On Display with Melissa Gorga - Hillarious Stories (w/ John Arthur Hill)

Episode Date: December 7, 2023

Melissa invites actor, comedian, and Andy Cohen's ex, John Arthur Hill, onto the show to talk about his friendship with Andy, his run-ins with Housewives on Fire Island, and why the phone calls never stop when you're in reality tv.  Melissa also shares her (and Joe's) experience being guests on John's podcast, "Discretion Advised" and well...let's just say, discretion advised. This week's sponsors:  Chime - No-Fee Banking, Get Paid up to 2 Days Early: Chime.com/Melissa LiquidIV - Hydration Made Easy: LiquidIV.com, promo code: MELISSA (20% off) Peloton - Special December Offer!: OnePeloton.com/offers PlutoTV - Holiday Movie Favorites: Pluto.Tv Uncommon Goods - Out of the Ordinary Gifts: UncommonGoods.com/melissa (15% off)

This episode is brought to you by Peloton. For Peloton's December offer, head to onepeloton.com slash offers. But like I have to say, I fully was like, wow, I'm just excited about this podcast today. You might know him from XM's serious radio with Andy Cohen every morning or possibly from his podcast discretion advice or you might just know him for his incredible body. Ladies and gentlemen, I have with me John Arthur Hale today. Hi John. Serving body down.

What's up? Yeah, we have to like always mention the bod and the looks for all my listeners who just listen to this voice. This is a very good looking man on my screen right now. Oh my God, thank you. You're welcome. Does everyone say that to you? Listen, I'll take it as often as I can get it.

I'm 34 it and desperate for attention and flattery. I'll take it. And you love it. You love it. No, you're welcome. You're also a really nice guy. I met you for the first time doing the discretion advised podcast and you guys were so much fun.

You're so down the earth. You're obviously had Joe Gorgah with me, half naked with you the whole time on stage, but you guys are so much fun. I cannot thank you enough for coming. We meet a lot of people and you guys were like top notch favorites. Thank you so much.

Oh really? And such good sports and yeah, anytime you can get Joe Gorgas tits out, you know. I know he loves it too. Don't get him twisted. He'll pull them out anytime he possibly can. Joe is a gay icon and he doesn't even even he might realize it a little bit, but he needs to really fully embrace it. I think that's his next act. I think that is his next big plunge in the Americans' like, guys, is like as a full-fledged gay icon. He should host like, RuPaul's Drag Race.

Oh, my, could you imagine? Could you imagine? I think he would love it. That's the crazy part. Like, he would love every second of it. Yeah. He's like, he's like, our leader. He's a gay icon.

And he has body for days. Oh, God. I am not telling him you're saying any of this because he will totally like eat it up. He loves it. He doesn't like like he likes when a gay man thinks he's hot because then it's like the official stamp of approval because you know, you guys keep it tight and keep it all cleaned up and you like pretty boys. And there's a contest or anybody anytime anyone ever asks who's your favorite hottest house husband, he's always the winner.

No matter, even with women, he's the hottest. He does well, he does well. Oh God, we're blowing his head up right now way bigger than it needs to be. For all my listeners out there, just know yes I'm horse. This is not me trying to turn John on. It's, and they all know John, this is a thing with me. Like if I drink too much, if I do anything too much,

I instantly lose my voice. And I just came off an awesome cousins weekend with my cousins in New York City. We do it every single year. We grab like my sisters and my cousins. We're all like right around the same age within 10 years of each other. And we're just like a group of cousins that just go out

and we like do the Christmas bar hop and just run around New York City and do all the Christmas things. Yeah, where do you go? Do you go ice skating? So yeah, they went, I missed the ice skating this year but they went ice skating under the Brooklyn Bridge are you aware that you can do that?

Like on the ocean? Yeah, like right under the Brooklyn Bridge the ocean, somewhere in the sea. Wow. That was awesome. We did a couple of like the cheesy bar like with all the decoration things because some of my cousins insisted. We did Madame X.

Do you know that? Do you know Madame? Is that on like, Houston Street? Yeah, it's a gay bar. Yeah, I've been there. Yeah. We stopped by there for a little bit because one of my friends Tim Kush was having a birthday party.

So we stopped by there also. We just, you know, we went to a really great dinner. Like, we just, we had a good night. Listen, we had fun. Is that what you're about to say? You went to catch. No, it was called catchy shoobie. A catchy shoobie, have you ever heard?

