Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 207: Nick Frost

Episode Date: September 27, 2023

Want anything from the shop? Nick Frost – star of ‘Shaun of the Dead’, ‘Hot Fuzz’ and ‘Spaced’ – joins us in the Dream Restaurant this week. And a bromance begins…Nick Frost’s new book ‘A Slice of Fried Gold’ is published by Bonnier on 28 September. Buy it here. Follow Nick on Instagram @FriedGoldRecorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the off menu podcast, taking the grapes of conversation, crushing them with the bare feet of friendship, pouring into the bottles of humour and your making podcast wine. I think there's more steps in wine than that, but also every episode gets better with time. That's true. Ages. Ages well, but then some some episodes are best enjoyed straight away. Yep. And some age well. That said, gamble. My name is James A. Caster. This is off menu podcast. We own a dream restaurant. We invite a guest in every single week and ask them their favourite ever start at Mancourt. Does a side dish and drink not in that order. And this week, today's guest is this week today's guest is Nick Frost. Nick Frost. Nick Frost. It's Nick Frost, an amazing actor, writer. I mean, just part and

parcel of our appreciation of comedy and televised comedy and comedy films. Very excited to have Nick in. Yeah, yeah, it's played so many iconic characters. So many. I think I think we say just as a national treasure. I think so. Is it a national treasure? National treasure. Also, uh, loves food. Cooks a lot. There's written books about food. Well, he has written a book. He's going to be chatting about his book with us. It's called a sliceice of Fried Gold. And it's his love letter to food, to kitchens,

and the people in them. So I think a lot about what he cooks at home and his recipes for home cooking and things like that and stories branching off that. It's a great idea for a book. It's very exciting. Yeah, and we're hoping to get some of those stories. Maybe some stories that aren't in the book.

Maybe. Two in the sep too in this episode. Some exclusives. However, even though we love Nick Frost, as we do every episode, this is not just fun, Nick. Not just fun, Nick. But if Nick says the secret ingredient, an ingredient which we deemed to be unacceptable,

we will be forced to kick him out of the dream restaurant. And this week the secret ingredient is... Conneto. Now I assumed we'd done this for Edgar Wright when we had Edgar Wright on the podcast. But no, because it was a live one, we let the audience pick it. So it was salad cream, I believe. Now obviously we do like Conneto's, we're not idiots, but Nick, along with Simon Pegg and Edgar, made the Conneto trilogy. Yes. And so therefore, just because it's associated with the guests.

And the producer Nairapark. the guests and the producer and I repark Yes, and the producer and I repark must mention I repark. Yeah, I know she listens to this. Oh, yes So to leave her out of the the Cornetto trilogy team would be an oversight. Yes, no We've had neither the Cornetto trilogy would not exist. No, it wouldn't have the fun little Let's try and do a Cornetto analogy and then I panicked So have the fun little, let's try and do a Coronato analogy and then I panicked. So, we're putting an array game today. So I hope Nick is, I was raised in sharp as we are. Because we would have been a bit of back and forth in this episode. Yes. I'm looking forward to this episode, I'm looking forward to hearing Nick's choices, the

stories behind food and hopefully he won't choose the corner, because if he does, we're filled. I feel pretty bad. Feel pretty bad. I'm excited to meet him. Yes, me too. This is the off-mate. You've met him already. What?

You've met him already. Yeah, I met him on the set of a film. Just for one day, a little chat's in between take. So I was just there for a day playing Felix the Iron Munger. Who was originally supposed to be in that part? I feel it's the cat. LAUGHTER Yes, Felix the cat was meant to do it.

Yeah. This is the off-menu menu of Nick Frost. MUSIC Welcome, Nick, to the Dream Restaurants. Hello, hello there. Welcome Nick first to the Dream Restaurants, but expect to give us some time. Thank you. We have been, we've talked about getting Nick on for a long time, haven't we?

Listen, I think if I scrolled through my text from Edgar Wright, pretty much all of them are. Yeah, you should get on. Yes, I do. You take these details to me a lot. Edgar does this from time to time when usually it's where people he knows and he does the thing where he says, oh my god, you got to meet sound town and you love them. You love them. And like twice this has happened now where eventually I meet the person. I hate them. Like we end up actually hating each other. It's really a lot of it. That's all what you have to do that. So that's probably why I didn't want to get, I didn't want to come here and just immediately hate you.

Yeah, which could happen. Yeah, but you're here now. And I don't. Well, not yet. Not yet. But I'm not going to say that if I did, it would have happened by now. Right, okay.

Like immediately I walked in, I would have been like, ah, fuck this. Is that why you got here early because you're like, you wanted that time to be? Yeah, I didn't. I wanted to give you some time to find a replacement. Yeah. Should just say, I'm going to bounce. I can't stay. One of my kids just died. So I got to leave. Always stuck. Yeah. Oh, no one ever questions it. So I've never been questioned. Yeah, he's a piece of it. It's made so I was like, thanks for giving up a nip up. He had to go. What? Is his kid died? Sorry. Is he okay?

No, you mean like a young goat. Oh, yeah. Oh, because he's a butcher. All right. The goat's. I think I'd question it if that happened twice in a row. Yes, right. Yeah, would but would you if someone said I've got to go because my kids died? What? Yeah, I'm just like, the next second of them like, if they were in the kids just send me like, oh my god, I'm really all right with it. Hey, you're right. Oh, you're, yeah, I find it. Yeah, the reason why Edgert has been so adamant about it is because you are like, we usually would ask people if they're a foodie, but it's well known that your Instagram is for the

pictures of food that you cook, a big cook. So, like, is this been your whole life? Written a book about it. I have, yeah. It's like a fried goat. Right. Well, I didn't really, it crept up on me, I think, slightly. I think food, as you know, thinking about food as a child now,

it's a nice memory, it's a nice memory of childhood and my parents and family and friends and stuff and growing up in a kind of weird family where there weren't. Good memories were kind of outweighed by bad sometimes. So it's a nice way to remember that, you know, I think. And as I got older, I kind of found like, I could cook, so I could cook for my friends. And then that turned into cooking for my family and now cooking for my kids, you know, and I think through that, trying to get them, because I say, there were things that I used to,

my mum used to cook me, that I learned how to cook, and now I cook them. So I don't have parents anymore, but they can, I was going to say my children can now taste my mum through, you know, yes, the only way they'll know them. And I kind of think there's something more tangible in that than just looking at a photograph for a woman with a Bive. Yeah, chill. And for the book says that is this like your entire life story food food? No, not really. I think it was like, because I wrote another book before a few years ago, and with this one, it was like, okay, so I'm going to write every recipe that I remember in my head, and that I use on a day-to-day

basis. Obviously, there's like a, 20 that are always like revolving. And then there's a bunch of other stuff in terms of people coming around, barbecues, salads. And so I wrote down everything. And it was like 250, 300 things. And then I wrote down a bunch of techniques that I know or taught myself. And then I wrote a little story and the recipe for every one of those things I wrote down.

Oh, nice. And then it was like 120,000 words. And it was like, this is written about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, you know, we kind of chiseled away and found something. I didn't want it. I wanted it to be like a memoir and funny and a bit about food, but it's also about friends and my family and my, one of my kids to know me a bit better through, but it's also about friends and my family and my,

one of my kids to know me a bit better through that, you know, and, and not just being an angry dad who threatens to hit them often. Yeah, yeah, you know, frequently. You were saying earlier that sometimes you go out for a meal with Edgar and he'll inhale something delicious and push it away, not seem to really appreciate what he's had. Do you ever have him out your house? You've made him something incredible. And he's pretty good at that to be fair.

