Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #214
Episode Date: January 27, 2015This week on PKA, old school badass, OpTic Midnite joins the cast to talk about Call of Duty, building your own business & those who attack them, losing YouTube channels, and Wings' weight talk....
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And we are live.
Pink and already episode 214.
Big one.
We just want everyone to remember that this episode of PKA is brought to you by Squarespace,
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Fuck, I fucked it up.
Can we start over?
I like it.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
That's a keeper.
Forge ahead.
That's a keeper.
It adds character.
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They offer no help in learning how to read.
No, they don't help.
You were rushing me.
You were rushing me.
I was like, are you ready? I was asked. Nobody was rushing you
Yeah, you have all the time in the world. We need to get you fucking Rosetta Stone English to promote that was bad
Did the PKA website use Squarespace you tell and it looks awful
you know and it looks awful no it's not done and it's been like a year that's probably why that's what happens when you don't use squarespace you look like a bitch
when are we gonna get that thing done and and what services will it provide or offer
i don't know it's funny like it out of the blue one day i was getting all this hate like people were following me around on reddit
like fussing about the pka forums but i had like no idea what the genesis of all this complaining
was like i i've been i've been offline a lot like meeting with contractors and stuff on the new house
and i come home one night and it's just filled with all i'm like i don't know why you guys are
hating on me like what did i do now i didn't even do anything. I was off. I was away from, I may have K.
But, yeah.
I saw a lot of people appreciated your handwriting, Kyle.
Yes.
A lot of compliments.
Yes.
Very kind.
Yeah, I write in cursive.
There are people, I find that people who don't know how to write in cursive,
I feel like they don't teach it anymore, you know?
So, it's slowly becoming like an older person's code.
It's virtually calligraphy at this point.
There are so many people who cannot read or write cursive,
and I think it's funny.
Are you sure?
They really don't teach cursive anymore?
No, they don't, no.
I remember they made us do it for like an entire month
at my grade school,
and all you could do all month was cursive,
otherwise it wasn't accepted.
It's awful.
I remember shit like that, like where your third grade teacher is putting the fear
of god into you like they won't read print after this year when you go to high school this is how
it's gonna be like okay everybody this is our guest optic midnight hello i was actually on
before do you remember it was 107 so over 100 episodes ago
I was here and now I'm here again
she's a returning guest
like two years ago
yeah that was a long time ago
and I don't think Kyle was on that episode
so now it's like
it's almost like
it's different yeah this is like
this isn't even the same
no it is but
that was a long time ago yeah yeah this podcast is just
a revolving door of hosts right this is actually optic midnight's tryout to replace me yeah this
is this is my recruitment challenge right now exactly things go well i'm out of here
we're gonna get really meta and remove the guy who started it.
Go off on our own.
That's it. Be the Kyle
and Erica Optics Show.
PK Midnight. I'm changing the name.
As long as Taylor
has to do the ad reads in the new
configuration, Taylor will do the ad reads.
And I will do nothing.
I'll do what you saw in the upload button.
Yeah.
Exactly. What did I miss what a tailor say there's it I you'll move up to my position nothing I'm here
dude so we were going to talk about the Microsoft monetization rules or whatever.
Yes.
Apparently, you just informed me that they weren't new.
These are old, but not like a new thing.
Right.
You know, so I used to do this thing called Huppet Gaming.
And, oh, I remember.
Just now I remembered why we looked into it.
So the original concept behind Huppet, like before there was even a website and this thing that like matched up gamers together, was it was going to be a network like Machinima.
Like when we first started talking about it at all, Machinima didn't do as good a job as they did now.
So we were like, ah, we'll be a better Machinima than Machinima is.
That was the idea.
So we started looking deep into all the like rights.
You know, we were talking to Activision.
We were talking and started reading rights and they were out there
that's why I have an in-depth understanding of the old rules I did
because of this Huppet idea that never really went anywhere we were gonna I
started reading the the rules they were from bungee and from Microsoft etc in
detail and that's why I happen to know them. Anyway, this thing about like, you know,
not being able to post content and stuff,
it hasn't really changed at all.
Like I know it was updated in January,
but I can hardly spot the difference
between this and what there was before.
And by the way, like as I read it,
it doesn't seem nearly as restrictive
as like certain unreliable news channels might
might say they are like uh let me see you may make your item available on youtube or twitch
and participate in programs on those sites that allow you to earn revenue from ads displayed in
connection with your item so it's like you can upload to youtube and twitch and you can earn ad
money doesn't that seem contrary to what i've heard before like before it's like, you can upload to YouTube and Twitch and you can earn ad money.
Doesn't that seem contrary to what I've heard before? Like before it was like, you can't earn a dollar off this stuff. The only thing is like, they're like, what did it say? It said something
like, if you have a paid video, you can't use this in such a way that makes you think that
Microsoft is behind it. And they're really just protecting themselves. You know, they license third party songs,
but they can't necessarily transfer that license to you.
That doesn't sound out of the normal,
out of the norm at all
with regards to these sort of things.
You can't use game content
to create pornographic, lewd, obscene, vulgar stuff.
The thing about not being able to use the game in the title,
it says you can't use the title
of the name of the Microsoft game to give the impression that Microsoft is the source in the title. It says you can't use the title of the name of the Microsoft game
to give the impression that Microsoft is the source of this thing. It, you know, but you can
certainly say, you know, watch me beast and Halo three. You just can't say like, you know, from
the makers of Halo three, this thing, like you can't imply that it's from Microsoft. I'm not
seeing much in here that changes things at all. And by the way, it says you can make it available on YouTube or Twitch.
It doesn't exclude Vimeo or whatever, you know, Ustream or Hitbox or whatever you have it.
It just says that it includes two.
It excludes none.
So, I know everyone's all up in arms because everyone likes a good anger session, I suppose.
But I'm not seeing anything in here to get mad about.
There's nothing new.
Yeah, and a lot of people started freaking out initially thinking it was just like Xbox One and Xbox 360 games are going to be umbrellaed under this.
But it's really just Microsoft made games like Halo, Forza Motorsport, stuff like that.
So personally, I don't really play or post too much of those games, so I don't really see a problem with it.
But I'm wondering if other publishers, like, would Activision ever even consider this?
Is the whole, like, streaming and YouTube side of Call of Duty too big to kind of mess with that?
I don't really know.
Even if Activision jumped on board, I don't see anything that impacts like you say activision the cod community like it doesn't impact them at all
you can still upload to youtube you can still upload twitch you can probably still upload
anywhere else it doesn't say that those things are exclusive it just has those things as inclusive
you can still earn ad money on these things like there's nothing in here that causes
earn ad money on these things.
There's nothing in here that causes any waves whatsoever.
Everyone's upset about it, but
if you read it with your own thinking cap
on, I don't know what
they're upset about.
What did they say about lewd or lascivious
content?
Yeah, that's if you make some sort of porno with
Cortana. That's if you got some
Cortana porn going on.
Oh, they're trying to get rid of Rule 34.
It won't succeed.
Exactly what that is.
And then you have to ask how aggressive are they
going to be about enforcing
this stuff. But yeah.
Cortana's one of the hottest video game characters ever, right?
Especially by Halo 4.
Cortana.
I can't even picture her.
Yeah, the little blue chick that's inside Master Chief's head.
Oh.
What?
That's your favorite?
You guys don't play...
Nobody plays Halo.
I played Halo.
I'm checking out her body right now.
Years ago.
Yes, no complaints.
Can I get a link for science?
I don't know.
Yes.
And you definitely want like Halo 4
Cortana
she got hotter as time went on
I want Halo 1
Cortana when she's got like
8 pixels in her face
no I
you want updated Halo 4 Cortana
very hot
so they would not be in favor of very very disgusting porn posted Halo 4 Kartana. Very hot.
So they would not be in favor of very, very disgusting porn posted
online of this character. That's something they
wouldn't care for.
How dare they even put her in the game then?
Let's see if I can find some of that.
That'd be a shame if some of our listeners
or viewers started making
artwork of the character, doing things,
and then posting it yes that would make
microsoft very upset it would and i would be 100 against it i think it's immature and uncalled for
right yeah uh so um so yeah i i shucks i feel like i killed the whole debate thing we would
have been more fun to sit there and be uninformed and rant about problems
that don't really exist but fuck i mean it's you and your facts your logic just working through it
like hey let's take this big topic well we're three minutes into it and we kind of debunked it
uh up next like just we need to get more what's going on justified yeah, just idiots being idiots, really.
I'll tell you what the internet loves, man.
It's a reason to get mad and angry about something.
They thought that this was it.
Some of this Cortana porn
is just hardcore.
For science?
Don't link that.
Some of the user-created stuff
on some of these art websites are crazy.
Microsoft would not approve.
Most of this, yeah.
Oh, my God.
Now, if you want to...
That thing...
This is what we're really talking about.
Is that like some kind of mod?
Dude, you know what's bad?
I think I'm subtly racist because Cortana is this blue chick.
And when she's not having sex with blue men, I'm like,
I expected her
to have sex with Cortanos
or whatever.
Why is she doing it with humans?
You need to keep the races pure.
Exactly.
There's one...
Come on.
There's one here where she's having
some strap-on play with
another lady.
Let's see. There's lots of these.
Oh, it's a gif! That's even better!
It's a gif?
I have to visit the page. I want to find what website.
Yes, a gif.
It's a gif. Let's see.
It's a gif for a gif.
It's over on Tim Possible's Porn Purgatory.
Look at this guy.
She's getting fucked by a predator in this picture
People are creative
I didn't realize that
Master Chief is like a
regular white guy penis
but I can see here that that is definitely the case
It's very disappointing, I wanted it to be kind of
robotic
Man, I forgot how crazy it was
Dang
You see, if you go to that last link
and the top left square,
that's what I was referring to.
But there's a lot of stuff on here.
There she is.
I'm not sure.
I'm turning safe results back on.
Good lord.
She's getting nailed in every hole
from every direction in all this different color.
What the heck?
Like every character.
Yeah.
We are like five minutes into PKA and Katana has already.
Oh, wow.
So in this one, she's taking it from the back.
Oh, and it's a gif.
But the thumb is in the rear.
Here.
I can share this with you guys.
I love search results because for some reason,
there's a Japanese woman being peed on
right here in the results.
You just know the two are related.
Everyone knows that.
Like, yeah, Cortana sex
and Japanese woman being peed on.
Peas in a pot.
Yeah, so while she's having vaginal sex in this,
that is definitely anal thumb action right there.
That is an ass thumb.
Looks like he's only got one knuckle in, a gentleman.
This is
to think that someone sat here
and made this. Do you ever see
shit like that on the internet where just to think
that someone made this, someone sitting
by themselves likely made
this. Hours. Hours.
Hours upon hours.
The whole time. They were probably taking breaks
between making this masturbating
cartoon stuff.
They went out to eat and then came back and was like,
oh, I'm going to finish the dick right here right after I eat.
This woman is about to get
donkey punched.
I don't like this one, actually.
That's kind of weird that the whole
Halo army or whatever is just going
in.
It's also like, look.
Are you looking at the one where she's
being banged by three guys at once?
Like she's down on Master Chief
and then she's getting double penetrated
by a couple of stormtroopers?
And she's totally a see-through.
Those two guys can see their dicks touching.
Basically. I like that. And she's totally see-through, so it looks like those two guys can see their dicks touching, basically. They can, yes.
I like that.
They're like, no, it's cool, man.
There's a thin membrane that's kind of invisible in there.
It's keeping it apart.
It's just straight.
High five.
It's not homo if you make eye contact.
Wouldn't that be a bit of a turn-off if you could see your dick in a mouth through the face?
Oh, no, that'd be great.
A translucent woman?
That's a ghost blowjob.
That's a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity, my friend. Who wouldn't want that?
Well, you could call them out for not trying.
I could see what's happening back there.
You're not even moving your ghost.
I can see it.
Yeah, this is...
Good God.
Before I came on here, I was wondering, you know,
how long until we look at porn?
Because I've been listening. I listen a lot.
And I'm like, you guys are surprised
in five minutes.
We hit it in the first couple seconds.
It's usually the second hours
when the porn happens, I noticed.
Yeah.
We got it done right away. I like that.
Bam.
Oh, it's not done.
It's a porn cast now.
It's just...
We're just going to look at people's thoughts.
Yeah, look at this gross thing I found.
Rule 34 is...
I love it.
I love the fact that for everything that you can imagine there is a porno
about it like
just
anything
make up a scenario Kyle that you don't think has a porn
made of it and then we'll try
and see
don't make it overly convoluted
think of something and then we'll try and find it
midget transsexual
like the midget is a transsexual or a midget's with a trans find it. Midget transsexual. Like the midget is a transsexual
or a midget's with a transsexual?
A midget transsexual.
I'm talking about a male midget
born a man
who now dresses as a woman
and may or may not be post-op.
Yeah, I'm saying post-op.
I'm looking for a post-op
little person transsexual.
I want breast implants on a male midget.
It's okay if he still has his penis,
but he has to be on hormone therapy.
I want shrunken genitalia,
and he has plans to have the surgery done.
That's what I'm looking for.
You will not find that ad.
That is actually probably pretty hard.
Yeah, I feel, yeah.
Any kind of variance in the midget porn subsection of the internet is very difficult to come by. Yeah, I feel, yeah. Any kind of variance in the midget porn
subsection of the internet is very difficult to come by.
Dude, I remember old school.
Operations might be hard to find.
Old school PKA, this is what happened.
We were trying to find midget porn,
which you think would be easy, but
this particular variant of midget porn,
we wanted midget on midget porn.
It was easy to find women midgets,
it was easy to find guy midgets, But a guy girl midget to get.
I think you're not supposed to call them midgets.
Little people together.
That was really difficult to find.
And then out of the blue.
T-Mark gives us a link.
I think we were live streaming or something.
And T-Mark supplies the link.
Bam.
Midget on midget porn.
It actually happened.
And then we find out later.
That the real brain power behind that search was
Mirka Durka.
It was actually him who came up and T-Mart was just the delivery boy.
That's next level.
That's like full circle because now he's on the show.
How'd you do it?
Fess up.
How'd you do it?
Yeah.
How'd you make that happen?
Google searching?
I think I just Googled it and then went through a few really seedy places on the internet
where you find it in Motherless
and then you get linked to fucking Fatherless
or some other even worse site.
And then eventually I found it after enduring 50 pop-ups.
And by that point, I'm like, someone has to have found it.
So I just gave it to Tmart.
Because I didn't want to be that douche who sent it in
and like, I found it! And they're like, yeah, we stopped talking about that
asshole 20 minutes ago.
But, yeah, it was
not a good porn. It wasn't
arousing.
I don't think you'll find that, but I bet that
a lot of random things that you would never
think are porn are probably porns.
There's probably
a fetish based around it.
For example, I bet there are guys who are
into fucking couches.
Let's look. Let's see if there's
a couch fucking... Couch fucking porn.
Yeah, I'm talking about guys who are...
See if you can find someone fucking that couch
that's in all those other porns.
Yes. Couch fucking
fetish. What if someone went
in for the casting couch and they just fucked it?
Like, they didn't even
want the person. They were just like,
I got the job, look.
Or like, he's doing
that creepy interview with the chick
when he's putting his finger in their mouth and they're clearly
uncomfortable and then he tells them to step to the side
and he just goes to town on the couch.
No, look! Watch! You have to watch!
I've been practicing for this moment for months.
Yeah.
You know those are fake, right?
Like the casting couch pornos?
Those are all pros.
I feel like porn is fake, isn't it?
Unless you've got a hidden camera.
It's all scripted and ready to go.
Well, there's nothing worse than when you click
what you think is amateur and it's really high quality.
Is it too nasty to show on the thing? Would that get me a strike?
I wouldn't show that one.
What if I raised it another inch?
Yeah, that's a bad life decision.
I want to know what moments led up in
this person's life to that moment of getting
that tattoo. I don't think there's
anything wrong with that.
I'm going to go up another inch just to be safe.
Yeah, just to cut off the
uterus. Yeah.
Cut off the uterus. So do you think
it's better now? I think that's better.
That's just a belly at this point.
Yeah. That's a belly button area that's better that's just a belly at this point yeah that's a belly button
area all right um let me just with this much cut off it looks like it could be a very poorly done
whale tail so here's this tattoo what do you guys think hot or not hot no no kyle that's disgusting anything disgusting you think it's insane yeah
yeah yeah that's horrific just just imagine it is like you didn't know before you got to that
point so like it's going well you're like yeah we're gonna totally do stuff and then you unbutton
your pants and it's like what i'm alone in this thing i swear like no yeah yeah i i do a sciencey
for me man this was on yeah that would be almost enough
to get me to say no this was on reddit almost this was on reddit at one point and uh everyone
was like oh it's gross man i don't like it but i think girl parts are cool like i i feel like i'm
alone in this thing but like you know i forget like every so often jackie will like there'll
be some reminder of the fact that she has like fallopian tubes and ovaries and all that fun stuff.
And it's like, yeah, man.
She's like total real life girl.
Right here.
Mine.
And I don't know.
I see this.
And I'm not thinking that it's gross.
This is what girls are.
It's definitely not gross.
It's just ink. But I mean, I don't know. It's definitely not gross. It's just ink.
But, I mean, I don't know.
Just, it's on the inside for a reason.
What if on the back you had, like, the intestinal tract?
So you, like, had, you know, the butthole and everything.
Right, right.
Like, would that be as sexy?
I don't think so.
No, I hear you.
I hear you.
I'm not really into colons and stuff.
But I just.
Something about the reproductive system there on the belly.
I'm like,
yeah,
I could,
I could get into that.
I could,
no,
you wouldn't want,
no one wants to see my reproductive organs like tattooed anywhere,
like outlines of my light balls on my scrotum or something.
I don't know what the equivalent would be.
Right.
Like,
you know,
everything.
You should wear those underwear with your,
like a penis on the front of the underwear. That would be the You should wear those underwear with your penis on the front
of the underwear.
Those are actually funny.
But that's not permanent. You can take those off.
This is just like...
What happens when she goes through menopause?
Is she going to have to get it edited?
I guess by that point it will have faded enough that it will be realistic.
That sounds like
the making of a good joke.
Her getting the tattoo lasered off and the guy's like, you never know what you're
going to want when you get older, huh?
And she's like, I have hysterectomy.
She has a knot put in one of her tubes
and added.
And she has hysterectomy.
Huh?
Yeah, just gone.
A big no smoking kind of style sign.
Yeah, but that's...
I don't really understand
what you're saying, Woody. What part of this
isn't terrible?
It's too in your face.
Not to me. It's distracting.
You're like, yeah, she's fertile. Let's go.
Yeah, I don't know.
Somehow the reminder of the fact that she
has an entire female reproductive
system is hot to me.
Yeah, but you have two kids.
That's a good reminder.
That is an awful reminder. There's nothing
less sexy than children.
That's why the door's locked.
Oh.
I get it.
Dude, so the house we bought,
the doors don't shut in the master bedroom.
Not only do they not shut
but there's like an inch space like there's a lock but if you just like so much as bump the
door a tiny bit it flies open and and you don't need to open it because there's like an inch and
a half wide space we're having it remodeled but um yeah i'm just like i don't i they had three
kids so something was going on. But yeah,
not a lot of privacy.
Have you moved any shit over there yet?
We move attic to attic stuff.
All the Christmas decorations
are moved over. A lot of sporting
equipment. Things I don't use every day.
The blowjob machine?
That's in the master pitch roof in our current house.
You're keeping that close to home.
You absolutely have to part with it.
Now, you and Jackie have experimented with that by now, right?
With the machine?
I have strict instructions not to talk about that thing.
And it's not so much...
Ah, that means yes.
I'm not embarrassed.
It's that I have children, a girl in high school, stuff like that.
So I'm not supposed to...
Figure it out.
Yeah, not supposed to talk yeah oh yeah that makes sense
about that at all i could ruin her social life but um uh but that's still in the house well what
was i gonna say yeah so basically we're moving stuff like that we don't use all the time when
are you like officially like we're moving i wish i knew that um So we're having pretty much every room painted.
And we're waiting for Time Warner to come in and install faster internet.
The upload there is 0.2 prior to getting fast internet.
So I feel like I can't work from there.
So we're here until everything gets done.
I should have faster cable this month, which is only two weeks left.
And then the remodeling will happen either this month or like a week into the following.
And then there'll be nothing holding us back.
But it feels like that time keeps going further and further out.
And I really wish that it was sooner.
Are you getting a line for internet run to your house?
Or do they actually have good internet where you're going?
Two lines lines actually.
So yeah, right now they have AT&T, which is dreadful.
And what we're going to do is have, it has a guest house.
So we're going to run a line to the guest house and a line to the main house.
And then I'll just run underground lines to connect them.
And it's something that we do today.
Like that way, like when Jackie's on Netflix and such, it doesn't impact me playing games or uploading or anything like that so i put the family on one line and i have another
that's kind of the business line yeah we've got two here it's it's really convenient because
sometimes the issues that would take one line down have nothing to do with the other
so i've been knocked a couple of times because one line would go down and, oh, we've got to back up.
You feel so isolated without internet.
At least I do.
A lot of the things that I...
I have activities during the day that don't involve the internet,
but they're at the very least supplemented
by the internet.
Maybe I'm doing something with a gun
and I'm like,
oh, do I push this pin from the left to right
or right to left on this AR?
And I've got to quickly look on the internet and find out.
Oh, no, I don't know anymore.
Well, I guess I'll wait until tomorrow to fix this gun.
Yeah, the internet is, like you said,
one, it's my brain extension.
Everything I do is sort of augmented by it,
and I can hardly pick a vendor you know
like if i just so much as needed weird batteries that go in a power tool or something yeah i don't
know where to buy those without the internet i like yeah it supplements everything you do
directions so i used to have a hard time um remembering to purchase things until i got the
amazon app on my phone.
And now, the moment I think of something,
I'm just like, I press one button,
I tell my phone what I want,
and I press two more, and it's shipped to my house.
The future is for the laziest people who have ever lived.
It's WALL-E.
Is that what the movie was called, WALL-E?
Yeah.
The Disney movie?
With the robot?
Oh, yeah.
It's like we're so spoiled with information that like i know what you're talking about the internet like if
i'll get enraged if like i'm like i wonder what other movies fucking will arnett is in and then
if the internet's down it's like oh i guess i just don't know this i don't know there's no way to
know am i gonna go to the library i'm not gonna go to a library? Am I going to go to Starbucks? No.
We're just spoiled.
It's a good thing to be spoiled with information.
It makes people smarter, kind of.
But not having internet sucks. The olden days must have been rough,
Woody. Having to go to the corner market
to see if they had the special batteries.
Riding your buggy back home empty-handed.
You might have to find
some expert. You might have to find a man
who's knowledgeable in that field
like Doc Elms might
know. Let's go find him.
Exactly. You literally use the high school
library to look stuff up.
Microfiche. I was a freaking master
at microfiber and microfiche
and microfiber might have been
the film. Microfiche and microfilm.
They just took magazines
and compressed them to every page was like a quarter inch and then you'd read it under a giant magnifying
glass that was high tech is that thing you see in like old detective movies where they're like
and it's like every newspaper from from that's ever been done and it sounds about right yeah
yeah the library would have like all these newspapers compressed in into these tiny
little films and like film negatives i'd look at those a lot um i used to be really into like
supercars and i just read like every car and driver from 10 years prior via microfiche
that was the old days but the e-commerce is as big a deal as the information you like it
i've said this many times but you know i need c batteries like i'm really going to remember to go
to the drugstore i'll just order it now and they'll show up two days later and it's like i got that
done yeah it's awesome amazon prime freaking oh yeah best thing two days shipping on everything
and they have they have virtually everything. I ordered new pistol
grips for my 1911
and a Lufa. They both arrive
tomorrow.
It's beautiful. Oh, speaking of guns,
I got my...
It took like three months for the paperwork to go through,
but I finally got my Chris Vector.
Let me zoom this out.
It took three months for that one yeah for the paperwork because it's an
SBR a short barrel rifle
so it has a five and a half inch barrel
this is a silencer co
suppressor
that I've got on here
but I'll just show you how short
the fucking barrel is once you take it off
that is not much of a barrel but I'll show you how short the fucking barrel is once you take it off.
That is not much of a barrel.
So,
when it's all folded up... What does it fire?
45 ACP.
I feel like this is a rude question,
but what does something like that cost?
I think $2,000.
That's actually less than I thought it would be.
I'm sure the scope is more.
Sorry, I cut out for a second.
$2,000.
I think it was right at $2,000.
I've been having a lot of fucking fun with it, because when it's got the suppressor on there, it's so, so
quiet. It sounds like a paintball gun.
Really? Because the.45
ACP is subsonic, so you
don't get that sound barrier crack.
Yeah, and this is
a really good suppressor.
This is the Osprey. I've got a couple
of, I've got two suppressors that will go on
my Vector, but I've
only been using this one so far, and I like it a lot.
But I was shooting it yesterday at my dad's house,
and it's literally about as loud as a paintball gun.
So I've got to get some extended mags for it.
But otherwise, it's really fucking cool.
I've been having fun.
Yeah, it's badass.
Are you going to make a video with it, or is that just a personal fun gun?
I actually already made a video with a...
This one's semi-automatic. I made a video with a
fully automatic one like two months
ago, I think. Yeah.
Hmm. Did you guys see
Team Art's video about the strikes?