Don't know it, but I don't know the fancy restaurants. I need to like, what next time? You know what, you're out in LA. Are you in New York a lot? I am in New York, once a month to do my show, but I need to like get back into the cool kid part of New York. I kind of just go to the same old places. I feel like I fall into the same rut too,

but enough about me. I need to talk about you for a second and the fact that, you know, I don't, I think people find it very intriguing that you're on. First of all, you're in case my listeners don't know, I have to fill them in that you did once in your life date, Andy Cohen. I find this so intriguing because knowing him as long as I've known him. I never read an article that he's with a man. I never read anything about Andy having a boyfriend. You are like the only person that has ever been stamped as Andy Cohen's ex or like boyfriend that I know of. You're probably giggling inside because you know a thousand, right? But like I only know you. We only know you. Well, there's another one. He has

another one that he talks about in his books a lot who's very cool, who's another friend of mine as well. Okay, okay. But we, but other than that, you know, he he dates around, but it's in terms of like actual boyfriends, you know, we dated in 2003 for a couple years and then we were really good friends. We kind of broke up because we were better friends with boyfriends and then I worked out, watch what happens live for four years. I was a writer on that show and then we started hosting our show on Series X and eight years ago. So we've been like, it like yes, we broke up as boyfriends, but we kind of never broke up in terms of like some, wow, we're still like, something.

Which is pretty amazing. I mean, that's like, you can give everyone tips out there. Do you think it's amazing? Or do you think it's a red flag that I am close with my ex and work with my ex? Honestly. Honestly, a red flag? No, I think that it's a sign of also like a good person because you guys might have broke up but nobody like screwed each other over to the point that you can't look at each other.

Right. That you're actually able to like work with someone. And not only that, I hate to say this, but your ex is one of the most powerful people in reality TV at the moment. I mean, do you agree on this? Yeah, you know, when we dated, he was not at Bravo yet. So it's kind of like we've evolved together. I was there when he was not that, you know, and I've kind of been ahead of front row seat to watch all this happen for him. I'm so I'm so happy for him. So I think part of our relationship is being able've kind of been head of front row C to watch all this happen for him. I'm so I'm so happy for him.

So I think part of our relationship is is being able to kind of keep it, keep it real with him. Someone who remembers when, you know, he was still in a walk up. Um, you know, yes. Well, so when you dated him, it was pre famed. It was before he was famous. Yeah, it was, it was, and and then and then he did move over to Brawba. I think like the last couple of years we were together, but he didn't have a show

till later. But listen, he was always successful and he was always kind of a star on the rise. Definitely. He always kind of like was on a he was like a very charismatic superstar kind of guy. That's why he fell in love with him. He was on a mission. He was on a mission. He knew what he wanted. He also, you know, I remember seeing him on like with Sarajesaka Parker on Sex in the City, like little roles like that. He was always like in there, the news, doing things like that, right? Commentating. Yeah, you know, they say it's just, they say that luck, there's no such thing as luck and it is what preparation meets opportunity. And he is the perfect example of that. You know, he was always kind of like ready to jump if an opportunity came, you know, and it's it's

inspiring to see anybody who has big ambitions. I think that's really what it is be, you know, get make yourself available to opportunities and then be ready to take them. Right. Well, he's definitely done that. I mean, it's huge. And you must have so much behind the scene, scoop all the time on housewives. Like, are you sick of hearing about it sometimes?

Just because you're on with him. And I know you guys don't just talk housewives in the morning, right? But it always comes up. There's always a reunion or something for him to like, clarify. Do you ever get sick of hearing about all of us crazy women? No, I never do, in all honesty.

When I worked at Watch Your Happens Live, I did get a little bit tired because it was every single day. We had to know all the shows, but to be totally honest, Andy and I in the radio work really well because I don't actually keep up as like a crazy rabbit bravo fan

because it gives us something to talk about. If I knew everything, you know, like, when I ask him something about you guys, I'm literally saying, who is that and what's happening? And he's able to tell me and not pretend to be telling me, he's literally telling me, so it works better for our conversation if I don't know everything. Like, I really, I'm happy in my little bubble. Sorry, my dog is shaking. I really, I'm happy in my little bubble, so I'm a dog is shaking. No, but I agree, because I kinda, if you were a fan that knew everything,

like it's not as fun. Oh my God, look at this pop. He is, is that a boy? Men take his collar up. Yeah, this is heat. I pee, pee is so cute. And you have a dog, I mean, do you have a new boyfriend or are we still just hanging out single?

No, sir. Hook me up. The people, wait, can I give you the funniest story? I have a funny story. I like reposted your photo a couple times after I came on the podcast or, oh my God, the women, the Frankl likes moms and my DMs. I was like, he's gay. He's gay.

Like literally, like I cannot even tell you how many people DMed me about you I got it. It's actually was funny. I mean do you like ladies as well because I have a ton that would love to meet you I wish I did. I wish I did. You know what? There was a couple there was a couple boys too that were definitely in my DMs asking, like, who is this? I'm down for dates. You are? Yeah. Even with women? Probably not.

