Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #225

Episode Date: April 11, 2015

This week on PKA, the guys discuss Kyle's silly yacht, some shenanigans that are sure to come in the weekend of paintball that approaches and a ton of Game of Thrones book discussion!

and we're live we're live somewhere in that long drawn out we're live we're live hey everybody hello episode 225 this episode of panko already is being brought to you by squarespace the all-in-one platform that makes it fast and easy to create your own what's that noise kill the noise kill the dog squarespace the all-in-one platform that makes it fast and easy to create your own professional website portfolio or online store for a free trial and 10% off visit squarespace.com and enter offer code PKA at checkout

a better web starts with your website so I like these guys a lot they really caught my eye with that whole Jeff Bridges campaign what is she sorting nickels and quarters into rolls on your desk? She's just rolling plastic together spitefully right next

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You'd have to be an idiot to keep overpaying. You hear that? Dollar Shave Club is calling you an idiot if you don't use their product. I'm calling you an idiot if you don't use their product. I think Chiz wrote that actually. Did he? Chiz is calling you an idiot. Oh, they don't make people even matter. Yeah. Yeah, Chiz is saying it, that dumb fuck. Don't be fooled by the affordable price. These rages are legit and you will never go back. Yeah, he's on a train across the country.

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lose but everything to gain. See, I like to get two packages, one with five blades for my face and one with one blade for my genitals because I'm not a savage I'm not gonna use the same one for both that's gross no and you can't use the five blade one in all the nooks and crannies down there this is just far too many blades if there are more blades in my situation not very many nooks no no pretty soon you're a cranny guy okay so yeah it's it's fantastic you got to use them you want the one blade ones the three buck a month one for your junk you don't want to use that on your face still

good but you want to go all go balls out for your face want to sort of spread your uh your scrotum out like a bat wing like a bat yeah you don't want to try to to ride the curvature is this a two-person operation it's absolutely a two-person operation? It's absolutely a two-person operation. Absolutely, yeah. Anytime you need an extra hand, like when you're threatening... I feel like I'm not doing this right. I think I could use an expert to show me the ropes. Well, I use a system of pulleys and clothespins most of the time

to keep it tight. I use tape, but never rope. Never rope? No. It's a little too rough anyway. I i think i should man i use a weed whacker i just fucking buzz that shit across the top once a month but good are you serious you use clippers you actually use those no i was talking about a weed whacker with the spinning fishing line and no i'm not serious that's a horrible idea well that single blade razor is only three

dollars a month i think that's their most affordable package i don't even know how much they are but their butt wipes are my favorite thing but that's actually my top service the one way charlie's yeah yeah mine are still sitting over there in the floor i'm just uh i'm just not interested are you serious kyle then ship them to me ship them to me i'll use those one wipe charlie's i'm i'm sure that chiz could uh could grease some uh some palms and get you shipment dude the one way like it's i'm i'm sure that chiz could uh could grease some uh some palms and get you shipment dude the one wipe like it's i've talked about this before i'm a repeater but americans and just dry toilet paper as a wipe you know assuming that you're not able to always time

it right pre-shower you wouldn't if i spilled used motor oil on your forearm you wouldn't just hit it with some dry paper and be like ah we're cool now that's a clean surface it's not it's not who are you kidding you're just hoping that your butt stays closed enough that there's not problems radiating through the office but with one wipe charlie's americans go from the savages with just dry white paper to really at the top. We are paramount in butthole cleanliness when we use One White Charlie. And you can flush them. And they don't tear.

And they smell like a sauna almost with the mint and the chamomile, the lavender coming off. You know, like the relaxing waiting room in a sauna or a nail place where Asian women work. I just know that because that's like, you know, the scents that are in your memory. I remember my mom used to make me sit in one of those places and that's what it smelled like. It smelled like a mole-white Charlie. Your mother worked in a massage parlor? No, but she would... Well, but

no, she would take me to the nail place. I thought this mom. You bastard would. But yeah. It's the Xbox player. Mole-white Charl charlie's get them they're great and the razors are pretty badass too yeah i just got another shipment of those today i've got so many goddamn razors now i will never on squarespace i don't think we called it out but they have ddos protection on their site i think that's pretty fucking awesome another one they're literally sitting everywhere did you keep your the pamph did you keep the pamphlet?

you kept the pamphlet this time right? I don't fucking know I think I threw it away another bonus of Dollar Shave Club they send you with the razors a little pamphlet with stuff to read while you're shitting and it's pretty interesting like presidential facts are we ready for a new topic?

I was going to talk about those popsicles that used to have the little messages on them. I thought that was cool. I was going to say that I wish more foods had that sort of premise built in so that when you finish the food, you know, you got the punchline of a joke or the answer to a trivia question. Yeah, or when you use the one wipe, Charlie, the shit causes it to illuminate almost like invisible ink.

I would like that. I would like a product that turned my bodily functions into a source of energy perhaps. I feel like someone should come up with some sort of invention that you like poop and pee in. And we capture the methane gas and heat the house with it. Or get high. All right. So I want a box. So future inventors out there,

I want a box that I can poo and pee in and I'll get something out of it, okay? Like, it's going to... Electricity or, you know, anything. Electricity or some sort of energy source. It could be a heater. It could be an air compressor. Anything.

I want something that... Or maybe it could purify all my waste back down to something that could be used. Maybe it would dehydrate the poo and the urine and make water again. Some sort of dune slash water world scenario. Maybe like the dried pellets for your lawn. Something like that. Ooh, I like that. I want to quickly explain the overlay we got going on. Kyle and Taylor haven't seen it, but

we were expecting a fourth over here, I guess. Is it there? Right below you, Kyle. Yeah, and Mark, are you doing good? To your left, maybe? Yes, and Kyle down? Yeah, and me.

I'm doing this terribly. Anyway, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here we are. That guy. So we were expecting cream to come, and Kyle Down? Yeah, and me. I'm doing this terribly. Anyway, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here we are. That guy. So we were expecting Cream to come, and he's a streamer. He regularly pulls like 1,000 people. He's an MLG-level Gears of War guy, and he didn't come. So I have a spot for him in case he comes mid-show.

Unless he shows up. He's probably just delayed. That's all. Yeah. Fuck him. Fuck him, unless he makes it,'s probably just delayed that's all yeah fuck him unless he makes it at which point hey welcome to the show i don't know what uh what happened to chis scheduled him but chis is on a train to the paintball train so uh so he was unable to like i guess do the last minute communications i don't know really how it went wrong. So what... He's just afraid of flying, right? That has to be the thing.

I don't know his motivation. Or he's just going all in with that early 19th century character that he plays. He like pulls the cap down low and I dream of such a thing. He's up in the front

shoveling coal into the front. Shoveling coal into the engine. Oh my god. I asked him, I was like, is there some sort of reduced ticket price? Maybe you could shovel a little coal? I don't know. How does this work? But he's taking a fucking train from the west coast.

From San Francisco to Chicago. Yeah, quite a fucking haul. He's going to get to see a lot of the country. I think he loves it. What was he so happy about? They were stopping in Denver. Oh, is that why he was excited?

Oh. I think he's got like a two or three hour layover in Denver. So I wonder what he's buying in Denver. The Sunshine State. What? I don't understand. He just texted This is F-ing Awesome at one point

and I don't really know what the subject was. I've met up with a group of vagabonds. I'm not coming head to the saddle. I'm in a grunge band now. I'm in where they hold their hats I'm in their Where they hold their hats The acapella quartet

They do it in the cargo train One guy's got like that washer thing I heard that he Chipped in some extra money And upgraded So now he actually has a bed. No way! He has a bed? Yeah, he's got his own little...

I wonder if... Does he have his own room? Or is it a small room with four beds? That I don't know. I just don't know. But I would imagine... It's probably not too bad if it has Wi-Fi. And I'm sure trains have Wi-Fi now, right? I bet they do. Yeah, he's got Wi-Fi. I'll see if he's tweeted anything. It sounds like a fun way to travel, if I'm being honest. But for this sort

of trip, I would have definitely opted. And I am definitely opting for a fucking aeroplane. Yeah. By yourself, it wouldn't be as fun. No. It's something that you'd want to have somebody there so that you can look at him halfway through and say, why did we do this? He said he's catching up on his

reading. Half of the things I need are in one house and the other half is in the other house. It's a flipping nightmare. Home is where the heart is, Woody. It's true. I saw that once. I don't even know where that is. The pool table arrived today. Oh, it did? Yeah. I didn't put it together yet because we're tomorrow actually the bulk of the like we bought a lot of furniture and it seemed like a lot to me i don't even remember at all

but um they're rolling in with a bunch of furniture tomorrow uh with your pool table is it is it that because all right so i've got one one that's got a three-piece slate top, I guess. So every time you move it, they have to re-felt it. Do you have a similar situation? Because I don't know anything about pool tables. I also don't know anything about pool tables. I can tell you it's not a high-end one. I'm not that into pool, to be honest.

Okay. Neither am I. It's really about decorating. I have a room that would be amazing with a pool table. So I bought the best pool table I could find that also had ping pong on the top. Elite pool tables don't come with ping pong tables. But you want ping pong on it. You do.

But I think Kitty went and bought a uh pool table and apparently got quite a good deal on it and i think i have like a three or four thousand dollar pool table but the drawback of such a pool table is every time you move it it costs 250 because you gotta be oh motherfucker i got a quote on moving it and uh i think he wanted 200 to take it out and then 250 to set it up in the new place and he's ripped that's that seems like a ripoff i boy hard to set up a pool table well it's like transportation in a truck and carrying and uh there's a special um like uh uh sort of thing they use to move the pieces of slate around. It's like hand trucks, but they're different. It's a process.

The top of the table is big pieces of slate. I think mine is like three big pieces. I think the top table is that one piece. Maybe so. But the pieces weigh like several hundred pounds each. And I know that they've got to redo the felting every time that they move it and put everything back together. The delivery people were mad at me for having bought it like they were just like they're like hey can we drive on your grass and i'm like no it's a

gigantic white fucking like just one step below a semi i'm like does that thing look like a lawnmower do you mean of course you can't drive on the grass and uh so they had to carry it like an extra i don't know it was kind of far it's like 75 feet and um they're like this was the worst delivery of the day this thing was so heavy this thing i was like i didn't like was it inappropriate to buy it i don't even know dude i got such a deal so um the pool table was like a thousand bucks that's what they go for. And, uh, but I found it on super sale in January of this year, like months ago, they didn't have it in stock. And I think it was like four 99 or something like that. And, uh, so already it's half off. Sweet. So, um, uh, but the, cause they didn't do it or whatever. I got like a rain check. So they're

like, Hey, honor this price when he comes back. I don't think they expected me to come back in April for it, but that's when I came back. And I had my email from like, hey, look at this thing. It was the same guy. He remembered me. So sweet. Now it's half off. And then as he's ringing me up, he's like, hey, I see you have like $67 in credits here and stuff.

And would you like to apply those? I'm like, yeah. So I got it like 567 dollars off nice a thousand dollar table so uh yeah at least something went cheap on this fucking house i like it's uh it's fun to kill time and usually people it most everybody likes to play pool but most people are just terrible at it so if you've got your own table and you can practice maybe you know a game a day or something like that uh it's a good game to play when you don't really have to pay attention to the game like ping pong you can't really be socializing back and forth that much unless you're playing

really casually but pool i'm so bad at break go get a couple beers how are you oh i want to play ping pong with you because i'm not half bad uh i'm really bad i mean i can keep a game going as long as we're not like like when i play this guy yeah yeah totally yeah yeah oh what are you fucking forest go how good are you taylor i used to be pretty good uh i haven't played in probably like three years it's because we used to have a pool ping pong table like you're talking about in my basement And of course when you have friends over And you don't have anything to do yet You just kill some time

But yeah we used to have really really competitive tournaments Of my friends Like there were a couple that were just ludicrous The Asian kid It sounds like you and I are around the same level I used to be pretty good too We had a pool table at work Back in the dot com days

When like they loved engineers And they'd do anything to keep them and recruit them we could play uh did i say pool i'd talk about ping pong and um and yeah i have a well i had an overpowering forehand uh to which it would take ridiculous spin to defeat and um uh my backhand wasn't half bad my serve was okay uh like oh that's right i've played ping pong with you. You're such an asshole to play with. No fun at all. This is what it's like. I'm just there to have fun. I want to play that Kentucky type game.

Here's Woody. Here's Woody. He's doing this this crazy weird serve and then when the game starts he's hitting it as hard as he can like it's super competitive i remember playing with you now you know oh so much better it was not fun at all no i have a couple serves where you like throw it up really high and then go like chop at it and make it spin back over the net? I have two serves I do. I'm not an amazing player or anything, but I have two serves.

One, like you described, where I kind of toss it up and then I do a heavy backspin. And hopefully you hit it into the net. And then the other one I do, again, toss it up a foot because that's the rule, if you don't know. And I like to just line drive it to the guy's backhand. If he's a weak player that'll usually win too so well you don't sound like that much fun to play with now where you're like strategizing points I'm like this guy wants to have a fun time yeah this was a killing every so often someone would

come I'm sorry I'm talking over you someone would come who like oh I'm sorry, I'm talking over you, someone would come who, like, oh, I'm good, and it's like, ah, let's see about that. And they weren't. She's like, I know how to play, and Woody's like, kapow! Get the fuck out of here! Like an NBA player. This is my house!

Slamming your paddle on the table. Taking your shirt off. Hulk Hogan style this way. Woody's pretty good. Ruins a lot of shirts though. He doesn't have to do it after every serve. You try to tell him. Yeah.

I was pretty good. Most of the guys I played with were good. Because we had so many Indian people. It was like, how are you at your ping pong game? I was on my college team. It's like, oh are you at your ping pong game? They're like, well, I was on my college team. It's like, oh, all right. This guy's a player. But I was just right in the mix.

I was better than some, worse than others. So I feel like I should bring this up now so that I don't forget about it later. Kitty, so for the paintball trip, I've been going through a lot of Kitty's stuff, a lot of her old paintball stuff, and a lot of my old paintball stuff. Can I interrupt you super quick? I'm sorry. If you're watching this right away, it's Saturday. We are playing paintball today and tomorrow.

So you actually can catch the Sunday session if you're watching this right as it's uploaded. Yes, absolutely. So tomorrow we're going to play again. You should come out. The website is PB, like paintball. PBbomb.com I think their place is called Paintball Explosion, which is where PBbomb

comes from. B-O-M-B dot com. Lovely branding. Anyway, I interrupted. Carry on. So I was going through Kitty's stuff, looking for little odds and ends, something that would be cool to take with me or whatever, and I found she had a .43 caliber semi-automatic paintball pistol that looks like a walther uh p99 it looks like a real gun uh it cycles like a real gun but it shoots these 43

caliber paintballs which are much smaller than the standard 68 caliber paintballs that are have it on your lap excuse me you had a giant gun right before the show um i don't believe i did it was a black pistol oh that's no that's um that's this is my um i got really unfocused this is my tiberius pistol uh this is a different pistol i could go get it if you wanted it looks like a walter i just i thought maybe you had it you know as a visual aid it's upstairs i'll grab it um anyway um she contacted the company that makes the ammunition for this for 43 caliber paintballs and they also make some um some pepper rounds for this thing so they they have uh powdered pepper inside these balls and they said we'll send you a tube of those as well as some paintballs for your paintball and I was like, oh, that'll be great.

They were like, oh, and just so you know, the.43 caliber pepper shot things, they're not all that bad. They're not terrible. We're going to send you some of the.68 caliber ones. They're awful. At the paintball event, I'll have these. They're not pepper balls.

They're called pepper shots, I think. But they're made by RAP4, R-A-P, and then the number four. So they're going to send me these things. And I was thinking that we should shoot Chiz with those things. It's funny because Kitty reached out to me today and said, would you be willing to shoot Kyle with pepper balls? And I said, well, sure. I'll do that.

I was hoping I wasn't, like, because Kyle had this idea that, is it called a Mexican standoff? Is this a non-racist thing that people know? Mexican standoff. It's pretty much a 1v1. Sure. They'll define some, if I understand what a Mexican standoff is, I have no idea what the history of the term is or if I'm being racist,

but it's... You say, all right, these are the boundaries. You guys won't be the first one to die loses. Usually in front of a Hello's or Home Depot. It's definitely not racist, but I could be wrong about this, but I think a Mexican standoff is when two equal forces are facing off,

aimed at each other, and no one wants to shoot because it'll erupt everything in the gunfire and everybody dies. I think a showdown is what you're thinking of. When T-Mart and I 1v1'd inside a building, they called it a Mexican

Stain Off, and that's what I was basing it on. Is that when you only get one shot? No, it wasn't that. You get one life, though. But again, maybe I don't feel... I think Kyle's right about the whole Mexican standoff being a mutually assured destruction

type thing where they don't want to fire. So how much do these hurt? They're not going to hurt. It's like pepper spray. Oh, but it won't hurt i mean they'll be an awful experience they'll hurt as much as a paintball and then you'll be choking and coughing and like your nasal you're gonna be like snot running and eyes pouring and all that stuff so i was thinking there's lots of ways we could have fun with this so i have we could have a showdown with 68 caliber pepper balls.

That would be fucking intense. We could have a like testing video where we just put Chiz down range and I just test these things on him. I would like to do that. That keeps me out of danger. Or we could do like a three-way thing where all three of us have pepper balls.

Leave it to Kyle to turn into a three-way. Yeah, you know, whatever it takes. Get a fan involved maybe. actually kitty said no fans um i couldn't uh couldn't shoot any fans the pepper balls i had the opposite idea of kitty i was like how about we get a fan right but i'm playing i'm shooting pepper spray right and he's maybe laser tag and then you know yeah i you know you'd stack the deck in your favor. If you haven't learned this yet, then you're not going anywhere. Well, I started packing today.

I started getting my stuff together. So I really want to make sure I've got all my cameras ready and that I've got backups for backups. Are you bringing your DSLR? Me? Yes. I hadn't planned on it, actually. Do you want it for something it would be it would be good if we could just do like uh like intros and outros for for like the

whole like the day like you know we're here at blah blah blah do i was gonna vlog like the feedback i got from some of the like for example they really like the survival trip vlogs, and they really didn't like the adventure trip stuff, especially the one with music and such. That was the opposite of what they enjoyed. So I was like, I think I'm just going to vlog the hell out of this whole experience and sort of take them on the journey with me. That was my idea. But DSLR, to me, doesn't lend itself to that. I was going to do something a little more personal and portable. Okay. I've got

one of those replay HD cameras on the side of my mask looking out and I'll have the scorpion tail and I've got my scope camera and so yeah, I think it'll be good. I went and got a bunch of micro SD cards today and I bought like six extra

GoPro batteries so it should be good. Going back to those pepper ball things like how much is it going to ruin someone's day if you hit them with that? Because fans are going to volunteer for it and I think you should indulge them obviously. But if it's going to ruin their whole afternoon where they're like yeah I drove here

from fucking Detroit. 30 minutes you think it'll ruin? I wouldn't think it would be more than 30 minutes as long as you have water flowing in your eyes, but I could be wrong. As long as you... I can't hang out, but I'm just going to be in the bathroom for the next hour.

Yeah, my only knowledge comes from being pepper sprayed that time. In my case, I was good after about 20 or 30 minutes of pouring stuff into my eyes and screaming then for safety's sake absolutely tested on shiz I Really want to fuck with cheese. I want to fuck with cheese hard I want to I want to be that won't that to be part of my video Just me fucking with cheese like anytime I see cheese and and he won, and the best part is Chiz won't hear me saying this about him until after

the event, but anytime I catch him looking the wrong way, I think I'll pull my.43 caliber pistol out and maybe shoot him in the butt. I feel like there's got to be lots of Chiz hijinks. Yeah, give him the old aviator treatment. There you go.

I'm going to fuck with his hotel room. I'm really going to mess with Chiz this trip. I think the fans will love it. I'm not going to do any of those things. Ah, you're no fun. I checked the weather, by the way. Chicago, high on Saturday, 58, high on Sunday, 66,

and no chance of rain. Great, then it's improved. There was like a 15% chance of rain on sunday but that's good i'm getting zeros on the weather channels website it sounds like it's gonna be nice and cool too yeah because that in my experience it's easier you know in paintball anyway to to handle cold you know because you can just add some layers the paintballs hurt less. Everything is a win. When it's 90 out there, it's rough. Yeah, absolutely. So that should be fun.

Dude, did you see that video of the cop killing the guy? Yeah, yeah. I think, was it Chicago or New York? Where was that? Oh, the guy who was shot in the back? Yeah. Actually, I did see that. Give me your take.

I'm kind of over the whole cop hate thing at this point. Like, here's the deal. That cop fucked up. The perp, if you call him that, or victim, whatever you want to go with. He fucked up a little bit too. He didn't deserve to die, but he was resisting. He was running. Apparently before the cameras rolled, he was like not hitting or anything

he had a tail light out he had a tail light out which is ridiculous but then they pulled him over the tail light and he was like you know he wasn't just like calm and he was all like but i just got a tail light out and the cop was like you listen to me boy and then he really stepped out of line somehow the guy got out of his car and Oh, he pushed the cop or something. And then he started running for it. And the cop shot him in the back. She fired eight shots. Oh, it was a she?

