Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #235

Episode Date: June 24, 2015

This week on PKA, Bobby Burns from the movie scene of the internet and Brand Sins join the guys to discuss and banter over movies, favorite directors, and to find what exactly is the prettiest vagina! So kick back, relax and enjoy....mic talk!

All right, Painkiller R-Ready, episode 235. We're live. This episode is, of course, being brought to you by Crunchyroll. So you want to head over to Crunchyroll.com, you want to sign up and register today to get in on our exclusive offer of Crunchyroll Premium, free for 30 days. That's right, Crunchyroll Premium for an entire month if you sign up using Crunchyroll.com slash PKA. That's how we pay to have me in such fine accommodations tonight. That's what that's how we pay to have me in such uh such fine accommodations tonight that's what that's about so kyle where oh by the way our guest is bobby burns bobby hello hello hello thank you for coming on i gotta say bobby's uh audio setup pretty sexy is anyone else feeling it right like you know just some beats headphones just a little mic. I swear, not only does the bass come through the headphone,

it comes through the mic. Yeah, man. There we go. Kyle, you're coming to us from, I was calling it hotel internet, but that doesn't look like a hotel, is it? It is a hotel. It's just a decent one, I guess. I'm in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

We're doing a gun show up here. The convention center is literally right out that window over there. I'm doing that tomorrow. They had me come up here to do kind of an appearance. I'm signing autographs and taking pictures and stuff for the next three days. They came down and picked me up in a private airplane today, which was cool. We've talked about it before, how

everyone promises a private airplane. So few deliver. these people totally delivered down pick me up and i was i went from georgia to pa in like an hour and 45 minutes i think i have been promised an airplane once maybe twice like i can't rattle them all off but i've been promised before you on the other hand like i want to say half a dozen times or more three or four for sure and you like you know and and today it was a very nice airplane don't get me wrong but it was a plane right so it's got props that turn on the side the thing's probably a million dollar plane i don't know i don't know about planes but it's not a jet and i've been offered jet rides before like yeah we'll come down in our 20 million

dollar plane and pick you up and i'm like doing the math in my head i'm like isn't that like 80 grand worth of you're about to burn i'll pick your ass up when i'd have flown first class for you know happily i don't know about this so yeah lots of times it's been promised um but this time they came through so that was cool i'd never been i'd been in small planes before but i don't know nobody's ever came and picked me up in one you know 10 minutes from my house and taking me somewhere the text conversation was great because i'm like you know show me pic so you're totally lying and she's just like i'm on a bus this is a real bus pic anybody want bus pictures

i almost texted him. I was actually flying over your house today, and I was like, I should ask him for some of those bus pics. But then I realized it might be misconstrued as being mean. But I really want bus pics. He sent a few bus pics. Did you see the bus pics? I saw one bus pic. It was just the frame of the front of the bus.

Right. Well, then I think I might be exaggerating with a few. But he sent a bus pic. I saw it was just you know the frame of the front of the bus Right well then I'm I think I might be exaggerating with a few, but he sent a bus pic I still have it open right here All these stupid plane pics here we are Coming in a little quiet for me Taylor. Yeah Like yell into that mic like you're angry at it. Let's test that. FUCK YOU, MIKE! Perfect!

Maintain that the whole time. And I'm not even kidding. That's the level you have to be at to even get up here where we are. Alright! I can feel the best part of Vince! I like angry Taylor. We've both seen Taylor situation. Oh,

so long. So, uh, we weren't sure like a hundred percent. I wasn't personally sure that, uh, you know, I almost pointed to myself,

but I have a knife in my hand. So I was like, you know, I wasn't a hundred percent sure that we were going to have a show. Um, cause Kyle was away and stuff, but, uh,

we'll go. Well, you guys know now how long the show turned out and i don't so that's yeah that's kind of a thing yeah there even is a show is a good thing i uh i i wasn't sure the hotel internet was shit as it always is uh i'm tethered to my phone so uh i don't know this is gonna cost me twelve dollars or something you're tethered to your phone right now yeah yeah it's not bad huh? It looks really good for phone internet. It does.

Alright, people, you wonder where the Patreon money went? Bam, here you are. 4G LTE. Kyle's cell phone plan. Cell phone. Go back. There's a bunch of topics that we got here in the chat that we go through. I like all the current event stuff.

We can talk to our guests some about what he does. So, Bobby, what do you got going on? What do you have going on? I might be coming to your speakers. Somebody? I don't know. Yeah, someone's coming to someone's speakers right now. Oh, okay.

Yeah, my voice is reflecting right back into my headphones is it yeah oh dude that's like that um what is the device called the speech jammer oh yeah what it does i'll get to just speak through speech jammer the whole podcast and we create a test of your voiceovers i'm launching a new channel actually um over the next month i mean i've already done a soft launch for it but it's basically a channel that is solely dedicated to movie trailer edits so i've done some videos like if frozen was a horror film or um if up was a horror film i've done star wars in the style of tarantino or incredibles the director by christopher nolan so those kind of things um and but this channel is going to be solely dedicated to those so i'm really really excited there's already been a soft launch um like two weeks ago but then the real launch will be

coming up in the next few weeks so it's gonna be really fun and talk about some of your other work you work um so i work i work with cinema sends i actually work for cinema sends i run their channel called brand sends um so it's basically what they do with cinema sends but with brands it's kind of like a slightly lower quality way shorter version of the john oliver show it's basically what they do with CinemaSins, but with brands. It's kind of like a slightly lower quality, way shorter version of the John Oliver show. It's basically kind of the way I look at it. So that's one of the shows I do. I worked on a series for the CinemaSins. What did you say?

I like that with the brands. Because there's tons of those. And I sit there and watch like a dozen, 20 of them. Oh, cool. That's awesome. How old are you, Bobby? I'm 18. 18, aha.

So do you have any training in this? Are you self-taught? Yeah, yeah. I started doing video work when I was 11. My dad taught me how to use like an old VHS camera. And then I just learned everything from YouTube. So I'm not planning on going to school after this because I have a full-time job working for CinemaSins right now

and then just YouTube. So that's pretty much the goal right now is just keep working through YouTube until I can get to directing features. That's pretty much the path right now. That's the ultimate goal, directing feature films, like legit, hour-and-a-half long. I mean, next month, well, actually, well, let's see.

How many, if my phone will. At 12 days, I'm going to shoot my first feature up in Buffalo. I'm going to be cinematographer on a feature that's going to be really awesome. It's written by one of my buddy's girlfriends, and he's directing it. We finished casting i think two weeks ago going through rehearsals right now it's gonna be it's gonna be really really fun is it a paid gig oh yeah awesome what are you shooting it on um it's black magic cinema 4k i've shot on just the black magic cinema i haven't used the 4k version of it yet so i'm

very interested in seeing what the differences are i I can't imagine it's much different than it. But it's going to be fun. It's going to be very run and gun, and I think we have 21 days to shoot the entire feature, so that's going to be fun to try to get that done. I think we're shooting six pages a day, so it's going to be quite busy. That's a lot, right? Because my understanding is a feature

six weeks would be kind of a common time. So you're going pretty much double pace. With people who have never actually shot a feature before. I don't think anyone who's there has ever actually completed a full feature. Well, I don't see what could go wrong, quite frankly. Exactly.

I mean, you learn a bunch of stuff. Oh definitely that's that's what i'm most excited about it's just gonna be just actually being in the middle of it having to solve problems as opposed to just what i do in this situation actually have that experience of being in there actually solving the problems all right that sounds cool i like that camera i thought about i'm sorry kyle did you want to go i was gonna ask ask him, has he always had a passion and love for film and movies in general? Yeah, for sure. The first movie that I ever saw

that I absolutely loved, don't judge me on this, Star Wars Episode 2, Attack of the Clones. When I was like 10 years old. No, no, no, I was 10, okay? I was 10 years old, and I saw Star Wars, and it was made me fall in love with movies now

it's Star Wars Attack of the Clones and I see what it is but that was for a 10 year old exactly exactly what it is and that movie made me fall in love with movies and definitely since then

I've just been it's pretty much but the main focus on my life is movies um is i on my main channel my bobby burns channels i do a lot of reviews and dissections of films um things like do you feel guilty for shitting all over them on cinema sins people's hard work exactly well the thing about CinemaSins is when you first glance at it, that's what it looks like. But it really is good-natured. It's just people joking about movies. Two-thirds of those sins are making something out of nothing. They're just mean.

Exactly. Exactly. But that's why it's funny. They'll have sins that don't contain a lap dance. It's just goofy stupid funny stuff i mean it's not there's it's probably like one third actual problems with the movie and then a bunch of other just random goofy shit on top of it um and and there's a lot of directors like kevin smith who's he loves cinema sense stuff like he he got in contact with them and they've been

talking to him and stuff like one of the guy who Jeremy runs CinemaSins wrote a book called The Ables and he actually, Kevin Smith, wrote the foreword to it because he loved their work so much. It's cool to see people who make stuff that they've even sinned come back to them and say, oh, that was hilarious because

almost all the movies that they're even sinning, they still like the movies. They're just making fun of them. Kind of Mystery Science Theater 2000. Oftentimes they outright say that at the beginning. Yeah, for sure. I like those videos. I really love movies.

So anything that's – one of my favorite things to do is sit around and just watch movie trailers. So when I see something like CinemaSins, I'm like, oh, this is extra content for me that otherwise just wouldn't exist. And I really dig that stuff. Yeah, especially now that they've expanded. I think it was last year they expanded from the videos used to be around two to three minutes. Now they're 18, 25-minute long videos. And so it's so much more content. Because before they would write a whole script, cut out 100 jokes,

and get down to the select few. And they were like, oh, we don't have to do that. People will enjoy it if the video is as long, and I don't think they saw any view drop. It's just people are there, they're hungry for that kind of content. I've noticed that about YouTube. So, for people

who don't know, YouTube has started rewarding with better ads and just better dollar per view for longer videos, right? So who used to make – there was a channel devoted to five-second films. Do you remember that? Mm-hmm. I can tell.

Yeah, let's – Taylor, just so you know, you're almost quiet. You got it, yes? It's five-second films, buddy. Thanks. And so a couple years ago, they made second films and it was great and and they really managed to tell a story in five seconds which is pretty impressive right you just like flash flash flash flash it was like early vine but actual good vine yeah but great vine and um youtube and the way they monetize now i mean shucks and a thousand views

for them is probably worth like 15 cents like they they really reward the long form stuff so a lot of people started making it but i was surprised to see that a lot of people started liking it you know i can see why video makers might want to go long form but I didn't know that video watchers would like it so much. And I didn't know that I would. I think kind of the gaming generation of people are making that where it's okay to do that on YouTube. They're getting so used to watching a 35-minute Minecraft playthrough that it's easy for them to watch a 5 or 10-minute vlog about something or something like that but i think four years ago that well there were some people who watched like you said a 35 minute minecraft playthrough but there were a lot of people who just wanted highlights like i don't know if you want to see that for sure for sure i'm

saying like back in back in the day for sure but like now it's to a point where there's so many huge gaming channels that are just these long ass 40 minute videos no cuts of them just playing that like i know my little brother he'll sit there for four hours and watch this guy play these long ass 40 minute videos, no cuts of them just playing that. Like I know my little brother, he'll sit there for four hours and watch this guy play Minecraft. And I'm like, why, why are you doing this?

You can go do that yourself, but it's kind of making it's opening. I think it's almost a good thing because it's making people be more willing to sit through long form stuff. And I think, especially in the movie industry, we're losing that a lot. Like I just watched Goodfellas again. That's my favorite movie of all time. And then I watched The Departed.

And just the difference in the way those two are edited, even though they're different movies, there's so many more memorable parts in Goodfellas than The Departed because they're longer, wider shots that you can see everything. You can absorb that information. I think what you're saying about the longer form content, it's making it where people are able to absorb the information

better, where they enjoy the people's personality and stuff that they're seeing on screen. Favorite director? Name somebody. Scorsese, definitely. Scorsese. Either Scorsese, it's between Scorsese. Either Scorsese, it's between Scorsese, Fincher, Nolan, or Tarantino.

Those are my top four. Tarantino is the one I was going to pull out. If Tarantino makes a film... I don't know any other directors. If Tarantino makes a film, I'm looking forward to it all I need to do is like if it's announced

he's taken on a project I wait years in anticipation like that yeah that's so excited yes yeah that was great and Django was amazing and almost everything he's made has been incredible in my mind and I love how under wraps he keeps stuff to up until right before it comes out like stuff will might accidentally leak but he doesn't promote the shit out I love how under wraps he keeps stuff up until right before it comes out.

Stuff might accidentally leak, but he doesn't promote the shit out and show you everything before you see the movie. I love that. That's so awesome. He only shoots in film, and I don't get that. I don't know why he's so anti-digital. He's definitely a film purist. He said he's only making two more films, I think, he said he's only making like two more films, I think, and then he's done.

But Scorsese's been saying that for the past 20 years. Tarantino said he was done after Django, too. Oh, really? I'm pretty sure.

Because he said once he was like 50-something years old he wasn't going to make movies anymore. He was like 49, I think. So he said

he doesn't want to become like Clint Eastwood, even though he loves Clint Eastwood movies, he doesn't want to become like Clint Eastwood, even though he loves Clint Eastwood, but he doesn't want to become Clint Eastwood, who makes decent and then bad. Like American Sniper? I was not a fan of American Sniper at all.

I just thought it was... Yeah, I just... I don't know, it's just... It was propaganda? I definitely felt like it was just... I definitely felt like it was propaganda-ish but that's not my problem with it because I've seen plenty of films that are propaganda-ish

films that I love I just thought that it was I don't know, I felt they could have done so much more with his character and focused more on his character than just the kind of extremely long kind of boring action scenes that they shot because there'd be so much people just running in dust and close-ups of the shaking

camera it does i just felt like they could have done way more with that than they did what about his brother the timeline with his brother like like where do we revisit that at any point you know he sees his brother and you see his brother's all gaunt and like and wasted away and he's just like crazy eyed and and and he's just like hey man what's wrong with you nothing nothing we never retouched that i was really expecting something to come up later and then there was just nothing yeah nothing there and the whole movie felt hollow it felt like it felt like that it felt like clint wanted that movie to be 30 minutes longer. The secondary story was still kind of there, but just the skeleton of it was left. I just didn't care for it.

I didn't like the editing. I felt like it was poorly edited, but I feel like my opinion doesn't matter enough when it's something that Clint signed off on. But I want to think, I'm not the stupid one here. That's just not a good movie. I don't get what it was nominated for. Did you guys see the fake rubber baby in the movie? I saw the... Yes.

Did you miss it? The fucking rubber baby. That was hilarious. And I heard the excuses for that, but I don't care. No. Nobody's got to get a baby. Like, nobody... You, anyone who had a baby

could bring in, at least a puppy would have been better than that. Like, just with puppies. Yeah, there's hundreds of people on set, and they can't find one person who has a good connection to a baby. They just put a fucking

cabin-patch kid in his hands and hope for the best. With a weird little green-screen hand that's just... There's weird laws that dictate how long a baby can work. It's like 30 minutes a day or something legit.

Like it's a big amount of time and it's expensive at that. Like, I don't know, maybe you're paying $400 a second or something. Use the damn baby fast. I think both babies fell through that they had, and they were babyless,

and they were up against some deadline or scheduling thing, but I didn't care about that excuse because it's like, no! No! This is a major motion film here, and it's not... It's a major, major motion film, if you know what I mean. Yeah, they had the budget to make it.

Babies fell through i heard something like oh tad's got the shits this morning now he's retarded and can't move his hand the right way like jesus christ get another baby how hard can it be tens commercial he doesn't need this shit anymore i want game of thrones to do the equivalent like you know there's a there's a scene that can it be? He doesn't need this shit anymore. I want Game of Thrones to do the equivalent. There's a scene that calls for a horse and it doesn't work out

so you get two guys in a zebra Halloween costume, like the big furry ones. They're just like, you know what? The horse fell through so we just came up with a fake horse. I didn't care for that film and I felt like fell through so we just came up with a fake horse. Yeah, that was I didn't care for that film and I felt like

I felt like everyone felt like they're supposed to like that film. Patriotic or something. Exactly. You felt like you were being anti-patriotic. I was just having a conversation with someone about this today that you felt like you were betraying your country

or something if you didn't like a movie. Those you know those patriotic overtones and i didn't think it was like propaganda because you see how much he suffers and how much struggles with his decisions that like i don't see how you could watch that and be like oh yeah i want to go be like chris kyle no you're like fuck that shit. I'll fucking shoot myself in the foot or something. I'm not going over there. His life's ruined. And after he gave everything he had, you know, some crazy shot him at a fucking shooting range or

some bullshit. So no, I don't want to be like him. I don't want to go through what he had to go through. So I didn't feel like it was propaganda. I just didn't feel like it was good. Dude, I gotta think. So, watch this video. I'm gonna share it with everyone I'm sure the formatting will be messed up I damn Mac alright it's loading up for me my OBS oh good it worked shit oh I've seen this this is really funny I

I disagree entirely so let's talk about it. Are we ready? I'm still loading, I apologize. I'm playing. Oh, we do like a 1, 2, 3, play. So we'll queue up at 0. Alright, I am queued up at 0. Do you think you have enough buffer? Should we play? Oh yeah, I have the speed fine, yeah. It's totally good. Alright, so I'm at 0. 3, Oh, yeah, I have the speed fine. Yeah, it's totally all right So I'm at zero three two one play

All right, she's eating some sort of tiny little Caterpillar type thing on a survival show hosted by Bear Grylls. I have his name, right? You did a strong job. How would you describe it? I wouldn't have said almonds. Okay. Oh dear, so did you swallow? Did you? Or did you spit it out? I swallowed the worm.

Interesting to note. Interesting to note. I'm impressed that you swallowed. I really am. He's so embarrassed. Is there anything else you'd like to say about that story that I worked very hard on for many hours?

What I would like to say... I'm just... I worship you. It's alright. All I want to say is it's very interesting to note that none of you were available for that shit that day. In reference to the caterpillar thing that she bit. And she didn't answer. She's not a good sport. And that's it.

