Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 15: Sindhu Vee

Episode Date: March 13, 2019

This week's guest is Sindhu Vee – Edinburgh Comedy Award-nominated stand-up, Radio 4 regular and Live at the Apollo star. When it comes to food, she knows what she wants. And, yet again, Ed makes some vulgar jokes.Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive Productions.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography) and Amy Browne (illustrations)Sindhu Vee is currently on tour. Check out www.sindhuvee.com for info and tickets.Ed Gamble is on tour. See his website for full details.James Acaster is on tour. See his website for full details.James’s TV show ‘Hypothetical’ is on Dave, Wednesdays, 10pm.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, listeners of the Off Menu podcast. It is Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu podcast. I have a very exciting announcement. I have written my first ever book. I am absolutely over the moon to announce this. I'm very, very proud of it. Of course, what else could I write a book about? But food. My book is all about food. My life in food. How greedy I am. What a greedy little boy I was. What a greedy adult I am. I think it's very funny. I'm very proud of it. The book is called Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy. And it's coming out this October, but it is available to pre-order now, wherever you pre-order books from. And if you like my signature, I've done some signed copies,

which are exclusively available from Waterstones. But go and pre-order your copy of Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy now. Please? Hello, and welcome to the Off Menu podcast. Oh, conventional. Conventional. I thought I'd go straight up, keep people on their toes. Oh, fair enough. I feel like I need to make up for it now for the people who are like, uh, licking your lips and shaking your hips. Licking your lips and chicken your hips. Licking your lips and shaking your hips. Licking your lips and shaking your hips. That's your intro, is it? That's what you do when you eat food. Oh, I'm not used to doing this part of it. I know. It's trickier, trickier than

you thought, wasn't it? That's why sometimes you've just got to do a straight down the line one. But welcome to the Off Menu podcast with Ed Gamble Me, and that's James A. Castahuev who you've already heard. Yeah, I'm a genie. This is where we speak to a special guest and we get their dream meal, which constitutes what, James? Their favourite ever starter, main course, dessert, side and drink. And this week's guest is wonderful comedian, Sindhu Vee. Sindhu's absolutely fantastic. She has a radio four series called Sindhu Stand. She's been on live with the Apollo and QI and all sorts of stuff. She's a fantastic comic and we're very excited to hear what her choices are. I'm really excited about

this episode. Yeah, should be, should be good. She's already been saying to us that she loves food and she's, uh, she could talk about it for a long time. So, uh, she seems very set on what she might say, I think. Yeah, yeah. I've had enough conversations with Sindhu to know that she absolutely, uh, believes in, uh, in what, what she has to say. Whatever she's saying, she believes in it a hundred percent. She backs herself. So I can't wait to hear it. Well, hopefully she won't mention the secret ingredient, James. Every week we have a secret ingredient that we both hate. And if the guest tries to put it in their dream meal, that will be ruining our dreams. Hence the whole illusion will fade and they will have to be kicked out of the restaurant

by the dream bouncer. Yes. And today's secret ingredient is sweet chili sauce. Sweet chili sauce. Get off my plate. Yuck. Horrible. What is the point? Let's just have a lovely thin jam with all our savory food, shall we? Absolutely. That's just ruins everything that it touches. I don't, I can't, I genuinely can't think of a single thing that it improves. Yeah, totally. I think there's nothing that you, you put it on that makes it taste nicer. It's when you get it with Thai food and stuff and you're supposed to dip like prawn crackers in it or something. You're like, no, the prawn cracker is a lovely thing. I don't want to be adding pudding to it. Yeah. Like I can kind of like, you know, if the people want to put

like deep fried like prawns or whatever and dip it in there, I can kind of let that slide a little bit. But like that's, that's, that's as far as I'm wanting to go, Ed. Anything else it annoys me. We're not letting it slide today. If Sindhu says sweet chili sauce, goodbye Sindhu. I'm afraid. But hopefully she won't say it. So we'll, we'll say fingers crossed, eh? Fingers crossed. Well, let's hear if she says it or not. This is the dream meal of Sindhu V. Welcome to the dream restaurant, Sindhu. Thank you for having me. Welcome. James, would you like to explain your entrance there to Sindhu who has made a point of telling us before the podcast that she doesn't listen to podcasts before she goes on them. So

I'd imagine that sound effect was slightly confusing. Probably also confusing when I appeared out of a lamp just now. Wasn't it Sindhu? I'm a genie. That's why that's why I've appeared out of a lamp for you. That's why I can make all your wishes come true for your perfect meal. Also a waiter. Okay. That's, but is it only for perfect meals that you make my wishes come true? Only for food. Okay. Food based wishes. If you have any other food based wishes, you know, I can take care of them if you're any that you want to slot in now. Anything you'd like to change about food? No, I like food. Food is good as it is. Great. There you go. No more food based wishes. That's fine.

Easy day for me. It's good to have a foodie on the podcast. Someone who's been thinking about it in advance and thinking about all of this stuff because we've had a couple of people on who are these people who just think of food as a fuel. Yeah, I don't, I mean, I, I think food is a fuel also. Yeah, it is also that. But even, you know, I mean, yeah, no, I think about food. I think about, I'm not fussy about food. You know, I'll eat what I have to and I'm hungry, but I'd like to think about it while I'm eating it and think this is the worst thing I've eaten. Why am I eating this? It's because I want to train. There's no other food. I wish I was not born a vegetarian. My life is crap or whatever. Do you know what I mean? But I'll be thinking about

it. I just want to eat something and not think about it while I'm eating it. And I think about food like in advance. I think I'm going to go, you know, to that city in India because my cousin's getting married and we'll go to that shop and eat that food. You know what I mean? I do that. I base my whole day around food or like, even like holidays and things, I'd be like, you have to go to somewhere where you can have three nice meals a day. It's not a holiday otherwise, is it? No. Point. Why are you going that far if you're not going to plan your food in advance? I will not go anywhere on holiday that's not planned around food. Or like I don't go to Greece on holiday for that reason because I don't like Greek food. It does nothing for me and I'm like,

I'm not going there, which has created some issues in my life, but I'm like, I'm not going there. Really? Do you know of people who are big into Greek food? Well, I know people who've had a wedding there and said, I'm not going. You said that you're not going. I'm sure my husband said, I'm not going, so we never went. I said, I'm not going to go there. Whose family was that? That wasn't family. It was very close friends. Very close friends. Well, not my very close friends because my very close friends would get married in Greece. Not anymore. He said, I don't want to go to your wedding because you're having it in a country. Well, we didn't say that and it was so long ago that they're never going to listen to this podcast, so it's fine.

Are they not your friends anymore? Well, I mean, there's that group of friends you have like from university that I didn't have that he had. They're kind of friends. Oh, it's your husband's friends. So your husband didn't go to the wedding. It was close friends. We didn't go. That's the bottom line. Because you don't like Greek food. Well, I just said this three days in some place, you know, I'm not going to eat that food and I hate it. It helped that we had young kids. So that's always like, let me tell you, if you're a mother of young children, you can back into that defense so easily and be like, but the children are so young, they will miss us. And really what you think is wine leaves with rice,

forget it. It's not going to happen. Greek food, per se, fair enough, but not for me. But like we were saying, I will not go there. You just wouldn't. No, I mean, one of my kids ends up wanting to marry someone in Greece. I'm going to have to make an exception. These are my children. You would go to that wedding. Yes, I'd go. It would be very funny if you didn't know. No, I know that would be something. But, you know, I'm not unreasonable. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's very reasonable your approach to the first one. To start, would you like still or sparkling water? Still, but room temperature, please. Now, why is that a preference?

