Not Another D&D Podcast - Trinyvale - Ep. 9: Skyborn Struggle

Episode Date: May 18, 2020

Having escaped the Benefactor’s base unscathed, our heroes now find themselves surrounded by Raster Von Vineheart and his Dread Horizon pirates! Onyx comes clean, Nyack gets sticky and Jens gets closure as Retrieval Team 22 leaps out of the frying pan and into the high-flying fire! Music CreditsSound Design by Daniel Ramos (www.TheDanielRamos.com and @Dr.Schubird on IG)"Trinyvale Intro and Outro" by Emily Axford“The Shard” by Emily Axford“Half-Brothers” by Emily Axford“A Hunkle’s Plea” by Emily Axford“Sweeping up the Shards” by Emily Axford“City in the Clouds” by Emily Axford“Where the Mountain Meets the Sky” by Emily Axford "Blavin Blandfoot's Bellowing Blunders" by Jens Christian Tvilum"The Infinite Cheeks of Destiny" by Jens Christian Tvilum“The Wisdom of Neddas“ by Jens Christian TvilumSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Oh, the beautiful drumbeat of our world. A world, in fact, where ancient gods walk among us, dazzling airships fly above us, and talking gorillas are all horny as hell. Oh yeah. It's fully canon, and it is a true adventurer's paradise. Today's story begins thousands of feet above the world of Trinaville, where an imposing black airship has just overtaken its sleek silver counterpart.

As the night black galley and glides forward, the familiar masked face of raster von Weinhardt lears from the bow. A moment later, four smaller vessels emerge from the clouds in every cardinal direction. Their huge cannons glinting in the sun. Will the Trinneville trio be blown to spithereens? Or shall their reans remain unsmithored? Only time will tell. And so, without further ado, let's rejoin Retrieval Team 22 and begin Chapter 9 of the Trinavale Adventure. 9!

New addition, a new twist. Hello friends and welcome back to the table. I'm your dungeon master, aka a dunkel called Wil Tanner. Joined by, who would like to introduce themselves first? Jenslin Del, the healthy Elfie with a dance that'll put you in a trance. Woohoo! Love it. Anix Lumiere, invoker of the accursed specter. Oh, it's so good to see you again, Melinda. I'm deaf forever, but I miss you.

And of course, Jamman, Naya, Robana for. Okay, that's enough stutter and fun. Does Naya like Jam Bands? Oh, yes, he does. Naya is a big band of fish. Sweet. String cheese incident is a little too much for your tummy though. That's it.

Can't do dairy. Okay, so I know you're all ready to rassle with rast and also your feelings, but a lot has happened since we started this journey. How about a quick recap? All right. Actually, this one is not going to be too quick. But a lot has happened since we started this journey. How about a quick recap? Alright. Oh yeah. Actually, this one is not going to be too quick. I want to make it a little more encompassing them before.

I want to really catch everyone up to speed. So here we go. When last we met, U3 had finally recovered all five of the Ginerac crystals. Powerful ancient relics from the continent of Ginerac, and we're taking them to your employer. A mysterious noble, known as the Bene were taking them to your employer, a mysterious noble known as the Benefactor, to receive payment for a job well done. However, before you enter the building, the Benefactor's personal assistant, a bumbling

drunken halfling named Blav in Blanford, revealed that the Benefactor was planning on using these crystals to power a device that could kill a god. He also warned that activating all the crystals in such a manner would trigger an arcane shockwave similar to the one that destroyed the continent of Ginerak in the first place. Blavin explained that he's actually a member of the Golden Iris, a secret society dedicated to protecting Trinavale from the very gods that made it. To prove it, he showed you a sigil tattoo on his ass that matched the one you saw in Onyx's parents' secret study at their lunar vineyard on Pollux.

If I recall, I believe that Onyx also has the sigil as a tattoo. You do. You have the dirtier one, the sinner's mark, which is kind of like a rotten little sigil that Rebels get. So maybe you can adjust it since you're, you know, officially part of the Golden Iris. Why do all of your characters have such trashy tattoos? And yet my body as a player is untouched. Do you want to just go to Virginia Beach? Because we can just do that. Yeah. Alright, we're going to stop the recording. We're going to go to Virginia Beach. We're

not playing again until Emily has all the tattoos that her characters have. I'm going to. It seems that your parents were members of this golden iris order as well. And so armed with new knowledge and prepared for anything, you made your way to the Benefactor's orfside manner. Before entering, however, Onyx plays calls to Mercurio Delurio, your dubious billionaire ally, as well as Keith, her nomish lover, and the pilot of a massive golden robot. Once inside the manner you distracted the benefactor with some shenanigans of invisibility, then you found your way into a garden observatory. While there you used the dimensional doorknob to open a pocket dimension, which you discovered contained the three crystals you had already surrendered to the benefactor. However, when you attempted to exit this dimension, you found yourself back in the main chamber of the benefactor's

layer. The benefactor, now accompanied by a menacing laser array mechanism that was hidden in the floor, asked you to hand over the crystals. When you refused, the benefactor elit his cane staff and began to fight. After besting the benefactorors powerful time-stopping spell, Onyx used her pastel magic to brand him with butterfly tattoos while Niaq fired Arrow after Arrow. Eventually, Jins was able to break from his frozen double-chinned prison and join the fray as well. You all continued to fight until Niaq delivered a fart-tinged arrow of death. We suck so bad. We just absolutely suck. You don't deserve to win.

In the benefactor, unfortunately, finally fell. However, before you could properly celebrate, a strange green mist began to pour out of your former boss, and slowly he began to rise from the dead. He then used a chrono scooper device to retrieve the three crystals you had taken from him and prepared to fight once more. As this happened your four missing companions, Norwalk, Keychain, Blavin and Z, escaped from their prison in the Benefactor's basement workshop and met you upstairs just in time to see Leant, the goddess of fire and war crashed through the mansion ceiling. She told the benefactor she wasn't going to let him get away with this dastardly plan

and in doing so revealed his true identity. This entire time, you three were actually working for Nalar, the god of time and tides. Before you could ask any follow-ups however, Leon wrestled the crystals from the benefactor's grasp, tossed them to you and told you to get the hell away. Taking her advice, you escaped into the benefactors' private bathosphere and managed to rendezvous with Mercurio who was waiting in his private airship. Once aboard, you divvied up the crystals, each taking one and giving the other two to Blavin and Keychain.

You then departed for safe haven at Mercurio's home of Vena Doss. However, before you could get too far, your ship was ambushed by the Dread Horizon, a group of sky pirates led by Raster von Weinhart, the Verdantian Elf who murdered Jens covered. Like bastard, then bastard heart. He heard that and it made him furious. Good. Savage Burn brother. I've never seen anyone got so bad. I just remember I just realized that the similarity with Jake's characters is farting and tuning. I only play people who are guests like me. Hard one for it's not at two. Yeah, I think that's accurate. So yeah, we're all cut up. That was fun. That was like a Instagram. Remember here's where you were a year ago. Yeah, like that was like a nice trip down memory. It's a Facebook memory for sure. It's like an anime

when you get halfway through a series and there's like a recap episode where they're all at the hot spring. Oh yeah. It's where I had a hot spring. You're at a hot spring with dry. Yeah. You're drinking out of one of those big water jugs with X's on it. Oh yeah. It's great. But yes, we're in the present now. The huge dread horizon ship hovers above you and four smaller ships surround you on all

sides. And as you are taking in this scene, you hear an amplified voice call down. Open your blast shield or face the consequences. You see this voice is coming from a rast still wearing his center's mark mask as he stands at the bow of this big black ship. I challenge you to a three on one duel. I, Niaktasa's three gloves into this guy. The gloves just get sucked into the wind.

Oh, he never fails to impress me. So brave. You see him or Curio, it was like, you sure about this? Mm. Okay, he opens the blast shield and says, honestly, we're in a real pickle here. I don't see how we can get out of this one without a fight. So, best, you know, do what that man says.

He opens the blast shield and then you see a rope ladder come down and as that rope ladder descends, rast and eight pirate guards descend as well. Can I use like a time dagger to stop time so we can talk and strategize? No, I don't need to do that. That's stupid. Okay. Ah, bastard, Vaughn, bastard, send. Get him, brother. Can't afford a real bladder, Kenya.

How is your stupid, jangling rope ladder? You killed my dad! Drilly, which is the sword? The sword's in your hands or the sword in your mouth? This rope ladder is woven from fine, elvish silks. He's got me there. You, much like your father, must admire that. My father did love ropes. How dare you speak his name?

