Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 169: Ania Magliano

Episode Date: November 2, 2022

Rising comedy star Ania Magliano picks her dream menu, and a new caterpillar-based game in this week’s sugar-filled episode. See Ania Magliano’s show ‘Absolutely No Worries If Not’ at London��s Leicester Square Theatre on Fri 11 Nov. And look our for further dates on Ania's website. Follow Ania on Twitter @AniaMags and Instagram @AniaMagliano Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, listeners of the Off Menu podcast. It is Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu podcast. I have a very exciting announcement. I have written my first ever book. I am absolutely over the moon to announce this. I'm very, very proud of it. Of course, what else could I write a book about? But food. My book is all about food. My life in food. How greedy I am. What a greedy little boy I was. What a greedy adult I am. I think it's very funny. I'm very proud of it. The book is called Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy. And it's coming out this October, but it is available to pre-order now, wherever you pre-order books from. And if you like my signature, I've done some signed copies,

which are exclusively available from Waterstones. But go and pre-order your copy of Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy, now. Please? Welcome to the Off Menu podcast, taking the yoke of bad times from the whites of good fun, taking those good fun whites, whipping them up until they're super fluffy, adding in the sugar of conversation, and then baking it in the oven until the perfect podcast meringue is formed. Hello, James. Hello, Ed Campbell. This is the Off Menu podcast. We own a dream restaurant, and we invite a guest in every single week and ask him their favorite ever. Start at main course, dessert,

side dish, and drink. And this week, our guest is... Anya Magliano. Anya Magliano. Anya Magliano, wonderful comedian. Just did her debut, Adam Refringe Hour, and smashed the Fringe to pieces. Oh, yes. I wasn't even at the Fringe this year, but I heard the buzz from London. Oh, the buzz. A lot of people talking about Anya's show. I can sleep because of the buzz. Yeah, yeah. Oh, it's buzzing, buzzing, buzzing. Keep this all awake at night. All those old comedians. Oh, there's a young and doing well. That's all the buzz from Anya's show. Oh, I can keep it down. I won't say the show. It was absolutely fantastic. Anya is doing the show, I think for like one last time, maybe, doing a big

show at the Leicester Square Theatre on Friday, the 11th of November. I think they'd be a very special gig. You should get yourself down to it. It's at the Leicester Square Theatre. It's at the Leicester Square Theatre website for more details on that. But enough plugging. We'll do more plugging afterwards, James. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we want to talk to Anya about food. Yes. But as ever, there will be a secret ingredient that if she mentions, she will be kicked out of the restaurant. And this week, the secret ingredient is pink wafers. Now, this is kind of based on maybe we're playing dirty here, but like, you know, Anya supported you on tour. Yeah. You know that she has a sweet tooth. Yes. We've gone

for something sweet. Sweet. It was also suggested by Lloyd Bushel on Twitter. Lloyd Bushel hates pink wafers. Everyone knows this about Lloyd Bushel. We all say it. We all know it. Yeah. Every time pink wafers come up in conversation, I say, Lloyd Bushel hates pink wafers. Yeah. Every time. So we talk about pink wafers, I go, of course, of course I would. I'm not Lloyd Bushel. That's how I always respond. I don't, pink wafers are one of those foods that I can very much take or leave. And I think bring nothing to anything. Yeah, sure. I would like to see it get the gourmet treatment, the pink wafer. Yeah. And see if someone can make a really nice version of one where you go, actually, that's delicious. And they've

done a really nice, fancy pink wafer. I know what you mean, but also I think a pink wafer is annoying because it's so light that it is just nothing. Yeah. So gourmet version would also have to be that light and it would make it also pointless, I think. Well, if it could be less compacted. Yeah. The ones that we buy from shops are just compacted nothingness. Yeah. That is. We shouldn't be possible. Philosophically, it shouldn't be possible, should it? Oh, yeah. Old Socrates over here. Yeah. It's nothing and also so compact. Yeah. It's a compact nothing that's, I think fair to say, the reason why it's pink is to try and make it look like something. I think that's more than fair. Even the people

who make pink wafers are sat there listening to this going, he's got us. Yeah. If we'd made them gray, we wouldn't have sold as many. Or white, even if they were like the actual color that they probably would be. Vanilla white. But it's like over in America when they have vanilla wafers, that they're quite delicious. Yeah. I know you like it. Nilla wafers. Nilla wafers. That they put in banana pudding. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're great. James has got four thoughts and that's one of them. Banana pudding. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That banana pudding you had. Yeah. I think about that. Banana pudding I had every four thoughts. Yeah. And sometimes it makes sense of what we're talking about. Big get lucky. That's

when it makes the edit. Sometimes it doesn't make sense at all. No. Got to cut it out. So if Anja says pink wafers, she will be out of the dream best shot. I'm on tour for a couple more weeks. Oh, yeah. Go and see if I've got any tickets available for anything. And I've narrated James the Giant Peach Audio Book. Right. What? Something I did. You know, in the plug bit might as well mention it. Yeah, you absolutely should. I've narrated the James the Giant Peach Audio Book and the Skrull Knuckin Audio Book. Right. Brilliant. Yeah. Yeah. Potter and Dial. Yes. Thank you. Yeah. Respectively. Was that on the same day? No. Different days. Yeah. Coincidentally, the same producer, the same tech guy. So

I got to see Chris both times. Yeah. Nice to see him. I really had to throw myself into the voices that I did for like, oh, it's basically my voice, but... So you didn't throw yourself into the voices? No, but I had to, into the performance. Right. My name is Skrull Knuckin. You know, like that. Oh, all right. I'm immediately... I'm Skrull Knuckin. I mean, he's unloading that. If you're screaming, I'm Skrull Knuckin. I'm James. I'm the James and the Giant Peach. Yeah. Dara O'Brain, friend of the show. You did him in one of them, did you? No. But he... I'm James and the Giant Peach. I'm the Giant Peach. It's quite good, actually. But he bought the Bitches Potter series for his son. He likes it. I didn't know who narrated

all of them and said that he'll often like curl up with his son, just hold his son in his arms and put on a bitch. And then suddenly it was me and he was like, what the... It wasn't the nicest surprise he's ever had. I'll definitely get James and the Giant Peach. I can't wait for that. So yeah, get those audiobooks. That's the future now for me. Audio books. Reading other people's audiobooks. Yeah, that's what I'm going to become. Reading other people's audiobooks. Yeah, yeah. So you hear... On your recording, you hear a line from someone else's audiobook, then you copy it. So it's twice as long, basically. Yeah. So I'm currently doing the Harry Potter series, Listen to Stephen Fry. Yeah. So it's a long, it's a slog, but

it's going to be great. But when it's finished, it's going to be more Mona Lisa. Yeah. I'm definitely getting that. But that's not what this is about. We are about to hear the off menu menu of Anya Magliano. Anya Magliano. Welcome Anya to the dream restaurant. Thank you. Welcome Anya Magliano to the dream restaurant. We've been expecting you for some time. Thank you for having me. Yeah. It's quite an obnoxious little genie so far. But you're funny though. Yeah. Yeah. Put everybody to be a bit obnoxious from time to time. You're proud of yourself because you've got Magliano, right? You were very worried about that before we started recording. Listen, we've got a full day of names that I can't say. Yeah. It's a big name

that I mean, we'll leave the listener to guess. Yeah, yeah. Who else were interviewed today? Yeah. What a day for the genie. Yeah. It's my surname, I think confuses people because it's got a few vowels that are close together. But it is actually how you say it written down. I think it's pretty self-explanatory when you read Magliano. That's what it is. Yeah. Magliano, I guess some people might say. Maliano. That's how the Italian say it. If I'd done that, how long would this episode have lasted? Four days. Yeah. I think that is how it's meant to be said. I am a tough Italian. Yeah. There's Polish in your family. Polish. Italian. Derby. The cornerstones of Europe. Damn Derby, man. My sister used to

live in Derby. Really? Yeah. There was a man called Boston who had sat on the wall outside of her house. A man called Boston? Yeah. Yeah. His name was Boston and he would sit on this wall. Outside her house? Yeah. It's Boston's wall. And he would sit there. In a threatening way. Yeah. It sounds quite threatening. Nice man. They liked him. It's a new little state and before people had moved in, this man was sitting on the wall. So when everyone moved in, the builders were like, yeah, that's Boston. He sits on that wall. He's a nice man. And they've talked to him. Yeah, he's a nice man. So he's let him sit on the wall. Was it his wall? Did he actually own the wall? No, no. He just would walk over to that estate to

sit on the wall. No one really knew where Boston lived. But he would just sit on the wall and chat to Milton Jones once. Wow. Yeah. Milton went round for dinner. We were on tour and Boston was there. Like Humpty Dumpty? Yeah. It's like Humpty Dumpty Boston. And when we were in the house, Milton kept on going over to the window and looking out to see if Boston was still on the wall, which he was. You took Milton for dinner at your sister's house? Yes. That's nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's pretty nice of me. I've never been taken to dinner at your sister's house. Well, I was, you know, I was Milton's tour support. So I guess, you know, tour supports, if you're a good tour support, you would probably

invite the person who was taking on tour for dinner at your sister's house. What the fuck, No, my parents are obsessed with you coming back to have a glass of wine at their house after the wedding date. Right. Then we're doing that. Yeah. And I said no. I said no on your behalf. Yeah, we probably do need to get back. But as long as I know the invite's there, the invite's there, you can decline it hard and fast. I don't know. That sounds pretty tempting. Yeah. Now, Annie has supported me a few times on tour. And I'm just going to say at the top, I think you two are going to get on very well towards the end of this meal when the choices start coming in towards the end.