Because I think cold water before meals or during meals is, it sort of dampens the taste of the food. It's cold water going into your mouth. I've never liked it. You've never liked cold water? No. Well, that's not true. In the boiling heat in India, I've liked cold water. But when I'm sitting down to eat, even in India, if it's very hot, I don't have cold water. It's too aggressive. You know what I mean? Cold water is too aggressive. I suppose it can, yeah, it can dull the senses, can't it, if you're having very cold water? Yeah, and it sort of makes your mouth be like, oh, I'm cold, I'm cold. Not, how does this taste? How does this taste? Do you know what I mean? So the next one that goes in your mouth,

it's having to like... Yeah, and also if you're eating warm food, then what are you doing having cold water? What message are you sending your face? Do you know? So you don't want to confuse your face? The whole thing, I think room temperature water is great. And so I always would like still water that's room temperature. That makes sense. I mean, the thing is about Sydney is that everyone of you always have a way of saying something that goes, yeah, come in here and argue with that. And then I'll probably end up halfway home and go, oh, it's bullshit. Why don't I even go alone? Yeah, the notion of why have cold water with hot food,

that I would have cold water with hot food. Yeah, so if you stop and think about it, I guess... But when you said why have cold water with hot food, my first thought was, Sydney's probably right. Yeah, but Sydney's right, it would be ludicrous to have. No, but I mean temperature hot, not chilly hot. No, totally, but I would say... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It just doesn't make sense to me. It just doesn't make sense.

You see when someone's like thinking, oh, something's too hot, they might want some cold water to cool it down. Maybe, or you could just wait, or you do and cool your food, you know? Low on it. Yeah, I mean, putting boiling food in your mouth in the first place and drinking cold water, the whole thing is absurd. Just take a minute, sort yourself out and eat the food and it's all right. Take a minute, sort yourself out, that's very good advice. Yeah, this crazy person just eating boiling hot food.

Yeah, they're cooling themselves down. Freezing cold water. Sure? Yeah, just a proper... Because cartoon character doesn't really make sense. Well, Goldilocks, that's Goldilocks, isn't it? That is Goldilocks all the time, but look what happened to her. Yeah, but also, she never brought up cold water, she just kept eating the things and then going through this family that had this, you know,

sort of radiation of temperature in the food. But I suppose she could have just drunk cold water. What I really like about your retelling of Goldilocks there is you at no point mentioned that they were bears. Oh yeah, well, it's family. You just said they were in family. Well, they are family. You're just family.

Just three people who, a couple who met each other, even though they both lived lives of different extremes. Yeah, but okay, see, if we're going to start taking Goldilocks apart. First of all, they're bears. Second of all, they're eating porridge. That's already... So if we just say family, you don't have to deal with those little weirdnesses. You're just focusing on the temperature of the porridge

and how she never drank cold water. Yeah, so it's like you never have to... If you met someone, if you were friends with the bear family, and then you met someone else who was like, you know, what are you doing today? And you were going to see the bear family, you would leave out the fact that they were bears because it over complicates bears.

Exactly. Yeah, I'm going to say family that I know, that's all you need to know. Yeah, and they're like porridge. Yeah, they're probably going to eat porridge. They're called a cherries. Yeah, and a bed each. And one is the soft and this and that. I might not even get into that.

No, because maybe that makes themselves too convenient, isn't it? It's a bit weird. If you have a lot of fairy tales, really, there's a lot of details you should leave out just to get to the point. And every fairy tale is weird. That's just, you know, you never think of it growing up, then you sit down one day to read a story to your kid and you're like, oh my God, okay, fine.

And then by the time you get to the end of the first two fairy tales with your first child, you're like, we're skipping fairy tales. Yeah. Because they're making me, you know, and then you just tell them Aesop's fables or something where animals are talking, but nice things are happening. So ish. But do you pass them off as humans, even to your kid?

The Aesop's fables just go, ah, there was a... No, no, because you have to read it for the book. He meant to drink from the water. No, because the great thing is with kids, you know, they have such an imagination for, they say things like, my teddy bear talked to me, this ant is looking at me. So they have that imagination already.

So you, it's not... This ant is looking at me. Yeah, it's all there is. Have you, have you never had that? No, they're thinking ant is looking at them. Yeah, yeah. Well, like, you know, because in India, when we used to go for holiday to India,

we're more open to the elements. There's flies and... Yeah, sure. And there's always an ant in the line going about their business as you do when you're an ant. And then one will stop every once in a while. And my son, when he was little, he's not used to having ants in the house.

So he would stop and it would stop. And he'd say, mama, this ant is looking at me. And I would say, so it is. So look at it. And then, and then it would be... That was five minutes. So, hold on. The whole line of ants is walking along.

And then one of them just stops and just looks over. And then carries on walking. No, it doesn't look. It just stops. And he thinks it's looking at him. He stopped to have a little look. Yeah. I guess ants need to take a break.

I don't know. Yeah. Have a look around. Look at your son. Better enough. Pop it up as well, Greg. Send in. Pop it up as well, Greg.

What's the first word? Pop it up. Oh, pop it up. Right. Pop it up. That's what it's called. But that's right. I'm not going to start doing that.

No, don't. I can't do the episodes we're in now. And you've been pronouncing it all wrong. No, no. But you've been... No, but that's the English... I completely appreciate... I've probably been pronouncing it wrong.

But I'm not going to... I can't change it now. People will not appreciate... No, no, no. That's fine. Because that's what it's called here. What kind of bread? Whatever bread you like.

Any bread you want. Sardo. You like the sardo? That's it. I'd rather have sardo. But also depends on the meal. But if I just... If just we were in a vacuum and it was like,

do you want popcorn or do you want sardo, I'd go with sardo. Right. Every time. Is that a place where you've had the best? Sardo? Yeah. I have...

I eat very good sardo here. Because I get it at this deli in our neighborhood, which is a Jewish deli. And so they have like old world breads. And they have really good sardo. What's the deli called? Panzers. Panzers.

Panzers deli. It's in Northwest London. Lovely. Yeah. So, yeah. And because I stopped eating bread, which I missed because bread is happiness. Yes.

And then I stopped and I was not happy. Why did you stop? Because I was on that whole thing about, you know... Low carb. I wanted to be skinny and this is how you do it and low carbs. And then I was so unhappy. And of course, like any well-married person,

I was like, my marriage must be shit. That's why I'm so unhappy. So I spent a few years on that. But turns out marriage is fine. It's just the bread was a big problem. Just when you were fresh. I was just unhappy. And so then I went to the doctor.

Well, and I've had some digestive issues and so went and talked to the doctors and this and that. And they said, fermented food is good. Try sourdough bread. And I, and sardo, but good sardo, where you need to grow your own yeast. So I'm starting that. So you've got a little...

It's going to start. I've just started making beetroot kvas. And now that I know how to do that, I'm going to start doing sardo. But sardo first one? Beetroot kvas. What's that? It's like a fermented beetroot drink.

Which I love because it's got salt and beetroot and it's just fermented in a jar. It's kind of alive. And then you drink it. And it's great. It makes good for your stomach as well. It's very good for digestion. Yeah.

Very, very good for digestion. That's great that you went to the doctor and they prescribed sourdough. What a great doctor. Yeah. Well, it was like one of those alternative doctors. As in a baker. From Panzer.

A baker at Panzer. It's the man who runs that deli. Yeah. You need some sourdough, young lady. And some hot cross buns. Exactly. Which are also lovely, by the way. But no, it's like a digestion doctor.

Okay. You know, which is important now. I think everyone has something going on with digestion and we're all wondering why. And I think it's because what you eat is a huge part of how you behave. And how you fail day to day. Yeah.

Yeah. So sardo is great. So, but sardo over popper, yes. Would you have butter with that? Yes. Or just butter, very important? Definitely butter. The better quality, the better.

Salted? Sure. Sure. Not bothered about the saltiness. Not good? No. No. High quality butter is so good.

Sixth bread. Do you want some of your fermented beetroot on there? What was that called? Oh, no, the drink. That's a drink. It's a drink. Because I don't want it on my bread. It's alive.

Thank you. But it is alive. It is alive. You're a very, very creative waiter. Yes. Mr. Acaster, but I would not like a drink on my bread. Do your children imagine that the drink that's alive is looking at them sometimes?

No, because they're old enough, but they think this kind of stuff is so gross. They're like, I... And it's talking to them? Yeah, I think... Monic, it hurts. Yeah. It's me, the drink.

No. It's me, Mr. Kvas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think a beetroot fermented drink is the opposite of what all kids would like. Yes. I think that's an anti-child drink, really, isn't it? And I'm not one of those people that thinks

this is very healthy. I've realized this as an adult. Let me try and convert my kids. No, because I've eaten so badly my whole life. I'm such a junk food addict that I think let them have fun. Let them have their time doing that. And then they'll get to a certain age and they'll go to the doctor

and they'll say, beetroot class. And then they'll call me. And then you'll be ready. You'll be ready there going, how was the doctor? I've got some beetroot for you. They'll be like, I have IBS. I'll be like, I've got beetroot class.

