Painkiller Already - Does Brandon Herrera Run For Office Again? PKA 712 W/ Brandon Herrera

Episode Date: August 10, 2024

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Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 PKA 712 with our guest Brandon Herrera. Taylor? This episode of PKA is brought to you by Bluechew, Lock and Load, and our wonderful, wonderful selection of merch that you can get with PKA 10 down below. Brandon. How close did I come to it with your last name?
Starting point is 00:00:16 Did I get close? You nailed it this time. I was very proud of you. Is that what happened? All right. Did you get it wrong the first time? That's such an easy name, man. What'd you do? Roll the R?
Starting point is 00:00:26 How do you do that? That's the local San Antonio way of saying it. I think it's been that Brandon Hara, I think, for the last two episodes. But you know what? I was very proud of you. Well, Brandon Hara, thank you for joining us. I think I had more confidence when I mispronounced it than I did just now. And you know what? You're so confident. I actually checked my birth certificate to make sure that I haven't been fucking it up So we just watched a police activity video before the show
Starting point is 00:00:55 I am a little torn on it Kyle. Can you break down what happened? Um So it looked to me like they're in in what they're in New York and a couple NYPD cops are pursuing this guy who doesn't want to stop. He's like running from them. And they all end up on the ground wrestling, two cops on one guy. And the guy pulls out a concealed handgun and starts shooting the cops. And he shoots them both. And the cop pulls his gun out and he can see the bad guy's foot. The bad guy's not wearing any goddamn shoes.
Starting point is 00:01:25 And trust me, he should have worn some steel toes because that cop starts drilling his feet with bullets into the concrete like it's a nail gun. He's going, drop that gun, drop what I said. And it's like, dude, you're gonna blow his whole foot off eventually. I can see black marks, like sooty black marks from the
Starting point is 00:01:45 the the tip of the barrel like like he's touching the guy's ankle and giving him bullets through his foot into the asphalt. He's shooting so directly in the this is how I would shoot someone in the foot to be sure I got it. Like I mean, barrel pressed
Starting point is 00:01:59 100% accuracy from the cop. I thought it was a great shoot because like again, the guy is shooting the cops. I didn't even catch that. I even catch that I heard it but I couldn't see the perps gun did you see you see to the very end that they get it away from him look you know black semi-automatic gun or what the fuck it I got a question you guys are gonna know the answer to this but if you hold your pistol against something like a bale of hay or a chest or whatever.
Starting point is 00:02:25 Does it cycle still? Oh, you could actually fuck up the cycle if you were pushing into them, right? Yeah, actually it may not ever even fire because it's something that's called out of battery. I was looking to see the nearest Glock, but if it's out of battery, then the slide is pushed back ever so slightly. You could pull the trigger and it won't go off. Yeah. That's what those ninjitsu guys are teaching you when they're grabbing the gun.
Starting point is 00:02:47 Has anybody ever done that, like demonstrated that to you, like tried to grab the pistol out of your hand? I've seen a lot of people demonstrate it. I don't think I've ever seen somebody do it in a practical real world environment. All right. I was at those Tac Tech machine gun shoots in Tennessee somewhere and there was an Israeli guy. He was the bodyguard for a firearm company owner. And and he was doing the technique on people. And I was like, please, please take this pistol from me. And what he's doing is slapping the inside of your wrist so hard that like the the tendons or whatever kind of like automatically released the gun.
Starting point is 00:03:23 He took that fucking gun from me. Like, really? Oh, point blank. You have to get you have to get with an arm's reach and be like, all right, grab it. You know, would you ever allow that to happen when you were holding a gun? No, no. You have to count on the guy being melee distance with a ranged weapon. And I got to get out for him and say, take it now. But you probably wouldn't be doing that in real life I think that maybe it works for
Starting point is 00:03:48 someone who doesn't really want to shoot right like you have to almost talk me into pulling this trigger and the guy doesn't like I mean if someone doesn't want to shoot that bad I feel like I could just cry Please don't kill me. This is a solid technique. It's my U.S.E. Alright everyone gather around for my technique. You're going to want to poop and pee all over yourself. Make yourself an unappealing target.
Starting point is 00:04:17 I get up like eyes absolutely red from weeping like covered in piss and I'm like and that's how you survive on the streets. That's how I won the silver star. That's how I... Sorry. It's like the Jerry Smith. It's like I just kept crawling and it just kept working. Is it so pathetic they don't want to waste a bullet on you?
Starting point is 00:04:41 No, I thought that was a good shoot because, good shoot because the guy had a gun and in the wrestling situation they were in, it didn't seem like the cop we were on board with really had much else to get a hold of and shoot safely while he was being all octopus with his partner and everything. So yeah, pump some in his ankle, I guess, why not? I misinterpreted the video. If people, yeah, no, we can't show you the video.
Starting point is 00:05:04 I wish we could, we get struck. But in the confusion of the body cam, we've all seen shaky, too close body cam footage. I thought the guy was just resisting. He was not letting them put cuffs on. And as a response, the cop did like, probably non-lethal shots to the leg and the foot. That was how I interpreted the video.
Starting point is 00:05:25 That guy's crippled for life, dude. He hit the ankle bone with the first one. Yeah, he hit, the first one was like on the ankle bone and the second one was like, also on the ankle bone. Well, maybe the third one. One of them went through like the fleshy meaty part, like on the bottom of your foot.
Starting point is 00:05:40 That guy's crippled. If you can afford a good reconstructive surgeon, it's probably not bad, but that guy doesn't look like that kind of guy. No, no. Okay, that's a good point. Cause I was going to say, I've broken all my arms and legs and they work pretty well.
Starting point is 00:05:51 Like it's not, it's not a death sentence. Shattered. It's like a, like a light bulb inside his ankle. There are four bones holding your foot to your leg. I broke three of them at one time once. But broken half, right? They didn't explode from a bullet. It was kind of like a diagonal on the worst one. They just put some screws through it and let it heal.
Starting point is 00:06:11 Well, Eduardo there has no such representation. Yeah, he probably doesn't have a Cadillac health insurance plan. This is a good way to take care of these criminals like that guy. How is he going to be a good, effective criminal ever again? He can't. You've neutralized his ability to do crime. Have you? Power stance. Yeah. What's he gonna be a good effective criminal ever again? He can't. You've neutralized his ability to do crime. Have you? Have power stance.
Starting point is 00:06:29 Yeah. What's he gonna do? I mean, I guess he could like get into money laundering on the back end, but like his time on the street of running around, causing mischief, that's done. That's over. You've created a white collar criminal now. Does he have the chops for that? He probably would have been stealing percentages of pennies out of hedge funds Does he have the chops for that? He probably would have been, you know, stealing percentages of pennies out of Tej funds if
Starting point is 00:06:46 he had the intelligence of that in the first place instead of stealing from gas stations or whatever. It might be one of those my hypothetical situation. How do we feel about shooting feet when people resist handcuffs? Not at all. You don't shoot people just for fighting. All right. So I watched so many of these police videos that,
Starting point is 00:07:05 that like, I, there's like flavors to this thing and how resisting arrest goes and what the perp is actually about. Some people are having this, I see a lot of, not stereotype, but it's usually black women and they're mad about something that has nothing to do with the cop. But like, they're so in their emotions, they can't direct direct they can't speak to the cop clearly enough to get the problem solved they're like everybody's part of their problem now and you don't shoot that lady in the foot you just kind of got a wrestler down or taser or something but no i don't know one right across her mouth right across her mouth there's a little bit just a warning shot like a like boogie shot just boogie it just i mean it bang grab her fake hair throw it on the ground and then she'll have something new. I have that video too
Starting point is 00:07:49 Yeah, I have that loaded up two cops pull over this um Lady and um, they start arguing and she doesn't want to get out the cop's opening move is snatching her wig And then she kicks him and then he decks her and then we're all on the ground fighting you guys underestimated how street smart I was it's a good, solid technique. No, I see a, was he a ball top? I don't, you're on his camera. You couldn't tell. I don't think you should shoot somebody if you're a cop, unless they got a knife or a club or, you know, a bludgeoning type. I saw a guy get shot with a paint roller the other day.
Starting point is 00:08:21 Dude had a paint roller coming at the cops and they killed him. And it's like, ah, I don't know. What if the cop can't win the fight now I know he should be able to write late in ideally every cop is Brock Lesnar and they can subdue you with wrestling But what if it's a woman? Oh if the guys coming at you that he doesn't need anything to be shot Like if you're the cop with the gun and you're trying to arrest I don't know the fucking Circle K bandit who just made off with a bunch of bubble issues and he's like bucking up at you and he's coming at you, fist clenched and like sprinting at you.
Starting point is 00:08:52 You kill that guy. Like, what are you, what else are you going to do? Like, I should probably take him. Let's hope so, because I'm basically Batman. I've got all sorts of gadgets and weapons on me. He's not armed until he gets to me. Yeah, it's like, you see, remember that video we watched where originally they were trying to,
Starting point is 00:09:08 quickly left the news, they were trying to be like, unarmed, you know, black kid shot. And the cop was like, he was coming at me with a sickle. And then, and then they showed like the last frames of his like, you know, they were like, he was gardening or something, like media was trying to spin that. And it just showed this guy like, ah! Like with, like, with, like, like forcing you know, they were like, he was gardening or something. The media was trying to spin that. And it just showed this guy like, yeah, like with
Starting point is 00:09:27 with the with the with the scythe. And it's like, all right. Yeah. Somebody's coming at you with a scythe sickle. Any sort of harvesting tool you got to shut that down. You can't have that. Yeah. He's towards. Or I mean, like, I feel like pretty much any time
Starting point is 00:09:44 there's a weapon in like a gun in play, especially, I think lethal forces like the fact that he only went for the feet was remarkable restraint on his part. I think he was trying to be safe about like not hitting his buddy to that's also Yeah, that's how I saw it. Not trying to crossfire or around penetrate, which is like, when I watch so many of these videos that I often see them surround the car that's been running and doing stuff and it's like my god this crossfire is way more scary than that like concussed grand theft auto suspect in the car like like these everybody's pointing guns at everybody it's probably everyone here has shot what are the rounds that light up I'm sorry I'm being a tracer tracers tracers being a moron. Tracers? Tracers. Tracers, yes. And once you shoot tracers, prior to shooting tracers, I thought bullets disappeared after impact.
Starting point is 00:10:32 I don't know, they just got embedded in the tree or something, or they break into so many tiny pieces that the ricochets are not very dangerous. No, you shoot some tracers and you realize that they kind of go in unpredictable directions and with a lot of velocity, like trade, it's a problem. And you don't see it until the tracers. Yeah, you can also hear it a little bit when you're shooting
Starting point is 00:10:55 a subsonic stuff suppressed. Because once you hear it hit the target, because there's not the report of the weapon and you don't have ear pro and whatnot, you can hear the power ting thing. And did you just like just like oh that fucking went somewhere um hope it's on the property even hear it you'll hear it like hit a tree or some whack yep fuck glad nobody was wait that's over there like that somebody could have been over there the supersonic stuff does it but faster yeah pal i'm sure are you thinking of it too, the time Wiggs redemption was... Yeah, we wouldn't, you know, and it wasn't Wiggs fault really, you know, like we were
Starting point is 00:11:32 standing down range and he was shooting sort of parallel to us, but I was like, this isn't... Like he was shooting at a tree and I, the way I remember it is we had been down there for some period of time, then he knew that he wouldn't be so far. He'd have to miss by like 30 degrees, right? So no one's that bad a shot. You're off by one or two usually. But ricochets go, you know, 15, 45 degrees
Starting point is 00:11:58 to the side all the time. It's weird stuff. Yeah, yeah. And it's not like, and the other thing is wings isn't exactly, like I'm not, I don't know if he's a good shot or not, but but he's not it wasn't something he was doing regularly You know which which he so he could just fuck up and accidentally shoot us down there. That's always sketchy accidental discharge It is speaking of guns the ak-50
Starting point is 00:12:21 How is that journey? That was a journey that's been going on for just over, I think, eight years now. And we finally got that all finished on, I think back in, oh, okay. The real story is we got it finished, I think back in like November ish. And we were just spending so long on the video that it didn't actually come out until like May of this year. And so we just wanted, it was going to be my love letter to the whole project. So we wanted to take our time on it
Starting point is 00:12:45 whatnot. I was pretty happy with the way that it turned out. But yeah, what's the what's the plan? There is that is that just a toy that you're like, look what I got? Or is it or is thinking about selling from Phil the viewers and I and you guys made a semi auto AK 50. Is that right? Yes. So we basically from grounds ground up, we we rebuilt the using the AK platform a 50 BMG semi automatic rifle, which is so think about like a Barrett but operating system of an AK. And that took a long time I started it before I knew jack shit about weapon design, which is a terrible place to start.
Starting point is 00:13:21 bringing some employees in and whatnot, and really just learning a lot about what works, what doesn't work, trying, failing, and just building three real big iterations of it. We finally got a finished functional gun. And we just are really cool. Is this a one-off or something that you're selling? So we're not really sure yet. Originally, we were gonna do,
Starting point is 00:13:39 what's funny is that that's entirely 3D printed. That mock-up right there. But we don't really know yet. We're looking into it. We've got a couple of manufacturing partners and I'd love to at least do a small run of these. But who knows? I think a lot of it changed after the Kentucky Ballistics situation. So that was... What happened there? We had a RPG or a gun blow up.
Starting point is 00:14:03 Gun RPG? Someone else had an RPG blow up. Was that also him? So both are friends of mine. One is Scott from Kentucky Ballistics. His way. It was a 50 cal specifically that blew up. And then Adam from Ballistic High Speed was the one that had the RPG explode, had just around debt in the tube.
Starting point is 00:14:20 And he probably actually they got airlifted to the same hospital. Same room. Pretty rare hospital With the RPG did they make that or was that a did they make what was that? So that was a that was a real RPG. That was I believe it was reactivated But I think we're having a problem with the round whoever manufactured the round I'm kind of talking about out of my ass on They told me, but it was a long time ago. Was it like a new manufacturer or something? Yeah. Yeah, I would imagine so.
Starting point is 00:14:53 That was sketchy. That was sketchy. That's what I always wanted to do was make RPG rounds. I was like, that's why I got a type 10 and an explosives. That's why you were so careful, Kyle, when you were doing gun videos to never, never do sketchy stuff. No, honestly, when I see him like blow up like that with the RPG, I'm like, dang, I wish that was me.
Starting point is 00:15:14 The cool fucking clip. I got no. This was pretty close. No, I'd be unconscious on the ground. We're dead. That looks super sketch. That's one of the things you really seen you really can't see it But he had yeah like burns all over his body like the next time I saw him was you know A couple months later and he had uh, like he looked like a hot topic teenage girl Uh, just because he had the long sleeves with the fucking over the thumbs and whatnot
Starting point is 00:15:42 Like it was all wrapped like it was all from the burns. That's terrible. Is he gonna heal just fine or like a burn victim? It's gonna be, he's gonna be pretty fucked up. Like you'll be able to tell that something definitely happened to him. But I mean, for what it was, like he had nerve damage in his face
Starting point is 00:15:56 from all sorts of shit. Like it was pretty bad. He's honestly remarkably lucky to be alive. I don't know this person at all. Is he likely to have all the health insurance money that he needs to get better? Yeah, no, he'll be fine. I honestly, I just think that Vanderbilt Hospital's
Starting point is 00:16:11 getting fucking tired of YouTubers. So did he burn his face or just a little damage on the face? Face is mostly fine. He had some nerve damage from, I think, something that impacted it. But other than that, he's a good injury, a largely arm burn. He could do some workouts, end up looking pretty hardcore. Right? Yeah. That would look cool. I've seen those people that get struck by lightning like in their shoulder and it gives them a lightning tat. Apparently that's not even permanent. But once you get that, you
Starting point is 00:16:46 should, you should tattoo it and make it. Oh, absolutely. Cause that's pretty cool. I wish I get that means God favors you. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:55 Did he test like, do you like, you know, put it in a vice and we took a trigger on a string on the trigger and test fire woman bitches before he went hands on. So funny enough, they had been firing it So funny enough they had been firing it all day Mmm, they had been firing all day. It was I think one of the well it was the last round of the day One way or the other but yeah, it was Last ones and it was it was fucking crazy man That's so scary. One of the things that we always heard about was they maybe Cambodia they like yeah You go to Cambodia you shoot a water buffalo with an RPG, it costs as much money. And I'm like, where do they get
Starting point is 00:17:29 the rounds? Ah, Soviets left a bunch there like 40 years ago. Wait, they've been sitting in soggy ass Cambodia for 40 years and then you want to go into the jungle in a third world country and shoot them at an animal house? No, the Cambodians who are selling rights to hunt their neighbors' cattle are upstanding guys and they keep all those in the proper warehouse. And I'll be honest, I would shoot a water buffalo with an RPG, but I don't want to go off the jungle and get hurt. Wasteful and despicable that you would do that to an animal that's not even one of the bad ones. I'd pay them. You know, I'd pay the villagers and they would use that money to buy bushels of rice
Starting point is 00:18:03 and water purification tablets. Take out one of the, take out a tiger that's terrorizing the Cambodians or whatever their day-to-day problems are don't well I would never shoot a tiger they're beautiful we have different ethics look if I if I give a village clean water for the first time I think I'm entitled to at least one buffalo or water buffalo yes you know what you should actually charge them a bit of an arm and a leg so they realize how nice what you gave them is. You know, maybe a couple of days hungry while they have the clean water, they'll be like, we need to take better care of our water. Because every
Starting point is 00:18:36 week, keep Mr. Beast can't keep doing this forever. You know, he's he brings them fresh water and then he goes back later and he's like,, this is all dirty. Give me this nice water jug. I don't even know how that's. Staff keeps a costing miners. Yeah. Yeah. When he's got all that going on, that's got to be so stressful for Jimmy when he's running the biggest YouTube channel on earth. And he's like, all right, I got this business meeting and this and that and
Starting point is 00:18:59 this and that, uh, by the way, I'm assistant beast. Jimmy, your right hand guy has been caught grooming. He's like, oh, this is horrible news. And people are, but at least I can't be blamed. No, whole internet and not like a huge portion of the internet's blaming him for something that seemingly he had no knowledge of, didn't know about. Well, I think there's an opportunity for us to fill in as a low budget Mr. Beast. I'm going to show up with 48 bottles of water in Kenya. Clean water from PKA. Here you go boys. What do you just like, don't get the spirit of it. You're like,
Starting point is 00:19:35 I took a hundred Kenyan kids and put them in the octagon. This is horrible. He's like, I guess I just don't get the algorithm guys. So like I just. Number of people plus location equals views I just don't get the algorithm guys like Plus location equals use I don't It's you with like the big soy face open mouth on the thumbnail like a hungry distended belly kid The exact honest nothing I think I would actually switch that I would rather go to like a Uncontacted tribe or something and just do one of those drone shows above them.
Starting point is 00:20:07 Hmm. Just see what happens. Yeah. Then you'd have to show up right afterward. They think you were God or the devil. That's the risk. You know, I don't really communicate that. I think my old YouTube idea is still like in this modern age, it's coming to the point
Starting point is 00:20:22 where our morals have had drifted so low that i think it could work bum's night out i'm referring to of course this is when you go find yourself a real homeless man preferably with some vices and you give him ten thousand dollars and he can do whatever he wants with it but he's got to get it spent tonight like you hold the money you hold the money he tells you what to do with it. It's gotta all get gone tonight. And you just follow him around that night with cameras. And you know, you could, right from the start, I think it would be smart as a production thing. I don't think this is really fakery to be like,
Starting point is 00:20:54 and by the way, that limo is $2,000. If you wanna hop in there, we can start the night. And like, I just wanna put this homeless man in the limo. I wanna follow him around while he scores drugs. I guess I'll let him spend the money at that part. Can we do this for 1,700? I could do this for 700. Why does it gotta be 10 grand?
Starting point is 00:21:11 Cause we want to just a random Uber. It's kind of funny. Yeah. You can rent this electric bicycle. It's on me. Otis. I just want him to go to the liquor store and just get drunk and just kill himself though. I would it would be nice to have 10 grand Yeah, but you know, yeah, that would cost you ten thousand dollars to get a hopefully he does some stuff leading up to that
Starting point is 00:21:36 I want to follow him around town. Maybe go see club you get to keep what he doesn't spend. Oh, yeah, we're not That's true and you get to sell his organs.. So you're coming out on top, probably. There's probably one good set of organs in there. What if he's got great lungs? You know, stomach's probably not great. Oh, God. Speaking of great lungs, you sent me that link earlier from that huffing subreddit. Yeah, subreddit.
Starting point is 00:21:59 There's a subreddit dedicated to people who huff shit. And and the guy had was showing that he was like, basically they post pictures of like weird shit they've been huffing. He was like, yo bros, you tried this yet? And it'll be like PVC pipe glue. And I'm like, yeah, it does smell good actually.
Starting point is 00:22:16 Every time I've ever done any PVC work, I'm like, man, that smells nice. Then some guy will have like acetone for auto paint or something like that, some sort of paint thinner stuff. Taylor posts one and the guy has black widow killer. He's like, yo, 12 hits of this and you see the doo doo man. Yeah, it's all misspelled, but it says every time 11, and it's a picture of tarot spider killer,
Starting point is 00:22:38 that big orange can. And it goes- You're not do this people. Every time 11 huffs, fine, 12 huffs, poop man come. And then he didn't write anymore. I guess the poop man came. And did you scroll to the other picture, Kyle? No, there's a picture of what he's huffing. And then you hit the right arrow. And it's a picture of a poop stained mattress.
Starting point is 00:23:00 So this guy is clearly huffing so much spider killer that he's shitting himself. He's like an alcoholic waking up the next morning being like, why do you always take that 12th puff? It's kind of like that one. It's like after 2500 milligrams, the hat man does not respect gender pronouns. Yeah. Yeah, the hat man, he's the Benadryl. Robitussin. Yeah, Benadryl. Robitussin.
Starting point is 00:23:25 Yeah, Benadryl. Yeah, okay. Yeah, Robitussin is a real drug that people use if they can't get Tussin X. I guess Robitussin is not the real drug version of Tussin X, right? Used to be maybe, I think. I was talking to a friend of mine, like, who was way too deep into codeine and Tussin X and that shit in like his early mid-20s. who was way too deep into codeine and tusso-necks and that shit in like his early mid-20s.
Starting point is 00:23:47 We were just having a game night the other night and he was talking, he's like, oh yeah, it got bad. And there were times, you know, I would go in and I'd go to my local clinic and I would say I had the whole thing rehearsed. I'd say, I have dark green flem. I've been coughing so much my throat hurts. And then when the nurse would say,
Starting point is 00:24:06 are you allergic to anything? I'd very casually go, oh yeah, my main doctor said I can't have something called codeine. And if you can't give them codeine, that means they have to get TussinX. And he's like, and it was great, dude. We had a great thing rolling for a while. I'd go and I'd get this giant bottle of TussinX
Starting point is 00:24:22 and then I'd bounce around to different clinics like a couple of times a week. and then I'd bounce around to different clinics a couple times a week and then eventually he got banned from one of the clinics because they realized like this dude isn't fucking sick. There's no way you have the flu again sir for the 11th time in two months. So Tussin X is like Robitussin but it it has no acetaminophen in it, I believe. And so it's like a, a, a, it's like Vicodin. I think it's liquid Vicodin and that's a, an opiate, an opiate. Yeah. So it's like, instead of taking the pills, you're getting the liquid and he, I didn't, I don't know much about this class of drugs.
Starting point is 00:24:59 The way he explained it to me was that like a tiny sip of that. So like five milliliters or something of that Tussin X was equivalent to a much larger amount of actual Vicodin pills. And so he and a couple guys I knew would. Okay, it's something else. I think what it is is he was probably telling me he's allergic to acetaminophen and they were giving him so that must be what it is. Yeah. Because coding is the best drug like it I understand It's so good makes you a little itchy, but you get used to that. I
Starting point is 00:25:29 I think I'm not having a typical experience I it makes me like get like a throbbing kind of headachy type thing and As you know, I can kill all the time Yeah, it's the worst and I get off it as fast as possible. I prefer pain You might be like me because I'm allergic to a lot of painkillers Yeah, it's the worst and I get off it as fast as possible. I prefer pain. You might be like me because I'm allergic to a lot of painkillers. Like I have a bad reaction every time. Like I just get like headaches.
Starting point is 00:25:51 I get nauseous, like weird. Good thing to be allergic to. Those things are dangerous. Is it? What if you're ever burnt? They'll just give you what an RPG explodes on you and you're like, no, not the good stuff. I'm allergic. I'm allergic. Give me a habit for me.
Starting point is 00:26:09 You know, the degree burns that marrow is cooked. It's like it's like in two phase. Fuck me up. Oh, yeah. It's worth being a bit itchy if that's the alternative. I'm scrolling through this huffing community top all time. And it's so funny. Like I know some of these people are trolling obviously. Same thing with the gang stalking.
Starting point is 00:26:31 But that tarot thing, the poop man come, that was the top all time post there. The second one is just a guy who says psych ward and he's in a psych ward. Why did they give him a phone in the psych ward? Dude, mugshots of paint huffers. That's those are fun. Can you roll some of those up, Zach? Just just find us some good paint huffing mugshots because they they genuinely are hilarious.
Starting point is 00:26:57 I remember a cops episode and the cops roll up and there's this guy with spray paint all over his face and he's limping and they're like, what happened, Otis? He's like goddamn kids threw me off the bridge again These kids came along found this poor old homeless man so out of his mind on paint he couldn't resist and they tossed him off a small bridge What I'm a Warriors fan he's ready to steal Christmas A warrior's fan. He's ready to steal Christmas.
Starting point is 00:27:23 He does. Dude, that's a fucking team. Mood.com Jim Carrey. Oh, witness me. I like this guy. What color would you be? What color would you get, Taylor? The closest to my beard color.
Starting point is 00:27:39 Oh, I bet you could have real good. I feel like a beard would allow you to like, keep some residual. Yeah, you might get overdosed quickly. The black, the black guy almost like you almost can't tell. You know, that guy's like a joke. He's like, give me a brown.
Starting point is 00:27:57 You have Krylon, Hickory Brown. Is there something about metallic paints that makes it better? Everyone's choosing them. I think it's just because the people that did it with the beard and they did a natural color didn't get caught. That's exactly it. That's true. It's that the people who are stupid and awful enough
Starting point is 00:28:14 to have gold sparkle paint are also very much likely to get arrested while huffing gold sparkle paint. You know what else I would not- I'll do that to the president. I bet genuinely that price is an object to these people. And so they're probably getting the cheapest spray stuff they can. So like maybe house color or like wall color is less
Starting point is 00:28:37 or more expensive than gold. I choose to believe they go to Home Depot. Let him up some paint, Jesus. They go to Home Depot, huff right in the eyes and try to walk out unnoticed Sorry Excuse me, where's plumbing? They do they genuinely do that all the time MIDI
Starting point is 00:28:58 My friend that worked store security for a while He would they'd catch a guy and there'd be like three or four empty cans at his feet and he'd be trying to kill the fifth or that there was one guy that like hid in the bathroom overnight, like stood on the toilet. So they notice and they found him in the morning passed out in a pair in a pile of keyboard dusters, by the way, yeah, keyboard dusters have this additive in them as I'm sure many products do that tastes so horrific. Like, like there's no high worth that there's no high worth. You know how if you lick the odor and accidentally how that weird thing it does to your tongue, it's like that plus the bad part of a pecan.
Starting point is 00:29:36 And it won't go away. Yeah, it's terrible. I've told people I went to high school with guys. Four of them got a job working at the grocery store after school solely to do the Whippets. That's when, you know, what is it? It's not Cool Whip. What is the Ready Whip? The can one?
Starting point is 00:29:53 Well, Whippet is a brand. There's two brands. Oh, Whippet is a brand? Yeah, yeah. I think that's what they call getting the air out of a Ready Whip. Sure, sure, yeah it is. Yeah. Yeah, nitrous oxide in general. What do you call it when you've got like the the canisters and stuff? Whippets. Yeah, it's the same thing. You think you can call it shit or a night or something. Yeah, it's all night
Starting point is 00:30:15 You can go yeah, I've never done it But I've seen degenerates on my cop videos and I've seen of course on Amazon You can go right on Amazon and buy like a whippet kit. You can buy like all the canisters and like this, this dosing machine, you like put the canister in and like balloons up with it, or you can like shoot straight from the machine or whatever. I saw this lady get pulled over her whole floorboard was full of co2 cartridges and it's like, Oh, not co2, but nitrous oxide, I guess. It's like, what are you
Starting point is 00:30:43 doing tonight, ma'am? And it's like picking dozens and dozens of driving. They drive around and do whippets. Well, you can't do it just sitting still. Yeah, they're trying to have a good time. I know, I think it would have been this show. You were talking about it. I can't remember if it was either here or Steve-O.
Starting point is 00:31:01 It was one of the two, but they were talking about how on Amazon, they know exactly what the fuck you're doing because the increments they sell them in, like one, four, 24, or like 948 or some shit like that. We know what you're after. Yeah, I think we even, I think we did go through the Amazon listing for that
Starting point is 00:31:20 and that there were people in the comments leaving not so well coded. Ever, you forget the whole day. Totally delicious. I had a hangover or like just stuff that doesn't make sense. My kids don't talk to me. Yeah, I hate myself. Is it a bad drug?
