On Display with Melissa Gorga - The Cosmo Queens (w/ Tara Bogota)

Episode Date: September 19, 2024

It's a special family episode! Melissa takes off the host shoes this week as she sits down with her incredible cousin, Tara Bogota, to have a girl-to-girl talk.  As a parent, how do you move towards the point where you can trust your kids on their own? As a cousin, how do you make sure your family stays tight, especially as drama tries to break in from the outside?  As two health nuts, how do you balance wellness and being Cosmo Queens?  The ladies answer these questions and much more. Plus, Tara shares a hilarious story about going under the knife, and how the family reacted before anything actually happened.  This week's sponsors: Apartments.com - The Place to Find a Place: Apartments.com Babbel - Language Learning that Actually Works: Babbel.com/ONDISPLAY (Up to 60% off!) Hero Bread - Fluffy, Delicious Bread and Zero Net Carbs: Hero.co , promo code: MELISSA (10% off!) Ibotta - Cash Back on Nearly Every Purchase: Use Promo code "Display" at Ibotta.com or download in the Apple Store or Google Play Store ($5 free for registering) PlutoTV – Hit TV Shows and Movies, Free: Pluto.TV  Progressive - "Name-Your-Price" Tool: Progressive.com

And I'm like, oh my God, is it wrong that I got a little excited? Am I the only one? I want them together. What's up, guys? Welcome to another episode of On Display with Melissa Gorga. I'm actually so excited about this episode today. But before I roll into who my guest is, I need to remind everyone that On Display now

has its own Instagram, it's On Display with MG, and we post all the live clips and, you know, all the guests that come in, we post it on our Instagram and on our TikTok page. So make sure you guys go right now and follow on display with Melissa Gorga on Instagram so you could see what we look like. Like don't you want to see what I'm wearing guys? Even though half the time I'm a hot mess when I do this podcast. So yes, and I also just want to take a minute to thank all of my Envy customers

and just shout out to that. And don't forget to head over to EnvybyMG.com. We have the most incredible fall things in like the sweaters, the new jeans, the jumpsuits, the skirts with the high boots. You guys will die over my new arrivals, so make sure you head over there too. But let's get into my guests today because this is the sort of episode that means the most to me, because I feel like I get to step out of my host seat actually for a minute and just catch up with some of my family. So today I have one of the best people I know. She's a successful businesswoman. She's a mom. She's an incredible cousin, and she's Envy's number one customer, everyone. Please welcome one of my favorite people, my amazing cousin, Tara Bogota.

Hello. I'm so excited to be back in the seat again with you. I know. I'm so excited to have you today. How does it feel to be Envy's number one customer? Feels great. And you're always keeping me fresh. And it's like, it's the one thing I don't have to think about in my mom brain is what I'm wearing because I just go to your page and swipe up. I know. It's so true. And I always say this about Tara, guys. She is the ultimate shopper. So when you guys have that one girlfriend or that like one person in the family that like, even if you're like sitting out in the sun, if you're by the pool, if you're laying on the beach, if she's at a soccer game, she's like with her children,

she also is online shopping. She's the girl who like the Instagram ads, she's going to get it. They get me. And now TikTok too gets you. I'm like a TikTok shop. I need that. Are you all over the TikTok shop as well? Yeah, they have a lot of good stuff. You should check it out. I'm telling you. I know. You're the ultimate shopper and you're really good at it too. And I feel like you're very educated in products and what to get. You're very good with skincare and what's good for you and what's not good for you. You're great at all of that stuff. Thank you. I love to shop. Yeah, you do. But first off, we had a lot

of questions. I did ask. I asked everybody for questions that they wanted to hear. First of all, I just think this is going to be such a fun to my listeners, to my mal listeners. You guys need some girl talk from me sometimes. Girl talk. Yes. And I can't always do that with Joe Gorga. So Tara, just like we'll give you a little bag. You guys want to know how we're related. Tara, you want to give the story of how we're related? Oh, sure. So a long time ago, our dads are brothers.

Our dads are brothers. We're first cousins and we've been close our whole life. Even though we have an age gap, it really never affected us. We just, the age gap keeps getting smaller and smaller, which is so interesting. And we always say like, our daughters one day, they'll be close. They don't know it now, but they're going to be. Yes. So Tara and I are like six years apart-ish. Tara's birthday is in November. So we're about like six years apart, but we have been, I will honestly say, best friends

since the day she was born. Me as a six-year-old just thought she was like my toy and I kind of never put her down and I have so many videos like just dancing with her and videoing. Yeah. We're literally, she's been in my life my whole life and literally one of my biggest confidants honestly and one of my best friends. Yeah, so our dads are brothers and her father is actually my godfather for the free, you know, for whoever doesn't know out there. Father and mother are mine.

