Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #232

Episode Date: June 4, 2015

This week on PKA, Chiz comes on the show and snakes and mice also join the show when conversing about domesticated wolves and the stock market!

Alright, welcome to PKA 232. In the pre-show, before we all started, we were just warming up, trying to choose what we should do for my next dog. My vote is still no dog. Do I get a vote at all? Wait, wait. I didn't know that was an option. You told me. My vote is for no dog as well. My vote is for the wolf. The wolf. Alright, so I'm going to this... Domesticated wolf website. The wolf. Alright, so I'm going to this domesticated wolf website. This can only be bad.

No. God darn it. I always have to fix this thing during the show, but I guess I'll just... So I've seen one of these in person. I went to a guy's house and he had one of these. It was 99% wolf. It looked like a wolf. You you know it looked like a dire

wolf or something from game of thrones it was oh my god you and these game of thrones crap you know for everyone else's uh input i know you i know you don't have any taste in tv so you don't watch game of thrones oh but he had this wolf and it was awesome. It was really cool. It was just like a dog in every way, except it was huge, and it had a much longer, thinner face and head. And I don't know. I thought it was really cool that this guy had a pet wolf instead of a dog. So here is a website where here is a blue wolf cross puppies. They're $1,500.

And you're giving me one? Even less. I just know that you're looking at those great danes And those those are really expensive and I just feel sorry for them because they came from that puppy mill You know my puppies came from the wilderness a concentration camp, okay, whatever you want to call it We saw what that house is 100 organic free range puppies, puppies right Kyle. How did you actually describe that place? Jurassic Park no no the place where the the shitty dogs were Described it as an Eastern European porn set yes You should link up ship show the show everyone it's course he would know

Show everyone. And of course he would know. I mean, who hasn't seen a little Eastern European porn? It's like the casting porn, if you've ever seen those. It's always this big, hairy, bald guy who you don't want to see. I mean, I guess I agree with Wings of Redemption. You want a pretty penis in your porn. And like, I don't want to see the wolf man banging this incredibly beautiful blonde lady in this casting video.

That's not what I'm going for. So, yeah, he's always filming those little videos of his in a place much like where these puppies are being bred like some sort of action doll or something just as fast as the mother. They can even keep the same website name, NightMagicPride.com. NightMagicPride.com, a porn site and this ludicrous website

to buy dogs from. You're crazy. They take very good care of their dogs. It's a little dog brothel. It is not a dog brothel. Oh my god, tell me those two aren't... It's not a dog brothel. The dogs don't get paid. It's a rape clinic. It is not.

That's the big part of dog breeding. It's breeding. It was the rape stand so that they can hold the female in a submissive position so that the male can breed her because they don't always want to. Is that true? Yeah. I heard it from Kyle.

It must be true. Kyle said it. Google search dog rape stand. Well, I'll do that now. I have yet to see the dog Kyle wants me to get. Get one of these. These guys like six puppies for $400. Oh my god, to see the dog Kyle wants me to get. Here, right here. Take your pick. One of these beautiful. This guy likes six puppies for $400.

Oh, my God. I see a dog rape stand. Here's one in it. Yeah. Here's one in it. Jesus. Yeah. Nobody raped these wolves.

All right. Let's pull up this. All right. So here's Kyle's thing. How do you know that this wolf? Oh, I found it. That's nice. The wolf wanted it.

Because there's puppies. Oh, I found it. That's nice. The wolf wanted it. Because there's puppies. Oh, right, right. The wolf wanted it because the wolf only does what it wants to. That's right. Here, look at this one. They don't know what they're doing. They're totally doing it wrong. Check this one out. Only the strongest male and female breed.

Dude, these look awesome. These dogs are doing it wrong in the picture I linked. That's not how you make pups. I'm pretty confident in that. I'm familiar with doggy style. That is not doggy style. It actually is. That's what happens. Dog physiology is a little bit different than ours.

They do not go butt to butt. They do not go butt to butt. I've seen dogs go after my sister-in-law. That's not how they do it. Does anyone want to lay some cash down before we start Google searching? That what we're seeing here is an entirely natural part of dog sex. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You said this is how they have sex.

Yeah, you implied that was... But they're in a mounted system. How is that natural dog sex? That's not happening in the show. The finest amount, the positioning of the dogs is all part of the natural dog sex that's not happening in the finest amount the positioning of the dogs is all part of the of the natural dog sex process most of the time my dogs have sex doggy style you mean dog breeding are you suggesting that dogs go butt to butt a hundred percent of the time when they breed saying that by the time that they finish butt to butt 100 of the time never seen this never even heard and Money lay money any anyone any any odds any odds any dollar amount. Let's go money

All right, all right five bucks for your ignorance five bucks five to one dollars We never bet that high. I'm taking this guy Five to one odds you pay $25. show me a video that's what I want I don't know if that's gonna be said it's do dogs have sex I mean doggy dog sex but how do dogs have sex all right oh wow look at this puppy that is a virgin dog why am I... Go with the videos. Yeah, there's videos there on YouTube. Oh, this is...

This is not what I wanted. I just want a puppy. Well, you should see where that comes from. You can't just eat the meat at the grocery store without taking responsibility. I've got it. I've got it. Here's how dog sex goes down. When the male attempts to mount the female, his penis is flaccid. In humans, this would constitute a non-starter. But canines are aided by a tiny little bone called a baculum.

Most of us have seen a dog hump. The legs of the dinner party guests you were hoping to impress usually take the brunt of such advances. And the resulting motion is not unlike what humans do while having sex. However, the two performances are surprisingly different. Humans hump to create friction.

Friction stimulates the genitals and causes the male to ejaculate. However, when a male dog humps, he's mostly just trying to get his reproductive organ in the right spot. Outside of reproduction, both male and female dogs hump, etc., etc. Once the penis is safely inside, true doggy style takes another turn from the position that shares its name with Snoop Dogg's seminal album. Is there a quiz in this?

I don't know. Blood rushes into the base of the penis called the bulbous glandus causing the organ to swell in size. At the same time, the female's vagina contracts against the penis creating what is known as a copulatory tie or chordal tie, or best of all, dog knot.

The male and female are now literally locked into one another. So, so far, we're doing regular doggy style. According to Miller's Anatomy of the Dog, the main payload of sperm is delivered with 80 seconds of entry, but the dogs have only just begun. As a way of sealing the deal, the male dog will now swing a leg up over the female back and stand directly behind her. To clarify, the dogs are still connected via penis locked into the vagina, and they will now stand butt to butt until the erection

subsides, which usually lasts around 25 minutes but can exceed an hour! Tell him I can exceed an hour sometimes! Yes, baby! More semen is ejaculated during this phase through which Tell him I can exceed an hour sometimes. Yes, baby. Those dogs aren't having fun anymore. More semen is ejaculated during this phase through which... I'm sorry.

Which is thought to push the first responders into the uterus and possibly initiate contractions in the uterine tubes. So the first load is just waiting for that second load to throttle it right in there. Yeah, yeah. It's like in Minecraft when you hit your friend with a sword in the back just to help him catch that other guy. Exactly. Just like that. We're just shooting loads. Can you imagine how much worse sex would be if you had to commit to spending an hour one-on-one right now? That'd be great, though, because then you know that the first load is never going to get him pregnant.

You have to do another one to get in there. I don't know if that's true. Breeding websites recommend you get down on the floor and comfort the female. Oh, and never ice the dog's generals in an attempt to separate them. Like, I was about to do that. Hey, stop that. I got some ice cubes. That just sounds like I'm introducing some nine and a half week shit into the breeding process.

Okay, so if you click my most recent link, you'll see some more of these, like, half part or parallel. Oh, look at that. Tell me that's not cool. Wait, but how is this going to be less vicious than our last one? But it's going to look adorable. It's not going to have that flushed up face.

So what I really liked about the green game is that they were pretty much couch potatoes. So these are part giant Alaskan Malamute and crossed with gray wolf that sounds couch potato right back me up what back me up what's wait sounds like a couch potato oh yeah sounds like a very energetic dog that we

are not sounds like a protector it sounds like if the wildlings were to come knockin you'd have your own dire wolf This dog won't bite someone's arm. It'll rip its fucking arm off. Okay? Where's your wolf Kyle? It's in Charlotte! You go look at him at least go look at him. We should- You know he would bring home a wolf puppy. He watches you-

This is not safe. Don't buy- I don't know! Fuck. Why, how are you entertaining this as an idea? This is not safe. Don't buy- AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA He doesn't look like a future killer at all Some of them have like mismatched eyes so like one eyes blue and one eyes green. Yeah, that's cool That's a marquee pet right there. You show a pet on a fucking leash Everybody's like whoa Woody just showed up with a fucking wolf and you're like yeah, he's a wolf master. Yeah Come on. I'll be a den leader. Kyle's a crackpot, and I'm not listening to him.

So, he has to get one first. Right. Kyle doesn't like... Kyle has excellent taste in dogs. He picked out Dak. Right. Let me try to find this picture someone tweeted me today of me and Dak on day one. It's pretty good. Why don't you get the wolf first Kyle and then we'll see how it goes.

I really like the... He has three dogs. What do you mean he has three dogs? I mean he has between two and four dogs. He has this crazy dog and then what else? And then he has two baby dogs. What are they? He's got a Jack Russell mix and then there's a weenie dog. One's called Kermit and one's called Muppet. Am I on target?

So he has tiny dogs? He is not qualified to judge large breed dogs. Oh my god. You have just lost your man card. Hand it in! Oh my god. Tiny dogs? Whoever compensates with a dog. I don't know what you're compensating for with the giant farting horses that you call dogs. Excuse me. We don't bring livestock into the living room for normal people.

You've got a shovel! You don't walk that dog, that dog walks you. Oh, she does. No, Jack was the one that walked well. Harley's doing good. If you run, they're running with Harley now, which is funny. Because Jackie and Hope are running, and Harley's just walking. Like, she doesn't even break into a pant or anything. Hope will get into a sprint, and the dog is just like, I don't know what you're trying to prove.

It's a great day. It's like running a horse. You're not exercising the horse exercising you God is this the check click on this thing is it I'm both actually the way the fastest way to share it is just send you the gas Twitter who between its latest we click on the just there I just lay sleep Jackie in that you should not buy

a wolf because when you buy a wild animal like that, you're setting yourself up to be like those two guys who got mauled by the not-weir that they were fucking with all the time. It's a wild animal. You shouldn't have it around, and if it ends up killing you, people will just laugh and say, you shouldn't have owned a wolf, you dumb fuck. You asked for it. Don't listen to Mr. Roboto. What do you want? These are not wild animals their their their bread from you know other domesticated animals he's not yet the list and

and bread from domesticated stock and their you know now the beautiful I know how to change how actually think the wolf thing is kind of cool. No. I put my half vote into wolf. You don't have any vote? You're not in this marriage? It's going to be hard for you to get any fencing done

from a non-voting member. Oh, right. You were coming to put my fencing. Okay, everybody, tweet Kyle to do my fence. I had eight rednecks lined up. Okay, everybody, tweet Kyle to do my fence. I had eight rednecks lined up. Oh, bullshit. Bullshit.

You were so full of crap. No. It was funny. All right. You ever see those vans show up and just an infinite number of Mexicans get out? Whatever. I was going to show up with a pickup truck just like that. I do not believe you.

They dig holes for fun. Were you coming tomorrow? Next day? Right. Whatever. Drop them off on the way to the airport.? Next day? Right. Whatever. Drop them off on the way. Right, right, right. He's so full of crap. Uh-uh. I don't believe you.

I'm not getting a wolf. You get the wolf first. See if your other dogs survive the wolf and then I'll let you know. The wolf dog that I saw was like 99% wolf, I think. Some of these seem to be more like 60-40 or something like that with Malamute. I don't know much about that, but he told me his

was quite expensive, but I'm looking at these now and they're like $400 to $800. I am considering it now. It's a favorite stability with a pet, but still, that'd be cool to have one. And I would like it if I had a protector against Dak. You go upstairs and they battle.

Yeah, Dak would be like, woo, woo! And the other side would be like, hooray! Just chills run up your spine. It's a full-on dire wolf. It's, like, shoulder high. It's like, yeah, bitch. It's my bodyguard. I think that'd be cool.

So I am kind of considering getting one now. So we should get one for the same. Maybe we should get one for the same. Yeah, we'll go shopping together. No. We can combine all our activities. We'll like do a video shoot, a little plastic surgery, and dog pickup in one trip. No. No.

No. Destroyer fun. I know. All I'm saying is three halves beats one. I'm getting some hair lasered off. Right. Where? I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding. No, no, no. I'm going to have my pubes lasered into the shape of a giraffe. A giraffe? That's how you... Elephant. An elephant right at the front with the trunk. I like the way you're thinking.

You just need the ears and the eyes. There you go. It's good thinking. Wolf talk. Alright. Alright. So we've got Dr. Shiz on tonight, and

we were talking a little bit before the show. What? Oh, right, right. Alright. Thanks, honey. Okay, bye. That was so smooth, by the way. I got no idea what you were talking about. I was like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey!

I wonder what Prop Jackie's bringing. Okay. Good point, Chiz. We've got Dr. Chiz on the show. We were talking a little bit before the show about the stock market. It's great.

Woody has a Chiz hat. you put that under your head phone? new Yeah, look at that. Oh, he wears a lot better. It's got like a little military It hangs out more. I enjoy that good on you rest of the show full-time. It's a little hot in here, but I Well, it's always hot when I work, but all right. It's always hot when I wear mine, but I deal. So we were talking about your stock market. What do you look like, that little kid, the Asian kid from Indiana Jones? Short stop.

Right? Oh, Mr. Jones, run! Mr. Jones, run! I'm half ready to do some karate back there. That was one of my favorite ones. Remember when she had to reach through the hole with all the bugs and everything to push the button to stop it from smooshing Indy? All right, so I want to talk to you about the stock thing. I know you said you made some money a little while ago, and I was wondering.

I have a couple questions, and I'll just let you run with this. What are you doing on the stock market specifically? Because like I said, there's a lot of different things. I understand buying low and selling high, and I understand getting out before it's too late. But when it gets into put options and futures and dealing with currencies and world markets and stuff, I don't know very much about that. So what specifically are you doing, and how successful have you been thus far? Can you can you even go back to basics and define what a stock is like? If you want me to, I'll take it, but you can go.

So first, I trade primarily options, calls and puts and mainly around earning season. So because those are big catalysts, you know, typically, you know, miss earnings they're gonna go up or down and depending on where the stock is trading at it can be a lot really volatile so like netflix is a 400 it was a 400 stock when we were on our trip it's now a 630 stock and that was a month ago so that's what i primarily do now is trade options and then i'll take um i'll take my winnings from that and then find things that i really like and invest long term and then still have capital to do my trading with options or if there's a day trade i see that happens like today i'll do that um stock is a piece of a company that's what a stock is an option is a contract saying you know say the stock trades at seven

dollars you might write a contract for it's a hundred shares each contract and it's like you know the strike price is 50 so what that means is you're entitled if you execute this option you will buy a hundred shares of this company for 50 dollars and woody's familiar with that he was given options when he was at cisco and stuff like that um and the reason trading options is because they're they're they're they're very risky because say I pay $200 for one contract okay if they also have expiration dates on them too so I pick one a month out okay if it goes up the price the option if the stock goes up

the price the option will also go up typically depending on how it moves with the data and the theta is and whatnot so then I'll sell it but if it goes down or doesn't do what i want it to do and the expiration date is ticking along the clock well that option is worth a lot less it could be worth nothing so like i put 200 bucks in that's zero it could be finite yeah i just write that off as a loss whereas if you buy shares of a company and it goes down yeah technically you're losing money but you you have stake in something you own part of that company and it might down, yeah, technically you're losing money, but you have stake in something. You own part of that company and it might go back up later. You can wait 10 years if you want to, but with options, there's an expiration date on

them and they devalue over time. So can I jump in and fill that out a little bit? So he mentioned that when he dues it, you said it's typically 100 shares? Right. One contract is 100 shares. Typically 100 shares. And the stock price hypothetically used was 50 bucks, and it might cost $200. Now, the thing is this. Normally, if he wanted to invest in this company without doing options, he'd be able to buy four shares for that $200.

So if the thing goes up like a buck or two, then he's making $4 or $8. But with options, he can really multiply both his risk and his reward you know he's for $200 if this thing goes up 200 bucks I'm sorry if this thing goes up two bucks like we talked about before instead of making eight dollars he's making $200 because because he's buying a hundred of these you know calls but but he all he accurately pointed out the downside which is like if the stock doesn't rise like if the stock even just stays where it is then you lose all 200 whereas typically like if you know if you would have buy shares of that

company it goes down like 3% or something. Then that $200 becomes worth, what is that, $196 or something like that? You barely lose much at all if it goes down 3%. Typically, when you buy options, the strike price, the price that it needs to pass, is above the current price. If you're buying options to buy this stock at $50, it's probably at $49 today. So that's why he's buying it around earnings, hoping that the thing sort of leapfrogs the current price and gets him into the money. Right, and you pointed out that everybody does.

Everybody uses these same tenets to trade stocks and options and purchase them, whereas this is just like gambling. Far more people buy actual stocks than options, put some calls. But like Woody said, the benefit is, like you said, if I wanted to buy Netflix, for example, it's a $600 stock. I could buy like $10 if I wanted to. But if it moves $5, that's $50 or whatever. But if I play, if I know the right calls and get the right move, you know, that could be multiple thousands.

And it has the added benefit. You can kind of invest with options, too. So, like, in January, I bought a yearly Disney, a couple of yearly Disney contracts. And they're worth double now. So, I technically am kind of vested with my option. And I can hold it that whole time where I couldn't do that with shares and it wouldn't be worth anything, too. And just I hope I'm filling in the blanks and people like this. Typically, you pay more for a longer window.

Right. So if you're betting like if you're buying the right to buy a share, 100 shares at 50 bucks for a month, that will be cheap in comparison to having that window last for an entire year right exactly and and it's and it's risky if you don't give yourself more time too and like each day on the calendar that takes by it's like okay it's now worth 40 cents less 40 cents less now whereas if you've got a year it's like okay it doesn't really start to devalue until three months into this year-long contract or whatever. But you definitely aren't paying a lot more. And like you also said, if it, you know, the stock could just not move. It could do nothing if you buy it at the wrong time too. Like it, the premium of what the options go for increases around the hype too. So like if you're, if you buy something on the day of earnings and they're going to release earnings after hours and it

doesn't move, well, you know, if you had stock, you'd be fine, you know, you'd be sitting pretty. But because there was a premium and they, you know, they kind of project like a 4% move based on options activity that didn't happen. Well, now your option might be cut in half now at the value because you got in on when they were at a premium as opposed to like earlier a week ago or something like that. And just as an FYI, if a company gives you options, those are typically like the most awesome options, right? Like Chiz is talking about like one month or one year. At Cisco, my options lasted for nine years, right? So if they went up any time in the next nine years, which at Cisco, no guarantee, but typically nine years is a pretty nice window. And you're just trying to choose when to maximize your gain, not get a gain at all.

Yeah. If you look through filings of companies companies you can see when people exercise their options and it's kind of a red flag too it's like okay this guy's option didn't expire until 2025 why would he exercise them now if the company is doing so well and sell those shares when he had an option that's not going to expire for another decade you know yeah so but uh so that's what insider so someone could have told him like we're about to get fucked right is that correct well that's all public record if you're a 10 owner or director and all these other things you have to file a form for every time you sell buy exercise options awarded options all that stuff so that's all public knowledge now if you know sometimes people get in on that information sooner because they're watching where these filings go up you know and some people catch them later

there's that but that's all public but one thing about short-term investing which is what she's talking about is I've always felt like I didn't have any special knowledge right like maybe you're just totally in love with GoPro as a product and you think man man, this company is going to explode or whatever. But do you know more than the other people who were trading this stock? Like, do you have any special insight? Because there are people you're competing against to make money who probably do have a special insight. You know,

she just likes to give me credit for my Netflix call, but all I really was was a happy customer. Like, you know, like which sometimes is a good pick. Like I bet on the children's place a while was a happy customer. Like, you know, like, which sometimes is a good pick. Like I bet on the children's place a while back, my wife was like, you know what? This company is the greatest. Their clothes are more stylish and they're higher quality and their prices are competitive. And I looked at it and I was like, huh, well, I'll just look at their financials and their current ratio was good.

Their earnings per shares were strong. Like everything about them was healthy company and uh i was like huh so the customer experience is great and the company is is really healthy and i looked at the size of the market like baby gap was like 40 times larger i'm like this thing's got some room to grow and it turned out to be a really good buy um but when you're betting short term like that i never really feel like like i know what's going to happen in the next month i it feels a little gambly to me which is why i don't do it a little bit yeah it's totally speculative when you're playing through earnings season it's totally speculative which is not the same as gambling there's a more educated assessment done in that process a little like poker a little bit

but um but earning season is totally speculative they could beat you know they could beat earnings and have good project good forward guidance and the stock will go down they could miss and have decent guidance and it'll fucking run up like you literally don't know that's why you just need to hedge yourself like i hedge in all my trades you know so if it goes which means i i'm playing the long side and the short side so if it goes either way i should make money or at least not take a loss you know so you know i play them right so like netflix and amazon i play those and i hedged myself and they fucking rip and roared because they're so there's their stock trading at such a high

price that like a like a five percent move for like netflix or whatever it's like 30 40 bucks or something like that i think that's wrong math but you know what i mean you know it's not something where like gopro which is like a 40 40 or 50 stock right now where if that moves it's gonna move maybe three dollars four dollars on earnings something like that unless the ceo resigns and sells all his shares and then it'll run up to 62 and then go down to fucking 40 like they did in january and they're pieces of shit and they don't have any faith in their company i'm not i'm not salty at that i would have made 10 grand on that play alone it went up to 62 they they murdered on the top and bottom lines and then it's like oh the coo resigned and she sold all of her shares and this was like

their their second uh report since they went public but you know that i expected that to be followed by a bunch of like controversy and has like did they have a bunch of like refilings where they had to correct previous financial statements or anything like that i didn't see that no no yeah i mean it's just no one noticed it turns out she just cashed out yeah she cashed out she had been cashing out every time they were able to sell their shares and just no one picked up on it and then like the day they reported their earnings everyone was amazed how great they beat on all fronts and then it was it was coupled with the coo was resigning so it just went right back down and tanked and everyone looked at the filings it was like oh shit do you have any other questions i feel like chis and i

are just running with stock talk how much money do you need to get into this like i know like just buying a stock probably doesn't make any sense and how do you even get into this like i know like just buying a stock probably doesn't make any sense and how do you even get into it like is there a website like i don't understand any of this that might be a dumb question i mean the best thing to do would be to get some books and honestly read it or go to investopedia.com and look up all of the information and learn it all like don't try to take shortcuts i mean i've got a question go on what's easier gaining enough knowledge to be to be comfortable sell you know with push options or becoming a good civ player what's hard player is definitely hard I'll be right back I caught a mouse and it's gross by the arms apparently with a trap

She's freaking out Well grabbed a mouse by the arms all right then By the arms well yeah, never really heard of that happening Maybe it's a glue trap those are really inhumane. I hope not. That's horrible. Have either of you ever used a glue trap for mice? No, it was always a trap with peanut butter.

So, it's this little pad and it's covered with a tar-like glue and if you step in it's like Looney Tunes. It's like taffy and you're stuck to it. And inevitably you've got this mouse. Oh! Is it dead?

Oh, yeah, it's in a trap. Yeah, snap, it's right in half. Oh, shit. Well, that's the end of that mouse. Now, what did you put, peanut butter on it? Peanut butter, yeah, yeah. This guy, I assume it was him, has been successfully emptying my mouse traps for three or four days now.

He just, he completely removes all the peanut butter and my wife mocks me. Do you adjust them? When you set it, do you adjust it to be extra touchy? Yeah. No, I just set it again. Well, who outsmarted who now, little mouse? His eyes are so bugged out like well you did I mean you did have his next yeah after flayed it looking

squished him real good there had him don't don't don't touch the I'm gonna throw in the trash I'll be right back there's some sort of there's probably some fleas on there, some bubonic plague on them or something. I'm sure it's... Riddle! Right next to pigeons. That's why he needed the peanut butter. He was deprived of all of his vitamins.

He was just... Poor guy. He's fighting diseases. Poor guy. It's a fucking mask. Get out of here. Rodents. Just pigeons that can't fly.

