Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #245

Episode Date: September 5, 2015

This week on PKA, JayzTwoCents joins the show again to talk about the recent Virginia shootings as well as the upcoming Survival Trip 2015!

Live, Painkiller already, episode 245 with our guest Jay. Jay. Hey. Hey, 245 episodes, holy crap. Right? This episode of PKA is being brought to you by Next Issue, where they've got any magazine you could ever want right in your pocket. Awesome.

Yes. I will talk more about them later, but they offer a totally legit awesome service, which is pretty cool. I wanted to do that shooting as the first topic of the show. You wanted to do it. You were angry that he took the opportunity. Yeah, it was going to be me. Stupid blonde.

I'm watching it differently. You want to lay the facts out there? So here's what we know. The guy worked there for some years. My wife said that they never worked together, him and the female reporter. Does anyone know what the scoop is on that, if she's right or wrong? They did work together. I don't think they worked literally together, but they worked at the same news place, the same station.

According to her, they didn't overlap at time but maybe she's wrong oh i don't know that's what i read online i was under the impression they worked concurrently but like didn't talk or know each other really how was this thing filmed from two angles well he filmed one angle himself as it went down and then obviously the cameraman's angle because it was on a live report was it the cameraman's angle is that the other one the the cameraman's angle that's the live news feed right because he's kind of panning over from the lake you know over to the interviewer you know kind of a dynamic shot and then he was like cell phone holding one hand and kind of doing like an fps you know type of yeah he had it someone told me it was a GoPro. And I'm so sensitive about this topic.

I'm not even sure I want... Somebody wrote me on Reddit. I think it came today. Like, they sent me a private message and said, Woody, don't show that first-person shooter angle. They're like, I think this will be one of those things

you've come to regret. And I've got, like, three things since PKA started that I really wish I could take back. You know, I really wish I rephrased that women rape thing. Fucking Robin Williams. Robin Williams is two. And I can't think of any others, but I'm sure there's at least one more good one that I wish I could redo.

And he actually brought up the Robin Williams thing. He's like, I think this is going to be like the Robin Williams thing. If you show that first person shooter footage, this will be one you wish you could have taken back. And I don't know if he's like i think this is going to be like the robin williams thing if you show that first person shooter footage this will be one you wish you could have taken back and i don't know if he's right i thought i'd ask you guys for your opinion you know uh i'll just chime right in here i don't mind stepping in um that's why you're good well i went okay morbid curiosity especially as a as a second amendment rights advocate myself, I live in California which is already hard to own guns as it is. I was just

I didn't know there was a first person shooter angle. I knew that there was the camera, obviously the newscast angle and I saw that footage uncensored which was, you can kind of catch a glimpse of him as the camera falls it turns around and points back and points up, literally almost like a very

Michael Bay angle. It points right up at him you even see the pop you know from the muzzle as he's shooting and i'm thinking to myself is this real like this is the gopro angle you're talking about no no this is the actual official news angle okay okay the camera man drops the camera and it just points right back at the shooter for just a split second maybe like three or four frames and i was thinking thinking, man, this is insane. Obviously, it was real because it was all over national news, international news. But then I found out later in the day

that there was a first-person shooter angle, which I thought maybe it was like clickbait thumbnail or something. And I clicked it, and it was the craziest thing because it looks so fake. But yet the angles and the everything matched up perfectly with the actual newscast and he walks right up to them he's as close as you know any i would be to anyone in this room and at one point um she points the gun at them but then puts it away like he has a second thought and i thought at that moment oh no yeah but you

know what he was doing right was he was he wreckacking the slides? He was kind of getting his video angle ready, right? No, no, no. Here's what it was. They're doing a story about tourism in that area, and she points out, she's like, oh, and this thing over here, tourists like that. And so the news camera goes off. He wants her to get shot on camera, on live TV.

He approached when he knew they were live broadcasting. That's right, because the cameraman pointed back over the lake camera on live TV. He approached when he knew they were live broadcasting. He used to work in the industry. The cameraman pointed back over the lake so the camera wasn't facing at the interviewer. He puts it away and waits until the camera's on the woman then he shoots her. Here's the thing I thought was really weird about this. This is why in the technology

age that we are now when Photoshop and video editing being so good this is why I watched it unfortunately like 10 times because I was looking for maybe telltale signs that this was fake in some way. What I thought was crazy was he was so close to them. The first time he pointed it, I was shocked that neither the interviewer or the interviewee saw it. If you look, they're both at like a 45 angle to him where the peripheral, at least I use

my peripheral a lot. I don't know if you guys do but I might at like a 45 angle to him where the peripheral, at least I use my peripheral a lot. I don't know if you guys do, but I might have noticed something pointing at me like that. You get tunnel vision on camera. Man, I guess you're right. That's true too. It's such an unfortunate thing and I hate that I even saw it, but it was one of those things where it's just, it was so shocking. I kind of had to see it just to believe it the guy was a pretty especially like creepy about it is when you see in movies or even like with higher caliber rounds i guess and like war footage when someone gets shot they like they're they drop they're they're gonna fly back like yeah or they fly back or something

like that when with this shot like the first couple times i watched the shooter's footage i was wondering did that guy miss from that close like she just looked like she was more diving and ducking and dodging she kind of danced away yeah and then she sprinted and i was like oh maybe she escaped but of course you know she didn't like it's crazy that shock kicks in that fast and she probably just felt something yeah and her adrenaline would surge and just it's a hell of a thing also yeah i feel like there's been very little like certainly not 50 50 two people died and one was wounded right right that cameraman like i he doesn't seem to be getting any sympathy or press or not at least not his share right it's all like can you believe they shot that pretty blonde girl can you believe it can you believe it

i think part partly that's because a lot of people millions of people watched her get shot live maybe not millions but lots of people watched her get shot live and many people you know that's because a lot of people, millions of people, watched her get shot live. Maybe not millions, but lots of people watched her get shot live. And many people, you know, that's the viewpoint you see. You see her get shot in all the video. And you really don't see him getting shot. So I think it gets past some people. And, yeah, there's some sexism there. Everybody feels sorry for the pretty blonde girl before you'd feel sorry for the faceless cameraman.

Let's face it. I don't even know what he looks like. Take on it. I feel like there's this, you you know women and children first right guys are just expected to die to go down with the ship and only survive if there's enough extra room for them it's every man woman and child for themselves if i'm i'm george costanza i'm getting out of there i don't care i hear gunshots i'm and i don't have a gun i'm jumping over that balcony whatever it takes there's this notion that guys are supposed to sacrifice in situations like this and i feel like chivalry is dead it's not like he really had a chance to do

anything anyway i mean he's got a you know probably a 10 pound camera on his shoulder at least and not heavier and he's he's so focused on work and i mean it sounded like at least and not heavier. He's so focused on work. It sounded like, at least from the first person angle, he kind of did like a 1, 2, 3. Just kind of nailed all three of them and then just started rapid firing as the report was running away. There's no way to defend yourself against that. He's got a Glock pistol.

I couldn't tell if it was a 19 or a 17. But he's got 15 or 17 rounds of ammunition. He can shoot all day. And he had extra magazines. I know they found him. So he was in his car. He had disguises in the car, like wigs, sunglasses.

He had extra license plates to switch out on his car and extra magazines full of ammo. And I guess whenever the police tried to stop his vehicle he drove off the road shot himself um i guess in the head i don't know but then a manifesto that was talking about how like he really liked the um that shooter from was it west virginia virginia tech or something he was no he was he was very unhappy about what happened in south carolina that charleston shooting that in part motivated him he He talked about a race war. So he was talking about some of his favorite mass murderers, and he was really – I forget the guy's name because it's not an American name.

It was like Kim Sung-hoo or something, and I thought that was the – Oh, that's Virginia Tech. Okay, yeah, yeah. And he was talking about how many kills that guy got. That was back in like 07. And he's like, you know, take that, Columbine shooters, who got by far fewer kills comparatively and uh so he was like he called that guy my boy or something you know in in virginia tech and uh i'm like all right so this guy intended to get a lot

more kills than he did i i guess the police caught him too quickly if i had to guess i bet he was heading to get more of the... He was angry with the station he'd worked at. It seemed like he felt like he was being discriminated against for being both black and gay. Oh, he was gay? Yeah. He was angry about that.

I bet he was heading to the fucking news station. He was probably heading there so he could get in the newsroom and shoot the fucking anchor. I feel like we haven't emphasized the racist aspect of this yet oh totally 100% racist this guy this guy was going to get some retribution he was he wanted to get those white devils that's totally what he's talking about a race war in his manifesto yeah did anybody else hear the rumors that this manifesto though may not at or at least they were in the beginning. Now I haven't looked up or read the manifesto.

I only saw some headlines that went by that there was concern that it may have been forged. Taylor, have you read my manifesto? Your manifesto? Personally yours? You don't subscribe to my newsletter? I don't, no. Send me a free copy. Who has a fucking manifesto?

That's what they should do. Whenever you want to catch these psychos before they do I don't know send me a free copy who has a fucking manifesto Whenever you want to catch these psychos before they do some evil like forget registering guns You need to find the people who are writing manifesto Google man Manifest my manifesto anytime you see that hit go get go pick that guy up Yeah, they put like a like a trick line when you're applying for a gun it's like name address uh title of manifesto everyone who has none they allow but if it's like all right steve johnson 222 heather brooke lane manifesto jews the ultimate problem oh almost stuck through you little bitch like like yeah you shouldn't have nobody ever writes happy manifestos like page one but went to the homeless shelter i think everyone should be helped for people who always don't know this like here's the important part like so whatever it was july 17th or something

that guy did that shooting in it was a black church in charleston south carolina right and uh and that was racially motivated That guy was a douchebag too. So this guy got inspired. He's like, oh, you want a war? Let's go to war. Bring it. And I think I had the date right, like July 17th. Two days later, the 19th, he got his gun.

And then here it is a little month after that, a month plus, and he's finished his shooting too. This was totally a kill white people thing. Totally. I don't see how sharp that was. I was specifically angry with the people

at that news station. I heard Rush Limbaugh talking about him today, and I'm not going to go into his craziness because he's blaming the world to hear it. Rush Limbaugh blamed this shooting on get this affirmative action a russian limbaugh would never say anything like that though right he might it was uh it was absurd he literally blamed this guy he was like you know affirm

because of affirmative action this homosexual black man was put into a job that he couldn't uh he couldn't perform at. So he was surrounded by people who could perform at it. He became a pariah. He thought that people didn't like him because he was a black homosexual when in fact they didn't like him because he was an underperformer and he was dragging everybody down.

That's why he kept getting fired from job after job. And so he ended up blaming affirmative action. He said, it's cruel to do to this man, to put him in this job he can't do. So he used affirmative action to victimize him? He, well, he blamed, he found a liberal thing to blame for the shooting.

Yeah, I almost feel like he was pointing out He got his job because of affirmative action, and this is Rush Limbaugh's point. Right. Therefore, he was a chronic underperformer. They thought they hated him for being black and gay, but really they hated him because he sucked at his job. And if it wasn't for affirmative action, she'd be alive today.

That's Rush's point. So it's almost like affirmative action gave him a jaded view of what was real and expectations for his life, but yet he just was never good enough at his job. Fun fact, I am so impressed by Rush Limbaugh's ability to spout craziness and have millions of people

be like, you know, that crazy fuck's got a good point. I bought his mic. That shit happened yesterday, and he had that ready this morning. His voice and delivery is so powerful that I got the same mic. This mic, the RE20, that's what Rush Limbaugh has.

I was like, I want to say shit that people go like, oh, Woody's got a strong point. Well, you know how a lot of people have their box of greeting cards that they'll just like, oh, yeah, it's someone's birthday. I'll pull out a greeting card from under the bed. He kind of has this box of responses. Okay, black man shoots anchor. Okay, and then he pulls that out of his little box, and there you go. That's how it's ready to go so fast.

I don't feel like he made these up on the spot. I feel like every morning, like, have you ever been in the shower, and you imagine someone does something rude to you in line, and then you go through, like, the whole transaction of, like, no, fuck you. Yeah. No, take these. Like, he goes in there every morning, and he's like,

oh, what's today's scenario? He writes it out in the steam on the window. Black man shoots black gay man. Oh, even better. Oh, he loved that. He's masturbating in there. He's so quick. He's thinking about his response.

It's like when you think about that perfect comeback after the fight is over. He was so quick to point out from the news report, he described his apartment. He said that this guy's apartment was full of cat feces, gay pornography, and littered with unwashed sex toys. And at first, I was like, god damn it, Rush. Because maybe that's why the Apex house isn't selling. And I was like, you know, that's pretty, I feel like he's being very judgmental.

Like, I mean, first of all, guy's been dead for a day or two. He hasn't had a chance to clean that litter box, alright? Let's give him a break on that. Second of all, gay pornography? I'm not gonna judge the man's pornography. I don't know why he owns pornography. We were discussing this earlier. I borrow pornography and then I return it to the internet from whence

it came. Pornography is meant to be streamed. If you own physical pornography, there's something wrong with you in 2015. Like, you're a bit of a deviant. I don't care if it's the most tame Playboy thing, but if you see that at someone's home, you just have to think, like, you know, this is available. Like, there's better stuff.

You don't think one or two videos for internet outages, you know, emergencies? No, no. The reason people have those is so they can, like, cut the eyes out of women and make weird little dolls and marionette things about their fantasies this is this is just a fire to you know store it under yes under 10 of course I have you know like we do like a boring stuff you don't look here it's like Alice in Wonderland going down the rabbit's hole to get to my porn you got've got to go to like Taxes 2012. You open that up, and the taxes are there. But you open one of the files, and it's like old cell phone images.

And it really is old cell phone images. It's vacation shit. And then you open another file. You just keep going down the rabbit path before you get to like the, I don't know, the, what do I have in there have in there let's see just i know what's the porn star that's like 40 years old she's jenna jameson no no no the the super like milky one uh that looks like sarah palin the one from nalan palin oh yeah they made up she looks like sarah palin so they made a porno called nalan palin and she played sarah palin she's super hot I just want to know if Siri knows this she's a actress in nailing Pamela Ruski's like two Russian guys come on little time to put the cock in the pussy

like two Russian guys with who shank is like like double-teamer it's great they should have started it with the Russians looking out their window with binoculars seeing her undressing from Russia hop in a boat I've never seen like it with the Russians looking out their window with binoculars, seeing her undressing from Russia, hopping a boat. I've never seen it from the beginning. I usually skip to three minutes in when things start. As is tradition. Lisa Ann was the actress's name. Lisa Ann. She is

retired now, from what I understand, or maybe she only does masturbation videos, but Lisa Ann, top-tier porn star. I'll have to Google her. I don't know any of their names no taylor that's a rookie mistake you bing for porn yeah we learned that from the great wings yeah apparently bing has really optimized their porn search like they did it's a business strategy bing and porn are beautiful together and uh and and that's how you do it.

I've never binged anything. Go Bing and then images or video, whichever you prefer. And then just search whatever you want to see. And it'll link to every site that has anything like that. And you've got thumbnails so you can be like, I don't know, like lady getting trampled by amputee. Okay, that might be hard to find. But if you do it on Bing, you'll get like eight videos of it from various websites and you'll get it done.

Even better, AltaVista. You know, a lot of great porn on AltaVista. Really? See, now you're joking, but this is pro tip right here. Bing is porn optimized. I think there's a room of people making sure that Bing is that. Like they think that porn is the way to overtake Google

I was going to say, does Google have standards? They do, yeah, Google has like even if you turn safe search off Google's tame Yeah, you can't get that hardcore amputee porn on Google, you gotta go to Bing So do we have anything else to add to this terrible shooting? I felt really sick

when I watched it too. It was really terrible to watch that happen. I didn't know what I was watching when I first started watching it. Because, you know, it's just the lady doing the live broadcast. I didn't realize it was him. That's the thing. I thought maybe there was someone else like, oh, hey, they're doing a news report and was doing a video of it and he was

going to come from the side. I saw that thing for a sec. Yeah, well, you know, because he walked kind of down the walkway and then sort of turned around and come back the other way. So I thought it was just someone's perspective of the shooting. I thought we were going to see the shooter walk into frame, not that it was freaking him. Yeah, that was terrible. It's really awful.

I don't remember, did he get the gun legally or illegally? Legally. They said it on the radio, Russia's voice, you can't always tell. Legally. Legally. It was legal. Remember how many painkillers they caught him with? It was thousands of tablets.

Dude, he was going to the Dominican Republic. If people don't know, Dominican Republic apparently is like one of the sexcation capitals of the world. So he was headed down there with a suitcase full of Viagra and like Oxycontin. You have no idea how much Oxy this guy was doing, though. Like Stern called him out and went through the whole report and put all his dirty laundry out there in like an hour long of his show one time. And it was thousands of these pills. And he was pressuring this woman to refill this prescription of her husband and cursing her and threatening her. It was a whole thing.

He was taking thousands of OxyContin a month or something like that. Jesus Christ. Dozens a day, it seemed like, to make the numbers work. In the end, it seemed like it was tens of thousands of total pills and hundreds of thousands of dollars he had spent on that. You know, when you build up that tolerance... Dude, OxyCin can cause hearing loss What and he has hearing loss get this did you know that yeah?

They're like he blamed they pointed out whatever bullshit he blamed for his hearing loss But they were like but sterns like get this side effects on Oxycontin abuse hearing loss and loss. And it was just too perfect. So there's excessive masturbation and all that, you know, Viagra with that Oxycontin. You know what he was doing on the weekend. Now he's going to be blind with the masturbation. Oxycontin for the hearing. That's a wise tale.

We'd all be blind. Oxycontin. We'd all be blind. That's so much worse than even like Vicodin. House was in a pretty bad spot for a couple seasons but oxycontin that's not like you get too drunk once in a while that's like you're constantly fucked up if you're not a millionaire you can't maintain thousands of oxycontin one of my like whatever contractors employees kids or something came around and said that uh i forget if it was

heroin or meth but oxycontin is the gateway to it oftentimes. Like, you're on Oxycontin, it would be heroin. And that it's so expensive to keep up that you go to heroin. It's a much cheaper way to deal with your Oxycontin issue. Coming from the same place, basically. Are they? Yeah. Yeah, both opioids.

So, Kyle, you all ready for your survival trip dude i am really all right so we're gonna die we're totally gonna die i i i was setting up to film i was out in the field working all day the last two or three days uh i'm setting up for a for filming tomorrow and uh i had to move like 15 toilets by myself and stack them up. Anyway, I strained my back really fucking bad. When you were talking about Rush being on all those painkillers, I was thinking like I'm on a lot of muscle relaxers right now just to keep me sitting in this position.

So if I get a little loopy as the show goes on, I'll blame that for sure. But we're mostly ready. I'm going to be 100% honest. I don't want anybody to freak out, but we don't exactly have a spot to go yet, okay? Now, don't worry about that because we've got... Well, I'm filming tomorrow obviously, so I won't be doing anything then, but then there's

Saturday, and I've got Saturday. And on Saturday, I'm going to find us a spot to do our survival trip, which is happening on Monday. But don't worry, because everything's already in motion and there's no way to back out now. It's better that you don't have somewhere to go. When you're surviving, you don't get to pick your little survival novel. You get dropped in the middle of nowhere and you have to make do. So I say you just walk a preset amount, you set on your little pedometer like 50,000 steps, and wherever that is, you gotta survive.

For Jay's benefit. Is it weird that I'm wondering why kyle has 15 toilets no no i just i don't even question why he has things anymore it's for a shoot i'm sure they react well to bullets yeah but for here's the deal we're gonna it's kyle me dr chiz and then not playing by the rules, our cameraman who's Patrick from How I Became. He's going to have a tent or a tent cot or something like that. He's going to have camera gear

and food and all that stuff. He is not out there starving. Thankfully, we don't have to share our squirrels with him. Squirrels. That's what I said. I was like, look, I'm not sharing my squirrel with fucking Patrick He's gonna bring some Snickers cuz I'm not splitting it four ways. Yeah, I just not gonna hide I Tell you I you know how we're using these 22s to shoot squirrels

I'm bringing a shotgun and birdshot fuck it if if I chase away. Oh shut up you I don't get hard Fuck you. I love you though i i if i chase away your squirrel tube i shoot with a lever action iron sight cowboy style rifle then uh then i will break out the shotgun i have got to eat no i want to know go by kyle's uber strict rules because about nine hours in when he starts fiending for number five from Taco Bell, he's going to wish he had a shotgun there and a few pellets and a tasty squirrel. Like, that's, I want to see you guys cheat a lot, but only by yourself. Chiz can't know. You guys have to, you guys bring a lot of, like, stickers and stuff.

Yeah, he's shivering. You guys have, like, a bottle of wild turkey over there. Just like enjoying yourself. He's sitting there with like one of those nasty army rations. I would love to see him suffer. There's energy bar wrappers all over the place. It'd be feign ignorance. Empty boxes of cliff bars. I have lost nine pounds in the last like whatever month or something like that.

Maybe, maybe more. And you're about to lose more on that trip. I think so. I don't know. Like, I'm not sure. It doesn't stay off on survival trip weight loss, but it has to be fat that gets burned. It must be a step in the right direction. Well, some of it's going to be muscle too.

Yeah. You're not going to be getting a hundred grams of squirrel protein a day. So some of that is going to be muscle, too. Yeah. You're not going to be getting 100 grams of squirrel protein a day, so some of that is going to be muscle. For sure. Well, you can definitely shoot the squirrels with a shotgun legally. I probably should have known that, but it just seems so unsporting that I would think it'd be

one of those things I don't want. Oh my god. So prior to the last time I visited Kyle, I was such a terrible shotgun shot that it was kind of remarkable. Dude, they're not flying squirrels. They will be after I shoot them. He vaporized.

But like, yeah, so he would throw clay pigeons in the air and I would miss them. I got good last time. I don't know if I'm still good now. I haven't done it since. But on a bench rest or even off the shoulder, I'm a normal shot, but I don't know.

I worry that I'll miss with my 22. I'll still try that first. Oh, another thing I want you guys to do that I think would be funny is after every day of clips or whatever, you have to spend three three or four minutes like alone like uh blair witch style laying down with the camera just in front of you and you yeah you can a confessional and you bitch about how the other two are just really aggravating you like

fucking chiz got 60 pounds of extra energy hanging off his body and he's eating my squirrel fuck he can't sit around for a couple days? And then Kyle came in there, complained, shot all the squirrels today, didn't get to eat them all. We're going to transform Chiz. That's a whole other topic, but Chiz is going to look like, you won't recognize him a year from now. It starts on Monday.

But the smoking thing is going to be gone. Smoking anything out of the window. We're gonna get him doing demo and construction on a daily basis, sleeping schedule repaired, and he's gonna be a whole different guy. It's not a boot camp, it's a new life.

Is his sleeping schedule fucked up? Yes. I have no idea. Yeah, yeah. You know, dude, everyone on YouTube has a fucked up schedule. Like, there's just nothing to sort of tie you into normalcy. I go to sleep somewhere between 3 a.m. and 6 a.m. Dude, the big deal is when you, like, they go to the blackout curtains. Once you go to blackout curtains, anything can happen. Don't do it.

Don't do it. It's a mistake. That house that he's moving into, the guest house, it doesn't have blackout curtains anything can do it don't do it it's a mistake that house that he's moving into the guest house it doesn't have blackout curtains he is going to have a reasonable sleep schedule and it's going to do wonders for him physically blackout curtains all right let me take that back if you just don't give a fuck and you don't have a real job or a girlfriend and you don't really care if you gain a little weight and you just want some awesome awesome sleepy time because that's the best thing in life if we're being honest sleep black those motherfuckers out when it's pitch black and i mean like a cave there's something different about that kind of

sleep it's like being back in the womb it's zero light you you black out and when you wake up you don't know if it's 4 p.m or 4 a.m and you don't fucking care. That's what I love about where I travel. Blackout curtains are a slippery slope to pee jugs and the pizza guy knowing your name. You don't need that in your life. You need just to open the blinds. Who told you about my pee jugs? It was one time. I mean, everybody's used a pee jug once, but they don't make a habit of it. I've never used a pee jug, and I don't do it. You've never used a pee jug once, but they don't make a habit of it. I've never used a pee jug, and I don't do it.

