Not Another D&D Podcast - Tortle Tank: I'm In, Therefore, I'm Out (w/ Zac Oyama)

Episode Date: November 8, 2024

Welcome to Tortle Tank, the show where the world's richest reptiles review your D&D homebrew and decide whether or not to invest their hard-earned eggs. This week, shellebrity guest Zac Oyama joins the Torts as they hear pitches about utilizing expended spell slots, finding advantage in disadvantage, and the power of training montages. Let's dive right in!Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Zack is famously always said glug glug glug on turtle tank. We've done this a million times 15,000th Tortle Tank. We're on season 65. Yes. No. I do feel like, wait, Zack is like the business turtle that is like so impressive that he barely even has time to come. Oh, okay.

That's his character. Yeah, yeah. Completely bald, big head, really severe eyebrows, three piece suit. This season on Tortle Tank, things are getting real. So yeah, so we haven't done Tortle Tank in a while. Just so for everyone to know, if you haven't seen our posts on Patreon or on Instagram, but Caldwell and his wife Susanna have been expecting a baby.

A baby came a little bit earlier than expected, but everybody is healthy. The Wolf Tanner clan is doing well, but that's kind of thrown our schedule off a bit. We will give you more updates as we have them. But for now, we are very thankful that Zack Oyama has decided to join us for a total tank here. And shed his business acumen.

And my old shell, wait, I feel like, yeah, I think they changed shells. No, that's more of a snail thing, I think. No, no, no, these tortles though, because we need to keep things new and fresh. We get a new shell every year. My shell gets buffed, shined. And with that, why don't we throw to our turtle announcer,

Jake Hurwitz, who I believe has a prepared intro. Shell-o-catchlings! And welcome to Turtle Tank, the show where we make our snap turtle judgments on your homebrew outside the box turtle ideas. With me today are shell-mily Axford, Brian Surfy, and celebrity guest, Zach snapping turtle attack Oyama. Let's dive in. Snapping turtle attack? Walk me through.

Zach attack, snapping turtle attack. Oh, wow. That's actually really good. Zach snapping turtle attack. Wow. Yeah, I wish I could say that I didn't spend a lot of time on it, but I actually did. I feel like just snapping Zack Oyama would've worked or something like snapping Zack.

I like how you did it. Like though it is a lot on the tongue, it still does roll off of the tongue. It's not gonna work for my eggs, but I'm glad you guys are willing to invest. I mean, in fairness, I think I also read it pretty badly. But let's dive right into the tank. Our first idea comes from Nate L.

Nate L. writes, Tortles, may I present charged spells? Let's say you're fighting a big bad. It's been seven rounds of combat and you're running low on spell slots. The BBEG seems like they have a good chunk of health left and all you have is a third level spell. You can begin to cast a spell with a casting time of one action and instead of casting at that turn, you can choose to hold it until your next turn.

The spell acts as a concentration spell. On your next turn, you can cast the spell and add an extra three D6 plus your spell casting modifier to the damage or you can hold it again until your next turn. That's actually kind of interesting right because if you had some sort of bonus action economy right you could still be helping out on the field rather than doing the 3d6 I wonder if it's just like next level higher next level higher so you could almost be I kind of like it I don't like the 3d6 but I like the idea of charging up the spell.

Yeah. It's kinda fun that it has a balance to it and that you are kind of more of a target when you're doing that and you don't really get to do much. So it's like, kind of adds to the benefit. You're right. Because there's a concentration aspect

that if you got hit, you would lose the spell that you were charging. Yeah. And then you could potentially lose, like have wasted multiple turns. It's a huge risk. Does the benefit outweigh that risk? That must be why they said- Like you might just lose,

your turn might just fizzle. I guess it's like getting counter-spelled. Yeah, it's got a sort of a Dragon Ball Z aspect to it, which I do like. And the reason it's the spirit. Yeah, I know, I got that. I feel like the visual of it is what's selling me the most. Summoning the spirit bomb.

What's shelling me the most. Or spirit bomb. Certainly. Yeah. Yeah, I think this idea, I think you need to pump this up more, I feel like the visual of it is what's selling me the most. Summoning the Spirit Bomb. What's shelling me the most. We're Spirit Bombing. Certainly. Yeah, I think this idea, I think you need to pump this up more because I do agree with Shelmily Axford. Shelmily, yeah. One of our favorite tortles over here.

That 3D6 is probably not worth it. Although this does sound like a last resort for spell casters that are pretty much out of spells. Yeah, right. Right. I mean, 3d6 is better than if you just did a level up of the spell for most in most case scenarios. So actually, this person is rewarding the holding of the the charge up more. Yeah, I think that you could reward it even more, I would argue. I think you could do like max damage or something like that. Like you don't roll damage or something like that.

Or you treat it like a crit or something. Because it is, you're taking two turns and to cast one spell and you might, might lose it. They might save, you might miss. You know what I mean? If you're shooting a fireball, right? There's like a deck save to that.

So like 3d6 or something, the difference in that is gonna be like five damage if they save. I think just to throw it out there, you know, again, this is Zach snapping a turtle attack. Zach snapping turtle attack. Pretty weird. Zach snapping turtle attack.

I say we up the stakes even more. Oh my God, you're crazy for this one. You're crazy. If you get hit and you break concentration, the spell should go off on you. Oh. Oh. Oh, I like that.

That's cool. Yeah, super charging. I think I do like the narrative aspect of I'm concentrating on a spell. Cool, yeah, super charging. I think I do like the narrative aspect of I'm concentrating on a spell, that means that I'm actually out for this turn. Yeah, yeah, I like the little lightning bolts coming out of you sort of Krillin

at the beginning of Saiyan Saga when he's upset that Yamcha's died and he says that he's boiling. And then everyone else is like, okay, we gotta protect them. Yeah. Right, huddle around your caster. That's so sick, that'll add so much spirit bomb energy,

which we're really looking for. Well, that's such a, that though, is such a heightening of the stakes on one side, that I'm like, do we need to heighten the stakes on the other side? I think it becomes a crit. I think it becomes a crit if it hits. And so like, with, so with Fireball, let's use Fireball. You could do 16d6.

You could do 16d6. You could do 16d6. I think that's completely fair. Oh my God! Because it's balanced. Play justice for us people. Is it balanced? It is because of what our celebrity guest has just thrown out there.

There is a chance that it works. Not exactly. Attack of Yama. There's a chance that it works against you and no matter what, you have to spend two turns doing it. So that's not really overpowered to be able to cast two third level spells over two rounds. Just like in business, you assume a lot of risk,

then you should get to reap the rewards. I have a question though. Does this turn into, because that reward is so great and because if your party's all healthy, they'll be able to protect you. Does it just turn into move one? I'm gonna try and get a Spirit Bomb off. Sounds sick, sounds completely sick.

