On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Craig Kielburger: ON How Ordinary Individuals Doing Their Part Changes The World & What You Can Do Now

Episode Date: November 29, 2019

On this episode of On Purpose, I sat down with Craig Kielburger. Craig is an internationally-acclaimed speaker, social entrepreneur, and co-founder or WE Charity, which inspires people to empower themselves to make a significant positive impact on the world. Craig reminds us that the greatest thing we can do for ourselves is help someone else. He shares that serving doesn't just make others feel good, its physical and mental benefits can help lengthen your lifespan. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The One You Feed explores how to build a fulfilling life admits the challenges we face. We share manageable steps to living with more joy and less fear through guidance on emotional resilience, transformational habits, and personal growth. I'm your host, Eric Zimmer, and I speak with experts ranging from psychologists to spiritual teachers offering powerful lessons to apply daily. Create the life you want now. Listen to the one you feed on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The world of chocolate has been turned upside down.

A very unusual situation. You saw this taxicash in our office. Chocolate comes from the cacountry, and recently, Variety's cacao, thought to have been lost centuries ago, were rediscovered in the Amazon. There is no chocolate on Earth like this. Now some chocolate makers are racing deep into the jungle to find the next game-changing chocolate, and I'm coming along.

OK, that was a very large crack it up. Listen to obsessions while chocolate on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. The therapy for Black Girls podcast is your space to explore mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, and I can't wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday.

Listen to the therapy for Black Girls podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Take good care. In a Jeep, there are 20 of us, and we all fit, and we held on to the sides, and we were bumping down these roads in rural India, and it was this crazy journey, and everyone was silent the whole time. Until this one kid started to say the words, we are free.

And the other kids were to say, we are free and they started to laugh. And they started to sing the words and they would clap for hours. And it was just a not moment, it was why we do what we do. Hey everyone, welcome back to on purpose. My name is Jay Shetty and I'm so, so grateful that you're back here. And grateful is the right word. It's the week of gratitude. If you're in the US, you're celebrating Thanksgiving or friends giving. If you're all around the

world, it's just a great excuse to get together with people that you love, people that you want to connect more deeply with, share an incredible meaningful meal and conversation, where you can go deeper in your relationships. And this week's episode is something a little bit special that I wanted to share with you. There has been a charity, a movement, a community that I've been wanting to get involved with for a very, a community that I've been wanting to get involved with for a very, very long time. I know some of my friends have been involved. They've had incredible experiences.

And this is something that I've been thinking about for a long, long time. So I'm really, really happy to share this episode with you. Recently I got to travel to Vancouver and be a part of We Day. Now We Day, if you've never heard of it, is where 20,000 kids are rewarded for their service that they do throughout the year with a one time event. And this event is where celebrities, musicians, influencers, speakers are on the stage

to share empowering messages. And actually, when I went out there to actually share my message with this audience, I was the one who left inspired because each and every one of these kids has worked tirelessly throughout the year to serve to make a difference in the life of others. And the we days, part of the we movement or the we charity. And just listen to this for a second. They have 1500 schools and school rooms built around the world, providing a quality education to kids who don't have access to it, 30,000 women plus around the world

have been empowered with financial independence and 200,000 children have access to education due to the incredible work of we. Now, I got to sit down with Craig Kilberger, who is the CEO and founder of we, and, I got to sit down with Craig Kilberger, who is the CEO and founder of we. And you're going to hear our interview just before we both went on to stage. And so, I can't wait to hear this week where in the week of gratitude, it's Thanksgiving, it's friends giving. And even if you're not celebrating, isn't it always the right time for us to stop,

take a moment to be really grateful for what we have, grateful for the opportunity to serve and grateful to add perspective to the incredible life we have. So I just want to say thank you. I'm grateful to each and every one of you for the community we're building here and I'm excited to introduce you to We Charity through Craig Kilberger. I can't wait for you to hear this episode. Hey everyone, welcome back to on purpose. The number one health podcast in the world, thanks to each and every single one of you that come back every week to listen, to learn and to grow. And you know that I love sharing this platform with incredible change makers in the world,

who are doing unbelievable things. And I love sharing their story with you because I want us to realize that no matter who you are, where you're from, you can have an impact, you matter, and you can change the world. So today's guest is none other than Craig Kilberg. And now today we are actually recording from We Day Vancouver. For those of you that don't know We Day, it's a series of huge empowerment events organized by the We Charity. Today we're celebrating 20,000 kids who have had an impact on local and global issues.

He's an internationally acclaimed speaker, social entrepreneur, and New York Times best-selling author who inspires people to empower themselves to make a significant impact on the world. Now listen to this, this is insane. At a young age, Craig realized that an individual, even a 12-year-old, has the power to change the world. He and his brother Mark committed themselves to the effort to stop child labor, organizing a project called Free the Children. The initiative grew into a lifelong commitment to affecting positive change around the world

and eventually led to the Wii movement. He's received 15 honorary degrees and doctorates for his effort to promote education and human rights. He's also been awarded the Nelson Mandela Freedom Medal, the Order of Canada, the World's Children Prize, and his name's Canada's most admired public sector CEO in 2015. Craig, it's an honor to have you here, honestly. Right, it's very kind of you to say that. Well, thank you for being with us. And the part that you left there is you're going to vote to get up on stage with us and inspire all these kids.

