Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 57: Simon Rogan

Episode Date: April 29, 2020

Chef Simon Rogan – whose Lake District restaurant L’Enclume has two(!) Michelin stars – joins us in the dream restaurant this week. And the hangover trilogy is finally complete.Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive Productions.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations).For more info on Simon Rogan and his restaurants visit his website.Follow Simon Rogan on Twitter: @simon_roganFollow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, listeners of the Off Menu podcast. It is Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu podcast. I have a very exciting announcement. I have written my first ever book. I am absolutely over the moon to announce this. I'm very, very proud of it. Of course, what else could I write a book about? But food. My book is all about food. My life in food. How greedy I am. What a greedy little boy I was. What a greedy adult I am. I think it's very funny. I'm very proud of it. The book is called Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy. And it's coming out this October, but it is available to pre-order now, wherever you pre-order books from. And if you like my signature, I've done some signed copies,

which are exclusively available from Waterstones. But go and pre-order your copy of Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy now. Please? And if you just sniff the podcast, you can really tell how much love's gone into it. Welcome to the Off Menu podcast with me, Ed Gamble. And Lady Gaga over there, apparently. James A. Caster, yes. This is one of the famous James A. Caster hangover episodes, where you're recorded three in a day, where James has a hangover. So if fact fans looking out for that to happen, this is one of those episodes. Also, by now, if this is the third one that comes out, obviously listeners will be able to figure out which one's going to be a hangover

episode before they even listen, because of the photo. They'll be like, he's wearing that shirt. He's not wearing that T-shirt. He's wearing that face. He's wearing that goddamn face. The haggle of the face. He really looks like a sack of shit. Anyway, welcome to the Off Menu podcast, where we ask a special guest in our dream restaurant. Their favourite ever. Start a main course dessert, side dish and drink, please. Yes. And this week, we are very excited to have another chef guest in the dream restaurant. Yeah, cooking it up. The chef guest this week is Simon Rogan. Very excited. I am a fan of Simon's work. I've been to his restaurant

Long Klume in Cartmell in the Lake District, which comedy fans, as well, I know we've got a lot of comedy fans. We've got food fans. Comedy fans may recognise it from the first episode, I believe, of the trip. The first ever episode of the trip was in Long Klume, and it's fantastic. I went for lunch there before a gig in the Lake District once. I had lunch there with Phil Wang and Steve Hall. What a pair. What a pair. And what a tray we were. Did Phil send the wine back? Phil did not send the wine back. It was many years ago before he grew a pair. Oh, yeah, yeah, fair enough. Yeah. Simon has also got, so he's got two in Cartmell now. He's got a restaurant in London called Roganick. He's

just opened two restaurants in Hong Kong, which is pretty cool. So he's got lots going on, and we're very excited to find out what his dream meal is. As much as I respect the man and enjoy his food, if he says the secret ingredient, which we will announce now, then he will be kicked out of the restaurant. And this week, the secret ingredient James is courgette. Courgette. James hates courgette, spiralised courgette. Don't remind me of something that's better than what you are. I kind of agree. It makes me think of spaghetti and how much I like spaghetti, or just courgette on its own. I prefer to courgette. It does nothing for the courgette to make it all spiralised and put it like that. It takes away all the

flavour, I think. I don't like the texture of it when it's like that. It's the worst way to have courgettes, and the worst way to have spaghetti all in one. Yeah, I think you're probably correct. I went through a phase of I bought a spiraliser. I used to eat quite a lot of courgette when I was going through an ultra-low-carb phase. But now you can buy these noodles which are made from a specific thing, a zero-carb, and taste a little bit more like noodles. Okay. So I'm on those now. Are you? Yeah, but the courgette absolutely not. No. The courgette's a wonderful thing. So, I doubt that the Michelin star chef Simon Rogan will be mentioning courgette, but if he does, it will be a goodbye from

us. Yeah, it will be a goodbye. But let's see what he says. So, for now, this is the off-menu-menu of Simon Rogan. Welcome to the Dream Restaurant, Simon Rogan. Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. You're very welcome to be here. Ah. Welcome, Simon Rogan, to the Dream Restaurant. Now, it's very swish, I must say. Pretty swish, right? It is. I mean, I would love a restaurant like this. Yeah. Super swish. If you, we're recording this in the top room of the Bill Murray, which doesn't feel like a swish restaurant, but the beauty of the Dream Restaurant, Simon, is you can imagine whatever you like in here. Exactly. And yeah, I think we're going to

come up with a few good things. So, why not? I reckon so. I'm inspired. When you walk into a space the first time that you're thinking about opening a restaurant in, do you stand there and just try and visualize where everything's going to go, what it's going to look like? Yeah, well, pretty much we normally take on restaurants that are already there. Right So, yeah, so it doesn't need too much imagination. So it's a case of like what we want to strip out or not. I've never really gone for this sort of empty space, new build sort of thing. So, you know, I haven't got the imagination for that, I don't think. I'm very similar. I've been looking around houses at the moment, looking where to move to. And my girlfriend's

amazing at going, and we can put this here, this here, and this here. It's like, no, we need to go to the houses that are already finished. It's always easier, copy and other people's tastes, I think, you know, and some of it is a bit naff, but more, more for the not. It's good enough for me. Yeah. Well, James exploded in there because he is playing the waiter in this. He's a, he's a genie as well, which means he can magic you anything that you want for your meal from wherever around the world from whatever time in your life. Right. Okay. I'll tell you what, it's my pleasure. He's a very polite genie waiter as well. Yeah. It was always Andy to have a genie waiter. Yeah. Have you had any particular,

like, amazing waiters who work at your restaurants that sticking your mind as being the best? And do you have someone who sticks your mind as being the worst? Both, really. If I tell them, I want to pay rise or to come around and kill me. So I sort of keep that under my chest really. What's the top, what's the top quality you look for if you're hiring a waiter? Someone who's really enthusiastic, you know, got an eye for detail for UK staff. It's a fairly dying breed. I mean, we don't see it as a trade over here, like they do in France where it's an art form. It's seen as a bit of a sort of a negative sort of position. Like a stopgap sort of thing. Exactly. Yeah. So why should I wait on this

guy? Cause he's got some money, you know? So, but how about let's wait on this guy and make some money. That's the one with the attitude that I see. So it's an art form in France, is it? I think they look at it as an art form. Yeah. Anything in the food field, they look at it as being sort of right at the top of the tree really. It's all part of the experience. They've got their history, haven't they? Let's face it, quite envious and you know, sometimes I think I was born French really, but I come out English, unfortunately. But yeah, I love France and you know, the whole lifestyle. It's something that really appeals to me. Is there a meal you've had in France where you remember particularly like the service