Yeah. I think he understands that effort has been put in and I think he kind of relaxes a lot more when he's in someone's house and his partner's there and we're outside and you know, he really appreciates it. Yeah. I did have I had I was working once with an American director and I thought it would be nice to sit to him. We can have Sunday lunch. Why don't you come over on Sunday and come and have Sunday lunch? He was like oh my god, it's amazing. And he said what time? I said well come for two and we'll eat three and then he turned up at like five o'clock. And obviously being English and I made a rib of beef.

And I said, well, why, why are you so late? What's happened? And he said, oh, I thought I was like, because in America they have like a big buffet and you just want to rip. Right, yeah. You just go, like, and you're Sunday night.

What are you doing? It's facts. It's complete. It's fun. What have you done? Is he pounded? We didn't rip a beef if you fucking dick. I'll be livid.

Oh, well, you know I would be. I would have turned his house with my dad and we just used to open the fund door. Yeah, you just got to eat, right? Yeah, you wouldn't let him in the house. No, no, he's not getting in the house. I'd move. I'd move house. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Quit whatever job he was doing with him. Get one of my friends drunk and he'll say, oh, it doesn't. Yeah, it's gonna be dark. I mean, his children died. Is there a dish that you've put on your Instagram that has like got the most amount of like interaction that people got the most excited about that you've been cooking? Oh, I'm not sure. I put, I made a pie the other day and I make two pies, me and the kids and then my partner who doesn't eat me, usually

make her a separate pie. And I done like lots of nice little pastry work on top of the me and the kids pie with stars and stuff. And I hadn't bothered with hers. And then she was like, oh, well, I haven't I got any pastry stuff. I was like, oh, so I did like a dick. And that got like 180,000. Yeah. And yeah, it was nice. It was nice to see a reading. I'd say a deck. Yeah.

vegetarian meatless. Dix five. I don't know. I think people just like it when like chopping people like chopping. Yeah. Did you do quick quick chopping? Quick chopping. Yeah. Yeah. I like chopping mushrooms like chopping. Yeah, quick chopping. Quick chopping. Yeah, yeah, like chopping mushrooms quick is yeah,

but I think I don't I didn't really had a, I hate the phrase deep dive, but I haven't really had a deep dive on it. I bet that's a thing. It's sure. Yeah, I mean, I know there's that I keep, I think it's because I look at it a lot, but it comes up in my algorithm.

I'm quite mad, but it's that Chinese girl that's obviously she has a mic in around her mouth, and then she just inhales wet sausages. I just, it's compelling, but I just, James loves that sort of stuff. I've not watched that. You love ASMR. I love ASMR, but I watch people eat it stuff.

Is that what ASMR is, the sounds are come to you? I mean, when people whisper into the microphone, I don't like the mouth sounds. Yes, you do. I mean, I should like like the mouth sounds. Yes, you don't. I mean, I should like it, but there's something just so gross about it. Well, that's, that's the interesting thing about SM. I like you think it sounds gross. And James finds it deeply sexual.

No, I get a whispering stuff, but the kind of wet. I don't like it. I don't like it. No, I don't find it sexual. I like, I like the light triggers. I like the lights being shot, shy into my eyes and moving around and stuff. That's what I like. That No, I don't find it sexual. I like the light triggers. The light's been shined in my eyes and moving around and stuff. That's what I like.

That's what I find relaxing. And sexual. It's not sexual, Nick. Yeah, I think it could be. Yeah. Shining a light on bits. Not shining like my bits. It's not that.

Do you find that because you can cook, people seem to regard it as a magic trick, people who can't cook are absolutely blown away, even really simple stuff. Oh yeah, agreed. I think a lot of the time people come around and think you're a wizard or just like, I just made you, it's a sandwich. Yeah, I make you a ham and cheese sandwich on white bread. I think also there's a part of me that uses it as a way of showing off slightly, because

I mean, I think being an actor, there's a, there's a, I don't know, not a preconceived notion that actors are showoffs, but I'm just not that tall. So if I can, I can silently stand behind my kitchen and not engage in any small talk with people I've known for 25 years and then silently serve them up, something amazing. That's kind of the conversation. Or, yeah, that's me, my way of saying I love you, but I find it difficult to do this. How do you take the compliments?

Do you take them well? Oh, no. No way. God, I mean, I just, I, yeah, I just can't do it. So if people tried to really compliment you on your food and really show you a compliment? Go to the toilet. Yeah. My wife often finds me in the toilet just for't do it. So if people tried to really compliment you on your food and really show you a comment? Go to the toilet. Yeah. My wife also finds me in the toilet just for the lights off.

But if no one mentioned the food or didn't give you any compliments, how would you feel then? Oh, I'd be like, I'd say to my wife. Nothing's working. Nothing. Nothing's no worse. Just that noise. Yeah, yeah.

I don't know. I think I kind of always get the impression people enjoy the effort. Yeah. Absolutely. But sometimes you just don't know. I think I kind of always get the impression people will enjoy the effort. Yeah, absolutely. But sometimes you just don't know how much of an effort. Well, I think that's also down to my brain makeup and the fact that I love the, my new shy of mishon class and set up and peeling stuff and chopping and like pastry and making stock.

It's all part of it, you know. Just love it. And cleaning up as you go along. Oh my god, yeah. I went to that. I worked in a commercial kitchen for a while. Yeah. It doesn't fly if you can't.

Yeah. You just don't work like that. I think my, yeah, my favorite thing about cooking is when you serve the meal, the kitchen looks like it hasn't been touched. Totally. That's so satisfying. Almost the whole... Yeah, yeah.

Oh, really proud of that as well, because some people's houses and they just do a little thing and it's like, wow, he's 12 fucking plates. How would you do... There's only three items. Yeah, yeah. How did you do that? Also, it's, I think, me knowing that as soon as that food goes on the table, I'm done.

Then you can just be in there and enjoy it. Yeah, I love it. Yeah. All that hard work is worth it for that point, you know, but then you got the small talk while you eat the food and then clearing up when everyone's finished back out the small talk. No more clear up for me. Unless, unless I feel like I'd rather do that. Yeah. And then I'm happy to do that. I'll do the clear up as well and sort of chat while I'm doing it. Yeah.

But then I've had a couple of drinks by that point, so you almost don't even notice the clear up. Yes, it's just how it feels like you really got away with it. Do you, sorry to turn the light on to you? Don't turn the light on this guy with the light. Do you have a dishwasher or do you have a dishwasher? I have a small, like a half-size dishwasher,, which, yeah. So plates go in there and everything. It's going all right, but, you know, we're hoping to get the full size dish

where I've just seen, and then I'll wash up the rest of the stuff. It's a bit of both. I like to wash up. I kind of, I kind of like, this is going to come across wrong. I kind of like the kind of cleansing quality of burning myself with really hot water.

Yeah, you know, something about it, but like I know it would kill someone else, but I'm gonna put it in, I'm gonna take the plug out. What I do sometimes is if I hit super hot, I'll run the cold tap and then use the flow to hide my hand in. Do you know what I mean? So then I can get to the bottom of the sink

and pull the plug out and then get back out using the tube of cold, if you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you get the cold cup. You get in the cold cup. Yeah, you feel like you got away with it. You've really stuck it to the hotel. But normal people wouldn't even put their hand in a sink that hot. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and then discarded or do you want the actual lime to bob about in the mangan in the glass? I don't know. I don't want to have to make that choice. No. I want to be in and take it out. I'll sometimes come with the kids, I do a thing where I'll eat it like a whole. Yeah.

And they love it. They love it. They're like, that's gone mad. Yeah. That's just a bit of lemon or lime. You're just proper wedged straight in. Yeah. Yeah.