I don't know. I was frustrated. I was like, that's your joke? Didn't she just make a joke back about hard ons did i miss it what was the joke back i don't have audio did you she said do you have anything else to ask about that story that i worked really hard on i if if that was intentional then it was more clever than i gave her credit for um yeah i did not i did not get a hard-on joke at all from that right i i just feel like pka is 50 times funnier than that

shit like we will tell actual jokes and not just yeah 50 i did the math on it Taylor And it's like It's just a hint Of a joke It's a hint of we almost said something Slightly risque And then they backed off And the whole internet is going bonkers over this thing I think it's just because it was on the news Like on television

If anyone else did that It would just be like no one fucking cares Yeah I saw that clip and i watched a few other ones from that same show and it seems like they kind of capitalize on making crass remarks where it's like oh it looks like this guy committed a bit of a boner and then everybody's about it and it's like okay all right see what you're doing but that seems to be this show's you know capitalization that they make little pseudo-sexual comments all the time under the auspice of being actually risque as what he did and it's really not that fun

i see that with youtubers that that lack any kind of range a lot they'll be like oh it's so funny when you like look straight at the camera and then they'll just do that like all the time forever and uh i that's what these guys they just a one trick pony show and and i'm just like i don't know it brought up the lame and i i felt like no one else was seeing it but me this is lame the way that she ate the the maggot or whatever that was like if you gave me that maggot and you told me I'll give you a free chipotle burrito if you eat this I wouldn't do that

I wouldn't need some grand incentivization to do that it was a quarter of an inch long teeny tiny after the first shoot it's just a bean, just think of it as a pinto bean, that's what it's going to taste like. It's mushy and bland and shitty.

The way they build those things up into something that they're not, I hate in every survival show, in everything. That whole Bear Grylls drinking his own piss thing, I actually did some research on it the other night for no reason, just because I was

thinking about what would actually happen if you drank your own pee. That's incredibly dangerous. That's an awful thing to tell people to do. Unless you're diabetic. Unless you're diabetic, and then it tastes kind of like Sprite. You can actually brew beer from their urine. There's so much sugar content in the diabetic person's urine. But if you're not diabetic and you drink a bunch of pee, you're not drinking

water, it just further distills that pee into a more toxic concoction. Like, there's a reason when you pee it out, it's yellow. It's because there's a bunch of toxins and nonsense that's in there that your body doesn't want. So when you reintroduce it, it's just distilling it further. So

by the end, you just have a shot of pure nastiness that your body can't handle yeah i don't think they may not actually do that in the show wasn't it fake no he drank the piss he actually did oh yeah he drank the piss like he made he's tells and shit but but he'll drink his own piss he doesn't care about that i know one survival expert um i don't even know him anyway he's to go off-roading with him. But he was a seer. Are you guys familiar with what a seer is?

I'm not. I'm going to mess it up. But it's like... They're yelling in my house. It's like search, escape, rescue, and something else. But basically, they teach downed pilots how to stay alive and avoid torture and stuff like that. Anyway, he says not to drink your pee.

Those are all the things your body doesn't want that it didn't get any value out of. Drinking your own pee is not good. It's a little like drinking seawater. It might seem good at first, but you're not doing yourself any favors. I don't even think drinking pee seems good at first.

The only reason I saw some British cunt do it on TV once. Well the first couple of glasses are rough, but after that... Have you ever eaten a bug, Taylor? Or anything like that? I've eaten ants when I was young. I ate a really big cricket one time, but it was like a fucked up cricket that had like really big nasty legs um but we were having a party at my house and all these we were trying to film something and uh and all these girls kept like there's a fucking bag just like making a really big deal as cricket and they were like yeah they were like encircling it like three girls crying like children about this cricket

and i and it was interrupted what we were doing and so so I just went over and grabbed the thing and just... Oh, you did it in two bites. That makes it way grosser, I think. I chewed it up and fucking spat it on the floor, and I was like, it's fucking dead now! And I shut him up. That's great. So I said, Jackie? Yes?

I'm like, you know, we're live. Are you yelling at the children? And she said, yes, I'm yelling at the children. And I'm like, just so you know, everyone's listening. And she goes, you tell them it's raining and he won't look for an umbrella. It's perfectly valid to yell at my children. She's doubling down on it. So she's walking the dogs outside.'s like three of them they're not

paying attention uh poor woman i worked her all day you want to talk about um some politics for a little while i guess uh donald trump announced his candidacy um which just so everyone knows just so everyone knows donald Trump's not a stupid person. He knows he's not going to be president. Everything that he's going to do this year while he campaigns is only to further his other interests in life, which is making money, really. He's making himself more popular, while you morons make a big deal out of the fact that he's running for president.

We all know he's not going to win. He knows he's not going to win. I think you mean us morons. No one's going to actually vote for Donald Trump. Some people will. But he went on some really racist tangent today. Something about Mexican rapists or something. I haven't heard

He was talking to an audience and I, shucks, I'm going to get this pretty close because I read it just recently. But he's like, you guys are good people. You're good people. They're not sending over people like you. They're not sending over people like you. They're not sending over people like you.

They're sending over their worst. These people are drug dealers. These people have problems and they bring those problems with them. These people have, they said one of the things and then he just throws in, and they're rapists. And then I imagine there's a few good ones mixed in too. That's what

he said. Why would you throw that in as an add-on comment? Like, the thing that you forged the comment ahead on? Like, and they don't, they double park! And they go to the checkout line and they take too long! And they're rapists! Like, just lead with them.

That's the smart maneuver. So I'm looking for the exact quote. Let me see. They're not sending us their finest people. It's people from countries other than Mexico also. We have drug dealers coming across. We have rapists. We have killers.

We have murderers. I mean, it's common sense. What do you think they're going to send? Their best people over? Their finest? No. i think this might be different than the other quote like he might be this is part of his like campaign stump speech where he's like it wasn't an off the cuff remark he's on this is him saying it to like on a like to a tv reporter. Oh, okay. It's different than the one I saw. This guy is doing kind of an anti... Sounds like Mexican, but he's saying it's not just Mexicans. Yeah, there's El Salvadoran rapists.

There's Honduran rapists. All kinds of Latin and Central American rapists. Those Chilean rapists hit you from behind. That's sprinkled across the whole continent. I don't know. I think he's just trying to be inflammatory he's trying to he wants more ratings for his next apprentice show or whatever the fuck that's all it is i don't fully understand the business model but i hear it a lot sorry mctaylor like like uh huckabee is one right Huckabee, I think he didn't run last time, but he like flirted with the idea of running,

if I remember it right, and then of course he did run, and he ran for longer than he was relevant, but he kept in it because it was raising his profile. Then he got a job at Fox News, and he enriched himself personally and became like a long-lasting national presence for the right. And I think Trump is also enriching himself personally. But I don't know how he gets people to fund this thing so that at the end of it, he can become a famous Republican spokesman of some sort.

I don't think that's what he wants. I think he just – he's kind of a media whore, right? Everything from – everything he does is built around that he wants attention because attention equals dollars we need a political change channel do we just for the sake of drawing attention himself he has no interest in being in politics he's making more money than he could as the president in his current job selling tier ties at Macy's like that's all he wants to do is promote himself. And it's a smart maneuver, if you're being honest.

If you have the money to get yourself in that race and pretend to be a real politician, then it's a smart way to promote your brand name. What non-politician would you like to be your president? A non-politician I'd like to be president? As I look at the field right now... Pete Furlong! As I look at the field right now, I was talking to my girlfriend about this, and we were talking about the possibility of Jeb Bush and a few other of those knuckleheads, and I was like, as much as I hate Hillary Clinton, I'd vote Hillary before Jeb Bush.

If it were Jeb Bush or Hillary Clinton, I think I gotta vote Hillary Clinton, and that just disgusts me. So I'd rather vote someone like, what's that? I wouldn't vote for any Bush or any Clinton. Like, we need a new name in the White House. We may as well have kings at this point with how many repeat names we have. And the more I listen to Jeb Bush clips on YouTube, the more I think he might actually be a legitimate retarded person. We talked about this on the show once before,

but apparently Republicans haven't won the presidency without a Nixon or a Bush on the ticket since like the 60s. Like it's a really long time. Because Bushes were on the tickets all the way through 1980, right? And then

so you got the two ones with the younger Bush and then you've got three terms with the older Bush and then you have some Clinton's in there but that's not what we're talking about before that Nixon was a president and then he Nixon got reelected even though his second term he only served a year or two so and then before that Nixon nixon was a vp so nixon and bush's have been the republican presidents for some stupid amount of time what about no public bush's were on that one he was the vp for reagan on the ticket not okay yeah yeah so uh yeah uh george bush's dad george H.W. Walker Bush was for people don't know. I think Taylor already does was the VP on both Reagan tickets.

So. So, yeah, it's getting to be a bit of a monarchy, it seems, you know, like it just passes down through the families for for an awful long time. Kyle Howard Stern for president. Maybe I'm struggling to come up no no fucking idiot no no but he's a moron no he's not a moron he's very clever no no he's so dude that guy would that guy's no so I was watching him interview a whore on roller skates today and I was like so all the whole roller wh horror yeah yeah so so here's the thing right when I was a kid people made a big deal out of um IQ right that was like a big thing who has the higher IQ you always wanted to have a higher IQ um when I was I guess probably in college or something this book called the bell curve came out if you're unfamiliar with the the bell curve it's

it's about the IQ curve, and it's distributed on a bell curve, which is this thing saying that, like, I'm gonna get my numbers wrong, but something like 87% of people are one standard deviation from the center, and then, you know, as you get towards the tails, it just gets to be very, if you're on that edge on the good side, then really good things happen for you.

It was all about IQ. I feel like that shifted now, I like it because everyone's like, really IQ? Do we give a fuck about IQ anymore? It seems like if you're good enough, then there are much, I don't know if I say better, but there's much too much more to life success,

whatever life success means to you than just IQ. There are plenty of smart people playing poker against each other, not doing shit in their life and not happy too much stock is put into IQ as a gauge of real life intelligence like so what you can solve a puzzle

pretty quick like I had to take my mom made me take a children's IQ test and I was like between 8 and 10 I think and then I didn't want to take the adult one because it either, first of all, makes you an arrogant cunt if you do better than you think, or it makes you set imaginary limitations for yourself if you score lower than you think. There are no benefits to taking it, and it's not an accurate representation of intelligence. And

so much of intelligence has to do with your ability to communicate your ability to convince things like that that aren't properly evaluated in those tests like the stanford benet or the weschler intelligence scale for children things like that there are people out there right i'm sorry i thought i hit you at the end of it um like like so there are people out there who could just kick my ass in Go or chess or whatever your IQ competition of choice is. And they're not successful in love. They're not successful in their careers. They're not just happy people. Things aren't going well for them in spite of their awesome –

The happier you are. I'm sorry? The stupider you are, the happier you are. Think about this. Every smart person you've ever met, every truly smart person you've ever met, at the heart of them, they're a very unhappy person. They're very unsatisfied because they're able to look around them

and see all the problems that surround them in the world, in their communities, in their own personal lives. They can kind of look at themselves in the mirror and they can give an intelligent and accurate representation, and it saddens them. Well, maybe I'm happy to be dumb then. I don't know. I'm on kind of a hot streak right now, and this whole dumber you are, the happier you are, I don't know.

When it comes to success, Taylor was pointing out what I've heard called EQ, right? Your emotional quotient. Your ability to connect with other people, persuade, convince, and just enjoy. Persuade and convince sounds like it's the keys to manipulation and becoming some sort of cult leader or dirty salesman. There's just straight up getting along with people and enjoying company that also comes from EQ. And then, you know, there's some other guy who's ridiculously successful in life and he owns a

landscaping company and he's doing great professionally. Like he's earning a lot of money. It doesn't take a lot of intelligence to do what he does, but he's out there. Elbow grease, nose of the rhinestone. And, and he comes home to a loving family who appreciates what he's,

he's up to. And like, there's a lot of success and IQ. I'm just like, you know what?'s up to. And, like, there's a lot of success. And IQ, I'm just like, you know what? Fuck your IQ. Like, I don't give a shit anymore. There's way better ways to measure a person and what they have to offer. I feel like what Kyle was saying of smart people are generally unhappy.

I feel like that's a fallacy insofar as people who really want to believe that they're smart use that as a rationalization for why they're unhappy saying oh you know if i were a little dumber i could reconcile all the things that i see in this world but i'm just too smart it's about this example though how many people have you seen that you think to yourself if i were that person i'd just be i'd just kill myself I'd be crying myself to sleep. I could exist as this person, but you look at him and I know some oh They're having a ball over there yucking it up live in their life You know let's I don't want anybody, but you look at him, and you're like I could I would live like that I'd have someone beat down like like Exist in that skin and yet you look at that

person they're over there just fucking having a slurpee just yucking it up and having a great day and just not a care in the world they don't care about the fucking environment they don't care what's going on in Libya they don't give a shit they got their green apple slurpee and that's all that matters the people that

that I'm thinking green apple slurpee sounds incredible that I'm thinking of. The extent of their worries. Green Apple Slurpee sounds incredible. Maybe I'm one of these people. He's actually just describing you the entire time. Yeah, right? This whole conversation has been about me. Like, oh my God, imagine that. Imagine how that sucks.

And I'm like. I'm imagining like... every person you've ever seen at a Walmart. I'm imagining... You go to people at Walmart. I'm talking about those people right there that I see every time I go out somewhere. And you know... Places like Jeremy's Wedding.

Jeremy's Wedding! Can we talk about Jeremy's Wedding? You know we can! Those were some really really funny pictures, Kyle. Those were great. So I went to my friend jeremy's wedding and uh and i'm not gonna i'm not gonna be too harsh uh about any uh about anything and everything that went down kyle it was so entertaining what can you give the 30 seconds on who jeremy is for bobby please yes of course um jeremy used to work for me he uh sort of did odd jobs here and there and really anything

i needed of him he's about 21 22 years old he's uh he's a big country strong strong guy he's he's kind of dumb when it comes back getting stuff done you like if you were to tell him to go like do three things he'd fuck up all three of those things you'd repair the thing that he was working on at step one like he's a real real fuck up he also working on at step one. Like he's a real, real fuck up. He also has – He's kind of dumb. He's super dumb. Maybe.

He would kick my ass, I think. But – So the guy is getting married and I'll just – He's getting wedding. He's getting wedding. He's getting wedding. Yes. Oh, those other people are so dumb, aren't they, Kyle?

So his wedding is coming up, and I know it's going to be a pretty ridiculous affair because he's a redneck. He's everything that you think of when you think of a redneck, and he'd happily tell you that. And I knew going in that it was a cowboy-themed wedding. All the groomsmen are wearing black cowboy hats and black shirts. And we're doing it in a park by a waterfall. And I don't think we notified anyone or reserved the space because there's like tourists milling around. And we're sitting up here. I was the best dressed person at the wedding, period. Including the groom?

Yes. I can't including the groom? yes I wore pretty much the same thing I wore to Joe Lozon's wedding except I wore some different slacks they were like, they were kind of tan khaki-ish colored slacks and I wore a different tie

I think I was actually technically better dressed than when I went to Joe's wedding but I couldn't see myself wearing jeans to a wedding and that's what they told me to do I got there, there's a guy wearing a graphic tee flip-flops like these drinking a dr pepper while bride is coming down the aisle i swear to god there's no music there's no music you can't hear the service that's being performed by this really fat lady who looks like she's dressed for the dollar store. I don't know. Just the way the people were dressed.

Everyone was very, very underdressed, except for the groomsmen who looked like, I don't know, like they were about to have a gunfight at the OK Corral or something. They're all dressed all about this. They're all characters of what liberals want to believe conservatives are. That sounds like everything outside about 10 minutes outside of Nashville. That's pretty much everything around there.

One of the pictures Kyle sent, there was, in the same shot, a lady wearing jorts and flip-flops. There was stars and bars on his shirt, like a Confederate flag. That's a normal thing to wear

when you're not in 1864. The best man had a stars and bars belt buckle on. Fucking big. Oh my god. It was really fun. I was laughing on the inside the whole time.

At the end he had a big tip jar to throw cash in. So I threw him a good amount of money. I think that was for the honeymoon. Let me tell you a short story. Did someone make fun of you for your outfit? Jeremy himself, he was like, you're way overdressed. I was like, you're just dressed like a fucking clown.

I came here knowing that I would be overdressed. I didn't know I'd be the best dressed. And if anyone shows up, I don't want to be the guy at the wedding wearing flip-flops. I don't want that to ever be said of me. So I was going to wear fucking dress shoes. I was at least dressed up like you're going to Sunday school, Jeremy. Try to put it in terms he'd understand.

It's like, whatever. But in the end, he married a very pretty girl. They had their baby there. It was a touching moment. They got married. They got hitched. And I think they're going to be happy together. So that's good.

The night before, however, this is what happened. It's 2 in the morning. And my phone goes off. And I don't normally get messages at 2 in the morning anymore. So I check this thing, I look up and it's my friend Chris who lives near my father's farm. He goes, someone just went down your dad's driveway and they haven't came out yet. And people have stolen stuff from my dad before. They've gone down there and stolen a few things. So he's got cameras and lights and he generally tries to patrol

the thing at night occasionally so i immediately call my dad i'm like hey somebody just went down the driveway the hammock came out need to get over there take the ar-15 blah blah blah he's just like yeah all right i'm going i'm going so i'm like well tell me what happens you know when you get out of there so are you going to at this point no no i'm too far away he's he's two minutes away and i'm 20 minutes away okay so he uh so he calls me back after he's gone down there or whatever. He's like, I got down there, and it's fucking Jeremy changing his brake shoes for the honeymoon. It's 2 a.m., technically the day of his wedding, and he's changing the brake shoes to go on his honeymoon.

So dad's up there fucking ready to take him out. It was pretty fun. That's great guys so yeah that was one of the most ridiculous and it was cool because i told you i i had never been to a wedding before other than when i was a kid so going to joe's wedding joe's wedding is pretty much what you see in movies or television it was everything i felt like was done appropriately i'll just put it that way very nice wedding i enjoyed I enjoyed myself, and I felt like everything was done well. You know, once they said, I do, there must have been 20 or 30 people who were on Joe's dime,

like, getting to work, doing stuff. But it just wasn't the case when I got to Jeremy's, so I guess I got to see both aspects of the spectrum. I really like Joe's wedding. I like Jeremy's better, as far as, like, the fun. I was laughing on the inside. What I liked about Joe's wedding was I liked the two families so I actually knew a lot of Joe's friends. I was surprised how like clued in I was.