And I'm gonna do fifth level, I'm gonna do my highest level spell. Honestly sounds like a really fun way to run combat. It sounds like an absolutely sick way to run combat is people just trying to hit the one person who's charging it up. Right, you're like our berserker, bring you right into the middle of a room.

Well, it's literally, I feel like- Everybody lets you charge and then run away. I feel like what we've come up with though is like a one-off thing. That's like a one-off encounter in which this is the rule. But I don't know that this works long-term. I think it does though, because I think as soon as it blows up in their face,

literally, and it's a risk. So you decide if you wanna do that that it's not always going to be worth locking into one thing for two rounds like the battlefield changes if you're not running your combat so things change uh then i'm not chortling over here this tortling chortling the no chortle tortle yeah i think i would put my eggs in for like a single encounter, but I feel like what we've come up with would be too powerful. And I think it would get gamed. I think I think two rounds to do one spell even with a crit and with the chance of blowing it up on on yourself. I think this is not overpowered. I'm going to say for a 75% stake

in your deal and being willing to split that 75% stake with our celebrity guest, Zach Snapping Attack. Snapping Turtle Attack. Snapping Turtle Attack, yeah. Snapping Turtle Attack, oh yama. It's not confusing. And now that I hear it more, it's actually making more and more sense.

It's really not. Every single time I hear it, it just makes absolutely more and more sense. That's also one of your nicknames is, it's not confusing. Zach snapping journal attack, it's not confusing. Ohama. I'm here to up the ante.

If you're willing to work with us, I'm willing to work with you. I want every combat to be Piccolo charging the special beam cannon while Goku holds Raditz. Wow. Interesting. charging the special beam cannon while Goku holds Raditz. Wow. Interesting, so I'm actually, we talked ourselves back into, so that I now think that their original prompt was more realistic, however, it is lacking pizzazz for me to invest my eggs in it,

so I'm gonna put my eggs on ice. Okay, my eggs are in, Zach, how are you feeling? I mean, the question is, does this scale, right? There you go. Battle to battle, does this scale, right? There you go. Battle to battle, does it scale? Does it scale? I mean, do we want this everywhere, or do we want this, is this just sort of a boutique

experience, is this sort of a- I think it's a boutique experience, personally. A boutique encounter experience. I feel like it has its place in combat as a strategic use. I think it's got enough of a downside that I don't think people will overuse it. What if you restricted the amount of times you could do it a day or gave them exhaustion

after they did it? I like that. I like the exhaustion. That's perfect. Exhaustion feels good. That's gonna give people the confidence to add it to their game. It's a little less. Okay, so we're making a lot of changes to this now,

so at this point I am gonna need a 90% stake that I will be splitting with the other turtles. But you're gonna want Surfy's stinkums. Yeah. 90%, that's, you're giving, it's 10% of a much larger pie, so I think that's a good thing for this turtle. Surfy still gets 10.

Yeah. Yeah, well, Surfy gets 90 for this turtle. Surfie still gets 10. Yeah. Well, Surfie gets 90. Sorry, I forget who Surfie is. Yeah, yeah, no, I'm taking the 90. That's me, I'm Surfie. We're not talking, yeah, we're talking about the turtles, not the hatchlings here. There is no Brian Murphy, there is only Brian Surfie.

Or Brianan, how about that? Oh, that's good. Brianan Surfie. He doesn't call me Brianan Surfie. So I'm in for, let's say, 14 eggs, and that's gonna be for 90% ownership of this Hatchlings company here. That's huge.

I look forward to trying to convince you to let Kaliope do this on a smite. Hey, if Kaliope wants to take two rounds off to do one thing, and maybe lose a little. You're right, because she can usually attack three times with her bonus action too. By all means, by all, that's what I'm saying. This isn't overpowered. I wouldn't end up using it.

Yeah, I think this is cool. Okay, then so sold. Our next submission comes from Matt McKay. Matt writes, oh great tortles, are you tired of your superhero like characters still never getting better at stealth or nature? Now you can. Oh. Because I present the training montage.

In between books, acts, arcs, this allows a player to add up to one D4 to any skill. The player describes a training montage to the DM, say who you're working with, what you're doing, how you're getting better. The DM then sets a DC based on that description and the player rolls a check of the skill they want to improve. If they beat the DC by less than five, you can add 1d2. If they beat the DC between five and nine, add 1d3. If they beat the DC by 10 or more, add 1d4. The better the description,

the better story you tell, the lower the DC will be. With this brilliant and inventive tool, your PC isn't stuck sucking, they can improve. I mean, I think I love this. However, I do think that you're being too generous. I do think the D4 is a little arbitrary. I think, yeah, I kind of think that this is more of a level up thing.

When you level up, you can choose a skill that you want to improve Yeah, maybe increase a proficiency or even just increase it by one or or increase it by a d4 or something like that Because I feel like every long rest you are just gonna make some well, I don't know that it's every long rest, right? I think the idea would just be between arcs and stuff, right? Okay, then your head is in the right place. I think you only get to do it like once. I would think the character only really gets to do it once, maybe twice. Yeah, I'm saying between arcs.

Scratch everything I said. I think it's cool, it's a way to have characters, develop more character, like characterize themselves by encouraging role play and by being like, this character is gonna go off into the woods and train, or they're gonna work on their swordplay, or they're gonna work on this. Because it is kind of arbitrary as you're leveling up

and you're getting more strength and you're getting more skills and everything. It is weird that you're kind of stuck with the proficiencies that you have from the beginning, unless you take a specific feat. You theoretically should be able to get good at other stuff. I do think it should be limited to skills. Yes, yeah, yeah.

Because there are, you know, your stats have ways of going up. That's what happens when you level up. Yeah. I would maybe tie something like this to proficiency bonus. That way it goes up with how you level, although that's tough too, because proficiency bonuses get pretty high. So the idea of like upping something by three

or something is kind of- I think I like the idea of divorcing skills from the ability a little more, because the fact that you're the same amount of good at perception and insight, I mean, I guess that, well, that tracks way more, but there are some that it's like, it's arbitrary that you're the same amount of good

at certain things if you don't have proficiency. At like Arcana and history or something like that. Yeah, exactly. It's like, just because you know a lot about this town or something doesn't mean you know a lot about spells or vice versa. And it also is just like, it acknowledges that your character

has probably been making choices since they originally chose their proficiencies that are creating new interests in the character. This reminds me of something from, I don't remember all of the mechanics of when we played Pathfinder, but there was something in Pathfinder that had more levels to this.

It's like when you're familiar with something, you're proficient in something, you're a master at something, and it would go up and up and up. And that I thought was a very cool system, and it allowed for characters to be kind of more robust and have more interests and have more things that they know. So I think this is cool and kind of lends to that. What is keeping my eggs back right now?

