Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 32: Catherine Bohart

Episode Date: September 25, 2019

Comedian Catherine Bohart – as seen on 'The Mash Report' and 'Roast Battle' – is in the dream restaurant this week. Things get rude, Catherine's meal is flipped on its head and the genie is hungover. Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive Productions.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations).Catherine Bohart plays the Soho Theatre in London, 30 Sep-5 Oct. Visit the Soho Theatre website for more details.Follow Catherine on Twitter: @CatherineBohart.Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Ed Gamble is on tour, including a date at the Shepherd's Bush Empire. See his website for full details.James Acaster is on tour. See his website for full details.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, listeners of the Off Menu podcast. It is Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu podcast. I have a very exciting announcement. I have written my first ever book. I am absolutely over the moon to announce this. I'm very, very proud of it. Of course, what else could I write a book about? But food. My book is all about food. My life in food. How greedy I am. What a greedy little boy I was. What a greedy adult I am. I think it's very funny. I'm very proud of it. The book is called Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy. And it's coming out this October, but it is available to pre-order now, wherever you pre-order books from. And if you like my signature, I've done some signed copies,

which are exclusively available from Waterstones. But go and pre-order your copy of Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy now. Please? I will just take this podcast with two spoons to share, please. Welcome to the Off Menu podcast. Hello, Ed. Hello, James. How's it going? Oh, you know, tickety-boo. I'm hungover and I wish I were dead. You may remember that I was going to go in and drink all that, Death by Chocolate, that K.R.S. Matthews recommended. And I did it.

You've got the glassy eyes of a traumatised man. Yes. Yes, I'm a bit traumatised. And I really hope I can pull it out of the bag and get some energy going because I want to do the listeners proud. I don't want to let the guests down. It's very sweet of you, man. I'm sure you're going to be able to pull it out of the bag. Because this, of course, is the Off Menu podcast, where we invite a guest into our dream restaurant. We're going to ask them what their favourite ever starter, main course dessert, drink and side dish are.

And I guess this week is Catherine Bohart. Catherine Bohart. Catherine Bohart, wonderful comedian. Hilarious. Hilarious comedian. I've given her a few times and I went to see her first hour in Edinburgh last year and it was excellent. You lucky boy. Lucky boy. It was excellent. And also that year, I saw a show by Catherine's girlfriend,

Sarah Keyworth, who is another absolutely fantastic comedian. So in case Catherine makes reference to Sarah during the episode, that's who we're talking about, Sarah Keyworth. OK, fair enough. Yeah. But no matter how good a comedian she is, if she brings up our secret ingredient, she is out on her ear, James. And what's our secret ingredient this week? Oh, you'd be referring to radishes there, Ed. Radishes! I have no time for radishes.

Oh, boring. They're so boring and I feel, I think I've had one radish in the past. It was like peppery and exciting and crunchy, but every other radish I've had since then is dead. Yeah. And also the experience of it isn't worth it. No. This is too hard. Bite into it. I've got to wrap your teeth round that. If Catherine says radishes, bye-bye, Catherine. So without further ado, this is the off-menu menu of Catherine Bohart.

Welcome to the Dream Restaurant, Catherine Bohart. Hello. Hello! Oh, I'm Catherine Bohart. It's the genie. It's the genie. Oh, I am always so relieved when people know that you're a genie. Yes.

Because sometimes when we have people in here that we've never met before and they're like chefs or something, and I have to go, sorry, I should explain, that man over there is pretending to be a genie for the whole podcast. Sometimes you see the color drain from their face as they realize they've completely wasted their morning. Yeah, no, I knew what I was getting myself in for. I thought there's the morning gone. Good. I'm so excited to be here. I love this podcast.

Oh, thank you very much. And genuinely, as in, I have spent many lonely nights in hotels because we do comedy, where I've just listened to the two of you and wished I bought more snacks. It makes people hungry. It's a blessing and a curse. I can only listen to it while I eat, so it's really... But that's a good tip because so many people get hungry on their listen to it and also strap in because recording it is where you get the hungriest. Oh, really?

Yeah. I don't know. Be careful because then afterwards you just eat what's been talked about on the podcast. That's what all of our diets are now. Just three course meals. They eat things that come up on the podcast. That sounds like a great life you lead. Also, you... I know that you're supposed to be a genie, but...

Yes. And you're trying to do it all with your eyebrows at the moment. Just the eyebrows are carrying. Looks like a low-energy genie today. No, no. What? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

James is hungover. I'm picking the booze. Yeah, the lamp is full of booze at the moment. It looks like you've been lying in there. Swimming in Death by Chocolates. This is McGinnis, the two of me here in the vodka. Oh, come on. And I've popped out of it a little bit worse for wear.

Sure. But that doesn't mean that I can't match a couple of your favorite foods. Don't you worry. The food's looking to look sorry for itself. Unless you want it to. No, no, but I do feel like I'm not... I feel like anytime I get a hungover-looking waiter, I'm a little bit more distrustful.

Are you writing it down? The order? I'm a genie. I don't need to. Oh, maybe today you might have to, man. Yeah, I think maybe. I agree. If you get a hungover waiter, you can definitely tell they're hungover. No, I'm not going to enjoy this.

Get the notepad out, my friend. Have you ever had a way to tell you they're hungover? I have had a waiter. So I was just in Oslo doing gigs, and this guy sat down with my friend and I at the table. First of all, what do you do? Absolutely not. I know you don't approve, and second of all,

was like, oh man, I just... I'm so stoned. And I was like, get out of here. And the thing is, it's confusing in Oslo because everyone's so beautiful, so you're slightly more permissive. So I was kind of like, well, he does have a cute ponytail. It's Scandinavian.

You can say things like that. But I was also like, please, leave our table. Unacceptable, unprofessionalism, please get out. Yeah, but yeah, so yes. But also that. So I apologize for the state of our genie waiter today. You're not stoned at least. You're not stoned.

You cannot tell. It seems a bit like I am. Yeah, just a little. My mom puts tea and mores in smoothies. Really? Like a morning smoothie? No, not like milkshakes. When her girls are over and they want to talk about rude things,

she'll make like little... A lot of shoulder movements going on here. Yeah, she does a lot of shimmying. Sorry, I feel like I'm going to say boudoir any moment. Yeah, they talk about rude stuff and they put tea and more in. How often does she have the girls over to talk about rude stuff? No, not like that often.

Well, fairly often. I'd say more often than most mothers in that I know about it and I wish I didn't. Have you ever been invited for the chat about rude stuff? No, I just sort of skip through and then they ask me inappropriate questions like, what's fisting? And I go, I'm not your LGBT spirit guy, but also not answering that.

