Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 222: Nabil Abdulrashid

Episode Date: February 7, 2024

Superb stand-up and ‘Britain's Got Talent’ star Nabil Abdulrashid is this week’s dream diner. Nabil Abdulrashid is on tour now with ‘The Purple Pill’. For dates and tickets visit nabilabdulrashid.com Follow Nabil on Instagram @manlikenabz Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, it's Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu podcast that you're listening to right now. I'm here to tell you that I am on tour. UK and Ireland tour, Hot Diggity Dog is the name of the show. It's starting on March the 12th, going all over to lots of places. Go to edgamble.co.uk to buy tickets. For what I believe is a very funny show. We'll have a nice time. See you there. Bye. Thank you, James. Welcome to the off menu podcast, chopping up the melon of the Internet and adding it to

the fruit salad. That's a gamble. My name is James A. Castor. We are the favorite ever. Start a main course side dish, dessert, drink, not in that order. And I'm all over the place. Oh, dear me. This week, our guest is Nabil Abdul Rashid. Nabil Abdul Rashid, an absolutely fantastic comedian who I gigged with many years ago and thought this guy's great. And he's gone on to absolutely huge things. He did very well on Britain's Got Talent. Has the judges roared in with laughter? Yeah, James has read that off the screen. He's also done Celebrity Masterchef, things like that. But he's just an excellent stand-up comedian, a very, very funny man, and he will be in the studio with us.

He's also going on tour, James. He's going on tour of his show, Purple Pill. The Purple Pill, Nabil Abdul Rashid. So do go and check out his website for details on that. I'm sure you'll be convinced that you want to go and see him after this episode. Yes, however, we'll be giving him a little bit more time to pack for that tour. If he says a secret ingredient, which we have agreed upon in advance. Yes. And this week, the secret ingredient is purple carrots.

Purple carrots. Of course, we've got that from purple because this show is called the purple pill. Purple pill. I like purple carrots. Purple carrots. Purple carrots. Of course, we've got that from Purple because this show's called the Purple Pill. Purple Pill. I like purple carrots. I like purple carrots, but I find them a little creepy. Yeah, yeah. Because you're used to carrots being orange, then you cut, you sort of cut into a purple carrot. I think the first time I did it, I thought, well, it's only the outside that's purple.

I'm sure the inside will be white or orange, like a normal carrot. You thought the inside would be orange. It's purple all the way through. No, if the inside, if it,, outside was purple, the inside was orange, it would look like when you bite into a round tree's fruit pastel lolly. Yes. And I don't want it to do that.

Do you not like that? I don't want a carrot to look like a round tree's fruit pastel lolly. I think you do. I take it back. It's right. I've gaslighted it. Very excited to have Nabil in the studio.

I'm on tour as well. Hot diggity dog. Hot diggity dog. EdGamble.co.uk for details and tickets also. My book's out, Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy, available from all good booksellers. A very successful guy. I'm busy, I wouldn't say successful.

Well, you know. I've done the things, but you know, how successful they are is yet to be seen. That's up to you, listeners. Yes. Let's you know, I've done the things, but you know that how successful they are is yet to be seen. It's up to you, listeners. Yes, let's make this boy a success. Please make me

happy. This is the off menu menu of Nabil Abdul Rashid. Welcome, Nabil, to the dream restaurant. Welcome Nabil Abdul Vashid to the dream restaurant, but it's been a year for some time. I'm sorry that I'm five minutes late, but you know, I'm also sorry to my ancestors that I only arrived five minutes late. Normally we're a lot more fashionable with our late. I see, I see. Now the way James says, I've been expecting you for some time,

he always says that to the guests, regardless of punctuality. I like to make things awkward. Yeah. Honestly, that's my, you should have been at my wedding. Yeah. It was.

How did you make things awkward at your wedding? Just kept staying at my father-in-law. Even while I was dancing with my wife, I was just like, Yeah, that make things pretty awkward. Yeah. Did he like it? I mean, he does it like most stuffs. That's kind of odd.

There's different stages of annoyance and irritation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So normally you'd be later, is that right? Yeah, but it's not a personal thing. Sometimes, just for your safety as well. Like, you know, it's better that I come late so that everything is, you know. Listen, if you're looking for logic, you're not going to find it.

My ways are mysterious to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes even to me. I'm trying to be better, but like I have this habit of always arriving. No, I'm trying to be better, but I have this habit of always arriving. Even when I leave extra early for stuff, I always end up arriving just on time,

or like two minutes late. And my agent hates it because, no matter when I get briefed for stuff, I'm like, I'll be there, I'll be there. And then she'll call. She's like, I know you're outside because you're always outside when I call and they're looking for you,

but where are you? I'm outside. I'm outside. Just one of those things. I think it's because I was a really big fan of Batman as a kid. And like he would always arrive just as the bad guy was about to execute.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I just thought, in my way, I've saved you. Yeah, you have saved us. You're the Batman of comedy. See, that's why I should have put it on my website. Instead, I said I'm the comedy in the world needed, but never knew they wanted. It doesn't like that either. Are you one of those people who says you're outside when you're not as

well? Oh, no, I'm honest. You are outside. That's the thing. So like, for example, I was doing a gig recently and I messaged and said, hey, I'm going to be arriving just before stage time. So they started getting someone else ready to go on and I turned up and I said, oh wait, you're here. I said, I'm not going to lie. Yeah, but that to me, if someone said that to me and I didn't know about their mysterious Batman ways, I would assume that they're not turning up on time, you know? But now she knows. But now everyone knows you. Yeah.

This isn't our public record. Everyone knows that you are going to turn up when you say you're going to turn up. It's just closer to the- Just not when you told me that I should. But it's not on purpose. No. It just happens that I don't know why.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, it's the universe's works in that way. Even when I was born, I turned up just, I don't know that for a fact. I mean I was there, but I didn't check. They won't get another baby ready to go on before you. I mean there was a baby before me, my sister and I hit her. We don't get on, but that's probably what happened. We probably had an agreement and then she just showed up. Okay fine, in this case I was reading it because I came three years after. Yeah what was meant to be you the first time and

then you just knocked around in the womb for another three years. Yeah I mean I've got big brother energy you know yeah that's why I like fucking with people it's a big brother household in me. Are you a foodie the bill would you say that you like food. I mean, you could see me. What do you think? Let's just be real here. You know that if I did something wrong right now and you didn't know me, there's only two ways you would describe me, right? So you ask me whether I'm a foodie. What's a foodie?

