Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 151: Rob Brydon

Episode Date: June 1, 2022

We’re back in National Treasure territory, as Rob Brydon – who has eaten a lot of food both on and off camera – joins us in the Dream Restaurant.See Rob Brydon on tour. Go to robbrydon.live for tickets. Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, listeners of the Off Menu podcast. It is Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu podcast. I have a very exciting announcement. I have written my first ever book. I am absolutely over the moon to announce this. I'm very, very proud of it. Of course, what else could I write a book about? But food. My book is all about food. My life in food. How greedy I am. What a greedy little boy I was. What a greedy adult I am. I think it's very funny. I'm very proud of it. The book is called Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy. And it's coming out this October, but it is available to pre-order now, wherever you pre-order books from. And if you like my signature, I've done some signed copies,

which are exclusively available from Waterstones. But go and pre-order your copy of Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy now. Please? Welcome to the Off Menu podcast, taking the egg whites of conversation, whisking it as hard as you can with the whisk of the internet, pouring it into the ramekin of humour, putting it in the warm oven of chat and making the souffle of entertainment. Wow. I mean, Ed knows so much more about cooking than I do, that I don't know where it's going until, I don't know what it is until the end. I was like, what is this? What's he made? Well, there's some other ingredients I didn't put in, like any sugar or any flavouring,

so it's just hot egg. I've made hot egg. Hot egg? Yeah. Well, in many ways, that does represent the podcast. Yes. That's Ed Gamble. My name is James A. Caster. This is the Off Menu podcast. So we have a dream restaurant, and we invite a guest in to tell us their favourite ever, Start a Menkles Dessert, Side Dish Drink. Not in that order. Did I say them all? Start a Menkles Dessert, Side Dish and Drink. That's all going in. Not in that order. And this week, our guest is Rob Bryden. Rob Bryden, of course. Rob Bryden, National Triage. National Triage, baby. Wonderful actor, wonderful comedian, wonderful host of Would I Lie to You? He does it all. He's a Renaissance man. Yeah, has his own podcast, Bryden and. Yes, he does indeed

that you've been on. Yeah, I don't know if he's been out yet. So who knows if we go out with this go out before or after that one, but we'll see. We'll see. We'll see. Very excited to have Rob on the show. Big fan of Rob's have been for a long time. Both big fans of his work. However, if he does say the secret ingredient, an ingredient which we deem to be disgusting, we will kick him out of the podcast. Although, you know, it's actually this week as an ingredient that someone else has suggested that they suggest. And this week, the secret ingredient has been suggested by Gareth Edwards on Twitter. And Gareth has suggested Jellied Eels. Jellied Eels. Now, I'm worried because Rob is he's

old school. Sure. He's an old school entertainer. He sings, he dances. Yeah, he does jokes. Yeah. Jellied Eels, quite an old school thing. Yeah. I guess more of a London thing. And Rob is, of course, a Welsh man. Yes. I'd worry more if we got like Mickey Flanagan on or someone. Yeah. He might pick a Jellied Eel or like a Jellied Eel. Or that guy who plays Bricktop in Snatch. Like those guys, they might choose a Jellied Eel with Rob. I think he's probably on safe ground here. But maybe he's trying to go against type. Maybe he's like, yo, everyone thinks that I just love stuff from Wales. But actually, I love Jellied Eels. Here's a Jellied Eel. I've never had a Jellied Eel to be fair. Neither have I. I

don't want one. They've never looked nice. They've never been described nicely to me. But maybe that's just the company I'm keeping. Maybe I need to speak to different people. They're the sort of thing that you would think is ripe for like a hipster vacation. Yeah, sure. Maybe they the idea of them grows people out so much that they could never. I wouldn't be surprised if someone has it tried it or is going to try it. Yeah. Because like also that that look of like you can imagine someone with like the braces and the wax mustache. Yeah. And they're selling Jellied Eels like in a pie shop or something. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's going to happen if it hasn't already. Yeah. Well, there we go. Something to look forward

to. Something to look forward to. But if Rob says it, he's out. Rob says he's out. And so is that we'll chuck a hipster out with him. Yeah. Just for balance. Yeah, Benito. Yeah, Benito, little hipster. Those stupid braces, your stupid braces and big mustache. Yeah. That's what Benito looks like. Everyone always asks what does a great Benito look like? Yeah. Like Sweeney Todd, but with Nike's on. Yes, exactly what he looks like. Yeah. Ed, you're going on tour, aren't you? I'm going on tour. I'm on tour. Yeah, on tour. Gamble Electric is the name of the show. EdGamble.co.uk. Four tickets would love to see you at them. And you can pre-order my new book, James A. Kessler's Guide to Quitting Social Media, Being the Best U You Can Be and Cuing

Yourself of Loneliness, Volume One. Pre-order it wherever you get your books. But for now, this is the off-menu menu of Rob Bryden. Welcome, Rob, to the Dream Restaurant. Well, it's so nice to be here. Thank you for having me. Welcome, Rob Bryden, to the Dream Restaurant. I've been expecting you for some time. I can only echo what I said to Ed, really. Thanks very much. It's very nice to be here. Yeah, yeah. Very exciting. What do you think happened in front of you there, that sound? I think that was the genie. I've done my research. You never know. I've listened to this. I've got enough respect for you guys that I listened and thoroughly enjoyed it. That was the genie. Yes. Popping out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Popping out

with quite vociferously today. It was a good pop-out, I think. It's a good pop-out, but it's quite confident. You know, I've got to be confident around Rob. Yeah. It's got to be confident around Rob. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't show me any weakness. See, that's interesting. I feel naturally at ease around Rob. Yeah, yeah. Immediately. Yeah, yeah. But you've got your guards up straight away. Yeah, got my guard. Yeah, well, you're right now. You're right to do that, Acaster, because if you show me the slightest chink, I will take you down. You'll get me. I will. You will. Well, you know, I'm happy to take that. Well, I don't want to take that. There'll be nothing you and your modern, up-to-the-minute hipster humor can do about it.

It'll be old school all the way. Man, imagine if, like, there's another series of the trip, and they were like, you've got to have a, you know, some new blood, some modern hipster humor. Yeah. And I managed to make the cut. We take you along with us. We're getting destroyed. Like Scrappy-Doo, Scrappy-Doo around the table. You're the kid that's with us. We're getting absolutely just torn apart. I don't think you would. I think you would overpower us with the power of now, basically. And we'd look like two grandads, and we'd be going, go on, Steve, come back to him with something. Oh, I can't forgive anything. It is really fast. I know, but you are as well. Well, sorry, you. Why don't you say something?

But obviously, you and Steve are back and forth with impressions as well in the trip. So, James would have to get involved in that, really, wouldn't he? Yeah. Would you do? Oh, no. So, James, what could you do if it was all sort of, if it was fast-paced impressions around the table? I know where he's going with this, Rob. You've got one up his sleeve, who? Well, I haven't got a nice spot. Well, obviously. This is a regular thing on the podcast. It's so far up his sleeve, it's popped out his collar. It makes me do an impression quite regularly on this podcast, and I don't like doing it. And I've been very, this, he's really done well here. It's very early, isn't it? It's very early in the podcast. Very early. But because I specifically

like it when James has to do it to people who are good at impressions or accents or anything like that. Yeah, but we can move on. No, no, no, let's hear it. So, who is it? Well, I'll do it and you can guess who it is. Oh, good, good. What would you like me to talk about? Talk about. I have to act like I'm on the trip with you and Steve. Yeah. So, you could say something like, well, talk about the food. Let's say we're having a lovely starter. Talk about that. That's what we talk about. Oh, Steve, do you like your starter? Huh? Donkey. It's donkey meat. Steve, are you eating your starter, man? Oh, is that meant to be Mike Myers doing Shrek? My name is Shrek. It's Shrek, is it? Yeah. It's only because you said donkey, if you hadn't said donkey. Yeah, the first bit,

you were going for that. You may as well have said, oh, Princess Fiona, she's lovely. I mean, yeah, that's not good. I've got, I've got too much, I've got too much respect for you, James, to say anything other. No, no, it's not good. It's not your area. I would stay out of that area. I would like to see that on the trip though. You got to admit that. Oh, there's no doubt you committed to it. Is anything that made it worse? Is that the first thing on the checklist of a good impression? Commitment? Yeah. Throwing yourself into it. No, it's sounding like a person. That's the first thing. And that's the bit I think that James skipped over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have, you have so many talents, James. I mean, I think you've got to, it would be like me trying to do

keepie-uppies. You know, it's never going to happen. It's rubbish. No, I can't. But you want to try? Your character in the trip would try. Your character in the trip would be very competitive. Of course. Yes. But of course, you see, that's where my character in the trip is very much a fabrication because I'm not that. I'm competitive in some ways, but in others, I'm massively uncompetitive. I'm happy for a no score draw. But then you think very sportsmanly. You told me a story about throwing sweets into an audience. Oh, yeah, yeah. Where you were thinking like a tennis player. I do like playing tennis. How you threw the sweets was like, you weren't just throwing the sweets. You were like, right, I've got to do it like I'm serving in a tennis match. Well,

because it's in front of an audience. This is one we're doing, would I lie to you? And before the pandemic, what they do on those shows, I think probably you're on most panel shows, so they do a long record. So they bring you sugar basically to pep you up. So they would bring jelly babies around and you'd eat them. Because you just go up and then you crash the other side of it. But so what I would do is I would throw some out to the audience, you know, get them involved. Underarm to the ones near the front, but overarm for the ones where the back and, you know, they people would laugh. This is fun. But I threw one. And as James said, you know, really, I want to get the projection follow through on the throw. So you get a bit of distance.

