Oh What A Time... - #49 Blunders The Sequel (Part 1)
Episode Date: June 2, 2024It’s our first ever sequel episode and this week we’re looking at one of our favourite subjects: Blunders. We’ll be discussing a man often regarded as one of the worst US Presidents ever, Andrew... Johnson (not the striker or Elis’ old flatmate), the Swiss Army and how they accidentally invaded another country and how the Holy Roman Emperor Joseph II got soundly beaten on the battlefield. This week we found out that Tom literally once hit the headlines and that headline was ‘IDIOT’. We also heard our first Correspondence sting and there was plenty of examples of people getting stuck in coats. If you’d like to get in touch about that or anything else, you know what to do: hello@ohwhatatime.com If you're impatient and want both parts in one lovely go next time plus a whole lot more(!), why not treat yourself and become an Oh What A Time: FULL TIMER? In exchange for your £4.99 per month to support the show, you'll get: - two bonus episodes every month! - ad-free listening - episodes a week ahead of everyone else - And first dibs on any live show tickets Subscriptions are available via AnotherSlice, Apple and Spotify. For all the links head to: ohwhatatime.com You can also follow us on: X (formerly Twitter) at @ohwhatatimepod And Instagram at @ohwhatatimepod Aaannnd if you like it, why not drop us a review in your podcast app of choice? Thank you to Dan Evans for the artwork (idrawforfood.co.uk). And thank you for subscribing! We couldn't make the show without you! Chris, Elis and Tom x Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
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Visit continue.c.c.a. Hello and welcome to O'Wat a Time.
The History Podcasts It Tries to Decide at the Past was just a simpler time when he didn't have to lock your doors.
I'm Tom Crane. I'm Alice James.
And I'm Chris Gould. And this show we're looking at a new historical subject and today
we're going to be discussing on our first ever part two blunders. Blunders we're
back bigger, worse, better blunders.
Those of explosions sort of explosion sound effects if you say those things on the adverts
you know, explosions happening in the wrong part of the set.
You're going, ow!
Yeah, yeah, there's a blunder happening and now the set's on fire, everyone's got to be,
everyone's got to be evacuated. It's just a cock up. And I, in my role as presenter of
Channel Five Stars greatest ever movie blunders and like I said it in part one I'm perfectly placed
for this podcast. I've been a blunder merchant for some seven years now.
Yeah, did they seek you out because they they knew that you knew the way of the blunder?
Yeah, do you think that's what it was? They were like, who cocks up a lot? Yes.
Yes. But is he an authentic blunder presenter? Well, his email back was full of typos
and he said yes to the wrong date, so yes. This guy. And he said please see attachments, there
were no attachments. Yeah, and then he folded up the email and the subject was oops as
his etiquette and there wasn't even an attachment on that one either. It was the third email
where we got the attachment.
And he put the decimal point in the wrong place,
we're now paying him a pound an episode before.
So he's our guy, absolutely our guy.
I think this should be a really fun one.
I love the first episode we did on Blunders.
It's just fun hearing about people mucking up. In this episode if you want to know I'm going to be talking about the Swiss Army and then mucking up. What else is coming up? I will be talking
about a cock up led by the Holy Roman Emperor Joseph the Second. And I'll be
talking about Andrew Johnson consistently ranked one of the worst
presidents ever. Yeah. Are you shy of the odd blunderer Chris? What's it? Are you have you got it quite together? Are you where do you reckon you are? I really cut down my blunders. I can't imagine
Chris dropping a clanger. I don't feel like I'm a particularly blunderful person
but that might be because I'm friends with Ukraine and I see what
happens to you almost on a day-to-day basis and think. The blundermaster. I remembered a blunder that I had a th I was talking to my wife about it,
which is when I had an interview post-graduation at Radio Wales, Ellis knows about this, and
I went in to meet the head of Wales and as I went in, yesterday's underpants fell out
at the bottom of my jail. Oh my god. But in my defense, I was 23, that would never happen now.
