Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #247

Episode Date: September 17, 2015

This week on PKA, the guys are joined by YouTube star, Kwebbelkop and they discuss the events of the Survival Trip, talk about the Oculus and YouTube Money!

PK, oh, so you're not ready to start. I had, I clicked a link, now I'm ready. All right, PKA episode 247, you've just witnessed an unplanned start. This episode of Paying Hello Already is being brought to you by Dollar Shave Club. Shave time, shave money, Dollar Shave Club. I like it, yeah. The first one was magic, though. It was.

Well, all you had to do was be like, did you say shave time? Did you say shave time? And I'd be like, yeah, their ads are almost as smooth as the shave you get from their razors. And we just pretended. You even fucked it up. We just done it again. Yeah, right? It wasn't just me.

I feel like. You got lost in the weeds there. Their ads are almost as smooth as the shave of the razor. Well, I had to do both parts. Of course I did. You forced me to play both roles have you ever done a dual comm and then like they had a tech issue and tried to recreate it but the magic wasn't there the second time you feel like an asshole where you set them up for the joke and

then they don't quite hit the the punchline you can't you can't you can't rebuild that spontaneity yeah it was good the first time though no one will ever hear it yeah oh well yeah i remember one time i did a dual comm with uh sasben jr an australian guy if you guys remember him he was my partner at huppet and uh somewhere along the way in the dual comm i i swear to god i don't remember what it was but i said something negative about c nanners i don't know what it was uh maybe it was about him not doing cod anymore not doing as many tips i'm not sure that's what i really loved from him and uh then i just i i told the guy that i had a tech error and that we had to do an entire another take because it didn't work and like one of our audios was dropped or something so that it would never go live because i regretted it i like, I don't want to talk

shit about CNN. He's not out there talking shit about me. All the times to do that, though. That couldn't have been a post-Robin Williams rant thing of, whoop, lost the whole thing. Yeah, right? Nah, shucks. Yeah, that one went down as one of the bigger faux pas I've made

in my channel history, I think. That poor, beautiful man that you just he sullied his name just drug it through the mud just oh. Well I did see something on the cover of National Enquirer at the grocery store that it could have been a murder. Anyone? I don't read the tabloids. Oh I only read the tabloids. The rest of those trying to just spook you. But anyway. I heard the suicide hotlines had like new records or something like a lot of people contemplated suicide after he did as their solution which was my whole like thing i was trying to avoid but um yeah i understood the

direction we're going with it in the first take we said and our guest qu Quiggle Cop. Of course. I was waiting. I was like, come on, guys. I can't say anything until you introduce me. I know. It's like trying to jump into the conversation. You know, half an hour in and we forget. Like, oh yeah, by the way, this is our guest. Yeah, what's up? He's got his microphone again.

Oh, yeah. Okay. Hey, what mic is that? This is the Rode Broadcaster. Oh, you know what? That looks a lot like the one that lefty uses oh no Kyle is disconnecting you guys want to do it again then the Third time's the charm. Everyone missed Kyle's joke. My girlfriend has that, but it vibrates. It was fantastic.

I see it now. I see it. I got one too, so that vibrates, of course. Kyle, you're about to launch into something. You were, actually. We are picked up right where the first attempt failed, and you were going to say something about the survival trip. Taylor, how was it?

I was going to ask something about the survival trip. Something that I haven't seen, because I've watched some of the videos. They all came out today, and it's like six hours of content. They only came out like two hours ago. I haven't seen all of it. I've just skipped around. I like how you guys went from a little bit of like hesitant optimism in the beginning Kyle's like night zero thing of like oh

We're gonna you know I'm gonna go out hunt some squirrels and then by night three of like him sitting there like haven't seen a goddamn No squirrels no food what he ate to crawfish Chiz hasn't done a fucking thing Messing around in the car not doing anything, but I'm driving around, I'm looking at spots. Woody keeps texting me that I've been at Taco Bell four times, and that's something I don't appreciate. My night three confessional, I'm so angry. Usually when Patrick would be like, let's go down to the creek and do a confessional, I'd be like, alright, I guess I'll come make some shit up for you and try to be kind of funny for a little while because like i got no complaints i don't need to confess anything today

like it was just another fucking day out here in misery but on that day i was like yeah let's fucking go patrick let's go i got something to tell you you were so irritable and uh oh it was that's the best part of the whole thing if If you guys haven't watched it yet, go check out the confessions. The confessions at the end of the day. It took me until day four to be like, you know, like, I think I fussed about Chiz. And it's awkward for me because he lives, like, just right outside. But I'm like, ah, when he sees my day four confessional where I'm like, I thought he was going to run out of cigarettes two days ago. You know, he had a rationing that we gave him credit for.

I was like, to me, he's chain smoking. Every time I see him, he has like 15 to 30 butts by his feet. Now, mind you, the fire is four feet from him. And he's like, drop it right there and i'm picking up the cigarette butts all week all week i never understood why though it's fucking disgusting and i live there and he smokes from woody i've heard this before this is also how woody described my back seat the back seat of my car it's disgusting how could i ever sit in the back seat of your car and i'm like well it's a little messy woody i fear you have kind of a clean freak thing going on that none of us really know about i don't think it

becomes a thing because your wife is so attentive and great that it never becomes an issue you guys be the judge there was a stack of dishes behind you right now there'd be sweat that's not true i i just noticed this coffee cup from like days ago. If you go to Kyle's car, the back seat, now it's a Camaro back seat, right? So it's not big. The part where your legs go across is just filled. Ooh, dishes.

I got more. Do you want more? I do. The part where your legs go is just completely filled as if the seats were level. And it's all old fast food wrappers taco bell wendy's mcdonald's whatever it is that he's going to one back there no no that's not disgusting for you to reach disgusting and vile on the woody scale but i'll tell you what when you made room you have to have 12 cigarette butts at your feet when you made room so when we

went this is the survival trip with the rafting and the zipline and stuff. When he made room for me to sit there, there was like a person-sized mound of trash that he had created with the trash that was where people's feet go. That's Carl. You just form it into a person and you get a little company. Right, right. So when he tells you that it was like one Wendy's bag, you know he's totally full of shit. Yeah, that was Kyle's fast food golem that he keeps back there for company. Cut my hand, say some words and it comes to life.

I like that. You know what a golem is. That's impressive. You know, it's a Jewish thing, right? The Jews, they're the ones that put the golems on you. It's a Minecraft thing. right? The Jews, they're the ones that put the golems on you. It's a Minecraft thing. Very inventive people. Yes.

You can create them on the best server in the multiverse. So, yeah, it was. But, yeah, he was smoking a lot. It's not what I would call chain smoking. I feel like chain smoking is like you're lighting one off the other. He was smoking, I don't know one every every 10 minutes a pack every 10 minutes i would think of that as chain smoking like around the fire like like at night around the fire that's like you know he's drinking his shit coffee that the the whatever

those crystals are it's awful i had a cup of it once. Is it Folgers? Yeah, Folgers. So you have to understand, he was smoking like three to four feet from me. Like the hammock in which I slept, he had another hammock with two trees that were close to each other that made kind of a seat. So he's smoking three or four feet from me. He'd be smoking, and the smoke is just wafting all over me. And I'm like, all right, well, this thing's done. I couldn't believe he brought cigarettes this thing will end at some point yeah right because he's supposed to stop smoking i thought that was part of the survival thing like as much as like anything was like any of our vices

that we might be giving up like i didn't bring my auto blow with me i'm not hooking it up to the solar power it's like all the pressure of their house but in the truck for six hours i didn't bring any of the children range from three to nine that i fuck i had to go a week without yeah so um but he brought his cigarettes he brought his vice oh taylor like you've never fucked a child come on well you know how do you even respond to that i I don't know. There's no winning combination. But anyway. The only thing I wanted to ask about was the, that I haven't seen touched on yet, but the shitting situation.

Were you guys all sharing a general shit spot or was it just peppered like landmines? Can I go first on this? Sure. I didn't poop the entire time. I've never gone that long without pooping in my life. I didn't poop the entire time I was out there I was a little worried and But it never came to be

Woody has a good poop story though. No, I guess so I I pooped at Walmart which like we bought like fishing rods and stuff right there So I pooped literally right before the trip started and then didn't poop and poop I expected to I pooped in the woods many many I don't. I expected to. I pooped in the woods many, many times. I don't even know how many times I pooped in the woods, like a hundred. And so I was prepared for it. I wasn't like waiting or like trying to make it through the week.

I just didn't have to poo because I really didn't eat anything until Henrietta. You know what? Once we ate Henrietta, that greasy, greasy greasy bird like we deep fried her right is that what yeah deep frying you guys did and um uh yeah so we deep fried henrietta and it wasn't two hours later that i was like you know what i really have to poop and i was all sweaty and yucky so i went to the creek where there were these beaver dams and and it was like thigh deep. And I'm like, you know, this seems like a big old, you know, toilet bidet combo to me. So I pooped in the creek, cleaned up on the spot.

Wait, you squatted over the creek like hovered? You just shat right in the water. No, I shat right in the water. But you have to understand there's a flow, right? So when you poop here, the river is headed in a particular direction. It gets recycled or whatever. It's now part of a beaver dam somewhere. We threw all of our trash right into that creek, too.

That's not true. Went right away. It just disappears. All the plastic bottles. We had an old car battery and a bunch of used motor oil. And I was like, what are you doing with that? And he's like, recycling. And we dumped it all right in that creek. Putting the oil back where it came from.

But up the hill so it could recycle through the valley. So that way it disperses or whatever they call it. Yeah, the vitamins get everywhere. Dude, so I was afraid. He was singing the circle of life while he did it. In my head, I was afraid that the poop would sink right to the bottom. And then I would like have like a stepping on it thing. Now, I had flip flops on in the creek, but I was worried that.

Yeah, but instead, I'm like, it's floating away towards the dam. And I'm like, well, there's Henrietta. One final goodbye to that to henrietta shower uh that trip because like i knew because like i i went even further down to bathe then he goes down to shit so i was like well now what do i do you mentioned the dam i'm like but i go way past the dam to bathe it to that really cool that there's like a little pool there with pebbles at the bottom instead of like this sulfurous beaver shit that we bathed in the whole time.

Well, I wish I knew about yours, but mine might have been deeper. There were like... Yours was deeper because the beavers had wallowed it out real good. There were like three beaver dams. So I went to the last one and thinking that like...

Because beaver dams were the area where we got our food from. So I went to the very edge of what I thought was the useful river and cleaned up there. And only on the last day did I sort of poop and clean up. You shit in the bathtub, literally. Chiz was more bummed out about the chicken than even I was.

And I was a little bummed out about it. About what? Having to kill it? We made friends with it. The chicken kind of bonded with us. Like, you know, during the heat of the day, a lot of times, Chiz and I would just be lying there. And this chicken would be hanging with us. And on the first day, it got loose. It was really thirsty.

And I, like, poured some of my water in my metal cup. And it comes over there and is, like, drinking right out of my hand. And from then on, it was like a dog. Like, it would come up to you. It would let pet it it would follow you around it would kind of do this little chicken dance all happy and it would make gurgly noise this is the day that i charged the batteries so i really wasn't present for most of this so like from then on the chicken was pretty cool so i i and chiz and i bonded with it a little bit we kind of liked it and and neither of us wanted the chicken to die we didn't want to cook the chicken

toward the end. I don't know what we were going to do with it but my vote wasn't kill the chicken and neither was Chiz's. So once it was dead, I was a little bummed out but clearly I helped gut the thing and I was a part of the process. Chiz was not as happy.

Although he did eat a lot of the chicken. I ate the most. It's grief eating. Chiz was not as happy although he did eat a lot of the chicken so I'm not sure yeah openly weeping into the his former friend Geordie would you have eaten the chicken I wouldn't have killed it no I was cuz I watched a PK I was like okay before I get on the show I could I won't be up to date with everything and then because I watched the PK I was like, okay before I get on the show I could be up to date with everything and then like six other videos came. I was like fucking I'm going to bed But I watched the PK. I was like, oh they brought the chicken You know, I was just laughing because you guys mentioned it earlier and then all of a sudden you guys like and now we're gonna eat It I was like no way and then later on the show you guys are eating is terrible

But I wouldn't have killed it. I wouldn't even have brought a chicken. I would have brought a cow. Just bring a cow, you know. I was wondering why you guys wouldn't bring multiple chickens. Like, that would have been more entertaining. One a night. Yeah, maybe eggs. Had to carry this thing out there. If you watch the day we hike in, it's 30 minutes of going through jungle and shit. Chiz almost dies. And so by the time we get there get there we're not thinking you know what we should have done

brought a bunch of chickens with us like no the one chicken we carried in was like a burden enough i brought a pet carrier like big enough for like a cat or a small dog and it dramatically increased like the amount of shit in my pickup making it look and we never used the pet carrier yeah there was a lot of volume to it like it it took like it was like a quarter of our gear was actually just the damn pet carrier on the way out we carried it all in one stop because there were like all the battle boxes we were done with the packaging and stuff like that um so yeah uh the chicken was an interesting thing i i that was my idea i think i like the idea of like befriending it and then naming it and then killing it because I knew the audience wouldn't...

I knew that would shock a lot of people and I like doing that. And it's such a weird thing to get shocked over to begin with because we all eat chicken nuggets. And that chicken in particular came from one of those factory farms that all your chicken comes from. I spared it from a death sentence to be a free- a free range chicken had the best week of its life i mean it was walking around free range at the campsite eating like caterpillars off the ground and stuff now uh oh has anyone heard the audio of the chicken death can you hear the machete swing

or anything like that that's what i want to know i just want to who dealt the blow i blows several times i watched a video on how to kill a chicken and gut it and stuff because we had like this one bar flaky on and off connection and uh i managed to see a youtube video like and what they did is they just cut its neck and let the heart pump it out. But they had a special contraption to hold the chicken. It was basically like an upside-down milk jug. And they put its head through the hole and they cut the bottom off. And his legs and stuff were sticking up. So anyway, they cut the chicken's neck and his heart pumps the blood out of it really quickly.

All right. Well, we didn't have that. But they did say, like, you know what? When you cut that, is it the femoral no the jugular when you cut the jugular cut it harder than you think you need to because it's in nobody's best interest for this to take multiple tries and i took that little piece of advice and applied it to chopping the head off like i'm gonna swing this machete as hard as I can swing a machete because it's in nobody's best interest. Mine, Kyle, Chiz's, or Henrietta's for this thing to take more than one swing.

Well, Kyle was holding the head in place. And I was holding like the chicken body with one hand and swinging the machete with the other. I took maybe three or four practice swings in the wood to make sure that I'd be accurate enough not to take any Kyle's fingers with me. He also had a small log like over its head and that was to protect his fingers. Yeah, yeah.

But it didn't leave me with like a strike zone that would have really helped. Like if the log wasn't there, and I'm glad it was there, I don't want to get anyone's fingers, but it would have really helped like if the log wasn't there and i'm glad it was there i don't want to get anyone's fingers but it would have been easier to hit the neck it was actually kind of difficult kyle says i struck it in the shoulders i don't know multiple times like you hit it at the joint where the wings sort of uh like like the wings go in and then the spines right through the middle and like that's the shoulders i watched you cleave his shoulders into um and then there was a lot of blood and like feathers went flying but the

strike zone was obscured by the log and my desire not to hurt kyle and you know so i i might have gone too low on it i blame myself did that first strike kill it or did you the second strike i think kill it i i argued the second and i i think yeah he was probably dead by the second i think it really was a second by the second one i was through like his spine and his neck and whatever it was the skin on the far side and and like even the feathers and stuff that was the last two blows it took four blows and i think by two it was done it's like i, it was like Theon Greyjoy taking that blacksmith's head off. He has to kick it at the end and everything

to get the last bit to come loose. I should have done that because I've done it a lot. I've literally cut thousands of chickens' heads off and I'm really aware of what it takes to do it. You could have, if this is the chicken's head, you could have grabbed it like this and just kind of slung like you were going to body is the chicken's head you could have like grabbed it like this and just Kind of like slung like you were gonna You know body slam the chicken and the head would have just popped right off like and it would have been insta killed like their heads

Are just barely on there, but you got to get the neck like the neck itself You could have taken that machete and like wrist flicked and like like like it like a Mortal Kombat move It'll come right off their heads really are just on. I killed the chicken because I've never killed anything with the exception of that one nearly dead squirrel. I felt like it was an experience. Can you tell how much emotionally richer I am now that I've killed a chicken?

Kyle on the other hand has killed a bunch of things. I was like, you know what? I think I'd like to take something's life. I'll give it a go. Anyway, that's why i did it and that's why it was hard to do because um like i said i won my my motivation not to hurt kyle and to the the log he was using to protect his fingers log big branch thing um was was in my memory covering part of the strike zone. Probably so. Next time, don't worry, I have a specially designed chicken guillotine

that I'm going to be bringing along. Also have the chicken electric chair, so it's your choice. I say the guillotine. We'll put a straw poll in the subreddit. Sonoma. Dude. I can't believe when you started this story saying well i wanted to to get that

head off so i swung as hard as i could swing a machete like immediately it's like oh my god like this thing like you can press it down like a paper cutter in one of those things that cuts cardboard for that works projects and that would oh yeah it'll come right off like now i will tell you this particular machete was dull dr chiz literally took it and used it as a lawnmower chopping in the dirt to clear the entire campsite just hacking the ground can we talk about can i tell the story of what happened when we got to base camp all right so so we get there and and we we agree on this spot it's a little bit above the river and it's we agree on the spot whatever but there's like grasses growing out of the ground um it's not

like a leafy undergrowth there it's it's grasses i feel like they had burnt this area to like prevent lots of buildup um like that that causes the big forest fires i feel like they had they had done that you know maybe a year or two in the past because they were scorched wood as well anyway there's tall grass like maybe shin height knee high uh and he's just hacking it all down with his machete which i was just thinking like why why are you doing that and and and his hacks are he wants it short and then i realized he wants it gone he's pulling it up by the roots and he's gardening over there he's like he's tilling the earth as if we're gonna plant corn and start a new life but he just wants a soft like you know cushy spot to tread on just a big old ashtray

for him then he gets out the shovel and he starts fucking digging his huge hole right in the middle of the campsite and i'm just sitting over there watching it and he's like i'm like what are you doing he's like i'm digging a uh fire pit and i'm thinking like i guess i'll just continue to gather the firewood by myself then i'm just like i'm not gonna stop this fire pit nonsense i'll just go along with it when i came back he had a hole like this big like big enough to like he could get down in in it maybe and it they were making it deep like it was gonna be like this deep i think and then i showed up and then woody shows up and he's like, you know, Chiz now

has Patrick digging the hole, of course. Patrick's over there breaking his back. Chiz is like, yeah. So he gave him the old Tom Sawyer treatment of like, you ever painted a fence before? Oh, you gotta try digging this hole. It's great.

Some old school American trickery. He pulls on Patrick somehow. You ever dig a hole? Oh, you've never lived. Patrick's digging this deep ass hole in the middle of the forest. And Woody's like, what's going on here? Yeah, I immediately put a stop to it. They're like, we're digging a hole for the fire.

And I'm like, well, that's kind of the opposite of what we want. Neither of them knew. They weren't camping people. You want the least amount of air as possible getting to the fire, right? Otherwise, it'll blow out. Taylor, I didn't know what you knew, but I do now. You know. Yes.

Yeah. If you put the fire in a hole, you're pretty much smothering it. Only the top of it is getting any air, and you want the base of it to be breathing. So we filled in the hole and had better fires all week. Do you think that he actually thought that was the thing to do? Yeah. Or he just was like manufacturing a task for him? Like, hey, I'm going to go get some firewood.

Want to come help? Chiz is like, oh, no, I've got a fire hole. I'm on fire hole duty. It's one of the reasons why it's hard to work in groups, because everybody wants to be doing something. And everybody, sometimes you'll pick a task in your head, and you're like, Ah, this thing needs to get done, and it's gonna be my thing. And if anybody comes in and is like, hey, your thing's really not important. It's like, argh, how dare you! How dare you invalidate me and my thing!

So it can be really touchy, so i don't like to say anything when somebody's doing their thing uh meanwhile it took me a nanosecond what the what's this whole shit we can't have that cigarette out fill this up i felt like the only thing that we should have i felt like like more of everyone's time should have been spent gathering firewood i felt like i gathered so much goddamn firewood. I would go off into the woods and I'd bring back these trees that were about this big around, like not a huge tree, right? I get it. But a tree nonetheless, it's like 12 feet long and I'd have at least two of them, maybe

four of them, like two in each hand. And I'd drag them all the way back to camp and I'd drop them and I'd look and Chiz would have like this much of something. He'd be like, look at, he'd be like, I got some good shit right here. Oh yeah, some good shit right here. Throw it in the pile and then go walk way off again. And I'm just like huffing and puffing like I'm changing shirts in the middle of fire gathering to evaporate the sweat more readily and like, I'm just like, yeah, that's some good stuff, more readily and like i'm just like yeah that's some good stuff jess i'm just like back for my trees again first of all what kyle says is correct

like everything he just said is accurate the thing is while he was gathering the firewood i was usually making the fire like you know that i'm making the fire isn't always great like it's the soil's moist so if you kneel in it and stuff your pants get like they soak in the water now you've got wet knees you're on your hands and knees building it up from tiny little twig to brand there to what's after twig i don't know from like straw stuff to twig to thicker twig to branches to logs etc and i'm on my hands blowing on it took us four days to figure out you could fan it with a box and uh that was that you um and i'm you know i'm blowing and i'm begging it up so i while i didn't collect as much wood as kyle i would argue i put in every bit as much effort into the fire i would have swapped places

but i appreciated what you did i would have swapped places too uh I appreciated what you did. I would have swapped places, too. As a matter of fact, I wish I'd known that. On the last night, there was a little bit of it was like, is anyone else ever going to start a fire? Every fire all trip long has been me. I felt like that was your thing. You seemed like you were happy to be doing it and to be the one doing it. I want to step on your thing. That's what I was talking about before. It was only until the last day when I gave it away. And I think they doing it, I want to step on your thing. That's what I was talking about before.

It was only until the last day when I gave it away. And I think they filmed it too. Like you're on whatever, it's not up yet, but like day five is you starting the fire. Yeah, I start the fire from like the embers from the night before. I like gather them up and put them in some stuff and blow them into fire and create a thing. Yeah, that was fun. Kyle was on fire.

I did that in the morning, I think. Nobody filmed it, did they? No, but you were impressed by it. You saw it. You were like, you missed what Woody did this morning. You mentioned it out loud. Okay. What was the most enraging thing that someone else did on the trip that you didn't

feel comfortable blowing up at the moment? Like, because you have to have that camaraderie. Like, what did someone do that just made you so fucking mad, but you were like, I can't ruin the morale the rest of this trip? It could be either one of you two, but I have a feeling they're both going to be chis. Can't wait.

There was so much. I felt like there was a little bit of complaining going on on the walk in, and I honestly, like, I'm not in amazing shape or anything. Take a pause. I complained zero. True. Woody makes a point of being, like like the guy who will never complain like he he does he feels like and maybe that's a thing maybe it's maybe i'm just like it's not as manly as what he is but i don't

think ignoring stuff and and like pretending like it doesn't phase me is a is a gold star really like i'm i'm more than happy to let you know about my personal level of discomfort at any point during the day. Except for the walk-in, right? Let's keep morale high. We haven't even made it there yet. And I can hear them back there like, where is this place?

Are you taking us the hardest way possible? Where is it? Are we there yet? And I'm just like, no. We're not there yet. We've got a long ways to go like you told me to pick out a survival trip spot keep surviving it's that fucking way like and granted on the on the walk-in i did take us the most difficult possible way imaginable to our campsite not on

purpose either um we we we figured out the easiest route uh by the end of the trip but on the way in there it's pretty brutal and can i don't mean to be this this about like picking on chiz but it's it's funny not because chiz is lacking anyway it's it's funny because chiz is from sacramento he's not an outdoorsy guy he's never done any of this stuff and so to watch someone do it for the first time he mentioned that was the most exercise he'd ever had in his life that walk in and then sleeping for four days and then walking out and smoking his shoes that's where i was headed with this his shoes his footwear for this thing now uh woody had some had some hiking shoes remember woody had some hiking shoes they look legit and they looked like they'd hiked some. I liked

Woody's shoes. Patrick wore sneakers, which I didn't have a problem with that really. I accept sneakers. Yeah. I got really scared of snakes because I started reading the night before on the internet and apparently there's like rattlesnakes in this place and it's a bit of an issue and then I like read on some board somewhere

some forum. They were like, yeah, those timber rattlers are the worst down there around Route 82 at the end of that last road. And I'm like, shit, that's where we fucking are. That's where we are. So I went and got really high boots at Walmart. They weren't snake boots because Walmart doesn't sell snake boots, but I got big, rugged, legit hiking wilderness boots or something.

And Chiz had loafers. I noticed that. He got his first video. And it must have been like 20 minutes into your walk or something because you were still pretty spry. You know, the camera guy was going fine, Patrick was, and Woody seemed fine. But Chiz, his footfalls were like the heavy footfalls of a child

who didn't get what they want for Christmas. Just like, how much farther is it? When we got to the campsite, I think I said something like, all right, well, let's get doing this, or I'm going to walk up ahead or something. You want to come? And she was like, I think my feet are bleeding.