I'm going to try it. In person, the message that they get to hear through the podcast. I'm so excited. I was here earlier. I was here yesterday when we were actually rehearsing. I mean, the stays that you put on, I bumped into some of the kids outside and they're energy and just I've been such a fan and follower of we for such a long time. Thank you.

So not only is it a huge honor that on my first we day, it's it's my first we day. I guess that's love that you're here. But to be with you on my first we day is the biggest honor. But honestly, very gracious. The feeling is more than mutual as I listen to the podcast as everyone does right now. Who's listening also. So thank you. Thank you.

Thank you so much. I want to get straight into it. Please. I know we both literally have to go and stay. Absolutely. Absolutely. But I want to get straight into it. Please. I know we both literally have to go and stay. Absolutely. I'll leave you. But I want to go straight into it. What I want to start off with is, where does a 12-year-old hear about child labor? Where does a 12-year-old even learn about that sort of an issue and feel that they can do something about it?

Yeah, to be very honest, it's not as dramatic as you might have said in that, because I was actually looking for the comics in the paper. And I was reaching for that in the front page. There was the story about this child slave. His name was Ickball who's killed when he was 12 years old in Pakistan. He had been sold when he was four. He spoke out and was killed. And that story made me so angry. I tore it out from the newspaper. I shoved my backpack and I brought it to class and I asked my friends, would you join me? And I'll never forget, it was 11 hands, went up, so plus me 12 of us, we were all 12 years

old at the time. So we called ourselves the group of 12-12-year-olds. Oh, wow. But like, oceans 12. I mean, yes. You're way into the world. Yeah. But it really wasn't that dramatic of a beginning.

Like we weren't searching for a cause. I wasn't one of those kids who was trying to change the world. I was looking for the comics, but I also believe that's important when I share that story with kids today because I think that we live our lives so often expecting some dramatic moment, like a booming voice in the road to Damascus

or the moment we get shoved in the direction of a bus and say, no, you know, the truth is, every day we have these small things like a newspaper story or a friend who needs help, and it's around our daily path. It's whether we choose to act or not, in my case, I was so young, kind of naive, to be honest, that I said, well, of course I can help.

And I think we need more of that youthful naivety, and that's what we try to nurture with kids today and tap into. Yeah, I think it's so important that we think like kids again. Yes, a basic sense of right and wrong and just and unjust that young people have. I think we lose that as we become adults. And we never need, we have to hold that wonder and that are that sense of right and wrong

as being a kid. I love that. Yeah, that childlike curiosity to look at things with fresh eyes. Yes. To look at something as if you're looking for the first time again. Yes.

Because I think so often as we grow up, we just keep seeing things and we get immune to it and we get numb to it. Well, and for anyone who, so I'm a parent now, and I'm not yet, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But in the planning, anyone who's a parent, you see like your son and your daughter or you know, answer uncles, et cetera, who are out there,

they stop when they see a homeless person. We've become so used to that in our society. That's something that I just think is so powerful, this idea of how do we nurture again that basic sense of right and wrong and that empathy and compassion? You know if we could tap back into that I think we'd solve some of the critical issues facing a world. I'm I'm totally with you Tell me about how it felt when you helped the first person you have a help Yes, tell me about that. Sure. So how the first the story started. I was 12. Yeah, I read that story

We got my class involved and Started exchanging letters with this human rights activist in India at the time because I knew nothing about child labor And this was 1995 so we like there was you couldn't just pop on Google So I went to a library found this address is started writing letters to this man He said if you really want to understand what's going on And you've got to come to Asia and see it with your own eyes So I sit down with my mom and my dad in you really want to understand what's going on. And you've got to come to Asia and see it with your own eyes. So I sit down with my mom and my dad in September, a four months later, and say,

mom, dad, I got a plan. I'm going to go to Asia. I want to research child labor. Like, I'm a kid from the suburbs. I, you know, this is my parents looking at me. They're like, you can't, you know, I take the subway by yourself. You can't go to Asia.

And I kept pleading, kept begging. I felt like a chaperone who would take me as a family friend. And we set off on this incredible journey. And I was 12 at the time, had a 13th birthday on it. And this activist hosted us. His name was Kalish Satyartee. Yeah. Yeah. So you know, Kalish. I just did a fundraiser for him on YouTube last year. There you go. So exactly. So little known at the time, we got 25 years ago. Of course, no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Absolutely. And so we were, you know, with Kalish going on rescues and freeing child slaves.

We spent time with mother Teresa. You know, she was there when we walked into the mother house and sitting down with her and found the family of this young child slave in Pakistan. And there was this trade delegation that was happening. Total fluke, I'm Canadian, and the Prime Minister of Canada, at the time, was traveling, signing trade deals. We're not talking about human rights. And so the local paper in India printed his hotel.

And so I showed up at the hotel. And I said, I'm Canadian. I like to meet the Canadian. They said, Buzz off kid. And so I wrote him this letter. And I got it photocopied at Kinkos, basically, and started to slide it under every door in the hotel, figuring I'd get him eventually. And security stopped me. I'm'd love to do that, apparently.

