Not Another D&D Podcast - Ep. 99: One Big Bed (The Chosen Saga)
Episode Date: April 30, 2020The Band of Boobs have one last hurrah before Thiala returns to Bahumia. Beverly gets in the Jamboreen spirit, Moonshine visits some old friends, and Hardwon experiences a first. Support us a...t Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music/Sound Effects Include:"Trumpets" by Citrus_Audio at Freesound.org."Rowdy Crowd" by xtrgamr at Freesound.org."Fiddlin' Around" by ecfike at Freesound.org."Kingshammer" by Emily Axford."Mee Maw's Burden" by Emily Axford."Tea for Two" by Emily Axford."Gladeholm" by Emily Axford."Shadowfell Sneak" by Emily Axford."Kiss of Life" by Emily Axford."A Hospitable Farewell" by Emily Axford."A Tale's End" by Emily Axford."Oh, Melora!" by Emily Axford."Hardwon Takes the Wheel" by Emily Axford."The Twinkling Lights of Galaderon" by Emily Axford."Sea Beast" by Emily Axford."Bittersweet Sixteen" by Emily Axford. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Goodbye, Sweeties.
Hey, everybody, Merf here with an announcement
about the campaign finale.
Next week, we will be live streaming episode 100
on our Twitch on a Saturday, May 9th,
at 5 p.m. Pacific, 8 p.m. Eastern.
The format won't be any different.
It'll just be the episode audio with some art,
but we wanted to have a chance for the community
to listen together live.
Our Twitch is twitch.tv slash nad pod.
That's Saturday, May 9th at 5pm Pacific,
8pm Eastern on twitch.tv slash nad pod.
Next Thursday we'll post an announcement as a reminder
and we'll let you know if this schedule changes so be on the lookout for that.
We'll also be posting the episode audio into the regular podcast feed Saturday night
after the episode is done airing on Twitch.
In the meantime, we wanted to once again thank everyone who's out there having to work amongst
all of this craziness, medical workers, delivery people, warehouse workers,
any employees and any stores that are still open.
Thank you and stay safe.
Now on with the show.
Welcome to the campaign after the campaign.
This is not another D&D podcast.
Welcome back to Bahumya everyone. Bahumya. I'm your Dungeon Master
Brian Murphy joined by Jake Herwitz. Hard one, Shorefoot. Emily Axford.
And Channet's Abbot. Hitting them dorks with the Pauling Morphs.
Oh, okay. Now that's how you force a rhyme. Really? I actually, I was very excited to have the word dork.
I was like, I can't believe I've never used that word in an intro before.
Oh, I was just referencing Tertis.
Oh, yeah. It was a Tertis.
I mean, it wasn't as good a slant rhyme as Tertis, but it was pretty close.
I mean, I definitely want my next character to say the word dork a lot.
Yeah.
And then, of course, we've got called Waltaner.
Beverly Toggle, the fifth Maysmaster,
gay disaster, let's do this.
All right, maybe is.
That's a t-shirt.
Guys, the pen ultimate app.
Is everybody excited and sad?
I'm not emotionally ready.
I got stage nerves, baby.
I'm feeling itchy.
Meets you.
All right, y'all, you know what? Let's get right into it. Let's do a little recap.
So last week, you guys faced the rath of pestilence who had corrupted Erdan and the dragon
Coixis. The rath quickly revealed that it was working in tandem with the horsemen of war
or the dork of War, who had taken...
Go easy on him, man.
Please don't call me a dork, don't call me a dork.
The Dork of War had taken an army of mine-controlled trolls to the one hells in an attempt to steal
the Hellfire Crown.
Munchine and Mima, a plane-shift shifted, then helped Pendergreens escape on a motorcycle
while Bev and Hardwan battled the rath of pestilence.
During the fight, Beverly was trapped
in a powerful maze spell, but escaped
after following Erdan's familiar bubbles
and receiving guidance from Erdan himself.
Returns to the material plane, Bev and Hardwan were able to defeat their corrupted friends,
but not before Coixis killed Boundor
and badly damaged his body.
Meanwhile, in the one hells,
Moonshine and Mima were able to defeat
the motorcycle trolls with the help of pender greens,
then used a pixie polymorph combo
to quickly warp the horsemen of war into oblivion.
Moonshine returned to the material plane,
and together you held hands around Balnor
as Bev cast a powerful raised dead spell
after two failed death saves in the ultimate
butthole-clenching moment of the podcast.
Balnor then succeeded three times in a row and was revived. His wounds
seemed to heal up with divine power as he took his first breath, and that is where we are
now.
So you guys are still in the middle of the city, near the scattered bones of Quixis and
the signs of your battle. People nearby are passed out in the streets due to the effects of pestilence's spell.
You guys all kneel around Balnor as he hugs you and takes labored breaths.
I saw the light. I thought I was a daughter.
What light did you see?
Just a bright white light and then I saw some some some darkness and
and Lydia Stormborn was there and she was like it's not it's not your your
time yet you get you have to I've been I have to go back and right right wow
that type of deal yeah yeah it was I don't feel
You see
Bombing up anti-life matter
And you guys see oh here I can make it on it for you. I know how to deal with that
You guys see after a moment a bell nor passes out. Oh
Hard one given that berry now. Oh, yeah, of course. I searched my pocket having eaten the berry. You find some, you have like, jammie fingers from having squeezed berry juice into your
mouth.
I thought you were going to do your thing, so I figured we had time.
Just put it in my hand and I'll mash it up into a paste.
Hard one tries to wretch.
Hard one starts gagging. Moonshan could solve this, but she sits back and watches the show.
It does seem like Balnor is okay. He's just exhausted.
You see, he seems stable, but he looks like he's going to need some rest.
Okay, I think this is just the effects of Braze Dead dead because it is not as a gentle of a resurrection spell
as others.
It's a heck of a spell, yeah.
It's a heck of a spell.
That's some powerful magic, young babe.
Yeah, I'm feeling pretty exhausted myself
after that one.
Yeah, I can imagine.
Yeah, you said.
But you did beatically.
Thank you very much.
You guys see Mima comes over and gently picks up Balnor and she goes we should
get him to your ship he's gonna need some time to recover.
Yeah.
You did good Beverly.
I don't think a Revivify would have would have cut it in this case.
That's good to know I will make God on this one and it seems like the right move.
Yeah, it definitely was. Good job, kid. Thanks y'all.
I ate barf up a little. Okay, that was good berries. You've been eating good berries too.
Everyone stopped getting into the good berries.
They were in the breakfast zones. They should be called great berries, honestly.
Mima has just popped a little berry as she like went and picked up balanore y'all
This is serious y'all we need to focus up
Sometimes the berries all that'll do
See that as you all pick up bal Balnor and begin heading back to the ship, other people around the city begin to pop up. They look okay, you see the sturdier folks like guards and warriors
and whatnot in their like bright plate mail and cooter. You guys don't see cooter right now, he was
at the university where he attacked Balnor. It's got a big bushel of berries and he's doing what he does best.
Meema, do you know if there were any casualties from this amongst the folk, you know, the common
populace?
You see, she looks around and yeah, you guys see that like guards are waking up and stuff
and then they're followed by kind of the normal everyday citizens.
You see like older people and kids and stuff.
And there's a murmur of confusion.
But you do hear people like crying out in pain in the distance and this is the aftermath
of an attack, of a tragedy.
So you see Mimog nods and she goes,
I'm sorry, sweetheart,
I think it's unlikely that we got out of this unscathed.
Okay, well, will y'all bring Boundor to the ship?
And I might start making the rounds
doing a little medicine woman routine.
You see, she nods and she goes,
let's get Boundor back and I'll come with you. We'll do it together. Okay. Great
So
You guys see yeah, there's there's this calm chaos around the city where it's nothing violent
There's no riots or like people going crazy or anything
It's just the after math of this insane thing where the entire city
Had insane bloodlust and then was
knocked out. People jumped out of windows to get to you, people fell out of
the windows of their homes and things like that, people broke their doors down to
try to get to you. So there is the aftermath of this chaos. You guys also see
as you're walking away from the sight of your battle, you guys see
the de-animated skeleton of Bubbles the Cat who lies on the earth peacefully. Bubbles. And as you
pass it, you see a vision of a ghostly black cat rush off in the direction that you saw the visions of like Erdan and Quixis and
Sattafel. I hug Pawpaw so tight. I'm glad they're all together at least. I think we
also got to give them bones a proper burial. I'll skip the bones. You scoop the bones. Yeah, this looks like a situation where like bubbles was probably just Erdan's regular
familiar, a cat who died that Erdan brought back to life.
And now that Erdan's not here anymore, they're both ghosts on another point.
He still deserves a proper burial.
These bones deserve their final rest in place.
Right, yeah.
I pinch my nose and I pick up all of Quicks' bones too.
I put them in a bag.
Absolutely enormous bones.
Yeah, those we might just build a museum around, huh?
You get like one bone in your bag and it's just like ink numbers you.
I need you to leave these for the soldiers, I don't know.
It would be cool to make some armor.
Actually, can we take it so that someday when I'm a dragon rider,
my dragon can wear bone armor?
Yeah, it's gonna take a little bit.
You guys take a...
I just put a sticky note on all of them,
proper to your moonshine,
so I haven't been proper to your moonshine.
Claimed, claimed.
You mark the bones.
They're pretty stinky.
I don't think anyone was gonna take them,
but that's probably a good idea.
It moonshine. Let's I'll lick them so no one else wants them.
Thank you so much, Arwan. If you could get them all up.
Yes, please.
Yeah, Mima goes, I think people are going to be that concerned about the bones, considering they all were just under my control.
I go into like, I go into a thrift store anxiety mode where I'm in competition with everyone around me for the best stuff.
Oh, don't forget the metatarsals. thrift store anxiety mode where I'm in competition with everyone around me for the best stuff.
Oh, don't forget the meditarsals.
I like just poor image.
Oh, yeah, poor image.
A huge pound of knuckles into the bag.
You guys here just bow nor tossing and turning in his coma.
Oh, I got it.
You can't.
You can't.
You can't.
Look, everything in the bag.
You're doing it wrong.
You can't disrespect the bag like this. Oh, we need him now more than ever. you're doing it wrong. You can't disrespect the bag like this.
We need him now more than ever. You're doing it. You don't put the small bones on the bottom.
They'll get crushed by the big bones. Save the metal tarsals for last.
You know let's get to the ship. So a few minutes later you guys get to the stormborne and you see that at first the ship is rattling in the wind
But after a moment you guys see that the arcane bubble
Goes back up
It seems like Lucanus or whoever else
Must have restored it as soon as they got their wits about them. All right. It's good to have dads
Does it does it stink like my daddies magic? Hmm. Go ahead and give me an arcana deck
With advantage because you know your daddy's magic and almost imperceptible bit of crick stink
That's funny
That is the distinct barrier of a dirty daddy.
All right.
Yeah.
You see a monochrome just like surrounding the barrier.
Yeah, you see like little worms in the, as a barrier around it.
And as people, Luke, think if I ever knew it.
So you guys see, yeah, that the ship was kind of moving in the wind here.
It was like tethered to this like air dock up on the side of the city,
but now it just kind of like sits there floating calmly, levitating.
You see that the city is once again protected and the stormborne rests easily
in the sky at this air dock.
You guys see Cordon, the gold cobalt and the rest of the crew rush up to greet you.
Ah, I see you've gotten everything back in order.
How was, you were gone for a while.
Was everything okay?
Hey, Butler.
Oh, yeah.
Well, nobody recorded the movie,
so we can't show you that.
But we can give you a quick recap, for sure, yeah.
We give him a quick recap, and then I really try to pivot,
I really try to emphasize that the bones of this corrupt
dragon will be used to protect a future dragon.
Yeah, you see that cordone is deeply offended
by the idea of reincarnating a dragon
and using it for mechronic means.
So he goes, insult to nature and the sky.
That's what I said.
You see as you guys were talking about dragons and stuff,
Boundore's just like nearly dead in Mimos Arms.
And Cordon goes, oh, should we get him to a bed?
Yes, right away.
Let's bring him to the captain's quarters.
Good, I've already redone it.
Excuse me.
Did you lift any floorboards I grabbed him by the neck? I've already redone it. It's the bow ties.
All right, everyone, let's get your nearly dead friend into bed.
Absolutely.
Okay, all right, let's check out the Captain Corp.
I don't know what art he found in there, but I.
Yeah, well art was down there.
It looks, this was not my ship.
I inherited it.
It's not my stuff.