I don't know what to say. I was just like, I was just like, you know, moms from town, like, you know, probably running around to the food store and then watching Melissa's. I owe my life to moms are, excuse me, moms listen to our show and the serious XM. Listenership is is highly mom centric mom forward. So thank you to the moms. Thank you to yeah, that's my that's my bread and butter right there. Love you. Oh, they are. They're all listening to you right now. I love you. Love you. Most of the women, most of the people who come to my shows, a lot of them are like 40 plus moms.

That's my age group. That's really. That's my sweet spot. Yeah. Well, I think that's also like, you know, in the morning when you're on with Andy, that's probably his sweet spot as well, right? So it's all like, yeah. Tight in with that in the morning.

I wonder sometimes if like me and Mark's show discretion advice is a lot of guys, a lot of younger people. Oh, I love we're going to talk about discretion advice. First of all, I love the name of like who can mop with that. Mark thought of that. Mark is such a good writer. He's really good with titles and stuff. I was going to say, but I think for me and the mornings on the radio, you know,

mom's driving their kids to school, I think I remind them of like their gay, bestie they had in high school in the 90s. For sure. They're reliving the glory. And I'm happy to, I'm happy to play that. I'm happy to play that role for people, you know. I think you do that for me as well. I've been a gay bestie plenty of times.

For sure. Like I wish you lived in Jersey or New York would be acceptable as well. But like that's how I felt when I met you also. You were just one of those people that you feel like you've known forever. We just kind of like, I'm like, oh, he's cool. I like this guy. Now I know you know, I got it. If you haven't finished your holiday shopping yet, don't panic. There's still time to find incredible original gifts with the help of uncommon goods. I do a secret Santa every single year with my cousins and I'm definitely gonna check

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and bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to liquidiv.com and use code Melissa at checkout. That's 20% off anything you order when you shop better hydration today using promo code Melissa at liquidiv.com. that's 20% off anything you order when you shop better hydration today using promo code Melissa at liquid IV.com. So yeah, obviously you're you're an icon to all of these ladies listening to you all day and you have like this calmness

about you like this chill calmness about you but I mean for I have a lot of listeners that are also single so I want to talk to you about this for a second, because well, first of all, you've managed to have an X that you work with, which is unheard of. But also you're in the dating world, I'm sure, right? Like, are you dating? I am dating, but just to be honest, it's hard to meet people, especially in LA.

I don't like a lot of people. A lot of time, I have a kind of, I'm trying to work on being more tolerant and cool. A lot of times someone will say the wrong thing and I'll be out. Really? So you're going to meet for something to eat or get a drink and then you're instantly like, I don't like what you said I got to go. I don't leave, but in my mind, I'm like, I'm maybe a little too critical.

And I don't mean physically, I mean just chill personality-wise. Like I need a cool chill person if someone suffers from severe anxiety because I have been anxiety. If someone else has that, I can't. I need a chill person. Do you really? I would never in a million years think you have anxiety ever. Yeah. I'm socially awkward. You know, I try to play it off, but like if someone, I need someone who's going to kind of ground me, keep me calm, you know, I don't need a panicker because I can. Okay. Yeah.

Well, are you noticing these days? So I have a lot of, a lot of my friends are married, but a lot of them are also still in the dating world. Yeah. And they tell me that a lot of the people they go out on dates with are already in a relationship or they're already married. And like this is their date on the side. And they say it's happening like constantly. And a lot of the marriages are okay with it. So it's like, listen, we need a minute here or like, go ahead, go do your thing for a minute. I'll go do mine. Are you noticing that or?

It's just a lot of my friends are saying that gay and straight honestly. Yeah, I you know what sometimes it I like the people up front about it That's what I will say is the good part of all of it You know the worst part is if you find that out and it's cheating or a lie or whatever. I think The first thing to say is that it's great that people are open about it and upfront. That's great. What kind of rubs me the wrong way is I'm looking for my special person. I'm not approved. I'll go out with someone if they're in an open relationship or whatever. I won't go on a date, probably like a romantic. Let's

get to know each other thing. But like every so often, if there is some sort of hookup, I don't know. There's a situation where I could be open to it, but I'm not trying to date somebody who's in a lot. This is what I've been noticing. People will DM me, a guy will DM me, and like something thirsty, like very thirsty. I'll click. Like extremely thirsty.

Yeah, I'll click on their account. I'll go to their profile and it will be married to my best friend for seven years today. God for they have their babies and I'm like, it's just it takes me a second to put myself in their shoes. If I were married for seven years and if I had kids and I don't know if well maybe, maybe I would be sending thirsty DMs of people. I probably would, but it just takes me a minute to say, wow, think this, you know, it just takes me a minute to think through it.

But I am noticing that. I do see, I do get a lot of DMs from married people, for sure. Yeah, I'm telling you that's what everyone is saying to me. Everyone, they're like, this is what's happening in the world right now. And like, it's almost like, okay, they're fine doing it too.

And like, people like you will go check on their page. And this is what they see. And it's just like, it's crazy. So it's rough out there in those streets. I mean, you're not even looking for something serious. Or no, you at that point in life. For sure. Andy is too.

