Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 242: Carrie Brownstein

Episode Date: April 17, 2024

‘Portlandia’ star and half of Sleater-Kinney, Carrie Brownstein, joins us in the Dream Restaurant this week. And we now have some ideas to pitch to Dragon’s Den…Sleater-Kinney’s new album ��Little Rope’ is out now. Buy it and listen to it here. Sleater-Kinney are touring this year. For dates and tickets go to sleater-kinney.com Follow Carrie Instagram @carrie_rachel Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, it's Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu podcast that you're currently listening to. I am on tour now. The show is called Hot Diggity Dog. Make sure you go and get yourself a ticket. I'm probably coming to a town near you if you live in the UK and Ireland and Ireland, Dublin and Belfast. Do go to EdGamble.co.uk, buy yourself a ticket and I'll see you for an evening of Hot Diggity Dog. Hot Diggity Dog! Thank you, James. Welcome to the Off Menu Podcast shucking the oyster of conversation, adding the shallot vinaigrette of friendship and maybe a few drops of Tabasco humor.

That is Ed Gamble, my name is James A. Castor. Together we own a dream restaurant and every single week we invite in a different guest. We ask them their favourite ever star of main course dessert, side dish and drink, not in that order. And this week our guest is... Carrie Brownstein. Carrie Brownstein of course a wonderful musician, part of the band Sleter Kinney, James. Amazing band and also I mean one of the few people who has straddled both the world of music and sketch comedy. With ease and with great success across both worlds. Yes, with Portlandia. Not easy to straddle with success. Well, almost

impossible, I would say. I can't think of many other people who have done it and definitely you haven't, you know, who've done both to such a high standard. I can't think of any comedians who've started doing music and it's been good. But Portlandia's fantastic, Sleater Kinney are fantastic and we're very excited to have Cary on the podcast. We are indeed. Sleater Kinney's new album is out now. It's called Little Rope, James. Yeah, I'm very excited to hear it. I'm a big fan of The Woods, their album, The Woods.

As you know, I was telling you about it. I listened to it yesterday. Yeah. You told me yesterday and I walked to my gig from these very studios and I listened to the album and I absolutely loved it. Yes. Right up my street.

Love recommended Ed stuff and he loves it. I've got many streets by the way so if you've not heard them and you're thinking oh it's right up Ed's street it's going to be some horrible sort of screamo metallic hardcore album. It's not like that but there's definitely some sort of discordant sort of noise. It's noisy, just how we like it here at the Off Menu podcast. We love noise. Now even though we love Carrie Brownstein and all of her work, if she says the secret ingredient, an ingredient which we deem to be unacceptable, just like all the other guests, we would have to kick her out the podcast. Very sadly we would have to do that as is

our duty and today the secret ingredient is a thimble of Italian soda. Very specific Portlandia reference. Yes. The cinema concession stand sketch. Yes. We won't spoil the sketch for you. You have to watch it yourself. Yes. We never spoil the sketch. But a thimble of Italian soda. Yeah. Which I mean, look, in Portlandia, they're skewering some of the more hipster tendencies of people in that area. And with the food stuff, I do find myself looking at the foods

that they mentioned on Portlandia as a joke and think, well, I'd order that. Yeah, you would have those things. It probably sums up what sort of person I am. It does. We all know Ed Gamble, but let's get to know Carrie Brownstein. This is the off menu menu of Carrie Brownstein.

Carrie Brownstein. Carrie Brownstein. Welcome Carrie to the dream restaurant. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Welcome Carrie Brownstein to the dream restaurant. We've been expecting you for some time. Really worried I was gonna get like toast everywhere. Yes, we should say for the listeners, shouldn't we,

that James has just had peanut butter toast. Right, and I pointed out that that's something that I eat for breakfast often. Yeah. There you go. And I never have it. And yet I just felt like there was something inside me today. We're very psychically connected already. So we could do the show silently.

It would be unfair for the listeners, but we would get it. Yeah, it we could do the show silently. Yeah. It would be unfair for the listeners, but we would get it. Yeah. It would be the best episode ever. You would have to talk. You're not connected with us. Oh yeah, that's true. I did have some toast this morning.

Does that count? It does count. Why did you have it on it? I put some Marmite on it and some fried eggs. Oh. How do you feel about that? That's like speaking a different language to me. Marmite, I can't know marmite,

but I will say I prefer it over a Vegemite, both of which I've tried. Yeah, Vegemite I can't get on with because it's kind of close to Marmite, but it doesn't represent my childhood in any way. It's too close, but that makes it more different. I like how you're pronouncing it, Vegemite. Like it's just full of veg.

Yeah, you know, it's a big pot of veg. Yeah, big pot of veg. How's it meant to be pronounced? Vegemite. I think it might be Vegemite. I'm sure the Aussies pronounce it very specifically. Vegemite. Yeah, there you go.

There we go. Good impressions. Yes, great. All the Australian listeners are just giving you a big thumbs up. Yes. When were you last in Australia? It's been a second. It's been maybe since 2016.

What about you? Good question. Great question. Ed was last there. Oh, you were really just there? Yes. Okay. In May, yeah.

That's why I'm good at the accent because- It's the only reason. Yeah, just the proximity, the amount of time. So recent. Mine has faded since I've been there because obviously when I'm there, I tried to really immerse myself I've got some people appreciate that. It's like when you go to France you speak French when you go to Australian

Australian you speak Australia. Yeah 2019 for me. Okay. Sorry. I didn't ask you Yeah, also like annoyingly like it was like maybe I went straight there the New Zealand and then came. And then when I came back here, I started playing Pokemon Go. And very annoyed that they were regional Pokemon in Australia or New Zealand that I could have caught if I'd started it just like a couple of weeks earlier. Oh, you should go back. Then then, yeah, I have to go back. You have to do a tour.

That quick little trip over there. Yeah. How far is it from here on a plane? Takes about 24 hours, right? Okay, yeah. It's a little shorter from the US, but not much. It's that surreal feeling where you've been in the air too long and it just starts to feel like you might never land. I love that though. You do? Okay.

Yeah, I love being enclosed on a plane watching films. Drinking wine. Yeah, drinking wine. He gets on the wines immediately this guy. Yeah, I mean, they say that hydration is better, but I do understand the inclination to just start drinking pretty quickly on a flight. And then layover, I'd layover in Abu Dhabi, I think it was. Okay.

And I was in the, I was in the airport having a beer and then I looked at the local time and it was a 6 a.m. and I thought this is, this has got to stop. Yeah. Yeah. Did it stop? No, no, no. It stopped when I got to Australia. I got back on a normal schedule then but the 6 a.m beer at an airport did not feel good. I don't know. I think he felt pretty good. I know that he just met you Carrie so he's trying to act like he didn't feel good. No, I said to smugness too. It feels smug. It feels like you're proud of yourself. I'm proud of it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I bet you're feeling good about the new Sleek bikini album,

new rope. Little rope. Little rope. Fuck off. It was such a good link. Fuck off, I was so... It was just, yeah. It said new album, little rope.

And what I've done as well is I've gone, there's a gig called Old Rope in London, comedy gig that we do. So then that's got in my head as well. Oh, we're still connected. It was a really great transition That was the problem he was so proud of the link. Yeah, that he then just completely dropped the ball on the name You're like Icarus there

I'm not what happens to me. I hated it. But like I love it when other people are really confident and fuck it up Yeah, yes. So if I was you guys, I would have really enjoyed that. Yeah. Big applause here. Little Rope. Little Rope. And then you can, what the hell was that? Little Rope. Yes. Little Rope. Apologies.

And of course it's following up your, I mean, you've had so many great St. Kenny albums in the past, The Forest. Oh, The Woods. Yeah. Oh shit. You know what the name of that album is. You were telling me about that album yesterday. Yeah, yeah. I did it deliberately that time. That's a good callback. Yeah, yeah. It's a little bit of fun for me. Yeah, we're excited that it's coming out. Well, we, I have a bandmate, Corin, but I'm here alone, so I'm personally excited. I don't want to sound like I split into two or anything.

And yeah, we'll be back to tour with it. How you feeling about that? Do you like being on the road and touring with music? I love playing the show. I mean, you guys tour, so I'm sure, I mean, you have your own stories, but I don't love sleeping in a different bed every night. I don't love the sort of disorientation of being on tour.

I get a little tired from that, but the shows themselves are great. I just wish I could transport myself back to my bed every night. Yeah, that would be amazing. I used to love that. I used to love staying in hotels and being in a new city the whole time.

Now, no way. Can't wait to get back home. I'm opposite. Really, you love being on tour. I love not- Everything but the show. I'm opposite. Really? You love being on tour? I love not. Everything but the show. Yeah, basically. Correct.

I know you said that as a joke. But I hate the shows. I love being in the hotel. I love service stations. I love service stations. I've been in the car, been at airports, all that. I love it. Really wish I didn't have to do the gigs. The fans must love that.

Just knowing that. Yeah. Pretty much what my entire new show is about as well. So I'm saying it to their faces. Are there any songs on this new album, Little Rope, that you are excited about performing live, that you're like, oh, that'll be, or can you even tell before you've done them?

That's a good question because- It's a good question, thank you. So it used to be, before can you even tell before you've done them? That's a good question because- It's a good question. Thank you. So it used to be before everything was just thrown up on YouTube, I don't know, like, do you preview material before you go on the road? Stand up. Yeah. Yeah, we have to though. We have to write it on stage.