Starting point is 00:31:38 Cause I've done it. I've done it. What I'm wondering though, is it a drug that you would associate with like bad people because like Drugs definitely have that right like you think when you think of the typical user of insert drug like Is that is that is that guy an ath? Oh meth. I think of a white guy every time he's missing some teeth His hair is greasy. He's way too skinny. This is good. This is good Continue with your meth stereotype and i'm gonna do some rapid fire drugs
Starting point is 00:32:05 You're gonna fill me in. Yeah, I don't think i'll play this game anymore I can I associate That's uh when I associate nights this is like a party thing for younger people Uh steve miller concert. Yeah, there was a guy there with uh, you know what those like Steve Miller concert. Yeah, there was a guy there with a you know what those like If you would have I like a settling that the things this was like neck high good for five feet tall canister of Nitrous oxide he was just selling balloons full of it. I bet you could turn that around and make so much money I bet I bet that giant tank costs a few hundred dollars and he's probably selling thousands of dollars worth of balloons. I
Starting point is 00:32:46 Know how illegal is that? That's another one of those I saw a YouTube video the other day and the whole premise was these are all the lead I tried all those legal drugs you've heard about and he's like chewing beetle bark. He's taking salvia he's taking all sorts of different drugs, he did red cat mushroom tea and It just I Didn't I knew those drugs were legal but I didn't think that they were are they any good Yeah, that's what the video was about varying degrees of either like what was the most tempting one? I Didn't want the whole video, but I watched the red cap
Starting point is 00:33:22 Tea part where he was by the way red cap mushrooms are deadly in the right quantity, but he was eating the right quantity and making a tea of it. And he seemed like he was super like relaxed. He compared it to almost dying. Like Xanax. He said it was like a few Xanax. He said he was like really chilled out and helped with sleep. He said, speaking of nitrous and nitrous, dude, out of nowhere,
Starting point is 00:33:45 we'd mentioned Milo on PKN, and then he came out, and he used to work with Kanye West, and that Kanye has a nitrous addiction that's being fueled by his dentist. Says that kind of- I did see that picture of Kanye. He's got like the thing on his nose with like double hoses coming out of either side.
Starting point is 00:34:07 He looked like the villain from Mad Max Fury Road. He looked like a Morton Joe. He does. Find a picture that's like, yeah, this is what Kanye or Milo said about Kanye and it's next to this picture of Immortem Joe. There's a reason Ye, formerly known as Kanye West, is no longer capable of successfully releasing music or clothing. In fact, there are several reasons,
Starting point is 00:34:29 but the most serious and the most recent is his dentist, Thomas Connolly. Connolly got Ye hooked on nitrous laughing gas. It is my belief that Connolly sought to diminish Ye's mental faculties so that Connolly and his business associates could extract millions of dollars from him. Earlier this year, I uncovered the fraud and intervened.
Starting point is 00:34:45 Yay, hooked on nitrous blew up our relationship on purpose by proposing something that he knew I'd have to resign over because I told him so. The resurrection of his longtime idol fantasy of making pornography. Thomas Connolly is a dangerous predator who targets African-American celebrities into whose mouth he puts fake diamonds, as I suspect he did to Lil Yachty. He must be stopped. I filed a complaint with the California Dental Board, the highest board.
Starting point is 00:35:10 They already ministered. Yeah, the California Dentist Board has assured me that they've investigated themselves and they've found no wrongdoing. I'm looking at that mask. Jack, we had that to our shop real quick. Give us one of those. B-PAP users catching strays over here.
Starting point is 00:35:24 Oh. Isn't it cool? Yeah, everyone's making fun. You're like, well, I us one of those. Yeah, with the MEPAP users catching strays over here. Is it cool? Yeah, everyone's making fun. You're like, well, I need it to breathe. I'm not doing drugs. What are the what are the odds we're thinking that this is real? 100. Well, it is it is Milo. So you don't know. I saw the picture of Kanye with a mask.
Starting point is 00:35:39 I saw a different picture than the one Zach showed that you could see the mask. Oh, I was meaning about the whole like a sinister dentist and all that like. Oh, of course. Well, of course he does. Like where else would he? Yeah, that makes sense. No, I believe all of that.
Starting point is 00:35:53 Really? Okay. Yeah, I mean he was. It's Kanye West. Look, that is a picture of him. There's no way. That's a white eye underneath there. That's a woman where he has the most svelte shoulders I've ever seen on a man.
Starting point is 00:36:08 Why would they have that picture there if that weren't Kanye? Maybe that's the dentist. He's a fucking super villain. Yeah, that's the dentist. I believe everything. I think he's doing a lot more than what Milo's letting on. And that's the dentist. Yeah, I guess, I guess Kanye's- No, I believe that 100%, why not? Yeah, Milo Yiannopoulos wouldn't just talk this on the internet. He wouldn't just make things up online.
Starting point is 00:36:31 But I don't know, Kanye, you know, he's gone out there a few times. And this isn't out there drug for a guy in his 40s to pick up. I would like to think everything he said was said in his right mind. 100%. When he was showing 4chan graphs to people, like on the news, that was very fun. I wish he
Starting point is 00:36:50 kept doing that. That was so fun. Just, you know, they're trying to get him to talk about his new album and he's like, uh-huh, I bet you would want to know you're Jewish. And like, just accusing anyone and everyone, like a black guy of being Jewish,. Just his that's his idea of who's behind. I'm not going to say what kind of doctor it was. Yeah, it was a Jewish doctor. It was a Jewish doctor. And the way he says that with like the hammer drop. I feel bad.
Starting point is 00:37:19 Like he's obviously having like a fucking mental health episode, but that means fucking great. Yeah, it was funny. True and true. It was it was good to have him going off for a bit. You know, if you don't if you don't make use of the memes, then he went through all of that for nothing. That's true. That's very true. Speaking of memes and politics adjacent,
Starting point is 00:37:38 are you staying involved? You think you're going to go another round to some degree? I think so. I aged like three years in nine months. Politics is fucking rough, dude. There's nothing like getting $10 million spent to slander you. Yeah, I grew up on the internet. I've been on YouTube and whatnot for years and years now. I'm used to it.
Starting point is 00:38:02 I got thick skin. It really doesn't bother me that much. But there's something about going to your local Texas roadhouse and sitting at the bar and seeing 19 ads play back to back about why you're the devil. It's like, Oh, wow, this is this is gnarly and people start giving you a weird looks like Hey, you look like the guy on TV that said he wants veterans to kill himself and kicks puppies. It's like, No, no, really. It's almost like that was paid for by people who don't want me to get elected. But no,
Starting point is 00:38:28 we came really close, man. We were, I mean, as a fucking YouTuber who's never done this before, we took in like one of the best funded Republican incumbents in the state of Texas. And we got outspent $10 million to one and lost by 407 votes. Damn. It was wild. It was about a percent. So if it was just an organic campaign battle, you would have won for sure. Uh, yeah, yeah, basically.
Starting point is 00:38:55 And what this kind of gets me in a little trouble. If APAC didn't get involved in the last minute, we probably would have won. APAC got involved and spent in the last, I think, couple weeks, I think they spent like $1.5 million against me. They do like to do that. Yeah. Yeah. When I saw your video about,
Starting point is 00:39:13 basically you made a video, you said I lost, this is some of the things, and I'm pretty proud of how close I came. Part of me was wondering if you were a little relieved. Like, you know, you've got a pretty good gig right now. Did you really want that other one? The way I compared it, and this is a very woody comparison,
Starting point is 00:39:33 so I think you'll like this. The way I compared it was, you know, it was like exercise and ice cream, where it's like, all right, if I win, I will not enjoy it. I'm gonna be doing two years of something I really, I think is important, but I don't want to do like, I've got a sweet gig now. I make pretty good money. I do what I want.
Starting point is 00:39:51 I get to run businesses with my friends and do some cool stuff. But I think it's better for the country. And I think I get to get involved in some things that I really care about. And I think it's stuff that you don't enjoy in the moment, but it has a lasting impact for the better. But if I lose, it's like ice cream where it's like, OK, I didn't do the thing that I know is better for me in the long run and better for the country and all that. But I get to go back to this, you know, I get to go to do whatever I want to basically just. And so, like, you know, I left it up to the voters.
Starting point is 00:40:20 I gave it everything that we had. And I'm really happy with my team and whatnot. But yes, long, long answer to short question. I'm incredibly relieved. You nailed it. I did love that analogy. I know exactly what you're trying to say. Good, good. I figured you might. It was a wild, it was a wild experience and not one I think I want to do again, at least anytime soon. Okay. Well, this is a good run then for, you know, maybe 15 years from now.
Starting point is 00:40:47 Type two slide. That would be cool. Yeah. You know, it's, I learned a lot. I made a lot of good connections and I learned so much about how politics works. It's not even funny. It's a little scary. But yeah, it was incredible. Really, my opponent did a terrible job of digging into my past and the internet and shit I said online because my God, if they had pulled up any of the clips from PKA, I'd be fucked. They never did. I was thinking about that while you were running and I was like, I hope nothing comes up that
Starting point is 00:41:22 damages my friend Brandon. That's kind of what I just thought the whole time. You know what? Hey, whatever comes up that damages my friend Brandon. But that's kind of what I just thought the whole time. Like, you know what? Hey, whatever comes up, you know, I'm an Internet comedian for for half of my job. Like, are you really like, do you hold it against Dave Chappelle or Shane Gillis when they stuff like say stuff like that? Like if you're in the in the guys at comedy, like I think anything, anything goes. Yeah, they did. Right. They like canceled Gillis's career there for a while.
Starting point is 00:41:44 They did for a while. Yeah. He got fired from SNL. Oh, I know that. Yeah. Yeah. That was, but that's SNL. You know, it's when you go out on your own and you know, you're, you're Shane Gillis and you're, you know, that much funnier than SNL. I think it was for the successfully argued that like, Hey, I didn't live my whole life preparing to be a politician. Because they had videos of him talking about how he liked it.
Starting point is 00:42:09 How Lifting was coming, and he's smoking pot. And there's a whole host of things in Schwarzenegger's past that might be great. He was accosting those women at Carnival. Yeah, yeah. But he just said, hey, I wasn't always preparing to be in politics like some of these other guys, but this is the me you get now. And I brought that up a lot to where it's like, you know, hey, that just proves that I'm serious about the fact that I never wanted to be a politician.
Starting point is 00:42:33 If I did, I would have left a lot cleaner life. But you know, it's just that I thought was important. So I'm like, you know what? Hey, I'll throw my hat in the ring. I would I want I would like rather have a politician have some like normal person dirt in their past. Like, like a 14 year old who like aspires to be a politician and like lives and makes every decision based on that eventuality. Like that's weird. Those are the worst kind of people.
Starting point is 00:42:57 Those are the worst kind of politicians in my mind are the ones that have just been like grooming themselves to fit whatever molds they think they need to, to win an office. Yeah. That are the only way. They can go out there and like make fucking Hillary Clinton hot sauce comments at black people or whatever fucking nonsense they want to do. And like, they're just, they're water into whatever, you know, the shape of whatever vessel they currently occupy.
Starting point is 00:43:18 Like that's, yeah, it's a creepy kind of person. They've got no virtues. They just ebb and flow to the shape of their container. Yeah. Yeah. It's like you, this, this, there's not an ounce of sincerity in of person. They've got no virtues. They just ebb and flow to the shape of their container. Yeah, yeah. It's like, there's not an ounce of sincerity in this person. Whereas if it's like, but then there's also too much. Who is that lady who's like, we all shoot dogs.
Starting point is 00:43:35 All of us. All of us. I love you. I love you. I love you. You know what I mean? That's too much sincerity. But you know what?
Starting point is 00:43:43 She shut her career out? Yeah, if it came out and they were like, she's actually doing meth. And she was like, no, I'm not. I'd immediately believe her. Cause I'm like a woman who bragged borderline about shooting a dog would also probably be like, yeah, I do meth.
Starting point is 00:43:56 What of it? Like they wouldn't have their guard up for that. That's such a funny thing to write in your book. She shot a goat too. She said it smelled like a goat killed it. Yeah. I, if I were her opponent politically, I wouldn't let anyone know she ever shot a goat. I would want to make it seem as though only one animal had ever crossed that threshold. Only dog. Only dog.
Starting point is 00:44:17 Yeah. This dog was past his prime. He was two and a half. That's the first time she ever picked up a firearm and it was to kill a dog and throw its body in a gravel pit. I had always wanted to do it. I had always dreamed about it. I started small when I was younger. I had a revealing thought this week. So I'm in the game and I'm murdering turtles in Elden Ring
Starting point is 00:44:43 and I genuinely felt bad about it. The turtles don't even hit back after you strike them. They just die with a painful scream. And I'm like, it feels rough. And my wife said, you know, you've done that in real life to a chicken. I was like, man, I felt worse about the video game turtles than I did Henrietta, who had to go.
Starting point is 00:45:07 Yeah, that's- Didn't have to go at all. Didn't have to. I was hungry. It was like it was like they charge up the electric chair and all the conduits are glowing and the governor calls and he's like, actually, let him let him live. And the guy and the warden goes wrong number. That's what he knew or you were fucking Percy putting the dry sponge up under that electric cap.
Starting point is 00:45:34 See what would happen. Uh huh. Man, I hated Percy so much. Oh, how could you not? He did such a fantastic job at being great job. He was like a Joffrey level character of like, oh, I don't like you. One thing I just like that actor.
Starting point is 00:45:51 I have Jackie Gleason in my head. What's his name? Who played Joffrey? Oh, Jack Gleason. I think you're right. Oh, okay. Yeah, anyway, yeah. I dislike Joffrey so much.
Starting point is 00:46:01 It took me a while to put together like emotionally that the actor was just pretending. I think there's no way. I, he quit retired. He was like, he, he's like, I don't really want to be an actor. And, and when he did this whole, uh, he, he had this whole, um, I don't know what they call it, there's this thing in England where they go to this college or something and they speak for a lot of like, I don't know, maybe Shakespeare spoke there or something.
Starting point is 00:46:31 And they do like these it's almost like a proper Ted talk, but the English version. And they just kind of talk about it. And he did one where he was just sort of talking about his career and what it was like playing that character and dealing with the, you know, the world hating that character so much. It is one of the all-time best villains It's top three for me that umbridge bitch from Harry Potter though That's my that's my most hated villain of all time. I hate that person so much the one in hate that person Yeah, yeah, like like if she was like a big dude with like a black cape on you like I mean that capes kind of chill I don't know about he about dude works out. Look at
Starting point is 00:47:06 him. But but it's this little cunt. It's this little old cunt with a pink tea set torturing children torturing children for fun. It's it's just because she likes the power and the thrill of it like just evil super. Yeah, she sounds cool. She's like an evil HR manager, which like she's figured out how she can abuse kids without getting, you know, and you might be like, no, Darth Vader, Darth Vader's not evil. Darth Vader's just misguided, right? Like,
Starting point is 00:47:31 like he never like went and tortured somebody for funsies. He's always got a goal and it's always to make the universe. All those kids or something. He had to. Oh, okay. Why did he torture him though? He didn't like burn them alive. He just cut it, got all their heads off. We he went to the Jedi temple and just and then they're like master what we do and then he goes That's on and then he just kills them all that was a hard-ass scene when he killed all those little kids That was when Star Wars was you think that was necessary though for what for like his goals? Yeah, yeah, yeah, he had orders to take them all out
Starting point is 00:48:04 They wanted all the Jedi's gone so they could consolidate power over the galactic empire with like, I would kidnap the Jedi's make my Sith army more powerful over time. They did. Well, they did that. And in the new, in the new stuff, they're like, oh, and I have thousand Jedi escaped. So they all get stories now. So because they're making tons and tons of more Star Wars properties. I'm not going to watch more stuff. No, I'm not watching any more Star Wars stuff. I'm done with that.
Starting point is 00:48:33 But the Game of Thrones shit, I'll admit, it's dragging me back in. I there that there I didn't see the finale. Was it good? No, it's bad. I haven't seen it, but everybody's saying it's bad. I don't care that it's bad. I'm more into the universe but everybody's saying it's bad. I don't care that it's bad I'm more into the universe I'm trying to I'm trying to view Game of Thrones as a universe where fun stuff can happen and I can just enjoy the little Stories and characters. There's another show coming called like night of the seven kingdoms or something like that I think there's three or four more in production. They're gonna make a fucking universe over there Is kit Harrington gonna get a show? I thought it was so I wanted to so bad
Starting point is 00:49:06 I wanted to show where Kit Harrington was with that redheaded Wildling guy and maybe and they were just running around north of the wall doing cool shit Did I can I tell you the about the final episode of season two without spoiling it? Yeah. Yeah, I don't mind Yeah, it episode of season two without spoiling it. Yeah. Yeah. I don't mind. Yeah. It, uh, it is a teaser for season three. Whatever you know about the universe right now is exactly as much as you will know at the end of that episode. There's like no developments really there's like one ish, but yeah, I thought every once in a while I'll catch a spoiler for a show I'm watching on the internet and Then I watch shows with my wife and I pretend that I guessed it successfully
Starting point is 00:49:53 I don't know Jackie. I think around 43 minutes. This guy's gonna be toast I like the universe. I like the the, and I like the fucking swords and shit. I really liked the end of the last episode when Raniera... Is that her name? Is that the blonde queen's name? When Raniera's standing there with, like, her three or four giant dragons and her new dragon riders, and she's giving the mean face. Like, I was like, yeah, give him the mean face. I was like, that's pretty cool.
Starting point is 00:50:27 And then, but I heard then the last episode's not great that it almost feels like there should be a, feels like an ultimate episode of a good season. There's two new dragon riders. Where it should have ended. Like that mean face on the cliff was where the season should have been done. And after watching ours last one
Starting point is 00:50:45 I agree like it's yes you Taylor I'll spoil a bit of House of Dragons So they've got this problem They got a lot of dragons because they've been breeding them forever But you really need like a neo type character to ride one of these dragons and he has to have pure blood or whatever or like Targaryen blood or Valyrian blood blood maybe two and So that they're all out of people there's only so many kids and she's like i got all these dragons and nobody to ride them sir eric or whatever the fuck your name is i've been looking through the
Starting point is 00:51:14 paperwork and you're 164th targaryen he's like oh wonderful my queen would you like a dragon he's like oh i guess because the process of finding out if the dragon will accept you as a life or death thing The dragon either bows to you or burns you at at least that's what i've seen so far I think maybe uh one of the queen's daughters that little black girl had an issue But she survived because she's a main character. She's got plot armor, but everybody else The the dragon either bows or it fucking kills you Sir, Eric goes in there the fun roasts him alive and a couple of bystanders just for funsies I guess he's not accurate with the fire and these are big dragons. She's got on the bench
Starting point is 00:51:55 So her like buddy comes up this idea. She's like, you know, I used to work in a whorehouse Ones of bastards out there from all these Targaryen princes, everywhere. And so they put out the word to the whorehouses, like any Targaryen bastards come to the castle and see if you can ride a dragon. They literally just put it out there. They don't lie, they don't mislead people.
Starting point is 00:52:16 And there's like 50 of them in a room. And they all go up to the dragon and the dragon goes ham. It just starts burning them all alive until you get down to two guys who actually can ride the dragons. And suddenly she goes from one dragon to three. And it's a cool scene at the end where the bad guy shows up and he's like, Oh no.
Starting point is 00:52:35 And he's like trying so hard to turn his dragon around because there's, you know, there's more dragons. It seems like this is a show entirely about dragons. Well, this show is about the death of the dragons from the world. And everybody's going to die at the end of this show. Everybody's going to die.
Starting point is 00:52:50 Like this is a this is a Shakespearean tragedy. This isn't like a good guy winning at the end kind of thing. This is something that's going to happen because there were some black Targaryens. And then I saw Game of Thrones. None of those. None of those. Those must all die out. Yeah, something something happens. What happened to someone last Targaryen? There's someone that's a little too blonde
Starting point is 00:53:07 that shows up between the two. Shut that down. Yeah, yeah. It's pretty, of the people that died, you could see. So Targaryens have a distinctive look. They have very long blonde hair and blonde hair is not common in this universe if you're not a Targaryen.
Starting point is 00:53:22 And sure enough, all these people are Targaryens. Like I think They were legit bastards But the dragon in like didn't like them They like they won't get me again and it seems like you guys are already on the downturn of this show to realize I'm buckled in this is a ride. Okay, like the fact that it's so there's shows like from That's like that little independent show that we kind of like, but it's been jerking us around.
Starting point is 00:53:46 I ain't going to watch no more From because that's like a $300,000 an episode type bullshit. But this is a $21 million an episode. Every episode is like a little movie. When they show those dragons, it looks cool. And I like two or three of the characters. There's like two or three characters I like. I like Raniera. She's fucking ripped, by the way. I don't know what her workout routine is, but she's got all sorts of like muscles bulging
Starting point is 00:54:10 out from her free. I think the actress is trans, not trans, but like intersex or something. She's a very very, I think. Oh, yeah. I saw the pronoun game. I didn't really know what was up with that. Yeah. And then Matt Smith, you know, the former Doctor Who.
Starting point is 00:54:24 Yeah. I only like Dr. Who. I don't watch any of that? Yeah. And then Matt Smith, you know, the former Doctor Who. Yeah, I only like Dr. Who I don't watch any of that other shit. I dig him whenever he's on screen. And then there's a there's a character that's supposedly 16, but he looks 30 and he's got an eye patch. That guy's hard as fuck. I like every time he's on screen, I'm intrigued. I'm waiting for him to be me.
Starting point is 00:54:42 I don't know. You don't know the extent of his cruelty and malice yet But I think I think it's gonna be fun to see him go seems to have no limits No, you know, he did his brother in like that and kind of enjoyed it and he stole his little knife the strong boy, right Strong they met in the air on dragons in season one. Oh sure. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he didn't mean to do that That was the way I'm getting over. Yeah. Yeah, like you could tell you could so after he does it he's like fuck Why?
Starting point is 00:55:10 Like to his dragon, you know the the dragon went hard, but he was just looking to spook the guy. I'm sure you're right I didn't see that though. I to me didn't he likes The head out on his dragon and chase the kid down and catch him in midair and bite him in two and murder him but For sure, but there wasn't a struggle to it. It was just that he was he was he was after him He was chasing him, but you could see the look on his face when he killed the kid. He was like, oh Well, well, I thought we'd rough him up a little Okay, I thought we'd put a good scare in him You know, I didn't know we were going to eat him and scatter his flesh through across the beach. But that seems to have been the game. Yeah. I'm still into the
Starting point is 00:55:49 show. Taylor develops a little bit of hatred for shows sometimes. He's, I don't know what racism is for TV shows, but it seems like once you get that mean and hateful grudge and you're like, you don't never. Dude, I spent eight years watching Game of Thrones and none of it ended up mattering and so they said we're making another game of thrones show teehee and i said i'm not watching it i don't think that's hatred i think that's like i'm a i'm a kicked principles and you're only digging deeper big it i'm i'm i'm bigoted against we make some shows that they didn't even do well the first time if they made a sopranos too if they, if they exhumed Tony and they get
Starting point is 00:56:28 him back in the mix. Did you see that abomination of a Sopranos movie they made? I do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The one about Tony's son. It was like Sons of Newark or something like that. Something like that. Tony was such a big part of the Sopranos. They did a prequel. They made, they used his son to play Tony. It was awful. It's terrible. Yeah, I'm sure it was because Tony wasn't in it. I like the dragons, man. I don't know. I like the fucking dragons and I guess I can stomp it. I said I like the dragons. He likes the dragons.
Starting point is 00:56:58 I heard I like to fuck the dragons. I'd love to fuck the dragons. I like the fucking dragons. I like... My real complaint about that show has not enough drag nudity it's not the wokeness oh there's tons of dragon nudity it's not the black Targaryens so much although I just find the black Targaryens confusing it the the confused the thing I don't like like an ethnic line with mixed race people in the family that's not confusing and convoluted and difficult. I don't know where they came from. I'd like to read some backstory.
Starting point is 00:57:28 I need the clip notes or something to understand where they came from. But what I really miss is all the nude. Like hilariously inbred. Like it's very odd to have these two lines, but you know, hey whatever. It doesn't make much sense. Specifically Kyle, the female nudity.
Starting point is 00:57:40 Cause they're hitting their targets with the male nudity, but that's not what I'm looking for. They're hitting right down the middle dude they're batting like you guys agreed with my edict last episode yes did you say 10 to 1 or how do you want for every male nudity and television it must be balanced out by eight instances of female nudity do you know how many actresses in the original Game of Thrones series were porn stars or nude models like Like I know that Tyrion's bitch, right? Dozens. Like they were made.
Starting point is 00:58:08 Roz was I think also a real prostitute, but anytime they would have like an orgy scene or they would have like a whorehouse scene where there's like eight girls standing there naked. They would be porn stars or like nude models or like strippers or something. So everybody was fine with getting naked. And I miss all that nudity. I miss those titties. Yeah, lifted her skirt while riding away on the wagon backwards.
Starting point is 00:58:48 Meanwhile, there's like main character white guys with beards eight seasons in what he's like now, is this Boromir? I couldn't tell you how Ned Stark died. But ask me about Arabia. Rain man, he can tell you what how her pussy hair was cut in that scene on the car. on the car. How many apples were sitting next to her? Oh That's actually a controversy by the way the wild art So I don't remember her name her name
Starting point is 00:59:15 But there was a wildling woman and the later seasons who was like leading Bran around and when he was on his adventures Remember that? Yeah, she was kind of pretty. She wanted to grow her. She had to do a nude scene and she was like, I should grow my bush out, right? Because you know, I'm a I'm a wildling woman. So we should either grow it out or put on a mercant. And they're like, no, actually trimming a little more. A little more. You're a savage, but you're not a beast. You know, that was she was like, D giving us the hookup. They literally did that.
Starting point is 00:59:47 And that was I felt like that was kind of an example of a little bullshit. Right. Because I'm always preaching that I want things to be like the characters should be and whatever. So, like, yeah, she should have a big old beaver if she's a wildling woman. I can imagine a wildling woman with like a landing strip. It doesn't make any fucking sense. Arm bit hair like she should be hairy. She's a wildling savage.
Starting point is 01:00:06 She's just shaved down there, I think, if I remember correctly. She's definitely not. Merkin is one of my favorite vocabulary words, by the way. Merkin is a pussy wig. Is it just a pussy wig or is it any kind of pubic wig? It was originally a pussy wig because it came from a time when whorehouses had to
Starting point is 01:00:25 Shave their pubic hair because of like the pubic lice issue But that was so but you wanted to it was a bad look to have it shaved because they knew you'd had Pubic lice so you'd throw in a fake bush, you know Doesn't that just get the purpose of not having a place for lice to live or am I mistaken? I don't think the lice enjoy the the Merkin. I don't know what a showbush is a showbush. It's definitely a it's definitely a cover up for like stage and film. Whenever, oftentimes, whenever there's going to be bottomless ladies,
Starting point is 01:00:57 they'll throw on a although I mean, more it's cheating. They make you think that you're seeing. Really, you're just seeing a big old wig. I see that as well It's a little bit of a lie and we hate liars here To show you become president. We'll put a stop to that. You're gonna hate when you find out about CGI That's why Rosario Dawson's ago Rosario Dawson did front full frontal nudity and she's just completely shaved They're like zooming in on her labia. She doesn't give a fuck and then who was the one Oh Demi Moore if you guys you guys at home listening
Starting point is 01:01:30 grab your cell phones real quick and Ask your at go ahead and Google Demi Moore Playboy full frontal and maybe throw beaver in Because I really mean this picture before I know yeah Maybe throw Beaver in because you literally sent me this picture before. I know. Yeah. Or a pussy to me. Demi Moore is like one of the most beautiful movie stars of all time. I like tall women. She's like she's very tall. She's like very hot striptease came out at a time when I was a young man.
Starting point is 01:01:56 But I think I saw it somehow anyway. And then G.I. Jane, where the big old knockers are swinging around, trying to get into that seal boat is fucking hot. Always thought Demi Moore was sexy. But then I so at some point I went down the rabbit hole of Demi Moore nudes and my god, that is the hairiest vagina I've ever seen on a white woman. Thank you for the qualifier. Yeah, she looks like a fucking wildling. Like it's wild. Her hit, like her thighs are all hairy. It goes up to her belly button almost it's crazy Hmm
Starting point is 01:02:27 Don't like that. I know what he does agree to disagree. He loves oh god love murk Actually, no, woody would hate murkins more than anyone. Oh, wait, because it is just a lie to him. Yeah for the wrong reason It's the qualifications He's got a belly button murkin kyle's like where are the pussy lips? And Woody's like, that hair's not even real. It's not even real, I'm not being able to see it. Yeah, it's a weird thing to like. I like that peach fuzz on the lower back,
Starting point is 01:02:54 like that action, the whole thing. I'm just, you can't stop me. I have never noticed that on a woman. No. Not that it's not there, but it's never been a thing I've looked at and paid attention to. Like feet. The feet are kind of just there. What is it? Like the morning that I wake up and I thank God that I'm not one of those people attracted to feet?
Starting point is 01:03:18 Yeah. Almost the other way. You wish you could enjoy them? Yeah. I feel like like not necessarily me right now But like teenaged me who couldn't get action like being into boobs and pussy is a challenge, right? Yeah, but I feel like 16 year old me could be like I really want to see those feet and she'd be like, hey Yeah, right on a beach town. You just go and you know Imagine what a dream that would be. Two blocks from my house, there were hundreds,
Starting point is 01:03:45 if not a thousand feet to lurk it, to what is the word of it? Leer? Leer, that's what they do. I don't go for it. Leer. To leer it, that would be, that would be. Even in your own view, you'd be leering.
Starting point is 01:03:58 Like, yeah. Yeah. Even those AOC eyes right at some. Yeah. Right. What if fetishism is just like an epigenetic hole over Even those AOC eyes right at some. What if what fetishism is just like an epigenetic holdover from like the the old fashioned like fucking Amish days just way back when when like, oh, she's showing some ankle. Oh, it could be.
