Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 210: Paapa Essiedu

Episode Date: October 18, 2023

Emmy and Bafta-award nominated actor Paapa Essiedu joins us in the Dream Restaurant this week. Hope he doesn’t eat too much, or it may destroy him. Trigger warning: this episode contains talk about vomiting from eating. Series 2 of ‘The Lazarus Project’ is coming soon to Sky Max.Follow Paapa on Instagram @pessiedu and Twitter @paapaessieduRecorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Off-Menu Podcast, squeezing the pods of the internet, popping out the Edimame beans of humor, gobbling them down in an act of friendship. And that's the off-man you pod podcast. So you pod edamame pods not making the fruit salad anymore. Not today. That's a gabble. My name is James A. Castor. We had a dream restaurant. Every week we invite in a different guest. We ask them the favor ever start a main course. There's a side dish and drink not in that order. And this week I guess is Papa. See do Papa. See do a wonderful actor. He's been in so much brilliant stuff. I'm excited. And what a what a hit rate this guy's got. It's been hit after hit after hit. So many things. And also let's not forget the Lazarus

project. Yes, the Lazarus project is of course coming back for a series two. Very excited. Yeah, time loop, baby. Time loop. Maybe we should put the introduction at the end of the podcast today because we'll time loop in it. Yes. Well, we should keep it here and then put it at the end as well.

Yeah, that's up to Benito. Yeah. I guess it has to be a time loop, Benito. You don't loop it. Yeah. So can you loop a pod? Yeah. So we're has to be a time loop, and it's a new loop it. Yeah. So can you loop a pod? Yeah. So we're going to loop this episode. So we looped forever time loop. If you want to listen to it forever. Yeah. Bad luck. You're not going to be able to listen to any other podcast because it's going to be looped. Yeah. That's it. Now, but listen, I hope that this doesn't get looped

over and over again. I hope we don't have to kick pop it out. And then that's the actual like episode over and over. And you've got to you can kick it out over and over again. Because he will get kicked out. If he picks a secret ingredient on which we have pre-decided and this week the secret ingredient is sachets of pepper. sachets of pepper. Now, not anything I've ever considered to be an issue. Not anything I've ever thought was an issue to be honest, Sash is a pepper, but I guess like the really ground black pepper, not particularly pleasant for me, but this means it's like to buy a listener, James. And who's a listener? Leo Watkins.

Leo Watkins. I mean, I get it. I don't think I've ever used a Sash a pepper because why would you? What would you need it for? Well, if you're like a service station or something, or what for, what you need to pepper up in the service station. Whatever you want. If this is something bland, you want to pepper it up. Maybe a pretz among J.

Yeah. Pepper. You put some pepper on the pret. Pepper on the pretz? I don't know about that, but, well, no, look, they sell like, you know, so I'll often have breakfast from a pret and it'll be like, they'll be like an egg based thing. I'm peppering that up and you know, I'll have a bit of pepper on my egg, I'll sing the song.

Gone. I've told you about this before, surely. Once a university was having breakfast with some friends and our friend Tom Neenan heard me very quietly and this, so it was for no one else, it was just for me when I was putting pepper on my egg going, a little bit of pepper on my egg. That was good. To the tune of Maman number five. That's very good. So I always sing that one, I put pepper on my egg. Yeah. If I love something, I'll sing the Suzy Kuala Toshon, I love rock and roll, but about whatever the thing is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll still, the next

line will always be supporting of a dime in the shipbox, but in about what it is. So, yeah. So, yeah. I love pepper, yeah. Support another dime in the two bucks, baby. Yeah. For example.

So, hopefully, Papa's not going to say that. Yeah. You know, I mean, there's also never enough pepper in there. I'd say the little sashay. Yeah. You need to, we need one and a half, that's the issue. Yeah, yeah. All right, well, thanks, Leo Watkins.

Thank you to Papa, to CIDU. Very excited to hear what his menu is going to be. This is the off menu of Papa CIDU. PAPER CIDU. Welcome, Papa, to the Dream Restaurant. Thank you. Well, Papa CIDU, to the Dream Restaurant. Thank you. Well, Papa, see you do the Dream Restaurant, but it's better to give it some time. You're waiting for that. I was waiting for that.

I wasn't going to speak before I got out of that. You were going to speak before I got out of that. It's a very polite way of dealing with the Jeanne, just knowing he's on his way. Should I be interrupting the Jeanne or should the Jeanne be leading me? You do what you want. This is your dream restaurant. Yeah, I'll follow your lead depending on thing. Okay, I'll let the journey go first.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But did it look good when I first out the lamp? The lamp is shattered now. Yeah, yeah. So I don't know what you're going to do next week. Oh, it's going to be this is the final episode. It's finally happened. The journey shattered the lamp.

That's it. I'm free. I think this is the last meal. Yeah, I mean, you're not dressed as I would expect a genie to be dressed. Oh, yeah. What were you picturing? You know, those kind of shoes that kind of go up at the front. The curly shoes. Yeah, the curly shoes. Yeah. The turban. Yeah, probably culturally inappropriate. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, we've talked, I mean, yeah, genies, there's some egginess around the presentation of genies, I guess. Yeah, yeah, there is. Yeah, yeah, we've talked, I mean, yeah, Genie's the sum-egginess around the presentation of Genie's, I guess. Yeah, yeah, there is, yeah, yeah. You know, I mean, we're trying to deal with it in the Genie community. Yeah, we know that we know that we've got to move at the times.

So, so, Barf, we're doing all right. This is the Genie that I want to see. This is what is coming to you. I feel very, very comfortable with this version of a Genie. Yeah, yeah. See, it's like, you know, modern journey. Yeah. So it's like, okay, are you a foodie, would you say?

I mean, you're wearing a, for the list of those can't see it, but you're wearing like a T-shirt with a drink on it over a cocktail. A happy cocktail with the face. They're happy in the groin, eh? Yeah. Am I a foodie? I enjoy food, but I also, I'm very picky with foods. I've

got a long list of foods that I don't like. Does that mean that I'm not foodie? No, I don't know. So, in fact, I think if you know that there's things that you don't like and you know what you really do like, that probably does qualify to you as a foodie, I'd say, depending on how long this list is actually. The list is extensive. Should we reel some off now? Get them out of the way? Yeah, has it always been this way? Or along your life? I should go on and do you add more and more things to this list?

I kind of think that my list of accepted foods kind of adore way into the room shut at the age of about six or seven years old. So I've got what can only be described as a juvenile type. Right, okay. What are the big ones that if that's the menu there's absolutely no way you're eating that? I'm not going anywhere near olives. I'm going nowhere near almost every type of cheese. I don't want to see a mushroom. You don't want to see it,

I don't even want to see it. In fact, I particularly don't want to see it, and I don't eat it. I don't want, Yeah, I in fact, I particularly don't see it. Yeah, and I don't eat it. I don't want. I'm not I'm not mad on cucumbers. Right. Yeah, not crazy for capers I don't like raisins Or any kind of like fruit in a dessert. Yeah. Do you not mean? I think those things should be kept very separate. But yeah, that's the top list, but there's a lot behind that. Fruit in dessert. Yeah.

Fruit in a set, I'm not sure. That's interesting. Yeah, a lot of people would hate fruit in a savory dish, but you're like, no way in a dessert, you can't have it. No, I don't want to. You don't want to have apple pie. No, I don't want apple pie. I don't want like an eating mess. I don't want like a blueberry cheesecake.

I was pushing the blueberry cheesecake. I'll just make you, because it's, that isn't taste like cheese, but does that put you off? I know. You can read. I know. And now it's going on there. I love the idea of you saying that to your waiter, going, you know, I can read, right? it's going on there. I love the idea. I can't hide it. I'm going to say that to our waiter, going, you know, I can read right?

There's Jesus there. I've not eaten that. Not my idea. So maybe I'm not a video, I don't know, but I do like food. I love to feed that I like. Yeah, sure. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. I really, really hate the ones that I don't. This is menus going to be the same day show over and over again.

Basically. Basically. Basically for say to this. Yeah. The last was project season two, which we should talk about before we get this menu is going to be the same dish over and over again. Basically. What do you mean? Basically for Tata's. Yeah. The last was Project Season 2, which we should talk about before we get into the menu, because it's very exciting. Now, look, I've never done a Season 2 event.

Neurify, actually. Really? It's the first time. So was that new for you going back on the saying? We're like, it's ever would again. Yeah, it was, that was actually quite nice seeing everyone again. Bella was last was to be a question. If you never done a season two of something, nothing's ever been

recommissioned. Really? I'm not lying. So this is huge. This is huge for you. Yeah, it was big. It's quite funny. Like I've never done the season two and neither is Joe Biden who wrote it. It was amazing right.

