On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Khloe Kardashian: ON The Importance Of Putting Yourself First & Making Kindness The New Norm

Episode Date: October 14, 2019

On this episode of On Purpose, I sat down with Khloe Kardashian. Khloe is most well-known for her role on the reality television series Keeping Up With The Kardashians. She shares the importance of t...aking responsibility for your pain, and the need to regularly self-reflect. Khloe reminds us that we should never invalidate other people's feelings, and how to rise above the negativity of social media. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I am Dr. Romani and I am back with season two of my podcast, Navigating Narcissism. This season we dive deeper into highlighting red flags and spotting a narcissist before they spot you. Each week you'll hear stories from survivors who have navigated through toxic relationships, gaslighting, love bombing, and their process of healing. Listen to Navigating Narcissism on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Eva Longoria. And I'm Maite Gomes-Rachon. We're so excited to introduce you to our new podcast. Hungry for history! On every episode, we're exploring some of our favorite dishes, ingredients, beverages from our Mexican culture. We'll share personal memories and family stories,
Starting point is 00:00:46 decode culinary customs, and even provide a recipe or two for you to try at home. Listen to Hungry for History on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. When my daughter ran off to hop trains, I was terrified I'd never see her again, so I followed her into the train yard. This is what it sounds like inside the box-top. And into the city of the rails, there I found a surprising world, so brutal and beautiful that it changed me, but the rails do that to everyone.
Starting point is 00:01:22 There is another world out there, and if you want to play with the devil, you're going to find them there in the rail yard. I'm Denon Morton. Come with me to find out what waits for us and the city of the rails. Listen to the city of the rails, on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Or, cityoftherails.com. I would go on strangers pages and just go, oh my gosh, I love your freckles.
Starting point is 00:01:44 And like, what that would do. I'm like, that's crazy. That just being kind gets so much positive feedback. Like that should just be normal. I think we're just used to people bullying each other. And if someone like I would never go to someone's page to criticize them. Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every single one of you. I'm so grateful to you for your time.
Starting point is 00:02:14 Week in week out, you show up to listen, to learn, and to grow. And it means so much to me that you trust me with your time. And that's why you know that my commitment to you, as my community, as my audience, is to find people that I genuinely connect with, to find people that I believe that can truly help us live more vulnerability, more authentically, more deeply. And today's guest is someone that I can't wait to introduce to you. Now, she genuinely needs no introduction,
Starting point is 00:02:40 so I'm not even going to do that element of the show. But she's someone that I started talking to probably about a year ago now, or maybe a little less, and all of our conversations have been so uplifting, so inspiring, so motivating, everything she posts on social media really speaks to her beautiful heart, and I'm so excited today to unpack that, to unravel that, and discover more about her. And her name is Chloe Kardashian, Chloe. Thank you for being here. Thank you. That was such a beautiful intro.
Starting point is 00:03:09 Thank you. Well, I meant every single word genuinely. Thank you. I'm excited to be here. I really am. And you've been someone I've been dying to meet in person. So this is an honor for me. So thank you.
Starting point is 00:03:18 Well, I'm honored and touched to hear that because the feeling is very, very mutual. And my intention for doing this podcast and reaching out to you to do this was, I love a podcast as an excuse to get to know each other better. And I was also hoping that we have all these secret conversations offline, or online, sorry, online, on Instagram.
Starting point is 00:03:36 And I was like, I wish we could share this with the world. Everything that we talk about, all the things that we believe in, to explore the things we have in common. And for people to get to know the deeper parts of you and all the other messages you have. Well, and it's so, I mean, I know your job is to be positive and uplifting,
Starting point is 00:03:52 but when it is even, we talk through DMs and it's really beautiful when that translates because sometimes it's all about smoke and mirrors and people might project that they're one thing but that's not really what they live and that's entirely who you are. So it's really about smoking mirrors. And people might project that they're one thing, but that's not really what they live, and that's entirely who you are. So it's really great to see that. And even coming into your home and you allowing me
Starting point is 00:04:11 and my film crew and all of us in here, your home is super zen and beautiful. And you have life in here with your trees. And it's just, I mean, it's a great message. Well, thank you. They're wonderful too. I actually said to them before you came. I was just like, I've never met a crew that's so happy.
Starting point is 00:04:24 Yeah. That's such great energy. Like everyone was like smiling. Oh, they're the best. Great conversation. I love that. Yeah, they're the best. And they're like that every single day, and they're dealing with me and my crazy family
Starting point is 00:04:34 with a slew of emotions. So for them to maintain that beautiful energy, it really keeps me very balanced and centered. Yeah, no, it's beautiful. So anyway, the feeling's very mutual. Even your demeanor, the way you came in today, and all the conversations, I mean, I've read some of our conversations to my wife,
Starting point is 00:04:50 and you're just like, like, we're both just so lovely. It's just that you project so much love in the conversations we've had. Thank you. And so that's why I felt compelled to reach out to you. I appreciate it. Yeah, but one of the things you said to me
Starting point is 00:05:01 that stood out in one of our DM conversations was you said, imagine if everyone in the world was 5% kinder And that stuck with me. I was just like wow like yeah imagine if everyone was just 5% kinder like you weren't talking about Oh, let's make everyone the world super kind and you know Tell me what that means to you and like what made you say that and where that came from? Well, I feel I don't know if it's the older I get or the more accessible I am to so many people because of social media nowadays and just that technologies in our hand,
Starting point is 00:05:34 it just feels really heavy. The world feels really heavy and depressing. And if you read statistics from mental health, bullying, violence, everything is escalated. And I think we're too exposed to too many avenues of people and too many ways for people to connect with us. And we are all made up of energy, and when people either take too much from you, it is a ripple effect. And sometimes if someone projected negativity onto you, you just instinctively will project it back it is a ripple effect and it goes to other people. But if we were to be a little more self-aware
Starting point is 00:06:09 and when someone is mean or negative to us, instead of us being combative back, if we were just like, why are you hurting or just even like, okay, and just took it instead of having your ego involved or you have to shout louder, you're not going to be able to do that. And then you're going to be able to do that. instead of us being combative back. If we were just like, why are you hurting or just even like, okay, and just took it instead of having your ego involved or you have to shout louder.
Starting point is 00:06:29 If you just took it, that's even just being kind. I'm not saying people have to go by roses for everyone or whatever, but even opening a door, smiling at someone, you don't even have to talk. It's a universal language that everybody understands. That would give a ripple effect, or even the karma back to you that you're going to receive a little bit more kindness that day. I think it's highly naive of me to say 50 percent or let's, oh, I want everyone to, you know, think that they're surrounded by glitter and unicorns. Like, that's just not reality. It is, and it's also cool when life gets heavy too,
Starting point is 00:07:07 to see how you can manage and filter through it. But that doesn't mean we still have to be horrible people to one another. Yeah, no, I love that. I love what you're saying, because I think we also, and you touched on this, we think being kind means these big gestures or like, I'm gonna save the world,
Starting point is 00:07:24 or you know, doing something really colossal, like,'m going to save the world or you know doing something really colossal like it has to be big and expansive but you're right that we forget and we underestimate how much just a smile, a kind word, a kind message or thinking of someone can just change someone's day and I love those simple things because I think that those are things anyone can do and those are things everyone can appreciate. Whenever I have like a waitress or someone, they are busting their butts to work and their cleaning tables and they're serving you. It's a beautiful thing.
