On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Jay’s Must-Listens: 7 Transformative Lessons to Build Confidence And Real Self Worth (Ft. Kobe Bryant & Kendall Jenner)

Episode Date: April 9, 2025

Do you ever pretend to be confident when you’re not? When do you feel most confident? What if real confidence isn’t loud or visible—but built quietly in the moments no one else sees? In today's Jay's Must-Listens, Jay explores the powerful theme of inner confidence—not the kind rooted in outside validation or achievements, but the kind built slowly through learning to trust yourself, commitment to showing up, and living with purpose. Throughout the episode, Jay draws from powerful moments with past guests and their helpful insights. He shares a moment from his conversation with Kendall Jenner, where she opened up about experiencing anxiety and how even people who appear confident outwardly are often battling internal struggles. Jay also references insights from Lisa Bilyeu, who spoke about repetition and how confidence is built by proving to yourself—again and again—that you can do hard things.  In this episode, you'll learn: How to Build Confidence Without External Validation How to Create a Daily Confidence-Boosting Practice How to Turn Self-Doubt into Self-Discipline How to Build Confidence Through Repetition and Consistency How to Anchor Yourself with Purpose, Not Praise How to Redefine Confidence as Clarity and Alignment This episode is both a motivational reset and a practical guide for anyone who’s ready to stop doubting themselves or seeking outside validation and start rooting their confidence in something far more lasting: their own truth. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty. Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here. Join Jay for his first ever, On Purpose Live Tour! Tickets are on sale now. Hope to see you there!  What We Discuss:  00:00 Intro  01:43 Find What Makes You Happy and Do That 04:44 How To Start Believing in Yourself 09:34 Doing Things that Scare You is Worth the Risk 13:26 Genuine Love Should Boost Your Confidence 16:41 Staying Confident When Your Body Is Changing  18:52 How Stress Can Manifest In Your Body  26:32 Don’t Wait To Take Action  29:59 This is How You Build Real Confidence From Within 33:33 The Song I Made Just For Me That Changed Everything 35:28 Healing and Maturing Through Motherhood  36:55 Every Day Is A Chance For Progress 39:01 Stay Consistent In Improving YourselfSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey sis, it's Dr. Joy from Therapy for Black Girls. We've had 400 episodes of conversations, growth and healing. So we're celebrating. Join us for a special episode with internationally recognized yogi, Chelsea Jackson Roberts, as she shares wisdom on mindfulness, movement, and motherhood. I waited later to have children and I still have exactly what I knew that I wanted. You don't want to miss this special episode. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, you guys, I'm Catherine Legg. I'm a racing driver who's literally driven everything with four wheels across the planet. And I've got a new podcast. It's called Throttle Therapy. This season, I'm gearing up to make history,

competing in some of the world's most notorious racing events. Tune into my new podcast, Throttle Therapy, with Catherine Legg, an iHeart women's sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olaya, host of the podcast, Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good.

You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smashed it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Krumz on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The number one health and wellness podcast. Jay Shetty.

Jay Shetty. The one, the only Jay Shetty. Welcome back to On Purpose. Today we're talking about something that impacts every decision we make. Our confidence and self-worth. We all struggle with it at some point. Questioning if we're good enough, smart enough or capable enough. Maybe it started in childhood.

Or maybe over time life's challenges have made us second-guess ourselves. But here's the truth. Confidence isn't something you're just born with. It's something you build. And self-worth isn't just about your accomplishments or success. It's about how you see yourself at your core. In this episode, I've gathered insights from some of the best minds to help you quiet self-doubt, recognize your true value and step into the

confidence that's already in you. Because when you truly believe in yourself, everything changes. So often when we're searching for confidence and self-worth, it's easy to feel pressured to try every new trend or practice, as if there's a perfect formula for feeling secure in ourselves. But real confidence isn't about following the crowd. It's about tuning out the noise and figuring out what truly works for you. Kendall Jenner knows that pressure all too well. Having spent most of her life in the public eye, she's had to learn how to protect her peace,

set boundaries and find joy in the simple things. In this conversation, she opens up about her journey to staying grounded and true to herself. Let's get into it. Had had a lot of people coming to me telling me about meditation and how it changed their life and therapy and so many different things. And I was a bit overwhelmed because I was like, oh my God,

what if this is going to suit me? I think it's a very personal experience. I think everybody has a very different version of all of that stuff. And so it was a little overwhelming. So I think I really just took the time to be off for a second. It was even the little things. It was like being able to go to my friend's birthday party, which I wouldn't have been able to go to before

because I was working a lot. I love hearing that because I think it is those simple things like giving yourself that space, whatever it is that you needed to do, when you needed it. And like you said, sometimes it's like, that's when all the subscribe buttons come up in front of you and it's like, try this and try this.

And it's like, well, no, no, no, let me just take my time. It was also now that I think about it, 23 I'm 26 I've had my horse for so around that time is when I bought the horse that I have now who is my like I jump her and I like how I have two other horses but they're like retired so I don't really ride them the same way I ride her so yeah yeah, I guess it was around that time too, that I was like, I'm going to do this because I love this and like, I want to get back into it. And this is what I've loved my whole life. So so it was around that time that I feel like all of that started happening. And I bought my horse and I like started taking more time

for things that made me really happy. Yeah. What I what I'm noticing in you and observing or at least from just these. No, in a good way. In a good way. It's all good. I was just saying, it's like, it feels like no matter what's happening in your orbit, there's this pillar of belief that it's important to be happy. Yeah.

