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PKA 708.
Pre-show was banging.
Had to press the start button.
No guests tonight, Taylor?
This episode of PKA is brought to you by Blue Chew,
PainkillerReady.com, the merch,
and of course, Lock and Load.
Still, Lock and Load's selling too much.
They're having trouble keeping it in stock.
Are they again?
They need to be on their ass making more,
getting the production lines cooking.
Henry Ford style.
That's what we need.
Too many guys out there aren't coming enough. Butd style that's what we need too many guys
out there aren't coming enough but anyway that's the shows brought to you by tonight just the three
of us hanging out hanging out kyle how are you you look i'm well you look like you're musing yeah
you've recovered from your actual cancer yeah yeah i recovered from my actual cancer i'm gonna say i
took my cancer like a man i didn't complain one bit i mean i complain to y'all or whatever on the show for entertainment value
nobody in my family had to deal with my cancer diagnosis and i i don't even feel like i milked
it for for like attention or viewership or anything i was just like yeah i have an eye
patch i have an eye patch this week so just please don't make fun too much. I think I had it done on a Friday.
Maybe I missed Tuesday because I look like a monster.
I was too vain, I think.
I might have missed a PKN.
They made these little delicate cuts to remove the cancer,
but it looked like I'd been beaten.
There was so much bruising and stuff.
I don't understand how
that works i wish i had a physician to be like oh you're cutting these blood vessels and so that
those are all dying on this end and having to be replenished or something that's not bruising that's
this but it looked like i'd been punched in the head like a ufc fighter and cut and then
bruising like your surgery your blood and they do a shitty job like i've had that happen where you get like go in for a blood test and the
person sucks at it and you end up getting a bruise at that location.
Cause basically you're just bleeding subcutaneously cause they fuck it up.
If I understand Kyle surgery was,
they took a wedge out of his eyelid and then sewed it back together.
Yeah.
And then they cut out here so that they would have enough eyelid to stretch
over cause we lost some.
Okay.
That was a big football out of the bridge of my nose and uh you know they the place was cool they they do this
like particular surgery as their specialty so they removed some they tested it in like two doors over
not outside but like in the same building like 15 feet away they tested it and then they took a little more and then that came
back clean and they sewed me up and they're uh like plastic surgeons that like specialize in
the bridge of the nose they were the guys you want for this but i still like i'm like you know
i make a living on camera and they're really mean we've cultivated a huge group of bullies over the years would it be us no no no no no i certainly don't be at bullies every week
guys having a good that's what we're doing right now we're bullying right now um i know there's
someone out there with melanoma who's like screaming stolen valor at their computer or
their car radio right now i came back with with the Cancer Survivor t-shirt.
That's great.
That is like the stubbed toe of cancer.
I got to say.
Me and that guy with pancreatic,
fighting for his life.
We're both warriors.
It was one of the most.
He wasn't strong enough to defeat his cancer.
It was one of the most uncomfortable things wasn't strong enough to defeat his cancer. It was one of the most uncomfortable things
I've ever dealt with in my life.
I've always been weird about my eyes.
I don't like... If I get a hair in there,
my mom would be like, yeah, let me just roll your eyelid
backwards with this Q-tip and I'll get it out
with a wet little piece of toilet paper.
And it's like, no.
My dad would do that. He'd get stuff
in his eyes and he'd be
all in there he got a a piece of metal embedded into his eyeball uh it was actually a piece of
the wire from a wire grinder i've done and it had gone into his eyelid or into his excuse me eyeball
and every time he blinked it was cutting the inside of his eyelid and they had to drill a
hole in his eyeball eventually to get that thing out with an itty bitty eyeball drill.
I shit you not.
So my thing was just awful.
Them cutting on my eyelid, injecting needles of painkiller into my eyelid, which didn't seem to do anything.
And then I can still remember like squeezing my toes in my shoe because you don't want to flinch.
But it's cutting on my eyelid and it's rolled all backwards and it's in this weird apparatus to keep it all open.
It was fucked.
Did they have a TV?
What?
Did they have a TV like the dentist?
Fuck no, they didn't have a TV like the dentist.
No.
They just had four concerned nurses
looking down with those blue hats on.
When I had a metal shrapnel, I'll call it in my eyeball so when I do woodworking
I'm really diligent about wearing eye protection but I just had a quick hold a drill using a drill
press and it moves so much more slowly than a saw I underestimated the danger and um anyway i drill it i'm like ah kind of bit me now i have this personality quirk
and that i i every time i was sick as a child i was accused of faking like a lot they never
believed me they they always thought i was faking faking faking and in fairness i never faked i just
kind of like pumped it up a little. Yeah, a bit of a
Meryl Streep.
I don't feel well. Maybe I could get out
of school.
But it stuck with me
as an adult. And I'm like, I swear
am I faking?
No. So I go to the eye doctor
and he's like, yeah, there's a metal
shrapnel in here. I'm like, are you sure?
And he said woody
it's rusting i was like all right uh yeah just please get that out so you guys honest to the
bone about your your cancers you handle it like warriors i know you both wear the rubber bands
and i want to know because i'm not i'm not i'm not I've got a cancer people think it's a bracelet
for me it's a cock ring yeah yeah constantly falling off you know I'm only looking at
don't give away my secrets you got a whole drawer of those things folks don't only because I
stretched it out only because I stretched it hard. So you guys, you would never, ever lie about your cancer.
Never say never.
Never say never.
Like, what if you had AIDS from a blood transfusion,
but you knew our audience wasn't going to believe that shit?
So you're...
You know what I mean?
Dude, that would be brutal.
Because there's no way they'd buy it.
Like, man, I'm getting all...
Do you think if one of us got AIDS from a blood transfusion, our audience would be sympathetic? brutal because there's no way they'd buy it they know like man i'm getting all but i think my
blood drawn like every six weeks fusion our audience would be sympathetic no no
they'd be like man oh i mean this is for the past the show had to end eventually
like just yeah they wouldn't be chill about it at all so like maybe then you say you have cancer
but i don't think you're stealing any valor you're just like making up for some some misinformation that might be out there
um i think magic johnson got his from straight sex somehow and then i can't remember who i was
reading about the other day it was this famous person in art or media or something and and it
was a blood transfusion i was just thinking like god that would be so fuck it does happen like there's a percentage of of occurrence like regularly yeah yeah they they allowed like like it's kind of a
touchy subject but i think they only recently allowed homosexual men to give blood right
yeah i didn't know they had recently allowed it yeah i i believe so it was my understanding i
think that was like three or four years ago. Time flies when you're having fun.
I've given blood more recently than that.
So I can tell you like...
They let you in, huh?
Yeah.
A year ago, they kicked you right out the door if you fucked a guy lately.
Yeah.
I know.
They rejected my blood last time because I had those syphilis antibodies.
See, it was the sex with men.
I checked the box.
It's just a butch girl.
Leave it alone.
But it's no, I had syphilis antibodies, I guess.
And I did some research and talked to my doctor.
And apparently you like keep them for a long time after you've had syphilis.
That's been a while ago.
Yeah, because that's that's terrible.
So you'd still pop. Does that mean you would test positive for syphilis. That's been a while ago. Yeah, because that's terrible. So you'd still pop.
Does that mean you would test positive for syphilis?
If you have antibodies?
They do, right?
I think, no.
No, because I test regularly.
Well, I mean, not any time after I got all that fucking penicillin in my ass.
That was really cool.
They let me inject myself.
I thought that was awesome.
She came with that big shot, and I was like, like oh that's a big needle can i do this i don't like
i didn't trust her to do it like i know we're on this is my last day you do whatever you want
that's basically what she fucking said she was like where would you do it if i let you and i
was like right here on the top of my glute i wouldn't attack you with it that's what you
think well she was making sure i was like had some semblance of an idea of what the fuck I was doing.
And I've been stabbing that muscle in my ass every other day for months at this point.
So it was just like, I know what I'm doing.
I know my ass better than she does.
She just knows asses.
I know it better.
We should get back to Boogie.
Yes.
We haven't even mentioned him yet.
Yes, no mercy for Boogie.
Boogie the liar.
It's strongly thought that he's been a big old fibber about his cancer situation.
He's always a big fibber.
One of the biggest fibbers I've ever seen.
In terms of volume or mass or power.
I remember when we found out that Boogie had cancer and Dick Masterson
had like a celebration show.
I do remember that.
It was like a Halloween episode
of The Simpsons. He like brought out all the
stops. He laughed hysterically
like he'd heard the
funniest thing in his life. He was celebrating.
He was cheering. I think they were playing sound
effects. So he must be down in the
dumps now to find out that Boogie's, in fact, not dying.
So Boogie went on TRT.
And TRT increases your red blood cell count.
Nope.
Cancer can also increase your red blood cell count.
So Boogie, knowing it was one of these two things, told everybody that it was cancer
and started using it to like fundraise
and get money and pay for his doctor's bills did he do that did he well yeah he used it um to
promote his crypto coin or something i watched a coffee zilla video about it
and um and then he rug pulled the crypto coin as which i barely understand. So he needed to give like $5,000 back.
And they knew that he had $5,000 in the bank.
And he's like, no, no, you don't understand.
The $5,000 from crypto I've spent on medical bills.
It's at Mercy Hospital.
The $5,000 in the bank, I scrimped and saved for that.
It has nothing to do with the $5,000 I got from crypto.
Those are wildly different things as if cash is not fun.
This is like that Iranian oil fund that we keep cutting off and turning off.
He said that he needed this money to pay his bills and such.
And then they pulled Keemstar in.
And Keemstar is like, he makes enough money to pay his mortgage.
I don't know what he's talking about.
But he was crying poverty and medical bills and such to raise cash i swear like at some point does crypto not become a scam because everybody knows
it's a scam if i made a lose your money coin could investors really be like i had no idea what i was
getting into i have no idea i feel like there's not a lot of forgiveness for people who put their whole life savings in the Boogie 2988.
It was the fatty coin, right?
Like the
Boogie 2988 fatty coin?
Did you really think this was... Are you getting in on the
ground floor? I don't think there's anything
fraudulent about those coins.
I think that it's almost like
it's like a raffle or
a cakewalk or something, except
the guy who owns the coin knows when the fucking music
stops you know what I mean it's like
that and it's like you're jumping in
on a game that's fixed against you like
maybe you time yourself well and like
you know on the ride you're
selling and buying and like
but if you don't know the day when
the guy who has 50% of the fucking
coin is going to
dump then you're just you're just playing along with this when the guy who has 50% of the fucking coin is going to dump,
then you're just playing along with this.
Scam's a hard word. I want to make a PKA lose your money coin
and then get interviewed by CoffeeZilla
and try to defend like this was not a scam.
We told them what was going to happen.
This is a donation.
Everyone knew.
Everyone.
There's a disclaimer.
You will not make money on the PGA scam.
Go ahead and buy a coin, you fucking rube.
The website asked them four times, are you sure?
Do you know how many captures they had to get through to actually buy the scam of the coin?
And they were true captures.
Those bikes were overlapping into a lot of squares.
They identified which were bikes, which were boats, and how to spell words.
Yeah.
He fibbed, seemingly.
And Zach posted the most recent update.
I'm going to read it here.
To the best of my knowledge, based on everything I know, I think
this is actually from Keemstar.
Keemstar and Boogie and Wings do that show
together, and so Keem is pretty plugged in
with Boogie's life. To the best of my knowledge,
based on everything I know, Boogie went on
steroids that could have caused
cancer in the blood years ago and
was warned of the dangers. Two years ago,
after he'd lost all his money in crypto, he went
to the doctor and had high red blood cells indicating he may have cancer in his blood.
Before he got any confirmation, he rushed to make a YouTube video announcing he had cancer.
Two years later, he still doesn't have confirmation he has cancer, but he's been
telling everyone he does and used it for sympathy many times. Whether it was promoting his crypto
scam or asking people to financially support him lying about the cancer could be considered fraud.
He is scheduled to get a confirmation test to see if he 100 has cancer soon so ironically even though he lied he may still have cancer and he was also that's the end
of the quote i believe from from keem and he also a number of people offered money to him
to show his positive cancer tests and it added up to like 70 80 000
dude he's like randy marsh he's in the backyard getting sun with a microwave open next to himself
getting a daily fucking x-ray flash at the dentist he's like please lord yeah strike me down
he's just buying red 40 dye off the dark web, bustling it, trying to kickstart cancer.
He's smoking a pack an hour.
Oh, my God.
So he's someone who's always, you know,
he's an online content guy,
so he's going to try and make money
in whatever content way he can.
And to turn down 70K,
just like if he had cancer,
why not take a free $70,000?
And apparently, according to Zach, he said that's his last shred of privacy,
which is very clearly a lie.
$70,000 to show that you have cancer?
Does that offer extend to anyone?
If he has cancer?
I want to go back to what Keem said, though,
because he said there at the end that maybe I misunderstood.
It seemed like there was
now maybe a new sign that there could be real cancer and i like that he threw in there like
ironically after lying for two years about having cancer he may now actually have cancer
is that not proof that there is a god like it's lining up no the fact that he i've been proven
really wrong about god all week i've've been checking him in on WhatsApp.
Just swish after swish, dude.
He goes silent.
Was that when I said Jackie's standing in front of me
with her purse on saying I'm ready to go?
Is that what I was saying?
Oh yeah, he's making up excuses and stuff.
He said he had to go to the cancer doctor at one point.
Whatever you can do to get out of that God conversation.
Checkmate.
Boogie, like if Boogie had a positive i went terrence howard on it yeah we need terrence howard to tell us
that cancer is not even a real thing and it's caused by bad math or whatever that's bad vibes
right there so you vibrating at the wrong frequency you vibrating at the frequency now
see the constellation of cancer your humors are out of touch.
Your dark bile and your yellow bile is at odds.
That Terrence Howard stuff
has completely captivated me.
I've been showing it to Jackie. Terrence
Howard,
he seems to be really
into physics and math,
right? But the thing is, it's
really fun to know things and it really
sucks to learn things like learning is hard going to school doing math equations rock and stuff like
that is just exhausting and brutal but watching fucking somebody else's cosmos youtube video is
fun right so that's the level that terence howard understands these things and he starts throwing
together terms from left and right in an effort to defend this point say it again they did a second
show with joe and they brought a real scientist on to sit next to him i watched it oh i hope that
the scientist just enabled and was like that's yes he did he did he like so terence howard
repeat like one thing that made sense and a whole bunch of bullshit in there.
He was trying to prove that math was fundamentally wrong.
And along the way, for example, one of the pieces that I did understand is he's like, you know, that's the problem with the Dewey Decimal System.
The Dewey Decimal System says that a couple of times.
What he's trying to say is that decimals are somehow incorrect and don't work,
but he's referring to the catalog system that libraries use to divide fantasy from biology.
Tell me you're old without telling me you're old. I know how to use the Dewey Decimal System.
I remember I was like the last age to learn it. And even in that time, I'm like, what are we doing?
Like the internet's clearly here to stay.
In my day, the card catalog was how you found everything.
And you didn't have to memorize the Dewey Disciple system.
It was posted everywhere, but you did use it.
And just like along the way, every so often I'll like understand what he's at.
Oh, he would say he'd take the periodic table of elements
and then i forget what he was using exactly maybe the weight or or something the atomic weight
there's the atomic weight and then he would like square it and then he would put a note
a note that he calls the key right so he's like this is in the key of e he doesn't mean the key
he means like the frequency that e happens and he he's presenting
it as if he's discovered something amazing i can take the atomic weight of carbon and express it
and it's an e and then i take the atomic weight of oxygen and i express it and it's a g but boron
and carbon have the same key which he means note and uh i'm like this is fucking bullshit you can take
anything use its number and express it as a note like it has a hertz i can go to the grocery store
and grab prices off the shelf and be like 333 333 megawatts is some key i don't know what the
fuck it is you know this is you can take the price of chicken eggs whatever the the thought that you take the weight of an atom and turn it into a
note and like you've done something i go through the dewey decimal system and tell you what key
fantasy is versus you know science fiction that's the same thing yeah there are um there are other
scientists who have sort of taken him down or really just replied to him politely if anything um and spent an hour hour and a half at a time refuting his ranting and raving and nonsense
and it's like you said woody it's it's the problem is he's and i see i i think that you see this a
lot with actual crazy people if you look at those scribblings they'll have in their notebooks it's like what this looks like something yeah there's a lot of math you know emblems in here maybe yeah there's
something this looks very official and also insane at the same time and that's that's kind of how
terrence howard strikes me um i thought i wish he'd just be a goddamn actor he's pretty fucking
good at that i wish he'd stop being a crazy he's got like all the crazy of ted kaczynski and none of the math background
like i wonder is he still crazy like a fox is he still acting well uh i haven't seen him do
anything in a very long time of course like i i think he did like one of those black tv shows
that's super popular but i it's not my jam um i think maybe he was on that Juicy Sommelier show with him,
something like that.
That sounds right.
Perhaps.
But I remember from back in the day when he was in Hustle & Flow
where he's like a pimp, but he's a rapping pimp
who's trying to get out of the pimp game and into the rap game,
and it's really good.
It's really good, and he's good at it.
I can speak to that.
My vibe is he's currently a crazy person who needs meds or something, and he doesn't's really good and he's good at it that my vibe is he's currently
a crazy person who needs meds or something like he and he doesn't seem to know that he's crazy
and needs to be on meds and and i'm not sure you could hire him today and get a good performance
out of him i think the crazy helps with the performances somehow because like gary bucey
was arguably demented his entire career yeah now yeah now it wasn't even a motorcycle yeah he was
crazy well that's so yeah he had a motorcycle accident without a helmet i i was told once that
he just fell fell over like he dropped the bike and went with it and that's all it was but who
knows no he died like country man there's probably his face get all his brain got opened up he got permanent real brain damage and they let him keep acting
and he was always like kind of a real high intensity kind of almost goofy a little bit
like on the somewhere between like rageful and goofy is where he'd be he'd be like and then he
had that brain injury and he's it was clear that there was a retarded man acting
in a movie now and it was weird it was fucking weird um what's that movie where he dresses up
like a woman with a with a lipstick and everything he was he was pretty good in a lethal weapon
i think it's two i think it's two i think it was Mr. Joshua. That motorcycle accident was the real deal.
His face became visibly asymmetrical
from it.
Yeah, but they let him keep acting.
He did this one movie where he's like
a man with a dog inside his body.
So he's like barking and running around.
You gotta let him keep acting
after an accident like that.
What's he gonna go do? Work at a bank?
That's a good point. He's gotta keep acting. he's gotta play pretend for a living but anyway uh boogie i just
want to apologize to you guys as survivors that you have to look at people like that who will
take your trauma your pain and try to monetize it you're welcome for my service by the way if
anyone wants to give to the Woody Cancer Fund
that he's beaten two years ago,
just send it to PayPal, Woody'sGamerTech.com.
No, no, Woody'sGamerTech at Giva.com.
That's my PayPal.
You can send it to Boogie Care of Woody.
That's what Trump did with Herschel Walker.
Woody can just get a brand new fan for his back.
Perfect.
Yeah, so Boogie, he deleted his Twitter.
Everybody's going in on him.
He deleted his Twitter?
It's a bigger controversy than you might imagine somehow.
He was trending on Twitter, like in the trending section,
like next to politicians' names.
People really hate it when you fake cancer.
Yeah, if you deactivate your account
and you're not banned,
you can just reactivate it later, I think.
That's probably what he's doing.
Yeah, that's probably what he did.
He just went invisible, essentially.
People don't like it when you...
Not only do they not like it,
people who never knew who he was before
now know him because of this
and they're kind of involved.
You know what I mean?
I didn't realize it was such a faux pas.
It's a huge faux pas.
People hate it.
Yeah, nobody likes that.
People do not like him now.
We should have him on the show.
Keemstar, I think, said he's done with the...
He's no longer on the Lol Cow show
that he and Keemstar do together.
And Wings is on it as well. Yeah, I think so. That's the end of the lol cow show that he and keemstar do together and wings is on it as well
yeah i think so that's that's the end of the boogie chat well yeah we'll see maybe if he's
if he's pulling numbers for a bit maybe they let him i tell you the next episode is gonna be a
like popular one to see so i would my guess is this he didn't just lie to all of us he lied to keem and and wings too about this
cancer thing i i i'm i'm making this up out of whole cloth but like i bet there was talks
because like you know the cancer's really acting up today could you fill in for me like
or maybe or maybe like like hey that could you round that paycheck up you know a to the next
to the next point for me. This cancer, oh man.
It's just so expensive these days
with the
treatments that I get.
Keemstar may not have liked that he
lied about Keemstar.
I know Keemstar
well enough to say he's okay with lying.
I absolutely fucking guarantee it.
But he was sort of
pretending Keemstar didn't pay him
properly and such and he might not have liked that i need to make this bigger keem says or
keem tweeted boogie2988 biological brother there's a quote before biological brother and not afterwards
i don't know about that who's also a doctor claims boogie does in fact have cancer to those who are
trolling my brother hashtag boogie2988 i can
confirm that his diagnosis of polycythemia vera is absolutely true he has suffered with this
debilitating condition for at least two years i stake my reputation as a health care professional
on this fact now why would you do it you know i'm already on it what he's like what he's on it you
know what like medical doctors blood cancer okay know what? Medical doctors tend not to have
PhD after their name.
I'm going to stake my reputation
as a healthcare provider that he doesn't have cancer.
I'm willing to stake mine
as a healthcare provider as well.
I'm going to go ahead and make
Boogie's real not-doctor-brother
account on Twitter right now
and be like, he's lying!
Do you remember? Was it basal cell?
Basal cell carcinoma.
Yeah, that's it.
The harshest form of cancer, so I'm saying.
People are saying,
so this is his brother?
It starts with your eyes.
Well, he made
his 11-year-old account.
Why does it say PhD if he's a medical doctor?
What's his website?
What's his little link there?
The drbdub.tech.
Just shows you all the best wing combinations.
What if it was porn?
Oh, no.
This site can't be reached.
This site is made up.
You have been had.
It's like that episode of It's Always Sunny where P. Diddy was a doctor.
Oh, yeah.
Dr. Jinxed.
He just sprays a little Lysol on his arm.
Man, maybe Boogie's playing the long con and he really does.
I looked up Brian Williams, Ph.D.
It's a black dude.
Are we sure this is his brother?
There could be a lot of Brian Williams
PhDs out there.
It's just funny.
I don't know what that is.
He could have fibbed to his own brother.
He's acting like he's staking his medical
what did he say?
Reputation or whatever.
You can't stake your medical degree when you have a PhD.
Fair. I didn't stake your medical degree when you have a PhD. Fair.
Okay, I didn't read that.
It seems like maybe...
PhD is like a doctorate of literature or psychology
or fucking history.
He's taking his reputation as a historian
on the fact that...
I know the history, and the history is that he's been
dealing with this for two years now.
Yeah.
If he, why not just make a cool $75,000 and show his test results and get the pity, get people off his ass, and make $75,000?
Someone can offer something before that money is like an escrow or you've put it in an account or something.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, but these are big straight.
Like Keemstar offered $15,000.
This guy, Mudahar, who's a giant okay if it's piecemeal like that that's kind of different
live like they're not yeah i don't know it's a really shitty thing to lie about um you know
there's a whole seinfeld episode about just how shitty that would be to do and take advantage and
get like little benefits in life like parking spaces and discounts here and there then he that guy gets cancer in the end and it kills him anyway remember
little um yeah he actually john lovitz he actually gets the cancer and it kills him i think zach says
uh destiny muda keem and camelot not sure who camelot is those are the four
that offered money if he showed his test. That's great.
And so I think, I know Destiny, Mudahar, and Keem are all big enough
that they're not going to go on a stream and promise money,
and then if they're proven wrong, they're like, oh, I'm backing out.
Okay, I want in. I want my name in this.
I'm going to, $13.37.
Elite amount of cash.