Oh, wrote things like Gary hadian and he himself says that he's notorious for getting the shows cancelled. So we were both in online territory, we were all in online territory but it was nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's been good if this show had got cancelled and then you got a season two, it would have been very fitting. If it got, um, Lazarus. Yeah, oh yeah, it's true. Come back from the day it's pretty good. Yeah, it's pretty good actually. If you could plug in and look at Laugh for the plores after, pretty good. Yeah, it's pretty good actually. And if you could like plug in and look at laugh or the applause after I said that. Well, it wasn't, it's not a laugh, it's more of a thing.

Yeah, more of a thing. No, a more of a. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It was right there, couldn't it? Okay, resist it. I love time-leap stuff, but I often find,

I will watch it and absolutely, have absolutely no idea what's going on quite often. But that's what I like. I like being outfoxed. You like being confused? I like being confused, yeah, and then like doing some research into it and working out what's happened. Do you just get ahead of it now? If you're watching something there's time loop, so you're like, I know what's going on. Well, I mean, I'm kind of leaning into it because I also get confused watching and doing time loop shows, you know. So like, I spend a lot of my time when we're shooting being I kind of lean into it because I also get confused watching and doing time-loop shows. So I spend a lot of my time when we're shooting, being like, where are we?

Has it happened? You'd expect there to be a greater level of control exerted over performance in the creative process, but I last we are. I mean, more so than we're struggling at it. Because I guess you're shooting everything out of order anyway. Absolutely. It's probably even more confusing. Yeah, yeah.

So you've got to lean into the chaos. Yeah. Don't come to me asking for a question. To be honest, Are you allowed to say anything about what people could expect from this? Or is it all people's hash hash? Yeah, no spoilers. I suppose it kind of picks up immediately after the first season ends.

Oh, I don't know what I'm allowed to say. Should I just say more of the same? I'm just starting to inspire myself. Everything's so spoiler free these days. And actually, I think if you really want to get me to watch something, just go, look, there's a scene in it where we fight a massive thing and it kills everybody. Basically, everyone dies in this series. Then that get me to watch it. That'd be way more than it'll leap up my priorities because that's what that gets you to watch it. Except for anything else now, it's just like

you'll have to wait and see. And then you watch it. The trailers now just spoil loads of stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Well, they trick your trailers a lot of the time. Today? Yeah. There's loads of like Marvel trailers and stuff where they like CGI someone out of the frames of them not in there or they replace a light or they show in a different context. So everyone thinks it's about something else and then you watch it and it's like, no, there was just a trick. They changed it.

They're mugging the socks. They're making mugs of you. Yeah. And we shouldn't have here. But yeah, more the same. More the same. That would be a great trailer. Just you click play it, it just takes more of the time. Still of sparkling water. Absolutely still water.

Yeah. My conversation about it. Move on next. Was this another tip you got made when you were six? Yeah, I mean, I think the thing about sparkling water that I've always found disappointing is it's got the texture of phanta or of lilt, but nothing else. Yeah, hasn't got the flavor, hasn't got the exhilaration, hasn't got the dopamine here. Yeah. And to be honest, like being honest, I really love water.

Yeah. I'm not here for water in like a huge way. I'm not one of those people who's gasping for this, And to be honest, like being honest, I really love water. Yeah. I'm not here for water in a huge way. I'm not one of those people who's gasping for this, this, this, this glass of water in front of me is probably going to remain undrunk for the whole thing. But I, like, I look at water and I was like, I'm like, that would be so much better if it was juice or maybe so much better if it was beer.

But like necessity dictates that I've got to drink it. So if I'm going to drink it, keep it as plain and easily drinkable as possible, get it down you. I mean, I don't want to be sipping it. I don't want to be thinking about it. I just want it to be then then gone. Glock it. Would you glock it? It's downed. Yeah. What is a glock? Gone. Well, I guess downing is within the, it comes under the umbrella of glugging or glugging comes under the umbrella of downing, right? Well, if you down it and what, that's not glugging it. But glugging is like, to me, it's a little thing, isn't it?

Yeah, like a big sip that is so big that it makes a sound when you push it down your neck. So is the sound coming out of your mouth or through? I think it's through. I think it's through the throat. Yeah. I've been glugging. Yeah, you've been glugging. You've been The throat. Yeah. I've been glugging.

Yeah, you've been glugging. Because like, what are you sipping? I mean, I'm a glugger. You're a glugger. Yeah, even in, you know, even in company, even in, you know, isn't it a big sips? No, James gave me the nickname Big Sips

and I can't stress enough it's not taken off. No one calls me Big Sips locally. I take Big Sips though. Big, you do big sips though. You do take big sips. I do take big sips. It's an accurate nickname, but I do take big sips. Yeah, I always have. You watch him and it looks like he's taking a little sip and then he puts the glass back down half a bit's gone. It's amazing. Pommel of the overhead! Pommel of the bed, Puffer, see you do? Pommel of the overhead! I think bread. The thing about Puffodums is you've got all the company in condiments right here.

You've got that mango chutney, you've got those onions, you've got maybe a little bit chili sauce, nice. Poppod bread, like I think bread, warm bread, butter, a little bit of salt, a little bit of, I think it's a bit bad sometimes, I was like raspberry or something. Yeah, but it's like, it's a herbie stuff. Yeah, some herbie stuff, yeah. Garlic. I didn't expect you to like rosemary.

I mean, I set my stall out quite intensely to get into it, but like, rosemary is on the yes list. See now, because you said the door shut at six or seven, I'm imagining a six-year-old you absolutely loving rosemary. Yeah, just, I feel like a six year old you absolutely loving nature. Yeah, just, anyway, I feel like that for catcher. Yeah. So this is interesting. Here's an idea if you want to do this,

because you like the condiments that come with the poppodons. What about if we let you... Some of the condiments. Some of the condiments, of course. What if we let you have bread, and then you could put some of the poppodon condiments with it? I don't think we've ever done that before. No, I don't think we've ever done that before.

No. If we've not done that before, what's so like, mango chutney on bread? If you want. That sounds insane. It does actually. The most amazing thing you've ever said on the podcast. Bro Ranion on bread.

Yes, got a little cut. Yeah. On bread. Give me that. Yeah. And then shoot me in there. Sure. It's up to something we've ever done. Yeah, it gives up with the bread course shoot, but then...

My star's throwing a blanket to the bread, please. I can't imagine having the pop-on condiments with anything else. Mangotrowney. Well, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what cheese toast. It's delicious, right? I've had that. I mean, I just imagine it's ever if you've done that. No, I think I've done that. Wow. Yeah. What's it? You have to chutney on hand. Yeah, in a jar. Let's sell it in jars. You've got it in jars. Yeah, yeah, you can buy it in jars. Wonderful. Yeah, you got that home. Not right now. But you did have it. Well, I can't have cheese in that. I'll see you there. No, he loves cheese.

Opposite to you. Yeah. Oh no. I love cheese so much. And if I have it in the house, it just gets eaten in one sitting Oh, so you literally can't be in the presence of it. I can't be in the presence of it. I can't have it at home anyway. I have it when I go I do have to it's me. I used to I used to um I used to sell the cheese off my pizza and as it's cool. What? What? What do you mean what? That's it. That's it. It was short for what do you mean? So you you would sell the cheese off your pizza? Yeah, when there's a school dinner, you get what? You get like two slices of, I wouldn't say it was like high quality pizza, but it resembles

pizza at least. Knife under the cheese, cut it off. Yeah. Who wants some? I'm swapping it for what, three freddos. Yeah? I'm swapping it for what, three freddoes. Yeah. I'm swapping it for, like, my gums, I'm swapping it for, maybe even a cookie. Wow. So you're money. 50p. 50p for the cheese. Yeah. I mean, that is a good market for it. That's really good. 50p for the cheese. People love cheese, like, yeah, you

bring that. Yeah, I'd be absolutely snapping that cheese. You're bankrupt. Yeah. Who was buying the chip like, did you have a main customer who would always do it? Or were you different people every time? Good question. You know what? It goes to the highest bidder. Yeah.

Yeah. I think that you'd establish someone who they always want the cheese. Or you think someone would always be following me in the lunch queue and just say, you know, you'd have a mate who they would always get it from you. Someone who's got a real problem. Yeah, it's like, there you go. The standard. It's the part of the routine at lunch time. 50p.

Guess they're cheese. Yeah. No, it was, I was quite democratic with it, I would say. I would say like, I mean, there are probably more cheese lovers than cheese hates out there. So you've spread the love, don't you? Especially if it's pizza day, right? Yeah, but I mean, I suppose the sad thing is on the other side of that is then you have a there are probably more cheese lovers than cheese hates out there. So you've spread the love, don't you? Well, especially if it's pizza day, right? Yeah, but I mean, I suppose the sad thing is,

on the other side of that is, then you have a cheese as pizza. Bread's not high quality, the tomato sauce is not high quality. There's now no toppings. The toppings went with the cheese. Well, you put a freddo on yours. Yeah, yeah. The melting, very, very quick.