Like, you know, that's like this core center belief in your life, where it's like, it's important to be happy. It's important to be happy. That has to be the goal. For sure. And, you know, it's not always easy. We live in such an interesting industry. And in such an interesting time with social media that it can be very hard. Sometimes you can fall

victim to so many things that don't serve you and that don't make you happy. If your happiness depends on the actions of others, you're at mercy of things that you can't control. And that's never where I want to be. So I always want to live in like, me and my therapist talk about like my higher goddess, my higher self. Like I always want to live there knowing that, you know, when I'm there, you can't take that away from me. That's mine. And no matter what, you can disagree with me. You can agree with me. That's not going my, I'm not changing. I'm not shifting. I'm here. I'm in my higher goddess. So I kind of, I always live by like holding my happiness and not letting anyone else affect it.

And though I fall victim to it at times, as we all probably do, I strive every day to live in that place. What are some of the qualities of your higher goddess, that kind of avatar? She's awesome. Like I said, I don't love a pity party. I also like, you know, sometimes it feels weird to like say good things about yourself.

But I've also learned a lot about talking to myself and a lot about looking in the mirror and being like, you're great. You're gorgeous. You're amazing. You're loyal. You're positive. You're so many like I love words of affirmation. I love just sitting there and reassuring myself

of who I am because that's another thing for me. There's so many false narratives about me, about all of us, I'm sure. So many people think they have you figured out when they don't even know the half of it. So sitting there and being like, you get frustrated sometimes. It could feel really unfair.

You could be reading something that someone is saying about you or hearing something that someone's saying about you and being like, that is so unfair because that's not who I am. And that really gets to me sometimes and that really sucks. But then looking at myself in the mirror and being like, but I know who I am. And that's all.

Why does anything else matter? And my friends know who I am. And my family knows who I am. My dog know who I am. And that's all. Why does anything else matter? And my friends know who I am and my family knows who I am. My dog knows who I am. My horse knows who I am. Like, why does any of everything else is just noise? I do this exercise. I don't think I've shared this before, but I do this exercise with some of my clients where we'll go on a walk and we'll be on a hike wherever we are. And I'll ask them what they think a piece of, you know, maybe there's a little leaf or maybe there's some flower or something that looks a little unique on the path. And I'll say, what do you think that feels like? And what do you think it would feel like if you picked it up in

your hand? And they'll be like, Oh, it looks really rough. And like it might scratch me. And like, it looks like a bit, you know, like uneven or whatever, and it looks kind of hard and strong. And then I'll ask them to pick it up. And nine times out of 10, it's completely different. They'll pick it up and it'll just dissolve in their hands, or they'll turn it over and the color's really soft. Sorry, the shape's really soft and the color's totally different on the other side.

And I do that exercise to help us realize just how multifaceted humans are. Today, I've got to meet you and obviously we're spending a lot of deep, intimate, vulnerable time together so you learn faster about someone. But if someone only follows someone on social media or only sees someone at an event or only sees one interview, it's so easy to create such a singular view of someone. And I think, and I want to say this because I really think we all feel it. I don't think anyone wants to be seen in a singular way.

If you had to choose one word that had to be you for the rest of your life, I don't think anyone wants that. I think we all know that we're messy and complex and different. Of course. But we like to put someone else in a box, whoever that may be, because it's easier than to live life and say, okay, well, that's person's A, B.

Yeah, so there's this beautiful piece of wisdom that I always share from Charles Horton Cooley, and he wrote this in 1890, I think it was, which just shows how true this has been for such a long time and obviously long before that as well. And he said, the challenge today is I'm not what I think I am. I'm not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am. And we'll let that blow everyone's mind. It gives me chills every time I say it. Charles Horton Cooley said, the challenge today is I'm not what I think I am.

I'm not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am. And what he's trying to say is that we live in a perception of a perception of ourselves. So if I think you think I'm smart, then I allow myself to feel smart. Right. It's like we need that validation.

Or if I think you think I'm not smart, then I feel hurt. Yeah. And the challenge is, I don't know what you're thinking at all, especially outside in the world. And so I find that what you're saying around like, well, what do I think about myself? Like, how do I feel about myself? How do the people that actually know me feel about me? I think that's really empowering. There are times in life when we feel disconnected from ourselves. As if we've lost our sense of who we are. It can happen after a big life change,

the grind of a demanding job, or even just getting stuck in the routine of everyday life. For Vanessa Hudgens, that moment came after filming a series of emotionally intense movies. She found herself questioning her identity and searching for a way to reconnect. Instead of staying in that uncertainty, she took a leap, one that felt scary, but ultimately led her back to herself.