Ah, Jens, it's so hard to see your face. I'll only ask this once. Hand over the crystals, and I'll allow you to live. You saved my life aboard the sunkiller. This is the least I can do to repay the favor. Naya Dangle's glove and Jens eyesight. Say the word, brother. I actually think that at this moment,

it might be best if we throw a time-dacker out of it. Okay, hold on. Okay, so are you going to throw that stealthily or are you just initiating combat? I'm trying to catch him off-guard, so I guess can I do like a slight of hand? Sure, yeah, okay, cool. I'll give a help action.

Go, thank you. Yeah, cover my hand. Cover my hand. Guide your hands. Nah, it gives three help actions. That's a 25 on the first roll. Oh, oh, oh, oh. And a 23 on the second.

All right, great. Let me roll perception for last real quick. What was your lowest one? 23. So I got a 25. Alright so you hit him with this dagger. Why don't you roll and see if you stop time on him. Oh, can I give a hell back? That's 20. Wow. Fucking that's 20. This is the coolest moment of Jen's life.

Jen's life sucks and is so sad, but in this one moment he rolls Honestly, did you get that on your on Instagram? Did you finally get that? Oh, sorry I was going through Keith's pitch What yeah, what do you think was it a picture with someone girl from the story brother? I got it on my speaking stone. I can I'll send it to Onyx. Oh, no, you have a flip speaking stone This is no good. It's still image It looks like it could be one of those really dark porno's people I think if we post it with a really really in-depth description

Oh my god, my heart is racing. I have never I haven't rolled the Nath 20 with the timebackers yet And that's the first time I rolled it. Guess what happens? Okay. Lately, I'm consequences on us. All right, so you see him like stride forward. He's speaking in these mournful tones, and he just starts to say, my master, and then all of a sudden,

whew! He just gets stabbed. And time stops for him. I guess roll initiative and beat up his frozen man. Ah, ah, ah. Okay, absolutely hell yes to this. My God, that's a shout out to the two crew on initiative. You got to pay, you got to pay. I got an onex got a one. You got to pay the guys. You got a one. Yo, okay roll off, roll off, roll off. It's really well. We got your roll off. So I got a six with a. Okay, well I be, I mean I'm assuming I'd be you I got 15

Wow that was beautiful the universe gives and it takes yeah What did y'all get on your revised initiative? I got a three a three well? I got a 16 on the next one But I just imagine it just means I go before you just go before on X, okay, on X is at the bottom. And I have a six. Started from the bottom and now we hear. Six, Niaq, okay. So we're in combat now. Unfortunately, Rast beat all of you

on their initiative role. Okay. So I'm gonna let Rast roll to try and break out of this time spell. But since you did stop one with a time dagger, I'm gonna let everyone get a surprise round in on him regardless, I think. The prize round, that means that we get attacked

with advantage? Yeah. Sweet. Yeah, I think that's fair. Yes. Okay, so let me roll, this is going to be, what's your spell save? My spell save is 15.

All right, we'll set it at 15. Stay stopped. That's a not one. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Wow. Stay stopped. That's a not one! Yeah! Wow. We're just throwing away all these sheets I've written with lines for rest. It's a dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, He can't dance at all brother sweet sword dance. I'm destroying him is move suck compared to you. I'm destroying him He's frozen with fear. He's getting served naak bastard Mick Bastard sin

You see all of the pirates are like What do we do Then you see um Blavin and Zee and Norwalk kind of rush forward and are're like, don't worry, we're gonna handle these pirates. You focus on kicking this guy's ass. That's the best thing you've ever said, Blavin. I got your back, man. He gives you a huge swig from his staff.

Sweet. Uh, yes, sir. Listen, but you deserve this. Go nuts. Uh, I take a big swig. All right. It's Jens's day, everyone. It's Jens's turn.

Sweet. Oh my goodness. Do I want to cast a spell on him while he's fucked? I guess the best thing I can do here is, OK, I'm just going to run up and do some attacks on him. Remember to roll with advantage because this is a spell. Oh yeah. OK, I'm just using my regular short swords now.

Ha ha! Definitely gonna hit. That's a 25 to hit. I'll just do all my rules at first. Oh, next one is a 20 to hit. Those both hit. Sweet. Third one is the offhand. That's a 21 to hit automatically. Okay, so I hit on all three. You hit on all three? Okay, cool. So this is just a therapy session for Chins. You killed my daddy. My voice cracks as I attack him. 23 damage. 23 damage, yeah. Elzel.

On the side, beg you to livestream this on your livestream. What, sorry. I'm sorry, I was looking at Keith again. Oh, come on now. Does this look like a casual brunch or like a romantic dinner? I'll tell you, Niaq likes the photo by accident. Fucking Niaq, I'm going to get my phone out of your jam-filled hands. My hands are slippery, I'm sorry. That's my turn.

Okay, that brings us to Niaq. Okay, you bastard, you killed my turn. Okay, that brings us to Naya. Okay, you bastard. You killed my brother's dad, and even though it worked out for me in the end, because his mom married my dad and made me and gave me a brother, I still dislike you greatly. And I declare him my foe, which gives me advantage on attacks. So does that mean I roll 4D20 to see if my logbo hits? You can roll an extra D20, but that's wild. You can't roll 4.

I'll give you a three. Awesome, thank you, don't go. I really need it all three. Ha, ha, ha. How did you get? Well, it actually does a 19 hit. 19 does hit. Yes.

I got a A-roll day one and nine and a 10. So Rast has like a great sword and then looks to be wearing like armor, but doesn't have a shield. Yes, it's got light armor that's all black, a black cloak, and then he's got this very long thin bandage sword on his back. Whoa.

Okay, cool. How much damage? Five damage. Five damage, oh no. I know. You're taunting me while you're frozen. You're son of a bitch. Despite being frozen, you see his eyes flick down in kind of a really gesture.

I put on one of my brother's gloves. I draw back my second arrow. Okay. 23. That hits. 11 damage that time. Okay. Wow.

Exactly how I thought this fight would go. Incredible. He's just stopped and died. He's like, you can see that he's stuck in like villain about to give expositional speech mode and you've just like pressed pause, like the stabbing, furiously stabbing in damn. He's gonna come to you finishing the speech, you like so much more hurt's gonna come to your spine. He's finishing the speech. You're like, is so much more hurt. Monix, that's your turn.

Okay, I'm going to Heksblade Curse him. Okay. Wally's frozen and take my first attack. I crit. Oh my god. I took an awesome photo of you while you were doing that. Why did everyone get the good photos of Monix and Nyak? This is absurd.

What did I ever do to y'all? This is what it feels like to get whomped. But truly, it happens to be all the time. This is Dunkle's first whomping. 24 for my first. Yeah. And then I'm going to attack once again. Does an 18 hit?

Yes. just barely. It is so childish, but D&D is so much more fun when you're just like ruling. But anything part of it is because I got wamp so bad last fight. Like I spent it just knocked out. Yup, right, you were through the he has my hex plate curse so I get to add my proficiency. Yeah, y'all can't prepare it, I'll say it. All right, that brings us to Keychain is going to join us.

I guess if you'll have him. Yes, all right, great. So Keychain bust out of flask mode. I'm ready to kill this man. Good, I'm here. I've never heard you speak with such conviction. I'm a raw passionate Keychain's voice. I suppose this could be considered dishonorable.

I did say a three on one fight, but technically Keychain isn't a human, so this is all by the by my side. By the book. It's by the book. Yeah, this is air tag. He killed her daddy. Yes. All of our daddies.

Yes, I also think my dad is your dad. What? We're not sibling. Keychain has convinced me. My tack is barely my sibling. Keychain is a robot. He know all. Keychain just repeats, your dad is my me. That attack is barely my sibling. Keachan is a robot, he know all. Keachan just repeats, your dad is my dad.

Your dad is my dad. Your dad is my dad. Your dad is my dad. You're not a robot. If you've seen me in this crystal, I'm very suggestible. Okay, Keachan's just going to do a normal chomp attack, I think, with their mouth,

because that is how they fight now. All right, Keachan fails the first hit Keachan he's right there He's he's too passionate. Keachan goes in for a bite gives Rast a big ol kiss But does chomp on the second one. Let's see how much they do for that Sort of a regular kiss and a biting kiss there That's that's passion you are talking about, that's. It is.

Raw passion. That's nine damage from key chain. Rest is like he would be bleeding, but he's frozen in time. So now you just see kind of like ketchup packets, kind of exploding in slow motion all around his body. The wind time resumes for rest. It's gonna just out of him. Yeah. Our raincoat on. The wind time resumes for rest. It's gonna just, shh, out of him.

