Oh What A Time... - #62 Humiliation (Part 1)

Episode Date: August 18, 2024

This week we’re dwelling in the podcasting pits of utter humiliation. We’ll be finally looking at the specifics of the infamous stocks and pillory, shaved heads as a punishment, the dunces cap and the humiliating act of ‘white shirting’. Humiliation is of course the specialist subject of Tom Craine who once lost a kebab stained shirt to the roof of a cab. Do you have any humiliating stories to share? And also, what can you offer to the museum of failure? Let us know here: [e-mail] If you're impatient and want both parts in one lovely go next time plus a whole lot more(!), why not treat yourself and become an Oh What A Time: FULL TIMER? In exchange for your £4.99 per month to support the show, you'll get: - two bonus episodes every month! - ad-free listening - episodes a week ahead of everyone else - And first dibs on any live show tickets Subscriptions are available via AnotherSlice, Apple and Spotify. For all the links head to: ohwhatatime.com You can also follow us on:  X (formerly Twitter) at @ohwhatatimepod And Instagram at @ohwhatatimepod Aaannnd if you like it, why not drop us a review in your podcast app of choice? Thank you to Dan Evans for the artwork (idrawforfood.co.uk). Chris, Elis and Tom x Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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There are hundreds of programs and services available at the Y. See what you can achieve at YMCAGTA.org. This will be the day. Hello and welcome to Oh What a Time, the podcast that tries to ask, was the past really worth living when you were in an age that didn't have small-sided football matches, five-side leagues, apps where you could be a ringer to turn up to take part in a football match with complete strangers. Have you heard of this? What? What is this sorry? What, like Tinder for football matches? It's like a tinder for football matches? Have you th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th that that that that th that that that that that that that that thi thi that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th th th th th th try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try. try try try try try try try try try try try try try try turn up to take part in a football match with complete strangers. Have you heard of this? What? What? What? Like, Tinder for football matches? It's like a Tinder for football matches?

It's like a Tinder for football matches? Have you not heard of this? No? You sign up and you sign up and you try up and you tell up. A team would be like, the team. the team. the tied. I'm playing. I playing. I play. I play. I play. to play. their. their. their. their. thea. thea. thea. thea. toyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyn. their. their. their. tine. tine. tine. t. thea. t. t. t. tine. tine. tine. tine. tine. tine. tod. tine. tod. tode. tode. tod. tod. tod. tod. tod. tod. tod. tod. tod. t. You. t. t. You. You. t. You. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. to. t. t. t. today. today. tend. to. ti. tend. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. t. tturned out. I'm in my full kit. I imagine he sat on the bed wearing the gloves and the full kit waiting for the phone to be. Pulled on the hard shoulder of the M25 fully dressed, just waiting. Where am I going? Friend of mine, he was running an 11-a-side team, a Sunday League team and they needed a goalkeeper, the goal he'd pulled out or something, it was injured. And this bloke said, I'll play, but I should, I've got to tell you, I'm really good, so I will need to pay it. So they'd have whipped him 50 quid. And was he good?

Was he good? He turned up in those old-fashioned tracksuit bottom. He didn't see anymore. That you haven't been able to wear them for some reason. Remember that? About about 10 years ago for some inexplicable reason the Crystal Palace Keeper in the Premiership was wearing a sort of jogger you'd worn in 1986. Yeah, he was wearing them and work shoes. And obviously, it was wha-kind of shoes playing on grass. And it was wet because it was, you know, it was like Cardiff in February. That man was John Luca Buffon.

No, the absolute opposite. He kept falling over because he's wearing his work shoes. No grit. They lost like 10 one. With this guy, he's got 50 quid in his back pocket. Having lied about how good he was. That's incredible. I I the the their. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was, I was, I was, I was. I was. I was, I was, I was, I was, thia. thia. thi. thi. thi. th. It was, th. It was, th. It was, th. It was, th. It was, th. It was, th. It was, th. It. It was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. t. t. t. t. It was t. It was like, toda. It was like, toda. It was like, toda. It was like, today. It was like, today. It was like, today. tid in his back pocket. I've been lied about how good he was. That's incredible. I have a repeated dream, which is, you know, most people have this dream

where you imagine that you're naked and you're playing football for your country. It's like a type of dream that people have. I have a dream that I'm sat in the stands at an England game. I've had this dream so many times and the manager has realized that they don't have enough substitutes and there's been an injury about 82 minutes in and he looks around and for some reason he points at me and I come down and I'm wearing the kid. To touch on what you just said there I look down and I'm wearing work shoes and that is the dream and I have to play an international