Mortified.
Can we talk about, I don't think this has come up on the podcast before, the tent you bought
Glastonbury one year?
Yeah, that wasn't a good one either, that was a blunder, absolutely.
Shall I explain? Well, you guys know, I took what I thought was a tent to Glacombury but turned out what I bought was actually a pop-out wind break.
So I unfurled it for the first time at Glasbury Festival. It popped out and it only had two sides.
Sort of thing like a pensioner gets some rest from the sun in on a beach. Yeah, yeah. Not a tent.
Tom doesn't use social media very much but he did tweet that and it was trending
at number one worldwide. Was it? It was. Yeah. On the hashtag fuck my life. And one of
the British newspapers covered it. Under the headline, the headline was simply was Idiot.
Which isn't a headline just to say, uh, no, no, it's not good enough. Hey, why are we talking about you
the historic blunders in this section?
Because it's too recent.
It's two reasons.
That was 2013.
Oh, it's more so idiot.
That is so idiot.
But it's mad that I'm so respected now in, you know,
that I've just become this really together guy. Comedy is such an
enabler. Tom should be lying in the gutter or dead by right.
He's actually got a nice life and a nice house. Ellis really like to briefly tell
the story of me drawing my t-shirt on the way to the game. That's one of my early blunders.
You have you talked about this. I talked some about the other day. Okay fine. Right. Right. Right. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I've th. That's th. I've th. I've th. I should th. I should should th. I should th. That's th. That's th. That's th. I should should should should should th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I've th. I've th. I've the. I've the. I've to to to theeeeat to to to to to be to to to tom. I've to to to to to the. the. the. thed about this. Oh, how have we talked about it? I told some about that the other day. Okay, fine.
Right.
Right.
You're awful.
Okay, now we've been threatening to do this for a few weeks.
Let's actually do it for real.
Do you want some correspondence stings sent in by the listeners?
I would love that. full orchestral arrangement. Okay. Ellis are you embodying the 90s music executive?
Oh yeah. Okay, here we go. Let's sort of this. We'll take you back in time, journey with O'Water Time.
We'll guess if days of your, had less to smile more than yours and not.
There we go.
Don't you call the lyrics there, we will make you chuckle.
Ha ha, we'll make you chuckle, Ellis, Tom and Chris.
We'll take you back in time. Journey with O'Watter Time.
There we'll take you back in time. Journynynynynynynynynynyny, journey journey, journey, journey, journey, journey, journey, journey, journey, journey, journey, journey, journey, journey, journey, journeyle. Ha ha, we'll make you chuckle, Ellis, Tom and Chris.
We'll take you back in time, journey with O'Water Time.
We'll guess if days of yore had less to smile for than yours and mine.
Incredible!
That is insane.
That's how you'd end to Hollywood film. It's amazing. It's amazing. Is it safe to assume th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th as to assume to assume to assume to assume to assume to assume to assume to assume to assume to assume to assume to assume to assume to assume to assume to assume that to assume to assume to assume to assume to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tho. thi. their their their their their their their their their thooooo. their thooo. thoo. thi. th it safe to assume though that he hasn't... What, employed a hundred-piece orchestra?
Yes.
No.
Because thank you if you have.
That must have been done electronically.
But it's absolutely amazing, isn't it?
The quality of it's fantastic.
Yeah, yeah.
Who knows? It might be.
Here's what I like to imagine.
That Brandon has gathered 500 of our listeners together. Yeah, yeah. And hired an Abbey. Exactly.
You sent out a tweet say, who's up for this?
And those people are going, am I?
And it turns out, they're all incredible.
I can sing.
I can sing.
I can sing.
Yeah, it's amazing.
I'd love to be able to make stuff like that.
I have absolutely no idea how you can't to to to to to to to to to to to to to make stuff like that. I have absolutely no idea how you can possibly do it, but that is a thing that I'd be a joy to have those sort of skills.
Yeah, so it's like magic. Right, I'm going to be in 90s A&R man now.