Yes. I got so many questions. Obviously, Tara, you know that people love to watch our family. We're very tight. We're a big group of cousins. We have my two sisters, your brother, our other cousins that are our first cousins. We are a very tight knit family. Why? Help me explain why we're so tight. Well, we grew up with an aunt that always kept us together, the matriarch, the oldest, the sister of the brothers. Yes. And she always brought us together. Aunt Llewellyn. Yeah. Aunt Llewellyn, she always made things fun and we always wanted to be with each other. And I think because we could truly be our full selves with one another and be completely vulnerable, we could

give each other feedback. We are so honest and our opinions matter to one another so much. Like I value what you have to say and we all value each other and we all look out for each other. So I think that's why we are friends by choice, not all cousins, our best friends, they're just family. They see each other a couple of times a year. We generally go out of our way

to make sure we're seeing each other. We miss each other when we're not with each other. It's really beautiful. Everyone sees it and they're like, you're so lucky that you and your cousins are so close. I'm like, you know what? You're right. It's not something you take for granted. Right. It isn't. I do feel like we're lucky, but we can't always say it's luck. We all put a lot of... I don't want people out there saying, they're just lucky. No, guys, we work on our family a lot in this family. Recently, Tara, I think it was you put in our... So we

have a quarantine cousins group chat. A group chat. Yes, which I think you guys- Or during COVID. Yeah, which we've during COVID and I think I've talked about this before on the podcast guys, but even recently, I want to say it was you, Tara, just put in there like, we are so due for a cousin's night. Let's go put something on the calendar. Yeah, we're good at that. We all get out our calendars. We put something out there in advance.

We plan in advance. It's fall. We're all excited. We're like, let's pick a Sunday fun day and come up north and go to your house and do Sunday dinner or come see one of the boys' football games. And we plan in advance. We're all so busy, especially you.

And I think we make that effort to really make sure that we are seeing each other. Yeah. And I do love what you say. I love that you said cousins are friends by choice, right guys? Because we all know we can't pick our family. God knows. But you can choose to make a cousin a friend. And I just think that's huge, right? Like it's huge to say like we are friends by choice, not cousins by choice, which that's like, that's like a, that's a big thing. And I think that's why, you know, people on Instagram, obviously they look at the outside looking in, they just see this fun, which we all just have like fun through our veins. Also, we're just like fun people as well. We like to party.

I feel like you're one of the only housewives too, that I truly feel like brings her family around to like everything. Like you have an event, it goes in the group chat. We all know about it. Like you are constantly filling us in and I'm like, I don't really know if I follow all the housewives. I don't really know if I know of any of their cousins or aunts and uncles the way we do things, you know? Right. No, it's true. It's true. I feel like I have brought in my outside family probably more than anyone. And it's crazy because people actually recognize you guys and see you guys. I know. At the envy fashion show, it was crazy. I had people come out to me like, are you cousin Tara? I'm like, yes. And I'm more of

the private one. I always, this is your wheelhouse. You were meant for this. I could never. I love watching you behind the scenes. Like you're good at it. But when people say it to me, I'm like, Oh my god, that's so weird. Well, speaking of that, and just the fame of it all, obviously, you've known me way before the Real Housewives of New Jersey. What do you think has the fame or being famous now, what do you think it's changed about our family? And what do you think has changed about me? What are the biggest changes in me?

And you're allowed to rip me today if you want. You can say good or bad. I'm fine with it. I think it's made things super exciting. How cool is it to have a cousin on reality TV that people recognize when we're out. That's really cool. I think what is awesome, it's created this platform for you to like become this business woman that you just like never really knew was inside of you. You went to school for teaching, you did the mommy years, you had the little ones, I watched you do that and then I wanted to do that. But you know, it had this beast came

out of you, this girl opening a boutique and doing the podcast, all this stuff. So that's been really cool. I don't think it's, if anything, it's made us more protective and look out for one another. Like the other day I saw something, a video made about you on the internet and I was like, what is this? Oh my God. Well, yeah, like Melissa, this girl is saying you had all this stuff done to your face, eyebrow

lift, this and that. I'm like, this is not true. So I commented it to her. I was like, Melissa has not done any of that, but she will own what she has done. Yeah. And that like, and then, you know, but I always will text you first. I'm like, can I comment this? Or sometimes I just go for it.

I'm like, I don't care. I'm speaking up for my cousin, but little things like that. But that was funny the other day that happened. It was right after we had lunch, you and I, this is when we were having our girl talk saying, we need to do a podcast. People just need to hear what we talk about at lunch. And then I called you up like, someone's claiming you had all this stuff done. And you didn't. No, literally, Tara, we went for a girl's lunch, her and I, and within like four hours, she starts texting me, guys, I don't know if you know, I'm not sure the exact doctor's

name on social media, but there is a woman on social media that kind of puts up before and after and she's a doctor. She was on the OC Housewives. Jen, she's really nice. Oh, I didn't know that. She was an OC Housewife. Jen, she's really nice. Oh, I didn't know that. She was an OC Housewife? Yeah, for a minute. Oh my God. I did not realize she was on the OC.