No, they were all guys. Did I say it wrong? Oh, I thought you just said she. Never mind. I may have said it wrong. I think five of his eight shots hit the guy. I'm not sure. That or like five in the back and two in the butt or something going on.

The guy died shortly afterwards. And he may or may not, the cop, may or may not have tried to plant something on him. Like I saw a blur of something dropping when he first got to the body. He planted a stun gun on him. His taser. He planted the stun gun on him? Why would he do that? Well, he planted it as the guy reached for his stun gun.

Ah, to show like, oh, he already took this. His taser, I should have said. I mean, in none of the articles that I read did they confirm what he put on him or whatever. But you could see it in the video. And I saw it stopped and there's a blur. And something fell from the cop to the dead guy right as he got to him. It looked like he was planning something. The thing is this.

The cop is being charged with murder. We're good here, right? Like, all right, the cop is being charged with murder we're good here right like all right the cop fucked up i get it cops some cops are bad if you want to say cops need to have cameras on them so that we fully understand what's happening in all this time cameras you can't turn off by the way then i'm supportive of that i get it but this cop you know it's not a matter of whether or not he gets fired he's on trial for murder now like do you know what kind like first second they didn't say uh they didn't say i don't think it's first i don't think it was premeditated murder yeah um so it would have to be second or third or some sort of manslaughter i don't know are you you don't you feel like that's too extreme no i feel like it's right on target.

And there's, aside from the fact that this cop was a terrible person and a murderer, like after the fact, they're handling it right. This isn't like a Ferguson situation where you really don't know if they're like, this guy's getting excused or whatever. Maybe the Ferguson's not a good example, but a lot of times cop does something terrible. Cop gets a paid week off and that's it cop gets nothing you know cop get like cops unless it's murder cops get away with anything and sometimes even murder not this time you know this time like this guy's getting they're fucking up

this cop rightfully so and uh i'm almost like you know well that worked out okay yeah you mean like not like it worked out okay obviously but like you mean justice is being appropriately served yeah it's not like they're like oh he didn't actually do it and look he had a stun gun anyway like they're actually doing it but i do see what you mean about the anti-cop thing where it's just every story like this every or the vast majority of comments because the internet is a liberal place for the most part it's going to be like it's not just this cop or that cop it's like oh they're all cops they're all just psychopaths they're out there for blood and it's just just kind of nonsense and overly hateful i i yeah i mean i people watch the show of herbie bash cops as much as anybody you know and this cop certainly deserves bashing.

But I guess what I'm really doing is I'm praising whoever, the mayor, the police chief, etc. Instantly, he's gone. He's on trial for murder in no time at all. This guy's goose is cooked, as it should be. And that, to me, is the bigger story. But still, body cams on all cops. Can't turn them off. Let's get that going.

Yeah, definitely. It would fix so many problems. And it would help both sides. And, you know, like, everywhere I've worked, because I've worked for big companies, I've just recorded all the time. All the time. I've never had some, like, no, no, I'm in my cube. I deserve privacy.

No, you don't, asshole. You're in your cube. Like, this isn't your house. There's no'm in my cube. I deserve privacy. No, you don't, asshole. You're in your cube. Like, this isn't your house. There's no cameras in the bathroom. But in your cube, that globe-looking smoky circle in the ceiling, that's a camera. And expect it. I don't know why cops want to be able to, like,

not be recorded while they're doing their job. Every cash register that I've ever worked at as a kid had a camera on it. Yeah. If any job should have a camera, like, get-go it should have been cops just for the sake even not like oh we're gonna catch you just so it's like all right we need to make sure that we're appropriately assessing all these situations that you're going to get into because you're a cop it's often likely to defend them i mean i'm sure there are a lot of people who file um like harassment or some sort of of police brutality thing who didn't

or who shouldn't have. There are people who play the victim who weren't victims at all, who were just total douches and needed to be restrained or whatever. Just get the truth out. Let's have video evidence all the time. And then the evidence is on the side of whoever's right so i think we all agree that uh it looks like justice is going to be served there and it's a good thing they're doing it quickly but i wanted to talk about something very important i am less than an hour away from finishing book three of game of thrones like half an hour to go here. And there are...

I'm ahead of the show now. Oh, what's happening? Right, or no, I don't want you to ruin anything for me. Yeah, I can't. Now he's got that book reader's sense of honor that he needs to maintain. I know what you're... There's stuff happening.

Roxanne, here, I have a guess. How far are you guys into it? Kyle, you're an hour away from the end. This is what you're talking about, isn't it, Kyle? I don't know what that is. You don't? Oh, Woody. I know a thing.

Yeah, Woody knows. I thought that's what Kyle... You know who that is, Kyle. What's that? You have well this is that is kyle what's that you have to you have to know who that is if you're only an hour away from the end he will soon then it's weird that he didn't know but um i kyle is ahead of me i've got trouble actually so i i i have 14 and a half hours to go um tomorrow that'll be 13 if i don't try. That's just how much driving I have to do. 13 hours. I need to have that done by Sunday.

So I'll have to do some listening tomorrow outside of the drive. The flight and the whole airport experience, I can be listening then. But that's like four or five hours tops. Did you go get anything for your nausea? Not like we talked about. I got salty foods and I'll do Sprite and stuff like that. Please, please vlog if you're sick.

Okay. I like the way you're thinking. Like on the plane, weird altitude. I'll be all gray and sweaty. Camera's just shaking. Alright alright so I gotta know type to me like explain to me what that

word you just put in there do you really want to know? yeah yeah totally do because I feel like I should know I just for some reason it's not clicking because I'm ahead of you I have to be aware of this oh yeah that's not a thing Because I'm ahead of you, I have to be aware of this. Oh, yeah.

That's not a thing that I know about. Oh, god damn it. You asked for the spoiler. Well, you'll know about it this book, so you must be very close. How did you know about it? I saw it on the internet. You probably read the wiki, didn't you? Oh.

Not the wiki. I saw it on the Game of Thrones subreddit or something like that. At the end of last season, a lot of people were looking forward to learning about that. And because it was in the book that the season covered, they expected it to be in the season, and it wasn't. And that's how I learned about it, because people were talking about it. So you could expect that to be in the very beginning of this season. You'll probably see her Sunday. I keep forgetting it's this Sunday. Yeah.

So excited. You're excited. I'm like, I've got, what is it? What did I say? 14 and a half hours of listening to do to meet my goal. You can do it. I believe in you. Is it 14? I'm looking forward to it. i don't know how we're gonna watch it uh it depends if there's a shitty tv at that hotel like i'm totally i don't know if

i want to watch it sunday night i may wait till i get home that's a so that gives me two things one the flight experience home is five hours and then it becomes not even hard right you know like the all the listening and the baggage claim and the driving to and from the airport if you had five hours there and five hours back then i've only got like three other hours dude and then i'll get it done um and then what was i gonna say oh and then the other thing is i don't want it to like be crappy like one way we could watch it is all huddle on a bed totally gay on joe lozon's notebook right because he's got an hbo login and um like he pays for hbo and we could watch it there but do you really want to see game of thrones like from a side view on a notebook you want to hear on the speakers yeah you don't

want to see that weird glaze you get some of the characters get and people get when you're looking sideways on a on a laptop. You also don't want to hear the epic music. Like... I think I'll wait until I get home. I'm sure Chiz will have a link for me. Even though the audio-visual experience will suck,

I think it'd be fun to watch Game of Thrones with Kyle, Chiz, and Joe in a room. Turn it into a drinking game and vlog it. I don't even want to drink. But that's the best part about you in those games is because you want nothing to do with it. It's so awful for me. That's the funniest part of Woody in those drinking episodes in the games is that he just doesn't want want to be doing it and it's fun to watch people do things they don't want to do

but it's i agree it's an awful soul-sucking experience for me like yeah we have a guest in mind that would do well on a um a drinking episode and i'm just like oh fuck okay just get yourself some beer next time yeah we're drinking don't drink milk don't drink heavy cream that's another thing I don't drink much so I make terrible decisions like that we're drinking I think next week we're drinking so maybe start

getting your beverages in order now one time this is years ago we played hooky from work to watch, it might have been the first Star Trek in the reboot series or something. We watched a movie and PK Dan was there. Anyway, they knew I didn't really like beer, but we were all sneaking alcohol in.

So they snuck in these woodpeckers for me. Are you guys familiar with woodpecker? It's like a cider. Oh, like Angry Orchard. Okay. in these woodpeckers for me are you guys familiar with woodpecker it's like a cider and it's like angry orchard okay i haven't had that but it it it was pretty good actually it was like a apple juice version of beer no we need to get you doing shots that's what i want i want it's more alcoholic than beer so it's it's not like it's a kiddie drink or anything i feel like i feel like shots of tequila i feel like that's the game we should play i'd love just imagine imagine woody like after like five shots of tequila just real sloppy he'll start getting anti-semitic like he does

start talking about the jews and slurring his words and it he'll go into the standard rant of like i don't know if i'm drunk yet but i feel like i should Start talking about the Jews and slurring his words. He'll go into the standard rant of like, I don't know if I'm drunk yet, but I feel like I should be drunk. Am I faking it? My face is hot. I'm like, yes, you're drunk. I'm not sure if I'm drunk yet, but this is really interesting.

Like the last one, at one point you're like, a minute after you were like, I don't think I'm that drunk. I think I'm faking it. you're sitting there in the chair like a lot of the something like i i again i get well i'm an awful boring drunk but i was like i'm not really sure if i'm drunk yet and i started watching the ceiling fan for like a minute it's like but the ceiling fan's really entertaining right now and that was yeah yeah but hard alcohol that should be well I don't know I can't do hard

alcohol for four hours and I know Woody can but I just want to last as long as I can yeah well our guest next week will be I know they're going to be drinking some scotch they already mentioned it I guess, I think he mentioned, he said McKellen's or something like that.

Oh, McKellen. Yeah, I really like that scotch. They do as well. I don't know my scotch at all. I don't even know. It's expensive though. McKellen 18 is like 60 bucks. What's Wild Turkey? Wild Turkey is, they make whiskey and bourbon, don't they? What's Jack Daniels?

A whiskey, right? Whiskey. What are other scotches that I might have heard of? Scotches wild turkey is they make whiskey and bourbon don't they what's jack daniels a whiskey right whiskey what are other scotches that i might have heard of scotch is different than whiskey so it's just distilled from one kind of grain or whatever whereas whiskey is like a few different kinds and then bourbon is like a ton of different kinds so is scotch in the like yellow syrupy family or the clear vodka ey family? It's like, you know what Jack Daniels looks like. It's going to look similar to that, like a caramel color. And it's going to be like 80 proof. I hate Jack Daniels with a passion.

Caramel implies that it will be a nice thing. It's not a nice thing. I hate Jack Daniels so fucking much, it's disgusting. Unless they sponsor the show, at which point. No. At which point every episode. They would have to pay us so much goddamn money to have me drink that shit on a weekly basis. I guess I'd just pull a Wings of Redemption and fill it up with fucking sweet tea or something like that.

And just not actually drink it because I couldn't do it. I couldn't stomach that shit. It's disgusting. Do you think he faked every drinking episode? He said he did. Yeah. It was pretty convincing. Well, I mean, you know. But the second one...

What'd you say? Acting. Clearly, he had that bottle under his desk for months later and then he's chugging it. He's like, this is Crystal Light. And, like, that was surprising. The first episode, too, they were all faked.

I guess so. Yeah, I suppose so. It's so funny that he went through that much effort. I remember the first one. I don't even know if I was on that episode. This was years ago, where it was like he was drinking Dr. McGillicuddy's schnapps straight, just only schnapps, which is just sugar and more sugar disgusting the worst thing you can drink if you're trying to be healthy probably is schnapps someone said they wanted to get drew on the show as our

guest wouldn't that be interesting to hear the yeah i like drew to get it from get it from drew's standpoint without wings there too yeah i'm sure drew would be loyal and kind about the whole thing but i i i wonder how they still work apart no they stopped a while ago oh catch me up uh i think it's as straightforward as um wings was losing motivation because he wasn't getting any success from the working out, which is because, as everybody knows, you can't work out a bad diet. You can't overcome a bad diet with bench presses. So he wasn't making the kind of progress he wanted to make. No, you really can't. You need to throw some cardio in there too.

Yeah, fair enough. I feel like you... There are people out there who eat like shit, but just run a lot, and they continue to eat like shit. And it's debatable whether that's healthy. It's probably not. I don't know how you can live on fucking Taco Bell.

It's healthier than doing that and not running healthy spectrum right not as healthy as eating well and exercising but probably better than eating poorly and not exercising and there you go i'm somewhere in that uh that little uh end of the spectrum so i just can't understand now we're i don't want to beat this dead horse again. Yeah, I was thinking about fat people hate. I wrote this down at one point. The whole thing...

You never see a fat horse. But what I was going to say is I feel like here, the positive of fat people hate is it's like a, you own your problem type thing, right? You know,

I like that. I like it. I mean, when I look at my own, you know, battles with weight and stuff like that, I like that. I own it,

right? And it's not something that's outside of my control or whatever. If you put on a couple of pounds, look back at what you ate, you know exactly what the fuck happened, you know, no excuses, no denial, no stories stories accountability to the max i love it but you know like i know fat people and i don't hate them for it you know they have flaws just

like everybody else does and then in my head i made this equivalence like you wouldn't find poor people hate you know like i could come and say we all know the the formula for not being poor like go to school major in a stem right science technology engineering and math get your degree get a job at a you know fortune 500 company and do this stuff spend a lot less than you earn keep accumulating cash and then you'll be wealthy down the road we all know how to do this to that i think the reason that it's different in a lot of people's eyes and i'm still not saying it's right but it's because one of them is just flagrant overindulgence just overindulgence knowing what you're doing is bad continuing to do it

especially in a reality where a lot of people don't even have enough and it's almost like a like i've heard kyle talk about it so i know he is kind of understands that right you know what i mean to me though is both of them are a lifestyle of discipline right you know like every time you eat you get one plate that's it max all the time ever you're done one plate plate. That's it. Max. All the time. Ever. You're done. One plate, motherfucker. Unless it's Christmas or Thanksgiving. And when you eat, you need to be selective about that stuff. You can't have fast food every day.

You know? Prepare something. On a George Foreman grill. On a wok. Prepare something. Use healthier ingredients in this stuff. If you're surviving off heating up pre-packaged food in your hot pockets and your wendy's and all that it's no surprise that you're getting fat right you know dude we all know this and it requires a lifetime

of discipline a lifestyle of discipline and hard work so does money right you know like it if you're broke look at what you're doing you know are you getting your ass back in school? It's fucking hard. You know, there's something about school. Owning your off time is especially a pain in the ass. Right. They just say there's homework. There's no homework from work work. They don't send you home with more shit to do overnight, typically. But school like that's accepted. Yeah. This is what I want you to be doing this weekend. Really?

My fucking weekend. Yes. Really? Your fucking fucking weekend and then after you endure that long enough you go and you get a job and you did it's the right one and it pays well and then there's more discipline on the back end where you spend less than you make and then your money accumulates this is a well-known formula right most the people hearing this will say yeah I kind of knew that, but I don't like doing it. And that's why poor people hate and fat people hate in my head are kind of sort of related. It's just a lifestyle of discipline will get you both. I've never beaten a dead horse, but one time I blew up a dead cow and it was really gross. It was the cow had been dead for like half a week

and it was like full of maggots and stuff. And for some reason I thought it'd be cool to kill the maggots because they just seem so disgusting. So I filled it up with about 15 pounds of tannerite and wrapped it all up in duct tape and kind of just tossed it into the maggot-filled gut area. And then I shot it with my AR-15 and it was the worst smell i've ever smelled in my life

so is killing maggots fly abortion i was waiting for that to turn into like an ancient chinese proverb or some lesson out of that but all you did was blow up a dead animal like you kept saying like and you know i saw it there smelled worse than anything in my whole life the end like so another i'm sorry to keep To wrap up my thing, I know you want to change the topic. I find like, poor people hate kind of distasteful, and I think

there's a parallel to it in fat people hate, I guess. So, in going through Kitty's things, I found these and they look like regular paintballs, but they're in fact re-balls. They're soft and they're like squishy. It's like a rubber ball.

And I haven't shot any through my paintball gun yet, but I think I want to now. You want to see? I do. I'm just going to shoot the wall behind me. The door? Yeah, I'm a little worried it's going to... I don't know if I have any... Do you have a soda can or anything mannequin

yeah a mannequin another gun i know you have one of those close yeah there's dozens but i wouldn't shoot a gun they're very expensive this doesn't are you allowed to use these on people i don't know they have um he said his was squishy but i've seen on youtube they have hard balls that are used for like i guess you shoot them at objects and that's a great target and it has boobs anyway you shoot them and you can keep reusing them i saw a guy get shot with one did you see this video a guy got shot with one. Did you see this video? A guy got shot with a hard paintball? Like a hard plastic paintball? Yes. It was awful. Afterwards, maybe I can find this

on the internet. I'll do that while Kyle's doing his thing. This will be a wonderful video. Kyle, can you use those on people? That won't really hurt. It'll really hurt. It'll really hurt. I really should put a mask on for this. You should.

Good safety thoughts. The rick's shooting really far. Yeah, I can hear it bouncing close to the if you guys had those last couple shots there was no ball he ran out of ammo but it makes nearly the same sound when you're not shooting anything and in the heat of battle that'll mess you up Well, it can mess me up may have shot a hole in the wall I think I see a little divot above the things head. Where would it be? Here go and put your finger in it right above his ear. I Want to zoom it. I know. Enhance. So, for those of you in the car, I actually can't see the hole at all.

Can you, Taylor? Where I thought it was is not. I thought it was to the right of its head, but it's a little more above. So is that just a divot or is an actual hole, Kyle? That's a hole in the wall. That's gonna have to do some spackling, it appears. Well, it was worth it. All the audio listeners got to hear nine pops.

Yeah. And now you have an errand. I have a few holes, actually. Pretty much every impact, we kind of made a real deep dent. That thing's shooting really fucking hard. Those are called re-balls. I think they normally turn the guns down to like 260 feet per second, and I'm sure I'm shooting much faster than that right now.

They use those for indoor play, and then they just rake them up when they're done, so that way you can play in like a basketball gym. Is there a hard kind of ball that they use for like chrono testing and stuff? I thought you told me about it. Oh. I need to shrink my picture. You don't know what I'm talking about because I need it for the search results. Do you remember I showed you that video

and the guy got shot in the arm? It was awful. I don't believe so. I don't recall that. What did it do? Just huge welter. Did it actually... So he shot the guy, and he was a man and a half about it.

He was like, oh, what do you know? And then as if it was a giant pimple, it went through his skin and then kind of under an inch, and he kind of just pushed it back up to where the hole is. That was a rubber bullet. Ooh. Yeah. Do you think it was a rubber bullet? I know it was.

I think it was fired from a paintball gun. I think it was shot from a 9mm pistol or something like that. Would it be able to embed in your arm like that from a paintball gun? I don't know. Kyle's shaking his head no for audio listeners. I don't think that was a rubber. I think it was from a paintball gun. And you were telling me it was a kind of reusable round. I'm sorry. Maybe it was Chiz because Chiz probably has the most paintball experience. He has a lot of paintball experience anyway. More than you might guess. He's played a lot of paintball.

Maybe he was the one telling me about it. Well, shucks. I can't seem to find this video. Yeah, I thought it was a rubber bullet. I thought they were Russian. Because I remember the guy getting shot. I remember it being awful. I just don't remember exactly what they used to do the shooting.

I've seen a couple of those videos like that. I remember another one where it seemed like they were testing a bulletproof vest but i don't know if the bullet went through the vest or just pushed the vest into his chest but he had a hole in his chest when he was done and he was just like he's like give me cigarettes like smoking a cigarette while there's a hole like trickling blood down his chest it's pretty intense they uh they don't fuck around i've been and as silly as that sounds they were using like soft body armor i've been begging everybody to let me test this body armor on myself this that ar 500 body armor is outrageous dude this has been going on for years

like it when we went to that place you know where we drove the trucks and that guy flipped one and everything yeah we were like gathering shoot yourself while wearing body armor tips from military guys like kyle's been planning this out for a long time it's a they won't let me do it because they say it's too dangerous but it's not dangerous at all if i had my way i'd just be like bang bang bang bang does it sound dangerous to you taylor no no don't do it it doesn't sound dangerous at all, Kyle. You sound 100% right. I mean... Why do you want to do that?