Yeah, keeping your eggs in the basket. Keeping your eggs in the basket. Keeping my eggs in the basket. The eggs are staying in the fridge. I think this is something we're gonna need to figure out together, me and this hatchling, is what do we do about this D4? Cause it feels arbitrary, right? This idea that you'd have a montage

and then get four better at athletics seems wild. That's something that happens when you get plus two strength. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that, I agree with you that I think it was being a little too generous. That's something that happens when you get plus two strength. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think that, I agree with you that, I think it was being a little too generous. I feel like this could just be,

you don't even need to roll for the stats. I like the idea of you doing a skill check based on, I think you keep everything the same. You describe the montage, that determines the skill check. And then based on how you do on the skill check, I would say with a success, you add one and with like incredible success or a crit or something, you add two.

What about with a really bad, what about on a nat one? I would say zero. You get slightly worse. I think you just waste your time. You're right, cause you wouldn't, it's like if you, well, I guess you could practice wrong and learn bad skills, but that seems a bit extreme. Right, bad habits.

You're learning tennis, but with the wrong grip. Yeah. You're gonna get destroyed on the court. You're learning to stealth, but only with bells on your shoes. Right, yeah, you have squeaky feet. Squeaky tennis shoes. I think the D4 of it all has really just held my eggs back.

Oh yeah, wow. The Zack snapping turtle attack, it's not confusing Oyama. His head is going into his shell. Whoa. Fully. I'm in and therefore I am out. Wow. Yeah.

I do like that as a catchphrase. Yeah. Yeah, for me, I think there's a lot of DM discretion around just how you describe the montage. It's almost too arbitrary. It's like how you describe the montage is how you set the DC, and then it's still just a random role

that's gonna dictate whether you get one, you know, like a bonus. I think for me, my head is also in my shell, and therefore I am out. I think I'm willing to collaborate. I'm gonna put forward one slightly cracked egg. Okay. And say like, hey, can we-

Low ball offer. I know. And I think I'm gonna say like, I really liked the idea, but like maybe we lose the default of it all. And maybe rather than being contingent on how well did they describe a montage, maybe it's more like, you know, it doesn't necessarily have to be a montage.

Like what is that player investing in? Does it make sense for the character? And I think then it's like, maybe you even just boost it by one. I think we can all agree that the D4 is a mess, right? We all agree. I think, okay, now we're weighing in too hard on the D4. The D4 has to go. We all agree the D4 is a mess. Right? We all agree. I think, okay, now we're weighing in too hard on the D4. The D4 has to go.

We all agree the D4 has to go. The D4 is a non-starter. The D4 is an absolute non-starter for the Tortles. The D4 is a disaster. But I will say, I actually don't mind the DC based on the description, because this reminds me a lot of inspiration, which I think is not bad.

I think encouraging players to describe what they're doing, to get more into their characters, to be like, if it's a fighter or something and they wanna learn history, describing their fighter going into the library or like working with a tutor or something, that's very cool. And that will lend to more interesting things down the line.

Oh, I think I'm just saying like, yeah, describe what your character does, but it doesn't need to rigidly be a montage because some people might just like not think that way. I think you can also maybe set a DC and have one B for one point in the skill and one B for two point in the skill and have them roll with advantage

if they describe their montages being very cool and they decide to spend a lot of downtime with it. That's clean, dude. Yeah. That's clean. I almost want like a downtime pool of points you could possibly add to this. Yeah. Oh, that's interesting.

Whoa, but would it be shared amongst the party? See, that's more interesting to me. Yeah, that's more interesting to me. Downtime pool of points that you can add to a certain role if you want to later on. Yeah. So just sort of because of the D4 of it all, I am gonna join Shelmily Axford and lowball you.

So I'm gonna put a cracked egg in. Emily and I are gonna split, let's say 99%. Yeah, we're gonna split 99%. Damn, Brynan, that's salty. Yes, because we have to rebuild this from the D4, which is just. Your investment is also your time. I know, that's kind of what I'm saying.

That's kind of what I'm saying. We're starting from the ground floor here with the D4. Because do you know how long it's gonna take to get that D4 out of this playoff? Right, because that's all people are thinking about right now. It's baked in. We have to bring in a fake tank into the Tortle tank to extricate that D4.

So if you're willing to work with us, we're willing to work with you to salvage this, because I do think there's something there. Okay, great. So, sold. Our next idea comes from Jester the Cleric. Jester writes, Tortles, I come bearing a potion "'that takes after Murph's heart.'" Oh.

I think they mean Cerf's heart. Wow. "'Night is a rare potion "'that is the world's strongest energy drink. "'It was originally created by gnome alchemists "'so that they could spend more time working. "'This potion is dark blue and purple "'with an iridescent shimmer and has a lemony aftertaste.

Oh my God, I love the way they're describing this. Upon consumption of the potion, the drinker gains the benefits of a long rest immediately. For the next five days, the drinker does not require sleep and finds that if they do try to sleep, their mind simply won't let them. As such, every 12 hours that pass while under the effect of the potion,

the drinker gains the benefits of a long rest. The drinker has disadvantage on all wisdom and intelligence checks, but has advantage on all strength and dexterity checks. The drinker's speed is also increased by 30 feet. Because of the extreme energizing nature, after the five days have passed, the drinker passes out for 24 hours straight

and cannot be woken up by any means other than a wish spell. All I ask for is one sunny side up egg for a 33% stake in my company. Wow. Okay. So the terms are set. I do like that they came with terms. I love the vibes here, but this is a little too complicated right off the bat because what I love about this is the sort of parody of what real life energy drinks do to the body. So I'm out as soon as this is for five days because I'm like, where's the parallel there? This is already-

And just to ask out, therefore in or in, therefore out? Oh, I'm in, therefore out. I am in, for out right now, but I might be out there for in if we chat this out a little bit. Because again, love the vibes. He's peeking out of the shell. I'm peeking out of the shell right now.

Getting a long rest instantly is enough of a boon. You don't need to have this extend forever. If it was one day, would it be interesting? Because they do have this every 12 hours, you get the benefits of a long rest, right? So it's was one day would it be interesting because they do have this every 12 hours you get the benefits of a long rest Right, so it's basically one day in which you get to have two long rests in one day I don't even know why you need that. Why not just have it be the energy drink gives you a long I don't think you've ever played in one of your own campaigns, but you would just But if you got a long rest I get what you're saying that I've whittled down

your resources or whatever, but if you guys got one long rest, that would give you your spell slots back. Right, this is what the Duttle Potion was, right? The Duttle Potion, the reason that was a mistake and for anyone at home who forgot or Zach, if you haven't heard campaign one. Are we gonna re-litigate the Duttle Potion?