It looked like it was an artist that was really
Obsessed with the female door form the female. Oh
Makes it makes sense because my dad um
I also
Hard one throws that man. I like matter
So cordone leads you guys to the captain's quarters where
he's already done a lot of redecorating. You see, the bed has been made. There are little
plants by the window and he is framed. Some of our ones are toward. It's beautiful.
It looks like it's like minimalist. It's like minimal. It's painful about a nude than
when it's framed. So I really, really appreciate this touch. That is a nice, bubbler's touch.
Yeah, you see, you see me, Mom, looks at it
and she just goes, just as maloramator.
Just as maloramator, we appreciate the nude,
the nude form.
Yeah, I'm glad, I'm glad this art
that was just laying around the cabin,
done by someone else, is serving a purpose, actually.
This is pretty cool.
Do we believe him or do we know that this is hard one?
Go ahead and give me a deception check.
That is, that's an eight.
An eight.
I'm kidding.
But it's a not eight.
Even.
I give him a tiny thumbs up.
Yeah, even with your passive insights,
you guys, you guys know.
Cool.
Yeah, I wink at him and say the cross hatching is amazing.
I shouldn't have signed him, huh?
I like the under boob.
See you guys place Ballonor in the bed and tuck him in.
He's sleeping deeply, almost, he's like near in a coma.
But as you watch him, you see that his breathing
is consistent.
He's breathing these slow breaths,
but they're deep breaths and he seems
like he's gonna recover.
I get some butt heavy and an IV drip for him.
He deep dies immediately.
It's diluted.
Just a watered down butt and a napkin.
It's like a morphine to him.
Yeah. He seems to be doing better but
Looks kind of sweaty and red faced
I don't know how badly he took everything but tomorrow I can cast regenerate on him
Based on let's try and help him heal from whatever sort of
Went on inside his body during that process great. Yeah, you see after a few minutes
Lucana's
Appears in the ship like teleports there. You see he rushes over and he hugs you moonshine he goes
Oh, my daughter. I'm so sorry. I was afflicted. I don't know how I was so good winged to a fool
I'm a fool for not seeing it coming.
Paypal, your best friend in the world
is the one who was the puppet that was being
made to dance before you.
I absolutely understand.
And you know, honestly, I caught on pretty quick.
So it's all good.
It's all good.
You did. You were brilliant.
You used counter spell like daughter.
You used counter spell. You, he used counter spell. Ha ha ha.
He starts crying.
Oh, people.
All right, well, I need to be getting the city under control.
Where is Erdan?
Oh.
He was fully consumed by the rath.
Yeah, I think he's maybe being gone for a little bit.
I'm sorry, I didn't know that you didn't know that.
You see, you read the emotion on Lucana's face
for a moment, just this look of shock and hurt,
but then he quickly kind of just takes in a big swallow
and just goes, right, well, Erdan would want us to get things under control
and to protect the people here.
I let my guard down before and I won't do it again.
Peba, this is not about you letting your guard down.
This is not about anyone's fall other than those pulling the strings.
Yeah, this is only one person's fault. He nods, and then he looks disappointed, and he goes,
I'm sorry, Moonshine, I wasn't able to finish the spell to lock away the Hellfire crown.
The Rathes Charm affected us before we could finish it.
Toneth and Anai will have to get back to work on it, but we might want to prioritize getting the city in order.
If you've already taken out the horsemen, I don't think the Hellfire Crown is an immediate
threat.
I would focus on theala and I can help you seal it afterwards.
Okay, so you don't think that it's existence poses a threat that theala might first go grab
that Hellfire Crown, then take her primordial throne.
I think it's unlikely that she would do her dirty work herself
and I think you've handled most of her henchmen.
I got pender greens on speed dial,
so I can always check in.
I'll throw the bus for wherever I'm at.
I'll forget if I say your name.
I'll come up immediately.
Hey, pender greens, anything sketching going on down there?
You know the trolls were pretty pissed off.
The race actually for being knobs and controlling them.
At first things were a little tense between us,
because I totally kicked the rest and jumped them on the motorcycle
if you were up at crackling. I totally kicked the rash and jumped him on the motorcycle a few rep of crack Yeah, you know there's a little bit of egg on their face
There that's a moment there, but you know they're pretty bad for rates for being knobs
So you come maybe manipulate this into being your troll
I'm a different type of nippy way. I think I think we're all gonna be buddies. I think it's all gonna come
Okay, all right
I've found a gris is down there with a buffer of trolls,
a buffer of angry trolls.
Then, you know, I'll check it.
I'll keep checking in with you,
make sure everything's okay,
but it sounds like you're in good hands.
Oh, you're appreciating the toilet.
Oh, under control.
Very nice.
You're on that?
Oh, you were emphasizing the troll. I see not that I oh you were emphasizing the
Troll because yeah, I first thought you were emphasizing the first part of the
Where a helmet and also this is over audio so we could not see or hear you winking
Okay, okay, well, you know be well and everyone's asking for your pen degrees.
Strange that these are most competent friends.
Throw it fun.
Throw a cartridge later.
I think it was a good thing we picked that field cleanful of those daisies, huh?
You know what? You might be right, hard one.
Good on us. Yeah, you see, Lucana's goes, all right, 12.
Without our den, I'm gonna have a lot of work to do.
I'm gonna go around, collect the mages,
and I'm gonna try to get the city under control
and try to comfort people.
People, do you need my help?
I was gonna go around just sort of hand in out heels,
like flowers, but do you name my helping
any other way?
You see, Mima walks over and she puts her hand on your shoulder and she goes, sweetheart,
why don't you focus on the olive?
The olive is going to be here in a couple days.
Why don't you relax?
I'll help your olive people.
But what if the way I relax is by helping other people?
You want to come around and help heal some people to Matt?
I think so.
All right.
Why don't we, I don't know how to be any other way.
Why don't we go ahead and make a little medical tan and you and I can heal some people up.
So, yeah, so, um, moonshine and, um, Mima and people Luke head off.
Lucanus, uh, joins up with a bunch of other mages and they start repairing various things around the city.
And Mima, along with the other druids and moonshine,
start going around and healing people up.
I can heal, and I can also do a little plant growth
to try and find some broken stones together.
That's cool.
Yeah, you see, there were some trees that got knocked over
and everything in the weather while the arcane bubble
Was down so you're able to like replant the trees or like pull back up the ones that had fallen over
Then he nails came loose. I have a hammer. So I'll sort of
Put some doors back on their hinges That actually be really helpful. Thank you so much. I want
Hard-witted Bev come along and hard ones just like pain stakingly hammering one boarded
Well, I whisper willows back into existence
She's gonna spend the evening helping people out around the city
But as it gets later you go back to the stormborn to check on Balnor
Gradually throughout the night you guys see your various friends and allies come by to apologize
various friends and allies come by to apologize for the actions that they took while charm. You see Ma Ba, Jaina, Kran, Durlin, Aguene, all come by. You see Cobb comes in
and does a really poorly tied to Jo ki, like runs into the room with his gun drawn
and he goes, where's Harbon add? I'm gonna get him this time add I'm gonna get him this time I'm gonna get him this
Oh No, this dude broke my window
Not you man, he drops the gun it starts solving. I'm so fucking sorry man. I was trying to keep it
God, oh you fucking got me that was good. That was good. It wasn't funny dude. Did you think that was fucking hilarious?
I want to hear as you laugh man. He just pulls in the heart when it starts sweeping. I'm so fucking sorry man.
Hard one laugh cries. Everyone is laughing and crying.
I thought it was like one of those things where it was way too soon for me to make
a joke about it, but if I really owned it, it would be freaking hilarious.
Perfect timing has always come. Our faces look like the theater masks, just like sad and
happy at the same time. Yeah, you see, after like, make that huge thing, like, Mama's
horrified, Mama like almost attacked Cobb.
She has no sense if you were like that,
but she goes up and apologizes to hard one.
I'm sorry, my champion.
It's all right.
No one said anything to me that I don't scream at myself
as I'm working out.
I'm just casually pad hard one on the back.
Well, your traps are looking enormous, my champion.
That means that means a lot of my equipment.
More than you can possibly know.
Pops up in your arms.
Yeah, you see, Jane up hats you on the back
and gives you like a firm apology.
And a Gwain is so sincere, goes up to you, Bev, and she goes,
I'm so sorry that I killed your dumb ass turtle.
Oh, it's okay.
Thank you, your apology.
He was just like this a lot, shitty little turtle.
I really didn't stand a chance, and I just like totally kicked his ass, and I'm so majestic.
It's actually a baby dragon turtle.
It's not even really a turtle, but like, thank you so majestic. It's actually a baby dragon turtle. So not even really a turtle, but like,
thank you so much.
It's very big of you.
It's just like this little baby that was flying at me
and I just like shot it down in like a couple shots
and those fight ups.
Twice as tall as I am, I can ride on it.
It's back.
It's pretty big actually.
Right, so I don't know what you're projecting for,
but I just hug her.
She pulls you in like to her.
That was just super sincere apology.
So she just thinks that you guys are really bonding.
When we're in close, I whisper in her ear,
I see arrows.
You son of a bitch.
It's cool that I invented a new thing,
but I really didn't want to use it against you bud.
Hey, you know what, that's gonna be perfect on the angel.
So I think it was worth it.
She nods and pulls you in.
It's fun to be on the other side
of an apology breakfast, huh?
Yeah.
Mojang was just huffing,
crick water, watching all of these very funny
apologies go down.
Yeah.
So as the night passes on,
you guys see that the lights in the city begin to go back up.
It looks like Lucanus and Mima and the other elves are getting a handle on it.
You go out under the deck and you can see Druids and Clerics still working to heal people
up while May just work to fortify the city.
And eventually you guys all get your long rest in for once Balmour is in the bed and you
all fall asleep in shoes. Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
That's too beautiful.
I think we wake up every once in a while to shout at him
if he starts going towards the light.
Yeah, I think I sleep light,
like I sleep lightly, and like anytime he shifts,
it's almost like when you have a new,
like when you have a new baby or something like that.
Oh, yeah. Oh yeah.
Very cute.
We're spooning him applesauce, feeding him ice chips.
Can you something new food, do you need food?
I'm up, I'm up, I'm up.
All right, I'm coming towards the light.
I'm going towards the light.
No, no, no, no.
Okay, taking a deep, I got to spend it.
I got to spend it.
All right, I'm touch-handsing him
but I'm slapping him across the face.
I sleep so long and deep that it seems like I'm touch-hanging him, but I'm slapping him across the face. I sleep so long and deep that it seems like I'm dead.
Meema mistakes hard one for being dead and reencarnation.
Oh!
So, you guys are all going to sleep.
Moonshine's getting her trance in.
The hard one is also getting his trance in, which is a double trance.
Deep slumber.
Apps like just bent over, completely bent over the back of his chair absolutely gonna have a destroyed back in the morning
Just sleeping so deeply and so top heavy
Still holding his hammer. It's just like oh gonna have absolutely no lower back tomorrow
His lumbar is absolutely fucked. None of
these discs are in the right spot. And you guys see you guys are kind of taking shifts,
checking on Balnor and during Bebs shift as he's sleeping closest to Balnor, Bev, you are suddenly awoken from a deep sleep by Bailnor grabbing you and you see he's tossing
and turning and talking to himself.
Bailve?
Bailve?
Bailve?
Bailve?
Uh, you hear there's something weird about his voice.
At times he sounds like Bailnor, but at others he sounds like your dad.
Well this is even more confusing than it already was.
Dad? You see Balnor suddenly opens his eyes and grabs your hand and goes, yeah, Beth, it's me.
You see that even though this is physically Balnor,
he does resemble your dad in this moment, just the way he holds his face, his mannerisms.
It feels very much like your dad.
Like Balnor is kind of a laid back dude and Be Bev's senior is super high strung. So you see, Boundor's relaxed features
are now all furrowed and strained.
As soon as I notice, I stop slouching.
He stops slouching, he said,
I'm gonna go, yeah, Bev, you're gonna hurt your back.
You're gonna have a back like your old pop
if you sleep and chairs like that, son.
I just for tonight, Dad,
we gotta make sure the balanore's okay.
All right.
He had a real rough day.
It was not a walking day for him.
Yeah.
Well, right, you're,
your stepdad here is sort of hovering between life and death.
So he was primed to be possessed.
Wow.
That's how I was able to get to you,
but don't worry.
We're gonna make sure he gets better.
I can actually help him out a little bit while I'm in here.
But make yourself at home.
Yeah.
It's not bad.
Not bad.
It starts like moving around a little bit.
So, did you have something you needed to tell me
or is this just kind of like a Sunday afternoon checkup?
Well, you know, I wanted to have a nice father,
son, chat, but there is some business to it,
Bev.
Before your big fight with the Aula, first off, I wanted to remind you to hustle out there,
okay?