was impeccable? Well, yeah, I mean, the best meal of my life was a restaurant called La Ferme de Montpère. It was a guy called Marc Varat. So he's in the, in the sort of hills of Mont Blanc in the Alps. So we left Cumbria to go down to Manchester after service and the restaurant that night flew very, very early, five o'clock in the morning to Geneva, back into France, arrived to Mugev where the restaurant was. And then, you know, it's like snowing in April, which was pretty magical. And then when we went to the restaurant, it was basically a recreation of his father's farm. So it's just like a film set. So you look through the, there's a glass square in the floor and you see some live pigs and

you look over in the corner and there's a cow looking you through the wall and it was just an absolutely magical place. So all specifically to recreate his father's farm? There was hay bales here. And, you know, it was just, it was just like being on a film set. That's amazing. And the meal was, was, was incredible. And, you know, I took great inspiration from that because it's basically based on alpine herbs, wild herbs, flowers and sort of flora, which I'm very passionate myself. See, Lake District's not the Alps, obviously, but it's the nearest, we've got it. It's the nearest we got to it. So it was a big inspiration for me. So that was the most memorable meal in France that I can

remember. Did you get up early in the morning, go out and find something the Lake District to use to? I used to. Right, yeah. Not so much any more. Have you got other people to do that? Yeah, we've got other people to do that. I mean, to be quite honest, we, we, we sort of took a step back on the foraging side because, you know, sort of use, you know, grow up and sort of look at things and what you're doing. And then you realise a lot of it is a load of shit.

We always start the meal with the choice of still or sparkling water. What would you prefer? Well, I, you know, much to my exec chef's disgust because he's a real still man and he's, he thinks that's a man's, a man's water if you like. I go, I go for sparkling myself as much as possible in a moment because I'm trying to use a little bit of weight and I've told, if the more you drink, the more you feel full up because of the bubbles in it. Yeah. So it's sort of got a bit of a double, double whammy for me at the moment. So sparkling

water, definitely like a bit of fizz in my life. Yeah. And, and then, you know, I definitely lose a bit of food. I've been eating like an absolute Trojan recently. That's not surely allowed as a, as a chef. Yeah, a little taste maybe, but you know, I've, I've been absolutely caning it recently because we've just opened a couple of restaurants in Hong Kong. Amazing. So I've been out there quite a lot and obviously there's nothing low calorie about Chinese food. So it's, it's been quite tough on the old physique. So I'm trying to lose a bit

of weight recently. You've been off the leash over there. Yeah, definitely. It's sort of morning, afternoon, dinner, right the way throughout the night. I mean, we think we've got a lot of restaurants in London. You want to go to Hong Kong, it's just absolutely incredible and it never stops. So yeah, definitely sparkling water. To fill yourself up a little bit. Yeah, definitely.

That's quite clever. Pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up. Right, well I eat loads, I eat an absolute shed load of bread. Day in, day out. I don't know how many loads. Do you have a shed full of bread on the farm? Not shed full of bread. We have a shed full of bread at the restaurant. We have our own bakery, which is, which is great. But yeah, I eat bread day in, day out. So if I'm out, I'll go pop a dom.

Yeah, yeah, I'm probably the only person I know that likes lime pickle, to be fair. I love it. I think it's like hotter than a bear. We've chatted a little bit about lime pickle in the past and it's I think, I like, for For me, it's just quite a confusing flavour. I'm like, I don't really know what's going on here, but I guess for you, as a chef, you know exactly why it tastes the way it does,

what's going on there. Yeah, mainly due to the Kingfisher, you're drinking with it, I think. It's a big help to actually get him through it. But yeah, I like dips, you know, I like the actual sort of mixing those dips, the yoghurt and the lime pickle and whatever's on offer. You know, with the little vegetables as well,

it's a great way to start. I mean, when I was on Great Rich Menu, I think I did so well was because I was actually living in Marlborough at the time. And I had, you know, an Indian every night at the Kingfisher and it took me away from the filming and just sort of really relaxed me. So I'm a real love of a Ruby and Indian food.

Every night, you could eat a curry every night. Oh, absolutely, yeah. It helped, it was literally 20 yards across the road, so I didn't have to go anywhere for it. Did the same curry every day? No, I didn't change it up. No, I was being really sort of quite imaginative with my choices, so I wasn't sort of like,

oh, I'm just gonna have to wear the same tie for luck. I wasn't gonna have the same curry for luck. So I did all right that day, I had a different curry. So, you know, it worked out okay. But yeah, good, good, a big lover of Indian food or all food. The beers that you get in like Indian restaurants, Chinese restaurants, I think are actually some of my favorite beers.

So like a Kingfisher or like a Tiger and Cobra. Yeah, yeah. I love them, I love them so much. I've started, when I started noticing that you can't actually just buy them in the supermarket. I felt so weird the first time I had a Cobra and I wasn't in an Indian restaurant. Would you have it without Indian food?

Yeah. Yeah, I would, yeah, I mean, I'd never do that. It feels so weird, Ed, I love doing it, but it feels so strange to be sitting there in your living room, just having a Cobra. It's very strange. I think they're very refreshing with beers, so I think you can drink them with anything.

Is a Cobra less fizzy? Is that right? I'm more of a Kingfisher man myself. Don't drink that much Cobra. I thought like a Cobra is sold on the basis of it being less fizzy, so it's almost in the opposite of what you're using sparkling water for. So you're less full up.

Oh, I don't want to drink that. Don't touch it, yeah. I don't want to touch that. You want double-fizz. Yeah, exactly, yeah. So we come to your starter, so the big leagues now. Yeah. The big boys.

The show stoppers. Probably have to be som tam, papaya salad, because I absolutely love Thai food as well. And here we go again. It's great with a single beer. Right. There is nothing. It's a match made in heaven as far as I'm concerned.

Papaya, really gorgeous papaya, fragrant, fresh, crispy, papaya salad with a single beer. And I could eat it all day, every day, for the rest of my life. It's a desert island food without a shadow of a doubt. And it's so healthy for you. I don't need to drink so much fizzy water. So what else in the salad then?

