On Purpose with Jay Shetty - 5 Mindsets Necessary To Build Self Confidence And 4 Ways To Know You're Enough

Episode Date: August 4, 2023

In the journey of self-discovery, we often find ourselves grappling with the nagging question: "Am I enough?"  Life's struggles can weigh heavily on our hearts, especially when we feel inadequate. But fear not, today we will look deep into building self-esteem and self-confidence. In the face of doubt and self-limiting beliefs, we shall uncover four distinct types of self-worth that shape our perception of ourselves. Everything we have achieved may seem meaningless at times, however, through this pivotal moment of awakening, we shall uncover the true essence of our purpose and redefine our paths with newfound meaning. As we navigate life, we will encounter moments of hesitation and indecision, fearing the uncertainty of future steps. Together, we shall cultivate the courage to take that vital first step towards growth and fulfillment. In this episode, you'll learn: The type of mindset we should avoid The reason why our confidence is low How to improve your self-worth and self-esteem How to get out of the the struggles that limit you Let's join hands as we take steps towards stepping forth into the world with renewed purpose and self-assurance.  With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 02:02 When you’re stuck with feeling like you aren’t enough, how do you deal with it? 05:38 Life is a struggle especially when you think you aren’t enough 10:01 What happens when you realize everything you’ve done in life is useless? 14:25 Type #1: The sense of security and safety is such an important part of our self-worth 15:53 Type #2: When you know your values, it's easier for you to make decisions. 17:06 Type #3: The self-confidence we experience through competence, a skill, an ability that we have 18:54 Type #4: Do you have a place or space that you feel comfortable and you belong to? 22:48 This is one of the reasons why so many struggle so much 24:29 We keep thinking about taking future steps but we never take the first step 26:20 Here’s how you can do to help boost your self confidence  Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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We dive into a range of topics and the best part is, each episode is only 7 minutes long, so you can incorporate it into your schedule, no matter how busy you are. As a dedicated part of the on-purpose community, I wanted to do something special for you this year, so I'll be playing a hand-picked daily J during each of my Friday podcasts. This week I'm sharing an inspiring story that motivates me and hopefully can motivate you too. Of course if you want to listen to the daily J every day, you can go subscribe to calm. So go to calm.com forward slash J for 40% off your membership today. Hey everyone, welcome back.

It is so good to be here with you. Thank you so much for choosing on purpose, for being in your ears right now, whether you're walking your dog, whether you're cooking, whether you're hanging out with a friend listening together, whatever you're up to, or you're driving to and from work. I just want you to know, thank you. I appreciate you. I'm glad you're here. And it's been an incredible year so far. We've had some phenomenal guests on the show.

Everyone from Rick Rubin to Tom Holland to who else have we had? I mean, Dr. Joe Dispenser, Kim Kardashian, Ryan Holiday, Cynthia Riever, that episode was really, really special. It has been a phenomenal, phenomenal journey to share with all of you. And I hope you're enjoying the content every week. We've got so many more experts, cultural change makers, and celebrities to come on the show. As always, I feel like we tried the conversation in the direction of improving ourselves, becoming happier, healthier and more healed. Today's topic is one that I've been thinking about a lot,

but I don't think I've ever really spoken about fully. And it's about this idea of low self-worth, low self-esteem, and feeling like you're not enough. Now, if you came to my live show, you heard me tell this moment at the beginning of the show. So if you go on to Google and you type in the words, will I ever, the first thing that comes up for most of us is will I ever find love? Okay, stop doing it right now. I need your attention back. The second thing that comes up is will I ever be enough? And the third thing that comes up is will I am net worth?

That really, it really comes up if you keep searching. And it's really interesting. I wanna go back to that second one. Will I ever be enough? It is such a big question. You might be sitting there right now or walking there right now thinking, I'm not smart enough. It is such a big question. You might be sitting there right now or walking there right now thinking, I'm not smart enough. I'm not good enough. I'm not fast enough. I'm not hard working enough. Fill in the blank. What is that for you that you feel I am

not ex-enough? Because we all have something or maybe you have a couple of things. And we also think, I'm not smart enough for it. It happens in our relationships too. I'm not good enough for that person. I'm not good enough for that relationship. And then it transfers into our careers. I'm not good enough for that job. I'm not good enough for that opportunity.

