On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Nicky Jam: How to Forgive Yourself From the Past & Free Yourself From Shame and Trauma

Episode Date: September 2, 2024

Are you struggling to overcome your past trauma? Are you looking for ways to heal from it? Today, Jay sits down with renowned reggaeton artist and songwriter Nicky Jam. Nicky's music career took off after a series of successful mixtapes and collaborations with other artists, including Daddy Yankee, with whom he formed the iconic duo Los Cangris. His work has earned him international fame and multiple awards, establishing him as a major influence in the reggaeton and Latin trap genres.  Nicky recounts his first foray into music, packing groceries and freestyling at a supermarket, which inadvertently launched his career despite his young age and the informal nature of his work. He opens up about the difficulties of his upbringing, including his mother’s struggle with substance abuse and prostitution, shaping his understanding of normalcy and family life. This background set the stage for his initial break into the music industry, where early rejections and setbacks paved the way for his eventual success in the Puerto Rican mixtape scene and beyond. Together with Jay, Nicky also discusses the challenges of maintaining authenticity and personal happiness amidst fame, expressing discomfort with being seen as a role model and emphasizing the importance of understanding and support for mental health, especially for men in the public eye. Despite ongoing struggles with PTSD, anxiety, and the scars of his traumatic past, Nicky remains hopeful and driven, looking forward to continuing his career and making a positive impact through his work and personal experiences. In this interview, you'll learn: How to handle early setbacks How to deal with the pressure of expectations How to use personal struggles as a source of strength How to maintain creativity under pressure How to find redemption through new opportunities How to help others through your work Nicky's story demonstrates that with unwavering determination and a genuine approach, it's possible to transform challenging beginnings into legacies of success and enduring influence. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 03:12 Earliest Childhood Memory 04:06 First Deal 06:44 I Was Happy with the Album 08:15 Life on the Streets 12:06 There’s a Different World Out There 15:22 Looking for Billy 17:20 Simpler or Complicated Life? 19:05 Commands Don’t Work on Me 24:58 Battling Alcohol Addiction 31:06 Drug and Alcohol Problem 34:20 Finding Help 36:40 Feeling Alone 39:18 Almost Dying 42:52 Prison Life 45:59 Moving to Columbia 52:00 My Mom is Different 54:48 Do You Pray a Lot? 58:01 Reconciliation 59:49 Forgiveness 01:05:31 I’m not Retiring 01:09:24 My Album is My Story 01:10:11 Some Misunderstanding People Have 01:12:37 Surgery and Recovery 01:13:46 Talking is Therapy 01:15:12 Nicky on Fast Five Episode Resources: Nicky Jam | Website Nicky Jam | Instagram Nicky Jam | Facebook Nicky Jam | TikTok Nicky Jam | YouTube Dubbed by ElevenLabs and this link: https://elevenlabs.io/jay_shettySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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I've never opened up in any of these shows about this. I don't want to be boxed as this role model just because people want to see me as a role model. I'm a human being. With more than three decades of hit records, awards to prove it, please welcome Nicky, Nicky, Nicky Jam everybody! What age did you get to where you were like, oh that's not normal? You're going really deep.

My mom not being there made me not care about living. Now I'm going to tell you this though. I forgive, but I never forget. We're thrilled to announce that we've reached 3 million subscribers. We're incredibly grateful for each and every one of you. If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you never miss out on any of our new releases. We're dedicated to bringing you the content you love.

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Hit subscribe to not miss any of these episodes. If you think of someone who would love this episode, send it to them to make their day. The number one health and wellness podcast. Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty. The one, the only Jay Shetty. What would you say is your earliest childhood memory that has defined who you are today?

Packing groceries at the supermarket and freestyling while I was doing it. That's the way I would discover it. I would always go there because I would make $20 by quarters because they would give me always quarters every time I packed groceries. I'll make $20 with that. I will buy ham, cheese, milk, cigarettes from my dad and stuff like that. I will go every day.

I will walk probably like 30 minutes to go there. And that's me, you know, always trying to like take care of my family. But at the same time, having fun while I do it, you know, rapping and doing music and making people laugh and making people having fun. That's Nicky, you know, that's the Nicky I always have in my mind, even when I was in those dark moments. That's what went through my head in those moments. That's amazing. So you're packing groceries, that's your job, and you're freestyling to the customers' groceries that you're packing.

It wasn't really my job. I was 12 years old. It was illegal for me to work there, but the guy, the manager from the supermarket, he would let me do it, because he knew I was trying to make some money. So every now and then he'd be like, okay, nigga, you got to go because the supervisors are here or whatever.

But I would pack groceries. I would freestyle the lettuce and tomatoes. I would rap rhyme the food that I was packing. I became like a little celebrity there. And people were like, yo, this is kid. He'd be rapping while he's packing groceries. And everybody wanted to see me over there in Puerto Rico at the supermarket in Bayamon. This lady came to me once and I wasn't in a rapping mood.

I was just packing groceries. It was a bad day or whatever. And she looks at me and she's like, so you're not going to rap for me? And I'm like, yeah, so I'll rap. And I started freestyling and she was shocked because I was a kid. I was like 11 years old. And she was like, can you come with me? I'm like, no.

I don't know you. She was like, I'm like, why should I go with you? She's like, my husband, he's a producer for this record label and I want him to hear you. I'm like, okay. In that case, yes, let's go. I got in the car with her. She took me to her husband and I started rapping for him. And next day he was in my house with a big ass contract like this.

I told my dad, I don't even know what it says. I'm like, I don't care what it says, just sign it. I want to get my first deal. And that's how I got my first deal. Working at that supermarket, the album was whack. It was horrible. I mean, how creative can you be when you're 12 years old? I had to write all the lyrics myself and I wasn't really good writing in that moment. I was more a freestyler, you know? But I did

an album, it didn't sell anything. Can I curse here? Yeah, yeah, of course, yeah. Okay. In and sell shit. But the good thing about it, DJs recognized me all over Puerto Rico. The famous mixtape era was coming. I started recording in these mixtapes and I became one of the biggest artists in the mixtape industry, including Daddy Yankee. That obviously Daddy Yankee was like the boss in that moment in the mixtape. He was already the boss in those days. I'm talking about 1992, 93, 94, those years. And yeah, I mean, from the album, nothing happened with the album, but I got to be a bigger singer and more famous in Puerto Rico because of these

mixtapes. Yeah, how did you not let, like at such a young age, I can imagine that feeling, like you're getting a record deal, you have no idea what you're signing, but then as you said, the album was whack. How do you deal with the fact that was there any negativity at that time? No, no one cared.

I was just happy I had a deal. See, the thing is, in those days, the urban music, the reggaeton music was not even something that was happening. So just for me to have an album and show people that I had an album for me was big. I didn't care about having hits, because I didn't know about that.

To be honest with you, I didn't even think my album was going to be a hit. Because I knew about the people that was doing big. In those days we had Vico C, Brulli MC, all these rappers that were killing the game in the urban industry in Puerto Rico. So I know I was nothing like them. And to be honest with you, when I got to Puerto Rico, my Spanish wasn't really too good because I was born in the States.

So when I got to Puerto Rico, I had to learn the language. So if you listen to that album closely, you would realize my Spanish wasn't really that good. So imagine a kid singing, writing when he's 12 years old music, his Spanish is not the best. Obviously I didn't expect for it to be the best. I was just happy I had an album and I was signed. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I'm just trying to put myself back into that age and thinking how would I have felt if I was you. But one of the things that I saw,

I mean the docu-series that you had on Netflix was incredible. Appreciate it. It was super powerful and I remember when, I think it was like 2018 when it came out, but there was something that was really powerful in that there's the scene where you're, you have this experience of when you run into watching your mom outside a restaurant having sex in a car. Yeah.