Yeah. All right. All right, it's rest turn once more. I'm going to roll and see if you can break out of this. Fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, that is absurd. I rolled a three. This is the best day of my life. It really is. I'm piggybacking off it. Okay, so he tries to resist. You see him kind of like wiggle and wriggle a little bit up, but nothing happens. Pathetic. Onyx, give me a perception check. Okay.

14. 14. The sword on his back starts to glow a little bit. You can see kind of a like Back starts to glow a little bit. You can see kind of a like shining shimmer peeking out from underneath the bandages of his sword. Does it look like the way my crystal glows? It is a pastel glimmer. Oh no.

Alright, let's continue the fuck this guy up. So you finally met my champion. I must say I'm not impressed. It seems like I chose for thee. Do you have what it takes to claim the title for yourself? Whatever chaos unfolds, you'll be to my benefit after all. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. And that brings us to Jins' turn. Oh my God. Onyx, you're all right. You're just kind of standing there.

Just thinking about. Yeah, you were five. Yeah, no, it's Geeth on my mind. Okay, no, that ends up. Brother, I'll hold his arms behind his back. Quickly now. This is honor for my father. In my father's name, I stab it, you it you stopped man I hastily post the picture that

Nyak took of me to try and distract myself from what just happened Amazing filter let the likes soothe I'm gonna go ahead and I'll take my attacks 22 on the first hit hits second hit cheese. It's another 22 on the second hit Third hit who might miss on this nope. That's another 22 on the second hit third hit. Oh my miss on this nope That's a 19 on the third hit. Oh those all hit sweet Jesus Christ Those are good rolls 28 damage

Okay, can I as a minor action can I slash this face and try to get the mask off? Yeah, because he's been pretty cryptic. And I think at this point, I'm like feeling a little bad. Like, what is this? What am I doing here? I'm just beating the shit out of him. You're owning brother. Yes, continue to own. I'll say, since you're slashing basically unopposed,

you easily slash the mask into shreds. One eye is glowing with a pastel energy. The other eye is crying. Do I have a... Do I have a... Do I recognize this person? This is Rastrov on Vineheart. This is the man that killed your father.

Huh. You know that without having to do a check. Did he have a pastel eye before? No. Oh, that's new. Well, this is new. Where are you looking at me? What you're acting shady I guess I Should we do it about this pastel information on it. I love your new voice

On it's you know anything about what's going on here. What is up with his face? Okay, so The sword is just like shaking on his back. Will you do me the favor of just continuing this fight and we'll talk about it later? Sure, yes, it sounds appropriate. I go back to whacking him. No, I could you like to whack him? I'm gonna shoot his nuts, brother.

I put two arrows in my quiver. I'm gonna take both my attacks at once. Nice. Yeah, this is like a practice mode. A two and a four. So that first one misses. The other arrow, that's a 20. That's 20?

No. Okay, that hits though. Seven damage. Not quite as much as key chain. Okay. Cool. He looks extremely hurt. Okay. Uh, let me get in there. Um, Jens is just having a weird emotional. Why is he crying? What's going on? Cause you're too awesome, brother. Oh, I cast, um, I cast staggering smite.

Okay. So the next time I hit, uh, I will add 4d6 psychic damage to the target. The target must make a wisdom saving throw and I failed save. It has disadvantage on attack rolls and ability checks and can't take reactions until it's next turn. All right, should I make that check now? Yeah, I did just hit so let me divvy up the damage. Sure. Sure.

Then you can make. Okay. 28. 28 damage. 28 damage. 28 damage. Onyx. You slash in to rest with this pastel flourish. And you see blood just dripping out of his mouth. But at the same time, you see the tears dry in his one remaining eye, and it also

lights with this pastel flame. Thank you. You've killed the prison, but the prisoner remains. And that brings us to I'm a prisoner of means. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, power. I'm very suspicious of it. I think it may be nefarious, but I am too addicted to the power, do not use it. So I think that he may be related in some way to this. You don't know into quits. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

But I think I'm just going to keep whacking and maybe try to kill my capture. Is that enough information? That's cool with me, yeah. We can definitely have like a sit down hard to hard. I am totally open to talking about that. Yeah, maybe back on the futon at home. Yeah.

It's not home for you. We'll go back to the pad, yes. The futon, but isn't that where Jen sleeps? Jen's, yes, you've Jen's futon. Yes, because his bladder has been getting drunk and falling asleep in bed. Okay, did he pass? That was what you said. Yes, because his blabbing has been getting drunk and falling asleep in bed Okay, did he pass the whistle said he absolutely did not he rolled another three shout out to the three creed So that means that trying to get out of time stop who have disability. I mean I just advantage disadvantage

Well actually that won't matter because he's dead On X after you hit Rast, you see him start coughing up blood and he falls to his knees. He's clearly dead. Oh, he's dead. Okay. But I feel like right now he's like glowing with this pastel glow that I has been giving me conflicting feelings.

So I guess I will take my second attack. Okay, Onyx, you rear back with your mall to hit Rast a second time. The moment that you swing towards him in a flash, your mall is blocked by the sword that was previously unrassed back. You didn't even see this happen, but in a flash the sword just appeared. And you see, as the bandages fall from it, it's no ordinary sword. Onyx, it's a shard. Oh no. And it's not just any shard. It's the same shard you saw that night in the stable on Pollock's.

I am a bad guy. Onyx, not only did this man kill Jins his father, he killed your parents as well. Crystals are starting to climb up his fingertips onto his arm, forming shards of this pastel glowing crystal, and he grins wildly at you and then tosses you back. That was weird. What's up with Rast? This poor shell, he didn't deserve anything I'd rather have. He never had the power you could have. And now I will give it one last performance before you, Onyx, become my champion. Now, everyone bow before your Lord, Verlis, Master of Chaos.

Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha. Nayak, Bows. What's your bow, Nayak? It was just being polite, brother. I think he also bows, but she crosses her fingers behind her back while she does it. Verlis, how long have you controlled this man? Lugh.

A long time. This is not our first meeting friend. Ha ha ha. Nayak, throw down the three-dooling gloves. Nayak fumbles with a satchel very quickly. I dump the full bag of gloves. Yes. You killed my mama and papa! I attacked the full bag of gloves. Yes. You killed my mama and papa!

I attacked the shard. You killed everybody's parents. Wait, are you still saying that my dad is your dad? Is that what's going on here? It's dad's two dads. Okay, but they, he also is the one who killed your parents. Separately. And on the emotional level, my dad is your dad.

Just so we're all clear. Sure, why not? So, on a real level, your dad is my dad. Keijan has convinced me. This fucker killed all our dads. I live for chaos and there's no easier way to bring it out than by killing something you love. I mean, Foley, let's just fucking wail on this fucking shard. I don't care what happens. I'm wailing on it. I welcome your wailing.

Where are you? Come out, coward. Alright, so you launch yourselves towards Verlisnow? Yeah. Yeah, you see kind of the dead eyes of Rast stare back at you, but they are just glowing with this pastel light now. Unfortunately, I know you're all eager to go, but it is Keychains turn, so he's gonna have to take a stab. Keychain is the angriest of all. This episode of NADPOT has brought to you by Bird Dogs. They're a company that makes pants and shorts, so no matter where you fall and the age old battle between the two, you can rest assured that Bird Dogs has you covered.

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Okay, keychain. What can you do for me? You cannot hit with that. Let's roll again. That's in that 20 for keychain. Oh yeah, keychain. Good job buddy. How do you?

Good job buddy. How do you, son? Ooh, that's two eights. All right, keychain does 20 damage. Oh. Keychain. Who is this? Who is this metal man?

This is our robo-room eight. We call him the Reaper. I shall take him to. I shall sow the seeds of chaos, and a garden of despair shall grow. All right. That brings us back around to Rast, going to cross out that name and write Verless, Lord of Chaos. Oh dear.

Verless, more like bastard, this. Wait. That's. Ha, Lord of Chaos. Oh dear. Burlis, more like bastard, this, wait. Yeah, because you couldn't have a bastard because no one would make, so we love to you. There you go. Nice alley-oop. I like how chaotic your insults are. They're so bad, they make me question everything. Okay, so for their move, they're going to cast Shield,

which gives them plus five to AC. They saw how good you were doing it, hitting them before. So I did to do something about that. So this invisible pastel barrier, it's basically like a giant prismic char begins circling around them. And you kind of see it fades in and out of existence And they just continue to laugh in your face

And that brings us to Jens I'm gonna cast Dispel magic on the shield Beautiful I act and you respond a perfect repost your father would be so proud That's right. I know what no magic bullshit is gonna stop this three on one do all four on one do all but the robot does count three on one Honor pure honor. I do not count, but I am counting on you to avenge our daddy Please don't call him your daddy, but yes Okay, that brings us to on X or wait, Jens, can you do anything else?