Can I have some tea, Maria? Yeah, no. Do you think there'll be a moment where your mom invites you as like an equal to talk about rude stuff? Or do you think... Absolutely not. No, my mother knows more about sex than I do. I will never be her equal, nor can I even aim to be.

Especially in like willingness to talk about it, that I'll never meet her on. She's so keen. She probably don't have to. No prompting. No, no, no. If she's doing drive-by what's fistings, then... Probably. She would do that.

She's also like, she's such a good ally. She's such a keen ally. I feel like she might not do drive-by. Well, she obviously did. That's not what she meant, but I think she would do literal drive-by like, get a girl's if she saw less. She's so supportive. She's too supportive.

I'm so sorry. I was very early in the podcast. But it was also paired with another lovely story about how supportive your mother is. That's true. She's very supportive. A lot of people say fisting until the dessert, so it's good to get it out of the way before we... I'd say if anything, it's better to do it pre-food,

but there you are. Most people now are just like, you know, we get to... The podcast goes out, you know, as it is, we edit it down, but normally you get to the dessert and we're like, I'd like to be fisted, please. And we're like, not again. My mum did this podcast.

Obviously, you always kick off with... Still sparkling water. Still, please, but can I... I feel like I always need to stress that I want to jug, not like, don't bring me a glass. I want a glass of water and I also want to jug so I know that there's more coming. You know what I mean? I get stressed.

I've never thought about it. That's what I like as well. Who's bringing just a little glass of water? Yeah, I want to know that... You want to top your own up, right? Yeah, also I would be... I'd say I'm an over-reader. I need assistance. The water kind of helps me through. Get it all down.

And I do want to be in charge of the jug when I'm dining, because I don't like the people who are too eager with the jug. So sometimes you have a... With every sip you have, they come over and top it up again. I don't like that. I completely agree with that.

There's a midpoint, isn't there? You don't want waiters who aren't attentive but you don't want waiters who are overly attentive. You need that little middle point just spotting when they need it. My dad is an interesting fella and this is what he'll do. And I'm completely on board with this now.

I used to find this embarrassing. So we go to a nice place and the waiter will keep coming over and topping up the wine and stuff. And very early on in the meal, my dad will go, you're coming over a bit too much. No, he doesn't! Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll top up my own wine.

That's absolutely fine. Your dad's a fuckboy. You're being a bit much. Sorry, you're trying to take care of me. That's a bit much. Yeah, he's done that before. No, but I'm completely on board with it. He's like, just to let you know,

you're coming over a bit too much. He sets boundaries early on. Yeah, I can pour my own wine. You don't need to worry about that. Wow, to be fair, at least I bet you don't have anyone sit at the table with them and tell them they're stoned. Imagine what he would say to them.

I'm so stoned. You fucking what? We're going to need to set some real boundaries. Wow, what a big move. I don't know if I'm that confident. I think by asking for the jug what I'm saying is, I've got this. I can be across the water situation.

One thing I do resent is when you get a jug for the table and somebody just tops up their own. Yeah, I really try and top everyone's up. Yeah, I don't like eating dinner with a solo topper. A sort of Darwinian drink. No, it's like each of their own.

No, I want to be nice. That's a scandalous move. If you see that, it's like, I can't. Yeah, you think, well, I'm not friends with you anymore. Yeah, I can't trust you. But I don't like people that I'm meeting with topping up my water too much. So very early on, I'll say, you're topping it up too much.

No, no, no. Pop it up. Pop it up. Pop it up. I mean, it's very alarming. It is. And you knew it was coming. I'm proud of myself.

I feel like you jumped because you're hungover. I was trying not to be sickle. I didn't want to be like, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to do that. I think the only reason I didn't jump because I saw you jump I said, oh, someone needs to take care of James.

I am. Oh, it's tricky, isn't it? No, I would say bread. I'm going to go bread. But I want a selection. I don't want none of this like, here's your one type of bread business. I want a big old basket.

I want like a sourdough. I want something with like grains on. I'd like a tomato bread or an olive bread. Oh, yeah. And also, once I was taken from my birthday on a very, very fancy dinner to Alan Williams of the Westbury,

Swit Swoo. And they did like whipped butter. Oh. Give that to me. I swear to God, I wanted to like put it in my handbag, but you can't, apparently you're not supposed to do that. Which my friend who had brought me there said many times.

Why best that you don't put it in your handbag because you might accidentally use it as moisturizer for your hand. Like you did before the podcast. I did lotion up my hands with a lip balm and then came in pretty lubed. Well, I'm really creating a reputation. Yeah.

Hi boys, the hands are lubed, let's talk visiting. Okay, they're pretty sticky. I need to go and wash them again because it's lip balm I put on my hands instead of my mistake. Geez, it's hard to make one mistake. One mistake. I think, but the whipped butter had apple in it.

It was crazy good. Like chunks of apple or just like apple flavoring? I think they'd probably like, pulse it in some way and then it was through it. I don't know how it was so fucking good. The essence of the apple. It was so, so good. But also, I quite like, you know in France when they have those like crystals

of salt in the butter. Which is definitely so bad for you. That is the best. It's incredible. My girlfriend used to live in France. She used to go, when I'd arrive to visit her go and get a baguette and some of that butter with chunks of salt in it. I could go through a block of that in a couple of days.

So my girlfriend's family are obsessed with the butter with salt in to the point that like... The whole family? Yeah, genuinely. So it's like they, we got to France a year ago and I swear to God, they like, they're like

locus, they like, but they like want to carve up the butter like you would a pizza. Like that's my section, that's your section. They're like, what are we doing here? I was like, oh, butter. It was like, no, fucking buy your own. And I was like, okay. That's why you wanted to put the apple butter in your hand bag. Yeah, just for my case, we went on holiday.

But also the butter was insane. It was so good. I also like an olive oil and balsamic. Sure, you can have both. With salt on it. I'm really into it. Salt to big things. Quite a big like, spread you've got already for the bread course.

Yeah, I love bread. Restaurants do that. Yeah, I mean, it's a lot to ask. They're not going to be happy about it, but whatever. We're always happy about it. Also, if they're charging for bread, I feel like I get to ask for whatever I want. How annoying is it when places charge for bread? Well, the cover charge.

When they say, oh, there's a cover charge. No, when people, like when they literally put it on the menu. What, but bring it to you anyway? Or you mean when it's like a... Yeah, okay, I see what you mean. Sorry to take me ages there. Yeah, it took you a while. Because sometimes they'll bring bread, but then there'll be a cover charge

and they like basically charge you for sitting down and the bread will be to cover that off. Hold on, is it like bring it anyway? Yeah, sometimes they bring it anyway and then you're charged for it. Are they paid for it? Yeah, it's crazy. It's a goddamn rose. That's awful. Yeah. But no, I agree when it's actually on the menu, like basket of bread.