And this little old lady was sat in the front row of the raised bleachers bit. And it sailed through the air. And she wasn't paying attention. It hit her squarely between the eyes and she went down. She went down like a sniper had taken her out. Do you know what you say? And she went down. And if I'm being honest, my first thought was for myself. I just thought, oh, my God, what have I done? And she stayed down for what seemed like an eternity. It was probably only the 22nd, not even that long. Yeah. And she and she was okay. And I've never thrown a jelly baby from that day. Was there any part of you that was quite satisfied when that happened? No, I thought everything was over. I don't think you can end a career on that.

The actor and comedian Rob Briden has been detained in custody after assaulting an elderly woman in the audience of the popular panel show. Would I lie to you? Yeah. But then it's like you read further on. People don't read further on it, do they? They don't. They see the... I think the only way your career is in danger is if after you had thrown it, you had said bullseye. She goes down and you go bullseye. I was in the audience and distinctly I heard him under his breath. He said bullseye. It didn't shout it. I'll give him that. But under his breath and he slightly punched the air with his fist. But then the way entertainment works, it'd be 10 years of nothing and then you'd host a reboot of bullseye. Yeah. But you know, I tell you what, I wouldn't be happy

with the 10 years of nothing. Call me a stickler. Yeah, just don't throw sweets. 10 years of nothing. And then bullseye. Of the three of you on Would I Lie to You, who do you think has the best taste in food? Oh, good. Oh, that's interesting. The best taste in food? Probably me. I think I might have the most curious palate. Possibly. I think Lee is quite... I mean, we've eaten together a zillion times. Yeah, Lee is quite basic. I mean, in every sense. David is a little more urbane. But he's also quite cautious. He's a cautious man. Well, we've interviewed Victoria on this podcast. Yeah. And we know about their eating habits. So what did she say? Well, I feel like there's more about her that she takes sandwiches for dinner parties. He's kind of meat and potatoes,

aren't they? They're meat and potatoes guys, aren't they? When they go on holiday, they take a mini fridge with them so they can have their own food from home. Oh, dear God. Do they honestly? Yes. Oh, that's pathetic. I don't know why that hasn't come up all our lives yet. I was with him last night and I will be with him on Friday night. And you can rest assured I'll be bringing this with him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that makes me angry. You want to say, you're a grown man. Come on. But it surprises me with Victoria. Because Victoria is as bright as it's possible. Now, we've sort of been on holiday with them and with Lee. We've all gone off together. And we made the mistake of playing banana grams. Are you familiar with that? Yes.

It's a great game. Yeah, great game. And a high speed scrabble for a busy young guy. And you don't want to play Victoria, Karen Mitchell and banana grams. I mean, my wife went to Cambridge and she beat her. I can believe it. I thought my wife was unbeatable. I was like Mickey leading Rocky into the ring. Go on, show what you can do. And then she was, you know, Victoria was Ivan Drago, you know, being led in by David. And yeah, Victoria wiped the floor with us. To the point that all the joy left the game. Yeah. Did you look at your wife a little differently after that? Yes. Yes.

We always start with still a sparkling water on the podcast. Do you have a preference? Yes, I do. Sparkling. Always sparkling. And typically, San Pellegrino. I do have choices with these because I find Badoir a bit too, is it too much sodium? What is it? Something salty? It's a bit salty, isn't it? Yes, it is. Now, once in a blue moon, that'll be nice for a change. But generally speaking, San Pellegrino in a glass bottle. Yeah. The only complaint there, the bottles aren't very big. We get crates of them delivered to home. When we get through, we get through about two of those a day. Wow. Crates. No, don't be silly. Don't bring your absurdist humour into this conversation. Doing his hips the joke together. He sees a chink, he gets in there,

doesn't he? Just offered a sideways glass at their situation. No, no, bottles. Two bottles. Two bottles. So you're drinking sparkling water instead of still water regularly at home to quench your thirst? Yeah. Not always, but often it will be. Certainly with a meal, it's sparkling. And even other times in the day. And then I fluctuate between room temperature or chilled. Generally, it tends to be chilled because that has more impact, doesn't it? It distracts you from the stresses and strains of life because it's like getting into a bath. For about 10 seconds, you forget everything. And then you're sat there, you're a sitting duck, aren't you, for all the thoughts to come back. Is that not how you view

a bath? The thoughts come back? Yeah, yeah. I guess so. I guess the thoughts will come back pretty quick. The thoughts hit me in the bath. That's when they're hitting me. That's what I'm saying. But there's no moment. Outside of the bath, outside of the bath, nothing's going on. Nothing. If you're feeling the weight of the world, you think I'm going to have a nice bath, well, we've got a dreadful bath. We bought what you, if you looked at it, you say you've got a good bath because it's fancy and it looks like a cattle trough, right? A little chap like me, I can get no purchase. So I can't get a position because if I tried to sit up, I slide all the way under. My legs, my feet won't reach the other end unless I'm really, unless I'm almost

perpendicular or parallel to the bottom, you know. So it looks great. And I find that you get in and the initial thing of the heat of the water, all lovely, lovely sensory all over, but then, well, hang on, what am I doing now? I'm in the bath. Go on. Yeah. So you more of a shower? Are you more of a shower? Yeah, I like the shower. Yeah. I had one today. Well done. Is it going to shower? Yes. Well, I often warm up my voice in the shower because I've been touring with a band, lovely opportunity for a plug, robbriden.live. And for that, you have to keep your voice good. So yeah, I tend to do that when I'm in the bathroom. What's your vocal warm-up? It's set for me by my musical director. It's a series of vibrations and hums and then vowels

and then all sorts of different things, you know. So there's songs? No, not a song as such. I'll sing along with stuff then that I listen to, but no, it's not really songs. It's more things like that and or and weird sort of sounds. And I know you're right to look physical, but it really works. Yeah, I was hoping to hear even more. Do more if you want. Just have fun doing loads of noises. You do things like and then I remember when I first... It's my favourite so far, by the way. When I did Human Remains, we were about to start filming Human Remains and it was made by Kugans, Steve Kugans company. This was a big thrill. So Julia Davis and I and we filmed it in Brighton

and they're out there. So we were there. I remember this so clearly and this is 22 years ago and we met up with Steve in a hotel the night before and he was telling us about the importance of warming up your voice, right? When I'm on tour, I mean after a while, you're like, but it just sounded like Alan. And it's very hard to take seriously. And he was and he was sitting there all earnestness, you know, and it's very hard for me to think of a vocal warm-up. It's odd what things stay with you, isn't it? But that has stayed with me. He was right, of course. You have to look after it. Sure, absolutely. Pop it up, it's all bread. Pop it up, it's all bread, Rob Brighton. Pop it up,

it's all bread. Okay, well, it's a reasonable question. And I'm going to... A lot of my answers are going to be a bit centrist. They're going to be a bit Tony Blair, I'm afraid. Putting, you know, you know what, to one side. I'm going to say a bit of both. I like a pop-a-dom. Now, I have an issue with bread. As a young man, I had Olympic level acne on my face, not my back. Some people have it on their back. I would have loved to have had it on my back. Back knee, I believe is the... Back knee, I've never heard... Why have I never heard that? Anyway, I had it on my face. So, I ended up on loads of antibiotics. In those days, they give you tons. Now, they're very wary of them, aren't they? And as a result, I think it

affected my gut. So, I find it hard to process, probably digest, yeasty things. So, that's fungal things like the mushrooms and breads. So, and then it affects my skin. So, I can eat sourdough bread. So, that's what we have at home. So, I would... If I were in a restaurant and it's a dream restaurant, so you're not thinking about consequences, I'd have some of the best sourdough bread and I would have salted butter with it. And that would be just delicious. Every time there's butter in a restaurant, I think of you. Wow. Do you? Yeah. Why? Don't dip your head in the bloody butter or the... So, there's a bit. What's that from? In the trip, you're showing Steve your hair. Oh. And you dip your face forward to show in the top of