And as said, you should hold a press conference. And with these two free child slaves, held a press conference at the hotel, when the Prime Minister was saying, had really no idea what I was doing. Like, BBC was there and CNN was there. And I had no idea. I kept traveling two, three days later. I go home, I call home, still in Asia at this point. My mom asked the phone, she's like,

what the heck is going on? You're on the press and all this. And that was how we started from that time. Actually, my mother said, you know what, this makes me sound as a mother. I don't know where you are in Asia in your 13. I come to know they didn't go with you. It was a different age.

We didn't have cell phones. We didn't have email really that much. You were writing letters? Yeah, I was writing letters. My parents were schoolteachers. They had to phones. We didn't have email really that much. You were writing letters? Yeah, I was writing letters. My parents were schoolteachers. They had to work. They couldn't get the time off work. So this trip, it's completely changed my life.

And I got back home and the stories of these kids and started to share them in speeches. And the organization started to grow from their very grassroots and step by step by step. And now we work with about a million kids around the world and 1,500 schools and clean water and medical programs. and it's 25 years later. That is unbelievable.

The therapy for Black Girls podcast is the destination for all things mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. Here, we have the conversations that help black women dig a little deeper into the most impactful relationships in our lives, those with our parents, our partners, our children, our friends, and most importantly, ourselves. We chat about things like what to do when a friendship ends, how to know when it's time to break up with your therapist,

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Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I absolutely love that story, and I know that's like the quick version of it. Oh man, we had a lot of ups and downs and honestly a lot of failures along the way. And I almost feel badly telling it that quick, because they don't talk with the failures enough. We had so many failures that helped us

to understand what really sustainable development is. Like, we used to kick down the doors and free kids. We quickly realized that wasn't enough. Yes. We had to provide safety and clean water and medical and alternative income cooperatives. And now we call it We Villages, it's five pillars, and it supports the village on average five years.

And we target regions of extreme poverty with just been trafficking in this violence, but to prevent that from happening in the first place with kids. So it's a lot of learning over those years. I think a lot of people today find it very overwhelming when they think about supporting and service and help. Often we steer away from looking at articles or videos they find it very overwhelming when they think about supporting and service and help. Yes. Often we steer away from looking at articles or videos of this nature or we kind of try

and hide away or we get involved, but then we get overwhelmed very quickly. How did you decide what was important for you to focus on? Because I think that's partly the struggle that anyone listening or watching today may have is just, Craig, there's so much stuff going on in the world. Where do I start? What do I do? How did you decide? Absolutely.

Well, if I can answer your question in two ways. So we have a very unusual mission as a charity, and it's not to drill wells or to build schools. We do that, but our actual mission is to make doing good, doable, and some people are like, what the heck does that actually mean? Because when I was 12, and a pit of the phone is sort of calling other charities and said,

I'm a kid, I want to help. Can I come volunteer? Can I get a vol, can I go to school, vol, what can I do? And they said you could send money. I said, but I'm a kid. I'm about 100% money. Like what else can I do to help? And that realization that so much of how people think

about changing the world is very transactional and it's very limited. And so what we do today is try to answer the question. Our actual mission is to make doing a doable for especially young people out there, but not exclusively. So we now have 20,000 schools that run service-based learning. So we help students learn by doing through service. So I know this sounds totally different for what I just described, but I'll connect it all together. I promise. So in schools across America totally different for what I just describe, but I'll connect it all together, I promise. So in schools across America and Canada, students will learn their biology by testing

water in their community, or they'll learn their computer science by coding apps for nonprofits. So they learn by doing through service. They discover all these important causes in the world, local and global. They do tens of millions of hours of service with us. We actually have this really cool program in the US called AP with We Service, if you know AP Advanced Plays

and Courses. So you can actually get recognition on your college transcript now for the work that you do with us when you're applying to college, all these great programs. And we help students with mentorship and coaching and microgrants and support to get started so that they can set something up,

whether it's helping us globally or any cause. It actually doesn't matter to us. We help youth take action to help over 7,000 different causes every year. Because really, our belief system is, if we could have ordinary individuals each doing their one part of the puzzle, then we can actually unlock the impact

we only need to see in the world. But it is only when ordinary individuals all step up. There's a greater power in that than the Bill Gates is and the people of all the well- see in the world. But it is only when ordinary individuals all step up, there's a greater power in that than the Bill Gates' and the people of all the well-known to the world. We need to tap in the ordinary individuals on mass daily actions to better the world. So to answer your question, ask for help.

I asked for a lot of help when I was a kid. Oprah was really, really, really helpful when you're a kid, starting a charity. But my parents, my teachers, my mentors, and now we try to give that help to other young people out there who want to change the world. What I love, love, love about that is I think you're spot on. I think the biggest challenge is we don't know how to engage people,

and we don't know how to engage resources, especially the human resource or the human potential. Yes. And when you took what service-based learning, I mean, I'm like so happy here. It literally takes what you talk about by the way in your podcast, and tries to infuse this idea of living a life of purpose

right into education systems. 100%. Because why is it we suddenly have to attack it outside of schools and things like this? Why don't we learning what's the purpose of education? It is, we should learn Spanish by helping them do immigrant fellow government forms. We should learn, you know, when it comes to art class by raising awareness of mental health.

