Not Another D&D Podcast - Trinyvale One-Shot: Enter the Media Dimension

Episode Date: April 12, 2024

The Trinyvale Triplets dive into a strange digital realm in order to save Television from an old foe! Onyx and Nyack share a bond, and Jens gets suspicious as our heroes attempt to survive the perils and pratfalls of… THE MEDIA DIMENSION!CREDITSMixing and Sound Design - Daniel Ramos (@Schubirds on Twitter & @Dr.Schubird on IG)Trinyvale Intro and Outro by Emily AxfordLogo Design by Chelsea LeCompteSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Thanks for listening, folks. This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to Trinnevale. Oh, Trinnevale! Oh, it's been too long! Oh, that just awoke something dormant within me. Friends from the ashes of time, your dungeon uncle, AKA Dunkle Caldwell Tanner, has returned.

Welcome back, Dunkle. Thank you. Thank you, it's so good to be back. But friends, I cannot be back by myself. I am back with friends. You can't scratch your back by yourself. What do we do in here? Yeah, you can. You can, don't lie to the audience. I can scratch my own back.

You can't scratch the good parts, though. I'm too freaking jacked to be able to do it. Exactly. Because my friends were spotting me when I was squatting and benching, and now my back is too jacked to scratch by myself, and that's why I've got my professional back scratching squad, starting with Brian Murphy. Honored sir, Lord of the Dance and Friends super fans. How you doing? It's Jens Lindell. Wow.

Hold a Joey quote. Yeah, you got to. A quick Joey. Just a quick one. Hit it with a Joey. Yeah. Just a Joey jaunt. You gotta pivot, Onyx.

God damn it, I was trying to think of a friends quote and that was the one I gave in my head and now I can't. We were on a break. No, stop, you're using them, you're using them all. You're not gonna remember any of them. Think quick though, because we do have next in the order, Emily Axford. Victorian goss in a silly hat listening to Smelly Cat.

Oh! Oh! Oh, she did it. I knew my word. Thorian ghast in a silly hat listening to smelly cat I was my heart was racing Was a deep scratch yeah That was a good scratch. You're gonna sleep well tonight. See if Jake has a friend's quote ready to go Not one that's been mentioned. Oh my God. Yes, and of course last but not least, Jake Hurwitz. Nyack of the Rantaphore, played by Jake.

Listen up, folks. We were on a break. I said it had not been said before, and I said we were on a break already. You did? Tell him to do another one, Caldwell. Make him do another one. Did you do two? I really feel like you did two. You did? Tell him to do another one, Caldwell. What? Make him do another one. Did you do two?

I really feel like you did two. You took how you do it, you took pivot. I was just, I was rattling stuff off to troll Emily. Murph was cruelly using up all the most known ones. I think we'll see whose sounds better, Murph's or Jake's, but Jake, get a second one just to be safe. Yeah, get a second one, go ahead. Totally, totally, second one. We're waiting.

No issue at all. Um, uh, my friend's thing can't be that bad. Remember the one where, uh, Monica dated her, um, her dad, her dad's friend, her friend's dad. Her dad? The friend of her dad. The friend of her dad. The friend of her dad. The friend of her dad, friend's dad. The friend of her dad. The friend of her dad, the friend of her dad.

Not her dad, the friend of her dad. I think you misunderstood that episode. Yeah. Monica never dated her dad. Mayak, you were so offended. It was friend of dad, yeah, friend of her dad. That works. He did it.

I'm really glad that you are already in the TV reminiscing mindset, because that is going to be very helpful for this episode. But before we get too far ahead of ourselves. Wait, I have one. I have one. Okay. What? TV junkie, remember when they had a pet monkey.

Oh, Marcel. He was there at the very beginning and then got taken out early. I know. It's a deep cut. They didn't add him. I mean, he wasn't there in the first episode, I don't think, was he? I mean, he was taken out during the first season. I say taken out, like it's if he was shot or something.

He was a sniper. He was eradicated in season two. I believe the behind the scenes gossip is that they did not like shooting with Marcel. That's very fair. Because it was a pain in the ass to shoot with the monkey. Yeah. They didn't shoot Marcel. Well, they shot him in the way that you shoot a TV show.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they did cross shooting in that show where they shot him with a crossbow. No, no. They did it with two cameras. Now folks, as I mentioned, today's adventure takes place in the world of Trinnavale. If you are less familiar with this campaign, here is all you need to know. Our heroes, Jynns, the Elven Bard, Nyak, his shirtless half-elf, half-brother, and Onyx,

a social media sorcerer from the moon, started out their journey as normal adventurers. However, as time went on, these three realized that being noble warriors was super boring and decided to become unrepentant shitheads instead. Hell yeah. And so after defeating the big bad and saving the world, these three, who are affectionately known as the Trennavale Triplets,

have been taking a well-deserved break and vacationing in the various realms throughout the multiverse. From Bohemia to Sonic the Hedgehog's own home world of Mobius, No land is safe from the triplets and their toxic touch. But eventually all vacations must end. And so after arriving home from a debatably successful trip to Moonstone,

the triplets head to their extravagant mansion that they rent month to month just in time to catch the newest episode of their favorite British reality show, Snog Island. I hope they snog! I think they will. So Jens, you, Onyx, and Nyack, as well as your robotic friend Keychain, are all settling in for another exciting episode of Snog Island. You watched about 300 episodes of Friends on the Plains here, ready for something new. The new episode is coming out soon. It's about to start. What are you doing to prepare?

I think as this is happening, actually, knowing that we are going into this very serious reality TV, I turn to Jens and Nayaq and I say, I have been thinking. Trini Vail. TV. Are. Okay. Are we a reality show? Yeah.

Jens looks around suspicious. Whoa. I hope I got a generous cut. A gensorus cut. Are you getting my brother's good side? Yes, are we? Am I getting a villain cut? You have to tell me so I can play it up.

You know what? Just in case, I just grab a glass of wine and throw it at onyx. Jen's, you should go in the confession closet real quick and say something. All right. You have a confession closet? I don't know. I look for a closet. Keychain whispers to onyx.

No, I just thought it would be funny if I told him to go in the closet. Oh, OK. Jen's just goes in the closet and begins loudly talking shit about Onyx and Nyack. I don't even like either of them. What did I do? Let me confess. Wow, it is not soundproofed at all.

So Jens, you come back out of the closet just in time to hear the opening tunes of the Snog Island theme song, Start Up. There is a sweeping shot of an island shaped like lips as the announcer speaks. 12 people, 24 lips, one glorious month to kiss as many fit blokes and birds as you can. I'm so attracted to the island. I hope some of them have good chat.

This. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You see a shot of a young man with a side mullet speaking in a confessional booth. What's a side mullet? That's... It's just like a mullet, but it's all on the side. It's basically... Instead of party in the... Instead of business in the front, party in the back. It's party on the side, business on the other side.

I see. Hell yeah. It's like you took someone wearing a mullet wig and you just spun it a little bit. It actually makes a lot of sense party-wise and business-wise. It's more sense, right? Because you can, while talking to someone, say, oh, pardon me, give them the other side if they are looking for part of your business.

Yeah, because the back of your head, what does that do? Yeah. Especially for reality TV where you want to get your good side. You just put the mullet right there. Yeah. So it's kind of like just like a curtain of hair. Okay. So you see this young man with a side mullet.

He's speaking in the conventional booth. He's kind of flicking his side mullet to the side as he talks. This lower third next to his name reads Blunkston. Yeah. So today's challenge is to snog as many people as possible before sunrise. So I figured I'd invite Genevieve to snog in the Jacuz, but when I got there, I found out that Jermaine and Willoughby were already there. And to make matters worse, yeah, they'd eaten too many shrimps and they'd done a sick in the jacuzzi. So yeah, I don't know I got a snork somewhere else man, I guess Jen's gasps What?

Someone got sick does that mean they barfed? You see cuts of blunks and like opening various doors kind of snogging it now dying. All right. Ah, Jen starts crying. As the music intensifies, you see a pixelated image of a hot tub full of vomit intercut with Blungsten. Okay, I was worried it was appendicitis. Okay, why couldn't they just lean over the side of the hospital?

Suddenly, the show cuts off. You hear a loud, monotonous chime and see a strangely familiar logo appear on screen. The logo shows a bald man with goggles and a huge bushy mustache. Beneath it, you see text reading, welcome. God damn it. You see text reading, welcome Dr. Harvey can dope.

You see text reading, welcome to Robotnik Plus. No, Jen starts freaking out. And you were already freaking out. I smite the TV. You see the TV has some sort of weird shield over it, and your smite does nothing. No, take me back to a jacuzzi filled with vomit. I don't have CERBISES. Don't touch that dial, and it wouldn't matter if you did.

I've taken over every television in the known universe. Ha ha ha ha. Can we play DVDs? Ha ha ha ha. Please stop saying you can play DVDs. Can we play DVDs? You see tiny little robot hands come out of your Blu-ray player and just start gulping up the DVDs.

No! My friend's season! Gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp. Wait, only episode seven left. Hey, I was going to eat those. Give them back. We only have season 7 left! Hey I was going to eat those, give them back! The screen switches to a studio, inside of which you see Robotnik and a blonde woman clad in all black leather standing behind a giant computer screen. Robotnik is wearing a glittery red suit and holding a small microphone.

His mustache twitches excitedly as he continues. That's right. I, Dr. Robotnik, have taken over all television. If you ever want to watch your favorite shows again or reruns of Friends, you'll need to subscribe to my exclusive streaming channel, Robotnik Plus. On expense. Fine, I take out my credit card.

Wait, wait, do we know anyone with a login, brother? That's a great question. Yes! Haha! On expense! Fine! I take out my credit card. Wait, wait, do we know anyone with a login? That's a great question. Do you have a login, Nyak? We won't be allowing multiple logins! Everyone has to get their own, even people in the same household! That's bullshit! On expense again!

The blonde woman standing next to Robotnik presses a button and the Robotnik Plus logo appears on the large screen behind them. She then seductively runs her hand through the bristles of Robotnik's mustache. Who is this? Are they gonna snog? Okay, actually this is kind of hot. But don't worry, I will have legacy content, I'll have friends reruns and so much more, but I'll have brand new shows as well as live events

In fact to kick things off in just 24 hours We'll be streaming the live execution of Sonic the Hedgehog and his little friend Tails. Okay Okay, we're definitely signing up Is this just do you do I talk to the TV to give my credit card number or? Can we do a free trial? Can we just do a free trial to live until the hog is killed and then we'll cancel? I wanna see the killing.

I think it's only 15 minutes. Is it going to be short? The woman in black presses another button and you see the screen flip around to reveal Sonic and Tails change to the wall in thick metal costume. Oh! Robotnik cackles as they struggle against their shackles. Use the link below to subscribe to Robotnik

Plus for the low, low price of $200,000 a month. What? That's actually a lot. That's so stupid. Now, I'm supposed to have a Netflix, a Hulu, and this? No, it's gonna be all bundled together. He's talking to you somehow. Okay.

