On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Jim Kwik: ON How To Learn Faster, Remember More & Find Your Superpower

Episode Date: February 3, 2020

He was the boy with the broken brain. At least that’s what Jim Kwik told Jay Shetty that he called himself between the ages of 5 and 18 after suffering from a traumatic brain injury that left him with slow brain performance. Today, Kwik is one of the top brain and learning experts in the world, and he’s a man on a mission. Listen in as Kwik and Jay Shetty talk about tapping into the unlimited potential of the human brain. Text Jay Shetty 310-997-4177 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, it's Debbie Brown, host of the Deeply Well Podcast, where we hold conscious conversations with leaders and radical healers and wellness around topics that are meant to expand and support you on your wellbeing journey. Deeply well is your soft place to land, to work on yourself without judgment, to heal, to learn, to grow, to become who you deserve to be. Deeply well with Debbie Brown is available now on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Namaste. I am Dr. Romani and I am back with season 2 of my podcast, Navigating Narcissism. This season we dive deeper into highlighting red flags and spotting a narcissist before they spot you.

Each week, you'll hear stories from survivors who have navigated through toxic relationships, gaslighting, love bombing, and their process of healing. Listen to navigating narcissism on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Danny Shapiro, host of Family Secrets. It's hard to believe we're entering our eighth season, and yet we're constantly discovering new secrets.

The variety of them continues to be astonishing. I can't wait to share 10 incredible stories with you, stories of tenacity, resilience, and the profoundly necessary excavation of long-held family secrets. Listen to season eight of Family Secrets on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. You know learning how to learn I think it's a super power if there's one skill to master the 21st century you know with all this

change that's going on rapid change it's the only constant is just how do you learn it and absorb it and think differently and apply it. And so I started studying neuroscience and adult learning theory multiple intelligences. Anything I get my hands on, pneumonic, speed reading everything, and then about six days into it, I like to switch one on, and I start to understand things for the very first time. Hello everyone. I am so grateful to introduce you to my guest today. He is none other than the world memory expert, optimal brain performance coach and someone that I love to call a very dear friend.

His name is Jim Quick. He has worked with leading organizations and leading individuals all over the world But more than all of that from when I connected with Jim We hit it off right away. He has this beautiful energy and presence about him and more than all of that He's an extremely humble soul So I'm really touched and excited to introduce you to someone who I hold in the highest regard for his deep expertise excited to introduce you to someone who I hold in the highest regard for his deep expertise in the brain, in memory, in self-improvement, but also as a very dear friend. So Jim, I'm so grateful and honored to be speaking with you.

Jay, this is a real privilege. Thank you for having me. Now, absolutely, the privilege and honor is all mine. And you're always traveling all over the world, sharing advice tips. And this is one thing I was saying to people when I launched the podcast, the reason I did it was to sit with people like you. I wanted to sit with people who are deep experts and really understand an area and not just understand it, but live it, breathe it, teach it, give it. And you really embody an expert's mindset for me. So I'm excited to sit with an expert today and dig deeper with you. Thank you. Thank you. I believe that the life that we live are the lessons that we teach

other people and going through. I mean, life is like the best seminar in the world. And so there are a lot of lessons here. So I'm excited about this and thank you everyone who's joining us. Yeah, me too. And for the people that don't know, you may not know your story. I want to dive in a little bit into your story. I remember we spoke about it last time we were together we were in Sardinia, during the Mind Valley event. And I remember having dinner one night. I think everyone was crazy partying, drinking and dancing and me and Jim were in this corner of a table just having this really meaningful exchange. But you started off talking about how even though today you're teaching learning

to absolutely the most incredible minds on the planet and everyone in the world. But your journey actually started off differently, right? You actually struggled at school. I did. When people see me on stages that we've shared together or on video, they'll see me do these mental feats, right? Memorize, all the 100 people stand up

and memorize their names, or 100 names, or 100 numbers, or 100 words, forwards and backwards, but I always tell people, I don't do this to impress you, I do this more to express to you what's possible because the truth is every single person who's listening today can do that and so much, so much more. I mean, we've discovered more about the human brain,

you know this, more than the past 10 years and the previous thousand years combined. And we're grossly, we found we're grossly under estimate your own capabilities and our own superpowers as you were. And I really do. I love your work because I feel like in this age of information, we're drowning in data, we're drowning in information, but we're starving for real wisdom. And so that's why I really appreciate it.

But as you know, I grew up with learning difficulties. Some people are surprised to hear at the age of five I had a bad accident, had trauma, brain injury, and I had these learning challenges if you were. You know, I had bad focus. I had no memory to speak of. I didn't, teachers would have to repeat themselves four or five, six times.

And then I wouldn't get it. I would pretend to understand. And I don't know if anyone could relate to that. But I had this like imposter syndrome when I was a child. It took me actually a few years to learn how to read. I don't talk about this, but in school, in elementary school, all my friends, they got invited to be part of this mass program. I always played with all the Dungeons and Dragons, comic book eeks and the

only difference with them and me is I didn't have the grades. They're really, really smart, right? But there was this group called MASSP and MASSP stands for more Abel student program. And it was me and my friend Joey, we weren't invited in this program, so we created our own little group, our own click, and we called it last. We were the less able student program. And so I remember at the age of nine, a teacher pointing to me talking to another adult saying, that's the boy with the broken brain. And that was my label. And anyone who has a child or anyone who was a child at one point in their life, parents

have to be very careful with the words they use because your external words become a child's internal words and that became my internal talk. Every time I wasn't picked for the soccer team, every time I did badly on a quiz and a test, which was all the time, I always said, oh, it's because I have the broken brain. And that became my internal conversation. And I always tell people if you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them. If you argue for those limits, they're yours. And I had that all through school. I had such a bad fear of, I get to keep them. If you argue for those limits, they're yours. And I had that all through school. I had such a bad fear of, I was painfully shy,

not just introverted, but shy. Because when you, when you feel like you're broken, you know, feel like you haven't, anything to add in terms of values. I didn't have a lot of friends. I would just watch people and study them and just wonder why was this person, so successful at school

or have, you know, so popular or picked for all these teams and maybe it's painfully shy. I would actually, I remember, I don't talk about this a lot, but I, my, they pulled my parents in my English class in high school and I was failing. And they was like, the teachers said, okay, I'll give you one chance You're this extra credit report and you know and it was on Einstein and DaVinci and you know and I didn't know anything about them But this is what's gonna allow you to pass and I was so excited because I put all my energy in there for months And I did this book report and that and I've never put all of my talent and time and focus into one project before and The day I had to turn it in, I had to professionally bound.

I mean, it was like so proud of it, because I'd never been good at anything. And at the end of class, the teacher's like, I have a surprise for everybody. Jim come up in front of the class and tell everyone about Einstein and DaVinci. And I was so scared. I didn't realize I had to give a talk,

like a book report on this. So I said, I lied, I said I didn't realize I had to give a talk, like a book report on this. So I said, I lied. I said I didn't do it. And after three months of pouring my heart and everything into it, my potential, if you will, I just, I lied. I said, and do it because I was so fearful of getting in front of a group of people. I know fear of public speaking is a big deal for a lot of people. And after, you could look at the teacher's face, she was so disappointed.

And I was disappointed in myself also. And after the class left, I remember taking it out of my backpack and throwing it into the trash. And I felt like when I did that, I was also throwing away something else, like maybe my dreams, if you will. But at the age of 18, I thought I could turn it all around. I was lucky enough to get into a college university. I wanted to make a fresh start and show my family, show the world,

show myself I could do it, and I did worse. And at that time, I just doubled down and I was just ready to quit. And then friends, like, hey, why don't you get to perspective before you tell your family you're quitting school, come visit my family this weekend. I'm going home and I did. The family was pretty well off and happy and successful, if you will. The father walks me around his property and says, Jim, how's school? The worst question you could ask me. I just start bawling. I tell my whole story about the broken brains. Jim, why are you in school? What do you want to be? What do you want to do? What do you want to have?