Chew down. Yeah, even with a pierc. Yeah, I went through, I only did it about three or four times, but I went through a phase of sitting in meetings, peeling it like a lemon. Because I was like, people don't just peel and eat lemons, like oranges, so I did it a couple of times. And it's a lot of hard work. And then people were like, do you peel an,

and eat a lemon? And I was like, oh yeah, yeah, I did. You've got to be remembered in these meetings, you know? Yeah. Yeah, so anyway, I was talking to just peeling a lemon, which, which meetings were these? I just like to fill meetings like meetings for script work and stuff like that. So in my own, when I had my own company, it was just like, uh-huh. Yeah, he's just at the boardroom just peeling a lemon.

Did you know the lime? I couldn't really, I couldn't peel a lime. Too small. I'm sure there are kinds of limes. They probably grow them somewhere in Japan, like quite big and massive limes here. Loose, like loose skin Japanese limes. Oh, yeah, that's the thing. Yeah, I mean, the skin Japanese limes. Massive Japanese loose limes. So let's pop one of those in. You're a lot more

than that, but you're a Japanese lime. Yeah. And this is the table. Yeah, this is the dream restaurant. So we can't invent limes. Yeah, we have a loose skins Japanese lives. Thank you. Thank you. And put it into a squeeze it into your drink. Thank you very much. I'm a bit bobbing them out. You can eat the whole thing into 10-year kids. I remember that, you know. That'll be something when they're older though. They'll be like, Dad used to eat the limes whole and it was like seeing him in lime. They'll think it's not a normal thing for dads to do.

Yeah. And then they'll tell their friends and they'll be like, what the fuck? You're abused. You know, that's kind of abuse, right? They'll think it's not a normal thing for dads to do. And then they'll tell their friends and then be like, what the fuck? You're abused. You know that's kind of abuse, right? It's what you need daddy to lie. Just does some way to try and make them like me. Is it enough? Is it?

Is it any ice in the drink? Ah, nah. I'm all right. Good on you. Because then it isn't unless the ice has been made using the sparkling water. Oh, yeah, because so it doesn't. Then it would lose its fizz, surely. It's diluted.

Yeah. So you'd want sparkling ice. Why is the ice tea was lime juice? Mm-hmm. Oh, nice. Would that be nice? With the pale saline? Oh, yeah.

You've crunched with the ice? Yeah, of course. Yeah. nice? I don't know. With the pale, with the pale still in it. Oh, yeah. You've thrown it in front of you. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. But yeah, no ice. No ice. No ice.

Fair enough. Luskin, Japanese lime, squeeze it in, eat it for the kids. Yeah. Job is good at. Yeah, thank you. Pommelms are bread. Pommelms are bread next to last. Pommelms are bread.

I'd never, who would ever. I mean, I think it will be revealed when I, but yeah, bread, not poppodoms, unless my main course is curry, then yeah, I get it. But I like bread a lot. I love crusty bread, I love salted butter. I went to Denmark a few years ago and I found like an amazing little restaurant called,

there were two of them, like inner forest on a beach. And one was like a place you went to have dinner called the Red House, and then they had one you could have lunch in called the Yellow House. And there was like just amazing. There was only like 10 seats in there, and they served up these breads, which obviously would be made in their own tiny little

bread molds. Yeah. And they served them whole, like tiny little loaves. They was like amazing, just like one was sour though, but one was like really dark and almost sweet and it was just great. Just crispy. I was like that's in on that kind of bread where if you kind of examine it, you can see just the kind of bubbling underneath. It was really amazing. Oh, wow. These restaurants sound amazing. They were really good.

The Red House and the Yellow House, yeah, they're like 40 minutes north of Copenhagen and just found them and bought them and then we went for a walk along the beach. It's like an amazing... I don't know if it's like an amazing Danish designer from the 50s, who essentially was allowed to design all the buildings in this town, all like the, he designed like a petrol station and the

theatre and like the places you change in the beach and stuff. Oh, cool. But everything was concrete. So I can't remember who it was, but I went there specifically to go and see that because it was kind of amazing. And then I found that these places were there too. Do you have lunch in one and dinner in the other? Yeah. Is it the entire same clientele from lunch are all in there?

No, we went to have lunch and it was amazing. And then we went back a few days later to have dinner in the other place. And it was full of pricks. It wasn't like nice at all in fact, I was that I remember there was a time when I'm looking at this guy thinking, I'm going to hit you with my main cause. So like, it was just bogging, it was like, this is weird. It shouldn't, this is a Michelin style restaurant, you should have to think, I'm going to fight the rest of these clientele.

I like how you think it's the same people for lunch and dinner like that. That's why I see you have to, yeah, I thought you had to go on the same day. Yeah, right. And there were 10 of you having lunch and then you just waited on the beach between like it's the cursed child. Yeah, exactly. It's like it's the cursed child. Yeah. Yeah, we went for a walk along the beach and there was an amazing house just on the beach. And I said to my wife, oh, it wouldn't be amazing if we hired it and spent the summer here, summering in Copenhagen. Yeah. And like, I came back and looked on air,

like Airbnb or something, and the house was there, and we rented it for like three weeks. Oh wow. And it was, it was, it was horrible. We left off the like two days. I was there for two nights on my own, and my partner turned up and like,

I don't know why, but the people downstairs, it was like they just had industrial skunk machines, just pouring weed smoke up through the floor walls. Just like crazy, and it was like they just had industrial skunk machines, just pouring weed smoke up through the floor walls. Just like crazy. It was just crazy. I don't know much about you, but I think that was your dream. No, not now. I mean, what? Yeah, I mean, if the family 10 years ago, but I was just like, it was too much. Yeah. And we fucked off. They drove us out. I'm going to Copenhagen later this year. Oh, I love it. Would you recommend I'll go to the Yellow House, the Red House for the day? Yeah, I hope it's I heard the yellow House may have closed, but I went to Noma. I went to Noma want to talk about food and stuff,

but I kind of got some family in Sweden. We have a little house if we go to sometimes. And you have to go via Copenhagen. And I didn't tell, they weren't lies, but I kind of admitted truths in terms of missing a fly and found myself on my own in Copenhagen on a Saturday. And I, I guess here's the lie, but I'd, behind this facade had been finding myself a table at Noma. So I got a table like through just texting people and DMing people saying, I mean, I mean, I got to table through texting people and DMing people and saying, I mean, coming. And I got to go to Noma on my own. And it was amazing.

It was incredible. And I think I don't think my mouth will ever forget it. But it was also like when we, like the last kind of course that came out, the kitchen had made little cornettos for me. Oh, wow. Which was kind of amazing. But like all the chefs come out to say hello when every guest of us has nothing. But they're like, I think they were saying

that there were 40 chefs in the kitchen, but then there were another 40 chefs upstairs. But that food was amazing. That food was nice. But if we're talking about like what we, what, you know, none of that makes my final thing. Yeah, I think I'm the same. So we've both been to Noma and to a few places like that. And it's always an incredible experience, but there's never a dish where I'm like, I would eat that every day.

Yeah, right. Because did you go to geranium? No, I'm not mean to. Uranium. We it's like this massive three Michelin star restaurant in the football stadium. Right. It's like in, um, I don't know what Copenhagen's biggest, biggest team is, but it's in one corner of their stadium at the top and the kitchens look out on the pitch. And it was amazing, but it was like 30 courses. Yeah. It was too long. We got there at like 7 p.m. and by 11 30, we were still halfway through. And me and my girlfriend had a route

because you get a different wine with each course and after like seven courses, she was fucking awesome. Like, he comes over at some point and starts to describe what's next. And like, she literally goes, oh my God, it was funny, but I was also like, oh, no, you shouldn't pretend to be asleep.

