Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #248

Episode Date: September 25, 2015

This week on PKA, the guys review the recent GOP debates, Taylor tells a story about a bathroom bandit and apparently Kyle hit a teacher back in the day.

We're live. Painkiller Already, episode 248. This episode of Painkiller Already is being brought to you by our friends at Casper. Yes, Casper.com, where you can get amazing, comfortable mattresses shipped straight to your door for far less than the average mattress price. Yes, this is the way that people buy mattresses nowadays. You get them online, they show up like vacuum sealed. You open them, it's a goddamn magic trick, and you're happy as hell. Use Casperper you'll be

happy i'm about to buy a mattress and uh if casper doesn't hook me up somehow i i'll uh i'll get it through casper uh uh anyway probably i like the idea of it showing up yeah i want to get a big did i want to get i definitely get a king this time for some reason i've always had a queen and i just never made the change to king. It just never occurred to me. I literally want... Recently, I've been thinking about it and I'm like, yeah, I want a king-sized bed. I definitely do.

You should get a California king. Those gigantic ones that are as wide as they are long. A California king is a little longer and not quite as wide. Oh, really? I saw a megabed on Reddit that was a king plus a little longer and not quite as wide oh really i saw a mega bed on reddit that was a king plus a full because the full is the same length as the king and they were side by side so you had

an 11 foot wide mega bed and that's the direction that i want to head and you say what the fuck right like it was the whole room it was wall-to-wall bed thing is, it's not uncommon for it to be Jackie, me, and two Great Danes. And something about Great Danes with their huge long legs have a way of taking up, like, a maximum amount of space. And even in a California King, I'll have, like, a sliver on the side. And it's just, you know, I'm like, and it's a fight. Get the dogs their own twin for the other side of your giant room. Or get one of those shack beds that looks like the Woody's Gamer Tag logo instead of the heart. Those dogs.

Does the poor thing have... Yes! Still! The breeder said it could be a year. The breeder said that he could... I don't know. You've already got the dog and everything, so I'll just leave it there. It's a shame that your dog won't be whole for a year.

God damn. I think they fucked up its ears after you told them. I think I remember it was like this. They were like, no, Woody, this dog's ears are a little small already. We shouldn't dock them. And Woody was like, no, god damn it. I'm getting a legit dog. I want purebred. I want it done right.

And they fucked up a little, hit a vein. And so now he's got to be in this, like, ear traction for the next year. Jesus. Do they snip those dogs' ears to make it look better? So it's called cropping. And if you show your dog, then I guess it's growing out of fashion. But there was a time when a dog couldn't compete in a show unless his ears stuck up.

You know when German Shepherds stuck up ears? That's the result of a surgery and then propping them in place with a cast for a while. Even on German Shepherd? I think so, although you make me doubt myself now. I thought they just looked like that. So why would you want that done for a dog that's not going to be in a show? So like the Doberman Pinscher for example, they're supposed to have docked ears. You know in the movies they're like straight up or anytime you see one

maybe you've seen them the ears like straight up and really aggressive looking. That's what they want the breed to look like. It also has a docked tail. That's part of the breed as well. Like you ever see it if you see this dog's those little nubs of tails and straight up ears like that's not natural. We just decided it would look better if we cut some pieces of it off Yeah, we just got lazy with evolution We took wolves made them into these wildly different piece of shit animals that can't breathe well And then we got impatient. We're like this is gonna take so long Stand up to just just just cut it just circumcise that boy's ears i'm not sure a quick google search

says with german shepherds that that's the result of cropping well with great danes is definitely the result of cropping and our dog like we we got a dog that was like show ready and everything because we had some bad luck with the health of our first two great danes jack died at five and harley has like a droopy eye, which is a normal defect in these things. So we're like, all right, this time we're going to check like the parents health records. And we've often wondered why this woman's selling the dog because she shows them and Ender seems like a particularly good like representative of the breed. We think she might have been like, I'll sell this one because his ears are fucked up.

We think that like we're just guessing that that could be a reason why she decided to not to keep and show ender because his ears are all bad wow and so did you do that to the dog you had its ears straightened and it just hacked off a little too much no that's the story that kyle tells i can't tell if you're joking or not, but the truth is we don't like dropping dogs ears but the his ears were already cropped and One of the reasons we liked him did it himself With an electric saw Kitchen she I wanted a dog and Jackie wanted a puppy and this one was somewhere in between at like three or four months old

So no one wins he was like three months old or four months old or something like that and uh i i think jackie thinks that uh you know the crop just wasn't taking and she decided to sell the dog so he's great in a lot of ways but i think his ears are always going to be like ones fucked up or pointed sideways or something you should just cut them off you should just just cut them off and... Have you ever seen a dog with no ears? I bet he would look horrifying. That giant dog with just holes

in his ears and you'd have to get like an ear patch to go over him so the rain and stuff wouldn't get in and bugs and shit. What a freak of a dog that would be. Do that. Just take him off, man. Take him off. This horrible Freddy Krueger silhouette of just... Add a silhouette. Add a horn.

Add a horn while you're at it to that monster. God damn. Alright, so debates first. You want to talk about the debate? Sure. Now I watched the entire debate start to finish. I was driving back from the airport and I was talking to my passenger a little bit, so I didn't catch all of the debate.

But I definitely got the first hour and a good bit of the second hour. I don't think I got much of the third hour long i saw online that it was way too long online they called it five hours i thought it was three maybe they were including the jv debates yeah i either can either that or like the uh the spin zone afterwards and the bullshit before like but there was three hours of it didn't end on time at 11 it might have been three and a half uh it i'm not surprised it's like 50 people up there like they need to cut like i had no problem with what how donald trump opened things up he's like and first of all uh who was it grandpa right yeah i don't even know what ran paul's doing here who let him in this guy's less than 1% there's too many of us up on

stage already and like Rand Paul's like like goes off with some bullshit and then like gives him shit about being juvenile and pointing out people's physical flaws he's like hey I've never said anything about your physical appearance and believe me there's a lot to work with like Rand Paul goes I don't know if you can be president all these juvenile uh juvenile attacks soft middle school entertaining yeah yeah and and trump goes you ugly little shit just double down every time trump was down uh he hates every other person up there because trump had had criticized jeb bush um jeb bush's wife is mexican-american and he criticized bush based on that maybe that's why he's so

he's not as anti-mexican as i am or something like that and he's and jeb bush is like you should have said that that was inappropriate to bring my wife into this apologize to her she's right there you should apologize he's like no I won't apologize to her. I didn't say anything wrong. And just keeps Charlie Fiorino and she brings up him making fun of her face. And that lady is a horse. A horse, of course.

Like John Kerry's twin sister. It's awful. And I'm not saying that in any way invalidates her as a leader. I think her failures at Hewlett-Packard that Trump pointed out to, though. She seemed way too rehearsed. She seemed like she had these pre-May talking points. She was like, I think we can compare Iran and this abortion issue in the same breath.

