Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 45: Katherine Ryan

Episode Date: February 12, 2020

TV’s Katherine Ryan – the hardest working person in comedy – drops by the dream restaurant this week, and she’s brought gifts! What a couple of lucky boys.Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive Productions.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations).Watch Katherine Ryan’s stand-up specials on Netflix.Follow Katherine Ryan on Twitter @Kathbum.Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, listeners of the Off Menu podcast. It is Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu podcast. I have a very exciting announcement. I have written my first ever book. I am absolutely over the moon to announce this. I'm very, very proud of it. Of course, what else could I write a book about? But food. My book is all about food. My life in food. How greedy I am. What a greedy little boy I was. What a greedy adult I am. I think it's very funny. I'm very proud of it. The book is called Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy. And it's coming out this October, but it is available to pre-order now, wherever you pre-order books from. And if you like my signature, I've done some signed copies,

which are exclusively available from Waterstones. But go and pre-order your copy of Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy, now. Please? Oh, here we are again. Your tummies are rumbling. I can't think of an intro. Oh, it's a sad day. Well, we've not recorded one. Finally, it happens. I'll be honest, we've not recorded one in a while. And I forgot the part of my job was coming up with a natty intro. And then I remembered halfway through saying, here we are again. And I came up with our tummies are rumbling, which is real bad.

Yeah, you really try to claw it back. I was like, what's going on here? Yeah, no, I know. And now I'm touching my face like a sort of stricken person. Yep. Bring us a lovely podcast. Bring us a lovely podcast. Bring us a lovely podcast. And bring one right here. That's food related. Is it? Yeah, because it's normally figgy pudding. Yeah, but it's, you know, it's not Christmas, is it? What rule says it has to be Christmas?

The rules of the figgy pudding song. They're very well drawn. Anyway, welcome. This is a food podcast. I'm Ed Gamble, and that's James A. Custer. We're going to ask someone what their favorite ever starter main course, dessert, side dish, and drink are. Yes, we are. And our special guest in the dream restaurant this week is Catherine Ryan. Oh, you got in there quicker than me. That's very quick.

Very quick. Very good. Well, I thought we'd establish the rhythm where we go, Catherine Ryan. Yeah, absolutely. You're like, absolutely not. Mix it up. I thought, Joe, what if Ed's refusing to do isn't that all? I'm not refusing to do it. Better to start. I'll do it.

Come on, mate. That ship sailed. Well, it's Catherine Ryan, and we're very excited to have her in the dream restaurant. One of the finest comedians the world has to offer right now, and we've got to find in the dream restaurant. Absolutely. She's right here in the dream restaurant. And even though she is one of the finest comedians the world has to offer, if she says a certain ingredient that we have pre-decided on her.

So help me. As part of her dream menu, because I think we need to establish that, James, the way the secret ingredient works. It has to be part of their menu. It's not just if it's mentioned. Don't just mention it. We don't want to chuck you out for mentioning it for freedom of speech. If it's in the dream menu, she will be removed from the restaurant.

And this week, the dream restaurant secret ingredient is... Strawberry sauce. Thanks for going with me on that one, James. Yep. So we're talking about that horrible stuff that looks like fake blood. Yeah, yeah. Mainly that, that you get in an ice cream van. Yeah.

You might put it on your Mr. Whippy. Horrible. I don't like it. Sorry to the people who do that. I know this is going to be one of the ones. Yeah. Because, you know, the one we got the most backlash on was sweet chili sauce. Yeah.

I know there's going to be even more fans of this kind of strawberry sauce that you get in ice cream vans. I know you're going to kick off about it. They taste the same to me, sweet chili sauce. It might as well taste the same. They're the same thing. They're the same. They're the same.

It's just sugar. Red sugar. And I hate it. Yeah. So any red sugar, that's it. Kevin Vines getting out. I hope she doesn't pick it, but so help me God. I'd like to hear what she has to say.

So without further ado, let's hear the off-menu menu of Catherine Ryan. Catherine Ryan. Catherine Ryan, welcome to the Dream Restaurant. Thank you so much. Oh, good. Welcome, Catherine Ryan. We've been waiting for you. Now, James, I normally announce you in this situation and describe to the guest

who you are and what you're doing here. True. But I think you should introduce yourself this time. Catherine, pleasure to meet you. My name is James. I'm a genie and a waiter. Cool. Taking in a stride.

You know, Ed normally does a really long convoluted explanation about what. And also, he makes it sound like it's silly when he says it. He makes it sound like it's very like it's draining for him. But actually, you get it, right? There's nothing silly about the service industry. I worked as a waiter for a really long time. Thank you very much. And it takes a lot of skills, multitasking, math.

And then the fact that there's like a supernatural element, it's very serious. When you were working in the service. I just want to button very quickly. I'm so sorry. I just want to let everyone listening know. I don't ever make out the fact that James is a waiter is the silly portion of it. It's very much the genie. I'm not going, James is a waiter.

That's a stupid job. I think it's great if you're a waiter, be a waiter. But the genie element of it, because it was surprised me when we initially did it. We never agreed to the genie. And now here we are. Look how scared you are. I don't want to be cancelled. I don't want to be cancelled by the services.

I don't want to be cancelled by the waiters. They don't care. You can slag them off those fat pricks as long as you tip them. They don't care. We don't care. All right. Okay. Yeah, there you go.

I will tip. I'll tip waiters more now after this misunderstanding. My question. Catherine said that she likes the supernatural element. When you were working as a waitress, if you could get, be also be any supernatural, like being what would you have been at the time that would have helped your job? Not a genie. I've got dibs and stuff.

That's off. I mean, I had. Anything else? I had fake tits that helped. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Because I worked at Hooters and I think that I learned now in retrospect, now that people don't just like give me free stuff and let me in everywhere.

They're like, you want to sit down, ma'am? Like they'll give me a seat. But back then I had skin colored hair and hair colored skin. And I was like 20 years old to fake boobs. And the whole world I was like a genie would be like, you should definitely come to LA. And I was like, okay, like my life, our lives were really easy. Now we were definitely like, there were predators about for sure.

And we had it hard in some aspects, but I got paid loads of money. Everyone thought I was stupid. So if I was even the littlest bit smart, then it was like I was a genius. Right. Yes. And then sometimes I would get off with my manager. So he'd let me leave early. So I mean, I was basically like a genius.

Is that the type of genie you are? Yeah, it's going to be moving forward. I didn't know that fake boobs are supernatural, but it completely makes sense. They kind of are. They're like, they're like natural, but super. Yeah. The super version of it. Yeah.

Yeah. So I'm going to get me some of them. It's like a superpower when you're a very young woman. Yes. Yes. And a lot of them. Can I just check, James? Are you, are you going to get some fakes?

Does this answer your question? Alakazam. Check these out. What do you think of it, man? I wasn't expecting this to be that color. I need to go home early. Come here. You see?

It works. It's a lot easier than an honest day's graft. Yeah, it really, it really is. Well done, James. What was the best dish on the Hooters menu? Well, I still really love and I'm trying to be pretty vegetarian, but I love, love, love, love, love buffalo chicken. Oh, yes.

My favorite thing in life is like lightly breaded, very saucy, like Frank's red hot wing sauce, buffalo, true buffalo chicken dipped in ranch or blue cheese with carrots and celery on the side. Yes. And Hooters has good chicken. They really do. And they actually have grilled chicken, too, if you don't want to have. I had like a brief period of where I wouldn't eat the buffalo chicken,

but I'd eat little portion cups of like coleslaw and baked beans. And then, but I would treat myself. Sometimes I'd do grilled chicken and dip that in buffalo sauce. Just as good, really. Buffalo sauce. Now, I've heard this about the Hooters chicken wings, that they're supposed to be good. But I always assumed it was like when people say they only read porn for the articles.