It did. I actually had
the same problem.
Get out, really? Yeah.
So, you know, like back in the day
when it was totally normal to like put call of duty
black ops 2 in your in your description so it's like the norm then uh they they implemented
update an update to the terms of service and i knew about it so i'm like oh i better change that
so i changed all my defaults but i have like over a thousand uploads on my channel and i got lazy
admitted uh if I wouldn't
have been lazy and I would have just went through everything and made sure it was polished then I
would probably be fine but uh I didn't um luckily now actually when it happened because this kid
was like tweeting me and I didn't say anything back to him of course but I just wanted to see
if he would do anything and he did so I I wake up, and I have one strike for
four videos. And I'm like, oh,
I think what he tried to do was he tried to get each
video to count as one strike.
Four strikes, you know, three strikes you're out, so four strikes
would delete my channel, just like what happened
to OnlyUzzyBlade.
Is that what happened to OnlyUzzyBlade?
Yeah, that's what happened to him. I mean, I think he
got his back. Yeah, he got it back.
I don't think he's uploaded
to it yet.
But yeah, so what I did, so whoever
did this is awesome. I went to my videos,
I selected all of them, and I
mass updated every description, every
tag section to just be
whatever I wanted it to be appropriate
within the terms of service.
So yeah, it's really, I mean, these
people that do this.
So what, you mass updated all your descriptions?
Yeah, within like 10 seconds.
So that totally beats, you know, a year ago or something.
I probably would have went through one by one by one,
you know, just to double check.
But now, you know, I got into contact with Fwiz,
you know, because he works at Google, YouTube now.
So, you know, he put me in contact and just said, hey, like, just update your stuff. Be careful. Be really careful because there
are people that just, this is what they do. They get, I don't know why someone would go out of
their way to really kind of wreck what somebody else has been working on for a very, very long
time. Now, are you a managed channel? Yeah, I'm with MLg is my mcn so i contacted them of course obviously so
so even though they were able to give you a strike because it's much harder to strike a
managed channel maybe maybe i'm not managed um under them but they they're the ones that were
helping me out so i don't know why it didn't count as multiple strikes it technically probably
could have should have possibly, but either way,
it's completely malicious what they're doing.
I was just like screencapping basically everything
that this person was doing to interact with me
and screencapped me changing everything.
So I should be okay now, but it's just weird, man,
just why people would want to go out of their way
to just rain on someone else's parade or, you know.
Yeah, I think it's...
I've been posting
youtube videos for almost five years now so it's like really like a couple year old video you're
gonna go and do that it seems like they lack the empathy to understand like just how how much effort
and how much it matters right like to them it's a joke like yeah like lol i just threw a brick
through your window at the storefront.
Isn't that funny?
And it's like, oh, you don't get it.
I handcrafted that stained glass.
That meant so much to me.
It's one of the biggest achievements I've ever had in my life,
and you're just wiping it out for smiles.
Yeah, it's totally weird and just malicious.
So if you're a content creator just watch out
make sure you're I mean the crappy thing
was is those videos that I had I mean this was
like the norm to do for every big
YouTuber so
when they came out with the rule
it makes sense that it's retroactive
but I never really cared enough
and I guess I should have
that it was retroactive and even though
my videos at the time
they were uploaded you know didn't do anything wrong but then then all of a sudden they did a
couple years later so I don't know it's it's weird um but it is what it is you know you just got to
be careful yeah and then he had some other ones he got some strikes for like graphic content and
nudity but apparently it was a scene from Grand Theft Auto.
That's a tricky thing too, man. Like it's really inconsistently applied. There are literally like how-to channels on sex out there. There are like, you know, breast enlargement surgeries on YouTube.
There's, you know, also there's a, like an anatomy and physiology one that involves like a naked man
and woman, like literally just like flat out naked and like i remember like the the professor takes a pen and rubs it on the guy's thigh and like one
testicle pulls up then he's like yep that's a reaction happens on every guy and i i tested it
yeah it seems true that's on youtube uh-huh there's lots of nudity on youtube what if it
falls under like the education category I'm sure that it does.
It was an hour and a half long video.
It was pretty interesting.
I learned from it. It wasn't like it was
porn, but it's definitely nudity.
Then video game content.
What's the Grand Theft Auto sex scene look like?
Does anyone know?
When you go into the strip club, I actually uploaded
I don't know if we uploaded the same thing, but I uploaded something similar when you go into the strip club, I actually uploaded, I don't know if we uploaded the same thing,
but I uploaded something similar where you go into the strip club at GTA
and not in the online, but in the single player,
they'll show like full nipples and boobies and stuff.
And everyone loves boobies, so they always go to the strip club.
And so I went there like as a joke to try and like,
it's called on my channel, it's called Stripper Love Story or something like that, where I'm trying to get the stripper's number in the game.
And so anyway, I just covered everything up when it happened.
I basically edited it to make sure that nothing showed so nothing could be struck.
But I don't know, I mean, even today I've seen him tweet that the video that got unstruck got restruck.
So now I don't know what he's going to do.
I mean, I think he should be able to get everything ironed out
because I know even when the terms of service, like, he went through and edited every video.
He didn't do the all-in-one like I did.
I don't think they had it at the time.
So he literally went through, like, thousands of his uploads to make sure.
Yeah, I don't know. People are just – time. So he literally went through like thousands of his uploads to make sure. I don't know.
People are just – it just boggles my mind, man.
Like you should definitely put effort into bettering yourself and not tearing down other people.
I just don't understand it.
It's a shame, yeah.
And like I remember I think someone cracked a Nadeshot Yahoo account, like an email account.
And then he had used that as the
password recovery account on a lot of important things like his twitter his paypal i think his
youtube channel and basically all of it got hacked at one time because they managed to get that email
address and uh it was just like in my mind a mate like man like you have no idea how big a deal this is to nadeshot you know it's yeah
he i think he got it all back without much harm really but it's time consuming to get it back and
it sucks but you will get it back you say that but you know there's always this uncertainty right i
mean there are people who've lost their twitter accounts and not gotten them back and yeah it's
it's it's frightening when that stuff happens. A lot of it too is his
privacy just got, you know,
these people were just screen capping
for days, you know, all this private information
of his. It's not cool. I just
don't understand it. That's right.
That's right. We got to see
like some Twitch deposits and stuff
like that that gave you insight
into his income.
And that's a privacy thing.
Kyle, I liked
your nudity video.
Yeah, I'm watching this.
What the hell? I like how she
wears sandals. She can't go all the way.
Yeah, that's what I just noticed.
The feet cannot be naked.
I don't know about bugs out there, man.
Bugs getting in places and biting
things. I don't know about that.
So Kyle linked a video, which I won't show on my channel because it's asking for trouble.
But nudist colony tour, naked and free.
And here's a girl, pretty thing, blonde.
All she's wearing looks like flip-flops and a belly button ring.
Yes, there's lots of nudity on YouTube.
I imagine
that these videos are popular among
kids who maybe
adult websites are
blocked on their home network.
But you can totally
get to one of these videos through YouTube.
In the second
video, there are quite a few
very unattractive nudists out there.
This is not... You can tell these
are real nudists because it's not at all what you
hope it would be. Yeah.
It's not like at the Playboy
mansion. Yeah, that's legit nudity.
I see a comment on here, one of the
high streeters says, what is the rule
on erections? I mean, a bunch
of naked women walking around, it's unavoidable.
I mean, maybe you just naked women walking around, it's unavoidable. I mean,
maybe you just ignore it.
At 25 seconds, I could avoid it.
You could walk behind a tree and
take care of business.
Is that the plan?
Actually, a lot of these people are attractive.
I was expecting it to be primarily...
A lot of them, but then wait until like a minute and
eight seconds, and wait for that picture to zoom in
there's like a circus
tarp worth of excess skin
floating around in front of these people
I like your measuring stick
you know
yeah
whatever floats your boat man
I guess
hey did either of you or any of you
I should say watch the new episode of It's Always
Sigh in Philadelphia?
I did watch it.
Oh, it's out?
No, I have not.
Yes.
What did you think?
I liked it a lot.
I thought it was good.
I thought it was good, too.
I forgot.
Are episodes always 18 minutes long?
Did that shrink?
It's usually 22.
It was 18 minutes long, and I like wow this is like not too far
Off a YouTube video at this point
Yeah that's incredibly short
Well 30 minute programming is 22 minutes
Normally
I agree
I liked it a lot
One thing that I noticed right away
Was that was the first time Charlie had ever left the state
And he flew all the way across the country
So that was cool I loved the idea The whole Wade Boggs first time Charlie had ever left the state. He flew all the way across the country. That
was cool. I love the idea, the whole Wade Boggs. The premise is they are trying to duplicate
a feat that Wade Boggs, a Boston baseball player, once accomplished. He drank 60 beers
on a flight from Boston to Seattle and then three for five against the Mariners and won the game.
And so they're fucking pounding beers on the fly
trying to get the fucking 60 or 70.
70 beer.
Like no one knows that some teammates say 60,
some say 70,
some say 80 beers.
Charlie's like,
he didn't drink those beers
because he was trying to set a record
Wade was just thirsty
that's all
and so they're
pairing the beers the whole time so they're
the whole gang is on a flight a cross country
flight and they're all absolutely completely
fucking trashed so
I enjoyed the episode a lot I thought it was
I was a little worried it wasn't
going to be good but I definitely liked it I episode a lot. I was a little worried it wasn't going to be good,
but I definitely liked it.
I laughed a lot.
What was the name of the Mile High club they came up with?
What's that, Woody?
He's like, I'm going to invent my own club,
and it was like the Sexy Something Club.
Do you remember what it was?
It was the Sexy Air Club or something.
Danny DeVito isn't aware that there's a thing called the mile high club and he thinks that he's just he just came up with
the idea of fucking people on a plane himself spontaneously and uh yeah that's what he and
dennis are trying to do in addition to their wade boggs drinking game they're trying to both get
late on the flight and the way boggs drinking game it ended up mirroring the sammy sosa mark
mcguire home run race like you know one guy came from behind and uh you know they just got to like
70 and the whole thing was was mirroring the race it was pretty cool it was funny they drank so many
every one of them was trying to individually drink 60 beers on a five hour flight. 70, yeah.
Kyle may be mistaken with the numbers, but the legend was 50 to 70 beers
and they managed to break
it and do their thing.
It was pretty cool.
It's a good show.
Good show.
Last season just wasn't up to snuff.
Really. I don't think.
I thought it was good, but not great.
February 27th, House of Cardsuff, really. I don't think. I thought it was good, but not great. February 27th, House of Cards comes back, though.
I can't wait.
That'll be sweet.
Archer's already back.
The first episode of Archer's out.
Oh, I gotta get that, too.
I haven't seen that.
Much better.
That Archer vice was horseshit.
Do they address the whole ISIS thing?
The whole... Oh, yeah. The fact that they share the name ISIS thing? The whole...
Oh, yeah.
The fact that they share the name.
They say something about it?
Oh, no, that, no.
No, they don't mention that.
Well, I hope they do.
I'm sure they will eventually.
Yeah, I hope there's a whole story arc
about the real ISIS and how, like...
That would be great.
That would be hilarious.
Yeah, like how they're getting attacked
for something else,
or then Archer can say something kind of racist
but clever,
so he gets away with it.
I would love that, yeah.
I saw that that French magazine sold like 5 million copies or something like that.
Like, usually their circulation is like 50,000.
Yeah.
They put Muhammad on the cover, right?
Yeah.
Again.
Yeah, I like it.
I like the move.
Not afraid.
Yeah, that takes balls.
I saw that, like, I guess they were saying that maybe Sky News,
which I think is British news, they accidentally showed the cover.
I think they accidentally showed the cover,
and they were making a huge, they were just apologizing right away.
They were so sorry we
didn't mean to show that we didn't mean it like what a bunch of cowards i don't understand yet
i may have seen i don't know if it's something different than i saw but i saw the sky news
interviewed the person from that magazine whatever it's called like charlie head bow or i'm confused
and uh she was like you know they're interviewing and they're talking and then at some point in the interview, she's like, you know, can you believe that
this,
can you believe that they're making a big deal
out of just this and the camera does
like one of these deals? Yeah.
And she's like, what?
Wait, it's just this and the camera
like keeps going up.
They did everything they could
to keep the magazine
if they showed it, it was only for a frame
or two because they really
framed the magazine
cover out aggressively
adjusting it to make sure it didn't happen.
It was pretty funny.
But they completely panicked
over the whole thing.
I don't know.
Dude, I go back and forth
because part of me is like, don't be such a pussy.
Show the picture.
Go ahead and do it.
And I thought, maybe I'll do it on PKA.
Or not.
Yeah, maybe I don't want that hell raining upon my own house.
Right?
I think I see what's coming.
Maybe I don't want to, you know.
Oh, no. Hmm. coming maybe i don't want to you know like oh no
i know what you're saying though like i mean it's easy from the outside to be like oh that guy's
being an asshole just show the picture but you're not the one who's getting threatened and like
it's not like other groups in a lot of ways like the extremists in this group are
intense like there's a reason people are afraid because they'll they'll fuck with you right if i
were to literally show a picture of muhammad on here i might draw trouble to my actual house
where like wife and kids are and stuff it's uh it's not just a personal decision yeah because
i mean like not even just the terrorists get like super offended by that the just regular I
guess Muslim people get like super duper offended and I I've seen like reddit posts where they're
talking about how it's just disrespectful that people are showing this just to make the I don't
know it's just a big mess I don't know it's crazy I'm wondering what's getting drawn yeah on me here looks like a little person
yeah i i it's also a little wow i like how it's stuck to your head that is awesome
so where are we going with here what does he have a gap on his leg on purpose
so everyone driving to work or in your car you know know, Kyle's drawing a little figure on Woody's shoulder.
It's very difficult to connect these lines.
Would you sit still?
God damn it.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't realize I was messing you up.
Twitching over there.
He's got a broken leg.
That's okay.
Yeah, don't worry about that leg.
Got the mustache.
I thought that was a smile.
That's a beard.
And is that a turban over his head?
It's an attempt.
I'm not good at drawing.
Neither am I, though.
My handwriting is just excellent.
Sample text.
Sample text. Sample text.
I like how it stays
with your face. That is awesome.
I just noticed Kyle has a thing.
Kyle's got a bunch of woody marks
on his face.
Good to see that subsided.
Dude, the sample text thing makes it funnier
than if you were to write something. I love that.
Sample text.
Kyle can't draw.
Kyle can't draw
on this anymore.
I know what you're
saying about the Muslim thing, but it's like
getting back to what Midnight said
about people getting offended.
It's like people have that position of like,
oh, we're no different than everyone else.
You wouldn't do this or that to other religious groups.
And then they demand to be taken extra seriously
and being given the ways that other people did.
And I did that five minutes ago.
When did this happen?
Recently.
God damn it.
I'll get
it off for you. I'll scrub it right off.
There you go. I don't know how to make
the Muhammad thing go away now.
Oh.
I'm turning draw off. I don't want to get fucked with.
Fair enough.
Alright.
But I'm glad
they came back strong with that
magazine that is with that
this week's issue.
It's definitely their biggest issue ever.
Because like I said, normally 50,000
was their circulation.
Is someone drawing something on me now?
No!
He was trying.
I was drawing all over Mirka, and it was brilliant.
And he deleted it, I think.
How did I delete it?
It wasn't you who did it?
No.
Hmm.
That's okay.
I have the technology.
I can recreate this.
You can figure this out.
Oh. Yeah, they would have looked like real assholes
if they didn't put Muhammad on the cover again.
Like if they went back to like,
great things to have in your garden
or whatever they usually write about.
Like this gnome for three easy installments.
It's hard to take you seriously
with a penis kissing on you.
I don't see it.
I don't see it either.
Really?
Now I know what's happening.
Yeah, well, that's a shame.
It's only on my screen.
I don't know what I did differently
that no one else is seeing it.
Oh, well, time is done.
Onward and upward.
That's the peak right there.
Have you ever been to peopleofwalmart.com?
Yes, it's very entertaining.
No, I have not.
I haven't been in a while.
Let's all go.
Here, I'll link you up.
Link us to whatever page you're looking at.
Because you can go by state.
And you can own a variance depending on state.
If I want to go to Mississippi Walmart only.
Alright, I'll do Mississippi.
Oh. Whoa, all'll do Mississippi. Oh.
Whoa, all those Barbie dolls on the antenna there.
That's nice.
So search by state.
I went to Mississippi
and the first thing I see is a camel
in the Walmart parking lot.
If there were to be a state
with classy Walmart folk,
where do you think they would be?
I'm going to search that area to find the worst.
Minnesota is definitely classy.
We're classy up here.
Minnesota.
Minnesota, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Don't you know?
You can't go wrong with Florida.
That actually would be my next pick.
How did you find it by state?
I don't see a link.
Oh, search by state.
The top right.
The guy with the choking hazard shirt
and the arrow pointing down, that's class.
Let's see what Delaware's got going on.
I'm embarrassed to say I kind of like that shirt.
This other guy has a shirt on the back of it.
It says, Hail Satan, motherfucker.
I like that.
I remember this being funny, but I also forgot how sad this makes me.
Yeah, whenever there's kids, I get kind of bummed out.
So here's my question to you.
When you go to Walmart, do you feel better about yourself because you are a step above the walmart patrons or do you feel bad about yourself
because there you are at walmart i feel great being the best person in the whole building
every time i walk in so first of all when i go i'm a puppet yeah there you are roaming when i go
i dress up a little nicer i go ahead and and I put a button-up shirt on.
I go ahead and put on a nice pair of jeans,
put on some decent sneakers or something,
make sure I'm looking good.
Then we go.
We start in the parking lot.
You make a few laps, see what you can see on the outside,
the perimeter, if you will.
Then you go right through those fucking double doors.
You're immediately treated by it.
It's either that crony old lady who's, like, wanting to check your receipt,
like maybe you stole something,
or there's somebody fighting for shopping carts in there.
Mine has a Subway as soon as you walk in the door.
So you've got all these slobs in there eating Subway because it's diet food.
And some of the worst things I've ever
seen in my life, I've seen at Walmart.
I saw a kid take a shit in a Walmart parking lot
one time.
Like on the pavement?
No, in a grassy area right adjacent to
a park bench over there
where maybe the employees could smoke.
A little kid over there taking a shit. His parents are watching him.
They're like, yeah, a little bit of taking a shit.
They don't care.
It'd be funny if there was a yellow lab, a weimaraner and some kid all pooping i went the other day and we were walking we were walking along and i heard this noise and
at first i didn't believe what i heard i had to listen carefully i heard pachink pachink pachink, pachink, pachink, pachink. I was like, is that fucking Spurs?
Pachink, pachink, pachink.
Nah, nobody wears fucking Spurs.
Maybe they got some kind of machine they're using to carry stuff.
Pachink, pachink.
And he rounds the corner.
The super redneck.
He's like 30 years old.
He's got some really white, trashy facial hair.
He's got his NASCAR t-shirt on, camouflage pants on,
and these big, fancy cowboy boots with spurs on each side.
So he doesn't actually wear the spurs and use them for horse riding,
or he'd only have one.
He has two spurs because he thinks spurs are cool.
Horseback riding people only have one spur?
From what I understand, yeah.
You just use one Spur if you're riding.
I didn't know that.
He has two Spurs walking in Walmart, and they're jingling.
He has his mirrored NASCAR sunglasses on, and he's got a fucking cowboy hat on.
He's fucking walking around in Walmart like this.
I took a picture of him, but I didn't get his head in it. He needed two six
guns and a bandolier.
When Chiz
came,
when we all met in
Tennessee or whatever to do the, or I guess it was
Georgia technically, to do the
rafting and everything,
Chiz and I went to Walmart
and we were walking out of Walmart
and walking into Walmart we met him at the door, was a cowboy.
He was like 55 years old, and he was a cowboy.
He had a cowboy hat, he had a cowboy shirt, he had cowboy pants, cowboy boots,
and he had a six-shooter on his side, like a gun belt.
He had the gun and the holster and the belt with the bullet stuck in it all the way around.
Like the brown leather, old-timey looking
Wild West. Yes.
He even had the big curly mustache.
Ask Chiz. That's one of the best parts
of getting old, man. If you're 18
and you're wearing that, people are
pointing and laughing at you. They're
addressing it. They're making sure it's not a real
gun, whatever. When you're over
40 and you're wearing that,
it's like, whoa, never saw
a real cowboy before. Look at that. I guess that's just
who he is.
That's fucking Wyatt Earp's cousin
over there.
That's what he's doing in Walmart.
So you can open carry in North Carolina,
which means that you don't necessarily have to conceal
carry. You can wear a gun on your hip cowboy
style or policeman style or whatever. And I swear, if you're 19, well, 19, I don't necessarily have to conceal carry. You can wear a gun on your hip cowboy style or policeman style or whatever.
And I swear, if you're 19 and you, well, 19, I don't think you can do it.
But if you're 21 and you do it, then, like, it's weird.
And people might address it or point at it or whatever.
If you're 47 and you do that stuff, no one will say a word to you.
You're a damn grown-up.
You can do what you want.
Yeah.
I usually, I almost always conceal carry.
I just got my always conceal carry.
I just got my new conceal carry permit yesterday, actually.
It came in like the perfect time.
It came in on January 2nd,
or it was approved January 2nd, and so it expires January 1st, 2020.
I like how that worked out.
For the new year.
2020?
Yeah, for the new year, exactly.
I don't think that open carry makes
much sense like you're just making your if shit is to go down then obviously the person starting
shit is going to get the jump on you because you're not the one starting shit and you're the
biggest target in the room if the guy's like oh let's see i'm going to take down some people in
this room let's start with the guy with the gun you know brazenly shown on his hip as he walks through target.
That's a common argument and I don't think it's wrong, but yeah, you hear that a lot
of people have come to that same conclusion that if you open carry, you're the first target.
Yeah.
Concealed carry just makes more sense.
Does yours look like a driver's license like this?
I want to show it.
No, it doesn't.
I'm trying to figure out what I should cover.
I'm just covering up all the information
like this.
Yeah.
Kyle, it says Georgia. People will know where you live.
I think that's a given.
Mine looks like this.
I'm going to put myself...
Let me look at it one more time.
What am I showing?
Not much.
Oh, a permit number? Is that a secret?
I don't know.
Hold up your driver's license for comparison.
It's boring looking.
It's frayed and ugly.
It's basically just a laminated thing.
I think I just talked to myself.
In contrast,
mine has
all my information where my fingers are
and a picture of me and it's all holography
and it looks like a hard plastic
quality
it looks like you've got the fucking MasterCard
black of concealed carries
on the back it's got all these
holograms and stuff and bar
codes and I don't know
it's cool I'm glad I
the first one I got five years ago
was literally a laminated piece
of paper
that had my thumbprint on it.
I could have made a fake one in five minutes.
You just print it out and laminate it.
That's all there was to it.
But this thing is...
I'm glad I got this one.
There was a whole problem with it.
It took me a month to get all the paperwork done.
That time I got arrested in like 2008 for carrying my weapon into Walmart, which was a false charge, by the way.
It was clear I had my concealed carry permit. That officer was a dick.
But they never – is the word dispensate?
It's not dismissed. It's probably something trickier than that
I need proof of the disposition of those charges
basically
because it bounced back on my background check
and I was like wait and it turned out that
they never
cleared the charge like it was still kind of
hanging there and so I had to go
to like four different little county
agencies and groups and
finally have them
get it done. Then it seems like
they still did it wrong and I had to get my local
probate judge to get on it.
Finally, they got it fixed and I got my
carry permit.
I got to come up with a way to conceal carry this
vector.
I'm imagining
some sort of a backpack
scenario where, I don't know,
maybe I have it in a sheath back there.
I don't know.
I'm still working on that.
That's going to be hard to conceal.
Maybe a big coat,
but then I think you draw a lot of attention.
Maybe a duster.
I wonder if a duster is going to come back.
Dude, dusters are awesome.
People are going to start looking at you
if you're wearing a duster.
Like a maniac.
Like a waxed leather duster would be so badass, wouldn't it?
Yeah, it would, of course.
If you're wearing a duster, you're either about to pull out a gun or your cock.
Like there are no other things you're about to do.
My grandma, whenever Tombstone came out, you know, the Wyatt Earp movie,
she watched that movie and she was like,
dusters are going to come back after this movie.
That's going to be a thing again.
And I was like, no!
Even like child version of me,
I'm watching this movie, I'm like, nah.
I don't think so, Granny.
That's not going to happen.
But I wish they would. They are cool.
There's a lot of cool stuff I wish would come back.
When I was really little, I wanted
being able to wear a coonskin hat
to be okay.
I thought Davy Crockett was hardcore.
I wore one constantly
when I was like 3, 4, 5, 6 years old.
A coonskin hat.
All the time.
I ran around with my BB gun
shooting stuff and I wore that fucking coonskin hat.
I got tons of pictures and videos of that shit.
I was Davy Crockett. I fucked shit up.
Davy Crockett or
Daniel Boone.
Go out in the woods, pick up a stick, pretend it's a gun.
You're Daniel Boone for a day.
Play like it's Alamo
and throw rocks at the Mexican kids
across the street. It was a great childhood.
Did you eventually die
as they overwhelmed you with sheer numbers?
Well, there's so many goddamn.
I mean, they have like 15 kids, Woody.
They're Catholic to boot.
They're worse than the Irish.
