Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 28: Serge Pizzorno

Episode Date: August 28, 2019

Sergio Pizzorno – aka Serge from Kasabian, aka the SLP – orders his dream meal this week. Let's just hope there are no magicians nearby…Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive Productions.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations).Serge's debut solo album, 'The SLP', is released this week. Buy the album here.Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Ed Gamble is on tour, including a date at the Shepherd's Bush Empire. See his website for full details.James Acaster is on tour. See his website for full details.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, listeners of the Off Menu podcast. It is Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu podcast. I have a very exciting announcement. I have written my first ever book. I am absolutely over the moon to announce this. I'm very, very proud of it. Of course, what else could I write a book about? But food. My book is all about food. My life in food. How greedy I am. What a greedy little boy I was. What a greedy adult I am. I think it's very funny. I'm very proud of it. The book is called Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy. And it's coming out this October, but it is available to pre-order now, wherever you pre-order books from. And if you like my signature, I've done some signed copies,

which are exclusively available from Waterstones. But go and pre-order your copy of Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy, now. Please? And if you just leave that in the Fun Oven for about half an hour and sprinkle over a little bit of love, you've got yourself an excellent podcast. Welcome to the Off Menu podcast. I'm Ed Gamble, and there's James Acaster. Hello. Nice to see you. I'll put my oven gloves on. You've got your oven gloves on? Yeah. I was near the Fun Oven.

To pull the potty out of the Fun Oven? Yeah, pull in the potty out of the Fun Oven. If you're listening for the first time, this is the Off Menu podcast, where we invite a special guest into our dream restaurant and ask them a few things. Don't we, James? We ask them their favourite ever, starter, main course dessert, side dish and drink. It is a wonderful format. Ed, who's today's guest? Our guest today goes by many names. Sergio Pizzorno.

Much from Cossabian. Yes. And recently, by his initials, SLP, which is the title of his recently released solo album. Oh, you're such a good maitre d. Thank you very much. Maitre Ed. Yeah, yeah. Ed, let me tell you, though, as much as I'm excited to have Serge in the restaurant today, if he mentions the secret ingredient, he is out on his ass. Yes, every week we have a secret ingredient where, if a guest mentions it within their meal, they will be removed from the building.

A bit of a controversial one this week, because I don't agree with it, but you... No, you and Benito are fully behind it, so I've got to go along with it. Our secret ingredient this week is raw ginger. Big chunks of raw ginger. Big chunks of raw ginger now. Specifically, big chunks of raw ginger. Of course, raw ginger and ginger itself adds so much to so many meals. But sometimes, if there's a big old chunker in there and you bite down on it, it's like

very potent, compacted hair. It's really not a nice feeling. I like it. You like it. But you hate lemongrass. No, I'm not saying lemongrass is too strong in a way that's a bit sickly. Ginger, it feels like a real pleasant explosion. I think it's the texture more than anything for me.

Throughout my whole head. But it's two legs. We've already made the decision. We've made it. I've got to go along with it. The secret ingredient is big chunks of ginger, anything over, I'd say, two centimetres. Yes, we'll get him to show us with his hands. Yes, exactly.

But for now, let's hear the off menu of Sergio Pizzorno, a surgeon with Sabian, SLP. The SLP. Welcome to the restaurant, Serge. Thanks, mate. Welcome, Serge. Oh, no. You know what's going on here? Go on.

He's a waiter and he's a genie. OK. And I was about to say he's a genie waiter, but I started to say waiter and I nearly said he was a weenie jeter. Oh, I've never been called a weenie jeter before, but I quite like it. And that explosion was you coming out of the lamp. Yeah, it wasn't me coming out of the lamp. Yeah.

What's going on? My weenie jeter entrance. For this episode, I'm going to be called a weenie jeter. OK. You're a weenie jeter. Only for this episode. I like being called a weenie jeter. So the idea is, Serge, that as a weenie jeter, he can get you whatever food you want from

any place or time around the world, anything you want for your dream meal. OK. Yeah. Happy with that? Yeah, really happy. You seem pretty chill in the presence of the weenie jeter. Yeah, no. I'm just trying to sort of get my head around.

You just arrived at the restaurant. Yeah. I saw a little look at you. When Ed said then any place or time, I heard you hear time and go, oh, I could go back into Henry the Eighth time. Yeah. I thought you started to think outside of your realm then. Yeah.

You think I can get some other stuff. I've been thinking. I mean, it's been, yeah, it's funny what you sort of start to remember when you pick out certain times of your life going, oh, that time in Chicago or whatever. Yeah. And then you start to remember other things, nights you've forgotten that you probably best should have forgotten. Yeah.

But the food sticks out. But the food sticks out. Yeah. Yeah. First, we'll start with still sparkling water search. Oh, man, sparkling. It's a new thing, but I've gone cut down on the fizzies, you know, fizzy drinks. So it's like a little sort of fake hit.

Like a treat of fizz. I pretend it's like a full fat coat. Yeah. When did you start to take it down? I just, I noticed my teeth looking like weirdly yellow and I thought that's probably should stop that. Uh-huh. And I drink quite a fair bit of rum.

So I always have it with that. So I thought maybe at a restaurant you'd probably better off going sparkling. Did you still have it with the rum? Yeah. But you've cut down on it. Cut down the amount of it. Yeah. In the rum.

It's a more rum now. You just have more rum now. Yeah. That's smart. Your teeth look very nice. Thanks, man. My little boy said to me the other day, he's like, you dad, your teeth are well yellow. I was like, what?

Oh, yeah. I don't think they are. Oh, man, maybe that means I look yellow too. Yeah. Maybe you got white eyes. Maybe that's why. You see everything white. Oh, do you reckon?

Yeah. I could be. You have got quite white eyes. Is that a wise word? Is that a wise word? Yeah. I now see everything white because my eyes are really white. Yeah.

That's so correct. Oh, I didn't know that. Ed went to a better school than me, so I'm going to presume that's true. You see everything white. I think you've got nice teeth, mate. Thanks, man. Crooked. So you've got...

Oh, really? I'm caning my teeth. They're not actually not that bad. No, they're not. They're nice teeth. Thanks, man. We haven't batten someone's self-esteem this early. They're straight away.

Yeah, they're early. Do you want to still have sparkling water? Oh, my piece of shit. Oh, God, I hate myself so much. Oh, God. I was a bit embarrassed by choosing sparkling. I think that's what it is. No, I think it's...

It's kind of... It's kind of... It is a lot of stigma. I mean, even when I do it, like, you do... Then we sort of... There's a little murmur of, like, oh. Do you know what I mean? It's always a wanker move.

Is this guy thinking? Yes. He's great. Especially my pals. Do you know what I mean? Really? What are you doing? Like, what...

Like, what pals do you... Well, sort of, you know, my pals that I've known since I was, like, you know, seven. So I'm still friends. I still live in Leicester. So we're still close. They'll see him a lot. But it's the kind of thing where you all are sparkling. Oh, move to London, have we?

Yeah. Yeah. So they drink down there. Yeah. It's like, no, no. It's just... I think it's absolutely fine to pick sparkling. And I think it's a good reason...

I'm good. ...because you're trying to cut down on your fizzy drinks. Yeah. But I identify what you just said. I'm from Catrin. So it's not far. Same kind of attitude. Yeah.

Yeah. If I said I was having some sparkling water, I'd get a bit of it. Yeah. Because I've lived in London. Drinking some sparkling water. Are you? That's crazy. Two stops down, right?

What is it? Is it... No, it's Market Arbor then Catrin. Yeah, yeah. Market Arbor and Catrin. 20 minutes on the train. Mate, it's happening in Catrin. That's where people...

We used to go shopping in Leicester. Me and my mates. That's... That was the sophistication. Tell us all everything you need to know about Catrin. The big city. Yeah, yeah. Let's go to Leicester.

I think we might have done a gig there. I can't really think about Catrin. What is it? A lot of people can't. A lot of people find it very hard to think about Catrin's search. There's a band from the temples. Are they from Catrin? Yeah, they are.