Right, that's true. So, yeah. Well, with music, we used to perform all the songs live almost before we went to the studio and they're not always done necessarily. They'd be like, you know, temp lyrics, or maybe you would end up changing like a bridge or chorus, but you could feed, what was great about it

is you could test the songs. Like you test, I guess your material on stage where you can feel the energy of the crowd shift. So you think like, oh, this part is too long, or this bridge isn't working, or this chorus isn't strong enough. So that was a good way of helping to like arrange the songs or know when you had to change something.

We don't do that as much anymore. So I don't necessarily know. We will probably test out most of the album live. And then every album has one or two songs that you just realize is not going to work live. But I think this one, there's only 10 songs on it. We recorded many more, but we purposely made it pretty succinct.

I think they'll all be good live. They have a lot of energy and restlessness and all the things that make for good live music. But Hunt You Down is a good one. That will be an untidy creature. There's a lot of bangers on this album. Just a lot of things that have, I don't know, feel very explosive and galidy creature. There's a lot of bangers on this album. Just a lot of things that have, I don't know, feel very explosive and galvanizing.

And those are my favorite to play. So I think that's like anytime I've had to do, like, I don't know, some sort of public speaking that isn't comedy. I just feel without the laughs there, I don't know if I'm doing a good job or not. Some comedians do shows where there's like loads of long bits with no laughs that are

really emotional and everyone goes, wow, that was such a great show. I think maybe I should try that. And then within a minute of being on stage with no laugh, I'm like armpit farting, just desperate to get the audience back on the side. Guys, please, I'm so funny. That'd be good. I'd really like to see you do that as a routine. Try and do an emotional bit.

Start a really emotional bit and then start armpit farting. Because you're panicking. It essentially sums up my shows. Yeah, yeah. I'll be up for that. as a routine, start a really emotional bit and then start armpit-panting, because you're panicking. Essentially sums up my shows. Yeah, yeah. I'll be up for that. Yeah, and that, I think that speaks to some things, just, I mean, that's very real.

Like that is such a, that's so childlike to just be like standing there feeling sort of figuratively very naked and exposed, and just then doing something so base, that you get some kind of positive reaction. No dignity whatsoever. Yeah.

I'll also try armpit farting during our sets after a slow song. Your fans would want a really loud armpit fart. Amplify probably through a distortion pedal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really discordant armpit fart. Yeah. Something with a lot of delay on it. Yeah. Really go for it.

So before we started recording, we were talking a little bit about being a foodie. Would you call yourself a foodie? Would you go for that? Well, I think what we were talking about is that that term feels divisive and some something like a misnomer because of course, like if you like eating, I guess you're a foodie, but it has this connotation of suggesting that you only like fancy food or food made by a certain caliber of chef or a restaurant that's been rated by a critic

or sort of collectively named as best of. But yes, I love food. I like checking out new restaurants. One of the reasons I like traveling is to find a local restaurant that it doesn't even have to be everyone's critically acclaimed, just this is my favorite place to go in this neighborhood. I like seeking that out.

So in that sense, I'm a foodie, whatever that means. I like to eat. Also like you did Portlandia, that is a very foodie city. Well, it was because it's hipster-y, I guess. You got the foodiness. Yeah, well, I think one reason Portland has great food is because it was, it's not as much anymore, but relatively affordable.

So you have these chefs that are entrepreneurial and innovative and they get kind of priced out of Los Angeles or New York or Chicago, where it's just, it's more treacherous to try to start a business there. So they come to Portland and they're to try to start a business there. So they come to Portland and they're, you know, people really want a new restaurant.

You know, they're eager for cuisines and art, haven't, you know, really made their mark there. So you do get a lot of great restaurants commensurate to the size of the city. Like I think Portland has as much great food as LA or New York, except that there's, you know, half or a fourth of the people there. I had a pasta dish from Portland on my dream menu

when we did our 200th episode. You did, what was it, what, from what restaurant? I'm gonna say the name wrong, probably. Magna Cuisina, Cuisina? I don't even know that one. Well, there you go. That shows you how much great stuff's in Portland. Yeah, Magna Cuisina.

Yeah, so good. Downtown. Yeah, they did the mama's crab fat noodles. I don't know who mama is. So you like Portland? Oh, you like their food? Yeah, I like that. I like that pasta dish. I wasn't there for very long I was there for my gig and then out. Well, my experience was I had that meal It was the whole meal was amazing and then I got in an uber and the uber driver said to me No alcohol in the car. You can put that on the road. Dad is not coming in the car. And I was like, this is a diet coke.

And he was like, I think he pushed it further and said, I can read. I know that isn't, I know that's a beer. And I had to show it to him. And then he was like, oh. And then I got in and then we were in silence for a while. And then he started being like, support that's crazy, right?

And I was like, man, come on. I'm gonna give you five stars either way. Yeah, but that guy must have been through so much if he has to say, no, I'll call in the car immediately as everyone gets in. Think of what that guy's been through. As soon as he saw the cat, he was like, I don't know what's gonna happen.

Do you call those roadies in the UK? No, but maybe you'll start calling them. Gonna start calling them roadies. In the US, I think it's more of a Texan term. Like you used to be able to have open container or we call it open container. Obviously that's fully illegal now, but as a passenger, you can never drink and drive.

But in Texas, at least everyone else in the car could be drinking. And you would just call it a roadie. You would take the, you know, as you're leaving the bar, take one for the road. Love it. Bot for the journey. Bot for the journey. Bot for the journey, yes.

Which one of our previous guests, Emily Atak, that's what her family who, and we said this to her face, all have a problem, call, take it, when they go somewhere to drink, they have to have a bot for the journey, just a bottle for the journey. Oh, so that you're, it's seamless. So there's never a break in the drinking you pre game at home. Yeah. Bot for the journey. And then I've forgotten completely about bot for the journey.

I think about a lot. I just stopped thinking about what he was talking about. We all stop still sparkling water. Do you have a preference, Carrie? I put still for the sake of this meal. I really think, I love sparkling water, but I think still is a more neutral water. I think that sparkling water lobby has really done one over on us.

I think still water is perfectly fine. It is amazing that they've managed to, the Sparkling Water lobby, as you say, have managed to wiggle themselves onto the same level as Still in a restaurant, you get offered both. Still should be default, right? Yes. You should have to request Sparkling.

I think so. I think it goes better with food too. Not all food, I like Italian, like Sparkling Water is great with Italian food. But I think for other foods, like Japanese, like I would much prefer still water. I don't want sparkling. It kind of, it does something to the palette, I think.

Yeah, if you've got those more subtle flavors, sparkling waters attacking the palette, isn't it? Yeah, just a lot of like zings and zaps. I do love sparkling, like a refreshing sparkling water, especially with a lot of bubbles, like a Topo Chico. How many bubbles are in a Topo Chico? That's like a contest where at a state fair where they... And when it comes closest,

you would get like a pig to take out. I couldn't tell you the actual number, but I would say a lot, millions. Millions. Yeah, it's actually, it I would say a lot, millions. Millions. Yeah, it's actually, it's come out that that way, it's unhealthy. There's actually something in there that's not good for you.

I don't think I've had to have a topo chico before. I've never heard of it. It's quite good. When you next time you come to America, check it out. Should I just have it straight away in the airport? Oh yes, yeah, right when you land. Yeah, yeah. And then down it in one in the

middle of the airport and then shout, I love to go really loud. Is that how I should do it? Yes. That's that's how they do it there. What do you imagine the people of the Sparkling Water lobby? What do you imagine they look like and how many are there? Oh, that's interesting. Well, I think they're well dressed. I. I feel like the sparkling lobby, they're well-dressed like a crisp white shirt, maybe a black blazer suit jacket, signature glass, statement glasses on a few of them. Like really round glasses? Round, yeah.

Like bubbles. Where you're thinking like, you're right, shaped like bubbles, yeah. Where like they could be architects. They wanna think of themselves as creatives. Yeah. Yeah. I'm imagining loads of them as well. Oh, you're imagining loads.

I was imagining like just five. Oh, okay. But you're imagining like, they're actually like bubbles. Yes. I wasn't damn and imagine anything yet because I wanted, I know it's come from you. Oh yeah.

I was imagining like a small group that has a very powerful, inordinate amount of power. Yeah. We're just thinking like, wow, these five people have really changed the way that we of power. Yeah. Yeah, we're just thinking like, wow, these five people have really changed the way that we drink water. Yeah.

And you know, and then there's just one person that's wearing like a colorful tie and that's the person that adds the flavor to the sparkling water. Yeah. You know, just a guy with like red glasses and like some like socks that are a little wacky. Yeah.

Yeah, and he was the first guy that said, what if we added a little raspberry to this? Yeah. He's like the, I think it's like the Steve Wozniak of the group. He's the Wozniak. He's getting screwed. Yeah. Yeah.

Like he's coming up with a lot of stuff, but like he's getting screwed. Yeah. And there's like a lot of other people who are taking the credit. He's going to write that book though, that we're, yeah. He's the disruptor. Yeah.

There's going to be an Apple TV series. Yeah. Definitely. Oh, the podcast first and then the documentary and then the limited series. I can't wait. Also, I'm a bit tense now for the podcast. Cause I don't know if you noticed, but there's a point there where Ed said

they would have round glasses. And then I said round like bubbles. And then it was like, yep, that's what I meant. And listen, we're putting a good face on it now, but when you leave, that's going to be a blazing row. It's going to be really bad. I set them up for the cleverer listeners, and then you make it clear for some of the stupid listeners.

