On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Jay’s Must Listens: What Every Parent Needs to Hear Right Now—How to Raise Confident & Emotionally Strong Kids (Ft. Dr. Amen & Kim Kardashian)

Episode Date: April 2, 2025

What’s the hardest part about being a parent? How do you balance discipline and love while navigating the ever-evolving complexities of raising children? In this special compilation episode, we explore the meaningful lessons, struggles, and joys of parenting. Jay Shetty and his guests share wisdom on how to nurture strong family bonds, create a positive environment for growth, and raise children with confidence and resilience. From setting healthy boundaries to leading with love and patience, each guest offers practical insights that will help parents navigate the ups and downs of raising children. Whether you're a new parent, an experienced caregiver, or just seeking a deeper understanding of parent-child relationships, this episode is packed with valuable insights.   In this episode, you'll learn: How to Build Deep, Lasting Connections with Your Kids The Importance of Setting Healthy Boundaries in Parenting How to Lead with Love While Teaching Discipline Ways to Foster Emotional Resilience in Children The Power of Modeling the Behavior You Want to See   Parenting is both one of life’s greatest responsibilities and its most rewarding joys. By approaching the journey with intention, patience, and love, you lay the foundation for a strong and thriving family   With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty   Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here.   What We Discuss:  00:00 Intro 01:13 Is Discipline About Punishment or Teaching? 11:06 Are You Spending Enough Uninterrupted Time With Your Kids? 19:27 How To Overcome and Find Balance Between Career and Family 26:03 Teaching Your Kids Resilience and Self-WorthSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, you guys, I'm Catherine Legg. I'm a racing driver who's literally driven everything with four wheels across the planet. And I've got a new podcast. It's called Throttle Therapy. This season, I'm gearing up to make history, competing in some of the world's most notorious racing events. Tune into my new podcast Throttle Therapy with Catherine Legg, an iHeart women's sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart radio Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olaya, host of the podcast Crumbs.

For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. I had to grab the lamp and smashed it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, sis, it's Dr. Joy from Therapy for Black Girls. We've had 400 episodes of conversations, growth, and healing. So we're celebrating. Join us for a special episode with internationally recognized yogi, Chelsea Jackson Roberts, as she shares wisdom on mindfulness, movement, and motherhood. I waited later to have children and I still have exactly what I knew that I wanted. You don't want to miss this special episode.

Listen to Therapy for Black Girls on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The number one health and wellness podcast. Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty. The one, the only Jay Shetty. Studies show that a child's emotional intelligence

and resilience is strongly shaped by their parents' approach to discipline and communication. But with so much parenting advice out there, it can be hard to know what really works. We're judged in many roles in our lives, but it seems we're judged the most in our roles as parents. There's no handbook to parenting yet. We're expected to never make any mistakes. Parenting is fulfilling but challenging.

Every stage comes with new lessons. Today's guests bring different perspectives. Psychologists, experienced parents, and public figures balancing family with busy careers. Let's start with one of the biggest parenting struggles, discipline. Discipline is about teaching, not punishing. It's so important that we know how to set boundaries in a way that builds confidence, not fear.

It's important that we create a safe, supportive environment where kids can learn from mistakes. Dr. Elisa Pressman will be talking about how discipline is about teaching, not punishing. I feel like discipline is so controversial. But I think of it as all feelings are welcome, all behaviors are not.

So, if I had to sum it up, and I think we do think of discipline as punishment versus teaching, and it's teaching. Because it actually influences your growth and development. It's not just for my entertainment. Then your kids trust you a little bit more and the relationship is stronger. But I think the key with discipline is not being afraid of how our kids react to it and having the strength of purpose and belief that if they do have a negative reaction to it, we

can love them all the way through it, but we're not going to change our minds about it. Because that's where it gets messy is that if we're talking all about how important the relationship is and then you have this limit that you set, like this is my expectation of you and your child doesn't like it. This simply like I, you know, I take the phone away at night, or the iPad or whatever, and your child is freaking out about it.

