Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #217

Episode Date: February 12, 2015

This week on PKA, friend of the show, Joe Lauzon comes and the guys discuss his latest fight in the UFC and the ins and outs of being a fighter in the UFC, and the guys have a Trivia competition as well as a Spelling Bee!

Wondering if I am ready. And we're live. Welcome to Painkiller Ready episode 217. We have two sponsors tonight, Crunchyroll and Squarespace. So if you hang out with us, we'll cover that. And then we'll get into a confused looking Joe Lozon. Absolutely. Yes, we will.

Just go to Crunchyroll.com. Use, uh, go... I fucked it up. You kept making fun of uh you go i fucked it up you can't make it fun of me saying i'd fuck it up and i did go to crunchyroll.com forward slash pka and you can get a uh a free uh you can get crunchyroll oh my god no you gotta start okay what do you get tell us kyle let us know you can't i could grab a kid joe if you don't start strong, do you get to start over? I don't. I just get punched in the mouth.

So the UFC doesn't say you started off weak. Go ahead and restart. There's no timeouts. There's no restarts. So what Kyle is asking for is entirely unreasonable then. Completely unrealistic. If you go to crunchroll.com slash pka, you can get

30 days of the most wonderful anime streaming service on the entire internet. We have enjoyed this service ourselves. It takes only about two minutes to sign up and it's well worth it. It is. It's freaking awesome. 1080p. Yeah. Our other sponsor

tonight is Squarespace. Go to squarespace.com slash pk and you can get their services for free and 10% off of any of your future purchases over there. It's the one, it's a very simple service that helps you build your own website. Dude, so they did the Jeff

Bridges thing, right? And I read more about that. Like I caught it. So last week we did the Jeff Bridges thing and we had a good time with it but it's actually caught my attention am i getting his name right because fucking up yes jeff bridges okay um you're all looking at me like i'm crazy i'm like i don't even know what's happening but i learned more about it and it's actually kind of cool so the the concept behind the whole site was like you can take any weird idea and just run with it and see where it goes right because square crease is pretty cheap but oh gosh i'm gonna quiz poor kyle we don't know

how much it is a month but it's 10 off the first month i think it's free say it again i think it's eight bucks eight bucks a month right but the first month is free and then after that if you sign up through our thing you get a discount but what they did is they had this idea jeff bridges made this like you know go to sleep cd album and the concept was like any wacky idea might go places and it got huge they bought a Super Bowl ad I saw them on Jimmy Kimmel talking about it they even got Painkiller Already crew to talk about it it turned into this really big thing and it's like I'll tell you last week when I saw it I was kind of goofing on it and lame this week i kind of want it like i i listened to it and i'm like i want to hear hmm again like you know like i i i thought it was a neat d i'll to the one jepper just had a pretty neat idea with this goofy go to sleep album

two i thought squarespace had a really neat idea on their any idea can be a neat idea sort of thought process. Like you don't know what the next hit is. And I thought that was cool. Anyway, I interrupt to do now. We actually played some of that music for you the other night when you drifted off to sleep. Did you? Oh, God. Yeah.

We were having like a little movie night, myself, Chiz, and Woody, and we were watching, was it The Equalizer? Yeah, The Equalizer with Dinto Washington, I think, right? That's right. And Woody, we just start hearing snoring on the other end of the line because Woody has drifted off to sleep and he is snoring super fucking loud. I have a deviant septum. That's what I said. I was talking to Chiz. I was like, that doesn't sound healthy.

That's like a deviated septum. That's not good. I'm going to allow angry snores. Yeah. Speaking of deviated septums, we have Joe Lozano as our guest. Welcome, Joe. The UFC fighter.

How's it going? Good. So good. So good. So far, so good. How's it going? Good. So good. So good. So good. So far so good. That's good. Are we done ad reads

or should we? Yeah, we're done. Okay. We're done for now. I got a bunch of questions for Joe. A ton. I have answers.

I hope. Alright, so these are kind of sequential. I want to talk about the process of going into a fight and what it's like to be a UFC fighter.

So, first off, you train pretty much every day. Like I know you train like what, like 350 days a year or something like that? You just make it in? I don't know how many days, but I mean I'm in the gym six days a week. Oh, you take a full day off? Yeah, I take a full day off. All right. My mistake.

So that's already down to 310. But like I've been with Joe on vacation and stuff. And he'll just like find a gym in Chicago and get sweaty. Better train. Better train. How is training camp different than all those other days? Like how does training camp differ from real life? So real life, normal day-to-day stuff is always about just getting better at whatever.

So we're working on wrestling or jiu-jitsu. But's kind of like having fun it's nothing like very specific it's just like overall growth and getting better training camp is the opposite training camp is like very specific we break down a lot of tape to figure out like what we want to do in this particular fight um we um we have like a very set game plan regiment regimented training schedule of what we're going to do. If I'm going to work on wrestling this day and this day, we're going to work on these things. Then this day, we're going to work on this thing. Boxing, we're going to work on these specific and particular combinations and so on and so forth. You really don't get that much better during camp.

You get more finely tuned. You get sharper how often does the do the things you do in camp actually show up in fight like i know with jamie varner you worked on a particular sweep off of like a double leg takedown that you hit i think you won the fight with that sweep uh yep like a lot of you know it i i couldn't come up with like a percentage but a lot of stuff that happens happens during training camp is going to happen during the fight. I just fought this weekend and

I did tons of stuff, particularly in the first round that we worked on during camp. Things that were very specific to that fight. Can you talk about specifics or you don't want to go there? Yeah, so go back a little bit further. Go back to prep for the fight.

I fought a guy, Al Iacinta, a kid from New York. We broke down a lot of tape with him. Al is like, he's kind of got a New York boxing style. Fighters from boxes from Brooklyn have a very particular kind of style. They're very heavy on the front foot.

A lot of head moving down. Mooses had a lot. Very, very heavy on that front leg. Good head movement. Kind of almost doesn't mind when you hit him in the head because they're going to kind of lean into it a little bit. A lot of loopy punches, so it could be uppercuts, overhand rights, big hooks.

Not very straight with this punch, usually a little bit of a loop to it. For Al, we worked on basically negating his overhand right. Like he punches to the body, punches to the body, punches to the body, punches to the body, and then comes over the top with his right hand. And he kind of throws it a little bit weird, a little bit of a weird angle. So we worked on dealing with that. And we really figured if we could take away his right hand and not let it land,

then we would win the fight. There was nothing he could do to hurt us. And I did a really good job in the first round. I probably stopped 20 or 25 right hands. Did a great job. Was landing at will, doing a great, great job. And then in the second round, I think I won the first round. I haven't seen the decision, but I think I won the first round. I tried to look it up. So I thought you won the first round, but I't seen the decision, but I think I won the first round. I tried to look it up.

So I thought you won the first round, but I'm not the best judge because I'm your friend. But I went to all these online blogs to see what other people had to say, and you can't find anyone that didn't give you the first round. Yep. So I went and I found statistics on the fight, and it was something like I landed 20 or 21 significant strikes, and he landed the opposite, like 20 or 21 significant strikes and he landed the opposite like 20 or 21 but but my percentage was like 50 his percentage was like 20 so he was more active

and we both landed around the same shots but I landed much more accurately um and he had one takedown I didn't have any so it's kind of a give and take but I think I won the first round and then so I guess we'll get back to the fight, but now the last week before the fight, that's not normal training camp, right? That's when you sort of back off, you stop hurting yourself. How's the last week different than the rest of camp? So we do our last sparring session usually a week out from the fight.

So I was fighting on a Saturday, so the Saturday before was our last sparring session. And at that point, after we get through that last sparring session, I don't get hit at all until the fight. So nothing is really done live. Everything is all just very, very light and regimented and very, very easy cooperative stuff. I'm not fighting anyone. What's the thought process behind that? Are you trying to heal everything that got dented during camp?

Yeah, so a couple things. One, we were talking about greasing the groove. So it's just like going through the same set of motions over and over and over. And we're going through motions we want to happen on fight night. It's me not getting hit. So that's part of it. Then it's just kind of brushing

up and just getting a lot of reps in on and kind of visualizing what's going to happen during the fight. You don't want to be getting hit and you don't want to risk getting caught. You don't want to risk getting injured. There's a lot of things that can happen. Fights get canceled all the time.

That's one of the big things that kind of plagues UFC lately is the injury bugs and all the people getting hurt and fights not happening. A fight gets announced and then two weeks later someone gets hurt. So we definitely don't want that to happen fight week. So we definitely pull that way back. And just kind of going through the motion, just brushing up.

Jimmy Quillman is my grappling and wrestling coach. So I'll grapple with Jimmy, but I won't grapple with anyone else. I'll hit mitts and box with Mays, but I won't spar with anyone. I did a lot of drilling with Joe Pomfret, but it's all very, okay, I'm going to do this, and you're going to counter with this. It'll be very, very safe. Gotcha. Now the weight cut, right? And I'm sure you've talked about the weight cut a million times, but how do you cut the weight?

You'll go in, so you need to hit 155, 156 on weigh-in day. About three days before that, you're weighing 168-ish? Yep. So I'm usually like – so during camp, I'm constantly checking my weight every single day. So that's going to kind of dictate how much food I get to eat or what I have to do to kind of just keep my weight where I want. I like to be like around 170 pounds or so when we go out on fight week. So if I'm 170 pounds on fight week, I'm still eating everything. I'm not really dieting too

strictly. I don't eat crap but I don't have to be super strict about what I'm eating. Then a couple of things, maybe a day before weigh-in, so Thursday night we'll go to the sauna. I'll be like 168, 169 when we start. When do you cut salt? I cut salt maybe

a week, week and a half out, seven to ten days. And it's not like – it's very, very difficult to remove all salt from your diet. You just try to stay away from stuff as much as possible. So you stay away from like prepared foods, any kind of soup or anything that, you know, anything good like cheese or stuff like that. Anything good. Yeah, pretty much. And then so then like Thursday night we'll go to the sauna i'll be like 168 169 and we'll get down to 160 and then i'll go to bed i'll wake up at like 159

and then we'll go back to the sauna again in the morning for the last you know two three pounds whatever it is how rough is that morning you get like dry mouth and you can't drink anything or um yeah so the morning is usually not too bad. It's like usually the toughest part is like trying to go to bed like that night. Like so after we've cut, you know, eight or ten pounds, try to go to bed just because your mouth is so dry. You're hungry, but that's not a big deal. It's more like the liquid. Do you get a headache?

Some people do. I've gotten headaches a couple times, but usually not too bad. All right. So now the weight cut's done. What's the back room like? It's fight day. There's other people probably fighting before you do. You hear the guys.

What's it like in the back room? What are you doing back there? How are people feeling? So you're saying fight night or weigh-in day? Fight night. Fight night. So everyone's in different stages. So the main event was one stage

uh the main card people are one stage and then the prelims are one stage you mean stages in period of time or like location uh period of time okay so when we have to be somewhere like they're not gonna have so anderson silva and nick diaz were the main events this week they fought at uh it was must have been like nine o'clock Vegas time. It should have been like midnight East Coast. But in Vegas, that was like what, 10 o'clock? Yeah, like 9 o'clock Vegas time. So all the prelim guys had to show up at like 12.30, 1 o'clock, 1.30, somewhere in there.

So they're not going to have Anderson and Nick show up nine hours in advance. So all the prelim guys will get there. Then all the main car guys will get there. Then all the main card guys will get there. Then the main event guys will get there. It's all staged like that. Not everyone's getting there at the exact same time. I was on the main card. I got there at the same time as everyone else except for Nick and Anderson.

We got there. Basically, there's locker rooms. They check with everyone the week of the fight. We're already at the venue. We're at the hotel. Do you have your own room or are you in there with a handful of other fighters? It varies based on the venue, but most of the time you're in there with a handful of other fighters. This time I was in there with Misha Tate, Tyrone Woodley,

the guy that fought i was watson i think this guy uh tom watson i think um so there were like there were like four of us but there was like two guys that were on like the prelims and then two guys on the main card so it's kind of staggered a little bit so tyrone and i were one fight apart so we kind of had to share the mat together but for the most part we were pretty much empty because all the prelim fights had taken place and gone by the time we got there. How long did your hands wrap before the fight? Usually a couple hours. Usually a couple hours.

I probably finish maybe an hour and a half before I walk out. All right. So now it's go time, right? Yep. First of all, quick question. Who pumps you up more, Bert or Bruce? Bert, for sure. Bert.

I'm ready to go by that point. All right, I have a question for the time before you actually get in the cage. I'm wondering, like, when do you eat, what do you eat, what do you drink, and when do you drink it? On game day? Yeah, yeah, on game day. Like, when it's really, what do you drink and when do you drink it? On game day. Yeah, on game day. When it's really 30 minutes before the fight,

45 minutes, that last hour or two right before you're going to fight. What are you eating and drinking? I was telling Woody, Joe's getting ready to fight right now and he's like, I wonder what he's doing. I'm like, I know what I'd be doing. I'd be trying to get all my pee out because I wouldn't want to go out there and they're announcing my name and everything and I'm like, I know what I'd be doing. I'd be trying to get all my pee out because I wouldn't want to go out there and

they're announcing my name and everything and I'm like, I really got to piss. That's how it happens. You're constantly trying to pee. I must have peed like 15 times while I was there before the fight. But everyone's different. Everyone will pretty much tell you

you should eat whatever you would normally eat. So for fight day, I would eat should eat whatever you would normally eat. For fight day, I would eat all the stuff I would normally eat if I didn't have a fight coming up. I'm not going to eat crap, but I had a cheeseburger and then I had a bunch of fruit in the morning.

I had fruit first thing in the morning, like a banana and some watermelon and mango and stuff like that. Then I had a cheeseburger at 1 o'clock and then I fought at 6 o'clock. You try to enter the fight just slightly hungry. It's not about me, but when I competed,

slightly hungry was always my target. Yep. I agree. If you have a full belly, you just feel slow and lethargic. You just feel crappy. You want all the blood going to your muscles to perform, not going to your stomach because it's trying to digest food all right so now bert's calling you out there this is what we

do and this is why we do it we're the best in the world at what we do etc etc um you get in there and um what's going through your head as the ref goes through final instructions right so bruce has done his thing boost buffer this is you sitting there there. You're eyeballing your opponent, and the ref is like, I talked to you backstage. What are you thinking? I'm wondering if he's going to sucker punch me every single time. It doesn't matter who it is. It doesn't matter who it is. So what I always do, like if you go back and you watch, I always say when they're doing introductions, I'll put up my hand and be like, do you want to touch?

And I'll ask. And sometimes people will I'll ask. Sometimes people will shake off no, sometimes they'll say yeah. I've seen it happen enough times, it's never happened to me because I've always been really careful about it, but I've seen it happen enough times where guys go to touch hands and they bring their hand out shoulder height and then someone comes over the top. I make sure I always, my hand goes way up in the air so even if they try to punch me, my arm and shoulder is protecting my chin. I'm ready to go.

I'm always worried that someone's going to get a sucker punch. It's happened so many times where I've been cornering guys and I tell them, when you touch, make sure you protect yourself. If you're going to touch, make sure you protect yourself. There was one time one of my guys got sucker punched awful. I was super pissed.

It'll never ever happen to me. Are you allowed to do that? If you're coming out for the arms extended bump. As soon as the ref says go, so that whole bump is just like a formality of we respect each other, we're

fighting, you don't have to do that. That's a dick move to just punch someone. What kind of a cunt do you have to be? I felt really bad. Conor McGregor is getting tons of attention right now. He fought in the UFC in Boston a couple weeks ago. Big, big name. Everyone will know him really soon.

He's great. Irish guy. Great on the great. Irish guy, great on the mic, unbelievable interviews, great fighter, super exciting, really talented. He fought a Brazilian. I thought that Connor was fake glove touching and then coming over the top. He fought a German guy.

Seaver, yeah, but before that, a couple fights prior, he fought a Brazilian guy. I could have sworn that he sucker punched him. And I tweeted right away, I'm like, ah, what a scumbag. What a shithead or something like that. And then I go back and I watch it after that. People are like, no, the other guy just waved off the shake-off.

So it's just kind of the way he comes out. But that's one of the pet peeve things of me. It drives me crazy when people sucker punch. Is that like a douche thing? Is that known amongst fighters? Like if you wave off that bump you're kind of an asshole like that's super douchey really i was gonna ask that too so but it's not okay like if i say hey no i i don't like to do the hand touch i prefer to like bum rush okay that's okay that's okay too but but don't like it's fine if you ask if someone wants to touch gloves and they say no, that's fine.

You're not being a douche because you're saying no. But if you say yes and then they go to touch gloves and you try to suck them, that's really shitty. I've always wondered that. Is no okay? Can you say – I might prefer to like football tackle you as my opening move. Yeah. And it's fine if you don't want to touch gloves.