So that's fine. Pops lobs or bread, pops lobs or bread, Carrie Browse team. Pops lobs or bread. Bread. I lived in Los Angeles for a little while and I was shocked at the lack of bread eating there. I think bread is, it's grains. I mean, how can we be denying ourselves this? If I had to choose a daily choice, I would say bread.

And did you try and evangelize about bread in LA? No point, no point. I was gonna say, I'm not surprised to hear that people aren't eating bread in LA? No point, no point. I was gonna say, I'm not surprised to hear that people aren't eating bread in LA. It's just reflexive. Someone comes, I don't even know why they offer it anymore. Like even at a restaurant where you should be getting bread, again, Italian food, you know, that's just common.

You just, in America at least, I know in like proper Italian restaurants, even actually in proper Italian restaurants, you get some bread. They come, would you like some bread? Everyone declines. And I just, I sit there very hungry. Also, croissant sings in the morning. Like I love, I know it's not the healthiest thing, but coffee and like croissant or some kind of baked good. It's just, it's shocking to me that people don't eat bread there. Do you think the restaurants even have any bread or do you think they've learned now that everyone's gonna turn it down?

If you'd said yes to bread, they'd really panicking. Right, they're running to the store. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so with just a bit, they just present an entire loaf of slice bread from the grocery store on my plate. Right, and then the whole restaurant turns, like a record skipping,

and everyone turns to look at me while I eat bread, and they're pointing. It's like a horror film. That would be a great horror film for Los Angeles. It's just a woman ordering bread in a restaurant while everyone else throws up. Yeah, I didn't, I loved when I went back to Portland, or would travel anywhere outside LA,

just watching people eat bread. Not even necessarily eating the bread yourself? No, just watching people eat bread. Not even necessarily eating the bread yourself? No, just enjoying the scenery. You're already being conditioned so you can eat it anymore, but you could watch people. Yes, my bread, I had it had been diminished. I had to work back to bread eating again. Yeah.

Climb back up. Is there any particular type of bread that you would like for your dream meal? There's this bakery in Portland, Dos Armanos, and they make really amazing bread. And they do, I guess they're buns or rolls, but they come in, I guess it's a round loaf that they've kind of scored. So you can sort of pull off these little rolls. And with some olive oil, that's a perfect bread to me.

But their bakery is good overall. I also love like a whole grain or wheat bread, like putting some like a cheese on top, a Manchego. I wouldn't want burrata. What's the cheese that's a soft sheep's cheese on bread is great with like some tomatoes. Why aren't you putting burrata on it? You can't dangle burrata in front of us like that.

I mean, I love burrata, but I think burrata, you don't really have that with bread though. Yeah, I guess, yeah. That's more like basil, tomato, olive oil, maybe some prosciutto. Maybe put some croutons on there, that might work. Oh, croutons, yeah. A bit of a cluster.

Croutons also a great use of bread. Yeah, although I still get weirded out by the massive croutons. It doesn't make me feel good. Which ones? You mean the size. The ones that are too big. Oh, too big, so not copious, not the amount of croutons, but the size of a crouton.

Yeah, I want them like to be like as big as like a 2P max. Even that might be a bit too big for me. I like little ones, maybe like a pound coin. Well, how does this grab you? When I was growing up, my mom used to make a salad, right? And she would just slice a baguette. So it was like slices of baguette and do them as croutons. So they're the size that big.

That's fancy, that's sort of French, right? That's just a little fancy and in a good way. I couldn't do that. Really? Oh, nuts. That's nuts, Karen. Really? Oh, it's nuts. That's nuts, Karen. They're like, that's too big for a crouton. But I'm not asking you to swallow the whole thing.

But it's just semantics here. Like if it wasn't called a crouton, would you eat it? Yeah. What if it's called like- What if it's called bread? Yeah, little toasts. Little toasts, lil, just L-I-L. Lil toasts.

L-I-L, yeah, L-I-L, yeah. I'd have Lil Toast. Which is also my rap name. Did you do a rap now? No. I do not know how. I wish more people did that. Did what?

I wish more, I wish more celebs who are rappers, when asked to do a rap, said, no, because I don't know how to do that. But instead, a lot of them just do a rap. Yeah, freestyle. Real badly. I mean, that would be real false advertising.

If that's what you were known for, had put out records and then when it's called upon to rap, you said, I actually don't know how. I cannot do that. I cannot. If Kendrick said that, I figured it's the funniest thing ever. He went on a radio show and they said, can you freestyle?

He went, I actually am not very good at that. I'm very honest. I actually don't, I can't do that. It'd be a really funny thing for him to say. Well, with other, like with, as a guitarist, there's certain things, like some guitarists, like I'm much more riff based. I can do some solos, but I'm not like,

I'm not like Stevie Ray Vaughan. So like, if you said, can you play a Stevie Ray Vaughan solo? I would have to say no, but maybe it would be, I can see how it'd be tricky to just turn down a freestyle. And Ed did. I turned it down. You still have a chance. Very impressive.

To date, I've always turned down freestyles. Yeah. I've never done a freestyle. I don't intend to do one ever. Good on you. Yeah, I also, good on you. I agree. Like she said about the solos intend to do one ever. Good on you. Yeah, I also, good on you. Right, cause you said about the solos,

we should really get into the meal proper. But like, Benito's gonna be amazed by this cause it means that I know about another podcast, which is, he thinks it's amazing that I would know. Chris Shifflett from the Foo Fighters, has a podcast where he tries to work out solos from songs. Really? Yeah, and he will often have as a

guest, like the guitarist who played the solo and taught them. Does he know they put all the tabs online and stuff? I don't think he does know that. I mean, I've seen a couple of them. You're ruining his podcast. Literally just got, as soon as this airs, his podcast is getting canceled. There's no way you can carry that on there. He doesn't trust those though. He doesn't trust them. I agree, those are often wrong. Right. Because sometimes when we do covers, I will go to the tablature.

I'll try, first I'll listen, you can sort it out, but often they're really complicated ones. You think, great, I'll go to the tabs. The other thing that you can do though, although usually you're just staring at someone's crotch, because when people do YouTube videos, like instructional with instruments, especially guitar, The other thing that you can do though, although usually you're just staring at someone's crotch. Because when people do YouTube videos, like instructional with instruments, especially guitar,

they never think, this is just a video of my crotch. And so I'm really just staring. I mean, you're looking at the guitar, but you're thinking no one thought about the framing here. Anyway, there's a lot of great crotch videos where you can learn guitar. Is there a particular guitar solo that is like your favorite by another musician,

by another guitarist who you're like, that's my favorite guitar solo maybe to play or to listen to? Oh, to listen to. A lot of the music that inspired me didn't have solos, like gang, post-punk, like it was so angular, like, you know, Gang of Four or Meekons or The Fall. It was sort of purposely devoid of that,

I guess, grandiosity. But I, you know, I really love, like, St. Vincent's guitar playing. I mean, I loved, loved Jimmy Page. Prince has some great solos. I was on a goddamn boat once with, and was it Danny Harrison was there? George Harrison's son? And only when I got off the boat, cause I had a little brief chat with him, but got off the boat, realized that should have talked to him about when he, he performed one more

guitar gently weeps with Prince. Wait, I was just going, I was literally about to bring up that solo because that is one of the best solos I've ever seen live. Also the flex of being on stage with all of these guitarists and then, and it's not even Prince showing off. I mean, that is just the soul and genius of Prince is that he cannot help but be brilliant when he plays. But also it's a new way of listening to that song, right?

Like, yeah, I guess it just transcends what the original song was, but also makes you sort of listen to it in a way where you're like, oh, this is a new meaning to this song. Like it's so beautiful. And he's one of the best guitarists ever. Do you want another meaning to that song? You should listen to the Spineshank cover of it.

That's the meaning I've been waiting for. It's been out for a while. It's their debut, but good stuff. Your dream starter. Okay. I put the wedge salad. Right. Yeah.

You have that over here. Talk us through the wedge. I think I've had a wedge in the past. Yeah, so the wedge, it feels slightly antiquated. It is iceberg lettuce, which probably has the least nutritional value of any lettuce. It's really just a green head of lettuce,

but it's pale. You know, it looks like an anemic lettuce. And you want it really cold for a wedge salad. And then they just sort of chop it in half or into quarters. And then you add blue cheese dressing or blue cheese crumbles, I guess if you were in sort of a fancier establishment,

little cherry tomatoes and bacon crumbles. And that's sort of the classic wedge. And what I really crave often is food that sort of connects to my childhood or this sort of rudimentary, like love of food that just, it's almost a little basic. So I think for this meal, I just thought like, oh, a wedge salad.

I could, when you get a good wedge salad, it's perfect. It's like basically an ice sculpture just slathered in dressing. Yeah. The lettuce is just there as just a way to give you the blue cheese dressing. And it's from the early 20th century, like around 1910, 1916, 1916.

That's when salad dressings were also coming into vogue in America, probably as a way of drowning out how rotten the lettuce was. They were just like, well, you just pour dressing over this. Your chances of food poisoning decrease. Anyway, I do love a good wedge, and they're traditionally served in like steak houses. But I feel like with a lot of food like that,

like traditional food, they sort of get remade and sort of reconsidered in like nicer restaurants where people will do like their take on something. So that's my first one. Deconstructed wedge, that sort of stuff. Oh God, right. Yes, I love a deconstructed wedge. Yeah.