Why do you have a hard-on for shooting yourself? I think it would be a good way to promote the body armor. I think it'd be a fun video to see me getting shot, because I wouldn't... I would make it fun, right? Like, I'd want to get some sort of champion shooter, someone who was great at it, and have him shoot me in silly ways. Like, I wouldn't just stand there in front of him and just

like bing and just do it like i'd want there to be like an aspect where i'm like moving around and like trying to like i want to do something silly with it and have like what the hell you're making much worse you can't be yeah what is the shield here i'm gonna be doing matrix like dodging he's gonna try to hit the vest this would be great gonna be doing matrix like dodging The best Like maybe I could hang on to a rope and I like swinging back and forth like like like a pendulum Until you said this stuff. I was fully willing to shoot you now I'm like, I don't really want to be the guy that no wonder nobody wants to help you with this In the chest oh no no no, but'm going to be doing a series of obstacle

courses as this happens. There's a run, swim, jump. It's a whole triathlon of me getting shot. I've got a couple video ideas that require others that it's hard to get people on board for. One of them that I think we're actually going to do, it's just

going to take a little, I've just got to wait until I've got a few more of my licenses done, which has been worked on now, actually, is the Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better video that me and Richard Ryan have been discussing, doing for about a year and a half or so. And it's a musical, and it'd be sort of FPS Rush and Richard Ryan singing to each other in a duet,

and it'd be that song, Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than you. And then the two go back and forth. No, you can't. Yes, I can. No, you can't. Yes, I can.

And Richard's the perfect guy to do this sort of thing with because he fucking halo jumps out of airplanes at 50,000 feet. He wingsuits. His next thing is base jumping with wingsuits. He does high explosives, dangerous weapons, fucking vehicles. If there's something to be done, if there's a cool thing that's

high speed, involves explosions or anything cool, Richard's into it and he's good at it. He'd be perfect for this. I just imagined anything you can do, I can do better. I'm like base jumping or i'm like just jumping out of a plane just doing a regular uh skydiving thing and then he's like i can do anything better than you and he's fucking wingsuiting through like you know a canyon or something and just going back and forth like

there'd be a part where we'd both blow something up or there'd be a part where we both shoot a big cannon or a gun and i was just imagining like like what if like we want to one up each other into the point where like i'm getting shot out of a human cannon you know lots of crazy stuff like that it'd just be a big high effort video that i think would be really funny and i'd get to sing can we do it can we get a sampling of what fps r Russia sounds like singing. Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than you. Gotta go faster than that.

I don't know. I think that's a little. Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than you. No, you can't. Yes, I can. No, you can't. Yes, I can. No, you can't.

No, you can't. Let me hear what he said those are all the words i know we just go back that was also my russian accent yeah did you like it very good very good so yeah um i think that would be fun to do that jump a car you can use your buggy oh yeah i i fucking i tore i think i said the other day i tore the axle out of it again so i think it's beefed up rear think it's a beefed up rear axle It needs a beefed up it's using Volkswagen bus axles it needs a beefed up Transmission I think it's where the

Axel meets The transmission that's where the The weakness is I think it's Partly the bolts or partly the transmission And it needs a better Better transmission better bolts and Better driver maybe Because I'm the one who keeps ripping them out of there transmission and it needs a better better transmission better bolts and uh better driver maybe because i'm the one who keeps ripping them out of there yeah all right i'd have to see how

you did i don't know like i've ripped apart many axles and transmissions and they call it a race car mentality if you guys aren't familiar with this or like you know you make the engine so powerful that the transmission breaks all the time then you beef up the transmission so you're breaking axles all the time and Then you need better tires and now your engine's not as good as it could be. It's always a weak link. My problem's the transmission because the engine is a crazy

scat racing engine. The axles are Volkswagen bus axles and the tires and wheels are both aggressive off-road stuff. It's the tranny. I'll get it fixed eventually. I gotta get some new bolts soon

and then start looking for a transmission. If you combined the getting shot idea with the I can do better idea, that would be really good. That would be great, but you just be standing there coolly and do it. Don't be rappelling from a rock wall or something

getting shot. Don't you think your audience of gun lovers would give you a lot of shit for something like that? Like, I used to respect this guy and now he's just a dangerous maniac. Of course, that's another reason why I don't do it. Because people would take it the wrong way. In my head, it's

saying... You wouldn't want them thinking you're a dangerous maniac. No, of course not. In my head my thought process is this first of all it's just not fucking dangerous it's not it's not it's not it's not because it absolutely is you're getting shot okay so you so which part of it do you think is dangerous you have to explain to me a scenario in which i could be injured while wearing that armor and getting shot that one go ahead it can be difficult to predict where the bullet's going to go after you get shot. I have an answer for that.

Go on. So with the AR-500 armor, they have an anti-spalling coating all over the steel. And what happens is the bullet goes through that, hits the steel, and then all the little pieces, all the little fragments, and I do mean all of them, are captured between this coating hits the steel and then all the little pieces all the little fragments that i do mean all of them are captured between this coating and the steel um it catches all that stuff like i've surrounded the the steel with like balloons like inflated balloons to see if there's anything chipping off and there's just not um it catches everything you know what i was thinking if this happens i think it'd be cool if you wore a jacket not

something too different than what you have on right now and shot through it that do two things one it'd be another layer of anti-spalling capturing little um shrapnel and such two you would have a jacket with a bullet hole from that time you got shot and that's kind of neat too yeah that's pretty cool you know this is the jacket the time i got shot you know's kind of neat too. That's pretty cool. This is the jacket the time I got shot. I used to do crazy stuff. Also, you don't have to tell people that you have the armor on underneath it.

Just have it be a pretty scary video for the viewers. We should just do it in the backyard someday. I'll shoot you and then you can shoot me. It'll be fun. I'm a man of responsibility. I've got kids, man. That's how you describe me. That's actually your line.

We're talking about ultralights. I think that's what it was. And you're like, a man of your responsibilities? Probably shouldn't be getting... I looked into how dangerous they were with accident records and such. Very comparable to motorcycles. So, kind of dangerous, but not... There's a reason you don't have a motorcycle anymore yeah actually that's true and um yeah so anyway ultralight and uh paraglider both of them are very comparable to um the motorcycles in terms of how often people get hurt yeah get

yourself a single engine little like cesna or something something you could put four to eight people in there somewhere in there you'd love it be great it costs like you could get that plane for like 80 85 000 it would cost you five five to ten thousand dollars a year to keep it up but you'd have a plane that you could but you could fly to chicago right now if you wanted to. $5,000 to get your license. I wonder if you'd pick that. Let's say the plane goes 140. I don't know. That's a thing. 140.

And you can go in a straight line to Chicago. Would that be something that I'd be psyched about? Like, yeah, I'm going to take my plane to Chicago. This is going to be fun. There's no security, no bullshit. You're just there in like a third of the the time i'm assuming it doesn't have that much range so i'd be stopping in like i don't know i think you know i think you can do i think you could do chicago in a shot with uh so the planes that we were looking at that were in that class that i just mentioned were like uh it seemed it seemed like I could fly from Atlanta

to Miami in a shot. It seemed like you could fly 300 or 400 miles in a shot or something like that. So I looked up the Cessna 182. I picked it because it wasn't the lowest one. And the range... I don't know who's going to be right. 1,000 miles.

I think you're right. 1,000 miles. I think you're right. 1,070 miles. That's probably a new one, though. You'd want like a 2012 or something like that. The Cessna 182 has been produced a long time ago, and then from 96 to present. Oh, there you go. That makes more sense.

How much is it and it's more than i thought um new it's 400 grand so i would guess that it's not going to be like 80 grand 10 years old like yeah you're gonna want a used plane. Yeah, I might need to step down a touch. Let's do another Cessna. Not 182. Let's do 152. Do these all seat the same amount of people? Cessna is like five or something. I don't know jack about planes.

Oh, here it is. 350 miles is the range on this one. 350, I don't think, makes it. You'd have to have a stop. Oh, but it's really cheap. How much? 12 to 25 grand. Really? I did not think you could get a plane

for $12,000. So that might be like maybe I can shoot a little higher. I don't even know. 172. This would be the last one I look at I'm just saying, I think it would be fun to just avoid all that TSA bullshit don't worry about checking guns, luggage

all that stuff, just throw your stuff in your plane you just do it this might be the one, Cessna 172 ah shucks, I just saw the cost they get high again it goes 140 miles an hour. 736 miles is range. But a new one costs like $289.

That seems like it's not going to get down to like sub 100. Hmm. What about a helicopter? Too dangerous. And a lot more difficult to learn they're more difficult to learn i know a guy who flies one um my big issue with is i feel like you can't go anywhere with it like you don't have a lot of range in it and you can't just put it anywhere i guess the same is true with a plane like could you really go anywhere with a plane you can fly a lot of

places but i mean i didn't know helicopters were way harder to learn than planes. Seeing as how I have very little aviation experience. They definitely are. You can be a passable plane pilot and still get by. But if you're a shitty helicopter pilot, you're probably going to end up killing yourself. I've seen some bad helicopter pilots, or I should say some inexperienced ones and they they quickly would get into trouble like i i've seen a guy almost crash before if you check that link out i sent i see i see these seem to be like in the price range i kind of went for that price range that we're looking at or that i said

so flight design are these like experimental aircraft or i don't fucking know man it's a two-seater it looks cool what he's gonna get one of those that have like the quadruple deck of like the paper wings from 1909 like the guys standing there with their big mustaches next to it i'm trying to share it it. My program's being slow. There we go. Yeah, so these are all like, not all, but they're mostly in that, you know,

80 to 90 range. But they don't look like normal planes to me. No, they don't. They look bizarre. Unfortunately, I'm not, I don't know enough about planes to help you here. I wonder what, like, an acrobatics plane would cost. Unfortunately, I don't know enough about planes to help you here. Hmm.

I wonder what an acrobatics plane would cost. Eh, that's probably not where you start. You probably... What if I get into a fighter jet? I'm like, let's go straight to MIG. Yeah. I know people who have... We've talked to a few people who have fucking Migs and shit like that. Those things are privately owned.

They're probably like millions of dollars. Okay, so... Operating them is crazy expensive. I think that's a big part of the deal. Here's a 1955 Cessna 180 Skywagon. Link it. This only seats two people? Yeah, that last

one that I linked where's the link I'm sorry we got it barnstormers.com airplane talk so which one are we looking at here I was just scrolling through them

they seem to have a bunch of them the 55 sky wagon is that the one you were looking at sky wagon over there for like 130 grand at here. I was just scrolling through them. They seem to have a bunch of them. The 55 Skywagon? Is that the one you were looking at? Skywagon over there for like $130,000. That seems pretty cool. We're in a different one. I see one for $119,500. This one has a seaplane kit with it.

Now you can go aquatic. you can put it on your yacht wait what you sold your yacht right god no it's still for sale what happened did a second buyer fall through yeah

you have a yacht the SS YouTube money you're not familiar with it no no that's that's embarrassing i want to hear about it yes i i do want to would you like me to tell the story kyle i was looking i wanted to get out of some of my state taxes by getting an investment property in Florida. White boy and I were going to throw some money together and buy a house. At the last minute, he backed out, so I sank my cash into a yacht instead, which, legally speaking, had all the same benefits as a house as far as having a...

It could be his residence. So it's in Florida, right? It counted as a Florida residence because of the amenities that it had. What kind of amenities? You know, the bat. Toilet, bed, kitchen.

And a kitchen and those sorts of things. It's not... No, nothing ridiculous. I sailed it once. Sailed it. i sailed it once uh river oh sailed it once i thought you said you were like seldom you didn't sell it sold but i i took i took her out on her maiden voyage it was it was it was a lot of fun to be honest it was a lot of fun sailing the boat it better be fun because that was an expensive ride

expensive ride i don't know 30 35 000 by now35,000 by now with compounding costs and stuff. Because it's not cheap having a boat, I promise you. Let me see what this – hang on. I just need to – and you seem to make sure this isn't like an important email. It seems to benefit – it seems to have something to do with our paintball trip. Does it? benefit it seems to have something to do with our paintball trip does it well about this yacht that you're trying to get away from desperately by looking at your phone what like what inspired you to get it other than just taxes that was it or you were kind of how long ago is this was this like in the the throes of your initial big boom of success where you're like i can get a yacht i'm'm fucking FPS Russia. It's a good year for

a Camaro, an off-roading buggy, a yacht, a factory. You know, you get stuff. It's like half a million dollars worth of shit I bought. It seemed like a good idea to buy the yacht at the time and I totally had the cash so I just did it. I don't think it was that expensive when I bought it. I'm probably in it for like 27 500 plus plus plus uh but i'd be

happy to sell it at this point for just about anything i just like it to be gone it's technically a racing yacht if anyone's interested um it really does go really fucking fast it's it's uh it's a nice what year was this like 2000 when i bought trying to think was it 2008 ish no after that right i bought it in like 2010 2011 something like that yeah i just just throwing out there if you had put it in say the sp500 index you would have doubled your money well i haven't that was one option. Yeah, but I'd have never been a fucking captain, now would I? Fair point. I stay corrected. I'm Captain Kyle.

Look at him. He's the captain now. I got the fucking paperwork upstairs from the Coast Guard, goddammit. It doesn't count unless you have the hat. I have the hat! Please tell me you have the hat nearby. The hat please tell me you have the hat nearby the hat's in the boat oh well as you do yeah i wear the hat off the boat it's actually one of those really

old-timey captain hats like on the like like captain crunch from the cereal box thinking of the big one oh better yet did you get one of those like old timey ruffled captain shirts for you yeah yeah yeah stand on the bow yeah absolutely straight up revolutionary war sailor yeah no i haven't sold my boat yet i should probably check on that i've had the yacht broker's been dealing with it for a while he could be just he could have stolen it by now i should really check on that because i think my debit card that that i was using to pay my slip fees, I think that one expired and I had to order new debit cards from my account. I don't think I ever

got in touch with the yacht club and got all that taken care of. I'm a member of some sort of a yacht club. I don't know. They made a big deal out of it when I signed up a few years ago. That you're a member of a yacht club?

Yeah, I have access to quite a few nice amenities there at the yacht club. There's a hot tub and a pool, and apparently I have a key for all of that. Where's my – is my wallet here? I don't have my wallet, but in my wallet, even though I've only used it twice in my life, I have the magnetic gate key that lets me into all this cool shit down there in Jacksonville where my boat is. Don't go down there.

I've been on the boat twice, sailed it once. I wish it would sink. Meteor, whatever. So it was like 18 grand a pop for the number of times you've used it, right? No. That implies you've used it twice. I've paid $30,000 a pop, and that's

a concern. It was one pop. You used it one time. One pop. I don't think I ever even had sex on it, which was one of my goals at the time. That ties into my thought that we should

take it to the Italian Riviera. I'm not going to have sex with you on the boat, Woody. If you take me on your yacht, I'll have sex with you on the boat. Join the sea level high club. Yeah, I just put like, I don't know, $1,000, $2,000 into the boat maybe two or three months ago, some random upkeep and such. With another $1,000 or $2,000,

I think it would be ship-shaped to go to the Bahamas. If you want to go on a sailing cruise, I'd be more than happy to, but I'm not putting another goddamn dime in that boat. You should be selling it. It's springtime, man. I want to know at one point, how long did you have it

before you knew you had made a grievous error it's not even that grievous error like it doesn't really doesn't bother me that much anymore it's like I lost $20,000 or $30,000 but there's been plenty of instances where I've like fallen ass backwards into as much

money or done the same thing and pissed away the same amount of money it's it comes and it goes but um it was definitely a lesson that i learned and i won't buy another fucking boat ever one thing that's true but that's just life i can't count the number of times i've just blown 30k and then just fall and stumbled even ass backwards into the same amount just whoa money it's it's it's happened a few times it does it does sometimes life's uh life's funny that way but not everyone's life is funny that way the thing is so my life is funny that

way right now too right people be like hey we'll throw you this or throw you that and i'm like ah fuck this is awesome but i've also spent decades living like a normal flipping person and like jackie will be like you know i think we should get two chairs for like you know $2,500 each and I'm like honey do you remember how hard it was to save $5,000 how like you would scrimp and save and like not have a drink with your lunch for years you know which accumulates to just a couple hundred dollars and like it for normal people carving out five grand is a big deal like it doesn't like and i'm like and i'm someday i'll be normal again and i don't want to look back at those chairs and be like ah if i you know if i could have undone that purchase you know that would be a really big deal um i don't know so that those are the things that burn into my head whenever i have

a silly purchase like you know am i gonna look back at it and you know i could i could be a normal person working at cisco again and remembering how hard it is to carve out something like 30 grand worry too much woody if that was your silly purchase your least the one that you don't like more than any other large purchase i want to know what yours much woody if that was your silly purchase your least the one that you don't like more than any other large purchase i want to know what yours is woody like what did you get your big splurge if you've even had one aside from like in the house is something you're living in so that's not a silly splurge the house is clearly the most expensive thing i bought the thing is i'm i mean if things work out and i they do, it'll be a hugely profitable investment.

Like, I have a giant plot of land in a place where you can't get giant plots of land anymore. It's the only one like it in the city of Raleigh. It's really a prime location. And, you know, it wouldn't, I mean, if 10 years from now, if my 14 acres went for half million an acre, like, that wouldn't be shocking to me. Wow. Yeah. I mean, that's the hope.

I mean, anyone can talk shit like this. So, yeah, but you're building equity. So that's a good purchase for you. Yeah. What did you do that you wish you could take back? I wish I could take back. Oh, my God. Dude.

Aside from Jamal. Fucking Jamal. Shit. Just stuff that I I mean, I've blown some money, but it's usually small. Like, just three weeks ago, I wanted lunch and I was like, you know what? Like, I

needed lunch and the place where I planned on going was closed because it was late. It was like 2.30 or something. So I'm driving down the road, and I see Outback. I'm like, oh, there's big signs open for lunch and stuff. So I go in Outback, and I look at the menu, and there's steak for like $24, which is an insanely stupid lunch, right? Do you often spend $24 for lunch?

The whole thing probably threatened $40 for that lunch. And I was like you know what i want that one so i got it you know and uh like stuff like that might happen like every month or two i can't every month or two you go to an expensive one i can picture like i knew this would be your style of answer which is why it's funny as compared to something like i knew you'd be like well i went to chipotle and i got double meat splurged i didn't even finish my burrito so what that fifteen thousand dollar truck that fucking won't work that goddamn transmission what it's like i'm gonna be honest with you i bought extra shoe strings with my last new pair

of shoes i knew i know i shouldn't have but i wanted to get laces and i thought i should treat myself and god damn it if it had just been the bane of my existence that three dollars it's funny the loaded baked potatoes imagine if i'd invested it properly this is a horrible answer because there should be more of these but i tipped a waitress i think it was a hundred dollars it might have been 50 but in my head i think it's a hundred and um basically she was awesome she was a great waitress my wife and i would eat out there like every two weeks or so she started memorizing our orders and she was always friendly and then you could see she got pregnant and she got like bigger and bigger and bigger and um you know she had an

engagement ring on like i assume was a big happy situation but um it got to be like around christmas and i was like i left a hundred dollar tip because she was great. And I don't know. Have you ever left zero dollars? Yeah, but not a lot. Have you ever left like an amount so small that it's clearly an insult? Yes, I've done that too. Like you rounded up to the next dollar?

No, like you give it. Like 34 cents? No, that or 34 cents or even like two, a nickel, something like that. It's pretty rare. It has to be almost like aggressively bad service. Yeah. One thing is, so I hope I'm not a dick about this, but like I care which table we get more than most, right? So if I roll into lunch at 1.30 and the whole restaurant is to your picking

and there's people scattered here and there and I'm like, can I have a booth? The answer is yes. Yes, of course you can have a booth. I like the big soft seats. If they're like, no, we have to put you at a table and it's like, when there's 17 booths open you're asking for a two cent tip baby just so you know I didn't forget it I will write in

two cents do the math but those are different people the person who puts you at the table is a different person than the person who takes your order that's true it needs to be the team you know but it's not always different at like 2pm I had a waitress who smelled once

she smelled like she had shit herself and it smelled so bad that i i was checking my own shoes and the floor about me for dog shit like i was like is that really our waitress is that is that what that smell is is it legit does our waitress really smell like fucking shit and sure enough she did and she was terrible at her job she got our drinks wrong three times in a row like the drink showed up wrong we corrected her they came back wrong again we corrected her and they returned a third and final time wrong like that is a feat what were you ordering? Was it difficult? Iced tea. It didn't show up sweet, and it didn't show up with ice, and there was a fly in it at one point. That's like trying to fuck up iced tea. And I had to argue with my girlfriend.

I was like, I'm not leaving her a fucking tip. She's like, you've got to leave her a tip. I'm like, what for? What does she deserve extra monies for? She couldn't even towel herself off in the bathroom. She smells so bad. They have to be almost aggressively bad.

Like, we didn't get along or something. I tip for this haircut. I think that says a lot. Yeah, that's... It's getting better. Couldn't get worse. Growing in. But I tip for this haircut. It's looking more like Martin Lawrence now.