What ingredients have we got in there? Oh, you've got papaya, obviously green papaya in it. You've got some fish sauce. You've got peanuts, you've got tamarind juice, you've got coriander, tomatoes. So all those really fragrant, lovely palm sugar as well, a little bit of sweetness. So you've got all those lovely, lovely flavors,

and it's just so nice. And like I say, with a single beer in the other hand. You've been very thin about that side. It's got tamarind, but actually papaya salad, no, out the window. It hasn't got a single beer, you know? So it's got to be that combination. This is quite, so we've had something of the third chef we've interviewed, and chefs tend to,

we've found that chefs do tend to pair each course with a certain drink as well. I guess we've had a light, it would just be that starter. I guess you're just used to thinking about what's it going to go with. The whole experience. Yeah, well, I think that's because chefs drink a lot. Right.

I don't think that's what it is. That's very much what we're understanding over the course of doing this podcast, is that chefs drink a lot. Although we had Tom Kerridge on the podcast. Oh, right, the king of drink as well. Was the king of drink. Yeah, exactly, but he said it's a dream restaurant.

His drink was 24 cans of stellar. I've actually left Tom a few nights off the 24 cans of stuff. I'm telling you, I mean, he's as fresh as a daisy and I'm absolutely dying on all fours sort of things. So, yeah, I've had a few sessions with him and yeah, it's not pleasant. I'm telling you, especially the next morning. Yeah, that's when we got the inkling

that the chefs might drink more than non-chefs. Yeah, well, we had a pub in Cartman for a time, not for long, obviously. We weren't very good at drunk all the profits. But no, it's probably part of the job, really. Is it part of the job, I guess, because you're just finishing so late? Pretty much, yeah, it's a release.

Obviously, we're going to talk about my favorite drink in a minute and obviously there's no... You don't have to guess what it's going to be. It's very bitter. It's something about alcohol. But it's something just a little bit of a release after work and just going back and forth. I haven't thought about this a lot.

So, chefs, you're not going out for like a massive night after service, are you? Or is it just a few drinks? Well, I'm a little bit older these days. So, going out and getting tanked, like probably a lot of the younger guys there. I mean, that's sort of a bit away from me now. Because what time are you up for service?

Or not for service for preference? I'm up early. I mean, I'm up early. So, I'm up as early as possible. So, I was up at six o'clock this morning. I bombed it around the farm to have a look at a few things before I jumped on the train down to London. So, yeah, early starts.

Yeah, just the idea of going out after work and getting hammered and then having to get up at that time of the morning. Yeah, well, we haven't got the pub anymore. So, I didn't normally go home. Yeah. So, I just go stroll into bed. There's no going out and getting hammered anymore.

It's, yeah, go in the... Cartmel doesn't get Larry after work. Well, it's got a decent pub call, actually. There's six, for a village the size of it, there's six drinking holes now. So, you know. It's such a picturesque town, though. You don't imagine it kicking off.

And I've been to Cartmel. I've been to Longcloom. I came to Longcloom for absolutely amazing meal. But I couldn't imagine it being a Larry night out. Well, we'll be Larry this weekend. It's Cartmel races. Okay. What's that?

It's got the smallest horse racing track in the UK. So, it's race weekend this weekend. It's not Ascot, obviously. But we have a... How small are we talking, Simon? Because I'm imagining just the size of this table. Yeah, it's been a lot of horses this way. I don't know how many miles it is, actually.

Like a dog chased its tail. Yeah, it probably takes one hour. It's probably about, I don't know, about a mile long, I would say. But it sort of goes round and round. And it's a tiny dinky little thing. It's quite funny. It's right in the village. I can't remember if you can see it.

It's like small in the village. But yeah, it's a pretty wild time when the races are on. And you know how big the village is. We'll probably have, if the sun shines, there's anything between 20,000 and 30,000 people. Oh, amazing. Yeah, so it's... Do you do special dishes for that time?

No, to be honest, our customers hate it. Right. Yeah, because they're normally on a busy weekend or a bank holiday anyway when we're full. So all our customers are a little bit more well-to-do and they're not coming for the races. They actually hate it because they can't actually get into the village

for one thing. And it's just too packed. So it's actually not great for us, if you like. So we've actually resorted now to having a restaurant on the races. So we take the other restaurant, Rogan Company, and we've got a tent on the race course. And we feed people there now.

So it's good. It's good fun. Good fun. It's great. Do you feel like you've... So how many... Is it two restaurants in Cartmel now? Well, we've got two restaurants in Cartmel.

And then we've got two in London, two in Hong Kong. And then we're opening another one in the lakes up near Bones. Amazing. We're in a hotel in Point Health up there. So we're very, very excited about that because it's a break from the norm of my normal style of food.

So we were normally rooted in British ingredients and not sort of curring off too much from there. But this is about my travels from around the world. Oh, great. And I bought in a chef from over from the US and he's got a great knowledge of world foods as well. So it's going to be a little bit different. Same ethos, organic and healthy and stuff like that,

but more of a world influence. So it's something completely different, which yes, it should be a lot of fun, I hope. Well, that many restaurants, because you must be like, you know, I don't know how often you change the menus and stuff. Are you just constantly thinking of? Constantly thinking of.

This is the next. Constantly, constantly thinking. Luckily, I've got amazing teams in all of those restaurants. So I walk into Roganik tonight and I, you know, since last week I've been up in Cart Mal and we catch up and then boom, we start talking about new dishes and changes and stuff like that.

So they make it easy for me. If I was doing it all on my own, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be able to take it, you know, I would be completely in a new summer. But it's good, they make things easy for me a lot. And you've been in Cart Mal for a while now, right? Are the locals are all right with it? It doesn't...

Right, yeah, I'm still an off-comer. Yeah. I've been there 19 years now. Don't know how much longer I have to be there before not being called an off-comer. Right, okay. But yeah, we do all right for the village. I mean, to be fair,

there's a lot of good things to go to in Cart Mal now. I mean, there's always the sticky toffee pudding and Cart Mal priory and all these wonderful things to the races. But now, you know, we've got some really sort of great craft breweries, micro breweries, wine bars, say six pubs, all sorts of different gift shop. It's become quite a nice little place

and we've got a shop as well. So our own merchandise. Were they a bit funny about you when you first arrived and sort of... Because to open then, to open another restaurant as well. Yeah, I mean... Who thought you're trying to rickstein it and take over the whole town.

I think they thought who's this summer coming up and taking a sort of a Northern guy's livelihood or something like that. But I mean, to be fair, at the time, Foot and Mouth had just finished when I arrived there. So... Suspicious.