Sorry, Brandon, mate. Coral music is out. What it doesn't sound like Oasis, I'm not signing it.
Sorry Brandon, fuck off.
Take your soprano's.
Yeah, get out.
Get it.
Brandon, thank you for telling you that.
That is genuinely mind-glowing.
If anyone else has a jingle they want to send to us, please do. It can just be a little ditty you sing into your voice note. As you say, we don't, you don't need
to get the London Philharmonic involved. It can be whatever you, whatever you want it to be.
Right, let's crack into a bit of correspondence after that fantastic intro. Gemma McDonald has got in contact with the title, the title. It's a the the the tod. tod. tod. tod. tod. tod. tod. J. Jomen. Jomen. J. Jomen. Jomentod. J. Jomentod. Joma. Joma. tho, you tho, you tho, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't to to to to to to to to to to to to tho, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you tod. today. today. today, you don't today, you today, you don't to to to to to to to to to to to to the tho, youat Conundrums and Thatch of a Ninja Turtle Snatcher. Yeah, that's a great email title.
Hi guys, firstly, Tom's story about his son being stuck in his coat was way too relatable.
Oh yeah, that's my son Charlie getting stuck in the zip and asking me,
am I going to be in this forever. I got on the train and the zip would not budge. Immediately panic set in and I couldn't breathe. I tugged and
tugged on the zip until it got to my solar plexus. At this point I decided to
change tact and proceeded to wiggle my way out like a caterpillar emerging
from a cacu. As I stepped out of my super dry crystalrysalis, I was met with a round of applause from fellow commuters. Of course, as soon as I got to work, I changed my start and finished time so I'll
never be on the same train again. First, let's get to that, thoughts on that, wriggling out like a
caterpillar. I'm imagining, is that lying of panic and being in public and also being late.
Yes. Because you think this is I just have to make, I just have to solve this now. I'm
sure that she was at home and it was a sort of Saturday afternoon
and she was just watching the tele. She would eventually pull the zip down in
the sort of in the traditional fashion but because she's on a train she saw
this is it I'm in this I'm in this I'm in this I'm in this I'm in this I'm in this I'm in this I'm in this I'm in this to regulate I'm the the the the the the the the the window the window the window the window the window the window the window the window the window the window the window the the window the window the window the window the window the the the the the the the the the the the the the window the window the the the window the window the window to to to to the window the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tree I twea' to to to to to to to to to to twee twee twee twee twee twee the theustrophobic even if I'm hungry I have to regulate my breathing I have to really control the panic I
know it's just my feet that sounds insane but I at that point I just can't get
them off and I'm panicking yeah I don't know why I know what you mean it has a
weird sort of trapping feeling anyway to the Maggie Thatcher section of this the teagin' to the the the the the the thagre's thagre's thagre's thagre's thagre's thagre second second second second second second second second second second second second second thagre's thagre second thagre second to to m mn. to to to to to to to to to to make make make make make make make. to me me me me mea. to mea. to mea. to me me mea. to to to to to to to to to to to to to me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me. to to to to the to the to the the the to the th. I I. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm. I'm to. I'm. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not you neglected to mention, I didn't know this, the worst thing she ever did.
Making the teenage mutant Ninja Turtles change their name.
Yes, I grew up in a Welsh Valley mining town, but teenage mutant hero turtles is far worse
than the decimation communities that we are still dealing with today.
Loving the pod, keep up the good work and may your zips always always their their their thipifulifulifulifulifulifuliful beautiful wips, I I I I I I thi, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I up the good work and may your zips always be effortless. I didn't know that was that shot. Well, we did we did cover this in the heroes episode. We covered this up for the
O what a time full-time is that bonus episode on heroes. One of the heroes was teenage mutant hero turtles slash ninja turtles. Yeah we did. And it was That's thatch who changed it. I didn't know that it was th. It was. It was. It was. It was th. It was thather. It was thather. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was thathatcher. It was thathature. I thathature. I thathature. I thathatthatthatthatthatt. I was thathattcher. I didn't. I didn't thathea. I was tho. I tho. I was. I was I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was tho. I thi. I thi. We. We. We. I thi. We're the the the the thathea. We. We. I thathea. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the th. I did. I th. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did thatch. I did. Did th. I did. I did. Did thatch. I did. I did. I did. I did. I bigger fish to fry. Or amphibians.
