On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Brendon Burchard: ON The Habits Of High Performers & How to Operate At Your Optimal Level

Episode Date: December 16, 2019

On this episode of On Purpose, I sat down with writer and public speaker Brendon Burchard, who was named by Oprah.com 'one of the most successful online trainers in history.' At 19 Brendon was in a horrific car accident and it taught him that at the end of life, we all ask: Did I really live my life? Did I love? Did I matter? You must know the questions you ask at the end of your life to evaluate whether or not you lived to your full-potential. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Therapy for Black Girls podcast is your space to explore mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, and I can't wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday. Listen to the Therapy for Black Girls podcast on the iHort Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Take good care.

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You can listen to How to Money on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did I live? Did I love? And did I matter? And it really hit me, I thought, that's a gift right there. Those are the questions I'm gonna ask if I'm ever gonna die. Did I really live my life? Did I love others? And did I make a difference? Did I matter?

Tonight, I'll go home, and I'll ask that same question. 23 years every night. How do you do so much? I go, when you live your life with intention and purpose, you can get a lot done. Hey, everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every single one of you.

Thank you so much for coming back every single week to listen, to learn, and to grow. I value your time so much that you take out time while you're walking your dog when you're driving in your car to work, when you're commuting, or maybe even while you're cooking. Thank you. Even if you're at the gym, thank you so much for taking out this time to listen, learn, and grow. And today's guest is none other than Brendan Boshard. Now, I know a lot of you are going to be excited for this episode. Brendan is one of the top coaches in the world,

an incredible speaker and incredible author, but most importantly, I want to share something with you. I was just telling him literally two seconds ago, when I joined social media in 2014, not as a creator, but as a user. I was always looking for people who were doing good on social media because I wanted to follow people that were empowering.

And I could pretty much, on Facebook memories, on this day, you know, you can type it in, I could pretty much find at least one Brendan quote per day that I used to share with whoever used to follow me at that time. And I think most posts of that time used to get two to four likes. So Brendan, I'll take credit for the two to four people. But honestly, it was just such a, his work was so refreshing to me. And the post that he was writing was so sincere and so genuine. And when I had the opportunity to meet Brendan, I think it was late last year or earlier this year, when we had the opportunity

to connect, I waited around after a keynote I was giving because I really wanted to meet him because I was just so impressed by what he had done. But more importantly, the way in which he did it, and he's just not disappointed. He's been really kind, really supportive and someone has really been there for me in this journey as well. So I want to open up your minds but also open up your hearts to a very, very special human being. Brendan welcome to the show. Thank you. And I wanted you to hear from my, for my mouth. And for this, I'm just going to go for the audio. Brennan Beshad is a highly recognized as the world's leading high performance coach. He's a magnificent writer, public speaker, and his books have been on plenty best cellar lists, including the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and more. He's coached and worked with everyone ranging from CEOs of massive companies to celebrities. Brennan's personal development trainings

have more than 300 million views. Over 2 million students have completed his online courses and video series. Oprah.com named him one of the most successful online trainers in history, and he's also had 28 seven figure online launches. His list of accomplishments goes on and on and on. But the most important thing is he's a true man of service and living an incredible life trying to help others. Brendan, thank you.

Thank you, brother. Thank you. I appreciate that. No, I mean it. You're truly, you know, I think we always have this feeling of you, you want to meet people. I'm sure you had them too. And you're always hoping that when you meet someone, they don't let you Yes, right? And I'm an optimistic person. So when I meet someone that I've been aspiring to meet, I'm always hoping that they're going to blow me away even more. That's my hope. And when I met you, it felt that way. So I just want to say Thank you. Thank you. You too. You too. It was so funny because we were running so many similar circles and our friends were like, you guys don't know each other.

You should meet up and thank you shout out to Lewis for introducing us and making sure that connection happened. And same thing, I was hoping I'm like, he's a monk, I hope he's like, calm, I hope he's centered, I hope he's got good vibrancy and joy in his heart and his eyes and you did. Even though you and I both were kind of road warrior a little bit at that moment.

We were out on the road. We were. And that road. We were. And that was late at night. And we just were chatting and just, you know, when you meet people and just your vibrant and enthusiastic part of you that comes out, right? Because you and I already do that for life in a job. But then when you meet somebody who draws you out more,

I was energized that night. So yeah. Really? I think you are always like that. You have great editing. So, yeah. I think you are always like that. You have great editing. Yeah, I'm happy. I'm living my second chance of life.

So, for me, after a big car accident when I was younger, every day is like bonus day. So, I'm already reverence for life. I'm happy, go lucky. But there are people who have an aura and a vibrancy. And everyone listening, they know that. There's those times, there's just some people who you're around, it kind of makes you pop and come alive and you smile a little more and you were that and I was like, oh that's what I wanted

for meeting Jay Shetty. I wanted to be like that and you were. Thank you, man. Let's, let's as you start there, I wasn't going to start there, but now that you've mentioned it, I want to start there. I want my audience to hear that story from you. Yeah. Because I think that everyone's either had one of those moments or they're going either had one of those moments or they're going to have one of those moments. And I want everyone who's listening and watching right now to either be prepared if they're about to have one or maybe not even wait for that to happen.

And for those who have had it to really use it to the advantage. So let's start with that. Accident that changed your mindset, that changed the urgency of life for you. Yeah, I'll give the takeaway because it's just a little bit of a long story. I know it is. You know, the takeaway is at the end of our lives, if we have a moment of cognition, we're going to lay there in bed, and we're going to ask questions about our life to evaluate where they're not we

were happy with it. And what I've always suggested to people is maybe don't pretend you're living your purpose unless you know the questions you're going to ask at the end of your life. How do you evaluate it? Because otherwise you're just kind of living randomly. But when you know, I'm going to evaluate my life this way at the very end. Now every day you can wake up with intention. Now every day you get to wake up with purpose, which is why I love the name of your show, because that's my thing too. It's like this deep connection to some type of purpose so that at the end of our life we're happy.

There's no regrets. There's no sadness. There's no, oh my gosh, why was I this way or why did I wait to do that? And my unique story is that I got that gift at 19 years old. The story is my girlfriend and I from high school, we were high school sweethearts, and like the super annoying kind.

And I'm like, we became like high school sweethearts and we were the make out of the locker. And you know, stop hanging out with their friends because they get so much lovey-dovey. That was us. We just so fell in love with each other. We stopped hanging out with friends, stopped doing anything else, fell in love. She wanted to go to college.

I was just going to do landscaping. I mean, I was going to do like art projects on this. I had no, I didn't have a real ambition to go to college yet. We went to college together, shared a U-Haul on the way over, live in the same dorm, sign up for the same class, it had the same friends, like the whole nine yards. Like literally, our life was completely intertwined. And then at the end of that,

in that first semester of school, she discovered beer and other men and cheated on me. And I don't know if you remember this way, but when your whole identity is wrapped up in a relationship and then the relationship falls apart, you fall apart. 100%. So I felt I fell apart. I fell mentally, emotionally, spiritually, completely apart.

Couldn't get out of bed. You stopped going to classes. Friends deeply concerned about me coming over, trying to motivate, let's go out and I'm like, I can't, I just would lay there and like cry, basically. And like two things really changed my life, which I didn't realize to later. One was I was, I was a reader. I'm really happy about all the accolades I've gotten everything else, but the thing that has driven my life is I love books. When I meet with people, I want to talk about books.

I love books. I love books. And so I was still reading. So here I am depressed in bed. And I remember this is like several days after I'd planned suicide. Full on, I like thinking about it, wrote the letter, made a couple calls, and it had planned to end my life.

Laying in bed, super sad, opened the school newspaper, and there was an ad in the school newspaper. So I'm reading, second thing to change my life is marketing. Here's this ad, full page ad, white sandy beach, turquoise water, blue sky, green palm tree, and across the top, like the best headline ever

for a young man in pain, the headline, across the top, said, escape. And I was like, yeah. You know, summertime job, students needed Dominican Republic. Wow. Now I'm in Montana at the time, at the University of Montana.

I don't even know. I have been to Montana. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't even know where Dominican Republic is, but I know she's not there. So I'm like, so I'm like, I've got, so take the job. We basically come glorified tour guides for an entrepreneur who works down there, who we knew.

And my friend, Kevin and I, we hop in the car one night and we go to return where we were staying. And we're going down the shore to 85 miles an hour and Kevin is driving. And we came upon the corner that, you know, here in the US, especially LA, you know, you turned shaped yellow sign, slow down 15 miles an hour,

but developing country, new road, no sign. So we go around the corner and Kevin immediately, like, grabs the wheel, and we go, oh, no! And he cranks it. And I just, I mean, I didn't know then was it, you know, what happened was emotional, spiritual, mental, you know, make believe who knows in my mind of what happened in the next couple of minutes. But when you're sliding the death storyway,

you have questions about life. It comes through as a feeling. Like, at first, like that brace, that terror in a car accident, there's a piece of that. If you ever think of it, you know you don't want to die. And if you ever been in a car accident that weird slow motion thing happens, so that's why I said, I don't know where it was because it's like a super slow motion. And I felt this brace and I really felt and sensed this like, did I live? Did I live my life?