against like Spain or Brazil whatever it is that night and I. and I. and I. and I. and I. and I. and I. and I. and I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I the th. And I th. And I th. And I the th. And I'm the th. And I'm the the th. And I'm the th. And I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their the. And I the. And I the. And I'm the. And I'm the. And I'm thean. thea. thea. thea. And thea. thea. And there. thea. And there's the. And there. And there. And the. And that is the dream and I have to play an international against like Spain or Brazil, whatever it is that night and I'm wearing sick formers work shoes with a bit of a point at the end as well and it's really stressful. With absolutely zero grip on no grip. No grip. I'm not dreaming of when you're asleep. I have that no lie I'd say I have that five or six times a year. Right, okay. For some reason, often when I'm when I'm when I'm when I I'm when I I I I I I I'm that as I'm that as I'm that as a that as a that as a that as a that as a that as a that as a that as a that as a that as a that as a that as a that as a day that as a day that as a day as a day that as a day that as a day as a day as a day as a day as a day as a day as a that as a that as a that as a that as a that as a that as a that as a that as a that as a that as a that as a that as a th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm the. I'm theateateateat. I'm thi. I'm theat. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm that five or six times a year. Right, okay. For some reason, often when I'm walking to football matches, or when I'm driving in football matches, I have that as a daydream. Right.

And in the daydream, I'm always rubbish. And about halfway through I think, hang on, this is a daydream, I'm controlling this. In the second half, you're not bad. Because you are realistic. You just about hold your own. Yeah, I don't give the ball away but you know I don't I don't do anything particularly progressive. You just don't notice I'm there really. Make a couple of tackles. And I always say to myself, hang on, come on man, man, score a hat trick. You're awake. I think that's really sweet, Ellis. You can do it. You're in charge here. Come on man. Yeah. I. the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. the the th. tho. the the the the th's really sweet, Ellen. You can do it. You're in control. You're in charge here. Come on, man.

Yeah, I always, the recurring dream I have is that I'm threw in on goal for England, one on one with a keeper. And I decide to take a shot from like 35 yards when I'm clear on goal and I balloon it about 10 yards over the crossbar. That's what years of watching watch tham of wa tham of wa tham of wa tham tham tham that's that's that's tham that's tham that's that's th and thi that's that's thi thi that's thi thoom thoom that's thoombs that's that's th. th. thoombs. that's that's that's thoomoom. that's. that's. that's. that. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. th. the th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. I the th. I the the the the the th. I the the the the th. I th. I the. I the. I the. the. theering. theering. theering. theeering. theeeeeeeeeering. theeeeeeeering. thkers who panic when they're one-on-one and have no idea what to do. That's what I've seen so often. Yeah, exactly, exactly. That's what you think football is. That for me is a goal.

If you hit the stands, it should be at least half a goal, isn't it, and I turn and run and cheer with my hands and ears. Where Stam have been pushing for the Champions League if it was for that? You know you're a bad team or you support a bad team when you're trying to give up with those rules. We're like, well why don't we make a throw in in there, half half a cold? That would be that would be something wouldn't it? Before we crack on let me tell you my one little idea for a new football rule I think there should be one player on each team who wears everyone wears black boots apart from one player who wears colorful boots and their goals are worth double that's my idea. Are they like the designated good players? Yeah exactly so you have like you can choose your striker

your striker who center field or whatever and they've got colorful boots and if they score it's worth worth worth worth worth worth worth worth worth worth worth worth worth worth worth worth worth th. the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to their their. to be to be to be to be. to be. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their to be to be to be their to be to be their their to be to be th. to be tho. to be to be thooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. to. to. to. to. their their their theker who's sent to midfield or whatever happens and they've got colorful boots and if they score it's worth double. That's my idea. Colorful work shoes and you have to pay them 50 quids? That's even better, yeah. The more inappropriate the shoes, blogs, you get a hat trick every time you score. But no genuinely, colorful boot, one player. Colorful boot, one player.. If the the the their their their their their colorful colorful colorful colorful colorful colorful colorful colorful colorful colorful colorful colorful colorful colorful colorful colorful colorful colorful colorful their one, one, one, one, their one, their one, colorful colorful colorful colorful colorful colorful. their one, one, one, one, one, colorful their one, colorful their their. their, colorful their. their. their. their. their. th. Color. Color. Color. Color. Color. Color. Color. Color. Color. Color. Color. Color. Color. Color. Color, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, colorful, one, one, one, one, one, one, colorful, one, one, one, one, colorful, one, one, one, one, colorful. their. their. Co. Co. Co. Co. Co. Co. Co. Coo. C. C. C. C. C. their. C. their. their. their. Colorful. Colorful. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Colorful. their. their. Color their. Color their. Color the the be. When he gets it, outside of the box, 89th minute, you're one nil down. Can they do it? Imagine if Arson Vengo's now at FIFA was listening to this podcast. If he was no what a time full-timer, subscriber, next time he's in, he's in Zurik