Because defending against iran is about defending the uh the safety of this country and uh going after this abortion thing is about defending the character of this country and it was like oh who fucking like bottled that up for you and served it like i don't want that bullshit that my so watching the debate i watched it around we had a we have a fire pit outside so chis jackie me and colin we're all watching the debate, I watched it. We had a fire pit outside. So Chiz, Jackie, me, and Colin, we're all watching the debates by the fire outside. What did you say? What TV do you have out there? What TV you said?

We have Wi-Fi, so we watch it on Chiz's MacBook Pro. Oh. 15 inches. It wasn't bad. So anyway, so I lost my train of thought. Watching my time with the whole fam oh if there was one takeaway we universally agreed upon it was that we fucking hate carly farina every time she opened her mouth everybody was groaning we were hating her every time she wouldn't shut the fuck up like she'd have 30 seconds to reply and that woman

would triple and quadruple it constantly i she she did a great job though i'll be honest she did a great job she she was more prepared she sounded more presidential than anybody else on that stage i don't agree with anything she said though she was like she was like the problem is we don't have big enough military i want to i want to hammer so fucking big I can crack the earth with it. Dude, and then in one sentence. 50 naval vessels and 35 marine battalions. And I'm just like, what are you, Starship Troopers? Are we going to Nebula to invade?

Dude, who are you? She's talking about the deficit and the spending in one sentence. And then she wants to go military crazy in another sentence and everything she said made everybody so angry in my little circle we all hated her and and like i'm not saying it but i'm thinking to myself oh my god shut your fucking cock holster if 10 more words come out of that mouth i'm gonna go ballistic and she just kept going and going and going and uh then i today i read some analysis on the debates like you know who won right who won like give me the what are people saying about it carly farina the experts oh go on why don't why don't we give our own

opinions of who won before we talk about the experts because i don't know i watched the debate yeah i like that all, so I think that... All right, so first I want to talk about the 1% candidates, you know, those left-behind guys like Cruz and Christie. Santorum. Santorum. I was even on the main stage. I didn't think he was.

Kucinich. All right, so I think Kucinich didn't do well. You're thinking of Kasich. Kucinich is a Democrat. Thanks. He's got an awful name. That's part of your problem, Mr. K. That's part of your problem right there is name recognition. I still

don't know what two or three debates in. Alright, so he didn't do very well, but I thought Chris Christie was strong. I thought Ted Cruz was strong. Marco Rubio was strong. But Jeb Bush, I felt like he was just kind of lukewarm, better than before.

I definitely think he was one of the winners coming out of this debate. He definitely didn't go down. If anything, he went up a little. I don't think Trump's going to be affected by this because he doesn't get affected by anything. I think it was just as much of a negative as it was a positive. It was a wash for Trump, I think. But I think Carly Fiorino, despite what we all just said about her, is going to get the most gains out of this thing. And I

think in that way, she is the winner. I don't think she won the debate, but I think if there's any candidate that's really going to see a surge out of this, and not just a Donald Trump surge or anything, but she's polling at what, like 1% or 2 or four percent now she could bump up to 17 after this she could she could overtake jeb bush after this performance i think we'll see what the polls say but i think she did very well and she sounded like she knew what she was talking about and she and she would point it out she's like you guys are just saying this this and that here's what i'm saying day one first thing i do is this you know she knows what she's doing the first phone call she's making uh how she's gonna shift the geopolitical climate just how everything was like she had a teleprompter right in front of her i think chris christie got a ton of points

when like what's his name trump and the lady carly were bickering about who was the less bad ceo of like you you know, oh, I made this much money, and we grew. HP grew. When everybody knows, you can Google it, HP tanked under her. That was the whole reason they fired her. At least Trump still has a business. And then Chris Christie jumps in with like the,

you too, you're a sophomoric bickering, talking, look at your pride. And it's like you big fat fuck trying to edge your way in here, make yourself like the hero. But I think a lot of people are going to buy that. I don't think so. I feel like Carly immediately put that little fire out. She was like, I think our backgrounds are very important. We talked about your background forever, Chris.

We went on and on about how you were the prosecutor after 9-11. She didn't say that verbatim, but that's what I'm thinking. I'm like, I have heard so many times about how you were the prosecutor after 9-11. Like, she didn't say that verbatim, but, like, that's what I'm thinking. I'm like, I have heard so many times about how you were the federal prosecutor post-9-11. Like, what does that even fucking mean? Yeah, did we not prosecute anyone, Dewey? Was it the big thing that nothing went to trial? If you're the guy that was in charge of that,

then you did a real shitty job because I don't feel any vindication there. I don't feel like we got enough people. Bad job, Chris. You know what I think of the prosecution after 9-11? Me learning new fucking Latin. Habeas corpus? What is that? That's the right to a speedy trial? I didn't know that shit

until we didn't prosecute anyone. Let me make sure that someone's going to correct me on that. Did you notice that one guy on the far right of the debate? I don't even know what his fucking name is. The old guy who didn't get to talk for like the first hour. He has a really nondiscreet...

No, no, on the far right looking at the stage closer to Trump than them. Right next to the lady. And Scott Walker? Because Scott Walker got the least amount of time. Might have been that guy. I have no idea. But I know his name wasn't familiar. But finally they came to him after like an hour to ask him some petty little question about like, how do you respond to what Trump you've been invoked in discussion? And the guy's like, you know, I could respond to that. But honestly, I haven't talked at all. So I'm just going to say I'm for this country. And I'm happy. I think we need to get everybody back to work. And and just he for a minute just said all of his little talking points and then said thank you real quick.

Like didn't respond to anything. Just tried to edge his. He's the guy who looked like he'd be one of the minor house leaders riding behind Rob Stark in like season two. Like Lord Underwood or something. I can't think of who you're thinking of. It could have been Kasich. Kasich might be it. Lord Kasich. One part I found particularly

interesting. So, winners and losers. Who do you thought? It was Kasich. Do you want to go first, Taylor? Winners and losers? Winners? Trump. Even though I didn't agree with anything the hyper-conservative lady said, she did a good job responding.

And then Chris Christie and I think Rubio. They all seem to do pretty well. Losers would be Huckabee and Kasich. They looked like blithering idiots who couldn't even compete. And I can't even listen to Mike Huckabee without staring at his neck the whole time, like slowly enveloping the top part of his collar as he looks down and around. He has got to loosen that neck, huh? So let's see.

My big winners. You wanted to do that just to watch it jiggle. Arranger statements from Mr. Trump. I actually liked Casey. I noticed a lot of them were talking about non-serious stuff. They didn't have any policy things. Like Trump's up there talking about whether Jeb has energy and whether this guy or that guy is good looking. That's how it works though.