Those glue traps. It's just... Those are the ones where they step in it, the glue trap will move, but they basically, like, tangle themselves in a mess of glue and shit. And they're just stuck to it. They're just stuck to the glue, like, kill me! And I would, I remember my mom would sometimes use it, and I'd be like, Mom, why the fuck do you get these glue traps? Why don't you get a regular kill trap? She's like, like well you kill it

and i'm just like well how do you kill a mouse in a glue trap without like gluing yourself up or like getting covered in blood so i found there were two ways one was smashing it with a shoe which wasn't a great idea in the end not even a shovel i was in a hurry and there was a shoe so i fucking shoot him uh but but by the end I just started shooting him. You were in a hurry. I was like... I was watching... I have places to go, people to see!

That's how it was. See, I would have done something like put it in the front seat of my car and turn my car on and then close the garage door. See, I would have taken it in my car and thrown it out the window as I drove. Aw, then he's just stuck there and the ants get his eyeballs. Someone will run over him, I'm sure. No, the ants will get his eyeballs. That happens every time.

It'd be terrible. So by the end, I started shooting him with a.22. That seemed a lot more humane. After he had suffered for 15 hours trying to peel his face off the ground. No more than an hour or two. But still, it's terrible. So don't get those glue traps there's even uh shock traps now that'll electrocute the little guy in there that seems more humane oh i've seen those yeah and you can't even really

see them afterward they're totally inside this thing if you're gonna do the glue trap bullshit why not just get the actual cage thing because at least then he's not. It's got to be a really tiny cage to catch a mouse. It's usually, you know, for rats and, like, bigger varmints, I think. I've caught some stuff with live traps. It's fun. Raccoons? What do you do with them? Just catch it for the fuck of it, or?

Yeah, just turn them loose right after. Yeah, just wanted to, like, oh, yeah, there's a possum up close, guys. Like, some people have never seen stuff, and, you know. Just want to terrorize these animals. Yeah, to like, of course, save their lives. He's got a whole bunch of fucking traps with rodents and shit in them.

Look at this, guys. It's a possum. This is the state of the entire flock. No, I like... Awful. Horrible. I really feel... I'm really worried he's going to get some sort of bubonic plague now. I feel like he touched the mouse and then like-

Yeah, he touched the mouse. I really didn't think he touched the mouse. He's gonna come, he's gonna squash his hands, but then he's gonna touch the headset when he puts it back on, and then he's gonna lick his finger, and then it's in him. He's gonna eat something. Yeah. He's just not gonna die. Yeah.

But he's one step away from like licking a dead rat. That's what just happened there. That can't be good for you. What an embarrassing way to die in this day and age. Getting a disease from a mouse that you'd already caught in 2015 in your palatial mansion estate. Because you didn't rub it on your podcast. Anything for the show. Yeah, that's disgusting. Awful.

Sanitize those headphones. No. Told you. What did you say, Kyle? I was like, watch. He's going to come back. You know, he's going to touch the headphone. That's where he touched.

You know, he went from mouse to headphone, washed his hands, then back to headphone, then right into his mouth. Did you say that? Yeah. Yeah, that was my I don't give a fuck. I didn't wash my hands. He's fine. All right. He's got an immune system for it. That's right, baby!

Practice. You gotta practice on those bubonic devices. I'm gonna laugh so much at this wedding if you're just like puking your guts. He just starts bleeding from the nose mid-series. I could just go to Rat Plague now. Is investment talk over? I think so. How much money do you make? Huh?

How much money do you make, I think he asked. And Taylor is just staring into the distance. Counting the losses and everything, 21,000. 21,000 over what period of time? That includes September. So from September to basically January, I was trying to do what I saw Big T doing, which is penny stocking and small cap things and a lot of day trade shit. Penny stocking.

And I blew up. Well, not even just penny stocking, like micro caps, like things that are between $5 and $10 and stuff because that's appealing. I can play with that with a six to one margin account. But no, I lost so much money i blew up with like a thirty five hundred dollar account and stuff like that but since i've educated myself properly and like know how to read filings and all of that you know i've turned it around so my losses are small and i play the big boys for the big wins like amazon and netflix and now having said that over what period of money spread out over at a given point like how many different companies or

stocks like I guess I don't understand if this is like you're pouring everything into Amazon and then you take it out and then you go to something else or if you're like really diverse no I've got a bunch of January calls among a different things a lot of oil Disney Disney. I own 100 shares of Starbucks because they split recently. So they went from like $90 to like $45. So I grabbed 100 shares of that. And then I keep

like half of my money liquid and then that lets me play whatever I want to play. I don't typically dump all my money into any play, but given how I know how to play things like Netflix and Amazon now, the stakes will probably get higher in those plays with i got a thing though so in the period from september to january you felt like you were uneducated and you were not making money you're losing money totally i was following people and then you turn it around and from the period from

january to now the thing is from september to January of last year, the market was going down and then the market turned around and you started making money again. Who's to say that even an educated Chiz wouldn't lose money in a downward market? Totally. I lose. There's down days. It was a 250 point down day yesterday and all of my portfolio went down. I'm long, baby. But it's certainly a large number. I didn't even notice.

Just for the record, what I like to do is different than just... That's a lot of units. There's Dow Jones points. If people are curious, I know, because some people might be interested in my approach too. I go long. I invest in the S&P 500 almost exclusively or majorly. Majorly? How do you know?

Majorly S&P 500 in the index fund in the U.S. stocks. And I just let it roll. It compounds at about 10% a year. And then you just keep doing that until eventually your money earns more money than you do. And I'm at a point now, like sort of later in my life where I've got a lot in savings and then I just let my money grow. And I totally recommend everyone do that instead of just saying, oh, like what here and what I said, and then go doing that. Like, that's a good way to like lose whatever two thousand dollars you've saved up. Like you

really need to be educated and know like like I told you, I hedge all of my positions so I minimize my losses or just don't take one and stuff like that. Like, yeah, I did. I just, I think that was not a gap to jump in. I did something similar for hope, um, when she had her christening. So not everyone gets this. I don't mean to, I don't know, but when she had her christening, um, we did like a party type thing.

Like lots of people do christenings. Right. And, uh, the total amount we got from that was like a party type thing. Lots of people do christenings, right? And the total amount we got from that was like $1,000. And I was like, all right, here she is, like three months old. She got a grand for her christening. We're opening up her college account right now. And she's been saving and compounding for college since she was just a few months old. She'll be able to pay for college.

Won't go into debt. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, to me, I don't know if Jewish people or Muslim have anything like a christening where they give you money for having a baby. Yeah. A bar mitzvah?

A bar mitzvah? Well, see, bar mitzvah. Fucking money. Yeah, and they do. Probably enough to pay for college. But they're like 13 at that point. A christening is like three months. And the dollar amounts, like you say, are much lower.

What is a christening? Let me kick a guess at it. Is that when you actually get your Christian name and then you have a soul or something? How does the religion work there? I think... You sacrifice a small animal. There's a lot of bread being passed around.

We don't do the animal. Sprinkling of the blood onto the infant's forehead. Yeah. Ah, like a little bit like Lion King. Do you want to know what it is? A christening, if I have this right, it's the one where they dip your head in water and it's

to absolve you. Yeah, your baptism, christening, whatever. Oh, shit. Am I mixing up christening with baptism? I think I am. I know baptism is the water. Christening, whatever. Oh, shit. Am I mixing up christening with baptism? I think I am. I know baptism is the water. Christening, yeah. Baptism is what I'm trying to talk about all this time.

Christening, that's like when you're 13 and it proves you know enough about the Bible to just like pass some test and whatever. It's like a Christian bar mitzvah. Baptism is the one I'm actually talking about. I didn't do any of this shit. It's when they dip your head in water. I was baptized. Oh, go to hell. Really? Yeah, yeah. I don't do any of this shit. It's when they dip your head in water. I was baptized. Oh, go to hell. Really?

Yeah, yeah. I don't think I get to go to heaven. Yeah, no. You go to purgatory. I want to get this out. Baptize babies. Baptism, they dip your head in water, and my understanding is it's to absolve you of your original sin, which means you passed through a vagina,

and that was your sin, you evil son of a bitch. And they need to... You weren't even married to her, touching her vag. Disgusting. Yeah, passing through your mom's vag is a sin, and you need to be baptized to get that off of your soul. Yes, in the Christian religion, you start out with a strike against you. How bullshit is that? It's ridiculous.

Yeah. No, you start out with all three strikes. And if the baby dies and the little tiny watered in his head He burns for the rest of eternity Purgatory with all the other whores and I'm bad with me He'll bring the baby Yeah, I was as well. My kids were too now that I think about it.

Kyle, you're fucked. We ain't going to be there, man. I don't think it was a good deal. I'm going to be hanging out with the monsters. Someone mentioned it once and I was like, eh. Yeah, we kicked off the college accounts with the baptism money. And yeah, whatever. I could talk forever about investments

people probably don't want to hear it but investment talk pka yeah i think it's pretty interesting because i have i already know more than i did at all about this i've just never done any research that was kind of kind of informative chis i didn't know you knew so much about this shit yeah well i have to otherwise i'd lose all the money. I asked Chiz whether he thought it was easier to be a good Civ player or be good at what he's doing now. He said it was much easier to deal with the stocks than a good Civ player. Because I'm not needing to think 10 steps ahead or get in the mindset of my opponent or anything like that.

Like, all right, if I move there, micro. There's a lot of shit going on in Sam. I still don't know, like, 40% of the game, 30%. Like, there's a lot that isn't there. You know, Kyle will be like, did you know you could do this? I'm like, nah. And then I'll be like, did you know you could do that? He's like, really? Like, yeah. He's been in the game the whole time.

Didn't know. We all just learned what the Terracotta Army does, like, yesterday or the day before. Yeah. The description is wrong it's like you know hey gives you another one of all your units and i'm like so i would have thought if you had nine archers you'd get 18 archers but kyle it sounds like you want to jump in well yeah it's it's i think verbatim it says provides a copy of each of your military units and like what he said i in my head that's always been yeah copy them all

give me give me give me you know it's called the terracotta army you would think it would double your army exactly lots of one thing so there have been times in the past where i don't go for the terracotta army often i don't think any of us do which is part of our ignorance on this but like i went for it and but first i built what i built like 10 archers and i was like it's time to crush like 20 archer push and and uh i got one more archer and it was just so lame it was just so uh it gives you a copy of each type so if you have like 10 archers and 10 artillery and 10 knights you'll get another archer knight and artillery now you'll have 11 of each and you're like well time put in yeah no not unless you have a very varied army you know you get a scout and a warrior and an archer and a cannon and one of uh one of everything it's too bad it doesn't apply

to boats or get in the city i actually like the wolves i think they're kind of cool i think it's a great idea pretty cute and badass and they're affordable that's the other thing i feel like if this thing goes bad you put it down go back you know go you can still go get her this like 3500 devil hound that's what i'm gonna call that those on the website itself at least yeah hellhounds like like two out of the five pictures their eyes are glowing green those things look they are hellhounds like like two out of the five pictures, their eyes are glowing green. Those things look terrible. They are hellhounds from Supernatural. If you've seen the hellhounds in Supernatural when he's got the glasses on,

it's got a scrunched up, fucked up face, man. Yeah. Like those stupid Danes. I like great Danes. We have one left, but the wolf thing seemed way cooler. Plus, it was in Charlotte, which is preferable to the Gulf Coast near Georgia. Do not buy a dog from that person. That's like an 11-hour drive for you.

I wanted Jackie to... My thing has just been take a breath, take a breath. And some people give me advice on this over Reddit, which I don't really appreciate. Like, you know, I don't think Woody should get a dog because it's disrespectful to Jack's memory You know why don't you let us handle this like It's funny Jackie Bob like that one looks like Jack and then the guy that says that's disrespectful to bring up get another dog

It's like I'm looking for an exact copy of my last dog female It's got a similar face the name they gave it is pretty goddamn close to what i called mine that'll do that'll do right i'll double down yeah that way it's like it never happened yeah exactly you know i remember have fond memories but i got i got the new one now it's like i never lost him and the dog has no idea that he's like the fourth charlie and that string of weird yeah duplicate pet process i i to me like like let's say hypothetically you know someone's dog died and they replaced him right away or they waited a year that's on you man like you get to decide whatever you want

you know but but there have been a lot of people giving me their opinions on like you know what's respectful to my dead dog and what's not and stuff and it's just like i i don't think there was ever a period in my life in which i was that like like these are socially stupid like they're drawing a parallel like all right god forbid if jackie died it's like all right next week woody goes and gets another wife just looks just like Jackie I didn't know people were giving you shit advice about your dog like they think up in a doggygy heaven looking down he sees you coming all sad replacement woody i'd kill that dog

disrespectful there have been a number of those like not it's not just a one or two i mean it's like a dozen people have told me like whether i should or whether i shouldn't or any of that and it's just like well i i guess to some extent i invite people into my life i should expect that but on the other hand i didn't expect all that get a wolf don't get a wolf i think i think you should at least go look at those wolves i think i should start with google i think i should google see what other wolf owners' experiences have been. And, you know, are they healthy? Like, you know, you tell the thing about, like, you know,

at some point this guy's going to challenge me, and I'm going to fight that wolf and whatever. I'd like not to do that. You're not going to win that battle. This isn't like training a beagle to know that you're scared. I'm sure there's a website, regretfulwolfowners.com. Right? It was so adorable. Then it just attacked me in the scared. I'm sure there's a website, regretfulwolfowners.com. There's a website. Right? It was so adorable.

Then it just attacked me in the night. I didn't know what to do. Took my firstborn. I say get the wolf, though. I like the wolf idea. I mean, you've got guns and a lot of land. From having a wolf in your home, like that lady with the monkey, then they have to do an interview where it's like,

I should do it. I'm going to the wolf. Because he's a wild animal. You I should do it. I'm a wolf. I should do it. I'm a wolf. Like, you shouldn't do it. No joke. So you're right. But, like, I don't get to just –

So the guy that Kyle knows who has a wolf is not a family man. So he makes decisions for himself, right? I, on the other hand, have to consider, like, I can't just be like, oh, well, if there's a wolf attack, you know, am I willing to live with the consequences? It's like, no. What if a wolf attacks Colin? Am I willing to have him live with the consequences of my decision?

So I need to do some research. And what if it has other shit? I bet it has really gross-smelling pee or something like that that attracts other wolves. It's 100% efficient. This is the original dog, alright? It's made correctly. It lives on raw meat. It takes care of itself.

It'll get its own pack. It'll be great. You want it coming around with its friends? No, he'll go off and do his pack stuff. Attend the meetings, you know. I feel like you need to Google search for this, Kyle. Because you went from 0 to 60 real quick on the wolf idea. No, I've always thought that. I've been thinking that for a while.

I like the idea of... And from that website, it seems like they're pretty affordable. And they're crossbreeding them with Malamutes, I think. Those giant Alaskan Malamute things. So, I don't know. They look really pretty, too. Like I said, they had blue eyes, and some of them had really light coats. I don't know.

I kind of want one. I mean, they are way cheaper than the real dog. I paid two grand for Jack. And what is up with this 99% wolf, 1% dog? Is the Federal Bureau of Wolf Analysis making sure that that's correct? Or could they just sell you a wolf? I don't know if there's a Federal Bureau of Wolf Analysis. How does that work?

How do you get 1%? I guess it's a couple pups down the generation. I don't know if there's a federal bureau of wolf analysis. How did that work? How do you get 1%? I guess it's a couple pups down the generation. I don't know. They had to start doing this 300 years ago. No, it's relatively fast. But I think the thing is, legally speaking, it has to be at least 1% dog. And I was told this thing was 99% wolf, so I don't know. Can you breed any dog?

Because what if a wiener dog went up against this 99% wolf? Yeah, I think you can. Wiener wolf. A wiener wolf. That would be awesome. A little tiny. It doesn't get any bigger, but it's ferocious as fuck. What a sad, misunderstood existence that animal would lead.

I'm the alpha. I'm the alpha. Matt, it's like His legs are like three inches long. It's just like waddling along with that weenie body. His stomach is rubbing against the ground as it hunts. It's the weenie business! I like that little weenie

dog. Those things are cool. They are cool. They can be mean. When you think about it, isn't it kind of fucked up that we did that to dogs? Where it's like, now let's do this one. Weezing can hardly live, but dogs where it's out this one wheezing can hardly live But I think it's cute make more Right look at mine. It's got a fucked up nose Just like a rat

Yeah Yeah, cuz I feel like they took a prairie dog and fucked it with some dogs. Yeah, like we know Oh, oh, I mean, how do you get a wiener dog? Think of the kind of breeding you'd have to do. You find the most phallic pups, and you just breed those until eventually you get a wiener dog. That is true. Yeah.

Maybe. I don't know. I have no idea. I think you should go with the wolf. I'm considering the wolf now, but I don't think I got room for a wolf in my life right at this moment. I mean, you might as well start an adoption center over there if you start adding more dogs. You've got too many dogs

as it is. I mean, they're literally all over the place. You've got a Jack Russell, you've got a Wiener dog, you've got a fucking German killer. You can't introduce a wolf into that mix. I would like to. I really would. Do you have those wolf into that mix i would like to i really would do you have those ama questions yep god i don't think a wolf dog is a good idea i think it's a great idea what do you find in

woody are some of your a bunch of images of attacks i put my face like it needs a lot of exercise that's the thing and like jackie said one of our favorite part about Great Danes is they're truly lazy dogs. I mean, they're perfect in terms of like exercise. I love that when I take them outside, they're super athletes. They're just like covering 30 yards in a couple of strides. They're horses out there. But then 99% of the day, they are just lazy couch potatoes, which is ideal. Like I love that. Their metabolism can't support those enormous legs. So you take them outside and they're like beautiful bounding horses and then you put them inside and they're just like cuddly jelly filled dogs or something. I think that's nice. Wolves apparently need to be

exercised a lot. They also need to be on an all meat diet, it says. One of the questions it says, can you afford to supply your animal with two to five pounds of quality meat a day for 15 years? Jesus Christ. Two to five pounds of quality meat. Well, see, if you don't exercise him so much, that number goes down to like, you know, half a pound a day.

You just turn him loose and he'll get it. Where's this you have to exercise him? He'll just get fat and be adorable. Then you know he can't attack your ass. One of the best types of meat is venison from fresh Roadkill deer, but you need a permit to pick it up really I don't want to go looking for roadkill feed my dog in the power wagon come on Winch him back come on It'll be a part of your life use your chainsaw to butcher it without back

I think we can work with this you just turn it into a bitch wolf you feed him like you know normal dog food stuff You don't exercise them that much and now you've got an awesome wolf that won't attack anything Have you ever had a dog in which you've had problems and gave up the dog if so stop here Don't get a wolf hybrid. It won't be different. It won't be easier. It won't be different it won't be easier it won't be better it will be worse you said you said just turn it loose you can't just yeah it's very loose in your neighborhood it's gonna come back with five to ten pounds or whatever of neighbor cats and other shit that's gonna get you he won't have a mouse problem anymore so well I mean that's the worst case scenario of course but I

feel like that the cats would supplement his diet so I wouldn't have to be getting as much roadkill. Yeah. He'd be getting venison every day. Dude, this is crazy. For the first four or five months of the life, the puppy must be restricted from any

contact with adult canines. However, it has to have some contact so it won't fully imprint on humans. This is dangerous since an imprinted wolf will direct all its social behavior towards humans, including sexual behavior and social aggression. Ah. This is why you don't buy animals.

A few visits of 20 to 30 minutes around other canines is plenty. Jesus Christ. Have a 200 square foot puppy pen, a secure den. So this badass wolf has conjugal visits with other dogs basically so that he stays a little normal, you know? He doesn't flip out and start killing humans. Dog is in prison. Ask yourself, ask yourself if you had an animal which attacked you and you couldn't go in with the animal

anymore what would you do would you continue to fair and feed the animal for the rest of its natural lifespan if not don't get this animal so they're like this animal's gonna attack you this is a horrible idea i did this is a raise what do you say the animal won't attack you if you don't show any weakness now Now let's talk about containment. A four-foot fence or tie-out is out of the question. The fence should be eight-foot tall chain link with overhang and ground wire. Overhang! You have to build a prison compound.

There should be a double gate to make entering and leaving more secure. They need like an airlock double gate for the wolf What the fuck to depressurize? Listen you do a lot of things for things you love all right? You know these animals and this is in all caps are not good with children In all caps come on what is it don't listen to the haters will kill your baby Alright, so I think maybe the wolf is not so good. What if we get 2% delay?

It does now make sense that the only time I've ever seen someone with a pet wolf, it was on a private safari ranch. You get its venison fresh every day. If it wanted. That's what we did. I shot a rabbit and he threw at the rabbit. It ate the raw rabbit.

I'd rather have a Great Dane lab mix you know what if that gave you like a danish lab body with a big lazy happy personality a giant poor thing with colic and hip dysplasia and my fucked up eyes and like arthritis at three and I feel like you ever see the wheel behind him every time you mention one of these like crazy mixes like at first i'm kind of tempted but then i picture jeff goldblum stumbling out of that fucking machine mutated and slimy and shit i hear where you're coming from but in my head like just mixing two different lines does a lot for genetic diversity compared to like, I don't want to say a purebred, you know, and people, like, often people tell me I need to rescue a dog. Thank you, shut the fuck up.

Jack was a rescue, the last dog that we got. Buddy's a rescue, the one we have now. A lot of our dogs have been rescues, although not all. The labs weren't. They were from some Pennsylvania. Probably, like we were young, but I don't think they were reputable breeders. So, whatever. Stands being put into use at that place. The guy talked about the dogs like they were livestock, which was interesting. He's got, I don't know, I'll make up like 25 gallons of dog food. And he runs his hand.

He's like, yeah, this is the feed I give them here. And I'm like, feed? Yeah. And they were outside in a shed, but the shed had hay along the ground. And the dogs were all cuddled up with the mom. And this is Pennsylvania in December. And it was cold, but kind of warmish right where the dogs were all like cuddled up with the mom and this is pennsylvania in december and it was cold but like kind of warmish you know right where the dogs were because they were all snuggled up and stuff and uh it just seemed like he's making a few bucks by breeding and selling labs and uh i don't know we bought two they pretty good, actually. They lived to be like 13 or something.

It's been a long time since I've had a good dog. I've had my girlfriend's dogs and stuff like that, and they're usually traitorous. They almost always are shitheads. I wish I had my own dog. I wish mine hadn't turned on me.

I've just got Muppet, and I guess I could bribe Muppet. Maybe there's a common denominator here. Maybe. Yeah, all these dogs seem to have contact with you. No, there's lots of dogs that like me. Like, all of my... The dogs I grew up with like me, and my parents' dogs

still like me when I, like, show up and they see me and stuff. It's just... And, like, Kitty's dog likes me. My girlfriend's dog likes me. Um, Kyle's a dog lover and not in the bestiality way. Like Kyle's really nice to dogs. Oh, I got a little story about that. So Kitty's mom, Kitty's mom was on this online dating site. And, uh, so, so, um, I, I, one of the things that Kitty's mom,'s mom has done and I think still does is like dog training or something like that. And I think she's also bred dogs. And her screen name on this dating website is like Dog Lover 101 or something like that. And so she'd been talking to this guy back and forth for some time now.

And they were getting to the point where they were even considering maybe having a date where they would meet each other in person for the first time and he starts talking to her about dogs and sex with dogs and sent her a video and she's just like you wouldn't believe it he sent me

the most horrible video it was terrible terrible she was shocked that he would see her Anyone on this show would believe it. We've watched Motherless and E-Fucked. Yeah, as soon as she told me that her screen name was Doglub, I was like, ah, she was kind of asking for it. Welcome to the internet, grandma. How does it escalate that quickly?

Because you would think that he would bring it up slowly. Get to the date first, maybe? So what's your favorite kind of dog? Or maybe, yeah, get to the date first. Instead of being like, I like to fuck animals, and then just a video right away afterward. Have a seat over here. Go to din-din. That's only one of the positions we did that night.

I wonder if Chris Hansen takes a more nuanced stance on bestiality right like everyone knows my stance but in fast forward i think it's okay provided that the animal could defend itself right like if kyle told me that he fucked grizzly bears i'd be like oh well obviously that's consensual right i mean grizzly bears wouldn't do it unless they were down they love me yeah man so so he's all for it but if kyle fucked chickens which you can do because think about the width of an egg, I'd be like, ah, I'm not sure those chickens really like that. That might be wrong. I wonder if Chris Hansen, like how he feels on bestiality.

I think he's probably against it. He's going to go out on a limb. I'm not against it. I wonder if I explained to him my like grizzly bear panda like thing if I could turn him. Right? Change his mind. That would be right next to all of us have seen child porn. I think that'd be right there.

