On Display with Melissa Gorga - The Love Guru (w/ Patti Stanger)

Episode Date: June 6, 2024

Melissa welcomes the world famous "Love Guru" herself, Patti Stanger, onto the show to talk about her own journey in finding love, what the perfect ages are for matchmaking singles, and why it's important to not let fame get between you, your husband, and your kids. Patti also gives us a little taste of all the things she's currently working on, including a very personal project that's currently in talks.  This week's sponsors: Blissy Pillowcases - Sleep Comfortably: Blissy.com/OnDisplayPod (30% off!) Dime Beauty - High-End, Affordable Skincare: DimeBeautyCo.com , promo code: MELISSA20 (20% off) LiquidIV - Hydration Multiplier: LiquidIV.com , promo code: MELISSA (20% off) PlutoTV - Your Favorite Dramas, Free: Pluto.TV Progressive - "Name-Your-Price" Tool: Progressive.com Prolon - Fasting with Food: ProlonLife.com/OnDisplay (10% off 5-Day Nutrition Plan)

So I don't like to see anybody break up. I like to see love. That's what I like. All right, guys, welcome to another episode of On Display. I'm looking forward to this chat because this episode is for all my single ladies out there for anyone that's just looking for some type of advice in the dating game. My guest today is a businesswoman. She was the star of the hit Bravo show the millionaire matchmaker. And now she has her new show on the CW

called Patty Stanger, the matchmaker. Ladies and gentlemen, I have the love guru herself, Patty Stanger. the matchmaker. Ladies and gentlemen, I have the love guru herself, Patty Stanger. What's going on, girl? Hey, girl. How are you? What's going on? How are you? I'm so excited. I'm happy to be back in the house with my fellow Jersey girl. Yeah. I know. Do you know, I always forget that you're originally from New Jersey. What part of Jersey?

Short Hills. Oh gosh. Okay. You're next. I went to Millburn High School. Yep. Short Hills. Oh gosh. Okay. You're next to your mom. I went to Milburn High School. Yep. Short Hills. Short Thrill.

Milburn High School. That is so funny. I feel like I know people that went to Milburn High School. That's so funny. Yes. Milburn High School. It was like, look, growing up there was the beautifulest neighborhood. The people were really different in a way that it was very white.

The Jews started coming in. the Italians started coming in. I think we have one black kid in our school, but 50% of our graduating class went to Ivy League. And I, of course, went to University of Miami, which was not Ivy League at the time. And then they stole the SATs and they became iconic because they probably were so scared they wouldn't get into Ivy League. So they stole the SATs and they made a movie about it. It was really wild.

Yeah. You know, I feel like everyone who went to Milburn High School or lives around Short Hills is just smart. Smart and rich. That's what- And then Rachel Zoe went there too. And Anne Hathaway lived in Milburn. Yep. All the greats are from New Jersey right by the best mall that there is around, which is so funny. Okay. So listen, you're known as the love guru, right? And obviously you've been so successful for so many years at matchmaking.

First of all, I haven't seen you forever. You look amazing. Let me just say that. Oh, thank you. Let me just say that. Oh, thank you. Let me just say that. And guys, Patty just reminded me that she is an avid shopper at Envy, which I absolutely love. Huge shopper. Love all the clothes that you've got. And I love your house and I want to move in so Joe can move out. I'm a black and white girl when it comes to decorating. I'm Kelly Weschler in my mind. So

you nailed it. You nailed it. Thank you. Thank you. You know what? This is like my, I'm happy here. I feel like it's clean. The lines are clean. It's like classic, a lot of black and white. You know, like modernized, but then you still have the old school, you know, like crown molding and all that stuff. I loved it. Thank you. Thank you. Where are you living right now? Where do you live? I live in Marina Del Rey. I'm at a block from the beach, around the corner from the beach. Our houses are like 4,000 square feet, but they're right next to each other. It's supposed to look like the Italian Riviera, kind of like Venice, like the canal. I live over there.

Yeah. Love that. You love living there? Living there? I love... There's not a lot of opportunities to live decently in LA, and I love the beach, but I'm this close to wanting to go six months here and six months in Miami because I still miss Miami. I grew up part-time there. I went to University of Miami. All my friends are in South Florida, my real friends. Yeah, even Jill's down there. I know. I know. You're good friends with Jill's Aaron, right? Yeah, I'm really good friends with Jill.

I mean, I'm friends with Luanne. I just did an event with her, but I'm friends with all the housewives, you know? Like, the West Coast ones, especially Vicki and Shannon. And so, but I miss South Florida. I miss the like, the energy, the vibe. It's just so relaxing. LA can be like New York. It can be energy, the vibe. It's just so relaxing. It can be like New York.