Worse than the Irish, Kyle.
Bite your tongue.
Let's be serious.
They're not worse than the Irish.
All right, all right.
They're not literally worse than the Irish.
Dude, that was funny.
You got what I was trying to try to part
kyle said something negative about the irish three weeks ago and then like all they all got so mad
and everything and and there's two ways you can handle this you can either like make your apology
or whatever or double down and just be like yeah the irish are terrible bunch of drunken potato
eaters and then out of the blue last week he triples down i don't know why
more irish bashing there should be a thing perhaps every week where we rip on the irish who knows
kyle does hate the irish all they do is make excuses for themselves like oh the british
control us they didn't let us do this they didn't let us do that the united states doesn't ask
anybody for permission the british used to control us, too. They told us what to
do. We fixed that shit.
You guys are doing it. Maybe if you
did more of fixing stuff and not
being neutral, like
you wouldn't...
Potato famines and such. Maybe if
every now and then you stood up to somebody
and, you know... Like Nazis.
Yeah, like the Nazis.
Yeah.
While those V2s are crashing into London,
you guys are sitting there on your little islands
just being cocksuckers.
So, you know, I don't know what more I can say.
And you're drunks, and you're alcoholics.
What other countries do you hate?
Is it just Ireland
well I mean it's my hate for Ireland
is so strong it kind of it's kind of like the
sun it kind of blinds me from like
I can't even picture what another country even looks
like with the hate of Ireland in my heart
I don't know I'm sure
there's some other countries
would you like
me to do sort of a list for you?
You can tell us which ones you hate.
Sure.
All right.
Well, France is usually right up at the top.
The French are usually a bunch of cocksuckers.
We're going to go from population top to bottom.
Do you hate China?
I'm not sure how I feel about China.
They seem to be making things very difficult for us,
and they're kind of a growing superpower.
It seems like 1.5 billion of them now or something crazy like that.
It's a little scary.
I wouldn't say I hate them.
They're definitely a strong concern, though.
I don't feel like...
I feel like, you know, they would stand up for themselves.
You have, like, a respectful disapproval for them.
Exactly, exactly.
That's exactly how I feel.
But with Ireland, there's no respect at all.
You see the YouTube comments where I've lost all respect for you, totally, now.
That's how I feel about Ireland.
That's true. This isn't an act.
It's unmitigated hate from Kyle.
I get texts from him randomly throughout the day sometimes we're always talking about the ira and we go on and on about it i'll
ask him innocent questions like you know hey are you busy this afternoon and he just comes back
like fucking irish hate them yeah yeah i called a guy a dirty mick the other day he was black
to his face It didn't even
make sense.
You just went to
the most defensive
thing in your
repertoire and
that was it.
Because you do
not want anyone
associated with
that devilry.
Do you hate
India?
India?
No, I don't
hate India.
I have, I
think, if I
had to lean one
way or another
between India and Pakistan,
I think I'd be on
India's team because Pakistan seems to be
oftentimes
in the league with a lot of
terrorists.
Just bad groups.
I don't know if I trust the Pakistanis.
Indonesia.
I didn't expect them to be the fourth
most populous country but
Indonesia coming in at four
you never hear about them
my underwear is made there
so my first thought
is to go with that I like them
because it's comfortable stuff
it's stretchy
some sort of synthetic blend I don't know
there's some rayon in there
it's more of a jockstrap.
What are more features
of the underwear?
More features of the underwear? Well, it's supportive.
I mean, that's the number one thing.
Do you have to pull it down in front to pee, or
can you use the hole?
There is no hole,
but it's quite easy to pull it down.
I'm a big fan of the no-hole underwear boxer shorts,
so the stuff isn't just falling out all the time walking around.
Yeah, absolutely.
The no-hole is the way of the future.
I don't need a door there.
I'm inevitably going to burst out of it.
It's not a problem for me.
My penis hangs down past the hole and out the leg hole.
Down your knee or something like that.
Yeah, it doesn't come out.
It's not an issue.
Fair enough.
I think Indonesia, we'll give them the thumbs up.
Yeah.
India, I don't think I would want to go to India.
It's a little rapey.
I'd like to go to India.
I've heard it's rapey.
I heard it's rapey.
Yeah. I'd like to go to India. I've heard it's rapey. I heard it's rapey. No, actually, the places that I most want to visit are places that are most different from the U.S.
Like, Australia is quite nice, but I imagine it to be very similar to the U.S. in terms of, like, culture and climate.
I think it's a lot like Florida.
Yeah, right.
You think it's like a big Florida?
Anything goes.
They're just Australian rednecks, essentially, right?
Like, they drink a lot.
They, I don't know.
They're racist against the Aborigines.
Yeah.
They don't take care of their environment.
They're very conservative.
They're kind of ignorant and backward in their ways.
At least politically speaking, it seems like that prime minister there is a president or whatever the fuck they have.
That guy's a nut job.
He's awesome for comedy, though.
They're all about polluting the waters and destroying that Great Barrier Reef, it seems like.
They are essentially a nation of rednecks with interesting wildlife.
And Mel Gibson.
Mel Gibson makes up for all of that, though.
Oh, right, because he's not racist at all
Gibson
Shiny example of being Australian
He's the best
Brazil?
He's Australian? I did not even know that
He is
If you go back to the old films he still got his accent
Go watch the original Road Warrior
Very good movie
The new Road Warrior. Very good movie.
The new Road Warrior looks insane.
I don't want to sidetrack this countries of the world talk.
I like this.
But the new Road Warrior
looks crazy good.
The trailer is awesome.
I haven't seen the trailer.
I didn't even know they were making a new one.
I feel like if I show it,
it'll be a copyright issue.
I don't know if we've watched so many things,
but the Road Warrior trailer in particular
seems dangerous.
But I could check it out offline.
Road Warrior is dangerous.
I don't know.
T-Martin and Optic Midnight had me all nervous.
Don't take any chances, man.
I mean, it would just be one strike.
Yeah, I don't have any strikes.
Just take one for the team, man.
Show the trailer.
It's pretty bad.
I've seen this Mad Max.
How long is it?
Almost three minutes long.
Solid.
It looks interesting.
Here's trailer two.
I bet trailer two is better.
Two-headed lizard, that's sick.
Trailer one doesn't really
move much. Let's see what two's got going on.
I don't know if I've seen this one. I've kind of stopped
watching trailers in their entirety when they come out.
It seems now they're giving away
so much shit about the movies.
I didn't even watch the trailer
for Fury before it came out.
I didn't want to and then I went
and I'm like, I'm so glad I didn't watch anything
about this. I love the movie and it just...
I don't know. Yeah, that movie
was excellent. It was awesome. I felt like movie. I don't know. That movie was excellent.
Shia LaBeouf did a great job.
I felt like the ending was a little unrealistic.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
The realistic ending would have been
really boring and shitty
when they ran out of hope
three minutes in and then all they hear
is like,
Oh, you!
We are here for the time!
Just go up and kill them that was a really good German accent
oh thank you
it's a little like German pedophile-ish
well perfect
yep
right in your wheelhouse
so Kyle which country were you on? Perfect. Yep. Right in your wheelhouse. Ta-da.
So, Kyle, which country were you on?
You were approving Indonesia because underwear is high quality.
Also approved, I suppose, of India despite their rapiness, as Woody puts it.
Disparaging remarks, quite frankly, for Pakistan.
I'm not a fan of them India's neighbor
Brazil
Brazil I think I like
Brazil I think
it's the women's butts isn't it
you know it is
that and the nuts you know the Brazil
nut I'm a big fan of
but mostly I suppose it's the large
assed women who reside there.
There's this really funny video of Arnold Schwarzenegger where he –
I don't even know what it is, but it's like a documentary
where they follow Schwarzenegger to Carnival in Brazil.
And it's sort of that period of his career somewhere around the time of Pumping Iron.
So he's a rising star, But he still hasn't figured out
how he should be perceived in the media.
So he's just like,
we are here in Carnival
and we talk about
their favorite parts of the woman's body.
And then it shows a close-up of this woman's
ass gyrating and Schwartz's hair goes
the ass!
And the whole thing
is him enjoying himself
and dancing with these women.
It's super cringeworthy, super
funny.
I need to see that. It's really good.
Schwarzenegger's done
a lot of silly stuff like that early in his career.
He was in this one movie, it was like
Hercules in New York.
You could probably figure out what it was about.
Hercules in New York. Is it a porn out what it was about. I'm hoping it's a porn.
Hercules in New York.
Yeah, there's a porn event.
What's that?
Was it literally a porn?
No, no, no. It's a movie about
Hercules being in New York.
I think Stallone
and Kurt Russell have both done porns.
Stallone
was in a pornographic movie.
Yes. Kurt Russell had both done porns. Stallone was in a pornographic movie, yes.
Kurt Russell was not.
Kurt Russell was a Disney kid.
He's been a rising star since he was eight or something.
Oh.
Yeah, he was in... Was he in Mickey Mouse Club, whatever the hell that was?
I guess that was so long ago, right?
Yeah, he predates the Mickey Mouse Club.
He started out as a child actor, and he never stopped acting. That's rare. Usually they get addicted
to something by then. Yeah, they fall over, eventually. That, uh, that kid that played,
uh, the kid from Sixth Sense? I see he's in some roles again now that he's all weird looking.
Yeah, I need to look him up. What was his name, Haley Joel Osment or something like that?
weird looking.
I need to look him up. What was his name?
Haley Joel Osment or something like that?
Yes. He was also in Second Hand Lions.
A very bad film.
I like Second Hand Lions.
Come on.
I didn't like Second Hand Lions.
The lion never did shit.
Never did anything. He's weird looking.
Link, link, link.
Haley Joel Osment's face never grew,
but his head did
yeah it sure did
this is going to be a huge link
it's not that big
yes
look at the side by side of him as a child
some of these look photoshopped
yeah definitely
one of them is photoshopped
which is really messed up
it looks like you pulled a Looney Tunes,
you stuck one of those inflators in his mouth
and just kept pumping.
It might just be...
He's on pump three.
I think he just gained weight,
because even in this one picture where he looks like,
I don't know, teenager-ish,
he looks not that bad.
He looks pretty fat in a lot of these.
Yeah, they can't find any body shots.
Fat face.
He really discovered his fifth sense as he got older.
His sense of taste.
Yeah, I'd just be mad.
That would make such a great SNL sketch.
You know, the success
was a great film.
Me and Bruce
got along great.
But,
my sense of taste,
that's what I've been
focusing on
the last 15 or 20 years.
He looks huge.
His face,
he's got...
I saw someone
talk about it.
Like, get this.
In Hollywood,
you can get strung out
on coke, right right you can do
heroin you can like have all sorts of issues and such and everyone just kind of like accepts that
it's part of the hollywood culture that this is a thing that happens to people they go through a
coke phase whatever they can come back no big deal but you get fat and all of a sudden it's like what
happened to this guy this guy really let himself go.
Right.
This guy has huge issues.
He ate too much.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, you're a product.
It is a pretty huge issue if you're that fat.
It is.
You're a product.
Not very healthy.
And if you're fat, you know, they can't sell you anymore.
You're not the same product.
You've got to keep that product buffed and toned
and ready to sell.
Yeah, they can put makeup over
dark circles under your eyes.
You won't be high tomorrow, I guess.
The cocaine stuff doesn't matter.
I can definitely see that.
I saw Robert Downey Jr.'s interview on
The Stern Show a while back.
He was talking about a lot of that stuff.
He told some crazy stories. He took a shit one time in a lady's trailer, like on set.
He took a shit in the floor of her trailer, and I can't remember who it was.
And another famous actor pissed on his shit.
They were just insane.
It was just a prank.
That was their prank.
It's an awful prank.
That's like one of those pranks we're seeing online now.
Where it's like, watch this prank where I run up to someone and hit them in the face with a fish I bought at this Chinese market.
It's like, no, you just assaulted someone.
These pranks are getting worse and worse, man.
It seems like it's a trend on YouTube.
So they went and then they started going into ghettos and black neighborhoods
and pretending like they were going to touch their ass or something like that
and then be like, whoa, man, whoa, whoa.
And almost getting punched is the prank, which is a dick move.
And now there's this whole thing about people paying homeless people
to make it look like this stage thing.
It's crazy, man.
I've seen that a lot too.
I wish I had more evidence that they
actually paid the homeless people but yeah catch me up what is this yes i don't think
did you see the one where so i i saw one i don't know if it's fake but the guy gave a hundred
dollars to a homeless person i mean the homeless person goes into what here they call an abc store
like an alcoholic beverage control store that sells hard liquor.
And the filmmakers are all disappointed and sad.
Yeah, they even play this sad-ass music.
Yeah.
And then it turns out he went into that store
to buy sandwiches to give to all his fellow homeless people.
So he basically took the $100
and gave it to everyone else who needed it most.
That sounds like Bum's Night Out to me.
This was conveniently around Christmas time too.
He was like, Merry Christmas, have this food.
This is for you and all this stuff.
I don't remember who it was by,
but I've seen a video where they were breaking down
a certain scene where it looked like...
They were following the homeless guy
and apparently the homeless guy didn't know,
but they were breaking down these time stamps and like
where these certain cars were at this intersection
showing that the homeless
guy waited for the camera crew
basically. So who knows?
I mean, people
If they gave him $100 and his first
move was like, well hunky dory, I'm gonna
go buy some tuna for the boys
Why did he go to the liquor store to buy this sandwich? That just is weird to me I mean, he was just like, well, hunky-dory, I'm going to go buy some tuna for the boys. Why did he go to the liquor store
to buy the sandwich? That's just weird
to me. I mean, he was just like,
I'm definitely not going to go in here to get liquor.
I'm going here for sandwiches only.
I'll tell you one thing. Bum's Night Out
would have more integrity than that.
If that bum went and bought a bunch of
liquor, we'd be right there filming it.
All right?
We'd be like,
no, no, no, ruthless, look, if you get the
Red Dog, you can get an extra case of beer.
Come on, get the cheapest shit we can, man.
Like, we would really have fun
with that. I think that that's the beauty
of Bump's Night Out. Like, sometimes the bum
would, in fact, try to better his life
with $1,000. He'd
get himself a job interview and
a new set of clothes. He'd get himself, I interview and a new set of clothes. I've heard people
say a 24-hour gym membership so at least you have a locker and a place to shower. There's
a lot of things you could do with that grand to set yourself up in a position where you
could succeed in life possibly. But then there would be the fun shows where the bum would
go crazy with that money and get a hooker or maybe some drugs or go to a strip club
off Smelly or, you know,
just do something insane.
That's the beauty of it. But you can't
trick, you can't fake it. You can't fake
that. Like, it doesn't matter what the bum does with
the money. It's going to be entertaining to my wife.
It seems like a silly thing to fake. Like, why are you
rigging the part that, like, that's the
crux of the whole entertainment
aspect. Like, you want to see the random ass, kind of
crazy homeless guy do something that nobody
told him to do. Just, here's money, let's see what this
fucking does. It was a feel-good video just before Christmas
of a guy spending his last
dollar on
gifts for the other homeless people.
It was infuriating to me.
I don't like it because I'm sure it was fake.
It was...
It was definitely really fishy.
Did you see that little kid a couple weeks ago
tearing apart that dollar store?
Yes, I did watch that video.
Is there a video?
Where this guy is pinning the kid down?
No.
No, that was the satisfying part.
The first video, the first one,
that's enraging.
It's basically just,
I don't know what the name of the video is.
Kyle will find it,
but it's some little shitead running around a dollar store,
just indiscriminately pulling stuff off the shelves, just throwing it on the ground.
Not for any rhyme or reason, just making a mess, being a little petulant brat.
And some things broke, right?
Some things don't survive a fall off a shelf, like glassware.
Especially the dollar store.
Yeah.
So he was just mostly making a mess,
but partly destroying products.
Just turn it up, just because.
Here's the video.
Just clearly a child with no structure in their life.
Man, the dollar store people must have been so mad.
The guy who's holding the camera, I like him.
He's like, little man going crazy in the dollar store.
All right, let's sync up.
Let's watch this one together.
Yeah, let's go 0-0 here.
Yeah, I'm at 0-0.
I'll say ready, set, play, and we'll watch it together.
All right.
I'm ready.
Ready, set, play.
Boy, we got a Jit going ham in dollar store.
I'm talking about Jit is going ham in dollar store.
I guess the kid's name is jit
oh jit is mad jit don't got no family jit say fuck this shit i don't think it's his name definitely
he's called him jit about 30 times already i think i don't know like this in a while know what that means though because I'm not black hey I'm talking about bro like he's
encouraging him
I just I just imagine the fear that would be in my heart if I was walking around doing this at that age knowing that my parents were going to kill me.
Oh my god, I would be horrified.
All an adult would have to say is like, hey your dad's going to hear about this.
You hit me, you'll lose your life.
So now he's beating toilet paper with an umbrella because that's normal behavior why would they not stop him
I don't understand
I don't know
I don't want to put my hands on someone else's kids
not to spend someone else's dollar store
he needs his ass beat
they need someone with a concealed carry
to set the situation down
do you guys want to skip to part two?
I feel like we got the gist of this.
It's just three minutes of it.
Yeah, do you have a link?
Yes.
I think I found it.
No, no, no.
This is a video response.
I wanted to see part two on this thing.
I've got it.
I'll link you right now.
There it is. video response. I wanted to see part two on this thing. I've got it. I'll link you right now. There it is.
Thank you.
All right.
You do have it.
Well done.
So I'm queued up at zero.
Is everyone ready?
Yeah.
One, two, three, play.
You weren't ready, Murphy?
No, I'm good.
Merry Christmas.
I gotta make sure I record it
because my dog ain't doing nothing to him.
You feel me?
So someone is holding this kid down
on the sidewalk outside of the store.
Rightfully so.
He should catch a few.
Oh, he's dropping a knee in him.
Yeah.
I was dropping a knee in him. Yeah.
This guy's great.
Yeah, I like him.
Wrapping up his phone in his...
I'd like to be whipped
him with the phone a little ear budded him a bit now who is he to him no one no
one a righteous citizen looking for justice you don't think he's like a
relation or something no no I was about to say cousin.
Is that racist to assume that they're cousins?
I don't know.
I thought the kid on the ground was Hispanic.
Yeah, he looks Hispanic or Asian.
I couldn't quite see.
It's a little blurry.
I don't know.
I don't think they're related.
The number one comment...
Because otherwise that dude would have stopped him before probably.
The number one comment is,
and then the cops pull up and shoot the black guy in the cameraman.
That was great.
I wish I could beat that small child.
You can.
I think you could take it.
Someone else goes, this is the most parenting
the child has ever experienced.
That was great.
I like that.
I'm glad I watched part two.
That kid was a real scumbag.
He was a real scumbag.
It's,
I just felt like he had no respect
for the store owner
who's probably working 80 hours a week
or more all the time
keeping that thing going.
Yeah, I don't think working at the dollar store
is a fun gig.
No. Somebody comes and knocks all your shit over.
It's got to be infuriating.
That would be.
Having to stack up those little knick-knacks.
Like shitty toys
that you buy for estranged cousins
on the way to their house for Christmas.
Kitty bought me like
18 gifts from fucking dollar store and wrapped them all.
That sounds like something she would do.
Do you have any that you can show us?
Not like handy, but it was stuff like one of those tiny towels that's like in the size of a credit card.
You add water.
There was some kind of blow gun.
What else was there? Lots of really shitty stuff. in the size of a credit card, you add water. Like, there was some kind of blow, uh, blow gun. Um,
what else was there?
Lots of,
lots of,
lots of really shitty stuff.
It all cost a dollar or two,
something like that.
Well,
awesome.
Uh,
what'd you get her?
That's the question.
Oh,
nothing.
Nothing.
That's what I,
that's what I was expecting.
I don't,
I don't buy gifts.
Uh, that's my go-to approach. Yeah. I don't buy gifts.
That's my go-to approach.
Yeah.
Don't set expectations and you can't fall short of them.
Absolutely. Last three
Christmases haven't gotten anyone
a gift. Last three girlfriends' birthdays
no gifts. I don't buy gifts.
Well, I'll do birthday gifts.
What's the reason?
Well, I mean, I'm already here in your presence.
I am a gift to myself.
I showed up.
Isn't that enough?
You need me to bring something?
No, I don't know.
I don't like gifts.
I don't like people giving me gifts, quite honestly,
because I don't think I've ever been given a gift that I really liked.
I got you a flashlight.
No, that can't be true, dude. I literally said, just at the same liked um i got you a flashlight that can't be true dude i literally
said just at the same time woody got me a flashlight that was pretty cool
it's an amazing flashlight it's like a gillian lumens but how many lumens
it's a brazilian lumens it's a new very nice very nice flashlight but but most of the time
you know i it's it's hard to get me a gift and i just don't like buying other people gifts i don't
like doing it it's like it's you have to try to figure it out for each person it's just like
if you're kyle's friend sometimes he gives you random like sponsor shit and it's awesome like that sfg knife the the
the vampire spike with the silver bullets i still have that right here are those on the way
the zombie steak yeah send me your address i'll i gotta mail a gun back tomorrow i'll mail you
one of these too yeah that's sick yeah so you got you got silver bullets you've got eight of them
eight silver bullets 357 you've got stake. I took mine out of the
box, but yeah, there's like real
.357 magnum. It looks like
hollow point silver bullets.
The vampire stake and
I guess for zombies
this would be effective too.
And the same guy that makes those makes the
Cunan pistols.
I got three of those motherfuckers.
Those Cunan pistols are sweet. I really
want one of those now. I was looking up more about
them.
Do you now?
A Cunanan pistol? What's a Cunanan
pistol? Uh, the.357
Magnum in the 1911s.
Yeah, so... Oh.
Those just look cool. And I would want a gun
that's, you know,
automatic like that, but I want.357.
Yeah, there aren't many.
I like it a lot.
They're a little bit expensive, though.
I think they're $1,250 each, something like that, for the compact ones.
I don't know how much the full-size version is.
I've got the full-size version, and I've got two compacts now.
I'm going to make a video soon.
In Smith & Wesson, the full size is the same price
I think.
I think I'd probably want the compact one.
I'd want to carry it.
And my SIG is just too big.
What do you have? A SIG?
SIG P226.
Oh, that's a nice pistol.
Yeah, I really like it.
I like how it fits
my hand well. Those and the Walther's both have nice ergonomics.
Yeah, it's really comfortable to hold,
but it's just such a girthy gun that it would look awkward
unless you're a cop or you're supposed to have that on your hip.
Yeah, you need something smaller to conceal carry.
I don't have enough guns near me, I guess.
I find that with the smaller one, I actually carry it.
A good example, and I don't mean to be fussing in his direction,
but like Wings, for example, says he carries a 1911,
but I guarantee if you catch him, he's not actually, it's not on him.
Because a 1911 is a hard gun to carry.
It's a great big full-size gun, usually.
And, you know, whereas if someone says I carry like a J-frame,
which is a small revolver,
there's a better chance that they'll actually have it on them
because it's not such a big deal.
So that's my theory on it.
Yeah, that's kind of regretted after I bought it how big it was.
But still fun to use. I just need to get something I bought it how big it was, but still fun to use.
I just need to get something I can carry effectively now,
which is why that Kunan thing sounded really cool.
What do you carry when you do, Woody?
LCP 380.
All right.
It's by Ruger, Ruger LCP 380.
Yeah, I like it because it's small, and I can stick it in my pocket,
even if I'm wearing jeans.
I can carry a lot of stuff in shorts pockets because they tend to be baggy.
But jeans pockets don't leave a lot of room and I can even carry that thing as a pocket gun.
Do you shoot much or own any guns midnight?
No, I've actually never been.
I've always wanted to.
I've always wanted to go to a range and just kind of check it out and learn how to properly do it.
I've always thought that it would be a cool or good idea
to get something to have in my home, just a pistol or something like that.
What are the gun laws in Minnesota like?
It's a really good question.
I'd have to definitely read up on that.
My uncle is actually a gunsmith,
so I would definitely have to go to him
for some for some advice on what to do but i find them really really interesting and i i think that
they should be used for personal protection which is what i've like thought about getting one for
but i don't know if i'd want to carry one around i'd feel kind of weird about doing that
personally it's a funny thing it's um it's almost empowering and it's not like I'd walk around wanting to shoot people or kill people
yeah you're not walking into Walmart like sup yeah right like looking for trouble or anything
yeah like you don't draw any attention to yourself or whatever gun owners call it the tiger smile
right like you know imagine some guy getting mouthy with you or whatever and you can just smile with the
self-confidence that like you decided to let this de-escalate you know it wasn't because you were
scared it wasn't you know you had full control over this situation you could have shot him you
decided not to and uh it's i don't know it's a weird thing like you just carry a gun in your pocket
all day one time and you'll see like oh that's an interesting thing like i didn't i had a gun
in my pocket and you know of course you don't do anything it just sits there if shit were to go
down though yeah you would be okay then you'd be able to address it. The only guns I've shot is I had a BB gun, one of the pumper uppers.
I would shoot squirrels and things.
And then when I was like 12 or something like that,
I went hunting.
Well, not really hunting, just out walking around,
looking for pheasants with my uncle and my cousins.