I was so afraid you were going to say $10,000,
and then Boogie was gonna flip his cards
over and say straight flush no no that kind of long game would make him the baddest motherfucker
of all time if he if this was all like a master plan because you know once it's easy for for
woody for example to jump in like yeah 10000 boogie if you should. Because we know like almost for sure that this is a bit of he fibbed.
But maybe that's the long game he's been playing.
And he's just waiting till it gets to that hundred thousand dollar number to flip his cards.
That all hinges on boogie being a genius.
Yes.
He would need to be a genius or a Randy Marsh in his backyard with an X-ray machine.
Get after it.
Get after it get after using like high red blood cells as the determination of that it's like when you're a trt yeah it's like
kyle being like man my stomach's been bothering me for the last week or so you know what that
causes or what causes that stomach cancer i'm gonna bank on that being the solution it's like
well you've eaten a lot of nonsense in the last week man you're right it's like the hot sauce on everything like 2017 kyle
who made up his own taco bell recipes oh yeah that was like i can make a hell of a crunch wrap supreme
i am very good at it like my crunch wrap supreme is way better than a taco bell one
i think that was during your 33 year vegetable boycott, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah,
yeah. I tell people that and they don't believe because now I love vegetables and I love cooking
with them. There's not a vegetable I don't eat and enjoy. But I genuinely didn't eat a vegetable
the first 33 years of my life. I ate only lettuce, like smothered in ranch at a Pizza Hut
salad bar, that sort of vegetables.
Oh, there's a cucumber, get in there.
Wiping my tongue with a
towel, the tomatoes and tomato sauce.
Have you heard there's no such
thing as a vegetable?
Is that your
theory?
No, apparently vegetable is not a thing like that's a legume
yeah that's a legume that's a fruit that kind of knows it motherfucker that's a root like there's
a bunch of things but but like a botanist has no concept of vegetable they know lots of things but
not vegetable is a cooking term colloquial term yeah it's it's term, yeah. I'm glad that we've got...
So is bug, right?
There is an animal called a bug,
but it's not an insect.
Is it a mammal?
No, it's a...
This is kind of complicated because of the words we're using.
Type of bug.
You would look at it and say, that's a bug.
But you're like, ah, you're more right than you know.
That's literally the bug it's
if you look i would also think it was an insect when it's not you'd be wrong yeah yeah i'm like
99 sure i'm right about that way more positive than i am about boogie not having cancer i don't
know anything about yeah bug taxonomy so i won't weigh in but. Read up on it. I'd appreciate it.
Dude, I don't want to
shift away from Boogie, but I keep forgetting
that game where you control a colony of
ants that's coming out. I'm going to play that. That looks
so fucking cool.
Oh, looky here. Yeah, I saw something
similar when I was Googling it. Oh, this is like a
square rectangle thing.
All bugs are insects, but not all insects are pugs.
Fair. Alright, So bugs are the worst
ones. That's what you get when you take your...
Who does animal divisions? Well, whatever.
Your zoology information from a comedy podcast.
Yeah, we're spot on over here.
But yeah, that's a pretty awful thing to do um
especially if you manipulate people using it and even more so if you manipulate people who you
consider to be close friends like like i can understand maybe you don't feel like comfortable
telling your friends the truth truth the true truth but like you you would never be like
like manipulate them with it too like you know what
i mean like because i'm just i'm imagining a scenario where like this guy's worried about
poverty or or paying a mortgage or something and he's like i got it a fake cancer diagnosis that'll
get the cashola coming in we couple that with a crypto pump and dump and those rubes will be paying out that wazoo.
I seem to be the only person who ever
thinks that if the scam is scammy
enough, it goes full circle
and everyone knew what they were getting into.
I thought Boogie
had a reputable coin, Woody. I'm sorry.
$50,000 later and I'm left
holding my pockets.
My life's
ruined. How am I going to explain to my wife
that I lost the house because of
fat coin? He said the coin
was going to cure his cancer.
It's because I have a soft spot for
Boogie that I look at this obvious
scam and say, oh, you know,
everyone thought it was a good fun.
It's like a retard
in a parking lot trying to trick you
with three-card Monty and he's like fumbling and everything. It's like, oh, come on lot trying to trick you with three-card Monty,
and he's fumbling and everything.
It's like, oh, come on.
We all saw what cup the ball's under.
I don't follow him or his coin at all.
I didn't know he had a coin until this very moment. So my question would be, did he say, hey, think of this as a cancer charity
when you buy my coin that might actually turn out to be profitable for you.
We hope it will.
That's what we're trying to do.
We're trying to make a profitable coin.
We've got this technology behind us, and we're hoping that this industry uses our coin to lock their digital locker locks.
And it'd be in every locker and every train station in America.
That's 18 million.
Okay, well, shit.
Maybe we will make some money.
And at worst case scenario scenario we fund boogie's
cancer treatment like if you said that with your fake cancer i mean that's that seems fraudulent
to me that seems like a like you like made a cancer charity but he has a young girlfriend
that he shows mostly naked on stream apparently he's the real Jabba the Hutt vibe.
Zach, show me a picture of Boogie and his girlfriend
together.
I'm a fatty going to
local dishes.
Show me that, but don't actually show me that.
Show me Jabba the Hutt and Princess Leia.
And we'll pretend like it's boogie
now mute the last eight seconds
we we went on a little bit of a late show rant a show or two ago and and uh we made the call that
10 minutes of the show had to be excised and i didn't think i said anything bad i just described
a hype if anybody's curious i described a hypothetical. If anybody's curious, I described a hypothetical
that we all agreed was a touchy hypothetical.
Not one that involved any of us.
Either.
If this third party and that third party, blah, blah, blah.
And then we realized we said something we probably shouldn't say.
Yeah.
So it wasn't a big of a deal.
It was just a hilarious joke that I wrote.
So are you guys going to get in on the fat coin now?
Oh, that'd be great.
Just please separate me from my money.
You can't rug pull twice, right?
Now's the time to buy.
What's it valued at right now? I would love to know.
It seemed like to fund it, he needed
five grand. Zero.
Zero. Okay, so get in.
Ground floor, folks.
Buy low. Ground floor folks well that's all that's awful um hate to hear that i bet dick masterson is just
gooning somewhere reading through the articles he's just talking one hand and mouse in the other
just edging i feel like i'm not yeah yeah it's edging but with
also but they take it great they take it to another level often with like lots of screens
and each of them is like the the dirtiest porn they could find and it's like on loops with like
music and maybe even some chemicals to enhance the experience you know and it's and it's a whole
day thing you know that's gooning and so there's a subreddit called goon caves i think and it's and it's a whole day thing you know that's gooning and so there's a
subreddit called goon caves i think and it's got showing off like there it's almost like racing
sims like if you go to that subreddit people show off the race those things are cool they are so
cool this is not bad um yeah it's really sad so it's the opposite of a cool racing sim. I need a gooning cave that I can
transform into a racing sim for cover.
Yeah, get it at a discount?
The guys recover?
Well, no.
It's a really used gooning cave
with three TVs and a requirer.
But I just pulled the steering wheel in front of me
when I'm not using it, so people don't know.
I tried to check it out.
Goon caves has been banned.
For their own good i imagine dude all
these subreddits get banned oh my bad goon cave i guess it's not plural goon caves here there you
go don't worry what are your your your graping subreddits aren't all banned yeah this is just
dudes sitting like with like a hard dick being like, look at all the porn I'm watching at the same time.
Yeah.
Dude, they're like air traffic controllers trying to pay attention.
I like to look in the background to those photos.
Like I'm looking for like if there's like drugs, if there's like paraphernalia, I want to know like what's going on.
Like do you see their mom's feet at the door?
Do their feet look disappointed?
This guy. Actually, let's go. Why am I on top today?
Let's do a little top all time.
This person has seven screens.
Lucky number.
This person has eight screens and porn
posters behind.
This person needs to go on a cut
and would benefit from a
bigger junk.
A good scrubbing.
Hmm.
Oh.
Why would you post this?
Why would any of these people post this? Can we show any of these?
No.
If you guys
want to participate, go to our
Goon Camp and you'll see some real
debauchery, I guess.
This one particular person has good taste.
If you want a little
fun Photoshop project, Photoshop
Dick Masterson gooning
to like eight screens of
Boogie being sad.
I went to the top all the time.
This dude has
literally a dozen screens
of porn all playing different videos
and then the entire room
is porn posters.
It's pretty hot, honestly.
Oh my god, there's eight screens
Wait, hold on.
How do you have company over there?
This is a special one.
And like Taylor said, there must be 30.
Oh, scroll down one from that link you sent me,
and this guy's got, like, magazines everywhere,
but he's got, like, a whole – he has a –
what do you call those expensive locking boxes that you use for gun shit sometimes?
He's got one of those full of pocket pussies.
He's got three, six, nine, 12 different pocket pussies
and four butt plugs and a stroker and like a pint of lube.
And like a locking case.
Those seem to be pretty significant butt plugs.
This isn't this guy's first rodeo.
The top leg that Taylor sent?
One of those pictures had an actual active woman joining in his session.
That's a good time.
She's changed to a radiator.
That's a faux pas in the goonie world.
Is there like a goonette?
No.
A goonette.
Two T's and an E.
Excited to be here.
I'm currently finishing up my 2.5 week vacation.
But all, I can't wait to be back at my cave in a couple
days here was my last session on 55 inch ultra wide laptop and vertical imagine like you're
you're on vacation for two weeks and as you're like on the beach you're like man i can't wait
to post about jacking off to porn to all my buddies.
I still want to do like a family feud style game for us.
But I was going to ask, family feud style,
after you've been on a vacation for a week or two weeks or just away from home for that long,
what's the number one thing that you miss that's back home?
What are you thinking? the number one thing that you miss that's back home? It's back home.
What are you thinking? Man, I can't wait to get back home to do this or see this or do that.
I like it when I walk into the house
and my Wi-Fi automatically connects.
Okay, that
would be...
Zero
out of one respondent said,
I like when I get back home
and my Wi-Fi connects.
Taylor, for the steal, show me my own bed.
Ding, ding, ding, ding.
Number two answered my own bed.
Number one was, of course, my wife.
Number three was, of course, using my own toilet.
Yeah, do you think my own toilet?
I'm not a toilet child, so I don't mind as much about that.
What is over there, like, dragon? I'm not toilet-shy, so I don't mind as much about that. What, he's over there like, dragon?
I really do like that. Home is where the Wi-Fi
connects. Holy shit.
A lot of these guys are making a point to put
their hard dicks in these pictures
as if to be like, I'm no
big talker,
guys. I do jack off.
I come.
Don't you even say otherwise. can we talk about boogie again
yeah you think there'll be an actual ramification from all this legal you mean class action lawsuit
assembled by his coin investors who felt like i would really doubt that this then no i i think
taylor thinks his career is over i think bogey is in an all publicity is good
publicity situation yeah he really needs to just wrap his arms around this thing and own it if i
were him and i'm telling you i get one green screen he's got a green screen fucking set up a
whole hospital room be in the gown i want to have the beep, beep, beep, beep.
Even if it's just your girlfriend and everybody knows that's your girlfriend,
dress her up as a nurse.
Have her come in and have her listen to your enormous heart and go,
ooh, yeah, the cancer's real bad today.
And then just walk away. Just lean right on into it.
Lean right on into it.
That would win me back.
Because what he did isn't evil.
We just had somebody go after
a 17-year-old child.
Just think about it. In comparison,
we just had the doc go after a 17-year-old child.
Obviously, the doc was beloved
by millions of people.
I know that that kid was 17. We just know
at least under 18.
I know what this boogie news... Doc did this
to protect his old hat.
I'm just saying, I don't think you should go so hard on boogie like like i feel like maybe people might be apt to go harder
on boogie than they were on doc and it's like i don't know about this i feel like one of these
guys did something worse um but i don't you know it's awful what he did especially like i said if
you like dupe your friends and manipulate them into whatever some sort of financial favorite favorite
sort of thing if you got like a friend business ship type thing going on it's it that's that's
icky to me that's that's you know that's a kind of dishonesty that is sort of inexcusable it's
like maybe i haven't thought it through but to me boogie is the center of attention right now
he's relevant in a way that you're more relevant than he's been for 10 years now.
And really, I think he should come up with the scam coin.
Has scam coin.
Another coin.
I guess I was thinking.
Literally name it scam coin.
Like lean into it.
I was thinking he's going to be like totally done.
I think everybody will buy it.
Because he was like his whole marketing,
his whole brand was like Mr. Wholesome, you know, just having a good time.
But I guess that hasn't been the case for.
Aren't you 12 years behind with that?
At least a few years. So like it's not like those people are supporting him anymore anyway.
So as long as he stays on, I guess that maybe that podcast does pretty well with him and Wings.
Like maybe that could could be a thing. People are going to hate watch it. They're going to hate watch him and uh wings like maybe that could could be a thing people are gonna hate watch
it they're gonna hate watch him and leave comments i bet his youtube channel is is seeing an uptick
in views right now just people going over there to say mean things yeah let's see let's see what
people are saying let's go to boogie's most recent video. Let's go to his most recent video.
It's got two days ago.
Francis Trolls fan at Southeast
Game Exchange.
Wow.
So Boogie's really defeated the weight
loss surgery.
He won.
Dude, flawless victory.
Isn't that crazy? what a bullshit story i mean what a bullshit uh uh surgery they all i feel like those things
are sold as like a fix all like a nuclear option yeah that's why they get people on it because
they're like man i can't control my eating maybe this magic surgery will make it work and then
the doctors even are probably like,
you know,
this isn't a magic fix.
It's,
it's going to help you with your appetite a bit.
Actually,
it probably won't even help you out there.
If you're,
if you're eating that much,
you're not eating because your appetite's so big.
You're just,
you're compulsively eating because that's your drug.
It'll make you feel bad if you behave badly for a while.
For a while,
it was making wings like nauseous to,
to,
to eat more than,
you know, a certain amount. But I just remember
he'd get them liquid calories and it's like
what are you doing?
You guys aren't going to believe this.
A lot of people bringing up the cancer stuff
in the comments. Oh darn.
Boogie will show his girlfriend
practically naked but showing proof that he
has cancer is privacy
invasion.
That girl looks scared,
by the way. We all agree, right?
Oh, I didn't see her in that.
Hey, I'm the last one!
I love what we did!
I don't see her in this video. I'm scrubbing through.
Would it be like...
I feel like I want to be Boogie's
only friend in this situation. If I left a comment
that said keep your chins up.
I like that. That's fun.
Damn.
Keep your chins up.
Damn.
Text him right now.
Don't do that you know like like
yeah he's he's gained weight and he has cancer so give him a break man that would be awesome if he was like test results that'll be eighty thousand dollars please
like destiny and all these people have to pay him.
That'd be funny.
I guess if Destiny only offered five,
that one guy, Mudahar, with 50,
he'd be the only one on the hook for a ridiculous...
I guess they're all so successful and wealthy
they wouldn't really miss that amount of money.
But man, I don't see this as being
like a grand chess strategy from Boogie.
He actually has cancer.
If he does, it's circumstantial.
I see it as a career resurgence.
I love Kyle.
Kyle has so many good ideas.
I'm like, what if I did a cancer stream, right?
I got a green screen.
I could take like a microphone cord, tape it to my whatever the opposite of your elbow is called.
Where does the iv go and i don't know saline bag of some sort with a microphone cord leading to me be hilarious you have to shave your head like you'd have to commit and be bald for it
or at least get a bald cap ah now we're talking yeah
yeah we all showed up next week with bald caps begged for money for having cancer
we all have rapid onset cancer boogie gave it to us
can you say that again your audio is not working quite right is it is it now yeah it is now yeah
sorry i had to reset my microphone i was was going to say, if you fully commit,
it's about $200 to have a nurse come to your
house and give you an IV bag of
some sort of vitamin saline.
Not only does it feel fantastic,
you get super hydrated
and you just feel better, but
it'd be a great fit.
But the thing about the microphone cord is I don't want
to actually fool anybody. I don't want to
actually convince them I have cancer. I'm no boogie. I don't want to actually fool anybody. I don't want to actually convince them I have cancer.
Oh, no one would get fooled.
I'm no boogie.
I wouldn't want to mislead you.
You don't have the go-getter stick-to-itiveness of boogie.
Damn.
What's his...
Take an HDMI cable and put it on my...
That'd be funny.
This is a really bad like-dislike ratio.
Wait, how can you tell?
You have a plug-in.
Oh, yeah.
I have the extender.
It's just way easier to know
whether you're about to watch a good video or not
if it's got the ratings on it.
It makes sense.
I never know which little plug-in
is making my browser slower than it could be,
so I keep them to a minimum.
I just have one YouTube dislike
and that's...
The greatest one ever, and for
anyone, everyone needs to know about this. This needs to be a public
service announcement. If you do like Twitch drops
ever, if you need to watch
one of those gamers for X amount of hours
to collect
items in game,
there's automatic
Twitch drop extensions for Chrome that will just do all of
the busy work for you. And you can just put the stream on like 160p and minimize it and it'll
just collect everything for you. Those are so handy. My favorite is archive page. I don't know
if everyone knows about this, but there's a Chrome plugin. It gets you past every paywall. And as a
news junkie, it would be expensive to subscribe
to every heckin' newspaper
and website out there.
Yeah, I used to do that for like, there were some
sports sites that would track
early trades and whatnot
and they'd paywall it
and I would use that archive trick.
I'd be like, you're not getting me, bitch.
I'm gonna find out whether you're
blowing smoke about this trade right now, then click and be like, oh, good thing I didn't pay, you're not getting me, bitch. I'm going to find out whether you're blowing smoke about this trade right now.
Then click and be like, oh, good thing I didn't pay.
You lied.
You don't know anything.
It's always the case.
Yeah.
So shout out to Boogie, friend of the show.
Yeah, get well soon, bro.
You're in our thoughts.
You're in our prayers to recover from this dastard to bastardly the big c as they call it crime
we were racing to it well done damn
yeah i don't i don't think who knows maybe maybe what he's right and he's going to come back as the
the big bad wolf of youtube the ultimate arc yeah that's the way to go he's writing. He's going to come back as the big bad wolf of YouTube. The ultimate arc.
He's already there, right?
I feel like he's
been the bad guy of YouTube for
a good five years now. He should become a try-on girl.
I want to see him
do some try-on
videos. He'll get my view. I don't want to
see that. Kyle has this particular
kind of genius.
You can call it that. I do do i have a particular set of skills i would give anything to see boogie dressed up uh and and one of those mesh body suits it would
look like he was caught in a fishing net like a porpoise but yeah he cut out
um dude i i don't i i gotta mention this try on girls every week because man it's just a wild i
you know what i found out though i discovered this by going down a deep deep goon hole um amaranth
started out as a try on girl apparently did she. Oh, did she? Yeah, because I found two or three-year-old videos.
I was like, man, this girl is smoking hot,
and she looks just like Amaranth.
She's wearing nothing, and it is Amaranth.
Like literally nothing?
Yeah, it's like a G-string and a tiny C-3 bra thing.
I mean, if you go to influencersgonewild.com,
you can find all the amaranth pornography
you want she goes pretty pretty naked over there yeah but that's gotta be accidental it's gotta be
accidental well like at least are plausibly accidental that's what the try on girls present
right oh oh oh i see i see that's your kink. No, I'm into that too. I like, uh, myself for a moment there. Yeah, no, no, no. I, I, I'm into that too.
I like that. They grow their pubic hair out just to like flaunt it and be like,
yeah, I'm showing you way more than you ought to be seeing.
She like pull her skirt down until you see pubic hair and then pop it back up.
She was like, Oh, there's my titties. Whoopsie daisy. He, he, he.
And it's just like, this is the best YouTube channel.
my titties whoopsie daisy he he he and it's just like this is the best youtube channel way better than x jaws you're familiar with the related genre which is window cleaning advice
yeah yeah i'm not into that but but but i mean you don't like that one what i feel so what they
do is they wear really revealing things often transparent gowns if you will and then they
bend over and they wash windows and mirrors,
things like that. So it allows them to
bend over in front of the camera. What I like
is when the girl is showing off four or five
different things, and so you can
fast forward through them all to get to the good one.
Because you'll see that spike in viewership
and repeat viewership whenever she
gets her titties out or her pussy completely
flops out. One girl
had a butt plug in and it's
like ah go to three minutes and 37 seconds that's when she just has a butt plug hanging out and it's
good stuff good time good stuff this is just a lot of videos with genuine window cleaning advice
what am i supposed to be searching no no i'm gonna find one for you you want to use you want
to use keywords like transparent i'm getting suggested Evo the window cleaner and window cleaning venture.
It's not what I need.
That's no fun at all. I wouldn't watch
those videos. Well, I'm halfway through one
and no one's naked yet.
They're naked at the beginning of the video.
I got you. This one's not even that
good because her sheer outfit is too
long, but I was in a time crunch.
Yeah, there you go.
Look at all those clothes. clothes yeah but you can completely
see the outline go and do a funeral yeah that's a good video you got there this is called 4k
transparent gown window cleaning athena allure try on uh the youtube channel is called hot baby
uh it's uh his window's not even fucking dirty she's lying i can't see the front side of
that woman but the back side is tremendous uh that's the other thing the the participants
range from rough looking trailer trash grandmas to like legitimate like nine out of ten like you're
really struggling to find a flaw or like if this was a creative character you're like i think i'm good i think we're good here we just we can apply it's funny
that kyle doesn't give out tens like the top of the scale is a nine yeah there's no tens on
fucking youtube they've been snatched up by saudi oil sheiks and shit like that they they don't they
don't let those get out to our 10 state in kyle's mind that can only exist for like a day or two you know she's too young and then too old
on the either on the other side of this very tiny peak dude these are the most this is the most
absurd genre of youtube video like the suggested one after this is just transparent clothes in
dressing room and this this lady's for all intents and purposes, is fully naked. And then when it goes to take off the most sheer nighty of all time,
I don't know if there's a lower blur you can add to a video.
Oh, that's a new meta.
This is like it's 360p with the blur.
And so you can still see areola.
This is ridiculous.
Yeah, so Taylor, that's a new meta.
It came into fashion
about three weeks ago this blur meta and and and so usually there's a quick transition between
outfits like okay that's the peak bikini set now i'm going to show you the lime green and there's
like a click and now she's got lime green on now they blur her a little and she just strips naked
in front of the camera and uh and then like gets dressed and and none of them are doing what
i would do which is to like remove the blur a little too early you know what they should do
they should have the blur in a in like the steady spot while she moves in and out of
oh i like that the guy did my best i'll put like a black bar up she's like dipping down
yes yes yeah and and and to the
uninitiated you may imagine that like we're talking about oh you can kind of see through
that mesh there's there's that's her but sometimes there it'll just be her pussy will just be out
like you'll see her lips hanging out like like you'll see i you'll see buttholes um you'll see
all sorts of stuff looks like yeah yeah it's it's a wild time over there um
god and all our friends can't make i mean these are these these are probably monetized i have
i have youtube premium whatever i don't know yeah i pay so i don't know we all have premium
dude i use youtube more than netflix if i was down to one streaming service that i paid for
yeah youtube is the one that would it have. It'd have to be YouTube. YouTube provides more hours of
content because you have content creators
making stuff so regularly.
I'm in a jam right now where I'm
watching old Summit shit.
I'm watching Summit
VODs and stuff like that.
This is hours and hours and
hours of content. It's good shit.
My dumbass watches calls for
Biden to step down four hours a day
okay that's my new kick if i'm being honest i didn't want to go there this early in the show
but let me just tell you uh i have never in my entire life i have always enjoyed watching cnn
fox news even as a kid for whatever reason like when i was in high school i dug it um i liked
cable news i found it fun to watch and so but But I always saw that there was the blue team and the red team. And if something crazy happens, you can't defend. But for the most part, there's a blue team and the red team. I saw in his interview where I think he said, I got to do gooder.
He said, I have to do gooder or something than him to win the election and know that I tried my best.