Yeah. James Bagshaw. So I used to do... When I was in bands, growing up. Yes. They got great names. I remember that from the show The Last Laser. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

One of them Capra's sons. Capra's son Quartet. I was in. Yeah, yeah. They made me laugh. They called me that. But we did some gigs with... So the people who were in temples now, they were in different bands.

Yes. And we were growing up. So we did gigs with them. And James Bagshaw is one of the guys in the temples that would go with the big hair. I don't know if he's got big hair anymore. Yeah, you're the singer, right? I think it's like... Short to me.

I think he is. Yeah, he might be the singer. But yeah, he was in a pop punk band the first time I met him. And he was a good pop punk band. I liked it a lot. I can't remember what they were called now. But it was a shout out to temples. Raging Speedhorn aren't from Catrin, are they?

They're from Corby. I always get that mixed up. Corby. Corby. That is an interesting place. Yeah, Corby's very interesting place. I don't know if it's still the case in Corby. But a lot of people used to think they were Scottish in Corby when they weren't Scottish.

But people have Scottish accents. Right. Now I'm going to be in actual trouble. Yeah. I'm actually kind of putting myself in the crosshairs now. Right. But a lot of people who just... I wouldn't mess with Raging Speedhorn.

No. Soap bar. That's where you get the best soap bar. Oh, yeah? Yeah. What's soap bar? I don't know if you can... I suppose it's like Thai weed.

Oh, like, okay. But it's like... It's sort of made... It's weird. It's like made in... You always find plastic bags in it and stuff. Yeah. It's like cut really weird.

It's plastic bags, innit? Yeah. We used to call it plastic bag material. Because you'd always find remnants of plastic bags. Yeah. You know. And would you smoke the plastic bags? I mean, at the time, you know, anything, really.

Yeah, that's all. Yeah, that's all. Yeah. We didn't really have a lot of money. So it's like, great. That'll work. Pop it up to our bread, Serge. Pop it up to our bread.

Oh, man. It's a really tough one. I don't... It's a lot of hard decisions to make, because I love them equally. But I suppose I'd have to go with... I mean, I don't know. That's really tough.

Yeah, it's tough, hasn't it? It stomped me, man. It's really tough. Because I do... I'm so traditional. I've got a long history with bread. Like, real, do you know what I mean? Yeah.

It's like... You and bread go way back. Way back. Yeah. It's like five or six years where I've really got into curry. But I was a sort of... Bread was sort of... I lived on it to survive.

Yeah. Because I've not been... I was crap with food when I was a kid. One of those kids you'd get, like, it'd invite me around your house and I wouldn't eat anything, you know, like... Yeah. Like, I'd have, like, a slice of bread with no butter, you know.

Yeah. Bad problems. I was the opposite. Really? If I went into a friend's house, I was the one where the mum was like, that fat kid's coming over. Give him all the food.

I went into one friend's house and his mum just kept making me toast in the morning once. I had about eight slices of toast. She was like, would you like some more toast? She's like... She had some bet going. Yes, I've been told.

Yeah. Put another one on the tally chart. Just if I saw something wrong with the mum, you know, like, for hands... I didn't like the look of her hands. Right. Oh, like, this is what's this way you wouldn't eat much. Kind of, yeah.

Or there's maybe some sort of weird mouth thing. Like, a bit of white stuff around the mouth. Yeah, you know, or sort of, you know, like, weird with sauce as well. You saw something wrong with the mum. Do you know what I mean, though? Yeah. I mean, like, oh, what we've got is, like, beans.

It's like, oh, man, like, liquid on the beans and it's giving me stress. You're not a source person. No, see, weird, because, like, what I've turned into, like, if you... I always don't worry about... My kids don't eat, like, loads. But I always think...

Like, I was the worst. And now I'm sort of... I like to eat anything. The sauce is... Food is merely a vehicle for sauce now. Nice. You've gone too far the other way. The other way.

Yeah, you just have soup all day. Making up for lost time. I remember, like... And I still got this to this day. This is a little example of how bad I was. Like, I couldn't eat if a magician was on the teller. What are you talking about? Still to this day, freaks me.

I don't... I'm not often surprised, Serge. I think, you know, working in comedy quite often, you can sort of see where the left turns are going to come in. That took me by surprise. Honestly, like, it's not even... It's not even, like, it's just a thing. Every now and again, you know, like a Sunday,

there'd be, like, a magician. It was more those dove ones. You know, the 80s ones. Yeah, with the, like, white gloves and stuff. Still now. And you know what? The next level is the unmasked magician. That does me even more.

The guy with the white mask on. It's like the props and the lever and the face paint. And still, I could go now. Like, it makes me barf, man. So you wouldn't be able to eat if there was a magician on the table because it made you feel sick. Yeah, yeah, it's like... And I would, like...

I would gag. Like, I'd be bad, man. Like, I'd be around mate's houses, and they'd bring food and be like, how's that bad? Once again, they're watching a magic show. If there was a magician on the telly, then I was... Would they know? Would they do it on purpose?

They'd, like, order a pizza and put it on top of your video. No, they would just stop... They would just, like... They would just just take the piss, like, a weird kid coming round that don't eat anything. If there's a magician on the telly. Just give him a slice of white bread and he'll be fine. So they wouldn't put Paul Daniels on when they came round.

Yeah, yeah. You wouldn't want Paul Daniels on. David Copperfield. Yeah. Yeah. Weird, man. That's kind of the level I was at. Oh, man.

I've never... I mean... It's the props. It's the, like... You know, the look of them. I can smell them. I think I've got some, like, thing. Yeah.

You know, you see, like, colour, like, smells. Yeah, same people can see colours, right? I have a sensitive thing going on. Yeah. Cynesthesia is cool. It's when you see colours. There's only some. Yeah, Cynesthesia is when you can see...

Yeah. You can see colours when it's, like, music version. Yeah, you've got that, but you can smell a magician. You can smell a magician. You can see a magician. You can smell all of his kit. Props. Yes, kit.

Oh, man. All of that. All of it smells like... That's disgusting. That's a... See what it smells like inside that, like, box? They get cut in half, man. Oh, yeah.

That's sweaty and all, but anyway. Yeah. You can imagine what it smells like in the box when they cut in half. I think, rather than me finding this funny, I think I now agree with you and I'm never going to be able to eat while I'm watching a magician. Yeah, I wouldn't be able to do it. Also, there's another episode where we had Dynamo on. Oh, no.

This is a good lad. Well, yeah, sure. But, like, you know, you would have hated that episode. You would not have liked to listen to that. I don't think he had any kit on him. His kit's not so bad, because at least he's got, like, an anorak on him and a pair of trackies. I'm into that.

That is where it's more of the 80s vibes. The more Tomp there is. The more Tomp there is. The white gloves. The quite furred hair. A funny little magic wand where they flip it and it bends over and then straightens back up again. With that many make-up, they give you the shudders.

That shudders me up. The cups and the balls? Yeah, again. Hate that? Hate that. Hate it if they put it in. Even the sort of lighting as well, it's the lighting that it does me in. Yeah.

Quite observant as a child to be like. No, it was. It's the lighting that really screws me up. Do you know what? I think this one makes me feel sick as well. When they're pulling, like, stuff out their sleeves. All their handkerchiefs out their sleeves. Not as mad as you think is it when you start to get deep into it.

Yeah. I agree with you. You'll notice now. Yeah. That's why I couldn't even, if I saw them do that. So, I've got this, I've bred. What should I say? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you haven't even said popping up some bread yet. We've been talking about how you cut it if a magician's on the table. I'll go bred. I'll go bred. I'll go bred because I got, well, I did an early interview and I remember, you know, I sort of flippantly said, like, oh, it wouldn't be sort of sex to drugs that kill me. It would be like overeating a bread. Yeah.

Just working love bread. And I would do the gig in South Korea and there was a girl in the front row and she had a massive sign. It just said, Serge, I've bought you some bread. I thought, wow. I was a bit gutted. I was only joking. Any particular type of bread that you'd like on the dream?

I mean, I'd probably just go, I'd probably go for cacha. It's weirdly not chosen. Well, yeah, I'd go for cacha. My uncle owned a bakery in Italy and he used to do some serious business. Oh, I love cacha. Yeah, man. You owned a bakery, do you say? He owned a bakery in Italy.