Like, this is what we're putting into schools from millions of young people, and they find their purpose at a very young age, plus they actually do better academically. Yeah. So, like, for a whole bunch of reasons, this is a good thing. Yeah, and it's more meaningful to them. Yes. Like, the personal satisfaction and contentment absolutely that you receive from doing service

and getting close to that feeling early on in life. You know, there's a lot of crises in the world and we deal with them. Like, globally, there's a lack of clean water access. You know, we know here in America, we're doing a whole push right now on youth mental health and curriculum schools. But there is a crisis of purpose.

And I know I'm preaching to converted on this one. No, but I want to, but there is a crisis of purpose that we live in a world today where people are searching and struggling, they're saying there's got to be something more. There's got to be more than a 95 job. And school in society does not help us realize that the greatest purpose, I believe it, I'm gonna lobby here on this one,

but Maslow's hierarchy of needs, that the pinnacle of it all is when our life is dedicated to something greater than ourselves. And why can't we help introduce people to that in the most formal way, which is school? So we learn all that we learn, all these skills, all this memorize, we can actually put a purpose to education to unlock our own potential

to better the world. 100%. I'm totally with you. Everything you're saying is making me so happy. But it's constantly smiling. This is the cool part. When we were kids, I don't know if it was the same for you. I always shoved into lockers.

It was so uncool. Yes. To want a changed world. That's why we created We Day. We filled stadiums with you through earn their way here, through their purpose, through service, because we wanted to make sure that they knew that they weren't alone.

In the same way that we want to put this into school. So the next 12 year old kid doesn't pick up the phone and go, I have no idea how to change the world. We want to support them through that journey. Tell me about the first We Day. Today we're going to go out there's 20,000 that's out there. There's a concert.

I mean, the visuals here are absolutely stunning. Thank you. Like, it's unbelievable. It's a beautiful stage. But there's 20,000 people. Tell me about the first ever We Day. So the first person? Well, they got to even go further back.

What inspired We Day? So we were in... Oh my gosh, where are we? We're in the Andy's mountains with the poor hay Indians, the indigenous people of that region. And we were building a school. One of the things we do is we bring, as you know, people on volunteer trips, things down this, et cetera,

people, but a lot of people walk through thousands of people do this with us. And they come overseas, we'll build, and we'll teach, and engage in community service. And a one particular build are supplies arrived late. We turn to the village chief. We said, we can't finish the school in time. Don't worry about more volunteers coming in.

She says, I'm going to call Aminga. What's Aminga? She takes a few steps outside of her home. She shouts this word in her language in Ketchwa. Aminga, super loudly. Everyone understands except us. Like the man dropped their tools, the women started gathering together, the kids all come running, then the kids go running to the neighboring villages and the neighboring

villages and the neighboring villages and there's no phones and all that just to hear, but they spread this through word of mouth and dozens and then a hundred and then hundreds of people pour out and they build the school together. I'm like this is so amazing. What is a Minginga? And the chief basically explained that in her language, this word is a sacred word. Anyone can invoke it. But when you hear the word, you have to stop whatever you're doing, and you have to help each other.

You come together for these collective good projects like building a school. And she was explaining this in her language and through the translator, and then she turns it says, what's the word in English? Like, there you go. It's not a great question and then she turns it says, what's the word in English? Like, it's not a great question. I know it's like, what's the word? Like, downtown New York that you would say

and like strangers would go, oh my God, I'm here to help you. You know, it's, it's like we were. So we caught back home and thought that is so amazing. We want to call them Mingha. And at the root of it, the fundamental idea is, it's, it's, how do you shift what you're doing From good for self to good for others. It's from me to we Mm-hmm

And so that's how we actually thought to translate this word. It's from me to we this idea of this Minga This we're all in this together this higher purpose. So we wanted to organize our first Day that embodied this it was in Toronto where we were from. We put a message out to students. We said, we're gonna fill this tiny arena. You have to prove to us that you did service and help to cause, and if you can prove it somehow, like bringing like sign sheets.

It was crazy the first year. We'll let you in, we'll have this giant event and we'll have inspirational speakers and we'll celebrate. No idea what was gonna happen. So many people, 8,000 people showed up inside, we ran out of seats, they filled the parking lot venue with thousands of people.

We're like, this is crazy, not well organized, and crazy, and there is something here. And when we started to ask people why they showed up, they said they didn't want to feel alone. Because they saw so much negativity in the world, they wanted to do it with others who were positive and creating good. And we said, oh my goodness.

And from that, we've now organized over 130 of these in cities around the world. We were just nodding ham last week. We've got, you know, from the Caribbean to Europe to US and LA and different cities and New York Chicago and Canada. And it's gathering these incredible, just groups of people who are it's free to come, we gotta prove the good you've done. And the people get up on stage and they share their causes

and it's like Ted meets Coachella but to change the world and a full day celebration. It's genius. Thank you, but it's absolutely genius. But it's only because of people like yourself, we get up there and inspire the kids. And the coolest part is I think this is the only event where the heroes are in the audience.