or whatever it is and he's like, I've had a couple of ideas in regards to, uh, color of the boots. It comes in, everyone. to the game and I hate it across the world. Right, shall we crack on to some history. We've got a good subject today actually, this really fun one actually. This week it is humiliations. So think about Chris Golf through on Gold in his dream. Think about the first half of Ellis James' football match in his daydream. Me with my work shoes playing for England. Humiliation. So today, I'm going to be talking to you about the stocks and the pillaries, the basically the punishment of having your head or legs trapped in one or the other in medieval England. I'll be talking about community humiliations in South Wales. And I'll be talking about the shaved head as a punishment. Should we just talk quickly about the greatest humiliation

with each ever faced? I had to think about this this morning. And mine was definitely, I went for a meal in Manchester with my parents. And I bought a new shirt for the occasion. And I was sat in kind of in the corner of the restaurant with my back facing the whole restaurant and the waitress came over tapped me on the shoulder and said sir the the label like the the shop tag is hanging off of your collar and I reached behind pulled it off and snapped it off and the whole restaurant went

way I was like, and I turned around and gave the thumbs up. Whee! There's a big clap. Oh my God. This is embarrassing. Let me tell you a brief shirt story once. I was once, when I was 18, end of a night out, mid-December. I'm wearing a shirt for the reason, no jacket, what an idiot.

That's what happens when you're 18. It's a new shirt, it's got roses, stitched into the wrist. I've saved up to it using my money for my work in the bakery at Safeway. We've got this new shirt, I love it. Anyway, on the way home, I eat a kebab down my front. Oh, no, what an absolute stain. I've some reason.

I must have have have have have have been hhahaha. I'm to have been to be to be to be the to try and get the kebab off. I pop the shirt on top of the taxi that I'm about to get in just for a second to find my wallet and the tax, someone else gets in, the taxi drives off with my shirt on it. It goes around the corner. I'm now stood in the center of bar, like mid-December, topless in a queue of like a hundred people on a way home from a night out just completely top. For many people that for many people that would be their best humiliation story. I think it's about the amount of times you've been humiliated. That is essentially for you an album track a deep cut. It doesn't even come into the top 100. I've never even heard that story before. I only remembered it because you mentioned your shirt story.

Amazingly, right? I've known Tom for 20 years. I've never heard that story. It's just an endless well. He's got such an interesting back catalog of humiliation. It's unbelievable. Yeah. Your autobiography would be the world's saddest book. But what a bestseller! I think it'd be initially quite funny. Then after about a couple of chapters you'd start to feel a bit depressed. You're like, actually, this guy really has problems. Yeah. What about you? Well, obviously some terrible gigs doing stand-up. I remember to take my friend Katie and she'd never seen me before and I drove her to Bristol and I gave her the big I am on the way to the show and the show was unplayable and I remember a block at the back stood up as I was sort of, oh my god,

fumbling, mumbling my way through it and he kept shouting, you have lost control! You have lost control! That's such a great heckle as well, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. It's so perfect, it's a perfect observation of what is happening. It was, and it was true. It's cut stee. And I just remember thinking, well what do I say? I can't, do I agree with him, which is because it's true? Or do I, do I, do I dispute it, which would make me look mad? Do I try and to to to to to dispute to dispute to dispute to dispute to dispute to dispute to dispute to dispute to dispute to dispute to dispute to dispute to dispute to dispute to dispute to dispute to dispute to dispute to dispute to dispute to dispute to dispute to dispute to dispute to dispute to dispute it, to dispute it, to dispute it, to dispute it, to make to make to make to make to dispute it, which would make, to dispute it, to dispute it, dispute it, dispute it, dispute it, dispute it, dispute it, dispute it, dispute it, dispute it, dispute it, dispute it, which would make me, dispute it, to make me, to make me, to make me, to make me, to make me, to make me, to make me, to make me, to make me, to make me, to make me to make me, to make me, to make me, to make me, to make me, to make me, to make me, to make me, to make me, to make me, to make me, to make me, to make me, to make me, to make me, to make me, to make me, to make me,. Do I ignore it? Which also makes me look mad. Yeah. So I try and laugh it off. And yeah, he just kept saying you have lost control. You need to end this. You've