Then you go, well, now I've messed with the relationship, and so I guess I should, they're crying, and I need to, like, get back in there, so, okay, I'll give you more time, or whatever it is. And that's where we get confused. I think if parents really understood that feelings aren't dangerous,

that kids aren't gonna say thank you for the boundaries and limits that we set, and that we set them with the intention of physical and emotional safety, about not just them, but other people. Like, we're not just raising kids in a vacuum. They have to move through the world and think about community and other humans.

And so what's comfortable for them might not be thoughtful to other people. And so it's that balance between be there for yourself, but also not to the extent that you can't, you know, that you're entitled and don't respect that there are other people in the world. I mean, there's three kind of parenting styles outside of neglectful, which is not, you know,

that's a whole other thing. But there's like the permissive, which is best friend parenting. And it is so sensitive. They do like you and you can play as many video games as you want and all that's great, except for you have no... Nobody's steering the ship. And so it actually can lead to anxiety and depression and a sense that you are too responsible for things.

And the other side of it is authoritarian, where it's fear-based and it just rules. And it's just because I said so, but without the like, I know you really love doing this and I wouldn't stop you from doing it if I didn't know that it was better for your brain or whatever. So that's the middle path of like authoritative where you're sensitive, but you stick with your limits and boundaries because you know that that's going to benefit your kids.

Even when you have limits and rules, you want your kids to know as you're describing your mom that they have you. So if you do mess up, you can still go to them instead of being terrified. And so that's this weird thing where it's like, here are my expectations. Also I want to name the fact that you're going to blow it sometimes and I want to be the person you come to. And that's something to say not when they're struggling. And I think part of the reason why it's hard to get kids to open up is because we try to

get in there when they're in the center of the struggle, instead of like building the vocabulary and connection outside of it. So you have the conversations and you give the language when nobody's in the heat of the moment. So that when the heat of the moment comes, they already know that they can come to you. And you can just say to them, I can tell something's going on. I'm here whenever or if ever.

And then just leave space. A lot of times doing something with a kid who's not opening up, like going for a drive even, so they're not looking at each other. And, you know, I can't think of any sport right now, because I'm not super sporty. But, you know, like, playing, I'm like, what is it called when one does a game with someone? Pickleball. Tennis, yeah.

So you go play pickleball. You're playing pickleball, it's going to come up. But you want to just like put little tiny moments where you say, I'm askable, I'm tellable, and I'm not going to say anything. And one of the things that helps is that when your kids do tell you something, you say, thank you for telling me before you have any other reaction. And that may be your only reaction. And then you give them a little space. And then you say, is there anything I can do? With younger kids, you want to be and this is going to sound ridiculous if you don't think about animals this way, but I

do. So tell me if it resonates. But you kind of want to be a dog. You wagging your tail when you're excited to see them. You're always there and you're like really enthusiastic. And they need that. But then, as they get older, imagine you're 11 to 25-year-old self. You need to be a cat. So you're like a little, you're there, you're always around. You're not, you might, you're touching their feet. Like you're not overly on top of them. But if they're interested, they can come to you. touching their feet, like you're not overly on top of them.

But if they're interested, they can come to you. But you're not going anywhere. So it's like, it's this safe thing where you're there for them, but it's not so intense. And then they have the opportunity to open up a little bit. And when they do, you don't pounce like a dog, you stay a cat who's like welcoming the information, but not, you know, saying, oh my God.

And then, you know, because you don't want your kids to think, you can't handle my truth. So I'm not, you're not the person to tell. Yeah, and I feel that's the hardest time to be the cat because you're scared about them getting involved in the worst stuff. Like whether it's drugs or, you know, addiction to social media or getting involved

in the wrong circles, like that's the age at which it's gonna happen. Yeah, it's terrifying. Yeah, it's terrifying. So then they're getting a driver's license. They can drink now, you know, as they get older, it's almost like those are the times where you wanna be more hands-on.

And you are fit, that's why I say you're physically present. Like, I think toddlers and teenagers need you more present than anybody. But we think teenagers are like off on their own and whatever, but you're home. Like, if they're going to a party, you're home to greet them and look into their eyes. So you don't need to ask if they've been drinking. Because you will know when you hug them and look in their eyes. So you don't need to ask if they've been drinking,

because you will know when you hug them and look in their eyes. And you can have a conversation in a different kind of way than if you're sort of like, I'm out, you're out, you're older, you know, take an Uber, don't drive drunk, I'll see you tomorrow. So I think your presence is important, but the sense that you're like kind of all over them verbally has, you have to pull back a little bit.