It can be very intense and stressful. It's not as calm as everybody thinks it is just because we work out and we eat meat, right? Because you eat all plants and vegetables all day. I feel like I'm at the point where I want a house in Florida now, honestly. Joe and I started looking and it's like, I still have an eighth grader, but I know it's coming and I'm like, I'm definitely going to be a snowbird, like 100%. There is no way. There is no way I'm going to stay in New Jersey in January, February, March, and April when it's freezing when I can be in Florida. It's not happening. You can homeschool. You could, but you know what? I'm just going to, that's it. We got like four more, five more years until he, you know, so I'm like, we're going to

start looking, maybe buy something soon, but I'm definitely going to be a snowbird. That's how I feel about that. Well, hopefully the market will crash down there because it's been like ridiculous. It's crazy. It's crazy. I can't believe Oracle blew up and I was like, it was a nothing place when I went to college. And like Marisol lives in Coconut Grove in this cute little house her husband owned and she said like coral gables is insane right now it's like she was telling me everything about it yeah

it's true it's crazy we were looking in boca and it's just it's insanity you need to call jill jill knows the best real estate agent she knows exactly the drill she knows everything about boca what country club what place to live to live? I lived in Boca for five years when I ran Great Expectations, but you should totally call Jill. She'll know what to do. I feel like Jill knows everything. She knows everything about the Hamptons. She knows everything about everywhere. It's like she just knows everyone. I just, everyone knows. Look, you're going to get a discount. That's the good thing. Are you going to go to her Hamptons party this year. I just, everyone. Well, look, you're gonna get a discount. Like, that's the good thing.

Are you gonna go to her Hamptons party this year? I just got an invite for that. I'm thinking about it, but I might be in Europe. So I was invited for my birthday on a trip to Italy. Nice. Speaking of being an Italian. Nice. Right? And my best friend is taking, one of my best friends lives in Fort Lauderdale.

She's getting married. Her husband is a gazillionaire and they wanna take me to Lake Como. So I don't know if the dates are crossing. I have to figure it out. I just got the information. Well, I mean, let's balance it out. Go to Lake Como. I'm single and I need an Italian man. Oh my God. Wait, that's one of my questions for you. That is one of my questions for you. Are you single right now? I wasn't sure. Yes. I broke up with my boyfriend a year and a half ago. It was kind of traumatic.

So I went through this deep healing phase. That's part of the, when we were doing the show, I had just broken up. So it was like, it was a healing show and I was following them as well as I was working on myself. And a lot of the experts I brought on are the people that were helping me. That's why I wanted to help people.

And now I'm ready to date. So I just started tipping my well in one of my best friends, Bonnie Winkler, who's one of my partners on the East coast is fixing me up. She is a big matchmaker in this part of the woods and she's fixing me up. So I'm going through a matchmaker now cause I want them vetted. I don't, I'm still on the apps, but it's like, it's so time consuming. We really need, I'm going to create, I'm going to create the next great app, which is an AI app. I'm working on that right now so that I don't have to matchmake again.

And I said, what better than an Italian? You know? Listen, you need to practice what you preach. You preach matchmaking, right? So now you need to go to a matchmaker to find love for yourself. Now, hold on. And she's my age. She's my age. So she does a lot of older women.

She specializes in women. And she, you know, the last guy she fixed me up with wasn't exactly the right fit. He was like conservative, Massachusetts preppy, but he's really good looking and an XNFL player. And I said, let's fix Shannon up with her. So I'm going to fix Shannon up with him. Really? He's from Scottsdale. So yeah, you move, you got to pay it forward and help others. That's true. That's true. And then the love will find you. I mean, what is it like for, first of all, he's an Italian, this guy that you're going to meet?

No, no, no, no. I want to go to Italy and meet an Italian. Got it. Okay. Because when I was in high school, the Catholic boys were the ones I loved the most. So my ex was Catholic, but he's French Catholic. And I would realize that the best kissers were the Italians. I just remember that. Like when you're, you know, you're like, you're making out, like at parties and shit.

I was like, wow, the Italians were really good. Maybe I should have heard Italian. I love the food. And I love, I've been to Florence. It's my favorite city. So we go to Florence first before we go to Lake Como. And then we end up in Milan. So I was like, Oh yeah, that kind of be good. And I've never been to that part of Italy before. Oh my God. I hope you find an Italian gorgeous, great kissing.

