On Purpose with Jay Shetty - The 6 Ways To Stop Yourself From Falling In Love Too Fast

Episode Date: December 20, 2019

I am absolutely fascinated by exploring the insights of love and relationships. Understanding the depths of a connection is the key to whether two people are right or wrong for each other. All things that matter to our lives, they take time. There's effort, there's mistakes, there's learning, and there's growing - no shortcuts. Making big decisions based on a small amount of information isn't productive. You think you know their heart, but you just know their mind. Text Jay Shetty 310-997-4177 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Therapy for Black Girls podcast is your space to explore mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, and I can't wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday. Listen to the Therapy for Black Girls podcast on the iHort Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Take good care.

I am Yom LaVanzant and I'll be your host for The R Spot. Each week listeners will call me live to discuss their relationship issues. Nothing will tear a relationship down faster than two people with no vision. Does your all are just flopping around like fish out of water? Mommy, daddy, your ex, I'll be talking about those things and so much more. Check out the R-Spaught on the iHeart video app Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. The world of chocolate has been turned upside down.

A very unusual situation. You saw the stacks of cash in our office. Chocolate comes from the cacao tree, and recently, Variety's cacao, thought to have been lost centuries ago, were rediscovered in the Amazon. There is no chocolate on earth like this. Now some chocolate makers are racing, deep into the jungle, to find the next game-changing chocolate,

and I'm coming along. Okay, that was a very large crack it up. Listen to the obsessions, it's wild chocolate. On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Is it that people are not really in love, or is it people think love happens too quickly, and what is love to them? So I start exploring love when I when I hear that because you know it makes me wonder it makes me really question how well we really know people how deeply we really understand them when we say I love you

because we say those words but then we struggle to live up to it. we say those words, but then we struggle to live up to it. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose. I am so, so, so excited for you to listen to this week's episode. You know that I am absolutely fascinated by exploring the insights of love and relationships and understanding the depths of a connection and whether two people are right for each other or wrong for each other and this has been something that's been coming up again and again and again and I you're hoping to prioritize love. I know so many of you have said that to me that Jay, I need to heal from my heartbreak in 2020 or I need to prioritize connecting with the partner or I want to prioritize going deeper with

my partner that I'm currently with. And 2019 was a year where me and my wife, Rady, made a extremely consistent and focused effort to deepen our relationship because our relationship in the last three and a half years has has so many incredible changes. I mean, we moved country, then we moved where we lived in that country. We moved home three times, our careers and pathways have changed for both of us, right? She used to work in a hospital in Watford and I used

to work at a corporate in London. And now both of our lives are totally, totally different. And so navigating our relationship through that has been a phenomenal journey, one that we've reflected on and worked on. And this year was really the year where we wanted to spend a more quality time together, have more deep meaningful exchanges with us and with other friends who had that too. And so I've been really fascinated by how so many of you need that for 2020, and I really want to help you get ready for 2020. And this counts whether you're in a relationship with you, not in a relationship with you, or in a relationship whether you're single whatever situation you're in

This is something that I really really wholeheartedly believe in that I really want to dive into On this episode. So here we go. I've been thinking about this for a long time And I want to be you know, it can be unpopular opinion sometimes, but I really mean it Don't fall in love too fast and of of course, the sixth way is to stop yourself from doing it. Right? Some people will say, and I don't know my opinion, maybe I'm popular, but some people will say, let it be spontaneous, let it be natural. And yeah, that kind of lasts for like one month, three months of your lucky. And love is love, real love is actually always natural and real. That doesn't mean it has to be quick or instant. Notice the difference. Love, real love, is

always natural, it's always real, and it's always organic, but that doesn't mean that it has to be quick or instant. Like, do organic vegetables grow in a day? No. Does natural fruit become ripe in a week? No. Right natural fruit become ripe in a week? No, right? Stuff that is fake is usually instant, right? Stuff that has been preserved, stored, that isn't real is instant, right? It happens immediately.

But the things that really matter to our lives, they take time, there's effort, there's mistakes, there's learning, there's growing. And so this all came from a video I made and it was called Don't Fall in Love Too Fast. And in this video, I wrote this statement that I think is really, really important. And I want to share with you now, don't fall in love too fast.