So you would just have tomato bread. Tomato bread, yeah. I'm saying it like I wasn't happy about it. Yeah, I was really happy. You know, I got a genuinely imagined being the kid who bought the extra cheese and got excited about the idea of putting an extra layer of cheese on top of my pizza. Cheese on cheese. Yeah.

Being like, oh yeah. This is the best day at school ever. It's exciting. Yeah. That's exciting for you. That's why I love pepperoni feast from pizza so much. Double, double pepperoni, double cheese. Is it? Yeah. I didn't know that. Didn't know that about the pizza. Pepperoni feast is double cheese. Yeah, yeah. Layer of pepperoni on the tomato, then cheese,

then pepperoni, then cheese, from memory. Well, then I would assume it would be tomato, cheese, pepperoni, cheese, pepperoni. That's what I would assume. That is better, actually. I'll just assume that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Mad to put the pepperoni. Yeah. It, cheese, pepperoni, cheese, pepperoni. That's what I would say. That is better actually. I'll just assume that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mad to put the pepperoni. It's like a pepperoni pizza. We've then another layer of cheese. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think you're both right. Why would you put the pepperoni on the bottom? That's absolutely crazy. But if you did, so let's say you went to the pizza hut. Yeah. And you got the pepperoni pizza. And there's two layers of cheese on there. Yeah.

Are you selling that for a quid? Or are you selling each layer separately? Well, first of all, I think what I'm, ideally gonna try and do, I'm trying to do pepperoni, pepperoni cheese cheese so that I get rid of the cheese and one-fell swoops with the, yeah, yeah, yeah. Still get the toppings.

Do you know what I mean? And then yeah, it's going for at least a pan. So you're gonna have a word with the kitchen before they make it. You're gonna say, can you please, please? Well, I. So you're going to have a word with the kitchen before they make it? You're going to say can you please do it? Well, I think all of us need to have a word with the kitchen to see what is the technique going on here. What's the deal?

But definitely, I'm trying to get a business out here. Yeah, and you tell Pizza Hut that you're trying to get a business going in the restaurant. I'm trying to profit. Yeah. What you're doing here. Oh, Pizza Hut, is that something? Yeah, can you still walk into a pizza hut?

I think you can. Can't when you can. Yeah, can't fit. Pizza hut on the roundabout. There's a roundabout in Can't when big roundabout. And if you go on it, there's a pub, there's pizza hut, there's nandos, some at Donald's, and then there's a gym. Or just roundabout.

You work your way around. Yeah, you can see the business in. Yeah, I know. Yeah, they know what they're doing, absolutely. Ice cream factory. I put on spoke by not the podcast before, but they made myself very sick. Me and my friends trying to take each other on

who could do the most trips to the ice cream factory. Did you ask for a rep? No, but I was very close to it. I was laying down in the back of the car. You threw up? Because you could get, was it like jelly tots that they put on top of it? Or like fruit pastels or whatever that is? Things that shouldn't be anywhere near ice cream, right?

I'm talking about like fruit not being able to be in the desert. It's about jelly tots. Jelly tots in like strawberry ice cream. Yeah, yeah, I went to hard in jelly tots in. Yeah. 10 years old. Your your your your body's not quite matured enough to be able to take on that challenge.

How big is it? Is it? That's it, is it? It's maturing. I actually weirdly think it was in, it was in two trips. So it's just like a very, very big mountain of tuts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, it's like what you can just take as many jelly tuts as you as you want. Yeah, yeah.

I think it was maybe also the first time I encountered the philosophy of the buffet. Yeah, that's a mad moment, isn't it? It's crazy, yeah. Because like the first time I encountered the philosophy of the buffet. Yeah, that's a mad moment. It's crazy, yeah. Because like the first time you encounter a buffet, you're like, oh, let me get as much stuff as I can in one sitting. As we mature, effectively, you realise that you've got to be tactical about it. Right? You can take small plates several times. And also, personally, the tactic is stick to high quality proteins. Don't fill up on carbs. Interesting.

If you're still hungry by the time you've had all the other stuff, then you go for the carbs. It's not going to go too easily in the pizza. No, pizza won't work. Yeah, I just be waiting for you to pick the cheese off you. I mean, yeah, I think as a kid, when they tell you an unlimited trip to the ice cream factory, what do I think is going to happen? Do you remember the feeling of sticking up ice cream? I remember the confusion of, because it was such a fast transition from like

deilation and joy and like the unbridled like possibility of life of life. Yeah. But this is the top of the mountain. Yeah. But like the descent after that was so swift and clearly executed. Yeah. It was really confusing for you. Yeah. I bet. That's a horrible moment.

Do you remember the feeling of second up ice cream? What was good? It was good answer. It was a good answer. But here we are. This is what this podcast is. Well, have you ever seen that by screen? No, never.

As soon as I felt it coming up my gut, I'd swallow it again and say scrum to the option. I was just trying to work out if it came out cold. It came out cold. Interested. Yeah. Did it come out cold? That's what I think I got.

I am committed to the pages of my diary. Your dream starter. Does this menu have to be like coherent as an actual meal? No. Totally up to you. It's your dream meal, whatever you want. No one's watching. No, it won't be. Yep.

Okay. So my starter is a taco, al pastor, Mexican street vendor, Mexico city. So we're talking that corn tortilla, we're talking that pork that is kind of now I'm actually thinking back on it, it's not a natural color, but it's a very vivid kind of pink key, burply, whatever, ready. This coriander is the carp bits of onion from the bread star. It's hot sauce. There's those little bits of tomato, just guacamole. That sounds very nice. Now this, this is surprised me straight out the gate, James. You're surprised. Yeah. Come on. Because all the talk has been about,

I won't eat things that I didn't eat when I was seven. And I'm really picky. We've seen the appearance of coriander, which is probably the ultimate thing that some people's lists if they're a picky eater that they won't eat. Isn't that like an actual condition? There is that. People get weird about it, say it tastes like soap, there's a sort of medical thing, but also some people just hate coriander. And I just think, you know, you've got some things on there that have surprised me that I wouldn't expect from a piquita and it sounds delicious. I love scurriander, the more the mario. I like the more the mario.

Not the more the mario. Just the more. So you had this in Mexico City? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was in Mexico City like last year. And have you been? No. We've been to Mexico at all. Never. No, do you like it, some been? No, no. We've been to Mexico at all. Never.

No. Do you like it, some food? Yeah. Love it. Maybe nobody got in Mexico. Probably got. That's where it is, I suppose. Yeah.

It's everywhere, actually. Yeah. But yeah, they've got kind of street vendors who play amazing music. And I don't actually know what's going on behind the, or do you call that? The stall? Well, they're in the stall.

Yeah, I mean, look at it with truck. Yeah, let's just say behind the screen. Yeah. Behind the kind of love, right? Yeah, I know it's going on, but like, you make your own, then it comes out fully formed and perfect and beautiful and oily and greasy and amazing. Is there a certain vendor that you're thinking of

that was the best one and you want to go back there. We kind of spent one day because I love tacos. We spent one day walking around Mexico City and getting all the that we went on on this night and I like websites that's like best tacos in Mexico City. And yeah there was on that kind of like tour of Mexico City. But what I actually really do remember is the final one that we went to after having had like maybe 10, 15 tacos over the day, which sounds better before than after. But the final one was a kind of like, almost like buffet-style

taco situation where they give you the tortillas and then put like what looks like a kilogram of pork like in front of you and kind of stand there and watch you eat it. Oh wow. You know, so it would be the kind of situation where we would have just like taken that a bit and then bounce, but because there it was very, very quiet and very brightly there. Yeah.

So I was kind of pushed again towards the great, sickie moment. Yeah, it's quite a situation. Yeah, too many of my stories are going to edge in towards that. You don't know when you stop. Yeah. That's got me, I mean, I'm a big jelly tot on top of the taco. Yes, I take sweet tacos to the dream, man. Yeah, sweet tacos.

Sweet, there's some, there was somewhere, I can't remember where it was now. This is going to be an awful story, but where they did chocolate tacos and I did one of those things, similar to you, you've got like googly and something, things that you've got to eat. So like great, they do chocolate tacos at this place, had to walk a really long way, gone there, it was shut and I still think about it, although still think how much I wanted those chocolate tacos. Is the shell with chocolate inside the shell? Shell with dipped in shell.

This is like a hard shell. Hard shell, hard like waffle cone shell dipped in chocolate and then inside that ice cream. Oh my god. I think that might have been actually driven the Disney holiday and I think it was at Disney Springs. And I was like, we're going to get these, I can't wait. And then we got there, it was a little tear rolled down my shoe. I don't know about sweet tacos. Have you ever had a plantain taco?

Have I? Yeah, you must have. It from Wahaka. Wahaka. Yes, they come at Wahaka. They come at Wahaka. Thoughts.