And it was like the White House contacts the TV or CBS or whoever it is and says, hey, our stenographers actually had not good gooder but good as is that what you had and they're like no we heard gooder weird could you make the correction to to to fix the uh the
incongruency there no it's called the most baffled and confused sign language interpreter of my life
like just red trying and worse. And worse than that,
worse than that,
because somebody got fired over
this thing they did this week.
Biden calls into a black radio station
where they've already passed
the questions off in secret beforehand
for the interview.
He still bombs.
He still sounds crazy.
And they fire the radio host
for giving the questions beforehand.
And, you know, it got found out.
And he's not done. He's going on
for an interview with Lester Holt
this week. He's doing another one of
these. It started an hour ago.
I don't know how long it is.
No spoilers.
Kyle, if he did it later tonight,
it'd be past 8 p.m.
We got a sleepy president.
Okay. Okay. Can I give you sleepy president like no okay okay it was it i can i give you a
spoiler let's spoil it spoil it apparently he calls zelinski putin this thing uh i mean there's
only two big guys over there and they sound similar that might have been the nato summit i might be mixing it up with the thing but he does do that um at this point they're they're hard scope you know it's not even fair
right you can hard scope a trump thing and find things he says wrong or get whatever but if you
listen to all 90 minutes of it it's basically coherent he's up there riffing in the heat um trump has lots of flaws but his decline is not the same as
biden's there is no both physically it's it's so it's so different there too yeah um did you watch
that five minute video i sent in the whatsapp where the parkinson's disease specialist... I saw it independently of that already.
Oh, you had seen it?
I think Megyn Kelly had it on her show.
She played it in its entirety.
Where the doctor's like ranting,
I guarantee it's Parkinson's.
I state my reputation.
This is also Boogie's doctor.
Boogie's brother.
He's wearing a lot of hats right now.
Yeah, I saw that.
He said something that burned into my mind which was like i could
diagnose this guy from across the mall and i heard that and i was like what no you can't and then i
thought about it and i wrote this in the whatsapp too if you show me a guy swimming for three
strokes i can tell you how good a swimmer he is without any doubt and i'm like i bet taylor can
look at a guy's wrist shot and probably semi-accurately predict
what level of hockey he played at just by looking at the wrist shot give give him two shots in a
and skate from blue line to blue line and Taylor will tell you what this guy can offer
and like if you have any like movement expertise you can do that pretty quickly I can do it with
grappling a little bit this guy it completely makes sense that he could spot Parkinson's he
does this for a living.
He's a medical doctor who specializes in Parkinson's and he's like, it is clear as day
by the way that he pivots, by the way that he drifts off at the end of his sentence,
by the way that he takes that short shuffle gate, by the way that he walks without swinging his
arms. He's like, he has no doubt. And he's a Democrat who's doing all this. And I was like,
man, I just, I believe him.
I believe him.
And I kind of feel like our government is doing, and I'm just echoing what he said, a thing that North Korea would do or that Russia would do.
When Russia invaded Crimea, it just flat out denied that those were their soldiers.
Like, oh, those little green men who came in there and took over Crimea?
We know nothing about it.
Yeah, could be anyone, right?
I kind of feel like we're adjacent
to that. You know, Parkinson's?
That sounds wild. Why would you say that?
It's been an emperor has no
clothes period for
the past few years where a lot of people
have been like, this dude is not with it.
This guy is clearly not
at 100%. He's
diminished severely.
They successfully hit him, and then he did well at the State of the Union.
That's what I was going to say, yeah.
I give myself a little sympathy for pushing back against the Fox Newses who just kept saying he was losing it, losing it, losing it,
when really he was hidden in a bunker.
No, what I saw is what you saw, Woody.
So obviously, and I'm going back to state of the union
this is where my mind was after watching the state of the union which nine months ago now maybe
something like that maybe not even that less i think but i'm not sure i i thought okay biden is
an old man who needs a nap during the day and gets groggy and his worst times. And I bet if any third aggravator
got involved with old and sleepy,
then he'd look a little loony.
Like if you added cold medicine
or you added a day where he didn't get his nap.
I can imagine.
Jet lag.
Jet lag.
And I'm imagining him with a real presidential workload
as it's been described to me my entire life as this crack of dawn, late nights, all the time kind of thing that ages you 10 years and four.
So I'm just assuming he's doing that.
I'm thinking, yeah, but today he got his fucking nap in.
He's strong.
His voice is strong.
He looks strong.
Are you like, yes, this is convinced that he because i have a state of the union yeah
he was powerful like many of us like have been saying for years that it is it's been bananas
to believe that he's like waking up early and and working and like staying up late and working like
he's been diminished and allowing surrogates to run the country for years like he's he's just been
a figurehead who they parade out once in a while and they hope he
doesn't have a catastrophic failure where he falls all over himself or drifts away in mid-sentence
like i i feel like it's been clear for a long time that he has not been running the show
i don't know about that i think i'm sure he's making i don't this last week or two has really caused me to to need to re-evaluate what
i think i suppose because it's hard to tell again i thought that it was old man who's sleepy and
groggy sometimes but clearly when he needs to turn it on like tonight at the state of the union he
can do it therefore i imagine when he needs to turn it on for a trade deal or a big board meeting
or whatever you call it when you get the joint chiefs of staff together or a policy negotiation,
he gets his naps in on those days too.
And so in essence, he's there when they really need him.
The rest of the time it's on autopilot.
And I was fine with that.
But now I'm wondering, he seems like one of those old guys who has good days and bad days,
and he's getting more bad days, rapidly having more bad days than good days here at the
at the tail end of this presidency and it's like how many bad how long has it been like that like
how many awful days have there been have there been days where he didn't get out of bed have
there been days where he completely couldn't follow a conversation and so we just adjourned
the meeting and held it you know down the hallway with the chief of staff.
Like, how bad has this been for Kyle?
You're a whatever earth god for right now.
You get to choose the next Democrat.
Like, who should be running instead of Biden?
Oh, OK.
OK, so if I asked the question, well, I hope.
No, you did.
You did.
Like if if I and I want the Democratic Party to win, if I want the DNC to win.
Yeah, you're trying to help them.
Okay.
So first of all, I'm going to steal this from Megyn Kelly.
I have Barack, Michelle, Hillary, and Bill go to the White House and meet Joe.
And they say, Joe, it's noon.
Good morning.
And one hour, there's a press conference out there in the Rose Garden. The press is assembled.
Either you're going out there...
Who are those black guys in the White House?
Boy!
Boy!
Now you fetch my slippers, boy!
Mammy, I'd like some scrambly eggs.
Now, Mr. President,
how can I help you sir
like that would be hilarious that's an snl bit they'll never make um but but anyway they come
in and he's lucid because it's noon and they inject him or whatever it takes and they they
would say hey there's a press conference in an hour either you're going out there or we are
they're assembled you can either tell you know let us fucking you're you know go out on your shield here like for the good of the party like
here's your speech we had it written by our guy who knows how to write speeches and and that would
work he'd have to give up because if you had those four go out there and have a press conference and
say the it's it's in, it's in the national interest that
the 25th Amendment
is employed here because
our friend, our colleague,
our family, our brother,
kiss his ass as much as you can, but say
he can't hack it anymore and kick him out
of the job. But once you do that,
I said this yesterday
because it just kind of popped into my head,
but it's Al Gore.
I know.
I know.
Hear me out.
Hear me out.
Hear me the fuck.
Hear me out.
Al Gore is from the time of stability and prosperity.
And he was there when the coin flipped heads,
when it could have flipped tails, when there was like 500 votes in one County in Florida.
And,
and he could have been George Bush on nine 11 and saved trillions of dollars and not invaded multiple countries.
There's alternate universes where Al Gore was the president for those eight years.
And I think it's a better fucking place.
But I kind of still see that in him.
And not only do I see all that, I see that he kind of grew a sense of humor in the last 25 years he's 76 now for all
i know he's spring chicken yeah he's is he still jetting around saving the world um to me i i kind
of want i want a name i know but i want somebody that feels safe i don't think that gavin newson
guy can win you know a national race i don't i think it has to be kamala um is if i'm trying to win
and i'm not allowed to make some sort of wacky like michelle obama and um al gore type mix like
that's what i'd want probably by the way is like michelle obama and al gore something like some
kind of mix of them uh would be i think the strongest uh the strongest wacky pick but she's already said she doesn't want it
and but
I'm sorry I'll keep going
but Kamala it has to be Kamala
because I heard some legal
political legal jargon about how
if Joe were to step
down and allow Kamala to be president
and then she's the incumbent
it checks off more of these boxes
that these 13 keys
to the white house or something like that that you need x amount of making her the uh come all
like the punctuation come on i don't i'm okay with being disrespectful to kamala
that's how it rolls up you privately so nobody do i i don't care i i don't care well okay kamala is it kamala kamala it's what you just said it's
what you said kyle i think you got it right kamala um uh if she were the incumbent it seems like she
has a pretty good shot as well because she gets they explained how something about his
his campaign funds could directly be transferred to her. Um, if she became the incumbent,
um,
and I didn't really pay too much.
She's so unpopular.
Like she's got less of a chance than fucking a dead Joe Biden.
I think the DEI criticism of her will hit hard.
Right.
You know,
she,
I remember when he picked before he picked her,
he's like,
I'm going to limit my choices for VP to just women.
And I'm like, ah, that feels yucky to me.
Right.
He didn't say he's going to pick the best person who could be president in case something happens to him.
He said he's going to pick the best woman.
And then he chose Kamala.
And I don't hate Kamala like everybody else does.
But I do acknowledge everybody else does therefore
there's something going on that matters and uh i like newsome the reason i like newsome is i
thought he absolutely buttfucked desantis in their debate and desantis i think is better than trump
at it like if newsome were to go up there he would make trump look bad in the next debate and everyone
would be like we got our guy i think that's how it would play out.
But for reasons I don't fully understand,
only Kamala is able to inherit Biden's like fundraising ground game and all
that stuff.
Maybe that's true.
But Kamala just has too much of that.
Like Hillary Clinton energy of like,
she's so apparent in her insincerity and the way she's being she's just fake from top
to bottom yeah so she says a thing you guys have probably seen the like the viral video where she's
like we need to overlook what has been and look at what can be i messed that up but i'm close yeah
and i mentioned that to my wife i even showed her the video and she's like, well, Trump says build the wall again and again. Trump says lock her up again and again. Why does Trump get to repeat the same lines? But for her, it's insincerity. And I'm like, actually, I don't have an answer, but ham-handed in its delivery, a policy prescription.
Build the wall.
Like, he's saying something he wants to do, or he pretends to want to do. That man sells slogans.
He doesn't fight for it.
He sells slogans.
Like, what Kamal is doing is acting as though she has come up with a phrase organically at the end of a statement,
and then adding it in as, like, a little addendum.
And it's like, someone told her to say that or like beforehand they were like hey this little line this tested big but she
came up with it who knows she's not dumb are you riding with biden though me no i don't think so
i only say that because they had like uh they kept reporters have been hounding democrat officials
this week literally like chasing them down hallways and stuff.
And they were after this guy. And they were like, does the entire committee agree?
I'm riding with Biden.
Does every single member unanimously agree?
I'm riding with Biden.
10 times as he walks away from, I'm riding with Biden.
Not a good answer.
It is a good answer.
I mean, like he, look, he said where he answered the question.
I like that a lot more than dodging.
Well, he kind of dodged.
Well, that didn't really answer it.
If they're like, so everyone's on your side.
I'm riding with Biden.
Okay.
You said it, but everyone is.
I'm riding with Biden.
Okay.
So if it was, yes, you would have said yes.
Thanks.
Pelosi said something interesting.
They're like, hey, do you think Biden should step down?
And she's like, the NATO summit is this week.
I think we should put this aside this week
and it's like that wasn't yes that was a million miles from yes pelosi's like let's break the
knives out on monday pelosi's like well i'm even older than him somehow she already stepped down
yeah she did diane feinstein did she? That was her way of stepping down, yes.
That was how she stepped down.
That's how a lot of these people step down.
Yeah, they just age out of life.
They wheeled her corpse into the Senate during her dying days.
That's like during Trump's first presidency.
No, it was at the end of Obama's.
A lot of Democrats were like, please, Ruth, please step down.
And she's like, what?
And then she just dies two years into his presidency of being an ancient old woman.
Yeah, that's a lot.
A lot of these people, it turns out, once they have power, they really, really don't want to let go of it.
Makes sense.
It's probably fun.
That was an error. That was an error.
That was an error.
And now the country will reap the benefits of that error for years and decades to come.
Yeah.
I wonder how different it would be
if they had a 5-4 majority instead.
I wonder how much different it's going to be
if Trump gets to somehow install another justice.
I don't know if anybody's old enough, are they?
The oldest ones are Alito and Clarence Thomas
are the two oldest Supreme Court justices.
Yeah, but what happens to one of those younger guys?
Maybe.
Maybe.
You don't know.
Trump's America.
You never know.
But most likely,
Trump just sort of resets the counter
on what we already have
because it's the conservative
do you think in a trump landslide scenario he also carries the house in the senate yes and yes
yeah the senate i think you they're saying they get anyway even if biden wins do you know how look
i i enjoy the guy's jokes and his hotel properties are fantastic but do you know how like worrisome it is if donald trump is
the president and he has the supreme court and all of congress it's actually a really bad you know
you know what he's gonna have a secretary of revenge going after people i i'm not as optimistic
about that i think it would be like good for him to like give a little give a little bit of what
he's been getting for a few
years that'd be entertaining but what he's going to actually do if he gets elected i think maybe
i'm cynical is he's gonna try and like do some bullshit olive branch thing and then he's just
going to support israel harder than anyone we've ever seen and that's part of his state he's pledged
camp to support israel harder than anyone we've seen, which is what he did his first four years.
It's true.
Well, it seems to be a trend.
But yeah, I don't think he's going to go on a revenge tour the same way.
Like, I didn't buy it in 2016 when they're like,
he's going to be a dictator forever and he's going to be voting illegal.
He's going to do this and that.
And then we got in there and he's like we're gonna we're gonna uh fucking build a wall
and then we can't afford it and he's like oh i guess it's okay they arrested him they drug him
to court they took his rights away they humiliated him it's being thrown at him and in these debates
he's not happy about that he's he's and then when just as soon as they were done rubbing his nose in his mess, Mama came home and said,
whoa, whoa, whoa, didn't y'all know he's immune?
What have y'all done?
What have you done?
Well, it's a good thing he's not about to be the most powerful man in the world again
and have the Supreme Court and all of Congress at his whim.
It's a good thing that he doesn't get to decide who the attorney general is, that he doesn't
appoint judges, that he hasn't already appointed judges in many of the districts that you will be tried in
for defrauding the American people by hiding this Biden dementia, Parkinson's scandal.
How long has the hand at the wheel been that of a demented old man? How long were the ICBMs
in the control of someone who didn't know what Tuesday was anymore. I need to start supporting Trump and get on his good side.
He lets people back in the fold,
right?
He's already like,
okay with DeSantis.
He's going to let,
he's going to be friends with Nikki Haley soon enough.
I do like that.
Apparently he won't let,
uh,
that big fatty,
uh,
Chris Christie.
Yeah.
Chris Christie back in the fold,
just throwing,
throwing insults at him.
Like the fattest politician. I at him. Like sideways insults.
He's the fattest politician. I hate that.
I hate to hear people say it. Big fat pig. That's what they say.
Trump is kind of in the middle of his weight range, I'd say.
He was fatter as president, but he was thinner as a 2016 candidate.
He'll gain his president weight back if he wins.
I've had the honor and privilege of seeing those two men stand side by side in person and chris christie is just a a world of fat yeah yeah yeah i'd love
to get a picture with chris christie just imagine how good you'd look in that photo i'd you know
what i'd be like mr christie pop on the yankees outfit like pop on the yankees pants and then let's get a couple photos i'm going
to be looking fantastic i just heard trump tell the opposite joke he was meeting with the heritage
foundation the people behind 2025 and he's like and i took some pictures with them they're handsome
i'd like you all to destroy those pictures there's a bunch of good looking people i took pictures
with and i don't i want those pictures gone yeah he's he's got to lose the weight then he's got to keep it off can't be eating fucking
kfc every day on air force one you saw them delivering the mcdonald's to the court right
yeah he lives he lives that that way like that is the life that i want that mcdonald's
being trump secret service agent must be a creme de la creme position in the agency they're like
did you hear fucking newton berry got trump what what the residents no fucking body man
he's going everywhere with trump he's on the golf course right fucking now you know what
trump makes him drink and you know trump on the golf course he's just like working on a tight five the whole time he's like and another thing folks get a little of this
you want to know some secrets i know lots of stuff a lot of secrets a lot of secrets out
there i know all of them i love telling them love telling the random secret service agents
how'd you get into the aliens i can't tell you i can't tell you about the aliens wish i could
if they were real i would
i'll tell you someday like just doing stuff like that that'd be fun i wish you'd do some
and then like do you think the carter guys are like pissed where they're like this is ridiculous
i trained my whole life to be a secret service agent and they assigned me to a 98 year old man
who hasn't been president since i was minus two years old oh do they still have people on
carter who would hurt that old man they must know right like the fucking like qaddafi like we got
him somehow the security and he's are dead it's about maintaining presidential lifestyles like
it it's a kind of way to pay them and support their life forever is uh the Supreme Court
what's her name i'm gonna mispronounce her name
but I enjoy that Sotomayor is that is that it that sounds pretty good yeah she's she's super
anti-gun and then this week a carjacker a carjacker attacked her and her secret service agent
murdered him to death with a gun and it's like not for me don't you love that dude it would be
better still if her secret Service agent beat him with a
club.
He drew his sword in
the middle of the highway.
Little did the perp know
that he had an adamantium shield.
He's just like, the bullets are
dinging off. Little did the perp know
that Justice Sotomayor's
agent had already called a peaceful
social worker,
a 22-year-old girl
fresh out of college
to talk him down.
Hi, I hear there's some conflict
that needs resolving.
He's not answering.
He's gibbering a lot of things.
Gibbering.
No, it's just a random carjacker
apparently wasn't motivated
by anything political
that they said,
which I'm always like worried
about because the supreme court has become so politicized whether it's their own fault or not
you know i mean uh but it'd suck if someone from either side any of those guys got you should leave
those people alone i i don't know i like the this country's been real stable politically my whole
life and i kind of got used to that. I am a little
worried that Trump might
overindulge because
if he wants...
Imagine if one of the parties in power was really vindictive
towards the head guy
at the other party. Trump is guilty.
No one ever argues that
he's innocent. They always argue that they shouldn't.
They argue that he's immune.
They argue that anything. They always argue that they shouldn't they argue i mean they were doing anything they'll argue that the timing is funky that he's immune to prosecute they never say he
didn't did it i mean i'm sure if you look into any real estate magnate you can find stuff but
like they were hitting him for shit like oh mar-a-lago is only worth 18 million my ass it's
he tripled the size of his apartment the thing was like 10 000 square
feet he claimed it was over 30 000 fish he's counting the roof would he that still wouldn't
do it uh build a couple levels up there a little patio hanging off the side what's your problem
get creative i don't i just don't see like i don't care about him lying on a real even the bank he
purportedly lied to did lie to you know because he did make that care about him lying on a real... Even the bank he purportedly lied to did lie to,
because he did make that up.
Do you care about the sexual assault
where he pinned that woman up against the wall
and finger-banged her?
Yeah, there's a lot of discrepancies.
You're talking about the woman
who went on CNN with Anderson Cooper
and they had to cut the interview short
because she talked about how it was sexy,
and she was clearly not fully with it.
That woman.
The woman whose story mirrored that of a csi episode who posted on facebook that she was
a fan of trump's years after reporting the same story since long before that csi episode she's
been telling it since the beginning she told her family her friends etc she's been she like cried to her mom and her
best friends about what happened to her uh there's freaking she people testify from the
from the department store that it happened like it happened i it's they've thrown so much shit at him
that and so much of it has not stuck that my default is almost now like oh of course they're
throwing more nonsense at him.
Like that.
Oh,
they tried this 13 year old thing right before the election.
And then that fell to ashes.
You see that girl's testimony.
It's on YouTube.
It is compelling.
Yeah.
And then like they started going at her and she said,
fuck it.
It's not worth it.
Why am I going after Trump?
Like she has everything to lose and nothing to gain.
They,
they have,
I'm sure there's a lot to gain but it doesn't matter in that as a viewer of it they have lied and made so much shit up you haven't seen now i have no it's false okay no
no i was saying that this is the same story they rolled out right before the 2016 election
and then it became nothing immediately afterward you remember that right where they were like this
is 2005 this testimony like i don't think it's from right before the 16th no it was rolled out 2016 election and then it became nothing immediately after you remember that right where they were like this is
2005 this testimony like I don't think it's from right before the 16 Oh, it was rolled out as a big news story like the final last gasp to try and ruin him
I remember that so not again right now. Yeah, it was relevant as he becomes relevant
And then his interview with Howard Stern is like getting attraction again
Where he said that he liked to go behind stage at the Miss Teen USA pageant
because he's inspecting it.
You should hear his audio. He's obviously
creeping about it. Or the time he was
on the escalator when he talked to that 10-year-old
girl and said she'd be dating him in 10 years.
This is creepy.
That's a fun joke. I like the 10-year-old joke.
Yeah, that's weird.
That's a self-deprecating joke if you if you think like trump though
he's he's saying like you know that that's what i do is i yeah generous interpretation of hitting
well nobody thinks 10 year olds are hot even even his if you leave the epstein oh come on he wasn't
asking epstein for 10 year olds it's documented what do you like the 13 14 all right all right you know i can't win them all
i think there's 15 or 20 million killed they've done so
i say 30 30 million
yeah like and i could be wrong about all of it he could have done all of it
but at this point they've spent almost a 10 year period making personality aspect of trump like no one
made up that he said you can grab women by the pussy that's his audio no one made up this thing
like no one made up the flight logs of him being on epstein's plane no one made all logs of him
going back and forth to epstein this shit isn't made up it's it's factually evidence. What happened is they released the Epstein court documents recently,
which is putting it in the news again. Let's do the Billy Bush thing. When you
heard him say, you could just grab him by the pussy and they let you do it.
When he did that whole speech, and this also comes down to
a not uncharitable interpretation from your part. I agree that
the 10-year-old comment is pretty fucking creepy,
but that was clearly a dude trying to seem cool and like,
Oh yeah,
I'm a billionaire.
I fuck all the time.
Women love me.
They know me.
I'm Trump.
I got,
I got hotels.
Look at me.
Like he was bloviating and talking big and they pretended as though that was
him being like,
yeah,
I'm a serial criminal.
I'm out there grabbing people and they say, stop.
And then I go, no.
I thought that's what he did. I think he actually
goes around and maybe not as regularly,
but he's grabbed a few.
You know what I mean? You know how you do something
three times and you're like, bro, trust me, I'm
all the time doing backflips. And your head,
you're like, I made the last two.
The thing that invalidates Taylor's
argument, well, Taylor asked me a question so the thing that
about when they deposed him for the eugene carroll thing and said hey this thing that says here that
you can just grab women by the pussies because you're a star and he's like well you know
historically they do let you do that that's true you might not like it you maybe will but yeah you
can do that so like was he bloviating and pumping his own tires yeah and
possibly that'd be a charitable interpretation but not a wild one but then when they deposed him
and he doubled down it's sort of hard to look at it as a this is just a guy he did say they let you
do it but yeah i'm i'm really not saying that his let him do it is the problem
I'm saying it lends towards who this man is
oh yeah
this is what I dislike about Trump
a lot is that he's clearly a
creep in a lot of ways but they
have made up so much shit
that now
we'll see what happens with the Epstein thing
if they come out and you see real deal
shit with that... What did you think about Joe Biden's
daughter's diary?
I
can't recall the details of it. I remember
it being not so great.
I'm kind of lucky he molested her.
Forced her to shower with him.
I can't argue. I don't know the details.
