Painkiller Already - Dr Disrespect Cancelled, You Are Next: PKA 706 W/ Sam Hyde & Richard Ryan

Episode Date: June 29, 2024

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Starting point is 00:00:00 pka 706 taylor this episode of pka is brought to you by blue chew lock and load and some merch go to painkilleralready.com and you can buy t-shirts and mugs and hats and all sorts of things so that people will see you in public and go wow that guy has good taste in podcasts they might say that there's a that's what everyone wants in all seriousness i made sure most of the designs were very understated. Because if I'm wearing something that is about a show or some pop culture I consume, I like it to blend in with the rest of my wardrobe. I'm fairly disappointed.
Starting point is 00:00:34 There's no shirt with cum splatter all over it? No. See, I fought on the other side of the battle on this one. I was all about it. I wanted the stains. I can't get a wig. God damn it. I thought it was important. I wanted the stains. I can't get a wig. I thought it was
Starting point is 00:00:45 important to launch the merch tonight because $1 from the sale of every piece of merchandise goes to a doctor disrespect victim. That's so legally binding. In actuality, no. Doctor disrespect victims because there are too many of them.
Starting point is 00:01:02 I'm more of a bootstraps guy when it comes to charity. Oh, yeah. They should be going broke here paying off these victims. Yeah. Pull up your bootstraps. Every day a new one. Yeah. So I wait.
Starting point is 00:01:15 But you were telling me before this, Kyle, that everything turned around and he's back in the good graces of the online. No, not that. It's the other thing. Did more stuff happen? stuff happened i was right so yeah of course just to catch anyone who's not an internet loser like us um up dr disrespect it turned out had been sexting some minors back in 2017 or a minor back in 2017 allegedly and that's why he was uh kicked off of twitch and they had the big contract dispute and everything and now it's all coming out because a twitch employee i think kind of
Starting point is 00:01:51 came forward publicly and that started this avalanche of other stuff coming out and then doc has to make this big apology and he does an apology stream and a big apology tweet and i don't think any of that went over super well the editing of the tweet i thought was a fun little twist like he's like you know i may have been texting a minor and it trended towards the inappropriate and then he removed minor and made it like individual or something if that's not right it's close yeah but he didn't realize that on x now you can see that the tweet edits so you just click on like the original version and see that it said minor so we added minor back in there back yeah and look to to cut i guess put it out there and covering
Starting point is 00:02:32 it up is even worse than just putting it yeah it was quite discreet of a tweet so i can see how you miss a minor detail like that yeah yeah guy writes more than jrr martin oh yeah i was reading through and i'm like why is he spending so much time on the food and the feasts on this confession the pork pie was delicious now yeah dude so i've disliked this guy for 15 years he came out of the gate hating on x jaws who i was real familiar with at the time uh he railed on me and my family which for no reason i never i've still never spoken to dr disrespect but uh he had it out for me so i'm just enjoying fucking dr kid inspects demise aspiring pedophile the short of it is he's messaging children child anyway and trying to meet up with them at TwitchCon.
Starting point is 00:03:25 And this is the TwitchCon where he cheated on his wife. So he was just hound-dogging it, like trying to set up a sex station without his wife. 2017 was the year of the doc. He was out there slamming brewskis, sexting minors, ripping off transsexual cam girls, like anything he could do. I mean, he's probably gripping it right now.
Starting point is 00:03:48 Filming in bathrooms. He was getting free cam shows. And, dude, I wasn't even familiar with the masturbatory slang he's in there. You know, she's like, you want pictures? And he's like, I'm gripping it right now. Well, hang on. We need to back up just a second. Explore what you're talking about with that.
Starting point is 00:04:01 I need you to fill me in. What about? Yeah. I mean, you could show her Twitter, Zach. This girl isn't shy about what went down. You could show what this person looks like. There's a selfie of her and Doc together. I'll send that to you, Zach.
Starting point is 00:04:15 Can we on YouTube? Twitter's a lot faster and looser with the nudity rules than YouTube. There's no nudity. I don't want to show nudity. First of all, thumbtack in that. Remind me to come full circle on YouTube and its nudity policy because that's my new favorite
Starting point is 00:04:30 porn site. Wait, is that the girl? That's not how I remember her. Is that her? Well, yeah, that's her. I mean, there's another picture that I just put in the WhatsApp that maybe he can drag over here somehow with the wonders of technology. And it's them together,
Starting point is 00:04:47 like posing at a con or something. Probably the 2017 Twitch con. But I guess he was... There you go. That's the one. See, she looks a little more drag queen-y. This is like the show, the one I saw. Yeah. So what's the story behind this?
Starting point is 00:04:58 Fill me in. Well, I guess that he was telling her he could get her in the partner program. And I assumed the Twitch partner program. But who knows? um that's where you think he'd have the most pull if she like gave him some free cam shows and i guess she did that and then you can block somebody on twitter but that doesn't delete your dms you know those are still just so she went ahead and was like oh we're filing on doc this week let me tell you you don't even know my history and it's funny he's like i'm gripping it right now i think it was a different one where he's like are you ready to see the doc explode if this isn't exactly right
Starting point is 00:05:34 it's close he did not refer to himself as the doc i hope he did i look i i didn't mean to mess it up but i probably did i'm hoping that he did hoping that he did. All this stuff is like... It's the explode stuff, man. First of all, I don't... Well, this seems consensual. They were just... Yeah, yeah. These are adults.
Starting point is 00:05:52 The only person who didn't consent to this was his wife. Yeah, that's not cool. But he and the... He's the only one old enough to consent. Trans lady, I guess? I don't know what... Yeah, it's a trans lady. So she was born a guy and she switched over to
Starting point is 00:06:05 be a girl yeah well yeah absolutely yes that yes that um trans is this even a big enough deal that it's getting traction right now in the drama world or yeah i would say so because it oh but all right so the blood is in the water that That's what you got to understand. So everybody is like, what else we got? What else we got? The information cycle on TV is three days on the internet. It's 30 minutes. What else you got? We've got this reaction video. Nick Merckx didn't react exactly correctly. So let's pile on him. Anybody who like steps out of line a little bit,
Starting point is 00:06:40 let's see what this person said about it. So I felt like I've been, I've been inundated with it for the last day or two just because i'm on reddit so much um and i we've been trying to get permission or i me and chis have to to play the the doctor disrespect diss that uh god made if you go to pack god's second uh channel you may not know him but it's spelled like it sounds p-a-c-k god tv oh my god he's got a uh a doctor disrespect uh little little riff there that is fucking hilarious i'm hoping we get permission to play that how does this end for the doc he says he's coming back and he's done it before but coming back from being an aspiring pedophile is harder than coming back from being a cheater.
Starting point is 00:07:26 This is a taller order than what he's done in the past. He might just fucking shack up with P. Diddy and call it a life. I don't know. You think he'll just... Because, I mean, he's probably eight figures wealthy. He was one of the biggest streamers in the world. I would agree with that estimate, yeah. Would he not be pulling any punches this week, as as you can tell if only he was this real with wings
Starting point is 00:07:49 i don't think he likes this guy one bit this is reserved can i just say like i've also never had an interaction with dr disrespect he's one of the few people like that i haven't that's kind of been from our circle or that part of the internet or whatever. But I don't hate him. I don't like what he did to you. That makes me be like, oh, this guy. It's part of where my grudge comes from. I'm like another guy just
Starting point is 00:08:15 coming out of thin air after me for some reason. You don't like that he came at Woody, but you're okay with all the recent happenings. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I stand with the doc, okay? I want that to be known. It's just me and him. Back to back.
Starting point is 00:08:35 Did they take your bulletproof vests? No, he throws one over his shoulder at me and says, buckle up, buddy. It's going to be a rough ride. And I'm like, and we're fighting off the woke media and all these people out there who are anti kitty diddler woke and the conservative media but the media and and people all the media no it's just that like i feel like aspiring pedophile is a little strong he did try he intentionally with a minor right that much is locked in and it would have been legal in the uk you know what i mean but in california it's not
Starting point is 00:09:12 so he illegally with a minor and tried to hook up with this child at twitch con and part of it comes from like being a father myself. I am so thankful that my daughter never bumped into a groomer like Dr. Disrespect trying to fuck her as a child at TwitchCon. That is every parent's nightmare. It was a minor problem. A minor mistake. Dude, he's just bad at math. No, it seems like it might be just you in his corner.
Starting point is 00:09:56 It looks like everybody doesn't like him. Yeah. Like I said, we're up on that mountain. We're up on that mountain just back to back surrounded by oppressors. Oppressors. mountain just back to back surrounded by by uh oppressors oppressors yeah you see everyone trying to colonize dr disrespect they see a six foot eight 42 year old man wearing body armor a wig and glasses with a weird mustache and they say i don't know about about this guy i don't think i want him with my 17 year old daughter and i say bigot 17 it's about this guy. I don't think I want him with my 17-year-old daughter. And I say, bigot. 17. Just posh.
Starting point is 00:10:28 That's a tricky thing. There are a lot of 17. I hope it's 17. He hasn't locked in. So his apologists are like, you know, the kid was probably a few days shy of 18. And you don't know, maybe the kid said all the sexy stuff and Dr. Disrespect was just giving her business advice all this time.
Starting point is 00:10:44 Meanwhile, Dr. Disrespect hasn't said anything like that. the sexy stuff and dr disrespect was just giving her business advice all this time meanwhile dr disrespect hasn't said anything like that i think he's afraid that the contents of the conversation will come out and prove him lying again and i say again because he spent years pretending he had no idea why he was kicked off of twitch and discord yeah when he's an nda no he said he didn't know why like that's not it's not i can't talk about why it's i think well you lie when there's an nda he said yeah you like it is a must be the worst thing possible when you said it said that's an nda it made it sound like he wasn't able to talk about it he could have said i know what i did and we're gonna keep it quiet but he's like i have no idea his line was
Starting point is 00:11:25 there are purple snakes out to get me that's what he lied because there was an nda because he can't be exactly forthcoming and what's forthcoming doesn't sound good anyway you know but uh but sometimes an nda is just like they were fucking me over bro and i have to keep quiet about it and they paid me off so like you know you never know but i think it's clearly covered on it wasn't that like if he clearly isn't hamstrung totally because he wrote a fucking book about it on twitter and within that he it's like he showed the extent to which he could talk about it and well within that extent would be him stating she said she was was 24 and I was befuddled and I didn't know. And like, he didn't say any of that. It's possible that...
Starting point is 00:12:09 Which leads me to believe that's not the case. Or that the NDA isn't binding because a Twitch employee leaked that information. Like maybe there's a clause for that, that if your side comes out, this looks bad. Look, I love a whistleblower, but man, I hope that guy's okay.
Starting point is 00:12:24 I hope he's not like, whoever that was that came man i hope that guy's okay i hope he's not like whoever that that was that came forward and released all this information i hope he's safe somewhere are there a lot of people like uh still staying in doc's corner like but what i've seen like pretty much everybody's like fuck this guy i think it's just him and kyle him and kyle pretending right now when this story broke, Bloomberg did some actual investigative reporting and has confirmed from three different sources that he was sexting with a minor knowingly. There were a lot of people who were kind of making up scenarios where it would be less inappropriate aspiring pedophile behavior,
Starting point is 00:13:03 but that is not the case. He doesn't have much of a defense on this one it would seem according to bloomberg it doesn't seem like it and they're triple checked sources it just doesn't make sense why he wouldn't have addressed it differently if it was a more favorable situation to him because he would have been trying to get out in front of it if that was the case and be like oh let me clarify some stuff before anything gets wild but like he didn't do that he's like i'm gonna leave where's p diddy that's where i want to be word minor in and out which is like bad look a key part of that like do you think he was reading it afterward and he's like oh this does look bad honey take a look at my apology
Starting point is 00:13:47 video for the minor what do you think oh you didn't write minor did you uh i mean she was clearly i mean i knew it was just one of which knew it that's the other thing can we just talk about everybody's piling on doc about this is right so but don't forget that was which is still keep it has been still keeping quiet officially that this massive streamer was sexting underage girls on a platform full of that on a platform full of that and issues with that and like like sexuality and children like co-mingling in this awkward weirdness that is twitch you know if you go we've talked about it before the cam girls and the you girls and all the crazy
Starting point is 00:14:26 shit that goes down there. It's like, man, this is not about kids and video games, but you're pretending like it is. There are kids in here watching you show your camel toe and bounce your ass. It's pretty wild what goes down over there.
Starting point is 00:14:41 Twitch did talk about it a little. I have the Rolling Stone article in front of me. And here, I'll just read two paragraphs. The ex-Twitch employee has also provided Rolling Stone a more detailed account of internal conversations at Twitch following the report of Dr. Kidd and Specs. I added that. Messages to his subsequent band. They say the details of Beam's case are coming out because Connor's explosive tweet last week. Cody got the ball rolling.
Starting point is 00:15:07 Me and many of my former colleagues are comfortable speaking up now because of it. Our priority has always been the safety of the victim and to keep their identity secret. As some of its streamers faced a flood of sexual misconduct allegations in June 2020, Twitch created an incident response team known as Gold Sparrow to develop a process to investigate and take action on the reports as one unit, the former employee says. We wanted to be able to process mounting investigations quicker and with more resources while providing as much support for victims as possible. So I guess they had a Gold Sparrow response team for treating pedophiles like Dr. Disrespect.
Starting point is 00:15:47 You got taken out by the golden sparrow. Operation Golden Sparrow. That's okay. Well, you hear the flutter of wings. You know what? That was my favorite detail. The gold sparrow. It made it sound like a more intentional effort.
Starting point is 00:16:03 You guys both took lame away. There's like five people. I hope they had broaches. Alright guys, week one, we gotta come up with a name. Week two, we're getting on this. Operation Goldstrand. So that's why it took from 2017. He got banned in 2020.
Starting point is 00:16:20 Does that sound right? I don't remember. I thought it was 2017 when everything happened, but I don't remember yeah there's no way i thought it was 2017 when everything happened but but i don't i don't keep up with him or really care about him like his i haven't liked his content for like 14 years i used to do these video skits where he was training like a randy you know i remember those those were good and and it was like he was also making them where everybody else was just making commentary with no camera of themselves. And it was just really plain Jane shit.
Starting point is 00:16:48 It was early modern warfare two days. And he was including with that like skits real that were filmed well and acted well. And there was characters and a storyline going on. And I was kind of into it. It was like training a noob to be a gamer, but treating it like it was karate, the kid or something. It was fun. Yeah. As much as I fuss about him. I was talking to Jackie today.
Starting point is 00:17:08 I was like, I do have to give him credit. He would have seemingly prepared speeches for winning a game of Fortnite. Then the background would change and he'd be in a locker room or in front of American flags. I don't fucking know. But it wasn't just him sitting like he always did. He'd get up and walk around the virtual room with good production quality. And either he has a real knack for making a speech off the top of his head or he had something prepared. Either way, he was doing more than everybody else was.
Starting point is 00:17:40 That's got to be a huge part of his success. But he was also trying to fuck more children than everybody else and that's i like the costume too i'll be honest i like that costume i think that thing's fucking cool you know we always talk about branding get your twitter to fucking match or youtube no that's branding that's branding like like in a sea of pale face lightly bearded men suddenly there was a six foot eight tall giant where with a mullet and body armor who was screaming at you with that absurd mustache and it was like all right there's no way it's kind of like when a ufc fighter has rainbow hair or ridiculous tattoos the next time you see him
Starting point is 00:18:18 which might be three four six eight months from now and some other show you're like oh yeah i remember this guy now he's rainbow warrior. Yeah. Okay. And you kind of become a fan of someone because they are recognizable. It's too old for most of our audience now, but Chuck Liddell was a UFC fighter. He had a Mohawk and he had these blue shorts with, he was called the ice man and were they blue flames or something or white flames on his blue shorts? Something like that. My point is I think a six-year-old
Starting point is 00:18:45 could draw this guy with crayons and identify that guy as Chuck Liddell. I wouldn't know what he was going for. That or Mr. T? Yeah. He's not black. Well, you could color him in. I guess.
Starting point is 00:19:00 My point was, Dr. Disrespect, if that same kid with the crayons drew Dr. Disrespect, I'd like I know what you're going for. I legitimately haven't seen one. He may have to. There's kids everywhere right now with a sketch artist
Starting point is 00:19:16 like this is the man. This is the man. They should let the kids draw the sketch thing. We're looking for a tall, scary man. With sharp teeth and mismatched eyes. Also, he's green. There's one guy walking around with a poorly drawn top hat on.
Starting point is 00:19:35 He's like, I gotta get out of here. With three fingers. Three fingers. With a stick body sprinting away. We're looking for the three-fingered man. of his stick body sprinting away. We're looking for the three-fingered man. I had not seen,
Starting point is 00:19:50 I haven't seen any content of Dr. Disrespect in, I guess, a decade. It sounds old. I think you were right about 14, 15 years. Because I remember how he'd be dressed up in his getup and then he'd transition into Randy wearing sweatbands on a treadmill
Starting point is 00:20:04 and be like, you have to keep going like sweat bands on a treadmill and be like you have to keep going to be the ultimate gamer or like something like that and i remember at the time seeing it and being like man these only have like 8 000 views like which even then wasn't a lot yeah then he exploded and got a little too big for his britches seemingly starts messaging underage people you know what's crazy with you? He was bad at the game. Somehow he went from console to PC, and unlike the rest of us,
Starting point is 00:20:32 he just got super good at games. I mean, not super good. Oh, you think he was bad in the early days? He was always bad on controllers. He was bad at Modern Warfare. His videos would be like, this is one step above a Junkyard Quickie. How did he win two
Starting point is 00:20:47 Blockbuster championships? What the fuck is a Blockbuster championship? I'm sorry, I don't know what a Blockbuster championship is. He's a two-time Blockbuster champion. Oh, that's the stick he's got. What's he up to now? Who?
Starting point is 00:21:07 Blockbuster's gone. i don't know he had a heart attack entrepreneur oh wait you made that up i'm not yeah i did it was pretty good he always seemed like a nice guy i never really knew him yeah he's a nice guy he's yeah that's about all i knew yeah we're just annoyed by like his presence in our community i suppose there was just a tupperware salesman inexplicably making call of duty videos it was a real high school lunch table vibe back then at some point everybody this is who we're bullying and then smaller channels would be like okay i don't want to be bullied so in i follow formula one a lot in formula one they're all great drivers and there's 20 drivers and probably the 16th best driver is this guy named Lance stroll. His dad owns his team. Everybody else in his shoes is
Starting point is 00:21:55 worried. They're going to lose their seat. That's what they call losing their job. Except this guy, whose dad owns the team. Everyone's dad is rich. Every one of these kids is a nip out, nepo baby, but multi-billionaire that's just one you know most of their fathers have a measly like 185 million something like that yeah yeah fucking barely a pot to piss in but this guy's dad is a multi-billionaire and he bought the team so that this kid could live his dream of being an f1 driver and everybody hates him he's not even the worst driver on the grid but because he's such a like doesn't deserve his spot maybe even more than people treat him differently back to junkyard
Starting point is 00:22:31 he was what a preferred machinima director i forget that was called jen burns they were yeah and like they just had this position above everybody but hutch it seemed. And we were all like, it just didn't seem fair. It didn't seem right. Oh, yeah. Do you remember after that? Upload space on this loser. He's literally a woman's shoe salesman. This is a guy who invented the side hustle in fucking 2007, people.
Starting point is 00:22:59 Okay? He had all these little jobs and called duty commentary. It was, hey, this will be another piece of the pie. Here's a junkyard quickie for you. like i don't care what you do over there but like he was taking a slot away from people who were like this is a zero-sum game yeah what we were doing who were good at it and focused on it it's like this is he'd like he'd upload a video like a search and destroy video where someone else got a clutch or something you're like that was another quickie it's like it wasn't search what was it sabotage he would upload a sabotage where someone sprinted
Starting point is 00:23:31 to the other side and planted the bomb so you could have a 90 second fucking video and he called him junkyard quickies and then yeah he'd get one kill in the whole video he'd get one kill in the whole video and all the commentary was basically, I don't know why you're watching this thing on Machinima's channel. You should go out to my channel and check out more content. He was just advertising his personal channel. I hope you like this video here on Machinima. Come on over to my channel. This was just a
Starting point is 00:23:55 30-second ad for my channel, really. It took a spot away from the guy who made a 27-minute commentary where he went 804 in domination. I always feel like seeing those junkyard quickies pop up and i'm like i've got a 68 and oh tdm in my drop box like a sniper rifle yeah i burned a good story on that one if you could please sure wars won't upload it oh yeah sure like short wars did everything other than be like fuck you when you ask like hey i've got nine videos of my dropbox and none of them have been uploaded
Starting point is 00:24:32 in a month you'd be like is that right taylor go fuck yourself yeah we're gonna upload it never it's gonna be in this dropbox until the dropbox service expires the content and it falls into the internet a bit. Yeah. So I do remember everybody being mad about that, but as a dude, he seemed. So that is why I picked on him and led campaigns against him. I do remember.
Starting point is 00:24:55 Yeah. You, you did not care for being passed over. You're like, I'm doing silly Russian voices and this guy's not. There was a point where I was big enough that they'd upload anything I wanted, but then like, I'd give them what was the best I could do.
Starting point is 00:25:09 And they'd be like, ah, all right, what do we uploaded it? But can you like, it was a better video next time. And I'm like, well,
Starting point is 00:25:15 fuck you. I'm never giving you any videos. That's actually the best I could do. I remember like the first, I was proud of that. Yeah. I think the first FPS was with you woody right you guys did it again the first fps russia video is with woody right the first uh dual con
Starting point is 00:25:32 you guys did when you started really promoting it he definitely was on my channel like when he when fps russia was still a gamer but i don't know that was maybe the first time i watched and immediately i'm like oh k, Kyle does a good Russian accent. Like, no, uh, maybe, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:25:51 I did a bunch of, um, of stuff like that initially to try to promote it. I know I did probably a free for all on, um, shipment. No, I hated shipping.
Starting point is 00:26:03 You did a free for all on shipment where you only where you only used direct impact noob tube kills. Oh, yeah. That was funny. Yeah. I don't really remember, but I know I did like dual comms with Woody and with XJaws and maybe with Wings
Starting point is 00:26:18 and some other people, you know, right away to try to promote it. I think so. I wish I i could remember i can't believe i can't remember the name of that map now it's been so long ago i haven't played cod cod force the remaster you describe it what what game was it cod for yeah cod for modern warfare 2 was it the boat one no but modern warfare 2 is my offer too it's i'm talking about call of duty 4 okay was it the was it uh wet work it's the one that's got a congested like a little arabic market in the middle and then it's got a long street um no
Starting point is 00:26:53 that's a helicopter in the middle showdown um might be showdown no it's not showdown it doesn't matter i don't care zach says probably is uh in any case you want to shift to um the debates oh yeah i i ended at nine o'clock that's wild this is hard for me i'm a political junkie for all of you who don't want to hear about politics you're welcome you have no idea how much restraint i've shown as trump got convicted for 34 felonies, how much restraint I've shown as the weekly stuff comes out. Biden says something silly. Trump says something silly. I follow this shit like the biggest sports fan you've ever met. You think he hates Dr. Disrespect?
Starting point is 00:27:35 You don't even know how much he hates Donald Trump. He hates Trump more. I mean, I try to follow with an unbiased heart. I doubt I succeed, but it is my goal. And tonight is like, I don I succeed, but it is my goal. And, uh, tonight is like, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:27:48 Finals game one. Like it's, this is where the champion, this is where the chip is earned. And we haven't seen the moderator. Like who it's CNN. And it's Jake Tapper and Dana bash. And I have thoughts on that too.