Okay, so this is Kebal again. And that is the introductory price. It will go up to one million... One million dollars. Yeah, either! Because it generally won't last. By the end of the year, of course. I've gotta appease the investors somehow.

So this is the plan. You pay me $200,000 a month or you can kiss your precious TV time goodbye. Robotnik out! The Robotnik Plus logo appears on screen, followed by a URL for where to subscribe. In the background, you see the blonde woman and Robotnik start furiously making out. They're snogging. Sure. I need to see more of that snog. I love a good snog. Okay. After a moment the feed cuts out and you see that keychain kind of inspects the TV thinking for a second. Hmm, we could pay the subscription price or perhaps. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, the problem is that I'm not super liquid at the moment.

I was going to say, do you have any money on your credit cards? You know, I think I'm technically like a prince or a king or something. I remember marrying into royalty at one point, but I haven't seen my partner in, God, it's been a long time. Gens, we could also,

we could always sell some of your assets. Why don't we sell your car? It's always in the shop anyway. Right, yeah, no. Still in the shop, unfortunately. And we're not gonna get as much value until it's fixed. What if we went to like see like Royal Bursar or like whoever controls the money and said,

hey, we're here to change our subscription plan. We could, that's a good idea. That's definitely a good idea. But I don't know that we necessarily want this guy in charge of all TV. Like what if he starts making- What if we get internships? If we get internships there,

they'll have to give us a login. Okay, I'll knock on the TV real quick. Excuse me, Dr. Kintobur? That's Robotnik's real name, right? Of course, Robotnik's real name. Before he became Dr. Robotnik, the letters scrambled around. Yeah, yeah, Dr. Kintobur? Do you have a page program?

Excuse me, do you have any internships that would allow us to get a free logins? Keychain is standing directly behind you. I think I've figured it out. The connection has been ended, but if you allow me to do this, Keychain pulls a cord from his finger and jams it into the back of the screen. You see his eyes become a blur of binary

and the TV starts to flicker. After a moment, the colors on the screen melts into a rippling prism of light and the surface becomes almost liquid. I have reopened the connection. You should be able to dive into the television now. I pushed Jumzinn. I pushed Nyak in. Oh, what?

Ah! I pull Hanek in. Wait, wait, before everyone goes in. He was able to create a pocket plane known as the Media Dimension. I believe all of the content has been stored there. I've created a plane shift portal which you can use to access it. I'll need to stay on this side to maintain the rift.

That's fine. OK, yes, that's fine. That's OK. We both agree. That's fine. Walk obsidian three times today. OK, I'll make a list. Yeah, great. I had these walkie talkies. I got everyone for Christmas that no one has ever used.

We could use those to stay in touch if you wanted. No, that's fine. They're shaped like my face. My hands are full. Okay, well, best of luck in there. If you need anything, just talk to my tiny face and I will answer. All right. I fall in from being pushed.

And I bang my head really hard on the frame. Brother. You step through the portal and are instantly sucked into a tube of glittering rainbow static. The air around you teams with electric signals and you hear thousands of voices competing for your attention. Eventually you see the lights around you coalesce into a blinding white wormhole. The world flashes as you pass through the portal and into the realm of the media dimension.

As your eyes adjust to your new surroundings, why doesn't everybody give me a perception check? Ooh, I only look for Joey Tribbiani. I go limp with complacency. 21. Hell yeah. I go limp with complacency. Just imagining you flopping uselessly through the dimension. And I got a three on my perception.

Is Onyx dead, Nyack? Did she die? Is there oxygen in here? I'm breathing. I think she breathes. I tap Onyx. I give Onyx mouth to mouth. I'm on Snog Island!

Now I got a 21. Ooh, okay, so you both got 21s. I got a 3. She's just limp. Just gave herself to television. You hear like an echo far in the distance. Sure wish I had some fit birds to snore, snore, snore. Wow. Give it a suck.

Oh. So Onyx, as you lie on the ground and make kissy faces, I'll describe what everyone else sees. I am kissing at the air like a baby sleeping, dreaming about nursing. Ha ha! at the air like a baby sleeping dreaming about nursing. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I start calling her brothers on the moon. Hey, yeah, I don't know what the hell happened. My hand is moving phantom fruit in my mouth. Sometimes she gets Plane Shift sickness

and hallucinates that she is kissing a very hot man. Yeah, no, she's gone. She's, she's gone. Okay, well, keep in touch. Nice to hear from you. All right. So you squint and you kind of survey your surroundings. And here's what you see. You've entered a world made entirely of cables, cords, and screens.

In the distance, you see jungles bearing tablets instead of fruit. And above you, thousands of closed circuit televisions display a looping feed of a clear blue sky. Beneath your feet, you see thick veins of cable spiraling out from a stone-like hub. The cables snake towards a row of six monolithic screens arranged around you in a circle. The screens are dimmed, but they flicker softly. And Jens and Nyack, with your exceptional perceptions, you also notice a few more things. Near one of the screens, you see the remains of a few robots made of shiny silver metal. They have these large bowl-shaped heads and one of their arms has been replaced with a drill. These robots

are all dented and some are missing arms and legs. It looks like whoever defeated the robots use some sort of powerful blunt force attack. God damn it. Sonic is here. Did he escape or was this before he was captured? There's more. With a 21, you also notice that within this pile of robotic rubble, one of the machines is still functioning. It seems to be lying in wait. You can see its eyes still twitching, focusing the lenses in and out,

and the servos running and humming very quietly. But then the last thing you notice, behind one of these monolithic screens, you see the flicker of a green tail waiting in anticipation, hiding poised, ready to strike, not sure how to respond to this situation. Um, okay. Robot slash green tail, we see both of you. Look, we're not involved in any of this bullshit. We just wanna negotiate the price down because frankly- I think our friend is dead.

I think she's dead. With Dothert TV, we're here to speak with Dr. Kintoburr, and we just wanna, we won't pay a cent over 79.99. Onyx has a beat-a-fix smile on her face. So yeah, we see the green tail, we see you, robot, we see that you're waiting for us. We're not on anyone's side. We're not on Sonic's side. We're not on Dr. Kintobur's side.

We're just trying to get a lower price or maybe a voucher. Reveal yourself. We'll be on your side. We'll be on whoever's side. Honestly, if you make a good enough case, we'll be on your side. I have no dog in this fight. Onyx is cycling through studio audience laughs

and studio audience ooze. But quietly and mumbled. Again, she's gone. Why don't you- I think she's in a better place. Nyack and Jins, why don't you both give me persuasion checks? 22.

Two. Okay, so two things happen. Nyak, you with a two, I guess, yell at a bug, you see. I'll be on your side, small guy. You're hurting our negotiating position, Nyak. Well, they're not fucking answering us, brother. Give them a second. But Jynz, you see as you're speaking,

the little tail hid initially, but then kind of like peeked its head out almost as if it has some sort of manner of sentience and was kind of nodding along with what you were saying. At the same time as that, the robot that was hiding and it's all the other ones realizes that the gig is up, stands up, says, Halt! This dimension is the property of Robotnik Media, a subsidiary of Robotnik Corp International. Please step away from the content!

As soon as it starts approaching you, you see its drill hand starts warming up, and then a green blur appears from behind the monitor, spins really fast, Ka-Pow! and blasts the robot in half. Boom! It explodes in the distance as the figure lands in front of you. Uh, excuse me, Chromedome, but the Battlestar Galactica convention was last week. Hey there, folks! Nice to meet you.

The name's Gex. Gens slams his head into a wall. God damn it. Who the fuck are you? You see standing before you a large humanoid gecko wearing a tuxedo jacket. That was your human girlfriend that was making out with Robotnik. What? No, that couldn't have been my agent extra.

She'd never be making out with Robotnik. Why do you have? He must have captured her or something. Why do you have a human girlfriend, Gex? Well, a girl like that, who wouldn't want a human girlfriend? Sure. Onyx, get up. I'm not dealing with this alone.

Onyx gets up groggily and she says, I was having the best dream. I poured more wine on Onyx. It was like, have you seen the end of gladiator where it's running through the field of wheat? It was like that, but instead instead of wheat it was a studio audience Wow, and I was running to Monica and Ross's kid Monica and Ross's kid you mean

Ross and Rachel's kid no Monica. I was running to Monica and then the kid who belonged to Ross Right she's talking about Ben. Do you guys also love? Monica and Ben. Wait, so- Ross's kid with his first wife. Her name was not Monica. Her name was being babysat by Monica.

Monica's his sister's name. No, I know. Well, right, Monica and then Ross's kid. Monica and Ross's kid are both there. Monica and Ross's. Another way to say it would be Monica and Ben. But we all got it except you. It's simple grammar.

I refuse to be gassed here. I spill wine in Nayak's face. Oh, oh, I can't see. Onyx, I'm gonna join you. Nayak passes out. It's beautiful, Sam. Okay, gex. It's beautiful. So wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Gladiator? Friends? Am I in the audience of some fellow tube lovers here? Is that what's going on? Yes! I love TV! I love it too! It is like reality but better. Absolutely! So you get it! We can't let Robotnik take all the TV and also my beautiful human girlfriend.

You are so right. I have been so selfish, willing to throw money at anything to get my content, but actually there are ethics and morals at play here. Who are you? You have taught me such an important lesson. Don't become friends with this. I lean in for a kiss. Oh my goodness. Whoa, whoa, sorry. Hey, I'm all for helping the environment,

but you can't go green with me. I've already got a girlfriend. No, we cheating on you. She's cheating on you. You're being cooked, Gax. Yes. No, no, it's gotta be a robot clone or something, guys. No.

On its fans or self. So anyway, yeah, we gotta go and stop him. We can't let Robotnik control all the content. TV is a beautiful thing, folks. We can't let Robotnik control all the content. TV is a beautiful thing, folks. We can't let Robotnik take it from us. He's a genius, okay? I'm sure he's got it handled. We just need vouchers.

Guys, maybe you could tell us what sort of content are they working on for Robotnik Plus? Because maybe it is good content. Yeah, because the bundle makes sense. We cut it is good content. Yeah, because honestly, the bundle, the bundle makes sense. We cut the cord and then everything dispersed. I had to pay for streaming. We're just back around the cable, which I'm not against. Let's just bundle it all back up. Okay. So, Gex, do you know what they're working on? Well, let me take a look here. You see Gex pulls out this big remote control. It's got like a little screen built into it and like a long antenna.

And he kind of spins it around trying to get a reading. Huh, so as we all know, this year is the media dimension. You can think of it as the server hub where all the content robotics stole is being stored. Unfortunately, it looks like some of the shows were jumbled together during the assimilation. So if we want to restore content to the way that it used to be, we're going to need to wrestle it from his grubby little hands.

Wait, are you saying that Dharma and Greg could end up in the Friends universe? It could be crossovers, but it could be worse. We don't know what awaits us out there. My god. Now I slam Gex into a wall. TV, the final frontier. Star Trek, folks. We have been circumplacent. TV, the final frontier, Star Trek, folks. We have been so complacent.