Like, I love, I only go to Hooters for the wings. Yes. They're going there for the Hooters, right? Yeah. I mean, there's no one going in there and ordering the wings and then covering their eyes for the whole meal. Well, kids go in. Like it is a family restaurant because right by all the sports complexes.

So kids eat free on weekends. It is a family restaurant. I would go there. So now I find we don't get your boobs like out. Yeah, no, I know. But that's very much the driving sort of. No, when you look at Hooters waitresses, they kind of look like cheerleaders.

And those are all at football games and things in America. So maybe just the name is just a little bit too on the nose. Maybe the name gives it the reputation. Yeah, the name. Your whole ass is out. More than your boobs, your entire ass is out. Because you wear these like orange shorts pulled right up. And I mean, that to me.

So they should have called it buns. Yeah, yeah. Buns and then that like works on two levels. Yes. So the kids eat free at buns. It makes kind of sense. Because the kids wouldn't even be thinking about that, right? Yeah.

There's still a Hooters in the UK in Nottingham, isn't there? Yeah. Oh, isn't there? It's opposite. No, it's opposite the hotel where the Glee Club put you up when if you do a weekend there. And it's opposite. It's opposite and sometimes you're hungry.

So you... It's not a shout hungry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The chicken's really good. Yeah. Do you like the wings there? I've genuinely never been to Hooters or had the wings there. They're pretty good.

I like wings. You can have them naked and that is not breaded. And then you can have them breaded. I prefer naked. I just really do because the breading is stodgy. I like it in a buffalo piece of chicken. I like it breaded. But the wing, I like naked wings with lots of sauce, I think.

And they are great. I mean, I have nothing bad to say about Hooters. No, we're trying to get you to say bad stuff about them. No, but I think a lot of people would assume that I would denounce the patriarchial women are for decoration. I'm like, yeah, but whatever. I had a nice time there. The name.

The name is the only issue, right? We need to switch it around the buns. I like your kind of argument though. Yeah, but whatever. I had a nice time there. Yeah, but whatever. Well, people go, what about the patriarchy and stuff? But yeah, but whatever.

I had a nice time there. So you're saying that you try to eat more veggie now. I mean, I don't want any spoilers to the menu, but like, are we not going down a Hooters route with this menu? A Hoot-a-Rooter. Well, thank you, Ed. No problem. I do like chicken and fish and I like cheese.

So I would include those things, unfortunately, because you're a genie. This is a dream menu and so I just, I definitely never eat beef or pork or shellfish. Right. Why not shellfish? Because I dated someone Jewish and then out of respect, I was like, oh yeah, so I'll be kosher too then.

And then I sort of thought, oh, it is kind of gross to eat shellfish. It's kind of to me now. I mean, I don't want to ruin it for anyone. They're like bottom feeders though, aren't they? Yes. And I started thinking, meh. And then I just never ate it again.

I just stayed that way. So a lot of people would not eat meat or fish out of respect for the animal, but you don't eat shellfish out of disrespect for shellfish. Yeah. They're gross little dweebs. I hate those bastards. They're little bottom feeders going into Hooters and loving it.

It's not as though. They would love it. A bunch of prawns or what ladies? A bunch of prawns on the table. I had it. They would. They would. That is such a clientele.

If it was like a SpongeBob episode. Just crabs and like prawns. No, I mean, I'm not into it, but it's not as though before I dated him, I was like kicking back, eating lobster and stuff. I wasn't, you know, shellfish has never been a big part of my life. If you had to eat any character from SpongeBob,

who would you eat? Oh my gosh. Well, I don't even know what they all are. So there's that little anemone one, right? What's that called? I've not really seen a lot of, I know that one of them is a sponge. Sponge.

Correct. Yeah, I wouldn't eat a sponge. I could think I'd eat his home. I'd eat the pineapple. Yeah. Oh yeah, clever. Oh yeah, there you go. That's good.

You see the pineapple and then, but then SpongeBob's homeless. Oh well. You know what? That pineapple was going to decompose in the sea. At some stage, do you know what I mean? Probably yeah, unrealistic homes. Yeah.

You? Uh, I've never eaten a starfish before. Are they edible? Spiky, I think. I don't know. Yeah, I don't feel like they're edible. Squidward? I like squid.

Squid's nice. So I'll probably eat Squidward. And he's quite grumpy and stuff, so like wouldn't feel bad about it. As I feel bad about making SpongeBob homeless, he's very chipper. Sorry. But like Squidward, I'll be like,

yeah, he shouldn't have been so mean to everyone. He's so grumpy, you know? Fair. You think that's it? Is it if the animals grumpy are allowed to eat it? Yeah, if you do. You'd eat eel. Well, he's not grumpy as he's depressed.

People eat donkey. Do they? I don't know. Oh, they probably do. Feel that, yeah. And eel, I've seen people eat eel. Oh, eel. Sorry, I thought you were saying eel again.

From Winnie the Pooh? Yes. So, I said eel. I said eel, you said eel, but then you told us you've seen people eat eel, and we were talking about eel, and we're like, you've seen people eat eel? That's what happened in our heads there,

with that you have seen people eat the Winnie the Pooh character eel. This way people with accents shouldn't mix. It's too dangerous. Yeah, no, that could have been a huge misunderstanding. That could have led to some awful situations. I've never really understood exactly what the kosher diet was, but now I can think of it as don't eat any animals that might visit Hooters.

Yes, that's exactly what it is. That's the perfect way to imagine it. And they have another good one. So, in the Torah, it says, don't boil a calf in its mother's milk, which I take to be a euphemism for like, don't take the piss. You know, like, don't boil a calf in its mother's milk.

Like, don't use that much of an asshole. But that is why they don't put meat and cheese together. They wouldn't have a cheeseburger. Wow. Yeah, they don't mix dairy and meat, and I love that. It's a bit of a psychopath to boil a calf in its mother's milk. A cheeseburger's like a Nazi scientist move. Like, it's awful, right?

No, I think about it. Yeah, I haven't really thought about that before. So rude. There's a Japanese dish where you have like, chicken and egg in the same bowl, and it's called mother and child. And you love Japan, don't you? I love Japan.

I think if you're going to do it, you might as well lead into it, right? Oh, God. Mother and child at the side of best friends. So, we always start with still sparkling water, Catherine, as in any of us at the restaurant. Do you have a preference? I love still water.

Love it. Well, I don't think we've had anyone that enthusiastic about it. I love before for the water course. Love. Yeah. Why do you, why do you speak to me like that? I just like you love it. Why do you love it?

I just think water is the most delicious thing. Oh, it just makes you so happy and so well. Water makes everyone alive and well. Yeah. I really like the taste of it, and I associate it with it like being fresh and clean. And then sparkling water, I don't like it. I don't, I think, who do you think you are?

Someone's having sparkling water. I'm like, all right. And you go certain places like Germany, and water is sparkling water. So, if you order water there, they do not bring you still water. What? A bunch of my friends married ice hockey players and moved to either like Finland or Germany,

or Norway or whatever. I love the throwaway details in Catherine's stories. Most of my friends married ice hockey players, but yeah. Well, because I'm from Canada. That's a Canadian story as old as time. Yeah, it is. Apology, yeah. It really is.

And if they aren't drafted by the NHL, then they go and they play like league hockey professionally in Europe, whatever. And I would go visit them, and you cannot get still water there. I swear. You just can't get it. No, it's just sparkling.

