On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Francia Raisa: ON Getting Rid of Toxic People in Your Life

Episode Date: May 13, 2019

In this week’s episode of On Purpose, Grown-ish star Francia Raisa opens up about what it was like growing up in Hollywood and how she’s been able to keep a level head by relying on her faith.She also shared her tips on overcoming rejection and staying grounded.You will be truly inspired after listening to this conversation!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Getting better with money is a great goal for 2023. But how are you going to make it happen? Ordering a book that lingers on your nightstand isn't going to do the trick. Instead, check out our podcast, How To Money. That's right, we're two best buds offering all the helpful personal finance information you need without putting you to sleep.

We offer guidance three times a week, and we talk about debt payoff, saving more, intelligent investing, and increasing your earnings. Millions of listeners have trusted us to help them make progress with their financial goals. You can listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jay Shetty and on my podcast on purpose, I've had the honor to sit down with some of the most incredible hearts and minds on the planet. Oprah, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Hart, Lewis Hamilton, and many, many more.

On this podcast, you get to hear the raw real-life stories behind their journeys and the tools they used, the books they read, and the people that made a difference in their lives so that they can make a difference in hours. Listen to on purpose with Jay Shetty on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Join the journey soon. Conquer your New Year's resolution to be more productive with the Before Breakfast Podcast in each bite-sized daily episode. Time management and productivity expert Laura Vandercam teaches you how to make the most of your time, both at work and at home. These are the practical suggestions you need to get more done with your day. Just as lifting weights keeps our bodies strong as we age, learning new skills is the mental

equivalent of pumping iron. Listen to Before Breakfast on the I Heart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Just like any other drug I think pain could be addicting and it's so hard to get out of that because you're so used to living in that dark for so long that once you see the light you're like, um, my eyes hurt, I don't want to do, so you go back into the darkness and it's going past that pain. Hey everyone, it's so great to be back with you and I can't wait to introduce you to my next guest. We've been trying to get our schedules to align for so long. We finally made it happen and I'm so excited to speak with her.

She's got an incredible, incredible series of things happening in her life. And I'm excited for her to share them with you. Her name is Francia Reyesa and she's an American actress and activist and she's currently starring in free forms wildly successful Grownish and has so many more exciting things coming as well. Francia, thank you so much for being here. Things are happening. That was a great intro. Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. Well, I was going to add that even though we've only met once before this, I've followed you on Instagram since. Yeah.

You've made me laugh. You've moved me. You've made me feel that you're so involved in so many meaningful efforts. Yeah. And so thank you Instagram for letting us connect more and for keeping us connected. Yeah. Yeah. You've been very active and it's great. I appreciate all the comments and stuff that you give back and saying with you.

I mean, all your stuff is super inspirational. I'm like, yes, I can do it. Let me get up. No, thank you. And you're, I think I said it on the day, like you're one million celebration. Oh, God. So, if you haven't seen it, you have to go through Instagram profile. You have to scroll back to when she hear a million and she did this dance to celebrate. Yeah.

And it was so good. And by the time we filmed, I'd already been dancing for two hours. I was so tired and I'm like, wow, I'm not 14 anymore. Where I can just keep going. Yeah, but it was fun. You did. I did. Where did it happen. Yeah, but it was fun. I did. Yeah, somehow. Somehow. You didn't skip anything. Yeah.

No, you're awesome. And I'm so excited for you. I saw the art calendar. I did the other day. Yeah. This is incredible. Yeah, I'm very excited about it. I can't believe I didn't even know about the story just to kind of elaborate.

Yes, yes, yes. I want to hear all about it. Well, in 1947, California became the first day to desegregate all school things to the Mexican-American family. And people don't really know about that. Unless you study Chicano Studies or really look into our history.

And Brown versus Board of Education is really the only piece of history that we know with desegregating schools. But actually, Thurgood Marshall used Mendes versus Westminster as a gateway for Brown versus Board of Education. And, you know, I found out about the story in January. And I brought it to Mandy Tp, my producing partner, and we were just on it and trying to get the family to come on board with us. And they've had so many people approach them about a film and somehow they felt more comfortable

with me than anyone else. So now we're here in the development stages and I'm very, very excited to finally bring this story to life. Yeah, that's beautiful. How did you find this story? My boyfriend, actually. Oh, yeah. So I've been wanting to produce for a long time.

I've been doing this business for 13 years now. And I just kind of wanted to do more than just acting. And Mandy's always been pushing me to produce as well. Her husband is actually my manager. And so my boyfriend's super supportive. And I've been looking for stuff, looking for stuff. And he came across it somehow and he's like, did you know this?

And I was like, no. And so I started looking more into it and reading about it. I brought it to Mani. She goes, how does anyone know this? And I got rejected from school when I was five years old for not being able to speak English. So that was against my rights as a citizen. So we contacted Sylvia Mendez, who actually was awarded the Medal of Freedom from Barack

Obama, and contacted her, went to see her, and had probably got two, three hour conversation with her. And she immediately said, no, I don't want to get away my rights. And I was like, okay, listen, it's more than just making a movie. I know the education is very important to you. I'm upset that I didn't learn about this in school. And I want this to be a part of our school curriculum. And the best way to do that is through Hollywood.

I was like, it has to be told. I told her about my getting rejected from school which she was shocked about because I was in the 90s. And this case happened in the 40s. I didn't know this, but later on I found out that she went to her sister's house and said, I have a feeling about her. I think this might be the right move. And it was just a gut feeling, met the whole family. And then, um, we about a few months ago, we got them to sign paperwork and now we're partners in development.

Congratulations. Thank you so much. I'm just in cronicity of that story. Yeah. It gives me so much faith in entertainment and it's a role in shifting culture and telling stories because the way that all came together, like your boyfriend, they trusted you. And that's huge. And that's massive for them to be telling that down. But for you to also have had that experience yourself. Right, and that's one thing that my mom was always so upset about.

She goes, name the school, which I won't now, but it's not worth it. But I was telling my mom was like, it's so funny. At five years old, this happened to me. Who knew that that rejection would lead to this opportunity? Amazing. Yeah. Years later, I mean, you just never know. Absolutely. And what a beautiful connection that's. Do you reckon that's the reason that the family felt like

That was one of the reason. I think it was part of that us Latinos were very big about gut feeling and One thing that they said they're like you can't really translate They said we just had a present to me and though which means intuition and I think it's just in conversing with her and You know growing up in this industry being very passionate about my culture and really wanting this to be a part of our education, I think is what really dropped them and be like, okay. I love that. Where does that Latino got intuition come from? Like, when did you start saying that to yourself? When did that start?

Being away, you made decisions in your life. When my mother knew things about me that there was no way she would have known about and unless it was that like got intuition, I'm like, Mom, how do you know this? She goes, I just know. I get just the weirdest intuition that women develop. Can you tell us one of those examples? Do you remember any of the cut lead out?

I mean, this might be TMI. This is really TMI, but it's one of those things where like, nothing happened. I saw my mom one day, I went to visit her at a restaurant and she goes, you lost her virginity yesterday and I was like, how do you know that? Like it was one of, like that's not crazy. There's no way she would have known, but she just knew. That's amazing.

Wow. That was the best example you could have given us. TMI. Yeah, that's crazy. Wow. And I love how true that is for you because even your role in Gronish is like challenging type costs, right? It's like challenging typecast. I think you're challenging how ethnicity and backgrounds are presented. I think it doesn't any role period. I mean, I think before when I was first starting in this industry, I was just so desperate to work. I was like, I'll do anything. And now I'm more so standing up for

my culture and just my characters and, you know, saying, I don't feel comfortable saying that, or as if it's stereotypical. That's what I'm in. Yeah. Yeah. So I think it's with every role. And just even myself, there was a line we're shooting season to right now. And I have a scene with someone where we're talking about relationships. And he's saying, girls get crazy whatever. And my line was, well, girls only get crazy because,

and I went to the producers and I said, you know what? I don't feel comfortable saying that, because I'm almost condoning the fact that girls go crazy. So they were very open to that and you know, I was able to say quote-unquote whatever, but you know, stuff like that I'm very much about standing up for. Any sort of body shaming I won't talk about, I'm just more open and like really standing up for my own personal beliefs that will coincide with the characters. That's amazing. When did you, when do you feel or what made you feel confident to even have that conversation? Because from conversations I've had with artists and actors before, it's very much like,

well, that's the script. And it's really something that shifts much. Right. So when did you develop that confidence? Or have you always had it? And where has it come from? I think one turning 30 really made me be like, God, don't care very much. But two, honestly, it's the me two movement. Because once these stories started coming out, I realized that a lot of things that I wasn't okay with, but I was quiet about, we're actually not okay.

So because women started speaking out about their experiences and even men too, we're speaking out on this stuff and the times up, I just started being more comfortable, being verbal, especially because now people do get in trouble for it. So, and people are very open-minded. A lot of, I work with the best writers and producers and stuff. So, it's just a conversation.

And you hear this growing up, but it doesn't really catch you until you're older. I guess, or something happens, where like, the worst thing they can say is no. So, might as well try. Or you're just going to regret and be like, what if I should have, I should have, and I hate saying I should have. Yeah, absolutely.