The media has made this
world where... There's a good chance
both of our retarded old presidential candidates
that 70% of America would rather have someone different in both slots if they could.
It's a very good chance that both of them,
like I'm a little young,
that both of them do.
And there's so much...
Look, If 10%
of what both of them are accused of
is true, they are awful
human beings.
They shouldn't be running a fucking Dairy Queen.
It's wild that this
is what we have. It's wild.
I would really prefer neither of these people.
No shit.
You! I pick you over Trump.
I pick you over Biden. I pick you over Biden.
I could never win with my history on the show. But Taylor, if you were trying to help the Democrats win, who would you put in Biden's place?
Gavin Newsom. He's like a conventionally attractive guy. He's clearly smart. He's with it. He's young. He knows how to speak which is important he can be charismatic
i think that he would beat trump on the stage like unless he if he went down and like started
getting in like a a battle it wouldn't do because he he would want to avoid trump's domain which is
like the the throwing shit back and forth and like having an having a reality show style argument up
there because trump's going to win that against any of these politicians. But if he kind of had like a high handed, like I'm not engaging with this
sort of thing, that's not what we're here to do. Like that sort of response to it. I think he'd
win. And so I'm sticking with my prediction that if the Democrats really wanted to win,
they'd get Gavin Newsom. Like most of the people who are voting for Biden are similar to the people
voting for Trump. They don't actually like the guy a ton.
And so if there was an alternative who was palatable,
the Democrats wouldn't lose anyone by switching from Biden to Newsom.
I don't know if there's a Democrat in Ohio
that's like, I was all in on Biden,
but now, I don't know.
It just seems like a common sense move.
Yeah, I don't like all the sex stuff with Trump and the potential
that there are those underage girls at all. Can we
separate the crime from the artist, though, the way we do with Kevin Spacey
and so many other beloved... Michael Jackson.
Can we just look at everything else and pretend like that didn't happen
and then I can still really like Trump? You know what? I and pretend like that didn't happen and then i can still really like trump it's annoying you know what i don't like that yeah it's funny you said that because
i was i haven't been able to articulate this thought i've had that a lot of people who
are pro trump aren't really pro that man they're just absolutely fed up with the most unlikable
parts of the blue team right the most unlikable parts of the blue team, right? The most unlikable parts of the blue team, like affirmative action,
right? You know, like, oh, we need to pass over these guys and then pick these guys instead based
on their skin color. But we're virtuous when we do it. We're not like, we don't do it the way you
do. Or I don't know, some of the gender stuff. Like the trans kids thing. I'm like, am I going
to vote for the party that wants to trans kids? Or am I going to vote for the party that doesn't
like that? Oh, that's pretty obvious. That's pretty pretty clear i hear you i hear you um or um i don't even think it's real
but the critical race theory thing that they were saying was in the virginia schools that helped him
win the governorship uh whatever that is that like the the blue team is not messaging that right and
in some cases not doing it right and if they could just remove the
most unlikable parts of themselves they do way better in elections that's true yeah i i my
prediction is trump is going to win enough of the black vote the hispanic vote that he's going to
end the muslim vote up specifically up in the rust belt that he's going to wipe the floor with Biden. He's not going to win the Muslim vote.
He's as pro-Israel as he comes.
I don't think he has to win it.
I think he has to win more of it than he should.
Or they could just stay home.
They could stay home.
There's big counties up there that matter
apparently, where these
small pockets of people can
weigh heavily on the national stage. To your point,
it really matters when it's that close. When it's that close,
every vote counts. It's about who has the most roads
to victory, the combinations of states and such.
I think Trump's going to win in a landslide if I had to bet
right now. Man, I think Trump's going to win in a landslide if I had to bet right now. Um, and man, I, I, I specifically remember saying they should stop bullying the guy who's
got a coin flip to be the most powerful man in the world in six or nine months or whatever
it was.
It's like, what are y'all doing?
Do you think you're really going to put him in prison so he can't be the president?
Like, like, is that your goal here?
Then like, let this wait till after the election i
never thought that any of this would happen the legal stuff troubles for him not because i didn't
think he was guilty of some shit or or needed to go to court over his shit but that it seemed
against like like democracy to like stir that shit up in the year of his presidential bid,
when he's leading.
When he's leading.
He's the most likely next president,
and we're going to draw him up on these crimes.
It's not capital murder.
It's not something that needs our attention.
He's not a danger to society.
It's crimes.
It's felonies.
In the case of the business fraud stuff yeah election interference business fraud stuff that's i agree it's it's not violent uh
the rapey stuff i like seeing tried yeah if it if it ever gets tried you know besides the the
sex assault with carol jean or whatever her name what i believe um eugene carol eugene carol okay like obviously
that one did that seems like a lot of them there's a lot of he said she said and i never know what to
think about that with a politician especially somebody like trump who is so hated all he said
she said i just remember the juicy smollett situation where you had that instance of here's someone who genuinely just went
outside and made a
conspiracy about the other team
and not only that he race
baited he homophobe
homophobe homobaited
he went he was
he's gay Jesse Smiley yeah oh yeah
he you know these two MAGA
hat wearing white guys had come up and this
is Trump country.
They're in Chicago.
They should have added the fucking
mirrored sunglasses even though it was night time.
Yeah, they had put a noose around
his neck and poured bleach
on him, which I didn't understand
the significance of pouring bleach on a black
person at first. I don't understand why
that is. You're bleaching them white. You're erasing
their race.
If that worked. You're bleaching them white. You're erasing their race. If that worked.
Not literally,
but symbolically.
I think that's something they actually
do in Korea or something.
They bleach their skin.
I think it's also
like a porn
category.
It's white dudes banging
black chicks.
That's a porn category well that's a lot more innocent than the opposite i was picturing some dangerous bdsm
with no no no which one's less racist blacked or bleached no like like the man black or the
woman black i don't know which one i mean if nobody's being racist and
neither of them are racist you never know but uh in any case like like you had that example
there with that guy who just was like i'm gonna go make some shit up i'm gonna go at you know what
i'm gonna hire these two african motherfuckers i've been fucking and i'm gonna have them help me
make some shit up and it was like man
why are you just coming up with all these lies and like when it gets found out it looks so bad
for the other team because the right can be like you see this is how they are this is how they
always are this at a whole cloth none of any none of anything he it was all a performance
a fabrication a studio audience should have been there to applaud.
It doesn't look good when then you had,
no, no, no, really though.
It's the boy who cried wolf when you come back to him
and you're like, no, for real.
We have videos.
We have P tapes.
But forget about that Hunter Biden laptop thing.
That was the other one when you had all those officials
saying that it was Russian propaganda.
It's like, man, we came back with receipts though and y'all were lying and it you know it looks bad
it does so so then when you come back at me and you're like i don't know he raped a bunch of
little kids i'm like fuck man you're like oh for two on the on the big ones that actually came
went somewhere did he rape them kids because i hate that if he did. You can't support.
It's hard to laugh at the comedian who rapes people.
I'll keep going forever.
It's not impossible.
But are we done with politics?
I have a different topic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're done with it any time.
All right.
So here's my question.
I saw it on an AskReddit type thing, a variation of it.
Let's pretend in this world you're never on the hook for child support or like parenting responsibilities oh would you like to have dozens and dozens of kids out there
is that a thing that's like kind of cool to spread yours to be johnny apple seed over there and
yes and and just from a vanity standpoint,
if I'm being honest.
What else could it be?
Because you must think so much of
your genetics that you're like,
we got to spread this far and wide.
This is like when they got watermelons
to stop being pieces of shit.
Too many people
don't have facial blindness recognizing each other he's gotta stop they're like dad i'm one of your 30 kids for the last time
yeah but but like um you'd have to excuse all that other stuff right i don't want to have to
talk to him or anything.
Right, right.
Yeah, of course, very few people actually want dozens of kids and the responsibility that goes with it.
But just to – do I have a breeding king?
Because I think that'd be kind of cool.
It would be kind of cool.
Like be a miniature Genghis Khan.
Be like, yeah, I got a bunch of kids out there.
One of them is going to do something good, and then I'll just ignore the bad ones.
So you're on the train too, Taylor.
Provided there were no responsibilities, you'd think it'd be cool to have a bunch of mini-Taylors out there.
How about this is the scenario.
I want the team of kids.
Because I want kids to spend their life too.
Imagine you live in a small town, Taylor and uh you you impregnate every single
one of the local moms and they all have kids at the same time and you're the coach of the high
school hockey team and you and you're the whole team is your kids this is a little sitcom i've
been working on for oh i'd like that i'd like that a lot of kids be on the bench you know i'd only
take the a team i'd take the kids from like the tallest women and i'd show
them the most favor give them the most training that'd be fun it would be weird having a kid out
there that like you had no connection to at all though i don't think i would like that at all
i know somebody this is from years ago but do you guys remember i told it on the show
uh some friends of mine or acquaintances really that are lesbians like asked if they could if i
would give them sperm give them your seed because they wanted kids and i did you fuck them both just
to be sure no no they it wasn't they're not they want to sample right you're the one who wants to baby they were more like
Roseanne lesbians
they started the question
they started the talk with Sandra was like
you know Taylor you just look so much like me
I thought
a little less patient there
but yeah
they wanted a sample
they wanted me to consider
giving them sperm so they could have a kid
and immediately
I was disgusted by that.
I was like, what?
You can't have my boy. No!
First of all, some legal
bullshit's going to come down the pike nine years
from now and I'm going to be paying you
for a kid that I didn't even have a part in raising.
You're going to trans
my son and make me pay for it?
You know?
That's not what I'm looking for.
And also,
it'd be
so fucking weird to know
you have a kid out there and just
have nothing to do with
the kid, you know?
Just knowing your son sons out there your daughter
and they have no connection at all to their biological it's weird to you now because you
haven't normalized it 10 12 kids in you get used to it you would yeah it's probably like bugs where
eventually it's like i need to be you know transitively banging up even more lesbians
that would be a good sitcom. Imagine that... Let's see.
Maybe
the main character,
his father was a fertility doctor
and on his father's deathbed,
he confesses that he's done this to the whole town
and that he realizes
that all the kids in town
are his brothers and sisters.
You know that story from some guy
in Mark?
Oh yeah yeah it's
happened mark like he made it like his whole career he was like haha everybody else has been
showing up jacking off in a cup and i've been pouring it down the garbage disposal and i've
been getting all pregnant i mean he is a doctor yeah but not like a real one i mean he's a
fertility doctor it seems like he's got beakers and fucking...
He's not even that.
He's just giving his own cum to women.
No, he's like their doctor.
He's a PhD.
He's a PhD.
I mean, it's pretty fucking good.
I mean, some work layers out there.
You know what I mean?
Like, not everybody's a PhD, Taylor.
I'm sorry.
Well, this guy, like if...
I bet if your lesbian friends
could choose between your seed or a
PhD seed, they probably...
I don't know. No, they'd want the
internet guy.
They'd be like, we really want our son to be able
to do a marginal Indian guy impression.
Oh, well, you've come to the right place.
You've come.
There was an X-Files episode where that was happening in a town, and they were just discovering it because the kids were being born with tails.
There's one doctor with a tail who's like, it's got everyone baffled.
I can't get past the idea of these.
He was a janitor or something.
He was sneaking in.
I'm stuck on the thought that these lesbians scissor all the time.
They saw Taylor do the splits, and now they want his seed.
That's true.
Those girls will scissor.
They saw.
They were banging out the splits at their birthday party that one time,
and they were like, whoa, this guy, we need his cum.
Let's ask him and put him in an uncomfortable position.
When I first heard you say do the splits,
I was like, it's do a split he says it funny
and then i realized a split is like south jersey only like it's a very small like south jersey
philly and the rest of the country says it your way no i think in the south we say do a split too
do you oh sometimes it's hard for me to i don't't know, like remember how I say it. Because I go back and forth depending on who I'm talking to with things like caramel or whatever.
Yeah.
Caramel is if I'm like trying to, you know, flavor it up, fancy it up.
Otherwise, it's just caramel.
I say caramel.
Like that's my default, I think.
Because I just did.
I would probably say caramel because I'm not as, I guess, as high-handed as you.
La-di-da.
Yeah.
I think you're the one being high-handed. Caramel because I'm not as high-handed as you. La-di-da. I think you're the one
being high-handed. Caramel?
It's fancier than Caramel.
Open your mouth and enunciate Caramel.
I did a Google image search.
Which one is the best sounding word? Caramel
or Caramel?
Man, I would love a Carmelo right now.
I did a Google image search on
the split versus a split, hoping
to find a US map.s map and all i did
is unlock a new kink this is pretty good yeah you guys got to play by my rules though as a
midwesterner you know we're the we're the ones with the most common vernacular that everyone
gets no matter where you live in the country you're're going to take some... Isn't it Pittsburgh where they say
yinz guys instead
of you guys?
Are you sure it's not yinz?
Like Y-I-N-Z.
I've heard yus. My father-in-law
used to say yus.
Yus. Don't like that.
Yus is already plural.
All of you.
But anyway.
I haven't watched The Weatherman in so goddamn damn long i just realized like i just if i want the weather i you know pull up the
doppler radar and look at what's going on because i ask siri most of the time yeah right like like
the last time i saw weatherman it was on the dirty side of youtube, and it was Mexican weather girls. Weather men need to go by the wayside.
You can only be so useless for so long.
There's no point.
All the apps do it for you, and it's faster.
Well, who do you think does the apps?
Meteorologists.
We don't need one for every channel, though.
So you're saying the TV personality needs to go,
not so much that the profession needs to go.
Yeah, the TV guy.
Like there's no point in wasting time on even giving that guy a second of screen time.
You know what I learned?
The weather forecasting accuracy is wildly different in different parts of the country.
Like in Florida, they nail it like eight days out.
They get it right all the time.
Where Kyle and I are, it's pretty good. Like four to seven days, like out they get it right all the time where kyle and i are it's pretty good like
four to seven days like they usually get it where taylor is beyond two to three days and it's kind
of a crap shoot and i didn't know maybe that's why i have such a bad yeah image of weathermen
because maybe it's just the midwest things we have weird weather here with all the they say
it's very hard to call yeah they're wrong all the time They'll be like 88 and sunny on Saturday, playing a cookout,
and then it's the kind of downpour where I'm like losing electricity.
And it's like, how could you get it this wrong?
That's like if I was like,
oh, this year's Stanley Cup winner
is going to be the Milwaukee Bucks.
It's got to be.
There's a lot of convergence of pressure zones and stuff there.
There's a lot of hot air and cold air mixing there. have all the air all the kinds of air ask anyone i know about all the
different types of air whereas all the weather system all the weather systems in georgia for
example come from south um west of us um from the gulf of mexico often if it's anything big
when hurricanes hit us that's sort of
in quotes hit us in Atlanta.
It'll be these huge waves and bands
of rain that come from the Gulf.
You see it coming for days and days
in advance.
Zach's about to show that map.
Hopefully the link works
and it's all working well.
It should.
I'm going to mute that. Shit. Mute that.
We should move fewer steps.
I really dig the Mexican weather girls, though.
Oh, I thought Mexican weather girls.
No, no.
But you see, like, Florida, seven days out, no more than two here in, like, the Missouri-Kansas area.
And where we are, it's three to four.
I forget what I said, but.
Yeah.
That's a huge area where they're not getting more than two days out.
Nobody lives there, though.
Chicago and St. Louis and...
Never heard of them.
Minneapolis.
I've been to Oklahoma, Taylor.
There's dozens of people there that are listening right now.
There's more Buttigieg supporters than there are people in northern oklahoma
and that's not many
milwaukee minnesota and now we'll never know the dakotas we have a city between them
bismarck the bustling metropolis of bismarck what is the biggest city in the dakotas like
i know mount rushmore's in south dakota is that the... Fargo. I was guessing Bismarck because that's the capital of...
We'll never know.
I couldn't care less.
Let's spend a few...
I'm looking for Mexican weather girls.
Oh, yeah.
Well, they always have good weather.
And so it's just like a reaffirmation that they live in a nice climate,
that they get to watch the weather every day.
And it's really just about watching a hot lady. So good for them. It's a good a reaffirmation that they live in a nice climate, that they get to watch the weather every day. And it's really just about watching a hot lady.
So good for them.
It's a good part of their culture.
Yeah.
France versus Mexico.
Show that, Zach.
Oh, France?
I would have thought France would be all about something sexy.
Their weather's always shitty, right?
Yeah, that's why even more so.
And there's a lot of hot women in France.
I think.
It's Sioux Falls.
Oh my god.
What is this nonsense?
France.
That makes you want to move down to
Mexico just to watch
the weather grow.
Is she a 10?
Her body is near perfect.
We can't really see, but she's shaped
cartoon-like.
I've seen everything I need to see. Her face could be... body is is is near for we can't really see but like she's shaped cartoon like she's also everything
i need to see that is her face could be she she could she could not have a nose like skeletal
there's nothing in which the face doesn't matter if she turns around and i see you looking back at
me it's it's still a 10 the reason she can't be a 10 the reason she can't be a 10 is like now
imagine she has a twin sister who has just like better nails and stayed out of the sun a little more.
Now you fucked up.
So in your world, there can only be one 10.
No.
It's that there can be no 10s.
Okay.
I thought I was extreme.
So you're doing it unlike an earthquake.
Wow. Your theory is crumbling before our eyes.
That's just all two tens.
Look,
near perfection,
but again, you're wanting to define
this as perfection.
You look like one of those people that
talked about Megan Fox's thumbnail.
You can't even see her.
You wouldn't say she's a ten? She's right here.
Look, Megan Fox's thumbs are why she's not a 10.
She can be whatever you want her
to be, but come on. Thumbs,
if you were changing her character
around in a video game, you'd probably
trim those back a little.
You would never notice her thumbs.
You would because I already just told
you about them. Now you know, and now you have
Megan Fox, you're going to trim them
goddamn thumbs trim
her thumbs yes so like just clip them like create a class this is magic god damn it aren't you
following along i'm there's a fantasy happening right now i don't think a weird thumb is enough
to knock a woman down from a 10 to a 9 well then we have a very different rating system 10 what is this this is a hot ass chick
but again not a 10 like like i don't know like i can't see half of her face like like again
gorgeous beautiful nearing perfection i don't like her face how she has that like resting frown
yeah oh that's the weather girl huh just a weird face then her body turned out to be perfect i think amaranth is your story more than a fucking weather girl um i i'm an amaranth fan
boy so i would have to say she's like a eight and a half or something like that she's she's like
super high up there to sort of you just don't see many like perfect from head to toe in every way.
Human beings on the rating scale.
I I'm somewhere in between,
right?
Some people would argue that 10% of people are tens,
right?
And,
but that's a lot.
It should be a bell curve,
but I think that the top 0.1% of people can be tens.
And what is that?
1%?
No 0.1 is one in a thousand. So% of people can be 10s. And what is that? 1%? No, 0.1.
It's 1 in 1,000. So if I go
to the shopping mall
and get 1,000 people there, I should find
a single 10.
And this weather girl qualifies.
She would be that person. I think Woody's assessment
is accurate. I think it's fair
and balanced. No, it's figure skating rules.
You know, like, what if you see something better?
What if they spun one more time up there?
How's that a 10? What if she made it a quadruple axle?
Doesn't figure skating only go
up to six?
I don't know. I don't think
that's accurate. I've never actually watched it.
I've just seen that
one woman whose name
is escaping me. Nancy Kerrigan?
Nancy Kerrigan. I've just seen all that
stuff. I watched the Olympics because they're often very pretty, and they're wearing very little, and they're name is escaping me nancy carrigan nancy carrigan we're just seeing all that stuff i watched uh i
watched the olympics because they're often very pretty and and they're wearing very little and
they're athletic and it's cool and when they fall it's kind of dramatic you know you can imagine
yourself with them because they're they're skating with a gay guy the highest score figure skating
is a six kyle's a tough judge he's gonna see that weather girl and be like ah 5.8 yes this yeah you're
talking about you know asymptotically approaching a 10 but never quite reaching it you didn't eat
vegetables until five years ago i'm not i'm not taking no i wasn't missing out on much
oh peas are so fucking good get out of here okay you pick one of the worst vegetables they're
good with rice and too much butter i probably had bell peppers in my fajitas at some point you know
did you gag you're like
just eating like an 11 year old until your early 30s is the funniest bit
yeah yay dino nuggies you're 31 all right now to do that i wouldn't do that like i never like
processed foods like overly processed there's like a second category of processed foods i can't
remember what it's like super processed or something hyper processed stuff like dino
nuggets where they've like liquefied some sort of paste of meats and then they've mixed it with
with some other chemicals preservatives and and flavorings and then they've mixed it with with some other chemicals preservatives and and flavorings
and then they've formed it and made it appear to have been fried and it's a little smiley face like
that shit is scary that to me is like soylent green level like i don't want to put that in
my body i mean i like and i eat hot dogs hot dogs are good like I feel like if you get the good hot dogs,
especially the more expensive kind,
then they're not grinding up pig assholes,
presumably, and putting them in there,
which I prefer.
Do you consider bratwurst to be a higher quality hot dog like I do?
Depends on what mood I'm in.
Sometimes I prefer the nice all-beef hot dog,
but I like brats a lot as well.
A nice spicy brat.
It's its own little category. It's almost like going to a corn dog. Those And I spicy brat. It's its own little thing, like category.
It's almost like going to a corn dog.
Those things are so big.
They always have a snap.
Maybe I'm a hot dog size queen.
And I really just sounds like a brats.
Yeah,
we all.
I mean,
I want a big old beefy brat or a big beefy hot dog.
And it's got to be.
I go to someone's house and they try and serve me a chicken and turkey
and pork mix hot dog.
Hands will be thrown.
He was telling me
it's got to be so girthy that it hurts a little.
All the way out.
And the way in.
Yeah, I don't like that.
I like the
skinny hot dogs and preferably
they split them down the middle
and and like grill them until they're almost blackened i mean that's something like that
if you're at a barbecue or whatever aren't you a little happier when you're like bro they got the
big giant ballpark franks i'd genuinely be a little like bummed out if that's when i say
ballpark drinks i don't want someone to misconstrue what I said and think I'm talking about the ballpark brand
because there are many better brands.
I just mean the style, like the big hot dog.
I don't care for those. I like the skinnier
one that is really steamed
or boiled hot dogs.
I boil them in some seasoning
and spices and stuff like that.
I don't like any snap at all.
I don't want a real intestine hot dog.
I want a caseless hot dog. Oh, no. I'm down like any snap at all. I don't want a real intestine hot dog. I want a caseless hot dog.
Oh, no.
I'm down with the snap.
So you probably don't like brats much at all because they've all got a snap.
They all do.
And I like chicken sausages.
There used to be this chicken sausage stand I'd go to.
Fucking delicious.
They'd be full of jalapenos and cheese and all sorts of nonsense.
Really good.
I'm not that big on cheese in my brats.
Whatever I want to add to my brat, I can do after it's done.
I can throw some onions on there.
I can throw some sauerkraut.
Sauerkraut's the S tier, number one topping you can put on a brat.
But I don't need cheese in it.
I don't need jalapenos in it.
If I want jalapenos, I'll slice up raw jalapeno and put it on i don't need jalapenos in it if i want jalapenos i'll slice
up raw jalapeno and put it on there or pickle yeah i don't i don't like this big gigantic thing
and i don't like bratwurst at all i just don't like how it tastes you're just not you're just
that's not very western and not very american of you i'd be it's it's german bratwurst well
they are western i was about to push back yeah they're kind of german right that's western
there's a lot how do we get
brats here a bunch of fucking germans came they're always chewy like i'm just i'm imagining
eating one right now and i'm imagining chewing for way too long on this like case of this thing
and it's like chewy for me it's the heat like oftentimes a brat is burning hot on the inside
like not spicy but like the temperature is still boiling
for way too long yeah and i've i've been punished for that yeah you're not alone take a bite off it
immediately and you're like well my mouth is already burned i may as well continue eating
taylor has a phd
he's not a medical doctor.