And I don't know what happened in there. Do they have to play, when they move to the country, should they have to play ice hockey on frozen sparkling water? Oh, yeah. Yes. Fizzy ice. Yeah. Old fizzy ice,

or getting all bubbly over their skates? Yeah, and it makes me upset, and I don't like it. Oh, absolutely. I mean, that seems like a very odd move to be like, OK, we're going to make the default water, the one that's a bit more of an acquired taste, really. The default one. A bit more going on there.

It's a bit busier. If you give it to a kid, they say it's spicy. Like, carbonated anything. If you give it to a kid, they go, ugh, spicy. Like, they don't like it. They think it's spicy. Yeah, it's too much for a soft mouth, right? It's just like, yeah, abrasive.

Oh, the other day I played football for the first time in months, and at halftime, I had some water, and exclaimed to my fellow teammates that it was an elixir, and how lovely it was. And have you been invited back to play football again? Yeah, I mean, I've seen that never playing again, right?

Is this comedians football? Yeah, a bunch of comics, yeah. I sent my husband to that, and he used to play American football, and he has one torn ACL that has been operated on dozens of times, and like, whatever, that knee is over. And on his first day of comedians football,

he tore the other ACL. I know. Oh, man. So now he's useless to me. So that's what happens if you play and you're not a comedian. Yeah. The comedy gods strike you down. Well, I think he was going balls to the walls.

He was really trying to do it. He got like three goals before he did it, and he was really enjoying it, and he never does anything just a bit. Yes. He was like playing as hard as he could, and then over. What was the mood like when he got home, was he? Genuinely sad.

Like, I thought he was going to cry. Oh, no. Pop it out of your breath! Pop it out of your breath, Taffin! Pop it out. That was a big swing from James, because you're about to take a sip out of a can. I know, but I'm ready for anything else.

Very badly. I only realized it at the last minute. I was like, uh-oh. I'm about to get vanilla coke all over me. Listen, I'm cool as a cucumber. Yeah, you are. I was pretty sure that you wouldn't react. Yeah.

Whether you knew that I was going to shout it or not, I was like. No, I'm good. I can't get Taffin. My takeaway from diet vanilla coke is I don't like it. You're not enjoying it. You said it was quite nice at the start. I once said, but then I... That is what it's like.

I felt a bit sick, and I thought I'm going to have some diet coke, but I didn't really realize it was vanilla. And then I thought, oh, well, it's vanilla, but that might be nice. No. I don't mind it, but I think a whole can is too much. Yes. I think you just need a little taste. Okay, I don't know how recently you've been to America.

Every fast food place has this big machine where you pour your own fizzy drink or water or iced tea or whatever, and it's a touch screen. And let's say, first it just has, let's say it has like all the Pepsi and Coke products and Sprite and 7UP and whatever. You click touch one on the touch screen, and then all these flavors come up. It will genuinely say, do you want strawberry Coke, cherry Coke, lime Coke, lemon Coke, orange Coke, chocolate Coke, vanilla Coke, like all these weird, and this, it's just like a rabbit hole of flavors.

A umphalumpas working at this place? They could. They're in the machine. I mean, it's a, it's an absolute wonderland. Oh, it sounds so good. I've been thinking a lot about Willy Wonka lately. Why? My girlfriend texted me this week saying,

His girlfriend runs a chocolate factory. Yes, saying, I'm stuck in the chocolate factory. Can you come and get me out, please? No, she said, I reckon any food, no matter how much you like it, if you imagine a massive version of it, it's disgusting. That's what she texted me. Weird. And I was like, I don't want you to talk about it.

She was like, well, imagine the lasagna. I mean, quick pause to say you're absolutely made for each other. Yeah, sure. Exactly what you'd text someone else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But when you're on the receive end of it, it's not as fun, is it? All right, what are you talking about? And I was like, what do you mean?

She was saying like, you know, you imagine a normal portion of the lasagna and now imagine a football pitch of lasagna, it's disgusting. I was like, yeah, that's why they don't serve it like that. But anyway, that was the conversation we had. And I said, what about the chocolate river in Willy Wonka, though? She was like, okay, maybe that's the exception, because that does look pretty delicious. Was this a row?

No, I know. Yes, that's the way I argue. Just about food. And then eventually we resolved it by Willy Wonka chat. I don't agree with the premise. I think football pitch lasagna sounds great. Can you imagine like the whole stadium all digging in? Everyone eating the lasagna?

I used to love reading the Guinness Book of Records and I'd flip straight to the food bit and look for the pictures of like the world's longest sandwich and stuff. Oh, isn't it funny? I was such a fat boy. He'd rush to it. But isn't it great before we had devices and things that your parents would get you the Guinness Book of World Records for Christmas

and you'd like gather around. I would do that with my sisters too and read it and you didn't read it all in one go. You'd be like, what are the longest fingernails today? Oh, longest fingernails. I loved that. Always longest fingernails. There was always a big picture for the guy with the long fingernails.

Disgusted. Proper, the longest fingernails one. That's why everyone knows about it because it's absolutely gross and you'd look at that picture and be like, how is that person even living a life? Well, they're not. They're basically working on the fingernails all day, aren't they? They're sitting there growing their fingernails.

It was like horrible, like all curled over, but like going on forever. Like you couldn't get, you could do anything with that hand. And what a prick. It's basically an advertisement for like, I don't even dress myself. I have servants basically, like you can't do anything. I'm with your girlfriend, James. I think she's absolutely right. And it's sort of the same logic as hair on your head is really beautiful,

but as soon as you cut it off and it's hair on the floor or hair found anywhere, it's sickening. Sure. Yeah, that's true. You know, that's to do with the uncanny though, isn't it? That's a Freudian thing that it represents decay and death. Really? Yeah, that hair disembodied and same with teeth and anything like that. It represents decay.

So it's that it digs into a part of your brain that you don't explore a lot. Oh, no, I like teeth. I have loads of teeth that I've saved. Okay, there's some exceptions. What? Save loads of teeth? Yep. So I had three wisdom teeth out last year

because they just for some reason started going crazy and growing like sideways. And I kept all those because they're so cool looking. And any teeth my daughter has lost have kept. So I have all of our teeth in a box and her teeth are cute. They're like these little white baby teeth that she lost. I have bits of her hair. That doesn't disgust me either. I don't know.

But other people's, I don't think teeth would ever disgust me. If I found a tooth, I would keep it. You'd always keep a tooth if you found it, no matter who it was. Sure. Just keep the tooth. Yeah, make a necklace. But you're disgusted by prawns. Yeah.

You said poppadooms earlier and we've just talked about teeth for a long time. Sorry. So I love poppadooms. Love them. Love popchips, the snack that's sort of a cross between crisp and a rice cake. Met the man who started popchips in a swimming pool at the Four Seasons. What a celeb story. Yeah.

What a line to drop when you're in the swimming pool. You know, I started popchips. Really? But he's telling the truth because of the Four Seasons. And then there's a celebrity that owns it too. Is it Ashton Kutcher and this guy? Really? I own popchips?

Yeah. Or Justin Timberlake maybe. It is a celebrity. Yeah, who said this? Benito, can you? Yeah, thank you. Popchips have sponsored us before, haven't they? Popchips sponsored us.

Really? Yeah. And we got two massive boxes of popchips each delivered to our home. And the last, I mean, that was like a year ago. Yeah. And the last of which, the last bag has only just left my cupboard this week. Well, I love, I love like anything rice-based, but I hate bread. I have very controversial opinions about bread.