Yeah. And he cooks for me, right? Yes. He sounds like a masterpiece. By the way, I agree with that. Italians make great lovers and they're very passionate and they're very like they're touchy and they're into your body and they want to touch all the crevices Patty like they get all up in there you know what I mean? I'm a spooner and I love being touched my love language is such I remember the scene where Joe was in the shower and he was like trying to get in you remember and you're like oh god does he want sex again? Like and you're like I have so many things to do it was funny it's really fun you were funny to get in. You remember? You're like, Oh, God, is he wants sex again? Like, and you're like, I have so many things to do. It was funny. It was really fun. You were

funny to get. That's the story of my life. He's literally like, he's still, we're going to be married. We're going to Italy. We're going to Capri this summer. And we're going for our 20th wedding anniversary. And I feel like he still chases me around the house. Like, we're dating. But that's what you want as you age. You want to be like in your 90s and they've got like, I'm coming to get you, you know, like you want that. And a lot of girls don't get that.

Like they get want, want, want, and he stopped touching me. So be grateful that Joe's like that. No, I know you're right. I am great. He always tells me that he would love, he should be on this podcast with me with you because he loves you and he loves to talk about dating and sex and intimacy and passion and he'll

be like, listen to her listen to everything she says. I would watch you guys all the time. But first of all, I believe, you know, like, when you guys came out, I was out, you were like right after me, right? And we were waiting on line like to do some kind of big, it was like our TCA or something at like in LA. And I remember thinking, Jers is going to be the biggest thing. So your showrunner and my showrunner were friends. And I would watch your mother-in-law, was the thing where you're making the tomatoes?

Yeah. We make the sauce and the tomatoes every September. My mom was alive and she would watch and she would be like, oh my God, what are they cooking now? What's Carolyn making now? And when I became friends with like, oh my God, what are they cooking now? What's Carolyn making now? And when I became friends with Carolyn, what's Carolyn making now? You know, like, it was like, we would watch for the food. Forget the connection between all of you.

We would watch the food and I'd be like, God damn it, I want that shrimp scampi right now, you know? Yeah, everyone loved it for the food and loves to see what, cause we cook a lot on camera and our show obviously is about family and our kids and you see us in our kitchen all the time. You watch the Beverly Hills ladies, they're out eating the most gorgeous salad.

I've never seen Kyle eat one thing. And I ate on camera because if the client brought me, like we had the muffin man and the bagel man, I would eat. They'd bring it to me and I'd be like, well, let me eat. But I didn't have a problem eating on camera. I still ain't on camera. I can't run the show, you know, at certain points. I don't know if it made at it. But I loved watching you guys, you know, even even the crazy I'm sorry that it didn't work out with with your sister in law and I pray that you keep peace. I don't talk to my sister. So I understand that we

do not talk since my mom died, we do not get along. And my sister lives in Cold Spring in Long Island. So I understand that. We do not talk since my mom died. We do not get along. And my sister lives in Cold Spring in Long Island. So I understand when you have a rift and you're like, oh God. And you got to be true to yourself. You got to be true to yourself, Melissa. Whatever you feel, you be true to yourself. But you were a good girl. I didn't see anything wrong with you really, to be honest with you. No, you know what, Peggy? I always tried. I always put my best put, you know, I wanted my husband to have his family, but you know what, sometimes you have to get to the point and I think that's the point we're at right now.

It's just not worth it when it's so toxic and there's so much struggle in it and you just cannot get together. Look at Carolyn and Dina. I'm like, I'm afraid to say it. It's like everybody's got that weird shit in their family because people are like, because I said, I don't have a family. I don't have a sister.

I don't talk to my nephews or my brother-in-law. We just do not get along. And then my parents are dead. So it's like, I don't have that immediate family. When I went with my ex, he was a thousand kids, a thousand cousins. It was like the biggest thing I ever saw in my life, a Catholic family. So when it was over, it was so painful because it was the one thing that I wanted.

Jersey, we're very grounded, very homie. We're kind of soprano in that way. And I was pissed off because that's the thing I really want, to find a guy who's very family oriented is my dream. Small, easy changes in your skincare routine can have amazing results. And your secret weapon should be Dime Beauty. We all know that the search for quality skincare is an exhausting one, but trust me, Dime Beauty is a place you need to check out.

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but that's what makes Prolon so helpful. It's fasting with food. Yep, you heard that right, food. Right now Prolon is offering on display listeners 10% off their five day nutrition program. Go to prolonlife.com slash on display. That's P-R-O-L-O-N-L-I-F-E dot com slash on display for the special offer. Listen, you are like, you look amazing right now. You got your shit all together. You have your show. I always thought you were just so like, you're a big energy in the room. You're so lively. You're a catch, Patty. You are a catch. Are you picky? No, no, no. I'm like I'm tall because I'm 5'7 and a half. So that's the only... I'm very... I like an alpha and I am Gemini. So I have two personalities.