And it's terrifying. But if you've cultivated the relationship and you've set the expectations from, you know, about substances and social media and whatever, it's easier. But when something's really bothering them, what they need is to know that they don't have to explain it and they can just come to you and be sad. Attachment relationships are dynamic. So you aren't just like... It used to be,

we used to think like, you know, you have a baby, you develop the secure attachment, it's like a bond, and that's it. But we know now it's dynamic. And so if you have a five-year-old or a 16-year-old or a 35-year-old, you can still grow that healthy attachment relationship. So you can change. Our job is not to fix, it's to be there.

And that's what secure attachment is. Even in your adult relationships, it's like, who can sit with me through all of these experiences, through these feelings? Because the idea of being happy isn't really about always being happy, it's about knowing you can come back

from whatever it is that you're going through and you will be happy again. And if our kids experience the range of things that come their way, and they know that they have someone sort of sitting by their side, they end up in this relationship that is securely attached, and it's not like one and done. And if it didn't, you know, that's the thing that I think is the trickiest, is feeling like I'm responsible

for my child's constant happiness. I have to feel ashamed if I wasn't there for every moment, or if I couldn't fix that feeling, which you can't, as you know. And I think sometimes people feel like they're maybe better or worse at different stages. And so there's, you know, like, this assumption that we're gonna kind

of know what to do. Like the idea that you do come home from the hospital and you're just like, okay, I guess. I just feel like in adulthood, this happens all the time. Like I remember just the first time I was, you know, in my twenties and I had my own apartment and I was like, wait, I can just decide what I'm doing? I can open a bottle of wine? Like, there were things that I still was like, I'm gonna, it's bizarre. And now, like, that I'm the last, you know,

person in charge of whatever, and there's nobody that I'm supposed to ask and I can make a decision, I'm still kind of like, is that okay? And so the idea that you're just like, in charge of raising a whole human being or more is really daunting. And we all kind of think everybody else knows.

We don't know. Hey y'all, it's your girl, Cheeky's, and I'm back with a brand new season of your favorite podcast, Cheeky's and Chill. I'll be sharing even more personal stories with you guys. And I know a lot of people are gonna attack me. Why are you gonna go visit your dad? Your mom wouldn't be okay with it.

I'm gonna tell you guys right now, I know my mother. And I know my mom had a very forgiving heart. That is my story on plastic surgery. This is my truth. I think the last time I cried like that was when I lost my mom. Like that, like yelling. I was like, no.

I was like, oh, and I thought, what did I do wrong? And as always, you'll get my exclusive take on topics like love, personal growth, health, family ties, and more. And don't forget, I'll also be dishing out my best advice to you on episodes of Dear Cheekies. So my fiance and I have been together for 10 years and the first two years of being together I find out he is cheating on me not only with women, but also with men. What should I do?

Okay, where do I start? That's not love. He doesn't love you enough because if he loved you he'd be faithful. It's going to be an exciting year and I hope that you can join me. Listen to Cheeky's and Chill, Season 4, as part of the MyCultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You are cordially invited to the hottest party in professional sports. I'm Tisha Olin, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour like LPGA superstar Angel Yin.

I really just sat myself down at the end of 2022 and I was like, look, either we make it or we quit. Expert tips to help improve your swing and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. The drinks were flowing okay they were like twerking all over the place vaping they're shotgunning they're pissing in the middle of the course. Women's golf is a wild ride full of big personalities, remarkable athleticism, fierce competition,

and a generation of women hell bent on shanking that glass ceiling. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Olin is an iHeart Woman's Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

There was a moment that should have broken me, but just because of how I was raised and my bullishness and arrogance to want to be great hardened me. It gave me a platform to be so singularly focused on greatness. We all have moments like this. Something happens that's supposed to break us. But it's in these moments that we discover what we're really made of. I promise you, if anyone knows this, it's me.