But don't say you're going to touch gloves and then not. It's fine if you don't want to touch gloves but don't say you're going to touch gloves and then not you know it's like it's legal you're allowed to do it but you're a piece of shit now i got a question hope i get are you scared like i know you're a pro and what do you have like 32 fights now something crazy like that a lot of fights i don't yeah i mean i'm not i'm not i'm never scared but the butterflies are always there like every time i fight i'm always like wow what the fuck why always there. Every time I fight them, I'm always like, wow, what the fuck, why do I do this? How could you not be scared going into a ring with another trained fighter?

That seems awful. This seems awful to me. Just having to go in there and know that the other guy is trained to beat the shit out of you and that he's been watching you, seeing how you move, knowing what to do to fuck you up. Well, it's worse now, jerk. Just like I never thought about all that. That's terrible.

I don't know what you saw. I'm going to be a net admin again. I always think about how it's like the worst possible career someone could ever have. When you really think about it, I mean, like, I spent three months, right around three months of my training camp, like, getting ready. Like, every bit of my energy is put towards beating up this guy

and taking him out of his element and breaking him down and all this stuff. And then I'm like, oh, I've got three months to prepare. I should be in good shape. Then you think about the fact that he's doing the exact same thing. Everything that I'm doing, he's doing too. He's lifting. He's running. He's doing rounds. He's dieting. He's studying tape. He's working with his coaches.

It's like one track mind. His entire coaches, all of his coaches together, one track mind. Is that true if you're fighting Gabe Rubiger or whatever his name is? I'm a little less worried about him because he's probably not doing anything that he should be doing. But I always assume, I always assume worst case scenario, I always assume that they're doing all the stuff we're doing, you know, but he's just as nervous as I am.

Like as nervous as I am, I know he's just as nervous. That's got to be the thing that keeps you going, knowing that just as much as you're anxious about what they may or may not be doing in the gym, they're just as anxious thinking, like, what the fuck is Joe doing? What's he training for? What's he learning? There's a really good story that my boxing coach, Steve Mays, always talks about.

It's like a custom model story. He's just passing it on. Basically, it's about this kid that's supposed to fight someone after school, and the kid is scared to death. He's a little scrawny kid. The kid's a passing it on. But basically it's about this kid that's supposed to fight someone after school and the kid is scared to death. He's a little scrawny kid. The other kid is a little bit bigger. And the little scrawny kid is just scared to death.

Doesn't want to show up. Doesn't want to go. He's scared to death he's going to meet this kid after school. He's going to get beat up. And he's up all night. Can't even sleep. He's up in the morning. He's just all nervous.

And all day he's just tortured going through school knowing he's going to have to meet this other kid after school. And then he goes to show up and he shows up and he's like, I'm going to get my ass kicked. He's like, I'm going to show up but I know I'm going to get my ass kicked. And the kid shows up and the other kid no showed. It's all about just how he was so convinced he was going to lose and he was going to get beat up and he was so nervous and he was letting the butterflies get to him so bad.

But the other kid was going through all the same stuff. He was going through all the same stuff. And the other kid kind of pussied out and didn't show up. It's just kind of interesting when you think about it that way. And that's how every fight is. That's how every single fight is. Yeah, and to an extent, it's almost more pressure if you're the favorite because it's like you don't

have anything to gain if you win the fight then of course you were supposed to win but if you lose you look like an asshole and sometimes winning is not enough because you can't just win you can't squeak by if you're supposed to win you're supposed to go out there and dominate and you know it's tough does the does the thought of being punched in the face like intimidate you right like because no not really those ears of course not no right you can't see i spent i spent three months getting ready you know i'm getting i'm guaranteeing in training camp i'm gonna get hit in the face a lot i'm gonna i'm gonna be sparring with the best guys in my gym uh be doing you know a lot of rounds every single day uh every

single week and you know it's i'm to get a lot for 15 minutes. I did the math one time and it was something. Let me try and do it real quick. I've had 18 fights spar 18 weeks. 18 fights

spar for 8 weeks 2 times a week, and we'll say 16 minutes because we do four fours for rounds. I have sparred 4,600 minutes in my 18 fights. If I did 4,600 divided by 15. I fought 300 fights getting ready for 18 of them. Like if you count rounds in the gym, you know what I mean? That is an awful job.

It's fucking terrible. It's like the worst thing and the best thing ever. I love doing it, but on fight day, it's the worst job ever. All right. So my last question in the series anyway. What's your thought process during the fight right like so you're actually in the ring is it in my head it's a chest thing

like alright you know he's kicking my left thigh so I need to either adjust my stance or be aware of that like what's running through your head during a fight um there's a lot of little things going on at once um so one of the things going on at once. So one of the things that someone told me years and years ago that kind of made sense

to me is like, you know when your computer starts, it goes through the whole boot process. It checks, okay, do I have RAM? Do I have a CPU? Do I have a hard drive? Do I have all this other stuff? You're kind of going through all that stuff while you're fighting. So it's, you know, is my hands up? How's my stance?, is my hands up? You know, how's my stance?

Where's my weight? You know, what is he trying to counter with? And what is he trying to punch me with? And what is he trying to attack? And what is he trying to do at this moment? Is he trying to knock me out? Is he trying to take me down? Is he trying to kick me in the legs? Is he trying to confuse me?

Like, what is he trying to do? And as you get better, you just run through that that that checklist faster and faster and faster you become more efficient at it so for me it's always you know making sure my for this fight it was make sure my left hand is up so i don't get hit with the right and um you know and then at that point it's like okay now he's gonna try to hit me i'm gonna block i'm gonna counter i'm gonna hit him back and just kind of go through have you re-watched the fight much? I watched it once. Probably in like a week or two, I'll go and I'll watch it a shit ton.

Did you catch where the mistake was made? Because you won the first round. I knew exactly what happened. Everything we worked on was out throws and overhand right. That's what we were really worried about. Rather than keep my hand right in front, I wanted it up a little bit high because

it's going to loop and be up high on my head. We really wanted to make sure we didn't get hit with that. I don't want to say it's cheating, but I kept my hands a little bit higher and a little more outside to deal with the looping punch. He came right down the middle with a right hand. It didn't hit me super hard, but it definitely

wobbled me. I knew when he hit me, I knew it wobbled me. When you watch it on tape, it doesn't seem like it's the biggest shot, but you can definitely tell my balance is bad. At that point, I just couldn't recover. He hit me with one decent shot, and that was all it took. He did a great job. He kept just

enough pressure to keep me on the decline where it kept getting worse and worse and worse but he wasn't reckless. He was just very calculated. He did a really good job. When you're in the moment getting punched like that, do you have an accurate perspective as to

how strong the punch was? If you get hit, is there just so much adrenaline that sometimes you feel like you can just keep going even when it clearly staggered you or do you hear how it's coming? It depends. I mean, it kind of depends on how hard you get hit. Al hit me a couple times where it kind of annoyed me a little bit in the first round,

but I wasn't hurt. But I hit him with a couple big shots that I thought I hurt him for sure. He had a good poker face or he has a really good chin or something, but it kind of depends. When you hit has a really good chin or something. But it kind of depends. When you hit with a really good shot, you don't really understand what's going on. It just gets really confusing. Hypothetically, if I was in your corner, which is a horrible idea.

Keep qualified people in your corner. I think I would have thrown the towel probably five, ten seconds before the ref stopped it. It's tough because I stopped a fight on one of my fighters a couple weeks ago. It was the first time I ever stopped a fight like that in between rounds. It's a really, really tough thing. Even in my fight, I definitely got rocked. I got wobbled. I don't think I was eating huge shots but I got hit with one or two shots

where I lost my balance a little bit. I did a pretty good job. If you go back and re-watch it all, I got hit with a couple good shots but not that many like maybe like three good shots um there was a the what I'm gonna call the decline which is maybe the last 25 seconds of the fight yeah like 12 seconds into it I was like I I don't see a path to victory from here yeah let's just you know what like towards the end though, like I got my balance for like half a second and I crushed him with a right hand. I hit him with a – if you go back and watch,

I hit him with an awesome right hand and like froze him in his tracks. And if it had hit him a little bit better, if it had stunned him a little bit better, I think I would have 100% recovered. You just Scott Smithed him. Yeah. You know, but I just – but it didn't. He just kept the pressure coming. Yeah. But he didn't. He kept the pressure coming. And at that point,

I couldn't get my feet under me. I was falling all over the place because I could not get my feet under me. I could not catch my balance. And I remembered everything that was going on. I knew I couldn't catch my balance. I knew that he was coming hard and I needed to get my feet under me. I couldn't. I wish I had... There was one point where we were on the ground and he

stood right back up. And I wish I had stayed down a few extra seconds. If I think I had there was one point where we were on the ground and he stood right back up and I wish I had stayed down a few extra seconds if I think I had stayed down a few seconds and waited for the ref to tell me to get up then I would have probably recovered but I didn't I popped right back up to my feet I should have taken a few extra seconds when the ref broke it up

I want to say you gave him like a tap like a type of thing and there was this I read it as an I'm glad you're here kind of moment. It wasn't like an I'm glad you're here, like he was saving me, but it was a good stoppage. Like it was a good stoppage. I knew that I couldn't get my feet under me. And, you know, like I was – I think I said to him like good stoppage.

I think that's exactly what I said. You know, but I was like obviously didn't want the fight to get stopped. But at the same time, I knew that I couldn couldn't i knew that i wasn't going to recover he said that uh there's not a clear path to victory there's not a way to win so at that point it's like there's no sense in you know taking a ton of abuse and getting hit in the head a ton yeah i thought it was a touch late but i might be soft-hearted in that regard a lot of people i heard it from a lot of people saying they thought it was a little bit late, but if you go back and

watch the whole flurry, I did kind of recover a little bit because I did throw a really good right hand, and it could have been, like you said, Scott Smith before, it could have been just like that. I could have hit him with that right hand. I could have knocked him out. Which would have been awesome. Yeah, it would have been great. That would have been in the UFC

replay at the start of every fight every fight forever alright so that's the end of my sort of you know leading up to the fight I got other MMA questions unless you guys want to sit here and talk about I definitely have one MMA question so Joe when you were

talking about how you show up how the main liners show up for the, you know, is there, like, a different level of respect between, like, if you meet the number one heavyweight or a really dominant heavyweight, is there, like, a different level of respect for that person amongst all the fighters than there is between a really dominant featherweight? Uh, not really. Not really. I think that everyone likes the everyone likes

the heavyweight guys, the light heavyweight guys, the bigger fighters for sure. I personally have tons of respect for all the different champs in the lower weight classes, but this probably is a little bit more prestige to the bigger guys. I don't think it's like, oh, you're heavyweight

and you're a flyweight. I don't give a shit. it's more just about the fact like overall pound for pound the heavyweight is generally going to beat the flyweight you know what i mean it's like well you could be the the most badass 135 pound fighter in the world but that motherfucker over there that heavyweight champ is the baddest guy in the freaking building so there's another part of it at least at this moment anyway a lot of the bigger fighters like like the 205 you got john jones at 185 you have chris weidman at 170 you have uh tommy lawler and before that hendrix they're all good english speakers and that makes them a little more interesting a little more exciting and that like you know a big part of the fan base can can

understand what they're saying and sort of follow up. When a guy only speaks Portuguese or when – that's really the only other example. But when a guy doesn't speak English, it's just less interesting to me. There's no connection there. There's really no connection. It's tough. Even like a guy like Anderson Silva, who he speaks a little bit of English, but his English isn't great. You're not going to have the same kind of connection as a guy with like say like Conor McGregor who is, you know, absolutely – is unbelievable on the mic.

Like every single time he's doing an interview or something, you want to watch. You want to hear what he's going to say. He's great on the mic, but it doesn't stop there, right? Like if you follow his Twitter account, he's driving out to some stadium saying, someday I'm going to fight here. He's – like his instagram is hot he's like he's yeah he's constantly like sort of promoting himself and connecting with people it's not just that he interviews well it's that you know he gets for him fighting's half the job and the other half is promoting he's awesome at it yeah and he has a gift for it dude peds who are you talking to joe you you sexting somebody

no no no before so peds performance enhancing drugs uh silva got busted for performance enhancing drugs i i all right joe can say he's clean and he is, but I'll go further, right? Like I have been in at Joe during a training camp. I've slept at his house for weeks. I've been with it. Not only does Joe not take performance enhancing drugs, he doesn't take Motrin for a headache. Do you drink coffee? I want to say that i don't drink coffee but i just don't like the taste of coffee and like all occasionally like if i have like a pounding headache then i'll take like ibuprofen or something occasionally here and there but it has to be pretty bad for me to take stuff like i had acl surgery and i think i took like pain meds like for like less than 24 hours after surgery and then i was i was off everything i just don't never drank ever yeah i think we need to focus on that for a moment. You've never had an alcoholic beverage. No.

That's crazy. When I was 18, I was at a strip club in New Jersey, and some girl got me to go in the back room, and I had a sip of some kind of blue drink, but it was zero alcohol in it. But that's the most I've ever had. And also, we had that cheese dip that time. Did that have alcohol in it?

Yeah, she poured a beer in it and ruined it. Yeah. No, dude, if it's fondue, the beer can make it good sometimes. That doesn't count. I've had like Jack Daniels steak tips, and I think technically there's alcohol in there, but that doesn't count. So the most alcohol you've had in your life is like a fucking

Applebee's entree with Jack Daniels in it. Pretty much. I'm pretty sure that fondue was the highest, was the most because he had some of that cheese. Oh, I was there for that. Yeah, yeah. We went to the melting pot or something.

Yeah, that was the first dinner. We had two dinners that night. First dinner, second dinner dinner get on my level hobbits um but so i wonder i've had a hard time phrasing this question without accusing the specific people you thought of taking pens but like i wonder how the ufc landscape would differ if there were no performance enhancing drugs at all right like you know there was a time i don't know if you were technically top five or whatever but like like you know leading into after you had beaten melvin right and you were going into pettis uh whoever won

that fight was getting a title shot um if there was an injury in the uh the edgar henderson fight one of you guys would have got a title shot right there. If there were no Peds in the UFC, I wonder how things would be different. Be easier for you? It's a very great area on what's considered a performance-enhancing drug. So obviously there's a list of stuff that's not approved that you cannot take. It's very specific.

But then what what about it comes down to like you know having protein and protein shakes and and all that kind of stuff and versus oh well that guy is cheating because he eats good night like shit you know what i mean like it becomes like a very very slippery slope on like what's allowed and what's not allowed um there's see that well so like for an example um there's all kinds of drugs that are not allowed right because okay it's like this specific drug is not allowed well they can they can alter it just a tiny little bit and now it's no longer an unallowed drug it's now it's not banned yet like it's just they were talking about like staying ahead of the curve so there's definitely guys that will do that

yeah i don't know i just it definitely is a mess that i don't know who but some of your fights surely would have been a little easier if there were no peds in the world because you're not on them and i mean you've had what 15 18 ufc fights 18 now UFC fights? 18, yeah. 18. Somebody was. Probably, yeah. It's all kind of murky. And here's the real issue. This is like why things have kind of been

gone awry a little bit. There's all kinds of crap about how Anderson tested positive and Nick tested positive. Part of that all comes down to the fact that an athletic commission... crap about how Anderson tested positive and Nick tested positive. Part of that all comes down to the fact that an athletic commission... Can I interrupt? Nick tested positive for pot, which I just didn't want it to get mixed up.

Yeah, right. Any kind of banned substance, drug, whatever. I just fought in Vegas. I got licensed a week or two before the fight, right? Just because by the time you get all your – you have to have all your medicals done before you start the licensing process. They want you to have the medicals within X number of days before the fight. So a lot of times you don't – the licensing doesn't happen until right before the fight happens. So let's say I'm going to fight in Vegas.

So I got my license a week and a half ago. Vegas. I got my license a week and a half ago. Well, if the Nevada State Athletic Commission in Vegas, if they want to drug test me, then they have zero authority to drug test me until I become licensed. If the Nevada Commission wanted to drug test one of you guys, you would tell them to go fuck themselves. I am not licensed by you. You have no power over me. You have no right at all to ask me for a drug test. I'm just a dude. You're just some random dude, which I am too until I become licensed by them.

They have no authority. What happens is guys don't get licensed until shortly before the fight. The window that they have to drug test you is very, very small for random testing. So it's okay, I'm going to get licensed a week and a half before the fight.

So as long as I can pass a test by the time I start the process and I start becoming licensed, they can only drug test me for a week and a half up until the fight and then I'm good. But the UFC could drug test you like they do any employee. Like employers drug test their like they do any employee. Like, employers drug test their staff all the time.