You think you know their dreams, but you just know their plans. Notice the difference between dreams and plans. Dreams of the heart, plans are of the head. Knowing both is knowing a person. When you meet someone quickly and instantly, you may know their plans, you may know their head, you know, what they're thinking about, but you may not know their dreams, their values, their priorities, the things that matter to them. Now when I say don't fall in love too fast,

this doesn't mean about speed, like this doesn't mean that you can't fall in love with someone in a month. What I'm trying to say is that you can't expect it to happen quickly. And you may like someone deeply after a month, you may really connect with them, but you don't want to just go in and over-expect

or over-predict where something is going. Now listen to this next line, you think you know their heart, but you just know their mind, right? How many times have you been in that situation when you break up with someone and you say, oh, I thought I knew their heart, like I thought I knew them,

but actually I didn't realize that all I really connected with was their mind, right? This is a real challenge that so many of us face and I want to help you not have that challenge in 2020. And it's always like that in hindsight. You look back at the last relationship and you go, oh, I should have known better. Then you do the same mistake again. And then you're like, oh, I should have known better.

And then you do the same mistake again. And you're like, oh, I should have known better. And then you do the same mistake again and you're like, I should have known better, right? We keep saying that to ourselves. We don't hear it from anyone else, but we keep saying it to ourselves. And then I wrote this, you think you know their past, but you just know parts, right? When you meet someone very quickly,

you may know a little bit about their past and you're like, oh, I know them, right? I know them, I understand them. But knowing and understanding someone takes a lot longer. Right, it takes so much longer than we could ever imagine. So yeah, when you meet someone and you connect and you have a great day or whatever it may be, you think you understand them. Like, you think you know them fully, but actually you just know parts of their life. Now, I'm not saying you need to know someone fully before you fall in love. I'm not saying that because I think we're always learning about people who are always learning new things about them. But the

point is that we make very big decisions based on a very small amount of information. Now in any area of your life, in any other area of your life, it's very unlikely that you make a big decision based on a very small amount of information. You would see that as quite scary, but love can blind us, love can be foolish, love, you know, can can make us do all sorts of things. And so we ignore the data we ignore that space now Listen to this carefully because it's it's really really interesting research It says that Service show that men wait just 88 days

Right under just under three months to say I love you and 39% say it within the first month Women take an average of 134 days. Right? Service show that men wait just 88 days, which is just under three months to say I love you. And 39% of men say it within the first month. Women take an average of 100, 84 days.

Now, I don't have stats on this, but I'm based on this off of intuition experience and speaking to so many people, how many of those men and women, but how many of those men who say it within the first month end up breaking up with that person and up, potentially cheating on someone or whatever it may be,

and even the women that say after 134 days, like how many of these people actually live up to that statement that they've said, that's the interesting question there. Because if you're saying it so early, that would mean that there wouldn't be as many breakups. But I mean, I hear more break-ups songs, I hear more about break-ups, people, I just watch married story on Netflix because a friend was visiting and really wanted to watch it. And I was watching a real-life divorce. That's what it's about. It really gives you a to watch it and I was watching a real life divorce. That's what it's about.

It really gives you a real life feel of the legalities and the contracts, where I'm marriage and how tough it is to get a divorce and with the child involved. And you look at all of that and you think, well, is it that people are not really in love or is it people think love happens too quickly and what is love to them? So I start exploring love when I hear that because you know, it makes me wonder. It makes me really question how you know, how well we really know people, how deeply we really understand them when we say I love you because we say those words but then we struggle to live up to it. And the problem that exists is that

when we don't live up to the love we say we love someone, they don't question you, they question love, right? Like you, you, you, you almost let love down, right? You let love down. That's, that's really what ends up happening is that we end up giving love a bad name because we really don't live up to the love that we promise. We don't live up to the love that we promise. We don't live up to the level of love that we say we have and therefore love gets a bad name. Therefore people say things like, I don't believe in love anymore

or I don't deserve love anymore. Or maybe love isn't right for me. You know, but people don't doubt you, they doubt love. So notice that, if you've ever said, I love you to someone, recognize what weight it comes with. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on I Heart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University and I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe

in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions, so we can better understand our lives and our realities, like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or, can we create new senses for humans? Does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident?

Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Intercosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your reality. Listen to Intercosmos with David Eagleman, on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Eva Longoria. I'm Maite Gomes-Rachon. We're so excited to introduce you to our new podcast,

Hungry for History! On every episode, we're exploring some of our favorite dishes, ingredients, beverages, from our Mexican culture. We'll share personal memories and family stories, decode culinary customs, and even provide a recipe for you to try at home. Corner flower. Both.