Like that moment feels like a defining moment as well in your early life. Walk us through your head space in that moment. Wow. Well, the reality of everything is that I lived in a street where girls would work as prostitutes in the corners. I would see my mom in those corners. When she got into a car, I knew what was going on. So when you're a kid and you see stuff like that, obviously it affects you, but at the same time, you think it's normal, because you don't know better.

You know, you haven't seen a different world, you only see what's going on. The only thing that would probably made me think it's not normal is watching TV and seeing families on TV and stuff like that. But I just thought it was my life. And to be honest with you, the whole street where I was living, kids were living like that. So it was kind of like normal. It was kind of like normal. The reality is it's not normal. Today I suffer because of situations like that. Even if I have success in my life, even if I'm doing really good and stuff like that,

sometimes I go back to those traumas. You know what I'm saying? I go back to those moments that affects my life. A lot of people think as I told my story, it's done. And that's a lie. That's not the way it works. You still have it there. You still have it in your head. And even the situation with my mom and everything I went through living in the hood and all the stuff that I saw, when people come from the war, they have PTSD, right? They need to get medication because of that and stuff like that. The reality is when you live in the hood and you see all these stuff, like

stuff that I saw with my mom and situations that I saw in my house and stuff that I saw in the hood about friends of mine getting shot and other people that are not my friends getting shot and stuff like that, you get PTSD too. But people don't understand that. So when you get a situation, when you go through, back to the darkness, even if you're successful, people judge you and they're like, oh, he's back again. You saw my story. You saw what I went through. Why would you judge me?

When I came out with my story, you said, you deserve everything you have. It's funny because I always did deserve everything I had because I worked for what I had. All those moments, especially like the moment that you just talked about, my mom, because my mom, your mom as a man is everything for you. For sure. She's the base of the house. She's the one that take care of you. She makes you think that everything's going to be okay.

Not having that causes an effect in me in every situation, even with my kids. I don't know how to give the love that I have to give because I never had it. You know, a lot of people be saying sometimes, yeah, I'm going to give my kids everything I didn't have. That's not the way it works. If you don't know how to do it, how can you do it?

It affects me in every way, but the good thing I have a good sense of humor. And even in bad situations, I laugh and I make people laugh. I try to enjoy myself the best, but I hope that answers your question. Yeah, yeah, it does. No, thank you for being so open as well and vulnerable, man. I think it's amazing to see that because you're so right that when you're living your life, it looks normal. What age did you get to where you were like, oh, that's not normal?

Like when did it kind of register where you were like, oh, wait a minute. That's not what life looks like for everyone. Wow. You're going really deep. Okay. I can say this. My mom used to whoop me because I used to pee in my bed, right? I don't know, she probably didn't understand it. It was not something that I wanted to do. It just, it happens.

I wish- It's a normal thing kids do, yeah. I think when kids pee on their bed, I was like probably seven years old, something like that. It's just a problem that they have and automatically it happens. It's not like you wake up and it's not like you're like, I don't want to go to the bathroom. It's more like it's something that happens. You wake up and you just peed on your bed. So this kid, this white kid, his name is Billy. I wish I could

find them wherever he is. Billy Janetti, his name. I've been trying to look for him on Google because he was my best friend when I was a kid and I can't find them everywhere. wherever he is, Billy Janetti, his name. I've been trying to look for him on Google because he was my best friend when I was a kid and I can't find him everywhere. Probably had a, his name was different and I knew him as Billy Janetti. He studied with me in school and everything. I stayed at his house.

I stayed at his house. You know, it was, he was his kid, you know, typical white kid that had everything, you know, Atari, Nintendo and all that stuff. And his mom had his room decorated with a boy's room with posters on the wall and stuff like that. And I stayed at his house and I peed on the couch where I slept. I woke up frightened because I thought I was going to get my ass whooped. She comes to me and she sees me that I'm up because I turned on the light.

Billy's mom. Billy's mom. She's like, what happened? Are you okay? I'm like, I'm sorry. I peed on my bed. I peed on the couch. She's like, oh, it's okay.

Don't worry about that. I'll take care of that. She gave me clothes so I could take a shower, and she gave me food, and she took care of the situation. I was shocked. And I was like, oh, so this is how it should be. This is how it should be. It's not getting whooped.

And this is how she probably treats Billy. That's when I realized that what was going on in my house wasn't normal. That situation of me peeing on the bed affected me so much that because of my mom doing drugs and not taking care of what was going on in the house, I would go to school with my clothes smelling like pee. And the teacher in front of the kids would spray me, spray because I would smell bad. With cologne. With the spray, yeah. Deodorant.

Yeah. And she would spray me in front of everybody. Obviously the kids would laugh and that affected me as well. Obviously because it's embarrassing, you know, like in front of everybody. That's how important it is for the parents to do their job and take care of the kids, you know, because it's just, you know, it's not something that a kid should go through, you know? Why do you want to reconnect with Billy? What would you, what makes you want to reach out? Well, he was my best friend when I was a kid.

I just want to know how he looks like. I want to know, is he okay? I want to know if he's alive. I want to know if he remembers me. I want to know if he knows that I'm famous. He was my best friend when I was a kid, and we went through so much, and I wish I could see him again. I mean, I don't know, would you want to see a...

You know what is so funny? Because I have a similar, probably... How old were you when you and Billy were friends? Probably like eight, seven years old. So when I was at primary school, elementary school in England, it was... I had a friend that I recently connected with again, because I was talking about him on the show, and then he reached out, his name's Ian.

And so me and Ian, like he was my best friend in primary school since we were like four or five years old. Me too, me too. Exactly the same. And then I completely lost touch after 11, after we were 11 years old and we went to different secondary schools. How old are you now? I'm 36 now. 36, yeah. And so it was like, but I haven't seen him again, but we did message a bit. And it was just- I Googled his name 50 other ways and I just can't find him. I mean, his name, I wish you could see this show. I mean, his name is Billy Janetti.

I know him as Billy Janetti. And if you see this show, please hit me up on Instagram and DM me and let me see if I could at least meet you again and talk to you again. I would love to. Yeah, that's beautiful, man. Yeah, no, those kinds of friendships are different and yeah, that nostalgia of being able to look back and see-

Oh my God, a lot. Yeah. And I'm very nostalgic. Like, I'm fascinated with the past. And not only with my past, with the past. Like I see movies from the past and I go crazy. I don't know why I like them so much. Like I like to see how simple life was in the past.

I think it's so complicated now with all the, yes, you know, yes, we need it and stuff like that. But I used to like the way it was, you know. Would you say your life's become more simple or more complicated? It depends in what terms. If you're going to say in terms of temptation, it's simpler. If you're going to say in terms of a better lifestyle, no.

Even compared to what you grew up with? Yeah. I mean, I've... My girl's here right now and she knows that I don't even touch my phone anymore. I don't care about it anymore. I just feel that it's just toxic, you know? And even though we need it, I use it because we need it. But it doesn't make me happy anymore. I'm one of the first influencers of the Spanish reggaeton, not reggaeton, the first influencers there was back in 2014, when Instagram started. I used to do videos everywhere, sit down here, sit down everywhere, show my lifestyle, show the

way I would talk to people from the streets and make people laugh and make jokes and stuff like that. And it came to a moment where record labels wanted to obligate me to do it and it just didn't feel organic. And when something's not organic, it just doesn't feel good. What you're doing right now, you're doing it because you like it, you enjoy it. But when they tell you, you have to do it, it's different. It is different. You know?