They only enjoy it when they're like not... So I think you've got to just like not have it for ages, healthy stuff. And then you enjoy healthy food when you're older. Absolutely. I mean, that's literally what's happened to me. You know, I've always... I'm famous among our friends for having eaten so terribly for so long

and gotten away with it. Gotten away with it is a euphemism for didn't put on weight. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? And... What was your diet like back in the day then? What would you have day to day?

Can I tell you something? Yeah. There was this boy I had a crush on in college when I was in Canada. And I used to eat like the corner store. I used to sell a slice of pizza for a dollar. So I used to eat that every day. And I had a crush on him.

And he was a bit like Birkenstock wearing, but you know, this kind of granola type. I don't know what I was thinking. Like a proper hippie type. Well, he wasn't a proper hippie, but he wanted to be very new age. Right, okay. But...

And he was also doing a master's in geography, which really tells me everything. I don't know why I didn't focus on it more. But you know, you have the hots for someone. What are you going to do? Sure, yeah. You're just like, I want to sleep with this person. Once with a hot...

Well, or whatever part of you wants. That's why. I'm not sure I was sleeping as hot as I was involved in this. No. So anyway, you know, so anyway, so one of the things he said to me was, you eat too much of that pizza. And I'm like, oh, I can eat it every day.

And he said, I bet you can't. And I thought, I said, I bet I can. He said, I bet you can't eat that. Like that's the only thing you'll eat. I said, I will four times a day for the next 42 days. I ate a slice of pizza. This guy finally was like, you need to stop. Yeah.

And, you know, yeah. Yeah, that's pretty incredible. So pizza, I used to eat pizza. Do you ever smoke, Tim? That, among other things. Yes, yes, yes. I think he was so impressed with my pizza experience. Yeah, that's all you get.

Anyone listening to the podcast looking for a sweet hookup? If you've got a crush on someone, all you need to do is eat four slices of pizza a day for 42 days in a row. 42 days. And I still remember I used to get the pizza and I would put just, just to be clear, I would put a napkin, like a paper napkin down

because they only gave it to you on a slice of, you know. You know. What did the people in the pizza shop think of this? They didn't care. They didn't care. There were so many students. It was on campus. They didn't care.

So what I used to do, they put the paper napkin down and I would sit in front of this boy and I would squeeze the pizza and the grease would drop onto the thing and then I would eat it because I was like, I'm winning this. Like whether we sleep together or not, I'm winning this thing so hard.

He had to ask me to stop. I'll sleep with you, whatever you want. Just stop eating the pizza. Stop eating the pizza. So I would eat pizza. I ate a muffin in the morning from the muffin place. The muffin place. The muffin place on campus.

I drank only Coke. I just didn't drink alcohol in those days. I just drank Coke. I remember distinctly, a friend of mine came to say with me, she's still a radio friend of mine, she lives in New York, and she opened my fridge and she was like, there's Coke and dill pickles. Yeah.

And I was like, guess when we can get pizza? She's like, no, no. Is this the only food in your flat? And I was like, pretty much. I've got a cup of grease. Yeah, exactly. Stays with some pizzas. Although I saw James's fridge yesterday.

Open your fridge. Looking pretty bare in there, buddy. Yeah. But it's your own place, so you don't give a shit. Yeah, sure. But it was right. The only things in there are jars of things that we've been sent free because we do a food podcast.

Yep. I had some sort of caramel sauce. Some praline paste that Salasi made us. Yes, you've told me about that. Was it yummy? Yeah, very nice. Because I kept putting it in ice cream. It was delicious.

Some sauce from the Ribman. Some Nando sauce that I bought. Some lemon curd that I got given free at a wedding. And a stain that the builders left. And a stain that the builders left for my drink. But I don't know what it was, but it left a stain in the fridge and I haven't cleaned it yet. But you know, if I didn't have children,

I would eat like that. I mean, when I worked and was married and didn't have kids, I remember my nephew came to stay with us and he opened our fridge. And there was two bottles of champagne in the fridge, some Coke and yogurt because my husband eats yogurt. And he was like, what should I eat? I'm like, I don't know.

Like, why are you phoning me at work? You know, go find some food. I was like, you can drink what's in the fridge. And he's like, but it's 9am. I was like, you know, go ahead, I don't mind. But if I didn't have kids, I would never. I was raised by a mother who's a fabulous cook. And we eat dinner every day together and we eat three meals.

And she's such a great cook. So I never, I was just fed really well. So you never had that time where you were like, I'm going to start doing this now? No. And also I didn't like eating when I was little, because they never cooked what I liked. Mommy would just cook food that was what was everyone wanted to eat by which it was basically her and my dad,

like grown up Indian food and we didn't live in India. And I didn't want to take that food to school and be the one kid. And I know it's such a cliche, but you open your lunchbox. And I was like, oh my, and I was at an American school and they all had lunch. Like they had white bread sandwiches. And they had such beautiful things in plastic.

And I had, I don't know, like a samosa. And you know, if you're the only Indian kid in the class and that's your food, you just don't eat. And you hate that food. I was always so jealous of the Indian kids at my school when they opened their lunchboxes. But you see, you had more than one. I was the only Indian.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was terrible. And my sister got lunch money because she was in middle school, she was much older. So she would eat canteen food. So I think I had a terrible relationship with food. And we'd sit down, it would be Indian food all the time. Except when my parents went out

and then we had alphabet soup from Campbell's. And it was literally like, like a gelatinous blob. But it was like, this is so good. This is American food. We're getting the letters and spelling out, I love the USA. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love the USA.

Yeah. And so I think that was part of the problem was I didn't like eating when I was little. So I ate the food and my mother always cooked it. And I was associated cooking with Indian food and which is by the way, the only thing I cook now. So, you know, all that stuff. And then when we came back to India,

mommy started working and then again, she cooked. And it was, then I started eating out more because I was older and that was fun. That was fun. But anyway, sorry, total dimension. And then eating for a while became a way of getting some, getting some men became a challenge. Yeah, exactly.

What are your starters, Cindy? What would you like? What could I get for you? Oh, man. Okay. So from my starter, where are we? Are we in London? Oh, the restaurant.

Oh, but you're a genie. You'll get me with everyone. Yeah, so you, wherever you are, wherever you are. Okay. So there's a fresh whitefish ceviche in Uruguay. Oh, yeah. Oh my God. It's on this little island in Uruguay

that I should remember the name of. That's a wedding I went to. But that's a wedding. What? I don't know. No, but it was, it was the best. I mean, by the way, I have two food lives. I've been a strict vegetarian up until 2010.

And then I was told I had to change my eating habits. I got very unwell and protein and red meat. And I was like, that's never going to happen because really for a Hindu to eat a cow is like you're really pushing it here. Yeah. And it was like, no, but, and I was very unwell. And my dad was like, well, you need to practice dharma.

Dharma is your correct duty. And your correct duties as a mother, and if you're lying in bed and can't get out of bed, that's not a good mom. So eat what they tell you. Right. Okay. So we made a compromise, the doctors and I,

that I would eat fish. So I started eating fish in 2010. It was a huge deal for me. Yeah. It was a huge deal for me just because I'd never done it. Yeah. And I, you know, I'm quite a, insofar as there's something called a practicing Hindu, I don't know.

I must, I am one. So, and I had, my husband eats meat, the children eat meat. I just never did. So after 2010, I have a whole different food life. Yeah. Because I started eating seafood. Yeah. And so I went to Uruguay four years ago and had this ceviche,

which exploded my brain. Yeah. And that's the one I want, please. Oh man, the first time I had ceviche was like, it was in New Zealand. And my girlfriend at the time, her grandmother made it. She had just caught the fish that morning. Oh my God.