I think that as well. Yeah. We had a day in Aberystwyth recently, where I only knew Annie was coming on the podcast. Yeah. And everything I knew, I was like, well, I'm okay here. Yeah, I had a terrible headache that day. Absolutely awful. This is news to me, Annie, because you told me you were going to give up sugar. Yeah. I didn't say when. Yeah. Okay. Well, she, she, uh, patiently. That's hilarious. Basically, so Annie was like a wasp all day along. It was like, mad. I feel like I'm in like a horrible detective series where you've like triangulated my alibi. Yeah. Yeah. I was a bit waspish that day. But I think, I think it was like a team effort because Helen Bow was there and she, she wasn't holding back

either. Sure. I don't think if any of us has said, Oh, I'm trying to give up sugar at the minute. I think that would have antagonized her. Talk me through it. What, what did you, what did you have? I think it was a quadruple layer chocolate cake. It was a quadruple layer chocolate. And it had chunks in it, but I didn't get a chunk as Helen ate a chunk. Yeah. There were chocolate chunks within the chocolate cream. Yeah. Then that was enough for me. But then Helen went and ordered a waffle and Belgian waffle with ice cream, Belgian waffle with ice cream. And I want to say another type of cake like a salted caramel cake. Exactly that. Salted caramel cake with ice cream also. Yeah. And then the waiter came out and said,

we were going to get worms. Yes. What? What? Yes. Yeah. What did she say? Don't eat this, it'll give you worms. She said, don't eat this. She went, she just went very plainly, you're going to get worms. Because initially when you said the waiter came out and said, you're going to get worms, I thought you'd eaten so much that they were like, have some free wiggly worms. That would have been awesome. Yeah. We were going to get worms in our anus. Is that something you can get? She didn't specify it. She said, from that much sugar, she made all the sugar in this, you're all going to get worms. And we were like, not very good customer service. And like, probably she probably got fired after that.

It was as she was laying the plates down. It was like, you're going to get worms. Bon appetit. So I've got a few questions. One, can sugar do that? No. I don't think so. No. We did Google it straight away. I've been worm-freeing my whole life and I'm a sugar thing. Yeah, that's true. I've been riddled with them, but I think they're from other stuff. Yeah. And I don't know if you heard Anja say this very quietly, but Anja just went, she didn't specify in the anus. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. She didn't specify in the anus. She just said, you're going to get worms. Yeah. You were projecting that on time. Yeah. Well, that's what I think of when people say you're going to get worms is the butt.

I don't think it would be a matter of... The amount that you end up projecting your anus onto people. Is that acceptable? Oh, hold my hand. I was guilty as the next man. Then the other waiter came out and we said, oh, she said we were going to get worms, but that waiter, I don't think, got that we were talking about like another waiter having come and said that to us. So she was like, I'll write you a sick note. Do you want to give this place a shout out? It was like being in like an immersive play. All the narratives were bubbling away. We were filled to the brim with icing. Worms. I should point out that while, yeah, we shared all these things, sure,

but while we were sharing them and you got out of her bag, a big bag that she just went to a sweet shop and got a pick and mix. I was showing us all the pick and mix stuff as well. So that's not gloss over the fact that you also had a pick and mix in your bag. Yeah. I feel like you told me you were going to give up sugar just because you were panicking at the time, but it was because we'd gone into an M&S in a service station. And I think you talked about calling the caterpillar faces for maybe an hour and a half. Yeah, on the way there. Yeah, on the way there. Yeah. Huge fan of Colin and Caterpillar faces. Yeah, I think you might have mentioned it in our bridge with.

I've got nothing else to say. I've got nothing else to talk about. Yeah, I think, well, I think sometimes, because we were in the car so much, I think that really makes you realise what you're eating sometimes because you just have to sit with it. Whereas if you're like on the move, it's like you can be posting Colin the caterpillar through the letterbox of your mouth. That was beautiful. When you do that, when you post him in your mouth, do you have him face up so you make eye contact as he's going in or as he's going around? Have you had the faces? Well, it's just the face. I don't think I have actually, no.

Well, it's just the face. That's my main problem. I'm not buying a whole cake. I'm not insane. When they started selling the individual faces, that must have been the best day of your life. Yeah, lost my mind. They should start selling the feet as well, I think, because they're all the same ingredient, aren't they? Yeah, chocolate. And I eat it a bit at a time. Eyes, eyes, rest the face. Oh, so you eat the eyes first so he doesn't have to see the rest of what's going on. I give him some dignity. Yeah, please. Yeah, eat his eyes first. Give the guy some dignity. Yeah, yeah. Colin. With all the Mickey Mouse shaped things,

Disney World people, ears first is the tradition. Is it? Yeah, you have to go ears first and then. Do they make you do that? Okay, yes. Gun to the head. Don't even think about eating that chin. Just the Disney police running after you, if you eat the face first. Disney cops. I wonder if it's like psychological how you eat a face. Yes. Maybe it's like evolution. Okay, go on. You know, sometimes if you say something, we're going to require you to follow it up.

No, I'd like to move on, please. Sparkling water. It's evolution. When people eat a face, what do you think it says something about them? Well, where they start. It's interesting. Yeah, in Mickey Mouse, they're eating the eyes and in Colin, you're eating the eyes. Oh, the ears. Oh, the ears. I've got my theories falling apart. Because it tends to be a faceless Mickey. So like, it might be like a donor, a beignet that is shaped like Mickey Mouse, but it's no eyes and stuff. It's just the silhouette. The silhouette.

You know what it is. Right, yeah, okay. And people got ears first. I think my theory is starting to fall apart. Well, it still might be a, I mean, you might still have something with the, what it says about a person. Yeah. Maybe, but maybe when we used to hunt big mice. Yes. Then we'd eat the ears first, so they didn't have to listen to us eating the rest of their faces. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'd say. Mm. Mm, big mouse.

How would you feel if you were about to bite into the conic caterpillar and it went, please no. Like that, really? Like suddenly was a, like, I think I'd be terrified if that happens. Correct answer. And I'd carry on. Yeah, I think I'd carry on, you know. You carry on? Yeah. Because it's faces or if it's a separate face, it's already off the body. Like someone's already done some horrible experiment on it. So if anything, I'm putting it out of its misery.

Okay, good guy. Don't you think? Yeah, maybe. I guess to avoid that, I might always eat the mouth first from now on. So that I never have to. Yeah, I never have to deal with that. Silence, Colin's voice. Yeah, we'll get rid of Colin. Would you eat a Colin the Caterpillar cake that's three Colin the Caterpillar cakes pushed together like a human centipede? Big time. I'd make it. I'm the scientist who's doing that, working away in my lab. If anyone wants to, wants to do a photo shop of a scene from the human centipede with

Anya as a scientist and the human centipede itself, three Colin the Caterpillar cakes pushed together, legs and legs, please. Shit in chocolate into each other's mouths. Yes. That'd be lovely. Yeah. Yeah, like a little ganache. They all love it. Then all that going, I actually love this. Thank you. I'm at the end. I've stitched myself onto the laugh butthole. The only scientist who would do that.

Yeah, I mean, Richard Haring on his podcast regularly asks people, if you're any human centipede, who would you want? If you're in the middle, who do you want to be in front and who do you want behind? Colin the Caterpillar in front. Colin the Caterpillar in front. Yeah. I mean, behind, I don't know, someone else who likes chocolate. Then it'd be chocolate and shit. Yeah. You're a human.

Yeah. Thank you so much. But you wouldn't want to Colin the Caterpillar behind, would you? No. No, because then what you're doing, you're shitting into a Colin the Caterpillar, you're ruining a perfectly good cake. Oh, one Colin the Caterpillar cake, please. Okay, just to warn you, this is reduced because this has been at the back of a human centipede. So it's going to look very similar.

But as soon as you breach that shell, oh boy. Maybe that's what the ones that are just the face are. They're the ones who were in human centipede. So they're like, we're in all good conscience. We can have you sell the face. It's not enough. Anya, you're doing a tour date at the Leicester Square Theatre, which is very exciting. Yes, I am.

It's a beautiful room. You're going to have a lovely time. The show is excellent. Thank you. I have seen it in Edinburgh. You've just done a sold out run at the Soho Theatre. Yeah. You came on the most chaotic date in Edinburgh, I will say. It was very chaotic.

I went to an extra late night show. Yeah. 11pm. And it's lovely watching a comic who normally did a 4 o'clock. 4.35. 4.35 show, doing an 11pm show. It's a fantastic show. Everyone loved it. But there was some interesting audience members, I'd say.

Yeah, I can't even, I think I've like retrospectively blacked it out. It was quite, there was a lot. I just remember something was happening in the front row that I was like, I don't know what's going on here. Everyone in the front row was doing something interesting. So there were a lot of couples in. And they were doing that thing, which is a lovely compliment, but is very annoying where every time you did a joke,

they'd talk to each other about how much they related to that joke. Okay, yeah. Yeah, they can't hold it. But I was still doing the show. That was the problem. I'd be sort of doing my show. They'd be chatting. Yeah.