Let's dive into how stepping outside her comfort zone helped her rediscover her confidence and self-worth. I feel like my first solo trip was when I was like, it was right after I did a stint of like really heavy emotionally demanding movies. I think Gimme Shelter was the last one of that. And I came home and I genuinely did not know who Vanessa was. I had gotten so off on becoming this other person and genuinely changed my mindset, the way that I looked. I put on 20 pounds, cut off all my hair, like all the

things that made me me were not there anymore. And I was like, I need to do something because I'm like scared. Because I don't know who I am. And I was like, Okay, we're gonna go on a yoga retreat. My my publicist at the time was like, I there's this retreat, they're doing it the four seasons. It was like a practice and I was like, either there's this retreat, they're doing it the four seasons. It was like a practice and I was like, okay, I'm just gonna like go on my own because that scares me. And I was very much in that place of like,

do the things that scare you because you will evolve. Like you're forced to. And I was like, you know, like a yoga retreat in Hawaii, like that gives me an excuse to be in Hawaii. But also like have something to do and like know that I'll be around people because like filming as well as an adult, like when I hit 18,

I would go off to film things all the time and I would be on my own. And so like, if I wanted to go to dinner, like a lot of times I would just go by myself and like bring a book. And like, I definitely would have those moments where I'm like looking around, like kind of trying to like lock eyes and engage with anyone.

Preferably would sit at the bar so I could like talk to the bartender. Cause like, I love people. Like I love just like talking to people. Yeah, but you start using a different part of your brain when you do Yeah, but you start using a different part of your brain when you do that, like you start using a different part of your energy where it's like, oh, I'm gonna see if I can make something out of nothing.

Yeah, exactly. That's a mindset that you lose as we get older. That's very true. Because most of your life is thrown about the same people, same work people, same life people. And so like when you're like, oh, I'm trying to talk to the bartender, I'm trying to lock,

even the idea of locking eyes with someone random. Oh, my gosh. Overcomes a fear. Yeah, but it's a favorite thing. I literally will like be driving and like will like turn and just like look at people from stop at a red light and like try to like dance with people. The other day, this guy was like listening to a song. We had our windows down. He had his windows down. And me and my girlfriend were just like body rolling like just like lock

and I was trying to make this person laugh. Like it's, I love that. But the trip, the yoga retreat in Hawaii ended up just being like so freeing because I was just like, okay, like I'm here on my own. Like, I'm just gonna like talk to people that I connect with and like go from there. And like genuinely forced me to stay as present

as possible because I was engaging with people I know nothing about. I feel like that's the thing I love about talking to people that you don't know. Like you're forced to be present because it's like if you're actually trying to engage, which not everybody does. But then those are the people you don't need to engage with. But when you find people who you can, you're so present because you're actually listening. Get emotional with me, Radhita Vlukya, in my new podcast, A Really Good Cry. We're going to talk about and go through all the things that are sometimes difficult to process alone. We're going to go over how to regulate your emotions,

diving deep into holistic personal development and just building your mindset to have a happier, healthier life. We're going to be talking with some of my best friends. I didn't know we were going to go there on this. People that I admire. When we say listen to your body, really tune in to what's going on. Authors of books that have changed my life. Now you're talking about sympathy, which is different than empathy, right? And basically have conversations that can help us get through this crazy thing we call life. I already believe in myself. I already see myself. And so when people give me an opportunity, I'm just like, oh, great, you see me too.

We'll laugh together, we'll cry together and find a way through all of our emotions. Never forget, it's OK to cry as long as you make it a really good one. Listen to A Really Good Cry with Radhie Dev Devlukia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Kristin Davis, host of the podcast Are You a Charlotte? The incredible Cynthia Nixon joins me this week for a conversation filled with memories, lots of laughs, and even unexpected revelations and stories I didn't even know.

Like, Cynthia could have been Carrie? When I first read the script, they asked me to read for Carrie, as I think they asked you to read for Carrie. I did not know this. Yes, they asked me to read for Carrie, right? And then I did. And they were like, yeah, not so much. How that short hair came to be.

So I was blonde, Kim was blonde, Sarah was blonde. You were the only non-blonde. So they came to me and they said, we got too many blondes. Would you dye your hair red? Also, is she a Miranda? People would ask me, are you, how are you like Miranda? And I would always say, we both feel confident about our brains, but that's kind of where it ends. You can't miss this.

Listen to Are You a Charlotte on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm so sick of hearing men talk about women's basketball. If only there were a professional WNBA player with her own podcast I could listen to. You rang? Hey, this is Lexi Brown, WNBA player and professional yapper. And this is Mariah Rose.

You may know me from spilling the tea on Hoops for Hotties on TikTok. And we've got a new podcast, full circle. Every Wednesday, we're catching you up on what's going on in women's basketball. And not just in the WNBA, but with athletes unlimited, unrivaled, and college basketball. We've got you with analysis, inside stories, and a little bit of tea. I know you guys have seen a lot of former and current basketball players telling their stories from their point of view, and I just think it's time for the girlies to tap in. We want to share all of the women's basketball stories that you won't see anywhere else. Tune into Full Circle, an iHeart Women's

sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Confidence is something we all struggle with at some point. But where does confidence come from? How do we build it in a way that feels genuine and lasting? Claudia O'Shree, comedian, podcast host, and social media personality,

gets candid about her journey with self-image and how love played a role in shaping her confidence. I really want you to hear her story. Like, what would you say to someone who maybe doesn't have... doesn't want to go on a ZMP? Because they're scared or whatever it may be, but like, what would you say with them? So, I feel like people don't like my answer

because when I was like struggling with my self-image, I feel like I'm gonna cry now, sorry. So much of my confidence, I would say like all of it, came from the fact that I had a husband or a boyfriend at the time, fiance, who loved me so much. And he thought I was like the greatest thing. And so if he thought it, and look at him, like I just, I loved me so much. And he thought I was like the greatest thing. And so if he thought it and look at him, like I just, I love him so much.