He'd be like, I've never seen. I could join you while Chris Hansen was there. I could be like, yeah, I've seen it. You know, it's on the internet. You know, when you've got like the internet's child porn, like detectives on the line with us. I'm going us stumble into those videos over hear that from you maybe we should take another look at our relationship it's just so sometimes you finish reddit and i'm like well let's go see if 4chan has anything

because the one thing about 4chan's content is it's always current right you can't finish 4chan there's new stuff coming quicker than you can absorb it a lot more oc and a lot more oc yeah yeah so um so i'll like go over to 4chan and then you can't not see someone who seems under 18 you know it's it's all over 4chan it's well you know if you visit enough it'll happen it's probably i've seen it maybe like two or three times it's usually late at night too if you're enough, it'll happen. I've seen it maybe like two or three times. It's usually late at night, too, if you're on there then. It seems like the mods are asleep, and people like to do that. And I think the reason that it's normally done is for shock value, especially if it's on B or something like that.

Most of the awful things that people talk about there, it's for shock value to keep you away because you don't belong there to begin with. There's an interesting – I hope I have enough fortune cred to I know boogie is like a fortune old fag like you know that he's been doing it since before all those other four channels are there but anyway the philosophy is 4chan is like because we're anonymous we can be completely honest you know the thing about there's no girls on the internet came from 4chan have you guys heard this before yeah i've heard that saying yeah i didn't know that it came

from there do you know that like what it means there's no girls on the internet like you're familiar with this the idea is that um girls walk around with this isn't coming from me so back off this is all coming from everybody we discussed it before the. So girls have a girl advantage all day long, right? You can tell a joke that's not funny and guys will laugh at it because they want to fuck you, right? That's the girl advantage. And they live their entire life thinking that the girl advantage isn't there, but it really is. And everyone who interacts with them is at least a little bit, you know, being a little extra nice because they want to fuck them. But on the internet, that's not a possibility.

So you have to exist completely based on your own, you know, charm and merits and merit. Yeah, merit is perfect. That's why there are no girls on the internet. And the only way to gain back your girl advantage is tits or get the fuck out, right? And once you do that, then you can be a girl again. People have, you know, find some value in what you have to say beyond just what's in the middle of your brain. That's why there are no girls on the internet or tits or get the fuck out. And I was like, ah, what an interesting concept.

I don't know. I'm not saying I line up with it, but I was like, ah. Hey, there's a snake on the balcony. I'm going to go capture it. What? Bring it in. That's awesome. We've gone from mouse to the predator.

I know, right? We got a mongoose at Taylor's house waiting for us. Yeah, hey, fuck you guys, there's a spider monkey outside. I'll be right back. Come on, Taylor, get a mongoose up in there. I hope he catches this snake. How long does it take to catch this? I bet it's a garden snake. Can't take him. I bet it's this long. Is it garden or garter?

Oh, there's no way he's going out there to fend off a boa. What is that kind of snake? Is it... I think it's a garden. Well, I don't know. It might be gardener, but they're in gardens, and that's how the name was given to it. G-A-R-T-E-R. Garter.

You're right, like a garter. Garter snake, but they're in the garden. So it's a common misnomer i believe the wikipedia or whatever google i think it's getting for wikipedia thing says garter snake also called gardener snake is a common name given to this thing is that the one that's kind of colorful and has the stripes where it's like everyone i've seen looks kind of plain but this one in one in Wikipedia is like a coral snake that they've got here yeah what the fun and

black spotted snake like that oh this is a alright so I'm gonna go to the big screen so people can see what I'm isn't there like a rhyme to figure it out like yellow and red they're fucking dead red and yellow pretty cool fellow hello yeah but nobody knows the fucking rhymes it isn't help yeah that's an easy way

to fuck up your life. Just make a mistake with that rhyme. You can just stay the fuck away from snakes. That garter snake is a coast garter snake. They're only in California and they're poisonous. Oh, and only the rattlesnake is poisonous. Dude, it

literally says, I hope it's true. Like, I need some freaking expertise on this. I'm not looking up for... So much vagueness. Ooh, long... Oh, long nose. I thought it was a long goose. If you search garter snake, there are a lot of different snakes.

Like, the... What the hell? This isn't helpful at all. Every picture they've shown isn't what I've seen. Like, I wouldn't fuck with any of these. Some of these have fangs. Yeah, no, I... Just as a rule of thumb, stay away from reptiles. Common garter snake is the one that is going to fucking kill you. I'm going to look up.

I just stay away from snakes. It's a good rule to live by. Even in this, it seems like there's a wide variety of snakes jeez would you ever want a snake as a pet no just to have one in a cage there's much like that like when you go to kill a spider and you didn't get the confirmation kill and you're like you know it's a bit i think from louis c cabello's like ah no it's john caparulo now i got this fucking half-dead punk-ass spider i'm'm going to go into a hotel because he's going to come back and get revenge.

If you don't pay attention to the snake and it gets out, now there's a snake somewhere in your house. I just don't find them to be interesting. They're more boring than fish. They're more boring than fish. They typically just lay there and do nothing almost all the time. They don't give you any affection.

At best, he kind of knows you and is slightly less there and do nothing almost all the time and they don't give you any affection or like at best he kind of knows you and is slightly less aggressive toward you and that's at best but it's worse than a wolf because you can't even communicate with it like hey don't bite don't bite like this is a fucking reptile snake that doesn't even have ears like have you seen those shows where it's like a guy he's like oh yeah i had my 28 foot boa for 16 years and old susan had never been a problem until one day like any other it's like yeah it's because it's a reptile and you deserved it that was the day he ate our baby yeah a monster in the house and then you were surprised when it attacked a monster asphyxiated my girlfriend for some odd reason

we had such a great relationship with the snake. Yeah. And by the way, like a lot of snakes get bigger than you want them to. I don't – obviously boas do. I think that's the big one. A lot of people keep boas. And it's like, yeah, yeah, I got this boa. It was really cool. And then it was like really cool and I was kind of hardcore because I kept it when it was six feet long.

But now it's 16 feet long and it's a serious issue. Now you've got a problem. Like, well well I can't flush it down the toilet wow this is a weekend job now to get rid of this fucking monster You know I could incinerate it You mean just put it in a pile of wood and burn it would be a fucking on fire snake running through that would be Funny, I'd watch that video. Yeah, Terry the life of woody. This is my 16 foot boa disposal service industrial microwave The boa people to have it wrapped around them all the time like this is my pet fluffy snake is so nice It's like that thing could just say fuck it. I'm bored here and just kill you like it

It doesn't even have the cognition to say fuck it. I'm bored here and just kill you. It doesn't even have the cognition to say, fuck it, I'm bored. The only thing in that thing's head at any time is, I am a snake. I am a snake. This is what snakes, this is what I do. I do this because I should. Wait, did you hear him? Yeah. He definitely said, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

Yeah, yeah, I heard him hooting and hollering. I think he caught the snake. I hope he dropped it in the house, and now there's a dog-snake problem. That would be so great. I would love that. We gotta get Dak now. I would, yeah, right?

Like Muppet and Puppet or whatever their fucking pussy dog's names are. They're all like cowering, like hiding under the couch. Like, that'll help. Hiding on top of the couch. And then they're all like cowering like hiding under the couch like that'll help hiding on top of the couch and then they're like release the deck like sniffing sniffing the snakes behind the you you fuck you i don't know what you are but i don't like it it was funny like um me and carl were playing

civilly the other day and kitty messaged me on skype she's like you're talking to kyle like yeah he's like just let him know dac is out and free roaming the upstairs of the house right now so if he needs anything let me know and i tell kyle really the message to kyle and he's like well i guess i kind of have everything right here with me now anyway i don't need to go upstairs i'm fine fine. And then, like, he left or something. I was like, oh, the dog! Forgot about the dog. And I just hear all this barking in the fucking background going on as he goes upstairs.

Cheese, can you center on your camera for a second? Someone doing this. I want to see a straw poll on who wore it better. All right. That's all we needed. Who wore it better? I don't know. They're both so bad in our way.

I like your hat. It's just like a... I mean, it's like the kid from Indiana Jones, but it's kind of like a military-type cap. It's got a long bill on it. It's a high-quality hat. Did you have that laying around, or did you buy that? No, we discovered it during the move.

I don't know where it came from. It might have been Jackie's. Jackie's like, you could wear this on the show. I was like, I like your idea, baby. Is it a military hat? It looks like a military hat but not like the kind that a real military man would. This is the guy who delivers

the supplies to the real men. The latrine man. Yeah, the latrine man. Corporal shit bucket. Hey, the army needs corporal shit buckets too. I don't not know the genesis. I could ask Jackie where this hat came from. My guess is that

she thought it was cute when she was like 18. I'll ask her. I'll be right back. You guys maybe sing a duet. Won't be long. Hat talk. Bum bum bum. Bum bum bum. Not sure how I care about this willy nilly leave the Won't be long. Hat talk. Bum, bum, bum. See this reason. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Not sure how I care about this willy-nilly, leave the show, not even to catch a wild animal.

Yeah, right? There's certain rules that need to be in place. Mouse, eh, we'll let you get the mouse if you pet it. It's not really a threatening animal. Oh, that was rather quick. A snake, though. Snake, always go get a snake. I'll text her. You, that was rather quick. Mm. Oh, thank you. I didn't think I was gonna snake. I'll tell you Your texture. Okay. Yeah next time you leave go get a ferret or something, you know

Find another animal squirrel. Would you ever want like another eccentric animal like not like a snake but like a lizard or a spider? Oh It's back With a gun what in God's name? Look at his face. Did you drop it in your house? All right, there's a gun and he's a little freaked out. We heard hoo-hoo-hoo in the background. What's the update?

So it was on my balcony. Kyle's telling a story. Do you want to sit in for the story? No. He caught a snake or something. He's nodding his head. You're going to want to hear this story. He battled with a snake. I not on his head you're gonna want to hear this story he battled with the same laundry I battled with God we got it for Colin it

looked good on him okay so there was a snake on the balcony, and so I went out there and I grabbed it, and it turned around and tried to bite me, and I dropped it, and it fell off the balcony into the backyard. So I ran downstairs, and the only light, I wasn't going to shoot it, but the only light I've got is attached to my Chris Vector.

I had that same problem. Carry on. So I grabbed my gun and went outside looking for it. And the door I went out is right underneath the balcony that he had fallen from. So I look all on the ground for this thing. I do a full perimeter

search. Could he have crawled way over here? Over there? And I just couldn't find him. So I went back inside. And when I went to close the door, the door wouldn't shut. He was in the crack of the door coming in the house. Oh Yes, oh, that's so awesome. I Thought you came back empty-handed. I took him prisoner. Is he alive? Yeah, he's alive. Oh My god, well done Kyle's got right there people PK mascot. Can I get a hole in there? Yeah! Oh my god! Well done Kyle! P.K.A. mascot right there people! P.K.A. mascot!

Now get a spider and fight! Yeah! I'm gonna get him a little hole here and make sure he can breathe though I don't know how much air a snake really uses right? Did he just try to bite my hand? Of course, anytime you want a snake to do something interesting, it doesn't give a shit. Fuck you, I'm not giving you the satisfaction is what he's thinking. Yeah, what kind of snake is that, do you think? Um, I don't know.

It's some sort of a rat snake. It's a little... I don't know what they actually call them. You think it's a King of Malcolm. I expected it to be a garter snake, and I expected it to be like one-eighth that size. Yeah, I did not think you were coming back with one like that. It's like four feet long. Kyle, you did such a great job.

I couldn't come back empty-handed. If you were closer, I would give you my mouse. I hope that stays there and then falls off mid-show and the lid just pops off. I'll shoot him there. I'll put him down over here then maybe. How did you get it out of the door there just reach in and grab oh when I took it it like squished him a little he dropped

down and so then I ran up and kitty threw this down for me so I just grabbed him with this I tried to like crocodile hunter him a couple times and he really keeps rearing back and trying to bite at which I don't get bitten at what point did you say whoa try-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! He tried to bite me.

Was that the first try to bite? Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Did you see that? It launched at you. Kyle was moving his finger along the outside of the clear plastic box, and it just snapped right out at him. That thing is not pleased. He's sticking his tongue out? Yeah, look at him. He's hissing He's hissing. He ain't happy He's going up to the kill shot. He's rattling his tail too like a rattlesnake. Dude! PKA is in a golden age right now

Right now we haven't had a bad show in like two months, but look at this shit. Oh Get his attention he sees oh oh he's going in oh he is so poised to strike he's gonna do it do it piece of shit reptile oh typical snake right this is more interesting than anything i've seen a snake do click the box with your fingernail two fingers maybe he likes two fingers. Yeah, I like stream Whoa, this is the coolest. I've never seen a snake do a thing Wow This is amazing. Oh, it's so strong. I'm gonna get Colin hold on is it banging up against the side pretty hard I can't hear it very well.

It totally is. He followed my finger back to this side. All the way to the back of the side. He's not happy. He's got a lock on you. Look at this. How are you gonna open that box? I've got a big aquarium in the back, dude. Like a terrarium. Like a bug fight terrarium. Kitty's terrified of these things and I'm sweating a little bit right now.

Dude, that thing wants flesh. We need to figure out what kind of snake that is. After I show Colin I'm going to put him away because I kind of feel bad for him. So I'm going to put him somewhere dark and let him chill out for a little while. I wouldn't feel that bad for him because he's... I'm not going to kill him. I'm I'm almost certainly release him into the wild again Can you make it do it again? Oh Watch watch this. I'm trying not to

Watch the snake he's gonna bite See How cool is that I heard it hit the glass. Yeah I can hear it now. That thing's gonna concuss itself. Break a tooth, come on. Yeah you want some of those fingers. How cool- alright. Bye Colin. Yeah. I'm gonna put Sammy the snake away somewhere now

where it's like dark and he probably doesn't like these lights and me fucking with him. I'm not sure if I'm gonna keep him as a pet or if I'm gonna release him into the wild, but it's one or the other. Kitty texted me. Remind Kyle I can't drive, so if he gets bitten by this snake, he is walking to the ER. Man, that is really neat. I did not expect him. I expected him to come back with something like a pencil-sized, really thin. A tiny, green, piss-ass snake. Yeah, a little bitch snake.

That's an angry snake that wants to fucking kill. I think it's just a rat snake. Yeah, but... No, not just a rat snake. That thing was like a cat snake. That was a... Wow, that's cooler. No, not just a rat snake. That thing was like a cat snake. Wow, that's cooler. Sometimes you make jokes and sometimes you say things without thinking.

Like a cat snake. I'm not saying it's a bad joke. I'm just saying it's not even a joke. It's bigger. That's the next level like some snakes eat rats and some snakes eat cats I think those are just called snakes though that can take down like the venomous ones that can I would love that If it had bitten me that that would have been so hardcore. What if I came in and I was handling it and it was just locked on?

I was going to come in with him like this, but that seems... No, you did good. He turns on his full body length in bites. I grabbed him by the tail earlier and picked him up and he turned into a U and struck at me. That's when I dropped him off the balcony. I do have a you and struck at me and that's what I dropped off the back

I do have a snake leash I could use that yeah what is no what the hell Kyle doesn't doesn't have in the wonders that he called a face yeah um that was fun I know what a snake leash would be like it would be like a long pole with a little collar that you could cinch up and squeeze tighter on. Yeah. You definitely want like a fishing rod type situation. You wouldn't want him to be able to come back at you.

Do you remember when we first got this house, I was like, I have a farm cat. It's the coolest thing, whatever. Something got it? No. I don't even know how many farm cats I have now. Like we were walking. Jackie saw one. We see different ones. She's like, was it orange? I'm like, no, it was black and have now. Like we were walking, Jackie saw one. We see different ones.

She's like, was it orange? I'm like, no, it was black and white. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause there's the orange one. There's the black and white. I don't even, we have like four farm cats and I'm just saying they're exclusively mine. I think they visit the neighbors too and such.

But I think it's pretty awesome that there's cats like just walking around, around here. It's nice. It's nice when you've got like um a food chain that you can see uh yeah it's cool to to like see that go down at every little level it's it's a little bit of wild safari in your backyard that motherfucker there's there's no telling how many mice and frogs and stuff like that he's he's taken out all right so I don't know what kind of snake that is I want to say rat snake because that's just what I think my dad would call him but he was shaking his tail and it was rattling what's that

about like he was definitely making like a rattling noise at one point and and he was striking the constrictors because Ilesnake, though. The constrictors, because I think that the... I don't know if he would be striking like that if he wasn't. On the food chain thing? So, and I got this off the internet, so it must be a good idea. But when there's birds and shit, like, sitting on my house and I don't want them to be there, I don't yell scoot or skedaddle or like hey get off of my house I yell this as best I can

Let's hear that More like a monkey. Your neighbors must be terrified. They'll be like a bird on my roof, and I'm like, he's up to no good on there. They just see a 40-year-old man in a Superman t-shirt screaming at nothing. They don't see the bird. And the sky. And the sky.

Mom, the neighbor's screaming at birds again. Come inside. Come inside. Don't play anymore outside. Yeah, I try and imitate this red-hailed because we have these red-tailed hawks all over the place. And I figured this is the way. That's the thing that's going to put the light that's going to put fear

into all the sparrows and cardinals and stuff that are bugging me I think that snake peed on me my hand smell bad now lick it absolutely I do it come on would like to mouse yeah that's awful a lot of a lot of animals a lot of critters on the show tonight hey mouse snake we got to get a mongoose at Taylor's house I don't think I please plain like how I found the lot of critters on the show tonight. Hey, mouse, snake, we got to get them on Goose and Taylor's house. I don't think I fully explained how I found the snake. So I went out the door, and as soon as you walk out that door, there's just like a cement pad there. It's the backyard, and straight up above you is the balcony.

And I never go out that door. There's even a square bale of hay sitting there, and it's like I don't even use that door. So I go out it, and then I search a square bale of hay sitting there and it's like I don't even use that door. So I go out it and then I search the backyard and come in empty handed and when I try to shut the door he's inside the crack of the door and the door squishes him a little

and won't shut and then he falls out. He had made his way into the fucking house while I was outside looking for him. If I hadn't caught him this could have been a real and I thought about it it I had the door open behind and I was just like no way he's gonna double back and go in my house is there and I just thought nah no fucking way but if he'd been in here and like

half like this show you just see him like I blew him grab one of- It's fucking- It's go time! It's taking him out! There's no way! That would be scary. God, I wonder if there's footage of you catching it. I wanna see how much of it was like that dippin' and dodging that those wildlife people have to do. I doubt that you grabbed it correctly. Not to say that you're inept, but that

not many people catch snakes regularly. I didn't know how- I've tried to catch snakes a lot and every time i want to do the the steve irwin crocodile hunter move and just you know pinch the back of his head have my thumb like on the base of his skull and kind of have him like this so he can't turn at all and just have him but inevitably i can never like just do it because i don't trust my own reflexes or like hand-eye coordination enough like what if i go a little to the left or a little to the right?

Then he's going to bite me. That's what's going to happen. It's a snake that I'm trying to fuck with. He's going to bite me if I mess this up. I always try to pin its head down and then grab it but then I'm afraid he's going to slip his head out. I got the box. I do the grab thing and it always works for me. The thing is I don't typically grab snakes as large as yours.

You've got some skin in the game when you're going after a snake that can really bite you. You know, I'm getting a little, they're like a little bigger than a number two pencil. Just grab it right behind the head. Yeah, that is much bigger than a number two pencil. A mean worm. A mean worm. They get big. They definitely get six feet.

Like, that kind of snake does. I think there was a six foot snake that size at my last house. I've told this story so quickly. We're putting together this big play set, and we see this snake. And it was just like the one that Kyle had, I think. I don't know my snakes. And I'm like, should I kill it? Like, what should I do?

And one of the guys with me, who I assumed knew more than me, was like, you know, if this was my house and my children playing out here, I'd kill that snake. So now suddenly I'm not a good dad unless I kill the snake. So I grab a shovel. Black kids aren't pussies. So I grab a shovel and I get out there and I kind of stalk it for a little bit. And then pow, right? Like a gladiator. I spear the thing, cut its head clean off in one in one good

shot and then now that we can get up close and see it the guys like oh yeah that's just an out no my snake so that's just a you know red-eyed mongoose snake and those are fine all like there's the soil when you're not here exactly they're like yeah he just keeps the mice away. You'd have been fine. Yeah, they used it back in the 60s to fight communism. That's an American snake if I've ever seen one. That's kind of how it went down.

It was like, you just committed murder to a very nice animal. He turns you into it, and then he passively berates you. Yes. That's totally what happened. Oh, only a real pussy would have killed this snake. I feel like more of a man after killing this snake.

Yeah, so I fucked up. I killed the wrong snake. Well, it was just a fucking snake. I mean, fuck snakes. I don't care. At the end of the day, it's a snake and they're all evil. So Chiz, I see you're all bandaged up over there. Yeah, masturbatory injury.

Was that something that happened on Woody Craft? I don't know. Stalking a little too hard. I love that. This is my left hand. It wouldn't be a masturbatory injury. No, no. Not ambidextrous. Come on now. I was just taking a kitchen knife, trying cut like a seal off of a bottle or

something and i was being stupid i should have been doing that and it just slipped when i put all my pressure on it and it just stabbed me really fucking hard between the uh between the thumb and the index finger in the soft spot and i can't put a bandage there because you know you move your hand it fucking it's gonna take the bandage off so i have to do this stupid mummy wrap around here how bad is the cut i don't know it's about fingernail uh length but it probably probably same width too it was pretty deep i don't know so what happened were you you cutting toward your other hand is that the mistake you made stabbing straight down straight down i was going down trying to get like a seal off a bottle like this and it was easier to go down and slash it so I did that and then when I got into the groove it slipped It just went down right on my hand. I was against every rule of cutting yeah, and stabbing

Like ah I'm fucking retarded and then when so Isn't okay do when you do stuff like that you immediately not react to the pain you're just angry at yourself for being such an adult yeah cuz I was dude I was moving a group and I was like cleaning the kitchen doing all kinds of shit and then I'm like great this fucking happened I'm a retard now my day has been slowed down by 20 minutes to clean this and fucking being into my goddamn wound okay let's try the video again please okay thank you kitty texted me. She says When I ask you to deal with snake I don't mean bring it in the house

Fuck get it out the house. I replied was his name is Sammy It makes it funnier knowing that she hates the fact that it's there It makes it funnier knowing that she hates the fact that it's there. It's the other room. I put the box in the other room, and then I put a very heavy box on top of it and turned the lights out. He tries to punch his way through. It's bad that you go back there later in that little hole you made, but the knife is as big around as a half dollar,

and he's nowhere to be seen. It'll be like my uncle did this once. There was a snake in my uncle's house and he shot it with a with a shotgun actually blew a big hole in the floor and uh and i don't remember who was asking maybe my dad he's like that's that's pretty stupid you know you're shooting indoors with the you know in your own house like they he's like oh i didn't give a shit if he if that snake had gotten away i'd have had to burn the motherfucker down like me and him can't cohabitate like it's it's him or me or and and in this case it's just been the house he's like it's not gonna gotten away, I'd have had to burn the motherfucker down. Like, me and him can't cohabitate.

Like, it's him or me. And in this case, it'd just been the house. He's like, this is not going to happen. Yeah. I have to move. Ah, snake got out. Not even trying to sell it, just cutting my losses. I was going to say something.

Snake house dead. Oh, oh, knife. So Kyle, was that the Kershaw leak used to poach the hole in the top? How do you like it? You've had it a while. I like it. I've had it a long while. It kind of stays in my paintball gear bag now because it's just perfect for little stuff like that.

It's really perfect for everything. It's small. And like yours, I got it orange because it's hard to lose, easy to find. I like that it's kind of an assisted open, so it flips open kind of cool. Yeah, I like the assisted open too. Mine's the Kershaw Chive that I've been rocking. This sounds like we're Kershaw sponsored, but we're really not. I have the opposite.