Oh, you know what? If I'm going to do that as an action, let me do bonus action, give Barty Conspiration to Onyx. Oh, thank you. What are you at? D-8. D-8, yeah. Oh, yum, yum, I love it.

Very cool, very nice. I'm so inspired by sharing it with you. Again, it was separate. He killed your parents and also my father. by sharing it, dad, with you. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Three birds one dad I saw that Borno I heard you watching it in the living room. I was trying to sleep on the bush on Sound carries up to the roof Nia that brings it around to you. I would know that spike growth is a dumb thing to do here because everybody's up in his business Right that's a spike growth yeah Yeah, it's a 20 foot radius. It's a pretty close range of tax I would say then Nyak will cast Hale of Thorns

Okay, oh nice. I'm gonna shoot an arrow straight up into the sky and it's gonna turn into a couple other arrows and Rain down on this guy go ahead See if it works. There's my ex-plate curse like stay on him because it's like the same entity or is it done? Um, I'll say it stays on him. Okay cool. Same body. Yeah. Basically what's happened is like the spirit that was dwelling within him is kind of fully

taken over the body. Yeah. So that's a 21 to hit and now he makes a dex saving throw and if he fails he takes. With disadvantage I think right? Yeah. Because of of the staggering spike. Okay, oh yeah. Oh yeah, cool. Man, getting one sucks.

Sure does, this is the, I don't know, I feel. The time dagger was the akerot dolphin of this trigger. Okay, what do I need to, you said Dex? Yeah, Dex save. All right, so that's a seven. My gosh. That saves. Just kidding. Oh no, so that's a Seven my god that saves

Just kidding. Oh, no How could you do this to me? You takes 21 22 damage? You've humiliated me. All right, tell you nice work. In this second arrow. I'm gonna shoot at his nads Oh wait, is he still in the same body? Yeah, so he would still be my if declared foe. Yes He's in the same body. You just see the only difference now is there's these like pastel crystals creeping up his sword on. Yes. God, I hate how good it looks. It's 20 to hit. 20 to hit. That hits. Of course. Five damage. Wonderful. Okay. Onyx. That's you. Okay. I'm going to cast a staggering smite again. They're trying to take him out for another round. Nice.

Let's dance. Does a 20 hit. 20 does it. Yes, prove your worth. He loves it. That's going to be 18 for my first attack. I'm into this. Oh no.

Does a 19 hit? Oh, actually, I didn't do the extra damage for Staggering Smite. Oh nice. It was 18 plus That's bad rolls, but okay plus nine and he does another wisdom save. Okay great. Oh, Alex is so powerful Yeah, yeah, that's ridiculous And now for my second attack

Only 13 cool 13 all right that brings us back around to key chain and then he has to make his save to see if he will be able to Attack without disadvantage or come on higher than a three lower than a three ah He does not save So he's still disadvantaged unbelievable. Yeah, okay. Well, that's key change turn key chain is loving this Keychain why don in this. Haha. Keychain, why don't you crit again? Time to crit.

Haha. Crit for daddy. You passionate little metal man. Yep, that hits. Haha. Hits on the first attack. 10 damage for Keychain's first attack. Okay, roll one more time.

Ah, that is gonna miss. Keychain spins his arms around like a tornado and wax, Verlis, one time real good, but then just keep spinning off towards the cockpit. Where are you going, Reba? Ah! Once I start, I cannot stop. Somebody please, put a log in front of my path.

I dispatch Obsidian to get in the way. Hey, could you do Obsidian real quick? No! Oh no! You have been taking vocal lessons. When is it going to be? Ah! Kichang crashes right into Obsidian.

Good boy. Thank you so much. Ah! Kichang whispers to a city and did he kill your daddy too? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, with all of you. You see the crystals creep further and further up the arm as they hit the elbow, it juts out into this big strong spike, as it hits the shoulder, this big paldrin of jagged pastel crystals forms. And he just slowly walks towards you. I should warn you about the nature of my blade, you about the nature of my blade. Much like the Gennarak crystals, this shard is powered by knowledge and memory, but while the Gennarak gyms were designed to safely store a culture's collective history as a power source, this shard is part of my prison. It is powered solely by the wisdom of me

And if it hits you you'll be trapped forever with an refractive prison of your own memories and You see that it's a lot like Trinstagram I'm actually kind of already there. I think of the same line. I think that's their mission statement. Yeah. They stole it from me. My business plan. And you see that he starts spinning the sword and then launches himself towards an IAC. Oh, bring it on.

He has this advantage on his attack. He does. Shit. Of all of the people, why an IAC? I think you were shooting him in the nuts. If the crystals are made of your wisdom, they must be pretty dumb. Right guys? Another barbed dung. We are quick. Yes, send me to stupid jail. Actually, you know what? They're gonna go ahead and hex blade curse Nya. That's my move. Where did you learn that? That's my thing.

I invented that I'm pretty sure. He steals everyone's things. You saw what he did with the trans-stagrams missions, David. My power is your power. I swear to God if you make your nipples disappear in a dance, then we are gonna have a copyright lawsuit. I've rolled a six. I'm gonna add my attack to that. That is a 14, that misses. That does miss.

I'm going to use some completely new dice for this roll. Still with disadvantage. Fuck me, a two and a four. Yeah. Shut up to the two crew. Naya has such bad armor too. Yeah. I'm just slipping and sliding everywhere.

Yeah. I'm furllis misses you. Just totally whips on you. Ugh, you're so slippery. I'm honestly standing pretty still. He studies the way of the jam. The way of the jam ranger. He's the nature of jam, you're string.

He said drunk and master, but with jam. All right, that brings us to Jens. Cool. I will charge forward and I'm going to do a defensive flourish. So I can expend a bardic inspiration to cause my weapon to deal extra damage to the target I hit, the damage equals the number I roll in the bardic inspiration die and then I add that number to my AC until the start of my next turn and then I'm going to attack you need that AC. Yeah That's a 23 to hit the first attack. I'll take a second attack

Oh only a 14 to hit on the second one that does miss okay third attack 16 that misses to damn okay Finally, so I'll just do the one Matt does miss. Okay, third attack, 16. That misses two. Damn, okay. Finally. So I'll just do the one, but I do get to add. Just make sure damage, because of the flourish. Ha ha! Ha ha! Don't laugh, that's my thing.

That's my thing. Ha ha! 14 damage, and I did roll an eight on my flourish, so I do have 24 AC right now. 13 damage, you said? Yes. Some of the crystals are starting to chip. We're chipping your crystals.

Don't chip my crystals. Do you see how they grow in such random parts? You're a rock nerd. I hate rock nerds. When we're done with you, I'm gonna put you in a tumbler and then sell your pieces on Etsy. Don't smooth me out.

We're gonna put you at a weird science store at the mall. You're gonna be at the a museum shop. No. So many kids will stick their snotty little hands in. Yeah, no one's gonna spend any money there. They'll just go to World of Science and touch the rocks. Oh, people are gonna put me up their nose. Yes.

That brings us to Niac. Okay. You know what? I'm going to cast insnaring strike on this guy. Ooh, how that do you think? Let me read it to you and to myself. Next time you hit a creature with a weapon attack before this spell ends, a writhing mass of thorny vines

appears at the point of impact and the target must succeed on a strength saving throw or be restrained by the magical vines until the spell ends. Ooh, I'll make sure we get advantage. And I have disadvantage on saving throws. Wow, you're disarraying. You're disarraying, you're disarraying. While I was trained by this bell,

the target takes one D6 piercing damage at the start of each of its turns. Oh, my darling fuckers. Ah, ha, ha. OK, roll some damage or roll an attack. Yes, which I have advantage on because it is my declared foe. Sure, sure. Cool, your crystals are dumb.

19 to hit. That hits, but I'm going to be using armor of the shard, which is a hex blade ability. You might know it better as hex blade armor. I don't have that, don't have it yet. Don't subscribe. Oh, geez. If I roll a four or a higher on this D6,

that attack misses, because you are my hex blade curse. Oh, shit. That's a three. Yeah. Have you rolled higher than a five? I don't think so. Only when you roll for keychain. You don't fucking see in this.