This is a fight worth fighting for. I kneel at Gex. I kneel at Gex with my maul over my knee. You tell me where to swing and I will fight. Sis could fight. Gex takes his tail and knights you on either side. Ow, ow. Sorry, my tail is registered as a deadly weapon.

Now, there's a lot of reasons that we've got to stop Robotnik. I, of course, want to stop him because he kidnapped my human girlfriend, Agent Extra. Okay. Yeah, no, they're dating. I think she left willingly. No, that must have been AI generated or something.

The chemistry was off the charts. I've never seen anything like it on Snog Island. You like Snog Island too? I, kinda. Why are you changing the subject, Kecks? You guys were having problems before she left, weren't you? Yeah, be honest. You were watching too much television, weren't you?

Right, I guess it was more that, like, maybe she didn't wanna watch television, but I think we just hadn't found the right show to watch. That was the big problem. But if I can get her back, if I can get a little time alone with her and we can figure it all out, I think that she'll finally come to agree that TV is the best thing ever. And you know what? Everything else is just details. Sure. I don't know how she looked. Which one of these freaking tubes we got to jump in, man? Okay, so the problem here is Robotnik is hiding in a pocket dimension somewhere within the media dimension, which itself is actually just a bunch of pocket dimensions containing

all the TV shows he stole. Jens rubs his temples. Long story short, let me give you the episode recap, bud. Jens rubs the temples harder. Long story short, finding him would be like finding a needle at a Botox convention, am I right? Anyway, that's where this little doohickey comes in. Jens kicks a wall. I whisper to Jens, he lost me on set one.

So, Gags points to the large TV remote and you see it's got like a small blinking green screen on it. This remote can open a portal to Robotnik's sad little man cave. The only problem is that in order to triangulate its location, we're going to need to dive into a few of the stolen mixed up TV shows to help my remote lock onto the energy signature. Are you sure you want to jump in there? He might want some alone time with your girlfriend as well. Yeah, we should knock first.

I think, you know what, we're just going to have to let her choose. And I think that I've got to watch out. She already did choose. Well, I mean, that was choices done. It's been three years. I feel like, you know, maybe she's reconsidering some things. Sorry. Three years. Yeah. Were you even dating reconsidering some things. Sorry, three years? Yeah.

Were you even dating for three years or broken up for three years? I mean, I would call it broken up, but like it's been three years. You're on a break. Okay. You're on a break. Okay. You get it. She gets it.

Yeah. Okay. Gek's, you can't tell because he's a lizard, but it does seem like he's sweating a lot. Yeah. Okay. So, Gex gestures to the monoliths surrounding you in this grove of cables. To activate the screens, you just got to press them.

I think we'll need to explore about three different shows so we can pinpoint his hideout. So what do you say, pals? Shall we see what's on the tube? Sure. What are our choices here, Gex? Oh, behave, baby. I'll tell you. God damn it. I grabbed Gex. You think you're a freaking Chandler, but you're a Ross, Gex. You're a Ross up and down. All right. All right, Geller. Gex gives you a big Bugs Bunny kiss on the lips. All right, Geller, Gex gives you a big Bugs Bunny kiss on the lips. All right, you're good.

I tried to kiss you. I kissed Jen's for a second. What is happening? We're already on Snog Island. I'm sorry. It's just been so long since I kissed anyone that I just it all came out. Great. So Gex sprints around the Grove of Cables,

touching the six monolith screens nearest to the center. As he does, the screens hum to life, and you see the TV shows that are stored within each. Here is what you see. You have six options. You see a fishing boat being tossed on a stormy sea. No. A medieval castle with a dragon flying overhead.

Maybe. A darkly lit crime scene covered with blood spattered yellow tape. Ooh. A wacky prehistoric cartoon full of smiling dinosaurs. You'd probably love that one, Keller. You see one that is a group of friends hanging out in a diner.

Okay. And finally, an anime full of screaming muscular men. Okay, so those are our options. What are we thinking here, gang? All right, should we check out the flood stones or... Is there Seinfeld as well? What are you guys thinking? Unfortunately, it looks like Friends is not one of the options.

But friends will bring the frienergy. Yeah, friends would have been hanging out in a coffee shop, so. If anything, we can pretend to be the friends. Do you want to pretend to be the friends in the Seinfeld? Oh, with the Seinfeld. They all live in New York. It's perfect. It makes perfect sense.

Okay, okay, yeah. All right. I wonder if they've met. They're going to right now. Yeah, they're going to. Okay, everyone be joey. Okay, let's go. Okay, okay, okay, yeah. All right. I wonder if they've met. Is there going to right now? Yes, they're going to. Okay, everyone be Joey. Okay, let's go. Okay, so we're gonna pretend the friends?

Or are we all going to be Joey? I'll be Fred Flintstone. All right. Yeah, well I'll be Joey and then I can be Fred Flintstone. I'll be Dr. Evil. Why? And I'll be Peter Lorre for no reason whatsoever. Oh, oh, great. Yabba dabba doo.

OK, it's tail time. All right. Gex leaps in to, which one are we going to? Friends in a Diner. Wait, which one did Gex hop into? Wait, which one did he hop into? Whichever one you wanted to. The Diner one.

The Diner one. OK, great. OK, as soon as Gex hops into that one, I turn to you guys ander one. The diner one. Okay, great. Okay, as soon as Gek stops into that one, I turn to you guys and go, should we go to a different one? Okay, yeah. Yeah, it feels like he's got this. I feel like he can do that one.

I also feel like Eli was so quick to turn me down, which really attracted me, and I need to play it cool again. Honestly, an excellent kisser. Yeah. So yeah, I need to. Yes, Onyx, this will give you the upper hand again. That's perfect. I pivot and jump in the blood stones.

You see that your little key chain walkie talkie peeps up. Hi, yes, I believe you needed the remote to triangulate the location, but I think that I heard enough to be able to reverse engineer it, so I can serve as the triangulator if you would like. Oh, I thought I meant to throw this out, but thank you keychain.

Whatever you need, bud. Okay, I cannonball into the Flintstones. Okay. Hi Jack Knight. I guess I'll... Alright yeah, we'll handle this and then we'll handle Gex's roles afterwards. You step into the TV and suddenly feel yourself falling through time into the distant past.

Eventually, you land in a prehistoric rock quarry inhabited by dinosaurs, mammoths, and even cavemen. As you gain your bearings, you hear a chorus sing a familiar but slightly altered song. Flintbones, meet Ted Flintbones. he's a guy that lived way before you from the town of hard ground his catchphrase is yin-ga-bing-ga-boo why? YINGA-BINGA-BOO! It's not okay look we need the wholesome Fred Flintstone that sells cigarettes to children. Can I confess I've never liked Zip Flintstone. What?

Yeah, I listen to a podcast when you guys watch it. What? Yeah. Is that why you're so checked out when I tell you all my theories? I go catatonic again. All right, well me and Naya go Flintstone heads. I love the cereal. All right, so me and Nyack are Flintstone heads. I love the cereal.

There's so much to love and your love is rewarded as you see a huge caveman wearing an orange spotted fur pelt walking towards you. Oh, boy am I glad to see you three. I'm in big trouble. Today's my wife Walmart's birthday and I forgot to get her a gift. Why? You got it, why did I forget yeah he's a bad husband that's just part of

the thing I mean Walmart's a great lady but sometimes I'm just a bit of a bonehead when it comes to this stuff I set an alarm to remind myself but it fell asleep he holds up his wrist and you see a tiny bird on it. Jens laughs so hard. That's so good, that's really good. That's so good. Is this what I've been missing? Yes, does the bird say anything? Ha, ba ba ba ba ba ba.

Ah! Ha, ba ba ba ba ba ba. Just five more minutes, please. Ah, the bird is snoozing. See, this is the problem for hiring animals to be your electronics. Jens laughs again. He has to take a knee to get his breath back.

It's just a prehistoric modern problem. You know what it is, pal. You know how it is. Listen. I also have a prehistoric... Yeah. This is all super funny, but you're all fucked up. What do you mean? You're just all fucked up. Your name is Fred, my guy. My name is Ted Flintbone. What are you talking about?

No, your name is Fred Flintstone, you fucking idiots. Nyak shoves him. What's your fucking damage, man? We're just trying to fix you, man. You're confused and we're trying to un-confuse you. Nyak slaps him across the face. Give me like a persuasion check with advantage. Then I'm gonna have him do a contested charisma save.

22. 22, shit. I'm unfortunately persuasive. As Nyak slaps him, I'm gonna get him in an arm bar and steal his watch. What? His watch has a bird on it. She wants his bird.

I want his watch very very badly. I'm free as a bird it says as you steal it. I'm going to roll contested. I don't think he can top this unless he gets an at 20. That's a flat 10.

You see a little blood trickles out his nose. Oh, Fred, why does it feel so right? I don't know. Look, Fred, we just want to help you. We want to get everything right here. I had a daughter. Where did she go? That's on you. you were a good dad even before whatever happened. Well, right, but he might have like forgotten to pick her up, but just not having her, that's not his fault. It's like she exists, but she doesn't. What do you know? You gotta help me. Okay, yeah. Fred! Fred!

Jens tries to catch him. Save him, I say, weak weekly as I clutch my new watch. You see he barfs up some sort of pixelated data. Oh no. Oh, I'm gonna be sick. Ectoplasm. Give me an insider arcana check. Great.

This I'm not gonna grab. One of us has to ingest this data. Shout out to the two crew. Ha ha ha. That's a four for me. Okay. Okay, I might save us. Yeah, I also got a total of a four with the two.

Gex did have an ability that would let you reroll stuff. Oh, cool. I got an eight. Ha ha ha. You see this man. Give him mouth to mouth while he's throwing up this stuff, I guess. Ah, jeez. Must have some bad clams.

Anyway, folks, I have a big problem. Okay. My wife Wal-Mart's birthday's today, and I forgot to get her a gift. You already said that. You gotta help me out! Her name is Velma. Her name is Wilma. Wal-Mart.

No, it's not Wal-Mart. It's Wal-Mart. No, it's not. I think I know my own wife, pal. You don't know shit, Fred. Okay? We're trying to fix all this stuff. You throw up data?

That's weird. That's not normal, Fred. I just had a bad Brono burger. It's fine. Yeah, alright. Look, I don't know if maybe we need to play the episode out so that if there was only someone here to explain this to us. I don't know why Gex put us in this position it's so fucked up he ditched us he absolutely ditched us he absolutely ditched us he jumped ahead of time I came on too strong

I do agree It is partly Onyx's fault but it's mostly Gex's fault look I don't know maybe we play out the episode and maybe we can make it right as we go. Okay. Right in the wrongs. Ted. Ted. Don't call him Ted.