I know, I tell him all the time. I'm like, with the babies now. And just I feel like he's definitely text me a couple times and Express how hard it is to have the two little ones and I tell him Andy Yeah, you're going through the baby ears. It's gonna get better. It's the absolute best time and the hardest time all Rapped into one. I don't have kids, but I can tell him I've told him for like It is going to I know that you're going through it, but like it's all going to be worth it, you know, like you're going to have, you have a family built a little family. He's a family like on his own.

Pretty incredible. It is incredible. I mean, I really choose you, but like I'm like, it's never, it's never gonna happen. Is that never gonna happen? I just think it would be so cute. I see it. I could see it. You guys could be on the radio in the morning. You can like, you know, share the children. Be wonderful.

I don't think I have a nurturing instinct for children to be honest. Oh my God. I know. He definitely does. He definitely does. And it was his dream. Remember, if we were together, he's like, I children to be honest. Oh my gosh. I know. He definitely does. He definitely does. And it was his dream. Remember, if we were together, he was like, I want to have kids.

And I was like, I don't understand the words you're saying right now. Oh, yeah. You're just like onto totally different pages. And not to be too old school gay guy about it, but like, I'm still learning that it's a possibility to have kids that even though people close to me have, but when I grew, when I was growing up it wasn't a

not that it wasn't allowed you know but it was it wasn't literally was illegal but it was like I didn't grow up dreaming like one day I'll have a husband and children it just wasn't one of my dreams so now that it's a possibility I am thinking about it but it's not my gut reaction to think oh my god my instinct is to bring a child when care for it. I'm still coming for myself. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's fair. But I'm trying to explore with that. Because I think it's, Andy's having experience that is so rewarding that is an experience that I literally cannot relate to. And I'm really good about putting myself in other people's shoes. I think I'm very empathetic. But when I look at what he's going through, I'm like, wow,

your experience, a different kind of love on this planet that I just, as much as I can use my imagination, I don't understand. And I think that's pretty incredible. It really is. Not incredible enough to want to know what it's like. Like it's incredible, not for you, but to watch. It is incredible. Yeah.

And you know what, it's not easy for him. There's times that I know, like even when he's posting in the child in the back seat, first of all, I die laughing that he's going through that right now because that was my whole life, maybe like five years ago. And I've like come out of that already, but he, when I watch that I giggle, because I'm like, listen, you're not special.

You gotta go through it like the rest of us. It's hard. We all have more kids. No, I'm done. I'm done. I, you're not special. You got to go through it like the rest of us. It's hard. We all have more kids. No, I'm done. I'm done. I started really young, John. I was, I got married to Joe. I was 25 years old.

Wow. And I had all of my babies. Like, you know, I'm, my daughter just went to college. Never really. I literally just, yeah, you know, I know it's done. I did debate it at one point. I did debate it at one point, but no, I think I'm good. I'm like living my best life. Well, you have a college-age daughter. That is amazing. Isn't that insane? Yeah. Isn't

that insane? I had her when I was 25. I got pregnant with her. So it's insane to even like, oh my God, just like send her off. And like, even for me, it's a whole thing. Is it hard to think about what she's doing, who she's talking to? What she like, one reason I would have a hard time being a parent is I would be so controlling. I would move to the town the college is in. I would follow them around. I would say, who are your friends? What classes are you taking? What exactly are you eating for breakfast lunch and dinner? Are you drinking or are you smoking hot? Who are you talking to on the phone? Give me your phone and show me your phone. Exactly.

Okay, you sound like Joe Gorgah right now. Number one, number two, can I tell you, when we went to drop her off at school, there was boys like in the dorms and he's like, what? This is co-ed. No. The boys are a cost and the girls are here

and all the rooms are together. Like they live in the same, like, is it any? No, I would move there and I would get a job as the RA. He, it was, he struggled. Like we drove away from that school, dropping her off and he was like, what the fuck just happened?

How far away is she from you guys? Two and a half hours. It's not bad, but it's too far to come home all the time. Like she's there. He facetimes are all the time. He's like, who's in the background? What are you guys doing? Where'd you go last night?

It's like, let's say we had a let go. We lost control, you know? She's she's out there doing her thing. But thank God she's right. That's great. You have to you have a good attitude about it. I would be ever had I would have a really hard time. I would just keep me up at night wondering what they're doing to know

Joe Gorgas to know that he has a really, really hard time with it. And the fact like I giggle just watching him being like, what do you mean? This is co-ed. There's boys that live across the hall in the next door. Like, I'm like, yeah, Joe, she's up to her to like do what she's going to do. She's got to live her life right now and decide what she wants, you know? So that was not fun for it. It was actually really fun.