Yeah. Also, was that the one where the woman argued with me about the app? Where she was like, she thought I was saying, I was talking about, I had like one joke about dating apps. And I was trying to explain them. And she got really angry at me because she was like, just because I'm old doesn't mean I don't know what they are. And I was like, okay, sorry.

And then it turns out she thought I was just talking about all apps. She was like, I've got apps. Also, were you explaining it directly to her or to the room and she just took it? To the room. But I think like sometimes if I sometimes during that bit, I look at the old people to make them feel bad. You've got to.

You've got to sometimes. Still or sparkling water? Sparkling, please. Why? Um, I don't know. I, do you know what? I was thinking about it and I was like, I think sparkling, I associate it with fun,

but I really specifically am thinking of, have you ever been to Yo Sushi? Sure. Oh yeah. And I think, I think I know what you're going to say. And I'm completely on board with this. Go for it. They have the little, everyone gets their own individual taps

and you get still or sparkling. And I think they're the same price, but you have to pay to use the water at all. But because they're there and then if you press the little button on it and it goes out of the, there's a tap. It's a tap is what I'm explaining. But seeing sparkling water come out of a tap is like, just I think blew my mind when I went there.

And so I want sparkling because of that. From a Yo Sushi tap? From a Yo Sushi tap. So I've not used the Yo Sushi sparkling water tap before. What is different about it when it comes out? Is it the fact that it goes into the glass and you can't believe they're sparkling water in the glass? Or does it look different as it's coming out of the tap itself?

I think it looks different. And it's coming out with force. It's like a log flume. Yeah. Is it to describe the taps? It's two silver, like sort of almost like water fountains. Like Kwaka. Kwaka?

A bit like Kwaka, but Kwaka is a tap tap. Yes. But this is more like a, you know, one of those old school water fountains, which is like sort of silver swan neck type thing. The delicate swan neck. And you pay for the delicate swan neck, right? But you don't pay for either still or sparkling.

You just pay for use of the water. I've seen people just using the still. Oh, idiots. I would mix. Yeah, you've got to do mixing, right? Yeah, yeah. Okay, what? Well, you've got to.

In the same cup. When you get the opportunity. Obviously in the same cup. Yes. But that's okay. That's what mixing is, yeah. Fucking idiots. This is, so on Great British Menu,

one of my judges, a co-judge is Nisha Katona. Every course they'll come in and be like, do you want some more water? Do you want some more water? Do you want still or sparkling? And every time she gets a mix of still or sparkling. Why would you do that? But that's just like weird, still and bad sparkling.

It's called innovation. It's not innovation. Alan Partridge does it, which means no one should do it. That's cool. I think you've got to mix it. If you're in charge of it, that's weird asking for it. Asking for someone to do it is weird. Because then that's like, I want to ask.

If someone said, what do you want to drink? I wouldn't say, oh, half diet coke, half Fanta, please. But if I'm in charge of the drinks fountain, cause I'm mixing them all up. But that, I understand, because it's different flavours, right? So is this? No, it's not different flavours. Different textures in the mouth.

I feel like you've got together before this and agreed you're going to do this for no reason. It's just that's just sparkling water or with slightly off tasting still water. But it doesn't matter about the taste because it's so exciting. It's not exciting, innit? I've got nothing else. It's exciting.

Kerry Katona does it? No, Nisha Katona. Kerry Katona is not a judge in the breakfast menu. Apparently a wonderful woman, but is not involved in the food industry. That's what a lot of people say about me on Twitter. He's a wonderful lady, but he's not involved in the food industry.

Yeah, but I think if you've not tried it, Ed, you can't knock it. Right. But I probably have tried it. Or it's one of those things you don't need. It's probably one of those things that you don't need to try with. I know what those two things taste like separately. We have had numerous guests on this podcast say that

sparkling water is too sparkling, too fizzy. This sounds like it's the perfect solution. The middle ground. The cow is sparkling water. Yeah. Yeah. So would you do that, Yo Sushi? Would you mix them up?

Yeah. I think when you're, it's like what James said, like when you have reins of the tap, you've got to like take them to their maximum. What was interesting there is you mined the different buttons, holding the different buttons, but it does look like you're holding reins as well. Yeah.

It's a bit of both. Incredible mime artist. Perfect for a podcast. So the way you're doing that is two buttons, like you're playing like a sego, like a mega drive. What? A mega drive. I say a mega drive.

Holy hell, grandad. I say a mega drive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sonic. Sonic the hedgehog. Yeah, fair enough. Yeah, they're sort of, because there's like, yeah, it is.

I'm still trying to visualize these taps. Can you squirt the sushi as it goes past on the belt? It's not facing the belt. But I think if you pushed hard enough, if you could spin the tap around, you could do that. You could squirt the sushi. Yeah, yeah. Why would you want to squirt the sushi, James?

It's a fun game. Yeah. To kind of like, as it's going past. Give the sushi a shower. You squirt at it and see if you squirt the sushi off. And also in your sushi, it's in like a semi little bowl dish. So you could fill them all with a bowl of sparkling water. Yeah, and then someone else later on gets it.

But they've got the dome as well, remember? They've got the dome. So if anything, you could, through the top of the dome, you could fill it right up. So the sushi's all bubbling around like a little fish again. Yeah, like a little bain marie. Back to nature. That's always the one thing that's missing in sushi restaurants,

for me, is picking your sushi out of a tank before it's all floating around. Yeah, back. That'd be good, actually. Yeah, it would be good. Yeah, yeah. We should petition that. Also, when we open our own off menu restaurant, we'll do that.

Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you get little rods. You give everyone a little rod, and they have to go and catch their sushi from a big tank. Yeah, and is all the rice just sort of floating around? Oh, yeah, it's a mess. One grain at a time.

You're lucky if you get any rice, actually. I'd imagine. It starts the sushi. We get the best sushi chef in the world to make it by hand. And then we go, thank you very much. And then we just tip it all into a tank, and that's all it's k. And there's fish in there as well. Oh, yeah, there's real fish in there.

Real fish in there. They don't know what they're eating. Yeah. Get Girodreams the sushi. Do you want to get that guy to make it all? Hey, still dreaming of sushi? Welcome to your nightmare, Girod. Bam!

Thank you. Straight in the water tank again. Pop it up as well, Brad. Oh, no. Pop it up as well, Brad. Add your Magliano. Pop it up as well, Brad. OK.

Does it have to be out of those two? Oh, can I suggest something that I think is in that realm? Yes, absolutely. Peshwari Naan. That's well within the realm. It is within the realm, isn't it? And it's sweet. It's sugar.

You've picked sugar bread. Yes. If you're not on board now, you're going to hate the rest of my choices. No, I'm seriously on board. I love Peshwari Naan. It's so good. I think the first time I tried it, I was like, this can't be right. They can't have done this.

They can't have made this on purpose. It's too good. They've been into my dreams and plucked out a bread. Yeah, I like Peshwari Naan, but it has to be with something spicy for me. It has to have like a sort of spicy tomato-based thing with it. Seen the shake of the head over there? Yeah.

No, I know. I was not going to agree with me. That was a subconscious spell. I didn't really fully process doing that. I guess I've only ever had it with spicy food. I've never had it on its own. I genuinely expected you to say, I've only ever had it with a little support.

I thought the next words out your mouth were going to be chocolate spread. I've never tried that. That's what I was waiting for. I've never tried that. That's a good idea. Yeah, I think you'd like it. It's a terrible idea. But I think the thing with the Naan that's really nice about it

is that it has like a similar property to what you get in an almond croissant, which is like the spread is spread out at different thicknesses throughout it. So then at some points you're like, oh, this is shit. I've just got bread. And then at some points you're like, I've got non-stop coconut vibes. Yes, non-stop coconut vibes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm screaming at that point. You're in a really, I imagine you're in a really quiet Indian restaurant. Like, you know, when you go in and there's literally, there's no one else in there, but it just, it's immaculate, ready to go. And you sit down and they bring the pressure on you at the top of your voice. Non-stop coconut vibes. Don't just just bread.

Just got raisins in it as well, doesn't it? Sometimes I've had one with raisins. I think I've had a raisin one. So do you want the raisin one? Yes, yes, bring me the raisins. Here's what I love about the Pashwari Naan, when you tear a bit off and like a huge chunk of coconut just like falls into the curry. Yeah, chaos.

Yeah. Let the chaos rain. That's something else you shout in the curry house. I'm screaming in there. A little booth in the corner. I guess you're right. It must have been invented to all like, it makes so much sense.

It would go with really spicy food, but I think anytime I've had it in a meal, I've been so excited and sidetracked by it. There was a point in lockdown where I was living with my parents and like we'd get a takeaway every week is like the structure to the week, other than jobs and stuff. And they'd have to start ordering me my own Pashwari Naan, because I wasn't sharing.

Didn't want to share. Yeah. Quite territorial. People like to think of those family lockdowns as a really sort of communal time when everyone came together. I was tearing us apart. I was tearing that Naan apart. I was tearing that family apart.

Tearing the family apart. Do your parents have sweet teeth? No. Oh, actually, no, my mum, my mum has like normal teeth. My mum has like very, she grew up in Poland, so like she has very like Polish taste, which I think is quite like savory heavy. It's quite heavy on like meat and like potato.

But my dad has major sweet tooth, and I think he's maybe the reason that I'm like this, because he will, he's, he would be encouraging me to mix a still and sparkling water. He's that sort of like vibe. And quite often, like one time he, he just decided that we should try and make a trifle, but instead of jam, we should use peanut butter.