It's half my family's from there. Amazing. It's nice. Summer holidays just sort of vibing in there. Great. What was that like, like fresh, like, ancestor bakery bread? Again, it was a struggle because I was still going through the, I don't really eat anything. So that's what I found that.

I remember him making me pesto once and I was like, what is going on? It's green, you know? Now it's, you know. I can imagine pesto is probably quite a scary food for a child. It's well scary. And he used to pinch my face like really like, you know, that sort of, you know, the sort of stereotypical man that was frightening. Yeah.

Talked really loud. And he was a magician as well, wasn't he? Yeah, he was. Making money, you appear from behind your ears and stuff like that. He'd be sick instantly in his hand. He'd pinch. I had pesto in a wrap yesterday for lunch. Good.

Six hours later, I burped and it still tasted like pesto. Yeah, that's one of the things about pesto. It's a good one, generally. Yeah, it still tastes when it comes back up. It doesn't leave you for a while, that. Serious, man. Longer than, I'd say longer than any other food. Yeah, he's up there, isn't he?

I'm burping it and it's still there. There's very little that outlasted it, actually. That's a good question. What repeats? Yeah. We have to worry that it's a big thing before a gig. Like, you'll really shit. Of course, yeah.

Because like, we'll be like, is it repeating sort of a mid-set? Just ask Tom. Yeah. Is that repeating? He's like, yeah, it's repeating. You would ask during the. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Off my score.

Just taking the piss out of each other. Yeah. Because it's like, you know, someone would be eating like a sort of rogue and Josh for the gig. Yeah. That's a repeater right there. Asking for trouble. That's a repeater.

Stay clean, man, before the gig. The pepper, pepper army. You shouldn't have a pepper army before a gig. That is a repeater. A spicy one. Yeah. I would imagine this, from what you've said so far about various things, that pepper army, you weren't going anywhere near them as a kid, were you?

No. Surely you hated that little. Later, later now, I will. Right, yeah. On a sort of service station. Well, the pepper army in terms of food is the closest thing to a magic wand. That's a meaty magic wand, isn't it? That sounds pretty wrong.

Meaty magic wand. I haven't said meaty magic wand since last night. I didn't like the sheaf. Oh, no, that's horrible. Well, neither do I know you've called it the sheaf. I was talking to the people, I called it. I used to love it. I used to chew it.

The pepper army condom. Are we going to call it that? Yes, pepper army. It's always the moment you have to sort of slide that thing down. You have to sort of take a deep breath. I loved it. I used to chew it after I'd eaten. That's disgusting.

It's the second time I've said it, but you missed it the first time. I thought I'm getting that in. I used to... I don't understand. What are the packets? The inner sheaf. So there's the packet. I didn't chew that.

And then there's the plastic condom. And you chew it. It's like a salty chewing gum. I can't take this. I actually can't take it. That's more about it. That's so low. I mean, it doesn't get any lower than that.

No self-respect. But if you're eating a pepper army, your self-respect's already at rock bottom, isn't it? No. No, no. It turns out there is lower you can go. It's chewing the pepper army. Johnny, at the end.

It's sucking the bag at the end. Oh, that's horrible. That's the student days, right? School. School, yeah. Little pepper army condom. Yummy. No, man.

You're chewing it at the end. Yummy, yummy. Benito, you backing me up on this? No, he looks up. But it is a vegetarian as well. It's even worse for him to hear you. Who about this? He's got a spicy though, right?

Only spicy. I'd go with... Is it called fire or something? Yeah, it's sort of like fire stick. Fire stick, yeah. Love of fire stick. The black packet. Pure repeat.

Did they release a single at one point, the pepper army single? They had that advert, didn't they? Oh, what's the matter? Yes. So, spicy fire? Was that a single? Yeah.

Definitely. That's what I'm asking. Was it just an advert? Or did they... I have a memory that they released it as an actual single. And then the B-side was called chew the bag. My name is Ed Campbell,

and I love to chew the bag. Just you singing for the whole thing. You're the only person who ever did that shit. That's what we all used to do at our school. Did you? Where did you go? What school is this? The school in Mad Max.

What the hell? We used to eat the wax off a baby bell as well, right? No. He's winding us up on that one, Serge. Serge looked at Ed there like, you're about to punch him in the face. You're like, right, I'm not standing for that one. Wow.

Right. Now it comes to your starter. Okay, we got that. That's delicious. And it's a focaccia from actually, before we go on to start it. Is it from your uncle's bakery? I'd say there, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. A little, a little. The Nabisola, it was a little bakery. The starter. Okay. So, all right. I've gone spicy buffalo wings. And there's a place in Chicago called the Dublin.

And they were the, they were the ones. They, they were the, because we went, so it would have been like, oh, four. And we did like a 12 week tour of America. And we found, I think we had wings pretty early. And then we sort of made the wing council. So me, my cousin, and Dibs, the bass player. So he said, right, we, every, in every restaurant we go,

we have to order wings. And then we need to rate. They have to have a rating. Yeah, of it. So we, it was a solid test, man. I mean, this, this place on it, there's a lot of research going into this. Yeah.

And it was, it was just magnificent. That's great. So what were you, was there a scoring system? Yeah. Yeah. The source ratio. Yeah. It was number one because when they were too wet.

Yeah. Yeah. Too messy, right? Too messy, too wet, too buttery. And the crispness of the skin has to be nice and crispy. If they were, like, usually if too much sauce, you're never going to win. But, and then there was one that came second in New York,

that you got the wing and then the sauce separate, which was a nice little move. That's a good title. I just thought, I don't know, I like the fact that they, It's a bit of a cop-out as well, isn't it? It is a bit, sure. Because it's a bit, it's just sitting on the wing rather than properly, like, in there.

Yeah. It's part of it. You want it to feel like it's one thing. It's phenomenal. I mean, pure heart attack material. Oh, yeah. Because they were like- Does it come with the blue cheese sauce as well?

Yeah, but don't go anywhere near that. What? No, man. Do you like the blue sauce? I love the blue sauce. I chew pepper army packets. Yeah, it doesn't really matter. It doesn't really matter at this level now.

Oh, man. There's something wrong about that. I definitely think buffalo chicken is like, the first time I had buffalo chicken is a revelation. Yeah. Yeah. It is in it. There's nothing prepared you for that sauce.

It's true, man. I don't think that is that- I'm with you. Hot but vinegary. Yeah. And buttery, like you say. It's got everything. Cream.

Yeah. I would dip- I wouldn't have every bite with the sauce, but I'd want to dip in there at one point to see how good their sauce is. The blue. The blue cheese sauce. That always frightens me that.

Does it? Yeah. Yeah. Cream like- Blue cheese. Yeah, yeah. It's perfect because it's the vinegar of the wing cuts through the fat.

I mean, I'm not- Yeah. Are you not a blue cheese guy? No. I'm funny with that kind of creamy cheese sauce. Always worries me a little bit. A lot of people are. A lot of flour, cheese and that.

Yeah. I'll go there now and again, but always a bit wary. Sure. It's a bit- You know what I mean? It just looks a little bit weird. Yeah.

Also, you're rating the wings, and I agree with you that the sauce impedes on the wings a little bit. Absolutely. And you're not getting a solid experiment there. No. If you're putting the sauce on it. Yeah.

I mean, and then every year since, we've never got near that one place. Dublin and Chicago. Yeah, man. And you all agree that they were the best. All of them is unanimous. That's great. You know, it was unanimous.

We'd go there, and we've got a couple of days there, so we went twice, four times, I think, for the wings. Great. Beautiful. Oh, nice. Beautiful.

I think that's the same. On a long tour, I think having something that is like, you know, a food thing or a drink, that they're like, we're going to find the best one. Yeah. Well supported.

Milton Jones in 2011, we toured for the whole year. We were trying to find the best custard slice in Britain. And like, so we just both got around trying to find the best custard slice. Probably a very similar sort of vibe on your tour.

Really similar to a Casabian tour. Yeah. Yeah. Milton Jones, absolutely tearing it up. I can't tell you a lot of the stories. This is one of the only stories that's OK for broadcast, but there's a lot of stories that say that for...