your head and he goes, don't dip your head in the bloody butter. I have no memory of that. It's great. Is that the first one? I think it's the first. I think it might be the first episode. Is it? Yeah. Every time there's butter, I think of you sticking your head in the butter. Really? I've forgotten that entirely. Wow. Every time I see a sandwich wrapped in cling film, I think of you, Rob. Why? Because there's an episode of human remains. Oh. Where you're selling sandwiches and they're all wrapped in cling film. And I think one of them's a lamb sandwich. That always makes me laugh when I think about it as well. Yeah. So, there you go. That's great. That's it. I mean, you see, human remains, no one remembers it. So,

and it's one of the best things I've done. You could argue it's the best thing I've ever done. And it is awfully good. I mean, I would wave the flag for that at any day. And yeah, that was the cut. That was Les and Ray more than that. More than that. He used to talk like that. Yeah. And that was a situation being, you know, we can't shift him. We got lame. Can't shift it. You know, and she with Julia was this utterly depressed woman, utterly depressed. And he would say to her, all right, take up, happy, happy. And she goes, no. I mean, I see it more than happy. Yeah. And he would sing songs, he'd make up songs. I've got a guppy in my bucket. You remember that? Yeah. I was upset. I was upset. Sweet Lord. Well, this is a lovely

little ego massage from me, isn't it? When I was at university, I had the DVD of it. And during Freshers Week, I decided that I'd try and get everyone in my halls of residence to watch it. Nobody enjoyed it. They were all shit-faced. I was like, everyone, be quiet. You've got to listen to this. Well, that's better than they sat down and watched him just saying, oh, well, yeah, that was, yeah, I've got a guppy in my bucket and he isn't looking well. A guppy in my bucket and he isn't looking well. A guppy in my bucket and he isn't looking well. And then he would do his nasal, his nasal music. Remember that? We go, like you in the shower.

Like a military band. Yeah. The other one, I mean, the risk of just listing lines that I really like from it. The other, the other song is that I do sing out loud to myself quite a lot is, sweeter than sugar, sweeter than wine. Wow. You may be the only person in the world who remembers that song. I don't remember that one. I remember, well, he took her on there. Given that I ended up doing cruise adverts. It was quite funny that in that episode, they want to go on a cruise, but he can't afford a cruise. He takes on a ferry and he says, oh, man, it's not cruise, a ferry, but what is a ferry? It is a very fast cruise, isn't it really? Oh, that was funny. And do you remember the bit where they rehearsing selling, they're practicing selling some flowers?

Yeah. And he's shouting up, how much are they? How much for daffs? And there's one, they're trying to do the accounts for their house. The cash flow, they put a fiver in the box. Yes. And there's a bit where Julia says Blank Ham, where she says, we improvised this, and this is very much my attitude. This is how I am with maths. He's trying to do the accounts and he's going, right, we got 70 plus four, he's 74, we know that. Which I love. And she's in the distance. And she's going, what do you want, Les? What do you want, Les? Carry the one, carry the one. Really basic maths. And she says, well, you want some ham? And he goes, yeah, right. She goes, right, Blank Ham.

Blank Ham. I mean, what even is that, as they say? Oh, I love that you like that. Oh, it's fantastic. Before we move on to another situation where I always think of you, you can guess what the... I'm staggered by this. You can guess what the... Yeah, see if I can associate it. Anytime I'm, I don't want to be too specific, every time I'm at, it's at an airport. Yeah. From at an airport. If I've arrived a bit too early at an airport. Yes. Good lord. Something to do with me. Yes. And my work. Yes. Airport. I have no idea. Manny and Jeff, when you arrived too early to pick someone up. Oh, there was. Yes,

there was an episode where he's waiting at the airport. Yeah, he's waiting too long. I have a look. I look around W.A. Smith. Does he say that? Yeah. And it's that specific line. Because you're like, I look at my W.A. Smith, he says, I could probably be in there 45 minutes before they move me on. Yeah, that's right. It's the line I always think about. So before we move on to starter. Yeah. Do you want Papa Dom's and bread? Is this all you know? Not really. I like Papa Dom's. But for the meal that I'm about to tell you about, a Papa Dom would seem wildly inappropriate. So we're going with this lovely sourdough bread with the salted butter. Yeah. Nice. But not too much of it. Because you know,

it's all about balance. Life is all about balance. And the right meal is, you know, you don't want too much of that bread, very tempting just to have the bread. So just enough to make a dent and then move on. What's the starter then? The dream starter? I'm going to go oysters. Yeah. I came to oysters relatively late in life. It was my first trip to Australia in about 2004. I went over to make a sitcom called Supernova. It's a light-hearted, amiable fish out of water story. Were you the fish? No. Yes, indeed I am. Yes. So you threw me then. Yes, I am the fish. I am the fish. I'm an astronomer and I go and work in the outback with some oddball Aussies. And I had such a great time. And we went there and

the early days of me and my wife, Claire, who you met, James the other day, I'm a little nervous to introduce her to Ed because he's a lovely looking boy. But I felt comfortable. I felt comfortable with you being there. Ed's got the look of a young Elvis meets Tom Cruise. Yeah, I see. I see your wives. You've got the look of one of those guys that used to help Elvis. I can't believe this. I cannot believe this. Or one of the guys that Elvis used to meet when he went to visit a charity place. I'm joshing with you, James. Claire liked me. She was thrilled to meet you. You know, remember my daughter and my elder? She's a huge fan of yours. I met her and her mates. You did, yeah. Yeah, and then they came to see you live. And it was, you know, I phoned James's people,

so I'd love to come and see James, making out like it was going to be me. Yeah. And then gave him to my daughter and rised out. Straight off. Free tickets. There you go. I can't wait until he's invited in the audience. Couldn't ask for them back, could he? It's just not the done thing. Were you looking for him in the audience? Yeah, I was looking around. They could see my eyes searching. Where's he? Where's he? Where's he gone? Listen out. Where's that laugh? Yeah. I had that in Edinburgh once, where Dara O'Brien said he was coming to my show. And I thought I was coming tonight. And so I went out there like ready to see Dara, like looking around. And I looked down and Dara wasn't in the audience. I looked down and John

Leslie was in the front row. So that really threw me. Yeah. I don't think Dara got a ticket for John Leslie. He just happened to have been there on that night. Yeah. So Clarence, we went to Australia the first time. And I growing up at a very limited palette. I grew up in South Wales, Baglan, Port Talbot. And we were very, you know, not unusually so. It wasn't like it is now. You know, you had very basic food. And I was not curious at all. So it'd be all the normal food. I don't think I'd had pasta. I hadn't had spaghetti when I went to drama school. All sorts of things I hadn't had. So we go out and certainly never see food. So we're out there in Australia. We're at this outdoor restaurant of the rocks area down by the

bridge, Sydney Harbour Bridge. And have you ever been to Australia, you guys? Yeah. Well, it's gorgeous. It's just so vibrant. It's just brilliant. And Clarence says, let's have the seafood platter. I thought, you mad talking about that's going to have all sorts of out. It comes and it's got oysters, lobster, shrimp, crab, all these things. And I find I love it. And I'm loving these oysters. So we phone home. We phone Wales. The time difference means they will probably be like my mum and dad. And I say, I'm sitting by Sydney Harbour Bridge. And I've just had crab and this and that. My mother says, oh, you'll pay for that. She said your father had crab in 1973. He was sick for a week. So that began my love of seafood. So I would say I love oysters. They always make me feel

like something special because you tend to have them with champagne. And if you, and I'm sure you would, because it's a podcast, you wanted me to expand on oysters. I have three. Yes, three oyster related stories. Each of them, each of them involving a famous person for a food podcast. I mean, this is manner for heaven. It is full. It is falling into our laps. Okay, so Tom Jones, James Corden, Dale Winton. Wow. You choose the order. Who are we starting with? I personally would like to go. I'm asking you for your starter. Hang on. Should we say it? I think you will choose the same. Same time. Right. Okay. So it's going from first to last. First to last. Ready? One, two, three. James Corden, James Winton. You work together. Good Lord. So James. Okay. The second

time I went back to do a second series of this show in Australia, in Sydney. And it was the same time that James was touring the world with the History Boys, the National Theatre. And the same time that he and Ruth were getting Gavin and Stacey together. And they'd given me the script and asked me to play Uncle Bryn. And I was reticent because I thought he's quite similar to Keith Barrett, in that he's a naive, well-meaning Welshman. And I still harboured ambitions to be Robert De Niro at that stage. And I thought, I can't just keep on doing this thing. Hey, turns out you can. So I was undecided. So we meet up one day, he and I at the beach at Manly and with Chatty Chat Chat. But the oyster thing was I took him out for lunch. There's a lovely restaurant in Rose Bay

called Catalina. And from there you see the seaplanes landing, taking off. It's so gorgeous. And I take him there. And I'm really on my oyster kick by now. I'm Mr. Oyster. And I say to James, who we've got our voices, you know, because James, while now is who he is, he was this very provincial kid from High Wickham, you know, you know, like that, you know. I said, you want some oysters? Oh, I've never had an oyster. And I said, well, I'd be going, oh, I don't know, Bobby, I'm, he calls me Bobby. I'm not sure. I said, well, come on, we have some oysters. So he would, he would only have it. You know, you can get those deep fried oysters. Yes. So he would settle for that. Okay, it's something. Oh, no, no, no, no. He tried. He tried

a normal one. So he has it right. It's all they're ready to do. Put some vinaigrette on it. Right. And he sits there, right? The man who would conquer the world. But this is before that. And he sits there. And he looks nervous. And he goes, and he tips it up, put it into his mouth, but he keeps it in his mouth, right? And then you look at his face. And of course, he's a wonderful actor. But this was all real, but he's showing you everything. So he sat and he looks terrified, right? Terrified. And he's like this. But then he starts to get a sense of the flavors. Oh, it's quite nice. So then he goes, oh, and his face is changing. And he starts to sort of chew a little. And he's about to swallow when the weather changes in his mind. Oh, no, he doesn't like this.