Starting point is 01:04:15 We have to we have to analyze the Amish likelihood of foot fetishism versus the general population. This is not a time period, but you know what I'm getting at? Yeah, this is where that money could be going. They use a hard year for the Amish. Don't they don't they say like 1699 or something like no tech after after some there's like a year. It's like how much paradise from weird Al Yankovic. Yeah, but I think it's based on Yes, it is. But I think it's factual. I think it's based on reality. I think they cut themselves off on a year like like pre 86 machine guns they've got they get they like, Oh, is that
Starting point is 01:04:49 a pretty I think I think you are right spinning wheel you've got there. Okay, it's it's grandfather did and then good good. How did Amish people decide that mid 1800s technology was just the right amount? Let's see what this guy on Quora says around 18. They never did make that decision. It is largely a myth that the Amish froze time around 1850 and refuses to acknowledge anything newer. I say largely because oh my God, dude, just say a fucking year. There's so much bullshit here. This guy's answering questions on Quora all day and he's this verbose. Like what else? What else is his retard answer? I think he might like to hear himself talk. Yeah, what other questions? You've seen the documentary about the Amish family, right,
Starting point is 01:05:31 Taylor? Where they're doing that something, something Shpringa or something. What's that? Shpringa. Yeah. Shpringa. There's like this old almost like DVD documentary about that and about the Amish sort of like pouring over into the local community and the bars and the drug life and and and sort of getting mixed up in that and then not knowing if they're gonna stay in the Amish community or not it's so weird aren't you glad that that's not where you're from can you imagine like being born into that it could be kind of fun actually. No, it couldn't, Taylor.
Starting point is 01:06:05 You'd be crippled like in every way. If you think about it, what do you mean how? They grew up on a fucking 1850s farm and then they've got to make their way in the world. Oh, I was meaning like, if I grew up like that, I really doubt I would be one of the people that ventured out. I'd probably be like, I don't like this world.
Starting point is 01:06:25 I like the world I'm familiar with, and I'd probably go back. Well, think about it. If you teleport to the year 2150 for like two weeks, would you want to go back? And you're like, dude, I'm way more familiar with 2024. I can't fucking deal with this shit. I can't deal with the teleportation. I'm just Yeah, everybody's mean that's the means
Starting point is 01:06:51 Physical pain now Thank you Awesome libtard meme and I Yeah, I wouldn't like that the liberal means are still weaker in 2150. They still haven't quite figured it out. I just would hate to have, I feel like that's just crippling in every way to grow up in that society. I can just imagine your early years being spent driving the wagon to Newtown to sell blankets and butter and like seeing normal children drive by in a minivan with Nintendo DS's.
Starting point is 01:07:27 Yeah, but like, I'm pretty sure self report. They're much happier than non Amish people. I think their dopamine receptors actually work. Like I'm pretty sure if you came, if you came in Amish kid like Adderall and made him play Fortnite he might die. Oh yeah. Can you imagine seeing a child smile when they're handed an apple?
Starting point is 01:07:49 Like a kid who's like, oh, thank you. I don't know why I signed like this, but I'm happy for an apple. You know? More likely to speak German or something. Some old German or something, like Dwight Schrute style. Yeah, they are doing like Dwight Schrute. Dutch? Pennsylvania Dutch I've got in my head.
Starting point is 01:08:07 Sure, they're both similar to Germans. Tall, blonde people. Yeah, that's a I don't know, man. That would be a good premise for like a horror movie, I think, like a closed off. You always need to solve the problem. Why we don't just call the cops on a cell phone, like have it take place in an Amish community. And then there can be this whole thing we're like, leave your cell phones up there
Starting point is 01:08:28 English. And then we go down to the Amish community where the weird shit happens. Yeah, I'd like I want to go tool around an Amish farm. Are you allowed to do that? Like kind of like a like a petting zoo? I can go feed them with an open palm. Who is it? What is the what's the thing where you're you're allowed like so they so they don't you know get involved in too much inbreeding and such like you're actually allowed to go there and like basically they ask you to fuck their wives or some shit like that. Like to join the farmers only.com. I've done that. No,
Starting point is 01:09:03 I want to say it's a real thing unless it's just like an urban legend I've done that. No, I want to say it's a real thing, unless that's just like an urban legend I've heard, but somebody brought it up the other day. The Amish are definitely not letting English come breed their daughters to prevent incest. And if anything, they're like, I got it handled. Little incest goes a long way. Don't worry, don't worry. There's a third generation where it's a problem.
Starting point is 01:09:19 Kyle, have you seen the movie Witness? Are you familiar with it? Yeah, of course. Harrison Ford goes and lives amongst the Amish. Yeah, yeah. I like the Tim Allen version Alan bird he impresses the hottest Amish chick with his barn building skills and fucks her and then solves crime I think there's a Tim Allen movie where him and Kirsty Alley are on the run And he goes and he goes and hides and lives amongst the Amish. It's it's also pretty good It's a it's a fun premise for a movie because we've There's not that many on me You forget that they exist up there that there's this these communities of people who are living like it's olden days
Starting point is 01:09:52 I know a lot of them don't or they live like this mixed reality like that guy I met who was like working in a machine gun shop building suppressors and had his own like machine guns and suppressors And he's like yeah, we just, you know, that doesn't count. It's like his phone was in that shed at the end of his driveway. They had to go out and use that. And he was also the guy with the tractor where John Deere held the note and he still owed one dollar. And he bought.
Starting point is 01:10:21 Oh, so he didn't own the tractor. You drive a tractor. Nothing wrong with that You can't be owning one. That's crazy. Talk. That is see that that feels like Like these workarounds were like, okay, if you genuinely believe this as your religious belief Don't you think God would know you're fucking him like it's like the the Old Testament is just a long story of the Jews Technically not sinning and God technically not smiting them. Yeah. Yeah, you'll see like clips like religious clips of like a rabbi in New York be like, our holy book says never to leave the house on Friday on Shabbos. So we honor that by tying
Starting point is 01:10:59 string around the light post so that it's technically all indoors in our city block. And I'm like, there's no way that they're like walking outside and they're thinking God's looking down like perfect. This is so what I meant. I hear shit like that. I think like we called it, we brought it up on unsubscribe recently, but we called it the Jew wire. It's like every time I hear something like that, I immediately think like, damn,
Starting point is 01:11:26 that is the most anti-Semitic bullshit I've ever heard. I look it up and like, God damn, they did it. All right. That's actually real. You hear some of that stuff and you're like, oh, okay. Nazi, like actual Nazi. Then you look it up and you're like, oh damn. New York Jew wire, the New York Jew tunnels. It's like, oh wow, fuck that's
Starting point is 01:11:41 What is the circumcision? What? No one loves the Jewish people more than me. it's like, oh wow, fuck this. What is the circumcision? What? No one loves the Jewish people more than me. I always say that. Maybe Donald J. No, no one, not even him. Second to Donald J. Trump, of course. Many people are saying it, not me, but many people.
Starting point is 01:11:57 Not a good Jewish actor. He said he was the best president for black people since maybe Abraham Lincoln, maybe Abraham Lincoln. He said he was better, he said that he's better than Abraham Lincoln for black people to Jokes actually got if he means it it's insanity, but it's a great joke by the time the slaves actually got freed Lincoln had been shot. So like technically Yeah, who came afterward? That's that's the guy getting overlooked that Who came after Lincoln some fucking idiot? Well, he's on it. He's on the 50s. So
Starting point is 01:12:27 And I and of course, I as a grant I fully support grant. No I fully support israel in their you know, jenis, um war Mm-hmm, and their in their war efforts, um to to fight back of those palestinians who attacked them Last year around october Palestinians who attacked them last year around October. It's a war the same way. Like if I get into the ring with Brock Lesnar, we'll have a war. No, he's going to bam bam me around, smack.
Starting point is 01:12:54 You should. Well, you shouldn't have fucked his ugly daughter. That's all I'm saying. You fucked up. If you go and you fuck Brock Lesnar's ugly daughter and you don't, dude, have you never seen a picture of Jack, Zach, show us Brock Lesnar's ugly daughter and you don't, dude, have you never seen a picture of, Zach, Zach, show us Brock Lesnar's daughter right now. This is important. He's gonna rip your arms off like a fucking cave troll. This chick's not ugly. Oh, she's a,
Starting point is 01:13:15 You know what she could do? It would not go the way you want. She could put that whole Algerian boxer shit to rest. She could go over there and fuck. This chick is smokin'. You can't tell that she's got belly hair, back hair. That's the kind of woman that would like land on England's eastern shores in the year. 600 fucking pounds. That's a bitch has got a high T.
Starting point is 01:13:37 That's like a monastery raiding pose. Yes. Could you go back to the original? Could you go back to the photo right before that? That's like the that's like a monastery raiding pose. Yes. Oh, yes. Could you go back to the original? Could you go back to the photo right before that? How can you be sure that's his daughter? Mr. Lesnar, would you like to make this? No, first of all, I'm the daughter.
Starting point is 01:13:59 In the in the picture that yeah, there you go. That picture, she looks like the fucking alien dude from Prometheus. Yeah, the alien guy gets a little less jacked That is an incredibly powerful genetic Lineage that he's created over there and my god, I saw Mike Tyson's daughter. Ooh, she looks like Monique like like workout My god. But anyway, I keep trying to support Israel. You know, I got my flag out front, Taylor.
Starting point is 01:14:30 You know that? Mm-hmm. Yeah. That would be so funny. Kyle, that flag doesn't support Israel at all. Yeah. I think you've been such a- No? In history of World War II.
Starting point is 01:14:42 I mean, every time they see it, they point. No, there's a thin red, it history of World War II. I mean, every time they see it, they point in red. It's like my Nazi flag. There's a thin red line that goes through it. No, that's not Nazi. That's the Nazi flag. The thinnest of red lines. No, right here.
Starting point is 01:15:00 To be fair, it is from the sun. To be fair, it's the flag that technically created Israel, but you know, hey, yeah Yeah, you see you're a glass half full type of guy Yeah, it was the pre-pub so I keep trying to you know, stand with Israel and but my boy fish Who's who's a brown person, you know from the Middle East somewhere? I don't know where that fucking savage is from He always tells me about Lebanese. I think I know his family's in Beirut right now, worried about bombs. So good luck with that, buddy.
Starting point is 01:15:30 That sounds like a checks out. Yeah, I thought they were vacationing there, which I'm like, I hope y'all got a good rate. What the fuck? They fight. They pay you to get on that flight. Like what the hell? You think they got an Airbnb in South Lebanon
Starting point is 01:15:43 as Israel's like a pirate? Oh my god, I hope it's affordable to vacation in Beirut around its war season. So, so good timing. But he keeps saying it, you know, it's like, here's a video that he's linked in our Discord today and it's like, here's Israelis raping Palestinian prisoners. It's like, damn, because like a month ago they were raping them with dogs. We kept seeing the articles of the Israelis with the trained rape dogs. And it's like, all right, this probably isn't true.
Starting point is 01:16:09 I haven't heard anything official that sounds like rape. And then they go to like the official thing that looks like their parliament or something. And the one Israeli politician is like, I object to the rape. I think why are we sticking sticks up people's rectums? And the guy goes, no limits to what we can do to them. And like all of his boys stood up and they're like, yeah, how dare you say we can't rape is Palestinians. That's what we fucking do, son. That's how we roll. You can't limit us.
Starting point is 01:16:37 Not after what they did. That was the feeling in the room. The feeling in the room was after what they did, there's no limit, full stop to what we can do to them. Yeah, we got rape dogs, the best rape dogs, beautiful dogs. Beautiful dogs. They've got rape dogs. And look, I'm just saying- Yeah, there are some ghastly stories. Now, I know Israel is the good guys, but just from an optics standpoint, if I were like their social media manager,
Starting point is 01:17:05 I would probably step in and say, hey, good guys usually don't have rape dogs. Like maybe you could say they're rescues and maybe Palestinians perverted them and they're reverting back to their old ways. Oh, no, no, they're just Israeli rape dogs. Okay. I think you're the rape dog master Like somebody in Israel right now There's a guy in Israel right now
Starting point is 01:17:30 Who's like that guy in Lord of the Rings who had the pit or those monsters that they ride or is it? Wargs the war rider master who had extra scars because he'd been like training works to be awful There's an Israeli somewhere who's been training dogs to fuck people. OK, forcibly. And that's and look, he didn't just do a weekend seminar of it. No, that's his fucking job. All you have to do is not do to them. In my experience, they try to bang everything.
Starting point is 01:17:57 Do you think he like comes home from work to his wife and she's like, Oh, Efrem, how is your day at work? He's like, don't even get me started. Some of these dogs just aren't horny. I like I said, I think they just have a branding issue. I think if they just, you know, made it something a little bit more neutered, no pun intended, but like, you know, rescue squad of canines, you know, make it a little K to be, you know, canine. And don't have screaming matches about that in your parliament.
Starting point is 01:18:28 Now you've got RSK. A legitimate company. A legitimate company. I mean, I'm glad. But again, I stand with Israel just so we're very clear. I know you want your bank accounts and everything. I don't want to. You don't want to get Kanye Wested. You don't want to have a sinister dentist pumping your house full of nitrous. Plus I'll be honest, there's that reptilian part of my brain that's like, fuck around and find out.
Starting point is 01:18:52 Fuck around and find out. Yeah, oh, are the bombs too big and dumb? Oh, fuck around and find out. Oh, is he hungry? Are they burning the rice and the flour on the way in? Fuck around and find out. Did you not like your open air prison? Did you try to push back against that? Well? Find out did you try to get food?
Starting point is 01:19:13 Did we forget when Bill Clinton offered them everything they'd ever asked for and they said no because Iran's pulling this things They don't want the conflict end. You half of these people weren't literally weren't alive when Bill Clinton was in office. There's clearly a right and wrong answer about Israel and Palestine. You guys are being ridiculous. Yes, I appreciate you playing this part. I'm so fucking glad that I'm not doing politics anymore. Like guys, I'm gonna go to the restroom. I'm just saying, God damn it, if Arkansas invaded Missouri and did that, did that shit that they did to Israel, we wouldn't be worried about it. You know, Arkansas would do us their friend. Kansas would historically would.
Starting point is 01:19:56 And we'd rolled them historically. So that's what like I always get. I always get pissed off when movies make it seem like the native. It used to be that Native Americans and Indians and movies were like Potter and for for Cowboys to shoot and just a hundred percent. These guys are awful. These yards are the bad guys and Then like recently it's been like no they were the good guys all along living in the symbiotic relationship with nature They were they were just worshing the world and the earth and Gaia was their spirit animal and they all know they've been cannibalizing, raping and
Starting point is 01:20:31 enslaving each other for as long as their history went back. It was how they rolled. Like Comanche means, I'm pretty sure this might be one of those Joe Rogan facts, I'm pretty sure Comanche means enemy. Like I think it means enemy. It doesn't mean like, like, well, I think a lot of the Native American names mean like, you know, if it's a if it's in their language and not like Blackfeet or something, it means something about it. Like, oh, the forest people or the ridge folk, but their name means enemy because they were awful. They had ritualized torture. They thought the longer they made you fucking like scream and agony, the better the magic would be Like they are awful people when they brought white slaves back to the settlement to turn in and do a trade
Starting point is 01:21:11 the the white people were so Incensed at the at the treatment that the slaves had received the girl the girls had had their fit their noses burnt off Their feet were the bottoms of their feet. They would burn them every night so they couldn't run away they were just so disfigured and mangled that they were like You know what? Let's kill let's just kill them all right like the white people just killed them all when they saw what they'd done to The prisoners of course Indians killed all the rest of the prisoners of it all according to the Oklahoma Historical Society Comanche means enemy or stranger Yeah, so there you go. Look at you, Mr. Awful people and the Apache are just a fucking out branch of them.
Starting point is 01:21:47 And there's more of them and all the Indians were like that. I think some of the bitch made tribes, like the Cherokee, uh, like the Eastern tribes, they seemed like they had had they bitch. Yeah. Yeah. They like capitulated right away. Like they were right away. They were putting on like suits and shit and accepting those big metals.
Starting point is 01:22:04 Dude, if you like were stoked on your morning because you just caught a rabbit and you did a pretty good job erecting your TP, and then you see the largest things you've ever seen sailing towards you, a possibility that you didn't know existed as a mode of transport. Like they're going to show up and you're going to be like, all right, let's not be fucking dumb here. What do you guys want? You're offering beads. I don't even know if they're bad traders or if they were just scared. Yes, we will take your beads. Guys, this might be the best chance we have. Like, this is probably more what it was. Like you're going to, it's like, what are those things sticking out of the side of your large craft? It's like, those are cannons. You're thousands of turns away from that in Civ. What's that?
Starting point is 01:22:48 Your favorite stick? Like, it took hundreds of years to get them all. Oh, wow. That, that you mush that berry up and you can make cloth purple. That's so wild. Do you notice what I'm wearing? Notice all the other colors? Yeah, bitch.
Starting point is 01:23:03 We figured that out. I got, I got pantaloons on. How long it takes to train their soldiers too. It's like, oh yeah, it takes a process of seven years for you to become a man and know how to shoot a bow and arrow off the side of a horse. It's like, we just gave Jerry a fucking gun and told him how to use it for like 10 minutes. Now he's pretty fucking scary. Well, we've got a boat full of Irish alcoholics with guns. Good luck. They're undefeated so far. Irish alcoholics just innately know how to use them Yeah, we started with 30 of them. We're down to 25 as soon as they landed
Starting point is 01:23:33 They started to work on corn vodka and then immediately they conquered. That's all that they did But yeah, it was it was a big There's been a big uptick in the Noble Savage stuff. I've noticed that too. It was like 1839 before we started fucking actually winning. Like it was like 50-50 forever. When the Texas Rangers got those revolvers, when they got, I don't know if there were five shooters or six shooters, but they had interchangeable cartridges so they could carry, they could pop in another cylinder.
Starting point is 01:24:02 And then they had their rifle too. That changed everything because you could two fucking guns and and switch But you wouldn't to gun it you'd switch back and forth. Did they have lever action? Rebels not yet. It was later. Yeah. Yeah, they had these more roughly they had they would have probably carried like a buffalo gun like a 50 caliber like One shooter that would you know, they could yeah, I was gonna be pretty far Like one shooter that would, you know, they could, yeah, I was gonna say pretty far. I was a little eye opening for me when I first learned about like I thought bow and arrow versus rifle rifles clearly much, much, much better, right?
Starting point is 01:24:33 Depends on the scenario, you know, because if it's a single shot rifle versus how easy it is to reload an arrow, it depends where we're fighting. That's what matters the most. A lot of the great ranger stories involves like one ranger who was able to get up into a entrenched area up on a cliff face or something. And then they've got to kind of approach him in a weird way and he's able to pick people off.
Starting point is 01:24:56 But the way that they would fight on the open plane, they would have a couple dozen guys on horses riding in a circle. Like they create a tornado of warriors riding in a circle. And when the circle, when the warrior gets to your side of this tornado, he shoots at you with his bow. And then he's, but he's shooting you from the backside of his horse.
Starting point is 01:25:15 He's hanging off the fucking horse sideways. So he's covered up except for he's head glitching on a horse that's moving and you're a cowboy on foot that maybe you've made your horse lay down and you're Like popping at this guy with a revolver or a rifle and he's way over there But he's circling and the arrows keep coming because by the time they get around the circle makes a revolution He's reloaded even if he's slow and so the arrows just And my moving target constant my skeet shooting experience kicks in like sir
Starting point is 01:25:44 Can I have you come straight away or towards me? Gonna say what's up? What's Comanche for check out this rad pixel peak? It's fucking terrifying and then the the worst part was You might not want to fight you might be like a settler or a pilgrim or some shit our family man You're not you don't want to be pilgrim or some shit or a family man. You're not you don't want to be there. They want to be there so bad. It's all they want. It's their favorite fucking thing. It's their sport. They want to beat you to death and cut the top of your head off. That's the worst part. I would you definitely either love that.
Starting point is 01:26:20 Loved it so much, but we loved it, too. The problem was we would I think Mexico, I know, would pay bounties for scalps. But how do you determine whose scalp that was? Child's scalp, woman's scalp, a man's scalp. You don't think it was a rigorous process? I know it wasn't. That's like the entire plot of Blood Meridian. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:40 Blood Meridian is the book that they failed to make into a movie time and time again because the subject matter in the character is so extremely gory, controversial, dark, gloomy, and horrific. Like, it's full of rape and murder and hatred. There's no there's no movie they've never made it like I wish they would but I mean at the subject you're right the subject matters like it's rapey it's gory it's like the final scene is overtones are racist and like it's just it's you could never you might pull it off in 1980 when not in the 1970s before the yous before the CGI was that good, but nowadays, Jesus Christ. Yeah. Child murder, pedophilia, all the awful things. It's rough.
Starting point is 01:27:32 Yeah. The movie ends with a rape. That's a terrible way to end a movie. And murder. Unless it was a really bad guy. No, no. And even then, that wouldn't make me feel like justice was served. I'd be like, oh, my hero is a rapist.
Starting point is 01:27:44 No, yeah. Oh, my hero is a rapist. No, yeah, that's what your hero is a rapist. But the main character, the judge is is is like, he's the guy who he's he rapes. He writes, but he saves. I think he's the literal stand in for Satan. The actual standard for Satan or just like evil incarnate or like the evil of man, maybe like the worst parts of humanity like he's just he's just as bad as it gets yeah it's a it's a very good book what would be I mean you made a good point about the the engines you know being
Starting point is 01:28:18 fucks like they got what they had coming I don't like that they get those casinos I think I think I really don't I really don't I don't like that they get those casinos. I think I really don't. I really don't. I don't like they get those. We should give those to like the other Indians. They take care of the things. All right. It'd be a little dirtier in there. My name is cheating street. And I really didn't. You're rob you of your money. We really didn't do it on purpose. But last episode was obviously 711. And we spent an hour do it on purpose but last episode was obviously 7-eleven and we spent an hour Shitting on how filthy India and India Damn it, how do we all miss that? I don't know. I thought about after shows. We missed that joke
Starting point is 01:28:57 Yeah, we yeah, we don't the input but yeah Native Americans I've always thought just like what are you doing? whenever I see them treated as like the good guy in the movie or something, or when tribal life is sort of shown as just this peaceful, coexisting with nature sort of thing, like burn gullying it, like making them the Navi from Avatar, this just like perfect group of like in sync with nature and harmonious living. And then white man comes to colonize
Starting point is 01:29:26 Yeah, he wants to burn coal and dig for his shiny or and rape our women and enslave. It's like no you are You are a slave trader like like like that's what your chief does for a living Like like he's like horses and slaves. What do you want? Like that's what you're that's what you do for a living is trade horses and slaves. What do you want? Like that's what you do for a living is trade horses and slaves. Don't get me wrong. Like no side was like perfect in that. But people forget that like before the white man showed up, you know, they're like, oh, when the white man came, like they were all like, they all, all the Indians got brutalized. It's like they were doing that to each other long before we showed up. Sure. Yeah. Like the, like white people and Europeans were just way better at war. Like the white people and Europeans were just way better at war. When you're 100 techs ahead, you're not going to lose.
Starting point is 01:30:09 It's as simple as that. We lost so bad for so long. Mexico in particular was giving all this free land away, which is now Texas, and inviting all these, yeah, come. And they'd be like a poster. It's kind of like that Kevin Costner movie Horizon. Like, look how beautiful it is out here, free land. And then they have all these people living on their territory that were white people that they thought of as like a human buffer zone against the Native Americans. So if they got killed, they weren't defended by the Mexican army or
Starting point is 01:30:39 the Mexican government. They had to count on what came to be the Texas Rangers and stuff like that. That's kind of why the war got fought, I think, eventually, as Indian and Texas became Texas. Mm hmm. Yeah, I hate the Indians, like most of them. I know you do. I just hate them, man. And then I got robbed by that one Indian. And then so that really that really hammered it home. What did he steal from you? You remember that that that that that I was in New Mexico and that Indian jumped in my truck
Starting point is 01:31:07 and like and was trying to like there's like guns and money and everything in there. And he's like rooting around. He ended up my sunglasses. We were chasing him across the park. Did you get actually a Native American Indian? He's a Native American Indian. It was great. Yeah. The cops found that we caught him and gave him to the fingers.
Starting point is 01:31:25 Because he was so slow. We were all out of shape, but he had no excuse to be that slow. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, oof. I mean, if I were American Indian, I would also want to do a little revisionist history because it would be like, fuck, we got beat that bad for that long like Totally conquered like now I would appreciate movies that were like, oh we were like awesome before they showed up They just got the jump on us now what I will say like totally ridiculous What is super shitty is like we would make deals with them and we'd sign that shit and then we'd find out that like oh We need that river or we need that mountain or we need.
Starting point is 01:32:07 Oh, there's gold there. You gave the gold mountain to the engines. Well, move them over there. And we just kind of go back on our word time and time again. That's pretty. That's pretty shitty. That's pretty that's a lie. We don't like liars. The government going back on their word.
Starting point is 01:32:23 Yeah, that's not usually the government. So good about that. They're like, no, we're not raising taxes. No, we're not doing these things you hate actively. So I guess it's always been the same. I've been thinking about that movie. You say they can't make and I don't know. It just got in my head as you're like talking about all
Starting point is 01:32:43 the reasons it's so bad. And the PKA response to it is this song parody. Rapy and gory and child abuse, evil and murder, savage has gone loose, brown hairy scalps tied up with strings. These are a few of our favorite things. Do you think they would like that? Yeah. Was that a chat GPT or did you just do that? Did you chat would like that? Yeah, I think that GPT or did you just chat GPT that Sitting there writing being like, no, that's not racist enough Thank you. Thank you harder. She's right came out well. Yeah
Starting point is 01:33:23 Who would you want if we have to conquer a new group right now? Can't say no. Are we talking about a territory or a group of people? Like a I guess a group of land territory. That's a better word. Yeah I would prefer to subjugate a group of people but if you force me to you put me to it, I guess Oh I was just thinking like a territory is like a more useful thing to think about like see the the problem with that is like you got to get rid of the people or it's not worth anything like the problem with Puerto Rico is all the Puerto Ricans. Yeah, but if you're like, like I'm not saying like if we wanted to steal, like if we wanted
Starting point is 01:33:54 to steal Canada, like you would take the territory of Canada, you wouldn't be like, we're going to, we're going to, you know, round up all these French Canadians and throw them in a fucking camp or something. I think you could Genghis Khan in and make it better than it was before you got there, right? Like he would come in, remove the little monarchies, put in a meritocracy, and that's how he retained control over a broad swath.
Starting point is 01:34:16 Pre-monacta. Yeah. Pre-monacta, right away. It was better for them after Genghis Khan left, so I'm told. So I'm gonna have Taylorlor go in fuck all their wives anybody gets married taylor gets to deflower their brides tight yep got you back anytime thanks man um he's gonna say he's gonna be up there banging all their french canadian broads um and i think we want to work diagonally here i want to take um that like north uh eastern part of canada with
Starting point is 01:34:42 all the coastline and shit that seems valuable Probably some good fishery to be had, fisheries. Definitely some fishes. And I also want to go down there to the Baja or whatever it's called, Woody, that you like so much, that little peninsula. That's my thought. All the way down. Zach, would you pull up James Polk's intended final map
Starting point is 01:34:58 for the United States of America? Frankly, I'm a Polk man. I'm a big Polk guy. I've seen this map and it shows us what could have been. What could have been indeed. What could have been a bit. We take the whole Gulf of Mexico. I believe the Cuba.
Starting point is 01:35:12 Woody, it's. What's that? Oh yeah, I know it. Yeah, yeah. I wonder how different America would be if we had that much Mexico. Yeah, like would we make that part of Mexico better? Or would like.
Starting point is 01:35:23 Hell yeah. We'd make it Texas. No, that's not what I'm looking like. Oh, yeah. We'd make it Texas. It's not what I look. No, that's not it. Let me find the. Um. What was I going to say? Yeah, I mean, some of that Mexican land doesn't seem that great.
Starting point is 01:35:38 It's like eight thousand feet altitude and low rain and. That's not it. Sent it. Well, that's a little bit of exact Yeah, that sort of describes I I thought in his map he takes that whole peninsula below San Diego Now that's a fucking Empire boys, that's what I want to do Honestly, like what I always think about frankly is is pushing Mexico back I don't like, you know, we have immigration's a bit of an issue That's what I want to do. Honestly, like what I always think about frankly, is pushing Mexico back.
Starting point is 01:36:05 I don't like, you know, immigration's a bit of an issue I feel. So we should just push it back. We should just push the wall back to a more manageable area. They always talk about, oh, the wall would have to be this long. Well. A lot of push and dangle a little bit.
Starting point is 01:36:18 That wall's not so long. That's what I'm looking at. Yeah, it looks like a short wall right there and you can put some howitzers on the other side and some mines. We get fucking Cuba. Think about the vacation possibilities. Look at that other chunk of what I assume is Mexico that, you know, over over in the Gulf of Mexico that we're just taking as well.
Starting point is 01:36:38 But it is. Yeah. I would almost prefer if we gave him a little bit of the Croatia treatment. And we took. Why is he leaving the British Isles out? Why aren't we taking all the aisles down? There was like nothing there at the time. Oh wait What is that big country is that Haitian Dominican Republic or no that Dominican Republic and Haiti are right just off screen to the right That's Cuba. Yeah, okay. Sorry my dumbass, but look how far he's going up north in the in the northeast He's taking some extra stuff up there. I believe yeah, look how much north we have a Portland now Yeah, good for good for James Polk. We've got all the pretty much entire control of the Great Lakes
Starting point is 01:37:13 I didn't realize he changed the parallel probably by one That's great. What else was James Polk all about? Did he get what did he get done? He was cheese man. Was he a cheese man? That's a cheese wheel, a wheel of cheese in the White House. It weighed 800 pounds and anyone who came in could have a bit. There's no fucking way. For how long, how long do you think like a cheese wheel? Actually, it depends on the kind of cheese.