It's different. You're doing this because you like it. I can see you enjoying your job. That's nice. That's badass. But when they like, we need you to do content because they like it. I can see you enjoying your job. That's nice. That's badass. But when they like, we need you to do content because they like Nicky Jam being an influence. I'm like, no, I'm not an influence. I'm a singer.

I do music and I started influencing people by Instagram, but do not obligate me to do something because automatically it's not anything that's obligated. It's not organic. And what's not organic doesn't look cool. You know? Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't work. It doesn't's not organic doesn't look cool. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't work. It doesn't work.

It doesn't work. And I think we're living at a special time right now where you can own your own media and you can, like you said with this show, like we can make it as long or as short as we like. We can sit down with whoever we want and find interesting. The thing is, record labels,

when I turn on a live or I do something, they see how everything goes up, numbers, and then they're like, oh, we need you to do this. I don't want to do nothing you need. I want to do something I need. I want to do something I like. I want to do something I enjoy. If you tell me you have to sing, I don't want to sing. If you tell me, can you please sing? I'll probably think about it. But there's nothing better than singing when you want to sing. When you want to do something, you enjoy it more. And that's just the way I am. Even in a relationship, if my girl tells me, go get me a cup of water, I'm like, hell no.

And she tell me, baby, can I get a cup of water? I get her 150 cups of water. And I rub her feet while she drinking it. Because that's just the way I am. You know what I'm saying? That's just the way I am. I don't run by command. I've never been that type of guy.

And that's why I have the success that I have, because I always live life the way I want to live it. It's a beautiful way to live, but the world's kind of set up with all these rules and contracts and things you have to sign and everything. So how have you managed to hold onto that? How have you kept that when there are so many demands and Nikki do this, Nikki do that? Like, I don't do shit.

Nobody tells me to do. I've never been that guy. And that probably could be a situation. Sometimes they call me and they say, we need you to do a video for this show. I'm like, I'm not doing it. I don't do stuff people tell me I have to do. I don't work like that. I don't like people telling me there's a structure of life.

There's a blueprint of living. Hell no. I live the life the way I want to live it. I'm a good guy and I always work with everybody and I listen to people because I'm open for ideas and I'm open for everything. I'm not open for commands. It's just that. That's just the way I am. If you tell me, Nikki, what do you think if we do this? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why? Why? I want to know why. Yeah. Well, because I think if you do this and we do it this way, we could do that and this could happen. I'm like, okay. Yeah. Okay. Let's do it. Let's work. You know,

I'd rather work that way than a command and telling me I have to. And just, that's just the way I am. And that's, that's the way I've been living for years. That's what I was going to say. It makes sense for you because you've had to be your own boss and make decisions in tough times and you've had to be responsible. I've paid my dues because of that too at the same time. I've been in situations where I almost got killed a lot of times, not once, probably like 50, 60 times. I've been in jail. I've been through so many things because I do whatever the fuck I want to do.

But at the same time, I've done so many good things because I do whatever the fuck I want to do. I've had so much success, and it's not even about success. It's about helping people too. Because the mean of everything is, my whole way of thinking about things is, I want to inspire people. If I open a restaurant, if I do a song, if I give away a scholarship, anything I do, even if I f*** up, I want people to get inspirated by it.

Because the reality is we all f*** up. We're human beings, we're not angels, we don't have wings and shit. We all f*** up. So I want people to see things as inspiration. To be honest with you, I know people think, they saw my story and they see it like, well, he's already has his success. He had his bad moments. He woke up like the Phoenix, because they call me the Phoenix in the urban music game, because I came from the ashes and I came back and I did a comeback and conquered the world

and so ever, so ever. But the reality of everything is I still go through shit. I still have my bad, not bad days, bad months. Well, I could say a whole bad year, even if I have success. Because we have these skeletons in the closet that are trying to pull me back. The past is killing me. And a lot of people be like, the past, that's not the way it works. We have a lot of people, especially men going through mental problems, and they just don't talk about it. They scared of talking about it. It's not easy

for a man to do it because a man always have to have shit together. I'm a man. I never have a problem. I take care of everything, but that's not the way it works. I go through anxiety sometimes. I get panic attacks. I get nervous. I get the shakes, I get a lot of shit I start thinking about because I'm a human being. And I went through a lot of shit and I'm paying a lot of things that I went through and a lot of things that I did in the past. Even if I have success, even if I help somebody, even if tomorrow I'll give $100 to a homeless guy or give away a scholarship through the Grammys or I don't know, give away a whole concert for free or whatever I do, I still,

I smile but I go through my bad moments. So it's just life. It's just life. What creates the... It sounds like, it almost feels like you have that to share today. Like you've come here with this feeling of like, I want people to know that despite the success, despite the arc of my journey from like a lot of pain to finding my genius and flow and the greatness that you've achieved, that you want people to know that I still have human emotions. I still have issues.

What would you say are those things that come up now? What are the roots of those? What are those? No, I'm going to be honest with you. And I've never opened up in any of these shows about this. I've been going through alcohol problems this whole last year. It's because for some reason the past came back to me and people have seen this, you know? And it affected me in a way that even I even said I was going to retire. And that's a lie. I'm not retiring. I will never retire. I even posted a video. I edited a video and I posted it that I was retiring. It was alcohol. You know, I've been battling with this for a couple of years now.

I could say one or two years. I can't say I'm an alcoholic, because if I say I'm an alcoholic, I'm lying. An alcoholic is a person that sees alcohol and starts shivering and drinks every single day. But I go through my days where I go crazy, five or six days. People see this. And people seen this and to be honest with you, I smoke weed today because I'm dealing with the anxiety of not drinking. I've been stopping drinking and all that because of the weed.

The weed been helping me in a way and people seeing me smoke and they're like, oh, he went back. Well, weed was never a problem for me. It was perks and cocaine and other stuff. Weed was never a problem for me. It was perks and cocaine and other stuff. Weed was never a problem for me. So when people start seeing me smoking weed, they were like, oh, he went back again. Or they saw me drinking alcohol. He went back again. Reality is I've always been battling with my situation. I've just had good years, seven, eight, nine years. And then I have my struggles again with other stuff. You can say the alcohol, the weed,

I don't see as a drug. It's just the way I see it. I smoke, it makes me chill. I get hungry sometimes. I eat. I laugh. and it gets my mind off all the negativity and drinking and stuff like that. And I just felt judged by people, just because I stopped doing the other stuff and I've been clean for so many years and then they see me smoking weed or they see me drinking alcohol. They judge me, but they saw my past. And it's contradicting because it's like, okay, so you see my past, you say you feel bad about my situation, you understand my situation, but then you see me fall in any situation or you see me do anything to deal with

my anxiety or my present moment and you judge me. And yeah, I do feel a type of way that it pisses me off. I ain't going to be lying. But I can't get mad at the same time because people don't understand. You can't get mad if people don't understand your situation, you know? But at the same time, can you judge somebody if you don't know the situation? Oh yeah. Who are we to judge? I judged my mom for so many years until I heard what happened to her in the past. And that's why today I respect my mom and I understand my mom.

She had a crazy past. So I wish I could share it, but I'd respect for her. I won't do it. Absolutely. I respect you too. I don't know if I have the green light. Stuff that I did talk about my mom is because I had the green light from her to talk about. But probably one day I come out and do another series.