After hours stories. Yeah. I could tell you about that. When everyone's fallen asleep already. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. But here's the tragedy about the best custard slice. So we found it in this...

It was a service station. And for our memory, it's the second services we came to in Wales. We went into Wales. The second one stopped at that. Those had their own little like, you know, canteen. It was like a big amount of custard in there,

real hefty custard, crisp pastry and lovely vanilla icing on the top. It was just a perfect slice. And we've not been able to find the services since. Oh, man. It's like it vanished. Like it was a ghost service.

Yeah. That was like from the past. Are you going to go there and they're like... It burned down 50 years ago. Like Wales is all I know. OK. So you go into Wales from England. And it's the second services you get to.

What bit are you going into? We didn't do the toll bridge. So it was like whatever bit. So it was a north way. Yeah. Whatever bit is not toll bridge. And we went in. Second services stopped there.

Best custard slices ever. Both of us separately have tried to find them again. Every time we see each other, like it's not there anymore. So what gig were you going to? Do you remember what city you were going to? Real or something. I don't know.

We had a bunch of Welsh gigs on that day. I mean, this is like a long time ago. But like it was a momentous day. We were like, look, this is the best one. At the end of the tour, we like agreed. That was the best one we had. Never going to find it again. And then it's like as we were driving away,

it vaporized behind us. And I don't want to say a magician did that. It was like everyone there was like, had been dead for 50 years. Oh no. And then we went in and had these custard slices. It never went anymore. So if there's any Welsh listeners who know that services.

Is the Dublin still there? I think so. Yeah. I mean, I had a mate. This isn't me. He's usually say I had a mate. But he had his ex-girlfriend used to like Robin. This is no shit.

Robin custard slices on a like body. No shit. No shit. No, this weird. You know, you keep saying the word custard slice. I just keep thinking. That's all you keep thinking about your mates. I'm really, really trying to listen.

But I've just got this fucking thing. I wish I could tell you it was even funny, but I can't do it. Yeah. You've got a number. I'll give it to Milton Jones. Yeah. He'd absolutely love this lady.

He knows exactly where to get the best custard slices. Yeah. Although she's got very different requirements. Yeah. Yeah. She'd love them on her body. Yeah. And we're here to eat them off of her.

Yeah. Yeah. But that specific thing. It would be a shame if she didn't like anyone to eat them. It's like, didn't you like try any others? No, no, no, no. It had to be that. Wow.

Or was it? I can imagine them like taking the lid off, the top lid. Yeah, exactly. So you've got the bottom still. Sort of got like a... Because then that's quite a good thing for Robin on you. You've got two quite sturdy grips there. You've got some sturdy bases there.

Yeah. But also it's all quite, you know, easy to rub around. Yeah. It's not too syrupy. You know. I should listen to this podcast. But she'd obviously experimented within her life to find out that the custard slices was the best.

Probably that was the specific one thing. You know, she'd probably been through some horrible experiences with jammed hearts before she landed on custard slices. Harding dads or something. Yeah. What about like a bit of Nutella right now? Yeah. They're just like...

Not into that. Her and her fellow once were like, she had a custard slice and they started kissing and then escalated and then it's like, this is going on my body. I don't know about that, do you? I don't think I could eat food off someone, man. No, I wouldn't do that. You can't eat food when there's a magician in the town. No, absolutely.

No, that's what I'm saying. I've got no... I've got, yeah, things. I would be surprised if you've got to that point. Yeah. You couldn't eat food as a child if you didn't like the look of the mum. If you didn't like the look of the mum, you could eat the food so let alone off someone's actual body.

Yeah, not for me. I think those wings are a solid start. That's what we like here. You've done your research. Yeah. You know the exact place where you want them from. Yeah, I like that as well. I like that as well.

Like properly someone committing to a certain food and finding the best one. Yeah. Nothing but respect for that. Your main course. Main. Hard because obviously it's Italian roots. I sort of grew up eating Italian food. I now sort of love curry so much.

But the one place, there's a place called La Tacaria in San Francisco. Okay. And it says it does this thing called carne asada tacos, which is like a sort of shredded beef taco. And it's, I mean, I can't even now. I would fly, I would probably go, land, eat and come home. That's the sort of dedication. Wow.

And the hot sauce, they do this sort of green sort of hot sauce. No idea. I mean, I sort of thought about just putting it in the suitcase, but I always get, I always get really quite collared quite heavily when I go to America because I don't know why. Yeah. But they used, I thought, I don't think taking that would, they probably wouldn't let me, you know what I mean? But that, that place.

I mean, I, I, I sort of, we did like about eight weeks recording the third record there. And I think I went, I've more or less probably went five times a week because I quite like, once I get a routine, like I, decisions doing my head in, like I feel like all I'm doing all day in the studio is making like decisions. Yeah. So the food decision is like, I like that. You want that taken out your hands. Yeah, it's gone.

Yeah, makes sense. I like that food a lot. Yeah. So I'm just going to go there and eat that because that's decisions been made because I'm trying to figure out what the snare should sound like and my brain's going crazy. Yeah. And that's where I go. And the guy's working with killed him because he's like, you can't seriously be gone going

back there. I was like, no, that's where I'm going. I'll go on my own. I don't care. And they're all doing the same thing every time as well. Same thing. Yeah. Yeah, right.

I mean, I'd do the chicken down again, but it was always like, fucking that was good, man. So what was it? So you got shredded beef in there. Yeah. And you got that greens hot sauce. Yeah. Yeah.

Salsa. And then you chewed around the block for it. It's like a famous kind of, yeah. And yeah, just insanely good. And it's like, you can't believe like it's not, you know, you don't even, I don't even understand what it is. Like it could be long pig for all I know, but it was good. I don't know why.

I've never said it before, but queuing up for food in America. I love it. Oh, I'll do it in America. Yeah. Anywhere else. It makes me, when you said then they were queuing around the block, I genuinely felt happy. Yeah. Like I felt really happy.

I won't do it in London. Cause if I do it in London, I look around at all the other English people doing, I'm like, you people are ridiculous. Yeah. You're all little sheep. But we went on holiday to New York and we went to a steak restaurant called St Anselm in Brooklyn and we arrived and we know it's busy and they were like, oh, it's going to be two hours for a table.

And in England, I would have burnt the restaurant to the ground. Yeah. But they were like, okay, there's a little bar next door. You can go and sit and have a couple of drinks and we'll be with you in two hours. And I was like, absolutely fine with it. Big regrets for me at that bar. Why? Cause they, they sold Mold Cider and I wanted it, but for some reason denied it to myself.

Strap in Bonito. This is going to be one of the stories you want to chop out. James has got a real skill of telling a very boring story. Like it's the most important thing in the world. It is. These things matter to me. This was a big thing to happen on the holiday. It was a big thing during the holiday.

Cause I wanted the Mold Cider, but I denied it to myself for no good reason. Right. And I was like, I really wish I'd had that Mold Cider. And so I was like, well, it's okay. It's really cold in New York at the minute. It was snowing. I was like, somewhere else will do Mold Cider. Every bar we went in, I was asking after it wasn't there.

It wasn't there. It wasn't there. I was really sad about that. Then one day we went into a, in the daytime went into a clothing store and they, and one of the people who worked at the clothing store came up to me and went, would you like a free Mold Cider? It was like I was dreaming. Yeah.

And also one of the reasons I didn't want the Mold Cider was because I felt I've been boozing too much. It was New Year's and stuff. I wanted to like, you know, I had the post New Year's guilt of like, I need to stop drinking. I'm drinking all the time. And then she was like, it's Mold Cider. It's non-alcoholic Mold Cider.

So it was like, just all my dreams come true. In a clothing store. And then I didn't even buy any clothes. Did you set that up? You might have had a word. Yeah. It feels like that's the sort of thing. I'll talk about it.

Yeah. It worked. I was delighted about it. Yeah. Why did you? Oh, you denied it because you were going through that. I've got to stop drinking. Yeah.

Drinking too much. I seem to remember we drunk quite a lot that night anyway. Yeah, we did. It was New Year's Day. Yeah. John Robbins was the most drunk that night. Yeah, it was. We all took turns.