And it was incredible. And I couldn't get enough of it. I never had it, didn't even know it existed. That sounds amazing. Yeah, but this is an Uruguay, like they caught the fish and they made it. And it was so fresh and it was so lemony and so hot, like chili hot and so beautiful that I, you see,

here's what was happening. I'm trying to think if any of the people in that group would, yeah, they might listen, but it's too late now, what are they going to do? So it was a big table like this, it was a big wedding. And to go from London to Uruguay for a wedding, it's like you're flying forever. You're going to Argentina and Buenos Aires

and this and that. So big table. And this ceviche was being made fresh and being brought. So after, and we were passing it around. After a while, I realized this is some very good stuff. And soon these, either the fish is going to run out or whatever. So I began, I was on this side, the receiving side of the plates. I stole some of the table ceviche.

I just took one plate and said, yeah, we're all talking. And I was like, and I put it down and then the next plate. And then I just kept putting stuff from this plate onto mine. I never ran out of ceviche. You put some under the table where you were, so you had your own little supply of ceviche all the time. And then just kept pretending to them, oh, here's a new plate and then adding from this plate.

Because everyone really liked it and it was going to run out because it was so fresh. Sure. And my, and I think my husband was on the other side. He figured out, he knows me very well. Yeah. He looked at me. Of course.

And my wife's absolutely scandalous wife. Is that the other way around? She's probably storing up ceviche for herself. Well, he kind of looked at me and he went, and he sort of looked at me and went, you know, and I was like, and he said, okay, this is happening. And it's very funny because last night I said to him, oh, I've got to think about, you know, food for this podcast.

What's the starter? He said, the fucking ceviche. I'm like, you're right, the ceviche. He's like, you stole from the rest of the table, including the bride and bridegroom pocket. You know, too bad. You stole food at a wedding. Stole food at a wedding.

But Gini, that's ceviche, please. Oh, absolutely. That's ceviche. I've got to try that. So that's like loads of, so fish, but marinated fish. Marinated fish and citrus. So the citrus is curing the fish as it goes, basically. Yes.

And a lot of thinly sliced onions. Yeah. Chilies. Yeah. There wasn't this one. Sometimes there's coconut milk and stuff, but not always. Not always. Yeah.

This was like just soup. And the thing is, I don't know what they've, and the fish is raw. But it's the citrus that starts to almost cook it, right? Well, to sort of tenderize it almost. And it's really flaky white fish that's just been, sadly for the fish, two minutes before in, you know, do, do, do, finding Nemo.

And then now look. Next thing you're going to say, oh yeah. Exactly. It's always good to remember finding Nemo when you're eating the fish. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, that was, and you know, I think also with all food,

it's the where and the how and the why. It was sunny. But I tell you what, I could be sitting in a dungeon. I would enjoy that ceviche. Also like, I kind of get like the stealing it stuff, because ceviche is always small. It is. And like the first time I had it,

so it was, you know, it's a huge bowl of it, because they're caught with the fish that morning. Yeah. And we would just put it into big like cereal bowls. Because it's not filling either, is it? No. So it's like light. It's quite light and fresh.

To me, I just want to be putting it away in loads of it, and you never get that opportunity. No. And I was like, I flew to Uruguay. I deserve. I mean, it was a long flight. Yeah. And it was a beautiful wedding.

But I was like, you know what, no one cares. No one minds. No one minds. And it doesn't matter if the bridal groom aren't getting as much ceviche. It's not about, the day's not about them. No. No.

And they're getting married. They're getting that. They've got this. And they're getting that. They've got those memories. You're not getting any memories. So you better make some with the goddamn ceviche. Ceviche.

And you know what? I can see the ceviche still. Yeah. But you can't remember who the bride was. Yeah. I know her. I know her. You can still see it.

Some people never saw it. They were like, oh, here's the sliver of onion in some lemon juice. At least you can describe the ceviche to people who missed out on the day. Yeah. I thought we just had lemon and onions. Your main course.

No. This is a, probably, I imagine somebody else you stole. No. Well, is it just one main course, though? You guys can't do that to me. Well, I think what you can do. Well, having got some honourable munchens. We can do honourable munchens.

OK, honourable munchens, yes. I do, because, again, apart from the fact that I have two lives, fish and no fish, I also have several lives. Like, I grew up in India, and there's that food. But then I married to a Dane, and then I live in England. And so there's all kinds of, you know, there's just a lot of crowding of the food space, you know?

Because when you're married into a different culture, you eat that food. It's not like, I mean, it's a choice, but it's not really, because it's part of those celebrations and this and that. Not that any of this is Danish, but I'm just saying. I'm just adding to. OK, so here's the thing. So there's, oh, man.

So if you've got a couple of honourable munchens, and then we'll go with the one that you're definitely picking. We're going to go with this, because there's one that I know that only the genie can get me. So I'm going to mention that. And then the other one, which is honourable munchen, I could probably get again, even though the genie can get it for me,

I could get it on my own. So that'll just be honourable. OK, that's fair enough. So in Italy, in near Florence, but I think more near, oh, yeah, it was near Florence. There was this place we went to live when we had very young children, two very young children. And it was like you went there all summer.

It was hot. And it was sort of, it was like Airbnb before there was Airbnb. Right. All right. And we went there. And the person who ran the whole thing, there was a very fancy hotel.

And then they had these little houses. And the fancy hotel was run by an older Italian gentleman called Mr. Mancini. Now, Mr. Mancini, he was a great man. And he once showed us, we wanted to drive into the city. And he said, oh, yeah, I'll show you where that is. And then he drove in his fiat with his one hand out and a cigarette.

Mr. Mancini was like in his late 70s, cigarette driving. Like you would be driving a video car if you were paying Mario. Maniacal driving, which as an Indian, I was like, ah, my Danish husband was like, we're going to die. The kids were screaming because they thought they were having fun. But anyway, so Mr. Mancini was great.

And he was very, very nice. And then one day I said to him, I like hot food. And he said, ah, Arabiata. And I said, yes. And he said, oh, I have my mother's recipe. And what I said to him was, yeah, but I mean really hot. Not realizing that Sicilians know really hot. Chili, yeah.

Yeah, but I'm like, oh, I'm Indian. I had all that arrogance. Oh, yeah, I'm Indian. Mr. Mancini went into his kitchen, into the kitchen of the hotel and made and invited my husband and I for dinner. Yeah. And made his mother's recipe of Arabiata pasta with angel hair pasta.

And I have never eaten anything that delicious. But oh my God, it was so hot. It was, and I had to keep face. Sure. Yeah, of course, after you'd gone, oh, I wouldn't read. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I mean, I had to keep face. And so my husband and I, and of course, my husband was like,

you know, I mean, he, I'll be honest with you. I remember distinctly that the pasta tasted very, very, very, very good. And the reason I'm saying this is the story is not about how hot the food was. The story was about the perfection that can be achieved in food. When it's so hot that as an Indian, you think, you can't think, your Danish husband has gone blind. That's it. It's no, no, not cognizant of the world around him anymore.

But it tasted amazing. Those tomatoes, the way he had done them. So you're fighting, you have a fight and flight response. Yes. You're like, I'm going to fight through to the taste. I want to run away from this taste. And then then that was the best main course I can ever remember in the Western world that I've eaten.

Wow. Because I, I know chili. And to be able to maintain taste at that level of chili is a beautiful thing. Beautiful thing. And those tomatoes were not sweet, but they weren't sour. They were just perfect. The pasta was, and it was angel hair pasta and it was been made by Mr. Mancini. I can't even begin to tell you.

I can't even begin to tell how great it was. Also a little bit crude, but I will tell you that when we were growing up, my, my parents had like Western friends who would come to visit and my father would always, and my mother and father would talk about the menu that my mother would make. And they would always say, you can't make the food too hot because these people get bad stomachs if they eat hot food. Bad stomach is in India is a polite way of saying diarrhea.

Yeah. And so it's not from the unpure food. It's so hot that apparently white people would just. Yeah. Just straight through. And literally after Mr. Mancini's meal, I was like, that is what they were talking about. So it was the only time, the only time I was like, oh, that's what mom and daddy used to talk about with, you know, with Westerners.

But during that meal, the taste was outstanding. I've never forgotten it. When you said mains, I was like Mr. Mancini's Arabiata. Mr. Mancini's Arabiata. Geez. Mancini's Arabiata. That sounds delicious. How, I mean, how was your husband after?