Fantastic. So you like a sweet taco? Yeah, do, but I suppose plantain delicately straddles the sweet and savory divide, doesn't it? It's getting invited to both parties. Yeah, very popular guy, the plantain. But yeah, I think it brings lovely sweetness to savory things, but I would still consider it a savory food, but then I guess. Would you? Yeah, but I guess I've no, I don't think I've had it in a sweet, dessert context, so I'm sure my mind would be changed.

Is it fruit? Plantain. Yeah. If it was in a dessert, would you be okay with that? Yeah, I would. Ah. You really went somewhere there, you really have to imagine it. I was like, wow, you really pinned me to the moon.

Yeah, I would, I'd love it. Yeah. It is a fruit, you're right. But like, look, when I'm talking about fruits and desserts, and don't take me back, but I am thinking like dried fruits and desserts. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't want a saltana, don't want a raisin, I don't want a dried cranberry, or whatever, don't want to see. And also just like cherries, like whether they're real cherries, or those like fake cherries that you can get on cakes or whatever, both of them have them separately put it in the bowl, eat it, kind of feel like you're being healthy. If you're having your cake, if you're having your biscuit, whatever, allow yourself to give yourself over to the fact that that is an indulgent moment.

I don't want to be it to be interrupted by vitamins and yeah and and such. Surely the raisin can be an indulgent thing. It can be part of an indulgence, can't it? They're super sweet. There's no vitamins in a raisin. Yeah, but what are they? Dry grapes. Dry grapes. But they look like they're a thousand years old. If you actually think about it as a dried grape, when was that a grape? Yeah, yeah, sure. They should let you know on the packet. They should show you the journey from like pump like delicious grape to raisin. You never ate it. Yeah. This is when this was a grape. There should be a date. This was last a grape on this day. And then you can just start it if you want to eat it or not. I started buying dried

sowna cherries from the place around the corner for me and the other day bought a tub of dark chocolate ice cream and was just freely adding the dried sour cherries to the dark chocolate ice cream. Does that make you angry? He tried to provoke me. Oh yeah. It feels like it feels pointy. Not only was he in driedthrough and in desire, he was adding it himself. I was adding it myself. No, no. That was me chucking it in there, getting the sandwich areas in with the dark chocolate. Yeah, everything alright?

You know, at like you don't like that, playing the combination, eh? No, I do, but just whenever I hear about you buying a big tub of ice cream and then throwing things into it, I'm like, James, okay? Sure. My tour started. So, yeah, James, okay. Sure. It's not my tour star. I'm doing that now. That sounds delicious, though, I think. And it feels like cooking as well.

Why the savour cherry? I quite like savour things, but I was basically, I went into this shop originally just to buy toppings from a wheatabix. Very important. And I was like, I'm going to try some new toppings. I've just been chopping up bananas and having raisins on them

for ages now. You love raisins as well. Yeah, ages, that's been my goal. Raisins in your wheat abyss. Yeah, my goal to wheat abyss topping has been chopped up bananas and raisins for years. Why? I get the banana bit up barely, but like,

the raisins as well. Yeah, love, because you can get like the little mini wheat a bit, so I've raised and said them and stuff. And then I've always liked those. So I was like, I'm just going to add the raisins myself. So what about your dairy milk of choice? Are you going for a fruit and that? I'll probably would, you know?

Yeah, I love fruit and that doesn't mean that's crazy. That's crazy. Oh, really? Yeah, that's crazy. The dairy milk is like, maybe top five classic tastes. Oh, on its own. That's crazy. I really? Yeah, that's crazy. The dairy milk is like maybe top five classic tastes. Oh, on its own. On its own. Yeah, you do like the classic. Pure dairy milk.

I like the pure dairy, I mean, I like the old school dairy milk before they made it weird. Did they make it weird? They've made it weird, yeah. They don't know. Of course it's soft. They changed the shape of it and they've made it weird. They've changed the shape and the flavor, I think. Yeah. They've changed the shape and the favor, I think.

Yeah, that's taken over by Christ. Yeah, I think I'm thinking of the old school classic. Classic, very much. And if you're going to stray from that, maybe the whole nut. Uh-huh. Oh, right. The whole nut? The whole nut find, but I wouldn't be on the table for me.

Bottom. Bottom of the table, the whole nut. I'll probably go for the fruit nut first and then the classic. And then the whole nut is way way down. Forget it. I've never, 38 years old, I've never potted with my money for a whole nut. He's still never bought one. Never handed cash cash over the count of fucking old. Never done it. Do you think you will? Do you know, I can't imagine unless I've, that's a buy one for Papa, I don't know, don't know, fucking do it. No way. You see, if you wanted me to see, initially, you were trying to provoke Papa into,

saying something by saying you're adding Sal Cherry's to ice cream, but you've managed to provoke yourself now. You're really, I'm poor by this whole stuff. I would act to look it's normal. I guess you'd even be on the shelf. No, I don't. Yeah, I don't see the point of hell not being on the shelves. What? Take off the shelf. You got fruit and nut and you've got the classic dairy milk. Well, you know how I feel about fruit and nut, so like, don't put it.

Yeah. Don't put it as an alternative option. Yeah. You know who feels about it. Drim main course. Dream Mane Cours. Okay, Dream Mane Cours. It's called Red Red. Have you had that yet?

No. No. Red Red, so Red Red is a Gagnandish. It's Black Eyed Bean Stew with a side portion of sweet fried plantain. So if we're talking about this Black Eyed beans do, it's a kind of, I mean, you've got black eyed beans, you've got like a tomatoy base kind of like fried and like garlic ginger, onion, maggy cubes, maybe a bit of smoked fish, slow cooked over a long time, palm oil, it's very got a very red coloring and textured to it. And that is kind of like

counterbalance by the sweet savory, indescribable, but perfection of a well-fried sweet plantain. Sounds delicious. Have you ever considered doing the voiceover for Marx and Spencer that? Because, a very sensual way of talking about food. Yeah. I was actually really like going through, I was going through the process of both making it and devouring it, was I've seen. Yeah. I mean, that sounds amazing. I like the name. Red red.

Red red. That's what it says in tin. Yeah, they're not messing around with that. It doesn't come in the tin. It will do when it's at Mark's expense. And you're doing the voiceover. Yeah, when you're sponsored by it. Yeah.

Would that be like Uncle Ben? No, who was the person who had their sauce? Um, like Roseman? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It could be like, I could be like Papa S. A. D. Red Red. Yeah. I think so. That was fine. Someone's going to message you about it. No, it's not. It's a gross message you about that. How did Lloyd's Groesman get that deal? Well, he was the host of the original MasterChef. See. Yeah, for a long time.

So sort of a bit of a food icon back in those days and then started doing his own sauce. He's not a talker, I thought he was. Who did you think he was? I thought he was on like, either like this is your life or like, through the keyhole. Through the keyhole, yeah. So he did do that as well, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, that's confusing for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause it's my introduction to him also. Right. So I was like, you, I was like, how is the through the keyhole guy? Exactly. Got a sauce. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why am I like, compulsively buying the astrosols for you? Yeah. Through the keyhole though. Yeah, that was exactly what I was like. I was like, he says who lives in the house like this. I don't know why you're selling sauce. Yeah. And then you just go for actually, this is the way it actually is. It seems really weird that he's doing through the keyhole. Yeah. Maybe he's seen so inside so many people's houses he'd worked out what the majority of people

like on their pastor. Yeah. So you can see that he's seen so many kitchens he's like, I know exactly what's going to sell the best. So do you think like all the offcuts of the of what's sharp is just him going through like it? Yeah, he goes through cupboards. Yeah, yeah, no, it's increased. And it's a mark. People like to mark. But then it's like really just for celebrities. Yeah. So yeah, you know, it's what sources celebrities like. Do you remember him on MasterChef? No, I never, I've never seen an episode of MasterChef in my life.

Right. Well, that was old on MasterChef? No, I've never seen him play the MasterChef in my life. Right. Well, that was old-school MasterChef. And then it went away for a few years and it came back as originally called MasterChef on the road, I believe, with Greg Wallace. Right. And then now that's just become MasterChef. What was on the road? It's like they're going around the country finding good people, I think, from what I remember. And what was original MasterChef?

It was in a studio, but they'd only be there for the contestants It was only be there for one episode and they'd have to cook a dish within the time of the the show and Lloyd Grossman was was the host And then that led to the best Vick and Bob sketch. You see in that one? No where Vick Reeves plays Lloyd Grossman is a sort of like horrifying like big-headed very pale like vampiric figure He floaked across the studio. Oh, absolutely not. Yeah, you see that. Well, that's Lloyd Grossman. That's supposed to be Lloyd Grossman, that.