You've never used a pee jug? You've never been on a long road trip where nobody else wanted to stop? Look, I used to be a FedEx driver, and I lived by the pee jug, a.k.a. Gatorade bottle. Did you ever have close calls where you panicked and you had to cut off the pee stream, or were you a pretty good lot of foresight? I made sure that there was plenty of volume left over in the bottle if you know what i mean i pee in my car all the time all the time and i i go like literally in the car though like right in a container in the car

no just right on the fucking seat yeah and always plan ahead like right so if i've got to make a long drive i don't have time to stop or whatever. And if I'm driving into Atlanta to pick someone up from the airport and I know I'm going to hit traffic and I might be sitting there for four hours, totally going to bring a Gatorade or a Frappuccino from Starbucks, one of those glass bottles, because my dick can fit in that bottle. Because if you're just trying to press the head of your dick against a 20-ounce soda bottle,

then you're just one slip away from pissing everywhere like that and you're driving so you can't stop that's why you need the gatorade you know the 32 ounce like big mouth bottles so your penis doesn't fit in the pepsi bottle absolutely what he just uses the size uh so you don't what about a coke? Does it fit in a Coke can? Oh god that would be a nightmare Large plastic pixie sticks?

None of that But yeah I do that all the time You guys don't use a straw? I always thought a catheter would be the worst thing That's what I thought of I've never thought a catheter would be the worst thing that's what i thought i've never i've never either yeah anyone a challenge but on the on the survival trip i i this one's gonna be better i'm very excited about having professional video um patrick has a whole spreadsheet of video ideas i don't know he approached us with it last time around and uh the issue was you know he's all

the way in fucking England. But this time around, we were like, let's make this happen. We've got to sponsor the show. We'll get him over here, and I think it's going to be really good because he's got all these great ideas. And it's not like he's got ideas like, alright, the gang gets together and they make a human pyramid.

It's not bullshit. It's like segments. It's like, let's make sure we film this aspect, that aspect, this aspect, and then get, and then follow up with that to sort of tell a story. We're filming kind of a miniature documentary next week. And there's no way that it's not happening because it's someone else's job to do it. So we can't fuck it up. I've even got it. Like, let's see, he has the length, like three to five minutes, how the trip is going to work three to five more minutes intro to the crew the equipment video show what people have in the bag to survive the armory the guns daily vlog videos 10 to

20 minutes pkn in the wild just like what is it on episode of pkn during the survival trip an episode of pka during the survival trip I bought some new equipment so we can do the audio in that properly Q&A cooking with Kyle Kyle shows off his culinary skills with the food caught but he has like a whole bunch of ideas here and how many of those videos we're going to have and like the schedule and it's going to be professionally shot and edited and it's going to be very excited about the videos that are going to come out of this.

I felt like we did a pretty good... We're only there for a day, but we had good videos last time. But it was me and you shooting each other with cell phones, basically. This is going to be great. This is going to be better than that. And it was good last time because it's interesting content. We're doing cool shit. It's a mix, right?

Because some people like the confessional type stuff and the sort of update and other people like the pro side he's got it all covered i'm i have very high hopes about bringing in a real camera crew and um from a pka standpoint like i hope this serves as a an example of what we can do. So the next time we want to do a PKA adventure, whatever that is, skydiving, go-kart racing, something or other, we're like, this is the kind of shit that happens when you bring us in. And it'll be easier to make these trips go. It should be cool, which is why we invested in a cameraman from England. Let's mention our sponsor, right?

What are they called? Battlebox, box i think or maybe we shouldn't well fuck we just did um yeah so battle box is a the business model is similar to loot crate in that they ship something to you every month but the difference is is it's survival and tactical gear delivered monthly. And they have a bunch of different levels and stuff. I'm sure we'll talk more about it in their videos. But yeah, so they're making this thing a reality and I'm grateful.

And I haven't got my gear yet. It's supposed to come tomorrow. Yeah, the gear. I'm glad that they're getting us gear because it's going to be like the little odds and ends that I just don't want to go pick up because it'll get expensive if I have to collect all that bullshit again. I don't want to go get another fire starter.

I remember we got into that fire starting bullshit last time and Wings was so competitive and look, I don't want this to be me hating on Wings. Don't think of it that way because I love the guy. Of course not. He is the worst at making fire and the worst part was he was fixated on Of course not. He is the worst at making fire.

And the worst part was he was fixated on it so much. He made three fire-making videos, and he discussed making the fire in at least two additional videos, and he was discussing the fire in every PKA that surrounded this time, but he never, ever made a fire. Not on camera. You'd see him striking it you'd see him putting sparks on something very flammable but we don't know that we unless you know something i don't go watch the video look look i here's what here's how it is he's got a

big pile of hay in his backyard and he's striking it even if he did set it on fire like that doesn't count because the whole idea was like go into the woods and find stuff there and make a fire with that because that's what we're doing. He gets the pile of hay. He strikes, strikes, strikes, strikes. You see a little smoke? Then the camera cuts off. Then it cuts back on, like a hard cut, like camera off. It comes back on.

It comes back on and all of the hay is fully engulfed. He's like, whoa, look at it burn. Look at it burn. That's a fire, boys. It's just like, that's a fire, boys. And it's just like, all right. You can stop making fire videos now. That's good.

Fire videos. It might just be that he found it difficult to film. Because it took him a while to start the fire. Shall I link you to my fire video? No. No, I don't want to watch anybody make fire. Exactly. This isn't the year two anybody make fire exactly the year two

but um i i know that i've done stuff where it's like all right sometime in the next 40 minutes an interesting thing will happen and you know maybe he missed the magic moment i don't know but um uh yeah i wonder how from shooting do you guys have a plan for, like, traps to set up? Shit like that? I think I'm going to make the structure much like we did previously. Oh, he was talking about food traps. Oh, he was, yeah. That's the only planning I've done.

I was like, I think the structure plan worked out okay. Um, traps. We should learn how to make a trap. I was asking Kyle, will there be a lake we can fish in oh that's a thing not legal no they wouldn't be real traps you would set up one of those like box falling traps you'd run over there with the camera shaking behind Kyle lift it up and find like a cheesy gordita crunch that would be hilarious imagine this, the camera's on me and I'm just like... And I'm like aiming up into a tree and I'm like, don't move you'll spook him. He's a big one. And then finally I... and you see something tumble out of the tree and I run, I run, I grab it.

I'm like, I got it, I got it. And the camera's coming from behind me, I can't really tell what I've got. And it gets up there and it's a Big Mac. He's like, I can't believe I got it. You can just eat it fresh. Just fresh. You guys need to both be there when it happens and then have a quick little like pseudo argument like, should we take some back to Chiz? No. No.

He doesn't have to know. He's had enough of these for a lifetime. We could take the contents of the battle box and have them drop in via parachute like Hunger Games like twinkle twinkle And then that's funny then yeah like a knife. I was thinking and Kyle could be like tracking something down looking for like droppings and he like moves from leaves and finds like a Pabst blue ribbon or something like cracks it open takes the drinks like still fresh you see a rustling and Someone has tied like fishing wire to a bottle of wild turkey. They loop it around a tree.

Then they start pulling it. Kyle goes off into pursuit to tackle it and take it back. Unfortunately, we can't actually trap stuff. There's a law against it. There's a trapping season and trapping permit. It's a whole other thing. We can't trap. It's not every aspect of life but when it comes to killing shit kyle is captain lol abiding um well like it's not necessarily if i'm being

honest like if you and i were in the woods doing this without a cameraman there if a rabbit jumped along blow his fucking head off and let's eat him if If a crow flies over a dove, like a partridge in a pear tree, I don't care. We're out here to live. But what you'd never... Yeah, I'll eat a crow, literally. What you'd never do... I wish I knew that. The problem

is that you're uploading it to the internet and we're kind of notable in one way or another. That's the whole point of this thing. There's like half a million of you who listen to this shit every week in one way or another. That's the whole point of this thing. There's like half a million of you who listen to this shit every week in one way or another. So we can't upload us committing crimes and show half a million people. Whatever I kill out there is a squirrel. I don't care if it's a fucking deer.

It's like, look at that squirrel right there. It's 200 pounds. In Georgia, you'd be better off shooting a black man than a deer out of season. Don't think there's no dark meat on the menu. No cannibalism on this trip. We've talked about this. No cannibalism. None?

No, none. No, you don't want to shoot a deer. They'll literally take your vehicle away from you. The Red Ranger would be lost forever. Yeah. You can come to Missouri and shoot as many deer as you want they're a huge problem like they you don't even have to buy tags is it there's no season or anything missouri come to the great state of missouri take as many days you please like it's like nobody cares i saw

i saw seven in my backyard yesterday really like and I'm in a relatively urban area. I got metropolitan area. We're going to see deer on this trip. We'll see deer on this trip. I saw a bobcat when I was back there the other day. I had never ever seen one in my life before and I've spent hundreds of hours in the woods. Fantastic.

So now that we go without any shelter, right? We'll be sleeping on like a pile of sticks. The bobcat come back but dude this trip is going to be awesome the the content is going to be incredible i don't know how many videos but something like a dozen ish and um or more maybe more because there's daily vlogs there might be 20 videos yeah it depends how they're cut up you know if if you're getting 45 minute videos then maybe there's a dozen of those i i could see something like that it's gonna be a lot of content and it's gonna be pro and i'm i'm psyched for it just yeah yeah just wish we had a place to go that's on you the only thing

you had to do you had one job dude i've been doing it so like let me defend myself a little here so basically i was in charge of finding the spot. And I don't mind, you know, I take on a... Everybody kind of has responsibilities around PK, everybody has a thing they do, and they just do it. Like Woody does all that graphic shit, so like, when he's struggling with it and huffing and puffing and like trying to make it work and get it right, I'm breathing easy, because all I had to do was memorize the ad.

But anyway, my job was finding the survival spot. And I narrowed it down to a big wilderness area. It's like 20,000 acres roughly, huge. So like that's not going to be a problem. And it's got these roads that crisscross inside of it, roughly 40 miles of them. Like you can drive for hours back there, it seems like. And I have driven back there for hours. I've been there four different occasions.

I've gotten out and hiked four different times. different occasions. I've gotten out and hiked four different times. All four times I've gotten out and hiked. I'm just trying to find a good spot to do it there. This question is not that important, but do you think your truck will be ready or will we take mine? I don't know. As far as getting actually back there, we'll probably have to take yours. I don't know if mine's going to be ready or not. It's still with the mechanic.

Taco will be ready. Yeah. Shit always works. Yeah. Because I guess I was almost hoping you said yours wouldn't be ready, even though it's going to be uncomfortable in the back with four people. I'll get in the bed. I just know that it's reliable,

and I know that the camera guy will be able to go there. There's an inverter in it. He'll charge all his gear. I just know that's's reliable and I know that like the camera guy will be able to go there There's an inverter in it. He'll charge all his gear like I just know that's gonna be fine So yeah, I'll get the bed of that thing. That'll be fun Yeah, that'll be part of it once we get back on this bet what you on those dirt roads It's it's you're gonna love those dirt roads like it's right up your alley It's a cool Fine on the dirt road and there aren't gonna be any people like for a while I was thinking about the nature of that place.

And just now, I just thought about it. One of the things I've been weird about is there's those gravel roads. And I've been trying to find a spot where you could walk for a long distance without even seeing that gravel road. But nobody's ever on that gravel road. In the hours I've been back there, I've seen two other people total. And it's just the one car that was I just happen to like meet them as I'm going through there and they're not like hiking they're not doing anything back there it seemed like

they were just kind of driving through there with his kids in the car like look at this look at that but it's a legit wilderness it's kind of mountainous mountain esque mountaineer what's? What am I looking for here? It's rocky? A little tumultuous? I like mountain-esque. Sounds like the name of a pioneer stripper.

I want to find... There's creeks with water, but there aren't any fish. I'm more scared this time. You should be. I felt like last time. I'm more scared this time. You should be. I felt like last time. I'm more scared and almost dreadful. I'm like, this is going to be awful. This is going to be very uncomfortable.

On PKA on Thursday night, I am going to be a wreck. And I watch these survival shows. If I could back out be a wreck. And like I watch these survival shows. If I could back out, I would. I'm compared to, like if I was watching this, I would compare me to the people on Naked and Afraid or Les Stroud. But those people are like good at this. We're not good at this. I have no training.

Like I was at the John Deere place today picking up an edger. And the guy asked me what I did for a living. And I was like, I do this YouTube thing or whatever. And I told him about the adventure trip or the survival trip. And they're like, so do you know anything about survival? And I'm like, no. That's the entertainment value. Like I've been camping.

And that's it really. I went camping once. Took an RV. Once. You guys. I went camping once. Took an RV. Once. You guys have only been camping once. I've been camping many times. I went tent camping one time last year. That was the first time since I was seven years old and I went with my Little League team.

Are you talking about the trip with me or a different trip? A different trip with my ex-girlfriend. We went camping in a tent at a campground, literally inside of the truck. That's the only camping I've done. I've hunted a lot, and I feel really comfortable going out there and finding us food. I can do that. I'm going to do it. You said that last time.

I can't wait until you do that. He snuck some herbal tea in. He's like, oh, I cheated. There's tea. Yeah, last time, I guess my cheating item was these little bags of raspberry tea, like hot tea. You'd brew it, and when I was sick, I was like, let's brew this fucking tea up. Maybe this will make me feel better.

Yeah. So what are your cheat items? I want to know what your cheat items are. I'm sure Chiz's are cigarettes to get the fire started. They better not be. He's a non-smoker starting Saturday. Yeah, I don't think he's going to be bringing any cigarettes. So I don't really have any cheat items. You know, I got my tools, right?

My tools! My cheat item is his shotgun. My multi-tool. Dude, that shotgun. I guess you're bringing your... I was going to offer you a shotgun because I got mine organized the other other day and i'm looking at the wall and it's like there's like eight shotguns over there i was like have one of mine but i guess you'd like to bring yours you've got i just like i like to build memories around my gear and stuff i only have to be funny like

like kyle's yours could be you bring in your fucking volcano from mount fuji face scrub or whatever. Or they catch you in the middle of the night, like embarrassingly rubbing like soot from the shoreline under your face. He's exfoliating with sand. So I just realized I'm on a, I want to switch internet connections to my house. Will that fuck the show up if I, if I leave and then come back?

It will. But I think the people will understand okay i mean i think that'll improve because i'm getting some like i'm getting some gaps in the speech and i feel like i'll be better if i do this so i'll be back okay he's standing there right now like yeah um but yeah man last time I wasn't really afraid I was almost cocky going into it and I wasn't who knows I certainly wasn't

fortunately for me my teammate was such a weak link that I wasn't really tested you looked great by comparison people watching are just like man Woody was rearing and ready to go after that 13 hour ordeal kyle was throwing up you know turtle blood or whatever the hell happened yeah yeah so like i don't really and you know when i watch these other shows a week in those people are still

okay like it isn't until a weekend that they really begin to suffer and start i don't know maybe not less drought less droughts whole thing is only a week long and you watch naked and afraid you mentioned the first episode i watched of that like the the guy and the chick who were there with their little satchel that's like their man satchel cleverly in front of their genitals always they get out there into a swamp and somehow this chick had the bright idea of like we'll split all the food 50 50 you know i'm a five foot two 130 pound female 140 pound female you're a six two you know 250 pound man like this guy was beefy and then at the end of the episode they showed like the side by side of like the progression

of weight loss it was like sarah starting weight 140 ending weight 127 it was like oh she looks pretty good yes they always do yeah and then the guy was like ted starting weight 252 ending weight 218 and the guy's like standing there like almost shaking his hands are blurry he's just totally had an awful time because she was getting one rabbit leg for every one of his. He was looking at her so angrily the whole time. It was great. We're splitting that shit up equally out there in the woods. I don't care what you guys weigh.

It doesn't matter. There's no, she isn't getting more. I'm not getting more. It's right down the middle of the squirrel. Right down the middle. Sort of looking forward to the fat loss. I'll burn some fat on this thing, no doubt about it. I considered, like, you know, working out or losing a little weight going in,

and it just seemed like a bad idea. Like, that seems like fuel I'm wasting. I feel like I'm going to need a little extra fat. So I'd say I'm coming into this thing probably eight pounds heavier than I'd like to be. I think I'm about 183 right now. I expect to drop down to about 175. I'll be looking nice when I get back. That's what you want, though.

You want to go into it with a little bit of energy to burn. With a hollowed out, emaciated look. Don't let me kid you. I'm still bringing some fuel. I got fuel. I think I'll have fuel when it's over. But hopefully less of it. That would be fine by me. Yeah. Well, I guess that's probably it as far as...

Oh, as far as... You mentioned cheating things. I'm bringing a bar of soap. Oh, toothbrush and toothpaste. I don't know if that's considered cheaty, but I'm bringing it. I didn't bring it on the last one. A bar of soap implies that we're going to have a lake or something. That I'm going to be bathing in a creek. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm not going that long without washing my face well then my cheat item will be a condom you guys should bring to the gershaw thank you for the consideration it's for chill I feel like fuck that I'm just looking out for me yeah I suppose I'll bring a toothbrush right like I don't know maybe i don't know if that's that i don't know that seems silly it doesn't matter it's gross i'm definitely bringing a toothbrush and toothpaste all right and you know the baby wipes and stuff like that i feel like that's pretty cheaty i the main thing in this is building our shelter uh you know keeping ourselves hydrated we're not bringing food or shelter. That's the core of it.

Or water. Or water, yeah. We'll have to find water. We're not bringing any water? We're bringing a bottle of water. I think I might bring a liter of water. And then we'll find the rest. After the first day, you're out.

I think that's how big an algae bottle is. 32 ounces or whatever it is. Are you bringing any food at all? Like a cheat item of a Snickers or something? Patrick will have some food. We haven't figured out what that'll be yet. I'll ask him when I pick him up Sunday night and we'll probably stop at a Walmart

on the way back and figure out if he wants rice-a-roni that he can make freeze-dried food or does he want canned food he can heat up at the fire? I don't, I really don't want to be sitting there watching him, like, heat up his can of beans, and, like,

sitting over there hungry. That's kind of bullshit. Make him bring, like, traditional British food, then you won't want it anyway. I like British food. I should, we should make him do MREs, but that seems cruel. And, I just thought of this. Patrick's gonna be part of the show, too. Like, we're, I think it's gonna be funny to, like, give me that fucking camera, Patrick. Like, look at seems cruel. And I just thought of this. Patrick's going to be part of the show, too. Like, I think it's going to be funny to, like, give me that fucking camera, Patrick.

Like, look at this motherfucker. Look at him over here. Look at him. He's dancing shit. That asshole shaved. He shaved today, that motherfucker. He's not surviving at all. He's thriving. Yeah, well, I think this thing's going to be great. I'm glad that we were able to get a sponsor so we can get our cameraman

from the other side of the fucking planet over here and get him to film this thing. Patrick's going to work out nicely, I think. Dude, I'm nervous, though. I'm scared right now. Right now. I feel like there's a school bully waiting for me at 3 p.m. I would back out if I could could i don't have a fucking plan i don't have i don't have any skills i don't like what the fuck am i good how am i gonna

handle this if you could back out right now like and like nobody would think less of you would you yes i don't yeah admission of defeat dude it's it's like we're gonna go out there i'll give it my all that's for sure like i gave him like i'm i'm pretty um i don't know like i don't know i don't quit very easily yeah like i want to go out there and look i i felt terrible last time about what happened. Like, I didn't want to like bitch out like that. I just couldn't go on.

I really was sick. And so I really want to tough through this. I'm not going to quit. If I was thinking like, if I get cut, like, fuck that shit. Like, we're going to keep going. I'm not coming out of there until the time is up. If we don't get any food, we just don't get any food. You can go weeks without eating and not die.

We'll boil acorns and eat them, like whatever the fuck. But we're going to kill stuff, totally going to kill stuff. My biggest challenge – so last time we went in there thinking that we were going to survive off squirrel and that there would be plenty of them and everything would be fine. Not only could we not find any squirrel, zero squirrel, never any hentai squirrel. That's why. They don't live in pines. I didn't know that.

But they weren't all pine trees, I don't think. They were. It was a pine forest. I couldn't even find an insect. I couldn't bait my line. I'm digging with my... I did have a shovel. Why didn't I use that? But there's a cheat item. I'm bringing a shovel for my poo hole. I did have a shovel. Why didn't I use that? But there's a cheat item. I'm bringing a shovel for my poo hole.

I always bring a shovel. Yeah. I have a shovel right here. You've got a shovel nearby, huh? But yeah, my big item. The big thing is no food, no shelter, no water. We're going to go out there and make those things happen. I used to do survival camping years and years

ago so i really i just yeah i mean well i i spent a lot of time in the boy scouts but then i went to survival camp and ever since then i just got like addicted to that sort of thing i haven't been in years but everything you guys are saying it's kind of funny because it's like i remember the first time i went survival camping i was like terrified and i think i lost it was it was actually a two-week survival camp and a 70-mile round-trip hike. We actually had to hike to a spot and back. It was like 35 miles each way.

You had to live off whatever was on the land there and back. It was a group of five people. It was different teams and stuff. You set off on different parts of the day. It was a lot of fun, though. It was a lot of fun. My shovel's much different. It's like a garden trowel, like this big. It's for hikers, and they wouldn't want something that heavy.

But we're not going hiking that. We're not doing 70 miles. Yeah. I like mine. It worked real nice last time. It's still dirty from last time. That's the dirt from Yuari. There it is.

Is that sentimental dirt? Not at all. It's the worst dirt ever it's got little vomit on it yeah that that was that was god awful um was that was that from the trip that got cut short yeah yeah yeah um long story short like i just i just got sick it was like food poisoning but i'm not really sure what caused it i swam in a river at one point and may have swallowed that water but it seemed really fast acting it seemed like right after i was in that water i started throwing up and i really didn't stop and till the next day yeah it could have been the water or he could have showed up sick yeah we're not exactly now this time he's showing up practically injured right

i really did strain my back it's i i think that'll be good i gotta film all day tomorrow so we'll see um yeah it should be it should be good i i'll it film all day tomorrow, so we'll see. Yeah, it should be good. It's not a serious injury anyway. I'll just go through something like that. I'm not going to pull a Wings of Redemption on you or anything like that. What if I did that? Like Sunday night, I was like, you called me. Hey, everything good to go?

I'm not going, buddy. What? You got to find a location. I will. Honestly, I feel like we could go out there right now. I have an idea of where we need to go. I know exactly where it is. There's a spot where the creek goes under the road.

There's parking where we could park. Then I figure just walk straight back in there. It's sort of an area where there isn't any road around it. I almost know exactly where we need to go. I just have to go out there and look at it. How deep is the creek? Like, inches, isn't it? Well, where it goes under the road,

there's, of course, like a pipe that allows it to do so, and so it spills into a pool that's right beside the road, and that pool may be be a couple feet deep, but the stream itself looks like it's usually like this. And it's a creek, or a stream. It's certainly not a river with fish. I'm not an expert, but yeah, that's where I was headed. I don't see much good fishing in there,

but there's some good bathing, it sounds like, right under the thing. I want you to make a vengeance turtle soup. Like, eat it. Yeah, if we see thing. I want you to make a vengeance turtle soup and eat it. Yeah, if we see a turtle, I will totally eat a turtle. We're going to cut its feet off, roast them up real good. I feel like I don't know what's okay to eat and what's not. Apparently, everything in the rodent family, which we're describing as our primary source of protein, is not good. Like squirrels can often be rabid and bad. No, no. You just cook that out of them.

You can cook the rabies out of a squirrel. Yeah. You cook the anything out of anything. Like think about it. You should bing that before you try it. I'm going to do exactly that. Let's go to bing. My dad's old friend was like, watch out. Some of them squirrels have woof. And I'm like,

woof? He was like, woof he i was like what's that he's like it's parasite his belly will swell up be all black and i'm like well i think i'll see that won't i like like i won't eat the one with the big black swollen belly then don't listen to kyle that he wants you to fucking eat crow you can't't eat crow. That's what I'm just saying. You're going to get violently ill. You can totally eat crow. You want to make a bet? I bet you can eat crow meat. I bet it's dark meat too. You can eat crow meat, but why the hell would you?