I think I tipped $3 for the haircut. I don't know if that's a lot or a little, but that's what it was. I got a haircut yesterday. I think I tipped $4 for mine. I'm no Philip DeFranco. No $50 or $100 tips, but

I did keep my hairline. Yeah, Philly D is very successful. I love your haircut, to be honest. Every time I see it, I'm just, I can't believe you let them do that to you. But then the funnier part is that you were then like, now take my son. It was just like, how did you give him your son afterwards they should they should have kept him i don't deserve him anymore what did you say you like when you were like five minutes into the haircut just kind of like looking at it cringing it's like no no no yeah well like

the thing so okay he did this thing right i'm like all right shorten the top keep it long enough to comb uh number two on the back and sides so he shaves like this like i'm trying to see more than this earphone covers right he shaves like pretty much half of my head and then stops and says hey i just want to make sure you like the length as if i could back out like no no no make the other side of four like yeah and uh so you know we agreed to the length which I was fine with I knew what I was asking for and uh but when he the top it just kept getting shorter and shorter and shorter and then like I think he never figured out I wasn't black maybe it was the hood pass that threw him off he's I learned it's squared

up they square up the front where they just like shave whatever not perfect like straightness of annie um they shave the the hair from the front here it's growing in now but it's only so long i don't know if you can see it no i know what you mean my it's not as bad as yours not even in the same city with the same ballpark as bad as yours but when they make this too short and then you have to go like three weeks where you have a widow's peak of like a little tuft that looks awful what do you say and uh don't go back yeah i went black and i'm not going back how's that i went to a black barber and he cut my head like a black guy and he squared it up the top couldn't be combed and it was just awful and and my hair just when it's short like that it just grows straight out like a chia pet and there's nothing you can do

about it and that's that's just the look i rocked and you get what did jackie give you shit when you got home yes she well she thought it was funny and and but she gave me crap about um handing them colin yeah of course you gave them colin next and it's like but so colin and i we usually get our haircut together but i had skipped a haircut so he was in desperate need and that that weighed in on my decision making i uh yeah that's uh that's one of the and it happens a lot i i've tried to get haircuts sorry so here's the thing a lot of times we go we'll gocuts. Sorry, so here's the thing. A lot of times we'll go on road trips or work trips,

and that's when I realize it's like, I need a haircut now. Like, why didn't I get a haircut before? I was so busy getting ready for this trip, I couldn't get a haircut. And so I've gotten my haircut in some really weird, shitty places. I've had an Asian lady cut my haircut in a place where, like, no one spoke English. And there was literally, like, a poster on the wall of, an asian man who looked like i don't know it looked like something from north korea they were they had like a number one a number two and a number three haircuts and i was like she's like what you want and i'm just like i don't know kind of like a

number one with like some number two on the side and she's like oh yeah number two click click and i'm just like whoa so i've had those haircuts, but I've also had. We went to paintball together. Yeah. And we both got our haircut. And I remember it like this. Kyle got his haircut, and he looked good, and he was happy with it, and he tipped a lot. I got my haircut.

I looked bad, and I wasn't happy with it. And I felt obligated to tip the same. And it was just like, shaxx, that stupid haircut. Yeah, I remember that. They butchered you that day. I remember it well. Joe was there. So that was great.

This next trip is going to be fun. I'm looking forward to it. Joe's going to be there again. So I think we all land just about the same time. And then Chiz, of course, arrives by train several hours later. You can't tell when. I mean, it's hard to predict. It's a three-day trip. He could be off by hours.

Yeah. The food is what I'm looking forward to the most. As much as I'm looking forward to playing paintball with our fans. And I've heard they've had quite a few sign-ups. Are we going to Morton Steakhouse? Is that where we usually go?

Brazilian barbecue? I'm so down for that. That's what I was going to say. So the last two or three trips, people have thrown up the idea, do we want to go to a Morton's or do we want to go to a Brazilian place? And Morton's keeps winning. So I've had Morton's three times in a row. And also I paid for everybody's food last time.

Was I on that trip? No, no, you weren't. That's an expensive meal. It doesn't matter, but I paid for a Morton's meal that I didn't want to pay for all of. Usually we do a casual thing, right? If you pay for Morton's, I picked up Brazilian. It all works out pretty close.

It didn't work out this time. I wasn't there. How much was it? No, you weren't there. $450 plus tip. So this time I'd like to do Brazilian Steakhouse because I know I'm going to be in it for like $100 flat and I'm done. It'll be like $80 to get in and then $20 tip at the most and then I know I'll be happy

and you can't get into the $500 range for dinner. It's a good lozang meal unlimited you know what he told me yesterday i was texting and he's like we're like figuring out when we're gonna land and all this stuff and he's like ah i'm thinking about finding a place to train i want to do some training the night before and i'm just like what the fuck i was like i'm all right well i don't want to do any training on friday night so he's like well i'll stick with you guys i just thought man was like jesus christ he's wanting to train on his vacation I don't want to do any training on Friday night. He's like, well, I'll stick with you guys. I just thought, Jesus Christ, he's wanting to train on his vacation.

Woody, if you want to go train with Joe, you're more than welcome. Sometimes when I train with Joe, he breaks me. That's an issue. That could ruin the whole trip. You probably shouldn't train with Joe. That's what I was thinking. I was thinking on one hand, like, ah, that might be fun. I've done it before. I went with him last time we were in Chicago.

He did the same thing. But this time around, I just don't want that. I don't want to be getting tired for one thing. And I would probably end up pulling a muscle or somebody would beat me up. I trained with Joe. I'm sorry. I thought there was a break coming. I trained with Joe in Boston for a couple of weeks.

And I got to see, like, is he teaching lessons and stuff? he's got all these first of all everyone's a great athlete so that sucked but second they do a variation of brazilian jiu-jitsu that they call asshole jitsu and joe has a million little tweaks that he puts on every technique that just make it worse like you know hey while you're talking to a guy tried, like, fucking with his nose a little bit? Like, you know, this is really a jugular choke, but I like to stick my elbow in their spine just because they hate it. And you're like, oh, yeah, that's horrible. That's horrible.

And the whole thing, like's he calls it asshole jitsu and he just finds a way to make every technique less pleasant for his opponent it's awful i hate that part of it i can remember like people trying to uh trying to break my guard and putting their elbows down into the the tops of my thighs and just like immediately i let go like i'm not putting up with that that shit hurts so much when somebody's like grinding their elbow into the top of your thigh when it's flexed and you're trying to keep your legs on them. No, I immediately was like, whoa, stop hurting me. What are you doing? When I trained all the time, I was the opposite.

Like if they weren't trying to hurt me, it was like, where's your A game? You know, like bring it. But me sitting here right now is that brazilian you want to get food that sounds way better yeah i would much rather have brazilian barbecue than brazilian jiu-jitsu on this trip oh how clever of you thank you yeah uh and if and for anyone who's never done brazilian barbecue really quickly basically you've got a little card that's red on one side and green on the other. And as long as you leave it on green,

the waiters keep walking over with skewers and platters covered with different meats. And they just keep coming until you give up, basically. So it'll be filet mignon, and then it'll be like goat, and then it'll be grilled chicken, and then it'll be steak, and it'll... It just keeps going around and around. Every cut is

really good, right? Like, when I hear skewers and stuff i thought maybe it was going to be like crappy food it's not everything they give you is awesome also i went in there thinking that i was going to win somehow like like i'm going to eat so much the people waiters are going to be like i don't know this guy kind of finished us we ran out that's not nobody wins when they go when they come out of that back room they just left a meat smorgasbord there must be like whole animals just stressed up from the ceiling because they're coming out with huge racks of flesh every time and they just bring it out they carve it off right or you can carve it off depending on the place and then they just take that new raw meat and then just go throw it back on the fire or whatever and then you just bring it right back

out again and the salad bar i know like the meat is the main thing but it comes the salad bar and their salad bar is particularly good it's like one of the better salad bars that i've ever i remember kyle told me that and he's not wrong the salad bar was good but i was like you can't trick me i'm not filling up on lettuce and bread. Bring on the filet. Woody's right in this regard. You can go get a bag of lettuce from Walmart. They have lobster bisque. Yeah, you can get lobster bisque at other places.

Very few places bring out unlimited meats for you. I'll tell you what, Kyle. I'm thinking Friday night. Are you thinking Friday night? I want to be starving. Sunday night's another good option we'll see so here's what i don't know if you saw my skype message but when whenever we land uh you and joe are going to take rental car back to the hotel and then meet up with chiz at some point but i am getting picked up by uh the paintball guy and he's taking me to that

gun manufacturing place to tour their facility and look at his Lambo collection and some other stuff. So I'm going to go do that and then meet up with you guys. They said that the guy who owns the gun manufacturing might want

to take us out to like do something that night. So maybe that's what we could go do. I don't know. But I'm happy. You know what? That situation like I'm

building it up to be awful in my head because like here's how I'm afraid it goes down. Like, oh yeah, this is FBS Russia and this is his tag-along friend. You know? There's like no respect. No one wants to talk to me.

I'm not an interesting person. Yeah, this is his tag-along friend. This is his charity case. I'd rather just be friends and not bring along... No, he's telling how many subs you have. He gives a shit on that. Yeah, it's...

I don't know. And then the alternative is like, you know, Couches, Joe and Woody are hanging out or whatever. Going out on Chicago. I can handle it myself. I'm just going to go over there, take a tour of that place.

They had expressed interest in making some rifles for me, like branding some FPS Russia rifles. Right, and imagine me in that scenario. Like, yeah, this is him. He's got these following. He's a celebrity, this and that. And his friend, Woody. It would suck.

I'm just saying, I invited you. You're more welcome. i think it'll be fun you know as long as i don't think it's going to be the nightmare that you think it's going to be but it could be i see your point of view so i don't mind if you guys go on to the hotel it makes perfect sense the guy's showing up in some sort of a i don't know they sent me a picture of the car but i don't really know what it is um it's some sort of this hang on if he has a lambo collection he's probably showing up in something sweet. No, this is a different guy.

It's a Porsche. So the guy that's picking me up is taking me to the Lambo guy's place. It's cool, but I can't recognize the car. It's some kind of a Porsche. I'm sure someone's very disappointed in me that I didn't just nail that. I don't know. So there wouldn't be room anyway. But that's fine.

I'll go do that thing and then we'll meet up for dinner and do that. That would just totally add to the nightmare. Like, yeah, Woody, you're in the back seat of a Porsche. You have to, like the back seat, the way it works is fetal position by the rear view, by the back window. Like you're just cooking back there they'll take you out of the skewer they're talking about putting logos on the guns and what he just pipes and everyone's

like it's pretty pretty nice car you got here the guy's like yeah yeah okay just keep your foot off the fucking you're leaving toe prints on the upholstery. I'll do that and then we'll get some dinner. We could do the Brazilian thing. That would be good. I'm looking forward to it. I want to go to Portillo's as well. Is that the pizza place?

No, that's Lou Malnati's. Lou Malnati's is the pizza place. Portillo's is the Italian beef sandwich place With the hot and sweet peppers And they've got the french fries you dip in melted cheese And they've got really good hot dogs and hamburgers And lots of shit on the wall

I don't know, Portillo's I should have eaten dinner God, I want Brazilian This is so gay We invited you, we wanted you I know, if I could have gone, i would have gone i don't know why you couldn't have did you not get vacation time as a stripper i well you know a lot of demanding clients so to speak i think you're doing more than stripping at this point yeah uh yeah that

sounds like a lot of fun that's cool that joe's going yeah yeah joe got a event i went to he got a paintball kit like like the whole thing as his christmas present like uh like they asked me to help pick it out so i brought in kitty who's an expert on such things and what do you get oh i would have to go back through my messages but it was a pretty good kit my messages, but it was a pretty good kit. Okay. I think it's slightly better than what I have. So, he's in the shape. Yeah, Empire. Remember

Empire stole all that shit back from us that time. They agreed to give us all that stuff, and then there was a whole deal in place, and then they just stole it all back when nobody was looking. Was it Empire or the field? Yes. It was Empire. Wait, how did they steal it all back? It was at an event, so they had reps there, and someone literally went in and just stole our stuff, from what I understand, from Empire. Wait, how did they steal it all back? It was at an event, so they had reps there,

and someone literally went in and just stole our stuff, from what I understand, from Empire. We stored it there so we didn't have to travel with it every time. Yeah. And then, not my, I still have my gun, but we had like kind of a, I don't know how many guns, between three and six probably, so that when guys who didn't make every trip came,

we could equip them nicely yeah and we agreed on a deal where basically like the advertising that that we were pulling like woody and myself was like paying for all of that you know it's like it was paid for that was our equipment like there was a deal in place where like we'll make a video for for you and you'll give us these guns and and it was done and then then Team Art might have been part of it, too. Yeah, and then they just took their stuff back. That's pretty shitty. Did you complain?

Well, how do you... I mean, what are you going to do, call the cops on them? It's just like, well, fuck you. We won't work with you anymore. So I'll shoot my G.O. and my axe. Or it's not my axe. That's an Empire one. Yeah, I have an axe.

That's what I'll be shooting, I guess. I'm pretty... Maybe I shouldn't say this since I feel kind of fucked, i'm pretty happy with it yeah it works fine that's the one that you let me and t-mart use right yeah probably well those are pretty fucking sweet yeah they work fine right great guns shitty people i've used kyle's geo before and while you can feel it's better we've said this before it's like a lot of things in life purchasing like it it's four times as much three times as much whatever and like 15 better like probably if you bought speakers or cars or like a lot of things and like you pay a whole lot to start goodness there's just

diminishing returns it starts to get really expensive you have to be someone who really cares about a 10 advantage how much better is that four hundred thousand dollar plane going to be than the two hundred and forty thousand dollar plane or whatever you know it might have there might be a big tech tech jump maybe that maybe uh maybe that extra money goes to an autopilot or something like that yeah with planes i'm lost but like if you were an autopilot or something like that. Yeah, with planes, I'm lost. But if you were to do mics or something, yeah. Those super expensive ones are just a little better. I'm pretty psyched about my Died Damn, that newest paintball gun,

the one with the Picatinny rails and everything. In making that video I put up the other day about the event, I must have shot it. I don't know. I shot it hundreds and hundreds of times. And I got to know it a little bit better. That gun's bad fucking ass. I'm real excited about playing with that thing.

The first strike rounds in particular just shoot so straight and they're hitting so hard. They were penetrating. Do they have pepper first strike? I'm sure they make them, but I don't have any. That would be pretty awful. I'm not going to see them. Maybe I can get my hands on it. If not use it, or at least just touch it.

Play with it. Because as it is now, the speedball guns are the ones that light my fire. This one is a speedball gun on the inside. It's just built... The way that you run and slide towards a barricade and stuff is more to that gun.

It's heavier. And gun. It's heavier. You get longer and you know, it carries different. It carries like a rifle instead of a pistol. Yeah, it does. I got the stock right here. I've been playing with it. So I'm going to put the stock on and I get my cold remote tomorrow so it'll be a lot lighter then. I won't

be carrying an air tank around. So that makes up for some of that. The air tank will be on my back. Which might be nice. You know, like... Actually, let me... I'll grab... I'm going to grab Kitty's gun, a cup of coffee, and my combat vest that I've assembled for this paintball event, because I think

it's pretty... I think it's... Let me just say... Let me preface showing this vest up. I'll say it when I get back, because I want to make sure it doesn't get... I'll be right back. Your combat vest. You're just trying to ruin the fun of all of these kids who are going.

And I do want to say, like, I'm sure there will be players there that are better than I am. I know Pistol Pete's coming. He makes videos, and I've seen him play. He's an amazing player, great player. There's going to be plenty of great players. I've never said that I was a top-tier professional. I like to pub stomp. I like to beat up on noobs that's my favorite thing when i went to atlanta and played i was overjoyed not because like some semi-pro team was there like like training no because there

was a tiny black child who never played paintball a day in his life and his auntie that's why because like i get to shoot them like like that's what i enjoy so let me go grab this kind of like seeing like a birthday cake there with like 11 on it it's like oh you bastards i got you now uh i remembered so in terms of paintball i consider myself normal you know i'm not one that's easily pub stomped but i'm also not any kind of pro or whatever you know i i know how to take cover and a lot of actually first person shooter techniques moving from cover to cover you know showing only a small part of your body trying to have a smaller target than your opponent like that stuff is

similar um but i remember we went with aviator and there was something about our relationship that was really weird to me like Like one minute he'd be like, what are you such a legend? It's an honor to like, you know, be playing paintball with you. And then other times, what's that?

Exactly. It was weird to watch that too. Cause I noticed it and it, it was awkward. And then like a second later, he'd say like, I come back and I got shot. Right.

Like, you know, maybe I had a paintball mark on my mask or something. He'd be like i come back and i got shot right like you know maybe i had a paintball mark on my mask or something he'd be like you got fucked up and it's like well i got shot i mean didn't we all get shot like just clean it you know no you got done fucked like a bitch like a bitch woody yeah and it was like like why are you so aggressive about this i don't know like didn't you get shot like everyone got shot weird but he wasn't doing anything maliciously he was just it was just kind of a odd dynamic to watch so he wasn't really doing that with

anybody else like if i got shot he wasn't like murka you just got shat on all over the place it was like that well i granted i wasn't famous so that could be why he did do that with me like it's not in my head no you're right yeah it was it was a little weird you might have done that with kyle too he wasn't doing it maliciously he's a good guy it was just it was just kind of odd yeah i didn't know i don't want to badmouth someone because it would kind of hurt my feelings. Like, I don't know. Like, yeah, I died. Can we not make such a big deal out of it?

Why? How come you're doing that? See, I don't think of myself as very good at paintball. Like, when me and T-Mart had the Tippmans, the first trip, we didn't do too hot. We were often behind the same bunker together watching Kyle lay pounds of paint over our heads and kind of just waiting until Kyle gave us a nod that everybody was terrified and hidden. And then we could pop up and shoot a few like, By the time they get to you, people are catching them and throwing them back.

It was awful. But then the next time when I got the axe, me and Trevor were keeping up with you guys, I think. So much of paintball is just the equipment you have and the people you're playing next to. Kyle is legitimately good. I just think I get too impatient

with it. You run out too quick and get shot but i cheated my ass off all the time so that never really stopped me i can't believe i still can't believe you didn't cheat and you walked the whole mile and a half back to their check-in point and me and kyle and trevor we all just walked to the closest tree and bear rubbed against it and played again towards the end i cheated like a couple years later i cheated a little more because everyone did and i felt like the only you know jackass but but yeah and that first year our team was so much better than the other team like we were just and then it wasn't like my doing it was like 700 versus 700 or something so like no one

person was it but because we were so much better if the field was two miles long they were being spawn trapped in the last quarter mile and every time you got shot you had to walk two miles back or maybe even catch a bus but then definitely walk forward again because we were winning so bad that it was ruining people's days where it's like are you kidding me? Now I just got here. Now I have to take a 45-minute trek before I can play again. And it was hot, and you know,

like, you loaded up with paint and stuff. It was a lot of exercise to do that. But, um, but yeah. And then towards, like, the most recent year we played, like, people would be yelling, like, MEDIC! And if you don't know know a medic can heal someone who didn't have a headshot and then they like write down their number i think they only have

so many heals i'm not certain and they have to like get to you and a medic can be shot out from cover i'd be like you're good yeah i'm not even a medic i'm just like telling people that it's cool. And depending on the person, some of them would be like, thanks, man. And other ones would be like, no, you're not a medic. Nobody. I can't imagine. What kind of, you know, ivory pedestal sitting fuck are you if you're like, no, I will not.

I will not take your unmedic healing powers. Like, no, I will not. I will not take your unmedic healing powers. I'm going to walk back and ruin my day and get sunburned and have to carry this heavy gun and a bunch of paint that's just the whole two miles back. If I didn't cheat, that wouldn't have been a very fun trip. It was brutal. It was brutal.

But yeah, I later learned. I wouldn't cheat if 90% of the other players didn't cheat too. I would follow the rules. But it was brutal. It was brutal. So I think I prefer being on the bad team. Yeah, because then you're really close to your paint. People are coming at you, so you find a good spot in in your corner and then you just kind of pick them off but yeah that was a really good time yeah i haven't

paintballed since then my favorite paintball trip ever was one like we're about to do like i think it's a lot more fun to play like 20 on 20 or even 6v6 or something than it is to play like 700 v 700 yeah yeah definitely it's out of the same impact it's hard to like move forward and like do anything i just kill a bug and it wasn't like there was always like a front for you to go fight on it was like sometimes you'd be walking around for 15 20 minutes it doesn't sound like a long time, but when you're sweating and there's that just foggy mess in your glass and you can hear yourself breathing, walking around like that for 20 minutes without even the threat of someone shooting you, it's kind of bullshit and annoying. It is. Or the front, I also find to be somewhat bullshit. Like if it's 100 v 100 in one spot,

like you're just hiding as paint is flying over and the second you show anything like 30 people shoot at you that's a tough spot too all right kyle what do we have here yeah so i had to have a lunatic yeah absolutely let me just say that like i normally think that like tactical vests and stuff are silly because it's like, when do I need to shoot something and then quickly get more magazines? I haven't been in too many real-life battles. Here we are. But yeah, here we are.

So I actually need this. I need two batteries. What size? He needs two batteries. For what? Remote. Oh, for the remote? Here. I'll hook you up.

Sounds like a double A situation. It is. It does. Kyle has new glasses. His hair looks better than yours. Show everyone how awesome you are. Come closer. You're out of focus.