What does Velma like? Well, Walmart, she loves, you know, pretty necklaces, house appliances. Okay, so we go to the appliance jewelry store. Yeah. Okay, so we're, yeah, Fred. We could get her like a necklace with a little toaster pendant or something like that. That is so beautiful. You know, that's what I think she likes. I've never really like asked her what she

likes. What's your an asshole? Yeah. Well you're an asshole in the regular show too. So don't, don't look too deep, Fred. Fred like looks deep, but then you see like a little bit of the pixelated blood comes out again. Okay, we're gonna kill him. I try to call a Gex.

You hear keychain chimes in. Okay, from what I can see of the readings, you probably just need to play out the scenario. It seems that Robotnik's algorithm has rewritten some of the information about the Flintstones. Okay, we'll make it all right. Okay, so Fred, we're going to go get a gift for your wife Wilma. Okay, yeah, sure, whatever you gotta say. As long as you help me pal, you can call her

whatever you want. It's going to be toaster, but do you prefer gold or silver? A gold toaster? What do you think, I made of clams? Shut up, Fred. Just kidding. Sorry, sorry, before you said you add bad clams, but now clams are a currency. Do you, just to be really clear, do you eat your currency? Why are you eating cash?

Stop eating cash Fred. It's hard. You might not have a lot of money because you keep eating it. I wonder. Some of it for food and some of them are for eating. It's hard. There's the pearls in the clams or whatever. Look, Fred.

Where were you going to take us? I don't know. I thought maybe you'd have some ideas. I got to finish my shift. Three strangers. Fred. We will get the gift. I get to write the card.

I'm writing the card and you'll get to read it, Fred. I got to finish my shift at the quarry and then I'll pay you for the gift. We'll get the gift. I get to write the card. I'm writing the card and you get to read it Fred. I gotta finish my shift at the quarry and then I'll pay you for the gift. How does that sound? Are you gonna pay some fucking clams? I don't want your money cuz I can't trust you didn't eat it. Do you want food clams or do you want cash clams? Cash clams! Neither. Why? Why do you even disagree on this? Cuz it's full of pearls!

Cuz it's full of pearls, Nyack. A rich man's salad, cash clams, and food clams mixed together. Sure. Sure, Fred. Like movie popcorn. OK. All right, we're going to go get a gift for your wife. Do you know gex, by the way?

Do you know gex? Yeah, do you? Do I know gex? Do you know gex is a gex? You're going to kill him. You're going to kill him! Your son's name is Bebe. His what? I was trying to say what his child's name is.

BamBam is Barney's child's name. Okay, you're hopeless. Your child's name is- Wait, Pebbles. Barney? you mean my friend Benny Rockpile? No, not Benny Rockpile, you goddamn idiot. Alright, get out of here before I Alright, before I cream ya.

Can we bring Benny Rockpile along? Yeah. Yeah, sure, let me go see. Can we use your car? I shall only take my car, just as long as you get a nice gift from my wife. Okay. Yes, Camry, I shall only take my car just as long as you get a nice gift for my wife. Okay. Great, yes, we'll do that. Hey, uh, you see he walks over and you see this, uh, diminutive cave man, uh, with like blonde hair walks over and says, hey Ted, what's going on? Benny, I need you to go

with these folks, okay? They're trying to get a gift for my wife. Oh sure, I know everything about your wife. I'll be sure to get her a gift. What does she like? Okay, well, you know, she obviously likes jewelry and stuff like that, but what she really likes is experiences. Can I do an insight check if they're fucking? I don't need to do one. I got a 19.

Ha ha ha. 19 plus one, a dirty 20. And can I just know without doing an insight check? Yeah, absolutely. As he says experiences, you could see that he's thinking about one that they've had together. Oh wow. Okay. Yeah, Benny.

Yeah, Benny. Alright, let's go to the Pterodactyl Air and maybe we can book an excursion or something. Great. Okay. We were going to do a toaster necklace. Oh, okay. Do you think that your idea is better? Well, I just know that it's what Walmart would want.

Okay. Okay. Experience it is. I'm personally into things. Okay, let's have a chat while we go with Benny here. Your name is Barney, by the way. Oh, can we get the keys to the car? Okay. You know what we could do is we could each get

or something and see what she likes best. Oh, competition. You know what, Benny, you've got a fucking problem, my guy. Huh, what do you mean? You got an attitude problem. Why are you trying to big dog my brother, Benny? Because you just, you smile, but I can tell there's just a little bit of pipe behind him, right?

Nieric, you are so right. I was like, why is he rubbing me wrong? And it's because he's big dog gems. This guy's fucking your wife. This man is fucking your wife. What? Yeah. I'm going to flank Benny so he doesn't run away. I asked you.

I asked you flat out if that was true and you said no. Whoa, whoa, whoa, take it easy Ted. It's okay. Okay, we're confusing this word. Okay, let's run away from whatever this is. I'm running. We run. Okay, everyone listen.

We can't affect it too much because in the real Flintstones, they have a bad relationship, OK? But they're not divorced, right? So we don't want to bring about any kind of actual change in the relationship. I think we haven't done anything too big yet. So I think we haven't done anything too big. Those two can hash it out.

You see Ted picks up a big rock and clocks Barney with it. Oh, OK. OK. That's good. That's fine. Barney's dead, that means we'll stay with him. Yeah. Because there's no other option. And that's mostly the show. We do need Barney back.

Hopefully he didn't die. Okay, so let's- Okay, let's do the toaster necklace. Yeah, sounds good, right? Yeah, yeah. And they're guaranteed to have one, right? Yeah, all right, let's just go to the mall. Okay, right? Yeah, yeah. And they're guaranteed to have one, right? Yeah. All right, let's just go to the mall.

OK, you go to the mall, you steal Fred's car, and you go to Blooming Shales Mall, which I believe is what it is called. Yeah, it's from the Flintstones Christmas Carol. Right on. Great. And yeah, why don't you give me investigation checks to see if you can find what you're looking for.

Wait, I have such a good idea. Since we are at the mall and this is priest dark times, we should get a picture in a crystal. Oh, yeah. Have you seen one of those before? They laser it into a crystal. It's beautiful. It's honestly the best gift.

And you could put it inside the toaster and it would pop out. I got a two. I got an eight. I have an 11. Actually, I'll give, wait, you got an eight? I'll give you a bardic inspiration. I have a D12. Woo!

I got an 11. Wait, what? I rolled a three on the... Oh, god damn it. All right. All right, so you got an 11. Wait, what? I rolled a three on the 11. Oh, god damn it. All right. All right, so you got an 11. Is that the highest score? Yeah.

Oh, can I cast Locate Object? Oh, shit. Oh, great. You guys have spells. We're going Crystal, too, because then that way, we kind of steal Benny's idea, and it's kind of an experience. So I think we have a carve.

Fred and Wilma, happy together with pebbles. And then it brings the memory back and it will shock them back into being the Flintstones again. And we say, Flintstones Christmas Carol under it. That's good. That's good. And that was a mixed bag.

So only like 10 people are gonna get this joke. And then on the back, everyone's good. That was a mixed bag, so only like 10 people are gonna get this joke. And then on the back, everyone makes mistakes, I forgive you. Yeah. That's what we write into it. Everyone makes mistakes, I forgive you. Oh, because you cheated on him, right.

But none of it has to be said aloud, so hopefully when they're awoken from this delusion. Let's also add the date, but it's one day off. Yes. Amazing. I'll say that with Locate Object, you can all roll your investigation with advantage. OK, great. Yes.

14. 18. I got 23. Hell yeah. Nice. You managed to find everything you need you also find that at the crystal engraving store they'll do a special little thing where they will break the crystal and then rebuild it with gold seams so that it shows that some things can never be truly broken and they get stronger

somewhere as far as our broken marriage yeah wow cool so is there anything else truly broken and they get stronger the more they break. Wow. Cool. So is there anything else you want to pick up with them all? I'll go with Nathan's hot dogs. Or if there's like a laser tag. I'll get an Aqua massage. Okay. Yeah. You do the prehistoric version of all these things.

I'll get a choker necklace at Spencer's Gifts. Great. That's got shells in it for sure. I'll get an orange Julius. Awesome. I want to go to the Brookstones. That's the same. And see what all the animals are doing the jobs. Okay, great. Yeah. You see like a lazy boy recliner

that is just full of armadillos, just like running around in there. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe just like running around in there. Are you comfy? Ow, no, you're spiny! This chair doesn't look relaxing at all. You gotta adjust the settings. Push that beak over there. Okay, I pushed the beak. It bites you.

Ah! Jen's laughs way too hard. Sorry, I haven't had lunch. God damn it, I love it here. It hurts. Look, we can live here afterwards. Okay. Great, so yeah, you pick up a couple of Nathan's hot dogs

for the road, you see they're just slicing a brontosaurus's neck into small little pieces. Oh. Flash frying it. So you finish up your tasks at the mall and you take Ted's stolen car and you head back to his house. You get there and you knock on the door and you see a caveman woman wearing like a white fur pelt

and some rubbly pearls answers the door. And you also see this pet triceratops named Trino just starts growling at you. Oh, hi Trino. You're coming with us, Trino. Huh, oh, I figured it'd be Ted. I guess he's not here yet. Oh, you figured it would be Ted?

What about Benny, huh? What are you talking about? We know what you've done, Wilma. And it's not too late to save your marriage. And I hand her a crystal. Because sometimes the most broken things are actually the most beautiful. And I hand her the broken crystal.

It was fun while it lasted, Wilma, but it's time to close up shop. Yeah. You know what? You three strangers are right. Ted may not be perfect, but we've made a life together and I'm thinking it might be time for

us to start a family. So I'll take everything that you've said in mind and we'll look together towards a better future. Maybe we'll go from prehistory to history. Yeah, don't get your hopes up too high, but I like where your head is at, Jen. I don't think you have a great future ahead of you for your relationship, but man, you're going to make some great television. Everybody starts laughing. The dinosaur starts laughing. Walmart starts laughing. You see Fred comes home sliding down a tail of some dinosaur. He starts laughing. He's covered in blood. You hear keychain's little walkie talkie start beeping. Signature confirmed.

I'm extracting you now. And you three return to the media dimension. And you now see that the screen, which before was kind of this like vague image of like a prehistoric sitcom, has settled in to the familiar visage of the Flintstones. We did it. Does Pebbles appear? Pebbles does appear, reverse back to the future style. It just appears in Wilma's arms.

And now. Where's Gex? What does Gex's TV look like? Is Gex done? Does that look more normal? So you walk over to Gex's TV and you see that he is still in there. I'm going to say you can just watch his program now if you want.

Great. Yeah, we'll just sit and watch Gex. So Gex went into the Friends Hanging Out in a Diner channel. Yeah. So you see, as you touch the screen and adjust things, you see a logo appears. And you hear this big funky bass riff starts playing but you also see these CGI atoms flying around on the screen. Oh no.