Like everyone gets up there and they're like, people at the bus, like the wall is like, I love you, and Terry's like, I want to be like you. And the audience is so much better. Yeah, they're the inspiration. They really are. They're the inspiration. And that's what I loved about the program,

that the fact that everyone turning up had done service to be here. And I thought that was such a special and unique thing, because usually at these events, you're standing up and you're trying to say, oh, we should serve more. Oh, yes. And here I'm gonna go up and be like,

oh, you're already doing that. Like, yes. And really what they're looking to you for is they're like, what's the next cause? How come, and everyone's got, they get on stage. And whether it be, like, you know, Muhammad Yunus, talking about microcredit, we got kids like, pin drop style.

Like, how do I make a difference on this? You know, or Richard Branson on social entrepreneurship, or like, you know, Megan and Harry talking about microcredit, we got kids like pin drop style. Like how do I make a difference on this? You know, or Richard Branson on social entrepreneurship or like, you know, Megan and Harry talking about mental health and connecting it together. It's, you know, or Gorbachev, I'll never forget it. As you stood up there and he said, literally we came within minutes of launching nuclear warheads. Like you don't understand, this world was almost not here.

Like, you know, you have these conversations and then the other cool part is it's match with young people and the local poet and change maker and it's like popcorn 30 seconds. What did you do? What did you do? And it gives other people ideas. And I think the greatest thing is that you're allowing kids into the conversation. Yes. Because I think for a lot of us, even when I was young, you always felt, oh, I had to be older to be a part of making a change. Yes. Or I'll be taken seriously when I get older.

Yes. That's an adult conversation. Like, you when I get older. Or that's an adult conversation. Like you can't get involved. And that's what I love the most is, we days letting kids into the conversation. Absolutely. So they're there thinking about this much earlier. Absolutely. Tell me a bit about you as you were saying

that your parents were teachers. Yes. And so that's why they couldn't get the holiday to come with you. Tell me about something that they learned. How much of your desire for changing the world and impact? What have your parents taught you? Oh my God, everything. Like it's sincerely, and I know sometimes

that's a cursing and a blessing in people's lives. In my case, that's a deep blessing. So to understand, I never knew so much of my own parents' journey, honestly, until I was a teenager later on in life. So for example, here's my mom would never walk past a homeless person, and I never understood that. Like I thought it was normal normal until I saw other parents

who would do it. And she would always stop. Sometimes she'd give money, sometimes she wouldn't. Often she would choose to. And I know some people have their own opinion on that, but that's her choice. And she would always ask them their name. And here's the kicker.

I didn't know until I was a teenager that when my mom was growing up, I knew she lost her father, my grandfather, but I didn't know that times are so bad that they ended up not being able to afford their rent, and so they ended up living in a public land in parks. So my mom was homeless for part of her childhood, and this is something you never talked about, but she just kept it as a guiding principle in how she would engage with others, remembering that it's not by fault or by choice. Sometimes just life happens.

And in her case, it was extenuating circumstances that she ended up, and it's a beautiful story, my grandmother, and are borrowing some money to teach herself how to touch type at night. And while she was scrubbing floors during the day, and Chambermaid back in the day, They're borrowing some money to teach herself how to touch type at night. And while she was scrubbing floors during the day, and Chambermaid back in the day, and she read in the paper about a local high school burn down, and she showed up at Chrysler's

and said, I am a high school graduate. She hadn't finished elementary school. And they said, prove it. And she said, you know that high school burned down. Those had my high school records. She was put me in front of any touch type, typewriter. And I will touch type faster than anyone else. And that's the only time that someone would have learned how to touch type would have been in high school. So she basically faked her way into this secretary's job that to the day that she died at 98 years old, she never let me tell that story because she was convinced Chris would take away her pension. But I love the fact that if it wasn't for that kindness of

that one moment that turned my mom's life around and she became a teacher and as a result, I had and you look at how life is so such a role the dice. Like you get to set it and we get to, same on the We Day stage, welcome these incredible change makers, icons and activists and heroes. And sometimes they're there because they have an incredible talent, but a lot of times it was a total role, the dice of luck. And I think that if we approach life with a little bit more humility in that way, we realize that they're about for the grace of God separates myself and someone else's in their reality. We will have that empathy and that compassion to reach out and support others through their own tough times.

I'm Dr. Romani and I am back with season two of my podcast, Navigating Narcissism. Narcissists are everywhere and their toxic behavior and words can cause serious harm to your mental health. In our first season, we heard from Eileen Charlotte, who was loved by the Tinder Swindler. The worst part is that he can only be guilty for stealing the money from me, but he cannot be guilty for the mental part he did. And that's even way worse than the money he took. But I am here to help. As a licensed psychologist and survivor of narcissistic abuse myself, I know how to identify the

narcissist in your life. Each week you will hear stories from survivors who have navigated through toxic relationships, gaslightings, love bombing, and the process of their healing from these relationships. Listen to navigating narcissism on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our 20s are seen as this golden decade. Our time to be carefree, full in love, make mistakes, and decide what we want from our life. But what can psychology really teach us about this decade?