Like I'm like right now I'm talking business mode and we're French, but then when the guy comes in, I go like this and the energy just uses. And then I'm talking slower and then I'm like, hi. And he, he, he alpha, you know, I become beta. I switch. When I used to go home after work and we'd meet up, he was alpha and I was beta. I switch, when I used to go home after work and we'd meet up, he was alpha and I was beta. And it was very, it took a while to learn. My boyfriend on the show, David Krauss, we lived together and I had to learn how to switch

because it's not very easy to switch when you're like this, especially when we're shooting our shows and we're like, and then you come home and you're like, I want you to make dinner. I was tired. Like Vicki and I talk about this all the time. And I said, when I told Vicky after Steve, I said, he's an asshole. He's a user. He's a gaslighter. He she was on girls trip. Jilla was really worried about her. Dorit was yelling at her. And I was like, all right, we're gonna just clear up when she gets

home. So I go, what do you want? Did you ever make a list? And she goes, No, I said, make your list right now. She makes the list. She says, I want cowboy boots. I want a guy to do line dancing. I'm like, OK, that's crazy, but whatever. Goes on with Kelly the next day. There's Michael.

Michael dated my best friend for years. So when I heard of it, I'm like, he's a good guy. This is the guy that built Little Now. You need to close this deal. You need to calm down and let him lead. And when I was with them, it was like, to see Vicki calm down, you know what I mean, right? You know what I'm talking about.

I can't even picture it. I can't even imagine it. You know what I mean? Because Alpha, she in business, she's like the best business woman there was. She went into her feminine and now they live together and he gave his place to Shannon to live. So it was really wonderful. And I said, God, if she can do it, so can I, because I was training

her. And now she came on the show to train other women because a lot of us stayed down financially. You didn't have that issue. You know, Joe's a hustler, a real hustler. I want a hustler. Yes. I'm attracted to a hustler because I'm a hustler. So I appreciate a hustler. I really do. I don't know what I would do if a guy was like laying on my couch when I woke up in the morning. I'd be like, get the hell, go to work. You wouldn't want to handle it. I watch how you maneuver. You're always thinking outside the box, what's the next move? And yet you're doing it for your family because you never compromised your family. A lot of people will compromise their family. They'll

go off, become famous and leave their children behind. You didn't do that. No. You were always like, no, this is a family group decision. We're doing this. I watched you. So, there are women out there over a certain age.

You can meet love. You can get the guy. Look, Michael's older than her. If they're not the same age, they're older. So, it's like, he didn't want a 25-year-old, they're older. So it's like he didn't look, he didn't want a 25 year old and he was loaded. You know what I'm saying? Which is great, which is wonderful. That's because that's the problem with these, these guys that are loaded. Are you like, they want a 28 year old, they want a 25 year old, they want the girls that have no baggage, no kids,

they just want to play. But what happens is, I think these guys hang out for five, 10 years and then they get dumped. So they're doing the wrong thing with that. Am I right about that? You are so right. You'd be a good matchmaker by the way. You see people for who they really are. You'd be an excellent matchmaker.

I always felt that about you. Cause you were like, you always were the voice of reason. And that's kind of what a matchmaker does. You can't take sides. You have to breathe the energy. You're gonna figure out what's wrong. And then you have to like decide if's kind of what a matchmaker does. You can't take sides. You have to read the energy. You've got to figure out what's wrong. And then you have to like decide if they're going to be a match. And if it's like, like the PK with, with, um, um, Doree.

Doree. No, Doree, you can do better. What are you thinking about that? Is that real? Are they really breaking up? I hope they do because I saw a scene where he was like kind of a little term. I Saw this with Adrian and Paul. I love Adrian to death I'm not saying Paul didn't irritate the fuck out of her in that scene the chicken set remember the chicken salad scene

Yes, I do. Yes Well, I was like this isn't gonna work and then Paul and I became friends and I said and and I know Adrian forever She's lovely. I have no qualms about her But when two people go like this, you're like, oh, get out, go. It's not going to work. So that's what I saw PK putting her down. And if it wasn't for her, he wouldn't be the money shot. I mean, as much as Boy George is amazing, that was a thousand years ago. What have you done lately, sir? Right.

So I don't see this. She had that bathing suit. She could have really done stuff with herself. I think he held her back. I think she took a back seat to whatever it was. I think a lot of the housewives that have the husbands that are more successful, they tend to take a back seat where I tried to find, because I have a very successful husband, but I tried to find loopholes where, okay, if I do this and if I do this well, this isn't going to totally take my family out. Or I did it in a way where it's- How important is what you're saying? You want to level up equally to be a power couple.

You like the power couple practice, and that's what's important. I do. I believe that, and I know my marriage. For every marriage, it's different, right? I know my situation. I know my marriage. I know my marriage. I level up on my own on so many levels. He does his own, but there's also leveling up together as a couple.