Yeah. You're just on the chopping block this week. She's been doing it to everybody. And she does it nicely. She wasn't mean, but she assumed you had eyebrow lift. I'm like, go see Melissa's eyebrow girl. She does a really good job. Wait a second. I was dying because Tara sends this to me guys and she's like, look, do you guys know what it feels like to have someone literally put your face, two different photos of your face, by the way, and usually they pick the absolute worst lighting photo that you ever took a picture with and they put the photos side by side, right? And then it's like, they're taking a finger and marking your face up and they're like, well, her forehead

is this, her eyes have been done underneath. Just fun fact, yes, I've had Botox. Yes, I've had my nose done. Yes, I've had my lips done. That is it. That is all. And I am not the type, like I will tell you, I know that I wasn't like wanting to scream from the rooftops about my nose when I first got it done. And I do think that was my own worries about having a young daughter and just being on reality TV. And it was also, yes, yes, I felt like, can I have one thing that's private? I don't want my young daughter to hear this. I was weird with my daughter even knowing that I had a boob job. I have always been very protective of my kids' innocence.

That was always huge for me. You've done a good job with it. Thank you. Just because you're trying to stay healthy doesn't mean you have to cut out all of the carb heavy foods you love. The hero bread reinvented the bread and buns that make staying healthy easy. Fluffy delicious flavor and texture with no net carbs, zero grams of sugar and fewer calories plus protein and fiber.

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Yeah. So that's why I was hiding it in the... Because I'm really not the type to hide anything. I'll tell you anything I've done. That was my only thing that took me a minute. And obviously, Jacqueline Rita told my... Well, she lied. I did not have four by any means, but she ran out there and said it. And I was annoyed because I was like, it's not your story to tell. When I'm ready to say this, I will. And I was just, now we're going back 15 years. But the bottom line is this, you know, Jen, I think her name was Jennifer Armstrong.

Yeah. She literally was like, well, she filled in all, or she had her dark circles done under her eyes. I don't have dark circles. That's not what I, it was just like, it was a picture that we all only knew too with you and anti-aging, like that you are a savage on the beach. I've never seen anything like it. Now I'm taking a place from your book because a page from your book because anywhere we go, the second we get settled, you are like, I need an umbrella. I need shade.

You are covering yourself up. You are working the angles from here up. You don't let the sun touch your body. Like it's impressive because you don't mess around. Like I'll get a couple, like a 40 minutes in and I'm like, oh, I should hide from the sun. Not you, like you don't even like, you would think you're allergic to it.

Hell no, hell no. To me, it is a toxin. It is like, and you know, Tara will tell you like, I will literally call over every little, like, I'll call every cabana boy. Yeah, I will literally call over every little- Every cabana boy. Joe Morgan digging a hole, puts one in and you're like, I need another one, Joe. Puts another one in. You're like, it's locked on both angles. It's something I've never seen before, but you're very good at the anti-aging stuff.

Thank you. And that's everyone's biggest question with me all the time is how do you remain staying young? How do you keep your skin this way? Why do you look so young? Like yada yada. And this is why guys, I am a psycho in the sun, a psycho. I would never have told the story the way you did to her because it's so true. Like when you explain it.

Oh, you're so funny. You were like, there's a new beach chair from Shark Tank. I have to get it. It has a shade chair from Shark Tank. I have to get it. It has a shade for over the head. I have to have it. I'm like, she's right. I just need to start doing that too. But that's why. So see, I'm rubbing off on people, guys. Trust me, the sun, it's a real thing. I know it sounds so cliche, but it's a real thing. I do not allow sun to touch my face. And if it does for more than five or 10 minutes, I get anxiety. Like I literally have- You do. You're like crazy. But you don't even let it touch your deck, let's say. Like you're

really, really disciplined and good at it. And you do good skincare, which I'm all about. So good for you. I'm big on skincare. And guys, I always say this ladies, like your neck is connected to your face. There, you can always tell a lady's age from her neck and from her hands, right? So I put sunblock on my hands because when you're driving the same way, I- That's true too. Yeah, right, Tari? We have to treat our necks the same as we treat our faces. It's all one thing here, right?

Yep. Exactly. Yeah. So just to get back to that guys, and I'm not ripping this woman at all. She was very nice. I actually got a text from Donna Margo the same day I got a text from Tara. That's my godmother and I were on the same page. Yep. And Tara, you were more frantic. This woman is discussing your whole entire face and you didn't even get your brows done. You didn't even do that. I was saying, I didn't even get my brows done. Donna had a complete different reaction. Donna's like, oh my God, you have to see this. She said, you're so good. You don't need anything else. My mom took it in

such a positive, which she did. She said whatever she did, she did it very subtly and she did a great job. I'm like, no, you mean I never did it at all yet. And there's nothing wrong with it. There's nothing wrong with needing it when the time comes. Oh my God, guys, don't get me twisted. I will do all of those things. I will do every single thing the woman said when the time comes. Yeah. So this is not me hating on it or saying I won't do it. I am guaranteeing you that I do it all. Everything. Everything. But I just haven't done it yet. I really haven't. But that just goes to show you, right, Tara, like even if you have a photo of yourself, one you can look fantastic, the next one you can look like shit. And that's the sucky

side of fame. They can pull the craziest pictures and shit off the internet and make you feel like, I think we all look better. I think we all get better with age though. It's crazy. Like me, first season of The Housewives, like when you feel the christening, I look back at pictures. I'm like, seriously? You're like, you, what about me with my jet black hair? I feel like we all get better. Yeah. That's definitely a perk from you being on TV.