Starting point is 01:37:40 You get 800 pounds of cheese, it goes a long way. In those days, you see the White House was open to visitors. You could just walk right in and take your business straight to the big man And my business was I'm only making up 80% of this This can't be true there was a giant wheel of cheese in the White House I think that that visitors could Gorge themselves upon if they visited on a daily basis in the White House was open like, like to the public. James Pulk has known for pooping once a week.
Starting point is 01:38:08 What the fuck? How would he be known for that? What's the cheese? He just had the map and the poop. That's his only thing. If that's, if that's on his wicket. Yeah, yeah. He was known for pooping. This is, this is cheese. Andrew Jackson in the main foyer of the White House had a two ton block of cheese. It was there for any and all who were hungry. It was there for the voiceless.
Starting point is 01:38:29 There you go. What? To be honest, the one thing that hasn't changed is that cheese is still a flex. Oh, this is from the fucking West Wing. That's not even did he talking about. Oh, what I just read was a quote from the fictitious White House chief of staff, Leo McGarryarry in season 2 of the West Wing But it does say Andrew Jackson did in fact keep an enormous block of cheese in the White House But that seems to be where the similarities with the West Wing end
Starting point is 01:38:55 The block of cheese for the people that walk through that's a fact now I think I think what oh here it is according to Benjamin pearly poor in his 1886 book Pearly's Reminiscences of 60 Years in the National Metropolis, dude, book titles back then rock, Thomas Jefferson received an awe-inspiring 1,600 pound cheese behemoth from a Western Massachusetts man and Jackson's admirers thought that every honor which Jefferson ever had received should be paid to him. So some of them resided in the rural district of New York and got up a mammoth cheese for old hickory. Dibs on the indie band name Cheese Behemoth. Yes, that's a good one. Man,
Starting point is 01:39:31 what a fun guy. Andrew Jackson, you go to his White House, he hands out cheese, he's taking care of that Indian problem. He's on the $20 bill. One of the most useful bills. When I was in middle school, this, they brought in this Savage American. I don't know what he was. He was all dressed up with beads in his hair and shit and he had moccasins on and he brought all this like he brought all this bullshit artwork that his savage family had made, I guess. And then he gave us some like bullshit speech about how he won't even carry a twenty dollar bill because Andrew Jackson's on it. gave us some like bullshit speech about how I won't even carry a $20 bill because Andrew Jackson's on it. It's not doing the president on it. It's just the right currency.
Starting point is 01:40:10 Hundreds, I don't roll that deep. Tens, fives, I just put them in the glove compartment or something. I have brought for you today this ancient art from my forefathers. It is a buffalo in macaroni. It is a buffalo in macaroni. Everyone has to be like, wow. He's got finger paints. Unfortunately, the horns have begun to fall off. My Indian name is he who paints with craft.
Starting point is 01:40:42 I genuinely enjoy that their culture is being slowly erased by the hands of time and their own like inbreeding and alcoholism and drug use. I love that that's happening. I watch those documentaries and they're like, this is like Grace Littlefeet. She's the last Shoshone fucking dream talker. No one else knows the secret words and she has dementia So every day she knows fewer of them. I'm like nice one fucking got her Well, I was the original dream talker and then the white man showed up and quickly called me on my shit
Starting point is 01:41:19 He said why did you not see this in the stars and I said you got me said, why did you not see this in the stars? And I said, you got me. There was a girl that I went to school with way back in the day because I was back in North Carolina. We had a place called Lumberton and there's like the Lumbee Indians there, which it was kind of like a big thing growing up because they were like, nobody was really sure if that was a real Indian tribe because they, they were, they were the right skin tone complexion. They had like kind of built their own culture. But most of them, historically, it
Starting point is 01:41:47 seemed like they were just runaway slaves that had inbred locals. And so it was kind of like there was a historical context for it, but nobody was really sure. But what they seemed to have done is pissed off a lot of the other local Native American tribes because they would steal different parts of their culture that they liked and just kind of created their own amalgamation. So I had one, one girl that I was
Starting point is 01:42:08 going to school with that like for the school assembly, uh, dressed up in like 18 different Native American garbs from like different places and like acted like she was the last of the fucking Mohicans. Like, I don't, not to sound insensitive, but I feel like there's a lot more of you than you'd like to lead on. It's like, yeah. I mean, number one, the propeller ball cap. I don't know. That's tradition.
Starting point is 01:42:34 But yeah, I think every high school had a couple of those girls, right? Just clearly white as the driven snow and being like, I'm Native American. And it's like, no, you're not. Your last name is Nyquist. Like Elizabeth Warren catching strays for no reason. Dude, every time I think of Warren, I think of the funniest Trump tweet I think of the entire time. Zach, if you can pull it up rapidly, that would be funny. When she was trying to like do a little boost like video from home and she was like drinking a beer, like trying to seem folksy and casual. And she like turned her husband and it was like, thank you for being here.
Starting point is 01:43:16 And Trump tweeted he's like, what a disaster. Terrible video for Pocahontas. She turned her husband and said, thanks for being here. It's his house. Where is he supposed to be? I wish he would. I wish he'd shitpost again. He's probably too old. I wish he would come back to Twitter. Yeah, I really miss those days. But I just got a brief little stint of air conditioning from downstairs, getting getting some more water.
Starting point is 01:43:43 I fucking there's like a distinct 15 degree difference right now in my house and it's killing me. Ooh, plus the rona, that makes it worse. Yeah, so yeah, for the suggest of the viewers now, like I'm not actually going through fucking like heroin withdrawals right now. I'm like, I've got like no fucking air conditioning and I'm two days into coronavirus, so that's fun.
Starting point is 01:44:03 That's rough. That sucks. Are you taking anything for it or are you just toughen it out? I'm two days into coronavirus. So that's fun. That's rough. That sucks. Are you taking anything for it or are you just toughen it out? I'm injecting bleach twice a day. Hopefully that works out. I've heard that works. I have it on very good authority. You need whatever Biden took. He got it two weeks ago and then it was just not even a story anymore. It's not a story. I don't know how he's doing though. Has he been out and about?
Starting point is 01:44:23 No, dude. Yeah. I don't think he has. Dude, he jogs around the area all the time. You see him out running. I don't, no, I don't think so. They call him Sporty Joe. What are you talking about? He's called me Sporty Joe. I run around and tap all the black kids on the head and say, you got different hair than me. And they said, we love you. And I said, get out of here. You're not allowed. It's 1951. I would love a senile Joe hard our slip. He's probably one of the only I mean, in recent memory, or as someone who's still alive and relevant in politics, somebody who's dropped the hard R on the floor of Congress. And Oh, absolutely. To be fair to him, he was he was
Starting point is 01:45:09 there was back when he was a senator to be fair to him. He was quoting somebody but he full on hard art it. Yeah. And he was quoting someone which are you going to be mad about someone quoting someone right? No people will be mad. What if it's an Elmo's favorite song? Along or you're quoting someone or you just got cut off. I mean, honestly, I was quoting myself to be fair, but his own standard.
Starting point is 01:45:36 That's him there pouring acid in that pool with black children in it. Did he do that again? Yeah, that was last Thursday. Yeah, that's awful. It's terrible. I don't understand. I want to share the pool with black people. It never really seemed to be a problem in my county. Would pouring acid in a pool do anything? You need a lot of it. I don't think so. I mean, you're gonna get a gallon of acid.
Starting point is 01:46:00 My pool's like 28,000 gallons. It's probably not even real acid, but imagine a fucking person comes out there with that big scary bottle of acid and starts pouring it in. It says skull and crossbones on the side. Yeah even if it was water I'd assume the worst and get out. Have you ever, have any of you ever handled chemicals or anything or an actual bottle that has the skull and crossbones on it? Not safely no. Yeah. I when I was doing a flamethrower video, I wanted to melt enough Styrofoam into the gasoline to make it extra gooey but I I I reasoned myself that the reason modern gasoline doesn't do that is because they took the uh,
Starting point is 01:46:35 What's that fucking additive? Let's not ask, you know, something scary Benzene, I reasoned that it was because they're they removed the additive that it would. And so it wouldn't eat enough styrofoam to get extra goopy. So I bought a liter of benzene off Amazon. That bottle had a skull and fucking crossbones on it. And I thought it was the coolest shit I'd ever seen. Like when we mixed that stuff up, we had respirators and stuff on.
Starting point is 01:47:02 Everybody was like standing 30 yards away. And we do a lot of in the in the in the shop, we do a lot of like bluing shit and whatnot. And like there's an entire fucking cabinet that we just keep closed full of caustic chemicals for one thing or the other. I'm like, man, I'm glad you guys leave the door open around here. Because like, this is a fucking what is that OSHA OSHA would not be fucking pleased that some of the shit that we deal with on a day toto-day basis Just cuz gotta get the gun out
Starting point is 01:47:27 Yeah, yeah, I and I wonder it's a fun ruiners like Like like in Minecraft there's stuff that's bad for you, right? Like like like smoke smoking cigarettes is bad for you, but it's not gonna like give you immediate cancer but then there's like I can't remember what it's called the emergency fuel that that That they use in fighter jets sometimes and in and in some other military projects. It's like it causes like instant cancer or something like that. Is that what you're going for?
Starting point is 01:47:57 No, he says either. Well, he says either. So he gives us a choice or he misspelled ether. There's stuff that like a little bit of it'll ruin you for life. Yeah, fentanyl. You think so? Yeah, a little bit of that. It'll make you a hero in some parts of the country. It can. It can get you. What is fentanyl? No, fentanyl. Oh, fentanyl. I'm like fentanyl. Is that the shit they give dogs for heartworm? No, fentanyl is what they ship up through Mexico and it kills a lot of people. Because they're like, I want to do cocaine. I'm cool. And then they do a line and there's
Starting point is 01:48:33 fent in it and they die. I did get in trouble at one point during a political speech for fat shaming. The most benign thing. It was in a big, like we were doing a big rally, it was probably about 300 people there. And I couldn't help be me a little bit, which I was strongly advised to not do. And so we were talking about fentanyl actually, and talking about how much was crossing the southern border. And there was a statistic that I had heard
Starting point is 01:48:57 that enough fentanyl has crossed the southern border last year to kill the, by weight, to kill the entire population of not only the United States, but the world. Or approximately 28 Austin feminists. Yeah. The news did not find that very funny. Yeah, but it's probably written by some fat bitch. I actually had a couple people on the campaign trail come up to me like, did you say this? Like, yeah, absolutely.
Starting point is 01:49:25 And do you have anything to say? I still think it's funny. Yeah. You don't like it. You don't have to deal with that. Challenge me to a foot race over it. Okay. How about that?
Starting point is 01:49:34 Pull up competition. You know, Becky Cheesecake writing hate articles about you. That sucks. That would be so, so weird to be running for office and then have a giant influx of cash go to your opponent from like APAC or like some real deal fucking political organization that's powerful. And then immediately overnight be like, Oh, there's a there's 50 attack ads every hour against me. Suddenly, people are looking, I wouldn't, I wouldn't like that. I'm such a bitch.
Starting point is 01:50:07 I feel like I'd be out in public. I'd be like, I'm not that guy. I like I love big fat pigs like you, ma'am. Like, it was definitely a weird experience. There was a couple I got in trouble for an MP 40 video. I did the way that the news are like, he shoots a Nazi sub machine gun. Like I'm like, yeah, I do like a lot of historic
Starting point is 01:50:28 weapon breakdowns or whatever. Did you call it the original ghetto blaster? I'm like, well, yeah, I did. But yeah, I thought it was funny. Oh, okay. Okay. That's pretty good. They were saying that,
Starting point is 01:50:39 oh, like it's a resurfaced video. I'm like, it's not resurfaced. It's been on my channel for two fucking years. You just now found it. Yeah, it's a cool gun. Two million. Shoot. That was my favorite gun I shot at the event was the MP 40. Oh, yeah, dude, it is such a controllable machine gun. I fucking love it. Like, for its light. I feel like you could run around all day with one of those strapped to you. Then after like two seconds with the Tommy
Starting point is 01:51:01 gun, I'd be like, all right, aesthetically, I look, I look tight, but I'm hired. Like, I think it's so heavy. I could have you could have seven MP 40s strapped to you and it's less than that one wood stocked. What round do these guns shoot? The MP 40s, nine millimeter and the Thompson's 45. Oh, yeah. The MP 40 you could like one hand it is so light. I bet the tommy gun probably wouldn't have been so heavy if it wasn't like all wood everywhere. I think that the
Starting point is 01:51:27 ergonomics are not very good, like the stock placement and whatnot. You know, they're just a great looking gun. But if you ever shoulder it, you know, what's the old joke? It's like, yeah, it was made by somebody who has never met a human being but would love to someday. Yeah. Yeah, those were cool. I liked both of those. But if I were defending my home, I'd want the MP40 so I could roll behind my couch and be agile and stuff. Speaking of guns that look over look cool but are
Starting point is 01:51:57 kind of overrated. Kyle, you remember this bad boy? Oh my god, oh my god. Is is the one you chop the tree down with it fuck no that is a piece of shit what is it is that is it USA s12 or something or something weird like that yeah it's the USAS it's the you test or it's the UTS 15 that's it yep yeah and it And it is such a piece of shit. I actually was telling people to be careful while we were filming with it, cause we were doing a Helldivers 2, cause it looks, it's basically the shotgun
Starting point is 01:52:32 from Helldivers 2. And we were telling them to be careful because I was showing them your video. You had like three break on you? Three or four maybe. Like they sent me four or five and they just kept breaking and falling apart I can remember there are ball bearings like I was shucking it and like trying to clear it and there's like
Starting point is 01:52:51 ball bearings and springs popping and jumping around inside the weapon and We didn't beat these up. We these were new in the box Shot some oil on them and went and started to film and each segment of my video It's like we're gonna shoot a toilet now Let's see what lasts lot longer the toilet or this piece of shit and like I think the gun might have broken like like They kept those were the those are the shittiest things anybody's ever sent me. That's the shittiest gun I've ever I've ever actually would you do it?
Starting point is 01:53:20 That wasn't the one you shot a tree down you chopped the tree down with a shotgun. Yeah, that was like a magazine fed Turkish like Mark 19 19. Yeah Mark 19 or mark 7 something like that 1919 or maybe it had a stupid name like that, but it was a That was like just a mag fed shotgun. I have a mixed up then Yeah, I think beat the shit out of me too. But no, those things are garbage. Why do you have that?
Starting point is 01:53:47 Literally just for the video and because I didn't have one. Other than that, like I knew in my head while I was buying it, I'm like, oh, this will be great because Helldivers is like the new thing, whatever. So we did a video with that. But I in the back of my head, all I could think of was your video and I had to rewatch it. And I'm like, yeah, I'm pretty sure these are fucking trash. Right., yeah, I'm pretty sure these are fucking trash, right? And yeah, time when I Caltech had the KSG or whatever. And then other
Starting point is 01:54:11 companies were coming up with shotguns a hell of a shitload of basically in multiple tubes, or maybe they'll even stick two barrels on there. They're trying to do stuff like that. And that was the cheapest shittiest iteration of that idea of all time. It's also Turkish as it comes out. So yeah. Brandon. Turkish guns are very affordable and cheap.
Starting point is 01:54:33 I could never keep my dad when he goes to a gun show from like coming back with a handful of Turkish semi-automatic shotguns. He's like, they were three for 500. What could I do? You're very affordable. Yeah, my bad guns. Good.
Starting point is 01:54:46 If there's a bad guy that kicks your door down, what gun do you wish was in your hands? Um, I, I value my hearing a lot now. So like, I like my MP5 SD. That's really quiet. Okay. Um, I had a suppressed MP5 on the wall for a while, but now I I've got a suppressed scar 17 and a suppressed error 15.
Starting point is 01:55:06 Well, that'll do it. Probably. Yeah. Submachine gun in a whatever. Black scary rifle. Yeah. I'm a simple Missouri boy. I'd probably use my shotgun.
Starting point is 01:55:18 Yeah, that was my choice too. And my ears going on afterward. I didn't think of a noise. I just got to the point that, yeah, if if I'm going to I, I, I need to conserve as much hearing as I have left. So I kind of want just whatever I'm shooting. I want it to be suppressed and somewhat quiet. That's fair. You probably already have like what is that thing Archer has Military grade tinnitus. Yes.
Starting point is 01:55:46 You always have to like listen to a podcast or music or something. Otherwise, it's hee hee. You joke around I have a fan on high when I sleep and if I go to like a hotel, I just put on rain noise. That's nice anyway. I saw that tinnitus but I like falling asleep to some some kind of audio. I saw that tonight is but I like falling asleep to some some kind of audio. I saw that a landmark somehow got a MP7. Yeah. Do you know what happened? You don't have to say obviously, but do you have some idea how he acquired such a thing? So I don't know how he got his. But I know like
Starting point is 01:56:20 they do come up every now and again. I just personally don't think they're cool enough to pay for how much they go for. Like if you buy them, you have to be an FFL with SOT. Yep. So like already the bar is like only dealers that have that special occupational tax like license. They come up, you can buy them on what's called for the people who don't know, a no letter transfer,
Starting point is 01:56:46 which means that an SOT is going out of business. Otherwise, you need a law letter. So you'd need like a law enforcement agency or somebody like that to send you a letter saying we'd like to demo this. So please give it to this guy so we can shoot it and test it out. But if an SOT is going out of business, then you can sell it to another SOT without a law letter. And so those come up every now and again, like on gun broker and stuff like that. But they the MP7s in particular, because they're not for sale in the US to the general public. And HK is weird about it. HK is very weird
Starting point is 01:57:15 about it. They're they come up for like 40 grand 50 grand when they come up. So he spent a lot of fucking he spent a lot of no no money. they come up. So he spent a lot of fucking he spent a lot of no, no money. I saw a stock immediately broke. Oh, God damn it. At least those are having to replace. I think he's really pretty. He's I think he's having it made like he's like he's having new shit 3D printed.
Starting point is 01:57:37 To get the latch or something like the folding latchy thing you squeeze. That's a cool fucking gun. But I like to me that and I don't know, like the P 90 and stuff like that. It just you don't really feel each bullet's impulse. It just kind of feels like the guns vibrating in your hand and that's not very satisfying. I don't know. Yeah, especially the P 90 because it's 50 rounds of five seven, which are like a buck a piece. So it's like you just feel the gun vibrate a bit and you're like,
Starting point is 01:58:06 oh, cool, that was 50 bucks. Brad. Yeah. Yeah. I never liked the idea of that. If he fives and Tommy guns always seem like the cool shit because you could get cheap ammo for them and they're fun to play with. Yeah, I like. But it is. Yeah. I was shocked when he had an MP7.
Starting point is 01:58:23 I was like, what the fuck? Is that a real one? Yeah, right. You you expected to be airsoft at the end of the day. Or at least like maybe a semi-automatic clone that he's bought some shit to throw on. But no, he's got a real deal fucking MP7. I thought that was sick. Yeah, real like a real H.K. one.
Starting point is 01:58:40 That's fucking dope. They're extremely expensive. And I'll probably end up getting one one day because like no, no operator. Cody, that's like his favorite gun ever. He just he's obsessed with them. And so he's looking at me with the puppy dog eyes. It's like video games. Like for me, it's like it's been like the gun in a bunch of games
Starting point is 01:58:59 like Modern Warfare three back in the day. It was the gun. Oh, yeah. Even in Tarkov, like it's it's pretty top tier. It's kind of it's it's a it's a meta gun in that game. Yeah. Tarkov Half Life 2. Do you play Tarkov? I used to I used to play a lot of Tarkov. I have it on good authority that the AK 50 might be ending up in that game.
Starting point is 01:59:17 Oh, really? That'd be sick, dude. Oh, that'd be really. There's no there isn't a 50 BMG in the game yet. So well, there is a 12-7. Oh, that'll be really there's no there isn't a 50 BMG in the game yet. So well, there is a 12 seven. I think. Oh, yeah. But it's the Ash 12. It's that it's that. No. So, yeah, that's like the 12, 7 by 55. Yeah, it's almost like a like a shotgun round more than anything.
Starting point is 01:59:38 It's it's I think it might be subsonic. It's it's a PS 2 1 B is the ammo type. Yeah, it's like like it's the Russian equivalent of like 50 Beowulf. Yes, yes, exactly. But I think that some of the heavy machine guns that they have mounted, like the corgs or something like that, I think those might be 12 7. So at least they have the ballistics already in the game. Yeah, but but it'll be all new assets for like the ammo type
Starting point is 02:00:03 and and all that sort of thing. that really that would be really fucking cool What he said they might put the his gun in tarkov The uh, the 50 caliber ak Really that that would be really cool. I've talked to nikita about it. He's he's interested So we'll uh, we'll see if they pick it up and uh, we'll see how I know they've got a million fucking things to work on So we'll see if that happens. Yeah, they just fucked up. Yes. Oh my gosh, man. Oh, that is horrible. Terrible render. What about this?
Starting point is 02:00:35 They actually put it in new Vegas. Oh yeah. Oh, I didn't actually mention that, but they just put it in call of duty. Oh, that is really, that's thick. That's a bigger deal than Tarkov by a landslide. Yeah, a huge amount. The only difference is Tarkov did it with my with my permission. Call of Duty just ripped it, which I'm making a video on that now. Actually, I postponed that video to do this podcast because I love you boys.
Starting point is 02:00:58 Oh, thank you. The sons of bitches. Colonizers. I was like, you know, you would have asked, I would have said yes. You should make them put you in as a playable character now as, as recompense. I don't think they would ever touch or a player of your choice. So like maybe like you can talk them into, I don't know, Hank Hill, like someone Sweeney, Sydney Sweeney. Sidney Sweeney. Naked. No Merkin. Woody stipulation.
Starting point is 02:01:31 I know. I know why they wouldn't touch somebody like me. It's not like I'm oblivious. I'm like, oh, I should be a kid. No, I get it. I fucking understand. It's fine, though. When I run for office in later life, all this all blow over. I mean, these are all these things. I've said they're so it seems so corporate now. you know, if you look at the playable characters and cod It's people like Nicki Minaj
Starting point is 02:01:50 I think Snoop Dogg might have been one but now it's like characters from all the different universes seem to be in everything I know that's cool. That's so cool with the fighting games I think it's dumb as shit to be able to play as Homelander and Call of Duty. Yeah, that's that's pretty dumb to be able to play as Homelander and Call of Duty. Yeah, that's pretty dumb. But if I'm playing like Mortal Kombat or Street Fighter or whatever, some fighting game, and it can be the Terminator versus Homelander, that's the best universe ever.
Starting point is 02:02:14 Yeah, that's so cool. That's cool. But it was a really bizarre experience to be able to play Modern Warfare, the new modern warfare three or whatever using my gun. It was just a very odd, cause I haven't played call of duty in years, but to be able to mark people with a gun that I've spent eight years building is kind of a fucking wild experience.
Starting point is 02:02:35 Was it frustrating where you're like, yes, my guns in the game. And you're like getting nade spotted and like, because you haven't played in so long. The markers with a 50 BMG. Yeah, it was cause I had to fucking unlock it first. So that was really I had to reintegrate. But what's worse is getting fucking killed by your own gun. That feels a little poetic. That's disheartening. Yeah. Poisoned on your own petard.
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Starting point is 02:04:18 guerillamind.com with code PKA or Jizz. Still get that 10% off. There we go. Brandon's got it. And so we got to just hard scope for the stock boys. It's selling too much. So hopefully we can get that back in stocks. And I talked to someone over there and they it's August now. So hopefully I don't want to make any guarantees we can't keep, but shouldn't be too much longer. Also our merch, buy our t-shirts, buy our hats, stickers, anything you want to, you want to look cool out there, folks. Girls are going to look at you and go, whoa, what that guy's got a dick. I want to suck. And I bet he comes along a, and I bet it's hard. So all these things.
Starting point is 02:04:58 Do it is a cool slogan for blue chew. I do like that. So use code PKA 10 for any of our merch, PKA 10 for 10% off of the merch. A lot of people aren't using the discount code. So use the discount code and save 10%. Silly heads. So there you go. Merch PKA 10, blue chew PKA and gorilla mind PKA.
Starting point is 02:05:21 Check it all out. Cool, cool, cool. Where'd Kyairu go? Hold on, Kairu. Hold on, Kairu. Wait, what does he say? I believe in you. I believe in you.
Starting point is 02:05:37 Kyle's like, woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo Should I eat the asparagus and the cuttlefish? It's so funny. This is a couple of years ago. I was watching a Twitch stream. And every time this chick got up from her chair to leave and do whatever, she put a piece of wood, a two by four on her chair and her views would skyrocket. And then she comes back and she loses viewers. She's like, why do you guys like Woody more than me?
Starting point is 02:06:04 Or what did she, she named it Lumbee or something like that. She named her stick and yeah, anyway, her viewers fucking loved it, but they hated her. So when she came back. The Twitch community is fucking brutal like that. Yeah. Dude, I didn't have you done much live streaming? You know, I used to do Twitch every now and again.
Starting point is 02:06:21 I haven't done it in a long time, probably a couple of years, but I used to enjoy it just as like a passive thing to do, especially when I was single, I didn't really care. Oh yeah, I used to stream a bunch. Back when I did YouTube kind of full time, I did it on YouTube and I did it on Twitch. And I don't know, the chat takes out of me. They're so brutal.
Starting point is 02:06:40 Eventually it's hard to convince yourself that this is fun. Yeah, the YouTube streaming seems to be the way to go these days, especially, well, if you have a big following on YouTube, like it seems to be the way to go, but I'm a little worried because like, you know, when you get big on YouTube, you almost like worship the algorithm like a deity. It's like, you don't want to piss it off
Starting point is 02:07:00 by doing the wrong thing. So I'm worried, like my algorithm's doing extremely well. So like, if I started interjecting things like shorts or live streaming, like I know they're the things that work right now, I'm just terrified I'll kill the golden goose, you know? This channel should do shorts. The trouble is not much of our funny fits in 60 seconds. Yeah. But I feel like shorts could draw people to the show if we were to do it well. Just as a user behavior thing, when I stopped listening to PKA for years, for a while,
Starting point is 02:07:30 just life, whatnot, college and everything, and I came back into it like maybe three or four years ago, and what got me back into it was my feed brought up the clips channels and stuff like that. So I feel like you might bring a lot of people back into the loop if you started doing shorts and stuff. Not to tell you guys how to run your shit. But yeah, I know it's what got me.
Starting point is 02:07:47 The reason the clips channels exist and we never like fussed at him is because I feel like it's a win win. Now, we could have both those wins and theories if we had a question. But instead, they get a win, we get a win and we don't do any work. Yeah, it's it again, it's just hard to figure out how to I guess you'd have to condense everything down into 60 seconds and then put like, I don't know, fucking subway
Starting point is 02:08:09 runners or whatever the fuck subway surfers in the bottom and shit like that just to keep the fucking 80 D audience in tune. Yeah, yeah. Welcome back. I was talking earlier, Tarkov fucked up there. Their white is approaching. It's been almost a year since that game is white, which is unusual. Usually doesn't go this long. This is one of the longest wipes ever. And a lot of changes. The game's in a good place right now. Armors crazy, but they accidentally wipe.
Starting point is 02:08:36 It's it's armors eating a lot of bullets. It didn't used to. And because the game has been going for a year, everyone has enough money and levels that they can kind of have the best armor all the time. And they eat tons and tons of bullets. Cause you can't always get the best ammo all the time. Even if you are, you know, max level or whatever, it's, it's hard to find. You have to find it in the game and they don't let you buy it in many cases.
Starting point is 02:09:00 But in any case, they accidentally wiped like a ton of accounts, like thousands and thousands of accounts the other day of all their shit and then they came back and gave those people like 200 million rubles and all of the labs cards and Like maxed all their stats out and maxed all their trader levels out. It was like the best. Sorry about that We got you kind of moment Yeah, that was that was a good PR move because it still sucks, though, because there were probably plenty of people who were like in the middle of messing around and learning the mid game.
Starting point is 02:09:33 And now their accounts just busted. Yeah. And I know that there's a there was a big fiasco. Probably one of the reasons that postponed their wipe maybe was the fiasco over the EOD edition, not being the big edition. Like they offering like a new $250 edition. Oh, Kyle was a lot sensed. Yeah, I won't buy it. I won't pay for that.
Starting point is 02:09:53 There's no way I just thought about it. And I was like, I'm not saying you're wrong. Like that's bullshit. It's 100% bullshit. Landmark doesn't buy it. I appreciate that about him. He's like, I'm a buying it. What about pestily pestily buying it?
Starting point is 02:10:06 I don't know. I haven't looked into such things. It doesn't matter who bought it and who does it. I just appreciated that Landmark was like, fuck that shit. You'll feel like that's a bad that's a bad PR move as a streamer when there was such a vitriolic audience response to it, it's like, oh, Landmark's a guy of the people kind of thing. It's like, I wouldn't have fucking done it either if I was him. Yeah, fuck that.