Because also we've got a long way to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then at the end, when I thought it was like 1am, I'm like, oh, we can go now. And then they come over to say, oh, we want to show you around the kitchens. Yeah, oh, fuck off. It's just nice.

Yeah, we get it a clean and there's the pitch. That's what, yeah, I had that experience at Nobu where they show you around the kitchens at the end. Yeah, we get it a clean and there's the pitch. That's what I had that experience at Nobu where they show you around the kitchens. Yeah, and it's massive. Right. Just like so many kitchens. And then I went to Longclune recently for my birthday. Simon Rogan's place in the late district. Right. It's incredible. I think you've been recently as well, right?

So it's just one of the best meals I've had. And at the end of that, they go, Oh, we show you around the kitchens. He's like, I've had so much food. And they literally walk you to the back of the restaurant and go, there it is. There it is. And it's tiny. Yeah. Right. It's tiny in that kitchen. Yeah. The main thing is you look for,

I don't know how, I don't know how you've done this. How they've done this all night. Yeah. In this tiny little kitchen. Yeah. Food doesn't know how big a kitchen is. Food. Right. Food has no awareness. Food's got no idea how big it is. Let's get into your meal proper. Okay, we'll do your dream starter. Okay, so my starter, there's a restaurant that I've been going to for quite a while and it's kind of fancy but I just kind of really like

it and they're always really nice to me and it makes me feel special. But that, uh, Heston, Blumenthal is a restaurant in town called dinner. And they serve a star called a meat fruit. And that would, that would be it. I mean, that's like, that's the only thing from a restaurant that's on my entire. I just love it. It's just like magic and it's something that I could never, and would never try to make. And I think part of that is, there's a joy in that. Like, this is so special. Like, eating amazing Chinese food, it's like, I could never try to make this. So, yeah, there's a joy in that, you know, and it just, it looks like an orange, a mandarin, and you cut it inside and it's meat. I do a different one. In the winter too, they have like a plum, a meat plum.

Oh, do they change up the fruit season? Yeah. I don't like meat plum. Just like the tangerine one. And again, the bread there, like a really nice kind of, they've obviously oiled it to fuck on the griddle and then sorted the bread too. Oh, it's just so good. Is it like chicken liver parfait in the middle of it?

And that's really light as well, isn't it? It's not just right. And if you've stayed in that hotel, I think we stayed there as like a birthday tree once. And it's part of room service. Oh, wow. You can get it up to the room. You can sit and have it in the bath, if you wanted. Meek fruit in the bath. Yeah. Just floating on the slice of sourdough.

Into your mouth. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So this has come up on the slice of sourdough into your mouth. Yeah. Yeah. So this has come up on the podcast before. Quite a long time ago, maybe even like the first series and we haven't had it again. I think Josie Long said it. No, I got it wrong. Ah, it's magic.

Oh, Dynamo said it. Did Dynamo say it? Dynamo said meat fruit. Oh, good. It's one of the things that I still haven't tried it. And every time I hear about it, I'm like, I really like to try that. And I kind of know that I'd love it. Know that it'd be really nice.

Also, like seeing other customers, E, in it too, because other kind of like white middle class English people, who they obviously because they're kids of pain free or, and they, oh, there. It's like a fruit. And they're like, not sure what it is. It's too much theater for middle class divers, isn't it?

They can't quite not orange. It's not an orange. I feel like because it's quite famous now, people are going there for that. Right. Some of the element of surprise is gone. So I feel like, yes, right. Maybe one day, Heston should just make the, like, meat plate. Like a meat plate. Yeah. And then,

but then have a normal tangerine. Right. So people are like, well, I have to meet through. Yeah. Right. And then they go through and it's meat plate. Yeah. Meat plate. There's like a weird in the book. There's, there's like a, I don't know, a lot of the times things go off on tangent. So it was like, I wanted people to read, to read a book and you're reading a recipe and then suddenly you get to a point and you're like, I don't know, hang on, how the fuck do we get to this point? I like how a story can do that.

And there's a recipe which was kind of based on dining at dinner where someone found that if you were to eat this part of the chicken, but you were to dry it over like 20 hours and then grind it. And if you were to then snort that, it released something inside your body where you literally fell backwards and swept up in a wave of ecstasy. And you would fire out of a gland in your anus, this incredible chicken stock. And so someone just found out this could, and then it took off. So my book gets to a point where a young couple take her parents to go and try this amazing thing. And it's all part of the dining, you know, you're sat

and your table is essentially on like a slew's grate. And as you walk in like people, I'm firing the sky out of their names. But then like the waiters capture it. And then you then all sit and drink it and stuff like that. That was a path going to dinner. I can see it. I just like that thing about cooking that there's secret glands that fire a stock should you, you know, tweak them. I would definitely, it's not the chicken and pie stock. I got it. That was part of an experience in a restaurant.

Yeah. I know, no bounds. Have you seen no suggestion? Have you ever seen people eating autolong with the clothes over their head? Any in succession. That's the only time I've seen. That's what they do that in a scene. I've switched off sessions.

Sorry. Just sorry. I'm done. I saw four apps. I'm done. Yeah. There was a lot of, I mean, probably cut this out. A lot of actors just not sitting on chairs properly.

Just sit on the chair. You know, I don't think we can cut that out. I'm amazing. What you did in is not to lie succession, because they were sitting down there as properly. Just sit on it. Well, I like that you notice that early doors and your brain probably won't focus on that. There's a lot of that with like costumes and stuff on anything. Yeah, I'm done. Sorry, I hate these shirts. How were they sitting on chairs in succession?

I've never noticed. Just like, I'm just like, you'd stand on it and then crouch on it or you'd turn it around. Any, you know, I did, I not did a thing, but just talking about this ages ago and I could show like, went on, but like, when actors decide to do a thing in a scene where they have a cup and a cigarette and a biscuit in their hands. Like, don't stop it. What are you doing so much? It's just, it's too much. Just seeing the fucking chair.

I think, like, I never know what my hands are doing. If I think about what my hands are up to, yeah, like in a photo, I'm like, well, what the fuck are they there for? Yeah, right. So you've got to do something, right? Yes, but part of me feels like as an actor sometimes, the actors in this machine and responsible for every bit of the acting.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Even if you don't act, you're still responsible for not doing that. Yeah. Because there is a button that makes it all move. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah. I'm trying to think if I've seen Nick in something where you've got a lot going on all at once. I can't believe there's been something where it's like that much stuff. Someone's like an actor who chooses to smoke a roll up on her, because whatever he acts as dream is the bit of crammer tobacco that is on your anytime you get to bring a bit of real life into a monologue. Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah, I love it. I mean, yeah. But you know, like that, you do the corner of the trilogy, you drink a lot of pints,

you do a lot of pub talk, a lot of pub talk, a lot of pints. Yeah, well, that's fun because it's just like, this is what we did. Yeah. This is what we did. You know, it's easy learning the lines is the tough bit, but improvising Clyde. Yes, I think Edgar wanted me to, because I was loved though, and Edgar and Simon did too, those films every which way but loose, that Clint Eastwood and the orangutan, and I'll do what say to Edgar and Simon, he's not that good an actor. You know, not Clint Eastwood, orangutan. I was like, I mean, yeah, he's all right, but he's not like amazing. He can do the finger or shake his chops a bit and it's not like Amazing and that would make those I heard years ago that Clyde the yeah, the orangutan actor. He was beaten to death by his