You know, later I can think about like, you know, because of course we want to know, did we live vibrant and free and a lot, you know, our life? But at that point, you know, I lived her life. I lived my parents and professors' lives. And I really hadn't been living and been thinking about taking my life. We went to the car slid sideways off the road, and we hit this little retainer wall, and

it popped us up into the air, and I hit the side of my head, and I started seeing all these images of these times of my life when I was surrounded by people that I loved. And it was like these scenes. These just beautiful. It wasn't omniscient. It wasn't like a near-death experience per se. It was just these beautiful scenes when I could see family members and everybody else. Because at the end of your life, you think about who you're going to miss and who's going to miss you, which triggers this other question of, did I love?

And you know, you talk about it too. We want to know that we really love fully and completely and free, not from terror or fear or need. I hadn't loved my heart had been shut down. And I always say to people, it's like, you have to be careful, we've been hurt, because we build up these walls to protect ourselves. We put on the mask, or we get, you know, serious and stiff. But when you build up that wall to give out the bad guys, you also block out the good guys. And in our own self protection, we block out the very things we really desperately desire, which is connection. Car hit the ground, rolled several times. I got knocked out completely. When I came to Kevin, next to me in driver's seat screaming at the top of his

terrified his eyes were like wild like an animal and a huge chunk of his head is open and there's just blood everywhere in this fear it's like what's going on but I'm like in shock he crawls outside the driver's side window I go to get outside mine but I can't the car smashed on me and all I have is this hole that used to be in the windshield. And I push myself through and I stand up on the hood of the car. He's screaming, screaming, sun-greaming, but I mean, this thud hollow, I don't know how to describe the shock. And I look down and I saw on my body.

I'm covered in blood. And this just terror hits me. Remember, 19, and I feel life draining literally physically out of me. And I just remember life feeling it's draining away. And I just remember looking at my feet, which was covered in blood. And I just thought, did I even matter? You know, did I even matter? Did I even make a difference? Was there a reason I was here? And oh man, it was the worst because I didn't feel like I did. And then I looked down and the blood was going off the hood of the car

and there was a glint, there was a sparkle in the blood. And I didn't know what it was. It was a reflection, so made me look up. And there was a bright, big, beautiful moon that night that I didn't know what it was, it was a reflection, so it made me look up. And there was a bright big beautiful moon that night that I didn't even see earlier. And it was like this arresting connection. I just felt this connection. And I felt like, you know, I was almost an immediate sense of grace. I was like, I'm going to be okay.

I almost felt like I was told I I'm gonna be okay. I almost felt like I was told I was gonna be okay. And so I call that like my life's golden ticket moment because I felt like the big guy upstairs because I believe in God reached down and handed me like life's golden ticket. Here you go, kid. You're still alive. You can still love. You can still matter. But now you know the clock is ticking. still matter, but now you know the clock is ticking. You're lucky young man, you're still alive. And my whole life, I was just like, in that moment, I remembered literally looking up this moon, and I didn't know what the feelings were at the time, because I've had a lot of time to think about this, obviously, 23 years ago. And I just remember thinking, I will earn this. And I just remember thinking, I will earn this.

And I felt that next breath is like, I'm gonna be okay. Kevin and I, I don't mean to ruin the story for everybody but I survived. It's like I'm okay. I'm alive. Kevin survived. Lots of cuts, bruising, broken bones, terrified kids. But for me, what I took away with it was both the reverence for life, the appreciation

for life, the timing of life, that the clock is ticking on all of us, but also this desire that I want to earn it. Like I felt so blessed. I felt like I got away with it. You know what I mean? Like, how did I skirt death? I want to earn this. So in the hospital later, I was thinking about those feelings and I was like, oh, wow. I kind of asked myself, did I live? Did I love and did I matter?

And it really hit me at that. That's a gift right there. Those are the questions I'm going to ask if I'm ever going to die. Did I really live my life? Did I love others? And did I make a difference? Did I matter?

And so I decided, little, remember, I'm 19. I decided at 19, I said, every night I'm going to go to bed, I'm gonna ask those three questions about my day. So I've asked those for 23, tonight, I'll go home, and I'll ask that same question, 23 years every night. If you, how do you do so much? I go, when you live your life with intention and purpose,

you can get a lot done. Because the nights that I can't say yes to those questions, there's not like, I hate myself from sad, right? But the nights I can say yes, I sleep well. And so I had just, I've had the simple mission like I love your mission, make wisdom go viral. Mine has been maybe more depressive to tell people,

to tell people you're gonna die. So how about this? Figure out the questions you're gonna to ask to evaluate your life. Mine or did I live, did I live, did I matter? Yours might be, was a great brother. Was a great mom. Did I build a movement? Did I? Everyone's going to evaluate it differently.

I don't have the answer for anybody. I don't know their purpose. But I say, just think. If you're 90 on the rock and chair, or you're 105 on the rock and chair, you're 200 in the hospice. You know, how old're all do you are. If you have a monocognition, you're evaluating life.

How do you know if you lived a good one? Now wake up every day with the intention to do that. Live a good, so you're happy with the answers at the end. Our 20s are saying, is this golden decade. Our time to be carefree, full in love, make mistakes, and decide what we want from our life. But what can psychology really teach us about this decade? I'm Gemma Speg, the host of the psychology of your 20s.

Each week, we take a deep dive into a unique aspect of our 20s, from career anxiety, mental health, heartbreak, money, friendships, and much more to explore the science and the psychology behind our experiences, incredible guests, fascinating topics, important science, and a bit of my own personal experience. Audrey, I honestly have no idea what's going on with my life. Join me as we explore what our 20s are really all about from the good, the bad, and the ugly, and listen along as we uncover how everything is psychology, including our 20s.

The psychology of your 20s hosted by me, Gemma Speg, now streaming on the iHot Radio app, Apple podcasts or whatever you get your podcasts. Conquer your New Year's resolution to be more productive with the before breakfast podcast. In each bite-sized daily episode, time management and productivity expert, Laura Vandercam, teaches you how to make the most of your time, both at work and at home. These are the practical suggestions you need to get more done with your day. Just as lifting weights keeps our bodies strong as we age, learning new skills is the mental equivalent of pumping iron. Listen to before breakfast on the iHeartRadio app,

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That's so beautiful. Thank you for sharing that in such a profound and moving way as well. And what I love about that and how you've translated that into what you do now is that I think a lot of us are gifted, like you said, the golden ticket, a gifted with golden ticket moment, some are more extreme or less extreme than what you described. And it doesn't really matter where on the spectrum it is,

we all have those moments. And I think what's fascinating is that so many of us have that glimpse, but then we struggle to translate that glimpse into real transformation. Or we struggle to translate this emotive, inspiring, deep, personal moment into something very practical, active, and tangible. And I think anyone who's watched a motivational video

or been through a life-changing accident will say they've felt that, where they've had a moment where they're like, oh, I felt it, yeah. In my body that I was meant to do this, but then the next day, I just didn't feel like getting up. Tell me how you started to form the habits that were needed for you to live this every day.

And you've already taught us one beautiful one, just like the one you just said, but how were you able to really take that through and start developing a world and a life to live up to those questions? Yeah, I mean, stage one was I was honest that I was a hot mess. You know, like I came back from the accident

and I'm like, I'm a mess. I've been depressed. I was gonna kill myself. I'm sad, I'm a mess. I've been depressed. I was going to kill myself. I'm sad. My grades suck. My friends are kind of like losers, not in a judgmental way to them, but in how I wanted to feel. They made me feel bad about myself.

And that's why I think a loser isn't what they have accomplished. It's how they make other people feel. Two different things. They made me feel bad. And I thought, I don't have it together. And that began my great and long term committed search to studying psychology. Because I'm like, why do I think so dumb? Why do I feel so bad about myself? How do you overcome, depression? How do I deal with this sadness? Why do I still have so much hatred in my heart about something that happened so long ago? Like, just all this, like people

say for forgiveness, how do you do that? So I started reading everything in psychology first, then I came in a personal development, then I got into spirituality, then I got into leadership development, then I got into business. It was every single thing of like, how do I change myself? So much so you and I have the shared history. You were both worked at a consulting company. Absolutely. I was a change management consultant. Because I spent literally from that moment for the next six years studying change in

somewhere or another, studying psychology, studying political science, studying organizational communications and management to see how do you, how do people change? And so I became in fat choice. So in personal development, I studied like Dale Carnegie and Napoleon Hill and Earl Nightingale and Zig Ziglar and Jim Ronan and Marianne Wimson, Debbie Ford and Louise Hay and Wayne Dyer and you know Tony Robbins and just Brian Tracy and anyone can get my hands on there. In psychology, I got into Carl Rogers and Abraham Maslow and Alfred Aydler. In political science, I was studying this person in philosophy.