The group chat will send each other screenshots. Are we really dressed like that? Yeah. It's the outfits. It was so much blingier back then. Everything is like, it's so bedazzled. It's just- Yeah. It's just crazy. We've come a long way. Yeah. But with that said, Tara and I have absolutely no... We love plastic surgery.

We love it. We are down for it. We love it. I mean, Tara, you have a really fun plastic surgery story, and I know you're so shy about this. I don't know why, but I would love for you to share it with the listeners, and this is why I want you to share it, Tara. It's very relatable, this story, and it's like every young... Listen, you're in the young mom stage. Tara's in that stage still, guys, which I want to kind of go... We'll talk about this separately, and we'll talk about the friends and being in the young mom stage and just the different stages of life, right? But you got to tell your plastic surgery story first before we move on.

Well, I think it like the takeaway from this, the story is that I'm like an over thinker in recovery and I, oh, I can't make, I struggle with making decisions. Like you, like, you know what you want to do and you do it. Whereas I text the whole family group chat to get their opinion. I drive myself crazy. You do that with everything in life though. Literally. But I'm getting so much better at it. And it's like surrounding yourself with people that are good at it makes you want to be like that, right? That's so true. And that's one thing you and I are a lot alike, but we couldn't be more opposite when it comes

to making a decision. Like two total opposites. Totally. Yeah. Go ahead. Tell us your story. Well, no. I did.

I had three kids. I had twins. I have little Nicholas who's almost five and your body changes after kids and you kind of lose what you had. And I just wasn't feeling good in my clothes and just wanted a little enhancement. We're talking about boobs, guys. This is a breast augmentation. And you're like, it's nothing. So literally I come from a family. I think everyone in the entire group chat has them but me and like two of like the new mommies don't because they're not there yet but they're going to want them one day.

Yes. And I analyzed this, I canceled it, I rescheduled it, I made you all crazy. I went to consult after consult and the day of my surgery like on the 11th hour waiting, waiting, waiting because the doctor had to do like an emergency mammogram on the patient before me. So I was just there for hours waiting, thinking, driving myself crazy, changing the CC size, all the things. I feel like I have to tell. Guys, she drove- I was on the OR table and I got off of it. No, she drove us insane. Nobody has any idea. First of all, we had to hear about her getting these implants

for months, and I mean months, if not a year straight, right? And then it was like, I'm going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm not going to do it. And then what size? What size? What size? And then we would get photos 24 hours a day of boobs that she likes and boobs and this, I went to this doctor, I went to that doctor, consultations like- I was so scared. Oh my God. And this is, listen, it's relatable, but she was told when she went for her consultation, listen, because you're starting with a smaller breast, you have the tissue there, right? And that she needed to go a little bit larger. Yeah. They were just gone from kids. I breastfed twins. I pumped like it just changed it changed

everything. Yeah. And I made myself crazy. And literally the day of the surgery, I got off the table and said, Can I make one last phone call? And it was to your sister. And she said, Tara, get on the table. I'm not doing this anymore. She's like, it's the easiest surgery in America. You will be fine. And I was like, okay. And I went back in and then I said, okay, you could give me the IV. She literally said, hang up the phone and get on the table because Tara literally right up, we had to like, like we were like, Tara, just do it because we don't we're so sick of hearing you talk about it. She jumped off the O R table to call us one more time to make sure that she was doing the right thing. I had to phone a family member, phone a friend. It was, it wasn't good. But here I am. And I wanted super small, right? I just wanted to fill back up.

You wanted the absolute smallest implant that was actually made. I think that's actually what I got. You did, which she's not sure. And the doctor did recommend going a size up. They're like, I think you even said Tara, the doctor was like, we've never actually put an implant this small in anyone before. Yep. They were like, this is the tiniest we've ever did. But at the end of the day, you just have to go with your gut when you want to do something and stop worrying. I think I was worried about, I don't even know

who I thought would judge me, because everybody I know has them. I just was freaking myself out, and I think that has a lot to do with having a little anxiety, which is something I work on. Right. I'm so jealous of people that aren't anxious, but you know, it's we're an anxious generation

and I'm getting better at it for sure. I'm like, you don't sweat shit, Melissa. I'm like, you don't worry about nothing. Like I love that. I don't know why I'm like that. I don't know. I think with wisdom, experience, life experience. It's also a personality trait.

You're kind of born that way. I was a guy was just a daredevil from day one. I was the girl who, you remember, we all grew up in the town. Tom's River, all my girlfriends still live there. I was like 16. I'm out. See you guys later in New York City every night at 16. You just do things.