Really with a length of broom handle when he didn't be I've himself Jesus. Yeah, it's so clear Yeah, that is cold. That's not a great, you know, one of the great orangutay actors. Yeah, I'm glad you're into death. Well, here's a light a question. Of your three characters in the corner of Trilogy, which one of them do you think dragged the most in the film? Well, I think in the end, Andy, right, from well-dend, because he's a pub, he's under

the pub, or to right, from well-dend, because he's a pub, he's a pub or a pub or a real. Yeah. Yeah. Once he kind of, once he decides he's going to drink again, then there's no stopping him. But is that it? Because he's the one, because that's one night. Ed Palf, Ed's just a puffer, really. Yeah. Danny, I guess Danny Barterman can drink a big post. I like, he's, he's smashed on the first night. Yeah. Right. He goes at, he goes at, he's done the bunch of nights. I think maybe Danny would Danny would drink alone at home, you know, watching films. Yeah, yeah. What yeah, maybe Danny would be he would have the the most shot liver. Yeah. I've got a full mind. I couldn't watch him because he was sat too normally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, no,

that was my, that's a second. It was to be standing on his chairs. You should turn these chairs upside down and have four people sat on the legs. Dream main course. What, look, I mean, it's essentially a roast Sunday, Sunday lunch. And I, I was thinking about this on the way and I don't have many pork friends. They like beef or chicken. The kids don't really like pork.

So for that reason, I'm having slow roasted belly of pork with a fucking ton of great crackling on. Yeah. I spent years really struggling with crackling and thinking how sometimes I get it, but it wouldn't be, do you know, sometimes when you just get like a shield of crackling, it's not like, if you get crackling great, it becomes like a, like, pork arrow.

It really bubbles up and yeah. That was always my dream crackling. And I've kind of cracked it the last couple of years. So that kind of, that kind of crackling. And just some of this has been cooked for like six or seven hours. And often I'll just take all the skin off and then deal with it later, stick it under the grill when it's...

You do the crackling separately. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Cause for years I was like, oh, that doesn't seem, feels like cheating. Right. But then it's like, he gives the shit. Yeah.

Yeah, that's the main thing. Yeah. So I'd say that, I'd say, Roseport with a great roast potato. You got a technique for most potatoes. People always looking for the tips for the most potatoes. Yeah, just hot, just hot oil. I've got them in hot oil.

Yeah, a parboil of first and then I've seen it. I've never seen an oven. He's an oven, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, I turn it on pre-heat oven. And then a pan, I was pretty into something. I don't just, yeah. I mean, to turn it on pre-heat oven. And then the pan, I was pretty into something. I don't just tip them into, loose into another.

These are all good tips. Yeah, I mean, I think annoyingly, not annoyingly, good lover. And my ex-wife does an amazing rose potato. And mine are never quite as good. I think you can say that's annoying. To sit below. I don't want to seem bitter. I mean, also, I need to support her in that.

And so, you know, I often say to my, our son we share, oh, isn't Mum's potato nice? You know, there's a way of, I want him to grow up thinking, good dad never, he never badmouthed Mum. But if it was always just the potato,

if that's all for his, it's always, all he's got here is the potato. Mum's potatoes, isn't it? Oh, no. Yeah. Well, they bloody house, the potato. So, yeah, she has a good potato, but I mean, I guess it's always just crispy and soft inside

and... Hard boiling and shaking. Yeah. Yeah, through a colander. Through a colander. Because you get a nice little softness then to the outside. My wife calls those Michael Keynes respirators, because he wants detailed that recipe in an interview in a broad sheet newspaper. So he's taking a lot of credit for that recipe. Yeah, good on him.

Let him. My favorite Michael Keynes fact is that when he does a film at the end of the day, he has the white shot first. And then when they push in, he puts his own trousers on. And then when they push him for the close up, he's got all his own clothes on. And then as soon as they rap ease, all right, I'm off. And then he goes, that is outstanding. We all love that. I like to say into the later costume. Can you make sure my trousers are just stood by so I can put them on. That is a good impression. Very good. That's stuck up on me. I like Michael Cain.

It's because you're not doing too much. So what people do with Michael Cain impressions often is they really go for it. Right, it's a big. But you've sworn it back. It's just 60s. Yeah, I think now it's a, I think as people have aged, my voice has got better at doing an impression of them. And I think David Attenborough getting old has certainly helped me too, because I can do it. I spent about two or three weeks or a few years ago. I just said to myself,

do David Attenborough and get a good one. And I did it. And so shall I, I'm going to leave. Please. Please. For these younger booons there, life is just beginning. What for others? Their life is sadly making a web. And then that was, that's the end of the story. No, I was like, I was due to myself to my myself, like, like, he's in a voiceover booth. But like, he's going a bit mad.

So like, after everything, he says, ah, birds. And the guy says, hey, Dave, Davey, I'm so sorry. You said birds at the end, ah, right, okay. Baboon, birds. Oh, okay. And we're like, you see him losing his mind, so.

But then you hear him as well, like talking to himself, saying, I wish the earth would die. I wish all the earth would die. I wish all the animals would die. Dave, you know that might see the microphones up, right? That's a hot mic, Dave. That's a hot mic. So yeah, let's have microphones, potatoes.

Also, like carrots, I like carrots. Yeah. Like I like to parboil for some reason. And again, this seems like abuse. But if we have big carrots, they're called Dutchman's Dicks in our house. So, you know, because now it seems weird, like having my kids eat a Dutchman's dick. That seems weird. That seems really weird now.

When did you start calling them just six? Oh, fairly recently, I mean like five. This is something that's been with me forever. Yeah, but like peeled, parboiled in beef stock and then roasted in butter. Oh, so good. Really nice. Um, thank you, Holland. That's yeah, thanks Holland. If nothing else, thank you, Holland.

I mean, I you, Holland. I mean, I understand why it's their moment. They're orange and they look like it. I could dip, but like, well, when you do something QED, you're so enough. I was pressed to her in Holland for a film I did and I already roomed service and when it arrived the door rang and I went to look through the look. What are they called? The Sp? The spy hole. People, people, people. I, I couldn't reach it because obviously Dutch people are so tall. It was like, it was like six inches away. I was like, this is ridiculous. I had to get a thing. I should have just opened a door, but it was room service. I thought you were going to say, because we were talking about decks. Yeah. I thought you said you couldn't reach the pot spy hole because you had a boner. I couldn't

reach the glory hole. I thought it was like, you a boner and a boner hit the door and then you couldn't get your face at the spy hole because your dick was pushing you away from the door. I would say that absolutely no one else thought that. That's what it was much. That's what I thought. I mean, the dick hotels, your dick has a spy hole too. The dick hit the door first. So your dick can see whether or not room service is all right.

So Nick couldn't get his face to the door because the dick was pushing him away. You have a flashlight menu as well for room service. So you're dick and see if your flashlight is all right. Yeah. That's what I imagined. The world with the PC radio for. So we got those delicious carrots, Michael came potatoes, amazing crackling, pork belly. Gravy as well.

Sorry, I guess I love it. Gravy is one of those things that it's like people think you're a wizard when you're a win. Because also it's really easy, essentially, right? I mean, can you take a surrogate? Because I think I try something different every time and it never really works. Okay, I do the kind of same thing. It depends what, but it's like whatever meat I'm cooking, it's a trivita veg in the pan

that I'm going to cook the meat. So if it's like lamb, it's lots of leeks, chopped leeks, chopped onion, carrots, I never put thyme or anything like that. And I'm just salt and pepper. And then, you know, if you're going to cook it for a long time, all that just starts to break down and roast. And then I usually put in like a liter of stock into that while it's cooking, then everything that comes out from the meat.