And so he thinks I'm so great. Like that's not that you should get your confidence from a man, whatever, but like I did. Just to be loved so unequivocally by somebody who I think is so great, that gave me a lot of confidence. Like he thought I was the best. He thought I was the smartest.

He thought I was the prettiest. So like I was, because his opinion is the only one that matters. But also like I look at him and I think of him as like so charming, attractive, like who wouldn't want to marry him? And he likes me? Like, oh my God, I must be like the greatest thing ever.

And I really feel like so much of my confidence. And it's so funny because he says that he gets confidence from me, which I feel like really happy that it's a two-way street. But having a relationship that I felt really solid about, but also somebody who just loved me so much, really, it just made me believe like what he was saying. Do you know what I mean?

What's interesting to me is just so much of how, whether it's body shaming we do to ourselves, or that society does to us, how so much of it is built up around aesthetics and visuals, and how health and vitality are actually not based on simply visuals. No, but I will say visually, at the time, like if you were to just compare me visually now

and me visually then, like, I was very unhealthy. Like, I had a lot of random medical issues that, like, a 25-year-old girl shouldn't be having. So, I agree with you that, like, a lot of times, we judge people's health based on their weight, and that's not the case for everyone. But to be clear, like, it was the case for me. Yeah.

Like, I was not healthy. I did not walk to work. Like, I was really, like, living a very inactive, unhealthy lifestyle. That's not the case for everyone you see who's overweight, but that was 1,000 percent the case for me. Yeah. And now what's the new schedule? Oh, bitch, well, now I'm pregnant, so like it's kind of reverted back, but so not pregnancy-wise.

I just really like lead my day with little pockets of activity. I think that like going to meetings, going to work, like I'm always being like, okay, I'll walk. Um, I worked out like before I got pregnant, I worked out like, you know, three to work, like I'm always being like, okay, I'll walk. Um, I worked out, like, before I got pregnant, I worked out, like, you know, three to five times a week. Um, I would spend my weekends, like, doing things that I enjoy whilst being active, like going for walks in the park with Ben. Just, like, making sure that I wasn't rotting in bed

as much as I can, I'm capable of, because I'm capable of a great deal of rotting. Um, and then with meals, that's really where I probably struggled the most, but just trying to be a little bit more well-rounded. I feel like I eat like a six-year-old. And so I do, like I eat rice and chicken fingers. And so just changing sometimes to like brown rice and grilled chicken, you know, thinking a little bit more.

But it's hard because I'm such a picky eater that, you know, I'm not going to be making Bronzino on the weekends with like a tapenade, you know? That's never going to happen. I don't even know what tapenade is. And then, I mean, as I'm hearing you speak, I'm just like, is there a lot of people talk about this right now? Like this idea of when you become pregnant,

is there like a loss of the life you had? Oh my God, 100%. Like is there a feeling of like, wait a minute, just a few moments ago, a few months ago, I was... I would say I don't feel, I really, I mean, I've been married for a hundred years and we decided to wait to have kids. And I think that because we made that choice,

I am now not spending my pregnancy and you know, hopefully the next year or two mourning a life. I feel like I lived life to the fullest and I really, really waited till I was ready. So the only thing I feel like I'm mourning is my body. Like that, nobody talks enough about what it's like to lose significant weight and then get pregnant.

I don't know how I feel about it. I don't have fully fleshed that out. I'm struggling every single day. But no, I don't feel sad about like a life left behind. I feel like I lived every minute of my 20s, like on the edge of cliffs, going on trips, partying, like doing everything I wanted to do. And when I turned 30 over the summer,

I was like, you know what, I'm done. Like I really feel, and that's what I'm so happy about. Because yeah, I like see my friends with kids and I'm like, oh, I do wish I had like, you know what? I'm done. Like I really feel, and that's what I'm so happy about. Because yeah, I like see my friends with kids and I'm like, oh, I do wish I had like, you know, joined them, but I feel so fulfilled in that one chapter of my life that I'm really ready to start the next chapter. We often think about self-care as something external.

Our skincare routine, our diet or exercise. But what about caring for our soul? How do we create rituals that nurture not just our body, but our peace of mind and self-worth? To share her journey, Alicia Keys, Grammy-winning artist, entrepreneur and advocate for soul care, Alicia opens up about her struggles with anxiety, how stress affected her skin,

and how she turned her personal healing process into a philosophy that helps others. Listen to this. how stress affected her skin, and how she turned her personal healing process into a philosophy that helps others. Listen to this. I think often those of us who live spiritual lives, we can be quite negligent of our casing out of this body. And you can kind of- Disconnect from it.

Disconnect from it, yeah, disconnect from it. Right, right. And so I wanted to ask you, how has your relationship changed with your skin that was something that brought you anxiety? Oh my gosh, I mean... To feeling more confident in your skin. I mean, it was forever.

It was literally forever that I really struggled with my skin. And you know, you're a teenager and you're hormones and you get it and it's cool. And then all of a sudden I was like 18 and then I was 23 and then I was 28 and then I was 30 and then I was like 35 and I'm like, whoa, when does this thing stop? Like when? I thought like 16, 18, 21 maybe.