And I was thinking like, well, you dress like we're going to church, bro. You wore Birkenstock you were Birkenstocks Birkenstocks would have been a step up he wore these these these loafers that like boat he called him boat shoes but I'd never heard him call very sparrows they I don't know if they were legit sparrows wait he once linked what they were I I can't search my sky because everybody likes to make fun of those key the things that I wear are called keenen, K-E-E-N, sandals.

And they're like out. Were they $105? They were expensive. They were like $120, $130 or something. I saw them at like, we went to this Bass Pro place. I was like, those are Kyle's shoes. Wow, they're triple digits. Carry on.

Yeah, as ugly as they are, they're like perfect if you're going to be hiking around water sources and going in and out of water and stuff like that. They dry right off, but they cover enough of your foot that they're protective footwear and they're good for, you know, being out where we were. Can I interrupt you? Yeah. And like when I first saw them, I was like, wow, that's kind of expensive. I don't know. I mean, it was a purging mistake. You have worn them on the first survival trip, the second survival trip, on the whitewater rafting trip, and I don't know what other...

When I go hiking, I wear them. He gets his use out of them. Yeah, my ex-girlfriend got me into hiking, and she was like, well, you need hiking shoes, and we bought some hiking shoes. She had the same ones. And apparently all her hiking buddies, those are the ones they wear. So as ugly as they are, and as lame as they are, I'm not trying to impress

anybody in the woods. Yeah, Kyle's right. When Chiz walked in, he was really unhappy with it. And he would talk to me privately about it and like expecting to sort of commiserate on how terrible the walk was. And I didn't really, I was like, you know, he said it was far. What I had in my mind's eye for a perfect campsite was a little closer to the truck.

I thought we were going to kind of use the truck as a charging station for batteries more often than we had to so I thought it'd be a little closer but um you know whatever it was a 30 minute hike like it's not in retrospect that I would have done in retrospect there was a place like 20 yards off the road with like these big stones that someone had laid together and made a fire thing. And all the ground was clean. And there was even like, uh, and there was a beautiful scene there too, with a,

with a Creek running down a mountain. We should have been next time. Next year, next year, you'd have been parked next to the car. Like you'd have been like, I'm tired of this shit. Like we'd have had to move the truck.

You would have looked like such an ass. If you went to a place like that already cleared out stone pillars, there's one of those like wrought iron steel grills that's like oh the last person didn't clean it off roughing it like you gotta creep it out no i'm trying felt like where we were was was really far in there um not distance wise but i mean i don't know if that makes any sense i'll it took a while to get back out so marco what was your question what was the like thing that pissed people off that we didn't talk about just you like what did what made you resent someone else on the trip a lot but that you couldn't convey in any of the videos for fear of like ruining morale or pissing someone off or nobody was a hundred percent sure that kyle was hunting in the morning

kyle would get up quietly so as not to bother anyone and the truth is i slept through it every time but chis and patrick both talked to me about their experience of witnessing kyle like like like elmer fudd hunting for wabbit, quietly getting out of his hammock so as not to make any noise whatsoever, not even stepping on a dried leaf on his way as he gets out of camp, so as to be sure that he doesn't bring anybody with him. That was our interpretation of it.

The cameraman would have loved to have filmed Kyle hunting, but it just really didn't seem welcome. Chiz would have liked to have filmed kyle you know hunting but like it just really didn't seem welcome chiz would have liked to have gone no and then kyle's method of hunting is to make a beeline for his truck and drive places and then he comes back fucking whistling he's singing he's like skipping and happy and we're like there is taco bell in that motherfucker's belly you were waiting for one all this where like all three of them were sitting around the fire kyle wakes up walks out and they just have a fire sauce packet in between them like hey kyle uh what's this

all right so let me explain all this okay so you're absolutely right i would i would wake up really early but it was like i I usually sleep with like dark curtains. So like if the sun shines in my eyes, I'd all wake up. So every morning, the sun's at about 9.30, it'd come up high enough to wake me up. So I'd get up out of bed and start getting ready. You were almost always snoring. Patrick was usually snoring as well. And I really genuinely didn't want to wake anybody. Like growing up, I always tiptoed around the house.

Still to this day, I'm almost 30, I tiptoe not to wake anybody i i like like growing up like i always tiptoed around the house still to this day i'm almost 30 i tiptoe not to wake anybody and so i genuinely just didn't want to wake anyone i and i as much as i wanted a cameraman with me on the hunting thing i was thinking like i haven't killed shit like like i know that his presence we're gonna be talking he's gonna be over there like not sitting still like until i actually achieve something like maybe it's not time to bring a whole crew with me and film my failure for for the next two hours you don't want to share your flamethrower whopper even on day one and this might be true this might be true but it it just seems so skeptical to us he's like you know what now mind you we hiked in like 30 minutes he relied on he's got a gps app in his phone right not not a regular one like one

built for hikers where you can set these waypoints in the woods that show you where the creeks are and he's like oh i accidentally went straight to my truck on the first day go straight to my truck it was if that was true then i had been hunting for over an hour and a half and what the way i would try to squirrel hunt even though i've never done it before I've read a little bit about it I would go from spot to spot sit under our own a rock or a stump or something and just not try not to move and watch the trees for and half an hour to 45 minutes an hour and then I'd move to the next spot and it was like an hour and a half or two hours when I sent that text message it's probably still in our phone thing

you could see like when I sent that but I started hunting it like 9 in the morning so at some point yeah, I found that green field, which was confusing. And I kept walking. And I made my way back to the road. And I found the trucks. And I was like, I've hunted all this part here. I know if I go back and I just walk through the camp and there's nothing there. It's those bushes between the road and us. I was like, I've seen squirrels here before. I should drive drive around see if I can see them out the window and then just pull over walk into the woods and hunt for The squirrels are and I thought that was a good idea And so I did and I told you guys about it. There was just a whistling thing. Let me explain that

I didn't want to look like a pussy at any point, but I was legitimately afraid of those snakes And so like all the time when I was walking I was trying to whistle or clap or like I was legitimately afraid of those snakes. And so, like, all the time when I was walking, I was trying to whistle or clap or, like... Shouting the bad thoughts out of your head. Singing. To make the snakes, like, you know, hear me coming. So they would... Because the fear is stepping on one. If you step on it, it's not gonna rattle, it's just gonna bite you.

And, like, I was so afraid because there was, like, this undergrowth of green stuff that meant that there was, like, eight inches eight inches of like ground you couldn't see like the there was the ground and then there was this green stuff above it and you couldn't really see where you were stepping and i was scared shitless walking through it all the time kyle mentioned how many times he went to his truck like every time he went hunting he he even said that one of his hunting techniques was to look out the window of his truck and just like look for squirrels and shit. By the last day, I was ready to pull a drive-by.

He seems so much more connected to the outside world. Like I was in my mental state anyway lost in the woods without a real great way to get back to civilization. Kyle was like, oh, yeah, we don't really know how to cook this bird. I can get some canola oil. I'll just walk back, head off to walmart grab some oil in a pot and true and he was just much more like i felt like i know i offered that and i'm always offering my ideas up for you know the group to review just like with the cookies when when i got those cookies i did not eat a single fucking cookie um i I left them all wrapped up, and I informed the group. I was

like, hey, this guy just gave me cookies. I know that sounds insane. A guy just gave me fucking cookies back here. He was like some 70-year-old guy. I honestly don't know the origin, but he said something about his wife sends him out here to give them to the boys. I looked. They were expiring

the day before he was giving them to us. They were like, I don't know, maybe they own a country store or something and they're just giving away expired cookies. But I didn't eat them and I didn't think we should eat them if I'm being honest. So when Chiz replied back, bring them, man! I just want to check this thing.

I don't know if I can show this to you guys very well, but Kyle wrote Here, just read it. I don't know if I can show this to you guys very well, but Kyle wrote... Here, just read it. Okay. An old guy just drive by and gave me muffins and cookies. I swear to God. Because I knew it was outrageous to even believe.

And then Chiz says something about where keys are. And then Chiz says, in all capital letters. I don't know if you can see it. It's right there. Bring them back and share. That's surviving. No way. And I was like, ha ha, funny joke in my head. And then continued hunting.

And then Kyle wrote, I won't open them. Battery dying, FYI. And then he came back with no cookies. Yeah, I didn't bring the cookies back because I didn't eat any. I just left them in the vehicle. I figured, you know, shouldn't do it. But then the group was like, no, bring those motherfucking cookies.

That's surviving. You foraged for those. Yeah, he was indigenous to the area. He was no different than a deer. He's just like a deer. So I was like, all right, I'll bring them back, and I ate some cookies too. Yeah, those cookies were delicious.

They were much better than Henrietta was. Jordy, do you have any camping experience? Any Timberman? I do, but it's just on the south of France. And we just go camping with the family. But no hunting. I never killed anything. Not even like a kitten or something?

No. Only like two kids like last summer, but that was about it. His name is Jordy. It would have been funny to bring Wings on the trip, and he's like, all right, I know how to do this. By day one, stick the chicken under a bucket. By day four, on stage now, we're good. We kill him and cook him simultaneously.

Just put him under the bucket. Yes, nice. Put him back to the fire. What happened? So what's camping in southern France like? The weather is great. And you just put up your tent and then get really drunk at night. At the campfire. Pick up all the French girls.

All wine. i have pictures yeah wine and dirty cheese where are you from are you from amsterdam the netherlands amsterdam the netherlands aha i'm one of those how legal is pot there like my mom told me that they were like outlawing it and sort of scaling back on all the um coffee shops and stuff yeah so so drug like most drugs aren't illegal here but they just they just don't really care if you use it it's decriminalized um so i think it's less less legal than in some states in america but you can have up to two ounces i think if that's the correct or like you look like someone who knows their drug laws like i know i know my drug laws i don't do drugs okay um everybody's always like oh you live in amsterdam oh you must do drugs and go to the

to the red light district like every day um not every day sunday yeah every other sunday that's what i tell them yeah um but um you can just go up to a it's called a coffee shop and you don't buy coffee over there you buy weed over there so you just walk into a store like a like a bar and then you just go like okay could i have two joints please or you go could i have uh 10 grams of weed please and they're like. And then they just hand you over the weed and you can smoke it in the place or you can go outside on the streets and smoke it outside on the streets. Is it a somewhat embarrassing experience

or is it just like buying groceries? No, no, no. It's like they're all real. Like the bar is like you're walking into just a place people are chilling out, you know, just with their friends. And it's like buying a pack of cigarettes when i used to grow up i didn't know the difference disgusting and vile well

it's even like it's even less frowned upon um i i i'd say out of personal experience like if someone's smoking marijuana here it's like okay you know you're like you're smoking weed sure you're one of those guys but if someone's smoking cigarettes it's like why you know you're smoking weed sure you're one of those guys but if someone's smoking cigarettes it's like why are you smoking cigarettes it's stupid it's killing you um but like i don't really care about it i get all if someone does it but uh i think cigarette smell and marijuana has like a pretty good smell to it it does chiz and i were uh we're trying to push chis once for an amsterdam uh pka trip or at least one that that stopped in amsterdam along the way um i saw this one place where like all the buildings or maybe the streets were like these rainbow colors and i thought that looked really cool

um and i guess there's a lot of uh a lot of historical stuff there and some cool museums it's not just weed and and prostutes and bikes. That's what I was trying to say. I was like, what are you guys talking about? It's not just weed and prostitutes, Woody. There's going to be stuff for you, too. That's the problem I have. It's always like, oh, yeah.

Imagine what going to Amsterdam with Kyle is like, right? She's going to do it. Okay, imagine... Let's get a patron level for that. Go to Amsterdam with Kyle is like, right? Okay. Imagine. Let's get a patron level for that. Go to Amsterdam with Kyle. Yeah, right.

I think six grand will do it. That'll get my ticket, your ticket, and a little spending cash. We'll have a great time. If you go to Amsterdam with Kyle and you're not into prostitute and weeds, prostitutes and weed, prostitutes and weed. I'm messing this up. Then I feel like you're going to spend a lot of time on park benches waiting for Kyle to finish his fun. I wonder what I over there, by the way, just saying you have to stand and wait like you're

not selling it. That was coming in your area, living on them. They're like almost no hobos hobos because we have these shelters. Because it's cold? At the moment, it isn't really cold. But like winter, like peak winter, it's pretty cold. But all the hobos, they get free shelters because they're like, yeah, we don't want these guys on the street.

Let's just put them into these buildings we don't use anyways. They get free food. People burn the building down probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They close it off and they go fight it out. The final solution. That's what should be done. They should give them a bunch of free pot, let them wander around until they find their way into another one of those little European countries.

What they do with the guys that drink too much, instead of locking them up and giving them jail time, like these hobos that drink a lot, they pay in booze. So they're like, okay, they gotta clean the streets, keep everything clean, and they just get paid in beer bottles. It's really weird.

That's Amsterdam for you. In bottles? There's legit beer, or cans or whatever, beer cans. But they get paid. Come on, this sounds great. He's not selling it to you? Maybe we could volunteer at one of these homeless shelters. Hey, that's the PKA adventure,

is we do, you know, good Samaritan work in the Netherlands and see how long we can survive on weed and booze. See you down? Like, if you would ever come up... Last one to get syphilis wins! Alright, alright. Let's go to the Watch Me Together link. Do you guys still have it?

I don't know anything about that. I don't think I ever had it. It's at 837 in the chat. I have that now. Yes. Alright. I want to watch this together somebody linked it I've never used this before I don't know all you need to do is open the page I got it from here all right are you on the page yeah I'm ready yeah say oh

actually don't do it was the ones you can't bring with you I can't I play you yeah you did yeah well all right shit yeah I know it was a control he's a little shit always submitted a lot alfornia yeah we're doing two shows now we just added an eight o'clock we have not it's all fucked you guys all love your watch together and then they all make it yeah fuck you those ones can bring you okay yeah so we're doing this place on those people and

that's why why is it echoing is somebody it's only you people it's Taylor I bet I know I can hear you I was like let me just not say anything it's impossible for it to me that a lot of that is like how you... It's Taylor. Taylor. My sound is muted. How you've always approached bad situations. So there's not even any sound coming from me. Did you open like two windows? No. I will check that though.

No, that's not it. All right. Fuck watch together. This shit is shit. Favorite trip. All right. This is exactly what happened last time yeah there's a link sync up when you're ready at what time uh it'll be 1 30

but there's a time stamp in the url oh okay perfect i'm there all right ready set loading add give me a second take your time uh tell me when you're ready take your time well hurry up okay okay got it right ready set place was the one in Alaska which was the most miserable but Ronella had a really fucking good point about that trip and he was talking about things that are fun he's like there's things that are fun while you're doing them and then they're not fun afterwards but there's things that are not fun while you're doing them and they become really fun after you've done it such an interesting point yeah it's one of his buddies has this scale of fun yeah it's like and the cheapest easiest fun is like roller coaster rides

but nobody looks back on a roller coaster ride goes man that time went down roller coaster man yeah we did that roller dude we went up we went down with all those other people strapped to our seat no no you need you need an element of suffering you need to be shivering in the morning and wet and i think because they've done some studies on what happens when you're in those situations you create anxiety actually creates oxytocin and oxytocin is a bonding chemical so when you're going through this shit when it's raining and you're cold and you're like fuck man this is gonna suck we're gonna go find a deer it's actually a bonding experience and what happens is when you think back on it like what are you gonna do when

you're sitting there freezing in the rain you're gonna make each other laugh it's just silliness well you know what else you're gonna do and I think well with you and I yeah but you and I have a good attitude for that. We can both just accept the fact that we're in a bad environment. There's some people that just can't accept it, and they freak out. Yeah. Those are the ones you can't bring with you. I can't bring those people with me. Yeah.

But even those people. Where are they going? I always submit that a lot of that is, like, how you've always approached bad situations. Like, how have you learned? Well, I would say it's also. All right. I like that, though. It was an interesting thought, right? Like, I look back on some of this emotional Richard talk that I that I bring in. And it's like, yeah, that time we hiked like 15 miles a day in Yosemite. Like, that was the thing I remember.

Some of my mancations in Nicaragua, sleeping with the damn cockroaches. And like those, those are things I look back on and think like, these were really cool things that I've done. Some of my athletic stuff, roller coasters on the other hand is the opposite scale in both ways. Like while you're doing them, it's cheap, awesome fun. I love roller coasters,

but like you said, you don't look back on it and say like, wow, I went through the shit, man, two loops back on it and say, like, wow, I went through this shit, man. Two loops in a row. Like, no, it's not a lasting thing. And the kind of like fond memories, it tied into me with people with military experience.

I have no military experience. But I think about the people that do, and they're like, yeah, you know, like you can just never get that again. It's, oops, doing that video video it's a one-time thing um i'm still trying i don't think you have to go through shit though for it to be memorable like you can go water skiing or something and have that be memorable your first time or it's a lot of fun and exhilarating and memorable but you don't have to look back on it like oh man who could have fallen like i don't there doesn't have to look back on it like, oh, man, who could have fallen? Like, I don't there doesn't need to be some tribulation.

I mean, I've been I've been water skiing much times and it's a good day, but it's somewhere in between like car camping and roller coaster. Like, it's fun to do. It's a it's a good exercise, a good exercise and a good activity. But like, imagine that you're in a military situation and like that was the shit and it was rough to live through and you're scared and a good activity. But imagine that you're in a military situation and that was the shit and it was rough to live through and you're scared and you're there. Tim Kennedy, it was actually the Joe Rogan show. No, it was Fighter and the Kid.

Anyway, they were talking to Tim Kennedy. Tim Kennedy is this, I don't know what he is, some sort of special forces, Green Beret, Delta Force, Navy SEAL, badass type dude. And when people die who are Special Forces, he's going to the funeral. And one of the wives was like, you know, you didn't know him. Like, I was his wife. You know, you didn't know this guy like I did.

And he didn't say it, but in his head he's thinking no you didn't know him this was my brother like this was by man we were in the shit together like yeah we spent three days hiding in woods with enemy nearby under the branches hoping that nobody would find us you know talking not talking being scared like watching each other's back, willing to die for each other. Yeah, but they didn't spend weeks or months trading passive-aggressive manipulative jabs over the dishes or yard work. I had a fight with Jackie today. We should talk about that. But anyway, and I could just see, like, he knows this guy on a level that most people never, like, get to. Because you're not going through this shit together like that.

But they look back on it as, you know, sometimes the highlight of their lives. You know, there are guys who are military service, especially if it's wartime military service, who just feel like, ah, yeah, yeah. You know, when I was like 18 to 22, I did this thing and the rest of my life never quite matched what I did then. And, uh, I don't know something about these vacations. I hate to compare that to military experience, but it, Oh no, I feel like it's a good comparison. What we just did a tour in Iraq, potatoes. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Tomatoes. what we just did a tour in iraq potatoes yeah yeah right tomato five days in the wilderness

one bar it was so bad you know you know gifts would barely even load it was outrageous we went to this shit together but um you know when i when i think of things i like to do i'm right now trying to come up with halfway things right like so Kyle and Chiz were like you know there's one thing I learned about this trip never again I don't know how Kyle feels today but while he was there he was like this is just the worst idea in the world right what about Trans-Siberian Railway right like what if we took a train through Russia oh my god that sounds i'd rather spend 30 days in the wilderness with no chicken no chicken i'm just not doing a bunch of drunk russians if you had no chicken how would you

get sexual relief if i mean i will be there okay yeah it fits i uh i don't know about that i um i ran into a russian woman one time and she tried to introduce me to her son in Russian, and I tried to explain to her that I portray a character, and that, you know, what does ekhnakwe mean? I think it means fuck you or something like that, and she called me a kurva, and she just got all red-faced. I don't want to run into, like into the five actual Russian fans of FPS Russia on the Trans-Siberian Railroad

and get butt-fucked in a bathroom and then thrown off the train somewhere. Pretend to be us on the internet isn't enough anymore. Just his fucking eating in his dining car. I can't get up. Just people next to me. I don't know. I'm going to eat his meal. Nobody will ever notice. Woody will come back my food will be gone he'll assume I came to dinner without him two days go past I'm in the gulag somewhere no I'm not going to Russia I can take us to somewhere

that's not a third world country that's cool okay okay so Amsterdam yeah so we go from the southern tip of South America back home without ever renting a car or a plane, right? So it has to be buses, taxis, and trains. You're so crazy. That'll be three days of... Let me explain something. Like, they're going to kidnap you.

Your wife is going to give them all your money. And then you're going to come home with minus a finger or an ear that's how that plays out and i don't know who they are if it's guatemala where they get you or where it's honduras where do you make it all the way to mexico before someone takes mr gamer tag the uh the the rich guy from the internet we've all heard of but it'll be one of those um like somebody some like some south american fan is totally gonna, tell their brother who's in a cartel or something, or is, like, a professional fucking kidnapper. They're going to have your ass. You'll be like, come on, get in my taxi, Woody.

R-S-K. And then the next thing you know, you're bound and gagged like being held in a bus somewhere. I'm hard to kidnap. Let's go to a first world country with some cool shit. America has so much cool shit. Come on. You know what the West is like. You ever been to Mount St. Helens?

That shit's outrageous. It's a lava field that goes on forever. You can take as much of that with you as you want, as long as you don't tell anybody. I don't know why you'd want to opt for the bus, taxi, train option from somewhere that they're not going to be like that greyhound that Chiz was on. The people in these countries dream.

Dream about that greyhound that Chiz was on the people in these countries dream about that greyhound you know you know in some places the buses don't have actual piles of shit all over the place no one's taking a piss right next to you no one dies on the American buses really no one not even the old no not even the old i want 100 of people make it i want to take um what the a rickshaw a rickshaw a rickshaw powered by donkey like that sounds like part of the adventure making someone carry you i have you guys ever been on a rickshaw yeah that's what spurred my whole reason like look at her hat i thought you could get all those hobos and have them pull in rickshaws and race each other. Yeah, one time. But it was a bicycle-powered rickshaw. I don't know if that's normal.

Oh, I saw that. That was in your video when you all went to the theater or the movies or something like that. In hindsight, taking my whole family to the theater via human-powered rickshaw seems a little classist. I feel like if you had a little whip and you'd be like, you could work it out with the guy beforehand and be really shitty to him.

Oh, can we talk about me being shitty to the waitress? Because I still defend that. I think Taylor will have some fun hearing about this. Can I tell the story or would you like to? Because I feel like your version is awfully skewed and mine will just be... Give us the true story. Go ahead.

So we spent all this time in the woods, right? And I know the chicken was there, but I ate one little... I didn't eat any of the chicken realistically. I don't think I even swallowed what I ate. And there just wasn't a lot of food. And I'm used to eating a lot.. I was walking a lot. I did lose nine pounds. I started at 183, ended up at 174. I was hungry, really hungry, hungrier than I'd been in a long time. I just had an aching pain in the bottom of my stomach. I really wanted that food. We

decided to go to Longhorn Steakhouse. We get there and we order our food and we it's supposed to be on the way and she asked she asks me she says well which would you like first your soup or your salad and i said whichever you can get to me the fastest 15 minutes later the bread's gone the appetizer still hasn't come all of our drinks are empty chis ordered a coffee at the beginning of us getting there like 20 minutes ago still doesn't even have his coffee all of our drinks are empty. Chiz ordered a coffee at the beginning of us getting there, like 20 minutes ago, still doesn't even have his coffee. All of our drinks, like I said, are empty. Like, we need refills. Everything's gone and nothing has come. We've ordered soups, salads, and appetizers.

It's not there. And I was just coming unglued. And I go to the group, I'm like, am I being unreasonable here? I'm like, I'm fucking pissed. I was like, I want my food. And Woody's like, I gave you permission to do whatever you need to do. And I'm like, I'm fucking pissed. I was like, I want my food. And Woody's like, I give you permission to do whatever you need to do. And I'm like, I'm about to make a goddamn

scene. I was like, they already stuck us with the chunky unattractive waitress. Like, ugh. We got the bottom of the barrel waitress. There were much hotter waitresses. There were five hotter. And the hottest one was smoking hot. Just huge tits and a big

like country western ass. Second hottest one. And that's what I wanted right then. I wanted to eat that steak off her big country western ass because I hadn't had sex in five days and I hadn't eaten anything real in five days and I didn't care which I got first. And I get this fat chunky motherfucker and she's just

not showing up. She's back there eating her food or something and I'm just, I'm going to the group. I'm like, what's the deal here? Right? Like, Chiz, this is fucked up, right? He's like, yeah, fucked up. And even Patrick's like super polite British ass is like, this is a bit weird, isn't it? Been a while. Been a while.

And then Woody's like, yeah, I give you permission to do whatever you want. And I'm like, I'm about to fucking throw my drink in the fucking floor and be like, I made a mess! And while you're here, where's our shit like i'm about to like take this glass it's like full of ice and lemon and a little water now that it's all melted and like fucking sling it in the floor and make a real mess for her to come clean up so she has to bring us something or at least i can communicate with her because she's not even coming

within sight she's been in the back for like 20 minutes, seemingly. So, finally she came. She had her food. And I asked her. I had this part on video if anyone would like to see or hear. Everything at once? Did she bring out the soup, the salad, and your appetizers, and the entrees all at once? Not the entrees. The entrees came later.