I can't put in an application. I don't have enough skills. This repetitive thought plagues our mind. It's like an infection. And it's contagious too. We get it off other people and we pass it on. And maybe it's because someone told you at school that you weren't good enough or smart enough. Maybe you're a parent who always made you feel like you weren't enough. Wherever it came from, it's our opportunity to address it and understand it, because it's not serving us anymore. I'm guessing you're here because you feel stuck. I'm guessing you're here because you feel like you've lost a bit of momentum. I'm guessing you're here because you doubt yourself and you know that that doubt blocks you from taking the steps you want to take or receiving love from

someone else. Maybe there's someone in your life who's been trying to treat you right, but you don't know what that feels like so you'd rather they treat you wrong. Think about that for a second. You've got someone in your life who wants to treat you right, but you don't know what that feels like, so you'd rather they treat you wrong, even if it feels awful. It's interesting what we begin to achieve and receive, both what we try to achieve and what we allow ourselves to receive become reduced because of low self-worth. Because of not feeling enough, you end up achieving less and receiving less. It's not just about you don't make as much success in your career and you don't go out there and win, you actually let less in to yourself. the idea that we actually block so much goodness

in our life, so much goodness and greatness because we don't feel like we're enough. And you might be thinking, well, Jay, easy for you to say, you feel like you have it all figured out. And I wanna share with you, I wanna take you back 10 years. 10 years ago, I'd just left the monastery around 10 and a half years ago. And I was

moved back in with my parents living in their loft. The place I grew up as a teenager. I was 25 years old and I was 25,000 dollars in debt and I was struggling to figure out my next steps. Back to the bedroom I grew up in as a teenager. And what I try and do after I managed to finally get up and get out because for the first month I was just so depressed and stuck. And all I was doing was listening to Drake, watching how I met your mother and eating chocolate. Three things I definitely didn't do as a monk. After I got out of that slump, I used to go to the library and sit there for hours, sending job applications, hoping I'd be able to move out my parents' home. And I was rejected by 40 companies. I felt like I wasn't enough. Surprise, surprise, no one wanted a former monk, right?

They were like, what are your transferable skills? Sitting still and being silent, we don't need that. And I felt like I wasn't enough when I sat in a job interview and someone said to me, hey, so tell me what you've been up to. Tell me about your recent work experience and I was like, oh my gosh, I don't have any. And I'd feel inadequate because that wasn't good enough for them.

And then when I talked to my friends, all of my friends were now dating, they were in good relationships. Some of them were moving into new apartments. Some of them were getting promoted. Some of them looked like they were winning at life, at least externally. And again, I felt like I wasn't enough. And I felt like I was behind. I felt like I was left behind.

And the worst thing was, I felt like it was all my fault because people had said to me that if I became a monk when I eventually failed which they predicted that I'd have committed career suicide. I would have let my parents down. I would be behind everyone. And now it felt like they were right. So I really felt like I wasn't enough.

Moved back into my parents loft, rejected from 40 companies, don't know where I'm going. And then sometime after I started dating Rady, who was my girlfriend at the time, is my wife today. And I remember meeting her family for the first time. They invited me over and they're wonderful people. I have such a great relationship with them. But it's really interesting how when you meet someone's parents for the first time and

actually you'll find this in all areas of your life, when you don't feel secure, when you don't feel like you're enough, you project that insecurity onto other people. So when we were at dinner, I was just hoping that I'd be able to dodge the one dreaded question I hope they didn't ask. And I was doing okay, I was like,

okay, I made it through dinner, I'm fine. This is gonna be all right. And then I remember sitting down with Raleigh's dad, and he's the sweetest man, and he didn't mean this in an intimidating way at all, but that's how I took it because of my own insecurity. And he said to me, so what are you gonna do for work?