First do a personal part. Every time Kasich spoke, he spoke about things he believes in and what he would do as president. And that resonated with me. So I liked Kasich a lot. I thought Chris Christie had a couple of good lines in there and, you know, stuff like solar. I've known about that. Look, New Jersey is the third largest like solar producer in the nation, right? The top ones are like Arizona and California, which makes sense. They have so much sun. They're in the desert. And Jersey's third. How does Jersey come out of fucking nowhere and get third it's

government policy right he's encouraging solar to go up everywhere my in-laws have solar on their roof and it's just because you know they're encouraging it making it happen and that to me was a valid point um so i thought casey did really well ask him that landfill what about range paul what do you think about him i didn't think he did well. Rand Paul would occasionally take a shot at someone, but if you want to succeed in a presidential debate and you're a nobody, what you do is you say, you suck for this reason, and then pivot to yourself and your own accomplishments and why you don't suck. He would take a shot at someone, then just stop there. That doesn't make me vote for you. That's not how you do it. You say it, and then you pivot to talking about your own accomplishments or beliefs he also didn't come off as assertive

at all like the whole time every time he responded i got like a feeling of that kid in the back of a class who would like correct something minor like actually it's a cumulonimbus cloud or like he doesn't really doesn't project his voice to get in there no yeah he spoke too silently just like carson so so my winners personally were there and blah blah blah blah blah and trump is like you like he's just he's just like loud and boisterous and with the with all the animated facial tics and stuff what worked for me was casek and christy those were two guys that i that i i liked what they had to say um i thought trump was kind of an even uh one thing that was fun to watch about trump is no one out alphas trump right even when jeb bush decided to stand up to him that ended with trump saying

oh you've got more energy tonight i like that and then he carries on and jeb bush was like trump likes me mission accomplished trump is smooth trump is smooth and trump never there will never i feel like if there's ever a silence, Trump is so ready to fill it. Like, if you don't have a thing to, like, say right after your point is made, if you're waiting on the crowd to cheer or something, Trump's filling that gap.

He's not going to let the crowd cheer for you. He's right in there, and it won't even be substantive. It'll be just random, like, just mishmash bullshit. Like, oh, when he describes his accomplishments, amazing accomplishments, ridiculous, incredible, the biggest I've ever seen. And when he talks about something

bad, the worst deal I've ever seen. I've seen deals. I've seen all kinds of deals. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. Like, he does that constantly. He's just, like, embellishing and just talking about it. For me, the Trump show is wearing out. Everything is either the greatest or the worst, as Kyle pointed out.

You know, something's absolutely terrible, something's completely wonderful and marvelous. And he rarely talks about any kind of policy with the exception of immigration. And, you know, they ask him something about the military and he'll get stumped and be like trust me i'll be the best at the military it's like that's not like a verb like i will be out militarying any of these other people out here like you can't just say that when you don't tell us like what you'll do or why you think it's a good idea um they take a lot of yeah i does do that. Yeah. I watch Band of Brothers twice a year. I'll have you. At Christmas and over summer. So I just feel like, you know, like Kyle's impressed with what Trump can do and how well he'll never be stumped and how he pivots and fills the void.

I feel like, for me personally, that stunt that he does is wearing out you know you're not the average voter we know he doesn't care about you trump doesn't care about your vote he needs he does not at all like like you can tell by what he says that he's not going for you he's just not um trump says things that sometimes just aren't even accurate oh yeah he just lies he'll make stuff up that's a republican thing that's like a politifact did like a survey dude the average like every time they check on an outlandish statement or or like a big fact republicans are far less likely to be accurate uh with their facts it's just they're full of shit that's also because it seems like republicans are more likely to take harder stances on things

whereas like the democratic debates at least from the last ones I've seen, they kind of just mishmash and kind of just talk around each other and agree way more than each other. Whereas the Republicans are more cutthroat. You can compare the State of the Unions. And that's a very similar scenario, right? What Bush says in his State of the Unions fucking fails. Like, PolitiFact flags are going up everywhere. Obama in his state of the union's fucking fails like politifact flag flags are going up everywhere obama does a state of the union it's literally a hundred percent true and he might be right yeah and you know and that's not a situation where it's back and forth

a debate or whatever it's just they get to say what they want to say and fact check it and make sure everything is accurate and yeah republicans lie to you more that's just the way it is the fact that i didn't like about pk stats one thing i didn't like about the debate and the way it was set up um i felt like that um i felt like the i didn't like that it was all about turning the the candidates against each other it seemed like that was the whole thing it was like oh so jeb don Donald's been talking shit. How do you feel about that? How do you feel about that shit he said about you and your wife? Mr. Paul, it's been assumed that Donald Trump thinks you pee sitting down. Get a response. Donald Trump recently referred to you as a faggot. How do you feel about that, Mr. Cruz?

How do you feel about that, Mr. Cruz? He's like, well, I don't... What? I don't really want to even answer that question. Let's talk about the economy. They all tried that, but it was clear that CNN wanted this to be like... I think Rush Limbaugh called it today a WWE-style debate, where everybody was constantly being pitted against each other, and you really had a hard time ever getting anything about policy or any real decisions they'd make in the White House.

And I think the candidates that stood out either, in spite of that format, were able to get their big ideas, their plans put forward and explained, or they were just like Donald Trump and they were just entertaining. We forget that, we make it seem like whoever has the most honest facts is the guy who's going to win, but that's never been the case. Look how Reagan won his. He's talking about like, I'm not going to let my opponent's immaturity be a factor in this race or something. Inexperience.

Inexperience. When it was his own age being questioned, they were like, you know, Reagan, you're so old. You're so old. How can you be running for president? And he's like, I am not going to stoop to that level. I won't use my opponent's inexperience against him. I think there was one about, he was like, I paid for that microphone or something like that. Or I paid for this microphone. It's those big gotcha moments in a debate that'll swing a candidate one way or another look back to when George Bush was debating Al Gore

and Al Gore's going on and on about the lockbox the lockbox that I'm going to put Medicare in just constantly and then off camera when it wasn't on Al Gore and Bush was talking he was like hrumphing that was big too

split screen and Al Gore did not know about the split screen so you got Bush over there He was like, hrumpfing. That was big, too. Split screen. And Al Gore did not know about the split screen. So you got Bush over there, you know, giving him shit. Bush is talking about Al Gore's fuzzy math, if you remember that line. Fuzzy math beat out the lockbox that year, and that's why he got George W. That's totally what it was. In the split screen, you got George Bush over here. And you know what he looked like on the stage.