Starting point is 00:28:00 Like a lot of people on the Trump side, they're like playing the refs already. They're like, those guys are so biased. They're terrible. They're going to be against us. We hate them. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:09 And I think their goal is to get them to swing in the other direction and like, you know, make sure that they can't possibly be accused of Trump bias, perhaps by being biased against Biden. I don't know. So I'll evaluate them after they're done. I mean,
Starting point is 00:28:22 I recognize that Jake Tapper probably in his heart doesn't like Trump, but we'll see what he says. They've played montages of Jake Tapper. I just saw a tweet from like a while ago. He was one of those like, to save democracy, don't vote for this guy. Well, we'll see how he does in the thing. But like I said, I never thought Jake Tapper in his heart wasn't down the middle, but we'll see how he does in the thing but like i said i i never thought jake tapper in his heart wasn't down the middle but we'll see how he does in the debate i think he's very evidently partisan he's just he's so far left i'm not okay let's all agree his own words on youtube and we watch montages of him
Starting point is 00:28:59 treating the trump presidency like it was like hitler was in office and we needed to be... Are you afraid as you walk down the street like millions of other Americans? Like, just a piece of shit. Those guys are so biased. That's how I feel how the right does it. Right now, they tell you... They do! But we admit it. They're not hiding, and no one... Okay, admitting it's the difference.
Starting point is 00:29:19 I don't know. John Hannity, he's right down the middle, I'm telling you. He tells you exactly this. They don't say that. They say no. John Hannity's right right down the middle he tells you exactly that they say no John Hannity is right wing he was in the ministry he was almost a catholic priest and now he does talk radio
Starting point is 00:29:34 what do you think he's on of course you admit it he actually attends Trump rallies and speaks to the crowd behind the podium you get hard to deny yeah I don't know who this other person is you mentioned as a moderator speaks to the crowd behind the podium like that oh yeah you get hard to deny like yeah i mean like i don't know who this other person is you mentioned as a moderator but like you would if you saw jake tapper's pretty funny you probably recognize it's not even i don't i don't know i
Starting point is 00:29:58 don't know exactly what the format's going to be how it's going to work how interruptions are going to be handled how the microphone is going to handle how the fact checking is going to be displayed or given to the and i don't know what the live audience looks like either so the um they ask a question you get i think 90 seconds to answer it and then the rebuttals are 60 seconds if it's not that it's and 30, but it's something like that. The other person's mic is not fully muted. CNN did this demonstration, but the other guy sounds garbled and unintelligible. You can only hear perhaps Betty saying something without making out the words. That's not even a debate. Well, is it?
Starting point is 00:30:44 I mean, in a debate, you're typically like any day. I hope was in speech and debate and you don't get to interrupt and yell over each other. Instead, you remain quiet while that person goes and you take turns. What Trump did last time was just try to yell over Biden, especially in the first debate. He yelled over Biden the whole time. Well, in traditional speech and debate, like I'm sure Hope participated in, like they take it much more seriously staying on topic than they do in these political kind of shows where it's like, actually, you're debating gas, oil production in the United States compared to nuclear. Could we get back to that? Like because it's a class and because they'll like force them to do that. Like a lot of speech debate is worse,
Starting point is 00:31:29 I would argue. So like what would happen is I'd make my point and I'd try to have like seven facts that back me up. Now you're in this position where you have to beat all seven. And if you don't, I'm beating you. And it's like, I think if you very persuasively beat three of them,
Starting point is 00:31:46 you should win. Even if there's four silly, stupid things, they don't like weight and grade my different things. It's just like, who scored what he's up for zero. Cause Taylor couldn't beat him. Now it's Taylor's turn.
Starting point is 00:31:57 See how many Woody can, uh, dispute. And that's not what I'm going for. Debunk. And, uh, but this,
Starting point is 00:32:07 you know, it's a little more about charisma and persuasion. But we'll see. I like them muting it. Well, better yet, I want to try muting it. Because I've tried the interruption fest and I don't like it much. I'm hoping somebody goes off script. I'm hoping it gets nasty and juvenile. I hope they're shouting and name calling.
Starting point is 00:32:24 I hope that he talks about Biden's children and Biden talks about Trump's. I hope he calls Trump a felon and he's like, takes one to no one or some shit. You know, I was the person who prepared Biden for his debates in 2020. It was a woman and she was ripping on Biden's children so that he said so that when trump did it it wouldn't be the first time he hears this and biden put his hand on her wrist and he's like i think you're enjoying this a little too much which i thought was funny yeah well he's like i am i love it but anything we don't already know about these two is going to be uncovered like that it's just people like watching the pundits are all saying that it's about vibe like can trump stay hinged i don't know if hinged is a term unhinged is but right if trump can
Starting point is 00:33:13 not go unhinged and if biden can stay alert and capable and you know cognitive cognitively there those are the things they're trying to prove and to your point it's really not about although that's what I always like. I don't think that's what everybody likes. What did you think about Trump asking for a drug test? That to me is one of Trump's many, many, many digs and attacks that's just part of Trumpism. I didn't think that it was actually a clever point that lands in voters. It's no different than him saying, you know, Hunter's a cokehead. It's just a way to reinforce his argument. Hey, this guy isn't with it.
Starting point is 00:33:55 This guy's crazy. You know, he's an old doddering man who's confused constantly. It's just a red meat statement. And if he's not that at all, it's because they have drugs that last for 30 minutes that he took right before the debate yeah i mean that's a big right-wing talking point that it is that biden is uh on something when you know when he speaks because because there are two or three different versions of biden that we get there's sleepy joe and he still exists i've seen sleepyy Joe in the last month. He's all fucking stroked out looking.
Starting point is 00:34:27 And the people behind him are like visible. There's Mr. Burns Joe fucking creeping around with his vampire hand. I'm going to make a prediction here and we'll see what comes. And then there's alert State of the Union Joe. Yeah, I think Joe's a game day player and that version of him you see
Starting point is 00:34:43 that's dragging and confused and walking around stage like a rumba is when like this is the fifth thing he did that day he's exhausted and he's not the best version of himself but he's going to come into this thing where this is the only thing he's really got going for the day as a matter of fact all along this has been his primary focus and we should see game day joe we'll see my lord the drugs are precious we must save them for the debate yeah i've seen that like they debunk the fuck out of that they're like adderall does not how would they debunk it adderall apparently does nothing for cognitive decline there's another drug of ritalin i think that does nothing for cognitive decline there's one like provovil i'm messing
Starting point is 00:35:22 terrible with drugs that lasts for 12 hours. So the Republican talking point is that the reason you see him trail off after 60 minutes and not do as well in the final 30 in his State of the Union is that the drug only lasts. See, this is an interesting real quick. This is an interesting example of how fact checking actually works is people go. This is a doddering old man who's being led around on stage regularly, like mumbling in a way that even the people, his handlers can't understand. And then some conspiracy theorists will be like,
Starting point is 00:35:52 he's taking ultra super secret, like Alex Jones level. He's taking secret pills that make him a genius for a brief windows. And then the fact checkers, instead of like what the true accusation there is like, this guy's goosed up because he's an old man and they go instead, uh, fact checkers, instead of like what the true accusation there is like, this guy's goosed up because he's an old man and they go instead. Fact check. There is no magic limitless style pill that makes you a genius debunked. And then people who are convinced that Joe Biden is just selectively cogent will latch onto that.
Starting point is 00:36:20 And people who are convinced that he's on pills won't won't pay attention to it. And they'll be like, no, he is. He's clearly the accusation isn't that he has a limitless pill i think i buy into the idea that um he does worse at the end of a long day i do you think not if he takes adderall so so the accusation is that he's taking stimulants not that he has something that makes his neurons fire better. Not even that it's something that improves cognitive performance on any measurable scale. Something that peps him up. He's taking pep pills like Hitler did.
Starting point is 00:37:00 That's the accusation that they're making. That they're shooting him up. And look, I don't know if that's true uh that's the accusation um that that they're making that they're shooting him up with and and look i don't know if that's true or not maybe maybe when it's state of the union day they let him have a nap in the afternoon maybe that's it i could believe and get hey give joe two cups of coffee make them strong you know i could believe that that's it that honestly i think that's probably it if i'm being real i'm not on State of the Union night, they're like, make sure the president gets his three-hour nap this afternoon. He is an 80-year-old man. He thrives on them.
Starting point is 00:37:33 Then give him two strong cups of coffee 30 minutes before we hit the stage. That way the jitters die down, and he'll be fucking Joe from 1995 again. Fact check, he's 81 i can check he's 81 huh yeah he's just what you know 80 during the state of the union though oh he probably i don't know he might be right i was making it up so my point works for me i don't know um but that would be my guess he also could be and i wouldn't discount it that he's on stimulant, a methamphetamine of some kind, like Adderall or Ritalin. I just want you to hear that part. If you think Trump is above taking an upper of some sort for a day.
Starting point is 00:38:12 We know he takes them. Yeah, of course he probably does. I've seen the photos. He uploads pictures of his uppers. He's a man. He has taken photos with them. I like to tweak. His drawer was open and he had a lot of money.
Starting point is 00:38:27 But I didn't see him actually put them in his mouth. What do you call an ex? On Twitter, you make tweets. On X, what do you make? Posts. Tweets still. It hasn't caught on. The conversation
Starting point is 00:38:44 we just had should have been had in front of Elon. Be like, see, here's the deal, Elon. Everybody posts stuff. We post stuff everywhere. It's a very old word post. But tweeting something? We invented that here. When someone says I tweeted it or I read a tweet, everyone knows what app it was.
Starting point is 00:39:01 Yeah. Now, forevermore, someone sees a post on x and they say where did you hit that information that late that late breaking news and they'll say i read a post online i read an x no one says that no yeah it says it's every bit as dumb as if kleenex were to change their name it's like bro no you nailed it you are the thing your kleenex is the word they use. It's the name for the other fucking delicate wipes. What is it called? Yeah, tissues. Facial tissue, maybe?
Starting point is 00:39:30 I don't know. I don't know what the brand is. It's for blowing your nose. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Kleenex is it. Or if Google were to change the name, it would be just as big a mistake. Google's a verb.
Starting point is 00:39:40 And you don't change that. You've got it locked in. Yeah. Yeah. That's what. It's weird that he changed how long is the debate supposed to be 90 minutes i'm pretty sure of actual like participation and talking or no i think there's if there's not two commercial breaks there's three it's something
Starting point is 00:39:58 like that why would they start it at is it nine eastern right it is 9. That seems like when a blues game would... When they're playing the fucking Hurricanes and the game starts at 9 Eastern, I'm like, fuck, this won't be done until 11. It should go until 10.30. Would 8 to 9.30 be better? I don't know because that's 5
Starting point is 00:40:19 West Coast. I think 9 is the time. I guess East Coast people are used to staying up late for this stuff it just feels late these are two geriatric men they're gonna be sleepy i which one do you think i know biden's a night owl and i suspect trump is it's everybody knows trump says he's always on uh social media like late at night i don't think that'll affect him i think they both got their naps i I want nastiness. I want Trump to yell something mean. Biden's not about being mean now, too, so he can come back with some snarky shit, too.
Starting point is 00:40:52 There's some little clips for us to watch. That's my big hope from the debate. If I had to guess now, I'd say Biden's probably the more likely one to win, I would say right now. I think the onus is on trump to do well and if you're if you're uh if you're a trump fan or if you're just a biden hater you better hope for biden to drop the ball tonight because that's what we need both sides oh i'm sorry i thought you're finished yeah both sides said that trump didn't really prepare for this debate instead uh he went on podcasts and shows did rallies and stuff like that but he didn't really prepare for this debate. Instead, he went on podcasts and shows and did rallies and stuff like that, but he didn't
Starting point is 00:41:28 do mock debates. He feels like that. And he didn't study up on issues because he feels like that's school and he doesn't like it. But we'll see. Because part of me is like, you didn't prep for the debate. You didn't do your homework. You're going to look like a fool. But the debate's not about the things that I like. I like to see some guy have a well-formed policy or like uh list the things that actually happened and prove why they were they're right about a thing that's not what i think the actual winner of a debate is the one who had the big gotcha moment you know i think it's going to come off better more more commanding and trustworthy and less
Starting point is 00:42:03 petty i i think if you come off looking juvenile and weak, I think if they can see that your feelings are hurt and you're lashing out, that's a terrible look. I think you've got to keep calm and collected while not getting bulldozed over. And that goes for both of them. I think the rules are different for Biden. I think if Trump, like, for example, if Trump were to attack Biden's kids, that would just be Trump, right? This is what he does. If Biden turns around and counterattacks Trump's children, you know, maybe Don's cocaine accusations or Kushner's investments or whatever it goes for, Biden will look bad. He'll lose that exchange. Honestly, it's because all you've got is maybe,
Starting point is 00:42:43 I don't know about those cocaine allegations. I think you just made them. No, they came from unreliable internet sources, but they are what they are. Exactly. Yeah. Like you. I'm teasing, but what I'm saying is one guy's kid was convicted of the crimes surrounding his drug use and that and just to
Starting point is 00:43:07 once again show house interest I am the crimes he was accused of are nonsense non-constitutional fucking crimes gun use by a felon or by a drug user or whatever the fuck it is it's basically lying on your
Starting point is 00:43:23 4473 form when you purchase a gun are you a drug user or whatever the fuck it is. It's basically lying on your 4473 form when you purchase a gun. Are you a drug user? No. Oh. He had that gun for like seven days. Oh. That I don't believe. That I believe they managed they paid someone to craft
Starting point is 00:43:39 a narrative in which that is true. You're just wrong and I'll explain why. His wife took the gun, threw it away, reported to the police in which dumpster they just wrong. And I'll explain why his wife took the gun, threw it away, reported to the police in which dumpster they would find it. And they did. Yeah. All right.
Starting point is 00:43:53 That makes him look worse though. Oh yeah. Yeah. There was a, he was a drug addict and he and his wife were not in a good place. That's worse than just owning the gun for a year. Yeah, I don't know. He was so unstable, the person who knows him most
Starting point is 00:44:09 threw the gun away and called the authorities. Meanwhile... To prove how centrist I am? This all seems accurate. Yeah, that's about right. That's a wild one for me. Ladies and gentlemen, Richard Ryan joining us on the show. Do your butts finally work in StreamYard?
Starting point is 00:44:24 Oh, your microphone is I've heard better. Watch in on a high and just on the way to the stage. Oh, man. Oh, they were booing the doc, but now all the clues are
Starting point is 00:44:40 muted. You're muted, bro. Be right back. He'll figure it out. Can't hear you yet. Zach, can you provide him instruction in the sidebar? Zach's like all handled. You're about to get beat up, Richard Bryan.
Starting point is 00:45:04 I guess Richard and Zach are big boys. But Zach's lean. I like that. Lean. I was about to say the same thing, and I was struggling for a complimentary phrasing. Yes. Yeah. Lean is a good way to say skinny.
Starting point is 00:45:19 Yeah. Have you seen The Expanse? I watched the first three episodes and I lost interest in it. What did they call the asteroid people? Reuters? Belters. Zach's got that Belters build.
Starting point is 00:45:34 I've heard you guys talk as much about it that I kind of know the vernacular. I will not be watching any of the debate. I will get Twitter, I'm sorry, ex's that summarize it later, where it'll be like, check out this funny clip of Trump going on one of his rants or Biden forgetting what he's doing mid-sentence. Or mispronouncing a word or something. Yeah. We'll see. I just, I don't like, it's just, they should be like no holds barred, like verbal fights up there.
Starting point is 00:46:11 Like I want the debates to be like the way British people do parliament, where it's like, oh, that's interesting. You'd say that, mate, because you're a pedo. Isn't that true? Did you guys not know this? Oh yeah, a real pedo and the other one's like my i say sir and he slaps him with the glove like that's what i want i i
Starting point is 00:46:30 want to see if these guys are capable of fighting in a way that isn't so carefully curated by whatever television network has rights to air it because that when i hear stuff like well we have to mute some mics we have to you know quick transition away from things at times and shut this person down in the middle of a point. Like that tells me like, OK, well, that's interesting. That can be used in a way that involves a lot of bias. Who's making the determinations for when these these like measures are taken? People like people like Jake Knapper. So you're wrong on that part. I agree with you in the beginning at the beginning. There's a clock that does that measuring.
Starting point is 00:47:08 And what was the second one? When they shut down, the mics are muted when it's not your turn to talk. Boom. I do like the idea. I've seen the British Parliament debates like you're talking about and they're fantastic. But in America, it's proven that they just scream over each other. And whoever doesn't stop talking wins the point and it's shit. I think it should be that because they don't delve into anything deep
Starting point is 00:47:32 enough anyway to solve it. It'll be Trump will be like, I love Israel more. And Biden will be like, no, that's not true. I was Jewish for many years back in 1903. And then Trump will be like, you're a liar. Oh, I'm a Jew too. Do you know this? I'm Jewish for many years back in the 90s. And then Trump will be like, you're a liar. Oh, I'm a Jew too.
Starting point is 00:47:47 Do you know this? I'm Jewish. We've tried them talking at the same time. I'm ready to try something else because the same time thing was terrible. When you give too much power to moderators, you just get whatever they want to happen up there, which is going to be. It's clocks.
Starting point is 00:48:04 I don't know why you think the moderators have all this power they do time to responses and then the mics cut off often you don't get enough time to respond in a real way they'll be like oh talk about how you're acting like the mods are determining when the mics cut off they do the clock does sometimes to me it feels like ufc moderator time limit where where where there are teams agreed to the time limit months ago. I, but it's just stupid. Like there's no way to actually have a meaningful discussion.
Starting point is 00:48:31 Like if we tried to solve any issue, even a tech issue in like a 90 second back and forth response, no one is coming out of that with more knowledge or insight than they went into it. Like it's, it's just, okay, it's your turn to say whatever speaking points you were told by your
Starting point is 00:48:46 handlers to say. Interesting. Very interesting. Now you say that. And so the time limit is almost a way to shut down any sort of actually engaging in genuine discourse because it's just going, you know, point to point to point to point and nothing gets solved or discovered.
Starting point is 00:49:04 I just have less trust in the in each side of the politicians to make their points quickly and not just filibuster i'd put them in bubbles i'd put them in bubbles like a fucking game show that i would put them in bubbles with cones of silence i don't even want to be able to hear you yell loud enough to make his microphone pick up or some shit. I genuinely want them to be silenced and have exact amount of times. That's how you would do it if you wanted to get. I'm in the middle.
Starting point is 00:49:38 I like what they're doing, which is you kind of embarrass yourself if you try to talk when it's not your turn. I hear you mumbling. I can barely make it out. You sound like a frustrated old man. Go ahead. And then the person who is able to wait for his turn looks better. each other a bit that's good that's more compelling and interesting like seeing two people rattle off whatever their you know pledges page on their donor site is is not interesting we tried that trump lost i thought like in my eyes trump seemed kind of alpha but everybody hated him he came off like an asshole and he crashed in the polls and lost the race that's what i mean 2020 yeah i mean
Starting point is 00:50:22 that's that's a little harsh and revisionist like a lot of it's a little maybe I pumped it up a little but that is what happened people thought he was an asshole well apparently everyone agrees he lost referencing a New York Times post poll right that was like D plus 20 or some shit like the same
Starting point is 00:50:39 way the Fox News poll shows Oh our guy one isn't this crazy like no I'm referencing like what happened in the combination of polls the legit ones like the 538 who put them all together the real clear politics the race to the white house.com all those people who look at the different polls and aggregate them to try to get a more accurate one you look after that first debate trumped it poorly all right do we have you mr mr yeah i was like fuck it i'm taking the airpods out i'm gonna go get the mic and everything yeah much better
Starting point is 00:51:14 yeah see we need your smiling face in these trying political times oh yeah we were just solving all of america's issues yes yes we were talking about the debate format we were going back and forth on uh whether they should be able to interrupt and scream over each other or be muted when it's not their turn i'm in favor of yelling and screaming and fighting and a little bit of organic panache from our elected officials and woody's like no i want it to be gay and boring and slow is it boring to cut the mic i think that's i feel like all of those guys just want to everybody oh my god you're getting it you just got to be one over here these are the things i said don't cut his mic actually i love it i love it dude that'd be so funny if every time a guest
Starting point is 00:52:00 comes on and like they say something we disagree with like that caught his mic because harry pot Potter is not better than Lord of the Rings and I won't hear it. We should probably. Better and more profitable. Politics talk is the true hero's tale. I appreciate the listeners for sticking around as long as they did. Oh, no, that was fun. We talked about
Starting point is 00:52:17 Dr. Disrespect at length in the beginning of the show. Dr. Disrespect is his new name. It's not really off the tongue. I'm going to let you know. Yeah, that's a little bit of Ron DeSanctimonious. We got to go back to the drawing board. So it's a winning strategy. Dr. Disrespect.
Starting point is 00:52:34 No, you do Dr. Disrespect Pediatric Medicine. That's the one. You like that one? I like that one. Oh, so much more. I don't even know what you're saying. Are you a driver of Dr. Disrespect? Kid Inspect.
Starting point is 00:52:45 Dr. Kid Inspect. You can pretend you don't hear it, but you know it. I don't know know what you're saying. Are you a neighbor of Dr. Disrespect's action? Kid inspect. Dr. Kid inspect. You can pretend you don't hear it, but you know it. I don't know much about the story. I just saw one line scrolling the other day, and I'm just... He was sexting with a minor, and he tried to meet up with this minor at TwitchCon. Yeah. And he's also... He also ripped off...
Starting point is 00:53:02 Like 17-year-old minor or like 11-year-old minor? No, they don't know the age. We don't know. Some of his apologists have said 17. How old is he? I'm not one of the apologists. It's what the article said. He's in his 40s.
Starting point is 00:53:13 What article said that? The Twitch guy who came forward. I could have sworn... That fake email that was on the anonymous account that he deleted 12 hours later? I don't know what that is. But I'm talking about like the guy who came forward and like was the initial whistleblower. I thought he said the number 17. I could have sworn.
Starting point is 00:53:33 So I've been saying 17 the whole time. I thought that as bad as that is, it's hard to make that too funny. I mean, you can do it. We did. We just did. But the really funny one is is this trans sex worker helped him get off yeah yeah the trans sex worker that he was sexting with and and he was he was he was making her give him free sex shows in exchange for promises of twitch
Starting point is 00:53:57 partnership help how many did he bilk out how many free sex shows did he get before? Well, tweet at her. There's her Twitter. If you scroll down, her cans are bigger than your fucking head, Taylor. Oh, that's going to be a dangerous gambit. Those are going to pop. It's going to get wild soon. I didn't even click on it yet. Real soon.
Starting point is 00:54:18 So this person's now going in on the old doc who only did something reprehensible. world on the old doc who only did something reprehensible all he did was the worst thing you can imagine and everyone's just piling on everyone's mad because he's a chomo dude you know what blew over you know what's gonna blow over faster than this that one politician who's like yeah and i'll kill another dog. Do you remember that? I don't even remember her name. Remember when Trump was like, the wildest guy 10 feet taller. Like, what if she was like, I just killed another dog. Keep it up, motherfuckers.
Starting point is 00:54:54 Was that Christine Nomski or something? Yeah, you remember that? Yeah. It's a bad look. Do you still, like, program, Woody? No. No? I haven't done it.