lost control. And then I remember I was comparing so I had to keep going back on. And obviously it was bad. He kept telling me I'd lost control. It was, you know, he was right. And then we, we drove back, she didn't say a word. Really? For about, for like 50 minutes. Because where do you begin with that? Yeah. And, uh, well you say that, but I still think it's slightly on her to put on a brave face and say it was a tough audience. I really like your stuff. But also like I didn't I didn't say it like I just I said right get in the car get in the car wow so that's today subject is humiliation there should be a really fun one before we get into that the humiliation of the past and not our own personal humiliation shall we do a little bit of correspondence do you guys fancy that oh yes yes now the what I'm going to read today is a real blast from the past. This is, I love this. This is from

Luke Finnerty. And the headline on the email is, lips to teet. LSD ought to quickly explain what lips to teet is for any new listeners that might have joined us latter. Because otherwise this will sound insane. I can't quite remember the context of it. It was which animal would you like to suckle, wasn't it? Wasn't it who first went lips to teet? That's it, exactly. Before they bottled milk before they squirted it into a tub and then gave it to the village. Who was the first person just to lipstick teet? I bet you was a bloke trying to impress a woman.

Yeah, oh you won't go out with me, watch this. And then we discussed if you had to go lips to teat with any animal, what animal would you go with simply to try what their milk was like? Yeah. It was a weird format point and strangely it stuck around for about six or seven weeks and it's now back. Luke Finity says, Hello again Ellis, Tom and Chris exclamation mark. It's Luke here again. I just wanted to complete a full circle upon hearing about the Lister who wanted to try platypus milk. Now did you know that the platypus is one of the only mammals that can produce milk and lay eggs? Meaning that Tom will be delighted to hear he can actually enjoy platypus custard. Dragons, den, anyone. Let's just go through those two things. Lipsatite with a platypus? Are we feeling that something we'd want to go with? For me, it's too

weird a looking animal. It's, and it's too small. Is it small? I thought the platypus was like the size of a man. Is it not? How big is a platypus? No, it's not a size of a man. Is it a gorilla duck? You're imagining? I'd say that none of us know. You're imagining. I thought it was quite a size, like a sizable dog at least. It's like a little bea, like, a a sort of a little tauiletobus. Is it? Is it, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, diiii. It's. It's, is a duck. It's. It's, the duck. It's. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's a thi. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A, a th. A, a th. A, a th. A, a th. A, a th. A, a th. A, a th. A, a th. A, a th. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thing. Okay, I've exaggerated the size of the platypus in my mind then. That's the duck bill platibus. There's a fact I know which is that... Was it Darwin who discovered it? Yes, someone big discovered it and they thought he just patched this animal together for different animals. Yeah, have you heard this? That is true. They thought they thought they thought. They. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. they. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. tobu. tobu. tobu. tobu. tobu. D. tobu. tobu. D. their. D. their. their. their. their. D. way of saying you'll never believe what I've found and then he'd yell, I can't believe you fell for it like 24 hours later. Yeah, they genuinely believe that. The addition of platypus custard, I want to clear this up. I do like custard but not so much that I want to try custard from different animals. I'm okay with the current custer. There's a whole breakfast the platipus. It's. It is. It is. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. I. It's. I. I. It's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the meat yeah a bit of bacon bit of platypus bacon it's amazing you can have a full day of platypus meals scrambled eggs breakfast it's a full English of the

animal world that's what it is one delicious one delicious one delicious one stomach full of beans no doubt young platopas are called Puggles that's cute. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, there you go. I don't think, I don't think you want to go lips the teet with something that spends a lot of time in water. I just think that's a good show. Probably a bit disgusting. But it might be quite clean water, it's out in nature. It's not sort like one of the Dragons asking questions and you're the investor. No, no, no, the entrepreneur's saying. This is fine, this is fine. Banatine is drilling down into it and you're like, no, it's, you know, it's clean water that you suckle the teet in.