It was a bit, yeah. That was the name of the restaurant before you got there. Well, it was quite an infamous project before I got there because it'd been being built for two years and it's been renovated because it's a 30th century forge. So all the renovations were going on before I arrived. So it was already like, oh my God,

when's this going to be finished? The locals were already a bit anti the idea. And obviously when we bought the product in, it was even worse because it was like, what's all this posh stuff, you know? We want a tea shop, you know? Yeah, sure. So, you know, it took a while and, you know,

over the years, it's not been all moonlight and roses, but we're all one big happy family now. Great, glad to hear it. We're all Team Cartmell and, you know, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I'm glad you said Team Cartmell and not Team Simon. Yes, I can. No, we're all on Team Simon now.

Team! How spicy are we talking for the papaya salad? Oh, pretty spicy, quite a lot, actually, isn't it? Yeah, for that nice, crisp singer, you know? It's got to have a nice cuving in it. Well, again, there you go, there you go. We've come to your main course. Mm.

Funnily enough, the main course is actually alcohol-linked. I never thought of that, to be honest, but it takes me back to my first job when I was training. So, I started off in a Greek restaurant in Southampton. Oh, wow. And so, I started as a 14-year-old as a part-timer on a Friday and Saturday night. And I remember it was back in 1980.

Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff. And I got on the train. And I got paid £24 a week, which was an amazing amount of money for someone at school. For you, yeah, that's incredible. It was amazing, yeah. Working with two sort of Playboy Greek guys who were a bit, you know, a bit with the ladies

and stuff like that, and they took me under their wing. You know, we used to, you know, finish the shift and go and play snooker or go to nightclubs and stuff like that. I was a bit young, but they got me in somehow. A little bit, yeah. Their looks got me in, I think. 14, 24, cutting your pocket.

Yeah. The world was my oyster. So when it always came to sort of leaving school, it was like, you know what? Sod this college or university. I'm going to be a chef. I'm earning loads of money, and I'm, you know, I'm with these two guys in my nightclubs.

So I took a full-time job as soon as I left school and got better at the Greek restaurant. And all of a sudden, I was on £250 a week in those days, which was quite a lot of money. Having a great time. But then I went to day release college and realized that, actually, I was a load of shit compared to all the other guys that were in the class

from really good country house hotels and places like that. So that really ignited the competitive nature of me. I want to make myself better. So I moved to another hotel in the New Forest as an apprentice to a chef that had been at the Savoy for 12 years. I can't get more classical than that. Yeah.

For a young chef, it's really important for a massive classical grounding. It's absent these days, which is another story. So anyway, now I've gone to that job and I was getting paid no money whatsoever. Oh, really? And all the reasons for taking a career as a chef were turned on their head.

But by then, I was absolutely in love with what I was doing. So you're making less money in the posh country house hotel than you were at the Greek restaurant? Yeah, I was, yeah. But I wanted to make myself better. So it didn't really matter. Did the Greek guys still come and pick you up and take you out to the nightclub?

No, they didn't. No, they weren't very happy that I left. But anyway, so my main course would be Musaka. Right. Because I was the king of Musaka. Well, James is the mash king. I am the mash king. When I worked at a pub, I was known as the mash king.

Oh, really? Because I made very good mash potato. Oh, right, OK. It's really nice to meet the Musaka king. How did you make the mash potatoes? Musaka is, of course, in the Lion King, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's easy, yeah, yeah.

I made the mash potatoes with, so, full-fat cream, butter, loads of salt and pepper, and... And a city's pour a whole thing of beer into it. And the secret ingredient was potatoes. I knew they were coming, so... Yeah, yeah, but I was pretty good at it. Yeah, yeah. Back in the day.

If you're doing that all day, every day, you normally become quite good at it, don't you? So that's all I did. I was Musaka, I did the chips as well. Take us through it, take us through the layers, because I think there might be some listeners who aren't versed in Musaka. Yeah, I mean, we went to town

on the Venus Greek taverna, Musaka. It was... Normally, I think it's just potatoes and courgettes, obviously lamb mince and like a cheesy sauce on the top. I mean, we had potatoes, courgettes, peppers, aubergines, all that sort of stuff. It was potatoes first in the dish, then some roasted courgettes.

Roasted potatoes first, roasted courgettes. Then the lovely lamb mince, cooked down with a bit of cinnamon, and some really, really nice and fragrant and tasty. And then laid over the top of that was roasted aubergines and roasted peppers, and then the cheese sauce went over the top. Oh, good. And we did it in massive trays like that.

Let it go cold and cut out big squares of it. With cubes. And it's chucked it in the oven and all melted, and it was delicious. So I always remember that, and I've loved Musaka ever since. You don't see it a lot. You don't.

It's waiting for some sort of hipster regeneration, I think, Musaka. Well, I think with Greek food, I don't know why, but you never see amazing quantities of amazing Greek restaurants in the UK. And when you think about it, it's probably one of the world cuisines.

Look at what's on offer. But I think Turkey have taken most of the glory for the Greek food. So I would put Greek food on a pile with Italian or France for the history and the actual quality of what's on offer. But you don't really see it. So maybe that's next.

Yeah, I think that might be next. And it's really high quality. Bring back the Venus. Yeah, bring back the Venus. Regenerate the Venus. That'd be amazing. I see if Noffy Doss and Michael are available to come and fun it.

Yeah, they're probably gray by now. Yeah, they'll still be down the nightclub. They will, yeah. I really want that to happen now. I really want you to open a Greek restaurant, call it the same name, and then we should say, Hey, what's your space?

What's the idea of this podcast? Yeah, what's your space? Yeah. Pay yourself a little bit more. Have you ever included dishes that inspired by that Greek restaurant? Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah.

When we opened along Clune, we were very much the style we are now. But I did have a bit of a phase where I got a bit sidetracked and I went off around the world. So I got inspired or influenced by Spain and the Far East and stuff like that. And there's a few dishes that crept on the menu

that were from the Venus Greek to Verna. So I remember this meatball recipe we had at the restaurant. And I bought that back and we served it on a little syringe. And we made it as that ziki, but we made it and made it smooth and then charged it in a cream whipper. So it was like a foam and stuff like that.

It was actually on the menu. Meatballs, Mr. Nick would be proud of. So Mr. Nick was the father of Norfidos and Mike, who actually owned the restaurant. So little pointers from there was definitely on the menu, but he grew up quite quickly. So we had to or else we wouldn't be in business for very long with stuff going on like that.