And that question was like a dagger to the heart. I can't express to you just how uncomfortable and insecure I felt in that moment. And I didn't really have an answer. I felt like I wasn't enough. And I felt like I was lost, I was stuck, I was late, I was slow. I felt like I'd missed my opportunity. And what makes it worse is our comparison mindset. When you say things like I'm behind, it means you think someone else is ahead.

When you say things like I'm late, it means you think people are early. If you say things like I think I missed my opportunities, it's because you think other people took them. And so what we're really scared of is how we look in comparison to other people. How what we're really struggling with is how we feel we're perceived based on other people's supposed success. And all of that makes us feel like we're less, less, and less. Now, I want to give you an insight

into what I learned that evening. I remember when I got home, I was sitting and reflecting about why I felt like I wasn't enough. I'd always chosen to follow my heart based on what I studied at college, to becoming a monk. I'd lived a fulfilling life before, so why was it now that I was putting all this pressure on myself? And I realized it came down to one thing. I didn't feel like I wasn't enough based on the choices I'd made. It's about how I'd felt about the choices I'd made. Let me explain what I mean by that. And before I do that, I want to ask you,

how many of you have one of those emotions right now that I was feeling? How many of you feel like you're not enough, that you're behind, that you're stuck, that you're lost, that you're confused, that everyone's got to figure it out, but you. But if you are feeling that way, I want you to know you're in the right place.

The reflection that I came up with or realization that came to my mind that night was that I was seeing everything I'd done in life until that point as useless. Everything that I'd done up until the age of 25, I was seeing as a waste of time and meaningless. And now there was a tiny belief in me that I had to find something meaningful. I had to find something powerful. I had to find something positive. Basically everything up until I was negative, I now had to discover what was positive. And that was so wrong.

That mindset was so inaccurate. How many of you have ever looked to your past and thought, that was all a waste of time, now I'm going to find something meaningful. That is such a destruction of your history. It is such denial of the strength that you've accomplished, the pain you've been through. It all has meaning. Anything that helps you help someone else can't be worthless. It has value and meaning. The

problem was how I saw my life and the challenges, how you see yours. Know that your experiences are what make you special. You don't need a better story or journey. All of what you've been through is what made you who you are today. Your pain is enough, your story is enough, your challenges are enough, your mistakes are enough, your choices are enough, all of that is enough. It's not that you need a different past to create a different future. Your past as it is if accepted and embraced and seen as useful as collecting experiences, collecting skills, collecting people, everything that you've experienced. If you collect all of that and see it as worthy, what you can create is phenomenal.

You are enough. Your experiences are enough. And there's an incredible quote from Wayne Diahway. He said When we change the way we look at things the things we look at change And that's what I realized I had to change the way I looked at my past I couldn't see my three years as a monk as a waste of time. They weren't they definitely weren't But it's crazy how a mindset can convince you that they were you You might think, wow, I don't use my college degree, what a waste of time.

I promise you there's a connection, there's a relationship, there's a person, there's an assignment that you did at college that has actually made a difference in your life today. Now I'm not backing up college, I'm backing up the idea that every experience has had some positive impact in your life. I often think about it that,

why did I go to college? And then I remember some of the case studies I studied that informed my work now. I remember some of the relationships that taught me so much about friendship and connection. I remember some of my good choices and my bad choices and I wouldn't have learned them any other way. It's so important to take stock of your life

and actually accept that there is meaning and value there. Now, when you look at the studies, they talk about four types of self-worth, or four types of self-esteem. And I've taken some of these from research and thought about them myself, and I wanted to give you a bit of insight. So one of the first ones is security and safety. A lot of us didn't grow up feeling safe or secure with

our families, our parents. And so we are constantly feeling unsafe or insecure around other people. But feeling a sense of security and safety is such an important part of our self-worth. And the challenge is that if someone doesn't create that environment for us growing up, we have to focus on creating that environment for ourselves later on in life, and often instead of creating it, we're hoping to fall into someone else's. So often what ends up happening is that instead of creating it, we're hoping to fall into someone else's. So often what ends up happening is that instead of building it, we depend on someone else being that safety net because we didn't have it earlier.