And she gives me the green light to talk about whatever. I don't think I'll do another series about my life. I think what I did was enough. And in a way, I don't want to be in a box. I feel people box me like this. How do you say this in English? Because I think in Spanish so much. Like a role model. I don't want to be a role model. I appreciate that people see me as a role model, but I'm a human being. And if I have to be a perfect human being to be a role model, I don't want to be a role model. I want to keep being a human being. I want to be able to fall and get back up again and fall and get back up again and

f***ing fall and get back up again. I don't want to be boxed as this role model just because people want to see me as a role model. And after I did the series, people see me as this guy that can't up. Why? I'm not an angel. When you go to church, a lot of people could say, I don't like going to church because I see shit in church that I don't like and I see people from church doing things they don't have to do. They're not angels. They're fighting their battles. You cannot expect them to be perfect, even the pastor.

He's going to fuck up. He's a human being. Now, if we in the sky and we with God and there's angels fucking up, I understand. But none of these motherfuckers got wings. They human beings. People don't understand that. And it's easy to judge people. It's easy to judge people, but if you had my money and you had my power and you had

my past and you had my career, how would you manage it? You know? You can't say you know how you're going to do it because you never had it before, you know? Hey, you're just catching me as I have my midday pick me up. I'm sure you've heard about Junie. Radhi and I put all of our love into creating this amazing drink.

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It's powerful to hear that having context of your mom's past was so helpful in you making sense of who she was and why she was that way. I want to know for you, what was it that took you to drugs the first time and what was it that took you back to alcohol this time? Like what were the two motivations that took you there the first time and now as well? Drugs was some was part of my family since I was a kid My uncle died of AIDS because he he shot heroin Using somebody else's needles. He died in my face My dad did drugs my mom did drugs in the house. My uncle did drugs. My other uncle did drugs. Everybody in the house would come to my house

to do drugs and I would see that, a whole bunch of zombies in my house. So this started since that. And then when I'm 11 years old, I moved to Puerto Rico and kids in Puerto Rico were doing drugs like nothing in the hood. I'm not saying everybody in Puerto Rico does drugs. Where I was raised, it was normal to see kids doing drugs. And at 11, I started smoking weed. And from weed, a couple of years after I went to Coke, what made me do Coke was the first girl that I had.

She left me for another man when I was 14 or 15 years old. She left me because I was a kid and I didn't have a job or nothing like that. She left me for a man that had a job and had inspiration and had all that blah, blah, blah. My mom abandoned me. So to have another girl abandon me, it affected me in to heroin, heroin to ecstasy, ecstasy to any type of drug until I got hooked with the perks and codeine. I was doing perks, 30 perks a day for years. I cleaned myself for years because I got my shit together and I said, I know it was destroying me and it was destroying my body and destroying my mind, destroying

my health. But when I had success and I did it all and I was all this money and it's lonely in the top. For some reason, that lifestyle took me back to the past. I started going out. I didn't do anything and I was bored and somebody had a thing of champagne and I just took one and I started drinking one and from there it went to give me another one and there it gave me another one and then I started traveling and I went to Europe and then the base where I was staying was Amsterdam during the week. And I had a little bar on the front and I started drinking and drinking and drinking. And I thought it was something that I could do while I was touring during the week. And then weekends I would perform.

Went back to Miami. It wasn't the same. I was still in Amsterdam, even if I was in Miami. And that's how I got back to it. Where do you go for help? Like when you cleaned the first time and now you're being so open about this challenge that you have right now, like how have you been able to find the right help to support you through that? Myself, myself and my people, my girl.

You know, my girl would tell me, Nikki, you drink and you sleep for a whole day and I'd be alone. That affected me. I'm like, oh shit, like really? Like I leave you alone for like eight hours and shit and all the shit that I would do that I wouldn't remember, you know? And I'm like, I don't want to be that guy. I don't want to be a guy that do things and don't remember. So that helped me a lot. People around me, see people

around me, not liking me being this guy that's drinking. I've had fun. I ain't going to lie. This whole time, I don't want to make it a sad story. I don't want people to think that I've been sad and crying. I've had a lot of fun, a lot of fun, but too much fun is not good. Too much fun is not good. If you forget shit and you don't remember shit, it's bad. That's why I started smoking because I'm very anxious. If you see me here, I can't stop moving. That's just the way I

am. I've been like that since I was a kid. I've never told this story before, but when I was a kid, I ate lead, paint with lead. They paint the house where I was living with lead and I used to eat that when I was a kid. So that lead got into my blood and that lead affected me in a way that it makes me very anxious. My sister had it too. So all the drugs that I did in the past and all that affected my nervous system. So I'm a very anxious person and I ain't going to lie, the weed helps me a lot. It's been helping me a lot.

Probably somebody hears me and is like, you're stupid. You're leaving something for another thing or whatever. I do whatever I got to do to feel better and I'd rather smoke than drink. I'm not doing the perks I used to do in the past with the cocaine, et cetera. I don't even know why I'm telling you so much shit. I appreciate it. No, man. I think it's, I mean, it's real. It's real. Oh, I'm real. Yeah. And if anything, it's impressive how aware you are of yourself having had so much trauma,

stress, pain. Like you're so aware. Like that's what I'm noticing in you. I'm listening to you. I'm like, well, this person's so aware. You're so open to people in your inner circle, being able to share their feedback with you. You said it's lonely at the top, but it seems like you've surrounded yourself with people that can be honest with you and are honest with you.

And that's beautiful. You could have good people next to you and still feel lonely. Yeah. It's weird. I don't know how to explain that. For some reason, you can have good people next to you. I have a good circle of people.

I have good friends. I have a good girl. I have beautiful kids. My kids are big now. They're all in college and high school. I'm not the typical guy that calls the family every day and checks on them. My kids are big now. They're all in college and high school. I'm not the typical guy that calls the family every day and checks on them. I'm the guy that when you call, I'm there.

My dad calls me and I'll be there in a second. Anything he needs, my mom as well, my kids as well, even my friends. Sometimes I just don't want to be next to people, but it's not because I'm a jerk because I love my friends. And my friends have been my family for a long time because I've been on the road so long. I've been more on the road than in my house. Traveling the world, I've traveled the world. I've done so much around the world that to be in my house is just something that doesn't

happen. But yeah, sometimes you still feel lonely. It's just the traumas, man. The traumas take you there, but I deal with it. I mean, I'm just opening it up to you. I'm not... It's not that I'm... I've been laughing my whole way here. I have a good time. I make fun of myself. I joke around everywhere I go. I have a lot of fun. But I'm a human being and that's what I want people to understand. I have my days just like you. I have my depressions just like you. I have my insecurities just like you. I have my... All that shit that people think we don't have because we have money, we have cars, we have

all that bullshit that the reality is just nothing. The end of the day, it's just when you're alone in that bed, you're dying in that bed, you don't have a Ferrari next to you. You don't have a whole bunch of girls next to you. You don't have a whole bunch of friends next to you. It's your family who's there to you. You don't have a whole bunch of friends next to you. It's your family who's there with you. So I'm real.

Yeah, now walk me through, there's some things you said to me that I think people won't experience once, let alone 50, 60 times. You were saying like nearly being killed. Like what is that? That must be a life altering experience. But when you've had it 50, 60 times, I mean,

do you become immune to that? Does that just become normal? Walk me through? Not now. No, not now. Cause I left that life a long time ago, but yeah. At that time? And that time, yes, of course. Yeah.