Here's my boy. Very nice. Two batteries. He got off easy from the barber shop compared to you. Right? He did. Dogs, you can't be all these dogs. Any way, kind.

Okay, so this thing's got double magazines all over it. I've got one, two, three, four. So I've got these double magazines that hold uh 40 each so 10 20 30 40 rounds i put some friction tape on them so they would stay in the pockets and i cut all the elastic out of the pockets because it was just making it slow to change mags but i got two on the front and three on the front and one on the back and i got my air on the back and uh i thought those hold first strike rounds or something else uh first strike rounds or uh regular paintballs but they're gonna have first strike rounds on them that's pretty cool don't shoot once shoot twice double tap all right are they a sponsor or just a cool patch

that's just a funny patch i thought it was extra funny for paintball. I guess so. I didn't put that together. How much ammunition is that holding all loaded up and how much is that going to weigh? It doesn't weigh much at all. It really doesn't. I think I'm holding, let's see, so 1040. I'll be able to hold 160 rounds of first strikes.

So, I mean, that's $60 worth. Hopefully I don't shoot that much every time I go out. You probably will. You shoot a lot. So, yeah, that's going to be fun. Oh, and on the back of the vest. Professional. There's no Russian patch?

I think I've got one somewhere. I think there actually is a patch that someone else made that they gave me one time. Whenever you want one, I have new topics. If the time is right. Is that the small pistol? Yeah, this is a paintball gun uh that's 40

43 caliber it looks like a walter p99 a lot like one um and just to get an idea of how tiny those paintballs are like they're going into there into this magazine so they're about the size of that part you see on the end. Have you been hit by those before? Never ever. I didn't even know these existed really. I certainly didn't know that they were cool like this and that they were blowback and

all that stuff. I'm going to put this one in a holster and put that on my molly vest so it's literally going to be like here or something so that I can like reach back and grab this pistol and if there's like a coup de grace moment where like someone's not paying attention and I've

snuck up behind them and it's just like look at this asshole he's looking the wrong way I'm totally going to like whip this out and like fucking twirl it a few times and just shoot somebody in the butt or something like up close because these won't hurt nearly as much. And the slide goes back and forth as you shoot? I've never shot it before, but I think it does, yeah.

That's pretty sweet. So, yeah, that thing's going to be funny. And then I'm carrying two fucking pistols. I just, I just, I'm bringing a lot of equipment. You're going to have a rifle and two pistols and, like, a couple of, you're ready for the SWAT team. And a grenade? Yes, there's actually a grenade pocket on the vest.

It's right here, yeah. I think if you die, you should drop it like martyrdom. Just kill anyone nearby. All your teammates are pissed. I was strongly considering buying

a paintball grenade launcher, but they're about $500 to $600 and they're very cool. Or like one month's slip fees. Don't even remind me. I don't know. Just don't.

Woody, you'll be in that same boat soon if you keep eating $24 steaks for lunch. Yeah. Yeah, Woody. It's hard to match a boat. Yeah. It really is hard to match a boat. Did I buy anything? I don't know.

We got good Wi-Fi access points for the new house. I don't think that's quite boat, though. Got my own coffee cup. Keep calm and carry. Yeah. These are actually good cups all right um i will let you guys pick the topic oh uh do you want to ask your maybe maybe i should keep my mouth shut but do you want to ask your new question that you have come up with or do you want to save that until it was gonna be for guests okay let's save

it then no worries okay all right write it in the chat i didn't i wasn't informed of the new question i came up with the question on my own it's a woody original and i think it is so awesome that i can use it again and again for with each guest and it's this well i don't want you to waste it if you i can type it on music okay you know what why don't we get the next topic cooking and then while somebody rolls i'll type it okay yeah professional radio that's how we do it who do you think living or dead has the most overrated attractiveness who is cleopatra i've heard she has double chins and everything i don't know any pictures yeah she was supposed to not be very attractive but i think it's almost come full circle

where like every time you bring up cleopatra someone in the group will be like she wasn't actually pretty she was actually kind of a sow yeah right she was a hand beast like yeah it's come all the way full circle you know okay fair enough so we'll remove that one I guess it's no that's a good one too but I'm just I'm trying to think of something I'm good Queen Elizabeth you know the one the the Queen Elizabeth who was 70 the other one you silly goose I don't know the other beautiful like who's is it the first who oh god you're thinking of diana by the way right i am princess diana is you're not thinking no i'm totally talking about elizabeth like from the elizabeth in the period or whatever like the one the one

who uh was super influential on history that there's like movies made about all kyle's examples are like i think this woman is overrated who was from before pictures yeah this is all like shit tier painters wasn't this from history isn't that said living or dead i i thought this was a history question i i see how you got there and i don't mean to jump on you too harshly uh like in my head like angelina jolie comes to mind. I think you're just wrong about that. Oh, I've got a better one. Better than her. Steven Tyler's daughter is often held as like this.

I think you're wrong about that, too. Liv Tyler's hot. No, I'm on Woody's side for this. What if she's wearing the Arwen get-up, the makeup and everything? That adds three points, but we're not talking about that. I'm talking about that. She speaks in Elvish. she's a nine out of ten. She's fit. I'll give her that.

From the neck down, I don't really have any issue. But she's disformed almost. Her mouth is so large. Disformed? That's so disformed. Yeah, she's her father's daughter.

Yeah, right. I think the lips are daughter. Yeah, right. Pointy thumbs. I think they're sexy. I like them. I think she's super hot. I think you're wrong here. I think they give her roles that don't talk much because when you see what's going on with that whole lip thing,

you start to think of her differently. She's the first pick I have in my head for overrated attractiveness. She's just funny looking. That's a good one. Because, Kyle, you're not being honest if you're saying that you think she's like Stone Cold Fox. Like, she's decent looking, but she's not...

I think her face might be better than Jessica Alba's. No. That's... There is something a little off about i don't think jessica alba's just albis face though yeah really i don't know if i've ever looked at her face dark angel like i'm familiar with what this girl looks like and i just think she's she's kind of fugly uh at times i mean she's not she's not a model of perfection i shouldn't have said fuckley yeah you dick yeah sometimes jessica jessica beal like both of them i i'm like i wonder they are much hotter i feel like so hot i agree that like i wonder what the daily version of them looks like right like the one that rolls out of bed in like period panties and whatever are they

still mega hot yeah really this is what living with a woman is like you guys have both done this i know but rolling around in what you're making it sound like is just open blood everywhere i'm not going for that i was just going for like you know like a frumpier fitting panty and uh you know like just like i wonder what is it still amazing probably not as good probably but still you get the feeling of like i know what they can look like so you have the benefit of the doubt do they have like a hint of cellulite when they're not filming you know like like i i know ufc fighters on weigh-in day look like craziness of like perfect athletic specimen but you catch them you know they literally have like 15 pounds of fat and water 20 pounds of fat and water

that they they shed for that day and they don't look like that all the time i imagine actors and actresses are you know primed for their bikini days too. Do you think that Jesus had the kind of six pack that everybody seems to think? Because he's portrayed as a very attractive gentleman from history. Always very ripped. I hate it so much when Jesus is blonde and has blue eyes

in depictions. It's just like where do you think they were? Why is Jesus the only blonde haired blue eyed you think they were? Why is Jesus the only blonde-haired, blue-eyed motherfucker in this picture? Why is he surrounded by all these Jews? Why does he not look like the... What did he look like? He's Jewish, and he lived in Egypt, right?

He would have olive-colored skin. He'd have a short-cropped afro. That's what Jesus looks like. He looks like he looks like uh probably short hairy arms bad at sports you know uh i i think that's awful i think he would be good at sports i feel like i feel like he'd have like some you know some super abilities that he could apply to to whatever kind of backyard boyhood games they played. Wow. So I googled what would Jesus really look like, and I'll share it with the YouTube listeners.

Have you seen those other pictures? It really describes what Kyle was talking about. Like Jerry Seinfeld, but more Jewy? This is what Jesus would have really looked like, according to Google. They're making him look like the missing link from a documentary from 2003. Or perhaps one of the 9-11 hijackers

that we never knew about. If you saw this image and they were like, this is Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. It turns out he was one of... You're like, oh, okay. I hope they get him. I hope they get him. Bastard. Sorry about the cameras. Let me fix this.

Have you seen those other ones? If, if you look up, like, Black Jesus or, like, Korean Jesus. Like, all these churches from other places in the world that change Jesus even more. That's hilarious. Because Jesus was not Korean. Okay? Like, I would never presume to make Buddha a Caucasian. Like, imagine a big white Buddha.

Or a big black Buddha. That's even funnier. Man, you can't do that. It's like Santa Claus. Santa Claus is white. I remember there a big black buddha that's even funnier man you can't do that it's like santa claus santa claus is white i remember there was some lady on fox news that was having to complain because she said she made some statements she was like but santa claus is white santa claus has always been white it's just a fact and i was like but wait isn't santa claus white like saint nicholas would have been a white, it really doesn't make sense to have a black Santa Claus. Santa was definitely white. I mean, if you want to make a black Santa Claus, that's cool, but don't call him Saint Nicholas.

Call him, like, Saint Rufus. I was totally waiting for you to go racist on it. Don't call him Saint Nicholas. Call him... Saint Rufus. Oh, I know what Woody was thinking. Like, on Jamal! Oh my god. You're literally whipping as you joke.

Or the reindeer! The reindeer would have the name. I wouldn't have... What, you think St. Rufus' sled would be pulled by slaves? Now that's racist. I didn't even think like that. I was thinking of reindeer. I know exactly what Woody was thinking. But it wouldn't be reindeer if it i was thinking of reindeer i know exactly what he was

thinking but it wouldn't be reindeer who else is overrated in terms of attractiveness you got anyone hillary swank though i well that's she's always just kind of uh anne hathaway maybe kind of like i really like her but she's thought of as being super hot and i'm like i think she is super hot i've seen her topless in a few things too that's a thing too she did so many children's movies she had to like break out of that state you know casting so all of a sudden she's like a sexual deviant yeah I like that fine with yeah I like that too I don't know man just the thought of sexual deviance makes me look forward to Game of Thrones I'm trying to think of other people

this is difficult I'm trying to go historical but when there were still pictures around not that much history with pictures when you think about it pictures are fairly recent they are these are facts oh it is time for our

mid roll yes it is once again in case you guys didn't hear us the first time this episode of pink already is being brought to you by two very special sponsors the first of which is squarespace the all-in-one platform that makes it fast and easy to create your own professional website portfolio or online

store for a free trial and 10% off, visit squarespace.com and enter the code TKA at checkout. What are you guys laughing about? Yeah. I guessed exactly what he was going to say. Awful human you are. Beg it.

Alright, sorry. Continue, Kyle. Plans start at as little as $8 a month, and they include a free domain name if you sign up for one year. Taylor, tell us all about our most favorite sponsor, Dollar Shave Club. Oh, well, so much to say. It's a great, great product that you should purchase. And as I said before, don't cheap out. Do I have to read the

whole thing again like is that yeah yeah go ahead okay all right read it again and add spice and flair and spice and flair yeah acting if you listen to our show you've heard us talking about dollarshaveclub.com for a while now we love their razors. We're paying a fraction of what we used to pay, and we get all the fantastic shave. Honestly, though, the first time I heard about Dollar Shave Club, I was more than a little skeptical. A great shave from a razor for a few bucks seemed too good to be true. There had to be a catch.

But even then, I tried the razors,ors and no joke they gave me the most amazing shave i've had in years and i've shaved for not as long as these other two but in years my skin felt like silk incredibly soft kyle what's something soft your skin would feel like hmm little family feud moment here uh a baby's ass? I already said it. Oh, goodness. Ooh, I'm sorry. As smooth as a one-wipe Charlie. As smooth as a one-wipe Charlie.

Yes, great. Double advertising. It'll pop up. Zero respondents said one-wipe Charlie. I pay triple the price when you can get a fantastic shave delivered for just a couple dollars you don't have to that's my answer to that you're an idiot if you do you're going to

go to the store and buy expensive razors that are shit to your quality when you could have someone some peon from the postal service bring it to you as you sit there and you know do whatever you want you'd be an idiot to keep overpaying is what chis thinks about you don't be fooled by the affordable price these razors are legit and you will never go back and honestly because like every podcast i do listen to like they have these as a sponsor until i got it i really didn't think they'd be high quality razors and they really legitimately are like in all seriousness these are high quality they're nice they make your skin feel just so so wonderful i like the aftershave uh the aftershave stuff it's oh yeah it feels nice yeah I actually haven't tried that yet I need to try it did you get like that home alone like

like that feel a little bit but in a different area oh in your genitals yeah that seems really unpleasant to put all over your scrotum following a fresh de-hairing it's a it's a good time it's yeah well they also have uh dr carver's easy shave butter it's phenomenal if you're still using old-fashioned shave foam i feel bad for you get rid of that shitty two dollar can that you buy get something better that you don't have to go to the store for become Become even more of an invalid who has everything brought to them. That's what you need to do.

I think you can masturbate with the butter, just saying. You absolutely can. I mean, I don't know. Who knows? Plans start at $3 a month and signing up takes two minutes. There's no membership fees and no commitment. Plus, they have a money-back guarantee. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

And get two plans, you cheap fuck. Get one for your genitals and one for your face. You don't want to use the same one for both. You want the $3 razor for your junk. Yes, you want the cheap plan for your junk. With five razors, you got enough girth there that when you try getting certain

areas, for me it's a lot of nooks. Kyle's a cranny fellow so you're trying to get that it's dangerous because as i said these are high quality razors and you'll slice your nutsack right open have one of those bad boys dangling out so just get the one razor three buck a month one for that area of your body and get the high quality bentley for the other i'm thinking to myself like let's say that you're in a, like, you're married or you're living together or whatever. You might be able to do two plans for the two of you, right? Like, you could have a below the waist

or below the belly button kind of razor and a face razor, right? See, Woody went right, he extended it up to the belly button for all of these, because he likes the, what do you call it? The happy trail. He's thinking about that happy trail girl from the rafting trip.

That was so gross. That was hot. It was so nasty. This girl had a happy trail and he was, oh. Yeah, no. I still don't understand how you, you're just trolling, Woody. You're absolutely trolling. No, no, you had to see her.

She was fit and she was like a rafting guide as a profession. And she had a happy trail and the whole situation to me just she looked I don't know, like somehow it exuded a certain like

masculinity that you found irresistible. It appealed to 30% of you, so to speak. I don't want to say masculinity but it was more like a like i i just pictured a girl with a happy trail to be a little more like down like a little more like in savage or or um down yeah it's probably someone who doesn't get down that much otherwise they wouldn't have a happy trail I suspect she's not a prissy lover she is an equal in the sack

is that what you want? you want her to be slapping you around her taking the reins and pushing you about that's not what equal means I know but yeah it just like the happy trail somehow just to me, like resonated as a sort of like

that, that, that chick fucks, right? It doesn't make any sense. That shit fucks right. Yeah. Dear God. That's, I did not. You gotta be able to hang. I can't have some.

I thought she was good looking. I thought she had a nice body, but she had a happy trail. And it was just like you could wax that right off and it'd be gone and it'd be over. But you have chosen not to. And it was dark. She had as much of a happy trail as I do. It was dark and curly and thick. What do you got going on down there?

I actually shaved it kind of recently, so not too much. I would think that she had less than kyle but but it wasn't i mean it was there it was it was for real but it didn't look like a guy's happy trail to me it was a girl's happy trail yeah this happy trail would have would have totally fit on a guy like like it was i mean it would fit on some guys you just wouldn't it wouldn't be a remarkable guy's happy trail well no she wasn't like a big beer bellied 45 year old man or anything but she had way too much goddamn hair for a 22 year old girl was it kind of wispy too was it like some dark hairs and then a lot of wisp

long hair it was dark brown oh there's just something casual about it, man. Yeah, there was. Like a hobo shitting under a freeway. That kind of casual. Woody looked to those people, too, and bet that guy fucks right. You know, fuck's going to turn around. Look at his stance. Nice and wide.

A lot of power in those thighs no i i feel like you know like these are thoughts i shouldn't even have right but it's for the show so it puts you in a weird like normally these aren't things you vocalize but um but yeah that chick fucks right i know it i suspect it i don't know it sure she probably does i i could see that i just i just felt like she it looked the word that i came to my mind was unkempt nah it's like part of your hygiene as uh if you look like her should be dealing with that like it just should like if she had a if she had a big unibrow or like hair growing out of her ears or like hairy knuckles like the same thing you would you would expect her to take care of ears or like hairy knuckles like the same thing you would you

would expect her to take care of that or a mustache or anything like that but this was the happy trail was yeah i'm with you on the mustache did she she didn't have any pit hair right she had nothing i think they were unshaved like i think that they were like i thought i think she had hairy pits well are you into that woody because that that's on the same... I'd need to see it. That's in the same ballpark. If it's like mine, which is like a full-on adult male thing, then I'm not into it. No, any amount. It would have to be really subtle. What do you like, getting in there and licking?

Like doing circles with his tongue on her? Licking armpits is rough because they're usually either... Deodorant? That's the second option I was headed to. The first one is they're usually either deodorant like they that's the second option i was headed to the first one is they're not perfectly clean the second one is they taste like deodorant if you've ever licked deodorant it is like a special kind of chalky like awfulness and it immediately dries your mouth out like it's just parched instantly and most of the like let's say hypothetically you slept with your mouth open you you wake up with a dry tongue. Probably everyone's had that.

You shut your mouth and it's instantly not a dry tongue anymore. Like, you're cool. If you deodorant your tongue, you're like, this is an unsolvable problem. Yeah, it sucks. It's really bad. It's not a good thing to do. So I don't really like armpits much because they're typically deodorant on them. I held a ticklish girl down one time.

She just got out of the shower, and I knew she didn't have any deodorant. I held her down and licked her armpit because she was super ticklish, and she was just screaming. It was great. Yeah. That's adorable. If it was a subtle enough armpit hair or the Happy Trailer, whatever, to some extent, armpit hair, or the happy trailer, whatever, to some extent,

I like women. That, to me, is a little bit of what an adult woman looks like. You know? It doesn't scare me off one bit. It doesn't scare me off. I'm not like, oh, my masculinity's threatened.

Look at the size of that bush. It's just not into just like it's not it was too much yeah she looked pretty strong too she was very fit she looked like not only she looked like she might just pull a dick out of there and and surprise you like that could easily happen as well like she was she was very fit she picked it she was picking up like a six-man raft and carrying it on her head. Dude, I found, I think, God. You find a picture of her? Not of her, but I Googled female happy trail. Tell me if you think this is representative of what she looked like.

JauntyDame.com. Oh, it was more than that. All right. So I'm going to share this and unshare because I'm afraid of what this Google search. So Kyle thinks it was more than this. I think it was approximately this. That's still too much. Oh, man.

I'll keep searching. I had the footage. I was looking at it today. I should go through and try to find her. Get a still shot just of the midriff area. I'm sure i have it send it to woody i googled female happy trail and some of these are clearly guys oh here's a guy in uh women's underwear well link not a problem uh no i don, I don't.

No, no. You asked. You're clicking. Oh, that was a mistake. That happy trail picture, there's not a lot of female happy trails to compare. No, because most of them would stand in the mirror and be like i gotta get this situation under control because i have a job where i don't wear something that covers this and if you know that if she had that going on that the downstairs was just a bramble of gnarled roots and vines

um i don't really mind that. No? You'd be down totally all natural? Well, a cleaned up all natural. Not just like live and let live down there. Just a little more

a little bit of upkeep. Get a design going do a giraffe um shit well that that is the only happy trail picture i think that approximated her happy trail um and it yeah and like you said a little upkeep a little okay maybe full-on landing strip yeah it was uh it was not a good look for her. I didn't think so then, and I don't think so now. I will stand by that. I remember us all thinking that, overall, she was pretty hot,

and that was just to sum a flaw. Who is us? You and Chiz agreed that it was acceptable. That's what you mean. And you. I think you and Chiz both that it was acceptable. That's what you mean. And you. I think you and Chiz both thought the happy trail was something you could overlook. And I thought it was maybe even a bonus. But then again, I'm at least halfway gay, I think, by now.

Yeah, good God, Woody. We're going to get on this show one day, and you're going to have your ticket pass the 50% point and then it's going to be... It's going to be real awkward for everyone. You're just going to be on camera with Dr. Chiz and you're both going to be wearing those hats. Yeah. We'll train together to...

Speaking of gay sex, have you seen the new season of Trailer Park Boys yet? No. No, you mentioned this last week and i still haven't you guys really need to get on this i'm telling you that it's it's as outrageous as any season of that show has ever been it really is it's great um the the relationship between randy and mr lahey is disgusting and weird as ever uh Ricky is just as fall down. He's just as much of a piece of shit as he always has been.

His daughter is pregnant, which is great. And it's just white trash moment after white trash moment. It's hilarious. I think it's the 10th season, maybe the 9th. It was awesome. Do you remember that? And it's on Netflix, you said, right?

Yeah, yeah. I think there's 10 new episodes. Remember that paintball video I couldn't find? Mm-hmm. I just now thought of a new search string and found it. What is it of? I don't recall. This is a sharer.