I'm Gemma Speg, the host of the psychology of your 20s. Each week we take a deep dive into a unique aspect of our 20s. From career anxiety, mental health, heartbreak, money, friendships, and much more, to explore the science and the psychology behind our experiences, incredible guests, fascinating topics, important science, and a bit of my own personal experience. Audrey, I honestly have no idea what's going on with my life. Join me as we explore what our 20s are really all about, from the good, the bad, and the ugly, and listen along as we uncover how everything is psychology, including our 20s.

The psychology of your 20s hosted by me, Gemma Speg. Now streaming on the iHotRadio app, Apple podcasts or whatever you get your podcasts. Conquer your New Year's resolution to be more productive with the Before Breakfast Podcast in each bite-sized daily episode. Time management and productivity expert, Laura Vandercam teaches you how to make the most of your time, both at work and at home. These are the practical suggestions you need to get more done with your day. Just as lifting weights keeps our bodies strong as we age, learning new skills is the mental equivalent of pumping iron.

Listen to Before Breakfast on the I Heart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Yeah, absolutely. I couldn't agree with you more. And I think it's those moments of humanity almost. Yes. That sometimes your day can just go without, like you can just miss those moments of humanity, whether it's saying hello,

or asking the name of a homeless person, or speaking to your lift or Uber driver, or an upload, or just stopping and pausing for the person who opened the door for you. Yes. Whatever those moments are, can actually so much for the other person, but also yourself for yourself too. 100%. Tell me about the people that I'm sure you've heard this a million times and that's why I'm interested to get your perspective. When people say Craig like, I get it. I want to help but I've just got so much.

You know, it's a very valid thought of like I've just got so much personal stuff going on right now like. Yes. Like what it has been your response or understanding of that. I'm just dealing with me right now. Forget we, like understood. Well, two parts, one, that's fair. There are points in our lives where we need to support our own well-being. That's a very fair thing.

And we've got a ratio for help. And we've got to be willing to accept help. And that's incredibly important, full stop period. But on top of that, I'd also add that one of the greatest things we can do for ourselves is actually help someone else. So we do an annual survey. We put this out to schools and students

across America and across Canada. So we're talking about 20,000 schools, and we ask young people, what's the number one cause you want to take action on? Any guesses? No, I don't know. Mental health. I was gonna say mental health. It's mental health, what's the number one cause you want to take action on? Any guesses? No, no, no. Mental health. I was going to say mental health. It's mental health.

But it is. It's like, we're hearing, it's like an epidemic. You know, it's a 56% rise in the past 10 years on you suicide in America alone. Yeah. Like, this is crazy. This is unbelievably shocking. This should be, you know, on the front page of every newspaper, nevermind depression, anxiety and all the other issues.

So we convened an incredible group of advisors. You know, we're now in so many schools, we feel a moral responsibility to help on this. We've got hundreds of staff, the coaching schools, the working, so we brought all these advisors together, foundations, mental health America, GED Foundation, you know, hospitals, universities, and we sat around a table and said,

you know how we can solve part of this? Is to go early enough to build the first K through 12 national mental health curriculum. There's a lot of great local initiatives, but on scale, I mean tens of thousands of school scale to bring the resources together, to channel them this way. And so we've been systematically doing that

and the research is powerful. And we're looking at research and behavior, we're looking at research and information, we're looking at research and information, we're looking at biochemical markers, like cortisol level tracking, et cetera. One of the most powerful things overwhelmingly that you can do as a young person, if you are facing anxiety,

if you are facing, not clinically, but various factors of depression, if you're facing tough times, is actually to reach out and help someone else. Yes. It triggers, and you know this, and I know this, but I really wanna make sure, because I heard this, and it wasn't until actually

I looked at the data and the research on a biochemical level, and you go, oh my gosh, there really is a helper's high. Like reaching out to others, that sense of purpose in our lives is, in some cases, it is actually a thing, there's a psychologist to be worked with, this is an extreme case, but he's made this comment that, you know,

you knew a client who didn't take their life on Thursday because they knew they had to be volunteering on Friday. Like that someone counted on them, dependent on them. And so when you look at that as extreme cases, but just, it doesn't have to be that extreme, just even the anxiety and the perspective and the gratitude and all of that that we get by helping someone else. So, so much of what we're now doing is focused on helping young people to help someone else

to truly help themselves in the process. Yeah, I love that. I've dedicated all my content to mental health, like my whole, everything I do is for that. And you know, when I first started creating content, not realizing, and I'm sure you follow, they're like, what impact it's going to have. Yes.

And I started to receive these messages from all over the world where people would say, Jay, that video just stopped me from committing suicide or That one thing that you wrote that saved my relationship or that helped me talk to my parents or whatever It helped me come out to my parents or whatever it was and I just feel like when you hear things like that you start to recognize And that's what you're saying this helpers high of that service is that oh wow like even this thing This three-minute thing that I recorded that I oh wow, like even this thing, this three minute thing that I recorded that I had no idea,

has impacted someone I don't even know. And I think when people start to feel that, I mean, right now I hope you can hear it, we can literally hear the music from this. You've built a movement, like you have built a movement and that is not easy. And you built it before social media was at its high. You started before emails and technology was at a space, like you built it before social media was at its high you started before emails and technology was at a space like you built it and

Created something tell me the pillars tell us the pillars of Building a genuine service base movement like what does it take? What are the three things five things? Whatever it is for you? What are the pillars? If someone's thinking I want to start a movement of change What what is that take? A big question. It's a to questions. It's a big question. It's a big question. But here is the first thing I would actually say. This is the controversial one.