Just burn your birds.
I already got you.
What can you do?
Oh, yeah.
Woody, have you gotten into Game of Thrones yet?
House of Dragon?
Yes, I should be current.
What are you thinking about the season so far?
What's your overall kind of feel for the way things are going?
I don't love it, but I don't hate it.
I guess you could say I like it.
I think that
it's been a little predictable and a little slow moving the last episode if you're current on the
one have you dragon fight okay yeah you're current um i wasn't gonna spoil that much but yeah there's
a dragon fight so it is consequential and prior this, it almost seemed like everything was like, I don't give a fuck about this happening to that person or this dialogue.
Or, oh, did you try to talk and didn't really come to a conclusion on your talking?
What am I doing?
Why am I watching this plot that doesn't advance until recently?
So spoilers, because I want to talk about kind of the whole season and my feel for it
okay thus far because it's bad um it's not all right bad is strong so so bad is a strong word
this is clearly a show that's costing probably 10 million plus an episode to make um those wigs
usually look pretty fucking good you know everybody's got a wig on like everybody's got a wig on yeah um but man they've done some
weird shit what at one point they just break into the red keep you know the main castle in king's
landing taylor where like the royal family lives suddenly all it takes to get in there and kill
the prince in his infant bed is for a rat catcher to take you in a secret way. They just walk
in one of the water outlets,
like the sewer outlets, and they make
the right turn or two and
go up a ladder, and wouldn't you know it,
there's a secret latch that opens
up into a different
prince's fucking bedroom.
My lord, we've been telling you to address the secret latch
for a long time now.
Nobody's on guard with that. have the same problem with that.
No one's on guard with me, that's true.
But a rat catcher might have unfettered access to a castle.
I told you this show was going to punish you guys.
You think that wouldn't be some bum off the street who could walk right into the prince's bedroom?
That's crazy to me.
This show is going to tease you guys even earlier in the series than Game of Thrones.
Dude, they killed the infant prince in his bed.
Cut his head off.
Are you sure it's the prince?
I'm not 100% sure.
Really?
My mind's open to the idea
that they're lying to us.
They're lying.
There was a little ambiguity, I suppose.
There's a prince and a princess, Taylor,
sitting next to each other in cribs
or small beds
whatever they're like yeah they both have long hair and they're both wearing white sleeping gowns
and they're like which one's the boy paraphrased and the mom is like uh that one and they kill
without checking and i'm like what is this fucking plot hole you're here and then afterwards they're like oh they killed my boy and i'm like i if they
said hey spoiler that was the girl that they killed i wouldn't be shocked what kind of bullshit
they don't just wipe out both kids they're they're there to kill they're not even that they didn't
they weren't supposed to kill that kid that kid wasn't even the one they were they were there for
like an adult.
It's that Martin Lawrence quote from Bad Boys.
Do you remember Bad Boys 1 when Martin Lawrence,
his daughter's boyfriend comes in?
I'm here to take out... Shut up!
He goes, I'm here to take out Denise.
And he goes, how fucking old are you?
Dude looks old.
He's like, 15? 15? Ninja, you look 30.
And then he says that classic line. He goes, yeah, well, I'm a bad boy too.
Do you remember that?
No.
There's a character like that in the show.
I think that the prince with the eye patch
is supposed to be like 16 or some shit.
He looks 30.
And he looks scary 30 yeah it there's been a lot of weird writing like that and a lot of pitter pattering around and a lot of shit i don't care
about and god damn it it's it's not been a good show i didn't the dragon fight was fine you know
i thought their cgi was fine i wasn't like blown away by it but i wasn't let down by it you don't want to show
like game of thrones like game of thrones was not good because it had good cgi in the early seasons
it was good because the characters were compelling and it was well written it was interesting the
dialogue was good like all the best scenes were like little finger and fucking varys and whoever you know all the articulate characters
like talking
shit or
commiserating over a plot
like that's what made it good
and so if they're leaning too heavy on dragon fights
like that's just
we're like six or seven episodes
in and there's been one fight in the last episode
it's
are you going to stick with it or are you
like yeah it's too big of a thing not to like finish up and see what they're doing are you
finding a plot moving too slowly i know you're more tolerant of slow plots than me i've been
watching it week to week as well um i guess that like big things happen every episode like like
the first episode there's an assassination and first episode, there's an assassination,
and the second episode, there's an assassination.
I can't remember what happened every episode,
but then there was the dragon fight in the most recent episode.
I feel like usually there's a big enough thing that goes down,
but there are these slow, dreary scenes
with side characters I don't care about.
I'm usually really good about this.
There was a point where I was almost encyclopedic about Game of Thrones and the lineages. scenes with side characters I don't care about. I'm usually really good about this.
There was a point where I was almost encyclopedic about Game of Thrones
and the lineages. No, no, no. That's a different Robert.
With this show, there's so many
mixed race kids that
I can't tell who's
who.
It's like, oh shit, that's his daughter?
What the fuck?
They skipped forward in time a little bit.
And so people had like another generation.
And it's like, oh my God, that's not his mother.
That's his grandmother.
Like, holy shit.
Like the king's grandmother is the pretty brown haired girl.
You know, it's like the green lady.
Al said mixed race, but like in Game of Thrones,
even the hair color like represents the family, right? So this is the green lady. Al said mixed race, but in Game of Thrones, even the hair
color represents the family, right?
So this is the strong family. They're all brunettes.
This is the Targaryens. They're all
blonde. And then you see some brunette kids come
from the blondes, and that's
practically mixed race in this
universe. No, I'm talking about all the
half black, half white children.
Okay. To me,
they all mix up.
And I'm like, you're supposed to be able to tell the family lines by the hair color,
but there's so much interplay.
Everybody's blonde.
Everybody's fucking bleach blonde, except for three guys who are all brown haired.
And we all act like... I love that we're still pretending that one kid isn't a bastard.
I know we never told you, but Jesus Christ.
It's like The Jer with steve martin
there's this old movie where steve martin is an orphan raised by a country bumpkin black family
and they have to tell him when he's like steve martin's age
but he's not black and like because like they're all like jamming out play like playing music and
singing he can't keep a beat.
He's like White Cracker, Honky White.
He's jazz listening.
He's been 50 since he was 30.
Yes.
Yeah, he's going to stop aging.
Good for him.
Yeah, good for him.
I hope he never does.
But he aged 50 years in 30 of them.
He just went all white really early.
He got that out of the way.
Some of us like to upload our gray hair and just get it out of the way. Some of us have to upload our gray hair and it's just
out of the way. You know what happened to him?
It all went white at once.
Did he get scared? No.
I was like, over time.
It was over time.
It was like normal
human beings.
He didn't see God like Moses or anything.
That does happen
and and i'd love to hear like the the scientific reason i'm sure there is one for why that happens
that way and i don't quite understand what happens does let's say you have this traumatic event is
what i'm talking about or this this this wild thing that happens to you and then your hair
turns white does that mean that like your hair can't change color with the hair that's already out like it doesn't mean that
that like you're now on it's going to be white right it starts growing out white from then on
is like my interpretation but the bible kind of makes it sound like moses was like bleached
maybe maybe it made it sound like those two two Nigerians came out of nowhere with some bottles of bleach and like dumped them all over Moses.
It could have happened.
You can't disprove that.
This is Jehovah country.
This is Jehovah country.
It's like, please don't bleach my hair.
And they bleached him.
They bleached him and they stole his Subway sandwich.
They locked that guy up.
He was screaming when they drug him away.
It was very satisfying. How long is is he in i don't remember it was is he out now i don't know i i i i watched the sentencing and him making like a big like screaming thing like and uh and
then that's the last i heard of juicy smollierier. Juicy Smollier. Let's see. Are you in jail or prison, I guess?
In 20...
No.
The fuck?
How is...
Where is...
How is this not like the main thing in his Wikipedia page?
But yeah, I'm disappointed with the show.
I kind of went into it knowing I was going to be disappointed
because even if that show were like
lights out, you know, like if it
was like the second coming of Game of Thrones,
there's that taint
that's in 50%
of the episodes of the show, we harken
back to the Song of Ice and Fire
verbatim. They'd say it literally.
Remember this? The prince that was promised.
Remember the prince that was promised in the secret
of the Song of Ice and Fire
that Aegon the Conqueror had?
It's very, very important.
And I'm like, no, it's fucking not.
No, it's fucking not.
I know more than any of you.
I promise you it's not.
I was so obsessed with why it was.
I had my own theories.
Oh, and it wasn't.
That fat retard is never going to finish those books.
No.
Who cares?
Who cares if he finishes them?
I would want to know what happens because I read all finish those books. Who cares? Who cares if he finishes them? I would want to know what happens
because I read all the other books.
I thought it was going to match what happened in the show.
No. There's no way it would
because... He said it would.
I think he gave them the outcomes and they showed
how to get there.
But that's just me.
Maybe I'm wrong about that. We don't fucking
know. Here's what I know for sure.
Here's what's true though. He saw the fan
reaction. He will not duplicate
it. Even if that was the plan, he'll be like,
I never told them that. They're
communist liars, and they rape
children. Have you seen the Epstein files?
He'll say that,
and then he'll say, here's my cool ending.
See, Daenerys draws the
print. What I needed was
John.
Let me say what I made up last week when I was having this exact same rant
for everyone in my house.
I needed
Bran to use his
time-space manipulation
to send Jon Snow back
in time. And that
whole prophecy, or
the old legend about the guy who
drew the sword from his wife's heart and then it had the power to to like do the
magic that what that's about John in the past and we and then the me and we he
goes back in time and does that thing and he realizes he sees himself do it
and he has to like kill Daener. He has to kill Daenerys,
pull the magic sword out of her,
and then he kills the Night King.
But not in that episode,
not in the first episode of the battle.
We need the Night King to have pushed
all the way down to the Riverlands
or to King's Landing itself,
to somewhere dramatic.
The Riverlands would be cool.
You could see maybe they freeze the river.
There's that big river crossing, right,
that the Walder Frey controls.
We're all waiting there for the Night King,
but he freezes the fucking river,
and the whole river turns solid,
so now they can approach more broadly.
And we think, oh no, they didn't realize
he could just freeze the river.
But they did know.
You see Deus Ex Machina dragons coming from each side,
like melting them in the water,
and they're all dying in the...
It wasn't water, it was oil.
Like, I needed some cool shit to happen.
And they couldn't fucking muster it.
That green fiery shit.
Yeah, give me some of that cool brain.
You know what I wanted?
Bran has the ability to go back and forth in time, give me some of that cool brain. You know what I wanted? Bran has the ability
to go back and forth in time seemingly.
He is everything and everybody. Yeah.
Why wasn't Bran
the crippled kid, Bran the builder
who built the Great Wall? That would have been sick.
That would have been good. That would have made
sense. That would have been fun. Maybe.
And here's the thing, Woody, but you need to tie
back into the future. So you have Bran go back
to when he was Bran the Builder and
when he placed the magic fucking weapon
or the key or the symbol in the
base of the wall and sealed it
in. Bran goes, dig.
They just start digging
and they pull out a fucking magic
glowing super samurai
axe or some shit that's made out of a
dragon's head. Who will win with the dragon's
head?
John Smith. John Ford. axe or some shit that's made out of a dragon's head who will win the dragon's head and john steps john smith john ford john snow steps forward and like wields the dragon head sword or whatever
the fuck i needed some cool shit to happen and they couldn't muster it because they were so
money hungry they wanted out of their locked in episodic pay at hbo and to get that star wars
teat money and then star wars said fuck fuck you. Your fan base abandoned you.
Abandoned you. And then they made
Third Body Problem, which I think is
mediocre and probably get another season.
Do you think it's possible that
George R.R. Martin pulled a Stephen
King and even he
at this point really doesn't
have a way to wrap it up?
Yes.
He's 75.
I think he retired and didn't tell us.
He could be president. What are you talking about?
He is so much...
He's fatter than Chris Christie.
What?
Unless he's lost a lot of weight.
He's got that pumpkin body style.
A real fucking...
He's like a
November 20th pumpkin. He's rotten. He's like a November 20th pumpkin.
He's rotten.
He's got that bleached
like never saw the sun part on the
bottom.
Before we go back to making fun of fat people,
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now is that medical advice no of course it isn't of course it isn't no i gotta say it takes like
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think of the savings, you know? I did that for like a 13 month period until it was like, I can't keep up with my own dick pill regimen. I'm still sitting on, I'll turn it back on when I run out,
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And Bart's like,
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Shut up, boy.
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And then didn't some,
didn't we get like 150 and donations to the,
uh,
to whatever
nonsense i made up yeah some people donated money to what was it the victims of dr disrespect yes
and woody was like i'm a victim and so i guess thank you guys for your donations to woody the
victim of dr disrespect yes technically i'm actually feeling a little victimized i know
you are too kyle so we keep those donations rolling do you feel like a little victimized. I know you are too, Kyle. Keep those donations rolling.
Do you feel like one-third victimized
as much as...
I feel an even-third
victimized.
Would you put it that way?
Exactly.
I feel 30%
victimized by this.
30% victimized sounds right.
Yeah, that sounds right.
Anyway, buy our merch. It's cool stuff stuff over there i need to get some hats i want i want i
want some dog clothes too i would like dog clothes like biden finished his press conference
what's the reaction on the i so i read two things anyway ap and cnbc I was trying for less biased.
Apparently, he flubbed one answer and he called
Kamala
Vice President Trump.
Outside of that, it was mostly forceful
and what he was trying to do.
Is this where he
called
Zelensky Putin?
That was a different thing, Taylor.
That was a different thing.
called uh zielinski putin that was a different thing too really good no not now if we found out that that's what was going on this whole time that's
going to be their biggest season ever if the biden presidency the last few months have been
an episode of practical jokers it's like welcome to the 26th season of practical jokers
the biden presidency that's right we've been hot we've hit the three of us have been the
pranksters behind some of the most humiliating degrading and debasing hacks you've ever seen
a president shows you like mer behind the scenes like say you're the first black female president
i want you to read out his paws.
Ice cream all over your face.
And I want this verbatim,
Joe. Your legs.
In the summertime
when the sun bleached
my legs. And the hairs.
They get blonde. Very blonde.
And the children in the pool.
And he's like,
do I have to please
please no dude he's gonna he's gonna wrap up his presidency he's gonna take a mask off it's
gonna be daniel day lewis he's gonna say it was the most challenging role he's ever played they
focus on the leg thing because but at that exact moment i mean like the next sentence
he he says he's used to he's got all these black children
jumping in his lap and he says i'm used to cockroaches like i'm so close to exactly what
he said it was bizarre it seemed like he was talking about cock black people being cockroaches
or children and i mean he's it's a photo op like piece anyway. He's surrounded by black children.
I mean, they're hanging off of him.
What is...
That's horrific.
All right, that's horrific.
My president.
I hate that so much.
God, when you mix them together.
You notice the skin tone actually got lighter, though.
Probably.
Yo, Trump's in war mode.
He's got his war paint on these days.
He's gone for that burnt orange.
He's dark.
When they let shadows cast on him, he's starting to look very intense.
It's like a football player or something.
You just don't understand bodybuilding.
This is how we get ready before the big show.
Dude, he's glistening the last time i
saw him he was very dark and he's and he's got a new hair guy he's got a wartime hair guy you know
he's got that day-to-day hair person which might be him and like like you know but then like when
when it's when it's game day he's got that wartime guy who gets him looking right. I heard Melania's at the most recent thing,
making an appearance after a while.
So that's a good sign for the marriage,
if any of you were concerned.
I wasn't concerned,
but I also would believe a thousand percent,
and it's always been my assumption,
that Trump was a do-his-own-hair style billionaire.
Like there's no way that there's a hired person like every morning
doing that and making it look as often silly as it looks there's just no way he it's got to be him
doing that thing where he's pushing it over and he's like fooling him again donald and then he
i think it is i think it is that i i think he's got a guy but what i'm saying is he's got a wartime
guy like like more recently it's like he's got a guy, but what I'm saying is he's got a wartime guy. Like, like more recently,
it's like,
he's got a different look about him.
Last time I saw a picture of him again,
very burnt orange Auburn almost.
And,
uh,
and the hair was like the university,
like they're,
yeah,
like their colors,
like,
like,
like burnt orange,
um,
looking intense.
I saw a picture of Joe,
a little orange dump.
I saw that was the, the little oranged up. That was the
laugh of the conservative meme
subreddit was
there was this meme
six months ago or something was when it was first
posted and the idea was
that Biden was going to start copying Trump
and it was a cartoonized Biden
all oranged up and then they're like
from fiction to
fact boys look at this and it's Biden all oranged up in that they're like from fiction to fact boys look at this and it's biden all
oranged up in that uh stephanopoulos interview and it's like holy shit they put the bronzer on
him i mean they they were they were his bronzer looks way better than trump's to be fair they
he's got a professional somebody did a good job the raccoon eyes where you could tell
it was the same person that did the makeup on guardians of the galaxy i heard came in yeah george clooney's guy came in there george clooney turning his back on uh biden is wild
some of the stuff that uh he said in that thing where like let's see he goes on i'm a lifelong
democrat no apologies i'm the big one of the biggest fundraisers and then he names all of
his accomplishments pats himself on the back for a while.
And he goes,
but the one battle he cannot win is the fight against time.
None of us can.
It's devastating to say,
but the Joe Biden I was with three weeks ago at the fundraiser was not the Joe big fucking deal Biden of 2010.
He wasn't even the Joe Biden of 2020.
He was the same man we all witnessed at the debate.
Was he tired? Yeah. A cold? Maybe. But our party leaders need to stop telling us that 51 million people didn't see what
we just saw. And he goes on and on about Trump and blah, blah, blah. But that's the meat and
potatoes of it, if you ask me. And it's like, this is his biggest fundraiser. This is the guy who
would love for Joe Biden to do well. If he cares about anything, it's avoiding, this is his biggest fundraiser. This is the guy who would love for Joe Biden to do well.
Like if he cares about anything, it's avoiding what I keep talking about,
which is Trump's America.
It's the Supreme Court, the entire Congress,
and Trump being in charge right after you just told him
that he's immune from anything he does.
And then you prosecuted him before that.
It's like you're at, it feels like they were poking the bear.
When this was down the line, when like you didn't have to kiss his poke they were poking the bear when when this was down the
line when like you didn't have to kiss his ass you didn't have to be dishonest i feel like they
antagonized him i really hope trump doesn't ruin america next year i don't think he will but he
won't but you could see why he quite a more vindictive person than we hope he is might
it's easy to say like ah ah, nothing's going to happen.
It never does until it does.
Like I remember when I was at the time you guys were both pro-choice and I was like,
Trump's pro-life and you're both like, that won't change.
That won't change at all.
They always say that and they never get it done.
But then it got done.
The idea that if Trump wanted to stay in office his next january
6th would be successful isn't wild to me i i don't see that happening like january 7th
the big sequel everyone's been anticipating yeah i i think it'll be similar to the first time where big promises,
big guarantees,
and then not a lot.
I remember how much he struggled the last time.
Like his staff turnover was like legendary.
It seemed like he was constantly losing his chief of staff,
his chief of defense,
like,
like top level secretaries.
Next time he won't be such a rookie and he'll hire people who help him get
done what he aspires to get done, who won't second guess him.
There was like almost a, I don't know, a shadowy wall in there that the adults in the room that kept Trump from doing silly things.
That won't be the case next time around.
Yeah.
I mean, they also like impeded stuff that was popular with his base, like building a wall, just as the most basic example.
I would argue the Democrats did not did that.
Not his chief of staff.
They definitely contributed to it.
Like they.
No, no.
I was saying the Democrats contribute like they want hard against.
They literally did it.
Now, on the other hand, Trump fucked that up because he could have had it.
But he's like, no, I don't want your infrastructure and I don't want your wall money unless
you also call off the special
investigator Mueller and they're like
I'm going to do that too and he's like well
then no deal nothing so he got nothing
yeah he got his tax cuts passed and
he did a bunch of stuff and that's it
and that's see that's what like
makes me kind of
like all the hysteria about like
he's going gonna be a fucking
hitler whatever it's like i was watching the 20s i was watching the 2016 republican primary debates
and uh it was when they had the full stage up there you know like nine or twelve candidates
or something wild like that trump was front and center that they they sort of based on your
polling that's how they arranged you and they asked about that Iranian general, Soleimani, or something like that.
Again, primary days.
Trump's like, I take care of that problem.
He's like, that's all you want to say?
Traditionally, this person's been considered off-limits,
and yet we believe he's a sponsor of terrorism.
He travels around the world, trains terrorists on how to attack the united states
what would you do and he's like i take care of that problem you don't want to expand on that
you don't have anything else to say on that and then it like the video cuts to when he's president
and he's making the press conference he's like tonight we killed the iranian rogue general
so the mind like a dog well this is the guy that they hit with that Predator missile that has no explosives in it.
It's just got blades. It's just got
giant swords that come out of each side.
And so they shot it.
It's so fucking cool.
They slice
and dice the person. Just one guy
like fucking Lockheed Martin.
They're like,
what is...
It's gonna get used is it's gonna get used
just another couple million
blades
there's plenty sharp it's not working
why ninja stars
dude
fucking cool man
I watched blade last night you're gonna love this
watch this
all your favorite television characters
can you show us that missile?
It's definitely a pet project.
It's like a Hellfire missile or something like that.
It's got a sword missile or a bladed missile or a bladed assassination missile.
Dude, if I'm going for a high-stakes assassination, I am not putting my eggs in the blade bomb basket.
I'm going traditional bomb.
I don't think it's failed yet. Well, basket. I'm going traditional bomb.
Well, okay. One for one
maybe. Have we cut
anybody else up?
There was another ISIS guy or something that was
on his balcony. I think we sliced and diced him
too. Look at this shit.
Are the blades even necessary?
If you take the blades off that thing
We need a different picture. Find one that shows
an image of it, not an animated...
I pictured it opening in midair and all the ninja stars spreading out across the ground.
No, it's more like a hunter's arrow that has blades that stick out all around a central point.
How big is this?
I don't know.
I don't know how long the blades are or anything.
I was picturing it being like the size of a whole person.
Yeah, it is.
I pictured it way longer, like 30 feet long.
Oh, you mean you don't have to even put a payload on a 30-foot one
and just ram that into somebody.
They're dead.
Maybe the aftermath?
There we go.
Oh, find the aftermath.
That'll show.
Hopefully it won't be a little blurry.
That might be a little gory I don't know
make sure it's not gory
use your judgment don't show me like
Suleimani's brains or anything or whatever that guy's name was
Sotomayor
yeah
I'm just talking with you
yeah and this guy's
standing behind it he's trying to make it look cool
and bigger I bet it's not
I bet it's not.
I bet it's a standard seven foot.
Are you shit talking?
Our cool ass ninja missile that cuts people into little pieces, Taylor?
Look at that American hero over there
somewhere getting ready to...
It is pretty cool. I bet Russia doesn't have one of these.
Oh, you know they don't have one of those.
No.
China's looking at it all jealous.
They're going to steal it and make a shitty one.
They hate it when we take it.
I remember a story about Xi Ping being mad about Kung Fu Panda.
Like, what the fuck?
We missed this?
I thought that movie was enormous in China.
That's the point.
It's an American-made movie about a Kung Fu Panda.
Two very Chinese attributes.
It'd be like if you made a
Chinese movie called Baseball Cowboy.
And it made
$2 billion.
And it was just a bunch of guys.
Oh, I'm a baseball cowboy.
I'm Johnny Basebar.
We'd be like,
what the fuck? What did we do? You you know but we made kung fu panda and jack
black honey cowboy it's all fallen in love with two of their most uh significant cultural uh
iconic things you know i would love if china made a movie called baseball cowboy and it killed here
they like have a tenuous grasp of the rules of the game.
I'm here, Rod, a dinger.
I'm chunky, and I hit diggers.
I'm chunky, and I hit diggers. Like that fat, chunky Italian kid.