It's fine. Banatine's not trying the cypus custom into Banatine's mouth and he's got he's really pursing his lips like a toddler who doesn't want to eat something. Medan's loving it. She's like, you've got any more of this mate? I'm trying to tickle banitine so he opens his mouth. Come on Duncan, try it. It's nice. A peltapus pelt and a sketch was sent back to Britain by Captain John Hunter, the second, the second, the second, the second, the second, the second, the second, the second, the second, the second, toe, toe, the toe, the toe, toe, their, toe, their, toe, toe, toe, toe, tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. I was tooom. I was tooom. I was tooom. I was tooom. I tooom, tooom, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, to too, to too, to too, too, too, too, their, their, their, their, their, tie. today. today. today. today today. today today's today's thae. Hea, today. Hea, tie. Hea, t second governor of New South Wales, British scientists initial hunch was that the attributes were a hoax. So George Shaw, who produced a first description of the animal in the naturalists' miscellany in 1799, stated it was impossible not to entertain doubts as to its genuine nature. And Robert Knox believed it might have been produced by some Asian taxidermist. It was thought someone had sewn a duck's beak onto the body of a beaver-like animal. And sure even took a pair of scissors to the dried skin to check for stitches. Not again, Charles. Yeah. Always sewing ducks beaks onto things. I mourn the loss of the age of

exploration when maybe you go to a new country and you see an animal that is completely insane. That's not really going to happen anymore is it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. th. I. t. t. t. to. t. t. to. to. t. t. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. I. Ithat's quite a good question, actually. Let's say we had been around 200 years ago. What animal do you think you might have suspected was fake? I think the giraffe is one. If someone brought me a stuffed giraffe, I think there's no way that neck is that long. They pulled that. They've done something. have pulled on that hard for about an hour and it's stretched out. What are you going for, Elle? There's like a battyed fox. Have you seen that? Yeah, and you're like, yeah, don't take the piss mate.

What are you? You were batting your fox. The zebra feels unlikely as well, I think. Yeah, yeah. I get it. I get it. And finally you, Chris. Yeah, you're are are are you, are you, are you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha, tho, the tho, tho, tho, the tho, tho, tho, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the. thea, thea, ta.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a, tha.a, thea, but you talking about L, the giant golden crown flying fox? Have you seen this? It's like a bat.

If you just type in huge bat. Oh, those huge bats are horrible. They're also known as the golden capped fruit bat. It's a species of mega bat, endemic to the Philippines. That is insane. Yeah, I saw that on Instagram and thought that's not real. They're basically the size of Peter Crouch, they're absolutely massive and you're like, that is, and they've got horrible scary faces. Way too big. Yeah, yeah. It's too big to be real.

Like if you saw that in real life, you would just die of being that scared. Yeah, yeah. So thanks for that Luke if any of the rest of you want to get in contact about animals you'd like to go lips to teet with, about places you'd like to go to on the one day time machine, about crazy historical relatives you have, anything basically that's ever cropped up on the show or anything you want to get off your chest. Here's how you can get in contact. Here's how you can to touch with the show. You can email us and hello at O'Watertime.com. And you can follow us on Instagram and Twitter at O'Water Time pod.

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So this week on the show I'll be talking about shaved heads as a punishment. I'll be talking about community humiliations in South Wales in particular in my stig. And I'm going to kick things off by talking about a very particular type of public humiliation which is the stocks and the pillory which as listeners will know resident Thicco Chris Skull got the wrong way around recently no it was me was it I'm wrong it was the other Thicco justice for Skull it was my it was my great humiliation Possible you actually Ellis not to worry you we've had a few emails

this week pointing out other correction corner mistakes from you so they will be coming in the future weeks so I don't want you to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the to the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. thi. the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the thi. the the thi. Resident the thi. Resident thi. Resident thi. Resident thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi you we've had a few emails this week pointing out other correction corner mistakes from you so they will be coming in the future weeks so I don't want you sitting too pretty thinking it's simply a stocks and pillory issue there's more mistakes coming your way so one of the most popular images of medieval crime and punishment is of a prisoner in either just for some clarity again a set of stocks which went around the feet or in a pillory which immobilized th th th the th th th you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the again, a set of stocks which went around the feet, or in a pillory which immobilized you by locking your hands and your head at a framework attached to a standing post.