The Duttle Potion was an item that I gave them to give them an instant long rest and that was for story purposes so that they would immediately go to the next thing. You could keep moving. But instead they just saved it. And so they just had these overpowered things that gave them a long rest.

When did we end up using them? Way later, I don't remember exactly. But getting a long rest from a potion, that's enough. We don't have to do any of this. Every 12 hours, there's a long rest. Five days, you can't sleep. We don't need to do any of that. Just one long rest per drink.

You have disadvantage on everything. And then maybe you get a level of exhaustion even after you sleep the next time, because energy drinks are bad for you, you had bad sleep and you know. Yeah. Now, what do you think about the the advantage on strength and dexterity? I don't get that. Disadvantage on.

I don't understand that. I feel like I'm more mentally sharp when I have chugged a five hour energy. Well, I guess I think intelligence maybe it works, but like the wisdom, right? It's kind of like, I do think that- Wisdom I could see not, yeah. Yeah, I could see like getting super caffeinated. I guess I'm comparing it to other drugs of being like, you feel like you're smarter,

but you're not necessarily- I would say, I would say strength and intelligence and then dexterity and wisdom were bad. Cause I feel like you're strong, but not that coordinated when you're hopped up on one of this is see this again This is making me go in to be out again because this is all just complications It's enough you get all of your spells back. That's the bonus The disadvantage is that you don't actually have mental clarity. You didn't sleep so you're tired, but you're so you're saying it's only for a caster

Then what could I take it as a fighter? I mean, you get your action surge back, you get all of your hit points back, you get all of your hit dice back. The counterpoint would be, I like the narrative of, okay, we're going to do something really physical and we're willing to sacrifice some of our other skills to get advantage on strength, to get advantage on constitution, let's say.

Yeah, this to me is- I like the advantage on checks for me. This is D4 all over again over here. I'd love to jump in and just sort of take my head out of the shell in A4. Yeah, you really kept it in there for a while. I was a little spooked, I was a little scared. But I just wanna say,

I think we could retool this a little bit as well. I think if it was something like you get some spells back or some short rest stuff back and then you can't sleep that night or something like that, you know, like truncate the experience. Maybe it's like benefits of a haste spell sort of for a little bit or something. That's interesting.

Haste spell, that feels more one-to-one to me. Right, haste in a bottle. Bottled haste. I do like the idea that you can't sleep that night, right? So you get a long rest, but then you can't sleep that night. So you basically are like, cool, I have to do something tonight and tomorrow's fucked.

Right, yes. And so then you have to kind of like basically be like, if you're going and being like, we have an objective, you gotta finish it tonight. Yeah, and then I think you could do something like to mirror the real life effects of energy drinks. You could be like, you're under the effects of the Haste spell for like two hours,

and then you have a level of exhaustion or something. And then you start like kind of tweaking and feeling nauseous. Right, and then the next day you kind of feel like, damn, I could use another one of those. Yeah, and you're like, is this just a cycle of caffeination in which I am subject to myself too? Maybe this is just how I should live, I guess.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So from a business perspective, I'm in, I'm out, and then I'm therefore I'm in. Okay. Wow, you're okay. I think this is gonna require a little too much tweaking, so I'm in, therefore I'm out. The thing I like about it is the most is I like throwing a grenade into your campaign that you don't know

how it's gonna work against you. Yeah. So that is interesting to me, but I feel like I'm not compelled enough. I feel like some of the changes we're talking about it is making it feel like less of a grenade to me. And so therefore I'm in, therefore I'm not compelled enough. I feel like some of the changes we're talking about it is making it feel like less of a grenade to me. And so therefore I'm in, therefore I'm out. No, no, no, wait, which?

I'm in, therefore I'm out. Okay, so you're out. I'm in, therefore I'm out. Oh, I thought you were speaking positively on it. I was saying I like the idea. I kind of like the getting advantage on some checks and disadvantage on others. Right.

So you're out there for your in. No, I'm in there for my out. No, but you're saying positive stuff. Right, but I'm a business tortle and I'm hearing a lot of the hesitations from my fellow tortles. The market is confused. And so I'm sort of feeling like I actually don't know, I don't know how to market this

because clearly people have different objectives. Okay, so you're in, therefore you're out. I'm in, therefore I'm out. Zach. I'm out, therefore I'm in. Was originally in, therefore you are out, but now you are out, therefore you are in. I hope that clears things up.

And I'm out, therefore I'm in. I enjoy taking substances in campaigns. Yeah, yeah. I did it in campaign one with Arkane. I think it's great. So I'm out slash in. Yeah, I do love substances in campaigns. Okay. I did it in campaign one with Arcane. I think it's great. So I'm out slash in. Yeah, I do love substances in campaigns. Maybe I could contribute the yolk

and you can contribute the white of one egg that we could fry sunny side up. What do you guys? I have no problem doing that. Sorry, Zach, Snap and Turtle Attack. What are you gonna do with your egg white that you don't use and snake her wits or what are we calling you?

Garden snake her wits. Garden snake her wits. What are you gonna do with the yolk that you don't use and snake her wits, or what are we calling you? Garden snake her wits. Garden snake her wits. What are you gonna do with the yolk that you don't use? For me, I'll consume the yolk myself because I need that protein to stay sharp. I'm gonna keep that egg white in the freezer so I can sort of whisk it into a cocktail. Ooh.

Okay, that's great. Frugal. That's great. You have to conserve your eggs. So sold. Our next submission comes from Cunit. Cunit writes, Hi Cunit. Hi cuties.

My boss's partner is playing. So yeah, my boss's partner. Boss's partner. One degree removed for sure. Is playing in a game where the DM has introduced an absolutely dangerous home brew. Oh. At the start of the game,

the players are given a D100. At the start of the game, the players are given a D100. At any point in the game, they can replace any dice roll with the D100. However, after doing so, the power of the D100 is handed over to the DM. Now, the power to replace a dice with the D100 is in their hands. This goes back and forth during the rest of the session

until someone throws it away in anger, I suppose. Some sessions it's used recklessly, but in other sessions it's never even touched but for a fearful glance. For a D100% stake of this dicey game of mutually assured destruction, I'm prepared to accept one D100 eggs out of which I will give 99% to my boss.

Well, I feel like this is all. First off, I love it, it's crazy. It's kind of like, what if crits weren't enough for you? Yeah, I'm kind of like, this has already been market tested and it doesn't work, because it's either used recklessly or it's not used at all. It almost feels like you have to make a world

in which there is a narrative reason for there to be sometimes such wild successes. But also, what does it even mean to get like a 70 on your attack roll? I just got a fucking 87, guys. So you got an 87 on your attack roll? I got an 87.