You're actually going to see that all in the real house I said you're gonna see it because we filmed in Tony go to college and it was it was special This holiday season Peloton is your stage to work out your way I love my Peloton so much. It's just the convenience of being in your own home You save the drive to and from the gym. There's nothing like it and it kind of gives you no excuse, even when the winter's coming. It's about to get cold outside. You don't even have to leave your house to break a sweat.

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Make yourself uncomfortable in the comfort of your own space. You'll find classes and instructors that'll keep you coming back for more. For Peloton's December offer, head to 1peloton.com slash offers. All access membership separate terms apply. It's the holidays, which means you're spending money and no matter what you're buying this season, when you use the secured chime credit builder Visa credit card, you can build your credit scores with on time payments for everyday purchases. Plus, there's no annual fee interest or credit check to get started. You can use it everywhere Visa credit cards are accepted and build credit using your own money.

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Call 1-844-244-6363 for details. Late payment may negatively impact your credit score. Results may vary. Early access to direct deposit funds depends on payer. Spot me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. But anyway, speaking of all this, I need to ask you because I was reading up on you a little bit and I'm like, wow, like honestly, you've done a lot of things. I'm old. I had no idea. I'm pretty stressed. You were on Broadway.

Yeah, that's how I started. Are you a comedian? I see that you do comedy. Yeah. You were, you know, it was called a pop opera, right? That you were in there. Yeah, that was a bear. Bear, yeah.

That was a very, that was a big, I still get DMs from that show that like change kids lives. Yeah. People were really emotional. Wow. from that show that like change kids' lives. Yeah, people were really excited to show. And so you're like a multi cat cat, like do you do comedy? I had no idea you did comedy, you do podcasts. You're on the radio in the morning, you're producing, I hear you produce. I produce reality TV for a really long time, actually.

Wow, come to our show. No, I needed it. Would you pull your hair out? It was not, like I said, I have anxiety, I panic, and it was such a... I am creative, I feel like I'm a good writer, I'm funny, I had good ideas in the field, that was a good field producer, I was a good, I was good with directing talent and directing scenes and coming up with story and helping people kind of verbalize what they're thinking and interviews and things, I was great at that.

But when it came to running a show and I just I'm not organized and I have bad ADD and I would stress myself and I also felt like anytime someone would get mad and you know on a reality show tensions come on really high obviously. And I would always think I was in trouble even though I never was I would always I just I don, I don't know, but it's not for people who take things personally in-horsensitive, I was not built for it. It may be really stressed out. Oh my God, sometimes we call these producers and I'm like, how dare you, I have three children and these people, like, and it's a lot. They feel bad, you know, they're producing a show,

they're doing what they have to do. But like, it's, I can see it definitely being stressful, especially're producing a show. They're doing what they have to do. But like it's I can see it definitely Being stressful, especially if you have anxiety. That's like his next level the phone calls That that like if you were directing housewives are producing housewives. Wow the phone calls that come in to these Never stops. It never stopped. It was 24 seven. I did a show. I was running a show in Dallas And I used to get phone calls from the cast, you know, Saturday night at 4 a.m., you know, and these were like big issues too. Life issues, like not just my call time is too early, but like major, you know, the things that come out of these reunions and things like that, these big personal accusations

and stuff, they come a lot of times to me for, you know, to the producer first and you have to talk it out. And then you're like, you always say, well, talk to the person. You're like, you have to go in there and sit them down and tell them what you know. With like this evil grin on your face, it's like, I could see it not being for everyone because you like, you know, you feel like you're doing it to them yourself. When really, it's just life happening and you're just kind of following the reality of what you want. It is documenting reality. It's just the process of it freaks me out sometimes because I was like, am I being

manipulative? You know, and then you feel guilty. See you're too nice. You're too nice to be a reality TV producer. But I tried it. I did a good job for like 10 years. I've produced reality TV. I But I tried it. And I did a good job for like 10 years. I produce reality TV. I worked in a bunch of great shows, but I'm better at talking

on the radio, doing my comedy shows, which you should come see. If you're in New York on the 14th of this month of December, or the 18th of January, where are you going to be? Greenroom 42. I have a residency there once a month in New York City. OK. Joe and I definitely are going to come to one of those. You have to let me know again, say it again so that my listeners can hear this.

I will pass to you. Greenroom 42, December 14th and January 18th of the next shows. Oh, we are there. You know, Joe likes to dabble with a little comedy thing here in there. Oh, I know. Oh, I know. He kills me. John, I literally die every time he in there. Oh, I know. Oh, I know. He kills me. John, I literally die every time he gets on the stage.

I just like, I get anxiety for him. I mean, if you're a guy with anxiety, how the hell do you think this is my thing? I look at Joe and I'm like, you have so many things. Like, why do you want to get on a stage right now and try to make 500 people laugh? Like, that seems difficult to me. Like, just the fact that you want to make them laugh is going to make them not want to laugh.