Yeah. At 16th instead of house. Well, if you keep chopping it, it's just a regular salad. You've got to crumble your own blue cheese. I think it's the first wedge salad we've had on. Yeah, it might be. It's the first time the wedge salad has come up. It's very satisfying. You basically have to cut it with a steak knife.

It's a real hearty, not nutritionally, but just it's ample. There's some girth there to that salad. I love a girth, real heavy girth. A shallow salad. Yeah, no, I want. I love it. I mean, I love blue cheese on anything.

You do. I feel like a lot of people don't like blue cheese. I think it's a great. It is. Yeah. Yes. I don't respect people who don't like blue cheese. I think it's a great Yeah, yes Grown adults who have a problem with it who are like it's mold Yeah, I agree you're grown up you can't handle the fact there's a bit of mold in that But that's yeah, we all learned that we were kids that's mold in the blue cheese. Everyone knows that.

But if, okay, I get it. But it's the mold. If people don't like something, that's fine. But it's people who will see you eating blue cheese and go, how can you eat that? It's got mold in it. That's a particularly aggressive kind of person that won't let you enjoy what you're eating

because they have a strange relationship to it. That happens kind of frequently. Like people make comments based on their own issues with food. Especially with blue cheese. That really brings them out of the woodwork. But especially with blue cheese, yes. My mom's a vegetarian.

She's a lovely woman. She listens to every single episode of this podcast. But once I ordered a mixed grill and she went, I'll give you bowel cancer. Oh. Ruined it before even, ain't it? Sport your birthday, didn't it? Might as well have been my birthday.

I don't even know what, sport the meal. Yeah. I was sharing that with my dad. That's a special moment as a man. You're sharing a mixed grill with your dad? Massive mixed grill. Oh, great. Massive.

He's my hero. Are your parents still together or was it like a pointed sort of? Well, as far as I know, they are still together. I haven't spoke to them since yesterday and who knows. That would be incredible. I mean, it would be tragic. If they, between yesterday and today, right?

I don't know. I don't know if it would be. Will you text your mom now and say, are you and dad still together? Yes, okay. I wanna confirm this. I will do it if he wants me to Will you text your mum now and say, are you and dad still together? Yes, okay. I wanna confirm this. I will do it if Ed wants me to. Cause I wanna be able to support you

if something has changed. Yes. Cause now that mixed grill is gonna have even more meaning for you. The last time you were with your parents when they were together. You and dad still together. Is that what I should say?

Yeah. Okay. And don't say it's for the podcast. I'm not saying it's for the podcast. I hope she calls. Yeah, yeah, she might do. How long have they it's for the podcast. I'm not saying it's for the podcast. I hope she calls. Yeah. Yeah, she might do. How long have they been together?

40 years. That's sweet. That's enough, isn't it though? Maybe just over 40 years. That'll do. Knock it on the head now. Yeah. Get out while you know what.

Well, that's the thing I think, because like my whole life they've been together and they've been a very sweet couple. So I think I'd find it really funny if they got divorced. It made me laugh quite a lot. Yeah. Yeah. I think there you go. Immediate. Yeah. As far as I'm aware, have you heard otherwise? That's what you said. You said as far as I'm aware. Yeah. I think, I think I've both said it. Text your dad. Yeah. But she worked. We'll be waiting days for that response. And said you might be divorced.

Just gonna tell her that. So that she knows that that's why I'm asking. She's a lovely woman. Lovely woman. I agree. I don't even know her, but keep me posted. Also apologies to your mom because I feel like I've chosen some fish and meat almost in every course. But you started with the wedge salad.

Started with the wedge salad. That's good meat. But it has bacon. Oh sorry, I wasn't paying attention to the fall. No, it's fine. I was thinking too much about the blue cheese. You could do, there is something in America called bake, Baco Bits. Yeah.

And they are vegan. They're actually vegan, but they emulate the flavor of bacon. You're making a book. Oh, you love them. Okay. Ben loves them. Ben's a veggie. But Ben, your face was telling me you didn't love them. That's your face of love.

Okay. So when you love something, it's that face. Okay. Well, if he's in a room with us, that's the most love he can muster. Okay. Well, anyway, BacoBits. So for the vegans out there, well, the blue cheese wouldn't be vegan. For the vegetarians out there, you can do a wedge salad with bake-o bits. Bake-o bits.

Yeah. So that's a shout out to bake-o bits. And if the people at bake-o bits want to send us some, then Benito would love it. I will take bake-o bits as a way to just veer me towards vegetarianism. So send them to me too. Oh, to your house? Okay. Yeah.

Hold on. Let me give my address. You can put them on your rider for your tour. Oh yes, yes. Just sprinkle them on anything. What is in your rider for your tour? Do you have any outrageous demands? We don't really have outrageous demands. First of all, you're paying for the rider.

You know, that sort of thing. Yes. People forget that. People forget that. So I think there's no reason to make, there's so, there are a lot of gratuitous writers that we've all Heard about but I just think listen they wanted that and they paid for it Yeah, you know one thing that I heard I've heard about that actually sounds amazing or socks like clean

Socks would be great. I would take a fresh pair of socks on tour white or black some basics Yeah, I would even I've been away for about 10 days now. I only brought one pair of black socks, which was a very amateur move. And I will admit that I've just been re-wearing them. And if someone delivered to me on a backstage rider, a fresh pair of black socks. That's gonna be a great show.

It's a great show. I would throw my others out immediately. Yeah. You know, Carrie's just got the new energy tonight. I don't know what's going on. It's the socks. There were socks on the rider. Yeah.

The new socks. The new socks. But no, mostly just basics, you know, sandwich making ingredients, tea. There is some tequila on there. We're not really big drinkers before we play, but it's nice to have a drink afterwards. For a while I had a Vitamix

so that I could make a smoothie when we got to soundcheck. How long did you keep that up? Yeah, that sounds like- Was disgusting. Yeah. Also, you cannot guarantee that the fruit is going to be fresh. Yeah.

You know, cause it's often just someone, a runner basically, it was what they call the people that go shopping for you, for your rider. And I can't expect them to spend a lot of time like hunting down fresh fruits. So it would be green bananas and moldy blackberries. That's not something you want to blend together. In your head about it was such a good idea

before you went on the tour. It was so healthy. It's gonna be the best tour ever. I'm gonna have a smooth, fresh smoothie every time I get to the venue. Also, no one's cleaned that Vitamix. It's one of those vitamins. Yeah. I'm also making me your fucking socks. My mom seems to be fine with all that now.

Okay, good. I'm glad. But they're still together. They're still together. But do you think it put an idea in her head? Yeah, maybe. I feel closure though. I'm happy for your parents.

Are your parents still together Ed? No, no, no. My mother just tends to be asking me if me and my girlfriend are still together. Should I say no for a laugh? First of all, that would be so sweet if she thought that was your way of initiating a conversation about a breakup,

is to say, hey, are you guys still together? Because I'm not. I'm gonna check to see if we're in the same club. Yeah, just going through a breakup, you and your mom at the same time. Oh, and a mother son on a dating app. Yeah, yeah. I love that as a dating app that we could create today.

It's kind of a daddy daughter, mother son. So the picture would be James and his mom, the profile picture. Looking for a father daughter. What a specific dating app, sons and mothers who are looking for father daughter pets. Well, well. We're looking to make a new family. There's something a little

heartbreaking about it, but also very sweet, very sweet and also slightly weird, slightly weird. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is this weird as well? My conversation with my mom's finished now, but wait, because she just said, please don't text me. Well, no, it doesn't say type in and with my mom, it either says type in or she's not going to text because she's very quick to text back. Yeah. So I know that's over now. So you, you and dad still together as far as I'm aware, have you heard of

wise ed said you might be divorced. Why might that be? He said, if I hadn't checked recently, then who's to say, well, I guess there's some truth in that. Yeah, I guess so. Are you and your girlfriend still together? And I said, yes, we're in love. And she said, well, that's good. Isn't it? Dad and I are in love too. I said, yeah, that's good. I'm glad to hear that. That's it. End of my conversation with my mom. Yeah. That's a, that's a short story right there.

Yeah. James is the perfect product of both of his parents. Like that conversation with your mum there is like a conversation I would have with you. And then your dad is just chaos. Chaos, okay. But in a good way, in a sweet way. Yeah, yeah. In a very sweet way. Are you in love with your... Is this the first time your girlfriend will hear that? Yeah, she's nice. They'll be going out for four days.

Yeah, yeah. She doesn't know much about me. We're going to have to release this episode in two years time to make it seem okay. My mum has just texted me asking if Ed and his wife are still together. Yes, yes we are as far as I'm aware. In love? We were, yes, this morning we were in love. This is the first radio ad you can smell. The new Cinnabon pull apart only at Wendy's.

It's ooey, gooey and just five bucks with a small coffee all day long. Taxes extra at participating Wendy's until May 5th. Terms and conditions apply. Your dream bag calls, Karen. We should get away from this. I apologize. This is also a little pedestrian, but when I was a kid, my mom got a little fed up with trying to come up with meals, you know, for the family. My dad did not cook.