Like I knew all of his best men. I knew a lot of the people that weren't best men. I knew I feel like I knew 80% of Joe's guy friends and I had met his parents before and stuff. I was like, wow, I didn't realize that I was as integrated, you know, I don't know what else to say, but I didn't know as many of Katie's friends and Katie's family and they were really great. And I'm just, I involve this thing up judging and they're coming out well on my evaluation. And I, I think they'll have a

great life so that that was what i like so much about it i was like this is a really good setup they got here touching moment there when they're uh when joe and uh his wife are dancing and and he's got his little uh joey there and uh it was just really it was really touching it was really nice i told him afterwards i was like i can really tell you guys are happy together i was like this is this is wonderful i feel really great for you you. This is great that that's the work Those are the words I felt really great for him like I I don't want to go on forever about Joe's wedding I'm not sure it's a group funny topic, but it I just died Joe What a guy I?

Felt great for Joe. I'm I feel like he's made a really good decision. He picked a good one and That's that's cool. Bobby, are you into gaming at all? Just a little bit. My brother is really into gaming. But yeah, I do play a little bit. What do you play? I was a big Halo fan.

And then there hasn't been a Halo game in like two years. Played a lot of Skyrim. I played some of The Last of Us, which is like, I think that's the fucking coolest game I've ever played. I thought it was fucking beautiful. I haven't played that yet. Dude, it is fantastic. It's like playing a movie.

Is it a PS4 exclusive? I think it's a PlayStation exclusive, but I'm not totally sure. Okay, that's fine then. I've got an Xbox One and I play a lot of stuff on the PC now. I used to do everything on an Xbox and, I don't know, maybe the last two years I've slowly made the transition to PC

and I just love it. I used to play nothing but first-person shooters. I really wanted the fast-twitch, competitive I-got-you-motherfucker kind of gameplay, but these days, I really like to really just sit back zone out play a strategy game i play a lot of a game called civilization we're not going to get into a whole civilization

subject here because like every last week we had like the best civ player in the world on and so we went on for like an hour about it so i play a lot of civilization 5 that's that that's that's my game is anyone else enjoying the maturation of kyle like this is so we've been on youtube for a long time bobby i'm not sure how familiar with our stuff but i started in 19 no it would be 2009 i'm about to say um yeah youtube i'm totally full of shit i started in the 80s no there's uh the nine i was going for was 2009 is when I when I started my channel and even before then I watched a lot but uh so people who like have watched me have like seen my life evolve uh and and the people who have an interest in my stuff like I've seen them change right the the the middle schooler they used to all fuss at me about is now in college and uh and I think that's really a neat thing. Anyway, I've known Kyle since the start.

And now he's like, you know what? People don't really call me at 2 a.m. anymore. Those days are over. It's just because I'm not fucking as many whores. That's all it is. I know, but that's part of the process. Kyle has matured. And just like a month and a half ago,

he was shooting a potato gun in his house And catching snakes on a whim He is not Dude I would do that I would do that I don't know it's a few different things have changed I don't know my tastes and a lot of things Have changed I guess

But I'm still a child So am I I'm 42 years old And I'm as immature as fuck like your sense of self doesn't change at all but you do change a bit right like you know the things about you you like it you evolve and you're like well i'm i guess i'm smarter i avoid some of the terrible decisions i used to make yeah you know that like thinking before doing that that's that's part of the process kyle is maturing he doesn maturing, he doesn't want to see it And there's still that immature streak

In him that exists in all of us But, yeah I have an inner thought process You're not fully matured So just hold on to that As your last bastion of I had this So so here let me think we're doing a um a team building thing it's next week and uh and i'm really looking forward to this

and one of the people that works for us heather people know heather she's had a rough go of it lately her father-in-law died and this is my thought process it somehow it seems to tie into immaturity it was like ah her father-in-law died and she really cared about him. So she's had some rough days and weeks. And I'm like, I wish there was something I could do, maybe as part of this event, to reward that. And then it pops into my head like, hey, we could have a who has the deadest father-in-law competition or something. Like, nah. I totally kick her ass at that. Like, my father-in-law's way deader

Him out in the year 3000 he'd still fucking be dead that's how We could rewind a couple years still dead father-in-law get on my level. I just your dad Mine was dead So but I don't know somehow like yeah your sense of self and your thought process like it Your dad's dad is why mine was dad. Fuck off. But I don't know. Somehow, yeah, your sense of self and your thought process, you don't think it changes at all. That's an example of me being an idiot.

It still happens all the time. How long have you guys been doing your podcast? The podcast? 15 years. 15 years. Yeah, yeah. We started back on iTunes in the 1930s I want to say 5 years does that sound right?

so it is this, this is 235 35 so we do an episode a week obviously there's weeks that missed in the middles but you know 4 or 5 years that's crazy so if we've missed 10 episodes then the 5 year anniversary would be right around 240-something.

So it must be getting close. I'm sure the super fans know. They keep track of that weird shit that I never – There are people who know way more about this show than me. Way more amount of shit. On the Reddit, people will be like, hey, what was that time that Taylor blinked oddly for three seconds? That was 1.38, two hours and nine minutes in. It all began at 2.11.

And like, people are going to come and crack people at the show. So I read today that originally they had cast Tom Cruise as Tony Stark instead of Robert Downey Jr. Tom Cruise as Tony Stark instead of Robert Downey Jr. And that one of the things that made the talk completely fall apart is that Cruise was unrelenting on his request that his face be visible at all times as Iron Man. Which is. In the most reasonable. Where most of his visibility was like shown from the inside.

Yeah. Where looking at weird graphs and he's like, Stephanie, or whatever his computer made, pull up the algorithm on bullets or whatever the hell. What did you guys think about the new Avengers movie? I thought it was a step behind.

Go ahead, Woody. I would happily get to that topic, but I was just thinking it occurred to me when he did was it The End of Tomorrow or what was that movie called? Edge of Tomorrow. The Edge of Tomorrow one of the like by battle by take two of that

thing his face shield broke so you could see his face for the rest of the movie like everyone else went in there with like a big mask some sort of protective gear and he heads like you know oh coinc, coincidentally, the second he touches down on the sand, you can see his total face.

He's so badass that he doesn't even need a helmet. He's just karate chopping aliens. He doesn't care. Karate chopping aliens. The New Avengers, I liked it, but it wasn't good enough to get me excited for the next one. Like, it didn't lose me I liked it, but it wasn't good enough to get me excited for the next one.

Like, it didn't lose me as a fan. But somehow I was just like, you know what? That was good. But I walked away from the first Avengers thinking, we are in a golden age of cinema right now. Like, this is some of the – I think if you take the last, like, 10, 15 years in movies, you could get a lot of the best movies ever made. And some of the classics that they talk about from whatever the silver screen days, wouldn't do that well today.

If you look at the actors in it, if you look at the plots, it's simple, predictable, et cetera. Sixth Sense to me, which I know is probably older than 15 years, I think. But that movie is as good as any movie that's ever been made. And it's just one of the good ones nowadays. It's been long enough now where it's kind of become its own classic.

Perhaps. But I watched the new Avengers and I was like, oh, this was a good movie. But I just don't think it goes down as one of the all-time greats. No gold star. No gold star for this one. I'm still excited for the Civil War movie. You'll get to see a different version of

Tony Stark. He's going to have to be. He's going to be at odds with Captain America. We'll see how that goes. Did anybody watch Jurassic Park? Just watched it last night. I haven't seen it either. It's like the whole thing is kind of like eh.

Problem with it. I read that only one dinosaur is ever killed by direct human action in any of those movies, and it's in Jurassic Park 3, I think, where some kid does a spin kick. And I was like, wait a minute, that's right. They don't kill dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. So you're asking me to go watch two hours and three minutes of Chris Pratt running from and or chasing dinosaurs. But there will never be the payoff I want, which is Chris Pratt fucking kicking a door down in like 12 gauge, like three raptors. Dinosaur blood like going everywhere.

I want the T-Rex to get like lit up with a 50 caliber machine gun. And you're seeing impacts and you're just like and just fucking dies. I want dinosaur death.Rex to get lit up with a.50 caliber machine gun and you're seeing impacts and he's just like and just fucking dies. I want dinosaur death. That's the movie. And they always have weird cop-outs in those movies where it's just another dinosaur kills the dinosaur. Well, did you see it?

I haven't seen it. I'm just basing it on the first, second, and third one. Well, you just called the ending to the movie. So. Like, no people are going to kill dinosaurs in this movie like know that going in because that ruins it i haven't seen it but let me guess the end they're somewhat cornered by the evil dinosaur velociraptors whatever and then in a moment of desperate attempt they do something to try and kill it. It fails. And then through the bushes,

bursts forth the other dinosaur that they saw 40 minutes ago in the film, and it eats the other ones, and then that music goes, and they survive. Is that it? It's almost exactly that. It's a big, a little velociraptor

jumps on top of it. But it's a team of velociraptors right a one velociraptor jumps on top of it a t-rex comes out and starts fighting it and then the giant one in the water grabs it and pulls when you actually say it out loud it's really fucking stupid it's a really stupid dino tag team that's what you're talking about and then the worst part about it is they do that and then all the diner stores look at each other like they're like yeah and then they walk away from each other they don't try to they don't get to try to eat each other they're just like good job and just leave they're very introspective

see i i wasn't interested in jurassic park but from any of this stuff, like nothing at no point since I heard it was announced was I interested in it. I just don't care at all about that. I could tell it's going to be bad. It's not going to be bad. It won't be a bad movie. It'll be a good movie, but it's not going to be a good movie for me.

I'm not going to like that. I want something dark and edgy, and I want the characters to seem real, and if there's going to be a romance or some secondary plot line, they better earn it. It better be good. Yes. No, I'm's going to be a romance or some some secondary plot line they better earn it better be good yes no i'm not gonna get like chris pratt is the new will smith right like anytime he chooses to do a film it's going to be a blockbuster hit people will just go to see it because he's in it definitely i mean it's the highest grossing movie like opening weekend of

all time now well they can't thank you they started counting at Thursday at 7pm. That doesn't seem fair to me. Oh, really? Isn't that what they normally do, though? Yeah. I'm with Bobby on this one. Yeah, I think that's what they do now. I'm pretty sure. How do you compare it to Titanic?

I doubt Titanic started Thursday at 7pm. You go pretty old school. Why don't you compare the money anyway because of inflation and the increased ticket price? I pay $42 when I go to IMAX for two people. I used to pay $16. I think you compare the money so that you can look good compared to previous tickets. I agree with what Woody was saying. It was probably like a year ago where Woody was saying that you want to see Chris Pratt succeed.

Like he's the kind of person that you want to see do well because he's funny. He's likable. The interviews you watch with him, you can see he's a genuinely funny, nice guy. And so people want to go see those movies for no other reason than to support his ventures. And so I think he'll continue to succeed with whatever he does. Speaking of Chris Pratt, I feel like they are rebooting Indiana Jones. I think that's happening. They announced that. Of the big stars right now that could potentially play him,

Chris Pratt would be someone I'd be like, okay, yeah, do that, because he already has that kind of Harrison Ford personality on screen that he had when he was Han Solo. Not necessarily Indiana Jones, but if they're going to reboot Indiana Jones, you know they're going to do it in the very PC, PG-13 way that is acceptable now for audiences. They got away with so much stuff in the original Indiana Jones that they would never do in a PG-13 movie. Now, with the really intense, the faces melting,

straight up showing that stuff, they can't get away with that now. As far as in a PG-13 movie, and they're definitely not going to make an R-rated Indiana Jones movie. I think it would be the safe choice for doing an Indiana Jones. Who else could be a choice? What be the safe choice for doing Indiana Jones.

Who else could be a choice? What about the guy, Mad Max? Is that Carl Urban? Oh. No, the actual guy. Tom Hardy. Tom Hardy. Now, he would be awesome for a gritty, realistic Indiana Jones.

That would be fucking fantastic. Yeah, that's what I want. I really liked Mad Max. Me too. That's the best movie I think I've seen in maybe, probably this year. I don't know. Oh, absolutely this year, if not the previous year too. Like, that's my favorite movie in a long time.

Ever since it was pointed out to me how much Nook looks like Joe Lozon, I just think of him as Joe Lozon's character. Like, that was the Joe Lozon of the film. You know, he's some looks like Joe Lozon. I just think of him as Joe Lozon's character. That was the Joe Lozon of the film. He's some sort of warrior, etc. Joe was in that movie. Does Joe Lozon name his cauliflower ears?

That was great. I loved all the bullshit. Getting shiny and all that stuff. I told Woody on Amazon, under the product reviews on Chrome Paint, it's like tons of people talking about war boys and stuff that relates to the film. It's really funny. They're all talking about getting shot. They just did such a good job at building out the mythology of that world with quick

little sentences like that. And then you could- Sentences. Like most of the world was flat fleshed out visually yeah like you could just tell what was happening you didn't you didn't need to be spoon-fed with narration everything else happened you could just see it or someone would say like you were saying the the shiny those something in Valhalla or whatever and then you would get that there's that whole religion based off that like you understand that you don't need to be spoon-fed yeah you got the altar to the V8. V8 is four fingers and a V. It's very neat. I like the

you know, they were milking those women for their titty milk. Everyone likes that. Hydroponics they had set up. I really dug that movie. Oh, I want to see Martian. Ah, yeah. I'm excited for that too. I feel like that's going to be good. They've got a great cast on board Who's directing that?

Ridley Scott I think There you go That's going to be an 8.5 out of 10 Has she directed anything? I don't know what her other movies are Ridley Scott That's a guy It's the director of Alien

Gladiator Huge fantastic movies. He also did Prometheus. Who was the actor in Alien? The actress, I should say. Oh, Ripley. No, the character of Ripley, but it's Sigourney Weaver. Sigourney Weaver.

For some reason, I thought her name. Yeah, messing up names is my thing. Yeah, I heard that. I heard his name. immediately thought alien and i immediately thought he or she played the lead you'd like alien or better i'm sorry alien or what alien or aliens um i think aliens just because and they're totally two totally different kind of movies. That's why I ask. Aliens for me. As far as re-watchability,

I think Aliens is just more fun. But Alien is great. It's such a great slow burn to the payoffs with the actual when you actually see the creatures. Sometimes when I see a scary movie, I put myself in that situation. And I think, what would I do? How would I handle this?

And mostly, I'd be flipping fine. Totally fine. These people in this scary situation are making terrible decisions and they deserve whatever the fuck they get. But in Aliens, I'm like, they're all more badass than me. They're all in a heap of trouble.

Oh my goodness, where's the popcorn like that movie and i like that about that so you know when they're in this the thing's dripping and there's the acid saliva they're breaking through in the vents and and the guy's like oh my god we're gonna die i'm like yeah i don't think it looked good for you over yeah i came over i so i love the first one i feel like you got so much um there's there's like there's sort of this undertone of rape that suggested it suggested that this this thing is is raping the uh the one lady huh nothing continue and uh and and there's just so much fear for this thing i saw one re-edit or not a re-edit but sort of a fan point of view where they suggested that the alien isn't a bad guy he's a scared creature lost and on the spaceship and he's only trying to defend his

best friend best and only friend in the world that orange cat of of uh of ripley because the every time he kills it's in defense of the cat ifley. Because every time he kills, it's in defense of the cat, if you pay attention. Every time he gets all riled up and goes after someone, they were trying to fuck with the cat. In every single situation, the cat's there trying to defend him. Alright, so

think back. There's the one scene where he comes down from the chains and he kills that old guy and takes him up in the chains. The guy loses his baseball cap. He was trying to catch the cat. Then you go back to the scene with the black guy and the young lady with the short haircut when there's sort of the implied rape. Cat's there again.

Every single time the cat's there. And then on the spaceship, once again, the cat's there. Every time. Of course, the cat was the main character, so that could just be a coincidence. But I think if I have to pick, it's Aliens. But just because of what you said, the rewatchability, because the first one is sort of a horror film.

It really relies heavily, kind of like Jaws does, on anticipation and what's in the shadows. And once you know what's coming, a little bit of that is lost. But Aliens is just non-stop sort of redefined what a fucking space action movie should be space marines all that stuff i'm really really really

excited about next alien movie with uh what's his name neil blonkencock or whatever neil blonk thank you i like blonkencock better i going to stick with that. Blonk and Cock. I mean, Chappie sucked, but that doesn't take anything away from his work to me. I like what he does with visual effects. I like how he makes everything really shiny. If you look at Elysium and what was the other? District 9. District 9. You can see his version of special effects is a bit unique.

It's a little bit different than what others do. So with Chappie, I just re-watched chappy again today and there are a lot of parts that i really like overall it's not that great but i think he was doing something in that that isn't really done a lot because anytime there's the robot it's always really focused on what is it to be a human and it's very philosophical and in this film took a totally different approach with i mean there was that stuff was sprinkled in but like i'm a fan of diane ford which is the the ninja and yolande which are the two actors who already played the gangsters so i'm kind of biased in that in that regard but i liked how they he just

did something different than than what you expected when you were going into it. I agree. Do you have a ceiling fan blowing on your mic? I can't solve this. I hear it. It's not bad. It's just me. There's a refrigerator

over there that's making a small amount of noise. Let me know if it's me real quick. Dude, i am an expert in your mic the sure sm7b and i'm totally confident that it's not picking up a refrigerator from across the hotel we bring him back like talk everyone if there's a beautiful thing about kyle's mic it's that like you need your hand your your mouth a fist distance from it, and you sound great. If you slouch or don't do it right, then they get hard.

So you're saying if I'm back here, it doesn't sound as wonderful as it does if I get up close and personal. The difference is huge, and I'm going to do the same thing. I'm going to go here, and then I'm going to go back like he did, and I think you'll find the difference exists, but it's not like Kyle's just was. Mic Talk, oh my

God. What did I say, Mike? What are your thoughts on kind of edging their way into feature film territory? I see that they got I know it's called War Machine. Whose picture is that? Brad Pitt? Wait, who's edging?

So Netflix is making Brad Pitt's next movie. It's called War Machine. Oh. It's going to be straight? Okay, so Netflix is making Brad Pitt's next movie. It's called War Machine. Oh. It's going to be straight to fucking Netflix. Like, it's a Brad Pitt action movie, but it's not coming out in theaters. It's going to Netflix. It's Brad Pitt? Yeah. Wow.

That's a huge step for Netflix. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like Netflix is right there there with hbo like would you be shocked if you know hbo landed a big person in one of their specials detectives i want it like so so hbo did true detectives right they had matthew mcconaughey and woody harrelson true detectives was my favorite yeah i think that's my favorite miniseries that's come out since Band of Brothers. I think that's my favorite miniseries.