Both of it. Yeah, let's hear these. Well, I've never eaten bread in my life. What? Yeah. James? James? Yes?

You're going to want to be in this conversation. Sorry, I'm eating the Wikipedia for popchips. I've never eaten bread in my life. What? I hate bread. I think it looks sick. And I don't eat it. And I don't eat pizza.

And I don't eat anything like bread family. I don't eat donuts. If I deem something to be bread family, it makes me feel sick in my throat to look at it. Why? Well, what makes you feel sick about it? I don't know. I think it looks like if someone was washing up with a sponge,

and then they took a bite out of it, I feel like bread isn't food. And that's consistent with your opinion on who you'd eat from SpongeBob SquarePants. Yeah, exactly. So you wouldn't eat SpongeBob. He's just a big lump of bread. He's a big lump of bread. I just don't like bread.

And I think it's because there is celiac, genuine celiac in my family. I know some people are like, they don't eat gluten because they don't want to, but my family will actually like shit themselves in public if they eat it. Yeah. And I don't have celiac. But because when I grew up, my littlest sister had very severe celiac

and it was undiagnosed, so she got really skinny and it was a problem when she was a baby. She waited 11 months, what she weighed at four months. Celiac can be serious. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, we didn't have any bread or anything in the house, so I just didn't really know what it was. And then I'd see it at other people's houses

and be like, what's that? And I just never had it. What's that? Yeah, I'd be like, why are they eating that? This is bread. But we didn't even back then. Oh, that weird girl can't come over again. She pointed at the bread and said, what's that?

But back then we didn't even have gluten-free bread in a small town like you just didn't. And then I always felt it looked like, if someone's eating a sandwich, I feel like it looks like the sandwich has packaging and people are eating the packaging as well. Like the bread to me is packaging. And I hate that it is at restaurants.

It's ubiquitous. That's the other thing that bothers me about bread. Everywhere you go, you say, is there food? And they go, yeah. No, there's bread. There's croissants and paing chocola, all these things I won't eat. There's no food.

There's just bread. So pastry is also involved. It extends the croissants. Yeah, I've never had that. I hate the look of it, the smell of it. If I walk by a Subway restaurant, I have to run. Like, I think it's so gross. Yeah, and they sublose.

Yeah. And they even say that you shouldn't give it to ducks. They try to, there are all these campaigns saying you have to feed ducks seeds because the bread is exploding, all these ducks. Puffs up in their tummy. Yeah, yeah, it's not good for the ducks. And don't get me wrong, I'm not a healthy person.

Like, I eat loads of cheese and I'll drink loads of wine and like, I've really gained a lot of weight this year, just from like, just having wine every day. Very cool. Yeah, I'm not healthy, but I hate bread. I can't imagine, I can't imagine that. I can't imagine not liking the smell of a freshly baked croissant. Yeah, people who actually are encouraged to bake bread

and make their house smell like freshly baked bread in order to sell their house. But now you know, if you're trying to sell your house to Catherine Ryan, if you do that, she's not even coming through the front door. Yeah, that's it. You just love to sell. Yeah, there's something about it.

Can you go to France, ever? I've been to France. It stinks of bread the whole place. Yeah, I think the cheese kind of overpowers the bread the pieces I went. And I was outside a lot when I was there. I was walking around. So do you like a really stinky cheese?

No. I like, um... Oh, that's fair enough, that's consistent. I'll eat gluten though, like I'll eat cake and sometimes I like biscuits. Why haven't you put cake? Cake should be in the bread family. Yeah.

I assume cake was bread family. Whoa, we're finding holes here. No, do you know what? Kids like sugar though. I think wherever I went that I saw cake, I was like, yeah, I'll have that. And it was good. But like bread and, um, you know, what other things?

Like, uh... Panna Chocolat's made the list of things you don't like in the bread family. Trust me. Are you eating cakes willy-nilly? Well, let's find out what the ingredients are because there's something, I'll tell you this. Something about donuts, panna chocolat, croissants,

pastries, pie, all that, that has something that cake hasn't got. There's something in it that's gross and it might be yeast or something. Yeast, yeah. Yeah, maybe yeast. But is yeast in... But yeast might...

Panna chocolat and stuff? It must be like... Just a lot of butter, isn't it, really? Yeah, butter and pastry. Yeah. Croissant common ingredients. Butter, egg, sugar, milk, flour, bakers, yeast.

Ah, see, it's a yeast thing. Uh-oh. Everyone here is walking around eating thrush, not me. That's what it is. Reminds you of thrush. And let me tell you who's never in her life had thrush, me. Yeah? Never once.

I don't even understand what it's like. I've seen the adverts, I'm not interested. Like, we've learned it a lot about you. Never had bread, never had thrush. Coincidence, I think not. Doesn't sound like a coincidence. Now that we've drilled down into all the... You don't like about things,

that actually cake makes the list because it doesn't have yeast in it. It's basically yeast that you don't like. Okay. So if there's a yeast-free bread, I'll have a go. Are you only choosing poppadoms because you hate bread so much? Yes.

So you don't really have much to say about poppadoms. There's not really much that you love about them. You just hate bread so much. Is that the choice? The poppadoms by default of one. I like any vessel that will give me a condiment. So poppadom fits in that category. I realized I don't even really like nachos,

but I really love salsa and jalapenos and cheese and guacamole. And I don't even like chips if there's no vinegar and salt about or even hot sauce I'd take on a chip. I really love condiments. So like a poppadom, I'd probably put like Philadelphia garlic

and herb cream cheese on that. Be real controversial. Yeah, that is controversial. But I'm happy with that. Make sure we include that detail. Yeah, that'd be good. You like Philadelphia cream cheese with garlic and herb. Love it.

On the poppadoms. And like borsa, you know that cheese? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a great cheese. That is a good cheese, actually. I mind, see, I'm comfortable talking about cheese at this course in the menu. If you've got cheese loaded up later down the line

in this menu, i.e. dessert, and don't let me know now, don't hint or anything, but I will flip out. But I'm happy to have a normal cheese chat with you now. He does flip out. He does flip out. No, I'm with you on your cheese board thing. Don't worry.

Thank you very much. Or if I could not have poppadoms and I could just be like in America and have a thin, thin white corn chip and salsa. Okay. Yeah, we can do that. Like pico de gallo, I'd have that. Absolutely.

Yeah, we can do that totally. Yeah. Completely do that. I like it when people sub in similar things. Oh, really? Okay. Yeah, there'll be some people online getting upset about it, but you know.

The corn chips here need a lot of work. Go on. Go on. So they're either bread. So they will sometimes take a tortilla and use like a pizza cutter to cut it into four and deep fry that tortilla. That is wheat.

Like that is not when I'm like, that's the most disappointing when you order nachos from somewhere. A lot, okay. No. And they use a flour tortilla. Yeah, I hate that and they deep fry it. No.

And then the corn chips that you get are like thick and yellow and small in America. And there are not many things that I like about America, but they're respect for Tex-Mex. I love. So it would be like a big, white, thin, crispy corn chip and it's just like not too salty, not too thick. So you're not getting like, you know,

stodged down by these chips. And then you can put so much salsa on them and they don't break. I mean, they might break, but if you're careful, if you got a technique. You want to load them up. Yeah. You almost want something that's barely there.

Yeah. Just so you can load with corn. Like you want a ghost chip really, don't you? I want a spoon. Yeah, you want a spoon that you can just snap off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think of you guys all the time and listen, I think this is a good time to bring out one of my two gifts

that I brought. Oh. While we're discussing tortillas and poppies and corn chips and all that, I brought you something that I found in this country that is my favorite crisp from Canada. Oh. And it's a bit controversial.