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Join us as we explore surprising and lesser known corners of Latinx culinary history and traditions. I mean, these are these legends, right? Apparently, this guy Juan Mendes, he was making these tacos wrapped in these huge tortillas to keep it warm, and he was transporting them in a burro hence the name the burritos. Listen to Hungary for History with Ivalangoria

and Mate Gomez Rejón as part of the Michael Pura podcast network available on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Not too long ago, in the heart of the Amazon Rainforest, this explorer stumbled upon something that would change his life. I saw it and I saw, oh wow, this is a very unusual situation. It was cacao, the tree that gives us chocolate. But this cacao was unlike anything experts had seen,

or tasted. I've never wanted us to have a gun fight. I mean, you saw this tax of cash in our office. Chocolate sort of forms this vortex. It sucks you in. It's like I can be the queen of wild chocolate. You're all lost, you're this madness. It was a game changer.

People quit their jobs. They left their lives behind, so they could search for more of this stuff. I wanted to tell their stories, so I followed them deep into the jungle, and it wasn't always pretty. Basically, this like disgruntled guy and his family surrounded the building arm with machetes. And we've heard all sorts of things that, you know, somebody got shot over this. Sometimes, I think, all these for a damn bar of chocolate. Listen to obsessions while chocolate on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever

you get your podcast. That's the point I'm trying to get through here that realized that the word love has a lot of weight to it. And it's not worth wasting that word or losing that word or using that word without depth. Just as you would not use the word like you're fired, right? You would never say to someone as a joke or if you're kind of playing around with it, like you're fired because you see that as a permanent thing. If someone gets fired, it means it's a permanent decision, right?

So love has that kind of weight. I really feel it does. And even if we say, oh, no, but we say I love all the time. I think people when they hear it from someone that they're attracted to and into and share something with you, you want love to be like that. You wouldn't just joke around with someone, oh, you're fired today. Oh, you know, you're fired and then you share something with you, you want love to be like that. You wouldn't just joke around to someone, oh, you're fired today, oh, you're fired and then you're back with them again.

So similarly, love has that kind of weight and words like, just, yeah, words like fire, the words like divorce, words like, words like, you've got the job, that's another one. Like, you wouldn't just say to someone, oh, you've got the job. And then a few weeks later, I'd say, oh, no, you didn't really got the job. That's another one like you wouldn't just say to someone Oh, you've got the job and then a few weeks later turn and say oh, no, you didn't really get the job I was just I just had a feeling that day right if you said someone you've got the job you you sign a contract You give them a job now. I'm not saying love is a contract. I'm not saying that

Love has to be seen as a business transaction But I'm saying is that the word has weight right the word has weight So what I want to focus on now are six steps that really for you can help you understand whether you are ready for love and make sure that you know if the other person is ready for love. Because this is one of the biggest mistakes we make. One of the biggest mistakes we make is that we think that saying we love someone means we're ready for love and hearing someone say I love you means they're ready for love.

We don't unpack that. Right, we don't really break that down. We don't say, and I'm not suggesting you say this, but I'm gonna give you the thought process of how to do this. When someone says I love you, you just believe them. You don't think about like, well, what does that mean to you? Or what does that mean you want to do for me? Or what does that mean about us? Like what does that mean about our relationship together? We just assume that they mean the same thing we mean.

Right? When someone says I love you to you, you assume that they mean the same thing you mean when you say I love you. But actually, those two can be very different things. And I really feel that sometimes relationships and all types of relationships are speaking different languages. And it's so important to break down words and meaning because everyone's parenting, everyone's background, everyone's education has built up certain definitions around words. Everyone's education has built up certain definitions around words. So every word based on your background, your parenting, your education has a meaning to you, right?