You left. You're like, I'm out of here. I'm like, wow, that takes so much to do. It's brave. It's being brave. It comes from being confident. Yeah. Well, I guess so of here. I'm like, wow, like that takes so much to do. It's brave. It's being brave and being confident. Yeah. Well, I guess so. Yes. And it's also just like, I'm a risk taker. I believe that if you don't take risks, you're not going to move and shake and like, you're not going to grow. And I kind of, I get bored very fast. We all know the best way to learn a language, immersion, which is living where the language is

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How old are all, how old are the twins now? They're nine and then Nicholas is four going on five soon. Yeah. So Nicholas is- Busy household. Yes, busy household. You're a working mom. Tara owns what? Two dry bars, one in Tom's River, one in Wall Township. Yeah. And then hand in stone throughout. And then my husband and Nick own the Sweat 440s that we hope and open to own more of them in New Jersey

but a lot of your viewers were asking us about workouts and stuff which Yes, is something that you and I love to do on vacation. We will find a gym find a class Oh, we love oh we have to we like to eat we like to drink We like wine like you got it. You always say lift heavy, get a heavy weight. I always, I give my workout advice. So that's, we might as well get into it because a lot of the questions that I got repeated over and over when I asked what they wanted to hear us talk about was diet, exercise, and wellness.

Everyone wants to know, Tara, why they always see our family and they see me drinking wine. We and you are always drinking a Cosmo. We always have food everywhere we go. We eat everything. And I do think the answer to that is literally, guys, we work out as hard as we do so that we can eat what we eat. Is that fair to say, Tara? Totally fair.

And your sisters are like beasts in the gym. Like when they go and I meet them up with them for like a sweat class, I'm like, damn, I'm like, this hopefully means I have these jeans too. And I can throw weights around and run and do what your sisters do in the gym because your health is your wealth and working out and women especially, I feel like it's so hard as you get older to create muscle and it's just so important to take care of yourself. And if you could work out by all means, go to the gym because it's a blessing, right? It is a blessing.

And I always try to tell everyone when you guys ask me, what are you eating? Talk to me about diet and exercise. And I feel like I'm not giving you like a straight answer. I want to answer you. But what Tara just said was actually very true too. So we do a lot of family vacations together. Tara and I will go on our Christmas vacation together with our kids and we do a lot of like Hamptons weekends together, quick little like weekend trips. Tara and I are always the first ones up in the morning getting our Starbucks, getting well, she likes Dunkin', I like Starbucks.

Me and Joe Gorga. But even if we put sneakers on and just go for a walk, or we rent bikes and we go on a bike ride, you just got to move, you know? Yeah. It should feel better. No. And then it's all about balance, just making healthy choices and not overeating, but also not depriving yourself, right?

Exactly. So for me, it's all about portion control. I truly never say no to anything. Like if you're going to put a dessert on the table, I am not going to say, no, I'm on a diet. I can't have that. What I will do is I will have a couple pieces of it, probably not eat the whole piece. Sometimes I'll eat the whole piece, but guess what else I'll do? When I wake up in the morning, I'm going to the gym. So this is why when you guys ask me, how do you eat that? Are you eating that pasta? Are you doing this? Yes, I am. I'm not eating a huge portion of it. I'm tasting it. I'm always tasting everything. I'm eating a little bit of everything, but I'm most importantly getting up and going to the gym after.

I don't know about you, Tara, but as I get older, I have realized that going to the, if I skip the gym, my stomach hurts, my body doesn't feel good. And it mentally makes you feel better. Like I feel like I can just go with the day knowing that I like check that off my list and I feel more energized. I feel good. Like it just, it's a mental thing too, as much as it's physical. It is. the day knowing that I like check that off my list and I feel more energized. I feel good. It's a mental thing too, as much as it's physical. It is. It's a complete mental thing. I almost feel proud of myself. Okay, so whatever else you do today is fine because you did the most important

thing, which was exercise your body and mind and moving on. I know it sounds cliche guys, but I don't know how else to explain that that is literally... And listen, I know everyone has a different stage of working out. I would say I'm probably, and my sisters, we work out the hardest. I lift very heavy weight, but everyone has to work out for their body type, right? Don't I always tell you, Tara, pick up the heavier weights? Pick up the heavier one. I know. I'm back in knee issues, but I modify when needed. But you're right.

Well, and you don't necessarily have to do heavy weights. My body type, I'm a little bit more, I'm like tiny, right? So I want to build my butt bigger. I want to make my thighs. I want to see the quads. I want to see all these things. So that's why I do weighted workouts that mix in like a little bit of cardio. And guys, Sweat 440s, I don't know if you have any in your area. They are awesome for I do weighted workouts that mix in like a little bit of cardio and guys sweat for 40s. I don't know if you have any in your area. They are awesome for it. Tara's husband owns a couple of them along with Tara's brother Nick and we love so I

the reason I love a group fitness workout is for the music and just you're not going to quit right if you're in there you're moving station to station you're sweating it out the music's playing I love a good I love a good sweat 440 workout. No, it's a great workout and it's super convenient for busy moms or busy anybody, busy business people, workers, doctors, whatever. Classes are available every 10 minutes. You can jump in a live class, which is what I love. Super convenient, never late. And you also have those in Tom's River and Wall, correct? Just Tom's River and Ocean.