I found a Pringles version of my favorite crisp. It's Dill Pickle. Oh, yeah. Like gherkin and it's going to be so good. Oh, that is amazing. So I was early because I was coming from something else. So I walked around until I found these. So please try one and tell me if you like it.

I love the packaging. It's a little pot of Dill Pickle. Is that a Pringle sticking in it? And a Pringle is wearing a scuba mask. Yeah. It's about to jump in. It's called Screaming Dill Pickle. And there's no G on the Screaming.

Screaming Dill Pickle. It's so good. Extraordinary Flavor without a U in it. They're so dilly. And I will say the Lay's version, which is our walkers, is even better. Whoa. But that's what I could get.

Yeah, you're screaming. You're screaming Dill. This is just tasting exactly what it says like it's going to taste like. Yeah. I'm not used to that in life. No. That's great.

That's great. Thank you, Catherine. Thanks, Benito. I'm a real crisp man. That's an extra. I love them. Yeah. They're great, right?

Absolutely love them. They're kind of salt and vinegar, but like with Dill and a tang. Oh, with an added tang. And sometimes this country, you'll get me because you'll be like, oh, Dill, but it isn't. It isn't Dill Pickle. Yeah.

I feel like I'm in a jelly. When I go home to Canada, I eat so many of these that I burn all the taste buds off my tongue and I just have a real smooth tongue. Like a. Like a Dill Pickle. Like the roof of my mouth and my tongue are twins. Amazing.

That leads us into your starter, I think. So if I'm out, oh my gosh, so many starters that I love and I don't, I'm at, you know, the point in my life where I don't care what people think. So I never feel pressure from other people at the table to be like, oh, are you having a starter? Are you having a means? Sometimes I'll just order like four starters

and I'll just have those instead of a main or I'll share with people if I can't decide. But starters are my favorite. I love starters more than mains. Yes. Okay. That's a big start. I love starters.

Absolutely. Starters are delicious. Um, I love a French onion soup. If there's a soup, I'm always hoping, please say it's a French onion soup. And if they do, even though this is a big swerve, there's bread in French onion soup. Yeah.

There's something about it being like wet and almost disappearing. I will have a few little corners of that wet bread. Because it's been soaked. I don't know. I don't understand it. It's more adding texture to the soup than it is a piece of bread.

But it confirms I'm definitely not allergic to bread. Yeah. Anyway, love a French onion soup. I love like, you know, broth and cheese and onion. I love any soup. I arrived here today eating a soup. You did. I really love any sort of like raw fish starter,

like a tuna tataki. I won't, I don't think I'll have a salad for a starter. If I do really like salads, but I like big American salads that are mains, American salads that have like egg and buffalo chicken and cheese and things in them. Yeah. Yeah.

I have like another meal in them. Yeah. Like salads that are bad for you. Yeah. When, when you order a salad in American, you're like, I'll be healthy. I'll have a salad for lunch. And then it comes and you're like,

this is way worse than having a burger. Yeah. Because they just pack it. I had like a, I can't remember the name of the salad, but it was like the lettuce, it was like a bed of lettuce, just iceberg lettuce. And then on a huge plate, and then just stripes of all the different ingredients.

So just egg, bacon, blue cheese. You had a cob salad. So yeah, I had a cob salad. Exactly. That's what you had. And it was delicious. Until you just roll all that stuff up into it, like a big, big, like lettuce taco.

I think the idea was that you, you maybe mix it all up, but I was, yeah, quite sort of ordered about the whole thing and just ate it stripe by stripe. So you love starters, as do I. And it's my favorite course, I always think, I always think this like the mini, like mini main course. That's what I say.

That's what I feel about a restaurant. People know me for that catchphrase. Personally, that's how I feel about it. Old captain's sweet tooth over there. We don't know what we're talking about. Um, but so if you want to narrow it down to your dream start, this is quite hard for you because you'd normally have a load of different ones.

Yeah. Well, I think it would be like tuna tartare. Yeah. Probably. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's nice. It's small.

It's like really, really delicious always. I've never had one that I didn't like. And when they like chop it up really fine. And then presentation is everything with that. When they put it in the little mold so that it comes out just in a little cylinder, like a hockey puck. It's very satisfying.

Yeah, it does feel good. Although it does also remind me of, you know, like in, um, in old films or cartoons, going cartoons when they're like, you know, feeding a cat or a dog and they tend to turn upside down in a conflict. Oh, James, now I can have it. Wait.

Like all jelly drunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to change it anyway. Let me tell you why. Because now I get to incorporate potato. So I love when they have little potato latkes and then a little smoked salmon on top with a little bit of cream and dill.

Yeah. And they'll do like a little starter of four of those. Smoked salmon, potato latke and cream. Yeah, that does sound very nice. Is there a place you've had the best one of them? Yes, they make that at the Four Seasons in Toronto, but I'm not sure if they make it at the Four Seasons. I really like the Four Seasons and I'll tell you why.

Because some hotels really hate kids. I've met your daughter and she's more grown up than any of us sat around this table. Oh my gosh, you should see her now. You haven't even seen her in years. Yeah, yeah. The memory I'm mainly thinking of is like in Melbourne. So this is probably four or five years ago

when you had like an Easter party in your hotel room and we all went and you had ordered champagne but it hadn't arrived yet. So Violet was like, I'll deal with this. And went over and I can't remember how old she would have been at that time, but she rang them up and just hearing her side of the conversation was amazing.

She was like, hello. Yes, we've ordered some champagne and it's not arrived. Okay, it's just that we're having a party. And it was such a great... It's just that we're having a party. Okay, well, yes, do that please. Thank you. And just being allowed to do that.

She loves like phone calls and admin. Oh, she nailed it. So you should see her now. Like, yeah, that was a long time when she would have been five. Yeah. Yeah, five or six. I was there watching it as a supposed adult man thinking if I was doing this phone call,

I'd be like, I'm so sorry. I know you've probably got it on the way or something. I'm just wondering where the champagne is. Oh, we don't deserve it. I'm sorry. We don't deserve it. Violet's so funny. She, we were doing like a guess the word.

What's that called? What do you call it? Articulate. Articulate. Articulate, yes. Is that it? And she calls, it was the stupidest thing. I might be the only one who thinks that's funny,

but I thought it was so on the nose, like such a weird thing. She goes, miss, it literally stinks in here. What? And she goes, yeah, mommy, come on. Miss, it literally stinks in here. And I was like, I don't know what that is. And she was like, it's chav, mom.

Oh my God. What the fuck? I was like, number one, I don't think we say chav anymore. And number two, miss, it literally stinks in here. How is she connected to those? Because she's like, because mom, like you have a road man. And like men can be road man, but like girls, she's like learning about teenagers.

And she's like, but girls can be chavs and what they say at school is. Miss, it literally stinks in here. Miss, it literally stinks in here. Is that a fit? I don't know. Is that a catchphrase? Is miss, it literally stinks in here?

Miss, it literally stinks in here. That was her impression. And I like, I think kids are saying chav again. I think it's back. We started saying it again. I don't know. Listen, I'm just saying. What was it?

Was it, I mean, this wasn't, you weren't playing the official board game articulate. And that was on the card. No, that wouldn't have been on the card. No, we pick our own words. You pick your own words. We're playing actress. It's a massive reflection on Violet, this whole thing.