We all took turns being the most. There's four of us. Yeah, yeah. And each night someone was the most drunk. And on that night, John had gone to the toilet and our friend Lloyd was going, I don't know if I've really got that drunk. And we went, are you joking? Like John's absolutely hammered.

And he was like, I don't think he is. And then John just burst out of the toilet. Like probably like the door kind of like rebounded off the wall when he was there across the room like, gentlemen. It's like, yeah, there you go, Lloyd. Did you have your own room or did you stay like in the same room together? You know, we were, we were just in an Airbnb. Different rooms.

Yeah. Nice little, nice little flat. We're doing it. We're doing all right. We've got our own separate rooms these days. Pretty cool guys. Pretty short guys. Well, he's Taco.

So I'm a big Taco fan. Oh. And any Taco that someone's willing to get a plane. Just if you ever get there, get, you know, if you spend some time there, just I wouldn't, you know, the Golden Gate, you could, you've seen it before, man. We've all seen it. We've seen Alcatraz. Get to this place, man.

So good. On the mission. I mean, it's quite, it's quite, I think it's got better, but it's quite a sort of, it's quite a tasty area. It's quite. Is that where Amoeba Records is? Is it down that way? Do you know what?

No, no, that's that. That's more near the hate. Ashbury. That's what I was thinking of. The cool hippie part. I saw a massive fight there because that's like supposed to be a tasty area as well. Yes, it can be. And literally a man like punching another man in the face, screaming at him in the middle

of the day. And then he chased him into a shop and stuff. It's really exciting. He chased him into a shop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're just full of head shop. It's mad now because of the sort of money, the Silicon Valley money. It's kind of changing.

Yeah. Yeah. There's so much tech stuff going on. Yeah. There's so much. But we were thinking about going with the podcast to, to America. We weren't thinking San Francisco. But I think now we're going to have to.

We've got a fact about it. That's great. Mrs. Doubtfire's house. That's the worst. Yeah. There you go. That's the worst. I went to see Mrs. Doubtfire's house.

Yeah. I went to San Francisco. I didn't go. I feel so annoyed now. It's a really weird situation when you go there because obviously now as well as a bit of a shrine to Robin Williams. So there's like a tree that has just like people have laid DVDs and stuff there of like Jack and whatever.

Not his best work. But like, you know, he's just like around the tree and people writing like, thank you for the labs, Robin and stuff like that. And this is a bit weird. As a genie, you had to go and visit. As a genie. I had to pay my respects to the, to the, the image and other the best. Yeah.

What's your favorite Robin film? So Robin as if I know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And I think hook is still like I think it's such a good idea for film and they absolutely nail it and he's great in it. Yeah. And I still think when we talk about food, ah, the imaginary food banquet that they have in hook. Yeah. When they all sit down and it's all the imaginary food.

And even when they're, even when you can't see the food, it looks delicious. Those kids. Yeah. Amazing actors. Yeah. They're scooping they're scooping the bowls with their hands. What the hell this? Yeah.

Yeah. So he trashed it before it even had a chance. I love Hook. I love Aladdin. We try and get the kids to watch it. I mean, they're kind of in, but it's one of them ones where, let's do Hook because I can bear that. Yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean? Have you seen World's Greatest Dad? Yeah, not good. Yeah, I love it. Do you? Yeah, absolutely love it. Yeah, it's a Robin Williams film. Well, maybe I'll go back and watch it.

Bobcat Gulfway director. Bobcat's the boy. Yeah. He's a phenomenal fellow. Yeah. I thought it was really good. I watched it once years ago, so over 10 years ago, so maybe I'd like it more. I like to do that.

I'm not seeing that one. It's pretty dark. Yeah, he's very dark, man. Bobcat. It's a pretty dark film. Also, I quite like Jack because I went to see that after Term had finished when I was at school, so we were really excited to go and see a film and we got like a half day on the last Friday, but I also had food poisoning and I remember watching Jack as the food poisoning

lifted. So it's like, you know, when you feel like you're never going to feel all right again and then it suddenly lifts, I got that as I was watching Jack. So now I've got this physical memory connected with it. You know what? Goodwill hunting, you know, right? Yeah, it's good. I don't know, because you know him sort of good morning Vietnam and you've up, but there's

something in that. That scene gets, you know, like, you know, I can hum. That is, I defy anyone that's not going to roar. You'd be fair, the Academy would agree with you. If you can watch that, not roar your eyes out, man. That's a special moment, that, isn't it? He tells us a funny story about his wife fighting, which is improvised. Is that right?

Yeah, Damon laughing at it, he's genuinely laughing at it. Well, in Jack, they all fight in a box and set fire to it, so. The original, great. Different strokes, different folks. My friend Dan, when he was little, him and his brother just got loads of ice cream and put it on the, so when their parents were out, they bought loads of ice cream, just opened all the ice cream tubs, put it on the kitchen table, looked at each other and shouted, Bangoranga, then ate it all, and then we're sick.

But they watched how they wanted to do a Bangoranga, but they let you shout in Bangoranga each other, and then ate all this food, and we're really bad, these sluggish people. Great choice for me, I think. Yeah, man. Fantastic choice. And it's also quite, so far, like, delicious, but not massive portions, pretty like you've got a lot of room here. Yeah, absolutely, yeah.

So your side dish could always be a... Yeah. It's all good, like, bar drinking food, so I think, yeah. That's important. Yeah. Is that important to you? Yeah, yeah. It depends if we're on a night out.

It depends if we're going anywhere after we leave the restaurant. Once I've eaten, I'm done, you know? Yeah. So, you know, we're just going to have a nice little pick at a few bits. Yeah. Side dish. See, I'm just going to... I'm just...

For some reason, I feel like it has to, like, work. I mean, I could choose anything, right? Yeah, sure. Yeah, anything you want. But it's up to you. I just go nachos, like, I just go... I just would. I would go with salsa, cheese, jalapeño, as hot as hell, just, you know.

It makes sense. Whatever you've chosen so far, you know, it doesn't surprise me that you would be a nachos guy. Yeah. I mean, I thought there's the lamb dosa, there's a takeaway in Leicester, it's such a strange little place, and they did these things, lamb dosas, right? It's sort of like lamb wrapped in a nan. Yeah.

And it was kind of who... If you knew about it, it was like in a lock-up behind the railway station, so there's no restaurant. It was like a... Great. Like a... It was next to a garage. Yeah, it's like a shack.

Yeah, yeah, it's the weirdest little joint. And I used to go, like, probably, you know, four or five times a month, maybe more. I reckon I probably did about four grand one year from that career. Really? I think at Christmas, they'd like all come and give me, like, wine and champagne. Yeah, it's fine. We'll do more. Yeah, I'll spend more next year.

It closed down and I didn't tell anyone. That's gutter. It was the worst. And it was just... You ring it, it's like, it's just ringing out. It'd be fine. We'll go somewhere else, and it was terrible. And to two years, right, and I'm not going to lie to you, every now and again, I'll ring.

Just didn't... Not even joking. See if they pick up. See if it's like... Even if it's an answer phone, just so you can hear their voice. The website's still there. They didn't close anything down. They're not to say anything.

So maybe they've just gone to, like, research new recipes, like, around the world, and they're going to come back with all this shit. That's what they're doing. Search they haven't. They haven't gone to research new recipes about the world, Serge. You're imagining them having their holidays? We've bought the greatest spices from all over the world to Lester. Just for you, Serge.

Honestly, I just... I'll sit there and just go, I'll try it, and they're like, just let go. I can't, man. The jail phrasing from there was, oh... Serge, if we had really closed down, do you not think we would have closed the website? Come on. Of course. We've been going around the world.

Doesn't say, like, sorry to the customers. I thought I'd get a text, maybe. Sure. Yeah. How could they do this to you? Like, this is how, you know, we would... I'd just text. That's how close we were.

I'd just text them, you know, I'm going to come around and get some food. Yeah, yeah. So they didn't even text you going, by the way, we no longer exist. No, exactly. I'm sorry. It's done, you know. Do you even know what happened to them? No, no.

They vanished. They vanished. Like, the shutters came down and it had gone. Oh, man. What was it called? It was called... I've got no idea. No, it was called...