I'm Ashlyn Harris, two-time Women's World Cup champion and goalkeeper for the U.S. Women's National Team. In my new podcast, Wide Open, I'll sit down with trailblazers from sports, music, fashion, entertainment, and politics to explore their toughest moments and the incredible comebacks that followed. Listen to Wide Open with Ashlyn Harris, an iHeart women's sports production on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

The next clip is from Dr. Daniel Amon, who talks about the importance of presence and emotional connection. He talks about this special time technique, which is the importance of 20 minutes a day of uninterrupted physical time with children, plus active listening. He talks about the need to set firm loving boundaries with consistent follow-through and small intentional actions that make a big difference in connection. If you want to have influence with your children, if you want them to seriously consider your values, you have to be connected with your children, if you want them to seriously consider your values,

you have to be connected with them. And what does that take? Time. Like actual physical time where you're not on your phone, but you put the phone away and you spend 20 minutes a day with a child. So there's an exercise I talk about in the book that I love so much that, you know, all the things I've recommended to my patients over the last 45 years, when I decided to be a psychiatrist 45 years ago, special time, it's magic. And 20 minutes a day, do something with your child, child wants to do that's reasonable, you can do in 20 minutes a day, do something with your child, child wants to do, that's reasonable, you can do in 20 minutes, so it's like not take me to Nordstrom's.

And during that time, no commands, no questions, no directions. It's just time to be together. And it's money in the relational bank. And I remember when I first figured this out, my literary agent, uh, had a child later in life. We were talking on the phone and he's like, my daughter, Laura, doesn't want to have anything to do with me. And she's too. And he said, that's like a girl thing, right?

A mother daughter thing. They don't want anything. I'm like, no, Carl, you're ignoring her. What? What want anything. I'm like, no, Carl, you're ignoring her. What? What do you mean I'm ignoring? I'm like, you're ignoring her. Do this. And he said, that won't work.

I'm like, oh great. You represent an idiot. My own literary agent won't do what I say. Do it. In fact, I'm gonna put you in my schedule for three weeks. I'm gonna call you, get the party started. And so three weeks go by. I call them up.

Carl, Daniel, she won't leave me alone. As soon as I walk in the door, she grabs my leg and wants her time. All she wants to do is be with me. I'm like, that's a problem. That's what we want, right? That's what we're after. So actual physical time. And now parents are so busy.

They're not spending this one-on-one alone time listening. So that's the second part of it. So time, actual physical time, and shut up. It's so important. You love them so much, you want to pour all of your knowledge, all of your wisdom that you worked your whole life on and download it into their head. Don't do that. Listen to them.

And therapists learn this technique called active listening, that whenever someone says something, you don't interrupt and tell them how to think. You repeat it back and you listen for the feelings behind the words. So if my son came home and said, dad, I want to have blue hair. I don't know what your father would have said, but I know what mine would have said. I know when else, as long as you live in this house, you can have blue hair. But what does that do?

It just stops the conversation or it starts a fight. Active listening teaches you repeat back what you hear. Oh, you want to have blue hair. And then be quiet long enough for them to like explain what's really going on. And he might say all the kids are wearing their hair blue. Now I've been to a school I know not everybody's blue headed. And if I would have said that to my dad, I don't know what your dad would have said. I don't care what anybody else is doing. As long as you live in this house,

you're not going to have blue hair. If they're going to jump off a bridge, are you going with them? Yes, that one for sure. I've heard that plenty of times. And what does it do? Stops the conversation or it starts a fight. Sounds like you want to be like the other kids.

Completely different conversation. But that's, and he might say, Dad, sometimes I feel like I don't fit in. Now my mother would have said, what do you mean you don't fit in? Of course you fit in. You're a good boy, you're a good looking boy, you're a nice boy.

And that's not helpful either. What's just helpful is, so sometimes you feel like you don't fit in. And then give it a breath. So they're the ones solving their problem. Now at the end of a half an hour, he says, I still want to have blue hair, but I tell him no,

I'm going to hell as long as you live in my house, because it's not cool to look weird. I mean, if you look weird, you're going to hang out with weird people, right? It's okay to have boundaries around behavior. Some parents, they have like no boundaries. And I think some boundaries are appropriate. What does loving discipline look like? Because I think it's, it sounds good. Like we're all like, yeah, I would love to be disciplined, but I'd love to be loving. And often we don't even figure

out what that means in the workplace, let alone with kids. We're either loving or disciplined, but we're not. I think it should be both. What does it look like? Well, you know, we haven't gotten to rules. I think families should have them. Society has rules, like tell the truth, do what mom and dad say the first time. I love that role.