Give me a break. When they put in a little extra starter list where it's like bread and olives and it's like three quid or whatever. Absolutely not. It's an outrage. I also, my least favorite is when you get to places and there's already bread on the table with cling film over it. What? What is this? Where the hell are you going?

To Lisbon and that was like a common trend. And I was like, make an end. Is this yesterday's bread? I don't want it. No, thank you. But the reason I'm ordering so much bread to be fair is I would like some to be left for my starter. Oh. I'm one of those people. Let's take that into this.

I'm happy for people to have some bread, but I also will watch to make sure we all got our fair share of bread. Will you take like two bits, eat one and then have one on your little plate ready to... What if the waiter comes up? No, no, no. I'm keeping that. Thank you so much.

And if you told him at the beginning of the meal that he was coming over too much, then that might not have happened. But he might not remember that because he's stoned. This is it. So you're saving the bread for the starter. Yes. And what could the starter be?

Okay. I'm quite nervous about this one. Okay. I don't like starters. Yes. There. I said it. I'm not into starters. If I liked it enough and it was savory, just give me a main of it, please. But also...

You get a little extra main at the beginning. I'm just not... How are you officially beginning the meal if you're not having a starter? Oh, it burns. This is an idiot. So I prefer dessert, obviously. Because... I have joy in my heart.

Hangover is loaded. But... The only thing that I find, and this is where I'm going to lose James, the thing I struggle with in dessert is the constant choice between cheese board and dessert. I don't think you should have to choose. I don't think cheese board is dessert, though.

Yep. You're really playing with her heart here, Catherine. So I went to my friend Josephine's house recently for a dinner party. And for starter, she did a cheese board. Oh! I'm back in the game. She did a cheese board! How has this happened?

Oh, the meadow is working. She did a cheese board! No, it's good! You must feel better about this, though, James. I know there's not a cheese board coming down the pipeline. Sure. Yeah, I feel good about that. OK, well, I thought you were going to kick off.

How easy was that? You can tell James's hungover. He's like, fine, I'll take the cheese. Come on. That's fine. Yeah, cheese board. That's a stroke of genius. OK, I have two questions. Do I still have a gluten allergy in the dream restaurant?

Interesting. Or is gluten-free bread great in the dream restaurant? I think we have, in the past, people have been able to... It's like a diner's choice whether they want to shun the... Yeah, so some people have stuck to their dietary requirements

and some people have gone, it's a dream, let's just go for it. No, I need a bit more... I think I need a bit more like... Guidance. I think I'm going to go with I don't have a gluten allergy. So then I can have the good bread.

OK, great. Similarly, I'm vegan. But I fucking love cheese. Like when I'm drunk, the thing that I want is cheese. And so, I'm going to say that it's real cheese. Because there's only one kind of good vegan cheese

so far that I've tasted and that's the... What's that? Sarah Pasteur gave me some. I've had that. It comes in a little wooden box. Yeah, this lady in Newcastle makes this heaven and it has the texture of goat's cheese and it's actually good. I think vegan cheese can recreate

goat's cheese pretty well, because that's crumbly, right? Because it's like basically ground up nuts, really. It's really, really good, whereas everything else tastes like glue. I really like the... I feel like vegan recreations and stuff is often good for the dirty, fast food stuff. Yeah.

If you follow your heart, slice cheese. There's a jalapeno, like cheese slices. You lost me at jalapeno. It's really good. Does it smell like feet? They all smell like feet. I don't think it smells like feet. They smell like feet and they taste like glue. I don't like it. No, thank you.

They're also so sticky. It's like, no. So that's not on your cheese board? The Thai cheese can be in there. There's a truffle one. There's also a sundried tomato one. That's excellent. I thought I was okay with this. I think it's great.

My only problem with a cheese board for a starter. Come on over. It means we can have more dessert. Come on. Okay, so first thing, Manchego and quince. Oh, yes. Yes, please. Manchego is in my top five cheeses. Oh my God, I love it so much.

Beautiful stuff. And like proper quince jelly. I've had Manchego with a bit of honey before, like at a tapas restaurant. Really good. I had a truffle honey before I went vegan. That was pretty great. So you're a honey denying vegan? I don't know.

I don't know where I stand on honey. I've had truffled honey somewhere. In Manchester. Of course, that makes sense. Yes, a great place in Manchester. Just to sum up how this podcast works, you're about to say something interesting about where you stand on honey within the vegan community.

And James just went, Manchester. He wants momentum. You know what I mean? He didn't keep it realistic. It's great. I don't remember the name of it. Here we go. This will be half an hour and then he'll suddenly scream the name of the restaurant

at the top of his voice. I look forward to it and probably give himself a fright. Manchego and quince, Stephanie in there. Brie, yes, please. Now, while we're on truffles, have you had truffle brie before? No. I'm going to change your life. Go and find some truffle brie.

It's like a brie, but in the middle, there's like a layer of this truffle sort of pasty stuff. Oh, my God. It's part of the Christmas ritual. I go to the shop up the road from my mum's house and I buy a huge slice of truffle brie. Oh, sweet God. I don't know if I'm allowed to have it.

Maybe I can have it on Christmas. Yeah, how are you going to have it on Christmas? Maybe. Is that child coming through? No, the baby crying. The baby crying. I'm not the only one who feels that way for a little baby. Do you really hate the cheese board that much? Also, my mum used to do a cheese board

in Halloween and she would collect leaves and dry them, wash them, paint them with glue, like make a board of leaves, like autumnal, it was beautiful. Okay, you don't get that. And put cheese on them. Just like make, like cover a board. The leaves off the floor. No, she would clean them.

How do you even clean a leaf? It's not a leaf. She would clean the leaf and then she'd coat it with glue, so it would basically be set. And then she'd make this, she'd cover the board. That's a healthy way of going about things, covering it with glue before you put it next to food. I think it's more like a sugar, like, you know, like a

food base. Like a caramel type thing. Yeah, like just to make it shiny. Also, I believe you said it was Halloween cheese? No, she did a Halloween cheese board. A Halloween cheese board, okay. She would do like a barbecue for the whole road. That's a whole other story. Do we have time for it? Yeah, absolutely.

So she'd do like a cheese board and then she would do a barbecue where she'd do like burgers and hot dogs at the front. The whole road? Yeah. Invite them over and go... Yeah, and she'd make a huge tie. Do you know anything about fistic? Who ever, who ever got a 69? She didn't even know about it then, no.