Yeah, Big Al.
How big out I hit diggers.
He's almost Biden-esque there.
But yeah, I think we need, if anything, more cool bladed bombs.
Yeah, I like it.
You told me on this, Kyle.
I like all that stuff that uses depleted uranium and tungsten carbide.
Like all that armor penetrating shit is so scary.
Use that far, far away.
We do.
We use it in Ukraine.
We scatter the fields with it a lot of complaints from some people quote unquote about them getting cancer quote unquote
who's to say they're not also faking um these cancer concerns like like like like boogie
over there bunch of boogies over there that don't like the depleted uranium rounds. You're a breadbasket of Europe here in Ukraine.
You are irradiating soil.
Get over it.
Maybe I like bad guys sometimes, but I can't get over him faking cancer for two years.
No, I don't hate him for it.
I just think it's wild.
You know, the biggest clue is that he didn't lose weight.
He got a little puffy.
Maybe it's from the chemo.
You know what they say, starve a cold, feed cancer.
No, I have to take my medicine
with an entire cake.
That's what the talk is.
Every day, I have to take medicine
four times a day.
We haven't had it.
Those are Ike and Mike's. Those aren't pills.
That IV's full of Kool-Aid,
you son of a bitch.
He's got an IV.
Yeah.
That is wildly faked cancer
for two full years.
I mean,
man.
You know what I would love to have the top ten? If he came back, I would have full years. I mean, man.
You know what I would love to have the top 10?
If you came back, I would have the top
10 things I got from
faking cancer. The first thing.
Parking, whenever I want. This handicap
placard? Completely fake.
Alright?
I wish you'd go through the top 10 benefits of faking
cancer and why it's really chill.
I'd throw that video a like.
I'd help out his ratio.
In contract negotiations, I just hold my chest and make a pained face.
And then it just goes my way.
But given my build, I have to clarify this is cancer.
That's what this is happening right now.
My vague chest
cancer.
It doesn't seem like he actually has it though.
This young, skinny, hot girlfriend of
mine, she thinks she has an inheritance
coming her way.
I wonder what her deal is.
Look,
if that's what she's into, but
my only concern is that one photo.
She looked scared and sleep-deprived.
Which photo?
The photo of them together that Zach showed earlier.
Oh, I guess I wasn't looking at her.
Yeah, roll that back up, Zach. Why not?
I mean, I just feel like she looked...
It is an odd relationship to view.
It's like, what's going on here?
She looked a little sleepy, and she looked a little out of sorts.
And you know, it's an interesting statistic that there are almost no homeless women.
Boogie's looking his best in this shot.
Yeah, is this AI? What the fuck's happening here?
Is his hair actively falling out of his face like
look at his shirt i just have a lot of cats a lot of cats huh there's something ai about this
almost the the skin texture i don't know what but it's mostly like the boogie's hair i'm looking at
okay i i don't i don't i i don't like this i don't like it either let's never don't ever
zach don't you ever i don't know how dare you zach how would you do that he's gonna put it
right back don't bring it on that's a thumbnail
thumbnail boogie on there well i mean it's big news and i said i was a cancer my horoscope
you guys just took that ball and ran with it i was afraid of backlash what if he gets
eighty thousand dollars for proving his horoscope is cancer that would be funny it's like oh this
motherfucker he's a fucking pisces he lied about this is that when you find out what is what his
sign is because i'm sure it's available information on
Wiki, like what his birth date is.
If it is cancer. Taylor and I are Tauruses.
Are we both Tauruses?
We're both Tauruses. She was
three years old when he started YouTube.
Ooh, don't like that one.
Don't
like that. Well, hang on.
When did he start?
Was it 1992 when he started
no 2006 oh shit because if it'd been 92 this wouldn't be awful would it
it wouldn't be nearly as uh as ghoulish it'd be about right how long have they been dating
hopefully briefly plenty of time plenty of time we don't need to look into the boogie's relationship here
which is clearly about love and and uh and not a fraudulent nonsense like his like his cancer
i'm sure his girlfriend is a very sweet lady i know no no no nothing negative no shade her way
none at all shade her way maybe i at all. No shade her way.
Maybe I wonder if she knew that he didn't have cancer.
You know what I mean?
Like, I bet he lied to her, too.
You'd want to keep everybody in the dark, I guess.
You're running that big of a.
I imagine she'd be pretty pissed.
Anyone in a relationship would be livid if you found out after two years they're like that cancer thing.
Because you make me a sandwich.
My cancer is flaring up real bad.
They said
you have to suck my cancer out through
my dick.
She was 20 when they announced
that they were together.
So basically he's just
kind of a fat Leo.
Ooh, yeah.
He's a Leonardo DiCaprio.
Yeah, a Leonardo DiGiorno. He's literally ooh yeah he's a leonardo dicaprio yeah a leonardo di giorno
he's literally that meme of a handsome guy leaning into the cubicle versus the
the chubsy guy leaning into the cubicle and a completely different reaction you know
yeah leonardo dicaprio does it everyone's like le, Leo, keep on keeping on, champ. Enjoy the yacht.
Boogie does it. HR, please.
I wish he hadn't
faked cancer. That's so lame, man.
That is really lame.
It's hard for me to wrap my head around
faking cancer, I guess.
You know? Because it seems like a
shitty thing to do. If anything,
my brain would like talk me
to a place where i was like wait a minute if there is some sort of charity or goodwill out there for
someone who has cancer how dare i take it when it's not mine to take like someone might need that
goodwill or charity to lift them up and you had cancer well yeah but i had bullshit cancer that we we solved with a painful
surgery like some he said he had like blood cancer like like i don't know much about blood cancer but
it don't sound good sounds like it's everywhere yeah it's like you're all i'm full blood would
like that's what i'm made of for the most part it seems like every time i get poked it starts
that's what comes out yeah behind'm mostly blood. He checks out.
Jesus Christ, there's so much of it in me.
If that were to go bad, that doesn't sound good.
Thankfully for his health,
it seems to have been a big old fib.
His blood, although
sweet, is fine.
It's like a ragu sauce.
It's too many red blood cells and way too sweet it's a ragu
sauce you could you'd be three bites into the pancakes covered in them before you're like this
is a little a little metallic isn't it you wouldn't have read away that sausage is kind
of irony is that liver oh well i man if he proves he has cancer,
a lot of people are going to look horrible.
We'll have a 10-minute video we upload called,
We're sorry.
Sorry.
It's like the fucking South Park. I really would be sorry.
But it seems like everybody's pretty zeroed in that this was nonsense.
Yeah.
It does seem that way.
You could just prove it.
He's a bad guy on YouTube.
Right? He's a heel now.
This isn't even going to hurt his career.
You can't kill the Hulk with radiation.
Oh, now they know Boogie's not
Mr. Rogers? That's been known for a decade.
No, you can't.
Can you? I don't think you can kill the Hulk with anything, though.
Yeah, you can. You just cut his head off while he's not hulk he regrows it doesn't work he's like there's a
whole comic book story where he's like the last thing alive like the whole earth has died and
he's the last thing and he's tried to kill himself before like bruce banner would shoot himself in
the head and the hulk would spit out the bullet like he can't he's been like fried down to nothing
and he just regenerates like like he can't kill himself he can't die so he's head off
are there two hulks i don't know which end it grows from but i'm sure a comic has you know
let us know which end the the if the head he probably just pops the head back on or he grows
the new body to the head or maybe a new head to the body. I don't know which. But one of those happens.
Well, then you learn something new every day about the superhero world.
Yeah, I know you're very invested in it. You hate it the way a 65-year-old Christian mother hates Dungeons & Dragons.
You're so opposed to it.
You're like, ah, superheroes, eh?
I know all about them.
I know all about the superheroes.
It's a bunch of gay nonsense. Don't need it.
Yeah, it's more just that
if it wasn't around every corner for the past
decade and a half, no, two decades at this
point, it wouldn't be that.
And also, I don't...
It's just not for me.
It's not the genre I'm interested in.
I think that Woody and I are just as done with it as you are. It's just not for me. It's not the genre I'm interested in. I think that Woody and I are just as done with it as you are.
It's just that we appreciate the little gems that they make maybe once a year,
like the Guardians of the Galaxies.
I really thought the second Suicide Squad movie,
the one that had John Cena in it and Idris Elba, was tremendous.
That was a really
good movie and um i like this tv show yeah um his tv show um what's it called peacemaker peacemaker
very good season two's coming finally it's been like three or four years or something
but uh finally they're making season two that shit's funny like that's genuinely good comedy
and it it doesn't it's i mean there's superhero
shit going on but he's like the donald trump of superheroes like like there's a scene where
he like gets out of prison and goes back to his trailer and he's just penniless and friendless
and he's laying in bed sobbing like like suddenly the mask of douchebaggery drops and he just sobs
into his hands like a child and then his like stupid
sidekick catches him are you crying he's like no i'm doing special face exercises so my fucking
face is nice and jacked like this not some pussy femboy look like you've got you maybe if you did
by hitting it like later on but psyche's like hey would you teach me those super cool facial exercises you were doing
and he's like yeah man yeah you're gonna want to openly weep three by five five days a week
when we first get introduced to the peacemaker character i didn't know him through the movies
and such uh he's a little bit hurt so they give him an x-ray and he's looking at the x-ray and he's like ah can you take a new x-ray it looks
like i just fake was focused on my major muscle groups and i really work the supporting muscle
groups too you turn the contrast or something like yeah he's uh that's a good show i look
forward to more of that and i think the boys has gotten worse every season. And it's to the point now where if this is how the first season was,
I'd be like, it's another one of those shows.
I think that Jensen Eccles, is that his name?
His character, Soldier Boy, made that season pretty good too.
It was on his back.
It was on his back, and I agree with you he he's really good i i
enjoyed him i enjoyed his character he he was a new fucking thing and i i kind of like the fish
out of water man out of time um aspect of it of him being weirded out by race relations and gays
and and everything and yet he was power was like de-supering the other people he'd unsoup guys
and it's like oh shucks he might make some real noise around here if he can take away people's
superpowers i'm sure they bring him back either at the end of this or you know maybe next season
like bringing back the other supernatural guy and they're going to be on together
i thought so because they already had and you know um
negan he's also in supernatural he's their father in the show so he's all three of them would be uh
have sort of been in the show um yeah i don't know that one's letting me down lately i don't
think much of the boys i'm going to keep watching it but and i'm not yet hate watching it the way i
was hate watching from toward the end where i was genuinely watching
it going fuck you fuck you that's stupid oh a new plot twist oh now there's a oh great fuck
i can still watch the boys and be and just kind of snort every now and then when
i don't know they do something that's just not my cup of tea i guess like i don't know i can take it i think
this whole the when they killed off martin freeman's character or whatever his name is
um stewie's dad oh yeah like a plot line that why do we even have this whole thread why was any of
this like it just happened it doesn't really advance the story at all it's just another
trauma for stewie i suppose and what the introduction
is just a way of
yeah is it Huey? I'm saying Stewie
yeah
stupid fucking name
yeah
you know his father was supposed to be cast
in that role
if you look at the cartoon
it looks exactly like the character that plays
his father and it was like this.
It just took so long to make the boys out of the role.
What's that guy's name?
It's Simon Pegg.
I'm glad you knew it.
Yeah.
From,
yeah,
Simon Pegg.
So yeah,
the dead,
we waited on you to,
to go back to superhero talk.
We,
yeah,
we didn't,
we knew you wouldn't miss it.
We were talking to hockey while you were gone.
Oh, thank you.
Four minutes, let's go.
Tell me all about the wasp.
Oh, I hate
the wasp. So the wasp,
it's a hot character, but she's like
the Ant-Man's
sidekick. Formerly hot.
Yeah, Ant-Man and the wasp.
Yeah, it's a terrible movie. I watched
it on an airplane one time.
What was the biggest twist
wherever you were like, what was the time
watching the Marvel Cinematic Universe the most
where you're like, oh my god,
are these superheroes gonna pull
it out over the bad guy?
I mean, they lost in the second
to last movie. They lost the first Avengers
movie. They lost. In my last movie. They lost the first Avengers movie.
They lost.
In my last movie, half the characters died or got ruined.
Iron Man dies.
Burnt alive.
Steve. Good.
Captain America turns like 100 years old.
Yeah.
Who else?
Oh, Scarlet Witch.
Witch.
No, no, no.
Scarlet Witch.
Who plays Black Widow.
Black Widow. Thank you.
That's what I'm going for. Black Widow dies.
Scarlet Witch's brother died.
Yeah, a lot of people fucking died.
People as important as Scarlet Witch's brother?
Christopher
Witch.
He was a CPA. I don't think you're right, but you are funny. he would have been very helpful in the fight against thanos okay so you know taylor so is
what you know okay you know you'd have been gone in the snap you wouldn't even you just woke up
and been all lazy like what's the problem problem? I don't watch superhero movies.
I don't care about that stuff.
He doesn't know who died, but we did briefly mention it was Scarlet Witch's brother.
Scarlet Witch's brother.
A whole bunch of them.
Vision died.
Vision died.
Yes, Vision was the main character.
He was important.
Now who's, now what's, what's Vision up to?
What's his power?
He's not up to anything. He's dead. He had a, uh, one of the infinity stones in his forehead and he was important now who's now what's what's vision up to what's his power he's not up to anything he's dead he had a uh one of the infinity stones in his forehead he was very powerful
oh i've seen the gif of him where thanos is like you are my bitch and steals it i like that right
yeah it's like thanos is on the side other than you know yeah i've just gone over this
up and down side to side. Thanos could have just
doubled the amount of planets
and
he was
unnecessarily cruel. Could have done anything.
We're not doing this again.
We'll pull the plug on this now.
This is my version of the eagles flying
to Mordor.
I'm just saying you're bigoted against the superhero
genre. It's not a genre.
I am a superhero racist.
And that means you miss out on a few hidden gems that the rest of us get to enjoy.
And it's upsetting because you get left behind in our pop culture conversations the same way you haven't seen Terminator fucking two.
I will get to it.
Oh, God.
I watched the director's commentary the other day without the video on.
I love it so much.
I love it so much.
You won't watch it.
Yes.
Dentist. Haircut.
Terminator 2.
Terminator 2.
You saw Terminator 1.
No. I watched the first 10 minutes of it
and then I got tired that night and I went to bed
and I didn't pick it back up. was almost two years ago not even a good person
clearly not wild man that's wild we had that idea for a movie podcast where every week
you watch a movie and every week I don't get around to it
I come in I come in really up I'm like did you see long legs it was crazy i'm
sure you saw it we that was the movie we picked this week what did you think of nicholas cage's
performance you're like man you know some stuff came up uh what was it about even he should fake
it yeah yes yes i would i'd have to lie about it until you catch the line i'm like dude i don't
know i don't even think spiders are that big a deal.
And you're like, long legs isn't about spiders, Taylor.
And I'm like, that's up to interpretation, really.
Oh, you're saying the subtext.
The subtext.
Yeah, that is there.
The webs, okay, and the way people are interconnected.
Taylor, you really saw a lot in this film that just got past me.
A huge amount.
That scene where Nicolas Cage looked confused and he went oh what what were we doing here i remember do you remember
that part and then i i do recall that part yes that was key that was integral yeah yeah i kind
of like this idea where i watched the movie intently and come in passionately and you
pretend like you have actually it would almost be funnier if
the audience didn't know which of us
had actually seen the movie.
But it's always you.
Alright, this week's vote
is who saw the movie.
I win every week.
I would just be so angry.
This sounds like a lot of work for me and none for you.
Yeah, I just sit on the call for an hour
and I'm like, that sounds fucking gay.
You've got to see Terminator 2.
It's very good.
It's Arnold's best movie, maybe.
It might be Arnold's best movie.
What was the one where he ran around the city
trying to fight?
That's also excellent.
Kindergarten Cop.
Yeah, Kindergarten Cop is great. I remember I saw it as a kid.
What?
It's not his best movie. He roughs up
an old man in a parking lot
and then he jacks around and teaches kids
coloring and shit for two hours.
What's the one where he's running around trying to be like,
where can I find the Mega Man
action figure for my son?
Yeah, that's Jingle All The Way.
I liked that as a kid.
That's garbage.
I was like nine.
What's the one where they sort of break the fourth wall about him being an action hero?
Last Action Hero.
Yeah, that one was pretty fun.
It was the downfall of his career.
Really?
Yes.
Instead of downfall, he's still big? Yes. He said a downfall?
He's still big.
He would be if he wasn't.
I don't think this is the sort of thing that you follow.
That was the downfall of his career.
It was all downhill from there.
It never...
His peak was just before that.
That was his first bomb of a bomb.
And everything was like a step down after that after that you
get movies you get more you get movies like a racer um movies like um the sixth day um
the these lower budget crappier not poorly written nothing but callbacks to this the good part of his
career um you know lots of i'll be backs and like you know lots of callbacks to this the good part of his career um you know lots of i'll be backs and
like you know lots of callbacks to like characters that have nothing to do with what he's doing in
those movies and it's been downhill ever since you know every now and then obviously he has a big
he comes back to does another terminator or whatever but he's made some little movies like
maggie um and he's done some like smaller, but his career never recovered from Last Action Hero.
Is that why he had to be a governor?
I was trying to prove Kyle wrong by looking up The Last Action Hero because I think I have a fond memory for it because I was just like the perfect demo for that.
I was probably a 13-year-old boy or something when it dropped, and I'm like, accolades?
Oh, this film
was nominated for six
golden raspberry
awards worst picture
worst actor worst director
worst screenplay worst new star
and worst original song
all right
swept the rad
it didn't even win any raspberries which somehow feels worse
true lies i gotta take my l true lies was a few years before that i think like if i'm just
guessing but like maybe around 92 i think last action hero was like 94 maybe um 95 some somewhere
in there um but last act um true lies is very good that's that's his in his
like top top tier it james cameron made the movie you've got jamie lee curtis just being a badass
being funny being sexy and tom arnold being actually good comedic relief and a fun story
where at the end arnold commandeers a Harrier jet, flies it
to the city, and then beats up
a terrorist on the wing.
Then the terrorist ends up falling and getting
his belt loop stuck around one of the missiles.
So Arnold says,
You're fired!
And he launches him just into
a skyscraper in the city.
To an innocent
building of people?
It looked like maybe it was under construction
or something like that. No, no, no.
Here's what he did. I remember it perfectly now.
God, this is great. He launches it.
It goes through the skyscraper
that's under construction and it hits
all the other terrorists who are in
a helicopter on the other side.
They see their boss flying at
them tied to a missile and they're all
like and then they all explode together remember that strong belt that's a good fucking movie true
lies there's a part jamie lee curtis is trying to help him because she's only now found out her
husband is like james bond essentially with a looking bench 350 and she's drops the machine
gun she's coming to help him fight all these guys and she drops the machine gun. She's coming to help him fight all
these guys and she drops the machine gun and it's
just falling down the stairs going off on its
own, but it's killing all the
bad guys. So it's a fun
little movie. It's good.
He doesn't make many.
Oh, that
rubs me raw.
It kills me that
Taylor won't watch these good movies
but he liked Mandy
Mandy's a good movie
By the way, this Long Legs movie is a horror film
that's in theaters right now
and I haven't watched the trailer
I feel like it's going to spoil too much
but I think it's a monster movie
and they have Nicolas Cage somehow playing the monster
in a costume and a lot of makeup
or something.
And supposedly it's very scary.
I'm really looking forward to watching it when it's available.
Once again, my dumb ass Googled Mandy in an effort to prove Kyle wrong.
Rotten Tomatoes is like 93 percent.
Metacritic is like 80 something percent.
The world agrees with you guys.
Yeah, I liked Mandy.
It was good.
I think you got to be in the right.
It's like
your uh your drugs you know you gotta be setting high okay yeah i was thinking with true lies too
i was like i wonder if this movie's as good as kyle remembers it or if kyle was just the perfect
demo when he saw it oh it could be a little bit of both i also i also have just a ton ton of
nostalgia and like guilty pleasure kind of thing for ar where I know he's not a good actor.
He's sort of doing his shtick, though.
And I appreciate it.
And I appreciate like his physicality in those roles.
And I like the little gags.
There's one at the very beginning of Commando.
He's out cutting a tree down for no good reason.
I think he's going to chop it into firewood.
But he cuts down a mammoth
tree with a chainsaw. And then
he carries it on his shoulder back to
his house. And it looks like it weighs...
Obviously, it's a fake tree. But it would weigh
a thousand pounds. And he's got it
nonchalantly on one shoulder. This tree
is so big. It's like the kind of tree that you can barely
hug around. And he's got it on his
shoulder, walking around with it. It's one of those movies where there's a part where the It's like the kind of tree that you can barely hug around. And he's got it on his shoulder walking around with it.
It's one of those movies where there's a part
where the guy's like, what?
You could smell them? I did.
He smelled the bad guys coming and
ducked so the machine gun fire didn't hit him.
That's a ridiculous
move. That's like the best
schlocky action thing he's ever done because
the premise is they kidnap his daughter
and they want him to go assassinate the president of Venezuela orenezuela or something and he's like fuck you and he just
starts killing all of them and they're on an island full of terrorists so he just invades and
first he goes to like a gun and ammo store and robs them blind and then he it's that gif you've
seen of arnold putting the knife in the in the in the sheep clipping the grenades on putting the fucking black face paint on that's commando he's about to go kill like 200 people is it completely
impossible that he carried this log or maybe that the log is impossible it's fake log i need to see
how big the log is i'm watching it now it's still a close-up of his face. He has big arms. Oh, yeah, no way.
Okay.
Yeah, I know for a fact.
Wood is so fucking heavy.
Yeah, especially like freshly sawn down,
full of water and staff wood, not dried out.
But no, I love Arnold.
I like those movies.
To me, the other action stars of the 80s pale in comparison.
You've got Stallone there,
but I feel like the movies that Stallone made the other action stars of the 80s pale in comparison you've got stallone there but i
feel like the movies that stallone made that were in the same style as arnold's weren't nearly as
good like there was rambo and then i think everything else was like second fiddle i did
like you're discounting rocky rocky's like a sports movie almost he's not like a tough guy
like i think of the machine gun.
He needs a machine gun or you're not in the genre.
Okay.
You need a machine gun
or you're not in the genre.
You're forgetting a lot of scenes from Rocky that he's really tough.
If you've seen...
Have you seen this movie, Taylor?
It's Rambo 2008.
It's the Rambo...
No, I haven't.
Fuck you!
You believed it?
I didn't believe it.
Dude.
Ask me again.
Rambo 2008 is
so fucking good.
I watched it this week.
This is obviously made in the year 2008. It's not part of the title. It's just how I'm distinguishing it because the name of the movie is So fucking good. I watched it this week.
Obviously, it was made in the year 2008. It's not part of the title.
It's just how I'm distinguishing it because the name of the movie is Rambo.
And it's old Rambo living
on the border of Myanmar,
and he's like a cobra wrangler.
He's just stayed over in Vietnam
since the last movie.
And he's gotten old, and he drives like a riverboat.
And these missionaries hire him
to take them into Myanmar where there's a war.
And the bad guy is a warlord with like an army.
And he's a pedophile.
He's like having sex.
He's like a boy's fucking warlord, pedophile, like Asian man.
team of, um,
like commandos that the church hires to go get their people back out after
they get kidnapped by the warlord,
eventually go in and like fight this Cambodian army of rapists.
It's very,
a lot of rape lately.
Our whole army of Cambodia.
They have like women and children in cages.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Damn.
Yeah.
And Rambo,
there's a part where Rambo cuts a man's head off with his machete and then assumes
that guy's position on a on a mounted 50 caliber machine gun and and it's behind the enemy you know
g ping yesterday you were five foot two cambodian and today you're six foot five austrian
he does it quickly he like chops the head and then he jumps on the gun and like click click
and he pans it down and shoots the driver,
and the driver turns to jelly.
And then he starts raking it across the whole army,
and every time he hits one of them, it's really exaggerated,
so they just get blown in half or their heads just completely explode.