Starting point is 02:10:26 But I do like their game. I think their game's on the down slide though, because they introduced a PVE mode. And when they did that to Sea of Thieves, it ruined the game in my opinion and through a lot of people's opinion. Because what they did, you've got this big sandbox of people and there's people like Landmark who play the the game for a fucking living eight hours a day and they're
Starting point is 02:10:48 good and it's terrifying to like get into a game with them and then there's like fishes there's people who are just like learning the controls there are people who are like how do i heal where do i go and they all have to compete in the same match. There's no skill based matchmaking. There's no level matching. You go into a match randomly and you might be in there with the scariest people of all time or it might be literal brand new people to the game. Well, with the PVE mode, all those new people and all those people who don't like getting bullied and people who just don't like cheaters, which is why I've considered playing it, just go over there and play on their own against AI and bots
Starting point is 02:11:25 and they never have to deal with other people. I think that's gonna split your player base. Same character level up and open traders and stuff. Yeah, can you still do the same quests? It's a different character. No, no, it's a different character that you've got in your PVE world. He's got his own everything.
Starting point is 02:11:40 And they put PMC AIs in the game. They're like labs raiders running around in like groups of three or four. And they'll have like varied gear like they'll have good shit sometimes like one guy will be poor and one guy will be rich. But they'll fuck you up. You can't just run around like like if you run around already kill you. PvP. Oh, wait, PvP. That's PvP is when it's other people environment is the word you're looking for.
Starting point is 02:12:05 Yeah, so traditional Tarkov, there are bots in the world, but there are also players in the world and that you have to contend with and the players that... I didn't know PvE was even that different from PvP. I'd never... The PvE only mode, it's just you. You're playing, now you're playing an RPG. Skyrim is PvE. It's you're playing. Now you're playing an RPG. The Skyrim is PV. Yes. OK. Yeah. I like that. But I can see in a game like Tarkov,
Starting point is 02:12:31 you don't want your player base split that way. Because if you're like a split, if you're a hype. Well, yeah. Number one, not a big enough player base to split. Number two, like it's just going to be a bunch of head honcho guys in that server of PVP. And all the people get much sweatier. Yeah. Everyone who's like, you know what?
Starting point is 02:12:48 This is a fun game I played a few hours a week. Like they're going to be the PVP people. Almost makes it like the ranked servers, right? Ranked versus pubs. Yeah. Yeah, it's a good comparison. It's eliminating all of the worst players, the people who just want to goof around or the people who just want to like, try the system. They're over there now and you need those in your world.
Starting point is 02:13:07 Just like see if thieves did. Like I never understood the controversy. There was a huge controversy in that game. Every, every season there's something, but basically some people wanted to sail around and pretend like they were pirates and dig up treasure and fight AI skeletons. Some people wanted to pretend like they were real pirates, not Disney pirates and rape and pillage and steal other people's shit
Starting point is 02:13:29 and like ruin other people's fun and like sink them over and over and over. And the kind of people who are still into that game, Sea of Thieves, like they've been playing forever because I played once for two, maybe three hours with Kyle and a couple other guys and And they showed me the ropes. And it was like, all right, I kind of feel like I know what I'm doing. I can go help in these different stations around the ship. If I see Kyle doing this and this is open, I can go help. And then after maybe two hours, I'm like, all right, what next? And Kyle's like, I was like,
Starting point is 02:13:58 that's it. Like, well, what do we work towards? What do we build? What do we buy? And then Scum, he was with us. He's like, well, we can go to this like trading island and buy stuff. Then we get there and I'm expecting it to be like a new saber that doesn't cause too damage or a new blunder bus. And it's all cosmetic. 100% of it. You can make yourself look like the most fucking Liberace pirate of all time, but you can't actually do anything more that makes you more efficacious than just like a dirty snaggletooth guy with a rusty blade. So most people, yeah, I agree with you.
Starting point is 02:14:36 Everything's about the cosmetics. There is no better gun. There's better looking guns. But that's what turns me off from it too. There's no real progression For me to get an outfit that I thought was pretty cool Yeah, yeah, the cosmetics are fine. Yeah, which is like not that good like one. There's more content now There's a lot of like monsters in the ocean to slay You can fish there's there's all these rare fish to catch. Oh
Starting point is 02:15:03 You can There's lots of AI forts and multi-part puzzles. It's like an Indiana Jones platforming game where you're bouncing around like solving like Lara Croft Tomb Raider type shit to get. But but in the end, you're right. You just get better chests, which you sell for gold, which you can only spend on new cannons and sales and boat skins and hats and shit like that. So there is no real progression, which is a bit of a bummer, but it is a fun game. I like games where I like the player base is crazy sweaty and they're just amazingly good. Like CSGO is that to me. I don't think CSGO is picking up a lot of new players. I'm
Starting point is 02:15:40 probably wrong, but who knows if I were to jump into CSGO now, I'd be against people who've been honing their skills for 15 years. The only game I'm into is like that. Yeah, dude, Fall Guys. Do you remember that game that was popular for like two months? Yeah, Colin is still playing it. And he is my son. He is so good. He wins every third game. It's out. He used to win. Winning was this big deal. He's a hundred people for the listener. Yeah, it's like 100 people. He wins every third game. He used to win. Winning was this big deal. He's a hundred people for the listener.
Starting point is 02:16:05 Yeah, it's like a hundred people. He wins every third game. He used to take a selfie of himself next to the monitor with his little. That's cool. On. Yeah, it's not that big a thrill anymore. He wins every third game. Nice. Wild.
Starting point is 02:16:20 How old is calling now? Twenty one. God, that's fucking crazy. Right. Did you ever drink alcohol with him? No, I don't think he's had it yet. I I had this plan. I was gonna get him out I didn't want him to drink. I don't want Colin drinking sure So the I was like, you know what you might like vodka Jack Daniels try Jack Daniels He'll take one sip of it and never drink again. Oh
Starting point is 02:16:42 What is because I think you'd mentioned doing that but I don't I don't I didn't know if you ever did. Yeah, I wanted an update if you ever gave me some Guinness stout. See, I would. This is the grossest alcohol. No, I'm serious. Yes, I know exactly what you're trying to do. And I'm going to try and help my friend solve a problem. So right here, I just linked it. It's called Malort. Okay. It is like a regional Chicago thing that takes pride in how disgusting it is. Their tagline is it's not a drink for most people, but we're not most people. It's a traditional wormwood based digestive that has been thought of as a rite of passage or a hangover cure For many Chicagoans Malort is a drink that has defined the Chicago bar experience But it's like it's literally a drink that is now almost meme popular in the Chicago area because of how
Starting point is 02:17:39 unabashedly bad You don't need to poison it. No, it's still just regular. Is it a beer? No, it's like it's like a liquor or a digestive. That's usually like isn't is a Jägermeister. Don't they have something like isn't that what that is? I have no idea what kind of I don't actually know. But I know it's not like beer wine.
Starting point is 02:17:59 It's like a harder alcohol. I know when I was 21 and my my roommates were trying to get me to drink that awful Lithuanian beer I could just barely get through a bottle and I wanted to because I thought it looked cool and it was just awful It's so bitter. It's so so dark that it's awful I didn't like the Guinness is the worst my second or third year at shot show I it was I was hanging out with a bunch of like machine gun dealers and You know, I was a young kid at the time and And I thought that they all they were super cool. They've
Starting point is 02:18:25 been in the industry a while and they just only wanted to drink fucking Jaeger. So I had the worst Jaeger hangover of my fucking life. Like it was just awful. I have never had a sip of Jaeger since I don't buy the drinks. Yeah, you know, we went we went back to their hotel room. We're talking industry shit and whatnot, too. But they're just like constantly doing Jaeger shots all together. And I wanted to join in too. And that's what I was. Yeah. That's what only using blades like to when you're with him.
Starting point is 02:18:50 It's just constant Jaeger, Jaeger shots. I don't know why he like people have that fixation with just Jaeger. Like that shit's like cough medicine. It's so not good. Like strike one one licorice. Yes. Licorice is among candies that's bad. When they're doing their best to sell me black licorice, they can't do it. And then they add alcohol into that. And so it's just booze, but with all the sugar of a candy bar.
Starting point is 02:19:17 By the way, has Only Use Me Blade still alive? Yeah, yeah. I thought he was on like a good sobriety kick, but I don't know if that. Is he good? I haven't plugged in. I don't know what he's up to. He's So good for him good for him. He's been sober like 18 times and at this point I just yeah been waiting for a headline He swore off the pills it's nothing but PVC glue now
Starting point is 02:19:45 Nothing but airplane glue and gasoline for me That's what they call California sober Literally fucking die on his stream Yes, I don't know if it was his or that one of those other like leeches who was kind of like leeching awful Popularity, but yeah, this dude like fell down and died, but he didn't die on the stream. He like passed out on the stream. And then, um, the, he was laying there dying for some, no, he died in the hospital. I have laid on the show. You guys would have him back. He needs a microphone. Last time he showed up with no mic and that's it's a podcast.
Starting point is 02:20:21 I'd need to see how he's doing. Yeah. Maybe, maybe, you know, I gotta get Israeli tank commander. I keep spacing and forgetting to, to message the tank commander. Maybe that'd be a good duo. Only use me blade and the Israeli tank commander. Wow. That would dovetail so perfectly.
Starting point is 02:20:38 I want them to debate the Israel Palestinian conflict. Blade could speak for Palestine. That would be pretty funny only use me only use me only use me slingshot rock death though I think that the person who died like he was straight he's like a fan of their nonsense streams or whatever and he was also trying to break into that yeah and it does make sense that like if you join they're like stream everybody streaming themselves with their phones everybody is and so Obviously most people are on blade stream or whoever's most popular
Starting point is 02:21:13 But these other guys are like getting views too because people want all the points of view Well, this guy donated to himself to drink 15 shots or something crazy like that Then he drank 15 shots, which he paid himself to drink, and then he dies. Like, so he lost a half to a third of that money he donated to himself through the service via donation. If it was, I know it wasn't 99% sure that's what happened.
Starting point is 02:21:40 The same, the same certainty I am about that. James Polk cheese. Okay. Well then pretty sure. because you're right about a president having a cheese wheel. It was just I knew it. Yeah, but Yeah, did you guys hear about this? Do you guys remember the succulent Chinese meal guy? 82 years old today passed away RIP to him one of the Oh, passed away. RIP to him. He died on his birthday?
Starting point is 02:22:03 No, I don't think it's his birthday, but yeah, he's 82 years old and he died of prostate cancer. Do you guys see the interview that he did like not too long ago, like a couple months ago? No, I didn't. What'd he do? Somebody just went with him with a microphone. They were just like, hey, by the way, like this was you back in the day.
Starting point is 02:22:21 Like what was the story? It's like, did you actually steal the meal? He's like, gosh you back in the day. Like, what was the story? It's like, did you actually steal the meal? He's like, of course, of course I did. I was guilty as fuck. Look at the headlock here. What is the charge? You know well, sir. Oh, you know, you do well.
Starting point is 02:22:37 Oh, that's the one that got me on the penis. That's him. That's my penis. You know, I have to make a show of it. He had such like an authoritative, almost Saruman vibe to him. Shakespearean! Yeah, Shakespearean that I believed in. I'm like, why are they criminalizing this man for enjoying a succulent Chinese meal? I believed him.
Starting point is 02:23:00 I was like, there's no way this is like a meal thief. Like, they're clearly accosting. Australia is so funny. Like just what a silly country. I love them. Like never change Australia. Even the way they talk. Like it's so, so silly.
Starting point is 02:23:18 I think if there is like a global nuclear war, it really affects mostly the Northern hemisphere. I think there's an alternate reality where us and the Russians like do each other and Europe in and those Aussies are left to carry the flag. I think that's called Mad Max. Well, they got no two in that. And that was also the gasoline wars were a big part of that. And clearly there was some kind of a plague.
Starting point is 02:23:41 Everybody's radiated. They've got the those what's the V8 boys called? The boys in the show. They all had leukemia or some shit or I haven't seen blood cancer. You haven't seen fucking Mad Max either. None of them. No, none of it. How many times have you seen King of the Hill? The number. I'm not saying I'm sitting there like attentively like, oh, I can't wait for Hank to say this. Like it's just kind of on the background. You could throw fucking some of these classes.
Starting point is 02:24:10 Yeah, but after King of the Hills is Seinfeld. And then after Seinfeld comes the first nine seasons of The Simpsons. And then after that comes early Family Guy. And then early South Park. And then we're back to King of the Hill. King of the Hill really is the southern version of Friends, southern guy version of Friends. King of the Hill rocks. It's just such a funny show. It's a feel-good show for me. Everybody has those feel-good shows. For Kyle, I know 100% his is The Office. I'm rewatching The Office right
Starting point is 02:24:41 now and it's like, I get why this is so popular. I hadn't watched it in so many years. I'm rewatching the office right now. And it's like, I get why this is so popular. Like I hadn't watched it in so many years. I'm like, oh, I do. Like it's just a friendly show. Now when Michael leaves in a season or two, I'm gonna cash it. It's okay at first. It's got a good year in it after Michael in my opinion, but I've soured on that show so much over the years.
Starting point is 02:24:58 Not the show, but like, Pam. I hate fucking Pam. I despise Pam. Why'd you put that evil in me? Because now I'm watching through it and I'm like, now you see it. Now you see with my eyes. Shut down I see with your eyes. Yeah, it's like Satan came and went,
Starting point is 02:25:12 like opened your eyes to the evil that is Pam. Aside from her ex-fiance doing better after they broke up, what did Pam do so wrong? Bad timing. Pam was a failure at everything she ever attempts to do that is anyway Extracurricular or above the the office phone answerer that is her peak She never rises above it once in any regard whatsoever. She only ever sells one painting. It's it's a mercy sell to Michael even The lighting in it is a professional sell to Michael. Even the lighting in it is wrong. A professional artist, yes, yes.
Starting point is 02:25:47 Who failed art school, who failed everything she ever tried to do. And her end game was to defraud the office and muscle a weak employee into giving, into not giving her, but admitting that there was such a position as an office manager, a position which she claims to have. It's
Starting point is 02:26:05 fraud. She's defrauding the company out of an- Wait a minute. This is the worst person who's ever failed art school. Basically what happened- I was going to say, she got into art school. That's more than Hitler can say, and he's one of the most famous people ever. Yeah. Well, Hitler, I mean, he probably- Standards were higher in Austria. I promise you.
Starting point is 02:26:29 I mean, if I'm if I'm running an office for efficiency, do I want Pam Beasley or Adolf Hitler? You know, oh, well, can't be like, oh, is there a counting voice? Oh, the oh, did you guys notice the printer isn't working correctly? Oh, can someone fix that? Hitler would be in there. Has anyone seen Oscar? Waterboarding some guy.
Starting point is 02:26:47 Has anyone seen Oscar? Oh, God. Oscar has been taken care of. The shipping department has seen Oscar. Oh, we won't be worrying about Oscar or Stanley anymore. Also Mindy Kaling. OK, so that's one thing I've always been curious about, Hitler's feelings about black people, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
Starting point is 02:27:08 I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
Starting point is 02:27:24 I'm not sure. of story like that. Yeah, that proof. Check me on that. This isn't like cheese I want to know for real Have you seen the video of him like tweaking at the Olympics? It was like the 19? Yeah. Yeah, he was the frame rate They probably just that's a lot of us running. He just loved it. He could Distance running Victor's he was just so full of good ideas. He just couldn't stop Stop it. Did he learn to that guy meet or shake hands with Jesse Owens. Didn't do it. Really? He didn't meet Jesse Owens.
Starting point is 02:27:49 Who met Jesse Owens that it was a story? Because I've heard something like that. Well, he won the gold at the Olympics that year. And I think he beat the two Germans. And the famous photo, I believe, is them saluting on either side of him at bronze and silver. And Hitler's there watching. And he's got the whole master race sort of thing coming into those Olympics
Starting point is 02:28:06 So I'm sure it looked bad that His boys didn't sweep Yeah, but like it's running. What did he think was gonna happen? Well, I mean he they did take second and third Okay, they're okay. That's fine. Okay, I guess you're right. Yeah That is mean they're quick. They're they're speedy. They're known for it. Germans. Yeah. No, I don't think Germans are known for being that quick. I think, I think of
Starting point is 02:28:33 them more as like a, Oh, that's a Poland. More. I think the Polish and the Germans more is like a powerlifting race. Not a, not a race built for speed. I think of them as engineers, Germans. And, oh, but I was thinking like feats of athleticism. I'm trying to like, imagine what I picture a lot of Germans, a lot of blonde hair, I guess hockey, but isn't Germany good at soccer?
Starting point is 02:28:56 Are they good at that? I don't know either. I don't know. So, man, some European guy is listening to this right now being like, Oh, these Americans don't know that Germany's actually ranked three in the Premier Cup League of England. It's like get fucked we don't care about your gay sport. I only care about soccer when the World Cup comes around and it has a similar effect on me as it does as Game of Thrones does on Kyle. He's like
Starting point is 02:29:18 someone's out there spending 30 million dollars an episode on this thing that in itself grabs my attention And I'm like this isn't really my sport But every four years the whole world is fixated on it these guys are making The some of the wealthiest athletes on the planet that in alone that makes it makes them interesting to me But like our part of the world doesn't care I've never been more annoyed than like sitting in like a lunch or a brunch or something like that while the World Cup soccer was on.
Starting point is 02:29:48 Yes. And everybody just fucking erupts over fucking Uruguay versus, you know, Nicaragua. I'm like, dude, I could not give less of a fuck, dude. Just give me my shit. I'd rather watch a Taylor Swift concert. 100 percent. I heard they foiled a terror attack at the next Taylor Swift to concert. Yeah, I think they canceled it because of that Yeah, what happened later that two men were going to you know, shoot up a Taylor Swift concert and they were caught by the
Starting point is 02:30:14 By the authorities wonder who they wanted to shoot. I know it's about They caught some no one would shoot Taylor not even Isis. Okay, okay Alright They were going after the Swifties. I promise you. It's better than Demi Lovato or whatever that concert was in the UK. I was, it was a few years ago. I can't remember what that was, but it was like, uh, I want to say it was a Ariana Grande. Thank you. Oh yeah. Was that the French, wait, was that the French one
Starting point is 02:30:40 or was that a different concert somewhere in Europe? I don't recall it up. There was a this is years ago. There's a huge one in France. Remember that? And like cops didn't go in right away. Maybe it was like two two dudes with AKs, I think. Yeah. And like a small concert venue. Yeah. They were like executing people apparently. And the cops were still outside, not doing like like that one school
Starting point is 02:31:03 shooting here on steroids. I read under this rant at that time that I would like French policemen should be ashamed. Like, you know, say what you will about American police. And there's sometimes a little gung-ho attitude. Uh, they're not, they don't get pushed around by criminals. That's what I said after the French were just like too scared to go in there and do anything since then. You value has happened and we have pacified police as well. I hated that so much. It's just the worst. I was like, where are your hat a little lower today? Texas.
Starting point is 02:31:35 You've all, he was in my district. And so I spent a good bit of time there. And it was kind of shitty because the media is just like, gun tuber runs for Congress and you've all the. It's like, well, no, you've already by population is like 2% of my district, like stop making it sound like I'm running for mayor of Uvalde. But I still like the more I learned about that situation running in that area, the more I was like, Jesus Christ, you guys really did fuck that up. Like, I've been like, if you drive through
Starting point is 02:32:01 Uvalde, like, how you've probably done it on the way to the ox. I'm sure the you pass by the school and then three minutes later you pass by the police dispatch. Yeah, it's kind of sad. It's right there. Yeah, I don't understand how that Hey, you don't go in there like like, you don't have to be a hero to know like it's your job to do that. You've got a gun. They're killing kids in there like like it. You got to go. You got to go. You got to go now. Like now, now, now, now, now. We saw that good shoot like a few weeks after
Starting point is 02:32:36 where there was a trans person shooting at a national. It may have been. I just remember being on board with the cop with his POV and him being like, go, go go go Give me the keys. Give me the keys. I need two on me. We're preaching left preaching left you get that He took command it was Taylor Both of those cops came to the range day. Oh Sick really? Yeah, they it was a
Starting point is 02:33:00 Rex and Colosso they both came those guys are fucking rad. That's cool. I bet they're pretty good. You did exactly what you would want. Like, like they did what you'd hope a policeman would do. Yeah, that was the, the, the, yeah, the trans shooter, but it was like, she was laying in like the corner on a second story over a, a rail balcony or is that a different one? I mean, she was at the end by the end. She was, yeah, but that was like her last stand, right? Correct.
Starting point is 02:33:27 That's what I'm picturing. They went up a flight and then they step over like a dead six-year-old or something, like all the way there. It's so fucking awful. Yeah. Yeah, she, she had, I forget like which way that was going, but she was using a Kel-Tec Sub 2000 of all things. Yep. It's like, Jesus. I'm very familiar. was using a Kel-Tec sub 2000 of all things. Yep. It's like, Jesus.
Starting point is 02:33:45 I'm very familiar. You know, too, that is one of the choices of all time. That's a real piece of shit. That's the gun that I let Scott pepper spray me, and then I tried to shoot two liter bottles, and I immediately realized that pepper spray blinds you. That's when you were like, OK, maybe we take short break. Yeah, literally, that was God awful.
Starting point is 02:34:07 You have you ever been full on pepper sprayed? No. You have Brandon? Oh yeah, yeah, it's not fun. Oh yeah, how long did it? How long did it bug you? Like how long were you just alright? So in my case I was prepared for it, right? Because it wasn't like usual where you're attacking Alright, so in my case I was prepared for it
Starting point is 02:34:25 Right because it wasn't like usual where you're attacking some lady and she gets to drop on you with the pepper spray like usual Like your casual Friday night. Yeah, that's how most people get pepper spray Usually you pop around the side of the dumpster and then she's just I just went to the gun store and I was like you have pepper spray and they're like, yeah That's the stuff that prison guards use over there. It's saber red with OC spray. I was like, give me a can. And I had milk, I had a jug of milk on the tailgate and I had the hose ready. So right away afterwards I was able to start getting clean. So that helped a lot. But still, just to get, there was so much burning that I couldn't really do much or see for like 20 minutes
Starting point is 02:35:10 of like continuous cleaning before I, and the snot, the amount of mucus that you produce from the OC, it's ungodly. You become a mucus machine. It's like the worst cold you've ever had, but it's all loose and it won't stop. And after a while you're like, you blow so much out, but you're still not clear.
Starting point is 02:35:29 So your next breath in is sucking mucus in, and you're just like, you're like pulling it out of you. It's bad. It's so much. Isn't there like, it's like Malaysians or somebody like that. I can't remember what ethnicity it is, but they're completely immune to pepper spray.
Starting point is 02:35:42 That's crazy. Really? It's probably Indians. Now, Kyle, you did such a good job describing pepper spray. That's really it's probably Indians now Kyle He did such a good job I've we've remember we goofed around with that gun thing. I might be have my turn Yeah, yeah, I had a stun gun that I got at an army surplus store, right? And that thing's kind of fun, but if I was really motivated, I think I mean in the video We just pushed right through it. Like it was not. Yeah, it's just painful. It's Shocking, but it's a little pain. It's not too much bad than if you pinched me
Starting point is 02:36:08 as hard as you could. Could I ignore it if I wanted to? Sure. Have you been tasered, tasered like the real deal? I've been dry stunned, which is very different. And then obviously I shot Jeremy with the police taster that X26 or whatever. The stunning thing, those the real ones,
Starting point is 02:36:27 especially if you put it on a big muscle group like your thigh, like quad or something, it will arrest it and make it start doing this thing that makes you not able to use it anymore. And if you're trying to get someone's hand to handcuff them, you could apply it, I'm sure to like, I don't know, their forearm, their bicep, their shoulder, something like that. And they'd sort of like, and not be able to do that thing where you just sort of lock up like this on your stomach and sort of turtle and won't give them to your hands. You can force them to give you a leg or an arm by by making it wobbly from the dry stone. But the taser, when it shoots those barbs that stick into your skin, that's a whole different ride. That, that's a whole different ride.
Starting point is 02:37:05 That's that's a whole different ride. We did it to our buddy Houston Jones. Do you guys know who that is? I do not. It's like a bodybuilder. His entire YouTube channel is like getting hurt, essentially. So it's like all the different pain you'll inflict on himself. Like, like weed, weed eater to the shins, like that sort of thing. Like, I honestly don't know how his channel is still on YouTube. He's got a few million subs. And he's honestly like the nicest
Starting point is 02:37:29 fucking guy in the world. He's like really, really nice dude. But we did it to him in Michigan. We we actually had Chuck Liddell taser him. And everybody there is just like our one of the guys there I think his grand thumb was saying that like, Oh, hey, yeah, if you get stunned, like, or if you get a tasered like that, you're going to fall forward. So he put this big pile of leaves. We didn't have like, we're out in the woods. We put a big pile of leaves in front of him. And so we, we had Chuck shoot the tasers, the prongs hit his back, he locked up and fell backward, not onto the leaves, but
Starting point is 02:38:04 onto the barbs. Oh, the barbs went into his. That was that was real fun. I'm sure he enjoyed that. Yeah. The best way to do that is get on your knees already, because it's you. I've never been shot by. I always said if we can find someone who will pay me to get shot with that thing,
Starting point is 02:38:20 then I will do it. But I'm not doing it for funsies. You know what I mean? If like a new taser company came out and they wanted to push their taser and they're going to give me 10 grand, if I take a shot, oh yeah, line me up. I'm going to hate it, but I wouldn't do it for free. So taser, taser actually taser, the company sent me out like one of their CX, whatever, like the ones that shoot the prongs. They sent me out to do a video. And I thought this was right when the whole like the chick who shot the guy in the head,
Starting point is 02:38:46 like Taser, Taser, Taser. I was gonna do a video talking about that and kind of recreate it and whatnot, but to be honest, I really didn't fucking wanna get Tased. And by the time that it came in and whatnot, it was already starting to fade away, so it just never happened. But I'm still sitting on a Taser
Starting point is 02:39:00 if I ever wanna do that video one day. There are. What's the battery, the power supply on that is? It's like a single cartridge Like it's all self-contained you're popping a car you reload end of the gun and you've got a whole new taser It the barbs and everything are connected to the cartridge you pop the cartridge up for if I remember to keep it charged I assume I think it's a great new cartridges. I think they count those cartridges too. So no, I think each My understanding was that each cartridge maybe has a charge. That's what I thought. Yeah It's interesting like sure if I charged like a phone and then come and have it off off and then come back to it
Starting point is 02:39:38 Six months later. It's dead. Mmm. It may I don't know the power source It's probably something weird to create all that power in such a little tiny thing But it made Jeremy cry. I know that They made Jeremy fucking cry and he's a good old boy That might also be different if the power supply is completely cut off from the device Like they almost have something that kind of like you have this strip that gets in the way of the batteries and like a new Toy or some shit like that. You you have to pull that out to activate it. Right. As I was saying, and I was like, Oh, there was a slight drain on a turned off
Starting point is 02:40:10 phone, but it still holds true that I can have a, a battery for an RC car, not in the car sitting on the shelf and it drains my intelligence with electronics is here. We're talking here right now. They need, I'm not nearly as close. They need a semi-automatic taser rifle because I watch all those police videos. Taser failure seems to me to be around 70%. I would say 30% of the time they deploy a taser and it works like they want it to. It's a terrible rate. It fails most, well some of it's user error and some of it's just like
Starting point is 02:40:46 part of it's like I saw a guy wearing a raincoat get into it with the cops and it's like uh-oh like four shot taser revolver yeah maybe like maybe have them in like a I'm imagining like a vertical mags sir take your coat off you need multiple shots because as soon as they fail once, then they shoot the guy with the pistols anyway. So it's like- Or sometimes they don't do that. Like that lady who executed that guy because she- Well, she thought she had her taser.
Starting point is 02:41:16 She was trying to tase him. Yeah, yeah. And they're like, they look so similar. They have such similar weight. They feel the same in your hand as a gun. I said lady. it'd be, it'd be different if they were wildly different tools on different sides of your belt that had different ways.
Starting point is 02:41:30 Telling you like colors, colors, Shane Gillis, his sister trying to get her, her pistol back in her holster. I'm telling you, Shane Gillis, his sister, I saw some still of a Vance, the Trump's VP was on the airfield and. And I saw, I don't know, but it looks like that bitch is back in the lineup. How do you not lose your job after that? How did she? What? She didn't, she couldn't, she couldn't holster up nice and clean.
Starting point is 02:41:57 That bothered you? That's a fireball fence. If you're in that situation. Life on the line. No, she didn't. She was standing right by the Tahoe. I think my favorite part was that she tried to reholster, couldn't, and then so like brought it back out. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:42:13 Nobody saw that. Did anybody notice? Okay, I'm probably fine. This probably won't be a global thing. I bet nobody's looking. Nobody's looking. It's worse than that. There's a second video.
Starting point is 02:42:24 All right. So they they when they left there They all got in the same convoy and took trump to the local medical center wherever that was She gets out and gets her gun out there and has the same shit happen Like there's a whole other video of her in front of you know, uh at the emergency room How you pull under that awning and there's like a brick little everything. Yeah that they're there I'm sure they just took trump into the emergency room I wish there was footage of that. That's what I wanted to see I wanted to see the ER received Donald Trump that would have been fun and I gotta say what? Why did he'll like the Terminator?
Starting point is 02:42:57 Cuz it's an what happened what happened because look look I Think he got shot. I think a bullet hit his ear. I don't think that any, there was any, Woody and I were, this is right after it happened. We were like, maybe there's a theory out there that glass from the teleprompter, and if you don't know modern teleprompters are just a sheet of glass that the words are laid upon.
Starting point is 02:43:22 Yeah, and we thought, oh, maybe the bullet hits that, glass sprays his face a little bit, maybe that was it, maybe it wasn't a direct impact. But then you see the Times photo where you see the vapor trail of the bullet going past his head, that's pretty undeniable. I don't know if that's the bullet that struck his ear or just a different bullet that went by his head.