Why is it continuing? And it was really hard to, especially to be in spaces where you would present yourself and you would feel just so self-conscious. I just felt so self-conscious and I'm like, but there's a big bump right here. And then most people are like, I don't even see the damn bump, but I see the bump right here and it's huge.

And it feels really uncomfortable, you know? You just feel uncomfortable. You want to know why too. You want to know what's the matter. Is something wrong? Why? I thought I'm... What can I do to help this? And so that definitely caused me a lot of anxiety. I started in the music world when I was 18. And so that was right kind of at the precipice.

And then the stress of the whole universe of music was just so much. And I was trying my best to play it cool. I'm like, I can handle it. I can do it. But it was stressful. It was a whole new world. I had to carry a new weight on my shoulders and try to, you know, kind of like be calm while, or cool while doing it, and it was tricky.

And my skin, I learned that my body reacts to stress. Our bodies react to stress. My personal body physically reacts to stress. Many of our personal bodies do this, which is obviously why even many dis-eases come to us from stress because physically it's a physical manifestation of this feeling, which is why it is so important for us to figure out like what gives you peace, what calms you down, what makes you feel safe and like you're in your skin

and you're yourself and these types of things. And so of course I didn't know what that was for a long time, but I realized that it was these relationships I was attracting and it was the level of commitment I was agreeing to that left no space for me to reflect or to sleep or to be with my friends and, you know, do those, have those outlets that do give you a sense of calm. And so my skin was so reactive that I said one day to myself,

if I one day, I'm going to make something that fixes this, this. I'm going to do something about this because I know I'm not to make something that fixes this, this. I'm going to do something about this because I know I'm not the only one. And I realized as I began to live and experience so many different parts of my life, motherhood and raising young kids and finding time for yourself and getting rid of those toxic energies that were attacking me in real life, I realized that you really have to take care of your soul. Like, you have to take care of your soul.

So this philosophy of soul care really came from all of these understandings and all of these realisings that no one's gonna do it for me. Like, no... As much as I really, really wish someone would stand up and be like, you, you're not good for her, get out of here. That thing, you, you need to stop. No, I have to be the judge of that.

And therefore, I have to find my way to the understanding of how do I hear myself to know what is good and what is not, or what is real or what is true. And so, there were many things that brought me to that place. Some of them were meditations that brought me there, and really brought me to a more intuitive space. Some of them were just practicing the art of like, no, what do you think?

No, I know six friends said this. Or I know that very strong energy that always tells everybody what they think said this, Well, I know that very strong energy that always tells everybody what they think said this, but what do you think? And that became the practice of soul care and also these ideas of ancient rituals and what are some special ways that we can have peace and calm? And I was attracted to crystals and their powers and their meanings. I was attracted to journaling and I have a very difficult time.

As a kid, I had a difficult time expressing my truth. And I realized that when I would journal or do the stream of consciousness, I could actually just release it. I could let it go. And if I'm not good at doing that to someone else, because I didn't trust as fully, I can do it with myself.

And so these practices of how do you kind of like, depend on yourself to find your own grounding became my idea of what soul care is, which eventually became how I said, I'm going to make that thing to fix that thing, became this key soul care. And the idea was, to me, it's a philosophy. It's a way of life. It's a lifestyle. To me, you know, the beauty industry or skincare industry,

just like the music industry, all of it is creating how to live within the chaos. How do we do it? Nobody teaches us normally. It's a blessing if someone does. But normally it's not. So finding these ways through affirmations, through the idea of really connecting to yourself, and using the affirmations are on every bottle,

because the idea is you wash your face, you do that every day with the Golden Cleanser, you can also think about how I'm devoted to this moment. Because so many times we're over here, over there, back there, over there. How can you just be right here with yourself right now? And so the idea is like creating this mixture of ancient rituals and where skin meets soul and soul care

because we have hair care, hair care, nail care, body care, home care, but we never had soul care. Why? So we wanted to, I wanted to start it. Yeah, that's so beautiful. I mean, I couldn't agree more. As someone who was very negligent of a lot of this stuff, like growing up and not really thinking about it, I've seen the value of, I'm a big fan of affirmations.

Right. I think even when it comes to cleansing my face, what that means, what that feels like, how different I feel internally because of it, how it can be a reminder to continue to cleanse and detox the soul as well as that which is around me. There's so much of that connection from body, mind, spirit and soul

that I think we lose and we don't realize how interconnected they all are. Have you ever wished for a change but weren't sure how to make it? Maybe you feel stuck in a job or a place or a relationship. Join me, Emily Tish Sussman over on She Pivots, where I explore the inspiring pivots of women, dig deeper into the personal reasons behind them,

and leave you with the inspiration you need to make your next pivot. Every Wednesday, I sit down with women like Kamala Harris, Vanessa Hudgens, and armchair expert host Monica Padman. This March, we are continuing to uplift women in honor of Women's History Month with episodes from powerhouse Governor Gretchen Whitmer. I fell in love with public policy

and that's kind of when I pivoted. Then later we dive into the rise of women's sports I fell in love with public policy and that's kind of when I pivoted. Then later we dive into the rise of women's sports to learn how leaders like sports investor Carolyn Tisch Blodgett and former Gotham FC champion turn coach Michelle Bados are shaping the industry. Come join us and listen to She Pivots on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. You are cordially invited to the hottest party in professional sports.