I was going down the rabbit hole and I was just eating and absorbing it and asking the questions every day and trying to live it. And the most important thing that my time I said, you know what? I want to learn to be confident. I want to learn how to communicate well. And I want to learn to have great relationships. So I studied those things really intensely.

And I just tried them. I tried them. And I just, I literally, I was so good about making little goal sheets and trying it. And that was the year I also began my monthly goals. So on the first day of every month, to this day, I write a personal goal and a professional goal that is the outside of all the things

that I'm projects I'm trying to achieve. The personal goal is something like, be more patient this month. The therapy for Black Girls podcast is the destination for all things mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. Here, we have the conversations that help black women dig a little deeper into the most impactful relationships in our lives, those with our parents, our partners, our children, our friends, and most importantly, ourselves.

We chat about things like what to do with a friendship ends, how to know when it's time to break up with your therapist, and how to end the cycle of perfectionism. I'm your host, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, and I can't wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday. Listen to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Take good care. Not too long ago, in the heart of the Amazon Rainforest, this explorer stumbled upon something that would change his life. I saw it and I saw, oh wow, this is a very unusual situation. It was cacao.

The tree that gives us chocolate, but this cacao was unlike anything experts had seen or tasted. I've never wanted us to have a gun bite. I mean, you saw this tax of cash in our office. Chocolate sort of forms this vortex. It sucks you in. It's like I can be the queen of wild chocolate. You're all lost. It was madness.

It was a game changer. People quit their jobs. They left their lives behind so they could search for more of this stuff. I wanted to tell their stories, so I followed them deep into the jungle, and it wasn't always pretty. Basically, this like disgruntled guy and his family surrounded the building armed with machetes. And we've heard all sorts of things that, you know, somebody got shot over this. Sometimes I think, oh, all these for a damn bar of chocolate.

Listen to obsessions, wild chocolate, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you bar of chocolate. Listen to obsessions, wild chocolate, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Conquer your New Year's resolution to be more productive with the before breakfast podcast in each bite-sized daily episode. Time management and productivity expert, Laura Vandercam, teaches you how to make the most of your time, both at work and at home.

These are the practical suggestions you need to get more done with your day. Just as lifting weights keeps our bodies strong as we age, learning new skills is the mental equivalent of pumping iron. Listen to before breakfast on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And every day I look out on the way out, I put on the door, I'd walk out and be patient. No matter what, my other goals or objectives were that was the defining personal theme.

So I created monthly challenge themes for 23 years. You know what? Patients have come up a lot of times. You know, it's like joy has come up a lot of times. Yes. You know, staying centered has come up a lot of times. It's not like I have ever achieved, I've known it achieves personal development or purpose.

Mm-hmm. It is like an intention and a dedication. And so that's where it started. And by studying all that, it gave me the edge. I really believe when you are a student of life, especially in psychology and philosophy, you get the edge. Because when people are having problems, you can see perspective around it.

And once you have perspective, you got superpowers. Because most people are trapped in their problems. And if you have perspective of how people have solved or managed these things in the past, you have superpowers to people. They can't believe it. Like how did you know to say that or that? I'm like, oh, I read that in a person of Ellen book

10 years ago. And that made the big difference for me. Wow. It made me a big difference. So it's just reading. I mean, I read a book a week for 23 years. I love that. Never missed.

I was not sure. Four times in my life, I missed two of them were in the hospital. So that's it. Oh, wow. I'm a reader. And then I try to were in the hospital. So that's it. Oh wow. I'm a reader. And then I try to apply it. Yeah.

And then the ultimate challenge is I made my career about it that forced me to develop skill. When I was a consultant first, then it became a coach, then decided to become a researcher and a writer in this field. I had to prove my chops. There was no, just talk about it, it wasn't posting on Instagram,

because I didn't have that. It was, can I sit in a room with an executive and change? Yeah. Can I get the change? Can I sit with a high profile athlete who's in trouble with their behavior? Can I get the change? Can I sit down with a person who wants to start a business

and give them that confidence they need? Like whatever it was, it was real-time challenges for so long that fortunately that experience helped me. Yeah, absolutely. And I love what you're talking about because I think we have such an answer obsession today. Like we're all looking for the answers. We're all trying to find the answers.

And actually what you're saying is the emphasis should be on the questions, finding the right questions to us, and then finding where to find the answers to those questions, which led you into psychology and led you into political science and led you into philosophy and led you to all these places. Because you were asking the right question. And I think there's such an answer obsession today with we want the answer. We want to know how this works and why it works. But we've just got to go deeper into asking that question more sincerely, more genuinely, and so much more comes from that because you just feel inspired by that question.

I feel, and what you mean by student of life? Like when you're student of life, it means you're questioning. That's it, right? That's what it means. What else does it mean? Talk about questioning. Like I had been doing seminars and coaching for six, seven years at a really high level, but I was wondering, is my stuff right?

Is it true? Am I one of these guys who just taught, let me super test it so we didn't research. I teamed up with a researcher from University of Pennsylvania's Positive Psychology Department and a researcher at UC Santa Barbara. We conducted the World's Largest Study

of High Performers of All Time. No other study has been this big, this comprehensive, this deep dot. 190 countries? 190 countries. I mean, millions of data points. And the reason, because no one would spend the money on it, I was like, oh, oh, I'll kick this. Let's figure this out, because I want to know that what I'm doing is precise and academically validated. But I only bring that up because the first habit that we discovered of high performers worldwide and high performers tend to be the top 15% of successful people in whatever field that is. And usually, you know, and that's the broad 190

countries. In the US, it's the top 3%. Hands down, the habit that really changed their trajectory was this habit called seek clarity. No, it doesn't say get clarity. High performers seek clarity, I'll give an example. Me, like with Oprah. I've had a blessing working with Oprah. If you have a meeting with Oprah, when she walks that meeting,

her first thing she asks is, what's our intention for this meeting? Now, lots of executives walk in meetings and they just start the meetings. She's seeking clarity of what it is it's about, and you take an under performer in the work world or at your job, they just bumble in and they're like, okay, let's just do it. High performers go, what is this about? Where does it fit in?

What's the priority? They're asking themselves questions constantly and not questions of self-doubt, questions of clarity. Like, who could I be? What's my belt self look in this situation? You know, that's a question. High performers ask. They want to know how can I be of most service in this situation?

A lot of people just go through the motions. High performers see clarity, ask the questions, and because they get clarity and see clarity throughout the process, they get ahead faster. Because a lot of people just, and they're good, but a lot of people are just brunt force workers, they'll just go and do it, they'll just apply force and will and hope and fire

and hours at something, but often they're running in the wrong direction. Yeah, absolutely. High performers, you know, it's like in directions, some people will drive for 50 minutes. Other people will pull aside in five and go, hey, where do I go? That's the high performer and they're gonna get their faster in succeeding life.

That's seeking clarity. And that sometimes feels scarier to do because you have to open up yourself to vulnerability, not knowing you feel like you're not intelligent now or the other person may perceive you as different. Like, how do you break that barrier of like being okay with saying, you know, I don't know when I want to find out. How do you break that?

Because I think for so many people, even raising their hand at an event or going up and really asking you a question, I used to say to people all the time, I was like, when you see someone you admire, stop asking for a picture, ask for a question. You know, it's like, oh, I love that. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? I asked for pictures all the time and I'm like, why, if you had a moment, like, let's just imagine,

let's take Oprah, you have a moment with Oprah, you can ask a picture or you can ask for a question. Yeah. You know, it's like, it's that there. And if I meet you, it's like, you can ask for a picture. I'm gonna ask Brendan for a question. You studied under 90 countries in the top of form is. Yeah. I'm hoping I would ask your question. Yeah. And I think, so how do

you get there? How do you get to a point where you, you, why are you brain in such a way that you're, you break the fear of, I'm scared of looking silly. I'm scared of looking stupid. I'm scared of looking like I don't know. And I actually recognizing that's a strength. Yeah. I would say maybe not the most popular answer. I go to the fear. How are you going to look silly or stupid? You're not going to ask questions and you're going to end up in the wrong place and people are like, why don't you just ask? Like follow the fear. If the fear says, I'm scared, I'm looking stupid by asking questions like, well, let's flip that. Because if you don't ask questions,

you're definitely gonna look stupid. You're definitely gonna end up in the wrong place. You're definitely, I mean, you're manifesting the very thing you fear by not doing the thing that you're scared and being, you know, you don't wanna be vulnerable about. So I think, one, first, I'm always a guy, I'm like, pay attention to the research.