I don't even know. Jam was in a trifle. Is it, is it jam? Oh, you know, like the fruit selection, the fruit selection at the bottom. It's actually jelly. The fruit. Yeah.

The jelly. But sometimes it has fruit in it. You use peanut butter? Oh, no. How thick was this layer of peanut butter? Just, my dad is not a chef. Hmm, okay. He works in marketing.

This place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He wanted like a full trifle layer of peanut butter. Yeah. Sort of like, like if a trifle met a Reese's Cup. Yes. So talk us through what was in the layers of the trifle. We'll try and work out what's been replaced.

Yeah. I think it was cream on top. I remember being in the kitchen and being, I think there was custard. I think, could it have been chocolate custard maybe? Okay. Even. Yeah, yeah.

And then there was definitely peanut butter hanging around at the bottom. And was there cake, did you have the cake layer? Yes, there was cake layer. Cake, peanut butter, custard, cream, and no jelly or fruit based. No, nothing, nothing to sort of break the textures down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. See, I'll be tempted really to have the jelly

and see if you can get like PB and J. So that would be quite nice. Yeah, that's so true. But I think, I think often in the war for peanut butter flavors, you either go chocolate or you go jam. And we'd gone down the chocolate route. So we couldn't backtrack. The ugly peanut butter trifle.

Chocolate peanut butter trifle. Yeah, it was absolutely awful. But he likes, he has very specific tastes. Like he quite often will have like a block of marzipan. Yeah. Such a specific taste. My father has a very specific palette. He's what you might call a connoisseur.

He has a block of marzipan the other day. After making a chocolate peanut butter trifle. Well, I didn't know you were James's half-sister, but he's lovely too. Yeah, yeah. It sounds like, I mean, it sounds like both our lives, it comes from our parents and from our dads. Specifically from the dads.

From the dads who are like these crazed mad scientists who want to make as much dessert as possible. Yeah. Did your dad keep it a secret growing up? And then, because like with my dad growing up, he didn't let on that he was a sweet tooth. He kept it all secret from us because he was like, it's like you kids don't need too much sweets,

don't need too much of the puddings and stuff that we got out of the house. And really he was wolf in them, but we didn't know that. And then becoming an adult now, it's like, oh yeah, he's fully, I went home this weekend, gave them their presents from Disney World, because if you can't tell, that's where I've been. Yeah.

And gave him a bunch of- All of the years have been enough. Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, sorry dad. We got kind of a sister on the plane. You understand. Gave him three bags of sour sweets. My girlfriend and I went out for the day,

came home at the end of the day. I said, have you eaten the sweets? And he went, and just stuck his tongue out, is bribery. What a mate. I don't know. I don't know if my dad kept it a secret. My parents are divorced, so I wasn't living with him.

But it was definitely like, he was open about it, but I think he'd frame it as like a sort of a challenge or like an adventure rather than like a sugar addiction. Like, I remember once we went for his birthday to like a fancy restaurant, like a tasting menu situation. And at the end with the bill, they were like, oh, here's a big, it was like a big tray of chocolates. And they were like, you can have a chocolate.

And my dad said, I'll have one of each. And they were like, ha ha ha. And he was like, one of each please. Because it was so fancy, they like have to do what you say. So he had one of each chocolate. Lighted. Yeah, yeah. Nothing but respect.

Yeah, of course, of course. Your dream starter. Now that I have to say it to your face, I'm not sure. Right, brilliant. But I wanted to call in the caterpillar. Yes. But I thought it could be my birthday as well. Yeah.

Well, you don't need to justify it like that, Anja. You know, I still think that's insane for a starter, but whether it's your birthday or not. It's a great starter. You're a starter boy. Great starter. You're one of the worst starters ever. You love starter.

I don't say that. This is hot. This is hot off the back of a Pechwari naan. Yes. Oh, no, I don't want to remember the previous score. Oh, right. So part of the genie wishes in this situation is he's men in blacking you every single time.

Yeah, it's not going to be over the head with me. Do you want men in black or do you want it to be like memento? What do you want? I haven't seen either of those films. So I'll pick my men in black. You don't see men in black. I pretty similar to them. I don't think so.

They're not similar films. Yeah, they're pretty similar. They both start with M. Yep. Yeah. Number one. But I start with M. And then there's M.E.

Yeah. Yeah. M.E. So the plot thickens. No, no, it's not. It's not all. It's not called menmento. Menmento a little bit, but they also

there's a lot of forgetting in both films. There is a lot of forgetting. Both about memory. Yeah, they are both about memory in a way. I mean, men in black is mainly about aliens, I'd say, but. I can't remember. I don't want aliens in my restaurant. No.

Well, there'll be no aliens, but when we say men in black, you then, because if you haven't seen the film, maybe that's a weird phrase to be thrown around. Yeah. What we mean is we've got like a pen that has a red light at the top. I mean, get your look at the red light, and then we go, and it goes, and it just erases your memory of whatever we want.

So we just say, you didn't eat Peshwari naan a minute ago. You had a savoury bread roll, and you are completely ready for some dessert. Yeah, I love it. And then you have the Colin and the Caterpillar cake. You don't feel like. It's the starter. But then we men in black hit the end of that.

Yeah, yeah, we men in black every time. That's a better, that's good technology, because I was imagining you would have to hit me over the head. That would be a very different film, if Will Smith was smacking people over the head. Oh, wow. Maybe that's what he's trying to do. Well, that's what he's trying to do.

He's trying to men in black Chris Rock. Forget it, Chris. Forget the joke that you just made about my wife. Forget I shouted out. Yeah. I'm very embarrassed about that. Make all of you forget this. Quite the opposite.

Well, we will never forget this. OK, everyone line up. Forget it. Please forget this happened. Yeah. I want him to do it to me in the restaurant. Yes, perfect. Yeah, we'll get Will Smith in.

Like he put his shades on and then he does it. So otherwise, if they, I guess if they have their shades off, they get men in black as well. Yeah. Never really explained in the film. And he's sitting opposite me. He men in black Tommy Lee Jones at the end, doesn't he? Spoiler alert.

Sorry, Anya. Yeah. Mmm. Don't worry, he comes back for one of the sequels. What the hell, guys? Sorry. Quickly. He's a men in black.

And he says he doesn't know the end of men in black. Yeah. So you want to call in the caterpillar, cake or just the face? I think I want to want the cake, but I'll have the face. Well, what do you want? I want the whole cake, but I want to eat the face. But I want it when you chop off his face and you get like a little bit of neck in there.

Want some neck? They're all neck, aren't they? Good question. Yeah. Very philosophical. Where does the neck end with a caterpillar? And what's the rest of it? Yeah.

Is it one leg? No, they've got legs, they've got legs, they've got legs. Is it one leg? How do caterpillars, they just hop around, don't they? On their whole body hops around. They wear one big shoe on their butt. They're vertical. Well, face, we know face and ass, right?

From the Colin diagram. Face. We know face and ass. We know face and ass. That's a given. I guess the rest is neck, surely. So just neck. Non-stop neck.

Yeah, non-stop neck. Colin, the caterpillar, colon, non-stop neck. Non-stop neck. It's like something like a, a perp would say. Yeah, non-stop. A neck that just won't quit. Yeah, a neck all the way down to his ass. Like a film noir.

I'll never forget the first time Colin walked in. A beautiful face and a neck all the way down to his ass. Yeah, good stuff. Someone else could write the rest of that. I mean, the film noir poster with Colin, the caterpillar's going to look great. Yeah. I can't wait.

Put Colin in a film. He works in all films. How has he not got his own film yet? Right. I've written it. With Percy Pig as well. I've been pitching it for years. Him and Percy, surely.

Percy, lovely little cameo. And the pals. Are you a fan of Percy Pig? Yes, I'm a fan of Percy Pig. Don't spoil the main course. Where would you rank the pals and stuff? Or where would you rank the Percy Pig products? I think Percy, out of the pals,

I think Percy's like leaps and bounds ahead flavour-wise. There's a reason his name's on the packet, right? Yeah. He sells. He sells. I'm sounding at the table. And then Fizzy Tales. Fantastic.

Fizzy Sweets. I like. And maybe that's why I like sparkling water. Because it reminds you of Fizzy Sweets. Yeah. The only element in the meal so far that is not linked to Sweets. Yeah. But now it is.

Now it is. Because it reminds you of Tangfastix if there was a drink. Yeah. It all comes back. I can't remember what other sort of products they have. Well, let me help you. So you've got classic Percy Pig on its own. Percy Pig and pals,

where you've got the co-the-cow and the strawberry shoot. Yeah, we're in the farmyard. Yes, I mean, oh yeah. Big time. Someone's let all the animals run in together. Fizzy Pig Tales. Then you've got Percy and his girlfriend. Can't remember what his girlfriend's name is.

She's like a lemonade one. What's that packet called? Percy and his girlfriend. Percy and Penny or something. Is it Penny Pig? Benito's looking it up. Yeah. It'll be Penny Pig, won't it?

I think so. He's looking it up on some X-rated websites. I'm quite into the Veggie Percy one. Veggie. But they're all Veggies now. Because it used to be you have to get Veggie Percy's where they had one green ear. But now all Percy Pigs are Veggie, I think.