No, he was like, I said he was blind, not cognizant, unconscious, delirious. He didn't know what was happening. And he stopped like within like two minutes. He was like, I can't, I can't, I can't. But, and it was, it was easy to steal it off of him when he's blind, of course. I ate his, I ate mine, but you, but you have to remember my husband and I, he's, you know, we have this thing where we go to restaurants and we order and then they bring like the fruit, like we'll go out for breakfast in New York and then they'll bring the fruit with the yogurt

and they'll put it next to me and then they'll bring the pancakes and the French toast and the sunny side up eggs and they'll bring it to him and he's like, no, he's ordered the yogurt and the fruit and I've just got, and they always, they think maybe I'm, I don't know what they think, but it's always that moment where they look at me with different eyes. They're like, wow. But you know, if I'm going to eat something, I'm going to eat it properly. Sure. Absolutely.

Yeah. By the way, nothing to do with this, but if you ever go to LA. Yeah. You guys are going to go to LA, go to Gribble Cafe. You've already been right. Gribble Cafe. Maybe a half, no, maybe a half. The pancakes.

Oh, the massive pancake so humongous. And no, but tasty. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But like that was, so I think this is, if it's the one I'm thinking of. So, and there's always a line outside. Yeah. I used to know someone who like live on the corner from there. Yeah.

So I went there one morning and it ordered the pancakes and it was like, yeah. I, if the occasions I go to LA, I go and have breakfast at a place called Millies in Silver Lake that do a dish, they do a dish called Devil's Mass, which is like eggs and she's got, I think it's turkey actually as well, avocado and then so like spicy, like super spicy with some sour cream on top as well. Oh, nice. And it's huge, huge board. What is it about sour cream that makes everything taste better?

Yeah. But if you're in the mood for pancakes, Gribble Cafe. Gribble Cafe. And also you'll be jet lag, so you'll never meet the mind. Yeah, sour cream on waffles as well. Oh my God. Oh my God. Sour cream is so good.

So the sour cream on some waffles that have got like scrambled eggs and baked and baked into them. Oh my God. And the sour cream on top. What I'd like to eat right now. Yeah. I know, me too. Mine as well. Hardly there was a magical genie around to get it for me.

It's the curse of being the genie. You can't feed yourself. So Mr Mancini's Arabiasis, is that an honourable muncheon? No, that's the main thing. That's the thing. There you are. It has to be. That has to be the one.

Is that an honourable muncheon? Yes, yes. The honourable muncheon is if you're in Delhi and you want to go to Chandigarh for whatever reason, it's up in the north. Let's sort of north-west Punjab and you can go there to do a gig or you can go. There's a very famous temple up there. You might want to go to that temple. That's a Shiva temple.

But anyway, if you're going and you go by road because it's the best way to travel and you're with your friends, you will always pass a place called Murthal. It's just a little town, but the big, it's not even a town. It's smaller than a town. But Murthal is a place where there's a tradition in India of roadside restaurants because a lot of trucks, a lot of truckers and so on. It's the equivalent of the American diner and they're called Dhabha. Murthal Dhabha makes parathas, you know, but you know what parathas?

Yeah. It's like, I mean, I mean, I have grown up in India. I have eaten a lot of parathas in my life, but let me tell you, they make them filled with paneer, gobi, which is cauliflower, potato, but they make them fresh and they serve them. They're about, I would say eight inches across and like I would say maybe one and a half to two inches thick, fresh, fresh vegetables. They're made in clarified butter.

But when they serve them hot steaming and it's quite cold as you're getting up there, they put a dollop of homemade salted butter on it. Oh, wow. And you have, I mean, I cannot express to you the sort of joy that that brings. And I mean, calorically, it's like, you know, your six months worth of how many calories. Yeah. But when you're having, there's no point going into that worrying about the calories, right? No, no, no.

Because also it is the most soul-nourishing food. So parathas from Murthal, in particular the cauliflower one. Yes. You know, I have some very close friends now in comedy. And sometimes they say, oh, I want to go to India. And I say, I will take you and we will go to Murthal first. They're like, what's that? I'm like, shut up.

And then they say, I want to see Taj Mahal. I'm like, waste of time. We'll go to Murthal first. It's the one gift I want to give anyone who goes to North India, go to Murthal and eat the parathas because really that is India in a way that you can't see on a postcard. Right, yeah. So that's an honourable one. That's what I want, whenever I go to Murthal.

I would buy a postcard with one of those on though. And then eat the postcard. Yeah, then eat the postcard. Yeah, and then I let the postcard. I'll put the big butt along the postcard. Oh my God. I'm sure if I look in my phone, I have the pictures from when I went. Oh, that's delicious.

Oh my God. That sounds amazing. So that's an honourable muncheon. Yeah, I mean, just imagine. Just imagine. You've got flaky, flour, flaky, buttery, and then inside you've got slightly spicy potato or cauliflower. And it's just the right amount of salt and just the right amount of spice.

And it's all steaming hot. And that's, you're just eating that. Just imagine. I'll tell you what. It's the, this is the hungriest I've been on the podcast. Yeah, you're very good at describing food. I think, I think this is going to appreciate this episode. Yeah, oh boy.

This is very, very good at describing this food. Literally, I'm, if I didn't have kids, I'd just leave here, go to Heathrow, take a flight, go. Do it now. It just goes straight to Delhi and then sit down. I have kids, I'm going to do it. Exactly, just go. Off the back of that, five minute speech about those parathas. I would commission you for a full travel show series.

Yeah, yeah, I'll send you out. It's about food. Yeah, just talk about food. You're your blind husband. Tempart series, all about taking your husband around, trying to make him blind. Yeah, each episode you just see if you're making blind. Oh my God, poor guy. That's fair.

Poor guy. If I'm not allowed to do this, you can just say no. Okay. But there's one more honorable mention for, I mean, of course, but you can say no. Honorable mention, if you want, it's an honorable mention. So again, fish life. I started eating fish when we were in the south of France. Because we were in the south of France and my husband was like, the fish is really good.

You're never going to eat it because you have such a huge issue. But if you ever felt like eating it, then I remember I reached over and I put it in my mouth and I was like, what is this taste? But anyway, there is a place in south of France in Central Pay called Club Tahiti. And they do a salt-baked sea bass. It's a whole fish, it's big. But, but, but, but. When you have lunch in Tahiti, there's also women walking around the tables,

modeling very skimpy beachwear. And the music is loud and everyone's drinking. And it's kind of one of those Central Pay kind of scenes. And so these women are walking by and they're sort of in their bikinis or what should be bikini, but is, I don't know what. Anyway, and they're doing that. The salt-baked sea bass is so good that when it's served, I know men who are like, I need to eat this, I can't be looking at this.

It's that good, right? I've seen it. And the thing is with this is it's literally fresh, fresh. And they've done nothing but bake it in salt. And to make a fish like sea bass, melt in your mouth, taste amazing, just because it was covered in salt with that kind of whatever, that butter thing that they put in with it, that's very good. Also, I mean, it has the power to magnetize you away from stuff

that you might otherwise really have a hard time not paying attention to. Yeah. That's a really good way of making a chef up their game, isn't it? Yeah. And say, look, we're going to make some bikini-clad women parade around. We're going to put really loud music on. So you're going to have to make a dish that will distract people from that. Yeah.

And when we say bikini-clad, I mean, this is Central Bay. We're talking about Victoria's Secret Angel level. Yeah. We're not just talking about like me strutting on a bikini. People are like, I'd rather eat. No, I mean, I'm talking about that. And it's just amazing because I've always watched as the fish has arrived and everyone else has, you know, up until then, they can't get their eyes off this.

They just, and then they're like, oh, we eat this instead. I've never been to a strip club. But from what Cindy just said, I might start eating a strip club. Yeah. It starts up the food there is amazing. Well, I've seen things where apparently there's amazing steak in strip clubs. Like people will go to strip clubs in America for specific wants for steak. Is there amazing steak?

Or is that like, I read it for the articles. You got to go there for the steak. That's really good. You're a side dish. Moving right to the side dishes. Um, side dishes really, you know, I'm not a much of a side dish person. It's not a huge part of Indian eating, but it's not a huge part of my eating. Like if I like a side dish a lot, I'll buy, I'll get four and have a main dish of it.