And the fear comes back. And he goes, and he spits it out into a napkin. Oh, no. At that point, did you look at that and think this guy's going to conquer the world? I thought, I thought, I thought this provincial bozo is going nowhere. This small town Sam, he ain't going to amount to nothing. So Tom Jones, Tom Jones, please. When we did Islands in the Stream, number one, thank you very much for Comic Relief. Yes, it's a novelty record, but I don't like to think of it that way. We went for a dinner. Me, Claire, James, Ruth, Tom, Son, who's his manager. Gordon's in this one as well. He makes a cameo in this one.

Yeah, he was there. Yeah. So we go for dinner at the sort of chef's table at Corrigan's Restaurant, which is in Mayfair. And if you ever spend time around Tom Jones, he is the ultimate alpha male. And they order what you want to study. I love oysters. Right. And we think, well, how many? Well, I would never have more than six oysters. I love a dozen. Good God, a dozen oysters. I mean, good, that's a lot of oysters. I'm way so potent. And I'll never forget. You know, you get the section of lemon in muslin, muslin. So he gets it. And it was just the way he squeezed the lemon over the 12 oysters was one of the most manly things. You know, what's that Flight of the Concords line? I'm so

proven to all the women in the front row got pregnant. I mean, it's like that. I wouldn't I would have recommended pregnancy tests for those because it was so as he did it, I was watching him and I kind of went, oh, it was just, you know, because he's from he's from another year. I mean, he's super successful now in this year. But do you know what I mean? It comes from another time, doesn't it? You know, I know it's amazing. So that's my that's my second. So when he like revealed the lemon after he'd squeezed it, it looked like there's nothing left. Nothing left. That lemon was done. When Tom Jones is shucking the oysters, is he like doing some of his trademark, you know, noises in between the oysters? It's a lovely thought, isn't it? Would you like me to imagine

what that would sound like? Well, I'm going to, I'm going to eat the oyster, you know, with my mouth and you go, oh, yeah, right. Tastes, it tastes good. As if good is an exotic word. Yeah. So that doesn't mean just eating, by the way. Shucking is the opening. Yeah. Shucking is open. They were already shocked. They were shocked. Although he could chuck them himself with his bare hands. He probably do with his teeth. I'm not going to open them with his teeth. So that was, that was him. And then the Dale one, lovely Dale Winton, no longer with us. There was a New Year's Eve some years ago, and we had Dale, who I got to know a little bit. I ended up doing a few things with him and David Walliams came because they were big friends, came for New Year's Eve dinner

at the house and the wonderful house. I think they brought presents for the boys and everything, they were charming and everything. And we had oysters and we prepare the oysters and Dale went, oh, oh, no, I've never had an oyster. He never had. We've all had oysters in this room. He'd never had an oyster. You sort of assume that once somebody is enjoying the fruits of their labours, that they're going to broaden there and they're going to, they'll have been in a situation where, I mean, as I say, I didn't until I was 35, 36, 37. Anyway, never. And so I gave Dale his first oyster and he liked it. I suppose he spent a lot of time in that supermarket and I'm not sure they had oysters in there, did they? I've never made that. That's funny. I've never

made that connection. Yeah, super nice. So there we are. Those are my three. And in many ways, they're in descending order of entertainment, aren't they, as we've discovered. I like the Tom Jones one of my favourite, I think. I've thought that Dale Winton one was heartwarming. Yeah, Dale Winton is his first oyster. That's nice. Do you like a big oyster, or do you get big oysters sometimes? Do you know what? I'm a little embarrassed to say, I don't know. There is one I like, but I don't, I couldn't tell you what it was. I always have to ask advice. I always say, well, which is the one that tastes me? I like it if they taste of the sea. I want them to taste of the sea.

I like the creamy ones. Yeah, creamies are good things to say to people. If they're nice and creamy. No, no, not have cream in them. Well, I'm not an idiot. Rob, you don't understand. They don't have cream in them. Well, I'm not pouring cream in them. Thanks for clearing that up for me, James, because for a minute there, I thought you were having oysters with cream. I wish I was as sophisticated as you, and I'd know these things. What are you putting on? Are you using the vinaigrette and the shallot? Yeah, yeah, I love all that. No, it tends to be, I don't think,

do you know what? I don't think I've ever tried Tabasco. I've sort of, I've found that I'm happy with the vinaigrette and shallot, and I've gone, I'm not going to try anything else, which is silly. Tom Jones could just crush a whole bottle of Tabasco. Hey, don't put your hand in the glass, wouldn't it even be that any more is powdered? Here we go, here we go. Do you want six on your dream, when you're dreaming? It's six. You don't want to go the full, Jones? No, I don't, I'm not, I'm not man enough. It's as simple as that.

Your main course. All right, now this was difficult. This was difficult. I've gone for something you might say, well, this is a little dull, but, but this dish has to be done as well as it can be done. So this is somebody doing it, who can do it just right. And I'm afraid it's a, it's a lovely Sunday roast lamb lunch. Don't be afraid of that. Well, I know, but it's, it's a little, sort of be well-slam, you know, there'd be lovely gravy. Now, Welsh gravy tends to be thicker than English gravy. And I'd like somewhere in between. Happy, happy medium. I'm a centrist, as I said. I'd want parsnips,

but they've got to be done just right. I'd want carrot and sweet mash. That's lovely. Have you ever had that? Yeah, that was, I think, I don't appreciate that enough because when I was a kid, Mum would do that, but we wouldn't have mashed potato. And I think as a kid, I was very ungrateful and would want mashed potato because like, that seemed to be like what the other kids had. Carrot and sweet is so good though. If it's done right, you want, you want a bit of structure to it. Yeah. I don't want it to be too fluffy. I like a bit of, plenty of black pepper as well. I'm not a big black pepper guy. Black pepper and sweet mashed potato.

Well, I'll try that. Yeah. Okay, I'll try that next time. I'd have roast potatoes. I'd have Yorkshire pudding. He hates Yorkshire pudding. He keeps saying it on the podcast. It's just mad, isn't it? Isn't it crazy? They take up a lot of real estate on the plate and that could be filled with a, sort of extra mates, et cetera. That's interesting. Not such a threat now, is it? The minute Claire heard that, she'd look past you. And she'd look at the more interesting fellas next to you. I wonder what history is.

Interesting about loving Yorkshire puddings. Yorkshire's are lovely because they got such a, such an individual taste and also the structure of them, the way they yield after a gentle prod. Yeah. That's not too suggestive though, am I? They do though, don't they? They look as though they're a house of cards, really, and they collapse under questioning. Without gravy. As soon as they touch gravy, they're gone, right? But I know, I do love them. That's what I'd have, but I have to stress, not just me making it. It's got to be done by someone who knows what they're doing,

and it's just right. And also, that it gets to you while it's still piping hot. That's one of the big problems with the Sunday lunch, the timing element. So, so often, you find yourself biting your tongue for the sake of the host, and you want to go, well, it's kind of, it's almost cold. Yeah, they're very out of fashion now, those hostess trolleys. You can see why people had them. You can see why they came in, yeah. I've got a couple of questions, Rob. Yes, please. What cut of lamb? Oh, sweet Lord. I don't know. Again, you see, I, isn't that, isn't that embarrassing? I'm going to say leg, leg of lamb.

Yeah, leg classic. I think I'm a shoulder guy. I'm a shoulder guy. I love a leg, sure. Yeah. But the shoulder's just fat here. But you know what, and I don't want to bring everyone down. Even as we say this, I've dabbled with the thought of vegetarianism or veganism. I'm not comfortable with the thought of eating these creatures, and yet, you hypocrite, you do it. Yeah. I'm not saying you him. Yeah, sure, sure, yeah. Okay. I'd love it if you would. I'm not comfortable with it, and yet, you, you do it. Well, I remember actually, when we were doing the first trip, we pulled over at the

side of a field to do something, and there were lambs, and they came up, and I remember then thinking, Rob, what are you doing? Because you don't have to give it a lot of thought before it just doesn't add up. Sure. Yeah, sure. So we're all in denial. We're all pretending. No, that's not related to that thing in the field. You know, we watched that Netflix thing about veganism, and we were vegan for about a week. Yeah, I just want to put that out there that I'm, I am ever so slightly. So for you, in our conversation, we just had the bit that tipped you over into feeling uncomfortable that was thinking about leg or shoulder, and then you feel like, oh, yeah.