I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party. Your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf, featuring interviews with top players on tour like LPGA superstar Angel Yin. I really just sat myself down at the end of 2022 and I was like, look, either we make it or we quit. Expert tips to help improve your swing and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. The drinks were flowing.

Okay. They were like twerking all over the place, vaping, they're shotgunning, they're pissing in the middle of the course. Women's golf is a wild ride, full of big personalities, remarkable athleticism, fierce competition, and a generation of women hell-bent on shanking that glass ceiling. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen

is an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Mi gente hermosa, Wilmer Valderrama. Yo soy Freddy Rodríguez, host of the new podcast Dos Amigos. In this series, we candidly reflect on our careers, life, art, and everything in between. Each episode emanates from our very own Speak Easy,

and it features us talking about pivotal moments, hilarious agnathotes, and then I said the word, yes. Ha ha ha. That's when I knew. That's when I knew this might just work. Ha ha ha. And invaluable collaborations that helped us become who we are today. That was one of the rare movies that I saw in the movie theater when I was a kid.

And then I got to work with them and tell them how much I loved it. Plus, the door stays open for perhaps a third amigo. Listen to Dos Amigos Thursdays on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Confidence is something we all strive for, but often misunderstand. We think we need it before taking action. But what if the key is to act first, even when we don't feel ready? What if confidence is something we build as we go, not something we wait for?

To help us break through the myths of confidence, we have Lisa Bilyeu, entrepreneur, bestselling author, and co-founder of Impact Theory. Lisa's journey from stay at home wife to powerhouse businesswoman has given her a unique perspective on what it really takes to build confidence from within. Let's hear what she has to say. So I think confidence is such a important and powerful topic. I wanted to ask you,

because I think there's so much material and you do so many interviews around confidence and what it means and what it feels like. How do you define confidence for you and what does it mean to you and what is something that people can think of? Because I think everyone has a different view of the word confidence.

Yeah, I think most people actually have the misinterpretation of what confidence actually is. Because they usually, and I was culprit of this when I was a stay at home wife for eight years, I thought I needed it to get started. And I thought I needed the confidence to live out my dreams, to actually go towards my goals, and I was waiting to have the confidence.

And that, I think, is a complete misconception, is what actually is holding so many of us back from trying anything. And what I realized was, in my own journey, I actually just need to take action. I need to go into something very insecure, not knowing what I was doing, practicing, practicing, practicing, you know, wax on wax off my favorite movie, Karate Kid,

and get so damn good that I build the competence to then lead to confidence. So the truth is the confidence is the byproduct of taking action. And a lot of us don't think of it like that. We think it's going to be the magic bullet that's going to get us to actually take that action at the beginning. And so that's where I actually reshaped and how I rethought of the word confidence. And then also for me, confidence is like a muscle. If you don't keep practicing it, you won't actually get strong at it. And if you stop practicing, you will get weaker.

And just like when you go to the gym, you may practice like your biceps or your legs, it's a different mechanism to practice working your calves than practicing your bicep. So that is what confidence is. It's not that you get confidence in one area, and you're good to go. It's that you get confidence maybe in being in front of the camera. But being in front of the camera, as you know, Jay,

is very different than being on stage. So when someone sees maybe you've got confidence in one area, it doesn't mean that you've got confidence everywhere else. And I think people, if it's you and you're thinking about it, you may then think that you're incompetent or you're no good or like, it's just, well, I don't have the genes, so I may as well not get started. But the truth is identify where you can't want the confidence, get started, build that competence, and then eventually it will breed confidence.

Yeah, absolutely. I couldn't agree with you more. I remember once looking at the definition of confidence in the dictionary. And one of the definitions is an appreciation of one's own abilities, skills, and qualities. Hmm. I was like, I really like that definition. Like, it's actually self-validation.

Like, confidence is being able to look at yourself and say, I'm good at this. I'm actually a kind person. I'm a thoughtful person. I am a good public speaker. I am a best-selling author, whatever it may be. And you're almost validating a skill, quality, or attribute you have by yourself.

And I think it's so interesting, and you're right, I think we viewed confidence as how do other people feel about us. So we look at it as like, oh, that person looks so confident because they're like walking out their car, they got that swag, they're like dripping in great clothes or whatever it may be, and we see that as confidence. But we know that that person could be sitting in there

going, oh, I'm not the right size, I'm overweight, underweight, I'm whatever else it may be, and criticizing themselves. I was wondering, what is something that took you the longest in your life to build confidence around? Ooh, I'm ever evolving, but I think it really was to believe in myself that I'm capable. And that all started from, because I was this stay at home wife for eight years,

and I wanna just make sure that I say this though, there's nothing wrong with being a stay at home wife at all. It's actually one of the hardest jobs that was for me, but I didn't want it. That actually wasn't my dream. It was, I felt like it was sucking the life out of me. So as that staying home wife, I didn't make any change because I didn't feel like I was capable of anything,

because I was so insecure. That voice in my head was so negative, Jay. Telling me all the reasons why I was no good to try anything. And so, in order for me to build my confidence to move forward, I was like, well, what if I am bad? Who cares? You have to actually practice. Why do I think that I can be amazing at something, right? If someone looks at you and they're like, oh my god,