It's only, since she started watching Orange is the New Black, I also wish she didn't watch, but anyway. You can have onions if you let me know about fulcrum. Oh, no. I hope she doesn't listen to this and now ask me about fish. Please, help yourself to the leaf cheese board. Do you know what a dirty Sanchez is?

How dare you? Oh, God, I genuinely feel I'm like anxious when I'm going to be asked these questions. Yeah, yeah, they ask all these questions. Would you like bake a pumpkin and then serve a Thai pumpkin soup out of it? That's amazing. That's really good. That sounds very good.

It was, nobody minded what she asked, but it was excellent. So, Manchego. Brie, maybe the truffle one. I don't know. I quite like a compte. Yes. That's in my top five as well.

Did you say a fly? A fly flew in my face. Well, then how could you possibly be expected to listen? I'm sorry. Famously, if a fly flies in James' face, a compte, did you say? Yes, please. Oh, I quite like some strawberries to go with my brie.

Brie wind. What the hell are you talking about? If they're macerated and balsamic. That's too much for me. Is it too much? I mean, it's your menu. By all means, you have that. Or maybe just some apple? I believe, no, but strawberries and brie is known as strawberry.

I think that is the official name of it. You are so happy with this. Would you like some strawberry? He looks so pleased. James is obviously one of the finest comedians in the world. He's hugely inventive. But when he comes up with a dad joke,

that level, that's the happiest he is. Amazing. I'm having a rollercoaster ride today. I was battling flies and stuff. I'm trying to remember Manchester restaurant. Strawberry, perfect. Also a smoked cheese and also a goat's cheese and ash. Yes, please.

Those are all my requests. Specifically, ash. I like the ones that have ash on them. Are you sure that that's what you had or it wasn't a bit of the leaf? I'm sure. There's a leaf on the Halloween board. It's just your mum tapping a fag over the top of her.

No, it's just the barbeque hat. It's just the barbeque hat. No, my mother doesn't smoke. What about a wedgie board? A wedgie board. Could you double it up for cheese? Halloween cheese board. She'd love that. I'll tell her.

That's a brilliant idea. Okay, I'm glad we workshopped it. No, it doesn't work. Go on. Can I also have some crackers? I know I have my leftover bread, but I just don't want to get anxious. Bring you some more bread as well if you want.

Oh, my God. I think I should keep my pre-starter bread. I think I should keep my pre-starter bread. And then we just have crackers so they're not too full. Absolutely fine. This idiot likes the one that looks like a loaf of bread cracker. I like that one. What?

When you get a selection of crackers, like in a Jacob's cracker box or something, and there's all different types of crackers, they have a hovis one that says hovis on it and is in the shape of a little loaf. If you put a really strong cheddar on there, it's absolutely delightful. That does sound good.

I love a digestive. That sounds great. You put one of those on there. They also do little really thin ones called biscuits for cheese that have got nuts and dried berries in them. Oh, no, you lost my berries. We'll take them out.

You want strawberries with the brie? Yeah, but I don't want dried... Oh, my God, make it end. Oh, we're intolerable today. I said that in a way that suggested I'd come up with it. That's how please I was to say it. You really did. You really did.

It's a perfect pun, James. Well done. It's perfect. Strawberry. Is it a pun? What do you say it was perfect? I'd say it's happening. You've not said it yet. I think a lot of the joy is in saying it. So if you'd like to say strawberry

and the joy with which you can say that. I think it's perfect because one, I hate the joke, but also two, I feel like when Irish people say stuff like strawberry, people are like, oh, they can't say the word. We're like, you can say the word. Yeah. But you said strawberry then?

Yeah, I said it. I didn't know it wasn't filled with joy. I'll be honest with you. Can I just say, we've heard a lot about your mum already. She sounds absolutely amazing. Oh, my God, she's a queen. So doing all the barbecue stuff on Halloween, the leaf cheese board, which is a joyous thing to do. Yeah. So my mum,

we always had to cook with her. From really young, we learned how to cook and she's the best cook. I know every time I pick something that like when I choose things and I'm going to choose things that she hasn't made, I'm going to feel like an ultimate trader. But also in her older age, by which I mean her 30s, obviously.

That's what she would want me to say. She's gotten quite healthy. So she's like taken up gardening. So she does that instead of baking now, which is the worst thing she's ever done to me. That's where all the leaves are coming from. It's a fucking nightmare. And we have to pretend to care about the herbs that she's growing as much as we cared about

like homemade sausage rolls and cakes. Rosemary looks lovely. Bung it in a sausage roll. Yeah, she was... She's amazing. I mean, I was the kind of obnoxious kid who would go to other people's birthday parties and be like, I didn't know you could buy birthday cake.

Oh, my God. That was the worst. She's great. She could go to the party party. Oh, did you make this? It's so professional. It looks so great. Oh, you didn't make it? Oh, you didn't. Okay. Yeah, my mum could make her own caterpillar,

like none of those nonsense. And her own Colin the caterpillar. And she made an amazing train. Like a proper train. It was incredible. For you? My brother was big into the train cakes. Multiple carriages, multiple fillings. What an exciting time.

A different filling for every carriage. Come on. Across the top, did she pipe, what is Daisy Chaining? No, I said that across the top of the train. Someone tell me what Daisy Chaining is. My 7th birthday, no, she didn't say that. Colin the caterpillar's got a big speech bubble going,

I'd like to hear about docking. Are we no longer know what either of the things that you're talking about are? And now I feel like my mother, because I'm like, what is Daisy Chaining with James? It's when people sit in a circle and all wank each other off.

Oh, God. Is that something you've done before, James? No, I've not done it before, but like, I guess I could use my genie powers to make it happen one day. Your main course. So you've started with a cheese board. This is flipping everything on its head.

So I don't know what to expect going into this. Okay, I'm all over the shop. I think I said this to you before. You're going to be able to tell that I... What part of the month I chose my menu? I just want all of the comfort food. Okay, so have you been to flesh and bun? Yes.

Okay, they do a grilled miso aubergine that goes in a bow with pickled cucumber and carrot and lettuce and hoisin sauce. And I want that please. Wow, that sounds very nice. I've not had it before. I've only been to flesh and bun once.

I really, really enjoyed it, but it's from the people that brought your bone daddies, right? Which is one of my favourite restaurants in London. Yes. And Shaq Fuyu, the same people. And that grilled miso aubergine is available at all of their places

in various forms, and that is phenomenal. It's so good. Honestly, they usually get to a point where Sarah and I have talked about it so much that we have to go, and then every time I think we were just drunk last time,

it can't have been that good, or we've overhyped it, there's no way. Then we have to get all of our conversation out of the way there, because as soon as it comes, that's it, we're done, no talking. It's like, do not speak to me, I'm having a moment. And I honestly, yeah, I mean, it's incredible.