This feeling of not being enough is what can make us co-dependent in relationships. It's also what can make us push partners away or allow toxic partners into our lives. Because if you don't feel a sense of security and safety, you accept any type of behavior towards you as safety and security because it gets you one step ahead of loneliness and one step ahead of being alone. And so that's where that particular one affects you in life is that if you don't feel that security and safety, chances are your romantic relationships and the relationships that are close around you

are going to struggle and suffer. So we want to focus on that one specifically for that reason. I'm Danny Shapiro, host of Family Secrets. It's hard to believe we're entering our eighth season. And yet, we're constantly discovering new secrets. The depths of them, the variety of them, continues to be astonishing. I can't wait to share ten incredible stories with you,

stories of tenacity, resilience, and the profoundly necessary excavation of long-held family secrets. When I realized this is not just happening to me, this is who and what I am. I needed her to help me. If something was annoying at me that I couldn't put my finger on, that I just felt somehow that there was a piece missing.

Why not restart? Look at all the things that were going wrong. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to season eight of Family Secrets on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. In the 1680s, a feisty opera singer burned down a nunnery

and stole away with her secret lover. In 1810, a pirate queen negotiated her cruise way to total freedom with all their loot. During World War II, a flirtatious gambling double agent helped keep D-Day a secret from the Germans. What are these stories having common? They're all about real women who were left out of your history books. If you're tired of missing out, check out the Womanica podcast, a daily women's history podcast highlighting women you may not have heard of, but definitely should know about. I'm your host Jenny Kaplan, and for me, diving into these stories is the best part of my

day. I learned something new about women from around the world and leafyling amazed, inspired, and sometimes shocked. Listen on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The second type of self-worth that studies talk about is identity. And this, I talk about through the lens of values. When you know your values, it's easier for you to make decisions about who you want around you and who you don't. It's easier for you to make decisions about what's aligned with your identity and what isn't, what places you go to, what projects you take on, what people you hang out with. All of that can be inferred by your values. This part becomes like a compass to you.

And so I'm giving you all of these because I want you to diagnose or check with yourself, which is the one you're struggling with. Now you may be struggling with a few of these, but I want you to figure out which is the first one you want to dive into for yourself because you can't do them all at the same time. And so how many of you are struggling with your values?

If I asked you what are your top three values, would you know? If I asked you what are your top three values in a friend, would you know? If I asked you what are your top three values in the person you want to become, do you know? And if you're unaware, I'm not asking that in a challenging way or an stressful way, it's just to make you aware that that's where you want to start putting your energy and emphasis.

Now, the next one studies talk about is the self-confidence we experience through competence, a skill, an ability that we have, and this one, of course, massively affects our careers. Most of us end up in jobs that were not that great at, because we were never told to focus on our skills. We were told to focus on the skills that jobs needed. And so there's a mismatch there. And so some of us actually feel low self-esteem or we feel like we're not enough because of our work, because we feel we don't have skills at work. Notice how it's such a subtle and specific thing, whereas you might have skills in something else, but you don't value yourself for that because that's not what's being measured at work. So, yourself worth, currently, yourself confidence could be based on safety and security,

could be based on your lack of identity and values, it could be based on an unawareness of your true competence and skills or being in a job or career that doesn't rely on the ones you love. And if we're neglectful of that, that can create more challenges in our career, because if you keep doing something you're not good at or can't get better at, and that's a second important point that you can get better at things you're not good at.

But if you don't do that act, your self-esteem and your self-worth could always be low. And that's what I want you to see with these four areas that in order for us to have 360 self-esteem yourself worth could always be low. And that's what I want you to see with these four areas that in order for us to have 360 self-esteem and self-confidence or total self-worth, it requires us to focus on these four areas. And without focusing on these four areas, it can be very, very challenging to build it. So some of you may be like, but I'm doing the affirmations in the mirror, but I'm, but I'm, you know,

working hard on my daily habits. I'm meditating every day. I'm working out every day. Why am I not solving myself worth? It's because of these. It's because of this. And I want you to come back to this. The fourth one that research shows is belonging or a sense of community. Do I feel like there's a place that I feel understood, right? There's a difference between being understood and just being comfortable. You might be comfortable about a bunch of people, but that's different from a sense of belonging.