So, you know, it's quite funny. People are not keen on meatball, honestly. When you're sort of really going for an avant-garde and it's just like crazy techniques as well, you know, it's not to everyone's taste. You know, it's everyone's life, what we do, but then you get little percentages that don't and I want everyone to love what we do.

Sure, sure. Still, I'd quite like to try that meatball. Yeah, yeah, we're really good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So your side dish, we've got a big Greek main here. Like, it's a side dish. I mean, they don't have to balance, do they? No, not at all.

It's a good shot. Whatever you want. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to go for the potatoes because they are my favourite ingredient and it's got to be a gratin tofu nois. Ah. Got to be.

I'm talking my language. I mean, you don't need cutlery. I just use my hands. I've got a dish and I'm just handing it into my mouth, you know. My favourite way of preparing potatoes is the tofu nois because it's the vehicle for cream. Yeah, exactly.

Cream and garlicky. Creamy garlicky cheesy goodness. Oh, so good. And then obviously over the years, there's been so many different sort of techniques and little tricks and ways of doing it. I mean, you boil the cream and put the potatoes in and then just chuck it in a dish

or you layer the potatoes and then layer in the cream and the garlicky. I'm pretty much of the layering. The layering school. The technique myself actually because there's a little bit more care and, you know, when you cut through the tofu nois, you've got lovely, neat layers and sort of that preciseness.

When I've cooked tofu nois in the past in like a glass thing and then you can see what's going on. You can watch what's going on under the surface like an aquarium for potato. Yeah, like an aquarium for potato. A potato. Right now, I'm thinking that very thought

and thinking what I would have in my right hand, which I'd be drinking at the time. OK, yeah. I thought this was coming, so I'm into it. And I didn't say anything for the lasagna. It would have to be a glass of wine, wouldn't it really? That's probably the only thing I drink wine with, to be quite honest,

but yeah, tofu nois would be top of the list, I think. Other than the Greek salad. Yeah, sure, sure. That would go better with the moussaka, sure. It would. But you've got moussaka and then the tofu nois, I would say, to two tray things. Two layers.

You're also thinking of service, of getting things down quickly, so you can just both in the oven. It's all in the preparation. So, the less in the serving, the more you can concentrate on the right pairing just for drinking. Why is potato your favourite ingredient?

Obviously, I think that's very versatile in so many different ways you can eat them, you know? And, you know, we grow lots of them on the farm, and it's, you know, grow little, tiny, tiny little potatoes, you just literally flake the skin off and just barely cook them. We cook them al dente, actually,

and they're just so, so tasty. But, yeah, I mean, I don't know how many variations of potato dish there is in the roost gastronomic, which is the chef's Bible, but I bet it's thousands. So, I would say potatoes are the... I mean, the mash is pretty crazy.

If you had to rank your top five ways of doing potatoes... Here we go. Yeah. How would you do it? Well, Dothanwise, definitely. Mash would be right up there, 50-50. 50% butter, 50% potato. Ah-ha. Yeah. Proper coronary.

I know you're the professional, Simon, but don't come in here and try and challenge the mash. Don't try and knock him off his throne. No, I'll leave that to him. You've already got your Musaka realm. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fine. Boulanger, as well, I reckon. Quite nice. It's in the stock and the onions.

That's a really nice one. I've told this story before, Simon. My mum does potatoes like Boulanger and then roast a lamb on top of the potatoes so all the fat drips down. Yeah, a bit like a lamb hot pot. A bit like a lamb hot pot. What a great Sunday that is.

Yeah. I'll say, just lovely, lovely little ones. Just gently scrapes, just loads of butter again and a bit of mint, maybe. It's just a really nice way to eat them. You've not even mentioned the humble chip. Well, chips, yeah, of course. Yeah, absolutely. Chips.

But you're not bothered by chips. Not really, no. No, it's like you're all down into this. You didn't see a lot of chips. I don't eat a lot of chips, to be honest, which is funny enough. I eat most potatoes in just about every way, but I don't eat that many chips, which is quite unusual. People will be up in arms out there listening to us.

Oh, yeah, they'll be like, what am I? They'll be screaming at the sky. They'll be outside there with their pitchforks and their torches. With chips on the end of the pitchfork. How many was that anyway? I don't know. There's a four or five on there. I feel like you've done it, yeah. Jackets, yeah, jacket potatoes.

Oh, come on, what, yeah. How did I forget that one, you know? What you're putting in that? Because I'm thinking, well, do you remember the spudgy-like chains? Do you remember them? Don't see them anymore, they've gone now, yeah. So I'm thinking for Hong Kong, that might be our next little venture out there,

to bring spudgy-like to Hong Kong, because I can just see them sat alongside all these little street food places. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A spudgy-like chain in Hong Kong. That would be amazing. And the one I always used to have would be the chicken curry one.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's loads of chicken curry on the top, it was absolutely heavenly. Yeah, I like chicken curry in a jacket potato is a very good combination, excellent. I'm just straight cheese, just fill it with cheese. Scoop out all the potato, throw that away. You're describing loaded skins, Ed.

Oh, loaded skins, yeah. You're describing a jacket potato. I love loaded skins. How about you do? I would always go for loaded skins as a starter in one of those restaurants that do loaded skins. Actually, yeah, can I change him a starter? I'm going to load his skins.

And I would always be disappointed when you get the loaded skins, if there was too much potato left on the skin, I was wanting to be just the skin of the potato, and then a tiny little layer of potato, and then straight meat and cheese. Just much cheese and ham and stuff like that. Yeah, that's a good cool.

It's to make them in a different pub that I've worked in. Where are you with the skin king? Yeah, the skin prince. Yeah. But I would, yeah, we would make those. But like, did him in the fryer, and I always think, I didn't think, I didn't think we did a great job, if I'm honest,

because we'd deep fry the skins first, and then load them up and put it under the grill. But it was well, well, just shit, really. It was just, we still had some grease or oil on it, it wasn't good, it wasn't good. I've always felt a bit bad, because they sounded so good on the menu, I was like, I know we're gonna do a really bad job of these.

You should never, don't send anything out, you're not proud of, that's what I've learned from things like Great British Menu and all these cooking shows. If you're not proud of it, don't send it out. Chuck out the wall, that's what normally happens. I don't like this, bang, straight out the wall. Straight out the wall?

Oh, if I'd done that though, there would have been a lot. I mean, that pub was a pretty bad pub, so there would have been a lot of stuff on that wall. Yes. A lot of food on the wall, the boss would have come in and gone. Have you ever thrown anything at the wall? I've been in the past, yeah.