Who do you want to be cooking the red red? The red red is being cooked by any auntie. It's got to be anyone who is referred to as an auntie, anyone that I would call an auntie. Yeah. auntie, anyone that I would call an auntie. Yeah. I was at anyone that you would call an auntie, not just anyone who would call the auntie. Yeah, but I wouldn't, the people that I would call an auntie aren't limited to my actual auntie. Yes. Yeah. I'd probably call you auntie. Yeah. Well, I don't get regret. I'd have to really do some research. Yeah. But like, no, it has to be cooked by an auntie in a kitchen,

like a pot that's like 30 years old, the music is loud, you can smell it for like days. It's in the sofa fabric. It's like, you know, it's been carried with you. It's got to have that authentic, that authentic feeling to it. More jealous of that. We've certainly called just calling people anti and uncollard stuff. I think it's so cool.

And I don't, I don't have it. Yeah, be creepy if you did it. Yeah, if I did it wouldn't work. So what do you call, what would you call like your mum's mate? Just whatever. Her name is Hillary. You call a Jen. Yeah. I just call the Hillary. If I ever said, how's it going, anti? I think it's really, really, really get very confused. It doesn't sound good. When it works. But then like, Gus Khan calls my dad uncle. My dad absolutely loves love. Of course. Absolutely loves it. It's his favorite thing that anyone's ever called him is that goes cause him uncle every time he sees him. Absolutely loves it.

Um, what would you call Gus? It's that. Well, I've not been introduced yet, but I would just... Would you leave him in the name? What would you call guzzas dead? Well, I've not been introduced yet, but I would just... Would you leave Mr. Count? Would you go with... Mr. Count. And then Mr. Count. Really?

Go from Uncle. To begin with, no, I wouldn't venture that. I think after the first day, maybe I'll see how we're doing. Yeah, and if I could... I don't think you've got the confidence to get away with it. Guzz definitely has.

Oh, yeah, I think that's more about Gu as a person, rather than being anything cultural at all. But the thing is, if, if, if, let's say, let's say Guzz, Guzz's mum was called Hillary. Yeah. Right. You couldn't call her Hillary. I couldn't. No. Oh, why not? You have to call her Auntie. I'd have to call her Auntie.

Thanks, no. Or Mrs. Can't, we could, Mrs. Can perhaps. Or Mrs. Can. Mrs.? Or Mrs. Canne. Mrs. Canne. But that feels like even more formal to me. Mrs. Canne, that feels like a bit building school. Yeah. As aunties like respectful but still that child. Yeah, normally I just call your mum, and yes, it's so close to Auntie as well.

You may as well. But I'm a little bit poverty on the end. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, yeah, I'll'm gonna pop it to you on the end. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, yeah, I'll probably just call the bell the first name. Yeah. But I'm always I think it's way cooler to like call people on the archivic. It's respectful. It's respectful and affectionate at the same time. Right. And also if you forget someone's name, it's really useful.

You have to worry about that. Don't have to learn any of the names of your mum's mates. Yeah. Just call everyone on T. Yeah. And also there seems to be some like clear kind of like, let me say any article could cook that because there's a clear skill set or any attached to that name. What age does someone become Auntie though? It's interesting. I think like a lot of, I think I'm entering my uncleera. Yeah. People have started uncleing me. Really? In a way that I'm not hugely comfortable with. But I think I'm also exhibiting like certain Uncle Pavius. Yeah.

Like what, what are Uncle Pavius? I guess like sitting in the sofa in a certain way. Do you know what I mean? You kind of like, once you kind of start sitting like that. Yeah, slap, check a bit, yeah. Unclish. Yeah. You're unclish.

Sort of slaughtering, but also being like, I've sat in the sofa before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is my space on the sofa. Exactly. And I'm not going to move. Yeah. Yeah. Uncle, it's a bit of an existential, it's like, it's really confronting, yeah, even behind the ice cream factory era. It kind of goes straight from my screen factory to uncle. Yeah, that's sitting like an uncle. That seems quite early for you to be getting called uncle. You must have not been expecting it now. Like I said, it's hard. It's hard to be confronted by, but the proof is in the seat.

The proof is in the posture. Yeah, I mean, there's not a prize. Yeah, the old adage. The prize in the posture. You can't really resist there. Yeah. And to be fair, like you say, I think those are some plus parts to it. It suggests respect. It's better than being called a prick. Those are the two options. Yeah. Brecker Uncle. Yeah, yeah, fair enough. I know what I'm called

prick. It's called Uncle prick. That's the secret of Uncle Buck. Have you got nieces on their fused? Yeah, I got nephews. I call my uncle James. They call you Uncle James, isn't it? Yeah, I call my uncle. They call me every time they talk to me, every sentence has Uncle James in it. It's not, they don't, once they've seen me,

for the first of the day, they every sentence starts with Uncle James. They can't just talk to, because they're not at that age yet, where they can just go, how are you? What are you up to? They have to go, Uncle James, and then go into every time. And they're not at the age yet where they can just go how are you what you up to they have to go Uncle James and then go into every time and they're not asking you how you are I don't give a shit

Uncle James can I have this can I have that whatever but like yeah, so that that'll always be the top of every does it make you feel good? Yeah, love it. Yeah, love being Uncle James really enjoy it. They're all brilliant as well So I'm like hanging out with them. It wouldn't be cool if like other people who are not biologically their uncle was calling me uncle. I'd like that. I'd like it. What about if the person was like 25? Yeah, well then then we got a problem. Yeah, I don't like that. Also, you've just said on our podcast, I would like it if people who I'm not related to call me uncle. So now everyone who's listening to this is gonna call you on Call James. I won't mind that. We're not. I'd like that if anyone comes up to me and goes hey uncle

Really enjoy the food podcast. Yeah, has it has a fit as a counter a counterpoint to big tips As you've just said Big Sips and uncle that's great. What a pair big sips and that one. Do you see that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Big sips and Uncle. That's great. What a pair. Big sips and Uncle James. You can do a laser change to name of this. That's an operation. You're a hot car. Big sips and Uncle James. So this is going to be cooked by an auntie this red red. Would you ever trust an uncle to cook red red? Are you crazy? I think it's also like it's an attribute of an uncle to literally not even though where the pots are kept in the kitchen. The uncle is not the the consternation on the face of the uncle. As you asked the question, please can you cook me some red red this on the the

consternation tilto us everything needs now. Is that going to be your vibe as there's an uncle that I'm trying to usher in a new generation of uncles. Red red cooking uncles. Yeah. People sitting up right in the all the rest of it. This is a new generation is 2023.

So do you have you cooked red red before? I have. Yeah. Yeah. I actually do love it. I love it. It's and I was googling it Earlier on to see what the people were saying about it. It's described as a low calorie gluten-free vegan tree. Oh wow You know, so yeah, when when when Mark's suspense is comical and I think I think

There's a revolution that come in well It's gonna be it's just gonna be like on loads of influencers, Instagrams and stuff. Yeah. Be tried red red. You can do it on your Instagram. I could do it on mine. Anything is Ed Ed, Ed making the red red. Big six making Ed Ed. Yeah. Yeah. That's make you fight a lot though. Does it? Yeah, the beans. Makes you fight a lot. So I don't know how that would go with the influencers. That's an influence forever farted before on cam. I'm sure. You're sure? answers. That's an infant, so ever farted before on cam? I'm sure. You're sure?

Yeah. That's your answer. Probably not on their public channel. No. Probably paid for one, where they do that. You got to see the fart, so you go. Yeah, yeah. Sound on.

Yeah. That's a problem. No one's been watching it with the sound. Yeah. It's actually just like a coffee. Yeah. That's why they got subtitles on. So no one hits sound and then you hit the little thing and it's up. Just constant. Yeah, I constant

buzzing. Sorry, I've just had red red. Before we move on to the side dish, have we called anyone cousin like in the bear? I love the bear. Cuzz maybe. Not cousin. Not cousin like. Cuzz in like, yeah, there is like such, I don't know, there's something about an Italian American saying cousin that has got weight to it. Yeah. I mean, it's not like, it's not said by, it's not said by accident, it's not said without intention. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I love it. I mean, Nishikuma, I tried to get that going between us. Cousin. Yeah, he called me cousin for a while, but I wasn't sure about it. I mean, Nishikuma tried to get that going between us. Cousin. Yeah, he called me Cousin for a while. Yeah. Yeah. Call me Cousin for a while, but I wasn't sure about it. We also tried to get people to refer to him as the bear as well. Yeah, he was really into it. Yeah. I mean, I don't know why he thought he could be referred to as the bear. No, he just was sure that he watched that show.

And of all the characters in it, he saw himself as Kami. I mean, what can I come up with? That is in your dreams. Delusion Takenbeck. You are fat if you're lucky, Nish. Your dream side dish. So this is where the meal becomes bit incongruous. My dream side dish is potato's bravas, but from a very specific place. Great. There's a place called Bartomas in Barcelona, even though. No, no, no, no.