He's calm, he's collected, and he's smooth as shit. And maybe he'll fumble his words and seem like he doesn't have a very good grasp on the English language at times. But when you watch George Bush debate George W. Bush, he's good at it. And he seemed like a likable guy. Meanwhile, Gore is so stiff and just like, he looked like he was being propped up. And he's making all those guffaw faces and rolling his eyes and breathing heavy that's what wins debates and i that's why i feel like trump is doing so fucking well that and he speaks his mind and there's the the fact that that

he's operating under his own money that nobody else is uh getting behind him with any money and so therefore he really isn't controlled by anyone but uh there was that whole i gotta get in oh i love the putin thing where he was like uh responding to the question about how he would handle foreign affairs having no experience with anything of the sort and he just went on like a minute diatribe of like i have confidence that vladimir putin and i will get along we will get along at my house we will get along at his house we'll get along by the pool we'll get along at the zoo like it's just going on and on no answer just that they would get along it'll be interesting i feel like press coverage has evolved a little bit right like when they covered the coverage around the bush gore thing like they spent a lot of time talking about

whether gore wore a white or a blue shirt, whether or not he rolled his sleeves up, his tie, his body posture, his body language, his rumpfing, his, you know, what he was doing off camera. The press didn't cover what they had to say or, you know, who was winning the back and forth. Now, you know, at least there's like when they say Carly Farina won, and forth. Now, you know, at least there's, like, when they say Carly Farina won, and that's what the press is saying, that Carly Farina came out on top, you can kind of see how someone might come away with that and say, yeah, you know, she really did assert herself and make herself known. She was no one before that debate. She was, like, she just skirted in in last place or something. And, you know, coming out of the debate, she got her time.

If the press can cover the debates going forward, not just the party ones, but like when the primaries choose their – when they get the Democrat and the Republican. If the press covers them more responsibly and talks about who won and not what they wore or what their body language was like, then the people might respond and listen to what they have to say. And we might be evolving towards that. We'll see. Did you see Chris Christie's body posture like halfway through where like they did the side pan and you can see the slight arc of it and everybody's standing there just 100% erect. And then Chris Christie's got like both arms on the podium leaning on it

like he just ate his Daily McDouble just trying to recover for a bit. He needs to show up with a, like, I beat lap band surgery T-shirt. I beat anorexia. Oh, he had lap band surgery. That's a real thing, yeah. And, I mean, you can see that he powered through it anyway. Yeah, determination, the kind the president needs. Who's the pediatric neurosurgeon?

Ben Carson. Ben Carson came off like a looney tune. He came off like a looney tune. Oh, he said so many crazy things. There was some climate denying stuff. But the one that really stood out to me, because it just kind of came off his tongue like it was nothing he and trump were discussing um vaccines whether or not a progressive tax system was uh socialism or not ben carson said it was he said a progressive tax uh system is paramount to um uh socialism which is bullshit that's ridiculous uh he said i think we should do it like the bible

tithe 10 and it's just like and they go on to talk about well you know you got the guy making 10 billion dollars who's giving 1 billion and one side of it is don't punish this guy next year maybe he'll chip in 2 billion for you but then the other side is you're leaving him with 9 billion dollars meanwhile

you took 10% of this guy who was only making 50 grand's money too it doesn't really make sense and and to see them go back and forth that truck came out the winner in that argument a because i know that a press attack system is probably a good idea especially after hearing what he says about the that these hedge fund guys and i was i was trying trying to learn today

about um... about how that how the hedge fund thing works. And mostly there was something about moving the interest over and over so that they ended up with a 15% tax rate. It was so difficult to understand that I just gave up. But clearly a progressive tax system isn't socialism. He looked like a moron saying that and and when he when he when he brings up tithing and the bible as a as a source code for his tax plan i'm just like whoa you're the neurosurgeon you're the smartest guy on the

stage what the fuck is your problem well he came off as like a conservative weirdo with all his stuff that he would just slip in but as far as like his talking pace and demeanor he came off as a likable guy was friendly was anyone else was anyone shocked that carly fiorino got away with like talking about all that plan those planned parenthood videos that have been debunked and we all know are have nothing to do with what she was saying they do on that stage it's easy to get away with it though right they all want to believe yeah it's it that was outrageous i i wanted donald trump to to call her on that i want anyone to to be like look i don't i hate planned parenthood i think we all here agree that whatever the status quo is about about uh planned parenthood but those videos

weren't real carly like like how you're basing policy on on fake youtube videos how was that are you going to bring that kind of decision making skills into the white house with you and and and i definitely would whenever uh trump was saying something about her being beautiful she totally should have come back with something like this isn't mr merr miss america uh uh mr trump because if it were you'd have been fired already for one thing and she totally should have come back with something like, this isn't Miss America, Mr. Trump. If it were, you'd have been fired already, for one thing. And she totally could have ripped him apart with, like, messing with her looks, and she didn't.

I thought him calling her beautiful, like, they're saying that made him look bad. I thought he owned that whole thing. He was like, you're a beautiful woman. He was basically like, what do you want? He did an okay job handling it, but you could tell that he was saying it facetiously, like in jest. He didn't even come off as sincere.

She's not a beautiful woman. I was listening to Rush Limbaugh. I saw somebody give me shit because I listened to Rush Limbaugh. That's grade A entertainment. I listened to Howard Stern, too. I don't agree with most of what he says, either, but it's great entertainment. Rush Limbaugh is just the same.

He was talking about that. he went into this whole thing about when a woman is ugly, you don't say she's ugly. He just goes on this whole thing, literally calling... He had some made-up word about ugly citizens, or uggas, or something like that. He was referring to ugly women. And of course, I'm thinking to myself, you fat, ugly motherfucker.

You are not throwing that stone in your glass house over there. But of course he does. And then he goes on, as soon as a caller calls in on a cell phone and starts making some sense and calling Trump out on some bullshit and Rush out on some bullshit, all of a sudden Rush can't hear so well. He's like, I'm sorry, can't really understand what you're saying. And everyone can understand. It's like a 7 out of 10 phone conversation. You can hear hear so well. He's like, I'm sorry. Can't really understand what you're saying. And everyone can understand.

It's like a 7 out of 10 phone conversation. You can hear everything he says. He's like, I'm having to read the transcript. And I'm thinking, yeah, that's because you abused all those prescription drugs. One of the side effects is hearing loss, you fat fucker. I love listening to him. It's very entertaining, but it's difficult at times.

Coming out of that debate, I think that we've got a real mix-up of things i'm hoping that soon those like bottom five guys who account for maybe nine percent of the vote all drop out like they need to be gone you know what i think i think that if we saw anything from that debate it's that some of the bottom feeders like carly Farina, Chris Christie, maybe even Kasich are going to get some attention. Rand Paul, he didn't do anything and he was already at the bottom, so nothing. Ben Carson, to me, who's currently in second, had such a terrible performance. We were making snoring noises and stuff like that every time he spoke.