Starting point is 02:43:41 But the way he bled, you could see his ear was mangled a little bit. But then like FBI directors said that it was a ricochet, not that it was a fragment. Like, like, which to me makes zero sense. Okay, I'm listening. It got really political. A lot of people felt like that was kind of stealing valor in some way from a gunshot
Starting point is 02:44:02 victim. So, yeah, I don't understand what it would be ricocheting off of considering he was on an elevated platform, you'd have to miss by like 30 degrees and then bounce perfectly toward the target. You might've been like, that's a, that's a very odd thing. He was the thing that was foremost. The thing that had hit first would be discovered, right? Like I assume they looked at this
Starting point is 02:44:26 Crime scene very carefully. I mean in president former president got shot presidential candidate got shot If there's a bullet hole in a handrail somewhere, they'd see that right? Yeah, they'd find that Yeah the only way you could even declare that that you thought it was something like that is if you pulled like a Shattered jacket chunk out of his ear or out of his collar, then you'd be like, oh, look at the spalling. Look at this chunk of like destroyed bullet that flicked at him. But no, nothing like that happened because the trajectories are wrong, like you said.
Starting point is 02:44:56 And like it isn't a cartoon bullets bounce, but it didn't go past Trump, hit like a hit a piece of metal, they come back at Trump and like honest and if that happened that's even cooler. And if you really like if it was a it was a real Nick because he was fine. I would guess that it hit like that you know like that fleshy part on the outside of the cartilage out here. Yeah. Because anything here is going to cause a lot of blood just like if you like you might not think it, but if like somebody wraps you on the top of the head with something, there's a ton of blood vessels in your scalp.
Starting point is 02:45:30 But you're going to believe like crazy and all up here, there's nothing. So like all of you get on your head, ever get it like a hematoma, like you can get a golf ball size lump on your head from a good knot. Yeah. And so like, I think that it just caught that fleshy part, didn't tear off any cartilage. Cause if it tore off cartilage, I feel like that would take longer to heal. Unless he's just got some wild doctors. Yeah. And so it makes sense. He just got hit in like, him so barely, barely fucking touched his ass. It's I'm sure he's like, damn, I wish it hit me a little more you'll
Starting point is 02:46:05 like you guys see the video that I made recreating it mm-hmm haven't seen so actually I did it I did a recreation both of that shot what it would have looked like from the shooter's angle with the equipment he used and also we recreated the Secret Service return shot on the shooter like just blew the fucking ballistic head open but genuinely did a Donald Trump like ballistic head and shot the ear at a hundred thousand frames per second with ballistic high speed and showed what it would look like with the 556
Starting point is 02:46:33 like nicking through the ear like that. The only thing it looked way more dramatic than it was cause it was ballistic gel, obviously, but with cartilage of the ear like that, I don't think there'd be like, you gotta remember the 556 is like 0.22 inches. But with cartilage of the ear like that, I don't think there'd be like you got to remember the 556 is like point two two inches Like it's not big and it's not gonna have any expansion if it's going through like a tiny flap of cartilage
Starting point is 02:46:54 Or a tiny little flap of skin So like honestly, that's not a hard injury to recover from and have like rubbed him though No, the way you're saying it you make it sound like a quarter inch bullet went through his ear. That's not what happened. He was just barely touched by it. It's hard to say. Like it really, like it's, unless we, I would love to have like an actual, like the surgeon like come out,
Starting point is 02:47:15 Hey, this is exactly where it hit. Here's a diagram of the ear. Here's the path of the bullet. That would be really helpful. I'll tell him, I'll tell you what I told him. Stuck on Band-Aid, Branaid brand because band-aid stuck on me. I think it just rubbed against him. I'm not trying to take it. He was grazed or a sat or I don't I don't I'm not trying to lessen what happened to him at all but like holy shit it barely touched him. To me it speaks more to the evangelical talking points that say the hand of God itself guided,
Starting point is 02:47:47 like moved Trump's chin to the right a little bit and made him dodge that. He literally dodged it Neo style. That is like, has there ever been a better bullet dodge? Because you see that graphic of like where the shooter was lined up right before Trump did the herky jerky and like, it was, it would have like popped him like right like brain matter on the stage. Yeah. Everyone gave the guy a hard time for being a bad shot, but he was a moving target. Yeah. Trump dodges bullets.
Starting point is 02:48:15 He dodged bullets. Also you're using a five, five, six with zero magnification. You're using a- I was going to ask, what optic did he have? It looked like from the shitty resolution photo that we saw it looked like he had a Zero magnification red dot that was mounted too far forward on get this it was a dpms ar-15. That is yeah on a long time What does that like it's a shitty brand? You're looking at like three moa So basically that real us the optic you're at a hundred and fifty yards hundred thirty yards
Starting point is 02:48:45 the optic, you're at 150 yards, 130 yards, your best case scenario is like a four and a half inch five inch variable on your target. What is like moa is minute of angle. So basically, that means one inch at 100 yards, two inches at 200 yards, that sort of thing. So if you're looking at three moa at 150 yards, I think that's 4.5 moa if I'm not mistaken It's a way of measuring the accuracy of the of the gun It means that it's gonna shoot a 3 inch group at that if it's shooting 3 oma a perfect shooter would get a 3 inch group It yeah the rifle in a vice so then you got to add on the optic and how imprecise that is if it's even set Perfectly and certainly not set for a hundred, you, and then, and then a kid on a hot roof.
Starting point is 02:49:26 Yeah. To add to what Brandon said. Who's just been discovered by a car. I read about the optic and the article said the same thing Brandon did, which was an un-magnified red dot. So it's literally just like looking through a piece of glass that has a red dot on it,
Starting point is 02:49:38 like no zoom capability whatsoever. So like that's a... That's a low budget assassin. Yeah. The deep state that could have done better. They went they sent me the gayest loser in the arsenal. Why don't you lose? There's he's out there like try again. Why do you send me your hardest battles? You're my gayest loser.
Starting point is 02:50:07 So I'm glad he didn't do that, like he didn't show like a picture of the kid and like riff on it. I'm not sure if that was the next I would have liked. No, look at this fucking loser. Look at this loser. This is a guy that got no pussy. I know, folks, I know it's embarrassing. No pussy for this. Died with no pussy.
Starting point is 02:50:23 Can you call up no pussy? No, the no pussy shooter. I saw him after he'd been shot is all bloody. And then I on police activity, go of police channels. There's a unedited 28 minute video of one of the cops up on the roof with the body and the rifle and everything. I was I was trying. Yeah, I was trying to get a good look at the rifle,
Starting point is 02:50:45 but he never approaches it. He just stands, he's on one side of the body and the rifle's on the other, so you don't get a great look at it. I'd love to get a screenshot of that at some point, because I was really hoping I was right with that optic being like awkwardly too far forward. It's on, yeah, there's like-
Starting point is 02:51:01 Where presidents always shot with magic bullets, huh? Explain that to me. It's on. Yeah, there's like when it's always shot with magic bullets, huh? Explain that to me. It's because they're hiding something. It's because it's not what it appears as all the aliens. Are you saying it's aliens again? Taylor leaves and aliens. Do I? I do.
Starting point is 02:51:18 Anything more than anything, I believe in them. All right, I believe in them then. I know you do. It's your greatest fear, being molested by an alien. Dude, it is my biggest fear, being molested by aliens. It's genuinely... All right. I don't want to burn alive or whatever in an upturned car because my lower body doesn't work from the impact. car because because my lower body doesn't work from the impact like that's pretty that's pretty shitty but I really don't want aliens especially the ones from um fire in the sky those ugly gray aliens with their open mouths and their dark black unfeeling eyes to like to experiment and vivisect me on a fucking sci-fi table that That is one of my biggest life fears. I feel like this is almost a little arrogant and bordering on narcissistic.
Starting point is 02:52:08 Like they have a whole planet of people to molest and you think you're the belle of the ball here? In the 90s everybody was getting scooped up. You don't even you don't remember you were too young. It was a scary time Taylor. It was a scary time. You're four and a half years older than me. Nick can learn a lot in four and a half years older than me. You're so. You can learn a lot in four and a half years. You can learn a lot. I was only two, but Kyle was a wizard in six and a half.
Starting point is 02:52:30 Four and a half years, boy, I tell you. That was in the era when Fox would have a special every Friday night about alien abductions and cattle mutilations. Do you remember cattle mutilations? I remember that. Crop circles. Somebody was actually going around fucking with cows,
Starting point is 02:52:44 which is the awful part. Like somebody's out there burning cows with lasers and shit and draining their blood. Some weirdo in fucking Oklahoma. But they blame it on the aliens and they'd have this 30 minute special and I'm 12 or something and I'm just like holy shit it can't all be fake. That's I remember that's exactly what I thought. I was like there's no way you can do 30 minutes a week of complete bullshit. Some of this is real and I got that in my head and I have it on here. That's why I see X-Files. You can do four hours a week of complete bullshit. You can't. Seven
Starting point is 02:53:17 year old Kyle's Occam's razor. It's like, all right, if half of this is true and half of it's bullshit, that was exactly it. Then it's so scary. If half of it's true, then they're coming for us. I've never been spooked by aliens. No? It's never been a... There's no defense against them. Yeah, but I just feel like I am so not interesting enough to be taken by an alien. All right, so a good movie, an okay movie came out like last year, the year before, and it's an alien is in this lady's house. It's like a home intruder, but it's an alien and she's fighting the alien home alone style. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I saw that one.
Starting point is 02:53:54 I can't remember the name. It was pretty fucking good. It was pretty all right. She had it like she had dead under like a fucking sign rug or something. Yeah, she like she kills it at the end. I guess it maybe has yellow blood. It was it was cool it because I I genuinely fear those gray aliens from the X-Files Hey, I just watched too much of that shit as a kid I was I was seven or eight watching the X-Files and that shit was scary, dude
Starting point is 02:54:17 I'm still a little afraid they'll come get me They won't get you They're not real. They just have to talk to you like, Kyle, stay in the line! Hello, my friends! I'll say whatever the fuck they want. I'll say whatever they want. If you get abducted by illegals, it's going to be Pedro and Enrique. Oh my god, is it that Tim Allen movie where the aliens have been watching my YouTube videos?
Starting point is 02:54:43 They just got to them? And they think I'm a warlord and they need me to fight their battles for them. We do that. That's what you want. Alien abduction. Yeah. Well, I mean, they'd be better than a vivisected experiment. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see what happens when we cut his butthole in half. Ah, he hates it. And the other guy looks at it and goes, they always hate it. You're gonna be shitting like an elite from Halo.
Starting point is 02:55:08 They always hate it. Sir I don't mean to be a drag, but we're not learning anything. Shut up put him on the table. Rassles next up. So fucking scary. As if they couldn't just give us a little remote scan with their space age technology and immediately know all our... Is that what we do to dogs at the veterinarian clinic? We just immediately give them a $5,000 MRI? I tell you, if we had the technology
Starting point is 02:55:34 to fly trillions of space years to go to another planet and then just pick people up on a lark, because imagine these aliens that would be coming here and doing this slap shot job, these are hobbyists. They're not even part of the alien government. Taylor, they're just fucking around. Like if we did that, we'd put a dog in a scanner. There we have scanners, even put animals in. You're you're see, see, here's the problem. You're imagining that they sent their best, that this is like their equivalent of a fucking astronaut. No, no, no, no, no, no. This is like a hillbilly alien. This is like a hillbilly alien. It's the complete opposite of what I just said.
Starting point is 02:56:08 I said that they were the, they're hobbyist retards who are like, let's go on down to earth and look at someone's ass. Taylor, you keep saying these are their scientists. It's not like that. You're just wrong. Trump would be out there being like, they're not scientists. They're not the worst. They're not sending their best from Zeichlan 6.
Starting point is 02:56:28 If I went to some other planet and discovered another like life time, what am I looking for? Another life and there were like certain holes in it, you know, holes on the blow holes on the top or whatever. I'd definitely spend special attention to on those holes. See what's in there or they do that hole. Yeah, it seems like the least invasive way to see what's inside them, you probe it.
Starting point is 02:56:50 See, but that's the main thing, what we would do is the analog of us in this alien society, their highest ranking scientists, or is it the retards? It's the retards. These people are enlightened enough, legalized, I think they see it as bestiality maybe and they're very enlightened. So it's legal on their planet.
Starting point is 02:57:09 Boo boo. Why it's against goat fuckers. That's a good point. Well, you know, we're talking about this just the other day. He agreed with me. I was like, it doesn't make sense that you can enslave them. You can breed them. You can force one to fuck the other like you decide which ones fuck Okay, you can chop them up for me You can cut a hole in the side of their digestive system and put a porthole in them So that your children need and reach into their innards anytime
Starting point is 02:57:39 They want just to see how you digest cud we can do do all that. We can do all that. We have cooking channel about melting them in various ways. We cook other things in their melted fat. We cook their babies in their fat and then stuff that into their meat. Yeah. You can't fuck them. You can't fuck them, Salem.
Starting point is 02:58:00 Why can't you fuck them? All of those other things serve a purpose that isn't to cum. Yeah, that's true. You act like cum coming is not a good reason to do something. Yeah, but you could go to the other counter. You just checkmated yourself, sir! You can either go to the counter or jack off like in the tunnel. It would probably be like three cycles from some guy running for president who's like,
Starting point is 02:58:24 yeah, we should be able to fuck him. Like, why not? You know? 2032, 2036. President Catboy, what do you think? Going pictures of like human and goat vaginas and their similarities. Will we finally see VP Fido's real face?
Starting point is 02:58:43 Or will he be in his fursona? What is the new thing about the Democratic VP and having to get his stomach pumped from horse cum? What? I mean, I've just seen it. Now if that were the latest dig against him. I would have heard about it. It's popped up on Twitter the last two days and I can't tell if it's a troll or not I would imagine so wouldn't you? Yeah, I would imagine there's no way this guy did drink But how much of anything do you have to drink to get your stomach pumped? Well, how much horse cum can a man have?
Starting point is 02:59:17 I I mostly want to I'll tell you that. More than the little wood is like, it's not, you know, in between. The leader doesn't do it. It just gives you a heartburn. I think we stay within the realm of reality. There is a story that I think he dressed his dog up in some sort of like flamboyantly gay outfit and took it to the pride parade. Well, I mostly wanted to work.
Starting point is 02:59:38 Maybe the dog's gay. It was a gay dog. It's fine. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, I don't know much about it. Do you believe animals are gay, Taylor Uh, no They're clearly gay taylor. They have sex with the same sex in the well, then those ones are yeah
Starting point is 02:59:53 Or but sometimes they'll be a flip-flopper aren't you? I'm a flip-flopper call me a dog. Oh shit. That was easy Sometimes i'll see stuff where they're like actually homosexuality exists in the dolphin culture where they're like, actually homosexuality exists in the dolphin culture. And then you actually read what they're doing and it's like, no, that's a dominant male raping a subordinate into submission. They're not like, it's time to-
Starting point is 03:00:12 Oh, okay. Oh my God. You're talking about BDSM now. I think you're just proving our case. You act as if like human rape isn't about dominating and violence sometimes. That's a little CNC play, Taylor. You know what that is?
Starting point is 03:00:32 Isn't that kind of printing? Well, it is. Wrong. No, that's cutting. But it's consensual non-consent, Taylor. A little rake play. Oh, well then. You've never heard of CNC? No. That's what those animals are doing. They're doing a little CNC play and you're over there instilling your own dark human judgments on them. And they're going to keep doing it. If they're right in the bottom of the sea, I'm proud enough to stand on land and say, not for this guy. I think what is it that dolphins fuck like they use some sort of poor secret? You are trainers, people, trainers, people.
Starting point is 03:01:01 OK, they'll drown people like like like puffer fish They put their their prehensile dolphin dicks in their mouth and they do two different things They I think they might take the puffer fish and get high on them They do this thing where they like fuck with them and they they release this chemical and the dolphins all like to like get high Off of it. They don't kill the thing. They just like beat it up to make it give off. It's it's whatever Defense pheromones and they get high shit off that. But then they also fuck something. I can't remember what it was that they were sticking their dolphin dicks in. Dolphins are fucking wild.
Starting point is 03:01:31 They're rough customers. There's something to be said about a level of intelligence it takes as a species to be so intelligent that you want to get high and get dumber. Yeah. There's some monkeys that do it. I can't remember what they do. They like eat ants that have done something or something. I remember walking the fermented animals and stuff. I'm sorry fermented apples The monkeys that get I think they're doing it accidentally
Starting point is 03:01:56 No, because they keep doing it. It tastes the monkey. Okay monkeys. I believe yeah. Yeah monkeys for sure are getting drunk on purpose because there's like, you've seen those videos of tourists in like Costa Rica or whatever and a little fucking monkey comes by and we'll drink someone's drink. They'll just like, I saw a monkey scalpa man. There's no, how big of a monkey. It was one of those scary like Indian monkeys with the fangs. It like, like a baboon maybe like not a full size size like blue-assed one like Rafiki. Not Rafiki from fucking Lion King. So not a baboon.
Starting point is 03:02:30 Not, maybe it was like a mini baboon. It was all like tan like a lion. It was Asia, it's not a baboon. Well, in any case, the motherfucker jumped on this dude and bit his head and like jerked and like scalped him. Like pulled him, like went full Comanche on him, scalped him. It was all I was kind of injuries like where are you finding these videos fucking internet bro. Where the word monkey activity it's on YouTube. You never miss it. Upload scalper.org my website bro.
Starting point is 03:02:59 That was a video of the week last week. Come on. No matter how like no matter how much you like re-st back people are just gonna think that you had like a bad hair implant and fucking yeah yeah what you have a hair plant transplant done by a monkey yes that's why there's bits of banana rind in the stitching whatever oh here here's the video here watch this monkey scalp this man. I can't watch it I need to see this because I think monkey combat is wildly I haven't so I'm not gonna watch it nor Have I seen it in like a year because it really bothers a short video Let me know. I'll just watch for your guys reactions
Starting point is 03:03:38 No, oh Okay, he was it's not the scalping I expected so the monkey, would you say it's like a 65 pound monkey, Taylor? That? Yeah. I mean, that's probably a 25, 30 pound monkey. Oh, okay. I'd say not very big.
Starting point is 03:03:59 Huh. And he's sitting on some guy's lap and the man just looking up at the monkey and just like, I don't know, he sort of crawls to his back and then just rips a like a two and two and a half inch wide strip of scalp off. Fucked up. Hard as fuck from now on though. He's going to have to part his hair there forever. That's fucked.
Starting point is 03:04:18 It looks like he didn't have much to parts. He'd be right. He didn't, but, but you know, you don't want to get scalped no matter what. I, I, I hated that. I hated that video. Thanks for sharing Yeah, I couldn't watch it I couldn't watch it myself The second reason that monkey had the success he did is the guy was genuinely I didn't watch it that dude could beat up that Monkey monkeys. Oh for sure Monkey like it's you can tell it's not a big monkey because he's an Indian guy who are already small and so like that smelly on top of them isn't that big. Like that. But there's no way to stop that attack other than don't be a retard and don't like goad monkeys into
Starting point is 03:04:55 crawl on a low guard. I'm gonna try to like impress a girl maybe. He's like, I'm definitely getting night. I'm definitely showing me Bob's andigene if I do this. Yeah. Yeah. Step one, I grew up on a train. Step two, with my monkey business. Oh, this has gone poorly for Indian people are so fucking funny. I just looked up the the Olympic totals. Oh, we're killing it. We're back on top. Huge lead 30 to 29 over that bronze stack we've got. We can third place all day. All China can do is get golds. They suck at silvers and bronze. We don't count bronzes.
Starting point is 03:05:45 That is something that bullshit countries do. Are we leading overall and most golds? We're leading overall and most golds is the real contest. And we're winning in that. But India is only up to one silver and four bronzes. Which is kind of crazy because they have the most people now. They have the most people and they want less one medals What honey?
Starting point is 03:06:06 Armenia hockey I think it's field hockey because they were wearing shorts one the bit in the picture. They went that good at it Ross in the different swimming leagues I was in first second and third place in one league anyway got five three and one point So if you won the event, you won, right? Even if the other team went second and third, they got four points and you get five. That's cool. I think that's the way we should do these medals. Five points for gold, three for silver, one for bronze,
Starting point is 03:06:37 and then see who is the best. What happens at the end though? Do we just put anything on the line with China? What do we, what do we gamble with China? I want Jackie Chan. He's ours. Does he already live here? No, he's he's one of them. Oh, well, he doesn't he doesn't walk in. I don't want him.
Starting point is 03:06:56 Chinese food versus hamburgers. They want all of our carbon emissions. And that's something trying to India would be taking the gold in. Hating rivers. I don't like to bring up that statistic because per capita we're way worse. Yeah, well, you know what? It's all about framing, Kyle. I don't bring up that part ever.
Starting point is 03:07:17 Yeah, they do all the polluting. They are like 50 times more of us. Shut up! All of you. Yeah, but we don't have literally the way. We don't have litter the way they do to be fair though like 40 You know the the equal statistic of that most of them don't have cars or cell phones or anything of the sort So, you know what? I want I want to know what the ukraine is having a war and they're like doubling up on india Of an aircraft carrier is like I want to what the carbon footprint of a fucking aircraft carrier is
Starting point is 03:07:50 Now I know the thing runs on like golf balls of uranium or whatever But it ain't made out of golf balls of uranium That thing was expensive Like what's the fucking environmental impact of that motherfucker? Kyle, you're familiar with that they did the math subreddit Love it There was a post on there that said that one of Taylor Swipp's some, I think it was Taylor's who took a flight to
Starting point is 03:08:09 France to have like lunch or something. Like she wanted to get or something. So she flew a private jet over to France and the tweet was that she had more carbon emissions on that sort of whatever, you know, trip for funsies, then you will create an entire life of driving. So they're like, hey, somebody do the math on this. And it turned out to be untrue, but only by a little bit. The amount of CO2 she made on that flight is almost as much as on a lot of kerosene. Yeah. It's's a lot of that's fine I can see oh
Starting point is 03:08:46 too it's what plants crave mmm that that's actually true I know yeah it has but I don't that's what plants crave is what plants crave in a literal sense so she really was just feeding trees. That statistic you just quoted seems actually way better than I thought it would be. The Department of Defense would be the 55th worst polluter in the world if it were a country. I would have figured the amount of planes we have in the sky, the amount of aircraft carriers, like we'd have to be so. You know what I also think, like say what you want about the EPA under various administrations, but I definitely don't allow cancer causing burn pits out behind like
Starting point is 03:09:33 in our own barrel in our country. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like and they're not factoring in that the shit like that that happens. Like God knows what we've I mean, we lost like half a dozen nuclear weapons. Are we not going to count those as the broken arrows? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, a lot of nukes. We're also not counting those toxic burn pits that happened in Iraq and shit. You know, that's definitely not connected.
Starting point is 03:09:55 Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I think we we did it. The US is so funny. Like, let's get after we do something, we'll be like, you were right. We did assassinate that person. What are you going to do about it? Yeah. All right.
Starting point is 03:10:12 Here's what we do. How many nukes do you think the United States has misplaced or lost over the years? And not recovered? 16. Not recovered. Yeah. Five minutes ago, I would have said zero, but given the conversation we just had six. Got a nine, I got 16.
Starting point is 03:10:29 Okay, then 12. Are you saying six, Woody? Pick a number. 16. 16. All right, I'm gonna say seven. Zach, I'm not prepared. Oh, I thought you had it.
Starting point is 03:10:41 I wanted to play two. I was like, hold on, wait, you're guessing and you had to fucking answer? Exactly. At least six. Oh, wow thought you had it. I wanted to play too! Wait, you're guessing and you have to fucking answer? At least six. Any of us could be right. I love that you just posited a hypothetical with this air of like, I know the answer. I knew we lost like several. I knew it wasn't one. It was like, yeah, that one time we lost a nuke, that was wild, right?
Starting point is 03:11:02 It's like, yeah, every 10 years or so just whoops. I did a video at one point of a there was a B 52 or something that went down over North Carolina. We lost two nukes in Greensboro or Greenville and uh, they basically just gave up on one. They recovered like the bomb, the part that would make it explode essentially, but then they They basically just left the rest of it It was like in a fucking sinkhole and they were like, alright, well, this is like if the US government can't excavate it It's fine. We'll just fucking buy this plot of land and seal it off Yeah, it's it's wild that we just lost a few
Starting point is 03:11:39 I think it's mostly I think a lot of it anyway was because At the height of the Cold War and before ICBM technology became quite so prevalent where we just had fleets of them or missile silos everywhere they kept those those planes in the air all the time loaded with nukes. It was called Operation Chromedome. We had like we had Stratforges strataata strata fortresses or whatever doing hot laps Around basically the the northern hemisphere just to keep nukes in the air at all time so bad ass and then we lost them Yes, you have quite a lot That's so embarrassing. It's not a big deal for us. That's such a big Don't worry Taylor. We have more
Starting point is 03:12:23 Like we lost a lot. What if I want to have sci-fi, maybe where was the new sci-fi movie that I crave? Or even if it was an anime or anything, just let me see this story. I want the aliens to show up and be blown away by how well armed we are. I want to be like, holy shit, there's 50,000 warheads. Yes, sir, they're on the way now. Well, there's nothing we can do then, that's it. And then they just all die.
Starting point is 03:12:49 And then we harvest their technology. I just want the beginning of the story to be us just wiping the floor with an alien invasion. Even in sci-fi, that would be far-fetched. The end of the story is a nuclear winter. Yeah, they kind of do. We shoot them into space. We don't shoot them down here.
Starting point is 03:13:03 It would have to be set in the far future where we're at least somewhat two years to aliens. Here's the scenario, because I just realized. Would you ever show up at the, like if you went to the most vast and impressive termite mound in all of Africa, would you be like, wow, billions of these live here? Unbelievable technology.
Starting point is 03:13:21 I think it would be more like a hipster. A hipster tour group shows up to like a warring race in the Amazon. Like, oh, holy fuck, wait a minute. What it would actually be, we'd be like a TV show. What if they're little and I've always said, what if they're little ant people, like they came from one gigantic ant colony where there wasn't a war. Everybody's in a hive mind scenario. So they've never had combat. They never had
Starting point is 03:13:45 France and Britain warring with each other for centuries and after centuries driving the production of firearms technology and all sorts of weaponry. They don't need a lot of guns in space because it's not too crowded. They show up completely unprepared, not even understanding the concept of interspecies war or conflict in general, perhaps. Maybe when they, maybe they've never even had disagreements because of the hive mind. So the idea of having to solve a disagreement with violence is that that's a step beyond where their, their minds could even go.
Starting point is 03:14:13 But then they show up fucking here wanting all our sugar. And we've got so much. And where do they come? USA baby, they come for the sugar. And we take them down. We take them down. They don't even understand our technology. And the whole planet, Russia too,
Starting point is 03:14:25 we launch all of our nukes at their ant spaceships, all of them. We sit all the nukes into space at the ant ships and we completely destroy them. But, and, and in the next day we realized we just completely got rid of all the nukes. Nobody has nukes anymore. It's a new world. And so we get to live in that future where we've got ant technology and there's a break. I would not watch this movie. You'd watch. You'd watch. You'd watch a season of it. You'd watch. The ant people have arrived and they somehow have the most advanced technology ever
Starting point is 03:14:56 and slingshots. They've got ant drive. That's it. They've got they've got they've got, you know, space travel. Then you get season two where we figure out how to weaponize the ant technology. And we have super-duper- No, the termites show up. The termites were chasing the ants. You're too fixated on bugs. There's a warrior species. You're so fixated on bugs. You want them to be monkey people like us? So I want them to be insects.
Starting point is 03:15:18 Yeah, I would like them to be monkey people. The insect life cycle is really neat, too. Imagine if it's a hierarchy of bugs where they kind of like starship. I'll try mantis. But more diverse. I like more diversity. I need like millipedes, like, like running around, getting intel and shit. And I need like flying, like fluttery stuff.
Starting point is 03:15:35 Like I need a worm boss, like job of the hut, but he's a big brain worm. We can just beat their society by teaching them racism. Get all the millipedes. The queen will be sexy though. You want to, you do want to do, you do like a sexy ant queen. Like she'd have human titties inexplicably. I would want like some sort of insect pope, but he's a mantis. One of the mantis family. That's a very regal. You guys are getting very close to just describing the plot of Halo. Large mantises are terrifying. Yeah, a big mantis, and he's the only one that can speak English, actually.
Starting point is 03:16:05 Why am I encouraging this? I don't like this idea. I don't like it. Okay, all right. Well, I mean- Like what if there were multiple alien species and you had like a prophet of truth or something like that, that was just like an alien bishop?
Starting point is 03:16:15 Ah, see, now this seems like it has legs. They could make a three game, five game series about it. Yeah, but the Spartans are stupid. I don't want to do that i like i want some little space marine guys like they have to all be the same kind of insect because i've watched enough of those japanese videos that if you put like different insects together they make no bones or and waste no time about like but they've going to the throat but they're intelligent they've evolved and like maybe the the master race has like some sort of pheromone signaling they can do to control the lesser bugs. That's kind of fun. I like that. Yeah. But also
Starting point is 03:16:52 I don't think they'd I don't think the ant people would get the technology except through war with the mantises and the millipedes right? I think it's and the if they lived in peace forever it would just be the termites are like their arch enemies enemies the termites like they go at a big time. Yeah, I think the termites spit acid if that Pixar cartoon was Yes. Yeah, I remember watching that as a kid and being like They're they're marching off to war. Do you remember that part? Yeah Yeah beginning and he's like look out these guys, you know spit Is a guy's voice the same as putty from Seinfeld, that big answer is Stallone. I think it's Sylvester Stallone.