This is a sharer. I just saw it again. We must watch this as a team. And you were right, it is a sharer. This is a sharer. I just saw it again. We must watch this as a team. And you were right. It is a paintball. Oh, Jesus. I'm right about it being a paintball gun. I think it's not paint. It's something... He's shooting some other kind of projectile.

Are we ready? Are we queued up at zero? I am queued up at zero. I am queued up at zero. Murga? Yep. Ready? Set. Play. There's a guy aiming what looks like a paintball gun at a guy who's standing by a fence. It's the second shot.

I don't think there's any protective wear on the face. There's one in the arm. Oh shit! Not even a hit up from the arm. Oh shit! Not even a hiccup from the guy. Not even a reaction. He hasn't moved an inch. The guy who shot it went, oh! Watch. Oh! Jesus, that looks...

Oh my god. Right? There's like a big gaping hole in his arm. A paint bit 68 millimeters. Look at that. You fucking missed it. Dog it. That's disgusting. Let me see.

Why in God's name? What? That's actually the paintball gun that I'm using. Is it really? No. Yeah, that's what mine does. It left a hole in his arm large enough to put your thumb in. Yeah. That's just what my gun does.

I think he wasn't shooting paint. It must have been chis since Kyle doesn't remember that told me about it. But there's a kind of round. I think it's used for chronographing sometimes. It's reusable. So it doesn't explode on contact. You just, like, sweep it up afterwards. That's what these are, these things I've got.

But I don't the ones you have are squishy right in watching the way that one came out of his arm i'm not sure that's what that was well that was definitely not a squishy it was like you know like it was a marble squishy is relative i mean they're a lot harder than, that's as much as I can squish it. Wait. Wait, where's the other one? I could have sworn you easily squished one earlier. I mean, I don't... Demonstrate again.

I could have sworn you made it flat like a... That's about all I've got. Like, I can't... I mean, if I do it like that, I guess. But, like... I could have, if I do it like that, I guess. I could have sworn that you mashed it like a nerf ball. It was comparable to me like an earplug. Oh, no. Why did you still shoot that at your wall then?

Why not? He made a hole in his wall. What is it going to do to me? You want to find out? No. I already found out. I just watched a YouTube video on it. I bet a listener wants to find out? No. I mean. I already found out. I just watched a YouTube video on it. Yeah.

I bet a listener wants to find out. I'm sure it won't do anything. What am I, Jeremy? Yeah. I can't get in touch. Jeremy called the other day. He called Teddy, and he's getting a new job or filing for some government assistance or something. I'm not really sure which, but he needed to know what his job title was when he worked for me.

And that was a real funny... Yeah, what was it? Well, we sat around and joked around about it. I was like, what about administrative assistant or manager of daily operations? I was like, maybe we could give him some ridiculous title. I was like, we could have some fun with this.

And in the end, I think he just made up his own title because he never called us back. Senior Business Overlord. Yeah. Tester, R&D. There was all kinds of ways we could make him seem like a fool or seem like he was really qualified or like he'd done

something cool. We were having some fun with it. Oh, I know what I wanted to talk about. In getting prepared for this paintball trip i've bought a bunch of cameras uh i've got a gopro 4 and i've got a hero 3 and i've got the the replay hd the one that does 10 uh 1080p at 60 frames per second uh and i got so many mounts and uh and and all these accessories for batteries and such so i've been thinking about doing some hidden camera videos to my trash man it turned and we've been discussing the

possibility a couple different possibilities one of them um that i thought was funny because i'm just an asshole was i was going to capture a possum and then hide the possum in a box and put that in the trash so that he would basically get attacked by a possum um the other one uh was and i feel like i'd have to build it up over time because they suggest that so you got to keep in mind this guy thinks that i'm some sort of an inventor some sort of like doc brown character like he's mentioned to me a few times that he's like what you need is to work on those drones but with rockets you know like that r2d2 thing you know that's what you need you should show

me a video yeah oh i should maybe that's step one so so here's what i'm thinking would be hilarious if i did this to him over time because i would like to convince him that I'm a time traveler. So at first someone said, just just just run outside with like soot all over you and like a like a white coat on and goggles and your hair's all blackened and be like, what year is it? And I'm just like, no, he'll never fall for that. is it and i'm just like no he'll never fall for that like like he's gullible and he's a man he's a bit slow or whatever but like he's he's not a moron by any means like this is a regular human being uh so so i was like we got to build this over a few weeks so i'm thinking step one is i mentioned my big project in the basement something i'm working on this new machine i'm making and maybe the next time around i mention it again and i show him a picture

of a time machine that i've had like photoshopped together and then over time i keep talking about it and if i ever get him convinced then i could totally come out with like like like some makeup and stuff and pretend like i've been in like the 15th century for like years what year is it and he's like oh i can just imagine oh lord we've got to go back we've got to go back and get kitty she's in 15th century france come on and then if i have a bunch of different outfits like a powdered wig or something like that just i'm just imagining like if i could actually get this jackass to jump in some sort of a cardboard fake machine, and then we could just shake it and make some noises, like, it'd be funny to fuck with him. But I'd be interested to hear anyone else's ideas on pranks I could pull on the trash guy.

I do still think that maybe body parts in the trash would be really funny. That would be funny. Also, could get in trouble. Not like actual trouble but it could maybe ruin his day and yeah he calls the police and then they have to waste their time and you have to find someone that is stone cold retarded for this to work like there's no no middle ground here this guy's a little you know he's he'd be gullible i think i'll just leave it at that i i feel like i i don't think there's anything wrong with him i you know he's he'd be gullible i think i'll just leave it at that i i feel like i i don't think there's anything wrong with him i just think he's the sort of guy who

i could convince that i have a time machine there's nothing wrong with him i could just convince him of something totally ludicrous what i really wish is that i had i wish i had a time machine or at least something that looked like a time machine like i wish i just had some crazy door you had to twist something and open it up and get in. There was an episode of The Howard Stern Show where they got... I think it was... They put a retarded guy in a cardboard box and then they shook it and made some noise and told him he had just traveled to the moon. And he believed them.

So he's in the box. He's like, ah! he's like ah there's lots of flashing lights there's lots of flashing lights i don't know they're like you're going to the moon you're going to the moon and he really believed that he had went to the moon in a cardboard box so an actual retarded person they did this to him they call him um oh what is it eric i think it's eric the retard right no no no there's another eric as well so there was eric the actor who the who was the midget he died there there's high pitched eric he's like 42 years old and so i think he's feeble uh when

they tested him i think that was his score it came out like 64 IQ. But there's another guy who I'm not thinking of right there. It's like something... They call him the Conqueror now, but they used to call him the Retard. But he's literally retarded. Big upgrade. Yeah. Yeah, there's... But they convinced him that he went to the moon in a cardboard box.

That was great. Recently they had... They did a story about... They did a story about bigfoot who's another one of the whack pack guys and he's got this transsexual girlfriend and that story that was hilarious like they followed them around for a few days and like took a look at what that life was like bigfoot's another guy who's i'm pretty sure he's mentally retarded and uh he's like a giant guy who's just i don't know he's got he's got a

few when you hear him talk you it's it's it's interesting it's uh i really like the howard stern show when i'm not listening to game of thrones i'm i'm listening to stern game of thrones has completely taken over my like audio experience but it's almost like anytime i'm not listening to it i i have to keep up and get going. And Kyle, I guess, has been listening a ton because he's... No, actually, we've been listening the same amount as I think about it. Do you find yourself thinking in narration sometimes? Because you'll just have it running for hours and hours.

You'll be like, into Chipotle he walked. Feeble with hunger. Actually, yeah, sometimes stuff like that does pop into my head if i have 14 and a half so i'm within 14 hours of time we've been listening the same amount because i've been hovering right in that that range um i don't want to spoil anything see here's the problem like it becomes difficult for us to discuss this anymore because we're going to be book readers and not show watchers anymore. Because there's something I wanted to talk about that I'm wondering if it's going to be in the first episode. But I guess I should say it's the situation that John finds himself in

at the end of book three. John, I just listened to the scene with the big battle. It was much better in the show They densed it down into one big fight And they made certain parts of it more meaningful And they made deaths more meaningful And it was a more Hollywood style thing The way he wrote it is more like an account

Of how an actual battle might have gone where it's kind of like all details and it's like yeah there's a raid one night that doesn't really last very long and then it stretches on over like five days but his um what's it egret his girl yeah yeah she just done what's that oh yeah not bad right egret egret um is it a spoiler to talk about what happens to her this is last year right we can say it's just no she just died in the in the book where i am and uh like so far that battle there's not all that much to it i don't know if there's much left so i was just like yeah this is kind of insignificant compared to the show where it was a huge thing well it just keeps going on and on.

Like when you get to that part of the book, like, I mean, I've got an hour left in the book and I'm. The Red Wedding kept going on and on. Kyle was like, I'm at the part with the Red Wedding. And then when I got to it, I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm at the Red Wedding too. And for like the next nine hours, you're like various wed wedding things are happening. I didn't feel that way. I felt like it was over pretty fast. The finale scene was over

pretty quickly, I'll admit. But leading up to the red, think about when she first said you have to accept their offer of wine and food because then you're a guest and you have guest rules to the time when the red wedding

like, you know, really climaxed. It's like 60 pages. in the audio but i mean there were chapters like they went from them back to like you know other people to what john was doing what aria was doing then they go back to the red winning and you know the travel and like there was a lot happening there like that the red wedding i want to, wasn't 60 pages. It happened over the course of 600 pages or something. I'm exaggerating, because there were other stories mixed in. Yeah, if you count John in there and Tyrion, whoever else.

Sorry, Kyle, I interrupted you. No, you're fine. I was just going to say John seems to be a much more central character, and he does so much more stuff in the books than he does in the show. And I don't understand why magic isn't a more central part of the show. Because like Stannis' sword, for example, the only time I remember that thing glowing or being a lightbringer is when he pulled it out of that flaming... Right, yep, yep.

And it just appeared to be on fire in the same way that, like, Don... What's his name? The... The Lightning Lord? Yeah, yeah. Or the other guy. Barrack Dondarrion. I get those two confused.

Barrack Dondarrion and... Dondarrion's the one who came back from the dead. Thoros of Myr is the one with the... Thoros of Myr. Yeah, yeah. The Red Priest. Yeah, so, you know, he just lights the fucking thing on fire. At least that's what he used to do before he had real magic.

Like there was some gas on it or something, right? It wasn't like a big flaming sword. But it's a magic sword in the book. Yeah, there's three different variations of swords that are on fire or burn or have light to them. So there's Stannis Baratheon's sword, Lightbringer, which in the show only appeared to burn on fire like yellow flames. But in the book, especially later on, they're very descriptive about the way that it's got all the colors of fire

on the inside, but it doesn't give off any heat. And it basically glows red and orange and yellow. But then there's the version where you just dip your sword in wildfire and it burns and then it ruins the sword after and then there's the version that the red priest used to fight the hound when he was fighting uh clegane he like did some magic to his sword like like waved his fingers on it or something and it fucking burst into magic fire that was like tendrils of flame that would reach out and like set the hound on fire and shit like that i think the reason they did that with the swords is that they didn't want

it to be because like when you're reading it and you're picturing it like oh and it's emitting all these auras of light and everything you can picture it way better than they could portray it on a show because like if you see that it's just like a glowing red but no flames it's going to look really hokey and lightsaber-esque and it's going to kind of take you out of the moment i feel like i feel like the show in general really minimizes that stuff i think it's a special effects budget thing it's my personal guess oh because there could be a lot more dragon there could be a lot more fire there was a scene where and it was essential this might have been book two but there's something i guess it's called a pyromancer

and they do like a trick where someone climbs a fire ladder and then they vanish into the sky yeah and it demonstrates that magic is returning to the whole game of thrones universe because there are dragons alive suddenly everyone's magical powers are much more multiplied and it's happening you know in their ability to make this fire green shit whatever it was called and and the pyromancers and everyone who has any like little hint of magic or trickery now is like full-blown wizard shit going on but that was completely cut i fire him a call from the show yeah they really downplay like yeah all the magic and stuff is just barely there and i wonder if it's cgi budget the show kind of leads you to to wonder whether oh is this like real magic or is this just like a

coincidence you know yeah yeah you you don't know you're like well i've seen dragons i've seen giants but like how do i know that you know you've seen children of the forest so that was like the first occurrence of like actual magical beings everything else was just sort of like chemistry and such yeah but it turns out there's some real magic going on in the book so i imagine there's some real magic that's going to come in the shows i hope so and you would think their budget would be substantial i hope so they're launching their standalone thing this week i believe to to go along with um you know the the launch of game of thrones the new season i guess you got to have that Apple TV thing and so I think I'm gonna do that

because I don't mind paying for it it's my favorite form of entertainment I really love that shit did you guys see the video where it was it was like Jon Snow was the dinner guest yes on Saturday Night Live oh that was so fun

Seth Meyers I think maybe it wasn't SNL I thought maybe I'm so funny. Seth Meyers, I think. Maybe it wasn't SNL. I thought maybe I'm wrong. But yeah, Seth Meyers was definitely the guy in it. And they had Jon Snow over as the dinner party. And the whole thing takes place with regular people. Urban isn't like a socialite people. And they're sipping their glasses of wine and doing their thing.

And they're like, yeah, how's your mom? And he's like ah i don't know my mother i'm a bastard and this is seth mine he's in full costume like they're in they're in modern garb yeah they're like regular people you know maybe dressed up a touch and he's in like big bear skin whatever like like he wears on the show and he just can't get along with anyone he mentions his father my father's head was sliced from his body and hung on a pike and they're all like whoa that's intense

and they just kept going back like he and Seth Meyers would do this small like you know you're really not good at small talk he's like I'm trying I'm trying until eventually Kyle comes back in he's Jon Snow's trying to make small talk. He's like, do you have any siblings? And the guy's like, yeah, yeah. I've actually got a sister. She's older.

What about you? He's just like, well... This one's dead. That one was murdered in a war. This one's being held hostage. And they're all like, woo! Intense, intense. Until eventually he's like i'm so sorry i'm not good at small talk i've i've been really stressed about work lately so

they're like oh tell me about work and then it goes into a montage of him telling the entire game of thrones story and they're all captivated and they love it and and suddenly he's just good and like they go to a scene where like he's got his fingers pressed against the guy's eyeballs and and there's another scene where I guess they're slicing a head off. He's acting out all the major turning points. The red wedding. It was great.

They all loved him because he told the Game of Thrones story. The music's going on. A lot of Game of Thrones talk this show, but I'm psyched because it's coming back. If you're watching this, probably tomorrow. I don't understand how there are people who don't know a lot of game of thrones talk this show but i'm psyched because it's coming back uh if you're watching this probably tomorrow i don't understand how there are people who don't love this shit like i really wife like i what what's that he doesn't like it yeah she hasn't given a shot that's the problem because anytime there's so many people like who um like like my

ex-girlfriend hated hated Lord of the Rings. She's fallen asleep in it. She fell asleep trying to watch it with me like two or three times. I can see that. But with Game of Thrones, she loved it. Yeah, you don't like Lord of the Rings that much either. But Game of Thrones is so much different. By the time The Hobbit rolled out, I read all the Lord of the Rings books and stuff.

I liked it, but I just thought The Hobbit was really poorly done. Then I'm with you 100%. I feel the exact same way i love the first three and i'm not yeah i like the hobbit uh story less and less as it went on the first hobbit actually didn't seem that bad to me as a book reader i was like really like you know there's so much that wasn't in here that i expected and so um what was i gonna say uh about jackie what jackie likes what like she likes that tv show new girl do you know it with uh zoe dantzel she likes psych zoe de chanel get out that's her real name yeah holy fuck zoe dantzel zo Zoe Dantrell. So she likes New Girl.

She likes Psych. She likes Scrubs. She likes Bob's Burger. Scrubs gets jerked off on the internet so much as being a great show, and I don't get it. I've never laughed once at that show. It's just – I like it, but to me it's right there it i didn't like the later seasons yeah it did get worse but to me it's right there with like how i met your mother and new girl and like you know there's fun shows to listen to and it's really light she hears about game of thrones game of

thrones isn't light it's like absorbing it's it's not the casual you know it's it's a drama that that sucks you in and you care about. And that's just typically not what she looks for. So she just doesn't like that it kind of demands her full attention and you can't just kind of like casually watch it. I think, you know, if TV was music, she would like Britney Spears, One Direction, and, you know, sort of like bubble TV,

bubbly TV, sugary TV. And Game of Thrones is meat, and she wants candy. That's a good way to describe it. It's definitely my favorite show. I really look forward to it

every time it comes out. I used to like X-Files the same way, so I'm pretty excited that they're going to go back and make some more X-Files. David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson have signed on. I don't know who they're going to get to direct. I'm hoping that What's-His-Name comes in and does at least one episode. What's-His-Name, they did Breaking Bad. Cranston?

No, no, no. Oh, Vince Gilligan? Yeah, gilligan yeah i finished better call saul i know a lot of you guys haven't seen it so you want no spoilers at all it's heating up i like it dude the and i so i finished the whole you caught up did you see the whole yeah i'm current the entire season turns out to be character development like the whole season like it and it's not bad like as a guy who likes fast shows i was still enjoying it but um breaking bad in the opening minutes he's there in his underwear in distress like stuck in the desert and then they even like tell you how he got there in um in better call saul it's literally 10 hours of like to know Saul. Wait, is this season over?

Mm-hmm. Oh. Right? It's kind of a letdown of an ending, too, right? Oh, that is a disappointing cliffhanger. The cliffhanger was that scene at the gate where he's like, I've had a change of heart, and that's his thing. Yeah.

That's how the season ends. They just defined how he became Saul. Ten hours of that. That's a lot. Did you see the entire season of It's Always Sunny?

I don't think so, actually. I think I've seen two or three episodes this season. I think it's one of their better seasons. I really like this season. The last episode was... Dennis starts a cult in the last episode. Oh, and I did see it all.

I saw the last one. Yeah, the ass kickers. Yeah. Always Sunny, to me, falls victim to what every TV show does and every YouTuber does does which is eventually like it's not that this season was bad or fell off a cliff it's just that i didn't think it distinguished itself from the previous nine seasons or whatever it is it's like i watch it and i'm just kind of like it's getting a little formulaic and you know i disagree i feel like they they even like

went out of their way to like, to, to break the formula in one episode. Like there's an episode where they direct that, like they, they pinpoint that in particular. They're like, they're basically hinting at that.

They're not going to be formulaic for this episode and show you what it would be like if characters acted out of place. There was a whole episode. Oh yeah. Yeah. They, they were like, they became friends with different people. And, oh, yeah, and, like, at this point, I would do this.

Like, oh, Charlie's at a restaurant saying, like, I really don't want to order, like, deer horns and beak, right? And eat it. But everyone expects me to eat beak. And she's like, you don't have to. But it wasn't like I hate it or anything and I kind of like the actors in it somehow like I wish Willem well but I'm not sitting here

salivating for the next season of Always Sunny it's just kind of a tired show for me I liked it I thought it was one of their better seasons I still really enjoyed it I also finished off all of Archer. Me too.

The season finale of Archer was hilarious. They did like a fantastic voyage sort of scenario where they all got shrunk down inside of a little ship and then they were going to go inside of the scientist's brain to fix an embolism or something like that. I don't remember. A blood clot or something. And they accidentally get injected into his foot and they only have an hour before they're going to return to normal size and that that you know it gets to the end of the episode and the timer's ticking down and you're and you think they're going to

make it and then the ship just gets enormous and the guy just explodes and there's blood everywhere and archer stumbles out of the top naked and maybe drunk and that's the end of the episode like they just fucking killed him there's more after that well they get the guy uh oh yeah the guy said uh that the cia wasn't going to work with them anymore yeah basically they're like it's really significant after that the cia is not working with them they're blackballed from the intelligence community and they're the spy they're not spies anymore and like what are we going to do for money and archer like takes a sip of his martini he's like i've got an idea for that cliffhanger so they're no longer spies going forward like they're changing up the formula i suppose

again yeah i need to catch up on quite a few shows then yeah i have not seen much of sunny or archer archer and sunny i think are two of my favorite shows um they're probably my two favorite comedies currently yeah better call saul the videography is every bit as good as breaking bad if not better and i like that i always download the highest quality version because it's worth it oh we watched i'm sorry to interrupt you but we watched that scientology documentary the other day. You, myself, and Shiz. Oh, how was that? That was good, I thought.