It's incredible. You've got very good taste liking Band of Brothers. Yes, Band of Brothers is incredible. So HBO can do it. I feel like Netflix is completely their peer. And if they land an A-lister, then yeah, no big deal. But I think Brad Pitt is a much bigger deal than Matthew McConaughey because Matthew McConaughey is accepted critically,

but as far as box office, Brad Pitt blows him out of the water. You're right. I just think that's crazy. But I mean, he has done some smaller stuff. Did you see Killing Them Softly? Yeah, yeah, I did. He did a smaller film, which was interesting. I thought his role, I thought he did a smaller film which was interesting I thought his role I thought he was

strong in his role but I felt like um what's his name um that from Goodfellas um oh Ray Liotta right I felt like Ray Liotta was weak I felt like he was weak and and and not and even worse than weak I felt like he was trying to like like bring back a little bit of his Goodfellas character instead of fleshing out a whole new one. And it felt... It was kind of cringeworthy for me. I watched the whole film... It's in the accent a little bit.

From Goodfellas. The way he was talking. Yeah. I feel like if James Gandolfini had done some other work where he did another gangster, a period piece especially, if he's a 30s gangster, he wouldn't come out sounding like Tony Soprano. He'd go and do the work, and he wouldn't sound like the same guy.

Of course, I'm probably being too judgmental on a guy that's won a ton of awards. I want to squeeze something in. It is possible that my power will go out and the show will end. Do you have a storm? I can hear it. Yeah, we have a rocking storm right now. So I just want to throw that out there. If the call ends and I don't come back, then you'll know why.

Yeah, well, and we can all point out that he should have gotten that generator. Yeah, right? It was so expensive. I feel like, so I guess you guys wouldn't know, but things that you... Like, I don't know. If you wanted to rent a hall, right? It'd be like, yeah, yeah, you know, whatever, two, three grand, you rent the hall. But if you say, I'm renting a hall for a wedding, they're like, oh, I see this fucker coming. Eight grand. That's how I feel like with my house right now. Like, people just walk through it, and on the other side, the estimates we get are like,

ah, 15 grand, 30 grand for 30 grand for a backup generator. Are you fucking with me? I believe you. I think that I definitely think that's true about your house. But compounding that is the fact that anyone who comes to your house to do work hits you so high anyway. Like, I don't feel like my house is is is something's gonna blow anybody away when they get there But when they came to give us an estimate on our AC it was $15,000 to put in a new AC system. That's what that's what they told Kitty and it's just it's absurd Super did you guys do it yet?

I think she I don't even want to I'll tell you later. I think that thing got fixed. It was $80 she i don't even want to i'll tell you later i that thing got fixed it was 80 it's it was it was very frustrated because we'd gotten the first opinion it was like 15 000 and replaced the unit and i was like fuck this shit if it's 15 i'll pay it let's just do it let's just do it now i'll do it now like i'll pay 15 if it means ac and uh and the guy gets there and he's just like he was a fan of me so he was he was completely up front and cool with me. He was like, I fixed your problem, went outside and opened it up and, and it was, it was good.

He's like, I ain't gonna charge you at service. There you go. Right. $75 fucking dollars. Like we were both so upset at, at ourselves for like believing the first guy and not immediately getting a second opinion that like we,

we haven't talked about it since. And this is the first time I've talked about it since I got there i it was it's dude that's i'm well i you know i'm so happy for you that you learned the life lesson and it didn't cost you anything like yeah i didn't pay that motherfucker 15 grand ah like i that would have really upset me that would have really upset me if i'd gotten scammed we got an off-brand so our air conditioner and heater is one unit at the apex house and uh it must be 12 years old now but when we got it every people would come by and they'd be like i never heard of no like calvin system or whatever it's called. I'm like, I don't know. They told me it was like

computers where the same people make the insides on all of them. But it's been 12 years. We never had an issue. Still works. Made a good call. That's good. This guy, Repairman, any contractor really will try to

fuck you in the ass. I guess that's a bit of education for anyone out there who's maybe going to get a home. I know Duct Tape Man, our super fan from the subreddit and from our events, he's getting himself a house. I hope he took my advice on the inspector. That's a thing.

I have a no topic. I'm sitting here looking at it. But I want to talk inspector talk for just 30 seconds here's the deal when you buy a home your real estate agent will recommend an inspector that inspector is your real estate agents partner in making this sale happen if you inspector ruin some sales and says no no you don't want to buy this shit and then the real estate agent will quickly find an inspector who doesn't tell you that.

So what you do is you go to Angie's List. If you're American, I don't know if that's Canadian or not, but you go to Angie's List, find an inspector that's highly rated, hire him yourself, and now that guy works for you, not your real estate agent, and does a much better job. Inspectors are not a lot of money, and it won't cost you anything more. That's a percentage sometimes, right?

I haven't heard of that. I would expect to pay for a regular sized house $300 or something like that. I think I paid for either by the square foot that he was inspecting or for the list of price. It was something like that because it was one of those things where it was like, alright, I owe you this much. You know you had to add it up

But I used the one in one situation with that had been recommended by the real estate guy and in fact He was you know up front he got in there like oh, you don't want this place Oh, it's a mess you see that pipe you got there That was part of a class action suit back in the 80s till three years ago could have got it all done for free But now it's on you. We're looking at 30, 45K, ripping the walls out. It looks like there's already been a little flood in there. You can see, see that camp spot?

That's just the start of your trouble. I'm just like, alright, you stop there, we're leaving. That's how we were with that, what I call the Smoot House. That house with the pool in it. My god, I still look back in that and think I... It's a purpose were with that. What I call the smoot house. That house with the pool in it. My God, I still look back in that and think, I wish it happened. This is a nice house and everything, but there's no pool in it. I almost bought a house. There was a pool in the center of it, and the house was around it, and it was all inside.

And I just looked through. When I first saw it, I was like, I'm not worthy of this house. This is really great. And my real estate agent was like, sure you are. You're worthy of this home. And I wanted it. We made an offer. They accepted it.

It got to the inspection. And the house was totally wrecked. The plumbing was ruined. It needed all new plumbing. Like 80% of the plumbing was ruined. It needed a new roof. It needed new insulation the plumbing was ruined. It needed a new roof. It needed new insulation. All the sub floors were rotted.

It was the world's worst house. But I still kind of want it. If it's too late, maybe someone else will go in there, bite the bullet, pay for that new roof and all that new plumbing and get the sub floors taken care of. And you can swoop in in the next mortgage crisis and scoop it up. There you go. Hey, you want a new topic? Yeah.

Yes. Love it. The NHL's oldest cheerleader, Molly Shatuck, pleads guilty to rape charge. It turns out this chick, who's 48 years old, was having sex with a 15-year-old, and now she's guilty of rape. Team is cheerleader for.

I don't even know. Like, half NHL teams don't even have cheerleaders because they get, like, bottles thrown at them and nobody wants them standing in front of the glass. Especially a 48-year-old one. The Ravens. She was a cheerleader for the Ravens. And I'm looking at her.

Yeah, 15-year-old me totally would have hit that. 15-year-old me would have hit anything. Let's see this. You got a link? Oh, I'm sorry. I should be linking you guys. Let's share this up. I thought you said NHL. No. I think

he actually did say NHL because I was very confused. If it makes any difference, I was totally thinking NHL. I was very confused. If it makes any difference, I was totally thinking NHL. I said it again. And FL. She looks pretty good there. So she was having sex with a 15-year-old, huh? She was.

Now, are they accusing her of rape, they're trying her for rape, or she's been convicted of rape? She pled guilty to rape. To rape? It looks like it's in the title. Yeah, it is. Fourth degree rape.

So let's see what fourth degree rape is. Yeah. I don't know off the top of my head, but I'm sorry. That's where you get raped by a professional cheerleader. They're calling her a socialite here. A person is guilty of fourth-degree rape when the person intentionally engages in sexual intercourse with another person,

and the victim has not reached that victim's 16th birthday. Or, it seems like that's the one. Intentionally engages in sexual intercourse with another person, and the victim has not reached their 18th birthday, and the person is 30 years of age or older. So is it basically like an extreme statutory? She blew a 15-year-old friend of her kid. She blew him? That's all she did? Blew him, yeah. I'm reading through. She performed oral sex

at a rented vacation house. Well, that just seems like an act of kindness. You know what? Look, kids out there listening to this, stop ratting out these hot older ladies who are just trying to bang you, okay? Nope, standard here, and it's deserved.

48-year-old dude and 15-year-old girl, completely wrong. 48-year-old woman and 15 year old girl completely wrong 48 year old woman and 15 year old guy nothing wrong with that no but if you were a big fat hawk who was disgusting kyle you would have a different stance on this absolutely not and you can clearly look at this and tell like that's a hot chick he wanted her to suck his dick then he went and like bragged about it to somebody like look a cheerleader an nfl cheer to suck his dick. Then he went and bragged about it to somebody. An NFL cheerleader sucked my dick. And now she's going to get a fourth degree. She's going to be a sexual predator.

She's going to be on a list somewhere. They're going to take her DNA and put her in counseling with real predators. All because she was cool enough to make you the coolest guy in your grade. See, I don't even think he ratted her out. Like, I feel violated. having my cock sucked was awful just like bragging gone awry where a kid was like like some kid's mom that this guy was friends with got ragged on for his girlfriend being in his room and he was like oh yeah oh yeah well steve got his cock sucked by a 48 yearyear-old Ravens cheerleader.

And then she goes, oh, my God, that's horrific. It's such bullshit because you've got to keep your mouth shut. Why are you telling people? Like you can't tell people if there are overage women sucking your preteen dick. You've won the lottery already. But if you tell anybody about it, they're going to take all your money. That's how this works. Just for the record, teen dick I can get.

Pre-teen dick I think is a little bit of a stretch. Look, my buddy. You said pre-teen. That's 12. If that gets nine, it's a different story. I meant teen. I don't think I said pre-teen, but I meant teen. If you're 15, there's nothing wrong with that.

The fact that she's super hot and 48, like, doesn't make a difference. Like, I mean, it's good that she's super hot. But I don't care that she's 48 instead of 28. You know what I mean? Like, it doesn't matter to me. She just likes sucking dick. And there's nothing wrong with that. This is a...

She likes sucking dick. Guys like their dick sucked. She likes sucking dick. This is a match made in heaven. And he ruined it. Now, do you extend the same thing to guys who share naked pictures of their girls? Because I'm just saying, like, girls are willingly sending you naked pictures, and that behavior will someday end if they know that these are shared.

I'm asking. I'm asking, like, so you're saying, say, 15- 15 year olds who ruin the whole statutory rape thing that they were previously enjoying they ruin it by by spreading the word now what if you're a guy who happens to be getting a lot of like you know naked pictures and stuff then you know if you share those then you ruin it for everyone too right then if you share those, then you ruin it for everyone too, right? Maybe not because a lot of those girls who are sending those pictures, the vast majority don't put their face in it. So they're kind of expecting you to show people. It's not like a senior photo where they're like, look at my nice tits and my ass and all this, and I got my smiling face.

That's not happening it's usually kind of obscure bathroom photos where it's just neck down so i think they kind of know you're going to share it in some situations yeah totally yeah i think it goes the same way you know especially if you're in some sort of a social environment where like becky knows knows jimmy and jimmy knows suzy you know what i mean like if you're just out in the world, then, like, I don't know anybody. Like, the guy I met downstairs, like, I'll never know anybody who knew him. But if I'm in high school,

of course, everybody fucking knows everybody, and it's, like, doubly true that you need to keep your fucking mouth shut. Again. Nobody knew I was fucking in high school. I didn't say a word to anybody because I knew it might jeopardize me fucking in high school.

You know what I mean? It was a fucking... I wasn't stupid. Don't say a word. So did anything else happen with that lady who was pretending to be black this week? She did some interview. I know she did an interview. I'd love to see it.

I know there's one part she did when she was little. She was like, I would just always end up coloring with a black crayon. I always went to that. It's like, what? What? That whole... This has to be just a big joke,

because there's no way someone could say that in sincerity. Like, when does this, like, the trans thing stop? I'll just be trans poverty so I don't have to pay taxes. I like... She's been going for five years, though, with this fake thing. She showed up with this fake black guy and said that he was her dad. I think there's images of her. Really?

Fake black dad, yeah. And she's just tan. She doesn't even look. I've certainly seen people who are ethnic in one way or another, and they have a really, really light skin tone. But you look at this lady, and it's like, she's got a nasty perm and way too much tan on. She looks orange.

Does not look black at all. The whole thing is funny. Orange is the new black. I like that. That is interesting that she was able to get away with it for so fucking long. Her parents turned her in. That's the best part. They're like tired of this shit.

Just like sick of her nonsense bullshit. They're like, we're Irish. We are Irish. Her mother's name is Britt. What is your fucking problem? Her name is Britt. What is your fucking problem? Her name is Stephanie. Find another black girl named Stephanie and I'll go back on these comments. Daryl.

Someone pointed out that I guess some white guy pretended to be black at some other point to get a job. I don't care about him. I only care about this chick because she's so silly and funny. Yeah, just that. And it's all about laughing at her. Yeah, that's the whole point. I don't care if it's been done before and someone else set the precedent for pretending like you're another fucking race, which is just absurd. Although, I guess, what if you're biracial and one of the races is like a golden ticket race, if you know what I mean?

That's what I saw that what she was saying is that she was trying to be taken more seriously by the people because she would be more oppressed or whatever because she would be African American. So people in the African American community would take her more seriously and she'd be able to change things for them. I believe that. I even believe that. I really do. But you can't. You're not like this. It's like, I lied about being Nigerian because I thought the Nigerians would like me more, you know? You can't lie about that. You're white or you're black, and it doesn't matter. There's tons of

white people working for the NAACP in the position that she has. But she was not going to be one of them anymore because she fucking lied. That's what Jon Stewart was talking about. They have a black correspondent that was talking about you. You can't just be black. Like, you're born like this.

You can't just, oh, I'm black now. But they do it with genders, right? Just to gain sympathy, yeah. That's because it's possible to, it's apparently it's apparently possible to um to to mentally basically be female or male so you're your girl born in the boy's body right yeah i was so so why can't you be a white person a black person born in a white person's body you're just not accepting you're trans racist has nothing to do with what's in your head. It's your race. It's a lot of physical characteristics.

It's in your genetics. She identifies as black. You're transracist and you just can't accept that she's a black person. I absolutely will not accept she's a black person. Neither will the NAACP. It's beyond the pale. Before long, it's going to be impossible

to question anyone on anything that they claim at all i i claim i'm someone who paid my taxes last year identify as a taxpayer like jesus christ like we have to edge this nonsense of being able to claim whatever you want with reality like just like in the shit like cait Jenner. That's fine. Let her do whatever the fuck she wants like I can't wait You know what right cuz she cuz she had that that accident on the Trans-Pacific Parkway or whatever a few months back. I think someone died, but there were definitely injuries to cars in addition to her own woman I think someone died, but there were definitely injuries to cars in addition to her own woman

She's got to go to court now to make an appearance for this whole thing You know but where Bruce does so I'm wondering like does she show up as Caitlin does she make a big deal about the fact? That Bruce Jenner is the one who's facing the charges like is she like I'm sorry your honor Bruce isn't here anymore See because I'm his next of kin and all, but he's not around anymore, and he did that driving. He was such a klutz. I'm sorry. No person exists anymore. Try and persecute the me of six months ago.

What if this is all just a big ruse to get out of that fucking lawsuit? She actually did some more car accident. I hadn't heard about that. I think a person died, but there were definitely injuries. I didn't think you would have heard more about that. I heard nothing about that. You cut your dick off, it shuts all that car accident stuff. That's over.

Who cares if you've got a fender bender? You just cut your dick. Do you guys want to take a question? The kind of questions i get i okay before we do this question because i think they're gonna say yes i want you to know i have gotten so many life advice questions on reddit now that i can no longer answer all of them it would be i would need a team of me's to keep up with this stuff and uh i just want you to understand i can't do them all but this one caught

my attention and it's long and I'm willing to bring it to the group you guys interested yeah let's do it alright so here is help with life decision hey there woody longtime fan of your videos and a big stream ly helpful for me in the past few years I want to thank you for the hours of advice tips entertainment you provided me and all your viewers especially throughout my my time in high school. I graduated and started community college with a few years this summer, or a few courses this summer semester. I want to go to a four-year right after, but my A-B average is not enough to get accepted into the school of my choice. I decided to save my money to do the first two years in community college and make another

attempt to get into the university of my choice. I live in, I guess I can say this, I live in California, so top universities in the area are really competitive, and I think if I try harder this time around, I can have a better chance. The problem is I'm starting to think my parents want me to venture off on my own, specifically my stepfather. I'm not the best son one could ask for, but for the most part, I take responsibilities seriously, stay out of trouble, and focus on school. They've always been really strict, but I've noticed a shift lately. He's claiming I'm not looking hard enough for a job, but the truth is I have been, but only in the past few weeks since I was purely concentrating on school before I graduated. He says I spend too much time on the phone, but in reality, I only text my girlfriend an hour a day when I get home

from school at night. Since she's in high school, we've tried to maintain a relationship based on online interaction. Also, every mistake I make is the I've had it with you type of scenario. He begins lecturing about how he'll stop supporting me and telling me I will fail at life if I don't shape up. I understand my mistakes and acknowledge where I need to become a more effective person. However, most of these claims are forgetting to walk the dog occasionally or walking around the house with my shoes on. Since I'm not a father, I have no idea whether these types of behaviors are worthy

of such severity. So his father's like, I've had it with you. I want to stop supporting you. You and your footwear. Dick, your fucking sneakers. God damn it. I honestly don't know. I'm almost finished. I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to do and I'm right about my dad's intentions to get me out of the house. Whatever happens, I'm determined to finish college.