The UFC can't, they don't really want to be in that position where they're responsible for that. Because if they start drug testing someone, and someone gets caught, or there's some kind of snafu, like, they're catching a lot of shit right now, because Anderson supposedly tested dirty back in like,

I don't know if it was early january or mid-december or something but a couple weeks before the fight and it wasn't the results didn't come out until after the fight so there's all kinds of like all kinds of uh perceived sketchiness to it all yeah yeah because because it looks like they knew they were both dirty and they decided to let them fight so they could make a buck and then tell everyone they were dirty after the fight. And that's how it looks. Now, the Nevada Commission has came out and said that's not how it works. So, you know, like all the testing is done anonymously. Like, you know, like Anderson's urine sample or whatever it was that they sent

was assigned a number. Whoever was testing it had no idea that there was any kind of deadline or what was going on. They just get sample 872, and 872 tested positive for this particular drug did you see bigfoot come out uh no so bigfoot silva for people who don't follow the ufc they're not related they just have the same last name um came out and he was like man that damn doctor gave him testosterone and and you know it's not silva's fault at all he had no idea the same thing happened to me i got busted for pissing hot and and we share the same doctor

and don't you know and i'm like fuck have i been ripped off my whole life my doctor is never prescribing me any performance enhancing drugs like how come i'm not swole never once has my doctor taken an interest in my testosterone level. Yes, yeah. I've had plenty of cases of strep throat, and I never come out of it with testosterone therapy. If I were a doctor, I would. See, here's the thing. I would think that's a competitive industry,

and if I were a doctor, I'd be like, hey, come here, come here. You know how most doctors get kind of, they don't even want to give you one of those shots like in the old days? I'll give you five shots. This will make you healthy. This will make you strong. This will make you dick hard. Like, I would shoot them whatever they wanted.

I'd just give it to them. I would want my... Dude, wouldn't you feel like a total bitch if you were just in your doctor's office getting a checkup, and he's like, hmm, well, it appears you're very feminine. Okay. checkup and he's like, hmm, well, it appears you're very feminine. Okay. Oh, it appears that your

male hormone levels are so low as to be irrelevant. Let's give you something. Like, if they can if upon like a visual inspection, if they can give you an ocular pat down, if you will, and tell that your testosterone levels are

a little off and there's something wrong. I'll give you a perfect example. I was at Walmart the other day, and I saw a grandmother whose testosterone levels were much higher than mine will ever be. That mustache and beard combo she had, it was a goatee. She had so much hair coming from her neck. It was long. It was two and a half, three inches long. It was white. I was disgusted. I literally retched a little. I went, like, it was gross. She also had this big mole here that had

four hairs coming out of it in different directions. Walmart is amazing. Were they all very dark hairs? They were all very dark coming out of the mole, right? No, they're white. They were, like, pale. They were all very dark coming out of the mole, right? No, they're white. They were like pale.

They were white? White hairs coming out of the mole? Yes, white mole hairs. I guess if you get older. Yeah. I saw a group of four people today who looked very inbred. I don't know. It looked like... In Georgia?

Yeah. It looked like they... In Georgia? Yeah. It looked like they might have stumbled out of a carnival freak show, maybe, and they were all pushing a cart full of Old Milwaukee and cheese. Right there in Kearneyville? Did you... Who would have guessed? So they had some Old Milwaukee

ice... And cheese. They had Old old Milwaukee ice. And cheese. They had old Milwaukee and cheese. A whole shopping cart full of it. The one in the back had long black stringy hair down to his shoulders. And he was hunched really far over with a long bony neck. The one pushing the cart. He had some sort of a disorder, I would say. His chin to, like, skull ratio was all off.

It just, it didn't match up. There was something wrong with him, and he wasn't paying attention to anything. What kind of hyperbolic maniacs do you have shopping at your Walmart? There was this fat woman in front whose gut was protruding over her, like her sweatpants and her muumuu type shirt so that you could see the stretch marks.

She kind of had a really significant overbite. With her bottom lip really sticking out far. She too had a bit of a mustache. Every time I go to Walmart, you see some real freaks and just weird motherfuckers. I used to play this game with a girlfriend I had. We I go to Walmart, you see some real freaks and just weird motherfuckers.

I used to play this game with a girlfriend I had. We would go to Walmart with our cameras because cell phone cameras were new at the time, and we would snap pictures of the weirdest people we could find at Walmart long before there was a peopleofwalmart.com. I didn't know that was a thing. Not a hard challenge. Peopleofwalmart.com? Oh, yes. Yes.

Peopleofwalmart.com is one, yes. Yes. People of Walmart.com is... I didn't know that. It's one of my favorite little stops on the internet. Dude, one time we went to Walmart, and there was a woman there. It was outside Chicago. She had a hairdo that looked exactly like the SwiftKey logo. Mm-hmm. I was there. Yeah.

It's kind of a short story. It was there. Yeah. It's kind of a short story. It was Blackley. I don't know. Her hair was like swirled and several different colors. It was purple and it looked just like the SwiftKey logo. It was hard enough

that it might have been somewhat protective like in the case of head injury or like falling objects. It was people at Walmart. It seemed like if she rushed you with that head on, I felt like she could do some damage with it. It was pretty significant. Yeah, yeah.

Joe, did you buy a new car? And if you didn't, did I talk you out of it? You did talk me out of it. I did? It was me? Yeah, yeah. 100%. I'm proud of me. So I decided, so I have a 2002 Ford Explorer, which was like the car I had when I was in college.

And then I have a 2010 Maxima. And my Maxima, I just paid off. So I was thinking about getting rid of it. And I think I'm going to get a Jeep Grand Cherokee, I think. And I basically decided that I'm going to wait until the Explorer dies, and then I will get the Grand Cherokee. But I'll wait until the Explorer dies. Okay.

It's going to be a while. I almost never drive it. Just basically, no. Yeah, I gave him the whole thing. You should get that, man. A friend of mine has one of the new Grand Cherokees, and those are fucking nice. Yeah, I feel definitely way safer, especially with Joey in the car, driving with

my Explorer, which is, like I said, 2002, as opposed to my 2010 Maxima, just because it's bigger and higher. You know what's really awesome? A complete lack of car payments is really awesome. It is pretty awesome, too. I bet it is. Woody, how long ago

did you pay off your truck? How many years has it been? 2004, I think. I paid off my truck. I said it wrong. No, I'm right. 2004. 2004, I paid off my truck.

That'd be awesome. Thank you. There's no car payment. Yeah. Yeah. And Jackie's too. I had enough money in stock options, so we just sold some stock options, and Jackie's car we just paid with a check. Sweet.

There's something about being really wealthy and just loving an old shitty car that's even cooler than being wealthy and owning a dope car, you know? Like, when you hear about Warren Buffett driving that old Lincoln, you're like, yeah, fuck yeah, man. Enjoy that 1959 Lincoln town car.

You know what I mean? Isn't it kind of cooler when you see the super rich people who just are like, no, I like this and I'm going to keep driving it. Fuck you. I'm rich enough that I can just throw up the birds and do what I want. He has nothing to prove. You know, I like this more.

Yeah. Knock yourself out, Buffett. It's awesome. Anyway, I was wondering how that worked out. I hadn't circled back to ask if you could. I held off. You held off. On the other hand, T-Mart bought a new car. Did you guys see it?

No. I watched part of that video today, actually. That is so cool. It's so cool to see someone like T-Mart succeed like that. He's such a good guy. I'm glad to see it. Yeah. So T-Mart has, in a lighter way, become like the new Woody where people fuss at him for no reason whatsoever.

He's done nothing but try to make his subscribers happy and entertained. And sometimes they give him a hard time. But he's been successful and he hasn't blown his money on you know women in wine and he bought himself a 2015 nissan gtr premium i hope i have that perfect um it's a it's a nice car it's beautiful just what are you looking at joe you look uh focused i'm looking i'm looking at his instagram i'm looking at, Joe? You look focused. I'm looking at his Instagram. I'm looking at the photos. Uh-huh.

Yeah. Does T-Mart really get hate? How could you dislike T-Mart? Exactly. Yeah. No, if you go to any of his comments, they're all like some people fuss at him and then other people are fussing at the fact that he got fussed at. And then there's some who just talk about the

video like they're supposed to. I feel like his demographic is probably a lot of teenage kids. The cool thing is to hate on people. Yeah, this podcast demographic is different. Everyone, you guys get a lot more hate

than normal. I'm awesome at getting hate. I don't mean to brag, but I'm fucking incredible at it. I just block people. I had tons of people sending me Twitter stuff after the fight. Like, oh, you suck. You got beat up. It was like, block. It's like therapeutic.

I kind of like it. I've had Minecraft players reach out to me so that I will give you advice on how to fight better. Yeah. No. No. This isn't mine. Clearly no. players reach out to me so that i will give you advice on how to fight better yeah no no this is clearly no yeah see if i was joe the only way i would respond to haters would be like that's a great point i'd love to talk in person yeah that would be all that i would say a little bit the little bit that it bothers me when someone sends me a nasty message is completely negated and overcome by like the little bit of joy I get from blocking them. Blocked, blocked, blocked.

It's easy. It bothers you more when it comes from the inside though. Yeah, for sure. You hadn't lost part of this one in a couple of fights, but there was one a while back and you were telling me someone you knew was teaching you how to fight or something and you're like, fuck that guy.

No. So Chris Pongwest is like one of my best friends. He's going to be the best man in my life. That's definitely not the guy I'm talking about. No. So it's his twin brother, Jay, who was basically like – it was after one of my fights. He was like, Joe, you need to realize you don't have a very good stand-up. But you need to get the fight to the ground sooner and blah, blah, blah.

And he's just talking out of his ass. And he used to train with me years before. He was one of my first really good training partners. I got into fighting because I was helping Jay get ready for fights. Because I was helping him get ready, I decided I wanted to fight. That was kind of how that got the ball rolling. Fucker hasn't trained with us in 10 years now. Now he's trying to tell me what I should be doing.

Motherfucker, this is what I do full time. You don't know more than me shut the fuck up and um and i'm you know so i blocked him like he's like cut out of my life like i want nothing to do with the kid i was gonna ask what the current status is because that was a while back yeah but i mean but i'm not i'm not i'm not angry at him like i was before i just i blocked him i blocked him on my phone i blocked him on twitter and whatever, Facebook and everything else. Fuck him. There it is.

But that's like the perfect combo of how to get to someone. He has an opinion that you semi-respect. You know the guy, et cetera. He's not just a random guy on Twitter. And I was pissed because he did a Facebook status update. He tagged it. And it was just really condescending. It was like, well, Joe Lozon's one of my best friends, but it's almost like he was doing it

so his friends knew that he and I were friends or something like that. It's like, dude, fuck you. I'm done with it. So I have a few different avenues we go down. So I've got a few stories. I've got one about some drunken Florida hunters. I've got one about a man who had sex with a dolphin.

I've got the other story about that Jordanian pilot who was burned alive by ISIS. I want to do that one. Let's do the Jordanian pilot, but I will say this real quick. T-Mart, congratulations on your car. I hope you love it. And, just so I've got them all out there, I also found a website that has these little trivia things with different categories and

difficulties, so we can do trivia. That sounds cool, too. Where the fuck is Taylor? Where did he go? I think his internet connection dropped off he didn't say goodbye or anything like that oh you know we should do while he's gone what ad read ad read okay let's get Joe to do the ad read you know I really do let's talk about a crunchy roll.com first. So we've used

Crunchyroll before. And first and foremost, if you want to get yourself a free month of this service, it's the best anime service on the internet. Go to Crunchyroll.com slash PKA and sign up for free. When are we going to do the next anime stream? We've got to nail

a date down and then do it. I think Joe should read that. Premium subscribers can stream 240p That's not what it says! showing Chinese and Shippuden, Narata, Fiery.

Premium subscribers can stream all shows in beautiful HD quality 1080p. Shows currently airing in Japan such as Naruto, Shippuden, The Fairy Tale are available to stream for premium Crunchyroll subscribers within an hour of them premiering in Japan. With Crunchyroll Premium, you can watch anime

anytime, anywhere on all of your devices, desktop, iPhone, Android, tablet or your TV through Xbox, PlayStation, Roku, Apple TV, and now on Wii U. Thanks for nothing, Joe. 240p. I was off. Joe was going to bring a great shame.

But seriously, though, when are we going to do the stream? Need to do the stream. I want to do the stream. I'll be honest, I kind of cheated and I watched two episodes ahead. I'm happy to go back and watch them. But it gets good and they start doing shit. I'm thinking Sunday. You know why? Because there's no housing construction on Sunday and I don't come home dead tired.

What is the housing update? Because I haven't been keeping up at all. So today was a light day. I think we fired two people on Saturday. You better get their shit done next time. Who did you fire and why'd you fire them? They were carpenters and like it wasn't really me who made the call on this particular one. We have a carpenter on site. His name is Danny and he's very good. So Danny's kind of been supervising the other ones and uh like i was there when he

was holding it like he had what looked like a drill and a drill bit and he's like these don't fit and in my head i'm like right it doesn't fucking fit because that's a fucking impact wrench you imbecile i know it looks kind of like a drill but there's all kinds of shit that looks like a drill and isn't a drill i could give you a hairdryer I got a drill shaped flashlight I got a pistol they're all kind of drill shaped but doesn't mean you're supposed to make holes with them go fix a lawnmower with that impact wrench of yours or drive a screw or a lag bolt but don't drill a hole because that ain't a drill but he's telling the the general contractor like oh you got to get me a new drill bit

because this one doesn't fit in my impact wrench. No shit. So anyway, these guys were less than experts. Why are you doing carpet? I don't think you'd be balling and going hardwood floor and everything. I said carpentry. Oh, I thought you said carpet. Yeah, no, no.

So actually that's what they were doing. There was a little part of the house that had like brick floor in a room and it wasn't balling. So we're having the floor raised by, I don't know, an inch. And then the hardwood floor will feather into the rest of the hardwood floor. But that raising it by an inch is a carpentry task. They have to build subfloor and drill it into the thing and insulate it and stuff. Subfloor goes down fast. I put some flooring in my basement when we finished it off.

I was amazed at how fast it went down. These guys took days. Now their task was a little trickier because they had to level it with the laser levels. Subfloor goes down quick, but they were building essentially the floor joists, you'd call them. Okay. And those had to be carefully trimmed and such so that it would be flat and not squeaky and all that kind of stuff. I'm just imagining that every time a new subcontractor shows up,

you go out there, show up, meet them at the truck and just be like, do you have a chalk line? And they're just going to be like, what? Yeah. No, no, no. I just want to know, do you possess a possess a chalk line it doesn't matter if you got it with you right now because you know we're not even doing that today but you know what one is you own one right there was an electrician yeah there was an electrician she was she was putting uh recessed lights in the ceiling and she's like i wish there

was some tool that would like you know draw a straight line it's like, I wish there was some tool that would draw a straight line. It's like, yeah, it's a chalk line, motherfucker. Or one of those laser things. One of those laser levels that you can use a suction cup on. It's got degree markings and stuff. There's tons of tools that do that. A professional fucking electrician should be aware of all of them. Okay, the electrician.

Here's the thing that they did. I have two houses, and we're connecting them with Ethernet cable, right? So I have this, like, Cat6 direct burial Ethernet cable. All you got to do is dig a trench, lay it in it. Well, I pointed out to them, like, look, there's floodlights in the, like, front garden that shine on the house. So when you trench, like, be aware of that. And they're like, oh, okay. They're trenching, and then they hit the wire, and then they just like stopped and didn't tell anyone and like started burying it again and it's like a three

year old that knocked over a a vase off the shelf you know they're just like a power cord to his lights it was like was it me like bear topper and they left and uh and like i discovered it later when we got like a professional trenching crew you know they brought their little line finders and it's like look at this the line ends right where the trench ends and let's see he digs it up with a shovel why don't you just have good people to do this right so you spent x number of thousands of dollars on a house and now you're gonna skimp on freaking contractors he's not skipping yeah that's not the problem i'm paying out the ass for bad work and um even worse yeah so uh i guess what it is is the general contractor really took our like hurry up message to heart and he just grabbed

like first available and now we kind of did a reset we got rid of all the bad guys uh an electrician came in today the guy's freaking outstanding hvac guy came plumber guy came all of them have been outstanding i've really been focusing on the negative and not the fact that like you know heck this week has been really good so um anyway, it's moving along. Okay, so Taylor's back. You lagged out when we were talking about possible topics to move to, and I'll quickly go through them. I have these four drunken Florida men on a deer hunt. It ends pretty humorously.

I've got the guy who fucks dolphins. I've got the Jordanian pilot burned alive by ISIS this week, and I have a pretty cool website that does trivia, and there's all kinds of different categories, and there's difficulties in sports, television, movies, all that stuff. Well, the trivia thing is definitely promising.

Let's go to that later. But is the man who fucks dolphins, is he fucking them, or is he permitting dolphins to penetrate himself? So I will link you all. This gentleman, I believe, was penetrating a dolphin.

Less interesting, but I'll run with it. Let's see. You'd rather it be a male dolphin and... Actually, Taylor, tell me the most interesting combo. Sex on the dolphin and the person. Go. Well, it's more interesting of a story if this person has found a way to optionally offer himself to dolphins at his own leisure for his own pleasure.