Has a meaning to you, but that meaning may be different to someone else growing up in another area. For example, right? Like the okay sign, right? What is the okay sign? Everyone know what the okay sign is? The okay sign is when you know, you put your thumb and your index finger together. It's like, okay, like, you know, the okay gesture, right? The okay or ring gesture, as it says on Wikipedia, is performed by connecting the thumb and the index

finger into a circle and holding the other finger straight or relaxed away from the palm, commonly used by divers. It signifies I am okay or are you okay when underwater, right? So that's where it kind of comes from. But now, if you think about it, and listen to this carefully, and I'm reading this from a half-post entry, just to make the point here that, and it's an article called gestures to avoid in cross-cultural business. In Brazil, Germany, Russia, and many other countries around the world,

the OK sign is a very offensive gesture because it is used to depict a private bodily orifice, right? The OK sign actually does mean OK in the United States, however, in Japan, it means money, and it's most commonly used to signify zero in France, right? So notice how the same okay gesture, right? The same thing that so many of us have grown up

meaning a certain things, means totally different things in different countries. And you think about words that mean different things in different languages, right? So even with that it's huge. So for example, now I'm looking at an article from readers, J.J. and we talk about the different meaning of words. Now I'll pick a funny word like fart. That's on the list here. European languages love the word fart, but not the same exact way as English speakers. In Norwegian, Danish and Swedish, fart is the word for speed or moving objects. If you see eye fart in Denmark, it means the elevator

is in use. And fart plan means schedule. And road signs say fart control, right? Notice how a word is so different. Now, I'm giving you these funny, silly interesting examples to make this simple point that when you say the word love, what it means to you could mean something very different to other people. And if you've not taken the time to understand what it means to you and what it means to them, then you're not sure what direction you're going in. So the first thing you have to focus on is,

how do you define love? What does it mean to you and what do you want it to feel like? Right? How do you define love? Right? What does that word mean to you? And are you happy with the definition you've created or have you taken that definition from a movie, media or music, right? Like even your beliefs and values around love, where are they coming from? Are they actually yours? And more importantly, this is a great way to think about it. What do you want love to feel like? This is a big question, I don't know, it's because I love to me means care and love to me means support, but it's like, what do you want love to feel like? Do you expect to be excited all the time? Do you expect a

butterfly's all the time? Well, if that's your answer, then where does that come from? Is that from a movie you saw? Is that from your favorite character growing up, or is that something you want to feel? Or really, what do you want to feel is compatibility and camaraderie and a partnership? Like, is that what you're looking for? Really think about what does love mean to you

and what do you want it to feel like when you are in love? Because this is going to help you understand whether you are in love or not. Like how do you want to feel? So for me, what love meant to me was a commitment between two people who always let them be themselves. And what love felt to me like, or what I wanted it to feel like, was that I could totally be myself, and I didn't feel any pressure or judgment from my partner, right?

That was a big part of it. That's not everything I feel about love, but that was a big part of it. I wanted someone that I could be my full self around, my whole self around, and be accepted for that. And that that person loved that side of me, that part of me, that whole of me, right? Like that was a big, big thing for me.

Now the second thing you have to ask yourself is, what are your love values? For example, are you looking for reliability? Are you looking for adventure? Are you looking for comfort? Are you looking for success? Are you looking for comfort? Are you looking for success? Like knowing what you value in a relationship and what you value in love is such an important thing to think about and such an important thing to reflect on because then you'll be able to very clearly see whether someone has similar values or different values. If you don't really know your own values,

how can you judge whether someone else's values are right for you? And we see this very, very often that not all people have the same values, but because we don't know our own, we can't tell whether someone does or doesn't have the same values as us. So the second thing you really wanna focus on

is what are your love values? So for some people, reliability and stability is their big love value. Is someone going to be around, are they going to help me create a life that is consistent? For some people it's adventure. Like love to them means exploration, adventure, trying out new things. For third people it's comfortable and then it could be something like success and achievement. Now, you may say, well, it's a bit of all of them, Jay. Well, I would put them in a priority order. I would want you to be aware of what is most important to you in that relationship, right, in that area. And remember what I said earlier that it's

making sure that you describe things the same way, just because you use the same words in the same language doesn't mean you have the same values, right? Just because you use the same words doesn't mean you have the same values. Write that down, repeat that. That is really, really important. That's a moment that I've just had while I'm speaking to all of you. Just because you use the same words doesn't mean you have the same values. And it's important for you to dig into the values. And you only know someone's values when you really ask them to express them, when you ask people to explain them, when you ask people to help you understand how they form that value.