Shit, man. My mind's gone blank. This is crazy. You've got them saved in your phone, I imagine. I have. But the guy was called Rippon. I knew he was called... Fuck.

Let me come back to that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm crazy that I can't remember. You didn't need to know because you had his personal number. Yeah, that's how close you were. Yeah. You're just like, I'm going to get some lamb dosage and some Rippon. Man, this has killed me.

I'll get my phone in a second. I'm going to... I can't... Do you know what? Do you know what? Look, there's a whole episode of this where I try to remember what I dipped some poppadoms into. It took a whole episode.

What I dipped into some sour cream and like, you know, people... Are you trying that really weird? Are listeners like this kind of stuff? Yeah. Don't feel bad if you can't remember yet. Do you think that's abuse? So you think that you got abused by the lamb dosage guy? No, no, like alcohol or...

Oh, okay, sorry. Oh, no, I think you're so... No, no, not him abusing me, no. Okay. Do you think like... I think you're so close to him. How I can't remember that something so special that's frightening a little bit. No, because would you use the name or would you say you just go...

Sometimes I get stuff like that. Yeah. Would you even use the name or would you be like, I'm just going to go to Rippon's or I'm just going to go to... Yeah, I would say I'll text Rippon. I'll text Rippon. Yeah, you text Rippon. Yeah, text Rippon about to get some buses.

But are you choosing the lamb dosage to your side? No, I'm going to go because I feel like that's too stodgy and I feel to accompany the taco, I just... The nachos from the taco here because it's the same joint. Oh, right. So, I mean, merely have we had two... Oh, great. That's good.

Yeah, I do a pretty mean go of it myself, to be honest. And you say hot as hell. Yeah, I found this sauce. It draws at home like full of sauce. I mean, yeah. And I found this sauce from South Devon. It's like a hot chili sauce. It's got like a skull and crossbones on the front.

You know what I mean? Yeah. It's quite cartoonish though. It's not like Dave's stuff that's like ridiculous. Yeah. And that on the side. But you've got to be very careful. I mean, I'd even pipette that on.

That's how hot it is. I'm scared to ask this, but can you remember what the sauce is called? It's called South Devon Chili Sauce. South Devon Chili Sauce. Yeah. I think I've had South Devon Chili Sauce. It's good, man. It's really good.

Hot. Weirdly, in later life, I'd now hiccup if anything's too hot. Ah. So, we get sent quite a lot of sauce from the Rib Man, who runs an amazing food stall on Brick Lane. Nice. And he does his own sauce. He does Holy Fuck, which is an excellent sauce.

The Holy Fuck with Bacon. But also, he does one called Judas' Scary Hot, which he sent me a bottle of. And I've had it twice. And it gives me hiccups. Yeah. That's scary though. Yeah.

Some of it. I mean, I am, especially when we play in Japan and stuff, I would take like, I would take a Nando, hot Nando sauce in my pocket when I'm out. Right. Always. That's always, that can save any dish. Yeah.

And what heat you're going at Nando's? I mean, I don't think the extra hot's that much hot than the hot. Yeah. That's right. Correct. Big news for me. Yeah. I'm up to extra hot on chicken now.

Well, I always get the, I get hot on the chicken, but then I'll get a bottle of extra, extra hot. I do extra hot on the chicken. Do it, man. Because it's delicious. It's actually quite fruity that sauce. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

It's not that crazy. But that'll always come in the pocket. So we'll always, always, I'll always have hot sauce. Yeah. My wife, beautiful wife, she carries. I'll make sure there's always sauce in the handbag before we go anywhere. Have I talked about when I went to New Zealand and Nando's yet?

No, I don't think you have. Have you been to Nando's in New Zealand or Australia? Yes. Absolutely abysmal. It is. No, I'm with you. Diabolical. The wings are well weird, aren't they?

They're like actual wings. Well, let me give you a little list of things. They've got all the feathers on. He's weird. Fucking well weird. Who's the laundry list complaints for you? Number one, let us go from when I walk in to the rest of it. Number one, I had to seat myself.

Walk in, no one comes up and sits. Sorry, gourmet Raj. Got it. Sorry. Love it. I saw it too. Thank you. I'm very relieved.

Yeah, I'm really, yeah. Thank you. That was really hanging over us. Oh, God. Right, I walk in, I've got to seat myself. No one asked me if I've been to Nando's before. They didn't even come up. No one asked me if I've been there before.

Right, I've got to sit down myself. Sitting there. I can get my own menu. My usual order isn't on there, so that's annoying. Yeah. So I can't get the... We can't go down this alleyway again, but you've got a weird order. Normally, Serge, I get double chicken fillet wrap.

Double. Hot with cheese and pineapple in it. Pineapple? Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's what I do normally. Serge is making the face of the nation. Well, that was some progression, actually.

So I recently started getting the thighs. The thighs are good. Hot with the spicy rice. I just put it all in a box together. But my regular order isn't on there. That's annoying, right? I order a side of coleslaw. When that comes, it's not like creamy coleslaw

like we've got over here. Yeah. It's like just like dry, like sweaty, just horrible gross coleslaw, not Nando's coleslaw. Yeah. The hot sauce is a label differently. The extra, extra hot sauce just says bloody hot sauce because it's fucking, because it's in New Zealand,

so really bloody hot. Oh, it's bloody hot. Well, I don't care. The fable or the legend of the Barceloros cockerel or whatever, you know, that legend, always on the wall, there's like the legend of the cockerel is written on the wall. Yeah, yeah.

I've never read it, but yeah, I know what you mean. Yeah. And each Nando's, they make a nice effort to make it look like, you know, they do it in a mosaic or they do it in a nice thing. This one, they're just written it on the wall. There's a big fuck of pipe running through it in the middle. It's really disrespectful.

There's like, what's the point? They just stenciled it onto a wall with a pipe going through the middle of it. Also, this is my biggest... Oh, no refillable soft drinks. They give me a bottle and that's it. I can't go and do needles. Yeah, that's not on.

Really annoying. The worst part of the whole thing. Oh, no Nando's music. No, they're playing Michael Jackson, the greatest hits, number one. They're playing that. That is not Nando's music. To play that album, number one.

And then, the worst bit was that the courtesy cockerel, the thing that they meant to come and take, they went to him, it's everything okay with your meal and then take the cockerel away. That guy was with me for the whole meal. No one came and took the cockerel away.

The whole time the cockerel was there staring at me while I was eating my dinner. Is it called the courtesy cockerel or is that something you've invented? I think it's called the courtesy cockerel, isn't it? Hang on. You can't think it's called the courtesy cockerel. You can't assume.

The courtesy cockerel is not something you assume. Yeah, I might have invented that. But, I think that makes sense. It's called the courtesy cockerel. It does totally, yeah. I'm pretty fond of the courtesy cockerel. You should copy right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There'll be other stuff that I'll remember. Because there was a lot of stuff that really ticked me off. Australia had one in Sydney or Melbourne or whatever. They were early to the game, I think. Sure. Like Australia or New Zealand with getting Nando's. It's not everywhere.

Is it? It's a South African company, right? Yeah. I've had it in Cape Town. Yeah. It's good. Yeah. It's serious.

But, yeah. I was trying to say, I remember the wings actually felt like they had the wings still on. Like the feathers, they'd fried the feathers. That wouldn't put it past them. Odd, odd sort of shape. I'm going to put it, I'm going to put it out there. I'm not sure that's, we can say,

that they definitely had the feathers on them. Oh, okay. No, no, no. Well, they just looked, they didn't look like wings to me. Did it remind you of a magician stuff? They were more. They were more.

Ha! I'm going to guess now that you're a drink, because you're doing stuff that goes together. I feel like there's a beer or a lager on the horizon here to go with all this stuff, but like a nice crisp. Like if, right, so the, like with that, as you say,

a nice crisp beer or margarita, beautiful. But there's a, there's a, an incredible curry house in Hampstead called Paradise. And there's a guy that runs the joint called Wasell, who's, you wouldn't find a more beautiful host. Yeah. Kind of guy that you'll just say, it'll pollitate, you know,

it'll just pull one out the back. If it's full and you just go, you can sit here, just sit in the middle, it's fine, you get on with it. Yeah. Do you text him? Yeah. Do you?