What do you want to share in the world? And I was saying, how many? Clue. Because it's funny when you don't ask yourself that question, you don't have answers. You know, those are conversations that I had growing up. And I go to answer them and it takes out, he says, stop. He takes out a piece of paper out of his back pocket

and makes me write it down. And you know how important it is to write and reflect. I've never did that before. But when I was done, I had this bucket list of all the things that I want to accomplish. And when I started folding the sheets and he grabbed it out on my hand, and he started to reading it. And I'm freaking out because I wasn't expecting him to look at my deepest dreams. And when he's done, he's like, Jim, you are this close to everything on that list.

And he spreads his fingers about a foot apart. And I was like, no way. Give me 10 lifetimes. I'm not going to crack that list. He takes his fingers and he puts them to the side of my head. Meaning what's in between is really the answer, the key, the bridge, if you will, which was my brain. And he walks me into a room of his home. And to a room I've never seen, you would love it.

It's wall to wall, sailing the floor, covered in books. And I'm phobic of books, right? I mean, I'm just not a good reader, never finished a book in my life. I had bad time. Yeah. And this is like, now I read phobic of books, right? I mean, I'm just not a good reader and I've finished a book in my life. Had bad time. Yeah, and this is like, I mean, now I read a book a day, and I'm so, they're my best friends. But they're like, you know, a lot of people say snakes. It's like being a room full of snakes, but makes a worse. He starts grabbing snakes and handing them to me. And I should look at these titles and their classics. There's these incredible biographies of men and women

in history. And some very early personal growth books like Norman Vincent P All the power of positive thinking the al-Karnicky. I mean Napoleon Hill all the classics, right? He's like Jim I want you to do one book a week and I was like no way. I'm fighting for my limitations I can't do that. I have so much school work and he's looking at me like Jim Don't let school get in the way of your education and I didn't realize this was a Mark Twain quote at the time It's like over 25 years ago. And I was like, that's really insightful, but I still, I can't commit to this. If I'm going to commit to it, I'm going to do it. And

very smart man, he reaches into his pocket and he still has my bucket list. And he starts reading every single one of my dreams out loud. And I don't know what it was, Jay, just hearing, imagine you're this insecure 18 year old kid. And you start hearing your deepest dreams. You've never articulated out loud. Yourself much less. You hear from another man's voice, and can't it out into the universe, and it messed with my mind and my heart, something fierce.

And honestly, a lot of the half that list were things I wanted to do for my family. My parents immigrated here from Asia. I mean, typical story we lived in the back of a laundry mat and speak the language and have any money, education, any of that. And I just, I wanted to do stuff for my family that they sold because of all their sacrifice. And with that leverage and understanding

the importance of drive and motivation to get to do. I'm very curious what motivates people to do things. To take, I don't believe knowledge is power at all. You know, all the, it's potential as the potential to be power, right? You know, but all the podcasts, online programs, coaching, seminars, none of it works unless we work it. And so with that motivation, I read, read one book a week. So fast forward, I'm back at school and I'm sitting at my desk. I have a pile of books I have to read for midterms and I have a pile of books that I promise to read and I couldn't even do one pile of books So what do I do? I sacrifice I don't eat. I don't sleep. I don't work out. So it's been time with friends

I don't I live in the library and I just Not very sustainable and I end up passing out one night at a sheer exhaustion. I fall down a plate of stairs in the library, hit my head again, and then I wake up two days later in the hospital. And at this point, I've lost all, I've lost, I've been down a hundred and seventeen pounds as scary as point in my life ever. I thought I'd died. And you know, when you have a near-death experience, I mean, it makes you think about like deep about who you are. And I think a lot of people have, you know, obviously, near-life experiences where they're not, they're not, you know, stepping into that place.

But, maybe ask a new question, you know, why am I here? Why am I struggling like this? And I didn't have any answers. It's like, man, I have a really slow brain. And then, at that time, you know, the nurse came in with a mug of tea and it had a picture of the same one, the person I did, the book report on,

is Albert Einstein. And there was a quote on there. I felt like he was speaking to me. It said, the same level of thinking that's created your problem won't solve your problem. And I was like, well, what's my problem? I have a very slow learner. I'm a very slow brain.

It's like, well, how do I think differently about it? Well, maybe I can learn how to learn faster. Maybe I can learn how to have a faster brain. And I put my studies aside, and I just start studying learning, learning how to learn. I think it's a superpower. If there's one skill to master in the 21st century, with all this change that's going on, rapid change,

it's the only constant is just how do you learn it and absorb it and think differently and apply it. And so I started studying neuroscience and do learning theory and multiple intelligences. Anything I get my hands on, pneumonics, speed reading everything, and then about six days into it, I like to switch one on,

and I started to understand things for the very first time. I mean, it was just like, and I remember, I never talk about this, but I remember the time, the moment it happened, it was, we were in class, it was about 300 people in a lecture center. And back then, there were these overhead projectors, right? And with these pulling, and then

Professor put something on the overhead projector and a few seconds into it, I just start laughing. And I'm so quiet, I'm the quiet one in class. I do everything to not. If I was to have one super power back in school, it was invisibility. Like I didn't wanna be seen, I mean I wanted to be seen, I wanted to be heard, but I didn't want this spotlight. And so, because when you're broken and you feel like you're not enough, you don't want that attention.

But I start laughing out loud, really loud, and everyone turns around and looks at me. And I'm freaking out, like oh my my goodness, I didn't realize it. And then about 30 seconds into it, other people started laughing. There was this ripple effect, and we were laughing at what was on the screen, but I had just read it and learned it really fast, right at that moment. And I didn't realize it at the time. But with my grades, when my grades improved, my life improved.

And here's the thing, when my inspiration really was my desperation. You know, how I ended up on this path all those years ago was I couldn't help but help other people, right? You talk about your passion and my passion became learning, but my purpose also became teaching, you know, sharing with other people, because I felt really upset that I wasn't taught this back in school and I had to go through all that suffering and struggling every single day You know sometimes crying myself to sleep not feeling I was enough and so I started helping other individuals and

I don't share this story very often, but I didn't know how to help other individuals So I was like, okay, I'm gonna I was walking and like doing this meditation around campus And I noticed there was this classroom that wasn't being used late at night on a Thursday night and I was like, okay, I'm gonna I was walking and like doing this meditation around campus and I noticed there Was this classroom that wasn't being used late at night on a Thursday night and I was like, okay I'm next week I'm gonna put five or ten people in that room teach them for free and then maybe afterwards one or two of them want to be my Students and I can two to them and then

I go back to my dorm room and I take out a piece of paper and I write free speed reading, memory tips, get better grades and less time. Thursday, 7 p.m. and the next morning, this is like my first, you know, opportunity to share this. Next morning I make some photo copies and on the way to class, just put some around the campus, not a lot. And then fast forward to Thursday, 7 o'clock, I go, I'm walking around the hallway, I'm just hoping five people showed up were interested in this. I turn the corner and there's a crowd of people outside the door. I'm freaking out because I was honestly, I was like, I hope whatever's going on in soon so I can do my thing.

I go up to there and there's a crowd of people on. I can't even see inside because there's a big tall guy. I was like, what's going on inside? He's like, there's this crowd of people. And I came in and see inside, because there's a big tall guy. I was like, what's going on inside? He was like, there's a speed reading class. And honest to God, Jay, I was like, wow, what a coincidence. What are the odds? There's another speed reading class,

the same room, the same night, the same time. And I push my way in and there's rooms full of people, people standing in the back, but nobody's teaching. And it takes my slow brain all that time to realize why they're all there. And I do a head count. And instead of five or 10 people, there's 110 people.

Now keep in mind, I'm phobic, I'm public speaking, I'm 18 years old. I look really young, I'm wearing t-shirts shorts, I'm nothing prepared to talk about. And there's teaching assistants in their graduate students. And my heart's beating on my chest. I can't even breathe.