Like if someone says to you, I really value loyalty. And you ask them, why do you value loyalty? And they'll say, well, you know, I was, you know, someone treated me really badly when I was growing up and someone betrayed my trust. And that day I realized how painful it was. And now loyalty is important to me. That is a deep value. Whereas if you say to someone, oh, yeah, why do you value loyalty? And they're just like, oh, yeah, you know, I think it's a, it's a Kendrick Lamasson. No, they give you a superficial answer, and then just go, oh, okay,

they're just saying the right things instead of meaning the right things, right? They don't really feel that. The third thing you wanna ask yourself is, where are you at in life? What's your current focus, right? Don't get distracted. People get clinging and lose sight all the time.

Like, is that person helping you get closer to what you want? Or is that person making you closer to them and further away from the life that you wanted? It's really important to think about that. Where are you at in life and what's your current focus? And what are you trying to build and grow? Because you want someone who's enhancing that. You want someone who's adding to that. You want someone who's enhancing that, you want someone who's adding to that, you want someone who's supporting that, right?

That's where you want. You want a world in which you can totally take things to the next level together, not that now you feel behind, right? It's a really, really important thing to think about. So those are three things that I would really sit back and reflect and ask yourself and really consciously reflect on because you want to make sure that you're ready, right?

And when we're not aware of this, this is when we fall in love too fast because we go, oh well, this feels good right now and we're not thinking about whether this feels good in a moment, right? And then we say like, well, you know, I didn't know what love was going to be anyway. So this kind of feels better than anything I've had before is that, you know, is that't know what love was going to be anyway. So this kind of feels better than anything I've had before

is that the value of love you want. And if I ask you what are your values of love? And you're like, Jay, it's too much to think about. It's too theoretical. Like, well, no, this can actually save you from so many challenges. This can actually protect you. And you know, like there is something

about putting yourself out there and going out there, but you can save yourself a lot of pressure, strain, and issues if you think about these things in advance. The therapy for Black Girls podcast is the destination for all things mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. Here we have the conversations that help black women dig a little

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Namaste. Our 20s are saying is this golden decade. Our time to be carefree, full in love, make mistakes, and decide what we want from our life. But what can psychology really teach us about this decade? I'm Gemma Speg, the host of the Psychology of Your 20s. Each week, we take a deep dive into a unique aspect of our 20s, from career anxiety, mental health, heartbreak, money, friendships, and much more,

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These are the three things you have to do to prepare yourself. Right? Knowing how do you define love, what your values are around love, and what your current personal focus is to that person can enhance and help you grow. Now you've got to be conscious of the other person. Usually we only focus on the other person or we only focus on ourselves. So usually we go, well, this is what I want in someone or we focus on like, well, this is who I am. But really, it's about the juxtaposition, the convergence of those two. So this is how I think about it in relationships because some people write out their long, laundry list of everything they want in someone, like they'll say, good looking, sense of humor, charismatic,

loves my friends, my parents love him, or her, or whatever it right, like we have this long list. And sometimes you're looking at your list and you're going, well, well, who's ever going to live up to this list? And some people say they had that list, they visualize that they found that person. But if I'm completely honest,

no one's perfect. Everyone has flaws, everyone has challenges. And so you're going to have to figure out what you really, really want. So the fourth thing that you have to think about is three priorities you want in someone. So these are like non-negotiables, right? These are the three things that you want in someone that you won't negotiate on because they're so, so, so crucial and critical to who you are. So if you've answered the first three questions properly, this becomes a lot easier to answer. So what are the three priorities you want in someone? So for me, one of the big things I wanted is someone who is spiritually grounded, right? Someone who's

spiritually grounded had spiritual qualities, had that natural sense of positivity, abundance, It's a very, very important thing to me because I knew that that was a big part of my life. I'd been a monk and that was a very significant part of my life and that I couldn't just ignore that. And it would be hard for someone else to live with if they weren't waking up and meditating. And they weren't wanting to take spiritual retreats and meditation retreats. So it's really important to think about that. One of the three priorities that I've been doing is that I was a very, very important person for someone else to live with, they want waking up and meditating and they want wanting to take spiritual retreats and meditation retreats. So it's really important to think about that. One of the three priorities that are non-negotiable for you that are just such important bedrocks,

because now I'm not saying that you wouldn't meet anyone if they didn't have that because they might be amazing in other areas, but it's important for you to know that what your priorities are and what's like, this is just too important for you to know that, what your priorities are, and what's like, ah, this is just too important for me. Like, it could be, and I'm just giving this as an example, it could be like, I really wanna live in LA,