And then after a moment they flash together and a logo that says Sheldon Feld appears. No! Oh no. So you see Gex seated across from Jerry Sheldonfeld, a man with a green lantern shirt tucked into a pair of high-waisted jeans. Thank God we didn't go in this one. And Jerry is saying,

so I said to her, I'm not really interested in a relationship. I deal with enough quantum entanglement at work. Bozinga! Yeah. So he still has his catchphrase. I look for the volume knob to turn it up. You see, as Jerry Schelldenfeld says Bazinga,

Gex looks like he's taken a mental bullet to the brain. I'm gonna go ahead and roll a wisdom save for Gex. Cool. Wow. Now I just want to watch all these TVs. Whatever TVs we don't go into, we have to watch a little bit of. Okay. So you see like Gex like clinches his fist, slams it on the table and bears it. He isn't totally destroyed by this psychic attack that Jerry Scheldtfeld is putting on

him, but he does take 32 points of psychic damage from hearing Bazinga said. That's fine. Wow. As you're watching, Keychain fills you in. It seems like he's just going to need to survive. Okay. So the DC is going to increase. All right. DC. If there's anything you want to do to help him, you can. Yeah, give him a bar. Can I press the mute button? Keychain says, you know that just mutes the TV for you. It's still happening in there, right? Who are you? I'll give Gax a bardic inspiration. Hell yeah.

Okay. Which is a D12. Damn. I'll just shoot a crossbow in there. Okay. Okay. So the DC is going to be 21 now. Jesus. You see Gex is struggling here, but he's hanging strong.

He's still got some life left in him. You give him a bardic, you're firing an arrow at Jerry Schildenfeld. Yeah, but I did roll only a 13. 13, Jerry Scheldtfeld is wearing a green lantern T-shirt. His AC is not very good. So that will hit. You see that the arrow strikes him.

Oh, if that's not physics, I don't know what is. Bazinga. It's just making him more clever. Suddenly you hear the door to the diner ring and you see Cosmo Krellden, a man with a lab coat and an enormous coif of hair burst into the room. They're all Sheldon? He lumbers over to the table and sits next to Sheldonfeld. Oh, sorry I'm late, Jerry.

Traffic was worse than the swarm of electrons that orbits an atom of uranium. You hear a loud audience laugh that hushes as Jerry begins to speak. Hey, what's the deal with atoms anyway? The protons are positive, the electrons are negative. I mean, what is this? My parents' relationship? Vazinga. You see the Vazinga resonate in Gex's flesh and his mind.

He is going to roll this with advantage thanks to Onyx shooting an arrow. So he's got advantage on this wisdom save. And a D12. And the D12. That was a two and a 17. Okay, so that is a 19. He needs to get a 21. That's an 11.

Gex passes. Okay. Maybe it seems like Gex has a lot on his plate right now. Maybe we should go to another one while he fights this righteous fight. Do you think he's gonna die? I don't think so. All right. Do you?

I'll throw him a heal and then we could go somewhere else. Okay. All right, yeah. It seems like he's taking some damage. Let's see if I have anything else to throw at him. Yeah, I'll do, you know what? I'll throw a Cure Wounds at him. 21 life.

Nice, okay. You know what, I'll hit him with the second one just in case. And another 17, so 38 total. Okay, yeah, you like put your hand on the screen, reach through just enough to get through without being sucked in. You prop Gex up, you see,

what does your cure wounds look like in this situation in a New York diner? What does it look like? I think I call on like a telephone nearby, like a really big brick cell phone. And I call up Gex and I'm just like, hey, so it seems like you're kind of doing your own thing there.

We're going to go into a different TV. Oh, you got to just figure this one out. All right. Okay. All right. Feeling a little high and dry, but all right. The heels really helped. You got this, Gek. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gek, please. Tell him I'm not here.

Onyx is not here. Is that one with the kind of craters on her face? Is she there anywhere? No, she's left. No, she's not cheering me on as well? She's gone. Are you Jerry Sheldonfeld? Or are you Gax? It's rubbing off. Okay, well don't let it rub off too much, Gax.

Uh, yeah, get whatever bullshit you need from this one, cause we have to get three, okay? Alright! We're gonna get two, you're just gonna get the one, all right? Tell them I'm on a date. Onyx went on a date. She's on a date. Yeah, with a...

She's totally unavailable. Yeah. Oh, Toten of A, okay. Yeah. Even though I'm... Do you have anything to say to that, or? I mean, I've only got hearts and tongues and tails for Agent Extra, so...

She's dating someone else. And he's a doctor. Yeah. Yeah. Dr. Harvey Kintoger. Alright. Yeah, I guess I'll talk to you later or whatever. Just send us whatever we need from this one.

I don't care. Wait, I think I might die! That's fine. Tell him you got a text from me and I invited you on that. I got a text from Onyx and she invited me on a... You invited me on what? What did you invite me on, Onyx? What did you invite me on? What did you invite me on?

A helicopter ride. I just got a text from Onyx and she invited me on a helicopter ride. Wow. You're making it hard to be a chase lizard out here. Yeah, we can put in a good word for you if you want. You just have to say it. You just have to say, I like Onyx. Yeah, what are your, I guess, thoughts on Onyx or whatever?

Not that she's interested in you. She's actually clearly not. She's not very available. You will have to, you will have to beg. Gex is going to do a charisma save. Onyx, do you want to do a persuasion? Yeah. Oh my God.

That's 17 plus 11. I got a 28. So hot. Well, I guess you see, uh, Gex still on this like massive car phone. It's like massive 90s car phones thinking about it as, uh, Jerry Schildenfeld and, uh, Cosmo Kraldin talked to each other in the background. You know, I've just been so hung up on trying to get back with Agent X-Tri, I haven't really thought about it,

but I mean, I'm a well-to-do lizard. I'm young, hung, and full of tongue, and I feel like. Ha ha ha! Jen hangs up. Onyx squirts her skirt. I'm sorry, like the, that was. Jen vomits into the TV. That was uncouth.

That was foul. I'm gonna be sick. Squirts into a skirt? Why did he say that? What the fuck? What the? Like two seconds ago, he wasn't over his ex. I'll think he saw something in that moment.

Jen dives into a random TV. Okay. Truly mean a random one. Literally whatever one is next to us. So you leave Gex there to fend for himself. You've healed him up. He's looking good. He kind of like grits his teeth.

Thinks about Onyx. Thinks about like a life that could be outside of everything he's given to agent extra maybe thinks that agent extra never really reciprocated his mind is a light but also burning from the constant barrage of bazinca as he's facing but you're going to leave him for now we'll check back in on the final round of gex versus j Scheldonfeld in a second. Great. Which TV do you want to go into? I'm thinking crime scene or anime. Hmm.

Let's do anime. You wanna do anime? Yeah. All right. How does Jen's making that decision look? Dives into a random TV. I'll say, yeah, I'll say if you want it to be the anime one, cool, or if you want to roll random, I'm cool.

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taxes and fees and restrictions. Apply see Mipmobile for details. Okay, so you dive into the anime one, which is just kind of these like generic looking muscle men screaming at each other. Great. And as soon as you enter the screen, your vision is assaulted by an array of colorful explosions. After the blast clears, you find yourself standing in the middle of a heavily charred battlefield.

Across from you stands a muscular purple alien in a karate gi. Near him, in a crater in the ground, you see Keychain, covered in bruises and clutching his chest. You hear a narrator's voice boom across the sky. Previously on Ultra Technique Unlimited X, Keychain was defeated by Lord Futon's ultimate technique. Now it's up to the Trinnavale Triplets to defeat him, but will they stand a chance against his godlike power? You hear Lord Futon laugh as he puts a foot on Keychain's head. Ha ha ha ha, foolish robot. You thought that that was my ultimate technique? I'm just getting started!

But since you and your friends have lasted so long, I suppose I'll show you a taste of my true power. You see Futon pulls off his shirt. It lands with a thud on the ground. Wow, that heavy shirt. Then he starts powering up. You see his muscles bulge and his body begins to glow. Suddenly, a third nipple appears on the center of his chest. From the ground you hear Keychain say,

no way, it's impossible. Ha ha ha, that's right. You see, for each nipple on my body, I roll an additional D10 on my athletic checks. The only way you'd ever be able to defeat me is by fusing together and combining your strength. But that would never happen. The idea of it is so ridiculous that I'm just going to sit here thinking about

how funny it is for the next two minutes. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. All right, well, I'm not fusing with either of you. So I don't know if you two want to figure this out. Chen sits in the corner and crosses his arms. I could fuse, I could fuse, I could fuse. How, yeah. Nyak runs as fast as he can at Onyx.

Yeah, I do the same. Freaky Friday style. Freaky Friday. Okay, so you two run at each other full speed. What does your fusion look like? Is it a dance? Are you just splatting together and then falling in like a pile of putty?

Oh, that's a good question. I mean, I think that like at the last minute, I like leap into the sky and it looks like a Renaissance painting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's beautiful. So you do like a sky born dance and you spin around and then you coalesce into a single being?

Yeah, but we coalesce into what like us fused is Jen's. Wait, what the fuck? Our perfect form. What the hell? Did you guys will this into being? All right, now I'll fuse. I need to become super gents. No, no, you might upset the imbalance.

No, now we have to. You might upset the balance. No, we need to become super gents. Don't let him. That's the only way. I start dancing at the other gents. I start dancing at the other gents. I run away.

What the fuck is going on? It's perfect the way it is. What do you mean it's perfect? We can become perfect gens. You see Futon's like, hey man, I think you should sit this out. All right, fine. So you see gens and better gens standing next to each other.

I'm semi-perfect gens? So the way this is gonna work is I'm gonna roll a d20 and then three d10s, one for each of his nipples of power. Okay. And then I will add his modifier. This is gonna be a opposed athletics check. So each of you also roll an athletics check and add your modifiers and then we'll add them together.

Great, I'll give you both bardic. Just don't come too close. Go Super Gens, go. Shut up. You see there's already a theme song for it. Go, Super Gens, go. Better than the regular gens. Why?

Why do you need to say that theme song? I'm going to use my borrowed knowledge to give myself proficiency in athletics. That's sick. Damn, Super Gens. Nice, with my bardic that's a 34. He is friends with all the friends, that's the best guy Super Gens.

How you doing? With my bardic it is 21. Fuck yeah. So that is a 55 total for Super Gens. I'm gonna roll for Lord Futon now. Okay, okay. That's a 12 Lord Futon now. Okay, okay. That's a 12 on the dice roll. Okay, okay.

But he had some of these D10s. Ooh, the D10s are low, folks. Okay, that's a one, a three, and another three. Yes! So six, seven, and then 19. He does have a big chunky modifier. One second. Only a 31, though.

Oh! So Super Jins rushes up to meet Lord Futon. You have a flex off. You see that he looks at you. No, it's impossible. How could this be? The thing I said was impossible has come to pass! Oh!

Oh! Oh! All of a sudden, everything freezes, and you see a to be continued appears on screen. That's right. Damn it, I wanna know what happened. What happened? I reach out for the to be continued

and crack it over my knee. Orange juice comes out. You see key chain after a moment, like stands up, dusts himself off and says, okay, we got the signature. See you guys back at home. Who are you again? And then he falls back over. And you guys warp back to the media dimension hub.