Starting point is 00:07:54 And instead of just like you don't even look up at them if you just look at them, stare them in their eyes and say thank you or you can tell that people are so rude to people in any service industry because they almost get shocked, like that someone's staring directly at me. And as a human, you never wanna feel that you're invisible or that people are looking past you, you want people to look at you. And even just that alone, that makes someone's day
Starting point is 00:08:20 and if someone was having a bad day or feeling like, man, I can't get by, I'm working my ass off and I'm still, people are just, mean to me, it depresses them more. Like, it's like, just look at someone, hey, how are you, thank you so much. Like, that's it. A bus boy, anything, I think we all take for granted how hard everybody works.
Starting point is 00:08:38 No matter what your job is, it's still a job. And just a little smile or a little, hope you're having a nice day. Like, something so simple, it doesn't nothing for you. Like, why does that hurt you? Just do it. And it could really change their entire day. This is what it sounds like inside the box card.
Starting point is 00:08:58 I'm journalist and I'm Morton in my podcast, City of the Rails. I plunge into the dark world of America's railroads, searching for my daughter Ruby, who ran off to hop train. My podcast, City of the Rails, I plunge into the dark world of America's railroads, searching for my daughter Ruby, who ran off to hop train. I'm just like stuck on this train, not knowing where I'm going to end up, and I jump. Following my daughter, I found a secret city of unforgettable characters, living outside society, off the grid, and on the edge. I was in love with a lifestyle and the freedom
Starting point is 00:09:25 this community. No one understands who we truly are. The Rails made me question everything I knew about motherhood, history, and the thing we call the American dream. It's the last vestige of American freedom. Everything about it is extreme. You're either going to die, or you can have this incredible rebirth, and really understand who you are. Come with me to find out what waits for us in the City of the Rails.
Starting point is 00:09:52 Listen to City of the Rails on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Or, cityoftherails.com. I'm Danny Shapiro, host of Family Secrets. It's hard to believe we're entering our eighth season, and yet we're constantly discovering new secrets. The depths of them, the variety of them, continues to be astonishing. I can't wait to share ten incredible stories with you, stories of tenacity, resilience, and the profoundly necessary excavation of long-held family secrets. When I realized this is not just happening to me, this is who and what I am. I needed her to help me.
Starting point is 00:10:34 Something was annoying at me that I couldn't put my finger on, that I just felt somehow that there was a piece missing. Why not restart? Look at all the things that were going wrong. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to season 8 of Family Secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jay Shetty and on my podcast on purpose,
Starting point is 00:11:04 I've had the honor to sit down with some of the most incredible hearts and minds on the planet. Oprah, everything that has happened to you can also be a strength builder for you if you allow it. Kobe Bryant, the results don't really matter. It's the figuring out that matters. Kevin Hawke, it's not about us as a generation at this point. It's about us trying our best to create change.
Starting point is 00:11:28 Luminous Hamilton, that's for me been taking that moment for yourself each day, being kind to yourself, because I think for a long time I wasn't kind to myself. And many, many more. If you're attached to knowing, you don't have a capacity to learn. On this podcast, you get to hear the raw real-life stories
Starting point is 00:11:44 behind their journeys and the tools they used, the books they read and the people that made a difference in their lives so that they can make a difference in hours. Listen to on-purpose with Jay Shetty on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Join the journey soon. Yeah, I remember a huge mistake that I used to make. This was something that I wish I never did, but I did.
Starting point is 00:12:06 And I literally used to walk into Ubers or a Lyfts, and I'd be on my phone, and I wouldn't say anything. Because you've already programmed where you want to go. So you don't need to talk to the person if you don't want it. And I would just walk in. I wouldn't even say hello. And I wouldn't say hello. I wouldn't say, how's your day?
Starting point is 00:12:22 I would greet them. And it took one driver to actually not start driving for like three minutes. And he was like, hello, how are you? Oh wow. And I probably even missed it the first time. And the second I was like, hello, how are you? And he kept asking me.
Starting point is 00:12:35 And it wasn't like the third or the fourth time that I registered because I was so busy. Wow. And I was just like, oh, when? And he was just like, yeah, I just wanted to have it. Just I was telling you where. And it just took me to that where I was like, I can even just, just saying hello.
Starting point is 00:12:47 Now, I'm not saying you need to get into a big life story conversation with your live driver, but the point being that I think there's still humans. Correct. Right. And I think because of our phones and we're so busy, but remember, we all operated before our phones. Somehow, so life goes on.
Starting point is 00:13:03 Do you remember that, though? I do, and I miss that time. I do feel bad for like my little sisters who I don't think will ever, I don't think they ever knew that time, because they were too young. They didn't, they wouldn't have a phone at that age anyway. But we forget that we're all humans. And I also, yes, of course, we don't want to have, like sometimes we're just tired and we don't want to talk.
Starting point is 00:13:22 I get it, but I also just by, you, most people can be room readers. So if you go in the car like, Hey, how are you? And that's kind of it. If you even just, if they keep engaging, you're not being rude, you could still kind of just give short answers and hopefully they'll kind of get the clue. Yeah. And stop talking to you. And if not, you know, maybe they just need someone to talk to you.
Starting point is 00:13:43 Yeah, definitely not encouraging anyone to get into a life story conversation. Just be human. I think you put it best. Yeah, be human. We talk a lot about self-care, self-worth in our conversations. I see you post these amazing stories and that's how I actually found out I remember once you posted one of my videos and I was just like, oh wow, like I just felt very humbled and touched.
Starting point is 00:14:02 But you share so many other people's and I think you do such a great job of encouraging creators like myself as well in sharing that. And not just me, and I know you share plenty of other creators as well, which is so beautiful. And when I started to see that, and I see that on your stories all the time, like, you see the true or a true statement, right? See the true or a true statement.
Starting point is 00:14:20 And I love that. I've commented back so many times and said, I'm really glad you posted that, whatever. When did you kind of get to that space in your life really glad you posted that. When did you get to that space in your life where that became a priority? When did you come to that and you were just like, myself, care, and this journey of self-reflection are important to me now?
Starting point is 00:14:35 When did you get to this space of everything you're sharing now? Well, I've always been a writer. I write a lot and I journal. I write a lot mainly for myself. And then I love it. It's so therapeutic. I did a lot when I especially when I was going through my divorce specifically and it was so therapeutic for me. You're just even able, it's like a release. And sometimes when you write something, you either see how important it is or how silly it is to you at the same time,
Starting point is 00:15:02 but it's out of your system and you could burn it, do whatever. And then I used to write, I would post a quote and then write a large caption. And it's before I had as many followers and it, some people would tear it apart so much that they took out like the real meaning of it and they would make it into whatever they were feeling. And it wasn't what I was feeling. So I just chose to stop doing that as much because it kind of ruined it. Or like the blogs would create things. I'm like, but that you took the beauty out of it. That wasn't what it meant.