In quick order. Ah, bitch. I hate that. I feel like I'm on their time then. You know? Yeah. They're rushing me feel like she was just making a there was a serving tray back there and as each item came up she was putting it on it and

then she's like oh one trip and like no you owe us four trips in the first 20 minutes like this yeah go right ahead the thing the infamous wo Woody's terrible to wait staff incident. We got there. The toughness voice. He's tricking you. We got there. We ordered. And 20 minutes had gone by. And we hadn't gotten anything.

Not even our drinks yet. Right? And Kyle's like, you know, it really was you being a dick, Woody. Because that guy had to find someone else working there to open the beer. Which is kind of sort of kind of true. But there was the bartender sitting there. like with making eye contact with us all 20 minutes this guy was just fucking out off the reservation on the other hand the time that Kyle flips out it was 15 minutes not 20 we had all gotten our

drinks she had served us she had she had served as bread and butter we are like I was eating mandatory like everybody gets bread and butter. That's mandatory. Everybody gets bread and butter. It's like she was slicing it up for us. We had drinks. We had bread. We had butter. We were being taken care of.

Not well. We made this down like three things that she did to us. She was like, what do you want to drink? And here's the bread that everybody gets. Yeah, and I asked for two drinks. I got water and sweet tea. She went above and beyond with that water for you. You're right.

Mother Teresa. Because one of my new things is I don't rehydrate with sugar water. So I just sort of down the waters and then have the drink as a snack, like a treat. Anyway, so we had sort of been taken care of. Now Kyle's right. 15 minutes is a little slow for soup and salad. But I'll tell you, when it comes to who's the bigger dick to wait staff, I hand my crown to you.

I disagree. And in my defense, here's the thing. I don't know about the times. It's hard to say. Is it 17 minutes? Was it 12 minutes in Chicago? The things that stuck out to me as difference makers in the Chicago altercation was our waiter was

underaged and he couldn't serve he couldn't open up the thing with the alcohol and i think they have a thing where like all the drinks anyway have to come out together and so he's like well i can't bring kyle his root beer until i bring chiz his real beer and i can't bring woody sweet tea without chiz's you know beer in tow as well so i think it took him a while to get a key for that it took him too long i'll admit but when the manager came over and asked if everything was going okay there was some discussion about shouldn't we have already been served and what's the fucking problem no no no no no no i did not curse at the manager that's the thing oh get chiz right now i got a thousand says you dropped an f-bomb in

front of the manager don't even f-bomb in front of the manager i don't know loudly okay like like a what the fuck like it was one of those f-bomb in front of the manager in my case the harshest thing i said to her was don't you work for tips like because i want to tip you well if you were if you're working hard for me like fucking let's give you 20 extra. Because right now I'm very sensitive to how quickly my food gets to me. It's been so fucking long. We've been sitting here so fucking long. I stand behind all this.

This was 10 minutes late. No more bread. We're hungry. No more bread. We've been sitting here 15 minutes eating nothing. Look at this. It's clear. This time it's not even me. She asked me, which do you want first?

You're super yourself. I said, whichever one you can get to me fastest. Here she comes. Oh, she's in a hurry. She's done. She's done. He's big talk. She's done in this this established I've got connections way up the ladder my friendship friends like

like she's done it she's actually made it here with the food that's what I was saying and then yeah I was totally up for like clapping for as she came he was clapping sarcastically yeah nobody got there he wanted us all to clap I didn't fall i didn't i didn't catch on at the time and with my uh why you were being a you know kind of bitchy at her seeing as how you hadn't eaten anything but a chicken that became your friend in the last five days like the best is patrick patrick after like i say all this

shit to her and and verbatim pretty much what i said that I remember, I know I asked her if she worked for Tibbs. And she didn't say anything. And I was like, because come on. It's been too long. Work for me here. I was like, work with me here. Let's go. Come on.

Did you do that, you patronizing ass? No, no, he didn't. He was like, you work for Tibbs now, don't you? No. It was much closer to my version then. Come on. Same team. let's do this no that's totally what i was going for he didn't you don't have this part recorded so

so i'll tell the story anyway i want to no no it was like you work for tips don't you like it was clearly a threat yeah okay yeah that's the second time you said it is closer but it wasn't like it wasn't super pronounced i was trying not to be a super dick but anyway i was i was being rude to her on purpose i really was if i think of if i'm being honest and that was the point of it she needed to be rude to like like i needed to like hey wake up you're fucking up and nobody's gonna call you out on it but like i'm paying you right now like like and part of our decision is how much above what you normally get you deserve so like don't you work for tips? Come on.

We're hungry. Take care of us. Do you know why Kyle was so much harsher on this woman who got us drinks and bread immediately and then took fit because she was ugly and she was fat? I would have made that cute girl cry if she treated us like that. I don't care. No. I certainly was like...

He was nicer to the handsome dude than he was that fat chick. Was there a handsome dude? There was a handsome dude at the Chicago place. The pizza guy. Oh, the pizza guy. I don't think I really talked to him at all. He brought my shit in a timely-ish

fashion, I felt like. I didn't feel like... I wasn't all that angry about the drinks. I don't think I was that thirsty. Maybe that's the difference. But we we were hungry and I wanted my shit so after she left Patrick said something like you know in London I'd be considered very rude I was like it's considered very rude here too

I was aiming for very rude when I said that to that lady bullseye congratulations I was aiming for very rude when I said that to that lady. Bullseye. Congratulations. It sounds like you were kind of being a dick. Just based on the... It's not unwarranted dickery. And I asked the group, to my credit, I was like,

Hey, look guys, this is upsetting me. I'm about to melt down here. Is this warranted? And even Woody, everybody was like yeah yeah let her have it like yeah it's been too much it's been too and especially chiz like as you can imagine chiz was just as motivated as i was to get some food himself so like he was like yeah bitch ain't brought me my he wants that cough it's his drug of choice you know like see if they have cigarettes. At a restaurant.

So how much did you tip her eventually? 7%. Yeah. Too much. A polite minimum, I would say. Which was like $9.80 or something. Something like that, yeah. Because if you were really me, you could have been like, well, I tipped her $50 so she didn't be complaining.

Oh, and here's one thing to note. Just think about this before you think I was too big of a dick after I had that little talk with her the service quality improved 500% it did if I and the manager came along like hey you guys okay you happy Kyle's like she told on me she's totally went back there and got this little... Chipper little manager bitch to come out and tell us that. I was not... I was not... like she caught me off guard like I'm just eating and she's there, Hi!

And I'm just, what the fuck? What are you... Like I was like, hi! Like what are you doing here? Like don't kick me out before I can finish. Give me three minutes then berate me. The worst part about... like after I ate that, I ate a New York strip steak, a big bowl of potato soup, which was undercooked, by the way. My soup was awful, and I didn't complain, didn't say a word. That salad, which wasn't very good either, but I ate all of it too. And that appetizer. Like two hours later, I went to Five Guys and got a large bacon cheeseburger with two patties and a huge Cajun fry and ate all that shit.

Yeah, why Longhorn? Why did you guys – as my list of steakhouses goes, Longhorn is damn near the bottom, if not the bottom. There has to be somewhere else. Outback didn't open until 4 p.m. Yeah, it was noon. We didn't have a lot of choices. Yeah, it was the nicest thing we could come up with

where we didn't have to drive out of everyone's way because I was going to – after dinner, Woody had to go one way and I had to go the other. We totally did not go in the direct. We were driving there. It was like a 15-minute drive. I'm like, wouldn't it be great if we were headed towards home? It's 85 south. No, we were headed towards Florida. Yeah, but the thing was if we didn't do that, then we would have had to drive 45 minutes

the way that you actually needed to go, and that meant that I had to go 45, and then 45 back, and then I still had stuff to do. That's the closest steakhouse, by far, without going back to J. Peters. Well, it sounds like you were a little bit of an asshole, maybe overzealous,

a little overzealous with getting your steak, but you were hungry, bit of an asshole maybe over over zealous a little over zealous with getting your steak but you were hungry and another thing you shouldn't have been saying things in earshot that were shitty to her before your food served that's something that i like never do unless i plan on like walking out i know right they will fuck with your food i really fuck with your food i've had enough friends and restaurants to know that they will fuck with your food like i didn't care there was nothing she could do to my food that was going to make it unappetizing for me. Actually, it wasn't that good to begin with.

She got there and I didn't care for my steak, but I ate every bit. Mine wasn't quite right either. No, yours wasn't cooked right. Neither was mine. I was just in a more chipper mood. I don't know. I didn't have a terrible week, especially after Henrietta. Post-Henrietta, I had a breath of fresh air.

How did that taste? She was stringy and tough. She was overcooked and stringy somehow. We boiled her before we fried her. I think that's part of the problem. We cooked the boilers for way too long. And I knew it. I was like, I think we were just supposed to dip her.

And Kyle's like, more is better. And it was so good it in there we we boiled her so good that when i go to pluck the feathers all the skin comes off in my hand and i'm just like well keep going i rip all the skin off skinless fried chicken but uh i and i was the one that i boiled my fucking hand it wound his glove i was the one that cut the meat off the bone or at least like 90 of it and um uh so the pieces were too small like a better version of me might have get like carved it like a turkey dinner but i just felt like i don't know like it was hard to do appropriate no i thought that those pieces were perfect like for what we were doing i think it was bad because

we boiled it for too long beforehand because Because if you remember, as you're cutting the meat off the chicken, it's already white, and it was cutting super easy like cooked chicken almost. We boiled that chicken. But if you cut it in bigger pieces, even if it was a little boiled, you could have thrown the bigger piece with the bigger surface area into the oil,

let it sit for just as long to crisp up the outside, and it's not going to make it as dense. Bigger pieces would have been better, I think. But, you know, it also was a small chicken. It wasn't like a... I don't know if it was a full-grown meat bird or whatever, but it wasn't a big example of a meat bird, right?

Yeah. It still didn't have those fucked up legs that they show on the Discovery Channel. Kyle had a chicken voice. I don't know that I can do it, but he's like, Hey, guys, we're friends now. You want to fix my dislocated toe? Yeah, he had that one little broken toe.

Yeah, one toe went off to the side. He's like, yeah, we're going to fix it. We're going to live forever together, right? Is that what you guys think it was thinking as you were holding it down? Hey, after we're done here, I'm going to go back, eat some more bugs near your pond. I noticed they were getting to be a bit of an had to go looking at you like the bad guy in those movies where they're

already shot just tell me so bad I didn it. I felt so bad. I didn't want to kill that fucking chicken. There was nothing to eat, though. There was no animals in those goddamn woods that would come anywhere near us. Like, I saw lots of tracks from the beaver, and I saw lots of pig tracks, too. And I think I probably could have went over there, like, above us and, like, hunted over that, like, ditch. But I just didn't want to. That's really the reason I didn't go.

It might have been a good idea, but, like, I didn't even know where I'd go. I just can't believe you didn't want to that's that's really the reason i didn't go it might it might have been a good idea but like i didn't know where i'd go and it's just gonna you didn't get anything we didn't see what he what he said he saw a squirrel one day yeah but i didn't have a good shot at it i was i was fishing and uh it was like fishing with two rods so i'm really out in the woods quiet for like hours and uh while i'm there, I've got my shotgun next to me, like just in case a thing happens. Because if you're quiet in the woods and there was like feral pig tracks near me and beavers dams near me and I'm fishing. And it's like this is the place where all the animals seem to come. I'll sit here with my shotty in case they do. And in the trees, I looked up and i heard like the squirrel rustle and then you know

how you look through the leaves and like there's little patches of blue sunlight he jumped across it and i'm 100 sure i saw a thing could have been a bird could have been a squirrel uh spider monkey i don't know but uh i saw it jump across and then i grabbed my gun and i waited for any kind of hint that like and i just something moves again i'm going to shoot that spot and that i didn't get I saw it jump across, and then I grabbed my gun, and I waited for any kind of hint that, like, something moves again, I'm going to shoot that spot, and I didn't get that opportunity. And I nearly shot the spot anyway. I nearly shot it anyway.

I'm like, well, it seems like he went from there to there. I'll just shoot, and maybe the buck will spread and hit a thing. But I didn't shoot it, nothing. I couldn't see. Did you guys shoot at all? No, but at the very end of the trip. But I didn't shoot it. Nothing I couldn't see. Did you guys shoot at all? No. But at the very end of the trip. Where did you like, fuck this shit, and just start shooting in the air, trying to hit some birds or something?

Well, our cameraman was British. And it was like, well, since you don't live in a real country, I'll give you an opportunity to experience a little freedom. And he shot my shotgun. How did you like it? Did you hit anyone? Well, no. I had him aim at a bank of dirt so we'd know where everything was going. And he said the kick, the recoil,

was not as bad as he expected it to be. He's like, so I guess this is not a bad one. I was like, it was a 12-gauge shotgun. That's really as bad as most normal guns get. Yeah, it was a pretty legit shell in there, too. Yeah. So people, I don't know. Most grown men, and he's a pretty legit shell in there too yeah so uh so it people i don't know most grown men and he's a grown man don't like have a huge problem with gun recoil you know it's

not a big deal yeah so how were the crawdads you were the only one who ate one bad um i see now we i watched a video on how to cook them in advance and uh apparently it involves a lot of fresh water like you you catch them and then you rinse them rinse them rinse them just pour lots of water off them until they look um until the water running off them is clean which can take like 15 minutes and then you cook them and you repeat that process you know tons of clean clear water until like AF post cooking you did that we didn't have access to any of that kind of water so we just tossed them cooked them and then I ate it and to our credit though they smelled great like I poured a bunch of paprika and salt in the water till it was like foggy

and red and when they came out of that water, they looked and smelled like something that you would get in a restaurant. They did. They did. And, uh, but the problem is once I like took the shell off and, and I read like you snap its head off and you suck out the inside, there was so much poop in there that I'm like,

that's sucking that out. And I'm like scooping the poop out with my finger. And I don't, I don't even know if i got anything from the head at all because it was just filled with shit and then i go to the rest of it and i'm like there's poop everywhere but there's like a in the middle of it there's like a ditch almost like it's v-shaped is the insides of his body so i'm just like pulling that thing out scooping that out and by the time you get all the shit out you're like wow it seems like 60 of the content of a crawl dad is shit and uh and i'm like like trying

to nibble you know and i'm like yeah it's very small the two crawl dads combined had about as much meat as my pinky maybe doubt that much i doubt it i ripped mine in half too i say mine the one i picked up i ripped it in half too and i looked and you're right it was just like there was some white meat in there that looked a lot like lobster meat it kind of ringed the uh the the interior of the thing but in the center cavity that's where it keeps a whole bunch of shit i don't know why there's that much shit in there like i don't think there's that much shit in me right now like it was a huge amount and it was just like i gotta like and then like it was like washing and i was like nah i just i don't want to eat anything that's just been adjacent to shit much less like covered in shit

like you have a snack they're covered in shit i'll pass yeah that's just very true and in my head i was still thinking like all right you know i can catch like a couple of these a day i can survive i can thrive out here in the woods. And I've watched a lot of survival programs and they're like dead, tired, you know, barely able to make it. They catch like one lizard and suddenly they're like, all right, second wind. You know, with this lizard protein, I can catch more lizards and build a net and structure and all that fun stuff. And I thought that was going to happen to me, but no. I was like, you know what, Woody?

You have them both. You've earned it. You remember this when we get that squirrel. I want that paid forward. There was just hardly any food in that thing. The seasoning was nice. Kyle was smart to bring that. But there was not much food in a crawdad.

I figured you would at least go back and try again on a subsequent day. You can try making it differently or something. You seemed really hungry and irritable. In hindsight, I wish I had spent more time hunting. I don't know it just would have been i haven't really done many any hunting and it's not that much effort like if me hunting i would have just gone deep enough that i wasn't anywhere near the campsite or from or with an earshot of it and done a lot of waiting like go to a comfortable spot and wait for like 90 minutes and see if i could get anything because that almost worked with uh the fish but you know i just wasn't paying attention to the

sky as much as i would have been had i been focused on squirrel but i never i didn't really do that did you guys get a nibble of any fish the entire time no nor the water was clear so you could really see i i i never saw a fish or any hint that there might have been a fish and it was really only deep enough to house like fish of eating size right where we were in there i swear to god like that day that i was back there and i sent those pictures and everything i saw a catfish that was like long it was like this i was talking about several days before the trip yeah it like i was like standing on that bank and it swam toward me and under the bank i was standing on and i was just like holy shit like this is the spot clearly like this is a pond with fish in it out in the wilderness

like but no not even close and we were like trying to sling our hooks into like the crevice that i thought he was in and like it just i spent a lot of time with bait right where kyle said the fish was and there was never any evidence that a fish had been there no what about insects did you guys eat any insects like oh thousands oh constantly the whole time i was eating insects no fuck no no well you can deep fry those too they're like it's pretty nice. It's like a nice snack. It's just you go poof and be gone. There's no deep frying it. Or you batter up a scorpion or something. I don't know.

Some caterpillars. Hypothetically, you're in the woods and you have muffins. How many insects do you eat? True. You could have tried deep frying like a, for the video, right?

It wouldn't even be mushy or anything after you use your shotgun to take it out. You know, that'd be great. I, I did. I saw one snake. I saw,

um, a woodpecker. Um, I saw one unidentified squirrelish thing. I saw two crawdads. I caught both of them. Or crawfish, I call them. And that's it.

Did you like the picture of the meal that I texted you guys? No, we didn't. Have you watched the video of me catching the second crawfish? No? I haven't seen it, no. There was like 40 minutes of footage of me in this epic battle trying to bring a fall crawfish i don't know how he edited it down but it was you're grabbing them and they were flipping at you that was the that was my favorite part this is when he

was still you know like in the in the basically i had a rod and i would bring him over. I get them like two inches closer to shore and then he let go. And I'm like casting it again. I got really good at aiming the casting. It wasn't that far from me. And I just like drag the bait right by him and he'd grab it and I'd get him like six inches over and he'd run four back. And just, it took a long time for me to get him onto shore where I could catch him

like a long time. I'm up for watching shitty. I'm up for watching some if you want to. I haven't seen any of the video yet. I have a whole new topic. I don't know if you want to get off survival talk or not. Alright, this is a video that I think we'll all enjoy. Cue up at zero.

This may be inappropriate. Blah, blah, blah. I've watched it. I've seen this one. Oh have you? yeah probably a lot of people have it this guy is a bit of a stuntman are you guys all queued up at zero? yep ready? had to sign in. Ready? inappropriate. Ready, set, play.

Ready, set, play. Nah. Hey, guys. I'm Jefferbill. First, we gave you cactus hand grab. Now, I present to you cactus body slam. No. He really does it.

I believe it. Oh, shit. No, it doesn't. Yeah. Dude. The worst is getting out. Getting in is easy, but getting out. Zach, help me now. Oh shit, no it doesn't! Yeah! Dude! The worst is getting out, like getting in is easy but getting out... Zach, help me now! Help me now! Help!

Look how bad that is! Oh no! Fuck! Fucking asshole. Fuck! Fuck! This guy just left like a luchador onto a giant cactus. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU His friends are all double teaming him right now, yanking him out, and he is bleeding from a dozen fricks. Oh, look how deep that was! That was in a half an inch at least.

The hand thing. He has boxing gloves on and they weren't able to protect him, these things go so deep. Wow! Oh, not the elbow! It's in deep. Out of his vein. Oh, it's in deep! Out of his vein. Oh, it's in the vein! I said I'd do it, so I did it. There you go.

It fucking hurts, man. Well, at least I got my six-pack of natty ice! Was that guy British? Could you guys tell the accent? Oh, that's awful. Oh, that's great. What a dude. He had that american body but was he british i don't know but it was pretty badass like i saw that and it was like you know

that guy he didn't half-ass that in the slightest no no you can't half-ass that he would have whipped his he had to jump far enough that his head overhung the other side of the cactus otherwise it just would have been a face plant yeah a bunch of facial contusions oh man so does he does a lot of that I don't know that's the only video of his that I've seen apparently he did a hand grab once before pool ball nut shot you're looking at his library of jackass stunts do it yourself lip piercing that's great

well I gotta go back and check now Jordy check this karate chop he has some great content on his channel he's got a lot of subs half a million almost that was an 8 million view video's got a lot of subs. Half a million almost. That was an 8 million view video. That's a big video.

That's a quarter of his views. Is it? So you know what? Maybe it... 8 million views is probably worth... Is it 16 grand? 20 grand? 16 grand is a good call. Of that video?

Probably 10. It's a good call of that video yeah uh probably 10 it's a short video oh good call good call they don't monetize as well when they're a minute and a half long oh oh never mind it's age restricted you didn't get anything ah anything do you think he's at zero well maybe maybe you got age restricted because it got like a million views in the first period of time. I mean, are there literally no ads on age restricted videos? No, you don't get paid anything. It's a new rules thing they have. That's been old. When I shot Chiz with the pepper spray and the taser and all, they age gated that immediately. And so I took it down.

I was like, nah, I'm getting paid, bitch. And I uploaded it again, but I put a warning at the beginning. Like, don't worry. We had a lamul lunch or something like there, and then they did it again And I was like well This is just a wash so I called Called the network kitty was out in LA with them And I'm like kitty like like fucking nudge Aaron get him to fucking hit up YouTube fix this shit like look I'm not making any money here, and and she's like wait. What's the title of the video?

So we know which one and I'm like you know it's the latest one. Yeah, what's the title and it's like, well, what's the title of the video so we know which one? And I'm like, you know, it's the latest one. Yeah, yeah, what's the title? And I'm just like, um, Tased, Pepper Sprayed and Shot with Rubber Buckshot and she's like, what? What kind of video? And I was like, ah, shit. So no, they never got it undone, never made a dime

off of it. That sucks. Most recent videos, he's not quite as fat, which means that he was berated enough on his channel to lose weight. Wait, what is this? Oh, that's absolutely true. Who are we talking about? The cactus man.

Children of Poseidon. He's eating a cactus too in a video. That reminds me. Have you guys seen that fat people hate video it's super viral right now it sounds like quibble top is the cool is it is it the one with the uh the pretty blonde yeah that's not fat people hate it is what's it about well other than the obvious like um can you describe it better than me jordy um i don't know like i just saw some videos on it like okay it's like 10 minutes long and it's basically saying that people who are in favor of body acceptance and happiness and whatever like

no just own that it's your fault and fix your fucking problem and you know she i think she tells a story of her being on a plane where she just didn't accept people being fat and decided to push the fat from that person back. We'd watch it together, but it's like 10 minutes long. I watched the whole thing. Oh, you know the one? Oh, yeah. Like a pretty blonde did it?

Yeah. She kind of reminded me of, oh, what's her name? That's a terrible. You know, she reminded me of what's her name? Oh, right. That other blonde girl makes YouTube videos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's her name? That's a terrible... You know, she reminded me of What's Her Name? That other blonde girl who makes YouTube videos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The other blonde that makes YouTube videos. You're either talking about

Jenna Marbles or I Just Eat. Yeah, she reminded me a bit of Jenna Marbles. She's smart. She seems smart. She seemed funny. She seemed aware of the fact that it was silly that a blonde girl was having to point these facts out to people. She made a little joke about that. I felt like I liked her editing. I her look i thought she's a did a really great job i really enjoyed the video she kept me entertained for the whole time which is hard to do and she kept the

quips coming she kept the jokes coming and she kept being unrelentingly honest about the fact that you know you know like you don't get any your fat you just you just eat too much like it's not a disability you're not you're you weren't born gay you weren't born a black you're not being oppressed you're not being picked on because of something that that is a there's okay to do like you're picked on cuz you yeah you're doing something stupid and we're laughing at you for it like that's what you get they've walked around like rub shit on your face and that was just your thing you don't get exception hashtag yeah hashtag shit acceptance like no there is no shit acceptance you walk around

stinking like that like nobody wants to be part of you we're gonna call you out shit face respect my right to go in restaurants where other people have to eat hashtag meth acceptance you can't you can't tell me what to do man yeah i see the same way you know you're just you're killing yourself so i can make fun of your diabetes if i want to i i saw this only one type i saw this response video where this chubby blonde uh spent 10 minutes nearly in tears talking about how that video ruined her day. That she was having a great day. She just did some interview about body acceptance and loving who you are. And then she saw that video and it ruined her. And I wasn't able to watch all 10 minutes of it. About six or seven minutes.

I made it pretty deep in. I'm like, oh, my God. She is still fucking working. Wait. So she was interviewed about body acceptance. So she's that into that culture. And then one video ruined her. That's like if Richard Dawkins watched, like like a Rich Perry or whatever Perry commercial.

It's like, I believe in creationism and I think we need to teach about the Bible. And Richard Dawkins just broke down weeping, like ruined my day, all of my work for nothing. They know it's false. Like you would only get that reaction if someone knew at their core that what they were saying was kind of disingenuous. Yeah, Blondie's making good points. What's her name? Let's give her the. I don't know.