That speaks to a time of panic,
doesn't it, to be honest?
That really does speak to a time of like,
there's so much of that sort of stuff,
but ninjas being taught, turned to hero,
rap music being the things being the thing that was ruining people.
That period really had the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that period really had so much sort of social panic about
these things, isn't it? Well it just says on the Wikipedia page, in the United
Kingdom and some other European regions, the franchise was renamed Teenage Mutant
Hero Turtles for the violent connotations of the word Ninja. I remember this
because I remember finding out that they were known as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
originally. And you know, that's that they were known as teenage mutant ninja turtles originally. And that's ridiculous.
I, I, I, just the word ninja doesn't make me immediately violent.
Ninjas have quite a high degree of honor.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah. It's not like, yeah.
Yeah.
Teenage mutant hooligan turtles.
No. Exactly, yeah, yeah. They have a moral code.
Little Stone Island bad on the shell.
Teenage mutant gacked up,
bloke in a weatherspoons turtles.
Oh, that's how they're known in the US.
Yeah, in the UK, they're teenage mutant,
teenage mutant, hero turtles actually.
Oh, right.
But they're the teenage-noutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutoutout they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the teenage mutant gacked up bloke in a Wetherspoons turtles in the UK? Yeah yeah and in and in some of you
are far more reggie. They're far more edgy. So Gemma thank you very much for
getting in contact. Sorry about your co-predicament. I hope that never happens
again if you want to gettouch with the show.
You can email us and hello at O'Watertime.com and you can follow us on Instagram and Twitter at
Oh What a Time pod.
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This will be the day.
So on today's episode, I'm going to be talking to you about the Swiss Army.
They've made some incredible blunders. It blew my mind.
The Swiss Army and they're repeated blunders. I'm going to be talking about a Holy Roman
Emperor Joseph the Second. All right I'll tell you now about Andrew Johnson, the 17th President of the
United States, a man who... Great Stryker. Oh yeah, was a great striker. That year he had a palace.
Yeah, mad.
Palace.
Yeah.
But people only remember his sort of political word.
Because he had a great year at Palace around the time I was living with a man called Andrew Johnson.
And yes, much of the day was a right laugh.
He wasn't Andrew Johnson as well, wasn't he? He wasn't a Hedy Johnson. It's like there was, the day was a right laugh. He was an Andrew Johnson as well wasn't he? He wasn't
Andy Johnson. It's like there was the Italian football of Nesta, my mother is
called Nesta watching Euro 2004. Every time we got the ball it was just
fundling because it suddenly looks like my mother is playing elite level football for a two.
My brother is called Stiginia Bionave, which is a.
So in...
I'm 94 whenever we look to play.
A recent survey amongst historians ranked Andrew Johnson the third worst president behind
James Buchanan and a certain Donald J. Trump. He's always
down the bottom, Andrew Johnson. So how did he become president in the first
place? It's an interesting story. Abraham Lincoln changed his running
mate for the 1864 presidential election. His first vice president, Hannibal
Hamlin was a sober, northerner from New England, a governor of, a former governor of
Maine, a senator and a diplomat,
but with a civil war reaching its final stages, Lincoln needed someone who could reunite
the country and so he picked the only southern senator who had remained loyal to the union
at the outbreak of the war. Andrew Johnson of Tennessee, Crystal Palace and a brief
spell at Everton. My flop, mate.
A few caps for England but not managed.
Yeah.
Yeah, so Andrew Johnson,
becoming getting selected as vice president for the campaign,
was a historical blunder of incredible proportions.
Perfect. Sometime late in February, 1865.