It would not make you sick. It'll make you sick. It would not. Alright, nobody else eat the crow except for Kyle, and I want to watch Kyle literally and figuratively eat crow about this. When I told my dad about this today, we were discussing this and how we could get food in the wild and all this stuff. He's like, the only way

I know how to consistently get animals in the woods is to call a crow. He's like, you can take a crow caller and blow that thing. Crows will fly over and you shoot them. And I'm like, I'm not eating fucking crows though. There's a saying, you know, eating crow like it's

because it's not good to eat he's like and my dad's old friend was like they can start me no i don't want to do that but they literally suggested like taking a crow caller which is like a duck call you know you blow on the thing and it sounds like a crow and calling up crows and shooting them but i'm confident that i will shoot a squirrel or two at least as i i've seen plenty of squirrel when I drove back there, like just on the side of the road hopping around nimbly bimbly and shit. I saw that bobcat. I'm sure there are rabbits and probably chipmunks and other rodents,

and there will be birds. Are bobcats in season right now? No, we won't shoot the bobcat. If a bobcat comes at you, you can shoot it. It's coming right at us. It was him or me. It's coming right at us. It was him or me. It's coming right at us. Yeah.

That would be great. If we see any pigs out there, there is no season on pigs. You can just annihilate those fuckers. That's another one that I'm told is very dangerous to eat. Like, they're often just, like, ugly meat with worms on them and stuff. I don't believe all that bullshit like i don't think so i first first of all i think you can cook like parasites and stuff like that out of meat like like i mean it's it's that that's the whole point of cooking stuff you get rid of all that bad stuff

that might be in it like i don't think it matters if the cow has aids mad cow disease whatever as long as you cook it thoroughly i think you can eat it. So following Taylor's suggestion, I binged, can you get rabies from the meat? No, can you get rabies from eating the meat of a rabid animal? For instance, if you kill a squirrel that happens to be rabid, cook the meat and eat it, can you contract rabies? And apparently, yes. They're both reported patients' transmissions presumed to the handling of

infected brain material there are also prophylaxis applied to a group who drank unpasteurized milk from an infected cow I don't understand what the hell does yes mean it says can you get rabies and then he says can you cook it out

you can't cook it out that's what I was saying I don't think you can cook rabies out you can cook it out you you cook it out? You can't cook it out. That's what I was saying. I don't think you can cook rabies out. You can cook it out. You can cook AIDS out. AIDS is weaker than rabies. Is it? Well, if they were in a fight. If I were in some government lab,

I'd create some sort of super rabies as a biological weapon and turn another country into zombies. Squirrel rabies in the USA is almost non-existent. Yeah, they eat each other. So apparently squirrels are not often rabid. I've been misled by naked and afraid.

Everyone wants to talk about this animal or that animal being rabid. Everything can be rabid. I guess some animals can carry it. They make it seem like raccoons carry it as if they're, like, in a carrier or something that won't be killed by it, but I think they still die from it, so that doesn't really make sense.

In any case, just fucking cook them, and we'll see it. If I've seen rabid animals, you know it immediately. Like, you're like, oh, shit, rabid thing, kill it. I've seen rabids, uh, I saw a rabid raccoon one time. It was immediately evident that that raccoon has rabies. It was the middle of the day, a rabid raccoon one time it was immediately evident that that raccoon has rabies it was the middle of the day and it was stumbling around like it was drunk

it was like gun that thing down and bury it somewhere um we're not going to worry about that it won't be an issue you're uh you're i'm more worried about you blasting through the forest with your 12 gauge really why would you be worried about that i think it's gonna be great i'm really looking forward to this i can i can't wait till the hunting starts that's gonna be the best that's gonna be the best part i i just i we're gonna be hungry i wonder what pka on thursday is gonna be like i picture us just like around the fire laying on our backs wishing it was tomorrow yeah so how are you doing it on thursday uh basically live like there's gonna be a cameraman there and we're gonna have a bunch of lav mics and uh it might not be four hours i probably won't

be four hours like we don't have topics or like the internet or any of those things i think it's gonna be great we'll sit around the campfire. We'll tell some campfire stories. We'll talk about what we're doing out there. We'll talk about our experiences that day. And I think that'll amount to like two or three hours of talk at least. No, but that's with your energy right now saying that. You're going to get half an hour into that Thursday one and be like, this is fucking bullshit.

All the squirrels gone. Can you eat squirrel fur? Yeah, thinking about eating shiz. I think we're going to do just fine. As long as we kill some squirrels. I got to watch a video to remind myself how to clean and gut a squirrel. You said that a week ago. Well, I watched one of the rabbit.

I actually saved the gif. Have you ever seen it? You basically like, all right, so you like start with its neck, and you just sort of wring it out until everything shoots at its asshole. I have seen that, actually. Yeah. I just have this idea that it won't work for me, that I'll squeeze the rabbit, and it's not just going to pop.

It'll explode. Yeah. It's not that hard. I've done it. Oh, okay. Why aren't you on this trip? You sound really useful. Is it too late to get you in?

We need a rabbit squeezer. No, it's just what you said. You squeeze laterally. You don't want to just have a big handful of broken bones in every part of the rabbit. So you just squeeze it like toothpaste, like the ribs in. And you'll think, like, this isn't going to fucking work. And then you... I only did it once with my grandpa watching me. Then you squeeze the last bit

and it's almost like a zit where it's like you feel the pressure build and then just... And it's just a weird cacophony of different colored tubes. Everything comes out. And lots of smells, I imagine. I mean, they just eat grass and small it's not so it's not bad it's like cow shit i gutted a deer one time with my dad and i did not enjoy that i

just really didn't i i knew then and even he was saying i hate doing this i hate this i like i only saw him do it the once is it the task or or the fact that it was something that used to be alive? Oh, it's the task. I don't give a fuck if it was alive. You are cold-blooded. It's an animal. It's a piece of meat. We're far too separated from the butchery of our food and the eating of our food.

When I go to Zaxby's, I know what happened. I don't give a fuck about that chicken. Fuck that chicken. When I go to Sonny's Barbecue, I don't care a fuck about that chicken fuck that chicken when i go to like sunny's barbecue i don't care if they rape the pig daily to make it taste so good it's a pig it doesn't matter to me they chop those things up they they they cut their throats and drain them alive in some cases they you know they shoot them in the head with those piston guns fuck them they're animals and they're delicious i respect that point of view and I can see where you're coming from. And I understand the hypocrisy in my point of view, which is like, oh, yes, I eat chicken every day.

But I assume those chickens were happily pecking around the farm next to the red farmhouse with their friend, the goat, and perhaps a talking spider. I'm not sure. I want to believe that they were in like a chicken Auschwitz and their death was a release and so in a way, it's for the best. You want to watch the chicken Auschwitz video? Yeah. Yeah, let's do that. But I also just want to

wrap up that thought. You're sort of like, hey, they're animals. They're not people. Fuck them. It's what I do, but not what I think. So, all right. Let's go to the... I have it queued up here, actually. Oh, could you link us all?

Because even I lost my link. Yeah, sure. So, there's... Jay, for your benefit. Yeah. I guess McDonald's and somebody else has been under fire for the rough treatment of chickens that make... That's the other company, right? McDonald's and Tyson?

That's the poultry company. I think McDonald's works with them, though, right? They're definitely linked. McDonald's uses Tyson chicken, yes. Okay, so McDonald's uses Tyson chicken, and there's some footage here that you're about to watch with us. What happens is you'll queue it up at zero, and then we'll all just do one, two, three, play.

What happens is you'll queue it up at zero, and then we'll all just do one, two, three, play. And anyway, you're going to see some chickens. They're probably having a bad day. Are we ready? Yep. I am ready. Ready, set, play.

Dramatic bullshit music. You don't work for PETA, do you? It's like Wacking Day on the Timpsons, though. There's probably misbehaving. It was a call. I'm here at the Tyson plant to get you some answers. So McDonald's is saying there's chicken in there, chicken. So McDonald's is saying there's chicken in there chicken. I see this and it looks awful.

They're killing chickens that are injured or have birth defects. He just used that nail as a hook. Well, he killed it first. It was flapping around. It was flapping when he picked it up. You ever heard the expression chicken with his head cut off yes Never there's an expression flop yeah, they flop around once. They're dead once their heads I think that they broke its neck right there. Yeah Look at that

You didn't see that there's gonna be like a massive chicken revolt isn't there Look at how many chickens are in there You can't expect him to take like meticulous care with everyone just throw the spike hook at it and get on with your day This is why Jeremy has such great forums. Yeah, it is. These are the buckets that Jeremy cares. Yeah Are used to you can see her blinking. That was a's still alive. He didn't do a good job. I should have done a better job. These are definitely not free range. This is how like 95%

of the chicken is. Now that is caused by a bad grower. Like they should be getting that chicken out of there. He shouldn't be in there long enough to get rotten. That's a chicken that's been stepped upon. That's a birth defect. Birth defect. Birth defect.

So, chickens, you were telling me before, they often, like, this is a common birth defect. Like, their legs are jacked up. Yeah, all of these are very common. These leg things, the hip dysplasia, the dislocated limbs, the thing where the chicken's head was like upside down and back this is different this is the legs yeah are because they grow so fast they

can't even support themselves a lot of the time so they're just loading chickens into crates here they'll be really tiny with that same leg thing like like freakishly tiny it's it's a it's something else it's a deformity of some kind so they just grab a chicken by the wing and throw it into a truck Well, it's gonna be dead in like three hours and like slaughtered so they don't care what happens to it at that point now That I can totally see is pretty rough when they're slinging them into those cages like that that seems excessive But what the farmers doing there as bad as it looks when he's whacking them in the head He's killing the chickens that aren't going to survive anyway. I'm confused.

So, okay, so this is basically just sort of like an animal activist video that's basically targeting both Tyson and McDonald's in this? I mean, they keep saying McDonald's, but this is all like Tyson videos. That's the chicken McDonald's uses. Yeah, and because it sounds better to be like, oh, McCruelty, than like, oh, Tyson. It's still a big company, but not as big a name recognition. Yeah. And Kyle was saying that a lot of this stuff to him

is just commonplace, everyday, the chicken business. I imagine that's true for cattle. It's true for any sort of... It's not like that. It's different with chickens because they do them in such huge numbers. You noticed how many were in that house. There's like 21 square foot per bird is the usual standard. And those chicken houses have like 25 or 30,000 square foot. So there are 25 or 30,000 animals in each one of those houses.

The reason they're killing them is because they're what are called culls, C-U-L-L. And it's common business practice always to kill the ones that aren't going to make it. Since there are 120, 200,000 creatures on one farm, percentage-wise there's going to be a lot of animals that aren't going to make it to two weeks, three weeks, four weeks, five weeks, six weeks. They're just fucked up and crippled and deformed in one way or another no when you have the pipe with the nail in it like that didn't seem like the wrong so the thing i wish i had mine i wish i had mine i don't know what's cooler i don't know what i want from them though right like so how i imagine a cow being

killed is they take this uh like a bolt gun like an air compressor thing it drives like a bolt into their head and the cow just sort of insta drops but i wouldn't expect that with every freaking chicken but what the cows what if they stick in their head through a gate and they're like sawing through the bottom of the neck and they really let the cow bleed out different places do different things different countries have different practices i'm sure you could find videos of awful i saw that video in china of them sawing that poor whale shark to death from tail to front. That was horrible. But that thing with the stick with the nail in it, first of all, what my father created many years ago was much more sophisticated. The handle uses a golf club's handle. So you got nice leather grips there.

And that fuses onto a piece of spring steel from the boot of an old car, so it can never bend. What's a boot of a car? A trunk. I call a trunk a boot. I don't know. You pretend you know. That Georgia culture.

It is. It really is. I guess it's a Southern thing. I refer to it as the boot of the car. Or the trunk, whatever. They used to hold the trunk of the car up. It's a long piece of string still. And it's just a long piece of thin rod. And at the end, first it bends back this way. And then it comes down, makes a bit of a crook, and then extends down to a spiky point.

So that you can, in one motion motion cut the chicken's head off or hit it in the head and and and you know kill it and in the next motion stab it and then put it into a bucket or a tractor or wherever it needs to go because otherwise you have to bend over each time and pick them up there's nothing wrong with what those people were doing it makes sense if there's that many like you can't just be taking everyone out to a wood block chopping its head off they have i read once like um what the poultry company like um the the the preferred methods or the um the approved methods of like culling them and separating the head from the body is one of them um but there were a couple of crazy ones where i was like who's doing this it was like

you had to put them in like a machine and remove the atmosphere from it It was like really who's got one of those Over there like oh Calm down The creators of this video I mean they're they're focusing in on the what they feel is the cruelty right, but they're their ultimate message is to be vegetarian because, you know, what's the ending slate there? It's keep food off, keep it off your plate.

So even if they were being treated humane, then they just have to focus on the fact that, oh, my God, they're selling chickens for food. One thing to keep in mind, those chickens in that chicken house, if you were to, like, free them, they'd all die in a week or two. Those things can't. They have no survival instincts. They have the instincts, but they got none of the tools. Their breasts are massive. They're super

weighed down. Chickens are supposed to be able to fly. They're not flightless birds. Regular chickens, before we did that to them and made them white, used to be black and red and stuff like that. If you got near them they fly up in a tree and if you fucked with them they'd use those those crazy long spurs to fuck you up a

chicken's a formidable adversary out in the wild fuck birds those those things that we just saw getting beaten down are just some genetic freaks that we created to make a lot of breast meat because it's delicious so let's keep eating them and stop worrying about their feelings yeah i don't get it yeah maybe they about their feelings. Yeah, they don't have feelings. I don't get it. Yeah, maybe they do have feelings. Who cares? Maybe they have deep emotional thoughts and they have a family unit. They are delicious.

That's all that matters. These vegetarians never have videos talking about all the rabbits and ground squirrels and everything that are killed by their threshers getting their fucking wheat or whatever for their nasty pseudo-meat patties that they ruined fourth of july with like it's just i don't know they kill a lot of animals too kyle just said if you put that chicken in the wild it'd be dead within a week and i'm like soon i'll find out if i'm any better like i've got all the tools to survive but no i have a great idea what if i brought what if i brought with us on our trip a chicken what if i brought stick one here what if i bring like a six pound live chicken and you know enough chicken food to keep it alive and at some point woody has to make the decision like we're hungry what are we gonna do

and we have to slaughter the chicken we'll name it and everything it'll be like a mascot that sounds great can you get him in a cage or something we'll throw it in the back of the truck no he'll hang out with us I have a cat carrier thing

wouldn't that be perfect to transport the chicken yeah that'd be perfect although honestly if you just blind them they won't go far that's what we usually do we'll just blind them real good and then they stay close you can go cluck cluck cluck and they think you're their friend and they just that none of that's true none of that's true we won't blind the chicken or anything like that yeah we'll put him a cat carrier or something and he could live with it

do you need one? do you need me to bring it? a chicken? or a chicken? no I imagine you got access to chickens I just don't know if you have a way to like transport and keep the chicken for a week I actually do have a cat carrier on my maybe no that's like a cat house maybe I don't know yeah you should bring something okay you guys are gonna wake up on night two to chicken shrieks and look over and see a mountain lion yeah the bobcat yeah that's what i'm like dude if you want to get fucked with by wild animals sleep with the chicken next to you let's bring a bunch of chickens surround ourselves in them that could be a thing to now that's one

thing we i didn't even consider like fox and i guarantee this place is swarming with fox and i bet there's coyote too like can we offer that chicken if he's making some noise That's the thing that chicken is gonna be our bait You can't eat Fox there. Can you? You can eat it. I don't know Big fucking squirrels like 15 pounds. Yeah, you guys just need to do like flash cuts to like every night at dinner every night It's a wildly different shape This squirrel almost looks like a fish.

Very flaky meat on this squirrel. This squirrel's wearing a shoe! This one's got a goofy 18th century hat on. This squirrel howls at the moon. I'm looking forward to this trip, man. This is gonna be good. I'm not looking forward to this trip at all. I am so fucked.

You'll do fine. Worst case scenario scenario is you lose a little bit of weight and you get cranky like or someone my bobcat come out I'm excited to see how Chiz handles all this because honestly I feel like I can go a long time without food like like the way my sleep the way my like um eating schedule works i guess is like i wake up and i don't eat again until like 7 p.m i eat like one meal it starts it's at 7 p.m at night so like i feel like i can go a full day without food like no problem like i get those hunger like a normal person's lunch because you said you stay up till like 6 a.m so like that's like me saying oh i'll wake up at nine i don't eat until noon. All right, so today I did that, though. I got up today at 9.

That's about as early as I'm going to get up normally, although tomorrow I've got to get up at 8. But I was out all day and I didn't eat. I think I can deal with not eating pretty well. I had dinner less than two hours ago, and I'm hungry right now. Better hope there's lots of squirrel in those woods. I am truly fucked about this trip. I'm really looking

forward to this coverage. It's going to be great. It's going to be great. I want the videographer to have every day start the way it does in The Shining, where it's like, Day two.

It's so dramatic. I like that, too. The Shining's my favorite movie. I love The Shining. I watched it last week. Yeah, I tried to get my girlfriend to watch it. She's never seen it, and we still haven't got around to it. I love it, but every time we try and watch it, it's like 11.30 at night,

and it's almost three hours long. Please don't Babadook it and watch five minutes at a time until you eventually quit. Yeah. The Babadook was... I don't want to see that. That was just terrible. That was too much.

But The Shining is great. The Shining is one of the best movies ever made. Stanley Kubrick, best director ever. Guy was a fucking genius. I love his 2001 Space Odyssey, all those movies. I'm due for a clockwork listen oh i don't like it i've seen i like it it's so creepy it's too creepy when caring for a little ultra violence yeah ultra violence rape your wife wanna sing your little song hey yeah that's that's too much it's too much it's they're so like it's just

they're just brutal for no reason and i like i don't even understand it really singing in the rain like somehow that is so creepy for people that don't know there's a scene where they go into a house and i guess rape or kill or beaten pill it's a home invasion and they do it to singing in the rain but that he's singing the song as he does it yeah singing in the rain and i think he has a cane and he'll just be like like doing the dance and then whap like hit a guy with the cane and it's it's just so in your face it's they end up crippling which don't they they? Which movie is this? This is A Clockwork Orange. It's kind of like American Psycho. Have you seen that?

Yes. American Psycho I like. Do you like Huey Lewis and the News? He always puts on a song and then he'll narrate everything. He's putting on the gloves and the plastic and grabs the axe. I've seen it four times. I still don't really understand it, I don don't think I don't think anybody really can cuz it's cuz it's almost like he's the it's almost like he's the editor and By he I mean Patrick Bateman the insane person

There's there's pieces that seem to almost be missing there's pieces for you wonder if that even really happened or if he or if he just imagined it and Leonardo DiCaprio was originally chosen for that role They offered him four times what the the rate was was originally chosen for that role. They offered him four times what the rate was going to be for that role. $21 million. But Christian Bale knew that

DiCaprio would end up turning it down because of the crazy nature of the character and pushed his schedule open for nine months because he knew that DiCaprio would back out. He nailed it. He nailed it. When he's doing that whole facial routine where where it's super fucked up and like they're doing something awful like that uh brutally beat and murder scene and rape scene and it's like a juxtaposition of that

awful thing and then they're just like dancing around like doing something happy it's just it makes it even creepier than if they were doing it like nefariously like in their face like i'm gonna fucking rape you or whatever they would say yeah it's about Christian Bale's the actor's name right yeah he does the body changes that's incredible if he needs to be big and buff for Batman he makes that happen he's Batman right and if he needs to be skinny for what was that the mechanist yeah machinist machinist and Oh, machinist. Yeah, you're right. The machinist. The mechanic. Close enough. He works in a jiffy lube for eight months. Everything works out.

Right? If you see him skinny. And he needed to be like a Brad Pitt type body for American Psycho, and he did it. If Leonardo DiCaprio was that guy, Leonardo DiCaprio, he's got one body type. A little pudgy. Skinny fat. Skinny fat. Yeah.

He does not ever get in shape for a role oh please tell me you know who you know who had an amazing body change that i it really freaked me out the whole time i watched the movie was dallas byers club matthew mcconaughey like i'm not even a fan of him but he was so freaking skinny in that movie i don't know it's like he malnutrition malnourished himself just to prepare for it he said what about the. What about Jared Leto in that movie? He was playing the transsexual. He made a fucking body change. And another one.

What's that movie that just came out with Jake Gyllenhaal? He just did that movie called The Fighter. Oh, yeah, yeah. So his schedule went like he did... What was the movie? Nightcrawler. He did Nightcrawler, and if you've seen Nightcrawler, it's great.

It's on Netflix. Highly recommend that um but he's incredibly thin in that he thought that that character didn't wouldn't have enough money to be spending on a lot of food plus he's always in his own head he wouldn't be eating a lot so he figured that character need to be all thin and emaciated so he lost 40 pounds for it or something like that then he has to make the fighter and right after that is Everest, which I don't know if the previews are out yet, but it's his next movie that's coming out where they climb Mount Everest and there's a whole disaster thing going on. But for The Fighter, he was doing an incredible workout program. The Fighter turned out not to be a very good movie, but

the amount of effort he put into it is right up there with all his legendary body changes. He gained like 40 pounds or something right back and put on a ton of muscle just he's huge really big and bulky did you see cape fear with deniro yeah dude that was amazing his body i wonder how do they do that like it seems like i wonder if it's if they're on steroids or something to To get that level of change. I've never seen Cape Fear. What did he do? Oh, he turned really buff. Robert De Niro is big,

strong, and ripped. Intimidating. You probably don't think of De Niro as a ripped, intimidating, kick-your-ass kind of guy. But in Cape Fear, he absolutely was. You know who got you know what got really buff for a while and nobody noticed it adam sandler yeah do you remember adam sandler's

remember do you ever see remember the zohan when he was like that israeli uh massad special forces agent in new york and he's trying to be a hairdresser but occasionally he like beats the shit out of okay bad movie i don't blame you. Google search real quick, Adam Sandler buff, or Adam Sandler in great shape, or something like that. He's got, I'm trying to think who to compare him to. All I'm finding are fat pictures on the beach. I try and bang it, because I'm not getting anything on Google. Just a lot of Chris Pratt.

What was the movie called? Then I might just find naked pictures of Adam Sandler. Oh, remember the Zohan? Yeah. Let's see. Just a lot of Chris Pratt. What was the movie called? Then I might just find naked pictures of Adam Sandler. Oh, remember the Zohan? Let's see. Yeah, here we go. I'm not seeing any pictures that make him the body I'd pick. Hang on, I got him.

Oh wait. Here you go. I might have one. Let's see what you got. any pictures that may hang on I got him him the body I'd pick oh wait here you go I might have one let's see what you got oh yeah same picture like in great shape he's got a sand football in high school and drinks 11 beers a day but still works out that's Adam Sandler though that that guy's like a skinny slash pudgy, just always out of shape kind of guy. Yeah, if I looked like him right now, I'd swap.

Yeah, he's in great shape. That one shot where he's got his hands above his head, he looks good. Yeah, he's got kind of a... I guess you'd call that a six-pack. It's a weird six-pack. Normally, six-packs are most defined at the top and least at the bottom. He seems more defined at the bottom than the top.

And he's like, there's a clear six there, but isn't the bottom six supposed to be one lower? Does he have a four pack? He's got a lot of side pack. Yeah. Yeah. His obliques are amazing.

I, his arms are really big. Try to find one that shows his arms. Well, like, like maybe down, actually, if you go down there to where he's actually doing that lady's hair,

like, and he's got his arm kind of in a... He's wearing a long-sleeved shirt in the one I'm looking at. For those of you on the way to work, we're looking at half-naked pictures

of Adam Sandler. Yeah. Soap off. Don't you wish you had the video version? Fucking yoked. That's not Adam Sandler. Those body changes,

they can be so intense. Like, even if you're in great shape all the time, but you go from a healthy weight of 170 up to 210, and then back down to 140 over the course of a year and a half, that has to be almost as bad for you as just being fat the whole time. Look at Val Kilmer. Look at Val Kilmer. That guy, he dropped all that weight in Tombstone, was emaciated.

He looked like he had tuberculosis. And what no one knows is Starting about eight years ago. He started gaining weight and he hasn't stopped and right now big He's very big right now, and he's getting bigger. I think this is all him getting ready for his next role I think his next role he's gonna be obese and he's just heading there once he gets there We'll see preparing for like six or seven years or what yeah yeah he's oh wow he's gonna play like a thousand pound man i think he's just he's on his way there 10 more years he'll just play wilford brimley the diabetes man that was batman that was batman that was a good looking guy too val kilmer

was a was it was an attractive man in great shape. And then something happened. Yeah, I mean the days of Top Gun are over for him. Yeah, remember that thing? No more topless beach volleyball. I'm trying to figure out how much of an excuse being older is. Look at Tom Cruise. Look at Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise looks amazing.