Because the food's good, man. Yeah. No. Here's a question. It's a key. At what point after you've been, because this is a running thing for you that you do quite a bit,

at what point do you go, can I just have your number, mate? Well, he gave me his card. Oh, okay. Right. Yes. I wouldn't ask ever. So you don't ever go?

God, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. I don't know how good food is, because I'm like, do I want to just start this? Yeah, sure. But it's all good.

And I also got a burner phone that I can text from there. So at the end of the meal, right, he goes, do you want the nut trilogy? The nut trilogy? The nut trilogy, right? And it's like, okay, man. Yeah, sound.

The first time I went, and he brings out free shots of like nut liqueur on the house. Yeah. And they're all pretty incredible. Right. And I don't know what any of them are. There's definitely one that's,

there's a pistachio looking thing. Yeah. And then there's definitely amaretto. I'm sure that's one of them. Yeah, yeah. And then there's another thing. Like a hazelnut thing, maybe. Yeah.

Fucking old man in it. And then before you know it, you're sort of like, right, where are we going now? We're out. Okay. Do they put the cream on it? You know, sometimes you get the curry house,

you get the cream on top of the... Like a couple of after eight minutes and then a nut trilogy. On the house. On the house. On the house mate. Nothing. Nish.

The nut trilogy. So good. It does sound good, the nut trilogy. It's phenomenal. It's a good place as well, man, if you were... And is this on,

is this like on the menu? No, no, this is extra. This is like what Sel sort you out. Yeah. Do you text the head for the nut trilogy? No. It just comes at the end. I do kind of,

now we just go, let's make sure we do the nut trilogy at the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And does it, do you have to do it in a certain order? No, you just go. But again, it's a talk, like we can go,

the green one's a bit, you know, what are you getting from that? So it's not a traditional, it's not a traditional trilogy. I don't think so. You don't have to do it in order. I just love how it's called

the nut trilogy though, you know what I mean? What's your favourite film trilogy? Huge question. Probably got a toy story before the fourth one. Sure. Because I do like the third toy story. I've not seen the fourth one.

The toy story trilogy. You can have the toy story trilogy. Bloreless. What shot from the nut trilogy would you pair with which toy story? Hold on a minute. I've gone big there. That's where I was going with the title.

That's what I was driving towards. Let me just, I've gone quick on that because it's like in my mind, because I've just seen that there's, there's, you know, back to the future. I'm not sure.

The Cornetto trilogy's quite good. Yeah. God, it's a tough one. It's segue quite nicely into desserts. Shit, I'm gonna go there. Cornetto trilogy. Yeah, man, because it's a food programme.

Yeah. So we've got Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz and World's End. Yeah. And then you look at those shots. In that order as well. Are you having a pistachio,

pistachio shot with Shaun of the Dead? Yeah, like the zombie slime. Yeah. Like it. Yeah, yeah. Like it. The Amaretto. Amaretto.

It's probably Hot Fuzz, right? Yeah. Sorry. Yeah, yeah. Hot Fuzz. Sort of hometown. I think it's a garage hometown. The one you all recognise.

Yeah. And World's End's the one we don't know. Yeah. I've got no idea what it is. Yeah. And that sort of thing. I think they don't know what's going on. They don't know about the aliens and shit.

Yeah. There's a bit where he falls down on the car. And then he goes, I'm fine. That's a good little bit, man. What did you say? He goes, I'm fine.

He kills me. And the way he goes, he goes code. And he bangs his head and he goes, Got any drugs? No. That's a good bit of that, man. Shaun of the Dead is up there,

and it's probably one of my favourite films. Shaun of the Dead is pretty perfect. I think my favourite cinema experience I've ever had, because normally I hate a full cinema, and it was so full. So good, man. But people, they were watching it like a comedy show.

Like it was, the roof was coming off. So, yeah. Shaun of the Dead's amazing. They're special. They're a phenomenal team, that, like, I think one of my favourite,

I know, like visual, it's in Hot Fuzz, when Patty Constain does the thing of like, he goes off shot, and then he comes back in. Yeah, man. And they do the,

with the noise. Very, I like his line, he goes, don't go in a twat now. Yeah. Patty's, Sorry,

Patty, worth talking about, Patty, how good he is, man. Yeah. Oh, yeah, he's amazing. Yeah. I would like, as one person,

I would like to sort of, I would love to meet that dude one day. So, from the Cornetto trilogy. Yeah, man. There we go. There we go. Now, I was,

there's obviously numerous amazing gelato I've had in Italy, and, and I did, I toyed with like, a bag of minstrels and a cup of tea, you know what I mean?

Just to be like, truly honest. Yeah. I'd like you to have that combo as well. Yeah. Because it's just like, leave the restaurant and go, no,

I've got a thing about hot desserts, we'll get to that. But I think, I would go, Ice Cream Van, Mr Whippet, like, strawberry sauce,

done. Oh, nice. Ice Cream Van Whippet. So you're going completely, now is this, because it reminds you of your childhood. I think, I don't know,

whatever they put in that stuff, man, that's, it's, it's a whip. In the whippy? Yeah. And it's the texture,

the cheap cone, the sauce, like, yeah. The sauce is, I think if you get sauce from an Ice Cream Van, it has to be strawberry sauce.

Yeah, man. All day. I don't trust the two cone though. You know, when they split them, I've never trusted them ones. Oh, no. No.

You don't like them. I just saw it. A magician's been in the van. Fantastic. Don't trust, don't trust the double cone. It splits off at the end. Yeah.

No, not for me. Too much Ice Cream. Just, you know, a nice whip, little flake. Yeah. The double cone is that thing where like,

I like how much more Ice Cream you get. Of course I do. But I don't then like, eat in the cone as much. No. I don't enjoy that experience of it. No. Well, where does,

does the Ice Cream go, when there's a double cone, does it go into the main body of the one cone, or does it just sit in the two cups? It sits in the two cups. Yeah. So you need it to, you need the Ice Cream to penetrate the main cone.

Yeah, man. You have to push that. You have to like, you know, strategically push the Ice Cream down. So you get the Ice Cream right at the end. Hate when you get like, just the cone.

Oh, just the wafer cone. Oh, yeah, that's not nice. It's hell. It's the wafer cone. That is hell.

You need the Ice Cream. Bite the bottom off the cone. Time, man. Some of the Ice Cream out the bottom. Nah, that's sick. That's just sick. Don't approve of the kids who do that. Mate,

nah, because you can kind of see the Ice Cream going down. Yeah. Just eat it, man. Yeah. It puts you on a time limit if you bite the bottom off straight away. Quite quick as well.

I've sort of, you know, I get through it quick. No messing. I don't like a drip. Yeah. Just get it down. Yeah, man.

Done. And a flake, right? Yeah, maybe. I used to like, in terms of like just chocolate bars in general, like, you know,

aside from Ice Cream, I just really did not rate a flake at all. No, too messy. Didn't get why anyone would go near them. Bullshit. When I worked in the kitchen though, and we would put flakes in Sundays,

you just help yourself to a flake, I got into it big time actually. It's in the fridge though. No. So that's why I think I liked them, because once they're a bit more like room temperature, a bit softer, it's real,

it comes together quite nicely. I just like, lob one in in one go. Yeah. I don't like sitting there having a little nibble, and like, treating it like an actual chocolate bar, and giving it that respect.

Yeah. But like, straight in the mouth, straight away, and just having it all kind of like, melting your mouth is good. I remember someone at school, they used to eat like Mars bars,

and Snickers with like knife. And then that pissed you off, man. Have you ever seen that one? I quite like the idea of it, from the fridge, with a little knife. Yeah. I like it out the fridge.

I like the refrigerator. Chocolate belongs in the fridge. That's controversial, but. It is controversial, because it often put like a weird, like white. It's got to be cold. It's got to be cold.

Yeah. I know, that's the thing. Dairy milk from a fridge, there's nothing better than dairy milk from a fridge. Hot desserts can fucking do one. Now, what, yeah, what's this? No.