Starting point is 03:17:32 Like whatever. I don't remember who it was. I remember the big rock. You could do better. Stallone. It's Sylvester Stallone. It's such a dude. If it gets you so pumped in the soundtrack, so good. I have a tiger. The thrill of the fight rising up to the challenge of your rival. You're the last survivor.
Starting point is 03:17:57 Just saying the whole song. The dead of the night. All right. Keep going. What is the next line? I don't know. I gotta sing it to know it. It's like the ABCs. You can't start in the middle. Dead of the Night.
Starting point is 03:18:11 I don't know the rest. No. Yeah, that's a wonderful movie. It won the Oscar for best original screenplay. Stallone wrote that shit. It's real good. Like, he's not stupid Stallone. He's like a heartfelt character.
Starting point is 03:18:23 No, I know. Ansel was good. I liked it. I didn't like it. I didn't like it. He's he's not stupid Stallone. He's like a heartfelt character. No, I know Ants was good. I liked it. I didn't like ants. It was like the bootleg bugs life I think I mean it was but I was in I was in a mode at that age Really? I loved bugs life and also ants was like a an addendum to that movies can own it, right? like this movie was a D but since I was the perfect target audience at the time, I gave it a B. That's what a... What's the third Star Wars movie with the Ewoks? Return of the Jedi? Oh, maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Return of the Jedi. It was supposed to be Revenge of the Jedi. That would have been a good one. I was the right age to like Ewoks when everything dropped, so...
Starting point is 03:19:02 I was too. I didn't realize all the hatred for Ewoks because I haven't watched those movies since I was like a kid. And I always thought the Ewoks were kind of fun. I was like, oh, man, these things are so cute and they're so fun. I hope they help actually help defend the planet. Like I was I was at the age where like seeing them like bumble around in ATAT was like, oh, yeah, they're helping. But they're corded shitty rope
Starting point is 03:19:28 Why do they have that set up like they were all ready for this like resistance? Situation I I don't I'm not gonna have anything to do with Star Wars anymore. I'm not gonna watch anymore So close on Marvel, I'm done. No Marvel's coming back. Dude, you know, I was on the rebound Taylor I hate to inform you with my Do you see that one the Deadpool movie? I haven't seen it yet. I haven't seen it yet I haven't seen it yet I care so much don't tell him about the five times throughout the movie that Ryan Reynolds turns to the screen breaks the fourth wall and smirks there's a lot of cameos I don't nobody can firmer deny, but I think Aragorn shows up like I think they yes I think they bring Aragorn from Vigio Morgenstein as Neither because I don't want any spoilers they bring like a bunch of people from a bunch of different universes
Starting point is 03:20:16 It's gonna be fucking sick. I'm gonna say ever part of the main Ryan Reynolds looks to the camera and says I'm the Deadpool baby and then Deadpool's all over the place He's so funny. It's funny. He's funny guy, Taylor. Just as a movie star. He just has no damn medium. Every movie I've seen of him.
Starting point is 03:20:37 He's just he's just himself. He's a guy who maxed out charisma. Like he's just he can't not like the guy. Or apparently you can. I guess you're telling me. You're telling me that he's just he can't not like the guy or apparently you can You're saying that he exudes comedy and he is so naturally hysterical that he doesn't even need a Script a character. He just exudes funny to the point that he's made a career out of it. That's quite the compliment I'm sure he'd love that if you heard you right now. That's pretty, that's definitely what I said. That's definitely what I said.
Starting point is 03:21:08 That's how I'm going to see it. No, but I don't even care about that. I called that a year ago. That thing's gonna make like a billion, billion and a half dollars. It's already the biggest R-rated movie. It'll be one of the biggest movies of all. It'll be one of the biggest movies of the year.
Starting point is 03:21:19 I saw that it crossed 800 million. Robert Downey Jr. fucking coming back as Dr. Doom actually is pretty sick, dude. I kind of like that. Can you explain that to me? So he's gonna be a different character within the universe? So what they opened themselves up to, I don't know, five years ago was the multiverse. So and it is part of the comics. The comics do it a lot because it allows you to rewrite stories in various ways. Like what if Peter Parker had, what if Peter Parker's girl, Mary Jane had been bitten instead and they do a whole universe where Mary Jane is spider woman. Yeah, what if Tony Stark had Down syndrome?
Starting point is 03:21:53 Like all the different, like, realities. All the different realities. So, they're just going to go for it. I'll figure out where that goes. I'm going to go to a universe where he's Dr. Tony. You have to stop robbing candy stores. He takes a bed sheet. He's a small price to pay.
Starting point is 03:22:12 Oh God. Yeah. But to answer your question, Taylor, there's multiverses. So there's no rules like you're thinking, you know, and so this is a multiverse where he chooses to use his suit for evil, right? Well, I hope that it's a universe We're not like that like There's no way dr. Doom's a good guy
Starting point is 03:22:37 Actually, he's pretty conflict. Yeah, he's not a good guy, but he's He chose some fucking awful branding. He did It's his name. His name is dr victor von doom uh that's fair yeah yeah even the down syndrome one's making fun of him for that but he's in the same way in the same way the black anther is from a make believe place called wakanda dr doom is from a make-believe place called Wakanda. Dr. Doom is from a make-believe European Country, I think Is the dark he's afraid of the dark No, please don't change to a chair
Starting point is 03:23:22 No, please. Any fucking 20 minute section of this show would be a career killer if I was still running. He starts usually the smartest man in the world in this universe, not so much. He's the guy stripping the floors at the Avengers headquarters. He's still the leader of the Avengers inexplicably though. It doesn't make any sense at all. headquarters. He's still the leader of the Avengers inexplicably though. Hulk! Hulk smash again! By God it keeps working. He's like, we're having a problem. He keeps groping the Scarlett Johansson. That would be a problem. That would be an issue. But no, he's going to be Victor Von. I hope the way they do it is like he's born there and it's a completely different character.
Starting point is 03:24:11 I just like Robert Downey Jr. is an actor. And what I really believe is if they're casting him in this movie, then it'll be a good movie. Like they'll bring in the A team around him as far as everything. Like I don't think lighting matters because these are just green screen most of the time but like what every little tidbit of this I would imagine will be done well and they'll spend a ton of money because they're betting the farm on Robert Downey jr. I bet what do they
Starting point is 03:24:36 pay him do we know here's what I've heard 80 million but the benefits that go around it like the private jets and stuff make it cross nine digits crazy yeah i would have imagined something like that because i remember he did rogan and he was like are you gonna come back could you come back and do tony stark again and he's like you never know you never know i'm open to it and what i heard was money talks yeah i work for a living motherfucker i don't give a shit about none of that make-believe nonsense Check and I'll be there. What I heard I What I really hope that that that symbolizes is not just that Marvel's desperate, but they're they're desperate enough to drop
Starting point is 03:25:18 Trying to make us care about shit. We don't care about it's like stop with the she-hawks Stop with the the Marvel shop all the shit stop with all the shit that's failing, go back to the shit we liked. The Captain Americas, the Iron Mans, the shit like that, the shit that the people actually care about. It's like stop trying to push stuff. Just give us what we want. That's really all we're asking for. I'm paying money to go see it. Yeah. Some corporations and some industries or some companies are so big that they're like, we've got a message to spread whether you like it or not. Oh, what, you're gonna go somewhere else?
Starting point is 03:25:51 Oh, get out of here, we don't want you then. But I don't know if Marvel's there because the movies are, it's not like they're not making a lot of money, but it's seeming- Is Marvel Disney? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. but it feels different
Starting point is 03:26:07 it like they do have a little bit of that air where it's like you're gonna fucking eat what we feed you and have a good time with it but they've also had enough like actual failures where it's like oh every time we green light another one of these projects we like know we're committing to a 50 million dollar loss and after a while that takes a toll on a career. I agree. I've heard that. I think it was the CEO in reaction to the new Star Wars with the lesbian witches or something like that. Acolyte, I believe it's Iger. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:26:36 And he was like, you know, maybe we can back off a little bit of the social justice stuff and make a better show. Yeah, that I don't care. I'm done with the Star Wars stuff, because it's just, yeah. There was a time when I had hope that they were going to resurrect something that, look, I don't think it was ever very good.
Starting point is 03:26:55 I think it had the bones of something really cool, and for its time it was great. But to a modern audience, to me, I remember watching the Clone Wars or whatever. No, the first one, the Phantom Menace when you get Baby Anakin. I watched that in theaters with my lame-ass friend who also wanted to see it. And even then, I was like, this is some kiddy shit. I was probably 12 or 13. There's that section where all the Gundans have this battle against a droid army. Which is like the foot soldiers of the
Starting point is 03:27:25 Galactic Empire and they have like these big weird glowy marbles that they're launching with catapults at them. They're like flicking things at them and like and they win. You're gonna hate to hear about the Indian Wars. So I'm with you Kyle. I had the same problem. So I'm with you, Kyle. I had the same problem. I saw a laser rifle. The middle came out and it's for me.
Starting point is 03:27:52 It was the pod racing scene. They were doing like an Howard Coast cell narration of some sort of yeah, they did. Lots of little jokes like that. And you know, I'm in my mid 20s at this point. And I like, man, this is some kiddie shit. And in my, my conspiracy head was like, this part of the movie was inserted to make a video game
Starting point is 03:28:12 about this movie and toys and shit like that. Good thing they never did a pod racing game. They didn't, not that I know of, but then I looked back and I was like, man, I guess the other Star Trek's also had a lot of young fan service to see. You know, was goofy as fuck. He's the first Jar Jar Binks. Yeah, but he was the first LGBT representation in Star Wars.
Starting point is 03:28:36 That's true. Yeah, it's true. He was. You've seen his outlets where his outlets in his ass? In his belly. I don't know. He's got that little arm that comes out and does cool stuff. He's got like a little torch lighter. That's the best what I'd use work. I say don't fuck me. I've seen the pictures. That's again.
Starting point is 03:29:12 Shut up. Go. And I'm going to just so you guys know, I'm going to take Down Syndrome Iron Man to the drawing board and bring back next week. He's going to be even more fleshed out, more thorough. It's a fun character. If you want some help with Pepper Potts, his girlfriend, that's his main squeeze. Also, his secretary.
Starting point is 03:29:35 Jarvis is normally his, like, AI assistant. TARDIS. Where is it closed? It's ice point, though. I need 42 grilled teeth. Yes, the little bastards make them at night. I know it. It's making it. I know the little bastards make him at night. I know it. Right. It's so funny. It is so funny. Wouldn't it be better if that was the multiverse, Kyle?
Starting point is 03:30:12 No, it wouldn't. I'm actually kind of... I'm going to watch that shit. I like it. I like it. I like superheroes, Taylor. What I don't like is when they do that same origin story over and over. And I don't like nice superheroes.
Starting point is 03:30:23 They should be mentally fucking ill because they're a superhero. They're basically a modern celebrity I like that twist on it where they're like drug addicts and pieces of shit. You like it hero a little bit, right? Oh, absolutely Oh, I prefer I prefer that pieces of shit. They try to do that to Tony Stark and the in the comics I think that was like the original like plot arc is like he's just a millionaire playboy kind of thing So he's like he's just a millionaire playboy kind of thing So he's like you just are a crippling alcoholic Like that was the thing that he kind of struggled with. I think they cleaned it up for Iron Man 2 They're like, let's get some other issue. I mean three is such a shitty movie
Starting point is 03:30:57 I remember watching that in theaters and and being like this is just home alone This is like a goofy goober movie like I'm he's storming a mansion and killing people with gadgets that he made at Home Depot or something. And it plays like Home Alone. It's like goofy as he's killing people. And that was his Tony Stark. It's like a form of what can we buy in a Home Depot?
Starting point is 03:31:19 Ammonium, nitrate and fuel oil. Whoa, whoa, Timothy, calm down. In the first one, like I even when did that first one come out 2008? That's 2001. No, I think it was 2008. I was like, yeah, I was like, yeah, beginning of college, end of high school age 2008. That checks out. Okay, but yeah, I didn't like how the Arab guy in the cave would like go in and see him clearly creating the weapon to escape and it'd be like, how is the progress? Like whatever. And it's like, no, he's like throwing a sheet haphazard like, if you, what he, wait, what
Starting point is 03:32:01 was he supposed to be making? An abomination, not a not a not a nine foot robot. And you're in the cave. And so like you put me on patrol day one. I'm like that that that I see there's firearms. Is that a wrist gauntlet? Yes, the fuck out of here. You really gave him a junkyard wars style stockpile where he's like, I just need an armored shoulder plate for a nine foot robot.
Starting point is 03:32:27 Oh, thank God. I showed him like making it out of sheet metal. He hammered it. I don't remember that much. Checkmate. Well, I remember it well. He was a bit of a blacksmith. Nah, I was dumb in my memory.
Starting point is 03:32:39 Good fucking movie. But it was also a good movie. I think that was the last one. I did like that one. And then the last movie was my crowded reality. There was like that one. And then the grounded reality. There was the Iron Man. The Marvel Universe isn't more grounded reality. No, I like I get it. I get they got to keep upping the ante. But
Starting point is 03:32:55 at the same time, it's like I miss when it was like something that like, okay, this revolves around the military industrial complex. And you know, it's complexities versus like, all right, space aliens that shoot green lasers these times like oh great it's what are you super hero movies and that their powers keep getting ramped up and the bad guys have to keep getting ramped up like spider-man can't just fight burglars for 15 years in a row that gets boring but then spider-man becomes a space traveling crazy suited whatever leader of the avengers and you could still shoot spider-man to death, correct? Yeah. Yeah
Starting point is 03:33:29 I think he's been wearing in the Marvel movies lately. He's been wearing this Tony Stark suit. That's bullshit, but every other iteration Absolutely. I always said we take Peter Parker the fuck out day one All you need is a shotgun like jump around all you want I can see the ski going raise per hour like you're fucked bro like oh did I miss once I love like he helps beat Thanos and then he just like ends up dying in random robbery gone wrong number 12 yeah boss what can we do well we can shoot the spider-man oh he's just wearing you know Well, we can shoot the Spider-Man. Oh, you know that, you know, boss wasn't expecting that to kill him.
Starting point is 03:34:12 You know, Iron Man outfit now, but his spidey sense knows which way the guns pointed and dodges it before you pull the trigger. I don't care. I'm going to shoot twice. Three spiders have horrible sense. I've murdered them. Like they don't. You're right. I've never had a spider. We want to sense the slowest descent of a paper towel above them. They don't sense that.
Starting point is 03:34:31 That would be great if that's how he was finally done. Thanos pinches him to death in a paper towel. Grody. Look out, Spider-Man. He's moving very slowly. Honestly, any of the superheroes that can be shot to death shouldn't even be allowed in the squad. Like, almost all of them can be shot.
Starting point is 03:34:51 Most iron man, if he's got the suit on only. Well, well that's, I mean, that's asking that Hulk cannot be shot to death, correct? Cause that's true. Mortal or actually no. You said if he shoots himself, he's he wakes up and spits the bullet out. And spits the bullet out. But if you were, let's say he's having a great day and a sniper caps him.
Starting point is 03:35:13 Same difference. How would he become angry or like emotionally upset enough? So he tried to kill himself as Bruce Banner, the regular man. Yeah. And he woke up as the Hulk and spit the bullet out like it doesn't matter He just mark. Okay promise you he's magically a more There is a storyline with the Hulk where the entire earth
Starting point is 03:35:34 Lose that has no life left on it except the Hulk. Yeah, he lives a lonely existence Very sad out planet poor guy Plots to go so immortal to the that's in is it as immortal as it gets okay so Thor can Thor cannot be shot to death right now I don't think he's not by a bullet no he'd be all right no mr. strange dr. strange I think you can shoot him go to four years of evil magic thank you very much can he be shot to death I think he can yeah I think you could shoot him. He can go to four years of evil magic. Thank you very much. Can he be shot to death?
Starting point is 03:36:07 I think he can. Yeah, I think he's just a regular dude. But the thing is, he can stop the bullet, though. That's the difference, right? But only if he sees it coming, right? I don't know if he wrecks his Lamborghini. You can fuck him up. I just shoot twice.
Starting point is 03:36:20 Well, no, like you have to get the Spider-Man. All Spider-Man can do is jump again, right? At some point, he's moving through air But meanwhile the other man I'll cover the other guy makes portals though with his with like silly hand gesture I'll who else cannot be shot to death in there's a bunch There's a I mean vision before they killed him. There's that metal guy from X-Men. Oh Colossus he doesn't seem like he could be shot to death. No, he's all metal. Or if you're going there, Deadpool and Wolverine
Starting point is 03:36:50 can't be shot to death. Yeah, they're all like super immortal. You could decapitate Wolverine or Deadpool. No, they just grow back. Then you get two Wolverines. You got to split them down the middle to get two. Really? I don't fucking know. It's made up. I have so much trust in your knowledge of this world. I mean it checks out though, right? If you bisected Deadpool, you'd get to. Yeah, that checks out. That's not what happens. What would happen? God damn you, Woody. Yeah, I mean there's been things where they like, totally smoked them. And one of the red blood cells grew back and became them again. So by that, I hear you, but if your theory was true,
Starting point is 03:37:31 then the splattered version of him would raise an entire army of dead. So there's a limit of one. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Only one can be resurrected. What I'm saying is if you make it equal, like which, and you separate the sides, which one starts to heal?
Starting point is 03:37:47 I hear, I know in Deadpool 2, they ripped him apart at the waist, which I recognize is not what you're saying, but the top half re-grew and the bottom half, I guess just, I don't know. I think if we split him right down the middle, we get two Deadpools. There's no doubt in my mind.
Starting point is 03:38:01 You gotta get him right perfectly down the middle. Now does Deadpool have super strength or any of that? Yeah, he's like an acrobatic and if you put him in a legit prison cell Could he get out with his powers or if he just buried him in concrete? Yeah, you can bury him in concrete that would work. But like I think he did Punch the wall. Okay, so he's strong. He's strong enough to break like concrete walls and stuff? I don't think so. He would probably remember his stripper girlfriend or something and like break out.
Starting point is 03:38:30 Yeah, he probably staged a thing, you know, some sort of revolt. He'd need to get out some other way. I don't think he'd bend the bars or break out of a jail cell though. I don't think. The Wolverine who is superhuman strength. Deadpool. Yeah, but like, so does Captain America. He can't beat up a wall either. Who has superhuman strength? Deadpool Yeah So does Captain America he can't be up a wall either that could be Thor Bjornsson or it could be the Hulk, right?
Starting point is 03:38:51 I don't think spider-man can like beat his way out of a jail cell jail cell Wolverine could The the metal yeah, he's got the adamantium Yeah, Wolverine just seems better than Deadpool in every single way. Deadpool's got a fucking sword dude and he's funny. Deadpool kills Wolverine. Fucking Wolverine has swords in his hand though and his bones are made of metal that can't be cut by Deadpool's sword, right? Well, I think Deadpool can get a special sword.
Starting point is 03:39:18 I think it's like a there's some kind of fancy sword in the universe that he can use to kill him. So it's even better than Wolverine metal? It like cancels out Wolverine metal. Okay. Well, if it's a wash, then who has the better healing? Wolverine. I don't think it matters. I think it's like the same. It feels like the same to me.
Starting point is 03:39:35 Like it feels like both of them can turn into a blood cell, like what he said, and they just come back from nothing. So what is that? Like, what is the benefit that Deadpool has over Wolverine? Because it seems like Wolverine's better in every way. Well, he's more of a powerful, I should say. He can make more money in the box office. He's a bigger draw. OK, fair.
Starting point is 03:39:55 I wonder if that picture of Hugh Jackman was real, where he's like ripped out of his fucking mind for this role or if that was told that they CGI'd a lot of his arms and different shots and whatnot. When you watch the movie, you'll see certain parts where like it's non-spoiler, but like certain elements they do like close-up body shots and it looks like the whole thing's done the same like follow the camera motion CGI they did in the first Dead Bull. Hugh Jackman is 55. Yeah, that don't mean anything. He just needs some drugs.
Starting point is 03:40:21 I thought I saw a photo of him today. They were making it seem like it was from the most recent movie because he had the yellow suit on where he was like Ripped out of his mind. Oh, he's still I'm like I saw the same article I think it was like he was eating 6,000 calories a day whole shit Well, no, it was it was actually showing him in 2000 as an X-Men first class or whatever that whatever that movie was where he was The first time he played Wolverine. He's chubby as Wolverine like genuinely like he's he's like the he is completely out of shape no muscle definition please try to find exact Wolverine out of shape in the first x-men movie and then it's like contrasting that with him now or him at his rip as most ripped where he looks like juiced out of his
Starting point is 03:41:00 mind science experiment big with like muscle. He grew new kinds of muscles. Which is crazy. Cause he's like 30 versus 55. The magic of fucking androgenic steroids. Fuck yeah. Oh, there you go. Look at this. Oh, so that's not the current.
Starting point is 03:41:20 That's not the current one. That's a few years ago, yeah. He's looking like you on the right, Kyle. It looks ridiculous. Photo time. That's not that's a few years ago. Yeah, it's looking like you on the right Kyle. You're ridiculous photo time He's got a I've seen him bigger than this like like yeah, this isn't his most jacked version Did you ever see Logan when he was like the older version of him? It's his last so Like it's not only it's a spoiler. He died in the in the last movie So you'll like what they do with that in the new movie
Starting point is 03:41:46 It's it's a lot of fun how they play it because a lot of people are like you're basically digging up the corpse of wolverine And blah blah blah like how dare you do this? You'll like what they do. Yeah, i'm looking forward to it I gotta watch it soon. Who was the scientist who? Did all this to wolverine? Do we know who that is? Yeah. Yeah, so that Uh, I think it might be reich. He was it was in Canada with like there there was this Canadian like top secret group of mutants they were using for spec ops and stuff and they would just erase Wolverine's memory anytime they needed to and like set him back to zero. But part of the process eventually was putting the adamantium on his skin.
Starting point is 03:42:25 The only on his bones. The only reason he's not dead is because of his healing factor, because they didn't put adamantium on his bones with magic. They melted it and injected it into his body. So his only like, excuse me, his only innate superpower is the healing factor. Yeah. And he's also just which is better than Deadpool's healing factor. If you say so, I don't really care. Oh, I thought you said that. I couldn't give a shit less. Not at all. I like the cartoons though. They should find that scientist and give him even
Starting point is 03:42:56 more weapons that can pop out of his body. Wolverine. Yeah. Like a hedgehog, like just Wolverine. Yeah, like a hedgehog. Like just firing stuff out any time. Pufferfish. That could be a superhero name. You just like have you ever seen those bear catching outfits from Russia and like the seven? Yes. Hundreds like something like that, where it's like I'm about to get in a fight. Fucking do you think that would be effective against a bear?
Starting point is 03:43:21 It could. It's better than like what I'm wearing. I am. I get hit. I get hit by car man. Yeah, I've seen get hit by car man and bear man where he wears a medieval one. It's wild. And he tested his suit to the limits and it's just his friend with a sledgehammer at the top of a hill. I hitting him in the head. What is this bear thing? I want to see it.
Starting point is 03:43:42 I think it's just like how to survive modern-day UK armor So there's two we're talking about two different things one is the medieval bear suit That's crazy that he looks like a human porcupine with metal spines all over him The other thing is that guy a few years ago I say a few 20 years ago or 30 years ago who made a bear suit and is He has a video of him testing it with his buddies They like run him over with a Honda and like like holy shit hit him with hammers and shit pushing down hills Yeah, I just saw the fucking hell razor-ash. Yes
Starting point is 03:44:11 Yeah You show that pull it up. So like this does seem like that, you know, why they put those spiked collars on herding dogs, right sexy BDSM it's cuz it's hot and also because Wolves can't attack the neck of a her hurting dog if there's a spiked collar on it. That's not it. That's not the one you were thinking of? This isn't the one you're thinking of? Oh, fine. I know I'm teasing you about your dog facts because it's funny to miss the point. This suit however, this suit looks diabolical. I feel like a bear would leave you the fuck alone frankly. Yeah. I feel like a bear would leave you the fuck alone, frankly. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:44:47 I feel like his only vulnerable point is his dick. Oh, and his hands. Oh, it looks like that button's up. Curling up in a ball, baby. The guy's gonna lose his dick in his hands. You're going like this, and you're just a spiked ball that you hope he doesn't want that bad. Oh, you're gonna curl up in a ball?
Starting point is 03:45:01 I'm going offense, pure offense with this suit on. I have no fear now. I'm gonna do it like, I'm gonna just run my shoulder right into the bear. I'm gonna stick my up in a ball. I'm going offense pure offense with this suit on I have no fear now I'm gonna do it like I'm gonna just run my shoulder right into the bear I'm gonna stick my head in his mouth have some big boy. Oh didn't like that. Did you? Yeah, it is Siberian and so those are a lot of like rusty nails you're not fighting like an Appalachian Black bear or some shit like that. This is a bigger. They Bigger they are, the bigger they are. I bring it on. I want to growler bear. I want some sort of hybrid and give it some cocaine.
Starting point is 03:45:30 I want it to be ready to rumble. But I watched that movie this week and it was actually pretty fucking good. Cocaine bear. You told it. I liked that movie. I wanted to tell everybody tonight, go watch cocaine bear. Go watch cocaine bear.
Starting point is 03:45:41 It's a fun movie. I would rather have this Siberian bear hunting armor than like a traditional plate mail armor against a bear, right? It looks like this is pretty lightweight. And it's enough that like I feel like if an animal is about to bite you on the arm or something and it gets a tactile like painful spike, right? It's quickly going to be like, oh, this is not for me. And then even with his paws, right? He'll be pointing in bed. Yeah. Let's put some taste bad on like an actual porcupine, which is a bitch outside of its spines.
Starting point is 03:46:14 That's enough to deter big bears because the porcupine just keeps angling itself towards the bear. And if the bear lunges in, you've seen the pictures where the bears's fucking impaled and is like, I'm out of here. This thing is half of me. Cover it all in capsaicin so that way it's a little bear mace on the spikes. That's so much better than my idea of wearing that costume and having like cabbage and beans. Oh, you wanted to have sides. No, Brandon's idea is much better. You rub spice all over you.
Starting point is 03:46:46 Yeah, that's just like, I hope it's not a vegetarian bear. Just kind of fucking go with it. You could just like impale like their omnivores. Oh no, I should have researched this. Now I'm being torn apart. I love the beans.
Starting point is 03:46:59 I love the it was a gassy thing. Kyle, the cabbage and beans. Yeah, after this guy about five hours after this guy, it's me. You're rubbing yourself with raw cabbages and cans of beans to drive bears away. No, I'm going on offense with this question. That makes way more sense. That's the Irish approach, and it's not as effective as the Russian. 900 years from now, they'll invent Google, and I could have avoided this whole thing.
Starting point is 03:47:21 I'm just not afraid of the bears, if I'm being honest. I feel like if you're on foot and you're unarmed, I'm not afraid to duel the bears if I'm being honest. I feel like if you're if you're on foot and you're afraid of them I'm not afraid to do the bear. I guess is what I'm saying Taylor. I feel like we other They can't hold a saber We can't figure out the safety Kyle are you ready big Joe? Are you ready? Big Joe, are you ready? Oh, no. Oh. He's in a cage.
Starting point is 03:47:47 He's in a cage with a shotgun thrown at him. Well, sir, you've insulted my honor, Big Joe. I heard tell what you said. Oh. Yeah, that initiates the duel under Kentucky law. And duel, not a bear poaching. Well, only one thing for it. I'd want to dominate the bear so bad that I didn't even kill it.
Starting point is 03:48:11 I like captured it, made it submissive, nailed its feet to the pedals of a tricycle and now he's making me money. You're going to make him a circus bear. Now he's a circus bear and now who's laughing? Me, as his feet get infected from my cruel treatment. That bad guy gangrene. You gonna have to duel him. I'm not gonna duel him. No, I genuinely think I could defeat a bear if I had like the most rudimentary of medieval weaponry though. I really do. I just don't think the bear has much. No armor. See that's too much. Like I need more than that. One sword, some armor. Like a good flail.
Starting point is 03:48:53 I'm afraid the flail will get taken away from me. He's gonna wave his arms in a way that a person would it and it'll like get hooked up on his arm and then his bear strength will pull it out. I really want one of those big polearm type things that has like a pokey thing, but then it has like a stop so that I can't like over penetrate that I got. I got like 18 inches of penetration and then it gets taken away from me. Yet maybe like, I don't know what the point needs to be, but like I want like a cross post, like a foot and a half, two feet down on the post. You want like a giant hike.
Starting point is 03:49:22 Maybe that seems a little cheaty, but I feel like even if it was a spear and a sword or, excuse me, a spear and a shield, I think I could defeat the bear. I really do. I don't think it depends how angry the bear is and how much, frankly, how much practice you've had with the spear. I'm going to. Oh, well, I was probably out cheating on me, guys. guys. Oh, I have studied. You couldn't take a bear with a bike. Remember the Unsullied from Game of Thrones? That little low stance they get over the spear with that little notch in it? Yeah.
Starting point is 03:49:51 I watched that season twice. Okay. And I picked up a bear. How many bears did they kill? Oh, they'd have slain a cave of bears, a whole dens worth it, if they needed. I'm sure they were feasting upon bear every night. They just took so little note of it that it wasn't a storyline. I'm sure I felt so bad for all those unsullied that because the penis and because the penis
Starting point is 03:50:14 in the ball situation. Yeah, I think they had their penises because that would just be like an inconvenience insult to injury. Yeah, you don't need that. I mean, like they need them to pee standing up on the go on the march. And so like, but they also apparently wanted the weakest most hairless effeminate warrior class of like, like, historically, the unit class are like a useful class of bureaucrats for kings and queens. Like, that's what they are. They just call it the unit classes. Unic class is not a class of warriors.