Starting point is 00:15:36 But not everybody is as deep or as they just want it to be salacious and something way worse than it is. But I also started seeing how much people were craving some sort of guidance, if you will, and not that I'm that person to go to, because I'm still figuring out my life, we all are. We're still just human beings, and we're going to make mistakes and live our life, but that's, I'm okay with sharing my failures, because I'm secure enough in just me being a person, I'm still figuring it out. I don't know what I'm doing every day. But I just realized how much, what a positive reaction I would get
Starting point is 00:16:12 when I would post something encouraging to other people. Or I would go on strangers pages and just go, my gosh, I love your freckles. And like what that would do? I'm like, that's crazy, that just being kind gets so much positive feedback. But like, that should just be normal. I think we're just used to people bullying each other.
Starting point is 00:16:30 And if someone, like, I would never go to someone's page to criticize them. That's just not who I am. I wouldn't waste my time. If I felt something, I'm like, oh, why don't I even think that about the stranger? Who am I? I would go to someone's page to encourage an uplift.
Starting point is 00:16:45 But I think in today's day, we're so used to people going to pages to be these computer bullies. And let's just talk about people. But I mean, they're really struggling in their own life. And that's the only reason why they're acting out like that is because they're feeling that about themselves or whatever, and they're just trying
Starting point is 00:17:04 to project it to somebody else. Yeah. And I love how that, what you just said now, it's almost like it transforms your feeling towards them and to kindness too, because you start recognizing where they're coming from, what they're going through to make them that way. I think it's just created, it's interesting in the world that we are in. It's either the more you're exposed to, you see a lot more negativity
Starting point is 00:17:27 and it's disturbing and disgusting to me, but instead of me becoming bitter and evil about it, I've chosen to become more self-aware and I have more empathy for people and I never want to change that. I think if anything, it's given me more empathy. Because I'm like, oh, I feel really bad for you. And I feel bad that you can't also understand that I'm just living my life. I'm not perfect. I am doing what you're doing every single day. We're just trying to figure it all out.
Starting point is 00:17:58 But if we're all a little more understanding and kind to one another, it would make our trials, tribulations, ups and downs that much easier. Yeah, I love that you've always been journaling. I think that's such a great practice. And I love that because I've recommended to so many people that I've worked with to to journal and read it back themselves and you're so right that sometimes you read your feelings back to yourself and you cry. And there are sometimes you've read your feelings back to yourself and you laugh because you're just like, what really? I'm like, that's what I'm upset about. Like that is so petty in today's world.
Starting point is 00:18:28 But and we all have to also be kind to ourselves and realize that like I hate when people say, like, what do you have to worry about? You have all this money or whatever. Oh, so money means you don't have problems. And I don't care who you are, problems are problems. In your world, I might, you might walk a day in my shoes and be like, I don't care who you are. Problems are problems. In your world, I might, you might walk a day in my shoes and be like, I don't want those issues, or I might walk a day in your shoes and be like, wow, everything's beautiful, but you might see what I thought was beauty as
Starting point is 00:18:56 you're not happy and satisfied with that. And you still want more or maybe you want less. Those are all okay feelings. That's why we each have our own lives. But to attack somebody else for what is considered their problems, I just find really counterproductive. And that's not motivating yourself. If you want a lot of money, go out there and get it. I believe in you. I'm applauding you. But when people, I think journaling is so good, especially when it's private, because for me, personally, it's something I get to write down and I don't feel judged, but I'm allowed to criticize myself because it's my journey.
Starting point is 00:19:33 And I know the day one to the last day that I've taken those steps. So I'm allowed to critique and be like, you know what, Chloe, you're your way past this. You don't need to harp on things like this. I think it's healthy. And even if you read it back and youbond things like this. I think it's healthy. And even if you read it back and you're just laugh at yourself, I think that's also a great form of therapy. Yeah, 100%. What's the most powerful or meaningful journal entry
Starting point is 00:19:53 you ever wrote that was really like transformative for you? It's a fascinating. That's a good question. You know, I sometimes I write and I don't even know what I'm saying. Like sometimes I'm just like, it's like words and then it turns into something and I never even knew that was a thing. But I was like, you know, I'm just compelled to write
Starting point is 00:20:14 and I would just start scribbling and it might be literally talking about my day and then it goes into maybe like something to do with like, why did this happen? Like you're just like, because your mind wanders. I know you meditate. I'm not, I pray.
Starting point is 00:20:27 I'm not great at meditating and sitting in my mind wanders too much. So I, when I pray, my prayer is a very conversational. And I realize it's kind of how I journal as well. It's more of a conversation, but I'm talking almost to myself, which might be a little insane, but. I think I did the most important meeting we have with us with ourselves. I guess so.
Starting point is 00:20:47 I think it's great. Yeah, no, it makes sense. I love that because for me, meditations are prayer too. And I think that's what's so beautiful about it, that it is a conversation. It is an exchange. And often one of the things that I would do is, I would, in my meditational prayer, I would ask a question. And it's not about trying to find the answer.
Starting point is 00:21:04 It's about sincerely asking the question. Can you really ask a question with sincere intent with a genuine feeling of like, I really want to understand this. And when you ask it with that, then of course it becomes a conversation because there's a response and you're right. Sometimes it's from within. Sometimes it's from someone you have a conversation with that day. It comes from absolutely anywhere.
Starting point is 00:21:24 And I love that. I It comes from absolutely anywhere. I love that. I think prayer is so important. And like you said, even if it's just a conversation with yourself, God, the universe, whatever you work with, it's a beautiful practice to have. In the 1680s, a feisty opera singer burned down a nunnery and stole away with her secret lover.
Starting point is 00:21:47 In 1810, a pirate queen negotiated her cruiseway to total freedom, with all their loot. During World War II, a flirtatious gambling double agent helped keep D-Day a secret from the Germans. What do these stories have in common? They're all about real women who were left out of your history books. If you're tired of missing out, check out the Womanica podcast, a daily women's history podcast highlighting women you may not have heard of, but definitely should know about. I'm your host Jenny Kaplan, and for me, diving into these stories is the best part of my day.
Starting point is 00:22:23 I learned something new about women from around the world and leafyling amazed, inspired, and sometimes shocked. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our 20s are seen as this golden decade. Our time to be carefree, full in love, make mistakes, and decide what we want from our life. But what can psychology really teach us about this decade? I'm Gemma Spake, the host of the psychology of your 20s. Each week we take a deep dive into a unique aspect of our 20s,
Starting point is 00:23:00 from career anxiety, mental health, heartbreak, money, friendships, and much more to explore the science and the psychology behind our experiences, incredible guests, fascinating topics, important science, and a bit of my own personal experience. Audrey, I honestly have no idea what's going on with my life. Join me as we explore what our 20s are really all about. From the good, the bad, and the ugly, and listen along as we uncover how everything is psychology, including our 20s. The psychology of your 20s hosted by me, Gemma Speg, now streaming on the iHot Radio app, Apple podcasts or whatever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:23:43 The therapy for Black Girls podcast is the destination for all things mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. Here, we have the conversations that help Black women dig a little deeper into the most impactful relationships in our lives, those with our parents, our partners, our children, our friends, and most importantly ourselves. We chat about things like what to do when a friendship ends, how to know when it's time to break up with your therapist, and how to end the cycle of perfectionism. I'm your host, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford,
Starting point is 00:24:25 a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. And I can't wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday. Listen to the therapy for Black Girls podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Take good care. I don't care what anybody else believes.