No, he's the opposite. Tom Cruise is the body of a 25 year old he looks fantastic a great 25 year old well that's all that Scientology I wonder if they're on steroids you know like if you told me that he had access to every cocktail in the world and he would make a

you know pro athlete blush I wouldn't be at all surprised like oh yeah and I wouldn't bother either he's a product right you know he's gonna buff it and shine it and he is the product I don't be at all surprised. Like, oh, yeah. And I wouldn't bother either. He's the product, right? You know, he's going to buff it and shine it. And he is the product. I don't think Tom Cruise specifically would do drugs. It seems like super – Scientology is very much against that.

Like, they don't even like modern psychiatry and, like, you know, things like Valium and antidepressants and so on. Also, if he's on – so so as a fan of the UFC, I am an armchair drug spotter, you know, and he has none of the symptoms, right? There's no bacne, no acne, no, there's a term for when they get puffy nipples like gyneoplasty or something, I forget. But he doesn't have that at all. Bitch tits. Yeah, he doesn't have that at all. Bitch tits. Yeah, he doesn't have the bitch tits. A human growth hormone has

a particular kind of like your cheekbones and head swell in a kind of way. Joe Rogan has it. They don't swell. They literally grow. Your facial bone structure and your skull literally keep growing. Yeah. And Tom Cruise has no

symptoms of that nope so he hasn't even gotten that weird toothpick maybe Val Kilmer's next role is gonna be about Chris Christie I'm looking I'm looking at pictures and he could probably pull it off dude speaking of amazing body changes Jay elephant there you've lost, did you say 72 pounds since we last? Well, when I last saw you guys, I was down like 15, but it's been a total of 72 since then. And that was February 1st when I started the lifestyle change we talked about months ago. But you lost, from your high, what are you down? Oh, 255 total lost.

And now you're down to what? I'm at 239 right now. And I was at 494. Jesus Christ. Isn't that amazing? But I'm telling you right now, that lasts like 10 or 15 pounds. You used to exist with Dr. Chiz always on your back. Oh, yeah.

You had a big man on your back, hanging on piggyback style all the time. I was two Americans or three Europeans, depending on how you look at it. Do you still have amazing calves right now? Do you still have amazing calves right now? Oh, yeah. I actually have pictures of my calves.

I've taken pictures. Because I did it all with cycling, so my legs are just... Okay, so here's the thing. I have a funny story. I cycle a lot. I mean I do – I think the last couple – probably the last month has been kind of slow one because it's so damn hot and all the smoke and stuff. But I was doing about 15 hours a week on the bike total. hours a week on the bike total. I went to my gym the other day to show my personal trainer who helps me do the lifting three times a week my custom cycling jerseys I had made. I had the hashtag GoTeamJay and all of my Twitter followers who were interested in weight loss, they joined that and we probably lost thousands of pounds across the world right

now. I showed him the jersey and he didn't recognize me for a minute because he had never seen me wearing my cycling gear. He's only seen me wearing oversized gym clothes because I was too cheap to go buy new gym clothes. I was wearing two or three sizes too big, looking like a kid wearing his dad's clothes. So he saw me wearing my cycling gear and he was kind of like, holy crap. And he's a professional bodybuilder. He's retired now, but he coaches now people who compete. a professional bodybuilder. He's retired now, but he coaches now people who compete. He's won Mr. California twice.

My next training session, he told me he's like, dude, if I had legs like yours, I would wear cycling shorts everywhere I went. He's like, it's insane how far you've come. Let me pull up a picture real quick. Now that you mentioned my calves, I'm proud of these calves. You're going to look at them now. I can't wait.

I know. Woody's about to be second place. First time on show the anticipation i know it's a lot but uh i wasn't prepared you said you were 230 right now 239 230 how tall are you six four ah makes more sense well my body fat right now is that is at 19 and we're shooting for 14 and A guy my size and my muscle mass, 14%, actually puts me pretty healthy. At 6'4", 239, I'm a 38 waist. You can see it's just dense and heavy all over. Not just in the head, but definitely. How is Barnacles doing? I know that he's made an attempt to join you. Jerry's got other things he's got to work on before the weight. I've talked to him about it quite a bit.

In fact, I just this last weekend was up there with him in Seattle. It's one of those things where he's kind of attacking the weight as being the reason for the depression. But the weight is, and this applies for most people. I think people will understand this. The weight for him is a result of the coping of the problem. So you can't treat the coping. You have to treat what's causing you to cope. So attacking the weight for him wasn't fixing the problem. It was just further putting him into a depression because then he wasn't coping. Now, I'm not saying eating unhealthily is a proper way of coping, but it's what it's...

It can also be a cycle like a feedback cycle right like it exactly you know the depression leads to the weight gain the weight gain leads to the depression there I just put the it's like just like a drug addiction yeah but yeah it's it's one of those things where you know if you're not if you're not attacking the problem yeah that was at the end of one of my rides so now we're my legs are getting a lot leaner, but somebody's comment was, you know, your calf has a calf. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.

I've enjoyed it. I spent a week, almost a week away from the healthy eating here. Being up with Jerry, you know, it was a different, there were some different habits going on up there. There was a lot of eating out because we were doing vlogger fair. There was a lot of on-the-go stuff. You try and eat healthy at a restaurant.

Even if you order a salad, it could be a 2,000-calorie salad depending on how they load it up. I came back, and today was my first 40-mile ride since I got back from Seattle, and it kicked my ass. It's amazing how fast you can also get out of the swing when it's not a daily routine.

So what did you do? What I'm going to guess is there was no magic diet, no Atkins, just exercise. We talked about this last time. When I was almost 500, I had a gastric bypass in 2009. Uh-huh. That's right. I remember. But like I was telling you guys last time, I was gaining the weight back. I had gained back 100 pounds from my lightest after having the gastric bypass. So it's just like

I was saying with Jerry is having the gastric bypass, it's just a tool for you to leverage to try and get healthy, to kind of give you like, okay, here's some help. If you don't use this, then it's not going to work. So I was gaining the weight back because I didn't change anything. You take that mentality of, oh, I can do whatever I want. I'm not going to gain any weight. Well, that's a bunch of shit. Anyone can get their weight back whether you've had your stomach cut up or not. So I managed to have a gastric bypass and still gain back 100 pounds. I'm like, you know, there's really something messed up up here if I can manage to do that. So that's when I finally just earlier this year went to CES again and was looking at

editing all my videos. And I noticed I was trying to be very creative with like all the recording angles. Like, OK, if I hold the camera this way, then my double chin looks less pronounced. And if I don't if I if I tell my cameraman like, hey, you know, chest you can't see my spare tire you know and all that sort of stuff and i was getting tired of it and then how much did you weigh at that point 310 okay and so my audience was really calling me out and then i did a dx racer chair review and you know there's no way you could do a chair review without kind of exposing your whole body and that was like an eye-opener because i had been on youtube you know two and a half years at that point And that was like an eye-opener because I had been on YouTube two and a half years at

that point. My audience was like, holy shit, dude, you need to get yourself under control because you could see from when I started YouTube three years ago until then, it was like, Jay, you're climbing the ladder again. So at that point, I said, screw it, you know what? I'm going to buy a bike. And I bought a bike and I bought a new bike since then. It's all carbon fiber and custom fitted.

I've put almost 3,000 miles on that bike just since February 1st. Nice. That's incredible. There's something I want to do and I'm training for it now. It's going to be hard. Where in the country do you live, by the way?

I'm 60 miles east of LA. Okay. I was just wondering if you're going to hit bad weather. Not so much. Not so much here, but in May I want to, and I'm really hoping nothing gets in the way. I do have a bad nerve in my back, which could keep this from happening, but I'm going to do everything I can

to keep it. I want to do a charity ride from LA to Seattle. That would be about two weeks at 100 miles a day. That would be about two weeks. 100 miles a day. That would be about two weeks. It would take, and I mean, I would have to actually ride through the Redwood Forest and over all the Oregon mountains and that's going to be hard. But I think I can do it though.

That's aggressive. A century a day is a lot. It is a lot. But I reached the point to where I was doing 65 miles every single ride. I was doing it in about three and a half hours with zero soreness, zero numbness, and zero back pain by the end of the ride. So it's just all about building it up,

building up the endurance. And the way I ride, a lot of people don't like to ride with me because when I get on the bike, it's like 110% from the moment I clip my feet in to the moment I unclip my feet. It's just, I'm just gonna go out there and do some damage. That's the whole point of it. Getting on the bike for me.

So, but like you said, when we got on the Skype call earlier, you're like, damn, you look skinnier. And it's just, I just kept on with the routine.

Like I said, I wasn't dieting. It just was a lifestyle change. And the weight loss was a side effect. How quickly did the weight fall off in the beginning? Starting from from the almost 500? I've always wondered. They say you can lose so much weight so fast when you start out that heavy. Did you wean yourself off, like, I'm going to go from a ton of calories

to a little bit less, which is still a lot, and then a little less, or did you just all at once? You know why you lose it so fast in the beginning is because while your stomach and your intestine is healing, you're on a purely liquid diet. Then you go from purely liquid to soft purees like puddings and smoothies and things like that, then to chicken broth and beef broth. It's six months before you can eat solid meat again. You're eating so little. I lost 100 pounds in the first month and a half. But then it started slowing down to all the way down to 20 pounds a month, five pounds a month, one pound a month, and then nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.

And then you gain a pound a month, and then you gain five a month, and you gain 20 a month. Because once you start getting back into your old routines and you're eating whatever you want, like I said, it doesn't matter if you've had a bypass or not. Nutrition and the way your body absorbs food it's the same regardless of what you do to your body my brother's just went through that process he had a gastric bypass i'm gonna make this up i don't know two and a half

three years ago and uh and just like you that restrictive diet like yeah he was oh it's great in the beginning you're like yeah i'm a fat losing machine but then beginning. You're like, yeah, I'm a fat-losing machine. But then over time, you're like, oh, crap. Yeah. Then he got back. And then I think right now he's near his peak weights. So it didn't – But let me tell you this though. Having had the gastric bypass, I did not lose weight any faster through the proper healthy clean eating and cycling this year than anyone who hasn't had it. It's like that trick is gone. That ship has sailed.

All it does is help with some of the actual appetite. But I was kind of surprised. I thought, oh, if I just eat clean and I get on the bike, yeah, the weight will just fall off again. No, I was averaging anywhere between 15 to 18 pounds a month, riding that many hours, doing 15 hours of cardio plus three days lifting in the gym while eating clean and taking vitamins and supplements you would think that you'd lose it faster having a bypass but no any any person without a bypass would lose it at the same rate it's just your body is acclimated and it just takes you know doing it the right way for things to happen he's under the impression that he like he beat the bypass and now it's like stretched and back where it was or something i might have it wrong it might not be a gastric

bypass but i think that's the one he had no you know what you know what's happening now i've noticed this thing um and let me just start off by saying it when i tell people i'm not ashamed to say i had a gastric bypass because it saved my life. But at the same time, I tell people all the time, the bypass doesn't work if you don't use it. Like you take a hammer, you break a window, you didn't use the hammer right. So I'm telling anyone listening right now might be overweight or considering it. The bypass is not the answer. It's simply a mechanism for you to leverage. The bypass is not the answer. It's simply a mechanism for you to leverage. Like steroids.

Yeah, you know, juicing. You've got to take it at the right time. It's one of those things where you don't actually stretch your stomach back out. I'm not trying to be graphic. What you stretch out is the intestine attaching to your stomach. So you've made like a faux stomach out of your intestine because it's got to have somewhere to go. But yeah, it's possible but he can undo that too if he just starts eating the right foods and the right amounts and and

exercises and stuff it goes back it really does like right now i can't eat anything like i could seven months ago i i hate to make excuses for him uh because i mean he he's I don't know how heavy he is he's I'll say 350 375 something like that um and that that's pretty big right like anyone can be thinner than that but he's had cancer twice so he doesn't walk very well and he has one right he has one lung and that makes following your footsteps for example a lot tougher for him but him. I don't attribute my cycling to being the weight loss. I attribute my cycling to me being able to breathe and having free movement and alleviating some of the back pain I mentioned earlier with the bad nerve. perspective, I went to Seattle last week Thursday night and got back late Monday and was almost forced to eat out every single meal except for one home-cooked meal. I still lost two pounds while I was out there because you end up with the proper eating

and metabolism, you still can burn lots and lots of fat. It's the food. The exercising is only 20% of it, roughly, depending on the trainer you ask. What happens is if you eat the right foods and you keep the carbs, the healthy carbs lower, let's say 200, 250 calories a meal, or not meal, but a day, you can do what's called carb cycling. And this is what I do now, because I'm now in like a shred routine where we're trying to get all the fat that's kind of like deep into the tissues out and it's a special routine to do that where you do say a 50 carb day, 50 grams of carb on Monday and then 75 on Tuesday and you work up to where like Friday you're up to 200 and then on the weekend you're just like 400, right?

And then Monday you go back to 50. So it's carb cycling. When you do that, you keep your body constantly in check and when it does see those extra carbs As long as you do something with those like go ride a bike that one day it turns into energy and not fat Wow all the way up to 400, huh? Well, that's usually like a cheat. That's usually like a cheat day or something But you could eat 400 grams of carbs in one meal though I need to look at like a box of cheeses because I have no idea

1200? Yeah, yeah. Go to Starbucks. You get yourself a Vente Frappuccino. You get like 1,000 calories there. Yeah, but the calories aren't the problem. It's the carbs. It's the source of the calories.

It's all sugar, I mean. Yeah, yeah. So obviously things that I loved that I don't eat nearly as much of anymore like potatoes or white bread and stuff like that. Those are my favorite things. Potatoes are my favorite. They're literally my favorite. I love these rice cakes.

These rice cakes are amazing. I'm crying into my hand while I'm eating dinner. It's just like anything else, honestly. It's just willpower. How's Jerry doing? Is he making progress or not so much? I think he was also at 310 where he was like, screw this, I need to do something.

He did that video about being depressed. He's all the way down to like 285 right now. That's awesome. He's plateaued there. And as long as he gets things in check and doesn't go the other way, he can still make lots of progress. Has he considered drugs for the depression? He's tried lots of different drugs.

It's just they all, he's kind of on a regimen of drugs and he's trying to find the right, I guess, like cocktail of drugs that's where one's not countering the other and making him feel crazy. So I don't know. I don't take medications. I'm an anti kind of medication person. So I really don't know what he's going through. medications. I'm an anti-medication person, so I really don't know what he's going through.

Now, as a member of the community of people who have lost enormous amounts of weight and gotten healthy, how does it feel? Do you feel like what's happened with Jared Fogle somehow tarnishes your name and your reputation as well? I don't know, man. I feel like I'm

one step away from Ashley Madison right now. Are you more likely to be a kitty diddler since you've lost all the weight? Did you lose the weight to look more attractive to nine-year-olds? It could be. They'll never escape you. But the gray hair and the forehead goatee, that keeps them all at bay. Now, did you go to a black barber? Is that what happened?

Did they square you up? Okay so I did a video saying that I've got this like obsessive compulsive disorder where I'm always like sitting here twisting my hair and stuff right and I don't even realize I'm doing it so I'll be sitting here editing and I'm like plucking out hair and I'm like god damn it and I'll get mad at myself so sometimes I create like an uneven

hairline so then I'm like okay well I'm going to take this beard trimmer and I'm just going to like straighten this out and over time I just end going to straighten this out. And over time, I just end up pulling so much of it away. I'm like, well, now I've got to let it grow back out so I can start all over again. Get five heads, six heads, and then you grow it back down. What it really was,

Woody, was last time everyone said that you and I were having a battle of the foreheads, and I was like, I've got to show Woody up on the foreheads. I'm going Beyonce on Woody. Oh, motherfucker. You think I'm standing for this? Yeah, so I mean, I've thought about even like buzzing my head and just being like, oh, it's hot here, so I'm going to buzz my head. But no, I mean, it's like I just don't realize I'm doing it,

and I pull my hair out, and then it's like, well, I need to fix this. And so I get to deal with like two months of everyone, every comment. What's better now? Oh, yeah. No, it's a forehead goatee. It's like the latest in fashion. Seriously. Wait, what is it?

Is this just stubble right underneath your hairline? Yeah, he went. No, but I didn't. So what he said was he was plucking his hair and then he would shave it to match the pluck point until he has too much forehead. I can't believe I'm actually having to like, okay, I'm gonna do a forehead review here no no all right so my hairline is

it's fairly normal okay and it's receded a little bit over here my I guess a little bit of Widow Peaks but I'll sit here and when I'm not thinking about it I'll just kind of like to start plucking out hair and not realize it so then I'm like oh I've got a bald spot over here I'm like well I can just like trim a little bit off the front with a beard trimmer to even it out, right? But then you go back to the plucking. You don't realize

you're doing it. So over the course of five or six months, it's receded like an inch and a half. And then I'm going, okay, well, either I'm just going to keep marching shit back down the top of my head. I think you should. Or I'm going to just let it grow back out. A reverse mohawk fuck hair who needs hair i'm just gonna slowly like pull it all out no so that's what it is and

then i'm left with this dilemma like do i buzz my head and just deal with everyone going why'd you buzz your head or do i continue to have fun with everyone asking you know it's like i can do this awesome review it goes viral right a couple hundred thousand hits in a few days depending on the on the topic like i had a viral video the moment i did this the first time like last year and all the comments of like the two or three thousand comments was what the fuck is wrong with your forehead but the more they comment on that the more hits and the more search ranks right so i don't know it's it is what it is i don't care it's just hair i used to buzz mine off, but I always look like a convict.

And it took me a long time in life to understand how to actually style hair. Or my hair, I guess. I probably couldn't do anything with yours. But, like, style my hair? It took me a long time to figure that out. I mean, this is all my wisdom hair over here. I wish I'd break out with some of that.

I think a lot of girls think that's attractive. A little Silver Fox kind of look. I'm all for it. If I could gray out right here, I think that'd be real sexy. I have a skunk stripe. Do you see that? I have a stripe. That's what I thought.

Yeah, because you need a young face, but with the gray. That means that, you know, still all there, but I've done some shit. I've been around the block a little bit. Not even a touch. Christine. I'll get one or two. Screw a touch of gray, man. It's such a natural. No, I started going gray when I was

14. So, normally I'll put, like, hair gel or something on my hair just because my hair is, like, really thick, right? And I just, I'm a 90s kid, so I do hair gel, right? And one person made a comment the other day like you gel your hair like it's 1999 I was like thank you I appreciate that that's a great comment uh but but it obviously it looks darker when I do that so every now and then I'll do a vlog

or something and I'm just like whatever like I just woke up and people were like holy shit you are really gray but it's it's a weird thing like liking styles like it i guess i feel like in high school you develop what looks good and you maybe even stay current for a few years past high school and then it freezes you just give up you don't like what i don't know if it's give up but i feel like whatever whatever i thought was attractive right like a button-down shirt and jeans in you know when when i was 22 years old just stuck with me and when i see you know other people wearing newer stuff or like floppy like big loose jeans or uh i don't know i just it i never think that looks nice we've gone full circle witty we're back to like guys

who can't get into their jeans or they're wearing their sister's jeans like i mean that was the thing like in high school like in the 90s, it was all about the big baggy jeans and stuff. Those Jean Co. brands. Just gigantic tubes of pant legs. Levi's 501. The button flies were kind of cool. They weren't tight, tight

designer jeans. They were, to me, cowboy jeans or something. I still have button fly jeans. Some of them. They're fine. Kyle, you've mastered your a tight hair now dude early FPS Russia videos showed some bad hair you and X jaws totally rock the Bieber cut oh man it was that's what my hair looks like without any not the current Bieber cut the early Bieber cut

yeah yeah long the long like wispy one yeah how long you shaved your head Kyle cuz I did the same thing for a while just I'm not laziness like freshman year of college and you saw your just shaved it but I look like a white supremacist with my eyebrow I can't look at black people not directly at I started when I was like 22. Like maybe somewhere in there and I did it. I probably did it for a couple

two or three years on and off. There would be periods of time when I was like it's so fucking long and it's hot and it's sweaty and I'm just like fuck this. I'm just like now I'll need somebody to scram me up in the back and I'm good again. I wasn't even a girl who told me to do it. It was my dad.

My dad shamed me into it. One summer when I came home with a buzzed hair, he was just kind of like, Taylor, what are you doing? Just have an adult haircut. Shave your head. You're not playing soccer in first grade. You're not a white supremacist. Just blow your hair out and put it to the side.

In those early FPS Russia videos, you're right. It is particularly bad. There's two hairstyles that I can remember. There's one that's when it to the side. In those early FPS Russia videos, you're right, it is particularly bad. There's two hairstyles that I can remember. There's one that's when it's just shaved. It's when I've buzzed it, and it looks terrible that way. But then there's the other one when I would let it get long, and then I would put some styling gel in it,

but then I didn't know what the next step was. So I would just kind of mess it up, and I'd be like, yeah, that's it. Sometimes it's just like, it looks like you just took some styling gel, went straight back, like back and forth, and then just went done and just went out there and like showed it to 30 million people. It's awful. I think I even put a caption in one of the videos like hard into the video, like layover text. Like, I know the haircut's bad, just let it go. It's bad.

It's just, didn't know what to do with it. Now I... Well, you know, I did it, the first time I had to deal with this last year when I was like, okay, I'll let it grow back. I held like a contest, like, let's see if anyone can guess what's going on and the winner gets something, go. And everyone kept saying I got hair plugs. They're like, Jay obviously got hair plugs.

Because it does kind of look like plugs. It does look like hair plugs, yeah. But no, I have just the opposite. My hair is so damn thick. I was going to say, it's the opposite of hair plugs. You did this to yourself. I did it to myself. I did it to myself. In fact, every time I get a haircut, I have to get it thinned out,

because my hair, I have horse hair. It's super thick. Yeah, I like those scissors with the thinning scissors that are choppy. Those are cool. Yeah, but every once in a while, someone is overzealous with them because I get huge tufts of nonsense out here. So they have to go through it there. And every once in a while, you get a newbie at the fucking Great Clips or wherever I go. And it just gets all spritzy.

And then for the next three months, there's like 50 longer hairs than everything else you're like an asshole you can't take scissors to it my my attractiveness has been under assault right like it first came the black barber who squared me up and i had to grow it back much like jay's going through now hilarious and then uh i thought for jay if you don't know that a a black barbershop would be the peak of style, right? At the time it had come out that – You're like Michael Scott. Anthony Pettis. Anthony Pettis is a UFC fighter.

He was champ at the time. And it came out that he got his hair cut three times a week. And I saw him, and I was like, maybe it's weird, but it's working for him. That guy's pimp. He's always kind of put together. And I'm like, I want to be put together like that. Black guys seem to be particularly detail oriented in how perfect their fade is and stuff. So I'm like, I'm going to go here where they take hair cutting to the next level, to absolute

excellence. And it turns out that it's not. They usually cut black people kinky hair and not your white bread, German, Irish, straight, thick, white people hair. That guy was smirking at the other customers there as he was doing it. And they so you just want this and you're just yeah no talking it's it's funny that you said that woody because when i was in high school i i went to a black barber all the time no no one time um so i walked in right i guess it was like the hangout spot or something it's almost like like watching friday it was like walking into fr spot or something. It was like walking into Friday. Everyone just shut up when I walked in.

That was the weirdest thing. I asked them how much was a haircut. They were like, oh, it was like $8 or whatever it was back in 99. You know what they were talking about? White people. Oh, yeah, probably. Anyway, I waited my turn and he starts cutting my hair. I thought it was weird because he did the back, he squared it up, did it around the ears.

He started squaring up right here and then started squaring up around the front and I'm like whoa. No, you don't do that. Yeah, it was just a little bit. It's not like he did this. I didn't go back and mention it. Mine did. Yeah, he fucked it up. I thought that was weird because forever I don't know if my standards

changed but later on I started going to some Mexican barbers and stuff because let's face it, white people suck with clippers and so I was like, well aren't you going to do right here? and they were like, no, you don't want to cut the side but yeah, it was exactly what you said, everything was meticulously, perfectly straight

so the worst part about Woody's haircut is once they were done doing that to Woody, he said alright, son, your turn I did, I'm so stupid you're next about Woody's haircut is once they were done doing that to Woody he said all right son your turn I'm not walking out of here looking like a match come on come on son we're gonna match no so so after the black barber took his run at it, then something else happened. I can't remember.