Is that a quadruple crit? Yeah, you're right on an attack roll. Well, you would never use it on an attack roll, right? What would you use it on, though? I think you'd use it, yeah. The thing that trips me up most about it is that the player and then the DM switch. And so the DM can kind of,

it's at their discretion to use it on anything. And so it kind of creates this meta level of conflict that is almost outside of the story is where I'm getting a little tripped up. Yeah, you're right. And this DM theoretically has like, could stack several D100s against individual players, right? Or I think they would just have one

because it would just be the one. You're right. Oh, it's only one. I just got an 81 and then a 78. And I am kind of like, what do these mean? Right? Like they don't really mean that much more. When they're that far away from a 20, then yeah.

You already feel like you've succeeded so wildly. Yeah, this is just what if bardic inspiration was completely broken to the point where the 70 of the numbers were meaningless. You know what I mean? Like getting a DC 30 or a 35 or something is meaningful because you can do something. Are we still rolling over here?

Yeah, I got a 61 and then another 81 if you can believe it. And then an 18. So yeah, it does feel, it's too extreme. But you still- I'm gonna roll. That's only a 23. Not an interesting body.

What if it was just the players can just add an extra D20 to a role, but then the DM also has that. I just don't get that though. What is the point though? And yeah, we can be rude about this idea because it's this person's boss's partner. I gotta say.

It's in a game that they play, so it's pretty far removed. I gotta say the people who are playing D&D with their bosses, that's so wild to me. I don't think they're playing D&D with their boss. I think their boss is relaying home stories from their partner. Maybe.

I'm already feeling sort of like a difficult power dynamic. Yeah, right? My boss's partner is playing in a game where they'll DM, so it's so many degrees removed. We're going absolutely A to Z on this. You know what? This has been play tested. The people don't like it.

Or they like it too much and you're just playing a different game. No, no, no, but this has been played in their, they said in their game, they're not using it. Or they use it recklessly. Also the cap table of this deal is so screwed up. We've got a boss, we have a partner, we have the partner's DM.

Like, I just don't know where the equity stands. I can't get myself in a deal like that. Yeah, how many people are we gonna have to cut in? I'm just trying to wrap my head around what it means to roll like a 70 on a persuasion check or something. I don't even wanna see what happens to that. You know what I mean?

Like, what does that mean? You just bewitched the person? They are just like, oh, you wanted a cheap price on this sword. Give me a persuasion check. I roll a 95. I give you the store and propose to you. I'll make you a million swords now.

Yeah, what happens? Square fealty to you for some reason. Yeah, yeah. I become your squire even though I have a family and I'm a blacksmith and I live in this town. I think it makes more sense if you wanted to have like a, hey, when you guys are desperate and you need an advantage, you can take one, but you automatically ping pong

one back to your DM. I think it makes more sense to be like, almost like a bardic, right? You can add a D12 to a roll in a desperate moment, but then that becomes the permission of the DM as well. This is, yeah, I think that when it's a D12 or something like that, where then the numbers are just within the realm of what you see in D&D,

that makes it more exciting because rolling like a 35 is super, super exciting. And I don't think rolling a 92 would be exciting. Yeah, no, as I was rolling them, I was sitting there being like, what does this even mean? It's not, it's, yeah. Well, then it starts feeling like school and you're like, oh, a 73 is really high for D&D, but not that high in class.

Yeah. Like out of a hundred. Shit, I gotta C-. That's not exciting. Is there something, is there something, and maybe this is dead on arrival, to making it a damage die? Yeah, I do think that you could do-

Oh, that's fun. If you could do like a D12 or something. Oh. I still think a D100, is that even gonna feel good? Well, a D100, you're basically like, I hope I take the bad guy out because they're gonna use it immediately back and potentially insta-kill one of us.

I guess, yeah. But potentially not. So then that roll, you really understand the consequences of that roll because an 18 versus an 87 with damage, that I can get a clear idea. I do think a situation where you're rolling a D100 for damage or having a D100 rolled against you for damage is the stakes are really high.

And you understand what I mean. I can at least conceptualize what the parameters of that are slightly more. Rather than like asking for a ride to town on somebody's wagon and rolling a 64. I think that's yes, exactly. And they're just like, keep the wagon. I'll be your driver now.

The mule turns on his owner, looks at you, speaks to you. You understand the language now. You have proficiency in animal handling. I'm your donkey now. The wagon awakens. Damage makes more sense, but I think we're starting at not making any sense. So I, yeah, because this wasn't,

wouldn't even feel good, right? Cause this is so outside of the game that if you guys were fighting a major rival or something in the campaign and then you're like, I'm going to use my D 100 thing. Okay. I do 90 damage out of nowhere. I typically roll a D8 for my damage. So I do a 98 damage and it's just like, cool.

Yeah, you killed him. All right. And the next turn I knock you out or outright kill you. And you're just like, huh? Okay. That wasn't anything. Maybe if you had like a bad guy who was like all about cosmic balance and was like, you, you may do this, but then I may also do this. You know, like maybe you could do it for an encounter. Yeah. I'm so far. You will wield the same powers I wield.

I'm so far in that I'm out again. My head is like poking out the back of the shell where my tail would be. Yeah, I'm so out. Dan, there's your tail. Yeah, the tail is in. So that's the thing is the tail is in. I'm in, therefore I'm out.

I'm in, therefore I'm out. I've tucked into my shell and I'm making a little sleeping bag of my own shell. For me, I just wanna live in a world where you go to your boss's partner's DM and say, Jake Hurwitz is in for a hundred eggs. So I'm in, therefore, or no, I'm out there for an egg.

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and Dragons merch while supplies last. All right, that's it for me. Cheers, I'll see you later. We have another spell based one actually. J W writes, Hello, I don't know if this has ever been brought up before. I doubt it's original. We'll see. But an idea I've always liked would be allowing your player to use one or two extra spell

slots when they're all out of spells except for each spell level they take a d6 or another die of your choice of damage it would be like they were overexerting themselves so if you were out of spells and needed to cure wounds you could cast it at a third level for three d6 of damage i think it could lead to some cool role play opportunities but idk if it would be balanced haha anyway love y'all's work. Yeah. Honestly, the pitch was very relatable. Yeah. I really enjoyed. People are gonna like you, I can tell.

Yeah. I can tell, the market is gonna like you as a figurehead. You've got Riz. You have a story. Yeah, you definitely have a story. You have a story, which is IDK, LOL. Yeah. I feel like this is interesting

that we're getting another pitch. So it's clear that at people's tables, the restriction of spells is a thorn in the pie. I would up the cost here because I think 3d6 is not enough. You could potentially just take six damage, although depending on your level. I mean, you would typically,

it would average out to be nine damage. It would average out that you would roll on average of three, I think. And so it'd be nine damage, which is not enough to pay for a third level spell. I would do this almost like Divine Smite. And I think you take like 2 D8 of damage each level. I think you have to pay heavily for this.