Starting point is 00:55:03 Not in anything serious. Do you keep up in the world of things going on like hacks and stuff like that? I don't think so. Why? What do you got? Because the whole sexting thing, I feel like there's about to be a lot of dirty laundry aired out. lot of dirty laundry aired out. Not quite client-side scanning, but over the last five years or so, the local AI system, machine learning, and photos and everything else has become way more sophisticated. And I think we're really, really close to people being able to use either agents or whatever to target people's
Starting point is 00:55:48 iMessages, Instagrams, and everything else and just scrape everything. Like this one kid has this brilliant hack. I forget his name. I feel so bad not being able to remember, but it's called Copy Waste. And so essentially what it would do is anytime you copy and paste something on your device be it your laptop or whatever it would take in it would upload whatever it is to a discord server and so essentially everything's backed up in archive so there's there's going to be ways to sort all this information that people have historically had, be it text messages, sex and stuff like that. And I feel like a lot more questionable people out there are going to get hung out to dry really soon. If it gets out how often I paste poorly spelled words into Google to fix it, I'm going to be very embarrassed.
Starting point is 00:56:42 I'd start Googling my life right now. I didn't know which gear to use. I'm in balloon. How many life right now how many l's how many o's nobody knows that like like if every sex from every select like a a-list celebrity dropped or whatever like it would just i feel like be a flood effect where you couldn't even draw attention to all there would be so much and there would be people within that who are saying, this is clearly AI. I never did this. And then it's going to be people like, oh, man, well,
Starting point is 00:57:11 do we believe the copy waste guy, or do we believe Brad Pitt's PR team? Whoever it is, someone big. Oh, not Brad. Or a politician. How long until a politician, they find them like, hey, here's a video of you hula dancing and then engaging in some untoward behavior on epstein island and they're like no look at how many fingers i have okay well it's the right number of fingers laptop like how do you top that all right well all right well let's not act like that was some sophisticated fucking wiki leak
Starting point is 00:57:38 shit that was just some guys like at the store yes i'm owed 70 by this man and he didn't pay me so go fuck yourself imagine reporting yourself doing every awful crime you can think of basically except for hurting people and then being like man my crime laptop isn't working just sir would you handle my crime laptop for me please i'll never be back to get it. Where did my crime laptop end up? Oh, well, let's just get another one. Gotta get back to crime. He tapes the username password on the
Starting point is 00:58:14 keyboard. Is that far true? That would be funny. He probably gave the guy the password. The guy was there to fix his laptop. He'd probably need such a thing. What were you going to say who was most likely? I was going to fix his laptop he'd probably need such a thing what were you gonna say who was most likely i was gonna say like which celebrities do you think would be the biggest falls from grace because like there's some nice guy nice guys out there i'll tell you i can't imagine keanu reeves being other anything other than like the nicest man in the world when i read
Starting point is 00:58:39 little quotes from him or when i see hidden camera footage of him like on a subway or walking down a street or just interactions with fans or just, you know, occasionally you'll see that story was like 18 years ago. I bumped into Keanu Reeves on the street. I was drenching. I was drenched from the rain. He gave me his umbrella and said, weather's nice today and skipped off onto a rainbow.
Starting point is 00:59:02 And I'm like, holy shit, that's true. I believe that. So I just believe the best about him and i would refuse to believe anything bad like if bad shit came out about keanu i'd be like they're trying to take down a good man one guy who i really like who i think might not be as perfect as i project onto him chris pratt i think chris pratt look you know why he went through a divorce. Who goes through a divorce without saying something mean or regrettable during that process?
Starting point is 00:59:32 Really? Someone who's nice. I'm alone on this island? I bet he called his wife a name along the way. I bet he- That's some minor league shit. He curses? Yeah. Well, you know-
Starting point is 00:59:42 Oh, I see. You're talking about if his text messages got leaked. Yeah. If his communications leaked, if all of a sudden we knew all of his dirt, he'd come off like an asshole and he currently comes off like a saint. No, I'm thinking like Epstein level. So you may not know this. He is hated by a huge branch of the world. But they're stupid.
Starting point is 01:00:03 Did they just hate him because he's Christian? Yeah, basically. huge branch of the world but they're stupid do they just hate him because he's christian yeah basically well the light christianity and the hunting and and sort of the i not being gay they just really hate that you know like if he just stuck one penis he could get back in good graces but he won't do it he won't do it do they know he won't do it he's a man of principle he won't suck a dick he's no i i think that i i don't think anything he seems like a simple man if i'm being honest like like that i bet that guy drinks cheap beer um shout out chris pratt friend of the show yeah absolutely always um i i think it's entertainers who are like in the music industry i think that's where the real nasty motherfuckers are like i think that that well i mean we just saw the the pditty stuff but i think that's where the real nasty motherfuckers are like i think that
Starting point is 01:00:45 that well i mean we just saw the the p diddy stuff but i think it's lots of lots of people in hip-hop um like every one of those rock bands back when rock existed like there is no rock now i don't think rock and roll really is a thing anymore not, not by my definition or most people's. Um, but like the OGs of rock, like, uh, like everybody, I don't know. All of those people were with underage girls.
Starting point is 01:01:12 Some of them wrote books about it. All of those people. Yeah. Um, I don't want to throw him under the bus. Uh, lots of, lots of people wrote songs about it.
Starting point is 01:01:22 They did. They had ready access to these really young fans. And I don't know. I don't think we were IDing like we do today back then for some reason. Probably not. I blame the parents. You need strong parents. And also the pedophiles.
Starting point is 01:01:38 And also the pedophiles. The number one, the parents. So true. Who sent them, paid their way to the pedophile concert? These pedophiles are like the scorpion in the scorpion and the frog parable. Thank you, Taylor. You knew who I was before you saw me
Starting point is 01:01:56 put on a fucking mustache and wig. Trump should have used that defense with sexual assault. I'm sorry, do you guys not like pussy? I was under the impression we all like it. What are you, a gay guy? Like, that's... He'd take that angle of it.
Starting point is 01:02:13 He'd be like, no, no, I like pussy. And I think that, like, a lot of the good girl, like, celebrities are way more catty than they seem. I bet Taylor Swift's an awful person. I bet she's shitting on other lady performers. Although, I really do think that one Taylor Swift hate subreddit is getting
Starting point is 01:02:32 into my head, the Travis and Taylor subreddit. It's recommended to me continuously. What are you doing? I never go to it! I'm scrolling! I'm scrolling! It happens to me too. I'm seeing all this Travis and Taylor content. I'm not even subscribed to the Dr. Disrespect subreddit.
Starting point is 01:02:47 And I never miss a post at this point because Reddit's figured out that I can't not click on this stuff. I'm going to click it. But the Travis and Taylor stuff, it seems petty to me. They found her sing poorly one time from like nine years ago. one time from like nine years ago and there or like i guess there's a recording from high school where she says she was unpopular and bullied but she kind of looked like everyone was kissing her ass in this video i know i think she had said talked about being unpopular later in life and like she'd written songs like oh this is inspired by how horrible i was treated in high school and then they show this clip of her in high school as a country music star by the way
Starting point is 01:03:25 she's Taylor Swift she was Taylor Swift in high school and everybody's just like there's a celebrity at our school who brought a fucking camera crew it's a party for Taylor her father was an important person in Nashville Taylor Swift
Starting point is 01:03:41 she had a leg up to get her career started but she is I think she's the most successful music artist the planet's had so far. She spent more weeks at the Billboard number one than anybody else ever has. Yeah, I don't know the metrics too well. It's one of those things I feel like where they're like, yeah, but this person sold this many albums or this person made this much gross money. I don't know she seems
Starting point is 01:04:06 to be one of the hottest tickets in the world right now and i see those sold out concerts and it's absurd i see that boring they're acting like no one really likes her on that travis and taylor subreddit and then i saw her at wembley stadium and they were cheering for her so much it like registered on the richter scale she's like oh my god the ground is shaking um let's not pretend she's not popular right now no one's just ready here travis and trailer pretends that it's all americans flying over uh that they're the only people who want to see oh yeah you'll see some dumb posts on there i saw one where like she's like hugging she's meeting like a sick dying fan or something back and it seemed seemingly backstage but she's wearing her
Starting point is 01:04:46 costume. She does a bunch of costume changes. It's basically like a single-piece bathing suit covered with sequins and tassels and shit. And they're like, she couldn't put on anything more appropriate before she took a picture with a dying fan. I'm like, what are you talking about? I would want her in her
Starting point is 01:05:02 fucking cool-ass outfit that probably cost $8,000. They could be petty and shitty. about she's i would want her in her fucking cool ass outfit that probably cost eight thousand dollars like like they could be petty and shitty i more zone in on like when they catch her lip syncing at like every performance and also she seems to get she's to be fair we're all human beings you know it could be humid where she is but she's like blowing these big snot boogers into her hand and sort of trying to like drip flick them away. Wow, casting a lot of first stones here, man.
Starting point is 01:05:29 You've never had to blow your nose and there's nothing handy. I wish she'd commit though and do a snot rocket. Just like get some I was with Taylor now, I'm back with Kyle. Close it right in her face. That would be sick if she had a, you know, if she's going to need to do that every night, like have that be a punctuation one of her songs as a pro football player i bet he can
Starting point is 01:05:49 one of their theories is that their whole relationship is fake and and i also see people who think that she's uh she's a trans woman and and uh that's crazy you know i see all that and i know that that's silly goofiness but then again when i see, I liked Dave Grohl calling her out the other day, you know, David, I was like, we're going to be here, uh,
Starting point is 01:06:08 playing live for you. Unlike some people. Yeah. Uh, Hey, I, I don't want to piss off the Swifties or anything, but,
Starting point is 01:06:16 uh, this is on. He said that he was doing the errors tour. Unlike the errors tour, which is what hers is called.-R-A-S. And he's like, this one will be live. Now, I didn't realize that I guess the Swifties
Starting point is 01:06:32 attacked his kid. Not Taylor, but her fans attacked his kid. So he attacked Taylor and I don't have enough details to figure out who's right. I do. So Dave Grohl's daughter went after... Tell me about the Cimmerillion for the 15th time!
Starting point is 01:06:49 I've never gone deep on the Cimmerillion, and you know it. Tell me what says Booth Frodo would have worn in modern times. Or what does non-Stylerian do? All right, so Dave Grohl's daughter criticized Taylor Swift's private jet use. And so that was the crux of the whole nonsense celebrity girl issue. I just enjoy that subreddit.
Starting point is 01:07:14 I like seeing that nobody's perfect. I guess I enjoyed seeing her blow those snot rockets. Then they'll show an angle that shows that she just has the flattest ass of all time. It's like, I got a better ass than you. What are you doing? This is so petty. my ass is way too flat i try i wonder where she does stack up though because there's so many more artists and ways to consume stuff like digital downloads
Starting point is 01:07:38 yeah and so i wonder where she stacks up against michael jackson the beatles garth brooks i don't i do too it's really hard to measure across elvis pre-internet right like against michael jackson the beatles garth brooks uh i don't think i do too it's really hard to measure across elvis pre-internet right like when michael jackson did all you could do is uh um buy his album that's how you knew how popular he was but no one buys albums anymore they stream so what do you do listen to her plays versus jackson's plays that i don't know how to compare i'm just talking like talent was like-wise, Michael Jackson's a generational fucking talent. I thought we were talking about popularity. Michael Jackson was so talented, he got away with it.
Starting point is 01:08:14 There's your answer right now. I promise you, I was going to say if Taylor Swift started banging 17-year-olds, but she already did that when she was 22. Hey, that kid was cute. Both of them? She had two 17-year-old boyfriends. She liked them.
Starting point is 01:08:28 She'd start dressing just like them, too. Traps and Taylor's subreddit, man. It really poisoned my heart against this one. These are the biggest fucking losers. There's so many people on here. And they'll be like... They're posting individual screenshots of Taylorlor swift fans being mean
Starting point is 01:08:47 and being like this is why we can't support this horrible woman and it's like you're a bitch and a loser you know he's got 40 accounts that he uses like huge there's huge posts on here that are like uh i'm a i'm a French Gen Z girl, and I just wanted to let everyone know that Taylor Swift isn't even famous in France. It's like, bitch, you're French posting about Taylor Swift on a niche subreddit about her. You fucking idiot.
Starting point is 01:09:14 I have never been more indifferent to someone than I am to Taylor Swift. I can't name a song of hers. I guarantee I've heard many because I live in the world, but like... Shake it off? She seems so boring. I don't know heard many because I live in the world. Shake it off? I don't know that song. I don't know that.
Starting point is 01:09:28 I know the song that was in that Call of Duty montage from HQ Fighter back in the day called the Swiftage. Let me tell you what really pissed me off. I went on there the other day. Last week, I wanted to watch the Swiftage again. It's been 15 years. So what? I want to see some Taylor Swift poppy music with some what is now subpar
Starting point is 01:09:45 Call of Duty gameplay. They had claimed the audio on the man's video. God damn it. It was like, you were 13 when I first saw you. The playback starts and the music starts and here we go. I got to be careful. I can sing better than that.
Starting point is 01:10:01 I hate when they do that. They take and they pull after the license runs out after a year. though. I got to be careful. I could sing better than that. I hate when they do that. Some of the best commercials, they take and they pull after the license runs out after a year. Yeti has one 1,000 miles or something like that. I forget. They pulled it after a year. Nike has some of the best one like ACDC,
Starting point is 01:10:22 Awake with the alarm clock. Man, so many good ones yeah i i see from that chart zach threw up it's it's it's pretty comparable you know i couldn't see a date on it but i mean if we all know that if there were a talent show and taylor swift and michael jackson were competing in front of a group of aliens who appreciated our culture despite their alien nature but had no knowledge of the two individuals michael jackson would run away with the motherfucker because he'd be moonwalking up there and they would think he was a ghoul or a goblin they'd be like he looks like us holy shit this is the lost star child i'm with you kyle michael jackson might be better at singing and dancing. Dancing and... We haven't gone head-to-head on fucking children yet.
Starting point is 01:11:06 They both compete in this arena. Yeah, confident. But we don't know who's better. Confident. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't be spending any more time here, guys. This is truly staring into the abyss. I don't go there, Taylor.
Starting point is 01:11:21 You misunderstand. See, when you go there and start scrolling... Yeah, but if you're browsing, patterns are so embarrassing that it's directing you here... See, you say that, but Reddit's the algorithm. It's not our fault. Reddit's probably the
Starting point is 01:11:35 fourth biggest site on the goddamn internet, and it's got the stupidest, worst algorithm in existence. It thinks I'm Indian, and I care about their politics. I get more Modi shit. I find, I hear about every Bangladeshi rape that
Starting point is 01:11:51 happens. And let me tell you, Taylor. That I'm mad at you. It's like, it's ridiculous. And I'm like, how is this? And I'll go to the Reddit and I'll mute it and block it. And the next day, here we go. Bangladesh, you fucking gang rape.
Starting point is 01:12:10 Seven, seven, 17 victims. The accuser was blinded with acid. All charges dropped. Justice in India. It's like, it's always something horrific too. Never hear any good stories. I know we've got no Indian fans, so I can say this. Terrible country.
Starting point is 01:12:28 What are y'all doing over there? What are y'all doing over there? I wouldn't want to go. If you said, hey, you can go to India free. It's high on my list. I wouldn't go to India. There's so many better countries.
Starting point is 01:12:41 I don't want to go to the good countries. You want to go to the bad countries? If Woody doesn't get malaria or something, he's not happy. I want a country that's very different than mine. Japan is cool. It's a good country, but it's very different. England, Australia,
Starting point is 01:12:57 I don't feel like I'd go there and be culturally blown away. This is the same culture I come from. But India, Brazil, Nicaragua, these are places different than here. That's where I want to go. Can I tell you my vacation strategy or at least one I've envisioned? I haven't employed it. For India?
Starting point is 01:13:13 For anywhere that you want to go globally. Exactly. Anywhere you want to go globally that's a little bit out of the way. I have this theory and I've checked it out and it works that whenever some bad shit is happening in an area, all the prices go down for like rental rooms, Airbnb, stuff like that. Now, Airbnb has become a joke. So I don't even know what site you'd use these days to not have.
Starting point is 01:13:35 The room will be $200 a night and then there'll be $800 worth of fees. Like, I don't know how you avoid that. that but back before that was the thing whenever like the north koreans would stop start lobbing missiles over mainland japan if you looked at seoul if you look at south korean you know vacation spots or japanese especially like if it went over like that northern island or whatever go to the northern island and look for a place to nobody's wanting to go there because a missile fell in the ocean 50 nautical miles away yesterday um there's been a bunch of them i think there was oh whenever mad cow crops up somewhere people act like it's the plague and they're gonna be out in the field catching birds flew jump to cows go wherever that happened yeah
Starting point is 01:14:15 that i think that's minnesota you don't go there oh no i take it back yeah that's what are you gonna do fuck that i heard a lot of people people going to Japan lately because the yen's just been destroyed against the dollar. And some guys have gone on vacations there for a couple of weeks for a couple hundred bucks. See, I would go to Japan. Japan seems awesome. And see, I'm not a big ski, snowboard guy, but some people were saying that they could fly out to Japan
Starting point is 01:14:42 for two weeks for the same price that they could to Breckenridge or something for a weekend. Damn. Are there any countries that if you were given a free trip there, Richard, you'd be like... I like to eat. I like to eat, so I don't care. In India? Doesn't matter. Like Spain, just to eat.
Starting point is 01:15:01 Okay, okay, okay. I don't care about history. I see how to win this game. I don't care about architecture. Ethiopia? Dude, coffee. Fuck yeah. Game on.
Starting point is 01:15:09 Just a coffee on an empty stomach for a week? Ethiopia is the mecca. There's quite literally thousands of strains of species, varieties of coffee. Ethiopia is the good part of Africa. I saw one of those old-timey racial maps. There was this old-timey racial map making its rounds on Reddit, and they had pictures of the Slav race.
Starting point is 01:15:30 Oh, those are funny. And then they got down to the Ethiopian, and the deal was that Ethiopian... Europeans found Ethiopian so successful that they wanted to separate them slightly from not Caucasian, but not Black either, and so there's this sort of in-between category over there.
Starting point is 01:15:45 In a limbo. Yeah. Ethiopia? Okay. In my childhood, that was the place with no food. Show us an Ethiopian face, Zach. Who would show these kids with distended stomachs and bugs in their eyeballs. Was that Ethiopia?
Starting point is 01:15:58 Yeah. I don't know where Kyle's getting it that Ethiopia is like booming. Nigeria is booming, I think. I think they're killing it. Nigeria is one of those countries where it's like, check out this billionaire. Don't look. Don't look over the fence. Don't don't look at that. A horrid favela that spreads over.
Starting point is 01:16:17 Brazil goes that way, too. Somalia has got to be like the one you'd want to stay out of. I was going to say Somalia, you know, the whole Mogadishu thing. Whatever they're calling the Congo these days. Look at those hot... Just a beautiful... Wait, that lady in the bottom middle is Somali. So I know that I've been
Starting point is 01:16:35 fake news to her. No, I don't know. She's like a Minnesota politician, but she's not Ethiopian. She's Somali. Looking at just the adult women, which one gives the best blowjob? What is wrong with you? Why would you limit yourself to just the adults?
Starting point is 01:16:53 Alright, doctors. I saw that one on the top right. I wonder what she can do. On the top right, that looks awful. That looks so uncomfortable. You know that wasn't... On the top right, that looks awful. That looks so uncomfortable. You know that was months of being uncomfortable and ruining it.
Starting point is 01:17:12 What are we doing right now? I think we're talking about gum jobs. It's going through the slides. What are we doing right now? Yeah. He was about to bring up a picture of one of those women with extra super long necks. Something like that. All right, that's fucking cool. All right, now I wish something like that would hurt. That'd be terrible.
Starting point is 01:17:28 How do you know it hurts? I bet it feels good. It doesn't feel good. Those ancient body modifications where they would elongate the skull with the wrappings. I wish that'd make a comeback. That's a fucking cool look. You know what I'm glad is gone?
Starting point is 01:17:43 I don't like the Japanese women that smush their feet. That's Chinese. Is that Chinese? Yeah. They don't do that anymore. They haven't. Super yucky to me. I think that's been out of fashion for like 80 years or so. Yeah. I'm old. Some guy. Knowing
Starting point is 01:17:59 China, there's some guy who comes from a long family of tiny cobblers and their thousand year old family business is ruined. All these newfangled progressive ruin my business. Zach, show us a Chinese woman with bound feet. Yeah, it's gross. They're all folded in on themselves. They're all folded in on themselves.
Starting point is 01:18:24 It cripples them themselves it cripples them but they do have those you know they look dainty in those shoes I guess do you think they you know they fetishize that tiny foot clearly as a society even do you think they did weird shit with it like you think your husband you think the whole thing is like you
Starting point is 01:18:40 gotta be able to fit your whole foot in your husband's mouth look at that that's horrific. That's so yucky. They just walk on their pinky toes like that. I'll fold it up if they can walk. She looks like she's been walking, but it hasn't done her well.
Starting point is 01:18:57 That's not attractive to me. Yeah, but you're not an 1850s Chinaman. For all my kinks, I'm not into feet. It's not my thing. Yeah, no, feet are for walking. Yeah, but you don't want them to be big old horse cloppers on the lady, do you? Like Peggy Hill, she's got those size 16s or whatever.
Starting point is 01:19:19 You wouldn't want that. I hear you, but that's like the 91st most important thing to me. Could it be a deal breaker? No. What if her feet, what if she literally has my feet? Are you hitting on me right now? No, no, no. She literally has my feet, my hairy feet.
Starting point is 01:19:38 You know what? I'm in. Yeah, I'm in. Dream satisfied. Holy shit. My big toe has like a Hitler mustache on it. I got a couple of those. Do you ever wear stocks that are really tight and then you take them off at the end of the day?
Starting point is 01:19:54 And usually it's just the leg hair that folds back and you're like, oh, that kind of feels nice. But sometimes the toe hair also. My whole foot. My whole foot is hairy. I trim my feet with with a beard trimmer. You're a disgusting, hairy animal. Do the back of your calves go bald in the winter from wearing pants? They're bald anyway. I'm hairless everywhere else.
Starting point is 01:20:13 It's just my feet. I wear pants all the time. I'll notice my jeans rubbing my shin hair off. It's on the back for me, where my calves are. They get bald. I can tell that I'm gaining weight if I'm losing too much hair on the front of my leg. That's the first fucking...
Starting point is 01:20:35 No. The first kind is denial where you're like, these pants have always been super tight. Oh man, the dryer must have been too hot. You guys gone through the... That damn hot dryer! I have a different sequence. For me, it's about striking distance.
Starting point is 01:20:52 Like, oh, 205? Yeah, that's only five. Like... I gain and lose that every day, right? It could be nothing. That's how I deny it. 210? I gain and lose that from 205 which is a clerical error effectively every day striking distance of striking distance really yeah and before you ever get on the scale like a kid looking under his bed
Starting point is 01:21:16 at night like trying to to to look over your belly no is that what you're doing no you're terrified i don't want to get on their bed i don't understand oh yeah i know i'm gonna be fat when i like get on the scale and i'm like in my head like everything's fixable everything's do you give yourself a do you guess a number and then yes if you're below it you're like good but if it's above it you're like fuck what's that number what's that number for you well it depends right like if you're way higher than i think i am and so when i get on i can be like it's not that bad i'll be like oh man i'm so fat i probably weighed 240 right now and then get on the scale and it's obviously not that and then be like oh see it's not that. And then be like, oh, see, it's not that bad. Everything's fine. Where's my brisket?
Starting point is 01:22:06 That would be great if somebody tampered with your scale just to fuck with you. That would not be great. That would hurt my feelings. It'd be like setting a clock forward to make sure you're always on time. Yeah. And it's always like I always have the feeling after I weigh myself and I've gotten fat of obviously guilt. And in your head, you want to be like, this can't be true. But really, it's like, how could this be?