And he let me shoot the 12-gauge shotgun,
which I thought was fascinating but terrifying at the same time so
kind of just I've really done it
like if my dad was more into it I'd definitely
like it'd probably be something we would do
but he's not really a gun dude so
yeah the first
time you shoot a shotgun it's like
it was overwhelming or I guess I was so young
and I think I shot even it was a 20 gauge
not a 12 and I must have been like
6 and we were doing like the clay thing and when I shot even if it was a 20 gauge, not a 12. I must have been like 6.
We were doing the clay thing.
When I shot it, I'd only seen it in movies up until that age.
It scared the shit out of me.
It's a terrifying thing for a kid.
Then my younger brother shot and he just started openly weeping.
I thought that was hilarious.
It's loud.
It is.
You don't expect it to kick you that hard.
You're like a 70-pound child.
And he started crying when he shot it?
It's because the kick scared him so much.
Like, I think he left a gap between where the butt of the gun was
and his shoulder,
and so it popped him.
Or it was just the fact that he was like five.
That might have been it.
Yeah, see, I was like 35
when I shot my first one,
so there were no tears.
There were no tears.
I was a big, brave boy.
Yeah.
But yeah, you should definitely look into it, Midnight.
Yeah, I definitely think it's a good thing to be educated on
and just, you know, for personal protection,
I'd like to have one.
And I find the guns themselves are really interesting.
I mean, it's pretty interesting to learn
all the different kinds of what they do.
When Kyle was unwrapping his
Vector, I was like, whoa.
Have you ever had any threats for being
a YouTuber?
No, not really. I mean,
obvious... Oh, sorry.
My cat just scratched me.
Not really too bad. Sometimes people
get my number and I had this weird guy calling me for a while but that's a good one you know
i i feel like uh i at least have you know some protection because it's me and my cat here
i do have some forms of protection are you talking about your cat as your protection
no like like pepper spray and things like that.
If someone were to come to my door...
What you need is a hand cannon.
Yeah.
Yes.
Well, if you could just give me that bowling ball cannon,
I'll just set it up in front of my door.
So if anyone ever comes, you know.
Like a Home Alone-style home defense kit.
That's what I need.
You just have a bunch of jacks and marbles and honey that you smear on things.
Broken Christmas lights.
I've got cans just hanging
from various areas.
Superheated doorknobs. They won't stand a chance.
You can dangerously rewire your
appliances to shock
adults when they try to use them.
Anyone tries
to steal my car jokes on them, I have an
ignition bomb.
So this is
the difference between the full size
one and the compact one.
Yeah, I'd want the compact.
That's badass looking.
Quite a bit more handy.
What did you say the capacity is?
You said seven?
Seven on the compact, I think.
I don't have this one
loaded. I actually haven't shot it yet.
I'd take the full size one. I'll tell you why. I don't have this one loaded. I actually haven't shot it yet. I'd take the full-size one.
I'll tell you why, and I don't have as much
experience carrying as Kyle might, like with
different varieties, but
to me, a compact 9-11
doesn't really solve any particular
problems. In my opinion, it's too big
to carry, and if it's too big to carry,
it might as well be giant for the range.
Here it is compared to a regular 1911.
You can see it's pretty fucking big.
I don't think that compact one is too big to carry.
That's the one, the black one,
the size that Wing says he carries around?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love this fucking thing.
Where are girls supposed to put them if they carry them?
Am I just supposed to...
Okay, yeah.
See, I want something like that.
I need that for home protection.
Is that a J-frame?
This is the way to go.
This is a Rossi.
Oh, I thought it was a Smith & Wesson.
It's a.357 Magnum instead of a.38.
So you could get one that's actually smaller than this.
I would recommend, for most girls, I recommend something like I say girls. What I mean is people who are
smaller, who can't handle a lot of recoil
and maybe aren't familiar with weapons.
I don't mean for that
to come off as sexy.
Oh no, I'm a noob. Totally.
The gun that I give to the girlfriend
who doesn't really know her way around a gun
but she needs one anyway
is like a Ruger LCR
or something.
Like a.38 or a.357 Magnum revolver.
This thing, I mean, it weighs so much,
I could beat the fuck out of somebody with this if I had to.
I mean, it really is substantial.
And it's a.357 Magnum, and I put.38s in it,
so it's really, really manageable recoil.
And I've got these crazy self-defense bullets in there.
Actually, these are just regular.
These are.357 Magnums. That's right. I shot my
personal defense bullets at that body armor.
What is the difference between
a normal bullet and a personal defense
bullet? They're not going to kill them
or they're super extra going to kill them?
I'm glad you asked.
Let me get
props because it'll be much more fun that way
I'll be back in 30 seconds
30 seconds alright
bye
yeah
I'll definitely probably look into it more
because it is something like as I've gotten older
I just thought about you know that would be good to have
Kyle's gonna bring ridiculous stuff out
I'm sure but the answer is
a self defense bullet super duper extra kills them.
Okay. So it's not like you're shooting
them with rubber. It's like...
No. It's like the shoulder
it's going to do some crazy exploding
shit. Yeah, it's going to expand and leave all kinds
of awful shrapnel all over their
body, get into their bloodstream and find its
way to the heart. Damn.
Long before that, they'll be dead though
because half their body will be on the wall behind them just blows through them you know
probably be distracted by the like if it's like a late at night you just wake up the noise wakes
up the whole neighborhood and the muzzle flash you're blinded so just hear like gurgling as a
guy moans to death in in north carolina a hollow point bullet which is designed to like expand and hurt
people extra is considered polite because the bullet doesn't like come out of the other side
with as much energy all that energy is spent ruining some guy whereas in new jersey they
call them cop killers like hollow point bullets are supposedly extra bad but kyle has props are
you ready yeah so there's lots of different kinds of bullets. There's hollow points, full metal jacket, and lots of stuff in between.
But just the difference in the appearance, you'll see.
So this is just a regular full metal jacket bullet.
It's pretty flat on the end.
It's kind of a flat-nosed, solid projectile.
This is a RIP round, which stands for rapidly invasive projectile. This is a RIP round,
which stands for
Rapidly Invasive Projectile.
It's a bunch of copper needles.
They're designed to get lost everywhere.
This round is
a 45 long round
from Lehigh Defense.
You can see in the picture there
what it does. Each bullet
has five
projectiles inside of it.
So it's a shotgun bullet.
That's awesome.
But they're not coming out
in, you know,
a spread.
Now take that times five.
When do they spread?
Like once they're inside?
Whoa.
So those are the
don't mess with me bullets.
Exactly. And there's lots of different kinds.
The kind I've got in my vector is
these controlled expansion
solid copper projectiles.
It's just a more lethal
round. One that mushrooms out.
Full metal jacket bullets are good for plinking and shooting steel targets
and rocks and dirt mounds and stuff like that,
but hollow points are good at killing stuff.
Midnight, what's your upload speed?
Your image is HD and perfect.
Well, funny that you ask.
It's actually around 10 or 11.
But this place that I moved into
like six months ago,
the building's a little bit older.
You can see probably the heat register behind me.
It's old school.
I've been having internet problems
just intermittently.
I was really hoping I wouldn't have them today.
I mean, it looks so far so good.
Yeah, but I live stream a lot.
So I started doing YouTube a long time ago.
I've been doing that.
And then I branched off into live stream
and really started taking it seriously.
Probably the last two years,
I really was taking it seriously, trying to grow it.
And so that's pretty much,
live streaming is how I make a majority of my income.
I was going to ask about that.
Live streaming is more profitable than YouTube?
100% right now.
I mean, it was even more profitable when I was still with Machinima because I was stuck
in a really awful, awful contract with them.
But anyway, I moved here and I've just been having all sorts of issues with my internet
and so I'm actually moving.
I'm going to move because it's
unworkable like last week it got to
I need my cat to get down
he'll be back
yeah he will
last week it got like
dangerously cold
the wind chill was negative
27
and it just
my internet during those days my uplesslist was like one it was unstreamable
unworkable and i just had enough plus i don't really like where i am so i'm gonna move so
what's the business model for twitch is it the donations is that where the bulk of it comes from
or the ads i actually moved to mlg so if you don't know mlg.tv is uh primarily i would call it a
call of duty streaming platform right now.
When I joined, there was less than 50 people on the platform,
and they were all really big Call of Duty people.
And Nadeshot, you know, the guy who's pretty much got the largest streaming audience,
he's been one of the people that's been doing it the longest.
A lot of people moved over there, and I was pretty nervous when I accepted the contract
because it's just, it wasn't that many people that were doing it at the time,
but now it's kind of like the mainstream for Call of Duty.
And that's what I primarily stream.
I mean, I'll play other games like GTA or play like DayZ and stuff like that,
but primarily I stream Call of Duty, so it was a good move for me.
And where the money comes from MLG and why it's,
I think as a streamer better than Twitch,
they give you more support.
I mean, anything ever goes wrong, I have people there,
they're waiting to help me, like that's literally their job.
And they will help me out.
They monetize much better than Twitch.
The CPMs are much higher.
Yeah, Twitch CPMs are always tricky.
Like if you talk to the staff they're
like oh yeah you're making five or seven or you know some numbers that sound
amazing but then you look at your history and it doesn't seem like that at
all yeah no it's dude you need to lay down but yeah and then there's like a
subscription feature which is like five dollars a month people can choose to
support you they get cool things for their you know when they chat they cool logos. Like one of mine is when you subscribe to me, you
get the Illuminati symbol. So you can actually go into other chats with the Illuminati symbol
and people freak out. It's pretty funny. But yeah, so like subscriptions, donations. I
don't particularly like to depend on donations for my income. They're cool. It's extra. It's
like a tip jar.
The streamers are dependent on donations. I don't know how they
can sleep. You're literally depending
on people to give you money, which is too
difficult for me.
The CSGO guys seem to make...
I don't know what kind of numbers they're pulling,
but whenever I see stream highlights
and stuff, people are getting $30
and $45 donations.
That must add up fast.
It does. I mean, like I said,
I try, I mean, it's appreciated.
It's like a tip jar. It's like, hey,
thank you so much, guy who just gave me money
for playing video games, doing like literally
nothing, but I don't know. Some people
really like doing that. They like
the idea that you're entertaining them instead
of, you know, going to the movies. They watch
your stream for a couple hours, here's 10 bucks or something, you know, here's 10 bucks or something. It's such a weird thing. It's kind of in its
infancy. This has become such a big deal within the last... If you think back to when you
started YouTube, there was Justin.tv, which nobody hardly used. Then it became Twitch,
now all these other platforms like Hitbox, and you have
MLG, it's like a major Call of Duty platform.
It kind of came out of nowhere,
and it's really, this is all such
a new space that it's hard to
I guess, I don't know, really
pin down where it's going to go.
Because it's crazy what's happening.
So that's why I really started
focusing on streaming too, because
I'd seen Nadeshot had been doing it since, you know, Modern Warfare 3 and I always wanted to do it myself but, you know, I was working on YouTube videos. I didn't have a computer or internet that could do it, that's what's the best part about it.
It can be difficult, though, because when you do stream,
you're like, oh, I'm going to watch, you know, whoever,
I'm going to watch Midnight, and if you're playing awful,
like, when you're winning, they're all on your side,
they're in the chat, they're like, yeah, that was awesome,
you're the best I've ever seen, the best girl, the best this,
the best that, but when you lose, if you mess up,
oh my god, it's a whole
different story. It's, oh, she's awful.
I can't believe I'm watching this.
Terrible, terrible, awful.
It's interesting.
I like streaming a lot.
What he can't understand,
he doesn't really get hated on.
Yeah, that doesn't compute.
I'm sure you've never had any comments that are negative or anything.
Overwhelmingly uplifting, his comments.
It's like going to AA and narcotics anonymous encouragement.
Taylor, have you played any more Shadow of Mordor?
I have not.
You've got to get on and play.
It took me a while
to warm up to it, but I'm really starting
to enjoy it now.
It's really not a button masher.
It's difficult to play, and it took
me a while to get the hang of it.
Now that...
Dear God.
Was that like a coffee cup filled with pens?
No, I'm sorry.
I tried to get him off the desk
so I threw a water bottle behind me
and he jumped off of it.
I have a cat now. I'm very excited about it.
Do you?
Yeah, not exactly.
You guys have gigantic dogs though.
I only see him occasionally.
We bought a new house
and it came with a cat, a farm cat,
like an outside cat okay
and he lives in the stable and every so often i'll like spot him running to or from the stable
uh there's no real evidence of the cat aside from the lack of mice or rats anywhere on the property
and he's black and he's white and i have a cat and i'm it's the perfect cat i don't feed it
i don't give it water.
I just see it sometimes.
And he lives in my stable.
He just kind of hangs out.
What does he eat and drink then?
I think he eats mice.
And I don't know what he drinks. Lives off the land.
He's a wild cat.
And if you try to get close to him or something, he's gone.
He's like, I see him.
And I'm like, oh, I try to like, whatever.
He's a ghost cat you can't find
him afterwards you just get little glimpses of him best cat ever yeah i had a dog before this
um but i had him stay with my mom because my apartment couldn't have dogs and then i was
living here and i was like i am so lonely i just because you know i work from home so it's not like
you go you know you guys know you're coming off it's not like you go, you know, you guys know.
You're coming off a little bit like the lonely cat
lady. I'm just saying. Yep, I am. No, no.
I'm, I'll rep it
because I'm
comfortable with me, but yeah.
I like the cat. He's a cool guy. His name's
Simba. He's a beast. I don't make it.
He has thumbs, so. He has thumbs?
He does. I don't know if I can show them.
Ah, most cats don't. I have, yeah. I don't know if I can show them.
I have no idea if he'll actually cooperate. Just the way he went after that water bottle was pretty impressive.
Oh, I can get him doing backflips with a feather.
All I need is a feather and he'll do backflips.
I really don't think you guys can see it just because of how he is right now,
but he does have a thumb there.
That's cool.
Both arms.
Oh, yeah.
Thumbs on everything, actually.
On his bottom feet.
Is he biting you?
No, he's licking me.
He's really the sweetest cat.
He loves to cuddle and play and shit.
That's all he does.
He likes to live stream, it seems.
Yeah, he likes...
Well, see, I have a big, like, an Ikea desk.
I have a little blanket.
I have, like, a little blanket that he lays on.
And that's what he was on for the whole
first hour or two of this.
He was sleeping, but then he woke up.
Is he declawed?
No, see, I don't
think it's good to declaw cats.
It's not. No, it's like cutting off their fingers
up to the knuckle.
I actually clip his nails, and last week
I clipped his nails
thoroughly and nice for the first
time. He actually let me do it.
He's the best cat I've ever had.
I've had cats and
dogs my whole life.
This is the best cat I've ever had.
Also not declawed, I'd assume.
Yeah, way to be.
You're such a humane
pet owner. That cat actually
looks pretty cool. He's kind of relaxing there
he's letting you play with him
look at this this is great
every cat I've ever experienced
would have like ran away and disappeared
by now
he wants to like play fetch and stuff
he's hardcore
he's crazy he's a crazy guy he sleeps
plays poops cuddles he likes all
that stuff that's my cat i wonder if he's a boy or a girl i'm not really sure what's an androgynous
name just exactly i named him black and white that'll do it i followed kyle's naming naming
scheme he's black and white cat if any come in, I've got names lined up.
Orange Cat, White Cat.
That's how I name animals.
We had this cat for years, and it was White Cat.
White Cat was its name.
And when it had kittens, they were Black Cat 1 and Black Cat 2.
And now we're just left with Black Cat 2.
You grew up in a doctor's suite.
So Black Cat 2 has been renamed
to Cat 2.
I just didn't want to assign them actual real names
and so they became what they are.
Yeah, that's Black Cat.
Do you think it was laziness, lack of creativity,
or a fear of getting too close to them?
Laziness and disregard.
I needed to refer
to the cat, but I
didn't want to call it Oliver
or Little Pete or
Cocksucker or something.
Oliver would be an awful
name for a cat. I really
hated those cats.
That cat there seems cool.
Look at that cat. He is cool.
He's a cool guy. Now, why did you
hate your feral cat? Because I'm
excited to have what I assume is a feral cat.
I don't know.
It could very well be somebody else's cat.
And it's just your yard cat.
Kitty has started feeding them more and more over the years.
Look at his little paw.
That's cute.
Yeah, he like hugs me.
So now if you don't feed the cat, he just meows really loud outside.
He's just like, meow.
feed the cat, he just meows really loud outside. He's just like,
meow.
Meow.
Meow.
Meow.
Wow, that's awful.
And I'll peek through the blinds, and he's just
sitting there, not even looking at the window.
80,000 people just stopped watching this podcast.
We're talking about cats.
You don't like the cat talk like no no it's the meowing i don't like the meowing no one likes it exactly uh it's uh yeah i i don't know i'm very excited about my cat i don't know
i've never had a cat before i hope i'm taking care of it properly you should leave water if it's hot
that's all the um but then it becomes a responsibility you probably have to do it all
the sellers were telling me about the cat they said that they've had a couple cats come and go
and um but this is the first one that really chose the stable as their like home and and uh when we
first moved there there were like six kittens and they said yeah
this is like the second or third litter of kittens they just handled themselves and i was like this
handle themselves is that you know like what's the scoop with that and they don't know but i do know
there's lots of like hawks and falcons and shit and i think that might be what happens to the
kittens i'm not sure but we didn't own the house when I discovered the kittens. And by the time we did own the house, they had all dispersed.
I don't know if they died or what.
Woody has fucking eagles at his new residence.
Yeah.
Dude, like big birds with long wings.
And we have, oh, get this.
So my mother-in-law is 70.
I think she's 74.
She might be 75.
But if I call her that, she gets like really mad like i'm
not 75 i'm only 74 anyway like whatever but what's funny is every time we go outside with her and
this has been happening for like a year now vultures circle like wherever she is vultures
are circling yeah like at her house and then she'll go to the mall and there'll be vultures are circling yeah like at her house and then she'll go to the mall and there'll be vultures like everywhere she goes it's become like a family joke now there are vultures following her
everywhere which is that's pretty macabre just there are there's animal instincts they can
sense something's about to drop there are tons of buzzards where i live and it's funny whenever
someone will come here for the first time especially if they're from like i don they're from California. They've flown in from LA or something to do something
with us. They'll be looking at these things flying and be like, ooh, look at all those
hawks. Are those eagles? What are they? I'm like, those are buzzards. They smell something.
They probably found some roadkill. That's why they're circling. Oh, okay.
Not quite as majestic.
Not quite as majestic.
Have you ever seen one up close? They're hideous.
They're disgusting
rat birds.
I'm going to go with them.
One of their defense
mechanisms is to vomit on you.
What?
You know who would never vomit on you?
Squarespace.
Segway like a boss.
Thank you for that.
Thank you for that. That's right.
Squarespace.com slash PKA. We are proud to have
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tonight. Squarespace, of course, is the
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We really should have used Squarespace for
the PKA. Maybe we'd have a flippin'
website by now if we did.
Squarespace dot com, I would say, is
much better than buzzard vomit.
I mean, if you're a
buzzard enthusiast, you could use
Squarespace and you could blog,
you could post pictures, videos.
For those of you that have never
seen a buzzard up close, perhaps you could do
a Squarespace themed site
Yeah
Buzzards.net
See maybe that's available
I wonder if buzzard vomit is taken
Let's check this out
What is the
What is the ETA on the PKA website
Oh I have nothing to do with it
Chiz is on that
I gotcha
It'll be done sooner if we just pay the $8
a month and get Squarespace.
How do you spell buzzard? B-U-Z-Z-A-R-D?
Correct. Yeah, that's how I spelled it.
Buzzardvomit.com
is
checking.
Are you in the market
for a mess of buzzardvomit?
It's available.
Buzzard vomit.
You can get.com,.net, and.org.
Can you get.biz?
Can you get.tv?
Checking.
I'll have them all.
I will have to quick show more.
.tv is available.
I want all of your buzzard-themed domains.
Why is.tv so much more expensive?
Cornering the market.
They could sell t-shirts
shop.buzzardvomit.com
isn't the reason that they vomit on you
because it smells so rancid
that animals have to leave
I honestly don't know
but I feel like the fact that they eat rotten animals
for a living
would make their vomit
extra bad.
Yeah, that probably doesn't smell nice.
It seems like a safe bet, doesn't it?
It's illegal to shoot them,
unfortunately, because...
I wonder why.
Are they endangered?
No, they're just a federally protected species.
They're nature's sanitation department.
They eat roadkill.
The garbage men? Yeah, the garbage men of the... They're nature's sanitation department. They eat roadkill. They eat anything that's dead.
They're the garbage men.
Yeah, they're the garbage men of the...
Speaking of garbage men, let me tell you what my garbage man did for me today.
All right, so let me start from the beginning.
Yesterday, yeah, yesterday I went outside and my garbage had been infiltrated.
The bags torn open and the refuse scattered
into my yard. And the bin had actually been pulled open. I've got a really big garbage bin.
I didn't know what it was until I came back later that day and I caught a dog out there. It's like
a 30, 40 pound, like just mutt that didn't have a collar. And it's just, he looked wild. And so I
ran him off and I picked the garbage up,
put it back in the thing.
Then last night, it happened again.
This time, it was worse.
I even went to the precaution of spraying this
apple bitter stuff
that's supposed to prevent dogs from chewing stuff.
I soaked the garbage in that shit.
Last night, he tore it completely open,
even more so.
He ripped open three total giant
garbage bags and it was everywhere
and I didn't know what to do. I was considering
killing this dog and I was trying to
figure out how I was going to kill it and everything.
If it came back. Why is that
option one?
It's like I tried making the garbage
stinky. Option one was the apple bitter stuff.
Option two is
kill the dog.
It's nobody else's dog and I'm not going to be cleaning that garbage up
every day. Anyway.
It's nobody else's dog?
No, that's a wild dog. That's not a pet.
What's the dog's name?
He doesn't have... His name's Brown Dog.
Brown Dog!
Now that you've named him, you can't kill him.
Fucking Brown Dog.
So anyway, I was thinking about that,
and then I was
going to clean the garbage up tomorrow, or later
today, this afternoon rather,
and then the garbage man showed up, and I was downstairs
playing video games, and I didn't hear
him show up.
And he picked up all of that
rotten, dirty garbage,
all of the hot wing trash,
all of the saucy
dryer sheets,
the coffee ground soaked
fucking trash lid,
everything. He cleaned it all up,
bagged it all up, put it in his
truck and took it away and said
nothing.
That's the kind of person you want clean in your hotel
room too. Someone who doesn't judge isn't just
clean.
But now I feel like... That's the kind of person you want clean in your hotel room, too. Someone who doesn't judge isn't just clean. But now I feel like a real asshole
because I'm sure he feels like I left him with this big mess on purpose,
and that's not the truth
because today is not the day he normally comes.
And the dog has made me look bad.
So now I'm really wanting to kill the dog.
You know how you can look better in the garbage man's eyes?
I mean... I'm going to tip him.
Leave the dead dog out next week.
I'm going to give him $10 or $20.
Probably $20.
That was a real mess that fucker had made.
I'm not going to put up
with another one of those messes. If he does it again, he's going to have to go.
I'm going to do my best to secure my garbage,
but if he gets back in there, he's got to fucking go.
Goodbye brown dog.
Goodbye, brown dog.
I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to shoot people.
What kind of dog is he?
Can you get a vibe?
I'm sure he's a mutt, but is he majorly lab or pit bull?
Kind of a narrow head, kind of a lanky body.
Like a Weimaraner, greyhound-y type thing.
Sounds like a good killing.
Yeah, like a 30-45 pound dog.
He's a small dog.
Not even 45 probably.
Yeah, I would kill that too.
I like bigger dogs.
I got the crazy ammo.
I figure I could one shot.
He'll never even feel it.
I don't know what to do about that dog.
We don't have dog catchers here.
That's not a thing.
I would think shotgun.
No dog catchers?
What would be your weapon of choice?
I'm going to shoot him with a Silenced Chris Vector
over here with a.45 hollow point
and shoot him in the head.
He'll never feel it.
No. He wouldn't even hear it.
He wouldn't even hear it.
It's silenced, right.
It's subsonic.
It's subsonic. It's subsonic, yeah.
It's literally as loud
as a paintball gun. That's what this thing
sounds like when you shoot it. It's crazy.
How long did you think about the dog and the problems it was
causing before you decided
that killing it was the best course of action?
I was
talking to Kitty. I was like, what else could we
do?
She's like, well, is it a keep dog? And I'm like to Kitty. I was like, what else could we do? She's like, well, is it a cute dog?
And I'm like, nope.
It's an ugly dog, and it's covered in mud right now.
It looks pretty feral.
It looked real wild-eyed when it saw me and ran like a motherfucker,
like a coyote or something.
I'm like, well, maybe there's something we could spray on the garbage
that would keep him away.
And then we tried that, and it failed.
So I don't know
what else to do next. So runner up
idea
is the murder.
Yeah like option two is
this brand new weapon I just got
so. On a scale of
one to Ireland how much do you
want to kill this dog right now?
If I'm being honest I don't
want to kill it at all and I'm going to feel honest, I don't want to kill it at all.
And I'm going to feel bad if I have to.
But I can't have my garbage
torn open every night.
That can't be a new part of my life, is like cleaning up
that dog's mess every morning.
Well, it doesn't sound like that's going to be a part of your life. It sounds like
the new part of your life is that it's going to make a ruckus
and then some man will stealthily come by
with a truck and take care of it.
Yeah, I think... Oh, no, I can't be doing that either.