A person that likes food. Do you think this happened by accident? Do you think that's what this is? Like, you know, I just had an extra donut a couple hundred thousand times. I don't actually eat donuts as of toxic masculinity. Oh yeah? Why is that? So I'm from northern Nigeria and I'm sorry that's for my people. You're safe now. When the revolution comes, we're giving a head start.

I don't know how to stick. Also, I have a mother in Nigeria, and we are like, most of the army for the majority of Nigerians' inception has come from my part in Nigeria. Most people don't know much about us. In fact, sadly, currently we're only known for two things, which is Boko Haram and me.

You know how you can imagine, Boko Haram is a very tough act to follow. Yeah, yeah. They're very, very tough acts, you know, they always bomb. Cheap items. So our culture, probably, we were farmers and soldiers and that sort of stuff. So everything around our culture, like as a growing up as a young boy like you give you get given from it to make you strong yeah what it will make you strong why you open in your eyes why you say that because I'm strong I don't want you know and if you eat anything sweet you were told as a boy that sweet things were for girls and like people say it

with so much conviction like it was scientifically proven. Why do you want that sweet? What are you a girl? I'm not a girl. Yeah, then why do you want something sweet? Because everyone knows the sweets are for girls. Yeah, you give it to them on their birthday when they're angry with you. That's how it works. And I thought, yeah, that makes perfect sense. So growing up, we just didn't have a lot of sweet stuff. So now, even now, because my wife is South Asian and they have a big culture of desserts, I kind of hear my uncle in my head, what are you doing?

What is it? It's a trap. It's for her. Oh, no. So yeah, I'm working through that, but unfortunately I struggle with sweet stuff. I do like sweet stuff, but I feel bad after even though I shouldn't. Yeah. Oh, it's interesting.

Yeah. It's been drilled into you. I mean, it's a tense episode for me then. I'm a big dessert boy. Yeah. I love it when people make a good... No such thing as a big dessert boy in northern Nigeria. Yeah, there you go.

It's not. It's like, I get turned away. That's a big dessert boy. That's the... Trying to feel how I would even translate that in my language. Actually, yeah, probably I won't say it, but yeah. Yeah, probably a couple words for that. Yeah, I love food.

I think it's amazing because it's the quickest way you can share your culture with someone. I can't teach you my language in a day or my history, but I can make you taste it. And in the food that comes from because you eat what Nigeria, for example, there's a whole history as to why we eat like that, where the ingredients come from, when we eat those things and why we eat those things on specific dates. So that's something that I really love about, not just my culture's food, but all food. I like what it represents. Well, let's start, we always start

with still sparkling water. Ah, still, still water. I can't drink sparkling because I believe it's regular water that the Illuminati farted in. Illuminati farting? Illuminati farting? I had an Illuminati farting party. Yeah, exactly. Yes! You know. You know. I haven't done it in a long time. Wake up, sheeple. Wake up. And not only broccoli, sheeple. Wake up.

And not only broccoli, it's man-made. Yeah. Broccoli is man-made. Yeah, it's not real. Yeah. It's not real. What are your sources for the broccoli's man-made? Google it now. Broccoli is a man-made. Currently googling. But what do you mean by man-made? It comes out the ground, right?

It does now. Interesting. But what do you mean by man made it comes out the ground right? But say when you say it's been like synthesized in a Trying to turn us into communists wake up I'm waking up truth is out there sheeple It's bro. So but it does googled broccoli manmade. Yeah. Top here is broccoli manmade. Contrary to the claims of some skeptics, broccoli is not a genetically modified or manmade vegetable. It is a naturally occurring plant that belongs to the same family as kale cabbage and cauliflower. Lies. Lies. He switched him before I came in. Because he knew. I thought you would understand. I thought there was a chance that you'd fallen into the trap.

But now we've got Backgarden.org. Oh yeah. It's the answer in 2020, December 2020. And it was updated this year. It's Broccoli Manmade. And they are saying, the short answer is yes broccoli is man-made Broccoli as we know it did not always exist as a plant that was created by humans for an extensive process It is not known exactly how many years ago broccoli emerged But it is believed the early varieties of this plant appeared more than 2,000 years ago. That's Jesus times Yeah, and that's post Jesus actually when 22 is 20 years after Jesus. They made broccoli. Do you think that's a coincidence? No.

So I told you people the truth is out there. You don't trust broccoli because it's manmade and you don't trust sparkling water because it was made at an Illuminati Farty party. And it makes you get sharty. So it's got to be still water all the way. It's got to be. Now you're drinking a 7-up there. Who's done a farty in that?

What you need to understand is that to help the sheep, you must become like a wolf but still be among the sheep. You must be a sheep dog. I'm deep under cover, bro. Okay. Yeah. I'm trying to find how they think. So you're not going to be drinking farts right now? Synthesized farts. Okay. I'm trying to find how they think. So you're not gonna see your drinking farts right now.

Synthesized farts. Yeah. Because it comes with a flavor. Yeah. But water on its own, with gas in it, that's an affront to God. Could you imagine it raining, sparkling water? I quite like that actually.

You deviant. Fizzy water. Fizzy rain. So acid rain. Yeah, I'd love that. Bad. That just sounds like a very, very bad remix of a Prince song. Fizzy rain. To be honest, every remix or cover of a Prince song is bad. Yeah. And done by the Illuminati and pharma companies. So you think big pharma are covering Prince songs? Yeah. What's the aim there? They're trying to devalue his legacy? I've said too much. You know who invented broccoli?

A big pharma. No. Ed doesn't do jokes like that very often, Abil. What do you think of a medium apropos? It's very telling that he's trying to cover things up. Yeah, yeah. A big pharma, do you think of me? Did a proper telling that he's trying to cover things up? Yeah, yeah. A big farmer. Do you understand? So it's a I've changed the meaning of farmer. It's a mean I'm well aware of what you did.