You should really go check out some CRKT or some Sognize. I have... What did Taylor do? We're about to do some torture. Taylor pulls up pliers. My blade is beat to hell because I abuse my knife. And that's kind of like by design now. I don't have a better knife so that I can mistreat it. I wouldn't want to do some of the stuff with the 400 knife that i do with this like tighten screws and i i mostly

everything i do with this you should hardly do with good knives screws boxes pry things um stuff like like just you know just chop away and you know anytime something needs to be cut in a hurry it's it's in my pocket i ordered a a Leatherman, it's like PS4 squirt or something like that. I don't know if the PS4 part is relevant. Is that a sex toy? Sounds like it. Well, the way I use it. Leatherman squirts, continue. I've discovered that it seems like I need to tighten screws as often as I need to cut things. And a lot of things I need to cut aren't even that sharp. They're like boxes or something. Like I could use car keys almost

to get a lot of my cutting done. So I'm gonna try a multi-tool and we'll see how it goes. I discovered if you order from the Leatherman site, you could have it engraved. I love it when my shit says Woody's Gamertag on it. So that's what I did. But they billed me twice. Like I'm looking at my pending transactions

and they double billed me. And I'm like, all right, well, it's just pending. I'll sort of wait and see how it works out or whatever. And now today it went from being double billed to they didn't bill me at all. I'm like, I don't know what's going on here. I have to keep an eye on this, but their billing seems to be a little bit screwed up if you buy a straight off the Leninman site. Cause you know,

I would rather just have a regular bill that wasn't messed up my dad um carries one I guess it's you know when it's folded up it's like that big I don't know like the size of a harmonica because we've all got one of those handy um and he swears by those things he's always carried one like several of them like in succession every time one gets destroyed um now leatherman has a lifetime warranty i'm not sure it's on the squirt i assume but i'm not sure yeah it does even if the blades just snapped off or something or um he's he's broken them in a lot of different ways he was trying he was like squeezing something really hard one time and the plier part actually broke and the blades are broken and apparently the tip of the pliers that break off you know with

craftsman tools you can totally return those like no matter what the circumstance like you could literally be using it to like connect two tractor trailers on a pull off and the tool breaks and they'll be like oh confirmed broken go pick a new one and and that's that like they don't have any like this looks like it was abused type stuff i'm told leatherman is in that same category of like provided your accident isn't losing it you'll get another yeah i like products like that um there's a few products like that zippo's kind of like that i think case knives might be like that as well those old-timey like pocket knives with like it's like deer bone handle and uh it's just two blades normally one pointy one. But I think they've got a similar return policy. I like that, though.

Because, you know, when you buy one of those things, you're always going to have one as long as you don't lose it. Yeah. I'm tightening up a screw. Like, I don't know. I was on the roof the other day. And the screw on a light fixture was loose. So I'm using my knife to tighten it. And I was like, you know, I should have a multi-tool because I feel like this is happening to me all the time.

So I'm going to try that for a little bit. And it shouldn't be any bigger or heavier. But the knife will be a downgrade. So we'll see what I feel. But yeah, knife talk. I don't know. Did we ever get to those AMA questions? Oh yeah, let's look at those.

They've got those Kershaws on Amazon. Yeah, that's where I get mine. And you can get this on Amazon. Now what do you have have I don't know it's some mtek extreme ultra or something it's $7 streams in the name let me show you my $10 knife this thing's cool I'm gonna go get it I think I got it for like three dollars on one of those Christmas deals or whatever but it's seven dollars but I told you what he it's seven dollar knife so I slice open Amazon boxes. Anything more difficult,

I'll go grab a real knife because I don't trust this thing hanging on my hands. Yeah, I mean, it locks into place and stuff, but I don't know. It's a $7 knife. Can you tell it's kind of shitty? Like a little bit, just the way it moves around or it's folded in?

I don't know. It doesn't look shitty. It's okay. It's not in. I don't know. It doesn't look shitty. It's okay. It's not that sharp. Does it wiggle? Is it loose-ish at all? No, there's no give in there at all. Sounds like a good knife.

Yeah. I would like a Kershaw that's smaller and I think the blade is sharp on it too. I need to sharpen mine. This is just really big is sharper on it too. I mean, I need to sharpen this one. I need to sharpen mine. This is just really big for what it is too. I mean, this is like, that's how big it is. Yeah, the weight and size is kind of an issue. Like, I wear shorts a lot and the pockets, the pockets are large,

but they can like wrap around under my butt and now I'm sitting on a knife and that kind of sucks. Mm-hmm. You don't need that in your day. No, no. So what's Kyle going for did he do remember? We say it is $10 $10 oh You're about to get one up

What do you get for three extra dollars you're gonna get three up Come back and be like you know what I think that you made the better decision Chiz It's gonna come back and be all about how his knife is better spring-loaded amazing knife yeah those amazon deals have a bunch of knives on sale uh over the holidays and stuff like that super cheap that's when he got his kershaw how much is a kershaw knife is that like a really nice name brand no well they might have nice knives but mine was 25 and i think kyle's might have been $35, which is cheap. If you talk about good knives, I think that starts at $250.

It goes to $400. But it almost seems like the people that rock knives that good only cut things, well, try not to ruin their knives, whereas they wouldn't want to tighten a Phillips head with it or something like that. And I like cheap ones so that I can abuse it without, you know, feeling bad. Yeah, that makes sense. I was in Cabela's getting ammunition and they have, you know, their giant knife section there.

Some of these pocket knives, just regular, just exactly what yours looks like, Woody, were going for like $70 to $100. Like what can that conceivably do that around another knife can't especially if you have to take special precautions to be like oh no i wouldn't want to use my knife for cutting this as if it's made for cutting like you want a functional tool what do you have kyle did you yeah yeah oh neat ah that's like a piece of shit it's the classic Aladdin-themed knife. Yeah, right?

The kind of knife that really kills people. JEPHAAAA! Is it wiggly? Like, tell me if there's any play in it. Yeah, do what I did and cut yourself while showing how much give is in there. Did you cut yourself? Yeah, I totally cut myself. No, do one of these deals.

Like, tell me if it's... Actually, this has a small amount of play. Well, if everyone of everyone smart doesn't grab the bottom of the blade like I did Know this is a real piece of junk here. It looks like it. Yeah, the locking mechanism I don't know if you can see is very poor and hard to use and You have to like pinch it and pull and it's a whole it's just junk I of you have to like pinch it and pull it's a whole it's just junk I got on Amazon for 10 bucks but I thought it was cool because it looked cool on the internet

but it was a piece of junk I am actually I don't mean to be an ass bad but I'm really good at sharpening chisels and planing blades like you know you plane to make the wood shavings and that makes me moderately good at sharpening knives but that thing you held, I couldn't sharpen that. That wavy blade thing.

What does it do? When you stab someone, it totally fucks them up. It's just meant to look silly. It's some sort of fantasy blade from Amazon that I just thought looked cool. You were talking about multi-tools. This is my paintball multi-tool. It's got a ton of stuff. It's been dyed, too. Yeah, so it's got... It's from Dye, too. Yeah, so it's got a little hook, like a

dental pick. Dental toothpicks right there. And a little sharp pointy thing, and there's a blade, and then some sort of a wrench. Hex wrench. Hex wrench type thing, and then there's, I don't know, that pokey thing, and that pronged one on the bottom works... There's a little... It fits perfectly

into a small part on the paintball gun that... And so it's there's a little it fits perfectly into a small part on the paintball gun that and so it's kind of a that's the only usual ever have for it I guess is what I'm getting at its made specially for that then there's a tiny screwdriver a very tiny a little hex thing and then all the allen keys that a die uses does it have a knife yes yeah and it's got it covered for technically disappointing works because who's drinking wine while they're playing paintball well only the best of the best sometimes it's nice when i'm sorry sometimes it's nice when they don't have a knife because you can travel with it easily ah now every time i play paintball

i'm checking luggage anyway i've got so much like they still might give a shit for that thing no swiss army or whatever they're called like victoria or something victoria knox I play paintball and check in luggage anyway. I've got so much pokey stuff. Swiss Army or whatever they're called, like Victoria or something, Victoria Knox. They make a traveler's one that doesn't have a knife on it, just as like a screwdriver or a Phillips head. They'll let you take all that other shit on the plane?

That seems silly to me. If you can hijack a plane with a, you know, hex screw. Tweezers. Back the fuck off off I got little tweezers I mean if you do it wrong with that you could have done it without it what if you brought the tools to take the bath

I mean like take the toilet out though you did something like that you're just in there fucking right and then you like sharpen up the plumbing Dennis the menace what are you that's not like that's the kind of all the security all the security that's in an airplane that if you remove the toilet, it's gonna be like... If all the

moves that I've seen ring true, then I would be able to go to a subterranean area where all the baggage is and walk around freely and, like, have a good time. Below zero cabin area. Hey, not the movies. I haven't seen that once. They always just go back there and have a good time. There's always a fight scene maybe or a shootout.

So, AMA questions? Yeah, let's see what you got. This is a Patreon thing. Chiz, do you happen to know what level of Patreon can ask AMA questions? $10. They get PKN video. They get PKN early. They get obviously everything the $5 guys get, which is early PKN video, they get PKN early, they get obviously everything the $5 guys get,

which is early PKA, which for this week is gonna be on a Wednesday, because we have to record early. So I mean, it's awesome. $10 gets a lot of perks. I remember we were, we kind of like calculated the, like the values, like we're like, we want, I think we loaded the $10,

hoping that we get lots of people at 10. So at $3 you get, it's kind of a thank you to the show and we appreciate that. And I think you learn what's in the show early, but not much else. At $5 you get the show early and at $10 you get PKN in video form early and you get the AMA questions. And we really tried to load up the 10 to make that the one you want what were you saying kyle um i was just gonna say you um i think for like the three dollar guys they get like um a few of the like the topics from the show ahead of time is that right yes i only recently like about two or three episodes realized that that's what you

were asking me for whenever you would say like like you know, could you help me out with some of the topics that we covered? I used to think that you were asking for help with titling your video. It was only until recently that I realized, no, it's for the fucking Patreon. I never understood. I really like it when you help too. Like I am more retarded than you might might know we'll finish a four hour show and i'm like i need to think of five things we just talked about in the last four hours and it's hard for me yeah because like i didn't i only then realized oh yeah that's a patreon reward that's what he's asking for chiz is getting those out to the guys right now like five minutes after we're done yeah like as soon as this show closes i I start rendering the MP3s. Faster than Crunchyroll.

Faster than Crunchyroll, actually, yeah. We get the show up on YouTube. I send the link to Chiz. I'm usually like, all right, this is the YouTube link. It'll be ready whenever it's done processing. This is, you know, the MP3's uploading right now. And then Chiz takes the MP3 I upload and turns that into a whole like iTunes pod bean crazy thing.

And then we get the message out. Chiz gets the messages out to the $3 upload and turns that into a whole like iTunes pod being crazy thing and then we get the message out just gets the messages out to the $3 level and whatever but um anyway AMA questions so I have the woody craft one I guess we'll do the way crap one since I've been reading it and thinking about it this question is for woody or choose recording ready craft woody craft net hey guys right now I'm school getting my computer information systems associate degree and then transferring to a different school for an MIS bachelor's degree. I got one of those. And I hear Woody talk about sysadmin work on his server, so I'm interested in what their

work was like for them and what they do on a daily basis as I'm becoming one after I finish school. Huh. So do you want to talk? Trying to sum up because it's kind of like you're always working but like the things i'm skilled in are like you know i know enough my sequel to do pretty much all of the basic stuff nothing crazy like importing tables and stuff like what he does or migrating databases and shit like that you know basic mysql basic just linux and bash scripting and stuff like that some java here and there and yeah i i really don't know what else to add i know a lot i know a

little about a lot so before woodycraft started chiz was not a unix or a linux guy so he's learned on the job and um and now, and now, like you said, he can handle some of the basic, my SQL stuff, some of the basic sysadmin stuff, et cetera. I tend to do the harder or more dangerous stuff, right? Like, like, you know, if you do the firewall wrong, it'll just shut everyone off. You can't log back into it. And like, that'll fuck it. So that tends to be me. And, um, uh, you know, like, like he said, like new databases, migrating tables, et cetera. But we each have skills, too. NFS guy right here, my friend.

He is. Yeah, yeah. I remember that. Like early on, I used to sort of take it upon myself to be like, all right, learning opportunity. Chiz is going to do this, et cetera. And NFS is one of them. I was like, all right, I want you to investigate how to do this thing. And he just, you know, took it on and learned it, et cetera.

to do this thing and uh and he just you know took it on and learned it etc um so i'm kind of the lead sysadmin at woody craft and um and then i'm like junior guy in a bunch of other aspects like minecraft admin itself in terms of like making regions and setting flags and and that stuff chis is kind of the lead in that like he might be the strongest we have at like all the minecrafty sysadmin that's specific to that and then we've got another guy named ice who right now is our lead coder and um and and he's the top guy on that and every so often he bounces code ideas or something off of me but um but he's typically the lead and uh um and that's that's how that divvies up we We also have another guy named Fuzzy who's kind of in charge of like player behavior

and all the, like the unpaid staff, like the helpers and the mods. And then Heather, you guys might remember, she used to help out with this show. She does most of the billing stuff and a lot of the billing related customer support. So she does, yeah, she's helpful in that. She's great.

So that's what we do on a typical day, like I'm trying to think, today I asked Chiz to like, I guess, migrate and remove a bunch of Halo servers. So he did that. And then there's a whole bunch involved in the ways that we like track all these servers and their performance and what's going on. So he handled all the odds and ends that have to do with freeing up server space for a new game mode that we're working on. And then I did the firewall stuff. We have one IP address in particular that's been causing us issues or something. So I firewalled him off.

And then Ice is working on a bug and upgrades for our factions reset, which we start weeks and months in advance. And the whole team just kind of chews away. So I don't know. I think it's maybe a little drawn out. bug and upgrades for our factions reset which we start weeks and months in advance and uh you know the whole team just kind of chews away so i don't know i think it's maybe a little drawn out but uh i don't know what we do on a daily basis it's hard like you know i think we both do the same thing we wake up check skype see if there's something someone's like asked us to do or address an issue or like talk about something and then we each have like individual things like what do you go find a project or go think of a cool idea or i've got my projects i work on or i'll flesh out an idea for a new

game mode and pick it around and see if anyone thinks that or work on the game that we're developing it's it totally is different every day you know which it's not like here's my nine to five job that i do with you know i have to do these things every day nine to five right and we need like this many production units from him. No, sometimes he's swamped. And sometimes, you know, I bet there are days where Chiz works five minutes and then days where Chiz works 15 hours. And, you know, it also depends on what you define as working to like actual sysadmin work. Maybe that, you know, it's five minutes to five hours. But, you know, like I might be plotting out a whole new game mode and different things are a way to monetize this game. Like

that's not just admin work. That's like marketing and like gameplay development type stuff that's going on behind the scenes and whatnot. So it's always different. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, but anyway, I, I like it. I like the very, like people say, you know, I like my job cause it's something different every day. It's not wildly different every day. Don't like people say, you know, I like my job because it's something different every day. It's not wildly different every day. Don't let me lie to you. But I also do like that it's not an assembly line either. Yes.

Same thing. Kitty's getting pretty upset. Tell me more. About the snake. She's still texting you about the snake? I said, so I said, Sammy, she said, Sammy wants to be in the woods away from the house. I said, Sammy likes it here.

He wants to stay in the terrarium. She says, get that fucking thing out of here. The playful banter went away real quick. So I said, no need for that kind of language. Sammy is a friend to all. So no worries there period so she don't know that she knew what to take from that she's just gonna she said Kyle I will cut you and then I said Sammy wouldn't like that like he's your

deranged other personality yeah everyone like that Katie we should start spelling Sammy with four s's like a text coming in and like an hour later like kitty with a bloody snake on the ground like I'm tired of Sam I'm gonna send her a snake emoticon is there what do with that snake to really freak her out I could just go just put it in her room. I could take something of hers and put it in the box and then take a picture of Sammy in the box. Do it. Do that. Please do that.

Do something like, oh no, she doesn't drive. Please. Oh. She clearly has that. Take one of the napalm candles or something. It wouldn't be a big deal. I don't think you i'm uh explaining the uh the seriousness is that a snake i totally understand the seriousness doesn't mean i don't see it i don't know it's got horns what kind of

snake is that i have a question you respond with hiss i have this sammy says Hiss. I have this. Don't even acknowledge it. Sammy says it. Yeah. Fucking snake was scared. When it bit at my hand, it really scared the fuck out of me the first time. We heard you hooting at home. Hey, Taylor. Your busy schedule working as a stripper has prevented you from joining the guys on their trips.

Have you considered inviting them to Idaho so that you could participate in a PKA adventure? Is there anything adventurous to do in Boise? Potato rides. Potato fights. You gotta have some potato raps. Beating each other with

as hard as you can. Potato dodgeball. The Irish Olympics. The Irish dec. The Irish decathlon. I'd love to have a french fry extravaganza in Idaho. Oh, top notch.

Top notch french fries. They're the same everywhere. You can't mess them up. But yeah, there's a lot of outdoorsy shit to do. A ton of outdoorsy shit. I think I might have mentioned this in a previous podcast, but my my dad and i he came out here and we went fly fishing for the first time i'd never done that before and that is that is difficult like you see those people on the the fishing channel or whatever when you go to your grandparents house and you're like how the fuck

is someone watching this and like it's just that old man, like, like, holding that string. Like, there's so much, yeah, there's so much balance you need. Not like you're gonna fall over in the water unless you're a jackass, but, like, knowing how to, like, keep pulling the string and keep it tight. And I caught a few fish, but for the most part, that was, like,

a real sport. Wait, you caught... Adventurous things in Boise, right? Not, uh... Fly fishing. Fly fishing. Fly fishing is adventurous. The sports of the grandpa! Wait, you can't say adventurous things in Boise right not a fly fishing fly fishing fly fishing is it what's of the grandpa Sign me up Do they have rocker chip rockers sharing What? Just flick your wrist! That's all you have to do with the fly fishing! Flick your wrist, son! Do they have rocker chair- rocker chairing? Rocker chair races!

I'm ahead of you! You can see that it's such a activity, not sport, but for old misanthropic men, because as you're driving to leave, like, it's a a beautiful big river but there's a ton of people doing it so it's like every 300 yards there's another alone old man standing in the river like you can just see them like specks like white rocks all down the river you can see i don't know why i do this i just keep doing it every day i'm jewish and i don't know why why am i doing this voice for a fly fisherman? There's no money in it. Exactly. A misanthrope is a person who dislikes humankind or avoids human society.

I had to look it up. I imagine I'm not alone. So there you are. Oh, yeah. Someone who doesn't want to be around other people. And so that's just an outlet as an excuse to be alone. Like if they could, they just go sit on a solo park bench and not talk to anyone caught themselves yeah it was fun i caught a couple fish i was really really pissed when the

guide who took us out there like i caught him and like i was like all right i'm gonna get to eat some fish i can't wait to take these home saute them maybe i'll fry one up like i was excited i liked catching fish at my grandparents pond on their farm and just like frying up some catfish or some bluegill or something That's really good. And the guy was like, all right. All right. Well, you know take a picture with it and all right Let's let it go He's like, yeah, yeah, it's catch and release you can't keep them like so we just terrorize this thing I'm pulling on it. It's in the water like, it's over! It's over!

I'm not making it out this time. And then I pull it up, snap a picture as it's like gasping for water, and then just drop it back in. And it has to go tell its fish friends how it was hassled and brutalized by this great ape wearing weird pants in the river. And then the sword goes over and they throw you back. He's like, you know what the worst part was oh They didn't even want it. Sorry

They pulled me up God. Yeah, he said no So I've got it So yeah, it's you know I got this pool table right and we took the took the ping pong table off the top of it, and I've been shooting pool lately. I usually just find enough time to knock in like 45 or 60 balls a day and sort of practicing. And I'm sitting here like, you know, thinking about all the things I know about pool, like how to line it up, how to do the shots, how the banking works, and just like the very basics.

I'm not a great pool player. But I realized everything I know about pool is from that pedo who tried to get me to go back to his apartment and see the stereo system. Like I'm just reliving my- I was hoping you were going to say carpentry. Reliving my 12-year-old days of a pedo trying to seduce me, thinking about like, oh yeah, this is how he taught me to

line this up and this is how he like i learned to play pool from a sexual predator now did he do the thing like you do with your girlfriend where he kind of got behind it's like now this is how you do it right here like how did he show you a little bit like there was some talking there was some of that and they're like you know he just like he was good man like he uh i enjoyed it was he's outstanding the best he um like it wasn't like he was hanging on me all the time and really set my alarm off he was just like like you know for example when you play pool by my elbows in the shot you want to swing from your elbow right if your whole arm is going like this, then you're gonna have a really wobbly pull cue. So you want to just go all elbow

and make the thing shoot in a nice, when you do that, I usually line it up like two or three times before I actually hit the ball and follow through. It should be a perfectly straight line. And I learned that from a pedo who was hot for me. So remember that Louis C.K. bit that recently was on SNL and how that controversy. And he tells the story about the friend who would get in the pedophiles van and go to McDonald's with him.

And then the kid would fuck off and not get fucked. He would just take the free McDonald's. You're similar in this situation. You just took free pool lessons with the pedophile. So it was in an arcade and I forget if it was 50 cents or a dollar or whatever it was, but he would just keep like paying for the, the pool table. And, and I would just keep like sucking in the pool lessons. And then, uh, and, and yeah, he really was like, when he told me that he had a bad-ass stereo system, maybe I gave a hint away or something, because I want to say I saved up all summer like I had a job or maybe that was later but I was really into stereos like that was my thing you know it back in the 80s people had this there's the speakers were like ribcage high you know and what did you call them

hi-fi systems sure yeah that works and and you know it would even have a record player but you know it would have an equalizer. And Tom Cruise, in Risky Business, he turned the whole equalizer. I wanted to do that. I wanted to be like, da-da-da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da. Back in the old

days of rock and roll. That kind of music just good for yourself. Yeah, you stopped it right there. Did that pause between us, or was it for you to continue on? yeah yeah that was like that was the thing that i really desired and when he was like yeah i got this like i got a system in my apartment like you've never seen before i was like ah i know like i know i shouldn't but i really wanted to see it. It was a close call for me. But anyway I've been playing pool.

Still is. I think back to it a lot. Now just lately I'm just practicing pool all the time thinking yeah I learned from a pedo. I guess it's better to learn to play pool from a pedo than to play in a pool with a pedo. So you made out.

Let's do another question from AMA. What about the basal metabolic rate? Oh, I had that one highlighted. Yeah, I want to do that one. So this individual poses the question, if you could have any basal metabolic rate you wanted example instead of 2 000 to maintain your body weight it could be 4 000 or 6 000 or 10 000 or 500 what would you like yours to be you're stuck with that number for the rest of your life thank you for the

great content listening since pka 45 so what do you guys think because i can see how you can make an impulse decision to say like, oh, 5,000. I'll just gorge myself and do whatever I want and eat shit and whatever and be fine. But if something ever did go down where your plane went down and you had to survive in the wild for like even just three weeks, if you need three times as many calories – or it doesn't have to be a plane going down, Kyle. I see your eyes. I was going to say that. Okay, well, give me the other scenario then where i

we're like i need calories but can't get them in america let me let me i'll take that world goes to shit yeah what do you take it because i don't have an answer to shit so we've gone from the plane crashing to apocalypse all right yeah neither of those strike me but you might find that eating a michael phelps breakfast on a daily basis kind of sucks after a while that like it's very time consuming and then the other thing is it's expensive you know like there may be a time where you're like god damn every one of my meals is like 25 like this is this is racking up a price tag i wish i didn't need 8 000 calories a day to maintain me you're all wrong first of all all you can eat second of

all i wouldn't make anything crazy because i wouldn't want it to be upkeep. I would just want it to be an easier life. I feel like, I don't know. 3,500 is a good number. I think 4,000 because if you drink sugary soda and have a candy bar a day, then all of a sudden you're right there. Just add a candy bar to your day every day. Wouldn't you like a candy bar a day, then all of a sudden you're right there. Just add a candy bar to your day every day. Wouldn't you like a Snickers every

day? Hungry? Why wait? I have a friend, this is like my best friend in high school, he had cystic fibrosis. And one of the side effects was that he couldn't put on weight. Like I remember when he was 17, he started drinking a lot

of beer and his doctor was like, let him. You know? Yeah, let him. This is a guy who can't seem to put on body fat. He is at least getting to healthy levels of body fat with all this beer. So go ahead. And he had like a prescription for beer almost in high school. And you know steak, like the fat that you cut off?

Not him. He's like, yeah. The gristle's the good part. And you're just like, he liked it. He ate all the steak. Like there was nothing that he would cut off or have to worry about. And I always like kind of envied him. I'm like, man, you know, like I wish I was eating that fatty part. I have to cut it off.

I'd give it a go. You would like that? It's not good. No, have you tried it? It's disgusting. It's got a horrible texture. It's chewy as hell. It's nasty. Maybe I'm not missing out on that. Don't think of it as like,

now I've got to eat an extra meal of food. We're not talking about adding that many calories. If you just double it, I feel like all you've got to do to make up for that is, I don't know, have a candy bar a day now. Apply vitamins. I feel like at 4K. But hey, you get to coast on this for a while too. Like everyone here wants to lose some more weight.