Not having it, at all. Not having it, I don't know. 100%. Also, for the list of the ones that said fucking do when he flipped the bird with both hands.

Yeah. He gave the double rod at the end of that. Yeah, there was a finger for the chocolate fondant, and a finger for a sticky toffee pudding. Yeah. It's got to be cold.

What? You just can't deal with it. Roly Poly with custard? No. It's hot, like, I've just had my main course, man, I don't want it even hot now. Nice cooling sensation.

You want to cool down? Yeah. Sweet, cool. Yeah. Hot apple pie, no chance. Crumble? Not even a crumble?

No, man. No, not for me. I realize I'm just listening to hot desserts, and you've been very clear about it. I'm just like, yeah, I mean, not saying there's no wriggle,

there's nothing, even like hot, oh, try this hot brownie. Is it hot? No. Well, what if like, but if you say it's at the end of a meal, you want to cool down,

but like, what if you're not at a meal, and someone's just like, I just can't deal with it. I just can't deal with it. They do the best, oh, it's hot. Hot fudge brownies,

they're melted. It's too hot. It's too hot. It's cream on it. No. He's been very clear, James, about,

I'm just saying, there's no wriggle, I'm just saying. There's no, no, no, you know, it doesn't offend me

about what I'm talking about. But like, you just would never, has that been your whole life? I think so, yeah, that's an early one. Certain things

I've not been able to let go of. Maybe it's because dinner ladies. The puff of smoke. Mind me the dinner ladies, man, that could be the dinner ladies fault. Oh yeah.

The apple pie, hot custard. I love it. I love dinner. I love school dinner. Desserts. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That kind of, it's not the war, man. Yeah, I know what you mean. Yeah, like rations and shit. Yeah,

like little ration custard. Yeah, man. Yeah. We've moved on. I remind you, I picked a whippy, so it's not like most sophisticated choice.

Yeah, that was around in the war. Yeah, people like Mr. We've moved on. We're more sophisticated now on Mr.

Whippy, please. I mean, I've seen some beautiful restaurants and lucky to, you know, but I would go to, you know, I would just go back

to the ice cream van, man. Oh, like I just said, I'm not a fan of ice creams. It was a brief period of time where walls had come out with these things where

Oh, was it walls or no, it might have been cornetto come out of basically a soft, so you could do a soft thing for something?

Yeah, they were weird. Do you remember this? Yeah, I do remember. We talked about this before. We must have just talked about it,

I know this. Who let me working in an ice cream? Yeah, no, I'm sure we definitely do it. These were, pretty hard, and then it would all like,

so you basically make him a fresh cornetto almost. Right, I love it. Like a Mr. Whippy cornetto. The amount of those I ate, I mean, no prizes for guessing what I spent most of my day doing. Just like. Did you ever do that one? I always wanted to do that one.

And you just, you did that. Oh, absolutely. Oh, that is good. I thought I'd probably never get to do this again. That is like a good one. So yeah, I'll get under it. And it was either sandal chatting, depending on who was worse than,

would load one up and then just slowly like, yeah. I used to do it. You worked in a pub. You used to do that with beer, right? No, good. I would have on the bar. I'd love to do that.

I was in the kitchen. I've never done that. I've never lived. You just did that under the pub. Yeah, Guinness as well. Did you, how would you, you sort of arch? You've got to just really sort of like get under there. You'd have to take the tray out.

What about the CCTV? You never get caught? Oh yeah. I mean, I only worked there for a month. I didn't get fired, but I think if they'd gone through the CCTV, they would have seen a lot. She's like, what the fuck is he doing?

We used to have lock-ins and stuff, but the landlord would be there, but he'd be like, all right, you can go and have another pint, but you know, I'm keeping a running tally of it. I'll get you another pint. But then I used to go and I'm like, okay, I'll get myself another pint.

Quickly pour a pint down it and then pour another pint and go back out with a pint. Very clever. I feel really lucky to have worked in ice cream when those things were out. Yeah. Yeah, because it was a small window. They weren't around for very long.

Yeah. And lucky old me, a lot to work on. You know what they were? Legoland, still get them at Legoland. Yeah, we went six months ago and they had those there, because they're horrible. No, no, because they were just, yeah, Legoland.

Okay. If you want to relive the... Yeah, well... It's a bit weird, Legoland. I wouldn't bother. It's all made of Legoland, isn't it? Yeah, it's just needed refurb. Yeah.

Also, we had cart door, like just normal cart door, scooping. So what we'd sometimes do, get a bowl, scoop yourself some cart door, whack a softy cornet on top of it. This guy's lived a life. It's a maverick. Yeah.

Water, sparkling. Yeah. You would like to catch a bread from your uncle's bakery in Italy. Perfect. Starter, you would like the spicy buffalo wings from the Dublin. Yeah.

In Chicago. In Chicago. Main, beef tacos from La Tacarilla, San Francisco. Yeah. Side, nachos also from La Tacarilla. Yeah, mom. Salad cheese, hot as hell, with some self-debting chili sauce on it.

Yeah. Your drink, you would like the nut trilogy from Paradise Hampstead. Is that Mr. Whippy? Flake, strawberry sauce. Yeah. Love it. I'm happy with that.

Fantastic, that's a delicious meal. Thanks, boys. That's a really good one. Thanks, Mr. Jeanie, for sorting me out. Oh, anytime. And I feel like I'm a weenie. Yeah. What a great menu.

Delicious. Some big revelations there, I've got to say. What a big revelations. Apologies if any magicians are listening who can't eat if there's a musician on the podcast. I mean, shout out for that as a revelation. Might be one of my favourite podcast moments within two series.

I couldn't, I mean, it was as big as when when Christian Guru Murphy told us he'd never seen or heard of a Curly's ride or what. It was that level of moment, wasn't it? Yeah. Fantastic guest, fantastic meal, enjoyed it very much. He did not pick the secret ingredient. Mild NSLP.

Well done, he did not pick the secret ingredient. No big chunks of ginger for him. And you call him SLP there, of course. The SLP is the name of his solo album. It is, it's a debut solo album, it's called The SLP. Which is out this week, so go and check it out. The SLP. Get on it, get on it.

Go and give it a spin. If you're into what me and James do, you can check us out on socials. I'm at Ed Gamble Comedy on Twitter. You can go onto my website, edgamble.co.uk. I'm just about to start the second leg of my tour of my show Blizzard. And if you'd like to come and see me in London,

do one last big final performance of it, I am doing the Shepherd's Bush Empire. Go on my website for details. At James A. Castor on Twitter, over here. And also, this very week, my new book was released, Perfect Sound Whatever, which is about the music of 2016, how it saved my life, and how Ed Gamble is a little dweeb. Yes, I hope that's not true.

Well, it's in there, it's in the book. Oh, yep. If anyone wants to come to my organized book burning. Yeah. Very welcome to. Yeah, fine. Sam, I mostly said, you know, the best thing about the book burns was that they always had to buy a copy.

So he's a millionaire. Mate, you're sending me three ones, and I'm gonna burn them. Subscribe to this podcast, give it five stars. Check us out on the socials at Off Menu Official on Twitter and Instagram, offmenupodcast.co.uk on the internet. We love you very much. We will see you again in the dream restaurant. Say goodbye, Genie.

Goodbye. Don't go hungry. Hello, it's me, Amy Glendale. You might remember me from the best ever episode of Off Menu, where I spoke to my mum and asked her about seaweed on mashed potato, and our relationship's never been the same since. And I was like, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. It's never been the same since. And I am joined by me, Ian Smith.

I would probably go bread. I'm not gonna spoil it in case. Get him on, James and Ed. But we're here, sneaking in to your podcast experience to tell you about a new podcast that we're doing. It's called Northern News. It's about all the new stories that we've missed out from the North, because, look, we're two Northerners.

Sure, but we've been living in London for a long time. The new stories are funny. Quite a lot of them crimes. It's all kicking off. It's all kicking off. And that's a new podcast called Northern News. We'd love you to listen to. Maybe we'll get my mum on.

Get Glendale's mum on every episode. That's Northern News. When's it out, Ian? It's already out now, Amy! Is it? Yeah, get listening. There's probably a backlog. You've left it so late.