And so, you know, there's, well, he barbecued as a lot of American dads do, you know, but how often do you barbecue for like a couple times in the summer? Five times a week. Oh really? During lockdown, five times a week. Okay, yeah, fine.

True, true. Everyone was very concerned about it. Yeah, I'd lost my mind. Okay, well these are pre-lockdown days by 30 years. So my mom came up with the solution that we would put our favorite meals on a paper, write them down on a piece of paper, fold them up, put them in a bowl and we would pick it every night.

That's fun. It's fun, but it ended up, I think she was trying to prove a point because we ended up basically with the same, handful of dinners, but my sister and I preferred tacos. So what we ended up doing, we would just pick tacos every night. And so I've picked tacos, just homemade tacos,

which are absolutely inauthentic as my main meal, because I really do love all the, you have all the ingredients out, again, straying from any authenticity, lots of sour cream, lots of cheddar cheese, grated. You could do a ground beef or just beans. And I would eat about eight to 10 tacos a night for dinner. Are we talking the hard shell tacos?

Are we talking like old El Paso kits? We did do, actually, yes, hard shell, but we also had soft shell. I like to vary it. So that would be my main meal, but this is sort of, I guess, very non-traditional. The other meal that we would pick out of the bowl was a spaghetti bolognese.

So I would just want a little side of bolognese with these tacos. Yeah. Would you be tempted to put the bolognese in a taco just as an experiment? Actually, that is a great use of leftovers. Sometimes when I will make like a good meat sauce the next day for lunch, I will reheat the sauce

and put them on a corn tortilla. That's fusion cooking. It's fusion cooking. Italian and Mexican. Yeah. I'd love a bolognese taco. Yeah. So essentially, I guess we've just reduced it

to a bolognese taco, but I just, I'm very fond of that era of my family. Like it just was, we still all ate together at a table. I associated it with, you know, coming home from school and looking forward to it and helping my mom. I think she also appreciated the way that we could each set out the ingredients and it made her life easier. So then I think we just all enjoyed dinner a lot more.

It is interactive. Like if you've got to build the thing, then families have to talk to each other, even if they're just saying, can you pass the sour cream? Exactly. That's conversation. It's conversation. Also at that age, being in charge of your food, even if they're just saying, can you pass the sour cream? Exactly. That's conversation. It's conversation. Also that age, being in charge of your food,

even in that way, and yet to decide how much goes in, it feels really liberating. It's liberating and you can really mess with proportion. Because if you go to a restaurant, of course, they're going to limit you to a certain amount of sour cream or guacamole or cheese. But if you're making your own, it can be disproportionate.

You can have a mountain of cheese and no lettuce. Is that what you would do? What are your favorite proportions for the taco? Heavy on dairy. Heavy on dairy. Yeah, light on protein. I was also the kind of kid when we would go to restaurants and they would have those little like pats of butter

where I would just eat that. Straight. Straight. Straight in. Yeah. I have, I have a, still have quite a high metabolism. So I think I just was always just looking for to just an injection of fat. Anything you could store.

Anything I could store, yeah. Like a bear. Like a bear. Now, of course, I mean, this all sounds really terrible for your heart, no matter what. But I think as a kid, you're not worried about heart health. No. I think if I met a kid who was worried

about their heart health, I'd be more worried about that. Yeah. You know, if a kid was going, I can't have that up, worried about my heart health. Well, where's this kid from? I don't know, just the womb, you know. Do kids have nationalities? I don't know.

Oh, that's interesting. They're just kids? They're just kids, yes. He doesn't know. Just kids. I don't know where I'm from. It's like Dickensian adjacent there, yes. Yes, Dickensian adjacent.

He's from the past. Quite American though. Now and again he is, yeah. Quite American. Now and again, yes. American Dickensian adjacent. Yeah. There's a twang. Mr. Hankey in there. That's kid fusion right there. It's confusion. He's Mexican and Italian. Sounded like neither. He's a Bolognese taco. Who would have the most tacos in your family when you did the-

Definitely me or my sister. I mean, I think both my mom and dad held back. You know, I think a traditional amount of tacos would be three. Yeah. Yeah. Tops. But that's not enough though, is it? That's not enough.

That's not enough. I also think, especially in America, there was something, I think you guys don't have this here, where we would have those buffet style restaurants. It's really, it's a little grotesque and very indulgent, but you would just pile food on your plate. So I think there was something exciting about just a bottomless sort of tortilla, going back into the kitchen for the fifth, sixth, seventh taco.

I think so. Yeah. And doing something different with each one, right? So you might do like a traditional one to start and then by the fourth taco, you're like. Just cheese, honestly. It's gonna be a remix, I'm remixing it. I love remix.

Also, what I would often do is kind of go quesadilla at the, by the end, you know, so I would just, you have a microwave, again, not how they're usually made. Just put a little cheese on a tortilla, fold it, put it in the microwave, blast it till it's just melted and crispy at the same time. That's not the traditional way of making quesadillas

in Oaxaca or something. Just a microwave. Yeah, just stems from a microwave. I wonder, did the microwave invent any food? Did the microwave- Oh, good question. Pop tarts. Like mug cake?

What's a monk cake? Mug cake. So you put a little monk cake. Oh, the monks used to use microwaves for their cakes. Yeah. You know, like you can do microwave cake in a mug. Okay, okay, yeah. And I guess that, yeah, that must be

because of the microwave, right? And chefs do use that sometimes because you get a weird texture, like a very airy, light texture on cake. That's out of microwave is known for a light airy texture. Yeah, genuinely, and chefs will use that on desserts. That makes sense. I associate it with about 500 degrees in the core.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or the opposite, it's actually 500, sorry, 500 degrees on the crust and then ice cold in the center, which is what's great about a microwave when you're reheating. Yeah, so you get like two bites that like singe your tongue and then that cold ball of ice in the middle to soothe it. Lovely.

The wettest lasagna, that's what I think of. Yes, very watery. Yeah, watery wet lasagna with no, you can't get crispy top in a microwave. No. Awful. Do you still have a microwave? Yeah, the freaking things broke off of it. Those goddamn dial.

I think it is good for a reheat or an thawing. We don't have one. We just don't have room for one. The place we moved into. So it's just, it's oven or nothing. So to reheat leftovers, it's like in a pan or in the oven. Yeah, it helps me not waste food. Like if, especially if I've had takeout the night before,

you know, then, because to reheat certain things in an oven or on the stove. Yeah, and you get to that point where you're like, it's gonna take half an hour to reheat this now. Might as well cook some. I don't know if this is controversial, but like, I will reheat it in the pan instead. I've got the microwave option, but I don't trust it.

I don't trust it to do a good enough job. So I'll go in the pan every time. I'll get my big walk out. I love my big walk, shout out to the big walk. And like, I just put it all in there and I hate it all, just do it all in there. Okay. I didn't know you had a big walk.

Big walk, big red walk. The way you did the shout out was almost like it was a brand, but you're just literally talking about, you have a big walk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'd say- He's just shouting out to his particular big red walk. Yeah. Yeah.

He's an odd guy. I hope it returns the love. It was very earnest. It was like you're shouting out to a pet a little. Well, it's one of the few things that's like, it's coming to me from like each. So I think I was given it as a present One year when I just moved out

Mm-hmm And it's been with me in every place that I've lived in and it was always like to like everything else was like that I was taking from flat to flat was pretty rubbish. Mm-hmm, and this big red walk looked badass Compared to everything else. It was like where's he got that from? The big red walk looked badass compared to everything else. It was like, where's he got that from? Who gave him that? Cause everything else he's got is shit. And then I had to see the big red walk.

You've had it throughout all this time. Yeah. So, you know, it means a lot to me that big red walk. But what if the big red walk is responsible for your failed relationships? Think about that. What if it's cursed? Worth it because I love it.

I love that one. This is either, I feel like I'm trying to help you guys get other ventures, but great children's book, Big Red Walk. Yeah. Or another podcast where you view all of your relationships through the walk. Yeah, yeah.

I love that podcast. I like that. I'm happy to step in as a second associate producer. Yeah. Ben, you up for doing that? Ben, you're doing your loving face or your sad face? Big red walk. You know, if this guy's at the helm, it's going to do well. Big red walk. Yeah, and some people listen to any shit I do.

Your dream side dish, Carrie. Okay, for my side dish, I would go with nigiri, like a blue fin toro nigiri sushi from Misawa in Los Angeles or Sushi Park. Just something that is clean and perfect and sort of melts in your mouth. I definitely need a palate cleanser with this meal. So I just, I love the simplicity of nigiri sushi. Have we had nigiri sushi before? That's a, I think we've got a lot of firsts here. My episode 200.

Oh, did you? Scallop nigiri. Oh, also good. Also good and also refreshing. It is refreshing. Palate cleanser. Yes. Is it quite a fatty tuna this one? Yes Yeah, belly. Yeah. Oh so good. Yeah, and if it's fresh, which hopefully it is

If you're on the West Coast, yeah, it is sort of buttery. It's just and very smooth I think sushi to me is just a perfect food no matter which Variety or fish it is I could eat sushi every day, probably. What's your soy and wasabi set up for this course? Okay, so at Sushi Park in Los Angeles, they will tell you, if you get omakasa, which is where the chef just basically chooses the sushi for you until you're full, the staff there,

as they present it to you, will say no soy sauce, depending. And I think with tuna, you can do soy. So I would do a little bit of soy, maybe no wasabi. Sometimes they will put a little wasabi between the rice and the piece of fish. And that's all I would need. But when you eat omakasa, what I like learning is that soy sauce is unnecessary for a lot of this fish.