Starting point is 00:24:45 I believe in God. I'm not judging whoever believes in, I do believe everybody should have a faith in something. It centers us, it holds us accountable for our actions every day. And so my faith is in God, I'm Christian, and I wake up every morning, early, intentionally, so I can, I have a beautiful view and I open
Starting point is 00:25:06 my windows and I just look and I pray that I always start my day with gratitude because I think that transcends through the rest of my day. And not that we can control every emotion, but I like to, even if I, sometimes you just wake up and you're either melancholy or you're just kind of grumpy. But even if I am, I try to convince myself. This is a great day. Look how blessed you are. Like everything's beautiful.
Starting point is 00:25:31 We take our health for granted. Like we're healthy. Like I just try to have a conversation with myself. And if I am having a grumpy day, it normally turns it around normally. We all have those moments where it doesn't. We've intersected some of our mornings. I think some of our conversations have been in the morning.
Starting point is 00:25:46 And is that gratitude practice that you have is just talking to yourself? That's what it is for you. It's just almost guiding yourself to be grateful in the morning. Right. I just, and that's new. I've always prayed, but it used to be just at night.
Starting point is 00:26:00 And over the past couple of years, I've decided like, you know what, I want to start my day like this too. I think because it's, I used to just be so busy. I'm still busy, but like, I would never take that time. And yes, I have to wake up earlier, but it changes my whole, just the momentum of my day. So I wake up earlier and make it an effort, you make time for the things you want to do. 100%. And, you know, I make that something I want to do. It gives me such a better, lighter energy throughout the day. And I just, it's important. I think we all have ups and downs and we all going through rough patches.
Starting point is 00:26:36 So not every day I've felt compelled to do it, but I've started doing it maybe like four years ago. And I love it. It's more, it's increased over the past year significantly, where you probably would do it every now and then and now I do it religiously, I would say, for the past year. That's beautiful.
Starting point is 00:26:55 Thanks for sharing that as well. I love finding out about these things, because I think so many of us don't get us face to share this. And that's one of the reasons why I wanted to do this is I'm happy that we're learning this about you, and I'm learning this about you. What's something, I love what you said about figuring things out because I actually think
Starting point is 00:27:10 when we're sharing, when we're figuring things out, they're more relevant. It's almost like when you figure something out perfectly and then you teach it, it kind of doesn't feel as real to everyone who's learning, but like you said, like when you're trying to navigate life and you're making mistakes and you're failing and that's the same with me. Like I'm always sharing that everything I'm sharing in my videos is stuff that I've been through and I'm working through and figuring out
Starting point is 00:27:31 what's something you're trying to figure out right now. Like what's something that you've been reflecting along right now? Goodness, my life. No. You know, there's nothing specifically I can pinpoint. But there's nothing specifically I can pinpoint. I absolutely love being a mom. It's one of my favorite things. And I've read about, under a year, I would say about eight months ago, I went into, I had a breakup. And so figuring out, I think people are so good at distracting. And I've really chosen to not distract myself
Starting point is 00:28:05 or to try to not distract myself. Maybe people can say true would be a distraction, but if anything, she's a healthy distraction. And I love, like, I haven't jumped into dating. I don't care to date right now. I'm not in a rush for it. I feel so good in my life. And I don't really need much else.
Starting point is 00:28:24 And so something that I'm focusing on is just making sure that I process everything. I think especially in my family, we're good at moving on. Like we're, we have very big forgiving hearts, we just move on, but we don't really talk about things that happened. And I don't really know if that's healthy or not. And so for what I went through with my breakup, I forgive Tristan. I don't think he's a bad person. I think we all make mistakes for humans. But it's only going to hurt me if I'm holding onto this anger and playing this victim.
Starting point is 00:29:01 Well, I don't believe in being a victim. I believe in, okay, this happened to me. Let's figure it out. Let's push through it. And maybe if I'm open and honest about it, it can help other people feel like it's okay. We're all human. We're all going to get through things. But you also can't condemn somebody else for just either sinning differently than you did or I just feel like we're all so quick to exile people. And it's just so heavy to me. And so something that I'm just focusing on is making sure I'm healed from that
Starting point is 00:29:35 or as much as I can and try to understand it as much as I can, and then don't distract myself right now. And so I just try to have a lot of me time in the mornings and that's where I kind of filter through that, I think. Hearing that's beautiful. Oh, thank you. Yeah, I know, just listen to you say that. I was like, wow, like, what a beautiful place to be in.
Starting point is 00:29:57 Thank you. I feel really good. Like I feel, I do. I'm proud of myself, because I think so many people, it's natural to almost be the victim. It's natural when like especially when you're on this platform and the whole world is like, oh, I feel so bad for you. It's like, okay, thank you. But this also happened to, I'm sure, hundreds of other people before, not saying it's right.
Starting point is 00:30:22 I'm just saying, I'm not going to die. We're all fine. And I want to show my daughter that it's okay and it's a beautiful thing to also forgive her. Dad, he's a great person. It's, you know, maybe him and I weren't compatible or whatever on that way, but that's okay. Like, nobody's going to die here. And I always want true to be surrounded by love. And I know babies feel energy, we feel energy, and I just want her to always feel just bliss as much as I can. That's so incredible.
Starting point is 00:30:51 I know it's not realistic every day, but as much as I can control it, I feel like it's my mom of their job to control it. Yeah. I think so. Yeah, well, when I'm hearing you say that, I'm feeling the energy of what you're saying. And to me, it sounds like the,
Starting point is 00:31:07 you know, I don't think what you're presenting is an ideal impossible. I think what you're presenting is a very real opportunity to say, it's my child. I want her to have this environment. And I'm gonna work really hard for her to have this environment. Whatever that means.
Starting point is 00:31:21 Oh, it's hard. Yeah, of course it is. It's not easy for me. It's, you know, it would be easier for me to keep my daughter away and be like, no, because you hurt me. But he never hurt true. Like, you know what I mean? Like him and I have our own relationship.
Starting point is 00:31:35 And then Tristan and Tru have theirs. And I will never come in between that. I don't believe in that. But I attest that to my parents were incredible co-parentors from what I know. They brought my mom and my dad. I'm sure fought all the time, not around us. I would never know. My sister Courtney and my, he's like my brother, Scott, they're incredible co-parentors.
Starting point is 00:31:59 And as long as it's not hurting you in any way, like if this was hindering Courtney's growth or if it hinders my growth, then you have to also put yourself first because you are, in fact, taking care of your children. But if it's not hindering you or hurting you in any way, I think it's important to work on all relationships. Yeah. I read some of the other day that kind of, I feel really articulate what you're saying. It said letting go is hard, but holding on is harder.