And so I leave, because I can't do it. And I will go to this found, and I've always meditated. In my life, it's just something more of my nature, because I spend so much time in my imagination to myself as an introvert. And when I was meditating, I heard this voice inside my head, and it's my mom's. And she says, I won't tell you exactly what she says, but essentially it's like 100 people

came out because you promised to help them. And you're disappointing them, you're disappointing me. And I'm doing this walking meditation back to my dorm room and I stop. And I take one step back to the classroom. And is in an interesting, that one step in another direction can completely change your destination, or your destiny, right? And I go back, and honestly, as a memory expert at some embarrassing, I don't even remember what I talked about.

I mean, I don't know how you are on stage, but sometimes it just flows through you, right? Right, yeah, and I remember, you know, on stage we waneed our, he's like, he never preps, he just, he just, you know, praises servant, just comes right through. And after two hours, I come out of this trance. And I was just like, okay, but I remember when I said then,

consciously, I was like, oh, I don't know if I can help everybody here, but it'll take about 10 hours for me to teach you some of the things that I'm doing, two hours a week, you know, over the next five weeks. And I just said, I get $30 an hour to teach us, that's what I got teaching tennis back in high school. If you're interested in me in the students at our tomorrow at noon, and then I swear to Jay, Andre people just get up and they leave.

And they know no interaction at all. And I am, I feel two things. Number one, I feel completely confused. I'm just like, what happened? Did everyone just, not, did I just, what did I say while this was going on? And did I just, was I complete idiot? and then the other feeling ahead was complete exhaustion because you know when you get yourself to do something you never thought you could do Like you know whether it's public speaking or or talking to that person that you're always you know Did you're attracted to or starting that business or jumping out of that plane or whatever I was completely exhausted mentally

Emotionally physically and I end up falling asleep on the floor on that carpet. It was the best sleep of my life I've ever had to this day. And I got woken up by the class coming in the next morning. And I immediately scary you, like, drooling on yourself, looking up and seeing, like, class students. And I run back to my dorm room. And I shower, I go to breakfast, go to class, 12 o'clock coms. I promise to people I'd be in the student center. I run there and I just hope one person is there and when

I get there, that crowd is there, showed up. And at the end of about an hour or two, 71 of the 100 kids signed up for a program that didn't even exist. And I was at a price point of $300 because I didn't even do to do anything, I'm not going to do anything. I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything,

I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not going to do anything, 18 years old and I have 21,000 dollars cash in my backpack. And I go back to my mentor as wisdom saying, don't let school get in the way in education and I feed my body because I lost all that weight, but mostly I use that to invest in feeding

my mind. And I buy every book, every audio cassette at that time, there's no, everything wasn't digital. I travel the world to learn my craft. And the reason why I do this today is because one of those students, 71 young adults, she was a freshman, she read 30 books in 30 days. I mean, can you imagine going online and picking up 30 books, you know, and just absorbing, not skim it, but just really understood it, and I wanted to find out not how, but why, going back to motivation,

and I found out that her mother was dying of terminal cancer, and was only given to 60 days of live, two months of live, doctors. And so I wished her well, prayers, six months later, I got to call from this young lady, she's crying, crying, crying. I can't get a word out of her, and I find out their tears of joy that her mother not only survived, but is really getting better. Doctors don't know how or why.

They called it a miracle. But her mother attributed 100% to the great advice she got from a daughter who learned her from all these books. And that's why I realize that that moment of knowledge is power. Learning is your superpower. And it's a superpower we all have inside of us. And I devoted my life to showing people how to unlock

and unleash it. I'm Jay Shetty, and on my podcast on purpose, I've had the honor to sit down with some of the most incredible hearts and minds on the planet. Oprah, everything that has happened to you can also be a strength builder for you if you allow it. Kobe Bryant.

The results don't really matter. It's the figuring out that matters. Kevin Haw. It's not about us as a generation at this point. It's about us trying our best to create change. Louren's Hamilton. That's for me being taking that moment for yourself each day, being kind to yourself,

because I think for a long time I wasn't kind to myself. And many, many more. If you're attached to knowing, you don't have a capacity to learn. On this podcast, you get to hear the raw real-life stories behind their journeys, and the tools they used, the books they read, and the people that made a difference in their lives so that they can make a difference in hours. Listen to on purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast,

or wherever you get your podcasts, join the journey soon. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on IHART. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University and I've spent my career exploring the three-pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions,

so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Intercosmos with David Eagelman on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The therapy for Black Girls Podcast is the destination for all things mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible

versions of ourselves. Here, we have the conversations that help black women dig a little deeper into the most impactful relationships in our lives, those with our parents, our partners, our children, our friends, and most importantly, ourselves. We chat about things like what to do with a friendship ends, how to know when it's time to break up with your therapist and how to end the cycle of perfectionism. I'm your host, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, and I can't wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday. Listen to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcasts on

the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Take good care. So I get a little choked up thinking about that, but that's my mission. The boy with the broken brain, I just want to know brain left behind. I want to show people really what they're capable of and that we all have genius inside of us. That it's not how smart you are. It's really how are you smart. And we've had this conversation, you know, with, and that's what I feel like people are looking for that. Yeah, I love that, man. That's, yeah, listening to it in full, like that. And I'm sure there's so much more, but thank you for so much for showing those stories as well. They're really powerful. And the the genuineness and sincerity with which you're doing this just comes across really naturally.

I can feel the energy. It's not even a and I already knew that about you, but it's not about anything else apart from no brain left behind. I love that. But yeah, let's let's look at that a bit more. And I want to unpack parts of that story because I think that a lot of people are listening right now while watching right now and they're saying Jim, I feel exactly how you felt. Yeah, right? I was the same

I never felt I liked reading growing up because we only read fiction books at school Right. I've never been a fan of certain types of fiction that we were exposed to at school. And when I got exposed to nonfiction when I was 14, I got fascinated with reading, and I just kept reading and reading and reading. Because I loved reading about real people and real stories. And at the same time, I've been fascinated by superheroes or magic, but we never read books like that, fiction books like that at school. So, right. So I also had challenges with what I loved and what I didn't love and what I believed. So our biggest challenges, you know this,

I know this, are around our beliefs, are around what we believe is possible. Right. You had a eight, from eight years old to 18, that seems like a really tough time in your life in terms of your projections of yourself, your beliefs about yourself, what is your advice now to people who have those limiting beliefs?

How do they start that journey or that process of opening up their minds or whatever you feel is right for them? I really do feel this is one of the most important conversations people can be having right now because to create any kind of results in our life, we need to behave a certain way. But in order to do a behavior, we need to believe that enables that to happen. And I think the nature of a lot of the work that we do is about transcending. I mean, I say we, I mean everyone who's here in this community, it's about transcending, it's about ending the trans. Ending this massive noses through marketing, through media that says that you're broken.

You know, exactly what I experience as a child that you need to be fixed, that there is something wrong with you. And I feel like, you know, all this fear of not feeling like you're enough is the root of a lot of challenges because in actuality, we're not so much a thermometer reacting to the environment all the time as we are thermostat and our beliefs are kind of like the temperature we're setting. And when we said a goal or a belief or vision for something, the environment changes, but I think people make them kind of money that they believe that they are worth, that they are in the kind of relationship or lack

thereof, maybe because of what they believe about, you know, relationships or they believe about who they are, and how valuable that they are, or maybe even the state of health, right? That power of a belief or a placebo that people could change the level of health just by having a certain thought. And we know that there's a biology to belief also as well. And so what I know in my experience of having students in over 180 countries working with children with the most severe learning challenges to adults, I never talk about this. My grandmother died of Alzheimer's.

And so that affects your beliefs when you're a child, along with my brain injury, labeled the broken brain. I remember going to see my grandmother and she would call me by my brother's name. I would remember talking to my grandmother about something and then two minutes later, we're talking about the same exact thing. And people who know, who've had this experience and who doesn't know somebody who has been affected by dementia or Alzheimer's, it's like you lose your mind, you lose part of who you are, your identity. And so all those things affect your belief about what is possible.