Like, that's always like, isn't that stressful? That has to be so stressful for you. It is sometimes stressful, but mine is not traditional stand-up. Like, if I went to an open mic stand-up night, I would definitely just have like a diarrhea explosion. I do more of, minus more of like, you know, I take, it's like an hour and 15, it's a whole show. I play music, I write original songs, I sing, and there's like, you know,

a whole thing. It's like, it's a special, it's almost like a little, like what is that called? Like a little variety show. It is. It is at the other piece. piece and it's but it is really funny. It is stand-up It's just kind of bailed and like presented as like a more the joke is that it seems serious You'll see what I mean. You'll love no. I love it. I can tell I love it. It sounds like a variety show You just recently spoke to Danny Pellegrino, right? Yes. He was on my show. Yeah. The news with John Hill, 8 a.m. Pacific on serious.

There we go. I feel like he also does that kind of thing, right? We're here. Yeah. Does a little bit of everything like that. I love Danny so much. He's so talented. And his book is really good.

Yeah. He's another one that is. He can do everything. He can do it all. And he's the coolest guy. He's very chill. He can do it all. And he's the coolest guy. He's very chill. He's very chill. And he has a really hot car.

He drives like a really studly truck. Does he? Yeah. Wait, were you flirting today? When, like, no? I think he's like very, very taken. But I'm also, I'm so down for friends. Like, I love a good solid friend too.

Well, I think he's one of them. I think he's like a good solid guy. He truly truly is. He's so... I really like him a lot. He recaps our show sometimes and I want to like, I like listen to him and you know what, he's able to just talk by himself for a full hour without having conversation back and forth.

And I'm like, this is pretty talented in itself that I'm still listening to a one-man show. Just speak for an hour. I mean, that takes talent as well. Yeah, and it's like in you or not. Like I'm really comfortable doing my little solo show. And you know, I'm serious. I used to do a show and I had no guess. I just talked for an hour too.

And I was, I loved it. I can totally see you getting away with that. So now you don't only talk with Andy in the morning. You have you have the John Hill show as well Yeah, Tuesday's live at 8 a.m. So I do Andy 7 to 8 and then I'm on 8 tonight by myself with people like Danny So were you just like always did you go to acting school like how you can sing you do music? I see you're on the piano all the time. Like, is there anything you don't do? I don't do, well, I focus on, I do a lot. Let's see, I grew up singing in church.

I was like, always a musical kid. And then I did go to acting school out here in California and then I left to go to Broadway shows toward the country, then it was in New York just doing Broadway for a few years. And yes, what I love to do. You just like have all of these crazy talents. It's insane.

And you know what? I feel like you can be one of those people that can actually like get on and do some type of like variety show or something, I don't know. I could totally see you doing that. And have you ever talked to Bravo about doing something like that on like peacock or anything?

I would like to do the show that I'm doing now. I would like to focus it, keep workshopping it, and within the next year or two, get a special up on peacock for sure. I mean, see that, see? I'm like for seeingseeing these things. Yeah, manifesto Melissa Gorga comes seeking to make us.

I am manifesting. Have you ever had any like crazy run-ins with housewives? Have you ever had anything happen like that where you've met them or had a crazy experience? I ask just so you know, I ask every one of my guests this because somebody always gives me some type of story. I will say, well, listen, having worked at Watch屬 happens like for all those years, I definitely have, but for a lot of them, I was like blacked out. I used to be like a major drug

addict in alcohol. I was like, honestly, that's the major takeaway. That's the L is like for most of those years. I was like maybe blacked out But so I did have a lot of run-ins I think Probably you have to have like one story. Well, the first thing comes to my mind is this summer actually So Mark who I host a discretion advised with Mark McNamara. We did a show. He has a running show on Fire Island every week. And Jill Zaren came and a lot of big housewives came. Meredith Marx was there, Countess Lewin. He had huge, huge people out there. And it takes a lot. You take a ferry to an island for one night to make an appearance. It's not a ton of money. It's like for the love of

the gaze. It's very impressive. But Jill Zaren, I think was our first person and I did the show with him that night. It was like, baby, Labor Day or Memorial Day. And Jill Zaren brought her dog to the club and this club, I mean, always, that dog, I guarantee you cannot hear anything now. That the music was so loud. And I was like, somebody get this dog out of here. And Jill Zaren put on a, I'll send you the video. You just can't share it with anyone. She put on a, I'll send you the video, you just can't share it with anyone. She put on a wig and she lip synced. And then the guys behind her took all their clothes off, all the go-go-boys took, there was like their dicks were out, not even just butt or underwear, just like full, just full frontal, like.