I think you'll find for a profession. I am. Listen, you're stealing the truth. Yeah. Stealing the truth. I'm willing to believe that sparkling water has a luminati farties in it I am and I you know still what still water is the way to go I'm just checking see if that water fizzes brother. No, that's still water I was drinking a glass of water at the minute and the bills guys eyes firmly glued to the class Yeah, we can get you still water in the room

We must stay focused my brothers We must stay focused my brothers We must stay focused Pop Lombs Up Red Pop Lombs Up Red the BLM machine Pop Lombs Up Red What have the Illuminati done to the Pop Lombs I'm just uh Very militant so I don't like crackers

Oh yes That's, no come on You can't give Big Pharma nothing and then give the crackers joke a round of applause. I like it. Yeah. I liked it as well, but I like the Big Pharma joke, and you guys gave me absolutely fuck off with that. Nah, I was rubbish.

Comedy isn't a meritocracy, how much you learn? So you say bread, but it depends. It depends. Like, are you talking about non-bread? Because actually we, there's a type of bread I want to talk about today that we've caught, So you say bread, but it depends. It depends. Like, are you talking about non-bread? Because actually, there's a type of bread I want to talk about today that we've got, but that would probably work well as a starter. Right.

So yeah, we've got, like, there's different versions of bread you can have, non-bread, I guess. You could have, like, a paratha, or you could have, like, a viturati. Oh, viturati's amazing. I don't know if you guys have had Romesh on. And did he mention Vichuroti? I don't think he did.

I don't think he did. I mean he hates you. He hates you. Yeah, for making this deep fried. I mean he hates you. If he didn't mention Vichuroti, it's like imagine heaven stretched out into a thin dough. And just made into it.

It's just so good. It's like a roti, but with the same kind of consistency as a pancake, it's so soft. Oh wow. Yeah, and like if you've ever had Malaysian food, because they have a thing called roti chanai that we eat with their curries, it's a similar sort of thing, or like a trini roti. So it's not tough, it's really soft. Those are very nice, yes, I like. How much did you choose that for your bread course then or is there anything else in the running?

My bread course, this has nothing to do with my names or my side dish or my starter. Yeah, yeah, just whatever you want before the mail. Whatever, yeah. I'd have a roti chana, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I like roti chana. So what can I get the curry with as well?

Oh, interesting. I'll respect that. Yeah. Do you want a little? We can a little a little bowl of curry. I think yeah I love Indonesian food in the Malaysian food. I love and I discovered it by mistake. Yeah What was the mistake? All right, this is this is I've never told anyone the story before but I was a debt collector for a while Uh-huh and one of the guys I used to debt collect with was a martial artist. And in a situation which I will not go into detail about,

I saw him do some weird shit to this guy. Not in a sexual way, but it could have been, to be honest. be honest it was so fast. Paul Basterd had no chance man. It was just, yeah. It was like Jason Boneshit but it was so fast. And there was no one shaking any camera. Like this guy did real life shaky camera Jason Boneshit to someone. And in a perfectly legal situation.

And I was like, yo, what the hell was that? And he said it was Pencak Silat. I'm like, what the hell is Pencak Silat? Like it's this Indonesian, Malaysian martial art and you can learn it from. And then I was like, who taught you? He's our guy called Steve. I'm like, fuck off.

But then we meet these people who train Silat. And you know, I got into into I've always been into on one martial art of the other since childhood, because I got diagnosed with ADHD when I was really young and asthma, right? And they're like a good way to work with both issues was to channel my mind and stuff into martial arts. I've always had an acute fixation with martial arts and movement and stuff. So I went with him when we trained with this guy. So this guy immersed himself in Indonesian culture. So we had the food we were learning, the culture, the traditional, all of it. And I discovered so many amazing dishes. Like I always described like my mom asked me why I like how I'm Malaysian food. I'm like, it tastes like Chinese food cooked by a Nigerian.

Right. Like the kind of spices and flavors. And yeah, and that's how I discovered, you know, they have a dish that's like Jalof rice called nasi goreng. Yeah. Yeah, they've got like cha kueh teow, the flat noodle, which is a lot like a Pad Thai.

Yeah, so they've got their own version of that. It's just so cool, so much interesting stuff. And there's a loss of knowledge between their food, our food, and Filipino food. And if you hadn't seen someone get beaten up, you wouldn't have taken that. I never said he was beaten up. No, no.

Said he did some weird shit. Yeah, that could have been sexual. No. But that sounds like a great breadcrumbs. Yeah. I love it. So what's the little bowl of curry that's coming along with it? So curry I am, I mean, I can actually make

a decent curry I am, you know? But like a lot of the time, if you have it as a starter or just as a side, there's no meat in it. But the sauce itself, mainly it's from chili paste, tamarind, coconut milk, onion. They'll normally shred a bunch of onion, garlic, galangal, which is this weird, almost bastardized ginger garlic combination thing that smells amazing.

They make that into a paste, fry it, add in your chili, add in your onions, curry leaves, then they have a special curry powder that they make, which is a pain in the ass to make yourself, so you might as well just buy it from the supermarket. They throw in some palm sugar, coconut milk, cook it just till it congeals a little bit, you can see a little bit of oil separating and like all the time they can make it with fish, chicken or curry and it's very unique to most curries like most curries are a savory affair but the Indomade curries have like a nutty sweetness to them as well as spicy and it's just amazing if you're someone that doesn't want to have because like and I can say you know Indian food Indian curries are great but they can be heavy on

the belly but Indomalai Asian curries for some strange reason just don't have the same effect on your gut and I think it's because they don't use ghee and stuff. Because like, I think the Majapahite Empire passed through that part of Asia and they brought the Indian influences on food. But then the Chinese influences also kind of remained as well. So it's like a marriage of the two. But each country you go to in that Golden Triangle area, they have a different ratio of like indigenous, Indian, Chinese. So like in Malaysia and Indonesia, there's still like a very strong Chinese element. But then as you go further down, some parts of some parts of these countries, it's a much more Indian, the Philippines, it's more indigenous, but there's still elements. So yeah, sorry, I love food. No, this is great. This is absolute.

We got a foodie in the house. Yeah, yeah. That sounds delicious. I never knew everything you just said. Broccoli's my man. And also, if you want to try good Indonesian Indonesian food, Rasa Sayang, which is literally a straight line from Seoul Theatre, it's in Chinatown. Amazing. Or Uncle Lim's in Croydon. Or your dream starter.