Oh. Penny Pig, yeah, you're right. So we're talking the face and neck for your starter, which is a lovely starter. I think Ed will agree that. I mean, I'm not happy with this. First time it's happened, you're a starter boy. I'm not surprised.

You don't like it when people skip starters. I'm not surprised, but I'm not happy. Yeah. But you have skipped the starter, haven't you? No. Because you picked a bit of cake. And I had a naan. So nice.

You had a naan, yeah, full of sugar paste. But it's just like, you know, you see cheese and biscuits as an acceptable dessert. So obviously this is an acceptable starter. You sort of logically got me there, really. Yeah. I will say, I was thinking of picking a different one, which was crispy seaweed, but that is also lines of sugar.

It's quite sugar, isn't it? Yeah. But not sugary enough. But not sugary enough, no? Yeah, Colin takes the crown. So how much neck do you want? Oh, just a thin slice. Just a thin slice.

Oh, it's only the start of the meal, isn't it? It's just to get your taste buds firing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's my birthday, that's why the whole cake is lit. Right, yeah. I feel like you've added this birthday thing in an attempt to justify it to yourself. Yeah.

Whereas you definitely don't need to do that with James in the room. No, no need for justification here. Well, I take it back. It's not my birthday anymore. Right, fair enough. It's just a Monday. I'm quite good at bringing the Colin.

You bring the Colin. Yeah. She brings the Colin. That's what everyone says. Like if there's a birthday, I think one of the worst things that could happen to someone is no one brings them a cake. So I always bring a Colin.

But it's not necessarily a Colin. It could be one of the rip-off ones. Bring the Colin sounds like a sort of early Naughty's rap song. Like maybe a Black Eyed Peas song. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but or like, I don't know, but an accountant who's a rapper. Yeah.

Bring the Colin, I think. You guys better watch out, because I'm about to bring the Colin. Colin, please. Please, Colin. Now, you mentioned the rip-off Colin kind of publication then. Where do you stand on those? I think like, sometimes you aren't near an M&S.

Sure. So what else are you meant to do? Not have a cat per a cake? Yeah. Yeah. That's not what you're supposed to do against a whole day without a catapult or shape cake. Yeah, and you know, I think also,

what is it, Wiggles? Yeah, they've got different names. They've got different names. They've got different names, but they're all Colin to me. But he goes Googling it as we speak. They're all Colin to me. I just call them all Colin. It's easier.

Yeah, yeah. Doesn't make this, that's not a good look. We were an alliance against Ed. We were, but I can't stand by this. No. And to think up until this point, I bet someone from M&S was listening and going, I'm going to send down your so many Colin,

the catapult or cakes. No, we can't have that. I'll die. Let me see the names. Weirdly, I can't wait for this. Here we go. Other retailers. I'm going to say the names of the catapulters,

and you have to tell me where it's from. Yeah, great game. Is that the, or is the phone? Oh, I guess I know we don't know any of the names, do we? I was going to say you say the retailers, and we get trying to guess the names. I can do a round like that as well. There's so many of them.

You can only do one of the rounds. You can't then just do it. I can go back and forth. That's just a memory game. We have to be men in black in between. Oh, I mean, from one catapult to the next, not I do all of them, and then men in black do it, and then do it again, and see which format works the best.

And it keeps the one in that works. Actually, for this one, I'm going to tell you the place. This is good. Morrison's. So I think alliteration is kind of key sometimes. You would think that. You would think that, but maybe it's clearly not because of... But it could be alliteration with Caterpillar, like Colin.

Let me tell you. Yeah, that's exactly what I meant. That's what he meant to you fucking moron. What do you think, what did you think I've... It could be alliteration with Caterpillar, like, for example, Colin the Caterpillar. I thought you meant with Morrison's. No, no, no, no, no, no.

I'll tell you this. I'll tell you this. There were two... Well, I'll tell you this. You really lashed out. There were two caterpillars here that aren't alliterated with Caterpillar. Wiggles. Wiggles is one of them.

Oh, wow, well done. Where'd you get Wiggles from? Sainsbury's. Correct. What that... Okay, this is great. I'm going to lose this. Now, the other one that is not alliterated with Caterpillar

is the Morrison's one. Right. But it is alliterated with Morrison's. Right. We laughed at you so much. What a redemption arm. It's not Mark Morrison, is it? Close.

Mark. Is it Mark the Caterpillar, James? I don't think so. I felt there was something called Mark. It's the worst. It's the worst. Collins is a weird name for Caterpillar, but we're used to that now.

This is alliterated. We don't know the rip-off of Caterpillar, but I'm going to call it Mark. Mark the Caterpillar. No. Okay. You said it was close. Mark Morrison was close.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But not the Mark bit. Ah, it begins with M. Yes. Mucky. No, not Mucky. Oh, Muddy. No, not Muddy.

No. Michelle. Is it male name? Yes. Martin. No. Mr. Caterpillar. Michael.

Michelin. Morris. Morris. So it was close. Yes. Morris the Caterpillar. Yes, I tried to steer you. Not Mark.

Yeah. Are you okay? Okay, yeah, yeah. Michael. What the fuck? You said it. Where's CuffBut the Caterpillar from? Tesco.

Incorrect. No. Not Lidl. Aldi. Yes. Oh, yeah, from the scandal. Oh, I'm heading down to the co-op. Okay.

Sorry, but I just got an email about our bookings for the Christmas special, so I had a little look. This came in. I'm going down to the co-op. What Caterpillar's hanging around there? Christine. Oh, that's good. Is it alliterative, yeah? Yes.

Charlie. It is Charlie, yeah. It is Charlie the Caterpillar at the co-op. Oh, Cecil the Caterpillar. That's Tesco. Lidl. No. What the fuck?

Cecil sounds awfully posh to me. Oh, Waitrose. Very good. These are good clues as well, man. Yeah. Oh, Clyde the Caterpillar. Now. Tesco.

No. For the milling of fucking time. Let's just say we've Clyde. He has a neck all the way down to his ass, which he pats twice. Asda. Asda. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, right. Just for the listener and for James, because you missed that. No. And you just patted her face twice. Almost as if to try and remember what the name of the supermarket was. You can have that twice.

How do you remember that on the Asda adverts? Let's slap this down for me. Do, do, do, do, do. I really thought I was going to get away with that. I mean, there was a Tesco one, which I feel like this should be just, just you guessing it. Yeah.

Because you've guessed Tesco for every single one. They all sound like they could be Tesco. I can see where it is in my Tesco. Huh? What? Oh, you mean in your Tesco that you go to? In my local Tesco. For a second, it's like you were describing

your own mind as being a Tesco. Yes. See where it is in my Tesco. Yeah. Which is also true. Yeah. That's how it was. You're just losing words in your vocabulary steadily.

Have you ever played to them all with Tesco? Okay. I can Tesco where it is. Can I have a letter after C? You. It's not. Cuthbert. We had Cuthbert earlier.

That was the algae one. Don't worry. You did guess Tesco for that, but Cuthbert has already been in God. I'll give you a clue as well with this one. It's not traditionally like a normal Christian name, but there was a character in Combination Street who was called this. Oh, okay.

Got it. I don't know that. No? Yes. Curly. Curly the Casper. I would never have got that. Best game we've ever played on the pod.

Yeah, it's a good pod. It was a good pod game. Good pod game. Good pod. Good pod. Mankos. Pad Thai. What?

This doesn't sound right. No. Yeah, but I put it in. But then you cut into it. You cut into it and it's a cake. Yeah, you cut into it. It's a Colin. Surely.

He's wrapped around like one of the noodles. Put Thai. Yeah. Put Thai. It's a Pad Thai. I had this Pad Thai. It's a specific Pad Thai in Thailand where I went, this is, I think, I don't,

this is going to be really confusing in comparison with everything I'm saying, but I did a month of Thai boxing in Thailand. And I ate a Pad Thai. Sorry? And I ate a Pad Thai. You did a month of Thai boxing in Thailand. And you ate a Pad Thai.

What's funny? What's tickled you there, James? It's funny that he could have more of a Thailand experience like it sounds like somebody didn't go who's lying. What's a Thailand? What did you do in Thai boxing? And I ate a Pad Thai. It sounds like a lie.

Yeah, you've got me. I'll have Percy pigs. But it was like in like a family run, like boxing camp. And so it was just like the people would like make every meal. Like there was just in the middle of a town, in the middle of nowhere, there was like you were just there all the time for a month and they made like the best food I've had outside of my other choices.

It would be so much of it. You'd get like a plate with just like piled piled to the brim. The brim with the plate? The brim, yeah. I just think, yeah, a plate is all brim. Well, it's like this, the next situation. Yeah. What's the brim?

It had a brim all the way down to its ass. What's the brim of the plate? Where it starts becoming plate and starts becoming ass. Yeah, but then I guess I'm on both of your sides here because you said piled to the brim. So that just means outwards, right? It doesn't mean there's a lot. It could just be a very thin layer of Pad Thai.

It's like a mountain. A mountain of Pad Thai. So it's piled to the sky of anything. Mmm, the brim of the ass. This sounds delicious. What sort of, is there meat? Is there fish? At that time I wasn't eating any meat or fish that would have just been...

And also they didn't really, it was mostly like tofu and vegetables being chucked in there. And it was just so good. And also then I left there and when I went back to Bangkok to get my flight, like I had like a few days there and then I was just getting it off the street vendors and stuff. And it's always good. It's always good.