If the research clearly says, like, I'm a little bit scientific in my mind, that way, I'm like, pay attention to the research. If the research clearly says, like I'm a little bit scientific in my mind, that way, I'm like, if the research says clearly across 190 countries and some of the most successful people on the planet, they ask more questions and they're intentional and thoughtful about that, then start monitoring your questions. Because what most people will do, and you know this, a lot of their questions are horrible. Why do I suck? Why don't I fit in? Why don't I have what she has? What's wrong with me? This is what people do ask. If people listen to their thoughts, a lot of their thoughts are negative questions.

What's wrong with me? You're already asking questions. The quality of your questions are probably pretty low. Great. So now we need to first more actively seek and ask questions, be vulnerable about it, pay attention to the quality questions you're already asking. And what we found in the research was really easy for people if they want to draw the circle out. Yeah, they're drawing these circles out. It's specifically we went to the research and I interviewed 300 of the top high performers in the world. Not for podcasts, but in real structured academic style. And here's what they tend to be more clear about. They are more clear about

self, social, skill, and service. And here's the breakdown of that. Self is they have an intention of who they want to be. And they're clear about that. Like, if you could describe your ideal self, we do this in the research is actually on video. It's interesting. If you ask an under performer or a high performer on video, could you describe your ideal self, drop three or four words to describe your ideal self? High performers, pop, pop, pop, the dancers like fall right on their mouth. Under performers like it's almost like they never thought about it. Yeah. So they didn't have the intention about who they wanted to be.

So what I have people do is in their phone, I have them program their alarm to describe their best self and three words and make that alarm pop up throughout the day. So you're walking because you always look at your phone with buzzes. It buzzes the alarm and it says bold, dynamic, confident, great. Says that over and over or kind, loving, thoughtful, you know, or generous, empathetic, you know, whatever. When that pops up over and over and over, it starts to set the intention in the mind a little bit. That's why people should use affirmations to. On the social side, they were incredibly intentional about how they wanted other people to feel. You and I just talked

about this out there about what I love about you is you want people to feel like they are your friend and you want to feel like a friend to them. That's a social intention. You're clear about that. And you even said when you got clear about that, something changed for you. Yeah, that's it. It was huge. And I think what I love about what you're saying right now is this, we always get lost

in the confusion of who we are, even at the most basic things. So what I say to people, like how many times have you ever stayed up and struggled to find something to watch on Netflix? It sounds like a stupid example, but my point is, I'm guessing a high performer knows exactly what type of movies they like. That's right. They know what type of food they like in the morning for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

And when you ask people, they'll say, oh no, no, but I like being spontaneous. And often I think that that's answer means I don't know, or I don't really think about these things. And so if you ask a hypermole, what kind of movies do you like? They'll be able to say, these are my favorite movies. I found that when I could have more self-awareness about what movies I like, I had more self-awareness about how I wanted to be in social situations and self. And I think it starts with the small things and the big things. Yeah. Everything from what you want to eat for breakfast, all the way through to how you're going to serve

and impact the world. This is a superpower you have because you meditate, because you journal, you write, you reflect. That reflective process of our lives has gotten kind of stolen away by the distractions. So people don't know. And you could see, you could see a video, the distractions. So people don't know and you could see you could see a video They're like they don't know the other element is skill

so They like high-performer you say What's two or three skills you work on in your life right now that you're actively learning or training on? They're like pop pop pop under performers like I don't know Like they're almost hoping to get better and you're're like, oh no, you need to decide. These are skills like for me. I sucked on video. Sucked on video.

No, I got my video guide Travis here right here. He could tell you 10 years ago I was kind of horrible. Really? Yes. Oh wow. It was a nut. It was a nut. I couldn't believe it.

It was awful. I mean, even before him I had the, you remember Flip video camera? Yes, no one knows what I'm talking about. nut. I'm not even a nut. I couldn't believe it. It was awful. I mean, even before him, I had the, you remember Flip video camera? No one knows what I'm talking about. Oh yeah, okay. No, I remember. The Flip video camera, it was like, just a stick and I had a button on it.

And I was broke living in an apartment at the time and I duct tape it around this box and press the button. And I had my shirt was all open. And my hair was like all over and I was like, I'm brand new. Because I didn't know how to talk to a camera. I didn't know how to be myself. Yeah, video was really awkward for me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And all the personality tests, believe it or not, I'm half introvert, half, I'm right down the line between introvert and next spring. So I need my personal time. So camera was super awkward for me here. And I was like, okay, but if I want to change the world, guess what is necessary?

Communication skills. I'm going to have to learn that. I wasn't raised in a place. I was raised in Montana where men didn't really communicate, except with looks, glances, and fists. You know, so it was like, if a guy lifted, it wasn't like, we're gesturing. Right, right. Where I'm from, if their hand came up, you were getting punched in the face, man.

That was it. So I had to, if their hand came up, you were getting punched in the face, man. That was it. So I had to learn emotional intelligence. That's a skill. So communication, emotional intelligence, when I got into our business, I had to learn copyright, I know what that was. Email marketing, I didn't know that. I had to learn coding.

I don't, none of that, I knew what it was, but I was always confident. And I think real confidence is your belief in your ability to figure things out. I believe in my ability to figure things out. Give me enough time, energy, resources, study, books, mentors. I will figure out, ain't you want me to go to the moon? I'll figure it out. Even though I have no idea today, I can learn and get mentors so that's a deep part of my life. High performers have that. They just believe they'll figure

things out. That confidence is what ties a lot of their habits and their abilities together. So skill set. Oh, I've been alone copywriting a video. So I practice video a bajillion times. I forced myself to do it a bajillion times. And now I have 28 online courses and Travis has been there. I shoot all of them extemp. Literally, I'll do a two hour video with the flip chart, five words on a pen. I don't need a script or anything. Going from a kid who was like, but I couldn't get it out to just flowing,

do four days seminars by myself for 10 hours a day on stage speaking. Artists lose their voice sometimes, singing for three hours. I go 10 hours a day on stage speaking. Like, you know, artists lose their voice sometimes singing for three hours. I go 10 hours a day for four days. I don't learn vocal control. I had no idea how to do that. That was a skill. But that's the important thing.

Everyone listening, please write down what are the top skills you would need to master to succeed in your purpose, in your life, in your career. And the last element there was service. High performers, they kind of know the service they want to bring to the world. That's what I was like, Jay's going to smash this. Because you were so humble, you were like, I've only been doing this X amount of time, Brendan. But you already knew you won Mick Wisden Goviral, and you knew what was true to you.

You knew the type of purpose you wanted to make. And you're still seeking in that out and clearing up, like we all are, but hyper-formers know the service they want to give to the world. And they don't know it exactly or perfectly, but they're intentionally moving towards that. And so for those who are like, I don't know if I have clarity. I'm like, okay, get clarity about yourself a little more. About how you want to treat people and be with people, about what you yourself a little more about how you want to treat people and be with people about what you need to develop and how you want to give or serve. And if you focus on that, like every day,

every week you're conscious of those four things, one day you're just so much more confident and clear. Absolutely, yeah, and what I love about that is just this, sometimes it's just what you're fascinated with right now. That's right. Because I think sometimes we make it too big and we're like, oh, well, what's my big purpose or what's my big service to the world?

And it's like, well, what moves you right now? Like, what are you interested in right now? When I mean, mine was totally the opposite way. I grew up as a really shy kid. I'm right down the middle of Intra and Extraord 2. And my parents forced me to go to public speaking in drama school when I was 14 years old. Oh my God.

Because they were scared that I was too shy and I was too much of an introvert and I didn't know how to communicate. So my parents forced me to go from my school. It's an extra curricular activity. I went three times a week, three hours every week from ages 14 to 18. The practice, the exams, we were examined on reading a paragraph from a book with tonality and being able to bring a story to life just through words and visuals and then being able to, there was this thing called

impromptu presentations where you got a subject five minutes before you had to go in and talk about it. And you'd be able to talk about it and you couldn't say anything that wasn't true. So you had to make sure that it was all factual and whatever you did resets in those five to ten fifteen minutes was right And and I remember doing that and I get to the end of that and I was like, oh well I've got this skill now, but I don't know what to use it for because that's basically what I was like at 18 I've learned that in public speaking. I'm now four years into my London Academy of Music drama and arts and I've got You know gold medal in this this this this but I was like, what do I do with this because I had nothing to talk about? And then when I started studying philosophy from the Eastern perspective of the

Vedas and the Bhagavad Gita, I was like, oh, this is what I was meant to learn it for. Like, it almost like was I had a skill with no service. Sure. And I don't want, and that's what I'm saying that if you're listening to this right now and you have a skill with no service, don't worry. Or if you have a service with no skill, don't worry. That's right. You know, just go and find the missing piece of the jigsaw you just gave us. Yes. This four piece jigsaw you just gave us. Chances are you probably have one of them. Yeah. And then you can go and build the other three. But don't worry about having all of them now. Right. Right. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. I love that. And you you follow those interests and develop them or develop skills without even knowing how

so many people want the path to be completely clear now. And you and I were just talking about this. It's like, you, you, you, you have to have faith in the timing of the path. You have to believe that serendipity will appear when it's supposed to appear that purpose will reveal itself sometimes in one battle and sometimes in another battle, sometimes in this game or that game or this thought or that activity. And I think people stress way too much about getting clarity. And that's why I love the phrase seeking clarity, which came from research lately. They're actively seeking.