Let me tell you something. I thought you were perfect from the day I saw you, even when we hung out. I saw you after one of our up-fronts and I said, God, Joan, Joan, you're so cute. I mean, you're a little look and your body's insane and you're gorgeous. And I was like, you guys are so cute together. Thank you. But when it came to a lot of the other housewives, like I'm heartbreaking for Kyle Arruzio. Like I know them. And I was like- You, I am still in shock over it. I'm heartbreaking for her. I'm heartbreaking for hers. Like you don't even- I love Kyle so much. She made me laugh on all our commercials.

I would hang out with her and she made, no one made me laugh harder than her. And I was like, and I know them for like ever. And I was like, and I know Billy, you know, where she works for and I know Amy is ex-wife. Like, I was like, what? This fucking, you know, even the psychic read me. She read me and it wasn't even written. I was like, this came true?

What she said on that first couple episodes. So I was really upset for them. So I don't like to see anybody break up. I like to see love. I do too. And they're one of my favorite couples. I've spent, we've spent multiple, I went on vacation with them. We've been to dinners.

I never, never saw this coming. Never saw it coming. I don't know why. I didn't see it. I did. Well, Jill says, Jill says most housewives break up. She has a theory on it and she says it all the time. And I said, you know, only the housewives break up that get too hyped up on the fame

and the money and they don't realize all this can go away. They don't realize what will happen. There's nothing better out there. Get over your betterness. Well, do you know that Joe and I are the longest standing couple on Bravo? The longest. We are longest standing couple on Bravo. Wow.

In all the Housewife franchises? Wow. In all of Bravo and all in Housewife franchises. Yes, we are the longest standing. I'm actually scared to say it out loud when we say it, but the Bravo publicist just, you know, I'm on a, we're doing press right now for the new season. And they were like, we all just realized that Joe and I are the longest standing couple on Bravo, which we're like, I don't know if I'm scared. Am I scared? Do a course together. I mean, seriously, how to keep your marriage together and how to

make it still an exciting. You should do a course together. Seriously. Those masterclass courses still make a fortune off. Oh my God. That would be great. Listen, come to the masterclass with Melissa and Joe. Joe's going to try to touch. Joe's going to just say, release the poison, the whole entire class. He's going to make linguine with clan stops as we actually do this. I mean, everyone, it's a bring your own.

Bring your own. Bring your own bottle. Gorgamore. Gorgamore. I freaking love it. You have a lot of ideas for me. Me and you need to talk on the side. Yes, we should do business together for sure. I'm serious. So I've been sleeping on this Blissy pillowcase and let me tell you, I did not know that a pillowcase had anti-aging qualities. Set yourself up with better sleep with Blissie's award-winning 100% mulberry silk pillowcases.

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date different on each coast? Yes, West Coast men are very passive. They're lazy lions. They expect the women to chase them. It's kind of like bumble. But now I heard they're changing it that women can that men can make the first move to. So you attract this man who's kind of a Peter Pan. He wanted to be famous. He wanted to be a director, producer, actor, because we don't have a Wall Street here. And there's no corporate alpha, go get the woman. Yeah, you've got to remember, it's summer all year round for us, even though it really isn't. We still get cold. We're not warm like Miami, but we're definitely not cold like New York.

So you have three months to find the girlfriend so that you're not cold in the snow. That's basically it. So by Labor Day, if you don't have the girlfriend, you're screwed. And so the men are more alpha. The difference is there were more women than men in New York. There were five women to one guy.

But now we don't know the statistics since they all left the city to go to Florida in COVID. So now I would like to see what the statistics are. Did it level back out? I didn't realize that. It started with Sex and the City. So when Sex and the City went up in the 90s, because I was there in the 80s, it was 50-50. In the 90s, girls were watching this all over the world and they came to New York to find their Mr. Big and then it offset the balance.

Yeah. Wow. I don't think I ever realized that, but that makes a lot of sense. Wait, so now half the men from New York are now living in Florida? Most of them are, for what I understand. I mean, the city is just coming back and I don't know if it will ever be the city that it was because people complain about it now. I hear it everywhere.

It's a weird place because let's say you made enough money to live in Florida, which you know back in the day was cheap, right? Now it's a little bit more pricier. But you get a nice apartment, you live in Brickle, you spend five, six grand and you're like, a two bedroom is decorated. I don't have to worry about it.

I don't have to buy anything. And then you're out driving your nice Maserati and you're eating dinner and you're playing. And remember, they don't go out to 11 o'clock at night because it's Latin culture. And now you're like, restaurants are coming in, everything's happening. Like, why don't I go back to New York?

Because they're trying to make it, well, the governor, I'm not sure about De Santos what happened, but they were going to make it the next tech center, Mecatech Center. And they decided that didn't work, so they were going to make it Mini Wall Street. And there was some kind of hiccup that happened this year, which they're thinking of making it Mini Wall Street. Well.