She picked that word and that was a weird impression she did. And I was like, can girls be roadmen? And she was like, oh no, mom. A roadman. Well, it started actually, this whole chat. We were watching 24 hours in police custody, which is, which I truly recommend two episodes of it. Oh, it's great.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she, as the first scene, she was like, what was that they found in the woods? A Puma hoodie, road man. And I was like, what? And she was like, he's a drug dealer, road man. That's why he died. Three minutes into the show and I was like,

what are you talking about? And she just teaches me about. Was she right? She was. You know, not that a road man deserves violence or anything, but he was a road man, yes. I don't really understand what road man is. The drug dealer.

I think so, yeah. Well, they want to change that name. It sounds too much like somebody had worked on a road. Yeah. They should change to the drugs man. Yeah, just laying down some time. Well, they want to make it a little mysterious for people like us who go, what do you mean you're hanging out

with a road man? But my point is, the four seasons, welcome Violet with open arms. They're so nice to kids. If you are someone in a family and you want to travel four seasons a bit expensive compared to some of the others, but it is worth it and you know you'll be safe and you know every single time,

they're just going to go out of their way to be nice to your kids. And you get a good food there and you meet the guy who invented pop chips. If the guy who invented pop chips goes there, you know it's good. Do you know who I've met there? J.Lo, Tina Fey, Mel Gibson, the guy.

And yet you led with the guy who invented pop chips. Yeah, I've also met Hollywood A-list celebrities. Rosie O'Donnell. I've meeting every one of the four seasons. The four seasons is the place to be. Shaquille O'Neal. Wow. Right.

They do a brunch. Now I kind of understand why the pop chips guy is going around listening to credentials in the pool. Because you must feel very inferior with all these celebs walking around and he's like, I invented pop chips. Well, that's how we got all those celebrity backers by going to the four seasons.

This is it. Yeah. The next time you guys are in LA, on a Sunday, this is very, very podcast related, on a Sunday at the Dahini Four Seasons in LA. Probably at the other one as well. They do this Sunday brunch that is off the wall. And it's a buffet, but it's not like a tacky buffet.

They have everything in the world. And it's so amazing. My mouth tastes so much like Screamin' Dill Pickle. And I'm not complaining about it. Your main course. So the food that I love best. I really like Eastern food a lot. Like I really, really love ramen.

And I like a stir fry. Eastern. What do you think I said? Eastern. I thought you were talking about chocolate. Eastern food. I was like, yeah, I love Eastern food. Here we are again.

This is Eel and Eor. All over again. That is a difficult sentence to say. Eel and Eor all over again. I will enunciate for your podcast. I really love like a Thai green curry with chicken, unfortunately, because I'm still eating chicken. You've always choose Thai green curry over Thai red curry?

Yes. Interesting. I think I'm now coming around to green curry. That's so nice. Yeah. I think I was always a red curry guy because just that masculinity of going for the red because it looks like the spiciest. That was why.

I think so. Probably. Big man. Well, no, because I love green curry. But spicy things are green. Like you can have green chilies and jalapenos. I was an idiot. Sorry, Ed.

Yeah. I love green curry. So that's not necessarily your choice, though, is it? Because you're just saying you like that sort of thing. Ramen as well, you mentioned. I really love ramen. I really like soups and I really like noodles. I'll tell you what my dream meal is and I'll never have it again.

So I'm going to put this on is what I don't even know what it's called. So when I went to university in Toronto, believe it or not, slightly educated, there was a family restaurant called Salad King and they were a Thai restaurant right behind my school. And they made this noodle dish. It was a bit like pad thai, but the noodles they were using were those thin, thin glass vermicelli noodles. But something about it was so good.

It was really spicy and it wasn't too saucy and it wasn't heavy like a pad thai can be sometimes. And I don't even know what it was called, but it was the thing. There was just enough sauce and that was back when I was poor. So I would eat kind of half of it with my girlfriends. Do you remember, was there ever a time in your life or do you still do this now where you take box food up home and take it and have it for lunch the next day? I don't have that discipline now. I just don't.

I'll just eat everything right away. Yeah, I'll just eat everything straight away. Or I'll be like, I'll take it, but I would eat a quarter or half of this delicious Thai noodle dish. And it had like chilies and like shaved carrots and lemongrass and ginger and like soy. It was just so good. Kind of a peanut sauce and it was genuinely the best thing. And maybe because I was so hungry all the time back then, it made it even better. Does sound good.

But I just like carried my fake tits down there and I would get that. How you carried them separately? Oh yeah, in a handbag. I didn't need them until I got to work. I'm looking at the salad king menu. No, are they still a restaurant? Still a restaurant. Turn that around, Bonito, please.

Still a restaurant. Siam noodles. You think you need bellies? The Siam noodles sounds like it could be that. Rice noodles, carrot, green onion, bean sprout, and egg in a sauce made from peanuts and coconut milk. That sounds about right. Yeah, I think that's it. Let me walk over there for one second.

It's a veggie, one a chicken, one in a shrimp one. Ah, by Ryerson University. This is it. I think it was Bangkok stir-fried. That is what's ringing a bell with me. Bangkok stir-fried. Broccoli. Plus, I was so like, you know, like white from a small town when I first moved to Toronto.

So Siam noodles, I might have been like, what? But Bangkok stir-fried again. I think I went by and it seemed close or something like a years ago. And then I assumed it was out of my life. Oh, it makes me so mad that I could have had it. Okay, well, that is genuinely my dream thing. Yeah. I'm going to go and I'm going to confirm and I will get back to the podcast and let you know which one it was.

I would put money on it being Bangkok stir-fried. So bean vermicelli is also known as cellophane noodles or bean threads or bean thread noodles. Threads, threads, yes. Or a type of transparent noodle made from starch. Sounds like it. And you know what? This is why I would have loved it because... Is it those like crazy see-through ones?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the one. It was the Bangkok stir-fried. And that's the furthest thing from bread you can get in your life is a see-through bean noodle. This feels like, I feel like we're kind of like on some sort of like daytime TV show like Oprah or something.

And we just bought out a long lost friend that you haven't seen in ages. It was so good. You're getting quite emotional up here. Do you know what's going to disappoint me though? Is if because I'm not as hungry anymore as I always used to be, then I'll be like, oh, this is shit. Yeah, you're going back and on. What was I thinking?

Yeah. We come to your side dish now. What? Okay. It's quite exciting. And you know, I mean, you've just been reunited with an old friend. Yeah. Well, keeping it old, my side dish would be poutine, which is controversial,

but it's so delicious. And I just ate so much of it at Christmas because every time I go to Canada, I get chips and cheese and gravy, but it's a specific cheese that it's like cheese curds, which is a little bit kind of like a cross between mozzarella and halloumi. It's difficult to explain for British people who haven't had it, but it is not the same as Northern chips and cheese and gravy. It's not. Yes.

And then I pour vinegar on it, like white vinegar. Oh, yeah? Is that common practice? Do other people do that? I think they do. Not everyone, but we have like the best poutine, I would say, is from Smokes poutineerie in Canada, and I wish so much. But you know what?

When I first moved here, I wished for Taco Bell, so I think if I wish hard enough for Smokes poutine, it will come. And poutine hasn't like, I feel like poutine is on the way to being like a trend here at some point. It's not had its moment yet, but I think it's surely everything gets a moment. Should I open like a poutine thing? I think you just go ahead of the game and do it. People would go if it was your one as well.

Yeah. Would they? Am I allowed? Yeah, call it buns. And I can make Bobby run it buns, and I'll make him get his ass out as well. Yeah, Bobby with his ass out. Have you seen it in my husband's?

With his ass out and his knees all strapped up. Hopefully they're out. Hopefully he'll try his a poutine. That's a great idea. Well, poutine is so good, and at Smokes, you can choose from this crazy board. You can put anything you want on it. Like people put like Montreal smoked meat and mustard on poutine.