I don't want you dogging it.
You know, I hate it when you dog it.
So I bring it up just because, you know, I know you don't like it when I talk about
you dogging it on the tea ball field
But you played we had to stick in the outfield and then you would just run around
There was a lot of cool flowers out there. I need to catalog them
I know Bev but we could go flowerpaken after outfield is a position and you need to pay attention all right
You're right everyone has a responsibility. You're right dad. I'm sorry. Okay. I did have more
practical responsibility. You're right, Dad. I'm sorry. Okay. I did have more practical reason for wanting to reach out to you.
You're a paladin, bud, and you're going up against a cleric.
So the light isn't gonna work on her.
You're gonna be at a little bit of a disadvantage. I've been worried about that.
But I'm hoping that I can
use all my abilities to help my friends and give them the power they need and just make do with whatever light I've got.
I think that's a good way of going about it, but I'd like you looking out for your teammates
like that that shows good hustle, you're not doggin' it.
Hey, you know what, if you're not doggin' it, don't doggin', you're're gonna hang with the pups and I don't want to be with the pups
Right, that's right. I want to be out there with the big dogs dad
You know how much I love those t-shirts
Now, babe, that's all well and good, but you are gonna have to use your prowess
against her and I've learned a few things
while I've been on the dark side here. Oh, and
You know how I feel about curses,
but if you're gonna dabble in Necromancy, I'd rather have you do it under my supervision, okay?
Yes, sir.
It's gonna be like when I let you have a beer at the beach house,
okay?
Oh, I still remember the taste.
Let me see your sword.
I hold it up, I give it to Balnor. You hold the sword up. You see
as Balnor, Bev Sr. holds his hands over it and he begins a chant. We find the light and keep it warm.
For in the dark we are reborn. Our core swarms where others' mourn, and I curse this sword by the storm-born
horde. You see that? Bird Slayer shimmers with a magical necrotic energy. It's still glowing
a white light, but there's something nearly imperceptible that's different about it.
It's more of a ghostly white now than a radiant light.
You see that one side of the hilt still has the green parrot wings, but the other side when you flip it has skeletal wings
two sides.
The same coin
And Bev you may now do necrotic damage instead of radiant damage when you smite
Dad, I hate to curse, but this is pretty flippin' cool.
You know, I don't like you dropping F-bombs, bud, but sorry I have to do it.
Sorry dad.
No, you know what, I'll even go as far to say, it's pretty frickin' cool.
What, dad?
I look around.
I look around.
Hey, you know, we're in the dark here, bud.
You're right, Dad.
What are you gonna be doing during the battle? Is there any way that Lydia and her forces can help?
I think I've contributed.
All I'm gonna contribute to this fight.
And I think that's a lot.
You see, he puts his hand on your shoulder.
You guys have grown stronger than
Heck anybody I've ever known anyone I've ever fought alongside I don't even think I could I couldn't even carry your jock son
I'd never ask you dad. It's weird and gross. I'm glad you wanted because that would be weird
Maybe weird and gross dad would be weird and gross thought I'm glad you wanted, because that would be weird. Maybe weird and gross, Dad. It'd be weird and gross, Sawd.
I'm so glad I'm sleeping through this.
They started to get so loud at that part.
I'm always trying not to, you begin to wake up.
What the fuck?
I never make you carry my cop, Dad.
I'm so glad you say about Sawd.
Pulsing for a big hug.
All right, bud, well, I gotta get going.
I know you're gonna make me proud,
because you already have. Thanks dad
We wouldn't be here without you
You gave up so much
And I promise you it won't be in vain now go with those shadow felver cruts in the shape. No dog in it
All right, Red go through quit dog and get over here
And he goes all right, love you bud.
Love you.
And I kiss Balnor I guess.
He gives a balnor.
And he goes, now I'm gonna give Balnor a little cleanse
on the way out.
So you might wanna go in and snatch him another pair of pants
or yeah, a bucket would be good.
Okay, I'll get several buckets.
Good luck bud.
You see suddenly Balnor aw awake with a jolt.
Oh, the bed pan.
Get the bed pan, bam.
Which one, extra large?
Yes, please.
Extra large.
Extra large.
Why do they make multiple sizes?
Yeah.
Actually, this is quite logical.
Yeah, especially in a world where there's
halflings in humans.
Yeah.
Human size.
Get the human size.
Yeah. Get the, just a cat.
Get the, just a cat.
Get the Goliath size.
You help Alanor.
You see he's in and out of consciousness
for the rest of the night.
It seems like your dad was able to help him a little bit.
I think this is the third time in our adventure
that I've helped someone in the bathroom.
You are a holy bathroom attendant.
Gladly serving.
So you guys wake up the next day,
and Valnor wakes up with you guys.
He's groggy, but he's in good spirits.
Hey guys, I didn't do anything embarrassing
or anything last night, right?
No, yeah, nothing, nothing at all.
I like push the bed pants under the bed.
I mean, you filled up a half-orc bed, damn,
but that wasn't embarrassing, that was,
I'm not full, or, you know, so there's that.
Wow.
Always something to strive for, brother, don't worry.
Someday, Valnor looks excited.
So you guys see throughout the day,
you guys have friends coming in and out,
Martha Togold and Nana Kineleaf,
come by the drop off.
Handy, Andy goes for them worthers.
Yeah.
You see that Nana Kineleaf has a basket of worthers.
Oh, no, it's a bad hand.
That's a bad hand.
She grabs the hand and starts like going
to throw it
out the window.
What? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey I gently grapple. I mean, there's a place for her in this war.
It's one of those things where it starts out as kind of a joke and then both of them
start to get a little sweaty and are just like forcefully trying to wrestle the other
one.
And Nana Gaines on her arm.
I'm going easy though.
I'm just, I'm a temper in it so that I'm only ever equal with her.
Nana Gaines don ever equal with her. Nanakindly.
It's surprisingly strong and you have to try like, you know, twice as hard as maybe you
thought you would have.
You have a hard one.
Look at her gloves.
Wow.
Hard one grips his hammer.
Martha ToeGold runs over, gives a bat a big kiss.
Hey, mom.
Oh, my god, I'm so glad you're all right, honey.
I know you're going to do so good in your big fights and you're going to save the world. We're all right, honey. I know you're gonna do so good in your big fights and you're gonna save the world.
We're all dependent on you,
but I know it's a foregone conclusion.
Aw, thanks, mom.
Now that I know that you're safe
and you'll be watching from afar,
I think that I'll be okay.
She gives you a kiss and she goes,
I guess they're back.
Yeah, I treat it like I'm about to go do like a fifth grade play.
Yeah. Yeah. And you
see she throws her hands up and she goes, you know, and if it doesn't work out, then
we'll all just go to the shadow fell and we'll buy a nice little house. That's true.
Live with skeletons and stuff, you know, always looking on the dark side of things.
You gotta look on the dark side of things. And yeah, you guys see Martha Togold and Anna Kinleaf drop off some food for Balnor.
And you guys.
So being where there's originals.
Where there's originals.
Mostly just where there's originals and sticky buns.
No, absolutely no protein.
Everybody feels sick.
And my back hurts.
This is perfect.
Yeah, he said Balnor is eating it.
He's just like, this is one of those things
where I'm enjoying myself, but I know I'm not going to recover.
And so you guys, you know, go and check out the city
during the day.
You see that it seems to be getting back on its feet.
The druids have fixed the weather inside the bubble.
You can see the sun shining on the city.
Moonshine, you see that as you're off healing people
and helping out around the city.
You see Mima finds you and she goes,
Hi Mima.
Hey Moonshan.
So, can I talk to you for a minute?
Yeah.
I don't remember everything that happened when I was charmed,
but I do remember.
Oh, I can walk you through. You turn and do snake.
Alright, I remember that part.
In that part.
I remember that part.
So, it's like that part.
We had a conversation before it.
You were saying something about the druid's timeless body
and how you were concerned about the aging process.
Oh, yeah. I mean, I guess I was just wondering,
like, do you, because, you know, as soon as I felt
myself getting stronger, I felt that thing I've heard
about where some druids get to a level where they don't
age just quickly. I just wasn't philosophically,
I felt wrong about it. Do you have it?
I don't think it's...
I do, it's, but it's very rare
and not very many crick-ills have had it,
but can I show you something?
Sure.
And just so everybody knows,
the timeless body that Moon Shining Mimai
are talking about right now is mechanically at level 18
Druids age one year for every 10 years. So what Moonshine is talking about right now is a fear of living for thousands of years.
So Moonshine, you see Mimah
takes your hand and brings you over to a large oak tree and you see she reaches her hand out and
casts
transport via plants.
You see the bark of the tree seems to smooth out to create a shimmering portal, and she
begins to step through and motions for you to join her.
I don't go.
I'm just kidding.
So, moonshine, you come out on the other side of the spell and are immediately hit by droplets
of rain.
You see that you have been transported to a massive branch on the grandma tree.
This enormous tree that dwarfs the biggest redwood that marks the center of the creek.
You look out and you see that the
creek has flooded. Brown waters rage beneath the pounding rain, drowning stumps
that once housed the creek, but you see still the grandma tree stands.
Is it strange to say this warms my heart to think that the all I tried to come for us and she just made more of our beloved mode
You see me ma laughs and she goes I think I'm getting a contact high
I know
We got to just get some boats and we can just float around here. I know
Me ma takes a deep breath and she goes
So the timeless body, you're going to age one year for every 10.
Now, elves can live to be seven or eight hundred years old, but some druids can live to be 10
times that.
And Bev has something similar.
He's of the earth too, so y'all could be around for ages.
Oh boy.
Yeah, but as much as it can feel like a curse, it's a blessing too.
I mean, me and Cobb were almost 400 years old.
You know, the sad side of it is in that time I've lost lovers, I've lost siblings,
parents, children. I've had friends who were orcs, friends who were goblins,
who died in their 60s of natural causes.
I've had elves I've known who went off on adventures
and never came back like your half-brother Vance.
Yeah, no, he did come back though.
I, you see, she smiles and she goes, I know.
Yeah.
I guess, I guess, I'm just, I'm worried because,
I walk around, tell people that,
that death is a natural part of life.
And I just think that it is a natural part of life.
I think that there's, I think life without death
would make lazy and selfish people.
And I think that there is a beauty that is gifted to life
by the mere existence of death in the same way
that I sometimes wonder if
there is a gift to goodness by the fact that there is evil and so here I am walking around saying
it's two sides of the same coin, death and life and it doesn't it feels sort of hypocritical to then
outlive them all, telling them all to be okay with their death and then outlive them all, telling them all to be okay with their death, and then outlive them all.
Meemaw nods, and she looks out in the creek,
and she goes, you know, that's a lot of people say
that's the difference between humans and elves.
Elves are off living in their magic cities,
and humans in the short time that they live
end up building their empires,
and in a lot of times in their short lives end up doing more than a lot of elves, but it can be different.
How long do half elves live?
You talking about hard one?
I mean, I saw my mind.
Well,
It's on my mind. Well, half of us usually can live to be twice as old as humans.
Some live to be 200.
I see, but I feel, look, I made the decision to go through this change because when I was down there and I met the glittering lady
and I promised her I would bring dragons to the sky by whom you and it seems like a real
complicated thing and one that could take a timeless body's worth of life to figure it out.
life to figure it out. But how did it feel to lose mayor balance and does losing people does it ever get easier? Sometimes I wonder if there's a limit to how much heartbreak a
heart can go through and the longer you live your life the more you're going to experience
it. And I guess if I'm being honest, I just don't know what it's gonna be like to know
Bahumia without hard ones, Surefoot.
And there's a part of me that doesn't want to find out what that feels like.
It doesn't get easier, but there are elves that give into the melon collie and become distant.
That's why you see a lot of wizards up in their towers. But Moonshan, I didn't have you until I was 350 years old. By that time I had already lost Maribel. And here now I
got you, now I got another sister. And she puts her arm around you. I have met
so many people and forged so many relationships that ain't nobody gonna replace Vance, ain't nobody gonna replace
Maribel, but Trees Dying, new ones sprout up and we drew it's are the gardeners.
We sure it's our gardeners. I guess since you brought it up, I already disappointed
that I haven't made any youngins and would you be disappointed if I maybe never did?
Oh, sweetheart, you've made so many youngins. You see, she
looks down at like all your like mushrooms and everything. You've
brought so much life and joy to this world, I would never expect you to live the way that I did.