How big are the bow there? Is one of those enough for a main course? I just keep the bows coming. They give you a thing of four, but you usually get it. Of course, because they do it, they give you this filling, and then the bow separately, and you build them yourself. So your main is bottomless bows?

Yes, please. Making sure that that's about right. Yeah, bottomless bows, excellent. I mean, they're so good. Also, I wasn't sure how I felt about bows, because I come from a very, like, bread... bready background.

My family loved bread, my mom's always making bread, and I was like, what is this? It looks like, sort of, weirdly squashed, white bread. It looks like the ghost of bread. Exactly that, but actually, it's just a cloud. It's a revelationary cloud, in which you can put loads of stuff,

and it's just so good. Also, we've been dating long enough that, like, it doesn't matter how we look when we eat. Nobody's trying to get anything. We've eaten, don't be ridiculous. Yeah, you can just go to town. It's so important that, I think,

that's a real moment in a relationship where you're like... Just go face first into a plate in a restaurant. Yes, please. When I first started going out with my girlfriend, we went to Wagamama too early in the relationship, and she had noodles, and it was a whole thing.

Did you have to think about it? She was, like, trying to almost cover her mouth while she was eating it, but then she'd, like, cover it, like, some noodles coming out the bottom so she looked like Dr. Zoidberg. I feel like I would love a girl more if she was like, second date, let's go.

Yeah. But I think the attempt to be demure is where it all gets... Oh, yeah, and it was clear what was going on, so we had a laugh about that. Yeah, a little laugh at Zoidberg. You made it through, that's great. Oh, my God, have you had the Wagamamas

bang bang cauliflower? I haven't yet, and so... Yeah, that's not spicy at all. No, I know, but I'm Irish, so in order for me to eat bang bang cauliflower, I have to go to Wagamamas, ideally alone, without makeup, so I can wipe my face.

I'm not very good with spice. I love it, but it does not love me. Right. Here's our question for you. OK. My sister's coming to visit soon, and she wants a food day around London. Do you want her to date your sister? Not date.

I was like, no. But also, the level of offence on James's face is like, pardon me, no, she's not a lesbian. No, here's what I thought you said to me. I'll tell you what the offence... I thought you said to me, you're going to date your sister. And I was like,

I'm not dating my sister. You're dating your sister, that's disgusting. No, no, no, you'll be welcome to it. But like... Oh, my God. But she listens to this podcast quite a lot. What a supportive sister. Yeah, yeah, she's cool.

The question I was going to ask. Sorry, yes, I'm not dating your sister, but she wants to go on a food day around London. Yes, and she has asked specifically if there are any good aubergine dishes. I haven't really been able to come up with any. So that's that one, but do you know any other...

OK, if she gets on a train to Brighton from London, have you eaten in Terre Terre in... No. Oh, my God. Also miso glazed. Sorry, very boring aubergine. But like a roasted aubergine,

it's fucking incredible. I would say it's worth going there for it. Miso aubergine is amazing. It's going to sound like a... Yeah. Shaq Fu Yu. If you go to any good Japanese restaurant, they will have a glazed

miso aubergine dish. It's called nasu dengaku. It's the Japanese name for miso aubergine. You said that was such confidence. I knew what it was. It's nasu dengaku. I'm willing to bet that Mildreds have something aubergine focused as well.

They're always good for me. As a vegan, do you enjoy Mildreds? Oh, my God, I fucking love Mildreds. That was one of the first places I went. So when I got here, or got to London, and I had gone vegetarian about three years before in Ireland, which was a slog.

But I could not eat another buffet. I was like this... There was one restaurant for a long time called Cornucopia in Dublin, and it was all buffet. The food's great, but it feels like it was the only place you could go. It was also the only place you could go to meet women, so it was like a real...

I was like, I'm never getting out of here. I'm gonna have to wear sandals forever. But Mildreds is amazing. I blew my mind when I got here. More than one option. What do you mean there's a table? What do you mean there's cutlery already there? It was crazy.

My mind was blown. Also, I don't know if they have a policy, but all of their waiters are incredibly cool. Have you noticed their wait stuff? Yeah, to be fair, I've never come away thinking they weren't cool. Yeah, well then, that'll do. Do you think that's a hiring policy?

Are they allowed to do things like that? It'd be like you're not cool enough. I've been on Rupert Street. I've been going there for years, but I think it's closing soon, which is really sad. I think they might be moving, but it's a Russell Norman restaurant,

so the guy like Pulpo and all of those. And it's like you sit up at a bar. It's like a New York style restaurant. You've lost me. Give me a table. There's no tables in Spantino. No, I'm sorry, are we role playing? Why would I sit at a bar?

At a hotel, then I'm going to need a table. Absolutely not. You speak, you can chat to the person working there, but my point is... Do you want to chat to the person working there? No, I don't. My point is, they all have tattoos. For ages, they've all got tattoos.

And I just wonder whether that's a thing that they're allowed to do is go, you've got no tattoos, I'm sorry, you can't work here. I doubt they're allowed to do that, but maybe they have an initiation. That seems like a thing you're allowed to do. You've had up your own body. Oh, oh.

Caffeine Bauhart. Oh! Oh, my God! Oh. Oh. What would you like with your side dish, Caffeine? Also, flash and burn. Oh, great, no that's good.

I know it feels weird. Yeah, they have a broccoli with miso, shallots, and orange, and it's charred, and it's so good, it's so good. So do you normally, is this a combo you normally have anyway? So when you go to the question button, you always have the boughs and the brook. Yeah, we've stopped pretending we're going to share now, we just order enough food for two people each, and we just... That's very interesting, because that's a very sharing-based restaurant, I'd say. You get that big plate of stuff, you get the bow, and do you both get the... Yep, we both go our own way. Do you both get the aubergine? You get the same dish, so you don't think we'll get one of those and then something different to share?

We've tried that. Do you sit on the same table? I mean, they make us, so yeah, but yeah, they're like, you can't have one to yourself, especially when you're clearly shouting at each other. No, yeah, we just get our own. That's great, that's really good, you two know each other. I mean, it's the same as family divided at the bottom, she's not going to share a bag like that, that's not going to happen. Never going to happen. But also, they're just so good.

Also, we don't eat out as much as we would like to, like in an ideal world, we would eat all three meals a day. And so when we do eat out, we're like, we can have what you want. I love a broccoli side, especially charred broccoli, because it feels like you're being healthy, but also it's a real treat. The orange is just with the smoke, it's amazing. Because it's so smoky and then, oh my God, oh my God, it's a dream. Yeah, I think orange and smoke is a very nice combo. I tried to make it at home, it did not taste the same. I made some candied broccoli.