They don't even change the names. Exactly. Why can't they call it the baron? The leclerc of the of the lamb, and then you don't just say, well, it was you saying leg, but did make me picture a beautiful little lamb gambling responsibly. Oh, it's too much. I was happy paying tribute to Ray Winston, and then suddenly we get Ed Cername. I mean, God, yeah, so, I don't know. But leg, leg. Yeah, I mean, they call me hypocrite, because clearly I am. Also, you said it has to be cooked by someone who knows what they're doing. Yeah. Who, if you could choose anyone who's ever cooked you a roast, and they're cooking your dream roast, who's it going to be? Who's got the goods?

Well, outside of professional chefs, my wife is a fantastic cook, and she can bake, and she's wonderful. She's all sorts of things, right? But to give her a break, because I've occasionally thought, right, come on, Nick Frost is a friend of mine, and Nick is a hell of a cook, right? And what a guy, and look at Stanley Tucci, you know, the wonderful, I'd like to be like that. I never used to want to, but I would like, I think it's a very, yeah, you're capable, you know? And I will, you know, over lockdown, I would dabble, I would start to maybe try and cook things, but I never stick with it. So, in a fantasy world, it will be me doing it, all right? That's never going to happen. We've never had anyone use the dream restaurant before

to imbue them with skills they don't currently have. I would love that. So, the dream restaurant, you would like me to give you the skills of the greatest chef in the world, and you can cook everything. Wow. It's very therapeutic, I think. It's a bit of a go back to the bath now, you see. It's very relaxing, if everything's on course. I went to one of Tom Kerridge's places the other day, and all those guys are amazing. Angela Hartnett, being to her place every time she does great stuff. Maybe I get Angela in, because she's a laugh, and that will be nice. I'd like to know who's in the roast club, because we've had a few people pick roasts. Yes, of course. On the podcast. Richard Osman picked Christmas dinner.

Picked Christmas dinner, we're just tying them. Did he? Did he? Yeah. I'm also interested about this gravy, this, well, I didn't know there was a difference between the Welsh gravy. Well, I would say, and I'm no expert, but I traditionally, yes, and my first encounter with an English gravy, it's a far more watery. Right. In its consistency than a Welsh gravy. So is Welsh gravy too thick for you, because you want it in between, right? No, I was just trying to appeal to everyone. I don't need to appeal to the soul. Well, it's your meal, not your mouth. Okay, but then I've also, I have become, as Rex Harrison once said, I've grown accustomed to the English gravy, so I don't need to go back

quite so far to the full thickness of the Welsh. The sort of toll booth, seven bridge toll booth gravy. Yeah, I've gone back to a kind of a midpoint. Yes. Because, you know, a very light English one can be nice. Sure. But given us the dream restaurant, I'm aiming high. I've got quite a fondness for like just quite cheap, you know. Bisto. Bisto gravy. Yeah. But you know why that is, don't you? No. It's because you're not very sophisticated. Takes a sip of his water as soon as he says it. Look at him. He's just sitting there like he's that dealt with. Took care of it. Done. Move on.

Don't get, James, James, you're a funny guy. Don't get me wrong. But you've got a lot of life to live. What is Puccino getting involved in this? What with Puccino? Look at you with your diet cola. Oh, what that's doing to you. See, I'm two months off that now. You're two months off the diet, Co. Yeah. How's it feel? Good. Yeah. Good. How many were you thinking a day? Well, not that many. See, we've got this little fridge in our living room that has those little

mixer cans. Yeah. So that's the cheat, isn't it? Because you feel, well, this is nothing, but you have several of them. So, no, I mean, listen, the most I'd ever have is two of those proper cans in a day. I love your drink set up at home. I'm envisioning it now. You've got crates of sparkling water being delivered and a fridge with mini kids. It's like you live in a corner shop. We got one of those open freezers or calipos. But it is writing down a lot of people here who have ordered the roast. I'm going to read them out to you in a minute and see. I'll be interested to see which company I'm keeping. Yeah. I think Lam is my top Sunday roast. So these are all the people who chose roasts.

Yeah. So Jade Adams, Sarah Millican, May Martin, Josie Long, Richard Osman, Sarah Pascoe, Roisin Conaty, Amy Hoggart and Claudia Winkleman. Very interesting. I tell you, I met the other night, Michelle Visage. She came from the Drag Race. She came on what I liked the other night and turns out she's a Virgo and I'm a Taurus. And I said, well, that's why we're getting on. And I said, because I'm not a big believer in all this, but it's worth commenting on so many of my dear, dear friends of Virgoans. I would wonder if were you to analyse the star signs of those people? Sure. I mean, again, and I would add to that, I think it's all Tosh. Yeah, well, Benito. Can you find out when all those people were born and what their star

signs are, please? Why don't you know their star signs? May Martin is the only one who chose Lam for the roast. Yeah, but the other thing you have to bear in mind, and I hope the listener will bear in mind, is that the unbearable pressure of coming on something like this, because, I don't know, I mean, I could have chosen, of course, all sorts of meals. But when I was thinking about it, this was the one. I mean, one of my greatest meals I ever had was again in Sydney, there's a great restaurant called Icebergs that looks down on Bondi. And I was on my own. It was one of the last days I was going to be there, I think. And I went there on my own, and I had a rib, salt crust rib eye steak. And I think a potato dauphin was with that. Now that,

even as I'm saying it, is making me think, why have you said a roast lunch? Change it, if you want. No, because I talked about this with Claire, and if I change it now, I should be furious. Claire will be furious with me. What was the conversation with Claire that led to it? So what am I going to say to Ed and James? When was the meal going to be, she said, well, you can't say rib eye steak again. Because, you know, I have been asked, you know what it's like, we all get asked the same questions all the time. So I mean, never as beautifully as they're being asked here, don't get me wrong. But she said, you can't, oh, come on, think, I said, would you like a roast? Like talking to an elderly relative, you like a roast, don't you? Oh, I do

like a roast, yes. Shall I say roast? Oh, like Mam used to make. Leeds, grammar, some of the boys would have a roast every Sunday. The great line he once said his father was a butcher. And he said there was a period when I was growing up when mom and dad decided they wanted to move up in society, and they began to go to cocktail parties where the height of sophistication was a sausage hoisted a loft on a stick. And he said, he said the sausage itself held no fear for dad being a butcher, he took it in his stride. Dream side dish. Salt crust rib eye steak. There's your loophole. Could I could I have a very small salt crust rib eye as a side dish? Because I think I could eat it with this. Yeah, definitely. It's just double meat, really, isn't

it? Yeah, if that's what I want to do, that's what I'll do. Or you can have a little ramekin of dauphin was. Oh, when they're done well. Yeah, just the best. Yeah, I'm going to say that as a side dish. But but if I were being sensible, I like a nice cabbage, a Savoy cabbage or a nice cabbage done properly. Yeah, you know, I might have that. Yeah. So is that what you're going for, the Savoy cabbage? Everything is so binary here. Make a decision Rob. Is that what you like in a normal restaurant? They go, what do you want? You go, God, why do you have to be so binary? You can have the cabbage and the dauphin was, I think you have both of those. Yes. Okay, forget the rib eye, right? That's for another time. Yeah. Yeah, I'm having the cabbage and the dauphin was. That's

what I'm having. Yeah. All right. Okay. Have you ever because you got two stories about Australia and how much you'd like the food there? Did you ever try and steer, you know, a series of the trip towards Australia? Would you ever throw in that into the suggestion? Well, the thing that comes back, whenever we recommend somewhere way, way away is the logistics, I'm just a dull answer, but the logistics of the distances, you know, is when you talk about would we ever do America? Well, you know, maybe you do California or something, or you do, I don't know, wherever. But it's always Michael Winterbottom who creates the show. It's his decision. Steve and I just rock up. Yeah. Also, it's like, it's pretty much the dream job, right? So to then go,

could we go to Australia? It feels like you're really pushing your luck. Yeah, it is. It is a very dream job. And even more so as time goes by, because it's, I think, three years since we did the last one, maybe four in actually filming it. And we think back to it, especially given everything that's happened and the restrictions on travel. And so me and Steve just rolling around and, you know, having a nice time and getting to work with him and watching him work and collaborate is lovely. Small crew. So it's so tight. Everything done in chronological order, that adds to the appeal of it. So the trip more or less with the odd pickup. But, you know, you start where it starts, you finish where it finishes. Yeah. Well, crew,

how many people we're talking? Not many. Let me think, no, less than 10. So are they in at the same places as you guys? No, no, they're in less expensive hotels. Do you think we're all living high off the hog? What do you think? Are they swooping in for leftovers? Is that how it works in your world? Sometimes that one lives high off the hog, yeah. No, no, no, no. But maybe a small crew, are you traveling round Grace? Here's what I'm going to say to you. Welcome to the real world. Oh, but wouldn't it be nice if everybody could live together happily? Yeah, word, wouldn't it? Hover boots would be good as well, wouldn't they? No sign of them.