So the reason why I do these demonstrations on stage is to really shake up what people feel is possible. But I know, and this is what research shows, that regardless of your age, your background, your career, your education, your financial situation, your gender, your history, your IQ, only about a one-third according to research is pre-intellect, your potential, your memories predetermined by genetics and biology. But two-thirds is in your control. Now some people would say 100% is in your control, you know, epigenetics and your beliefs, the power of it. But at research, you know, traditionally

it's taking two thirds is you have more influence than you think that it's not. Dude, that's just good enough. Exactly. That is not, it's not, you know, the whole mindset between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset is that, that is not set. Like, or IQ when you take an IQ test when you're a child, it's not what you're set for life. It's not fixed like your shoe size. And plus, you know, the beliefs around IQ, people feel like that that's a standardized test could, this is your potential. I mean, that's a ludicrous, right? That's something like that is set. And so, I think when we're talking about beliefs, all of it has to do with our culture and what our influences were imprinted on early on. And I also believe part of it has to do with our self-talk. I remember I was preparing to run a marathon with a name like Quick and people talk about my name.

I didn't change my name to do what I do. It's my father's name, my grandfather's name. That's so cool. So it's something that I was born with. And I would say that when I was running this marathon, I read this chapter in a book on the psychology of it, and it said this word for word, because I'm a memory expert. It said, your brain is like a supercomputer, and your self-talk is a program it will run. So if you tell yourself you're not going to remember names, you will not remember the name and the next person you meet because you program your supercomputer not to.

And you know, I always tell people, your mind is always eavesdropping on yourself talk. It's always listening. You know this. If people knew how powerful their minds were, like right now when people are listening to this, you have hundreds of millions of neurons firing off. And they say a person's mind, one stretch by a new idea never regains its original dimensions, neurogenesis, neuroplasticity.

We're always thoughts that brain cells that wire together, they wire together, they wire together, these thoughts are things. And so I would say if you knew how powerful your mind's really were, you wouldn't have a thought or say something you didn't want to be true. And now that's not to say you have one negative thought and it ruins your life, right? Any more than eating a donut ruined your life, you know, like into your body, but it's the habit of doing it, right?

We talk about habits like meditation and working out and eating right and gratitude, but you know, what about the habits of our feelings, the emotional habits that we have, what about the habits of our thoughts that work? The things we're saying to ourselves all the time inside, like I have a friend, You know, what about the habits of our feelings, the emotional habits that we have, what about the habits of our thoughts that were, the things we're saying to ourselves all the time inside. Like, I have a friend, like, you know, I feel like we ask these things all the time, we have these thoughts that we have to be conscious of in order to change, but, and we have certain thoughts

that are just constant, like, like, these dominant ones. And I remember, my friend of mine, we went through this exercise and her primary thought is, how do I get people to like me? Like can you imagine if you ask yourself hundreds of times a day consciously or unconsciously, how do I get people to like me? Like, Jay, you don't know this person.

You don't know her age, her background, her career, her financials. You don't know anything about her, but you know everything about her, right? If somebody's asking them constantly like, subsl selves, how do I get people to like me? I mean, what's that person like? What's their personality? They're always, they're people, please, they're personalities changing, depending on who they're spending time with. They're a martyr.

They're always looking to serve. You know all that stuff because you know one of their thoughts, because thoughts are things. I would ask people to evaluate your beliefs, your self-talk, because it runs these programs. And it's so, once you're conscious of it, you can make changes. Like, you know, I don't have a great memory yet. You know, simple, simple three letter word at the end of a sentence changes everything. Because words have power.

You know, there's even this little peppy I have is that, you is that people talk about nice and they talk about kind, but those are two completely different things like night and day. In terms of what motivates somebody who's nice, a person who's nice could treat somebody who's going through a bad day or a homeless person, they could treat them nice, but somebody who's kind is different. They invest their time, their caring, their work. You know, a nice person does things when they have the time, a kind person does, they make the time to do things, right?

A nice person is more... It's a beautiful distinction. Externally motivated, meaning somebody who's nice, usually sometimes they play Kate, they don't wanna create waves, they don't wanna upset anybody, because they don't wanna look bad. But somebody who's kind, they're more internally motivated. They don't want to upset anybody because they don't want to look bad.

But somebody who's kind, they're more internally motivated. They do what's right because out of caring and compassion, because a nice person might not recognize the broccoli in your teeth because they don't want to create anything, but a kind person will be like, hey, you got something there. Or the quality one, your stuff, they'll tell you what you need to hear because they'll speak the truth because I'm not trying to get validation. You know, that's a beautiful thing.

And so, like, little distinctions and words, even things like, you know, people say all the time, I gotta pick up the kids, I gotta journal today, I gotta meditate, but you change that word, got to get. Oh my goodness, I get to pick up my kids, I get to work out today, I get to eat right, I get to meditate. So, you get to eat right, I get to meditate. So, you know, those words affect how we think,

and the effect our core beliefs. And so I would say one of the fundamental places to changing those that belief is to really be conscious of your thoughts, especially those automatic, they call me ants, automatic negative thoughts, right? You wanna be able to squash those ants, because it's definitely good for your brain. I love that. Yeah, no, and I couldn't agree with you more. I couldn't agree with you more. It's incredible how simple it sounds and seems even though it has such a profound effect on us.

Right? It is. Like it has such a profound effect. Like changing, adding that three letter word yet. Right. Right. Just that small thing, and I've such a huge impact, but we need to give this attention in our lives, because otherwise that negative self-talk has been playing for so long that it could just keep going on in the background. Right, and we don't even know where it came from, even when we're children, so we're not.

And I feel like that in order to be able to make any kind of change, you have to recognize what it is, otherwise, then we're at and I feel like that in order to be able to make any kind of change you have to recognize what it is otherwise then Where the effect of it then then we're going back to being a thermometer if you were and that would that would be a big challenge But then you would call it fate when it's really you know, you begin this awareness having those distinctions I'm Dr. Romani and I am back with season two of my podcast Navigating Narcissism. Narcissists are everywhere and their toxic behavior in words can cause serious harm to your mental health.

In our first season, we heard from Eileen Charlotte who was loved by the Tinder Swindler. The worst part is that he can only be guilty for stealing the money from me, but he cannot be guilty for the mental part he did. And that's even way worse than the money he took. But I am here to help. As a licensed psychologist and survivor of narcissistic abuse myself, I know how to identify the narcissists in your life.

Each week, you will hear stories from survivors who have navigated through toxic relationships, gaslighting, love bombing, and the process of their healing from these relationships. Listen to navigating narcissism on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Conquer your New Year's resolution to be more productive with the Before Breakfast Podcast in each bite-sized daily episode, time management and productivity expert Laura Vandercam teaches you how to make the most of your time, both at work and at home.

These are the practical suggestions you need to get more done with your day. Just as lifting weights keeps our bodies strong as we age, learning new skills is the mental equivalent of pumping iron. Listen to Before Breakfast on the I Heart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. A good way to learn about a place is to talk to the people that live there. There's just this sexy vibe and Montreal, this pulse, this energy. What was seen as a very snotty city. People call it Bose-Angulous. New Orleans is a town that never forgets its pay. A great way to get to know a place

is to get invited to a dinner party. Hi, I'm Brendan Francis Newton and not lost as my new travel podcast where a friend and I go places, see the sights and try to finagle our way into a dinner party. We're kind of trying to get invited to a dinner party. It doesn't always work out. I would love that, but I have like a Chihuahua

who is aggressive towards strangers. I love you, dogs. We learn about the places we're visiting, yes, but we also learn about ourselves. I don't spend as much time thinking about how I'm gonna die alone when I'm traveling, but I get to travel with someone I love. Oh, see, I love you too.

And also, we get to eat as much. I'm very sincere. I love you too. And also we get to eat as much as we can see here. I love you too. Might have a lot of therapy girls behind that. You're so white. I love it. Listen to not lost on the iHeart radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And we have to think about what we also want to invest in learning too. Of course. Because I feel like the pressure of, I remember that you've just made me think of this when you do my your school experience every year in my high school, so secondary school,

we call it secondary school, you call it high school, we used to get ranked for every subject out of 180 students and it would be put up in front of everyone. So you'd be ranked against everyone in your peer group out of 180 in every single subject in school. So math, English, biology, chemistry, physics, art, design, English, history, geography, politics, whatever it was. And then you'd be able to see where you were. And I remember there were certain subjects like philosophy, art and design, economics, where I would always perform well. I'd always probably be in the top five, three, and one, more often than not in those subjects. And then subjects like math and English, I was always perform well. I'd always probably be in the top five, three, and one, more often than not in those subjects.