That is a true feat. And I also find it interesting that the person in your side is a guy. So it's a guy on guy thing. It's absolutely a guy-on-guy thing. There's nothing for me otherwise. Malcolm Brenner, age 63, claims that he fell for Dolly, a bottlenose dolphin

who lived at the now-defunct Florida Land in Sarasota. After her amorous Who wrote this. After her amorous advances, Brenner told the story of their year-long affair relationship again in

Dolphin Love, a new film which premiered last week at the Slamdance Film Festival in Park City, Utah. Slamdance, which takes place at the same time as the more famous Sundance Film Festival, is seen as an edgier alternative

and hosts more niche films. Oh, man. I started... Here's some quotes. I'm gonna read you here. Let's see. I started... It shows the guy in the future and then a past picture with the dolphin, like it's a progressive relation.

This is great. Speaking of, Brenner has previously described how he was trusted to be alone with the dolphins. And waited until after nightfall to have sex with Dolly. There's a 15 minute video apparently. Oh god, here it is. Should we... Wow. This was a long termterm relationship this was you can see him with his 70s flow

and then the left picture of him as an old man still a dolphin lover all right i'm going to link you to a short little video or at least it says it's 24 seconds i could be wrong but i'm sorry this just happened a long time ago the guy is 63 now, but it was only a year-long love affair Correct hmm well today. I'm sure somebody realized he was fucking the dolphin so they took it away You know he lost his job at now the fuck Sarasota You know park the doll probably because he was fucking dolphins the dolphin was a girl, so I'm guessing he's Belly to belly against this female dolphin no blowhole

this is I mean this is really funny but it's also dark knowing that that entire guy's life and everyone he met who has a connection to him emotionally has to know now that he's the dolphin fucker. The dolphin fucker.

Can we watch the video? I would love to, yes. I linked it down there. I think I've got it. I linked to the video itself. So I'm, oh, no it's not. If you scroll down. The link scrolls you down.

It does. Yeah, I see that now. Are you ready? So I am queued up at zero Joe this is a press place we all like get here and then on the count of three we'll say one two three play so okay are you ready what are we cute I so there's a link in the chat on the right I got that I'm on the video what are we on we started zero Are we starting at zero? Yes. So, one, two, three, play. I'm playing it, Ed.

My name is Malcolm J. Brenner, and this is the story of how I fell in love with Dolly the dolphin. Oh, you're a few seconds ahead of me. I just got the dolphin lover. Malcolm, meet Dolly. Dolly meet Malcolm. There were no intimations that this dolphin and I would become lovers eventually. Dear God. There absolutely is an inclination that you're going to become lovers

because all it takes for you to become lovers with a dolphin is for you to fuck said dolphin. It wasn't like he had long conversations with this sea mammal. Can this be our next P.K. movie? Just fucked it. Oh, you want to watch this together? Yeah, I'll get us a link to it. And maybe we'll watch this

one night this week. This looks ridiculous. It's this guy telling the story of his dolphin fucking. This falls under my good incest. Or not incest um bestiality right right because because i have this it's been well planned out on bestiality now if you have sex with like a squirrel or a chicken or something like that then that's not necessarily consensual because they can't resist a big like human but this dolphin wanted it right clearly because if the dolphin didn't want it i assume they're doing it in the water right the dolphin is the master of that domain she could have stopped him any time but instead a bit of dick right off you ever seen

those teeth i have yeah yeah that dolphin can choose to not be fucked at any given juncture i didn't choose to not be i bet the dolphin was like pushing back on it and everything. I bet that was a nasty dolphin. I bet she was in some weird shit. Blowhole to mouth. All kind of stuff. Dolly's a slutty dolphin and she wanted it clearly. How funny would that be if he was like she's a dirty dolphin.

She'd let me finish on her blowhole. I wonder where he did finish. I'm guessing he finished inside her vagina. Yeah, inside her vagina. Probably inside the blowhole. Because how is he going to get up in that dolphin vagina? You'd have to

flip the animal upside down. No, he'd flip himself, right? He was on the bottom. He'd just sort of slide under in a flotation thing, hug the dolphin. Does he have to hold his breath? I imagine the dolphin is on its side, and he's kind of standing in waist-deep water and pulling the dolphin toward him.

You know what I'm picturing is they're both on that kind of pseudo-shore near the fake ocean and the dolphin is reversed cowgirl half in the water half out. That's what I was thinking. Like bouncing its ass on his dick.

That's great. How do you see the man-dolphin relationship going down? I'm just thinking you're not supposed to have sex in the water. I disagree. I think just thinking, you're not supposed to have sex in the water, right? I disagree. I think that's a stupid rule. You think it's a stupid rule? That is a limitation held only by human vaginas.

Dolphin vaginas don't give a fuck. I imagine the dolphin vagina is very mucousy to make up for that. Is that a thing? Are you not supposed to have sex in the water? I thought that was fine. I think you're not supposed to. No, you're not supposed to have sex in the water if you thought that was fine. I think you're not supposed to. No, you're not supposed to have sex in the water if you're in a pool or a hot tub or something, right?

Or the ocean. Yeah, you don't want that going. And that's just not a very good lubricant water. But showers and baths are fine. You're going to throw the pH balance all off in there. Well, wet platinum doesn't care about water. If you got in the shower and tried Well, wet platinum doesn't care about water. Wet platinum, if you got in the shower and try to get wet platinum off,

water beads off of you like you're a fucking fur seal. Dude, I love wet platinum, but I don't know how to get that shit off. I feel like I should keep some paint in it

by the shower or something. I know those spills are bad. Those clean, they can never clean up all the oil from, like the BP oil spill I saw. They just found, like, 10 million more gallons of that on the ocean floor. But if they ever spilled, like, 10 million gallons of wet platinum, they'd never get that shit out.

Oh, no. You'd just be slip sliding on the Gulf of Mexico for the rest of your life. Who knows? But, yeah, when I clean wet platinum off my junk, I pretty much, like, use water, use a towel. It's not clean. And then like that night, it's just kind of clean now. I don't know where it went. You're still a little slippery.

I like it. It's almost like a moisturizer for your balls. It's nice. You know what? I know exactly what Kyle's talking about. It makes the skin softer temporarily after you rinse it off. But also, do you ever make the error of rubbing it off with a hand

and then when you wash that hand later, it kind of reactivates the oil agents in your skin and then you get slippery again. Like a freshly waxed car, you've got beads of water on it. It's a moisturizer for your anus. Shared too much. Well, that's one way to do it.

All right. Okay, so now I'm whittled down to this poor Jordanian man who was burned alive. The four Florida men who had way too much fun, or some trivia. Is there any more footage of the dolphin fucker? Please?

Just anything else. I could probably find you some actual dolphin fucking videos, but I don't think no no not that that is this individual doing it well he may have made some dolphin fucking videos I could look for that

he very well may have I mean if I were him I would have I mean why stop okay so let's go to the poor Jordanian pilot. I'll link you up to that. Did anyone else watch the video? I haven't seen the footage of it. No.

How long is the video? All right, so the video is long, and it's well edited, and it has CGI and graphics and all that stuff. But about halfway into it, after they're done with their propaganda, they burn this guy alive, and they've got him in a big, tall iron cage, maybe eight feet tall. Maybe an eight-foot cube. Maybe ten-foot cube.

I want to see the actual burning. That can't be too long, right? He burns for like... No, it's not that long. I really don't want to watch the actual burning. Oh my god. This is an all-guy podcast until just now. I watched it. It was

quite bad, and I watched it with no idea. I'll watch it, but I don't... You guys just make me want to see it even more. Let's get a reaction video going. It's just sad. Just looking at this picture on the front, you can see the three militants

holding the guy. He's naked with his shirt there. He's got to be looking at someone like that. He looks really scared. Just looking at someone like that, can't you put yourself there thinking, maybe it's going to work out. Maybe I'll get to see my family again. Maybe I'm the person. That's so fucking sad.

If you scroll down, you can see him kind of engulfed by the fire. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have a video of it? Fox News is streaming the video on their website right now. Why do I feel like it's going to be a weak sauce version of the video? It is not a weak sauce version. That's what I watched.

It was quite horrible. It's bad. Let me find it. I'm working on it. I didn't think anybody would want to see it. It was terrible.. I mean, it's bad. Let me find it. I'm working on it. I didn't think anybody would want to see it. It was terrible. I watched it. What we do for this show. I mean, if we're going to watch it, I'll watch it.

But this is... Just that picture looks awful. That picture looks awful. It says, warning, this is the least horrifying image. Yeah, that's someone burning alive. That's the start of the last nine seconds of someone's life. It takes a lot longer than that for him to die. You asphyxiate very quickly because the fire takes up every bit of oxygen around your face.

You know, I had heard the same thing, and then I watched this guy burn alive, and it took a long time. Oh, Jesus. Well, God, I hoped that was true. It's not true. He burns for at least 30 seconds. God, Kyle. Kyle, did you find... It's not the horrific murder of hostage wasn't a miscalculation video, is it?

Jordan is taking the fight to ISIS-wanting air. I'm trying to find it I watched it on my phone so I don't have a Jordanian pilot video I misspelled two out of three words in Jordanian pilot burning

I swear to mess oh god it's so horrible. I think I'm going to find it. I got it. I'm going to see if there's a way to direct link you without... Here, I'll just send you... I think I have it.

I'm just trying to pause it. Alright, there it is. Now, if you actually want to get to the part where they burn this four guy, because there's a lot of bullshit. Oh, I see. This is a 22-minute video, so we need to... It's somewhere in, like,

the halfway point, I think. I felt like it was. Yeah, just tell us what time after you find it, and we'll fast forward it to that. I'm clicking around. I'm trying to help you find it. Oh, man, this is rough. So it's past 15 minutes, if that helps. Jesus, all these close-ups of his face.

Yeah, so I haven't found anything interesting yet. Let's look. Well, you're looking for like one minute of footage. Video, is it? There's like three videos on this page. Let's look. You're looking for one minute of footage. There's like three videos on this page. Use my link. 17 Yes, go to 1727.

That's it. Really? Alright, then I'll have to use your link. Let me see. You're on that Shoebat website? Yes, shoebatBat.com. Is it the video right above the 1 minute and 32 second video in the Arabic?

Yeah, it's the 22 minute and 34 second long video. You want to go to like 17 minutes and 30 seconds in. That's when they start their build up. It's really awful. Can you give that time stamp again? 17 minutes and 30up. Oh, it's really awful. I'm not going to watch it. Can you give that time stamp again?

17 minutes and 30 seconds. That'll get it started off. Hey, if we have to watch this again, you have to watch it again. So at 1730, I'm looking at a guy's shoes and what looks like a torch. Yeah, exactly. He goes up at 1820. All right. Are we all queued up at 1730?

Yeah. Yes, I am. Joe? Almost. Hold on. Poor guy. All right. I'm queued up at 1730.

All right. Ready, set, play. And just the horror. So keep in mind what we're seeing has been edited, and a lot of those guys that are standing over there aren't – like this guy, he's not necessarily there. I feel like there's a lot of editing going on here and green screening and bullshit. They're trying to hide where this happened and how it happened.

There's an orange guy in a small iron cage, and then there's a handful of militants with a hood on. Only their eyes are showing and they've lit a torch and it looks like there's a like a trace a line of powder that leads toward the cage gasoline gasoline okay it looks like a powder to me i'll look at it again yeah it might be hay soaked gasoline or something oh man i'm getting a little speechless so they're showing the the flame go toward him in slow-mo oh my god oh god wow so he's he's on fire he's grabbing his face and he's kind of dancing like in in oh i'm gonna call it dancing what would you call it

crying yeah he's holding his, he's holding his face. He's holding his face. He's kind of hunkered down. His whole body is flaming. It's as if they put... They must have doused him in gas. They did. Because he's not standing in flames. He's on fire. He's fully engulfed. He's on his knees now.

He's still alive, I think. No, he's dead. I think he's gone now. He's still alive, I think. No, he's dead. I think he's gone now. He's melting. Yeah, what is that hanging from his chin chest area? It's flesh. He's melting. And part of his shirt left over.

His nose is melted off. Now, this is edited. It looked to me like his death was under 20 seconds, 30 seconds. Now they've dumped a pile of rocks on him to put the fire out with a big bulldozer or something. And they're smushing him with the bucket, dragging it backwards. Yeah. That was horrible. That is awful. That is awful.

That is fucking awful. Yeah. I wonder if people in the Middle East are slightly more desensitized to this. No, they showed that before, like a crowd of cheering people. I was reading a post about that earlier. It's ridiculous.

A crowd of cheering people cheered at someone burning alive like that. That's fucked up it's ridiculous a crowd of cheering people cheered at someone alive like that that's fucked up fuck every one of those people that was really awful because like in america we'll see someone get shot and it's kind of like yeah i've seen a million of those before i'll even see an explosion and not think too much of it but burning to death is not in my like i'm not desensitized to that. It's because shooting someone to death, it's like it's over immediately.

Not to excuse it, but you're not putting them through anything more awful than need be to kill them. Burning someone alive is just... It's needless savagery for the sake of intimidation. That was pretty horrible. I have long... I've had a video idea for a long time

that I call the Flaming Marksman, in which you put me in a burn suit and set me on fire until I'm fully engulfed and then I have to shoot a set number of targets before they'll put me out. We priced it one time. Apparently it cost like five grand

to get the professional Hollywood crew to come set you on fire and everything. They put you out with a half the video? Yeah, they'll put you out like you see in Hollywood movies. A couple guys would run over with extinguishers and put you out immediately, and you'd have the gel all over your skin and the multi-layered burn suit and stuff.

But it's expensive. It's like five or six grand to get those people to come out. Right. That would be my hold up as well. Has any headway been made at all? What's that? Has any headway been made at all? I haven't been following, but into the whole ISIS thing,

have any big attacks been made or are they crippled where anything yeah every so often every day every so often there's a battle one against them you know I don't know how the war is going but like for example this Jordanian pilot was burned and then Jordan responded by bombing, was it 50 or 55? They immediately got scores of kills against him. Was it the Jordanian president

that was quoting Clint Eastwood from The Unforgiven and talking about that he was going to leave none of them alive and kill them all until there was no more ammunition and all that crazy stuff? I'm embarrassed that I don't know this, but ISIS had control of a key city in some country and they were just driven out.

It wasn't Jordan, was it? No. I'll find it. It would be Syria or Iraq. That's what, um, it's Islamic States of Syria. It was Syria. And the Kurds drove them out of Cobain, which, you know,

like most Americans, I learned geography by war and I didn't really know Cobain, but apparently it's a key place in Syria and ISIS just lost it. So it appears that ISIS is on the decline, but not so declined that they're not doing horrific stuff and posting it on the internet. All right, so to lighten the mood a bit, would you like to go to trivia or drunk guys in Florida?

Now, just keep in mind with the trivia, I can pick around between lots of categories. There's a lot of stuff to be done here. Can we set up the trivia thing as a competition? I'd love to do that. But then, Kyle, can you find a way to participate, even though you're reading it? I don't know how Woody got Jackie to somehow use this website and quiz us.

Well, we could do more than one round, you know, for example, Kyle could maybe abstain in the first round and I could read in the second round or something like that. Okay. I'll read the first round.

Yeah, that's a good idea. So main categories, would you guys like music, movies, television, sports, or other?

Oh, I suck at all of those other movies. Okay. It's going to be all actors' names. I've got general not... So here's a few random ones. Food brand names. General knowledge. 80s quiz. There it is.

That whole 80s quiz. I want to take you guys on an 80s quiz. Alright. Woody gets the first category. on an 80s quiz. All right. Woody gets the first category. It's 80s quiz. Here we go. Unfair. Go on.

What were the opening lyrics to the first song ever played on MTV? Oh, God. That seems difficult. Let me just think. Is it? Only a decade before I was born. Video killed him. I'm sorry i switched video killed the radio star let me know you can't ask shit from woody's heyday okay you can't ask which big band was the most popular and the and the fucking speaky. Who was the first talky movie star?

What was it? It was Radio Kill the Radio Star, right? Which one of the talking pictures? Kyle, what's the answer? It is... Well, there are some options here. I could give you the options. If it were multiple choice, it would probably help.

So the options are, poor old Johnny Ray sounded sad upon the radio. He moved a million hearts in mono. I heard you on the wireless back in 52. We can dance if we want to. We can leave your friends behind. Crack that whip. Give the pass

the slip. Stepped on a crack. Break your mama's back. Alright, you can dance if you want to. We can leave your friends behind. It's not that. Can you do the early ones again? I'm having a real hard time with this website now. Oh, really?

Yeah, because now I see that even when I choose an answer, I think I have to go to the very end before it's going to give me the fucking results. Yeah. Oh, maybe I can get answers now. Oh, okay. I've got it now. I apologize. Okay.

So the answer is, poor old Johnny Ray sounded sad upon the radio. He moved a million hearts in mono. That was really difficult. Yeah. What comes after the cherry in Pac-Man? Is it A, the pineapple, B, the banana, C, orange, or D, strawberry? D, strawberry. Anyone else?

Banana. I guess we're going by who can answer first because then Woody gets a point. How are we doing this? I thought he was going to do the whole thing. We need to buzz in? Yeah, I think we're going to have to buzz in. Yeah, all right, we'll buzz in. I think I have a point, though.