It's not like a 60 year old high performer has everything figured out more than a 30 year old high performer. By definition, what's making them high performers, they're both still seeking to dial it in. Like you and I are gonna be dialing it in our whole life. Sometimes it'll be a shift, sometimes we'll be a total break, sometimes it'll, but that doesn't stop for anybody. No, it just doesn't.

Yeah, I love that. I love that differentiation between getting and seeking clarity. The other thing that fascinates me that you've written about high performers is this strive for perfection. But high performers can often be hard on themselves. Yes. And I'd love to hear your perspective on this. It's this difference between the pressure that we place on ourselves

versus complacency. Yeah. Because I think right now we're hearing a bit of both out there on social media and everywhere. A lot of people are confused. It's like, do I really go hard on myself? Am I really disciplined and am I really harsh to myself? Or actually, do I just let it go and just let it flow and let it happen? And I want to hear what your research on the high performance set came into perfection versus progress. Yeah, there's no question they're more into progress

than perfection, there's no question, there's like zero question that they are working on that things that move the needle in their life. So they're focused on the things that matter most. So they're good at wheeling out distractions, but you know what I was telling you was, if you think you're a perfectionist, you're probably lyingist, you're

probably lying. And the reason that is, and people hate me, I say that. But if you look it up in the book, in the dictionary, it's like perfection, like if you actually look at perfection or too perfect, it comes from that root to perfect. To perfect does not mean it's done. To perfect means, like two things happen in that condition of to perfect. First, it has to be an iteration or a start, it has to be done in like first draft.

To perfect it means take it from being done, being released, being out there, being come, where you feel like it's a start, and then to perfect it, to keep working on it, to keep iterating on it. And what perfection, what perfectionists always say, here's what they really say. Well, I haven't started yet because I'm a perfectionist

and I'm only gonna do it if I can get it completely right. No, you're lying. There's a difference between, there's a difference between perfecting and being fearful. Yes. And what most perfectionists are is they're scared. They're scared to start and scared not to get it right. So they don't even begin. Yeah. A real perfectionist is so in friggin' motion. They are. They're perfecting. They're beating it up. They're iterating. They're dialing it in and they are active at it.

To perfect requires an active improvement. And most people who say their productions are actually dead stop fear. Yeah. And so I'm just like, be clear about where you're at. Yeah, absolutely. No, I think that's great advice. I love that advice because I've always had a rule

since I started that all my videos are 70% complete. So that's my rule. It's 70%. That's all you're getting. There's words that I say wrong. There's fumbles. There may be a few mistakes here and there. The editing may be slight, but it's like my rule was 70%

because that journey from 70 or 75 to 99 could take decades. Yeah, you can never, I would never release something. And I remember in 2016, after my first ever video, one of my first videos that went viral, I actually got so scared because it was almost like, oh, I have to live up to that now. So I remember not creating. Yeah. And so I went from creating one video a week to creating one video a month. And guess what?

I learned less. I was engaging less to connect with my audience to understand what they needed and what I was giving. And I was trying less ideas, which meant that I wasn't learning. I wasn't growing at all. I wasn't progressing. And the world was being taken from getting more beautiful. Which came from a place of not thinking like that. Which came from a place of not trying to be perfect. Exactly. The original video that did well came from a genuine place of just wanting to serve and trying to figure it out and then all of a sudden we're not serving anymore.

So good. And so I was like, okay, this doesn't make any sense. And I was like, actually, and then last year when we started making more videos, I can honestly hand on my heart and say that when we started doing three videos a week, I started to learn so much more. I was like, oh, I really like it when I write like this. And I really like it when I create like this. And the audience really responds when I share it this way. And I was learning so much more. And I was feeling more fulfilled by making more mistakes, but learning more. So my mistakes increased.

But you're learning increased too, which was a much more fulfilling place to be, even though it was tough at times, but it was fulfilling. I love that. Yeah, I love that. If you guys are listening and you're thinking, oh, there's just two podcasts, a guy's jamming about how it's fulfilling. I love that. Yeah. I love that. If you guys are listening and you're thinking, oh, there's just two podcaster guys jamming about how it's so easy to get started.

Let me share with you this one of the higher performers in the world, Jeff Bezos, sort of a little company called Amazon. Tiny. He talks about this idea that he and executive team makes decisions when they have about 60% of the information. So I'm 10% above Jeff A. Yeah, I should. Yeah, actually,

well, you just think about that for a minute. Like, wait a minute. A person and a team that could get all the information in the world, what they do is they're moving forward, even when they don't have everything. And what perfectionists do, what they don't realize is there's a different

between perfection. Remember, perfectionists to perfect in they don't realize is there's a different between perfection. Remember, perfection is to perfect in motion, iterative, moving, it's active. What they also can't admit sometimes is the real struggle is they're indecisive. Most perfectionists, they actually know the next moves. And I'm like, go, SWAT team, make it happen. They really sit, drop it, do it, go.

And I'm cheering them on, I'm like, go. Like, forAT team, make it happen. Release it, drop it, do it, go. And I'm cheering them on, I'm a go. Like for everyone listening, you need to know high performers are decisive, not because they are like, I know everything and I've got clarity, I know, they know if they don't drop it, if they don't release it, if they don't do it, they can't iterate and make it better, they can't learn just like you said,

and worse, they can't be of service. Because when you're in silence in your life, and you're in silence because of fear in your life, not silence like the way you and I talk about in a positive way, being still in silence inside, that's a positive thing. But when you are in silence in a way in which you are suffering because of fear,

you are not going to be able to serve. You have to be in motion to serve. You have to release things to perfect it. You got to be decisive. Almost everybody listening, I did this course with Oprah Winfrey Network called your next bold move. And that language of being bolder, everybody listening probably should do that. And not because I'm saying, you know, carte blanche, everyone should be bolder. I'm just saying carte blanche, everyone should be bolder. Like they should. Like, be bold.

Like for me, bold is, we just did the influencer event. I think you were sitting there and I was, I was sitting there and they were like, why don't you just ask your friends? You have all these people who, they've learned their careers from, they'll help, they'll help, they'll help. They'll just ask them to come and speak.

And being bold is asking sometimes, not just taking some huge action, it's asking for help. I wish there's a 19 year old kid I could look back and say, hey, kid man, you're going to kill yourself. Ask someone for help. Tell someone what's going on your head. Raise your hand. like admit it, be vulnerable. And I didn't know that. That would have been bold. That would have been

bold, been vulnerable. And so it bold doesn't have to be swat team take down the world. Sometimes ask for help, put yourself out there and know you'll figure out, you'll catch that clip, you'll figure it out, you'll get it going on, you'll improve, but move. Like the world needs action takers right now. It desperately needs it. We have a lot of side line, you know, conversationless, a lot of side line, you know, judgment. We have a lot of people not in the arena, and we need more people in the arena in play. We can't keep pointing and blaming and saying, this is wrong, that sucks and everything, but we're not moving our feet forward and demanding change, creating change, fighting for the change that we want. Because we think, well, I don't have the perfect plan. So, not anything

to fight for. Oh, no, you have values. You have passion. You have interests. Fight for those. You have a project you believe in at work, talk about it. Stop waiting for the perfect time to bring it up. There's not going to be perfect time. Bring it up. You believe in someone and you want to help lift them up. Do it now. Don't wait for the perfect time. It's like we've gotten too sedentary in not just in our physiology, but in our actual actions, a tweet is not an action. You gotta move, you gotta make things happen. And I think that's what high performers really inspired in me,

because if it sounds like, if it sounds at all, like I'm being preachy, I'm literally just sharing what I learned from these high performers, because the truth is, they were more bold than me. Doing the research, I was like, oh, okay, I got up. They were more clear than me. They were more clear than me. They were more energizes than me. They were more productive. Everyone thinks, well, Brandon's got it all figured

out. No, I'm a student and I'm just reporting what I heard from the field y'all. And I want you to take some of this stuff in. They had habits that allowed them to succeed beyond normal people. But here's what's beautiful about high performance and this is really important. Their success, but in the way we measured high performance, high performance means you succeed beyond standard norms over the long term while maintaining well-being and positive relationships. That's the hardest part.