It's a real kind of like locally joined. And they make these potato's bravas, just no tomato sauce, which I think actually elevates it. It's fried in this like chili, like garlic-y oil. And it, you know, like those french fries that you get that are like so, so, so crunchy on the outside and so soft and fluffy on the inside. It manages to do that. No. Right. It costs like three euros or something. You can get it with that one of those tiny, like little beers.

You know, there's, it's not even half-eyed, I think. Because like, the little stubby, little stubby bottle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it comes in like a cute little glass. Yeah. Delicious. And yeah, if you want, you can also have like a little chicken breast or a little sausage, but that's now becoming a meal,

isn't it? On the side dish. Wow, I don't know. Can I have the beer? Tapas, though. Well, yeah, I love the idea of adding a little beer. It feels like it should come with that. It should come with a little beer.

If every time you've had it, you've had the little beer. I've always had a little beer, so they can't decide this. You can't serve them apart, so yeah. Yeah, they have the little beer. That, yeah. A little bit of something. They can't decide this. You can't turn them apart. So yeah. Yeah, definitely have a little bit of that. Yeah. A little sausage in there. Yeah. Yeah.

He's trying a little sausage in. Throw a little sausage in, I think that sounds nice. Yeah. I mean, definitely, Tartus, I don't like the tomato sauce in it. So this is great. Get rid of it, right? Yeah. Great that that's not going to be in there.

Yeah. The tomato sauce is actually giving Lloyd Grossman, I feel. Yeah. I feel like it feels like someone putting past the source on top of you and talking about this. Grossman, but yeah. I don't really mean. Maybe Grossman sort of reached his spinly fingers across.

Do you think he's got an international? He's got international. And he's infiltrated Spain. It's not good with voices. Can you do like Lloyd Grossman saying, potato fries? Potatoes, bravettes. That's very good. He used to do Lloyd Grossman saying, Patatas, but Patatas Bravas. That's very good.

He used to do Lloyd Grossman all the time when he used to watch MasterChef when I was a kid and then do impressions of Lloyd Grossman afterwards. But I'd be like, I mean, with my mum, me and my mum used to do it. But I'd be like making dinner, like do it, but doing an impression of Lloyd Grossman like it was on MasterChef. I've prepared a cheese sandwich. I give my

would be me cracking up. Yeah, she loved that. Yeah. Love it. Yeah, of course you do. I mean, as an actor, but you grow it up doing characters around the house. Not really. I didn't really start accidental very late. And also, I sometimes, yeah, I didn't start acting until very late. So it wasn't really something. What are you, I used to love stars in your eyes. Do you remember that one? Yeah. Like the, like, it was famous people, right? Yeah.

Absolutely. But yeah. So that was the, I used to love watching that and like trying to do the impressions of like, who sings Ledy and Red. Christopher, Christopher. Ledy and Red. Ledy and Red. I literally couldn't tell you what Christopher, what the original of that song was like. Yeah.

I could tell you what the stars in your eyes like. The guy doing the impression of him was like, big banger. I was, Christopher, the guy doing the impression of him was big banger. I was, Christopher Berg's a very funny go to when you imagine. I think he won actually didn't because I've seen that clip recently, the guy doing Lady in Red and Red. Lady in Red. When I was a teenager, because I was really into,

I've still am, really into music. And one of my mum's friends, one of my aunties. She, I remember she came round once and she wasn't really a music fan but she loved Christopher. She's like, oh, your mum's telling me you really love music. So I thought I'd lend you this to watch. It was like a video of the making of like one of the later Christopher Gell was and I sat down and watched it because she didn't see me. I was sitting there going, I'm pretty sure this album is shit and it's a really long documentary about you like you like music. You're like music so I'm quite a legend this.

I should just assess what Christopher Berg said like it was just a quit like a bad Christopher Berg album and how it was made but being made like it was a classic in the documentary. But I guess if you're filming a documentary, you're sort of just hoping the album's going to be a classic, right? And you do have a film as if it is. You have to film it like it is. It's too late if you make a classic and you've not made a documentary. Yeah, then you're like, oh, we should have filmed that. Yeah. And this thing you think, you think that those documentary makers think that they're right to witness, like, get back. Oh, they're hoping for that, sir.

I guess Chris probably was as well. Yeah, yeah, every time. You were with many high puns. Has he got any other tunes? No, I have no idea. And you've watched the documentary. I'm not going to say more about someone with documentary.

I'm going to tell you what, the album's called, is so boring. And every song was so bad. If you had to go on stars in the rise, who would you do? Hmm. You want something to get out fit, don't you? Yeah, you want something that's going to happen. With a recognizable outfit as well, so you get that initial round of applause.

Right. And the applause really should go to the costume makers, but I think, do this. Can you just stop the song? Just what everyone's to know, that applause is for the costume makers. Right. Yeah, really, really ethical. Yeah, a good test at the start of the ride. Yeah, like you're doing Oscar's beach before you say that. Maybe maybe some like thundercoat.

Yeah. No, yeah. He's got like a real kind of cosmic space age. Like, I feel like the costume makers. I'd love to hear the stars in their eyes audience trying to wrap their head around. You start singing them, I guess we clap, but I've got no idea who he's trying to be. Well, because it's the same audience from like the idea. It's an ITV audience. ITV, that they teetown. Yeah, good luck. I love that comes out to complete silence. Yeah, it's a ThunderCats I remember.

You have to learn to play a base for that as well, Goli. Yeah, and the fans as well, right? Is he left handed? I think he plays it in reverse. Right. It's reversed on strings. So you've got to learn at least to mind that. Well, I'd watch that.

Yeah, absolutely. That'd be great. What would you do? Great question. I would, would you go with someone you look like or someone whose music you wanted to do? Well, I guess I would not go. Yeah, I wouldn't go with someone whose music that I like and that I want to do because I think that would feel too. Because I know what my personality is like, I would get to invest in it and wanted to go really well and would only end up disappointing me. And I'd

take it really personally in real and that art is for me forever well. I would only end up disappointing. Yeah. And I'd take it really personally in ruin that art is for me forever. So I would have to do someone that I think I look like or something that's just like a laugh. Take here I get a lot of messages about you looking like. Well, do you have a Conker? No. I got to get that a lot.

Young Dave Mistain from Megadeth. Yeah, yeah. Dave Mistain, oh, Noddy Holder. Yeah, get that a lot. Noddy Holder. Noddy Holder. Oh, when I was on a Christmas episode of what I lied to, naughty holder was on it. And it didn't, it didn't make the edit. But one of the,

one of my cards that I did is it was a lie. And it was that I'd done a naughty holder impression at school on stage. And I had to like riff that on the spot of like, I know, they're like, what son did you sing? That's the Christmas one. The Christmas one. Yeah, really bad. I was so bad at lying. Like I go on there and just tell the truth every time

and there's had to do a lie. I was like the Christmas one. I mean, sing it for us now, how's it go? And I was like, I don't know. I never like, I very quickly moved us on. Just move on to the next round. Not only is he ruined this, but he's offending one of the other guests, right? I don't know, your back catalog, I can't remember.

Well, we thought you looked like him and it would be funny. I've just Googled him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's me. That's me in the future. That's your future.

Yeah. If it needs a scroll. Yeah. So you do not, you do not, you hold it, you think? Yeah, I do not, I do the Christmas one. Yeah. And I mean, then I'd really shout out the wardrobe, because like, just a slay, he's the, yeah, some pretty mean threats. Yeah, it's good. But like this, this goes out to the wardrobe department. Yeah. And I'd think we should be Christmas every day or whatever. But that one was maybe Christmas

everybody. Yeah, it's Christmas. Yeah, it's Christmas. Yeah, I mean, it's Christmas. Yeah, it's Christmas. Every time in that song that the show says Christmas, I don't think about not a hold of shout in it. I think about the office Christmas special when the guy who works in the office, I think his name is Oliver,

shouts it when everyone's done. Yeah. Because it's so well observed that there's always one person who doesn't know the order screen. So that way, if you talk about my hair, that song, I just think about that guy from the office. I don't think about Slated. I do, yeah, crazy frog.

So you're going for someone you look like. Well, I'm recognisable outfit. Yeah. Back in tune. Are you wearing a frog head prosthetic or have you just got face pain? I think face pain would be the best option. Yeah, yeah, I don't think you'd look enough like a frog head. Well, I'd wear like a frog body and then just face pain. Because people still don't need to see it's me, right? Otherwise, you get anyone to do it.