Do I get that point? Woody does take a point, of course. Okay. So we do have to buzz in, though. Yes. So I'll just anticipate that I know the answer a few seconds ahead. Good call. Before becoming arguably the most influential person

in the entire genre of industrial music, Trent Reznor played keyboards in a band in which 80s Michael J. Fox movie? Was it A, Teen Wolf, B, Back to the Future, C, Joe Lozano? T-Wolf. Incorrect. Damn it. Was it A, Teen Wolf, B, Back to the Future, C, Light of the Day, or D, Bright Lights, Big City? D, Bright Lights, Big City?

False. You lose a point. I lose a point. Light of the Day. God damn it. I didn't know that. All right, so Merc and I are tied in less Merc-a-guesses. Yes.

In 1980, a new drug called RU486 was released in France. What was it used for? A. It was the first erectile dysfunction medication. B. It was the abortion pill. C. It helped women have orgasms. Or D. It was the birth control pill for men. What year?

What year was it again? The abortion pill. It was the abortion pill. Joe Lozon moves to zero points from his formerly negative position. Which model slash actress said this line in a Calvin Klein jeans ad? You know what comes between me and my Calvins?

Nothing. The ad was eventually banned. Was it A, Brooke Shields, B, Kathy Ireland, C, Bo Derek, or D, Rachel Hunter? I knew this one at Calvin Klein. Brooke Shields. She's old.

Point to Taylor. Okay, so now what? I think Taylor has one. Taylor has one. Everyone else has zero. All of the following women have been in space. Who was the first woman in space? Was it A. Dr. May Carol Jemison, B. Helen Patricia Sharison, B. Helen

Patricia Sharman, C. Laurel Blair Salton Clark, or D. Dr. Sally Kristen Ride? They should have put point stars in there. Ms. Clark, right? Ms. Clark. Taylor moves

back down to zero. That was my guess too. I'm so glad I didn't guess it. All the players have zero. It's D then. I'm going with D. Woody takes a point and moves into the lead. What was the first food chain to publish a food clip containing the nutritional value of its food?

Was it A, White Castle, B, Burger King, C, McDonald's, or D, Wendy's? McDonald's. Taylor takes a point. He's tied up with Woody at one. Damn it. Who was the first rap group slash artist to have a certified gold album? Run DMC, Grandmaster.

Run DMC. Correctamundo. Woody moves into the lead, two to one. Joe has zero points. Michael Jackson's heart on fire when he was filming a commercial for what product? Pepsi. Woody moves into the lead further, three to one.

In 1984, an actress in a commercial for which fast food chain asked the question, where's the beef? Wendy's. Oh, I wish I was playing. The wife of which of the following politicians created the PMRC Parents Movie... Excuse me, Parents Music Resource Center? Was it Bill Clinton, George Washington... Excuse me, Bill Clinton, George Bush, Al Gore, or Dan Quayle?

Eminem referenced this? Bush. Nope. Is he back down to zero with Joe? and M referenced this? Bush. Nope. Is he back down to zero with Joe? Back down to zero. This is horse shit. All this happened before I was born. And Joe moves to negative points.

Damn it! We have Joe with negative points. Taylor with zero points. Woody with four if my count is correct. Sounds about right. Would anyone like to take one last shot at question number 11? The wife of which of the following politicians created the PMRC? Parents, Music Resource Center.

Only Woody can guess now. I'm not touching it. I don't know. I thought you were going to give Reagan as an option. It was Al Gore. Which cola used the slogan twice the caffeine? Mountain Dew, Coca-Cola, Pepsi, or Jolt? Jolt.

I don't know who was first there. I totally rang in and he just said Jolt. Like I rang in and then he said Jolt at the same time. I heard the ant first, so I'm going to give it to Woody who moves. Are you shitting me, Kyle? He's already got a strong lead. He goes to five,

but I will not deduct points for the correct answer, which was indeed Jolt. Oh, you got off easy, kid. Who is the official... Oh, thank you. That only seems fair. Who is the official party animal for being correct?

Who is the official party animal? Holy shit. Are you cheating? Are you cheating over there? No. I couldn't even tell you he wore a one black eye. He had a Hawaiian shirt on.

Wait, what was the previous question? I didn't hear it. Who is the official party animal that made his debut in a Bud Light beer commercial during the Super Bowl in 1987? Was it A, Spuds McKenzie, B, the Energizer Bunny, C, Joe Camel, or D, Alf? And Woody knew when I got the party animal that it was A, Spuds McKenzie. We should change the topic. I have Dr. Chiz'd this trivia competition.

And then I set it up for something that only I'm good at. Only two more questions. Okay, okay. The RIAA, Recording Industry Association of America, did which of this, which of the following in 1989? Did they make it mandatory that their artists stop producing albums

in LP, which is vinyl? Did they fire their president for involvement with a music piracy group? Did they start labeling CDs with parental warning stickers? Or did they fund a celebration for the opening of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? I'm going to guess.

I've got to see the warning stickers. Correct. Woody now with six points. God damn it. In 1983, what day officially became a national holiday? Grandparents Day? Martin Luther King Day? Veterans Day? Or? Grandparents Day, Martin Luther King Day, Veterans Day, or Thomas Jefferson's birthday?

Martin Luther King Day. Joe Lozon moves to zero. Yeah. We didn't make that a holiday until 83. I had no idea. We put up a fight for that down here. Georgia. No, it'd be Alabama.

So Woody really ripped that one apart and so he gets to host the next one. You have the link there so you can take over from here. Okay. Really ripped everybody a new one there. That was impressive. Woody fucking tore that apart.

He makes me and Joe look like we're significantly younger than him, which is not a huge feat. I wanted a piece of that one. I knew a lot of those. Alright, Joe, as a guest, music, movies, TV, sports, or other? Movies.

Alright, let me just hang on. I'm just learning how the website navigates. It's not like you might guess. And how did you get the answers, Kyle? I think you have to scroll to the bottom. Oh, and then get answers. And click get answers answers so are we doing a subcategory okay i got it now i'm ready to do this okay um oh oh so this is match the arnold

quote to the movie you see the problem i'm sorry well you see this is the problem with terrorists they're really inconsiderate when it comes to people's schedules true lies Kyle is right Kyle gets one point who is my daddy and what does it are coming in get a guy caught I just watched that the going to give Kyle that he said it first but Joe does not lose a point damn it come on come on do it come on come on kill me fuck

kill me now Kyle what are you up to come on come on three okay when I was a sports woman on the East German Olympic track and field team They dispensed anaerobic steroids As freely here and there

Junior, it's the scene It's the scene where Arnold Schwarzenegger's pregnant And he's in the group therapy class And all the other characters Are these women who have had steroid abuse And that's how they explain him looking like Schwarzenegger But being pregnant Kyle has four now

Alright, get ready with your buzzers, people. I'll be back. Terminator. It is Terminator. What did Kyle say? Terminator. I'm gonna give it to Joe because it was a tie and Kyle's got a huge lead.

Four to one. Oh, four to zero. No, you weren't negative. We gave you the because you got it right. Yeah, yeah-0. No, you weren't negative. We gave you the... Because you got it right. Yeah, yeah. If revenge is a dish best served cold, then put on your Sunday's finest. It's time to feast.

Batman. It is. The correct answer is Batman and Robin, but we're going with it. So that makes it 4-1-1. Answering a question. to crush your enemies I've got that fucking shirt I hear the lamentations of the women Kyle's got 511 bear pits you'll become like that. Okay. That's a great movie. I am the famous comedian Arnold Buchweiger.

Oh, fuck. That's last action hero. It is. When he's like, his movie character come to life because of the golden magic ticket with the little kid. That was a real bomb. God damn it, Kyle. How do you know everything about every Schwarzenegger movie? I've seen every Schwarzenegger movie. I'm a

huge fan. Alright. Kyle, do you have seven? Yes. Alright. 711. Thank you for the cookies. I look forward to tossing them. Tossing cookies. Alright, so it's a movie

where he doesn't speak good English. Okay. All of them. Here are your choices. One, Twins. Two. Twins. It is Twins. Twins. That's great. The premise of Twins is that he's the perfect he was the perfect

him and Danny DeVito were twins and he got all of the positive traits Danny DeVito got all the negative traits and so they're like the perfect opposite of each other it's hilarious i love twins i liked it too i'm not a pervert i'm just looking for a turbo mon doll you're going away nice joke it's movie two So it's, I think, 7-2-1 at this point. Um, if I am not me, then who the hell am I? Total recall. He's talking to himself in that little laptop thingy, and then he has to put the thing up in his nose to get the tracking device off.

That's hardcore. Between your faith and my Glock 9mm, I'll take the Glock. 60? No. No, it's faith. It's the one where he fights the devil. It was made in 2004, so it's end of days. Yes.

Damn it. All right. This is only religious. Aha, not last. Wait. Oh, yeah, that's right. Are you tied for last? I think so.

Tied for last with Joe. Yeah. What do you think I look like? Dirty Harry? One, kindergarten cop. Two, raw deal. Three, Terminator 2 Judgment Day. Four, red heat. What do you think I look like, Dirty Harry Judgment Day. Four, Red Heat.

What do you think I look like, Dirty Harry? I got it down to two. I will take your first one. I've seen tons of Kindergarten Cop. What are your guesses? It's not Kindergarten Cop. It's not Terminator. So the question is...

Red Heat, Raw Deal. I don't think I've seen either one of those movies. And Red Heat, I think that's the one that's got Belushi in it. Those are two of the... I don't know. I don't know where it is. I know one of them.

He's got a huge.44 mag. Kyle would have been right. Raw Deal. It was one of his two. Do not disturb my friend. He's tired. And it is commando. Last one. Hasta la vista, baby.

T2. Joe's got it. All right. Kyle, I guess you're the next reader. Let's see here. I don't want to choose the category. Bloodbath. That the category bloodbath every single one of them i can't believe there wasn't any uh any uh let's do it from tv is

anyone else down for tv sure anything not 80s tv because that's not fair. Okay, television. Let's see here. So here are a few subcategories. There's The Simpsons. Match the character to the show. Match the Simpsons character... Oh, I can't do the voices. Sitcom quiz number one. So it's all sitcoms. Okay, so those are your choices.

Sitcoms, The Simpsons, or just general TV? General TV. Okay. This is supposedly easy. The Simpsons or just General TV? General TV. Okay. This is supposedly easy. Where did the Walsh family live before they moved to Beverly Hills 90210? Tennessee. I didn't click get answers first.

They lived in A, Buffalo, B, Boston, C, Minnesota, or D, Milwaukee. Oh, negative one for me. Indeed. The answer was Minnesota. The show Ed takes place in Stuckyville. Where in Stuckyville is Ed Stevens' law practice? Are you shitting me?

That's the question? This is easy. Is it on Main Street? No, it wasn't. It was very difficult. All right, hang on, hang on. I'm going to change. I'm going to change categories.

That is hard. Are we starting over? I think we should. Those are very difficult. They don't get any easier. Simpsons. We're going to the Simpsons. All right.

In the episode where Homer becomes a missionary, missionary impossible, he opens a casino. What was it called? A, Survivor Land, B, The Lucky Savage, C, The Winning Crab, or D, Tets.

A, Survivor Land, B, The Lucky Savage. Regal Lucky Savage? Point to Joe Lozon. Did you read the last two again? Sorry, B, The Lucky Savage. Lucky Savage? Point to Joe Lozon. Did you read the last two again? Sorry, you cut out for me. Oh, Joe already got it. I apologize. In the episode where Germans

are planning to buy the nuclear plant, where does Homer see himself in his daydream? The land of chocolate, the land of beer, the land of pretzels, or the land of schnitzel? The land of beer, the land of pretzels, or the land of schnitzel? The land of beer. False. Chocolate. It's the land of chocolate.

Joe Lozon moves up to a two-point lead. I do not deduct a point from Murka, because he was just a little too late. In the episode where Ned loses his house in a hurricane, he says he has done everything the Bible told him to, even

was it A, the stuff that contradicts the other stuff, B, rescuing two of every animal, C, refraining from relations with other men, or D, the sacrifices. The stuff that contradicts the other stuff.

Woody got in first. Back up to zero, baby. That's right. So what are the current scores? I believe Joe has two, Woody has zero, and Taylor has... Also zero. One. Or zero. I thought he had only guessed correctly

after someone else. What's the secret ingredient of a flaming moe is it pickle juice children's cough syrup rubbing alcohol or blood children's cough syrup there you go

there's your point in the second Halloween episode how do Kang and Kodos predict the human race will destroy themselves is it too many cheese doodles tasers with a really big board with a really big dose predict the human race will destroy themselves? Is it too many cheese doodles? Tasers with a really big board with a really big nail in it?

A really big board with a really big nail. Joe got that one already. I think Taylor's at a natural latency disadvantage. He's getting a lot. I feel like I'm getting these right. You are. I love them. I feel like I'm getting these right. You are.

I love them. He exists three seconds behind the rest of us. And the winner is Joe Lozon's internet connection. In the episode where the Simpsons end up on a cargo train telling stories, the hobo they meet says he's not what? A urinating ho, a grifting hobo, a deviant hobo, or a stabbing hobo?

He says he's not a stabbing hobo. I remember that too. It is a stabbing hobo. Joe's got what, four now? Yeah, something like that. Joe has pulled ahead, I believe. In the episode where the six go to a magic-themed restaurant, Ned lists the black arts as magic, fortune-telling,

and was it rock and roll, gambling, science, or oriental cooking? Which of those did he consider one of the black arts? Could be any of them. Is it rock and roll, gambling, science, or oriental cooking? Ned Flanders. It was oriental cooking. I would have guessed that. What is the slogan on Mayor Quimby's seal?

Is it corruptus in extremis? Dewey cheatum in how? Peas monus now? Tack it allet for me? Take it all for me. Can you read those again? Corruptus in extremis? Do we cheat him and how?

Pay us monies now? Take a lot for me. Take all for... Take it all for me. Okay, let's take it all for me. Which one of those? Corruptus and Extremis, do we cheat on how? Pay us monies now, or...

A. Correct. You get a point. I believe you have two now. Yes! Maybe three. In the episode where Lisa dates Ralph, radio station KBBL plays what song in honor of President's Day?

Was it Winter Wonderland, Monster Mash, Auld Lang Syne, or Happy Birthday? What was the third one you said? Auld Lang Syne? I don't know. I'm not guessing, but I swear it's Monster Mash. Don't even say anything. It was Monster Mash. Yeah.

I wasn't sure, though. In the episode where Bart gets caught shoplifting, Detective Brodka says if he wanted smoke blown up his butt, he'd be where? On his chimney? At a barbecue? At home with cigarettes and a short length of hose? Or at the Republican National Convention?

C. Correct. At home with cigarettes and a short length of hose. Another point for Joe. Strengthens his lead. In the episode where Apu lives with the Simpsons, Kent Brockman refers to an expose on nursing homes called what?

The toothless redemption, geezers and freezers, wheelchairs from hell, or the old and the restless? Old and the restless. Toothless redemption. And, and. Rawr. Theothless Redemption. And... The remaining answers are

geezers and tweezers or wheelchairs from hell. I don't answer from hell. You pretty much won. Right? You pretty much won already. Okay, I'm going to skip this one. In the episode where Homer goes into space,

Barney is run over by a truck filled with what? Feathers, marshmallows, cotton, or steel? Marshmallows. In the song, See My Vest, from the episode Two Dozen and One Greyhounds, which of the following does Mr. Burns not say he has clothes made from? Is it a gorilla chest, a vampire bat, an albino African endangered rhino, or a bald eagle?

Which of those does he not say he has clothes made from? A gorilla chest, a vampire bat, an albino African endangered rhino, or a bald eagle? Which one does he not have clothes made from? I'm going with vampire. Incorrect. It's a bald eagle then. The answer was bald eagle. When Homer tries to become obese

so he doesn't have to go to work anymore, what does he eat to gain the last pounds he needs? Was it a donut made of clay? Point! It was a donut. You're right. It was a donut made of clay.

What is Homer's favorite song from Moe's Jukebox? It's Raining Men, In the Navy, My Heart Will Go On, from the Titanic, or The Electric Slide. I remember this one. Electric Slide. Nope.

It's Raining Men, so Joe Lozon wins by a landslide. I'm just trying, can't get beat. Something like 5 or 6 to like 2 or 3 on Woody's part and i think woody uh taylor was down there with two or three as well i think i might have been negative and taylor had two or three but yeah joe won sweet would you like to do another round so everybody excellent job joe i would like to do what i will wait now jo Joe has to read. What topics can I pick?

I haven't gotten to pick a topic yet. Can we do movies again? Sure. But just a different movies subcategory? What subcategory? 80s movie quiz, 2000s movies. 2000 movies. Okay.

So you have to click on the thing and then scroll down to the bottom and click on get answers, the button. Do I have to choose for all the things yet? Nope, just scroll to the bottom and click the button. Okay. Okay. We're no longer called Sonic Death Monkey.