I feel like a real scumbag for having him clean up the dog's mess
because it was my mess to clean up, and I was planning to clean it up,
and I would never have done that to him.
I feel like an asshole.
I feel like he thinks I'm an asshole, I think,
because he knocked on the door, and I just ignored it
because I was like, I didn't know who it was, and I was playing He knocked on the door, and I just ignored it, because I was like,
I didn't know who it was.
I was playing Shadow of Mordor, quite frankly,
and I was really fucking some
shit up, and I didn't have time for whoever was knocking on that
door.
Oh, speaking of Shadow of Mordor,
have you had trouble
with those stupid fucking generals?
Like, in the beginning, you run into all
the high-level ones on your way to the other
low-level ones, and they just beat the shit out of you.
And then they level up when they beat you.
So they just get better and better.
I've been in a situation where, like, I started
fighting one general and his posse,
and then, like, another general showed up,
and then another, and then
another.
There were five, like,
captains or whatever.
The guys who were in Sauron's army in that little menu. There was five of those that I was fighting.
I had killed all of the minions.
It was just five ranked up guys who threw crazy
combinations or had poison weapons.
You couldn't stun them or something like that.
They're all super ranked up.
And the only way I could kill them was I went and got one of those Karazors and started riding it.
And I just rode through the middle of them,
chopping them with a sword, riding that fucking Karazor
and got a lot of boat.
Oh, and I led them by one of those exploding campfires
and I blew them all up.
But yeah, you do that a lot.
You run into high-ranking generals.
And a lot of the times
you know some other you'll be fighting
one guy and you've almost got him whipped and then like
some other super badass guy
like he's like oh am I spoiling
the party
it's like go the defiler
and you're just like oh great go the defiler
this year now did you notice how it went
from like 0 to 60 as far as how good
the captains were cause like the first captain you face now. Did you notice how it went from like 0 to 60 as far as how good the captains were?
Because like the first captain you face, it's like
you know, Mungy the
Pitiful or some shit.
And it's just like this swirly little fuck
and it has like strengths and weaknesses.
And strengths, it's like has a sword.
And then weaknesses are like
you know,
terrified of fire, terrified of animals.
Will not, will flee from arrow attacks.
And it's like, all right, all right.
But the third captain in there,
it's like, strengths, can summon dragons,
fire, mild forms of wizardry,
and then weaknesses.
And one of the strengths that's popped up is
constantly, very quickly regenerates health
and cannot be burned.
And it's an ability called Fearless.
So you come in on your tiger or whatever
and they're like, oh, fuck off, man.
I'm not going to run.
Yeah, sometimes they have a thing called Beast Slayer
where you'll ride in on your Karazor,
which is like a giant monster,
and they'll just immediately be like,
and kill your Karazor.
And you're just like, what the fuck?
Dude, and one of them has an arrow immunity.
So you can shoot him from a distance
with as many arrows as you want,
and he'll just laugh at you.
Some of them have cool weaknesses, though.
Some of them, the only way to kill them
is by stealthily sneaking up on them
and stabbing them,
and there's high-ranking guys
that you can kill in one whack that way.
Some of them you can kill with
one arrow strike.
It's a fun game. I've been playing a lot.
I'm going to play it whenever we get done with this.
I've been enjoying it more and more the more I play it.
Do you have an OPS 4?
No, I got Xbox One.
Xbox One?
I wish I had a PlayStation 4.
You think Xbox will send us one of those too?
Microsoft, if you're listening, send us a PS4.
He wants that more, apparently.
You should email him back and be like,
hey, the boys have been talking it over.
They wanted to ship back those Xboxes
and maybe you guys can hook us up with a PS4.
Do you have any contacts with Sony?
What do you play in Optic?
I play both.
I actually, I've been trying to
get off the ground on a playthrough channel.
So I've been doing playthroughs and
play games on the PS4 over there.
But for like
Call of Duty and multiplayer,
it's Xbox.
It's where all my friends are and it's more competitive.
More competitive?
Yeah, that's what you see the tournaments get played
on and more people kind of take it seriously.
They just updated their
ranked play playlist on Advanced Warfare.
So I've been playing that.
And I mean, not to say PlayStation 4 doesn't
have that. They definitely do, but
the whole console, if you do
game battles and stuff like that, is just more
oriented to Xbox
because that's currently what the main
system is. It actually used to be
PlayStation back in the day
Well if you go way back
like to Modern Warfare 2
PlayStation players were considered to be
not as good and if you were to get a
beastly PlayStation
They still aren't. I see a lot of
YouTubers use ps4
gameplay because the players on it suck really yeah i haven't i don't even have call of duty
for playstation 4 though i just i like the graphics on the xbox i know they're the same but
i just like the controller it's easy to see why too like oh yeah i was at gamestop the other day
and i guess it was the day a couple days after Christmas, so they were having some blowout sale.
I didn't know it.
I just wanted to buy a couple games.
I ended up in this crazy long line.
I almost walked out, but I waited anyway.
And there was these two moms behind me discussing video game consoles.
And it quickly became apparent why all the noobs were on PlayStation.
They were just like, oh, yeah, yeah.
No, we don't pay for it at Xbox Live.
PlayStation's free. Yeah, yeah. No, we don't pay for it at Xbox Live. PlayStation's free.
Yeah, yeah.
Is that still true with the PS4?
No, it's not.
But I think you've got a culture of that
throughout the years.
Everybody serious about first-person
shooters on the console
got an Xbox pretty much.
I won't say everybody, but more
people on Xbox were serious about it.
The headsets, the whole thing.
There's lots of things that contributed to it.
Back in Modern Warfare 2,
the mics, of course.
They had crappy Bluetooth free
things that your mom got at a conference
for her phone.
In
Modern Warfare 2, it was so apparent.
I remember when I got that adapter so I could play on PlayStation with my Xbox controller.
And I would get a gameplay every third game. Just really fucking kid about it.
You get like a 30kD in free-for-all every third game.
Yeah, that's what I was going for. I was going for like a 30 in 0 or a 30 in 1 free-for-all or a nuke or something.
And you just get out of FAMAS and you're dead silence class
or ninja class, I guess,
and it was easy. They were bad.
Nobody was using ninja. Nobody had headsets.
You could sound whore for days.
It was great. Super casual.
It's just geared more towards casual people, and that's
cool. I mean, I play single-player games on it.
One Sony
game that was really awesome was The Last of Us.
I played the remastered version on the PlayStation 4.
It was friggin' awesome.
I want to play that now.
That's a good call.
You should.
You should definitely.
It's worth playing just for the story.
There's not a whole lot of, like, actual, like, super, like, game that you have to do.
There's some stuff you have to figure out.
But it's more like a really good story.
So I was excited when I played that.
But yeah, for it, like, I'd play
it probably not at all.
Like, not that much.
Unless I'm sitting down to record, I don't really play
the PlayStation. Because part of it, too, is like
when I decided, you know, back in the day
to get 360
or PlayStation, I had
until that point gotten PS1, PS2.
And I was like, oh, I'll probably get a PS3. But they were actually, I had, until that point, gotten PS1, PS2, and I was like, oh, I'll probably get a PS3,
but they were actually, I think,
more expensive, or they didn't have as many
games out at the time, so I went with
the 360, and
I'm actually glad I did that now.
I mean, who knows? It's so crazy to think that
would have happened if I would have got a PlayStation
back then, would all this still have happened
if I met the same people?
I would have never thought about that.
Yeah. FPS Russia may have never happened when I met the same people. I've never thought about that. Yeah.
FPS Russia may have never happened if I had bought that PlayStation
instead.
That's very true.
It's crazy to think about. And then when Call of Duty 4
came out, a bunch of guys
I hadn't been playing first person shooters.
I really just wanted to play Madden
on the 360 when I caught it.
Their graphics looked so sick.
And then the guys at work, they were like, Oh yeah, you've got to get Call of Duty 4. You
got to get it. I'm like, okay, I'll get it. I'll get it. And so I go on COD 4. I complete
the entire campaign in one city. I don't even think I moved or blinked the entire time.
And I went back to work the next day, and I was like, man, that game is sick. You guys
were right. They're like, oh, cool, you know, did you play Team Deathmatch, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, what do you mean? I did, like, the story. And they're like, man, that game is sick. You guys were right. They're like, oh, cool. Did you play Team Deathmatch?
Blah, blah, blah.
I'm like, what do you mean?
I did the story.
And they're like, there's multiplayer.
I'm like, oh.
So I go home again.
And I start playing multiplayer.
And then I was just hooked.
It was like, I don't know.
It was like a drug.
I was just like, I need to play God 4.
I was hooked, too.
Same thing happened.
I played the single player on veteran.
So I thought that I'd enter multiplayer being really good.
Like you said,
your advanced training.
Yeah, exactly. Don't worry, Captain Price.
I'm right here with you.
Shoot the target.
I was a multiplayer and I honestly thought...
Team deathmatch timers counting down.
You're about to spawn and you're looking left and right.
You're like, I'll play with Captain Price.
I got this.
Yeah, I thought I was was gonna be a beast you know like i i knew how to use the noob tube and stuff like that from the campaign i was i was fully ready and then like forever i had
no idea where i was going like i learned the maps really slow was the first maps i ever really
learned and uh i Domination a lot because
maybe Domination Headquarters, things like that
because it told you where to run. Even if I didn't know
where I was going, I could generally just head toward
that thing and find the objective.
That's how I started.
I sucked for a long time.
That was terrible. The first game I went into,
I remember it was Team Deathmatch on Overgrown.
I had no clue what I was doing,
I didn't even, like, I was using, like, the pre-made
class, no idea what's going on.
And, uh, I can hear,
like, I don't have my mic in, because, like,
I don't want to talk to anybody, and I hear
these guys in the game chat, I can hear
them through my TV, no headset, and I hear them
blaring through my TV, they
call out my gamer tag, they're like,
man, this person fucking
sucks. Can't believe they're on IT. They start going in on me, and I'm just like, oh my god.
So I leave, and I went and played Free For All. So I was like, nobody has to depend on
me. I depend on anybody else, and I'll figure this out. So once I started doing that, I
was insta-hooked. I was even more hooked than I was before. Once I went into Free For All and I was like,
oh my gosh, when you win a Free For All,
you feel like you're better on that map
against those seven other people and that is what
really hooks me on it. I still to this
day, Free For All is probably my favorite thing
to play and Search and Destroy.
Can you guys hear that
banging on my mic? Is it picking it up at all?
Not really. I'm not
noticing anything. My son is down there rocking cup stacking.
I kind of want to show it to you guys. Have you ever seen cup stacking?
Yeah, it's intense.
Do you want to see Colin do it?
Yeah, go get him.
Alright, hold on. He'll do it.
Alright.
Cool.
Hey, Colin.
Is he going to sing the song like that one girl too?
I hope there's no singing.
No, not me. I'm dreadful at it.
Bring the mat too.
I need to figure out how to... I've got a security camera outside that looks at the trash cans and even
right away access it with my phone others with
away from you when the dogs out yeah and he pretty cool and I'm rigged
a gunner sons are dark gun to the camera I when you can remotely neutralize the
threat
this is one of those quadro's yeah you're on I was you say to run in
yeah and not Richard Ryan girl of those quadrotors. Yeah, get a drone. I was going to say, drone it. They're not.
Richard Ryan built a drone to drop a lot of things.
Can you use the drone to drop some
gas? We don't do it yet, Colin.
Richard Ryan
designed one. Wow, it's like a whole set.
This is crazy.
Look at that. Those cups have holes in them.
Yeah, it's like a whole thing.
It's a professional stacker's cup. Yeah, that's like a whole thing. It's a professional stacker's cup.
Yeah, that is like a...
Those are not for drinking.
All right, ready?
Oh, sorry.
On your mark, get set, go!
Ah! This is ridiculous.
That is crazy. There's a lot of those cups.
Yeah.
What did he get?
It times you?
Yeah.
I can't read it.
19.
Do you have to do something specific?
Yeah, you have to assemble it.
Watch, the same thing will happen again.
Go ahead, Colin, do another run.
Crush it this time.
Let's go.
I'm thinking 17 seconds this time.
Oh, he's going to hit 60.
For those listening in their car or whatever,
Colin is stacking the cups very quickly.
He's a master.
He's a cup stacking master.
18.
So he beat it by a second his previous time.
I got 18.590.
What's his best time?
14-something is his best time.
What's the cutoff for being an elite cup stack? If he does better than 20, it's a pretty good thing for him.
Oh, he's teaching you now. He's going in slow-mo for you.
I can see myself trying this for like 3 minutes. I'm like, this is stupid!
I don't want to do this. He's pretty smooth. Look at his hands.
He is. That's impressive. Stop.
It's on time.
It'll be done.
He's just going through.
It's the sides, no thing now.
He says you grab it from the sides, not the tops.
It's not this, it's this.
Are there holes in the top of the cups?
Yeah, they're for storage actually.
Colin, oh wait, he's got the thing going.
And for speed.
Oh. Wait, not the cups. actually Colin oh wait he's got he hasn't had a really smooth run yet I think the press is getting to him. That was over 20. Wow.
I don't know what's more impressive, how fast he can stack them or how fast he gets them back into the lake.
That's cool.
I've seen some YouTube videos of this stuff.
I watched one with some Asian kid
that was just ludicrous.
Yeah, I think I've seen a little Asian kid go ham on it.
This is it.
We choose this.
You're doing really well.
Put the cup upside down.
I like the House Stark shirt.
Yeah, that's cool.
Fuck that up.
Woody, I want to see your best attempt.
I'm kind of embarrassed.
He makes me look bad.
Alright, Colin, one more.
Let's get a smooth run.
What?
How does it go down? Alright, Colin, bring it. Last's get a smooth run. Like this. What? How does it go down?
Alright, Colin, bring it.
Last chance. Okay, wait.
Go.
Oops.
I wonder who the first person to do this is.
19.
I got 19.3.
Halfway.
42 seconds. Anything less than 20 is good.
Yeah, anything less than 20 is pretty strong for him.
I don't know what the Top Top guys do.
I don't know.
All right, Kyle. You can go. I guess the 20 is pretty strong for him. I don't know what the Top Top guys do. SpongeBob Passive.
Alright, Colin.
Here you go.
I just like that he has a cool little
head.
That's awesome. Thanks.
Is that a cup holder?
Yeah.
You spared no expense.
That turned out to be the favorite Christmas present.
We got him this big marble contraption.
It's kind of like an erector set, but it's not actually that company.
It's some German company.
And that was what we thought would be the hit,
but the cup stackers by far have gotten most of his attention.
He brings them everywhere.
That's probably funny as a parent when like you're excited for your kid to get a gift and
think you knocked out of the park and then they just love some random ass thing that you bought
him as like an ancillary present like i'll get him this too that's exactly how that went down
but jackie loved the marble thing she ended up putting it together it was tough it took her like five days she like
jackie gets so into stuff she deprioritizes everything else like even important functions
and just like until it's consumed and finished up and that that's what this marble thing was for her
but now it works it's in the kitchen it seems marbles going all over the place all the time
that's awesome yeah i want to see the Marvel thing now. Yeah, that sounds impressive too.
I want to see all of the
Woody's Gamertag family gifts.
Right?
Get the fam and parade them through.
I talked about this stuff at the dollar store. Just imagine
what it's like being Woody's kid.
It's like the scene
from Aladdin when he
struts into town with all that crazy shit.
Prince Alibaba is here. Prince Alibaba. Aladdin when he like struts into town with all that crazy shit. Let me see.
I have a picture of the coolest thing.
Let's see.
Let me wave.
This will be...
Here's a little snapshot
of the marble contraption.
Let me put myself on the big picture.
This is what it looks like.
Oh, shit.
Whoa.
That's just a little close-up.
You're not kidding.
It's pretty big.
That thing's cool.
And, oh, waiting for my phone to reload stuff.
That looks pretty serious.
That's not the plastic one that i had as a kid
here this is my favorite thing this is our garage at the new house i don't know if i'm
ever going to paint the floor or anything but the green one's mine the little one's the kids
that was their biggest i can't even point to stuff I'm retarded
that blue thing it's a shared
present for the two kids but that was their biggest thing
this year
already claimed an arm
oh dude
I'm not supposed to talk about
this but it's possible that
Hope broke the neighbor's arm
like the first day
what'd she do?
Did she run them over?
Remember the thing about how it never
been rolled?
That's not a thing anymore.
Good for her.
Colin rolled it. He was solo in it
and he hurt his arm.
But it wasn't like...
I don't think either of them broke it.
So Colin went there. I was scared he broke his arm. It looked fine but he couldn't like it. I don't think either of them broke it. So Colin went there.
I was scared he broke his arm.
It looked fine, but he couldn't bend it in certain ways.
And we went, we got x-rays and they said it was just like the connective tissue between the radii and ulnar.
And now that it would be fine in whatever week or two.
And it seems to be, he's fine now.
He's doing parkour and everything.
And our neighbor came over and she's a really good kid
you know great kid and uh um she like hope was driving and she rolled it i think on the neighbor's
side and she put her arm out to like brace her it has a five point harness and everything so she was
locked in and you know safe but uh she put her arm out and hurt it a little or something and I asked her like
she hung out with us the rest of the night and and like you know it because
hope had a bunch of friends over and this girl wasn't like part of that
friend group I spent a lot of time talking to her they included her but you
know how it is like you hang out with seven people who know each other you
only get to like be inserted every now and then so I made sure that she had someone to talk to she never mentioned that it hurt you know i asked her several times if
she was okay and then uh they took her to the doctor because like two or three days later it
was still bugging her and they said it was broken and they put a cast on it and then they were like
i guess they took another x-ray as they downgraded to a more flexible cast. They said that either she has Wolverine-like
healing powers or it wasn't broken
after all.
They're not positive.
The first guy thought it was broken and the next guy said
it wasn't, but she did hurt her arm
and we feel bad.
She's a really good kid.
How do you not know if somebody's broken an arm?
I've broken my arm.
You know if you've broken your arm or at least if it hurts that bad.
It hurts a lot, especially if you're a kid.
I can't wait to drive that go-kart.
Take your arms in.
Yeah, it needed actually a little bit of repair.
It wasn't idling well or something, so I've got that all sorted out.
Even when it was new, it didn't shift from forward neutral to reverse very well.
Like it goes in four,
but reverse is kind of like,
I don't know.
It doesn't go in there reliably.
So I'm going to sort that out and then it'll be a hundred percent.
We'll be ready to go.
But I've just been focused on other stuff.
But,
but yeah,
that go-kart was their biggest present this year.
And so far it's just a wrecking machine of irresponsibility.
That's what it's supposed to be.
That's what it's made for.
I got a weird letter in the mail today.
I guess the IRS made some sort of a mistake.
It basically said that they were crediting me
the entire sum of my 2012 tax tax, of my 2012 tax payment,
which was quite a hefty sum.
It's some sort of mistake.
We talked to our accountant.
She's like, oh, I'll get that straightened out.
That's weird.
But like, they were trying to give me back
a large sum of money,
and that just can't be.
It was the entire sum that I paid in 2012,
so it just doesn't make sense.
That was a good year, too.
Pretty good year.
Yeah, so.
It was enough to buy one it was enough to buy one
of those missiles yeah right yeah you could have uh taken out some isis members or something
dude new story you guys are we ready for a new topic uh-huh did you hear about that Texas bus crash? No. Dude, so there's a bus.
It has three, like, officers on it, like prison guards.
And it has 12 prisoners.
It's icy in Texas.
These guys don't know how to drive on the ice.
So they skid off the interstate and crash.
And then a train comes by and hits the bus filled with prisoners.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Have you ever seen the movie Fugitive?
Yes.
Yes.
This is how the movie Fugitive goes.
You realize that, right?
So it got hit by the train on the tracks?
Because that's just Fugitive.
Yeah.
What happened next?
Harrison Ford showed up.
There were ten fatalities,
two correctional officers,
and eight inmates died.
Did any escape?
Four of the crash victims were in critical condition.
Are we running out yet?
No, that's all but one.
Uh-oh. Ten dead and five hurt? No, that's all but one. Uh-oh.
Ten dead and five hurt.
It appears that none of them
escaped.
They were all either pretty injured or
dead.
I want to hear Tommy Lee Jones
confirm that before I'm signing off.
Yes.
He's a 16th passenger.
Well, a terrible tragedy in Texas
Let's hope they were all
They were all
Bad criminals
Yeah
Yeah right
Let's hope that they were criminals
That um
Needed a
That needed a good killing
A training
Needed training
We trained them
Oh really
Like a GED
No
That's not how we do it in Texas
No like
GE
GE train
Yeah right Fucking locomotive Trains were huge I uh I was stopped at No, that's not how we do it in Texas. No, like GE. GE train. Yeah, right?
Fucking locomotive.
Trains are huge.
I was stopped at a train crossing the other day,
and I didn't count the cars,
but the thing must have been a mile long at least.
It goes 40 miles per hour,
and it just went on forever.
I wonder how much horsepower those locomotives have.
I don't know.
Did you ever like put pennies or quarters on the train tracks?
Yes.
Oh, many times.
Yeah.
I used to do all sorts of train stuff.
Like where I grew up, there was a train track maybe call it like three blocks away.
And we would hop on those trains and use them as transportation.
We'd put like pennies and,
you know,
bigger stuff.
Um,
sometimes rocks on the tracks.
Yeah.
See what happens.
Rocks just get pushed off as far as I can tell.
Little rocks.
Like,
you know,
no,
we never put anything like big on it.
You weren't piling things onto the track.
Right.
Put all my dad's lawn furniture on it.
Let's do it.
People would do that. Like, um, big wheels, uh's lawn furniture on it let's see what happened people would do that like um
big wheels uh lawn furniture bicycles um there was a guy who lost his leg uh on the train tracks
but i didn't know like i wasn't close how embarrassing is that how does that happen
it's not trying to get on it yeah the train would go slow enough that it was just a little bit faster than my full speed.
So you'd run full speed next to the train and kind of like eyeball the ladder.
The cars have ladders hanging on them.
And kind of eyeball the ladder as it passes you and then latch on and pick your feet up.
And I don't know how I fell into the train.
This is a long time ago, but the ladder seemed like it was three or four feet away from the wheels.
Like it'd be kind of weird to swing under and actually get past a wheel.
But I guess that happened to somebody.
You know,
I always thought like,
if this goes wrong,
I kind of fall straight down.
And what a way to get,
what a way to lose your leg.
That's just to tell that story.
What an old timey predicament to find yourself in too. Like, to tell that story the rest of his life. What an old-timey predicament
to find yourself in, too.
Think about that. What happened to Bill?
He lost his leg.
What happened? Train.
What?
What is he, a prospector?
The train?
Like a locomotive? A steam engine?
What the fuck?
It doesn't even make any sense how does
that happen although i guess i guess i see a lot of times people getting hit by subway trains that's
a different thing altogether though yeah people used to get hurt like i never no one in our town
as far as i know this happened but people that rode on trains would get crushed by the cargo
like it seems like a safe thing to do like so you get on the car and then if you get between like the
cargo and the there's like a flat bed and it's kind of like a big u-shape and if you go right
here it's not windy or anything it seems like a really nice place to hang out but as they speed
up or go up hills that cargo can slide against the side of the u like it just smushes whoever's
there people used to get hurt like that. But I never got...
I always stand on the ladder.
All of this can be avoided just by not hanging out
on trains like a fucking vagabond.
Never get on a train.
This was definitely
before the internet, man.
Nowadays, people just reread it.
Yeah.
I wish I had jumped on a train. I was thinking about it the other day
watching that one pass my car
but it was going like 40
there's no way
I don't know if they went slow because it was near a neighborhood
or sometimes they go slow because
the tracks are not in good condition
yeah
it seems like the train that goes
through my little town goes particularly
slow when it's actually going through the town
so maybe it does slow down for that yeah we used to have all sorts of train fun we would just like expect them to go by and
yeah it was cool we didn't have any like do you see the movie stand by me i think that's what
it was called where there was like a giant bridge and the train would come by and you didn't want
to be caught on the bridge that was my scenario, but it didn't exist nearby me.
So, Murka Durka
said last week that Gone
Girl was terrible and he did not
like it. I did not enjoy it.
Woody and I
watched Gone Girl with Chiz
during the interim
and we both really enjoyed it.
All three of us. I liked it.
It took so long to get nowhere.
It was slow.
It was two movies.
I didn't feel like it was slow.
At first, it was very slow,
but once the bitch started going crazy
and you found out that she was going crazy,
then it got really interesting to me.
She was really crazy, too.
Yeah, not even like, oh, shit, that bitch is crazy.
No, she's like crazy, crazy, crazy.
Yeah, she's like a psychopath.
And see, if they would have cut out the hokey pokey,
my lover and I like to fuck in the library nonsense from the beginning,
all that note reading.
If they got rid of that and shortened the movie by about half an hour,
it would have been a good movie.
That's the problem with that film
the hot chick having sex in the film
if they could just cut that out
then my gay friend Merkur would be happier
you can still show her naked or whatever you want
but I don't want to watch the
reminiscing, the boring parts
the diary entries
yeah the diary entries
those were important
to her whole setup, though.
The twist came in as well.
I liked it. I liked the movie
very much.
I know objectively I'm probably wrong
because everybody seems to enjoy it,
but maybe I was in
not the right state of mind when I watched it.
I just did not enjoy it.
What about Neil Patrick Harris' performance?
That was pretty awesome.