I was, I didn't care. Walk me through one of the events of that was the worst, like that was the closest. Oh my God. I mean, there's so many things I can't even talk about because of the thing. Well, I could, I Well, I could almost talk about, I was at this club and I just bought a gun. I bought a gun and for some reason this gun, if you lower the safety, it shoots because the gun was... They put it fully automatic in a street way. So I bought this gun, I went

into a club. The way I got into the club with the gun is funny. I put it in my chain and I tucked it in. Security guy touched it. I said it was, if you had like a, how do you call that? Like a Rosemary or something like that, or a Santa Maria or anything in gold. They can't touch it because it's prepared. It's a Puerto Rican thing. And so I got in my gun and I shot the gun inside there. And then the...

Not at someone, just... No, no, I didn't want to shoot it. I lowered the safety and it shot. So I'm in the safety and it shot. So I'm in the club and the big guy from Puerto Rico, the one that was... I'm not going to say names, but the big guy, he was there and this right man was there too. And they tell him, yo, Nicky's shooting in the club. And the big guy knew me, the top guy, he knew me and he was like, oh, you know, Nicky, I'll

deal with him. Don't worry about that, he's my boy. But then I was hiding myself behind this guy because I knew I just shot the roof of the club and I didn't want nobody to know it was me and I had an argument with the guy and the guy said he was with the top guy and I said, I don't care you with the top guy, but he told the top guy, he's like, Nicki said he don't care about you. So his right hand man came to shoot me and then I shoot my way out, I shot him too and they gave me that phone call saying, bro, wherever we get you, it's done. That was a scary moment because I know who this guy was and he was one of the biggest

guys in Puerto Rico. Long story short, the whole music industry helped me not get killed and I had to pay my way to help the guy because the guy had, how do you call this? He had diabetes. So if you get shot having diabetes, for some reason it affects you way more. And I had to like pay a lot of money in that moment. We didn't make that much money in the industry,

in the music industry. And I got out of that, but that's just one of the stories, of a whole bunch of stories I could tell you. Wow, man. And like you said, there's real fear there. There's real fear. No, when a guy like that calls you and tells you it's done, it's one of the worst things you could hear in your life.

I went through a lot of stuff, man. I went through a lot of stuff and I was just a rebel. My mom not being there made me not care about living. And it's just the way it was. How long were you ever in prison for for the longest time? Like three years. Three years in one stretch? Yeah.

Walk us through what three years in prison looks like, because I feel like, again, most people only see it in the movies and, you know, it's glorified in a TV show. At the beginning, you get all claustrophobic and you feel like, you feel like you're going to die. I mean, come on. You're used to living in a house and from living in a house, you're living in four walls. Like this. Like smaller than this. No, this is huge, bro.

No, I mean... From where you are to where I am and probably a little bit over here, that's it. That's all you got in a toilet. But the reality of everything, I've always been the soul of the party. So I made these people have fun. I sang for them. I made jokes all day because I'm a joker.

I be doing jokes. And people love me. People love me and they were going to give me six years and from six years I came out in three. So I try not to talk too much about that because it was crazy days, but I could tell you that I thought for one moment everything was going to be done when I got into that place. And as soon as I came out, coming inside it is not a problem. When you come out and you front everything that you left

before you went inside jail, just like drugs, you stop doing drugs and then you gotta confront yourself with all the things that made you get into drugs. So I don't know. I just, I'm just happy I'm not, I'm outside. Yeah, no, I'm fascinated because I'm outside. Yeah, no, I'm fascinated because it's such a unique life experience that, you know, I don't get to speak to someone who's had that experience and then had the other experience that you've had. So to me, I'm just curious because I feel like we have such a limited understanding of that life experience from the outside in, like you have no clue what it looks like to have that experience. And I love what you said that it's actually harder when you come out and you've got to

see where everything's kind of, you got to catch up with life. Catch up with life and you know, and then come back and do a comeback. And it was worse. I came out and it was worse and worse and worse. And I did more drugs and more drugs. And it was, it came to a moment I looked all messed up because Perks was a drug that will make you eat. So I was a drug addict. I was a big drug addict. You know what I'm saying? I was an overweight drug addict. I would rather be a skinny drug addict.

It makes more sense. But I wasn't. I was eating all this shit and overweight and just embarrassment, embarrassments, embarrassments. So it was just horrible. But moving to Columbia changed my life. Why? Why did that change your life? Well, the reality is sometimes you have to move. You can't stay in one place.

And they called me for a show in Columbia when I was in my worst moment. And I went over there and I performed. Reality, I acted like I was my own manager. I changed my voice. They're like, yo, can we get a Nicky Jam for the AT? One moment, let me put my manager. They changed my voice. They're like, yo, can we get a Nicky Jam for the AT? One moment, let me put my manager. Yes, what do you need right now? Change my voice. And I acted like I was my own manager. And I went to Columbia and I'm thinking over here, I'm

the worst guy on the list of singers that's going to be in this concert. All these kids were popping. They were killing the game. I haven't been in Columbia for a long time, so I go over there and I'm over here thinking, damn, I'm going to sing these old songs. I've been out of the game for so long and not doing well. I don't know if I want to go on stage. I got even nervous and everything. I'm seeing that all these kids are performing and they saving me for last. I tell the promoter, like, bro, why are you leaving me for last? You got all these kids, they killing the game right now.

They doing everything perfect. Why are you leaving? He's like, we saving you for last, bro, because you're the one people want to see. You never did a show here when you was really popping, so people want to see you. So when I got on stage, it was standing ovation. I mean, people were like crazy. And it went from that to that same two weeks, I was doing like 15 shows I did. Cheap, but hey, I made some money and I paid the rent. Went back to Puerto Rico,

paid the rent, bought myself a car, da, da, da, da. And I'm thinking, the am I doing here in Puerto Rico? This country that loves me so much. I'm working and I feel good over there. So I started, it started for me like staying two weeks, three weeks to me saying, you know what? I'm moving here. I'm moving to this country. And I was going through a bad moment there. I was going through a really bad moment in Puerto Rico and I went through a lot of embarrassment and stuff like that. So people in Columbia was seeing me as an idol, an icon. They were like, Nikki, you're an icon.

I'm like, icon? What do you mean? I'm broke. Icon, overweight, broke. How are you gonna call me an icon? But people, see, when people give you that love and they say you're the best, you believe it. So thanks for them people giving me that love and saying I're the best, you believe it.

So thanks for them people giving me that love and saying I'm the best. I did believe I was the best until I became the best and I conquered the world. I realized the country had more than 65 million people and it was the YouTube era and I said, you know what? If I have one number one hit, national hit in this country, I could probably have so many views that I could make other countries want to know why I have so many views.

And it went from having one national hit to five national hits and having 15 million in one song, 20 million in another one, 30 million in another one, people was like, yo, Nicki's popping. And from there it went to Chile, from there it went to Ecuador, from there it went to Europe, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then from there I did five number one global hits. Did the World Cup, did movies in Hollywood, et cetera, et cetera. I did everything and thanks to Columbia.

Thanks for the love they gave me. Thanks for the support they gave me. Thanks for making me think that I was somebody bigger than I thought I was. And that's just something that I appreciate so much. And that's why I love the country everywhere I go. And that's just something that I appreciate so much. And that's why I love the country everywhere I go. And every country I go, I talk about Colombia. I could be in Mexico and I talk about Colombia.

I could be in Puerto Rico and I talk about Colombia and I say, hey, if you guys see two Colombians walking around the streets, give them love. Why? Because they took one of yours and they gave them love. That's just the way I see it. That's the way I believe it. If I see somebody from Colombia struggling in my country,

if I'm living in Puerto Rico, I'll get them in my house. I'll take care of them because Colombia did it with me. They gave me love when I needed it. I owe them so much. That's why I always try to show love know, show love and do whatever I could do to help the country, you know? Yeah. I really believe in this idea of having a power place or a purpose place in the

world, there are certain places that you move to that it feels like the whole universe is conspiring for you to grow and become something. Yeah. Columbia is exactly that. Columbia is that for you. And I appreciate that so much, you know, even if I wish, I wish I would have went before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's, I mean, there's a reason why like places become iconic for something.