We're on the verge of becoming Kathleen Turner Overdrive. But just for thought, we are Barry Jive and his Uptown Five. I don't even know what that question is. Is that a question or are you just saying things? We're going to pick a movie. I'm going to say a line and it's from a movie. You have to tell me what it's from. Okay.

I'll start again. We're no longer called Sonic Death Monkey. We're on the verge of becoming Kathleen Turner Overdrive. But just was thought, we are Barry Jive and it is up down five. What are the options? Almost Famous, Date Movie, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back,

or High Fidelity? Almost Famous. Wrong. High Fidelity. High Fidelity. High Fidelity. Kyle gets a point um gosh

this is one that someone's thinking says uh I need to get some more pot I'm running out then I need to get laid where the fuck was Lauren tonight that liar girl was kind of hot I could bang her and feel good about it, but I'd rather have Lauren. I wonder why. I just ruined my illusion of her purity.

Whoa. Is that really what I have? Or what I want? I need to get laid. They need to get more pot. The choices are Jay and Silent Bob strike back, Rules of Attraction, Jersey Girl, and 40 Days and 40 Nights.

Jay and Silent Bob start back. Join me in negative one. What were the other ones then? Rules of attraction Jersey Girl and 40 Days and 40 Nights. It's 40 Days

and 40 Nights. I didn't mean to say it god damn it so ruthless woody woody your choices are rules of attraction and jersey girl definitely jersey girl woody go for it what i meant to say was i've never seen 40 days and 40 nights can you say? The cold, yeah. Something about need to get laid. Jersey girl or what? Rules of attraction. I'm going to go rules of attraction.

Ding, ding, ding. Yeah, I'm back at zero. Never heard someone so happy to be at zero. Low standards make you happy. So this one, someone's reading. They've taken the bridge in the second hall. We have barred the gates, but cannot hold them for long. Lord of the Rings.

Lord of the Rings. Marker though. Marker. They are coming. There's two characters. Character one says, do we come all the way to Europe to smoke pot? And character two says, hey, I came all the way from Iceland. Euro trip.

Eh. The choices are Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Not Another Teen Movie, Hostel, or Stealing Harvard. Hostel. Hostel is correct. Yeah, I knew it was Hostel too. Yeah.

You guys are pros. The best. I'm sure you can make it out of the casino. Of course. Lest we forget. Once you're at the front door, you're still in the middle of a fucking desert. Ocean's 11. Or 12.

Or 13. Ocean's 11. We'll give you credit. Yes. I'm not killing people. My future's in television. And the choices are Confessions of a Dangerous Mind,

Adaptation, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. Correct. What's the score? Marker's got like three. That's a really good movie. You have one. Kyle's a negative one.

Yep. I haven't seen a bunch of these I am a golden god it's always sunny in Philadelphia right? that sounds like it choices are almost famous American Beauty, High Fidelity and Garden State

I am a golden god. They make a joke about that in Sunny, too, don't they, Kyle? Yeah, he refers to himself as a golden god. I am a golden god. Yeah. I don't know. Out of time. Answer was Almost Famous. Okay.

I find you very attractive. Your serenity tells me you feel the same way about me. But ritual remains that we must do a series of platonic actions before we can have intercourse. What I really want to do is have sex with you as soon as possible. The choices are

The Aviator, Cinderella Man, Catch Me If You Can, and A Beautiful Mind. A Beautiful Mind. I've never seen it, but it's great. Is that A Beautiful Mind? Was that it? I haven't seen it,

but I've seen the others. Kyle's back up to zero. Kyle's at zero. All you've got to do is use your instincts. How do you think a lion knows to tackle a gazelle? It's written. It's a code written in the DNA. It says tackle the gazelle.

I know this. I know this. It says tackle drunk bitches. Yeah, yeah. Choices. Be cool. The 40-year-old virgin. 40-year-old virgin.

Correct. Let's play for Kyle. 1-1-3. 1-1-3 1-1-3 the young ones make great pets just make sure you kill them before they mature believe me the last thing you want is a human teenager running around your house choices are

King Kong Sin City Planet of the Apes correct 1-2-3 Choices are King Kong, Sin City, Planet of the Apes. Planet of the Apes. Correct. One, two, three. Taylor has three. 5,000 of my men are out there in the freezing mud.

3,000 of them are bloodied and cleaved. 2,000 will never leave this place. I will not believe they fought back for nothing. Fucking Gladiator. They're out on the fucking barbarian gladiator is correct that's the best movie ever I didn't hear it

oh fuck god damn it coming back it was all just through the question and then I heard Kyle go gladiator how do you live in New York and not have a single Percocet? All she's got is NyQuil and

fucking Midol Choices are one hour photo insomnia don't say a word and panic room I gotta narrow it down to when you guys take the guess panic room correct 3-3-2 right? sure when you guys take the gas and panic room correct

all right three three two right sure so character one says should I fix you some sandwiches character two says I don't want any fucking sandwiches what is it with you and fixing fucking sandwiches bad Santa don't give a fuck

okay four three two sandwiches. Bad Santa! Billy Bob Thornton don't give a fuck! Billy Bob Thornton's so awesome. Ah, correct. 4-3-2. And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man, there was some strong gases seekin' out of my butt that day. Choices are Monsters, Inc., Shrek, The Incredibles,

Finding Nemo. Correct. Did the donkey say that? I want that to be my new ringtone. Someone set that up. Joe Lozon talking about it. What's the score? 4-3-3.

Last question. Ding, ding, ding. He fell in the cab. He fell from up there on the motherfucking cab. Ding, ding, ding. Okay. He, he, he fell in the cab. He fell. He fell from up there on the motherfucking cab. Shit, I think he's dead. Choices are Manor Fire, Collateral, Ocean's Eleven. Collateral.

That's Jamie Foxx and fucking Tom. Collateral is correct. Threw that fucker on that cab. Kyle, you win. Collateral is correct. Yay. All right you win. Yay. I like trivia. So Kyle won two, Joe won one, I won one,

and thank you for playing, Taylor. You get a participation award. Zero. In fairness, your internet has you somewhat delayed. That's the best response you could have ever given. All broken up and garbled. This is difficult. Cult?

You say? Cult? Yeah. Well, that was a good idea for a topic. I would like to bring back the spelling bee. I want to challenge someone. Oh, I'll do the spelling bee. White Boy's the fucking champion somehow i

don't know how that happened how the fuck did we let white boy be our spelling bee champion he beat only use me blade somehow he just spelled like because correctly right yeah and like that was all it took in our defense i'm pretty sure that we didn't take part in the spelling bee we held it and that he defeated only use me blade and there's another thing too it was in the audio only days back before you could see if somebody was cheating now it'd be like all right hands in the air spelling bee but a d yeah yeah right i can beat all of you if I google here let's get a little spelling bee going then I bet there's a website

let's do this hey I haven't got to read questions yet do you mind if I pick some difficult words and give them to you guys that's a terrible idea how about you pick some medium words at best here you go medium to difficult here I'm sending you a list of words and then i closed

it right out um so i didn't even look at what the words were i saw the first word was abscess but i already don't know how to spell it neither do i all right hands up well we'll wait for the thing um there it is alright hands Kyle I was just closing every ok alright now do we buzz if we want the word or are you going to go in sequence Joe, Kyle and me

go in sequence I think yeah let's do it oh so I should give a different word to each one of you yes ok well then sequence, I think. Yeah, let's do it. Oh, so I should give a different word to each one of you. Yes. Right. Okay. Well, then let's start with our guest, Joe. Actually, can I just break in? Alright.

I think the way it should work is that Joe should be offered the question, but if he fails to spell the word, then one of us should be given the opportunity to steal the point. That's a good idea. I'm fine with those rules. But only if he defers or misspells. And then

you and we'll... yeah. Yeah. Alright, we'll start with some easier ones and then work our way up. Alright. Joe, your word is bizarre. In a sentence, ISIS likes to buy goat meat at the bazaar

um bazaar b-a-z-a-a-r bazaar correct that is one point for Mr. Lozon I don't like the long delay and cut

the lag makes it like a TV show where they make you sweat it for a moment. Alright, Kyle? Yes. Your word is diocese. The bishop runs a diocese for raping children. D-I-A...

I'll let you try again. No. Diocese for raping children. D-I-A... I'll let you try again. The diocese... Ah, shit. Many children are molested in the bishop's diocese. I want to steal.

Is it... D-I-A? I want to steal, too. S-C-E-S? You know what? That is incorrect, so Woody gets a chance to steal. D-I-O-C-E-S? I want to steal from Woody because he forgot the E at the end.

That is correct. Joe wins that one. Woody forgot the E at the end. Well, shucks. I didn't forget about it. I never knew it in the first place. It's a little different. I didn't forget. I never knew.

Alright, so that is two points. And so because... Do we go back to Kyle? Because you both got a shot? I guess me. I never got a chance to defer. Yeah. Okay. Alright, Woody.

Your word is furlough. Someone took a furlough because they had a baby. I want to steal if he fucks it up. Right? Same here. It seems like an incredibly easy word. F-U-R-L-O-W. That is phenomenally incorrect.

And it goes to Joe. F-U-R-L-O-E. Trello. That is also incorrect. Kyle, would you like a chance to steal? F-U-R-L-O-U-G-H? Oh, that is a point for Kyle. That was my second choice.

Kyle is not taking a furlough from gaining points in this game. So I think it's 2-1-0. Kyle, or Joe, Kyle, Woody. Yeah. Alright. Back to me. Alright, and Back to me. All right. And back to Joe.

Let's see what we got here. It's a simple one, but I'm wondering how you'll handle it. Hippopotamus. Hippopotamuses are big dumb animals. You sound like a robot, but hippopotamus is H-I-P-P-O P-O-T-A-M-U-S. Excellent, Joe.

Wonderful job. God! I really thought the punches to the head would help me more than they have. Fresh from it. He's still sharp. He still has a black eye. He's winning the freaking spelling bee.

Alright, Kyle. God, a lot of these are just fucking easy. I think it's 310 at this point. It is 310 because he's stolen too. Kyle, your word is paraffin. It is used in candles. A kind of wax.

Paraffin. Paraffin. I'll steal paraffin. Oh, this is hard. P-A-R-O? No. No.

P-A-R-A-P-H-E-N. I don't know. That's gotta be wrong. P-A-R-A-F-I-N. Both of you are wrong. Fuck. Joe's gonna... P-A-R-A-P-H-I-G-N. Paraffin.

No, none of you guys got it right. Fuck. It is P-A-R-A-F-F-I-N. Paraffinwax. That's ridiculous. The good part about getting everyone wrong... You gave me a word with double F? I bet no one out there thinks I'm cheating.

That's why I got that. Why would they? Alright. Now it goes to Woody now. Alright, here's my chance. Woody, your goes to Woody now. All right. Here's my chance. Easy. Woody, your word is limousine. Ooh.

I rode to a limousine. I want to steal. He gets it wrong. I'm going to, too. Why do I think I'm going to get this wrong? So, it's L-I-M-O-Z-I-N-E. That's not even close. Not even a little.

Limo-zine? What the fuck am I missing? L-I-M-O-U-S-I-N-E. God damn it. Ding, ding, ding, ding. All right, point for Joe. Fuck. There are no Zs in the word limo.

Not a one. There are no Z's in the word. Not a one. Not a single Z. As a child, they asked me what my worst subject was, and I wrote down spilling. Alright, now getting into some tougher ones. Who is up right now? Really? Kyle?

I think it's Joe. He is up right now? Really? Kyle? I think I'm up. I think it's Joe. He just stole from me, right? Yeah, so it is Joe then, right? Yeah. Okay, so then we'll start off a little harder. Your word, Joe, is diphtheria. I got diphtheria when I licked

a dirty tile at a restaurant. I want to steal if he doesn't get it. Can you give it to me in a legit sentence? Not just one you pull out of your ass. You guys are sounding like robots, but you want diphtheria used in a sentence?

Yes, in proper context. I'm here. I heard a yes. Yes. Here, I'll do it for you. I'm not a robot. Diphtheria is an acute infection caused by the bacteria Corneobacterium diphtheria. I won't caused by the bacteria corneobacterium diphtheria

i won't uh join in since i obviously just cheated d-y-p-t-h-e-r-i-a god damn it uh can you spell it again a little slower d-y-p-t-h-e-r-i-a diphtheria no no oh that is incorrect is it d-R-I-A. Diphtheria. No. No. Oh. That is incorrect. Is it D-Y-P-T-T-H-E-R-I-A? It's got to be D-I-P. Even more incorrect. I thought it was D-Y-P. With it in front of me, I feel like I could have stolen it,

but obviously it's right in front of me. How do you spell it? D-I-P-H-T... D-I-P-T-H-E-R-I-A. I wasn't sure if it was D-I or D-Y. I thought it was D-Y as well. And so when you got it wrong, I couldn't figure it out. Damn it.

Now it's Kyle's turn, right? What is the count? It's like 3-1-0 or something. That sounds right. I've been getting shat on the whole time by these ridiculous words. It's your turn now. Your advantage.

He gave him hippopotamus. I can't spell hippopotamus either. Give me Mississippi. Did we lose Mirka? The tension builds. Can you guys hear me? Yeah. We hear you.

Oh, fuck yeah. Oh, thank God. All right. Well, I didn't hear if anybody spelled diphtheria right, so I'll just move on to the next one. Nobody did. Nobody did. Nobody did.

It's because that H, that first H, it's a bitch. All right. So next person, your word is ecstasy. That first H. It's a bitch. Alright. So, uh... Next person, your word is ecstasy. I took a lot of ecstasy and then experimented with bisexual relations. I want to steal it. You fucked it up.

I think I'm gonna fuck it up. I don't think it's ecstasy. It's ecstasy. Could you pronounce the word again? Ecstasy. I was in ecst's X-tussy. It's X-tussy. Could you pronounce the word again? Ecstasy. I was in ecstasy after I took some ecstasy. Is it E-X-T-A-C-Y? No, it's not.

No, it's not. It's E-X-S. Yeah, that's terrible. All right, so you said E-X-T-A-S-C-Y. That was your guess, Kyle? Well, I'd love to take another. Well, Woody, what do you got? E-X-T-A-C-Y.

Nope, incorrect. That's what I just said. Joe? You said S-Y. I don't think it's an X. Isn't it E-C-T-A-S-Y? That is incorrect as well, but you have the right idea. That's even worse. T-A-S-Y? That is incorrect as well, but you have the right idea. That's everyone.

I meant to say what Joe said. Are we given another chance? So it is E-C-S-T-A-S-Y. That's how I said it. No, you didn't put the... I didn't get you in the second C. The second letter is a C. I didn't hear you say that. C. The second letter is a C. I didn't hear you say that.

Yes, the second letter is a C. E-C-S-T-A-S-Y. So Joe had it except for the first S. T-S-Y. Oh, okay. We'll rewatch the tape. All right. Who doesn't have any points yet?

I'll throw you an easy one. Me! Kyle, are you struggling? Oh, it's Woody? All right. Who doesn't have any points yet? I'll throw you an easy one. Me. Kyle, are you struggling? Oh, it's Woody? It's my turn, and I have no points. All right. Woody, your word is geisha, or geisha,

a Japanese woman who will have sex with you with silly makeup on. I want to steal it. Fuck. This is easy to you? A geisha, I want to steal it. Fuck. This is easy to you? A geisha, I think is how it's pronounced. And fuck. A geisha. I don't know. G-E-S-H-I-A?

Eh. Nope. Missing some key. We're missing a vowel. Joe, you want to take a whack at it? Geisha. G-E-I-S-H-A. Boom.

All those shots to the head do not keep you from spelling a Japanese prostitute. That's a point for Joe. Fuck. That was good. So now it goes to... I guess now it goes to Joe a Japanese prostitute. That's a point for Joe. Fuck. Ah, that was good. So now it goes to, or I guess now it goes to Joe, because

he stole from Woody. Yep. Jesus. Joe is a good speller. This is good for my confidence. Glad I could help. Let's do 80s movies again. Yeah, right? Let's go to Arnold Schwarzenegger films. John Claude, damn. Alright, we gotta give Joe a difficult one.

Because he's doing so well. Hyacinth. It's a member of the lily family, a type of flower. Hyacinth. I'll steal if he fails. You will. Hyacinth. I'll steal if he fails. You will. Hyacinth? Is that what it is?

Hyacinth. H-E-I-A-S-Y-N-T-H. Hyacinth. Ooh, just go six letters back, and that's where you started messing up. H-Y-A-S-I-N-T-H-E. Hyacinth? Very close, Kyle. I won't waste your time. H-Y-E-S-I-N-T-H-E?

What the fuck? No, it's H-Y-A-C-I-N-T-H-E? The fuck? No, it's H-Y-A-C-I-N-T-H. So you change the C to an S and then put an E on there. That's a tough one. That was very close, though. Yeah. Well, I think that we have about drilled this into the ground. Do we have another topic we want to move to?