And then I think, I mean, theoretically then you could be casting like a, cast like Chain Lightning or something and do a fuck ton of damage. So it's like all really cool, but if you're gonna do that, you take like- And just pass out as you do it, which is beautiful. Yeah, you take like 10 D8 of damage,

which is I think about what Chain Lightning does anyway. So yeah, you do it to yourself in addition to doing it to other people. Maybe there's something to like it being like negative hit dies. Oh. That's a really good idea. Huh.

That's interesting. Yes. So it'd be like if you're gonna do a fifth level spell, you pay five hit die or something like that. That's kind of interesting. I like that because then it scales based on what kind of HP you have. Yeah, I might even I might up it I might do your hit die plus one hit die or something like that Yeah, I think that needs to be a lot

So if you want to do a fifth level spell, it's five. It's six hit die, which is kind of like a smite Yeah, plus your con. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's getting too messy now. This is getting too mad. This is a d4 all over again Sorry. Yeah, so with most most spell casters have a d6. So it would only be d6 is so let's let's think if that would be worth it Okay, so I've got let's say I'm playing a wizard wizard I think I don't know if sorcerers are D's a d6, but I know that wizards are a d6 So let's say I'm playing a wizard My party's in a bad way, we've all, because also presumably if they're out of spells,

they've been fighting. So presumably they've already taken a little bit of a toll, right? And I'm sitting there and I'm like, yeah, I really need to cast a fireball, I'm gonna dig deep, it's gonna be four d6 of damage to do it. And I just took 15 points of damage.

Yeah, I mean, but then you get to do eight D6 for free to a bunch of people. Well, and then also you lose those hit dice next time you're trying to rest. Yeah. Oh, that's interesting. You lose the hit dice. Yeah.

So it's like you can't recover. Maybe the answer is it's your hit dice plus one and per level of the spell that you're casting. But we also, you have to remember, I used the example of one of the more powerful spells. Fireball is one of the more powerful spells, especially at that level. But it gets more broken the higher level you go.

So you might have to cap it. Because once you get to like, you know, a seventh level spell or something, taking 76 to cast a seventh level spell is nothing. Yeah, you're right. On average, you're only going to take like 21 damage. Yeah, you could cap it at three. Yeah, I feel like there's a lot of stuff that like cap stuff at three. I think this I think this still needs some more workshopping.

I don't, I think I might be in there for a moment. Emily's rolling dice over here. Just to play test it briefly. So that's 22 damage to cast a fireball on a wizard who has low hit points to begin with. But they might not have low hit points because they might. But if they're out of spells, they're probably mid combat. Yeah.

I'm ready to have a conversation. There's something to me about the, doing it to heal somebody feels more like, I could see a wizard digging really deep to bring their wounded- Wizards don't really have too much healing though. I see. But I think that's-

I think there might be one spell that they can like hurt themselves to heal other people, but they don't have cure wounds or anything like that. I think this is why it's unbalanced in a way that doesn't work is because you could theoretically cast something like a heal spell or a mass cure wounds and just healing way more than you're paying for and you're doing it for free.

Oh, you're right. If a druid had it, they've got D8s, and then they could do do a mass cure wounds. And then so they're hurting themselves, which is like, is a cost. I think this needs work. Mass cure wounds, I wanna say is six, in which case you would, or some kind of mass heal,

I wanna say is around six level, in which case you're taking 12 D8 of damage. Yeah. I think that we around six level, in which case you're taking 12 to eight of damage. Yeah. I think that we're onto something and you're seeing a hole in the market. Okay. And you're approaching it with not only humility, let's say that, that pitch was-

Definitely humility, yeah. That pitch had a charming level of humility, but also simplicity. So I'm gonna put forward my entire brood of eggs. What? Wow. Wow. This is amazing. I won't even mention how I was out.

Yeah, this is, I believe the eggs have just become completely meaningless. Honestly, I was just sitting on these eggs and they were starting to hatch. So I was like, I gotta move these before they. For this as a bonus episode, you can't invest anymore eggs. You're completely, yeah, you're fully leveraged on this opportunity.

I will say that I'm out and therefore in. Simply put, you've charmed me. Wow. And I'm really loving my contribution of it being hit dice. Yeah, oh yeah, I'm predicated on it. I think we make some stipulations, no healing spells, and once prolonged rest, you can do this maybe or something like that.

Okay, I like that, I like that. And I'm putting in one egg. Okay, great, great. I'm in, therefore I'm out, because it sounds like this thing needs guardrails, it needs workshopping, it needs a lot, it needs cooks in the kitchen, and I'm just, I'm not willing to do that work.

I don't, I'm, it sounds like a lot of numbers, a lot of math. I wanna hear from you in a few years. I wanna hear from you. You seem really stressed out by the idea of working on this. Yeah, I could barely read the total take intro. I'm really not gonna get in the kitchen with anybody.

But I wish you guys well. And why don't we take a look at one last idea? Does that sound good? Okay, great. Yeah, pretty. Okay, this one is from Elf0004. Hello, tortles. I'm here today to talk-

Hello, shello. Shello. Shello. I'm here today to talk to you about a problem that I guarantee everyone who plays 5e has encountered or will encounter at some point. I cross my arms and lean back. I lean forward, gently leaning my pen on my lip.

And drawing a huge line from your upper lip to your nostril. I furrow my brow and just start taking notes on a legal pad. When is the worst time to roll a nat 20? No, Justice Axford, I am not talking about initiative. They mean shellmily. The absolute worst time to roll a nat 20

is when you are rolling with disadvantage. You see the beautiful 20 staring up at you, but you can't do anything about it. Not anymore. My little bit of homebrew allows you to take that otherwise useless nat 20 and turn it into a plus one on whatever attack check, saving throw, or whatever else you are rolling.

Is it going to make the difference and push you over the edge to clear that DC? Maybe, probably not. But wouldn't it be so cool if it did? At the very least, it is going to do something other than just sitting there feeling like all that luck just went to waste. I'm offering a license to use this homebrew in perpetuity throughout the universe. Hell, you can even port it over to Pathfinder. All I ask in exchange is

a shout out in the episode the first time this rule comes into effect in any given campaign." Wow. I think this is a really good idea. I really thought you were gonna say, when you roll the nat 20, you also roll play the parallel universe where you crit. Oh. Now that's fun. Okay. To me, it feels so slight

that I feel like this rule is something I will forget. Yes, agreed. You would forget it, but imagine the one time that it takes you, imagine the one time that you takes you, imagine the one time that you save because of that one. Yeah. I think it's pretty, I don't think it would happen

very often, I'm kind of wondering if we boost this, and if you get a nat 20, then you can re-roll the other dice or something. I thought it was a little messy. What if you get the average of the two dice? So it's like, you have to take the lower one, unless you crit, in which case you can take the average between whatever you rolled and the 20.