Yeah, my son. Well, you're so good at singing. That's my singing. Exactly. You have my singing. Yeah. I mean, could you do mass thing as the crazy frog without me trademark? Probably can't do it. So if you did every song is going be able to be Who is the person who's a million there for being the crazy frog? Well, the big remix was Axel F, right? Yeah. Yeah. It was a Beverly Hills cop. Yes, but there's there's I mean if you go on Spotify There's so many different crazy frog songs really yeah albums albums like and they're all like big covers of pop tunes with crazy frog doing them I don't know that well because

When I'm on tour my favorite thing to do to pull my tour manager is when we go to one of the drive-through Starbucks or something is as soon as we pull up at the little speaker and the lady says, what would you like? I put on Crazy Frog really loudly and because he gets the giggles and gets really embarrassed. And he's going, sorry, that's not me, I didn't put Crazy Frog on. The company never stops. So then I sort of start getting back into crazy frog.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can sleep in the spot. Yeah, so I think that's your crazy frog and stars in there. Your dream drink. Okay, so I'm going to say, this is just the drink tab with the meal, right? Yeah. It's not like this, I and this. I don't want to. Um, it's like the last drink.

It is a bit like desert island, but we tried not to draw attention to that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't say it. Then we can make out like a podcast, ripping us off. Yeah, actually, we would pop test it on a disc. I would go for a Scrapino from Foughts of Wine and Pickerm. We've been there. We have been there. We have been there.

We have been there. We have been to Fought to Wine. We had a nice time there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had a nice little drink on the rooftop. Yes. Yeah, so it's amazing, isn't it? Yeah.

That is opposite Frank's, I think, by that view of London. But yeah, so Scrapino is basically, I mean, it's basically a lemon sorbet with vodka and champagne. Yeah. This sounds incredible. Oh, Lord.

But I really, really, really would recommend drinking in moderation, because it is a lemon sorbet. Yeah. And you can drink a lot of those. Yeah. And that can go wrong in this. In this particular sense. Yeah. It has done.

You've basically picked a grown up ice cream factory here, right? And it had exactly the same as a hole. But on a rooftop, which is a terrible idea. No, it's awful. Yeah, I did, to be fair, I do remember going there, like for one of those, like, sundown kind of like me, or so it's like five o'clock and you're getting on the scorpinas. The night out after that you're not going home at two o'clock

morning, you're getting put in a cab at like eight thirty. Trust me. Because you're like wow, it's so delicious, it's so refreshing. Yeah, yeah. You know, it looks kind of, you feel like luxurious and, yeah, it just looks sophisticated. Yeah. What doesn't look sophisticated is try heaving a dude like, whilst people are coming back from like, right?

Like, buzzing with sugar and booze. Yeah. Like, people going out for dinner and just on the pavement. But it is absolutely delicious. Yeah, I need to try that. We've talked, I think we've talked briefly about scropinos before.

That way. With Paul Feegg, I believe. I mean, I mentioned scropinos. cocktail king. But I'm surprised even I had a scropinos. Well, I'm thinking that, because it have I had something like, I mean, obviously, it does sound delicious.

And I'm thinking of it. I've had any, like, boozy sorbet kind of drinks. But like, yeah, I'm all that hard. Have you got kind of drinks, but like, yeah, I've ordered that out. Have you got any feelings about like frozen cocktails? I love them. Absolutely. Absolutely. We'll go for those. And maybe it's over. If it's on the menu as a frozen cocktail, I'll go for that over the rest of them any day,

like immediately. That one that we had at, was it speedboat bar? Yes. In silver. Yeah. That like what was like the jelly beer thing? Holy moly. It was frozen like beer, but it also had like another, like a spirit in it. Oh, yes. It's called like a lagerator or something.

Drinking it all like, like, I spaced them out with other drinks between just to be like smart. But otherwise I would have carried on having those just like non-stop because they were the most delicious. They were so delicious. Any frozen cocktail I'm going to have that ahead of another one. Are you drinking it with a straw? I'm doing big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big. Regardless of what the drink, yeah, if it's a soft drink or boozy excited. I just I remember as a kid just like, you know Really quickly drinking squash all the time like someone's gonna take it off of me. So like Yeah, I'm still like that now with especially cocktails when they're sweet and nice. Yeah, they're just fucking gone And then after the first one, I'm like, okay, we're in trouble here That takes it really nice. you drank it in two seconds.

And you're here all evening. And you know what's gonna happen if you don't get ahead of this. Yeah. But when they're that nice, it's very difficult. Is it still a drink if you've got a, use a spoon? Interesting. Well, I'm trusting. Are you using a spoon all the way through or just at the end?

Yeah, from the beginning. Yeah. And assuming it's not melting, if it then is melted into a liquid and you're still using the spoon, then I would say it's not a drink anymore. Really? Is it not? Is it just a little snack, really? But then you can drink it. So like, if I was drinking the frozen cocktail and I'm just like sipping it out the glass is a drink. But if I stop and have it with a spoon, I think it's not a drink anymore.

Even though it's the same thing. But if you gave me like a Coca-Cola, not frozen, and I had that with a spoon, I think it's still a drink. Yeah, but also you look insane. Oh no, insane, I'd look like normal. That's a soup. Oh yeah, I'd look like normal. That's a soup. Oh, yeah, I'd look low-coated.

But like, it would definitely still be a drink, whereas if it's a frozen thing, and I'm having it with a spoon, I think I've made it a food in now. But it's one of those long spoons, right? Hopefully. Yeah, with any luck. Or a tea spoon. Yeah, yeah, tiny little tea spoon. Those long Sunday spoons. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. I've got to have a scrappin'er. We've got to go back to fort so I know. You know what, I think they might have discontinued them, so should we use this as a shout out for you to bring it back?

Bring it back. Bring it back. Although it feels like they'd be quite easy to make it home as well, right? Can you make lemon sorbet? You can buy lemon sorbet. That's true. You can make it as well. You can buy lemon sorbet. You can buy lemon sorbet. That's true. You can make it as well.

You can buy lemon sorbet. You can buy vodka. You can get a long spoon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll close. Just put it in a blender. Can you get a well-coaster, you say? Yeah.

Is that what you can get long spoons from? Yeah, anything from well-coaster. That's true. I've never seen a long spoon on this. Yeah. For sale before. I've never seen it in a restaurant. I've never seen it. You've never seen a long spoon for sale.

What are you talking about? This is true. This is the truth, isn't my life? I've never seen a long spoon. Never seen a long spoon for sale. So you're saying you've only seen standard spoons for sale? Yeah, the kind of classic spoons. I'd say long spoon is a classic spoon.

No. It would be in the first five spoons that I mentioned. I didn't see a long spoon. No, it would be in the first five spoons that I mentioned. I didn't see a long spoon. I was 12. I feel like 12. The first time I saw a long spoon, the red line and well, they came out with a sundae. We had a whole chat about it as a family. As a family. So someone else in the family had seen a long spoon. So how was your dad? They're the type you saw a long spoon. I don't have to be blindsided by it. We didn't know we were going to get these long spoons all that. That's crazy. I guess it's so you can get the sauce at the bottom.

Yeah, obviously. What a thick family. And they're all really happy about it. All of you like all those motors. So you get the sauce on the bottom, yeah. Yeah. Well, this is good because otherwise we can get right to the bottom. In the first scoop.

Yeah, your dad going normally. I just eat it with my hands and then smash the glass. So I can get to the sauce at the bottom. Yeah, it's not. These go. So we smash it and then we drink like like like the bottom of a nose cream coat. Yeah. Smash it off and then suck it out the bottom. Yeah. No, yeah. Definitely. I was about 12. Now that spoon, see spoon, wooden spoon. I mean, yeah, long spoon would be fourth, teaspoon, teaspoon, long, long, long sun, they have been serving spoon. Serving spoon. Yeah, the big ones, big daddy ones.

Yeah, that's true. Maybe sick, they'd be the sixth spoon, I think of. Well, service is kind of a long spoon, isn't it? Yeah, but you know, you know, like, you tell that service, spoon is in like an idol. No, no, no. Like, just like a slightly bigger dessert spoon, basically, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. That's more like just like in the bowl of whatever is going on. If you're having a Sunday roast, it'd be like in the bowl of the Vege or whatever.

The match. Yeah. Every spoon. Yeah. You know, you can get that and put it on your plate and put it back in there. You're not eating. That's not touching your mouth. Sure. Yeah. I bet you've used one. I bet you've used one. Yeah. On a five-week a big stay, then I'm using the big spoon. Five-week a bit. Sometimes I didn't really eat the night before and I'm really hungry.

Five-week a bit. And these days, the toppings are pecans, the sour cherries, and goji berries. Bam, milk, delicious. Oh, don't hold on. Before it was like bananas and raisins. Yeah. And then you've taken the sour cherries from the weird like, well, this is how we got on the way to the first place.

Goji berries. Goji berries on there. I'm going to goji berries now, but I'm on the mix. Why are you into goji berries? Just for a chance at one day or four, I've never eaten these before. Only person I've ever known who eats some of Gina Yashire. And she ate and once when I was at the interview, I know for a different podcast. And she ate them all the way through into the mic.