So I'm not, but I thought about it because your podcast and I kind of, um, I'm fond of you too. So I thought, let me do my homework. Thank you very much. Um, and I thought any kind of Daffodil Noir potatoes. Oh, yes. And then I thought, well, yeah, but that's like, when you say any kind, what do you mean? I thought, well, where have I eaten them that they're good? And then I thought, well, there's a place in London.

It's kind of fancy schmancy. They make very good ones. It's called La Petit Maison. It's fine. It's fine. I mean, they're not the best I've eaten in the world, but I can't remember where the best were because it's something I eat often. If I can get my hands on it and if I somehow feel compelled to have a side dish,

the Ed's favorite kind of potatoes. Are they? They are. They're my favorite kind of potatoes. I know that. Yeah. Because? Because we went through a phase of asking, uh,

asking each other what our favorite potatoes are. Yeah. There's a group of friends that we've got who are all comics. And we, one day we were all bored and just did our favorite type of potatoes. And, uh, as we remember the Ed, no one had thought of that one yet. Really? And Ed had held back a bit. And then when he said that, a lot of us were like, oh, actually.

Yeah, that's a great kind of potato. Especially if you make them with proper cream and butter. Yeah. Of course. You got to go full, full gallery. Right. And you've got to slice the potatoes so it's not too thin. Yeah.

Yeah. You don't want too thin, but you don't want too thick either. Because then it's just like a steamed potato in the middle. Yes. Yes. You just need layers, lots of layers. And you need the layers so that, because the thing is with the Afonimo potatoes is that if they're just the right, uh, thickness,

then the cream and the butter are sort of, they're integrated with the potato, with each potato when you eat it, right? Yeah. It's not like, and that's really important. Very important. That's really important. Oh.

I mean, I suppose my favorite kind of potato is Danish Christmas potatoes that they're caramelized, but that's not a side dish as in you only have it at Christmas. But you just said favorite kind of potato. What do you mean they're caramelized? So they're, Yeah. They have little, little new potatoes.

Yeah. And they caramelize them with butter and sugar. And they're a side dish and they are beyond the beyond. And my father-in-law makes the best. I'll say that. You can have them with your side dish if you want. You can't really have Christmas food outside Christmas. Okay.

I mean, that's all you're imposing on yourself. Yeah, there's no rules at the restaurant. You can have that side dish if you want it. No, no, I can't. Because if I eat it now, I'll be like, this is some cognitive dissonance I don't need. You'll feel like it's Christmas? Yeah.

No, I'll feel like it's not Christmas and somehow I'm eating these potatoes. It's very wrong. You'd be confusing your face again. You don't want to confuse your face. Yeah. My face would be like, what, there's no tree, no presents,

bitch, what are you doing? Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, it would be too much for me. I also shout out potato wise to Potatoes Boulanger. Oh, what's that? They're sort of like dauphinois, but instead of the cream and butter,

it's just stock. So what, my mum does this a lot, is she'll do a roast lamb, but she'll roast the lamb on top of Boulanger. So it's just thinly sliced potatoes in stock and then you add the lamb on top and all of the lamb just pisses juice all over the potatoes.

And it really is absolutely incredible. Until you use word pisses, it sounded delicious. Yeah, I was just going to say that's made of a little weird. Yeah, thinly sliced onion as well. So it's onion and potato. Just dribbled juice. Yeah, I got used to like here, Sidhu described food in a very intense and delicious manner.

And then you weighed in and say pisses juice all over it. I'll change it. The lamb, jizzes juice all over there. No, stop, just see. There you go. This is why I'm in this area. It spunks up juice all over. Nice.

Vomits juice all over. Yeah? No, not vomits. I mean, jizzes was better than pisses. I heard a great jizz joke, by the way. Dying for it. But I can't really tell you. Dying for while we're in the neighborhood.

Why not? Because it's a visual joke. Okay. Describe it. You do the joke. And then we'll describe the visual. I think it's a joke that everyone knows because it's so, but I have only heard it.

So, saying that you like visual jokes with your blind husband? Can't appreciate any of these jokes. It was a temporary blindness. Yes, it was, yes. He wasn't probably made by the pastor. Oh boy, that would be very dark if you came on and you chose the main dish.

Yeah. Oh, that's a poster. That broke my husband's life permanently. Fortunately, once the blindness subsided, that's when the diarrhea really kicked in. Exactly, exactly. Just in time to see what he'd done. Exactly.

Poor guy. So anyway, so can I say the joke? That was such a great joke, but I feel like everyone knows it. So if, anyway. So there's a guy goes, well anyway, there's two people in a kind of a medical clinic

and they're waiting for the lift and the lift comes and they both go in and there's a man and a woman and the man says to the woman, what floor? And she says, fourth floor, I'm going to donate blood. And he says, okay, and he presses 10th

and she says, oh, are you going to donate blood up there? He said, no, I'm going to donate sperm. And she said, oh, how much do you get for that? And he said, well, I get $100 of squirt and what do you get for blood? And she's like, I get $2 for a liter or whatever. Like, so he says, okay, anyway,

then the next day, a couple of days later, he's back and she's there again and they go in and he says fourth floor and she says, and he says, where are you going? She goes, oh, get it? Yeah, that would be so weird if you didn't get it. I would have told it very badly.

So for the listener, he says, what floor? Cindy should go ahead. He says, where then? And then she points upwards while bulging her cheeks up. She's got her mouth full of sperm. Come on, like, yeah, I'm going to spell it out. She's gone and sucked someone off

and she's got her mouth full of sperm and she's going to donate. He's always like this, I mean. It's really, I mean, okay. You're playing into his hands. Okay. Do I turn that into a disgusting pun as well? Um, right.

Which leads us quite neatly onto your favorite drink. I love it when there's a joke that's so open wide that not even, it's so blue, but even James has to go for it. Like, come on, someone's going to do it. Um, so drinks wise, again, I came to alcohol very late in life and so I've got two lives.

And my alcohol life deserves a mention. So my favorite drink ever was in, when I first started, when I first, should I hang out with my husband and we got married, which was all very quick. Like the, between the hanging out and the marriage was not even a month. So, very quick.

Got to watch the show. If you want to hear about it, because I really can't go over it again. Okay, yeah. Watch the new show, everyone. Do you want to plug it in? So he took me one day to have a drink at the London Savoy

and it was the London Savoy White Russian. Oh, yeah. And I was like, I, I wanted to drink tequila. I was a classy gal. I was like, oh, that's a tequila. Like, and he said, no, no, you got to have this drink. He's a more cultured person.

Let's be honest. Let's just be honest. He's more cultured. So he said, try this. I, I don't like cream. But that drink, the way they made it there, it's a white Russian from the London Savoy. Every time.

I don't know if this is all imbued with that first romance thing, that, that, that nostalgia, but all food. I mean, as my mother says, you know, which means I should translate to the hungry person, even the doorway looks like crisps. Because you're so hungry.

Sounded wiser. Sounded wiser. But beforehand, before you translate it, it sounded a lot wiser. It did not sound. I mean, I thought, what is this? Why is our old cannibal that we were about to be told?

And it's literally, it's madness. Even the doorway looks like crisps. Well, if you're so hungry, you'll eat anything. Even the door, to the hungry person. But when you, when you said it initially, we both, we both nodded. We were like, very respect, we both respectively nodded.

That sounds so wise. It sounds so wise. It's just, it's just the thought of the hungry person. If the tiger has not eaten a kill. It's literally the equivalent of in a cartoon where someone's hungry and they see their friend as a big roast chicken. There you go.

It's exactly because when you're so hungry, the point was your mind and how you feel about food are very interconnected. So I think, to come back to my white question, it might have seemed, that might seem the favorite drink I've ever had because of that time, but also they make it very well.

I don't know if they make it anymore like that because they had a refurb. And then I never went back. So I'm like, I don't want to be disappointed. Sure. Yeah, you've got to. And I tried having a white Russian elsewhere. Well, I mean, I have white Russians once a year. So I don't have them.

On a specific date? Yep. I don't have them any other time. When do you have them? Once a year. And then I drink them all evening at Nishkuma's birthday. So that's the only time. Oh, the one in Edinburgh? Normally it's in Edinburgh.