You'll have to look it up but there's a there's a second story but we'll talk about this first i wonder if like if we'll get to a stage where this happens with like religion i was going to say christianity but any of them will do we're like you know you know i was having a really good day i went to church and and I thought I saw Jesus because there were like sun rays coming through leaves and you could see like, you know, the individual rays. So that was God. And then I watched a YouTube video

that poked a hole and said that it was actually just sun. And on the way home, I saw a magnet on the back of someone's car with science written in it. Science in our fish like yeah that's silly i saw a name why was this a big deal like who freaked out her name is nicole acceptance tumblerina motherfuckers yeah all the fatties did

yeah i don't spend enough time on tumblr to like really get the culture and stuff um but like apparently this is a huge body acceptance moment movement and this woman just like shat all over it you know what that movement should be for it should be people with like lazy eyes or amputees gorbachev likes purple skin yeah no no they don't get they don't get into our circle. No, you leave them out where they belong. Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves. We don't accept everyone. We got to have standards here.

There's some people who just can't control it. Like you mentioned, you know, people with like cleft palates who live in third world countries, people who are Irish. Like it's not their fault. There's Joaquin Phoenix looking motherfuckers out of here as far as I'm concerned. The Irish. You know, we're bringing in 10,000 Syrian refugees into the US? That's what Obama was saying. How do they, where are they going to put them? Are they just going to disperse

them or are they going to create like a Syrian refugee island somewhere? An island? That's creative. That sounds nice. The one that nobody goes to like with no hotels. That should be Hawaii's punishment. Wahoo, whatever. That Syrian thing is a big deal so i'm gonna attempt to explain the syrian thing for guys that aren't following it at

all um apparently there have been syrian refugees for years now and it's like a really big deal um and they've been like smuggling themselves into other countries and stuff and mostly europe and uh recently someone who was trying was he trying to get to europe i forget where but a little boy washed up on the shore and i think that he was trying to get to spain okay it's a or one of those thank you and uh and a little boy washed up but he was like five and he was like a cute little boy but he was dead and i'm not a swimmer that's a long swim not sure how you can only do it a pool and back kyle yeah kyle you know you're in no position to throw swimming stones hey i bring my life jacket with me i know my limitations there could be turtles kyle

something about this. Turtles. Don't get sick. When you hear like, you know, 10,000 people died or something over the course of some years, it's like a statistic, right? It's like, well, those aren't even real Americans. But when you see one dead boy on the beach, then suddenly it's like, oh, my God, like this is such a tragedy. You didn't see that truckload full of them? They were being smuggled in a truck. And when they opened the doors, the bodies are all piled up.

And they were dead, right? Yeah, they're dead. Only smuggling dead people. Someone said a 10,000 dead people is a statistic. One dead person is a tragedy. And that kind of like, it made this big movement when people saw the little dead boy. And now there's like this greater awareness of it and these are syrian refugees like they're they're not immigrants like they're refugees in that if they stay where they are they will kill them right these are people that need to escape

some sort of tragedy so there's millions of them there's there's millions of these people fleeing and they're being they're going to all the different european countries some of them. There's millions of these people fleeing and they're going to all the different European countries. Some of them are... but it's causing a huge problem because you've got some people like Pakistanis who are saying, oh I'm a Syrian refugee, let me into your cool country that I've always wanted to go into. And then you've got ISIS coming out right and saying, we're going to take advantage of this situation to put our militants among these Syrian refugees and have them be accepted all over the world. We're going to use this to export terror all over the world. ISIS has said they already have thousands of people

that took advantage of that. Sure. So a lot of the countries are being like, we'll take two. And then some countries are being like, the UK, I know, like england is being is being pretty uh stingy with this and i'm not blaming any countries for not wanting to take them i don't know what i would do if i'm the leader of uh one of these european countries but

i know that england is being pretty stingy with the whole thing when you've got places like germany where it seems like half the population isn't so happy with it but i keep seeing these touching moments where the refugees are in Hungary or Germany or Austria or wherever, and the Austrians are like, oh, yeah, like clapping for them as they come off the bus. And then I read today that Obama was talking about accepting 10,000 to the U.S., and I'm just wondering, like, I'm sure they go through a screening process,

so it's not even in my head. Like, oh, I bet they're letting terrorists in. The 10,000 that they let come to the u.s i better gonna be squeaky clean and just need a place to go because we you know we u.s though like those yeah however many like hundreds of thousands who are getting into germany they are millions millions millions after all they're not walking up like all right and here are my papers here's my passport here's this uh run a background check on me and make sure that i'm all good and then i'm gonna go do exactly what you're telling me to do like a lot of these people are just gonna be like you've got to just take my word on it

And one of the big issues is is it strain on their welfare system, right? So like in Some of the northern countries I call them Baltic before which I think was a Nordic mess up Nordic Thank you It's some of the Nordic states like they have like a minimum income I'm not an expert on this, but they literally will just give you enough money to survive if you're in there. And these refugees just sort of go in...

Some people feel like they're skipping over the Spains and Italys of the world, going straight to Netherlands or something to get a more hooked up standard of living. Is that how it is, Jordy? You guys got a living wage? Can I just come here and not shit? Yeah, we do. Now, can I use that money for prostitutes?

Is that okay, too? Yes, and if you're disabled, you get prostitute coupons. Is there anything I can't use? Is there anything that I can't legally use that government money for? That's my question. Well, some drugs are not allowed here. Which drugs are not allowed? Tell me. Well, some drugs are not allowed here. Which drugs are not allowed? Like, tell me. Well, ecstasy is not allowed. Just, like, literally, if I go out right now, within five minutes, I can get cocaine, ecstasy, LSD, and shrooms.

PKA drug deal. I can get the stream on my phone. I'll walk out. I'll go up to the first drug dealer He'll come up to me. He'll be like what about coke weed you know so I always I always I'm like why would you sell weed like I can just go here and just buy some weed But my reply is always like it like you got a coke on you like what else you got like I don't know I got like do you want to buy coke fun Like, what else you got? Like, I don't want to do this. Yeah, I go like, do you want to buy Coke, Fanta, 7-Up, you know? All right. No, you can't buy guns.

Well, that's. No, no. Like, guns are a big no-go. Like, my neighbor used to have a gun, and he was, like, really drunk, and they wouldn't serve him any more beers. So he went back home, got his gun, walked up to the the bar put his gun on down and he's like i'm having another beer and then they were like okay let's just call the cops and they um they raided his house which was right next to my house so it's like three in the morning i could hear like get on the ground get on the ground you know in dutch and i was like what the fuck is going on

i was just fell back asleep turns out um they raided his house to find the gun, and he was hiding it somewhere, and his whole house was fucked up. And it was just like a pistol. Is it illegal? No, no. You're not allowed to have any guns, unless you have a gun, like a license for it, which you can only have

if you go to the shooting range, but you're not allowed to have magazines at home, I think. Something like that. But it's basically, like, if you have a gun, you're like, oh, you're a criminal now, here. So that's a pretty big difference. But drugs are fine. You're all, like, doing rails of coke, fucking fucking fucking

from hookers, like, and it's all legal, you know. Like, smoking joints, you know, on the streets. No, but, like, guns are a big no-go like when all my friends come to you sometimes when friends come to to Amsterdam and they want to test out the weed they they come by a joint and like every time we walk out like because we have like loads of police officers patrolling the areas

and stuff oh he's got a lot the cops are here put out the joint and they just throw the joint on the ground put it out I'm like don't worry I'm just joking like it's totally fine Like police over here is really really relaxed too like I've never had any problems with them But that's what we would do with you with guns here like a cop put your gun away Yeah, like he probably wants to see it As soon as as soon as I pick Patrick up from the airport He's like I've never even really seen a real gun. And I was like, well, now you have now. He's like, this is heavy.

Look at this. Exactly. Yeah, that was fun. I enjoyed having Patrick. I know he got some hate from some people because it took him a little while to get the videos rendered and edited and uploaded and all that. I wish that had gone down faster, but as far

as my experiences with Patrick on that trip that trip a1 like like um he never bitched and complained uh he he had real food out there and what'd you say what was he eating spaghettios just yeah he was eating spaghettios and he would um he would be careful like like he didn't even want to eat the SpaghettiOs in front of us because they thought they were too tasty, and whenever we were picking foods out at Walmart, he didn't want to get anything that was going to smell really good and be annoying to us, and I was telling him,

I was like, you should get that fettuccine Alfredo over there in that packet. You just add boiling water, and it's going to be really tasty, and he was like, no, I'll just get this awful spaghetti and meatballs and ramen noodles, and yeah, he was really cool

about that he also didn't eat that much he felt bad about eating in front of us and of course he had some meals but you know it wasn't like he had three squares what a nice guy i would have done the exact opposite i would have got delicious smelling food and then got like a pumpkin pie candle just to have on you guys don't mind do you like yeah yeah he was really good guy there was a reddit thread that was like woody was totally harsh on that guy and a lot of people were like wow that sounds terrible what a jerk but it was an unreleased pkn and like no one could actually see i wasn't a jerk at all like i was not nearly hard i listened i was like give me time stamps i don't know what you're talking about i listened to it and it was just me explaining like yeah yeah you know he was editing

in premiere pro he was trying to encode with a media encoder but it kept failing and it was a particularly slow kind of fail like it would render for four hours or something i made that number up and then it would stop at 99 for like four hours before he gave up on it and said well i guess this is never going to do that last percent and that kind of thing is super time consuming yeah so regardless of all that i thought he did a great job i enjoyed uh hanging out with him when we did uh he wasn't like annoying or didn't have a grading personality you know i was kind of i was kind of worried you know we're about to go spend a week with a stranger in the woods like are we gonna end up like kicking this guy's ass and like having a really uh frustrating time with him or something like what's gonna go

down but uh he fit in just fine um never had an issue with him uh never got mad at him at all that's good did you get mad at me hmm yes because it wasn't no yes with the when with the taco bell comments yeah that pissed me right off like yeah that's in the night that's in one of those confessionals i feel if that's up we should play that if my confessional um went when like i i was just fed up and that was that day four i think it's three i think it's three there isn't three the one we watched no we watched two watched two i think that i i would be totally down for watching night three confessionals because i think i let both of you have it i'm like i give both i'm just like this one shouldn't have done this and then i had things for both you and chis that you motherfucker you would go sneak out of camp every morning go

straight to your truck and not return the day katie got locked out of the house 45 minute drive each way right it says an hour and a half he's gone for two and a half or three hours oh that's except that's not true and he's like i had a pepsi but i swear i turned down this spiced ham sandwich she offered me i that's not even like like like that's why you didn't shit the whole time you took a nice comfortable porcelain poop no i didn't no i went back i got i drank a diet pepsi out of the refrigerator and i came back and i didn't have a choice she fucking locked herself out of the house like like kitty kitty leaves her keys. There's there's a deadbolt There's a bottom one. She used the wrong key. There's nothing I could fucking do he had to help her I believe you I'm just giving you shit like yeah, it's no big deal

Yeah, if you had a Taco Bell that would have been the smart move I there's there's really not even any restaurants on the way between my house in the place I way that I was that's what I was telling Chiz I there's there's really not even any restaurants on the way between my house and the place I that I was that's what I was telling Chiz I was like I probably would have stopped if there was something on the way hungry that's that whole thing was awful yeah that pissed me off and uh I think I was mad about I don't know what my problem with Chiz was it was probably something about him doing nothing or I think I mentioned we should watch it can we watch it okay that's what it was you were very adamant about you being out all goddamn day and

coming back and Chiz having done nothing and everything looks the same not clean up. Yeah yeah I just felt like I would leave all day and granted I guess the people who are staying behind might be like wonder what he's doing all day but I was fucking hunting like I was just I'm just out in the woods and like the place is 17 000 acres i don't know if you can picture that but it's so big that that i could drive for four miles and and still have plenty of room to go and then get out and hunt and there's like tons of spots along the way so i would drive a little bit get out hunt for half an hour and i would repeat that process and sometimes i'd stay for an hour sometimes i, hunt for half an hour, and I would repeat that process. And sometimes I'd stay for an hour, sometimes I'd stay for half an hour.

Sometimes I'd just park the truck on the side of the road and walk out 20 yards into the woods. So do you want to watch just your confessional, or do you want to watch the confessionals from day three? Yours is second. I would like to watch all of them, but it's your call. There should be a tease. Like, a tease to watch the rest of them on their own.

I know Kyle's is not... Would you just cut it out all right yeah all right we'll watch just kyle's now you know what let's watch kyle's and then go on to mine because i bet you'll find that i'm like i don't know i don't want to talk too soon but i bet i'm like a totally cool guy in spite of the fact that kyle goes and like whatever drives around his truck hunting you sat in your truck for five hours charging batteries with the cut with the engine running eating cookies i drove to a hunting spot for the hunting spot most of those cookies were gone how that happened kyle how many total cookies did you

guys eat like realistically how many cookies and how many muffins there was a box of 18 cookies when i got to it there were like seven, and I split them with the cameraman. No, that's not accurate. Do the math. I think I ate seven cookies total, and it was over a two-day period. I love that we're arguing now. And I ate two muffins. Let's watch Kyle.

I have a cue. I have a— I'm 41-26. Yep. You guys all ready? Yeah, I have an ad. Sweet. Supporting you. Get that money. Get that office send.26. Yep. You guys all ready? Yeah, I have an ad. Sweet. Supporting you.

Get that money. Get that office send. Yeah. Okay, I'm ready. All right. Ready, set, play. So what's today? Day three?

Oh. Day three. Day three was the worst day. I think tomorrow will be even worse, though. It's been awful. I got up again this morning like super early. Well, I got up this morning at 9 And went hunting again, and I don't know how far I walked. I got in the truck and I drove around again and just hit up like Six or seven different locations, I guess. I stopped at five and got out and walked.

And then there were multiple times where I'd pull over and kind of sit there and look around and see if I saw anything. I just didn't see anything. So that's super frustrating. The bugs seem awful tonight. No food. No food from out here yet. That's been awful. I think we really would fucking die if of course we're limited to what we can shoot. I feel like we could shoot deer. Like we'd overlook some of those fields

and probably shoot a deer. In any case, it's been rough. Cheers didn't do anything today. I think he literally did nothing. I went hunting. Woody went to the car and charged batteries, got back and I don't think Chiz did anything today.

I think Woody charged batteries today and took care of the water and the fire and all that, but as far as complaints, oh, they keep saying that I'm disappearing and going home or something. That pisses me off because I feel like I'm disappearing and like going home or something that pisses me off Because I'm I feel like I'm working harder than anybody to actually try to get some food And I'm like busting my ass out there walking around sweating and when I get and they're like texting me like I'm like I'm at The fourth spot today, you know, like I'm I'm texting back to let everybody know that I'm having trouble hunting and what he's like Forth fourth trip to Taco Bell. So that pisses me off because I feel like they're making fun of me. That or they just think I'm actually leaving, which pisses me off as well. So I think tomorrow I'm going to get Patrick to come with me when I actually

go hunting. So that'll be good. I'd like to see what everybody else is doing while I'm out hunting because I get back and there's no firewood. There's no, like, all the water bottles certainly aren't full. You know, nothing has changed. So, like, I feel like I'm leaving every morning and, like, busting my ass for three hours to no avail, I'll admit. And I get back and they've been sleeping all day or charging. I mean, today there was charging batteries, which, I don't know, you get to sit in a truck with air conditioning the whole time and charge batteries.

I didn't see any hearts. So, yeah, that's where I am. I feel like I'm busting my ass and trying real hard, and meanwhile nobody seems to appreciate it. And, of course, you know, not coming back with any food, so there you go. That's day three. Day four is tomorrow. We'll film back with any food, so there you go. So that's day three. Day four is tomorrow. We'll film some of the hunting, which is incredibly boring.

It's going to be me sitting on a rock and looking angry, kind of like right now. So that's tomorrow. And then the next day, I get to go fucking home. I get to go home. I get to talk to my girlfriend. I get to take a shower. I get to eat some good food, and that'll be nice. So I'm really looking forward to the end of this thing. I think this is my girlfriend. I get to take a shower. I get to eat some good food. And that'll be nice.

So I'm really looking forward to the end of this thing. I think this is my last survival trip. We'll find something more fun for me to do next time. And something at least as fun for you guys to watch next time. But, yeah. I'll stay here. All right. So this is our third night here. We just have thursday and friday in front of us

don't remember what i say in the last two i'm going third so i'm sitting here wondering what they said in their confessionals i feel like i talk about cheese in every one of these um he said something to me this morning that stuck in my head. He was talking about the chicken and what a good friend the chicken was. And he said that Henrietta, one of the chicken's names,

accepts him for who he is. And the implication there was that I don't and I keep trying to take his cigarettes away or fuss at him or something and those cats been buzzing around for me like should I accept him for who he is or or try to make him better and you know trying to make someone better when it's not their own personal goal is a fruitless effort he is also staying in my house and there's no smoking there,

so that's a thing. I thought that he would stop already. I thought that his last cigarette was on the bus. I didn't realize he planned on picking it up again on the trip. For months now, actually, he's been about to stop and he can stop anytime and he hasn't, so that's a thing. But enough about Chiz. We went back to the truck today, which was my first time since we left it on Monday, to charge the batteries for the camera we're using right now and phones and stuff like that. And that was really nice. I hung out with Patrick for a while.

The cameraman got to know him better. I haven't eaten much uh you guys know that that guy delivered some like basically junk food like cookies and muffins and stuff so i have had a little of that but i i'm getting i've got plenty of water that much is easy there's a a creek here but um and i have a water filter which is breaking i'll circle back to that but any second now it's getting to be that i don't feel like a stand up like i get a little animal i'm not sure it passes quickly and then i'm i'm kind of fine as a matter of fact sometimes like after i'm up for a bit i'm actually in good spirits and i'm not as hungry as you might think like I Swear, I've got poison ivy and bug bites. I

I've been at home and when the gap between lunch and dinner is too long I've felt more desire for food than I feel right now, which I didn't anticipate that so Now I am having issues like I'm a little smaller I can feel like the way that this shirt feels is a thing I am but the biggest thing is I'm kind of getting dizzy when I first stand up but we haven't found any food Kyle goes out hunting every day I think and he hasn't even seen anything to shoot. I caught those crawfish. Something just buzzed.

But that really wasn't food. I thought it was, but shucks. I think if I was to eat crawfish as a meal, I'd have like literally 30 of them or something. I mean, there's hardly any food in a crawfish. Oh, God. something I mean there's very hardly any food in a crawfish um oh god the freaking rainfly if you didn't see my last confessional I vowed to not mention it today and I actually did I think I did talk about it with Pat privately in the truck about you like why am I making why am I hanging on to this but um after we got back I was all sweaty and stuff from the hike to the campsite and I went to the

creek to take a bath and they had taken the rain fly laid it on the ground put a bunch of cigarette butts on it some other random trash they took like baby wipes and rubbed it in the mud to look like they had wiped their butts with it and put all that stuff on the rain fly and i bought it hook line and sinker i literally was like you know like i can kick your ass i can and will kick your ass or there's something close to that Chiz was looking down and I was like look me in the eyes I will fuck you up

or something similar to that I don't remember the specifics and uh they start laughing it was Chiz's rain flight and they had set it up as a prank and uh I guess it's kind of fun i'm still thinking like all right pretend it

wasn't a frank woody was that the appropriate response probably not but um they got me pretty good oh man i love that so much chicken so i'm not feeling any love for the chicken i'm not eating much uh i'm not cheating and i'm hungry and i'm getting dizzy and while the chicken is fine that chicken is food i'd planned on killing it yesterday i'd plan on killing it today and now they seem to seriously be talking about saving the chicken they love that she eats bugs around the campsite and stuff i love that i eat chickens i eat so many chickens in my day good lord uh i'll kill that chicken it's it's food and i'm hungry i'll kill that chicken and um i get that it's cute that we have a chicken mascot and everything.

And I'm sure these are the happiest days of her life. She came from a farm crowded in with tons of chickens. Now she's literally just pecking around the campsite finding insects. But I need to eat. And I got to kill the chicken and get some food. I'm pretty sure we're going to make it until Friday, which is nice. But we're not surviving, really. We're just sort of dying slowly.

There's no food coming in. I lay around. I try not to burn too much energy. I get in lightheaded. There's plenty of water, though. There's nothing that implies that we could do this indefinitely you would just find some bones three weeks later and that would be that so overall like I think it's a pretty neat thing to have done but I haven't proven to myself that I'm actually good at this or anything like that. I'm just, I guess just durable enough to stick it out, I think. It's only day three, but that's what I think.

So, that's my confessional. I want to thank Battlebox for sponsoring. Alright. Battlebox! I love it how he didn't even watch Ch chis's confession well kyle said that i would watch chis's confession is it was it good kyle said he wanted to tease it or something oh yeah true true so people should totally go to the video now and watch chis's confession right very pouty in every single one every single, it looks like you've just stolen something from him and broken it.

He just sits there and, well, no food again today. Got really wheezy. Had to walk to the bathroom. We had a rough time out there. I know that we had the hammocks or whatever from Battlebox. It wasn't a real struggle to start the fires because they sent so much fire-starting gear. So much fire-starting gear.

We had like 9, 12 different choices on how to start a fire every day. The thing I'm wearing, that stupid necklace, it's a fire starter. Yeah, yeah. Everything was. But it still wasn't fun. It was really awful there was just i think you know if you go a few days without bathing and and and eating any real food you'll you'll see what i mean maybe people do that for fun maybe some of you outdoors people really enjoy that

like yeah i went three days without eating and snuck like shit like but i hate that i really do i was really uncomfortable the whole time like Like, just didn't like it. And, you know, those creek baths were, you get about 75% of the shit off of you. And then you're really replacing it with, like, silt and a little bit of grit. And the humidity's so high, like, you just sweat right after anyway. There was maybe two nights I fell asleep and I didn't feel just so gross that, like, I would take my shirt off because, like, I couldn't stand for my skin to be touching my skin and I would take my shirt off and like put it in my like armpits like the shirt so that my arm wasn't touching my side because that connection is so gritty and awful that it just makes you feel gross. Like I didn't want my skin to be touching my skin because I was so goddamn nasty that's the worst feeling you always feel like someone just assaulted you a little bit in

one of my confessionals i might even have said this like i i'm kyle and cheese just aren't built for discomfort really like they don't like it i i there are a lot of people and i i think i might be one of them who just kind of like all right yeah compartmentalize that it's just it's not comfortable whatever like there's other things to concentrate on kyle and cheese are like whoa we I think I might be one of them who just kind of like, all right, yeah, compartmentalize that. It's just it's not comfortable, whatever. Like there's other things to concentrate on. Kyle and Chiz are like, whoa, we got to deal with this comfort situation. I am not happy. This is awful.

I can't find any joy in this situation as long as I'm not properly bathed. Yeah, that's a big deal for me. Covered with Axe body spray or whatever. I don't need the body spray. I can even I'm OK with BO even. But like it's the grit. It's the salty feeling and just the nastiness and the oiliness and your hair and your face and just everything. I'll start.

When I was a teenager, I'm sorry to cut you off. In the summertime, there would be days where I swam on the beach all day long and just you know in and out of the water diving in the in the in the waves and body surfing and stuff and then afterwards for whatever reason didn't just i don't know just live like this beach bum lifestyle the next day brush my teeth and it's like why would i shower i'm going to the beach right now and i would just do that and sometimes that would go three days like between showers but heavy ocean time right you know like four hours of ocean yeah I love that smell yeah oh I'd wear deodorant and stuff but uh I don't know what to tell you I thought it was cool to be a beach bum and uh so when I was camping and it was like a couple of days later, and funny, you described it as 75% clean.

Yeah. You ever have an odor or something that totally reminds you of a situation from back in the day or whatever? There was just a feel of cleaning in the creek that reminded me of my ocean baths as a teenager. I thought it was kind of cool I it was refreshing every time I got in the creek and like got that the water wasn't that cold but it was cold enough to like it would give me a shock like when I'm like splashing it on my it reminded me of like that movie it's got Chris Farley and and the and Chandler from friends whatever his name is and

they're like trying to beat Lewis and Clark across to the west. And it's Frontier's comedy. Frontier comedy kind of thing. And Matthew Perry has this black manservant. And meanwhile, he's taking a hot bubble bath in a tent on this awful journey. And the slave's like, oh, I see. Well, I just washed my genitals in the freezing cold river water,

so I wouldn't know and that's that's how it is like i felt like i'm just like every time i'd splash the water over my head and my ass and balls i was just like yeah we're at camp he's like whatever 100 yards away in the uh thing and he's like i grabbed my shotgun like i wasn't sure I'm coming they got him there was one scene in it where it was like I was just skipping around so I don't know if there was a like lead up to this but Woody

I think you mentioned or Kyle saying like yeah Chiz threw the rest of his pack of cigarettes into the fire last night so he's all out and I wanted to know what conflict and strife made him throw them out because there's no way that he just did it on his own the box was empty he smoked them all and there was no more

yes yeah his credit like like he was pointing out he was like it's an appetite suppressant he's like i smoked two of these and i'm not hungry anymore i'm gonna give me one of those motherfuckers i smoked two of them too like like the idea of that cigarette as an appetite suppressant was extremely appealing it was like so you're telling me a cigarette's almost as good as taking a bite of food yeah you give me those yeah kyle kyle's an ex-smoker mostly and uh and you know he had a couple cigarettes but it was Chiz who was surrounded by like 20 or 30 butts yeah I think I smoked two during the trip but he smoked all of his cigarettes he had a couple here a few packs honestly

appetite suppressants that would have been really desirable they should be in that situations like if someone had a bunch of adderall be like fuck it I happen to do but sit around and not burn energy give me one of those like not gonna be hungry forever. But, yeah, what a real shit situation. I've gone all day without eating on Adderall, but then that night you can have a really bad crash if you don't actually get some food. So I don't know.