And then I got shot in the face by the paintball. That followed that. And then after the paintball thing, I got stung. See this knot? Yeah. That's still from paintball. Really? It won't go away.

Dude. There's a lump under the skin that I can feel. I feel like. It looks like a zit, and I thought maybe that's what it was at first. It's a hematoma. Yeah? I feel like the camera picks this up. Can you duke it out of the bathroom with it for a while?

At first? Look at that. If you see this on camera, I think it shows up better than it does in real life. But I still. There's a redness thing here that's not going away. Nice, Kyle. but I still there's a redness thing here that's not going away nice Kyle and I got stung by like a bee or something right on the same spot that the paintball hit that was hilarious I remember that I almost forgot the bee stung you right there in the head motherfucker yeah I was I've been that's part of why I lost weight um I've been in the stable doing like demo and and soon

construction almost every day, just out there swinging a sledgehammer and moving rotten wood around and digging holes and shit like that. It's a lot of work. But whatever. It'll get done. But yeah, so my face has been under assault for some time now. There's some events I can't even remember them all.

The paintball helps to distract from the black haircut, if anything. So what you're telling me is I've got to come up with just something more ridiculous than my forehead goatee to take their attention off of the forehead goatee. Yeah. We need some ideas. Or just comb your hair down straight. No, I tried that before this show. It didn't work. That's why I'm like, I'm just going to say whatgy because i i can't hide it mike tyson style facial tattoo

right just draw it on there with a sharpie and make no mention of it oh that would be hilarious if you draw it back in with a sharpie i feel i feel like i should just glue hair to my forehead right there i think you should buzz it all not not not the bald because you know you'd lose your progress but like hit it all with like a number two or something yeah that's what i was thinking like let this grow out a little bit more so that it all like line up and then just hit it all at once have you ever done that before do you know if your if your head is attractive or not have you ever the last time the last time i had a buzzed head i was like 400 pounds so it was a pretty round head but the thing is i i feel like buzzed head, I was like 400 pounds. So it was a pretty round head. But the thing is, I feel like buzzed head, of all the body types and stuff, skinny white guy, worst for buzzed head.

That's not what you want to do. That's one of the reasons why I don't want to try it. I'm kind of afraid to even. It's like because there's no going back, right? At least right now, I can just kind of live with it. And as it gets longer, then you can start to get more creative creative with it like my barber will actually blend it in as it gets longer I went to a lumpy head I've got like uh I got a big scar that goes from like here to like there but I've also got like I don't know there's a big flat spot here and like I don't know there's like

a protrusion like in the back on the back of my skull that just kind of sticks out. You got like a Jason Voorhees head or what? Yeah, something like that. Your father's got a good head of hair, so I would imagine you'll be able to keep covering that ugly hair. Oh, yeah. I think I'm going to keep it all. He's 62, I think, now, something like that. I saw him today, and I don't know. It's receded three-quarters of an inch, maybe an inch, something like that.

But it's not like, I don't know, it's not up here or anything.'s like he's lost like that much i'd say yeah my father's done pretty well with that too a little more in the edges you have a very low hairline anyway kyle or maybe you don't you just swoop your hair down well i got i got put in his hair look at that he trumps that shit it goes all over yeah his the problem with kyle is his face is way too proportionate The problem with Kyle is his face is way too proportionate. Yeah, it's almost disgusting. I know, right? Sexy Kyle. Stupid sexy Kyle.

What do you mean, proportionate? Well, for instance, when I wear sunglasses, my eyebrows are completely covered up. But I see people who wear sunglasses, and you can see their eyebrows. So I think my face is all squished up down here, and my forehead's all high up here. It's all about picking the right sunglasses.

I got a few problems. You can see this part of my eyebrow i can't i can't pull off the agent look like you do i just look like a pedophile or something oh i didn't you no one could pull it off until you just just get some self-confidence about it and be like you know what i'm rocking those glasses those i'm just gonna go i always thought that i looked like i didn't buy sunglasses until i was like a grown man. Because I think kids look so ridiculous with sunglasses. You see like those kids with like big Oakleys that are like oversized in their face. So I always wanted glasses that would like fit my face and look good. And like everybody always asks what I wear, but I love these.

These are, these are um, what Ray-Bans? But like, I don't know, this style. I don't know what style they are. But they're like $225 and they're my favorite. And I always get the same ones over and over. This is a junk pair. I don't wear these anymore because they're all... I guess since I wear the Oakley cycling glasses now, and I guess if

I can wear those and not feel too stupid I should be able to wear anything, huh? Every pair of glasses fits me like those old 2004 red and blue 3D glasses that have to bend out and you fold the uncomfortable paper over your ears. It's just it bows out. You can't see.

My head is gigantic. Next time we get together, we'll have a head off. It's a real fucking melon. It's quite the head. On camera, it looks pretty normal. We didn't forget. Don't worry. 35% of his body weight is from the chin-ups.

Do you have a basketball that you could hold like this? It looks like a tangerine. He's a real-life bubblehead ball. I went to school with a guy, and my dad, every time he saw him, would make fun of how big the kid's head was, and my mom would always bring it up, too.

And to me, we grew up together, so I didn't really notice but like my dad was god damn that boy's head big i had to get him a special fucking helmet look at it like a bobble head out there running around on the opposite my head's small so when i put on hats i have to like put them on the smallest setting because i put on it's like uh went all the way down you know to my eyes or whatever so my head is probably equally as small as murka's is big yeah like what's your hat size i don't know because i don't wear hats for the same reason but it's like eight or something like it's obscene like what's the i don't know what a big hat size is mine is seven and one eight seven and one and 1 8th. Is that good? I don't know if it's good. It's just what it is.

He wouldn't have been put on any trains in Germany. You go in the 7 and 1 8th camp. I don't know how big my head is. It's certainly not a melon like you got over there. But I think it's about average, I like like like you got over there but uh but i think it's about average i guess when i see a fitted cap they seem to fit i don't know so i don't wear too many hats i don't think i look good with hats on i don't think they uh i feel like

they complement sunglasses when you're actually doing sun stuff that's true it'll be like that guy that has his head on backwards and he's like holding his hands over like this at the baseball with the sunglasses on his head yeah yeah i feel like unless there's some specific reason to turn your hat around, like maybe you're driving a convertible or you're playing catcher. You're fishing or something. Okay. But mostly you lose the right to wear a hat backwards somewhere around 20. It's stripped from you.

Yeah, the only reason to wear it backwards is if if it's required if you have a catcher's mask On or your active or whatever like like sometimes if we would slap box like like where it's like boxing But we're slapping each other in the face You know then you turn your head around backwards, so I don't slap off your fucking head You know that sort of thing, but but like I don't know I could I can think of one right now I'll a dude that's like 30 and still rocking that. It's just lame. Yeah.

Don't do it. Don't do it. I want to rock a cowboy hat. Jay was saying he feels like he can't pull off certain glasses. I've tried on cowboy hats because I just feel like it'd be the ultimate mowing hat. You're on the tractor. It's hot out. It's sunny.

I like baseball caps, but they make me hot, and the cowboy hat fits looser. That's what I want. But every time I put one on, I look like somebody who's pretending to be a cowboy. It's not a good idea. Everybody looks like someone who's pretending to be a cowboy because it's 2015. Like, there are very few. Unless you're in Montana or something. And you got to know how to wear it, too.

Everybody wants to put it down around their ears. It's like it doesn't come down to your ears. You ride it up here, up high, casual. It looks good then. I certainly can't pull off a cowboy hat, I don't think. I don't know, maybe. I can't. When I wear it like that it looks like that little potato head hat. Just barely precariously bouncing on the top.

I can't hold it when I'm riding my horse. Have you noticed that trend coming back, though, of guys who wear their hat backwards, but on the back of their head? Like a yarmulke hat? Yeah. Yeah, it's like, I don't know. It's just so terrible.

I know these trends have been around before, and they're just going full circle, but I'm going to get arrested someday because I'm just going to snap one day, and I'm going to see someone wearing skinny jeans and a backwards hat on the back of their head and I'm just going to go ape shit and I'm going to take their hat and beat them with it

I talked about my sense of style getting frozen like the sideways hat thing I just can't get on board with it it always looks stupid to me and when I see a hat designed to be worn sideways because the thing that you read is off to the side so the bill goes this way but it's still centered, I'm just like, oh, my God. But do you remember how, like, in the 90s the thing was to, like, cup your bill and make it super curved and you would, like, put rubber bands and leave it there like that?

But now it's, like, you have to have the bill be super flat. I feel like no matter what, you're never – I can't be right anymore. Super curved always looked um kind of redneck to me so I wasn't really into the the ultra curve with the rubber to me to me the redneck was like the bend it was like v bent so it's like a v because they literally yeah uh I I don't know I just can't but it's not redneck unless it's like tattered and torn up though on the end mine was often tattered and torn up though on the end. Mine was often tattered and torn up. I wore a hat all the time.

Yeah. My hair couldn't be tamed. It was kind of long and it was damaged from the chlorine and like blonde on the end from all the salt water and surfing and stuff. And there was no getting a comb through it. So I would wear a hat. Some of them come pre-tattered. Have you seen those? Yeah.

They give it to a real man for six months and returns it for full price it even smells like unmasculine he wears it like working on cars i had a friend like on my baseball team and i was like in i guess sixth grade or something and he would take his hat and like rub it on concrete to get that frayed look and i never understood where it's like you can play baseball for the next 40 years and you wear the same hat and it's not going to get tattered like who are you trying to fool that this is a difficult demanding sport well it's difficult but not physically demanding mine would just get faded we get faded a lot and turn into a

color that didn't come in but that's because it got salt water on it that would make it fade a ton did we just randomly lost kyle yeah he said brb so and i think i see a shadow dancing off the back of that red leather couch so he might be back i'm not used to this whole i'm not used to this whole look at the chat thing and i should probably pay more attention over there, huh? I would like to see Kyle swap out that red couch with the one from the... Is it casting couch? Is that that series?

Oh, the black leather couch. Yeah, the black leather couch. Actually, I know nothing about that, but black leather couch. If he had that couch, people would talk about that forever. You know those are fake, right? Those are set up, not legit? No, Kyle. Was it really a newspaper ad? What? I feel like I lied to you. that forever maybe you know those are fake right those are set up not not legit uh yes it wasn't

really a legal paper ad what i feel like to like money talks isn't really isn't like a real thing well i think a lot of people believe that the casting couch one was real because we're all talking about the same guy the guy who blurs his face out the guy who's pretty well built um is bang bus not real either, none of that's real. My world is upside down. Do Czechoslovakian women just start sucking dick if you hand money to them? I think this is different, though.

The Bang Bus one, it's clear that they're actors and it's silly and stuff, but in this, he'll be recording before the woman's there and he'll be like, this chick's hot. She's like 22 years old, white chick. She's got a kid uh i don't know let's see what we can do here like he sets it up like like he's legitimately like pretending to be a casting agent fucking chicks i believe what's happening here is kyle

the only one that fell for it i know i've read the comments on these like like there was a whole conspiracy they i i did some research to to figure this. I'm part of the way that this whole thing was discovered. You see, there's one episode in particular where he's banging this blonde chick, and she's sucking his dick, and you can see her hand because she's jerking him off, and her nails are not done when he first meets her, and they're banging on the couch. But then they switch angles, and she's on her knees. Her nails are done. So there's no way it's really talented now

She got her nails done while sucking the dick like yeah, yeah, so yeah, I thought those were legit Maybe I was the only one let us know in the comments down below if you have seen these famous Casting catch videos the one this one in particular the one where the white guy who blurs his face That same black couch always banging these chicks. i thought it was legit at the first few i watched kyle i kind of feel like you might have been the only one who noticed the fingernail change no no i started talking to everybody else in the comments and we all agreed that like they were everybody was was was uh you know what's it called the movie's a continuity error continuity yeah yeah yeah wow in porn who to thunk it they have a group of people who are paid to look for continuity issues and they still get through every movie yeah i love i love those the ones i know about like in movies and stuff

like harry potter with the camera crew fully in view uh gladiator the camera crew was in the crowd i mean it's like lord of the Rings, you can see power cables. Yeah. Casino, there's one scene where they're in a car. One character's in a car talking to another who's outside the car. And Zippo is moving around the limo constantly every time they cut. And it's one of those things where they cut to this guy, then back to that guy.

This guy, that guy, this guy, that guy. Did you see Braveheart? There's like comm trails in the background of some of the scenes of jets flying over i have seen the harry potter one yeah yeah you see that the cameraman's like right there it's during the it's during the dueling scene uh i think it's chamber of secrets that's great yeah i love movies it's probably my favorite thing, I think. Oh, wow. Right fucking there. That's a camera.

Yeah. If you look up Gladiator, look up Gladiator camera crew, you can find some scenes of that there, too. They're just like... Also, too, in the Gladiator, when the carriage flips over and the tapestry flips out of the way, you can see the pressurized tank and

system that was there to pop it over on its side. I mean, everything is just like right in there. One of my favorite continuity errors that's just so obscene and right in your face that it's ridiculous that everybody doesn't immediately say say what the fuck is in Commando with Arnold Schwarzenegger. There's a scene where he chases this guy called Benny down this California road and Benny's in I think a Porsche or something. Anyway, the car gets flipped over on its side and Schwarzenegger walks over and barehanded rolls the car back onto all four wheels and suddenly it doesn't

have extensive damage down the side when he drives away. He's all of a sudden in a brand new one. I like those. I had one. I can't remember it. I was just thinking of it. I don't know. Some of these I know. Like the Lord of the Rings with the power lines and stuff.

I lost it. Sorry. My back is jacked up. Back jacked up, huh? Air horns wearing a watch. Yeah, it really is. So from carrying the toilets, you... Yeah, I was bending over and picking them up, and I just strained, like, it's my mid to upper back.

Poor form, huh? Yeah, it really was. And I knew it was when I was doing it. I just wanted to get it done fast. I was like, let's get these fucking toilets stacked. Because I had to do something with paint. That's a good trait to bring to the survival trip. Ah, the water's boiled enough.

It bubbled. We're definitely taking that water filter. I think part of our sponsor's package that they put out is a water filter. I think we'll have a water filtration from our sponsor that we'll get to show off. I'll get that tomorrow.

I was going to do a day in the life on Saturday, and it was going to include packing some stuff. But I think Chiz told me specifically not to show the gear that came from the sponsored gear. I think that's just because he has his own little vision of how this all should pan out. Exactly. He has a vision for how the sponsor stuff is going to be integrated into the videos and he'll be on the trip so he'll be able to make it happen.

Yeah. Yeah. Never mind. I'll say that later. Every now and then. See, that's a talent wings of redemption and never had never did that once when did wings ever go uh no i won't say that i'm gonna keep that card in my hand

uh between me and the group here then not the other half a million people i wonder what it is ah it's it's it's not a big deal it's here i'll type it to you quick and then i'll tell everybody about our our uh our sponsor tonight um it'd be funny if it was a patreon benefit to let them see the chat they would be they would be so disappointed BRB had to let the dog out behind the scenes is that like a euphemism or what time for the mid-roll right shouldn't choose be texting us that's what he normally does yeah I don't like some of the tone of his texts and tweets where it's like for the love of god

don't forget this take a couple seconds I know he doesn't just joking I'm more excited to see him in the survival situation than anyone it's gonna be wonderful guys I think that

the greatest moments of PKA, we're on the verge of them right now. It's coming next Monday. It's coming in a few days from now. When you listen to this, two days away. It's Saturday right now for you. We're scrambling right now. When you're

watching this Saturday night, we are fucking scrambling trying to get shit together. And on Monday, we're going to start a journey that's going to be some of the cooler, most ridiculous shit that we've ever gotten into. I'm packing on Saturday, so I'm going to load up a backpack with not that much.

And who the fuck knows. We're going to walk off into the woods with, you know, a backpack and not come back for five days. And that's saying something. Unlike the people that you normally see walking off into the woods and surviving off the land, we

don't know how to do that. Like the people who know how to do it, they get out there and they're like, oh, crayfish! And just grab it right away. I have to make sure that i remember to watch that youtube video about how to gut a squirrel otherwise we won't be able to eat like like like we just don't know how to do that right now there's gonna be a few butchered

horrible squirrels someone will make their way out there a little bit later and think there's a child future serial killer on the loose i'm gonna i'm kind of embarrassed about that i'm afraid i'm afraid of a potential video where Patrick's filming me, and I've got my fillet knife and a squirrel, and by the time I'm done, I look like 12-year-old Dexter Morgan. You just

stumbled into the garage, and I'm like, I don't know. I just had to kill, kill. Just feet will be cut off, and one foot I've cut just the fingers off of, and he's like, why did you just cut the fingers off? All right. Put it in a Ziploc with a couple stones.

I'm very concerned about this trip coming up. Your time is precious, and you want to feed your mind with the best of what's out there. But who has the time to sift through all that nonsense out there on the internet? So, for those of us who want premium content and don't have time to waste finding it, there's Next Issue. Next Issue is the mobile app that lets you tap directly into the world's most popular magazines anytime, anywhere, using your phone or tablet. Iconic magazines like People, Vogue, Esquire, Time, and more. And Next Issue lets you dive deeper into

the story with interactive content for a richer reading experience. You can sign up for Next Issue right now. You'll get immediate access to all the top magazines, including back issues and exclusive videos and photos. They also have the best content around the topics we care the most about, such as Car and Driver, Forbes, PC World, and Rolling Stone. And with Next Issue, we can read these straight on our phones anywhere, anytime. It's like having a magazine subscription to all the magazines. Absolutely. And you can start your free trial right now when you go to nextissue.com slash pka. Yeah, and it's on your phone.

It's fucking awesome. That's what you want, all the magazines on your phone every week. Current. Perfect. And we're offering you a free trial. So make us look good. Go to nextissue.com. Sign up for a free trial.

And I've got the list of the magazines that you can get there. And it's literally five pages of magazines. Printed at like 13 texts. So it's everything from entertainment weekly women's daily Vogue veranda vegetarian times Wow who knew that was a thing let's see I'm trying to see if there's any fun ones red book

outside oxygen men's journal men's fitness and help hot rod magazine glamour GQ really anything and everything you can imagine. All the most popular magazines right there on Next Issue right in your hand. Nextissue.com slash PKA. Link in the description, annotation on the side, and that's a thing. Oh, by the way, if you guys are interested in Patreon, that's a thing too. You can go to our visit.

I'll annotate that Painkiller Already logo over there. You can check out the Patreon benefits. One of the bigger ones is Painkiller Nearly. You get the video version and you get it right away. Ten bucks. Only ten bucks. That is a bargain. I promise you. If I were a fan, I would have the $10 one because the video for PKN

and getting it on time. Because sometimes we tell you things on PKN and it's like the first time that our audience ever gets to hear a thing. So like on PKN, like they're the first ones to know about the cameraman coming on the trip or, you know, really specific details about what's going to happen.

You get all that stuff. I'm sorry I cut you off. But PKN's a different vibe too. Like I kind of like that. I just wanted to add on to it i didn't wait well i mean you guys want to check it the first time woody came out as actually gay there's a vibe like like because i know like a hundred thousand two hundred thousand people will watch pka but in my head there's only a couple hundred watching pkn and in my world that's like an intimate group where i can say things and i know it's all just us

girls and you know it's a little risque and uh it's a different vibe pk is fun but with the sponsor i want you guys uh someone out there read vegetarian times and send us the funniest articles on there like the's it going to be? Third week of being, or third month of being a vegetarian, still weak and sad. I'm always hungry and my bones hurt. You know, I wonder sometimes if I would feel the same. If I knew that all those animals had like,

like, all right, so for example, dolphins. I feel like dolphins have, like, family groups, and they recognize, like, lost members years later when they're reunited, and they seem to have real emotions, like, you know, fear and love and compassion. You see them rescuing each other, working in teams, and,, and I feel like those are

so close to us that I wouldn't dare hurt one. I feel like it's tantamount to murder. They're just too close to us. But like chickens, those chickens, man, those chickens are roaches. I couldn't care less. And like a pig, especially the ones that we eat, like the ones that... Actually all the pigs. There aren't any pigs. Those little pot belly pigs I guess, they're kind of cute. And I've seen people train them and they seem to be as smart as dogs. They seem dog-like. Yeah. People tell me they're smarter than dogs. They talk about equating them to a three-year-old child. I've heard deer intelligence equated to a four-year-old child.

They say that deer walk carefully in the woods in certain situations so they won't hurt the plants. How would they possibly know that? Maybe it's because of the bobcat around the corner. Fucking loudfoot Steve made the mistake last week to not walk quietly.

They eat plants too. Are they that like pro veggie? That's what I thought. Josh, settle down. This grass needs to regrow. But I've shot a lot of those things and I've been up close and personal with them and like seen the life drain out of their eyes. And there's a little bit something more than there is with that chicken.

That chicken just seems like a shell a husk that holds meat to me the deer is is another level up uh he's not a dolphin yet for sure because i i mean i'm not filled with dread with the memories of the i don't know 80 or 90 fucking deer i've killed like you know i don't want to shoot anymore because i do feel sorry for them but like i don't feel like they're up at the dolphin level but they're somewhere in between i kind of feel bad for them they just don't taste that good if they tasted as good as pork chops it'd be different you don't think that venison is good it's kind of gamey it's it's not superior to any meats and it's inferior to most like i feel like it's like if you it's one of those meats where like

oh yeah if you prepare it just right and you have the right cut then it's like it's one of those meats where like, oh yeah, if you prepare it just right and you have the right cut, then it's beef. It's like, ah, well, or they'll say, yeah, yeah, it makes really good hamburgers, but add some pork fat to it. It's just like, well, what the fuck? I don't want to have to add... It's too lean for a hamburger.

That'd be gross. Yeah. It's too what for a hamburger? Too lean. Not enough fat in it. It'll fall apart. It won't stick together in a patty and cook. Fat too what for hamburger? Too lean. Not enough fat in it. It'll fall apart. It won't stick together in a patty and cook. Fat is what makes hamburgers good. I've never had venison, ever. People say it's gamey, but I don't really know what gamey means.

I've never eaten anything gamey. The taste is a little odd. Most of our meats taste... like beef to me tastes salty. And like, I don't know, that savory, bloody taste that meat has is kind of smooth. And it has a salty base. But gamey venison has more of a twang to it, almost like a little bit of a sweet. I don't know how to describe it, really. You just have to.

Twang and sweet sounds awesome. It's good. It's definitely different than a traditional steak. I can't say you're wrong, given that I've never eaten it, but I can say you're in the minority of the people I've talked to. Most people either seem like they're kidding themselves. Like a chicken. I don't think chicken tastes particularly good.

I never look forward to a chicken meal and be like, oh,'s good because of how it's prepared or what exactly you can wrap enough shit around chicken then all of a sudden it's like chicken with pico de gallo and fucking sparklers in those cartwheel pinwheels i'm talking about you put it in pasta you cover it in sauce you deep fry it and you then you dip it in a sauce and then you eat chicken chicken is just it chicken is toaster tasteless it's kind of yeah it's really about the consistency then the flavor beef on the other hand has a flavor pork like think about what like I like ham cold cuts like you know what ham tastes like it's very distinctive and deer is just another flavor it's it's just different my wife is getting really good at cooking.

Especially since we moved to this house. She could cook before, but since we got her in this new kitchen, suddenly it's like a thing that she likes doing. I got the tools. I got the talent. Perfect. She's got that nice kitchen now. And we really do have a nice kitchen.

It's pretty pimp, I think. And she seems to like it a lot. And she's like, sometimes she just. It's like an iron chef in there. Yeah, in Glee, she's like, I love having a place for everything. Right? Because, like, every pot, every pan, everything has a spot for it. And it's not all stacked up like cat in the hat.

And she just, she cooks well. And when I was young and I would hear someone say that they wanted a wife who could cook, I thought that was stupid. That's just one of the least important things to me in the world. I need a wife who's good at sucking dick

while cooking. But you age a little bit and you're like, you know what? Your whole life is better when you get a woman who likes cooking it's a step up I'll agree with that I remember your wife made this delicious breakfast casserole one morning that was really cool

I don't remember oh we went out I think we like got takeout for dinner one night I don't know if she cooked dinner but I do remember breakfast next time you come over we'll have her do a thing or. I don't know if she cooked dinner, but I do remember breakfast. Next time you come over, we'll have her do a thing or two. You mentioned pork, and it was like, I'm hungry tonight. Maybe that's why I'm losing weight

because I'm fucking hungry all the time. Jay, are you hungry all the time? Do you exist in a life of hunger? Yeah. Yeah, right? I eat a lot less, but I eat more often. That's how we're supposed to eat, though. What's your favorite meal if you don't give a fuck?