It's not that messy. It is, cause then you're sitting there being like, I had 12, I had 12, so I got a 20 and a 15 which means I get a 17 you're making it harder than it is. 17. That's exactly what would happen. Maybe other people are better at math than you. Oh, oh, I'm listening to the raw audio. Not me.

I can tell you it's not you. It's not Jake and it's not Caldwell. Finn's fired, baby. I think that, like, I kind of think that the Nat 21 rolling with disadvantage though, is like a Nat, like it's the same feeling as a Nat one. Uh-huh. So I don't know what I- Which I would argue is the purpose of disadvantage. I don't know that I wanna lose that sense of loss

from that moment. That's interesting, yeah. Dude, the highs feel as high if the lows don't feel as low? That's what I'm saying. Like it's part of, it's one of the saddest moments, but that makes the happier moments better. It's a beautiful sentiment.

If you're just guarding against the gut punches of D&D, then maybe you have to let yourself get the wind knocked out of your system every once in a while. Yeah. You gotta climb the rollercoaster sometimes to system every once in a while. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta climb the rollercoaster sometimes to have the drops, you know? Yeah, that's true. So true.

That said, if I rolled a nat 20 and then this six, super easy to take the average between those two, which is- Go ahead. I know, I'm getting there. I probably- I got it. Do it. I think it's between six and 20, I would, 14. Was it 14? No, it's between six and 20. I would, 14. Was it 14?

No, it's 12. Of course. Right? No, no, no, it's not. It's 13, it's 13. Dear God. We were so close. We were so close.

And then add your modifiers because it's not even, that's just the roll. Okay, I got a nat 20 and a seven, 27. So that's gonna be 13.5. Okay, there we go. And I just did that really quick. Do we round down or do we round up? Three plus nat 20, 23 becomes 11.5.

I just did that pretty fast. Unless I'm wrong. Do we round up or do we round down? So we round down, that's it? We round down. You gotta add your modifier. It's disadvantage after we round down, what's that? We round down. We round down. You gotta round down. Now add your modifier.

It's disadvantage after all. Yeah, it's just needlessly complicated. The yoke is not worth the crack. I am in, therefore I'm out. It's true. I also think, like I said before, I think that you don't wanna take the edge off of that moment of loss because that is kind of part

of the fun of the game, in my opinion. That's why you rolled with disadvantage for a reason. And rolling a nat 20 is kind of good with disadvantage because it means that if your other roll is good, then you're good, you know what I mean? Oh, I could see it that way. Yeah, like. Well, no, I think rolling a nat 20 would,

oh yeah, yeah, it's not worse than the other one. Because you need both. Essentially becomes a flat roll. With disadvantage, you need both rolls to be good because you not worse than the other one. Because you need both. Essentially becomes a flat roll. With Disadvantage, you need both rolls to be good because you're gonna take the lower one. So having one nat 20 means that one of your dice are good and you just gotta hope that the, then it just becomes a flat roll essentially.

But if you're a mystical bitch like me and you're like, the dice contains its 20s and it doles them out accordingly. Oh wow, yeah. You're like, oh my God, I missed out on a chance. It's one nat 20 shire. Yeah, you know, despite my terrible dice luck, I still don't really believe in dice luck, even though I have all evidence to the contrary.

I don't actually, it's just fun to. It's fun to hold them in a mystical regard. However, what do you guys think about my pitch, which is that you role play the parallel universe where you crit, just for the fun of it. Yeah, I like that. I like that. It's easy, it doesn't take that much time.

It's two minutes. It's quick, it's quick. It's quick. It's two to eight minutes. Yeah, okay. And you go, that would have been cool. That would have been rad. And then you restart. You say, that's what you imagined, you idiot. What actually happened? While you were

imagining this, this is what actually happened. I wish that happened. That actually could be cool. Really? Really? How? I don't know. I guess, yeah. I mean, I guess you could do it. I think if you did it for 10 seconds It would be cool or if you were like you swing out and it looks like you hit him dead on but once again Dragon Ball Z style you sees held up one finger to block your axe right there you go. That's how So strong there you go. That was great. I just add like three more minutes of the role play Yeah, and then we yeah going? And then we'll keep going, cause you set it up so perfectly.

And then since I box it with the one finger, you are surprised by that. You wouldn't think that someone would be able to do that. So you look down and you realize that you actually missed. Oh no, you're roleplaying too much. I'm roleplaying too much. You're not roleplaying the good parallel you ever made. You're not doing it enough. You're supposed toplaying the good parallel you heard. Yeah, you're not doing it enough.

You're supposed to live in the crib for a long time. Okay, so two minutes. Give me wish fulfillment. Start the clock. I'm a different player at the table and I'm gonna go to the bathroom now. Right, okay, so Zach's gone to the bathroom. Hard one, you've just swung at GLAAD, okay? You see, you have perfect form.

Just a home run hitterter swinging for the fences. You tighten your core. You dastardly fiend. You can see your obliques and it looks like Galad is flat footed. Like typically he is the type of fighter that would parody a straight on attack, but you are coming at him with so much aggression, precision, and skill that you undoubtedly are about to hit this man.

It was my destiny. It was your destiny, you think to yourself. As you swing back, your hair kind of lifts up off your shoulder. Right. All of the momentum taking you forward. Your hair is now- I throw my brow also and I glare. You glare at G'lad. I bare my teeth, Murph.

You bare your teeth and G'lad, if anything, is hiding his teeth because he's just making sort of an oh face. And back from the bathroom, what's going on? So we're still talking about what might happen here. Does it win over, really? GLaD has gasped because he couldn't possibly have seen this coming.

As you continue to swing and your hair lifts from your shoulder and sort of goes in front as the momentum of the axe moves forward and becomes parallel with your body, slowly going from parallel to your body to a little bit in front of your body, then a little bit more in parallel with your body, slowly going from parallel to your body, to a little bit in front of your body, then a little bit more in front of your body, then a little bit more in front of that,

until you're fully extended and you've really put your hips into it. And all the local squirrels start to cheer free. Yeah. Like how they react to lunar eclipses. They all drop their nuts, and they all just start squeaking. All at once. Every squirrel. Every squirrel. Every squirrel. They drop their nuts.