When you were like an engineer. A long, yeah, a long, long time ago. I mean, I actually grew up as a chef through the late 80s and 90s, when there was a lot of on-front terriblers out there, the Marcos and the Nikos and the Burton races, like that, where it was a battle to get through the day in a kitchen.

So you saw a few sites, and then when you sort of come out of that environment and you start going alone, you sort of want to be like them and you sort of go from the same way, but then all of a sudden you think, actually, you can do better and get more out of people by not being this way.

Why is that? Because you wouldn't get away of it. You get sued every five minutes, so. Why was that a thing? Why was that ever, is it just something to do with the environment that gets people really intense, or is it just attract sort of angry men?

A bit of both, I think. Yes, the environment, yeah, very pressurized and when you're seeking perfection and everything's got to be absolutely on the button, yeah, things go wrong and tempers fray, shall we say, and thankfully not happening these days and rightfully so, and it was a crazy time, definitely, no doubt about that.

That's what people realised I could get away, so I mean, the first person to have been like, means lost it, a chef is like, oh, fuck it's this, and then I'm gonna go at everyone and then realising, I can't away with that. I thought I was gonna be the end of my career. Everyone just took it and carried on. I know I'm doing that, right?

I keep doing that. Because there's a real good release for it, I'm gonna keep on showering at people. Yeah, yeah. But like, yeah, over time, I just have a, absolutely, that same place with the loaded skins, oh, there's a chef there, what a bully, awful.

Was that where they used to pull your trousers down? Well, everyone pulled each other's trousers down. Yeah, it was one of those kitchens. Oh, really? So, wasn't it a proper, like, you know, wasn't it a, it was like a chain, kind of, one of those family pubs, soft player, yeah.

I don't think I've ever worked in a kitchen where they pull their trousers down. Yep, ever. I don't think I have. That's good to know. As someone who's been to one of your, or two other wedges as well, I'm glad to know that no one was pulling

each other's trousers down. No, trousers are most certainly not at all times. Good to know. I want to point out that I wasn't pulling my own trousers down. It was like, people would dekeke me. I was like, I wasn't going, hey guys. Yeah, but you do that now when you cook at home

by yourself, right? Yeah, it's now where I cook at home. It's the only way you can cook. It's the only way you can cook. Victory, every time it's gone, well. But yeah, there's loads of, they were throwing knives at people's feet, steak knives, they'd get the jacket potatoes

and bowl them across the tabletops at Dick height. So they'd just get you in the nuts with those. Put it in Tabasco on your straw if you had a drink. One guy used to heat up tongs on the grill and then hang them back up again and then ask someone to flip a steak for him and then they just get the tong burned in their hand. Horrible, horrible place.

Oh, that's nasty. That's nasty. It sounds like you worked in the worst kitchen ever. I did not like it. Simon said he thought it was nasty, but when you were saying one of that, he was taking notes. Yeah, this is great.

On pranks he could do in the kitchen. I'm not bad at this. I like the grill. So your drinks, we've already had a few drinks already. This is quite exciting. Yeah, I mean, I could punch it up and say something to make me really sophisticated or clever or something like that,

but everyone that knows me would know I'm lying. It's just basically gin and tonic. Really? I'm a gin and tonic boy. I mean, that's it. I think it's the first gin and tonic we've had in the past. It's the first gin and tea we've had. Yeah, I'm a gin and tonic guy.

When I go back to the pub, I actually invented a gin-based drink. I sort of had a little bit of a deviation away from gin and tonic. It was called the floor clearer. So if you picture we're finishing the work, going after work or if I'm off on a night, just gonna sit at the bar and it's a pint glass.

Lovely. Quadruple gin in there. Right. Eight ice cubes and then just fill it up with a really spicy, hot, fiery ginger beer. Oh, yes. And Angostera bitters. Yes.

So basically the effect was, as I drunk more of this drink and went on to the next one, I got louder and louder and the floor cleared. And that was it. Recorded the floor clearer. Quite handy at closing time, obviously, because there's no one left. Yeah.

No one else anymore. But then she went back to gin. Don't drink it as bad as what I used to. Very sort of regulated now. Tanqueray is probably the gin of my choice. Drink too much of it. The W goes on the front of it instead of the tea. Sure, yeah.

But yeah, that's my drink and... I think any drink that starts with, it has to be in a pint glass. Yeah. It's gonna be. Yeah. First of all, take a pint glass. And I'll try taking that to other pubs.

And you try to ask people to make it. But then realize it cost 25 quid to actually drink it. God, will these cost 25 quid every time I drink it anyway? No wonder we were crap at it. No wonder we were shit. Huge loss every single day. You can't figure it out. I love the reason you won't get it in another pub

is because of the price, not because you have to go get a pint glass, quadruple gin. Every time I did it, explain it, I did get a few raised eyebrows. The quadruple gin was probably the first big obstacle to navigate for people actually pouring you ones. Don't be so stupid.

Especially be going in there with a tray of dofin' was. Yeah. But yeah, gin is my drink. I've only got into gin and tonic recently, really. I absolutely love it. That's a good home drink. It is. It is.

And it all started off with Ikea, actually, because I remember we went to Ikea and Warrington to buy some furniture. And we saw these lovely sort of ropey big chairs that you go put in the garden. And they look really nice. And they just became our gin and tonic chair. I was just like, what can we do with these chairs?

I know, let's start drinking gin and tonic. It's actually Ikea's fault that I become a gin and tonic monster. Because they just thought people are gonna sit in them. Yeah. But they weren't banking on a chef coming in and realizing that they needed to pair sitting without them. I need to use these chairs for something. I'm probably drinking gin and tonic.

Yeah, in pint glasses. I've just started drinking a crazy gin that tastes of seaweed. Oh, really? It's from Harris gin. It's from the Isle of Harris. But it really tastes of seaweed. And when I had it initially, I was like,

well, I feel like I'm drowning. Yeah. But now I'm into it. They say drowning is the most peaceful way to die. Really good. Beautiful lid. Yeah, thank you. My old flatmates, Joe and Kate, shout out.

Shout out to Joe and Kate. They went on a little gin making course and like a gin course. And then it was great. Every day, they've made the best gin and tonics I've ever had. Still the best gin and tonics I've ever had. To the point where actually I don't actually get gin and tonics now if I go out

because I always thought it was not as good as Jim and Kate's gin and tonics. Like those big fishbowl glasses and like. Oh, yeah. They're amazing. They're so refreshing and corny. But what's in them? Cucumber or?