That's the hardest part. That's what I love your podcast because so much of what you come back to is relationships. That's the hardest part. That's the hardest part. That's why I love your podcast because so much of what you come back to is relationships. But high performers don't burn out relationships. They don't take people for granted. In fact, you know, it's like Booker T. Washington taught us that, you know, there's two ways to exert strength. One is pushing down. The other is pulling up.

And high performers, they're the pulling up kind. That's why high performers also don't report being lonely at the top. One of my mentors, Brian Tracy, said, if you're lonely at the top, you did it wrong. But high performers, because you're lifting people up, it's almost like you have a chorus of people, right? You got a tribe, you lifted people up along, you were generous with people as you rose.

And that's what our research what became so famous about high form of habits was we could measure, prove long term success and say, wait, you can have long term success and maintain your health and your relationships. That's possible because most people think you have to compromise. You've got to become a jerk or you can't work out. Yeah. That's not true. You can't be married or you can't have a long term relationship. We can't have kids or we tell ourselves of these stupid stories or you have to come up from a certain thing. The other thing that was really pioneering the goddess and a lot of academics and corporate

is we've measurably showed high performance is not strongly correlated with age, gender, nationality, personality, competency, years on the job, or compensation. And every time someone wants to argue with me, I just go to basic, common sense. I'm like, okay, they're like, well, of course, rich people are highly compensated people work harder. I'm like, oh no, have you ever worked for lazy, but boss, they were getting paid more, but they were lazy. Like, payment doesn't mean high performance.

No, 100%. Either more it does age. You know, we got, like, we got old people out performing young people and young people out performing old people. Where you're from, there's high performers in every given culture. And it's not because they're personality because you have introverts and extroverts. People who are open, people who are neurotic, people who have no anxiety, people who have tons of anxiety. But it's the habits that they are following the road about in high performance habits that is That's what it was because we measured a hundred different performance variables and it came down to these six high-forms habits and

And I loved it too because I was wrong. Yeah, I'm about if you ask me what I thought I was gonna ask you Oh my god, literally just about to ask you what was one that surprised you I was literally just about to ask you, I just got it. Oh my God. Literally just about to ask you. Oh you were? What was one that surprised you? I was literally just about to ask you that. That's crazy. One of them that didn't make, or like something that, yeah, tell me about the surprise. Something, because me personally,

I identify as an author, speaker, coach, creator, online trainer, thought leader, hopefully social media guy, whatever. Creator, creativity was not in the top six. Was it? No. And it floored me because that's me. But I interviewed this guy.

He was a chief technology officer for, you know, a fortune, probably 10, fortune, 10 company. He's got tens of thousands employees. And he said, well, Brendan, I'm not particularly creative. I don't think my team is particularly creative, but we are incredibly intentional and disciplined. And we are incredibly collaborative. And those things, which for him was his style of productivity, made him a high performer, even though they really weren't that creative. But so for those who don't

feel like, that's really important, because in this modern social media world for those who don't feel like that's really important because in this modern social meat world, if you don't identify as a creative person, which a lot of people do not, they don't feel like they have that gift even though they do, that's okay. And what's interesting about the research, it doesn't say creativity is not important. It says that these six habits and high-forms habits are more important because in research you do correlations. And so it's like clarity, energy, necessity, productivity, influence, and courage are all just more important in this particular research

than some of these other things. And these are all things anyone can have. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm hearing those. I'm going, there's no excuses. Basically I'm going there is there's no excuses basically your research tells us there's no excuses for the dorks who are listening like me the geeks and the data hounds. The way that you do that is we all the hundred performance variables that we codified and

we also took from academic research and my own experience in training people for a decade was we put it through a filter. Are these habits something that are observable, learnable, malleable, which means you can change it, improve it, and can happen across domains. I mean, the CEO can do it, but so can the person at the front desk, so can the mom at home, so can the student, so can the athlete, meaning these hat, that's how he had identified them. Otherwise what they were were that person's personality or it was, you know, that person had a natural strength or skill there. But also for those who are interesting and you're so worried about your strengths because

a lot of people listening like me maybe, when the whole strengths movement started, I was like, I'm screwed, I ain't gotten any. You know? The good news is, high performers don't report working on their strengths any more than underperformers or anybody else. Because high performers less often ask, what am I good at? What are my unique strengths? Then they tend to ask, what is needed here? And how can I be of service? So for example, if I had said,

is my strength video? I would have never done video. Instead I said, how do I be of service to more people? I'm gonna have to reach more people, I'm gonna have to use video. Same. Right? So people don't get trapped in thinking

if you don't have a strength right now that A, you can't develop it. And B, that that's necessary. We need less people kind of gazing at their navels and being like, what am I like? And I love the self-awareness and the deep introspection. But we also need people who just show up and provide service, even if they're not comfortable with that, even if they're not comfortable with that, even if they're not good at that. Like most of the things that we do, we weren't good at, but we said, oh, that would help me be of more service.

Let me do it. Let me figure it out. There's a difference between inexperience and weakness. Yeah. There's a difference, right? Totally. Totally. Yeah.

You've not really explored something. It's just inexperience. That's right. Right. If you never started a podcast, like I didn't know the interview before I did by first ever podcast, like you just don't know, right? You don't, you know, practice interviews at home or your parents never interviewed you,

and you do your first interview, and you're like, oh, okay, I like that, I learn that. I got that wrong. We maybe should have put the mic closer to him and maybe the camera is in the wrong angle, and then you change it, right? And I think you're spot on that. It, don't, yeah, do I think you're spot on that.

It, don't, yeah, do not accept inexperience for weakness. Do not, do not just sit there and go, I don't have that as a natural gift. Yes. And this is one of the reasons why I'm going into soccer analogy here, sorry, but it was why I admire so many, I play a name, Cristiano Ronaldo, right, soccer player, because he's worked on things.

And often people say to him, oh, it's not God-given for him or it's not a gift he was given. But it's like, for me, that's what makes it more incredible. Right. That he's worked on every single part of his game to become this complete player. That's it. And to demonstrate that the work ethic and the, not just the work ethic, but the seeking

clarity and that. Tell me about the energy piece. I'm fascinated by that. Because I feel like I want to hear the definition of energy that you explored. And also just how people were able to bring energy even when they didn't feel like it too. Because that seems like a big thing for a high performance. What you do is bring it when they don't feel like it.

So glad I did this because energy to me is just like a feeling or a sense. But in the research, we had to codify three separate kinds of energy. One is mental energy, which is straight up your mental focus and stamina to do activities, right, without just like tuning off, right? Because that's hard. I mean, I'm sure some people have started writing a paper and you have to page one and a half and your brain went somewhere else. So, you were just tired. The other one is emotional energy, which is the quality of positive versus negative emotion. And the last one was a spiritual energy, a sensation that they were in flow or not. And what we found out is high performers have incredibly intentional habits to protect that energy. You know, when we were on tour with her Oprah,

she, Oprah was on tour, she tells this great story about how she was so moved by someone who's on her show, who went into a green room and was telling Oprah the story of she saw this sign that said, please be responsible for the energy you bring into this space. And I'm always like, please be responsible for the energy you bring into this space. And I'm always like, please be responsible for the energy you project into the world. Hyperformers are so critically aware of what their energy is, their feeling and how they're treating other people.

It's profound. And the way that they do that is they have a lot of habits that protect their well-being. So they're truly seeking to optimize health. They care about nutrition. The world's largest study on productivity that's ever been done found out that on average, the world's most productive one percent of people take a break every 52 minutes. Every 52 minutes they take a break. Now if you ask them, did you need the break, they're like, no, they could power through all day. They have the mental energy and Samueda, they could go,

but they take the break like a pit stop, like a NASCAR, right? The cars actually don't need to stop right then. They stop to change things out and optimize things so they can keep going faster. We have to do that in our own lives. So some of them, that's meditation. One, this incredibly important for everybody here,

especially in the United States. Right now in the United States of America, 72% of Americans are overweight or obese. And that has incredible health repercussions. That is your sicker longer, you die earlier, you report less happiness throughout the majority of your life, you pass some of that behavior onto children, like it's a very big deal.

And it's not a judgment of a body-shaming thing. It is a, your quality of life in every measurable way that they have in science shows, it's not as good. And we want you to feel okay. Well, high performers, they work out five times for a week, 40% more likely than an underperformer. Now, that workout might be literally like you take a 45 minute walk after dinner. It doesn't mean you're climbing around the mountain.

It doesn't mean you have to have a sick back or anything. You move every day. And so, they're protecting that. You know, I think that so they're protecting that. You know, I think that's what's really important. They have active lifestyles, not because it's easy, because they know the alternative of burnout and fatigue will hurt their performance.