Starting point is 01:22:32 I've been doing whatever I want with my diet. Had Oreos delivered to my house because I was sad. Weight never gets me it's just like if i'm sitting on the toilet if i'm sitting on the toilet and i see the the crease of my stomach onto my leg or something i'm like oh dude come on that's gross yes that's a good early sign i'll do that thing yeah where i look at myself in the mirror shirtless like before after a shower and i like lean with my torso side to side to see when a crease begins in my side. Because
Starting point is 01:23:09 if you're going like this, just a teeny little tilt, and you've got a fat crease, it's like, oh my this is bad news. But if you can get all the way to the side and you're like, oh, that's a crease from the natural structure of body and skin. You're like, okay, I'm more in the clear. Being
Starting point is 01:23:26 fat sucks. But getting fat rules. That's one of God's great tests. I'll be honest, I like the losing weight process. I like turning my body into, not necessarily a
Starting point is 01:23:42 chemistry set, that is part of it, but also a bit of a science experiment you know it's it's almost like having an ant farm and watching it do its thing but you're you gamify it and it's it's really it can it can keep you motivated and make it really fun because it's when you i like to do things like 100 like at the end really see what i want to squeeze those half of a percentile out on eight different categories and be at 105% where no man has gone
Starting point is 01:24:10 before type shit while being healthy. When I'm losing weight, I'll turn the AC in my house way down because I know I'll shiver a little bit and I'll get cold. I'll burn calories that way. I'll take those hour-long hot baths that burn. I read somewhere they burn as much as like an hour long walk. And people be like, why don't you walk an
Starting point is 01:24:30 hour? I already walked one hour. I didn't want to walk two. So I sat in a bath for the second hour and it burns as many calories as the walk. Just anything, anything. Yeah. I mean, once you're on the path of losing weight and getting fitter and you can see the first like 5% improvement physically, then it gets addicting and it's fun. It's like when you're hitting your workouts every time and you start to just your muscles are always popping like you feel good. The thing that will make you quit and give up is not being able to have results that you can hold in your hand. Like you need to be able to see the result it needs to be physical it can't just be like i guess i'm looking a little bit no it's fucking the same
Starting point is 01:25:10 thing you know like if you can't see it you need to be able to quantify it somehow if you can quantify it then you can keep motivated or at least i can when you do that what are you doing are you are you are you just whole 30 are you like trying to cut? What is that thing for you that you gave up? It depends what I'm doing. When I'm bulking and trying to get big, it was getting the exact amount of calories at the exact split I wanted doing the vertical diet. My whole day was built around fitness, and my whole night was built around it too. my whole day was built around fitness and my whole night was built around it too. Like I,
Starting point is 01:25:46 my plans would never mess up a workout or a meal. I try, if I traveled, the meals would be in my trunk. You know what I mean? Like, um, and I would,
Starting point is 01:25:55 I would, when I would go see my dad, I'd bring ingredients to cook. I'd cook. I'm like, you're eating what I eat. You know, like there's no way,
Starting point is 01:26:02 there's no way you're going to eat what you want to eat. Like my, I didn't have... I don't think I had a girlfriend right then for some of that. I didn't have anybody around me with bad habits either. Nothing came into my household that I didn't personally purchase at the store.
Starting point is 01:26:21 I see people like, oh, you go to the store and you go... No. I would go to the store and I see people like oh you go to the store and you go get this and no I would go to the store and I would be so disciplined the discipline was the big part I'd also kind of made I don't think Derek took it as seriously when I said it but I like I kind of made a vow to Derek I was like I'm about to show my ass like watch me like I'm gonna do something here and and I I when I would want to quit i'd be like can't let derrick down can't let derrick down he's expecting something out of me and you know meanwhile derrick's like i don't care
Starting point is 01:26:51 it's like i'm building the largest subliming company in north america yeah i keep lifting champ to be fair like like it's not as funny but derrick really was hands-on with that whole thing and super cool like he would be what we would talk uh my the whole like body transformation where files kyle's fitness journey right you saw that the pictures i mean i saw freaking jacked he was like yeah that's what he's talking about yeah that was a whole program i did that in 10 months oh i didn't realize that i thought it was like hey this is I mean, I saw how freaking jacked he was. Yeah, that's what he's talking about. Yeah, that was a whole program. I did that in 10 months. Oh, I didn't realize that.
Starting point is 01:27:28 I thought, hey, this is my new thing. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it was. But working with Derek, he would send me these 10-minute long voice notes of every little thing to dial in, from the blood work to the supplements. notes of like every little thing to dial in, you know, from the blood work to the supplements. Dude, if the person I loved the most in the world or that was the biggest fan of, like if the blues head coach left me a 10 minute long voicemail, I'd be like, Oh no, man. No, I'd be sitting there like fucking dialed in.
Starting point is 01:28:07 Like he's dictating the Bible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he's such an expert. When you talk to someone who's a genuine expert about something, it's a good idea to smarten up and listen, you know, because you're absorbing years of experience and hundreds of thousands of dollars in education sometimes for free. So you should really open your ears. And so I tried to i i like i know i'm not a uh um like a health and fitness expert like i couldn't diagnose someone who's got their own issue and guide them through a fitness journey
Starting point is 01:28:35 but i know how to do it to me now and i know how to do it to like i don't know a 35 any any mid 30s man i guess now you know like it's uh he's an absolute expert and it was it was fun to have him be that hands-on and then the other side of it was the cutting you know because i i bulked for 10 months and then i cut it i cut weight for two and that cut was so meticulous and careful were you just dehydrating or what were you doing no i was slowly lowering my calories while doing um more and more cardio every day um and and following a very um precise weight cut um why did lose why why cut um to look good for the pictures oh okay that makes sense okay yeah yeah and i and also the way i had told derrick i wanted it structured because that was
Starting point is 01:29:25 something he was familiar with i was like i want to do this like i'm preparing for um to go on stage essentially like i want to i want to do this like i'm preparing for a bodybuilding competition that that's what i'm trying to do here and so that's what we did you know the 10 months of bulking and then the two months of cutting as if i was going to step on stage on the last day and i kind of did you know you do blood work and all that were you like oh yeah yeah yeah yeah he's got a he's got a trt clinic so i had two or three doctors sort of working with me and him um you know monitoring blood work and all that stuff my testosterone was like 1500 uh and like february and they're like we we legally can't prescribe you
Starting point is 01:30:11 you don't need anything that's a good place to be that was funny it's like i like for me like whenever i i see that crease i have a like it's it's time to do a fast it's like the code anorexic but it's great because Cause I'll do the, um, the, I'll do like a shot of those ketones or whatever. And the first day is super easy for me. I'll eat dinner. And then by the time I get to lunch the next day, I'm already in ketosis. And then I make it to dinner and I'm like, okay, for dinner, I'm going to have, you know, element has those chocolate flavored uh salt packets i thought it was the worst tasting uh electrolytes because i'd mix it room temp or cold it tastes like
Starting point is 01:30:53 awful but hot warm it up hot water oh my god it's like no calories and so it was like i was drinking a shake for dinner so for a three- fast every night, I would look forward to that as my meal. Um, and it was so easy to do, do that. And then I would stay in ketosis for a few weeks, eating like ribeyes and, um, avocados and stuff like that. And then I would ease back into like a whole 30 diet or something like that. And usually I can drop 30 pounds in 30 days doing that. Do you go by numbers on the scale or you just get to the point where you're like, all right,
Starting point is 01:31:26 I'm looking at myself in the mirror. A little of both. Cause I'm a big guy, man. I can get like, I, if I, I love chocolate,
Starting point is 01:31:32 I fucking love chocolate. Like I'll get peanut butter cups and just, I'll go to whole foods or something. They have the, the store brand peanut butter cups. And I'm like, Oh, I'll eat that over the week.
Starting point is 01:31:42 And it's gone in the next 24 hours. And that's a talk. I thought this would take two days yeah and then i'm like oh shit i'm 235 i guess i gotta try to get back down to 205 200 and the quickest way for me to do that is just like reset maybe twice a year i'll do a three-day fast and then yeah i'll get ketosis for it and it's crazy because it's like i've never done any like recreational drugs and so i can only imagine this is what uh amphetamine or adderall or something's like because my brain is just firing on all cylinders and it's like i guess you're in a fight or flight mode and your body's just trying to figure out where the food's at and everything yeah i like i stack up i stack up so much work so that I just don't have any downtime,
Starting point is 01:32:29 and I'm so productive that week. I was fasting every, I think, Thursday or Friday, so doing a 24-hour fast on the same day every week for a while. I don't actually remember how long months of that you know during that cutting process and then like having that i would there wasn't i think there was a night where we did this show we got off at 11 and i hadn't eaten for 24 hours and i couldn't until like the next day and then i had to go run for an hour at the gym at three in the morning i liked it was funny to me because kyle would weigh in and then give his metrics to derrick and then he would determine his calories for the next week so he would like
Starting point is 01:33:12 cut every week like dehydrate to hit a number on the scale so that derrick didn't remove more calories than he otherwise would have he's like i i gotta weigh 174 by the time i weigh in tomorrow morning otherwise derrick's gonna make me 1,500 calories or something like that. Yeah, you got to hit that number. You got to hit that number he wants us to hit or I'm going to lose more calories or gain more. It would usually be either fewer calories or more cardio or both. By the end, I was doing an hour of cardio a day or maybe an hour and 15 a day and eating 2,200 calories, I think. What type of cardio? Like running or? I like the elliptical. I like the elliptical because I can turn my brain completely off
Starting point is 01:33:53 because you're kind of in a thing that doesn't require you to have form. It just does form for you. And so I can kind of turn my brain off and maybe meditate a bit, and I can just go to another place. I try to go into a daydream, like a self-induced daydream during that for as much as possible with music playing in my noise-canceling headphones and close my eyes and just let my body do it, but my mind goes somewhere else if I can. And I can make an hour feel like 30 minutes, but 30 minutes of cardio is so awful.
Starting point is 01:34:29 30 minutes of cardio is so awful. I jump rope. I can make 90 seconds feel like 10 minutes. It's like planking or something. I'll be on the exercise bike or the treadmill in my basement gym and put on King of the Hill to watch or something it's all like i'll be on the exercise bike or the treadmill in my basement gym and put on king of the hill to watch or something and five minutes in in my head i'm like oh is this like a like a movie length special they made or no just a regular episode and you're six minutes in yeah and it's not even the exhaustion it's just it's so much more boring than lifting weights because at least
Starting point is 01:35:06 with lifting weights it's like i'm gonna i got i got a bunch of stuff that's gonna happen like i'm not i'm it's not gonna be the same exercise for the entire hour long hour and a half whatever period have you seen ronda patrick talk about the norwegian um four by four? No, it sounds awful. Uh, well, so here's the thing is I hate doing monotonous cardio, like you say. Um, so what I'll do is the assault bike and the Norwegian four by four is essentially four minutes, three minutes, rest, four minutes, three minutes, rest, and you go 80% max heart rate. And so, so you're a lot. So for me, I get on the salt bike and I'm going 25, 30 miles per hour. So by the time I get down to, you know, time on each round, I'm like, I can't go anymore. And then the three minute rest hits and then I can get back on. And I've,
Starting point is 01:35:58 I found that my brain doesn't have time to get bored because I'm just struggling to stay in it. But it's not, it's not max heart rate. Right. So you're not, you're not like one minute and done. What is your max? I honestly,
Starting point is 01:36:13 I don't know. Um, I would at the end of my card, I would try to stay at like, I think one 35 is where I would treat to try to keep my heart rate for like the full hour. Like, and I, you know,
Starting point is 01:36:22 I really kept that dialed in and I would get lazy. I'm as long as my heart's doing the work that's all that matters here and uh but at the end i would try to crank it up to just as high as i could get it i would and i was like i want to get it as high as i can get it and then i would walk um laps around the gym for until my heart rate went to below whatever the level, below 115, 110, until I had actually cooled down to try to get extra calories. I would send y'all pictures. I think my heart rate would be in the 180s or something.
Starting point is 01:36:54 Really? It was like 179, maybe 180, something like that. I was younger than you, but when I was in college, my heart rate got super high, like 235, 245. Fuck! Shit! Yeah, and people didn't believe me you know because we after the like between sets the coach would ask us to call out our pulse and
Starting point is 01:37:13 you know there's always you know whatever 115 135 i'm like 240 and they're like what like yeah you measure it and then they did and they got the same thing like yeah i'll strap on that fucking chest thing it's all true i don'll strap on that fucking chest thing. It's all true. I don't know. Is that like cardiac arrest? I'm not sure what's happening here. Like 220 is the max.
Starting point is 01:37:31 You have a heart attack? I don't think I do now, but I did. Do we have Dragomir von Geldstreifen? I am Dragomir Zegoyner Gormidios von Gjelstreven, deterred at your service. I appreciate you coming on in the midst of your quest. Are you making fun of my voice? Never.
Starting point is 01:38:01 Not never would I only do that online. And never to your face. I grow tired of fake vampire accents. The accuracy is never there. Oh, it's... I've been watching some of your... The Fish Tank season two and a half is going right now, the RPG. And it is funny hearing the German fade in and out,
Starting point is 01:38:26 depending on how frustrated you are with John in the moment. Yes. He is retarded. So it's, for people who don't know, Sam and Jet doing another fish tank, this time very creative RPG in the middle of the woods. Everyone has quests, characters, classes. Creature, come here and hold my mirror, my magic mirror.
Starting point is 01:38:53 And everyone seems to really understand what role play is. Other than John. Now, do you think, is John playing too cool for school with it, or does he really not understand what he's supposed to be doing? John, he is suffering from main character syndrome. Christian, follow me! I can't believe you're not wearing your
Starting point is 01:39:21 hat. Classic hat. You have preempted my I can't believe you're not wearing your hat. Yeah. Classic hat. There it is. You have preempted my wardrobe decision. So John is getting a bit of main character syndrome. And I heard Jet yell at him earlier today to stop shit testing production. Because he's clearly... He's treating the world they're building
Starting point is 01:39:46 almost like a Skyrim thief, where he's just stealing things and trying to cause problems for the sake of it. Seemingly, is that pretty accurate? He is not taking it seriously. I'm afraid he will not be leveling up anytime soon. Ah. So are you going to let Scott... Or, I'm sorry, Cade go full force on him hopefully he's
Starting point is 01:40:08 going to kick his ass yes that would be great i was i was talking to scott and i play games all the time together and so before he went on he was like i'm getting this awesome duster looking like a badass and then he was gonna try and find a t-shirt that said like, shut up. I left my video games to be here. But the, the best he could do is the, the yeah,
Starting point is 01:40:31 no one, which seems to be catching on. I really hope that he, he gets it in with John because he let him win. It is a very funny shirt that he wears. It is. Made me laugh many times. This season...
Starting point is 01:40:47 Yeah, dot, dot, dot. No. Cage! Is Cage here? Cage! Will you come here? Show them your humorous garment. It's the funniest thing I've seen in my life. It's the funniest
Starting point is 01:41:05 thing I've seen in my life. P.K.A. would like to see your funny shirt, Cage. Will you show them? No. Look, it's solid, Cage. It seems like he is going to agree with you with your harebrained scheme,
Starting point is 01:41:23 but then it says no. It's very funny. Good luck beating John's ass later, Cage. Next time you won't go so easy on him. No, I will not. Good. See, Cage is in. He's locked into the character.
Starting point is 01:41:42 He's role-playing to his best ability at all times. This is what we appreciate. Can you guys help me catch up? I'm thinking there's listeners in my spot, too. So there's a new fish tank going on. Is it happening or are we getting ready for it? Are the participants already in? Is it live?
Starting point is 01:42:00 What's the theme? Help me catch up. You are asking me? Yes, you go ahead of course it is happening right now it is real it is 100 real there is no games there is no role playing we are We are in my ancestral home, the woods. These woods which I have called home for over 400 years, though I look, appear to be 28 years old. Me too. That fucking killed me when I saw that clip on Twitter. I may appear to be a 28-year-old man. Yes.
Starting point is 01:42:44 Clearly not. I look like I'm not a day over 28 years old. Earlier today, it was right before the show. Actually, I was watching a bit of it. Fishtank.live. Everybody go check it out there. I saw the amount of worry on Dragomir's face when Lord Fatimir, the King Fatimir, Airsoft Fatty, was given a noble steed ride, which is a dirt bike, Woody. And this noble steed had never bore 480 pounds before. Yes. It is a child's dirt bike.
Starting point is 01:43:25 A Kawasaki KX110 is meant for a small boy, but he is 400 pounds. He rode it like a champ. You did. He drove away, and you just heard the rumble fade. And for like five real-time minutes, Dragomir is like, I pray that the king is safe on his venture and he
Starting point is 01:43:49 came back covered in dirt from having fallen off multiple times the king is very durable he is a bit ramshackle in his riding he rides like a younger man with much bravado but he is durable,
Starting point is 01:44:05 I must say. Do you have a helmet? No, we don't wear helmets. This is ancient times, my friend. My bad. Ancient times. Kelsaki goes way back. There is no head protection.
Starting point is 01:44:21 When you are riding nightmare, it is just you and the speed and the wind through your hair, through your clothes, feeling the wind, the woods howling at you. No head protection.
Starting point is 01:44:36 Okay. I like it. I like the excitement. And I like how committed everyone is to the bit. This seems like the high or the world. What is it? I should have said my mistake, Lord Dragomir. I appreciate this insight into the world of your woodland realm.
Starting point is 01:45:00 I am not a lord. I am a mere duke. Oh, the duke. And we did go through this once. A lord I am a mere duke. Oh, the duke. And we did go through this once. A lord is higher than a duke. Oh, yeah. It's possible you have a higher ranking. My kingdom is small.
Starting point is 01:45:14 I have but a few children of the night to watch over. But I do my best. Of all these new individuals to inhabit your realm, who gives you the most pause, Dragomir? Aye, let me look. Aye, aye. I must say that Yon is the most annoying of all. Who is this Yon? Yon, the man with the most annoying of all. Who is this yawn? Yawn, the man with the cut-off sleeves. What is he, a paladin, a knight? I believe he is some class that does not use airsoft guns
Starting point is 01:46:02 because we do not trust him to hold them. use weapon for airsoft guns because we do not trust him to hold them yes i saw that creative workaround for the erratic retard you have in your town that he is a medic class yes good medic he has helped many people in his time we are thankful that he wields no weapons whatsoever. He merely goes around healing people. So you plan to be there every day for the next two weeks, Dragomir? I will be here every day for the next 500 years. This is my ancestral home.
Starting point is 01:46:46 This is where I live. What is the goal of this party that's wandered into your realm? Their goal is at odds with my goal. Their goal is to survive. My goal is quite so cut and dry. I aim to turn them into allies, you could say. Allies of the night. I see. There must be some mystical spirits preventing your transmission from coming in accurately. It's the werewolves. They're fucking with his internet connection.
Starting point is 01:47:36 Yeah, I bet that witch Leti is casting a spell. I have stumbled into a ruin where the spirits withhold my speech. I will return to the mansion. So you're just wandering around? Can you guys hear me? Yeah. I accidentally stumbled into the old crypt. I forgot that the spirits there were eager to cease my communication with the outside world. Now, are you as the Lord Dracula of that area?
Starting point is 01:48:22 Do you always experience these upsetting... Lord Dracula of that area? Do you always experience these upsetting... Lord Dracula. Aye. This talk of vampires, it is incessant. It is meaningless. There are no such thing as vampires, my friend. Lord Dracula is merely a myth. A children's tale.
Starting point is 01:48:43 You must see this. Are you going to beat anyone up this season, Dragomir? I hope that the need for physical violence I abhor. It makes me sick to my stomach to see
Starting point is 01:48:59 someone in pain. I hope there is no need for such things. There probably will be. Yes. At some point. Yes. Do you think that Paladin John is too high on his own supply with clear noob gains after just a small amount of time in the gym? I think Paladin John, he looks like a pumpkin. I want to cover him in oil and put him in a rotisserie chicken container.
Starting point is 01:49:32 Do you remember the guy we had on a long time ago, Kyle? John from Fishtank, the guy who's really difficult to understand at times. really difficult to understand at times he like he's clearly been doing like fucking strong lifts five by five for eight months or whatever and now he's like much bigger than he was but he's going around to everyone they're trying to big dog them oh he's dog the bounty hunter now like he's smaller than he's smaller than i am now He's smaller than you at your peak. But he's got that I just started benching two plates syndrome. And he's so stoked to get up in everyone's face. Good for him, man.
Starting point is 01:50:21 But because most of this questing group are functionally retarded, it's working. And he's almost alphaing people while not being able to understand what he's saying. Yeah. So really you need... When you have a speech impediment. Really? Really? He is trying. He's doing his best.
Starting point is 01:50:37 We shall see. He's not as tough as he's trying to appear. I hope Cade beats his ass, uh, at some point. Scott, or... Cage! You know, Cage. A mercenary. He is a formidable foe.
Starting point is 01:50:59 This is fucking ridiculous. So what are the plans for tonight, Dragomir? My only wish is that these creatures of the night, there are some local ruffians, bandits, if you will. They inhabit these woods. My only wish is that they maintain peace and do not bother the fair citizens of Shiti. Yes, Shiti, the town, of course, in which you reside. Yes. I have promised them that while they are under my protection,
Starting point is 01:51:37 no harm shall come to them. It is a promise I hope to keep, though I do not know if it is within my power. Are you feeling any troubles or worries over giving a couple of these people gas-powered airsoft guns? Yes. Taley pointed it in my face. I had to wrench it from her hand and throw it.
Starting point is 01:52:02 It was hissing gas out, and she went and picked it up. And I said, no! Do not do that! It may explode! They need a basic airsoft safety course. And is that coming? No. There is also no motorcycle safety course either.
Starting point is 01:52:28 No. Well, I mean, based on how well the king wrote it, I assume he'd done it before, right? There is only head injury and eye injury in the future, I see. I mean, anything that Lord... Airsoft Fatty is King Fatty-us. He is King Fatty-us. King Fatty-us.
Starting point is 01:52:49 It's Fatty-us. Oh, it's Fatty-us? Yes. My mistake. I thought we were being cruel. I wouldn't have come up with Fatty-us. We do not belittle King Fatty-us about his weight. He is a great king. There is much food at his court. Probably not for weight. He is a great king. There is much food at his court.
Starting point is 01:53:07 Probably not for long. He's a little weight. He does need to lose a little weight. He can still maintain his king body. He's actively losing weight. Oh, is he? He is, yes. Maybe a little more and we'll see it in his face.
Starting point is 01:53:22 Well, I think in a hundred pounds you'll see it in his face, yes. But he is actively invading. Good for him. He's doing his best, yes. So I saw that Goldstriker's grave is there. Are you related to him in any way? A name I have not heard in over 400 years.
Starting point is 01:53:47 Gold Striker. It sounds familiar, but I do not know for certain who that is. Okay. The fucking hat. It's so ridiculous.
Starting point is 01:54:05 Do you not wear a hat? I don't have one like that. Maybe I should. I am not envious of you, my friend. St. Louis? None of us are. No, it's a shitty city. I guess you're in almost as shitty a city as I'm from,
Starting point is 01:54:27 being shitty, the name of it. I don't understand. Your city is named shitty, right? It's shitty. Yeah. The shitty. Shitty is the envy of all towns around it. Mercantile center with many expert craftsmen and stores for you to browse. The women are healthy looking.
Starting point is 01:54:53 The men are strong and shitty. All towns within 200 mile radius are envious of shitty. Fair enough. radius are envious of Shetty. Fair enough. Do you think the eye black is giving away your true intentions to the questers?