But I do, I really, I've recognized and valued that so much, I admire it so much because I think I always said that if we don't see the culture of media shift and we can't expect in real life, I remember when you started to see more LGBTQ representatives in media, then people feel like they can be themselves, you know, off screen and offline. And I feel like the fact that you're doing that, like that makes me so happy, like it's such a huge thing to do. And whether that's you representing your background, your walk of life, your philosophy, your ideologies, whatever it is, I think it's such an important stand. So I just want to recognize you for that. I appreciate about you.

I appreciate about you for that. I think it's hopefully going to give anyone who's listening like more upcoming artists also the feeling to- The freedom to do so. The freedom. And there's a way to go about it. Just do it with grace. Have a conversation about it.

Like, I, you know, I don't come with an attitude. I'm not yelling. I try to sometimes slip. But yeah, you just gotta have a conversation. Be like, this is where I'm coming from with it. Just with any relationship, communication is key. You gotta be the change. So, you know, just talk about it.

Where did you get this amazing attitude? I love it because that's what I've been experiencing on Instagram and I'm like, every time you post something, I'll be like, oh my God, that's so like evolved. Yeah, in a good way, like you just have this awesome energy about it. I appreciate it. And I was just like, where do you get it from?

Where does it come from? Honestly, lots of therapy and church. A lot of church, yeah. Nice. I've been actively going to church for a while now, but I think in 2000, what year are we in? 16. 2018.

16.15, I was going consistently every Sunday and just really soul-searching and having conversation and just really understanding things a lot differently than the way I was seeing them. That's beautiful. And that was not something that you did since you were young, you were something that came later on. Yeah, I came later on when I was younger. I mean, I went through as many people have a lot of trauma

growing up and I was just angry and I was going through a lot of pain and I was just so confused. And I started working at 17 years old. So I went from being a senior in high school to be filling out W2, not understanding what I was filling out. And at the time I was dating someone that was 19 years older than me. So I was just so confused about life and just lost and I didn't actually get

received therapy from that relationship till about, I mean, almost eight years later, where I actually realized what kind of trauma had gone through, what kind of verbal abuse I had gone through and just really had to grow up. Because it came to a point where I was just so depressed and I could not get out of my closet. Like that's where I would pray and just cry with my closet and I just really had to grow up because it came to a point where I was just so depressed and I could not get out of my closet. Like that's where I would pray and just cry was my closet and I just could not leave and I was like, I can't live like this anymore. So, you know, my pastor came into my life

who's like my big brother now. My acting coach was said, I won't coach you unless you go to therapy. And so I was really forced by my loved ones to seek help and here I am a few years later. But I needed it and I wanted it. And I've learned that it's really a choice. Like people can tell you things or you can give advice,

but if they're not ready to hear it, like there's no point to it. And I was just at that point where I was ready. So amazing. Thank you for sharing that. Yeah, of course. Yeah, it's such a beautiful message also for loved ones to hear that.

Yeah. That they have to do or play their role. Like what you just said, you're acting curtupon and work with you if you didn't. And just playing that role, but then you're still saying it's your responsibility, it's your choice. Yeah, it is.

I mean, they got to play their role, but also be patient with you when you reject it and or accept it because I mean, just like any other drug, I think pain could be addicting. And it's so hard to get out of that because you're so used to living in that dark for so long that once you see the light, you're like, my eyes hurt, I don't want to do this. So you go back into the darkness and it's just going past that pain, past that addiction.

Yeah. It's like being bad and trying to wake up. It's so easy to just stay under your clothes because it makes excuses. Yeah, make it too. Oh, I got tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's, yeah, self-pity is oh, I got tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's, yeah, self-pity is so addictive. Very addictive.

Yeah, very addictive. That's amazing. It's nice to see how different people find different things that create that, but the therapy in chat seems to be popular. Yeah. Something spiritual and something therapeutic that helps you talk it through. Yeah, exactly.

Are you now providing, are you someone who is a helper amongst your friends too and like guiding them through their challenges? And sometimes it depends on the situation. If they look for it and want to have a conversation for sure, I mean, we have my friends, I have different group of friends, we have group chats going on. And if they come to me then for sure, I'm there. But sometimes it's like, you got a way to see if they're ready. Or if there's a point where I'm like, as we may have a conversation what's going on with you, then I will, but it just really depends. You don't want to force it on anyone either. I didn't like

it when people force it on me, so I don't do that. I'm really big about if I don't like something, I'm not going to do it. Yeah, absolutely. I think that you have to give people that freedom. Yeah, if it doesn't feel like your choice, you're never going to follow up. Yeah, exactly. Absolutely. Yeah. I love it. I've read somewhere that you talking about the child of an immigrant work ethic. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I love that. Yeah. Can you tell us a bit about that? Like what does it say what? No, just like what what do you mean by that? Because I think like that theme is kind of coming out a lot more immediate now. A lot of people are like, I'm trying to get them to the set up work, I think it's impacting my success. How is it impacted yours? Well, let's see. When President Trump came into office, just like many people,

I was very angry, especially because while he was running, he talked about my family. And I say my family, because I am Mexican and Hondurania and we consider each other family. As aliens, as rapists, as murders and all this stuff, and I've always been proud of being a first generation American and speaking Spanish growing up, I'm bilingual. And then that was tested when he started running. And so I started being more active and outspoken about how proud I am of our culture. And my father actually was born and raised in Honduras, came out here when he was probably in his 20s after both his parents died

and doesn't speak a lick of English to this day. Someone told him when he landed, if you want to make it in Hollywood, you have to learn English, or you're never going to make it. And he said, watch me. And in 2014, he got a star in the Hollywood Walker fame. And still does not speak English. He's been very successful in his career. And I think his work ethic and the fact that I had hope and what can happen living right next to me is what's really made me be like, no, we're not aliens, we're not murderers. Like my father helped change the world a bit and that he's a Latin man who doesn't speak English. What are you talking about? So I think that's why that comes about

and my passion for it. And again, there's other people that first generation. Why an incredible role model down right next to you? Yeah. That's amazing. It's amazing. How is that had pressure as it just has positives? There's been a bit of both. I mean, there's no positive without pressure. I think. Yeah, okay.

I like that. Yeah, so growing up there was a bit of pressure, I guess. I didn't understand it growing up because my father was famous and I again I didn't know him walking down the street and people asking for photos. I didn't understand it because to me it's just my dad and I remember being like that. When you go out today you're not allowed to take pictures and you're not allowed to meet people and if he did I would cry and be like you promise me not understanding and then it just felt a little pressure because I had to hold up this persona because I'm Goukwe's daughter and I didn't understand what that meant. And then when just felt a little pressure because I had to hold up this persona because I'm Goukwe's daughter and I didn't understand what that meant.

And then when I chose to be a part of this industry, kind of living up to his name a little bit because he's a huge activist. And I think that's why he got the star when his ratings were really great in Latin market. But also he's, you know, started non-profit and, you know, when the earthquake in El Salvador happened, he built homes and he built churches and he built schools and he went to Nigeria. He's huge in philanthropy.

So. Yeah. So now, if you, seeing your success, if you ever have kids, I don't know if you wanna have kids, but if you ever have kids, how would you, how would you do it with them with people when they take pictures with you and how would you manage that? I don't know, I've never even thought about it. with you and I'm like, oh gosh. I'm like, how would you manage that? I don't know, I've never even thought about it.

Sorry, and I'm like, false-boarding. No, you're fine, obviously it is a thought. Like ever since I turned 30, I was like, okay. Because my mom brought it up, she goes, I do wanna know what it's like to have grandkids with no pressure. I don't know, I mean, I think, yeah, I think it's just having to explain it.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Kids think it's just having to explain it. Yeah. I don't know. It's good. It's going to be born with a million followers already. That's like the new thing, right? Yeah. I see it with so many people.

Like the child's born and they have a million Instagram followers. I know. And they make money. Yeah. And they don't even understand. Absolutely. It's crazy to be. They're advertising like the latest sneakers or whatever.

Yeah. I know. Exactly. It's a huge exactly. It's cute. It's part of it's cute. Yeah, it's really cute. Gosh, that's a good question. I don't even know what I'm going to do. Yeah.

Your mom asked me to ask you, so that's great. Yeah, no, it's definitely something that I think about a lot as well. It's just the culture that adjusts that, but the culture that we all grew up in, it was different for me growing up in London. And I remember my parents would never get me a pair of Nike trainers because like sneakers, sorry,

because it was just like, no, you can't have those, like we can't afford them, whatever it was. And then I remember getting my first pair. And then now I'm in a very different world. And you just wonder how different things impact and even hearing your story of the background and culture you've grown in. I'm always just fascinated by how people get their incredible ideologies. Yeah, I remember that too when we couldn't afford anything and then my dad took me to Toys

or Othlin Time and said, get whatever you want. And I was like, I don't, you're not limited in me to like one toy. Yeah. And I mean, hopefully when I have kids, I don't, I can provide. But I think, yeah, it's having a conversation. I don't think they ever really talked to me about what he did And help me understand it was just like this is what he what he does and that's what it is. Right. Yeah Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, that would be a hard conversation I don't think they understood because that Hollywood wasn't like a thing I mean growing up in Honduras and Mexico was just a dream, but I grew up with it over the hill.

And so I think it's just having conversation. My parents weren't very open with having conversations with us. They were very like conservative and old school and stuff. I mean, I remember when I asked my mom what a virgin was, she goes, it means when you're not married. And when you're not a virgin, you're married. And that was it.