It's always cheap. That really nice fried tofu that's like a bit spongy and crispy on the outside and quite soft in the middle. I love it. I love that stuff. Very good. Have you got loads of lime juice on now? Yeah, there's fresh lime knocking around.

There's, it's like exactly I think what it should be. And since getting back from Thailand, can you find Pad Thai that's as good? No, no. But I think I kind of knew that whilst I was there because I'd never had any that good whilst I before. So I was like, well, this is it. Yeah, this is going to be...

This is ephemeral. So I'm eating it. I'm screaming that. You're always screaming it. So it was, and it was so good. And I love Thai food in general, but that was like particular highlight. And I think it's because they use so many peanuts.

Right. And it reminds me... How many peanuts? Reese's peanut cups. Lots of peanuts. How many do you think? Estimate. How many per dish?

20. Yes. All crushed up. It is good though, that. Yeah. Although I would never, yeah, I'd never really get a Pad Thai in the UK. Get excited about all the other options.

Yeah. Really? And Pad Thai always feels like... I mean, this is me policing myself. It feels like in a UK Thai restaurant, the thing that the most people get. So I can't get it. Oh, yeah.

You know what I mean? Yeah, that's your thing. Whereas proper authentic Pad Thai sounds delicious, especially if you've been doing like boxing all day. Yeah. To get a plate filled to the brim of the sky. Yeah, and maybe actually that's why all the food tasted nice. Maybe it was awful.

I bet it was. I bet it was really good as well, but just being so hungry and lifting that down. Yeah, and at one point, one of the people who was also like at the camp asked like, oh, can we have like a lesson in how to cook this? And they were just like, no. Wow.

We're doing our jobs. We're not going to teach you how to cook. Yeah, you're here to do boxing, not for a cooking lesson. How many people at this boxing camp? Probably like between like 30 to 40 at any time. It fluctuated because you could do different lengths, of course. So some people only came for a week. Some people were there for like a month.

You sure it wasn't prison? Oh, yes, or I'm thinking prison. Because everyone does different lengths, of course, in prison as well, don't they? Yeah, and I did a month. Yeah. Who was the toughest person there? There was a guy who was like quite intimidating,

and he, I won't say his name, but he was like also being a bit like weird. And then we were like, this guy's kind of weird. And then we Googled him and found his mug shots from prison. So he was. He was, yeah. He'd done both. Yeah, he'd done both, yeah.

Prisoned into the Thai boxing camp. I guess, I guess why'd you end up in a Thai boxing camp, right? I guess there was a lot of different reasons for people going to the Thai boxing camp. No one goes there without like needing to get away from their life. I think so. Everyone there was like, oh, everyone's got a story. Everyone's got a story.

What was your story that you brought to the Thai boxing camp? To Bleak for this podcast. Oh, I like a question. What are called the capillicates called in Thailand? Do they have them? I'm not even going to guess an answer. We're not going to guess a Thai name that begins with C. But I didn't actually have that much sugar when I was there,

because the whole, like they don't really have it. They have, they had fresh fruit after every meal and it was so good. They have pineapple, which was just like, it tasted like eating like a tang fast stick. It was so sweet. The ultimate compliment from Anya. This is like, have you had a tang fast stick? I love, anyone else saying that would be like,

it's the best pineapple I've ever had. It like truly tastes like, like what you would imagine a pineapple should taste like not. It tastes like a tang fast stick. Yeah. I would compare them to tang fast. You've ever had one of those? I think that's what pineapples are trying to do.

If real life was like that, like if this fruit tasted like sweets in here. In here? In England. Then I'd have, I wouldn't be needing to eat all these sweets. Yeah. Right. Because fruit's not good.

Yeah, it doesn't taste as good. It's not as good as it could be. The sweets. The sweets. Yeah. Your dream side. Can I give an honourable muncher please? Two, well, actually this is important

because my flatmate, Harry, loves this podcast, loves food. Hi, Harry. Hello, Harry. He is going to be absolutely devastated by what I've done on this podcast. Harry, I agree. Yeah. But he, and he is really into food

and he has taken me for lots of meals, where I've been like, yeah, this is really good. But I've also picked Colin McHattopillus. So it's like, you know, I'm a complex woman. And for his birthday, me and my friend Emily took him to this. He knew about this pop-up that was happening at a pub called the Plymsol. And the pop-up was called, was like a crossover

with Supyar Raman. I think I've got that right. And they were doing like a mix of dishes and they had this like fried chicken. It was like really, really amazing. And it had like a little jammy thing with it. So it has something sweet for me. I requested that.

You take the jam with a spoon before anyone else. Harry went to the tourniquet or the jam with a spoon. Harry knows what he's getting into there. Yeah, he does, he knows. Harry had a bag of skittles. It is back, ready to just throw them on the floor for you later. Yeah, like, just the red and the purple one. I think if it was my dream restaurant,

I'd like Harry to be having his meal next to me so I can have a spoonful of his nice stuff and then go back to mine. Yeah, that's nice. There's a little palate cleanser between your big buckets of sugar. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You thought you could have that. So this fried chicken was like so amazing that it was this thing,

which I didn't know you could live like this, but I've discovered it is like, if you really enjoy something, you go, can we have another one of those in the restaurant? That's such a cool way to live. You feel like a king, I think. But then towards the end of the meal, and if you do that a lot like I do,

you feel like a very specific king. Yeah, dead. Yeah, a lot of wives. Dead one. The Burger King, yeah. The king of polyamory. But I'm going to pick a mix. Oh my God.

Yeah. How have we just gone from the plim soul, which I've still not been to the plim soul, but the four legs guys, they went to their original place. Lovely. They're such good cooking. They did one of the best burgers in London.

That fried chicken sound amazing. Sip your arm and incredible. And now we're going with pick and mix. I've seen how you do this. I've seen how you pull out a pick and mix, you know, mid-meal. Yeah. It would be so inauthentic if I didn't pick pick and mix,

like you don't understand. It would be like a dishonour. I think it's one of my like, go-to questions about a per, for a person. Yes. Like if you were on a date or like a friendship thing, you want to be asking what their top three pick and mix are. Top three pick and mix.

Yeah. What your top three pick and mix? They've changed recently because recent new entry at the top is white and pink chocolate mice. What the fuck? That's bottom, isn't it? No.

That's got to be bottom of the... Look, don't look at me to start trying to talk about like ranking within this. This is a side dish. Have you ever had pick and mix? Yes, of course I've had pick and mix. This is a side dish, Ed. So we shouldn't even be discussing this whatsoever.

So... What are you talking about? Okay. Fizzy watermelon. Strawberry with a white thing in it. Just quickly. Top... In the top five voice menus ever so far.

What are you talking about? This is like... You're going to be a hero to so many people, aren't you? To you, your dad and Rosie Jones. Those are the only three people. And your own dad. Let's not forget. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That goes nuts. I actually... But I like sweet things. But I like chocolate. Oh, he's crawling back. He's crawling back. No, I hate pick and mix. I hate pick and mix.

I don't like sweet, sweet, sweeties. Like, sweetie sweets. You know, sweetie sweets. Sweetie sweets. Sweetie sweets. But I definitely... Even the chocolate mice has surprised me because it is the worst chocolate

and it just coats your mouth with like oil. That's chalky as hell. Yeah. I like it. I'm surprised the name is number one. I think it's number... Maybe it's like, it's like a... It's always a relative scale

because sometimes you get a favourite in the top and then you're like, I've chucked a white mice in there and then you're in the film and you're like, oh, that was a nice surprise. I liked him. Next time I'll get more. Him?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's after you've eaten him as well. You're going... Eyes first. There we go. Mom, is the mouse?

Mark the mouse. Mark the mouse. Yeah, Mark the mouse. I like jazzy as well. Like the little discs was... Yeah. So again, this is interesting. What's yours?

Well, I think I'm more the giant cola bottles. Cola bottles for me if I have to. The foam dinosaurs that are like, you know, they've got... They're kind of jellied on the top and the foam on the bottom. Yeah, anything like that. The snakes.

Yeah, I like that as well. The snakes. Yeah, the snakes. I do like it all. Oh, God, that's good. Foam shrimp can fuck off, right? Yes, I guess so. They can fuck off, but I like foam bananas.

Oh, of course you do. Yeah, you like fake banana. I think there's a real limit on the foam bananas though. Like, you can't eat like 14 of them. No, I couldn't eat 40. I like your trying to sound casual about it, but you know the exact numbers of what you can eat of everything.

You can eat 40. Up the top of my head, 40. Yeah. Yeah. No, he's specific about... Well, I've tried to... I've attempted one. How's this meal looking?

So obviously this is a side dish. Yes. It's looking awful. So you've got the Pad Thai and then a bag of pick and mix next to it. Is it in like a cinema bag? I'd like to go to the thing and spoon. I spayed myself.

You'd spayed yourself, yes. Wow. So you'd be eating your Pad Thai and then you go to the thing and spayed yourself. Like a well-trained dog. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry.

So how often are you spading yourself? Is it like you eat a bit of Pad Thai after the thing? I think I'll finish my Pad Thai. No, I think maybe I'll have like half and then I'll like go get excited. I'll do... I'll spade myself and then I'll come back and then I'll finish the Pad Thai

and then I'll be like, well, this side is really actually for the transitional period before main inputting. I see. So is it a side... Because you're not like eating a bit of Pad Thai popping in a chocolate mouse. Probably not.