It totally is. And you eat nice sushi and you realize that. But you learn about all the rules as well of like, if you do have soy sauce, it goes on the fish, not on the rice, cause it's gonna mess the rice up. And that little bit of wasabi and all of that. And if I'm out and about and I see people eating sushi, I love telling them that.

And also- I love interrupting a meal. Yeah, excuse me, you're doing that wrong. I will come in from outside. If I see someone dining in a restaurant. Some sushi places, they put it in your hand, like directly. Oh, I've never had that. Like warm rice, put it in your hand

and then you just eat it with your hands. So there's all these amazing traditions and stuff and the correct way to eat sushi. But if I'm at home and I ordered sushi, I'm getting the bottle of soy sauce out and I'm going crazy with it. Oh, I see. I'm basically filling a cereal bowl up with soy sauce

and just pouring all the sushi. Like a little. Yeah. It's like it's a cereal. Yeah. I think Western cultures in particular, we love our sauces and dips. You know, like I love like with French fries, lots of ketchup. Western cultures in particular, we love our sauces and dips.

I love like with French fries, lots of ketchup. And I think we do the same thing with soy sauce, but I do like learning that it's unnecessary in a lot of ways. And I love the ritual of eating Japanese food. Yeah. Like it's just also it's the right size. And I feel like everything else I've put in this meal is just, it's heavy. You's the right size. And I feel like everything else I've put in this meal is just, it's heavy.

You just had eight tacos. I just had eight tacos. Before that I had a wedge salad. How many pieces of this sushi you got? Probably two. Two little bits of this. Actually, in these restaurants, probably just one perfect piece of nigiri.

Wow. Which I would want more. But in this case, it would probably just be that perfect little palate cleanser. I'm no soy sauce. None, ever. Oh no, no, no. Even with like shit sushi.

I ain't eating the shit stuff. If you're going to Itzu or something, and you know it's fine. That's a fancy place. No, Itzu is like a chain sort of, it's all, you know, in the fridges and stuff, and you just go and grab it quickly. I mean, it's fine. It's good for a quick of, it's all, you know, in the fridges and stuff and you just go and grab it quickly and it's fine. It's good for a quick lunch.

Good chain sushi. But would you not use soy sauce for that? Yeah, probably. Actually, no, even now I probably wouldn't with that sushi. I just sort of just go for it as it is. I used to, I used to put loads on it, on the It-Su one. I think with like store-bought sushi or like a sushi chain,

like we have a couple in Portland also in Los Angeles where it's a train, do you have these? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Where you're just picking sushi off the little conveyor belt, that sushi I would definitely do, soy sauce. So that's been there for a bit. It's been there for a bit.

Like a California roll, like anything that sort of has that generic quality. You almost need it to sort of moisten up the rice again. Yes, you have to re-moisten. I went to one of those sushi train places in Japan a couple of years ago, it was called Genki Sushi, but apparently it's shut now, I'm gutted, because I really wanted to go again.

And you're sat next to the conveyor belt, but there's not stuff going around the whole time. You order on an iPad, and then like three minutes later, it just comes shooting down the conveyor belt and stops in front of you, and it's fresh, delicious, warm sushi. This is making me hungry for sushi. This is, I will say, this is the first thing I've mentioned that's actually made me hungry. Yeah.

Yes, make you want to eat it. Yeah. Would you like it to come on a conveyor belt? If you can make that happen. Yeah, of course we can. If you could be one of those restaurants and put anything on that conveyor belt for a laugh. What would you put on there that would amuse you? Send it around the conveyor belt. I'd love to see a kitten come by.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not a kitten on there. Yeah, that'd be good. What about you? I like that it just goes by as well. You're not interacting with a kitten. It just goes past you. I would love that if it was all edible and then just a little kitten.

Looking at you, making eye contact with you. Yeah, a little wink. Yeah. Daring me to eat it. Yeah. Nobody. Do you know how much it cost? Yeah, only based on the cost.

I would be worried. Like I don't want to eat you. This could be thousands of dollars. In the horror film about LA that we're writing, the one with the bread. Oh, the kitten comes down and someone eats it. Someone eats a kitten. Right, because it's all protein. It's like a, yeah, it's a Mediterranean diet. Yeah, I'm thinking of like, there's like a woman there

who looks like an Instagram model, and she just unhinges her jaw and pushes the whole kitten. Whoa, whoa, this guy. Good film there, right? If there's any producers listening, any studio execs listening, we have a great idea for a horse grin. It's called Hell A.

Oh, this is great. Yeah. Oh, things like hell. You've got the pitch sorted and everything. I mean, that's the elevator pitch, but wait till we have our full deck. All the references. And then Ed does the job. I do the job.

Learn to do that. Yeah. You can't just describe that. Yeah then Ed does the job. Yeah, I learned to do that man. You can't just describe that. Creep myself out. We put a little kitten on the table in the boardroom and people are like a little shocked by it. Yeah. Like, no, we're here to be controversial.

This is not for the faint of heart. This has got A24 written all over it. Yeah, it's all us A24. I love it. written all over it. Yeah, fall essay 24. I love it. Your dream drink. Old fashioned.

I love an old fashioned, especially in the fall and winter. I usually have it with rye. It's a little spicier. And I also like making old fashions. I started making them in the pandemic, which feels sort of shameful to be talking about just the increase. I feel like it was very them in the pandemic, which is feels sort of shameful to be talking about.

Just the increase, I feel like it was very common during the pandemic that people drank more. I don't think I drank more actual drinks, but I started making drinks for the first time. I never used to make mixed drinks at home. But we needed something to do. I feel like old fashioned is a completely respectable thing to make at home as well.

Yeah, it's not like I was making a pitcher of mojitos every night. Yeah. And it has, and it's very like spirit forward. It's just, there's something kind of pure and simple about it. But I love, there's a bar in Portland called the Pacific Standard and a bartender.

He's also one of the co-in-ers. His name is Banjo, which is also the name of my dog. It's really weird when you meet someone that has your dog's name. Well, first of all, it's not like my dog's name is like Mick or John, like this is a Banjo. He's got a dog, the bartender's got a dog's name, not the other way around.

I agree. If my dog, I used to have a dog since passed away, his name is Toby and that's on me. That's on me. I'm gonna run into a Toby out there. But when you name your dog Banjo, you expect only to be communicating with either the instrument or other animals.

You don't expect to walk into a bar and meet a man named Banjo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, he makes a mean old fashion. Yeah. Yeah. I think, you know, anyone who didn't like do that during the lockdowns has got to be feeling pretty gutted now

that they missed out. It's not acceptable anymore. Yeah, they missed out on this period where. It was absolutely acceptable to be drinking at any time during the day. Although I always waited, I would just wait until five o'clock and five o'clock was so arbitrary, truly, truly arbitrary.

But it would come around and I would start the drink making. And also remember, now I think of it as very silly when you would meet up with other people on Zoom to drink together, it feels very depressing. I was making espresso martinis, that felt like a step too far. Having espresso martinis just buzzing in my own house.

There's nothing to do, nowhere to go just up all night. Barbecue. Barbecue and espresso martini, what a combo. We did the Scroobius Pips drunk podcast. We had to do that on Zoom. It was like a drunk podcast and we got drunk together on that, didn't we? It was one of the worst nights of my life. That's like that TV show, Drunk History, you know, yeah.

We've also done that as well. Yeah. One of the worst nights of my life. Actually, Drunk History was fine. See Drunk History, the thing with that is that, you know, cause it's like for a TV show, have you done it? No. The thing with that, cause they're doing it for a TV show,

they got to like be responsible. So they're like, okay, you know, here's all the health and safety stuff and all that. So they're like, okay, make sure he's eating something. And like, we got someone on standby, like first aid are doing breathalyzer and all of this. So they actually get you hammered, but in a way where you still feel quite good. So I'm getting home. I mean, the only confusing thing was that the washing machine was just on a timer came on and I was like, I literally found my girlfriend at the time. I was like, there's a ghost in there. But that is the only thing that was confusing for me. But like, I didn't at any point, you know, didn't get upset or angry or scared. Only of the ghost.

And then I went to sleep, I actually didn't feel that bad the next day. So it's physician assisted drunkenness. Yeah. Yeah. Which would be a lovely privilege if we could all do that every time. Yes. Like if there was a club, like a bar with a membership,

or a pub with a membership, and what you were paying for was this doctor to be there, to help administer the alcohols, who were having a really bespoke inebriation. I'll tell you why they'd have that in LA. That's a scene. That's just something that takes place.

It's texture. Yeah, it's texture. Yeah. It's one of those crazy doctors though. You know, with the, who wears the, that like metallic disc on their head. Oh yeah. Yeah. Like an evil doctor. I've ever actually seen a doctor who wear those.

Like, you know, in the films they wear, they have the CD on their head. Something from like a David Cronenberg film or Kubrick. Yeah. Where it's just sort of a demonic doctor. Yeah. Yeah. We could have that character in the film. I think we should. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I guess like if you did have a bar where it was like,

yeah, we have doctors on stamp who basically just help you get the right amount of drunk and all this. Those doctors would be the dodgiest doctors, right? Oh, yes. This is post medical license revoking, right? This is after they've been barred from practicing elsewhere. Yeah. Now they're working at a bar with a doctor basically in quotes at this point. Yeah. Cause they're drunk as well. Obviously they're working in a bar. Yeah. With a doctor basically in quotes at this point. Yeah, because they're drunk as well. Obviously they're working a bar every night. Yeah. Wait, we're just talking about bartenders right now.