I'm loving this. This is a just S rank wamping that I'm sitting with. That's a colossal one. On, honest, I, I think you're awesome but I worry that, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, Crystal just pierced through a vine. So that was 12 damage on the first one. Okay, and I'll shoot him again. Nat 20! Woohoo! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Oh, okay, I mean, I think normally I would get to roll a D6, but I'm not gonna take that away from my beautiful nephew. I appreciate that. I put on my brother's other glove and I wait for it to get in. You're getting really comfortable with the gloves, Niaq. I don't know how I feel about this. 20 damage. 20 damage.

I'm gonna put one on my foot next to him. Those are business gloves. Niaq, for the second time in a row, finish him. Oh! Oh, wow. I pull my arrow back. I dip my arrow in a little bit of jam. The blood sugar spike will be ruthless. And I walk the arrow fully cocked over to my brother, and I hand it to him in a very precarious

fashion. You finish the job, brother. This is so dangerous. I'm not much of an archer. I believe in you. You think that poison will kill me? What did you get that arrow in? Jens is going to put down the bow. Careful, it's very poisonous right now. And I'm going to... Sugar, it's very poisonous right now and I'm gonna it's killing us I'm gonna

pull out a time dagger and I'm gonna twirl it my father, but it was just you playing some sick game. So not only am I going to destroy you, but I'm going to undo the crime you made us commit, and I shove the dagger into the eye, I'm gonna try to yank out the stone And then I want to use the bonus action to healing word the body if the dude's still alive at all Give me an insight check before you do this. Okay You can roll with advantage. I've got healing hands. So I will help you I'll try to help you with the heal. Five.

Five? Yeah. All right, you go in hard on this eyeball and you see kind of as you're prying at it, the pastel kind of glimmer and it fades away and it just becomes a normal eye again. And you see as you're doing this, you look over to the hand and the hand is just gripping this sword so tight and so hard. It's just become like a clump of crystal, and you see that that's kind of where the power is concentrated. Oh, it wasn't the eye. Sorry about that, dude.

I have a dagger out of his eye, and I guess I'll try to wrestle the arm down. But you do want to heal him? Um, yeah. Okay. Let's all... Everyone get in here. I would like to pin him? Yeah, okay, let's let's all everyone get in here I would like to pin him down away from the sword. Yes, hold him down And then I want to the side of his body. That's like less fucked up. Okay, I want to heal. Okay, awesome great Go ahead and roll some dice for that sweet. I'll do it at a second level, why not? That's not great, it's nine?

Nine? Yeah. You see the eye that's remaining, the pastel flame kind of fades from it. There's a spark of life just barely hanging on in there. Just really quick, blink twice. If you killed my dad, blink once if you didn't. It just stares forward and a tear rolls out of it.

Alright, fine. I think that's all I blink, brother. Calm down, man. Is it just me or had blink three times? Yes. I saw three blinks. There were no blinks. There were no blinks.

Everyone pay attention. You see this hand that is holding the shard saber just starts rambling and shaking. You see the shards on it really start to like charge up with this arcane power. We've got to open it up. I hover my mall over his right hand and say, you want me to get rid of this? I think so. And then I chop the arm off. I know you had what it took.

Now my champion is fallen, and you have risen to take his place. I won't call on you when the moment is right. Enjoy this power while it's still yours. Just try, bitch. You're going straight to voicemail. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, it's still yours. Just try, bitch. You're going straight to voicemail. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, good one. As you chop this arm off, you see, rast pops back to life,

but also in the same moment, the shards on the shoulder, these big, spiky paldrons, just shudder and vibrate, and then all of a sudden, they blast off in all directions, like porcupine quills. I need you all to give me a dexterity saving throw. Oh no. Net 20. Oh shit.

16 for me. Okay, 24. Fuck, you all pass. Sweet. You all dodge these shards. And then you see after these big shards have launched off, the smaller ones just fall off this severed arm kind of like rain on a leaf. All of the crystal except for the crystal saber.

That still remains. And you see that still has a faint flicker to it. But the arm is back and then you look over at rest and you see him barely clinging to life. Where am I? You're on mercurio ship and I am very sorry that you are waking up one less arm. Oh, oh, that's not great. Yeah, we should put some pressure on that. Depending on if you remember dueling someone named Las Lake, Lindell, and then chopping his head off, do you remember that? Of course I remember Jens. How could I forget? I've had to live for that moment every day since then. Now that Verlis's grasp is loosened on me, there's something you must know,

your father. He was a good man, an incredible blade singer, but he was more than that. He was my half brother. So you're my half uncle. In a way, yes. And mine as well. I have so many half siblings. Nothing's more important than family. I love my uncle. No.

Uncle is right. You look good with only one arm. Uncle. Uncle Rast. Uncle Rast. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha his son out of wedlock. He could never claim the child, but he wanted to do right by him, so he gave the boy to the court's master of blades to raise his own. I was born a year later, and your father and I grew up as brothers. We played and fought and trained every day, but as we grew, your father's skill at the sword began to rapidly surpass my own.

I was content with this, though. For I knew one day I would sit upon the throne, and he would serve as my master of blades, and all would be well. However, if intially, your father grew tired of the forest. He met a city elf named Lixana, your mother, and started a family. My mom too. Yes, of course. Hi. The resemblance is cyber interrupting.

Uncanny, no! He's also my mom, that's all. No, this is my uncle. You're my quarter-hunk, no? Niaq, be careful around all that slippery blood. Oh! Let him in the moment, he's dying! God damn it!

Your father wanted to go to Ilavas, the Elven High City, and pursue his dream of becoming a blade-singer. His decision angered me and I asked my father to forbid it, but he refused, saying that unlike me, last lake was not bound by duty, and could pursue his dreams as he saw fit. And so he left, and I languished for years and years, a drift without my brother's cheerful guidance. Eventually, my father's health began to fail, and I knew that soon I would be called to rule, and so in that moment of heated desperation, I departed for Ilavoss to make one final plea.

As a blade-singer, he was bound to accept my request if I defeated him in a duel, but I knew this would never happen. And so I used my royal connections to claim a forgotten relic from the vault of Ilavoss. A sword crafted from a shard of moon crystal, known only as the Beckening Void. His eyes dart over to the blade that his severed hand still tries to grip but can't. My plan worked. The sword's power coursed through me, and I was finally able to go blow for blow with your father. I was ecstatic at the thought of reclaiming my old life, our old life, but as Laslik bowed his head into feet, I heard a raspy, terrible voice in my head, and it said, life, where you have now become the hand that shall fulfill my glorious purpose. And then my hand moved on its own and your father died.

Jens, I'm so sorry. After that I had no choice but to dedicate myself to Verlis's will and we attempted to seek out the Genennarac crystals, which he told me he needed for his grand designs, though I know not what they were. I infiltrated the Golden Ivers Society and murdered your parents onyx, but the crystals avoided my grasp yet again. So I formed the dread horizon and doubled my efforts, And so I formed the dread horizon and doubled my efforts. But now, at long last, my journey is ended. Onyx, Nyak, and Jins.

Sweet Jins. Thank you. For setting me free. Please, you owe me nothing, but I must still ask. You must go to the Grey Chaos, the twelfth of the edge of reality. The realm known as the Perifera, there you will find Verlis and his crystal prison, but you will also find a means of destroying these accursed gyms. Go there and destroy them both,

for they have ruined more than enough lives. Gyms, I'm sorry for everything. Watching you fight filled me with joy I had long forgotten. It was like those days in the courtyard dueling with your father once again. You are your father's son, and he would be so proud. And as he says this, you see his eyes begin to fade, and life begins to slip from him.

But I'm gonna say, because you healed him, I'm gonna let him do some death saving throws. Sweet. So let's do that right now. I imagine you've pulled out a medical kit and tried to stop the bleeding. I actually am gonna say. He said like you freed me.

Yeah. Toys is yours. Yeah. I think I'm gonna look I bet these guys with healing hands. He doesn't know what's going on But I'm like looking at gents being like I can try to help this healing process or You you make the call His eyes are damn any smiling

I I weep for you, Honkul. But... All of this... is your fault. You chose to do these things... that led you down this path. You're right. I re-built against my fate fate and chose the easy way.

There are ways to claim your own destiny, but mine was the Galvat's path. Now please, Jens, let me do it once more in the Verdantian Gardens with your father. It would be my honor, Uncle, and I chop his head off. He goes to his grave with a smile on his face. And you are out of initiative. You see Blavin and Norwalk and Z have polished off the other pirates. How'd the pirate fight go, guys? Surprisingly tough, actually. How was your fight?