A week before the
inauguration day on 4th of March, Johnson began boozing. To cover his
intoxication, to cover his intoxication. To cover his toxin, to cover his toxin, to the, to be,
know that he was ill and confined to his rooms in Nashville. The night before the
inauguration, Johnson attended a lavish party in Washington, D.C.,
where he was seen getting absolutely smashed.
This is the night before the inauguration.
According to witnesses, Johnson drank many glasses of whiskey and the wine flowed as
freely as the oratory.
The result was, and I quote, a thunderous hangover.
Oh my gosh. Oh dear. I, I, I, I mean, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, getting, getting, getting, getting, getting, getting, getting, getting, getting, getting, getting, getting, getting, getting, getting, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, to to to thin, thin, thin, theeeat, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, I quote, a thunderous hangover. Oh my God.
Oh dear.
I mean, if I have anything big to do, like the Palladium last week, Klang, I will not
drink for like a week to 10 days before, I will cut it right out.
The idea of being absolutely smashed the night before a big thing.
Yes.
The worst.
The worst.
Like I have like an undue panic if I need to be up early the next day and the idea of having
a hangover at that point.
I just, I've, the older I've got, I just can't, I can't do it.
If I've got an early start, I often can't sleep because I'm so worried I'll sleep through my alarm.
Yeah, exactly.
But also, he didn't have alarms back then, probably, he didn't have an iPhone, did he, on his bedside table?
No, no, no, no. To get him up for that.
He had, he had, he had, Dawn, did he?
Or did he? Or did he?
Did he? His personal assistant dawn? to? He? where the groom had been out getting wasted
until like four in the morning and during the wedding had to leave to go
outside of the church to be sick and come back. Wow. Okay. It's Andrew Johnson
levels of preparation. He's making memories. So he's getting absolutely, he's got
absolutely smashed the night before the
inauguration. He wakes up on the morning of the 4th of March. It's an inauguration day.
His appointment of the capital is set for noon. By all accounts, Johnson could barely
function. To make matters worse, he thought, look I'm really rough.
What's going to help here? Hair of the dog. So he was seen ordering several
glasses of neat whiskey, which he downed in the minutes before he was due to give his first address as vice president. You have a bottle of madri, you
that's hair with a dog or a bloody merry. Or you go to a McDonald's drive-thruy.
That's what you do and you double up on the hash browns. That's what you do and you're fine.
Oh dear. So on the day of the inauguration, he's drunk from the night before, he's topped
up his drink that morning. He had a reputation for being a hard drink and was known to be able
to handle his liquor, but with the extra booze in his system that day, he was completely
sozzled. He took to the podium and began to speak, and it was not long before senators on the Republican side began to hang their heads, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to hang to hang their, their, their, to hang their, their, to be, their, their, their, their, their, and to be to be to be to be to be their, their, and their, and he, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he. their, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he... their, and their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their theyy. Hea, theymea, theyananananan. their their their their their, their, their, their seats, look at each other with significance as much to say, is he crazy or what? One account has it that the speech was so incoherent that not even
the most fastidious of shorthand writers could get it down on the page. The nearest anyone got,
a version was published by the Buffalo Courier, the hit they added in the Hicks. I'm gonna read a bit of it. I'm the hiccougheciferable. The Hicks. He's hiccuping throughout, is he? Amazing.
Christ. Yeah, fell sissons, this is most,
a suspicious moment that my existence
nimburs. Like, he's a mess of a man at the inauguration. You know, like, when Boris Johnson had those parties and claimed he hadn't, imagine him
at the stand defending from the day after hiccuping throughout, claiming there was no
wine fridge?
Biden's campaign at the last American presidential election was basically, it was based around
let the adults back in the White House. Yeah, exactly. And that's what Kiostarlemers sort of, that's, the, uh of of of of of, uh of, uh of, uh of, uh of, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, that, that, that, that, that, that, uh, uh, that, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, that, that, that, that, uh, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, uh, that, uh, uh, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, uh, that's, that's, uh, that's, that's, the, the, that, the, the, the, th. th. around let's let the adults back in the White
House. Yeah exactly. And that's what Kia Stalmers sort of that's how he's tried
to change the Labour Party he's like looking at the Tories like let's let the
serious people govern for a change, time for a change. If on his inauguration
the vice president the president was pissed. Yeah.