But sometimes I think it's maybe a bit like when you go to the cinema and you haven't gone into the screen but the person you're with has gone to the loo and you sneak a bit of pick-and-mix out of the bag. It's like that sort of like naughty pick-and-mix. Why do you have to wait until they go to the loo to eat some pick-and-mix?

This is a secret. Do you agree with this, James? For the sake of the Pad, yes. Is this a cut? Are you waiting till they go to the loo? I think if you've got a bag to share... I see. So it's a bag to share.

Does that... Do you do that? Yeah. Now I have to. Okay. Who are you sharing with though? Who's stupid enough to say it? Yeah, I'll share that with Anja.

And then they go to the toilet in the full knowledge that when they come back, everything's gone. Yeah, everything's gone. There's one cola bottle at the bottom. I've left the cinema. I'm running out. Do you want to be watching a film at this point in your meal? I want to be watching the adverts

because I always finish my pick-and-mix in the adverts. So the adverts can come on. You don't need to tell us that. That's normal. Yeah, yeah. How much have you got? I've actually been quite restrained recently. Because I was realising it was making me quite sad.

I'd be quite sad afterwards. Oh, because they're gone? No, I think just because I ate too much sweets. Massive sugar crash. Massive sugar crash, yeah. And I think you had this experience of being around me as well. Like, I will eat so much sugar and then feel really terrible and be like,

I don't know why I'm feeling so bad. Yeah, this is exactly what you want to support. Yeah. Up in their own absolute crisis constantly. 7.30 comes around, just as the sugar really dips. I'm sad. I feel so sick. Man, I don't know why I'm feeling so sad.

Please help me. I guess maybe you would want pick-and-mix made out of vegetables or pies. No, no, no, no. Or pies, little pies. I don't know something savoury. I'd love a little, oh, little mini pie, pick-and-mix. A bag of hot mini pies.

Cheese, pick-and-mix. That's what a cheeseboard is. Cheese, pick-and-mix. Yeah, you have a cheese, pick-and-mix. I think a cheese, pick-and-mix in a cinema. Or even a mini hot pie, pick-and-mix. If you put it in a bag of pies and cheese, it's going to be like, fucking hell.

Oh, yeah. There's a reason that, because occasionally you might be in the cinema and someone brings in hot food from outside, and it stinks and it's horrible and it's weird. Even nachos is such a weird cinema choice. Yeah. I had someone brought in a roast chicken once. A hot roast chicken?

Yeah. Really? Like from a supermarket rotisserie? Yeah, I don't know the details. I can't remember what I saw. I saw someone eating something weird. And oh, no, maybe it was me. I was eating.

I also at once had it. Then you do know the details. Yeah. No, no, no. I ate something weird in the cinema, which was nothing that weird. It was a packet of vegan ham. It's quite weird, I mean.

But then I posted on Instagram being like, what is the weirdest thing you've ever seen someone eat in the cinema? And loads of people who worked in the cinemas said they'd had to clean up stuff and they'd seen someone bring in a whole roast dinner in like a Tupperware. Wow.

I kind of respect that. And someone else said roast chicken as well. I do respect that a bit. Yeah. Next time I'm going to go to a supermarket and buy a rotisserie chicken. I think. Cuthbert chicken.

Cuthbert chicken. Yeah. Every time someone gets the nachos, I think, what the fuck is the matter with you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I'm sad as well. Spider-Man, no way home. I had someone sitting next to me

eating a full like dumps worth of nachos. I was like, what the hell is this? A dumps worth. Was it crunching? It smells like this. It's like got someone to dump it. Like a giant nacho is taking a dump on a plate. I thought you were suggesting

that the amount that they were eating was going to fully form the dump that they did. Oh, I think it would have. Yeah. But it's such a, it's an odd way of judging the quantity of food. It was a dumps worth. I can't eat that much as a dump at all.

I'll not be done with that until a couple of days. They're not got the time. Dream drink. Yes. You staying sweet? Yeah. Well, I guess it's actually quite fitting. I've only had this like once or twice.

I don't know if it has a proper term, but like red wine when it's fizzy. Okay. That does exist. Lambrusco. There's Lambrusco. I think that's what's called. It's lovely.

Can't be sweet. Or a tango ice blast. No, yeah, yeah, there we go. No, no, no, I'm picking fizzy red wine. Yeah, Lambrusco is lovely. It's really nice. And it feels weird whenever you're drinking it because cognitively, when you take the red wine to your mouth,

you don't expect fizz. Yeah. But that's fun. But that is fun. Yeah, it is fun. It's very tasty and nice, chilled down and can be quite sweet and plummy.

He's coming in to his own now. Yeah, now he's happy. After the pick and mix. Thank you for picking Lambrusco. But he felt like he was in... What a delight. Awaken nightmare. Where have you had this fizzy red wine?

I had it once in Italy. I was going to say, you said there wasn't, you know, no Italian things on your menu, but that is Italian. It is Italian, isn't it? Yeah. And I have had it in an Italian restaurant in London as well.

Because I thought you were going to go with, because I saw this for the first time the other day in Marks and Spencers, there's a Percy Pick soda now. What? There's a fizzy Percy Pick drink. Oh, man. I don't know.

Which looks thicker pink. It looks like they've... Oh, this will be like... Milk or... Percy, come. Absolutely. He loves it. Of course I do,

because it's right up my street, human-wise. It's, you know, it's blue whimsy. And also, and you're apologised immediately. Percy, come. I'm so sorry. To be fair, it's only about our time, isn't it? Like, every part of his body,

they're doing everything with it. They should let me make it. Let me design it. Make it? You know what that entails? They should let me make it. Yeah, what was that reality show where someone wanked off a pig?

The Farm. Yeah. Rebecca Luz. Rebecca Luz wanked off the pig. Yeah, Rebecca Luz. He'll be the new Rebecca Luz. Pigs have got a corkscrew-shaped dicks, of course. Yeah.

Really? It's fantastic. My friend once, or my friend's brother, when we were at school, made Percy Pig vodka. Wow. He basically just took a bottle of vodka, dumped a load of Percy Pigs in it, two days later.

It was just like this thick jelly liquid. The booze is like pure booze, but it just tasted like Percy Pigs. Noted. Yeah, I mean. Yeah, your eyes went very wide there, James. Absolutely. Yeah, we're just thinking, like,

my life would have gone... So I wasn't into booze at school. Yeah. I didn't understand the appeal of it at all, but if someone had done that, my life could have gone very differently. Are you going to raise a toast? What's that reference to it?

No, not a reference to anything. I'm just wondering, when you have your glass of wine, are you going to raise a toast? I feel like I'm being bullied. No, I don't know what he's on about either. Don't worry, mate. That was bullied, you know.

Yeah, toast. I think it's a new question that I'm going to ask. Oh, right. Okay, so unfortunately only you've just become part of a new format. James hasn't warned us about it again. Every time someone picks wine, I'm going to ask them if they're going to raise a toast.

Yeah, this is like when he started asking people, do you want an amuse-bouche? And then he just stopped doing it. Just for a bit, he used to ask, do you want an amuse-bouche? And then he just got bored of that. So apparently the new version of that is, do you want a toast?

You're the first person he's asked. Do I want to raise a toast? Yeah. I'll cheers, Harry, because he's sitting over there with his meal. I'll cheers him. Yeah, that's good to say. So what will your speech be?

I thought we were running out of time. Yeah, that's a good point, actually. We are running out of time. Your dream dessert, then? This is exciting stuff. Apple crumble. That's pretty good. Ironically, the most savoury thing you've had so far.

But I would like to pitch my idea to you, James, because I have told Ed about this. I want to hold a crumble party. Okay. Yes. Where everyone has to bring a different flavour of crumble that they make themselves. I think that's a very good idea.

Thank you. What would you call the crumble party? Crumble party. Call in the crumble party. Yeah, call in the crumble. Crumble party. I thought it was like, you know, there's the rumble in the jungle.

You could call it crumble in the jungle. And have it in the jungle. Yeah. Crumble party, to me, sounds like something that would be in one of those big, like, Me Too exposés on a 70s celebrity. They went to a crumble party. And every week, he used to have something called

the crumble party. Yeah, it does actually. Yeah, it sounds really bad. Everyone would be like, how do we not see the sun? They were having a crumble party every week. And the BBC let them host a crumble party. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What? Taxi-chose money. Now, we've talked about this. We have talked about the crumble party. And I think I obviously introduced the notion of a savoury crumble to that. Of course he did. Would that be acceptable?

Like, what you bring is up to you, but I'm not going to eat it. No. Right. But isn't there one element of the crumble party where all you can obviously crumble, you can just see the crumble? Is that not a mystery element?

Mystery crumble. That could be fun. You go, there's like maybe eight crumbles all lined up. And you go, I'll have a bit of number two, please. And everyone eats a bit of number two. And they vote. It's like crumble pick and mix. Crumble pick and mix.

Yeah, crumble pick and mix. Without, I mean, with pick and mix, you can see what you're getting, I guess. Yeah, that's true. This is completely like roulette. Crumble roulette. Yeah. Croulette.

Croulette. Croulette. Would you not, so, and then vote at the end of the night for the king crumble? Yeah. See, I didn't imagine it as a competitive thing. I imagined it as a wholesome, as a party. But you've turned it into a horrible,

a horrible. You've formatted it. You've done that because you wanted to bring a savoury crumble. And also I want to win the crumble. So in order to figure out how to bring a savoury crumble, you've turned it into a mystery crumble thing where everyone has to eat all of them. Yeah.