No, sometimes, let me think, no, generally no. Steve and I would sometimes stay in the hotel that we were appearing to stay at in the show, but often not. We would often be somewhere else. On the trip to Greece, we seem to have, I remember we stayed at this great hotel. I loved it, right? He didn't like it. I won't name it, but it's in Athens, right? And he had a view of either the Parthenon or one of those wonderful places. There was a terrace on the roof, big terrace. We'd have your breakfast. You come up, there's a bar in the evening. And one of my favorite things in the food world is breakfast. If I'm somewhere and it's white tablecloths and linen and coffee, and a lovely croissant, I don't need loads. And maybe then some scrambled eggs and some smoked

salmon and a bit of tomato. So we stayed at this place and he described it as full of kind of aged Republicans from America with boxfresh chinos. He doesn't like boxfresh anything, right? And he would see these guys and he didn't like it. He didn't like it at all. Particularly with which you're recounting something. Well, he sees very opinionated. He has opinion on everything. And I used to love it. And we were only there for three or four. And we had to go back to do a reshoot and he wouldn't stay in this. We all ended up staying in some other lemon hotel then. And I loved this one because you could, you come in and they go, hey, very good morning. Hi, you're coming. You're coming here. You sit

down and they're really quick with the service. They get you the coffee quick and you're looking around. Everything is pristine. And I was sat with a pool, we had an afternoon off and I was sat, there was like a tiny pool on the roof and I was sat there on a sun lounger. And this American guy was sat next to me and he starts talking to me about stuff. Oh, yeah. And he started telling me this bizarre story about either how he bought a race horse or something. I was in Kentucky and a guy comes up to me says, why, what do I know about race horses? Anyway, I ended up three weeks later, my wife and I were at the stables. We got a piece of the horse and he's telling this story. And I think he said to me, wow, are you doing here? I said,

oh, we're making a, say film because it's a film around the world. We're making this. Oh, right. So the next morning I then go and I sit in this restaurant, a bit looking at the path and on, oh, it's all lovely. Isn't it marvelous? The sun. And I end up, I'm sat next to him and his wife, oh, there's the guy I was telling you about yesterday. Oh, really? He said, you're an actor. And I said, yeah, I am. Oh, it must be so hard. Meaning it must be hard to get work because they've never heard of you. They just assume you're on the poverty line. And then she said, well, now you give me your name so I can look you up. So I dispel my name for her, which is very demeaning. And I like to think that eventually she should have got, oh, he's doing

okay. You know, but it's that thing where you just have to go, well, you know, it's, yes, it's a difficult job, you know, duty can. But also you, you were in Greece making a film, so she must have realized that this is what I, what I think, but you often get taxi drivers who drop you off at home and say, oh, I couldn't do what you do. Or best of luck, my good luck. Yeah. Have you heard something? You heard about the jelly bang. What do you mean? Good luck. Yeah, I always find that as a curious thing. I mean, it's meant well, don't get me wrong, but it's slightly unsettling from my side. What do you mean good luck? Things are going okay, aren't they? Where's the best place? And I'm sure you've been asked this a lot, but all the places you were

on the trip. The Amalfi Coast. There we go. Yeah. Specifically on Capri, the Isle of Capri, not Capri, Capri. I mean, I could fill this whole podcast just telling you some of Steve's reactions to things. When you arrive on Capri, they have these taxis and what they've done, they're normal cars and a Fiat or something. And they've axle-grinded off the tops. So from the top of the door upwards is now gone. And in their place is like a parasol or a shade, right? And they just drive very slowly around the island. So we get into one of those to be driven up to this fancy hotel at the top of the island. And Steve goes, look at these cars, he goes, compromise the structural integrity. I've always remembered that. So there was a

restaurant there. It's in the last episode of the trip to Italy. And that's called Il Riccio. And it's twinned with the Capri Palace Hotel. And the day we were filming there, it was, it was perfection. It was a beautiful day. And you're on a terrace that is a top, a cliff, and they have a room of temptation, which is a chilled room full of desserts you just walk into. While we were filming and the cameras were rolling, there were real people sat in other bits of the restaurant. Gerard or Gerald Butler? Gerard Butler. I'm not pretending that I don't remember his name, like some sick power play. I genuinely wasn't sure. It was just the man called Gerald Butler. This is not a good story. Yeah, he's from, it's from Kettering.

It was, so Gerard Butler was there and he just walks into shot. I don't know if he hadn't seen anyone. And he went, hey, hey, hey, he knew Steve. Hey, how are you doing? Hey, and he said to me, hey, Jerry Butler, I go, I'm right. And he just started talking to us middle of the way we're filming. And he said, he was, what are you doing? I'm just, I'm just going up and down the coast. And he was doing this amazing thing. He was on some yacht or something. Wow, you know, and so that's the one that, I mean, there were many, many great restaurants, but that's the one that always springs to mind because, and also my wife had come out for that weekend. So she was there. Staying in the cheap hotel with the crew? Yeah, but she, you know,

she liked it. She liked it. There was an all you can eat buffet. And she said that, you know, you could go back and the crew and the thing, there's a scam going where they'd take, you know. No, no, she, she, she stayed with me in the suite. Very awkward. Because of course, you know, you were having a fair on, on, on the trip to it. That's the other funny thing about that is I've had this a few times where even in those adverts I did, you know, where I have a pretend wife, I must be thick as hell because it never occurred to me when I said, oh yeah, I'm going to do these adverts, how much money I'll do them. It never occurred to me that people would think it was my wife. Because to me it was, well, I'm playing a

bloke. And pathetically, as it went on, we actually gave the character a name, trying to shut the stable door after the horse had bolted. Because me in my stupidity, I said, all right, people keep saying is that because they would, I can see that now. The next ones you're going to have to have your character reading something with Rob Briden in the paper and he's going to have to go, I like that Rob Briden. Well, there were ideas that they were going to say, I think we called him Hugh or something, Hugh Jenkins or something. And we're going to think, oh, Mr. Jenkins, welcome aboard, it never actually happened. And the same with the trip, because in the trip to Italy, they would spend the night with the girl on, on the island, which I loved because I never get to play that

kind of thing. When we're doing the bit, there's a bit on, on the beach. And I thought I was Hugh Grant, you know, because it was sort of, sort of, you know, hey, boy meets girl thing. It was like being in a Richard Curtis film. And then when it went out on the BBC, Claire was dropping the kids off at school and the teacher come and said, put a hand on her shoulder. I said, this must be very difficult. I mean, what do they think? I mean, there's fly on the wall and there's fly on the wall. I know, unfortunately, James hasn't listened to anything you've said since you mentioned the room of temptation. Take me there immediately. I might have some photos of that on my phone, because after we did that, then it was my wife's birthday in September and I took her back out

there. But it was a little bit out of season. The weather wasn't as nice. And we were paying this time. So that took the edge off it as well. That was when I realized everybody, while we were filming, Capri is so expensive. I go, is it? This is no idea. Your dream drink, Rob? With this meal, Barolo, which again brings us back to the trip to Italy, because that's where I discovered it. We started up in that area, I think, maybe the first or second episode, because I'm no wine guy. I'm no connoisseur. I like rose as soon as it's warm enough. I love it. It makes me happy. Is that Lebanese? No, I think, no. I like Whispering Angel very much. They do it at that place that you and I had lunch the other day,

James. And they're about to start doing it again as summer spring edges on. You had a Kea Royale there, right? Oh, I wanted to mention those, yeah. You were very excited about getting Kea Royale. I love the Kea Royale. And now, for people who don't know, that is champagne with some cassis. And I will often have that. Claire and I went out for lunch two days ago in Barnes, the place. Not random outbuildings around the countryside. You sit in this bar and I'll go to you. We take a packed lunch and we just find a bar and we sit in it and it's kind of nice. No, we went for lunch in Barnes and we both had a Kea Royale and therein lies the problem, because she didn't want all of hers. So I had the rest of hers. So she would then drive home.