That's what the two things were. And then when you were in one of those, what would normally happen is you'd be pelted with rotten vegetables, rotten eggs or verbal abuse. Now, those which are you going for, are you going for loads of eggs in the face or lots of comments that really cut you in quite a personal way where they've really really observed an insecurity? Oh no I could take the personal abuse. Would you give me that of a rotten eggs end day week? I mean when your head's in the pillories I was shouting out you've lost control. Yeah yeah I mean I've been broadcasting of five

lives since May 2019. I mean you should read our text console. You give anything for eggs you give anything to open the window at five live and be pelted with eggs. Oh I mean Jeff for gettering I mean that guy has he hates me he has an agenda but I that's absolutely fine I accept that. What about you skull what you're going for eggs or or abuse? I think abuse. I think it just one egg gets you in the eye or something like that you can't defend yourself that could be really painful but as the old adage goes sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me yes yes yeah okay I see what th you th you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th th th I th I th th th th th th th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I th. I that I that I that I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I the the the the the th. I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. th. I'm. I'm. th. th. I'm. I'm. I'm.. I see what you're saying. I think I'd go eggs, personally. I think there's a danger. That's a eggs? I do, actually. Because I'm seeing a situation where sort of people who know me

are stood at the back and they think I can't see that they're there and I can see them when they're They're yelling out thi the thhing out thing out thing out thing out thing out thing out thing out thing out thing out thing out thing out thing out thing out thing out thing out thing out thing out thing out thing out thing out thing out thing out thing out thing out they're yelling thi they're yelling they're yelling they're yelling they're yelling they're yelling they're yelling they're yelling they're yelling they're yelling they're yelling they're yelling, they're yelling, they're yelling, they're yelling, they're yelling out yelling out yelling out yelling out yelling out they're yelling out they're yelling out things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things. They're They're yelling out th thing out thing out thing out they're yelling out they're yelling out they're yelling out, they're yelling out, they're yelling out, they're yelling out, they're yelling out, they're yelling out, they're yelling out, they're yelling out, they're yelling past so you could only know if you knew me and that's spreading people are talking about the cabab soaked shirt crane why did he leave your shirt and a taxi you on bull loads of comments about when you get me a finger stuck in a cold water bottle yeah this is feeling quite personal now right so this is why do you keep making mistakes you're constantly making mistakes is weird so those your options basically your feet are your feet would be shackled or your head, and in one place or the other, you'd be pelted or slagged off basically. And in some cases, the incarcerated people, and this is, this feels too much, were even stripped of their clothes.

So often that was happening when you were entirely naked. Oh, God. Once again. In that case, if I'm entirely naked, I don't want comments. So I'd rather want to get, I'd go food rather than sort of pointed comments about what people are seeing. But the smell, yes. You know, it's the smell of rotten food. The question of the sakes, what sort of things would see you end up in the stocks? Well, James I decreed in 1605 that anyone who was found drunk should either pay a fine or spend six hours in the stocks. I think about how stressful that would make the walk home from the pub. That you could get stopped at any point and if you're seen as drunk,

you're stuck in the stocks. Yeah. I. I. I. overnight? They would keep you for six hours in the stocks if you were caught drunk out or about or you had to pay a fine on which I would constantly be carrying stock money in my back pocket just in case. My friends be saying do you have one more pint? I say I can't use this final fiver sorry because this is my fine money. This is what gets me out of the stock. It would be part of the night out of the night. You've got your money for food at the end of the night for you know the taxi, your stock's money. It's you know money to get into the club. It's a choice so well isn, but then that runs the risk if you're then stopped, you've used up your stock money? Or do you always keep your stock money on you? It's tough, isn't it?

Like, yeah. So this is what happened if you were caught out and about and drunk, you will be shoved in the stocks. In fact, an hour I'd buy a cabb. Six hours in the street, or is it like, oh you're a bit tipsy, getting the stocks. Neither of those scenarios seem fair. Like if you're absolutely wasted, like let the guy get home.

Also I imagine it's uncomfortable. Yeah, I think we can think it before it crashes off the stage. However, if you're drunk enough, you might pass out and fall asleep anyway. We've all fallen asleep sort of face down on the floor when we're knackered and we're sort of at university and you're in Hamlet. Not in stocks and pillories though. So I don't think. In medieval England, they were so keen on the use. the rules. the ruling powers are so keen on the use of stocks that a law was passed requiring all communities to maintain a set in which to punish people. So basically every

community in the country had to have stocks and to the point that any village that didn't have one ran the risk of being fine themselves and having one set often wasn't enough. In 1653 the Nottinghamshire Village of South Salle were told off for not having enough set. So the worry here is that villages are getting fine for not having them. There's constant fines as a way of getting out. You can see that it's probably becoming a bit of a money-making thing. Do you know what I would do, though? What's that? If there were decent pubs in town and everyone like to drink, you have a whip-browned as a town and pay the fine for not having stocks and then you can all drink to your heart's content. And then you're going to be attracting people to the town.