Starting point is 01:55:17 No. That's it. No. No. I am merely a servant. all that i wish to do is be their greatest ally their greatest ally i am your greatest ally we just see your camera roll he's hypnotizing us i think think. Yeah, he probably is. We have to be wary. He probably has powers that he's not even going to divulge to us. I have no such powers.
Starting point is 01:55:52 I would not do this to you. No? Would you do it to John to calm him down? Xavier! Xavier! Come and talk to these people in my magic mirror. Kyle is so confused.
Starting point is 01:56:11 Do you have a brief moment, Xavier, to speak? Who doth thine be? Who I shall introduce myself? But of course you are far more important, for I find myself in a court of high esteem. Who might ye be? Oh, we're spiritual travelers to your wonderful land from the magic box of Dragonmere. Oh, yes, yes, sir. The Duke Dragonmere is a powerful one indeed. If I were to give you one word of advice, it would be to not tempt his blade. I am hungry insatiably for the blood of the innocent.
Starting point is 01:56:55 What brings you here, Lucy? What brings you here? Oh, we're trying to learn more about your way of life and how you're going to keep that up for two weeks. I don't know what exactly there is to keep up. I think the more pertinent question would be if everyone else can keep up with it, you see. I like that. I like your bauble full of...
Starting point is 01:57:18 It's like an ampule of liquid there. It's the blood of orphaned children that was sacrificed to me on the day of the blood moon. I still cherish it, you see. You bought that from Dr. Disrespect. One of the travelers in my room, a beautiful young pup named Taylor, gifted it to me, actually.
Starting point is 01:57:37 You're trying to win my... Frankly, I'm not interested. Not my type. Irrelevant, irrelevant. Go on. One of the young pups. I did see one of the young pups i did see one of the young pups the the one you know is the paladin yan with this the curious speech pattern he chased you with foam swords to the point you you seemed sincerely panicked ah yes well this was merely a tactic that I use sometimes. You see, if you want to taunt a brutish
Starting point is 01:58:08 paladin into overconfidence, then when their blade does not bring true, they will keep the swing and abandon it, leaving them very open for a cut. Ah, it shall be the last. Kyle, he was this, John was
Starting point is 01:58:24 doing his like, oh, gonna fucking close it me ball like running at him and and Xavier here was trying to fight back but John had tard rage and Xavier was running away and he goes Batform Batform you can't attack me anymore Batform
Starting point is 01:58:40 and it didn't stop him John did not respect Batform he continued to strike it was killing me it was so good his berserk rage renders him
Starting point is 01:58:51 truly mentally capable sometimes of comprehending the more arcane arts that I passed upon his weak mind where is this way
Starting point is 01:59:00 and that's the dumber they are the less it works I don't understand myself but I find him immune to many of my otherwise irresistible talents. It's quite curious indeed. So John is resisting your wiles by brute strength of mind.
Starting point is 01:59:16 Yes, yes, you could say something of the sort, yes. But the day of reckoning shall soon come. The day of reckoning shall soon come. I warn ye, I heed ye, that all on the next rise of the sun his duel with me shall conclude, and my blade will be soaked with blood. So are ye who wish to see his reckoning in both mind and body,
Starting point is 01:59:37 as his blood drizzles and drips from the blade of my dark fang. Use tomorrow. So, keep your eyes glued to the dark mirror in your hands, for soon I will beat the unholy one. You probably want to taste that blood to take some of its power.
Starting point is 01:59:56 Yeah, he's going to lick his blade. So you're good for the next battle, you know? Yeah. Now, now, with this warning, I bid you, for I will conquest for the heart of the beautiful Taly. I bid you farewell for now, fine gentlemen. I'm sure we will see each other soon again, if you dare. A little if you dare at the end.
Starting point is 02:00:18 Man, what a fucking weirdo. Why? Is Xavier, is he a half breed is he a a full vampire he is something more ancient and more base and crude than a vampire his power stems directly from the earthsh. You might call it prime magic. He does use blood in his dealings, but he is no vampire. I guarantee you of this. Are there any good quests on the menu for tonight?
Starting point is 02:00:57 For the game? We shall see. We had them do a foot race for $200, but... You get to use a steed? We did an airsoft target contest for 125 of your old earth dollars, which means nothing to me. I have thousands of these trinkets. They are littered all over my manse.
Starting point is 02:01:24 I burn them, the old earth dollars. I do not need them, but these people seem to want them for some reason. Man, giving out $200 for a foot race. Who won? Nobody. I kept the money.
Starting point is 02:01:44 That is one of my favorite parts of the fish tank thing is sometimes jet will be like all right fucking arm wrestling contest and then it falls apart and he's like no we're not doing that no money it is quite clever you tell them you were giving them money and then they make an ass of themselves. Just today, Jan, I told him he could have 1,000 Earth dollars, but then I decreased it to 500. With the snap of my finger, I took the money from him under his nose. He was powerless.
Starting point is 02:02:20 He was powerless against you because he's a mere mortal. Because he does not have access to checks or bank account, which I do have. Now, are all of these questers in seemingly dire need of these ancient earth dollars? They all need the money so badly. it is hard to fathom. When you are living check to check and you have a small apartment with a cat and you are on welfare and have a fucking cat for some reason, you need money. I live in a mansion.
Starting point is 02:03:02 I have nothing. And yet it gives me such pleasure to withhold the money from them. I dangle it in front of their eyes like a carrot. And they run and squeal and scream for the money. But it does not come. I mean, it seems like they need to roll a perception check. They shouldn't be getting fooled by you so easily. I am going to buy a Subaru WRX.
Starting point is 02:03:35 A noble steed. A noble steed. A rival for nightmare. Yes. If anyone hasn't watched Fish Tank season one or two, check out 2.5 at fishtank.live. It seems like the highest effort, most difficult thing you guys have pulled off yet.
Starting point is 02:03:56 You have a whole path. It's all Jet Neptune, and we got a crazy crew. The crew that has worked on this show. As a Jet Neptune, he is the director. It is his show. You should interview him as well. He is very well spoken. I know he is.
Starting point is 02:04:14 Smart guy. It would be fun to see them do a somersault race that's way longer than it should have been. Like three quarters of a mile. I think perhaps we would do that right now yeah you should make a somersault through the woods for a fucking quarter mile no not quarter miles too short that would be so much this should be abusive yeah i would like to talk to jet sometime yeah hit up hit up jet this is all him and the crew we got there they're um they've been working super hard man man. These guys are killers.
Starting point is 02:04:46 They're better than any Hollywood film crew. These guys are goaded. But yeah, have Jet on. Yeah, we will. My magic mirror is on 2% of blood. Ha ha ha! All right.
Starting point is 02:05:04 We have to do ads. Dragomir, thank you so much for joining us I really appreciate it everyone fish tank dot live check it out see what Dragomir is up to and the whole gang solving the quest of the I don't know yet but we'll figure it out well played well played thank you you know that one got better as it went We'll figure it out.
Starting point is 02:05:26 Well played. Well played. Thank you. You know, that one got better as it went. You know, there was a moment there where I was ready to pull the plug. So it was Woody,
Starting point is 02:05:35 you know, and, uh, but, but, but I had faith. I had faith and it came and it, it started with that imbecile that he put on camera. And,
Starting point is 02:05:43 and, and, uh, I really enjoyed that thoroughly. That camera and and and uh i really enjoyed that thoroughly that was fucking funny yeah i enjoyed that so i'm gonna be watching some fish tank live over the next couple weeks tracking with it like again this was like how i i talked about it season one when it came out is like it's easy to ask yourself when you watch Jersey Shore or whatever, like, oh, these are all aspiring commercial actors. These aren't like off the street people. Like they know how to behave on camera.
Starting point is 02:06:12 They're, you know, why don't they ever pick real weirdos? And watching Fish Tank, you learn rapidly why not? Because real weirdos are erratic and often dumb or angry or fly off the handle and throw things at each other in a way that borders on real aggression and so it's entertaining you never know when one of these guys is gonna have like i was so glad you were here because i can't hit it back with that well no one else knows about any of this shit like he your names well i read it it was it was written down uh but uh yeah sometimes you have to play straight man you know that was that was
Starting point is 02:06:51 great i love you like who but who won the foot race nobody i kept the money and then just the case i am going to buy a Subaru WRX four wheel drive the first time he broke character for like four and a half seconds no for real you got to have him on as soon as I found out from Chiz earlier today because I'm a fan of Fishtank and I've
Starting point is 02:07:24 watched Sam Hyde's content for so many years that anytime he wants to come on and promote whatever they're doing, I'm always like definitely do it. And it was maybe like two minutes after Chiz texted, he's like I think Sam's coming on tonight talking about Fishtank a bit. I'm like, oh sweet. Oh no.
Starting point is 02:07:40 Like he's going to be that Dracula the whole time. I'm going to have to find a way to... Dude, he's the scariest interview we do because I don't know if he's just going to be that Dracula the whole time. And I'm going to have to find a way to. Dude, he's the scariest interview we do, because I don't know if he's just going to like fuck with us the whole time. He's he's got like Bill Burr kick the interviewer's ass energy. And I don't think I could win. Oh, he's he's just a funny guy. Yes.
Starting point is 02:07:59 But he's capable. Yeah. He has a very he has a very interesting sense of humor. I really like those sketches he did back in the day. When he's sitting there, that's him, right? When the boy's fishing and he's telling him about life. Oh, my God. The idea is that he's divorced from the kid's mom.
Starting point is 02:08:18 This is his day or his weekend or something like that. He's taking him to the park to fish. He's sitting there burning cigarettes while the kid casts the reel in and out. And I'm going to tell you, all women are whores. And I do mean your mom. I do.
Starting point is 02:08:36 Don't listen to anything she says. It's like talking through a cigarette. It's just in your television. Television. This was a YouTube one. World Peace was on Adult Swim in 2016, I want to say. Never tell a woman your last name or your real
Starting point is 02:08:53 first name. Instead of going through Adult Swim, they're doing their own version of World Peace Season 2. The same sketch style comedy that like i enjoyed initially where i kind of found out about mde and sam and them and so i'm excited for that too hopefully it's very funny yeah it's there's uh the one i always say to check out if you don't know any of sam's content uh look up moms. Just million dollar extreme moms
Starting point is 02:09:26 on YouTube and it is hysterical. It's so funny. I still like the kid with the fishing rod, like whatever that shit is better because there's like multiple parts and he gets increasingly foul with this young man. Clearly they're cutting away. They've got like three angles
Starting point is 02:09:41 they're using and one of them is just him. So the kid I, just isn't there for those hearing that. They do that a lot. Whenever you're cursing at a kid saying something horrific, often it's just they cut to the cursor or whatever. But he's being so awful. It's great. I like what he's doing.
Starting point is 02:09:58 So I don't think I'm his demo for Fishtank. It's not something that I spend a lot of time on. But I like it at an entrepreneurial level. I like that he created something from nothing and now he's on season three of it and like that's the part that's neat to me yeah yeah like i like the concept of this season the most because i mean it's shorter it's only two weeks maybe two and a half two weeks i think and that's that seems like it lends itself to a much more thorough creation because like you know the start and end date are a lot closer.
Starting point is 02:10:27 You can pack it with more content. But having a bunch of contestants that have to RP, they have to role play, wearing cameras on them and cameras throughout the camp. You can click through all of them. They were in the woods last night at their camp. And it was like such a horrible hailstorm that they all just looked miserable. And all the viewers were playing sound effects at them.
Starting point is 02:10:55 And like, I guess they added a couple of new ones to like change the vibe and make it scarier. Cause there was like audio of like, like a woman who sounded like she was actually being murdered like screaming so loudly while all these contestants are trying to sleep and it's like a minute of this just and then like immediately as that ends the loudest mariachi band you've ever heard and how do they choose the sound effects is there like a bunch of you pick from or can you
Starting point is 02:11:26 just like you pick yeah you can play whatever sound i would want or you can play your own noises is um when we would go um coyote and fox hunting we'd play a rabbit distress call and a rabbit distress call my i remember my dad even saying like baby let's get out of here like if people hear that, it sounds like a woman getting raped down here or something. It sounds awful. People might call the cops on us, so we need to be aware that that could happen.
Starting point is 02:11:56 Where's the location? I don't actually know. He probably is keeping it secret on purpose. People would go there and mess with the show i hope it keeps getting bigger and his production value can increase as you go i would shitty city he told us yeah it's in shitty of course can you bring up a pill storm that's crazy uh zach bring up some photos of the set or whatever so we can if you could get if he could
Starting point is 02:12:20 get his hands on like a renfair like their or something like that, or one of those... I always thought that if you had a bunch of old single-wide trailers, like old ones that were cheap, you could assemble them in such a way to make... You ever see the movie Cube, where they're trapped in this three-dimensional... You could make Cube. And each trailer could
Starting point is 02:12:42 be its own environment with its own challenges and uh and stuff like that and uh i would like that i would watch i would like that too and i feel like single-wide trailers are cheap like maybe it's because i'm such a like an actual nerd watching them get to role play and like level up and like do their little potions and spells and whatnot and duels like in my head i'm like this looks so fun like going and and like doing something like that wouldn't that be fun you wouldn't have a fun time role playing yeah i'd rather do a stage play and just actually do a character i think then go pretend here's my problem and i hate to make this is gonna sound
Starting point is 02:13:23 judgmental and i and it is. I'm flawed. Please tell us how you wouldn't role play someone thinking you're not. Man, when I feel like when I got out there, I'd be like, alright, I'm one of the cool role players because I know it's kind of lame and I'm doing it because I enjoy this. I would have this in my head. Don't shake your head.
Starting point is 02:13:39 I'm self-describing. I'm admitting. I'd have this in my head. I'm the cool role player because I know that it's a nerdy, goofy thing to do, but I really do enjoy the aspect of escaping to a faraway land. It'll be fun, but then I'll get there and I'll see people that are
Starting point is 02:13:55 doing it for other reasons. I'll judge them and I won't want to be around them. It'll become a whole thing. I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. I watched that Ren Faire fair show i don't know what the fuck that was what we were doing i think we're looking at a guy sneak a peek at another guy's junk oh john oh oh my bad i'm dumb um yeah and that was the guy we just spoke to who had the vial of the ampule of yes blood i really wanted to get him to
Starting point is 02:14:25 drink it i thought that would have been funny what was it did you get a vibe for what it was it was some red liquid that looked thick if he's smart he used like like in the movies he used corn syrup and uh but i don't know what that was i could hold character that long like in my head i was even trying to hit it back a little like tay Taylor did now and then. And it's like, I can't do the accent and I don't know what to say. Those are the two things you need for this. I'm like, oh, the opposite of what? Can I hold a sign up or something? I'll say I'm like, oh, I'd go in and I'd be like, I'm kind of like cool,
Starting point is 02:14:58 which I respect you admitting your true thoughts on it. I would go in and I would try and do it. I would be whatever character I was for that time frame. Because it would be fun. Even you said, I don't know how you're going to keep this up for two whole weeks.
Starting point is 02:15:17 Well, that's because I'm misbehaving like this. Loon, that's a high energy thing for two weeks. Oh, maybe I misunderstood the question. I would be down to compete inon that's a high energy thing for two weeks oh maybe i misunderstood the question i would be down to compete in something yeah it's like that when you add that nature what i'm describing is almost like a fantasy renfrew like you ever see those clips for the guys like lightning bolt lightning bolt lightning bolt i'm talking about hanging out with those guys in the park like i can't do that okay well they're not cool like us in the context of competition
Starting point is 02:15:43 wouldn't you want to do well? You'd want to win. Like, I would – because when one of them fails role-playing, all the, you know, hired actors and whatnot – like I saw John got shot with an airsoft gun and didn't go down, and so they, you know, yell like, fail RP, fail RP. And because you failed role-play. You have to role-play. It's part of the game.! Because you failed roleplay. You have to roleplay. It's part of the game. Otherwise, you'll be
Starting point is 02:16:08 punished. You don't level up. I would have a good time. I'd want to be able to pick my own character, though. Mine wouldn't talk. I'd just be like a ringwraith or something. Walk around solemnly with a sword. Then you wouldn't be able to tell them your name, so they would name you, and then it would be
Starting point is 02:16:25 rough. This is Bellamere, the fool. Little Dick Mute. Here comes Little Dick Mute with the sword. What's he compensating for? He is the gayest man in shitty.
Starting point is 02:16:43 Yeah. Sam did a good job because that would be the easiest fucking job to do. Like, that's the easiest voice to do. OK, well, there's no. Well, you know, I think this is fake. I don't think. Vampires like I would definitely want to pick a voice that I could do. Aren't you glad you don't have a speech impediment?
Starting point is 02:17:09 Yes, thank goodness. It's weird. Every job I've ever been good at relies on me not having a speech impediment. I don't know what the prevalence of that particular speech impediment is, but we would run into so many young kids that had that in sea of thieves and in um rust like all the time like like way more like a high percentage of people seemingly had it it was bizarre to me i didn't know what that was about yeah i don't know my son has a speech impediment that makes him legitimately hard to understand sometimes but he gets mad at us for
Starting point is 02:17:44 not understanding and it's awkward because it's like, listen, bro, my listening is pretty good. Why am I taking all the heat for this? This isn't on me! This is all on, we can share! Jesus. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:18:00 Are you still playing Age of Empires, bro? Did I tempt you to play something like, and then we can talk about AOE for the next two hours. All right. We can talk about Richard Bryant stuff. Sure. He won't excited about the blue chew.
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Starting point is 02:19:28 And big thank you to BlueChew for sponsoring the show. Again, BlueChew, B-L-U-E-C-H-E-W.com. P-K-A at checkout. Just pay the five bucks in shipping. And as always, go with the Tadalafil because that is the official recommendation of Kyle and the only one Woody and I have ever tried. And you don't go back to the drawing board. Imagine you step up to the plate, you hit a home run,
Starting point is 02:19:50 and you're like, what should I change? Let's hear it. Nothing. It makes your dick so hard. Yeah? Are you really? What does it do? Yeah, it's a –
Starting point is 02:19:58 It lasts like – is it 48 hours? I think it's like up to 72. Okay. They call it the weekend party thing. Definitely get two nights out of it. You are as hard as the best day you've ever had in your life. That 16-year-old version of you where it stood upwards and pointed toward your nose and you could hammer nails with it, that's what to expect. The refractory period, tiny.
Starting point is 02:20:24 If you're banging your girl once in a night she thinks you're ordinary anyone can do that twice three times you might need performance enhancing drugs and we're here to help yes it's gonna like your dick's gonna look angry it's gonna be so hard and it's a good feeling you're just walking around like you know usually when you're done fucking your dick's like all right mission accomplished so we're gonna we're gonna go down for a while you're walking around after fucking if you've taken one of these and your dick's like like fucking game seven taking a victory lap with his arms in the air put me back in coach like that's that's what your dick is
Starting point is 02:21:00 saying so blue so i wasn't supposed to take it at 11 a.m. before I went. You could because the Tadalafil one, if you took it at 11 a.m. this morning, if you and your lady want to have some sex tonight and some sex tomorrow morning, you're in the zone, baby. You're in the zone. Like the time I forgot. Oh, but you have to wait about an hour to kick in.
Starting point is 02:21:25 So you can't take it like 30 seconds beforehand. Otherwise, you'll miss your win. You won't be in the window. It works great. Chewable tablets. They are a little bit too sour. Agree to disagree. A little too sour.
Starting point is 02:21:39 I'm not a big sour candy guy. And so I wish they'd be a little more sweet instead of more sour. But that's OK. I'm not eating it for flavor. If they chocolate favored richard ryan which is pounded by the fistful oh yeah i know i know i know steve uh from blue chew they're they're here in austin and oh nice yeah yeah never make a chocolate favorite one because i just like have it laying around or something oh okay the peanut. The peanut butter cup, sure. No, they shouldn't make medicine too tasty.
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Starting point is 02:24:36 that is once again painkilleralready.com code pka10 and uh hopefully people enjoy this i i had the i had some some clothes sent to me at first because i'm like i want to make sure these are nice shirts that i'd be happy to wear around you rejected some of them because i need his quality standards i did i i turned down a couple things because i'm like that's not the quality i like i want good quality stuff and so check it out hopefully you enjoy it because we've got some other fun ideas coming down the pike, depending on how much people people like this. So code P.K. 10 painkiller already dot com. Buy yourself T-shirts, some merch, help support the show. And you'll you'll look super fly with your P.K. where your big comes and your hard dick.
Starting point is 02:25:21 So epic, epic. Epic indeed. And back to, what were we talking about? Role playing? Or no, Kyle wanted to ask me a huge number of questions about Age of Empires. Richard, what are you up to? Yeah. And I quickly interject a small thing. While Taylor was doing ads, I listened in to the debate.
Starting point is 02:25:44 And it's their opening. I call it the opening remarks. I thought it was good. I'm going a small thing. While Taylor was doing ads, I listened into the debate. And it's their opening. I call it the opening remarks. I don't know if I thought it was good. I'm going to be honest. When I was president, the economy was rocking and rolling. We're doing this. We're doing that. Then everything falls apart.
Starting point is 02:25:55 Also, I solved COVID. People don't know this about me. And then they cut to Biden. And it's raspy old man Biden, I swear. Oh, no. Is it? He's got this thing going on look he was saying some he was he was on oh and then he almost coughed and like caught to catch himself within the first 10 seconds and then i switched over to here but he was it's definitely
Starting point is 02:26:19 old man biden tonight not that i'm sure he'll make good points, but I didn't sense that State of the Union energy from him. And he has that raspy thing in his voice that comes and goes. I was watching a podcast. They were Republicans, but they were never Trumpers. They weren't his friends. And they're like, someone tell Joe Biden
Starting point is 02:26:39 not to do the whisper thing. It's not working. And they're like, yeah, it's hard to let go of a thing that used to work. He's like, it doesn't work anymore. He's too old. It sounds like he's doing the whisper thing. Like it's not, it's not working. And they're like, yeah, it's hard to let go of a thing that used to work. He's like, it doesn't work anymore. He's too old. It sounds like he's doing the whisper thing. And that's nonstop.
Starting point is 02:26:51 He needs to be the Ellie Biden from the, from the, uh, state of the union. Yeah. I need 1970s Clint Eastwood, not 1999 Clint Eastwood. It's too,
Starting point is 02:27:02 that's, that's what I'm getting. Um, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What have you been up to, Richard? You know, I don't remember. Last time I was on, I think.
Starting point is 02:27:13 Last time you were telling us how NFTs were going to take over the world. Yeah, that was you, right? Oh, yeah. Well, so. Sticking with it. Oh, I was joking. That was really you? Yeah, he did that. Maybe.
Starting point is 02:27:23 So if you look in the background you see like one of the the the dog back there whatever so warrior dog.com i've um i've been building a thing for the warrior dog foundation tying these rfid you said voyeur dog no warrior w-a-r-r-i-o-r. You lost me. Never mind. So just quick sales pitch. Until recently, military working dogs used to be euthanized when they would be retired because they were classified as equipment. And so they were a liability to the State Department. And then Robbie's Law was enacted, which allowed them to be adopted by the handlers when they were processed out. Still, a lot of them were euthanized.
Starting point is 02:28:13 And then some of these nonprofit organizations like the Warrior Dog Foundation stood up to try to find homes for them. Or if they couldn't, they would house them and give them the retirement that they deserve, being that they serve their country. It's just they're not pets. Most people think of animal rescues as just being these you know animals living on couches and stuff like that and trying to place them you can't really do that with a dog that spent its life doing um beating up agitation work we'll say and so uh so what i was like okay i'm trying to i'm trying to I'm trying to build a more meaningful relationship between brands and creators and viewers and consumers.