Like you look at Silicon Valley and tech, or you look at LA and entertainment, you look at New York and finance, you look at, you know, even I was with my friend in, you know, we're in this, we're in Oxford in England. And like literally every book that we grew up on, whether it was Alice in Wonderland or Lord of the Rings was written in that area of Oxford. Of course. And so it's like you've got all these hubs in the world where writers, creatives, artists, entrepreneurs gravitate because there's an energetic pull in that place. And for you, Columbia sounds like it was that power place, that purpose place. It was, it was 100%. And I'm really grateful for the country and I would always give love and show love to

the country until the day I die. And I don't mind dying in Colombia, you know, because I feel like I'm dying home, you know. What was it like having that conversation with your mom after you had context of whatever she went through? What did it feel like to like approach that? Because the reason I ask it is I feel like a lot of us judge our parents for not giving us enough, for not being there, for maybe, you know, creating our trauma, et cetera. How do you then have that conversation to be like, I don't judge you, like, this is how I, like, how do you even navigate a conversation? My mom is not an easy individual. My mom is very complicated. She's not... Well, you got to understand my mom was a lady that when she was a drug addict most of her life, it's not like

you're going to talk to a typical mom that's going to talk to you and say, yes son, how you doing? It's a person that literally was raised in the streets. Having a conversation with my mom is not the easiest thing in the world, but I give her the message in a strong way because I have my mom's character. I don't know if that's the right way of saying it. My sister has my dad's and my mom is a strong woman and she don't take shit from nobody. And I'm a strong mother ... I don't take shit from nobody. That's just the way I am. I've always been like that since I was a kid. I was raised like that and my mom raised me like that and in the

small time she was with me, she would tell me in school, she was like, if you go and you fight in school and the kid you was fighting with, he beat up more than you, I'm going to whoop your ass when you get home. Automatically, my mom gave me that, I got to whoop people's asses. If I go back home, my mom's going to whoop me and I'm scared, I'm more scared of my mom than the kid in school. So she made me a tough guy, you know? She made me a tough guy. The conversation was just me being strong to her and telling her, hey, you know what?

You did this. You went through this. I understand you. I went through a lot of shit myself. I needed you. Well, you here now and we here. And that's all that matters. And I take care of her. I bought her a house. I give her money monthly. Anything she needs, I take care of her. It's hard to have a relationship. She lives in Dominican Republic. She can't travel. I've been fighting for her to have a relationship, she lives in Dominican Republic, she can't travel. I've been fighting for her to have her apart from the United States so she could come back. She can't have

it right now, but I'll leave everything in God's hands. Do you pray a lot, I'm alive man. I Have so much It's so funny man, I have so much ADD that even if I pray I can lose myself So it goes for I don't know if I'm the only one that has that situation I think we all have that uh, I think we all have like it's what I talk to God. Yeah, yeah. I don't pray. Yeah. Because praying has a process. You know, praying is just not like, yeah, God, I need you to hook me up with this and

that. No, praying is more like, you know, like you have to first say, you know, thank you for everything I have, ask for other people's blessings and health and all that, and then you talk about yourself. That's the right way of doing it. That's the way the Bible says you should do it. I don't go through all that process every time. I do it sometimes. But I talk to God here and there. I know, I talk to God and I have conversations with God. I feel like God is my best friend. I know it's not the right way. I know I should pray more.

Oh, I mean, that sounds beautiful. Yeah. That sounds like the essence of prayer. Yeah, I mean, I, I, I, well, me being a guy that knows about the Bible and knows about the Word of God, I know there's a better way of having a connection with God and a better way of praying. They say that you wake up every morning and you get on your knees and you pray, it's the right way. I wake up noxious in the morning, now I feel like I'm sick in the morning, I got to eat something first. So if I get on my knees and I start praying and I don't feel good, I don't feel like I'm

giving the best. I don't know if I'm- No, I think you're all of us. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I feel like, I mean, can I at least eat a piece of bread or something so I can like really focus on praying the right way? That's brilliant. I mean, look at my past and look at everything I've been through, and I'm still here.

I feel God has a purpose for me. He has a huge purpose for me. And I feel God loves me the way I am. I feel if I go to heaven and I'll probably joke around with God and playing around with his beard and just the way I see myself. He made me. He knows the way I am. He knows my essence.

He made me. I have respect for God. I love God. And I know the time will come where I would have to really dedicate myself to God because he has given me so much and I haven't given him what I have to. So I know I owe God a lot. That's beautiful.

I'll pay him back. I'll pay him back. You've had a lot of figures in your life that have been important at different times. And of course, as you mentioned earlier, Daddy Yankee was in that mixtape time and growing you and then of course, I believe the relationship didn't go as, relationships fizzle out and don't always work the same. Have you found a way to reconcile those relationships as well or are you kind of sometimes like if it didn't work out,

part ways move on? Well, the only persons who I had situations like that or person was Daddy Yankee and me and him were better than ever. He texted me, I think it was yesterday or today. He's in church now. He's with God now 100%. And I'm really happy for him. And he knows what I've been going through and all that. And we've talked before, we had conversations and me and him are better than ever now. So I can't say forgiveness because he didn't do anything to me. If we could say it was the other way around, he always tried

to be the big brother and I always tried to be the wreck. Getting that Yankee out of the situation, any person that I've had problem with that done something to me, I forgive and I feel better. Because the forgiveness is not for them, it's for yourself, you know? And I feel better, you know? I've had problems, even here today, I have a friend, he's right here with me and we didn't talk to each other

for, I don't know, four years or something like that. We was mad, we had bad situations and now we're joking in the car like nothing happened. I think that's the way it should be. Life is too short to hold crushes and be mad and shit and be mad with people. Just go back to people. They gave me so much in a moment that it's crazy not to be with them. They can f*** up too, you know? People f*** up and sometimes do things that other people will never forgive. Now I'm going to tell you this though. I forgive, but I never forget. And with that I'll say

everything. Last year when I went on my world tour, something that I was doing throughout the show was I was creating moments of growth, but that would discomfort for people from the audience. I would bring people up and I would guide them and coach them through an uncomfortable situation in their life. So at the end of the show,

there was this one moment that we did across the world. So we did have 40 shows across the world. And I would ask people in the audience if there was this one moment that we did across the world. So we did have 40 shows across the world. And I would ask people in the audience if there was someone in their life that they loved, but that they haven't talked to in five, 10, 15 years. And people had crazy stories. There were people who like hadn't talked to their kids for 10 years, brothers and sisters

who hadn't talked for five years, you know, people who hadn't talked to their ex for seven years, whatever, all these stories. And I'd invite someone on stage who felt comfortable and I'd coach them through it and they'd have to, I'd ask them to call that person on stage in front of everyone, but not tell them that they're at an event and share how they really felt.

And it was amazing, man, to see like out of the 40 phone calls, 20 went to voicemail, but 20 went through to the person. And it wasn't about a happy ending or it wasn't about like a perfect reconnection. It was about what you said, life was too short to carry that weight of I love this person and I haven't said it. Or I used to really appreciate this friend and we lost touch. We fell out over nothing or maybe we fell out over something. When you're reconnecting with people in your life, what's been the thing that's allowed you to have the courage to do that?