How dark
he got and how quickly it happened.
I liked that. He got creepy.
He was like a kind
creepy thing.
It was scary.
And you could see her character go from
like, oh god, I
should be afraid of him to
he should be afraid of me.
You could see it happen. At first for a while it seemed like she was afraid of him, too. He should be afraid of me. You could see it happen.
At first, for a while, it seemed like she was afraid of him.
Then she was just like,
He's gone too far.
Let me just go ahead and take care of this.
She was so scary, so cold and calculated.
Very good performance on her part.
Ben Affleck did a great job.
I can't wait to see him as Batman now.
I have a question.
I think it's...
You know what?
At the risk of doing
spoilers,
I'll just
type the question in here.
Let's see.
We can't give you
any spoilers for
Gone Girl because
nothing consequential happens. Nothing changes.
No, that wasn't.
The ending kind of made me upset.
You don't think it was? No, I'll type to you.
I don't think it was either.
Well, you guys both just missed
an important part. She
used...
Because he had went to a...
They mentioned that.
Oh, right, right, right.
Yeah, he said that he had done all his stuff
to make that happen and such.
And so she came to him with this news
that she had went and done all this.
He's like, I haven't.
I'll type it again.
They had a fight about it, and she explained.
I don't think this part is not a spoiler.
They mention this in the first two minutes, don't they?
No, this is near the end of the movie.
Oh, okay, that part.
Yeah.
Okay, okay, now I know.
Yeah, so it was a very good movie.
It's a movie that you have to pay attention to.
There's a lot going on.
Yeah.
It's sort of a whodunit mystery thriller type
with a couple of twists, A couple of twists. My strategy
is to barely pay attention and
then ask Kyle and Chiz questions as
if I'm not good at following movies.
I do it every week.
Yeah,
I just don't have that skill.
What is that guy in the movie? He's like,
so who's the bad guy?
Is he asking you to explain characters as they're showing up for the first time why doesn't she like her uncle he raped her in the opening what do you
this is what happens this is what really does happen so why there'll be a scene of like say
a woman wearing t-shirt and panties the next day and it's like
did they just did they have sex or did they
not have like what am I meant to
infer from her like
pajama outfit the next day
and she's in Kyle always seem to
know like oh yeah no that didn't happen oh yeah that
most certainly happened I'm like I
well if the girls were in like the guy's
t-shirt or like one of those big oversized
dress shirts the next morning,
then I think it's pretty fair to say that they fucked.
There was one situation...
Dolan outclosed the random chicks for no reason.
There was one situation where the two characters were married
and you didn't realize,
and it was, like, 25 minutes into the film.
And we had to pause it,
and Chiz and I were, like, flabbergasted.
I was like, remember? They zoomed in on his ring, and then they had to pause it, and Chiz and I were like flabbergasted. I was like, remember?
They zoomed in on his ring, and then they had the knowing look.
Yeah, the look, the look, right?
And I'm like, yeah, the look.
They looked at each other in the ring and in the place setting,
and it was just like, you were just like, I didn't see any of that.
I don't know.
I'm not sure.
You guys are reading a lot into this.
I don't know if you're married or not.
They had the same last name.
They lived in the same bed.
Was that the historical movie?
The Billy the Kid one?
That you're thinking of?
Perhaps.
Yeah, I don't know.
That movie was a challenge.
That movie was a challenge.
That was a bit artsy.
That was Casey Affleck's movie. It's a little artsy. That was Casey Affleck's movie.
It's a little artsy.
You've got to really read into it.
There's not a lot of soundtrack to it.
In fairness, that movie is the one that I summarized at the end.
What's the name of this movie you're talking about?
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford.
What a terrible title.
Yeah, but Kyle crushed it.
That's it, yeah.
And that was an artsy movie you said?
God, that just means...
What's Brad Pitt?
Artsy just means pretentious and up your own ass.
It's Brad Pitt playing Jesse James
and Casey Affleck playing Robert Ford.
It's pretty long-winded.
As far as I know know it was historically accurate
very much so and that doesn't make for a good movie nope you want jesse james going
riding around like shooting eight guys at once with his six shooter where's the part where they
put him in a treasure chest and threw him out of a second story window and then he took on 92 bad
guys at the same time i know that was billy
the kid but whatever yeah that makes for a good movie we're like very accurate there's like 130
people some of them with a gatling gun he pulls out two six shooters it's like i got you all now
that's what i like in a western that's that's my my cup of tea I don't mind if they're human characters down to earth
like William Money in Unforgiven
he gets his ass kicked
about three quarters of the way through the film
that's the best Western ever made by the way
Unforgiven is so fucking good
but this movie
that movie was still good
it had it's moments but I think it's like
two and a half hours long, maybe more. And I feel
like, you know, we drug on so much with
Jeremy Renner's character and
so much. It seemed like they were really trying to show us
just how horrible it was to be alive back then.
There was no... They didn't really
play it the romance of the era
or anything. It's just like, yeah, everything was like gray
skies and muddy streets.
I want to see American Sniper. That's the next
movie I'm interested in. Yeah, I really want to see that.
That looks really good.
I'm waiting for Better Torrance.
I mean, the DVD to be available.
It's nominated for Best Picture.
Bradley Cooper's nominated for Best Actor.
And I think either he's going to win it
or Steve Carell is going to win it
for his acting in Foxcatcher,
which is about DuPont.
I can't think of his first name, but DuPont was the guy who,
he saw that the Soviets were basically paying their Olympic wrestling team a salary.
The Soviets were making it their business to be sure that their wrestling team
beat our wrestling team.
This DuPont guy was super wealthy, like a billionaire.
And he made it his business to take
care of the US wrestling team and
make them competitive again.
But that's not what the movie's all about.
He's also a scary
guy in real life.
I haven't seen it yet, but I heard him give his
interview on the Stern Show and it
sounded pretty interesting. So I want to see that.
I think I read the American Sniper book.
Oh.
About Chris Kyle?
I might have it mixed up.
I'm looking at the books now.
It might be Shooter that I read.
I'm not sure.
When I see the movie, I'll let you know if I've read it.
Well, Chris Kyle was the guy who had the most
confirmed sniper kills in
US history. Shooter
was a fictional
tale about Bob Lee Swagger
played by Mark
Wahlberg where they frame
him for trying to kill the president. Danny
Glover does. Well, it definitely wasn't Shooter then.
I'm just going by the cover. It was a couple years ago.
And then what was that movie that just came out not too long ago that was uh
uh last um last what was it it was the fucking movie that um
fuck it i don't remember shucks i wish i knew which day it was yeah lone survivor that's the
one lone survivor i think i read it around 2009 2010 a lot of these books I'm looking
at are more recent than that
I think
we should start doing the PKA movie thing
again we haven't done that in a few weeks
we should think of one
alright
I would be up for watching
one of those movies I just mentioned
let's watch American Sniper or the Foxcatcher I'm sure we could find a way I just mentioned. Let's watch American Sniper or The Foxcatcher.
I'm sure we could find a way to see those movies.
Let's do American Sniper.
That's out in theaters.
I'll pay for it if it's out.
It's not on anywhere else, is it?
I don't know.
We might be able to find it online somewhere.
All right.
Yeah, let's do that one.
I want to see that a lot.
Yeah, I'd like to see that too.
I wonder if it's on... on oh it's in theaters right now
American Sniper yeah it comes out tomorrow or right now how is it oh it's coming out today it's all over Pirate Bay they had uh they had early releases in certain cities, and then I think it's everywhere tomorrow.
Maybe I'll go see it.
I can't go see it tomorrow.
Really, it seems like a movie you'd want to see in the theaters,
but I don't know.
I'm still one of those people that likes to go to the movies.
I do too, especially if it's the right movie.
Yeah, I mean, it has to be the right movie.
Some movies I'm like, yeah, I'll just find that one somewhere.
I love to go to the movies.
It's probably my favorite thing to do.
I almost always go to IMAX
or, yeah, I almost always go to
IMAX, and if I think it's
going to benefit from 3D, like Guardians of the Galaxy,
I'll usually watch
an IMAX 3D. Yeah, I saw that in theaters
too. I don't like how all the
IMAX now, or at least all the ones I've been to, it seems like they're allX 3D. Yeah, I saw that in theaters too. I don't like how all the IMAX now, or at least all the ones I've
been to, it seems like they're all in 3D.
They don't have any IMAX that's just regular
non-3D anymore. And that's
what I want. I don't like 3D that much.
It still doesn't work the kinks out.
It depends. It works with some stuff
and it doesn't work with others. The Hobbit, I'm sorry,
I feel like maybe didn't need
it. I feel like The Hobbit probably didn't need it.
But Interstellar was great.
It really benefited from it.
Gravity wouldn't have been the same film without it.
Yeah, I saw Gravity in 3D.
IMAX was really good.
It's amazing.
I usually find that it's blurrier.
I don't like that.
Really? 3D? Because of the glasses?
Because it has two images and they don't overlap perfectly.
Maybe it's my own double
vision or something that doesn't work.
I understand what you're saying.
It's not as crisp.
If you don't look directly at the screen
and tilt your head just right, you definitely get some
like, I don't know,
some haziness. Yeah, the images
don't overlap perfectly.
That's not good to me.
I get that if I don't tilt my head
just right, for sure.
I don't want to have to go to a movie that I'm paying for
and have to tilt my head like an
antenna to be able to watch the movie.
It's not that I have to tilt it.
It's just like if I stretch or something like this,
all of a sudden the screen doesn't look right.
But as long as I sit like a normal human,
it's not too bad.
I wish you could have like, I don't know, I'd like a normal human? That's not too bad. I wish you could have
a movie theater
experience where
and I know they do it where they serve food
and stuff.
But I still want
the IMAX thing and I don't know where I can do both.
Probably not many
places because I've been to those theaters
that you can order and get food or drinks
or whatever and it's always like
a shit-tier little screen
that they show it on. And there's like
forks clacking on dishes
and it sucks. Yeah, that's dumb. It should be plastic
cutlery. It should be hand
foods. That makes more sense. Hot dogs.
Hamburger.
Oh, what do you put on your hot dog? I was having this discussion
with someone the other day, and they put ketchup on their hot dog
and I explained to them that ketchup is not meant to go on hot dogs and it's,
it's silly.
And we looked it up online.
Sure enough,
like there's tons of people who agree with me.
What do you guys and lady like to put on your hot dog?
Mustard and relish.
And you know,
if stuff's available,
like,
you know,
onions and I might do that.
If it's a bratwurst, I definitely like the fried onions with it.
But mustard and relish is my core answer.
I don't eat hot dogs too much.
Just because when I was growing up, that was a lot of what I ate.
My parents were like, yeah, go cook something.
I'm like, hot dog, that's easy.
But yeah, I don't eat them too often, but if I do,
if I'm in the mood for
hot dog, ketchup and mustard.
Nothing else. I'm a really picky
and plain eater, though.
Okay.
If I do put ketchup on my hot dog,
it's usually the only thing
I put on there. It's like the emergency
topping of like, well, fuck. I don't have anything
else. But if I have
a bunch of shit there, I'll throw some jalapenos,
some hot sauce, some sauerkraut,
onions, all the
good shit, all the classics.
Yeah, I'm the same way. I like everything
on there. Like chili, cheese, mustard,
onions, relish, jalapenos,
everything, really.
I don't like relish.
I'll put mayonnaise on there. I don't care.
I'll put cream cheese on there too.
I know I found some pictures earlier
of me and fucking Only Use Me Blade
eating some ridiculous cream cheese hot dogs
in Seattle.
Of course you guys would eat cream cheese hot dogs.
I think that's a thing there.
It's cream cheese and something else.
They were delicious.
Was it really?
That sounds awful.
I didn't sound that bad because it's soft.
It was delicious.
I don't like those regional foods
that they try too hard to establish
where it's like,
oh, we put sour cream on our ham sandwiches here.
We're a little loopy in Arkansas.
You don't need that shit on a hot dog
in Seattle. That's
ruining the flavor of the meat, I would think.
When you're drunk, it's
delicious. Anything's delicious
when you're drunk. True.
Taco Bell is delicious when you're drunk, but
not anywhere else. I got Taco
Bell sober like two weeks
ago, and
it was embarrassing
to pull up and get the food
and be like I wish I could tell you I'm driving drunk right now
it'd be a lot less embarrassing
but it was like at 6pm
so there's still people out
but it's just awful
it's unforgivably bad unless you are fucked up
yeah literally
the only time that I eat Taco Bell
is like if I guarantee that I want to spend
the rest of my night feeling horrible.
I have a video to watch.
I could go for a three hour bathroom visit.
Are you guys ready for this?
Yeah.
It's still loading up for me.
Kid shows up to fight, but chooses not to
use violence. Okay.
Are you guys ready for this? The non-violent fight.
Alright. Wow, this is going to suck mm-hmm three two one play yeah mine's getting a little
jumpy yeah this is awfully oh there it Oh, it's because he zoomed in.
Oh, shucks. The video quality's so poor it's not everything I hoped it would be.
But I want to get your take on the non-fight.
Yeah, there seem to be a lot of
hoodlums about.
Some no-good nicks.
Some no-good Knicks.
So this guy in the pink shirt is the person who would like to fight.
And then black shirt is the other guy.
He's the other guy.
And all over Reddit, they're just, like, praising black shirt is this hero so look at black shirt he walks up to him and puts his hands behind his back holds
his chin up guys some pretty dope jeans though yeah they're sick in why do you have his knees locked
that's not a guy in the picture is just
the a pity me up like a home you're all
money right now I'll that was gonna happen
awkward so much is right Hit him with the ouch.
Oh, he turned his back to him.
You see that?
Oh my god, Jake. Jake, that's why I don't want him to do it.
I didn't even want you to do it.
She said.
I wonder why they're fighting, the girl the girl she's the cause of all
this not really I'm not a couple is a douche the hints come out the guy in the
red seems like a douche but the other dude like if you're getting beat on like
it's not honorable to just stand there and get a shake.
You gotta defend yourself.
This kid's shook, though.
He doesn't know what to think about it.
He hit him with the elbow and nothing happened.
As a matter of principle and plausible deniability,
in case I got my ass beat,
I'm not gonna fight.
Yes!
Oh.
He can hardly hear the words.
Even the guy in the background said,
Don't zoom in.
At least it's in... you can hardly hear the words even the guy in the background said don't zoom in
at least it's in what landscape view looks like yeah at least they're not
like straight up and down see that he said he read the convo he says that a
couple of times yeah he said whiny you think it's okay to hit on my girl?
Wait, the black shirt guy, that's his girlfriend?
No, it's pink shirt guy's girlfriend.
No, he didn't say hit on the girl.
We're talking now, so it's hard to hear.
I think he said he talked shit.
He's like, I didn't do it.
Bullshit, I read the convo this video should be called two children talk
quietly so you can see the guy in the pink shirt like he's leaning forward a
little bit like he's about to throw one but he can't decide when or if he should
you missed it because Taylor was talking but he said why not
because I'm five six so what I'm five eight I know box
then he walks away like he's a pianist
so it frustrated me i watched this on reddit right and everybody was wow, this guy's so clever. He showed up to fight, but chose not to use violence. And, you know, this
guy, like he's Gandhi
or something, right? Dude,
dissect the conversation.
The guy was like, you know, why are you
talking shit? I ain't talking shit.
Bullshit. I read the convo.
That little exchange happened at least twice.
And he's also like, you know, why
aren't you going to fight? Because I'm 5 what i'm five eight if mr five eight was five four five six would be more
than happy to fight the reason he doesn't want to fight is he is gonna lose badly pink shirt had it
all over red shorts and uh the reason pink shirt wants to fight is not that he's some sort of ridiculous bully.
It's that he's defending the girl off camera.
And somehow I thought that needed to be seen.
Yeah, they both came across as douchey.
Yeah.
When you're that age, though, it's hard.
That's true.
Everybody's kind of a dick. So caught up into it.
Yeah, no self-awareness.
Just kind of a dick. So caught up into it. Yeah, no self-awareness. Just kind of an asshole.
But, I mean, the pink shirt guy,
I wanted to see him deck the guy in the black shirt
because I wanted to see his whole holier-than-thou,
I'm not going to fight.
I'm above this.
I wanted to see that smirk wiped off his face.
He's like, oh, this is real.
He did see the elbow, right?
I did see the elbow, but that was kind of weak weak and that almost gave the guy more confidence to be like
all right i weathered one storm i could take a couple more if need be i don't know why he showed
up it was being a dick i don't know everybody was a shitty person in that whole video i feel like
the guy in the red shorts like for the situation he was in couldn't have done much better right because because here he is
he's talked shit to this girl online right several times he read the convo now he's in trouble now
girl gets pink shirt to kick his ass on her behalf and he turned around he's like i hope you know you
happy because you set this up and she's like no i did it right and uh so given the hole that he's
dug for himself there's a bigger stronger guy who wants to kick his ass.
I don't know that he could have handled it much better.
You can flat out run, but that's a rough spot to be in.
Then you just left running forever.
You can fight back, but Pink Shirt would have had a field day with that scenario.
But it looks like an organized fight.
I would agree more
if it was just like lunchroom,
Pink Shirt walks up, starts beating on him.
Then it can be like, alright, I'm not going to fight, dude. Holy shit.
Just wait until someone pulls him off of you.
But it looked like they were meeting in an alley.
People had cameras gathered around.
So this dude decided he was going to show up to a fight
and then do that nonsense.
So that makes it a little worse in my opinion.
If you're in his spot, do you see a better play?
He shouldn't have showed up to the fight in the alley.
That would have been the better play.
Hey, I'm going to not fight and I'm going to not fight by not showing up
and not by doing a ridiculous spectacle and catching an elbow.
So in your scenario scenario do you agree
to show up in the alley and then not or just say i'm not fighting you just say you're not fighting
it guaranteed got set up at school just say i make something up oh my dad will kill me like i can't
do this again or just anything get out of here one more murder i just got out of prison yeah i'm still
on probation i just got all my teardrop tattoos removed and I didn't want to go back to the tattoo parlor
this early for another
yeah there's no winning there
you're right but at the very least you can not show up
yeah I went to
show up if I was him but I guess
given the situation of
you know he talked smack and now
like the pressure of showing up was
probably because like everybody knew
because so many people showed up
so I think he probably had to
for his rep
I mean talk shit get hit
he was asking for it really
what if like
these things that he was saying to that girl
like if we saw the convos it was just like
the most horrible threats and just
mean stuff
I'm gonna rape your dog I'm gonna cut that skin off and deliver it back to you in a box and just mean stuff. I'm gonna rape your dog.
I'm gonna cut its skin off and deliver
it back to you in a box. And just like really
fucked up shit. And really pink shirt
is just like, you know, trying to save
her and that would be the Shyamalan
twist. That would be the Gone Girl twist.
Or like, what if, what if
he was like, your boyfriend has
shitty jeans. I don't like how he rips them up.
And then she just was like, oh, hell no.
And that's where the whole thing's going.
You never know.
You never know really what he said to get the whole altercation to happen.
You think it was about Pink's fashion choices?
I mean, look at his sneakers.
And his shirt.
Yeah.
There's a lot to go off on there.
Hand me down Aeropostale, man.
Pink sure didn't think it through either.
He has some very large, bright
white high tops on, and he's about to
get in a fight. There are puddles all about.
He should have
had a fresh pair of Nikes
strapped on tight.
That's what should have happened.
Should have had his beater pair of Nikes, so he's not
scuffing up his nice
shoes. No, show up to the
fight with fresh shoes, because that lets your opponent
know that your new
shoes are not going to get wrecked under any circumstance.
That's true.
Playing mind games.
Yeah. I've never been in a
real fight, but I get it now.
Yeah, it looks like a lot of
these people had torn jeans. When was this
filmed?
1999.
Like 2003?
That's when that was kind of big, right?
Yeah, 1999. That was like
them pants with the chains on them.
I remember people
like those. Everybody with their chain
wallet. Yep.
Can't steal from me.
Security.
Did you guys see the thing about free community college?
I did.
What do you think?
Pretty good that he's sneaking it in
while he's at the end of his
terms, I guess.
Everything I see is
praising it.
You can't seem to find anyone who thinks
it's a bad idea maybe because
it's politically difficult to come out and be against a giveaway like that i don't know yeah
i mean i kind of waited for like after i heard about it i was like okay so what why is the reason
or what's the reason behind that because there's going to be some kind of catch like taxes are
going to go up in some way or like something else is going to suffer because of that. But from what I see, it looks like a cool deal.
I mean, I wish it was around when I was graduating high school.
It's $60 billion.
It's what it costs the U.S. government.
Over the course of 10 years, $60 billion.
A little math says $6 billion a year.
$6 billion a year is very little for our thing.
It really is.
It's a tiny amount.
Do you ever dream that you get to be emperor of the world
and you get to start working on that budget
without all the bureaucratic bullshit and red tape
and you're just sniffing away at it
and just cutting the pork right out
and at the end you're left with just hundreds of billions of excess dollars?
Obviously, you don't get to choose what you spend, but it sucks paying taxes when you're left with just hundreds of billions of access dollars obviously you don't get to choose what you spend but like it it sucks paying taxes when you're like man i feel like 70 of this
is for stuff i don't agree with yeah yeah what would be the first thing the first huge thing
that you cut kyle oh man um i think the defenseman it could could definitely be cut down quite a bit,
and nobody would feel it, really.
I mean, there's some jobs and there's some bases that would have to close,
so that would be a negative,
but you can't just keep profiting off the economy
by borrowing money to China to keep bases open.
That's dumb. That isn't going to work.
So I'd cut the defense budget somewhat.
I don't know where else you'd go.
I think there's a lot of places that there's just waste,
that it's not so much that we need to stop doing this or stop doing that.
We just need to start doing it more efficiently.
I'd shift it.
I'm sorry I cut you off.
I was too excited.
Just like you, cutting defense would be my number one thing, right?
Cut defense because we spend more than the next five countries combined in some ridiculous defense budget, etc.
That needs to be cut.
But shifting it would be a cool thing instead.
If we took some of the money out of defense and put it into roads or into internet bandwidth or something like that, then that would be a much better thing.
You say it's wasted, and it is wasted,
but really, it's not defense spending in my head.
It's a jobs program, right?
They're taking taxpayer money, and they're hiring people to make shit
that they just, like, blow up, right?
You know, training, bombing shit, whatever.
Like, when they send a $100 million missile into the sand
because they're training in some Arizona whatever that's a jobs program right a lot of people spent time making those bombs blowing
up those bombs it's just like workfare right you're not welfare but workfare take that out
and put that workfare into something that has more long-term benefits for the country like
internet connections or roads that that to me would be probably the
biggest thing i did right out of the gate shift it from defense into something into infrastructure
and make the country better can we make a super train that goes all the way to england
under the ocean idea i'm just serious are you doing a big tunnel in this situation or
we it's not only under the ocean.
It's under the floor of the ocean.
So it's a tunnel.
Yeah, it's a tunnel.
From, I don't know, Washington, D.C. to fucking London.
Why is this better than ships and planes?
Because of how fast it can go.
Planes go pretty fast, no?
It's not going to go faster than a plane.
Maybe you could
if you had like
300 miles an hour
for sure on a train.
Okay, so half the speed of a plane.
Yeah, but without
all the loading and unloading.
But you get the extra benefit of it taking much, much, much,
much longer to get there.
I don't know.
I think it would be fun to travel under the crust of the earth beneath a few miles of ocean.
Kyle, I'm voting against you as emperor.
I'm just saying.
Damn it.
I would make that happen.
That would be my first thing.
That's a good idea in your head.
But the second you got on a train, you'd be like, what the fuck year is it?
Why did I do this?
I'm the worst world emperor.
I'd be the worst world emperor.
I'd do a train, but there'd be like this big spaghetti
junction in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.
It would get
all confused and wiggly and
ruin it.
What if it was a rocket train that would go like
a thousand miles an hour?
Why do you want the train so bad?
Why is that the go-to?
I just feel like a tunnel across the Atlantic Ocean
would be cool.
So you're going to pull all the money out of education,
military,
welfare, and you put
98% of the world's resources
into a one-track train
from the U.S.
I mean, they would build half the train. the U.S. to England. I'm sure that the British would chip in.
I mean, they would build half the train, the tunnel.
Well, they don't have to willingly chip in. You're the
emperor of the world. You can seize
the world's assets. Oh, if I'm the emperor of the world,
we could really make some things happen then.
Lots of trains, huh? A train to the moon.
So many trains.
Space train!
Yes! That would be awesome.
There's a lot of programs.
We were talking about this the other day.
We were talking about who we wanted to be the next president.
The potential candidates we're aware of now.
And the conclusion that we came to
was like,
it's that South Park argument, a douche and a turd.
I don't want either one of them, really.
Because there's
a few things that I care about
and there's no one candidate for all of them.
I care about gun rights a lot.
I care about...
But I also care about gay rights a lot.
And it's hard to find a party that's on board with...
Yeah.
No joke.
No, I swear.
I feel like the parallels between gay rights and um what race rights but
i don't even know i'm afraid i'm going to say something horrible or are all over there you
know whether it be like the right to marry or the you know just be treated equally to get spousal
benefits all that stuff it like it it to me gay rights are this generation's racism. I also care about NASA funding and marijuana legalization.
Or legalization, not delegalization.
So there's no one party for me.
I really don't give a shit at this point.