Yeah. You'd basically become a hen slash stag-doe destination. It's going to improve the local town's economy. Brewer, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the thi, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their, their their thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thrown, tou-s, tou-s, tou-s, tou-s, tou-s, thauuuuiou-s, thin, thi, their, the local town's economy. Breweries are going to set up in the town. There's going to be more pubs. With pubs, you're going to end up with restaurants. You're basically creating the perfect place for a night town. Yeah, congratulations. You've just invented Benadorm. A cold, wet Benadur. So it's because of this, though. This is why it's no surprise, it's that it's that it's that it's that it's not, it's not, it's no, it's no, it's not, it's not, it's no surprise, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's, it's, it's that it's that it's, it's that it's that, it's that, it's, it's that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, you're that, you're that, you're that, you're that, you're that, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you. that, you. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to-a. to-a. to-a. to-a. to-a. to-a. to-a. to-a. to-a. that's going going going to-a. that's going going this though, this is why it's no surprise that many places kind of were desperate to show their support for the stocks as a way of not getting constantly fine.

So much so that they renamed their streets. So for example, Ecclesfield near Sheffield has Stox Hill, Plymouth has Pillar Street. That's kind of, that's why these places are named as such and showed that they were completely in line with this idea of the importance of the stock as a way of punishing people correctly. However medieval England wasn't the first time that stocks were used they were also around in ancient times so the Athenians for example they locked prisoners in a a device called the Podokake, which is the foot retainer, which a thief might face five or ten days locked in.

In ancient Greece, they had the kiphon, which was a yoke attached around the net, which forced the wearer to bend forward where they could be whipped, etc. Or paraded through the streets or attached to a whipping post and left there. Now at least the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thaeatheaeateatheaeatheaeatheaeatheaeatheae, which the, which theae, which theae, which theae, which tha. thae, which thae, which thae, which thae, which thaeatheaeatheaeatheaeatheaeatheaeatheaeaeaeaeatheaeaeaeaeaeatheaeatheaeatheaeathe be whipped, etc. Or paraded through the streets, or attached to a whipping post and left there. Now, at least here, we have cold weather. In Greece, you'd be in the baking heat tie to a post. I mean, horrendous. Or lying back if you're in the stocks.

I mean, that is brutal. Yes, uncomfortable. Unless you can sort of tell yourself your sunbat-I to and enjoy it. So I have friends bring you Pina Coladas and stuff like that. Just go. I think of all the vitamin D I'm getting. This is great. Top it up on the time. Exactly, yeah. Get a mate to come over, read you a book. Could pretend it's an audio book or something. So it's like elsewhere they have them. to. the. the. their. their. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the the. the the. the the the the the try. try. to. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. thrin. thin I think there's probably some slightly better for those being punished here because The baking heat wasn't the issue still not great But really it was in colonial and revolutionary America that stocks had their heyday. So this is a time and place where stocks were just everywhere and constantly used with all sorts of punishments devised by community officials now. he some of the examples. For example, in Rockingham County in New Hampshire, simply being found sleeping on a Sunday or smoking tobacco would see you end up in the stocks.

Sleeping on a Sunday? It's the sleepiest day of the week. Well, ultra-religious times. In fact, if you were spotted not going to church on a Sunday, you could be locked in the stocks out on the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the taugeyseauliestiestiestiestiestiest toeaugneaulcanteyskiesiesieskiestiest toeyskiest tooomeyskiest toauncanteyskiest going to church on a Sunday, you could be locked in the stocks out on the village green or in the county green. So out in the park for people to see you as someone who hasn't been to church or has been seen sleeping and you're now, you're stuck in the stocks for that. That feels like something any of us could be caught with. Yeah, fine. Fall asleep on a bus or something, whatever. And then, next th. the the their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to. t. t. t. t. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thethe sleeping one, yeah, fine. Fall asleep on a bus or something, whatever, and then next thing you know. I used to fall asleep on the nightbus in London all the time

when I was younger. Well, you'd be constantly in the stocks then. In Boston. Waking up in Maldon. I think where the hell is thinne is the hell is the stocks and pillory were attached to a holding pen, once again, which is in the middle of the park, where offenders were held in full public view. I think what you're hoping for in that situation is just a really wet day where people don't want to go to the park. Yeah. You don't want to be a really lovely summer day. The ice cream van's there. There's loads of families. You're hoping for a horrible day where no one wants to go to the park, maybe a couple of dog walkers. Oh, have you seen the weather outside? It's a lovely day for a humiliation.