he's such an amazing podcaster. How long have you been doing it? Years and years and years and years. So when someone looks at you and let's say they're comparing their beginning to your middle or your end, you will feel incompetent. And so for me, I had to stop looking outside of myself at all the amazing people, because I believed I wasn't good enough to try. And so I had to build the internal confidence to take that action, to actually just try and understand that it's going to be a process. And without that, I never would have got out

of what I call purgatory of the mundane, where my life is just mundane enough. And so I'm just stuck there day in and day out. And that idea that even if you don't feel good enough, you can still take action, I think was the biggest thing that was the hardest for me because I didn't want to get bullied. I was already bullied as a kid for my looks from other women. So you can imagine me trying anything,

that fear of being bullied from other girls was so petrifying that I didn't even want to take a chance. And so realizing, A, I have to build that within myself. And you said the word validate actually earlier. That word really sticks with me, because I think a lot of us wait for validation, external validation. We wait for someone to tell us that we're a good Greek wife,

or an amazing husband, or a fantastic wife. And that can actually hold us where we are. Because I was so seeking validation from everybody else. And at the time, I was getting validation for being that stay-at-home wife. And so you can imagine, I have low self-esteem, I don't believe in myself, I don't think I'm good enough, and everyone's validating me for this one thing,

even though I don't like that one thing. That validation, that feeling good about yourself, is what kept me there. So I think the trick is, is how do you make sure that you validate yourself? And that became the path for me building my confidence every single day. What am I gonna do today? To validate myself. Not get validation from my partner, from my boyfriend, from the extra how many likes I got on Instagram.

No, no, how can I validate myself? And that became my North Star versus everyone else making me feel good about myself. Absolutely. Confidence isn't something that just appears overnight. It's built through experiences, setbacks and self-acceptance. For Meghan Trainor, that journey started with a song she never thought anyone would hear.

What began as a fun personal expression turned into an anthem that resonated with millions. But even after hitting number one, she found herself still chasing validation instead of trusting her own instincts. Let's hear how she learned to let go of expectations and embrace her true confidence. Well, back then, I was a songwriter writing for other artists. So I was thinking like, what's not on the radio and what could be on the radio. But when I wrote all about that bass, it was like a joke.

Like it was like, I was like, no one's going to cut this. We've wasted a day at work and we'll just write a therapy song for us. Like, cause the co-writer was like a man and it was the first time meeting him. So it's kind of like a blind date and you're like, where'd you grow up? How are you?

And we both were like, we were chubby kids and we had to learn how to love ourselves. And I was like, how funny would it be? That's like, I ain't no size two, but I can't shake it. Shake it. And I'm like, how funny would it be? That's like, I ain't no size two, but I can shake it, shake it. And I'm like, I'm not a confident dancer that dances in front of everyone, but imagine if I was. And I remember being like, I'll sing the demo, who cares?

And it was like a raw demo with no auto-tune and nothing, but the lyrics hit so many people that they're like, this is gonna be huge. Who's singing it? We'll just let her do it. So it was really from like a weird raw place. Like I wasn't chasing radio. I wasn't, and I fell into that before

when you were talking about competition. I didn't know about charts and all that stuff. When they're like, you're number one. I was like, fantastic. Like, what is that? Like number one everywhere, they're like everywhere. I was like, well, that was easy. So then anytime I did another song, I was like, it's not number one everywhere, they're like everywhere. I was like, well, that was easy. So then anytime I did another song,

I was like, it's not number one everywhere, what do you mean? Like, and then I was like, well, maybe I'm not doing what's on the radio. And then I caught myself chasing radio and just falling on my face. So with this new album, Taking it Back, I was like, I'm gonna go back to when I did Do Op and just didn't care about any charts and anything

and just do me. And you'll hear that come out. And the first song they put out was a emo, toxic relationship song. I was like, oh, okay. Coming out passionate. And so it sounds like it's always been a raw emotion that's gone out.

Now you're taking it back and you're going back to that and you're really owning that. Like with this new album, would you say that we're hearing you through the healing process? Are we hearing you say that we're hearing you through the healing process? Are we hearing you healed? Are we hearing you? I think you're hearing you're hearing you're hearing a healed, mature mother, who is just ruthlessly honest, you know, like one song, Don't I make it look easy that I teased today

on my Instagram is like, talking about don't I make this look easy? Like everything's perfect. Cause everyone who interviews me is like, you are so fun and you have the best family and best life. And I'm like, I cry so much. You just don't know it. Cause I don't film myself and post it, you know? So I say in the first verse, like I posted a picture.

I read all the comments. I hearted the good ones. And if I'm being honest, I probably spent an hour on it. And then I'm like, and it's just like a fun way of being ruthlessly honest. Ruthlessly. That's not a word, but brutally honest. Yeah. True confidence doesn't just come from winning.

It comes from how you handle the losses. It's about resilience, picking yourself back up when things don't go your way, and having the determination to keep pushing forward. Kobe Bryant understood this better than most. He wasn't always the strongest or the fastest, but he built confidence by prioritizing long-term growth over immediate results. He knew that self-worth isn't defined by where you are today. It's about your commitment to improvement. Let's hear how he developed that mindset.

And you talk about that because you talk about, you know, when you talk about missing five throws and you talk about getting over yourself. Yeah. Right? Like getting over yourself. How did you get that mentality of just being like, I need to get over this. Like I need to get over myself. You know, trial and error.