The issue is whether I should stick around here and continue to experience this conflict or whether I should try it out on my own in the real world. It's a big decision because I have no idea what his intentions are, and if I ask, he will not admit even if it were true. So help me, Woody. I want to succeed, but I don't he will not admit it, even if it were true. So help me, Woody. I want to succeed, but I don't know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. So to sum it up, I couldn't get where he was in community college. Did you guys follow that? Is he finished? No, it just seems like he's in school. I couldn't garner a point as to whether he's like

six months away from completing it or four years. It might be that he finished his first year, got A's and B's, but didn't get into where he wants to go and thinks that if he finishes second year of community college, community college is a two-year program, that he'll do so well he'll get into a top school like UCLA or something like that or whatever, Stanford, wherever he wants to go. But his dad has had it with him. Seems like his dad just wants

him to make something of himself and feels like he's dilly-dallying around the point. Which, partially I can see if this guy is saying... You know, because you have to think about the perspective of the dad here. Like, maybe the guy is dilly-dallying with his education and he's taking six

hours a semester and he's not actually working his ass off. Like it's easy to say I'm in school and be taking six hours in a semester and another person can say I'm in school and they're taking 21 hours. So there is a lot. It's a gradient there. So maybe he's just taking easy gen ed classes, trying to wade his way into it and take advantage of his dad living there.

Or maybe his dad's mad the fact that, you know, saying that he's not looking hard enough for a job, when in reality looking for a job, a lot of it is waiting because you can't just be badgering someone or a connection all day, every day. You have to wait for them to get back to you, to call back, to do things like that. So there's a lot of middle ground here that you just can't ascertain from the message. Yeah. Whenever I looked for a job, I made that a job, looking for a job. lot of middle ground here that you just can't ascertain from the message yeah when i whenever i looked for a job i made that a job looking for a job like i could spend 20 hours a week

like applying for jobs all over the country or world if that was what it took now that's one way to go about it um yeah i i wonder if there's like i'd like to hear the stepfather's perspective on this it very well could be that he sees this guy getting his a's and b's in community college and gen ed courses like you said with no study time and he just feels like wow this guy's going to take this like sort of slacker school attitude and continue it indefinitely um i don't know what should he go out on his own? no he shouldn't go out on your own but I just can't get over the whole community college while he's not establishing

how much he's working are you taking 6 hours this semester? are you taking 21? are you working your fucking ass off? I'm ready to issue a verdict are you sending one email a day? or are you researching actively looking like it's so much empty space to fill in here i think he should ask for his stepfather's attention and

tell him the sorts of things that he's told us i think if he went to him and said dad it feels like you're trying to get me out of the house like you're not happy with who i am and you'd like to part ways you know is that where we are here and if that is the case then he should go out and live on his own and and do the next step because he's not going to thrive in an environment where his father's tearing him down for wearing shoes um that that's where we need to do that i think he needs to talk to his father and he says his father is stepfather We'll just deny it but give him a chance to answer and tell his side of it and lay it all out That's probably the best advice Kyle Yeah, probably so it's hard to say he doesn't give a lot of information there

It sounds like your stepfather probably doesn't love you very much and I mean I can understand that you know, I think He's been waiting on you to get out of the house for probably years now. And the moment he thought the moment was now. But now you're in fucking community college. So he's just like, shit, how much longer is this going to last before I can have my dream life with this woman? Yeah, it's like under my fucking feet all the time. I just paid three fucking thousand dollars to get that carpet change. He's walking through it is no, he doesn't like you very much. All I've wanted

to do since I joined this family was your mom on the kitchen counter, and you're not making that a reality. He just doesn't love you very much because he's your stepdad. Work harder at community college, and I hope you're doing it as, you know, do as many credits as you should be doing

and try to work a job at the same time because your stepdad's not going to help you out. So let me just make sure I'm not sharing my screen. This is a bit of a dirty one. Hang in there, Bobby. So last week our sponsor was Autoblow, right? The robotic blow job machine yeah yeah which reminds me we need to do a crunchy roll ad soon and and they're doing a competition to find the prettiest vaginas at which point one presumes they're going to make the auto blow the auto

fornicate and uh and and the auto fornicate exactly Auto-blow is a much sexier title than auto-fornicate. The auto-blow, if you don't know, is kind of a mechanized fleshlight. And they're trying to make a mold or something of the prettiest vagina. And then I would guess step two of their business to put the vagina sleeve on there instead of a mouth one. So on the subreddit, they said, hey, if you wonder what great looking vaginas look like, this is it. Dirty pictures inbound. You have vagina pictures?

There's a link, yeah. It's R-N-E. I see. Well, I think this really depends on... Oh, R-N-E. Yeah, sure. I know that. I'm familiar with the subreddit. Well, it's describing an innie vagina. Just like an innie or outie bellybutton. They're just talking about a vagina with very small inner lips,

which I guess is a lot of people's ideal vagina. But, you know, this isn't a beautiful vagina subreddit. It's an innie vagina subreddit. But this guy is saying, if you wonder what the best vaginas look like and then he points to our any and and i guess my question was like yeah okay um do we have strong preferences on this thing yeah sure let's let's we can absolutely let's see i i feel like the best vaginas are just those possessed by people who like sex a lot. No, I think there are definitely pretty vaginas and ugly vaginas.

You're not going to say anything because you're not a scumbag. Because guys aren't dicks. There's tight vaginas and loose vaginas, and women hardly know this is a competition. There's big dicks and small dicks, yet everyone knows there's big dicks and small dicks yet everyone knows there are big dicks and small dicks there's tight vaginas and loose ones yet no one says anything i think bill burr did a routine on this because guys are not assholes yeah like that's absolutely true there there are big dicks and there are small dicks there are big vaginas and small vaginas everyone knows about the big dick thing no one knows about the small vagina thing because we're not assholes

of course there are big vaginas but there are definitely ugly and beautiful vaginas these any vaginas and this whole subreddit in general is sort of my ideal vagina I suppose they're very pretty and they are top tier any vaginas at that because you know they're on a subreddit

so they're ranked to the top oh this is a fun forum. So on the vagina note, do you have to run, Bobby? I do, actually. I have to go to the gym. What's wrong with that? We appreciate you coming on. Where do people go to check out your stuff?

What's the URL? Bobby Burns Official is my YouTube channel. That's the channel people can to check out your stuff? What's the URL? Um, Bollyburn's Official is my YouTube channel. That's the channel people can go check out. That has the widest variety of content and stuff that I work on. Alright. I'm definitely going to continue watching the videos. I like them a lot. Thanks for coming on. It's been strange talking to you and hear you not do your FPS Russia. The voice, because I hadn't, until I saw the YMS episode, I had, like, I knew it was a character, but I'd never seen you outside of it, so that was, that

was, this has been interesting. Well, there we go, man. Awesome. Thanks for having me on, guys. Thanks for coming on, man. Have a good one, man. See ya. All right.

So. Would you like to take this moment to continue talking about vaginas? Or do you want to go to Crunchyroll? Let's, I guess, Crunchyroll. You do Crunchyroll and I'll fix the... It's brought to you by Crunchyroll. Crunchyroll offers the largest,

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on our exclusive offer of Crunchyroll Premium free for 30 days. That's right. Crunchyroll Premium for an entire month. If you sign up using Crunchyroll.com slash PKA. Mirka, can you do this to your mic? Is this better? so yeah murka can you do this to your mic did not this is better i'll do the rest of the show like this my mic is having problems

oh man i i i wish i could make it better i don don't know how. It sounds like there's... Is this storm actually gigantic around you, Woody? Because I feel like I've heard strong thunder, like a dull roar coming from you. Like, is this... I don't currently hear it, though. No, it's not that big a deal. Like, there were thunderstorms earlier, but I've never heard wind or anything from it,

like, through my headset. Like mean from outside like i've never had it actually make it into my ear cups if that makes any sense um and and right now i'll look i don't even think it's windy out but i i hear it keep coming i'm not even sure it's you taylor i'm just sure that tonight we haven't had the audio that I dream of, and I don't even know why. Yeah, I can't even know. There's no noise. Could it have been Bobby all night? Because I don't hear it right now.

I don't hear anything right now. I thought it was Kyle when he was muting himself before the show, but I don't hear anything. Yeah, it's hard to say. There's certainly not any ambient noise. I thought maybe something could be going on with my, you know, cables get loose and make noises. It's not Bobby because I hear it now. Okay, well, fuck it.

Well, fuck it. So Crunchyroll is fucking awesome. If you're into anime at all, sign up for them. And there is no better source for anime. They are the top of the heap. Absolutely. Let's see. So where do we want to go from here? I want to talk about the...

There was a shooting today. Yes, exactly. The shooting in South Carolina. I don't know many of the details. I know that like nine people died and it was in a church. So if you know any more than that, feel free to catch me up. They should have seen this kid's fucking school picture and scooped him up the next day, first of all.

He's one of those blunt, bowl-cutted freaks that looks like he's going to go on a massacre. He killed nine people, from what I understand as well. I think it was an African-American church. I think he killed a lot of black people. He was a white supremacist, apparently, at such a young age. And I think they captured him in North Carolina about three and a half hours from Woody's house.

But he's from South Carolina, probably closer to Wings of Redemption's house. His main neighbor. This is the guy Wings was going to bring over to Woody's house to help him. An angry young man. But when he's focused, he can really, I mean, he's great at carpentry and, you know, firearm control, that sort of thing. Poor guy. Dylan Storm Roof. poor guy kyle says uh complained that blacks were taking over the world something needed to do about it for the

white race and he went to a black church like kyle said and there are nine deaths but i don't know how many like like if i were trying to kill not if I killed nine people, I'd probably have at least, like, ten injuries go along with it. Not every shot's a kill shot. Sure, there are a lot of injured as well. But what I want to know is, he's clearly, like, a Confederacy-loving racist. But the fact that he did it in a church also makes me think that he also has some weird anti-religious tie-up in his head. Like, there are other places that he could have done that and killed more people there has to be a reason at a church this isn't going to make any sense to you but here's the way it works um white racists

and white supremacists are very religious a lot of times they believe in they believe in god they're christians a lot of the times but they they have no respect for African-American Christians. It's almost like they see African-Americans as less than people. So they're like, yeah, keep on praying. He don't answer, y'all. It's one of those things. I feel like he's just going to church because he knows that's where he can shoot the most African-Americans. Maybe I'm reading into it too much.

I just felt like because he's clearly a racist. But the fact that he did it in a church, I feel like there has to be some other motive there for the I think what Taylor's trying to say is he killed the wrong black people is that what you're saying Taylor that that he could have gone to Ferguson if I'm getting the Taylor vibe right it's he has a list of black people that he would gladly kill and none of them attend church, right? That's what you're saying so Certainly not what I'm saying We all heard it Taylor we all heard it why go to a church those aren't the black people you're looking for just say it

There has to be a reason he did it at a church like some weird even if it's like in his manifesto of nonsense like i just feel like that's too big to overlook do you know what i mean like there has to be a reason he did it at a church like even if it's just like some goofy quote from hitler where it's like disrupting the peace to bring the pure or whatever you could say like burn them wherever you find them um you know but like back in the day um that was a big thing for like the KKK and white supremacists down in the South in general. They burned the black churches because the black church was a place for black people to congregate, to have a source of leadership, to kind of get rallied together if there was going to be a – that's why you see someone like Dr. Martin Luther King.

What else was he? He was a minister. So it was a really good way, and it was the most common way for black people to get together, to get focused on a cause, to get their shit in order, and then go fight for their freedoms. Well, that doesn't make sense in that perspective. Yeah, but this kid was just a shithead. I'm surprised he made it so far from the shooting scene. That's a little scary, I guess. I know they had SWAT teams going door to door, kind

of like they did back in the Boston bomber scenario. That's a little scary, I guess. I know they had SWAT teams going door to door, kind of like they did back in the Boston bomber scenario. That was a crazy time, too. But it's a good thing they got this guy. His life is just ruined. Oh, he's not dead? No, they captured him, from what I heard. They got him alive. And I'm not trying to say I feel sorry for the guy at all.

I just think it's just something to think about. You know, of course, he's just. How old is he? Do we know? 21. He looked like 17 to me, like in the picture. Like maybe it was an older picture, but like he looks so young. I just feel like not only has he ruined all those people's lives, but like his own life,

like for the next 80 years, probably it's going to be a system in one way or another. If I have this right, Taylor thinks he killed the wrong black people, and Kyle thinks it's a darn shame that he can't keep on living like he was. I think Woody's got a good handle on this situation. His life's ruined. I honestly think he killed himself. Because generally those people do that when they go on a rampage in the end they just

end it he didn't save a bullet for himself like he was supposed to was he using an assault rifle a murder machine what rifle did he use kyle do you know i didn't even want to look into it because like like today alone like my job you know

i'm at a fucking gun show. There's 10,000 guns. There's $2 million worth of machine guns that I'm, like, working with tomorrow. Like, I don't even want to look at what this fucking numbskull did. Oh, man. Do you think the liberals might use this to argue against guns? It's possible. I don't know.

You think? Would they do that? You know, Woody, the fact that you would insinuate that Liberals would exploit a tragedy like this Every time like one of these fucking psychos goes and and and goes on a shooting rampage or something I I usually lose whatever project we're working on at that current time like there'll be a project where it's like 80% sewn together. It was like okay we're gonna do this this and that. Sometimes it's 95% done and you know they're just like oh at this juncture we can't be associated with any firearms related projects.

We regret to inform you blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. It's just like goddammit we've been working for two months to get that deal straight and we had it. Everybody was happy and then this happened and that's happened three times that I can remember Jesus have you watched Piers Morgan videos on gun control because it is like they're a bit of free a you know I think that's that that's this whole thing though you know the thing that makes Piers Morgan uh well it did make him valuable to CNNnn before they canned his ass yes uh i think that that people like him um who really flame one really far edge of rhetoric you know these far left far right people they know

they know they gotta know that they're leading a group of crazies but they themselves have to be more closer to a moderate i hope i hope because like pierce morgan really comes off like such a fucking pseudo-nazi sometimes uh and i think it's all coming from a good place but you know i don't want to argue about pierce morgan i don't know he's got he's got some good points and he's got some stuff that just makes me scratch my head and he's got some stuff that kind of pisses me off as an american too because you know he's he's not from here and he's kind of like tell me even if he does have some good ideas it's like don't tell me how to do my thing you know, he's not from here. And he's kind of like telling... Even if he does have some good ideas, it's like, don't tell me how to do my thing. You know?

You don't want to hear that from his ass. It's like when Kitty comes and tries to tell me how to do something. I don't want to hear that bullshit. Like, absolutely not. And he acts like the... He acts like owning a gun is like owning a rabid pit bull that you have chained up in your bedroom. Where you wake up and be like, oh my god, the chain's broken. The pit bull's you have chained up in your bedroom where you wake up and be like oh my god the chain's broken the pit bull's out people are in danger where you wake up one day and it's like

the ir15 it's gone roaming the street again like this construes the entire reality of owning a gun for 99.9999 percent of people out there who just like shooting just like having fun. It's a hobby at me and 5,000 more people with guns are gonna be across the street tomorrow We're all gonna be armed to the teeth and I guarantee nobody gets hurt or injured and everybody has a good time Can you bring a gun? It sounds like a ridiculous thing, but all the gun shows I go to like you they they pat you down pretty well I was talking to the owner of the gun show today Like that's what they do that the people who brought me in are the people

who put on these gun shows. They kind of do them everywhere. And he said, you can bring your gun in, but it's got to be unloaded. And generally what I've seen people do is they pull the slide of their pistol back and then loop a zip tie into the chamber out where

the magazine goes, the magazine well, and zip it tied together so everyone can visually look at and be like that's a clear gun you know because you might want to bring it in to get a holster made for it or get grips for it or just be like hey i what's wrong with this or maybe you just want to sell it i don't know i want to say something similar happens here the gun show might even provide a zip tie because they're like orange with the flag or something like you know you can really if you know guns at all if the action's back like that and there's a zip tie through it then you know it's clear if you don't know anything about guns it might not mean anything to you but uh everyone

at the gun show sees this like orange little flag going through the action knows like yeah the things can't use it it's just a just a club yeah we talked about that a little bit today about um i guess i don't really don't want to tell we talked about that a little bit today. I guess I don't really want to tell that story. We talked a little bit about accidental discharges. I've never had one, but I've definitely seen it happen. There was a guy at a gun store, and he was showing a Custer MP5. It's an MP5 compact. He slaps the thing, drops the slide down.

He's like, yeah, it's got three-round burst, fully automatic, this kind of magazine. We got this kind of sight put on it. Bam! It's right there in the fucking store. Shoots the glass countertop out. It shatters. Bullet ricochets off the metal framing of the glass, hits the storefront window, shatters it out. And he's just like oh

and this customer is just like ah what the fuck yeah wow they fired him oh he wasn't the owner he was the manager and he still got fired for it yeah general manager like he's the main guy like like he got fired for that and then a year later he like he texted me the guy who had the shooting thing he's like hey uh i kind of want looking for a new job i was thinking maybe i'd work for aac which is advanced armament corporation he's like i know you know a lot of guys up there maybe put in a good word for me i like texted my guy over at aac and i'm like hey this uh i'll make up a fake name this bre Brent guy, yeah, he's had a few problems. Maybe look elsewhere. The opposite.

I felt kind of shitty about it, but, like, how can I recommend this guy who I've seen have a gun mishap in a store environment, and it's a class three thing, like, that's kind of a one strike and you're out kind of thing. It scared, it could have killed me. Typically, you avoid that sort of thing by not having loaded guns. Like, in that situation. You know, if I'm... If I'm showing a gun to someone, I'm not depending on my trigger discipline. That thing's unloaded.

And it's obviously unloaded, and it's shown to be unloaded. I mean, hell, we do it on camera all the time, right? Like, here it is! Here it... You gun assholes! We're gonna fuss... You can see how unloaded this is? All the way unloaded this is all the way unloaded yeah it was uh i don't remember exactly his you know line of explanation about how that happened but i'm sure it was something like you know the mag was in and then someone dropped the

slide and then the mag was taken out and then he thought that that meant unloaded but it's like i can't buy into any of that because i know the guy, and he and I both know how guns work, and we're very familiar with an MP5. I can operate one with my eyes closed. It's not that complicated. So no excuse here. That's like lesson one of owning a semi-automatic pistol that you learn. Like every time any of us bring a semi-automatic gun on here whether we do it on screen or off screen i guarantee each of us pulled it pull the magazine out rack the slide like three times check make

sure everything's clear because it's a fucking gun how do you like it's not a joke it's a gun you can't just be like yeah probably fine it's like what is it from there's uh there's some show or movie where the guy's like oh a gun click uh not loaded not loaded dude just the you're right it's a gun and there's something about it like it i um i saw top gear or something and the guy looked down the barrel of a shotgun and it's like whoa oh james may yeah yeah i i i imagine being british you know it's even less likely that he's a gun person and doesn't know but it just the the idea it's illegal to point your gun at the camera and uh i don't know if it's illegal but like it

doesn't get on tv like um freddie wong did a video for Battlefield. You guys might remember it. It involved having construction equipment and stuff like that. And I think he put C4 on a bulldozer and whatever. And it turned into a 30-second TV commercial, if I remember right. And it was really cool. It was a big thing for a YouTuber to cross over into broadcast television. But I saw a behind- cross over and to broadcast television. But I saw a behind-the-scenes thing on it.