Starting point is 00:32:28 And that's the choice almost that we have in these tough situations. And the way you're sharing it is just amazing, by the way. Like I'm just, I mean, or I think it's incredible. Oh, thank you. It's you and I'm, me. No, I mean it. I'm not just saying it.
Starting point is 00:32:42 No, that's so nice. I mean it because I think, I'm sure there's so many people listening right now who can relate to circumstances in your life, situations in your life that you've been through. We all know that these things happen out there and I think so many of us hold on for so long. And as we know, like you said, it's hard work,
Starting point is 00:33:02 it's not easy, it's not just going to be plain sailing but the fact is that you can move in that direction. You can, and I've been through a lot of things in my past that I think have put me here. I'm not saying, oh, it's so easy, and no, it's hard work, it definitely is. But I think with every relation I've been and I've always learned kindness is really kindness and understanding. And also, I've like one reason why I stopped sharing my journaling or my long captions, if you will, is because people only understand from their level of perception as well.
Starting point is 00:33:39 And it would infuriate me when my beautiful notes. I'm sure you could understand because you share so much would be taken in a way that I'm like, that's not at all how I meant for that to be. And so I can't explain something to someone when this is only the level of their understanding and their want to understand. People also have to have the desire to wanna learn more and want to open up their mind.
Starting point is 00:34:08 To, like, if I'm closed up and if I'm just some bitter person where I live my life, like the world is unjust and why do bad things happen to me? It's like, to me, there's no good, there's no bad. Things happen. It's the energy of the world. How you handle it is then, again, another ripple effect from how I think more things are going to happen to you. But if I'm sitting here like life sucks, life is so unjust, unfair, all these bad things
Starting point is 00:34:34 are happening. Then oh my gosh, you're just going to attract all this heavy stuff. But if I'm like, okay, that was not the best, but I'm going to figure out why and let me try to move on and still let me not misdirect my energy, let me try to be happy, let me try to still be kind to others as much as you can. And you can still hurt, but you should also heal and then be responsible for your hurting and not channel it to other people.
Starting point is 00:34:59 I just feel like sometimes we're really irresponsible with our feelings. And we have to be responsible as adults, especially adults that are supposed to be guiding kids and like our youth, you have to be a lot more responsible and how we do things. Yeah, that's so true. I love that by being irresponsible with our feelings. Let's explore that a bit because I think that's such a powerful statement in and of itself. And this morning, literally this morning, I was sharing this reflection that I was having on social media, and it was about how it's tough to start communicating with children,
Starting point is 00:35:33 but sometimes it's even more tough to communicate with that in a child, right? And like while we're trying to grow up and everything, and it's like what you're saying, that we're irresponsible with all the feelings that we're there, and we just move on, and we think when we move on you've dealt with it. Right.
Starting point is 00:35:46 But that healing that you're talking about is just for me as well, like I always felt like I was someone who moved on and I was always felt like I was someone who like, oh, I didn't get affected by that. And then I started to see that actually I had behaviors in me that were complete reflections of a past pain. Right? Like there were behaviors in me that were reflections of a past pain, right? Like there were behaviors in me that were reflections of a past guilt. And then I realized that it's not that they just disappeared, it's that they were going to come out in a different way. That was going to hurt future relationships, it was going to hurt present relationships. And for me, that's where I started
Starting point is 00:36:19 to work through that, where I said to see, actually, what I saw in whatever it was, I'm now reflecting that. Let me look at that behavior and see how that behavior can be healed and transformed. I want the root of that, doesn't it sense? A completely, and also I think people get confused even when you're like, no, I'm totally over that. I'm healed. You can still talk about things and be healed.
Starting point is 00:36:41 You can still draw back on those things and say, it hurt me when. It did hurt you when. But I think sometimes people are like, oh, you're done with that. You're like, why are you talking about this for so long or whatever? And it's like, that's also a form of my healing. I hate when other people who have not been through the trauma you have been through any of us, because we've all gone through traumas, they want to tell you when to stop hurting. And that's not anybody's place to tell you when to stop hurting. It's and everybody has a different lifespan of pain, I think. Everybody will deal with things and different. What might be
Starting point is 00:37:17 traumatizing to me might be nothing to you. And vice versa, we can't invalidate people's feelings. That's only going to traumatize them more. And also shame them. I'm so over like the emotional shaming of what people do to other people. People can have their feelings and do what they want as long as they're realistic. You also have to step outside of your own self and be self-aware and say, okay, am I completely delusional? Am I making these? Because you could also, your mind, you can play tricks on. And you could start creating a false reality. As long as you're being, I think, really authentic and genuine about your feelings, I think it's okay to talk about your pains and traumas. I think, especially if you're doing it in a way that's beneficial to other people. I think that's being responsible.
Starting point is 00:38:07 But I think if you're just talking about negative stuff to talk about negative stuff, you're like, oh my gosh, shut up already. I think you just, again, you just have to be responsible. Yeah, you can't, I love what you said, but you can't put a deadline on someone else's pain. Right, you can't put be the one to invalidate or validate how long someone needs to dissect something or break something down. And I think that's such a great point. And you're right, that I think.
Starting point is 00:38:32 But as long as it's realistic, do you know what I mean? Like some people just care, they just are negative. They just have like a dark cloud over them because they've created that cloud. But that's realistically not their reality. You look at them and you're like, what are you talking about? And if it was something from five or 10 years ago, you're
Starting point is 00:38:48 like, okay, babe, we got it. Not that we're putting a deadline on it, but let's start working through it. Let's not sit in the beginning stages of whatever's holding you back. So it's the balance that you're talking about. It's a balance. It's not either raw. Correct. Because you can't just talk about it forever and you're not doing anything about it. Right. At the same time, you can't say, I'll get over it today. It's that balance. Like I can't stand people that are like eating a bucket
Starting point is 00:39:09 of like hog and da size cream. They're like, I'm so fat. And like they won't work out. They won't change their diet. They won't drink more water. They won't whatever. But they're complaining, complaining, complaining. I'm like, well, you're always gonna be
Starting point is 00:39:21 in this victimized state because you're literally not doing any, you're not being self aware. You'reized state because you're literally not doing any, you're not being self-aware, you're not even looking at your own reflection saying, okay, what can I do to change things about myself? It's everybody else's fault. And what would you say to someone who's in that situation, whether it's, whatever it is, whether it's their physical, their emotional, their mental, how do we then talk to that person or coach them with compassion out of that? Like you've done a lot of that work. How do you do that with someone else in the same ways we do with ourselves?
Starting point is 00:39:48 Like what would you say to them? It's, it's, it really does come from within. I think whenever people do things for other people, it's always, you're setting yourself up for failure. I think you really genuinely have to want to change areas of your life. And if you don't, just be happy with who you are. I don't care physically what you look like, your weight, whatever, as long as you're healthy and happy, do you?