The uniqueness in feeling like a sense of belonging is that when you talk, you feel almost like you don't have to add disclaimers and you don't have to over-explain yourself. Now, I'm not saying someone can read your mind. That's unhealthy and not realistic. What I mean is that you don't feel like you have to do the same kind of over-explaining that you might have to do with someone else or the kind of deep dive into an area because you have a shorthand with these people. Do you feel a sense of belonging?

Do you feel a part of something bigger? A lot of us need to feel like a part of something bigger in our lives. It's why we follow football clubs. It's why we take on religion or spiritual areas in our life. It's why we want to be part of a book club or whatever it may be. We all want to be a part of something because it gives us a sense of self-confidence.

And so I want you to reflect on your life and go, which one of these do you need to work on? And maybe it's all of them, and that's okay. And if I could suggest an order, I'd say that your identity and your values is a great place to start because that will help you choose the right community. It will help you build safety and security

and it will help you build competence and skills. But all of these can happen in any order, and it doesn't really matter. It just matters that you're aware of these areas. Now, I was talking to a friend, and I wanna talk about symptoms of how we feel like we're not enough, and he told me he was scared to start. And I asked him something that I've been asked before.

I said, are you scared of not starting or are you scared of starting at zero? Right? I said, you're not scared of starting, you're scared of starting at zero. That hits, right? That we can relate to that. We don't want to start at zero followers, zero subscribers, zero downloads, zero emails, zero phone number, zero contacts, whatever it may be. Even the number zero we have like a fearful feeling of. And the interesting thing is everyone starts at zero and that's okay. I actually don't even have a picture of my first presentation because zero people showed up.

So who would I have asked to take the picture? I remember being in a tiny, tiny little college classroom and practicing to an empty room. Now recently on Instagram, I was sharing these how it started, how it's going, and I love the feedback and all the comments that I got for that. And just the amazing response, because you got to see me speaking to groups of 10 people, 12 people, I had to dig out the archives and pull out these pictures. And I want to tell you a story.

One of those pictures that I posted, I literally drove for three hours to speak to a group of 10 people because one of my friends said that they'd be interested in spirituality. I think it paid. There's no followers involved. There's no money. There's no reward apart from the exchange in the room and guess what? I drive those three hours all over again. I'm sure you have something you drive three hours for. I'm sure you'd have something you drive six hours for. What is it that you already do? Now, when I was doing that, I never thought to myself, oh, I hope this gets bigger one day. Oh my gosh, why did no more people show up? I was just happy making an impact. And one of the reasons why we don't feel like we're enough if you're starting a side hustle, you started a podcast, you started a social media page, you are starting a book club,

whatever it is that you're doing that you're passionate about. One of the reasons, all you started working out and you want to lose your gain weight and you've lost zero or gain zero weight, right? One of the reasons we struggle so much is we live in a world today where numbers are astronomical and they're so in front of us. But if you actually focus on helping one person, adding one calorie, building one skill like that one is so powerful and it leads to two. It leads to three. It leads to four. So I want you to ask yourself this question, what is the first thing I can do? And what is the smallest thing I can do? If you have low self confidence or low self esteem right now, I want you to ask

yourself, what's the first thing I can do? and what's the smallest thing I can do? Because the challenge is usually what our mind is saying is, I don't just need to do one thing, I need to do lots of things and small things won't help me, I need to do something big to make a change in my life, right? That's the issue. We've conditioned ourselves to believe that we can only make change if we do a million things and if we do something big. And so I want you to ask yourself those questions, scribble them down right now, because guess what? You don't need a million followers to make an impact.