But then, oh dear, hang on, is Rob falling asleep? It's a bit too much. Whereas if I'd only had the one, I think I'd have been safe. So yeah, Kea Royale, I will have that again. That's Claire, who opened me up to that. No idea what it was. I like it. I wasn't drinking at that meal and managed to get you to do your Roger Moore. Did you really have to push me? Did you really have to persuade me? It wasn't difficult. You were trying to convince me to have a Kea Royale. And I did it as Roger Moore. I imagine you'd probably like it if I did it now. Yeah, who feels that? Do you know you hate those people that can do voices and you mention stuff and they don't do it? Yeah, yeah. Honestly, no, but I'm serious. I love people like Dana Carvey

and Martin Short and you hear them on a thing and they just do it because they can do it. And also, it's joyous, isn't it? Well, I don't know what I said. Just come, come, Mr Bond. Come, come, Mr Bond, you enjoy a Kea Royale just as much as I do. The sparkling combination of champagne and cassis. Yeah, that's exactly it. Yeah, perfect. Oh, I still like it. So you made Rob do that voice to convince you to have a Kea Royale and then do that one. Yeah, yeah. I said maybe if Roger Moore convinced me to have a Kea Royale. They say that Olivier, Lawrence Olivier used to have a glass of champagne every morning at 11 o'clock. Wow. So yeah, Kea Royale would be, I often have that if I'm out. But they aren't going for Kea Royale this time. You're going for Barolo.

Well, because Kea Royale is always, you know what I would do? I would probably have had, you rammed the sparkling water down my throat. I would have had the Kea Royale while I was having the oysters. Is that allowed? Oh yeah, why not? Yeah, I would have had that. So the sparkling water is just there, right? It's there. I always say we'll have a bottle of still and a bottle of sparkling. But if I could only have one, it'd be sparkling. So yes, I would have had the Kea Royale with the oysters. And then once the lamb is served, I'm on Barolo. Which is a much heartier wine. It's a lovely wine. And as I say, I have no great knowledge of wine, but Michael had chose this because we were in that region. And since then, I've sort of stuck with it. I like a shabby

with the white wines. But again, my knowledge is abysmal. We go to a particular France of part. We go to a particular France of part every year. And there's, I know I got it wrong the second time. And we, I saw the look of Jesus Christ. Good God, he didn't realise it the second time. I didn't know. It's all okay. And there's a nice winery vineyard near there. And they do lovely, they do lovely rosé. They do nice red. So that's another one that I have a vague knowledge of. But beyond that, I'm in the dark. Every time my girlfriend goes for a meal with her friend, Lauren, and they get wine, my girlfriend always manages to make Lauren laugh by doing an impression of you, doing impression of Steve Coog and saying, oh, yes, that's a lovely wine. Oh, yeah, yeah.

When you sip it. Oh, that's a very nice wine. That's it. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because that's the thing we learned on that, that when you taste the wine, you're meant to, it's just a test, it's not cooked. It's not to comment on its quality. But it goes against all your instincts, doesn't it? It goes against all your instincts. Because if somebody's come over, they've given you the thing. And that bit is free, isn't it? If you neck all of that. So you go, and you, I mean, it seems wrong not to go, oh, it's really nice. And I think, so I think Steve, I don't know whether whether this was genuine or we were just doing it. I can't remember that. But that's one of those things we're in a show like that. Oh, there's the material sees on that.

Do I have a thing? Yeah. Because you're just looking for conflict, you know, we could argue over this, you know. Well, at that point in the meal, I only think about the partridge thing of when he's having the half a bottle of blue nun in the meeting, Tony has and goes, yeah, that's fine, fill her up. Yeah. Oh, yes, yes. When he says, can I have a go to second series? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's that meeting. But the guy just starts to pour it. He's like, what are you doing? You need to pour a little bit. I'll taste it. And then you can pour the rest. And he just downs half a glass. I fill her up. Think about that every time. It's so funny when and lovely, when like you've done it several times, people say to you

that they think of things, because I think of a million things that other people have done. And it's, if I can be given a moment to reflect, it's such a nice thing. Thank you. I wasn't expecting it. See, that's quite nice. I quite like it when Steve plays that dynamic, because then he plays slightly low status for a bit, you know, because he's, yeah, he's a bit cowed. And that's quite nice because he often plays a higher status. It's quite nice when he does that. It's quite appealing. Well, you're very mean to him in that sense. You just made yourself look like an idiot. It's how you, it's how you open the, because he says, yeah, that's very nice. Thank you. You're sitting there very seriously. You just made yourself look like an idiot. He thinks you're an

idiot. See, but the thing is that was the first episode, right? That was the first scene we filmed for all the trips. And we went into that, not really knowing what it was going to, honestly, not knowing what it was going to be. We'd said no to it twice. I remember saying to Michael after the first meeting, I said, six half hours. I mean, there was some script. Don't get me wrong. If that does a disservice to Michael, I mean, good God, the whole story that what happens in it, you know, the food, the restaurants, the journey, all that stuff. But nonetheless, we're going to be sat at tables. I remember saying, I said, you probably get one strong half hour. I was wrong, obviously. So when we went off to do that, that was the first scene we shot,

which is sitting at the inn at Whitewell. Hell, is this going to be in a cock and ball story? We'd bickered, right? So okay, we can play odd couple bickering. So we do that. Yeah. And that's interesting. You say that I was quite, because as it went on, I got more and more uncomfortable with that. And it does become very weary some to constantly be looking for conflict. I think I've said recently, I'd much rather be gone fishing with Bob and Paul, where occasionally they'll do a little bit of one of their funny voices or characters. But most of the time it's just nice. And as we progressed with our various series, Michael more and more had to encourage us to poke each other with sticks. Because I think Steve and I got on better as time went by, we mellowing, getting older.

Also, it's hard, we want to get too comedy about it, but like with improv, it's best to yes and the person. That's right. Say yes to it and do it. So if you're having it improvised, disagreeing with each other all the time and blocking each other's ideas, it is hard because you're constantly having to think of another idea instead in a different direction to go, because you're both not, you're not both going, let's run in this direction. And there is the, you know, I have to admit, there is the aspect of it that we were playing versions of ourselves. So I could point to many things like, well, that's nothing like I would never say that, but there are plenty where I say, well, that was basically me. And you can touch a nerve, you know,

you can see, you've got to be a bit, you know, so sometimes you go, oh, bloody hell, did he mean that? And that's what gives it its bite. But that becomes a bit, you say, oh, I could live without it. Also, there's got to be a reason that you're actually sat there together in all these things, right? You've got to have some sort of understanding amongst each other that the characters have to get on a bit. Yeah, yeah. Otherwise, why would you go back for another one? I think that was one of the real things of the show, which is that as we progressed and we were getting older, you do, you know, you rage against the dying of the light and you enjoy company of friends and the greatest compliment I pay to a friend now at my age, 56, is you're looking well.

And what's just lovely is you want to hear, you know, because you're moving into that period now where things start to go wrong, you know, I mean, very early stages, but you are, you know, illnesses, all these things. So yeah, it was a very interesting thing. Why was that compliment earlier when you said that Ed was a threat and I wasn't to your way? I was the opposite. But you're not at that age yet. You don't want, you don't need to. Are we going into the room of temptation for your dessert? I think we should. Yeah, I think we should. Do you know what? I haven't asked any specific questions about the room of temptation because

in my head, it's perfect. There's it, there's kind of ceramic surfaces. It's chilled. There are different desserts laid out on a central island and then other desserts in shelving around the room. And you go back out into the warmth of the Capri sun, although we're under a shade, of course. We're not going to skip over that, Rob. I'm sorry. What do you go back out into the warmth of? Oh, I didn't notice that. I thought it was a fancy restaurant. And it's warm Capri sun as well. Like warm Rowena. I've got to scare it yourself with the straw. Obviously, earlier, when you were talking about Capri, I wanted to make a Capri sun trip. I'm so glad I left it. This is a generational thing because when did Capri sun come into being?

Come into prominence. I remember it ever not being. Yeah, it's always been. Always has it. It's never been part of my life, although I think it's in Gavin and Stacey. I think there's a reference to it. I think necessarily I'll have a Capri sun. I think so, maybe. Sounds about right. Maybe. But Capri sun has never been a part of my world to the extent that I was able to say the warmth of the Capri sun. And it meant nothing to me. I can't imagine you even holding a Capri sun, like drinking one. I would feel demeaned by it. Fruitshoot. I can imagine you with a Fruitshoot. I can imagine you with a Fruitshoot. But I can imagine if I saw you holding a Fruitshoot, I think it was funny, but I wouldn't think

what is going on. If I saw you holding a Capri sun, I'd be like, this is bananas. I could stretch to an umbongo. Do you think in Capri, they're aware of the Capri sun and they're annoyed about its association? No, I wouldn't have thought that they're too worried about it. Well, similar with the Congo umbongo, I guess. Yeah, I don't know how they feel in the Congo about the umbongo. So we would go into that room and I find it very hard to choose a pudding. And I've eventually settled for just follow my heart. And it's some sort of chocolate, maybe a chocolate bomb with vanilla ice cream, or maybe salted caramel ice cream. Let's make it a little bit interesting. You don't seem like very excited about it.