And then subjects like math and English, I was always pretty high, but things like math and geography, I was always kind of in the middle, or maybe towards the latter half. And it's interesting how that, we amplify, that which we're not good at. That's interesting. Right, we, it's like the thing, for example,

you were given the broccoli example, but imagine you dress up to go out to an event. Right. Everyone at the event was just like, oh, Jim, I love your shoes. I love that t-shirt. I love the slogan. And then you get one person who comes up to you and says,

Jim, that slogan makes no sense. And we go home amplifying that one person who said that makes no sense. Why does that happen? And how do we stop that happening? And how do we stop the mind from doing that? Because I actually think more people receive compliments, they receive encouragement, they're receiving support,

but actually our mind tricks us into amplifying and magnifying the one negative piece. It's like in your comments, I'm sure you see it. When you're scrolling through your comments, your mind naturally goes to the critical one. And we see so many social media people, so many influences, so many models, actors, actresses who get consumed by the negative comments on their feet. So how do we stop that from happening? Yeah, I'm really concerned about this digital age. I feel like it serves and enabled. I love knowing what you're up to and it's great

for staying up to date with friends and family and learning and inspiration and I love that. And, you know, we talk about superheroes and superpowers, but they're also, there could be like this super villain in that this digital age, we have digital overload, too much to learn, too little time. We have digital distraction. I mean, goodness, I mean, we're picking up our phone. Every dopamine fix from every light, share, comment, everything, and then you have digital dementia relying on your phone, and it just does everything for you. So you don't have to use your mental faculties as much.

So we're so dependent on that. But then there's this digital depression that's coming from comparison. You see, sometimes we see all the good stuff and we focus on the bad or we see every that highlight curated, filtered life of everyone's incredible life and know that, you know, you won't see this struggle sometimes as much. And that's why I can appreciate your work because it brings, it's full and it's rich, full spectrum.

And I think that one of the challenges is part of your brain through survival, the of this particular activating system that because right now there's two billion stimuli we could be focusing on. I mean, you would go stark rate, mad if you did, right? That flood of information, that noise, if you will. So we could only pay attention to a small bite of information. You know, at Harvard, George Miller said, it's seven plus or minus 2, you know, 5 to 9 bits. You could consciously be aware.

And so what we become aware of, and you're right, a lot of that stuff is the criticisms. It's the, it's the, it's the, it's the negative stuff that, you know, we want to protect yourself from because it's feeding that fear that we're not, we're not enough, right? And then you start asking those kind of questions because you can delete. So primarily your brain, people don't realize it's a deletion device. It's trying to keep things out. So it deletes, it distorts, and it generalizes. And all of a sudden, you see one bad comment out of a flood of maybe 100 people are rooting

for you. And then you obsess about that one thing. And then you generalize, like, that's the real thing. And it's kind of interesting when it comes to your happiness because I feel like people who are generally happy will focus on the glass have full as opposed. At any moment, we could always be sad and depressed and not feel good enough because there's plenty of stuff to focus on. But just also right now, people getting married, people having babies, people who are learning

new things and starting new careers. So it really is a matter of focus. And I think, I did this podcast episode where I was in the power plant and I tell this story about a power plant that's very active and one day it just shuts down. At the middle of nowhere, it just shuts down. And the employees are running around, they're frantic with their heads cut off. And finally, operations manager after three hours says, okay, we got to get some outside down and the employees are running around, they're frantic with their heads cut off and finally

operations manager after three hours says, okay, we got to get some outside help. They call local technician, technicians like you're lucky, I'm right around the corner. Technician shows up and he surveys the power plant for about a few minutes. And there's full beams everywhere. He goes to one specific beam and on there there's all these electrical boxes. He goes to one specific electrical box. He puts a big X with a magic marker on it. He opens it up and there are all these bolts and wires and screws. He goes to one specific screw and he turns it not in a quarter of an inch and all of a sudden the whole power plant lights up again.

And the top range of the measure is like, thank you, you saved our business. You saved the day. How much do I owe you? He was like, that will be $10,000. And he was like, what? You were here for five minutes. All you did was turn a screw. He's like, you know, how can you even justify that? So like, give me an itemized bill. He's like, no problem. Technician reaches his back pocket, takes out his paper, scribbles on it,

tears off the sheet, gives it to him. And he's like, I understand. He goes to his desk right to check for $10,000, hands it to the man. And he basically, and you look at the invoice, if you will, and it says, turning screw $1, knowing what screw to turn $9,999. And the lesson is, for people who are listening, is not that you have a screw loose, is that little things can make a big difference, right? It's like that. It's what I call a focal point,

or a force multiplier, where the same on input, multiple output, or the lead domino, if you will, that could hit a lot of dominoes. And the same thing applies to our focus and our thoughts. And I would say at the core level, people are trying to change their behavior at all times. They want to change, they want to stop smoking, they want to meditate, they want to go for walks or do something with their kids, but you just struggle and will

power only go so far, right? But above that level is this level of capability, you know, and that's why people, like you say, doing the deep work, because people avoid the deep work. But if you don't do that, you know, if you procrastinate, put things off and you just do the easy things, life is hard, we know that. But if you do the hard things, life becomes easier, right? So the capability, so check, you have the skill set on how to be able to do that behavior of stop smoking or meditation and such. Because there's a, there's a confidence, confidence loop that the more confident you get capable, the more confident you get.

Totally. And then you're more likely to do it and get better, so it's possible momentum. But the level above that is the conversation we've been having about beliefs and values because maybe somebody wants the behavior of of let's say meditating every single day and maybe they may be we're trained right up to do it in capabilities but the belief is you know I can't quiet my mind or maybe the value is they don't value being still and silent with themselves or being present with themselves, or maybe the behavior

is they want to remember names better, right? And they maybe and they went through one of our podcasts or something and they got the capability, but the belief is I have a horrible memory, right? Or the value is I don't really care about people, you know, and so that's going to affect the behavior, but people are trying to force it and try to remember names when they should be addressing a different level. But the level of beliefs and values is this level of identity. And you know, you've addressed this before.

It's like the two most powerful words in the English language, the shortest words, I am. Because whatever you put after that is, you know, if somebody would say their behaviors they want to stop smoking, but they, you know, and maybe they have the capability to do it, they even have beliefs or values around health,

but their identity is I am a smoker. That's gonna be a hard change to make. Or maybe they want to stop procrastinating, but their identity is I am a procrastinator. You know, that could be a big challenge for a lot of people. And the last level, I would say below behavior is this level of environment. And the last level, I would say below, behavior is this level of environment. And the environment really is like,

to say somebody as the behavior of they want to, you know, do something like meditate, but their environment doesn't allow them to have time for themselves, or maybe they want to read 30 minutes a day, but the environment doesn't have, you know, too dark or whatever. Now, the big thing going back to pull this off

full circle is the power of beliefs. We talked about the power of questions, because your question is determine what you're focusing on. Your particular activating system, what are you focused on is most real. Now, in school, you learn there are six major core questions, five Ws and the H.

So look at this again, there's these levels of transformation. Identity answers the question of who, right? Beliefs and values answers the question of why. Capabilities answers the question of how behavior answers the question of what and the environment answers the question of when and where. So when you're looking to make complete change, whether it's getting people to read three times faster, remember names, be able to learn another language, be able to meditate, be able to, you know, do any kind of change, start that business. You want to make sure all those levels are aligned. Then you have alignment here, mind, body, and life.