My dream starter, okay now, because I'm homesick, because my mom's just come over from Nigeria. So I grew up in Northern Nigeria in a place called Kaduna from the word Kadda. And my language means crocodile. And Kaduna means loads of crocodiles, because apparently before human beings kind of settled there,

it was just crocodiles. And we live near a river. Now Nigeria itself is named after rivers. So there's the river Niger, and you know who came over and drew a line around this river and called it the Niger area and then they couldn't be bothered to give us a proper name so it's just called Nigeria. So we're near one of the rivers that off-suit from there called River Kaduna which again,

river of loads of crocodiles. So we love seafood and we love barbecue. So to start off the meal I would say we do this thing called Balangu. Now it's not good or eat some. If you drive down the streets of Northern Nigeria, you will find people like roasting a whole lamb or a whole sheep or a whole goat. And it's roasted a very specific way, smoked for hours. And then you pick what part you want. And they slice it off into a newspaper. You have to get to a newspaper, right, on a plate, it's just not the same. And then they sprinkle a special

chili powder on it called Yagi and give you like some salad, red onions on the side. And now there's this special, I don't know what it's called, bread or cake, what you can have with it called Weina or masa, the different words you can use for it. weyna or masa, the different words you can use for it. And it's made from fermented yogurt and rice paste, yeast and a bit of sugar. And then it's cooked in like, it almost looks like the sort of thing

you make cupcakes in, but you cook it over a fire. And it's a little bit crunchy on the outside, but super soft on the inside. You can make it for meat dishes, it's slightly different. And then you can also have it with savory dishes, stews and soups and stuff. So what they'll do is they'll get those little rice cakes. They look a lot like, they look like crumpets.

They look like crumpets but they're whiter. They just cut them into squares and sprinkle it over your Balangu and your chilies. And that is perfect starter. And you can have fish, Balangu you can have, then there's also something called Suya. I know you must have, I'm sure you've had Nigerians on here before. We've spoken about Suya before. But if they're not from the north, what they call Suya is fake. Because we created it, right? Everyone bites our culture, but they don't like it.

So like traditional Suya, it has to be made with a marinade made from nuts and beans and paste and the oil. So you guys use so much nuts in your cooking in Nigeria. What about Nigerians who have nut allergies? They're extinct. So culinary Darwinism, they're extinct. But you must try it, honestly. Suya and Balangu, normally will be sold side by side. So Suya is meat on sticks. And then you have a whole fish. And we have an ice surrender chicken.

It's basically chicken that's like this. Yeah, but it's not. We call it ice surrender, or ice wed to God. Oh, yeah. And you grill it, and it gets kind of, you have like a little mixed grill situation. And that is the perfect starter. Wow.

So are you having just the lamb or the lamb and the chicken and the fish or what's the... I mean, I'm assuming we're having this meal together. Well, we can do. Yeah, we can do. If that's your dream. Meals are best shared. I don't like eating by myself.

Yeah. So, you know, I would say, yeah, I would get that. So, and a mixture of different things, just so we can try it. Cause even the awful in the cow is, or the goat or whatever, is grilled the same way. And I'll be like, I would never eat intestine, but then you actually try it.

It's like, oh, actually, that's not bad. And besides, it's in sausages and stuff, so. You should eat the whole animal. If you're going to... I'm a big believer in that. In fact, I went back home on Eid. And so we have a traditional... we have a sultanate in northern Nigeria and they stretch back, like, even around the time of the Ottoman Empire, they never interfered, they respected

our Emirates. So, like, like we're predominantly Muslim by 90 something percent Muslim in the north I think we're the last people to hold our traditional rulership uh the all the invaders that came to Nigeria could not destroy um the empire it stretched from northern Nigeria to Ghana to Sudan parts of Morocco like really really huge empire so I speak the widest spoken language in West Africa, second widest spoken language in Africa. There's actually a BBC whole service in my language,

Housa, the, yeah, so we had Sultans and Emirates who ruled over us in traditional rule and English could not get them out of traditional rule or make us stop practicing our faith. So they had to compromise with the North and say, okay, look, we'll rule you guys indirectly because we're tired of fighting. Just how about that?

And we're like, okay, fine, because we're tired of dying. And so they still maintain that rule. So even though there's a democracy in Nigeria, our traditional rulers still have some level of power in the North. And every year we have like a legendary king who went on this battle and he took out all the corrupt rulers in the North. He went by horseback with a bunch of his relatives and they cleaned the North of like despotic rulers, wish he'd come back and do it again.

But every year on Eid they reenact this legendary mission he went on and his descendants sit down in chairs and the best horse riders do it, they charge towards the royal family and stop with their feet. And the king never flinch, never lose. It's just a big thing. And then my grandfather was the our second ever High Commissioner to the UK and he nearly got killed in a coup. But because he grew up with the guy who was King at that time long before he became King, that King lied and said to my grandfather was part of the royal

family. So you can't, you know, you can execute democratic rulers, but you cannot touch royalty. So they let my granddad go even though it wasn't no royal. So as a mark of thanks until this king now has passed away, al-Rahmanullah, but up until his death, we would go every Eid to visit him. I've actually, I can actually show you a picture of me and him. But like we would go to say thank you, I'd go with my mom, and then they'd give us like a ram or a goat or something to slaughter for Eid.

And this last trip I went with my mom, we got given a ram and I named him Ram Bro. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you know, there's this thing that rams do where they stomp their feet on the floor and point their head to challenge you. And like this guy kept on trying to escape from the boot.