And then once the meat's resting, God, I sound boring. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no heat up, start roasting and frying that veg again, flour, and then all the juice back in and then just reduce it to fuck. So no wine or anything like that? No, I don't, I mean, I have used, I do use it a bit, but I just generally not. Yeah. My old man used to use when he used to make gravy, like a can of mackuons, like red and black mackuons, beer is it beer? Beer, I was always remembering, sticking a whole can in gravy, isn't it?

It's tasting like shit. So, I don't, I mean, I sometimes if I do like, like a proper old authentic ragu, with like three meats that I've spent two hours cutting down by hand, maybe I'll stick a bottle of red in and other than that, I just, I tend to not. That's my favourite way of cooking though, I think. Ah, it's great, right? Doing quite a lot in the in the morning or whatever and getting all that ready, then getting it in the oven. And then just hours lately, you just forget about it and then

just smelling, oh, but what I'm magical here, it's just like you feel kind of heroic, right? I mean, I just kind of love that about cooking is it is like where science and art live, and you just stick a load of stuff in and leave it for ages. And it's just a comes out and it's amazing. It's making me want to cook. I mean, but all the way through the lockdowns, I was cooking quite a lot. And I've really fallen out of it again. I'm just like, yeah, not finding time for it anymore. This chat's really making me miss it. What would you cook? What would you cook? What are you missing cooking? There are a few different things. Trisha Broccoli Pasteur. I talked about that enough on the podcast, but that was great. Cashew Chicken. It was making that at home quite a bit. This Thai soup

that like my mum taught me to do. So I started in Thai noodle soup. I started that home quite a bit. This Thai soup that like my mum taught me to do, so I started in Thai noodle soup, started doing that quite a bit. A whole bunch of roasts as well as soon as I was doing roasts for the first time. This was a roast is difficult. Yeah, right. I mean technically it's a lot happening.

Timing wise and yeah. I love a style and a new note and like putting my in the oven times and out the other times of rest times. I was like, I'm always amazed to how technically challenging a full English is. You know what, let's go have a full English. It's like, there's a lot of fucking going on in that. A lot of things you have to, it's often like having people stay in over the house or come over and break through and think, how I do in a full English. It's like

fucking that. Even toast turns into a difficult element. Because you're like, when am I doing the toast? I've only got two slots. Yeah. I can't serve hot toast to eight people with a two slot toast for people. It's got squires and we'll all have a nine item breakfast. Yeah.

Is it an NPL service for those students that you've got? Well, I guess one of the elements was going to be my, I'd say apple sauce as well, sorry. But one of my, well, I'd have a side dish was going to be a cheesy leak grata. That's my side. It's the one I make kind of and it just feels so tasty and naughty and it just goes with everything else, you know, and just that final, you got a bit of Yorkshire put in and you just fucking mopping it up, you know? I love it.

When that cheese sauce mixes with gravy, it's that be good. Yeah, yeah. It's a whole new dish. Yeah, yeah. I like making it. It's really, this is the kind of domestic chef coming out, but like I can make it, I am when I get up

and just cover it in cling film and leave it in the fridge. Yeah. And I kind of like, I like I can make it 8 a.m. when I get up and just cover it in cling film and leave it in the fridge. And I kind of like I like that. You know, free cooking loads of stuff you could do that with desserts too. And then, and then you can tidy up while you're, while you're waiting, you know, have a clean before we move on. I think because it's your own recipe, the listeners would love to hear your cheese, league gratin just a step by step. Oh, okay, so like, depending on how many people, nice, see, I used to do like ring, like slices of leek, but I didn't like the way it looks. So what I've done is I've turned them

and I'm cutting them on the slant. So you're getting big kind of, you know, fillets of leek. Yeah. So, you know, let's say four big leeks, loads of butter, fried down, not for long. I mean, there's still bright green, salt and pepper, leave it to one side,

then in a little saucepan, flour, butter, milk. So we're making a roux, a bachamel, salt and pepper, and then just tons of great cheese. Yeah. I've done like two or three different cheeses, but I kind of just like really strong, some kind of cave aged cheddar with those little crispy with a little crunchy, little crunchy crystals in.

And then just pop it on top. I've got like a really nice terracotta clay Spanish dish that I was using. And it's starting to age really nicely. That goes on top and then parmesan on top of that. And then usually it's about 45 minutes in a hot oven. And it finished, I kind of always, because my ovens, I bought a shit oven.

I had a shit oven that was in the house when I bought it. And it broke down. So then I just bought a quick oven. And I'm getting to eat grips with it. But it's not great at all. I kind of follow a company, I think they're American, but they're called Heston, and they do ovens. It's just like, wow, this is amazing.

You just look at pictures of the ovens. Yeah, the ovens are just so powerful. They're amazing, but I had a kitchen built in a house that I bought, and then it costs so much money, and it's a company that make kitchens in restaurants came and built a restaurant kitchen in my dream. I had an extractor fan,

which you could like release piece of A4 paper like a meter from it. It would just drift up into the fan. Wow. It was amazing. And I've always yearned for that again. I had to sell the house like literally three weeks after I'd finished after I'd finished it. And I couldn't move the kitchen out. So it just had to stay there annoyingly. And I see the guy sometimes who bought the house, he's like,

the kitchen's still in the good. But I long for that. I have an extractor fan now that it's kind of defying science where I've had three separate people come around and they've always said something different as to why it doesn't work. So I think my dream kitchen would have a massive extractor. Yeah, like an airlock. Oh, yeah. I've had a couple of houses now where I'm mission impossible. The one that I've got down.

I don't extractor put on the sign of a house and it was so big that the council said, you have to, you have to, next door, I have to say it's all right. Let's do all right, that in the end. Yeah. It was just like a powerful engine that extracted a lot of smoke. But now I'm not, I mean, I guess it's a analogy for my own success and fame. I'm just not, you know, at the heyday of my career, I was getting extractive and big powerful extractors, you know, left right and centre, but now it career, I was getting extractive hands. Big powerful extractors,

you know, left-right incentive, but now it's, I have to stand outside and grill on a thing that I don't like. The analogy fell apart a little bit. I was working on sadness about your career. That's so too, this is it. Your dream drink. It's okay. It's, I'm going to say Coke Zero. That's what I'm loving. And I've loved it for a long time now. But the last six months or so, I've had my head turned by Fanta Zero. Right.

Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just, I haven't had one can of that yet. Where I haven't finished it and I've gone like Every time it's just really nice really orangey and doesn't taste like chemicals and yeah, I like it a lot So I'm gonna say that. I don't think I've had one of those for a while actually. I've only had phantasyro from the five guys machine, where you get to do your own little menu. Yes, right.

And I go super boring on it. I go for the zero, no bubbles, great flavor, and have that at five guys. I don't know, it's boring, great flavor. So the grape is a curve. Yeah, those machines trip me out sometimes. There's too much going on. Yeah, it's a lot. Yeah, there's trip me out sometimes. There's too much going on. Yeah, it's a lot.

Yeah, there's too many options. Too many options. What worked in in a bar where you you have like a machine. The tap. Yeah, that's fun. That was good. I struggled because I'm type one diabetic. If I go to a pub and I'm I ask for a Diet Coke, I now know exactly where the Diet Coke button is on the tap. I have to watch the master the right button. You think secretly they're thinking, I don't fuck this guy. Yeah, I want to fuck it. Or they just don't, like, I think there's loads of people who go die coat, they just do whatever. Yes, right. But I can see when that, if they're hitting the wrong button, I go, no, sorry, can I, can I get a die coat? And I've had people go, this is a die coat. No, you're hitting the red button. You're hitting top left. Coge origin. That's good. You got them. Checkmate.