You know, because people are not going to into their offices anymore. So if you could work from home, make your fortune, go to lunch, you know, play here, go out at 11 o'clock at night, walk down South Beach. Sign me up. Sign me up. Why would you go back to New York? Sign me up right now. Sign me up. What age group do you see the most success in matchmaking? Where do you think the sweet spot is? 40. Well, 30 year old girl and 40 year old guy. Is that right?

Yeah. But that doesn't mean like Bonnie, my partner, she specializes in women over 50 and she's killing it in that. We both have that like vibrational psychic eye that we know yes, no, yes, no. So the larger the database, I have the largest database in the business in all of Matchmaking.

You do? And I'm thinking of selling my company this year because I produce movies. So I had a four year deal with Hallmark and I produced four movies for them. And then the president changed and then one of the channels went away. And so I made one rom-com and I made a mystery series

with Danica McKellar and Victor Webster. And we were just in the middle of the fourth movie when COVID happened. So I wanna get back to producing. I'm doing a scripted series, which you're going to like, based on my life with Andrew Ruhl. And he is the producer of The Kissing Loop, the executive producer. And then Scott, who's the executive producer and writer of The Queen's Gambit. And it's about me when I'm in New Jersey, I'm a little

girl like 16. Wait, do you need me to play you? I can play you. Tell them I want to audition. Why are you going to play my mother? So 16 years old. My mother and my grandmother are matchmakers, but we also go into the future. Like we go past, present and future. They're in the middle of writing the pilot. And so I'm going to produce that. And because I went to film school and my dream was really to make, matchmaking was an accent. I went to film school because I wanted to make movies and TV. Like that's what I went to school for.

So I'm getting back into that and I really want to spend more time. However, I'm looking at investors to do the next app and we will do an AI matchmaker app. Wow. We're looking at it. And I want to get out of the personal one-on-one and give it to my staff and focus on other things like my TV show, Patty Stanger the Matchmaker on the CW and maybe work with Bravo. I really wanna do some projects with Bravo.

Jeff and I had a great idea that Andy actually said was great. Like to do the Friends Trip version of what you did. Oh, wait, what do you mean? Right? Like, you know, like Tabatha and Jackie Warner and all those guys. And then Jeff and I- Oh my my god all of you together on an island

I would die would love 1000% you guys should do that right so we want to do that and We want to do it like Jeff and I are the best friends and then every year we bring new friends on You know like we do it that way and so Andy said he pitched that and he said you know You didn't know if they were interested But I said I really want to do this so Jeff and I are talking about doing stuff pitched that and he said, you know, you didn't know if they were interested, but I said, I really want to do this. So Jeff and I are talking about doing stuff like that. And I'm partnering up with different people in the industry to do spin-offs or to do, like maybe you cook

and you want a cooking show and the cooking channel and we produce it together, like love and dating or something like, you know, something of that nature. Like I'm going to do Hell's Kitchen with Gordon, maybe I'll pitch him something. Like, so I'm trying to find partners. I have showrunners, I'm going to do Hell's Kitchen with Gordon. Maybe I'll pitch him something. So I'm trying to find partners. I have showrunners. I'm working with IPC at Sony. They're the best. They do Selena's show. They did the D'Amelio's. They do a lot of famous shows

there that you would know, like So You Think You Can Dance. And they're my partner. And they were, you know how you always never love your production company? Yeah, no one ever really loves them. I love this production company at Sony IPC. They did Leia Remney, they won all the Emmys, they're the best. All right, well listen, you have your thinking cap on, you just keep going and going and going. I feel like everything you have is great, but I want to hear about this new one. You have to tell me, because I know you're doing this with Nick Viall, right?

Right, so just before I tell you that, Lisa Vanderpump is the gold star. She spins off. She has a show on Hulu and she's showing Bravo and I don't know if she's EP on the valley, but she has a spin-off in her hand and everything, which is kind of the brainiac way and she's just so brilliant.

But for my show, my show is very different. It's kind of a quiet show. It's kind of a healing show. I'm not a therapist, but it really is like therapy. Come in, you got bad patterns, you can't figure out why you can't get out of your own way. You can't meet the right guy. You can't be never on a date. You've divorced whatever your situation male, female, gay, straight. And then we break you with experts of this pattern. So Nick and I do, straight. And then we break you with experts of this pattern.

And Nick and I do this together. And then at the end, you get a date. And it's not about getting the date, because it's not about matchmaking. It's more about healing those wounds, because that date might just be a practice before you can get out into the real world. You know what I'm saying?

So it's more about, are these people healing from these terrible things that happened to them and their love life being on the rocks? So are the people coming in and they already have issues with themselves or in a relationship? Everywhere. They've been, you know, someone's been left at the altar, someone's got a divorce, someone can't find the right girl and is dating a thousand years. Like everybody has a problem. One person was in a throuple and the husband of the guy, who's gay, went off with the person they brought into the threesome, the throuple.