Ben Carson's going to drop down. Some of those bottom feeders are going to go up, and it's going to be even harder after that debate. Yep, Bush is going down too, if you ask me. Yep, I agree. But I also think he's still significant enough, especially with his bankroll there, that there are very few guys that you can remove from that debate. If you wanted to cut it down to five, it's going to be harder tomorrow than it was yesterday. The problem with that is, I don't think that, and I don't know exactly cut it down to five, it's going to be harder tomorrow than it was yesterday. The problem with that is I don't think that,

and I don't know exactly how it would break down, but I don't think for example, a lot of Jeb Bush supporters who are going to leave his ship are necessarily going to go to a Ted Cruz or a Mark or Ruby or one of those guys. They're really in different camps, and so

are their donor bases. Like, you look at the donor base behind the K guy, whatever his name is. You know, he's got a lot of socially liberal policies. They're not going to want to get behind one of these more staunch conservative guys. They're going to find a more moderate place to go, like Jeb Bush or, I can't believe I'm calling him a moderate. But you've got this group of psychosos like Jeb Bush or maybe Trump. Kasich. Kasich. I typed it for him.

It's not that I have a hard time pronouncing it. I just don't, I can't remember it. It's nothing like it's spelling. I struggled at first too. But yeah, I think some of the weaker people did better in the debates and some of the front runners like Trump and Jeb Bush did poorly. So it's just going to be even more of a big tie than it was before you know penn carson did poorly jeb bush did kind of poorly to me poorly he just didn't do his outstanding like surge into the lead

from last time like anything compared to his first attempt of surpassing everyone is going to seem less successful but he came off as like he had some like laugh out loud moments from the crowd which is memorable trump has done us a real service and and you guys you know what he did he destroyed jeb bush every time someone thinks of jeb bush they think low energy now he was the front runner jeb and hillary were like like why are we even holding these primaries can't we we just have Jeb and Hillary go at it? Now Jeb is in third, right, and sinking. Yeah, he'll be back down.

He'll be down to fourth, I bet. Might be, yeah. So Carson is second right now? I can't believe that. I thought he was like one of the 1% guys just based on that last night. He was. He's surged recently. I think you can tell their poll positions by their position on stage.

I think they put the top ones in the middle and filtered out to the weaker ones. They did. Which is why Rand Paul was way over there on the side. I like Rand Paul's foreign policy. He was like, every time we take a secular dictator out, some non-religious then some religious crazies come in. Which is what the Republicans are trying to do, by the way.

Take out Obama, get Huckabee in there. We need some religious fuckery in this country. Yeah, it was a very entertaining debate. I look forward to seeing what comes out of this, how the polls adjust. I think Trump's in this thing for the long haul. I think he's been ahead in like, it's well over 100 polls. It might be 150 polls in a row he's been ahead in. And I think that's a record.

I don't think that's ever happened before. So I think he's in there for the long haul. I don't know if he's going to be the candidate or not. I really hope he is. It has to have happened before like Reagan's second term or something when he won 49 states and he knows. I don't know at the polls in any case he he's doing really well

He's he's speaking to a lot of people who won't change their minds No matter what a lot of the people who are who are like Trump supporters are gonna remain Trump supporters Unless he has sex with like unless like rapes a black woman on stage or something like that like he'd have to do something awful i don't know he'd have to like spit on a confederate flag or something like that he'd have to he'd have to i like the debate format i feel like that topic flowed away without me weighing in uh like there's maybe it was too extreme but like you said the debate format was kind of there to allow the people to argue against each other yeah the problem is in the latter formats when the democrats and republicans pick their winners it's almost like they get up there

and they give co-speeches you know they can't reply to each other they just say like oh murka would you give a short speech on the topic of Iran? Kyle, would you give your short speech? Okay, that's done. New topic. That's how it always happens, yeah. Yeah, and I really dislike that. I want to see the candidates mix it up.

I want to see them say, no, that's horseshit, and you have your facts wrong. Like Bush and Jeb and Trump got into over the gambling in florida thing if i wanted it i would have had it like his just assertive you know you don't know who you're talking to sir i was the governor yeah it turns out they they act like so jeb was like trump dave gave me 50 grand and uh i took50,000 and I didn't give him a casino. See, I'm not bought and paid for. And Trump was like, I didn't give you $50,000. If I wanted it, I would have had it.

Trump gave $50,000 to the Republican Party. They then in turn gave it to Jeb. One would presume, yeah. And Trump is saying he never gave it to jeb it's like it's half true at best i don't know yeah speaking of which that guy is hamstrung from the start would a guy named jeb even be considered as a nominee unless his last name was bush and he was part of that family is anybody gonna vote for you know jeb they voted for barack obama vote for you know jeb they voted for barack obama that's wrong point yeah yeah it's just jeb like some moonshiner in appalachia it does sound like that

they voted for him dude so i like the format i'll admit it got a little too uh you know in the weeds but overall I thought it was cool. So yeah, I enjoyed the debates. I look forward to the next one. And I really look forward to whenever the Democrats get around to allowing Hillary to debate. I know that her best buddy is running the Democratic Party right now, so they're trying not to have them speak on stage lest anyone know what they're up to. But to have them speak on stage, lest anyone know what they're up to.

But but eventually Bernie Sanders, Hillary Clinton and who's the third person? Whoever the fuck that is. Yeah. Hopefully it's our current vice president Biden. I hope he jumps in and embarrasses Hillary. I really don't want to see her win. Like whenever Hillary's losing, I'm happy. And she could be playing like volleyball on like a lazy saturday and if i'm peeking over and i see her fucking miss miss the serve and just loses yes yeah she looks like she plays a lot of outdoor sports you know i don't like hillary either i i don't um i was looking at the 11 republicans up there i think and i was like you know what though like as much as I dislike Hillary, and I think she's corrupt, and she's

warmongering and shit. Fake. I think of the 11 Republicans, if she were on that stage, I'd still have her at fourth or something. There's maybe three of those guys I like more than Hillary. Your personal rankings, or who you think would win in the debate?

No, who i would like as president like if you put hillary on that stage and made it 12 people i think she'd be like my third choice like there's not many okay yeah there's not many republicans i like more than hillary as much as i don't like hillary a lot of those republicans are just shitheads. You'd pick Huckabee over Hillary? No. I'd pick Huck. I'd put Hillary at 12th and Bush at 11th. It's just ridiculous having those two families running the show for this long.

Enough is enough. But even worse would be Huckabee. Huckabee's so much worse, dude. He's super religious. You think stem cell research is a good thing? Because Huckabee doesn't. You're going way too far with stem cell research because huckabee doesn't you know like you're going you're going way too far with stem cell research huckabee doesn't want your baby to get vaccinated probably huckabee's out there man he's super however you want to defend israel you want to go to war with iran you want to you know fucking start basing political

policy on the bible huckabee's your man huckabee will read into that Bible shit, twist it all up like a jackass idiot and say, America, it says right here in Proverbs something or other that America's supposed to attack Iran. And that that's Huckabee for you. You think a guy that extreme

could be that influential in office though? Like that he would actually get shit done? Bush told us that god told him what to do a couple of the current candidates refer to god telling them about their own policies i can't remember the specific example but a couple of the current candidates um say when asked when asked why they feel a certain way like oh well god told me to do that that's why i'm doing it oh it was one of them was saying that God told him to vote for Obamacare.