You don't have to start this new diet where you had a candy bar. Yeah, you just cruise at 2,000 even though you need 3,500. You shed some pounds, then you get back to the candy bar diet. I was going to say, I think 4,000 is good. I think at 4,000, right,500, you shed some pounds, then you get back to the candy corn diet. I was gonna say, I think 4,000 is good. I think at 4,000, right, 4,000 calories a day, it'd be about what I want, but I'd have an easy time playing with that. If I had to cut down to 3,000 calories a day,

you know, because I'm, you know, look, I've been doing a lunch of fives, it's time for me to do a couple of threes, I'll sacrifice and just have lemonade but no snickers then you know i think four thousand a day would be nice you go to the movies yes i want large popcorn no i want an extra cup of butter and you get and you get some candy and like that giant cherry coke like yeah you know that the frosty the big one you know what put it in the popcorn bucket i brought a trough with me

a trough have you seen mad max yet by the way no do you did you like it enough to see it twice we could see it in boston oh it's so good I'm down yeah maybe we'll see it tomorrow night actually yeah I'm not even picky about how we watch it I watched it in like 3D the first time oh I'm not picky either I don't always like 3D but I liked it with this because there's so much shit going on man

there's people flying through the air and the whole movie is like two long action scenes with like some talking in between it's it's like non-stop real action very little CGI crazy shit all explosions death murder mayhem blood be guns maybe I'll say 3d is my first choice and then but I'll take anything because I often like in 2d the picture is really sharp right and the focus is where the focus belongs right like if they want to use bokeh and and they're like

all right you know foreground and background is blurred but this thing is perfectly sharp then then 2d they really nail that in 3d everything's a blur to some extent dlp 3d the way i watched it which i think is actually better than the imaxX 3d the IMAX 3d the Like the Hobbit movie there was a big difference between the foreground in the background like Fucking Bilbo looks like he's in my lap and the rest of the characters are across a room or something and and that always threw me but but I really liked it in 3d and I loved the movie I saw gravity in 2d and Apparently I missed it. Horrible.

You know, like I just didn't do it right. Yeah, that was a 3D-required movie. That was so great. Yeah, so, but I often have a preference for 2Ds. Yeah, I'll never forget. Like there's that scene where the Soyuz capsule has been, has like ruptured, been hit by shrapnel or something, and the ropes or cords or whatever that

connected to its parachute are like flipping and flailing and she's trying to grab this rope and the rope is 3d in the in the theater and the guy next to me reached out and tried to grab it the first time i saw 3d this is way back way, way, like, 20 years ago. And, oh, 30 years ago. It was, like, the Muppets in 4D at Epcot. And it was so good. Like, everyone in the audience was trying to touch it. And, like, for a long time, I'm like, why are movies so conservative with this? Like, every so often a thing will fly close.

But, you know, they really don't take it as far as disney did or they just do it corny and they shove shit in your face for the sake of shoving shit in your face like oh look a ninja resident evil is really bad i mean that's a bad franchise from one to five or six whatever they're at maybe we're super heavy on it like a ninja star comes right towards the camera like stupid shit like that it's like all right we get what you're doing here um you're not helping the franchise at all we're just over the top shit that's clearly shoehorned in like it doesn't even make sense for it to happen but a fucking snake will lunge at you try to startle you i don't care for that no not at all but yeah

overall i think 3d is still too much in its infancy. I prefer 2D movies pretty much across the board. And I even saw Gravity in 3D. And you still go 2D on it. Yeah, I'd still prefer 2D. It's just after a while I get tired of it. I feel like your brain is working too much to process all of these things in what reality, not reality, but what depth they're in

and you have to keep track of it all. It's like, no, I'm watching. I don't need to feel like I'm there. I'm watching a movie. I know that. You know,, no, I'm watching. I don't need to feel like I'm there. I'm watching a movie. I know that. That's why I'm here. I disagree with both of you. I really like 3D, the IMAX 3D and the regular screen. I really like the IMAX 3D because it's just so fucking big.

Maybe my screen's... IMAX 3D is good. I don't know. The movies that I've watched in IMAX 3D, I'm thinking I've watched the Hobbit movies. I watched Gravity, obviously, and maybe something else, some action movie. And I always like it a lot. I've seen sometimes they overuse it.

And I guess it's a little annoying, but it really doesn't bother me that much. I'm in between. Much like PC versus console gaming you know if it's assassin's creed i'd rather play it on a console if it's a lot of games i'd rather play it on pc because it's better on that and i think it's also these are movies like the ones you rattled off that took 3d into account and how to incorporate it right whereas the ones i'm talking about that i mean so many movies they i mean it's like yeah there's a two-day version a 3d version they just they retro do, or they just shoehorn it in,

and Resident Evil is what I go back to, because they've just fully scored right by the camera. I think Resident Evil is already a bad movie. Really bad. I've never seen a series literally get worse each movie. I don't think they would have enjoyed it, regardless of the theater. I think 3D is getting better. Not that last one, man.

I mean, I was upset it was so bad, because I understand it's bad, but I enjoy the series. But with the last one, they gave a big fuck you. They didn't give a shit. It was horrible. Why'd you keep going back to see it if it got worse and worse and worse and worse? Because I like the series and I want to watch and I want to see it all wrap up. I want to do another question.

I'm really excited about this. So this one is, what are your top three long-term goals? So goals at least five years out or more uh then he has provides examples pay off student loans and be debt free find a woman worthy to marry become a partner within his consulting firm those are freaking like ambitious and deep so what he is here is going to be like cremation versus coffin like what are your goals they're at 7,052 qualify for aarp yeah dude so his examples they're like pay off loans be debt free find a woman worthy to marry and become a partner in a consulting firm are so hardcore i'm like this guy's not looking for like cheesy goals and also

also and that's quick by the way five years for all things. I hope he's a go-getter. Yeah, he better be, especially the partner thing. Jesus. Right. Like, I think that takes a decade. But, and then another thing is, and I feel like a couple of us are in this position. Like, if you were to ask me this at Cisco, I'd be like, all right, five years from now, I hope to be in here financially. I'd be like, all right, five years from now I hope to be in here financially. This is the job title I aspire to have and this is what I want from my family.

Because at Cisco my future was so planned, I didn't feel like I was taking a flyer. You were on rails. Yeah, you were on rails. Perfect, yeah. perfect yeah um now it's it almost seems like a combo of planning out five years is a waste of time sort of kind of you know because like it's it's much more difficult to predict where i'm going from here and also like almost like i don't want to think about it like in five years will minecraft be a big thing well so like one I would think for you is get hope through college and not in debt like that I feel like that would be one of your goals you know it's not

directly to you but it's related to in your life it's a goal of yours I'm sure to get kids through college and we've got that sort of sorted out and you've got a lot of your goals kind of sorted. You know, like you just got a new home. Your dream, hopefully, if you will. Dude, maybe it would be best if you listed some of your major life goals that you have recently accomplished. What about that or a bucket list? Because you've been doing pretty well lately. I'm in a golden age.

Business, home, kids are doing great. You know, marriage is doing great. What goal? I'm going to write a book. Yeah, just want to maintain that. I mean, besides the dog bullshit, we can just, you know. One of the things I've been trying. So I watched this Netflix series on like great entrepreneurs.

Way bigger and better than me. I'm not comparing myself to Rockefeller. But I noticed that a lot of them had their success because they had cash. They're like, yeah, we ran into this problem so I built a bridge. Now I own the bridge and it gave me a big competitive advantage over all the other

people and that was a thing. And then when I tried to start fucking over the oil people, they built a pipeline. And it's like, man, that pipeline stopped the railroad people from fucking with rockefeller a carnegie was the guy who was trying to do it and uh i'm like just time after time all these examples are telling me that you know keep your powder dry is what my father would say you know have some cash on hand have some worth so that if things go bad you'll have

a thing and um sometimes i brainstorm about like you you know, what's after Woody Craft, I wonder. Like maybe I'll own a movie theater. Well, that must cost a little bit to start up, you know? I'm all in favor of pulling money to open the Gamertag Theater. I was looking into it. Like there's a theater called Alamo. Oh, man, Alamo is amazing. They're one of the best in the country.

Yeah, and they're looking for people in North Carolina. And I was like, you need some cash to get this thing fired up. So these things cross my mind. It's like, all right, in the next five years, I should prepare for the stuff I do now to end, right? Maybe five years from now, no one wants to watch Painkiller already. Maybe they've had enough tractor talk. I don't know. So in five years, I'd like to be prepared for my next 15 years. That's one thing. Let's see, Colin will be 17. So I sure would like to see him more mainstream

than he is today. He works towards that all the time. But I'd love it if at 17 he could work for somebody else. Even if it wasn't like a super skilled job. He needs the ability to go out there, earn a buck, and communicate with people who don't know him. Socialize and, not to socialize, but be at a level where he doesn't need me translating. He'll say stuff where if you don't know he's been reading Guinness Book of World Records

all the time, you don't get all the words and you think he's talking about clothesline pins on your face, but it makes no flippin' sense because you didn't realize he's been reading about world records for how many clothesline pins that people can put on their face. Let's get him past that. He's light years past where he was three years ago.

But let's get him light years further, five years from now, where anything he's talking about is sort of on task and normal and you don't need a background. You're not getting every third word and then filling in the blanks. So that would be a cool thing for Colin if he was able to work outside the house. That would be a nice five-year goal. And Chucks, I guess, I hope will be a politician at that point, I'm sure. Rising the ranks of the debate club and being the captain and whatnot. She'll be 21.

She'll be 16 next month, so we'll call her 21 at that point. She would be, I guess, a junior or senior in college. That's where she'd be. Wrapping that up. I'd like to still be married. And you'd be starting on your second wife. A midwife, maybe.

A couple horses. Here you go. Your cannabis farm when they legalize it in North Carolina. There you go. You'll have that cooking and churning away. You want to have a full alpaca farm. Oh, and that's the thing. We're joking about the house and everything,

but this house isn't just supposed to be something that I live in and enjoy. It's also an investment. I have 14 acres plus in Raleigh. And, like, that's not easy to find. Like, I think if you go out, like, 10 years that, like, I might. The hope is that I'm cashing out to the tune of, like, 5 or 7 million. Like, that would be the goal. And then that would be really neat.

You build that Alamo next to your house, you will have no problem doing it. Those Alamos are so sweet. I mean, it is like a gourmet restaurant attached to one of the best movie theater experiences ever. It's hands down. I haven't even heard of it. Everyone should go to one.

They're only in select few cities. It's called the Alamo Drafthouse. The Alamo Drafthouse. Alamo Drafthouse. I think it started in Austin, Texas. There's one in San Francisco. There's only a few in select cities, big metropolitan cities. It's a combo restaurant-movie theater.

It's kind of a high-end thing. They wait on you. You order, and they'll bring you pizza while you're watching your movie and stuff like that. It's really nice. Oh, so you get a real table, like actual service. Because I've been to those before where they're like oh it's it's a restaurant movie experience and then you go and you're just sitting in a slightly higher balcony with a little like magnetic tray in front of you and you start off the movie with like one beer and some popcorn

and then if you do want more it's like am i really going to get up and ruin these people's time watching the movie shuffling through over and over to get more and more drinks and food. The website makes it seem kind of like a pub experience. There aren't very many. No, there aren't. So there's Ashburn, Virginia, Austin, Texas, Baton Rouge, Corpus Christi, Dallas, Denver, El Paso,

Houston, Kalamazoo, Kansas City, Laredo, LA, Lubbock, Texas, New York City, Omaha, Phoenix, San Antonio, San Francisco, and Winchester, Virginia. None of them even really near me at all. Atlanta? No. So there's your opportunity.

And then I have to want, like, you know, you want a business that survives down years and, you know, is movie theater a thing? Is that a business? One, movie theaters really suck in recessions. And two, is a movie theater the next blockbuster? I know they typically don't talk of it as the movie theater experience will never have value, but it's a fear. I think they'll always be around. 15 years out is when I would worry, I would think, because they're still going to have the 48 frames, 72 millimeter film experience that you just can't get on a tv i mean you they'll have 8k and stuff at your home but it still doesn't compare to a movie theater experience

especially one like if you open up a draft house now it's like well do i want to go to fucking cinemark or whatever do i want to go to woody's draft house you know it's like yeah i'm gonna pay if i'm gonna pay money to see a movie i'm gonna go get a great experience and have dinner at the same time with my friends or whatever. Yeah, and then if you want to have an upscale movie theater, you probably have to get some expensive real estate to be near the upscale people. And that's, you know, a thing. Well, I would put it wherever that triangle where the colleges are or wherever that is. That would be an amazing place to put one in Raleigh. And only serve foods that ruin other people's time.

Like your solely crab legs. Peanuts. Crab. I've thought of opening a data center, too. And only serve foods that ruin other people's time, like your solely crab legs. Peanut. Crab. I've thought of opening a data center, too. My experience with data centers is that – I know Chiz hates this idea. I never like this idea. I hate it every time. This and DDoS mitigation, which it's kind of one and the same.

True, true. But here's the deal. Every data center I've ever worked with in my life sucked. Sucked. And I'm like, I would do this so much better than you would. And I love that in a business, right? Like if you see a business just completely filled with incompetence, you're like, yeah, that might be a, that's a target rich environment. What Chiz hates is the only time like you're ever noticed is when you suck. That's the worst part of owning a data center. Someone is constantly trying to break you or attack you

or you're just getting angry messages all the time, like it's never, I mean, yeah, you'll make money, but it's a job like you're just going to drone on and on. It's not a fun experience like something at Woody Craft or something. And I always feel like to be the best, and we've dealt with people who claim to be the best in these various industries, they just become the number one target then of everyone else. And then they have to strive to be better than they already are now which then costs like more money and more

staff and more upkeep and it just keeps scaling in that order what is a data data center what does that mean yeah it's where the computers go right so they have um typically like the level i would be is i would rent space in a facility that offered power and air conditioning. And then I would connect all these computers to the internet. You just get a button. I would get a network blend, something like that. And then I would offer whatever, a dozen different ways to get to different tier one carriers. Or maybe all of them.

You just buy the whole blend and then your computers will be connected to the internet you can run your websites you can run your minecraft servers you can run your whatever and uh and i would pretty much be the facility that people rent computers from sounds like you need a lot to start something like that up well you're in luck because i'm do you know who i am a lot of overhead to get that ball rolling that's for sure i earn a llama for fuck's sake that's my wolf dog yeah yeah You want to spit on venison? Two pounds a day, dude. But yeah, yeah.

So sometimes I think about what's next, right? Because even if you own, like, let's say you're freaking League of Legends right now. League of Legends is rocking the world. But do you think League of Legends is going to be a hugely popular game five years from now? I was thinking about that today. Like, you know, there's people on youtube and streaming i i know i want to get to kyle's thing in a minute there's people on youtube and streaming that can do this full time right now nade shot i'll just use as an example when he was doing that you know he's making very good money every month every year and stuff like that

and he said like that is a job that is a career for him and then there's people who make you know a decent amount comparable with a good like forty thousand dollar job and they might live at home or something or where their expenses are cut i look at those people like myself too you know it's like that's where you just keep saving all of that money so you then can invest it or pursue these other things because like you said if you have money you can make things happen you know you might have a good idea and go you know fuck it i'm gonna dump the two thousand into this see if it works and work really hard at it and maybe it turns into something if it doesn't it's a small loss and I'll write

it off but at least I tried or you don't have that opportunity if you've got no liquid cash you know yep so yeah so money makes opportunities so there are lots of people who have ideas who don't even begin to execute on them because they're capital constrained and that's an issue but alright so I took on the five-year thing which I thought was a pretty tough question. Who's next? I'm not really sure about the things that I want to accomplish as far as life goals. I'd like to travel some more.

I definitely want to get that one done. I'm not looking for a wife. I don't think I want to get married anytime what about a stable of whores I was gonna would you be more interested in wives if you could have more than one you know I've had this discussion with girls before they just are not

into it I don't know how these guys find women so here's the thing I could totally find like three or four girls who would be into me and and may even be willing to share but getting them to like cohabitate or coexist in a in a real life uh scenario that always shocks me when those polygamists have pulled that that off so let me quickly get to let me finish this let me wrap this answer up um i think it's less about life goals and stuff um and more about um more about my top secret thing for one thing.

I want to see how that goes. Did you touch it today? I bet you did. No, no, I didn't. I had to get ready for Joe's wedding. I didn't call him. I had Joe's wedding to prepare for. Touch. So I think that will be... Stop. So I think that'll be good to get

that taken care of. And if that doesn't work out, I've got a couple other little ideas. I wish I could talk more about this, but I really don't want to yet. So I want to get that taken care of, which is basically just adding another cash revenue, basically. That's a life goal, add that to the thing. But as far as stuff I want to do, that guy had getting married and becoming a partner somewhere. I don't really really want to do anything like that i'd like to travel more for sure um and a third one

like i'm pretty happy you know what i mean what does he like about travel it's like seeing you actually like traveling or like are the things you want to actually see in certain there are things i actually want to see. You want to go to New Zealand? That's one of the places I want to go. Walk the path to Mordor. Yeah, I want to do that. That would be sweet.

Unless I'm wrong, and I totally could be, Kyle hasn't done a lot of non-business travel. Usually when Kyle travels, someone's flying into a place because they want him to do a thing. You know, like, whatever. You can imagine all the ones he does and all the places he goes. And you get to see new worlds and, you know, go new places and whatever, different landscapes and such. But it's not quite the same as full-on, like.

It's a passive experience. Well, I'm just saying there's a difference. Hypothetically, I'm flying Kyle to my place to put a fence in. He gets in the night before. He spends his days doing fences. His night's free, but there's so much you can do when you're tied to some location. And then he flies home. He doesn't get to go to Venice and visit the Vatican.

They're not in the same place, but whatever. He doesn't get to tour Europe and just spend all his time seeing a new place it's not that really I actually do so I've been all over the U.S. I don't know but it's all all over the west coast and the east coast and um all in the middle uh everything but the Rocky Mountains out in that area never really been there but um I almost always uh scheduled it so that I would have plenty of time, especially if we're driving cross country. I don't know, I walked the lava fields of Mount St. Helens and I don't know, I got to see the sunset in the harbor at that restaurant in Seattle.

That was pretty cool. But all the food and stuff in places like Boston and Chicago uh in chicago and flying all around all through texas all that stuff so i had a lot of fun but what i would always in the back of my head on those trips is the work thing that i gotta do and the stress that comes from it so i feel like i can't fully like relax and enjoy the situation as much um or really be free to do everything i might want to do yeah it's it's like I've got to wake up at 7 a.m. I never really gave too much of a fuck about that either. There were nights when I just didn't go to sleep, but there was still the pressure of the day to come

and the stuff that needed to get done. And it'd be nice to go walk the path of the hobbits and not worry about if I got the shot or not. And five years from now, Sammy will be a grown man able to take care of himself. You can let him back into the water. I have him wrapped around my neck. We're talking about the snake.

He's going on. Not some bastard child. That's probably out there. Hey, he's not a bastard. All right. Tyrell. He's,

uh, he's adopted. Totally or whatever. No, no. What is it called? He's Tyrell. He's adopted. No, what is it called? When they have someone else raise you. Foster? No. Adopted? No, like Theon Greyjoy was to the Starks. Oh, a ward.

A ward. Thank you. That's what I was looking for. Alright, let's keep going. Mirka, your five year plan. Excuse me. I've been trying to think of good ones. I was thinking at the very least you should work in a better strip club. And then the only other one that I will get in really good shape,

which I need to start taking more seriously. Am I a robot? No, I hear you fine. How is your shape? Are you in the forward or the reverse direction? Oh, I think I hear you fine. How is your shape? Are you in the forward or the reverse direction? Oh. Oh, I think I'm losing you. That's like 30.

I think he's dodging the question. Who's with me? Yeah. Hello? How fat are you? What's happening? Let yourself go. Oh, no, I mean like muscular.

No, I was asking if you're moving forward or backward at the moment. Oh, I'm pretty, I'm stagnant. Me too. I hate that. Like it's, it's not getting worse, but it's,

there's no incremental steps better. Like lost a ton, got way better. And now for the last eight months, it's just been like within seven pounds swinging up and down. Like it's not, not progressing the way I want and so i gotta take that more seriously and then the other thing is i want to try and write a book i don't even

know what it would be about but i've always enjoyed writing and i i think i'd be half decent at it i don't know if i'd ever even want to share it or if I just want to do it to say that I did or even if it would be like fiction or some like comedy joking around story but I'd like to write something. Like I feel like that would make me feel accomplished and I would enjoy the process as well as the result. And you know I enjoy speaking like going on riffs and whatnot and I just think that that translates well to writing so i'd like i'd like to try that hopefully interesting like not ever to get published

because i don't never have but just uh everyone publishes now and see what i can do because i never pushed myself in that direction you know i know an author if you have internet you can publish but clearly you've got an issue with that right now. I know an author. So if you wrote a book, I could probably, you know. You guys are robot-y as shit right now. Oh, well, shucks. God damn it.

I was just saying that she gets published. She does it for a living, so she's like a legit author. She writes romance novels. Horn. She would be able to sort of, you know, tell you the first steps in getting that done very good all right cheers uh mine are all very similar five years huh uh give my real estate license i'll have that mid-summer end of summer something like that buy a home whether i

live in it or not we'll see just. Just an investment. Five years, yeah. I'd like to do that. Write a book and finish it. I've got three books started right now. I really want to do that. I've wanted to do that since high school, and I haven't finished any of them. I had something else. I forgot what it was.

Real estate license. Buy a house. Finish a book. There's something else. what are your books about well one is recounting my tales of travel across public transportation and all those interesting stories those people have shared with me and i go into great detail about those there's the other one's a fiction book you know what the other one's a weird war strategy manipulation persona book stuff like that uh what's the fiction book about uh vampires no romance place in medical biology i did already come i told jackie

that a long time ago i was like i'll write a fucking uh one of these romance novels and i came up with my premise it's gonna going to take place in a college. Like, I got the two characters and stuff. I just have to get the stupid series of events of fluff that lead to the actual fun stuff, which is only six pages long. You know the format. It's so bad. It's like Blue Ball's books.

It's awful. Like I said, the most exciting thing from the book she gave me wasn't the scenes. What book did she give you again? What was it? The Blacksmith? Beauty and the Blacksmith. Beauty and the Blacksmith. Thank you. The most exciting part was where the woman shot that guy off the side of the road. It wasn't even a fucking scene.

Jackie very misled me on that book. She's like, There's an anvil involved. I'm like, they don't give a fuck on the anvil. It doesn't even get involved in the story. It's bullshit and i said give me a good book recommendation and she gave me that one and then said well that one's shit and i'm like well why did you give me the shit when i asked for a good one and i've never read another since kyle that thing is awesome idea for a book for you chas it could be could be called a pauper's tale the story of a 19th century paper boy cow that thing is awesome did you get that in your po box yeah this is game of coins you're either rich or you're not and it's got scrooge McDuck sitting on a throne of coins. There should be a Lannister flag in the background there.

I agree. This was sent to me from Ripped Apparel. I don't know, maybe this wasn't a fan. Maybe I bought this actually. I'm not sure. No, it came to my PO Box. Yeah, it came to your PO Box. Ripped Apparel, whoever you are, thank you.

I don't know if there was a note included. I'm sure there was. There might have been if so i apologize this was sent to me along with a lot of stuff from the bar from bahrain um it's basically like a bunch of bahrain uh bahrainian souvenirs let me see if there's a uh a letter he also sent me this global war on Terrorism medallion. Good. I have that pinned on at all times. And this Kingdom of Bahrain medallion. Protected, of course.

Also a postcard from Bahrain. And he says, Thanks for all the entertainment over the years. Oh, and happy late birthday. I hope the t-shirts fit. I don't know why I got that spoon for you. Spoon.

Also, two points. Looking forward to seeing what videos come out with of lots of people I work with really enjoy them. Have a good one. I don't know if you want me to use your name. Thanks, Ben. That was really nice. So where is bahrain kyle yeah as we all know bahrain is located

yeah near the water a couple skips and a throw across from jerusalem um general bay area not sure what was in here before oh wait this was my yeah this is from the Sealand thing. The Principality of Sealand. I don't know what this is all about. There's a whole purchase agreement in here at one point. Someone stamped this for some reason. You need to sign back an NDA? What is going on there?

I think they want me to fill all this out. Sealand. He's entitled to some sea in a various land. I think they're trying to fill all this out. What is sea land? I don't know. He's entitled to some sea in a various land. I think they're trying to sell me some English weird island property or something. Dude, Bahrain. Go on. I'm just blown away by Bahrain. I'm learning about it.

Okay. It's amazing. So the jobless rate is 4%. Their economy is booming. The economic index of freedom has them like 11th on the planet. They're the fastest growing Middle East economy. Let's see. They mostly export petroleum.