I guess so. I'll just stop the pain. So, four Orange County Florida hunters were found drunk and passed out along with four dead deer and a bright yellow Mini Cooper over the weekend. I have the story right here. I'll link you guys so you can see some of the pictures

and stuff. Please. What is it with Florida men? Well, Florida is sort of a scumbag repository, if you will. Alicia Diggs told Fox 19 that she heard just

two loud booms around 3 a.m. and called the police. When authorities arrived, they found four adult males and four dead deer squeezed into the tiny car. I would have personally probably picked a truck rather than a two-door Mini Cooper with four guys in it, Diggs

added. That is crazy, said neighbor John Block. My first thought was it must have been a stretch Mini Cooper because there's no way it was just a Mini Cooper, but it was not. However, a stretch Mini Cooper, but it was not. However, a Stretch Mini Cooper, but this is terribly written.

Like, it's difficult to even read. It was not, however, a Stretch Mini Cooper, but a normal-sized one that four drunken men had piled into during their out-of-season illegal deer hunt. Is this okay? You mind me reading? Go right ahead. Two of the men were arrested while police did not release... I'm sorry, it is hard. Two of the men were arrested while police did not release the charges on which they were being held.

They did say that marijuana was found in the vehicle. The car apparently stalled while the driver successfully attempted to run down, then run over a fleeing buck. The men claimed that they had been drinking the previous evening and then decided to embark on the illegal deer hunt. Wow. So four men and how many? And four dead deer squeezed into a... That's not possible. Yeah.

No way. That's like a clown car thing going on here. They must have been... How little were these deer? going on here. How little were these deer? They showed bloody shotgun shells and stuff in the little video that was attached.

That's pretty great. They're in a lot of trouble. They'll lose the Mini Cooper because of that. Oh, God, not the Mini. Anything but that. I'll take all this shit. Not the Mini Cooper. Four adult men and four deer.

But how did they get... Who stumbled upon them and had to turn them in? Were they just sitting there in a parking lot? What have we done? Or were they all passed out in there? Well, they shot the deer. Yes, but they were all four passed out at the same time in this Mini Cooper. I think the car was in the gas or something.

Did they announce what killed them? Because I see that as a ridiculous situation, but I don't see how being ridiculous and stuffing a car is deadly for everyone. Oh, they shot the deer. Well, okay, I get why the deer died. They shot and ran over apparently some of the deer. Yes. But why did the people die? Did they all take

a nap in there with the dead deer? They didn't die. No, the people aren't dead. They were passed out. Oh, I see. So the people were just sleeping in there with a bunch of dead deer. Yeah, they were passed out drunk. And they were found and that's that. How drunk do you have to be

to be in the back of a Mini Cooper near three dead animals and think, I'll just sleep. Or four dead animals, I'm sorry. Four dead deer, not squirrels. Like, you just sit there, wake up from your drunken stupor, see a dead deer face looking you right in the maw, and just say, I'll just keep sleeping. I may as well sleep in.

That's awesome. Florida is a really scary place. There's a lot of reasons, I think, that contribute to. Florida's a really scary place. There's a lot of reasons I think that contribute to Florida being such a sketchy place. It seems like a lot of groups kind of go there and I don't know, it's kind of like the try again state and there's a lot of, especially if you stay around the coast, it seems like it's not as

bad, but when you get into like central and northern Florida especially, like there's some rough people there. It's really just a deadly amalgamation of old people and convicts. Did you know that Bruce Jenner is becoming a woman?

Yeah, he's been making a transition for a while. It's really horrifying to watch. If you're going to make a transition you've got to wait until the testosterone makes your hands look like this, okay? Like, you don't wait until you're 65 years old until you decide that you're going to be a lady with little delicate hands. It's over, Bruce.

Like, you're never going to – he looks rough. I've seen a lot of – I've seen him in the tabloids, like, you know, on the shelves at grocery stores. Do you guys want to look at pictures together? Of course. I absolutely do. All right. Of course course this this starts at picture two which i think is the first one oh all right so there's bruce we're keeping up with his transformation here because you know this is pressing news we got so he is now a male to female transsexual yes i think so let's click right there in the arrow to picture three there he is checking

himself out in the mirror I think he's wearing lipstick I'm not sure picture for that that is somewhere between a guy and a girl right there yeah yeah it's definitely got long flowing straightened hair good god with that forehead, he grew his hair out. 65-year-old. Picture five?

Wow, look at that. Getting there. Yeah, I mean, I think she's a woman in this picture. I mean, I wouldn't picture him as a decathlete gold medal winner. I've got a... Picture six? We've got picture six, the fingernails. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh. And the cigarette. Is that a Virginia Slim? Huh? I think I'm more of a light 100. I'm guessing, though. He celebrated his 65th birthday by getting a red manicure.

There you go. Picture seven. Those are boobs, right? Yeah, I think so. So I get how Bruce Jenner looks. Who is that next to her? Yeah, but what is going on next to Bruce Jenner? They are at a plastic surgeon's office.

He looks like the guy that would motivate her to dance in a movie when she didn't think she was attractive enough. Where he'd be like, you gotta get out there. You gotta put yourself on the line. You'll never know until you try. And then has to get her to try to be a dancer. I really feel like Bruce Jenner's going under some pretty extreme emotional distress as I look at these pictures.

If you go to 8, you can see what he looks like without his Adam's apple. They do that. as I look at these pictures. If you go to 8, you can see what he looks like without his Adam's apple. Hmm. They do that? The picture where he was standing next to that ghoulish-looking man, that was outside his plastic surgeon's office. Oh, so he had his Adam's apple shaved down or something?

Yeah, he's got breast implants, too. He's undergoing a transformation. If you go to 9, you can see his hair is even longer. I always thought this was a joke about Bruce Jenner being like transferring a woman. I didn't think it was legit. If you go to 10, you can see what he used to look like. Very good looking, handsome dude. 1985.

Gold medalist. Go to 11, it's him wearing I don't know, dressed like a cheerleader quite frankly. It was the 80s, let's not judge. It's the 80s. There he is as an Olympian at 12. I thought there was going to be more of the transformation. Oh well.

Yeah, I always thought this was a joke too. I had no idea he was... It started it. I thought we were going to look at these pictures and just sort of giggle at the change, but I feel like the emotional distress was coming through those pics. Like, it's not a joke.

He's pretty legit. Yeah. No, I wish him the best. Like, if you feel like you're in a different body, go for it. Right. Do what you want to do. I did not realize it was that drastic.

He looks like he's really becoming a woman, especially looking at this black and white picture where he's looking around with his eyebrows furrowed, holding the tennis racket. That's a masculine looking face right there, transformed into this. Surprising. Yeah,

that's not going to end well. I don't think he's going to end up... He's too old to start. He's too old. It's just not going to end well. The finished product of that cannot be... Is Joe in trouble?

Transform into a woman? I don't know why you'd want to transform into a woman at the worst't know why you'd want to transform into a woman at the worst part of the life cycle for women. You should have got on that right in the beginning. Yeah, when he was an Olympian, I bet he had

a big booty and everything. He probably could have made that transition well once they fixed his super manly-like face. I feel like he was in shape. Yeah, exactly exactly he could have done that with spades yeah but but now that he's 65 like he's a rough looking guy like he's not gonna be a good looking 65 year old woman like there's only who's good looking at 65 anyway there's like three like yeah right nobody world yeah let's let it go half the 65

year old women look like men anyway start growing beards mustaches oh yeah that lady at Walmart you start to notice when you look at them in the sunlight and you see those extraordinarily long white fuzzy hairs coming off the neck very unappealing

that's one of the things I like about the Game of Thrones audiobooks is that you get to find out that Stannis Baratheon's wife his real wife has a mustache I got a new topic it's a mustache I want to talk about Joey Joe's son who beat cancer

let's talk about it how's he doing now what's new he's really good right now he's actually teething right now so that's what Katie came down uh he's really good right now he's uh he's actually teething right now so that's what katie came down about he's like miserable right now but normal baby stuff is not a big deal now his hearing did you tell me it was mild loss in one ear and moderate in the other um so that's what that's what they they he tested at for the first time uh and we actually go for we have another hearing test tomorrow to find out because we're not sure. It's either he has shitty hearing aids or his hearing loss is a little different than what they're programmed for. So we're not quite sure.

How do they test a baby's hearing that doesn't talk yet? Very poorly. So basically they put some earphones in his ears, and they attach something to his head. Is it a headset like you're wearing? Yep. It'll go inside the ears, though. Okay. It'll go inside his ears.

And then they attach some type of sensor to his head, and it can detect brain activity. So they sedate him, and they put him to sleep. Oh. And when his ears sense something, there should be some kind of brain activity, and they'll sense it, and they'll be like, okay, he could hear that tone or that pitch or whatever.

Colin's had that. And I don't know how good it is, but the doctors seemed really confident that it works. They seemed pretty confident for us about it too, but at the same time, they're saying his hearing's not that bad, but he's not really responding that well. So it could be that he just has shitty hearing aids, maybe, At the same time, they're saying his hearing is not that bad, but he's not really responding that well.

So it could be that he just has shitty hearing aids, maybe. But they told us not to buy hearing aids for his first set, just because there's a loaner program where you pay something like $800 for the first year, and you get hearing aids for the first year. They're supposed to be pretty good, but not the best ones. $800 for the first year and you get hearing aids for the first year that are supposed to be pretty good but not the best ones. It's coming up in the next month or two

we'll have to actually buy him hearing aids. And then what? You'll be buying new hearing aids every two years or something? Well, it depends on how... I'm not sure exactly how long they last. I know insurance covers like $8,000 or $2,000 per year, like every four years or something like that.

So I think we get $8,000 each time, something. So I don't know. But I'll make sure we end up getting him really good hearing aids. Even if they go out of pocket, I'll make sure he gets good hearing aids. It's just that usually for especially little kids, you get good hearing aids. The quality of them just makes them be smaller, aids. It's just that usually for, especially little kids, you get good hearing aids, it's the quality of them just makes them be smaller. And we don't want them to have small hearing aids because you'll swallow them.

Ah, that makes sense. Say that last part again. You don't want them to have... We don't want them to have really small hearing aids right now because you'll swallow them. Oh, okay. The more expensive ones are smaller. Because a lot of times if one of us need hearing aids, we get really small ones that

you wouldn't even be able to see. It wouldn't even go on the back of the ear. They wouldn't be 100% inside your ear. But for him, that would be really, really bad because he'll swallow them. We've already been in the hospital once because we thought he swallowed a battery. Oh, wow. For people that don't know, how old is your baby? Just turned 13 months.

Turned a year. All right. Is his baby just over a year old when the baby was i'll make this up like three five days old they found out he had cancer does that sound about right yep five days five days and um and then he beat cancer but as a result of the chemo the only like lingering thing is that he has hearing loss described as mild to moderate and moderate sounds like no big deal but it actually is a big deal it's really bad yeah lingering thing is that he has hearing loss described as mild to moderate. And moderate sounds like no big deal, but it actually is. It's really bad.

Moderate hearing loss is close to no hearing. Am I right? Pretty much. Profound is like it would be really tough. If you had moderate hearing loss, you couldn't really function as a person. You would feel pretty lost. And they're saying moderate in one ear and mild in the

other. Yep. But with hearing aids, he should improve one level in each. So his mild will go to normal and his moderate will go to mild. And mild is really not that big of a deal. The moderate is really, really bad. Okay. And it basically comes down to, he hears, but it comes down to

the frequency. It's like certain sounds he doesn't hear. So it's like S sounds are really high-pitched, and that's where he has a lot of trouble. So instead of hearing something, if someone said their name is Steve, he would hear it as, oh, my name is Teave. He would not hear the S at all. Instead of stop, it would be top.

But he still hears other stuff. But after a little while, you said, so that'll get better as the moderate becomes mild and the mild becomes normal no with hearing aids that'll get better his hearing will never get better but he'll be able to hear at like a higher level

with his hearing aids so his hearing will have to get better but the hearing aids should bump him up a level on each gotcha do you have plans for baby number two but with the hearing aid, it should bump him up a level on each. Gotcha. When's, do you got plans for baby number two?

Not, so originally I wanted like an army. And now I've got like one, like really, really attentive baby. So I don't know. So we might do another one, but we're going to hold off for at least a little bit right now. What do you mean attentive?

You mean he's a high effort baby? Yeah. I mean, just he's going to, I mean, he's going to, I mean, he's going to be a special needs kid. I mean, he's going to have hearing issues, if nothing else. He's always going to have lots of doctor's appointments, come to the Jimmy Fund.

You know what I mean? So he's definitely going to – you would like to hope for this super happy, completely healthy baby. But he's going to take a little extra attention. Yeah, we were in the same boat. We were going to have a kid after Colin and then two things happened. One, he turned out to be a boy.

So when we had the matching set, I didn't feel as obligated to keep going. And two, he turned out to be a special needs kid. The matching set. Yeah. Yeah. And then,

uh, it was like, all right, we've got both now, you know, all the others are just bonus. And, uh,

and then he turned out to be a special needs kid. And we were like, ah, maybe we should just stop here not divide our attention further yep you know so that's kind of how we feel like it if and I I would think that you know if you had Colin first you might not have gone for a second I yeah who knows you know what I mean it's just it's tough you know just because it me it is gonna take extra you just gonna be realistic it is gonna be extra effort it is gonna be. It is going to take a little more attention. Not that you get this choice, but in some ways, anyway, hope even helps.

Because she's four years older, she's an available babysitter. If, for example, we were the only three people home, then she'd be able to watch Colin and keep him away while I'm busy and stuff like that. But it's not as if you can insert another one in front of Joey. Yeah. And we might still. Because we have this whole thing of like, oh, you don't want him to be alone. You want him to have siblings.

And the whole thing is like you can pick your friends. You can't pick your family. He has a sibling he doesn't like. So I don't know. We'll see. Yeah, I don't know yeah i don't know you see it's it's funny because uh see some kids are just hardwired to get along my kids get along and i like to think that it's because of outstanding leadership and like oh just be awesome and you know everything will be great

yeah but um i it might just be that i got lucky and you know the kids get along so better be lucky than good sometimes yeah yeah so um I'm trying to oh I had a topic this will work while Kyle's gone I don't know how much you can talk about it but have you have you seen of course you've seen there was a fourth Klax action lawsuit filed against the UFC today yep I I I did hear about it uh You're talking about the Rudiger and Danzig one, right? That's right. Yeah, Danzig and Rudiger. Both guys you fought, by the way. Yep. Yeah.

Both guys you beat, by the way. I did. I don't really know exactly what's going on. It's kind of – so they're like – at one point they were like really good friends. So I don't know. I know they weren't very good friends as time went on,

but at one point, they lived together. Those two, yeah. They're in a class action suit against the UFC for low pay. I think that's what the deal is, yeah. Gabe doesn't have anything to stand on because he did very poorly. He went on the show. He did not do very well, everything about that. There's a lot of things like that hurting

Gabe. The thing that's hurting Danzig on this is the fact that he very recently, back a couple months ago, was basically arguing against Cody McKenzie. Cody McKenzie fought in the UFC, did terrible, did not do very well. His record was I don't know, I want to say maybe

3-6 or something like that. He was also super unprofessional, right? Like he'd show up in basketball shorts and like he didn't devote all his effort to it. Yeah, and he wanted to be paid better and all sorts of stuff. And who doesn't want to get paid better for whatever job they do? Right? Everyone always wants to get better. If you can get

paid $20 for this or $200 for this, you're never going to say, oh, just give me $20 instead of the $200. So I understand wanting more money. But so Danzig, when I kind of went about it, arguing with Cody McKenzie, I don't think he called him an idiot, but I was basically arguing with him. And I was like, I agreed to fight and do this task for this amount of money. And I was happy with it.

And I'm a man. And I don't complain about stuff after the fact and now he's in this lawsuit so I don't quite know exactly the specifics I'm thinking that there's going to be something more to it than what Mac is saying. I don't know

I'm not quite sure exactly what it is Mac who went out of his way to not have sponsors and not for sale and all this other stuff like when I fought him you know he didn't have any sponsors on his shorts at all can I interrupt on that because I heard him in an interview

about that and he had not for sale on his shorts and a lot of fans thought that was the coolest thing in the world but then in an interview what he said was he's like well we got some sponsors but the prices were so low that i didn't want to be selling spots on my shorts for i'm making up numbers here but you know 25 bucks so he just put not for sale but what he really meant was for sale yeah first yeah

for the right price is what he meant to write on there so yeah and and i understand that you know like i have so there's a couple ways you could look at sponsors right and sponsors in the uc are to write on there. And I understand that. There's a couple ways you can look at sponsors. Sponsors in the UFC are kind of going away pretty soon for what's actually going on inside the cage. In the near future, the UFC came to a deal with Reebok, so we're all going to be wearing Reebok shorts, Reebok clothes,

Reebok everything. Sponsors for anything fight-related, which is going to be fight week stuff for anything UFC produced, whether it's countdown shows, weigh-ins, fight, media days, anything like that, you have to wear Reebok. You can't wear anything else. I have a question about that.