The ones up in trees drop their nuts. The ones on the ground drop their nuts. One of them says in perfect human English, that was a nut-dropper of an attack. Yeah. They're fucked for the winter. You swing forward and you connect with Glad's chest. Oh, wow. But then he is, of course, wearing a breastplate,

so it just sort of dings off. Oh, man, it felt so good to live in that world for two minutes. Right, yeah. It really did. Yeah. It really did. I'm all the way out on this idea and therefore I am in. The in and out metaphor has ruined the show. I'm glad to bring that. I'm glad to bring that in.

All right, so not purchase, is anyone in on this for real though? I think I'm out. Yeah, yeah. I offered my note and I realized it was really bad so I think I'm out. Yeah, yeah, I offered my note and I realized it was really bad, so I think I'm in slash out. The average. I crumpled up my little piece of legal pad paper and I threw it at Serfie. Whoa!

Whoa, I'm gonna go ahead and get Zach snapping a turtle attack into a headlock for attacking Briny. Let go! Brinen. Brinen. Get off of me! Yeah, so we sort of zoom out as the turtles all attack each other. And that's gonna be it for this episode of Turtle Tank.

Thank you so much to our celebrity guest, Sakuyama. Thanks for coming by the Turtle Tank. You got anything you'd like to plug? I will plug Rotating Heroes. We got a fun art coming up and Dimension 20 and yeah, that's it. Yeah, we got a bunch of Dimension 20 live shows coming up, so check out Dimension 20 Live.

We're gonna be coming to in the new year. We're gonna be at MSG, but that's sold out. But we've got Hollywood Bowl. We're gonna be in Seattle and we're also going to be in Vegas. So be on the lookout for that. Jake, you got anything to plug? Yeah, I have a show,

I think it's a little bit bigger than MSG in Chicago with Amir next week. Hell yeah. Wherever the Bears play, that's where it is. Headgum.com slash live. You guys are playing the Bears. Yes Game that's huge. That's right. That's right halftime show sweet And you can follow us on social media that we're mirror may not use at CH first me at The asterisk Emily at jaker which is Jake and at tackle yama's a ko yama. That's's correct. Right on. And you can, don't tweet about the show,

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Frosty Facial. Taylor B. The vengeful one-winged angel. Cass. Strong. Grinch. Steven. Starspawn. Starspawn. Starspa Starspawn C Mike K Lady Taco Ya Girl Got Knocked

Up Congratulations! Nick W William W Big Bad Bird of the Mad Eric McD Ananorama Percival, Frederick, Stein, Van Musel, Klasowski, Terolo III, J. Dragonborn, Guardian of the Vibe, Honoring the Cock, Flux Roo, Ben A, Dave H, Dustin S, Danny F, Hawkeye Pierce, Bookvars Assistant Izzy F, Big Bad John, DPC is awesome, hashtag honor the cock, shown, the shade tree mechanic of Zobeldar, Summer Rose, Grand Tare, Cat C, Mesa of House and Zunza, Ariel the occasional mermaid,

Selena, the Lacey Raptor, B, Perky, always, Pat L, Maxwell J, Lauren H. Serv 16. Annie, the Feywild Therapist. Connor S. Salil. Bioquart 7. Amber Dextrous. Bean Rat was innocent. Jack H. King of the Mole,

pupil under Iron Deep, dressed in blue and fighting his way through haybracket style tournament. Valen, Paj, the bitchin' bunny bard. Carlin C, Noah, the bullywug boy, hashtag honor the cock. James G, everything bagoo the eladrin who just wants to hang out with his pet badger stripey daddy master dandy hon eric be marcos Frida M pago self-proclaimed fae king asking you to watch the disruptors

starring alley Beardsley and grant o'Brien. Tracy P., The Crick Elf Librarian. Maggie! Holly, The Green Laughing Hyena, finally caught up to the Duck Team. Akash, The Car. Cal, just Cal. Aaron B. Russell H., A Monk Named Dilgo. Yes, the whole thing. Yes, every time.

Cody C., Lorelei the succubi and Kira the succulent snack. McKenna Stout, your friendly neighborhood yawn and yunkle, Andrew and Sid. John Adams, the write-in candidate for 2024. Meg, the mail carrier manager of Bohumia. James F. Austin S. Wayfair now has to do something with the trolls.

Get rid of them, turn to page 42. Keep them, turn to page 69. Shane C. Barpo, Good Barrel Barbarian. Welsh Linder. Garrett G. One Big Curd. Renee, the monster captain, Box Clifton,

Olivia the Enchanting Bard, and Jared the Soap Opera Cleric who are playing Stick It to the Man down with the monarchy, Winterslade, Fico, Garrett the Artificer, Damon J., Anthony the Raddest of Dudes, Josh H., The Fairies Say, Caw, caw, congratulations to Susanna and Cobbla on their new baby.

Cantrip Dumbledore, the bear onesie wearing barbarian. Lexi H. Roger L. No Drug, the pass a fist barbarian. Gino T. John Luca. Tristan the talentless hunk.

Leon Kumori, legendary hero of Bohemia from a future campaign. Shenanigans O'Connor. Meos the Great. Joshua S. Alexander. Linz W. Johnny Dude K.

Pavu Eskenar the Goliath Paladin providing service with a smile. Tim M. A cat napping in a sunbeam listening to a podcast. MLG Cheeto. C Jam Hampton. Shell B. Kenna's now first favorite sprite girl manifesting return to Twank or Hotboy Summer 380s. Ski Lodge Winter Jamboreen

Jackson R. Snailus who's infecting Wor-sha-sha-sha with from within Official Ned Flanders Captain Morgan Pirate Wizard Pawpaw Sky Days Mee-Maw Sky Days Megan N. Anthony B. Savannah H, Balnor's best friend Steve, Stephanie of House and Zunza, Benjamin A, Gimli the Corgi, Pawpaw and Foster's canine friend, Mikkel A, Froakie, the two crew blew through, Jennery, Ethan the mailman, Maple the Shy Bookworm, Ashesaurus, Seth E., Billy Batson, Tori the Tungsten Dragoose, Michael Lyle, S. II., Jacob the Perverter of Shenanigans, Carl B., Plumber of the Realm, Parcel, Dex Riddlewell, Hannah A., Ra, Ace Drex, High Lord of Critsburg, Darius D, Troy's Mom,

Vin Diagram, GKCTD, Catamilius the Consumed, Bard of Holding, Clinton P, Thankful Cam the Frog Man, Dean, Jake W, Hi Mom! Tuesday Cross the Choose Your Own Adventure Writer, Not the Porn Star, Steve L., Alex G., Zippa Da Bakery, Nicole, Katarina C., Lady Jacqueline P. of Castle Whitestone, and finally, Potato Punk. Thank you all so much for your support. We love you so much. Mwah, mwah, mwah. Goodbye, sweeties.

That was a hate gum podcast.