You grow up and you make game winning shots and it's awesome. You come back the next day and miss a game winning shot and it's misery. And then the next day comes and you're back playing again. You understand that life has this cyclical nature where it's what you do on Monday, it's fantastic. But then Tuesday is a bad day. But guess what?

There's Wednesday. So are we just supposed to live our lives like this the whole time? Versus just staying like this and understanding that it's really just a journey of evolution every day. It's just constant improvement, constant curiosity, constantly getting better. The results don't really matter.

It's the figuring out that matters. Yeah, and we all get obsessed about the results. Yeah. Like we get obsessed about like the output. Yeah. Not the input, of not Like we get obsessed about like the output. Yeah. Not the input of not figuring it out and not like changing things. What you said, trial and error, like the experimenting.

Yeah. We forget to do that. It's unfortunate, man. Like I've seen a lot of players, especially now in youth basketball dealing with that. You have players that are like bigger and faster and stronger and you know, their coaches are just coaching them for results.

You know, we're just going to use your size that cause you're bigger than every other 12 year old and stronger and their coaches are just coaching them for results. We're just gonna use your size because you're bigger than every other 12 year old out there to dominate today, but they're not growing. So they're just based on that result, but they're not focused on growing this young child into becoming a better athlete. And through that, teaching them how to become

a more well-rounded person. And we're missing that. Yeah, See what you've said there, just... I want to ask you this, and I'm not saying, because I, you know, like, you know yourself best and you know how you've got there. So I'm asking it from a place of humility, of learning. When I look at you, I'm like, you know, your superpower isn't just your work ethic.

Your superpower isn't just like figuring things out. Your superpower is like, you think strategically. Like, that's a very strategic thought of saying, this person could be this in the future if they were developed as a whole individual, rather than just like let's use them for the short term. And where did you develop that from, that ability to see beyond, to think deeper,

to reflect deeper, where did that come from? Well, I had to do that because I grew up, growing up in Italy, when I first moved over there, it Well, I had to do that because I grew up growing up in Italy. When I first moved over there, I didn't speak Italian. I didn't have any friends. I had the game of basketball. And through sport and playing soccer, I was able to make friends and build connections.

But it was a lot of time spent alone. And when I came back to the States, I wasn't the most athletic kid. I was really scrawny, like really, really skinny and had like major knee issues because I was growing. So I was the dorky kid with high socks and big old knee pads. It's fashionable now. It's fashionable now.

It wasn't then. And so I had to look long term because in the here and now, I couldn't compete with these kids. I mean, there was kids that were like 12 years old with beards. Like, I can't. What am I supposed to do with that? Like they're doing windmills and dunking backwards and I'm happy to like tap the backboard, you know? So I had to look at it from a long term

because I wasn't going to give up on the game. So I had to say, okay, this year, I'm going to get better at that. Next year, this, and then so forth and so on. And then patiently, I was able to catch them. Yeah. I love hearing that because I think so many of us kind of, you believe like when you see people like yourself,

it's like it's so easy as an excuse to ourselves to just be, oh, you're destined for it, right? You were made for it. Kind of like that. You know, like, oh, yes. You know, but when you talk about saying, oh, actually, when I started, I didn't have the physicality that meant that I was going to make it. Like you have to figure it out. And I love it. You have to figure it out, man. It's just piece by piece. But when you talk about saying, oh, actually, when I started, I didn't have the physicality

that meant that I was going to make it. Like you had to figure it out and I love it. Figure it out, man. It's just piece by piece. And it's the consistency of the work, which I feel like a lot of parents are missing today because we're not teaching that to our kids. We tend to say like kids don't want to do the work, but in reality, it's when we're failing them because we're not leading them the right way and teaching them how to fish. You know what I mean?

And so like the consistency of work, Monday get better, Tuesday get better, Wednesday get better. And you do that over a period of time, not like one month or two months. I mean, it's three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten years. And then you can get to where you want to go. Confidence isn't about walking into a room and thinking you're the best. It's about not feeling the need to compare yourself to anyone.

True self-worth comes from knowing who you are, not just what you accomplish. It's built in the quiet moments, how you show up for yourself, and the way you speak to yourself when no one's around. I hope this episode helped you realize that confidence isn't about having all the answers. It's about trusting yourself to figure it out.

If something resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it, and I'll see you next time on On Purpose. If you love this episode, you'll really enjoy my episode with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner critic and how to speak to yourself with more compassion. My fears are only going to continue to show me what I'm capable of. The more that I face my fears, the more that I feel I'm gaining strength and gaining wisdom, and I just wanna keep doing that. Mi gente hermosa, Wilmer Valderrama. Yo soy Freddy Rodriguez, host of the new podcast,

Dos Amigos. In this series, we candidly reflect on our careers, life, art, and everything in between. And each episode emanates from our very own Speak Easy, and it features us talking about pivotal moments, hilarious agnitodes, and invaluable collaborations that helped us become who we are today. Listen to Dos Amigos Thursdays on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast, Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls.

And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Krumz on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We all have a moment that splits us wide open. On my new podcast, Wide Open with Ashlyn Harris, I'll sit down with trailblazers from sports, music, fashion, entertainment, and politics to explore their toughest moments and the incredible comebacks that followed. Listen to Wide Open with Ashlyn Harris, an iHeart women's sports production

on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.