Yeah, well, they think grapefruit's really nice. They change it up, actually. They do put grapefruit in it. So I've had ones that they make with cucumber, with grapefruit, with a twisted lemon or orange. But also, they've got some really nice botanical gins and stuff. So they've got some really great ingredients.

I think gin and tonics are one of those drinks where as soon as you have a better one than the ones you've had before, you can't go back. It's really difficult to go back to just having bog-standard gin and tonic. And then, again, instant headache from a bad one. I just can't hack it. Yeah.

Well, that's you find your one, don't you? And obviously, Tanqueray is mine, where I can probably drink a whole bottle and not have a headache the next day. Basically, it's just the way it is. If I went off to Gordon's or anything like that, I'd probably wake up with an absolute steamer. Yeah, yeah.

So it's just one of those you set your mind on. That was New Year's Eve 2018. So I just started having Invisalign, which is the braces when you can't see them. And my dentist has said, you can't really drink stuff, but maybe gin and tonics are fine. So New Year's Eve, I was like,

well, I'm just gonna be on the gin and tonics. And so many gin and tonics. And I hadn't had any alcohol since getting the braces in. So it's my first night on the booze, got really, really drunk, stayed at this lovely people's house. I didn't really know them that well, friends of friends. You knew them before the night started, right?

Yeah, but only vaguely. Only vaguely. And I went to sleep, completely blasted. Woke up, just totally disorientated. Didn't know what room I was in, what house I was in, where I was. I really needed a toilet. Went to what I thought was the door.

Basically walked into a walk-in wardrobe and pissed myself. Oh, yeah. It was horrible. The thing is, we've all done that. Yeah. While saying the word, no. Repeatedly. It was happening.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, no. Funny enough, I did just that after a night out with Terry Sanchez and Fer. I mean, I mentioned, not mentioned the hotel's name in Henley, Big Sesh. Yeah, got to bed, sort of woke up, go to the toilet in the middle of the night.

Door sort of closed and I was out in the corridor. In my pants. In my pants, I couldn't believe it. Never find, mess, characters got you in. I know. Looking for a towel or something, just a cupboard to sort of cover myself up. Sort of door was open and I walked into someone's room.

Couldn't believe it. And they were just like, sled on the bed saying, hello, and I went, oh, hello, and I walked out again. It was just like, so I had to walk down into reception in my pants to say, I've locked myself out. Please can you let me in? So. Was that a night on the floor clearers?

No, it wasn't. That was pre-floor clearers. That was probably stellar. This is a hotel clearer by the sound of things. Luckily, it was late in the middle of the night. James is quite hungover today, so I was really enjoying that floor clearer chat because floor clearers to me sounds

like an absolute dream drink. I love ginger beer. Yeah, it's a bit of a dangerous one because they taste so good and they go down very easily. But you could, all you've done really is scaled it up massively, haven't you? So you could do like a double gin top top with ginger beer, I'm sure it's very nice.

Yeah, pretty much, yeah. But that wouldn't be a floor clearer. No, no. Not throwing a floor. The floor clearer needs to be, you need to get loud, basically. You need to get loud and lairy. Not too lairy where you obviously want to fight anyone,

but you're just in your own part. In your own part. So is your drink, though, for this menu, a gin and tonic or a floor clearer? Gin and tonic. It's a gin and tonic. Yeah, floor clearers. They've been actually retired now.

Yeah, yeah. I think they won't do it in any favours whatsoever, so they've been retired. Gin and tonic is the drink. Gin and tonic doesn't pair well with a meal either. No, no. We're going to the dessert shop, so this is always my favourite course.

Ed's favourite is the starter. Yeah, well, as I was sort of going through my earliest stage of my career in the late 80s and 90s, it's got to be a lemon tart. Lovely. Lemon tart, a nice, fragrant, acidic lemon tart, because every chef worth their salt at that time add an amazing lemon tart on the menu,

be it Marco or the Ruse or Nico. They all had their own version of lemon tart. I think I've got all of them. And I think the best one, the one I would always use, I've worked for Nevelli, John Christoff Nevelli for eight years off and on, and he had an amazing one,

so I robbed that, and that would probably be my dream dessert. So what about that makes it the best one? It's lemony. Proper lemony. That's what you look for in a lemon tart. Yeah, just lovely, lovely, sweet, crisp,

mountain of mouth pastry, just a lemon tart you cook it. It's just wobbling, just sort of, you know, got that give in it, just moist and soft and acidic. I like acid. Yes.

Acid desserts after them. I like acid, so I better not go there. I like acid desserts. After a meal, you know, I think it's quite fresh. I don't like heavy, heavy stuff. Lemon tart.

Cartmel is home of a very famous sticky toffee pudding. It is, it is, and everyone loves it. I don't, I like it, it's all right, but I wouldn't choose that. Don't turn them against you. 19 years of becoming one of them, and now don't slag off sticky toffee pudding. It's team cartmel.

Team cartmel. I might have the old sticky toffee pudding. The town's famous for it, right? It is, yeah, and I think you can buy it in Waitrose now. Can you? Yeah, it's the Cartmel sticky toffee pudding. You can buy in Waitrose, I believe, yeah.

So it's well famous. I'd have to plan my meal before it if I was gonna have something heavy like sticky toffee pudding. I'd have to have like a light made. I think it's a home thing, isn't it? Not really a restaurant thing. Yeah, definitely.

Definitely a home thing, you know, when you like really, really got the munchies, and oh, yeah, I'm gonna stick it off in Madonna, does it, apparently? Does she? Yeah, apparently. We don't know how sticky toffee pudding is. Yeah, I think she gets some shipped over.

From Cartmel? I believe so, yeah, yeah. She has some shipped over to her house. She has some shipped over to. V Madonna? V Madonna, yeah. Yeah, they have a very famous fan base. So I think she's the most famous of it a lot.

Are you sure it's not Maradona? Because that would make more sense to you. He's definitely had two made sticky toffee puddings recently. A few pies as well, by the way. Yeah, he went with the cocaine method of losing weight for a long time. Clever. Which rather than the sparkling water method.

Yeah, yeah. Do you wanna change your, do you wanna change your starter? I love, I love lemon tart. My mum used to buy the Marks and Spencer's Tato Citron for years, wasn't it, when I was there, and that's... They make some amazing tart sins and Marks and Spencer's.

Have you had the pineapple tart that they make? Ah, it's unbelievable. It's the most amazing thing. I mean, I didn't say pineapple tart because I didn't want to say I buy pie, my dessert would be a pineapple tart from Marks and Spencer's. It's something I can actually make, you know. But it's like a tart base.