Oh yeah, we are. Yeah, yeah. Doctors of bars. Yeah. I'm imagining, you know, Peter Stormer's character in Minority Report, where he goes to get the new eyes and he's a, yeah, just described. Your references are so modern and cutting edge, James. Well, listen, Minority Report's set in the future. So you... Fair enough. But like he's nuts, that doctor.

I would love to see Minority Report top the streaming charts after people listen to this podcast. Yeah, that's where we know we've got influence. When Minority Report gets re-released in cinemas. Yeah, when Tom Cruise is thanking you guys personally. Yeah. That's where we know we've got influence. Yeah. When Minority Report gets re-released in cinemas. Yeah, when Tom Cruise is thanking you guys personally. Yeah. And producing LA for us. Oh yeah, he would do that.

He would do that. He'd be really... Little cameo in LA as well. Get him to do a massive stunt. Film that, get that going viral. But just in the background through a window. Yeah. You just see, if you really, if you pause it, you can just see him on a motorbike flying

off the top of a crane. You hardly see it in the film, but the whole video that we make, the behind the scenes one that goes viral. And he's doing it going like. No one sees the movie, but everyone sees this video. Everyone sees that, sees him doing the jump. We'll celebrate and he gets on the walkie-talkie.

I think I can do another one. It wasn't perfect. Why the camera's so far away? Yeah, I wanna make a $40 million movie that tanks only so we can get some 10 second BTS footage of Tom Cruise that goes viral. Yeah. Yeah, well, this old fashioned sounds delicious.

And we love old fashioned. We were in a bar recently, it was old fashioned month. We took advantage of that. It's a promo on for old fashioned month. Okay, I thought you said old fashioned Mumford. Oh yeah. Well that guy's pretty old fashioned anyway. He is old fashioned.

I thought, oh, you were doing a promo for Marcus Mumford. Yeah. Yeah. This is why I need captions. I need closed captions here. It's a little subtitle sometimes. Old fashioned Mumford. Yeah, it's so old fashioned.

Pre dust bowl era. Yeah. A part of it. So you were old-fashioned. Pre Dust Bowl era. Yeah, a possible. So you were just drinking old-fashions? Yeah. So you would drink them, in earnest, you would drink them? Yeah, I love old-fashions. Nearly ruined old-fashions for myself.

A couple of years ago, had my friend and our friend Nish Kumar over to the house. We'd just moved into the house and we thought, are we going to make our own old-fashions. Had a bottle of bourbon and had all the stuff for old fashions and we had a couple of them. We were like, great, this is really nice. Kept on making them, got through a bottle of bourbon and then we'd run out of like the orange to do the orange peel, but I had some satsumas.

So I was just like dunking half a satsuma in there, like just like sugar cube, not even crushing it up, bitters, just necking basically the entire bottle of whiskey and that was a bad night. Yeah, that is a bad night. Do you have Spodey's? Spodey's? When you were saying dunking satsumas, I was thinking of in high school and university, I didn't actually drink in high school, but in university, people would fill a bathtub

with alcohol and put fruit in it. And then you would just take a ladle and pour it into a cup from a bath of college students. It wasn't a new bath that they bought specifically for. Oh, absolutely not. I mean, if you were lucky, sure someone would bring like a bucket. But if you were unlucky and didn't care,

it would just be a bathtub. And if it was cleaned, that's almost worse because then you're just also drinking whatever terrible cheap cleaning product they've used. But anyway. I've not heard of the direct alcohol directly into the bathtub. Obviously at parties, I remember at student parties

when they'd, you'd like fill up the bath with ice. Well, that's safer. That's safer. That's way safer. Fair enough with that. I think that's how that crazy doctor keeps things in one article. He's got a bathtub full of ice.

Yeah. And he has Tom Cruise in there. But like, all I know about American, like, you know, university parties is like from films. Obviously I've never been to one. I wasn't a student in America and nowadays it'd be inappropriate. Well, I didn't go to those.

You mean if you went now, it would be inappropriate. It would be bad. But like I see it from films, they've all got the red cups and stuff. Yes, the solo cups. Yeah. I didn't go to that kind of university, like a big party university.

But I think in different regions of America, what I've just described has a different name. You know, like Spodey would be maybe, maybe that was West coast. It would probably be called something else in the South or on the East Coast or Midwest. And maybe people will call in. Do people call in to your show?

People call in, yeah. We're not having any callers yet. Yeah. So we went Tom. We haven't looked at the lines yet. Call in and tell us what you called a Spodey. Your dream dessert, Carrie. I do have a sweet tooth.

So this was difficult, but I went with something very simple and something that I eat quite often. There is a Oregon-based Oregon, meaning the state of Oregon, not human organs. What a twist that would be. Yeah. In the state of Oregon, maybe actually specifically from Portland,

there is a ice cream sandwich company called Ruby Jewel. And they have very, very delicious ice cream sandwiches. And I really like their mint sandwich. So it's mint ice cream with chocolate cookies, this soft cookie. And it is just a perfect dessert. You can split it in half. If you just want a little bit of sweetness

or you can just go full cookie. But I really like the simplicity of that. I really like ice cream, but I just, I feel like it's the perfect amount and it's not too sweet. And it's not too indulgent, but I do like a little sugar after a meal. I mean, I know James is a massive ice cream sandwich fan and so am I.

I feel like there are relatively late arrival to this country, ice cream sandwiches. Relatively, yeah. I don't remember growing up with ice cream sandwiches. For sure, I remember hearing about, you know, maybe seeing it in an episode of Boy Meets World or something. And-

And- Topanga chugging down an ice cream sandwich. Maybe for Mr. Feeny. You sound so wistful talking about Boy Meets World. I can now picture your childhood a little bit more clearly. We always had ice cream sandwiches in America. Much simpler than I think like the classic Klondike or a few brands. You know, just a very thin chocolate cookie, often rectangle,

but now there's, these are circular. Yeah. These are round. And I do, and they're very popular. There's so many different flavors. Ruby Jewel just introduced an espresso chocolate one, which I want to try. They also have a really good butterscotch one with an oatmeal cookie.

So they change up the cookie, which is very important. Yeah. I like, I like the changing up of the cookies. That's, that's essential. You got to get the right combo. Yeah. They have a lemon cookie with strawberry ice cream. Wow. Yeah. I can tell James is excited about this, but also annoyed that last time he was in Portland, he didn't have Ruby Jewel. I'm trying to think what I had. I mean, I must've had a dessert. Oh yeah.

Because I was in each city for like a day. Yeah. So I had to like properly take it in and try stuff. But like, I can't think if I had an ice cream sandwich. I definitely didn't go to Ruby Jewel. So I got to go back. I went out with someone once and they did not like mint choc ice mint choc chip ice cream They thought it was disgusting deal breaker for you. I was like I was like I knew it shouldn't have been

It shouldn't be a thing I was like realistically so how did it go? They said I don't like mint choc chip ice cream, and then you just buy you say goodbye You picked up your big red walk, and he left yes. Oh you were living together at this point I was making mint choc ice cream in your big red wok and he left. Yes. Oh, you were living together at this point. I was making mint chocolate ice cream in the big red wok. I was like, oh, you don't wanna. I don't like that, goodbye. Oh, I'll see you later.

I'll eat this in the elevator on the way home. What do you think is, in all honesty though, like the hardest combination, like when you're with someone that doesn't like something, what's a food that makes it difficult if they don't like it? I mean, definitely ice cream, to be honest. I love ice cream so much, I get such joy from it. And like we were talking about earlier, with people saying stuff that can ruin a meal

for you. Often, if people don't like ice cream, they can say stuff that is a bit like, you don't want to be reminded that something's not very good for you when you're eating it and it's delicious. So when they're just like, I can eat all of that. Imagine about calories and that's nuts. And is this their problem? Yes, it's a projection. I will zoom out from that. I just think in general, when people say, I don't eat dessert, it's like a rule.

I don't think anyone needs to eat dessert every night. I'm not saying like it's a necessary part of a meal, but to just ban it sort of globally in your life I'm not saying like it's a necessary part of a meal, but to just ban it sort of globally in your life and to make a statement like that. I find it's almost like someone doesn't know how to have fun or allow pleasure in their life. Like, I don't eat dessert. Just that phrase to me is so off-putting.

Yeah, I mean, for me, it's such a source of pleasure, joy, happiness, that if someone is just pleasure, joy, happiness. That if someone is just like, well, I don't do that. It's like, well, how, how is this going to work? Because I can't just like, what I meant to just enjoy this thing on my own. You're perfectly happy to do that. I don't know what you're talking about.

You will always eat dessert on your own if you have to. It's fine if they would just like not say anything about it, but they're always going to say something about it. Cause they're always going to say something about it because they're anyone who doesn't like desserts. They're never just secure in that. Well, also they'll be like at the end of a restaurant meal, they'll be the ones going like, oh, we should let's go. Yeah. You're like, no. Oh, the worst thing. Here we go. This is the worst thing. It's not even people like, it was too much, it's feeling like dessert guilt. At a restaurant, you got to the end of the meal,

you're all thinking, oh, should we have dessert? I'm not sure. Maybe you're all like, you know. You're terrible at acting that bit in a restaurant, by the way, where you go, oh, we're not sure if it would dessert. Really bad acting. Yeah, yeah, but I don't really convincingly say that.