Should we go down to the park and look at the humiliated people? Who is it, ma'am? It's it's Tom crane again. Oh, great! I think it's going to ruin the vibe though, isn't it? Surely, of your, of your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your sort your, of your, of your, of your, of your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their? their? their? their, their, their? their? their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. to, thooooooo, thooooooo. th. th. thoooooooo. th. th. their, their, the kids, but in the periphery you can just see this guy who's stuck in the stocks. That's taking away from the sort of pleasant afternoon a bit, isn't it? It's a vibe kill, yeah, it's that you're playing frisbee. It keeps hitting him in the face, you keep apologizing. He keeps catching it with his mouth. Yeah, exactly. In Pennsylvania. Allegheny County, I hope I'm pronouncing that right. that. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. they. to. they. they. to. they. they. they. to. they. they. they. to. they. they. they. to. they. to. to. to. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a t. It's a t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. the t. the t on his bare back and then an hour in the stocks to think about the pain in 1775. Oh God. Think about the pain. Oh, you're going to. I mean, he's going to think about the pain. Oh, you're going to. Oh, you're going to. Yeah, I mean, he's going to. Exactly. Yeah, can't go home. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the th. th. th. th. tho. tho. the tho. the tho. the tho. the th. th. tho. thin. the the th. the the the th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. thin. tho. tho. thin. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. S. S. S. th. S. thinking about the pain, okay? How's that sound? Well, William Howard was lucky compared to the next guy.

John Smith, the very following year in the same place, had the lashes, the time and the pillory, and had to pay a fine of 20 pounds. But he also, and I very briefly think this is the wrong description for this. It's described he had the humiliation of having his ears cut off and nailed to the pillory while he was still standing there. I don't think that's humiliating. I'm not all by the king that's so humiliating for that guy. I'm thinking that is just horrific. Oh my god. I'm not going, oh that's so embarrassing, John. You've had your ears cut.

How humiliating. Oh man. Oh man. this is fairly innocent medieval punishment, but then that, that, I mean, there's always one, isn't there? Yeah. It's always going to end up like that. Well, there were slightly more innocent punishment, and I'll end on this actually, Chris. So this was in Norwich, Connecticut. So it wasn't always having your ears cut off and been stuck in the stocks for a week. A man was convicted forgery in the 1780s. This feels quite erratic as to whether what

the punishment is. He got away with three days in the stocks. However, he only had to do 15 minutes a day. So he'd be put in for 15 minutes for three days in a row. That I can't take. that is not a problem. Which 15 minutes are you going for? Are you going, I'm going to get up early, 6 a.m. Let's just get the 15 the 15 the 15 the 15 the 15 the 15 the 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. to. to have. to. to. to have. I. to have. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. early, 6 a.m. Let's just get the 15 minutes done and then I'm going to have a productive morning after that. I think I'd do it after a nice leisurely breakfast. My 15 minutes of humiliation, around 11, yeah. I'll have a coffee, yeah, I'll have a coffee, yeah. Go up to a person charge and say I'm ready for my quarter of an hour of absolute humiliation now. Are you having your coffee balanced on the stocks so you're continuing to sip it? Yeah, through straws like those caps, Homa Simpson had. I think 15 minutes is short enough as well that you could definitely convince a couple

of friends to bring some deck chairs, just sit with you and just continue everything. Yeah, yeah, that's not a problem with it. Exactly. So that you their their their their th. So, th. So, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a the story. that's a the story. that's a th. th. that's th. th. their their the story th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their. their c. their c. their c. their. their. their. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. te. te. te. te. t. t. t. t. t. t. th. th. th. too. Yeah, yeah. That's not a problem. Exactly, exactly. So that's the story of stocks basically. It was clearly an incentivized thing in Britain in terms of money. There was profit from it. You can see why it was being pushed there. You can see how it was used as a way of religious control in America. But you can also see the complete inconsistency in the punishments that are doled out and the time. And the time to spend in them. But that is humiliation in the stocks and pillory. All right, that's the end of part one. If you want more humiliation right now, you can become an O-Water Time full-timer, get both parts together, bonus episodes, loads of good stuff to sign up, head to O-Watertime.com, otherwise we'll see you tomorrow. Bye. Bye. the the the to the to the the the

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