Yes, exactly. Every new NBA guy I've ever worked with, they want a party, they want to rip it up, they just got that check. They're a superstar now. They're on the phone with me, Brandon, and I'm like, don't. You got a game in three days, dude. This isn't easy thing. If you care about how you show up in three days, and that's why I always tell people, how you feel right now is going to ripple into three days. Like, we know that from research. Like your nutrition today actually affects

three days of behavior. That's profound. We don't get that. And then when you measure it out over long-gevity studies, no, it affects your whole lifespan. So it's wildly important. And the most research that you're more even more familiar than that research

and I am is the absolute importance of having a mental game in which you meditate, pray, nap or just close your eyes for a few minutes every day to recenter a little bit, a lot of fatigue and headaches are actually visual. And so, what I tell people to do and what we teach in our seminars, high performance academy, is I teach the audience all these things to do it the 52 minute mark. One of them, stand up from your desk or stand up no matter where you're at every 52 minutes,

even if you're driving, pull over every 52 minutes. And what I tell people, stand in place, bounce in place, not jumping on the down just kind of bouncing lightly from the knees. Close your eyes because visual fatigue is a real thing. They've shown visual fatigue also hurts creativity. So close your eyes, bounce and take 10 deep breaths in through the nose. This is one, out the mouth, 10 times. While bouncing in place, the bounce is moving the lymph around your body, circulating the blood, refreshing your brain. Most brain fatigue is also tied to blood flow.

So we just got to move, dancing in place. Breath is tied to all Qi, all energy, all life force. Closing the eyes lets the brain literally reset. It's profound. That's why meditators don't do it their eyes open. Like, you... It's like, there's a whole other level that happens. And, I mean, you're way more familiar with the research. No, no, no, it's beautiful. It is... What I'm telling people is it is necessary.

Yes. If meditation is your thing, pray. Pray, and your thing, close your eyes. Close your eyes, ain't thing? Take the afternoon nap. Yeah. Because why in the blue zones, they tend to take a nap after lunch. They live longer.

That is a reset. And what I'm here to tell people is high performers reset every hour. It's crazy, every hour. So I had to learn every hour. Two things happen. My butt outside of this, meaning right here.

If my butt hits a chair, my timer on my iPhone hits 50 minutes. I start 50 minutes. It doesn't matter if I'm the middle of the most beautiful sentence of my life. Let's do it right. It was being, I stand up. I bounce, I take a big swig water, bounce in place, take 10 deep breaths, I go refill the water, come back, and I call it for me, it's like I release the tension, I close my

eyes, I'm just trying to me meditation for me, the it's like, I release the tension. I close my eyes, I'm just trying to, to me, meditation for me, the benefits I receive, it release the tension in my mind, and release the tension in my body. And then when I sit back down, I go, what's my intention, and what is the absolute best use of my time by the end of the day? Reset, go back to work.

I do that every hour. It's why I'm so annoyingly productive. I love that. We should do it right now. You want to do it? You need some water. So, first, we'll just start with the reset, which we're, this is what I mean by bouncing. We're just going to do this. We're going to swear our arms forward and back. Close our eyes, Yes, go. Notice his breath is getting longer because that's what happens. One more. Okay, now just shake it out. That's just the breathing.

I love it. Already you're coming back. That's great. Now we're going to do it you're gone. Okay. Okay. Which is. Okay. Okay. Okay. shake it out.

That's just the breathing. I love it. All right, you're coming back. All right, now we're going to do Jigong, which is a cupping activity. They call it a cupping for casual. And all we're going to do is we're going to activate the meridians of our body. For those who don't believe in meridians of your body, all science shows that there's nerve endings on your skin, right?

So if you don't believe in, oh, this is Chi, then you believe in nerves. And we're just gonna open up our body. It's like, yeah, if you tap your arm, you feel that energy, 100%, right? We're gonna do the whole body. Amazing. Okay, so Chigong.

So we're gonna start with our fingertips. So cupping means you take positive intent and energy. A lot of the masters that will teach, like put a color, like blue or green or a vibrant color for you here and we're gonna cup what means we're gonna lightly tap and we're gonna go from here all the way up okay and then we're gonna do we're new here and we're new here we'll do here we'll do here and then we're just gonna do one right here which is huge meridian in the back right here. Yeah so we meridian back right here. Okay, everyone's gonna know that. Yep, so we're just gonna start here. Like this.

And the attention is taking, I see what that is. Nice see what that is. This is where everyone outside of your studio is going, what are they doing? Like what? Richard shows up. What's happening?

So I do this. I do this every 50 minutes in a plane. I love it. You release your shoulder, release all the tension in your shoulder, really strong. Okay, now from your waist, we're gonna move up. You're just moving up one inch in a plane, you release your shoulder, release all the tension in your shoulder, and really strong. Now from your waist, you're just moving up one inch at a time, take a nice heatwirt then, right when you get below, your armpit, next hand, going up, and just breathing. Just putting energy, positivity, joy into your arms.

Most people have really strong, to drop your shoulder. Most people carry so much tension, their shoulders is releases the tension, their shoulder right here. Now we're gonna bend slightly at the waist and right on your lower back and you're gonna take five breaths here. Stand, close your eyes, bounce, five more breaths. Oh, great. And now just release. I feel great. That was awesome. And you're alive.

That's amazing. We can show in brain scans that it decreases blood flow. You decrease blood flow. You decrease oxygenation, which your body and your brain needs for activity, like you're mitochondria, everything in your body, counts on, do we get some blood flow? Or are we, and so what people don't know is their brain is off half the day.

And they think they're tired, and breath is the way back in. This activation, which people are like, think is so weird, it's like, oh no, just like if you're watching this and you didn't try it or you're listening, like literally just pat your forearm five times and you're like, you're like, and then notice the energy, you're like, oh, the energy just changed right there. Like it really changed. Well, when you do that, your whole body, Jigong actually goes, ankle up, ankle around here in the whole body, and then they'll also often put tapping in.

Yes, yes, yes. And all of a sudden, you're like, not easy. Now I'm gonna bang out like 10 chapters in my book. Now I'm gonna finish the presentation. Now I feel good to call my coaching client. Yeah. Because sometimes I'll, you know, I'm extremely lucky

to coach some of the top performers in the world in athletics and business, right before I came over here, I had the blessing of a coaching a the top performers in the world in athletics and business, right before I came over here, I had a blessing of a coaching a billionaire literally on the way over this meeting this morning. And what I have found is if you want to be a high performer, you got to learn to turn yourself on, right? Don't take that weird. But no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. How do you turn your brain on? How do you turn your spirit on? How do you turn your heart on? Like, you've had that too, or you're also, you got to sit down, you had a, no. How do you turn your brain on? How do you turn your spirit on? How do you turn your heart on? Like you've had that too, or you're also and you got to sit down, you had a long day.

We both had long days before we did this. If you can't turn your heart, your mind, your spirit, your body on, there is no chance for you to sustain long-term performance. 100%. I love that. That was cool. That was awesome.

No, the reason why I love it so much is because what you just said about turning yourself on, it's like when you're living for, so for me it was, when I spent much time as a monk, I felt so much on the mind and we really pushed our bodies to extreme lens. And then when I came back and I was having to live in this body, I was like, I want to serve. And that's why I want to take care of my body and mind. Right? Like that became the intention. I was like, I'm going to have incredible habits for what I eat and how much I work out and what I do with my body

because I want to serve for the rest of my life. There it is. I don't want to die early because I was neglectful. I don't want to die early because I was neglectful and not caring and complacent because I felt I was still 22 when you still feel all of this mastery. You can have the feeling in the beard. Yeah.

And so the soul is motivated by service. Like the soul gets energy from service, but the body needs activity like this movement to feel energized, right? Every measurable outcome in your life improves with more quality of exercise. And I always tell people, even at a spiritual level, I ask people, would you go to the house

next door and spray paint it and break all the windows and throw a bunch of garbage in it? And yet, you're so willing to vandalize the temple that God has given to house your soul. That's your house. So if you wouldn't go vandalize your neighbor's house, why are you vandalizing your house? Your gift. It's very important, you know, garbage in, garbage out. Pay attention. And I'm not here to say everyone has to, you know, eat perfectly and work out a million percent. I'm here to share the research that is unequivocable. Yeah. Mental health and exercise and protecting both of those.

Diet, nutrition, meditation, all of these things sleep, all of these impact, how good of a job you do tomorrow? How long you live? You know, how good you feel, and I'm like, everyone wants to be happy. So that's what I was happy about. I was so happy that made it into the research that like generate energy, that's the chapter. happy about. I was so happy that made it into the research that

like generate energy. That's the chapter. Generating energy. How do high performers generate energy and sustain it. And all these things we talk about in our industry came up in the research and was like, yes, I'm so happy about that. Yeah, it's amazing. I love it. This, or the, and again, it's accessible to anyone. We didn't We didn't pay for gym membership just now. We didn't have to have fancy clothes on for the gym membership. I feel great. I'm really, really, really, really, really,

literally, we fired up. I feel like I, and I'm not saying there's just for the cameras, like I mean this, I actually feel how I felt when we first started. Right, it's got that, you know, it's, yeah, it's great. And so 100% works. I love recharge. Yeah, 100%.