And then it's a brand that you can find in Miami, New York, and we're hoping to continue to build it in New Jersey. So it's exciting. And hopefully up by you, I know you want one by you. Yes, I keep saying we need one in Franklin Lakes, let's go. I would go all the time. I think another thing that's important too about working out is like our husbands do it too. And it's nice that you can push each

other and like on vacation, you can go to a gym together, you can go for a walk together. Like remember we went biking in the Hamptons with Joe and Danny, like that was so fun. It's good when you have your partner on the same health kick and journey as you. A thousand percent. Like that's huge because if one's doing it and the other one's not, it does suck because you feel like you're pushing someone or you're belittling them that they're not working out with you.

So the couple that works out together stays together. Isn't that what they say now? They say plays together stays together. Right? I don't feel your lines. What's your favorite cheat food? Like what are my eating habits? When you go to watch me, Tara, tell the people, what do I do?

Why do I- You love sugar. If I'm going back to childhood and even as you and your twin, whatever, even now, you'll love a good fruit roll-up. Oh, yeah, baby. You are sugar, and me, it's like bread, cheese, pasta, pizza. That is my holy grail. Give me all the fruit ropes and devil dogs that anyone has ever- Yes. You're like a kid.

Yes. I want all kid food. Just before I got on this podcast, I was like, I just wish I had some sweet tarts. I just want to sit and eat sweet tarts right now. Oh my God. See how different we are. I'm like, no, I'd rather twirl my fork. Okay. Well, I want to talk a little bit just about stages of life because you and I have always discussed this, I feel like. So I feel like this is the girl talk that I wanted to have with my mal listeners listening because it's such a relatable story about how you go through different stages of life as a mom, right? And just as a wife. And I feel like, you know, I always was a little ahead of you, right? So my kids are always going to be six

years older than yours. And so like, for instance, you have nine-year-old, I have a 14-year-old. Like it's just, we've always, I've always been a couple steps ahead and watching, you know, and I'll always, guys, I have so many fun stories about Tara coming over too, just as like a 20-year-old ready to party with me still because let's not forget that like, or maybe we're 18 because at the time I'm like 24, 25 with a baby. I know. It was so fun to watch you and your element. I loved it. She was watching me in my element, like married, making the house, like doing like, you know, doing what you're supposed to do in life after when you get older and like building the house

and the husband and the kids and the cars. And I'm watching her like, Oh, I want to come to the club. Like totally. I'm like, I want to do what you're doing. And you're like, I want to go out with you. I know. So it is crazy. And I do want to talk to you about different. You're like, I want to go out with you. I know. So it is crazy. And I do want to talk to you about different stages of life because you are so

good at this. This is one thing that I feel like you're very like knowledgeable about and like you have so Tara lives in like a neighborhood and guys, you guys know how it is for all my younger moms out there that are listening. Like when you first start having your children and they first start going to to elementary school and that's what happens, right? It's very important because you're like, who am I going to be friends with? Who's going to be my mom group? Who is like, I want them to accept me. Oh, I want to be friends with those moms because they drink wine on Sunday nights while their kids play on the playground or no, I'm just saying you do.

And it's a real fact, like, oh, I want to be friends with those moms. They're like the cool moms. And it gets so stressful. And I know this just from, I won't mention any other names, but other girlfriends I have that are kind of in that stage of life right now that are very funny about, like, you start to almost make reservations, right, for dinner with these moms around town and moms in school and hope that your husband likes their husband and isn't it a huge time to just start like making friends and trying to figure out like if you want all these friends

or not? Yeah, it's fun. And then it's like a little exhausting. Yeah. But I think it's that phase of life. I mean, you and I've always had a lot of friends and like different groups and like bring people together. Yeah. So, you know, but I feel like you find your people like in the beginning, you have to navigate it. And that's if you want that, like not everybody wants that whole social. Some people just stick to themselves. Right. I like people and I'm really social. So like, I like to kind of get to know everybody. But I, and I also don't like change, but I'm realizing that years with your kids are always fleeting.

Like eventually they want to hang out with who they want to hang out with. And you kind of are losing control where you are in control of who we get to spend our time with other families. Because it really is fleeting and it just goes by so fast, but you kind of just figure out because it really is fleeting and it just goes by so fast, but you kind of just figure out who your people are. And best thing I ever learned, even though I hate change, is that season, reason, lifetime. That's when people come into your life, right? Yep. You always have to know that.

Some things are just the season and others are for a reason. Maybe I had to teach you a lesson or maybe you needed that friend in your life for that particular moment in time to go through something. And then you have your lifers, right? And you know who yours are, I know who mine are, and it's just a good place to be. Imagine an app designed to make you use it less seems counterproductive, no? Well, Apartments.com's instant alert feature works exactly that way. Instead of scanning rental listings a million times a day, simply set and forget your search to whatever you're looking for in a place and let Apartments.com do the rest. From pet-friendly apartments to balconies to in-unit ACs, Apartments.com's powerful