You don't need a podcast to make an impact. You just need to be fueled by your passion and you need to be developing real skills that will help you. And I remember at that time, I didn't think it would be big. I didn't put pressure on myself for it to be big. And one more important thing, I didn't know the path before I started. I figured it out as I went along 10 years ago, I wasn't saying, oh, I'm going to do this talk and then five people are going to turn into 100 and then one day I'm going to

launch a book and a park, like I didn't even think about all that stuff. All I thought was how do I help these five to ten people who care enough to listen to me. And I figured it out as I went along. So some of us are thinking I need to figure out step seven in order to start step one. And then we don't start step one and then we're thinking I need to know step seven eight, nine, ten. Right, we get so lost in taking the next step because we think we have to figure out the complete step and that's how we

continue to reduce our self-confidence Because we're thinking I need to think big I need to know every step before I start and I need To know start and I need to know not just the first step, whereas actually it's the complete opposite. What's the first thing I can do? What's the smallest thing I can do, right? So I wanna shift your mindset to that to help you make that shift.

So so far we've covered how we view our pain makes all the difference. We've talked about how everyone starts from zero and I want you to remember this. Your first time will never be your best time and it doesn't have to be your last time, right? Your first time will never be your best time and it doesn't have to be your last time. And I think that applies to a lot of things in life. But the first of I gave a presentation, it was definitely not my best. And if I made that the last time I gave a presentation, it was definitely not my best. And if I made

that the last time I gave a presentation, it would have stayed there, but it doesn't have to be my last time. And so I want you to remember that that first thing you do will probably be average. And it's more likely that it will fail and succeed. And as soon as you know that and accept that, you go, okay, that's okay, that's fine. I can still do this. And I want you to remember, your story matters. So don't abandon it. Don't abandon your own story. Don't abandon your own history

because it got you here. Mine it for truths, for stories, for experiences, for people and the greatness that came out of it. And here's one thing I want you to do that will help boost your self-confidence. I want you to help the person you were five years ago. You may think you have nothing to offer people. You may say, Jay, my self-confidence is so low,

I have nothing to offer people. All the studies show that when people in need help others in need, it helps them. Our confidence and self-esteem improve when we help others in need, it helps them. Our confidence and self-esteem improve when we help others. And you may say, Jay, well, I'm in no position to help others. Who am I to help anyone? Help the person you were five years ago.

I promise you, there's someone who's there who's three to five years behind where you are. You've moved on ahead a little bit, a tiny bit. Help that person. Become the person you needed five years ago. Because you have those skills, you moved on, you lived, you survived where you were five years ago. You're here to serve the person you were five years ago.

You're here to help the person you were five years ago. Because I promise you, one of the greatest gifts in life is having someone who's just a few years ahead of you. Everyone thinks they need to have a coach or a mentor who's like one of the leaders in the world. And what most of us need is to talk to someone who's just three to five years ahead, maybe three to five months ahead. Because we need to know what we need to do now. If someone's 20 years ahead, 10 years ahead, it can be quite hard. I want you to write three things down you've been through in three years that you think

you could help people on. Again, you don't have to be an expert. You don't have to have the solution, but you could talk someone through the challenge they're going through. What challenges have been you've been through? What pains have you been through? Not that you could coach on or be a therapist on or anything of that kind, but that you could be a friend on. I want you to remember helping others is helping yourself. If you want to boost

yourself confidence, remember these steps. How we view our pain makes all the difference. Everyone starts from zero. Your first will never be your best and it doesn't need to be your last. Your story matters. So don't abandon it and help the person you were five years ago. And remember that look at your life 360. Do you need to find more belonging? Is it your skills that you need to work on? Is it your career? Is it your values or is it a sense of security and safety? The more you break it down into these compartments, the easier it is to actually focus and prioritize. Thank you so much for listening to On Purpose. I appreciate you so much.

I hope that you'll keep coming back for more incredible episodes. I know some of you are listening to us every day, which means the world to me. And thank you so much for leaving your incredible reviews. I do take a look at them. And there were a couple of recently that I wanted to address around some episodes we posted. We posted some episodes where I was a guest. So if you thought I was talking too much to a guest, it's actually because we posted somewhere I was being interviewed. And so I just wanted to clarify that because I would never over talk my guests. I always like to sit and respect them. But I wanted to share insights from people interviewing me as well.