Starting point is 03:50:46 What if they just cut the head off? Why would they do that? Let's just I hate that. Well, they definitely took you imagine if something similar to that was like commonplace in America and didn't realize how grotesque and evil it was. Couldn't imagine. Couldn't imagine that. Couldn't imagine apologists for that.
Starting point is 03:51:04 Take a step back sir Good look in the mirror What you say coming up that I'm excited about beautiful penis that's what you see cuz you cut it Is your mother spoke up and she said yes, I do No, I want those nerve endings bitch. I want the better come. Oh, you want to come, Quister? Quicker, you don't want to be able to please a woman. Oh, you bust so much faster now, bro. You don't know what you're missing You know what? What you're missing out
Starting point is 03:51:37 They got a they bring a water bottle into the bathroom with them cuz they gotta clean their filthy cocks They need like a spritz down to clean that that fucking. Imagine, imagine believing. I know you don't actually, but imagine that there are people out there who are like, it's a health benefit. Elective cosmetic surgery for infants is a health benefit. It's like, really? Are you retarded? It is less STDs. We took a tribe from Somalia and compared it to circumcised Jews in Massachusetts, and one group had more STDs. It's like, really? You think that's the impetus of less STDs? That's not a straw, man. That's a straw house, and I'm going to knock it down right now. Okay? You're full of shit. Someone hasn't actually looked at those studies, have they?
Starting point is 03:52:21 If only the most ancient cultures which carried science into the modern times weren't both heavily into circumcision. It's weird that the only thing the Jews and the Arabs can agree on is circumcising penises makes for a healthier populace. Weird isn't it? One of them even wrote a story where it was their promise to God that they would do it. They swore to God they would do it forever more. And you know what? I'm an American, Taylor. Rock, flag, eagle. You know what? I keep my
Starting point is 03:52:51 promises. And so did my mama. No, I don't know. You don't have to mutilate children's generals for fucking Abraham. And I'm proud to be in America. No, I'm free., but you know, what do you what what fight are you excited for no, no, don't you try and get them I'm getting good Zach show this Kyle, you know Gabby Garcia. Do you know about Gabby Garcia? She's fighting Craig Jones. She has a hundred pound advantage Dude this is gonna be awesome. I pound advantage, but he's this dude. This is going to be awesome. I expected anybody to take this. I got the dude.
Starting point is 03:53:27 I got the dude. If anybody wants to take, he's going to smoke her like a fucking Turkey. It ain't even going to be close. Like she's clearly got some sort of a thyroid or imbalance or something that's making her a Goliath or something of that. And, and lots of steroids homeboy over there It's what I like to call a professional athlete. It's gonna whoop her ass I know nothing about this woman. Is this a perf is this a biological female? Oh, yeah. Yeah
Starting point is 03:53:55 She's she used to be smoking hot, but she takes a tremendous amount of steroids and she's a professional fighter What have you seen pictures of her from like 20 years ago? She's 30 in this look at the mitts on that bitch. So I guess not when she's 10, but I don't think she's really 30 I don't know, but if you see old pictures of her she's smoking Yeah, what he's version of smoking. She's she's out there. Oh, dude. You're better than that Let me see looks better than that. She looks like a bridge troll right there She does like she looks like she's in the Special Olympics and she's about to throw a hammer or something. Yeah, she used to look better um much more feminine
Starting point is 03:54:31 Yeah, and if this is the much more feminine version I think it got better than this honestly this and this you know, this isn't a great photo But yeah, but no I take the dude every time like this for example show this one zane Again, you know, low body fat. She's probably only because of the half or something. If it wasn't for the half smirk, that would still be pretty. But she's looking yeah.
Starting point is 03:54:55 Alright, smart again. Mark, why did she do this to herself? She was right. She was cute. She is a pretty face there. I recognize that some guys might not like the abs of the big arms She wanted to push plates motherfucker. She's not a pussy. Yeah, this is a this is an athletic woman who's hot in my mind and What she is now is something different. Yeah, she's got me and her tall head. I can't believe
Starting point is 03:55:18 Looking like she's from the actor from Princess Bride is it MMA? Andre the giant Andre the giant under the giant she looks like Andre the giant Is it MMA? Andre the Giant? Andre the Giant. Andre the Giant, she looks like Andre the Giant. Is it mixed martial arts or boxing? Grappling. Oh. But he's an ADCC champion or silver medalist or something?
Starting point is 03:55:37 Like he's skilled. Well, if he had to. Wait a minute, did she have, did you say she has 100 pounds? Yes, 285 versus 180, she has 100 pounds? Yes. Two eighty five versus 180. She has one hundred and five pounds. Hmm. OK, I had to do like he no, Guy. Like I feel like it kind of matters now. Like, oh, I don't think so. I think he smokes her.
Starting point is 03:55:54 If you guys are all thinking girl, I'm going to pick him. Boy. I'm going to pick girl. I feel like that might be just a bad photo of the guy. Well, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's a bad compare, but I'm just I'm 100 pounds. What was the comparison again? Sorry, Zach. Was it six? How about his head reaches like her shoulder?
Starting point is 03:56:11 So she's like a head taller. Yeah. All right. And it's no punching allowed. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, then it doesn't really, I was going to win.
Starting point is 03:56:21 It's grappling. Yeah. That's why I'm wondering, like, is it, is it no, is it some sort of, or can we do Palm strikes? Like, what are we doing here? Like, like, like, I just want to know she's six, six, 37 to five, six. I'm going to go with him. Like, like, it just seems like the dude always smokes the girl online. It says she's six too. Yeah. I don't know what this bullshit is. I know that ultimate fighter t-shirt like that she's wearing from the competition of the ultimate fighter.
Starting point is 03:56:49 This is not two people standing next to each other. Okay, it looks like based on online, which I trust about as much as this infographic, Craig Jones is six feet tall and Gabrielle Garcia is six foot two. So if that's the reality and it's not five six for six. What kind of propaganda is this? Craig Jones is going to demolish her.
Starting point is 03:57:09 See the thing is I saw a video of the two of them together. One they were standing next to each other. Now she could be on something, but the other they were sitting at a table and she did look that much bigger. When do they do this grappling? This month. Okay, I'm curious, but I think the dude's always
Starting point is 03:57:27 gonna beat the girl. When you got it, I like the freak fights where they have two girls or three girls versus a guy. Cause then it's like, holy shit, maybe they work as a team. They can take this guy down, but usually they don't. I loved my, I always get which strong man it was wrong. Might've Brian Shaw or whichever one one the strongman fighting the two like Lightweights the two 100 135 pound dudes. That was a cool fucking fight
Starting point is 03:57:52 Did she just beat him in arm wrestling? This looks more like a photo op but What is wrong? It's got her head. They look the same height there Yeah, if this is the height like yeah real height, then she has no shot whatsoever. Yeah, the Instagram. Well, wait a minute, I think I can link it. Yes, she's how big her fucking head is. Damn, that's a big girl. I think she'd fuck up any one of us.
Starting point is 03:58:22 Oh, I would not. I'm not a professional fighter. Yeah, I wouldn't challenge her. Okay. Okay. Tough guy. Taylor says he can take her. So true.
Starting point is 03:58:33 You should call her out, Taylor. Yeah. If I was a fighter, how much would you want to fight Gabby Garcia here and Mixed Martial Arts, Taylor? $80. Really? Really? How much would you want to fight Gabby Garcia here and mix martial arts, Taylor? Eighty dollars. We're going to really, really. Let's get on this, boys. Let's look.
Starting point is 03:58:50 Two hundred dollar best buy gift. I would hate to have to. I want a hundred and fifty dollar door dash gift card. I was like a meal for this bitch. Yeah, that's a terrifying woman. It is. Look at the size of her big Neanderthal noggin. Like that doesn't happen to a woman. Oh, yeah. That's a lot of HGV.
Starting point is 03:59:10 You know what he looks like? He looks like Charlie and it's always sunny. Like us. He looks like he's about to take out his rat stick and beat the shit out of him. Also, was that a 40 on the table? It was. Yeah. Oh, which one was drinking the 40? Because that shows confidence. I doubt it was her. She's correct. All right. Well then, she probably can't drink alcohol because she has a
Starting point is 03:59:30 horse amount of injections going into her every day. I know on the next PFL card, not the next one probably, but there's a big PFL card coming up where you got Nganu finally doing mixed martial arts and PFL. And on the same card, you've got Chris cyborg, she's gonna beat up some lady. That's always fun to watch And then is yet. How old is she? Uh, I think she's been smashing bitches in PFL, you know She obviously got KO by Amanda Nunez on the way out of her you have UFC contract that there be nine I can't remember the name of the fighter I think he's an Arab guy Makayev or something like that, but he didn't fight a good fight he was at the end of his contract and
Starting point is 04:00:09 They asked Dana white like what are we gonna do with this guy? He's like, you know, I think PFL is gonna get an unbeaten fighter It's good for them. Oh, they get an unbeaten guy good for PFL and like really? Yeah, really and then PFL tweets like actually We heard this guy's piece of shit. We don't not interested. Which guy? I think it's Makaev, M-O-K-A-E-V, but I could be wrong. It's bald headed young guy. I think he's Arab. He's got a little bit of facial hair. He then makes a video where he is apologizing for like being a piece of shit. He's like,
Starting point is 04:00:45 I'm very sorry to anyone I have ever upset. Dana White is a great man. He's a great man, a visionary. He's like, this is so much ass. At the end, he goes, I will fight for free. UFC, one more fight, please. I will fight for free. Wow. And it was like, damn, how good a fighter is he? Ah, he's unbeaten. I don't know what his record is. I think he's 0 and 4, 0 and 6, something like that. But I guess he's difficult to work with. I don't know the whole scoop.
Starting point is 04:01:12 I just thought the last part of the story was funny that it is that because PFL, like a meat is like, no, we don't want to fuck him. It was almost like Dana called over and he's like, you don't want him. You don't even know he's this, that and the other. Oh, OK. Hey, would you tweet it? What? Yeah, be was almost like Dana called over and he's like you don't want him. You don't even know he's this that and the other Like, oh, okay. Hey, would you tweet it? What? Yeah be super petty like would you? You don't want him in your in your shit. It'll hurt his feelings I want to watch and then he pulls up his Twitter Dana White's waiting refreshing refreshing refreshing Yeah, fuck you like that had to be that's scary as hell to him
Starting point is 04:01:44 He he's in the UFC's at the top of the food chain And he was probably thinking that he had that backup gig at PFL and then like clearly not there There's a bunch of good fights coming up. The big one is comes out is taking on Your boy Robert Whitaker. Like you said Robert with steps up and takes fights. He called out coms odd. He wants the tough fight I hate comes out to my of with a with a fiery passion I despise him the betting odds right now would he not on who will win? It's on whether Chum I have will show and right now odds are he doesn't make the fight Wow, that's how unreliable he's been as a fight was the mr. Reliable. That's how he started
Starting point is 04:02:22 That was I showed up twice in a row that hair let piece of shit. Fuck him More than I hope he shows up a Whittaker smashes the fuck out of me, too. Is Connor still fighting? Oh Man, that's a funny story. So Connor has been betrothed to fight Michael Chandler for like three years almost now and Chandler has been waiting in the wings not fighting at the end of his own career waiting on the big dance because it's you know, it's 10 times the pay or something like that if he's getting pay-per-view points. And Connor has just pushed it and pushed it and pushed it and then they were supposed to fight earlier this year and Connor broke his toe or something like that. Right. Yeah. Connor broke his toe and like the thing was
Starting point is 04:03:00 supposedly pushed till maybe a December card or an October card, but it's weird because these things are already set up. And then, um, Chandler tweeted guys, I guess I gotta finally admit it. It's not happening. Seriously. Yeah. And then Connor replies, Oh yeah. Sounds good to me. Hey, Tony Ferguson, you want to find out who the real BMF is? And it's like, Ooh, poor Chandler. He didn't think he'd do that. He thought it'd be like, it's not over yet. I'm coming for you. And like hype the fight, I'm sure.
Starting point is 04:03:30 The last I saw Conor Sturgis, the big motorcycle rally, I think they had a fight promotion there. And he was there. So gay. Dude, it wasn't a good look. He's wearing black pants, no shirt, and he's got like a leather vest on and he went full shaved head, full shaved face. And he's like vibing out clearly on at least a lot of alcohol. And there's this
Starting point is 04:03:53 short little girl who's like not a little girl. There's like a dirty whore who's like five foot nothing. And she's like looking at him. And this is from like off from an angle. Somebody's like filming them. This. Oh, this is so I did see this. Oh, it's so good. Oh, it's a little cringy. He's she's just like, hey, there she's like shaking that ass, shaking that ass. And he kind of goes, all right, I'm going to just look off to my left. And I didn't think I thought that was big, dude. But they deep faked a little fell in there.
Starting point is 04:04:24 I thought it was a random guy like that looked like it's kind of a Gregor. Oh, Connor. Tim. Yeah. So I guess the answer is no. Man, I don't know if he's going to fight again. I think the odds are he won't. He seems to want to. And there seem to have been legitimate obstacles in his way, whether it was the UFC really wanting to
Starting point is 04:04:45 Like get their money's worth out of the remainder of his contract I think he that he wants to get this contract done so they can go into the world of boxing or boxing Promotion be his own Mayweather type thing where he gets a hundred million dollars to fight Whoever Jake Paul shit if he promoted his own thing He did a co-promotion with Jake Paul and he fought Jake Paul I bet he'd make a whole lot of fucking money more than he's ever made in the UFC. So I'm sure he wants to go on and do that, but he sure is dragging his feet. So to speak, it's not getting done.
Starting point is 04:05:14 I don't think he's a fighter anymore. He just wants to cosplay. It was one or be known as one or build his brand by staying relevant with tweets, but or fight in roadhouse as a nice cool, I think would he's take is the best. He's trying to remain relevant and use that to push his business ventures. I mean, mixed martial arts might be the least pleasant sport to compete in. So once you start, once you can make Connor money,
Starting point is 04:05:42 it must be hard to drive. True. Yeah. They's gymnastics. True. Yeah, they had that pedophile. He was touching them all. That's all I forgot about that guy. Yeah. Yeah, I heard he gets targeted in prison so much that it's a real problem.
Starting point is 04:05:59 I showed a picture of his little squirrely guy with glasses and they're like Seymour is targeted constantly in prison. What's that like? I can just imagine the guys up there being like, hey, do you see him? Yeah, but perhaps myself, he'd be coming out of med time tomorrow at three. All right. I got a whole bowl of shit water for him. And it's like every guy who molested a baffling amount of girls. No, isn't that correct? There was something like fucking 70 or something.
Starting point is 04:06:30 Did you see the UFC antitrust stuff at all? Did you follow that? I couldn't tell who was going to win. It seemed to be going back and forth. So I was just waiting for it to resolve. At a high level, the two sides agreed to the UFC paying out 355 million to the fighters. Woo!
Starting point is 04:06:47 Really? That's the start of it. Because when the judge saw the results of arbitration, he threw it out. He said, this is so fucking low. You're taking advantage of these stupid fighters. They want more. Come back with a real number.
Starting point is 04:07:01 Yeah, and they're predicting it's closer to a billion. Well, that's fucked up. That judge went to high school with Dana White. I think you have it backwards because the fighters are the ones who are going to get all that money, unless you're telling me something I don't know. Yeah, what I'm saying is like they went to high school with Dana White. Maybe he's got some personal, uh, I see. I didn't know that he's got a mean and person and hurtful grudge against Dana White in the UFC. Did you make that up or is that a thing? This is kind of like the wheel of cheese.
Starting point is 04:07:30 You know, like I absorb things over throughout the week and I've refused a fact check. And I just, and that's kind of what I do on Thursday nights here with you guys. I fact check some of the stuff I went through the wig. I know you guys get to Googling right away. It's the Charlie Day I went through the wig. I know you guys get to googling right away. It's the Wild card bitches Did they know why go to school with the judge in the antitrust suit? I'm pretty sure he did I just checked did he
Starting point is 04:07:59 So it's interesting I wonder how that impacts the ufc if at all right is a billion dollars a lot to them or not no No, no, no That's what they make a year. I think it that impacts the UFC. If it all right, is a billion dollars a lot to them or not? No, no, no, no. I think that's what they make a year. I think it's like a year's income. That's that's impact. Yeah, we'll stretch. I'm getting to the point now where it feels personal. You know, I went to high school with this judge, me and Lorenzo, we went to high school with him. I don't know what me and Lorenzo did to him in high school. But this seems
Starting point is 04:08:23 very, very personal. Dana white on the antitrust judge Nailed it wheels of cheese You're on a roll I tried no idea I News right here almost nailed it to on the the UFC netted an annual revenue total of 1.3 billion Not bad. They're making more every year. It's a well-run business Uh, UFC netted an annual revenue total of 1.3 billion. Hmm. Not bad. They're making more every year. It's a well-run business.
Starting point is 04:08:47 They don't have to pay only 1 billion in profits because they have to pay the fighters probably. I bet the profits are crazy high lately. Like I, I bet their operating costs are. That's a, that was net 1.3 billion net. Oh my God. Oh, that was an S. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 04:09:04 Wow. Oh, I thought that was sales. Oh my god. fight. Yeah, I want to leave one of those uh Mandingo fights and grab that hammer boy. grab it up and I don't want other leagues. Some people are like, oh, it sucks that there's only the UFC. There's nowhere else they can go and really get paid and I'm like really do you want it back in the old days when you had Chuck Liddell's the best over here and want Vandale Silver is the best over there and you don't know how they do against each other
Starting point is 04:09:46 Were the best fighters the most interesting fighters don't fight each other because they're in different leagues Didn't I want to know how to use or fight each other a lot say it again didn't didn't Chuck and Silva fight each other a lot No, did they they not they might have fought like like the ghost of them I think might have fought like the ghost of them, I think might have fought in the UFC years later. But they didn't fucking hates it. They didn't fight in their primes. Chuck did go over to pride and fight in his prime. But I don't know if he ever got to bond early silver. He lost to random. I'm thinking there. I'm thinking about Tito Ortiz. Ah, yeah, they thought I was totally making they were both in the OC
Starting point is 04:10:26 Yeah, yeah, I'm worried the UFC is gonna become like like Disney where there's just so many Brown people that I'm not a fan anymore I'm worried that that could be and those those Russian Muslims are gonna are gonna all become champions of the world and every fucking weight Class and it's and that's all there's going to are going to all become champions of the world and every fucking weight class. And that's all there's going to be. There's always another night of that off. Not a lot of mega mud off screwing off a tree over there. It's crazy.
Starting point is 04:10:54 Kyle, what if Putin locks him up? He can't compete if they're all locked up. They're all they're they're in fucking like like oil. Now they all found out. I thought Putin locked some of them up. It's the only thing you got the terrorist. He got the ones who were actually making bombs. It was like one terrorist who trained at his gym
Starting point is 04:11:12 like one time it wasn't part of the team or anything. It wasn't like he was a regular there that he visited his gym. And now they're like trying to act like a part of it. I'm like a beep. That's what they're calling him. Woody's explanation makes sense.
Starting point is 04:11:29 Yeah, that's why he's staying for the troops or the flag. Yeah. I'm not saying it, but the comments certainly are. Yeah. I'm not saying it, but the sub-medicine is. I'd never say it. But yeah, Kyle, it's crazy to me. There hasn't been an antidote invented for that style of fighting.
Starting point is 04:11:49 These guys who are grapplers, who just Gretchen by the ankles and like an Anaconda work their way up and. You know what it is, though, there is. And guys that try to come with purely that get knocked the fuck out of the Etonese. It's when they they they clearly are working to be relentless with it. And the fact that every at the end of every round you get a whole nother fight It's three fights and if you don't knock that guy out and get him out of there He gets three chances to drag your ass to the floor the ones that don't have hands though They can't make him respect that take down get knocked the fuck out though
Starting point is 04:12:20 Like if you look at Khabib and you look at Islam, I got Really good fucking hands. Like top tier, like not as good, I don't think as good as Conor or like the best boxers or the Holloway's, but good fucking hands. He got boxed Fourier and then choked him the fuck unconscious. So Kyle, as a fight fan, like a super in-depth fight fan, somebody who's gone through like a fitness transformation, do you have any interest in doing one of these YouTube fights? I got offered a bare knuckle boxing match against Diego, the Nightmare Sanchez a couple years ago.
Starting point is 04:12:52 Bare knuckle is a little fucking different, to be honest. No, I don't want to fight anybody, dude. I don't want I really don't. I don't have any training in it, really. I don't have any aptitude for it. I do not need to be. I would just get beat up like it would go poorly. I could look good. I would show up and they'd be like,
Starting point is 04:13:08 I don't know, man. I'm not no Kyle. That's half the battle to be. No, yeah, really not. But the people look like he's never been in a fight before, not since high school. But look at him. What you should do is the same thing you did with your fitness thing is tell nobody about it and train for a year
Starting point is 04:13:25 Years before you try to fucking you know, even just fight it. Well, like i've never done a fight before so we'll see That's if I had I've thought of this before actually but I was like man if eight years ago five years ago I had I had been like, you know what? I'm gonna box someone in 2024 then it could come out of nowhere Would you ever see somebody hit the the speed back and there's like Magically good at it like like if I just broke out some random skills like that right before the fight after the other guys already Saw it signed the contract. I'm doing the ollie shuffle Like that would be hilarious to scare somebody into quitting hopefully because I don't want to fight anybody You have to pay me so much goddamn money.
Starting point is 04:14:05 I didn't want to know how much they were offering me with the Diego Sanchez thing, but it seemed like hundreds of thousands of dollars. And I was like, no. The zone paid me 10 grand. Why'd you do it? I told them, honestly, for fun. I like it was six weeks of, you know, complete sobriety.
Starting point is 04:14:21 Like my meal plan locked in, working out every fucking day, training almost every fucking day Like that that was why I did it was like as a personal challenge like knowing that at the end of the six weeks I'm gonna have to get on tv take my shirt off and beat the shit out of another person As a strategy to make sure I wouldn't have to fight diego the nightmare sanchez. I started talking shit right away Like I was gonna make it so bad that there's no way I could say yes I think I was calling him gay. I was saying is uh him and it I was like make it so bad that there's no way I could say yes. I think I was calling him gay I was saying is I was like hit you and your fucking
Starting point is 04:14:48 Pseudo like boyfriend slash coach. He's chasing you around with knives I hear he chases you around with dildos at night your your country fair So that was true wasn't it was true But like 90% of what is like cheese again, like most of that was cheesy through Okay He was chasing around with knives in the ring, like real knives. And there was a very gay thing. Even he now admits that that guy was a con artist, like scamming him,
Starting point is 04:15:12 running his life, controlling him, like mentally abusing him, etc. Like he admits to all that now. He's the reason he got thrown out of the UFC. But yeah, there's a reason they call him Diego the Nightmare Sanchez. You don't want to fight him as a normal mortal man. Yeah. I love Diego when he was like on the ultimate fighter, just breaking into the UFC. I like, I was a fan when he had the crucifix.
Starting point is 04:15:34 He's like day one. Yeah. When he was Stephen Bonner and him arguing about asparagus and him doing like good vibes, cartwheels, he would just go in the backyard and do cartwheels and yell yes as part of his training like to fix the mood in the air he's a little I saw him hanging upside down and the and the and the fab Fabian guy was like slapping his face and and I think he was like supposed to anticipate it blindfolded or something it was like kooky karate kid Kid Mr. Miyagi. You saw too many ninja movies type shit like a faith healer kind of like this. This is when Crazy Diego won me as a fan.
Starting point is 04:16:13 So in the first season of The Ultimate Fighter, you didn't get matched up by like coaches or something. The fighters called each other out and everyone was picking Diego. They wanted to fight him. And the reason wasn't that he was a weak fighter. It was that he was a grappler and it wasn't as dangerous. You know, if one guy is gonna punch me in the face and the other guy is gonna choke me, well, I'm gonna go with the choke guy. It's less dangerous and you know, win or lose. Either way I come out.
Starting point is 04:16:39 Either way you come. So yeah, yeah. So anyway, first dude, Diego beats him. Next dude, Diego beats him. Another dude calls out Diego when he's like, I gotta put a stop to this. And he pounded the fuck out of the next guy, just punished him and sent a message, stop picking me.
Starting point is 04:16:59 And they did. And I'm like, I'm a Diego fan, I like this. I like, he won me over as a fan when he walked out holding a bejeweled crucifix screaming and foaming at the mouth at his opponent so I don't know what he was saying. It's one of them things where like I don't know what he was saying I know he meant it though he was like he was like god power god. It was something like that, like something like, oh, hang on a minute. If you're his opponent and you don't maybe there is a backstage thing really. Hey, Diego, what's up, man?
Starting point is 04:17:33 Oh, you got the crucifix. Oh, he's doing the crucifix bit. Maybe. But I don't think so. I think his opponent was shocked when he saw Diego Sanchez walking toward him, casting spells on him with a talisman and fomented it, I like that kind of shit. That's the theater that I appreciate in the UFC. I like the freak fights and I wish there was more of that. I'm going to watch that lady wrestle with that man, I guess.
Starting point is 04:17:56 Yeah, I want to see what network is covering that. That's that'll be a YouTube stream. He's banned. You guys want to call it a show? YouTube stream. We're gonna do 20 more minutes on Gabby Garcia and what he wants to speculate on the size of her labia. It's very important. That's gold. We want to, we want to, I want to also want to do some product searches and I want to see what those late what lady cups look like. You know like like like like I know what you call it like a protective pussy cup I want to see I want to see some pictures those Glitter is probably a small penis by now. Oh for sure you'd suck the shit out of that thing
Starting point is 04:18:37 You'd be you could stroke it Taylor's up here like they're not fucking kidding You probably could Like I want to transition a little thumb down there. I want to like segue that into the all of a sudden. They've got this real problem in the UK of female genital mutilation. It came out of nowhere. It almost like you imported it somehow. And we did.
Starting point is 04:18:57 How did you do that? Import millions of people who do it? Yeah, right. Fucking Nazi. Look at you noticing again. What is it? The easiest thing to suss out ever. You're not you want to go on now that we can hate on a group of people you don't like. No, I like I'm done. You like everyone. I like everyone. Who's your favorite group of people?
Starting point is 04:19:23 The Jews. All right. It's the right answer. Because everyone knows that's the right answer. You know it's the right answer. How many people died in the Holocaust, Taylor? 30, 40, 50. Million. You were this close to losing your mortgage. At least. Got it. They just added zero on to it. They wouldn't take it away. They want you to keep paying. Yeah, that's true. What if that was how they fucked with you? They just, they like added some money to your mortgage and like inexplicably there was no records to dispute what they'd done. And you're like, please, you like that?
Starting point is 04:20:11 Oh, are you going to keep making your jokes on your show? You don't like it. Are you implying that they don't? We imply whatever we wish. They're the funniest group of people in the world, as far as I'm concerned. So I'm sure they appreciate a good, good joke. They do. They're the funniest group of people in the world as far as I'm concerned, so I'm sure they appreciate a good joke. They do dominate entertainment. They dominate entertainment like a German shepherd dominates a poor Palestinian refugee. So true. We have no other takeaway from this episode. Woody says Jews control the media. That's all right with him. So that's all right with him.
Starting point is 04:20:49 All right. Brandon, where can everyone find you other than your wonderful YouTube channel? There's Brandon Hur on YouTube, but the unsubscribed podcast is what we're really focusing on now. So everybody's been a lot of fun. Everybody wants to know how much you would sell one of them rifles for when they make eight fifties. Oh, we'll see if we do it, man. We'll see if we do it. We might make a long off Even if it was a one-off would you put?
Starting point is 04:21:12 $50,000 Mmm. I would love to just put one on gunbroker. See what it fucking goes for It's right. That would be the shittiest move in the world. But you know, we yeah, we probably good But now we you you, any of you guys are obviously welcome to, to come on the unsubscribe podcast anytime you'd like. And yeah, maybe next time we do our live shows, we're doing another live tour toward the end of the year. If any of you'd like to come out to that, we'd love to have you maybe as a guest if you like. Yeah, that'd be neat. That would be fun. I'd definitely be down.
Starting point is 04:21:42 Unsubscribe is a great name for a podcast. Not to, not to draw it out any fucking longer than we already have. But have you guys had any I know Wendigoon and and me Canyon there their creep cast podcast. They're about to do their live tour soon too. So is that something that you guys ever had any interest in? No, we've never really looked into that. Like that's really we've done events before, but it's been forever. It's a lot of fun. Like obviously you guys have a format that works, but no, it's a lot of fun.
Starting point is 04:22:11 We had Meat Canyon in on one of our last shows in Dallas. And I think that's kind of what got the bug in there maybe, but it's a lot of fun. I don't know, I kind of did. Let's see a live one, see how it goes. Yeah. See if I think we'd be good at it. I'd do a show in front of people, I don't care. I can't be alive one. See how it goes Yeah, see if I think we'd be good at it. I do a show in front of people. I don't care Hmm, it gets easier. Yeah, like we did four and
Starting point is 04:22:31 By the third or fourth one it was we were addicted. It's fucking fun. It doesn't want it to be fun live energy. Yeah Yeah, especially you bring in the audience into it, which with your crowd, you know You might have to make deodorant mandatory at the door, you know, shit like that. Same with ours, to be honest. They're classy individuals. They have a great sense of humor. All our guys smell great. That's what I hear. They smell good and they're tall. That's why I can't stop smelling them when I go to the SIEM in person. Well, I'm on my own. I can't say shit. Well, it's been a blast. I can't take no more.

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