And now you have two signatures. If you're ready, you can go check on Gex to see if he's able to withstand. Wow, we do two and Gex can't even do one. Yeah, I feel like it's pretty one-sided here. I'm so, I'm just going to quickly peek into the ones we didn't see. Just going to quickly put that into the fishing boat. Okay, yeah. Do you want to just like, we'll handle Gex's roles off screen. You want to just look at some of the other TV shows.

What is the fishing boat? You go to the fishing boat and you see that it's a reality show called Whaler Wants a Wife. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm looking for a special catch. There's going to be three eligible bachelors and bachelorettes on me boat. The last ones I killed for mutiny. But one of these lucky people might be getting me golden chum buckets and stay in the night. Have fun with that.

As soon as he says golden chum bucket, I turn the TV off. Okay, okay. Now I'm going to look at the medieval castle. The medieval castle. You see this like impressive map full of like mechanical castles and dragons and suns arching through the sky appears and you see the title flashes in a burst of flames and it says day of knights and then you see all of these knights gathered in this like majestic throne room with these like braziers crackling on the side and in the center you see this enormous throne made entirely of eggs the side and in the center you see this enormous throne made entirely of eggs. And you see that all of the knights are trying their best to sit on the throne of eggs, but

every time they do, they break a couple of the eggs and they are executed. Okay, okay. Just taking the temperature of the room. Does anyone else want to try their hand at the eggs throne? Do we do you want to just get the three and then just let, leave gecks to whatever it is? Yeah, because ever since he reciprocated, I lost interest. That's interesting.

Yeah. As you're talking, you hear the maester in the middle of the throne room say, ah, whoever can sit upon the throne without breaking an egg will be crowned Lord Protector as it is written in our holy text, you must have a firm hand and a delicate ass to rule Wextaros. I definitely have both of those. Okay, let's go.

All right, let's go in. Are Onyx and I still fused? Wait, there's no more Perfect Gems. You're unfused, right? Yeah, no, we're fused. We didn't unfuse. I cast Dispel Magic. I think I have Dispel Magic.

I can't dispel it. I can't dispel it. I also have Counter Spell. Hang on, no, I'm getting rid of this. I have Dispel Magic. I'm gonna cast Dispel Magic. I have Dispel Magic. I also have Counterspell. Hang on, no, I'm getting rid of this. I have Dispel Magic. I'm gonna cast Dispel Magic and then I'm gonna cast Counterspell. The Fuse is actually a 17th level spell, so you have to rule. What? You can't?

You don't make up the rules? Fine, Super Gens. All right. All right, Super Gens. Technically, I guess I'm your squire. I cast Mass Suggestion. God damn it. Or no, I cast Glimness, so I can't get below a 15 to try to persuade you to let Super Gens

go. All right, I don't know why I'm okay with this, but I'm fine with it. Let's go make you the king of this world. Yes. You're going to dive in. Yeah, we just dive in. Yeah. To Day of Knights? Yeah. Great. Yes. You're gonna dive in. Yeah, we just dive in. To day of nights? Yeah.

Great, okay. You dive in. You see there's an uproar in the crowd. A hush and whispers fall over it. As two nights, they look pretty similar, but a little different. Identical, but one is just better. Yeah.

Start walking towards the throne of eggs. Ah, more challenges for the throne. Do you have the plump yet delicate ass required to rule? I don't. I do. No, this guy is just with us. He's just with us. I was just kind of- He's going to say that, damn it. He's a hangar on.

Well, I'm not a hangar on. He's a hangar on. I thought I was like your- I've come here to rule. Are you fucking kidding me super gens? You need some Bannerman to come out and say your stuff. I was going to do like a cut off by super gens I start a huge argument. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm I apologize feel go ahead say it sing our sing our praise or my place. Yes. This is super gens Technically I would go through I guess like who you're like parents were but super gens

born of onyx Lumiere and Naya, Coz they ran a four just kind of running at each other Using the feeder of that dude that we fought before, and breaker of To Be Continued. What? The Three Nippled Man. Breaker of the Three Nippled Man. Say we felled the Three Nippled Man.

We felled the Three Nippled Man. Well, I didn't. I watched. Runner at each other, Super Gens. Davran, I have a date on a helicopter. Super Jens has a date on a helicopter. You see the crowd's whispering, date on a helicopter? Yes, do you guys know Gex? There is no Sir Gex in this land.

Oh good. Is there a Sir Gex? You do see a knight walks forward, hello, I'm Sir Gex. I stab Sir Gex. In propriety. Do you see a knight walks forward? Hello, I'm Sir Giggs. I stab Sir Giggs. Ha ha ha ha! Impropriety! Look, I'm here with Super Gens. Super Gens has the ass to sit on that egg.

Yes, everyone move over. We shall persecute you for the murder of Sir Giggs. He's fine. Only if you fail to sit upon the throne of eggs. If you are named Lord High Protector, then you yourself can make the ruling about whether or not you are guilty of murdering Serg eggs. Great. Okay.

Please make a dexterity saving throw. And I guess since you're still fused, you could do it using your combined stats. And you also have bardics if you haven't used it. I did use my bardic. Jen sits there looking so mad. Okay I'm gonna use a jam point to reroll my decks. It's a save? Yeah. Okay a 23 for me. I got a seven. Do you have a bardic? I used it. I give you another bardic god damn it. I give you another bardic, god damn it. And a 15. The DC to sit on the throne without cracking a single egg

was 22. Yes. Super Gens easily clears it. You see this maester who's wearing kind of a like Easter egg necklace of eggs, walks over, hands you a very heavy egg crown, puts it upon your head. You feel beneath you, all of the eggs start to hatch at once. Millions of dragons and chickens start nibbling at your butt cheeks. Dragons and chickens? I hold up a chicken and say, the land has not been graced

with you for so long. You had turned to us,igen. Heavy is the egg that wears the crown. It is true! It is as the holy text predicted! You are now the Lord Pretender of the Realm! All hail Lord Pretender! Super Gens! Super Gens. Yes, let's all just write Gens though. Gens Lindell when we record this for the record keeping. You see a calligrapher is already writing Super. No. And write that I-

Yes, and be sure to include not the other guy. Yeah, no, I was there. You've gotten really gutsy, Nyak, since you've become me. And I don't like it one bit. Our name is Super Jens Flintbone. Flintbone? God damn it. As it is written. You are not Super Gens Flintbone. You are Gens Lindell. We are Super Gens Lindell Flintbone.

You are not. You feel your little keychain walkie talkie beep again. You see that there are now three. Not now! We're living our perfect life. Everything is as it should be. What is the rent on this castle? It is yours for free.

Should we? I mean, I don't want to live here with you guys. Why? What did we do? I pushed them back through the door. You are just so jealous. Yes. Yes, I am. So you return to this central media dimension hub. You land very daintily in the center and you see Gex just kind of stumble out of Sheldonfeld. He has a hollow look in his eyes as if he has been

through death by a thousand Bazingas. But he has survived. You see that there are now four signatures allid on the screen. Ha, ha, you're welcome. Gex. Yeah, we knocked out three worlds. You did one.

And you also said something really gross to Gens. Which Gens? Super Gens. Oh, nice to meet you, Super Gens. What happened to your friend Onyx? Tragically died. Oh my God. It doesn't get more unavailable than that.

That's perfect. I know. That is truly tragic. I suppose we must press on. Okay, well maybe I've still got a chance with Agent Extra. Should we try and triangulate the location of Dr. Robotnik's secret lair? We should, except there's just one thing that doesn't add up, Gex. What's that? Well, this whole time, we've been trying to get three signatures,

and you've just been trying to get the one, but you took so long, it was almost as if you were trying to sabotage us. Meanwhile, your girlfriend is hooking up with Dr. Harvey Kintobur, which is just a tad suspicious. It's almost as if you're the one keeping us here and I go up and I stab Garen in the chest. Oh my God.

Roll an attack. 28. Jesus Christ. He took 20 more damage within the Sheldonfeld universe. Mark that real quick. Yeah, I do my highest level smite. He is wearing a tuxedo shirt and he has scales. Great. So his AC is not that high.

As you stab him, he says, for once in my life, I'm feeling truly tongue tied. 45 damage. You see Gex is still standing. Second attack. 20. That hits. Okay, cool. I'll do a flourish. That one is another 13 damage.

Um, Gens. Finish Gex. I stab with the other sword. And then I pull Gex in close. You almost had something here, Gex, but we couldn't be fooled. And I yank it out of him, and then I take his remote. Okay, I think we could probably figure this out.

Can't be that hard. He was on, he was on Ramanak's team, right? Am I wrong? I mean, I lost interest in him, so you know. I'm fine, it's okay that he's dead. I think he was probably on the level. Really? Yeah, I think it's possible.

It seemed like he went through hell in the Seinfeld world just to get that remote. Why did it take him so long though? Because he was on his own, so I feel like- I can explain. He dies. Yeah. I think it's all fine. Damn. I would feel bad if I liked him. Oh well. Let's do this. Okay, we've got it. Yeah, I think that was unavoidable to be honest. Yeah, if it wasn't you it would have been one of us. I assume so. God, yeah. Well, I don't feel bad. I feel awkward, which I guess is kind of like hilarious TV moment.

It's the kind of thing, we'll look back and laugh. I think so. It's not funny because we're in it, but it will be funny watching it later. Guys, we should hurry. Jerry Sheldonfeld is escaping. Okay, all right. Okay, let's go. watching it later. and then you point the remote at this central stone circle in the center of this cable grove. And here's what happens. A beam of multicolored light blasts out, and you see a seventh television monolith materializing. As it solidifies, you touch the screen,

which flickers on to reveal the same hideout you first saw Robotnik broadcasting from. You hear Keychain perk up on your walkie talkie. Okay, I think this is the place. All you need to do is walk in there, but be prepared for anything. Alright, ready Super Gens? Also, I did a little background checking on Gex and yeah, he was totally on the level.

Wait a second, keychain. Can we trust keychain? Yeah. Why are you on Gex's side all of a sudden? That actually is a good question. I'm your ride home, just be careful here. You were like campaigning super hard for this Gex guy. Did you just threaten us? You said, I'm your ride home, be careful here. You are like campaigning super hard for this Gex guy. Yeah. Did you just threaten us?

You said, I'm your ride home, be careful here. Why? You would be trapped in the media dimension if I were to die, if you were to lose your connection to me. All right, yeah, we'll see. I jump in the other TV. You're a little sus, okay, yeah. Super Gens follows.

Super Gens goes first, Gens. Super Gens. Original Gens goes first. Wait for us, shitty Gens. Wait for us, bad Gens. Shit Gens. Shit Gens. As you dive in, on the wind you hear, it's tail time.

Who the hell was that? As all life leaves Gex's body and you are transported into a large cylindrical room. In the center you see thousands of blinking cables, all of which are plugged into a giant mechanical worm suspended from the ceiling. The worm has a large monitor for a head and two razor sharp mandibles. It dangles above a large pool, into which it periodically pukes strings of pure glitching liquid data, much like the stuff you saw coming out of Fred Flintstone's mouth. The data is then drained through a large pipe which feeds into a massive computer in the back of the room.