There's a shocker. And the country is an island in the Middle East. And he sent you one spoon? He sent me the spoon, two shirts, a couple of those coins, and that postcard I think. Now this... Well, Iran is like a city-state in Civ. This came, I believe, from Israel. No, no, no, this is the Royal Mail one. This one came from Israel. Yeah. Lovely handwriting there, although I'm sure my Israeli isn't as good anyway he

sent me a menagerie of things a few things here one of them I thought was pretty cool because I like coins is he sent me he sent me this is these Israeli coins which I will in no way be able to display well for the camera but uh... i'm in norah and uh... but you had a can make that one hell rich yarmulke the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the

the uh... the for the week and the included with this Jewish money a note that goes on for a while I guess I should read some of this yeah read page one first fun facts your name in Hebrew is and then he wrote it

so definitely his Hebrew is better than my English Woody's name he put all of our names in Hebrew I won't share that it looks like scribbles to me. My favorite swear word. Okay, I'm framing the... Refine.

Is it... Well, I don't know how to pronounce that. Why didn't he put the phonetic spelling next to it? Yeah, he wrote it in that Hebrew. Come on, Kyle, do your best. Try to pronounce it. Cock. That was your name. My favorite um he says i'm framing one a

picture of you i went through lots of trouble to make this happen so i hope i get a mention on the show fuck kyle team gamer tag unsub woody rest in peace jack um um i have been watching the show for a very long time i watched every episode kept me entertained for years uh listen watching the show for a very long time. I watched every episode. Kept me entertained for years. Listened to the show while going overseas. Riding BMX bikes at the gym and more. It goes on for a while like that. He really likes us all. He's got a YouTube channel with 75,000 subscribers.

Holy smokes. He's the FAPLET. F-A-P-P-L-E-T. I like it. Dreams at school about meeting guys here. Meeting you guys here. Meeting you guys here. I love it.

One little... He wanted to send me a bullet that his sister found at her army base, but he didn't know if that would be allowed, and he included in the package Where's this framed picture? No, he has a framed picture

but for myself That's great, it's getting bigger Oh, please send all of those to us It's the picture that Kyle hates He just sent him dozens of them I'll add this to the rest, you cocksuckers Funny

It is so funny, keep sending Kyle those I love that face you're making, so coy I'll add this to the rest you cocksucker funny It is so funny keep sending Kyle those I love that face. You're making so coy and you know how sexy you are Snap the photo Are you guys taking photos this is just how I look Get my left side get my left side if you're gonna do the photo right now yeah I've got a video to watch I hope this video is interesting um cue up at zero what goes eight shit on entire family in the car. Well, this can't be bad.

Yeah, queue up at zero. I know I gave you a link with the time in it, but... Alright. I hope I'm right to queue up at zero. Road star. Alright, are you guys ready? Yep. Set. Play. You fucking asshole!

Shut the fuck up! I barely... Shut the fuck up! Yeah, zero was good. Fucking bitch! You piece of shit! Get off me! Get off me!

You bitch! You are a bitch! You fucking J piece of shit! I just grabbed your arm. You're hitting on me, you fucking asshole! I grabbed your arm. and I just let him take some charge back and give him a smack whoa he's crying while being an asshole there's a twist with the girl he's getting sweaty

he's so mad he's cursing at the parents he's having a break time. She said, I grabbed your arm. You said we could go to Burger King three times today. Can you take me to the police station? Because now I have evidence that he assaulted me. No.

No. No. No. No. His sister has threatened going to the police station that she has video evidence of an assault. All the time. Nothing's ever good enough for a person.

You got a bitch and cuss and everything else. Him all the time. No. So the parents seem to be blaming her. No. Apparently there was a scene at Walmart. Is anyone shocked they shop at Walmart? Whoa!

Sister? Okay. Good family structure. Okay. He's fucked up his seatbelt in a rage. Oh, me and something in here! I don't know what I'm touching her ass! Her nasty ass! Warts in her vagina ass! Damn! Poor little guy! He's fucked up his seatbelt in a rage. Is that a secret? The warts in a vagina? Or something he just made up? Rice! Rice! Rice! The rice! I'm throwing rice!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? Rice? rice rice rice he's having some kind of like seizure right now no cuz he's just throwing freaking milk on lettuce and there's chips and just throwing stuff he doesn't even care Why do you videotape like I'm going to hurt your ass, bitch? You already did hurt my arm. Yeah, I sure did hurt your arm. Yeah, and lay on my stomach. I'm going to deny that. You're trying to make something out of that.

Okay, I didn't try. I tried it. I didn't. I'm just telling you. That's great. That's great. Parents have to have some blame in this. Oh, all the blame.

I'm stuck. I guess on the, because the comment section on YouTube says essentially the same thing. Like, this is terrible parenting, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. I want to know what made that kid go crazy. That kid was beyond, like... Probably nothing. We're not getting the full story.

Well, you heard her. You know, it was, you know, like, you touched my arm or whatever. And she touched him at some point. And now he's having a temper tantrum. Obviously, something else is in there to throw a fire on but nothing to expect this kind of outrage and reaction from a fucking kid the parents are like oh you didn't do anything it was you in your mouth who kind of set this off and and i feel like she's owning this situation the girl you know like

i think she's enjoying catching him flipping out like She's adding fuel to the fire. She got him. She has him right now. She has him out of his mind, so she's videotaping it and poking in just the right way so as to be sane while he's crazy. She's just antagonizing him. But she's antagonizing him and trying to throw fuel on this fire. She's also being a cunt in this situation. She's Kyle's sister, right?

She knows exactly which buttons to press to make him crazy. Right? Kyle doesn't normally go on top of the roof and disable satellite systems. But she made him do it. She made him crazy. And I feel like this girl is perfectly doing

it. Now, he's crazy. Let's not say that he has no blame in this thing. He is the one that went insane. But I just wonder what the full picture is like, what's going on. Why are the parents on the boy's side? Because he's probably the youngest. He's probably the youngest and that's typically how it works out. Maybe he has some sort of problem with his temper. I don't know. He's not hitting her, right?

He's only hitting the car. And I felt like that was intentional. He hit her at one point. In this video? Oh, yeah. That's why she says, he's hitting me and I'm pregnant. He did hit her arm in that video. In my head, he was flipping out as much as he could without getting into trouble.

Like, you know, I can hit the car, but I definitely can't hit the girl. I could be insane, but I definitely can't do this or that. There wasn't that middle divider cup holder thing down. He had crawled over that shit and hit the shit out of her, I think. The parents are to blame. 100%. For both parties involved. What would you have done in that situation as a parent? was mad but he was I would not have a bro I

would not have raised my children to lead to this point where one is having one of the craziest outbreaks I've ever seen and the daughter is pregnant and also being a manipulative cunt yeah I feel like it would be time to like abandon that family you know in the old days you know in the old days when a man like realized he'd failed his family he would just hop on a train and go to another town i totally pulled that with these people like he fucked up next time you go into walmart you come out i'm not going to be in the parking lot i'm gone like daddy caught a train he's gonna find a new family it's over mulligan yeah yeah you're gonna do the child locks put it in neutral and slowly let it go into a pond

You know he gets stuck in his seatbelt cuz it would have locked into a Temper tantrum freaking the fuck out. That's how that kid would die I just I wish I knew the background to that because that kid is flipping out and I host parents that actually gave a shit Well, like I said a good pair would not have let either child get to this situation they're both fucked this situation right you know what I'm gonna pull they would have pulled over I would think into a parking lot and be like alright this is not going down like this you do not get to act this way and you don't get to fucking hit each other okay give me your phone you're not gonna

record this shit you don't threaten to send your brother to jail when he's 13 and 15 all of this bad parenting under purse. Let me ask would everybody else here be Horrified to act like that with your parents in the car. Yeah, I would be afraid of a ring hand finding its way into the backseat Yeah, there's no way I would ever dream of acting like that around my dad my mom was a hitter like i remember just you know i forget i was upset about something in a restaurant like something made me really sad or whatever and she says oh you crying i'll give you something to cry about and then it was like i like i i remember this feeling like oh my god i was like completely distraught upset over something stupid, I'm sure.

I was like, I've got to get my shit together or she's going to give me something to really cry about. And she would have. My mom would beat the fuck out of me. So, yeah, I wouldn't act like that. No, that would not get the response you're hoping for. If my kids acted like that, especially if it happened more than once, she seemed like she wasn't... She was used to it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're having an episode today. Sorry. My kid would be seeing a therapist over a situation like that. He would. And some people would look down on that, but that's one of the things.

If that shit's happening in my family, we're going to get you someone to talk about. We might medicate your ass. That can't last. Yeah. That kid was flipping out, hitting the car, and he completely lost his shit let alone the things he was saying it was like a fucking drunken sailor was going off on

this fucking situation he was over the top and a therapist would help him deal with these situations so what would you do if those were your offspring your little munchkins in the back I think maybe you abandoned them right there I don't i really would think i think i'd abandon that family that's a mulligan family well you can tell there's no dad involved you know he bailed out at the age of two on the daughter you know like you could see there was no man in that i'm out of there that's awful i could totally see like just putting those kids out on the side of the road too that's a that'd be a good option like as soon as shithead started freaking out I just want to like slam on the brakes drag him from the backseat and then just burn

rubber into the sunset big fat eyes just well up with tears sister on the curb to a better life yeah that's great lady think that she came off good like that she came off as the hero in that situation that nobody in the side nobody in that car is it's a real winner it's they all suit each other very well I think the girl in there is... She got completely what she wanted out of that video. She managed to get him to flip out to the maximum

extent, which is exactly how she designed that situation. I bet she does think she looked good. Look at this. Look how awful my brother is. Yep, she's a whore. My back is killing me. I got a pain in my lower back. It's like running down my right leg. I can't be good, right?

That's what happens when you hunt snakes. Yeah, I was going to say that sounds like a venom thing. It's rushing like it's sort of spreading to your leg. Your finger went through the box, a little bit of the fang. No, no. You can just start sweating once you think about it think about it maybe it just nicked you you know when it came to snapping it scratched you

you know if i learned anything from game of thrones it's that it can take a few hours before you really realize that the the thing is working your way through its circular system do you feel sick at all was that a sand snake you might have caught did you catch a sand snake no my back just hurts real bad. Yeah, that's called muscle cramps. Your body is slowly shutting down on itself. It's in the bone though. That's cool. Oh no.

The bone snake. Your bone marrow is rotting from the inside out. Confirmed! I'm not sure what I'm gonna do with that snake. I'm a doctor, I know this. He's in the other room just chilling out right now. Kitty is adamant about removing him Yeah, yeah, so she said um let's see So I said she's a Kylo will cut you call I will cut you

And I said Sammy wouldn't like that and she says I hate you and then I replied with a snake like a snake emoticon and then she says get rid of this snake and so I just replied I hope it fights you I said he tried and that was it nice hey I have another question you do be a roundtable discussion? Hey, honey. She says I'm too loud. She's shutting my door. What superpower that normally be considered epic would be rather useless in daily life? That's hard, right? Because it's an epic power, you would think it would make your daily life better.

I'll go flying. Everyone thinks flying is awesome. Flying is a little bit like an aerial motorcycle, right? Like, it's cold when you fly around. You really have to dress for like two seasons worse than it is. Flying solves a transportation problem that I don't have. I'm going to Boston tomorrow.

Not an issue. It'll take two hours. I don't know if I'm going to Boston tomorrow. Not an issue. It'll take two hours. I don't know if it, unless my flying is coupled with some sort of miraculous super flying, I'm thinking of bird flying, Hawkeye flying. I feel like you're flying

at a cruising speed of 30 miles per hour, something a car can do. Yeah, even call it awesome. Let's say I can go like 80 miles an hour, right? It's cold. I've had motorcycles. That's chilly. Like you need to i'd have a costume goggles and a jacket you go i'm gonna go flying today you put your fucking leather

jacket on your helmet your goggles and you go fucking fly you're flying now trust me no no i've been there and then once you get at your destination you're like wildly dressed too warm you go the way of the crow you don't fuck roads and all this extra time spent curving and shit. You go from point A to point B. I'll be right back. I have my motorcycle outfit. Motorcycle outfit? I'm concerned now because he doesn't own a motorcycle, so I'm a little scared. But he's also wrong on this one too. Just a little bit of bedroom play. I feel like I need to see a medical team professional.

He's gonna come out with a fringe jacket, you know? This is a hard question. Why's going to come out with a fringe jacket, you know? This is a hard question. Why are you having aches and pains? I don't know. I hurt my back when I was, like, 14 on a diving board, and it's kind of always hurt a little bit, but it's hurting really bad right now in, like, my lower back,

and it's kind of running down my thigh with pain. This is an arrow stitch. I'm sure I'm too far from the mic. This is an arrow stitch. I'm sure I'm too far from the mic. This is an arrow stitch. It's a protective motorcycle thing. I could slide for half a mile on some of these skin points. Where's the fringe? It's got no fringe underneath the sleeves

to go brrrr. Protects you from concrete burns and women. It actually looks good on, but anyway. With your big American flag patch in front of it. It actually looks good on, but anyway. Well, I make it look good. With your big American flag patch in front of it. So that's an aero stitch.

They're amongst motorcyclists. They probably know of it. But when you get there, all of a sudden you're like, oh, my God, like I'm dressed in this snowsuit and it's, you know, 65 or 75 degrees out. You've got to take that off it's as ridiculous as this hat I'm wearing where you're going custom tailor by the way I get a suit that I unzip in the back and I'm fucking done I'm wearing my regular clothes look once you're able to fly the

only place you're gonna be flying to is your is your movie performances and your live performances both of which will be paying you millions because you can fucking fly. You are the cheapest special effect out there. You always are Superman's stunt devil. You think the government would let you be out there? They wouldn't. In real life, we're talking about if we went into the world tomorrow.

This isn't X-Men where they're like, oh, that's just another dude who can breathe frost onto things. They would grab you and they would take you somewhere to study you. You would not last two seconds Just stay out of air-restricted areas like the drone. Yeah, they'd let me fly. There's so many superpowers that I would – Manipulating time is the one.

That's the superpower that can change everything. I could take – That is the best one. Yeah. I would just be like, all right, Chase. Trust me on this. We're going to do like a zillion puts on Cisco or like Netflix or whatever and so many times I was like give me one day just give me

one day one stock chart that's all I need and I will be a multi-millionaire that's it yeah that fantasy out um superpower that is impractical in daily life I'm gonna shoot down the flying one because it's fucking amazing. You're very fast. You don't need a fucking car to deal with. Like Kyle said, you're popular. You're famous. You're being paid to do things.

And it's fun as shit. There is more. It's just freezing. Get a fucking backpack. Yeah, that's it. You don't know how luggage works. You can't even go grocery shopping with this superpower. Carry on.

What are you, Nini Man? Someone else does my grocery shopping for me.. Carry on. What are you, Nini-Nin? Someone else does my grocery shopping for me. So does you. Same for you, Woody. Someone does your grocery shopping. No, you're in a basement somewhere being waterboarded, and that's going to be explained how to fly. Yeah, the best superpowers have a couple million people deliver them to your door. I just wish for it, and it happens. You better wish for something else.

There's a golden survey in the castle. your door but something else go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go day-to-day life I would say the whole because it really wouldn't help you in day-to-day life yeah it would suck hulking really fuck a lot of things up you could run all day it would you know it I I'd go through so many clothes you might kill someone on accident that is a friend like you get pissed off at this guy in your cubicle and you're in a cubicle and now you've just hooked out and killed like four of the nice pretty women behind you like so I'm gonna go with hulking out that seems impractical wouldn't really help you that much in day-to-day and you talk about the government like taking you and perhaps weaponizing you they would just like drop you in iraq and poke you with cattle prods until you broke shit all right we gotta drop the government thing out because

everyone knows if there ever was a superhero person that is what would happen to them not if you could manipulate time like as soon as they get on to me I'll be like you know a backup 30 seconds Freeze walk away. Fuck you What if it was only five minutes what do you what if you only had it for five minutes? So you could like go back five minutes so like they're at your door And you're just running out the back like you just put it on the stack Exactly Actually wouldn't take any time at all You just put it on the stack. Five minutes, ten minutes. Exactly. Ah, I guess you keep going.

Yeah. It'd take a while, maybe. Actually, it wouldn't take any time at all. Time would owe you. Yeah. I think those laser, like the guys who can shoot lasers and energy at their eyes, like Cyclops, that seems detrimental. That's a horrible one, actually. Like, it's just like, I don't want that.

When they do the firing, the X X-Men thing everything is 100% accurate when they cover Cyclops like oh you mean the only thing between me being fried to ashes and being alive is those little tiny ray bands you have there why don't you put a chain around them did you see Kyle in the break room today yeah he can heat up that coffee really quick

but that thing he's doing with his eyes is freaking everybody out he killed the orphanage through the wall over there, but, I mean, the coffee is hot as shit. Yeah, you wouldn't want that foul. I don't think there's a better one than the time travel. I think we could sit here all day. Well, no, the question is what is the best superpower, the superest superpower that would be impractical in day-to-day life

that would make it, you know, different? How about in any daily life is Hawkeye. What are you able to do? Like throw business cards accurately at clients? Like you can't do fucking anything correctly. All right. Accuracy is not a superpower. Let's get that one out of the water.

It is for Bullseye and Dave Depp. Accuracy is a pretty good power. Just like leadership is not a superpower for Captain America in coordinating people. These aren't superpowers. Anyone can do them Okay. All right, but they don't say yeah Aquaman useless no And day to day are you in the ocean every fucking day here? Well, what does he do other than control fish? I think he has super strength and he flies

All the life in the oceans he controls the Basically the tides and all the power of the waves to not he could tsunami the whole world if you wanted to Yeah, I really put a hurt on some people in black It's like he's worth it He started being able to telepathically communicate with fish And then they just kept adding on all the other stuff because that first one sucked. It's horrible.

What are you doing, dolphin? Not much. He's the fucking king of the ocean. He's got that Neptune-like spear thing going on. He's super powerful. Most of the Earth is covered in water. I want to say a lot of superpowers kind of suck you love to defend like these stupid super here they're not stupid Aquaman sat back

wrong anyone on that man can be anyone he did no way I could be Batman what yeah me in a window with a sniper rifle, waiting a long time, beats Batman. Where is Batman going to appear? Wasteland. I will have Batman... You never know when Batman's going to appear. That's what makes him Batman. I'll have some hooligans raping in the alley

and then I will... Hooligans raping. Continue. You are quite the villain, aren't you? Then I will snipe Batman. Batman will be dealing with you. He's going to hear about all the rapings that you've been staging down there. Chris Hansen will come first.

He's got all these other subset crimes going on to lure Batman out. Yeah, I think he'll just hear about all the raping you're doing and that you've been hiding in that window with a sniper rifle and he'll come get you. He's Batman. Oh, I hate that. I hate. Oh I just feel like you think it's so retarded. He would have detective you really like yeah

In real life that wouldn't be that beneficial generally sword fighting people Yeah, no I know if you got a car accident Unless you're actively sword fighting people. No, okay, not the claws. He's got regeneration. If he got in a car accident, it didn't fucking matter. If Chiz had Wolverine's power right now, he'd be masturbating at full strength. Yeah, this wouldn't be a problem right now. Cut yourself again, just for shits. Yeah, exactly.

For fun. I think Cyclops might be the best one. Yeah, that is an awful super. Ah, what about, no, I got a better one. Um, um, is it Rogue? Which one, which one is it that, uh, when they touch, when she, she can't touch another human being cause she like takes their powers, or with a regular human being, she like puts them in a fucking coma.

I don't even think of that as a power so much as a curse. But yeah, that's Rogue. No, Jean Grey's the, the one, the... She's the rogue. No, Jean Grey's the one that... She's the phoenix. No, yeah, she turned into the phoenix. She's like telepathy. I think it's rogue then. Yeah, it is rogue.

It totally is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I was just... She goes by Mystique, though, right? No, Mystique is the one who can shapeshift. That's the blue one, right? Jennifer Lawrence? Yeah. It's not Jennifer Lawrence, is it?

Wait, am I wrong? It is Jennifer Lawrence. You are correct. Oh, I'm thinking of the old one. Never mind. No, that was John Stamos. Let this moment go down in history. I knew a name and Taylor didn't. Boom! Well done.

But yeah, that's rogue in the cartoon she had like red and white hair and she could fly and she always wore the gloves and she's super strong and if she touches you she like sucks all your power out and now she can do whatever you can do that seems like a shitty power at least the version of her that exists

in the x movies anyway maybe you go into H&R block grab your agent and suddenly you can do your own taxes. Save a little bit of money. Huh? I mean, if you could steal professions, that'd be cool, but that's not how the power works. You'd be touching heads like,

oh, am I going to get lucky? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Wolverine? Hey, you. Huh? No. No. Okay. Horrible. Yeah, that's probably the worst one. It's pretty useless. Or whatever that butterfly chick is. She's pretty shitty. Oh, yeah. There's a couple of mutants who actually have, like, physical wings,

and that sucks. Like, uh, I think one guy was called, like, Archangel or something, and he literally has, like, feather wings. He literally has fucking bird wings, you know? Yeah, it sucks. That's a deformity, and it wouldn't even be worth it to be able to fly. He has them is in the comics well he had some off the third movie to the shittiest that's right yeah yeah doesn't want to be that guy anymore

nobody wants to be that guy what's your power I can fly all of half of the x-men can fly and you have those stupid fucking bird wings, you bird. How's he doing now? Does he have anything else? Pete Holmes is who we're talking about. He had that... I feel like I didn't really appreciate his comedy

until his show was off the air. They didn't give me enough time to discover him. I've never really appreciated his comedy, to be honest. I just really think that's a great series he did. I didn't care that much for the Tekken one. I think he did as well. Because I can't relate to his character at all. Street Fighter. I think the X-Men series is great.

I know you like the hit it back thing, but I really don't like his comedy all that much. I would definitely put him in the lower tier of comedians. Maybe. But he also, like... I feel like he's a watered-down, weak Jerry Seinfeld. Wow, that is very watered-down.

Which, by the way, his show, Jerry Seinfeld, the comedians getting coffee in cars or whatever, is pretty good. Now, you've got to select the ones with the people you want to see, like Jon Stewart, Howard Stern, Bill Burr, Louis C.K. Those are good. Okay. Kind of pretentious. I don't watch them all because there's a lot of shitty people I've never heard of there.

Yeah, yeah. Why don't you like it, Woody? I want to get your piece on that. I feel like it's very long-winded. Oftentimes the audio quality is bad. You hear the clanking of coffee cups and I'm not getting the entire conversation. Maybe I'm

dysfunctional in that way. um sometimes i'm not hearing everything they want to say and it's long it's usually 45 minutes and you'll enjoy three of them how long is it i don't know you might have watched like season one where they were testing a lot of different shit because the audio quality is good and if you go to the website they have all their different seasons just like seven people per season they're all between 13 minutes to 19 minutes on the long end so it's like you know it's pretty i have the length wrong but some some of them were kind of long to listen to and and then he would like drive in weird cars and they'd spend a lot of time explaining they spend a lot of on the in the in-stream advertising is really shoved down your throat no these weren't cars they

were selling this is like a 1973 convertible volkswagen beetle thing or whatever and it's like i get that the car is kind of interesting but that's totally not why i'm here and and you just you're just killing me on this like there's a good three minutes at the start every time where and you can't skip it whatever player they've got custom you can't skip through but like three minutes is in-stream ad in-stream ad jerry goes over what car he's driving totally goes long-winded on it um they're sponsored by acura so that's probably why they do that for all their cars you know they're not all accurate cars um but then they have funny things too like i guess funny like they'll be walking down the street and a car pulls right in front of them they go what's that oh that's the acura blah blah blah huh they're really pushing that

in-stream advertising a little bit pushy you know the car's like bumping up against them and stuff but if you just pick the pick the ones you want to see from people like the howard stern one was pretty good i wonder what rates people pay for advertising another other mediums. I know what we charge on Painkiller already, but we had Kumia last week, and he has four people on staff setting up tech work and doing whatever. He must be charging...

That's a subscription-based show. He's got a huge fan base. He was number two on Sirius. Alright, Brendan Schwab. His is a free show the fighter and the kid they have that i've heard one number you've rattled off to him and if you know if i keep doing what i'm doing we'll hit that number you know it's just i don't think so yes uh i don't know what number you're passing halfway to that number

i think you're thinking of the number that he gets from sponsors every fight. I don't know. There's a number you throw out. You're like, he's making this much a year on his podcast. I'm like, we're halfway through, and we've hit half of that so far. So we'll see. He has two people on the show, so you need to quad it or something. Almost $8 million so far this year.