Because do you know your chance of abusing the child, if you tell a child to do something five times, your chance of abusing that child just went up significantly. And so if you have the expectation, they'll do things the first time. It's like, Caitlin, I want you to take out the trash like in the next half hour. And if she does, and it's like, sweetheart, you

have a choice. You can take it out now or you can have this consequence and then you can take it out. I don't care. It's up to you. And I love that part of not being attached to it. I love her. I'm really clear.

And she's getting that consequence consequence if she doesn't move. Stop threatening them and then not following through. Because you teach them that you have to tell them and get angry and be a bit crazy in order for them to do what you ask them to do. And I like the rules and rhythms and routines. I remember in my home, after dinner, me and my sister would clean up,

and we had a little rotor of who washed up that day and who cleaned the table that day. And it was just something that went around every day. We'd take it in turns. And my sister was four years younger than me, and we'd just do it together. And it became this thing that we just did, and it became natural.

It became a habit, and it made us accountable and responsible to each other as well, was four years younger than me and we just do it together. And it became this thing that we just did. And it became natural. It became a habit and it made us accountable and responsible to each other as well, as well as our parents. And it was a really neat way of kind of giving us that rules and, you know, I think sometimes we think of rules as like strict rules and guidelines, but actually it can be just a rhythm and a routine in... And it building competence and skill. And you're part of the family rather than you're entitled to live in that family. And the earlier you start, the better it is for kids.

I mean, it's, it's hard if you not spend any time with children by the time they're 14, their friends are more important than you are. And that's the heartbreaking thing I've learned is, if you're not spending time with them, their friends will take your place. And they may not have the advice, they may not have the right ear for you. And it makes them more vulnerable to all the scary stuff that's on social media.

You're about to hear from Kim Kardashian. And this is really about parenting in the public eye. Now, you may not have a life in the public eye, but you may wonder what other parents think about you. You may feel judged about what family members think about how you parent. And we all feel like we live in this bubble of people's constant opinions, expectations,

and obligations of what a good parent should look like. In this segment, you'll hear about how Kim balances career, fame, and raising grounded kids. She talks a lot about overcoming mom guilt and being present with her kids, even with a busy schedule and a busy work life. I think this is something a lot of you may be able to relate to and connect with. She also talks about the importance of open communication in navigating tough conversations. And she talks about how she creates a sense of normalcy despite being in the public eye

and having such a big brand. Mom guilt is probably the hardest thing. I think that you have to also separate though and understand that you need your own bit of sanity. So you have to do what makes you happy. You have to, if working for me, I love working, so that makes me happy. Anytime I think something's really hard,

I dive into work, or if there's challenges, I love to dive into my work, and that's a bit of my therapy and my routine to keep me going. But I think, I have chats with my girlfriends when our kids are having tantrums and there could be things going on that we don't even know about and you feel like you're the worst mom if something's going on and you can't fix it you have no idea how to change it your

kids are fighting whatever it is and my friends and I will text each other and be like in tears literally locking ourselves in the room, like away from a kid having a tantrum, when that's not what you should do. You should go and lean into them. But sometimes it's so overwhelming, that was probably the only time I'd be hard on myself, is, am I a good mom?

I try to do everything. And I think how to balance work with that is when you're home being really present. Kids, all they want is time. They just want your time. You can give them all these amazing big experiences and they'll remember them and they're great, but they'll always remember you being present.

And I think that's just the most important thing in all of your relationships. Think about what a kid wants. A kid just wants your time. So why wouldn't everyone else? You have to kind of treat everyone like that if you want these like meaningful relationships in your life.

And you have to be present. And it's okay to feel like you are not 100% at being the best mom. I say this all the time. There's no manual. They do not come with a manual. Everyone's doing the best that they can. And I just feel so lucky that I have a good group of girlfriends and all of our kids are experiencing different things from, I mean, imagine all the things that they, a divorce, everything that they have to go through, we're okay, they will be okay. And they will feel the love and support and that's all you can do.