I am excited about it, but I'm disappointed in myself that I can't think of something. And I'd probably sprinkle a Cadbury's flake or add crumbly. The same way that Tom Jones did to his lemon, I would get a Cadbury's flake that has been chilled. Yeah. And then I go. Would everyone in the restaurant get pregnant? Not from me, no. No, I'm afraid not. Do I fuck them, maybe? I know my place. It'd be walking home. I think, yeah, Gerard might go, well, what was going on there with that wee guy? Another lovely dessert, of course, is summer berries with ice cream. Yeah. Lovely. I'd kind of go ice cream every time if I had to choose. Cheesecake can be delicious. Yeah. It's very

hard in your binary world to come down one side or the other. Yeah. In tribute to Winston, you could go to the Room of Temptation with a shopping trolley and just start sweeping. In honour of Dale. Sweeping the Room of Temptation. I've got a video of that, of when we were filming that, just remember. And you, I think, you glimpse the Room of Temptation. I'd find it too tempting. All you'd need is a glimpse, though, as well. You almost don't want to see the rest of it, do you? Yeah. I mean, if I went there, and like you, I got to go into the Room of Temptation, I think they would find very quickly just what my threshold is, Temptation-wise. James, let me, let me question your choice of words there. Okay. You said, if I go there,

as Yoda would say, I'm not going to do the voice. I'm better than that. Well, there is no if. What is this if? Yeah. What is stopping James Acaster from going to Capri, staying at the Capri Palace Hotel, booking himself a fine and dandy table? Well, maybe I'll do it. I'll do it. I mean, you know, if you stopped doing the trip now, me and Ed could, next generation. Yeah. Right? We've, we've kind of, we've kind of positioned ourselves, haven't we, really? Yeah, that's what this is all about. Yeah. This is all about. We're tearing ourselves up for the trip, the next generation. By 2022, Cougan and Brydon were too infirm to continue with the series. Enter Gamble and Acaster, appealing to a whole new, young, vibrant audience. All memories of Brydon and Cougan's sorry efforts.

We'll soon cast aside. But the thing is, it's not going to be a great show because we just want to go to the same places you've been. Yeah. It's not going to be, it's not going to go to the same places. What if you, you went to the same places and you got, you got transcripts and you reenacted the trip? That's an interesting idea. That's a good idea for a show. You just do it word for word. But it'll just be Ed making me do Shrek impressions at every single restaurant. No, no, no, Shrek. You've got to do the ones that we did. Yeah. I cut it, the ones that you did. I know, but that's one of the reasons it would be funny. What do you got? And what I really like is, and I believe, I think this is correct, but without questioning it, we've established that you're Rob. Yeah.

Most people want to be Steve. Whenever I look on people want to be Steve, he's got more of a kind of sexy thing going on. But I'm happy, James, that you would be me. He's doing Mick Jagger now. It just sounds like James is upset. Rob, you're also going to need to be on this to tell me what James is doing. Yeah, yeah. That was like so clearly. Did he actually come to your house once, Mick Jagger? No, no, no. I was at a party and he was there and I chatted to him a bit and he was, he was stunning. I mean, my God, the energy. Remember that film, Cocoon, you know, where the old people are suddenly,

it was like that. I mean, he radiated, honestly, I'm not exactly, he radiated energy and life. And then as we were leaving, I heard this voice, Rob, Rob. And I looked, I looked up and he was on the landing and I thought, Craig, Mick Jagger is calling to me. And he went, he went, don't throw those spears at me. And I thought, and I didn't know what he meant. I thought, what? And I looked at my wife and this is bizarre. I said, what? He went, don't throw those bloody spears at me. And what he was doing, he was doing Michael Cain in Zulu because he loved the trip. He told me he loved the trip. So I realized, so I turned back to him and I went, I've told you before, if you're not going to sing, I don't want to know. Get back in the other bloody room.

And he went, ha! And he kind of ran off. Yeah. And it was, and then we left the house and we stood on the pavement outside and just went, wow, did that just happen? What a life. Because I think even more to my age than your age, Jagger means more to me. I mean, you're aware, but to someone of my age, Mick Jagger is this one of the sort of pillars of popular culture for the long as I can remember, you know? So it was just mind bending. It's the same for us when we had Ainsley. Yeah, that would be a similar sort of thing. He's our Jagger. Yeah, yeah, he's our Jagger in salt with us. I was going to read this back to you now. See how you feel about it. Okay. Water, glass bottle of San Pellegrino, popcorns or bread, sourdough bread with salted butter,

starter, six oysters, vinaigrette and shallots with a Kira Royale, Maine, roast leg of lamb, Welsh lamb, gravy, parsnips, carrot and swede mash, roast potatoes, Yorkshire puddings, cooked by Angela Hartnett. Yeah. Side dish, Savoy cabbage and Dauphinoise potatoes, drink, Barola wine, dessert, chocolate bomb with salted caramel ice cream and a crumbled flake over the top. That's the only thing I'm going to question. Let's not say a chocolate bomb. Let's say a chocolate. No, let's say chocolate bomb. Let's say chocolate bomb. You sure? You sure? You can change it. You saw that time. He doesn't need a chocolate bomb. Retro. I think retro. Not if he's done really well. Your mouth likes it. Yeah, all right.

Oh, Ed. He don't blame me. It's 2022, Ed. The amount of terms I've heard that phrase said like that. Oh, Ed. Rob, thank you very much for coming to the Dream Restaurant. Thank you, Rob. Thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed it. Thank you. Well, there we are. What a wonderful chat with Rob Bryden. Yeah, what a wonderful chat. We got him to do all the voices we wanted him to do. We got all the stories of all the projects that he's been on. What a dream. Yeah, absolutely perfect. And a nice menu as well, I thought. Very tasty menu. When we read it back, he didn't seem happy about

the dessert bar. I've never seen anyone hate themselves more for their dessert choice. Yeah. He was angry about it. He was pretty angry, but you know, it's not like he chose a pizza hut buffet or something like that. People choosing pretty awful stuff. Yeah, exactly. Don't be ashamed of the chocolate bomb, Rob. Yeah, never. Do listen to Rob's podcast, Bryden And. Yeah, and the And is always a different person. Yeah, I haven't forgotten the second half of it. Yeah, so it's not, I don't think that Ed's gone mad. No, no, no. I've not gone mad. It's, it's the name of the person. Yes, there's a person that's always like a surname again after. Yes, yes, yes. So do go and listen to that. Yeah. It's a Spotify exclusive. Fair enough.

And also, hey, all those shows that we mentioned during the pod, if you haven't watched them watch them. Oh my goodness. If you haven't watched Human Remains, I'm sure you can, hopefully, track down the DVD of it somewhere. It's perfect stuff. I mean, the listener can probably guess by how quiet I was during the Human Remains chat that I have not got round to watching it yet, which is criminal. I love Rob. I love Julia Davis. So I'm going to catch up there. And of Marion and Jeff, of course. Marion and Jeff, Gavin and Stacy, the trip, would I lie to you? I mean, that man has got national treasure secured, locked, locked down. Locked down. And he didn't say jelly deals. So that, that means national treasure is secured.

I mean, yeah, because that could have been an episode of Gavin and Stacy, you know. Yeah. They visit, you know, his family. Maybe they try some jelly deals. Maybe Rob gets a taste for it. Maybe he mentions it on the pod. Yeah. That's it. Career over. But thank you very much for coming on, Rob. I, myself, am on tour. Yes. EdGamble.co.uk for details. The show's called Electric. Going all over the place. And also you can pre-order my book. James A. has his guide to quick social media. Being the best you can be and killing yourself of loneliness. Volume one, wherever you get your books. Getting used to saying that, aren't you? I'm really getting used to it now, which is good, because, you know, probably have to say it a lot more. Yeah. But now you're

so used to it, you're saying it so quickly that no one could possibly understand what it is. Understand it. So that will work against me. Lovely. Sorry to make you do Shrek again. Well, you know, as soon as we start talking about impressions, the good thing about that one is that you're blindsided me. I didn't see it coming at all. Normally, I go, uh-oh. And I kind of feel a bit of Shrek in the air. And this time, we were talking about impressions. And I thought, yeah, we just have a talk to Rob Bryant about impressions. I can't wait to hear Rob do an impression. And then it was like, uh-oh. Uh-oh. I've got to do Shrek. I'm up now. I'm up. To the master. The master. Thanks very much for listening. We will see you again next week. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Hello, it's me, Amy Glendale. You might remember me from the best ever episode of Off Menu, where I spoke to my mum and asked her about seaweed on mashed potato. And our relationship's never been the same since. And I am joined by me, Ian Smith. I would probably go bread. I'm not going to spoil it in case. Get him on, James and Ed. But we're here sneaking in to your podcast experience to tell you about a new podcast that we're doing. It's called Northern News. It's about all the news stories that we've missed out from the North because, look, we're two Northerners. Sure. But we've been living in London for a long time. The new stories are funny. Quite a lot of them crimes. It's all kicking off. And that's a new podcast called Northern News.

We'd love you to listen to. Maybe we'll get my mum on. Get Glendale's mum on every episode. That's Northern News. When's it out, Ian? It's already out now, Amy. Is it? Yeah. Get listening. There's probably a backlog. You've left it so late.