Because you go crazy. You burn all your energy, and then it's like nothing's left in the tank. You'd be tidying up the edges of your campsite for no reason out there weird out there packing the packing the grass digging graves right yeah digging graves just in case someone dies you know there were uh i'm glad that thing's over i guess i'm glad we did it because i i haven't looked at you know i've just seen the videos that we've all watched together tonight um i'm gonna sit down and watch them all because I think they're going to be pretty funny. Especially the moments that I remember specifically

and then again, the moments that I don't have any recollection of. The ones I wasn't present for. So I'm looking forward to seeing them all, but I don't want to do that shit again, even a little bit. I think the next thing we should do should be fun. Go-kart racing with fans.

Yeah, do that. Have food. I want to be eating a slice of pizza while I do the adventure. I want to eat the banana and throw the peel. It lets you spin out. Or, if I'm able to go on one and we do a survival, I want

it to be somewhere that one person in the group is a complete expert. We'll do it right on the beach and then Woody will be so eager to show off his merman status out there. Surfing with a spear in his hand. Patrick, Patrick, over here. We got, like, six hours of you, Woody. I'm just going to film them for a bit. No, I got it, I got it.

And then it could just basically be a vacation where me, Kyle, and Chiz enjoy some, you know, beachside beers, and you bring us lobster, fish, what have you. That I would do on a beach. I like to go to the beach at night time when there's a big, big blanket to stand on so I don't get all sandy and there's food and alcohol and women.

That's what I like about the beach. None of that sun, sand, or salt though. All of that's bullshit. I really do feel that way 100%. I hate the ocean so much. We could catch all the crabs that run around. Can you even eat that way 100%. I hate the ocean so much. We could catch all the crabs that run around. Can you even eat those nasty little things? I'm sure you could.

They're easy to catch. You're like Khal Drogo. That's like poison water that my horses can't drink. I don't want any part of it. Khal Drogo. I love that you pronounce it that way too. I said Khal Drogo. Oh, did you?

I'm sorry. I thought you literally just called him Khal for my benefit. That was one of the funniest little slips of the tongue you've ever made, though. The idea of Khal Drogo. Oh, did you? I'm sorry. I thought you literally just called him Carl for my benefit. That was one of the funniest little slips of the tongue you've ever made, though, the idea of Carl Drogo. And then I saw someone on the subreddit made a Carl Drogo image. And then Carl Drogo was this fat slob with a mustache, but he's dressed as a Dothraki. You married Carl Drogo? No, no, I married Carl Drogo. He's an accounting you know carl drogo no no no carl drogo the plumber like yeah i love that that was good chief shit manager so jordy i'm looking at your channel here you are killing it on youtube i did i had a few very good months yes yeah yes you're averaging like a quarter million

views maybe that's low maybe you're averaging like 300,000 views a video I'd say 250 is the minimum but on average it's way above of course no like in the past few months especially because of the

summer holidays and stuff it went really really good and I think I found in the past few months especially because of the uh the summer holidays and stuff it went really really good and i think i found like what i wanted to do of course because that's really hard with youtube you're always like looking for like what do you want to do do you want to do this game do you want to do that game a lot of your videos are over 10 minutes which for people out of the know at 10 minutes you get better youtube ads i have a note here on my on my desk and it says i don't know you can't see it it says 10 minutes so every time i look at it i'm like oh fuck i gotta make a video it's 10 minutes long yeah that's when you get the the more lucrative ads yeah yeah true yep

um so um it it doesn't only because people are like, you make a 10-minute long video, you get more money, but it doesn't really work that way. With YouTube comes loads of theories, right? Like how do you do it the best and things like that. And one of my theories is if I get more money, it means YouTube gets more money, which means they'll probably promote the video more. And that's why really long videos like streams or most streams used to get promoted a lot because it would be

it would hold a lot of money for YouTube for YouTube too mainly because of the high percentage they get. You know I think the streams the thing about that with the promotion was the chat interaction so as you know ratings is an interaction

and a comment would be an interaction. And, um, like I remember I did, I assembled a PC on a stream. Now the video wasn't nine hours long because it went up and down. There were so many tech issues. I was getting DDoSed a lot, but, um, it was basically for nine hours, people giving me advice and tips on how to put this damn thing together I don't know how many comments there might have been over a hundred thousand comments on that stream and it was like the number one thing on mobile it was promoted on the YouTube page yeah because it had so many so much

interaction I think they've taken that away yeah because because right now interaction doesn't do anything like no likes comments um so like people that subscribe it does interact i think um they now rank it on how many new people interact with you so so let's say you make a mistake in the video and a lot of new people go like oh you said uh you said something wrong over there then uh the video can get boosted really high up in the do you do that purposely uh well like it's uh sometimes people make mistakes that wasn't the question video i'm like editing the video i'm like at this one video uh let me see how many views it has 630 000 views

and i said lamborghini galardo instead of Lamborghini Aventador. And I was like, the video is uploaded. It's going up in three days. I could easily cut it out and change it, right? I was like, I'll just leave it and see how many people are actually going to post a comment. And the video did great. I'm not complaining. But I have purposely made mistakes in the past, yes. Just to disturb some conversation.

I'm like, like well maybe if i throw in this word or that you know people are gonna go a lot of youtubers aren't as upfront about this i remember i won't name them but like i'm really open like you can ask me anything i was hanging out with a youtuber at a um i think it was a titanfall event or it might have been the last cod or something like that last kind of it and anyway he was talking to me about search engine optimization and descriptions and stuff and he's like if your title is not 255 characters long you're not trying he would just put like keywords in the titles and just keep going I don't know

that he actually hit that YouTube keeps changing their algorithms and at one point it worked and then it didn't work and then all of a sudden it's in terms of servers you're not allowed to do it so i'm like okay like i don't mind uh optimizing my channel as long as i stay in the rules um i my channel got terminated once which was a mistake uh at 800 000 subs oh my i was like freaking out right it was a really scary day did you get it back yeah i got it back to rebuild like i went to bed and i woke up and they gave it back to me but all the videos were gone from the search you need to build up the whole channel basically again but you still have the videos um but people were like yeah it's because of description tags and you use the tag spam um but i was like like i let my channel check with the YouTube guys I have a lot of friends that work at Google or YouTube

and I'm like if there's anything wrong about my channel please tell me I don't want to break any rules Did you find out what was the cause? It was a YouTube bug it was just a bug, the shittiest bug in the world I got one video terminated, zero strikes on my channel.

But one video strike down, taken down for everybody who doesn't know what that is. It basically means you broke a rule, a YouTube guideline rule, and they take your video offline and you get a strike and at three strikes your channel should be terminated. But I got one strike and my whole channel was gone, which was really messed up i woke up at like two in the morning my mom woke me up she's like yeah your friend texted me your

channel's gone i was like oh fuck off like it was just let me go again and then i went and checked out and it was like fucked up right like a shaking and stuff and and i told myself like stay calm you know no need to freak out. But, yeah, I got it back the next day. So that was great. Yeah, I remember. So back in the day, like, when I was doing COD hard, everyone used to reupload the trailers. Like, you know, COD would release the trailer and, you know, like, everyone would sort of reupload that. And it was like a competition

to be the one that went viral, right? Oftentimes- The first one to do, right? Or don't. What's that? Be the first to upload it. Well, being first helped a lot. But for some reason, T-Mart always won.

T-Mart would always do a thing. And I remember I was talking to Whiteboy about it. And he's like, I don't know what he's doing. He's like, I load up my description with tags. I load up my tags with tags. I have the title, you know, right. I, I, I get more likes than him. And he was still the one that, that went viral. Um, he just, he was doing something better than everybody else was. And, um, after a while, like putting tags in the description became like standard practice in the community. And, um, I forget who it was. So someone got in a lot of trouble for it. Like it might've putting tags in the description became like standard practice in the community and um i forget

who it was so someone got in a lot of trouble for it like it might have been around the time is it mr no kyle who was the guy that lost his channel he had millions of subs it was a big deal i think he used to call prostitutes difficult i think that's who i'm thinking of yeah yeah i don't know if it was for tags though but he got his channel terminated. He was one of the first big guys. Yeah. I don't know if it was for tags either, but people theorized it was. And I spent all night.

Like, I heard about it at, like, 1 a.m. So I worked on it from, like, 1 a.m. to 7 a.m., just removing all the tags from my entire history. Because there's a lot of people who hate me, too. So, like, oh, same for you? Well, lucky you. Yeah, it's like the bigger bigger you get the more haters you get there you go stay the same but yeah yeah like you're bigger than i ever was but i think i was i was pretty significant in my day like back when i had a million subs a million subs was a bigger

deal than it is today you have two million subs so congratulations but um there's a lot of people who would i was like man someone's gonna watch hate me to death, and find a reason to create this problem. So I just stayed up all night removing every tag from every description. It was kind of weird because, like I said, it was standard practice at the time. And then it became against terms of service. And now I had this library out there of junk. Yeah, you can mass edit all the descriptions. I learned that.

It was like 1,100 videos00 videos click and we're done i i knew about that but um i don't know like some of the descriptions were particular for the video and like i didn't want to of course like i had to go back and change all of them which was stupid but then like there was also stuff uh people with tags they're like well you didn't put a gun in your video. So this video isn't about guns. So I'm flagging your video for misleading tags. So I changed all my tags too. And then they were like, well, you have GTA in the title twice, which is against terms of service.

It's spam too. So I changed that too. And I'm like, okay. It sucks that you have to be as defensive as that. So what are you doing with your YouTube money? Are you living at home? I can't tell. No, no, no.

I have a really big house in Amsterdam. That's nothing compared to your houses over there. But I live together with another YouTuber. I'm the biggest YouTuber in the country. Second biggest YouTuber in the country is like below me. But we have a five-story house. Wow. It's pretty small like I can show you.

So this is the width of the house. There you go. And it's vertically oriented. So you own a tube. Basically, yes. So right next to me, there's stairs. They're like stairs going up and down like that. And there's a really big green wall. And then on the other side, there's another room.

So over here, it's a bathroom. Below me is the floor for the other YouTuber who has his office over there in his bed. And then upstairs is a balcony where we do the laundry. Then below the floor of the YouTuber is my bedroom and living room. And below that is the kitchen. So I live on my own. It's my place and the other guy rents two rooms there. But I still ride my bike, so I don't have a car.

For everybody who doesn't know that, in Amsterdam it's really normal to ride a bike to the grocery store, to town. I live in town. It's five minutes away to go to the weed stores or prostitutes or whatever. Or museums. Oh, you throw that in. The regular three. I got a feeling your frequent museum goer card isn't punched in your mind. I actually have a discount code, so if you ever go to a prostitute in Amsterdam,

make sure to use the discount code COPS. Okay, we'll use your code. Yeah, Joe's Whores and More. You're one of Jordy's people, and they also give you the special treatment. Oh, a cop sent me. Yeah, yeah. And they're like, oh my god, yeah yeah you're accepted alright you get your job you job application but what I do with my YouTube money is like at the moment I'm saving up I have a really really like

just look dude it do the math you know you can calculate how much money I could have made it you're doing fantastic um but like I don't have a car and my monthly expenses are really low i have a really good accountant so he does loads of money not laundering but he it's basically i give him money laundering your money you're doing it wrong talk to woody he can help you long i have a lab in the basement you know so uh no but but he um he does a really good really good job with the money and he also coaches me as my financial advisor plus I think I watched your video on the investment in the S&P 500. So I was like, back when you made that, I was like, okay, I have enough money now, I

should probably get some stocks going. So I started investing in some stock things, buying some stocks or funds or one of the things. And then it went really good, it was a great learning experience. And then my mom all of a sudden goes, yeah, did you hear about this stuff in Greece? I was like, what stuff in Greece? She's like, yeah, stock markets are collapsing. And I was like, no, you're crazy, lady. And I was like, I don't know if I should get rid of like pull out all my money so i had a decent amount of money in there and i was like fuck it i'll just

withdraw everything and then the day after it dropped with like 12 or something oh you got out in advance yes so like the literally uh the day before so i was pretty proud of that um but i'm planning like the plan right now, I told myself I can buy a nice car whenever I have three houses, because I want to go into real estate. I do have a few side projects though going with the money. But I'm planning to buy a few houses that are being built or apartments that are being built fairly close to me because the Amsterdam market is like the house market is always growing. And if I can buy something very cheap,

I'll probably buy like three houses, four houses, depending on how much money I'll have then plus the mortgage I could get because I'd get a mortgage with myself. And then on top of that, I would also get a mortgage on top of that. So I'd get two of them, which is like, saves a lot of money. But I'd buy like three or four houses, maybe keep one for myself, maybe keep two for myself, and then rent out the rest. So I have a stable income for basically the rest of my life. And then... That's awesome.

Yeah, nice car. So I mean, I have no idea how the specifics of your investments will work out, but I can get the vibe that you're thinking ahead, and that's all I ever want. Like, there are a lot of YouTubers who – I know, a ton. They kill it. They just go like that.

They experience wealth, but they don't end their trip wealthy, right? Like, XJaws is a really neat example. He says he made $800,000 while he was on YouTube. That's a lot of money, right? But he doesn't have any of it now. That amazing car, remember when he said he bought that car? Does anyone know what he drove? It was a Mercedes.

Oh, there's YouTube money left? Oh, he's completely broke. Yeah, that was leased. He leased that for a couple years and it's gone now um i don't know i feel like i'm talking trash on him but i'm really trying to give out a cautionary tale um he he just completely had no money uh you know he discovered drugs and women that's not that's a rough combo and and it's over and like you know so you could get into real estate you can get into stocks you can do

something really conservative I wouldn't do I know I I don't think this is bad to say white boy for example he has most of his money in cash and he's very like you know I did if he's ever earned a dollar he probably still has 85 cents of it you know he doesn't blow his money and um you know he's not multiplying it but dude you could do a lot worse you know he drives a used jeep i think he still has that thing and uh and you know so like i man i don't want to take shots at him he's not getting as many views as you are for example anymore but i bet he's really happy that he didn't go wild when he could have yeah no um i think you mentioned it once where like the the big baseball guys like in the pk while back where the big

baseball guys they earn a lot of money and they just go out and spend like one third or over one thirtieth of and and it's like why would you do that and and even with the youtubers i go and party um and then like when you're when you're when you're 40 50 years old uh you already have a lot of money build up you you could you could spend some money right like um why not but if you're 20 and and you're like booming and you're like i'll spend 10k in an evening like in a night that's in my opinion you're stupid like you can basically buy a car out of that or how old are you in some stocks i'm 20 20 years old so if you do this right like 12 months of your life saving it can literally make the next i'm gonna say you live another 60 can make the next, I'm gonna say you live another 60,

can make the next 60 years easy on you. You know, like you're trying to build enough real estate that you've got a passive income. That's pretty neat. I'm sorry, Kyle. He's telling me that there's an ad read coming. Yeah, if you just, yeah, right, you spend 12 months sort of packing it away, and then the next whatever 60 times 12 is months, they go easy on you.

And that's pretty awesome. But speaking of money, Dollar Shave Club time? Yeah. I always love these. I never know if Chiz writes them or if the CEO is writing this. So, I used to shave with a razor that was so old it ate dinner at 430 that's not funny that's not funny let's try another one I used to shave with a razor that was so old it had a plastic cover on its

couch no no it's not funny either I used to shave with a razor that was so old it was moving to Florida alright we'll just move along why why did I torture myself with a gross old blade for weeks and weeks because I didn't have to shell out twenty dollars a pack for new ones that's why Why, why did I torture myself with a gross old blade for weeks and weeks? Because I didn't have to shell out $20 a pack for new ones. That's why. DollarShaveClub.com changed all of that.

They totally revolutionized the way I shave. Now I shave with a fresh blade whenever I want. Dollar Shave Club delivers a whole sleeve of amazing razors for just a few bucks. I pop a fresh blade whenever I want. Shaving with a fresh blade feels fantastic. And you just get a better shave when you start with a fresh blade whenever I want. Shaving with a fresh blade feels fantastic. And you just get a better shave when you start with a fresh blade. So, dollarshaveclub.com razors are so good, millions of people have signed up already. And the billion-dollar razor corporations are totally freaking out. You see them trying to come up with their own knockoffs of what they're doing over here.

So, but instead of lowering their bloated prices, they're trying to fool us into milking the same blade for an entire month and that's just gross. You don't want that nasty blade with all kinds of skin cells in there digging into the wounds that you're inevitably creating with their cheap dull razors. It's not good for you. They price gouge us for so long, it's long enough. I'll never go back to squeezing weeks and weeks of shaves out of a disgusting old blade. Upgrade to shaving with a fresh blade whenever you want. It's such a luxury and it's one-third of the price.

Join me, everyone at Painkiller already, and millions of others who have figured out the smarter way to shave. Join Dollar Shave Club right now by going to dollarshaveclub.com slash pka today. That's dollarshaveclub.com slash pka. Awesome. Yeah. The deal with old razors, if you don't know,

is that you have to work harder to get them to cut and that's what like rips your skin apart you know you want to have a secret it's the little the thick i don't know how thick your facial hair is how coarse it is mine is very coarse powerful take a pass at it and then you try and rinse it off especially if it has more than one blade even if you rinse it really well and try and like rub down with your finger, with your thumb to try and get it out, you're not going to get rid of all of it. And then you have little sprigs of your own coarse facial hair digging into you before the blade even gets a chance to make contact. It's shit. You should feel like shit if you do it. Dollar Shave Club. It's not just shaving. Like if you're doing like,

I don't know, woodworking on furniture and your chisel's are weak, you have to work three times harder with your dulled chisel to get it to cut. And that's how you hurt yourself. If the thing slices like a hot knife through butter, then it's safer. It might be counterintuitive, but it is. You've got to replace your old razors. The same thing is true with your face. Dollar Shave Club. Keep your razors fresh and tight, and you'll get a better shave and

you won't hurt yourself you won't have little japanese flags everywhere yep it looked great little japanese flags you come up with that i stole it from kyle really i think i stole it from kyle i'll take it all right All right. So is Quebelkop a word in Danish? Yes. Dutch. Dutch. No, I think I know. I buy them at the corner store all the time.

Quebel means talking or chattering, and kop means head. So if you would put the word together, you'd have talking head or chattering head. But the word for that,'d have talking head or chattering head um but the word for that the definition is also chatterbox so basically quabalcup means chatterbox and uh all the dutch people will know i'm dutch because because of the name um but all the english people are like quabalcup oh what does it mean and i think it sounds pretty cool, right? Quibble Cop? Quibble Cop? Quibble Cop? Yeah. Whatever.

I'm on board. But I call my subs cops, as in police officers cops with a K. So people always assume that I call them cops because they're like police officers or something, but I call them cops because it means heads or something like that. But I thought that was a pretty pretty original thing to do instead of uh quibblets or kugels or prostitutes no it's good see i knew

it was foreign because of the k's you guys always have a lot of very creative k place we have um we have k's and and and g's and we say uh which is a pleasant sound. It is scary. Yeah. Do it again for us. I like that. So, so we go, um, a canal would be a, a, ah, yeah, of course. Any dirty talk with that sound? Um, I don't know. It's, it's, no, no, no, no dirty talk with that.

But we, we do. If you, if you see a nice ass, you say, uh, liquor. Did you guys see the weatherman? Yes. Who pronounced the long city? Yes, that was beautiful. Can we watch it together? Sure.

Apparently, this guy pronounces this city name. I can't... What's the city name again? Today, we had a big contrast in temperature across the UK. Taylor, it's you. It's you, Taylor. That was me. It's something like Lil' Infer Gaggenlaggles Sraggen Dabben Williams Lilligogogak.

We should all try to pronounce it before we watch him pronounce it. Okay. I took my turn. Taylor? No, I don't want to practice. Oh, your mic is off now. Kyle, can you pronounce this? Lawnfare.

Okay, Taylor. That's what we call it for short. I'm more impressed with his facial hair. Look at this guy's beard. He's using Dollar Shave Club. Look at that line he's got there. He's a beast. See, that's why I thought a black barber would be for me.

I thought they had the most talent in the game. Not the case. Anyway, apparently the backstory to this is it just so happened that this town had the highest temperature and some other town had the lowest and they were near each other and he needed to point out the variants. And there is a, I think they shortened the town to like Lillen Fair or something, but he manned up and pronounced the whole thing. Ready, set, play.

Today we had a big contrast in temperature across the UK, just 12 degrees over coastal parts of eastern England. Look at it. The cloudy skies. Haunting us. He killed it! I've got to watch it again. Just up the road from Llanfairdwll Gwyn, Llanfairdwll Gwyn, Llanfairdwll Gwyn, Llanfairdwll Gwyn. He did it. And everyone's amazed. They're like, oh, my God.

He didn't take the easy way out. Yeah. You could see in his eyes, like, he was looking forward to doing this. He's been practicing that. Yeah. He must have. He's like, wait till I lay this shit on him. And as I watch it, I see that word on there and i'm like oh my god like

it's haunting us it's coming he's got this i thought it was fake at the start i thought someone just slammed his head against the keyboard it was like oh here try to pronounce that yeah and then you did it do you have any interest in playing that game we played in the woods with the animals and the the you know, the last letter? I would do that. I was saying urchin at my screen the whole time. Oh, wait, that was filmed? I didn't realize that was in there.

I only watched part of it, but I knew that's what Kyle had in his back pocket. I'll play it. All right, Jordy, are you familiar with this? All right, I'll say an animal name. It'll go me, Kyle, Jordy, Taylor Which on the thing is a rotation Me, Kyle, Jordy, Taylor And I'll say an animal name

I'll kick it off And the last letter of my animal Needs to be the first letter Of your animal And we can't repeat the animals That's right It's a very boring game I'm terrible with word games.

I'm dyslexic. Me, Kyle, Jordy, Taylor. No Dutch words? No Dutch. Can't trust you. Lion. So it's an N. I'm already being nervous. I'm shaking, guys.

N, huh? Nightingale. Oh, that one kept being mine. Does that end with an E? No cheating, no cheating. Eagle. Oh, another E. Taylor?

So I have to do two E's. It begins with an E. That's all that matters. Oh. Emu. Oh, ends with a U. Urchin. Ends with an N.

Oh, Kyle has a second N. No one could have seen this coming. Up next on animal guessing newt uh geordie ends with the e t uh t t um no dinosaurs nope hey i say go for it no um TTT I bet everybody's yelling like I have one in my head only one there he's a very good very good letter a lot of options really I have one a lot of options lots of them I could probably give you five up the top of my head five Jesus I can't even come up with one I'll count down for you ten nine you got it eight seven six five four Kyle how'd you

do lighting the tiger in the woods I mean fire one you're out I didn't get Five, four, three, two, one. You're out. You didn't get tiger out of that? I heard a toucan one night, and it frightened me. But there were some tree frogs riveting, and those made me feel good. I wish I'd had some turkey to eat, though. I told you guys, I'm terrible, terrible at word games or puns. So now it's Taylor, then me, then Kyle.

Okay. Taylor, a T word? Any of those. We just listed. So no dinosaurs? I can't be over with Tyrannosaurus Rex? That's what I would have done. Dude, I did it with movies, right? And they're like, S.

I'm like, Superman 3. Come up with something that starts with three three ways to die or oh nice i don't think we've done r yet so i'll do tiger we should do movies um movies would be hard we did music that's fun uh r r uh robin R R R Robin So it's in again It wasn't planned, but I'm very happy about it 10

The dog breeds count no not no horse shit This is really not I don't know dude. I don't care. I feel like dog breeds should count. I feel like they should count, too. All right. Well, we looked up that giant dog for you, then you found one. Ooh, nice. D, the tailor. Dog. Ooh. Giraffe. E. E? Isn't it? Am I wrong? Just giraffe end with F?

Giraffe ends with an E. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Eagle. Yeah. Oh. Is he out? Or did you get another one?

Eel. Eel. You can say one and they all kill Woody. Or not. Lemur. does that end with R? yes it does rhinoceros so that's an S let me try to think of a hard one here

I need to make it end in a letter that's hard sphinx no you should have said lynx now you got all the ideas letter that's hard. Sphinx! No, you should have said lynx. Oh. Yeah. Now you got all the ideas. Yeah, right? Suddenly he's an animal expert. Mr. T.

No, like, get a brain fart. No, it's alright. You speak multiple languages. It's the struggle of doing Dutch and English. French and Spanish and German. Wow. I can't think of any that end in V or anything. What's your letter?

Start counting down. It's an S. I'm coming up with an S word. I'll say sea lion. N for Taylor. N. N. N. God, we've already done quite a few

N's, haven't we? Kyle has. You said Nightingale. That was your N, right? One of them. I said Nightingale and Newt and Newfoundland. why do i get stuck with these i've got one more i got one more but that's all i got after that there's no more that i can what's your other one i'd rather not say it's for science you can ruin it if it doesn't come up with it i'll say it narwhal the narwhal all right l yep links wait wait not does narwhal in it it's not what not

whale it's not wall narwhal ends with an L okay links X is that it is that here X there's there's one link one thing which starts with the X that's just lame man you should know this. I should know this? Stop helping him! X.