Don't. Don't help someone else. No, no, no Like, they could maybe not be the same thing. Like, you know, there's so many great causes that need your help. We live in a world of 1.7 million charities just in America. Oh, wow. I didn't know that. That's how many registered charities there are.

So most of them are struggling. A lot of them are struggling. There's like 300 people, there are a thousand people, there are 300 million people. And then you look at 1.7, like just do the math. Like, there are so many causes already that need people's help as volunteers, as donors, as engages. So the first thing I would say is to really check

the humility of why we're doing it. Great question. Great, great, great. Because you can reach out to so many causes that would love your help. And it's easier, and you'll have a greater impact. But number two, maybe you have an idea that's fundamentally different.

So now we're at that stage, great. We will actually help you. So anyone watching, we're sincerely, we have microgrants, we've got coaching, we've got support, we've got pitch competitions, like we'll actually help you be a social entrepreneur. This is partially what we do. We make doing good doable.

So my second big piece of ice, ask for help. You don't have to do this on your own. There are people out there like us and other organizations that will exist for this very purpose. And what does that mean? Ask for help, it's good, a great boarded directors, get a great group of advisors, get a great group of family and friends.

And then thirdly, I'd really fundamentally go to, is it an activity or what's the outcome you're driving towards? A lot of people are busy with activities. We do a lot, we've got a lot going on, but what's the outcome? How do we actually solve fundamentally what we're trying to solve in the world? And when we really think of it from that outcome, it'll help sharpen our actions, our plans, and our impact. That's, it's funny. You say that because that was exactly the reason I reached out to you.

I saw your organization doing everything that I would have a dream of already doing it. Oh. And I was just going, I was like, well, why would I, why would you start your own thing? Like, you know, like, why would, why would you go? No, no, genuinely, as in you're saying, and I was having this conversation, literally just on Sunday with a friend who's, we were talking about foundations and charities and developing and creating,

and we're just saying, are we creating things for ego to have our name on it, to be able to say that this is what I've achieved and done, or are we involved because we really care about the change, and it doesn't matter whose name's on it, and who's remembered for it. And I think that that comes so much closer to my monk training of wanting to see a service, and the analogy that we would always give is that of salt.

So if you think about salt and a meal, do you cook? Terrible. It's me too, so I can't cook to say my life. So anyway, I about salt and a meal, yes, do you cook? Terribly. It's me too. So I can't cook to say my life. So anyway, I'm giving a food analogy. So many doesn't cook. But but salt is one of those things that if there's not enough salt or there's too much salt, it will always take the blame. There's just too much salt or there's not enough salt. But if the salt is perfect, no one ever says the salt is perfect. People forget that it even

exists. And so it's like someone who has a real service is like salt. I'll let it out. They're just they're just there. And so it's like someone who has real services like so. They're just there. And if it's the perfect amount, then people even forget that it exists. I love that. And so for me, that's that is genuinely the reason I reached out to you and your team was because I was just like, yeah, this is so powerful. Service-based learning is my dream if you could teach kids how to serve and to teach them through education, I think is the smartest thing ever. And I couldn't agree with you more.

I think that's what I say often people is like, what's causing you the greatest pain in the world? Like where's your pain point? Find out who's helping that pain point and then go and help them. Yes, right? Like because someone's thought of the thing before us. Someone's already tried to build a platform

or a program before us. And assisting is a lot of fun because when you're working together, Yes. It's powerful. That's beautiful. You've always been working with your brother for 20 plus years. Oh my God, so beginning.

Tell us what that is like because 20 years is a long, long time. So when I was a kid, 12 years old, I flailed my arms and I needed help quickly. I didn't see how old he's older. He's older, which is under itself very cool because how often does the older brother come to the rescue of the younger brother

for an idea? Like, it was a crazy childhood to be very honest. Against, Drip when I was 12, that we talked about, came back home. Shortly thereafter, I found myself testifying before congressional committees. I was on the Oprah show when I was 14. Oprah pledged 100 schools with us.

We didn't know how to build 100 schools, like back in the day. And suddenly, I never forget her. It was a multi-million dollar pledge on the show. And her chief operating officer turned me and said, I want adult supervision to fulfill this. And so the next day, my brother, who was all of, I wasn't even 20 at the time, flew in from college,

and he's looking at me, looking at my brother going, this is not what I meant by all the division, like I'm at an actual organization behind the two of you, before we give you millions of dollars to build schools. And so he, and the, you know, it was this incredible learning and through failure and struggles and asking for help and this, I couldn't imagine any other way than doing it with my brother.

But here's also the truth about it, frankly, we were not particularly close growing up because there's almost six years between us. And so I was in elementary school. He was done in high school by that point. And really what actually brought us together was doing this. And I think it's one of the great gifts. Again, we talk about how helping others helps yourself. It's what our family values have now been built around.