It's a good time.
It's a fun movie.
It sounds fun.
You could go watch some Age of Empires tutorials or something like that
from 2012, though. That'd probably be more educational and shit. No, you wouldn't want to watch 2012. You'd go watch some age of empires tutorials or something like that from like 2012 though.
I'd probably be more educational and shit.
No,
you wouldn't want to watch 2012.
You'd want to watch old meta,
huh?
You don't,
you don't watch the classics anymore just for the,
the love of the game.
No,
I never know what hit him.
Taylor,
you can break out the old school rules.
Be like some boomer in a movie.
No,
doing that would be like,
be like,
yeah,
I'm going to watch,
uh,
Steve Willoughby swing his bat
in 1907 then i'm gonna mimic that in the major leagues like you you would you get smoked well
he had great mechanics you're a guy what was that movie where the only warship working needed to be
man by this geriatric or something oh that's a movie called battleship battleship yes he tell
you you can pull a battleship on them and they won't be expecting your 1947 age of empire tactics i'll try it try
it i'll get rolled i think action action adventure might be my overall least favorite genre of movie
like i don't have any time for it anymore like like i know what's going to happen so i i just
yeah it's a little too straightforward like i like psychological thrillers any
like horror is good but like a good thriller and it seems like that's the rarest kind of
movie to be done really well like silence of the lambs something like that that's
just fucking excellent there are i really appreciate good sci-fi like if they can build a world um that's
different somehow and they're even if they're doing like this small little mission it's contained in
this room or on this ship that's going to a place i really dig that um but yes psychological stuff
and horror anytime there's an actually good horror movie it's like today's a good day
yeah sure or or um the the conjuring i think is tremendous it's my it's probably my favorite like today's a good day. It's all one. Yeah, sure. Or, or,
um,
the,
the conjuring I think is tremendous.
It's my,
it's probably my favorite horror movie.
I mean,
I really like the exorcist,
but that's a 50 something year old movie or something.
Yeah.
My son just watched all the sauce.
Now,
every,
not every night,
six nights a week,
he watches a movie and he comes down and says,
dad, I watched a movie. And I say verb he says dad i watched a movie and i say verbatim you watched a movie how cool what movie did you watch he gives me the
title and then i say ah what year did that come out he tells me what year i might ask a question
about the genre or something and then i guess how long it is the thing is he's like what movie did
you watch saw what movie you watch saw two what watch? Saw 3. Now I'm catching on
to the pattern. So I'll look up in
advance how long Saw 4 is.
Is that one hour
33 minutes? That's right!
Oh my god! Who knew?
Well, it's not in the dark here.
89 minutes?
I really like that.
I'm not that good at this.
I thought that Barbarian movie was tremendous I like something that's got a twist
yeah that was good
the problem with Shyamalan movies is you know it's a Shyamalan movie
it's like he shouldn't use his name
in the promotion for films
like if you're going to be
this guy who
I'm thinking of something like The Village
where you went in like, what's the twist?
And instead of sitting back and
that's a hated movie.
The Village is a terrible movie.
Everybody seems to hate it, but if you look at the cast,
it's so good.
Day Common Con got like,
this is the next Night Shyamalan.
In that he made one great movie
and then petered off one i think you had that even
yeah signs and dead i see dead people help me the real title six cents oh yeah okay those are both
good so uh six cents was much better than signs i think i i i would rather say that i like them
both but i would rather watch signs than six cents if i was going to watch one though um because i i did that last week and i watched signs maybe two weeks ago now
um i i liked the i like i watched all of his movies i've watched lady in the water i watched
uh the village i watched i watched all of that i watched old i saw old and i saw fucking the
happening the happening was when i got let down. That was the one.
Because I was like, okay.
You had really cool trailers, I remember.
I don't really remember the order,
but if I had seen Lady in the Water,
I like Paul Giamatti's,
and it was kind of a little fairy tale
in an apartment building.
It was like, this is neat.
This is a fun little fun movie.
And then, what was the other one he did?
But when The Happ happening came out with mark
walberg and and that it was just garbage it's it's a genuinely trash movie there's no redeeming
qualities from that movie it's almost never scary until the very end when and it's not scary at the
end because of the happening which is spoiler for spoiler, for the worst Shyamalan movie ever,
the trees are releasing pollen or pheromones that send humans, that trigger something in human brains
that send us into this suicidal rage pattern.
And everybody just starts killing themselves out of nowhere in the most absurd, non-effective,
sometimes comical or juxtapositional ways.
You know, like people laying down in front of lawnmowers,
and the zookeeper just happened to have a lion handy,
so he's just feeding the lion his arm.
And that's what the promotional material was.
It was these people were going about their day,
maybe at an outdoor cafe or something,
just, ooh, Brian got into third grade honors, loo, loo, loo into third grade honors and then suddenly a body falls
and they're like oh my god someone jumped and then another one and then another another another
another another and because like tons of people are suiciding off the building and it's like whoa
what the fuck and then they show like some quick clips of the lawnmower mowing the guy or the lion
eating the person you're like what the fuck is this movie? It's trees.
It's trees making people silly, but don't worry.
It'll stop at the end when Mark Wahlberg's done.
Yeah.
Marky Mark's a terrible actor.
He's a terrible actor. Did you see him in his recent
Netflix show? I forget what it was called.
He played like an assassin whose family
didn't know he was an assassin.
No.
I watched it with jackie
it was fun but not good well isn't he in the other guys with yeah yeah that was that was a super funny
movie i like that too like he can do that he that's his best character because i think that
character is closer to like who he is just sort of a douchebaggy um funny kind of ish guy like i
think he's good in Ted.
I liked him in Ted a lot, and I liked him in the other guys.
I really like the other guys.
I think it's funny.
Yeah, the other guys are super funny.
Wait, that is the one where it starts where The Rock and Samuel L. Jackson
are like, aim for the bushes.
Aim for the bushes.
They just hit the concrete.
We don't know what they were thinking.
It was a 65-story building. Yeah. It was a 65 story building.
Yeah, that was a super good movie.
I remember getting some out loud laughs at that.
Yeah, where Will Ferrell's like shitty to his unbelievably hot wife.
Even just like, you come out here dressed like a plain Jane.
And when I've got company over and she's just a bombshell.
Kenny Powers did that too
Kyle you saw that movie
I saw all of it
he wanted her to like
I don't know we're going out
I want you to dress nice
she's in this glittery thing and she looks like a million bucks
and he's like
you know
you look okay but you dress like a
whore but she was dress like a whore.
But she was dressed like a whore.
You're misremembering.
She's dressed like white trash whore.
I saw it today, and that's my style.
I saw it today.
It is.
I mean, Amazon has everything.
She looks like a disco ball that I want to fuck.
Yes.
Yes.
No.
I need to watch the rest of that show i i watched like the whole
season and i thought it was very funny and then i must have like not had hbo after the first season
for a while because i never this is that's probably 10 years ago now it peters off a little bit um
but but i i think that his pathetic sidekick whatever that guy's name is yes the guy with the
the goofball who kind of talks funny.
He comes into his own. In season two,
he, it's either two or three,
Kenny flees to Mexico
and starts pitching in a Mexican
league and actually does okay.
And
but the other guy marries this
morbidly obese Mexican
woman and their
relationship is fucking hilarious. Oh, he also
gets cornrows, which is pretty funny
too. I think they both get cornrows.
And they're fighting cocks.
That's like their side gig. And they get robbed
by midget gangsters. Mexican midget
gangsters. Yeah, it's
an interesting... It's a fun series. I'll have to watch the rest of that
series
before Terminator or Terminator 2.
Man,
I was going to send you the Blu Terminator 2. I hate, I, man,
I'm,
I was going to send you the Blu-ray too.
I've got it.
I was,
I watched that movie that you sent me,
uh,
leaving Las Vegas,
not leaving Las Vegas,
uh,
LA Confidential.
Oh,
LA Confidential.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
Yep.
And I liked that a lot.
I still have it.
It's one of the,
the only Blu-rays I own.
It's tremendous. What's your Blu-rays I own. It's tremendous.
What's your Blu-ray player?
I used my Xbox.
The Xbox One.
The black one that's vertical.
Series X. I don't think they come with a disc
player anymore.
I'm not sure though.
I don't know what else I would have played it on.
You might not have the most recent one or I'm wrong.
Which could be.
I've got a PlayStation 5 and
a Series X, so one of them
definitely plays Blu-rays. Yeah, I definitely
don't. My Xbox. I don't
operate the disc. I've got someone for that.
You don't know how to operate the
disc? You train your dog.
Yeah.
You can get them with and without the disc, so maybe
I don't have the disc.
That's why I think that.
I think those consoles have always been pretty good Blu-ray players
back to when PlayStation
destroyed when they stuck
a damn Blu-ray player in that
PlayStation 3. That was such a good idea.
Having PlayStation 2
be a DVD player was an awesome idea.
Xbox 360 was too, though.
Wasn't that the same gen?
It was 360 and PS3.
Originally, Xbox 360 couldn't.
Didn't they play that other one, like the HD
DVD or something?
They would have played both, right?
I remember HD
and not knowing which was going to win
and not buying.
Neither of them. Torrenting one again.
If you want the highest quality visuals, you'll still have a Blu-ray.
Do you think you'll like that Kevin Costner movie while we're talking about movies?
I thought you might like it. If you want a good movie reviewer, I think
he's kind of on the same wavelength and he's
fun too. He's a critical drinker. He's also
a bit political. He goes on Pierce Morgan and
talks about the woke Disney stuff.
I think
he described it as
that it bounced around to quite a few
characters and
it made it sound like it was a bit disjointed
and you weren't getting enough of what
you wanted and far too much of characters and situations
you didn't care about.
I don't know. I'll watch it.
I'll give it a try, I guess.
If you go back to his
Wyatt Earp movie, I don't know if you ever saw that.
It came out the same year as Tombstone.
I saw it. It's been a while.
It's a little dry.
Kevin Costner's a little dry.
He doesn't have a sense of humor. Kevin Costner's never cracked a joke dry you know because kevin costner's a little dry he doesn't have a sense
of humor kevin costner's never cracked the joke not a not a real one like he might have been
if anything his sort of like lack of a sense of humor is the joke you know like his right
the the fact that he often plays someone who's socially retarded for lack of a better term like
someone who's been out too long you know if you
think about water world or if you think about uh postman or even if you think about um um open
range this guy's been out there too long he's not used to being in a in town and he's going to be
sort of awkward and weird about it patients for people for people in... Is it Yellowstone, the TV show?
Yeah.
I quit watching that a couple years ago.
I'm sure there's still some good Yellowstone to watch,
but I don't know.
You didn't make it to the end?
I didn't make it anywhere near the end.
I'm probably missing... I didn't know it was ended.
I'm missing quite a bit.
I liked it for a while, and I lost interest.
It's been a couple of years,
and there's supposed to be one more season that
wraps up the story, but they just
can't seem to get that done.
I know Kevin Costner's done
done, according to him.
That's come and gone.
It's currently gone, so you're right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But yeah, the Long Legs movie is the only thing
on the horizon as far as movies that I'm hyped for
I'm tempted to go to the movies and watch it it looks really interesting
they have a fun marketing campaign and you never know how much of it's fabricated
or nonsense or whatever but it starts
and it's like the first time that the actress who plays Michelle or whatever doesn't matter
saw Nick Cage in his daddy Long Legs
outfit or
whatever. Her heart rate hit 170 beats
per minute. And it's like,
that's kind of cool if that's true at all.
I like that. That kind of tells me
that it's shocking and fucking scary.
And again, I've tried to
avoid any sort of spoilers at all, but it looks
like maybe he's a giant spider monster or
some shit. So you don't know anything
about this show, Daddy Long Legs? No, I have no idea. It's a movie that monster or some shit. So you don't know anything about this show?
No, I have no idea.
It's a movie that's out now, I believe.
But it's what I want to see the most.
I like Nicolas Cage when he's used correctly.
I always say he's a good actor, but he's got to be applied correctly. He's not the guy you'd want to play the president in your movie
in a historical drama or something.
But if you need a loon or a wacky goofy monster or someone who's supposed to be like out there he's perfect he's
ready made he doesn't even have to act are you sure it's called daddy long legs maybe long legs
maybe just long legs it is long legs okay
you might like it this is non-spoiler i can read it uh everything about long legs is designed to
rattle you unsettle you and make you think about it for hours and days later.
I'll stop there.
That sounds fun.
Taylor, is there any game that I can waft
in front of your nose
to lure you away from the Age of
Empires, RTS,
click, click till my eyes burn
kind of game? Perhaps an older game.
Tetris.
An older game. No, I'm getting into the ball in a cup game from...
I'm going to show up with a barrel rig and a stick.
Push that shit down the street.
La, la, la, la, la.
Let's kick the rock in front of us.
Kick the can.
Some of those old games.
Yeah, no.
I'm still having too much fun with it god damn it like it's it's just like rtss are so deep what about this always more to learn
there's new warhammer stuff there's elos rankings in this game are you average yet
i'm i'm above average i'm like like I don't know what the percentage is.
I probably top 25%.
Do you want to throw a challenge down right here
to any players in the audience who think they have what it takes
to take the Taylor challenge?
No, a couple of them definitely will.
The Taylor Cancer Memorial Challenge?
What are the odds that one in four players will find someone?
I'm hosting a benefit for Boogie2988 and i'm gonna play people in aoe yeah
no i i'm definitely significantly better than average now but like long way to go if i want
to actually feel like really good because there's just so much like there's 50 sibs in the game when
you get really good what do you think you'll be able to you're gonna be able to go pro in the
league i know those guys god they get banked uh no i don't think you'll be able to go pro in the league? I know those guys, God, they get banked.
No, I don't think I'll be able to go pro.
I think I have no chance whatsoever.
A lot of the pros are getting older now.
No, it's funny.
A lot of the pros are younger than the game.
I hate that you play that game.
It's so fun, dude.
You'd enjoy it if you gave it a fair shake because you like in-depth games.
When I think about the most fun I've had gaming, It's so fun, dude. You'd enjoy it if you gave it a fair shake, because you like in-depth games.
When I think about the most fun I've had gaming, it's times when I'd have a full party playing COD, or it's when I'd have a full party playing PUBG, something like that. PUBG was tremendous fun. I'm not playing this alone most of the time. The vast majority of the time, me and a bunch of my buddies are playing online together.
You're all making barracks and farming bushes together you're all making barracks and farming
bush we're all making barracks we're all farming we're making but you're not watching each other
doing it you're hyper focused on yours for hyper focus but it'll have to be something like like if
you and i are 2v2ing online kyle then we gotta play by the meta if i'm playing a cavalry sieve
you have to play an archer sieve so that we can cooperate in the correct way to put pressure on
one of our opponents force a response from them and their ally and hopefully what happens if you play a
cavalry sieve and i'm like elves or something this elves if you can't work together i don't
i don't know how the elves would would fare they'd probably actually it seems like they'd
be an archer sieve so yeah every work out okay yeah every civ has like different
tech trees different access things dragons no it's all history based so it's like it's very
dry so like the mongols are one the britains uh the franks the ethiopians the persians the
magyars racist uh they they make the most money from DLCs.
And so they're like so deep into civs in Europe that they can go to.
The most recent DLC had the Armenians and the Georgians in it, which is such a deep dive of like civs to have in there.
When you compare it to like Civ 5, because it's like they just have the big ones.
Then they'll like splinter Civs into multiple.
Like the Indians used to be one.
Now they split that up into Hingistanian and Garjara.
It's so fun, dude.
You'd really enjoy it.
I'm not going to try and pressure you into it
because I know you won't play,
but it's unbelievably fun.
I just know.
It's fun to cooperate.
Like when me and you go in and we successfully
harass and cause damage early game slow them down because my cavalry is working with your archers or
vice versa and we're like microing the units correctly in concert like that's really satisfying
and it's also unbelievably frustrating when that's happening to you and you're like
kyle i'm getting attacked by two people and you're like i'll i'll get units over at some point and it's like i just don't want to do rts like i could do warhammer
because it's that quick reset it but but i feel like the long form games of uh age of empires
it's just a little bit too long most of my 1v1s online are about 20 to 30 minutes real time
yeah see that's too long.
A Warhammer game is 5 to 10.
Yeah, there's just not any like Warhammer.
Did you know there's a new
Civilizations dropping in the trailer?
Yeah, but see,
what I like about...
I'll have to see what the artwork looks like.
I'm waiting until somebody does a
big gameplay video. I'll watch
somebody Twitch stream it or something like that.
But, yeah, I didn't like
the artwork for Six. I played a little
bit, maybe 20 or 30 hours
or something, but I also didn't like the multiplayer
and that's what made me sort of
addicted to Civ was going back and
playing multiplayer free-for-alls.
I can only beat the AI so
many times in so many different ways until
I'm done. I want to get all the different kinds of victories and maybe do that with multiple sieves because it's
really fun if you can like get the japanese but you have all whales and pearls on your island
it's like this is so cool i'm gonna i'm gonna explode but then i can only do that so many times
so if they don't have a good multiplayer community mod community that's why warhammer struggles like warhammer
there's nobody playing online in warhammer like there are those you just don't want to
you've got to go into the discord into like filthy um not filthies but um um turin if you
got to go to like turin's discord and there's like a whole community um it's actually on tv
right now downstairs earlier when i walked the my youtube
i just rolled over to his live stream um he was talking about the new dlc and i think they added
all those custom maps that players had made into the multiplayer rotation so now those are available
to everybody it's such a cool looking game but there's just like as far as like wanting to play
matchmaking just hopping on and playing, there's no player base.
Age of Empires 2 has a player...
AoE 2 is in the top
50, 60
Steam games.
Yeah, everybody's machine will play it.
Yeah, it's fun.
It has a big Romanian audience.
You like the rock, paper, scissors of
Warhead.
They're playing the oldest game because someone's playing it on their fucking pregnancy test.
Yeah.
It's so fun.
I really enjoy it.
I have a good time with it.
It's that perfect, like, so frustrating when you lose, so satisfying when you win.
Like, and when you, like, it's the same way you play Warhammer.
GTA is the game.
You're going to play GTA with me? Oh, multiplayer dude you don't even you don't are you are you
out of your mind all right let me does that have a multiplayer so so i thought i was gonna be the
ignorant one about gta multiplayer here i only played gta 5 the campaign like and then like
like fucked around and like tried to be a criminal and stuff we could gta role play like like people
go on there and do all kinds of crazy shit it's you're you're all in there can i
say it they do like cops and robbers chases and stuff like there's all sorts of like bank robber
stuff there's lots of fun role play and like ways to multi-play in that game and and and i'm speaking
ignorantly just having watched like a few videos here and there of people fucking around in there.
But you've got lots of people in the same server in the GTA world doing shit.
But not so many that it's like a bustling street full of people.
There's still tons of AI out there.
I knew you could do that in 5.
I thought you were referencing just now, do you want to play GTA 6 together?
Well, you know how GTA 5 is.
They just keep pumping money and development into it.
It's a whole different game than it was when it came out.
Again, I don't play the game.
I didn't like the protagonist.
But for GTA 6, I'm A-OK with both protagonists, of course,
because I'm a straight man.
I'm going to play the lady, the Mexican chick,
and you're going to play the Sean Strickland-looking guy, I'm sure.
It's probably like GTA V,
where based on the missions,
you bounce around to different characters.
God damn it.
Yeah, I'd be okay with that, I guess.
I just didn't want to play that one fellow from GTA V
for some reason, I don't know.
The black guy?
Was he?
I liked it.
He was actually my second favorite of the characters.
I liked the crazy He was actually my second favorite of the characters.
I liked the crazy meth head the most.
Yeah, that guy's probably voiced by... I think I know who that actor is. I can't think of it.
But anyway, GTA 6 is a quarter billion dollar game, probably.
$300 billion of development.
It's got a huge community, so you know whatever game modes
or ways to co-op and
role play are going to be fully populated and they're going to there's going to be a plugged
in community of intense fans and they just it always improves and gets better like i think i'm
gonna be playing a lot of that it looks fun i might even get a oh i've got a wheel try it out
if you can use the wheel on gta i wonder if it'll be like so so the last GTA was a huge investment.
We'll take a quarter billion dollars to make that game.
And somehow it was a great investment.
Usually you put that much into a game.
You're going to lose money,
but not them.
Are they trying to strike lightning twice here?
I mean,
not four or five,
six times in a row,
something like that.
They did red dead redemption.
Hmm. I was going to say the other Grand Theft Autos were successful, but they weren't that big of
a roll of the dice. Rockstar
is the premier single
player role-playing
game developer.
They are it, in my opinion.
What did Bethesda even do?
When's the last time they...
What year is it?
Joe Biden
was alive when Skyrim was
on the play.
That's his favorite video game
too. They made that thing so
fucking long ago.
2011 or something.
Meanwhile, Rockstar has made like three
amazing games in the same amount
of time while they've been seemingly just adapting their shit to,
uh,
to different forms of media and different devices for some reason.
Like I,
and then that fall at 76 game was trash.
And it still is.
If you ask me,
it's got some replayability,
but it's,
it's,
it pales in comparison to the real titles in that series.
Like,
like three,
four and new Vegas.
Yeah.
Red,
red,
red dead redemption too. I played a lot of that by a like, like three, four and new Vegas. Yeah. Red, red, red dead redemption too.
I played a lot of that by a lot.
I mean,
like I didn't finish the game,
but I played a lot of the game and it didn't,
it wasn't ever as fun as GTA five,
like as far as running around causing mischief.
I think that's the most fun part of it.
I've never played it.
I've only watched it.
And,
uh,
it seemed to me that the people who really love it, enjoy role play, the cowboy role play and and all of the wacky things you could do.
I've seen them like pistol whip a woman, tie her up, drag her behind a horse and then feed her to an alligator.
And yeah, you can like beat up the suffragettes.
Yeah, you can do kind of anything.
That's neat to me.
The last GTA I played was
Vice City and I absolutely
loved it. There's no telling how many hours of Vice City
I played from just playing through
the story over and over to
sitting in there until I had memorized all the cheat codes
and just fighting the police for as long as I could.
Try to get five stars. You're still in a phase
of not gaming right now.
Cause you can't find something fun.
You enjoy.
Right.
Like you're just,
yeah,
I haven't had any,
I haven't,
I don't have anything on the horizon.
You got a GTA six.
Dude,
Tarkov looks fun.
Um,
but,
but I won't,
uh,
support their,
their nonsense.
I'm done with Tarkov.
Drop your morals.
Yeah.
Calm down.
They were just
boogieing around a little bit.
Dude, I'm
still processing that he faked cancer
to raise money and sell a crypto
coin. That is right.
I googled the worst cancer
fakers ever. It's like this woman
faked cancer to get breast implants. This woman
faked cancer to fund her
lavish wedding this person
fake cancer for this or that and i'm like boogie is right there with you he doesn't give up anything
to them you gotta put on charlie's mother faked cancer yeah that was need money money me
money please and then like charlie is like mouthing it as the speechwriter he's like
money me like need money broken fucking english class no that to me is what's on the horizon as
far as gaming though i i don't really have i tarkov does look fun though they've um they've
made a lot you know what age of empires 2 is kind of like the terminator 2 of gaming it's old but
there's a reason people still rave about it and talk about
it is because they don't make movies like they used to they don't make rts games like they used
to oh have you ever seen vivarium yes yes i actually have seen that one the the cover is
like a a veiny arm or something right that's the no that's the one where they're stuck in the
greenhouse in the pocket dimension and they can't get away from it the no that's the one where they're stuck in the greenhouse in the
pocket dimension and they can't get away from it okay i have seen that one where they they're
trying to dig their way out and they get assigned a child oh woody this is a fun movie i won't spoil
a whole ton of it actually i will um so it's on netflix and young couple it's it's eisenberg
jesse eisenberg's the guy and uh something the. And the two of them are house hunting, I suppose,
and they go into this very peculiar real estate agent's office.