Good, yeah. I wish I could spit back more examples of the crazy stuff they did. I was trying to tell my wife about it. And I'm like, they put all the executives in a hole, like a torture area, know made them confess to stuff and whatever and she's like who are the executives and it's like i can't name them like i don't know scientology people yeah they were what's it called going clear so here's the core of it in scientology fairly early on um a regular person will meet with an auditor, you will aspire to be an auditor someday too, but it's an achievable level level, there's a lot of auditors. And they tell you that

your negative thoughts have weight, like actual mass that can be measured, and they hook you up and, and they get you to talk about stuff. And it's like positive and negative. And if you're saying stuff that's either not true, or maybe like the isn't negative, then it's staying on one side but then when you're like you know I'm feeling down because I'm like a sexual deviant or like it's on my head because I'm violent or like you're confessing all your sins sort of and as you talk about them you feel better and this device actually measures

how a weight is lifted off your psyche you know like you admit to your pedophile past or something and there and you start to feel better about it as you might you know talking with a pseudo therapist type guy and and they're saying there's like a science behind this and you know these thoughts are hanging on you and weighing you down etc here's the thing one like I can all I could understand how people were falling for it because you know like just on a psychological level talking to somebody about it will make you feel better and the fact that I'm saying I can measure how much this weighed is kind of like fits in with what you're feeling the other side of it is now I got your record now I know everything I can measure how much this weighed is kind of like fits in with what you're feeling.

The other side of it is now I got your record. Now I know everything about you. And if you try to leave my cult, you're so fucked. Cause I just, you just told me about your pedophile past and I will take that and I will make it public. And, um,

uh, that is like an, a part of the system on how they hook people in. And it's one of those things where it seemed like if you were middle class or especially upper class, they were going to suck you dry as much as they could. They always want more and more money. And for various things, they would literally tell you, like, this is for our legal war chest.

Like, this is to go after the people that want to hurt us. Or you had examples of people who, you know, they don't have hundreds of thousands of dollars to donate. or you had examples of people who, you know, they don't have hundreds of thousands of dollars to donate, so they'll just sort of end up working for free, you know, getting paid $50 a week to work 30 hours straight and three hours off. If you're one of the very few, the Cruises, the Travoltas, then you get the benefit of this work. Yeah, yeah. They became declared a religion officially

so they wouldn't have to pay taxes in 93 maybe. And there's this whole – they've got lots of footage of like – there's these huge – it reminds me of those mega churches when you've got a gigantic audience full of worshipers and then the one guy speaking. But it's a CEO speaking instead of a priest. And he's up there talking about how they've accomplished this big win and now they're a religion.

And then they explained how it actually happened. And Scientologists sued so many members of the IRS. And they had so many lawsuits going on. It was a huge mess for the IRS. And they basically just agreed to drop all the lawsuits if the IRS would declare them a religion. And they they did they were attacking the employees of the irs like yeah individually and personally and stuff and as many as they could in every jurisdiction they could so are the high ranking people like travolta cruz like they they're not in there

because they're like oh this is a great religion and i believe in it like they are 100 in and on the scam right like i don't think i don't think so like travolta wasn't interviewed much but they did a lot of talking about cruz and the people that worked around him and um you know he would have like crises of religion now and then like you know where they said wasn't in contract contact and they had to rope him back in but by and large i think cruz is hook line and sinker psycho drinking that kool-aid that's why um katie holmes left him is that her name yeah well well they they explained this whole scenario and they had the guy who said that he was like responsible for it they basically explained thinking of kid Yeah. They basically described a scenario where they broke Tom Cruise up with Nicole Kidman

and turned the children against Nicole Kidman because her father was a prominent psychiatrist in Australia. And they thought that that was no good. They don't believe in psychiatry. They don't believe in any of that. He was into Scientology in Days of Thunder. He met Nicole Kidman. And then he kind of got pulled away from Scientology. And then they hooked him, broke him up with a guy.

They got him divorced with his wife. Got Nicole Kidman's kids to turn against her. They don't call her mom or anything now. And they got him back in. And then with Katie Holmes, he never really... He just sort of stayed deep in the cult. And she left him and took the kids. And in her mind, took the kids and you

know in her mind rescued the kids from the situation but it's who made this documentary hbo yeah they described this whole scenario where um you know they have these people in the hole that that woody mentioned earlier and they're basically like double wide trailers with bars on the windows and the door and they keep them in there and basically just you know literally beat them physically sometimes and abuse them in all kinds of brainwashing games and just fucking with them. To the point where they were begging to

stay. They played a game and if you lost the game you had to leave the hole. They were actually fighting to stay in the punishment zone. It's a real brainwashing. It's pretty crazy crazy i gotta watch this yeah sounds really cool i knew a lot of this going in like they if you look around on the

internet you'll find that you can find instances of people explaining the horrible things and the real history behind scientology the problem is they're so litigious they'll they sue so many whenever someone with a voice starts talking about them or starts making a documentary like this one they usually sue their fucking pants off until they can't you know do anything so how is hbo getting getting on with it apparently they prepped themselves before they aired it very carefully to make sure that they weren't vulnerable to lawsuits but they do stuff anyway they follow you around with cameras just like looking for trouble trying to provoke you to fight or respond and then you know they'll sue they're they're pretty tough to have on your bad list definitely so they've got a lot of money yeah they've got over a billion

properties how many people like does it have like a thousand yeah it was smaller than i thought like as a matter of fact they said that it shrunk, but it became even more profitable. They lost members, but they squeezed more out of them. So it's crazy. It's a total cult. It's ridiculous. I don't understand.

That was what the Catholic Church was like in this area. Not necessarily in the whole or anything, but the way that they worked very hard to get as much money from you as possible was um it was a turnoff for me yeah i bet so um i got a topic check this out so this woman had a custody case with her husband. And so they were supposed to have like a divorce. And they thought it would be a one or two day like quick affair. And it ended up going nine days.

And the core of it was over the custody with her kids. Because she claimed that they weren't her husband's kids. They said that the kids were a result of immaculate conception what the fuck like what how would anyone even take that seriously for more than a second uh it didn't work out yeah the court case ended up going nine days but the guy got like hooked up i let me see the details in here he got full custody he got fifty three thousand dollars like his part of the sale of the home and they had her pay his thirty five thousand dollars in legal costs and um they said that they did it to deter similar conduct by others who represent themselves in court so yeah she got it was on pussy pass denied that's hilarious they didn't buy her immaculate

conception defense at all of course not of course not it's craziness the fact that wow so how did he get hooked up in the end so So they were just like, no, fuck you. They're his kids. They did a simple test. I mean, she alleged that the ex-husband drugged her, raped her and kidnapped her from Malaysia. Like she had nothing to do with this marriage. There did the immaculate conception on the children. Like she just went crazy.

And, um, yeah. So now she had to pay for all his legal costs and, uh, he got full custody of the kids, and he got money from the sale of the house and stuff like that. So, bizarre custody case straight out of a novel, as they describe it. That's ridiculous. Immaculate conception.

My favorite was P.K. Sometimes people ask about P.K. Dan. This happened a while ago, but I've told this story, but probably most people haven't heard it. This happened a while ago. I've told this story, but probably most people haven't heard it. His wife brought him into court for mistreating the kids. She wanted to remove his custody of the kids.

But the mistreatment was funny to me. Basically, he was sending them to lunches. Dan's real Health Oriented, and they didn't like the lunches that he gave them because they were too healthy. And the judge was like, are you serious? He's like, we get people coming in here who have drug issues, who have prison records, and they still don't lose custody of their kids.

You are literally trying to take his children from him because he gives them rye bread at lunch. So that was his thing. That was his children abuse. She took him to court because he was giving him the rye bread. She sucks. So then what happened was the judge was like, all right, man, let's look at the child support. And she's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

The child support's fine. We're here about the custody, not the amount of money he's giving me. And the judge was like, well, you know, since we're all here. So the judge was kind of like, fuck you. You're wasting my time and everyone else's so then they uh they looked at how much money she was earning which was a lot less than she claimed a lot less than when they calculated how much of the support he was supposed to give and um so at the end of the thing he owed a far less than child support and he didn't lose any

custody all because she tried to take the kids away over rye bread, a bunch of horse shit. What an evil person. Yeah. That's like vindictive mean to your children themselves. Stealing them away from a parent because you're such a narcissist, and you think that your little perceived problem has any relevance ever. There had to be something else that she tried to bring up or lied about because how would you even have someone take you seriously or an attorney go oh yeah we're gonna bring this

we're gonna you know i i think you pay the attorney and they'll bring any case you want they'll give it a go um but yeah, it didn't go well. I think Dan didn't even bring an attorney, I think. He's like, this is just utter horseshit. I'll be fine. There's no sense in paying an attorney. And he was.

A little PKA Dan update. I'm trying to think what's happened with me this week. If I got any new news. I could run through a house update. It's getting closer. It seems like now. It is what it is. I don't love my front steps and this or that.

But it's wrapping up. If you were to walk through the home. The cleaning lady finished. It's not perfect. but it's clean now. It's starting to look like a finished project. The biggest thing they have left to do is we're putting a carpet runner up the center of the steps. You've probably seen that before. They have to do that, but it takes a specialist to do it and bind the sides

and all that so when that's done they'll probably have everything else done and uh and that'll be that pool table came today the bulk of the furniture arrives tomorrow you don't need carpet on the stairs to have furniture delivered and um you know pretty much i guess when i get back from paintball on tuesday it'll be all systems go there's really nothing stopping us from moving in like after the you know even now well that's great it's uh i'm glad your project finally wound down i bet you're going to be gun shy when it comes to finding someone to do to do your pool or your shop now so much yeah yeah but i'm also much more educated on what to look for you know like the big thing that went wrong is like,

we, we knew the real estate agent for over a year. We really liked him. We kind of considered him a family friend and he recommended like sort of himself and his partner as the people that do this. And they didn't have like subcontractors that they worked with all the time. So, uh,

um, you know, I see now they're like, they need to get the carpet installed. It takes a specialist. They're like calling the carpet store, asking for references of carpet installers. Like,

uh, a better GC would, um, you know, like having a, like an army of people that they work with all the time and stuff. He's just hiring strangers and shit, you know? Well a like an army of people that they work with all the time and stuff yeah he's just hiring strangers and shit you know well and yeah it'll be over with soon enough you can i remember with the electrician he's like we saved a lot of money with sylvia and i'm

thinking we like i didn't save a fucking dime and then she gets fired off the site because she was completely incompetent you know that happened with a couple different subs it's like you just keep getting these like low-cost bullshit artists and it anyway next time i'll be much more you know seasoned on how to hire a gc and for this house the one i'm in now we're going to prep it for sale like you know paint it and um the kitchen counters we have are like old white for micah that you might have like nowadays sort of everyone's granite. That's like the new standard. So we're going to do some upgrading and I'm going to be the GC. You know, I'm not going to hire someone to hire subs to do this.

Like I'm just going to direct hire, right? You know, you're the guy who installs counters. This is what we want. You're the guy who, you know, lays the floor, paints or whatever. And there's not going to be a... When you hire a GC, you're not hiring the people doing the work you're hiring a guy who hires a guy that does the work yeah and um if that guy fucks up you're kind of vulnerable what about uh what about your dog what about jack is he doing any better or is it no good um so we put him on like a round of steroids or something.

And he is doing better. We actually thought he had a couple weeks left or something. And now it's more like every so often there's a symptom of how he's weaker. He'll stand on hardwood floors and his legs will kind of spread. And that doesn't happen to a full-on healthy... It never happened to him before. That doesn't happen to a full-on healthy. It never happened to him before. It doesn't look like he's about to drop dead or anything like we previously thought.

Just keep watching. Well, that's good. I think I said on PKN, my mom's dog died this week. We lost a cat as well last week. Black cat, too. Yeah, black cat number two is out, down for the count. So we are down two pets, which is probably a good thing. Had way too many to begin with. And hopefully nobody takes on anymore.

I found a baby rabbit in the field the other day when we were filming. I was just like right there. Eric picked it up. I'm like, look at this little guy. And everybody wanted it. They were like, you should take it and make it your pet. And I'm just like, yeah, that's what what I need a wild fucking animal living in my house like the thing would sneak away run and start living in the walls or something like they're very difficult to keep alive yeah yeah my

sister had one that they caught one time and it died and within 24 hours it hung itself hmm that's a rough one so yeah the house moving it'll be interesting because i i feel like for months now we've had a good reason this can't happen now it's like oh wow how exactly do i move like what does it take when you switch the places that you sleep you know is it the day i move my computer because that's kind of the thing right like when my desk and my monitors and computer move is that the day that like i've moved moved yeah um you know is it i guess we'll have beds in either our master bedroom bed is awful like it's you just got i i'm sure that'll be i'm sure that'll be part of how you move you know at first it'll be non-essential items,

and then there'll be a day where there's a tipping point where it's like, okay, more of my shit is now at the new house than there is at the old house. It's time to move the essentials. Right, like this critical thing that I'm on all the time is the thing that's just moved. And that'll be a thing. Yeah, it's when you're working at the new place. That's when it is. Yeah, right? And the new place that's when that's yeah right and like

the new place doesn't have any tvs or anything oh i meant to order that i we're getting a tv so for the foot of the master the master bedroom is very long right so you can't put a tv really on the wall because like from the foot of the bed to the wall is probably like i don't want to exaggerate but like 20 feet like 25 feet like it's it's a really big room so you can't just hang like a 50 inch tv over there because you'll need like a binoculars to watch this is so funny this is so remember yesterday when you left me or day before yesterday you left me alone on pkn and you went downstairs and i was talking to the camera by myself.

I was saying something. I said, I was like, I wonder in the next house what he's going to do about TVs. Do you think he'll have another one kind of smooshed into the wall like he's got back there? Oh, no. Woody won't do that, though. He'll have some kind of projector that comes out of the fucking hardwood floor or something like that.

So tell me, what do you got for your television in the next house, Woody? I'll show you. projector that like comes out of the fucking hardwood floor or something like that so so tell me what what what do you got for your television in the next house what do you i'll show you um does it come out of the floor feet from the bed foot of your bed to the wall i i hope i'm not exaggerating i mean i don't mean to be lying but it's something like that like how many steps like like regular strides sure eight maybe there you go it's about 20 feet something like that um so hold on uh it's a gigantic bedroom it's it's really big like i think we're gonna have like a couch and like a coffee table or something in the foot of the bed like just to fill that space but um shit what is it called tv you should get a love sack oh um oh sorry we gotta fix this yeah or no we didn't have to restart it last time

did we yeah we're not to restart the call but you have to click on the camera to make it come back um i'm getting closed and yeah all right so i'll give you a i'm trying to link in a little closer i trying to link in a little closer i there's prices on here i hope that's not rude but um this is what we're looking at it's a little gauche is it i whatever if i could remove them from the website i would but we're gonna have a cabinet at the foot of the bed and then you'll press a button and the tv will like mechanically rise from inside this dresser looking thing at the foot of the bed.

I love this, but shouldn't the TV come out facing the opposite direction? Because how do you use the cabinet? I'm trying to get the right one. You haven't decided on one of these yet? Yeah, we haven't picked it out. I think the one that we like like I can see what you're saying

it kind of faces the room you know like but I think that we found one that it's literally designed for the foot of your bed I need to find the right one yeah foot of the bed lifts aha this is what I should have linked this one is called foot of the bed lifts

and they rise toward you well if you pick in the next 90 seconds it's 150 off it's been saying to the top for like since january like i i literally was like oh man should i buy tonight my god you know whatever and because in january if you don't know that's like when furniture sales tend to do furniture stores tend to do the biggest sales. I was like, this store's sale is ending. Probably even on the show, if we talk for this for another minute, you'll see it'll be like, all for expires in 24 hours. Which size?

The big one. 70-inch? No, I think the biggest one they offer goes to 55 or something, or 60. No, if you go to sort by price, high to low, the second one is for 70-inch TVs. At the low, low price of $4,000. I'm trying to remember. I think it was this one.

I have to confirm with Jackie that we like the most. It needed to handle it. I measured it it and it worked for the tv and stuff yeah yeah i think it was this one that we like that matched the room and the furniture and such but um it should be pretty neat like to have a yeah foot of the bed lift to have a tv that rises out of the furniture at the foot of the bed and then it just gets tucked away and it's That's what we're doing for television in the master bedroom. Cool. Oh, here it is. Offer expires.

I haven't really seen it flip. I just know that this code has been active all year. Two, one. Are you there? Mine's five seconds. Yeah, they're all different. Every time you refresh. Okay, so the offer just expired now I'm gonna refresh the page

that stayed at zero for me I missed my opportunity that's what it says but yeah it does look like but I promise you I did this website changed since January yeah it's been that way for months but months but yeah that's what we're looking at and I think it's a pretty neat idea I don't know I'm excited about it it's pretty cool yeah I guess we should order that because all the other furniture

all the other furniture is in it's delivered tomorrow that's kind of a big moment there's literally no place to sit in the whole house unless you count the stairs. You can slouch on the kitchen counter.

That's the closest thing to rest that exists. Now you just need your emus. Mmm. I don't know. Are they going to pick on the llamas? Nah, they'll get along. Yeah? That's good.

Who's the weak link? Alpaca? Goat? I feel like the goat is a hardy animal. Goat is a hardy animal. Goats are my favorite, although I'm told they're tough because there's disease issues. But, um, right now, all joking aside, like if you said

what do you have to have an animal? Pick one. It'd be goat. I feel like they're filled with personality and fun, and they eat lots of things, and I don't know. Yeah. When I see goat, I think fun. There's a place about, we drove past it, Woody and I did. It's called Goats on the Roof.

It's about 45 minutes north of me, and it's literally a place where they have goats on the roof. And it's like a tourist stop. And there's just goats all over this place, including on the roof. And you can eat them. I don't think you can eat them. I keep meaning to stop and take some pictures with the goats on the roof. But yeah, Goats on the Roof.

That's what you should do. I feel like you should fence that place in and you should have lots of weird animals. And in the background of your videos, there'd just be a camel walking by or something. That sounds funny but expensive. You can totally get a llama for like $500. I found them on the internet. But then you have the animal for quite some time. Yeah, but he does his own thing out there. He just eats grass and chills.

Does his llama stuff. Why do you want a llama? They look cool. I don't know. It's a llama. Just to have a llama. Yeah, just to be like, yeah, that's my fucking llama. Look at him. His name's Terry. And you'd be like, blah, or whatever llamas sound like.

No, give it a people name. I think pets with people names are funny. You don't find Terry to be a people name? It is, but that's like a pet name, think pets with people names are funny you don't find terry to be a people name it is but that's like a pet name too like a terry that's francois that's francois over there yeah that's scott scott's our goat and there's richard bob bob who's about the goat the goat bob come on yeah i like when people i also like when animals have... Shouldn't the sheep be Bob? Bob! I thought he was doing that.

You could do sheep really cheap. Just imagine if you raised and butchered your own meat. That would be the most expensive meat I ever ate, I'm sure. It would be the finest meat you would ever eat.

Just think of yourself like Dwight Schrute. You should definitely raise your own. I feel like if you had a good horse to butcher for the winter. Sometimes I wonder, is there money in tree farms? Because that seems really low effort. How about I plant like 100 Christmas trees, and then five years from now sell them, and we're good. Five years? It takes longer than that, doesn't it? I don't know. Not with Christmas trees. plant like 100 christmas trees and then five years from now sell them and we're good five years

takes longer than that doesn't it i don't know i thought christmas trees you could start a job you could pan up plant a bunch of pines and i know those people uh they go and collect the pine needles and they sell them as uh mulch and so they just do that every uh every season they go out there and collect all the pine needles and sell them to me the big challenge is mowing like like all of a sudden you're easy to mow open field becomes like literally weed whacking around pine trees and stuff that's an orchard you don't it's there's a lot of orchards around here it's a it's a cool little how do they manage the ground with an orchard like they must mow it i'm sure they're probably spaced in such a way that the mower fits. But then there's something

going on there. In the peach orchards, I've never once seen them do that. To be honest. I don't know. There's Christmas tree orchards and there's peach and... I know mowing in tree farms is a thing because I'm on these tractor forms

where people talk about it. But maybe there's a like it's not a thing with every orchard. I don't know how they manage that. But it's. Well, maybe they keep some animals in there, some goats, maybe baby steps. Like I was I was totally gung ho ready to like buy goats and shit, you know, three months ago. But now I'm like, let's take a breath step at a time well all you need is the fence once you here's what you could do we you could fence that thing

in i almost said we did you catch that i caught the we yeah absolutely you could fence that thing in with an electric fence you could run like two strands of electric around that thing you could do it in a day it would be no big deal and then you could just go get your next day day two goat day go get yourself a little family of goats put them out there you're a goat farmer but are you really a goat farmer if you're not using them for anything you just oh well i mean that's one day we'll butcher a goat and eat it though that's what i was saying initially i wasn't joking about eating the goat All around the world people eat goats

Yeah There's some Mexican people that lived just down the road I remember one time we always saw them They had these goats and we were like They got goats, wonder what that's about And then one day we saw them turning the goat on a spit They ate the goat So yeah

Well Woody you gotta get your goat I don't know why we're not going cow. Aim for the moon, baby. Shoot for the stars. My dad has cows. There's nothing cool there. I don't know. They're expensive.

Really? So, if I really want to pick up the chick, it's all about the goat? It's all about the goat. Oh, absolutely. It's a much more sensual mammal than the cow. Yeah. I'll check out their happy trails probably similar to that one girls according to kyle well there's a pond right no there's no real

pond there's a you need a pond yeah i the thing most people who do ponds have like a natural stream or something that they can kind of dig and dam and work with. I don't feel like I have that. Do you have a creek nearby? Anything like that? Not really. I have a field. Don't have a creek? Ain't got a creek?