It sounds like I'm ripping on cheese, but I think it's famous people are earning a lot on their podcasts and uh like much more per view than we are and i i can get why they might sometimes their podcasts aren't even heard that much more than ours like i wonder how many how much we're being seen compared to the fighter and the kid i know they're the the number one sports podcast or something, but I don't know what the number one sports podcast getting views. Well, they're on the number one in any category on iTunes gets your face on there. That's true too. You get promoted when you're in the, so maybe he does get a lot of views, but

I feel like some of these other things are like, okay, when people buy a magazine ad, oftentimes they're paying like $150,000 to show up in like three episodes. And I'm like, whoa. Like that is a huge number. And I mean, to get a comparable amount of impressions in this show is next to free by comparison and uh i just i don't know it's hard to say it's hard to say like if you threw out you know numbers and names i can give you reasons why they have more or different sponsors too because i just like you know i don't know what the number one sports guy does but like all the podcasts i listen to like i know like

their podcast is not just for fun. It's an entire division of a company like that's how much money they make. Anthony Kumiya show is subscription based plus sponsors and he was number two in Sirius XM. So he's got one of the biggest followings around. Who was also? Oh, Jerry, you were talking about his show. His show is free, I think, but he's also won like every online web webby based show award for like the past five years or something like jerry seinfeld wins every time and they've got acura as their sponsor so being the number one and winning all those awards

uh helps a lot like okay i wonder how many people see a given episode of the daily show how many people do you think watch it in that daily show episode three million something like that well john stewart's the highest paid you know anchor out of anyone yeah so if they get three million like 130 million a year let's say hypothetically 300 000 cr show right between podbean itunes and youtube this is probably getting a little long-winded for some i feel like kyle's even bored but we're not doing one-tenth of Daily Show money. I wonder how we get to that.

I don't know. New topic, I suppose. Kind of get on Comedy Central. Yeah, I've been trying to work the slave angle. I feel like we could get a couple of people working for us that we don't pay. I feel like that's the ticket. Those are just called interns, Kyle interns i'm not saying it wouldn't work interns are allowed to leave not the good ones dedicated ones kyle was it you saying to

get people to move into your house or was it something like that the other day oh yeah i was yeah yeah that was funny yeah he used to have people living with him all the time. I forget who it was. It might have been Kyle. It might have been someone else. But they were like, yeah, you get someone to live here, and then that's their whole thing. They can't just quit the job. They have to quit their whole life.

You're not just their boss. You're their landlord. You supply everything they have to live. They have to do what you say. And I was like, huh. Just like slavery back in the day.'s a good deal if you can get it get you a few people moved in you just everybody gets a job lozans got that cooking right now yeah yeah totally he's he's had an asian slave for quite some time those are the hardest working those those railroad buildings asian all right

indentured servant all right they prefer that term over slave i don't think he yeah he definitely doesn't pay him i don't you know in food i guess and and room and board but he earns money but i know how much he earns sharecropper i i know how much he pays andy and i can infer that a good bit of his pay comes in form of food and shelter and electricity and stuff like that. Yeah, sharecropper. So he sort of owns Andy. Sharecropper. Yeah.

Terrible way to convince people of your idea here. I bet there's people right now who would be like, I'd sign up. I'd live in Woody's guest house. We've met those people. Yeah. Like, I'd sign up. I'd live in Woody's guest house. We've met those people. Yeah.

Right? I could totally get someone to move into the guest house and just help out. You know? Yeah, Woody. I'll set up all the tech. You need to figure out T-Notifier? No, you don't. I'll do that for you.

Nice. People who do that deal. Bitch, it's a nicer term. Yeah, I like that, too. Yeah, you need yourself an intern. You should get on there. You're I like that, too. Yeah, you need yourself an intern. You should get on there. You're a tech bitch. Yeah.

Yeah, you got the second home. And if they're living in their second home, there's a lot of incentive for them to keep you happy. You're around all the time. They don't want to get essentially evicted and lose their job in one of those ones. I like this. You could turn your current home,

your old home, into, like, an office space. We were talking about the guest house and the property. No, no, you don't want them that close to you. These are fucking weirdos, dude. You want them 40 minutes away, back in Apex, and you go in, you know, raise morale. Hey, guys, I'm here. Get everybody pumped up, and, you know, then you leave for the day, and they get back to fucking tech work.

Everybody's in there in a dark room typing away, just working on shit. Dark room because I don't pay for lighting. It's just monitor glow. That's all you get. It's just very stuffy. Monitor glow and kiddies candles. They completely survive on flat foods. You don't open the door.

Just pizzas and Pop-Tarts slid under there. That's how they're fed. You live a better cost off style. There's not enough light and it smells like gasoline. Kerosene lamps and coolers for everyone. My back really is fucking hurting bad. Now, what happened to your back? I heard it when I was like 14 on a diving board and it sort of all hurt.

But recently it started hurting really bad. You should get over it. And while I was sitting here, the pain is running down my right leg, like halfway to my knee. So it's just like, and I've got to get on that fucking airplane tomorrow. I waited too long to buy tickets, and so I'm having to fly business class or whatever. Oh, my God.

What are you, a pauper? Yeah, I'm flying economy, but carry on. It was like $800 fucking dollars for the ticket. No wonder. It was awful. When he said his ticket was $800, I was like, oh, that sucks. Mine was like $300 or $400. It is economy.

Maybe it is economy. I could get the ticket. But Kitty bought the ticket. But at one point, she was going to have to use all my air miles to get me to first class. And I was like, ah, fuck it. I'll just do it. But I'm going to be in that little seat tomorrow. I'll sit next to those peons below me.

I'm going to have to take something for the pain. It really does hurt. I hope it doesn't hurt tomorrow. We're all out of Boston. It's only like an hour and 50 minutes of air time. Expand on this accident. I tried to do like a... It was sort of like if this is is my head up up here and like

this is my feet down here i kind of bent that way so like head toward like backwards i was doing i don't know why i was trying i think i was trying to do a backflip and poorly and like at the base of my back like right above my butt like there was a crunch in there and what did you hit the diving board? Did you hit the night hit anything? It was just while I was in midair like the way like bent really fast it like hyper extended or or whatever and There was a crunch in my back and literally hurt yourself Yeah, I did wow and that's how powerful I was as a young man. Or how fragile you were as a young man.

Made a paper mache over here. I bent backwards and I haven't been the same in 14 years. I really haven't. And right now it's really fucking hurting badly. This sucks. You can be tangling with snakes. That's for young folk. You could try ibuprofen.

I took Welbutrin, I think. I think that's what it's called. I don't know what that is. Welbutrin? Is that some weird cocktail you make up? Welbutrin, I think. I think that's what it's called. I don't know what that is. Welbutrin? Is that some weird cocktail you make up? I think that's what it was called. I took a painkiller whenever I left, I don't know, maybe 45 minutes ago and sat back down. I took one then.

I'm hoping it kicks in sometime soon. Kitty was like, they're a little rough, so only take one. I was like, what does that mean? She's like, just take one. I was like what does that mean she's like just take one maybe you're more hardcore ibuprofen in particular to the venom ibuprofen in particular can be good for like anti-inflammatory stuff like it's most likely whatever's between your spine that's bothering you yeah and and ibuprofen will shrink that down and stop the issue I feel like a nerve is being pinched right now or so a shot of ginger ginger a ginger

This is some 1920s medicine to go with our wardrobe Awesome Viking and a surgeon What surgeon was calm down now they go in there kill that nerve? I want some Vicodin and a surgeon. 24 surgeons. Calm down now. Go in there and kill that nerve. Maybe you've been hanging around Kitty too long and she's rubbing on you. Like if I could just like get in there. I could disable.

Into what? Kill yourself? Can I give you another piece of life advice? Listen, if you're actually entertaining the idea of surgery on your spine, get at least two opinions. Don't be lazy. It's not. I wouldn't call it spinal surgery.

It's back surgery. There's a difference, right? Like it's. There's not a difference. How many bones are in your back? It's just a few. You know, there's the vertebrae. Yeah, that's part of the spine.

I guess. It's the spine. It's not an I guess. That's the spine. It's what spine's made out of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go see two doctors and don't tell the second one you saw the first. Then you can compare and you're good to go.

Yeah. My dad felt cancer. Yeah, spine cancer. My dad ruptured a disc in his back when he was like 40, and it was a really serious injury. It was a long time before he was fully recovered and uh and i hope it's nothing like that that's one of the most difficult surgery things i've had to watch is when they crack those open and you can see the actual cords of the

spinal cord it's like like one wrong touch and that dude's paralyzed or permanent nerve pain or something it's so fragile and scary. His incision was tiny on my dad. It was like that, like maybe an inch and a half, two inches. And I think they just went in and cut the nerve. So now like the right side of his right foot is numb all the time. He doesn't have constant pain. He doesn't have constant, debilitating pain, yeah.

I had a similar issue, probably not as severe but um somewhere like in my lower neck high back area i was having a lot of pain and um it's you know she's like you know so what do you do and this and that and we then i showed her like how i take a slap shot and she's like that's that's the thing that's the thing that's hurting you yeah she's like can you stop doing that and i'm like well what are other options like i don't see how i can be an effective hockey player and you know this is like b league here so we're not fucking around and uh um uh since she put me on some drugs and i actually did like, I was shooting slap shots all the time,

like to make it better. And I would just, you know, hitting it nonstop. And I stopped practicing. I only did it in game situations and it got better. Yeah. What other questions we got?

Oh, you're looking at the Patreon stuff. Check out the Patreon. There'll be annotations on the side, links in the description, and you can be more involved in the show. You can even dictate what we talk about to some extent.

What is something you're really good at but hate doing? I feel like when I gave this question to the list, I had an answer in mind. Really good at but hate doing. Really good at but hate doing really good at but hate hmm yeah most of the things I'm really good at I like right I'm not sure that's a hard one right like if you didn't enjoy it and you weren't good at it you would stop doing

that yeah most of the things that I got good at i liked long enough to you know develop the skill i'm trying to think of something i was good at and then just gave it up like stopped liking it i mean i i don't know if i'm really good at it compared to other people but i'm done driving if you told me i didn't have to drive for the next four weeks i'd probably be cool with that i i i'm sorry you're not really good at driving though. Well. How would you know you do all the driving? Well, there's a reason for that Yeah, I was asleep I found a perfect image for Woody about driving yesterday. I'm gonna send this to him. Okay

How true is this thing? Woody isn't a good driver. It's 100% true. I don't know how much I believe it. I feel like he's a terrible navigator. He wouldn't be a good driver. I feel like I would be a good driver. I feel like I am a pretty good driver. Why would you guys say I'm not good at driving? Just general awareness and control of the vehicle. What? No!

You mean everything about driving? If you talk about me driving, like all the things that happened in North Carolina were exactly as I wanted them to happen. Just because you think a mild bit of off-roading, say during a U-turn, is, you know... See, that's not allowed to happen over here on this coast. There isn't no fucking off-roading, turning really wide and recovering later. You have to make sure you're in the fucking lane, you know? No, but like... There's no extra give on the roads. Like, like, you know how you do like a U-turn and maybe my

truck's turning radius is a little more than the road. So you're like, oh, he hit the grass. Yeah, knew that was coming. Exactly what I expected to happen. Worked out fine. That's not bad driving. That's good planning. But you'd be up on the curb over here, though. I mean, provided that there is nothing troublesome on the curve, my truck is prepared.

Right. No problems with the truck. Curb's just an extended road for a truck. Did you guys get my picture? I sent a picture. It says what the roles of the driver are, the shotgun person, and the backseat. And Woody is 100% the backseat guy. He's very good.

He might even do the backseat role in the shotgun seat. That might happen too. The driver. Drive, focus on road, don't kill us. Shotgun, stay awake, mad DJ skills, navigate so hard. Backseat, snack distributor in chief, remind front seat people bathrooms exist, nap like a boss. I might have a gift for backseating. I think you're really good.

You could do it in driver's seat. I hate lists like that. I hate lists where they try and make normal things sound like you're badass for it. Like when people post cooking tips. Sorry, I'm not hitting it back. I should be doing better. I like it when people make normal things seem badass. I think it's cool. It makes me feel badass.

Do you feel like it though when you read lists like that? When it's like, oh, you want to make your own sandwich put some fucking lettuce on that shit it's like yeah i love that i love that i i read it like i read this thing or not or maybe watched i forget what it was about making guacamole and they're like you put the guacamole in there and you smoosh it up smoosh it up smoosh it up add salt add pepper stir stir like it's you know like there's no tomorrow then you'll show up at a party with this homemade guacamole and they'll never forget you or something it was like that sounds awesome oh so try hard just making it sound so intense when really you're just mashing avocados with salt like Chill out. It was cool.

I was like, this is a super status that I think I can achieve. It's right next to reading off of the GPS on your phone while Siri is verbalizing the GPS for you first. You're the double relay middle man. You're really good at it. Put the address in that shit and drive like a boss.

Taylor, name something that you're really good at but hate doing yeah we're all struggling and I'm struggling too I can't think of a single thing because things that I'm good at and I think across the board this will go for almost everyone you're going to like things that you're good at I used to be really good at clarinet and I hated it the whole time some people will argue that this is not true, but I am better than most at Call of Duty,

and I'm kind of, I don't like it anymore. That's one, too. Yeah, first-person shooters, and I don't enjoy any of them anymore. Can you think of anything, Kyle? I can't at all. I can picture you playing clarinet, though though on a street corner in that hat or hand handling dude they fucked me real hard in middle school they were they came up they showed us all of the instruments you have a pedal experience too what a pedal experience yes they bent me over

and shoved an oboe no they showed us all the instruments like this the flute the clarinet the trumpet the trombone um and then they were like if you want drums you have to have had a year of experience the percussion ensemble then you can do drums well i said fuck i'll pick clarinet because i couldn't do sax they had filled up too many and then i get there and all of the fucking drummers had no experience whatsoever it was a bullshit prerequisite and i was upset for the next three years as i perfected first chair i had to stick with it for three years and play an instrument you hated because you misinterpreted the fucking choir. Well, it was better to take a

real stupid extracurricular activity like cooking in middle school, which isn't like home ec in high school or anything like that. You don't get to cook anything in middle school. We did in our middle school. You know, I'm trying to remember. My high school and middle school and such were cool. Oh, I remember what I was thinking

of. So I've told you guys before that the amount of money going into the school was based on real estate taxes and because we had so many summer homes in Ocean City, there was a tremendous amount of real estate taxes per student compared to most places where all the houses are occupied. We had scuba diving in gym class. That was one of the like, I was just thinking, I was like, I bet most people don't have scuba diving in gym class that was one of the like i was just thinking i was like i bet most

people don't have scuba diving in gym class but but we i'll one up that with how amazing your is okay so in high school you only had to have two years of physical ed and they changed this policy right after my year if you had fucked those up you would take it throughout the entire four years of high school which made me happy because i fucking hated that shit um so and they have a different curricular for each for freshman and sophomore you do really boring shit freshman year and then sophomore year that is a cock hannibal dictor what is that who is that no it's the mad max cock i that was my first guess that's impressive that's the main antagonist i think right look at that well it is he's recognize him, right, Kyle? The Mad Max dick?

Yeah, at the beginning, Mad Max has a mask on like that. So that's him. I've got that cock ring. He's a bit less girthy than the previous models, but still fine. To each his own.

A little pencil dick. Yeah, I have. We're going to make some viewer feel bad he's gonna realize that he's pencil dick too and be like ah that's pencil dick shit you gotta get sticks on all of these and have a little marionette show going on you know some women don't want to feel like they're having a baby during sex so you'll be perfect

for her with your pencil cock you lost me there yeah exactly there are women out there who are pencil vagina and you're a perfect match i've never never heard that one you're too girthy or you're too i need you to be thinner you know i really like a thin dick that's because men aren't assholes there's a whole comedians got a bit about that. You've never heard a man saying your pussy's too big She's too big. Yeah Well, I think you never see a bunch of men laughing about a woman's big pussy We take what we can get and we were polite about it and we keep moving women are assholes

They're the only ones who have ever mentioned a tiny dick. It's the same way for height and weight, too You know, it's like, you know was i talking to you guys i was talking to someone else we're like um i think the woman posed the guy like oh how tall are you and he's like six foot she's like oh good i only like tall guys and he was like well how much do you weigh and she's like i'm not telling you that he's like oh i don't fuck fat chicks you know you know it works how dare he you know it's just funny except one of those things, you can't make yourself taller. You can. Break your shins.

Painful. Wow. You've never heard of that? The thing the Asians do? They break their shins and then recast them or whatever and they get taller? That can't possibly be a real thing. It's a real fucking thing. Did you see the Muay Thai fighter who had titanium implants on his shins?

Yeah, that's fucking blood spore. He didn't give a fuck. Dude, that was crazy. And then, like, no one saw him get injured. Apparently, the surgery he had that gave him titanium shin bones is a thing that you might get had you broken a shin bone. The people looking at it didn't see where the break was. And then, like, he recovered really quickly, too. They broke his shin bone, and then he's fighting again in four weeks.

They're like, no. If his bone had to heal, he wouldn't have been able to fight that quickly. This guy just had titanium shin bones installed. He knocked his opponent out. The guy's like, I have never been hit with anything remotely like that before. This guy went from a baseball bat, which is what your shin bone is,

to an aluminum baseball bat and fought with that. A titanium bat. Is that fair? That is not fair. That's not fair. You're half cyborg at that point. Yeah. He can't fight anymore. Putting metal nubs under your knuckles? Come on. Where do we draw the line?

Probably, I guess there. That's a good spot. So I have a PKA subreddit moderation question. Would you guys like to be involved in the decision making for this? Certainly. Of course. I love talking about matters I can talk to. Okay, here's the deal. There's this guy on the PKA subreddit. He's written to complain three times in the last 12 hours because he's shadowbanned. Now, I shadowbanned him personally. His offenses are, one, like ripping apart the Patreon stuff.

He's one of those guys that's like, they make a trillion dollars in Patreon every month. Don't you think they should be reinvesting it back into this or that? He's telling us how we should spend the Patreon money, which is half of it was imaginary. That was one of his offenses. He also seems to dig into Chiz a lot.

He jumps on the Chiz hate train and I'm sick of that. So I shadow banned he's doing it in earnest because i feel like 98 of the people who do that know that it's just a joke and they actually like chiz no this this guy's a manipulative jerk he'll he's trying to like rally the the troops of douchebaggery and and and he does it sometimes in ways that make it oh he didn't mean it that way, because there's enough stupid people who are going to believe that.

So it's best just to shadow ban him. That way he can't mislead the sheep or spread his... Do I know this person? I'm pretty good at picking up the real assholes. Usually they'll have five negative down votes or something for me and i'm like i know you i know what you think i i'm i'm curious you're just without sharing who he is um do you have oh yeah this guy yeah you know him yeah he was the one i responded to about the 500 thing that made me go all right fuck it I'm deleting all of the old patrons. These are the numbers.

Suck a dick. You know? Like, eh. He posted a lot in the PKA subreddit, although I'll say a lot of it was like, I don't, like, not very positive. He's definitely like a super fan of some sort, although probably not right now.

I'm just like, he often takes that like contrarian position like, oh, you're just a fanboy. Well, Chuck's fanboys are often nice to me. I like fanboys. I send a lot of fanboys stuff. Does he do it like he's concerned?

Does he do it under the auspice of being concerned and he's just trying to bring i'm just trying to start a conversation here like that kind of horseshit i feel like it's like it's devil's advocate a lot i'm just are you above scrutiny i feel like there's devil's advocate a lot um well here's a guy who like fussed at me for for not knowing geography or something i mixed up baltic states with nordic states dude that's that's my thing. Just chill. How does a shadow ban differ

from a regular ban? They still post and they don't know their ban. It's kind of funny. Yeah, if they're infrequent posters, usually they just never have any idea. This guy posts like 15 times a day and he's like, how come only two of my last 17 comments seem to be showing up

and stuff. Yeah, he needs to go. I just see he's inflammatory. He's just being a jerk. You see it too, right? I'm reading through like I've read maybe 40 of his comments like in the last, you know, minute and it's always just right on the edge of being a jerk.

He's just an asshole. I'm glad you see it too because there's no particular comment where you can be like, here's where you flamed. Because he treads a line where he's trying not to be like that flamboyant douchebag where you write him off right away. He starts talking. All of his posts are very long-winded.

And if you just read them, though, you go, you're a bit of an underlying cunt. It's hidden in the wording, but I can see it. Yeah. I've been loving the PKA subreddit lately. Some dude's like, the money should be going here. And then I do a bullet point list of things, write a couple paragraphs, tons of upvotes. That guy gets downvoted. It's great.

I shit on people. I'm like, you are fucking stupid. I've been active in the PKA subreddit for months now. I've been active in the PKA subreddit for months now. And mostly, there was some negativity. And the negativity comes in waves and stuff. And people noticed it. I spent some time in the barrel lately when I didn't really deserve it.

And recently, Kyle did. And it's like, I don't understand why this keeps happening. I don't even know what that's all about. I'm so confused. Just like two threads popped up. Like, Kyle did this. I'm like, did I fucking miss something I'd listen to all the complain about two things I supposedly did like you're one of them was they said that at some point someone had paid to be on my friends list and that I said at the time that I

had removed him from my friends list because he was being annoying fuck are you mad about yeah if somebody had paid to be on there and then they were breaking some of the rules of that whole thing, they got deleted. This is like five years ago. Five years ago, you cocksucker, you petty piece of shit. The other one was me playing Call of Duty 4 and yelling at some kid because he had a bad connection.

If you look at what's going on, I'm playing Sabotage with Socrates and my buddy Tmuch. We're on a 90-something game win streak, and the guy on the other team has the host. He's lagging the game up, ruining it. I knew he was going to inevitably end my win streak. So yeah, I'm talking shit to him on the internet.

Five years ago on Call of Duty 4. You weird motherfuckers. The first one? There were two threads about that one. I was like like why are they fucking digging up shit from five years ago look at him back there five years ago that is the kyle fuck all these 300 episodes of pk whatever it's like a buzzfeed article five things you didn't know about he yells at children on the internet so you say keep this guy shadow banned or keep him banned, whatever.

Yeah, keep him shadow banned. That's where he belongs. Yeah, because this is a pretty common decision that I make as a mod. I'm like, man, everything this guy writes is negative, but not so over the top that I can be like, okay. So someone posted a picture on the subreddit. I didn't like it, but I didn't fuss. What's his name? Bailey J or something like that.

He totally looks like a dude, a masculine dude, more masculine. Oh, that's the other guy. That's the angel guy or something. Chuck Angel or something like that. So this guy looks like a dude. He's got big muscles, tattoos, and i guess he's hairy is he hairy let me look at his picture again um go to bailey j anthony kumi yeah i mean i forgot who bailey j was and on tweet deck they'll they'll have a little snippet of a photo and then you click

and get the full thing and it was tits and i clicked it and then there's bailey j's cock in full glory so i'm thinking of the other guy, Chuck Angel. And this guy looks like a motorcycle gang guy almost, with the tattoos and the body hair and whatever. And he's muscular. He's not like, if you think about your typical trap or transvestite, they're pretty feminine, like you see it. But he has a vagina.

He's straight up a girl, well, born a girl, who took drugs to become very, very guy-like. And there's a naked picture. And he's like, well, Woody posted two random pics of Happy Trail girl yesterday. Okay. One was Britney Spears from the cover of, like, Rolling Stone magazine. Like, it definitely wasn't porn. Another was a bikini picture of, like, a cartoon girl with a Happy Trail.

And both of them, like, if your mom saw you looking at him would not think twice of it like it wasn't porn in the slightest this is a naked person and there was another one of a naked person and he's using mine to justify this and it's just like back the fuck off man like don't act like i set this standard of porn all over the sub right i didn't the same person you didn't get the joke right you didn't get the joke mine was a joke and um i don't know it just everything feels like a bit of a dig a bit of a knock uh i don't know too you said us we cross off the list i don't give a shit yeah she's just it is a big list. Every one you hate. If you shadow ban someone, they'll only be ignorantly banned like that for a little bit, right?

Because then they'll realize, hey, none of my comments are being read or responded to, so I'm not really a member. The hope is that they think no one likes them anymore. Yeah, it takes a while, I would think, because I feel like it would take me a good while to figure that one out like oh i'm not getting any upvotes okay yeah i'll go somewhere else 90 of i worry this is a bad topic but 90 of the time they're not that active a poster and they never notice um and then one this guy's a super active poster even banned he posted like 10 times today and um you know like a lot of his shit like he's

estimating how many views um pka gets and he's underestimating it by a good deal and it's just like well thanks for the help asshole yeah didn't he say like 50 000 listens or some bullshit like that yeah he yeah he doesn't know the metrics i don't even know the metrics but it's more than that no one knows the metrics i'm the only one that knows the metrics i don't't know the metrics. I don't even know the metrics, but it's more than that. No one knows the metrics. I'm the only one that knows the metrics. I don't even know the metrics, although I can probably look them up. No one here, literally the only one unless you've received an email from me

that knows the metrics. So you can suck a dick with your guesstimations, because you don't know. And he's guessing wildly low. Way off. Yeah. So, I don't know. I just don't like it I don't like it he stays shadow well you stay shadow banned which sounds like something to the shadow realm you bet a wizard would do to you and Lord of the Rings yeah

no bottom it sounds like you need the forces of Mordor to do that but I like it shadow ban him it's a very very funny thing to be able to do that, but I like it. Shadow ban him. That's a very, very funny thing to be able to do. Because they're wasting time, essentially. They're literally wasting time. Well, I didn't agree with this. I'll come back later, see if anyone replied.