Okay, that's good. Timeless body is intimidating and I'm not trying to be, I'm not trying to be
ungrateful by feeling complicated about it. I just, I don't want to be hypocrite and I'm also just,
I don't want to be hypocrite and I'm also just
There's just some aspects of it that can seem potentially really painful
But I know I can get some good work done with it. Maybe I'm intimidated by it too. I'm 400 years old
At some point you and I are gonna be almost the same age which is
insane I'll be like 7,400 you'll'll be 7,000. It's going to be
kind of weird. Wow. I'm going to go ahead and defeat the all of just to make sure that happens.
But look, it is very rare that a druid achieves the timeless body, but when they do,
they can do amazing things. I know I told you a lot of stories when you were a little girl
but did I ever tell you about
My grandma your great grandma
No, I don't know that you did
you see she
Put her hands unlike the bark of the grandma tree and she got a smiles wistfully and she goes
You know what the living wood was before your great grandma came around.
A paradise that just hadn't found its people.
No, it was just the wood.
Oh, okay.
There was no tree ants. There was no life in the forest.
She awakened the trees here.
It's her life's work.
And the type of thing that you do in 500 years,
it took her about 5,000.
And look at him now.
Cataclysm should have just about whopped the forest out.
She points out, and moonshine, you look out at
where the living wood once was, out on the edges of the creek,
and you see that there are no trees just overflowing water, but you look up in the nearby mountains and see that they are full of these living trees.
Like they all scattered up to the mountains?
You see them like, now that's a great people.
That's that great resilience.
That's that great resilience.
Get up there.
Climate trees.
Get up there.
Trees climate.
We're climate trees.
Trees climate mountains.
That's the great one.
We got to try it.
Yeah, you see that the living wood
is literally getting the high ground,
like going up and getting out of being flooded
And she goes that's what my grandma did. That's what your great grandma did
Do you think it'd be absolutely strange with me though if I
invested my timeless body in
something that's
I don't know where as
Bringing dragons back to Bahumia. I just I don't know where as bringing dragons back to Bohemia.
I just, I don't know why it spoke to me, but it did.
My little girl sticking up for the underdog and making sure they know hospitality, that
doesn't seem out of nowhere to me.
Well, you know, they say there's pain in life and there's pain and death and the only
salvage hospitality.
That's right.
And you know what?
It doesn't work out until the first thousand years.
Try something else.
Okay.
And when you're good and ready, when you've done what you've wanted to do, you can return
to the earth.
Like my grandma did.
We buried her right here.
You see, she pats the grandma tree.
She died at the ripe old age of 7,343.
The day after she died, a little sapling popped up.
10 days later, it was the biggest goddamn tree I'd ever seen.
Ooh.
And through all these storms, through chosen occupation,
she stood, watch over the creek.
And she'll be here waiting for us when you get back.
Okay. Yeah, I can do this. I
I guess there is something sour. I'd probably need to swallow though. It is
There's people you meet that are
Once in a timeless body lifetime kind of people, right? Oh, yeah.
Okay.
And you keep them with you.
Okay.
Um, moonshan, go ahead and give me a perception check.
Is the ol' gonna attack us?
I got a 920!
Whoa!
moonshan!
You hear the sounds of Crick-Bullywigs.
What?
What? What?
Coming from inside the Grand Motri.
Oh, me ma, I think that some of the critters
have retreated into the Grand Motri.
You guys climb in through one of the like higher up entrances.
You see that there is like this pelt that is blocking the way
so that rain can't get in.
You go in and you know that the grandma tree was this
hollowed out big complex with like lots of different floors
that at one point it housed thousands of sick crick elves
during the crick rot plague.
You go in this time and see that while the bottom part of it
is flooded, you see that the grandma tree is now housing
hundreds and thousands of brick bully lugs in the storm.
You see thousands of these little orange frog people croaking
And you also see Nander fly
What about Joe I look for Joe the mayor with the Matt so I see leading them mocha you see a
Little praying man just go I'm goes hey mocha
Joe did you orchestrate this refugee colony?
You know what?
Sort of got away from me there
Technically I am the mayor, but everybody kind of just does whatever they want around here
But that's what the mayor does they're just honestly a face to the chaos. That's right vote Joe
That I will I am so at peace to see y'all get a vibe and so beautifully.
Yeah, you see, yeah, it looks like the grandma tree
is like providing life for the creatures here.
You see that there are like vines growing on the inside
of the tree that are like bearing fruits
that like crick bully wugs are eating at.
You see like little chipper monks and stuff.
Um, I do have to though, like, using my knowledge, can I, do I know a fruit that, a fruit
or vegetable that has a lot of vitamin D?
Because I know there's a deficiency going on in here.
Oh, you, oh yes.
So I need to like, create food and water and work a flavor.
Yeah, you're gonna need a Crick's specialty, sunny fruits.
Okay. I need a real quick plant growth into the bark of the tree need a quick specialty sunny fruits. I need a real quick
plant growth into the bark of the tree of munches sunny fruits. Y'all are looking a
little pale. Y'all are looking like me in a library. Oh wow thanks Moonshine sunny
fruits. Haven't had those in a while. Sun has been out a long time. Get that
vitamin D. Get that vitamin D. It's important to get that sunshine. They all shaped like a
sunny D bottle. They all, they all shaped like a sunny D bottle.
They all jump over and start eating the fruits.
And you see Mimal looks super happy to be up amongst
the Nanner Flies and the Crick Bully Wags and everything.
And you see Mimal goes, Moon Shine,
you remember when I used to send you off to catch Nanner Flies
when I had to get a trance?
Yeah.
I got to get a spell slot back.
You mind catching a couple Nannerflies for me
while I do a little trance.
I go full into kid mode and just like whip out a jar
and like act like it's the most important thing in the world.
Mima, I'ma get you every single Nannerfly in here.
Moonsign runs off, starts catching Nannerflies.
You see a bunch of the bully wugs start jumping up
and rassling with you and trying to like get to them
before you do.
Joe, the mayor joins in and perches up on your shoulder
as you guys catch nanderflies.
We're gonna cut back to Glade Home.
Back in Glade Home, Boundores and Better Spirits.
He's sitting up in his bed throughout the day,
old Cobb and a bunch of the green teens come by
and are hanging out for a while.
A Gwaine, Durlin, and Cran are all sitting around. You see Durlin busts out his guitar and starts playing old
jamboreen songs and they pass like a flask around. If you see a dragon, you take a wipe, earth. We do all we can for Mother Earth.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I go.
Yeah.
Dirlin, Dirlin gets super pumped in Boundores, like clapping.
Cran looks like a little bit embarrassed in a way.
It looks mortified.
I can't believe you guys fucking remember that song.
Dirlin and I are like spinning around.
We're going like elbow to elbow.
We've got like a whole routine prepared.
Yeah, it's like it's like you guys are kids again.
Yeah, Crann.
Well, Crann and Dirlin, yeah, they're like 40 now
because they aged naturally because of the Feywild,
but they get back into the kind of
jambering spirit of things that feel like
you're all kids again.
Kalu Kale gang.
Kalu Kale.
You guys see it gets to be sunset.
You guys see the purple and gold lights of the Glade Home Street lights pop up in the
city outside of the windows like the port holes and stuff.
Right as it begins to get dark, hard one, go ahead and give me a perception check.
Ooh.
Mmm.
Dirty 20. Ooh. Mm. Dirty 20.
Ooh.
Hard one.
You see a crow watching you from the sky?
And then flitter off into the city.
I drop everything.
I run after a cock.
You see my sweet boy, my sweet baby bird.
As Dirlin and Bev are dancing around,
all the halflings are kind of hanging out.
Old Cobb runs after hard one
and helps them try to track down Kaka.
So, awesome.
Hard one.
You guys take off into the city
and follow the path that you saw the birds take.
You see like Kaka in the like deep distance,
just like a little black speck.
And anytime you lose it,
O'Cobbs like a pretty good tracker,
he's able to find it.
This way, we gotta go this way.
There's Kaka.
If I could only get it to hear my voice,
I'm sure he'd come to me.
Ha ha ha ha.
You guys chase it for a good long while.
The sun sets, you're going to be out of breath.
You rush over to like the other side of the city
that overlooks the ocean.
And you see finally, this crow has perched in a tree.
Go ahead and give me a perception check
to see if you recognize. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That was a six, but I'm gonna use a luck point.
Okay. Beautiful. Beautiful.
Ooh, that's an 18.
An 18? Hard one, that's cockaw.
Oh my God.
If I, I guess I ran with my hammer probably,
but I lay it down at my feet,
and I just creep.
Three steps, pause for three seconds.
Three steps, pause for three seconds.
And I get as close as I can to the tree,
and then I raise my finger.
Hard one, as you raise your finger up towards Kaka,
suddenly, you feel someone throw a bag over your head.
Go ahead and roll and oppose athletics check.
What the fuck?
What the fuck is happening?
Oh no, that's a 30 for my athletics check.
A 30?
Hard one.
As soon as you feel this bag start to go overhead,
you reflexively like grab it,
stop it from going over your head
and just punch the unknown assailant
And you see that you have punched Nerman in the nose. Oh, man. Ah!
What the fuck are you doing here, man?
You look and you see that it was Jaina and Nerman and Jaina goes, oh, I'm so sorry. You turned around
You see that a bunch of dwarves were hiding and pop out
They all kind of look around awkwardly and then they look up at you and they go
surprise
Bring it in you crazy
You see frost dwarves iron deep dwarves a lot of them that you recognize you see like King Coldain and King McGannis
You see the crew of the stormborn
You see King McGannis goes up to you
Slaps you on the arm and he goes you didn't think we'd send you off without a drink first did you?
It's dwarven tradition. I knew it. I knew you were gonna put a bag over my head
Push me in the face and then get me a beer fucking knew it
That's right. You see they do a throw a bag over your head and punch you in the face. Ha ha, it's your edition. I love really hard.
Yeah, no bags over your head.
You're king for the day, boy.
You see he takes the crown off his head, puts the iron crown on your head.
You see a bunch of dwarves come over with like a cask.
One of them hands you a mug, pour ale into it.
You see King McGannis holds his mug up and he goes
to the tall dwarf, tall dwarf! Everybody yells it out in chorus and you guys drink and you
sing songs. A bunch of the frost dwarves bring out these drums and a metal instrument that
sound like a theraman. They clear a circle and start wrestling each other.
Frost d'Orbs against iron deep d'Orbs.
Cobb and Cawcaw join you, of course.
I'm absolutely double fisting.
You got two beers that you're drinking.
And then we're going to cut over to Bev.
So back on the storm, born.
Yeah, as the night goes on, you're there with all the halflings.
Ballonort, this point, is sitting up.
He's like on the edge of the bed now, hanging out with you guys.
You guys are telling stories about being green teens
and the jamboreans.
Such, still such a shame.
I feel like we said the jamborean was back on,
but we never got to have a real jamborean.
You know what, I think that's gonna be the first thing we do
as soon as this theala problem is handled.
What do you say?
You know what, next year's jamborean.
We're doing a jamborean next year.
That's, you know what, count on. Let's all, you know, everybody's like jamboreen? We're doing a jamboreen next year That's you know what count on let's all probably you know everybody's like a little bit drunk
We promise right now this time next year. We're having a jamboreen time next year. I'm getting my calendar out
I'm in my calendar to get your calendar out. It's out here. I got it. Yeah, crann crann looks at you pulls a knife on you
You better we better have a jamboreen how long is crann weighted for a jamboreen blood? Oh, I we're gonna have a blood
40 years. It's been it's been 30 years since I've been to a goddamn trampoline.
Oh, it's gonna be the best one you've ever had.
Trust me, the calendar is of course a page a day calendar
that hard one drew of Jemma.
You see after a bit, Dirling goes.
I definitely wanna see December Jemma.
Just in just a coat, in a fur coat.
Santa hat.
Yeah, there's so much of imagination.
In a fur coat, in a Santa hat.
Just so tasteful.
After a bit, you see Dirlin gets a slice smile and he goes, you know what?
We might not be able to have a jambarine,
but we should pull an old-fashioned goof.
Oh!
One last goof.
One last goof.
One last goof.
And Cran nods.
One last goof.
One last goof.
One last goof.
One last goof.
I straight up do a bad move.
Everyone starts chanting for the goofs.
Yeah.
You see Cran goes, I know where Scoutmaster Denny is staying.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
There's no harm in playing one little goof
on a former Scoutmaster, I don't think.
Ha, ha, ha.
Hey, you guys, you guys were saying that,
when you guys were kids, you guys got like kidnapped
by like frogs.
What if we like, what if we like dressed up as frogs?
You see like, Boundars like dressed up as frogs? You see like ballad or it's like gone back
to drinking or any?
Whoa, slow down buddy.
What, not fine, man.
You're bandages are bleeding.
Hold on.
All right, change my bandages, bud.