Starting point is 00:40:14 But I know for me, I was overweight for, like I was unhealthy for a lot of my life. And then when I was like, I just, I started going the gym during my divorce, like a significant and consistent amount for my mental. I needed a release and I needed to feel strong. And I just needed to get rid of all of these thoughts. And I wanted to be alone. And the only place to really be alone was being on an elliptical with headphones in my ears and kind of just vibing out. And as a side effect, I started losing weight.
Starting point is 00:40:46 And I was like, oh, I kind of like this. Like, you know, losing weight and then became like just some competitive weird streak in me that it was like, I want to see if I can get arm muscles. I want to see like it started that, but that was never my goal was never, I want to look good in a bikini. That was never my goal. It was, I just wanted to feel good mentally. And I think when you start putting yourself first, you start feeling so much better.
Starting point is 00:41:09 There's not a size close that that you have to fit into. It's just, then you start exploring things. I'm like, wow, I like how I feel when I drink more water. I like how I feel when I pray in the morning. And because of that, you start to become happier and lighter, and then you start to want to do more things, be more active, socialize more, whatever it is. And so many studies now show that even a small amount of exercise a day is so great for
Starting point is 00:41:35 the mind and the brain. And I think that's been underestimated for so long. And I know I underestimated that in my life for so long where, you know, I was always someone who focused on the mind and kind of neglected the body and like pushed the body to limits. And then I was just like, wait a minute, they're all interconnected. But you can't just say, Oh, I'm going to deal with this. I'm not going to deal with this. Actually, when you take care of mind, body, and soul, then it starts, then you feel the best version of yourself. And even if, and that's what I love that even if your first intention for going to the gym or doing anything is wrong, as you do it more,
Starting point is 00:42:09 you'll probably come to the right conclusion. Right. If you stay consistent with something, you usually raise your intention. Completely. I have a TV show called Revenge Body and all the people, it's a show and all these people are from different walks of life.
Starting point is 00:42:22 And they start with some trauma and they all come on the show like, I want revenge on, and it's like it's a play on words, revenge body, it's not, I don't think the best revenge is a good body. It's just a play on words, but they come on the show, I want revenge on my ex-boyfriend or on my dad or whoever.
Starting point is 00:42:37 And I'm always like, okay, I'm like the first interview and then towards the show, they're feeling so, because they think this good body is gonna want, this person's gonna treat them good. It's like how superficial and narcissistic are we, but we are, that's the world we live in. And so towards the end, they never want revenge on the person that starts out with, they want compassion.
Starting point is 00:42:57 And they're like, I, or I don't want that boyfriend because I deserve better, because I feel better. And the show, they think it's all physical, but what we do, we kind of break them down mentally to self reflect and look at themselves and figure out what got them here to this place. Because you can't always blame somebody else for why you are the way that you are. You have to be accountable, too. And that's something that it means, it's, it's, means so much to me that through that show,
Starting point is 00:43:26 people get to see that a little bit that you might, it might start off one way, but that's, it's all about internal at the end of the day. Yeah, whatever gets you started is usually a good thing because at least it gets you in there. But, but what I love about what you've just said is that it's just anything that anything that gets us started is a good place to start. But when you're giving someone the power to make you feel beautiful, you've also just given them the power to make you feel ugly, right? And so you're just always giving away your power if you don't upgrade that intention. And I
Starting point is 00:44:00 think we see that in every part, whether it's our body, our mind, our intellect, our academics, whatever, all these expectations of others, the more we're looking for someone to say, yes, you're amazing. It's like you're waiting for that statement, you could wait your whole life for it, and it can never come. Right.
Starting point is 00:44:16 And it also almost could become an addiction. Like people, they might not, it might not be good enough for one from one person. They need it from thousands in this or whatever, but it's not that, it's because they need to hear it from within. You need to tell yourself, you're beautiful, you're dope, you're so smart, whatever it is, but they don't feel it,
Starting point is 00:44:37 they don't believe it. So when people keep telling them, you're such a good person, they don't believe it at all. That's why they keep trying to find validation and empty things. I love that. That's amazing. You've talked about things that you do, like gratitude, journaling, prayer. What else do you do on a daily basis that you don't negotiate with? You're like, I have to obviously exercise too. Worked out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That one too. What else is there in your day that you just,
Starting point is 00:45:01 like, I can't negotiate with this. Like, this has to be something that I must do every day every week. Um, or those do. Those are pretty much the core. I mean, it's praying and working out, or like my two, that I do basically every single day. And like yesterday I did my schedule wrong, or no the day before I did my schedule wrong. So I missed my workout and I was like, oh, I felt fine. I went along my day, but I just, when I realized that I did my schedule wrong, I was like,
Starting point is 00:45:32 oh, my God, I'm so bummed because what it does, I'm not like, it just clears my head. I feel so good afterwards. So whatever that is for people, it doesn't have to be what your non-negotiables are or mine. It's just, I think everybody has to have those. There are, like, I think they fuel me. Yeah, you talked about working with your family, which I think is fascinating in the first sense, because it's an amazing thing that you're
Starting point is 00:45:57 constantly surrounded by working with, you know, just in that environment all the time, and you said that you're good at moving on and forgiving each other, which I think is an incredible quality as well. Like, what's that like to deal with every day and how are you how are you learning more from that? So what are you learning from that? I think it's one of the best blessings in the world that I get to say that my job is being with my family every day. When this first started, we were much younger. I think it was 23 or 24. I'm still 23 or 24, just don't know how that works.
Starting point is 00:46:30 But we're in the same situation. Yeah, I'm like, what? Yeah. But it, you know, norm, when you get older, you all have your own families and kids, and not that anything happens, but you normally see your family holidays, not as frequently, we see each other every single day.
Starting point is 00:46:45 And I'm honored to be able to do that. Yes, their cause is more fighting or tension. But the thing that I've learned about my family is we are loyal and we, no matter what disagreement we have or whatever, we'll always figure it out. We're not a family. That's like, I haven't spoke to my sister in seven years. Like, I don't know how people do that. And we are very understanding of each other. And I just think it's a really great dynamic.
Starting point is 00:47:14 Like we're understanding of if we're all going through something or whatever, we really try to be there for one another and support them through that. And I just think it's, I think it's important to show our kids about family unity or to show that, you know, two heads are better than one, three are better than two,
Starting point is 00:47:31 we're not competitive with one another. And whatever we each wanna do, we support each other until the end. And I think today's world, everyone's in a battle to who's the best and who's this and who's that. And when we first started, I remember like, interviewers would always say so.
Starting point is 00:47:48 Like, do you guys go after the same men? Or do you, like, they would always, like, our questions would be more, they would almost want us to fight. They didn't, they couldn't stand that we, it was just really like, no, we just love each other. And I don't know why people love something salacious and twisted rather than beautiful and just kind.