Don't you hear about that often? I hear about that so much. There's a twist at the end of that episode that you're going to be blown away. Twist, big twist. There are people that got thrown out of the house. I shot in the house in my neighborhood. There are people that really cried, deep wounds, got hypnotized by Marissa Peer, the leading hypnotist in the world, and cried some major deep wounds and some really good stuff.

Sounds juicy. It's so, it's different. It's the way I work with my clients that is a snippet of what I do, a snippet. Next season, if we come back, it'll be even deeper. But it's like how I move the energy because talk therapy doesn't work for a lot of my clients. They just can't.

They can talk to their therapist, the cows come home, but nothing changes. On Display with Melissa Gorga is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Hey guys, whether you love true crime, comedies, celebrity interviews, news, or even motivational speakers, you call the shots on what's in your podcast queue, right? And guess what? Now you can call the shots on your auto insurance too. Enter the Name Your Price tool from Progressive.

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and join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, price and coverage match limited by state law. I feel like your hairdresser and your matchmaker are also therapists because we equally, I could see myself sitting down and constantly telling them all my problems and why nothing works for me and the same thing people do with their hairdresser, right? My best friend is my glam girl since day one of Bravo and she is my therapist. She gives me better therapy than I get myself sometimes and I have to teach other people. But you know, if I wasn't dating

right now, would I really understand what's going on in the world? So like if people criticize me, I'm like, you don't understand. First of all, I'm adopted. My dad was an alcoholic. You know, I didn't have a stable childhood. And so you don't, you don't know what people are going through because if I was married for a hundred years, I wouldn't understand what the dating landscape was like. You know, I wouldn't know what it's like to get on an app and get ghosted and things like that. I do think it's crazy that you're actually a matchmaker,

but you're also in the dating world, which makes it so much like strong, like there's such a bigger connection to you because it's like you're going through it at all different stages of your life you've dated at this point. Exactly. And the other thing is like I've seen a lot of cancer doctors who have cancer and they're curing people, the oncologist. And I asked one and he said, you know, I said,

I think I have more compassion and empathy because he's a better doctor because he has cancer. He's curing his cancer. He has to go to another oncologist. And then when he's curing his patients, he says, I don't think I would have been this empathetic. Like one patient, the cancer came back after 20 years and they thought it was a remission. He cried with her and held her. And she said, this was the most healing moment I've ever had as opposed to going to a therapist and talking about it. So, you know, everybody's got shit. Nobody's perfect. Especially outdoors. Well, do you find it hard to take your own advice sometimes?

Like when you're there and you're giving people your own advice, do you go by it? My hardest thing is when I break up with someone and I love them. And even if they treated me badly, I want to know why and I want to fix it. I'm a fixer, which is I have a hard time letting go, saying why can't I go back and fix it? Because I have no place to put that person in the file. Like if I felt like we had done everything we could possibly do, I'm done, I let go.

But if I still feel there were movements to be made, that is my weakness because I want to fix everything. I think that's very admirable of you because it's a lot harder to fix it than to break it. Yeah, most people run. They just run. They just go to the...

Guys are different than women. Women, if they have more estrogen in their body, they know their relationship's over when it's over. But when it actually ends, they crawl in a corner, they lick their wounds, they go to their girl posse, and they try to heal themselves. Sometimes it could take a year or two because they're not over the ex. That guy is out three weeks later on the street looking for the next one because he doesn't want to feel his feelings.

Women are taught to feel their feelings. Men are taught not to. This is the way he's pushing out his feelings so that he can get over one by getting on top of another. And that's literally why it's so much easier, I think, for the men. They just ignore it all while the girls sit home and soak and try to fix themselves and figure out. They cry. We cry and they party. Yeah, it's totally true. But the more of that suppressant the man has in his bloodstream for his woman, the more in love he is. So women fall in love

through oxytocin through sex. Men fall in love emotionally. So the more you bond with them and do things together and teach things and go through grief together and whatever, the bonding agent, the less likely he will get quick to get over. Only narcissists and sociopaths get over like that. Wait, so is that right? So men are more emotional, women are more sexual? Is that what I just heard you say? No, women fall in love sexually. You touch me, taste me, feel me, hug me, fuck me, give me an orgasm, fall in love. Okay?

But our brain becomes punch, drunk, love. It's all chemical. And then men don't fall in love through oxytocin because they don't have any. I'm sure there's an exception to every rule. So let's just be, this is just the general, this is the alchemy of attraction and it's the science. Now, when a man starts dating a woman and they're spending time together

and they're bonding over hobbies, interests, doing, going to events, going through grief, maybe somebody lost a parent and the other person was there for them. This is how they bond, the routine. When vasopressin kicks in, they're not going to be so quick to jump, break up. And then that's how oxytocin kicks in. They only get oxytocin when they fall in love and vasopressin is the gateway to oxytocin. You know what? That makes absolute complete sense, by the way.