Motionally devastating. Okay, it seemed like you were basically just taking practice swings for a while. Yeah, we kicked ass, but emotionally kicked our ass. So kind of a win-lose situation, huh? Yeah, one for one? Indeed. Hey. Blavin, are you, um, are you a wise man?

Blavin, uh, takes an enormous swig from his very tall Margarita staff. He says, something works like so. Cool. I think, um, I am good. Thank you. He offers you a sip. Uh, no, thank you. He offers you a sip. No, thank you.

I'm watching my figure. That was a real roller coaster there for a second. I was like, I'm still mad. I'm going to kill him. But then he was like, I took the easy path. And then I was like, well, the easy path would be killing him. So I'm not going to do that. But then he wanted to die.

And then I was like, OK, maybe I'll kill him. I don't know. Did I do the right thing? Is that, is this okay? You're so kind. All right, good. I already forgot who the hell we're talking about. How do I have more conscience than you? You tried to stand up since you fell.

I just, it feels like there's blood, whoa, oh, everywhere. Maybe this isn't the wisdom you wanted to hear, but you know, we've all lived a long life. We've all seen some dark shit. I say we all take a drink and keep moving. I could use a drink. How are you doing on X? I know he killed your parents. Not you're also hey, um, so

about you and the crystal stuff. Yeah, that kind of lie. So this kind of led to my uncle killing my father. I find why I am being quiet and was seeking out wisdom right now. Honestly, if you're looking for wisdom, you can talk to me. Okay, Naya. Naya, I don't know if I can even continue to use this crystal flail, but I cannot defeat this man without this crystal flail. Well, technically, I summon a weapon that is not the crystal flail, so I fight with them all, but...

I love how complicated the description of he is. I'm sure you would. I'm sure you would, what? Ah, nothing. I don't know what will happen if I just get rid of this crystal flail. But I can't get rid of it because getting rid of it, it's someone it will just go into someone else's hands. Is there anything to adding to your weapon?

We have these Ginerac crystals. The one is from your family. It might help you control it in some way. I don't know. Yeah. I certainly want to scoop up all of these shards that fell like raindrops from a leaf. Beautiful poetry. I would like to bring them to someone so that someone can possibly tell me like what if

there is any way to you know cleanse a crystal of its negative energies. Cool. So you gather those up? Yeah. Great. Let's put that in a bag or something. Let's not have you carrying it. I have no need for your gloves at the moment. Do I, brother? Would you honor me?

Wow, it really just hit me. I don't need my gloves anymore. Jen takes a lap. Except when it's cold. Yeah, I'll save a couple gloves anymore. Jen takes a lap. Except when it's cold. Yeah, I'll save a couple gloves. We only need two now. You see keychain is wearing two of your gloves and is dropped to his knees and says, Hunkle! I miss you!

Er, er, er, wah-haha! Wah-haha! And when you're related to keychain as well, you're not even related to the hunkle. So you take the shards. Yes. You also see next to the shards this beautiful sword, it seems like it's got like an elven crafted hilt that is built into this long thin shard. Do you want to take that as well?

It is also put in a bag. Yes, I think so. Unless I don't know, I think so. Unless I don't know, I mean, you could consider wielding it. Me? I don't know. Does it, is it like,

powered by the same crystal? Give me... Arcana? Okay. Actually, why don't you both give me our connoirals? Okay. I got a natural one. Oh no. I got a 12. 12. I eat it. I guess as it looked more like there's a thing. Yeah. You can definitely still feel kind of

this pastel pulse coming off of it. You get the sense that Onyx's weapon has become the prime weapon now. And this is almost like the lieutenant weapon by defeating the champion wielder Onyx has become the champion and can use that power but maybe called upon to perform a dark deed at some point. Onyx. While you're pondering that, I want to double back to what Jens was saying about the Ginnaract crystals. Inspect the one you have. Give me investigation or orcana. I'll give you a help action. I'll look at it with you.

Okay. 11. 11. So, you hold your mace in one hand and you hold your Ginnaract crystal, the moon crystal in the other hand. Beyond a sense that they are oppositely balanced, you can't really get anything. You don't think you have the training

to purify a curse or instill a curse someone that is un-curseed, you don't have that skill set, but you do get the sense that one is cursed and one is pure, and that they are opposite forces. Mercario. Yes? Do you know any powerful spellcasters who can remove a curse from a crystal?

I've got several in my employ. Of course, I would need a hefty payment for something like that. We are cash pourer at the moment. I've got many butter finger BBs. Because I do like to never have to eat again in your life. You know I gave you those babies, right? You recall? Right. I know that this is a tender moment that we are all having here, but again, as previously declared, I have laid claim to these crystals. So some sort of payment or reparation needs to come to being. Maybe

now is the time to strike a deal? What do you want to do with them? That's a good question. As you know, they are powerful relics. They contain a lot of energy. Man like me has much need for energy, resources. I have a lot of machines, a lot of factories that need power and I will put them to good. Eliminate waste, eliminate the need for excess workers, excess fuel, excess in general. Cut costs, you know what I'm saying. Mercario, I cannot brooch the subject just yet. I want to give you a counter offer. My counter offer is I have in my company 64 gold pieces. If I give you 64 gold pieces, have you any way to contain a cursed item so that I may carry it with me

but not use it? Just to clarify, you have 364 gold pieces. You got 300 gold for giving the Gennaratt crystals to the benefactor initially. Blavin paid you up front. Oh, well, I'm not gonna use our, that's like our money. Oh, so I'll just offer the 64. Yeah, and I don't wanna let him know I have more money either. That's great.

Just 64, total. That's all. That is all. mercurio kind of scoffs at you You lowball on me missy. It's a simple item. I am perhaps could find it elsewhere We do like an insight checker something to see I want to see if he's bullshitting what he's doing I'll give you a help action. Thank you Okay, that's pretty good. That is a 16 on the first one if he's bullshitting, what he's doing? I'll give you a help action. Thank you. Okay. That's pretty good. That is a 16 on the first one, 17 on the second one.

That's pretty good. Mercuria wants these crystals and he'll do whatever it takes to get them. Does it seem like he has an ulterior motive or is he just a business, does it seem like there's like a sinister edge to this or is he just a capitalist? Is he Shinra or is he just a business? He just oozes greed. Okay.

Listen, we'll be arriving in Vayna Doss by nightfall. Perhaps you can join me for dinner and we can discuss how much you'd like for these much sought after little bobbles. Why don't we talk it over over dinner? I am a bit, I'm a bit hungry. Yes, I need to discuss with my friends what it's gonna mean to be a warlock without a patron. I sucked on a Butterfinger baby

so I won't be hungry until next week. Lovely, but I'll sit at the dinner table with you guys. Well, I'm glad we could avoid some ugly a discourse. All right, well, time to go. So Mercurio heads back to the cockpit, and you sweep up the shards and prepare to leave. But as you do, you remember there's still five pirate ships floating right above you.

Oh. Oh. Oh. You look up and you have no captain. We should have got your uncle to call them off. Right. So. Someone take a can we burn it? Can we weaken that burnies?

Is he wearing a captain's hat? Don't we just put the mask on or something? We don't need to, oh he does have a mask. You share genetics with him. You should do it for 10 to be there, Captain. So as you stand on the deck, trying to weaken it, Bernie's the dead body of rest, you see a tiefling woman with a sinner's mark tattoo

on her face looking at you all through a telescope from a top the bow of the black ship. Huh! That's what I thought! Yep! She collapses the telescope, pulls out a megaphone and says, hey guys! I was right! He's dead!

The captain's dead! That means we can finally do real pirate shit again. And you hear all the pirates start to cheer. Woohoo! Yeah! Yeah! Pirate shit! Pirate shit! Pirate shit! Are they saying pirate shit or ship? Both, absolutely. And you see this tiefling who was the first mate, but is now the new captain of the Dread Horizon,

lifts her cutlass into the air and says, Attack! Oh! That's not real pirate shit at all. I was ready to join you. You see all five ships turn their cannons onto your ship and prepare to fire. Mercurio, we must go quickly.

And that is where we'll end our session. Oh, K. We can't forget about the pirates. 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1%, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1 %, 1, 1%, 1 %, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 個 There we go. You got to you got a mind to the pyre. Classic candy and there are five ships. Yeah, I should not forget about about five ships. You know what above you? This is my playmat. It is nice. Tell you what. you got to keep that play-mat in your mind nice and sharp theater of the mind's a little tricky when it comes to Giant Pirate ships right above you. That is true. Oh boy. I'm excited for next time. What a Emotional sash. I can't believe I got to throw that dagger that was dope. That was so good. I have to look into the logistics of whether or not I'm going to just not have a patron anymore.