I was like, she said, you know, Gina said, do we love those? Yeah. So I'm going to try them. All right, weight-bix. Is it warm milk or cold milk? Cold. I'm not going anywhere near weight-bix.

Oh, not at all. Oh, wow. No, because it's like, I want to enjoy my life. And weight-bix is like the sort of thing you'd get's like, I want to enjoy my life. What the, come on. And wittobix is like the sort of thing you'd get, like a youth camp or prison or something. Long. Brain fuel.

Five is too many, but. Yeah, five is insane. I'm brain-y as hell because of that. And you're not. Me, brain-y. I'll figure out what the deserts been for the world. Yeah, I'm a bit of a family, but I have to get my head on. No, I'm not a wittobix fan.

I find the taste too boring. And I know that's why you put stuff on top of it, I mean, my family put it out to get them in bed with it. No, I'm not a way to fix fan. I find the taste too boring. And I know that's why you put stuff on top of it, but I just think, why not cut it in the middle man and just not have any of it? Yeah, it is. I mean, it is like a wartime breakfast, right? Yeah, well, you know,

it's fine to eat your breakfast. In Katman, it's always wartime. Especially the blitz cafe. Yeah, there was a blitz cafe. It's good. The blitz themed. The blitz themed cafe's got the ceiling is painted so it looks like there's a hole in it. What are they serving? They serve like you can get the Churchill which is a high tea kind of thing.

A lot of corn beef sandwiches, stuff like that. For their flying off the shelves. Yeah, I mean a lot of people love it. We bought it for Brexit. I mean, a lot of people love it, is there? We vote if it breaks it. Yeah, but it has got a question for me, which is why am I in five where you're a big, but using a massive spoon? Because there's times of them. Yeah, time. There's a big bowl, so I'll get you a big spoon.

But your mouth's the same size. Yeah, but I'll still get my mouth around that spoon. It's great. You get a big thing right in there. I'm so hungry. I'm not a question, do we? It's the equivalent of the big sip. Yeah, but we're the way to big crunch.

It is, yeah, big crunch. But I don't like them too crunchy. It's interesting crunch, because it's crunchy because the milk's cold, though, because I have it with warm milk. And it becomes like a... It's kind of like someone's really chewing it up for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and you like that, right? I love it.

Yeah. I love it. Absolutely, I love it. Your dream dessert. We've been through it. Dream dessert. Okay, so it's actually like a combination deserve. It is a freshly made person who's sugaring donut. So person who's like old school baker East London's one

Broadway market, Eastbury one and more from so very unpretentious, the people who work behind the till dress like different ideas, generally, what you see is what you get, but perfect. So one sugaring donut, I don't want any toppings on the donut, I don't want anything inside the donut. Oh, also jam on that list earlier on. Oh, really? Jam. And anything in that world, what do you call that?

What is that? Preserves. Marmalade. Jam. Did you put Marmal anything in that world what do you call that? That's a preserve's marmalade jam You put my mind in that chump put it in the preserves, but I guess breaks the spreads. Yeah, maybe in the same Yeah, I'm really been free mango Anyway, so it's a sugaring donut from Perciangles on a bed of Biscock Rock ice cream from Perciacled Ramyang, Julietta. There's one in Stonyman, there's one in Laten. Biscock Rock is a kind of like hazelnut, chocolate, vanilla, Biscoph, mega mix with biscuit bits in it. Wow, the texture. Happy I've done this combination before. No, so there's a two set of... This is a real, like, dream restaurant.

Yeah, yeah. But you know that I'd work together, right? How is that not going to be? A red percent. Yeah. You know, so, like, the ice cream would start melting a little bit from the warmth of the freshly made doughnut, but you've got, like, yeah, you've got the crunch of,

like, the biscuit-y ice cream going with, like, the absolute smooth softness of that freshly made down. Are you joking? Perfect. I'm having a good time. I want to hear more about Romeo and Julieta. Romeo and Julieta, a gelataria. Both of them in like quite surprising locations, I would say. They're not surrounded by, I mean, what would you expect to see in your gelataria, maybe like a beautiful beach or, you know, a sort of piazza. Yeah. One of them is really on the high roads, like really on one of those high roads that's got like next door is like a carpet factory or something like that. Right. But I think I think that adds to the charm of it. And

the ice cream is like, I would say the best in London, it's amazing. Well, I've not even been to this place. I've never heard of it. I've heard of it. Ice cream is my favourite thing. The thing about Remy and Juliet obviously, they've got a wide range of different flavours. Lots of them have got like fruit and ice cream again, but you'd love it. I think they've got a cherry one. I'd love a cherry ice cream. Strawberries cheesecake. Great. Yeah, yeah, he's got little biscuit bits in it as well. Black forest. Yeah, delicious. I mean, but you know, when it comes to ice cream. Do you not like mint ice cream? Um, pistachio. Yeah, but I, I, it was not my go to, I'm not going for that. Ed probably prefers that. I like pistachio. I think more than I do. Yeah. But it wouldn't be my go to in a, in a gelato

ria. When you're like, when there's gelato and then there's like, I guess sorbet, are you going for one or the other or both? Sometimes I go for both if they've got like a dark chocolate sorbet. Damn. I'd get that with like a... That's basically ice cream, though. Which is basically ice cream. But then that's nice to have with the...

But yeah, otherwise sorbet is I love the citrusy ones, but I'm having them on there. I'm not having them with the... Or maybe a coconut sorbet with a nice cream? It's all a bit too much fruit and dessert to me. Yeah. It's sorbet-wise, I'm not touching sorbet unless it's annihilated and then blended with loads of vodka in it. That's what's getting me on board with sorbet for sure and a long spoon.

On a vegan menu back to your nail, see how you feel about it? Wow. You want still water? You want warm bread with a herb-y salted butter. starter, taco, or El Paso d'Or for Mexico City Street vendor, main course, red red cooked by any auntie, side dish, tartar's bravus, and a little beer, and a little sausage from barter mass in Barcelona, drinks, grippino from For the Wine, dessert, freshly made, Percy Ingles sugaring doughnut on a bed

of biscock rock ice cream from Romeo and Juliet. Can that be improved? I mean, that is a foodies menu. Yeah. That's 100% of foodies menu. Do you think so? Yeah. I'll eat all of that. Because I didn't know what to expect when you're talking about being fussy, but that doesn't read to me like a fussy person. Yeah. But it is also a bit of a child's menu, right? Well, the dessert definitely.

Yeah. Because you got excited and put a doughnut on top of my screen. That definitely is that. But maybe not a Scrapino. Yeah, Taco Scrapino. I love it. Like there's very few, you know, it's nice when you get a menu where you go, I eat every single thing on that menu.

Yes, for sure. Yeah, I'll be quite excited to try all of that. Yeah. I think that's a proper foodie thing. Thank you very much. I was in the dream restaurant. I think that's a proper foodie thing. Thank you very much. I was in the dreamer's dreamer's father. Thanks for having me. Thank you.

Well, there we are, James. Oh, great menu from Puppet. Such a good menu. I'd like to try all of that right now, please. Yes. And also, no sachets of pepper. No, sachets of pepper. Anywhere near that. I mean, I can, I,

well, where are we gonna, you've ever been a world where that came up? Yeah. Well, we'd have to really pin him down going, this red red, where's the pepper coming from? And then it might, he might have smelled a wrap there.

Yeah, and even then, if you're not put, it seems like a home cooked thing. Yeah, you're not putting sachets of, Auntie doesn't have a big bag of sachets of peppers? There's no way. No, no way at all. So very happy we didn't have to kick him out.

Which means we can also say, go and watch the Lazarus project. Yes, go and watch the series two, but then, yeah, watch series one series one is the sky original series two is coming soon to sky max. Get it done. And watch, watch what's all the pubic entire photography TV,ography. Yeah, I mean TV, I think filmography it comes under. Does it certainly doesn't work a pedia. There'll be two separate sections for film on TV, but it's all under the filmography drop down box. So thank you for coming in.

Absolutely lovely menu. Thank you very much for coming in. Absolutely lovely menu. Thank you very much for listening. We will see you again sometime soon. Goodbye. Goodbye. MUSIC Hello, my name is Ian Smith. I'm Amy Gletto. And we are from the Northern News Podcast.

Where we take a deep dive into the bizarre stories we find from the North. Hey, and if you like food, and I know you like food, actually, because you listen into off menu, we've got stories about pigs getting cooked, off-round, about with crisps. We've got stories about gravy retling in cow parks. We've got stories about restaurants getting one star food hygiene retains. And record breaking yorks or puddings. And we've got special guests. But you may remember from off menu episodes such as Macy Adam, Tim Key, Rosie Jones,

Fatter Herl Gory, Phil Wang and he hasn't been on off menu, but we got Kevin Kennedy. You played Curly Watch in Coronation Street. Take that egg, caster. So please, give a listen to the Northern News podcast. Every Thursday wherever you get your podcasts.