It's very sad. I bought that smoke in a bottle, which it turns out you're... It's not that good. You bought it? You bought smoke in a bottle, did you say? Yeah. What's this? Liquid smoke.

I don't know about it. I've never heard about this. No concept of it. Okay, so it looks like, I suppose like cloudy vinegar, and it turns out you only need like a drop to make things taste smoky, but it has a slightly more accurate, I think, taste than if you barbecued something. Yeah, it's basically instead of like, you know, when if you're doing like some pulled pork and someone will like smoke a bit of pork on a smoker for like 24 hours or something,

it's to try and replace that taste. Like a marinade for tofu or like in a salad or something. Like it can be quite nice as a, like in part of a dressing, but you really have to use a tiny amount. Whereas at the start, I had no idea. So I was just like, I ruined some dinners. Um, but yeah, it's, I mean, it's theoretically a great idea. In practice, I would say need some work.

But you're a proper cook though. If you're doing things like experimenting with liquid smoke and trying to recreate stuff. I'm just a very cocky woman. I'm just like, I'm just like, if I see something, if I have something in a restaurant, I'm like, yeah, I can make that. Yeah. I'm almost always wrong. Don't let me, let me be very clear.

I'm, I never get it the same, but yeah. Like that's why I think I go to Mildred's last cause I bought their cookbook. So now I just make all this stuff. You do, you do it at home. Do you do the fake fried chicken they do? The satan? Yeah. The satan's actually, you know, it's just basically gluten.

Yeah. Oh, I suppose it's a nightmare for you. Yeah. I mean, I would like to, but it is just a cake to the taste of chicken. Yeah. It's delicious. That's why it's delicious, but yeah, no, sadly not. Has there been a dish that you've had in a restaurant that you actually have been able

to pretty much get spot on at home? They're curry. I can do. Nice. Mildred's curry. I can do. Um, I mean, I think with desserts, I'm quite a snob cause I'm like, it has to be something I can't make on the whole.

Like if it's, if it's in a nice restaurant, I want it to be something I can't make myself. So like, I think I make a better lemon meringue pie than most people. Wow. It's a big call. My secret is I have my smoke. Yes. And some orange. I, uh, I have my great aunt's lemon meringue pie dish and her recipe is baked into it.

Like in the, it's been like. It's magic. So it's just marinated the. It's like written into the base. I thought you meant like it'd been used so many times that the baked the flavor into the, you mean it's literally written in the bottom. Yeah. That's amazing.

Yeah. And that's, that's why I love making it cause it's like, it feels like my mom used it. But then how do you make it? Do you see less of the recipe? Well, the thing is you don't like, you don't mix the ingredients in the pie dish. You just put it in the end. I've never made the pie. James is imagining you put the base in and then go, right, what goes on?

Oh no. I guess it's just base. I would come to your drink. Caffeine bow heart. Caffeine bow heart. Oh God. Yes. Wine please.

Yes. Can I, can I have red? I want red with my cheese board and white with my main, but that's a weird reversal. You can't go from red to white. Can you? You can in a dream restaurant. Why, why, why can't you? I would think that's fine.

No. It feels weird to go from heavy to light. Are you taking the, the Catherine Ryan method of white is day wine and red is night wine. So you think it's sort of the. No, it's all day wine. I just, no, like we can, no, sure. It's fine. I just mean like, it feels, no, let's do it.

I will have a Malbec with my cheese board. Uh-huh. And then I'll have a pick pool with my main. A what? A what? A pick pool. A pick pool? Yes, please.

Where's that from? I don't know, but I like it. Yeah. No, that's fine. I've never heard of it. This is white wine, but like what? Yeah. What?

I've never heard of this before. It's not real sweet. Dry, quite dry. Yeah. I think. Uh-huh. I just know, I know nothing about wine. Neither do we.

I just know those are the two I like. Yes. And I, I hate Chardonnay. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I quite like a Ryoko sometimes, but that's all I know. Right. Couldn't tell you where they're from.

But I think that's, I think that's okay to know what are the ones you like. And it's kind of enough if you just know when you like to order it. And then occasionally branch out and try a new one. I don't know where, you know, Diet Coke's from. A great place. I drink it all the time. Yeah. Sure.

And it tastes like normal Coke these days to me. Because I, uh, I prefer Diet Coke. Yeah, I do now. So, I, I, I, I, I gave up caffeine in 2013. Mm-hmm. Does Diet Coke not have caffeine in it?

Yeah, it does. But I didn't know that. But this is a story, this is a story that James has told upwards of 10 times on the podcast. I'm so sorry. Yes, my apologies. Uh, I'll tell it for him. Um, he gave up caffeine. So he stopped drinking all, uh, all, all, uh, cola drinks.

And then when he came back and not drunk any of them for ages, and he drank Diet Coke and it just, so it just tasted like normal Coke to him then. I have heard you tell this story. Yes. I was like, oh, there's sort of a meandering non-ending to that. Oh, there it is. Yep.

I've felt this feeling before. I was feeling. Yeah. I feel neither confused nor elated. There we go. Yes. We're just further on in time. Did I?

Um, the genie's really intense. I only mentioned that you're intense because, uh, the most, uh, like, alarming moment I had at Melbourne Comedy Festival was James called me intense. And that was when I was like, oh, I've had too much to drink. Did I call you intense? No, I mean, I am intense, but you know, when, like, when James says you're intense, you're like, oh, I'm, oh, I need, that was like, I've had too much wine. I've had too much wine.

Cause you know, you had that, um, beautiful man who sang at your show. Yep. Paul Williams. Yes. James had to leave me with him for a moment while he went to the bathroom. He's a beautiful man. And James went, are you going to be okay? And I was like, yeah, but I didn't realize it was like, just be okay.

And then James came back from the bathroom and was like, has it been? And I was like, fine. And he was like, well, just a bit worried that Bo Hart would be a bit too intense for Paul. I don't know about his childhood, but it was fine. I don't have a memory of that, but I completely understand why I would be concerned. Because Paul is the opposite of intense. Yes.

Paul is the most laid back man in the universe. And I'm not laid back to be fair. That's a reasonable call. It's not a, that's not you saying that that's a true story. In a good way. I mean, I had seen James's show that day and audibly said, oh, James, quite a few times on the show. I get really worried for him.

So I can see why you thought it, but I, that was the, one of those moments where I was like, yes, I have had too much to drink and I need to go home now. Also Paul is a T total. So I was leaving. Oh, so I really was the drunk. I completely sober man with an absolutely off the leash. Irish woman. Catherine Bauer.