If it's your last meal, let's say. You don't care how many calories. You don't care about butter on top of butter. Which do you go to? I'm talking like a thick breaded Parmesan chicken doused in mozzarella and marinara and pasta. I like Italian. Yeah.

So like that would just be like. It's like a chicken parm. Yeah, but I'm talking like authentic chicken parm. Not like you go into some, you know, Italian restaurant here, you know, just some chain. Yeah, I want that chicken fucking hammered out thin and fried just right. I want it delicious. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Steak and potatoes for me and i want to i want to bake potatoes so filled with butter that if you dare pick it up it drips everywhere that's if you dare pick it up

it's sensually uh i'm hungry here's what i want for all right i'll wait i know the exact meal so it's a meal that i've gotten a lot of times. I think it's maybe a little low class. I think it's like... I think that a high class person would think that it's low class, but everyone else would think it's pretty... At Morton's, I like to get... I know

what I get every time. The whole, like, every course is the same every time. I want the same thing every time. I want a Coke to drink, first of all, because they keep pouring them out of those glass bottles into my glass, and I love that. I love that bread they've got. But also, I want the bone-in ribeye.

And if they do some sort of, like, fancy Cajun seasoning that week, or whatever, if the chef's got a specialty, I'll do that. But basically, I want a big fucking delicious steak. Medium rare. Loaded baked potato. And potato and uh usually get like you know um sides for the table there you get like the big ones so like i don't know the the i like their cheesy potatoes the potatoes are grotten but the dessert is the chocolate souffle it takes 45 fucking minutes to make and i like that and um the i get the cold seafood plat seafood platter it's like

$75 worth of seafood for the table but it's like crab meat lobster shrimp six raw oysters and a couple other little things all on ice in this multi-tiered tray and it's I can eat the whole tray by myself and I have before I'm sure Kyle doesn't live like this every day, but if you go on like a vacation or PKA adventure with Kyle, it's cost no object food. It's just like, yeah, we need to go. There's no reason to slow down on the food. That's what he did. Jay, here's what I want to know. Let's say you're hungry and you shouldn't be eating. You've already had dinner, like me right now, but you're looking for, like you just not go until't be eating. You've already had dinner, like me right now, but you're just not going until tomorrow without eating. What do you eat?

I'll just eat, like, I always have chicken breasts in the house. I'll just eat chicken breasts. That's not going to hurt me. What do you do to the chicken breast? Usually it's just grilled or, like, lemon or something like that. So you take, like, boneless, skinless chicken breast. How do you, like, put it in, like, a George Foreman or in a pan? Usually it's already cooked. My wife is really good at meal prepping oh that's that's super helpful i bet

yeah so it'll already be in like tupperware or something like that so i'll just take it out stick it in the microwave and put have something like quinoa or something with it uh oh you how can you stomach the quinoa i love quinoa quinoa replace rice nobody likes quinoa people are going to admit in five years when the fad passes that quinoa is weird and it's got shit to your rice. I had never even heard of quinoa until the wife one day was like, here, here's dinner. I'm like, what the hell are those little dot things?

And she's like, it's quinoa. Is it rice? She's like, no, it's different. It was surplus bird food at PetSmart and they sold it to a Whole Foods and everyone's been fooled. So what do you mix with your quinoa? Like do you put any kind of like a sauce in it or it's just plain or like do you mix with your quinoa? Do you put any kind of sauce in it? Or is it just plain?

Or do you put anything on it? I mix the tears, my tears with it. Yeah, right? No, I just like the taste. My wife, I don't even know how she... I couldn't even tell you how she prepares it. I really don't. But usually she would give me other...

There's other vegetables and stuff on the plate. So I'll just kind of mix it all together. You can mix yogurt and an avocado and make sort of a bootleg guacamole and mix that with the quinoa, and it's really good. I hate avocado and guacamole. I think that Merc is right. Quinoa is just shit to your rice.

That's exactly what it is. Get some brown rice and enjoy it. Avocado means testicle, and guacamole translated translated as literally um testicle sauce oh there's a lot of people who love guacamole yeah you google it old man put your glasses on no woody we didn't get your your last meal it wouldn't be steak and potatoes that's that's too boring That's kind of what mine is that's what it would be you know what I take it back to steaks to potatoes Do this shit, right? Don't want to be a big mess for the coroner like I'm not even kidding

I maybe I just maybe I just naturally like it for the moment I tried it for the first time, I really, really liked it. And my favorite vegetable my wife makes is a really nice roasted Brussels sprout. I can deal with that. Brussels sprouts can be okay sometimes. It checks out. Avocado. Avocado means testicle.

And guacamole means testicle. She steams the Brussels sprouts first, and then she puts them on the pan and glazes them with I don't know what, and then she roasts it. So it's really good. My wife, honestly, I have to give my wife the credit for the healthy eating because running a YouTube channel is my daytime job. It takes up so much time. If it wasn't for her and the meal plans and the meal prepping, then I probably wouldn't have been nearly as successful because she went to New York for two weeks to visit family back east and left me and my six-year-old here.

In the time that she was gone, I gained 10 pounds and lost it again because we weren't eating out or anything. It's just the meals weren't balanced and I think I was gaining like water weight. And so I was like, I stepped on the scale about halfway through her trip and I'm like, oh crap, she's going to come home and be like, you got fat while I was gone. So I just like bumped up the cycling and then'm like, oh crap, she's going to come home and be like, you got fat while I was gone. So I just bumped up the cycling and then started YouTubing how to make basic healthy meals.

So she came back and was like, how'd you guys do? I'm like, oh great, no problem whatsoever. But really I started getting fat and lost it again. Dude, being a full-time YouTuber, you mentioned about how time-consuming it is. It's a funny thing, right? I feel like everyone on YouTube is like, whoa, this job is a lot harder than it looks. It's a funny thing, right? Like, I feel like everyone on YouTube is like, whoa,

this job is a lot harder than it looks. It only looks like I work two minutes a day making my two minute video and this and that. But then you're like, oh, well, would you trade it for like nurse? Oh, no, no, no. Yeah. But I think it's different. Not as hard as a real job. But, you know, when you're doing product reviews, though, there's so much correspondence and so much prep work and micromanaging of my time. My house looks like a warehouse. It does. I envy the vloggers with millions of subs like, oh, here's my life. We're just out here having fun.

Hey, whatever. We're getting paid. And I'm over here having to do invoices and spreadsheets and all kind of you know pops and you know performance reports and it's like god damn i need to hire somebody to do this for me because granted i know how to do it i used to do it for my daytime job it's just that takes up most of the time the video creation part that that's not hard when i was doing youtube gaming all the time i envied the let's play guys like Like, cause I would, I would scour for topics and my comp, my videos were typically commentaries.

Like, you know, my personal thoughts about a thing over gameplay. And I'm like, you know, looking, I remember I did one on Google's ISP strategy. I did the mail Monday.

Of course I did all kinds of things. I just talk about something I thought was relevant and timely and share my opinion and wisdom or whatever I had to say about it. But then you get these Let's Play guys. Now, I would have to play for, I don't know, 30 minutes to an hour to get a gameplay. I would say every hour I got a usable game, maybe quicker. And so it's like, all right, I play for an hour and I do all this research and I put it together and do my my thing then you have let's players if they play for an hour they get six videos out of it you know there's 10 minute intervals they upload them all and and they'll cut it like right as like right at a climactic moment like oh god see what happens in part two with this let's play and they have some some silly end slate but no i i like the

hardware side of things especially for pc building and. I mean, my computer is probably more popular than I am. But the, like, graphics cards and stuff. I mean, if I just show you, even just like right there, that's a, where the hell is it? That's just a pile of graphics cards and things right there I've got to do just this weekend. And I do two things with those reviews.

I'll do, like, the base performance, where I go through all the suite of games that I use for the benchmarks and do all the metrics like how is the temperatures, how is the performance, all the FPS for all the different resolutions, 1080, 1440p, 4K. Is the card good for 4K? Okay, let's overclock it now. Let's go through and do all that again. But when you overclock it, sometimes you'll get halfway through your suite of benchmarks

and then something will crash. And then if it crashes again, it's like, oh, crap, I got to back it off and start all over. So like today, I emailed you earlier and said, hey, you know, I canceled my podcast. I'm ready whenever. But I went on my bike ride this morning at 630, got back here at the house and was washed up and done by about 1030 and then started benchmarking at 6.30, got back here at the house and was washed up and done by about 10.30, and then started benchmarking at 11. And I benchmarked for this one video I'm doing all the way up to the point to where you sent me the call for tonight's show.

And when we're done, I've got to go back to it because I'm not done. And that's just one video card, one review. And they're stacked up. I'm a month behind easily on product reviews. So you get a little bit, I don't want to say burnt out, I still love it or I wouldn't have quit my IT job for this. But it's one of those things where I'm not as excited when something new comes. It's like, awesome, a new video card. All right, there goes 15 hours total time right there. And it's like where the hell am I going to find 15 hours to fit this in?

Because it's usually, hey, this thing is launching next week. Can you have it up prior to launch? That's the part that's hard. Not doing the videos. I love the videos and the interaction with the crowd. I just wish I could do more of that and less of the back end stuff. Yeah, it sounds like high effort videos, all of them. Nothing is just a vlog. I empathize. I made very high effort, high effort videos all of them you know nothing that this just a vlog I am thighs I made very high effort I would I would never upload the

same gameplay twice if only I could just never only I could just have a channel where I took shit tons of tannerite and blue shit up for a living then you'd have it made those are a lot of effort, too. Then you gotta lug those fucking toilets around. He's in pain right now. I wanna drive a tank through a drive-thru, I'm just saying. That's the same tank

that that guy, the Jelly Bean guy, killed the guy with the other day. It was also an M5. What? Oh, I thought you meant the same exact tank that you drove it before he gets you know i i didn't confirm that but i i know who to call to find out i wish i had because that would make this story uh funnier it's it's likely that it's the same tank i drove that that just killed that man on the internet so i guess there was this uh family get together at i think he's the ceo of the jelly belly uh jelly bean company um when i think he's

like the owner as well like he he owns most of the company and anyway i think he was driving his tank and his buddy was on the front and his or a person was on the front fell off and basically went under the tread and got crushed. Yeah, smushed him real good. Is there a video of it? No video of that, no. But if you want to see me crushing a Jeep with that tank and taking it through a drive-thru, you can find that somewhere.

What would a good search string be on YouTube for a video like that? FPS Russia goes to White House Castle in a tank? Or just tank. If you search tank on YouTube, you'll find it. You see that natural segue, Woody? You see that? Like Kyle needs the views right now. If you want to know how to

build computers, you just come my way. We all know computers are cooler than tanks going through White Castle. I'm seeing that stack of graphics cards and I'm thinking me and you just come my way. We all know computers are cooler than tanks going through White Castle. I'm seeing that stack of graphics cards, and I'm thinking, me and you need to talk later. Maybe some of those need to be shifted over my way. What do you do with all those extras? I've done some giveaways.

No, I don't really sell them. I mean, I don't have to. I can if I want to, but usually, if something new comes out later on, I'll go back and revisit that piece of hardware so I can benchmark this new game or whatever, because I'll go back and revisit that piece of hardware so I can benchmark this new game or whatever. Because I have a matrix and a spreadsheet of all these graphics cards.

I have 29 of them right now in this office. Yeah, I'd be selling those. If I were you, part of my income, encompassing everything, would be the sale of things. At the end of that video, I'd be like, and if you want a used one of any of these cards, they're all for sale at my blank.

Go to blankblankblank.com, and there it is. Maybe they'll pay a premium to get your copy. Sign it. I've done that before. When I've torn down my computer, because that's my system right there, and I'll tear down some of the... I'll upgrade it or something.

And it's like, oh, if you want to own one of the, you know, graphics cards out of this thing. I've had people pay not only a premium, but well above what the card's actually worth. And then demand that I, like, silver pen sign the back of it. And then they don't even use the card. One guy, he bought the card, and then he put it in, like, a shadow box. And I'm like, that's just crazy. I mean, come on. I do a tech channel.

Nobody cares about us tech YouTubers, but he's like shadow boxing the graphics card. So that's kind of neat. I need a new PC. Fallout 4 is about to come out. This one's like four years old, I think. I think it's got two 580s in it or something like that. Oh, I have a 580 up there on that shelf of graphics cards, as you can see right there. I think that one.

I'm not even going to show you guys all my graphics cards. So he's about to ask for advice. Not really advice. I'm just trying to explain that I need a new PC. I want to... I don't know. I've got a 4K monitor that I'm looking at

right now that's currently set to 1080p for a reason. I'd like to have a... Yeah, you're on some ancient hardware there, Kyle. Yeah, yeah. It's four or five years old, something like that. I got it for free, though. That was nice. Oh, no, that's right.

They made me pay those anti-gun cocksuckers. They did? So, originally, they were going to give me like $10,000 worth of free PCs to incorporate them in a video in some way. And it went all the way through their marketing department. Everything was signed up. They agreed.

We met them in person in L.A. We had lunch. And then it turned out that the owner, who really didn't have much to do with day-to-day operations or that, or he didn't know about all this, was like super anti-gun and immediately pulled the plug on the whole thing, like just based on that. So to make it up, they gave

me the builds that I wanted at cost, I think. But even then, Kitty was like, is it cost? You can't get it any cheaper. And I was like, fuck those anti-gun bastards. I'll buy it full price. She's like, I'm printing it anyway. I'll pay for it. And I was like, don't you pay it for it! Don't you do that! And then she did

it anyway, and the PC sat downstairs, and I refused to use it for like nine months. It's kind of funny. Last year, yeah, it was last year, I had a buddy who runs a gun store out here, and he was like, hey, we just built a PC, so why don't we

teach you how to build an AR? And I'm like, okay PC so why don't we teach you how to build an AR? And I'm like, okay, cool, because I didn't know how to build an AR. So we did a collab video where we built the AR and it was a really cool video and then we went out to the desert and we were shooting it. And it's funny how some people just freaked out. They started emailing my sponsors like, did you know that Jay supports terrorism and school shootings? And they were sending some really crazy stuff and all my sponsors sent the email email like forward it to me and were like haha look at this crazy asshole

like they were making fun of the guy sending the messages uh but it was just it's just funny how they went after my livelihood because of their you know view on the guns but kind of build did you do like like did you start with components or did you like build a you know did you start with an 80 percent lower and like like like we're it was it was it It was a stripped lower You know I'll be honest. I'm so I'm so you just started with the components basically put it it was all it was all components Yeah, and then he bought like a Something I don't even know the brand names. That's how bad I am but okay

I won't go into it like I mean I wish I could tell you the specs, but I really don't know I just know it shoots really nice, and I with the EOTech I I know whatever I put the dot on dies and I'm OK with that. Did you keep the gun? Well, yeah, it wasn't. Yeah, it wasn't a sponsored video. I paid for all the parts. OK. And but all I know is we have the aluminum reinforced polymer lower.

I remember which brand that is. But it it shoots nice. I'm happy with it. I don't go shooting in a lot. I have something similar. I've got it's's right here there's a pile of a picture of it a pile of yours which ar is he going to grab today is monday ar it's his tuesday or thursday ar whatever day it is no he's got so many he can use mondays and thursdays on thursday yeah let's see. Have we seen this one before, Kyle?

Yeah, I made a video. This is the holding... Yeah, it's like six pounds or something. I don't recall exactly. This is the holding... What is this called? This is carbon fiber AR. That'll kill a squirrel. So like the whole 4N's carbon

fiber. It's actual carbon fiber it's not like a wrap or anything it like weighs yeah you need to go hunting with that just to shut up all the people who say you don't hunt with that i'd love to every politician living i'd hunt with this if we go if i go pig hunting it might just be this this it's got a geisley trigger in it um it's a competition trigger i can shoot this thing so goddamn fast. It's got this bad lever here. And basically what that does... I did a bad lever on mine.

So, like, normally when I want to drop the bolt, let's say I put my magazine in. I don't have a mag handy. Put my magazine in and I want to drop the bolt. Normally I have to come over here with my left hand and hit a release over here. But here, I've got it right here I dropped a link to mine in the chat. I don't have the spitfire site on there anymore. It's a neotech now

But yeah, I dropped a link in there, so it's the it's that Omni hybrid lower But it's the reinforced one because I guess I had one before like a first It's like a first gen that didn't have the the reinforced buffer tube And so they were breaking. But this one, the whole rear is actually aluminum and then just polyed over the aluminum. Yeah, I'm familiar with that. I like your rifle. The only thing I would possibly change is a different muzzle brake.

Because I think that's a standard birdcage. It's standard, yeah. We didn't get around to it yet. I actually haven't shot it in quite a few months because it's just been too hot to go to the desert. This one's really cool. This thing has has zero recoil. It really doesn't. I almost want to shamelessly watch the segment of me rapid firing this thing because it shows

that it's just... Oh, and the back of the stock is carbon fiber too. This is a carbon fiber tube with a butt plate and the buffer spring and all that's in here. I like that style. Yeah. It's different. You know, it's kind of, it's not what everybody would want. Most people want a collapsible stock.

Right. And most people want to be able to put their gadgets out here. But I like it. It's kind of minimalistic. It's got backup iron sights, but mostly it's just got the little reflex sight. I like this gun. How much would that, is that worth? How much does that gun cost as you have it in your hands?

Like $2,700, $2,800 I think. Yeah, see the budget I had on mine with sight was I wanted to stay under like $1,600. So I think all the parts came to, and they gave me kind of like cost on a lot of these parts. So I got the whole rifle for about $1,100 with all the parts. And then the EOTech brought it up to right where my budget was. But for an entry-level budget on an AR, it actually shoots really, really nice. I'm happy with it. Totally. Yeah, it's a lot cheaper to put your rifle together yourself anyway.

Yeah. Well, an MMP Sport isn't going to shoot anything like this does, and not to mention this has more upgrades. And what is it? The MMP Sport doesn't have a forward assist upgrades. The M&P Sport doesn't have a forward assist, I think, and it also doesn't have a dust cover. No dust cover, huh?

That was the two things I didn't like about the M&P Sport. It didn't have the forward assist or a dust cover. That's a nice rifle. I like AR-15s. That means a lot coming from you, man. I thought you'd be like, a piece of shit. I could pull my ARs out of my anus. I've got a bunch of them, but

they all do the same shit. Everybody's got their own fancy one. To impress me, you've got to do something kind of cool with your AR. I like when people really... I like SBRs. I like when they've got a super short barrel and they're suppressed and they're integrally suppressed. But I can't do a super short barrel.

I want to, but I can't. In fact, that's one of the reasons why I haven't changed the muzzle brake is because the muzzle brake keeps me at the legal length right now. And some of the muzzle brakes I was looking at were a little bit shorter than that one. So you can't do SBRs there without what? What's required there? 16-inch barrel. No, no, no.

What would you have to do to acquire yourself an SBR? Because I was talking to Richard Ryan the other day. no no no i mean what would you have to do to acquire yourself a an sbr because i know richard i was talking to richard ryan the other day you know he's got a dangerous weapons permit and a few other things but um but i know he can have sbrs i mean he's got drones that drop bombs on people literally i honestly wouldn't even know i know i can't even buy this stuff here to talk to to Kyle about guns, he is both... I don't know. He's positive about every gun almost.

And he's... It's like he's so... He's not a snob about it. But he's also... Well, that's how I try to go about the PCs. He's been there, done there, but done that on everything. You know, he's like... Everything is just an ordinary gun to him.

Everything is fine. I get it. I get it. I really do i mean it's it's just like you know i am to pcs kind of like kyle is to guns where i'm an enthusiast of the pc not just like i'm enthusiastic this pc and this hardware you know so people will send me their pictures and be like hey it's not as good as yours but it's like no that that's an awesome pc it's yours enjoy it you know yeah it's just different configuration you're getting the same place in the end. It doesn't matter how you do it. This gun is super light,

but it also has very low recoil. Those are two things that mean a lot to me. I can shoot this thing so fucking fast, it's almost fully automatic with my trigger finger. It's good for that. But then I got like three ARs in that room over there. They're just junk ARs. One of them is my slide fire AR. one of them's my slide fire AR one of them's my carry handle AR there's a 300 blackout AR there's

different tools for different things yeah my actual my actual favorite weapon that I own and I'll drop a link in here it's not a very close-up picture but you'll see it up on the top there it's an old 38 special that 38 um was actually given to me by my mom and that's a 1968 um fbi issues 38 special yeah that's original original original wood um i mean you probably couldn't hit the broad side of a barn 10 feet away with it um it's so that barrel so shot out but it's just one of those things where it's original wood and it still has all its patina. I'd love to pistol whip somebody with that.

Exactly, right? Just like an old 1970s movie. I know, like that episode of Sopranos when Coco said that nasty thing to Meadow, Tony's daughter, and he walks into Tony's restaurant with that.38, and the first thing he does

is knock all his fucking teeth out. That was great. It's about the size of brass knuckles i mean hey just hold it like that yeah violence talk here's a positive way i just watched an episode of scrubs tonight where uh apparently jd is he the skinny white guy and JD and Turk so JD goes down there Turk for some reason goes down the water slide and his pants come off and you know Turk is like the dude that the lifeguard said I could go and

he's like did the lifeguard say you could take pants off feel like I got pistol-whipped and I was like wow that's funny it took me a second somehow that popped into my head I like scrubs a lot Zach brass um it whatever happened with him crowdfunding that movie did they ever make that movie it was like a Jersey to or something yeah it's right exactly yeah I tried a few

episodes of scrubs I just could not couldn't get into it when did you did you start like from season one and Garden State it was years ago that I tried watching it I think the later episode of the middle seasons well the later episodes get kind of bad cuz they lose main characters but I don't know if I were gonna watch it like find the episodes that have Brendan Fraser in it I feel like those are Brendan Fraser yeah I won't spoil it but

those are good episodes you can spoil it I'm not going to watch it he's got cancer and he's dying and you don't find out until halfway through and it's kind of emotional with actual good acting within a silly comedy so it's like what show is this? Scrubs

Dr. Cox's brother his show is this i can act scrubs dr cox's brother is i think it's his brother his friend is played by brendan frazier who has like leukemia cancer something like that and he's dying and he tells jd but dr cox doesn't know and they had this little like three-way triangle of like kind of friendship where like they're sharing this guy like dr cox can't accept that his friend is dying he's angry about it and like he's trying to deal with it and it's an emotional episode it's good he's a very good actor uh brendan frazier or dr cox dr cox agree i forget his name but what else is he in i really i just know him from scrubs but like kyle said he shows a lot of range you know like the way that he like commits to a joke and it just becomes like,

even if it's not an instant hit, like he commits to it in such a way that he turns you around. You're like, actually, like he wins you over. And then, you know, he can do the emotional stuff, you know, like with the cancer episode. I've seen him in films, but I'm having a hard time.

Me too. Oh, you know me. Basically, the Zach Braff movie you were asking about was called Wish I Was Here. And it looks like he made it and they're calling it Garden State 2 and that's as much as I know.

They're calling it Garden State 2? Is that an insult or is that like the name of the movie now? Garden State 2? I never saw the first one. I just don't know. Practically speaking, that's what it is, but I think they're going with a different title. It wasn't meant to be an insight. They're calling it a follow-up to Garden State.

So they're just, you know, I think they're just explaining what the movie is. Yeah, I haven't seen it. I want to see what these crowdfunded movies turn out to be. You know what I mean? Because there's a Super Trooper one. I don't know when that's going to happen. But they had their big crowdfunding push for Super Troopers 2.

And it's going to happen. I know they didn't crowdfunding push for Super Troopers 2, and it's going to happen. I know they didn't get as much as they wanted, like their peak goals, and some of those peak goals involved getting the character who plays the chief, like the old guy who was like, give me the goddamn soap, and he bites it or whatever, that old guy. I feel like he's really funny, and he kind of tied that cast together, so it sucks if they don't have him. And I think another one of the goals involved them getting a real bear for some sort of bear fucking scene with a real bear.