That's how I found out about sex. That's what it was. Wow. Here did, yeah. So they were, they wouldn't talk to me much. And then she told you you were married. Yeah. I know. Wow. Okay. Right. Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. That's awesome. I was, I, everyone, everyone who is listening right now, Francia learns all her lines the day before. I sure, like I'm so impressed right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you just told on me to production. It's okay. Oh, sorry. Oh, yes. No, no, it's fine. It's fine. Yeah, no, it's fine because you know, as long as I am prepared when we run lines and when we're shooting, it's fine.

But that's the best way that I learn. Like, I can't do it too many times before because then you overrehearse and there is such thing as overrehearsing and then you're more in your head. And it's not as organic. I mean, like you and I are having a conversation right now. I mean, if this were a scene, I would have learned it right before because I want to actually listen to your dialogue and if I overrehearse, I'll know your dialogue. Then I'm not hearing you and then I won't react organically.

Well, have you, have you, as your style evolved evolved as your workflow evolved as you've been? What's been like the newest lesson that you've learned in your space? Probably like what I just talked about listening, really, really listening improvisation a little bit because it's my first time on a comedy. And you know, they kind of give us wiggle room to add live or improvise. And I don't think I've really gotten much of that before. So it's really made me stand up and like listen and be on my toes and come up with something clever. Which that's actually really hard. So as and now people, you guys, do you think you've become funnier in the process? I hope so. I really hope so. I get some laughs. Yeah, yeah. We listen for that because if village, video village is where the producers in the writer

say, we don't hear them laughing. We're like, am I not funny? Oh no. And when we hear them laugh, even though sound hates it, we're like, no, it makes us feel good. What's that pressure like, though? It's like, because that's, I guess, very different to having your lines, doing your script here.

You've got that room. Right. It's like, how does that feel like trying to wait for laughs? It's like a standard comedian. I know, right. It's better now because we're all family. There's a second year that we've been working together. And I think I put more pressure on myself than anyone did

because I was so used to drama. And I can cry on cue, but comedic timing is crazy. And it's a real thing. So I was just putting a lot of pressure on myself, but I've chilled out a lot to season and just kind of let it happen. Nice. Nice.

I'm gonna be looking out for now, there's moments where I'm like, and that's fancy of being comedic. Having those moments. When I see your work and I follow you in Instatris, I was saying earlier, you seem like someone who really values your physical and your mental health.

Yeah. Like somebody really prioritizes it. At least I feel that way. Yeah. And what kind of rituals or setups have you put into place that have helped you do that with a stressful career, with a pressurized lifestyle, with crazy travel plans as we were discussing earlier, what's become like priorities for you to make sure that both of those work well. Sure, John Sundays. I have to, even if I'm traveling, I've been bad about going physically

because of work and I'm tired, but they thankfully will stream it online. So I'll watch it online, even if I hear it in the background. So that's been very important to me and very helpful journaling. I'm big about journaling and I try to find time either in between takes or in the mornings. It's been harder in the mornings,

but my ritual was waking up, making my coffee, going outside to journal, and then I go to the gym, or yoga or something, and lately, I've just been getting some friends to do yoga with me. I'm trying to get your wife to do it with me. Do it! She would love that. Yeah, hot yoga.

Oh my God, I hate it. Yeah, we just talked about it. Yeah, please, that would love that! Hot yoga. Oh my god, I hate it. We just talked about it. Yeah, please, that would be amazing. Yeah, so I just need that stress reliever. Conquer your New Year's resolution to be more productive with the Before Breakfast Podcast in each bite-sized daily episode, time management and productivity expert Laura Vandercam teaches you

how to make the most of your time, both at work and at home. These are the practical suggestions you need to get more done with your day. Just as lifting weights keeps our bodies strong as we age, learning new skills is the mental equivalent of pumping iron. Listen to before breakfast on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. How's that New Year's resolution coming along? You know, the one you made about paying off your pesky credit card debt and finally starting to save for retirement?

Well, you're not alone if you haven't made progress yet, roughly four in five New Year's resolutions fail within the first month or two. But that doesn't have to be the case for you and your goals. Our podcast How to Money can help. That's right, we're two best buds who've been at it for more than five years now, and we want to see you achieve your money goals. And it's our goal to provide the information and encouragement you need to do it. We keep the show fresh by answering list our questions, interviewing experts, and focusing

on the relevant financial news that you need to know about. Our show is Chalk Full of the Personal Finance Knowledge that you need with guidance three times a week, and we talk about debt payoff. If, let's say you've had a particularly spend-thrift holiday season. We also talk about building up your savings, intelligent investing, and growing your income no matter where you are on your financial journey, how do monies got your back? Millions of listeners have trusted us to help them achieve their financial goals. Ensure that your resolution turns into ongoing progress. Listen to how to money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

to how to money on the iHeartRadio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. I am Mi'amla and on my podcast, the R-Spot, we're having inspirational, educational, and sometimes difficult and challenging conversations about relationships. They may not have the capacity to give you what you need and insisting means that you are abusing yourself now you human That means that you're crazy as hell When a relationship breaks down I take copious Notes and I want to share them with you anybody with two eyes and a brain I want to share them with you. Anybody with two eyes in a brain knows that too much Alfredo sauce is just no good for you.

But if you're gonna eat it, they're not gonna stop you. So he's gonna continue to give you the Alfredo sauce and put it even on your grits if you don't stop him. Listen to the art spot on the iHeart Video app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Yeah, absolutely. And your journaling was there a specific process that you did or you're just letting all your thoughts from the day before or what's that kind of take and where is it just very open and random and spontaneous?

It could be random spontaneous, but my journaling are my prayers because I'm very bad about, you know, you're like, do your God. So I just I just write it and what I do is I write letters to God. I love that. And then whatever flow is flows. That's beautiful. Yeah. Well, that's amazing. Are we going to print as it was?

Probably not. OK. He's a professional. Yeah, it's very personal. I know people have approached me about that. But yeah, that's super personal. I think especially in this business, there's a lot of pressure to be public about things.

So that stuff like that, I think, is good to keep private, which is so weird to me, because it wasn't a thing until social media came about, because before it was like, keep your stuff private, that of that. Now it's like you get paid to be more open about your life. Yes. And I think some people tend to go crazy because you share too much. Just like when you're little, if you share too much gossip, it becomes back to you. So I can't even imagine being in the public light with some of these relationships and breakups. I mean, it's breakups especially

because you already have to deal with the breakup and then deal with people's opinions on top of that. It's just, it's a lot. Totally, totally. And sometimes I feel like vulnerability is mistaken for telling everyone everything. Yeah. And it's almost like, I don't know how you feel about that. That's how I feel.

Like vulnerability to me doesn't mean telling everyone everything. Yeah, no it doesn't. Because that is don't think that that's going to be helpful to you or to everyone. Right. It's not useful. Yeah, to me vulnerability is just being transparent in what you feel comfortable. Like I'm being vulnerable right now and having this conversation, but yeah, I'm not telling you everything about my life.

You know, you don't have to be. I know. Yeah, no, absolutely. Yeah, no, I feel you're being transparent too. I feel like you're sharing. But yeah, it's relationships develop in layers. Yeah. And you kind of move forward with people.

Yeah. And naturally your inner circle knows you better, et cetera. And trying to get everyone to understand you at the same level, actually doesn't make sense. No, especially at the speed that most people want to do it in. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's like, there's an, it's like, I want to get to know you straight away now.

Yeah, and I'm like, chill out, bro. Chill. And yes, you know, I have people for, I have friends that I've known for many years, like our mutual friend, I call them res. Yeah, res, shout out to res. Well, that res. And look at what you did. Yeah, exactly. I'm them res. Yeah, res, Shah, to res. Well, that res. Look at what you did.

Yeah, exactly. I'm Montana. So, yeah, I've known him since we were 14 years old, but now it's like, we're at a point where we know each other so well, but it wasn't because we, you know, started sharing each other's secrets right away. We actually weren't friends in high school, and he hates that I talk about that, but I think it's really cool that, you know, we actually weren't friends in high school, we developed a relationship afterwards, and now we're here where we just like intuition, we just know each other. Yeah,

yeah, it's beautiful. That's such a nice message to everyone listening. Yeah, it's okay if it takes time to come friends with people. Friends, relationships, everything, there's no rush. There's absolute no rush, especially relationships. I know people are like after the first date, what is this? Yeah. And I was one of those girls like very much about what is this, where is this going? I just don't want to waste my time and I understand that but it's okay to be friends first. I think those are the best relationships. Yeah, I've been saying to a lot of people as well that just everything is so much more gray rather than black and white like it's like this or that. Yeah. We're like to like all in or nothing. Yeah. Or it's like, okay, what's happening?

And what's not happening? It's almost like, well, actually things are so much more gray. And you allow it to develop organically and naturally rather than rushing in or rushing out. Yeah. And but it takes time. And it takes like time.

Time. Yeah. And energy, like real amounts of energy and connection, which I feel like we just feel like we have less and less times. Yeah, well that's, well yeah, that's true. Which we were trying to figure out. We were like trying to scare you a dinner. I know. I know. Maybe 2019. Yeah, I know. We'll try and make it happen in the room. Yeah, you've got to meet my boyfriend. Yeah, I really want to. Tell me why you think we'll get along. I think in a spiritual conversation you guys will get along. He's very

much about meditation as well. So I feel like you guys will get along that way and just I just have a feeling. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Well, no, I need to talk to you about your prayers too. I'm a huge founder prayer. I think prayer is probably one of the most beautiful things and I remember when I first started praying and this is beautiful talking about And I remember when I first started praying, and this is beautiful talking about it, that you hadn't even planned this. But when I first started praying, I'd always be like, I don't know what to say.