Yeah, maybe get a cool one. I don't know. Yeah, I guess I think, well, I'll talk about it on the short rest. Yeah, we got to talk about it on the short rest. What a great session, great work everybody. Thank you all so much for listening. As always, I've got a few shout outs I like to do. Henry A, thank you for the D&D Beyond subscription, which helps me build my own little hex blade warlock. Very fun.

Of course, I didn't get to do jack shit with him. Thanks, Henry. That's also your fault. Thanks for helping me get wombed, Henry Jesus. Daniel Raymos, thank you for the sound mixing. You can find them on Instagram at Dr. Schubert, that's Dr. S-C-H-U-B-I-R-D, or DanielRamos.com. And thanks as always to Yens Christian T for composing some of the music you heard in this episode. Yens, a little known fact, actually the Trinavalian God of Music in disguise.

Whoa. Just something to be aware of, if you were planning on ambushing him, and stealing artifacts from his home. Wow. Yep, just a little heads up there. Again, this is always so fun. Thanks for playing with me. This has been your donkall called well. Donkall's in honkles. Thanks, Gibbons. Fillin' out. What are we doing, what are we doing, honkall?

This week it is Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, don't go for got to buy anything. So it's ice cream thanks you. See you later gang. Bye. It's the end of the show, everybody, and that means I need to shout out our benevolent council of elders starting with Brad D, the only pebble pot that isn't Craven. Also has the best gum health of any pebble pot because the rest of his family is afraid of floss.

J. Loma, 72, aka Steelbreak, or Hard One's Jim Spiration, also Hard One's Sauna Spiration, no one gets a sweat on like J. Loma. Dylan B is Sword-Wielding Wizard surrounded by a floating army of blades at all times, has a secret handshake with said blades and is missing a lot of fingers. Danny P. Bohumi is resident artist, painted hard one senior portrait at the doorfinage, hard one is planning on autographing the portrait when he returns to Iron Deep, which will not improve its worth in any way whatsoever. Spencer Caskbrew, patronelder of libations, ale maker to gods and heroes of Bohumi alike,

recently collabed with the chosen on a very milky stout that was entirely non-alcoholic and was kind of just milk. Beardman Dan, the longest beard in all of Bohemia, also the longest beer in Bohemia, Beardman Dan has a style in the size of a walking stick. Hermes W, the Bat King, got hit on by Norwalk at a trim fluencer event, but honestly, who didn't? Spartus, a wizard in a blizzard, Spartus cast control weather because they like when their long white beard blends in with the elements. Atomar, the R-rated assassin, has been known to do the Jens Lindell nude sword dance and purposely not hide their privates.

Danielle, the dastardly dame, Danielle is so dastardly she wrote a fake letter to Taron as Beverly saying he missed him. Whoa, fucked up. QC, aka, Howdor Frostback, MVP of the Giant Wars, Crudin the SS Stormborn, and fought alongside Elias and Red. Also did a bunch of arcane alongside Elias and Red. They weren't great influences on each other.

Danielle U, aka, Multifor the many-facedfaced magician, no Trinsta selfie is ever the same. Jordan DJ, legendary DJ of the realm, in honor of NIAC, Jordan is making a playlist entirely made of jam bands. Jeffre S, Lord of the Fjord, Born of the Sword, and newly unmoored. Yes, Jeff is taking a sailing trip, a bond voyage. Cutter W, a high-elf-dandy-turned-crick barcatech actually designed the stump of moonshine used for her stump speech. John S. aka, super-the-mushroom recently sold a bag of some of his spores to Maveris to help him chill after the Wizard tournament. Ryan M. Hardwan's Ram, knowing that Hardwan and Cock-Overear United fills Ryan with joy.

Ryan is next, and they honestly cannot wait. Elena C., a wizard who is so smart they get dumber when they wear the thinking cap. How does that work? It makes no sense. Well, Elena understands and you don't. Michael McD, head mixologist at the Blumana Inn, created the only margarita to ever say Blavans thirst. He was only able to drink 19 of them, astoundingly low number.

Andrew M., a monocorn who lost their horn, so kind of just a horse, but Andrew has the unmistakable, beautiful voice of all monocorns. Victor T. Boundersboy, whose loving dad was ripped from his family and transported to another world. Now who will take them skiing on Ischkel and so del this winter. Just an eye, the first person to do a backflip off the Glade Home Water Park also the first person to break their spine at the Glade Home Water Park. Jacob C and Ork who is so skinny they are constantly getting confused for a drought. Jacob has never corrected anyone's assumptions.

Elena M. Jens Lindell's loan officer, Elena felt bad repossessing Jens's car but Jens can't keep paying his bills with dances. Mick Pox, the amazing co-master who programmed our website, being borderline harassed by Onyx to hack Keith Stiems. Earl and Kathleen L, a succubus and incubus who have a perfectly co-dependent sex life and never need to have four sums or need anyone's souls to be happy, good on you, too.

Jive G, Mama's newest suitor, presented at Mama with a dish of raw trash, and she absolutely aided up. Jostritch, the jock ostrich, despite all of Jostritch's squats, they still carry all their muscle-up top, keep at it, Jostritch. Damn you all, Ram Daniels evil twin, shaved their horns nice and pointy in order to poke anyone who tries to ride them. They saw what happened to their brother. Destincy, the only green teen with more patches than Beverly.

Destin also has two humor patches and one of them is Beverly's. That one hurts. Devin Bee, the bodega lord, newly rich ever since they started selling a vape fluid, but it weighs heavily on Devin's conscience. Sergio sells our Solomon Sakarias De Sakwani,'s 7th of his name is sexy Peruvian snake folk with sweet snake patterns on his skin. Sergio just shed his original snake skin and would you believe it? The snake patterns underneath it were even sexier.

Michael L. a bullywug with drugs. Michael is always holding arcane and always dodging frenic texts from hard one wondering where they are. Same age, Alonus Dealer. Mostly gets their supply from Michael the Bullywug Drug Delivery Service. Michael's prices are super low and Alonus has no idea. Traylay, the cray-fay who is out on the bay,

that's right, Traylay is on that beautiful sailing trip with Jeffery S. Aaron G, master the banishment spell. Aaron wants banished a parking ticket so they wouldn't have to pay it and then banished a judge when they found out that didn't get them off the hook. Jor-E-S, a Jack Wizard. Jor-orias Staff is actually a barbell with a 45 on each side, dude wields it one hand and two.

Alucard, a reverse Dracula, Alucard sleeps standing up instead of upside down, which is actually still pretty unsettling. Baby Doc, the only doctor that ever performed their own C-section, they also closed up the incision, trapping their twin inside, fucked up baby doc. Atom H, the oldest orphan at the dwarf inage, Atom H is 40 and should absolutely not be allowed to live there. Ryan, hard ones ram, showing up on this list again because that's just how much they miss their daddy. Ryan loves you hard one. Big Buck, pregnant elk moonshines, Elken baby, super interested in being raised by a lover

of all creatures, tender friend of the animals, and responsible pet owner, Hard One Shorefoot. Richard X Machina introduced the Crick to Pickling, which is something they'd been doing for a long time, they just called it Jarring. Troy McSeed, Jensland L.'s neighbor, who is very upset about the shirtless guy living on the roof. Kenoblesa Kathulua, chosen soldier who eats their own kin, so I guess they're on our side? Sam L, a tween age rogue, who exclusively uses their stealth to sneak into R-rated movies

maybe once they stole some popcorn, also they took a car from the parking lot. Dom R, another keychain, but not one that turns into a robot. Dom R is a bottle opener, arguably just as useful. Josh S, aka cyborg, Josh the cobalt moonchin is leveled up so she can just as easily chuck the super heavy robot off the roof of a castle look out bro. Blitzberg Demetri, owner of Dorgers Big Borgor, Blitzberg is planning on opening a store in Triniville, but they're gonna need to get that liquor license if they want Blavin to eat there.

Caleb Storm, cut Baron Quartz grade haul also responsible for charging the rumble because Quartz leaves a lot of crumbs. Nicholas C has starred in every single movie ever made in Bahumia, for some reason starring in the biopic about their own life, please Nick, take a vacation. Mike H. Rennes Butler, it seems thankless, but Mike has been systematically robbing Rennes for years and is absolutely loaded. Matthew E. A human who rides around in a gnome--sized techno-mac, it defies the laws of physics but anything is possible in Dunkles World.