Some people put chicken on poutine, jalapenos, people put bacon on it. People do like all these crazy ingredients. I keep it very classic. And now you can do it vegan. Like you can have veggie gravy, which I always have, but I still have real cheese where you can have vegan cheese. Yeah.

Oh my gosh, this is what I'm doing. I came here to catch up with you guys because I missed the hang. But now I have a business idea. In America, I go with poutine with brisket on it. Yeah. That's been really good. We had that when we went to New York.

It did. The first thing we ate stopped at this place. I had this, well, but it was weird because the chips, they weren't like chips. They were like roast potatoes. Yeah, they were. That's what I thought. Let me say this.

I hate nothing more than when someone tries to get fancy with poutine and they go and change it. And I hate to say this about the four seasons, but they're like a bit posh. So they have this, they call it poutine on the menu, which they should be completely arrested for because they're like, oh, it's like a duck confit. And I'm like, what?

Can I have poutine without duck on it? And they're like, no, no, no. It's not poutine like you would normally know. It's like these skinny like frites. And then we put like this duck confit, just a duck that's like marinated in juice for a while. And they put that on and then they shave some weird cheese. And I was like, well, then Marcel, that isn't poutine, is it?

Like I hate that. Your drink now. Now, we've already spoken about it. It's weird because like you said, you're the only person who said that like water is your favorite drink. You said that at the start of the episode. So it's going to be interesting to know what you're. We've all also spoken about wine.

So you don't like that bit of the coke? No, I don't. Water is my favorite drink, but like took reference. One of your jokes, James, is like tipsy is my favorite state. Great routine, classic routine. Yeah. So I like water to drink, but I really like being a bit fucked up. So sometimes it's difficult when you're eating as well though.

It's like, don't even bother drinking. It doesn't work. Well, you just have to drink loads. I can't do that. Like what I would do is order like a real, it depends on the day, but I would right now I'm on to like nice cold chardonnay, like a nice glass of like too big glass of white wine. And I would smash that like before the starter came.

And it would be lunchtime. I love drinking in the day. And I love, I think that's why I like white wine because it's like a respectable middle class mom's day drink. Yeah. Yeah. If you're like, I'll have a yoghurt bomb, please. And it's the lunch special.

They're like, what? But I also like gin and tonic. It's kind of like vodka sodas. And I really love, if it was evening, let's say then I would have like a Don Julio white tequila lime and soda. Oh, lovely. That's really nice. I don't like yellow tequila, but I like white.

Right. Sounds like I quite like one of those now. Quite like her tequila lime and soda. And you can have a little chili in it as well. That's really nice. Like get a green chili and a green lime. Oh, I love this. Is there a certain place that you've had this?

Or do you make them yourself at home? Oh, I make them at home. I have like a whole drinks fridge and it is popping, but you can get it anywhere. Like, hold on, you got a drinks fridge? Talk about the drinks fridge, please. Yeah, I want to, my mind's been open to, my fridge is like normal size.

Yeah. I've seen a lot of people with some pretty impressive fridges recently. Hmm, my fridge. I have. I've seen like people doing like tours of their houses and showing like their fridge and stuff. There was a cart there, one of the Kardashians did it recently.

Oh, yeah. Did like a walkthrough of like, was it Kim Kardashian did a thing where she showed her fridge and it was just full of drinks and everyone was like, oh, she didn't eat food. Well, she's shown that she just has drinks. And then she's like, oh no, that's not my food fridge. And then she's got just got like a walk-in wardrobe sized fridge. Yeah.

Proper like, she works in a restaurant. That's my dream. Yeah. It's exactly like a restaurant walk-in fridge. It's a really healthy fridge. You're a big admirer of the Kardashians. I mean, I admire anyone that everybody else hates. Yeah.

And then I just think they're not hurting anyone really. Nobody really needs to be a billionaire, fine. They're a bit vacuous, fine. But I like to relax and when I watch the Kardashians, I see big delicious salads, nice green teas and juices. I see tasteful interiors. I always am kind of fascinated by how their makeup is going to be and how their hair is going to be and what they're going to be wearing.

And they're always doing things that look like beautiful. And there's some like, I don't know, aesthetic satisfaction out of that. The same way, I don't know, people probably get satisfaction on watching a sport. Yeah. I don't tell people, oh, what's it matter? It's only a game. It's like, no, you like watching football and screaming.

And they tell you, so do that. And then I really like seeing how Courtney has like done her wallpaper. I like it. Kardashians are great. So I don't have a fridge like that. That's my dream, like to have a huge fridge. Yeah. Although I used to work in kitchens and the walking fridge would never be very pleasant.

No. Because they'd lock you in it and stuff. We would lock each other in the fridge in the freezer. Yeah. Well, you really, your dream is that you get someone in the walking freezer and then you lock that because you can't open that from the inside. Oh, God. And then they'd be like, oh, God, please.

And that was a lot of fun. But no, the fridge was just smelly. Miss, it literally smells in here or whatever. Literally stinks in here. Yeah. That's what I'd say when I was in the walking. But you've got a drinks fridge and you've got a food fridge. You've got separate fridges.

See, that's good. That's, I like that. It just feels very adult to be like, hello, welcome to my home. Let's go over to the drinks fridge and like, what would you like? Oh, there's no wine left again. Whoops. Are we going with the tequila, lime and soda with a bit of chili? Yeah, that's the most.

Sounds delicious. Interesting. Refreshing, light, and it gets you fucked up. Is that like a cocktail name for it? Or is it just tequila, lime and soda? I think it's tequila, lime and soda. Well, you can name it here officially and people will listen to you as well. Because we've just had word that Greg Davis, who's a previous episode,

in his local curry house, he complained on the podcast that they'd taken lime pickle off the normal condiments at the beginning. And you have to ask for it. And he texted me the other day to say he went in there and they've heard the podcast and they've now put lime pickle back on the menu and they call it Greg's Pickle. Oh. It says Greg's Pickle on the menu. That's for sure.

So if you want to name that cocktail now. Some menus may take it up. Yeah. Oh, what would you call it? Well, I think the reason that I drink it, so this might help with the name and perhaps we can workshop, is that I believe that like really clean white tequila doesn't give you a hangover. Okay.

And like then soda doesn't like that many calories. And then lime's nice. It's spicy. I don't know. I was going to say like something like good morning, but then that suggests you should drink it in the morning. Yeah. Perfect.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's quite good. The good morning. The good morning is a great name, man. The good morning. The good morning is a great name for it. We come to your dessert, Catherine.

Very exciting for me. Always my favorite course. I brought another present for dessert. This is my favorite dessert in Canada. Again, it's a controversial one. Some people really dislike it. I love it. I don't know if it exists here.

Okay. But I found it. Oh, if it's anything like the Screamin' Dill Pickle Pringles, then we're... It's Tootsie Rolls. Yeah. Tootsie Rolls. I've never had these before, but I've heard about them a lot on films and stuff like that. Let me see your Tootsie Roll.

Cotton Candy, Sweetie, Yo. Let me see your Tootsie Roll. I don't know that Tootsie Roll. What are they referring to when they say that in rap songs? I think it's the bum. The butt. It's normally the butt, right? In rap songs.

This doesn't look like a butt, though. No, it doesn't. I think it's just... So you've got to like... The packaging is so classic. It makes me feel like I'm in a sitcom in the 50s. Very Willy Wonka. Yeah.