I don't want to say I'm called corny about it, but it's true. It's something that our family will actually come together and my parents are retired schoolteachers will go overseas in our schools on these family volunteer trips and they'll teach. And my brother and I will have a chance to sit around a campfire at the end of the day and we'll have these incredible conversations.

And we'll have a chance to do this together. It is such a gift. I think it's beautiful that you've been able to do it together. I think it's testament to you both living it too and creating it from a really genuine place because people are building, it's hard to do things with family and close friends. And this is where my brother was Harvard undergrad, Rhodes Scholar, Oxford train lawyer, who walks away from that and says, I'm going to go help build a children's charity.

Like unbelievably enormous, enormous data gratitude. That's insane, that's amazing. There's so many things I want to ask you, and I know we've got very little time, but one of the big things I wanted to talk about, and I want everyone to see if you haven't seen the documentary Takes a Child, which I think is really, really incredible work.

I wanted to ask you, what is one of your favorite memories from that time? Like, oh man. That was that first trip I took to Asia when I was a kid in the early start-up days. I'll never forget the moment when we had a chance to see these kids literally being freed and seeing light for the first time.

These were kids involved in human trafficking situations. And we were driving with them, it packed us. There was in a Jeep, there were a 20-vast. I didn't even know how we all fit and we held them to the sides and we were bumping down these roads in rural India and going through rivers and we had to tie it and yank it with a,

it was this crazy journey and everyone was silent the whole time. And until this one kid started to say the words, we are free. And he kept saying it almost in a mantra like way, in his own language in Hindi. And kept saying it again and again and again. And then he started to turn to others and actually like shake them as if he suddenly kind of realized it's like you woke from a dream.

And the other kids started to say, we are free. And they started to laugh. And they started to sing the words and And they would clap and for hours, they just clapped and sang the words, we are free. We are free. And they were clapping and singing and laughing. And it was just in that moment that it was just, it was why we do what we do.

That's awesome. I love that. So we end every interview with the final five. It's a quick fire rapid fire round. So you can only give one word to one sentence answers maximum It's five. Okay, okay, ready? Okay, I know this. Bring it on. What is one of your daily habits that you don't compromise on? Can I say talking to my wife? Yeah, okay, that's a great word. I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, okay. Okay. Oh, so second question. What gives you the most satisfaction when your head hits the pillow at night?

And it can be one sentence. Honestly thinking of my son. Okay. That's why I do all this. Nice. Okay. Question number three. How do you plan on helping more people in 2020?

Oh, asking this amazing host of this podcast that is on purpose that's incredible to join us overseas to film. Wouldn't you want to see him filming a location with us? Let's do it. Let's do it. a location with us? Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Okay, you heard that. You cannot edit that out.

That cannot be edited out. I got your team not even head with me. Okay, question number four. If every kid could experience one thing in their childhood, what should it be? Shameless idealism. Ooh, okay. I'm not expecting that.

I like that. Okay, we got to dive into the offline. A fifth and final question. How can I save you more? Firstly, keep producing the incredible content you do. And secondly, let's to dive into the offline. A fifth and final question, how can I save you more? Firstly, keep producing the incredible content you do, and secondly, let's take this on the road. Let's go to more We Desk.

Let's film it backstage, get all the great talent sharing their stories. Let's do it. And I want to get you, whether in India or rural Africa, or head down the Amazon basin together. I can't, together. Awesome, I love it. Thank you, Craig.

Thank you, thank you. Thank you so much. I genuinely truly hoped you loved that episode. I'm so excited to share with you. I know we did something a little different on Friday. Usually I do a solo episode, but because of it being this special week, I wanted to share this episode with you. It's amazing what we can achieve, what we can do for the world when we apply ourselves, even someone as young as that, as he started, as Craig started. it's incredible what can be achieved. So let's always remind ourselves to wake up tomorrow

with three things we can be grateful for, going to sleep tonight with three things that we're grateful for, living with gratitude day in, day out. Thank you so much. I can't wait for you here next week's episode. I'm Jay Shetty and on my podcast on purpose, I've had the honor to sit down with some of the most incredible hearts and minds on the planet. Oprah, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Hart, Louis Hamilton, and many, many more. On this podcast, you get to hear the raw, real-life stories behind their journeys and the tools

they used, the books they read, and the people that made a difference in their lives so that they can make a difference in hours. Listen to on-purpose with Jay Shetty on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Join the journey soon. What do a flirtatious gambling double agent in World War II? An opera singer who burned down an honorary to Kidnap her lover, and a pirate queen who walked free with all of her spoils, haven't comment.

They're all real women who were left out of your history books. You can hear these stories and more on the Womanica podcast. Check it out on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Getting better with money is a great goal for 2023, but how are you going to make it happen? Ordering a book that lingers on your nightstand isn't going to do the trick. Instead, check out our podcast How to Money. That's right, we're two best buds offering all the helpful personal finance information you need without putting you to sleep. We offer guidance three times a week and we talk about debt payoff, saving more, intelligent investing, and increasing your earnings. Millions of listeners have trusted us to help them make progress with their financial goals.

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