Was she dying? She was living her life, she like got her living her life, the house down, she was into it. And she didn't really register how naked they fully were. And you can see the video, like, it's just like Jill's face trying to lip sync in a really bad wig and then just like helicopter cocks behind her. I cannot, like, this is the experience I just had with you guys

as well, who knew that I just came to the discretion advice podcast with you guys and you know I called Margaret Joseph's and I say hey March I know you love March she came on she came on this show as well with you guys and I said to her I don't know they're asking me to do this podcast like what do you do you think? And she's like, okay, I think you should definitely do it. It's a little naughty. It's gonna be a little, it's gonna be a little naughty. And I was like, well, what do you mean a little naughty? She would not elaborate, because I think she thought

that I was gonna be like, all right, I'm good. Like, I don't know if I can handle this. Or she's like, she just was like, it's a little naughty. It's a little naughty. I, oh, there I go. I bring Joe with me, because we figured, all right, it's in the city. Yeah. It's live. So we'll go to I go. I bring Joe with me because we figured all right. It's in the city Yeah, it's live

So we'll go to the city we'll grab dinner and after it was like I think it was a Friday night Wasn't it or was like a Thursday or Friday night? I Bring Joe guys my listeners listen to me, okay? It was penis after penis after penis up on the screen Yeah, and Joe is sitting next to me and he was such a good sport about it, right? I mean, all sizes of penises, like all, I'm talking all different arrays of penises. I do the show and I'm always shocked by it.

I love it. But like I have to say, I fully was like, wow, I'm just gonna sit here and look at a bunch of penises with my husband right now. Mark thinks it out in people. I'm always surprised. Like on Fire at a bunch of penises with my husband. Mark things it out in people. I'm always surprised. Mark, like on Fire Island, like people come to the show and before you know what, they're taking shots and they're closer off.

And I'm like, what? I mean, I actually had the best time. I did have a couple of cosmos because, you know, I figured out. I'm not. Yeah. Like I'm gonna have to drink a couple of cosmos for this one. Speaking of March, that showed that March did our finale for season one. You did season two.

She did season one. March and Durinda and they took my top off and then Durinda took her, her shirt off and dunked my head in a tank. No, she did not. Yeah. She did. Brown or was she totally booed? She had a bra on.

But it was very surprising. She was like, Oh, his tits are out. I'm going to take mine out too. It's just and that was it one PM. Yours was a Friday night. That one was it one PM a brunch. I can totally see the rent during that. That's just like Margaret never.

And then I heard March senior was there as well. She had a great time. I heard she made out with a boy as well. porn star. Well, you had a porn star there. Also, I met a porn star in the flesh my very first time, right? Rafael. John Rafael. He was you guys warned me He was gonna be funny and he's a character. He's a character like he was great

Like I think he picked me up and swung me around a couple times. I had a really I had a good time We also played a fun game where I picked my own boobs out of like did I not I knew I said that I was so you pressed to kind of critique or to say if it was a butt crack or a cleavage yeah yeah and I said that is a jersey girls over a tanned cleavage and it was me and you're a jersey girl yeah right now like I call my boobs out from anywhere I had a feeling that that those are my tits you know you were such a good guest I mean such a good good sport. That's when it's supposed to be fun. It is naughty, but we're respectful. You know, nobody has to do anything they don't want to do.

Social media is exhausting. I mean, I love it. The memes, the drama, the T. So I started a podcast to digest all that is going on and give you an opportunity to just sit back and soak it all in. The Perez Hilton Podcast. We talk trending topics, cultural reset, and in case you miss it. So if this sounds like your world, your cup of tea, give my podcast a listen. The Perez Hilton Podcast, available wherever you get your podcasts. Well, I think there's something to say about you being so well-rounded like from being on in the

morning to like going to these types of podcasts to the singing. What's next for you? So like, what are you working on right now? Honestly, I just, so I do my show every month in New York and I always try to add a new song, swap one out. I'm really trying to workshop it every month to make it the best I can be. And then I do want to turn it into a, you know, some sort of TV special. But if you want you to come, you got to give me your notes. Oh, I'm totally, totally coming. I know I'm going to love it, but I'm coming.

You're also going to be at the Dynasty typewriter. Is it not like a huge comedic spot to be at the very iconic? In LA, it's where I wanted to end up when I first already doing the show. Almost a year ago, this is where I wanted to get to. So we're making progress. Okay.

Yeah. Well, I need to ask you a little bit about pop culture for one second, because I really, I need to ask you a little bit about pop culture for one second. I really, I need to know like your thoughts on this. I was literally talking about this today. I had, hence all the full glam that I'm in today. I have. You look so cute. Thank you.

I had an interview for our show today. You know, when we sit there and the confessionals and like the talking heads. And we were discussing this and I said, I'm going to ask John, his opinion on this too. So I'm a Britney fan. I do love Britney. Same, always for life. I just am trying to figure out like, what do you think the reason for all the sexual dance on Instagram is?