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So you were going through all of this and I was kind of watching you kind of move to a new neighborhood. You're like, I'm going to keep up with you. I'm like me either. I'm going to slow it down, I promise. Oh my gosh. Well, by the way, Tara lives in the most fun neighborhood. She lives in such a cute neighborhood where there's just a lot of young moms and young

kids that play together and they come up with these, they call it the OC actually. Yeah. It's so funny. It's so meant to be for me. Yes. They have a lot of fun things for the kids. We do hay rides and all these things and it's really cute and I love it. But you can't keep up and do everything. Life is all about finding balance and eventually your time is limited and you only want to

spend it with who you're able to. When it's limited free time, you have to be really selective with that. Right. And I feel like I'm in this phase right now of like, I really just rather be with my kids and hanging with my friends who they're friends with and just hang out like that. I really just rather be with my kids and hanging with my friends who they're friends with and just hang out like that. I feel like that's my favorite place to be right now, because pretty soon my older ones aren't going to want to be with us, which is heartbreaking. Which is where I'm at right now. See, you're kind of lucky. I always looked at my sisters and their stages, even though my sisters are 10 years older than me. So it was a little bigger in between stage, right?

Yeah, totally. You can kind of watch me and my kids are just like six years ahead of yours and the stage of life that I'm in is a little ahead of yours. So I feel like you also watch where I'm at and you get lucky because you're like, look, pretty soon you're going to see little Joey when we're on vacation, doesn't want to hang with us anymore. Now he's running off to find this friend. He's over there. He's on his phone. He's whatever. And so it's good that you get to kind of foresee like, all right, that's going to happen soon. So you're going to eat up every moment with your babies right now. You know, you want

to teach them to be independent and go off on their own and all those things, but it's also sad. Right. It is. It's sad and it's kind of where I'm at, honestly. I thank God my kids are still around me so much. They want to be with us all the time. We go to dinner with them.

That's the ultimate goal, right? You want them to want to always go back to you. I just said to you the other day, I'm like, you did such a good job with Antonia because I feel like you don't have a reason to really truly worry about her. And you're like, because I know she's responsible. So like, wow, what a great thing. And we all think that of her too, which is a huge testament to how you raised her and that she is going to make smart decisions in college. Right. And the truth is like, how do you as a parent find a way to trust your child on their own? And how, you know, how?

And the question is, how did Joe and I even build that, I guess, with our kids and Antonia? And I do think I have a slight answer to this. Again, I don't know if it's cliche, but I promise you guys and Tara, you as my witness, we spend a lot of time with our children, a lot. And I don't baby my children, right Tara? In any which way. They are not babied at all. They are told the truth. They are yelled at when they don't act properly. If they embarrass me, I let them know instantly. I am a strict mom, I would say. You are. Yeah. But also a fun mom. And I also will have fun with them as well. But they do not cross me.

I think that's fair to say. I don't know, Tara, what would you say? Yeah, I think that's all really good tips. It's about finding balance that you want them to turn to you but not be your friend too much, but also make it known that you're their safe place and being fun and also just making sure they respect you, I think is huge. You want them to respect what you say. Of course. I think that's the huge, like huge, huge part. And I think Joe, you know, it also comes down to the dad too.

And I think Joe's really good at having them respect us. He's very big on that. And so he, you know, he's always taught them about the respect. I'm going to give him that. But I do think for all of, you know, the kids your age and young moms out there, and they look at my older children now who are in high school and they say, how did you do this? The truth is, guys, we spent a lot of time with them. We talk to them. We tell them the truth.

The same way we do with our cousins group, why we're all so close. We tell each other when we are wrong. We embarrass each other sometimes. We call each other out. We don't like, what is it called? Like we don't tiptoe around each other. We don't do it. No, at all. We're vulnerable. And we're present. I think it's so important to be present when you're with your kids. Like giving them that full attention. We're in this crazy world with these phones and all the distractions. It's so important to give them your undivided attention and know that they're important. You haven't given your children cell phones yet, right?

No. You know how I feel about that. I feel like talking about cell phones now is like the new politics. It's like, do we talk about our kid getting a phone or not getting a phone? Did those moms give phones or did those moms know? I feel like this is the new thing now for me and my age group, what we're dealing with. But no, I'm not there yet. I don't know when I'll be there yet. And when I am, check on me.

Yes. And I think that's okay. I think every mom also you have to know your children and when your children are ready. When you think they're going to never focus on anything but or when you think they're ready, you know, and I think that you definitely know your own kids like my daughter, she's little ADHD. And like there's just so much science behind phones like and stimulation and I don't think it would be good for her because I think it's going to cause her to be a little these phones are designed to be addictive. I'm like, she doesn't need that yet. I want her to be a kid. I want her to keep making up her dance routines with her friends and not be on a

cell phone. So, and I just lean towards that more with girls because I think boys are a little different, but I don't want my son on it right now either. So, I'm not there yet. Yeah. And listen, there's all sorts of advice out there, right? But here's the best advice to all the moms. It's simple. Do what works best for your family. That's the best advice that I can give. Right? I mean, at the end of the day, that's really what I think it comes down to, like what works best for you, right? Yeah. All right, Ty. There's so much going on with, I need to talk to you

a little bit before I let you go, a little bit about pop culture and stuff that's going on because I know that this is like a huge, we all talk about it in our family and you know how I feel on the Jen-Ben situation, but did you see that they were just, and I'm like, oh my God, is it wrong that I got a little excited? Am I the only one? Like I want them together. Well first of all, Ben's my crush because everyone thinks my husband looks like he, my husband gets told all the time.