Yeah. What a great excuse for the Republican crowd. God told me to do it. The creator of the universe came down here and said, George, I got a mission for you. Alright? So y'all can fuck off, alright? Because I'm dealing with him right now. When they take that

stance with you, you just gotta be like, shit guess hillary huh hillary right that's where i am because like at least she only like obeys the evil person that she hears in her own head like like she doesn't have that whole imaginary one at least hers is real ben carson is a like god fuckery base tax policy on tithing bullshit right um that's weird um i might take trump over hillary i don't know i i i think i would take me for the entertainment value think about it hillary's gonna be a boring ass president christy casick might be my favorite republican i don't think his chances are very good but he's my favorite i think um but yeah Hillary's got to be coming in at like third or fourth amongst that Republican crowd to me. Bernie or Hillary? Ugh.

I don't know. Oh my God. Can I answer Biden, please? So I want a liar who... Neither of them have accomplished anything, have they? I looked it up and Bernie Sanders has like three sponsored bills that have made it through in 20 plus years two of which to read were to rename a post office i didn't maybe that's just like on the other side the post office was renamed successful it's like yes two for three you got a guy who fought for civil rights literally

you know he was part of sit-ins and stuff you You got a guy who fought for civil rights, literally. You know, he was part of sit-ins and stuff. You've got a guy who clearly says what he thinks, says what he means and means what he says. Not a liar. Not a liar. Very honest, forthcoming guy. And he seems like really grassroots motivated. He seems like he's the guy that'll, like, come out and, like, come to your backyard political rally, I bet.

I feel like if we set up a PKA Bernie Sanders meetup, that motherfucker would show up if he was in town. He seems like that kind of guy. And I even like his stances on marijuana, on the prison systems, all that stuff sounds great to me. But when he starts getting into the socialism, and when he starts wanting to really just be like, let's just get everybody at the same level. When he says every American could be right here in the middle, and then you wouldn't have these guys down at the bottom and these guys down at the

top. We could all ride this rail right down the fucking middle, and it's just like, no, I don't want to ride down the fucking middle. That's why I work so hard. And that doesn't work. It's never worked. Anytime you bring it up to someone who espouses those philosophies, it's like, oh, well, that wasn't a real attempt at it that wasn't

true communism or true socialism yes it was it failed because it was it's just you can't implement something like that you could with robots but when people have the need and a desire to succeed and they don't get rewarded for that and they're like well I can go be a

fucking middle school teacher and make as much as you know this neurosurgeon over here, or almost as much, 80% as much, like it's unfair. The other part of communism, socialism, is that you're still relying on a government, I thought you were saying you'd have to have a government made out of robots, like a robotic legislature, who would rob you blind in your socialist economy, because that's what's going to happen like currently you've got it sort of already is there's a political ruling class it seems but you're only going to see that grow in a socialist economy i feel like i feel like all of a sudden the politicians are going to be the guys with with all the money those those are it won't be these hedge fund guys anymore it'll be your senate majority leader he'll be the guy rolling in 100 million dollars somehow the upside of bernie sanders like we talked about is he has more character than anybody else in this show,

right? More than Donald Trump, obviously, more than Hillary, more than anyone. When it comes to character and honesty and being the right person, he owns it. The downside is, like you said, this socialism thing, I just can't seem to get on board with that. And a lot of people will think I don't know what it means. You hear socialism and you think bad. No, it's not that everyone who disagrees with you, dear listener, just needs more education. It's that they might have a different opinion and like I might be better educated than you mr. disagreeer I just don't think socialism is a good idea I think that it tends to demotivate and it's not gonna help the country I'll tell you what if you if you gave me a living wage anybody who's got a little

bit of savings especially like let me ask you this what he liked like hypothetical Woody who maybe maybe doesn't have any kids. Maybe it's just you and Jackie. You've got your current level of savings, etc., etc. And the government says, Woody, we're going to, based on your family and everything, $75,000 a year the rest of your life, done. Would you continue? Would you continue being productive in this world?

It's just you and Jackie. I got enough for an RV. We're going touring. I feel like I would get real lazy if you gave me a living wage, and then I could maybe supplement that with some other bullshit job that I just do for fun sometimes. If you give me tens of thousands of dollars of just free money, we're not...

We're not talking about welfare or something. We're talking about a living wage that just everybody gets. I just feel like that'd be supremely unmotivating for myself and while I don't think I'm the biggest go-getter out there in the world, I think there's plenty of people who are even lazier than me and if you give them a living

wage, they're going to be like, fuck this shit! They're going to be done too. you'll see a huge resurgence yeah people are gonna start doing jobs that like nobody really needs just like oh i'm an archery instructor you know i get 60k a year from the government and i make 90 a month from my archery instruction or you know i personal all the arrows i want for free lessons i got it made all the arrows I want for free I got it made the arrows thank God for Sanders and I feel like the long-term problem with that is you've got a less not just a less productive economy you know I just don't feel like sustainable when you do that I feel like okay so we're working at

whatever our GDP is now I feel like the gdp would go down i feel like people would and all of a sudden there wouldn't be as much money now the living wage starts going down until we've just in a depression right and i've beaten this to death so i'll just say it once i think if we raise the minimum wage to 15 an hour that's really going to advance automating jobs so they won't exist anymore and might be a good thing though it also wouldn't help the people at that level it yeah it would very shortly then companies would respond to the influx and the amount of consumer spending power there was out there and everything the price would ratchet up a little bit went to home depot check myself out

i would get myself some illegals to work for me. They work for $8 an hour cash, and that would be that. They don't penalize you for having... Maybe if you're a big corporation and you've got 10,000 illegals on a union job site or something, but nobody's fucking with the small businessman when he's got four or five illegals working for him. That would forever be my thing. I would always be like, oh, there's a fine for having the illegals I'll pay that I'll pay that it's better than insuring them and then pay and pay in all this all this other bullshit this $15 minimum wage to Javier over there who's just a

frie cook and it would destroy small business you think a small business where there's you know five clerks at the front doing whatever the fuck the small business does you know do you clerks at the front doing whatever the fuck the small business does, you know, do you think they can afford to insure, give them all full benefits, pay for all their birth control, give them 15 bucks an hour? Like, you're just, you're not helping the small business people. Although, maybe we could, maybe all that stuff's affordable under a Bernie Sanders who would cut all the other bullshit.

Maybe if Bernie Sanders goes in there and says, we don't need 350 naval ships because we don't have to fight the entire world simultaneously. We have allies. I know that a lot of people want us to maintain this World War II era readiness, being able to fight in both oceans simultaneously against a Japan and a Germany,

and an Italy if you count them. They always want to be China and Russia ready. We're going to have to bare-handed fist fight China and Russia at the same time. And if we're not good enough to do that, then we're just not good enough. And that's outrageous. Maybe if you cut that military spending down a little bit, we can afford some other stuff. Not all that. You couldn't afford to subsidize every small business owner forever if you cut down the military.