So like we went back and he untied himself somehow. And then he like challenged me to a duel I didn't oblige we tied him back up. We stuck him in the boot and when we got back home like we fed him and fed him up For like a week before, you know The inevitable and you know, I had a bond with this animal and I feel like if you can't kill an animal You shouldn't eat one And waste not you know, so we used the skin to make a rug. We used different ligaments for string instruments

and things, as you will come and collect it. Everything, everything from the animal had to be used. And you know what, out of respect, I may try seasoning them properly when I cook. Yeah, yeah. At least I could do, you know. But I know I'm like, oh my God, you couldn't, I could never like, you know, I saw an animal like oh my god you couldn't I could never like you know I saw an animal like or they see fish like they go to these places where you get live fish and then they can't eat the fish

Yeah, to me that's a property you should be able to mm-hmm sure You know cuz if everything went to pan tomorrow, you know eventually it's Tesco's and stuff would be empty You'd have to hunt and kill your own Yeah, you say the chicken is surrendering. Yeah exactly. Are all the other animals in that position when they're on the side of the way it's a little flipper on the fish. Well actually tell you what the ramp's upside down so it's kind of like a. Yeah yeah that's proper surrender if it's a fair down. Yeah I mean yeah. If you were in a war are you like come out out of here. And they came out standing on their hands with their legs.

Yeah, they're proper surrendering those guys. Yeah, all trying to plan. Yeah, all trying to plan. You think that's a plan? I mean, if you had a road raid incident, the guy got out of the car doing a handstand. Yeah. Especially in Brazil, because they got like the cup with.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm getting back in my car. If it was that guy he used to work with and he got on his hands, you'd be like, no way. I'm about to get that guy's, that guy's about to kill me or fuck me. The back. Turn me to a frex.

I'm not even gonna know. I want to suck with. There's nothing to think. It's hockey season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice rank on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Goal tenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes.

Because those are groceries and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. Your dream main course. My dream main course. Chihu! Okay. Man, it was this, this, this. Your dream main course my dream main course okay

This this this there's so many runners up. I was thinking like off other rice is one I don't know if you've ever had that no on here, but off other rice is um It's a special grain of rice grown in Nigeria, but there's a story behind it. So like a lot of soldiers Were deployed in World War II from Nigeria, they were deployed first. Well, you know, they were convinced to go fight for Queen and Country. They were deployed to Burma. My great uncle was one such person. He was deployed in Burma and he had a lot of funny stories there. Apparently he got married out there anyway. apparently you go and marry it out there anyway. So, a lot of people lived out there and learned how to grow certain crops and they came out

with a species of rice from Burma and they crossed it with Nigerian rice and one of the breeds of rice that exists now is Ofada rice which is a distinctly pungent rice and it's very heavy so like a kilo kg of offata rice looks a lot smaller than a kg of regular rice and it takes a lot longer to boil but it's supposedly something of hipster would call a superfood you know like it's packed with all kinds of nutrients and stuff and the Nigerian army brought it back and we eat it with a stew called Ayamashay or designer stew which is made from an ungodly amount of chilies like Scotch but like Nigerian food is hot I'm sure you realize that but this is food so hot that even most Nigerians think yeah you can only have that

like once in a month or something like it's super hot so it's um you make a stock from goat meat So it's, you make a stock from goat meat, right? Put it aside and then you blend about six green bell peppers, about six red onions, and about 14 or 15 scotch bonnet chins. Some ginger, some garlic, you then fry in palm oil, and of course, ethically sauce palm oil, because in Nigeria, our palm oil is gained simply. We don't burn orangutans to get it, please. So I have to say that, because I did.

So I was your master chef and I used palm oil. So I comforted, you monster! I'm like, did you even read where I got the pop salt? Just to preempt that. And you fry it in palm oil, you probably woke off for a little bit and fry. And you'll laugh and flash between your eyes. You then add the stock back in.

You can roast your meats before you put them in the sauce just to give it a little bit of crunch. And you serve it over or fatter rice with some fried plantain on the side. And traditionally what we would do is we would wrap it in banana leaf for a little bit before opening it and you eat it in the banana leaf. That sounds so good.

So that would have been my main. But I thought you guys already had Nigerian meat wrap it in banana leaf for a little bit before opening it and you eat it in the banana leaf. That sounds so good. So that would have been my main but I thought you guys already had Nigerians here. Yeah. Like while that is Nigerian it's not distinctly northern Nigerian. So I would go for something northern Nigerian. Something distinctly northern Nigerian would be Mian Taushe. So Mian means source of and Taoshi is pumpkin. And like with a lot of Nigerian foods that like we'll have like a basic like how Cajun cooking has like a

roux or whether we or Jamaicans have green seasoning. We have a thing where we'll blend onions, tomatoes, chilies and so on together. And then what we do is again, we'll boil a me of choice, keep the stock. And while you're boiling is again, we'll boil a meal of choice, keep the stock. And while you're boiling them, you also boil a pumpkin, right? Cover the insides and you fry your sources in your oil, adding the mash from the pumpkin. And then very, very specific raw organic peanut butter that we make, when you add it in and toss your meats in. And we can eat that with ground rice. Have you ever had ground rice or seen it?

It's kind of like, you know, how you've got like mashed potatoes and stuff. So we have similar concepts in Nigeria where we can do it with rice. We can do it with yam, plantains, but it's still like a general term, you could call it sualo or fufu. And you can use your hands to eat it.

So we have those in the north, we can make it from rice, we can make it from maize, flour, semolina, pick your poison really. And we would eat something like that with miyantauche and it's a sweet, nutty, spicy dish, it's amazing. Last time I went home, like auntie's kept on sending it, my wife did not complain. Honestly, It's amazing. Last time I went home like auntie's kept on sending it My wife did not complain Honestly, it's amazing. And also you have to have like a bit of spinach or kale in there as well

Once it's done, you just put a bunch of spinach in there and it wilts and it's a delicious dish, man Oh sounds like I've never heard of that before. Yeah You're right that we haven't had that. I don't know if we'd had a photo rice before. Maybe we hadn't, but like, we definitely haven't had me and Tal Shae before. Yeah. Yeah, I wish there was a way I could describe how it tastes because it's so good and it's so different.

Yeah, the pumpkin and peanut butter in there and then all the other, that sounds so good. That sounds like kind of thing you'd buy from Marks and Spencer's head. I was just thinking, I wonder if Marks is doing it. You'd love that. Tell you what, I've walked through places like atros and Marks and Spencer's and I'm like, you know what?

Posh White folk do eat a lot like Africans though, because I saw like a container of goose fat and I'm like, we use fats as well. Yeah. There's a replacement for oil and things like that. So yeah, I'm like, hey, I guess we're not so different after. Your dream side dish. Is there anyone here mentioned Moimoi to you before? No. Really?