It looks like Ben. So I just want to say I love Ben. I love Jen. I love them too. I loved, I wanted them to win. And I will say the other day, those paparazzi picks, like she was looking good. Like she would, she always looks good, but she was just looking super snatched. She looks great in those jeans. I heard they were caught kissing and hugging, but I haven't seen those pictures yet.

All I saw was Ben looking a little mad and agitated. I know. I'll be honest with you. I have a feeling on that and why he always looks agitated. I think when he's with her, the paparazzi is triple around him. And he's like, done. Yes. I honestly think Ben can probably go out and about most of the time, not all the time he's been athletic, but like, because he's a guy, number one, he's not like a pop, he's not a pop star. She's also a pop star and she's gorgeous and all of these things. I think he can live his everyday life when he's not with her pretty normal.

I mean, I know he's been afflux, but you know what I'm saying? It's not so like everywhere he goes, there's going to be a paparazzi. When he's with her, I think he is so frustrated that there is a paparazzi every time he turns. He literally probably, and you know my time he turned, like he literally probably, and you know my brain, oh, just so you know, I put a full concept together as to why his face was like that. Do you want to hear what I think? I would love to know. Because they pulled up to the Beverly Hills Hotel.

Well, first of all, that's not low key place to go. It's not, but can I just tell you, there's not just paparazzi sitting there. There's not because I've been there a thousand times. I think I took you there once to sit in the back. We had lunch back there. So here's my thing. He was probably pulled up to three paparazzis. They probably didn't call and make a reservation purposely, because they were like, don't even

warn anybody that we're coming. And he gets there and he's like, what the fuck? That's what my brain's telling me happened. I don't know. Yeah. I think he was probably just agitated, just wanted to sit down and talk. But I wonder what they talked about. It's just, wanted to see them win. Didn't they both announce, did they actually say they were getting a divorce yet? She filed. She filed. She filed. Great. So you know what? Maybe they're getting cold feet on the divorce. Maybe they're backpedaling.

But you know me, this is a stand. I'm a benefit stand over here. No one's ever going to make me hate her or hate him or hate them. So there's that. I hope they survive. But anyway, Tara, thank you so much for coming on today. I love our cousins' talks. I'd like to let people in a little bit on some of our like, people want to come to lunch

with us, girlfriend. They want to have Cosmos with us. Do I get credit for turning you onto Cosmos? I would love to get that credit while we're here. You brought them back to my life. Okay, good. You did. And now we're like Cosmo connoisseurs. We rate them. We are the Cosmo queens. But one question, and this is the last question, this is from the fans. I cannot let you go. This is for both of us.

And I didn't even check this yet, guys, by the way. They want to know two things. Number one, is there any hot guys we're now discussing in the quarantine cousins text chain and what is the last text that was written in quarantine cousins? Should we check? Should we check? It was probably from me. Hold on. Let's see. But the last hot guy. Well, because we used to always send hot guys. Then Antonio would be like, I'm on this. We're like, oh, and these are not hot guys that any of us know, by the way. Okay, hold on. Oh my gosh. Wait, I'm going to look. What

did I say? It was probably about- The last text is LMAO, laugh my ass off. It's from my sister Lisa because Tara put into the text like, hey guys, I'm going on Melissa's podcast today, is literally what it says. Should I talk about how I jumped off the table? I needed their support. I'm like, am I going there? Am I sharing this information? And here I am. Here we go. Hopefully tonight I don't get an anxiety attack in my sleep.

Why? It is such a normal thing that I think moms are- I know. And people who, listen, I feel like you're the last person we know. Everyone's getting boob jobs. I just feel like we are, but I will say this about that. The world has changed and everybody does want a softer, smaller. The look is over with the big fake. Even mine, if I can go down a size, I would go... I've had mine done, definitely had them redone. It's very normal to have surgery twice. It's actually not.

I think whatever you should do to make yourself feel good, especially if your body changes significantly after having kids, whatever you got to do for yourself, no shame. You know what? Best quote I ever heard, people's opinions of you are none of your business. So who cares? Oh my God, I love that. People's opinions of you are none of your business. So who cares? Oh my god, I love that. People's opinions of you are none of your business. None of your business. You should even know about it. So facts. We're gonna end right there with that Tara. Awesome quote. I love you. Thank

you for coming on display today. I love you too. This is fun. We have so much to talk about. We should do it again. No, we have like list and list and list. We're definitely gonna do another one soon. So everybody DM me, tell me how much you love the Girl Talk. You can follow Tara too, unless you're private. Are you private? I like go back and forth because I'm a weirdo. Yeah.

Well, just tell me guys, DM me and tell me how much you loved our Girl Talk today. Thank you for coming on. We love you guys. Ciao. Love you. Let's Go! Hey guys, this is Kail Lowry and this is V Rivera. We're the hosts of Baby Mamas No Drama. Every Tuesday we talk about parenting, co-parenting, lifestyle, and sex. Pop culture, current events, and pretty much all the things you want in one podcast.

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