All right.
I change his bandages.
Are you saying that while I'm changing his bandages,
I go, are you saying maybe we should wear some sort of like
bully, what costume or something? You see a Dirland nods and it goes brilliant. I'm changing his bandages. I go are you saying maybe we should wear some sort of like bully what?
Costume or something? I see a Dirland nods and it goes brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. How did we how do you and yours? You didn't go to green team camp. No, I mean I grew up with halflings
I think it's in the blood goofs are in the blood goofs are in the blood
We press the light and we keep it like that That is our way. That is our way. That is our way.
That is our way.
That is the way.
Now come on to the crafting closet.
You guys go into the crafting closet and you find the Scullywag Scuba Suit.
And you also find the Bullywag Sleeping bag.
The Bullywag Sleeping bag.
You guys, to various degrees of success, are able to dress up as bully wugs
and you guys prep for your big prank.
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Okay, that's
it for me. Go team pants and enjoy the show.
So meanwhile, hard one, you've been drinking and hanging out with these dwarves. There's
probably been like 10 or 11 wrestling matches. It's like, it's, it's honestly like getting,
you aren't getting as drunk as the dwarves because like you know
You you have to fight the Allah like tomorrow or the day after like sometime very very soon
But these guys like just endless entertainment and they're in the drags
It's like Nerman is fighting some equivalent frost worth. That's just like a crewman and they're having like a very bad wrestling match
All right Nerman. Yeah.
Let's call it, bud.
And Moonshine, I think at this point, you've come back.
So I come back.
Do I see this party going on?
I think you can sense kind of where people are at
because of your reports, pores, and stuff.
Okay.
Then I think I'll get back and be a report sports.
I say, Yelpardian? We're partying pretty hard. I'd look at
Nerman passed out on the ground. Just Nerman getting body slam.
Then I guess I take a shot of Crickwater and I say, who wants to turn
it to an animal? And I guess an eighth level animal shapes.
And anyone can just, for the night,
be whatever animal they want.
I just, it's just a spell I've been wanting to try.
You see, they have really weird requests.
Yeah, I've always wanted to be a duck.
All right.
I've been to a duck.
You turned King McGannis into a duck.
King, I hate this for you.
You see the Frost Dorks go up, I would also like to be a duck.
All the doors want to be ducks.
You know what?
We have great reverence for the ducks.
Alright, everyone's a duck.
You see, they start having duck fights.
It just reignites the wrestling rivalries and they all fight again as duck.
Hey, quick pecking each other place. Watch your bills.
You duck raise.
I swear to God, they think there's so much noble about a mallard.
Masters of land and sky.
So after a little bit, so moon shine is here, she's casting casting turning these dwarves into ducks and stuff.
You know the spell is any animal you want this isn't just a duck. I would like to be
small duck. Oh yes well duck. I want to be a medium duck. All right medium duck. I would like
to be a large duck. A large duck. God would admit actually medium duck does sound pretty amazing. I turn hard one into a duck. I made the choice final.
He's a fuck.
Um, fuck on a duck after a hard one dispels for being a duck
eventually. Um, you see, uh, Jaina pulls you aside hard one
while moonshine is, um, uh, tending to the other dwarves and
turning them into ducks and whatnot. Sorry, but,, but I'm meant for you to also try it.
We're like headed towards Dinny.
I trust that it's so bad, Drugs, yeah.
I'm like, I'm gonna solve this for you.
Yeah, it's just like a bunch of drunk stupid halflings
are like dressed up as bullywugs
running across this city.
We look good.
This is authentic.
Yeah, there's just like drunk ducks wrestling each other.
The people who needed this spell the most.
This is gonna work.
And you can be a duck.
And you can be a duck.
Hard one, you see, Jaina pulls you to the side,
and she pulls her mug out, and she cheers as you.
Cheers. Hey. Cheers, hey.
Cheers, that was real quickie time.
hilarious man, she laughs a little bit.
You see, she takes a sip and she goes,
so listen, I've been meaning to ask you,
normally when I'm attracted to someone, I go through like a six to 12 month long
courting process before I formally declare my feelings but seeing as it is the end of the
world I don't really have time for that. Right. Anyway I'm sort of intrigued by your...
Okay, well sorry. What were you going to say? I was about to say, nothing.
Yeah, I was just gonna, nothing.
Yeah, I was just gonna, yeah, all right, okay.
Cool.
Nice.
No, I was just gonna say that I think your friend
Moon Shine is cute.
Oh, thank God.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Thank God.
Did you see she looks at you and puts her finger between you.
Did you think?
I shake my head.
No, no, no, no.
I thought you were asking about Balnor.
Balnor?
Or Nerman or something.
Oh, good Lord, man.
Never.
Come on.
No way.
I don't think so.
Right.
Well, I don't know her very well.
It's just one of those situations where it's like you know, it's a
Friend of a friend who you think is cute and I I kind of hoped I'd find myself in a position to get to know her
I'm wild shaping back and forth between a duck and a cute and an elf
I look over at moonshine
Hey, Jaina the only thing you need to know about moonshine is that she's the coolest fucking elf in the world.
I take a shit.
Oh God.
See what I'm telling you?
So why?
Jaina shakes her head and she goes, I don't know why, I think that's hot.
I think it's because I grew up, I think it's because I know it would make my dad really mad.
Does that make sense? It's the kind of thing that you never knew you were into until you see her do it and then it's like I know it would make my dad really mad. Does that make sense?
It's the kind of thing that you never knew you were into
until you see her do it and then it's like, wait a second.
But anyway, I don't really know her that well
and I wanted to check in with you first,
is there's nothing like going on with you guys, is there?
Me and Moonshot, I mean, no, no, nothing like going on with you guys, is there? Me and Moonshine, I mean, no, nothing, nothing's going on there at all.
See, she burrows her eyes and she goes, you answered that kind of defensively.
Well, I just mean nothing's going on between us.
Well, I just mean nothing's going on between us. You know, because she doesn't like me like that.
Oh, so I mean, she's single.
Right.
As far as I know, she was engaged a couple times,
but I think she's untethered in space.
But if you have feelings for her, then I'll back off,
because you and I were friends first.
Hey, I got your sister killed, so they're so good.
Well, no, you did it.
I told you hard one.
I tried to explain.
I was under the charm spell.
They were manipulating my emotions.
I didn't, I don't actually...
Yeah. Oh, yeah. I know, you say the truth,
because it hurts the most, I get it, it's okay.
I don't think that, hard one.
I appreciate it.
I consider you a dear friend,
and I wouldn't wanna hurt you.
So if this is someone you care about,
I don't need to pursue moonshine.
I'll tell you two things.
One, it doesn't matter how I feel about moonsonshine, because she's going to do whatever the
hell she wants anyway.
And that's one of the reasons why I fucking worship her.
All right.
Don't let me stop you though.
All right.
I'll give it a second.
By the way, that girl down there has been looking at you all night.
And you see, she points towards a dwarven woman.
You see she's got like a cool haircut where her hair is shaved on the one side of her head
and then swoops to be like long on the other.
She's got long blonde hair and a luscious beard.
Oh, wow.
And you see, she's got like two hand axes at her side.
And she looks less regal than like a jaina or a jama,
like more of a barbarian.
She's got like a tunic that is made of pelts.
And you see, she kind of looks at you
and then smiles real quick and then kind of like turns away.
And jaina goes, you do whatever you want to do.
You do whatever you want to do.
Let's everyone do whatever everyone wants to do.
I'm gonna go turn into a duck for a little bit.
It was fun.
It was actually really fun.
I see Jaina walks off.
Lay an egg.
I guess I take a ganderrit this mysterious dwarven woman.
You see she's like hovering on the outside.
You see it's pretty clear that she's checking you out, but she's doing a self-conscious thing
where she's hovering around another crew, but like trying to like kind of like inch your way over to you.
It's like honestly kind of a hard one move.
Ha ha.
Hey, you, you want a beer I have too.
And I really only wanted one.
I just got the second one to, to keep up this air.
Oh yes, I see y'all.
Double fisting it, that's cool.
I love your accent. What's your name?
Oh, my name is Shibu.
Sorry. Shibu. Shibu. Shibu.
Hey. I'll call you, okay. Yeah, I'll call you Sibi.
Yeah, that's all right.
Ah, you must be a hot one, Chef it.
Yeah, that's me.
Oh yes, I heard you were fighting the Allah.
Ah, yeah, yeah, that's me. Oh yes, I heard you were fighting the Allah. Uh, yeah, yeah, that's the plan.
When she came into the sky and she made it rain,
kind of made me want to go on a little ride.
Really?
Yeah, kind of caught me.
It pissed you off.
Kind of got me angry.
Kind of got me angry.
Really?
Kind of got me angry right now thinking about it.
Yeah, well hey, you can get angry around me, that's fine.
Do you like it when ladies get into a bit of a rage?
Hahaha.
Hey, I'm a big proponent of just everyone doing
what everyone wants to do.
Hahaha.
So yeah.
I appreciate that because I used to live in a village
and it would make me sleep on rocks.
There were a few of us and they would keep us in a rage and we'd get mad and we'd have
to attack people.
But I ran away from there about a year ago and I feel kind of at a place here amongst
all these iron-dead dwarves and frost dwarves and whatnot.
Well, you know what?
I'll tell you what, I grew up among these people
and I didn't feel very much in place either.
I was always looking for acceptance and I ran away
and I was able to find it and now here I am back with
these people who I thought would never accept me and they have so I wouldn't be
afraid about about all these folks accepting you I think you're part of the
family and if I can ask did you you never You didn't have a brother, did you? I had quite a few brothers.
I had some cousins,
sisters.
Was one of them named JV?
Oh, JV?
That's the one.
That is the one.
Oh, the brother named JV?
Yes.
Two actually, and a cousin?
Oh. Two actually in a cousin. Oh, your brother as much as I don't like what he's up to now.
He's a pretty solid dude.
Oh, it's, oh, now I know which one you're talking about
because most of them were, you know, put me on the rocks
and whatnot. But yes, yes, yes know, put me on the rocks and whatnot.
But yes, yes, yes, that one.
There was a good one.
Yes, he was a good one.
Felt bad that I left him there.
Bit of a dick move on my part.
Hey, everyone's got to do it.
Everyone's got to do it.
And he turned out all right for him.
Yes, he's in Morton's forge.
Uh, he's dead with, uh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Ah, that's too bad.
I am so sorry.
I thought you knew.
That's all right.
I'm devastated.
Okay, here.
You have my other beard.
Thank you.
I don't mind double fisting myself.
And if you, yeah, if you need to go into a rage, if you need to get upset, I've got a shoulder
for you to cry on.
Woo!
Or rage into it.
Yes. Well, I think it's pretty cool. I've got a shoulder for you to cry on. Ooh! Or rage into you.
Yes, well, I think it's pretty cool what you're doing going off and fighting the other and all that
in sometimes before we would go into battle.
Might have like a bit of a snog.
I don't know.
You do that or?
Um, I, yeah, I live to snog.
I mean.
Yeah, do you like, where do you do it and how or when?
Yeah, I'm just about a variance, so I'm alright.
Just do it by on like a tree or something.
Um, yeah, savage. I can't treat you something? What? Um...
Yeah, savage.
I'm gonna go just get another bruski.
And I'll meet you behind the tree in T-5.
Alright?
And then a hard one does a weird moonwalk away to a moon shine. Oh my god.
You gotta help me.
You gotta help me with something.
Hey, yeah, what's up?
Uh, okay.
You want to get your into a duck again, because honestly, I'd probably have to do a little
trance, because I already cast a spell.
Okay.
Well, that's tempting.
Another thing's happening.
And do you see that dwarf over there? Oh, yeah, yeah, she's cute. Yeah
She's pretty great beard great beard great beard great beard. She asked me if I wanted to snog and I think I know what that is
Oh, yeah, that's like that's like when your tongues high five
Okay
Okay, that's awesome.
That's what I thought.
Yeah.
Can you cast something on me that like makes me fuck,
like, you know how to do that?
Can I?
Oh, that is so funny.
Okay.
Yeah, give me one second.
I can work with this.
I would like to cast both foresight and enhance ability for your charisma.
Oh my god.
You have advantage on all roles.
And I think your charisma is boosted.
You're the fucking best.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm trying to think I don't think I have anything that can place memories in your head that weren't there.
No offense gets out of the bag, I guess, on that one.
But I really think you're going to go in there with more beginners looked than anyone has ever had.
I fucking appreciate it, Mojang. And if all goes to shit, I'm going to run out from
back there and you're going to have to cast me into a duck, okay?
Okay, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Go get him, duck.