You bear fucker. I thought this would be some of that, but I don't know. I'm looking forward to that. I want to see how the crowdfunded movie is going to work out. I have a PC question for Jay. So the new Sky League processors came out and they're all four core. Are the Hex and

OctaCore versions coming? I don't think you would see any Skylake E type stuff until maybe next year. Like the Enthusiast stuff which would be the 6 and 8 core you asked about would be on a whole different platform and usually

they're like a year behind the mainstream stuff. See, I don't remember this happening in previous processors. Maybe, I mean, I'm not an expert like you, but I just kind of remembered like when the 5000 series stuff dropped,

didn't the Octa and Octa cores and Hex cores drop, right? No, X99, there Didn't the Octa and Octa cores and Hex cores drop, right? No, X99, there is no 5000 series mainstream. It went from 4790K to 6700K, which is Skylake. So there's no 5000. The 5000 series right now is X99, which is 5820K, 5930, and 5960X. So those are all 6-core, 12-thread, or 8-core, 16-thread CPUs. But usually they kind of alternate.

Intel's kind of on an every-year release cycle right now, but it's kind of been shitty for the last three years. Intel hasn't really made any major pushes for anything. The 5960X, which is their extreme processor, which I'm running on that machine right there, was the main processor that dropped for X99, and that was running on that machine right there, was the main processor that dropped for X99 and that was the first update for that platform, you know, the six core and eight core platform. Well, they never had an eight core. So let's say

the six core platform was their first update in four years. They ran that X79 platform from 2011 to 2014. So here's the problem I'm trying to solve. Sometimes I want to use OBS and live stream and record at the same time. It appears that's asking it to encode twice at once. And I run short on CPU.

So if you wanted a lot of CPU so you could game and encode twice at once, where would you be? Xeon something or other? could um i have a so you know jerry barnaclis he he's running a system right now that has dual xeons in it so he's got two cpus uh my my 5960x which is a single eight core 16 thread cpu overclockclocked is beating his dual Xeon system in many many tasks including gaming and

live streaming and encoding because a lot of the stuff that you're going to be using isn't really designed or programmed to take advantage of things like Xeons and dual Xeon systems or what not so a Xeon itself like core for core is going to be about the same as a 5960X. In fact, the 5960X is

kind of like a shaved down Xeon, at least their first engineering samples were. But the overclocking of it really pushes it ahead in a lot of the applications you'll be using with the gaming and the encoding. Depending on what you're playing, though, there's a program I've used in the past when i used to live stream a lot and did live encoding

you know live streaming and gaming and i didn't notice any frame drops either in the encoding or while gaming using a program called dx tori and what that does is it offloads the encoding onto the gpu instead of the cpu because the c is usually going to be... OBS can do that too. Yeah, but I've noticed that DxTory does a better job of it. And then OBS will just pull in DxTory like a camera. It'll think it's a camera. I've done that. Yeah.

So, I mean, it really depends. But a lot of the newer games, though, they're not working right with programs like DxTory. It's one of the reasons I stopped. Like the hook, like the DX11 and definitely DX12 hooks are not working with those captures. That's actually why I stopped doing DxTory too. It just wasn't working.

If I remember right, it would stop. Like when I tried to record, it would only last like one second or three seconds and just straight up OBS. Or sometimes you would even get just terrible frame drops, even with the DxTory encoder, which is usually very efficient. You would get lots of frame drops, even with the DX Tori encoder, which is usually very efficient. You would get lots of frame drops and stutters in the playback.

I think that too, actually, now that you mention it. Yeah. No, it's still probably one of the best and smoothest ways you can do it is to have a dual system, a streaming system and a gaming system, and you capture it all on the stream system and have your mic hooked up over there. because that's such a pain in the ass is why i don't really do any games anymore online any streaming i should say hmm yeah i mean there's ways around it but if you wanted a single system to do all of it then yeah definitely the more horsepower the better but the the cpu is always

going to delegate the priority to the streaming software because that's a live encoding. So sometimes people think getting massive GPU power and stuff is going to fix the dropped frames in streaming. But that has nothing to do with the graphics card. That's just prioritization. So 5960X, you think. Is there anything great coming around the corner that i should wait three

months or you know based on the history like i don't know anything coming down the pipeline from intel uh if i did i'd probably upgrade this thing already but they usually wait like two years before they even bring out new enthusiast platform stuff hmm so now it's fine yeah i if people who ask me right now hey should i wait or should i build i tell them go ahead. So now it's fine. Yeah. Yeah. People who ask me right now, hey, should I wait or should I build? I tell them, go ahead and build now. There's nothing new coming. All the new GPUs are out. All the new CPUs out. All the new motherboards are out. So if you build now, you're pretty safe. And last thing, like you talked about your 5960X keeping up with Barnaclee system because it was overclocked. But I don't really have any intention of building the kind of water cooling system that i saw when you pointed your camera at it you don't have to that's just enthusiast great there i mean

it's it's because i'm an i'm a water cooling enthusiast but this the stuff now is so efficient and runs so much cooler than it used to back in the day uh when water cooling was necessary that you can get away with just like an all-in-one water cooling unit or even like a big air cooler, like a Noctua and be just fine and still overclocked. Okay. Well, some people probably love that segment and some would hate it. I think Mirka's... I didn't understand most of it.

I've got a water cooler. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, well, I appreciate the advice. I'm thinking of putting together a new system soon yeah and merca would you believe that there are millions of people out there who get off on that stuff millions millions well look at look at look at linus tech tips he's about to hit two million him i can i can believe that he's upped his production quality too that's got it he's got orange backdrop he's got a what he's got a full-on production crew yeah he's he's got his whole media group 10 employees i think he moved out of that house too yeah he's in a new i he was

up in seattle this weekend with us on this at this um vlogger fair but he uh he moved into a full-on court like commercial he should do it was hilarious like he did a tour of his place yeah which i thought was really interesting and he's like like, here's my network switch. It's sitting in the sink right now. He's like, here's the right-of-way. I do all my storage. It's in the bathtub. We turned the water off.

He had to move, though. I mean, it was like commercial violation because he was running a business with so many employees out of a residential space. It kind of had to move. with so many employees out of a residential space it kind of had to move that's it but the best but the business grew so fast like faster than he anticipated it was kind of like you know growing pains he was forced to move out of there very quickly and uh yeah it i i wonder where his revenue streams are coming from and stuff like like you know 10 people is a lot to employ you know like a lot of youtube channels that are successful if you drop 10 employees on it suddenly they'd be breaking even if that who knows well i mean i know i know a lot of the tech youtubers you know once you break

into a certain size you know we all have the same type of revenue streams in fact we all have pretty much like the exact same revenue streams but it can be as diversified as eight different streams. The YouTube income is... At once? At once, yeah. Right now, the YouTube is not my main source of income. The actual ads and stuff.

Yeah, there's something else coming in elsewhere. It's advertising space. We advertise on the videos obviously they're integrated and we try and have fun with it like a lot of my ads now are being skit based a comedy skit base where i i'm telling you right now when we started when my when my buddy and i switched over to doing comedy type stuff um i started seeing comments like i hit liked for the ad how often do you hear that on a youtube video? They're like, LOL, that was hilarious.

I'm liking because of that ad. We want more of these ads. It's like, now you know you're advertising right. That's true. Also, I think the audience has changed about it also. It's more accepted because it's just the norm, I guess. It's more accepted, and I feel like they're more on your side

than they once were. In gaming, we'd be paid to play certain games you know because they just wanted that game featured on your channel and when people found that out all of a sudden you were like the worst sellout in the world now you know they don't mind seeing something different and they don't mind you getting paid you know they like right I like Jay and if a good thing happens to Jay then I like that and you know it's funny is is you know they like right i like jay and if a good thing happens to jay then i like that and you know it's funny is is is you know patreon you mentioned patreon earlier you know

patreon and vessel and stuff like that um in the beginning you would you would see things you know what you're such a sellout all your you know it's a money grab now i get i i because i don't do vessel or patreon but now i get comments all the time. It's like, why aren't you on Patreon? Why can't I find you on Patreon? And it's funny because you know they're looking on Patreon and that's an intent to pay. So it's just really foreign to me. They've got extra money they want to get rid of.

They thought of you and you weren't available. And I didn't capitalize on that. On PKA, so we started doing ads on this show before it became widely accepted and one of the ways we deflected it, it's still over there, I can't even point to it very well, but it says if the money's there we don't care and you know we started saying like if Al Jizz or if Al Qaeda wants to

advertise there's a slot right here for you. Yeah, yeah. that was when lefty went death to america yeah lefty was like no no no not al-qaeda and we're like you know you get an equal cut and he's like death to america i'm actually gonna i'm actually gonna send you a time stamp real quick i mean you could you can watch it if you want or watch it later but i want to give you an idea of the type of advertising we're doing now because obviously you have to change and adapt with the times and I think that's been the most exciting part especially as a you know when that becomes your way of surviving. Woody and I were recently talking about making a commercial for sort of an energy drink thing for Gamma that involves like you know stunt driving and explosions and fireballs and voiceover and live action driving and multiple cameras and, you know.

I feel like the audience wants more and better quality content. But they also, I think at least my audience being the, I think I'm one of the few audiences that has that demographic where the 19 to 28 or whatever that, or 19 to 24 or whatever is is my first demographic and my second is up to 35. And then third is that 13 to 18. So I feel like because I have a much older audience that they're more accepting and willing to help support without me actually coming out and doing things like crowdsourcing and stuff to try and ask for money my my uh my age demographics have always been this almost perfect age distribution between all all like four or five of the main categories whatever it is so there are literally just as many children watching as there are old men so like it's weird

the people that like i'll run into who'll know who i am like today i went and bought some paint the guy at the paint store was like i was watching those fps kyle videos he's like i loved all that shit and then like later on i'm at home depot uh maybe two weeks ago and this old fucker was like you're the guy with the guns aren't you you're the man with the plan son but don't let them come they gonna come for him one day you know they coming and then i had to like back because he was getting i'm surprised that people are like i'm not good at recognizing i swear if i saw well maybe tom cruise i would but like most people like if i saw linus or something i probably wouldn't he's linus right he's american no you call him linus you call him

whatever it doesn't matter i think I'm good at it. I think you... All right, here's the only... I think the only experience that you and I probably have had of doing it is maybe at PAX or E3, seeing other YouTubers and stuff like that. And when I'd see Ponisher or Freddie W or Saul Notch, I was like, eh, you can pick them out. I guess that's true. Were you at E3 this year? No.

This was the first year I went. It's weird though because the channel's grown to a size now to where I'm getting noticed in places that aren't tech related which is weird. I walk into a micro center and even the employees are like, yeah, it's Jay! And you walk in and it's like, yeah, these are my people. We're all nerds together.

It's like, my wife and i go to disneyland and we leave it's one in the morning and she's like i'm hungry i want some food now so we go through a drive-thru and i wasn't eating obviously so but no we go through a drive-thru and she wants like a um chicken nuggets or something like that so i tied so hungry. Tying it back to that Tyson video earlier, right? What kind of chicken nuggets? Oh, dick. McDonald's? Burger King? Wendy's? No, it was a McDonald's. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't hear that. Those are the worst, by the way. That's like

welfare tier nuggets. Yeah. No, it's like government cheese of nuggets. The drive-thru is taking forever and there's like 25 cars is backing up onto the streets the only thing open at this hour on ball road in anaheim and i'm i just take to twitter i'm like goddamn this mcdonald's is so fucking slow and i'm like live tweeting in the middle of the night getting all pissed off so the guy you you pay at one window you go to the

next window to get your food and the guy at the hand me my food he's like oh hey you're jay right you do those computer videos on youtube and i'm like yeah hey i'm nice to meet you he's like oh so cool here's your food you have a nice night like 60 seconds later i get a response on twitter he's like hey man sorry we were so slow we're like understaffed it was nice media i'm like fuck the guy who just handed me my food saw me like ranting about his work on twitter so it's really weird because i'm not i'm still not used about his work on twitter so it's really weird because i'm not i'm still not used to meeting people in public but it's happening a lot more often i had a really similar experience once i was i was at home and it was like maybe one in the morning

and mcdonald's is the only thing open 24 7 nearby and i tweeted i was like i'm so fucking hungry but i'm not sure which would be worse hunger pangs or mcdonald's and uh and finally i was like i want mcdonald's so i drove all the way to mcdonald's i got like a quarter pounder and cheese or something like that i get it and uh the guy hands me my food he's like he's like i guess you decided to go with that quarter pounder instead huh yeah Yeah. I knew something was up when all of a sudden I get, like I said, tons of packages coming in here and the doorbell rings and usually it's like they'll just ding dong ditch. Right. And I can't just hop up and get to the door. And we have a we have a young baby and my my six year old. So sometimes we'll just like leave it outside and we'll go and get it later the doorbell rings again i'm like that's kind of weird so the wife's like hey go get the door so i

opened the door and the ups guy is standing there and i'm thinking oh maybe it needs a signature but that's weird because i didn't get a notification because i get a notification of any package that comes to this house because i'm on that system and so he opens the door and he goes hey man i just want to tell you i really love your channel and it's really cool to bring you the stuff that's on your videos. He started geeking out. We took a picture and put it up on Twitter. My UPS man for about six months was the best delivery guy I ever

had because if I wasn't home, he would take it to the backyard and hide it in the backyard. He made efforts to take really good care of the packages. He knew what was in them. Exactly. He knew it was expensive stuff and he didn't want the claim. And so one day he rings the doorbell and I was like, hey, what's up man, you want some

water and I give him water and stuff. He goes, hey, I got bad news. I'm like, you're going to FedEx. He's like, no, he was moving up into the big rigs. He's like, I'm not going to be your delivery guy anymore. And this new guy, we're back to ding dong ditching, blocking the door. I can't open it because it's a big box, you know now i'm back to like this the typical ups treatment yeah i miss my ups guy let's put it that way i like it recognize it's you know so i get recognized you know whatever i

guess like any youtuber of somewhere my size but when i'm with my family it's like i really get right like joe lozans ufc fighter right one thing about joe he always always wears joe lozans clothes everything he owns says joe lozans on it it's a big lozans from like shoulder blade to shoulder blade everywhere and he gets recognized a ton but i feel like he's kind of helping him you know like, like if I wear the Joe Lozine line of clothing all the time, that's a thing. I get a similar thing when I'm with my family. Like they might be like, I think that's Woody. But if I've got Colin and Jackie and Hope with me,

like they totally know that's the family that gets locked in. When I was at Vlogger Fair up in Seattle this weekend, I'm sitting there and I'm watching a panel, there's like a panel going on about how to monetize your videos. And I'm thinking, you know, am I going to learn anything from this? So I'm just kind of like moving and I look at Twitter and then I see somebody tweeted a picture of me from behind and they're like, wow, you're really tall. And I'm looking around like that, too. Yeah, I don't like that. I don't like come

say hi to me. Don't send me a picture of me and be like, hey, I'm watching you right now. I can top that, though. As annoying as that is, and I've had that, especially at conventions, the creepiest thing, we were at dinner once at Morton's, actually. We were on a trip to LA or somewhere. And someone just tweeted at me like, how's the steak? Oh, jeez. And I'm just like,

good? And they're like, is that water good? Like some sparkling water on the table. I was like, okay. And you know what sucks about that? If you look around and everyone's on their phone, right?

So it's not even like you can tell, oh, who's the dick on the phone right now that's tweeting i'm trying to catch the guy looking at me i'm trying to catch the guy like like like who's like staring me down right now because he wants to catch my reaction probably you look like a maniac forgetting that you forgot tweeting about a steak restaurant five hours earlier no like it wasn't even like i remember this specifically i bet kitty remembers too she She was there. It was bizarre. That was a little creepy. He was just watching us eat. He never came forward.

He never, he never was like, I was like, hey, you want to like picture or something? Nah. In Apex, people used to come to my house a lot. Yeah, I didn't like that. They don't come to the new one. I think it's either the address isn't as widely known or I think the driveway is intimidating. Like the sellers told me that. They're like, yeah, people aren't going to visit you anymore.

You got to commit. You got to do this like these. That's how my parents' driveway always was. You've seen my dad's place. There's a brick like archway thing, right? And then it's like it's lined with trees and it's really long. And like the sellers were like yeah man sometimes ups people they don't want to come like they feel like they're like like they need permission to get

on the compound or something and that hasn't happened to us with ups but yeah yeah that's uh that's one of the good things about having a little bit more property they got that long driveway i feel like the driveway here is is i i know it is it's like the first time I bring people to my house I'm like don't worry I'm not gonna like take you down a dirt road and murder you or anything I promise you like in the end it'll all look normal like but you qualify it like that have you ever have you ever met like an actual real hater of your channel in person um yeah yeah i think so that um they're um i've had people be kind of like shmarmy with me like like be like you know be like oh yeah i do this this and that yeah well no this this happened to me at micro center so i went into micro center to buy

some monitors because um no monitor companies would send anything to me right then and uh i was standing in line actually with my mom of all people because no no i remember now i was buying parts from my dad's bill he needed a new pc for editing and so i was like oh we'll go get the parts i'll go with you i'll buy them no no big deal and so i'm standing in line and this guy probably two or three people back kept like looking right and i'm I'm thinking, oh, I think this guy might know me. Finally, he comes up to me. He's like, hey, Jay, I love your videos, man. Can I take a picture with you?

I was like, yeah, sure, whatever. So he hands his phone or whatever to his friend, and he takes the picture. He's like, oh, that's so cool. He looks at his friend and goes, hey, do you want to take a picture with him? And his friend goes, no, I can't stand the guy. So I was like, damn. I told him, I said, you know what? You're probably better off for hating my videos. I said, but you've still watched them, so that means something to me. And he was like damn he i was i told him i said you know what you're probably better off for

hating my videos i said uh but you've still watched him so that means something to me and he was like whatever so they just walked out but his friend was just straight up like nope i don't like the guy dude i've got a story it there used to be this youtuber named fisticuffs i don't know if he still makes videos anymore you know of him i know of him i don't know him that guy hated on me constantly and uh he used to always talk shit about me or something and he tells a story repeatedly where he met me at cod xp and i was a douche to him and i have no recollection of this whatsoever like i i don't think i ever met the guy i don't know what what the story is. I was actually being really cool at CodXP. Turns out he ran into Bob Saget.

Hold on. Let me tell the story. So here's the deal. He says he ran into me, and I was a douche to him, but I was actually really cool. And at CodXP, the thing I was doing, I had these VIP passes so I didn't have to wait in line. I kept grabbing people and letting them play the game.

Like, oh, this guy's with me. And I was just getting people to the front of the line who were my fans, like kind of hooking up my fans. That's what I did at CodXP. So for him to tell this story, like I was being a douche there, seemed really weird. Well, the thing is, there was another time. He made this video and he kept calling me bitch tits.

And at the time I weighed like 170. And I was like, he named a bunch of us like bitch tits and t-mart had a name and wings had a name and something like that and i was like who's bitch tits is that one me am i bitch yeah and he's like yes you have bitch tits and I'm like I but I really don't and he's like I saw you at it's some machinima award show and I was like I was I wasn't there like I didn't go to that machinima award show like there's no way you saw me and he's like I did I totally did you were there but I swear I wasn't there I never went there I was there you weren't yeah I never went to. You weren't there. I was there. You weren't. Yeah, I never went to any of those things.

Yeah, I was presented. Yeah, you were presented. Yeah, so it's like this guy seems to routinely think that people are me who aren't flattering. And so I don't know what the story is with this, but like now I link the two together and I'm like, this guy can't pick me out in a crowd. Yeah, that's what happened. He went to Cod XP. You're ready to Bob Saget. He was like hey, Woody Bob say was like fuck off

Who are you? He's branded you as an asshole dude So when I first opened my channel there are all these comments like this he looks like this guy He one of them was Bob Saget another one was ray romano and another one was brendan frazier so i went through and removed every comment that wasn't brendan frazier so i could like develop a consensus this much of it was brendan frazier but i just went with it i'm like brendan fra I select him, and I removed all the others. You have Brendan Fraser's forehead and up. There you go.

You have Bob Saget's, whatever orbital socket area would be, like this stuff. And I think you've got kind of Ray Romano. Ray Romano in the nose. And then definitely eyes in the chin.

So what you're saying is Woody is a Picasso of celebrities. Not even good ones. It's not like a little Tom Cruise, a little Brad Pitt. No, no. It's a little Ray Romano and a little Bob Saget. Little Ray Romano. Looks like you've got some Ray Liotta skin texture.

Yeah, and some Brendan Brendan Fraser but not the body right all like just the weird like the part that they forgive that's the part you have Brendan Fraser from 2013 not the mummy Brendan Fraser in trouble with his alamo 2015 Val Kilmer little of that mixed in

it's funny he legitimately like was holding a grudge against a phantom version of you that he'd never even met. That's great. Yeah, yeah. I think that's... Maybe that's true of all of your haters.

Maybe there's some guy out there that looks just like you and he just runs around like an evil monkey or a family guy just starting shit. Fucking your life. Just like punching babies

and slapping babies. And he knows it too. It's just simply because you look like woody like you're an asshole dude yes i am you tell him woody was here and he like he's actually wearing a shirt that says woody's gamer tag on the back i talked to fisticuffs once about his extreme hate like he did a um a dual com i think with some other hater it might have been alprez but I'm not sure. I was like, I'm going to reach out to this guy and see what his story is.

He said that I was personally able to select who was successful and who wasn't in the gaming community. I was this master puppeteer making it all happen. He was going to continue to fuss at me until I gave him a dual comm. We worked it all out.

And I was like, dude, that's not even true. He says, I only hang out with people because they're famous. And I'm like going through the track record. You know, I'm like, FPS Russia wasn't even Russian at the time. Wait, was he? Tmart had 100 subs. You said he was doing all this because he wanted to dual comm with you? Yeah, yeah.

I hate you until you work with me and then I like you. Exactly. Tmart had like 100 hundred subs when i met him onslaught another guy that was real successful at the time didn't have a youtube channel at all right i just liked the way that he communicated in game and um i'm like you know so all this stuff isn't true and you know he kind of worked it out and we agreed and saw common ground and then he's like so can i have a dual com and i'm like no you't. You know, I feel like if I do this, then hating on me will be the natural avenue to get on my channel.

So, no. And that's how it worked out. But yeah, the whole thing was some elaborate plan. Like, he hated me because I didn't promote him. Well, then can you just, like, will me more success? Sure. Done. Done. See how we did that one?

Boom! You're getting the spot that Fisticuffs wanted so bad right now. done boom you're getting the spot that Fisticuffs wanted so bad right now can you feel it right now it feels like liquid fire let me check my subs it's doubled right now that's Woody's gamer tags goodwill and blessing upon you

but yeah that was his whole deal there that I I I wonder I half want to like do a like a little you know I want to call everyone who's hated on me and be like you know what what were you thinking like what did I ever do what made that happen to see what their rationale was yeah bring a camera with you and confront them that'd be fun yeah nothing could go wrong they'll never see it gopro on my forehead so red light blinking that's that's how i can cover up this spot there you go throw my forehead and call it you know like jay's truman show i like it i i'll be at events sometimes and i'll be just trying to

talk to people and somebody will turn their gopro on mid-conversation and i'm just like the fuck are you doing my own record now like like if you were a journalist you would have had to have asked permission first but you just fucking hit record no what you should have done though is the moment he hits record the russian accent turns on i what i sometimes i do do that just to fuck with him but but i just hate being recorded in general like i feel like that's so obtrusive and so like like you'd never do that any kind of kyle's a person too guys person too yes it's you make a shirt that says that i'm a person there's an interesting one-sided relationship, right? How, like, some people will think that, like, you're good friends with them,

even though, like, they might know a lot about you, but you've just met them. You know, it's a real imbalanced thing. There is a guy who was like, hey, Woody, I really want you to photograph certain parts of your house and send them to me. He's like, I want to see the Game of Thrones room. I want to see, like, Hope's room. And it's like, do you know how fucked up that is? I want to see the Game of Thrones room. I want to see Hope's room. And it's like, do you know how fucked up that is? I want to see the bathroom.

Come on, Woody. I just want to be able to picture these places when you describe them on the show. Stop being a pussy. It's only your daughter's room. I will do a house tour at some point. Just don't take a picture. YouTube's a funny thing where you develop relationships with the people. I like Tom. Tom Cruise isn't a perfect example. I just, YouTube's a funny thing where like you develop relationships with the people.