It'd be nice. If I were to design my dream land, it would involve a creek and a wooded area and stuff like that. But get what you can find i guess you could do sort of uh one that would fill with rainwater and then maybe supplement that with a with a well that'd be cool if you just didn't give a fuck you're like i want a pond anyway just drilled a hole and got yourself some well water and just filled it up with that it would be pretty sweet your neighbors don't have drinking water because you have your fucking pond over there with fucking 8 million gallons in it. Yeah, I don't know what the whole...

You can stock it with like catfish and bluegill. That'd be pretty sweet. Yeah. My grandpa has a few of those on his properties. Yeah, yeah. That stuff has crossed my mind. But again, baby steps. You know, I don't even live there.

That's step one. Yeah, you don't have chairs in your house and you're planning out what kind of livestock to raise, and what kind of fences, and maybe seven years from now, I'll have a nice evergreen orchard. One step at a time. Yeah, yeah. It's just sort of started to become overwhelming.

Like, I wonder what stuff stays. Does this Black Ops poster get to stay on the side of my wall? For the viewers, it looks like that here for kyle and murka we can't see you does it look oh that's right the camera turns off at that thing um but yeah if you haven't seen it i have a black ops 2 i mean i had an oil painting commissioned and uh and i gave him like a little woody's gamer tag black ops thumbnail that i had used a lot at the time. Should that come to the new house or is that too

like not nice enough? No, it's memories. Like at least keep it. Stick it in the office or not? Yeah, sure. It's up to you. I don't know. I'm pretty quick to throw stuff in the trash sometimes but I'm not too sentimental. Where's the golden play button go?

In the office or do we really put that downstairs? In the spare room upstairs behind a bunch of clothes. Is that where you have yours? Golden play button's cool. It is cool, but it weighs 45 pounds. I don't know where I'm going to hang that motherfucker. Yeah, we had to buy a heavy

duty hanging kit and stuff. Like, you can't just do the little drywall screw with the plastic little expandy thing. No. No. They had it weigh 45 pounds. That's a good guess. Yeah, it's heavy. They get a chore to deal with. It's really heavy. It really is. And

I just, I was, it's upstairs in a room right next to those two, like, faggot ass. Uh, what do you call them? Those, um, um, the little storage pack you wrap around your waist. Fanny pack. Fanny pack. Yeah.

Oh, those two terrible fanny packs. They sent those things were so lame. Oh yeah. Yeah. What was a fanny? And then they had like a one armed backpack thing that some people liked, but that's what I'm talking about. It was like stupid sl-armed backpack thing that some people liked. That's what I'm talking about. That stupid sling.

I got that one. I was about to wear it out of the house one day a couple years ago. And I like passed myself in the mirror and almost just like a realization I looked over and I'm like, you look like a real dick. And so I took it off and then put on a backpack that an adult would wear. I don't need some, you know, Miss America sash looking fucking thing. It's so fucking lame. In the house, I like, I'm like, I don't know how to wear this. Does this thing go across your chest?

Does it go over one arm? Like a purse? Like, I don't really, like, I didn't get it. And I'm like, like, like, it's like fitted almost, you know, like, so it doesn't, not like a purse strap where like it goes anywhere and fits the same. This thing is like contoured and I'm, I'm not getting it. And it felt small for me.

So I'm feeling like constricted by this thing. It doesn't hold that much for how awful it looks. Yes. Yeah. I just, I don't think, I think I threw it away before it ever, like that's,

that's all that happened to it. I know I threw one of mine away. There's probably another one upstairs somewhere. I just thought it was so lame. Do you get one for each channel? Is that the deal? Yeah, I think it's for 100,000 subscribers or something. Yeah, because otherwise I wouldn't have got one.

Yeah, I got mine for 100,000, but I don't think my second channel ever made it to 100,000. Is that why you got two? Yeah, the second channel is about to hit a million, I think. Oh, nice. Maybe maybe get another play button Yeah, yeah That'd be cool. I mean it's definitely gonna hit a million It's like nine hundred sixty thousand or something like they like diamond records for a music star like yeah look at this

You know this is my trophy room to go play buttons What's the next biggest thing that they send you like if you hit like what does pewdiepie have over there there's only two i'm sure they have sent pewdiepie a few cool little gift baskets that we won't get to see but um but as far officially i don't know that there's anything cooler than the golden play button they probably send him a fucking just big bowl of gold gold yeah he's a bolo gold his house his decorating style is baroque so like he has all like i wonder i think i just deleted the bookmark about it let me see if i still have it uh baroque i just got rid of it yeah like it, like... You're the furthest thing from Baroque. Lots of, like, carved chairs and, like, gilded, like, art and stuff like that.

Lefty should start a Twitter account where he does, like, a word of the day. That's what I thought about when you used the word Baroque. I just imagined that that would be one of the words that Lefty would have. Like, today's word. Baroque baroque here i'll show you this is um this is a picture of his home is lefty done with everything now yeah yeah he seems to be i haven't talked i haven't spoken to him i don't think he likes me the The most powerful Swede in the world. Yeah.

But that... Apparently they shop their furniture off eBay exclusively and they get... The furniture, while it looks really opulent, is more frugal than you might guess. And that's their style. I thought it was cool. Opulent was yesterday's word. My mistake.

But yeah, I don't know what lefty's up to or anything. I like this. That's a pretty fancy chair. Yeah, it's a nice chair. I like that ottoman chair. That's something that you sit in when you're being painted. Yeah, right? I feel like that ottoman was probably used by King painted yeah right i feel like that ottoman would was probably

used by like king xerxes or something like that like he like he had a slave condemned to death while he propped his legs up on something like that even that little like end table thing like it would never occur to me to buy that no like you know like yeah you know what i need like a nine inch diameter end table to hold a vase and nothing else. I see what you mean. Yeah, that's pretty silly. But I guess you probably don't sit in that chair very often either. Yeah, I think you and I are both cursed with that little flaw.

Decorating is something that just, it's just beyond me. I can't look, I don't know what the pieces uh i don't know what pieces are available to me and even if i did i wouldn't know which ones look uh correct when put together and i don't like spending money on them like that so what'll happen i'll go to like a um like a whatever some import furniture stool right and it's like all right we need a couch and then you're like oh look this couch and this coffee table and this like edison light bulb lamp thing make an amazing room like it you came in looking for a couch and you found a statement and then you're like all right the couch is 950 kind of what you expected and the lamp is 1150

like whoa i realize the lamp is making this whole setup but 11 50 for a lamp yeah you ever go into like crate and barrel maybe it's a similar situation where like there are rooms put together and they're really nice and the rooms can be expensive it's the rooms can end up being you know 10 to 20 000 it depends on which room and you know the bed will be three or four thousand dollars and then you get over and there's some fucking lamp that that's a one-of-a-kind thing you've never seen before and you're like oh yeah this really does tie the whole thing together between that little love seat over there and that coffee table and these end tables and that bed and that and that and then this light well okay and like you said this little accessory that looks like it should cost

eighty dollars will be $1,200. And it's very expensive. The lamp I was talking about, it looked kind of expensive. It was like gear driven to like move it or something. It looked almost nautical. And it looked really cool. But it was like, wow. Like $1,150

for... It's like buying a painting almost. You know, like it's art. It's way more than it is function and uh i have a hard time bringing myself to like spend the other stuff that that really dress up a room that's ridiculous if i had a billion dollars i wouldn't spend twelve hundred dollars on a lamp that's nonsense your room looks nice back there taylor i'm not responsible at all for decorating

it i i hear you but i don't fully believe you because we were looking at the posters that were up there one is always sunny in philadelphia you sound guilty another one's game of thrones oh the posters yeah but like the actual pieces and lamps and whatnot like all of those dvds or books or whatever they are back there so neatly put away and everything has its place i am the goddamn opposite you have no idea like they're alphabetized i like my stuff sort of like displayed out everywhere and with it's like do you need a nine millimeter pistol well there's one right here and it's like it's like do you do you need really anything there's some night vision over well there's one right here and it's like it's like do you do you need really anything there's some night vision over there there's a whole bunch of specialty

ammunition a sheath to a blade i don't know where the knife is there's like a weight right there like three empty beers oh absolutely not it's it's a real fucking disaster around me is it just a complete mess you just cleaned up one column of space this cube is what's clean everything else is just a fucking disaster area mine has a messy spot in four minutes this room would be clean but i haven't done it in ages like i just haven't brought myself to throw away like a couple items and i need to i've just been moving stuff around i bought this new 4k monitor and then so i've got my old tv it's still sitting there and then i've got my backup tv so there's literally three tvs sitting in this room just kind of

everywhere in my ottoman it's it's a real mess i'm feeling like the 4k purchase was a little premature of course it was okay because i'm about to buy a bunch of stuff soon well there's no content for this thing that's the thing no true 4 content. And you've got to get a special cable to even view 4K content, period. Like, HDMI won't carry that shit. I wasn't aware of that. Takes two of them. There's no disks that are at 4K, from what I understand. You've got to do a digital download.

Each of those downloads is 40 gigabytes. Sony has a service where you pay, like, 50 bucks a month, and you're given access to their library of, like i don't know 75 titles something like that but you gotta buy this 500 box beforehand and it's only 500 if you buy a 4k sony tv and i've already got this lg or whatever the fuck uh and then like if you if i were to say rent a 4k uh a video and then download it so because i'd have to download. I can't stream it because you need like 15 meg to stream 4K minimum and I don't have that.

I looked at it and I was like, okay, so you do like a 24 hour HD rental, right? So it'd be a 24 hour 4K rental. It would take more than 24 hours for me to download the 40 file. By the time I had it downloaded, it would have expired

so it's like all right i've got this brand new 4k tv but really best case scenario it's gonna upscale some 1080p and make it look a little bit better than it normally would and that's it see i'm thinking like the roku 4 is supposed to come out in like april or may and it's rumored to support 4k you have a roku now have you have you tried i do have a roku i like them a lot i like the remote yeah so i was like well i'll just get the next roku it'll probably be like 100 bucks and then it'll stream 4k off netflix for the very few titles that have it and then i'll be future proof maybe good idea bad i'm not sure well i the thing about that is

I'm already going to get the Apple device for Game of Thrones. It's not 4K. I know. I've given up on 4K content. It's just not going to be out there for a while until there's a player and standardized disks that are affordable. That's the only way I'll be able to watch it

until I've got better than 15 meg internet. And even then, your options are so, so limited. So eventually technology, eventually the market, I suppose, will catch up with technology because the tech's there. I bought this 42-inch 4K TV for $500 delivered. And that's affordable

easily. And it's really nice. I like it. But there's nothing to watch on it i guess i should i guess maybe i could find somewhere where i could download something 4k like maybe off a torrent site or something but then again it's a 40 gigabyte file which is a little outrageous that's obscene yeah and i don't know how long that would take for i don't know in my area i'm supposed to have 100 meg down soon yeah you'll be able to handle it you'll be able to get right into that but uh for the time being anyway uh i will not i'm gonna try and do the math on that i'll probably screw it

up but um it would be which i could i probably screw it up. But it would be... I'm putting it over Kyle. It would take me like 20 hours. So 40... Did you say 40 gigs? Times 8, so now we're 40 gigabits. And then times, I guess, 1,000 to get to that. And then divide that by 100.

So 3,200 seconds and then divide that by 60 53 minutes yeah so it'd take about an hour under ideal circumstances it's not bad at all that's that's doable but once again it's from that library and the facts may have changed since the last time I read it, but it seemed to me and to Chiz as well, after we read up on this stuff, because Chiz bought the same TV, that there's just not any content right now, not enough to make buying the TV worth it.

Maybe I'll go 1080p, especially if it's a projector, because then you can use the same screen. I don't know. I don't know what the best thing to do is i i mean the tech's gonna catch up to 4k i feel like i feel like by this time next year that that there will be an hdmi cable that can handle 4k or something like that there will be a player there will be a standardized 4k disc that's affordable but right now that's just not but

i don't think that's a reason not to buy 4K because it's not that much more expensive although 1080p is so cheap right now because you know 4K is coming in when you can buy a 4K TV for $500 or $600 the 1080p ones are dropping down even the like 40 inch

ones to like $300 or $400 yeah that's a good thing i'm maybe someday soon all the 1080p 1080p screens will be you know 100 200 and i can complete my whole four and high fahrenheit 451 room where all four walls are just a tv screen and i'll just sit in the middle and bask in my glory so do you think you guys are moving or is that idea kind of in? No, we're no, we're totally moving. We've got to finish the finish the house or she's she's moving to Colorado.

I think I have no idea where I'll go. I'll still be somewhere around here. OK, yeah, well, but we got lots of stuff to do before that's going to happen. Yeah. Part of me is like what's taking so long and i'm like well look in the mirror asshole don't ask what's taking so long about moving like you know here i am still not moving either we've got about 15 i would say about 10 or 15 000 worth of more uh work to do to the basement to get it completely finished up

uh i've also got to sell some real estate that i've got here and uh oh are you thinking of selling that yeah yeah i've got i'm getting uh i'm getting a few things taken care of right now uh i got the same lawyer that's working on that as as is working on my uh explosive licenses and stuff so getting all that stuff wrapped up and uh getting some money back out of that and then i'll figure out what kind of house i want to live in because i'm not really sure what i want to do this time around i uh i have really strongly been considering building a log cabin that's uh that's similar to that thing we stayed in but nicer because i feel like it's uh i don't know i like that a lot i feel like i understand exactly what you want

and it's super hard to get, right? Like, I want a log cabin, right? About the right size for two people. Not a whole family size log cabin, but call it like 1,700 square feet, right? Nice-ish. And it should be kind of like ski lodge-y looking.

Maybe lots of trees and stuff around you. And somehow Google Fiber. I think I can do that here, though. So I think I can get close to Athens, and I think I can be kind of out away from the city but still getting good internet, and I could build that thing for really cheap.

I don't know what size I would want or whatever, but for $75,000 you can get a very nice log cabin. I was thinking for $200,000 I bet you could build a pretty outstanding log cabin. I don't know what I'll do. I haven't really thought that far ahead. It's not really a pressing

issue right now since I haven't even started finishing up the work I have to do here. It's definitely on the burner. It's just a matter of time. Lots of stuff to get done before then. The explosive thing for one. I would strongly consider being your own

general contractor if you're going to have someone else to your house. Kitty is my general contractor. She handled last renovations. She literally did. We had a friend, and he hired. Actually, I guess he sort of gave her some advice. He knew some people, and she talked to each of them

and hired them to do their own little part. They did a good job. Our carpenter was so hardworking. He put down, I don't want to exaggerate how many square feet of flooring he did i guess he did at least 1500 square feet of yeah at least 1500 square feet of hardwood in a day our eventual carpenter the one that did like the work that stuck around yeah i don't have any issues with how hard he worked you know almost all of it is well one like he had some design things they decisions they made without me

and two his fucking nail gun shot nails with like like there's brads and then there's like finishing nails with big heads on them yeah and not framing nails like i don't mean to exaggerate but the the big heads you can see where he put it it's just like you use the wrong nail on this and it's stained so you know like you see the nail holes too often we had a friend come over they're like that's the kind of thing only you will ever care about it makes you feel better but if i was doing it myself it would have turned out much better and it'll uh and these are these are this this is on the exterior it's like finished trim and stuff, like the molding around the door and stuff like that. I know you don't like it when you stain over the putty and it leaves those black spots, but I like that. I think it gives it character.

Yeah, for me, I feel like that means, especially if the black spot's too big. Like, yeah, you just did it too much. But overall, it looks good. You take a step back, put away your magnifying glass, and it's a good-looking home. Oh, definitely so. It's an outstanding home. I'm looking forward to when Chiz moves in. Oh, yeah. Your guest home.

Where he'll have to quit smoking, finally. oh yeah your guest home well that would be smoking finally oh that would be so funny if chis could quit smoking and and he moved in over there oh that would be the best made yeah i don't know it'd be interesting to see how that works out like uh but yeah so far he hasn't done he hasn't quit smoking so it's not even on the to-do list gotta quit smoking he's got to yeah so have you totally 100 quit smoking yeah you won't even bring a pack of cigarettes with you to chicago no absolutely not you're really done good for you man yeah that's very cool um man i'm pretty psyched about that yeah so wait what was your motivation um uh you nailed it before partially vanity i feel you know the the smoke's gonna gonna make you age faster give you wrinkles and stuff like that um

that that was pretty much it you know i love that you don't want those those dark circles that you start to get really prematurely yeah gonna have yeah i get those anyway the what was i gonna say you do look more youthful more nubile zero even the um the one time i forget i think we saw an actor and you were like you know wow that guy's skin was it ethan hawk ethan you're like how can i make sure that i do that and i was like stop smoking and you're like yeah you're right but was that a pivotal moment or just yeah well a little bit a little bit i suppose it was just we were ethan hawk was doing that thing where he like raises his brow and his brow is so deeply wrinkled and creased here his forehead and it was

just gross like like like i don't know i bet if you google hawk like ethan if you google search ethan hawk's forehead there's others have talked about it I was like ah that looks terrible how does that happen how do you prevent that and I was thinking I was like moisturize and Woody's like well don't smoke for one thing I was like ah yeah that's true that's probably true when you quit like when you finally quit did you have like a system like where you just started smoking less and less or did you have like a hard and fast day of no more i vaped for probably two two weeks three weeks something like that beforehand uh i got a vaporizer it's sitting over there somewhere got a bunch of uh bunch of different uh flavors for it and different strengths and i just used it until I didn't you know I used that for a while and then weaned myself off of

that and then just stopped yeah that's great dude yeah I feel better wild card you can tell like an actual oh my bad my bad perhaps yeah you can tell like an actual difference in your breathing like you can run easier now you can lift easier yeah i can imagine yeah that makes a huge difference definitely so i miss it every now and then though because it's it's a really nice way to like deal with stress or like uh wind the day down or like after a cup of coffee or something like that but i don't know let's do something else it gives a reward almost yeah yeah yeah it's definitely cigarettes are nice they taste delicious especially like my favorite brand Marlboro smooth sweet peppermint II deliciousness watching shows like band of like

I'm not even a smoker but watching shows like Band of Brothers I'm like I wanted one of those everybody's always breaking out their Zippo and light one up. And you're just like, I wish I was a real man. Had me one of those. If I had one of those Lucky Strikes and a Zippo, then I'd be a real man. I'm trying to think. Sin City is really bad. Because Marv is constantly lighting another cigarette up.

And what is it? Mad Men, of course. Always lighting one up. And the drinking. Mad Men seems like they make drinking hard alcohol at like 1pm seem completely reasonable and okay. It was back then, right? Yeah, I think so, maybe.

I cracked a beer open the other day at like noon or something like that and everybody was looking at me like I was insane. I was like, I don't drink! I was like, why does it matter when i start drinking i was like i'm not going any fucking where if i start drinking at 9 a.m i don't see the problem with that because i'm only going to drink two beers yeah i don't know a little day drinking nothing wrong with that we'll save up for what is it next week yeah yeah next week i'm not sure what i'm gonna drink i'm kind of tempted to drink uh to go get like some baileys or something and uh and mimic what woody did last week last week

no it's gonna upset your stomach so i don't know how woody didn't feel even worse model pick the worst guy i don't get i don't get sick i think i think the cream would make it uh make it better uh as long as i don't drink too much as long as i keep it under control i don't know we have to be texting about that because we all need to make sure we get something near the same level i don't think i want beers again i think i'd like a drink so that i can like do a shot and like get it over with and then i can just sip on like uh some sort of like sprite or something in the meantime i feel like i could like keep control of how much i drink better that way i feel like I so don't want shots. I'd rather do woodpeckers

which is kind of the opposite direction of where you were headed. Just get a couple mini bottles. Because people will laugh seeing you take shots. That's what's funny about it. Me? Yeah, you gotta take a couple for the team. I found that video the other day of us

shotgunning beers in that hotel bathroom. Oh, oh my god. Yeah, I have that. I deleted the Aftermath video on that. It's gone. It will never be seen again. I have it. Have we told the story of that before? I don't remember the story, really.

Which one of us threw up from shotgunning the beer? Was it me? You did. I shotgunned one in the hotel room shotgunning the beer was it me you did yeah so i remember shotgunned one in the hotel room and you thought it was neat and you had never tried it before yeah and i was like okay i'll do another one with you and so i showed you like with a key or something how to poke it and then take the shotgun and you did it and you just must have breathed in i inhaled the beer into my lungs and there was just this point

we're standing like in the bathroom by the mirror and there was this point where i realized i had inhaled beer and i was just like in your face just dropped like because you did it as fast as you could and quite a bit was foamy getting on your shirt and like you had about two seconds of like i'm hardcore afterward before you're like and you you realized mistakes were made and you just yacked yeah everywhere all that up in the in the sink that was great i don't remember whose room that was but it wasn't mine yeah it wasn't mine either so i don't mind yeah i didn't either i don't think it was mine well i'm up for a wild card all righty pka episode 225 yeah all right