I wouldn't think that that's the way it works, but now when you're explaining it to me, that makes perfect sense. I mean, it really does. Wait, so you also have a perfume that you say, because I feel, I've always said this and I've talked about this before on my podcast. I am very attracted, Patty, to scent. I smell, I always smell like I was always attracted to Joe with his scent. We have two scents now. We have two scents. Matchmaker has two scents that are for you.

So like couple and the regular single rose scent. But then we have fluid and bi and then we have gay. So we made a whole line, we have candles. You can go to ivelove.com, I-E-Y-E, and look up Matchmaker. But I'm gonna send you a new kit because we have the new massage candles that you can stay home and have fun and have spa night. And then I also have a new scent that I wanna send you.

Tell me what you think. And it's flying off the shelves. Now, we are a pheromone, and we're trying to get into the mainstream stores and it's not that easy because we're considered a sex product, which is so stupid, but it is the highest percentage of pheromones. I worked with this company for years

before they offered me at my own fragrance. And it's very inexpensive. The small ones are 29 and the big one, the big one, which we won in a war for it looks like a dime and is 49. So the bottom line is if the smell goes away and you've sprayed it on your body, Jeff Lewis will talk about this all the time because he can't believe it works. All of a sudden, opposite sex, same sex, whatever you're wearing will come flourishing right

now. It's up to you to vet who's good and who's not, but you will have options just by standing still and letting the fair one do it. And when you're married, if you both wear it, like he wears his and you wear hers, then you're going to want to hit each other. Are you kidding me? I'm blessed. You have to send me this new couples one.

First of all, this is all music to Joe Gorgas ears. I just told my publicist and my partner Jackie is sending it out, so don't worry about that. You're like everywhere. You are just like the love guru. I have to really call you that of the world. I mean, truth of the matter is I wanted tools for people to find love without me. I'd like to retire. So I'm looking at ways to improve,

whether it's dating on a website through AI or whatever, like an app, or whether it's me fixing you up through matchmakers. Like I have an affiliate program. So like if you live in another city, I have other people working for me on the ground, whether they're a recruiter or a matchmaker that I can... And then I'm in other countries as well. We have an office now in Dubai, which you have to get a license there.

We're talking about doing a reality series on it with my matchmaker there. But it's like, if I can retire and not do this and be in love and ride up into the sunset with my guy, I'm fine because I want everybody to have love. Everyone should have love. Nobody should be single alone. We're not programmed as humans. Our DNA is not meant to be alone.

I know a lot of people don't agree with that. They think, oh, you should be strong, be independent, we're not. We will crash. If you do that, by the time you turn into menopause, your adrenals as a woman will crash. You're meant to be with a partner. Listen, I believe in love. I believe in love, all aspects of love.

I believe in everything you're saying, being with a partner. I do believe in independent women and independent men, whatever it may be, but I do think you need a hug sometimes. You need a little love sometimes for sure. All right. Thank you so much for coming on today. Melissa, send my love to Joe. Love to see you when you come to LA. Let's go to dinner. And if I come out here again, I'll call you. But let's hang out and let's talk about some business. Please let me know when you're in New York. Yeah. Let's talk about some... Send me stuff

and I'll post it on my Instagram, whatever you want me to post. Okay. Perfect. I will do that. Yes. Everyone, be sure to about some of these. Send me stuff and I'll post it on my Instagram, whatever you want me to post. Okay, perfect. I will do that. Yes, everyone be sure to check out Patti's new show. I can't wait to watch it. Love you, honey. See you soon. Bye.

Love you. Mwah. No. Yeah. They say money can't buy love, but it turns out you just have to wait till the end for the check to come. We trade uncomfortable truths for comfortable lies, imaginary solutions to real problems. I'm James Sexton, host of Unlikely Sources. You may know me from my books or my many interviews, such as Soft White Underbelly, Lex Friedman, or one of the many other places I've shared my perspective on love, life, and the law.

I know a divorce lawyer isn't the first person you think of for advice on how to keep your relationship strong, but wisdom is found in unexpected, counterintuitive places. In sickness, we see the value of health. The Godfather, it can teach you more about business than an MBA. Fight Club, it's actually about religion.

The most valuable practical wisdom comes from unlikely sources, and it's time we sit up and pay attention to what they can teach us. So if you're looking for compelling conversation, blunt talk about culture, religion, romance, and how to navigate life in the machine of modern society, I'll look forward to spending some time with you. I'm Jim Sexton. will be available May 28th. Plus, Pluto TV has hundreds of drama movies and TV shows. Download Pluto TV on all your favorite devices for free. Pluto TV. Stream now, pay never.