No, I don't think so. You've had Nigerians on here that haven't mentioned Moimoi? I don't think they have. A bunch of plastic Nigerians. What the hell, man? I'm going to get in here and then they will somehow talk about Jalof. I'm not even going to talk about Jalof first. We often get bogged down in the Jollifors.

The Ghanayans versus Nigerian Jollifors. Right. Silly. That's the kind of Nigerians that argue, and the kind of Ghanians that argue about that stuff, would need Google Maps to find their way around if they went back home is what I'm saying. That is the most basic aspect of our cuisine.

The most basic... It's bloody rice, bro. It's right. I mean, yeah, and the thing is neither of us invented it. Senegal did. But like, you know how stupid we must look to Senegalese people. I'm a version of this Senegalese dish. Shut up, man. No. Honestly, I love Jalof rice, right? But it's like African food one on one. But if I had the friend that I'm not sure of, like he's invited to cook out, but I'm still not quite sure. I will give him Jilof. Like that's the most basic African dish right next to white rice

and stew, right? It's just basic. And then when I think your levels, then I might introduce you something like pounded yam and a goosey soup or you know something like that but Jalof, I, well, I, that's like arguing about who makes fish and chips better. It's the most, black, it's the most basic dish in, I mean, it's good, it's better than all other rice dishes. You know, even Ghanian Jalof rice is better than 90% of rice dishes.

Ghanian Jalof rice is brilliant. It tastes almost like the real thing. You know, but, but now in all seriousness, it's down to who cooks it. Yeah. And plus, Nigeria, we've got 300 tribes. Everybody makes it different. I would say ours is the best because we are the closest to the originators, the Senegalese, culturally, we're very similar to them.

But then there's people from my tribe in Ghana too so so yeah I don't have I don't really I make fun of Ghana because it's a national requirement but honestly I have no I've been going this fight yeah but yeah moimoi is a good side dish or akara similar thing so you get beans ground into a paste and you can get put in like a boiled egg in there or whatever you want in the paste. Put it in a mold and steam it. And it comes out like this really high protein

bean cake type thing. Or you can fry them and it becomes like buns, but it made from beans. Wow. And in Brazil, they're eating as well. And they're called a cry. But you have to go to Bahia and northern Brazil because a few, a hundred years ago,

a bunch of West Africans were digging there on work experience. And it was quite an experience and lots of work. And yeah, but like a lot of traditional Nigerian cuisine or West African cuisine can be found in Brazil, even other parts of South America. I think other South Americans have something called tamales. And again, it's a very similar sort of thing. So again, you could boil it in a mold or if you want to be super traditional, banana leaves.

You boil them on the side. Thing is, if you eat all these things in combination, you're going to fart yourself into orbit. Like, you know what I mean? You never fart anyway. No, I don't, I don't wanna. If you're eating this meal, you wanna make sure you're not doing anything

for the rest of the day, right? You can't. Okay, I'm gonna ask you a question, right? Just, I don't do toilet humor. Sure? But I just wanna know if it's only me Yeah, have you ever farted so hard that it pushed your balls? Like you sit down Let's push your balls to get

I mean I I've done it. I've probably done the tickler, but I've not pushed. I've not pushed my but I don't know. Like I didn't push the fuck in my yeah, sure. Yeah. Yeah. So much power, but that's what I mean. I'm not struggling. Bullsie. But I've not seen much Dragon Ball Z. No, I think I know where you know about the spirit ball. I don't know. I think I know where you're going with it, but I think I've probably felt the fart on my balls.

But it didn't push. It didn't move the balls. It didn't move. If you see what I mean. Is that what happens in Dragon Ball Z? No. Is they fart and push each other's balls around? I mean, maybe off camera, but you have these...

I've been in the car. These like the cami, like these massive fireball things that they do it was like that on Farty like I had to stop what I was doing and take a few minutes to just collect myself and eat more and more is that what it was? Yes. Your dream drink. This is tough. My wife's already probably angry with me because I've not put in anything from her culture.

But there's one thing of hers that, so there's three runners up, right? There's a drink called Zobo or Sobo and it's made from boiled hibiscus leaves, like dry, really dry, from the hibiscus flower, boiled with ginger, cloves, cinnamon, and some other shit. And it's boiled till the color is extracted into the water, and then you add a bit of sugar and maybe some vanilla flavoring. And once chilled, that drink is probably one of the best things I have ever tasted in my life

Right like I don't do alcohol. I've never tasted alcohol in my life But if that drink was intoxicating I'd be body gumbo like it's that good So that there's that then there's a Nigerian Chapman drink which till today Nobody's sure exactly how it's made made. And it was around for a specific period. Only one restaurant anywhere outside of Nigeria makes it and it's called Enish. We've heard about that in the podcast before. Yeah, I'm convinced that there's like a witch doctor there who just opens up a portal and it bleeds into a jug because honestly I don't even know how to describe it. It's like, we would try and make our own.

Like we'll try and mix like phantom, coconut, then put some grenadine in it or something, and lemon. But like cucumber, all I know is that cucumber is an essential part of that drink. Right, okay. Yeah, Nigerian Chapman. And obviously, non-alcoholic version. I know there's an alcoholic version.

Nigerian Chapman is another drink so good that I'm convinced it must be really bad for you because yeah There's no way God will allow such a thing to exist And taste that nice and it's harmless. It probably shaves years off your life. Oh, yeah, I don't know what it is I don't know. Yeah, it's really good so. Then there's mango lassi, which is, you know, anyone who's ever stumbled into an Indian restaurant at some point and asked for something to help with the spiciness of their food. Knows about lassi and that drinks amazing

and it's also great for your bowels. Yeah. Yeah, it's fantastic. Why you look at it for five minutes and nodded? Because he looks constipated. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give him the tip. Yeah, there's nothing coming out of that.

His balls haven't moved in years. No, station me. Don't worry, he might be saving it up for that one day. Nigeria wedding day. So yeah, those three things. Oh, just apple juice, man. Iian wedding day. Yeah. So, yeah, those three things. Oh, just apple juice, man. I love apple juice. It's amazing.