I'm not going to be able to change it, so I'm just kind of sitting in the pastor's seat watching, as I always have been, I suppose.
I guess now I can
do it without even putting any concern into it.
You've never voted, have you?
No, why would I? What's the point?
There's
really not... I've never voted either.
Are you too young?
No, you can vote when you're like...
18. You can vote when you're 18.
Kyle's not. Mark, I wasn't sure if you were
of age last election
yes i just didn't i didn't go yeah not interested midnight have you ever voted i have i voted uh
i voted for obama when i think i was like 18 at the time and i just thought it was like
really cool all this change stuff i was caught up in the change this is the first one or the
second one first one because it was changed you know from george bush and i was like this guy
and i was surprised when he won too i remember sitting there like with my girlfriend at the
time watching the tv when he won and we were just like holy shit we have a half black president
no black guy with a muslim name who's that it rhymes with osama you gotta be kidding me this
guy got voted right hussein's right in his name.
Little name is Usain.
The next election I was able to vote in, I didn't like either Obama or Romney,
so I voted for the Gary Johnson guy because he had most of the stuff that I aligned with.
I was like, this guy seems cool.
He has a lot of stuff that I like.
I'll just vote for him.
He's not going to win, obviously, but still exercise the right.
They need to get the presidential election to be handled by the same people
who handle American Idol voting.
That's how you do that.
Vote with your cell phone?
I don't want to go stand in line somewhere with a bunch of old people
and punch a hole in a – no.
Let me fucking
dial in and text you my
answer and let's get this thing wrapped up.
Yeah, text and voting would be the shit.
I would vote for elections
I didn't even care about if I could do that.
Text and my answer.
The thing that really bothers me, though, is
ultimately it's up to the electoral college.
And it's supposed to
be based off of which states win what,
but is it really always that way?
Yeah, they always vote the right way.
Yeah, I feel like your vote doesn't really count as much as it should
or as much as it did when the country first fired up.
That's why we need to be texting in.
If you're from Wyoming, it counts a ton.
If you're from a more populated state,
it counts a lot less.
Yeah, that makes sense.
I think
you should be able to text in, place your vote,
and we should know who the next president is within
an hour.
There should be no,
all this bullshit should go away.
You're just not going to get young people out to vote.
You're not going to get... I wonder what the
percentage of the population vote.
I wonder what that percentage is.
I bet it's about half.
Probably less than half.
40% or something.
I bet it's lower than 50%.
Yeah, yeah.
It is, I think.
And that's silly.
They should give you a tax break for voting as well.
There should be incentives to voting.
Yeah, I agree with that.
Especially locally, for your own state and county,
you should get a little bit of a break just for doing it.
But I guess, I don't know.
I have some numbers.
Maybe some door prizes at least.
Yeah, like can we get a giveaway?
If I'm going to show up in Santa Monica
with a bunch of 60 year olds.
A bunch of confetti pops out of the machine
when you're done voting.
You're the 10,000th person to vote for Obama.
You won a plasma screen TV.
I want a chance at a brand new Corvette when I go.
This is presidential elections.
From 92 to 2012,
it hovered between 49% and 54.9%.
And it looks like the last couple have been 55.7,
57.1, 54.9.
So a little more than half tend to vote.
That sounds about right.
Yeah.
And if you go back a ways, I don't know how accurate this is,
but in the 1800s and such, it was like 70% and 80%.
Well, people didn't have anything to do.
They didn't even get to vote.
Before I die of typhoid this afternoon.
So you're saying 80% of them voted
because there was a lack of internet porn.
I'm saying that 80% of them voted
because the other 20% couldn't fucking read.
There was nothing to do.
Everybody was on board.
Hey, what period in time,
if you were to go from now to reverse,
now backwards,
what period of time do you think you'd like
to live in?
The 70s, man.
Five minutes ago.
That's the best time ever.
Can I come back or do I have to stay?
You have to stay.
Oh yeah, shoot.
You didn't include that. I thought it was like
Back to the Future and I would ride the DeLorean
back to now eventually.
You just got to visit. No, no.
You're sticking.
Do I have to pick or can I stay?
I suppose you could stay.
Kyle managed to go back five minutes, which is effectively staying with a body double.
I would choose to be born again.
You would choose to be born again.
So you want to exist in the future.
You just want to redo the whole thing?
I'd love that. Just call it a mulligan. Doesn't that make you suicidal? born again, so you want to exist in the future. You just want to redo the whole thing? You want to push that button?
Just call it a mulligan.
I want to be born in 2008.
I would be
strapping seven-year-old.
I would want to be born
in like 2100,
something like that. Let's really
accelerate. No, you can't do that.
Let's see how small that iPhone can get.
You're rolling the dice, baby. You're rolling the dice.
Who knows, right?
We could be fighting with sticks and stones
at that point. I guarantee it.
By the year 2100, there's no more
fucking Iris left.
By then, we'll be done.
Yeah.
We'll have found the final solution.
I would prefer the future.
The great sheep famine of 2050 took them out.
Absolutely, yeah.
Maybe like the 60s.
That's such a cliche answer.
Yeah.
The 60s or maybe even...
As a guy, you can't pick anything from like 1900 to 1940
because there's a good chance you're going to get drafted and die.
You forgot Vietnam.
There was a drafted and die issue there in the 60s.
That's true.
I'm going to go ahead.
It's really not a good idea to go back before the 90s.
If I had to redo my life,
I would want to redo my life for it.
I feel like I was born in 89,
so I grew up in the 90s.
I got to see that whole thing before the internet. I still know what it's like
to memorize the phone numbers, and you actually
have to go to meet up to talk to people,
you know, and hang out
and do stuff, but at the same time,
the internet happened, computers came out,
video games got huge, and
the internet's a thing, so
yeah, I like when I grew up.
I got lucky.
Yeah, so it was a transitional period the 90s were a real
transitional period in human history yeah yeah technology just like so i was an adult in the 90s
i was like 25 or something and um it was kind of like people were talking about how the internet
was such a big deal and how it was akin to like the printing press did i say that right printing press yes and uh at the time i was like i don't know the printing press
really changed things we went from handwritten documents to everyone being able to get any
information they wanted the creation of newspapers and easy repeatable stuff that was a really big
deal in hindsight the internet might be bigger than the printing press.
It's really big.
For sure.
It changes everything about
the way you work, the way you live, the way
you play,
the way you learn.
The internet is huge.
It impacts everything.
I don't think
anything has ever changed
humanity as much as the internet.
Combustion engine's a pretty big deal.
Yeah, but I mean, just as far...
That's right, as far as industry and whatnot,
but internet helped the industry.
Also, just interpersonal talking,
having a means by which to discuss things
with other people.
I mean, usually it just degenerates into people yelling at each other and cursing,
but still, it's useful to have.
Cat pictures.
Yeah.
But the combustion engine, it shrunk the world, right?
Like, it's the airplane, it's the train, it's the ship.
It's, like, yeah, that's a pretty big one.
And I suppose if you're going to start...
What were you thinking of the area you'd go back to?
Were you thinking, like like way in the past we already live since like 1800 though right at least 1651 um
shucks again just like everybody else i feel like the earth has just gotten better the whole time
you know i if i were a cowboy like there's aspects of that i'd really
like like i imagine myself being like a woodworker and some sort of craftsman and having a nice
home that i did a lot of work on myself and you know making wagon wheels for a living or something
and just carving out a little piece of the earth that's mine having said that like just the hygiene
portion alone seems like it's suck no air conditioning am i in a constant state of sweaty in this world like i don't think i'd
like that you know like real shower yeah does my wife stink because i don't want her to stink
you know she absolutely like powdered up and clean and stuff and and you know in the wild
wild west i don't think that was a scoop you know and like
medicine is so much better now like yeah imagine that everything goes right imagine you nail it
right you have fucking plumbing before everybody else does and and you've got a nice home and a
successful little business on the thing and you're in the west and everything is going cool and then typhoid kills her
or something and that's a realistic thing.
Or she has a baby.
I'm just going to play the Oregon Trail, man.
Doesn't survive. Yeah, dysentery will get her.
So, yeah,
it just seems like your odds
of having a nice, successful,
happy thing are as good now
as they've ever been. Maybe the 50s.
I don't know. There was a've ever been. Maybe the 50s. I don't know.
There was a little more income parity in the 50s.
CEOs were making 30 times what their employees were.
Now they're making 300 times or 1,000 times what their employees are.
I feel like in the 50s,
you could have made your way up to management.
You just go get your college degree. You put your
time in. Ten years later, you're the manager
of some place and you're making enough money
to buy a house.
Yeah, maybe not.
But if you had a degree...
It seemed
like then if you worked hard
then you could afford a house
and a car and a family. And that's not the same anymore same anymore yeah now you need two people to work hard to have that yeah you need luck a
little bit too like just how everything is where you're born if you're born poor it's harder to
get out of being poor and no that's an interesting thing because it it used to be like this is the
line they use it was better to be a c student in america than an a student in
dubai right in india is that still true right now like the world is flat it's so easy to ship jobs
around the planet and such you you might be better off being an a student in india
you know the money will find you it doesn't matter where you are you can get that job anyway
money will find you. It doesn't matter where you are.
You can get that job anyway.
Yeah.
It depends where you're going to be born. I think there's definitely
places where it's not
as true as
much anymore. Dubai's
in the United Arab Emirates. That might
actually be a nice place. Did I mess up Dubai?
What was I thinking? New Delhi.
New Delhi.
I don't know. I think I would definitely
rather be in Dubai.
Have you seen the pictures of that place?
Yeah. Dubai is incredibly rich.
It looks like fucking Star Wars,
man.
You talk about income disparity. Dubai is crazy.
The people that built that stuff you love
so much, they're broke
broke. Like modern day
slaves type broke, living in squalor well i mean
they should have stayed in school hey they they make build good buildings that's all i know
they do there's that like that that one building in in um in dubai that that incredibly tall tower
i don't know what it's called it's like the burj khalifa or something i don't know it's one of the
it like it's like higher and then higher and then it's incredibly high like it's called. It's beautiful. Like the Burj Khalifa or something? I don't know.
It's like higher and then higher and then...
It's incredibly high. It's so much taller than
everything else around it. It may be the tallest building in the world.
I think it is. It's almost
awkward how much taller it is than everything
around it. You have to think the city
planners like, god damn it. We need at least
two buildings kind of tall like that
because this looks ridiculous.
The Burj Khalifa. It's interesting. Dude, that thing's 828 meters. Second place? at least two buildings kind of tall like that because this looks ridiculous. The rest of the city looks teeny.
Burj Khalifa.
And it's interesting.
Dude, that thing's 828 meters.
Second place, 632.
It has almost 200 meters. So it's not even in the ballpark.
Yeah, yeah.
In the One World Trade Center.
Yikes, that building is no longer standing.
Oh, no, that's the new one, right?
Yeah, my mistake.
That's fourth at 541 remember um i'm i think
you've seen it closer than i have but when we drove to to boston that was as close as i've been
to it um and it was tall it was taller than everything else on the skyline yeah yeah it's
the new world trade center yeah yeah i actually went there in uh august uh and i went through the
whole museum and stuff and the building itself is like
it's literally
the biggest thing I've ever seen.
Biggest building.
The biggest one I've been in is the
Sears Tower, that thing in Washington.
You have the picture back there
of when me, you, and Joe were on that.
Do you want to see it?
Sure, because I saw a few months back that that thing
we're standing on in that picture broke.
It shattered. Oh, no.
Yeah.
You basically stand on
a clear floor. It's like thick glass.
Yeah, over the edge of the
building so that you can look straight down
and see the pavement below.
I'm going to make you
main screen. and so like that
that place where our feet are like where we're standing that shattered how did that happen was
somebody really heavy or so much glare was someone heavy or like maybe something sharp like i imagine
it'd be more likely to be a lady's high heel than a really heavy guy i saw it on reddit i don't know
why it would shatter that stuff is so tough it doesn't really make sense like the idea that a
gunshot would make it shatter would surprise me so i i can only imagine that it had something to
do with the construction do you still rock the irresponsible gun owner shirt every so often
no i've still got it.
It's been retired.
It sits next to the Tacitus shirt from the
commercial. I've still got that thing.
There's a few shirts that have been retired.
When does
Joe fight next?
Soon, isn't it?
Very soon.
I don't know if it's
this month or next month it
really each I think it's like in a week at what he will now
it can you hear me yeah January 31st
yeah two weeks from yeah
now yeah to me and
this is defining from this day I don't mean
it's a tough need does it matter this header. From this header. Alec Winta or something?
It's a tough name.
Does it matter? He's got this
under control. Actually, I love the UFC.
I'm an avid watcher
of the UFC's.
I like watching it when it's on in a
Buffalo Wild Wings, but I don't really
order it. You're going to go out of your way?
No.
I have no idea.
I'm just this harmless little 25-year-old cat lady
but something about watching two grown men
beat the living shit out of each other.
I just love it.
I don't know why.
I love harmless 25-year-old cat lady
as your personal description.
I've never been in a fight.
I don't want to be in a fight
but I like everything technical about it it do you like the girls fighting
hell yeah ronnie ronda rousey that's my girl
best friend she doesn't know it yet but i i um
of course it's a one-way thing but i emotionally bond with these fighters like
it one of them loses and it's so
heartbreaking like it it's it's so, in my opinion, losing an individual sport like wrestling or MMA or what have you
is so much tougher to deal with than losing a group sport.
You know, you can still have a good game as a running back and lose.
Not necessarily your fault.
Even if you're the guy that missed the field goal at the end of the game,
your team is the unit that put you in that position.
You know, it shouldn't have come down to that.
You guys should have blown him out.
But, you know, in MMA, like, dude, it's just you and that guy.
And when you watch him, like, walk to the octagon, you know, I sit there and think,
man, one of them is going to lose.
And that person is going to be crushed.
And not only is there, like, that vulnerability of having just lost and lost in a
really public way but like his hopes and dreams and career have just been derailed right now
it's tough to come back from a loss you know like if your ambitions are to shoot high
you need like two years to recover from what just happened in a space where you've got maybe an
eight-year career if you're awesome it i the stakes are so
high all the time i feel like i spend more time thinking about the loser than the winner
yeah how many fights is it like does the typical fighter have in their career or i guess how many
years how many fights how is that gauged it's funny you know typical is a tough thing right
like if i were to ask you how long does a typical like hockey or football player play,
you'd be like, oh, like three years, something like that.
Those are the players you don't really learn their names.
So a lot of them get like three fights and they're gone.
If you're talking about a typical like, you know, champion or like someone who's always contending.
Right.
You know, someone who spends a lot of time in the top 10.
He'll probably get 15 fights or something.
Don't you think it also depends on what kind of fighter they are?
If you're a heavyweight who likes to stand up and throw bombs,
then you might have a short career and it may end up with brain damage.
But if you're a smaller and one of the
one of the lighter weight classes and you're a submission specialist then maybe most of your
fights don't make it out of the first round maybe you choke a lot of people maybe you don't get hit
in the head a whole lot maybe your career can last a lot longer the really small weight classes
are new so it's hard for me to say but the the line of thinking that you often hear is the big
guys don't last long because the damage is so rough. The little guys don't last long because the emphasis on speed is
so extreme, but the longer careers exist in like that 150, 175, 170 range. Yeah. And with all
sports, you know, there's position players like in hockey, I bet, you know, the kind of guy who's
like an enforcer, his body's probably ruined after a handful of years but a guy like
um i don't know anything about hockey who's the guy that everyone considers like the gretzky
wayne gretzky yeah gretzky always had some big hulk who was like riding around being his body
guard right like that guy got to be the little artistic guys being super fast and and art and
it was never his job before it's right like when you throw a check not only are you more likely to receive one but like that doesn't damage to you too you know yeah it'll it'll wear you out i'd like to did
gretzky have a lot of injuries throughout his career i wouldn't imagine so yeah not i think
not really yeah and and a sport like baseball you know you've got you've got some players like
you know a catcher his days are numbered his knees are going to just wear out like you're
just your knees just aren't going to last that long.
But if you're a right fielder and you're Hispanic,
or if you're a relief pitcher and you're white,
then you can last into your 40s in baseball.
Is that race thing a trend that's pretty obvious to see?
Most of baseball.
Were you thinking of particular players?
I was thinking of particular players.
Baseball players are just durable.
They seem to be, and there's tons of them.
But it seems like there have been a lot of those guys
who were in their late 30s or 40, 41,
who were relief pitchers or closers.
Somebody like John Smoltz
can come out and he can still give you
30 pitches of his best shit
even though he's 40 years old.
Guys like that are my favorite part of baseball.
The guys who come out at the end and they have to
get three outs to win a...
Is he still playing?
No, he's done.
He played when I was young. How could he still be going?
He's playing golf with Tiger Woods and enjoying was young. How could he still be going?
He's playing golf with Tiger Woods and enjoying his retirement.
I think he does some broadcasting still.
I wonder how
Barkley's doing financially.
Charles Barkley?
Yeah.
I bet he's fine.
He gets endorsements.
He hosts that...
He hosts that... He's on ESPN, right?
There was a time where he needed to work for more money.
He needed to keep his career going.
He's in Dwayne Wade's Fave 5.
He's got to be getting paid.
I don't see commercials.
Sprint had this thing called the Fave 5
where you have five people on your contact list
and they had this commercial
where Dwayne Wade
and Charles Barkley
always wants to be in Dwayne
Dwayne Wade wanted to be in Charles' fave five
and vice versa
those were the commercials
did you see the one where they were saying
the key to being a champion was to have a bad memory
did you see that
I did not see that yeah charles barkley is like i won lots of titles
pippin was like i was the best guy on my team
that's pretty good yeah it's good my favorite commercials uh that are sports related to come
out of espn though but like when they do those commercials with the mascots and stuff,
I remember there was one where it was like David Ortiz,
who played for the Boston Red Sox,
was in a room with Derek Jeter from the Yankees
and, I don't know, another Yankee or two.
And they were having some discussion
about how to correctly wear a baseball cap,
and Ortiz grabs the Yankee cap. He's like, no, no, you do it like this.
He really fits the Yankee cap on well.
And then the Boston Red Sox mascot happens to be walking down the halls of ESPN.
He looks and he sees Ortiz wearing the hat and he's just, his world is shattered.
He just walks away and Ortiz's like no no or they have the ones with
like the nascar driver who's got a pickaxe taking out the speed bump and the nasc and the espn
parking lot so he can drive his stock car through i wonder how much the players share in the
rivalries right like like some from south jersey we've watched the philly teams and uh you know
the eagles giants and the eagles dallas were
like a really big rivalry if you're an eagles player do you actually care more about the
giants are they just another team another bunch of guys like i think that those rivalries um
end up creating uh personal feuds with the with the modern day teams, and they sort of self-perpetuate in that way.
So it may go back to the Yankees-Red Sox thing.
It may go back to, who knows how far back it goes,
but when, what's his name?
Babe Ruth.
One of the coaches for the Yankees
came after one of the Red Sox pitchers one year,
and he grabbed the coach and threw him,
and the coach was like 75, 80.
I can't remember the names.
When stuff like that happens, yeah, that's got to –
Pitcher was that big, strong guy.
He might have been Latin or something.
He was Latin, yeah, yeah.
Pedro Martinez, was that who it was?
Pedro Martinez, and the coach was – he was an old Chubby White man.
Buzz or something? I don't know. One of an old Chubby White man. Buzz or something?
I don't know. One of those old 50s dad
names. But he really
he threw him. He grabbed his head and
threw him to the side. When stuff like that happens
and then they've had so many
tight series. I think a lot of those players really
do dislike a lot of those other
players. But I don't know if they
care about. Don Zimmer.
He's so old.
He ran after
Pedro. What was he going to do when he got there?
I don't know what he was thinking.
There's Pedro.
Oh, I love that.
When you see these guys stack up,
you'll see what I'm talking about. Yeah, this is
a total mismatch.
Alright, I'm queuing up at zero.
I'm at zero.
All right, ready, set, play.
Game three of the 2003 ALCS.
A brawl breaks out between the Yankees and Red Sox.
Pedro Martinez throws then sends it to the Red Sox.
Oh, my God.
I'm embarrassed for the Yankees, the Red Sox, the fans.
The umpires, and my family.
He's full of tears.
I'm sorry.
He's sorry.
He's upset.
Wow, he was upset. I did not.
I've never seen that interview.
He just kind of was like, get away from me.
He was like, I'm sorry for my children
and that squirrel
in the stands.
I'm sorry for the people in Iraq
and I'm sorry for you.
He was so emotional about that.
Wow, he must be really embarrassed.
That's a shame.
He should have went after him, though.
This 80-year-old man charging the mound
when Pedro Martinez is... he's a pro athlete.
He's a big guy.
He's not a fighter, but you're definitely not going to overpower him.
Old man pass denied.
Definitely so.
Pedro's like, get out of here.
Old man pass denied.
He grabbed his head like that and just kind of threw him to the side.
That was pretty good.
I like baseball fights.
Baseball fights are super rare but when they happen they usually seem to be
real. Those guys usually seem
to actually want to hurt the other guy.
I need Mirka here for this. Hockey fights
are where it's at.
Hockey fights are more of like a
tradition or maybe a ritual.
It's even like a part like yeah you're supposed to
square up at a certain point well that's part i like about hockey fights is you actually get a
fight in there right with baseball fights too often like there's a mismatch or there's a charge
and then 33 people pull them apart from each other like it's rare that in baseball is there
actually a fight there's just five seconds of scuttle whereas in hockey it's rare that in baseball, is there actually a fight? There's just five seconds of scuttle.
Whereas in hockey, it's like, oh, they're fighting.
Well, by all means, I'll get out of the way.
Let me clear these gloves and sticks off the ground away from you so that you don't run into any obstacles during your fight.
They enable it and encourage, well, encourage, but they facilitate it.
In baseball, it's the opposite.
They go right in there and they break it up.
Yeah, that's true.
I wish they did that in more sports.
Just let them fight it out. Because that would stop a lot
of these people who are just doing it as a show anyway.
Like a lot of these guys who maybe
charge out there, don't really want to
fight and they know the score.
They'll pull us apart.
It'll be over. If everybody stood back
and they just had to stand there awkwardly like,
shit, they're not going to stop us.
Basketball, man.
I swear to basketball.
What the fuck?
There is a ton of false bravado,
standing up to people.
All you got to do is,
I'll shove you
and then dance backwards two, three steps
and in no time,
there'll be seven people between us. The refs are pulling us off the player teammates are pulling each other
away etc it's a big no problem these guys who makes 8 10 15 million dollars a year just ruin
his fucking arm just blasted in some guy on the side of the head i i wish that was a part of
professional sports that sounds great i completely endorse your idea that and wild animals and pitfalls there's a lot of sports that could benefit from all three of those things
exactly i have no idea why no ufc fighter has fought a cougar yet well it would you ever you
remember that scene in uh gladiator when they when he's he's facing off against like the retired
champion that the emperor has like brought out of retirement to kill him,
the guy who's got the silver face mask with the teardrop on it,
super hardcore, he's fighting that guy,
and they release the tigers out of the ground.
I would like to see something like that in the UFC.
Maybe in the middle of the fight, a tiger comes from the center,
a monkey, a baboon, that'd be really cool.
Like if an orangutan or something joined the fray and you don't
know who he's going to pick.
At this point, I feel like I'm just
in the middle of ignorance, but I'm still having a hard
time getting on board with the idea that chimps
are like 30 times, whatever
it is, 8 times stronger, 16 times
stronger than people. Look,
I've never seen a chimp bench press,
but I know he could whip my ass. That's good enough
for me.
Monkeys freak me out, man.
And their hands are so strong.
They'll rip your genitals off.
That's a thing they do in fights.
They're just terrifying animals. Yeah, I will admit they don't follow the rules.
But I just feel like...
Monkey rules.
I don't know why they'd be so much stronger than people they're not that
much different they might i can see why they might not hold back at all right if i was fighting a
monkey he might not get that we're just play fighting and just like give it his hundred
percent he could be terrified in a situation where he's supposed to be cool but yeah did you did we ever watch that mma fighter video yes on on pka maybe we did okay well then
i won't bring that up again that guy he beat up a chimp i'd love to get him on the show to tell
that story he said he'd come on and then he just sort of stopped like we were like scheduling times
and then he just became unresponsive like i don't know what happened. Maybe take another shot at him.
I'd love to get him on.
He's a good storyteller.
That's part of it.
I'm sure there have been other people.
People do cool shit all the time,
but not many people are good at expressing it and telling it to you
and weaving the story so that it's entertaining and it's fun.
He did that well.
As he's telling that story, I'm picturing the whole thing in my head.
Yeah.
And he gave you the appropriate background knowledge.
Like, you know, I threw it on the ground.
I was worried about hurting it.
Unbeknownst to me, you can't hurt a chimp.
You can't hurt this thing.
And, yeah, he just – he beat up a chimp, though.
Yeah, that was intense i would be very afraid because
you know you saw it that chimp did to that woman a few years back just ripped her face off like
that was terrible uh i don't think people should keep champs as pets that's that's not a pet like
turns out no yeah they're too powerful like i feel like you should be able to
dogs are so loyal that like predictable too like yeah dogs are just they're so loyal predictable too
yeah dogs are just
so loyal and predictable
that's what makes dogs dogs
but some of this other shit
that people like to keep
chimpanzees
big cats
people who keep mountain lions
tigers and bears and stuff like that
those aren't animals who have spent the last
fucking 50,000
years evolving alongside humans
or whatever dogs have.