Samuel B. The monk with junk in the trunk, Samuel B. Has such a plump romp, is back, has a giant hump. Till for G. author of the hit children's book and movie, Elfgar goes punch, Elfgar was set to play himself before Nicholas C. stepped in and wowed, Tillford and the other producers with their audition. Colton B. Holds a record for longest time in the Time Out sack, Colton B went in 14 years ago and is not emerged. Yens Christian T taught Jens Lindell everything he knows except how to lease an affordable, sensible

sedan. Gage M, the last green teen left in Glateron, Gage stopped by the pebble pots to see if they were around and someone maced them through the letter slot. Aaron C, the homeless man that was used by the The Band Of Boobs To Distract The Chosen Back In Galator On But In Trinnyvale, Aaron lives like a king. All of their hot tubs come with hot dogs, sling, and halflings. L&D, The Fierces Woman of Bohemia, Ellen, is also the fiercest woman in all of Trinnyvale, but in Trinnyvale, it's a Beyonce style fierce, which means they wear body suits and put

on a mean, joust, half-time show. TJM, the gnome, barbarian, has caught Onyx's eye on more than one occasion. RPKB, R2D2's less helpful cousin, downloaded keychains of vocal mimicry patch, and has been using it exclusively on Borad Impressions. Taylor S, aka, Trusted Traveler runs a highly lucrative travel trinstagram, and you've been a believer every post ends with hashtag spawn. Anime Intellect, Trinivale's number one mech head runs a show called Dec, My Mech, in which they upgrade and decorate people's old and outdated mech suits. Zolo Dolo, a Trinivalean astronaut who's been to the moon, which actually isn't that impressive,

space travel is pretty common, so they're basically a flight attendant. Joshua C, a knight who wears a haunted mech suit, and by haunted we mean it is filled to the guild with bugs and desperately needs a software update. Larissa J. A. Time at Dagger Manufacturer whose cronomancy is unparalleled but wishes more people would notice the attention to detail in their handles. Dylan C. M. The wannabe DM is said to be so versatile they can go from daddy to dunkel in 3 seconds flat. Kelvin Noodle's the post-elemental, desperate to test at NIAC's slippery feet with some of their most potent,

post-agent, aka Marinera sauce. Be money, Boundor's hip-hop alter ego, feuding so hard with Boundor that they retreated to Trittyvale where they're headlining the benefactor's music festival, Benefactor Root. J and ice cream joint that scoops their ice cream with chronoscopers. Basically, you getAY, an ice cream joint that scoops their ice cream with cronoscopers. Basically you get to eat your ice cream and go back in time and eat it again.

THE DREAM. Heartless Master, interned with Verlyse back when they were still just heartless apprentice. C.C.Lulu, a skysher pirate who loves the sky the way sailors love the sea, writes lots of sky shanties about how their life, their love, and their lady is the sky. Paul B. Acarots Assistant, although Verlyis Lord of Chaos has been trying to poach them with a pretty generous benefits package. Barnes and Adoramonacorn barn that is totally peaceful and has never witnessed any murders. How nice!

Eric G. also wields a cursed crystal that murdered their parents, but unlike Onyx, it's just kind of owning it. Jackalope Audity, the drummer of Pendergreens' favorite new metal band, Ratnuts. Onyx also gets down with Ratnuts and is lost obsidian in the Moss Pit on more than one occasion. SEXC accidentally installed a dimension door door knob on their front door, but every time they go to change it, they get transported. Aidenar can also summon a Shadow Spector, but mostly uses it for coffee grunts. L.E.K., a moonicorn who upgraded their helis to cycles, which are tiny motorcycles you

fit to your hooves. Luke Gage, the drunken monk who trained Blavin, actually has been straight edge all their life, just studies and imitate drunk people really well. I'm hopeless, a down on their luck adventurer accidentally cut themselves with a time dagger while peeling an apple and has been frozen for three days. Timmy R, the trainly valiant janitor who accidentally dumped a hole, seasons worth of strawberry preserves into their floor cleaner and has unweightingly become the bane of Niax existence.

Alex Sam, a ranger whose hunter's mark is actually a henna butterfly does both Niax and Onyx proud. Aaron R.S., a reverse butcher who uses a time cleaver, which turns a burger back into a cow and a pork chop back into a pig. Lucas B, a sword dancer barred who won Trinnyvale's sword dancing with the stars, three seasons in a row. Ruben A, a hex-blade warlock whose packed weapon is a slingshot, very Dennis the Menace, in fact, that's the name of the mysterious entity they made their packed with. Jordan L, the greatest tuba player in Bahomia, Jordan is a half-ling, so it's super impressive and super cute.

Laura S, a member of the known marching band that backs Jordan L, called the Tee-hee Stompers. Jay Parker, the first player to hit a so-so trick playing the giant shredder game at Smuggler's Bounty, also the first player to beef it so hard, they break both of their arms in real life. Austin C, the jester mage, Austin can cast a 9th level fireball and juggle reasonably well for some reason Austin is more proud of the juggling. Austin MR, aka the butcher known as Bonsa, currently in jail for several unsolved murders

and go later on because they're constantly going around telling people they're the butcher known as Bonsa. Just a pissed off, Triss aka touch it, a pop star in Bohemia who got their start writing songs for Turbo Timmy Tuna toys. Kaylee Elise, the honey queen with a heart of gold, mortal enemy of Elise Kaylee, the molasses queen with a heart of shit. Dave J bail in the bar, a traveling bar that follows the band of boobs around, singing the tales of their exploits.

Unfortunately, bailin' also sings of their failures, including the original song, na na na na, Gemma is dead. Dev and W, a teen heartthrob in Hill Home, who would have made the Irland Beverly situation even worse had they stuck around any longer. Shinowa B, another teen heartthrob, currently dating Dev and W, and making the front pages of the Hill Home Tiger Beat.

Jared E, an as-re-cool kid who rides around on an arcade motorcycle, it's freaking rad. Brian, Pendergost's roommate decided to move out after Pendergreens declared that paying his half of the rent was four knobs. Persephone, the only goddess in both the Greek and Bahumian, Pantheon. Joseph M. the half-orc bard, Ish. Joseph attended Bahumia's bard college a val- a val- aor, but flunked out because they spent too much time playing Ultimate Frisbee with Maveris. Reese and S, one of Maveris' friends who got a beach house for the summer, Reese You Lucky

Son of a Gun. Jackie, the only person besides Jivelin who enjoys Shadowfell, Jackie loves nothing more than a plate full of soup and a neck full of vampire bites. Haley, an avid yelper in Trinny Vale, who single-handedly sunk Jen's stripping career with one star Yelper Reviews. Eric and Andrea B, an adventuring duo who are celebrating 11 years of marriage for their honeymoon, Petri did caricatures of them as ice skaters. Steve and C, a high-elvin lawyer who once practiced at the Cric, had the dubious honor of losing

to pop on a wrestling match and thus, doing their client to jail. Diane W. a professional wrestler down at the Crick, aka much sought after lawyer down at the Crick. Maxwell C. the richest Crick elf who ever lived, just happened to be born under a tree made entirely of brown leaves. Mike, K. A. Bohumi and Wizard even more powerful than Alonus, if Mike would just step in, we would all be saved. Where are you, Mike? Michael M. an equally powerful wizard, though Michael M. is super evil. Perhaps the two mics just have an agreement, then neither of them will get involved. Omri M. the only green teen with more attitude than a Gwain was recently kicked out for showing children how to use butterfly knives. Kale-Amel, the friendliest scullywug in Shadowfell will still betray you, but we'll do it with a

smile on their face. Charo Arcadeus, a tiefling warlock whose tail has a mind of its own, Charo loves ill-set, whereas their tail is more of a theola head. Honestly, they're both bad. Scott D wants one to duel with nothing but a pillow, they were fighting a pixie and the pixie was sleeping, but still. Elijah Phelps, an awakened bear ranger whose animal companion is a human. That human? A milio estavez himself. And finally, Andrew A invented the most powerful airship in all of Bohumia.

Unfortunately it was too powerful and Andrew flew it directly into the sun. Oh no, Andrew A. That is it for this week. Thank you guys so much for listening. Thank you to all of our Patreon subscribers and to all of our Council of Elders. We'll be back next week with another episode at Trinny Vale. We'll catch you guys later. You can head on over to patreon.com slash nadpot. If you listen to the after show, the short rest, goodbye!