An X. X-Ray. an X as 10 x-ray yes yes yes keep going to legit search is an animal but now I pick that one yeah counted down Taylor it was that x-ray tetra. What's that? What is that? It's a little fish. Of course what it is. It's a little animal that starts with X. So I choose the X-Ray Tetra.

No, it was already taken. Oh, so am I still in the game? No, it was taken. Alright, so with A. Aardvark. Kangaroo. Oh, orangutan another n you bastard

don't help him jordy i won't don't google anything for me just pay me some money you know jordy i still got one more let me see your hands i don't want to see you googling let me see your hands I don't want to see you googling oh for those of you on the way to work I'm trying to think of an animal that starts with N I don't have any either Nightingale is a really good one Newfoundland is dubious Nightingale was mine

from the camping trip Narwhal was mine from the camping trip 10 9 8 7 Nightingale was mine from the camping trip. Yeah. Narwhal was mine from the camping trip. That's true, too. 10, 9, 8, 7, hands up, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Is it Northern Wolf count? What do you got? North! Nurse Shark. Nurse Shark is a great one.

Is it Northern Wolf a thing? We're going to the internet. I'm happy that I won. Northern Wolf. It's an animal. I got one win in the woods. I think everyone else got two. I feel like he gets half of your win though. He gave you that lynx one and that was just a real knockout blow. There's no way to follow that. The x-ray tetra, is that what you said? I was just joking.

That's the back up I well now you know I think you're right I got lucky in that I was the first guy to hit the L what other fun car games can we play let's list all the states so that we knock Geordie out first again I know a few states yeah all we have to do is take up let's do all the European countries I have I have a few states. All we have to do is take up... Let's name all the European countries. I have an ask-credit question. I also have a question, or a

topic. Oh, yeah. You go first. You guys always talk about the auto-blowing stuff and how good it is and how revolutionary it is, but I don't know does any one of you guys have an oculus rift doesn't feel as good the auto blow actually

moves up and down your penis try to fuck that car man it hurts i don't see where your penis goes on that thing they they have oculus rift like porn you know so uh it's not just the the regular thing where you go to the website and you see like one camera angle of the guy pounding the girl right but it's literally thing on your head look around look down and then like these girls there you know so i was like you know it like auto blow up his oculus rift yeah yeah it seems like it's a piece of the puzzle i have an oculus rift here you guys don't know what about i've done some research with it okay have you really uh yeah yeah i was i was drunk with some friends and they're like oh let's go on a roller coaster so we went on a roller coaster with it it was pretty really cool

really cool and then they're like so you got porn in that i was like maybe so so we checked it out because i was like i didn't check it out yet and it's fucking amazing it's um it's the closest like it's almost a real deal and literally um you know like i wasn't ranking to it or anything because my friends were there no i was yeah it's like just look away. Just look away. Oh, yeah, but um it literally feels it feels at one point because at one point your brain thinks you're really in the simulation and And like my friends were like titty-grabbing and stuff you know when the girl is there They're like let me get these titties and and and It's it's that's what they said they said that let me get these titties and and um it's it's that's what they said they said that let

me get these titties they were saying that out loud you can see them go like you can see them go like that you know and or trying to grab it um but like like you said taylor like it's still not really optimized but at one point it will and uh and then we're done with those bitches yeah and then the autoblow right the autoblow like this is autoblow 2 i think imagine autoblow 9 or 10 right where it's like almost a real girl uh doing the thing and you put on the oculus rift and you're like okay let's go you never have to leave the house again um but it's like like like what like what he said it's if it's uh it fits together and it's um it's it's a big step towards like uh i think her is that the movie name or she it's uh it's this movie where the guy has a relationship it's really uncomfortable and awful i hate it it's like

that shit's gonna happen at one point. People are gonna sit here, put on the Oculus Rift, interact with their virtual girlfriend, put on the autoblow and start fucking her or something like that. Wow. I'm thinking back to that. People are gonna get so tired of the blandness of it, of the perfection of just fucking and then

her going on her own way. They're gonna build the real simulator where it's like, oh, I'm gonna turn nagging on Do the dishes hardcore Hardcore that you fucker right you or you have to fight a fucker. So it's like difficulty like Headache headache headache You play veteran mode and with my girlfriend gotta get home you play on veteran mode and with my girlfriend gotta get home you play on veteran mode and you're married so you have to like fucking do the dishes so that

she's in a good mood before you make your move uh what was i gonna say uh this is a great topic i lost it um yes it's a great reality yeah oh oh did you guys see that video humans need not apply where they talk about how human jobs are going to be replaced by robots yeah yeah i you know i never really thought of it but it this is totally attacking like the prostitute line of work not only prostitute but also uh porn because um it like you can get vr porn but at one point uh anime animated porn will start taking over and it'll look just like the real deal. That's just gonna bring those prostitution numbers right down to where we want them. Yeah, yeah!

It's not a problem for me. The prices will drop, so that's good, yeah. Yeah, yeah, like, why would I pay $350 for half and half in the backseat of my car in some deserted alley when I could go home, hook up my $1500 fuck machine that is just good all day, every day and looks like my favorite woman in the world. It's funny. You mentioned animated and I instantly went to like Jessica Rabbit or something, but no,

this is realistic looking CGI porn. You make it the person you want to fuck. You could pick someone from your real life. That's what I want to do. There's an episode of Star Trek Deep Space Nine like that. I don't know. I know it. Yeah, yeah. The alien wants to fuck Colonel Kira.

And so, like, Quark is following her around with a holo-imager trying to, like, get her image. So that, like, he can create a holographic version of her for this guy to fuck. And, like, that's totally the next step. It's like, you know, are you that guy who's been friend-zoned forever? Well, for $500, I'll make a porno of this girl just send me a picture of her her measurements a few distinguishing features you'd like matched we'll make her you know whatever that's not even the there was another one that long uh longhorn waitress bring me my fucking salad do you know that um barkley barkley he was like a sort of a nerdy shy

introverted science like engineer on it wasn't d space i think it was next gen anyway they went on the holodeck and like i guess interrupted him and counselor troy like was totally into barkley and you just knew he was fucking her like like that was a thing like he was doing counselor troy on the holodeck in virtual reality. Yeah, Barclay didn't last long. He had all kinds of mishaps, and he was all unstable. Remember he had that thing with the holo... He got incredibly intelligent.

Yeah. Eh. If you can simulate, like, beating the shit out of someone, too, or killing someone, murder, rape, all violent crime, it's going to plummet, because you can just download them into it. You'd be like, you should've let me do security faster, you fucking asshole! You think you're in charge cause you have a blue uniform on?

Like, just yelling at someone, and then you get it out. You know? That's Grand Theft Auto 8. Get ready. It's gonna be fun. I played the GTA 5 with the Oculus Rift, but it's terrible. Like, it's not really optimized and stuff. Yeah, I need a real gun. Oh, put that away! It's not really all gone. It's yeah. I need I need a real guy

You have a I have a pen if someone comes in you know I Did some fighting back in the day I could take him out that looks like a marker Are you sure that's gonna do the trick it looks like it's a little tip tip and that's all Deadly headache These are deadly I'm sure they are I've been practicing too much with the Oculus Rift but um I really think like

if you ever get an Oculus Rift I'm just saying hit me up I'll link you some good websites it's the real deal okay like it's insane are they for sale yet oculus yeah yeah you can get one you can order one it'll be here next week not with amazon prime though but um it'll be it'll be something else um isn't there a competitor that makes uh supposedly better uh

vr thing yeah i i tried a few ones you have the the valve one and the HCC five five It's called that's probably the the best one right now, but it's not on the market yet, and you get two little Little joysticks with it, and you can actually interact so you know when the girls there you can hit her or slap her ass right? Yeah, when you hit what you can cook? Well, I feel like it hit her does she cry in pain yeah of course it's like realism realistic stuff i feel like back mercy if you wanted to so i've got a question in the um in the tech world a lot of times like it's not necessarily the best one but the one that everybody goes to is the one that you want to be on like it's the

popular platform are these things all uh like cross- or is it Oculus Rift porn and Oculus Rift games? No, no, no. So, so, so they have, they have this website with the video and you can download it for your smartphone, for your Oculus Rift, for all the other things. Right. But I think the Oculus Rift has like the highest resolution right now but not the highest frame rate and you want to go to something else and some people are like it's not comfortable I think it's it's pretty comfortable but it's it's really it's it's developing really quickly and I think in the next five years we're gonna see a really big improvement in this this type of technology. Oculus Rift seems like it's not developing quickly to me like I feel like we got excited about the Oculus Rift in 2012,

and here it is in 2015, late 2015, and it's, like, no one's playing with it. Like, you're the first guy to have mentioned it to me in a long time. No, no, I'll be the first one. I'll be that trendsetter. But you're talking about three years, which is, you know like compared to to cars it it's it's it's still a really small uh skill that the whole the whole

thing um but it it went from it's still not released by the way uh but i think as as like it started with the oculus rift and now other bigger companies are starting to notice it. Facebook bought Oculus. But I definitely think in the next few years it's going to be a lot more relevant, especially with the HoloLens. I don't know if you guys have seen that. The Microsoft thing? Yeah, you put it on your face and you can see stuff in the room. I'm interested.

I just don't feel like I want to be on the ground floor of that thing. I feel like I want the third generation one when it actually starts. I've heard people compare it to just having a cell phone right in your face, and that's not appealing to me. Two cell phones. It's like two screens. You've got one there, one there. And if you have it too long or the settings are wrong, you get a headache.

I don't remember which one they were describing that I was reading. It may be the one you described with the better frame rate but lower resolution. But I'm really interested in that. Of course, growing up watching Star Trek, the idea of the holodeck and somehow coming up with that. I've seen the 360-degree treadmill things where you've got a bumper around your torso and the panel

moves omnidirectionally I guess would be the way to put it. The idea of being on that, having some sort of an avatar like gun where it's a real gun here, there aren't any real bullets but I've got extra magazines and every time I do a reload like it's legit

and it it happens in the game if i could do that like a simulator oh man that would be incredible fun downside to that is i let's pretend we're of equal skill level and you're playing with a bumper and a treadmill and a real gun and i have a controller i think i crush you oh yeah it's a bloodbath every time i also extreme conditioning on your character but you actually get winded by the time you get the b flag what he's just holding the joystick i'm gonna be a thousand times but but but there's gonna i'm gonna be so much more accurate like like it takes me so long to lock onto a target in call of duty when like

it would literally be bang bang bang like it's so fast in real life i don't think he'll and it also i guess you know like auto aim comes into not auto aim but aim assist whatever it is um that how it gets sticky onto the player um that i would i would welcome giving that up i i feel like real me isn't like standing there like hello bad guy it's real me is like coming out and like peeking out and coming around a corner and doing stuff that your character just can't even do. I feel like I've got so much more control over like every, like, you know, I can make my elbow do whatever I want. I'll tuck that fucker in.

I'll get in a stance that's, I'll change from Weaver to Isosceles as needed and I'll be moving, strafing. Like, I just feel like i can do things that you can't make your video game character i don't know i can make my character superman belly flop jump into a drop shot all day long i can shoot a quarter out of the air like it's not gonna matter i i just feel like it would i think that would be the ultimate and like a first person shooter experience to get to do it for real for for your gun to be in your actual hands. Leave a comment, people.

Who do you think plays better, a good real-life shooter or a hardcore player with a controller? I think Carl would win in the 1v1 rust. You think so? Quickscopes and NoScope? No, Shipyard is what he wants. Oh, Shipyard, yeah, there we go. Shipment we're talking about.

Shipment, there you go. I'd want a big map so I could sound you real good. You really get into it. When you're playing with a controller it's like someone's sitting over there and someone's talking over there. You've got distractions

from the outside world plus reflexes when someone shoot at you at you you're not gonna go with your thumb like straight to the right but if you're if you're aiming you're in in the in the world in the virtual reality someone shoots at you you're just gonna dodge away or whatever in my head i'm like good luck sound horn while you're in real life running and panting on a treadmill. Yeah. And I think a controller or a mouse and keyboard, if that's your cup of tea. Leave a comment. Let me know, people, what you think watching the video.

Who's better? You're talking about controlling. Well, think about what you're talking about doing. You're saying that you can operate controls and puppeteer a person doing something better than a person can just do the thing yeah like not at first i mean when i first started playing left for dead i would literally get lost i'm like i don't understand what am i look oh i'm looking at the ceiling like i get it

now over the thing but after you know days of playing time i don't know how many days of playing you can't beat a real human. There's no way. I think I will smash a real human. Your avatar isn't going to match the weird little contorted things you're doing to try and get a good shot. It would in the scenario. No, no, because in that scenario, then you have no choice but to say you'd win because you have a literal ability in the game that they don't have.

That's what I'm describing. But they wouldn't do that. They would just give you autonomy over the actual aiming and shooting and running and things like that, but they would stabilize because they know not everyone can afford a $4,000 setup with an omnidirectional treadmill. Well, that's the game I'm playing. We're all on our omnidirectional treadmills,

except for Woody for some reason. Yeah, pretending that Kyleyle's kyle's world pretending that kyle's world comes into reality i i still think the controller is just a really good way to to rock the avatar i i still you got to think again though like which is better controlling a puppet and making it doing and making it raise its arms and and look like a human being or just raising your arms and looking like a human being i feel raising your arms and looking like a human being. I feel like you have your brain is a better controller for a body

than a controller is. It's just different. If you mo-capped me perfectly, then I can just move in ways that are so complicated like you can't even program it into a controller. You can put lean into a game, but you can't change where my elbow a controller. Like you can put lean into a game, but you can't change like where my elbow is or like the difference in the stances or like where

my head might be in certain situations or how I might just like interact with an environment. I feel like it'd be a massive advantage. I mean, but think about it. Like your brain is communicating messages to your body. For you, it's communicating gross motor skill functions. So you whipping around, even if you're an expert, that's not as fast as someone who doesn't have to move their legs, doesn't have to move their whole upper body. It's just a twitch of a thumb. But it's character depth.

They're going to beat you every time. It's a twitch of a thumb that I've practiced a million times. Out of practice today, but hypothetically the best version of me. And calling it a puppet isn't truly fair because you're not controlling every little bit like you're not you don't have one thumb stick controlling the it's not quop with your character who's also shooting so much of it is made like pre-made for you you're just moving it as an archetype that can also do these other things way faster than a human could i think that you know like like i've got like i feel like there's less lag in there.

I felt you're operating something to do a thing that I'm just doing. And so, like, you're, I don't know how to put it any better than that. You're telling something, you're adding an extra step that I don't even have. It's just, I'm just doing the thing. And you're having to tell something else to do the thing. That step that we're adding is facilitating

the quicker movement. You know, why go get in your car and then drive to the store when you can just walk to the store there's certain circumstances well there would be certain circumstances where it could be faster like if we were both like running into each other and we're both looking the same degrees away from off center and we both notice each other at the same time maybe yeah your sensitivity is quick enough to flip over and shoot at me but i don't have to change my whole body's directionality to shoot at you I could be looking this way and I see you over there, and I'll just go bang

Like I just think that there's so much more open to me as a human being rather than a video game avatar Like maybe quickly turn and aim or even just a real quick flip like that With your actual body or could you more quickly just tap your seven sensitivity immediately there? I think I'm just so accurate inside of a room, you know, at six, seven yards that I just don't need. I'm just faster. I honestly think you would be too. You could be right.

I'm just having trouble thinking. Imagine you've got your semi-automatic shotgun, and you're fucking pumped, and you're walking through a house wide-eyed, wired as fuck, not caring if, you know, you're shooting movement. You're not playing, but you know what I mean? It's a video game. You're shooting movement. There's no reason to worry about dogs or civilians, because it's a video game.

You're shooting on movement, and you're going through pumped as fuck. And there's some other guy out there on an Xbox with a controller and lag and all that, you've got lag as well, of course, because you're operating this thing from home. But I just feel like you're going to be like, boom! And he'll never be as fast as you. And you'll be able to go, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom! Your follow-up, your control of recoil is all going to be superior to anything the video game is going to offer to an avatar.

That's interesting how they would implement recoil. Because you're obviously not firing a real gun. You're in control. Recoil is less for me than it is for most people. No, they would make it so you had to actively aim down as you shot. Because otherwise that would be whole shit of just no recoil for anyone with an Oculus Rift. He wants a gun that's reactive. Like a recoil gun.

There's a sensor on this gun and it knows how well I controlled that recoil every time. It knows if it popped up this much or this much. If I'm loosey-goosey and being an asshole, like, I see people coming all the way back here, but if you watch my videos when I'm shooting a.45 caliber handgun, it does this.

Like, I'm locking my wrists, I'm extending my forearms, and I can hold it right there and I can dump the whole magazine into the chest of a target at seven yards. But you can't do that in a video game because it's not fair. There's no way to balance that out in a video game. They just give you random recoil. But I don't have random recoil. And I've got like instant...

I don't have superhuman reflexes or anything, but like, if there's movement there and it's a video game, then I'm of course gonna go bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang and shoot 15 times right there in two seconds reloading would be hard from the perspective you're talking about i'd love that i'd love to do i could do the reload by feel like like if if you've got mags here like and you're just you're just popping them in and out like i feel like you could just do that and i feel like it adds so much to the game because in the game he just does it i i don't know if you've ever tried to reload fast, but it's a bit, you're like, ah, oh god.

And then add in, like, you need some sort of punishment, some sort of negative reinforcement for getting shot. I would love it if you got a little jolt. A little jolt, like nothing that's gonna be awful, but give him a little zap. You know, put some fear involved. Like, you shouldn't run around that corner like it doesn't

matter. That'd be a cool game to play. I'm hoping that's in great shape. I'd play it. I'd buy it. There you go. Get the sponsorship. Get it. You make that. Call of Duty 27. And Wings of Redemption will be

like an Iron Man. You'll see. He'll have one of those those oxygen deprivation just wings of redemption remember when he played modern warfare 2 he was the he might have been the first legit 10th prestige in the world on playstation and then he made 10th prestige on the xbox 2 like and this was all within like you know first first february or something yeah no earlier than that it was like there's like 20 days of real world time and he put in like 15 days of game time shit like you do nothing but play and sleep and that's it he was bandaging his fingers

yeah i think if wings of redemption got hooked on a game that required him to like physically interact with it like and he and he put the kind of Modern Warfare 2 effort that he put in back in the day, yeah, he'd be an Iron Man. He'd end up as a soldier of fortune somewhere, like fucking shooting brown people somewhere, like he always wanted. Didn't he have a term for brown people? I don't remember. He had a term for anyone who wasn't white that I don't want to repeat. I once played with Wings back in the day. I was a small YouTuber.

And he invited me because I was a fan. I was like, oh, he tweeted it out. So I went to play with him. And we played a game. And it was with six people and of course we lost the game no really mad and everybody and he was like yeah you guys are shit and what you guys don't have like these um way to take out the turrets and we didn't have like perks to take it out or something and I was like well like I thought we were just gonna play a game I thought this was for fun and he's

like sorry I have to block you for a block you because I don't never want to play with you anymore so I was like okay fair enough but that was that I literally played one game that was it it's pretty funny we waited so long to tell this story on the show by the way two years I was like one day I'll get on

and I'll tell that story. I'll get payback on that guy someday. I've played many games with Wings. I always enjoyed playing with Wings because I knew that he was going to take it super seriously. So I didn't have to worry about that. Right?

Like, there was going to be someone who was going to be like, you know, if things start going bad, he was going to make the group be accountable for it. He never yelled at me to either his credit or my own, however you want to look at it, but he never once yelled at me, but I've seen him yell at so many people, both on our team and on the other team, and I always loved it.

Yeah, I was one of those. I remember him talking smack in Battlefield to these guys and just, like, reeling off all his stats and talking about Battle.net or whatever their website is. Yeah, where you can check the stats and talk about score per minute and like, you scrubby, dubby motherfucker, don't you know who I am? And just being like, yeah, they should know who you are.

And they do. It was always funny when they were like, yeah, we know who you are, you motherfucker. I always liked playing with Wayne. He yelled at me the first couple times I played with him. It was with you guys too. It was like 3 or 4 years, probably like 4 years ago now first time we were playing together I know I did deserve it, I ruined the spawn

and wings berated me I will not forget that, I felt like such an asshole I probably gave you a hard time too that was not something that I put up with if you mess up the spawns, you can get out you know only one rule just don't don't go into their spawns that was it was it black ops one then or uh no it was uh

modern warfare 2 oh okay on that rooftop map yeah uh hide and just high rise with your r21 everyone is you know right outside the building right where the spawn line is just you know punishing these people taylor runs in there and lets them out of the building i'm gonna impress these guys i'm gonna get four knife kills in a row god damn it mark durka we can see all that me once or twice too but i i i don't know what you guys did when you got yelled at but i was i would put it right back you know i'll be like i was he was my hero back then so i was like you know sorry yeah like yeah it was always unwarranted i remember i think i've told this story before like there was one

time about capturing flags and he's like you fuckers aren't capturing fights we were having a hard time it was domination and i had i forget if it was seven or nine flag caps at the time and he had two and he's yelling at me for not capping flags and uh and i'm like check the scoreboard check the fucking scoreboard see who's capping flags and then somehow my seven flag caps weren't like good ones or something like you know oh i saw your flag caps what did you all All seven? You know? I don't know what. And I would, I don't want to repeat it all, but I'd push it back hard. Like, I don't need you, motherfucker.

I don't know who you think you are, but you're not getting away talking to me like that. It was like, yeah. I'm an adult. I have children. Yeah. It's like, I'm not some fan that you can bully. You're not my dad. You're not my whatever. Basically, it's like I'm not some fan that you can bully. You're not my dad. Basically, it was you can't bully me. Like, you know, I'm not some fan who you just replace with somebody else.

You want to play with me, you be respectful. That was the core of the message. It was fun overall playing with him because we almost always won. Yes. Yeah, you typically. And that was true with all the YouTube groups. Like, you know. Any party, most of the time, like if you just get five good guys

yeah i used to play with t martin onslaught and i forget who else but you know we'd pay another guy and uh we'd just go and beat people all the time i liked it i was probably the worst in my group but uh i wasn't the worst trash talker everyone left every time yes yeah yeah it was all in and of course everyone's heard this but my big line would be don't leave don't leave they'd be talking shit you stay here i want to talk to you after the game i want to talk to you when this is all over and uh well normally we used to have the same clan tag like um we'd have what is it uh hoppet or or whatever uh or yeah no like like i i i met like a ton of of friends on on the website um but then at one point we're like okay so we joined the lobby we got six guys over there uh with the same clan tag and they would just all leave the other guys would

just straight away be like a full party fucking leave so what we end up doing is like some people like two two people don't have a clan tag. Then the other four have like different ones and then some have like the same one. So that if we join the lobby, it looks like we're like a random group of people. But but actually we're just like they're on the mics in the party. Be like, OK, get them in that Nuketown spawn trap. And it's great. We do the same thing with the killstreaks. If we had a matching clan tag, then it didn't work out at all.

Sometimes we'd do themes like wine, cheese, beer. Everyone had a food. Or song. Then we just started switching them up entirely. They got to a point where we got recognized in lobbies enough that people would want to play against us.

Like, I love Team Art and Woody and whatever, and they'd stick around. Do you guys have anything ready for a new topic? Yeah, I also have another topic, but I think we should do that, man. This one is kind of an add-on to the last one. I heard Mr. Russian here say that, not in the last PKA, but the one before that, that the casting couch wasn't real, I think. I think one of you guys mentioned that.

So I found this article. I'll link it. And it's an article of… I thought for sure he's going to be like, that couch is real. No, no, no. Not that couch. The one behind you. And it is real. No, no, no. Not that couch. The one behind you. And it's real.

Okay, so this is kind of not safe for work, but not really. I wouldn't classify this as not safe for work. But it's about this Czech school teacher who is in a porno. Oh, she's hot. Yeah, she's hot, yeah. She was in a porno. Oh, she's hot. Yeah, she's hot, yeah. She was in a porno. And then it turns out that the kids watching were pupils of hers. And they discovered that she was in a porno.

But, you know, the surprise came to me when I was like, you know, I watch these videos on probably a regular basis, right? I've seen all of them. But I'm always like, I'm always like, ah, this is like they're trying to make it real, but it's fake, right? And then all of a sudden an article comes out. I'm like, wait, all this shit could potentially be real? Because

it was like, she normally doesn't do it. Look, I haven't read the whole article. Not this one. But it turns out some of the casting couches are real Maybe not that famous black one, but this white one is like a legit thing So it seems like it would be so illegal Right, I don't know if they if they still like nah. This is I don't think so this should get paid for this they still like nah this is i don't think so this this shit got paid for this yeah they call it i feel like the porn casting video is just another genre of porn like don't think of it as like oh

she's not really a porn star she's somehow like a normal girl that we're getting to see do porn star stuff it totally is like a kind of porn like i would imagine that a lot of the girls we see in casting couch porn have done other porn prior to it. Like, oh yeah, I did a gangbang yesterday. I did Anal Monsters 3 on Friday. And today I'm doing a casting couch video pretending like this is my first time ever. I think that's the deal. That's definitely what it is. They're not just going to Chipotle, spending three minutes there and bagged another one.