Yeah. I didn't know he was T total. That makes a lot more sense. Are you going to be okay? I'll be back in a second. Are you going to be alright? We're not trying to give the listener the impression that you have any sort of problem with alcohol, but your drink is two types of wine.

Red with your starter and white and white with your main. We can do that for you. Now, the moment we've all been waiting for, there's been a lot of hype from the moment we started this whole entire conversation with the starter, you were saying, I love desserts. Yes. Do you make the best meringue pie in the world? No, I said I make a better lemon meringue pie than most, but sure.

Let's say in the world. Yes. In the world. It's going to make my own curd guys. Anyway. You said you could outbake any restaurant. So what is it? What is Catherine Bauer Hart's dessert going to be?

I'm not going to help with my reputation as a drunk because I have a drunk answer and a sober answer. A third bottle of wine? No. I was going to tell you my sober answer, but then Sarah was like, that's not true. You're just ashamed to say what your favorite dessert is. Sober is my mother's sticky toffee pudding because she makes it with loads of dates and she puts pecans in the sauce.

It's fucking amazing. It's incredible. The dates and the pecans sound very... It's so good. And she puts double cream on and it's fucking amazing. And we usually have it for dessert on Christmas. And so we have to have our nap after dinner and then dessert because you need to work back up for it.

It's like a whole other meal. Did she put it on a board with loads of pine needles around it? No, she does not. But she grills it as well when she makes the caramel. So it's really, really crispy on the top. But then it's, oh my God, it's fucking amazing. I love your mom. It's amazing.

It's amazing. Genuinely, it's my favorite thing. She's tried every year to say she's not going to make it because it takes loads of work. I mean, it's been riots. Has she ever taught you how to make it? No, that's the one thing she keeps trying. Because often she'll write out books of her own recipes for me and send them to me. But then she keeps trying with that one and I'm not fucking learning.

I refuse. You refuse to learn. Because as soon as you learn it, she can go, I'm not doing this year. Exactly. Catherine can do it. And also, I just won't be able to do it as well. There's some things that she's just, it's a magic. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

One day you'll have to, you know, you're going to cook Christmas dinner. She's going to be like, I'm going to take some time off. How would I cook Christmas? And then you'll be gathering people around to carve the bow. Oh my God, that's what I'll do. I'll opt to make it one year. I'll make a bow and then she'll never let me do it again. Don't steal the bow heart joke though.

Okay. Absolutely no fear of that. If you do that, don't steal my joke. And no fear of that. Just like with a bow heart. Please don't do that. I promise I won't. Also, it's a stage name.

So there's no fear of my mother referring to herself as a bow heart. I'd break it to you. But yeah, so that's my favorite dessert. What is your mother's maiden name? Aubergine. Oh James. I'm so hungover. I can tell.

I'm trying to figure out my surname that had aubergine in it. I like it. It was a good try. Stop swinging now because you've done strawberry and bow heart. You've done real well today. You've got a tire on it high. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

So what's the real answer? The drunk answer. The drunk answer is, and I need to put some qualifications on this. By all means. So I'm going to say it and then you have to let me explain. The drunk answer is wedding cake. Okay. Not fruit cake.

If you have fruit cake at your wedding, I want you to tell me in advance. I'm not coming with our friends. That's fine. If you're not a happy person, that's on you, but I don't need to be sharing in your misery. So I'm not talking fruit cake. I'm talking when people have cakes for their weddings and there's a different layer on everyone. Because the best thing about drunk wedding cake is the quantity. You can have seven slices.

No one's even going to notice. Yes. Also the fact that there's more than one type of cake. Hello. Yes. I mean, yes, please. I went to Sean McLaughlin's wedding and they had this sort of maple and caramel, carrot-y cake thing and also a chocolate cake.

Oh my God. It was a fucking dream. Amazing. But also at weddings, nobody's like, oh, that girl has a plate of cake. That's insane. They're just like, oh, it must be for her table. Yes. Hello.

It's not for her table. So. Why would you think I wouldn't be delighted by this? You've chosen wedding cake as your dessert, which is multiple cakes. This is amazing. Okay. But some people really don't like wedding cake. And also.

James, can I just tell you something that might be happening for my wedding? Dude, wait till he hears this. Don't you dare say, no, no. I actually, I'll be with him. Don't you fucking dare say cheese cake. Believe me, Caffin. Don't even dare say cheese. That relationship is not long for this world.

It's not making the wedding. Don't you say it? I'm not getting that. And so, you know, they do like towers of wedding cake. No. You can, instead of that, you can get. We know because you're not original. It's just a bad idea that's been going on for ages.

Jesus. Absolute dickhead. But. Why? Why? Will we get pudding with the meal anyway? Yeah. Well, guess what?

Now that you've told me that and I know it, someone is going to be objecting to that marriage. Yes. Look, I don't mind if you want to have cheeses at your wedding. But why that has to be instead of. No, we're not going to. It's not going to be instead of. We're doing full three course meal, cake. Good.

And then later on, there's a cheese station. Fine. Happy with that? If you want a smelly dance floor, then off you go. Yeah. I'm pushing over that cheese station. Don't worry, Bohar. Please film it.

I'm going to shove it over. That's. Neither of you are invited. It's just people who. I am. The hurtful part is that I'm not enjoying it. I've got to save the date the other day. Oh my God.

What's harrowing about that is that like some people do that instead of cake. Yeah, they do. And I would never do that specifically to James. James is a groomsman. I'm not doing that to him. Also, you know, when you know that actually everybody wants cake, it's when you have to dress your cheese up as a cake. Yeah.

To trick them into thinking it might still be okay. Like, no, thank you. No. So what's in your, so you're putting different types of cake. Yes. At a wedding. Yes. Okay.

I would like a red velvet. Is that a flavor? Yes. Here we go. Is it? Or is it just a color? Now we're talking. It's a chocolate cake.

No. What? Have you ever made red velvet? No. It's a chocolate cake, but it's, it's dyed red. That's madness. It doesn't taste like chocolate to me. Yeah, because they use cocoa powder because it's from the war.

So they don't have like proper, they don't, they don't put actual chocolate. They started making it during, I think the maybe second world, during a war. Well, it was an American one, right? Yeah. So yeah, it's got to be second one. Yeah. To make it look like, because they didn't have a dense color because they weren't using chocolate or a strong cocoa powder.

Uh-huh. They would dye it. Oh, I didn't know that. Make some bangin' cream cheese. I love it. I love red velvet. Oh, the cream cheese on the red velvet cake. Yes.

Please. Yes. I would also like a carrot cake. You could have one. I want a proper dense chocolate cake too. Uh-huh. I mean, how many flavors do I get? Well, who's getting married?