It's got this sort of like really sort of nice pineapple type jam in it, in the bottom. Then a really lovely cream of pineapple. It's got quite a vanilla taste to it as well, really soft, almost like eating meringue it is. And then it's got a pineapple frosting icing on the top. Some full pineapple. And it is unbelievable.

But not all Marks and Spencer's do it. Okay, you've got to find the right ones. You've got to find the right ones. So the one in Chichester does it. Right, okay. So I know it does it. The one in Worthing doesn't, because I've got a house on the case,

and I've got a guy who's a bit of a shopping fiend. He just goes around shops and buys the most obscure things, and he found it, and he introduced it to me, and I'll be forever in his debt. But it was unbelievable. And yeah, you need to seek it out, because it's crazy good.

I don't want to go tart crazy. I'm going to try that pineapple tart. Yeah, I know you are. As soon as you do ask him to describe it, I think you're on board already. Describe it. I didn't actually google it. Might have been easier.

Marks and Spencer's stores, which stock pineapple tart? Yeah. That's on the search history. Are you having anything with this lemon tart, or is it on its own? Just on its own. Yeah, maybe just glazed on the top. So a little dusting of sugar, blowtorch,

a nice crispy sort of bent sugar texture on the top. I'm so happy. We've had chefs on before, but I'm so happy that someone's finally brought a blowtorch in, right? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, a good blowtorch about it.

None of these wishy-washy ones you find in Whole Foods, you know, one of the big sort of industrial ones. Yeah, like an industrial one, yeah. Proper one, you know. Scorch it. Right, well, let me read your menu back to you. See how you feel about it. You would like sparked in water,

poppy-dums, you would like a som tam papaya salad with singer beer. Yeah. You would like a moussaka as a main, from, what was it called? Venus Greek taverna. But you've cooked it at the Venus Greek taverna. I've cooked it at the Venus Greek taverna.

Well, I've cooked it everywhere. No, but so... I remember the recipe for the rest of my life. So the one on your dream menu is one that you've cooked at the Venus Greek taverna. Yeah, that's the one. Side dish. Gratin Dauphinot's Potatoes.

Drink, gin and tonic. Dessert, the Jean-Christophe Nivelli's Lemon Tatte. That's the one. Sounds delicious. Absolutely, amazing. Very nice journey as well. The whole, through that menu. We went to Thailand.

We went to Southampton. Yeah. We've been all over the place. Yeah, yeah. Thank you so much for coming in. So, it's been a joy. Thank you. There it is, the off menu of Simon Rogan.

A delicious off menu. D-lish. I like that. I like that it was lemon tart. And I thought, that's nice. It sounds delicious. It feels quite a simple dessert for a chef. And then he just blow torched it right at the end.

Blow torched it, but also, a little pineapple tart shout out. Oh, shout out for the pineapple tart, which I could see in your eyes. You're definitely going to go out and buy. It stole the show. It's not even on his menu. It's not even on his menu.

It's not even on his menu. It stole the show. It's not even on his menu. It stole the show for me. Did it? Oh, it stole the show. I don't really like pineapple. What?

That'll be a secret ingredient in the future episode, pineapple. That'll be a dark day for me. I'll be... I love pineapple. I love it in a tart. I love it in a Nando's wrap. Talking of secret ingredients,

Simon Rogan did not say courgetti. He did not say courgetti. Thank you, Simon. Imagine if he had. I would have been gobsmacked. He got the train from the Lake District this morning. I like to kick him out like Fred Flintstone. Bye-bye.

Kick him out like... Oh, OK. I see what you mean. Fred Flintstone throws out the dog. And then the... The Dino, doesn't he? Yeah. And then the dinosaur.

Is it a dinosaur? Yeah. Well, whatever happens, the animal... His pet kicks him out. Yeah. Sabertooth Tiger, maybe. Yeah.

And then he jumps back through the window and then it kicks him out. Yeah. And then he's bang on the door. I got confused because my go-to Flintstone's reference is the car with... Yes. No bottom.

Yep. And then it's him sliding down the dinosaur neck. And I'd probably go Sabertooth first. So, I was just thinking of the other two before I got to that one. Yeah. And the big old Brontosaurus ribs.

Big old Brontosaurus ribs, of course, at the drive-in. So, thank you, Simon Rogan. It was a wonderful menu. It was lovely to meet Simon Rogan if you like the sound of Simon and his food. If you've gone simonrogan.co.uk, there's more info on his restaurants there.

I'm ready to go to his London restaurant. I'm so excited. Yeah. Hit me up when you're doing it, Ed. I will, man. I'll hit you up. Big stuff. So, I will not drink.

Ever again. You don't think you'll drink ever again? That's it. I'm going out for a floor clearer right now. That is it. No way. Never, ever, ever. Quadruple gin.

Ginger beer. Angostura bitters. Eight ice cubes. In a pint glass. Okay. I'll drink that. Yeah. I also do a radio show on Sunday mornings

on Radio X with Matthew Crosby. And there's a podcast of that. James, who are you and what are you doing? My name is James Acaster. I'm hungover and I need to lay down. Thank you, James. So, thanks very much for listening. We will see you again

another time in the Dream Restaurant. And I'm hungry. Ever wondered about the world's greatest mysteries? Who built the pyramids? Where is Bigfoot? Is time travel possible? Oh no. From invisibility to whether aliens are living amongst us.

It's Microscope, the improvised comedy show from the award-winning John Kearns and me, Matthew and an all-round nice guy. Where is it available? I'll tell you. iTunes, Spotify, Acast and all the other places you get podcasts from. It's Microscope.

Hello. It's me, Amy Glendale. You might remember me from the best ever episode of Off Menu, where I spoke to my mum and asked her about seaweed on mashed potato and our relationship's never been the same since. And I am joined by... Me, Ian Smith.

I would probably go bread. I'm not going to spoil it in case... Get him on, James and Ed. But we're here sneaking into your podcast experience to tell you about a new podcast that we're doing. It's called Northern News. It's about all the news stories that we've missed out from the North

because, look, we're two Northerners. Sure, but we've been living in London for a long time. The news stories are funny. Quite a lot of them crimes. It's all kicking off. And that's a new podcast called Northern News. We'd love you to listen to. Maybe we'll get my mum on.

Get Glendale's mum on every episode. That's Northern News. When's it out, Ian? It's already out now, Amy. Is it? Yeah, get listening. There's probably a backlog. You've left it so late.