Like I like Tom, if I, Tom Cruise isn't a perfect example. But you know, like if I see a. That's a lot of Tom Cruise mentioning tonight. Right? I know. Yeah. I'm all over him. But Quentin Tarantino, like he's a guy. If I know he's doing a movie, it's one that I'll make an effort to see.

But I don't feel like Quentin Tarantino owes me a house tour. But on YouTube, people do. People feel like, you knowantino owes me a house tour but but on YouTube people do people feel like you know they could you know we're tight so show me around it's a different dynamic new topic go for it so I watched John Oliver's televangelist thing and it was wonderful he really called out all the bullshit involved with uh televangelism and at the end he literally announced that he had formed his own um religion his own church our lady of perpetual exemption thank you and he asked people to send in seeds which is what these televangelists refer to as money like you're planting a seed and and you

know you'll get it back. A return on your investment if you give it to God. He told them to send their seeds and he gave a P.O. box. They got thousands of dollars and lots of seeds. Lots of bags of seeds. He was like, someone sent this

large bag of seeds and then someone sent an actual bag of seeds and then someone said an actual bag of seeds pound like half like like like seed bag of seeds and just tons of money and uh he he reiterated that he wanted money sent and and i'm sure there's gonna be thousands and thousands of dollars that uh that that arrive by the time this thing's done we need to get it on this. Let's do it. Let's make it happen. I call Pope and I wear that. You can't call Pope.

That's the first rule of our church. You totally know I'm Pope. You have to vote. Our church has multiple Popes. My YouTube life goal is to eventually have a studio like a televangelist studio

i got have you seen some of the state glass in the background oh lord what kind of graphics have you seen some of these these modern ones though like somebody put up a picture comparing like the american idol studio to another televangelist studio and the televangelist studio was like way more modern way more expensive and bigger than Hollywood Theater. Those televangelists have tens of millions of dollars of petty cash to play with, and it's tax-free. Did you see the John Oliver special we were talking about? I saw bits of it, but I didn't see the whole thing.

Just for maybe the crowd, there was one part where he plays this excerpt of a preacher talking. And he said something. I'm probably just paraphrasing here. He's like, yeah, yeah, I bought a Cessna. I went out and bought that Cessna 350 jet. Yes, I did. Yeah, yeah.

And you know what? It's like, send me another one. I bought one twice as expensive. Three times as expensive. Now I got two. And he was just like obviously like being shameless about like he's like yeah yeah I spend money on jets that's a preaching machine right there I'm flying around spreading the gospel yeah I dude

justifying like this this luxury one of the requirements for having like a church is that you need to meet on a regular basis. Let's roll them out there. I bet we meet like... It just so happens we do it every Saturday. Or Thursday is the recording. Saturday is the upload. Right, right.

Like I think that should count. They're on TV. We're on YouTube. What's the difference? I think we should actually look into this. We need to come up with our own 10 commandments or actually let's make it like 11 commandments. We need to come up with our own Ten Commandments. Or actually, let's make it like Eleven Commandments. We're one commandment better than those other shitty religions.

What's the new commandment? I don't know. Everybody come up with a new one. Well, I don't know that we like the original ones. I like a lot of them. Thou shalt not steal, thou shalt not covet. You should love them. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.

It seems like half of them are devoted to not liking other gods and stuff. Are we that... You can view it that way, or you could view it as not letting one thing take over your life. Amazon sells Popats, by the way. Thou shalt use no other Amazon

affiliate code. Alright, well, look, I legitimately... Thou shalt use no other Amazon affiliate code. All right. Well, look, I legitimately... We'll get Chiz on this. He'll make it happen, right? We'll let him be the deacon and the treasurer of the church. I've been calling him a dirty ethnic, but I think he's got a little Jew in him.

Once I get my hands on him... Are you saying that you're wrong, or are you doubling down on the dirty ethic? I'm doubling down. I think he's a very – he's a cheap, dirty ethnic. Dude, that was the best line in the world. Like he – what is it? He's got a little Spanish and a little Italian.

And he's like, you know, you mix two colors and you get a whole different color. Like red and blue is purple. It turns out that Italian and Spanish is Puerto Rican blood on this trip and I find out miscegenation is is in his is in his genome in his character he's uh he does love a buck we should see who is the most pure do a blood test of all of us to see who's Pope. Who's the most pure of blood. If I had to guess who was most pure, I would say it's me.

Because I feel like my blonde hair and... That's all I'm really basing it on. I think my parents are closer to God than any of your parents. I don't know what that has to do with being of your parents. I come from serious, pure stock. I don't know what that has to do with being poor, though. Nope. There's something about sins of the father, Woody, and that goes the other way, too,

if we're going to start our own religion. Can't take their credit and apply it to you. I'm telling you, I was born to be Pope. These people see Mark of the Beast in an iWatch. What if we started a religion and we found out Chiz was a pedophile? I thought, oh God. That'd be perfect.

We need a token pedophile for the religion, right? Now we're official. IRS, here's that. When the IRS reads that, that we've got a sex offender within our clergy, they've got to be legit. That's one of the requirements. Sign them up.

I couldn't deal with this otherwise. No tax. Yeah, that gotta be legit. That's one of the requirements. Sign them up. No tax. That would be a great way. That's like your certificate of authenticity. We increase revenues by like 30%. Just become a religion. Let's do it. I have heard that the IRS is cracking down

on these things because of the pressure from John Oliver. fuck you John Oliver that was a perfectly legitimate loophole for us to we can make it work as long as we have like a couple goofy rules I hope they do crack down on it though because that really is disgusting to see those guys like

flim flam artists con men really just scam scam artists just put just I use the term putting people together but that that means scamming someone or like manipulating them to to get your goal done that's what putting someone together means in my vocabulary but like that's what they're doing to those old people in particular and the they pick up their brand of evil is their their scam is most effective against those who are the weakest and need help the most.

The people who are the most desperate among us. The people who really don't have that $50 to send in or that $100 to send in. They're not fooling some like corporate executive like, well, honey, let's write them another check. I don't know. Let's plant that fucking seed. Am I right? Like, no, no one's doing that. It's like some old grandma with like arthritis and her and her granddaughter like it her granddaughter needs a surgery and she wants she if you're sending money to television evangelists or i a podcast evangelists or whatever you've been bamboozled i feel they're extremely desperate I wonder how much my parents have sent we can set like a $5,000 Patreon

to save people I wonder if that's a question because I know your father's done fairly well for himself so like if he gave 10% of everything I bet he would be like 10% of everything I bet he would i bet he would be like 10 of everything

i've got is nothing compared to how little how how how much i've gained because of all that i've given i'd have i'd have a quarter of what i had now if i hadn't given that 10 that's probably how i use it but in reality he'd have had another 10 you'd have 10 more i uh yeah i i He's not dumb. I've been bribing my imaginary friends for years. They don't help me at all. They don't. I remember one time I was in church and my mom gave me and my, I was young, me and my brothers

like my mom was into like the tithing thing and they'd send that little collection plate around and my dad was never really into that. Like oh, well of course he was the one going out and working for it. And so the little collection plate came around. My mom gave me and my dad was never really into that like oh well of course he was the one going out working for it and so the little collection plate came around my mom gave me and my brothers each ten dollars to to put into the the tray and passed it along and i did like that old you know tricky move where i acted like i laid it in and then like pocketed the 10 my other brother did the same youngest brother too young to understand the schemey art we were doing.

Just gave $10 to those charlatans up at the front telling us we were going to burn forever. I probably made like 60 or 70 bucks. You boys want to go to church? Yeah, yeah, let's go. Let's get it going. Can we go twice this week?

That's funny. I never stole God's money. I never stooped that low. Had I let go of it and then picked it back up, that's like putting your Monopoly piece down or something. No, no, no. You're so wrong about this. If Woody gives Hope $10 to pay the milkman

and she pockets that money, then she just robbed the milkman. No, but then Woody would know because there was no more milk. My parents wouldn't find out because none of God's blessings didn't show up that weekend. Well, God's not real, so he's not able to defend himself.

If he were real like the milkman, then he would surely come and say, hey, your son has my $10, ma'am. I have to bring this up. Our milkman forgot his delivery this week. Oh! We do. He delivers amazing milk.

Dude, it's the... Is it Oberweiss? There's a lot of things that are really cool about Woody's life change this year and moving to his new estate over there and everything that comes along with that. But I think neatest thing that's that would be the most difficult to recreate if you were trying to is his goddamn milk man glass bottles i mean those big ones that you could beat

totally could murder a man with that bottle those show up full of delicious milk that i'm sure is like organic like oh yeah zero bullshit milk like the expiry date on it is like half of what it is on store-bought milk like it's oh yeah it's they use a different pasteurization technique don't they don't use the ut there's like uti and then there's a different one one of them is like ultra high temperature but it's difficult to do i guess i don't know i to me it's just like it's less fucked up milk like it's it's our milk is so i've won it right now it's so it's odd that it has a that the expiration date is like that if it's less because that's either a symptom of it being so normally when milk is what at the dairy and like modern the kind of milk we get in the grocery

store that milk started uh came out of the cow and was immediately refrigerated. As soon as it's out of the cow, now we refrigerate it. Then it's pasteurized, which is basically heating it up super hot to kill all the bacteria that would make the milk go bad. It stays refrigerated from then until it goes in your bowl of cereal.

Yours has a sooner expiration date. That's either because it's warm during some part of the transportation like from the cow or like from where from going into the cow and then being stored warm or shipped warm or it's uh it's not being pasteurized the same it could be that i was wrong too like what happened was my wife forgot to order it one week and then she bought store-bought milk and i noticed that the stuff that was in there expired sooner and i thought the stuff that was in there was brand new but

it could have been from before she's like it next time i'm interested now milk talk milk talk yeah yeah but no i we think about milk we get our like a lot of our food just gets delivered it's like from local farms and stuff and uh yeah and we get like weird like you know like you go to the supermarket and all the like peaches and tomatoes and stuff are like uniform and they're all the same size we get tomatoes that roll in that are giant they're like i was gonna say they're like pumpkins but that's an exaggeration they're like a gourd in size like they're they're big tomatoes like and we had a peach too a peach that was bigger than a softball and uh this is like giant fruit rolls in and stuff like that we're like oh look at that shit i didn't know

it did that i'm gonna have to look at i'm gonna see if there's some fancy milk that i can get into i i don't like this i don't like you and your fancy milk no we don't even have these milk delivery men you're talking about you do it we just don't know maybe we all have access we've just never looked into it. How did you get hooked up with your milk guy? Jackie started buying from a local, like she bought food from a local co-op and then, like there's more than one

co-op that delivers to us now. She just like started, like oh, this is the place that has the basil and this is the place that has this. And she likes cooking. Holy shit, we do. Yeah. She likes cooking so she gets these like fresh ingredients and stuff. And this is the place that has this and and she likes holy shit. We do yeah She likes cooking so she got these like fresh ingredients and stuff and this is straight from the dairy Like the Altadena dairy, I guess that's like a big one or something. I we can get it straight to our house. That's crazy

It's amazing. Yeah, they come in these styrofoam things and then they have like old water bottles and stuff filled with ice to keep it all cool Well, I see these These people have raw milk. I don't want that. Yeah, I see that. That's what, like, really crazy people drink and it can kill you. This is what we got when we were little, this Oberweiss milk. And I think Woody's right because it would expire sooner than other things. Came in the glass bottle, made you feel like you were going back in time.

I don't want to have to chew my milk. That's gross. Yeah, I mean, this isn't exactly the same to chew my milk. That's gross. Yeah, our... I mean, this isn't exactly the same. Our containers are not hard like that. They're styrofoam. The milk bottle seems the same, but it's not printed on the side. It's just generic. That's cool. I really like milk, too.

Chocolate milk is great. They'll deliver chocolate milk? Oh, yeah. This place I just linked to. They'll deliver chocolate milk. Oh, that's the best. I haven't... We haven't... Yeah, Colin used to only drink chocolate milk, and that's what we would get, but I haven't, I don't think she still orders it anymore. Huh.

Well, that's really cool. I like milk. I eat a lot of cereal, and I don't know, lots of the things, like I won't eat any, like, cake or cookie or pie or any dessert without milk, so I drink a lot of milk because I eat a lot of cake, cookies, and pies. That was one of the things I really had to give up though was milk. I could go through a gallon of milk in a day if I wanted. Yeah, totally.

Now it makes me feel sick though because I'm actually lactose intolerant. It's one of those things where I just was like, I don't care. I'm having my cereal and I'm having my glass of milk with my cereal and just became tolerant to it. Now if I try and have regular milk or even nonfat or 1% or whatever, it just makes me feel really sick. You know what you should try is quinoa milk. Oh, quinoa. Almond milk.

Fresh squeezed quinoa. I haven't had almond milk. It's okay. It's sad. No, it's not okay. Don't give it too much credit. It's a little bit thinner and it's like the kind that we get is vanilla, so it's kind of sweet. I it's uh like the kind that we get is vanilla so it's kind of sweet yeah i hate that one i hate that one so much really i like it i i i think maybe i'm just too used to the original because it's better than milk it's sweet tasting like

it's like it's not i bought some vanilla one day the vanilla unsweetened one one day and i didn't realize it and uh because i do the I do almond milk, regular almond milk. I put it in my cereal and I took a bite and I was like, what the hell is this? It tasted so bad. I was thinking of soy milk. Soy milk is shit. Almond milk is not nearly as good

as regular milk still. I saw a tweet from black people on Twitter and it was like, almond milk? Almond's ain't got no titties. Oh, man. I put almond milk in my coffee, though. That's good. That sounds pretty good. I could do that. Almond milk,

espresso, and just a little bit of honey. Mix that up. It tastes really good. I know, right? All this skinny like healthy shit now J's boring it's alright yeah I like to put a tablespoon of butter in my coffee but I thought dude yeah it goes down smooth is that a thing I've never even heard of that okay I have a story off reddit i found it it's five months old it got linked recently you've said so many ridiculous things that you've eaten

that i didn't even think you were joking i pictured you every morning waking up having your black coffee taking a slab of butter out of the tray and it's like floating on top as i sip it down like a marshmallow i'm just having my butter coffee before I make my homemade breakfast fries. Are you guys ready for this ridiculous story for me to read? I'm getting with you. Wait, is there a link? I was going to read it to you. Oh, yes.

Please go ahead. All right. So this came from Ask Reddit from five months ago. And it said, what's the weirdest encounter you've had that led to sex? So this guy tells a story. Bear with me. It's long, but I think it's worth it. So I've been single for a few months and I was in dire need of a slump buster.

There was a dive bar near me, which had a target rich environment for chicks that you wouldn't tell anyone you hooked up with. Being in need, I set the bar pretty low and had a decent expectation of leaving my abode that i would be able to come across a lady that would either weigh in at cruiser slash heavyweight or be as ugly as rosie o'donnell but without the open scabs so i got to the bar and apparently everyone else had the same idea there was more sausage than a ymca concert and every fat chick had two to three dudes hitting on her it was like all these chicks woke up as twos and they were seven or eights when they hit the bar. So I'm trying to decide if I should just leave and go home and

fap to the new Sears catalog or saddle up to the bar and order a beer. Shortly after the urine that they call beer arrives, this female octogenarian sits next to me and asks why I look so pissed off. Now, for those of you that don't know what an octogenarian is, that's someone who's 80 years old. I tell her how there was a lot of hog in the bar and I was grabbing a drink before I went home. So we chat for a bit and she's buying me a beer. So I say, fuck it. At least I'm getting the drink for free. And I listened to her yap on as women are wont to do for an hour or two and keep checking out the lady population. The parking lot is emptying and the ladies are starting to disappear

as guys stuffed oversized women into their cars and ride back to their places as the car tilted at 45 degree angles, smelling of Cheerios and broken dreams. Meanwhile, I'm talking to a lady who likely voted for FDR. I finally decide, after about six free beers and a shot, that I'm headed home to get the Vaseline and rubber spatula and rub one out for a night of solo action. Rubber spatula?

What? Grandma tells me that she lives close by, and it would be nice if I walked her to her door. Being the gentleman I am, I said, fuck that shit, It's cold outside. So she said she would just follow me for as long as we were going in the same direction. Fine, whatever. So once again, I have to listen to her drone on about the price of insurer or some shit

until I reach my retirement apartment complex. I mumble that I mumble like good night or rest in peace or and head up to my place. I mumble like good night or rest in peace and head up to my place. I get to my door and put the keys in, and this bitch had followed me the whole way there. I turn to her, and I'm like, listen, I just want to have a good fap and go to bed. Apparently, that romantic statement was what she was looking for, because she grabbed my junk like a death row inmate getting their last supper and said, why? I don't do it for you? So like all men, I made a bad decision. And a thousand things go through my mind at once. And I said, well, at least you're not doing it to yourself. So we head into my place and I sit on the nasty

couch and yank out the purple headed warrior, which is 100% limp at this point. Grandma goes after it like a hungry dog on a meaty bone and is giving me some serious grade A head. I start thinking that I made the right choice here and begin thinking of ways I'm going to tell her to get out after I get her FDA approved dosage of DNA pudding. While this is running through my mind apparently grandma was doing some ninja shit and before I know it she has her pants off and starting to remove her shirt. Okay, forget what I said. This is a bad idea. And the look of her half naked body

is making me go limp. Granny tells me that she's going to need some attention and that if I liked what I got earlier I would love what her kitten had for me. So I'm half limp and functioning part of my brain is like, okay she did give good head. Fuck it. Let's see what this is all about. So she sits down on the couch and saddles her hips up and tries, saddles her hips

up to the edge as I try to furiously stuff my mostly limp self into a condom. I managed to make things work and slowly slide. What's the point? Don't want to get her pregnant. He's got the clap. Come on. So I managed to make things work. It's like sliding your glass into it or your dick into a glass of warm pudding. I slowly go about my business and start questioning my life choices that brought me to this point.

I'm getting lost in my thoughts when Eleanor Roosevelt whispers something to my ear that will haunt my very dreams. If I wanted to be fucked like an old lady, I would have fucked an old man. Now, that should have been the straw that broke the camel's back, and I should have just sucked up the ego hit and kicked her ass out. Instead, I felt the need to defend

my manly honor and started pile driving Granny's roast beef box like the Undertaker at Wrestlemania. At this point, I'm trying to find my focus so I can get my mind over with it, but my ability to orgasm is hindered by the fact that A, I might have broken her hips, and B,

she's hooting and hollering like she just won the showcase showdown. As a testament to my depravity, I did manage to fire one off, grabbing her breasts that probably suckled kids from the Great Depression. After that, it was just a haze of getting dressed and me thinking as I passed out that I

hope I didn't remember what I had done. Sadly, that is not the case. So there it is. Somehow I thought that story would be good for PKA. Good for him. In a... Well, no. I feel like that snake woman I fucked that time

was a good story, but that really takes the cake. You fucked that 80-year-old woman, I guess. Yeah, well, that probably won that comment thread. I think it did. Yeah, it was linked to recently. That's so gross. Wouldn't you just feel guilty? No, I'd do that.

I think I would do that just to do it. Yeah, I'd fucking... No, when you get in the moment, you wouldn't want to. No, I just, you know, if it looked too rough, I'd just close my that just to do it. Yeah. I don't know who the victim was. No, when you get in the moment, you wouldn't want to. No, I just, you know, if it looked too rough, I just kind of close my eyes and think of something more fun. I guess if you're seven in, seven drinks in, you're pretty loose to the suggestion. Don't sober. Let's just make it happen. Let's try some new stuff here.

There you go. Open your mind, Taylor. We could talk about history while we did it. Like, I'd love to know what the Great Depression was like. What were the 60s like? Tell me about Eisenhower! Yeah! What was Castro like in the old days?

How long did people really hate Germans after the war? I wanna know this stuff. Yeah, I'd have no problem with that. Alright. What's the oldest lady that you would have sex with Taylor mmm give it some so loaded what do you think might know like celebrity dream like magic scenarios just your average no you know you know it's assumed she's not heavy though or something right just yeah yeah that's assumed she took pretty good care of herself but you know she's not running marathons anymore

she's spry but she's 80 probably at this point in my life I'm thinking 50s 50s or maybe 60 but once you get to 60 it seems so old don't waste these next few years

time is precious now make your moves yeah I don't think I don't think I'd want to have sex with one of those ladies who's so old that like their skin looks like paper and it's like translucent and it looks like

you could like scratch their it looks like you could like tear their face off you know what I mean like if you really wanted to you could just like ah like take their face um like like well you could like make origami out of their neck skin i think yeah i think that happens in their 90s and especially in the upper 90s like when they get like real decrepit looking like like basically like they're dead almost already like if i'm being honest but like um i definitely go into the 60s i i think um if she was if if she was attractive in some way at all i i i really don't think i'd care about the number and i probably would fucking 80 year old you know just to just to say i had that'd be

cool there's a gap there though like if like 85 was like your limit kyle but if like a hundred and 18 year old lady who was like one of the oldest in the world wanted to i think anyone would do that just for the story to be able and then mainly for the conversation afterward to be able to ask about like what i think the world's 1904 world's fair was like I think I'd tell everybody I fucked her, but really I'd just jerk off on her or something and just do that. I think that's what I'd do. She wouldn't remember it anyway.

I think there's a line there where the story just is no longer worth it. And they probably would literally die. If you serve someone that old their coffee a little too hot, the shock will just come. Very soon there'll be no one alive from the 1800s. Oh, yeah, there's only like two people or something. Yeah, I mean, well, I mean, they'd be 115 at least now.

And I want to say the oldest tend to be like 118, 115. I don't think there are any. Nah, I don't think there are any people left from the 1800s then. No, there are. The last of the 90s kids. Oh, we have to turn our cameras back on. The gay 90s? The last of the 90s kids. I didn't think of it that way.

Damn. Oldest person. That's like what their meme would be. It'd be like, only 90s kids remember this, and it's a horse and carriage So there are currently well, there's at least ten people that's the top ten oldest people are All from the 1800s and they're all women Did you guys lose the camera video? I lost everybody's to come back. I could see Taylor. It just takes a while. It just takes a while.

Exactly. It'll be here soon. And then they'll get brighter and everything will be cool. I was like, I didn't turn my lights down. Well, there's a 122-year-old. Shit. French lady. What the shit?

Come on. No, she's dead. She's dead. She just died. She died in the middle of it. And she's dead. During the cop. Oh, no. He's right. She is dead. She died in the middle of that. And she's dead. Oh, no, he's right.

She is dead. She died in 1997. I'm looking at the oldest people ever. I want the oldest people living. And here we are. There are only two. One of them is American, actually. The oldest one.

And one is Chinese, right? No, I'd be surprised. It seemed like some of the the those asian um you know countries held like the longest living records for a long time we do so of the of the oldest people ever we have five of the top 10 and japan has two and no one else has more than one but those two in japan lived as long as those other five. That's where. The fifth place is the top Japanese person. America owns two, three, seven, nine, ten. But what was I going to say?

Oh, the oldest people now? Japan is killing it. Japan has one, two, three, four, five of the ten. America has ten. Although we do have the oldest person right now. Imagine if you were like 114 years old and you just found out about like game of thrones even if you started binge watching it there's like a real possibility you couldn't get through make it yeah precious little time well i'm not going to make it to the red wedding

some of the uh anxiety that show gives might be enough to knock one of them off yeah jake can you turn your camera on and off or like is it off uh let me check i'm just getting your avatar there we go it'll come soon perfect oh i don't have people shifted yeah and your your avatar is showing oh is it oh that's what it is probably now now it's better now we're back to normal all right here we are now we're good now we're good i skype is constantly shifting on me there are so many people who are like all you need are like five layouts and that'll handle all the situations it won't it won't handle all the situations you know that people pop up in different places people

we have different amounts of people people randomly shrink to avatars and all the different spots it must take 50 layouts to do all the choices it's not as easy as you think indeed shall we call it a show

I think so I gotta get up in like 7 hours there you go alright check out our sponsor next issue link in the description and on the side check out Jay's channel link in the description

and if you liked him here you'll love him on his own role his own channel I don't know if I said role yeah so check all that it's all just a fake persona whatever my role my reoccurring role on youtube there it is all right so um that was painkiller ready episode 245 i hope you liked it and i hope uh there is a 246 that we filmed in the woods and we're still alive and well fuck yeah we'll be back two weeks from now with the mercenary show all right goodbye woods and we're still alive and well. Fuck yeah! If not, we'll be back two weeks from now with the Mercadurica show.

Alright. Goodbye.