Starting point is 02:28:51 And so, again, the NFT thing, a lot of people will cringe, but a non-fungible token, all it is is a unique identifier. It's like the IMEI or the UUID in your phone. There's no other like this one, right? And so what I did was I, I tied these to RFIDs and the collars of the dogs and I put security cameras or surveillance cameras all throughout the facility inside the kennels where they eat, where they sleep, in the yard where they play, where they get bathed and everything else. And as the dogs walk to different areas within the facility, it triggers an event. So when you donate or sponsor a dog, you get one dog, their entire feed, or you can sponsor three
Starting point is 02:29:32 dogs or all the dogs. And instead of just, you know, St. Jude, nothing against the organization, they do fantastic work, but you typically get like a card at Chris around Christmas time saying, Hey, please donate at least this way. You're able to see transparently a little bit more of where your dollars are kind of going to, and it builds a more meaningful relationship between you and the organization. And so once I, I shipped this beta, probably in the next couple of weeks, I'll open it up to the public.
Starting point is 02:30:02 Then I'm going to move on to a chicken farm. And then, and so the, all the chickens will have RFIDs on their legs. And so as they go in their nesting boxes, you'll get your carton of eggs. You'll be able to see that chicken free ranging throughout the day. Same thing with the cows at Kansas City Cattle Company. You'll be able to see the calving process all the way to the slaughter process. And so for me, food waste is a big problem in the U.S. There's more than half of the food goes to waste. And so this is meant to give a more visceral kind of meaningful relationship, knowing that some people might be more reluctant to throw
Starting point is 02:30:45 out, you know, waste some of their stake if they're able to see the lights go out on it. So yeah, and again, that radical transparency and supply chain, I think is something that is really exciting for small farmers, because it gives them the ability to separate themselves or differentiate from the big farms that are, you know are on big feedlots. They can say, hey, look, this was regenerative agriculture. This was on a small farm. By the way, we're charging a little bit more of a premium because we have this transparency in our supply chain. So I think it's a big win for small farmers, in my opinion. I have a dog question.
Starting point is 02:31:20 What's that called? The one where I'm going to be the farm voyeur.com? Dude, I haven't even announced any of this stuff. So I kind of like leak shit on here. O-line voyeur is probably open. So the voyeur.com lander is up. And I'll open the beta here in the next couple of weeks. is up and i'll i'll open the the the beta here in the next couple of weeks but um the the chickens and the the cows aren't even it's it's not even public information yet so okay you were telling us about the warrior dogs and you said that they're not pets my dumb ass is like no no if
Starting point is 02:31:59 you shower a dog with love it becomes a pet that's like what happens to them now tell me why that's not the case so you got to think that you know these animals you know they when people hear ptsd there's there's a stigma associated with that um and you know david morel kind of shed a lot of light on that with you know first blood and everything and now it the stigma's kind of gone away a little bit but people when they think about dogs they don't really think about the trauma that's associated with uh you know their deployments and everything else not to mention their sole role well not all of them I need to kind of differentiate between the different mission sets that the different dogs would have. Some of them are agitation work or bite work, and some of them are detection. The detection dogs should be relatively easy to place in a home because they don't have the tendencies that the more aggressive dogs would.
Starting point is 02:33:04 They might rat you out for your weed though you gotta talk about that it's true it's true sitting next to that lamp but it's funny like because so when i was installing these into the the facility and you know the average person might see the facility and see it and say hey look like you know they're in concrete kennels and chain link and everything else. It's like, well, it's to protect the dogs. I'm like, what? Get the fuck out. It's like a prison or whatever.
Starting point is 02:33:29 No, like legit, like installing the cameras in there, I had to put them in steel pipes and cut holes into the steel pipes so that I could sleeve and protect the camera. Within the first, I'd say, 20 seconds of the dog coming back into the kennel, it completely destroyed the camera because it was in its space. And it's the same thing with people. You introduce a dog into a home, there's a learning curve. Almost every handler has been bitten by their dog. And so the thing is, is if you introduce a retired dog into a home with kids or a neighbor comes over,
Starting point is 02:34:13 you really have to have the proper training or the right environment for the dog to be safe and the people who are around it. Because again, they're very protective um it's not like they're you know gangbangers just running around biting people and everything but they they do serve a purpose and and and you know those those things are they're just not suitable for the the average percentage of these dogs that did agitation work which means biting people for a living, I guess? Yes. So there's different certifications. You'll hear the term like dual cert or dual certified that they may be able to do multiple things.
Starting point is 02:34:57 But I would say it really depends on the branch of service. Most of the dogs coming through did agitation work because they're the ones that are hard to place. The detection dogs are relatively easy because it's not like smelling RDX is going to trigger a dog to go off and bite someone. Do they use Belgian mouse for that? Everything. Did they use Belgian mouse for that? Everything. That training school I went to where we did a documentary type
Starting point is 02:35:28 video with them and then that's where I got Dak at. His detection dogs, both explosive and narcotics were mostly labs. Floppy ears. They looked like good boys.
Starting point is 02:35:44 You know what I mean like sweet as fuck and then all of the other dogs pointy ears white work dogs were pointy eared belgian mows and german shepherds and dutch i'm surprised they don't make a hybrid of the mal and the shepherd to get a little bit of the best of both worlds maybe well i mean that's kind of like a dutch shepherd right there is it i'm not familiar with the Dutch Shepherd. Yeah. I mean, it's not really a hybrid of the two. I mean, the mouse kind of its own thing, but there's that role. Those are the three primary, I would say, is Dutch, Belgian, and German. But yeah, so I don't want to speak out of turn here because I'm the tech guy building out the infrastructure, the servers, and all this other stuff.
Starting point is 02:36:24 I'm not an ambassador for the organization i'm just trying to help them build a a more meaningful relationship between the the sponsors and everything but um yeah it's it's it's really exciting um you know well that's good that's a good cause i'll tell you like i care about animals more than people if i'm being honest i I remember when the Ukraine war kicked off, I wasn't about to, frankly, send money or help them buy their drones. It's like, the State Department and you have a deal already. You don't need me to slide around them. They'll give you all the drones you need.
Starting point is 02:36:56 I'm not sending you $500 for drones. But then I heard there was a charity for fucking dogs that had been abandoned or something. I was like, all right yeah all right it's hard like i feel like i'm getting emotional now but um it is so because when you really hear and that's one of the reasons why i've shifted work into these things because this is kind of like my charitable focus i guess you could say is um so robbie's law was enacted right around the start of the g y and so every every deployment beforehand or every conflict beforehand uh specifically vietnam all those dogs were
Starting point is 02:37:34 euthanized or left there and it's kind of crazy when you think about it because if you know anybody who served and they had a dog in their unit or uh in their you know their group it was like that's the thing that everybody looked fondly about like it it just brought a level of home to um you know being deployed that there's a team mascot too you know and i'm sure like having a dog would probably saved our lives i was gonna say i was just gonna say that that's that's that's the other thing too is like especially if you have a detection dog or man the first dog that stops you from stepping on a trip wire and like alerts to like a guy in a fucking tree with an sks or something you're like oh my god who's a good boy so in it so it just it kind of breaks your heart to think that that you know that dog would be just put down because it was classified like an M16.
Starting point is 02:38:28 Who thinks police departments? That was the path for a lot of dogs in that transitional phase. Here's the other thing people don't think about. The Belgian Malinois were very, I don't want to say regulated. It was just, there wasn't enough breeders out there. So when that transition happened from German Shepherds to Belgian Malinois, the DOD became one of the largest procurers of Belgian Malinois. So you couldn't even really buy one because they were buying them all up. Yeah. They even started a breeding program at lacklin um yeah you don't want to fuck up your
Starting point is 02:39:10 government contract somebody's like can i have a puppy too no yeah well and that drove up the price of them too right so like um you try to you try to buy from a reputable breeder you're going to pay a lot of money um and so you you you have all these, these weird nuances in this, in this process, but, um, yeah, I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's really kind of, you know, it's, it's, it's frustrating to hear that, you know, most people didn't even realize that that was, was happening. So, yeah, I'm, I'm glad that they're doing that. That's, that's a tremendous cause because as much as, you know, I love all dogs, but man, those are the, those are the best boys. Those are, let me Remember the dogs Trump talked about? Those dogs probably got euthanized. Let me tell you a story about one. So, um, one of the dogs, um, I think it's Chucky.
Starting point is 02:39:57 Um, he, so there, there's police service dogs that come into the program too, right? So there's, there's been enough time that the organization's been around. They're like, give us any dog. Like if, if an, or if a organization has a working dog and it's going to be euthanized, give it to us. Like, let us at least be the last shot that this dog has, because the way, the way we, and everyone sees is like these dogs have served their countries, like faith faithfully they need a shot at retirement not euthanization so um so chucky it was a great example where um i think they sent him i may be speaking out of turn here but they sent chucky there was like a a suspect that was inside the attic of this this huge building so the handler takes him up and again he's a police
Starting point is 02:40:45 service dog he goes up into the attic and uh gets a bite on this dog and as the the handler is trying to get to him he falls through the roof and i think it's like two three stories down oh knocks the guy unconscious and so they have to wait for a separate um team to get there the medics and everything out he gets he gets sent to the hospital and everything the dog stays on the bite the entire time the entire time yeah and so it took another. And so I think he was awarded at least one medal for that. And there were a number of different things. But all these dogs have just remarkable stories. It's truly humbling to be able to build something.
Starting point is 02:41:34 I have a silly question. I suppose it's silly. Don't you think you could take one? In a one-on-one unarmed fight, don't you think you could take one, Mal? He's going to bite your forearm forearm and then you get to do whatever you want. You get positioned. You can scream. You can cry. Come on.
Starting point is 02:41:51 It's not a bear. He's not going to snap my arm. He's going to latch on and start shaking and tearing. I've got him right here now. He's wherever I want him. Kyle controls that mouth with his forearm. There's not a bunch of value for blood. My forearm, not my throat, not my femoral of value for my forearm. Not my throat. Not my femoral artery. Not my dick.
Starting point is 02:42:08 Not my intestines. I'm actually with you, Kyle. Where I want him, frankly. We've had this argument before, but it's an eagle. Everyone's like, look at those talons. Look how dangerous they are. Sure. But I don't think they can deliver lethal blows to me. He needs a knockout blow.
Starting point is 02:42:23 I'll agree. I'll give you my opinion and then a story so my opinion is yes i agree but like the few times that i like we've messed around with explosives we've had some shady scenarios before with uh we'll say some improvised um electronic blasting caps that have been very high tension. And few things get me as terrified as seeing a mal waiting to be released with an erection drooling out the mouth and knowing that it's about to come bite me. It is one of the most terrifying. You're erect.
Starting point is 02:43:01 You're fucking right. You're fucking right. So, so i agree feed it an arm and then just punch the shit out of it if you can but the story i'm going to tell you is like so they rebooted the program um the military working dog program at camp pendleton uh early 2000s again started the g watt and the they hadn't had time to retrofit everything from the Vietnam era and so a lot of the kennels didn't have working air conditions and stuff like that that they were
Starting point is 02:43:34 going out into the desert very problematic but the media day was around and one of my buddies Mike Dowling who wrote the book Sergeant Rex is is kind of funny. He was talking about how they brought their hardest-hitting German shepherd out there for media day. So they put the journalist in a bite suit. Describe the journalist's physique for us, if you will. I don't even know. I don't even know. We'll say typical
Starting point is 02:44:05 southern californian male gonna be punished for his fake news um and so he he goes and they they release the dog on him and they send it and whenever he feeds them his arm he bites down on it and snaps it in half compound fracture inside inside the sleeve and from that from that day on the marine corps and i it may even be like a a military wide thing now at this point but no no more civilians in in bite sleeves for um any kind of government working this like a uniquely small man like no and that was the thing is like he looked badass on camera in his big muscle suit yeah well no no the dog the dog it's like these are yeah this is america's like you know marine corps working dogs and uh yeah so it snapped some some journalists are so so now what they do is they they take and
Starting point is 02:45:06 put the the uh boot guys and the lower ranking new guys um in the program in the bite suits to demo whenever the media comes out and everything but i just thought that was kind of cool but when you get the you've been in one too right yeah yeah it's not my thing uh it's it was so tiring um for one thing i was in poor shape when i did it but it was a it was a pretty large german shepherd and it was like his german shepherd like the guy who owned the the school and the the whole place this is like buck his boy this is the dog that would go fetch miller lights out of the fridge and close the fridge and shit and that dog was whooping my ass however like again once he had my arm i felt like man i feel like maybe i put my knee my whole body weight on your chest and like
Starting point is 02:45:57 i can start doing shit to you he's gonna fuck your arm up 100 but after wrestling with him for what felt like an hour but was probably 10 minutes i was 100 exhausted and at that point if the fight had actually been going like it was he would have killed me like i was i was also in the suit you're overheated and we were it was a hot day we were indoors but ac was only doing so much and like I was overheated and exhausted to the point and he was still going. He wanted more. He wasn't wearing a suit. Not fair. He's had fur coat on.
Starting point is 02:46:34 I'm just trying to help. He wears it every day. He's like one punch man with that shit. He showed up like that. He sleeps with no air conditioning. Dak bit me one time but I'm sure he was only like, hey, last fucking morning kind of bite because he grabbed my whole calf in his mouth
Starting point is 02:46:51 and bit it just hard enough. Why? Kitty had him outside and walking him off leash, and I didn't know that. And I sort of walked up on them on my phone, and they didn't catch me. And there was this moment of like, oh, you're here, which is normal between human beings. But when he was there, it was like, you're here. And he ran up and fucking grabbed my he like barked three times.
Starting point is 02:47:16 I froze. I figured like moving at all was a bad move because I can't outrun him. And I don't think I can cower him either. So I'm just I i freeze and he sort of and then bites my whole fucking calf he goes and like let's go and i'm just like i just went from the pain because i didn't want to i didn't i want i didn't want to yell too loud either maybe that'll encourage him and then he and then she like got him away from me and it was all good but i never got your relationship with him because it felt like you were never his handler it's like he always hated you yeah so
Starting point is 02:47:50 what happened was right when i got him um i took him for a walk and like we didn't know each other very well and he was already skittish to begin with very skittish um and i had just gotten a samurai sword and so i'm checking my mail i got my samurai sword in one hand i got my my fucking belgian mal attack dog in the other and i'm checking the mail and i'm probably thinking how cool i am and uh there's a there's a fucking like weed growing next to my mailbox and i'm like not today and i feel like it's like and just the arm movement um spooked him so much that he freaked out i put the thing on the ground now i got both hands on the lead and he tore his way out of a full chest harness like he wiggled enough and twisted enough
Starting point is 02:48:40 that he got out and disappeared for like 48 hours had to like track him down i lived on the lake and he's all these fucking wooded um hardwood hills between like houses and just and you i'm driving around the roads screaming at him and he'd stop and look at me like a deer like again we don't know each other very well at this point and then he'd run again and so that was definitely like a problem with our relationship right away. And then I was on the road at one point for like two months because I had like back to back to back engagements. It was like Chicago, maybe like Boston, Chicago, Seattle, L.A. And like they happened in such a way that I just wasn't at home.
Starting point is 02:49:24 And he bonded with her because she's in her office. that I just wasn't at home and he bonded with her because she's in her office and so it became her dog he reversed bonded with you he hated you he reversed bond and he saw me as like an intruder I was I was home so little that I was like you don't belong here what the fuck are you doing here so I it became a thing where like I couldn't it's weird like if I was sitting on the couch and he came out and then he would sit on the couch with me and we'd be chill but if it was vice versa that would be a big problem like if he'd been on the couch and i tried to join him i wouldn't have made it to the couch before he started like alerting and standing his ground but he was a bad motherfucker he died recently over. Old age or what? The old age, yeah. Kyle killed him.
Starting point is 02:50:08 At 15, I was finally strong enough to choke the life out of him. Maybe not 15. No, but still, we're old. Yeah, I mean, close to 15. When my dog doesn't recognize me in the yard and starts barking, he sounds really scary. It's a great Dane.
Starting point is 02:50:27 And I'm like, you're 96 years old. What, do you get a limp over here? Give me a break. What he should be doing is debating in front of the country. I'm glad you said that. I don't want to do a bunch of debate talk. At least it's relevant right now. My phone is blowing up. I'm glad you said that. I don't want to do a bunch of debate talk. At least it's relevant right now.
Starting point is 02:50:48 I'm getting blown up. My phone is blowing up. Everyone I know is messaging me. And my Democrat lesbian friend is like, this is, Biden is being humiliated. This is awful. Yeah, I have friends who are like, we never talk about politics. A couple of from california like a couple new york like not trump guys and they're like
Starting point is 02:51:11 this is fucking elder abuse he's like i'm forgetting he's forgetting what he's talking about like yeah i tend to tell them all no spoilers stop because i really don't want it one little tidbit i listened to like earlier there was a i found a moment i listened to it like a minute and it happened to be biden saying something biden froze like he had a senior fucking moment for what i'm gonna look if i was his wife i would have said three seconds he was frozen but it felt more like five and then he said we beat medicaid and his time and that was the moment his time ended and trump goes you sure did you beat it to death and it was that fast it was that fast and then and then and that he didn't there's no applause it was right no i was afraid and he was on a roll
Starting point is 02:52:02 from there like laying out his you know trump jargon about how great his economy was and how bad this guy's is and how he lets in killers and rapists and murderers and how he puts them up and how it's on a roll. There's no audience for applause, but Chiz agrees with you. He's like debate time. Biden's coming off nervous as hell. And then Chiz, who roots for the Democrats now anyway, I don't know if always, he's like, this is bad. For who? Biden. Even with him talking like an old man out to pasture, which is bad enough, Trump is arguing his points better by a lot. Painted Biden is in favor of late-term abortions killing babies. Oh, that's what Trump said. Okay.
Starting point is 02:52:44 Yeah. So I haven't seen it but i don't see anybody saying i'm very excited good i'm very excited to watch it tonight now i'm pumped now i'm pumped uh i can't wait to watch it um it's it's and before we you know it started it's exactly what i said biden has to drop the ball and trump has to run with it or it's lights out for trump. This could be when you see the polls switch back three or four points in the Trump direction
Starting point is 02:53:10 tomorrow and in the week to come when the memes start fucking dropping because there's going to be a lot of wide-eyed Biden gifs, I promise. I'm blown away by how cool that charity is though. nfts are we right i mean if that's what you're powered by we're gonna i mean maybe
Starting point is 02:53:32 let me let me explain this like because i don't think we really the time before had an opportunity to really um lay it all out so i have a chip on my shoulder. I think I would hope you do too, Kyle. But so it's just being fucked by YouTube for so long, like getting preferential treatment at times, and then, hey, like, come do this for us for free or do this thing, help us with this or help us with that. Awesome. Great. Um, I did that for, you know, the better part of five, 10 years. And then all of a sudden algorithmically things start impacting and like not being able to resolve demonetization and all these other things. It's like, man, I put 10 years of my life, 15, 20 now, into building this channel.
Starting point is 02:54:30 I've spent hundreds of thousands, if not millions of dollars at this point in videos and everything for it to get kind of shut off. Man, it's, look, woe is me, woe is me, I'm fine. But there's a lot of people out there who aren't. And I don't think that these organizations should be in a position to benefit from it like that. If I spend that time, I should be able to migrate my subscribers over to a different platform. If you're going to say that my content that you liked 10 years ago
Starting point is 02:55:05 is now against the terms of service or not safe for advertisers, let my companies advertise on those videos and let's do the same revenue share split. They wouldn't do it. And I was like, well, so you're telling me you're disregarding your fiduciary responsibility to the shareholders of Alphabet by not taking my money because you're saying advertisers aren't willing to spend money on firearms-related content. I'm like, well, my companies will. They'll buy the whole ad inventory. And then you still get the ad revenue share split
Starting point is 02:55:35 and everything. Just don't de-rank my videos because you think it's not suitable. And so I was like, okay, how do we create open, unique identifier protocols i.e nfts i i wish people would would totally throw away the expensive monkey picture like nft thing and just think it's an id and so if we do this on various blockchains, whoever does it, the cheapest, the most secure, whatever, I don't care. I'm chain agnostic. But if we build these platforms, like, hey, if Woody wants to host his own servers, let's make sure that this unique identifier system can speak to the Twitter one, can speak to the other one so if something happens in some capacity you can just turn a switch change the back end right so it's like it's the same thing with artificial intelligence i'm building some stuff
Starting point is 02:56:32 that's essentially the kind of like what apple announced over the last couple of weeks is it's it's just a different repository back end so you can take and change you can use open ai if you want you can use stable uh diffusion uh from stability you can use all these different things you can just turn off that the big thing is the big advantage of google is it becoming the yellow pages of the internet and its ability to index things for search right so i think that's just too much power like and being able to have all this information with people's gmail accounts and everything else it's like okay let's try to create as many open source systems and so like rumble you guys they're doing a great job trying to build up the conservative flank i guess you could say
Starting point is 02:57:23 of keeping those people from being censored. But it's still the same thing. It's like you're a centralized platform that the unique identifier, i.e. the subscriber or the viewer, their account is tied to the Rumble ecosystem. That needs to be open. That needs to be interchangeable or interoperable with other platforms so that the consumer gets the better thing downstream. So if, if hosting becomes cheaper, then go to this other platform. If, if they offer it, or if somebody has a better algorithm for search and related, you can plug that in. It's just, that's the, that's the thing that I've been so passionate about building and
Starting point is 02:58:02 solving for the last couple of years. And's trying to build an island between the platforms. Yeah. And you guys actually have a really technical fan base. So if anybody out there listening knows of a company or a project that's building something open that we could incorporate in these things, great. If you're a developer or anything like that, you want to help out, give me a shout. in these things, great. If you're a developer or anything like that, you want to help out, give me a shout. Again, this stuff, the problem is people like control. Companies,
Starting point is 02:58:37 specifically for-profit companies, like control. I understand that. But we're at that point where there's too many centralized companies extracting value, not really providing value. And we're at a critical point for a lot of these different things. Cause you could argue that the incentive mechanism and social media being misaligned, like it, cause when social media first started, it was built off of a social graph, right? It was like, who are your friends, your family members and everything else. And you had this feed and then around 2012 ish, the monetization program in the App Store and everything else, like the incentive shift to what people refer to as the attention economy,
Starting point is 02:59:11 but really it's just advertising. And again, I feel like so many people blame the algorithm and it really is just- I'm lost on the business case for this though. Sure. If I'm YouTube and I have a gigantic user base who watches my videos every day, why would I want to build bridges from YouTube to Rumble or whatever? You don't. But at this point, I think that if you were to look at Moore's Law and say things, we are in a very steep portion of like technological development as of late and i would argue that
Starting point is 02:59:47 even if you are an apple or an alphabet and you can hire the best engineers you're not going to have all the engineers so if you create there's a saying that if you're behind you build open if you're ahead you build closed and i think that if you like everyone's technically behind now even the big companies that's their biggest threat vector in my opinion like sonos is a great example sonos right before labor day weekend they shipped or pushed a um an update that essentially bricked all the sonos speakers with the update like you couldn't connect your phone to it and everything it's like fucking labor day weekend and or memorial day weekend and um and and so it's like if you if you open certain aspects of your tech stack uh i think that it allows you to incentivize like a bug bounty for developers this like argentina argentina's prolific for zero day hacks like
Starting point is 03:00:46 they're they have such a amazing hacker community down there um like if you incentivize like you would a bug bounty feature updates and stuff like that and you you open source certain aspects of your tech stack i think i think everybody wins like the the end user and everything so and so no it doesn't not everybody wins that the end user and everything. No, not everybody wins. The people who are winning now lose. Everybody else wins. Yeah, but look at it this way. YouTube would lose. No, but YouTube
Starting point is 03:01:15 is still the second largest search engine. It still has a better ad sales platform. Google is still connected to Google Maps, Google Tracking Pixels, Google Analytics. They still have the best ad network. It's the most invasive. But if they took and they opened that up, they could say that then there wouldn't be an adpocalypse, right? Because their argument was, we can't serve ads on Richard's content because he has firearms in it and that's not suitable for all advertisers
Starting point is 03:01:46 well cool make it open and then if you don't want to do that then i'll do it you know well that all that defeats the like because i remember saying this at the time during adpocalypse like the entire idea that youtube put forward of like ah these these advertisers have got us bent over a barrel guys they don't want to advertise on political content we don't like or gun content which is political adjacent or this and that oh my goodness sorry guys i guess you can't make a living doing this for your audience like that was all just backwards engineered it was all total bullshit when you're the size of youtube the like your fiscal bottom line isn't really the only concern anymore.