Best fan I've ever had. you got them. Checkmate. Best fan I've ever had. Canyon Fanta, I still crave it. I have a factory there, right? Do they? I think Fanta have a factory in Kenya. Tose differently in Kenya. Tose, it was like this burnt, dusty flavour to it. It had something I can't even, I can't summarise. It was fresh from the factory. It was like hot spicy. There was something different about those Fanta.

Doesn't sound like you had Fanta. It was had fan. It was a different shade of orange. It was fan. It's something you had soup. It was like carrot and coriander and a bubble. With bread and stuff. You don't get bread here in British fantasies. That's weird. Bread here in Britain. That's weird. Nothing like Hawaii or in the Polynesia way, a kind of merely white bread and just pour fatter on it. That's actually a reality.

Yeah, I think it's in Hawaii or Polynesia, somewhere like that, that's like a course. Love spam in Hawaii as well, right? Spams a big spam place. Big spam nation. Capitalist spam. They say, so they went, right? Big spam, big spam place. Big spam nation, capital of spam. Yeah. They say, so they went there right when you arrived, they put a big, big spam around.

A big spam around. Yeah. The pollination resort, Disney of course, Anita, bit of into eat there, a very disappointed meal. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. It's really big up.

Everyone was like, you got a hariner, so good. And it was very disappointing. There was a pineapple bread there. The everyone's several bring tears to your eyes. And it was, it got a hariner, so good. And it was very disappointing. There was a pineapple bread there. The everyone said, we'll bring tears to your eyes. And it was, it was, it was, it was, that's the Edgar thing, though, because you got big up so much people you will know. Maybe, maybe that was what it was,

but I was very disappointed in it. Sorry, it didn't really live up to him. I loved Disney. Right, right, right. Recently, it's a recent thing. Oh, for real? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a recent thing I've got,

getting into going to Disney World. This was not a cry for help. Yeah, yeah. Well's a basic thing. I'm getting into going to Disney World. This is not a cry for help. Yeah. Oh, great. Oh, great. It's a cry for help. Come on.

Dream dessert. We arrive at your dream dessert. I am going to have a heavily crumbled apple crumble. How heavy is this crumble? Inch and a half? Nice. Two inches? Maybe. So you're digging for the apple?

Yeah. Yeah. The kids asked for it last weekend, which was, I was like, yeah. Well, yeah, we can have apple crumble. Because they haven't really tried it, but we were talking about it. We went on an holiday and we started talking about it. And they remembered it and asked for it, so we made it. And they loved it.

It was great. But like a really, really lovely big bits of juicy apple, but just caramelized and with cinnamon and sugar and butter and then like a heavy crumble on top. It's, it's rare you see a heavy crumble on top. It's so often, you see an apple crumble and you can almost see a bit of apple through the top of the crumble. This is not apple crumble, this is apple. Yeah, this is apple with dandruff. Yeah, yeah, I like a heavily Cuz a crumble is just actually just like a biscuit, right? Yeah, I want like and it's cake and sometimes it's brown a bit on top And then a bit cakey as well. Yeah, and then you get those like little lava tubes of Molten caramel that just clipper away as you cook. Oh, yeah, it's the apples popping up to say hello, but yeah

It's not even an easy job of it. I'm going to serve it with ice cream. Yeah. On the side. Sure. I don't want it like melting in. I don't like that. Uh-huh.

So you like, you're getting a spoonful of your crumble and then you put the spoon in the ice cream and eat it. Or how are you doing this? Are you literally putting it in your bubble? Yeah, I'd probably eat it separately. Then towards the end, I'd probably, separately, then toward the end, I'd probably put the ice cream then in the, and then just get all the little bits of crumble

and caramel-y apple. So there's so many crumbles of, you know, seasonable. I think we're gonna do a peach crumble this weekend. You're all nice. He's in tin peaches. So something about that kind of cheap shitting us that I like. Cola. I like? Yeah. Cola.

I like cola as well. One of our previous guests, Ani and Magliano, for her dessert picked a sort of crumble pick and mix situation. Oh, right. Okay. A series of different crumbles. Nothing can write in saying that. Crumble, Zada.

Yeah. Like a crumble, Zada. Yeah. I don't think that could. But you can have anything, right? I mean, yeah. You could do a savory crumble as well. Yeah.

Yeah. I guess you could. I mean, I've often, yeah, you could do a savory crumble as well. Yeah, I guess you could. I mean, I've often, often I have put like a crumble topping on a grat-an before. That's kind of a new, they call it in a restaurant, like a different mouth feel. Yeah, mouth feels a big word these days. It is a big, yeah. People love saying mouth feel.

I mean, what did we say before the word mouth feel? Just, just didn't talk about the right. And in mouth experience. Yeah. That was a. In mouth experience. That was a great in mouth experience. Obviously, I remembered my brain had completely put this out. I just had. You really shut down.

Yeah, you felt it right? You just went somewhere. We say, we crumbled. And in my brain just remembered, it was collectively, my mother and my sisters, least favorite meal that we had as kids. And it would do the rounds every other month or so was piled should crumble. Wow. And I'm just remembered in.

And my God. How you never brought this up? It's like 200 episodes of it. My brain had just completely put it out. And no one said savoring crumble on the podcast before. And as soon as we got bought up, I was like, oh, fuck, we used to openly complain about it. How often soon as we got bought up, I was like, oh, fuck, like we used to openly complain about how often did you have say, it's a cool thing.

I'd say, yeah, like every other month, it would come up at some point. It's still six times a year. Yeah, we'd be like, we just didn't want, we were so like, I see some questions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, the pictures in like a tomato sauce. Yes. Okay. Fine.

Yeah, tomato sauce with the pictures in like a tomato sauce. Yes. Okay. Fine. Yeah. Tomatoy sauce with the pelchids in. What was the crumble like? Bread crumbs and parmesan and parsley or dry. Yeah. Well, I dried pelchids. Oh, yeah. I mean, I didn't know what was in the crumble, but the crumble was, I guess, pretty thin, but not like, it wasn't dandruff, but it was like, you know, I mean,

my mum will be listening to this. She listens to every episode. She's brilliant at cooking. like, you know, I mean, I look, my mum will be listening to this, she listens to every episode, she's brilliant at cooking and, you know, she was having to bring up three kids and stuff. So no shade on my mum, but I'd forgotten about that pill. I'm happy to step in and throw some shade on you. Yeah, of course you always do. What? What was served with that? Unacceptable.

It would be some kind of like green beans or like some on the side some sort of green veg. Oh, so at least you could enjoy the side. His answer happened for that. Not all that. It got to be it was funny as well. So she would find it funny. Yes.

My memory of it was like, how much we hated the Pilcher crumble was a joke to her by the end. It was like, it's pretty funny that we were getting this thing that we had it. And we would then lean into it as well. So we could really complain about the Pilgrimage of Crumble. Were you ever hit for eating it? No, no, I never hit for night.

Because we would eat it. Right. Because we were so motivated by dessert. And we never knew what the dessert was. That's nice. You would only get dessert if you'd finish your main course. So we would always finish our main course. Yes. because it could

be anything to deserve. Was there a desert? Yeah. Was there a dessert that your mom did that you didn't look forward to that would be the worst day ever? It was a piltrum example followed by the worst day ever would have been a piltrum crumble followed by just natural yoga and raisins. Oh my god. And then I would be, I'll be devastated. Oh, packing a little bag. I'll be devastated. Backing a little back. I'd be absolutely, yeah, doing the whole kid thing of going, I'm not leaving, I'm running away from home, faking it out.