Like you've done it with your mom, you've done it with Daddy Yankee. Like where's that coming from? That's just sneaky. I only have one friend that I didn't talk to, that I had problems with is the one I just told you. I'm the stupid one that always forget people. When I say stupid, it's because that's what people tell me. You know, not because I think I'm stupid,

because I forgive people and I reconnect with them again. I just, I don't care. I just don't care. It don't affect me anymore. Like if something affect me in a moment, but I don't, it makes me forget it. I don't know why it's just the way I am. I don't stay with that shit here.

Probably it makes me a better person. I feel, no, probably it makes me a person, a happier person. I feel that I'm a happier person because of that. I'm not saying I'm perfect. I'm not saying I don't go through shit. Yes, I have a whole bunch of situations in life, but I have better quality of life because I forgive. I have no problem with forgiveness. I have no problem with sitting

in a car with somebody that f*** me in the past. I have no problem with that. I don't feel like some people with the ego f*** them up, like, oh yeah, you think you f*** me, I'm gonna get you, m***a, n***a, n***a, n***a. I don't have that situation. If I love you back again, I love you back again. You know, it's just the way I am. You know, and I don't want people to be like me.

I just want people to do whatever the you do to make you happy. You know, whatever makes you happy, just do it. That's what I do. I ain't trying to live life the way people tell me to. I'm trying to live the way life, the way I'm happy. You know, that's just the way I am. Does that apply to you as well? Do you think you can forgive yourself easily as well?

You know, I've never seen me in a situation where I do not forgive, where I need forgiveness for myself because I've done people things to people. I've been a good human being to people, you know. Stuff I've done in the streets and stuff like that are to people. Stuff I'd done in the streets and stuff like that are to people that are really bad people. So I don't know if I need their forgiveness. But I feel good about me as a human being. I'm happy and I'm proud of myself. I've helped my family, I've helped people in the streets, I've helped my friends. If I buy a motorcycle, we all have motorcycles. If I eat, we all eat. That's just the way I am. The guy in the corner, if he's there, he ain't eating, come eat with me. You know what I'm saying? I like helping people. I enjoy the smiles on people's face when I help them. I'm proud of myself, because I'm that human being. If I wasn't that human being, I wouldn't be.

I'm not a selfish mother fucker. I will never be that guy. I see movies where people help other people and I cry. Tears like that. My girl's been with me in the same room and she's seen me crying like a girl in fucking movies. Why? Because I'm a girl in movies. Why? Because I'm a good human being.

When you a good human being and you see people doing good, you cry. But if you see shit like that and you don't give a, I just think you a piece of shit too. That's just the way I am. Because you don't care. Why would you not care? Why would you, why won't you see somebody helping somebody else? Don't

see that in... Why would that not affect you? It affects me in a good way. It's like shit. I'm proud of myself as a human being. I'm proud who I am. I'm proud that I like helping people. I'm proud that I'm a real person. I'm proud that I'm a person that if I go up, I'll say it up, you know, that's just the way I am. And I'm not perfect. I'll never be perfect. And I'll go up tomorrow and I'll fall. But I'll wake up and I'll clean my shit.

I keep going. You know, why did you say you were going to retire when you said today you were like, I would never have done that. And then what has inspired insomnia? What part of your heart and mind is that drinking? Drinking makes you say stupid things, make makes you get depressed, makes you see everything everything closes. It's not really.

And that's what was going on in that situation. And it made me post a thing that I was retiring. I'm not retiring, never. Hell no. I will never retire. Music is my life. Music is everything for me. But that's what fucking alcohol do.

It fucks up your judgment. And I've been through that a lot. For some reason, it made me not care in that moment. Once I stopped drinking, I was like, hell no. I erased that video and everything. But now, I'm not retiring. You was asking about the album. The album, yeah, what's that been inspired by

with this whole new journey you're on right now? Like you said, you're- If you listen to the whole album, Insomnia, all the songs has something to do with the nighttime and me drinking and me partying and me going crazy and me smoking and me, my love lives and stuff like that. So the album has that situation that I've been going through these last years. Music is my art of expression. And I took my time to do this album, and I think it's one of the best albums I've ever

done. Everything is just, everything has the same color. The album cover is amazing. It's really what I've been through. If you see the picture, you would automatically say, okay, I could understand him just seeing his face. The songs from the number one song to the 15th song. Not only that, apart from that, this song Insomnia, that's the single that's coming out, for me is going to be a global hit because I went hard on this song.

It talks about the situation of my drinking and all that, but at the same time, it's a sad song, but it's a happy song. It's crazy. If you listen to it, you will never imagine the way it started, because it started as a slow R&B sad song. I told my boy, the guy that wrote the song with me, Sneak is a badass by the way.

Thanks, man. I was telling him, yo, the song is badass, but we need an upbeat. We need to make this shit upbeat, man. We need to shit. This song is too good to be just one of the songs in the album. Just one of the songs. I was like, hell no. We need to make this shit a motherfucking hit. And I said, let's do Merengue. And I was in the bathroom with my girl and I started around, you know what I'm saying? Like singing a song. I did it with my mouth. And I said, I called my producers like, yo, let's try to do this. And we took it that route. And bro, I think we cooked a mega hit. So I think the album is just me expressing myself of what I've been through these last years. And at the same time, it made good

ass music. So I want people to enjoy it. I want people to have fun with this album and sit down and analyze the lyrics because every song has a little something that tells you about what I've been through and what I've been going through these last years. I noticed something amazing. When you started talking about the album, you went completely still. When I was? When you started talking about the music, your whole body and everything went completely still. Completely still.

If everyone rewinds and just goes back to that, when you were locked in talking about the music and the album. I mean it's my art man. It's my art. It's amazing. It's my psychology. My psychology, what? Psychology, yeah.

It's my psychology. You know? I feel like it tells my story. It tells my situation. It makes me happy in a way where I can express myself. And we're always misunderstood as artists. And there's no better way to clear the misunderstandings by your art. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. What's something that people don't know about you that you wish they did? I don't know. I'm so open. Yeah, that's what I asked. I was like, you've shared so much of your life. I tell people the way I am. I don't care. I speak what I think.

It's really hard. What's something people misunderstand about you that you'd like to clarify? It could be my situations and my relationships. A lot of people see me jumping around from relationship to relationship. Well, not jumping around, but let's say I've had a lot of relationships that haven't worked.

And for some reason people think that I'm just unstable. And not necessarily unstable. I just think that sometimes it doesn't work. And it's not easy being an artist and doing what I do and having stable relationships. And if you've seen my past and you see what I've been through, you can't expect me to have the typical picket white fence relationship. It's just not the way it works. I didn't have that in my house, so why should I have that now? And

I'm always on the road and it's just really hard. It's not like I'm a picky guy, I don't care, and I just throw away girls like nothing. But I don't care about that. The end of the day, people will never understand you 100%. For sure. And you can't try to make people understand you. You don't need to. You know, I envy old people when they're 60 years old or 70 years old, they don't give a... They don't care. They wake up in the morning and take a pill, they eat, go to sleep.

They don't stress about anything. But in your age, in my age, we always like, ah, life, gotta make money. You know what I'm saying? Like I want to be them. I want to not give a... I want to not care. I want to just enjoy life, enjoy my friends, enjoy my family, enjoy my girl. Enjoy my fans, whoever are my fans, because there's fans and there's people that are not

your fans that just talking shit. Fans don't talk shit. Real fans are there with you, no matter what you go through. If you up, you're down, you're fat, you're skinny, dead or alive, they're fans. So shout out to my real fans. I love you mother to death. For sure. For sure.