Hard one waddles behind the tree. Hard one goes, walks off. You see as Shival sees you walking back,
oh, you bit hotter than you were before.
Oh, I just like to personality, but now.
Yeah, that's what two beers will do to me.
Might have been moonwalked there.
So Moonshan, you see, Hard one goes off
behind the tree with Shival.
If I had eight hours, I could cast a waken on you.
Just your sexual intelligence.
It's like a wakenic.
Hard one goes behind the tree as we cut to black.
Munchine, you see that Jaina Bronzebeard is like
weirdly like hovering near you looking like super red
face.
Oh, hey, I'm sorry.
You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you,
you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you,
you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you,
you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you,
you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you,
you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you,
you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you into a duck again? No, I was actually wondering if you might accompany me on a walk.
Oh, yeah, I mean sure, yeah, absolutely.
You see, she holds her arm out, very proper.
Okay, actually, I hold my arm out.
Okay, she takes your arm.
You guys both, just like very masculinely,
lean arms, both taking the dominant position.
So, it's not a use to, yeah, okay.
Oh, it's okay, I'm used to,
it's, it's, it's, well, no, that's fine, that's,
that's okay.
So you see, Jaina walks you out into Glade Home
under the glow of the arcane street lights.
You walk towards the castle and you you guys go across the water garden,
you see the moonlight reflecting on the water.
And Jane is super, super nervous at first,
but she begins to ask you more questions
about the quick and stuff to try to get to know you better.
I've heard your nanorflies are quite fearsome.
I'd like to wrestle one someday.
I mean, yeah, you know what?
Our wild shape into a nanorfly and we can wrestle.
Hahaha.
My God, so many teeth.
Moonshine, go ahead and make an authentic sec.
Okay, I rage.
You rage?
Hell yeah.
29.
Moonshine, as Gina goes to tackle you,
you take one arm and shove it up into her armpit
and a judo throw her down and you land on top of her
and you, on wild shape and the two of you
are just super close to each other.
And Janice is just breathing heavy.
Ah!
Ah!
It's been a long time since this has happened.
Ah, I'll be straightforward with you that I got some spells.
I got a cast later and some nighttime visits I got to make, but I got a couple hours before then.
Ah, you see she pulls you in and kisses you.
She's like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha some tree. We cut over to Beverly and the other Halflings. You guys creep through the city
and your bully wugs suits and Balnor keeps laughing. Just freaking hilarious, man. Shut up,
shut up, Balnor. Shut up. Be serious. Stealing kids and eating bugs. We're a bunch of bully walks. Still in kids and indeed bugs, we are a bunch of bully walks.
You guys creep through the city until you find Danny's house.
You see it's this gorgeous little manner.
He must have commissioned a mage to make it for him because it has popped up very quickly.
Ah, such a misappropriation.
It's this gorgeous little manner near the university.
It almost looks like an above ground hobbit hole,
cute and quaint with rounded doors and windows.
It's near the edge of center city
where the ground drops out beneath the bridge
to the university.
So he's got a beautiful view of the ocean and the college.
And a gwayne looks around, she goes,
is he probably gonna break in?
Yeah, he's obviously sleeping, this is perfect.
Uh, Durlin looks around and he goes,
all right, so are we all going in at one source?
One person gonna unlock the door?
How do we want to do this?
Let's send two people in to unlock the door.
He might have some sort of golem guarding him.
He's a real coward.
It's been a while, but you have to remember,
he's an extreme coward.
You see, a Gwayne looks over at you and she goes,
all right, we'll do it.
No offense, but the rest of you guys are old as hell.
And when Cranon Durlin looks super offended,
I used to be younger than you.
Hi, my name is Gwayne.
See, I find you.
Sorry.
You guys go to sneak into Denny's Manor.
You guys go over to one side of the house,
check the windows.
You see that they are locked, check the other side.
Those windows are locked as well.
But you guys go up to the roof and you see that there is a chimney that is big
enough for halflings to fit through, certainly.
Ho ho ho.
RIPP.
RIPP.
You and a Gwein begin working your way down the chimney.
Go ahead and give me a stealth check, Bev.
Oh no.
Can I do it with advantage because I'm with a Gwein?
Yeah. And we roll that one. Oh no. Can I do it with advantage because I'm with a Gwayne? Yeah.
And we roll that one.
Oh no.
Oh.
Ah.
That's an eight.
I love Goose.
I love Goose.
Can we say that I threw handy Andy with them?
No.
Okay, I tried.
You see, a Gwayne is ahead of you,
just completely silent.
She hands on both sides of the chimney,
slides all the way down to the bottom,
looks up at you, gives you a thumbs up,
and goes into the house.
I give her two thumbs up and I slide all the way down.
You give her two thumbs up,
lean forward, super top heavy,
you wore like your arbor and everything under it,
and Bev, you free fall from the top of the chimney
to the bottom.
You take real quick eight damage as you,
Why does every Bev goop ending a fall?
If you're nothing, you clang! every Bevgoop ending a fall. Of your nothing!
You poo clang! Just super, super loud noise as like all of the dust
and ash that was in Denny's fireplace like explodes out.
You see a light goes on in the bedroom.
A gwayne is in the middle of the room.
Denny pops up, just sees two shadows in the living room
and goes, ah, ah! And jumps out the window, Denny pops up, just sees two shadows in the living room and goes,
and jumps out the window, but his window goes over the edge of the city.
You see Scoutmaster Denny starts to fly out in the chasm of the city, and he's like,
oh my god, he's gonna fucking die!
He's gonna fucking die!
No, no, no, I missed you step out the window after that you missed you step out the window 30 feet of movement you see um
You're able to fly further than Denny is falling
Scoutmaster Denny falls into your arms you guys are both plummeting out of the sky falling right now
All right, so I've got them in my arms. Yeah, I guess feather fall sweet
You guys you cast feather fall scout master Danny is fighting you the whole time
I'm gonna eat you commit to the bit you feel so much piss running down his leg. Oh
gosh that's gross. Get away from me. Get away from me bully. I whisper in Beverly's voice. It's gonna be fine. I'm gonna eat you.
No Beverly save me. Save me Beverly.
I guess I tried to angle myself towards the cliff so I can climb back up. I... You fall like thousands of feet,
with a terrified scout master, Denny.
You guys like land in like ravaging waters.
You have to swim in back to like save his life.
It's such a painstaking thing.
And you see that as you are dragging
Denny out of the water, like onto the rocks of the shore,
he like collapses on the shore and goes,
all right, if you're gonna kill me, just do it fast.
You know what I do?
I give the agreed upon signal, which is of course
a bully bug mating call for all the other teens to get down here.
You do a mating call. Everyone is just so far away and thinks you're dead.
So you are at the shore's deep underglade home.
Just like rocks everywhere. You start making a bullywug mating, and Denny just gets up and just starts running into like
the cataclysm of wilderness.
Right, Denny.
Denny, I take off the mask.
It's me.
Oh, Bab, you're good with me!
Ha, we got you!
You already have your humor patch pal?
Well, long story, but if you have another one on you, that'd be great.
You almost killed me!
Oh, going into battle against the Allah with a humor patch.
But a proud, you displayed it.
You know what?
Ben, I'm proud of you.
You, Bert.
You're advanced humor patch.
No.
You can't be in charge of giving those out.
Despite everything, despite our history,
I'm so happy to get it.
See, Denny walks over and he just has this patch on him.
I've been waiting some day for somebody to goof me and my sleep.
And the advanced humor patch walks over and pins the advanced humor patch.
It's an honor.
Please be a better person from now on. Bev, as you are here with Denny, go ahead and give me a perception check.
Getting these rolls out now, that's a three.
A three.
Bev, you see suddenly three wolves jump out of the nearby wilderness
and just jump onto Denny.
Whoa! Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh We're back up we're here fuck him up fuck him up. Oh my god. Oh No, fuck him up fuck him up. Oh, come on. They both are just like Terry
Stop what Luna call your boys. Oh, if you're boys now call my boys. Go on my boys. Yeah. Yeah, it's okay
It's okay. He's cool. He's cool. Well, he's not cool, but he's he's
Unequaintance right you see Luna pulls the wolves back
pulls the wolves back. He's just been like all bitten up and messed up. His PJs are all torn and fucked up and he's soaking wet.
Oh, well by lived. I need to go to the hospital. You thought that that was the
prank before, but that was actually the prank. You attacked me with wolves, Bev. Give me back your uber patch.
I see he passes out in the rain.
Luna goes, oh fuck, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that was your friend.
I can kind of like sense how you guys are feeling, like how like my friends are feeling
and stuff.
And I didn't want to go near those guys because they're up to something else.
What are they doing? What are they doing?
What are they doing?
Yeah, what are they up to?
Are they in danger?
How old are you?
16?
They were hanging out.
They were hanging out.
Cool, nice.
But you, I sensed some anticipation and danger and then just like a huge adrenaline spike.
So we came right away, assumed this was your enemy,
we got him.
We, mission accomplished Luna, we got him.
Yeah, no, this was just a goof gone wrong.
One in a long series I'd say.
Wow, goof's gone wrong.
All right, watch it.
Anyway, I found where Theala's headed tomorrow.
Hang on one sec, I touch hands,
Danny just didn't stay.
He touched hands, Danny.
Ah, I'm alive, but I wish I wasn't.
I need a hospital.
Same.
So what did you learn?
Yes, we found where the court of gods is we think.
I wouldn't have been able to find it without theala
collapsing the Iron Deep Mountains,
so it seems like she cleared a path for herself.
We found a collapsed entrance to some catacombs.
We poked around in there, and we found a gate.
There's a message in some ancient language.
I couldn't read it, and I couldn't get in,
but I just kind of felt in my bones
that that was the place.
All right, we need to tell my friends immediately.
We should probably go to them right now.
Yeah, what if we went to them in like 10 minutes
for moonshine and we could go to hard one if you want?
Okay, you're right, yeah.
moonshine, you know, I saw her with her mom.
She's probably having a big heart to heart. Let's go to hard one. Totally're right. Yeah, Moon Chin, you know, I saw her with her mom. She's probably having a big heart to heart.
Let's go to a heart want.
Totally, right.
Okay, so can they still fly?
Yeah, you see she pulls out some flying potions
and she hands one to you.
She goes, you can hop in my back if you want.
I'd much prefer that.
Save your potions, my friends.
She grabs a potion for herself, takes you on her back.
You see the other wolves, one of the other wolves
just looks up at Luna and goes,
I will take this little two legs and just grabs it
and just grabs Denny like callously,
like on the back of the neck as if he's a kitten.
I don't have a lot of skin there or fax there. That just this just hurts for me
Yeah, it's a prank. Ah you with Luna
Fly back up with the wolves and Denny you guys I'll say first you dropped Denny off at his house
You guys suddenly come down with a bunch of wolves and an extremely fucked up Denny
Just like collapses in front of his home and you see
Durlin and crann and a Gwayne and Balnor just like what happened man
The Frank took a left turn. Is he alive? Yeah barely. I got him. I managed to feather follow him. It's okay. Oh
I guess on the positive side, he was pretty dang spooked.
You see, Cran nods and goes, all right then, successful goof. We did it guys.
Let's remember, this time next year, we're having a jamboreen. This time next year.
I actually, I take the Advanced Tumor patch and I divide it between all of us.
Aw, it's a little bit more of a shred of it. You see, Dura-Living Cran are extremely
touched by this. So childish, this patch. It doesn aww. You see, Durham Living Cranner extremely touched by this.
So childish, this patch.
It doesn't go with my shirt at all.
And yet, I want it desperately.
You may have it so that you may give it to your children one day
when they pull a really weird bad goof.
You see they laugh.
And those guys will all take Denny back into the house
and patch him up.
And Luda goes, if you guys got a map or something,
I can mark off the spot,
because I'm not gonna be much help to you once you're inside.
You guys are beyond what me and my packer
capable of here.
Gotcha.
Again, hard ones are a map guy.
We should get to him right away.
I think just like expedite the process, you know.
All right, right. Let's get to hard one right away. The hard one, go ahead and roll a pure lock check.
Wait a second. He rolls, he has four sides. He rolls everything with advantage.
Hell yeah. Thank you. That is a 16. 16. All right, hard one. You and Shival are basking in the afterglow.
Lying in the moon lights under,
she's got like a pack that has like pelt's in it and stuff.
You guys are like laying out in the pelt.
Hey, would you like a little smoke?