In front of the screen, you see Robotnik cackling as he and Agent Xtra observe the machine's progress. As he hears you enter the room, he laughs and turns to face you. Ah, the Trinnevale triplets! And of course their good friend... Wait, where's Gax? Where did the lizard go? He didn't make it. Hello, I am Super Jones. Why'd you say triplets?

We're obviously twins, fraternal, easily. Yeah, you've been watching too much TV, maybe sitting too close to the TV. I just, I had like a whole little speech prepared. Was not expecting. Wow, so you are preparing for us to win? You thought that we would not find you? We don't know what happened.

It was nuts back there, okay? And he didn't make it, all right? And that's all that happened. But listen, Jen's knowing that he's on TV gets really serious. Dr. Kintobur, they're still good in you, damn it. I know there is. There's a little inkling of humanity there.

And I'm asking you, I'm asking you to take that spark and light an ember. Yeah. As you're talking, he's like gesturing to the worm to try and eat you. No, hey, stop talking to the worm. Look at me. Eat him while he's talking.

Dr. Kintobur, please. We remember you in med school. You were so idealistic. What happened to that young pre-med student? I guess perhaps I just wanted to be popular. Maybe that's why I've stolen all of television and why I transformed critters into obedient mindless robots.

Maybe I just wanted people to pay attention to me. Oh, we didn't realize you wanted to be popular. We're sorry. Yeah, we're sorry. We're actually super relatable. Yeah. I wanna be popular. I mean, too.

I also wanna be popular. We honestly just wanted a voucher. Oh, well. Yeah. Yeah. I want to be popular. I mean, too. I also want to be popular. We honestly just wanted a voucher. Oh, well, I'm sorry, but I can't give you a voucher. And also I want to be more popular than you. What? Jens looks down heartbroken that he has to do this, but he draws his sword. You just crossed the line. Then I guess there's no talking our way out of this, but he draws his sword. You just crossed the line.

Then I guess there's no talking our way out of this, is there? I cast Hunter's Mark on Dr. Kintobur. I guess X-Blade Curse. Dr. Kintobur looks to Agent Xtra and says, I didn't like him, but I'm going to do this for your ex, babe. He deserved better. Agent Xtra caresses Robotnik's temple and whispers in his ear, that's really for your ex, babe. He deserved better. Agent Extra caresses Robotnik's temple and whispers in his ear,

that's really noble of you, babe. Thinking of other people on your big day like this, it's honestly what made me fall in love with you in the first place. He was about to double cross us. He wasn't double crossing us already. He was going to. In fact, I smell a rat

and I look over to where Sonic is tied up. Hang on a second. The only reason any of this happened is because Sonic and Tails were kidnapped. One might think it may have all started there. No, no, it's not that. It's not that. You see he presses a button, the giant monitor flips around. You see Sonic and Tails are currently being electrocuted with cattle prods. Ah, ah, ah, it wasn't us, it wasn't us. Very convincing, Dr. Contober.

I wink at Dr. Contober. My brother's a pretty good judge of character, I think he would know. We'll save you from whatever mind control this devilish hedgehog has cast on you. I see you've come to cancel my show, We'll save you from whatever mind control this devilish hedgehog has cast on you. I see you've come to cancel my show, but unfortunately in this world I'm the sole executive producer. So these twins have met their end. Everybody roll initiative! Okay...

15 for Nyack, that's a 15. 28. Oh my God. Guess Jen's is faster than Super Jen's, huh? 13. Oh yeah, Onyx and I are, we have the same initiative I mentioned. Yeah, well we're, I'm like the right side,

you're the left side or something like that. What did you both get? I'll let you take the higher initiative. Uh, I got 14. 14. I got 15. Yeah, Niaq and Ony take the higher initiative. I got 14. 14. I got 15. Yeah, NyaKanonix, you can both show 15. Yeah.

Super Gens. Super Gens, Super Gens, better than the regular Gens. No, where is that coming from? By a lot. Ha ha ha ha ha. He has got way more friends, and he uses his cravet all the time.

It's faster. Ha ha ha ha. Okay, so as the battle begins, Way more friends and he uses his cravet all the time. It's faster. Okay, so as the battle begins, you see Robotnik runs over to the worm, snaps his fingers, and you see the worm bends down and swallows him and Agent Xtra whole. Above the worm's flat television face, you see Robotnik and Extra appear in a small domed cockpit. The worms mandibles clack menacingly as it launches towards you to attack. Haha! Since you're all here, I suppose I'll tell you my real plan. I was never planning on airing the shows I had acquired. Instead, I'm going to feed them all into this artificial intelligent narrative processor, which I've nicknamed Streambo.

Streambo will then in turn regurgitate all of the content into an infinite pool of disposable media. Then instead of making robots to serve me, I'll just hypnotize my viewers into paying me more and more money. Ha ha ha, I'll be the most popular CEO slash media maven to ever exist. Ha ha ha. Sorry to interrupt, but this is kind of already happening.

This is like already is a reality we live in kind of. This is all of it. Yeah, this is. Well, everything you're saying is like, yes, I identify this is what life is. So it's kind of like a rip from the headline situation, huh? Bunch of evil guys already beat you to it, Dr. Kintobur. Yeah. Yeah.

Don't you see? I've already absorbed Zaslav. I'm twice as powerful as Zaslav. Yeah. OK, so yeah, you see this giant mechanical worm kind of suspended from the ceiling by tons of cords and cables. It's kind of snapping its jaws and reaching around trying to get at you. Jens, you are first. All right, we just got this one target or multiple? You've got the one target, it's

this big worm. Robotnik and Agent Extra are in the cockpit. You also remember that Sonic and Tails are trapped behind this giant monitor. So you've basically got like this big cylindrical room. There's tons of cables all connected to this worm kind of thing about a glados and portal, you know, like suspended from the ceiling, uh, like a big, like worm shape suspended from the ceiling. Then a big giant monitor where all of the information is being fed to and distributed to a Robotnik plus subscribers worldwide.

Hell yeah. Um, I'll do Chain Lightning. OK. So I try to power up to be more powerful than Super Gens. I need to go Super Gens too. I need to find my ultimate form. What? No way. Super Gens too?

Robotnik takes off his goggles. Gengis the Vegeta to super Gens' Goku. He's going to cast Chain Lightning. I technically can have three targets. So if there's three people that I can target, the worm and I guess each of them. Yeah. Cool.

They need to do deck saving throws. OK. Streambo got a nat 1. Sweet. 37 damage to anybody who failed. Okay, so Streambo fails, but you see the two bolts of lightning that you had aimed at the cockpit kind of just fizzle as if there's some sort of barrier

protecting them. Damn it. I came prepared this time, Jens. Damn you, Super Jens. Oh. What does Super Jens. What does Super Jens form two look like? I think I just copy Super Jens' hairstyle, but it's even longer, and I have a longer ponytail

in the back. Onyx, we have to fuse harder. OK, I'm ready. You'll never be as strong as me, Super Jens. Leave it to me. You'll never be as strong as me, Super Gens. Ha ha, leave it to me. Somehow there's wind blowing your ponytail. Okay, this bolt of lightning rattles Streambo a little bit,

but it steadies itself and then it is going to use a legendary action on you. It's going to use all three actions to cast effective advertising. Oh, god. Streambo is going to play a series of targeted ads at a creature it can see within 60 feet. I need you to succeed on a Charisma saving throw. OK, I'm good at Charisma saving throws, but yeah. Careful, they're pop-ups.

What, I can just click it real quick? No, Jen, that X is a decoy. That's not the clothes. I actually got 26. 26? Hell yeah. You pass. Let me see what happens here.

Joke's on you. I love it. Jens takes in all the information super fast. You see it's really weird ads. It's like toothpaste, but for fingers. Yeah. Whoa. Makes sense, toothpaste, fingers.

Move on to the next one. I'm not distracted at all, of course. You see there's an ad for clip-on Super Jins 2 ponytails. Oh wow. I'm super popular. Why did you click through? You accepted the cookies. But you are able to resist the advertising.

There is no effect. Great. Blah. Power up. Yeah, you're just glowing. There's that weird like, whish, whish, whish, whish noise all around you as you resist these ads.

And that is going to be Super Jins' turn, Nigh Acononix. Okay. I feel like now that our superness is being challenged, I am going to take this time and cast Haste on Onyx, aka myself. Yes! I'm gonna use all my jam points and cast Haste on us two.

What? Yes! How could super jams be so fast? Somewhere in the world, you feel the spirit of Gek say, Nyak, you always believed in me. I'm lending you my power. All the people of Trinnavale, they're lending you our power and our spirit.

This is your fight now. Remind me who you are one more time. You said. You said it doesn't matter. Just put in a good word for Agent X-tra if you can. I'm dead, bye. I wouldn't be able to because I don't know who you are.

Shit, so you're both hasted? Yes. Insane, all right, cool. So I guess you get another action, right? Oh yeah, I'll shoot a poison arrow at the worm. Okay, sick. 19 to hit? Misses. Oh my God.

Then that's all I can do. I get an extra action, but only one attack. Ha ha ha. Nice try, Super Gens. Okay. I am going to, as Gex speaks, I'm gonna cast, maybe for the first time, Spirit Shroud.

Whoa. You call forth spirits of the dead, so I'm gonna call forth swirling gexes. You say they all, no. They all start dancing and saying, I'm bringing Gexy back, no! Damn you super gents! Hey, this guy's all right.

In one way, in one way is he all right. The song's fun. And I will take, I have three attacks now, because I have my two attacks and then one attack from Haste. Fuck yeah. Okay, do it up. 21, 24, and 15. Two hits, one misses. Okay, I will use two Eldritch Smites.

Oh, god. Jens watches in horror as his rival Super Jens Okay, I will use two eldritch smites Jen's watches in horror as his rival super Jen's has once again outpowered him See the gex's put on sunglasses say time for a little gex drugs and rock and roll am I right shut the fuck up gex Oh, that's good I'll always be with you super gins, too 105 damage. Oh my god. With all my Eldritch invocations and my Spirit Shroud and my Smites and my Life Drinker, whatever. Jesus Christ.

All my Hex Boy bullshit. I just look at Gens the entire time this happens. Look at where you're fighting, gens too. I don't need to. You see Robotnik's like, wait, which one is gens too, and which one is super gens? I'm super gens too. That's gens too, aka super gens. It's not hard. See, Robotnik pulls off his goggles and crushes them. It's super confusing! You see Eldritch energy blast through all of these cables.

Some of them explode. There's showers of sparks everywhere. These cables are flying in the air, waggling like snakes cut in half. And that is your turn. That brings us to the bottom of the order where finally, finally Streambo is gonna get a turn. You see Streambo's television screen

that serves as their face, turns on and starts randomly flipping through channels. I need one of you to roll a D100 for me. You got it. 79. 79. 79. That is going to be. It goes to a celebrity guest talk show.