Yeah, it is amazing. Anyone who doesn't like apple juice is a psychopath. You had apple juice yesterday. We went for lunch. Yeah, and you didn't come. I knew there had to be something about you, I'd like. I don't know. I would have apple juice twice, and I expected

Ed to make fun of me for it, but it didn't happen. Yeah, but it was in a nice place and I felt like they probably did apple juice really well. It wasn't like they were... Yeah, it was freshly juiced. Freshly juiced. Have you ever had guarana? No. Didn't they put that in boost bars once? Yeah, they did. So, weird story that there was this guy in Nigeria who, again, I think he was a corrupt politician or something, but he was married to a Brazilian woman and so she opened up this business in Nigeria and she just imported loads of Brazilian

stuff over. And for some strange reason there was this drink, like you could have a Fanta, but made with Guarana, called Brahma Guarana. And it was nuts, it was a big part of my childhood, like the drink. And I never even knew it was Brazilian until one day when I walked past a Brazilian like supermarkets, I live in Croydon, and then we have a huge population of Brazilians, and I walked past them and I said,

oh, and I saw all these things from my childhood. And I was like, I didn't even know all this stuff was Brazilian. That being said, like growing up, there's a huge Lebanese influence in the north. So like we have a lot of Lebanese Nigerians, probably Palestinian ethnically, but they had a Lebanese passport and they moved to Nigeria when I was like a kid. And growing up, there were so many.

I didn't know Lebanon was another country. I just thought Lebanese were a tribe. Nigeria. So there's a Nigerian show armor, which is different from a regular Lebanese shawarma. Oh, cool. Yeah, so there's a whole bunch of, like, so that's like a subset of Nigerian cuisine that no one even really talks about outside of Nigeria. But, like, yeah, there's Lebanese Nigerian cuisine.

So, which drink have you settled on here? Which is the dream drink? I was gonna go with apple juice, but you had it yesterday, so. You won't choose apple juice but you had it yesterday, so. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha spoiled it man. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, be. So there's a bit in all the different drinks you were listing that I think a lot of our listeners who've been listening for a long time will be, will listen to and they'll go, why didn't they pick him up on that? And I'll tell you why. So when you said mango lassi, a lot of them will be listening and going now. Christian Guru Murphy came on the podcast, told these guys it's pronounced lasssey. Ever since then they've pronounced it mango lussey.

Why are they not picking Nabil upon this? It's because Nabil is very knowledgeable about loads of things. So I'm assuming that- Turns out you've been getting it wrong again. That I've been getting it wrong because the news reader here cannot know as much as Nabil does.

I'll tell you by reason, I'm saying lussey. I know it's lussey, but to be fair, I'm sure there's a whole bunch of stuff from my culture Christian and Guru Murphy can't say. So fuck him. And you know. Finally this is the feud that people have been waiting for. The P. L. A. T. O. Rashid versus Christian and Guru birthday. If you can say T'Wolj and Kaffir, the Mian Tauje, right? Then, okay. I'll call it Lassi, but till then, it's Lassi bitch. Just like the dog. Dream desert.

Chihu. Close second is Fura de Nono, which is for a steamed millet, makes with fresh sour cream, yogurt and brown sugar and left to chill and soak. We have these, there's a tribe called Fula, Fula Ni people. There's loads in west like Nigeria, Guinea-Bissau, Guinea-Conakry and all of that. But you can even find them as far across Africa as in the East, in Somalia, right? And they're mainly Castle Rairs, like most nomads.

And like those that still practice the nomadic stuff, you know, you see some, they walk down the street and they have this like color bash, so big wooden ball, and it's a ball within a ball, within a ball. They carry it on their heads in the summer. I remember as a kid you'd stop them and you'd ask for some for and Somehow they did it in such a way that was insulated so it was cold

But there was no technology was just the wood and some cloth and stuff And they would put like a little bit of the millet They'd mash it and then they pour the cream and yoga into it and you'd have it in the summer and it was so good. Millet, especially when it fermented for a little bit, had this lethargic effect on you. It was really relaxing and it was like it was sweet and sour but it was a dessert. It was almost like imagine the same texture as not even a rice pudding because there

was liquid in there and there was a bit of solid like chewiness to it but not like tapioca balls. I don't know how to explain it, but it was good. It was really good. Is it, it's obviously sweet because it's got the brown sugar in it, but is that a girl a girl's sweet or can boys have that one?

It's a manly sweet. Because it's got spiciness to it as well. Oh, nice. Yeah. So that's one of the few sweet things that you could have and no one could call any names like that. I was, yeah. Because it's got a bit of spice to it, yeah.

You have to suffer a little bit. Yeah. It makes you strong. It's a dessert that makes you strong, yeah. That's to say we're not fired up. It makes you strong. It makes you strong. Harsh was, it makes you strong.

So there's that. Or my wife, her auntie makes a dessert. I think it's a Pakistani style bread pudding called shayitukre. And I don't know how it's made. I have no clue. It's one of those things that I think is better, I don't know.

And again, it's one of those things that probably if you have four in a week, it will kill you. Because it tastes that good. Four? Yeah, I don't know. It tastes that good. Can't be good for you. Yeah, just, it can't.

That must, you said four there, so that must mean that one week you had three. Yeah. And I'm just glad to make it out alive. You know what? It just felt too good. I must be sitting somehow. Sweet, cinnamon-y, bread-y. Oh yeah. Yeah, it's fantastic.

Did you have anything on that, custard or anything? There's some kind of yellow stuff on it. I don't know whether it's custard. I don't know if it's just flipping condensed. I don't know whether it's custard. I don't know if it's just flipping condensed. I don't know what it is. There's like, they had like, you know, the dried rose petal thing. There's in a lot of South Asian desserts.

And yeah, I don't know what the hell that stuff was, man, but it was good. I love how obviously knowledgeable you are about like Northern Nigerian cuisine and you know everything that goes into it and how to cook it. And this thing was so good that you're like, don't tell me anything. I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I also thought it's a dessert and you know everything that goes into it and how to cook it. And this thing was so good that you're like, don't tell me anything. I don't want to know.

I also thought it's a dessert, you know. Yeah, of course. Yeah, of course. I can't know how to make it because... Yeah, it's got rose petals on it, of course. Yeah, yeah, you are. You're lucky that you're eating that in Croydon. It's the loose-gaz pack.