How hard was the gastric bypass surgery you went through? Was it very physically challenging? Was it stressful? It was stressful when I was in bed before the surgery, but after that, man, it was awesome. I enjoyed it. I do it again. I enjoyed it a lot. And it helped me a lot.

A lot of stuff was messing up my stomach, like food that I was eating. Now I don't have that situation. I feel better health, play basketball like I'm 20 years old. I'm good. I feel good. I enjoy it a lot. It helped me a lot. A lot of food that I couldn't eat before, I can eat now. You know, healthy food. So, yeah, I mean, it was a hard process after, because, you know, you're just drinking liquids

and shit. But once you can start eating the, you know... How long do you have to be on liquids for? I think it's like two weeks. Oh wow. Just Liquids for two weeks. There's Liquids in two weeks. It's not easy. That's not easy. I've been eating popsicles.

I was eating popsicles the whole time. I was like, pop, pop, pop. I'm like, popsicles. Nikki, it's been such a joy getting to know you, man. And I appreciate the honesty, the vulnerability. And it's impressive to just see how aware you are of everything going on when you've been through so much. You've had some incredible life experience and to be standing where you are with being, having

the ability to look in a mirror and be able to see yourself and your challenges, it's really special man. So I appreciate you. At the end of the day, there's this therapy for me too. I appreciate you. And at the end of the day, there's this therapy for me too. So I appreciate you. Sometimes we need it. Of course. I think probably most of the times we need it. Of course.

For me having you make me talk all of this makes me live a lot better and have a better day today. So I appreciate you so much. I hope that all the people enjoy the show and enjoy what we talk today and learn from what they hear and see it as a constructive way and not a negative way. Because sometimes people, they try to see things in a negative way. But like I said, I've learned this, more stupid is the stupid that argues with the stupid. I don't argue with stupid people anymore.

I just, I ain't trying to be stupid anymore. They say it like that. So I just sit back, enjoy life and keep going. Yeah, for sure. We end every interview with a fast Five, which means you have to answer every question in one word to one sentence maximum. So you can have one word to one sentence for each question. So I'll ask you a Fast Five. It's a light, lightning round. So I can say, I can answer with one word or one sentence. You can give me one full sentence, but no more than

that. Okay. The first question is what is the best advice you've ever heard or received? Live life. Second question. What is the best advice you've ever heard or received? Live life. Second question, what is the worst advice you've ever heard or received? Don't live in Columbia. Did someone say that to you? Yeah. That's funny. How many times did you hear that?

A lot. Okay. And they said I was stupid. I was like, literally like, I was going to mess up my career and look what it gave me. Question number three, your funniest memory or the silliest memory you have. You can give more than one sentence. Oh, I have a funny story.

The way I threw you. So I'm at this club. She's laughing, so it's good. It's a good story. I'm at this club, right? This is happening. It's a kind of long story though. Yeah, yeah. Tell us.

Yeah, go for it. So I'm at this club, right? I'm at a VIP party. There's some girls there and stuff like that. And this big, strong guy, ripped like this. He had so many muscles. He looked like a bodybuilder or something like that. He's like, yo, I want to go into the VIP.

And I didn't really want him to come in because I knew he was problems. You know what I'm saying? So I'm like, yo, I don't know. I don't work here. You talk to the bouncers. And he looks at me, he's like, I'm going to destroy you. I'm like, what the fuck you said? He said, I'm going to destroy you." I'm like, what the fuck you said? I said, I'm going to destroy you. I'm like, shit. I'm like, what? And I punched him. Boom. And he goes, this is the

best you have? I'm like, yeah. I'm like, it didn't hurt. So he punched me really hard. Boom. And he punches me really hard and then he takes me against the wall, my neck like that. And he's hitting me and I'm calling my boys and my boys are not looking at me. I had a watch in that moment and a big heavy watch and I take the watch and I hit him in the head with the watch and he still doesn't let go of me. He has blood coming out and then the bouncers pick him up.

The bouncers take him and then when the bouncers take him I go like, it's like, see you don't mess with me and then they let him go and I go, yo take him, get him again. Get him again. They pick him up and then we get into this limo, right? We get to the limo and imagine how old this story is. I'm in a limo. I'm telling a limo. I'm telling my boys like, yo bro, you guys can help me.

This guy f**ked me up. And then out of nowhere, they throw a bottle at the limo. And then the little Mexican dude's like, hey, this guy wants some problem. I say, and I'm like, yo, yo, yo, yo, you don't understand. This guy is not a human being. Do not stop. I hit him with everything. Watches, everything. It's not a human being. Do not stop. I hit him with everything. Watches, everything.

It's not a human being. And he wanted to stop. He wanted to fight with the guy, but I knew the guy was a hulk. So they take me to the hotel. I'm all hurt. I'm in the bed. And then out of nowhere, I hear the door going boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And I hear, that boy out there is three., boom, boom, boom. And I hear, that why are they so weird?

I'm going to destroy you. And I started... I'm trying to... What did I do to you, bro? I'm screaming and all that. Then it was my boys. They were making fun of me. They were making fun of me, man. But the story doesn't end there. Years go by.

Years go by. I'm talking about, I don't know, probably like 10 years, I don't know, 12 years. I'm at Gran Canarias where I had this situation. And guess who I found next to me? This guy comes to me strong, not as strong as that time and he's like, you know who I am. I'm like, nah man, it's like, I'm that guy from that club you had a problem. I'm like, oh yeah, you're the destroying guy. And he's like, oh yeah, yeah. It's like, I'm sorry, I just want to say I'm sorry. The stairway was messing with me and I got messed up. And I just want to say that if you ever need security,

you have me and blah, blah, blah. And then he got messed up and I just want to say that if you never need security, you have me and blah, blah, blah. And then he became my friend. And now he's outside as your security. No, I wish the story was that cool, but no. That's just one of the stories of a hundred stories I could tell you. That's a good story. I have so many stories.

That was a good pick. I liked that. That was a great story. It was worth it. I loved it. Question number four, what chapter title would you give this phase of your life? If it was a chapter in your book, what would this chapter title be called? Insomnia.

Nice. And question number five. It's the question we ask to every guest who's ever been on the show. Final question. If you could create one rule or one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be? Everybody give yourselves a hug. That would be my rule. I like that. Everybody give yourselves a hug. That would just be my rule.

Because I think the world needs a hug. This world is going crazy. And every day is going more crazy. And this shit is making it more crazy. I'm sorry Steve Jobs, we need a hug. And every day is going more crazy. And this shit is making it more crazy. I'm sorry Steve Jobs. We need a hug. I love it.

Nicky Jam everyone. Insomnia is out now. September 6th. Nicky, this was such a joy. I've laughed. I've been reflecting with you. I feel like I've been in your pain with you. I'm so grateful that you just opened up one of the realest people I've ever met.

So raw, so open. I appreciate you so much. So vulnerable. I'm grateful, man. I hope I get to see you again. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I feel like I've been in your pain with you. I'm so grateful that you just open up

one of the realest people I've ever met. So raw, so open. I appreciate you so much. So vulnerable, I'm grateful, man. I hope I get to spend more time with you. You will. Looking forward to it. If you ever go to Miami, hit me up.

I will let you know now. I promise on one drink. Yeah, you can drink, man. You can do whatever you like. I'm joking, man. I'm joking. Thank you so much. I appreciate it.

Thank you, man. All right, my friend. If this is the year that you're trying to get creative, you're trying to build more, I need you to listen to this episode with Rick Rubin on how to break into your most creative self, how to use unconventional methods that lead to success, and the secret to genuinely loving what you do.

If you're trying to find your passion and your lane, Rick Rubin's episode is the one for you.