And then now that prayers become so much more natural and a conversation, it's almost like you feel inspired to pray. Like the prayers are coming through you and too, you as opposed to you having to think about what to say, or saying the same thing every day. I don't know, Does that sound similar to your experience? What you was like? So when I first started praying and I'm going to share this, I don't know if this will speak to someone. Obviously, I was like, just sitting there, I'm like, I'm talking to myself, I don't know

what. So I started journaling and those were my letters to God. But it came to a point where I felt disconnected and I was like, I don't hear God the way that I used to or I don't feel things that I used to and I'm having a harder time and I was really discouraged, really frustrated. And this happened earlier this year and I was going to my pastor. I'm like, I come to church, but I feel so disconnected.

I remember during worship I would cry because I would feel it. And now it's just very blank to me. And one thing he said to me was, you're not praying the way that you used to. When you used to pray, when you first started, you were in a broken place. Of course, you heard God differently, because it was a broken person seeking that. But now that you have Christ in you, it's just in you. You're not going hear him the same way because you're already, you're acting Christ like, which is what we are taught in churches

to be more Christ-like. So when you're more Christ-like, it's not that you're disconnected, you're just living and walking, what Christ wants you to be walking in. So it's definitely been different now, because now it's like, I hear about the fires, I'm like, dear God, please, with these fires.

I was like praying for rain, like something, you know, it's just more of a conversation, whether it's in my car in the shower, just like you and I are talking right now. It's not so much like, okay, I got a journal. I'm gonna be quiet and listen to worship or sometimes even just listen to music. Worship music is my form of praying.

And it's just a conversation and just the way I'm acting or the decisions that I make and how I handle certain situations is my form of being more Christ like and handling prayer. That's beautiful and I love that acceptance also of we do change the way we communicate. Yeah. Just like we do in our relationship. Yeah exactly.

It's the same thing. It's not like, oh because it was good then, it's like that same feeling has to happen. Yeah exactly. And that's hard to accept because I was like, I am not as connected anymore. What's going on? I'm going to church, but it's just I'm not so broken anymore. We're here at the same. That's the difference. And that's where you know, you can either try to go back to being in that dark place. So you can hear it the same way or you just kind of accept the new chapter that you're kind of enduring, which is what we work so hard towards. Yeah, you've just opened up a new thought for me. It's so often that we actually recreate

more drama to feel that brokenness again, because that makes us feel connected. Yeah, it's addictive. Yes, it's addictive. Yeah, so we can have something going on around with us. Yeah. I'm like, oh, I'm not crying in therapy as much as I used to. Let me try to make something up or my boyfriend and I are getting along. That's weird.

Let me start a fight. I hope you're not gonna do that. No, no, no, no, I'm not gonna do that. I mean, if anything, I'm like more open like, hey, I've been snappilately. I'm sorry, I don't know why. I don't know what's going on. Yeah, we do the same.

I always do that. I think I apologize to my wife all the time. I'm so much more aware now of the way I'm behaving. So it's so much more easier to catch myself, behaving in a way I don't like, being distracted, or whatever it may be. And just being like, I'm sorry I'm doing that. And please, forgive me because I'm going to do that

or just being aware and actually being able to inform the other person of why you're behaving that. Like, oh, I'm trying to do this right now. And that means, I don't know, yeah. just being aware and actually being able to inform the other person of why you're behaving that. Right. Like, oh, I'm trying to do this right now. Yeah. And that means, I don't know, yeah. No, but same. I mean, I've been more aware and I'm like, I'm sorry and recognizing it before and before

I used to be like, it's your fault because you didn't put the toilet seat down so it's making me react this way. You know, so now I'm more like communicate communicative, as I say, communicative. Yeah. Yeah, put the toilet scene down, Jans. Put toilet scene down. Yeah, make it easy. Ha ha ha.

Make it easy for yourself. There are easy things like that in relationships though. Yeah. And that's what I think. It's like I always found, like me and my wife, by far the best and the easiest, the most amazing relationship. I've ever been in, obviously, that's where we got married. But the interesting thing about it is that I feel like I never wanted to be in a relationship

with which I argued over the dumb stuff, with the small stuff, because I felt like that was the easy stuff that we really should change, adapt, clear, and make it easy on yourself. Because relationships as you grow gets harder in different ways. So many different ways. I think it wasn't, I thought it was good. I was like, I'm great because I was celibate and for like a year and a half I wouldn't date and I was like, you know, let me just focus on myself and grow because there's no way I can keep a relationship with.

So after a year and a half I met him and I still wasn't even ready to date, but he came in my life and I was like, you know what, I can handle this because I'm so good. And then realizing, oh, you're still a shitty person in some capacity because even though I'm good, I'm selfish now. So now I have to learn to not be selfish and communicate and, you know, compromise, which is like the biggest thing is compromising. Yeah, yeah. That's a bad one. And we compromising. Yeah, yeah. That bad.

Yeah, see you. And we're back. Yes, we're back. After that, technical difficulty of some roofwork going on. Yeah. I think, but no, we were so, and I love where we were, because we were talking about relationships. Yeah.

And so much of my audience is watching a lot of my videos, which are about relationships. I'm fascinated by them, because I had so many failed relationships previously. Same. To my marriage. Oh good, okay, so we were on the same wavelength. And I failed so many times, I made so many mistakes,

I got so many things wrong, and I wanted to help people who ever wanted to be to avoid those same mistakes. Right. And allow me to explore content around relationships because I really do feel, it takes up such a big part of my life. And we were both talking about ours. So we were diving into just awareness on when you walk into a relationship,

someone's at a certain level, someone's at a different level. Yeah. And how sometimes some people have to be patient and wait. Yeah. Yeah. I have you, tell me when you've got it wrong and now when you're getting it right, when you're understanding yourself better versus when you didn't. Well, I think when I first got into my relationship, I was still very selfish and very much about

my ways and I wasn't necessarily looking for a relationship. I hate saying this, but it does happen when you least expect it. So 2017, yes, it was a crazy year for me. I had just sold my home and I didn't have a home because I was leaving to film the day I closed Ascrow and so I didn't want to get into a new house and not even be there. So and I sold all my furniture, I just needed to get rid of everything. I had too many memories and energies that I didn't want and it was just time for a change. And I probably was the best decision. I had too many memories and energies that I didn't want, and it was just time for a change. And I probably was the best decision that I'd ever made.

Like so many of those energies are just gone. They're not apart with me, and it just made a whole weight just look off me very expensive, but also just also very healing for me. And so I moved in with one of my friends, many of you know, the story with my friend, Selena. And I was in that new search of myself, had been going to church and therapy and you know clean slate and then you

know I went through a kidney transplant and I booked a grown-ish a few weeks after the transplant and so I was like wow life is definitely taking a turn just for me getting rid of that old energy. So it was just like a turn of events that happened. And I didn't even realize that there were certain choices that I had to make in order to jump into that new way of life that I wanted. And sometimes it was, it's hard decisions like selling your home that I had lived in for eight years.

And I kid you not, I woke up at three o'clock in the morning and God was like, you gotta sell your house. And I had felt it months prior, but I wouldn't listen. And then I was put in a position where like, I just had to, I remember having the worst anxiety and I was cringing, I couldn't sleep, I was crying. And it was the best decision I'd ever made, cleansing myself of all of that.

And I met my boyfriend on set. He, I don't remember meeting him, he said he does, but he said he knew just from looking at my headshot. And he was like, who is that? And I think some people were like, don't move the actress. Which whatever. But yeah, he started talking to me pretty immediately on set. And I didn't really notice it. Because again, I just wasn't mentally there. I was just trying to do a good job. And I had so much stress on myself that no one else put me in, of like being funny or just even, you know, at the time I was 29 years old

and I was playing 18. So I was like, I need to look young and I need to act young and everyone else is young. It was just like unnecessary pressure. I just put on myself and he just knew and was like two weeks into filming. He invited me to Catalina Island to celebrate his birthday. And it was just me and I was like,

no, I don't know, you might kill me. And I was like, yeah, he was like, why not? And I'm like, I don't know you. I'm not about to get on a boat with you to go to some island. That's like weird. And I was really shocked because my sister would never usually like anyone. I was on that push day.

I went at launch. I was just a brat, the minute I got there, I was like, I get seasick just so you know. And I was like, well, I'm here, but I don't wanna be here just so you know. Like I was just so mean, but he was just so like persistent about it and we actually ended up having a really good time. And then I ghosted him as much as I could

because we were working together for like, I'm one, I swear, I ghosted him for a month. I would see him at work and he was like trying to be sweet like you're so beautiful. I'm like stop talking to me like I'm you're doing the most right now. And basically like we're a year in and we're good. But what I was talking about earlier is like he was somewhere where I just wasn't yet and I wanted to take my time. And I was so good about rushing into relationships

and after the first date being like, what are we, I didn't understand casual dating. Yeah. You know, kind of like they do on the bachelor where they date multiple girls or guys at a time. I just didn't know how to do that. So if I went on a date with you, I'm like, okay, cool. So it went our next date.