Excommunicated. I'd have to get a Ghanaian passport. So which one did we decide on? I think the second. Yeah. It's just because I don't want my wife being angry with me for not presenting. Sure. Yes. You have ever seen your whole life here?

Yeah. You as a person across the board. Yeah, yeah. No, Ed's very… I'm very excited to down a bill because this is the part where James reads the menu back. I read you your menu back to you. So, James now got to attempt to remember the pronunciation of everything that you've listed. Oh, this is going to be good.

Right, Nabil's put his hands behind his head. He's reclining his seat. Like a lamb. He's ready. He's surrender. Also, let's not forget that he is reading a list that has been written by the Great Bonito. Here we go. Still water.

Pulp of Nones of Bread, Roti Kanai with Kari Ayan. Yeah. Starter. Mixed meat and fish, Balangu with masa bread. Yeah. Main course. Mian Taushe with ground rice. Kakiota, very good. Side dish, Moimoi.

She's actually smashed it. Drink, Zobo. Dessert. Oh no. Shea, he took her. I did all right. Yeah, you did. You did really well. But I could feel every time Nabil said a dish, yeah, I could almost hear you going over it in your head over and over again, practicing how to serve. I could almost hear you going over it in your head over and over again practicing. How's the set? This guy's never had a McDonald's. What's going on? Come on.

I gotta say this stuff. Actually, in Morocco. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because here they're not in here. Hello. No. McDonald's. You had a Muroc McDonald's.

Yeah, he didn't like it. I held you in high esteem until now. Oh, yeah. Because you did the pun earlier. Yeah, we all laughed at fucking Ram, bro. That's great. You know, some people get away with it. Ram's brilliant.

Nebile, that menu sounds absolutely amazing. Sounds incredible. Like, quite often there's like things that me and James like, I would like to try that, but there's things I didn't know existed and I can't wait to try them. I'd eat every single bit of that. If you'd like to give any of this stuff a try, there's a place called Baba Foundation in Norbury and he actually is a house-a-man like me, so he's from the north of Nigeria and like especially when it comes to our

barbecue stuff, he does it all including grilled pheasant. Oh wow,. I'm doing that. Wow, Baba Foundation. Thank you so much, Nabil. Thanks for having me. Thank you, Nabil. Thanks so much to Nabil for coming into the Dream Restaurant. Thank you, Nabil. What? That was an amazing episode. It was an education.

It was hilarious. Yes. We barely had to do any work. Yeah, thank you for that, Nabil. Yes. We barely had to do any work. Yeah. Thank you for that, Nubian. Yeah. Just honestly, just completely enraptured by him. Just sat there, let him tell us history about northern Nigeria, about the food from that area, and then just laughing and laughing and laughing. Yeah. The debt collected, that was funny. Yes. That was good. That's a great time. Yeah. Loved it. Absolutely loved it it. And also very happy he didn't say the secret ingredient, purple carrots, James.

Which Bonito pointed out, he probably would definitely not pick that because people may count that carrots aren't meant to be orange anyway. Yeah. And that's like man-made. Yes. And the purple ones are how they're meant to look. Yes. So Nabil probably would not trust the orange carrots anyway.

Yeah. Would prefer the purple ones. You know, and you know, trust the orange carrots anyway. Yeah. We'd prefer the purple ones. You know, and you know the word orange James. Yeah. For the fruit. Mm-hmm. And we use it for the color. Yeah. The color is named after the fruit, which is named after a man. What? Yeah. Jason Orange. Wow. The fruit was created for I think is William's William of Orange, or one of those guys. Yeah. So they called it the orange. Yeah.

And then that color, we now call orange because of the fruit because of the guy. That's crazy. Yeah, and I'm sure I'm wrong and someone get in contact and tell me. You know what else I just thought? Right. Jason Orange, yeah? Yeah. I never met or heard of anyone else with a surname Orange.

Is it just him? William of Orange? That's off, William of Orange. Yeah. Yeah. I never met or heard of anyone else with a surname orange. Is it just him? William of Orange? That's off William of Orange. But like Jason Orange, I've never met anyone else. So hello, my name's Barbara Orange. Yeah. I guess his family. Yeah, but where are the, I've never heard of them. Yeah, but you're not going to have heard of them because you know, they're not famous, but I'm sure his family, the oranges never even heard him talk about. Yeah, that's true. I think it might just be him. Yeah. Why don't we get him on and ask? I'd happily get Jason Orange on the podcast.

Secret ingredient, there'll be an orange. Don't forget Nabil is on tour, the purple pill, go and see that show. It will be absolutely brilliant. Check out his website and social media for details. Come and see me on tour, hotdiginydog. Ed Gamble.co.uk, buy my book, Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy.

Anything you want to plug, James? When's this going out? New Year? Happy New Year, everyone. I guess I'll plug my audio sitcom Springleaf. My album, Partigator Purgatory by Temps, my book, James Aker's Guide to Quit in Social Media. Going to go on tour in the new year. As of recording, not sold out yet. Heather's welcome. We're too busy, man. Why are we doing that?

Too talented. Too goddamn talented. Yeah, that's true. Apart from with our diaries. Yeah, not very talented but then. We will see you next week in the Dream Restaurants. See you next week in the Dream Restaurants. Love you. Love you. Love you. Anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats.

But meatballs, mozzarella balls, and air and chini balls? Yes, we deliver those. Moose? No. But Moose Head? Yes. Because that's alcohol and we deliver that too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, groceries, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now.

For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. Hello, my name is Ian Smith and I'm Amy Glettel and we are from the Northern News Podcast where we take a deep dive into the bizarre stories we find from the north. Hey, and if you like food and I know know you like food actually, because you're listening to Off Menu. We've got stories about pigs getting coaxed off roundabout with crisps. We've got stories about gravy wrestling in carparks. We've got stories about restaurants getting one-star food hygiene ratings.

And record-breaking Yorkshire puddings. And we've got special guests, which you remember from off-menu episodes such as Maisie Adam, Tim Key, Rosie Jones, Fatah El Gori, Phil Wang and he hasn't been on off-menu but we've got Kevin Kennedy who played Curly Watt as in Coronation Street. Take that eh, caster. So please give a listen to the Northern News podcast. Every Thursday wherever you get your podcasts.