That's just not how life works. Oh, that's always such bullshit. There is a genre where a guy would just pay random girls on the street like hey i'll give you 50 if i can see your boobies and then you see that and then you know like he's making video on it yeah he would up it some more and they do something else and eventually they're like sucking his dick and he's like hey you know i'll give you the rest of this and they have full-on dick and he's like hey you know uh i'll give you the rest of this and they have full-on sex and it's like i don't think you can walk up to

random hot girls and no change sex for money go to the prostitutes is like 50 50 dollars and you get fucky fucky fucky sucky sucky they say i like the ones where they don't even try and make it kind of real, where it's like they're walking by and they're like walking by a bubble tea. Nice. I see you like sucking on coconut shakes. Like, and it's just,

I've got a question. So there's a genre where women misbehave in a big way at male strip clubs, right? You've seen this. Yeah. Misbehave. Yeah. yeah yeah like like you know they'll suck his guys off and jerk the guys off yeah yeah that's real that happens that's a true thing i read this i read this whole like uh uh reddit post from like uh guys who have worked

in that industry and do those parties that's legit oh oh it's a it's a lady strip clubs you mean like with the guy dancing exactly the women are much more vulgar and awful than like any of the male uh like strip club goers they're much more likely to like grab the guy or do something inappropriate because you know women you know how women are imagine drunk women like oh yeah i'll do it i want well they know they're not gonna get kneecapped in the back office for it. If you put women in a group, sometimes they can get very... A little rowdy. Rowdy, that's actually a perfect word.

Yeah, they can get a little rowdy compared to guys in a group who might even be less rowdy than alone. I don't know. But yeah, I've often wondered, like, what do these women do at strip clubs? Are there no limits? Like with guys, these girls pretty much don't want to have sex with them. Like the female dancers.

That's not a thing that they're down for typically, I think. But you know, if you switch it around, maybe guys like, yeah, they want to do that they want to put this thing in their mouth then uh knock yourself out no yes i wouldn't i don't think so

they described as like you know like like uh well they can't come obviously or that ruins the whole night and you stop making money and you have to leave like so you just kind of gotta like but you've got to keep it hard all night to entertain the ladies and you yeah it sounded awful to hear these guys describe like what it was like being a male stripper around these all gross women that's a hardcore humble brag that sounds like the most humblest of brag posters like oh well you know they're trying their best to just get on top of me but you know me i gotta stay shredded flex my six-pack and keep an erection and i can't even come now don't let me wrong i'm great i've done this so many times you don't even need to worry

about it but every once in a while if i hadn't had sex in four or five hours starts to build up again a humble bragging piece of shit and you know what you're doing everybody's just lapping it up like a kitten with a saucer of milk i hate posts like that it's aggravating you are very good at them though you need a new stripper account for sure up like a kitten with a saucer of milk i hate posts like that it's aggravating it's not real you are very good at them though you need a new stripper account for sure yeah yeah but wait those are definitely real obviously you know so much about this business stripper see i'm telling you telling you how it is but kyle you really think those are real which ones not the videos necessarily i think you say the experience are real? Which ones? Not the videos necessarily.

I think you say the experience is real. Yeah, I think that stuff actually goes down. Some of the videos I'm sure are real, but it's hard to pick and choose and find the ones that are. I think I'm pretty good at that. Every now and then I've found a little bit of everything that I've determined myself that like, yeah, that's legit. That's real. But yeah, for the most part, all of it's fake

because it's a lot cheaper to do it that way. We all know when you're trying to catch something spontaneously interesting on camera, that can be very hard. But it's really easy to act. It's really easy to set something up and pay performers. Just suck that dick one more time. The interesting thing is there's this whole amateur genre, right? And I feel like that's gotten bigger in the last whatever, so many years.

But amateur is a dicey thing. Like Selena, a fan of the show, right? Some would call her amateur. But I think of her more as semi-pro at this point. Sure, she's not working for a production company or anything. But she's hoping to get so many million views a month or ten million. She's fucking – I definitely differentiate her. she's fucking her boyfriend only for one thing right she's not like being paid to like fuck this guy and then that guy she she's the one deciding

what she does um she does it all at home um i i definitely not the same thing as a pro i i agree not at all and certainly the fact that she only has sex with her boyfriend is it is a huge differentiator in my mind personally but it's also not like a one-time thing right like she has kind of a quota she does it for a living yeah she does it for a living and um i also feel like some of the things she's doing she's doing for the camera right like it's not she does it for a living and she you don't think she was enjoying the panel she's doing, she's doing for the camera, right? Like, it's not, she does it for a living. You don't think she was enjoying the panel? Exactly. Yeah, I bet she wasn't. And she seemed, not that I've ever seen such a video, but I've been told that she would, like, vomit after trying to.

Oh, she likes that. They like that. Yeah, she's just gagging on the dick and, like, throwing up and stuff. She throws up a lot when she gives hair. Yeah, I like that. They like that. Yeah, she's just gagging on the dick and like throwing up and stuff. She throws up a lot when she gives hair. Yeah, I like that. Like actual food? Well, no. Not like chunks of stew or anything, but you know, she'll throw up some

like foamy spit or whatever. It looks like she's had some Fanta recently. Whatever. Orange soda. It's more like a newborn baby spit up than like throw up. i was picturing like your post longhorn meal just chunks and no not not it's gagging said the contents is like newborn baby but it sounds like she's retching you know yeah that's unpleasant sound i like that sound i i always like when on stern when they play that noise of the porn stars like really like getting like throat fuck and it's like yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like not even a human noise anymore that's always great I got no problem with that I feel like sure she plays it up for the camera like like anybody who makes entertaining videos doing things that she wouldn't do if the camera wasn't rolling I think think. Yeah, sure, totally. Or she's like, all right, this is a film session, so we're going to go all out and whatever. I was going to say ass to mouth. I don't know if she's ever done that.

But we're going to go all out and do the extreme stuff because that's what gets the views. Lots of facials and choking, a lot of pee stuff, some public stuff. Always good stuff. Yeah, a lot of pee stuff. She's like, oh, yeah, for you guys who like the pee, some public stuff. Always good stuff. Yeah, a lot of pee stuff. She's like, oh yeah, for you guys who like to pee, here I go. She'll just piss at the bathtub or something. Like, here I am peeing.

And yeah, I enjoy. That's it? Well, I don't know. I only watch one or two of the pee ones. But she blew her boyfriend in some public park or something like that. That was interesting. She'll have facial montages where it's load after load. You know, good stuff.

Good stuff. Her facial montages. It's like vomit after vomit. Like, here's a time where I couldn't handle his length. Here's another time where I couldn't handle the length. This is like, oh, my gosh. You poor girl. Find a smaller penis.

Well, I need to watch some of her videos now. Yes, Selena22. Yeah, big fan of the show. She's doing quite well over there, from what I understand. Good for her. I think of her as the top amateur on Pornhub. The number one, or semi-pro, if you want to go by that. Not full pro.

She's definitely top tier over there. They feature her on the homepage and stuff. She's got millions of views. If you look at the amateur spot on that site, she's the thumbnail. She's the gem. I'm still not entirely sure that it's not her boyfriend who's actually in contact with us. Because she wouldn't want to come on the show because she was shy. I just watched you piss. boyfriend who's like actually in contact with us um okay because you know she did she never she wouldn't want to come on the show because she was uh shy and like i just watched you piss like

like you have eight loads of cum like like rapid firing onto your face and you're like smiling and being really cute about it like like come on so i'm not entirely sure it's not her boyfriend that like actually interacts and runs her social media and stuff. Could be. It's always hard to tell. And I've talked to her about this before. She's been like, no, it's not. And I was like, all right then, sure, I believe you. But I'm 50-50 on that one.

In any case, she seems to be doing really well over there. Well, good for her. There's no victims in what she's doing. Knock yourself out. Kyle, what's that? I don't know. I couldn't think of any. I i guess not he's a little scarred by the p video i didn't mind the p video there you go is that one of your cups of tea cups not really no i i always i think it's funny i don't i'm not turned off by it but i'm just not turned on by it in any way like i don't want you to pee on me i

don't want to pee on you i guess i'll'll watch you pee because, you know, sure, what's going on? Oh, alright. But that's also not a turn on, I guess. But whatever. If you wanted to pee, that'd be okay. But I'd prefer you did it in the bathtub or in the bathroom at least. On the tile floor.

Yeah, that would work. You'd pee on the tile floor, but just don't piss on the carpet or anything. Exactly. Nobody wants a middle of the-the-living-room pee. We have to rub their face in it afterward. There you go. Or make your end of that. I'll do that, too. I just feel like once or twice in your life, you want to see a girl pee just so you fully understand the anatomy,

where that thing comes from, and then you're like, all right, now that I've passed my self-imposed gynecological exam, I'm done with this. I changed my ninth-grade English teacher's homepage on her Mac. What were they called? Those big computers that were all different colors. Oh, the iMacs. The iMacs? Is that what it was?

Okay. I think it was the original iMac. I should have known that. So I changed her homepage to love2p.com. It's love, the number two, and then p.com. I don't even know if it's still a website, but at the time it was like all these pictures of chicks pissing their pants and their panties

and stuff like that. Just like real piss fest, right? And I changed her homepage to that and then changed to a new website. So as soon as she got there, she clicked reload, lovetop.com. It was great. It was great.

Good times. That's a nice little gag you got there thanks thanks yeah she was she was she was mortified it was it was real funny because like i don't know i'm sure she had never even conceived considered that that p was something sexual anywhere much less on her internet that's connected to the computer uh on our computer you could have cost a career i suppose so but it was kind of like the computer that we all used. That was funny. I remember there were a few websites

you could get to back in the day that the porn filters wouldn't stop. Whitehouse.com, it seemed like for a long time, was a porn site. We could get to it from our middle school computers. You'd think that they'd get that sorted out. Wait, Whitehouse.com? Yeah, so think that they'd get that sorted out wait whitehouse.com yeah so what has that go i'm sorry whitehouse.gov is the one that you're

expecting whitehouse.com now is just kind of a blank page it looks is it a search engine of some sort no probably a redirect or something it's not working on mine it's just a picture of the White House and then something underneath it that I can't quite figure out but nothing interesting well now we know do you have any more topics Jordy? no

not really I have one but I wanted these were the best ones I wanted Kyle to be here for my next topic. Well, Kyle, you didn't even put a BRB in his comments. One more thing.

Go ahead, Jordy. In Amsterdam, prostitution is allowed to a certain extent. It's legal here. But we don't only have female prostitutes. We also have something which is called, not the red light district, but the blue light district.

And it's with transvestites. Oh, and Kyle's not here. Yeah, so too bad he's not here. But maybe something for you, Woody. They're very cheap, you know, very beautiful jawline 70

male um well you can pick like literally you walk through the street and you got the blue lights like with windows and you can go i want that one and i want that one together or i just want that one or i want to go with this one but um it's it's like it's funny to walk past there and to see it but i i would never use that. Are those districts like really close to each other where like you could accidentally stumble from one into the other? There should be a purple light district, right? Where you find like women transvestites or something. Post-op.

Yeah, like they've got happy trails and good jaw lines. Oh, you'd be all about that purple district. But you have a district so like when you go into town if you take the wrong alley you're in the middle of the red light district right so you got windows with girls behind it to like knocking on the window going like oh come here you know i like you i like you um another ton of tourists just walking it like it's the boardwalk just like enjoying the atmosphere it's like, they're just looking around. They're like, oh, you know, nice, nice architecture, nice titties over there, right?

But I was walking through it the other day because I had a friend over who's almost never in Amsterdam. And he's like, yeah, I really want to see the red light district. So, you know, as a tour guide here in Amsterdam, like, you're obligated. Right. So i go there um but this is it's it's it's fine to walk through there because it's actually shortcut to go to the closest store and stuff you know um from a certain point but i was walking through there and my friend he's like he's like it so he walks up to your prostitutes and then and she's like oh get here get here get here 50. And he goes, my friend, his name's Jordy. He's really shy, and I'm just walking there.

I'm like, what is this guy doing? I turn around and look at the prostitute. And she opens the door. She leans out of the kind of window, and she goes and just screams, oh, fuck me, Jordy, fuck me, Jordy. There's like 20 people walking around me. It'll just start staring at me I was like oh my God if a fan would see this is that would be this would be like the worst thing to explain That get some good street cred. You asked me twice

She was really pretty but um I actually met a few hold up over there i don't know why aren't we going to amsterdam taylor will you come on a pk adventure to amsterdam you know for the museums and shit right guys around i like yeah well you know for the museums yeah selena 22 just direct messaged me it's so it's such a weird coincidence she's she says uh addicted to the survival videos i know you hated it but do you think that this could happen again maybe with wings wings would not have survived this trip uh i just don't think it would have happened i don't know he would have survived i don't know if he would have made it to our campsite it was uh a hike and we went through some rough shit you purposely picked

it kind of far away to toy with Chiz, didn't you? No, I really didn't. I really didn't. I picked the location because it was unique, I felt like, with those beaver dams on that creek. Everywhere else the creek was literally this wide. That creek would get this wide and this deep.

There's nothing to even... You can't even get water out of that without some trouble. So when I found those beaver dams and there were pools of water that looked significant and then I saw the fish, I was like, oh this is the spot. Like it's not that far from the road, it's not, you know, water and there's gotta be food. And I saw the fish, I assumed there'd be more fish, medium sized ones and it could've gone a lot better but whatever.

I'm so glad it's over i really am i keep i keep i keep like looking at the people that i'm in a room with and being like at least i'm not in this fucking woods at least i'm not there like nothing could be that bad i i didn't mind it so much i have a video i want to watch together i got it from the pka subreddit but it was after we mentioned grinder on the uh-huh on the you guys on grinder two boys no oh check this out it i thought it was a great prank and i think it's real uh are you guys queued up at zero yeah oh let me let me change the big screen sometimes i forget all right ready set play we're here at spring break and there's plenty of guys to mess with, so we're gonna go find

out some of their info, pass it along to Kevin, and he's gonna prank them using the man-on-man dating app Grindr. The guy in blue tank top, his name's Chris, he goes to Baylor, he's in finance, and he plays fullback football. Chris! Chris! Hey, what's up? Chris, from Baylor, right?

You're Chris from Baylor, the finance major? Wow. We've been talking on Grindr, the gay app. The gay app. You played football. I've always wanted to sleep with a football player. Shane? Shane?

Check out this guy. Yes. Hey, from Grindr. I'm Gabriel from Grindr. Gabriel. The gay app for the iPhone. What's going on? It's so good to finally meet you.

Come here. Look at the girl. Get out of that pit, silly. Are you serious right now? Are Come here. Look at the girl. Get out of that pit, silly. Are you serious right now? Are you serious? Look at the guy, he's totally cool. I've been talking to you for over two months. You're telling me all about your senior year

at Mama's College and how you're a big football star there. And you're so interested in going into marketing and God knows what else and blah, blah, blah. And then we make plans to spend spring break together in Panama City and then you're just pretending like we never met. What is your problem? Justin. How's it going?

Justin from Purdue. Oh my God, this is so awesome. Right on. Good to meet you. What's happening? Not much. So, I feel like you're being all distant now. We on. Good to meet you. What's happening? Not much. So, well, come on. I feel like you're being all distant now. We've been talking for months online through my Grindr app.

Yeah, bro. I don't know who you are. We talked about how you're a hunter and that you wanted me to shoot some hot loads with your gun, and I'm pretty sure you weren't talking about your.308, honey. Right on, man. I want you to shoot it down my throat. Don't walk away. Oh, no.

A mouse, a mouse, when the lights are off. Oh. You send me nudes of you. I can't believe this. We watched Top Gun on Skype together and we had laughs and we cried. And you told me about your parents and, you know, their problems and all this stuff. Tonight at like 3 a.m., don't try drunk texting me and saying, I'm sorry, but you ambushed me in front of your friends. I don't want to hear it because guess what?

I'm going to delete you from my phone book and I will never talk to you ever again. This is bullshit. So infuriating god damn it i'm here with ashley you guys didn't like it as much as me that that was great i've already seen it though i thought it was one of the best prank videos on YouTube. There's a part two, if you haven't seen that. I think it's enough. We were all joking.

Your potential boyfriend or friend actually isn't living a double life behind your back. See ya. It's all just like, oh, let him handle it. And then just run away. I don't know what happens afterwards. They come back and ask for permission to use their likeness on YouTube. Yeah, their faces or something.

And then the person signs a release. If they're professional enough, I guess they do. Like, it's just YouTube. Only four and a half million people saw that and now think they're gay. Well, I think that everyone who saw it knows it's a joke. It's the people who were there. As a matter of fact, if anything, putting it on YouTube is the out.

That's how everybody knows that it was fake. Oh, that's a good way to look at it. You're right. Alright, new topic? I don't know if I asked this before, but what misconceptions did you have about sex before you lost your virginity? I thought the vagina was higher Me too

Same here That was the one I had I was like where is it? Where is it? Yeah, even lower? Lower? Oh that's your asshole right? Move up an eighth of an inch, oh there we are Yeah I think I've told this story before.

I was watching, you can't even call it porn. It was like outline drawings on a monochrome green monitor. But it was two people having sex. And you could see the penis going into the bottom of the vagina. It's pretty much at the bottom of where your legs meet and uh uh my friend and i were both like huh that thing's too low and his sister was like that's pretty much where it is because she like was in the room and uh i wanted to like correct her i in my head, I'm like, no. It's not that low. But she's a girl, right?

And it seems like this would be one of her areas of expertise. And I didn't outwardly correct her, but I still doubted her in my heart of hearts. That I knew where the vagina was better than she did. What does she know? Yeah. She's never seen it. She doesn't have one yeah no that's the main one i think that's really really common for a lot of guys because i've heard that before too yeah given that 100 of this show was surprised by that yeah other ones i'm trying to think i think i think

some of the smaller ones right like um you know you assume sex will be like in the pornos and stuff right but it totally isn't um and you expect every girl to be able to to climax right which also you know is not gonna happen and they're not gonna scream and things like that those were those were my biggest you thought you should scream for me they all scream of course naturally totally yeah i i was like am i doing something wrong you know and um it's it's just uh if you if you watch too many movies it's it's a it's a lot different in real life but i think i i got the like the places and stuff correct you know like i knew where to go in and where it was um mainly because yeah and mainly because i've done so much research you know and uh before that plus like i don't know like i don't know how old you guys were but uh i was well prepared i guess so uh i i remember this is uh i wanted to disclose

too much about this story but um i was with this girl you know first time and i told her i had a present for her and um we were just making out and she until like get the present it's in the drawer because it was like her birthday or something and she opens up the the drawer and it's a whole empty drawer and there's just one condom that was it you know that's how i lost my virginity really that's your last year that's a smooth move i was really really smooth uh like i don't know how i did it the girl was probably if i have to rate her right now like at least a seven maybe an eight out of ten um she was really nice back then not like she's weird um she hit me up a while back she's like oh so i see you do youtube i was like yeah okay bye you know she's like another present present a present me she was a bit weird yeah that's another little one I can think of when

you mentioned the condom thing it doesn't have to directly do with sex but like when you heard before you had ever had sex like I always use a condom and then you hear from people like oh just ruins it makes it awful like you just you can't even fathom the thought of like how could it make that bad you know how could it make that bad? You know, how could it ruin that? It's like put a plastic bag over your head and try to kiss someone, you know? Exactly. That's what it feels like.

You do it without and with for the first time, and you're like, oh, my God. I get it. Everybody kind of had a point here. You seriously underestimate how much that affects the whole transaction. But you do get babies and stds i have stds babies the the pros and cons so the everyone talks about the lack of feeling with a condom um this is young me really it to me it was like a pros and cons like with the condom on you don't feel as much in particular like the warmth of it you know it wasn't to me that like i don't know the sensation was just fine

but there was a certain warmth that that's barricaded by the condom on the other hand i lasted longer with a condom on i felt like i could really choose when this thing ended as opposed to a timer just popping you know like like a meat thermometer. Like, pooh! Eloquent imagery. This is not a... Like, without the condom, sometimes it was like, ah! You're out of time. But with the condom, I got to say, like, alright, time's up.

Now I'm ready. And it was always like, oh, you know what? I kind of like the condom because I gained that superpower. Kyle, carry to weigh in. Excuse me? Yeah, Kyle.

Join the conversation. Have you lost your virginity yet? We've talked about this so many times. This is like the eighth time we've talked about losing our virginity. I was like 15 in the backseat of her car trying to... This is not even the topic, but carry on. We're talking about condoms now? I hate condoms of her car trying to this is not even a topic but carry on we're talking about condoms now i hate condoms i was trying to get out of here nobody likes i i nobody likes condoms

no i i don't like condoms even a little bit um they feel terrible uh the kind of lube that i use the wet platinum is uh like silicone based and that dissolves some condoms um so that's always a thing like um without it sounds like a humble brag but if you if you're gonna like have if you're gonna have intercourse for like 30 45 minutes it'll melt the condom in that amount of time like you're sure that's silicone i thought that was like oil or something the petroleum i thought was what did it i'm not sure sure though. I thought silicone was sick. I can't say. I'm just telling you my experiences with my condoms melting in the past using that. And it certainly wasn't

my dick melting them. I wasn't fucking that hard. It was the friction. It was the punch. It was going so far. It melts. That's how you certify it, boys. That's how you guys did it in the woods. I know now. You and Woody going there with the lube in the condoms right easy way to start a fire yeah chis was the fire start chis should have we that's we should have filmed that we should have had chis try to start a fire

but no um i don't know i i i've i've always used condoms when i thought it was a good idea and uh i i've and then other times I haven't used condoms. And I guess that's probably not the advice that I would give to people, but it's kind of what I've done. If I'm with a girl that I know really well, I've been with her before, and I know her situation, I don't, and I just pull out. But yeah, condoms are definitely the way to go

if you don't want to end up with some early pregnancy. You never know when she's not going to be pro-choice. Yeah. I got contracts with girls, so I'm like, you know, you don't want kids? Sign here. Yeah, nothing sets the mood. Yeah. She's like, are you ready? We're all ready. And then I just pull out the contract like, but first, sign this, please.

You go hogging and you come back with a non-disclosure agreement to tell anyone you had sex with me yeah i don't like with condoms the way that they have like a pretend like there'll be like seven different kinds and they have like erotic names to them where it's like oh the the ridged the rocky mountain ridge or whatever and it's like it has little bumps on it or whatever and they all try and pretend that they're doing something distinctly different they're all they all feel the same terrible yeah i i like i actually like the ones with a little uh the studs or little dots on them i think those are cool i like the flavored ones because i figure like if you're gonna if at some point you're gonna put your

mouth on that thing for whatever reason uh might as well taste like a banana or something that's I like the flavored ones because I figure if at some point you're going to put your mouth on that thing for whatever reason, it might as well taste like a banana or something. That's always funny. I'm trying to think what else I want in a condom. My observation is the ribbed ones are pretty much equivalent to the not ribbed ones.

I've never tried the stud ones, so I can't weigh in on that. And flavored condoms? Like getting hit while you have a condom on? That's like eating a well-done filet mignon. What is the fucking point? I know, right? That's not where I would be going with it.

That's only happened once, and it was literally a prostitute. So I think that's kind of a prostitute. It was literally a prostitute. If a woman is sucking your dick and you're wearing a condom, you probably are paying for that. That's a really common trait, apparently, if you're getting head from a whore, is that they'll make you wear a rubber when they blow you.

And who wants that? She's like, is it going to get hard? And I'm just like, I don't think so. I have to use my Superman cock mind skills to imagine something pleasurable. You're a wank bank. I'm trying to ignore the banana smell permeating the room right now. Well, if I can get that stink out of my head.

No, but seriously, I was like, well, let me focus on something that does feel good because what you're doing certainly doesn't, and we'll move to step B. But yeah, getting blown with a condom on is definitely just the worst thing ever. I would much rather masturbate or an auto-blow or really anything in between.

VR plus auto-blow. The only thing worse would maybe be a hand job while you're wearing a condom. She doesn't even want to get her hands dirty. Like, fuck you! You can't even touch it? I feel sorry for this guy. I hear about the comedian, Louis C ck is like talking about his wife giving him a hand job all

begrudgingly and how she's just like i'm just like i would put up with that shit like there's no like i don't care if we got three kids like like like we're co-signed on on a double mortgage i don't care if we own a business together. If I'm so disgusting to you or you've lost so much passion in our love life that you're begrudgingly giving me a handjob, your ass is done. I don't want you in my life, and clearly you don't want me in yours.

I hate Louis C.K.'s comedy so much. I try to get into it like everybody else. Oh, he's the best, right? No, I've seen all those specials. I barely crack a smile. The new ones are pretty a smile the new ones are pretty bad the new ones are not good at all they get better as you go back and when i got all the way back to 2006 i was like i laughed twice maybe three times it there was a there was a time

i don't know if it's two or three specials ago when i thought he was on top of the game when he was the best guy there was at the moment but yeah as far as popularity but he's never made me like crack up the way like any Bill Burr special does I Bill Burr's last one wasn't my favorite it's definitely his it my least favorite of his but he has like three good ones that I have like listened to eat what listen to or watched each of them like multiple, and they're just gold. When he's talking about the dog and the girlfriend and hitting women, and he gets all exasperated and does what he does, and he really brings you along for the ride.