Starting point is 00:48:09 Right. No, but I mean, it's true. And it's interesting, but that's, you know, I guess good stories don't sell. That's why. And I think we can change that. Like, the reason why I do what I do and what I really believe in and why we've connected and what I love about our connection is I genuinely believe that if we keep giving people,
Starting point is 00:48:29 if we keep shooting for the lowest common denominator for people, then they'll settle for that, right? If you only put junk food in front of someone, they're gonna take that and eat that. But if you put healthy food that maybe looks and tastes like junk food, but that's really amazing, then most people will switch. And I feel the same true of media, I feel the same true of stories, I feel the same true
Starting point is 00:48:51 of everything. I believe that people are more beautiful, deeper and smarter than we believe. And we don't give, we don't always give everyone an opportunity to live to that. And therefore, people with influence, people with responsibility, people with power can either choose to sell something that shoots at the lowest common easy thing to shoot. And it's easier to sell garbage quite frankly. It's so much easier. But we are the ones with the influence of the power to say, no, actually, let's make people aspire for the higher that we know that's inside of them. Right. Yeah. It's interesting.
Starting point is 00:49:25 I get so many people will comment negatively when I post almost positive things. I have ups and downs. I have a handful of supportive handful of, oh my gosh, get over yourself or whatever. And I'm like, you need this the most. Like it's so you can tell the people that are really suffering the most because they're so quick to condemn and to just take the junk food. They just want the bad stuff. They can't handle the good things.
Starting point is 00:49:51 And especially when it's consistent because that's just, I post for me. I don't post for other people. Like, I'm like, this is for me. I need to hear those messages. Yes. And if I need to hear it, I'm hoping at least one other person does. And but it's interesting that you can see right off like the people that are resistant to it because some people don't, they also don't want to
Starting point is 00:50:11 open their mind up to becoming better people because sometimes your own comfort will restrict you from your own happiness though because they're too afraid to step away from their comfort zone. They would rather just be complacent instead of actually finding something that really makes them happy and excited about life. Yeah, and I think I remember being there sometimes too. And so like what you were saying earlier, having empathy towards that person and then praying for them and hopefully opening the door for them one day or having, you know, wherever they're going to find that because I do believe that the more we have these conversations publicly openly, the more these kind of messages circulate and go viral and get shared, the more people feel the permission and the reflection to look within themselves.
Starting point is 00:50:57 It's almost like if it's not out there, if you've never heard it from your parents, if you've never heard it from your teachers, if you never heard it from your best friend growing up or the person you looked up to, it's kind of a lot of this stuff we expect people to have self-taught, but it's not. It's something you have to hear from someone that you look up to or inspired by that kind of gets you going. It's interesting. You said, give yourself permission to look inside yourself. And it blows my mind that so many people do feel like they need the permission. Yeah. When you're in control of your own self. Yeah. But so many people, they want to be like sheep. They just want to be told what to do and let me follow the herd. And
Starting point is 00:51:36 that's just, it's mind blowing to me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It is. It is. Tell me something that you've learned from true and something you're trying to teach her. Oh, because so many of our energy on. Hi, Malika. Malika's here. That's my best friend. So nice to see you.
Starting point is 00:51:55 Thanks for being here. Yeah, nice to meet you. I'll give you a big hug in a moment. Yeah, yeah, later, definitely. But I know that you post so much about her. We've spoken about her. I think her energy radiates straight off the page. You know, my team was speaking about her earlier as well. Like, yeah, what is she taught you and what are you trying to teach her? I'm asking this because I have a kid's yet. Oh, I got no, she's and it's interesting.
Starting point is 00:52:21 I never like you can feel your child's personality and, like, she's a really good person. She has empathy already for other people. And it's, it sounds crazy that you can know that, but you can. I never really understood that until I had a child. And I've always had patience. I'm good with patient. I've always loved kids. But she gives you a different kind of patience. And when you feel that like you're exhausted and you can't go on with your day, when you're around your own child, you get this surge of energy. And you're just like, oh, I gotta keep going. Like, you just figure it out. And so she just gives me, I think, more of a drive. And to stay fit,
Starting point is 00:53:07 to stay healthy, because I want to be an active mom with her, I want to be here as long as I can. But I would say it's a different type of patients. I think it's a softer patients. And I mean, I've always been goofy. I've always been silly. So my inner child is there. I will be the first one to play and be wild, and I don't care how I look. Like, I'm like, I'll be an animal, it doesn't matter. But, I mean, you're just like reliving your childhood, again, it's fun.
Starting point is 00:53:33 Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, so that's what she's teaching you. She's, and she's also, she's taught me so much more understanding from my mom. Oh. And you just realize that I think when you're a kid, you'd think your parents are superheroes and they are. But you still have to understand, they're just humans.
Starting point is 00:53:55 They're still like, I'm just a person. Doctors are just people. We give everybody so much power. And they're allowed to make mistakes. They're allowed to not know what they're doing. My mom didn't have Google, how the hell did she figure things out? Like now me, I'm like, I don't know,
Starting point is 00:54:10 can kids have honey? I'm like, I have no idea. I ask my phone and I get the answer. Back then it's like, I have so much more compassion, I think, for my mom. And if when I was a teenager and I'm like, oh, why'd you do this to me when I was a kid and whatever? And I'm like, because she didn't know.
Starting point is 00:54:29 Yeah. She had, like, you know, I feel like you just, I have more understanding and compassion for my mom. Yeah, absolutely. I love that. We did a podcast about three weeks ago. And it was called Six Reasons Why We Need To Develop The Emotional Skills Our Parents Didn't Have. And one of them was to recognize how hard it is.
Starting point is 00:54:48 And the second one was to build compassion because of how hard it is. And to recognize what you just said, like the ease at which we have information, the more conversations about parenting now, and like more research that's been done, and you look at parents before, all they had was just what their parents told them. And that was passed down and passed down and passed down. So yeah, that's a beautiful lesson. I'm excited to see what I learned when I have children. But those are definitely beautiful ones.
Starting point is 00:55:11 It's the best. It is the best. Yeah, those are definitely beautiful ones that I can take forward. What is it that's on your mind right now where when we were talking and we decided to do this, what was there that was in your heart that you were like, you really want to share this?
Starting point is 00:55:21 I want to talk about this that we haven't kind of dived into right now. You're like, there's something on my mind that. No, I feel like, I mean, I was so excited just to sit with you and to have this natural conversation. I feel like we've touched a lot of topics and I love that. I didn't want it to be too contrived and about promoting something.
Starting point is 00:55:38 I just wanted it to be like a beautiful conversation. So I appreciate that. And I feel like, I don't know. Is there anything else? Thinking. No, that was the same for me. My intention was that. And I feel like, I don't know, is there anything else? Thinking. No, that was the same for me. My intention was to just, I wanted to hold space to just hear you and let you talk and share because like I said at the start from any conversation we've had, I just think that your journey of figuring it out, sharing this positive message, that energy is so awesome. And I want everyone to experience that. Thank thank you and that's what my intention was and I think I've had that today I'm listening to you going I've just learned so who I am. That's one, but that's one
Starting point is 00:56:31 layer of who I am. And I don't really get to divulge in this layer of who I am. I mean, I do little bits here or there on Instagram. But sometimes, like I said, it's hard because people tear it apart from what they ever, what their level is to perceive something. And sometimes that discourages me from wanting to share, because that's not at all what I meant. But when you're able to really vocalize something and have a natural dialogue, it's sometimes it's easier to share how you feel. So thank you for giving me this platform to do so. No, of course. That's, I mean, that's what I love about podcasts in the first place, but also just like, yeah, just being able to dissect the topic for like 30 minutes, 40 minutes, like that's, we need more of that to also understand people better and give people an opportunity.