Coming up to that again. I'm not going to eat my Tootsie Roll now, Catherine. I know you have. Because then I'd have to inject and maybe it'd be a whole thing. But I'm going to take it with me. So you have to twirl off a little piece at the end. You can't bite it off. You're going to have to spin it off so you get a little piece

and then put the whole thing in your mouth. Look at that. So I've got a chunk there. I'll just chuck this in. Lob this in the gob. Lob it in the gob. And you've got to sort of suck on it. If it gets warm, it won't be so chewy.

But it's like kind of like a chocolate molasses. Like I don't even know what Tootsie Roll is. It looks very chewy, but it does look chocolatey as well. Oh, yeah. It's got a real distinctive flavor. I'm having a good time. This is great. So you ate a lot of these when you were younger in Canada, right?

Was this a sort of nostalgic dessert? Yeah. And they have really little ones too, like fun size. And those are so nice. And if you got Tootsie Rolls at Halloween, it was always my favorite. I put those to the side. It's like a chocolatey, fudgy kind of toffee affair.

Also, it feels a bit like I'm eating cake icing. Yeah, like a chunk of cake icing. Yeah, but chewy. Which is right up your street, isn't it? It's like cake icing flavored toffee fudge. It's so good. It is delicious. The only reason I'm not having another mouthful

is because I need to talk. So this is your this is your dream dessert, the Tootsie Roll. Well, let me think. I brought those for you because. Absolutely great. I think my dream dessert would be if you were able to make like a cheesecake and incorporate some Tootsie Roll base. This is what we like.

We like people inventing their own things. Yeah. A cheesecake with a Tootsie Roll base is a great idea. It'd be so nice. It's instead of the biscuit base. Yeah. Yeah, it sounds good. Well, biscuit base with like bits of Tootsie Roll in it.

You could even roll in some graham cracker, do you like? Yeah, and then put some like some cocoa and molasses through the through the cheesecake mixture as well. Tootsie Roll cheesecake, someone must have done it. Surely. This has been a Google heavy episode, but Benita, do some more research. Tootsie Roll cheesecake recipe.

There it is. Is it? Oh, wow. Is it? Yeah. No reviews. Tootsie Roll cheesecake from Mesipi Goldmine. I made this as a joke for a friend who seems to only eat

Tootsie Rolls and drink coffee. It was wonderful. I've made it many times since. Shall I do a shout out of the website? Is Epicurious? I've been on Epicurious before. Yeah, it's just like a recipe database. So you're a fan of cheesecake?

I think I am. Yeah? Yeah. Bake cheesecake or just like when they don't bake it? I don't think I know the difference. Boiled. Boiled cheesecake. Because you can make like a cheesecake

and just put it on there and then chill it. Really? Or then there's like New York Bake Cheesecake where the one that has like the brown top and then it's a bit more solid. Oh, sure. I think I like. I think I like cold like.

Yeah, cold like creamy cheesecake. I think so. With Tootsie Rolls in it. Got it. Got that, Jeannie? Got that. Got it all written down, would you like to hear your order back?

Yes. Here we go. It's a very delicious order. Still water to start off with. Absolutely no fizzy water going anywhere near you. Corn chips and salsa for your pop of domes or bread. You would like for starter potato latkes with smoked salmon from the Four Seasons in Toronto.

Your main course, Bangkok Stir Fry from Salad King, also in Toronto. Side. Poutine from Smokes Poutine in Toronto. Yeah. Certainly not from the Four Seasons in Toronto who have let themselves down. Just drink, you would like a good morning.

Don't hear the other one. Tequila with lime soda and chili. A dessert. Tootsie Roll Cheesecake from Epicurious website. That you already discovered a few minutes ago. Mmm, nice. Does that sound good? Sounds like a good meal.

You've really repped for Canada as well. You've come out big for Canada. You have absolutely. Yeah, I didn't realise it until we sat down. Like it was all from Toronto. Well, I will say. Um, I was hungrier then. So everything tasted better.

But also, I just, I think Canadians have got food nailed. Yeah. We really have good food because we get great Mexican and we're really cold. So we eat like warm things. Thank you very much for coming to the Dream Restaurant, Catherine. Thank you, Catherine. Thank you.

I've enjoyed being in the Dream Restaurant seeing you both. And thank you for the gifts. And thank you. Anytime. What a menu. And James has a gob full of tutsi roll. I did it again. Now he did it again.

He knew we were recording an outro. We're right back in there. And he's just dived straight back into that tutsi roll, which looks delicious. I'm in heaven. Also, although it does look delicious, I've got to say for many years, I've searched for the perfect thing to make a fake poo out of.

And that would be ideal, wouldn't it? It doesn't look like a fake poo to be fair. And if it was a poo, I'd be standing right under that butt. With my mouth open. It's delicious. Lovely menu from Catherine. I enjoyed that very much indeed.

I really want some tequila now. That's what I've taken away from that. Yeah, the tequila with the soda and lime and the chili. Chili, the chili swung it for me. Good morning, indeed. Good morning. Yes, thank you. And luckily, Catherine did not say strawberry sauce.

If she'd added strawberry sauce to the good morning, she would have been out on her ear. Absolutely. But she got to stay in, have the full meal, and we're thankful for it. We've got some screaming dill pickle Pringles and some Tootsie Rolls. And look, I know that these things haven't sponsored us.

They didn't think they were going to... They haven't been donated for free by the company. They're getting a lot of promotion. They are. But I am loving them. So we have been giving some stuff for free, though. This is our life now. We get given some sort of nice things from companies,

which is very exciting and all I want from my life. We've got a few shout-outs to give. Remedy Can Butcher. We talked about Butch. Yeah, we talked about Butch. I love Butch. A lot of people don't like Butch. I love the Butch.

I love the Butch. And the Remedy Can Butcher. Absolutely delicious, I've got to say. Very nice. Yeah. We've got a given Flaming Licks Hot Sauce. I love a Hot Sauce. Love a Hot Sauce.

Not tried this one yet, but... I'm going to put it on my eggs. Get involved. I bought a lot of Hot Sauce for people around Christmas. Did you? Yeah, bought Da Bomb. Oh. Didn't you receive Da Bomb as well, though?

Yes, I was giving Da Bomb. You were giving Da Bomb? And I gave Da Bomb. You gave Da Bomb. Not the same bomb. Not the same bomb. The different bomb. So, thank you Flaming Licks Hot Sauce.

I will be tasting that. I can't wait. And also, London Sarky, James. London Sarky. Which is a drink, right? Which is a drink. Yes, it is. Yeah.

Yes. It's not my nickname for you, yes. Yes, Sarky Bastard. Marlene? I don't mind a bit of Sarky, so I'm looking forward to trying that as well. Thank you very much for sending that to us. Yes.

Thank you very much for listening. We will see you again another time in The Dream Restaurant. Goodbye. Farewell. Hello, it's me, Amy Glentill. You might remember me from the best ever episode of Off Menu, where I spoke to my mum and asked her about seaweed on mashed potato, and our relationship's never been the same since.

And I am joined by... Me, Ian Smith. I would probably go bread. I'm not going to spoil it in case... Get him on, James and Ed. But we're here sneaking in to your podcast experience to tell you about a new podcast that we're doing. It's called Northern News.

It's about all the news stories that we've missed out from the North because, look, we're two Northerners. Sure, but we've been living in London for a long time. The news stories are funny. Quite a lot of them crimes. It's all kicking off, and that's a new podcast called Northern News. We'd love you to listen to. Maybe we'll get my mum on.

Get Glentill's mum on every episode. That's Northern News. When's it out, Ian? It's already out now, Amy! Is it? Yeah, get listening. There's probably a backlog. You've left it so late.