Yeah, absolutely. That point you just met at the end, there is unbelievable because I couldn't agree with you more. Just looking back, it's funny when you've studied something at school and we just take it as like, ah, you know, it was cute and fun, but when you actually break it down like you just explained it and I recommend everyone who is listening, go listen back to that. What Jim just said, because I think it was Gandhi who said that when what you think, what you say and what you do do are aligned that it experience harmony in life. Yeah, and I love that word harmony because a lot of people, they talk about balance and it's going back to like and kind,

somebody who's nice and kind. There's a lot of balance. There's a lot of balance in harmony. Like, somebody people ask, I wanna balance life, but balance when you look up the definition, it balances like an equality, like an equal amount of time and effort. But I don't want to spend the same amount of time at work as I do working out with the

kids and everything, so you don't want an equality there of time. But you want harmony, like an orchestra, right? You have not every single instrument or person has equal amount of time, but they come together and they create this incredible symphony. And I feel like we could do that with our life also as well. And I think that exactly is what you just said. What this everything we're talking about has just been brought back for, circle because our mindset about our life is,

I need everything to be balanced. I need to fit this in. Like the language around, I need to fit something in. Or I need to make time for this, right? And it puts pressure, artificial pressure, and then it feels like we can't balance. Balance kind of feels like you're juggling. Right, there's been lots of plates, there's a lot of.

Yeah, there's been lots of plates. That doesn't feel like a great visualization for the mind or a mindset. And then what you've just said, that actually shifting balance to harmony Right, and you start thinking about it like an orchestra, right? It's like oh wow And hey, so you know the string quartet is playing for that long percussion comes in then et cetera et cetera And it all of a sudden even the visualization of that

Just just comes the heartbeat right now, you know, I do an annual quick brain event and we had in our audience Quincey Jones we actually had Quincey Jones Domago was from you know at the four agreements. I mean the founder were but they're all sitting like and I just like Quincy He comes up and he's 85 years old and I was like tell me about everyone talks about successes We are the world everything. I want what are your biggest struggles? What are the problems you went through and you had overcome? He's like, Jim, I don't have any problems. I'm like, what? Like I mean, everybody has problems. I mean, if you know any problems, you're pretty year six feet under, right? It's like, no, I don't have any problems.

I have puzzles. Another change in word and languaging and all this sudden, you know, for me, a puzzle is like fun. You know, puzzle has a solution to it. Something that I can take on. So that language plays a big role. Even when people aren't going back to that, the level is a transformation. Using words, people say, I am busy. You have to be, I, this is such a peppy for mine. Just like nice and kindness.

This people say, well, you know, I'm just so busy. And it's like they get this secondary gain of significance. You know, because the meta-level message you're sending somebody when you're busy, saying you're busy, it's like, oh, I'm really important and successful. And for me, like, people will have this badge of honor

saying they're busy all the time. And then they wonder, you know, they design their whole life around being busy, and they wonder why they're stressed all the time, that they have anxiety, that they're not getting any sleep, but we're constantly programming it with our thoughts all the time. What's your switch for busy? That is so, you do have one, what do you use?

Minds productive. I like that. I like that. Minds productive. So when someone says, how's your week been? I mean, it's been productive because when I say productive, I feel empowered. I feel a bit effective. And with what we teach, you know, people, I don't share this publicly,

but I have very bad sleep apnea. And so besides my learning challenges, so my two biggest challenges growing up as a kid were learning and public speaking. And the universe has a sense of humor because of what I do every day is public speak on learning. But of recent, I've been struggling with sleep apnea. And usually it's caused by someone being overweight

because they have this excess weight around their neck, so it's hard to breathe. And that's not my case. It's genetic, and I stop breathing 200 times a night, and each time is at least 10 seconds. So I went to UCLA and I was like, no wonder the doctor is like, you're not sleeping. It's like somebody coming in with a pillow and suffocating you 200 times a night and y'all'm waking up because I can't breathe. And I use a CPAP device, a dental device.

I flew down to be spent two weeks with John of God in Brazil. I mean, I've done all of this stuff, but I do believe that if anyone's watching this or listening to this right now, that the question I ask, we're talking about the power questions and beliefs is that there's a gift in every struggle. And I ask myself, you know, where's the gift in this? You know, people talk about post-traumatic stress, and I've had post-traumatic stress.

We all had loss, we've all had, you know, loss of level ones, loss of relationships, financial issues, health issues, but I believe that post-traumatic stress, what people don't realize is also post-traumatic growth, that some people, and I'm sure you could identify this, and a lot of your community can also is that you've gone through adversity and difficulty, and it's something you would never wish upon in their soul. But those people come out on the other side. Some people will say, I honestly wouldn't change it. As hard as it was going through it, I have a new meaning in my life, a new strength,

a new clarity, a new life purpose or mission. And that sculpted my soul because I believe that difficult times they can diminish you, they can define you, or they can develop you. And ultimately, we decide. And that's the power we have, that whether or not you believe in faith, certain things that meant to happen, we also have free will to decide what to focus on,

what things mean also as well. So with the sleep apnea, my gift from it is, I search them, like, if I'm only sleeping two hours a night, it's not like I gained six hours of productivity, you're talking about being productive, but my gift is number one, it's forced me to double down on everything I teach. So I have to be very highly productive.

So I can read faster and be all this stuff that I teach and learn because I'm at this disadvantage. So I live, we had started this conversation with the life you live or the lessons you teach. And so I can roll out of bed at four o'clock in the morning and do this because all I have to do is tell people what I'm doing because I don't have to rehearse it.

Because I live it, just like yourself or anyone watching this. But the other thing is not only is the gift was me learning these skills and developing the capability, it's forced me to be very protective of my time. You know what's more talking about being busy. Everything in my life is heaven, yes, or heaven, no. Like right now, there's nowhere I'd rather be than right here with you.

You know what I mean? Because a lot of people who are stressed and overloaded, it's self-inflicted, because they are self-opting and saying, yes, way too much. You know, and we've all read that book good to great, saying no to good, so you can say, yes to great. But a lot of people have too many tabs open in their life. They're saying, yes, yes to great. But a lot of people have too many tabs open in their life. They're saying yes, yes, yes. And a lot of people in this community also do that because they're martyrs. They're helping their friends, their family,

their loved ones, their customers, their clients, but they're not taking care of themselves. And we've all heard self-love and self-careers not selfish that you have to give to yourself before you could give to somebody else. And what I would say to everyone, maybe this is a wake-up call saying that you have opportunity stress. You're saying, yes, wait too much. Is to take care of saying no to things so you could see us to yourself.

And that's what I've learned to be able to do with myself, because I don't have an infinite energy because of my sleep and everything that comes from that. And so through struggles, you know, can lead to strengths, can lead to superpowers for sure. Absolutely. I love that. You've helped so many thousands of people through your teaching, lectures, courses, online, and so many influential people.

I mean, you've worked with everyone from Elon Musk to Wil Smith to Quincy Jones is that you have been, which I didn't know. All of these incredible people you've helped and helped them learn. What have they taught you in the process? What have you learned from them? So I learned something from everyone. With Quincy, not only was it, he's amazing when people find their passion, they use it for purpose. But one of the things

I learned from him is the power of perspective. People don't realize this, but I was, you know, we've been to, I've celebrated eight of his past 10 birthdays and we talk about things. We stay up way late in the night and he speaks 23 languages, which is extraordinary. You know, so there's definitely a correlation between music and languages, you know, that part of your brain, if you will. But what I'm talking about, I've learned from him is the power of perspective, meaning he has this phrase saying, you have to go to know, meaning he travels all around the world because he really, you know, I don't think there would be any kind of prejudice, you know, with with other people, people just travel more, you know, in their mind, even if it's from books or anything,

because when you're exposed to culture and language and food and different things, you learn a deep appreciation for it. So you don't have to tolerate it. You know, tolerance is one thing, but you could actually appreciate and acknowledge and be more accepting of things. And notice that the patterns have how we're all the same also. So the power perspective, and you know, even when I went to my friend's house when I was, you know, ready to quit school, you know, that perspective of changing place and people. Because when you change people place, you can have a different perspective. So I encourage anyone who's struggling right now with a difficult decision or a different situation,

to step out of it, change your place, meaning just even going for a walk, you know, helps, but also changing your people. Because everyone's heard that who you spend time with is who you become. You spend time with nine broke people, you become the tenth, right? But there's a real neuro-science reason.