It'll be okay. I'll talk to my kids about anything they want to ask me about. I am so open and honest with my kids. I think that's the only way to be. And it could be things that they might not understand. And I'll wait to find the appropriate time to talk about it. I think they grew up seeing the cameras and they grew up seeing that even as babies, you know, we'd walk out and there'd be paparazzi. So it's not really something that they acknowledge a lot,

but, you know, my daughter's really vocal. She'll tell them when she doesn't want them around and to leave her alone and to stop. And I love that they use their little voices, but they also have such a normal life and such a different life away from all of that too. And that's why I love that my sisters and I all had babies at the same time so they can be with each other and have these experiences together.

What's the biggest lesson you learned from your mom that you're trying to pass on to the kids? I think just how she makes people feel. Really heard and welcomed. She really is the most warm, welcoming person. And it's just like her overall, it seems superficial, but it's not. Like her party planning skills, it's not even that. It's just the welcomingness of,

I don't even know if these are words I'm saying, but like just her ability to be so warm and to make everyone feel like they were invited here. I'm gonna create this like special Easter dinner with like the things on the table, you the table that she had when we were growing up at my dad's house. She just has all this really special nostalgic stuff around all the time and always tries

to make everyone feel so special, but with a gathering so that everyone feels comfortable and can hang around. She just loves people in her space and loves to create these memories. I think that we all got that from her. If I can just pass that on to my kids, just the experiences that we have as a family, whether we're just sitting in our pajamas and hanging out, we make the time to be together.

I hope that my kids want to make the time to be together when they grow up with their cousins and their aunts and just the whole family. I'm sure they will. Yeah, I think they will too. Yeah, I think you've managed to hold onto it in your entire generation. And so they see that.

I think kids mirror so much of what they see around them. And I remember when I met my wife, her grandma is her favorite human on the planet. And it's really interesting how when someone you love, you know who their favorite human is. Yeah. You automatically start loving them. Yeah. And I wasn't really close to my grandparents, but I'm closer to Rade's grandma than I am to my own grandparents. That's so cute.

Because you see your love for the person that you love. And so I think when your kids see the love that you have for your sisters and your cousins and your aunts and uncles and parents. Now if only all my kids can love their siblings, that would be amazing. They're in a fighting phase. Yeah. Yeah.

And you guys went through that phase, I'm sure. We went through it too. Yeah. Oh my God. It's still going on. Yeah. Still going on. Never ending. That's still going on. Yeah, still going on. Never ending. That's never going to stop. This next segment is from Jessica Alba,

where she talks about motherhood and personal growth. A big part of what she shares is how motherhood reshaped her career and priorities. Maybe you've just started a new job. Maybe you started a new side hustle. Maybe you just had your first child and everything's changing, or maybe your kids just left the home. All of these transitions impact the way we work, live and think. It affects our relationship with our spouse, our partner,

whoever that may be, and it impacts our relationship with our work. In this segment, Jessica Harraber talks about how she teaches her kids resilience, self-worth, and using success for good. She also talks about how she's trying and been able to find balance between her personal ambitions and family life. I think this is such an important thing

that we're all trying to juggle, and it will really resonate with you. You know, I think because it was such a struggle and so hard for my parents, they were young when they had me and every day was a very, it was a very kind of tumultuous environment just because they were in survival mode every day struggling to get by. And they also didn't have necessarily the maturity or the tools to have context, like this podcast, right? There wasn't this podcast. My parents were young. We live now in a culture where so much of the stuff that just wasn't sort of serving humanity has been broken down. And there's this generation

that's sort of thinking through, like, I guess sort of like, yes, we built these civilizations based off of like, necessity, a lot of these things that are power and ego driven, right? But now we're in a place where it's more about compassion, mindfulness, right? Openness. And that's how we're going to thrive and, you know, continue to thrive as a human race. And so I think, you know, for my kids, I try to exemplify you know, for my kids, I try to exemplify whatever that is. And at the same time, you know, they are very aware of my faults, right? They're very aware that I, you know, get stressed and I, you know, get irritable and I don't sleep enough and all of those things. But, you know, we have a dialogue about it. And, you know, I try to create a space of compassion, obviously, for them, but also, you know, just for them to sort

of like know that I'm trying. I think I just wanted peace and I wanted security and I wanted a sense of financial security to me meant that you could then have peace and not be so stressed out. I also knew that like my parents in a lot of ways were just sort of like products of certain systems when you have to support a family, how can you sort of like get ahead? And they were learning as they were going, you know, it's sort of like flying the plane and fixing it at the same time. It wasn't until I became a parent, I think, that I had,