And like cartoon pissed, like hiccuping pissed.
Yeah. Oh, cricky. I don't think I've ever been so pissed that I've been hiccuping.
I don't think that's a level of that's I've never reached.
Where were you? I was hiccuping in the Uber and I was really worried it would affect my rating. Ellis, do you want to briefly tell a story of you in a black cab when you are feeling
nauseous?
Let's just get it out the way because it's incredible.
Are you sure?
It is grim.
Yeah.
Right.
Well, it's up to you to choose the language that you use.
All right, grim story alert, okay.
If you get a bit queasy at Grimm's stories involving a bit of sick,
then, you know, skip ahead a minute. I was on a date at Cardiff University when I was in
my first year and I was very, very nervous. We went to a Goths Club called Metros and
they were serving vodka dulies, which was a kind of very thick toffee
and caramel based vodka drink and there was some daft off I mean this is like
over 20 years it was like a 50 P for a triple or something ridiculous so I thought
I'll have I'll get them in because they will make me look like fun and B it will
it will take the edge off my nerves so I had many many, many vodka dullies triples and I was
absolutely hammered, right? So she said, let's get a cab back to our holes. I was like, yeah,
that's a good idea. So we're in the car and we're driving back and I thought, okay, I feel
queasy, I feel sick, but I thought I can handle this, I am in control. So I wound on the window
and I was sick out the window. All the time I'm conducting a conversation with a taxi driver
about Sam Haman's tenure at Cardiff City. It's going really well, okay? And then I think, you know,
he's talking about Sam Haman's record at Wimbledon, and I'm thinking to myself, that's fine, I can have this conversation.
I happen to know quite a lot about Sam Haman's time at Wimbledon. Oh, I'm going to be sick again,
out of the window it goes. He's now... The date isn't the true. No, no, she's in the front seat, FAA Cup in 1988, I can comfortably discuss that. So we're discussing Laurie
Sanchez, the crazy gang, John Fashneu, all that, oh I'm feeling sick again, out of
the window it goes. Suddenly there's, he has no idea you're being sick. Well
suddenly there's a lot of screaming and a lot of shouting and the cab has, the
cab has come to a stop and I could not work out why. And I said all I can hear, it's all I remember, is this block queen.
What the fuck you doing meat?
Why the fuck what did you ask me to pull over you fucking prick?
What the fuck you do?
I can't, I can't fucking work for the rest of the night, don't you fucking tick it! And I, and I look, and I was like, what, what? I haven't done any wrong. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, I, I, I, I, what, I, I, what, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, I, th. What, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. to, to, to, what, what, what, what, to, what, what, to, think I think Wimbledon deserved to win that final and I realized I hadn't won the window down.
Oh god. So it was bouncing off the unwound window.
And onto me, I went to the footwell, onto this.
And he went absolutely ballistic, understandably.
So then the girl I was on the date with must have, she must have up ten quid from somewhere
and said, does that cover it?
He said, you're fucking kidding.
And then we walked home and it was bad.
So when she decided not to see you again, did you say, was it because I was talking
about Sam Haman, Cardiff's owner for 45 minutes, or was it because I was sick down my own
front because I thought the window. Which of the two blunders was it? I think it all
became, it all coalesced into one big enormal blunder.
The date said it wasn't it wasn't the sick on the window it was the fact you were
championing a longball style of football.
That I can never get behind.
Synonymous with the crazy game.
Yeah, well back to Andrew Johnson, right?
The journalist, contemporary journalist at the time, all agreed, it was almost unanimous,
that he was incapable of being president.
And it's worth bearing in mind that he's vice president. So one twist of fate and he would become president.