Starting point is 00:57:08 But I'm hoping that we're going to continue seeing you share your work. I'm hoping that we're going to see more of your journals. I'm hoping and praying that we're going to see more of that expression because I truly believe it's helping people. And the percentages are always going to be in your favor because I think the amount of people that are good and seeking good and are starting with good intentions is so much more powerful and stronger and I want you to feel that. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:57:33 Well, you're definitely a huge motivation. I know for so many people that I know and it's I know it's scary and sometimes really daunting and heavy because so many people do, someone like you turn to you, because I know the little amount that people turn to me, and I'm not some self-help retired monk, are you a retired monk? Yeah, former monk. Former monk, don't know what the proper term is. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no much of your energy, but you know, keep going,
Starting point is 00:58:06 because you've helped me in so many ways. And just by, remember, the first time I ever heard about you, someone sent me a YouTube video of you was before I found you on Instagram. And I was like, who is this man? He is, you're so moving, you're so genuine and kind with what you're saying, and from what I feel non-judgmental, and it's just a really amazing trait that you have, and I know you're helping a lot of people, and you've made me feel like it's okay to share more things, and that's why I like to share more other people's stuff,
Starting point is 00:58:41 because I feel like people sometimes they get too critical if they think it's just mine and they need to know that it's okay to share love and kindness the way that you do. And thank you for encouraging people like me. I'm humbled by hearing that from you and it means the world. It really does because there's a beautiful statement that was said by Martin Luther King and he was talking about how like those who love peace need to learn to organize themselves as well as those who love war. And I think that those of us who are in this mission and purpose of
Starting point is 00:59:11 wanting to spread kindness and not just in like this positive movement sort of way, like I think like real work, real healing, real transformation, not just like, let's be happy, not that kind of stuff. But let's really do the work, let's really heal. I think it's really encouraging when we work together and we encourage each other and help to build stuff together. And sometimes people find it so like, you guys are just so happy. It's like, I'm not happy all the time. I have my moments and I'm still very like, there's things I'm like, oh really, I have to do that or whatever. But then I have to also things I'm like, oh really I have to do that or whatever
Starting point is 00:59:46 But then I have to also be like, okay, no I get to do that like I have to change my thinking I have to talk to myself sometimes So it's not like once you have This mentality you're always in it. It's just a great reminder for ourselves And also just to change your wording from I have have to, to, I get to. Like little things like that. If you just try, if you're just aware, it would help you. I think people think it's all so too overwhelming to just be kind or, and like you said,
Starting point is 01:00:16 it's a little 2%. Not even have to be by for something. You know, like it could just be a little bit and what that shift will do for yourself. Yeah. That's awesome. Well, I'm hoping that anyone who listens to Now, like it could just be a little bit and what that shift will do for yourself. Yeah. That's awesome. Well, I'm hoping that anyone who listens to or watches
Starting point is 01:00:27 this conversation feels the energy that I'm feeling right now from you and from being in this space and hearing everything you've been saying, I'm hope that they get to feel that too. And I hope that they carry that throughout their day and their year. And we all continue to heal and grow together because we're all figuring it out together.
Starting point is 01:00:42 We are. Yeah. And we end every interview with a quick final five, which is like a rapid fire, quick fire round. So you can answer in one word to one sentence, maximum. Oh my god. So these are easy. Okay.
Starting point is 01:00:53 So the first question is number one, how do you unplug? How do I unplug? Yeah. That's one. Well, you can say, yeah. Phone? Is that what I'm saying? No, just generally, how do you unplug? No, no, how do you unplug?
Starting point is 01:01:07 How do you choose to unplug? You can answer it in a sentence. Oh, more, you can say more. You can say more. I'm not good when you limit me to speak. I'm not going to limit you. I am a talker. I should not limit you.
Starting point is 01:01:20 I would just say I unplug in the mornings when I do my morning routine. Okay, awesome. Question number two, what's one change that you made that you feel really boosted your life? One change that you made and really changed everything? Getting into fitness. Okay, awesome. Question number three, what's your weirdest strangest habit? Good question.
Starting point is 01:01:43 Get a come up. What is it, Khalifa. What is my strangest habit? I feel like I'm weird. Oh, what is it? Hot tamales. I have a box of hot tamales by my bed. I love that. But like for 400 years, is that my, okay? That's my weirdest thing. God.
Starting point is 01:02:11 I love that. Question number four, what's your wish for everyone who's listening to this episode? My wish would be, my, my wish would be is that they would focus on doing one kind act every day and that could just be a smirk Hold it or open it doesn't have to be overwhelming. I think if someone if everybody who listens to your podcast actually did that it would be magical Question number five when are you coming over dinner? Oh my god What are you doing tonight?
Starting point is 01:02:50 No, we'd love to have you over me my wife. I love having people over dinner to connect more and etc. So we'd love to know awesome. Okay. Malika. Yeah. Yeah. And I want to be true. Yeah, she's I know she's gonna do your next podcast. Yes. Oh my god. That would be cute. That would be awesome. That would be awesome. I'll do to that. Oh yeah, you're up. I love the awesome. That would be awesome. I'll hold you to that. Yeah, you're amazing. Chloe, thank you so much for doing this.
Starting point is 01:03:08 Thank you so much. Thank you for agreeing to this. I hope it's been meaningful to you. Meaningful and fun and insightful. Thank you. Awesome, thank you. And I hope we do many more of this. Yes.
Starting point is 01:03:17 Yeah, thank you, Chloe. Thank you. Awesome. Thanks guys. you I'm Danny Shapiro, host of Family Secrets. It's hard to believe we're entering our eighth season, and yet we're constantly discovering new secrets. The variety of them continues to be astonishing. I can't wait to share ten incredible stories with you, stories of tenacity, resilience,
Starting point is 01:04:15 and the profoundly necessary excavation of long-held family secrets. Listen to season eight of Family Secrets on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's Debbie Brown, host of the Deeply Well Podcast, where we hold conscious conversations with leaders and radical healers and wellness around topics that are meant to expand and support you on your wellbeing journey. Deeply well is your soft place to land, to work on yourself without judgment, to heal, to learn, to grow, to become who you deserve to be. Deeply well with Debbie Brown is available now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Starting point is 01:04:59 Namaste. I'm Jay Shetty and on my podcast on purpose, I've had the honor to sit down with some of the most incredible hearts and minds on the planet. Oprah, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Hart, Louis Hamilton, and many, many more. On this podcast, you get to hear the raw, real-life stories behind their journeys and the tools they used, the books they read, and the people that made a difference in their lives so that they can make a difference in hours. Listen to on purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever
Starting point is 01:05:28 you get your podcasts. Join the journey soon.

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