And they had a scene where they pointed the gun at the camera. And that's a no-no. That's something that you can't do in Hollywood. And he was fortunate that they had another take of it where they shot it from a different angle. It was the same shot, but it was from two cameras at once. So they used the other one and just swapped it out in the edit. But, yeah. And then when I heard it, I was you know what come to think of it there are very few into the camera like down the barrel views that next next video I'll

make sure I point the gun right at the camera at some point your guns are loaded well I'll put the camera on a tripod oh yeah okay like if it's a guy with like an iPhone they're filming you like oh yeah good job and you're pointing it right at it look shitty but if it's a gun camera on a tripod who cares if you point a lot whenever I film on a tripod I'm much more likely to point the gun the camera be like look at this you can see down the bit you know because it's like who cares and I can remember getting a lot of people like oh why you can't ever do that and it's like it's not a fucking tripod like there's nobody behind that i'm not like pointing the loaded gun at here and

then going bang bang bang and then pointing it back like we're not doing that yeah oh i found out what kind of gun it might be apparently his father bought him a 45 caliber pistol like one might guess in 1911 but it could be anything um But they're not sure that was the gun that he used. Given that he killed so many... I saw a picture of him with a backpack on going into the church. That's what it appeared to be. So I don't think it's an assault rifle. Backpack. Gun.

You just think he had a number of magazines. Oh, you think he had the gun in the backpack? So you just think he had a number of magazines. Oh, you think he had the gun in the backpack? Well, I saw an image of him going into the church to do his thing, and he didn't have a rifle slung over his shoulder or anything. So I'm just saying it's most likely a handgun. Huh. That can't be true.

Only with assault rifles can you wreak that kind of carnage, Kyle. You know, it's funny, but that's actually my line of thinking. He got, was it nine kills? and i don't know how many uh injuries and and like those are assists kyle healthy out here so 1911 holds is it six plus one typically seven plus one maybe seven it depends on the mag yeah you could have eight round mag, I mean, I don't know what the Glock equivalent is, but... I have 17 rounds. The Glock... That's a 9mm.

This is... They're saying a 45. 14 rounds or something like that? I had one of those. It's a double stack, yeah. Yeah. Maybe. I don't know.

It just seems like a lot of kills for um for that i mean it's how i've shot like speed courses with my 1911 against people with glocks and i mean i'm like two seconds slower it's just click mag change you're just going again well it also depends how many people were in there when he went in like if i seriously doubt there were 14 people in there and he killed 9 and injured 5. There had to be a pretty big group with a pistol unless he's pretty well trained. Alright, Kyle. Here's what I need.

I need some advice here. Hypothetically. You're going into a church filled with people. You're looking to maximize your kill count. What weapon do you recommend? I'm not answering that question. Okay, okay, okay. Let's say that they're all bad people.

So, like, if you're assaulting a terrorist headquarters, Untrained terrorists, though. They were all being given instructions by the terrorist leader who was sort of up above them, and maybe there's a bunch of terrorist henchmen behind him sitting in pews

or something, maybe? Sure, sure. Yeah. I feel like the... We always talk about self-defense guns. I feel like the shotgun is just good at everything. The shotgun's just... It's so much power uh it does have a nice wide spread as bill burr puts it mine mine holds five rounds though i think isn't it five is that what mine holds you know i don't know how many years old but i know mine holds like 11 or 12 like like you can buy

the extended tube for the thing that goes as long as the barrel. Plus they reload nice, right? Like if I want to reload a pistol, I either have another magazine ready or I take it out and kind of like do this and whatever. If I want to reload like a lever action or a shotgun, I can just sort of slide another one right in the front. You know, like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. If you have a bandolier on the side, like back on the stock if you have a bandolier on the side like back on the uh on the stock or you have a band here like i'm gonna rent like i used to bird hunt a lot so i'd have bandoliers on you know i'd have i'd have shotgun shells across my chest or on my waist i'd usually have like a really big satchel that attaches to a belt that holds like a whole box of shells you

know attached to my to my side so yeah just you can load so fast when you've had it once you're good at it yeah once you're good at it you can look really nice uh bird hunt what kind of shotgun uh different ones it depends what we're we're shooting when we hunt crows we want really really powerful shells so usually like 870s like i want a pump gun because um i blew up a remington 1100 i i broke an 1187 my benelli usually holds up pretty well but do you have a supernova no i don't have a supernova i've got a uh an m2 montefeltro and my dad has a super sport i think i think so kyle you went hunting with your father bird hunting with your dad was that a good bonding activity totally yeah 100% yeah like what makes hunting a good bonding activity it's me and him

against them working together and he's teaching me a skill and as I learn the skill I demonstrate that he has taught me and I'm like you know he's like you want to do it like this like that and then I'm like boom boom and I killed two birds he's like fuck yeah nice job and then like all his friends are there to like see that I'm doing a good job and you know, he's like, you want to do it like this and like that? And then I'm like, boom, boom. And I killed two birds. And he's like, fuck yeah, nice job. And then like all his friends are there to like see that I'm doing a good job. And, you know, it's a really good bonding experience. We're spending all day together. We were both very, very good at it, like better than anybody else that was with us. And I don't know.

He's a smart guy too. So we kind of connect on that level. We're like, no, no, we should be on this end of it. You know, the birds come in from over here. You get there. We get there. We'll cut off everybody else. You and I get all the kills. And we'd have a good time together. Alright, this audio

thing is crazy right now. Can you guys hear it? Yeah, yeah. I'm going to mute myself and tell me if it gets better. Did it make any change? Or is it me? It got significantly less. Get out? Or is it me? It got significantly less. Get out. It could be me?

Well, I can hear the roaring of the rain on your house. It's not even raining. Oh. So bizarre. I don't know what this is. I hear it too. And I also would describe it as roaring of the rain. But I'm going to tap my mic.

Yeah, see, my mic's not even coming through my headset. Like, I wouldn't hear it if it was coming through here. Well, I'll mute mine right now. Yeah, that's it. It's Kyle? Yeah, I can't hear a thing now. Yeah, it just got perfect. All this time I thought it was you, Taylor.

It got... Ha-ha! It got about 30% less when you muted yourself for some reason. How about now? I don't hear it. I unplugged the laptop. I did it. Oh, I should have thought of that.

I've heard of that before. I've had this issue before, like years ago when I used my laptop for the show. Yeah, I'm on a laptop at the hotel. So that was the issue was charging problem solved only two hours Almost two and a half good try yeah I Swear we started troubleshooting this before the show started and even now there's a thing. I don't know if it's just a Skype thing, but people aren't able to interrupt each other properly. I feel like my mic historically would step over everyone else's, so I had to be extra careful to not interrupt.

I do my best. But now I feel like everyone's stepping on. I don't know. Taylor, for some reason, is on the bottom of the pecking order. And if anyone talks taylor gets muted this isn't something i'm trying to do i don't know mike yeah but kyle in regard to the bird hunting i want to know why you hunted crow like why hunt birds that you can't eat unless why crow so here's the deal um i have been on dove hunting and uh dove hunting is like there

are tons of dove hunters it's a thing looks like turkey hunting is a thing for whatever goddamn reason and duck and deer there's a lot of dove hunters there's gear for it special that's specialized and all that stuff and it's very fun and i like eating doves you rip out their breast stick cream cheese in the middle wrap it in bacon and jalapeno toothpick throw it on the grill they're called uh dove balls it's you know the breast grilled with so cali police service is investigating uh significant property damage uh but you guys didn't hear it but i played a video by accident i'm sorry i'm sorry but um it's not as much fun and it's kind of you're kind of the way you dove hunt is you've got a field that they're going to,

and you're waiting between where they sleep and the field they're going to, to feed. And you're ambushing them in the middle. So they're trying to get to the food and you're shooting them then. Uh, but crow hunting, it's different because crows are some of the most intelligent birds in the animal kingdom.

You can teach them to talk. They're like parrots, but people, they don't have a support group. So you can shoot the fuck out of them. Ravens are the smartest. If I learned anything from Game of Thrones, I'd carry it. That's true.

Here's how you crow hunt. You get up before the sun comes up, and you go to a pecan orchard, and you're waiting there when the sun starts cracking, and you start playing a recording that lures the crows in. So it's either crows fighting with a hawk or crows fighting with an owl,

which is their two natural predators, or it's a bunch of crows just kind of like congregating, like, ah, ah, ah, ah, like one, like, you know, just screaming like a whole murder of crows going to town. And that draws them in. And it's very important with crow hunting that you shoot every crow that comes. And the first crow that comes is the alpha male.

He's the guy in charge. He's going to fly over, check things out. If he sees you, or if you take a shot at him and he gets away, he goes back and tells the others, fuck all that shit, they're lying. Don't go over there. You just got to leave. Your day's over. You got gotta go to

a new spot because these if you miss a crow you're that fucked at the beginning at the beginning of the hunt but what we would do because we shot all day every day like we had thousands of ski and we had we had the right gear we were you know ghillie suits and really well camouflaged hugging trees waiting till the crow was close enough to kill. And as he got closer, you turn the volume down to bring him even closer. And you've got decoy crows laying everywhere, you know, standing in the grass.

And when he gets close enough, you shoot him with a souped-up shotgun. You don't fuck around because crows are tougher than they look. If you shoot him with the same shell and same shotgun that you shoot a dove with, he'll fucking shake that off and get back to the... It's still birdshot, right? Still birdshot, but it's bigger birdshot that's going faster.

So more inertia, more mass, more speed. Dove shell might be an ounce or an ounce and an eighth of shot. The shot would be seven and a half shot, which is a smaller. It's getting toward the end of the smallest. Nine is kind of like super tiny. And it's only go, it's usually going 1200 or even less feet per second. But if I'm shooting crows, I want like an ounce and a quarter, an ounce and three eighths, an ounce and a half of five shots, six shot, maybe some sevens mixed in. I like to make my own little mixture and it needs to be going like 1,300 or 1,400 feet per second.

So when you shoot one of these shells, it's a regular shotgun shell that recoil is going to be like, boom, boom. This is going to be like, boom, boom. That's to kill a crow? And we use extra full turkey chokes. So you're shooting

the tightest pattern you can imagine and The height that a crow flies over the trees is dependent upon how tall the trees are they fly at treetop level Period so if you're if you're hunting in like some 12 foot tall pine trees that motherfucker comes loping right over you 15 feet in the air and you blast him point-blank with that load I've seen Scott do this to a crow and the all that was left is the two wings and they just pinwheeled the crow comes over and just wings then just just just like feathers like poof in the air like Tweety bird and two wings spiraling down with no there a reason to kill crow other than their interesting skeet?

It's a challenge, obviously. There's the sport of shooting anything. But also they do a lot of agricultural damage. They destroy the pecan orchards. They eat the pecans. So oftentimes you can go to the game warden and you can get a writ that lets you hunt them out of their season because of the agricultural damage that they may or may not be doing. And the other thing is it's kind of a hit and run type shooting. Dove hunting requires a good

dove field. People will pay a lot of money to go to a dove field and shoot, you know, $50 a person, $100 a person, $200 a person if it's a really good one. It's often farmers who have through the course of legit agriculture, they have seeds spread all in the field. They cut over their corn, their wheat, their soybean, whatever it is, milo or whatever and now the seeds are dispersed but it's not like you went out there and baited so that way it's legal and there's a very serious distinction there because if you went out there and threw the seeds out you're baiting which is a crime so that kind of hunting is dependent upon there being birds it's dependent upon you getting a good spot it means sitting in a field all day in the heat it's sit here and wait kind of hunting but but crow hunting is hit and run hunting so we get in the truck at the break of dawn and we'll go to one spot and we'll hunt

until they're all dead or they stop coming and then we'll go to our other spot and we'll just do it again and we bounce around starting at like 5 a.m and we'll get done around noon now was teenage kyle ever lazy like no i want to stay in bed oh yeah totally he just dragged me out of bed he's like come on we're going hunting like that yeah let's go he'd get me out of bed eventually i was usually excited to go but i'd always get out of bed to go hunting like especially if it was the kind of hunting that i enjoy uh i didn't always want to get out of bed to go deer hunting because i had to carry so much gear and i didn't like that and it was like you know a couple miles walk but for for bird hunting i'm always up to go i'm up to go now i've been

telling them lately we should go deer hunting is not half as much fun as bird hunting. I've never hunted, like, I can't see the fun of that, really, because, like, the whole fun I have, like, I love dove hunting. I like pheasant, quail, not turkey as much, but pheasant, quail, dove, that's all fun, because you're active.

You're walking. When you shoot one, you're like, I'm gonna eat that later. That's fucking my food. I'm going to eat that. With a crow, it's just like, all right, dead bird. Woo-hoo. Yay. It's killing them.

The noise is back. Taylor, are you also on a laptop that's plugged in? No. No. No, it's not plugged in anymore. And it's not like that anymore and it's better I wonder if it comes back again I'm unplugging my desktop piece shut this whole thing down yeah but I don't know there's a lots of lots of different kinds of hunting and they're all fun for different ways I think the think the commonalities, the camaraderie is always fun with hunting, the outdoors nature of it, just getting outside and doing something, the physical aspect.

But it's also the risk and reward. With some hunting, it's like you get chance after chance after chance, just like fishing. But with some hunting, it's like you get your big moment, and if you mess it up, you ruin everyone's day. And if you miss the deer, then the night's over. They don't just keep coming. Once you shoot the first time, it's kind of over. I tend to get a lot more anxious with bird hunting with someone who's new to it

than I do deer hunting where you're both in a stand together waiting. Unless you're a complete jackass, you're not going to walk to a part of the stand where the guy's aiming and just get shot in the back of the head. But with bird hunting, if someone doesn't know how to walk the line and figure out where the dogs are, how fast to walk, when to pace yourself, when to stop, then you could pull a Dick Cheney and just get shot right in the face. I've been shot a few times, so it's usually not that bad.

And I've seen people get shot kind of bad. So in dove fields, everybody's kind of just dispersed out in this field, and when a dove comes, whoever's closest starts shooting at it. And if it flies the wrong way, eight people might shoot at it along its path. And as it goes, it's getting more frantic and

How high is it? That's the thing in question. When one's very low, that means that I might be pointed across the field at you. So you'll hear someone scream, low bird! And that means don't shoot. Low bird means don't shoot. And some people don't know that. Some people think low bird means shoot that when it's low.

He's asking for it. He's asking for it. He's asking for it. Doves are a lot higher than pheasant, at least in my experience. So on average, like pheasant are always, you know, rising up from the ground. So, yeah. Pheasant and quail taste better than dove, I think. But now that you've mentioned the cream cheese thing with the bacon. You don't have to know how to butcher animals.

You don't have to be a chef. Like, here's what I do. You with the bacon. You don't have to know how to butcher animals. You don't have to be a chef. Here's what I do. You grab the bird. It's on its back in your hand. This sounds awful, but you grab the skin on its chest and just tear that off, and you really don't have to. You can just reach in and grab its breast, like the two muscles and the skin,

and rip it right out of the bird. And you've got like a double breast of meat, just like a double chicken breast, you know. And like I said, you wash it up, maybe cut the fat off if you want to. They're so lean anyway, you don't need to. And it's cream cheese, bacon and jalapeno, toothpick and you throw them on a grill and they really are delicious. And I don't like beer, but I really like beer with this. Like, I love to drink beer and eat those things. A friend of mine went hunting. I was in high school.

We weren't close, but whatever. And he shot a bird on the ground, and apparently that was, like, a major super-duper no-no. Like, you can't shoot a bird that's walking around. That's asshole. Especially if you're young. Like, nobody cares. He was young, yeah.

Yeah, that's... It's one thing to correct somebody if they do something like that, but, like, I don't care. I've seen people shoot birds right off the... I don't care if you go and club them. I don't think the bird cares either. Well, they're dying either way. You want to be legal, but, like, if it's just me and you there

and you haven't shot a bird and there's an easy one like i don't give a fuck if you kill it um i've seen people a lot of times like the bird will land on the power line right above them and uh and just no mercy power line sounds risky yeah those pheasants like if you have your dog pointed at it and it's in some bush somewhere and the dog spooks it or it hears you coming they'll run for like 10 yards before they even take off so it's yeah uh i'm gonna eat you i don't give a shit if i shoot you there or i shoot you here and then just blow it away kyle said a thing that got me thinking he's like you know if we're hunting and maybe

you haven't done much and you shoot a bird on the ground, I don't care. Go get the easy one. That's how Kyle is. Like, if you're Kyle's friend, same team, bitch. Same team all the time. It doesn't matter. Like, he killed a guy,

but probably on the ground. You know, he at least he let him get a running start he's doing the best he could no if you're kyle's friend kyle's on your side period that's right absolutely it's how i feel about a lot of things because i've been there i'm i don't remember a specific incident but i'm sure I've shot a bird while it was on the ground. I just know I have. It is unsporting. It may be borderline illegal if the game warden were

standing there watching you do it. Dude, I was shooting that bird because maybe I hadn't shot one in a while. I just wanted to shoot a bird. I'm dressed up in my bird shooting outfit. I'm wearing my bird shooting cologne. I got up this morning to do some bird shooting don't hate on me because mine wasn't exactly airborne like it happens right

it's still edible which is the reason we're fucking here which is why i don't think i'd ever go crow hunting because i don't like killing things unless it's for food which is why when i talked about fly fishing recently and I found out that the dude was like oh you gotta catch and release make sure you wet your hands before you touch it because otherwise it could burn their sensitive fish flesh shit I don't go to shit can't eat it it may as well not exist I don't care if every fish in this river evaporates right now I can't eat it it may as well not exist i don't care if every fish in this river evaporates right now i can't eat it i don't care otherwise like i don't want to hunt for something and kill it

unless i can eat it that's the fun i have shot stuff and i've eaten what i've eaten deer upshot i've eaten uh doves that i've shot um i think that's probably it but But normally, I don't. Is medicine gamey? Yes. What does gamey mean? I don't know. I've never tasted gamey. Gamey is just a little bit of a funky taste that you can get. And I think part of the gamey taste comes with how the animal dies.