And if I went on date with someone else, I think I did it one time where I was like dating a couple guys and it just backfired on me and I was like, I can't, I don't understand how people do this and it's okay, like I don't get it. So, with him, I just was like, all right, let me just take it really slow. We went to Catalina, but I'm just not there. He called me. He actually called, not text, he I was like, what do you what do you want? Like I'm not here right now and He just kept pursuing which is crazy because everything that I wanted in a guy He was doing and I was rejecting it because I wasn't used to it

I was so used to being ghosted or being hit up late at night you up or you know being a secret or Just all the toxic things that you don't want, I was so used to that and he wasn't doing it and so I was rejecting it and I didn't want it. And then it took about seven months for me to get to where we're at now, even though I'd been posting about him sooner because I was new that I wanted

to be with him, but I just was still kind of hesitant because I was just scared. And I learned that like, yeah, it's definitely a choice. It's definitely a choice to work through things with someone and he chose every day to keep choosing me even though I was acting like a brat. But what was it more than the persistence? Because I'm sure people have been persistent with you before.

And that's sometimes not enough or was that? It was just different. I just could not let him go for some reason. Like as much as I tried, I would still pick up his phone call or I would text him like you haven't called me today. It was just different. I think also the fact that my sister is not having met him or so supportive of it. Also Yara Sheehee, I blame her and her mother because they talked him up and they were like, you know, she doesn't do this. I'm like, yes, he does. I'm an actress. He's in the crew. I'm sure there's plenty of other actors like him now. And so I think finding out

that this was out of character for him was what made me be like, oh, you might be a little different. And this is how he got me to hang out with him after Catalina. After Catalina. He came up to me one day on set and said, can I come to church with you? What am I saying? No. No, you don't have come to church. You can I come to church with you? What am I saying? No. No, you know I've come to church. You can't come to church. So, it's smooth. Oh, nice. That's amazing. I can't wait to meet him now. Yeah, he's great. I love it.

And now if you read Francis' messages, that's about him on Instagram. It's so different. He's adorable. Thanks. That's all. But it's nice to see. I just love, I'm so glad you shared that because I love how you didn't run into something

rushing to something when you didn't feel ready. At the same time, you know, amazing props to him, actually waiting, sticking around, being patient, not wishing it. And then actually saying like, yeah, this is working for me. Right. Whereas today I find like, it's, I do see a lot of, okay, not watching it. Yeah. And then actually saying, yeah, this is working for me. Right. Whereas today I find like, I do see a lot of, okay, let's talk about this because you could say it from your perspective.

I do see a lot of this today. A lot of guys are trying to do everything nicely and well and and, you know, whatever they're trying to do, they're trying to like, wind and dine and day and all the rest of it. But a lot of girls are like resisting. Because we're not used to it. Right, okay.

So tell us a bit about that. Like, is that, if someone did that same scenario, what signs should baby looking for? As a female or as a male? As a female. As a female? You know, I think where I was, I was at a point where I was just tired

of toxic relationships. And it was really necessary for me to take that break for a year and a half. So it was a choice. And if you're ready to break that cycle and you know, you want a relationship and you don't understand why you're single and you don't understand what's not working, take a year, and which might sound like a long time, but it took me a year and a half, but take a year, take six months, whatever, just to yourself. Because unless you step away from whatever is keeping you in that darkness, you're never going to be able to see the light. So it's like, you know, your body, when you start eating healthy, and you're so used to eating fast

food, your body adjusts to eating fast food. But when you start going through detox, you going through a lot of pain, your stomach hurts, you're releasing a lot of things. And then let's say you eat clean for about a month. If you even touch a french pain, your stomach hurts, you're releasing a lot of things. And then let's say you eat clean for about a month, if you even touch a french fry, your stomach starts to hurt because you've cleansed it so much that you're not even used to that toxic foods and oils anymore, your body's like rejecting it. So I think in life and period, you have to do that,

where you kind of have to step away and take that out of your vision. And so you can kind of clear your mind, be more about yourself. And then when you step back into it, you have more of a clearer vision of who you are and what you're looking for. Does that make sense? Yeah, it makes perfect sense. When you rank a book. Oh, God. No, Jenny, I'm not, I'm not necessarily like it makes perfect sense. It's the same with any sort of diet. And what signs you guys be looking for?

If they're being really persistent, they really like a girl, they're really making the effort, but she's resisting and pushing back, what should they really be doing and what signals should they be looking for? I guess the signal with me, I mean, that's hard. I think really understanding where they are in life. The best thing you can do is be their friend. That's awesome. It's beautiful here.

I love it. I've even been so open and honest. It really helps the conversation. I don't think I ever really have. I'm starting to more so this year because I've just been through such crazy experiences and I feel like people really need to learn it just like I value from it when I go to church because, you know, pastors, they pour their own life out as they're also teaching the Bible.

I think it's important for us, especially given the platform that I've been given to kind of speak out about it. And it really does make me feel good when girls come up to me or people comment on Instagram that like it really kind of helped their day a little bit. And I think that's what it's about at the end of the day, it's just kind of giving back. And I've been growing day a little bit. And I think that's what it's about at the end of the day, is just kind of giving back and helping grow in this crazy little life.

So it seems like relationship has been an area where you've really learned a lot about yourself. Yeah. Work has to, in terms of the incredible work that you're doing, which you spoke about earlier. Has there been any other area of your life that's exciting you or something new that you're trying to learn right now or something that's's fascinating you that hasn't been around before. Like what, there's so many things. Okay, let's start with activism. Let's start with the thing that you're being an activist for. Something that you're starting up for.

Something that you're really passionate about. Right, obviously I'm super passionate about the Latino community right now, which is why I'm really excited to bring the Mendes story to life. And then I wasn't so outspoken about my culture. I mean, I was like, I'm Latina, I'm proud or whatever, but I've had some people come up to me being like,

thank you for talking a lot more. And I was like, I had to be honest. I was just scared before because I don't want to complain so much about being Latina, not being able to work. Because I've been very fortunate that about being Latina and not being able to work because you know I've been very fortunate that I am Latina and I have been work been able to work in Hollywood and and it has been difficult but I also wanted to praise the people

that gave me an opportunity and also I didn't want to complain without having a solution. Someone challenged me in that one day like okay if you're complaining about this what's your solution. So now I'm more open to talking about it. And I've, because I've gone through, I guess, sort of a change within myself, I wasn't so angry anymore, and I've learned to have a lot more grace in communicating and stuff like that. And obviously being a voice for those who don't have a voice, being a first-generation Mexican-owned-hunter in American, just kind of speaking up out about, you know, what we're kind of going through and how we do bring value into America as some people might think we don't.

Yeah, and I'm sure you're getting a lot of positive feedback and support. Yeah, yeah, it's been crazy. It's been really amazing. The feedback, the support, how, you know, a lot of other fellow Latinos are like, thank you for finally speaking up. Which I'm glad that I waited because I'll talk about this and it coincides with that. My kidney donation, for example, many people have been, have told me, why don't you speak more about that? Why aren't you an activist on organ. And to me, my responses, it's something that I personally went through,

it was a personal choice. It just happened to be very public because of who I gave it to. But I want to be able to talk about it when I'm ready. And I don't want to feel forced just because I have a platform, because then what I'm saying is not genuine, it's not sincere,

and it's still a lifestyle that I'm adjusting to. Also, again, it was a personal choice, and I understand my platform, but I still need to personally understand why I made that choice and how I feel about it and kind of educate myself more before going out and talking about it. And there's just so much pressure put on celebrities where it's like, well, you're done this and you've gone through that. So you need to talk about it and say, no, we, I don't, I really don't. I mean, I, I will at some point, but in my own time, when I have the right words, and it sounds genuine and not like, I'm a robot and somewhere in which feeding me these lines. And because people can tell, especially nowadays, with social media and stuff, it's just so easy to tell what's fake

and what's real and what's paid and what's not paid. That is such a great lesson. Yeah. Now, what you just shared is such a great lesson. They just A about being ready and B about having the right words. Yeah. It's not just a broadcast, it's not like a tweet, it's not just a message.

You're like, yeah, that's what I'm doing right now. Yeah. Because if you've been able to process it, learn from it, reflect on it, think about like what you said, like you were just adjusting to a new lifestyle. Yeah. And so when you're transitioning, it's very hard to articulate how you feel.

Yeah, exactly. Explain how you feel. And so many people are being forced to just talk about it. Yeah. Popularity, et cetera, and just breaks you through. And people start talking about you a bit more. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

And same with growing up, Alatina, and now working in Hollywood, I didn't understand. I needed the right words. I hadn't gone through enough struggle to really understand until recently, because my dad helped me understand that I can do it. And most people don't have the advantage.

So I needed to go through my own Hollywood experience to be able to sit here and be like, all right, here's the deal. Yeah. Yeah, I love that. Thank you for sharing that. I think everyone listening, that's like a huge, huge takeaway. I mean, there's been so many takeaways from already from our conversation, but that's a huge one.

Just like being ready, going through the process, doing the work, going through the journey. It's not easy. Doing the work is probably the hardest part. It's the hardest part. Being in college, studying for the final, it's the hardest part is studying. And then once you're done, it's like, yeah. And then comes life.

And then comes life. And then comes other things. And then comes other challenges. One thing my therapist said, and she keeps repeating it to me until it finally hit me, was nothing in life is fair, nothing in life is logical. The minute you understand that and accept it, you'll understand freedom. And it's very true.