That is a weird routine that we all do. Yeah. Oh, I don't know. You're looking at like five amazing desserts. You actually want all five on the table. Yeah. But we're all hemming and hawing, like maybe not. Anyway, it's sort of performing.

It's very performative. Yes, we'll have a look at the menu. We'll have a look at the dessert menu. Knowing full well, you've already looked at the desserts and you know exactly what you're having. Yeah, it's why you chose this restaurant. Put it in your head, I wanna get that one. But I think there should be a rule that once you've already looked at the desserts and you know exactly what you're having. Yeah, it's why you chose to do it. But I think there should be a rule that once you've ordered the desserts and in between ordering them and the desserts coming, don't talk about desserts in anything other than

a positive way. Don't sit there talking to each other. Because then it's almost like the guilt sets in as soon as everyone's ordered the desserts, they all think, oh man, we shouldn't have done that. We had a massive meal. We shouldn't be eating this much more. And when people start doing anecdotes about like, oh yeah, because I had this once and I'm like, but I'm trying not to now. And like, now I've found that if you just have a little bit of something and then you just put it back in the thing and then you start talking about those kinds of things with one another. So you're already like basically making yourself feel bad about eating the dessert. And then the desserts turn up and you're like, we already hate myself for having this now. Whereas we should have all just gone, you know what,

I love ice cream so much, I can't wait for this. That'd be a much better chat. But instead you have this like diplomatic conversation about desserts, which just ruins it, ruins the fun. So you want those five minutes in between ordering and the arrival of the dessert to be more hype oriented. Yeah. Like really just getting everyone extra excited about what's about to happen. I also get annoyed by the person or people

who claim that they don't want the dessert. They're just going to have a bite. And then they eat half of it. And I- Even having a bite is And then they eat half of it. And I- Even having a bite is annoying, isn't it? I think, yeah, if you're opting out, opt out fully. I need you to commit to this hatred of dessert

because now I feel like the dynamic, there's something just really complicated there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then they're bringing their issues. And you've got that in the back of your mind, like how much are they gonna have? And then that stresses you out and then you can't enjoy the dessert.

Yeah. I love the idea of hyping the dessert. Is it possible, do you think, to have a restaurant where there's a dessert hype man? Oh, that's his only job. Maybe not his only job. Someone's ordered dessert. Maybe it's the doctor again.

No, it's not the doctor, he's a dessert hype man. He's very specific, He's learned his craft. I love that he sort of shows up in a cape. At the table, like the second you order a dessert, it's almost like he magically appears and he's just like leading you in little cheers and little songs. I'm imagining Paul Sheer for some reason.

Oh yes, that could work. I was thinking about Paul Sheer earlier in this episode. Were you? Yes, because when Cary mentioned sushi, every time people mention sushi on the podcast, it reminds me of Paul Scheer. And I think about Paul Scheer because I remember him telling us that he would go to a place and get this sushi that he loved. And this man, he was such a regular and the man loved him so much that he gave him a sake cup that he had written

Paul's name on it in what I think was Japanese. And Paul was like, it means a lot to me that cup. And we said, do you know that it says Paul Scheer? It might say Paul Scheer drinks piss. And Paul Scheer was a wonderful guest. We had a lot of fun with Paul, but when we made fun of his Saki cup, he did not like it. It moved us down. We spoiled a nice thing.

He was so proud of that Saki cup. We spoiled a nice thing in his life. And so it always reminds me of him with people who choose sushi. I just think Paul Scheer drinks piss, but like, I like him. Nice man. But definitely, yeah, he'd be a great dessert hype man. He'd be great. You're ready for dessert.

Yeah, yeah. Also like, because what you don't want push it I'd say Looks like someone who I'd be like, yeah that guy Believably does like dessert but also it's not taking any toll on it. He looks he looks healthy Yeah, right, but he doesn't look too healthy. Yes, joining me I wouldn't want Friggin Mario Lopez coming out and telling me this dessert's gonna be great. How the fuck do you know? I'd love Mario Lopez to come out.

He desserts. I would love if that's what Mario Lopez was doing these days. What a joy to go to a restaurant. Maybe you go specifically for their dessert hype person. Yeah. It becomes like, oh, well this restaurant has a great dessert. It's got Mario Lopez. Yeah, it's got Mario Lopez hype machine.

Flips his chair the other way around and sits on it. Oh, yeah. A little massage to get you ready for the eating. Give it a hand massage so that you're ready to really use that spoon. Well, yeah, maybe that'd be nice. Ready for dessert? Preppy? Yeah, yeah.

Call me preppy. That'd be cool. Oh, yeah. You have a nickname. They're like, yeah. Come on, Brownstein, you got it. You know? I guess that is a different kind of hyping you up for it. He's getting you physically.

I was thinking someone coming up going, this dessert's gonna be so great. We all love dessert, it's brilliant, which I wouldn't believe from him. So I'd be like, yeah, Lopez doesn't eat enough desserts. I don't think, but if he was training me up like he's a boxing coach, then fair enough, I'd be like, yeah, this is gonna eat enough desserts. I don't think, but if he was training me up, like he's a boxing coach, then fair enough, I'd be like, yeah, this is going to be great.

Well, I think we're each imagining something slightly different, but I feel like each hype person would have a different technique. So yeah, you go to a restaurant and you would know that this one was more like a coach. Another one was just more like singing the praises of the dessert portion of the meal. Yeah. I guess I want someone who's like, we all made a great decision here today. This

is so great. Like you guys rule from making this decision to order the dessert. You want a life coach. Basically. Yeah. This is so great. I want Paul Scheer to be like, whose idea was it to get desserts? This guy? Fucking, round of applause for this guy. This is so great. You just want to be popular. But you want to be that guy, clearly. You basically want to be validated in your decision. You should just bring Paul Scheer with you to every restaurant you go to. Yeah, but he hates us because we said he drinks piss.

So we ruined that. Yeah, but after he's had a few shots of piss, he's good. I'm going to read your menu back to you now, see how you feel about it. You would like still water. You would like bread from Dos Hermanos in Portland. Start a wedge salad. Main course, eight to ten homemade tacos, heavy on dairy and a little bowl of spaghetti bolognese.

Side dish, bluefin Toro Nagiri from Sushi Park in LA. Drink an old fashioned river eye from the Pacific Standard in Portland. Banjo. From Banjo. Shout out Banjo. There's a Ruby Jewel mint ice cream sandwich. That's pretty great. That's delicious.

And you rep in Portland pretty heavily there. I like to rep the city I live in. It's good to like the food in the city you live in. I think it's important. It's important. It's important. You should work for the tourism board because that's important. It's important in Portland.

We have so many businesses that we've formed from this was basically a think tank. Yeah. Of an episode. I mean, we have a film, we have a book, we have an, you have three or four extra podcasts at this point. A dessert hype man agency. Doctors who get you the right amount of drunk. Yeah.

Yeah. And the big red wok. Well, Carrie, it's been a pleasure doing business with you. Let's shake on it. Yes, it has been wonderful to be your guest today. Thank you. Thank you very much for coming to the Dream Restaurant. Thank you, Carrie.

your guest today. Thank you. Thank you very much for coming to the dream restaurant. Thank you, Carrie. There we are. A great chat with Carrie there, James. I enjoyed that so much. Yeah. She's great. Brilliant, funny, great food choices. Yes. And an impeccable musician. Yes. The new album, Little Rope. Well done. Is out now. I loved watching you screw that up, man. I loved it. You know, it didn't feel good, but I still in my head had the awareness to know like, I would love this if it happened to someone else. So just deal with the facts that's happening to you now and to everyone else, you are someone else.

So it's okay. You were riding so high on the Smooth Link and the drop was sharp. The downfall was immediate. Straight off the cliff. And may I say deserved. Yeah, or fully deserved the rake in the face. Yes. Carrie of course did not say a thimble of Italian soda, would have been very surprised if she had. So we can tell you that the new Solita Kinney album Little Rope is out now and they are touring later in the year.

Yeah, and you should listen to Solitaetakinney's entire back catalogue and catch up and watch all of Portlandia if you have not done so. Absolutely you should. Thank you very much, The Carry, for coming in. We will see you again sometime soon. Goodbye. Goodbye. This is the first radio ad you can smell. The new Cinnabon pull apart only at Wendy's.

It's ooey, gooey, and just five bucks with a small coffee all day long. Taxes extra at participating Wendy's until May 5th. Terms and conditions apply. Hi, I'm Lucy Beaumont. And guess what? I'm Sam Campbell. If you enjoy, well, there's another podcast just coming out. Oh, the podcast is out now. Yeah. If people have enjoyed Off Menu, will they enjoy Lucy and Sam's perfect brains? I don't know. There's a bit of a crossover, we talk about maybe a couple of food issues, we talk about cutlery and that's near food, we reckon it's out now, not soon, it's now. Is it on all the platforms? Oh it absolutely is. If you like James and if you love head you might get a kick out of this. But yeah, again, no pressure. But yeah, this one is coming.

This one's out now. Lucy and Sam's perfect brands.