You have marinara neurons, which is your imitation cells that are always imitating whether people are doing. That's why we empathize. So well, when we're watching a movie, we can feel scared when the person's going through a scary moment or, you know, sports, you can feel what they're feeling. But we also, when we imitate, though, also are those things, their capabilities, their beliefs, we start imitating their values. That's why it's better well done than is well said for parenting, certainly. It's not people. Even in online, I think people who are most successful like yourself, they don't just say it, they show it.

They don't promise that they prove it. I feel like the things that we do is Teach us people more than anything else, especially for children who don't learn You know, my angelus said, you know, people will forget what you say You know, they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll literally they'll free I would you say and they'll free I would you do but they'll always remember how you made them feel You know through your example and so I've learned that from Quincy, you know, from Elon and I actually bonded over sci-fi. Our love of sci-fi books going back to fiction.

A lot of people and I really see- I love sci-fi fiction, but we never had that in school. I know, and so like, you know, so many people in our community, they read nonfiction books. I totally appreciate that. If somebody has decades of experience, they put into a book and you can sit down

in a couple of days or a few days and read that book, you can download decades and days, leaders, readers readers completely. But so much research is coming out, saying if people spend more time reading fiction, it helps with imagination, creativity. By the way, everyone's job right now, because where this digital age is going, you think about AI, artificial intelligence, you think about automation. Everything's being outsourced, right? And you know, to Asia. So it's a 3a, it's automation, Asia, and artificial intelligence. So what's our humanity here? It's what makes us special.

Things that computers aren't gonna do, imagination. You're right, imagination's power. You know, it's Einstein said that. What about creativity? Creativity is like the future belongs to the creatives. But that's not taught in school. School teaches you what to learn math, history, science, Spanish, and poor class on what to learn,

but no class on how to learn. They teach you what to learn and what to think, not how to learn and how to think. Where are the classes on imagination, creativity, listening, concentration, focus, and telling all these different areas? I was just, at least remembering. Teach people how to remember what they learned. Reading, writing, arithmetic, and tell all these different areas. I was just, at least remembering. Teach people how to remember what they learned.

Reading, writing, arithmetic, the three R's, but what about recall, retention? Socrates is learning is remembering, because if we lost half of our memories, we lose like a big part of who we are. And in the other reason why is people I was doing this program at Google, and somebody said, Jim, why do I have to remember all this?

I can just sound our search engine. And this is the truth. If our life is a reflection of decisions we made up to this point, you know, the, the, the, the, the, the, um, the sum of all our decisions, you know, but we can only make good decisions based on the information that we know and remember. But if we forgot half the words we knew,

half the people we knew, half of our expertise, we wouldn't be able to make good decisions for our lives. Good, good, good decisions for our health, good, health, good decisions on our relationship and what to do. And so memory really is a superpower. And so with Elon, I read this book, we were bonding over this book called The Structure of Scientific Revolution. And by the other thing you get from reading fiction is not only creativity and imagination, but also empathy. You know, when you're identifying with the persons in there, you get to feel what their

feelings have built emotional intelligence. So we bonded over Ender's Game and all these great sci-fi books. But then a book we were talking about, Structure of Scientific Revolution, which basically says that all innovation from every industry, fashion, technology, automotive comes from somebody usually outside the industry because it takes somebody from the outside who didn't grow up with the same limiting beliefs and education as someone traditional to look in and say, why aren't you guys doing it like this? So that outside perspective, and you learned from Elon, Stanley recently passed and he was a real superhero in my life. I was there through many times, even when he got his Hollywood star of fame and different

moments. The reason why I was, I taught myself how to read four years and took me a long time by reading comic books. Something about the superhero journey brought the illustrations, the story story brought it to life, towards to life for me. So he's responsible for teaching me literacy. And for me Stan represents, I'll give you three things. For me he represents play because at 95 even like, you know, because I was with him recently, he is later years. He was the youngest old person I knew. You know what I mean? And he and that's I think that's so important because a lot of people say they stop playing because they grow older, but it's the opposite. You grow older because you stop playing. And he was so

playful, you know, so play is a huge lesson for me. Number number, the second P.O. would say is passion. He found his passion. To his later years, even when most people have retired, he had two passions. Number one, he still went to work, nine to five, in his well into his 80s, in early 90s, because he loves telling stories, because he found his passion.

And his other passion was his wife, he was one year older. So the what a role model that is for me. And then finally, the third, he is his passion. And as his passion was his wife, he was one year older. So that the what a role model that is for me. And then finally, the third piece is his purpose. He turned his his passion of superheroes and he turned it into a real purpose, meaning superheroes. You know what the underlying thing about superheroes is for us? I feel like the lesson is one person can make a difference. Totally. You know what I mean? With all their flaws. Exactly.

And the biggest, the most famous superheroes out there, they had the biggest challenges. Most of my favorite superheroes, they were orphans. Spider-Man was orphans. Superman was orphan. Wonder Woman's orphan. Batman was orphans. Iron Man orphaned.

They had the biggest difficulties, you know, and that's the same thing I love about Super. And they really represent hope, you know, look to the sky, you know, one person we could all make a difference. And that's purpose for me, even I was a big supporter of the Stanley Foundation and it was all we did is we brought entertainment and we'd stand in, brought entertainment to the classroom because he knew education by itself, it's just, it's boring.

You can't just lecture to somebody. Kids don't learn just by consuming. They learn through creating. You know, and you talk about this a lot. Education is one thing, but education, if you want real empowerment, you melt education with entertainment, then you have that empowerment.

And Stan was epic in that. The lessons he taught, even back in the 60s, when we lost Marluther King and Kennedy and everything. He talked about, he talked about bigotry, like back in the 60s. Stan, so he was a real role model, because for me, when we're talking about play, we're talking about passion,

we're talking about purpose, it also is about making a difference. Superhero is just having a super power, doesn't make you superhero. Totally. Right? Somebody can have a superhero power. I'm not talking about superpowers, the leaping tall buildings that you need to leave out. Yeah, as we all have our own super unique abilities or unique talents or unique strengths, but just having those don't make you superhero. You have to use those powers to make a difference, to make the world a better place.

And that's what he did through his foundation. Yeah, no, absolutely. His work. Big honor to him and his incredible work. And yeah, teaching so many lessons through superheroes. I know it's comics or movies. I feel exactly the same way. The reason why I love superheroes, super, superhero movies, academics is because I literally look at that and go, they've all got floors, you've had really challenging lives, but they're still trying to save the world, and they're working together. Right, they work together, they work together. That's huge. With all of their floors and with their different traits, they're not, you know, one superior is not looking at the other one going,

I wish I had lasers coming up my ass. Right, right, right. They're happy and confident in their own power, ability, but at the same time, they can appreciate the need for the other one. And that's kind of like any kind of relationship. Even in a marriage or in your team, in your organization, they talk about getting the right people

on the bus and then getting them in the right seats. And then we're all driving through this vision together. But I believe that the greatest thing, I mean, I love books, but I think that single conversation with somebody could go so deep. And so I'm named, I'm naming famous people, like, you know, like a Richard Branson,

or, you know, because the reason why those is not to drop names is because it creates these mnemonic triggers. So when you see this, like, for example, with Jim Carey, you know, I help actors, speed reads scripts or memorizes the lines better. And I remember we were in their kit, like for example, with Jim Carey, I help actors, speed reads scripts, I remember I said lines better and I remember we were in their kitchen, we're making guacamole, which is by the way, great brain food, avocado's great

for your brain. And I asked him like, you know, why do you do what you do? I'm going back to purpose of mission. And he was like, Jim, I act like a complete fool on camera and so extreme because I wanna get people watching permission to be themselves. He's so extreme because I want to get people watching permission to be themselves. He's like, my mission is to free people

from the concern of other people. And I really do believe, Jay, that we could go broke buying into the opinions and expectations of other people that are for it being energized by people's, fueled by other people's opinions, then we could run out of fuel and gas, really, really, really fast. And I think one of the things that represses are really to express ourselves at the highest level

is, you know, I spend a lot because I lost my grandmother to Alzheimer's, I spent a lot of time in nursing home still to this day, to senior centers, not teaching them memory tricks, but really showing them, you know, having them share these stories. And, you know, so we could polish off their memories. But the biggest regret at that, you know, when people are passing, or, you know, that when they have limited amount of time is their biggest regret is, you know, not living their life.