Absolutely. Do you wanna unpack that a bit? It makes sense as it is, but let's unpack it. Yeah, well, what did you get for this? So no, I love it, I absolutely love it. I think I say something similar to myself, but if we take that it. Yeah, well, what did you get for this? So, no, I love it. I absolutely love it. I think I say something similar to myself. But if we take that, nothing in life is fair.

A lot of people take that as negative. So a lot of people hear that and go, oh, well, if life's not fair, then life's not going to do anything for me. I'm going to try because life's not fair, right? Because that makes me, that makes some people, not me, makes people feel like hopeless and helpless and like, oh, life's not fair. Even if I work hard, nothing's going to happen because life's not fair. Because that makes me, that makes some people know me, makes people feel like hopeless and helpless and like, for a life's not fair. Even if I work hard, nothing's gonna happen

because life's not fair, so I'm just gonna sit in bed all day. So let's unpack it from that. Like how do we, how do you understand it in a way that doesn't give you that feeling? Well, I'll speak as an actress, nothing like this fair. Sometimes a person will get a job that I was up for, and I know I work way harder than that person. And I know that I'm a guy who's not fair. Sometimes a person will get a job that I was up for. And I know I work way harder than that person.

And I know that I put more time into studying and this person just got to do it the other day, but because they have more followers, they got the job. That's not fair. And so what I've had to learn that is, yeah, it's not fair, but that also wasn't the job for me. That's the door that wasn't supposed to be open. Another door was supposed to be open. For example, I was on a show and I got recast and I was like, that hell, that's never happened

to me. It was like, I just got fired. Whoa. And it was not fair. I didn't understand. It was a dumbest. I mean, I actually can't even tell you the reason. I don't know because I never got a phone call. I never got any sort of explanation. I could you not, it wasn't fair, but then I'm going to be on Growness right now. So again, like I said, rejection leads to opportunity. So I don't know what happened. Okay, so that person doesn't work as hard. That lifestyle, whatever their choice is, is not my problem.

And if I focus on that, on what isn't fair, then I'm not able to move on with my life. It doesn't mean that you're not going to have another opportunity. It just wasn't that one, which is fine. And that's the hard part is accepting. Okay, it's fine that I didn't get that one. Yeah, yeah. I love that. And that seems to be a recurring theme in your life as well of rejection and the opening.

Oh, that's the only thing this business is, is rejection. Yeah. It's more rejections than positives. I mean, I've been doing the 13 years and my resume You know, I'm grateful for it, but out of the what let's say there's 10 things on my resume I audition for thousands of them and I got nose and I got yeah, you know 10 yeses. Yeah, it's such a numbers game Yeah, like success and failure and breaking through such a numbers game. It's hard.

It's not easy. It is hard. I remember, before I had the made a video, I had this idea that I wanted to share mindful messages, messages that were hopefully going to be empowering and positive and uplifting and I was pitching it around to all these media companies because I never had any background in the media. No one in my family has ever worked in the media. I don't have any network that's ever worked in the media.

I just don't know anyone growing up in London. All my friends and family are like doctors, lawyers and dentists. And so I'm picking this idea out and literally 40 to 50 media companies just said, we're not interested because you have no media background, you have no journalism background, you know. You've never made a video before in your life, despite the fact that I'd studied and taught that for so long. Right. And one thing I always say to people is, you just need one person to say yes, right?

You just need one yes. And we're so worried by like the thousand knows. Yeah, it lady Gaga says that right now, all the time she goes, 100 people will say no to you, you just need that one yes, but also you need that work ethic to keep going so you can get that one yes. And that's what's hard. And then you got to sit back and realize, why am I doing this?

Is it because I want the notoriety for it or is it because I want to help people? Because every job is to help somebody. Yes. It's not just for yourself. Obviously there's reward to it. Like, for example, for us, there are a lot of events and people that we get to meet.

Those are the rewards that we get for doing what we do. Then there's also the other reward of being able to speak for those that can't speak for themselves. And that's where you got to focus on. Yeah, you do that so well. Yeah, you can do that so much. In the 1680s, a feisty opera singer burned down a nunnery and stole away with her secret lover.

In 1810, a pirate queen negotiated her cruiseway to total freedom, with all their loot. During World War II, a flirtatious gambling double agent helped keep D-Day a secret from the Germans. What do these stories have in common? They're all about real women who were left out of your history books. If you're tired of missing out, check out the Womanica podcast, a daily women's history podcast highlighting women you may not have heard of, but definitely should know about. I'm your host Jenny Kaplan, and for me, diving into these stories is the best part of my

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The results don't really matter. It's the figuring out that matters. Kevin Haw. It's not about us as a generation at this point. It's about us trying our best to create change. Lumin's Hamilton. That's for me being taken that moment for yourself each day, being kind to yourself because I think for a long time I wasn't kind to myself. And many, many more. If you're attached to knowing you don't have a capacity to learn. On this podcast you get to hear

the raw real-life stories behind their journeys and the tools they used, the books they read, and the people that made a difference in their lives so that they can make a difference in hours. Listen to on purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Join the journey soon. Hey, it's Debbie Brown. And my podcast deeply well is a soft place to land on your wellness journey.

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Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Big love, namaste. How did you do it though with the rejections? How do you do it in a way where you can observe and judge yourself so you know you need to change? Like, when people, when you're hearing no often, there's one school of thought that's like, yeah, just keep going. But then there's the other school of thought, like, am I getting

no because I also need to grow? Am I hearing no because I also need to change your progress? Right. How have you factored that into your own working career? A lot of honest people in my life. And again, I was just ready to hear it and change and learn it. And kind of talk about the pain I was going through. When I first started working with my manager, he was very transparent with me on how people viewed me. And then I was very transparent with him, like, okay, so this is what I've been going through

and this is why I was acting like this. And I'm not that person anymore. And my words can say it, but my action will say something differently. And so now I just, you know, the nose that I get the rejection that I get, I'm like, I dissected a little bit. It's like, well, let me get feedback. Oh, it was because of this.

Okay, all right, cool. Then I'll know that for next time, rather than just dwelling and being upset. Cause some have been career changers for some people. And I'm like, oh, it's gonna be me. Yeah, that could have been me, but I was too depressed. And honestly, I would, if I would have gotten those jobs that would have changed my career,

I wouldn't be here today. Personally, I probably would have fallen off the deep end somehow, because I wasn't ready for it. And that's when I'm like, okay, God really knows when you're ready for something or not, because I, yeah, some people get in there and not ready for it. Yeah, because I, yeah, some people get in there, not ready for it. Yeah, absolutely.

And it's so much nicer when you can actually have your success when you're able to actually navigate it effectively. Yeah, exactly. Like, to have it when you can really appreciate it, you can acknowledge it, you can experience it without sometimes externally having this success. Yeah. But then internally, you're not even, you're not even actually processing any of that.

Right. I think it came to a point where it wasn't such a priority to me anymore. I remember my boyfriend mixed one of me now, but when we first met, I was like, work comes first, work is number one, and then his family and then we'll fit you in there somewhere. Like I was still like work, work, work, work.

And now I'm like, ah, you know what? I just wanna be able to eat every day and save and have a home. That's all I care about. It's not even so much about getting a job or reaching the capacity I want to go to is just about being able to survive. And because I've changed my mentality, just all this work keeps coming. And what I was so focused on it. And to where I could appreciate it more and just kind of sit back and take my time with it. That's such a beautiful place to be. Yeah, I mean, again, it goes with relationships.

When you're not looking for it, it comes to you. When you're not looking for that job, somehow it comes to you. And my boyfriend's really big about that. He's very good about manifesting things and then they just happen. And I'm like, please teach me that gift. Yeah.

Like he just quit a job recently and he was like, I don't know what's gonna happen. He's freelancing and his phone hasn't stopped ringing. And it's amazing to me. Yeah, so like, because so many people talk about manifesting as having a clear vision, knowing what you want, knowing, and I have my own thoughts on this.

But so many people talk about manifesting as having a clear vision. Whereas when you're talking about you actually saying, when you're not chasing something, that's when people are attracting it. Yeah. How have you thought that whole philosophy through it? I think it boils down to faith being able to see the things that are not yet in front of you. So I'll go back to God.

It's like, you know, for those that are believers, it's like, you know, that God's always with you. You don't ever physically see Him. You don't ever, you know, you don't have them by your side, but you know that it's there. And you know that it's there. And you know that it's there. So even like when you have a dream in your heart, and I truly believe that God's not going to put a dream in your heart if it's not going to happen, but you have to go through the growth of it. And that's the part that like people don't want to do. Yeah. My pastor said this one time. He was like, in a crazy how one day you're like, all right, I'm going gonna follow God and I've changed

and I'm a new person and everything's gonna be great and that's when you go through the worst time of your life, you go through hell after you say yes and you're mad, you're like, it's been a month, I go to church every week, I pray every the Bible wise, everything's so bad. And you know, you talk, he talks about puzzle and how you got to break the puzzle and then kind of put it back together. It's like you want God to fix

everything in a week when you've been messing up your life for 25 years. And you expect it to be just good right away. So I think it all just comes to faith and just having the faith that everything's going to fall in place the way that you're supposed to. So I think with manifesting, it's so much more of just believing in it and letting it happen organically the way it's supposed to and not trying to force things. Because when you try to force something, that's when it's bad or wrong or you just feel terrible about yourself.