Every 15 minutes, and he's been with, Travis's great. And so 100% works. I love recharge. Yeah, 100%. Every 15 minutes. And he's been with Travis Been backstage with me for 10 years, or he's been setting up video in the other room, and he hears that like, I always do it. And it's like, because when you watch the volume of online video I've done, whether it's YouTube or our online courses where most of my video is, it's like so, I mean, it's,

literally, I don't even know how many hundreds of hours are there. And he's never seen me in the middle of it. He's like, you know, because of these practices. And it wasn't natural to me. Because I listen, Netflix and chill, let's go brother. I can chill like the best of them, I got no problem. But I wanna make an impact. I wanna help people. You know what the worst thing is when you're trying to help someone and your mind is kind of blinking out because you didn't take care of yourself,

you didn't eat good, you didn't care about your sleep. You know, I work with athletes, high performers, business people who, they regret those moments in those days where they allowed themselves to burn out or they didn't care for themselves because it shows up on the scoreboard. It shows up in your bank account and mostly it shows up in how you treat people. I always tell people, if you won't take care of yourself for yourself, take care of yourself so you're less rude to other people.

Because guess what, when you're tired, science shows you're more irritable. You're more short and you're faster to conflict. Right? 100%. And so it's like, if you want to take care of yourself for yourself, do it for the poor people around you who probably get some of that irritability. You know. I love it.

Brandon, you're amazing. This is so much fun. Honestly. Honestly, this has been so much fun. Yeah, this is great. And I'm glad you had us do that activity. I wanted to. Yeah, me too. I want people to feel better. Yeah, I feel better, but also I just I want everyone listening and watching to know that, you know, you can pick up such simple, beautiful tips and insights just by watching. Now you can play that part of the video over again and again and again. We'll turn it into a little Instagram video

if there's a lovey-fuck. But it's just such an easy thing that anyone can pick up and literally refocus, get back in the zone. And like you said, it's like when you want to serve, you want to be at your best. You don't want to be at your worst and you're trying to push yourself.

And I genuinely hear this from so many people who I know are genuinely trying to give their best and serve. But they feel drained at the end of the day. Yes. Because they're just giving an outpouring and serving and loving and caring and supporting and they're just going for it. And at the end of their day, and I've been in that place before, you just feel drained. Yes. And I started to realize I didn't want to feel that way anymore because that wasn't the badge of honor of service. No. That wasn't the badge of honor that I've really given today.

And if you believe in associations, if you drain yourself every day in service, which a lot of people do, at the end of the day you're burned out and you're tired, at some point your body and your brain, your spirit and your soul, you don't mean to, starts associating your purpose with that feeling. Wow. Wow. And one day you go, maybe your psychology goes, maybe the purpose is wrong. And it forgets, no, it's the behavior that's leading to a feeling that doesn't feel good,

but your brain doesn't know sometimes and it puts them together. And now you question your purpose when really you're tired. And so let's do that. Yes, and now you do the math, okay? Because we've all done that. Everyone listening has done that brunt force, because the human body is unbelievable. We can go years of burnout.

It's unbelievable. Other animals would not put up with this nonsense, but we convince ourselves that it's okay. No other animal does that. We're just, I mean, I mean, we'll salmon. They swim to they die. Okay, I'm sorry, some animals do.

But humans were super unique that we psych ourselves into this, but here is the issue. A, you will probably burn out your service because you won't feel good about it. But think about high performers. They go so much longer providing great service, but here's the trick, if you do the math on what I talked about. Break every hour, take an eight hour workday.

High performers, they're not smarter than you. They're not better than you. They aren't more lucky than you. It's not their age, their nationality, but one of the things they did during an eight hour workday, they took eight more breaks than you. It's not their age, their nationality, but one of the things they did during an eight-hour workday, they took eight more breaks than you did. They took eight more breaks than you did today. That's why tomorrow they show up more clear. That's why next week, when you're in the meeting and it's time to brainstorm and you're fried, you come up with nothing. It's that gallop on the white board who wrote down 20 ideas because she's still fresh. That's not because her nothing, it's that gallop on the whiteboard who wrote down 20 ideas because she's

still fresh. That's not because her disposition, she's probably a high performer who took more breaks than you. We think breaking and pausing and refreshing is failure. It's the own, I love that sharpener. I've never used that. I love that sharpening. It is sharpening. It is the NASCAR at the pit stop to make it go faster, to make it win the race. And so it's so funny when you say high-performance, everyone goes, well, they must, they just outwork, out hustle, out work. Actually, I'm like, oh no. They actually see harmony more than everybody else. They look for that. They're trying to optimize their time, their harmony, to manage their energy so they can perform longer.

I want to do this until I'm dead. Yeah, me too. I'm one of those guys. I found my purpose. I want to help people live, love and matter. To get there, they got to achieve their goals faster, they got to use their voice, they got to help other people,

they got to live an authentic vibrant life. And that's what I want to help people do. I'll do that until I'm done. I'll do the term to, so I got to manage myself. You know, I do those four day seminars by myself on stage for 10 hours, and I was like, how? They just think, well, Brindens, they're energize their money.

If you saw me backstage, I'm doing that Chagong. I'm protein-shaking it. You know, I'm stretching it out every night. I'm doing the ice baths. I'm changing my behavior from heavy lifting to more cardio to get the lung capacity two weeks in advance. I'm diligent about exactly what I eat at the four-day events. I sleep at the same schedule. Like, everything is literally set up for me to perform 10 hours a day on stage

for four days by myself. That's not luck. That is because I care. I love it. Brendan, we end every interview with the final five quick, five rapid fire around. So this is five questions, one word answers, maximum one sentence, maximum one sentence. Okay, so the first question is, what was the last kind thing you did for a stranger? One word. Oh gosh. Oh, one said no, we just came to my mind because dear friend had somebody a big loss in their life. And I just sent them a voice text and said, if you need me on a plane, if you need an hour or two to have a conversation, you're the type of person who's always the giver and always striving.

And caretakers very rarely asked for care. So I'm here. I love it. Okay, question number two. Oh, I'm sorry. The answer was sent to voice text, but I sent it one seven days in a row. Okay. Same one. Different one. You voice text for seven days in a row. Okay. Same one. Different one. New voice text for seven days in a row. A lot of people say, I'm here for you. I was like, I hound them. Yeah. I love that.

Okay, question number two. What's the lesson you find hard to teach others? Patience. Yeah. Nice. Okay, question number three. What's the one question you ask yourself the most? You've told us a bit about this.

Outside of, did I live? Did I love that matter? I ask, what level of presence and energy am I holding and creating right now? It's a, we call it line trigger. And I perform like any time I wait in line, like Starbucks or I'm reading line, I was, what level of presence and energy am I right now? It makes me queuing. I love that. Okay, question number four, the one belief that took you the longest to really put into practice. The one belief that took you the longest

to put into practice. Trust some others. Hmm, wow, powerful. We'll have to unpack that next time. Yeah. Question final five, your fifth one is, and I kind of know the answer to this, but I'm gonna ask you anyway,

because you can change it up is, how do you know if you've lived a good life? The answer is to, did I live that I loved it? I matter. No, I love that. But most importantly, did I earn this? Did I earn that second chance? That's everyone.

I love it. Brendan, for sure, everyone. You're the man, you're amazing, Brendan. This is amazing. You're awesome. Thank you, brother. You were so incredible. I're amazing, man. This is amazing. You're awesome. Thank you, brother. You're so incredible. I can't wait to have you back on.

I can't wait. Yeah, you got to come back and do a part two and a part three. And yeah, if the audience asks, I'm here. We need to do this again. I would love to, man. This is so fun. We have so much unpacking, we have so much in common. Oh, I'm in so much more.

So much love. Your purpose and your mission and how you are learning and adjusting and giving and serving. And I wish I wish and when listening I wish you knew how hard this guy works for you. Thank you. It's just the beginning. That's how I feel every day. It's just the beginning. Stop from scratch again. I still feel the same.

Every single day. Just getting warmed up. Absolutely. you The one you feed explores how to build a fulfilling life admits the challenges we face. We share manageable steps to living with more joy and less fear through guidance on emotional resilience, transformational habits, and personal growth. I'm your host, Eric Zimmer, and I speak with experts ranging from psychologists to spiritual teachers, offering powerful lessons to apply daily. Create the life you want now. Listen to the one you feed on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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