He gets you on his side, and he brings up all that taboo sort of pop culture nonsense. Can you jiggle your mic cord? I hear you, but only halfway. How about now? Perfect. Better. Oh, yeah. So, yeah i love phil burr i i before him i don't know chapelle really cracked me up um uh i i really always like chris rock's whole thing like that the original hbo special the one where he's talked

about the difference between black people and and niggers or whatever he regrets that routine too many people have used it as license to be uh racist yeah i'm sure they have like there's you know on the office you got michael scott trying to like do it word for word like dropping in bombs and stuff he's like whoa whoa you can't tell you can't retell chris rock's routine what are you doing like you're not allowed to do but but yeah i thought that was hilarious um even like guys like Dana Carvey. I like the guy who's always... He's a clean comic, and he talks about food a lot. Jim Gaffigan?

Jim Gaffigan. He talks about the juice at Subway that's left over from the chicken salad. It's like a little chicken salad gazpacho. Yeah. Have it like a cold soup. He's talking about how gross subway is and he talks about like the pizza hut pizza that's got like the hamburgers attached and how retarded all that is i really enjoy him but like louis ck i feel like he's doing this i feel like his routine has

probably been done a bunch of times before he's just all depressed and neurotic and and like 40s dad who's like really the antithesis of a 40s dad he's like overweight and he's lost his hair and his sex appeal and his wife doesn't want to fuck him and his kids are a disappointment and a stressor and he's not happy with anything it's just like all right i'm over it i'm over it i've seen i i remember george costanza like stop ripping george costanza off louis like i don't care anymore. It's not funny. Your impressions in your last thing, I thought they were very poor. He's not

an impressionist. He's not good at that, and he shouldn't try to be. A lot of his bits make me sad. Not in like a, oh man, this is a realization I'm having about a state of the world. Just like, oh, I feel bad for you right now. This is sad. Because it doesn't seem like he's joking as much as he's a state of the world just like oh this i feel bad for you right now this is sad of like because it doesn't seem like he's joking as much as he's just relaying the disappointments in his life to you

on stage christopher titus talks about him him being abused as a child and his and his alcoholic awful father who like never would show him love or compassion but it's hilarious you don't feel sorry for him you see that he was molded by the the horror of his childhood and the and the awful like upbringing he had he's been molded by it made a brought up by it literally made a better person and he makes you laugh the whole way comedians i'm not in love with joe rogan i i think joe rogan is the most amazing play-by-play and not just ufc and and not just mma like i think he's better than everybody else in every sport i really like the work that he does um i think he does a good podcast i think that's pretty cool i think his comedy career is probably the one that's most important to him if i gauge that right but uh it's the one that I'm least interested in his comedy's just not my

I agree with you there I really like his whole bit about um you know how we've got this monkey brain stuff still in us and that's why we climb these mountains and do this stupid shit and he goes into the whole thing um about having the about killing the bug and how he's like I got a can of something with your face on it that I'll spray until it's light and uh he's talking about i liked it i like his comedy um we had to i've only heard his one special um but i liked it okay i laughed at it i'm trying to think who i've watched lately you know who's really good but he's dead now is uh patrice o'neill uh is it is it working it's dark though it's coming back it's dark it takes like a couple minutes i saw him do a lot of those comedy central roasts he was he was he was quick and smart and funny yeah i guess he was okay i just did you watch his special elephant in the room it's yeah

that sounds like right before he died yeah he's good that guy he's like newer he's an snl writer john mulaney he has one on netflix that's really funny other comedians seem to like patrice o'neill more than i did well he's dead he was on the opie and anthony show a ton and i thought he was hilarious on there so that's when i like found out about him and started watching his stand-up um who's that black guy uh who uh was was was going after bill cosby in his stand-up routine long before us animal burris is very good he's got a real he's got a really interesting delivery and he talks real slow and playing in it but it's funny i really like his delivery i like when they when they sound a little different i like getting something different from the comedian that kind of grabs my attention

and bill burr is the different that i like so much i the mitch hedberg and before him was it steven right um yeah like that that stuff's okay but it's not i get bored i love it i love it i i it's different though now i like it for two minutes hedgeberg to different, though. I wouldn't compare Mitch Hedgeberg to Hannibal Buress, because Mitch does that thing where it's lots of one-liner type things and set up and punchline, set up and punchline. There's a lot of rapid fire. Stephen Wright did that, too. Yeah, yeah.

Well, Hannibal Buress is more of a traditional comedian. He tells stories and expresses opinions. Okay, well. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be i thought you were talking to me specifically about i think i think i've seen his special okay um i just don't think they're it's a good comparison to make between the two of them because one's a deadpan delivery and the other is just sort of uh um i don't know monotonous sort of

thing that he always does where he doesn't get too excited or raise his voice yeah my my preference is for the opposite. I think Bill Burr captivates me. And a lot of times... One, I'm having really high highs and getting animated and excited. Yeah, that energy that he brings is amazing. I think when I see Bill Burr getting interviewed by Jimmy Fallon or something,

I'm like, aha, he's going to say something cool. There's going to be... Sometimes if I tell a Bill Burr joke, it won't be nearly as funny because Bill Burr delivers it amazingly. And that's a cool thing. Yeah, yeah. There's no faster way to get yourself in trouble

than trying to reiterate to your girlfriend why it was so funny when Bill Burr was talking about Tiger Woods and all of his girlfriends. Ha, ha, ha. She'll never let that one go. Ha, ha, ha. Bill Burr, man. Like, he's... What's happened to you he's anti-woman a lot and uh never let that shit go no he's he's just pro-reality like he's not anti-woman

yeah not i don't think he is at all he just kind of like hits the side of reality that nobody ever wants to touch i see that someone will cry foul but that's true it did seem though like especially right before he got married there was a long string of material that came from that like like it being okay to hit women um i can't remember at all. Yeah, but that's because it's a comedy act. Oh, yeah, I'm not saying that. He's putting on a show, right? I'm not saying I know who he is personally.

Yeah, you never know. I mean, Bill Cosby was talking about Jell-O and Puddin' Pops, and he was the one really fucking women were from. Bill Cosby, he called, I feel like at the time, he was calling Eddie Murphy saying, your stuff is too foul. He literally did it. Yeah, yeah.

You've got to stop using bad language. And Eddie Murphy's like, have a pudding pop and shut the fuck up or something like that. And now you realize, uh-oh, he was berating Eddie Murphy for using bad words. At the same time, he's getting women with quaaludes to fuck him while they're drugs. Yeah. And, like, I don't know. I heard this lady describing, like, her sexual assault on the Stern show the other day. And, like, him, like, face-fucking her in a room after he, like, locks the door behind him and stuff.

And, like, I can't wait for the civil suit. The first civil suit's going to be going through by the by the end of the year i think they're going to take all of his fucking money they're going to run his name through the dirt by the time it's over he'll have nothing and i'm so excited for him to lose that put and pop money to these 50 women that he's uh i feel like it's too late for him to lose at life right bill cosby's to die in a few years. He's 70-something, right? Yeah, he's so old. I hope this kills him.

He's 70-something and he's black. And that sounds racist, but the statistics are they don't live as long. It's true. So go on. When they're worth a few million, maybe that helps. I'm sure he's been having regular checkups. Healthcare. I wouldn't know.

Yeah, I just know that their their stats are bad so um maybe you're right maybe i'm sure rich people live longer so he's got that sticking in there yeah yeah um yeah maybe it maybe it's not a black thing maybe it's a wealth thing but i read it as a black thing i thought it was uh it had something to do with diet and culture and stuff anyway um he's not gonna live that much longer it reminds me of the guy in game of thrones who's the guy who has like 19 sons and he's like 70 some years old he's outlasted all these other people he he owned the bridge that they needed to get by fray yeah well walter fray yeah i feel like you could kill walter fray today and he's still been king

for like 70 years. He's had an amazing life. He fucks everything he wants to. He's got his 19 sons. It's like you can't hurt him anymore. He dies today. He still lived a better life than whoever killed him.

You can't hurt him as a person bill cosby but his entire legacy of being that like hoop dee doop dee do kind of guy like now people are like oh wow who thought about this guy actually being a gigantic piece of shit i want his legacy to be ruined i want his family to be shamed i want his bank accounts to be empty his family his wife should be shamed too for standing by him through this bullshit when she has to have known. You don't rape 50 women

that have come forward. 50 have come forward. Without her knowing that you're a woman raper. Like, I have a hard... Like, it's... It'd be hard enough to fuck 50 women that wanted you to fuck them and not have your wife know about it.

Think about it. Now you gotta go out and, like, get drugs and be coercing and, like your wife know about it. Think about it. Now you gotta go out and get drugs and be coercing and spending these nights away doing your rape shit. So fuck her too. I never thought of Bill Cosby as the Dexter of

rape. The Dexter of rape. Absolutely. Absolutely he was. So fuck him and his Puddin' Pop Eatin' Ass. They're gonna do what I just described. There's gonna be civil suits where they take his money. There may be criminal suits where they put him in jail. And I hope both happens.

I hope he dies penniless and in jail. They're not gonna put him in jail, dude. He's 78. He's got at least another 10 years in him, I'd say. Yeah, absolutely. Not with this going down. He's gonna have a heart attack. Oh, that's the hope, right? They get him like Joe Paterno, right? They put him in that awful stressful situation,

take away everything he loves, and then he just falls apart and dies. Yeah, his life is basically over, and his legacy is tarnished, which probably hurts him more thinking about even than knowing he's going to die soon. Knowing that no one will watch the Cosby show anymore and be like, hey, look at this happy-go-lucky family.

It's like, hey, look at this happy go lucky family it's like hey look at this family and that miserable rapist that no one will find about for another three decades I I I'm so I I I really don't like that I I never liked Bill Cosby to begin with so like he's an easy target when I hear this I'm like yeah good fuck him

it's like he's never been funny his shit wasn't funny his comedy stand up comedy wasn't all that funny. His show was lame. Maybe it was a new thing at the time, but it's so lame. I watched that show growing up. I didn't think it was funny. I certainly didn't think it was realistic.

I guess it's a great... It was a shining example for African-Americans, I feel like. But I feel... That's what I hope. I hope some African-American leader comes to him and says that you've brought shame to your race and your people and all the good you've done and tried to do throughout your life is being

taken away now. I want that for Bill Cosby for all those awful things he did. I used to like Bill Cosby. No, because then people would just apply what he did and connect it to him being black instead of just being like what he is. Like, oh, this piece of shit person. You wouldn't go say have a famous comedian go up and be like, we robbed you of your

comedic medallions and shame on our name like because he didn't doesn't apply to anything but the fact that he's a rapist bill cosby don't drag other groups into it he there was a time when bill cosby was all about improving his community and no one knew he was a rapist. And at that time, I did like Bill Cosby. I liked the message that he gave. It's not true anymore, but say like 10, 15 years ago in the black community, Chris Rock used to do a routine where he was like, people just love not knowing shit, right? I don't know that. I don't know that. I felt like when I was in high school, that was true. That struck a chord with me. It was like, yeah, I know a lot of people who are really proud of their ignorance. And Bill Cosby was like, no, that's not okay.

You need to be proud of your education. You need to be proud of your accomplishments. You need to do this. You need to do that. Bill Cosby would speak out about dads not sticking around in the black community. And he's like, we need to change this culture. If you're a dad that just leaves your baby mama, then it shouldn't just be like, yeah, that's what you do. Like that guy should be ostracized.

People should be like, you are not the person that I wouldn't expect you to be. And that's, I don't know. Bill Cosby did a lot of preaching for good. It turns out he's not such a good guy. What a hypocrite. That's good to know. I think a lot of these preachers who these televangelists who rob people blind do that sort of thing too yes i don't

i i got no i got no way of knowing that like all of his uh bullshit wasn't just another end for him to like make sure that his name was uh was so high and mighty that that no one would believe in these rapes like maybe if i do a little more good i could rape a few more white bitches like like i feel like he was just all about that rape game he's been raping people for for decades but was he doing it when he was 60 something i feel like that's yeah yeah he's been doing it since he was a fucking huxtable i love when they play that clip of the cosby show and it's like him talking about his rib sauce, his barbecue sauce or whatever. He's like, hadn't you, he's talking to his wife, he's like, hadn't

you noticed when people try my sauce, they always get along a little better and then they all want to go home and get to bed. Yeah, I got a special ingredient in my sauce. Matter of fact, I got a whole jar upstairs in the bedroom.

It's just like like he's totally talking about some like drugged barbecue sauce that he's got that like that like makes people like this is an episode of the cosby show like this really happened yeah it happened like they played it a bunch on reddit like and they like slow it down yeah this is like evil cosby and yeah like you look and everybody's like enjoying his sauce a lot and it's like yeah he's got quaaludes in there he's gonna get you fucked up and come on your face i'm glad that that all came out and hannibal burris had been calling him out for that shit for like years and years and no everybody always wanted to be like no that's not true don't believe those crazy women it's bill

cosby that's a weird thing hannibal burris had been calling him out for years and then suddenly it got traction like whatever it was like 18 months ago all of a sudden everyone was like hey what's hannibal trying to tell us about bill a lot of stuff came out i think i think all of a sudden you started having these women pop up and say, yeah, he did this to me, he did that to me, and more and more and more, and then it was a domino effect where you had women that you're like, ah, that one's lying, but those other 30 are probably

telling the truth. The whole thing's been interesting to watch from the outside. Howard Stern played that game on the air the other day where you had to guess which number was higher, which one of these groups is higher, the number of Cosby accusers or countries in Africa, which are there more of? And they played that game for a while.

It was pretty funny. There are 49 Cosby accusers in like 54 countries in Africa, I think maybe. I wasn't really sure. Yeah, I would have gone for the Cosby. Right? You'd have been wrong. You should have gotten five. You should get five

more or six. Fifty people accuse you of something and they're like first hand like yeah he did this to me. Not like yeah he did that. Well did you see it? No but I heard he did. No it's fifty people saying yeah he did this thing to me. I believe them. Like at some

ten maybe I still stand behind Bill. At twenty I'm like oh is it looking good but when you get to 50 i'm like yeah bill you're a rapist you're a rapist i have a question for jordy totally different topic have you found that since you're a youtube superstar celebrity guy that a lot of people try to leverage your success and become their own fake friends yeah yeah i noticed um like the pretty funny one is with my mom she she's still my mom of course i don't see my dad free riding but uh like my mom she took care of me and stuff so so but but still like um she's always like uh oh uh can't you take can't you take me to this premiere, you know,

of this movie and things like that. So it starts with those little small things, of course. It doesn't get worse with my mom. She's sometimes like, well, you might want to pay me because I did some stuff for your business, right? I'm like, well, okay. So, because Dutch people are really greedy. It's culture, it's culture.

Like, that's why I'm so cautious with my money. Am I allowed to say that now? Or is that somehow like... No, no, no. Dutch people are greedy. The Dutch are a greedy bunch. So when we go out for dinner and I pay for dinner, for example,

everybody's like, what the fuck are you doing? We're supposed to pay for ourselves. We're supposed to be greedy. But I've had a lot of people uh approach me and you know like people from high school and and and the funniest experience was one of the one of the funniest one uh ones was um when i was on i was on like a talk show the biggest talk show in the country uh late night talk show and um and the next day

all of a sudden i have like six or seven different girls i used to next day all of a sudden have like six or seven different girls I used to know who all of a sudden started a conversation shit list Dutch people Dutch people I have a list of people and what they did. What did you do to strike down? I see you've already crossed him out being greedy Strike down betrayed me in survival games and then paid me $10 and got off the list. I didn't even know that was for sale. And then it starts popping up. Like, I've got this big audio clip when I live stream.

He's like, I'm so sorry. Here's $10. I didn't know that that was bad. And I'm like, I didn't even know you could buy your way off this list. But you already gave me $10. So I'll cross that out for you. So you have a shit list. Is that...

I have a shit list. What does it do? Why am I on the shit list? Just Dutch people in general are on... Dutch people are on the shit list for being greedy. Oh, okay. Being greedy. Okay, but that's like a fact.

Yeah. You can say Dutch people are greedy and nobody will get mad. They'll be like, yeah, fair enough. But about the question you asked, I had six or seven girls message me on Facebook and they're like, all of a sudden, they want to be my friends. And as a 19, 18-year-old kid, I'm like,

fuck yeah, I'm going to get some free pussy. But it doesn't work that way, right? They just want to hang out with you. They just want to ride on the wave of you going to parties and things. No, don't worry. Don't worry. I'm 20 now. You figured it out.

You got it. Yeah, of course. Give me a few attempts. But not all girls. Kyle's like, let me take you under my wing, young man. I'll teach you the ways of gay life. I get worse when they just want to hang out because it's like it's like i'm not trying to be an asshole but like i just showed up to my hotel

room at night with like a big bottle of liquor and some mixer and like a and you're like you know and your boobs are hanging out like you really didn't want to fuck like yeah just to make clear these aren't fans these are girls like I've met before. And we might have had some interaction. But it starts with those type of girls, for example. But then you also have friends, right? Then all of a sudden, they come up to you and they're like, Yay, so I also started a YouTube channel. How about we do a collab?

I got 20 subscribers now right or my my I never had an issue with that like onslaught for example didn't have a YouTube channel and then when he made one it was like yeah you know knock yourself out the the thing that I never liked though was when they're like yeah you know I want to do this thing I've made one video I you know I made four videos it's like no dude you know if you want to do this thing i've made one video i you know i made four videos it's like no dude you know if you want to do this you've got to actually put the work in yeah of course so so what i tend to tell people is um do one video every single day for the next two months that's when we'll talk again you know like that's when we'll we'll see if you're really into it

that's what i used to say back in the day uh now it's more like you know you're just surrounded by loads of other people and you can you can work with them um but i still mainly think it's it's more about fun right like i i like i like i was invited for this show i do it for the fun you know just just to have a laugh now i can say four hours in the next week because i don't have to watch the show uh myself right because i've been in it um but it's not like oh i'm going in here because i want to get those whatever uh 200 extra subs um yeah you're going viral every video it seems yeah yeah you know like it's it's more of a more of a fun experience and that's like how the same way I feel if I work together with someone.

If I work together with a girl in a video, like I don't want to promote her Instagram or something. I want to do it because I feel like I can make a fun video out of it. And it goes both ways. If I'm doing a video with a friend of mine, it's because, you know, we can make something fun out of it. Not to promote his YouTube channel, like as the main goal of the video. It's like a fair collab, you could say. Yeah, yeah. I remember Hutch a long time ago talked about how people would, like, I don't know, cozy up to him in-game.

And then, you know, by the next game, they're asking for collabs. And he said, like, and then I just instantly write those people off. Like, you know, the next game they're asking for collabs and he said like and then i just instantly write those people off like you know i he didn't like them and in my heart i was like oh why would you do such a thing you know like you have zeus's lightning bolt you can do any you know make all these people famous and you don't choose to but now that i'm a grizzled veteran like he was at the time and still is uh it's like, oh, I understand where you're coming from. Yeah, I had the exact same thing. I was like, why isn't PewDiePie giving me a shout-out, you know?

And then I realized I have to work, and then, you know, someday I'll make a video with him. Maybe. Well, I already did. Oh, did you? Well, good for you. Do you want me to hook you up with a collab too? No. No. I do, although Well, good for you. Do you want me to hook you up with a collab too? No.

No. I do, although this is not about you. I think I'm going to make videos again. Yeah, I heard. The Call of Duty, the new one. I played Black Ops 3, but I played it, and after an hour of playing at Gamescom, this was the gaming convention, I was like, I don't want to play Call of Duty anymore. I played it a lot and I'll go and play zombies though.

Like zombies is my thing now. Yeah, I don't know. I've got a bit of an itch to make videos. That's what it is for me. So, and again, I don't know. It's not my major form of income, which is kind of a neat place to be. I will make the videos that I feel like making oh I want to do a quick thing I'm doing a day in the life today and I feel like this is part of it

so real quick all right it is now about 1 a.m. and these are the guys I'm making painkiller already this is my OBS and it just feels like it wouldn't be a complete day in the life if if I didn't include the fact that we were recording this thing we're almost wrapping up but yeah this is probably the the last stage of my day in the life for Thursday. Been a big day. All right. I wanted that footage. Also, I just wanted to address one more thing.

Like, I think in two PKIs back, you said it's, like, really easy for YouTubers that do Let's Plays. Oh, go ahead, go ahead. youtubers that do let's plays um oh okay go ahead uh but um like i wasn't sure if you meant like the guys that really press play and then play a game for an hour and then upload that full hour to youtube in like three parts or do you mean like someone who would press play like what i do then record half an hour edited into 10 minutes or five minutes and then then use that so i guess i was really talking about that first group like there are some people who do a let's play who like you know i don't know let's say game takes 10 hours to beat in 10 hours they get like i'm making up a number 100 videos or something like that and that compared to what i did like it would take me roughly i'd get a gameplay

an hour that I thought was good enough for YouTube and then I would spend hours just sort of like being current on things to talk about you know why I think Google's doing what they're doing as being an ISP what I think about this topic or that topic or I don't know I just try and add the mail Monday you know going through all I would spend two hours just going through hundreds of letters trying to pick ones to pick ones that were, I looked for a couple of things. I usually tried to get one that helped a lot of people. I'd usually try to get one that would help the title. You know, like there was one guy who had bloody ejaculate and while I don't think it's a beautiful title. Yeah. I don't think it's a, I don't think it's a common problem. I was like, that one will suck

you in on the title. And, uh, and then, and uh and you know like so and maybe one that was entertaining or something and lump them together i felt like that process was a lot more work per video than maybe someone who just played it from like yeah yeah like lollipop chainsaw do i have the name right of that game or whatever walking dead and they just do like a walkthrough that's easy um what you're doing i don't know how that compares to what Uh, you know, like I see people, they take a lot and they edit it together into something that's good. Uh, one thing about what you do is I feel like it's just not a job for everybody. Like if I were to try to carry your kind of videos by myself, I don't think my energy and vibe is right. You know, it's a, it's, it's really hard to scream for like an half an hour or like an hour.

And, and, you know, you need to stay in your role. Cause like compared the PKA to my videos, I'm not going to be really energetic the whole time. You have to pace it out. But in the videos, it's constantly screaming, yelling, shouting, you know, not really overreacting, but expressing your feelings a bit more than you would usually do. Yeah.

It's not for everybody. No, no. The vibe I get from you is that your videos might be you times two. Whereas if I were to do that same thing, it'd be me times 10. And that comes off as insincere and fake. Yeah, of course. That's why when I do Let's Plays or stuff like that, it helps me a lot to have other people in the room,

someone to play off of. But, um, do one video like that just to see how many people would hate it. Play a horror game. I played a horror. I played, um,

Slenderman once. This is a long time ago. And, uh, the, the thinking behind it was that I was going to show people how a man played. I wasn't going to do fake reactions and all that nonsense that I saw so many times and the truth is it actually scared me there were like moments in that like I didn't know that

the audio would be that effective I wasn't crying or anything but I was like genuinely like there were jumps and there was trouble for me and at one time I know I've talked about this before the the cable on my headset like just brushed my I was playing in boxers it just brushed my thigh in like a really spooky way and then like it uh it got the best of me and in the end it was like all right so the guy's crying and wondering how they got into this horrible place in their life are clearly fakers uh it is a scary game i uh i played a horror game with the oculus rift which is really scary because you can't look away because when you look away you're still in it, right? So normally when you play a horror game, you can close your eyes or look away

But here you close your eyes you open your eyes You're still in the fucking horror game or you're like god I can't look and you look to the left and you're still guy over there, but it legit freaked me out and and Like I was like, I'm it can't be that scary. I might throw in one or two little fake, maybe I'll jump and see what happens. But I was legit scared. I came out of the thing.

It felt like I had to puke and I just went to bed because it was terrible. But it was with the Oculus Rift on. No, you're really selling it. Yeah. So two grand, right? That'll get me started. Two grand for a trip to Amsterdam.

I'll give you a free Oculus Rift and a prostitute transvestite for Woody. I don't know if you can beat that. On a similar vein, I had Colin play Slenderman and I actually filmed it. But then we live streamed the end of it and I felt like it was kind of redundant given that I already live stream I actually filmed it. But then we live streamed the end of it. And I felt like it was kind of redundant given that I already live streamed part of it.

But just him being genuine. I thought that was funny because he really got scared. He died once. He'd be like, you want to play? You want to play? And I'm like, no, you keep going. You can do this. But clearly what he's really saying is, I'm scared. Rescue

me. Wasn't interested. Call it a show? I think so. That was fun. Yes. Yes. Thank you so much for coming on.

Check out Dollar Shave Club and our friend Jordy. Links in the descriptions. Yeah. And thank you so much for coming on. Yeah. Thanks for having me. And check out those survival videos. Yes. They're actually pretty good coming on. Yeah, thanks for having me. Check out those survival videos. Yes, they're actually pretty good. Yeah.

I'm going to check out Selena22. Hard to compete with that.