I think that is how she was as a young teenager coming into her womanhood. I think that that was what was drilled into her head as this is what your worth is based on. Your worth is based on your sexuality. So at this point, she's trying to either prove her worth or reimagine it. But I think it's part of maybe she's wrestling with you know at her core I think she was told your worth is based in sex

Right, which is which is so sad and which you know, she was hypersexualized We all kind of contributed to it like people respond a culture responded to her by appreciating her hypersexualized image as a literal 16 year old. Exactly. So was Jessi Simpson, Christina Aguilera. I feel like that was that whole era, right? That everyone was kind of, it was like the young pop girls just with that. So when we started seeing like all the little, the little half tops and the bellies out and the belly button rings. I heard some cultural critics be a woman speaking about it. And she was saying, you have to remember,

it's not at the time it was innocent because that was music for other little 16 year old girls. The people who had an issue with it were weird old people who were like, this is so hypersexualized. But like at the time it was, that was music for little girls to feel empowered to feel like I'm gonna go to school and be like sexy. It wasn't, I'm going to be a teenage prostitute for old men. It was, we're going to feel sexy today at class. It was, it's supposed to be empowering, but I think that

might have gotten maybe miscommunicator, misconstrued now that she's a four-year-old woman, like trying to reconcile maybe what her identity is. Right. I know. And I, you know, I read something that she said, she trusted, like Paris Hilton is one of the people that she completely trusted and really wanted to talk to. I think she said on Andy Cohen the other day, Paris, that Brittany was the last person who text her. Yeah. Which I love that.

I love that they still keep in touch. And what do you think about Taylor and Kelsey? Are you down with it? Do you think I'm down with it? Are you obsessed with it? I don't know if it'll last forever, but I'm into it right now. I think he's so hot. I love her. I love her music. I know it's basic bitch of me to say that, but I do. I don't care. I love it. I love air as I saw the tour. I love it. And he's so handsome. He has such a cute smile. And he's like, they're so cute together. They should be together. Why not? I agree. I feel like they look like they belong together.

Like they're the cutest couple. And the last thing I need to watch is this Beyonce thing. I haven't watched it yet. Did you see it yet? I'm in such deep trouble because I didn't go to the actual tour. And I regret it every second of my life. Do you know I didn't either and so do I. I feel so stupid. And I also feel dumb for not having gone to the movie that I was supposed to go to the other night. And I went to therapy instead because if I canceled, I would have been charged $175.

So I didn't go to the movie, my friends asked me to. So I still have to see it. Unbelievable. So do I. And I'm like upset that I haven't seen it yet. But I feel also dumb that I did not go to that tour and didn't see that live I feel like that was up that's a big regret that I'm having right now I can't we can we go to like Venice Whale or something isn't it somewhere? I mean, let's make a date

Okay, I think she's where she's Patagonia. She'll I have no idea. It's not happening for me You know these three kids over here, you can just like pick up, go where you need to go. Like it's insanity over here in this world. Oh my God, Melissa, I'm playing with the ring light that you told me about. I got one. Wait, do you know how many people I sell this?

I should make, this should be my own personal little square lights. You guys, he's holding up this light that it's just, I call it the pretty light. You touch it right to your phone. How cute is that? Have you been using it? There you go. I haven't been using it as much as I should be, but like, no, because it really works. You don't, you know, the problem is you're not wearing, you don't bring a purse with you. So it fits right into a little pocketbook. Whenever you're going to take a picture, you just bust it out, it makes your eyes wider,

makes you smile wider. The name is magical. I was really, I was just playing with it, like fidgeting with it. I really, I got that from you. Do you love that? I love it. And I got that from Larza Pippin, by the way.

She's, she busted it out overnight at dinner and I was like, what the hell is this? It's a clip on, you can clip it onto your phone and just be like serving CUNT. You know what guys, I'm gonna put it up on my Instagram for all of you guys to click on because I just feel like every person needs it. It's kind of like a little cheat.

It's a little cheat way to like look cute in your photos. But anyway, John, thank you so much for coming on today. Thank you. I could not love you more. I loved having you. You're just like easy, breezy, good you. I could not love you more. I loved having you. You're just like easy, breezy, good people. I'm coming to your shows. I'm 1,000% coming.

I'm going to pass to you with the dates and make sure you know. Yeah. Make sure you do. I may make sure you give me all of the info. Everybody, you got to listen to John in the morning. From 7 to 8, he's on with Andy. Yeah.

And from 8 to 9, he's on the John Hill show, right? Your own show. Yeah, on Tuesday. There's lots of John to go around. Thank you so much for coming on today. I'm in official Gorgas stand. Oh my God, love it. Yes, you got to be.

That's, you had to stand on the right side of his show. Told Joe hello and then he's a gay icon. I will. Do you know I hear him walking around? He's, he's here. I hear, I'm going gonna go tell the gay icon You said hi and it's gonna explode through the door. I will make sure I do that all right do it All right, thank you, John so good to see you. Thank you. See you soon. Bye honey. Bye Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

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