Starting point is 03:02:28 You control huge swaths of information and how people find it. And so the whole time they were like, oh, this person doesn't have ads. This person doesn't. This person who's too right wing. This person who's too much of a gun lover. They lied and said, oh, Proct gamble and johnson and johnson and crest they're up in arms they don't want their ads to accidentally show up now i know even during adpocalypse the ad sophistication like the sophistication of ad placement on youtube was
Starting point is 03:02:56 such even then that if crest was trying to advertise their toothpaste it was never going to accidentally show up on a gun video that was a backwards engineered measure in order to censor people they don't like and to remove the incentive for those individuals to make content that they found you know ideologically negative and so the entire time it was a lie you think procter and gamble gives a fuck how people learn about tide detergent i do they don't tell you when they do there were videos it was like a popular genre of like spider-man doing sexy shit the kids and youtube kids i think it was yeah and that was probably the stuff that kicked off the adpocalypse so
Starting point is 03:03:39 sometimes i wonder if they just overreached and grabbed everything that's Aussie. Oh, can we transition this into the try-on girls? But you could easily. Here's the thing. If you are a multi-million, multi-billion dollar organization and your marketing team can't set ad exclusions, from top-down chief marketing officer all the way down fire everybody. Setting ad exclusions is so easy. And can do that you can you can block channels you can block keywords you can block all kinds of different things so the fact that they would hide behind that is so frustrating and just to watch watch like my channel like so what i did was i took, because historically my videos would perform fairly well on the long tail as far as search and related.
Starting point is 03:04:29 And I had some 20 millimeter Lottie videos that were maybe five or six years old. And the cool thing about that was. Is Lottie a kind of gun? Yeah, it's a Finnish 20 millimeter rifle on a bipod sled. 20 millimeter rifle on a bipod sled. And so what was really cool about it is that video would average, we'll say, sake of a round number, a million views a month, six-year-old video, right? And then I would take and I would check my Google updates. Whenever it would be demonetized, the views would go from whatever a hundred thousand a day or whatever it was, it would go down to like two views a day. The next day from being demonetized, a six-year-old video had all this, this SEO kind of
Starting point is 03:05:19 algorithmic weight and search and related, and then turned off immediately when demonetized. And then I'd fight it. I'd appeal it. I'd talk to people at YouTube, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then it would take about three months and it would slowly start working its way back up, get demonetized again. The exact same thing happened where it would spike down. And so to say that like, oh, well, you know, monetization's not not everything you can have limited monetization you're still penalizing me in search and related because you don't you're not going to make as much money on it and so that's really frustrating that's the whole reason why i was like you know okay what do i do now how do we solve for this because it seems like everybody wants to create
Starting point is 03:06:00 you know the gun youtube the conservative youtube the other youtube and i get that i totally understand it but um it we need to open an open protocol for indexing and all all the different identifiers i.e the end users and so one of the things i haven't even talked about this one of the things that i'm going to do is um I'm going to allow people to back up all their stuff and then opt into. So, you know, if you backed up your YouTube channel into the repository, then you could host your own and then index it that way in an open protocol. So hopefully people will create blogs and curate, you know, hey, look, there's so much shit on YouTube, blah, blah, blah. Bring blogs back or, you know, curated websites like so much shit on youtube blah blah bring blogs back or you know curated websites like gizmodo and and stuff like that i just know in my heart there's
Starting point is 03:06:51 kind of a bunch of kids out there need to know how to get out of the friend zone people want to see me mow my yard i got content i'll put an rfid tracker on you or we'll tie it we'll tie it to your phone so that uh so that anytime your phone, you move around in your yard, in your house. I'm all in. Get me a collar. Yeah. What's even crazier now is like a lot of the cameras, like Ubiquiti has some pretty good ones that have chipsets that have artificial intelligence systems in them that do pretty good facial recognition. And you probably even wouldn't need the identifier component you'd probably be able to figure it out uh based off of your face oh back into the nft thing i'm all good with nft the tech like i understand it i think i
Starting point is 03:07:37 like to tease nft the investment opportunity because oh for sure there were so many people like you're missing the boat it's the next crypto crypto. And I'm like, I don't know. Ugly monkeys? It feels like the next tulips. I totally get it. Dude, I made and lost money on that all day long. I hope you made more than you lost.
Starting point is 03:07:58 I always root for you. I got my board apes up there. You still have them? Yeah. They're for sale. Anybody? No one's I never sale them.
Starting point is 03:08:11 I never sell them. Yeah. I won't do it. No, they could bounce back. I mean, maybe. Yeah. The tulips could still come back. Oh, man.
Starting point is 03:08:21 We had a poker pro who was all about them as an investment yeah i thought you're gonna say stevie oaky or something i can't remember do you remember i forget his name i yeah he i can't recall he played he played negron you and that that crazy heads up um like a thing they did at the casino there was like hundreds and hundreds of hands i also put crypto which so far i'm the one who's wrong but we'll see how it goes in the long term oh yeah hey i'll tell you one more thing i'm gonna like i i'm telling you shit that i'm going to do so this is kind of crazy because i don't
Starting point is 03:08:57 i feel like i only i only talk to you guys like once a year so coming back so soon yeah uh you know so i'm gonna in all this tech stuff i'm probably gonna launch a uh a tech channel too um just just on the security front you should call it ryan's tech tips you know it'd be interesting uh i think this would be huge um or it'd be helpful isn't linus tech tips the biggest one oh i see yeah play on that just no it's just like it's just things like de-googling de-googling um like creating v lands like stuff stuff that's security focused oh i wanted you to test drone um like uh defense systems like personal drone defense systems those jammers that uh those guys need in ukraine That would be cool. I want you to test various drone technology against those and figure out
Starting point is 03:09:49 how to detect what jamming frequency the Russians are using and then how to project that. What about a frequency that disables a Malinois? I've got to be really careful. The brown tone. I built some stuff back in the day and um kyle you
Starting point is 03:10:09 probably remember it oh i remember yeah and so the crazy thing is the organization i built it with um was telling me that they were utilizing it in a conflict abroad and were asking about um me coming in for some things that because they were trying to solve for swarm swarm problems um so for those who don't know what swarming is it's just a bunch oficking drones. And so one drone with a payload is relatively easy to stop. You know, you have like your iron domes, your curtains of, you know,
Starting point is 03:10:53 munitions and stuff like that, or nets. But when you swarm, you can stagger and offset in a way that's very, if not impossible to defend because you could stagger a thousand of them for the next 10, 20 minutes. And using, again, cameras with facial recognition and stuff like that, object recognition,
Starting point is 03:11:18 which is even more terrifying that when we were doing this stuff, this was before DJI was a thing. Three-day robotics and maybe SparkFun. A lot of this stuff was Arduino-based back in the day. But now it's even crazier knowing that you have DJI mapping all of US and everything else. But they were trying to figure out and solve for these swarm problems. And I see people like, you know who Palmer lucky is.
Starting point is 03:11:46 No, no. You have to check him out. He's, you know, again, this, uh,
Starting point is 03:11:52 eccentric, uh, tech, but where's this going? Um, solve for a swarm problem. No, like it's just,
Starting point is 03:11:57 it's just interesting that they were using some of our old, old stuff for this. And I was like, I don't want, I don't want to touch anything with a 10-foot pole that is going to be in a conflict like i i'm like i do not do not want to be involved um but they're they're looking at like really interesting things around the world of like emps and and and stuff for swarm problems i wonder why they can't take out surveillance drones with a shotgun like so not me i'm not
Starting point is 03:12:34 special with a shotgun but i've seen that nets are pretty effective they have like ballistic nets that are pretty effective um a lot of those drones again i can't really oh wait wait i can't condone this but a lot of them work off of um rf rf um and and you can jam those and you can um you can introduce different things that the faa doesn't really look kindly on because it messes with actual they're doing like like yeah i guess how the war is being fought right now with you can get in a lot of trouble a lot of well not in a war zone like no no no stateside stateside yeah following what we're talking about it's about jamming the radio frequency that the uh the drones are on you can get those on amazon like yeah flipper zero and stuff like that yeah but to your point woody you can shoot them down with a shotgun
Starting point is 03:13:32 like i've seen them doing it i've said a few months ago i saw a russian pleading to the camera for pump shotguns and then recently i've seen like that people you know running outside the bunker with a pump shotgun and downing. But those are like those, they call them FPV drones, but I don't know. They should just call them kamikaze drones so we understand what you actually mean. Because they fly down and essentially run into the person with an explosive payload and blow them in half. Some of the kamikaze drones, I would guess, are a little big for a shotgun. Some of the kamikaze drones, I would guess, are a little big for a shotgun.
Starting point is 03:14:06 You know, like if you hear drones. It's explosive. You just got to touch the explosives and it pops. Oh, I didn't know the explosive with that. We did this. We did a video like this where we had drones with explosives flying around and we were. I should have asked instead of guess because I thought it was the sort of thing you two would know. But like a surveillance drone, one that just follows them. That's a regular kind of drone that you get on Amazon.
Starting point is 03:14:26 There's nothing like even aftermarket about it. And those things are small. You put them in a small backpack. Again, I don't want to give people any ideas. and that the thing that they would do is using consumer-style drones and 3D printing shape charges. And that's really hard to defend for when you have an explosive projectile that's initiated before shotgun range. It's coming at you at like...
Starting point is 03:15:06 What is shotgun range? 75 yards-ish? Even then, it's going to probably need to be closer than that. You'd have to get really lucky with a BB that far. Oh, what's a better number? Kyle, you're muted. 20, 30? Yeah, 30, 35 yards if you're a a badass if you've got that extra full turkey choke
Starting point is 03:15:27 and you and and you know you can shoot so you've got a you've got like bbs in there like literal bb size shot or something or and you're shooting a pattern that's this fucking big at 25 yards because you can do that like that guy's shooting down at 30 or 40 yards for sure but the average schmo who's got a medium choke 870 he's shooting him at 30 or 40 yards for sure but the average schmo who's got a medium choke 870 he's shooting him at 20 or 25 yards and it's probably spraying them with shit yeah i overestimated the effectiveness then okay oh it'd be super effective you save everybody's fucking life it would be effective at 100 yards like i thought it would oh hell no oh hell no that's when everybody it leads to like start pecking at them, right? I'm not good with a shotgun, but I can fly a drone.
Starting point is 03:16:07 And you can easily keep those at more than 100 yards off the ground to stay out of range for surveillance. Yeah. So again, I actually enjoy these kind of conversations because I'm like, okay, what are we trying to solve for? Because if it were nighttime, typically something like that, it would be thermal or infrared. And so infrared is actually pretty easy to solve for because you can have some pretty bright emitters that would just throw out a strobe in a way that would just blind it. Thermal is a little bit more difficult to solve for, but even during the day, I mean, but um even during the day i mean it's hard to see those little things coming yeah and you know again i was talking about surveillance which i think is one of the harder problems to solve because they're cheap you don't really you don't want to use uh something
Starting point is 03:16:56 expensive to shoot it down because they spent 200 to put it up and uh also you can fly pretty high you know 400 feet 600 feet and still see really well yeah i mean if i feel like you guys are you guys are tech enthusiasts so if you really go down the rabbit hole of like some of the uh known defense programs in like the 2010 2015 um i forget the names of them but essentially there's there's there's different uh aircraft and satellites that are constantly surveilling certain areas and the the capacity of it was upgraded over a period of time based off of camera sensors and storage which you could would you you do is rewind 15 frames per second an entire city so if you wanted to track somebody you didn't need to catch them on camera you just needed to rewind their pattern of life that day so a lot of that stuff yeah yeah that's that looks sweet
Starting point is 03:18:01 oh their pattern of life that day i follow but that the the scene i keep seeing and i'm no expert i'm on reddit watching kill videos and stuff is they have one surveillance uav or a drone that can stay up for quite some time and it's searching it's searching for little foxholes little caves watching people go into their little fortified dugout. You need that thing with its loiter time to figure out where the bad guys are. And then that guy communicates to the kamikaze drone and says, go straight to here. And artillery, anything they want. Oh, sure, sure. But if you just take out their surveillance drones and you're either Russia or Ukraine,
Starting point is 03:18:41 then you've done something that helps your side. Yeah. either russia or ukraine then you've done something that helps your side yeah so you're you're talking about the russia ukraine uh conflict which is i would say way lower on the um tech scale yeah tech scale but we're you know us has things like global hawk and and stuff like that that will loiter for weeks um and is that a satellite or something that flies it's a fixed it's a fixed it's a fixed wing drone it flies for weeks yeah it refuels doesn't it no it has weeks of fuel when it launches yeah and and so some of these fixed wing aircraft will will fly for a long time and whenever we like touch on a little bit of US military tech, it's like, and that's the one
Starting point is 03:19:26 they brag about, dude. That's the one they brag about. Ten years ago. Ten years ago. They got this other thing that they killed a guy for joking about one time. You don't even know. So Woodward released interview tapes with Trump like today. It's really new.
Starting point is 03:19:40 And he was saying something that Kyle just said. He's like, we got weapons. You don't even know. We got weapons we're not talking about. They're amazing. And I'm just like, anyway, just reminded me of that. He didn't get it. They probably are pretty cool.
Starting point is 03:19:53 Look, we spend so much fucking money every year. And there was a time when I was maybe a young adult. I was like, we've got to turn this system around. It's too much waste. But now i see that that's impossible so i just take pride and and the and the wonder of it like it will explode we're like we're like the fucking empire over here there'll be a death star soon there'll be a death star soon my favorite battle cry is you're about to learn why we don't have health care
Starting point is 03:20:22 that's like an ac-130 captain line You're about to learn why we don't have healthcare. That's like an AC-130 captain line. Man, going just off social media right now, this is going beyond horribly for Biden. Yeah, I haven't heard anyone. I saw a 20-second clip I just saw of Biden doing, you know where he just trails off and stops talking for seconds. And he was doing the end of his sentence like, something like that.
Starting point is 03:20:54 And Trump, they're like, Mr. President Trump. And Trump's like, I didn't understand what he said at the end of that sentence. I don't think he did either. Are you joking or did he say that? That's what it says. Again. But my friends who are excited about Trump doing his bombastic thing are texting and being like, Trump is super calm.
Starting point is 03:21:17 He's not doing his Trump thing, which isn't as fun. But I heard it was the key to winning. A lot of people were like, I said it at the start of the night. If he stays hinged, that's one of the... I don't know if that's a term. But Trump not getting unhinged is one of his keys to victory. It sounds like he's doing it. I don't know. It sounds like he's being... At this point,
Starting point is 03:21:36 you just got to hope if you're a Trump guy, you're like, all right, Mr. President, forget the low blow. Don't sweep the leg. At least all my children are still alive you hear jake tapper dear god right you don't want him to be a salesman that can't take yes for an answer yeah yeah don't be too don't be too cruel at this point like the more pathetic biden potentially looks i'm not
Starting point is 03:22:01 watching i i've seen two minutes of it and what I saw was a Trump trouncing because he made a joke. I'm going to watch it. Remember when Hillary was like, it's awful good that someone like you is not in office and then it cuts to him and he's like, because you'd be in jail. He hit Biden just like that. And it was right
Starting point is 03:22:20 after a Biden senior moment where he just went quiet and looked confused. I want to hear it i i like to be informed i follow this stuff yeah i'm gonna watch it's gonna be a hard watch for me i'm psyched yeah i'm watching some of this then it's like like oh i heard your hockey team lost nine to zero you're gonna watch it well yeah i gotta know what we gotta know how this happened so we can rebuild oh jesus christ well that's not from tonight clearly he was overseeing something at fema that day so probably not that important there was another one on the right that was by him that made me laugh
Starting point is 03:22:58 yeah i i he should have had his nap. We have a thousand trillionaires in America. That's good news. I heard him say that. He corrected himself immediately, though. It didn't seem like a flub as much as it was. He was like, I got a thousand trillionaires. Where'd they get that money? That Fed been printing?
Starting point is 03:23:18 He means billionaires. Yeah, of course he does. He corrected himself. It sounded like Richard didn't pick up. Anyway. Yeah. No, I look forward to seeing it. Although, I gotta say...
Starting point is 03:23:28 The scared old man face is such bad optics for running for president. I genuinely believed he was a gamer. He was a game day player. I said it stupidly two hours ago. He's 81! He looked good at 80!
Starting point is 03:23:44 He's playing very well looked good at 80! No, he did not. They all look good at 80, Woody, but 81! He's a bridge too far. His playing days are long behind him. Was that Operation Market Garden? Where they try to do that landing? I know that episode of Band of Brothers.
Starting point is 03:24:01 That's a good one. There's a movie that's got every actor in it ever. By the yeah yeah yeah there's a movie that's got like every actor in it ever oh by the way Furiosa's on the Plex if you guys want to watch I'm going to want to talk about it with somebody wasn't supposed to be good what I said was it didn't make a lot of money
Starting point is 03:24:17 but that doesn't mean it's not very good I hear it's quite Furiosa do you remember the Mad Max do you remember Mad Max from 2014? Charlize Theron's character was Furiosa, the badass chick with no arm. They did a prequel with Anna Taylor Joy playing Furiosa.
Starting point is 03:24:33 Oh, yeah. And what's his name? Thor. Chris, whatever Thor's fucking name is. Chris Hemsworth is in the movie too. It didn't make a lot of money, but it looks fantastic because, I don't know, I thought the
Starting point is 03:24:49 first one looked fantastic. I don't need a great story in a Mad Max movie. Mad Max movies never had great stories. It was always just a clusterfuck of post-apocalyptic nonsense, so I'm down. Nice. Yeah, I think setting the expectations going into the theater is super important.
Starting point is 03:25:05 We used to get hammered. We'd go watch The Expendables every time one would come up in the theater. And people were like, how can you do that? It's like, dude, we're not expecting an Academy Award winning performance. We're here with friends. We're going to have a drink. It's going to be fun. Yeah, how's the Sligo you got out of this one? Chuck Norris and Sylvester Stallone And Schwarzenegger
Starting point is 03:25:32 They're breaking out of their retirement home I think there was one part where like Maybe Schwarzenegger and Chuck Norris Were like making an escape from an airport And Chuck Norris said something Like he gets hurt and he's like this is nothing Got bit by a rattlesnake one time after three days of agonizing pain it died he's like making chuck norris jokes to arnold schwarzenegger so i don't know as someone who
Starting point is 03:25:56 grew up with like those 80s and early 90s action movies a big fucking dumb tough guy fucking shut up like i like those movies too i watched them i watched them i like it like the whole world is like this dude's a good kyle's like i don't care i like it yeah yeah it's what a guilty pleasure is it's something that you appreciate for for reasons maybe uh everyone can't uh participate in maybe just because of you know we grew up i grew up in such a time and those movies were so like such a big part of my childhood you know like i thought arnold schwarzenegger was the baddest motherfucker in the world for like most of my early childhood
Starting point is 03:26:31 i was like i don't know he's pretty fucking big who's bigger than him and then i remember like reading or hearing maybe somewhere something about steroids and i was like not arnold i didn't believe arnold would do i was like 12 and i had his poster on the wall down in my little basement gym and i was like not you king i know you didn't cheat yeah i know i remember the like ryan reynolds and blade uh is it trinity or whatever and then yeah all like everyone's like yeah like you see like men's health and then they're on the cover and it's like what did he do how did he train he'd wake up at three o'clock in the morning and run and eat like 6 000 calories and it's like all of these articles missed the
Starting point is 03:27:17 main ingredient juice they always yeah they always did and i was just so naive as a kid you've seen Derek's videos right more plates more dates I haven't I know who so that's what he does he all right so that's a that he has two sort of personalities to his channel one is to like please the masses which is like popcorn steroid talk where it's like he looks at a um like a movie transformation that someone does like like brad pitt getting in shape for troy or something and he talks about whether he thinks it's naturally possible based on time dated photos of before and after like could he have put on this much muscle mass and look like this and sometimes i'll be like yeah you could do that look you got down lighting and he's all greased up and this and that and the angle and then really yeah it's it's
Starting point is 03:28:05 really some people he he's like hey yeah he's the benefit of the doubt yeah he gives the benefit of the doubt a lot i think sometimes he says this is possible when it's not probable but that's just me derrickson that's cool and you can sort of sense you get you get that sense of that too agreed the other real yeah the other popcorn thing kyle didn't mention is like people will do trend for example and apparently that makes your sex drive fucking wild like guys are turning by you know people go like like they lower their standards on girls and they're just like i became a sexist so he'll read like reddit comments about wild behaviors from some of the more extreme steroids and that's a fun read too and he also has a very other side of the channel where he breaks things down on
Starting point is 03:28:53 molecular levels and um he'll do product reviews he's like guiney what is it 2002 get the fuck out of here with that you know what guiney does to your cell walls, people? I'll tell you. I'll tell you. That's vitamin C going nowhere. Nowhere. He'll eat ingredient per ingredient, talking about what's bullshit. It's got it, but.2 milligrams? 14 milligrams
Starting point is 03:29:18 is the dosage. 14 milligrams. You have 1 280th the correct dosage. What is is this that's why all his products are efficaciously done that's who we partnered with for lock and load that's my shit yeah no yeah it's that's all true like his his whole thing like his whole spiel in in the products he sells or reviews is about whether or not they hit efficacious doses so he'll read some like pre-workout and be like 50 grams of creatine they must think their customers are stupid
Starting point is 03:29:53 fucks and i'm like i don't even know what the efficacious dose of creatine is like i don't know but he's like i'm like i guess i have a stupid fuck because i didn't know it's one of those channels that you can like start watching it where he's like today we're going to talk about protein in the glutamic liver transcriptase uh process and i'm like interesting and by the end of it i'm like passing people on the street and i'm like this fucking idiot doesn't know anything about the reverse transcriptase liver process will you show a picture of the delt god just so that richard has some don't not with the not with the death star delts with just so you can see the delts yeah he doesn't need to be memed to see how
Starting point is 03:30:35 big a true picture of his ridiculous deltoids he's known as the deltoid god of the internet he has he's like an absolute genetic freak for for deltoids i've got big deltoids derrick has colossal deltoids like he is just like uh you know he has juiced himself up a bit he's on the right haven't we all not me look at those delts man they're like bigger than he looks like one of those cows that has a pituitary gland problem grazing in a belgian field somewhere like so this of course is him all dried out and peaking but every day he has ginormous bowling balls can i just say it's i don't think it is i think that's just him at the gym with a pump because he's got his i i genuinely think that's him at the gym with a pump i don't think so because i i once did a tweet
Starting point is 03:31:21 and i was like is this awesome or too much and he did a response video to my tweet where he's like, I don't look like this, you know, et cetera. But, um, probably cause y'all were all being fucking mean to her. I was like,
Starting point is 03:31:34 I mean, this is before I knew him or anything. And I was just exercising and I was like, is this awesome or too much? I was like, I don't know. Making conversation on Twitter back when it was Twitter. Make me feel better about myself. maybe that's what i was doing yeah but that's it's subconscious don't worry
Starting point is 03:31:50 about that those uh those like sweet treats that have artificial sugar and whatnot like that and they're like they're like protein snacks i'll link it i found some of these at the grocery store like yesterday it was the chocolate flavor though of these zach if you can bring them up because i got to do a psa these things they taste really good and they're only like 180 calories 20 grams of protein but like the amount of fiber in them it's two ounces it's not huge but like it's not a lot it's not a lot but i didn't six dollars sometimes i get like if i if i eat i didn't yes effectively yes i bought it at the grocery store it was not that price they were selling them individually i don't know what they cost and i bought like four of the chocolate like cinnamon bun things because i'm like oh this is you know i could eat all four of these and get 80 grams of
Starting point is 03:32:55 protein and it's only you know if i get too high yes and i uh i ate like one of them last night and i was like i can tell this isn't real chocolate it's got that kind of artificial sugary erythritol or whatever taste yeah i knew going in sometimes that messes with my tummy a little bit but i was like oh that was good take a couple toots off the weed pen suddenly a second and a third one are looking good i eat those and then i was walking to get another diet pepsi out of my fridge like an hour later. And I'm like, I'm not going to eat three of the four. I'll just clear the whole thing out. And I ate the fourth one.