For the average fighter, I think that's a good thing. But you seem like the kind of guy, I don't know who your management is but whoever is working behind the scenes it seems like they're working their butts off and getting a lot of stuff done for you are you worried about there being less money with a flat rate

Joe's got like 129 different brands on his shorts when he goes out there to fight I'm represented by this company called KO Reps Knockout Representation. My manager, my guy that does my sponsors is Oren Hodak. He does a good job for me. He does a good job. He basically deals with sponsors.

He's the one that makes sure that they pay. He's the one that determines value of what things are worth. He's the one that can go and say to them, Joe deserves more. As opposed to me saying, I want more or I deserve more. It's kind of tough with sponsorships to go and try and toot your own horn and be like, this is what I do and I'm awesome so you should give me more. Guys like Oren are probably going to be gone away. A lot of them.

They're going to go away. It's going to change things up a little bit. I guess that's just the future of the sport though. We're all supposed to wear Reebok stuff so we can still have sponsors for outside the cage. We just can't have sponsors for inside the cage or for any of the UFC

There's nothing to say that you couldn't be in some commercial as long as it wasn't competing. I wonder if that's going to be part of it. What if Nike wanted a UFC fighter in their commercial? That's completely fine. We can still do whatever we want for that

stuff, but Nike's probably not going to want an athlete like that when you're going to be in Reebok for your fights. However, Buick might be totally fine with you pitching their cars on a 30 second ad. Yeah, absolutely. That that stuff's okay.

So I do all my video blog stuff. So we can still have sponsors for all the video blogs. So that doesn't really change anything. And it's not that I can't wear other stuff. It's just for any official UFC stuff, I have to wear Reebok. And I can't have any of their sponsors. Speaking of sponsors, we're giving away a lovely SOG knife this episode. All you have to do is leave a comment down below.

Let me know you want the knife. We're going to pick one of the comments that says, you know, just say something like I want the knife. And click on like. And click on like. Hook a brother up for crying out loud. So this is one of SOG's knives. I like that. Show me the handle.

It's not just a black metal handle. What do we got there? No, it's a rubber handle. It's got a rubber handle. I think the really cool thing, if you look closely there, is it's got three LEDs. You've got a knife with a light on it. It's got a sheath and everything. I like

SOG knives. They send me a lot of this stuff to give away and stuff like that. This is from their hunting line of knives. Before the show, Taylor had his own idea. Taylor, do you want to repeat that? I am entering to win that. That looks pretty sweet. All he has to do is post a comment down below

and I may in fact pick Taylor to win the knife. I have two knives. What I'm probably going to do is just send Taylor the other knife that has a gray handle and we'll just do that. But this is, I want to read the specifics. It's a fixed blade, 3.8 inches,

8.5 inches overall length. The blade steel is too much to explain. If you're watching this, this knife might be airplane legal, so give it a go. Oh, and lifetime warranty as well.

Be sure to post a video blog of you carrying it through airport security. We want to see. 30 lumens. 30 lumens of light for one and a half hours. So that's pretty good. Pretty cool. Saw a giveaway. Yeah.

I'm doing my body armor giveaway on Facebook that's going to be hilarious I bet there's going to be a lot of people up in arms if you will about me giving away body armor but I don't see anything controversial about that I'm not giving I'm going to give away one full set of armor you're going to get a vest with the

plates and everything you're going to be ready to get shot at, I suppose. I've got a ton of shit I'm giving away on Facebook this week. I think that's going to be a lot of fun. This is the NPS Russia account? Yes. I've got three backpacks

and one of those hydration packs. They're like $200 or $300 backpacks. We're giving away probably a grand, two grand worth of stuff. When's the next video? Do you have anything already shot or do you need to shoot more? I need to shoot more. They're like $200 or $300 backpacks. We're giving away probably a grand. When's the next video? Do you have anything already shot? Or do you need to shoot more? I need to shoot more. We're filming next week and the week after. We're doing the tank thing.

Oh, you got the tank thing? The tank thing is all making... Did you hear us talking about the jackal idea earlier? I don't think so. There's a movie called The Jackal where Bruce Willis is an assassin

and I don't remember who's trying to stop him, but anyway, he's got this.50 caliber sniper rifle that's mounted to a gimbal that controls it and he's somewhere else controlling it and making it aim at the guy that he wants to kill. I'm going

to be using a thing just like that. So basically you've got a remote control. It's got a screen on it you can look at and the screen is looking through the scope of the rifle. And the rifle can be anywhere you want it to be on this gimbal and you can... They were demoing it on a speedboat.

It seems like the camera should be pointing through the scope, not the screen. Okay. The camera points not the screen. Okay. The camera points to the screen and you see that readout on a screen that's on the controller. So the camera goes through the scope, the controller has a screen on it.

I follow now. Yeah, so you can be sitting somewhere else, basically playing a video game and you've got crosshairs and a TV screen of everything out there and you just put the crosshairs and a TV screen of everything out there and you just put the crosshairs on what you want to shoot and press the red button and it fucking shoots it. Well this sounds

delightful. What kinds of things will you be shooting? I'm not sure yet. I know he's got a whole course set up where you can ride a speedboat by and shoot steel targets but I think I'll get some. I'm not sure what we're going to do yet. It depends on what kind of weapon systems we can mount on that thing. So we're doing that, but I've also got some stuff to film here.

I've got... I'm going to do like a specialty shotgun ammo video, and I've pretty much got my bowling ball mortar ready to shoot those giant cans of fire. That sounds cool. I'm making... Tomorrow's going to be napalm

day. I'm going to try to make my own napalm. All right, Kyle. Without walking through any doorways, how many weapons can you grab? Melee weapons count. Oh, that's not even fair. I mean, there's like, it's like how far do you really have to go?

All right, so first thing is going to be like a crazy knife fight, I guess. It has to be, but there's like a 15 pound dumbbell that always sits right there. I was looking for actual weapons. I don't know, there's a.357 Magnum Kunan. There's a

Benelli M2. There's a Remington 870 with side saddle. There's a Benelli Montefeltro. Those are all 12-gauge shotguns. There's a 1911.45 ACP. I think there's an HK45

right there. I see some AK-47 magazines and the lowers to a couple AR-15s, but I think I took a lot of that stuff back over to the shop. I literally took three guns out of here today. Joe Lozon, without walking through any doorways, how many melee weapons can you grab?

I have a few axes, a couple swords, a couple dives. Let's see them. Hold on. Oh, and if I go through that door over there, there's like eight more. And if I go through this door right over here, there's like eight more. And if I go through this door right over here, there's like 12 more.

And if I go upstairs, that's where I'm at. Yeah, that's really why I did the doorway thing. There's a bunch of stuff in here, though. It's a little less than it is. So I want to see what... Look at that. He's stacking them on the couch. I love that he's got all these like zombie weapons hidden around his house yeah he's ready for for some sort of uh home invasion of the undead

he's still grabbing stuff yeah yeah he's like yeah it's a sharp screwdriver i'm gonna need myself some phd flopper and a drink. Taylor, what Joe is doing right now is he's getting all the weapons that are in the room with him right now. I want to see what he came up with. Alright, I'm back. Let's do what you got.

So I have an axe. That's pretty cool. I like it. Zombie apocalypse. In case you go mountain climbing. I think that's the zombie... Yeah, zombies.

Look at that. Clearly for cleaving the heads of... Oh, I always forget how into the zombie thing Joe is. Oh, yeah. As if he would need a weapon. Or actually, you probably would need a weapon. Don't want to get anything on you. That's a pretty nice sword. Wow, look at As if he would need a weapon. Or actually, you probably would need a weapon. Don't want to get anything on you. That's a pretty nice sword. Wow, look at that.

One from Gladiator. Oh, what's the name for that type of sword? Is it a gladius or something? Yeah, that's it. Something. Can you imagine? Okay, so you face off with guys in the ring, but can you imagine facing off with another man and you've got

one of those in your hand and a shield? How much more amplified would it be? Dude, it would be horrible. A little more adrenaline. Just so everyone knows. Picture that and it wouldn't... The way the Romans actually fought, the way the gladiators

actually fought was, they didn't always get hacked to pieces, depending on which age you were in and who the emperor was, but the normal concept was that you were in and who the emperor was. But the normal concept was that you were like professional athletes of the day and you had a ranking and there were scores. There was a win-loss category

and that insinuates that you could lose more than once because usually you would surrender before the other guy killed you. You might get cut but you wouldn't die left and right. The real slaughtering of the gladiators in the gladiatorial games was of, like, slaves and, like, captured soldiers

and Christians and stuff like that. So, knowing that going in... Christians. Would you be a gladiator knowing that, you know, death isn't something that happens a lot, but it could happen? Oh, yeah. You'd be up...

You'd do it? Oh, yeah. Oh, that'd be awesome. I feel like that would be the ultimate So much Roman pussy. So much. They did. That's the way

that was another thing so these were the Roman gladiators were like the first professional athletes and one of the things that they would do is like women would pay

to like bed these the first professional athletes basically. Wow, they were also gigolos. Exactly. Then I have this one. Good lord. That's much more anime. That looks like a machete but it's got a longer handle on it.

Oh! This might be the zombie weapon. That's something you might see on Crunchyroll. Crunchyroll.com slash pka, link in the description. Maybe. That? Just enthusiasm. Heavy?

It looks like that base handle part would be pretty stout. It's pretty balanced. I like that. I feel like you would want to get a wide grip like that. Two-handed katana machete. So are these gifts, or did you buy these? Combination. I got a couple of them for Christmas a couple years ago.

I think I bought one or two. When you have that many swords, you have to answer that at least a couple of them are gifts. Otherwise, you just look like a lunatic. You just have all of these swords. They weren't expensive either. They were like $30 or something. Then I have

a katana, but it's all carbonite or carbon something, fiber. I don't know. That's just for training. I got two of these. We put on hockey gloves and me and Andy beat the fuck out of each other. The tip is sharp, though. You would get fucked up, but

it hurts just enough. But you put on hockey gloves, it's a good time. I got these for bringing to the gym. There's like a martial art that's... Kendo. Thank you. Yeah, kendo. We used to have a kendo stick at the gym and we'd hit each other with it, but these are better. That's the one that looks like

the folded up kind of bamboo, like the circular blade, right? Where you just kind of beat the fuck out of each other. Yeah, you need the suit as well. I've always thought that would be really fun to do, but only with the equipment. You know, you can't go in the backyard with fucking sticks and have a good time. At some point, will you separate...

At some point, do you separate the childcare from the battle axes? Yeah, you know, so you can see Joey has his pen. He can't get out of there. He will soon. So the other stuff was all over in this area.

But he's a Lozon, right? He'll be Spider-Man-ing out of that thing in no time. I think it would be funny if Joey had a little toy knife hidden up under the Spider-Man thing. Like he was ready to. We were up in the living room today. I was eating dinner.

And he grabbed the knife right off the coffee table. You can't play with that. Is he asleep now? So you just fight your way through that? Hopefully he stays sleeping. He's teething, so he's probably going to wake up. When we get off with you guys, I'm going to probably go wake him up. Go feed him a bottle and give him some Tylenol.

Yeah, I'd like to see this sword fight that you and Andy have. Is Andy sleeping right now? Yeah, he's sleeping. Oh, perfect. Surprise. The best time to attack. Surprise attack. What's new with Andy?

Has he fought? I know he won last time I talked to you, but that was... I don't think we've talked about Andy's fights in over a year. Yeah, he hasn't fought in a while. I forget what his last one was. I think he won his last one, though. That was probably...

He keeps injuring himself he keeps getting hurt so he's a final a while he's fighting i think in a couple weeks so mid february end of february end of february end of february supposedly yep yep yeah he won his last two fights in a row it looks like his pro record is 4-1. Yep. You got to give him something to say if he wins. Hook him up with a few lines like talk trash, give me the belt thing.

He's so bothered by anything to do with fighting or promoting himself or selling tickets or doing anything that would make sense. Before we're talking about if you could do a job for $20 or you could do it for $200, Andy would do it for $3. Whoa, lucky for him. I've got a spot on my staff for Randy. The problem is he's not very smart.

You always say that, but is it really true? He seems reasonable. He's a Buffalo Bills fan. Oh, no, but I'm serious, right? He's not a dumb guy. Yeah, kind of. Dude, the best thing about Andy... So Andy has OCD, and that prevents him from having unfolded laundry in the house.

So he just folds everybody's stuff. Does he still do that? Oh, yeah. Really? Yep. That's hilarious hilarious so if it's in the dryer he can't just take it out put in a basket he has to fold it as he takes it out so instead of trying to help him with his uh with his condition you've just taken advantage of it and made him a laundry man wait so no matter what he has to fold the laundry that's in there yes yeah yeah when i was there so this is a couple fights ago, but I was at Joe's.

I don't know how to say. It was at Joe's training camp, but I certainly wasn't his training partner. But, you know, I was also working out and stuff, and Andy would take all my sweaty clothes and wash them and fold them and put them in my room because he's awesome. That's good. I was a huge fan. That's a great skill to take, Andrew.

There was a time when we were considering, like when Woody and I first heard about Andy and his existence and the role that he had in Joe's life, we were like, hey, maybe we'll get him and send him down to South Carolina to live with wings.

In Conway. Maybe we'll just move him right on in with wings and redemption and andy will be this like positive force that'll like whip wings into shape and we were really discussing it we were like adding up how much we need to pay him yeah we negotiated costs with joe and everything right we were gonna sublet this human yes we literally took slave business with joe We were like, so that human you got over there. Yeah, the strong one. How much do you think for three months? Hypothetically, what if there were an

Underground Railroad back to South Carolina? Yeah, we were going to get Andy. We had it all worked out. It never would have worked out. We would have sabotaged the whole thing. It would never work. Andy would have done it. Andy 100% would have done it.

Now there has been some discussion of doing another FPS boot camp where I would get Dr. Chiz down here and run him through the paces for four weeks and then at the culmination, the final day, the final video, there would be a battle in which Wings of Redemption

would show up with his personal trainer, Drew, and we would have a competition between Chiz and Wings. That would be great. They should just have their sides or sprints or something. Yeah, exactly. But silly ones, of course. I'd get Jeremy over here, do some Jeremy pulls, stuff like that. How's your new guy?

Kyle, I still like the idea of you having me come down there and do all the same things, and you try to get me to lose 100 pounds, and I've got that bloated, starving Somalian kid belly, and I'm just struggling through all of it, just shaking, and you're like, you're looking great, Taylor, down 60 pounds to 120. Like a concentration camp.

No, I think that would be really fun, though, and I think Chiz would enjoy that, too, and I really think having Chiz face off against Wings of Redemption would be hilarious. I think they should face off against Wings of Redemption would be hilarious. I think they should face off over the course of three or four weeks, right? Like we'll just define a starting time. Well, it's hard to get Wings down here, you know, to film that sort of thing.

But you could just weigh it, right? Like progress up until the point, right? So like, all right, starting weights. Wings hops on a scale. Chiz hops on a scale. And then over the next four weeks, see who loses more weight. Nah, see, Wings would never agree to a weight loss competition. I didn't

think that would be a good idea. I would think more of a... He would never agree to that where he'd go pound for pound against Chiz because Chiz would fucking lose the weight. Chiz would get serious about it and he'd lose a lot of weight. If they both got equally

serious, Chiz would lose because Wings is just heavier. If it's a pound-for-pound battle between Chiz and Wings, Wings is going to win if he stays just as hardcore. When Chiz was trying to lose enough weight to do the ziplining with us, he went on this juice diet for a couple of weeks and maybe three weeks. He lost a ton of weight.

I think it was more. I think he lost like 45 pounds in seven weeks or something crazy like that. He'd keep it off and he'd put it back on. He'd put it back on. But now he's taking it off again. And a little bonus weight. I think the general rule of thumb on determining if someone's going to be successful at anything or not is if they take responsibility for it working or not working, then they do a lot better.

If they blame outside factors, then they'll never succeed. They'll never get it done. Which I think has always been Wings' biggest thing. I think he always wants to be like, oh, this is my problem, and this is my problem, and this is my problem. Instead of being like, look, I'm going to be the one that has to do this. I have to overcome. Until you change that

mindset, I feel like it's really tough to make progress on anything. Even the internalized stuff is like, well, I feel like it's really tough to make progress on anything. Even the internalized stuff is like, well, I have a problem that is food addiction, but not necessarily I have a problem with what I'm putting in my mouth. I don't know. It's a variation. There's a disconnect

between realizing the addiction and just acknowledging that it exists. You can't constantly be outsourcing responsibility for your problems. just like Joe said, you'll never be successful. Dude, what was it that Chiz is definitely afraid of? Spiders.

Okay, so here's what we have. Like one of the competitions is like the Face Your Fears competition. And Chiz's part would be like he'd have to hustle it through like a pipe or something with spiders in it. But on Wings, I figure Wings' biggest enemy

is like Coca-Cola, so I've got these grenade launchers that shoot cans of Coke, and I'm just imagining him