Like when you try to force a relationship that you clearly know you're not supposed to be in, and that you're depressed for five years. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, no, I remember when I trained as a monk, so many of our teachings were in the same vein around it, when you pray for humility, your ego gets crushed. Yeah.

So you're praying for humility. I want to be humble. I know that it's important to have humility, and not have pride. And the next thing, you know, everyone's like blown up your comments. So like everyone's coming up to you and your ego's getting crushed. Yeah.

And so when you're praying for strength, you're sent challenges. Yeah. Right. When you pray for strength, you have to be strengthened. And that's going to take challenges and going through pain. Or what? You don't just get strength. You don't just one day wake up with more strength.

Or when you pray for patients. Yeah. And then your patients gets real tested. Yeah, exactly. Fliinely trusting that things are going to be okay, just like we blindly trust an Uber driver to get us safe to with our destination. Yeah, I remember one of my friends actually told me

that he was like, I don't pray for that stuff because I know it's going to bring me back. I know. He was like, I'm going to pray for patients. Even pastors say, don't pray for patients. That's the worst prayer you're going to give. Yeah, all right, yeah. You really push.

Oh, really, really push. But the other side looks great. Yeah. But everything takes time. Yeah, absolutely. And the beautiful thing about getting that ability or that characteristic or that quality or whatever we want to call it, that virtue

is that it stays with you. You now have that in your toolkit. Yeah. Like once you've experienced patients or lived with patients, you can now use that again in the future. It's not like you lose it. Yeah, one of the things that I value more is grace.

Once I understood grace, I've definitely had a lot more patience with people because I understand grace. And I'm glad that I went through the struggle of understanding what grace really was. So I can actually walk the way that I have been walking, just from understanding that. Can you define and share,

you're understanding who grace for anyone who doesn't? Oh God, it's so hard to define it. I did that. I think just having a patience with people, like for example, there are so many mistakes that I've made in my life as we all have growing pains or whatever, and God had the grace to still love me through it and take me to the

side. I know there's so many people are like, I can't walk in church until I'm good with God because if I walk in there, I'm going to turn into flames. I'm like, no, that's like the best time to actually walk in a church because that's when the angels are like, oh, Lalu, yes. And I think when I encounter people that probably don't have the best spirit or the best attitude, I just have a grace for them because I'm like, you know what, I don't know the pain that they're going through.

I don't know the darkness that they're in. It might look good on the outside, but something might be going on the inside. And I just, I'm just a little more patient and just like, okay, I mean, sometimes people do press my buttons and I do snap. I am human. But I'm very good about going back and be like, yo, what's going on? Because I didn't like the right way I reacted to this and I reacted to this

because you pushed me this way, but like, I'm sure something deeper is going on. Yeah. No, it's beautiful. Well, explained. Yeah. Yeah. No, we've always called it causeless mercy. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes it's causeless. Like you're feeling that love and kind and support. And then you start seeing it in the tough times Yeah, and you start seeing it even through Yeah, you see yourself being held when you're like oh my god. I can't see anything right now Yeah, exactly. I mean, this is so silly, but I watch wrestling

WWE and a wrestler No way still. Yes, I love it. Well, there was a wrestler that every time he came out on stage He got booed. He got booed. And people were mad because he didn't do a lot of stuff outside of the ring, like interviews or meeting greats, he didn't do anything. And he just came out in the ring a couple of months ago now. And he said, I've been battling leukemia for the last 11 years. And I, it's back. And I can't fight anymore, so he has to go get treatment again. And it really just told me and showed me,

like you don't know what people are going through. So you're, he's getting booed on stage. And people are saying he's the worst champion. I don't understand why he's where he's at, but it's like, I think, his name is Roman Reigns. I think he just had a deeper understanding of what life really meant. And he wasn't in the ring. He wanted to spend time with his family instead of trying to grow his fame even more than what it already was. And that put it more into perspective again, like everyone is going through something. You just don't know what it is. And

then came to that where people are like, oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know. Yeah, exactly. And even the other side, like I have a, I have a father figure and a spiritual mentor back in London who has been giving himself, like a pastor, like giving himself to people his whole life, like serving the community and thousands and thousands and thousands of people. And recently, he got diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer. Oh, wow. And it was just like, he never, ever showed that he was struggling because he was able to like wake up early and serve his whole life and give himself. And it's almost like a lot of people took that for granted as well. Yeah. And kind of overused it sometimes.

You know what I mean? Like when someone's really compassionate and kind and you're just like, oh yeah, they're like Superman. Like, it's like no one ever loves Superman or cares for Superman or Batman or Wonder Woman or whatever it is like that person is almost just living for others. Yeah, but everyone as humans has a limit Yeah, and then people get mad at him. Yeah When I got back from life size one my castmates went through that he had a conversation with me a few weeks ago And he was like, you know, I was really upset because I

Had a hard time when I came home. We will filming in Atlanta for a month and we had a consistent job every day. I was fortunate enough and I'm grateful. And this is the first time this has happened to me in 13 years when I got back home. I had another job, but most of my classmates had to start auditioning again and we're auditioning while we were filming. So it's not even like you can enjoy a job. You have to already think, okay, what am I gonna do after this? So he was like, you know,

I went through kind of a depression a little bit and I was really upset that my friends didn't reach out to me and didn't check on me to say, are you okay? How are you feeling? And, you know, I have sort of a resentment and I said to him, I'm like, are they actors? Because they're probably trying to figure out

their own life right now. You just got back from a job. They weren't working that whole time. So I instead of being frustrated, just ask them, are you okay? This is how you usually act towards me. I'm not getting that from you, what's going on. And you know, you didn't think about it that way, which we all do. We're so used to. Even me, like sometimes I don't hear from my pastor,

not understanding that, oh, he has to help run a church. I'm not his only priority. Everyone's going through stuff. Any of us, two kids, you know? Yeah, and I always remind people, I'm just like, you know, if you're struggling to see the support from others, just realize that most of those people can't support themselves.

Exactly. Just taking care of yourself is such hard work. Such hard work, yeah. And yeah, just recognizing everyone has limits, everyone has boundaries. And sometimes you support so many other people that you don't find the time for yourself and then you're running on empty. Yeah, and then you have nothing to give.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, no, super important. Okay, I'm going to ask you my last five big questions. Okay. Oh no, it's not scary. It's just last five minutes, last five questions. I always do in every episode of every podcast. I want to ask you what's the most meaningful thing you're working on in 2019?

Mendes versus Wesman, sir. Okay, awesome. I'm gonna see in 2019? No, no, we're not gonna see. No, probably not. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I'm really focusing on finding the writer to write the script because I really want it true.

True to the story. What are you doing for the most fun in 2019? The most fun in 2019. Well, I just moved in with my boyfriend. So that's just a new chapter that I think will be really fun and decorating our house. Oh, very excellent. Yeah, we're going to do some tips on when a shop. Yeah, well, I'm looking at all of your stuff like, oh, this is cute. This is great. Nice. I'm glad that makes me feel better. Yeah, and, I'm looking at all of your stuff. Like, oh, this is cute. This is great. Nice. I'm glad that makes me feel better. Yeah. And I think a lot more traveling.

I haven't traveled at all. Oh, not anywhere specific. We really want to go to Thailand. We talked about India. We should go together. I would love that. That would be amazing. You would be the best tour guide.

That would be amazing. Oh, I'm going to tell him. She talked about that, yeah. So, I mean, this actually brings up another topic, which I know we have five minutes. But no, no, we don't have. We've got loads of time. OK. Well, I mean, this actually brings up another topic, which I know we have five minutes, but. No, no, we don't have, we've got loads of time. Okay. Well, I've talked about love for her,

I didn't even know how funny. I was, we've got loads of time. Oh, we've got to, I just want to get you out on time. Okay. I've got time. Yeah. 2019, we want to travel more. I'm 30 years old and I have not traveled much,

and I'm embarrassed to say that because I was, I suffer from fomo, if you're missing out. And I was too scared to leave town because I was scared suffer from fomo fear of missing out and I was too scared to leave town because I was scared of missing out on audition. I was scared of missing out on a possible job or what if or a party or the scattering and I really and I'm sad because I'm 30 and I haven't done anything. I'm like I have nothing to talk about and then sometimes I'll do interviews. I'd be like what's your favorite place to travel to and I don't have one. If I've traveled, it's for work. So I'm really, um, 2019, I'm looking forward to like saying, okay, I'm going to travel and this is, this is what I'm doing. And I know there's

certain actors that have missed out on really big movie roles because they traveled, but I'm, I think they're grateful that they took the time for themselves rather than, you know, getting that job opportunity Which is a career changer, but they also have other opportunities to have career changers. Yeah, and you're not old I'm not I'm not but I also I hate that I haven't traveled like I've had the means to and I just happened What's great now you're just gonna make up for it. Yeah, yeah, and I have someone to do it with I have somebody now, which is which is a beautiful thing to have yeah Like as in it's exciting that all those I don't know before,

but all those times when you could have traveled, it's kind of more meaningful now. It is more meaningful now, but even before I was so jealous, some friends would go to Hawaii by themselves, just to do yoga. And I was like, oh, I wish I could,

I just could never leave. Right. And I was just so used to being stuck in my bubble. I think part of it was my childhood because my dad didn't let us do anything. So we were just stuck in our house and I think I it breaking free from that was really hard for me. Like I can't sleep over people's houses. I was never allowed to do any sleepover. So I I'm like, no, I'll dry pump all over. It's fine.