Starting point is 03:33:29 And I got so unbelievably gassy. And it wasn't like normal smelling farts. I farted so bad in the shower today that I like to take a nice relaxing hot shower. I'm done cleaning. I just stand in there for a while. and I just let the water rush over me. It feels good. And I farted at that stage of my shower, and I had to cut my own pleasure. You got to get out of here.
Starting point is 03:33:54 I feel afraid. I'm in the shower. My eyes are burning. It was thick in the air. Is this steam or mustard mustard gas there were naked victims wandering out their their clothes having been burned off like it was so if you're gonna eat these stick to one because four and i didn't read until this morning i think that was like 200 of my daily fiber that i had over the course of about 90 minutes. And that plus, because if it was just
Starting point is 03:34:25 like regular fiber, I would have got gassy. But that artificial sugar, something mixed with something else in my body and created- Sugar alcohols? Yeah, maybe it was sugar alcohols. Sugar alcohol does that to me. One of my favorites- I've had those, not banana cream, but those are good. I use a sweetener called Swerve and they make confectioner's sugar brown sugar and regular sugar but it's artificial and it has very few calories but it's sugar alcohol
Starting point is 03:34:51 and it gives me the upsetting amounts of gas but it makes now you can make like sticky sweet and spicy like Chinese food chicken have you ever farted so long that you had a thought in the middle of the fart that you should that you should have timed it and that entire thought
Starting point is 03:35:13 also resolved within the breadth of the fart yes yeah i i i've farted so much that my ass hurt it was like a tire leak because it wasn't like an explosive like it was just uh i'm farting i can't believe this is i should have timed this far my i went outside after a while the room was was ruined oh it was it was thick in my bathroom earlier today after i i can't i can't do the sugar alcohol if i'm going to be around other human beings even the animals flee the room. I didn't like the smell of my own fart. Oh. It was like, this is bad. How many grams
Starting point is 03:35:51 of fiber was in there? I think every realistically, every bun was like 40% of your daily fiber. And so I had 160% of my daily fiber over the course of 90 minutes or so because i i don't really drink sodas and like these ollie pops have nine grams of uh fiber in it and anywhere
Starting point is 03:36:15 yeah i've had those yeah it's like two grams two two two grams of sugar and i'll drink like two or three of these a day and they'll definitely make you gassy. So back to Derek. Why lock and load? Why lock and load? How did we come up with the thing? Is that something you guys made with him? Yes. Shut up.
Starting point is 03:36:37 It was our idea. I had been doing my own load stack already because I was taking about 28 pills a day or something like that. So I was like, what's four more? So I was adding in soy lecithin and a few other ingredients to increase my load. And so we talked after a show one time.
Starting point is 03:37:01 I was like, we should make it. And Taylor was too. I was like, we should make this product. We could do this. And I was like, do you a uh and taylor was too i was like we should make this product we could do this and i was like do you want me to message derrick and see if he'll do this and i was like had to write the most awkward whatsapp message ever as an open to derrick like hey hi acquaintance yeah well i mean we were already going back and forth because of my like uh weight lifting and diet and stuff but but it was just like, hey, silly question here, but what if we made a supplement that increased your load size?
Starting point is 03:37:33 Maybe I was even saying your seminal fluid size or whatever I said. I was like, is that crazy? And I expect him to be like, ha, ha, it's so silly. That'd probably make money, wouldn't it? Oh, well, we'll never know. But he was like, I know a lot of guys who have load stacks themselves i'll pick their brains let me get back to you around tuesday good and i'll see what i can drum up what are you on right now perfect yeah well that's actually you could you could take more of that and your your liver will actually process just about as much as you and it yeah absolutely just back immediately was
Starting point is 03:38:05 on the ball and had like he's like he knew people to go to who had their own load stacks that they had and he was going to ask them and then and then he was down the rabbit hole of him sourcing ingredients and figuring out the price model and the the efficacious dose and all that stuff and then guinea guinea pig testing on us we started and it was going to have to be um like a pre-workout style multiple scoop thing like it's because you have to take so much of this stuff to be 100 effective and i was like dude yeah no one's gonna make shakes out of this nobody's gonna make to make disgusting fruity drinks. So what is it? It's pills. It's pills. We got everything.
Starting point is 03:38:47 How many do you take? Nine a day. Five in the morning and four at night. They're normal size capsules. And that's down from 18 or so. It was going to have to be 18. And then we found a way to get the efficacious dose and half that. And so we were like, all right, if we go any lower in pill requirement than this, it's not going to actually work. And at the end of the day, it has to actually work
Starting point is 03:39:06 or people are going to just buy it as a novelty and never get it again. Interesting. And so what's the result or the objective? Are you increasing volume? Is it like viscosity? Yeah, big tums. Volume? Viscosity, pearlescence. Precum? Precum. Yeah, volume, pearlescence. Precum.
Starting point is 03:39:26 Precum. Yeah, volume, pearlescence, precum. And length of orgasm. Because you're just going and going. That's true. Your cum is better. It feels better. I was measuring my fluid output very carefully. I would gas them into a condom, and and then I draw it out with a filthy syringe
Starting point is 03:39:46 and then take exacting measurements. And, uh, and it was like three and a half fold is like 350% as much. It's, it's an absurd amount that you actually do come when you take them. It's almost like a fucking gag gift for your girlfriend more than anything. It's absurd.
Starting point is 03:40:03 So you guys have, you guys have the promo stack with your ads like stack bluetooth and this we know our client base what's the um what's the timeline on that do you take it for a week for a month to see the results or what within two weeks two weeks yeah it's a month supply bottle so and within two weeks you'll be you may not be at your peak yet in two weeks in fact you probably won't within two weeks but you will be i've said i've said before like you won't have to be thinking about it like you will come at some point when you're fucking or whatever you're doing and if you've been taking it for about
Starting point is 03:40:39 two two and a half weeks you'll just organically not even thinking about it be like oh fuck that was a lot of cum what the fuck like that's way you have any other variables that you take it i'm i'm i'm getting hydrated i was gonna say hydration hydrated because there's a lot of stuff in there and i'm like hydration is just you have to do it for for most stuff to work yeah it's fucking hilarious it's so funny um because we've all told our dads at one point that we're in the jizz biz and yeah my grandma knows yeah his grandma knows my grandparents know that he was born in the 40s she was she wasn't born in this anybody give you guys reviews oh yes we have a ton of positive reviews yeah yeah yeah we ask for people to send their
Starting point is 03:41:25 their uh like videos of their their jisms to taylor's twitter shut up or they can put it on an sd card and mail it to woody care of uh woody at jizzbiz.org um that's not a real don't dot gov now i'm glad we got that there was a there was a fight for a while, but Woody had a guy pull some strings. Dot gov. That's awesome. But yeah, it's really crazy. We sell tens of thousands of bottles of the stuff. We've got to be the biggest player in the jism enhancing supplement business. My main enemy in the crew is major load because
Starting point is 03:42:06 fuck you major load his bottle has like an army major on it like looking all intense and it you know just the pun is uh is just are you guys in truck stops no we're all we should be though i've been saying for a while we should be we should find some way to get the bottles like i'll drive them to the fucking starship i don't know if starship is ubiquitous nationwide but that's like the dirty porno store where you can go get like lube and like dildos and stuff dude honestly we should lion's den uh distribution like if we could get in lion's den and adam and eve places like that risque You ever go to a cafe risque? No.
Starting point is 03:42:46 Is that like a cafe? That's like a burlesque. It's it. That makes it sound 10,000 times as fancy as what it is. A cafe inside a burlesque show. No, it's a waffle house inside a whore house. It was one pole.
Starting point is 03:43:01 So like I've told this story before, but it's, it's too fucking funny. Um, or at least it is to me because i come from this small small christian little town and some whoever was on the the board that approves business licenses or what have you they thought cafe risque was a hamburger family restaurant is how i heard it phrased. It is in fact a strip club,
Starting point is 03:43:25 a topless strip club that has, that serves food and sells porno DVDs. And they plopped it down right off the interstate. As it's the first thing you see when you get off the interstate to Livonia was Cafe Risque. They put billboards for 20 miles in every direction. Cafe Risque exit nine or whatever the fuck it is i don't even recall but it was this eyesore bright yellow and orange signage huge
Starting point is 03:43:53 bright yellow and orange cafe risque and it was like toys lubes dvds and sexy ladies and there's like a like a silhouette of a woman and again small little christian i've seen these signs they're all up and down if you if you drive from georgia to florida because i think there's multiple ones down there that's where lock and load should be right on the shelf at a cafe risque you need you need your packaging to be shotgun shells in some kind of design and the pills are stacked inside of it dude you would sell tons of them at gas stations. Oh, you want to make like a one day, a one day bullet shot of lock and load.
Starting point is 03:44:32 Yeah. Just try it out. Give it a shot. We would need them to buy a lot. He's coming back for the next two weeks. The consumer that, you know, it's not going to work.
Starting point is 03:44:42 Daily dose won't do it. I'm afraid you'd have to dig daily. It takes a daily dose to do it. Well, you can do it but you have to take it rectally. Now, if you take it rectally, you'll immediately, if you sound with it as well, that's the other thing I've heard of people doing, getting those
Starting point is 03:44:57 capsules just straight into their... A single day dose won't do anything. You got to get it in your system. Actually, I wanted to ask, how's the food at cafe risque i'm gonna be honest it wasn't that bad like what did you get a burger and fries and it's hard to fuck that up because they've got a griddle right there like how do you mess it up it's like waffle house waffle house burgers are good while this food's good if you ask me. And the food was okay. I only ate there like once or twice. Honestly, we'd mostly go there
Starting point is 03:45:28 because it was the only thing open at one or two in the morning besides Waffle House, and they had a pool table. So we'd shoot pool, and there'd be like one snaggletooth bitch over there dancing on the pole that you just didn't even want to really look at because it was awkward.
Starting point is 03:45:42 The environment was all off. The vibe was weird, you know? You saw really look at because it was awkward the environment was all off the vibe was weird you know like you can just saw us you saw us look at her you can smell the beef cooking you know and there she is right on that they have the one pole in the whole place and i just wanted to shoot cool man it was rough in there yeah some of the reviews the county bought it the county bought it back from them and bulldozed the facilities to the ground and put a and put a cracker barrel there it's some of them cafe risque one in Livonia is but they have more in Florida yeah
Starting point is 03:46:11 there's one in Florida some reviews a couple of the reviews are mentioning nothing but like the quality of a barbecue burger and how much they enjoy can you imagine like putting your public like like steve willoughby here uh i loved the barbecue burger at this porn shack that i went
Starting point is 03:46:34 on a business trip not to my wife's knowledge like that ballsy dude boomers and public reviews are insane it's unreal like They'll just leave comments for all to see about strip clubs. It's like your daughter follows this account. Your last review was... How she works there, Taylor. You think it's a big secret? She introduced me
Starting point is 03:46:58 to the barbecue burger. For $18.99, you get a lap dance, a barbecue burger, and chili cheese fries. Remember, everyone, ask for cinnamon. That's not a topping, is it? My granddaughter. I'm so proud. I'm going by Nutmeg now, Grandpa.
Starting point is 03:47:20 That's like an even trashier spice to be named after. Let's hear it for nutmeg yeah she comes out with one good leg what are the ugly girls spice like fennel that's an ugly girl spice bay leaf i don't know really fat chick named powdered sugar no that by far the worst strip club i've ever attended. I haven't been to a bunch of strip clubs, though. I think it's like four or five times.
Starting point is 03:47:51 But they were, they all, that place was the worst. It was disgusting. Yeah, you have to go to strip clubs. They feel seedy because they are seedy. I just don't like the deal. You know what I mean? I don't like the business arrangement that we have going where you pretend like you're into me and I keep putting money on the floor while you ride around.
Starting point is 03:48:09 You want to talk about role play? You might as well have a big silly hat on your head and your eyes blacked out when you walk into that place if you think those girls like you. If they pretended to be... Hello, Count Olaf here from a far land away with a few shackles. Which bar wench would like
Starting point is 03:48:25 some of my shackles? Do you ever go to Vegas for shot or anything? Of course. Yeah. I was a groomsman in Phil DeFranco's wedding. We went to Vegas for the
Starting point is 03:48:41 bachelor party and everything. He had a friend arrange some stuff uh yes go shoot guns or whatever um i don't even actually remember what we did during the day i just remember the bad experience at the the strip club um where you know they you go there in the limo or whatever um and then you go to the vip area and like they ask you like what are you into like far as women blah blah blah or whatever um and the the craziest thing was was my dog's freaking out um it's like we go to the area and all your friends are here, which makes it even weirder.
Starting point is 03:49:26 And the girl comes over, sits down or whatever. And then everyone starts dancing, the exception of my girl. Apparently, what happened was the guy told them that we're internet people, had social media followings. And she sat down, started asking me about how to grow her audience online and i shit you not i had to pay to like give her a master class in social media marketing for like five or ten minutes because she was trying to get enough money so that she could get custody of her kid. I can't make this up. No, it's believable.
Starting point is 03:50:10 So it wasn't like this was pre-OnlyFans days. Do you remember her name? I don't. But she had a GoFundMe. So this is like pre-OnlyFans stuff, right? So she'd get people, I guess, to figure that out or whatever she's like trying to figure out how to grow her audience on youtube and and twitter and everything is like am i the only fucking person who's ever been in this situation it's like i'm not mad i guess um probably you're
Starting point is 03:50:38 like hey can you at least you know swing your tits around while I tell you how algorithms work. Because I feel taken advantage of here. You look over at everybody else and they're just looking at me like, what are you doing? I'm like, it's not me, I promise. While you were doing this business consulting, was she topless? Yeah.
Starting point is 03:50:58 Yeah. Honestly, I try to block it out now because I was like, yeah, they're not my cup of of tea not a great time yeah man you got roped in i mean i mean i like whores i just don't like the fake ones like like i i wanted to fuck whores not to like ogle them i'm not here to look like you know what i mean like that's why I appreciate the, the,
Starting point is 03:51:25 the, um, the, the strippers who are prostitutes as well. Like, you know, like, like don't nickel and dime me here.
Starting point is 03:51:31 Just let me know what this thing costs. You've said before, like $200. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it depends on the girl, but like,
Starting point is 03:51:40 I remember the, the stripper that we were talking to in LA, it was like $600 or something like that to like come back to the hotel room or whatever it's not even as expensive as the blood test you need afterward not nearly as expensive no but it was like $200 I think
Starting point is 03:51:55 in Dallas Houston Houston the meal that I bought for her was more expensive than her vagina was to rent. Ah, gross. To be fair, it was a delicious meal. It was pretty expensive.
Starting point is 03:52:12 I wonder how many men a prostitute has slept with lifetime. What's her body count? Four digits? Probably. If she's in that business. There's no way they're in that business for the long haul like they're gonna get out by some other younger crop of prostitutes in the next now not anymore
Starting point is 03:52:32 like like again i i i want to segue this into like this i feel like we we can take whores and youtube selective monetization process and meld them together yes we'll call it twitch that's twitch all right yeah no on youtube though i've been i've been super into what i'll call the try on girls now these are these are ladies i'll say because they run their age is like the full like gambit. They are old ladies, middle aged ladies, housewives, and also like young hotties who are just trying transparent clothes on in front of the camera for like. And there's like a big disclaimer at the beginning of every video where it's like this isn't to be sexually arousing or titillating in any way whatsoever this is strictly for educational purposes educational purposes only educational purposes only and then it's like there's her pussy there's her pussy and i swear to god like that you might have to dig around a little bit with the transparent lingerie try on girls 4k and search that yeah um
Starting point is 03:53:42 you might want to search around a little bit cigarette out of me no what you don't want to do some of them are absolute smoke shows some of them are are absolute smoke shows just nines out of tens and then there's also just like there's like everything everything and and some of them don't show much some of them are kind of doing what they claim to do. They'll put on nipple covers, nipple tape underneath the garment so you can't even see their nipples through it. Skip that right the fuck away. You head south from there.
Starting point is 03:54:13 And then all of a sudden there's girls who just have their tits out. Completely transparent, the flimsiest thing ever. And then there are girls who have their whole pussies out too. They'll be wearing a nightgown. This is still in the try on genre. Yes.
Starting point is 03:54:28 Fine. Fine. Transparent nightgown. Try on do that one because then they have a short 90, 90 transparent night. Cause you, you want the one that comes together like a robe. Um,
Starting point is 03:54:37 cause, cause that chick is like moving. I hear why L I N G G E R I E. And so she'd be like, she She's moving around and flashing her twat continuously. There's not even any fabric between the twat anymore. Again, we're monetized. We're on YouTube still.
Starting point is 03:54:56 I'm seeing sometimes it's a little sketchy. Most of what I like to see seems to be OnlyFans girls or lusty single moms who are trying to make a few dimes or some of them just clearly just want attention. They're older gals and they enjoy the attention. But then there's this other side where the girl's moving her mouth, but there's no audio. And I get like a Ukrainian older lady telling me what's happening.
Starting point is 03:55:24 This is Natasha. You look very sexy in nightgown. Very nice four-case transparency. Yeah? Yeah, you like? And it's like, what's now you think about all this? Yeah. This is a video of a woman in a
Starting point is 03:55:39 completely see-through nightie with her ass facing the camera. You can see her pussy and she's cleaning a window let me just yeah i just linked one i think it's nothing in this so it's not sheer it's uh there's like big holes in it large enough to pass like you know i don't know quarters through and you just it's you can see everything you can see how she shaves her pubes it's a great oh that's very common that they'll they'll have like a big landing strip so they can show that off like like the comments and these are wild you know what let me guess let me guess
Starting point is 03:56:18 sometimes they'll be like um like she should be asking like if you like the red out the red panties the blue panties she doesn't fucking care okay obviously but they'll be asking, like, if you like the red panties, the blue panties. She doesn't fucking care, okay, obviously. But they'll be like, red for sure. Red for sure. And they'll suit your figure, your beautiful figure. God, I would love for you to have my babies. And it's some 75-year-old man who doesn't understand the internet.
Starting point is 03:56:40 Dude, this woman's pussy lips are just hanging out. The comments are... Don't link it, though. I could watch this. All right right let me let me do a little let me say you're so right woody i can't believe i didn't this is fact checking really and the one of the top comments is i love the way your curtains hang so nicely you are getting so good at cleaning videos and And then he gave her an 8 out of 10. Room for improvement. 8 out of 10.
Starting point is 03:57:08 Love the wizard sleeve. OMG, you relaxed me so much. You helped me release all the stress I had accumulated. A lot of stuff in Russian or Cyrillic language. This is how to clean. And she's wearing sheer clothes and shooting from the back. She's cleaning a window.
Starting point is 03:57:26 Like, like Taylor said, but that allows the light to shine through the sheer dress and really give off her silhouette. Oh, it's funny. I was trying to explain to somebody the other day, we were talking about like that whole scene and like how things have
Starting point is 03:57:40 progressed over time. I was like, you know, the OG, like the, like original, like the like original like the i guess the matriarch of all of them was charlie james 1975 oh yes i she was like she was pretty but from the neck down her body had absolutely zero room for
Starting point is 03:58:01 improvement that was she was like yeah beautiful as a human being can be yeah and she like she like she spearheaded the whole instagram thought like jesus kyle you too that's the letter right i mean yeah it's just a naked lady it's basically like i thought mine was as far as you could go and then here we are trust me i me, I'm a connoisseur. It's got a Coca-Cola ad on it. I watch a few dozen hours of these a day, and I'm a big fan. What's great is they upload daily. They upload daily, a lot of these gals. It must take 90 seconds to make this kind of content.
Starting point is 03:58:42 I mean, there's no script. There's nothing. Yeah, but you haven't thought about the amount of time locked in a cell by it's absolutely wild um and then the other one was was the breastfeeding guy the other day where she gave up on the fake dummy like halfway through and just started rubbing her tits she's like, after you breastfeed, you might want to massage your titties for five minutes. And I'm like, I mean, you might,
Starting point is 03:59:12 but do we need to see all five minutes of it? Do we want to do it with full face of makeup? Yeah. Dr. Dish's back got demonetized. Where? On YouTube. His channel, like you can't be a partner anymore i guess there's a couple ways like you make 4.6 million subscribers wow this guy commented saying i love your nose ring you
Starting point is 03:59:33 have to be fucking gay to notice this woman has a nose ring in there is no i i could have watched this a thousand times i never would have noticed which nose ring. Which video? The one Kyle linked. Did you notice a nose ring? By the way, I know everybody's going to want to see the one. It's got kind of a long title. The YouTube channel is Lilumoon L-I-L
Starting point is 03:59:57 O-O space moon. And she has a video called 4K Try-On Haul Clothes Very very transparent and see-through bodysuit no bra 2024 and i'm gonna be honest she's not i'm not gonna be mean or anything she's just completely naked that's why this is the one to to just see how absurd this policy is whatever allows you to do this is crazy like and monetize it i don't i don't get it this is just says there's explicit content link in the description oh what is this yeah what's more okay i'm sure she's got an only
Starting point is 04:00:33 fans like like like a lot of these girls are pimping their only fans with this um but but again some of them are just like thirsty housewives which is which is pretty funny too there'll be some older gals in there no she is well she's something very impressive very impressive this sensational piece extenuates the combination of elegance and allure with a hint of sophistication and show-stopping vibes what they didn't even bother with the good ai what a weirdo this guy's maybe is that your real face brother like in your fucking profile picture oh man i didn't know this corner of youtube got so wild this is just porn yeah yeah you know yeah if you really want to keep going down the rabbit hole you can find uh the pubic hair shaving guides um the pubic hair waxing guides.
Starting point is 04:01:26 Then you can go into naked yoga, but you got to be careful because that bubble touches some underage stuff. It gets weird over in India. Again, shit country. The breastfeeding guide is great. That chick gets rid of that dummy 30 seconds into the video. They're just trying to get past one moderator.
Starting point is 04:01:44 Yeah, they're teaching. She's teaching. Class is in session, madam. Next video. Oh, what is that? What is that, a 12-gauge murder cannon? No, no, no. Got a gun channel to shut down. Yeah.
Starting point is 04:02:01 Well, I know everyone's got a debate to go laugh at. Four hours just flies by when you're having fun and being awful richard thank you for for joining us today always good to catch up to you and get a little peek into your your world glad it's all going so well yeah all right pka 706

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