It falls in August. So normally we're all in Edinburgh. And I can't remember how the tradition started. Well, Nish loves it. So Nish liked them anyway. So we'd drink them on his birthday. And there's a bunch of us that were like... Has he been on this podcast and said it was his favorite drink?

No. Good. He can't. And he was on the Christmas episode, so I had to stay quite Christmassy. So he completely off your tour. I mean, he could have had those potatoes. He could have had Danish Christmas potatoes if he wanted to. If only he knew that existed.

Yeah, exactly. One year, because it's a brass monkey in Edinburgh. I went there this August, but I didn't know about the white Russians. Yeah. So normally one year we had so many white Russians that Stuart Goldsmith had to go out and buy some more milk because the barn ran out of milk. And cream.

They do it with milk, right? This one wasn't cream. See, I can't. That's the thing that I would be sad. I don't drink cream because I don't want to drink milk all night. I think that's a recipe for disaster with booze. I know. I think it's a recipe.

Although this year at Nish's birthday, I had six Bloody Mary's, which was also a mistake. I was full. I felt like I was just drinking soup all night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gospacho. But the thing is with drinks that you have to have when you have the thing. That's very important.

That's super important. Like there are certain friends of mine where it's like, if we meet, it's like, okay, it's tequila. It's tequila slammers because there's no other way to lubricate this. This is how we roll. And for me, if I've had a serious day, not serious bad, but serious, serious, then I have to drink bourbon.

Why? And I tend to drink bourbon. I drink whiskey and bourbon. I don't drink, well, I mean, I drink gin and whiskey and bourbon. But whiskey. Favorite bourbon? Um, I would say my favorite bourbon is bullet. Yes.

That's a good one. It's a good solid go-to everyday bourbon. It's a good solid bourbon. I like Eagle Reserve. Yeah, Eagle Reserve. But you know, Eagle Reserve can be harsher. Yeah. And you've had a serious day.

I don't know if you need a harsh bourbon, but you go to bullet, you're great. I'll tell you, one I had recently, which I really enjoyed was Blanton's. I haven't had. Blanton's is, it was really cool bottle as well. It's got a little horse on there. It's like a little statue of a horse, and I think,

and Ivo Graham bought me a bottle, actually, to say thank you for giving him a gig. And it's one of the best bourbons I've had. It's delicious. I thought Ivo thanks people. Yeah, I know. I was going to say a classy chef. Geez, I've given people gigs before.

It was when we were stuck in New York, and I couldn't do a gig in Weymouth. So I said, Ivo, can you go and do a skit for me? It would be much cooler if you were in Weymouth and gave me a gig in New York. Ivo helped you out. By taking, but it was a good gig. It was good money.

Right. And it was very grateful for the take from the gig. It must have been good money buying him Blanton. And he bought me a bottle of Blanton's. Thank you very much, Ivo Graham. Well, I remember that. Next time I need someone to fill in for me. Yeah, a gig.

Like, here's a gig I ever, I will expect a Blanton tomorrow. And then, of course, I drink single malt. But, you know, that's when you're just relaxing. There's no agenda. I don't know anything about single malt. Scotch is a confusing world for me. Oh, but I only drink Japanese, so I don't have to do this. Okay, so I've just started getting into that.

Oh, I'm big into that. Yeah? What have you had? I went to Japan and brought back a bottle of hibiki. What kind of hibiki? It was the master's choice. Oh, yeah, that's the mix. Yeah, that's a good one.

That's an easy one to drink. It's very good. Super easy to drink. I've been through it. I've gone through it already. It's very impressed at that. No, but it is. No, because it's a really...

When I say it's a blend, I don't mean that in any pejorative way. I just mean it's a really easy whiskey to get to. You don't feel like you've had a big whiskey and, you know, you need to go into Glasgow and fight with people. It's just like a really relaxing drink. But there's also Yamazaki, which is a bit more... I would say it's a bit rougher.

Fiery. Fiery, fiery. But Nikkie from the barrel. Yeah. That's a beautiful one, because it's... Nikkie from the barrel. Nikkie from the barrel. Similar to Jenny from the block.

Sounds, sounds, could be, could be. No, but Nikkie from the barrel is good. It's sort of in between. Yeah. But hibiki, good choice. It was, yeah, it was lovely. I've been to, I've gone through that very quickly. Yeah, and I, as of, at the end of 2018,

I had to decide to drink less. By which I mean specifically drink less whiskey. Yeah. Because that's the only thing I was drinking. And I just had to drink less whiskey, because it was getting to the point where I was drinking whiskey every day. And if you drink whiskey every day, it becomes a serious drink. And I was imagining drinking it all day.

So I thought, this is not going well for me. This is not going well for me. And so, and the one thing I will say is that I miss hibiki. Now I'm fine. I haven't had, you know, I don't drink that much. And I had bourbon over the weekend. But a great choice. I'm drinking less whiskey.

I've got some Japanese whiskey at home. Don't know what it's called. Have no idea. It'll be great. But I'm going to have it today. Good. Tell me what it's called. Oh, well, I'll text you.

I'll let you know what it is. You know what I'm going to do, straight after we finish recording this, is I'm going to go to a whiskey shop in Soho and buy some Japanese whiskey. Oh, good. Because I thought you were going to say you're going to piss over some lamb or something.

Yeah. Your dessert. My dessert. Your dessert. We come to your dessert. You know. This is the one that I get most excited about every week.

OK. It's a dessert. So, you know, I have, you know, my dessert theory. No. Which is, oh, you guys are going to love this, because it's anyway. Dessert theory is, so when I first started eating, when my husband, I would go out to eat

before we were husband and wife even he's a very healthy person and so he would be like oh I don't oh I can't if I have this main course I can't have dessert and the first time he said that I was like what that's not how it works and he was like what do you mean I'm like don't you know how the stomach is there's a room there's main course room and a beverage room and this room and then there's a dessert room yes so it's like whatever you have in the main course room doesn't affect the dessert room and he said that doesn't make sense and I'm like let me ask you this would you go into your kitchen and take a shit and he said no I'm like there you go so that what's great about it is like I know that's before you were married and you've already said that there wasn't

much time between you it was like already it was let me ask you this within a month of knowing if you went let me ask you this would you go to the kitchen to take a shit and he said well you married me no but it's a question I said there are certain things you don't do in other rooms so what do you mean doesn't make sense he he said you've converted me completely and after that has never stopped to wonder about main courses and desserts that he said you've converted me completely because the amazing thing about so I you know I suppose say I've got dessert stomach and all that stuff but obviously that's not how the stomach works of course it is if the stomach is divided into little rooms for different things you would have a point to say to him look would

you shit in your kitchen but as it is there's I thought what he was objecting to originally was him being like oh but there's not those are different separate rooms in your stomach but you thought he was just saying you thought no he's brought into that yeah that's the rooms I've just got to yeah he said you've converted me I said great then let's start eating and stop this kind of you know fear yeah so he said okay and here we are and also that was the day he stopped shitting in the kitchen as well that's but then he said oh I mustn't do that now Sindhu's explain how the food thing sounds like I should not be shitting in my kitchen but I think the thing is I think it's about removing fear from eating well a lot of people worry and I think the moment you

worry your mind body and soul releases certain things in your body and then that food doesn't benefit you so once you have the room theory then you hog out what you want yeah and then then then you work it out over time do you see I mean it doesn't mean you turn it irresponsible but yeah I've had a one week dessert a thorn of course I have yeah but only eight desserts yeah every day for one week uh because I could yeah and turns out after a week you're like oh it's a lot of dessert I don't feel like dessert you know what I mean like you don't just keep doing it yeah and then die of sugar one day you know what I mean it's it stops so yeah okay so that was my dessert I thought I thought you should know about my theory um so this dessert I always liked sweets uh and

always liked dessert mommy didn't let me eat a lot of dessert because she said you are five ten which is so what abnormal and if you eat too much you'll become a mountain then who will marry you so it was a huge thing for me that was less of a left turn than the crisp yeah I was wondering what I was gonna be if you wait it was your head will become a cherry no it's all about sugar sugar sugar sugar and then she used to say you know that you're anyway so weird and 50 years old you'll be a 50 year old freaky giant no one will marry you this that anyway so eating dessert was like a big thing eating dessert and not being allowed to go out and come back when I wanted two big things I got I came to university here and I was allowed to come because