Me. Okay, great. There's another flavor. Maybe I'd have something with like blueberry in. Okay. Is that crazy? Blueberry cake. No, that's not, that's not.

Like a Victoria sponge with blueberry. Yeah. Center. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think that's probably all I'd need in like one. And are they getting progressively smaller as they go up? I suppose so, but I, but the bottom is big, so it's fine.

So, but then, but then let's go in terms of size. So what's on the bottom? Chocolate. Next. Carrot. Next. Red velvet. Next.

Um, the, yeah. The blueberry Victoria sponge. And they'd all be made by my mom. That's, that's probably the order I would, no. Do you know what? I would maybe want to switch round the chocolate and the carrot cake. Interesting. My mom, for my dad's 50th, made a three-tiered cake and it was his, his favorite, um, black

forest. So that was the base and then carrot cake and then a lemon curd, um, Victoria sponge. Yes. That sounds very good. It was great. And she covered it in edible roses. I mean, what a lady. I really want some cake now.

Yeah. I know, right? Oh no. That's every episode, there's something that hits and I thought it was going to be the aubergine bow, but it's cake. I need cake. Yeah. I think, I just love that you can walk around with fistfuls of cake and everyone's just

like, that's probably her first slice. Yeah. What do you think? Do your mom with a fistful of cake? What do you think she'd ask you? Where the fuck did you buy that? I have one made. Um, but I think my favorite thing about it as well is that like most people appreciate

you eating loads. You know, like if you eat too much at a, at any other, if you like order a second main at the wedding, no one's going to be thrilled by that. But if you're like, that's not how this works. About 80 coins. For the hundredth time. You only brought a teapot. Whereas I think if you just keep it in the cake, people are like, great.

Get rid of it. Yeah. Yeah. We pick that. We, we have loads of it. Take it. Sarah's agent got married and they had crosstown donuts for their cake. Yes.

Hello. Yes, please. They had miniature ones and we panicked when we were leaving because I hadn't had enough of them. I mean, I'd had a plate of them, but I hadn't felt like I hadn't enough and there was loads left. Very sweet that you hadn't had enough, but you both panicked. Because Sarah, Sarah needed to deal with me.

So Sarah went to the kitchen. Like there was like a, a window. Like what are they called? What's the word I'm looking for? Yeah. Yeah. And she just stuck her hand in and took out like a bucket that I think was used for food prep.

I helped was used for food prep and filled it with donuts for me and then we're in the Uber and it was only really there that we realized what we'd done and how unacceptable that was. We stole the bucket of donuts. Yeah. And the next morning we had to text Steph and be like, I'm so sorry. We took home 37 donuts, but at the same time we had a pretty joyous hangover. Yeah.

Eating from your potato peel bucket. Yeah. I hope that it wasn't not just like, yeah, for the mop. Take the mop out and fill it with donuts. We ate so many and it was so great. Amazing. Yeah. That's my answer.

Wedding cake. Wedding cake is good. Also, I have an additional question before we read the menu back to you. For this whole meal, are you dressed for your wedding? Yes. I think I am. Yeah. Which obviously is black morning clothes.

Yeah. Fair enough. So here's your menu back to you. Here we go. Go. Water. You would like a jug of still water. Yes, please.

Pop it on some bread. You would like a bread selection with whipped butter. Whipped apple butter. Mm-hmm. Starter. A cheese board. Manchego brie. The one that I would fly in my face for.

Comte. Yeah. I would fly in my face during that bit. Smoked cheese. Cheese with ash. Quince jelly. Oh, strawberry. Remembering his great joke.

Malbec. Main. Grilled miso aubergine bow. That's what they call your bow heart. Bottomless bow. Indeed. Bottomless bow. Side charred broccoli with orange miso and shallots.

Also from flesh and buns. So both of those are from flesh and buns. Drink. You would like some pickle white wine. But also earlier on. Yeah. So that. Dessert.

Ah. Stroker genius. The wedding cake. Chocolate carrot. Red velvet. And sponge. Victoria's sponge with blueberries. Yes.

Amazing. That's a really good menu. I mean, it sounds amazing. I want to eat it now. Yeah. It does sound great. I feel like if I ordered that at an actual restaurant though, the waiter would say my least favorite words, which is that might be a bit much.

Yeah. Oh my God. Well, what I've noticed as well, James is reading it back as he had bread with every course apart from the cake pudding. Okay. Okay. I don't have an allergy here. I've got to get it all in.

Yeah, yeah. Yes, please. Thank you so much, Catherine. Thanks for having me. Thank you, Catherine. Congratulations to Catherine Bohart on her wedding. And congratulations to me for not appearing hungover during the night. No, you did very well.

I don't think she even noticed. No, you did very well there, James. You were as sprightly and as accurate as you normally are. Thank you very much. In all your humour. Excellent punning as well from you. Thank you very much, Ed. I was hoping that didn't go...

I think we flagged it up when we made the pun. Well, I don't know. Maybe you snuck a few under the radar that I didn't even know about. I hope Catherine didn't miss the pun. I really tried to flag it up. But excellent menu. Check Catherine Bohart out on the social meds. Yes.

She's doing a run at the Soho Theatre. You should go and see that. It's Monday 30th of September to Saturday 5th of October. Go and check her out on Twitter and Instagram. That's where she is gigging. Next, I'm on social media too, at her Gamble Comedy. Check me out. I've got a special available on Amazon Prime Video.

Go and watch that. Come see me on tour. I'm also on social media. Thank you, James. And thank you all. Wonderful listeners for downloading the podcast, streaming the podcast, listening to it on vinyl, all that sort of thing.

Thank you very much. And we'll see you again next time in the Off Menu restaurant. Don't go hungry. Hello, it's me, Amy Glendale. You might remember me from the best ever episode of Off Menu, where I spoke to my mum and asked her about seaweed on mashed potato, and our relationship's never been the same since. And I am joined by...

Me, Ian Smith. I would probably give it a go. I would probably give it a go. I would probably give it a go. In case... Get him on, James and Ed. But we're here, sneaking in to your podcast experience to tell you about a new podcast that we're doing.

It's called Northern News. It's about all the new stories that we've missed out from the North because, look, we're two Northerners. Sure, but we've been living in London for a long time. The new stories are funny. Quite a lot of them crimes. It's all kicking off. It's all kicking off.

And that's a new podcast called Northern News. We'd love you to listen to. Maybe we'll get my mum on. Get Glendale's mum on every episode. That's Northern News. When's it out, Ian? It's already out now, Amy! Is it?

Yeah, get listening. There's probably a backlog. You've left it so late.