You hear about adrenaline getting in the bloodstream and that making the animal taste bad. And I don't know if that's been the case more times than not when I shoot deer but generally speaking I'm not speaking to how my deer have tasted but when I shoot a deer he drops dead right fucking there like he doesn't run off because I use a high-powered rifle and I shoot him in the heart it's also the fact that these animals are much much leaner than what people are used to eating like farm animals so you get a different flavor there and when they're not grain fed which is what a lot of people are used to regardless of whether it's chicken or beef that comes across as gamey have you ever eaten jackrabbit woody like on

jackrabbit i think that's a very gamey meat right there if you get a big jackrabbit but i'm i'm I'm just a pilot. Can you hunt deer in your yard? So the rules are like, yes, basically. But it depends what your yard is. A few things have to be true. It has to be you have to be so far from certain roads. You can't be in a vehicle that's under power. You have to be licensed up just like normal. You have to be outside of city limits. As long as you want to look in like the manual make sure you're not breaking any of those rules and then totally

i've shot deer in my backyard i've shot a handful of deer in my backyard yeah i know so the rules for shooting uh i can shoot in my yard i don't really have a way that i'm comfortable doing it like you you can't shoot um within 100 yards i think of another Like, you can't shoot within 100 yards, I think, of another house. And you can't cross anyone else's property. Those are rules that I can live within, you know, and still shoot inside my yard. I don't have great backstops at my yard at the moment. So I would need to shoot, say, from an elevated position or something,

you know, to do it right. It's up a tower out there. That's a deer stand or something. It's up a tower out there. That's a deer stand or something. It's up a deer stand right in your backyard. I suspect it. It's too obvious. I don't like the kind of hunting. I don't like when they're up in the nice,

cushy, comfy tower. And I've been to places where it's like that. And when I say I don't like it, I don't like when other people do it. And I certainly don't enjoy watching other people do it but i guess i would like to do it but it's just very very different from legit hunting and it's a different experience i think like like when i went to that ranch in texas what's a cushy tower because i'm picturing like a lawn chair in a tree with a cushion here's a cushy tower tower. This is what they had in Texas.

Maybe I didn't get to this part of the story. You walk up a staircase that wraps around this thing and a door opens. There's a poker table in the middle. There are LCD TV screens everywhere. One of them's playing the NBA game, but the rest of them are 100% 24-hour live feeds of cameras pointed at feeders that are 400 yards, 400 yards, 800 yards, 300 yards, 600 yards in every direction. You've got full panoramic

view and a bench that these tables are sitting at so that you can open the window, shoot out the window from like, uh, you know, having propped up on a nice, uh,

thing and everything like a nice, uh, sandbag situation. Then turn around your wheelchair and you're like wheelie office chair, continue playing poker. And there's like a steady supply of beer and liquor. There's a fridge. There's all that stuff.

Like super cushy, air conditioned, heated, the whole thing. That sounds like a parody of hunting like if you were an episode something i'd believe you if you wanted to go like i don't know you're gonna be paying 10 to 25 000 to go up go do that and kill a cool animal see that's the way uh you can shoot deer in your yard or uh the last house I lived in, or one of the last ones, we lived on a golf course, and there was such a huge deer problem on the golf course.

We lived right off of one of the holes that they legalized bow hunting on the golf course. So from our backyard, if we were on the porch drinking or having a party or whatever, and some dude was like driving got his seven iron out it was about to like swing and a deer came on and they were so desensitized to humans they weren't like wild deer where it was like you walk up and they're what the fuck they see you like yeah you're another one of those whatever and they i'd see guys like about to swing and throw their seven iron down run over to their golf cart grab their bow and then like string and try and shoot these things 10 or whatever it was on the 18th hole course and just once you killed it they had to remove it you can't just leave a dead deer there and so you would every once in a while like once every couple months you'd see like a guy a few

people hit you'd hear the noise. And then you'd see the golf cart driving very sluggishly with a deer on top. It's like, I just had some good luck in the previous hole. It's an old Missouri. I golfed a 104, but I got a 10 point. Here's what they should do. In areas like that, all they got to do is legalize crossbow hunting because i don't know i don't know how much crossbow experience either do you have

they're like rifles for for like the first hundred yards it's a rifle it shoots so accurate it like all go in this little group at like reasonable distances and it shoots fast as fuck. Can a child load it? Can Colin load it? No. How do you have to load it? Because I have no experience with crossbows. I've only seen the hand-crank medieval ones. So here's the way mine works,

and I think mine's a decent one. I don't know if it's the best or whatever, but if you're holding the crossbow like this, you turn it upside down and put the front of it on the ground, and there's a place where you can put your foot on it and step on it, and then you reach down with both hands, grab the string, and yank it back, and it locks twice. It's like, click, click,

and you've got it completely pulled back. And then you put your arrow on in place, take the safety off, and it's got an optic on it, like a scope, just like a rifle would have, but it is a... I don't think my girlfriend could, could, you know, yank it back, uh, I don't think, you gotta be a man, uh, to operate a bow, one of those. Is it like 80, 100, 120? I couldn't say, but I, I would guess it's 70 plus, it's definitely 70 plus, but I don't

remember, I, I don't shoot it much, I, I bought it for a video forever ago, and I just shot it the other day at like a big dirt bank. The bolts are different than the, you know, regular arrows too. I swear I just heard a pig. I thought that you guys played a sound effect of like a frog croaking. I heard a small noise. I thought maybe one of you farted or maybe, and I was just gonna let it go. Nah, I'd take credit. That was a small noise. I thought maybe one of you farted or maybe, and I was just going to let it go. Nah, I'd take credit. That was a good one. Like, what the fuck? I don't have Minecraft open.

Minecraft malware. So, crossbows, they don't drop that much? Because I always imagine that just like a bow and arrow, over like 80 yards, it would be like a foot below where you shot it. So everything drops at the same speed. The question is the velocity of the projectile. So how long it takes to get from point A to point B. And in that time period, everything drops the same amount. So it's like, I don't know, it's like 10 meters cubed per second or something like that.

But that doesn't matter. The thing that makes the crossbow better than the compound bow is I think it shoots a lot faster I think mine shoots close to 400 feet per second whereas like a good compound bow I think is in the low 300 feet per second Right, did you shoot multiple times though? Like what's the difference between? Reloading a crossbow as far as time if you're adept versus a compound bow because I've shot compound bows And I know it does not take very long.

It doesn't take very long, but generally if you shoot once, the jig is up, whichever. They hear the strum of the bowstring firing, and everything runs away. I would say if you were able to load a compound bow and fire the second shot and make it effectively, then you could do the same. I would argue you could do the exact same with a crossbow because it's really just like you would shoot, put it upside down, yank, arrow on, and then go again.

And really the great part is it's always fucking loaded. So there's the part of bow hunting that's always like gotten me found out and, you know, the deer gets away has always been standing up out of my seat arrow on the bow putting my release on the bow drawing aiming and firing it's all of that stuff that that gets screwed up it's not the hitting of the deer most of the time like if i can get the bow drawn back i can kill the deer but getting in position to do that with an animal that's like evolved not to let you do that it's hard to do that do that now i's evolved not to let you do that is hard. Now I heard an echo. Taylor says he's hearing the storm really loud.

I'm going to look out the window. Give me just a second. I don't think it's even a storm. But hold on. So isolated that you're not sure. Let me look outside. Don't leave me alone. Alright guys, welcome to the Merkager show. Kyle and Woody have left and I'm the only one here.

So I can say whatever the fuck I want. And what I want to say is... I should have prepared something. Why would both of them leave? Why would two-thirds of the team leave in the middle of the fucking show? Like, you have to have someone to bounce shit off of. guess woody's not to blame kyle's to blame he's walking over there sucking his girlfriend's tits or something while someone be here for me to talk to now they're both it is barely raining out it is raining but i had to like yes confirm there are some drops falling

but not enough drops to constitute this level of sound. Right. I'm going to turn my ceiling fan off, but this mic, it's a really good mic, and it's built not to have wind issues. And then I put this on it, which isn't even necessary. But I'll turn it off and see if that's it. And once again, Malone, just running the podcast by myself oh Woody's back okay I left you alone again did you not like it no I love it I love it it's like my

uh my long deceased don't be a douche podcast which I might eventually where it's just me talking about trivial things uh for no reason as if you have all the answers. Younger is better. That was towards the end of my channel. The one you're talking about was like four years ago. I know how to raise kids. I'm 28 years old.

no experience. Be harder on your children, those little fucks. Yeah, yeah. i remember we were talking about that it's uh yeah i swear it got better we'll see if it comes back but i really don't think it was my ceiling fan it just it doesn't tie in with with what i know about mics and this one in particular but it does better now but i'm sure you have that on all the time when you're doing the podcast and it's not some weird hurricane effect every week. So I don't think that's it.

It has to be something else. I agree. Yeah. I mean, literally, I have it on that same speed every show we've ever done so that it's not a new variable. But, yeah, the audio tonight makes me feel terrible. That's okay. People will be fine.

Our fans don't, our fans don't tend to complain, you know, they strong point. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's all at small things.

I've learned a lot about fans and fan bases and stuff like that. Like, um, well, here's one thing. I think I wrote it on the PK subreddit one time. Sometimes a fan will be like, you know, Hey Taylor, you're whatever, big stinky time. Sometimes a fan will be like, you know, hey Taylor, you're

whatever, big stinky poo-poo head. And you're like, no, fuck you. To you, you think you've told that fan that thing. But to the people reading it, they think that's the way you talk to fans, right? That's the way Taylor shouldn't talk to

his fans like this. And you're like, man, it's really hard to defend yourself without offending all the other people who take personally what you said to that one guy. That's one thing that I've learned. Yeah, it's easy to just like, whatever, forgive the famous word, but like to be famous wrong, to be famous incorrectly. You'd be a douchebag about it. I see Jon Jones do it. john jones the ufc fighter uh he'll like run or uh this is a response to a facebook post i'm talking about and uh some guy would be you know like tear him a new one for something he did i don't know get injured and uh and he's like hey you know why don't you step in

the octagon give it a shot and they're like look at him he's threatening, hey, why don't you step in the octagon and give it a shot? And they're like, look at him. He's threatening his fans. Really? Even better. Did you see Dan Bilzerian's little faux pas on Facebook? I didn't. What did he do? What did Bilzerian do again?

What does he do? He's kind of famous for using what wealth he has to run a really crazy Instagram account where he shows himself doing crazy stuff with lots of women and sort of presents his life as like, don't you wish you could be me? Women in firearms. Are they off of this or he uses riches that he already had to be a… He uses riches that he already had, some of which are inherited and some that he earned along the way doing various things to finance it. And I think it also makes money. But yeah, his Instagram grew massively.

He did the Howard Stern show recently. He's got kind of an interesting life story. But he's got no social graces when it comes to dealing with a fan on the internet. So this fan said something like... Dan's post was basically this. It's nice when you have friends waiting for you back home.

It was a picture of some hot ass chicks. Fan number one says they're not friends if you have to pay them. Dan says I fuck more hot chicks in a week than you will in your whole life, you fucking loser. It was something like that. What a petty, awful approach to a troll. Oh yeah, well I have more sex.

I got more sex. I will say this about Dan. He's not exaggerating. Who doesn't like beautiful women, right? Gay men and some women. There you go. Okay. But I think everyone, most of us can agree that we all love beautiful women.

Here's a guy who has a plane and millions of dollars, and he's kind of in the limelight, and he's a really good-looking guy. It seems like his entire life is a vacation. Like, that to me is the most, like, I don't even know if I had his money, I don't think I'd spend it doing the same stuff. But I do like that he seems to spend all of his time doing whatever the fuck he feels like doing. What he told me was that he's like, I've done all that bucket list stuff. He's like, I did this.

I did that. I went out and did this thing. And it was a lot of cool accomplishments. He's like, now I'm just trying to have extravagant fun. It's because why not? I like fast cars. I like beautiful women. I like fucking guns and explosions.

And I like, you know. So he women. I like fucking guns and explosions and I like you know So he kind of just does that what I've already done all that bucket list stuff Well, it sounds like this guy just exudes arrogance and being obnoxious Yes, I know that I jumped out of a plane my dad gave me money and now I have an Instagram. Fuck off. I have sex. Women love me because of me, not because I have a fucking hot tub. You have nailed this so well for not knowing him. And he could be a really nice guy.

And his father made his money through like insider trading and such. Look, I feel like these are generalizations. I've met the guy a couple of times. He's always been very nice to me. So I think I have to give him a fair shake on this and say that those are kind of generalizations because his father was certainly a wealthy man with or without whatever nefarious

business dealings landed him in prison. I don't, I'm not saying that it wasn't. His father may have also made millions even if he never did nefarious business deals i suspect he did really well honestly and really well dishonestly yeah sure okay so but what i'm saying is i at some point i i heard him talking about like where x amounts of money came and went to he lost a lot of his inheritance When his father got arrested he had decided the federal government kind of held him for ransom

They were like they made him sign over a large like over 50% of his inheritance just to get his dad out of jail And that was a fifty thousand dollar inheritance Then I can see your point that he only got 23 grand What was the inheritance because if you're going to say 100 million then there's no excuse because someone who responds like that to an internet troll is acting as though they have never had to deal with the slightest bit of criticism at any point in their life whatsoever and the first person to get under their skin just drives them over the deep end where it's like i'm better than you i'm fucking people like it was

a lot of money it was a lot of money um i i you know it's it's like i'm better than you i'm fucking people like it was a lot of money it was a lot of money um i i you know it's it's hard to say with wealthy people like i'm here right now working with some wealthy people you know that i'm not sure if they're worth 500 million or 50 million and to be honest i don't think anyone can really tell unless you like follow them to their accountant so dan's got a lot of money a lot of it he inherited. Probably more than you would think you would ever need he's inherited. He's also made quite a bit playing poker, believe it or not, because he plays a lot of

cash games that are very high stakes. Wow, that's interesting because poker is a game where you can play very high stakes cash games with no capital behind you. Like it's like he made himself, right? Like he built himself up from the bottom with those high capital uh games good for him you know i'm sure he made millions on his own i bet he's a friend

started a couple of companies and made them profitable and then reaped the rewards thereafter i i know he's done that as well look i'm not saying he's a great guy you mentioned arrogance totally and i don't think you want him dating your daughter, but you may want to follow his Instagram account. There you go. Bill Zarian. B-I-L-E-A-R-I-A-N. Z-E-R.

I'm pretty sure Google will correct it. He's pretty successful in social media. And a troll got under his skin, but I am in no position to throw stones over a troll getting under someone's skin. So I won't... Dude, it's easy to happen. Especially if you don't have

a lot of training and experience with this. Because sometimes someone will say something, and it's not because what they said is accurate. It's because of how inaccurate it actually is you know if someone someone like you know calls you a nazi or something somewhere and they mean it and you're just like whoa whoa you need to get your shit straight and all of a sudden you look like the the dummy on

the internet because you were trying to explain to somebody that you're not a fucking nazi i'm just paraphrasing it's it's yeah i i totally see that historically some of the things that i've responded to sometimes it's just been jerks but oftentimes it's like man i wish people had the facts right if they had the facts right they'd all be on my side right you know the the charge back with jumpman thing yes that guy was a thief so at least it's rooted in something though that's sometimes people will just make up outright lies i saw i saw somebody making fun of me on 4chan one time and they were saying that they had met me and they were describing things that i had done that were just kind of minor douchebaggery

the kind of stuff that when compiled together make you go oh well he's an asshole then and i'm just like you have very subtly tried to like damage my image for some reason and i like that with like proof that it's me and i'm like that's a lie that's a lie that's a lie and this is why why why and why and oh kyle only a fool would take anything here posted as fact it was so he was like yeah i met him he was wearing his own shirt it said this he wouldn't he told my friend he met him he was wearing his own shirt it said this he wouldn't he told my friend he didn't have time for his autograph or something he refused to take a picture because he wasn't and i was just like none of that stuff is true and like i don't even

have to have a good memory to know that none of that's true because i don't wear my own fucking shirts uh really anywhere unless it's like a real lazy sunday uh i i almost almost always do the picture. I think one time I said no because I had a cold sore, and it just looked terrible. And I think I sent that guy a free shirt in the mail or something and signed it. And I always sign stuff because why the fuck not? I've got time to

scribble on your AR. You are very good with fans. I've only seen you in three or four instances in real life with people who are like, oh my god, it's FPS Russia, come up to you. And you're always nice. You're never a cunt. You're always kind and friendly. Absolutely. I appreciate all those people.

I know we've whittled it down before and been like, how much is one human being who's a subscriber actually worth? And it's a minuscule amount of money, but it's about more than the dollar amount that is attached to him. It's kind of an idea. This guy's part of the team and I'll give him what he

deserves as not just a fan or whatever he's contributed, but as a human being. It's clear that he's had to work up some amount of courage to come over here. His palms are sweaty. It's like the Eminem song. Every time I meet these guys, it's like palms neat. Palms are sweaty, mom's spaghetti. Yeah neat what it's like um palms are sweaty mom spaghetti yeah yeah yeah it's always like that i'm just you know it's so many times i shake these

guys hands and they're just sweaty so sweaty because they're so nervous to meet me and you can see their like jaw quivering while they're talking and it's like calm down man i'm just like i just it's like a thank you, not to them individually, but also to the whole idea of why you're successful. That kind of person who cares enough to watch, to follow you, to see all the shit you're doing. Yeah. Thank you to the demographic just by being friendly to them

so they can post it and other people who are in the same boat can be like, yeah, that guy gives a fuck. I met this family one time at uh at walmart and uh and it was like the it was i saw the daughter and the mother first and the daughter was like staring at me and uh and i know i i was like i wonder why she's staring at me or whatever and then like later on the father daughter and uh mother like the whole family unit like cornered me by the fritos and they were like, oh, it's you, it's you. And they like described this whole scenario where like they get together and watch my videos

on their Apple TV in the living room and stuff. And they were just like, like the dad is like wide eyed, like taking pictures of me for Instagram. And I was telling somebody about this whole story and they were like, I bet if we search your name on Instagram, we'll find it. And there I am with this family at Walmart

dude I got like the opposite so um I'm having my paint my house painted in apex and uh you know this guy wasn't a fan or anything but somehow what I did came up and I was like yeah I have a show on YouTube etc we do painkiller already I'm Woody's gamer tag etc and um he's like oh I'll check it out so he sends me an estimate on what it costs to paint the house because we're prepping it for sale we want it to be nice and um he's like oh yeah watched your show with my son it was the auto blow episode he's like some uh some colorful language in that show it's like fuck it's like yeah an adult show sir yeah like and of course he watched the auto blow right filthiest sponsor imagine i still don't have mine but i'm sure it's

fun what a shame dude it really is great like like i know woody wasn't around for my description of the auto blow i feel like it's definitely better than in manual masturbation, no matter how good your technique is. I definitely felt like the thing kind of takes over. You can just kind of take a little nap, and it'll still be doing its own thing down there. It's great. I really like that thing.