and that person wants to live in Tokyo, right? And it's like, well, no, but living in LA is really important to me. How much am I willing to compromise on that? So there are gonna be things that are priorities, this is point number four, three priorities you want in someone. And point number five is three preferences, but that are changeable. So you want a list of three priorities that you want in someone

that should correlate with the answers to your first three questions. It should be based on values, should be based on definition, and where you're at in life and who you think is going to enhance you. But then you have three preferences that are changeable. These are things where it could be the country thing. And you're like, well, actually, I don't mind where we live. Or, you know, I'm, for example, kids could be a priority or a preference. You may say, actually, kids are a priority for me. I need to be with someone who wants to have kids.

Or you may say kids are a preference. Actually, if they want to have kids, we'll do it. If they don't, I'm flexible on it. These things are changeable. So you want three priorities, and you want three preferences. It's really important that you have this discussion with yourself, and when you meet someone, you can have this discussion with them.

And it doesn't mean like, oh, if someone says they're not gonna do one of your priorities, not like, oh my God, they're out of the picture, it's just giving you more information to think about to make a conscious, intentional decision. Right, when we make unintentional decisions, someone was saying this to me yesterday, I was at a dinner with a friend and they played golf and they were saying to me, you know, every time they hit an unintentional, unconscious

shot, it never goes in the right direction. No matter how free flow you are, how happy you are, whatever zone you're in, if you hit an unconscious, unintentional shot, it's not going to be a whole new one, and it probably won't even be close to where you want it to go. But if you're someone, right, if you're someone who is able to be intentional and conscious and effective, you're going to get closer to where you want to be. Right? You're going to get closer where you're going to be. So that's what we're doing here. We're not ruling out the answer of chance.

We're not ruling out the answer of luck or organic connection. We're not ruling out spontaneity. We're just being intentional so that we save ourselves from wasting time and protect ourselves from places that may not be people and places that may not be, people in places that may not be right for us and you can tell from a mile off, right? Like sometimes your friends can see it

and you can't see it. Now, once you have your three priorities and your three preferences, you want three points you need to have for them. The question you have to ask is are they aware of what they need? What is it about you on a personality, on a deep level that you actually impact in them? Three points that you need to have for them and you can be aware of this. It's okay.

Well, I can see that they're going to need someone who has some organized, they're going to need someone who motivates them, they need someone who's around for them. Do I want to be that? Am I ready to be that? Am I ready to commit to that? That is a question you really have to ask and reflect on for yourself. Because sometimes people haven't done that reflection themselves, you have to do that reflection for yourself. Otherwise, you get into an unconscious relationship, right?

So this is the six ways to stop yourself from falling in love too fast, not because I'm against falling in love, but because there are 39% of men saying they love someone within the first month and women saying it on an average of 134 days. And then I feel a lot of people lose faith in love. I thought I had to do this to defend love.

I had to do this because I believe in love. I had to do this because I want you to find love in 2020. And I really, really hope this has helped. You focus and refocus and find your path. Thank you so much for listening you to find love in 2020. And I really, really hope this has helped you focus and refocus and find your path. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I cannot wait for the new year. I hope these episodes are helping you get your mind ready.

That's what we're doing is preparing your minds, getting you ready for 2020. And I can't wait for you to hear next week's episode. Thank you so much for listening. Actually, make sure that you've subscribed to the podcast as well. I don't want you to miss a single episode in the new year because we have so many exciting podcasts coming your way, so many exciting things coming your way. Thank you so much for listening.

I'll see you soon. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on I Heart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Intercosmos with David Eagleman on the IHAR radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The one you feed explores how to build a fulfilling life admits the challenges we face.

We share manageable steps to living with more joy and less fear through guidance on emotional resilience, transformational habits, and personal growth. I'm your host, Eric Zimmer, and I speak with experts ranging from psychologists to spiritual teachers, offering powerful lessons to apply daily. Create the life you want now. Listen to The One You Feed on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Eva Longoria.

And I'm Mike DeGolmester-Jone. We're so excited to introduce you to our new podcast, Hungry for History. On every episode, we're exploring some of our favorite dishes, ingredients, beverages from our Mexican culture. We'll share personal memories and family stories, decode culinary customs, and even provide a recipe or two for you to try at home. Listen to Hungry for History on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. you