He takes them to this new development, and all the houses are identical.
And they go in, and they're like, this is kind of whack or whatever,
and they go outside, and he's gone.
The real estate agent's gone. He's kind of just disappeared.
Well, they hop in their car, and no matter what way they turn, they can't get out of the subdivision.
And they keep driving past number nine, the same house over and over and over until they run out
of gas. They've switched places. He's already been like, let, let me drive. And still they can't get
out of here. And long story short, the next day, a baby is there in a box and it says raise this
baby and then you can go free and so then become begins this montage of this baby grows like a dog
like it's growing fast it's it's clearly some not and it talks its lips move and then almost like a
speaker from within it plays a voice that's disconnected
and it screams like a banshee when it wants food until it's like the milk is in the cereal and the
spoon is stuck in and then immediately its mouth shuts and it eats it's disturbing to live with
he's like like a normal baby really it is i i kind of liked it um it's a dark dreary depressing sad movie the the girl is outside
looking at the clouds and she's like clouds here are all cloud-shaped all of them cloud-shaped
clouds it's that happens here thickening yeah no yeah but some of them look like dogs some of them
look like someone look like a house someone look like a face. They're all like cartoon clouds.
They're like little poof balls.
Little poof balls, just copy-pasted in the sky.
None of it's real.
They're in this weird pocket dimension
where these aliens use humans like cuckoo birds.
You know how the cuckoo bird lays its egg?
Yeah.
And then the cuckoo hatches out pushes
the sparrows or whatever they are out of the nest the robins whatever and then the mother doesn't
know any better she has to feed it like they're human cuckoos it was sad it was not a satisfying
ending why it was did they go free they they died and the the baby had grown to be the exact same
man who had dropped them off,
like a clone of him, essentially.
And he Ziploc bagged them and threw them in the hole
the husband had been digging to try to escape the whole time.
And that was that.
Yep.
Not a tale of jubilation at the end.
It was.
There weren't enough answers at the end.
I needed a drink after that movie.
That was so stupid. You need to. I needed a drink after that movie. That was so...
You need to drown it with a little Dos Equis.
It's kind of cool because the movie seems to have
impacted you. Therefore, that movie
was well done. Perhaps.
It's one of those movies where the premise is so
fascinating that it pulls you through
the entire thing, even if
as it's going, you're like, well, even if I
was in this situation, this isn't the behavior I do.
I killed a kid, right. would you kill that kid yes yeah it clearly it was it was so like it did
that thing where the kid was around for like like the kid had been there for three weeks and he was
already seven years old and then the wife is like something's not right and it's like no shit like
it's been evident since step one of this that something's not right.
The husband's like, that's not a boy.
She's like, that boy.
She's like, it's not a boy.
That's not a child.
I don't know what that is.
And he tries to kill it.
He tries to go lock it in the car
and leave it out there to die.
And she goes and gets out of the car
and brings it in because it's screaming.
Dude, I would have pickaxed that thing.
That thing was clearly like a demon.
There's one part that's actually like scary and the whole thing where the boy can the whole time he's mocking
them to their face but he can perfectly duplicate their voice from within like a mimic he's like a
it's like he's a voice recorder almost and she's she's trying to he's been leaving the house and he says he's going to talk to
someone but he can't say to who like he goes somewhere they can't walk down the street without
coming out the other side in a circle but this guy's been leaving during the day and like and
he's the guy like a school book written in alien fucking languages and shit but he won't tell him
where he's going or who he's talking to and And so she's like, can you mimic daddy?
And he goes,
I'm so tired of this.
Nothing tastes good anymore.
Oh,
that's so good.
Can you mimic mommy?
Yeah,
of course I can.
Oh,
that's great.
Could you mimic anyone else?
The doggy.
He goes,
okay.
What about anybody else? Maybe the person you met with today? And he
just goes,
and his
throat starts swelling in this
unnatural frog-like way
from both sides, and she
just starts sobbing in terror,
backing away from him, and it's like,
fuck.
This is dark. that's a bad answer
not what any of us wanted to hear not what i wanted to hear at all
yeah it's a that was a dark depressing sad but also an interesting premise like i love the cuckoo
at the very beginning you see the cuckoo thing happen you know so it's you see like a cuckoo
pushing the other babies out okay
so it's kind of in your head that's what's going on here um that was a dark fucking movie i i i
guess you're right woody if it affected me it's it's done its job i watched some movies and i'm
just like meh all right good guy won huh guess he guess he shot. Right? One third of the way through this,
I could have written the other two thirds.
There's so many movies where you've got
the estranged husband, right?
The wife, she's got a new guy
that she's been living with,
and he's worried about his son
maybe becoming this guy's son
a little bit too much.
And then the boyfriend dies.
He gets killed in the plague, the tragedy.
It happened in 2012,
that movie where the whole world's falling apart.
And then the wife forgets that motherfucker immediately
and arm wrapped around old husband
and we're all smiling.
And it's like, man, this is so fake.
There's nothing real about this.
We'd all be destroyed.
We'd all be destroyed.
Sure, yeah, yeah. Although in that that at least i feel like with rick especially he's just like there's nothing left to feel like like
he's just always sort of in a in the state of being traumatized or dealing with the previous
trauma after maybe season five or six uh He's just always fucked up and usually
physically beaten. He's often
all swollen up and cut and bruised.
So I know
I watch more Walking Dead than most people
and
I think the move is to kill yourself in that
universe. Even the people that
do thrive and sort of get on top of it.
Yeah. You will never
have joy again.
There is no goodness.
I think there's moments between terribleness,
but there's,
it's never,
there's no joy.
You just got to go so far North that they can't walk around and you're just,
you can find joy,
but you're just going to be cold.
I,
I,
I'm not in this universe.
I don't think there's a cold problem,
but they're,
they can't swim. So there might be something like a madagascar solution some some kind of island
right or heck i i've watched enough sailing videos why not just go from like island to island
enjoying your sailing life yeah anything would joy like you know it's a tv show so they just
if they ever were to allow human ingenuity to fix the
zombie problem they just they couldn't continue the show but human ingenuity would fix the zombie
problem right away it's it's silly premise to begin with we could just dig holes and put spikes
in them and throw speakers in there and like no more zombies after a while they'd all just be
spiked and if they if the hole filled up we'd burn them all up there'd be a risk because everyone that dies becomes a zombie in the walking dead so there's a
resupply it seems there's always someone going to die but they'd probably manage that there'd
be a protocol that people agree to we all need we only want we just need apple watches we need
to get notified when when uh biden bites the dust so that we can go and get rid of it you'd have
like an elderly section of the village. Actually, that wouldn't
last long at all. One elderly person
dies and then it's just a clean slate
every time. Now you've got 19
elderly zombies to deal with.
I'm not sure an elderly zombie is less dangerous
than a normal one. No, they creep up
on you. They bite you
with their zombie mouth.
Is their strength related to their normal strength?
I don't know.
I'd be more scared of an Arnold Schwarzenegger zombie than a fucking Chris Christie zombie.
A muscular zombie.
I wouldn't want to tussle with either one.
All they got to do is...
Zombie with a helmet.
Chris Christie is a zombie?
He knows how to fight.
Zombie with a helmet is a problem.
Yeah.
That'd be a real problem, zombie with a helmet.
Like a military helmet especially,
like if it could take some pistol bullets.
Plants for zombies.
That's one of the most feared enemies the zombies the helmeted zombie
with the bucket i'm just not afraid of the zombies anymore like like even as a kid i was like that
would be fun like that's not a that's not like a nightmare scenario the road is vampire i need to
endear myself to a vampire and get him to turn me. Oh, you're gonna charisma a vampire
Woody in this?
Come on. He's gonna eat you if you're lucky.
Dude, they're like a thousand years old.
Just be racist.
He's gonna be like,
This guy, you get it.
Haven't you seen Interview with the Vampire?
They're all black now.
No?
It's a great TV show.
Well, it's
Interview with a Vampire, the novel.
It's Interview with a Vampire, the novel.
So, you know, they just made everyone black
instead. Oh, well.
It's weird because one of the characters was a
plantation owner with slaves.
What is this? Is this the adaptation?
Yeah, I don't like that.
I think it's on amazon maybe i don't know
where it is um it's been out for a few years it's like it used to be brad pitt and tom cruise as the
two main characters and now it's like two black dudes you have to have a pretty diverse group
if you're trying to be like careful with your vampire clan because people are going to notice
it's like it's like have you guys noticed every time a fucking ginger comes into town, people start dying?
They'd put that together.
Same with if they're all black or they're all
fucking Japanese. You would want a
diverse cast so you can kind of
lessen the accusations.
Look at Taylor with the
DEI vampire strategy.
That's true.
That guy only was picked because it's
a black woman. Every once in a while you have to be like was picked because it's a black woman.
Every once in a while, you have to be like, we've got to turn this
black woman because we need
to introduce a black woman to this town
and they haven't had a black woman vampire yet
so she's going to go under the radar.
She's going to get like three bites in and then
dip. If she's half black
and Asian, do we get double credit like with the
vice president?
Sure. Yeah. Nice.
Yeah, you get quadruple credit.
You never see the Asians claiming her.
It's weird. Who?
Kamala Harris.
Kamala is Indian, right?
Is she? Yeah, Asian.
I don't think of
India as Asian. They're kind of their own thing.
Well, that's because you're ignorant.
She's Indian and black, right?
She's Indian and black, right? She's Indian and Jamaican.
That's right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's funny. I do the American thing where
if you have black, that's the one you are.
Oh, yeah.
Like Tiger Woods.
Have you seen Tiger Woods?
He's gambling a lot the asian side is finally
taken over noah's another one he's i don't even know what his mix is but he's just black right
yeah i think he is he's black and white right uh barack obama he's another one barack obama he's
black and white yeah they get the whole thing i don't't like it. I like that Chappelle episode where they had
a draft and they were trading
players and stuff.
Yeah. Who would you trade for?
On the white team.
I mean, we're on the white team and so
we would be trading for Black or Asian.
Can we get Lenny Kravitz? I want Lenny Kravitz.
And Chloe Kravitz, his daughter.
She played Batwoman in that newer Batman that I like.
Really hot.
Just really hot.
I mean, if we got them, we're going to have to...
All right, Lenny Kravitz's daughter might be a 10 on second thought,
especially if she's wearing the Catwoman suit from the movie.
Yeah, but if we're...
You know how trades work.
If we get Lenny Kravitz,
we're also going to have to take
like a
salaried retired
player from the black team, like
Kony 2012. Are you taking
Lenny Kravitz
if they can offload Kony and his salary
on the team? Kony's not half black
or half white.
No, he's not.
But you'd have to.
Oh, thank you, Zach.
Just 10 for 10, Zach.
Just show me the ugly picture.
Lenny Kravitz looks weird now.
Show me Earth's Catwoman, goddammit.
Why are you doing this to me?
He's so fucking funny.
You son of a bitch.
He always does that.
Tell me what you put into Google. Show me what you put. You son of a bitch. He always does that. Kyle, we'll watch a flattering
show. Show me what you put into Google.
Show me what you put.
Chloe Kravitz, ugly as fuck.
He always finds
them with a burn victim
problem.
Here she was playing a fucking mutant
in a movie. She looks good there.
Zoe Kravitz, thank you.
I don't know why
that's your
first pick for trying to to bolster our team trading for lenny kravitz keanu reeves because
he's half white so we have some claim to him there you go thank you oh so you would only want to do
it i was saying like it would be like a sports team so like oh rock a shitty like like a guy i don't think he's halfway he's
samoan no i think he's samoan and black um or maybe his dad was samoan and black and his mom
show me the show me the rock oh was it nice damn look at you little his dad was
wrestled as well and he looked black to me.
All right, so you'd want The Rock on our team?
Who do we want to offload?
We can't take The Rock because he's half Samoan and half black.
Only the Samoans or the blacks can trade for him because those are the teams that possess him.
Okay, so you're racial league.
At the end of the day, we have to stick.
You have to have some kind of that race in you to even be on the team?
Yeah, of course. It wouldn't make sense sense for tiger woods to trade to like the mexicans they have no
claim on him all right well then who do we want who do we want that we don't already got i don't
know i don't know a lot of biracial actors who i think of off the you know tip of my tongue here
some black nhl players we can get them because they're also they're also half white yeah more hockey players on the team why not yeah there's not a fucking
salary cap in our in our racial league there's nothing wrong with that yeah i don't know about
this one no i don't either i'd want to offload like a Jared Fogle.
Actually, isn't he?
Is Fogle, is that a Jewish name?
Do we have the Jews?
Are they on our team? Is Jared Fogle a Jew, Zach?
Can you fact check that for me?
Can you fact check that for me?
What do you think?
What do you think, Woody?
He's got that curly hair.
He's got a bit of a bulbous nose.
I think you would say a bit of a schnoz.
He loves sandwiches.
Loves sandwiches.
Delis. Delicatessen. Hello.
Jews. Big sandwich people.
Love sandwiches.
That's like their version
of dry cleaners.
He seems like a white guy to me.
Fogel.
Wasn't there a...
He was raised in a Jewish home.
Okay. He's extra Jew
he went to Israel or something and had a bar mitzvah
so yeah call that one
call that one and all it took
was his name being Fogel to figure it out
I want Meghan Markle
I like her
she's the really hot chick
she was in suits and she married like a prince or a king or something.
Shit, I don't.
Oh, is that?
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
She's kind of trashy.
What does she bring?
She looks like a dirty Kardashian.
Now I'm catching strays, but.
Oh, can we?
Oh, the Kardashians are ours to trade as well.
Can you find a picture of Meghan Markle that looks totally hot?
We can trade the Kardashian.
She's not trashy.
I mean, you know,
not according to the royal family.
In the royal family, they have high standards.
They're the royal family.
They care about that stuff.
I don't see what she brings to the table
for our team, but if we can
offload... We're trading her.
We're trading her.
You want to hang on to Meghan Markle?
You're not a prince. I don't know what you're
hoping for.
I'm just going to Google
the worst mixed race people.
It's got to be the Kardashians.
I don't think
they're mixed race. I think they're just Armenian or something.
They're half Armenian, half Jewish.
Okay.
Well, then I guess they get to pick if they want to be on Team Jew or Team Armenia.
Or I guess Armenia.
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
No.
So the dad was Armenian, Kardashian.
What's the mom?
What's Kris Jenner?
What is she?
She's so mutated looking these days that she could be a mole person for all I know.
Kris Jenner ethnicity. Oh, come on.
You gotta... They don't know. Come on. Where's Wikipedia?
Early life.
No dice. Nothing specific there. Let me know.
So it'd probably just be white then.
I don't think I've ever actually
watched the Kardashians. Have you ever had
a girlfriend that watched trashy TV like that that drug
you through it? No.
I've never seen a second of the Kardashians.
I've probably seen
less than three minutes of it.
I don't know the show really.
I saw one clip where
someone called the Kardashians
and said she was getting divorced
and every one of the girls was like,
yeah, that happens. It's no big deal.
It was kind of funny.
It does.
It does.
That's a ridiculous little empire they've built over there.
I love it.
Yeah, they got like billions of makeup dollars now.
One of them is like a makeup guru.
To me, it is more earned than a typical star.
I think a reality star who has to be on and find ways to keep themselves entertaining and reinvent that shit for, I don't know, 10, 15 years.
That's a harder job than doing a movie twice a year.
These guys work 24 by 7, I would argue.
But they stay part-time by being whores and the other person is an artist doing their art with other artists.
That's the kind of art I like.
The building of dignity.
Dignity. Dignity. No, no.
I absolutely want to see
a slut maintain interest
for 15, 20 years. That's talent.
Anyone can do what Keanu Reeves does.
It's not talent. They're surgeons.
They're the talented ones.
I can't get into it.
That Hobbit. There's something about the Kardashians
that have kept people's attention.
And I'm impressed by that. i think they appeal to a like and i know they started this horse but they didn't stay that way okay what i don't know i thought they did i thought that was part of their
thing i i think well i mean like it's not on drama and sleeping around a lot and yeah yeah but you'll
get to see him bang oh so behavior is that of a boy.
They pose nude. They all pose nude.
Nude?
Kris Jenner's been pimping every one of her
daughters out for the last few days.
Look what happened to poor fucking Bruce.
Look what she did to Bruce. Pimped him out too.
Who's Kris Jenner?
The mother.
The matriarch of the family.
I really don't watch the show much i just know that
they've stayed in the public eye for that long and i feel like that takes a talent i feel like
doing what um i don't know freaking any normal actor does and just get a role every year or two
work for six weeks and promote a movie is an easier job than what Kardashians do.
I don't know. I'm sure a lot of it seems, I mean, I don't follow it at all, but it seems like
all the Kardashians do is
blending their name
and the label. Yeah, Kanye
was just a fun-loving guy.
Had lots of Jewish
friends. Then the Kardashians
got to him, and then he's fucking
showing some interesting graphs
he got off 4chan on
his phone to the news.
Which is
so fucking funny to download
a graph like
who's in charge of media organizations
and be like, I'm not
going to say who it is. They're
Jewish.
I was really surprised that he had it.
I was really surprised he didn't come back out with the Jewish stuff,
like alongside this conflict.
It seems like if he were rapping about this conflict,
then he could like get some,
get some people into his anti-Semitic game.
You know,
he could,
he could, he could. He could make it
more palatable if he
was rapping about bombing Palestinians.
He should do a concert in
Palestine. Imagine that. That's the
old Kanye. That's the Kanye I want to see back.
I want to see Kanye and his
naked wife on stage in Palestine
rapping about...
I don't know if they'd be cool with the way his
wife dresses.
Taylor, what's the bigger career risk?
Taking on the Jewish people like Kanye
did or faking cancer?
Number one by an enormous magnitude.
I like it's not even close.
I knew you'd say that.
Yeah.
He's not going to lose his bank for this.
He's not going to his bank for this which bank isn't gonna ring him up and be like i've been seeing some stuff i mean they might i i really hope that he didn't like i i know keem suggested it but i i i hope he didn't like
literally pump the cancer to to to make money on the charity i hope it wasn't literally pump the cancer to make money on the charity.
I hope it wasn't, or not the charity, the crypto.
I hope it wasn't what I said earlier
where he was like,
hey, yeah, just think of this crypto as my cancer fund.
I think he said he rug pulled it
to pay for his medical bills.
Okay.
I guess they're not as combined as... I don't i don't i believe well that was a lie
though they didn't have medical bills for a second i was like oh well that makes sense maybe it's
wait a minute there were no magnum he doesn't have cancer i mean i'm sure there's medical
he had a high iron count he needed to give blood that's not fucking God. So did I. You go give blood. It's free. They take it.
Well, he couldn't get the five grand back
because he needed a free procedure.
They want it.
He's screaming at CoffeeZilla
like, I'm not used to this level
of scrutiny.
I need to watch the CoffeeZilla video
then. He makes good stuff.
Eight minutes or so. It's good.
The videos I've seen for him are all very good.
The boogie said that money was already spent.
And then it turns out that the timeline didn't work up.
When he says that money was already spent, he meant it was already allocated.
I have intentions of doing this thing in the future.
That's why there's no receipts.
Well, it's great it's a it's a sad day when keemstar fucking votes you off your island you know you know you must have really stepped in shit he's a forgiving guy uh you know uh you
think he'll be back oh what do you think he'll come back and do like more more francis job of
the hut francis bits job of the Hut. Francis bits.
Job of the Hut. I really think you should listen to
the show and get the green screen.
Set up a little saline solution.
Meeson no have
cancer. Meeson lie.
You should just
do a show.
That's fucking gold.
He needs to come out with another coin coin me give your cancer pity money to her
he should he should come out and be like this is my uh fatty two coin i have aids he needs
double down make up another disease you have the luxuries I was able to afford with your cancer dollars. Actually, you know what?
New Tesla.
Did that.
How about this?
It worked for Kevin Spacey.
What if he comes out as gay?
Right.
Oh, that's the ticket.
Yeah.
I now choose to live my life as a gay man.
I choose to live my life as a gay man.
He made it sound like a role he was taking on.
Like he was a method actor.
I'm above reproach in this regard i still say i've been groping every boy that comes around yes because i'm the president
i never i still say let you do it mostly innocent spacey's mostly in innocent like like the one kid
that had the most serious claims like those have been
clearly he was lying because he couldn't describe the room that it supposedly happened in
like not even not he didn't know the lampshades like he didn't know what the apartment was shaped
like or what kind it was he described a scenario where there was a private bedroom and it was a
studio apartment where it was an open floor plan where the party guests that were supposedly there
would have been right there like looking at the bed in the bedrooms
there's no way Spacey like pinned him down
on that bed without everybody at the
party seeing it and then the other guy
that went after him like
he was like texting back to his girlfriend like this is so
crazy I'm flirting with Kevin Bacon he grabbed my
dick oh he's ridiculous
Kevin Spacey
Kevin Spacey you know what I said?
He said Kevin Bacon
don't let me put that on Kevin Bacon.
Yeah, I didn't think he'd want that.
Yeah, he wouldn't want that. Big fan of the show.
Kevin Bacon. Gardens of the Galaxy, Christmas
edition. Where would the world be without that?
Shout out Kevin B.
Kevin B.
I liked Footloose.
I liked Footloose when I was a kid. I tried to watch it
as an adult. I'm like, this is so bad.
Another one from that list.
I'm not a big Kevin Bacon fan.
I like Tremors, though.
I think Spacey's innocence was proven
when all the victims died.
Yeah.
Would an innocent accuser have died like that?
Unlikely.
I mean, that helped his cause
that two of his accusers passed away and
perhaps three who's keeping count kevin's not he's got other things to do he's looking for boys
yeah i just feel bad because that you know the house of cards thing and he is a tremendous fucking actor even if i
don't like kyle really does operate on the like the more talented you are the worst crime you're
allowed to commit we're deprived of him r kelly oh pete on a girl bring him up but michael jackson
banging children i don't know i like that abc song yeah it's a good song yeah i just think yeah
i think that guy's innocent because billy jean was dope another thing i just think i don't want
to deprive the world of thriller because maybe maiko was a little handsy with with some lads
at maybe maybe you like to get them drunk and sleep with them.
Allegedly.
If Hitler would have been a five times better painter,
Kyle would have been like, you know what?
I've been doing some math.
Some of this stuff doesn't check out.
Look at these paintings. Could an evil man do this?
We looked at those
paintings. They're really good.
Last time we looked at the
Hitler paintings, everyone came away thinking,
I don't know why they kicked him out
of art school. It was pretty fucking good.
Yeah, actually.
If he had that going into art school,
why didn't they see any potential in him?
Maybe he had a point.
That's a lot of trouble.
Maybe he had a point maybe he had a point
maybe they were being
what do you call it when Jews
don't
exclude white people Taylor
racist
is it not just racist
A-OK I call that
maybe they were being racist
exclusionary to his
Aryan blood
bloodline. Maybe that was
true. Maybe it was true.
Maybe he could have
buckled down and painted a little better.
He could have tried harder.
Had a little gumption.
Actually, he did seem to have an enormous amount of gumption.
Did he have Parkinson's too?
Is that what they think he had
i always heard those tremors were amphetamine based yeah i think i thought it was because
he was goofed up on the amphet he was like taking 1930s adderall yeah that's don't your
hands have tremors with parkinson's though yes yeah it's a big part of it. Biden doesn't have that. That's the one thing
he doesn't seem to fit.
Well, in any case,
my prediction is
there's a 50-50 shot
that Trump becomes an emperor
next year, and the
God-Emperor Trump jokes come true
because
it seems to be the way
things are heading if he wants to take the crown.
If this news cycle about Biden
dropping out
exhausts itself in the next few days, I guess
it'll be Biden and we'll see where it goes.
Yeah. I think it will be
Biden. I hope it is.
Well, fingers crossed.
I think Trump's going to win though.
Biden.
Right now it looks like Trump's going to win.
You'd be silly to think otherwise.
Call it a wrap?
Yes, sir.
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