No one's going to reply. I think it's hilarious. I wonder if that's ever been done to me now, anywhere. If there's anywhere that I'm like typing my heart and soul into but no ever reads it like that are bad people hate tons of paragraphs and what yeah yeah boogie is the new poster child for fat people hey I don't know post child the right word but his image is on the sidebar yeah um I don't know if poster child is the right word, but his image is on the sidebar. Poster on the side, yeah. I don't know.

I don't know how he feels about it. I guess I feel the same way. If he hates it, if he doesn't care, then whatever. I'll just line up with that. I think he kind of just lets that shit roll off his back at this point. I wonder if he thinks. What I hope he thinks is this. I'm making some money. You know, like he made a video about hating fat people.

It got almost a million views. Ooh. Yeah. Well, strike while the iron's hot. Exactly. Make another. Do a follow-up. You know, like maybe that one will get half a million views.

That's not bad. Do your thing. Maybe people will discover you. The long tail on that stuff. Not only is it a million view video, but a lot of people watch that who aren't already subbed to him. Maybe he's picking up new subs because of this. I hope that it's working out for him.

I messaged Wings a couple nights ago. He hadn't gotten back to me. I told him he should come play some Civilization with us. I thought that would be the most entertaining thing ever. The most amazing experience I've had in years. We could livestream it. I'd love that. I wish he'd get into the game.

Because I know how passionate he gets about games. And I feel like this is one that you can really lose yourself in. And while it's certainly not some hot new title it's what I enjoy doing it's it's my favorite game to play oh four hour time limit you were going to wreck his sleep schedule it's probably already wrecked yeah but I don't care about wings of Redemption's sleep schedule I just like to play some civilization with him because I think he'd be I think he'd be, I think he'd like it. I think he might even be good at it. And

I think at the end, whether he lost or won, he'd be very entertaining to play with and watch. Yes. I agree 100%. I wonder if he would think he was great at it long before he was.

Certainly. Certainly. Maybe. He might dramatically overestimate how good he is. It seems like the kind of game that you can't really fake it that you're good. It seems like people will know right away, judging by how complex you guys make it sound.

You make a decision every couple turns that kind of, if someone were looking over your shoulder, they might judge you based upon those decisions. I mean, I'm telling you, it's like chess. You have to be thinking 10 moves ahead. It's like what do I call that game against the East-First-West game that we lost. And Woody's like, how did we lose? I'm like, I will gladly explain how the events will unfold and how we lost.

He's going to buy these city-states. He's going to do that. He's going to win the Congress. He's going to do this. It's over for us. Monkey Dragon outplayed you. just the opening moves of the game uh i just i know i'm gonna go scout scout scout uh shrine if i haven't picked up a religion triple scout oh is it for the the shrines are super valuable they can they can give you artifacts now the ruins

yeah so you're just looking for ruins yeah those are super valuable uh i go i go scout scout scout uh shrine if i haven't picked up a free pantheon for my scouts yet uh if i then um um monument uh and then i'll get a granary if i can but if not i'm gonna start building the uh the uh start building the pyramids. Because by that point, I've got like four social policies unlocked. I like to straddle tradition and liberty and go back and forth as I need them. I had fun playing with Hope the other night. Like sometimes, I even alluded to it.

I don't know if we were live yet, but it was like, if she doesn't agree with your decision, she says it in like the most aggressive way possible. You don't have a temple yet. Oh, that's like the first thing you do. I can't believe like what she should know. I didn't.

Are you deaf or you just returning? I now realize that she has no ground to be standing on to be to be like talking about your your gameplay because she plays single player in a very specific way turn timer runs out yeah like that's like that's like that's like playing the call of duty 4 single player and like doing the sniper mission and then thinking you're going to be good at gb like it's it's a whole different thing or playing playing against the combat bots, whatever they were called. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. Yeah, and it's actually, that's probably a better analogy. Yeah, playing against the bots. What did they call those? Wasn't there a word for them? Combat bots, maybe.

I don't remember. Yeah, all right. So, yeah, the bots in combat training on, you know, not even that high a difficulty. And, yeah and um she's a player right she she knows how to play civ but you know in the same way that someone who plays in combat training if you know if you in that first game that we're writing off obviously um if you had been flipped in spots with a monkey and we were coming at you she would not have known why Kyle was hitting

Your city from out of range that from what a bowman can normally do Most people wouldn't unless you know what that unit is and it's with them like you just not he's standing on a hill Is that what's happening? Now his is the long bowman get to shoot the same distance as artillery and no other unit does that but a size artillery It replaces the crossbow and it's amazing for taking cities early in the game I can hit it's out of the city can't hit it But it can hit the city as long as the terrains not bad as long as there's no hills in the way. Yeah, we're Citadels Now I think we should we not to get into a long convoluted thing but we play

two games uh they won one and we won one and um i want to play a third and do a rematch where it's uh chis and i versus monkey and none of the games were quite right like um in the first game chis and kyle had a terrible spawn and that was their valid reason for losing the game in the second one I really didn't want to play they talked me into it so hopefully it was basically monkey and hope and I sat there dancing on stream you could look up the VOD if you want to doubt this but I was saying yeah yeah so and then eventually hope had to go to bed like I, I'm going to make up a number, say 150 or 200 turns in. And we were in a happiness hole.

We were making like two gold per turn. And I had a lot to turn around. And Monkey didn't have the partner that he would have had I started from the start. And Chiz and I had both decided. We went double Poland. Like, I feel like we were trying very hard to make sure there wasn't a second loss.

They brought their A game. They brought their A game, and I brought my A dancing game. I think I said that. If we got Bean, and it was totally fair square, and we got Bean, that sucks. We're going to be very upset with that, but we're going to go, alright, we got outplayed.

But when I'm 300 points behind my partner, and I've got six hexes of tundra, six hexes of desert, five water, and three workable tiles, I'm fucking pissed because there's not a damn thing I can do. I feel like that's the most telling thing, because he was... You don't have to explain

to everyone who's listening how I'm doing that. He was 300 points... No, really, don't feel obligated to explain that everyone who's listening how activating that is. He was 300 points. No, really, don't feel obligated to explain that. He's 300 points behind me, and there's just no reason for him to be, because he's not getting beaten up. He's just existing over there. No one had even discovered my lands.

If that was a good spot, I'd have flourished. We both used Poland as our civilization. They both feel like Poland is the best one, so they brought their A game. It's one of the best, yeah. Especially for both running it. We're each getting a free fucking social policy every era. Science generation. Science era.

Yeah. That was a good game. I'd love to play a rematch. I love the game. I've been playing it a lot lately, trying different civs. And the UI is very cool. We got a new user interface. It completely woody changes the way the game looks.

The unit control is a lot better, I think. It's got a lot of little tweaks in it, and it looks very different. I like it a lot. I'll have to grab it, too. If I ever play again, I don't know. Yeah. It seems like me is getting tipped off this game way faster than Kyle and Chiz.

Yeah. Well, I've also been playing it for a long time. Like, Civ V is a more complicated beast than the previous versions, but I've been playing Civ in one form or another since the 90s, and I'm not great, and it's not me saying I'm great. Just, like, dude, it's too much. I don't know. I don't want to devote my life to it.

I'm enjoying it right now. I like reading about it. I like watching videos of it. And I really, really like playing it. It takes a long time. I mean, I don't want any game. It takes a long time if things had gone right. Let's just say that.

I once had an interest in World of Warcraft. And I was like, why does it dominate your life? Why is it so life-ruining? Can't you just play it on a casual level? And the guy explained, everything that's worth doing in WoW takes six hours or more. That's why it ruins your life. You can't just sit down and play it for 15, 20 minutes like you can COD.

You have to play for 6-9 hours. And that's what's happening in Civ. You'd think that 7pm would be a reasonable time to start a game. Yeah, if you're willing to play till 2am. And if you play till 2am, you don't have a normal sleep schedule. World of Warcraft

is a thousand times worse. You can play WoW at your own pace. The problem is, if you want to do any of the fun stuff, you have to be on when the other players are on, which is at night for like five hours. World of Warcraft sucks. I feel like we always skip over the fact that you can save the game and

start again the next day. You could play the four of us could get on and play for three hours today and then two hours tomorrow. We've dreamed of a game so big and massive that it would take us days to finish. Yeah, we've talked about playing on a really big map. And so we start a game and months might go by.

And every day the empire grows stronger. The thing about that... It's very comparable to Risk. Risk is not a board game you set up like Monopoly and play. You need to either settle in for five hours of Risk, or you just leave the pieces and come back tomorrow afternoon or whatever. Has anyone ever gotten 90 minutes into a game of Risk and not regretted the entire thing? I will kick all of your asses at Risk. Never played Risk.

You know why you'll never beat me at Risk, Chiz? Because you'll never fucking play me and it's bullshit. Bingo. If you wanted to do hockey, I would do hockey and hockey sucks cock. Dude, we should do that. Why not hockey? No, no, I just gave you the prerequisite for hockey. Risk. There you go. That's the prereq.

I will bring mine. I have a portable risk game, alright? I will play Risk with you on the PKA Hockey Adventure. Let's go up to Canada and play hockey with these people. PKA Hockey Adventure. Who is going to pay us money? I didn't grow up playing paintball Yet I've been on like five paintball adventures Bring some hockey

Merker, are you with me? I would love to see Chiz out there Doing his best Complaining the whole time I will go on this trip But I refuse to put skates on. I won't put the skates on. I won't be guilted into it,

or tricked into it. I will not put skates on. Why not, dude? You're athletic. He's got bitch-ass ankles. Seriously, I have the most excruciating pain in both my ankles every time I put skates on. You're letting your feet bow out more than likely, and you're skating

on the inner edges instead of flat. I've been skiing with him and he had the same issue in that too. I honestly think he just has the ankles of a 12-year-old multiple sclerosis patient. Right here. Portable risk right here.

You could play goalie, Kyle. I'll play out and shoot on you. That sounds awful. Yeah, right? I was like, you're going to hit the thing at me as hard as you can? That'll be fun. I'll tell you what, I'll not shoot toward you. That'd be a nice thing to say.

It's a guarantee that when we're shooting, we're trying not to hit you. We're trying to score. I would love to do a PKA hockey adventure. I'd love to go to Canada, break out the old passport, and I bet there's some Canadians out there who'd love to hang out

with us and do it. We only need that many people. Just like 15, 20 or so would fill the rink. See, that's the problem, though, right? Who's going to pay us to hold a hockey event? Yeah, how are we funding this thing? Isn't that weird? 15 people, what are you going to have, a tournament? All right, we'll do it at my place.

We'll make it cheap. Street rules, 30 v. 30. Fuck it. That's dangerous. I love the idea of any kind of a meetup, and I'd definitely like to go to Canada. And I wouldn't mind that you guys played hockey. I would sit on the side.

I'm sure there's plenty of non-hockey-playing Canadian fans who would show up for this thing anyway. But I'm just wondering how we would justify the trip. It's usually good if, like, I don't know, if there was a hockey arena who was like, yeah, yeah, we'd love to do like a PKA day or something. I don't even know how to sell that. You would have to have multiple ice rinks wherever this place was so that you could go, all right, we're going to bring so many people. You'll have people at this station, this one, that one. But like you said, a hockey game was what, 15 people? Yeah, I've never seen a hockey rink that didn't have like too many people trying to play there.

You know, like every hockey league I've ever played, you you're hoping you don't get the 2 a.m. game because high schools take the good time and the men's leagues are happening. Yeah, you play between 10 p.m. and 2 a.m. in your shitty time period. And there's like 28 people crammed onto the bench and you get one shift every 10 minutes. It's a little better than that here,

but yeah, we've had nights like that, when the season first starts, especially. Well, it would be cool. We could just ice skate. I would like to do a trip where it was just, maybe we just had some fun without any fans. If you wanted to go out to Idaho. What are you saying?

What are you saying? You got a problem with them? There's going to be another post about you now. I don't care. I'm going to suck a dick. It would be fun to... I saw a picture of Taylor on Twitter shooting a rifle. It would be fun to go out there maybe and shoot prairie dogs. I think that would be

so much fun. For those who don't know, I know we've talked about this before, but prairie dogs make really good long-range targets. They're varmints. Their burrows break cattle and horses' legs, so farmers pay you to get rid of them. And there's a lot of places you can pay and they'll take you out into a field where you've got a lot of range.

800 meters maybe and you can use these long range highly accurate rifles to pick away at these prairie dogs and when you hit them they explode. And you hear like a wet thud. Dude my.50 cal could do that job. It's long range and it's highly accurate. Your.50 cal could do that job. It's long range and it's highly accurate.

Your.50 cal could do that job. I don't think that's what you would want to bring. You'd have more fun with something else. You'd have more fun with your.223 bolt action rifle. I'm sure you're right. Who am I to tell you? But at 500 yards, a.223? Didn't you start to get a little wavy you'd shoot you'd be shooting them at

two or three hundred yards with that rifle like if you wanted to go out to see the thing about the 50 is it's not is it's just so loud and so concussive and the machine gun ammo like the stuff you always see me spraying away at it's fairly cheap it's all belted up and it's it's not match great ammo but actual match grade ammo for the 50s, fairly expensive. It'd be kicking like a mule and it'd be obnoxiously loud to everyone else like who had like 223s and AR-15s. And, you know, it could be one of those things where I brought, you know, three or four suppressors and we could have everything shoot nice and quiet. That'd be fun. That'd be fun. Especially like.308 would be a nice caliber.

Yeah,.308 with a silencer on it, it's sort of a weird, sharp, glass breaking noise. It's quiet though. You don't need ear protection. I'd like to do that. I've got so many rifles that are set up to do that.

I could arm all four. I don't have enough scopes for all four of us but i got enough like long range sniper rifles for like all of us um in one way or another like totally i've got like full barrel ars that would work great for that i've got how many scopes short are you one or more um actually i took my premier optic the other day and i don't know how to put it back apart together so i'm like a bunch of scopes short maybe four so I've only got the one there's only four of us yeah I know I know we need some scopes but but I don't know that'd be fun I'd like to go I'd like to do that but I'd like to just do something where we all

just kind of hang out and and do something that doesn't involve sitting in a restaurant or you know being in a city so much it'd be fun to like it doesn't have to be a survival trip but it'd be nice if we were doing something borderline physical you know be jumping dude we're planning a woody craft team-building event so it's not related to PKA but like all the staff members the paid staff members are coming to my house we got enough we sleep everybody and we're going to do some stuff like laser tag, lawn Jenga, croquet, go-kart

racing, fence building. Jackie's been planning all these different activities, pool, ping pong, but other stuff too. Slash chores. This feels like a trap. Lots of homemade food, homemade ice cream. And I don't even want to give away all the stuff.

We were talking about prizes. We were talking about... We should have a butter churning competition. Prizes? Get out. Good idea, man. Where were you? That was not a good idea.

Butter churning. Get the fuck out of here with that shit. Butter churning prizes. Bill's character. I can just imagine all of you sitting there doing this sweating profusely you gotta get what he is pound of butter dude I think every night or most night maybe do some of the nights we'll do a bonfire you know and instead of just like whatever chilling on the couch and stupid admin what we'll have a fire in the backyard we've got like

we have a fire like pit with um what are those swinging chairs called? Like you know. No. It's a wooden chair swing like you'd see on a porch but like three people wide. What is that called? A swing? Sex swing. Yes. That's it.

I thought it was called a porch swing. A porch swing. Yeah. Well we've got a bunch. We've got like three or four porch swings surrounding the fire pit that we could hang out and talk with. And I think this is going. I'm really excited about it. We've been planning and getting ready. So a couple of events of events. I can't really take credit.

I guess I'm just thinking of from the office field day, like a fire walk, you know, walking across the top tier, a hot dog eating contest. I'd love to see something like that. What else do they do? Maybe carrying the egg. One partner's blindfolded. We've talked about stuff like that. You know, all of that trust building, those trust building exercises,

you know, blindfolding. You know what I was thinking would be fun to do? I mentioned this before, but we haven't actually done it yet. But I was like, let's let part of the grass in the pasture grow tall take the tractor out and mow a track for the go cart and then we can race the go-kart on the track and like for time and stuff like i think that'd be fun i like that idea the only problem is that can get a bit dangerous because they can't always see

where they're going maybe and they don't know the terrain. We always use hay bales. You can get those square hay bales and make a pretty effective like figure eight track. Yeah, I was thinking we'd even have cones. Like, all right, maybe we wanted to. I was like, we have like. We stole ours. We have two acres where like the grass is tall now.

So you can make a pretty effective like blind thing. And then we could put some cones out and have people really hit. Like our-kart goes i think i'll go like 40 miles an hour and uh you know we could have some cones out so people can hit out top speed and do their thing it is dangerous i mean the two people have nearly broken their arms in it but those two people were teenage girls so don't worry well and one was one was colin and one was uh hope friend. But Hope's friend really did break her arm though, right? So they said they broke the arm and then they went back for a second time and the doctor was like, you know, I don't see the break here. So either she's Wolverine or the first doctor made a mistake

or the second doctor made a mistake. Well, next time a kid comes over, shoot it and we'll know for sure. If she heals right up, we'll know you guys are super good. I'm like, wait, what? Yeah, I see now. And get on top of that. That could be worth a lot of money. Hey, just for fun, if you have a neat team building event idea, post it on the subreddit.

And I would like to hear what you have to say. Maybe like in Mulan, you could have some sort of thing where they got to, like, climb a pole or something silly. I'm not climbing any poles. Get out of here. I'll make them mad. I love you. Okay, first of all, these are cis admin, like, people. Like, these are not athletes.

You got any Patels on staff? No. Patels on staff. No. One of the guys is 16, and he's never, he's from the UK. He hasn't left his country's from the uk he hasn't left his country before i think he hasn't left his country he's definitely never been to america so that's kind of neat yeah so how long are they saying how long will he be under your custody i suppose so he is going i have eight days with him we're having him come in a little earlier so that he's not jet lagging and ruined for the trip.

How nice of you. Yeah, everyone else. He's so nice. The original flight he booked for this individual was a month long. I made a mistake. It was a month long trip. I don't know if it was a month. Yeah, it was.

Where is he going to stay? Probably in Colin's room. Oh, he's coming right into the big house. Yeah, he's getting in the big house. In the big house? So here's the, I figured this is what I'm thinking. I'm thinking Chiz goes in the guest house and if Heather doesn't sleep over, one gets Colin's room and one gets the guest room. Because Chiz snores. So we'll stick him

in the guest house. Why is this Chiz snores thing? I don't snore. Oh, I thought you did. No, Kyle always brings it up. He lumps me in with you. I don't snore. Oh, I thought you did. No, Kyle always brings it up. He lumps me in with you. I don't snore. I've had surgery to correct this problem. I've had an accident with my noob and something in my nose removed. We were trying to divvy up rooms last time, and I just remember there were multiple snorers, and there was some effort to... There was confusion whether the snorers should be...

Yeah, and there was some confusion as to whether it was preferable to group the snores or just separate them completely from everyone and anyone else. And in the end, they had only gotten us the two rooms, and I wanted my own room. That's just... I gotta have my own room. I mean, I got to. Yeah, you need first class, you need your own room. You're just a little princess who needs all these flowers and comforts.

I don't think it's asking for much if you're going to fly me somewhere to work for you to provide me with a room of my own. It's not fucking Auschwitz. I don't want to be crammed in there nine deep or something. Just what he says to the people when they curse you.

Joe Lozon sleeps with other guys all the time. They go to these fighting tournaments or whatever. Not tournaments anymore. They don't do that. But when you're at the UFC, they get you a couple of rooms. When you're at one of the smaller shows or something, it's usually a bunch of guys piled into one room,

a bunch of guys sharing a bed. He jokes he's been sleeping with his friend Chris longer than he's been sleeping with his fiance. And so yeah, he didn't think twice of splitting a bed. I like it when he snores because in my head... It makes you feel safe. No, in my head, not that it matters because no one can keep score while they're sleeping, but I'm like, if he's snoring, I'm building up snoring credits right now if I snore later he should be thinking oh well that's okay because I snored earlier not that he

knows but on this trip tomorrow are we sharing a room or not it's fine either way I just don't remember sharing a room yeah I got it has two beds yeah you'll have to endure the Auschwitz situation of sharing a room with Woody after you just went off

on that. I'm going to bring my noise-canceling Bose headset, or parrot headset. Yeah, and I'm just going to be in my own world, listen to Game of Thrones or some peaceful, soothing sleep music, and I'll take some Ambien

and I'll be out like a light. Just enjoy your Ricky and Lucy situation there. So what time do you get in? Are you before me or after me? I think I don't fly until 3.40pm my time. I board here at 3.40pm so I'm imagining I get there at like 5,

6, something like that. That puts you before me because I board at 4.50pm Boston. Wow, you guys are late blokes. Yeah, but it's the same time as I mean it's like two hours. I think I arrive at 6.00pm Boston. Wow, you guys are late for flights. Yeah, but it's the same time zone. It's like two hours. I think I arrive at 6.00. Right, I was just saying you don't get in until 6.00 p.m. It's weird. I always take flights out of the morning, so it's weird.

Yeah, well. You usually hop on that Greyhound bus early in the morning and then just struggle across the country. Give me shit. I am taking the Greyhound bus to the Woody Craft team building. Well, now that I know you're writing a book about it, it makes sense. You're going to pass right by me. That'll be great.

I am. I'm going to. All right. So I got a choice this time because I don't just stop in Atlanta. I go to Raleigh, right? So there's two different ways I can go. I take the same path I took last time, which I am for the trip there. I'm familiar with it. I know the people in these bus stations and the gas stations we stop at where people are from drugs and other substances. So I'm taking that. On the way back, though, I go through Tennessee, a place I've never been before. And then we go through Oklahoma.

We pass Dallas and stuff. Do any of these selections offer Detroit? I would go to Detroit. It would be really hard to get me to go through Detroit. Taking a bus through Detroit must be like riding a Wild West I mean, I really wouldn't Make it maybe you don't I literally wouldn't bring my phone with me

I would find a really old beater and carry that with me going through Detroit that is sketch city Like I want to vlog these interesting people I meet on the buses with me But in the back of my head, there's always the fear of this dude Just grabbing my phone and fucking off with it, too. You know what you need? You need those sunglasses. Google Glass? They look like

sunglasses, but they've got a camera right in the middle. I had a pair. They didn't work for me, but I saw Richard Ryan using them the other day. They seemed to work for him, so I don't know. They're made in China. That would be cool if you could secretly record your conversation with someone. Maybe just your... It could be as simple as, like, taking your phone and, like...

No, like... If you put your phone... Do you guys have video? I don't have video for... I don't have video. Oh. I have video for Kyle. Do you?

Yeah. I've got video from you, Woody. I've got video from no one else and i can see myself but maybe you can put your front pocket with the camera facing out and you got it right there you know i've tried to do that there must be a way to turn the screen off because it glows yeah i tried to do that for like buying alcohol i was gonna like vlog it or something and uh the guy that worked there like recognized me and i was like oh this would have been interesting vlog but it's still an iPhone 6 hanging out.

It's a fucking 6 Plus hanging out in my front pocket too. The whole point is when I pull my phone out of the bus, I'm like MacGyver. I'm like, all right, done. Back in my pocket. I don't have time for them to realize what I own nearby. When I get off the bus, I carry everything with me, take my headphones off like this and go off the bus.

Nothing stays behind when you get off the bus. That's a good idea. The bus people will get it. They waste nothing. Oh, bus people. Like, they live there in perpetual agony. Yeah, always, just in a big loop, riding the Greyhound. Bus people don't fuck around.

I have to wait at that Atlantic Greyhound station for about two hours, and I didn't like that as much. All the activities. Think of the stories. Very straight up. Yeah, yeah, if I happen to be in town that day I'll swing by and laugh at you. I won't stop or anything though. I'm not crazy. Take the dune buggy. Well that's gonna be fun. That'll be that'll be an interesting little event. You'll have that guy staying there for for over a week and you'll have have how many people will you have there total

just four i think okay plus my family yeah yeah so eight total well that'll be good i'm trying to think of other team building uh stuff but it all seems too silly and hardcore you know right Woody just you and I well it's not an orgy but I'll still take it all right you want to call this show their wild card good show everyone yeah