Maybe it's a million years. Lions and tigers
and bears didn't do that with us. Dogs did.
There's a reason we keep dogs
around our kids and in our houses and shit.
They're team people.
They really are man's best friend.
When you start putting the...
A lot of states have zoo licenses.
So you have to have a zoo license
if you want something like a bear.
But when I say a lot, I mean...
Actually, it's not a lot.
The majority of states, from what I understand,
don't have those laws.
It's the minority that do have the zoo laws.
And like 40 of the states,
basically all you gotta do if you want a tiger
is go buy a fucking tiger.
And there are places,
there are these pamphlets,
these brochures to get handed out
that are like exotic wildlife trader pamphlets.
And basically if you go through these things,
there'll be a ton of exotic animals
and these people want to get rid of them.
They're like free to a good home
because these people can't afford to feed this tiger anymore or this lion and this bear or this
puma or whatever the fuck and so if you want a lynx you can just go get one and nobody's there
to like watch out the link you're not training some sort of super robotic links so this is an
african serval savannah i think yeah uh john jones he's's a UFC fighter. This is his cat.
He has one of these things.
It looks like a tiny
leopard.
How would you describe this thing?
It's somewhere between a cat
and a leopard. I've seen these before.
They are very big and they're not
like cats. From what I understand, you can walk
them on a leash like a dog and they respond to
commands much like a dog does.
They can jump. They can leap
enormous distances.
The flat footed,
it can get on a ten foot shelf. They're
incredible. They look like
superheroes. I've seen video of them jumping
and leaping and it looks like
special effects, like how Spider-Man looks
in the movies. It doesn't look real.
But it's like, yeah, that cat just jumped
to the ceiling incredibly
high. I want one. I've considered
getting one. I've considered a few
different exotic pets. The Savannah is on the
top of my list alongside a few others.
I also thought about
getting a raccoon because
apparently they're really, really smart and they've got
these little hands. And Rocket Raccoon, you know,
the movie and everything. I figured I could dress them up like Guardians of the Galaxy.
Name them Rocket. It'd be pretty cool.
Probably get laid.
Also,
what was the other one? Oh, the ferret
was kind of interesting, but
I don't know how smart those things can be.
There was something else, though.
If you're looking for an intelligent pet,
I mean, unless you're talking like a next level
ferret. I had a ferret as a kid.
They're dumb as shit and they
smell, but they're really cute.
They're super cute.
This cat that I talked about,
they're like $25,000.
Which is just
whoa money. Crazy money.
I wonder why.
Some exotic animals are pretty expensive,
but I just wonder why.
Where are they from?
Let's go get one.
Africa?
Yeah, it said African Serval Savannah.
Look at that picture of the cat on its hind legs next to a human.
That is crazy.
Yeah.
It sounds like we need to be in the Savannah breeding business.
Yeah, that's what I was going to say.
You said, why is it so expensive?
Just flat out guessing.
They're hard to breed.
If they have to actually catch them and bring them over,
25 grand sounds right.
This sounds like the perfect career for Wings of Redemption.
This is what I wish would happen.
I wish that Gangster Grandma would front him the money
to get a Savannah.
And then he steals another Savannah, of course.
Or no, no, even better.
What if he got one Savannah
and he bred it with like house cats and stuff?
He created these fucking,
the Conway Kitty Foundation.
He had these fucking mutant cats that he was selling.
Breed it one time, split the litter,
and now you have an inbred like Conway style
African Savannah farm
that you just grow and grow and grow until you got
like an adam and eve situation right where they all came from the saint baron's and presto 25
grand a pop you know they come in litters of six i made that up i have no idea and uh and the guys
pull in what is that 150 grand 150 yeah, 150 grand every three months. Boom.
Wings Redemption's next career.
There we go.
I texted Wings today.
He didn't reply back.
Hope he's okay.
He seemed to be okay.
I owed him a reply on Skype, and I shot him my reply,
and he said that he was all cool now.
He didn't need my help anymore.
What time was that?
It was yesterday. It was last night. Oh, I texted him today. and he said that he was all cool now. He didn't need my help anymore. What time was that?
It was yesterday. It was last night.
Oh, I texted him today. I didn't get anything.
I was going to see if he wanted to come on.
I still want to talk to him about what's going on with him lately and about Drew's book and everything.
See what's going on with him.
Yeah.
I really wanted to see him do well.
I'm a little worried about him.
He seems to oscillate between success and failure really extreme.
Either really, really, really doing well or awful.
Yeah.
Sometimes when it's really, really, really doing well,
I think it might be a show. And he said that too. He's really, really, really doing well, I, I, I think it might
be a show.
And he said that too.
He's like, you know, I'm not lying.
Like people will be like, dude, you're just crying for attention.
He's like, no, this is the real thing.
The fake thing with those walking videos where I pretended to be doing well, where I pretended.
And I, I think there was some truth to that.
I also think there's truth to, you know, he's not that low all the time. But
he just
like success can be habit forming
and, you know, it's self-encouraging
and, you know, winning breeds winning
and all that fun stuff. And he
just never seems to get on a roll
where he keeps doing well.
Where he's like, oh, I lost 10 pounds.
That wasn't so bad. I'll do it again.
Well, look, now I'm out of the 400 club.
And just keep going.
Yeah.
Well, I wish him the best.
I've been worried about him lately.
I hope he's doing better.
I haven't seen any videos from him either.
Wait, haven't you?
You've got to run with the trainer guy.
He seems to be helping him a little bit, at least with
the weight loss stuff.
Yeah. I saw a video
from a few days ago, I suppose, but
I miss those walking videos
when he was doing those every single day
and there was something from him every day.
I wish he could come up with something
like that. I don't care if he walks.
Just something. I wish it was
truth. That's what I want. The that's the video series from wings i want is the unfiltered how it went today
you know like i think i said this in the pkn or something but like today was a win you know today
i was hungry and i chugged some water went to bed for the night woke up and treated myself with
breakfast you know that's a win today was not a You know, I was hungry and I pulled out a bag of Tostitos and
the whole bag is gone. Right. I'm going to mark one off today in the losers column. And then
I'm not going to let a single loss turn me into a loser. Bam. You know, make that video every day,
success, failure, no lie. That would be captivating to me but um i also get why he
wouldn't want to share that because i think there's a lot of people who would fuss at him
in comments and um like midnight was saying if she loses a game in cod and all of a sudden she's
the worst player to have ever played ever picked up a controller in the live stream you know you
try eating a bag of tostitos when you're heavy. You'll be the worst person ever to have walked the earth.
And I can see why he kind of keeps his failures private and his successes public.
Yeah, it makes sense because people will just jump on you like, well, this wouldn't have happened if you did this.
And you just did this again.
What the heck, man?
Right.
But not in such nice words.
I don't suffer from this particular problem.
Therefore, I'm so much better than you. Why don't you just not do that? Like, it's like, it's so easy or something.
Right. You know, so, but still that would be the captivating thing for me. I would love to see
honest daily updates. You know, the walking series turned into a, you know, this is what I want you
to think about how things are going.
When in reality, he walked for 80 days in a row
and I don't know if he lost any weight
at all.
But every video was good news.
I just find his
whole little situation is set
up there to be fascinating.
I would love to
be a
Wings of Redemption TV show.
I really genuinely mean that.
And I would want Gangster Grandma and his mother
and whoever those two are dating at the time to be a big part of it.
And his sister would be a big part of it.
And her love life would be a part of it.
And his brother and his brother's struggles and Wings and his struggles.
Everybody in that house.
It's like a soap opera.
I feel like if you go to some of the people that are in my life,
a lot of them are kind of stable and kind of have...
Boring.
Yeah, kind of boring, really.
Nothing crazy is going on in their lives,
but you don't have to dig too deep to get an episode of the Wings of Redemption show
that involves cocaine or somebody...
Prescription drugs.
Yeah, drugs.
Crime, cocaine addiction,
hospital visits, injuries, life-threatening
problems.
Ridiculous decision-making.
Yeah, ridiculous
decision-making.
Really low lows.
I'm sure there's some highs there too.
I guarantee it would get your grandma
around.
Oh, Jesus.
We're all kind of high.
To look into that whole
thing, I don't know who would watch it.
I'm thinking about it as an actual TV
show. If you put this thing on, whatever
network Honey Boo Boo used to be on, TLC
probably.
The Learning channel.
Where else would she be?
I feel
like if Wings just had an
interesting job that he
did that was the focus of the show, then it's
a clear cut. What would the job
be? If he were
actually the King of Cocks, I think that
would do it.
If he literally spent his days
really
up to his eyes in cock.
It was all about
this is a bandy-legged rooster
I got in from Louisiana. We're going to cross
him with this red
tom here.
Their descendants, they'll be these
bandy-legged red Toms
and those are worth $600 a pop I got a buyer in Illinois he's coming down six
months to get them so we got to build all these coupes out here for these new
bandy legged red Toms so let's get started and it was like him and bastard
Brooke hitting thumbs with hammers while they get ready to like what if he was a
short-order cook right a short short order cook that had customer interaction.
And the customers would be frustrated every once in a while.
And he'd be like, you know, you sit back in your chair and you wait scrubby dubby or you won't get any food at all.
Or, you know, you go wait bushwookie or whatever he does with them.
And you see him sweating over the grill and occasionally snacking or occasionally not snacking.
Or, you you know just like
doing his thing and uh wings of redemption the short order cook customer interaction if if all
of them were running like a little family restaurant that that would be cool like anything
you know imagine like each of them in their in their prospective roles like like respective
roles his sister the hostess his sister the hostess or maybe a waitress his mom maybe she's
like running the cash register gang uh bastard brooke maybe he's washing dishes back there
gangster grandma she's like cooking the books in the back i mean of course he's cooking the books
right meanwhile wings is flipping burgers you know running the fryer milkshake machine the
whole thing sneaking himself some stuff every now and then like it would be
i'm telling you about like eating the profits or you know customer service or advertising or
or maybe they just get dude eventually like it's not even the restaurant that would make money
the t-shirts and hats would make them all duck dynasty rich. Yes. Who would buy a King of Cocks t-shirt? Everybody would
buy a King of Cocks t-shirt. They'd start making specific
rules for them across high schools in America that you can't wear a King of Cocks t-shirt.
Because there's so many of them in circulation. That would be huge.
I want a King of Cocks t-shirt. If that was a TV show, he would hit it
rich. Welcome to the King of Cocks TV show. If that was a TV show, he would hit it rich.
Welcome to the King of Cocks.
Last week, we saw Gangsta Grandma got in a little trouble with the law.
And then you got a clip of her
beating a sheriff's deputy
with a purse full of prescription drugs.
Trying to smash open the back door
from inside of a police cruiser.
I know my rights, you pig! Am I being detained? Am I being detained? police cruiser wings like they like throw the light on wings who. Who are you, sir? Come out of the shed. He goes to run for it.
He pays him.
I'm telling you, Wings has a real group
of people over there.
They're all characters. That's the thing.
They're all interesting people.
It's hard to find interesting people.
We've talked about TV shows a lot in the past.
One of the things, people come to me
wanting TV shows.
They always want to
do this thing where they're like,
who are the people who work with you and work for you?
And I'm like, here they are.
Here they are.
This guy works for me and this guy
and this guy does too.
Do these look like TV stars to you?
Do you think they can read a script? Do you think they're going to
be able to look at a storyboard and memorize it?
That guy can't even wear a fucking microphone. Like, come on.
This shit
doesn't work. But Wings, on
the other hand, he has a group of people who I
find to be very entertaining, all of them.
Gangster Grandma is interesting.
Bastard Brooke is interesting. His mother
is interesting to me. His sister and brother
are very interesting to me.
I feel like the story... There could be a show
that's just Wings, his sister, and his brother.
The three siblings would be enough if their
life together was the focus.
The gangster grandma, bastard Brooke, the mom.
She needs another surname, right?
She needs a nickname.
I don't remember her
first name. Actually, I think I do, but I won't
say it.
But yeah, the whole thing,
man. I've always the whole thing, man.
I've always found his life very interesting.
I was thinking earlier today about,
I was like, maybe I could get him down here and I could direct him a little bit.
And I started thinking about making videos for him
or of him.
But then the camera crew alone is going to run
like $400 or $500 a day or something like that.
And then I'm into spending my own money
to make my pet project
with Wings of Redemption.
It's really just
like I want to see it, so
I want to make it. I don't care if anybody else does.
You should require him to get a job
while he's living with you and use those
wages to help pay for the camera crew, but you
get to pick the job and you can make
him work as a genius in an Apple store.
Then you can film him doing that
too because he'll hate it.
It'll be very condescending.
How crazy would that be
if I brought him back and I
brought Chiz back too
and we did a competitive
boot camp?
Yeah, competitive fat camp
and the race.
We had another FPS boot camp,
and we had Chiz and Wings of Redemption going at each other,
and they had to work together to accomplish some of the challenges.
Oh!
That would be amazing.
Maybe they had to, like, turn a wheel to, like, you know,
to complete a challenge,
but it was too hard for any one of them to do,
and, you know, stuff like that where they got to, like, work together.
What's the video game we played together is sort of scary we play like
the third race that space three puzzles
right really have to work you could even
use video game puzzles and have them
work together that would be really fun i
i would like to i like wings redemption
videos i like wings redemption i wish
there were more of them.
And I would like to work on them, quite frankly.
I think it would be fun.
I would like to direct them.
I take it back.
I would like to direct Wings of Redemption videos.
I like his commentaries.
His gameplay commentaries have been great. Yeah, they're good.
And as much as I love Drew,
I question the sincerity of the dual comms he's been doing with him,
so they're not my cup of tea.
It's the big success story that is him working out.
I saw the top-rated comment was like,
so is Wings dating this guy now or what?
Yeah, they're great, and Drew's wonderful for Wings,
but the videos don't cover anything that's not good news.
And I know he's gaining weight.
There's bad news that they're not talking about.
And I just want truth.
Has he said what his current weight is recently at all?
I'd call it 440.
440?
How is he putting on weight this quickly?
He eats a lot.
I just don't, because you have to eat so much to get to that weight.
I don't even feel like it would be possible to eat that much to gain even more.
Or I guess if you drink a lot of soda, that could play a big part.
Because you don't really get full and you can drink a fuck ton of calories.
I wouldn't hazard that.
I know he admitted to gaining at least 10 pounds a while ago.
But I don't know where he's coming from.
um but i don't know where he's coming from or like i also i'm not very good at estimating weight by just by looking once you get outside of you know the weights i see all the time
yeah i didn't used to know what three and four hundred pound people looked like until you know
wings came to stay with me for a while and then afterwards i would be driving around and i'd be
like hey that guy that guy right there in that car. He's like 400. And that guy over there, he's 400 too.
There's a lot.
They aren't that rare, 400-pound people.
385 was the 1%.
Yeah, they're the 1%, but not in Georgia though.
Not at Waffle House.
You might see one every day, right?
It's not unreasonable to see 100 people,
which means every day you see a 400-pounder.
So 385, only 1% of people weigh more than that?
That's the stat?
According to my foggy memory.
We once did this Ask Reddit type thing,
what are you 1% at?
So I saved the question,
and Wink said that he was not in the top 1%,
so I Googled it, and I think that's what it was, 385.
Yeah, indeed.
It seems like that should even be,
just based on the number of bad people you see,
it seems like it should be higher than that, you know?
Like, there are just so many people out there that are that weight.
Like, you see people with body shapes like Wing's all the time.
Then again, he's pretty tall, I guess, so that helps.
How tall is he? About 6 feet. What? time. Then again, he's pretty tall, I guess, so that helps.
How tall is he?
About six feet.
What?
He didn't seem that tall.
I met him in person more than once. It's about right.
Yeah.
I don't know whether you or he are taller.
I know I'm taller than him, and I'm a little taller
than you. Yeah.
I don't remember which one of us is taller either.
It's pretty close.
Yeah, it's quite close.
I know that Woody is taller in a lot of the pictures
because of his tippy-toe strategy.
There's that one picture where we were at a machinima party or something,
and we were outside it,. I jumped so fucking high
for that picture.
I'm eight feet tall.
He's way up there.
I'm like 6'1 or something.
If I'm wearing my boots, I'm probably closer to 6'2.
That's taller than most people.
I get my picture taken with people a lot.
People often ask me to do that, especially if we're at a show or
something.
I know that they're going to go
on the internet unadulterated.
I like to be taller
than the person I'm getting my picture taken with.
On the internet, they can't tell that
I'm 6'1". This guy just happens
to be 6'4". I'll go ahead and fucking
get on my toes.
I was doing this helicopter
hog hunting thing one time and we took a big
group picture afterwards and one of the guys
there, his name's Dino and he's like 6'4
245 pounds
jacked ex-marine guy and
because I'm way up on my toes
I'm taller than him. So like his
friends are on there looking at this picture
on Facebook because it was on a pretty big Facebook page
and they're like, damn, Russia's
fucking huge. He makes you look like a
bitch, Dino.
And sure enough,
Dino's just this hulk of a guy
but to see it in the picture, I'm much bigger than him
because they can't really see me and I'm always
on my toes. Especially if it's like
Harley, Harley's 6'6". From Epic Mealtime. with him because you can't really see me. I'm always on my toes. Especially if it's like Harley.
Harley's 6'6".
From Epic Mealtime.
There's no way to get your picture taken with Harley
without looking like a bitch.
Yeah, he's gigantic.
I've got a picture of him
with Kitty's cousin.
Kitty's cousin is like 5'4",
I'm going to say.
Harley's got his elbow on on the guy's
head like on top of his head like standing there leaning on him mr sark is really big too
no yeah hutch is six four and mr sark is significantly taller and mr sark isn't um
he's not fat but he's not skinny he's not like uh you know like uh sometimes i got six four they look like me but stretched out i would say
sark is like six foot five two hundred and thirty five pounds or something like like he he looks
like he's strong too he's tall he's yeah he's not overweight he looks pretty fit he's he's a he's a
pretty big guy he's not one of those tall guys where his bicep and wrist are roughly the same
size like he's a man six five yeah he's he's a he's a power forward
or something so and and hutch is also up there like you said so it's always easy to or it was
i can remember spying them many times at like e3 and stuff like you can you just see them out of
the corner there they are yeah you see them way about everybody else and there's a camera right
behind them too so with lights and stuff yeah yeah yeah i was thinking about them recently so i don't know
i haven't actually watched mr sark's youtube career i hope it's going great but um you know
everyone on youtube or most people on youtube have kind of this bell curve career that happens
right like you said shay carl was rare he had like a double bump. But most people, they go up, and then they do well, and then they go down.
I feel like Hutch's peak didn't happen on his own channel.
And in hindsight, that turned out to be kind of a bummer for him.
Hutch's peak visibility.
He was, in my mind, the PewDiePie of the gaming community.
He was the guy. he was number one c9 is his number two and hutch was the bomb and you know as he continued to explode what he really did was grow that machine that respawn channel
and i hadn't thought about it in those terms until today like oh you know what the peak of Hutch's bell curve was working on somebody else's channel that's a bummer you see
his arm tattoo I did yeah yeah the Mario stuff is that what that was Mario stuff
she is just she's linked me to it somewhere I saw I just looked at glancing
on my phone it looked pretty significant It was like a full sleeve.
Yeah.
It did it all in one thing too. I was like,
heck no.
Tweeted it. Let me see if
I can find it.
Kyle, if you find it first, drop it in the
chat.
I am.
I'm trying. I'll have a picture of this soon. too far wait got it I got it
so I'll link it to you guys
and then
this is
Hutch's arm tattoo
I want to get a tattoo I just can't commit
yeah
same I've always wanted one but I can't
get like a thing that stands out as like i
want that on me forever i see the mario i didn't notice it before but yeah but down by the the wrist
there's kind of a um like a mario thing going on there and then i guess the top is just a pattern
that he's that appeals to him well i think these going to get filled in. I don't think it's done. Like, I think they're all the same block.
I agree.
I think they're just going to get...
They haven't filled in yet.
Do you know what they're going to be?
I think they're all just going to be, like, that thing at the bottom.
You see the little, like, question mark in the block?
Oh, I see.
They're all question marks.
Yeah.
They're just, like, turned differently. So you can marks yeah they're just like turned differently so
you can see that those are like the outlines of the layers and he's probably gonna have them
filled in soonish yeah yeah and it's like he's going black and white it's hard to tell actually
there's room for color in the question mark itself and the in the box but that's what it is
it's mario like power up or what would that be? That would release the mushroom,
right? The question mark?
Yeah.
Or some coins.
Or the fire flower.
You never know.
There are threes of options.
Yeah.
Kind of neat.
It...
I don't know. I like it for you know if that's what he wants and
like it i don't know there's a game thing it's not tied to a non-timeless thing like if he had
chosen captain price or something on his shoulder i'd feel like that would get silly at some point
but this won't this will be this is like pac-man or something it just goes
and goes i'm gonna get a big portrait of the assassin's creed pirate lady across my chest
i feel like that's a good life
you look badass with your shirt off for sure yeah definitely it um yeah and i don't know like it
i've had different thoughts you know like oh
this is a thing that's like seriously shaped me at one time I wanted the
YouTube logo you know they actually the word YouTube with the different colors
and stuff and now I'm kind of glad I didn't do that I you know I feel like
that would have not been the right choice
Hutch's is more timeless than YouTube. True. But.
I always thought of something like an animal,
like a tiger or a wolf,
but then I just feel like it's too played out.
I'd want it to be unique,
but I'm not unique enough to think of a unique tattoo,
so I'm just like, crap.
You could always get like a Marilyn Monroe quote.
Very unique.
Or a butterfly. Or maybe you could get a live, laugh, Very unique. Or a butterfly.
Or maybe you could get a live, laugh, love or your monogram.
Lots of unique ideas out there for you.
Some nice little word that's inspiring on my wrist.
It's all about the tramp stamp.
Feathers, yes, tramp stamp.
I mean, we could go full white girl tattoo.
Yeah.
I don't know.
One day, I'm sure.
Kyle, what tattoo would you get?
Oh, you told us already.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What was the quote?
It's Molon Labe.
It's Greek.
It means come and take them.
Come and take them.
See, that one's kind of cool, too.
I like it more than come and take them.
That's a good one.
I don't have any good ones.
No idea.
I like the idea of a quote, but it would have to look right
and have to be on something, and I don't know what that something is.
It would be on skin.
Yeah, no.
Just a matter of where.
Or you could do those lower lip tattoos.
Oh, I had a friend that did that I think
that's ridiculous
she got the F words
right inside her lip
and thought she was a super cool girl
she got it
she worked in the store next to me
I worked at the mall when I was a teenager
she worked at the store next to me
and she came into work one day, and she, like, shows
me her lip, and it says fuck, and I'm just like...
Yeah, that's
ridiculous. How was your day? How was your night?
I'm gonna get a fuck on my lip, because I'm
really edgy. If I'm not edgy enough to put it out there, I want to
be able to gauge the person and then show them that I'm really edgy.
Yeah, right, decide who gets to see it.
It wears off, though, and the ones on the inside
of the lip, they wear off eventually, so...
You have to feel like such a douche
sitting there with your lip opened up
while some dude writes fuck
on it.
You want me to draw
a cock in here or what?
If you get it on your palm or on the
bottom of your foot that wears off quickly too.
Like I know a girl who had a ring tattooed
and it only exists on the top of her
finger now.
So it looks pretty shitty. top of her finger now. Hmm.
Ah, so it looks pretty shitty.
Now, that would be cool.
What if you got, like, the one ring from Lord of the Rings tattooed around your finger?
Dude, if I were to get a tattoo, having my wedding ring tattooed on would be a neat concept.
Yeah, I think that's a pretty cool idea, because it's not as permanent as, like,
getting Jackie on your arm,
but... I think, like,
you could apply to any marriage.
Yeah. I think it would be cool if you
had, like, Jackie and the kids'
names or something. Like, I think if you're gonna
have a tattoo, it should be something that means something.
If you had, like, I don't
know, like, some sort of design,
a circle or a band of gold, and it was like Jackie, Hope, Colin, like, I don't know, some sort of design, a circle or a band of gold
and it was like Jackie Hope Collin,
I don't know, that'd be kind of cool.
You're one of those stick figure families
on your ass cheek.
Yeah!
Have you seen the zombie stick figure families?
Yeah.
I think that's cooler.
Car windows.
Oh, the ones I'm seeing are not cool.
I've seen them. I don't know what you're talking about.
I like the one where they goof.
I just saw this one.
Here, I'm going to share it.
Making my family wow that's great that's how you do it that's how that's done it's a it's a funny like you see a pregnant woman and you're like
i know exactly how that happened michael scott Michael Scott sex
it's not just sex though right
I feel like there's an extra step when you're
inseminating
like yeah
I know what you guys do
in private
so have we hit four hours I feel like we're right there on the I know what you guys do in private. Wow.
So have we hit four hours?
I feel like we're right there on the cusp. We have.
We started at 525 or so.
Oh.
So about four hours and eight minutes.
You guys want to call it?
It's about that time.
All right.
Very good.
Thank you so much
for coming on
what's your YouTube channel
just type into YouTube
Optic Midnight
and I'll be the first thing
that comes up
awesome
hey check her out guys
link in the description
thanks for having me on guys
anytime
absolutely
squarespace.com
slash bk