And the problem with me is, is I want every, I want to be able to win a party. Yeah. Yeah. You have to be able to win the party. Come on, I'm king crumble. I think the savoury crumble, great. Great idea.

Fine. Yeah, it's not my priority. My priority is apple. My priority is rhubarb. Yeah, your priority is rhubarb. I like apple and rhubarb. Yeah. Together.

Sometimes. Of course, then press crumble. I can make a crumble. That's like the only thing I can make. I'm a terrible cook, which it probably won't be a surprise given everything else I've said. I don't know.

You spayed your own pick and mix. To your credit. I can make a crumble, but I'm not allowed in the kitchen if my mum's making one because I eat all the crumble before it goes into the pot. Have you, you've must have had that.

What, raw crumble? Yeah. When, when the crumble's being made and you're mixing it with your fingers. It's flour and butter. Yeah, and sugar. You don't actually necessarily need to put, do you need to put sugar in that bit?

I don't know. I know I did. I've never made a crumble, but you don't need to do anything. Yeah, I suppose good point, actually. You don't need to do anything. Have you made a crumble? No.

What? Oh, well, you know, hey, I'm surprised. Yeah, yeah. He's eating a few in his time. I've eaten a few. I'll, I'll admit that. You have to make one. I ate one the other day, did you?

My sister made an, an apple and damson crumble. Did you take a bowl out of a Boston? Boston? We're having crumble, buddy. You stay on the wall. I'll bring it over. Now, big question.

Calling the Caspilla crumble. Oh my God. Was that your question? No, obviously not. Big question is what you're having with the, with the crumble. What's going on top of the crumble? Because this is a huge talking point.

Also, is the dessert this one crumble or is it that you have a crumble party? I'd like to have a crumble party. I've never had it before. Yes. No one will come. No. I think a lot of people would go to this.

Yeah, yeah. You've got two different crumbles people have bought. Yeah. What are you having with the crumbles? Is it the same thing for all the crumbles? Have you got different facts full of different stuff? Maybe it's different. To go with the chili con carne crumble,

it would be a lovely sort of natural cheese sauce. That's yuck. Yuck. Oh, Christ. That's fucked up. That's a dumpsworth right there. Oh, yeah. That's a couple of dumpsworths.

I think this is maybe the one thing where I kind of diverge from my traditional values in that I wouldn't just spoon another sweet ice cream onto it if it didn't go thematically with it. So you wouldn't put cookie dough ice cream on it. Yeah, I think I would actually go for a custard sort of thing. Or like a vanilla, like a little bit of vanilla

that's like melting on the crumble situation. Cold or hot, custard? I will go either. But I also eat cold crumble. I think crumble the next day, like you've made a tray of crumble, the next day, 4am. You're in the kitchen.

You're eating the cold crumble. 4am, yeah. The next day when you just work it up naturally. Send alarm 4am in the kitchen. I think crumble works in like no matter where it is. I guess 4am, that's when like your mum who's guarding the crumbles toast off. She's asleep on the floor.

The shotgun's just drifted down. She doesn't know what's going on. It's on the rocking chair. Yeah, yeah. Cold crumble, hot custard. Great. Yeah. Yeah.

Hot crumble, cold custard. Also great. Temperature change. Yeah. I'm going to menu back to you now. See how you feel about it. Water. Sparkling from Yo Sushi from the tap.

Popped on some bread, Peshwari Naan. Starter, Colin the Caterpillar, Face and Neck. Main, Pad Thai from Thailand, from the boxing school. Side dish, pick and mix, and a bite of Harry's fried chicken. Yeah. But Harry's there for the whole thing and you can dig into his meal whenever you like. Is he not looking disgusted with you throughout this whole meal?

Yeah. Yeah, he's angry. Yeah, he doesn't like any of this. Drink. Lamb brusco, making a toast to Harry. Dessert, having a crumble party with custard or vanilla ice cream, depending on what people want, and you would like the apple crumble, specifically,

is the one you'd be most excited about. I mean, Ed, you say this is like top five worst. You're like, I think that sounds great. I figure a lot of people are going to think that sounds pretty great. Well, when I read it back just now, it didn't sound like a disaster. I'll have what Harry's having.

Oh, yeah? It's going to be when Harry met Eddie. Look, I'll have a glass of lamb brusco. I mean, I don't even like Pad Thai that much, but I'll have the Pad Thai, the tofu sounds good. Yeah. And then I'll have a bite of Harry's fried chicken as well. And you're bringing your chili con carne crumble to the...

And I'm bringing my chili con carne crumble to the crumble party. I really think, I love the idea of just a big vat of tiny little mini pies, savory pies, and you get us shoveling and shoveling. I don't want that to be the takeaway from my episode. No, no, no. Isn't that how it's made? No, you know. But the takeaway for me is that he's been thinking about that

since we've talked about pick and mix. Because then you just throwing whole little mini pies into your mouth. And can I have a box of chocolates with the bill? Yes. One of each. One of each, of course. Anya, thank you very much for coming to the Dream Restaurant. Thank you for having me.

No, get out. That is disgusting what you've ordered. There we are. Thanks very much to Anya for coming in. Yes, Captain My Captain. Despite having a dreadful menu, but she gave me a heads up that I wasn't going to enjoy it. So I sort of knew what to expect.

Menu of champions. I think a lot of people are going to be praying at the Church of Magliano from now on. A lot of my sweet tooth brethren who are listening to this. The sweet tooth brethren are the name of this sort of order of monks at the Church of Magliano. Yeah, we all go there and we get given a pick and mix. Well, you have to walk up and the priest pops it in your mouth, right? Yeah, it goes like, I don't know what part of Christ it would be.

Yeah. I guess the sweetest part of a body is the nipples. Yeah, so nipples of Christ. Yeah. Little fried eggs. Little fried egg pick and mix. Nipples of Christ. Nipples of Christ.

Thank you. Yeah, yeah, that's good stuff. Sweet to be with you. And of course, the Christ that is on the cross is Bertie Bassett. Yeah. Because he's made of sweets, so he's up there. Yeah. What a big chocolate cross.

Well, this is a ref that should have been in the show. Yeah. Unfortunately, all the refs in the show are about come. Yeah, yeah. There'll be, I guess they might be edited out, but again, I mean, definitely. Maybe one. Maybe it was one too far. I think the Percy pigs come will still be in there.

Yeah. Basically, whatever you heard on the podcast, there was probably one more. Yes. There was one extra one. One more. One more. Come on. Yeah.

But like, yes. But look, it was an awful menu on that we agreed. Great menu. Everyone thinks it's the best. She didn't say pink wafers. She did not say pink wafers. She said every other piece of crap. Yeah, yeah.

In the pick and mix, you must have been thinking. Yeah. I mean, even though it's not traditionally in there, who knows what was going to pop up in that pick and mix. Man, mini hot pie pick and mix. Yeah, that's going to be, you're going to be dreaming of that for a while. Oh. I would want the pies to be full of marshmallows.

Yeah, you've got a problem. Yep. Thank you very much to Anya for coming in. You must go and see her show. Absolutely no worries if not. Yep. That's the name of the show. I'm not saying that there's no worries if you don't go and see it.

Sure. You must go and see it. The Les Square Theatre Friday 11th of November. Go on to the Les Square Theatre website for details. It'll be fantastic. It will. It'll be fantastic. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Good one. Thanks, man. That's good, actually. Don't forget James is narrated, James and the Giant Peach Audio Book, and Squirrel Nightkin Audio Book. Don't forget that.

Make sure you listen to him. In whatever order you want, actually, those two. Yeah, it doesn't matter, does it, really? They're not part of the same universe. Yeah. Yeah, so it's okay. I'm still on tour for a couple more weeks, I think. If you listen to this when it comes out,

so check out edgamill.co.uk for tickets. I've still got the classics, you know. I can't wait to see it. Warwick, Birmingham, Oxford, I think. A few more, you know. That's some good towns, man. Oh, man, the last three are Bath, Warwick, Birmingham. Lovely.

Oh, what a great trio to finish on. Yes, very excited about doing the rest of the tour dates, and also very excited for a rest. But come and see me for the last bit of the tour. Didn't know you were getting arrested. You excited for it? I'm going to get arrested on the last night of my tour for everything I've said.

For crimes against comedy. Yes, correct. You've not seen the show yet, but yes. Thank you very much. We'll see you next time. Bye-bye. Bye. Hello, it's me, Amy Gladhill.

You might remember me from the best ever episode of Off Menu, where I spoke to my mum and asked her about seaweed on mashed potato, and our relationship's never been the same since. And I am joined by... Me, Ian Smith. I would probably go bread. I'm not going to spoil it in case...

Get him on, James and Ed, but we're here sneaking in to your podcast experience to tell you about a new podcast that we're doing. It's called Northern News. It's about all the new stories that we've missed out from the North because, look, we're two Northerners, sure, but we've been living in London for a long time. The new stories are funny.

Quite a lot of them crimes. It's all kicking off, and that's a new podcast called Northern News we'd love you to listen to. Maybe we'll get my mum on. Get Glittle's mum on every episode. That's Northern News. When's it out, Ian?

It's already out now, Amy! Is it? Yeah, get listening. There's probably a backlog. You've left it so late.