Natural yogurt was raisins. Yeah, that was, that was tough guys. Well yours, your cup was, that was delicious. Yeah, it's nice a crumb, boys. I mean, there's a thing too, it's nice for my brain wear. It's like, okay, so the dinner's on the table. Oh, I'll put it in straight away then. I'll put it in then because then meals not going to take longer than 45 minutes to eat, a roast, you know, and then you can take it out. I was let sit

for a while. No one wants to eat molten crumble. Yeah, well, it's bubbling away in that bowl. I mean, it's full of errands and everything. Yeah, and we sit and we just let it, once you can't hear the flips, let me dig in. The flips. Wait, you can't hear the thing. Yeah, and we sit and we just let it once you can't hear the flips. And we dig in the flips. Might you can't hear the flips? Can you hear any more flips? No, it's going to be the flips. Let's go. I'm going to read your menu back to you now.

Okay. How you feel about it? Water you want to spark in water with a loose skinned Japanese line. Poppons are bred. You want bread from the yellow house with salted butter, starter, meat fruit from dinner by Heston, main course, slow roast belly of pork, bubbly crackling, roast potatoes, Dutchman's Dicks, gravy, apple sauce, yorks you're putting. Side dish, cheesy league ratan, your own recipe. Fanta zero is your drink and dessert heavily crumbled, apple crumble with ice cream on the side.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, right? Sounds good. Yeah. And after all that, there's a knock at the door, and it's the American director. Oh, hey, hey Bob. Bob. You're really late.

I did it a flip briefly with dessert being like a cake, like a piece of cake. It felt weird to me, really? Yeah, right. I mean, I'm not, I'm never sure. Cake may be. Maybe once we all move into the, you know, the front room, drift through, then like a nice, you know,

a piece of cake, which is heavily iced with a hot cup of tea. What sort of cake? What sort of cake? You know, like, Billy Christmas cake. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that kind of thing. Yeah, that's great. Fiddle wedding cake.

Wedding cake. Wedding cake. Yeah. Who's wedding doing that? Ah, Fadden, I was just, just to eat. P it. Yeah, I'm just going to be a fan of it. Yeah, I'm just going to be a fan of it. Yeah, I'm just going to be a fan of it. Yeah, I'm just going to be a fan of it. Yeah, I'm just going to be a fan of it. Yeah, I'm just going to be a fan of it.

Yeah, I'm just going to be a fan of it. Yeah, I'm just going to be a fan of it. Yeah, I'm just going to be a fan of it. Yeah, I'm just going to be a fan of it. Yeah, I'm just going to be a fan of it. Yeah, I'm just going to be a fan of it. Yeah, I'm just going to be a fan of it. Yeah, I'm just going to be a fan of it. Yeah, I'm just going to be a fan of it. She's a veggie, so we argue about the menu. And it's got a dick on the top. It's got a dick. It's got a dick on the top.

Come on. Yeah, that didn't like a dick on the top. A bride and a dick. Nick, thank you so much for coming to the Dream Restaurant. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. Okay. Well, there we are.

The off menu menu of Nick Frost. Delicious. Delicious. Fantastic to have Nick in the studio. A lovely chat. Make sure you go and buy Nick's book A Slice of Fried Gold. It sounds fantastic. I can't wait to read it. And that is published on the 28th of September by Bonnier. I mean, I feel like YouTube could have bonded for the rest of the day. Yes. So much in common. Yes. You know, I mean, I feel like you two could have bonded for the rest of the day. Yes. So much in common. Yes. Um, you know, I'm actually love cooking and when we're coming out, he recognized who

had done your tattoos as well. He's had, he's had tattoos from the same person. I was like, God, these guys, it's the same. I mean, I'm lucky if I don't get replaced on this pod by Nick Foss. I want to go to his house for, for Sunday lunch so much. Yeah. Of course you do. Who can blame you? Sounds delicious. And also, as a bit in the episode there, I got a bit nervous because he said

about going to Nome and they made him mini-cornet. I was like, are we going to have to work that? But he didn't. So we didn't have to come out. If you kicked him out, I would have left as well. Yeah, you would have left with him. I would have had to host this with Benito, you know, famously, heates me. So it would have been quite awkward. But, um, but yeah, I mean, again, pick on it. So we don't have to pick picnic frost out the dream. I mean, here's how similar we are. I've written a book about food as well, James. You have?

Yes. We found it. Frost has written a slice of fried gold. Yeah. I knew for any grumbles ready to crumble. I mean, it's too late to change the title to that now. My book is called Glatten, The Multicorcelife of a Very Gritty Boy, and that is available to pre-order now. It's out in October. It's going to be great. It's going to be a great book. I'm very

proud of you for writing. James is very looking forward to it. I'm very looking forward to it, and it's going to be a great book. Thank you. Do you want to sign to copy James? Yes. Okay, you've got to order it from Waterstones. Okay, well, I'll do it for Waterstones Do you want to sign to copy James? Yes. Okay, you got to order it from Waterstones. Oh, okay. Well, I'll do it from Waterstones if I want to sign. Yes, please. Yes. Thank you. Great. What else are we talking about?

Please send us free chocolates. I've just got in today to the close-up offices and Benito was like, there's just free stuff that's come for you and it's all beer. Yeah, and I don't want it and I'm leaving it here. It looks nice though. But I was, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it looks great. Who's got beer for you and it's all beer. Yeah, I don't want it and I'm leaving it here. It looks nice though. But I was, yeah, yeah, it looks great. Who have we got beer from, Benito? Two tribes beer.

Thank you for sending us beer. Thank you, thank you. But James, this is what happens when you become a slab like James. Is that you start to take things for granted. Yes. We've got some lovely beer from two tribes. Yes. And James is looking at it going, why is that not chocolate?

I was wanting chocolate today. I was in the move of chocolate. Yeah, I did actually go into the office and say, has anyone sent us any little chockeys? Yeah, someone should tell two tribes. It's midday here. What do they want me to do? They can't guarantee what time it is when you see the things.

Well, they should take that into account. They should think about that. Well, it looks delicious. Thank you. Yeah, it does. Trackloments also sent in some lovely condiments, James. Why don't you tuck into those? Because they're not chocolate.

I want chocolate today. I'm not going to eat condiments. Well, they look lovely condiments. I may as well be pulled out. I'm not eating those. Yeah, you want dry chocolate? Yeah, yeah. I want dry chocolate.

I'm not in the mood for condiments. So they look a little like great condiments. And I'm very grateful for the fun the fact that we have been sent some little chockies because we're only in here occasionally these days. I think the people who work very hard at places in the offices have snuffled those little chockies into their times. Or if you listen to this, Billy, you're fired. No, no, me, you fired. You're fired. Megan's new. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, he's going to record the podcast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast.

Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast.

Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast.

Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. Toast. To'll see you again sometime soon. Goodbye. Goodbye. Hello, my name is Ian Smith. I'm Amy Gletto. And we are from the Northern News Podcast. Where we take a deep dive into the bizarre stories we find from the North. Hey, and if you like food,

and I know you like food, actually, because you listen into off menu. We've got stories about pigs getting cooked, stuff round about with crisps. We've got stories about gravy retling and carparks. We've got stories about restaurants getting one star food hygiene retains. And record breaking yawks or puddings. And we've got stories about restaurants getting one star food hygiene ratings and record breaking York's a puddings

And we got special guests which you may remember from off menu episodes such as Mazy Adam Tim Key Rosie Jones Fatter herl gory Phil Wang and he hasn't been on off menu But we got Kevin Kennedy who played curly-wats in Coronation Street take that a cast So please, give a listen to the Northern News Podcast. Every Thursday wherever you get your podcasts. BELL RINGS