And you see on the screen, Binnie Rockpile appears and then leaps into battle. I'm back from the dead. Here we go. I'm ready from the dead. Here we go. I'm ready to kill you now. You're not real. He has a good reason to be mad at us. You helped out my friend, and you turned a blind eye

as I died by the hands of my neighbor. OK, so that is going to be, let me see here, Benny Rockpile is going to join the initiative real quick. Shout out to the two crew. And then minus two for his text. Benny Rockpile's initiative is zero. I'm a little confused. What did Walmart see in you?

I'm honest. It's true. I mean, not in terms of infidelity, but I'm honest with her. Yeah, I was actually really dishonest to Fred. Yeah. OK, so that was Streambo's turn. He cast Animate Dead to bring Benny Rockfile back to life. Excellent moves, Streambo.

What will we do now? Still getting the hang of these controls. That is going to bring us back to Jins at the top of the order. All right. Super gins version two. I need to reach levels of gins that I never thought possible. The jinergy. Rrr. I think back to Gex and how he was lying to us the whole time.

You don't have to think. You can just look. You can just look at Gex's how he was lying to us the whole time. And how he betrayed us. You don't have to think, you can just look. You can just look at Gex's dancing around me. I look at Gex and just let the fury of I'm bringing Gexy back take over as I reach for Super Jen's level three and cast Chain Lightning at an eighth level to hit Streambo and also to hit Shreembo

and also to hit Benny whatever the fuck his name is. Jins, what level do you cast Chain Lightning at? Normally, what's its set level though? Six. Sixth. Okay, so actually I realized I made an error before. There is a globe of invulnerability that has been cast on the cockpit dome.

But chain lightning is actually a six level spell. It should have been able to go through. So you know what? I will retroactively let you roll damage on Robotnik and Agent X-Ray as well. So they would have taken 37. 37? Okay.

That's on failed deck save. Otherwise they take half. Okay. I'll go ahead and roll that deck save for them. Okay, Dr. Robotnik failed, Agent Xtra got a nat 20. Okay. So she passes. So she takes 18. She takes 18 damage.

Yeah, and he takes 37. So you see that as you cast Chain Lightning, Agent Xtra puts Robotnik's body in the way as sort of a shield, and he absorbs all of the electricity. And explodes. Okay, he's down. Right on. Wow.

But she manages to shunt off some of the electricity and survive. But now go ahead and cast your new. New Chain Lightning, so now I'll hit Streambo, Agent Extra, and a party, whatever the fuck. 60 to damage to all three of them. To all three of them?

Yeah. Wow. My ponytail gets even longer. Shout out to the two crew for stream bow. Jen's it's so long. You're already getting split ends. What? Impossible! Split ends and dandruff. Both ends are bad. Yeah, I think all the electricity is making it really dry here. Shut up Super Gens! You mock me! Okay, everybody fails. Great. 62 damage you said? Yeah.

Okay, everybody fails. Great. 62 damage you said? Yeah. You see Agent Extra screaming as she's electrocuted. I guess I kind of deserve this. Your love was beautiful. Streambo does absorb a lot of the electric damage. Okay. But is still standing. How's Barney Rockpile looking. Barney Rockpile is a pile of rocks. Okay. Okay. He is toasted as well. You see that Streambo kicks into its automatic programming now that its pilots are dead. It is still attacking you. And that is gonna bring us back around to Super Gens,

the OG Super Gens, if you will. You're both still hasted. Oh yeah. All right. I'm gonna fire my poison arrow four times. Nice. Yeah, dude. Three times.

Get it. 23. Hits. 28. Hits. 25. All hit. Okay.

62 damage to Streambo. Whoa! You see more sparks are flying off Streambo. You've cut into one of his mechanical segments a little bit. You're seeing some of that weird pixelated goo leaking out in certain areas. As it lands, it forms these little puddles

of algorithmic TV shows. You see Friends, but somehow it's been merged with Arthur, the PBS show It's just all of the characters from friends as Arthur characters. The vibe does not match at all Yes, this is a really different group of friends That's no good you see Gex kind of like rubs it with his foot wipes it with his god damn and I forgot you brought Gex back Just as a spirit. Thanks, but no thanks.

So after your turn, Nayak, Streambo is going to use a legendary action. He's going to use binge watch. Streambo is going to fire a beam of concentrated entertainment at you. Let's see if he hits. Bring it on. Come on.

Does a 17 hit you? Um, yes, it does. Nice, great. I don't have a shirt on. This is very true. And I did just buy a choker, but it's not covering a lot. So you're going to take just four psychic damage. But I need you to roll a wisdom saving throw.

Ah, that's a three. So you have entered a state of decision paralysis about what to watch on TV. You see 12 seasons of Snog Island all spread out in front of you. Snog Island, Snog Island back to the UK, Snog Island Barbados. Snog Island in space?

Do I start from the beginning or do I start with the latest season? Because that's what everyone is talking about now. I heard space was actually the best season. But will I get it if I didn't see the original? You see like the spinoff snog island colon fuck island, which got quickly banned. I want to watch that one. And I guess you can repeat this save at the end of your turn,

but currently you are in a state of decision paralysis. I'm freaking out. Oh, I guess Nyak, roll a constitution save to see if haste stays up. It's just a flat 10. Okay, Nyak has very bad constitution. My 15 becomes a 14. Okay, stays up.

And that brings us to Onyx. Okay, I'm going to try to attack three times. That's a crit. So I don't have any Eldritch Smites left. Does a, so 17 isn't gonna hit. Nope. But I still hit twice because I have two attacks with action surge.

82 damage. Yes. Super Gens. Finish stream bow. I lift my maul up over my head and as I do, our ponytail is running down our back like a waterfall. It's running so long and almost articulating itself like a monkey tail, and it goes over to Jen's ponytail and it rips it off. What? I thought we were going to connect. Avatar style.

I knew it was a clip-on. This is one of those super long episodes where like the theme song starts playing over it. Super Jenens. Gens screams. Was that a toupee? It rips off more than just the ponytail. Gens flees. With your enchanted ponytail, you slice Streambo into a million pieces.

The cockpit shatters, the remains of Agent X-Tron and Dr. Robotnik pour out into the pool of content. You see they briefly are revived, only to be caught in an infinite void of terrible shitty media of their own creation. You have defeated the threat to all of television. You've saved content as we know it. And now the Trinnevale triplets, you have a choice. What do you do with all of the world's TV? Oh, we just take over, right? We should do exactly what Dr. Kintobur was going to do. TV was perfect before though.

But maybe we know how to keep it perfect. What if we do the Friends Arthur thing was kind of interesting. We could have pure friends and then friends in every other show. So it will all be all friendified. Yeah, we'll just put the friends in every show. Maybe we keep TV separate, but we do our own streaming service that just puts friends into every other TV show. And we'll call it Friendify. Friendify. Okay, yeah, we are going to start a streaming app called Friendify where you can watch shows that aren't friends with more friends.

And we'll be launching with Arthur Friends. Yeah. And you can sign up for a free trial, but it's only a 10 second free trial. And then we retroactively fill you for the year. Yeah. You need to sign up. You need your card to get the free trial. And then we charge you immediately anyway.

I think we should also launch with Game of Friends. Oh, that's great. I feel like people are going to like this. It's going to get people talking. Yeah. And it's like, who can sit in Chandler's reclining chair? That's good, that's really good. You begin to make plans for this

all friends all the time network as the sounds of Sonic and Tails slowly being electrocuted waft over the air of this room. Hang on, there's one thing that doesn't add up though. Sonic the Hedgehog has been here the whole time. You see the screen turns around. It's not me, it's not me, I've got one HP man, please I beg of you.

You're supposed to be the fastest thing alive and yet you were caught. It just isn't adding up, unless of course, you're a glitch in all of this and you haven't been real this whole time. It is you a glitch in all of this and you haven't been real this whole time. It is you who's hiding all of the true TV energy and I stab Sonic.

No! At the last moment as you stab him, you see his face glitches into a mechanical Sonic. Well done, Jen. You've solved the puzzle. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Jen's like staking it back. Oh yeah.

No, of course, of course. I take the ponytail I ripped off of you and put it back on and say, you've earned this. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Jen smiles directly at camera. Don't touch that dial. We'll be seeing each other very soon. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

And then Glitch Sonic disappears along with Tails. Okay, let's go back to our egg castle. Yeah, let's go back. Yeah, I want to sit on the eggs. So having changed television and created an all-new All the Time Friends network, you retired to the Castle of Eggs where you rule over the land as the Lord Protectors. And that is where we will end our session. I'm going to be a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a

little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a Oh, man. Absolutely dumb stuff. Beautiful. Once again, Caldwell, you've made poetry.

I forgot that Gex existed. I didn't even realize it was going to be him when I saw the green tail. I did kind of like lead a false lure. I texted everyone to say Sonic might show up. So it was a false Sonic operation. Well, yeah, we'll talk about this over on our Patreon. Patreon.com slash NADDPOD. That's N-E-D-D-P-O-D. Don't sing yet.

And then does anybody have anything they'd like to plug? Oh, I'll just go ahead and plug our shop again. It's been a minute and also there's great stuff in there. So go check it out shop.napod.com. I think we're doing some Sonic the Hedgehog Gens merch that is going to immediately get a cease and desist. So get in before the cease and desist. We're going to be selling like an oversized Hawaiian shirt with a Super Gens level three

on it. We're going to be selling clip on ponytails for whenever you wanna take it to the next level. Sweet, be on the lookout for that. In the meantime, you can follow us on social media there at May and May Night Use, at CBC or me, at Coldest Call Doll, at AXE or Demolion, at Jake or Jake,

and you tweet about the show using hashtag NADPOD, that's N-E-D-D-P-O-D. We are, we are, the youth of a nation. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. Shut up, Gex. Gex, see you later, baby. Ha ha ha. ["The New York Times"]

Would you believe it's time to thank our benevolent council of elders? They are Brad D., Jeffrey S., Lord of the Fjord, Hugh C., later Mick Skater, Matt M. Cutter W. Jeff C. Daniel G. Dungeon Mama. Back and more sexual than ever. Danielle the Dastardly Dame. Beardman Dan. Danny P. Bryant. Best friend to Nathan the Horse.

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barbarian, Lexi H, MJ, the BFG, Artavius K, Geno T, Mama Belle, Tristan the talentless hunk, Leon K, legendary hero of Bohemia from a future campaign, Shenanigans O'Connor, Mios the great Joshua S, Alexander, Linz W, Angel La Pama, the forever vindicated Emma S, Red the reforged, Warforged, Pavu Eskenor, the Goliath Paladin providing service with a smile. Amelia leader of men and friend to elves. The Grinch tried to pump my gas in Jersey so I put the car in reverse. A catnapping in a sunbeam listening to a podcast. C Jam Hampton.

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Swags Dry Cousin from Gladehome and of course Dean Thank you everybody!