The cleanup is easy. That's the most awesome part. The loud noise is the best. Everyone should know, hey, Dad's masturbating in this room. The cleanup is easy. That's the loud noise is the best. Everyone should know. Hey, dad's masturbating in this room. Give him some space. That's how I assert my masturbatory dominance. And after a while, you can just turn it on and not even use it in a room and get some privacy.

I was knocking on that door. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cream. Uh-uh.

Okay. See you in an hour he's had a stick in that masturbation machine for like four hours what is he doing i hear lord of the rings soundtracks in there what's what's he doing slut shame me i think like she was like oh yes it came in the mail and he disappeared for hours and i was like yeah i was fucking that machine got in the mail like i got no shame like there's no way you can own a blowjob machine and not just don't not just not just own it like i mean you know how to handle it you assert your masturbatory dominance you let the world know yeah i thought i lost in the mail i thought that

it got lost in the mail and so I went to the post office, and I was trying to get my Dollar Shave Club stuff too. And I was like, I think that you lost something that was supposed to be delivered to here. It should have come a while ago. Someone sent it, and they were like, what is it? And I was like, ah, well. It's a brown box. is it and I was like ah well it's a brown box it's a brown box some goods birthday I actually said like an asshole people in line behind me that someone

had shipped me some goods like Oregon Trail I needed good to continue on my way. Just some goods, sir. I had a friend in New Jersey, and in New Jersey, cigarettes are very expensive. And at the time, I did not know that it's a crime to ship cigarettes across borders and get around that tax. It is. So I know that now, and so I don't do that now. It is. So I know that now and so I don't do that now, but at the time I'd buy her a $50 carton of cigarettes, mail it to her for $3 to a place where they were $70, saving her like $15 a carton or something like that. Or maybe $20 a carton. I was like, I didn't expect to be asked, and I can't tell you what it is, and I was just like, books. And she was

like, oh, great, books are free, just get them out of there, and just get them out of the envelope, and we have a special book process. And I'm just like, nah. I want to keep going. I already paid, you know, with the card. Like, I don't even know how that refund works. Like, you're going to give me stamps or something. Back has changed. Like, nah, just nah.

She's like, no, really, it's free. And I'm just like, I just backed away and walked out. She had to make her own out she had some private books I guess I should have been like they're pornographic in nature like like but in reality I'm like don't bust me for smuggling goods across state lines so I just want to help and she's, that's pretty funny. Yeah, that's embarrassing. It would definitely be embarrassing if someone from the community, like the mailman, saw my auto blow.

Because I know my mailman. I know my mail lady. I don't know his name, but he knows my mama. You know what I mean? I can't be fucked up like like that and what did kitty expect you to do when you got that in the mail just go over to your bookshelf and put it next to your eighth grade wrestling trophy like i just think she liked the idea of like teasing me because uh with my male sex toy but i won't allow it i feel like that uh that's sexism andism and I won't stand for it. Exactly.

I'm sure a lot of people on Tumblr are behind you. I saw the Reddit post where someone on Tumblr was making the case that any vaginal intercourse was rape because the woman must not be in her right mind to allow that to happen to her. It was hilarious. That is so condescending. To be like, oh yeah like I know better than you.

You don't even know the decisions you're making. Has been using you since 1992. Well, I like it. What the fuck? I love this whole like Tumblr movement, that whole like. Some of this stuff on Tumblr is like actually damaging in my mind. Like I've heard the argument that like, let's say this stuff on Tumblr is actually damaging in my mind. I've heard the argument that, let's say this goes on. Guy says, guy and girl kissing, making out, whatever, right?

He makes a move. She says, no, this is not what she's looking for. That's a step further than she had planned. All right. They kiss, whatever. They do their thing. 30 minutes later, he makes the same move again. This time she says yes.

There are many who think that's rape. And that's bullshit. Yeah. It bothers me. I'm like, man, you know, like... I mean, the situation you described. She says no, and then 30 minutes later...

30 minutes later is my window. That's how long it takes the pills to kick in. And you're telling me that, no, this is bullshit. Not rape. I agree with Kyle, totally. I just, I mean, I think about high school me, and that'd be a pretty normal thing, right? First time up the shirt, no. All right, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.

Second time up the shirt, I'm getting the all the all clear sweet i attribute that to good kissing technique i think most of it is just i think a lot of it is trolls who just see how far they can push the left point and say ridiculous things and the other half are people who just so desire to be a victim. Like, they want to be a victim so much because our media portrays any kind of victim, all shapes and sizes, to be heroic in their victimhood. They are there to be lauded for their trials, which in a lot of circumstances they are.

But people want that so much that they're manufacturing reasons to be offended, to feel like a victim, and that does enable a lot of that. And I know Woody's experiencing it firsthand. Apparently, Hope is a big fan of Tumblr offended to feel like a victim and that does enable a lot of that and i know what he's experiencing it firsthand apparently hope is a big fan of tumblr and these silly leftist ideas i uh i wasn't gonna call her out by name but yes there is uh an element of that i'm sure there's a school you could send her to some sort of military school what are are we sending her? Yeah, it would end in the word academy.

Conservative academy. Very well respected. Wait, what academy? Viking Bridge. Yeah. Also, when you're that age, I think it's also just a part of being rebellious. And they'll snap back

out of it for the most part like it's not a permanent idea there's a reason all those people are so young yeah because who are older have more perspective on it and did you hear that the the woman at the slut walk thing that is that was it called a slut walk i think it was i'm sorry kyle what'd you say it is called and okay okay let me explain to explain how the situation is going down. There's a bunch of feminists, right? And picture, like, stereotype of a feminist in your head. That's them.

Don't picture all of them like that. Some of these chicks are hot. I've seen these videos. Really? I only remember the one, the anti-slut walker being hot. But anyway. An anti-slut walker? Oh.

Okay. Which one is the good one? Let me lay this out. There's a slut walk, and these women are basically saying that America has a rape culture and that we need to stop it because so many men are pro-rape and rape is overlooked here and women are afraid to report rape and all these crazy things. And then there's an anti-slut walker. And she essentially says that there is no rape culture in America.

That in America, you know, there are no high fives for raping anyone. You are shamed for raping anyone. You go to prison and you are the lowest of the prisoners. That in America, like, there isn't some sort of it's okay to rape in the United States. We don't have a rape culture. There are rape cultures on Earth. India is often associated with a rape culture. Some Middle East countries are often associated with a rape culture, right, where if you rape her, suddenly she's a slut for having gotten raped.

You know, and what was she doing away from her brothers anyway? That's rape culture. But here here that's not how it rolls you know like if there's a rape then the rapier is almost all and unless she's a hot four-year-old cheerleader there the rapier is always the bad one and I know why you're associating the rape the slut walk people with with that though because a slut walk I thought I think, is basically these ladies wear panties, or they're scantily dressed, or even in their underwear, or sometimes just topless in underwear, and they're walking around sort of a march through an area, and the whole point of a slut walk is to say, it doesn't matter what I wear, it doesn't matter if if I'm dressed scandalous that's not a free ticket for you to rape me wait I think everyone agrees with that but what you've just described if that's what it is that sounds like an attention grab for people like that and of course it's

meant to be an attention grab but nobody in their right mind believes that well I wish would announce when they're gonna have these slut walks that I would because I think I would love to attend one because every time I see one on the internet, it's a lot of like, well, you know what, it's a bunch of chicks in their early 20s wearing no clothes, walking down the street with no

rape culture or something written on their boobs or something. It's pretty entertaining. It's very interesting that's the approach they take, and it does garner the most attention, I would say. But it also is assaulting of straw man, of that people think that rape is okay. I don't know a single person in this country that thinks it's okay. It's horrific.

I know one circumstance, the initiator the the slut walk was that a local police official in response to a rape had said something about how the girl was dressed or he had or they had made a mandate that like look if you're going to be in this area you you really should be careful how you're dressing at night it's it you know it's a you know blah blah blah and the women like found that offensive that they're saying the problem here is that you girls are wearing aren't wearing enough clothes not that we've got rapists in like hyde park that's true but it's also i think those warnings are good if there's a spark right and and dangerous felons in an area i hope the police say yeah avoid this area because you're likely to be victimized if you go there. You're likely to be robbed.

If the police say walk in groups, nobody's offended. But if the police say, look, typically these women getting raped fit this profile, don't fit this profile, they're, oh my god, how dare you suggest I'm not allowed to fit that profile? It's like, I'm just trying to help you. Yeah, walking in groups, that's a good thing to do you don't want to get robbed go go walk around east st louis by yourself see how it turns out see if people are walking up to you offering you popsicles and fun time would happen let's say i walk through east st louis right and i'm dressed in my woody Gamer shorts and a t-shirt, perhaps some flip-flops, not causing any trouble whatsoever.

Right? Just on my own walking. You'd be fucked. Like, I don't know if you've ever been there, but it's, per capita, it's the most dangerous county in the country. Okay. Like, would someone be like, hey, what are you doing here? And start accosting him? Someone would come up to him

they'd probably punk test him where they'd have somebody across the street yell like hey white boy or something like that and then depending on your reaction they would go from there what's the right reaction if you uh like if you yelled like i don't have time for this or something and kept walking at your own pace or acted crazy they'd be less likely to come up to you but if you said like oh what's up or like oh hey or something like that oh that's totally my natural reaction hey white boy sup bro yep and uh three seconds later you're on the news so yeah i'm on the news because I fucking shot seven motherfuckers. You don't have seven bullets in that gun.

Six motherfuckers. It's an awful area. Even growing up in that city, when I did get my license, and I'm embarrassingly bad with directions. And so there were a couple times I was driving downtown for a like, a Cardinals game or a Blues game, Rams game, whatever, and I would find myself on the wrong side of the river or past, you know, MLK Ave or something, and suddenly it's like, oh, Jesus, oh, Jesus, fuck.

Like, every stoplight is like, is this really a rule or this looks like a suggestion right now, and then just blow through it and try to get out of there because it's a scary area you you would not do well walking there past night time i had a cop pull me over when i was like i guess i was 16 or 17 and i got lost in that area and i was figuring my way out of it like i wouldn't have been screwed but the guy pulled me over and just like had me roll my window down on my Honda Accord. And the guy was like, hey, do you know where you are right now? Like, do you know the way out of here?

You definitely want to get out of here. I'm like, yeah, I'm trying. I'm trying. So he pointed me in the right direction and I left. But, like, that's how bad it is. The cops pull you over just to tell you you know it's not a great idea do you have your crack yet because you really get out it's almost 9 p.m yeah i'm sit the next corner just talk to him and then get the hell out like when i when i first started

dating jackie this is like the early 90s um new y was a bit of a mess. And I forget. We were going to clothing actually in New York. And I got lost because like you, I am embarrassingly terrible awful at getting places. This is pre-GPS. And like I don't know where I was in New York. I remember we passed Jerome Avenue at one point. But this shit was shady. And there were all sorts of, like,

abandoned cars all over the place. People huddled around barrels with flames coming out of them. It looked like a scene from Escape from New York. And we're all, like, we were really fucked. You know, it was only a couple miles before we found ourselves in a better neighborhood. But yeah, I'll never forget it, because, like, it was all the way bad.

Like, oftentimes I hear this is the ghetto, and I think, what's so ghetto about this? You know, like, this grass in the front yard. All right. Like, trailers or whatever. It just doesn't look that bad to me. Heck, what's that movie? Is it Friday or Thank God It's Friday or with Chris Tucker? Friday's the first one, yeah.

Friday. The neighborhood that they live in and they sit on the front porch of doesn't look bad to me. No. You know? It's home. What's that? It's not a war zone. No, it's not a war zone.

My father grew up in a way worse neighborhood than that one. I remember the smell of my dad's neighborhood. That was a thing. All the families in Friday are working class black people. I don't know. I know what you mean, though. I think the... I know one of the...

It wasn't crime. I don't think I've ever been in a neighborhood that was just scary where I was actually afraid to be there. Of course, I'm usually armed. But I know when we went to Seattle... I don't know if it was Seattle or LA, I think it was Seattle and then followed by LA. That was the first time I'd seen like real widespread homelessness. And that was crazy. I was just like, here's an untapped market. We got to get these hobos doing something. that's where i came up with the bum racing idea and the bums night out because we did there were so many homeless people down by the pier in uh in

seattle like we'd go down to the like seafood restaurant and we're all walking back and there's just dozens and dozens and dozens of them sleeping down there la is like that too it feels like raleigh has a couple homeless people and and Jackie doesn't like it. And, you know, whatever. That's just the reality. But in L.A., like, I've seen 1,500 homeless people in two blocks. Yeah. They roused them up.

And out of, like, the main areas, though, like when something like E3 is in town, because I remember that's what they did that year. We were there for E3, and I was like, well, there's not that many homeless people. Someone was like, oh, normally they are. They really cleaned this part of the city up a week in advance. They've just pushed the hobos out to the edges of the city. And I don't know if you were

outside the hotel that night. I know me and X-Draws were, and a handful of other people, like, I don't know, name three commentators, and they were there. But this black lady comes up and she's clearly homeless. And I don't remember what she was trying to do. She was just kind of loitering. And it was a really nice hotel.

And this black bellhop comes outside, who's also a lady. And they start arguing back and forth. And the homeless lady is calling the the bellhop uh an uncle tom and and they're screaming like like the n-word back and forth it was great he's like and she's like the bell was like calling that he's like they gonna scoop your ass up too they gonna scoop your ass up too and i got the impression that like she'd called that number a few times that wasn't 9-1-1 that was like 1-800 get a bomb and it was like come in throw some white uh nets over this lady and just take her somewhere like they

totally were yeah it is like a different world you get into those areas where it's like you don't even feel well you you don't belong and you don't feel like you do where it's like one wrong step and i'm kind of fucked like yeah it's the wrong thing or walk the wrong way or pull my phone out at the wrong time i can't i've never experienced that i wouldn't want to i wouldn't like that very much i know remember i i went to visit my grandmother once and uh this is where my dad grew up it was across the street from a bar in um did she live in Camden? Gloucester, Gloucester, New Jersey, which is just outside Camden.

And the big thing was, like, on several occasions when we visited, it was like, you know, don't go there because there was a murder across the street last night. And it was always a knife murder it was you know and i'm like you know can i walk around today yeah yeah yeah no murders in like weeks but um gloucester's fucked up i yeah there are just areas where when you go in areas like that the people who are near that area are like oh you should check out you know Tito's Bar, but definitely don't take 65th. Like, walk this way. Someone got beat to death with a tire iron there last week, and you want to steer clear.

Yeah. We used to go and mow her yard and stuff like that. Yeah, it was a wreck. It was a bit of a wreck is newark that's a pretty dangerous area right newark's a big city though right so this there's good parts and bad parts or whatever i like to think camden and patterson are the prizes of new jersey that if you want some fucked up neighborhoods camden and patterson is good i know i've said this before but did you ever see the movie i think it was, was it Stand By Me?

Like Morgan Freeman played this principal who like straightened up the high school. Yeah, I think that might be Stand By Me. Crazy Joe Clark was the principal's name. Morgan Freeman high school movie. There we go. It was Lean on Me. So the movie was Lean on Me.

By the way, I hear the noise now. Am I stealing fans off? I'm innocent. Anyway, Lean on Me. He played this high school. It was like the worst caricature of an awful high school. All the kids are not paying attention, not going to class, pregnant, dropping out, etc. That's where Jackie was zoned for. That was her base school.

She went to a Catholic school, but that's where she would have gone had she not done private school. So, yeah. Oh, now that looks like a bad neighborhood. And that second one looks like where my dad grew up.

Oh, yeah. There are huge swaths of East St. Louis, and even before you get there, that look like that. Like North County, where Ferguson is, isn't even that bad. Where Ferguson and Berkeley are is not nearly as bad as East St. Louis. Yeah, that second one reminds me of where my father grew up. And behind the house would be a small yard. Everyone had a chain link fence, and they just have their little section.

And the first one, different, but I also recognize it as not good. Yeah. I'm perceptive enough to catch that one. Less than ideal. My phone, which is my hot spot right now, has 5% life left. 4% now.

And I don't have my charger. So I'm going to have to borrow a charger from Kitty, who's a floor down below me. And I'm still waiting on her to respond to my text message. Do you think that 4% will last another... No, I don't. Definitely not.

That's all right, Kyle. You can concede to your needs. We're good friends. Concede to his needs? That sounds like charger needs and any other ones he might find. Yeah, I thought I missed a sex joke and I'm like, I hate to

see that happen. But I didn't get it. Say hello now, so if I say yes later, it's still rape. That's the thing, the people gave consent to be interviewed or whatever. And then she's like, now I'm removing my consent.

And she's like, that's not how consent works. She's like, it's kind of funny. This whole thing's about rape and you're not, you know, obeying my consent. And she's like, yeah, it is kind of funny because that's not how consent works. You can't say yes, do the thing, and then the next day or several hours later say no and now act like you're being victimized. You can't return Taco Bell food the next day because it gave you diarrhea. You can't do that. I think people do.

That explains Taco Bell food. Oh, yes. Well, I have no idea what caused the audio issue in tonight's show. Well, it may have something to do with my whole setup here. The tether thing? No, it wouldn't be that. I don't think. I don't know.

I appreciate that you tried that. You literally flew to Pennsylvania with a boom mic setup. Yeah, I brought everything yeah yeah the desk so pka 235 I think so go check out crunchyroll.com there'll be links in the description and an annotation on your screen if you want to get these shows early you can be a patreon member also links in the description and maybe an annotation in the screen. Sometimes I suck at that.

Yeah, so I hope you guys enjoyed the show. Alright, see you next week.