Hey, what the chance of a president getting assassinated.
You know, who knows?
One New York newspaper warned after inauguration that if this Anchu Johnson should become
Lincoln successor, the decline and fall of the American Republic would smell as rank in
history as that of atrocious monsters in human shape as Roman Emperor's Nero and Caligula.
Wow, the press talking about someone like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
So, President Lincoln had made an awful blunder in picking his man to be number two.
And then 42 days after that inauguration ceremony, Lincoln was famously assassinated at Ford's Theatre,
the 15th of April, 1865.
And Johnson was to have been assassinated to that day as part of a conspiracy to incapacitate
the entire senior rank of the American government.
The would-be assassin of the vice president was George Atzerot, a German immigrant.
And Atzerot had rented the room above Johnson's at Washington Hotel, and was instructed by John Wilkes-Boothoo-A, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the had rented the room above Johnson's at Kirkwood House at Washington Hotel and was instructed by John Wilkes Booth, Lincoln's assassin, to attack
the vice president at 1015 p.m. precisely, but fortunately for Johnson, at Zerot got cold feet
and instead installed himself at the hotel bar and got absolutely smashed as well.
Was everybody smashed back in 1865? Was anyone sober?
Where he ran into Andrew Johnson and they had a great night out to give it.
So the freaks have stormed the White House. Yeah, the drunks are in the White House.
Wow. Okay. Yeah, so...
Yeah, Atterot, so he bottled it. He's courage gone. He wandered the
the streets of Washington, but he dumped the murder weapon, which was the would-be murder weapon, which was a knife into a gutter, and that would have been that,
but Adderot had basically made too many inquiries about where the vice president was going to be.
And also he let things slip when he was absolutely smashed, and then someone spotted him
dumping the knife. And the police entered that Zoroot's room at the Kirkwood, they found a revolver, a bowie knife, a bank book belonging to John Wilkes Booth and basically so much proof that he was involved in the conspiracy on the
12th of April.
So he was tried and eventually executed.
I'm going to use the phrase, worst assassin ever.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. So you are turning up at the venue, you're not even leaving the venue, you're, the venue, the venue, the venue, the venue, the venue, the venue, the venue, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, to, the, the, the, the, to, the, the, to.. the, toe, the, the too, told. the too, too, too, too, too, somea, somea, somea, somea, somea, somea, some, some, some, some, some, some, some. to. to. to. to. the to. So. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttto. to. You're drunkenly talking to people about the guy you were going to kill and where he was
the whole night, then you're going home and your house is full of evidence.
If you go to assassin school, you don't expect the first lesson to be, okay, if you're going to kill someone,
don't spend the whole night in the hotel barrtle the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel thoahahahahahahahahahahs getting thoeat. the hotel the hotel th th th th th th th th th their their their their their their. Don't the whole. Don't the whole. Don't the whole. Don't the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel the hotel then so to the horror of the Yankee establishment,
Johnson was elevated to the presidency after Lincoln died. And as almost as soon as he took
office, his detractors began impeachment proceedings. Those rumbled on until 1868 when Johnson was
finally acquitted by a single vote, his term ended in disgrace in 1869 because after the civil war,
which was largely about the emancipation
of enslaved people, he didn't want to give, read slaves, citizenships or have their rights
protected by law, which was kind of the whole point of the civil war.
So in the rankings, Andrew Johnson remains at the bottom of the pile alongside
James Buchanan and of course Donald Trump as well.
But yeah, Andrew Johnson,
great strike of us, he had a great spell of Palis in the Rian Dowie.
Good flat mate, lovely bloke. Good flag, good flag, lovely bloc. Terrible, terrible President.
Wow. Well, that's the end of part one. If you want to listen to part two,
it'll be available tomorrow.
If you want to listen to it all in one lovely big chunk,
you can become a no water time subscriber,
an all the time full timer,
and all of the details are on another slice.com.
Anyway, if not, see you tomorrow.
Goodbye. I the the to the to the
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