So, thank you so much. I appreciate you. I'm grateful for you. And I'll see you soon. I'm not much of a gambler. I don't care for cards or slots. And you'll never find me wagering on sports. But there is one thing I do bet on, myself. Today I hope to inspire you to do the same. The next seven minutes are about leaning into self-belief. I'm Jay Shetty, welcome to the Daily Jay. Let's start by taking three deep breaths to center ourselves in this moment. and breathing out, expanding and relaxing, sharpening our attention and bringing it to the present. Let's dive in. Today, I'd like to tell you a story about Venus Williams. Right before her first

pro-torneman, she was offered $3 million. Venus was just 14 years old, a prodigy, but outside of hardcore tennis circles, she was relatively unknown. She had not been competing on the junior circuit, the standard route for promising young players. Her dad didn't want her to burn out too soon, and he also wanted her to focus on school. So when Venus headed to Oakland, California, for the 1994 Bank of the West Classic, it was going to be her first competitive match in three years. Still, Nike saw something in her and extended a massive sneaker deal. The company wanted in on Venus' bright future and they were willing to pay for it. There was just one catch. The offer would expire the second she stepped

on the court. Three million dollars. For an untested 14-year-old, it was a no-brainer, right? Wrong. Venus turned down the deal, choosing instead to play. She and her father appreciated the offer, but they believed it was just their first, and that it wouldn't be the best. They believed that she would boost her value on the core. Venus bet on herself. Now if this seems foolish, it wasn't. Bold maybe, but not reckless.

Venus and her father weren't being arrogant or unrealistic. They weren't operating on blind faith. Venus had been practicing diligently with one of the best coaches in the country. She was a remarkable natural athlete and she had put in serious work to refine her game and Servenus knew what she was capable of. In that first tournament, Venus ended up facing the number two player in the world, and she held her own. Seven months later, Reebok came knocking with a five-year, 12 million dollar deal, an unprecedented amount for someone her age. Now that deal, she took.

Venus gambled, but she wasn't lucky. She was good. And yet most of us, faced with the same situation, would have probably taken the money. It can be a human instinct to cash in on a certainty, even if there might be something greater around the next turn. But sometimes a calculated leap of faith can pay off. Again, it's not about blind faith. Betting on yourself doesn't mean going all in with a bad hand. I'm not saying you should quit your job without a plan for the future or enter a marathon with no training at all. a plan for the future or enter a marathon with no training at all. What I am saying is to believe in yourself when you know you're ready for more. It's about trusting your process and your preparation and sometimes your gut. I get it. It's easy to be afraid of failure or embarrassment

to worry about what we may lose. So we play it safe when we really should go big. But next time, when you're faced with your $3 million Nike deal, don't just automatically jump at it. Ask yourself, are you worth more? And that's what we're going to work on for the rest of this session. We're going to do a short meditation and then we'll reflect on how you can bet on yourself. So get comfortable wherever you are, seeing if you can release a little tension. And I'd like to try one of my favorite exercises here, adding neck stretches to the rhythm of your breath. So inhaling and lowering your left ear to your left shoulder and exhaling

back to the middle. This time to the right breathing in and down and exhaling back to center. As you find your own rhythm, see if you can bring your full attention to the feeling of the stretch. The idea is not to do the biggest stretch ever. It's just to become aware of your movement. of your movement. Maybe you feel a sense of release. Maybe there's some tightness. Whatever you feel is okay. Keep tuning in. Now feel free to settle into stoneness.

And let's open this up. Think of a time when you settled for less than you thought you were really worth. When you wanted to go for something but you didn't. What was holding you back? Fear, complacency, self-doubt. Next time, can you consider betting on yourself? If today's session made an impact on you, go ahead and share it with someone else so that they can bet on themselves too. Thank you for joining today. I'll see you tomorrow.

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