Sure, yeah, I take a long drag and I say,
and the other thing about ducks
Yes, you guys all like ducks quite a bit
As you're as you're with shivu
Yeah, in this blanket like behind this tree
You suddenly see a bunch of wolves and Beverly adding directly to our serious printing
You know what I'd be lying if I said I didn't picture it happen it kind of like this
Well, I if you want to go join your friends, maybe I'll maybe the world won't end in the last year again
Hey, that sounds that sounds pretty solid to me
All right, hey, I've wanted the all of for me. Yeah, I will
All right, Thanks for the snog.
I really know how to close the loop on these things. There's a little boy than a snog, eh?
G-gives you a wink. Okay. Hard one.
Well, hey, you were literally just in time. Just in time.
Any second earlier, and it would have been weird.
Oh, thank goodness. Cool tint by the way.
Is that one of the morning kindings?
Did one of the wizards with that up for you?
I kicked the tent over so it barely doesn't see anything.
Ah yeah, under the tent now.
I am sorry, I thought you had left.
It's a fucking tint.
Amazing.
I'm just stuck on these peltes now.
It's gonna take me a minute to clear these.
Okay, I apologize.
Oh, Bev, look at that.
New shred of patch, let's talk about that.
I'm not gonna get anything else.
Oh, you notice.
Man, you know what, there's no time.
I wanna tell you all about it.
It's probably the most primo goof I've ever pulled,
but we've got bigger fish to fry.
Holy fish, that is.
And I gesture to Luna.
Luna, what's up?
Luna relays all the stuff that she told to Bev,
takes your map off of you and is able to mark
where the Court of Gods is in relation to the Iron Deep Mountains.
And hard one, you know this area well enough to know
that this is not where any mines are.
This is not in any kind of like civilized territory.
So this is something new.
Okay.
And you guys rush off to find moonshine.
Oh, real quick, just some housekeeping.
Can we say that what everything I did to Jaina was
Damn near religious and counts as a zealots trans
I
Would say yeah, yeah
Yeah, you see Jaina
Rolls to the side of you and goes, huh
Well
Yeah, absolutely should we
Well, yeah, absolutely should we yes, we should rejoin the party and whatnot right Well, I mean I'm yeah, it was a pleasure
Yeah, it seems though
You see you she blushes. Yes, well if you want to hang out and do that again anytime
You let me know
I will do that
Amina yeah is good to meet you
Sorry, I'm used to doing this when people are just mad.
Gina runs away
I'm used to doing this when people are just mad. And Jaina runs away.
I'm so cool.
Hard one, Bev, and the wolves run through.
You guys see Jaina sprinting in the other direction.
Oh, looking really pleased, right?
The hard part is the goodbye.
That's what they don't tell you.
I'm talking to hard one.
So you were a duck.
I was a lot of things.
That's what I was talking about. So you guys rejoined, so you were a duck. I was a lot of things.
So you guys rejoin and you guys are all together.
Boonshine.
Hey, hey everyone.
Boonshine, hey, damn, you're glowing.
Yeah, literally.
I mean, not as much as she is if you know what I mean.
Oh, I saw.
Oh, how old's all the bib will start howling
Bev laughs along we got a we got a map we got a map for you to paper real quick. Oh, okay. Yeah, let me peep that map
You look at the map. Yeah, you guys now know where the quarter the gods are and you guys know timeline wise that
The alla should be heading there tomorrow night
Tomorrow night you say tomorrow night is the 40th night
Interesting
All right y'all um
I guess I'm my
Star making preparations for
For this time to get serious.
I mean, are we doing this?
This is freaking crazy to be on the precipice
of either success or failure.
Yeah.
Sorry to put it like that.
Oh no.
It just feels weird.
We've had 39 days of waiting for this day to come.
And now here it is.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
How y'all feeling?
I actually feel a lot better after I've already got the cleanse.
Do you need any kind of greater restorations or anything like that, Balnor?
That might be helpful, yeah.
I'm still feeling a little under the weather, but if you got anything for me.
Bring it in, bring it in.
Balnor goes over, takes a knee.
Okay, I cast some great restoration on that.
Cast great restoration.
You see that Balnor was looking a little bit like
sweaty and like salo skinned
and now looks a little bit more like robust.
All right, back in it.
It's not a walking day anymore.
We're back in it with a hounds baby.
Oh, back in it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, back in it. Oh, you see all the wolves instantly start wrapping and going nuts.
I don't know where y'all figure yourself for the evening,
but it might be nice for old times
sake to tap it off with one big bed.
There's no other way.
It's a blind.
It's a blind.
You lead the way, moonshine.
OK.
You see that as you guys go off, Luna goes,
all right then, I don't think there's much else
I can do to help you guys, but best of luck.
Kick the alas ass.
We will.
I bark at her.
You know, my dad says that you're not supposed to dog it,
but the way you do it, I'd rather be doing nothing else.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, it, I'd rather be doing nothing else. Oh, oh!
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
See, all starts going crazy.
Nearby guards look super freaked out.
Not sure what they're supposed to do.
Luna salutes you guys, and she heads off.
And you see, all of these dwarves that are now ducks
that are partying, a bunch of the dwarves run up
and just like,
oh man wolves, let's drink with wolves, this is cool.
You see the wolf and the wolves just instantly join the party.
We should let them know that timeline
so that they're not literally sitting ducks tomorrow.
Oh, actually yeah, that technically could be.
It does last 24 hours if they want.
Wow.
That requires concentration, which I'll be honest.
I already dropped my concentration
back in the woods with you. You see there are dwarves that are just regular dwarves that
are pecking at each other with their faces and everyone is too drunk to know. You're not a duck
Nerman. You're no longer a duck. Yes I am skipping. It's a duck right counts. I'm a duck.
Shall we make camp head to bed?
Yeah, what are y'all thinking? One big bed on the stormboard or one big bed
and one of our fancy Morgan Codden's
magnificent mansion or one big bed in the dorm room.
See the carls there?
How about one big bed under the stars?
I think that sounds nice answer. That's right.
Yeah, I was hoping you'd say that.
You guys go over, you find a spot near the stormborne,
you guys camp for the night under the stars.
Okay, so I'm going to sleep for four hours,
like I'm just going to like cuddle up with everyone,
but then in the middle of the night,
I guess I can only cast one of these.
In the middle of the night, I'm going to wake up and just kind of rustle hard one a little
bit.
Hard one.
Yeah.
Hey, I just finished my trance, I think.
No, I think you're still in the middle of it, I do.
That makes sense.
You make a beautiful trance or though.
And then I'm gonna cast and tip it beyond him so that the spell attracts or repels creatures
of your choice. So angels are going to be repelled from hard one.
Okay. Wow.
Yeah.
So I...
So I...
So I think I just say, take care of yourself, okay?
You're very precious to me.
Mm-hmm.
It falls back to sleep.
I give them a little kiss on the cheek and then I just, I guess I go back to bed
because the other one is only eight hours.
Well, I think I just have one last sleep together.
Yeah.
Before the world changes forever.
I guess I can also, before my trance,
I'll make the hero's feast and some good berries,
and then I get my trance in.
So Moonshine, you go into your trance, you make your heroes feast, you have it ready
for everybody in the morning, you guys wake up in the sun rises.
Oh wow, oh my gosh, so many berries.
Oh yeah, everyone grab the good berries, remember to save them, okay?
Ballin' is already popped, but I'm trying to move it.
There's only 10 of them.
Oh, wow, my God.
I was making goodberry juice.
Is that what you're saying, honey?
Again, no, not how we use it.
Okay.
Help yourself to a hero's feast.
Your very smoothie could be pretty good, actually.
Yeah.
I think we finally earned this one.
So yeah, get to it.
I guess if you will let me I
Would like to cast and a spell then do my zealots trans
I would like to cast a ninth level spell then wow zealots. Yeah, great. Okay, then I'm gonna say um
Bev I put a little boon on hard one, but I don't want you to think I forgot about you.
So I'm going to cast a foresight on Bev.
So Bev, you have the ability to see into the immediate future for the duration.
You can't be surprised.
You have advantage on attacks, ability checks, and saving throws.
And other creatures have advantage on attack rolls against you.
I see the world laid out mathematically.
So many goofs, so many possibilities.
So many goofs, so little time.
Right.
Yeah.
Use it for good, not goofs, if you know what I mean.
Just this once.
I will.
So ideally, ideally, Bev will be having all these advantage on attacks and the angels will
be afraid of hard one.
Moonshine, how would you feel about a Boonswap?
I could do a Boonswap, yeah.
I lay hands on Moonshine and I cast Death Ward.
Woo!
That's great.
All right, everyone bring it in.
All righty.
You guys all hug.
And Balnor goes gang, if that was the last one big bed,
it was a good one.
Amen.
And hey, because we can never say it enough, Mochine.
Thank you for this breakfast.
Yeah, I mean, I did make it at,
I did make it four hours ago, so it has gone cold.
I went to do the dishes and they were already done.
I don't know.
That's a little nervous, so yeah.
I stayed up and I did the dishes.
Mochine, you see that?
Jaina is very formal.
She's left you like a thank you card.
Oh dear.
If we're all getting ready, there's maybe a couple more things I'd like to do just to
make sure that we have the best odds we can.
Is this your stand up act?
I like put away a note card I have in my hand.
No.
What?
What's the deal with the fun I spell?
Your dad ever tell you you're doggin' it and you're like,
Dad, but I love dogs.
No one laughs.
I'm bound to the founder of Cracks Up.
I hate doggin' it.
I would like to cast the ceremony spell,
which is a Xanathar's guide spell.
It's a first level thing where everybody can get a D4
to all their saving throws for the next 24 hours.
Oh my God.
It's called Dedication, Touch of Humanoid,
who wishes to be dedicated to your God's service
for the next 24 hours at a D4 to all saving throws
So in lieu of a God, I imagine it would just be the service of Bohumi itself. Well, yeah, yeah
and
I know this is maybe a little outside of my comfort zone, but I think for just this once I
Wanted to so bay my mom and I I pull out hard one sticking poke tattoo kit.
Holy shit.
We think in tight.
Go through my cabin.
We doing Titans tattoos?
We gotta do Titan Tats.
We're gonna do Titan Tats.
What do you guys think is out of Titan Tat?
I was thinking maybe just a little pillow.
Oh, this symbolized one big bed.
What about add just points of pillow? Oh, this symbolize one big bed. What about, I just point to Papa.
We're here.
Oh, Papa.
He got a little lost in all the party.
We're here.
He had a big night last night.
We're here.
He fought a duck and he won.
We're here.
He nods.
He's wearing a medal.
We're here.
That's impressive.
Wow.
Yeah, the dwarves really took to Papa last bear. That's impressive. Wow.
Yeah, the dwarves really took to Papa last night.
Papa's extremely hungover and is trying to pretend
that he's not.
Bear.
Flaming out, baby.
Flaming out.
Part one, you're the artist of the group.
Can you give us all little pop hot tattoos?
I don't know, can I?
I raised my shorts and I show everyone my quad
where I already have a pop-up tattoo.
It's so infected.
Wow, man.
By the way, can someone cast your wounds on this thing?
Wow.
I like padded as if I'm admiring that tattoo and cast touch hands.
Wow, look at that.
So big.
Wow, it really cleared up.
That was big.
You're resilient.
What can I say?
I draw a pop- Paw tattoos on everybody.
Not Paw Paw though, right?
He doesn't need one.
Bam!
Paw Paw still wants one.
Bam!
Yeah, give him one.
The boy wants one, give him one.
Sure.
Tattoo of your...
All right, where do you want it?
Bam!
Just like just...
Just do his body.
Bam!
He's tummy.
Bam!
He's got a big tattoo of a boss of him.
That's way, that's way, if it's on his tummy,
then if he grows, then it will still be to scale.
Oh, that's perfect.
All right.
If he gains weight, so will his tattoo.
Wait, can you add mode, all of them hard one?
Yeah.
I sure can't.
You guys all get pop-up tattoos including pop-up?
No matter what happens, guys, let's always work to keep being friends and to keep everything
we love safe, okay?
Yeah, I think we're gonna absolutely fucking destroy the all this fucking day.
That's right, yeah.
We're the freaking hounds.
That's so fucking stop-proof, I'm facing. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, with a big parade of people, but I'm thinking maybe we just kind of sneak out.
You suddenly hear a horn?
Oh!
Last throughout the city.
Oh no!
People of Blade Home.
My daughter, moonshine, siren, queen of the elves.
Oh!
People, and you say like that.
I never like that. And her party, the band of boobs,
AKA the Titans of Bohumia,
our heroes are off to face the God,
the Allah, and keep this planet safe.
And you hear cheers going up throughout the city
as the various citizens of Glade Home
and the super hungover dwarves come around.
You see, they seem to have procured ducks,
like got drunk during the night and went and grabbed some ducks
out of the water.