I I have to be in my bed. Oh wow. Yeah. So we're gonna break that one. Oh, I don't know. I like my bed. That one you know, that one you know, someone's gonna have to like transfer your bed. Yeah, I don't know. I like my bed. That one you like. That one you like. Someone's gonna have to like transfer your bed. Yeah, I can't sleep over anyone's house. Wow. Yeah. Cool. Okay. Nice.

Okay. Third big question was around. So we asked you the most meaningful, the most fun. The third one I was actually gonna ask earlier, you mentioned a book. Do you read a lot? I tried to. I haven't read as much as I've been wanting to

because I mostly read scripts. From my favorite book right now is called Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. It's a Christian book. I've read that one four times. Life changing. Redeeming love. Yeah. Yeah, it's about a story in the Bible.

And it's, oh gosh, I can't remember their characters. I remember their book characters not in the Bible, but remember about the guy God told to Mary a prostitute. It's that story, but told from her perspective. And I've gotten four different messages from it, because of each time that I've read it at first. The first time I read it, because I was in such a broken place, I thought it was a love story between the two people.

And I was like, oh my God, this is amazing. They fell in love, all this stuff. And then the second time I read it, I was like, oh, this is a love story between her and God, not him. He was just a vehicle in order to get her in a I was like, oh, this is a love story between her and God, not him. He was just the vehicle in order to get her in a relationship with God, which I, I mean, I threw the book. I was like, whoa, and then the third time I read it, there's a small part in the book, and I threw it again. Where this book's in bad condition. Yeah, it is. Where one of the characters was asking her the lead character named as Angel,

did you know you could say no? I threw the book, because I was like, wow, it really, she had a choice to say no, but she didn't know how to. And it was just, I learned a lot from it and it helped me grow a lot as a Christian, reading this book and as a woman. Amazing, thank you.

Yeah. And fourth question, before we get to the fifth, the fourth question. Third in years, in the industry, all of this experience, seeing your family, your father, what's your advice to young creatives, young artists, actors, actresses, musicians? Get used to the word no. And be okay with it. It's a lot of hard work, a lot of hard work, and I think just enjoy the process of it. It's not easy. You're going to have time for you're the lead of a TV show, and

then you don't work for four years. And don't make it your be all-end-all game. Have a hobby, have other things going on. One thing that I wish I did, and I didn't do, and it's still like, you know, something I want to do is I'm going to college because I didn't think I needed to and I let an ex tell me that I shouldn't because why do you need college? It's stupid. You're going to be an actress anywhere you're working as an actress. And so I wish I had other things to fall back on. Like there are other things that I'm very interested in and I, you know, I put a lot

of my energy in it which helps me kind of better myself as an artist. So, have other hobbies. Be okay with knowing. Always study. Rita Moreno told me, say in school, acting school, she goes, I still go to acting school. She's in her 80s. You like always study your craft. Just like a doctor, you want them to study medicine every day and be up to game.

You should study your craft just as much. Yeah, because you're dealing with lives too. Yeah, exactly. I mean, literally you have to really understand human behavior in order to do what we do. Yeah, which you have to really open up your emotions and be vulnerable. Cause the only reason I can cry and queues because I've literally tapped into the pain that I've gone through and I've used it in my art, which is painful.

I love that you said that because I studied human behaviour, a business school, behavioural science was what I focused on and all of my content, all of my videos is made from that perspective. Like that's exactly what I'm trying to tap into whenever I'm making any of, in much smaller way than you are, but in any content that I'm making, that's always my goal to really understand. People. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, you have to. And the fifth question, what did we not talk about that you wish we did that we can talk about next time? Life size two. Wait, when is this coming out? It's coming out. Yeah. This comes out like February, March. Oh, well, already aired. So life size two, I was able to work with Tyra Banks, who

I admired, since I was a little girl on one of my favorite childhood movies. So check that out. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. We've got a bit of time. What time are we going to go? Okay. Yeah, we got a little bit of time. Yeah. Yeah, I, uh, I guess Tyra was really looking for this character for a really long time. A lot of people like to say that I have replaced Lindsay Lohan. I did not replace her. This is a brand new character. Since Aaron February, I can talk about it.

It's known that Eve is a doll and there's a doll for everyone and there's a serial number that's under her foot. So this is a new Eve doll that comes into my life, a broken young woman who kind of just needs that push to grow up and be herself and you know go through that pain and kind of grow out of it and Eve helps her through that. And I was very honored that Tyra came across my tape somehow. Like I did not audition for it. And mind you, I talked about wanting to do a movie before shooting season two of Grownish. And I got a phone call randomly one day as I'm getting my nails done.

Like, hey, life size two, are you interested? I was like, what? They're doing another one. One, I was excited. But two, I was like, what part? And it was the lead with Tyra Banks. I was like, what? They're doing another one. One, I was excited. But two, I was like, what part? And it was the lead with Tyra Banks. I was like, what? What is my life right now?

Are you joking me? I would have never thought when I was 12 years old watching this movie. So it was really fun working with her and getting to know her and just being in Atlanta and now being part of my favorite childhood movies. Crazy to me. Amazing.

Huge fan. And also, it's the beauty of everything we just talked about now like full circle. It's one looking for it. You didn't audition for it. No, I wasn't looking for it at all. And it's crazy because one of our producers worked on Dear White People. She is one of the producers of Dear White People and I shot about three episodes. And the very first director I worked with on Dear White People, his name is Steven Sashita. I remember our first day, he just has amazing energy. I was like, you're one of my favorite people.

And my castmates made me feel like I was so weird for saying that, and it was just like too much too soon. And then he was a director on Grownish and then he directed Life Size 2. And I was like, I knew it! Like there was something there, and everyone thought it was weird, but I just knew that there was like, he was Life Size 2. And I was like, I knew it! Like, there was something there, and everyone thought it was weird, but I just knew that there was like,

he was just so special. Yeah, amazing. I met Tara for the first time recently. Oh, really? Where? I was at this Continuum Conference, which was a social media creator and influencer conference, just a small collection of us,

and she was invited, and she keynoted, and she was hired for us. Oh, she's amazing as a boss. She's got an incredible presence, and I think we forget how huge, and she keynoted and she's amazing. She's got an incredible presence. I think we forget how huge, like she just has an understanding and knowledge on so many different things.

Like she's so much. She works really hard and all her success is so well-deserved and she's very plugged into everything. She was so plugged into our movie and really wanting it to, well, because I'm an old fan, I grew up with it. So she really wanted to cater to us, OG fans, and I really appreciated that.

Amazing, well, all the success for them. So excited for it as well. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, we'll see what happens. I'm not so focused on like, I want to do this. I want to do that. I know where I want to go, and I want to where I want to be.

And I'm just kind of letting God take the right for it. So did I know I was going to be a voice for the Latin community? No, never never thought. But you know, that's where I'm heading. And I've been very passionate about it and I really, I really like it. Amazing. I love it. Thank you so much. Thank you. This was fun. I know so much.

Your energy is awesome and I'm excited. I always feel like these interviews are great because even if I've never spoken to someone, you get to learn about each other so quickly as I was short for it of time. I'm excited to continue our friendship. Yeah, same. Exciting to meet Christian and just so grateful that you came. Thank you so much. I'm excited to do yoga with your wives and take boxing. Absolutely. Yeah. But thank you so much. No, thank you. This is great. This is great. All right. Thank you. Great, this is great. All right, thank you. Amazing.

Thank you. Thank you so much for listening through to the end of that episode. I hope you're going to share this all across social media. Let people know that you're subscribed to on purpose. Let me know. Post it. Tell me what a difference it's making in your life. I would love to see your thoughts.

I can't wait for this incredibly conscious community we're creating of purposeful people. You're now a part of the tribe, a part of the squad. Thank you for being here. I can't wait to share the next episode with you. Regardless of the progress you've made in life, I believe we could all benefit from wisdom on handling common problems, making life seem more manageable, now more than ever. I'm Eric Zimmer, host of the One-E-Feet podcast, where I interview thought-provoking guests who offer practical wisdom that you can use to create the life you want. 25 years ago, I was homeless and addicted to heroin. I've made my way through addiction recovery, learned to navigate my clinical depression, and figured out how

to build a fulfilling life. The One-You-Feet has over 30 million downloads and was named one of the best podcasts by Apple podcasts. Oprah Magazine named this is one of 22 podcasts to help you live your best life. You always have the chance to begin again and feed the best of yourself. The trap is the person often thinks they'll act once they feel better. It's actually the other way around. I have had over 500 conversations with world-renowned experts

and yet I'm still striving to be better. Join me on this journey. Listen to the one you feed on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our 20s often seen as this golden decade, our time to be carefree, make mistakes, and figure out our lives. But what can psychology teach us about this time?

I'm Gemma Speg, the host of the Psychology of Your 20s. Each week we take a deep dive into a unique aspect of our 20s, from career anxiety, mental health, heartbreak, money, and much more to explore the science behind our experiences. The Psychology of Your 20s hosted by me, Gemma Speg. Listen now on the iHot Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. What do a flirtatious gambling double agent in World War II? An opera singer who burned down an honorary to kidnap her lover and a pirate queen who walked free with all of her spoils, haven't come in.

They're all real women who were left out of your history books. You can hear these stories and more on the Womanica podcast. Check it out on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. for you, blessed.