I believe, Jay, for people that feel truly fulfilled and happy, they wanna have the curiosity to know themself, but then also the courage to be themself You know the curiosity to know yourself you reflect you journal you meditate you go through all these personal Growth experiences to know who you are But then once you know more about who you are, you know being who you are It's you know it takes courage it takes boldness because you know

You don't want to look bad and you don't want to make a mistake. And those are big challenges people have. So I don't want people to have that regret because if people are scared about looking bad, I think people should use that fear of saying, well, what if you would have done it, it would change your life? What if you would have done it, it would have changed the world? Absolutely, and we've all been there. Moments where even now, where we stop ourselves. I've got five last big questions for you.

This is it now. So it's, these are the questions. What was the last thing that you learned for the first time? You probably asked that a lot. What was the last thing you learned for the first time? Like recently, what did you learn for the first time again? The, a learner, a re-relearned. Yeah.

I think one of the most important lessons I've ever learned is that I am 100% responsible for my life. I can't really get that lesson over and over again that I'm not a victim, that I am responsible for everything in my life. And I think that's having that really serves people'm having that, you know, really serves people. Awesome. If you could have any superpower, what would it be? And why? Yeah. This is a big one, right?

Yeah. My, I would love to have the superpower of having other people unleash their superpowers. That's some, I'm very, I'm very passionate about that. Self, you know, like the ability to super power to heal other people because we all know somebody who's struggling right now selfishly. It would be the ability to teleport, because you and I travel so much,

and we've seen each other in so many different countries. So, you know, so teleporting would be nice, but the ability to help people on leash their superpower. Same. I'm way beyond that. I want the same one. Yeah, I feel like that's the way. I think the world, modern day superheroes, the world, you I think the world, modern day superheroes, the world,

you know, the world and people, the best version of ourselves showing up. You know, imagine that, like, you talk about it with team, right, in culture, it's just like, yes, Captain America is great on his own, Thoros Grey, I've known Iron Man is great on their own, but when they came all together in the Avengers, or Batman Superman and One Room come together in Justice League,

it's a different story. Absolutely. Absolutely. Okay. This question, best advice you've ever received. Best advice I've ever received. Other one you can remember. Right.

I can remember a lot. I would say going back to my story about my original mentor is not to let school get away education that if you didn't perform well in school, then that's okay. That is not how smart you are. It's really how are you smart? And everybody has, everybody has these gifts. Totally. West advice you've ever given someone? The worst advice I've ever given somebody. Oh goodness. I would say this. I would, I would say this, this is my favorite advice to give somebody, but then there's the caveat of the worst advice. So I'd say

know yourself, trust yourself, love yourself, be yourself. But if you're a jerk, be somebody else. So don't be that person. So that would be the advice to give somebody who's a jerk. Don't be that person. I like it. And if someone wants to become a better learner right now in their life, what's the number one thing that they can do to start that journey? Yeah, I would say this.

Rumi said, sell your cleverness for Bill Wilderman. You know what I mean? People do not learn because they feel like they know it all. And we talked about Stanley and his age, 95. I believe age is a state of mind, is a state of heart. And if you were, you know, the fastest learners on the planet, their children, you know, they have the sense of wonder, the sense of the wilderness. They're fascinating.

They ask lots of questions. They're not afraid of making mistakes. And you know, A child could fall a thousand times to learn how to walk. But sometimes somebody wants to learn how to sing or to dance. They try one or two times, and they have this fear of looking bad. I would say, trade and sell your cleverness for a build environment and play a whole lot more. That is beautiful. And on that, that is Jim Quik, everyone mind blown, absolutely mind blowing. It was absolutely incredible, man. That was just such a pleasure. Enjoy the listen to his feet and stories. Thank you for showing so openly as well. I know you really thank you. Thank you. When they're thank you for that. Thank you, David, and he's listening and watching

because yeah, I would I recommend everyone to listen to this one again and watch it again. Yeah, I would say in parting words is to listen to this, maybe even take a screenshot of this video or podcast and then post it and then tag both of us and then share your big ah-ha. If you want to learn faster, I would say besides being curious and playful is to teach. Oh, tell me about that. When you learn how to, and then you learn with the intention, intention matters. Yeah. When you learn with the intent of teaching somebody else, you're going to learn it faster because when we share,

when we teach something, we get to learn it twice. So I would say if it's appropriate, take a screenshot of it, tag us both, but share your big aha or your big learning. So rewatch it, relisten to it. And that goes a long way. I believe that our life, I compare it to an egg, that if an egg is broken by an outside force,

life ends. But if it's broken by an inside force, then life begins and all great things begin on the inside. And everyone here, they have greatness inside of them. They have genius inside of them. And I love shows like yours because it helps people to let it out. No, absolutely. And it's exactly what you just said. I remember when I was studying as a monk, my biggest inspiration was also a quote from Einstein, who's standing right there behind. The quote was, if you can't explain something simply, you don't understand it well enough. And that's how I would study.

I would study, saying, how do I simplify this to explain it to someone? Yeah. Because if I can explain it to someone, articulate it to them in the way that they can remember it, and they can remember and apply it in their own life again and again and again, then I'll be able to do it too. Interesting. If we're not, no, you're living this, like you're a great example of this, that if we're not unpacking it in that way, then there's no chance that we can live it.

So I love that study to learn. I mean, study to learn, yeah, study to learn, and then when you teach, you learn more too. Yeah, yeah. So we learn, and then we to learn and then when you teach, you learn more too. Yeah, yeah. So we learn and then we earn and then we return. Jim's got it all going on. Yeah. I love it. Thank you so much, Jim.

I'm so grateful, man. Thank you. That's amazing. Thank you to everyone who's watching and listening. Make sure you share this. Jim, where can everyone find you? Where's the best place? If you want to learn from you, they want to go from you.

Where's the best place to go deep with me is on our podcast. It's called Quick Brain. Brain hacks for busy people want to go from you. The best place to go deep with me is on our podcast. It's called Quick Brain. Brain hacks for busy people on a learn faster team more so we do sessions on how to remember names, how to learn languages. In every single episode, it's only 15, 20 minutes tops, how to read a book a day, how to be able to change your habits

and then on social media. I would love to find, connect with people there. We do a lot of things there at Jim Quick, Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. But thank you, thank you for your time. Thank R-Spot. I am Yom Le Van Zant and I'll be your host for The R Spot. Each week listeners will call me live to discuss their relationship issues. Nothing will tear a relationship down faster than two people with no vision. There's y'all are just flopping around like fish out of water. Mommy, daddy, your ex, I'll be talking about those things

and so much more. Check out the R-Spawn on the iHeart video app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hi, I'm Brendan Francis Nuneum, I'm a journalist, a wanderer, and a bit of a bond-vivant, but mostly a human just trying to figure out what it's all about.

And not lost is my new podcast about all those things. It's a travel show where each week I go with a friend to a new place and to really understand it, I try to get invited to a local's house for dinner, where kind of trying to get invited to a dinner party, it doesn't always work out. Ooh, I have to get back to you. Listen to not lost on the iHeart radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. The world of chocolate has been turned upside down. A very unusual situation.

You saw this taxicash in our office. Chocolate comes from the cacountry, and recently, Variety's cacau fought to have been lost centuries ago where we discovered in the Amazon. There is no chocolate on Earth like this. Now some chocolate makers are racing deep into the jungle. Fun the next game-changing chocolate, and I'm coming along. Okay, that was a very large crack it up.

Listen to the obsessions while chocolate. On the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. guest.