it was a big deal and the two things that my my first of all I came to the student accommodation I had my own key yeah I was like I can come and go I used to do my laundry at three in the morning because I could I just would like oh my god I have a little party and the second thing I discovered was there was a restaurant in the town where my university was and it was called Bella Pasta and they had a dessert called a godfather I think I know this dessert okay first of all it's it's about I would say it's about six seven inches round yeah it's got brownies and ice cream and cream and chocolate fudge sauce and more brownies and cream and then it has sparked yes I know the sparklers and they bring you this dessert and it's a sharing dessert

every monday wednesday friday when I was at university I ate one by myself that's three days that's three days a week he's a godfather wasn't it who are you who are you trying to get off with this time no don't call the only no I hadn't yet even what is the day of your daughter's wedding I could eat three of these a week I hadn't yet progressed to all about boys yet I was still stuck on keys and dessert I was like what is happening although to be honest I had a year and a half I'd been allowed to leave for a year and a half to try to go back and have an arranged marriage which was it been fine um it really whatever I always give that caveat because people always

think oh arranged marriage that's terrible poor her not forced marriage arranged marriage yeah so I knew in that year and a half I had lots of things to do primary among which was to have a boyfriend and to get laid yeah because afterwards I wouldn't really have any choice as in I would get laid but with this one person that what if what if it was bad you know yeah and so that was a huge mission but only after the key and the godfather thing yeah then it became a huge mission but oh my god that dessert you know what I'm talking about yeah I know what it is I don't think I've had this I've never had a dessert with spark doesn't it oh yeah I mean I was a I was a little fat boy so I do remember going to Bella pasta and being like I'm getting the godfather yes and then I'd

be like with my mum I'd be like we should share the godfather and we both knew I was eating most of that I didn't even used to go with anyone I used to go by cell yeah that's a baller move and and because I for the third time that week yeah same branch every time obviously there was only one yeah yeah so just making sure they always recognize you when you came yeah would you have a main meal as well or just the godfather depending on what time I had between tutorials because I used to play basketball so there's like a limited amount of time during you know that you could do shit and write your essays and go and read them out and all that stuff but my friend who's still my friend though the new york one she said to me recently she said you and that godfather thing and I was like

I know but the reason it's the best dessert I've ever had is because sometimes the best food you have is the one that opens your mind to the notion that that stuff exists yeah yes it just I'd never experienced such a thing so it was like it's I had the same thing when I went to uni where you suddenly realize I can eat what whatever I want whenever I want and it just everything tastes like freedom exactly everything tastes like freedom and all that chocolate I love chocolate and then the sparklers it was such a celebration every time yeah it was a celebration that I was at the university yeah that I was hopefully going to get laid uh that I was eating this it was just the whole experience to me was so great the first time you went in in the kitchen they must

they must have been like oh we've got godfather make one godfather and i'm like this is for this lady's coming up coming alone there must have been a decision when I do we put the sparklers in this time yeah I've come back every time yes did you get some sparklers yeah she's celebrating one day getting laid yeah exactly some day getting laid exactly right but but also I didn't always go alone but if I had to go ahead there was no one yeah absolutely yeah and it was such a great dessert but that was funny though because the first time I went there with my boyfriend uh he was swiss and older and he was doing a phd and he was very erudite I will never forget he said oh you know he wanted to go to an italian place and I was like oh we have to go to bella pasta which I think for

a lot of europeans was kind of like you know and we went there and he spoke three languages and all that and we sat down and I said oh I'm going to have the godfather he he was you know he was a little troubled I'll be honest with you he didn't have the open-mindedness of my husband who would have been like you go for it and he was like oh that's so sort of that's so amusing and I thought you're missing out on this but that's really your problem you go ahead and eat that creme brulee shit I'll have this you know what I mean it was a I do remember but yeah image of you like looking across the table like I'm just eating the godfather saying to him let me ask you a question would you share your own would you share your kitchen that never came up that never came up that never came

up that so that was my favorite dessert really and it was a big deal oh that's such a good choice I think let me read your menu back to you you would like some still room temperature water yes you'll like some sourdough from panzers panzer panzers you'll start a you would like whitefish ceviche from Uruguay the main you would like mr mancini's arabiata the side dolphin wise potatoes drink you'd like the white Russian from the savoy yes and for the dessert you'd like the godfather from bella pasta exactly right what about you excellent menu Cindy so good beautifully described thank you so much this was so fun I've never talked about food with people and then they've sort of incorporated jizz and and the conversation and yet the conversation has continued yes yeah yeah

jubilient way that's never happened it's because it had to I guess I mean if this is not a podcast and it said that you might have gone okay I'm see later because like you're really ruining this jam having me about I was trying to talk to you about potatoes you said about jizzing lamb sort of lamb jizzing on some good good bye exactly so thank you for having me guys this has been great wonderful wonderful stuff from cindy there oh delicious I saw your mouth watering a couple of times Ed they did I was spraying all over the place yeah absolutely loved loved that menu I think that's one of my favorite menus I think yeah no sweet chili sauce thank you very much Cindy thank you for staying in the restaurant and eat your full meal we're on the same page thank you very

much cindy's on tour later in the year yeah make sure you catch her you can find her dates online as of the time of recording there's not been announced yet but you should be able to find them just uh google google cindy v2 follow on twitter there's all sorts of ways to follow up with this kind of stuff yeah you have to tell you that kind of you know how to navigate the internet I'm on tour as well you can find that on the internet I'd imagine and James is on tour yeah that's probably somewhere on the internet look on the internet uh oh we forgot to say at the top about all the food we've been sent oh shout out to all the people sending us food thank you very much uh especially to my two friends Ben and Jerry I mean this was a big moment for James when we got a little message

through from Ben and Jerry saying we'd like to send you some stuff this was this is like James's life finally clicked yeah it was like this is it this is all I've ever wanted from stuff yep I started doing uh stand-up comedy in 2008 on the open mic circuit and it's all been building towards this two years logging out on the open mics then doing tour support to people for another year and a half going to Edinburgh year after year doing solo shows then doing the panel show circuit just working my way up getting a podcast with my friends mentioning Ben and Jerry's enough on it that I get Ben and Jerry themselves contact me and say what's your address for sending us some ice cream and my parents were like what they might be able to send you some proper ice cream it'll

melt in the car no it won't they've got a special way of delivering it and I couldn't be happier thank you Ben and Jerry you made a boy very happy thank you Ben and Jerry but not just Ben and Jerry thank you to Seed and Bean for sending us some lovely chocolate and thank you to Hup Peas sending us some of your wonderful pea crispy snack things which is very delicious I'm waiting to dip them into my ice cream yeah everything's getting dipped in that ice cream now yeah well thank you so much and obviously keep sending us stuff if you if you want a little shout out because quite frankly I'm supposed to be eating healthily at the moment I told myself but turns out if it's free it doesn't count no if it's free it does not count and I also found

out that I have absolutely no shame when it comes to getting free stuff I do not care I'll quite happily on this podcast encourage anyone to send us food also oh we've got some Laurent Perrier champagne as well oh to celebrate getting the Ben and Jerry's what the what the gentleman from Laurent Perrier said is he said I'll send you some bottles to share with your next guest I thought yeah yeah no chance as if yeah I think we'll be releasing a podcast where it's just me talking to myself yeah oh what a wonderful guest you are at got long on here that's my guest well thank you Sid Duffy I thank you everyone who gives us food subscribe to the podcast review the podcast we love you all

hello it's me Amy Glendale you might remember me from the best ever episode of off menu where spoke to my mum and asked her about seaweed on mashed potato and our relationship's never been the same since and I am joined by me Ian Smith I would probably go bread I'm not gonna spoil in case get him on James and Ed but we're here sneaking in to your podcast experience to tell you about a new podcast that we're doing it's called northern news it's about all the new stories that we've missed out from the north because look we're too northerners sure but we've been living in London for a long time the new stories are funny quite a lot of them crimes it's all kicking off and that's a new podcast called northern news we'd love you to listen to

maybe we'll get my mum on get Glendale's mum on every episode that's not the news when's it out Ian it's already out now Amy is it yeah get listening there's probably a backlog you've left it so late