You see dwarves coming by and elves and a laddrin
and your friends, like Lucanis and Mima, Mama, Jena.
J-okay, Jena's there. I think I'm gonna maybe like do a little uh uh maybe do the
tuck the hair behind the ear and like a little little from sprout up.
Oh my god. Uh she shivers. Oh, didn't know I liked that but
now I do. I'm gonna try that on Shivalin.
Ha!
Can I use my spores to, like, from a distance make it happen?
Yeah, I have rapport spores.
Thank you.
Oh, you put a little bit of sheet in my hair.
It feels like being at home.
You should be honored.
You should be honored.
Can I do a perception check to see if I clock
and do these things?
Yeah, Bev, you can do an insight check.
That's an 18.
18?
Uh-huh.
Bev, you know, it's up.
Oh!
These guys were hooking up last night.
My head is on a swivel between both of them
and I'm just like, no!
What? Ah!
Like, just run over, I jump into hard ones hands.
Oh, keep it cool.
Founder Pat, some moonshine on the shoulder.
Oh, hey!
We were running around hanging out with Scoutmaster Danny, what the hell are we doing, Bev?
Hey, hard one, how did my little enchantments work for you last night?
I would have had to be a duck without it, so I really appreciate it.
So, yeah, you guys see, Shival says goodbye to hard one.
Hi, Yis, it'll be good to see you again.
Yis, yes indeed.
As long as we don't die, Yis?
Ah, alright, don't die because I'll go into a bit of a
righh. Okay, hey, yeah. You stay angry. Alright, stay angry. I'll come to that.
I'll just be here, steaming up, get me it.
Wayne, feed him. I like you when you're angry. That's right.
Uh, yeah, um, uh, Bev, your mom, um, gives you a kiss and says goodbye. And all your other friends, Cobb goes over,
gives you guys all a hug.
Hey, I'm proud of you guys.
You guys have kept it let so far, right?
Don't disappoint me.
Not the year before.
Predator handshake him.
Yeah.
Cobb Predator handshakes you.
And Bev, you see that a Gwayne goes up to you and gives you a hug and she goes, if you
can get Irland back, that would obviously make me very happy, but I want you to come back
to.
And I know that Irland wouldn't want you to sacrifice yourself or to put yourself in danger. So you come back to,
okay? You freaking idiot. I promise I'll do everything I can. You gigantic turd. She brings you in for a hug, gives you a dead arm. I give everyone right back.
Oh, the fuck.
You guys see Mimaw and Luconis and everyone.
Luconis and Mimaw run over and both Gush over Munchan.
You're gonna make me so proud, baby.
Oh, and you know what, I think you're about to wrap it.
Pride of the elves.
You see, Luconis keeps opening up to everyone.
All right, it doesn't mean so much to you people. Yeah, I'm Queen of the elves. You see Lucana skips opening up to everyone Alright, it even means so much you people. Yeah, I'm queen of the elves. I'm proud of you
Excel C-R!
Excel C-R indeed.
All the other elves yell out Excel C-R.
Strange people
And as the cheers as the cheers go up around the city and your friends and family bid you farewell
You all get on to the stormborne
Head out from the safe barrier of the city. I think as soon as we get on
We're like have all these like plastered smiles on from like like leaving from like saying like oh it's gonna be good
Thank you so much. Thank you so much I think as soon we get on as we get on I turn to them and I absolutely
drop my smile and a look of sheer terror comes across my face and that's where
we'll end our session. Oh beautiful babies.. Wow, wow, we, wow, wow, wow. Congratulations, y'all. You
fucked in D&D. Yay! You guys done did it. Keith and Jaina. I know that. The two people
have been living in D&D. I know what happened. I think moonshine just went down on Jane for a while. Oh my God, okay. Okay, Munchan got nothing in return.
I think she only knows how to give.
And just because I know there will be threads about it,
she will mention to Snog, which is just making out,
but whatever happened that you all wanted to happen,
she was into hard one.
If you guys hooked up, you guys hooked up.
Yeah, I'll never tell.
I will tell.
Oh yeah, we got that.
I brought Jane into ecstasy.
Sweet guys, thank you guys so much for listening
to our penultimate episode.
Crazy.
That's going to be the last.
Amazing.
Long rest that the band of boobs have.
Oh, I'm going to show how crazy is that? Oh boy, okay gang. Well,
next week, as we said at the announcement at the beginning of the show, we're not going
to have a regular episode on Thursday. We're going to be streaming it on Saturday. We're
going to be posting another official announcement. So be on the lookout for that, and be prepared to watch it Saturday night.
We're thinking 5 p.m. Pacific time, 8 p.m. Eastern.
That work for us, I think.
That's what we're gonna do.
Great. Yeah, I'll be around.
Yeah, we're gonna do that.
Yeah.
Probably make it.
Cool. Does anybody have anything else to plug?
Our, we have a whole bunch of new shirts and stuff
in the, oh, yeah. We got a bunch of new shirts and stuff in the, oh yeah.
We got a bunch of new shirts and stuff in the store.
A Maverick shirt, a Scrumper shirt.
Scrumper, the Papa Plot Armor shirt,
ton of good stuff, and it's all fresh.
It's all up there right now.
Go grab it.
I think it's shop.nadpod.com.
Yeah, correct.
Check it out, guys.
Awesome.
Cool.
And then follow us on Twitter at CHMurf is me,
at Call of Duty is called, well,
at the Extra Desemoli and at Jake Herwitz is Jake,
and you can tweet about the show using hashtag,
nadbath, that's n-a-d-d-p-o-d.
We are your we are... ...the nation.
And now it is time to thank our benevolent council of elders.
We've got Brad D. Dillon B. Danny P. Steelbreaker and Samuel B.
Bubbles the Bonecats Brothers and Sisters.
Not one of this critter litter was able to live a second life as a skeleton, but Jay
Lom is actually did come back as a hairball for a little bit, so that was good.
Beardman Dan, Adam R, Danielle the Dastardly Dam, Alucard, and the Undead incinerator.
Crick Bullywanks, who have been crossbreeding with Nantaflis and the grandma tree, honestly
their offspring is going to have enormous, terrifying, yet perfect teeth.
Haldr Frostback, Jordan DJ Jeffree S, Cutter W, and Andrew M. Pendergreens, new troll friends,
now that they're not filled with, but less they are actually pretty rad.
So rad that they're actually thinking about, starting band, even though they all play
drums, but that's going to be fine. Shoebert the mushroom, Alaina C, Michael McD,
the head mixologist, Victor T. Boundor, Bounder's boy,
and Michael C, a bunch of frost dwarves who are still ducks,
but are way too happy about it,
because they're just living that mallard life,
and they're not going back, okay?
Justin I, Jacob C, Alaina M, Dana G, and Paul G,
the team of scribes that Dana has enlisted
to copy an incredibly verbose love letter to Moon Shine that she has not stopped dictating,
not even to take a breath.
And Dana G is seriously considering sabotaging the endeavor so Dana can just save a little
face there.
I recommend that.
Daniel R. Destancy, Tribe G, David T and Aaron,
Sully, Luna's Wolfpack, Fierce, Loyal, Love's Party.
Also, David T fully took off one of Denny's fingers,
and it is stuck in their molar.
Cider Geo Salazar Salamon Sakurai as Desesuani,
Michael L, Traleigh the Kray Faye, Jori S and Matt M,
Cordone's team who helped him make over the cabin
of the SS Stormborn.
They all hung hard ones most tasteful pieces and ultimately had to burn some of the
really fucking deviant ones.
Adam H. Ryan, Angel B, Kelvin Noodles, and Chris are a group of ducks that were super confused
by all the Dwarven ducks crowding their pond.
You gotta snap your bill on those guys.
Richard X Machina San L Troy McSee drew nasty Nick W. Some nannier flies that survived the
apocalypse in the Grammetry and had been procreating at a rate that would make moonshine proud.
Josh S. Nicholas C. Austin C. Kristen P. and Axel A. Gwain's PR team, who walked her through the apology
to Bev then watched in awe as she ignored
all of the advice they gave.
Mike H. Matthew E. Katherine S. Shadow and Stefaniku.
The Glade Home Drugstore where Jaina bought her
post hookup thank you card.
Turns out Glade Home has a whole section devoted
to post hookup stationary. Very cool Turns out Gladehome has a whole section devoted to post hookup stationary.
Very cool.
I gotta go shopping there.
If only I knew how to read.
TJM, the Nombar Barion,
Trastotraveler,
Robert F Hunter, LR, and Frankie.
Cranon, Durland's, Rugby team.
That is right, you didn't know they play Rugby,
but they do.
Zolo, Dolow, Nick B.
Burley, T. Panama, James, I am the atlas.
The manufacturers of the advanced humor patch.
It is a great honor, woven in silk and gold, and they only make one a year.
They were absolutely horrified when Bev ripped it in four.
You have to return that, but Colton B. J. C. C. Lulu, Aiden, R, H, and Dave H,
Luna's flying werewolf pack,
who deaf all have matching shirts that say,
when dogs fly.
Timmy R, J, Dragonborn, Zack, C, Joseph A, and Grace G,
the tag team champions of the Dwarven Duck Wrestling Federation.
These mallards absolutely pack the competition.
Lucas B, Jordan L, Talley X Mateo C.
And Kazmir, the all-knowing, a bunch of craven pebblepots who were visiting Denny Wimbve
attempted his goof within 30 seconds of Denny jumping out the window.
They declared him dead, stole all of his belongings and ran.
They can't help it.
It is in their blood.
They're not to blame. Kaylee Elise Barnesinator Christian A. Yens Christian T. and Luke H. The only other
green teens besides Bev who have earned the advance humor patch. They got it by kidnapping
their scout master and throwing them into a volcano as a goof.
Devon W. Chenua B. Jared E. Persephone and Eric McDee, a nice family that was having a picnic.
Hard one and shivvelled did their business behind a nearby tree.
Hard one has been reported to the Glade Home Police and is currently wanted for Indies
and Exposure.
Very nice.
Reese and S. Big Bad John and Eric and Andrea B. Jonathan O. and Austin MR, a crew of
dwarfs who against all odds odds retained their duck form after the
animal shape spell ended.
They will spend the rest of their days waddling and quacking the dream of every dwarf in Iron
Deep.
Steven C Maxwell C Mike K Omri M and Caleb L the Crick Bullywugs who run Mayor Joe's
re-election campaign.
Crick elections are decided by Rasslin,
so they pretty much just go around kicking everyone's ass.
Scott D, Mick O'Me, Dan, The Red Rain, and Sir Slim.
The Kakao impersonators that were hired by Jaina
for Hard One's party, you didn't think that was actually Kakao, did you?
Nope, just five extremely convincing Crowe body doubles.
What the fuck, that's not that's not fucking true
Richard C. Caron T. Curtis S. Nathaniel P. and Nikki W.
Kaka's friends on his travel Kaka made many pals each one more generous than the last offering food and shelter
But no one could offer Kaka what hard one does unyielding love and attention. Wow, that's really nice
I didn't even write that one.
I think someone else did.
I feel like Merfrotha one, but that's cool.
That was really nice.
I have him to say.
Andrew B, Christopher B, Nicholas B, Kevin M, and Rahul N,
the only other green teens to have their advanced humor patch.
They got it when they pushed their scout master
into a troubled ocean from an airship.
Epic goof, wow, very similar.
I didn't steal it.
Maribel, the Kitty Morphing gnome, Joe McGee, Meta Amps, Atticusy, and Amy W. The only
Iron Deep dwarves who kicked Nermans ass in his wrestling matches.
Also, the only people Nermans fought in his wrestling matches.
Eric G. Michelle O. Gage M.
Number 1, Beverly Lynn Fan Gen R. and Fel Donas,
Nannerflies and the Grandmatchery who are gathering Oppo Research on Mayor Joe. Turns out Joe
has some skeletons in his jar, folks. Brittany B. Eric F. Redneck Ruff, Christian S. and Jack L.
Tonithin's personal trainers. You might be surprised, but Jonathan doesn't spend all his time studying. In fact, he is training the legs and the core.
So he can be the one to do this scooping.
You gotta lift with your legs, kids.
Y Greck32, Michael K.M. Tingle the Bard, S.M.M. Ben A. and New York witnesses who saw the
jaw jaw, eaguin fight.
And so unfortunately for Bev, eaguin really didn't exaggerate that much about kicking Jaw Jaw's ass.
Colting K, Spurs Guy 69, Keith K, Emilio D, Garithy Ok and Temporal.
Shiblin's clan of very Ipsi barbarians, quite mad. They're in a rage.
You better stay active, they way, you'll get it ticked.
Yess. Yess Yes! Thanks folks!
That was a headgun podcast.