I really understood how difficult it was for them. Just being so young and not necessarily having the tools and not having, you know, a set up, right, to thrive. I felt like I had a purpose. I didn't know what it was. I came from a very simple, humble family. What I've done in my life and what I've achieved was in no way, shape or form given to me, handed to me. I mean, I think if anything, there was nothing but blocks and challenges and walls and reasons why I shouldn't dream or even have the audacity to think that I could become anything. Every stage of every piece of my life, I feel like I'm always looking to be better and do

better. So when I actually got the opportunity to be an actress and I started working on a regular basis, I prayed a lot, whether it's God or spirit or whatever it is that people pray to, I felt like if I could just channel like, I want to do good, I know I'm here to do good. If I could just channel like, I want to do good, I know I'm here to do good, I'm not sure what that end goal is, but I promise that if I get any breakthrough, I will do good with my success. And I always attributed success with being able to do good. And then when I became a mom, you know, that really my sense of self and I would say my insecurities as a person over silly things

kept me I think from fully realizing my potential before I became a mom. But when I became a mom, those insecurities sort of went away. I hope you took away a lot of practical emotional advice and insight from this episode. And here are some of my takeaways. Parenting isn't about being perfect. It's about being present and growing together. I think when we have that pressure of perfection, we actually sometimes act out in negative ways, even towards children. That pressure of perfection becomes why we're angry.

Really we're angry at ourselves, but we're taking it out on that child. That stress that we carry of wanting to be perfect parents and be perfect all the time makes us act in ways that we don't love afterwards and we might regret. Whether it's setting boundaries, building strong connections, or balancing life, today's insights show we're not alone in this journey. Every single person who's a parent is struggling with what we've talked about today. It doesn't matter how many resources you have. It doesn't matter what access you have.

Everyone is going through an up and down. And I think we can also relate to that through having been kids in our lives. If you think back to being a child, I'm sure your parents had ups and downs. I'm sure they had days, weeks, months and years that were challenging. It's natural for you to do that as well. Sometimes we're trying so hard not to be our parents that we end up repeating the same mistakes. I hope that this episode resonated with you. I hope you'll share it with a parent who needs to hear it. I hope you'll listen to it with your friends who are parents as well so you can find a space to be vulnerable, open and connect more deeply. Thank you so much for listening. If you loved this episode,

you'll enjoy my interview with Dr Daniel Amon on how to change your life by changing your brain. If we want a healthy mind, it actually starts with a healthy brain. You know, I've had the blessing or the curse to scan over a thousand convicted felons and over a hundred murderers, and their brains are very damaged. Calling all 990ers, now streaming. It's the More Better podcast with two episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine fun. Host Stephanie Beatriz and Melissa Fumero welcome former castmates Chelsea Ferretti and Joe Lattrullio for one episode each to laugh and swap stories. Like Andre would always be like, trying something and they're like, do less.

Do less. Do less all the time. But then some of the biggest things were the biggest hits, like Vindication, remember? Listen to More Better with Stephanie and Melissa on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Bob Pitman, chairman and CEO of iHeart Media. I'm excited to share my podcast with you, Math and Magic, Stories from the Frontiers of Marketing.

Make sure to check out my recent episode with legendary musician and philanthropist, Jewel. I didn't want a million dollars, I wanted a career. I wanted a way to figure out how to do something that I loved for the rest of my life. Join me as we uncover innovations in data and analytics, the math, and the ever important creative spark, the magic. Listen to Math and Magic, stories from the frontiers of marketing on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi listeners, it's Emily Tish-Sussman, host of the podcast, She Pivots.

This March, we're honoring Women's History Month with episodes from powerhouse Governor Gretchen Whitmer. I fell in love with public policy and that's kind of when I pivoted. Then later we dive into the rise of women's sports by hearing how sports investor Carolyn Tish-Blojit is shaping the industry. Come join us and listen to She Pivots on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.