You know what i have is an idea that might be cool but i also don't know which one i'm saying is true um you know how when you're self-employed like as a contractor like a youtuber um you have to pay both sides of your security it's 15 i feel like that world is opening up like something about the internet has created a ton of micro entrepreneurs, right? Every Uber driver, every YouTuber, every Etsy store owner, like there's the, like the, the micro business, right? Like I think small business, I think something that's established that hires like five people or whatever. Um, paintball kitty has a successful Etsy business, right? And she does it all on her own, right?

She designs the logo. She packs it up. She markets it. She's figured out SEO. The whole thing is her brainchild and her sweat equity. That little micro business is growing. Why not not tax both sides of our social security? You know, like it would be neat if those littleinesses got a boost and then that would just get pumped

right back into the economy. It's the kind of thing that I think would help. And I think it should be encouraged. The little strike out on your own. Do a side job. Make a thing. See where that goes. Micro-businesses become businesses.

Do you think things like that might drop off if everybody was kept in that middle bar like Sanders wants it's like oh well you're gonna get this much anyway why take a risk on you know quitting this for sure thing and then starting up something that at best is gonna do the same you know yeah I think it is a disincentive so do we need new topic yeah so we're gonna go a bunch of topics chosen boy I have a video of the So we've got a bunch of topics chosen. We've got the clock boy. I have a video of the clock boy. I have a video of a guy who runs over himself with his car.

I don't know if you want to see that. It's about 10 seconds long. Do you want to see my new toy first? Can we do that? Because that'll be short. Yes. Oh, I guess we can see your toy, Kyle. Is it a gun? I hope he unzips.

Yes. I hope it involves unzipping. I can't believe it's a gun. Do you know what it is? No I have no idea what it is I think it's cooler than you're imagining Kyle come back completely dressed What?

Come back completely like I felt like you were just going to hold it up No you gotta No no no I'm setting up so I can stand behind the sofa And still be like Oh your gimp suit came in Now I'm looking forward to this it's a whole outfit what would Kyle want to dress up as seems like the kind of

guy who would get really into Halloween it could be something like that he said it was a gun too that might be included I wonder if the viewers know what it is I know what it is I don't want to get but I wonder if the viewers know what it is. I know what it is, but I wonder if anyone else has figured it out. Don't know. There's a lot of rattling going on in the background though. It's consistent with what I know it is. It appears to be metal. A jetpack. So this is pretty fucking cool. What is it it it's a flamethrower any holes in your

walls I recall him saying that he hated flamethrowers and never wanted to shoot another one again. And now he owns one because he is a maniac. I'm not sure. He might own two. Let's ask him to talk about that. Hey, Kyle, there was a time when you hated flamethrowers and you never wanted to shoot one again. Talk about that. Oh, you're muted i think mike

what could he be doing oh he's fixing his camera to make himself more handsome it worked it worked but you're muted you're muted rattle the thing now perfect you're good all right great um yes there was a time so that flamethrowerower I shot before was a Vietnam era flamethrower. Like it was one that had been to Vietnam and like killed some gooks, I guess. And the thing was leaking on me. Like napalm was leaking out. Not real people. Two of the different valves.

Like on the wand it was leaking. On the backpack it was leaking. And there was just like fuel everywhere. It was dangerous. It leaked on my hand. Like it burnt my hand. Dude, the best part of that video. You might think it it's shooting the pig you might think it's the air thing for me it's when you shake the napalm off this napalm like like a four inch flame and he shakes it off

and the flame like falls like it goes to the ground like dripping plastic it was it was napalm it was and that was legit napalm too like like we were i'm sorry to interrupt but i've never played with napalm what's it like like how is napalm different than burning gasoline or like it's it's a thick jelly-like uh consistency that's sticky so if i were to douse you with water you'd quickly take it off but if i were to douse you with something that was like thick and jelly-like, you'd be like, and it'd be like all over and you can't get it off. And you continue to burn because it's stuck to you. It also burns hotter. It burns a lot hotter.

The makeup of it varies. I don't know about, I think there's polystyrene in there. And they use a higher level of benzene to help dissolve the polystyrene. And there's lots of homemade ways to make it it but this flamethrower company actually sent me some mix I've got this big thing of powder that you mix with the unleaded gasoline this one or the previous one so this one shoots napalm as well like I have it same kind of napalm that you were shooting the other time so you just and you have your own mixing kit for lack of a better so you just like pop it in a keurig and out comes your five gallon jerry can

and you mix i'm gonna take like a metal i'm gonna use a pot i'm gonna use like a metal because i gotta pour it like twice i'm gonna pour the gasoline up in a vessel uh add the powder stir it till it's congealed right and then use a funnel to add it to the uh the uh the backpack on the flamethrower. How many gallons does the backpack hold? You know, I couldn't say. I just got this thing this morning. I was out working all day so I haven't even read the instructions. Is it a scuba

tank? It does not look like a scuba tank. It's so thick-walled. I mean, those walls feel like they're this thick. It feels like... I'm not exactly sure, but it's good. How long can you hold down the trigger on one of those and it'll keep shooting? On the Vietnam era,

when it seemed like I had 30 seconds of continuous stream. Maybe a minute. I'm not sure, really. I'm going to find out tomorrow. It shoots 50 feet. It shoots napalm, gasoline, whatever. And I'm getting more on Monday, apparently.

I want to get the name right. Because there's two different flamethrowers that are commercially available these days. And that's the reason that I'm willing to do the flamethrower thing. And I used to say I wasn't again. Because the old flamethrower I used was that Vietnam era, like, you know, a 40-year-old flamethrower or something. And this one is brand new the one I just showed you is like $1,500 and it's the XM 42 I think I keep getting the two mixed up how much would one of those run you if you're just like

now I could use something it's a flamethrower 1500 so the backpack model is 1500 the it's the x15 this is the x15 that's right so the backpack one is the x15 it's just 50 feet shoots napalm then there's the x42 I think which is a different company altogether and they sell this it's an XM 42 I'll link it to it. I have this idea for a day in a life and I I guess I'll just ruin it but you know I do these day in the life videos one time in the day in the life video I opened a banana from the bottom which I do about two-thirds of the time it's just better it opens I don't know if you've ever

opened a banana from the non stem side but it goes really easily people made a big deal out of it I have an idea to do a day in the life where I just do like awkward shit all fucking day and one of them is gonna like I want to light like you just oh yeah we're gonna have a little fine family father family fire gathering and start it with a flamethrower maybe open a banana from the side like it's normal just like nibble around like it's corn you eat it slowly until it's just a core of that weird brown it just make no mention of it like again and again and again all video long like yeah i don't know put on like socks outside my shoes or i i haven't thought through. It has to be less obtuse than that. You need to do things that are normal that people will just see as weird and slowly over

the video, they'll be like, well, that's weird. I didn't know he ate bananas like people eat corn on the cob. He puts his toilet paper on the wrong way. Just anything like that. I'm trying to think of more good ones, but that's a good idea. You should try it. Now it's ruined. I could just like make an argument for ballet shoes while doing construction like oh yeah yeah i like this because

i have to like climb from wall to wall and i feel more in touch while i wear ballet shoes all right so that's the xm42 that's the little handheld one uh it's 900 and i think that should be here monday i hope um i'm hoping they're sending two. I want to do one in each hand. And I think that's going to be really cool. I think I got the green one, if you're curious. 900. Jesus Christ. You can get... That's cheaper than if you want to buy, like, a Kimber, Smith & Wesson.

Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm going to say in the video. I'm going to be like, you know, like... I'm going to be like, my handgun here costs more than this flamethrower. And you can get a lot more fun out of this thing. And the ammo is cheap. Yeah. A couple bucks a gallon.

Uh, it's, it's, it's a pretty cool toy. I haven't, uh, haven't shot either of them yet, but I'm familiar with flamethrowers. So I think it's gonna be a lot of fun. I got some cool ideas. They should sponsor PKA. I think that'd be a good idea. I was working. I, I like, I'll see, uh, I'll see if they want to.

I, I, I know, know um i'm trying to get you the uh the uh one of the little ones i'd love that a little flamethrower yeah i swear i think i'd rather have that concealed weapons permit just just like a pocket flamethrower standing in the back of a 7-eleven it starts to starts to get burgled. Now's my time to shine. It's like an aerosol spray in a lighter. You don't even disarm the guy. He's just laying there in agony.

Head aflame. Even the little one shoots 25 feet. Gonna be cool shit. I gotta find some fun stuff to do with it. I got some really cool ideas, but I want to shoot stuff for fun. I want to find a big hornet's nest, like a giant one. I think that would be a lot of fun. I imagine them flying around on fire.

That'd be great. You could flash cook another Henrietta. That's going to happen. That's part of the video. We'll be cooking something in the video for sure. Would you be able to eat that or would the napalm make it completely inedible we'll see we'll work something out yeah i got a couple ideas there's one way of doing it where i imagined like sealing the food item up inside of uh like a metal

vessel and then heating the outside with the flamethrower cooking it and eating it um just a thought you're so good at ideas but popcorn might work in a situation like that. Just popcorn in a steel tin. And then it might be an audible kind of pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop that you could mic up. And it'd be cool for video. Yeah. And I'm going to do some stuff with some propane inflatable balloons, maybe some giant ones. And I got a few other little ideas.

I got a car involved. You can buy six foot balloons. I know. I was looking at them on Amazon. I haven't decided how big I'm going to go with these balloons. I've got some. Yeah, they're not that much. I think I bought...

I'm just not sure how... I got to do some testing. I'm not sure what a balloon of propane looks like when you ignite it. So if a three-foot-wide balloon of propane explodes and makes an eight-foot-wide fireball, then I know I need to be a certain distance from... Pretty far away. Far away, yeah. foot wide fireball, then I know I need to be, you know, pretty far away. Yeah.

But if it explodes into a 40 foot fireball, then I know that it's too big and I need to go. I remember I wanted to do oxyacetylene and you're like, Woody, a balloon that size will break windows for blocks. Like, like it's like, like it's like police will come, fire department will arrive. People can get really hurt. I'm very afraid of acetylene. Acetylene gas is so volatile.

It burns at such a high temperature. And I don't know, when propane or even gas fumes go off, they can be kind of explosive. They'll whoosh and they'll ignite. But acetylene is like boom. It just instantly ignites and it's so hot and it's it's even a dirty uh sooty uh smoke when i burnt my hand i just remember it was blackened it was just blackened and the blisters were the size of silver dollars and it was just

nasty and i never want that again that's why i hate acetylene so much i had a bad childhood experience history with the settling yeah yeah and fear is, of course, filling the balloon and some static electricity zaps the balloon and it explodes right there in your hands as you're filling it. When I got hurt, it was a balloon this big of acetylene that I lit with a lighter.

What we're describing is a six-foot diameter balloon many times the volume. It's like 150 regular balloons or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. At least a hundred times the volume. It would literally incinerate the front. If that went off in front of you, it ruptures your eardrums. You'd probably die. You might die. It ruptures your eardrums. It would, you'd have second, at least second degree burns all over the side of your body that was facing it. Probably your whole body. If you inhaled, you could just die instantly.

You could inhale the fire, scorch your lungs, and be... Worse yet, you might die over the next three minutes. Or over the next three months. So you're either dead or consigned to giving speeches on firework safety at middle school.

I've never done it. You know what I mean? Never play with flamethrowers. Never! You don't have lips anymore Did you have one of those guys come to your school For like chewing tobacco or cigarettes We had that chewing tobacco guy come with like A little jaw He told us go back.

It was just so scary. We had a meth guy come and he was talking about all the dirty sexual things that he did to earn money and he was talking about how it was awful and we're back there laughing our asses off.

We're 15, 16, 17 year old kids who we just did off. We're 15, 16, 17-year-old kids. We just did gym. We're all hyped up. Then you got this fucker up there crying about having to suck some dick for a gram of meth or something. We thought it was hilarious.

That made no impact on us. How in-depth did he get? Not very in-depth. He got his point across without being graphic he was just like the things you'll do and it was just you know he looked like shit of course he had the meth face so like it was like i i mean i've seen the commercials like like i am not gonna do any meth like if i got diagnosed with like some awful disease and i'm gonna die soon yeah let's meth it the fuck up

because it seems like one hell of a ride from everything i've seen and all the breaking bad episodes so yeah sure then but it's one of those drugs that i'm i don't usually fall for that dare propaganda bullshit but when they say meth not even once i'm like deal yeah there's some of those drugs that just fall into the don't even consider it like yeah not even once i'll never forget when i was hanging out with those guys that i didn't know very well and i was just like we're just like in the backyard of a house smoking cigarettes and i was just like it meth came up and kind of in the same jokey way we're describing it right now and i was like you ever seen those commercials man meth i tell i'm i'm on board with that not even once and the one guy was like i tried it a few

times and the other guy was like and i looked at him like what the fuck and the other guy yeah me too you know and i was just like all right boys i'm gonna get the fuck up out of here i had no idea like i'm out of here no no it's fine i'm just a weekend tweaker you know i dabble yeah heroin's the one man heroin i've never tried heroin but um i did this short-lived video series on my channel that talked about what what cocaine was like what heroin was like and maybe some others and uh these were like hardcore addicts and i would just read their stories and um heroin was the one that like just made everything okay he's like it's 5 a.m you're driving to work you're stuck in traffic in the city it's raining and every drop is beautiful you know like you can

go to work on heroin you can uh function on heroin it just makes you happy it just makes everything okay until it spirals out of control, until you build a tolerance, until it goes terrible. It's wrecking your body. You can't feel well without heroin. You can't be happy unless you're on heroin. But the initial stages of the addiction, the whole yeah, there's all these problems, but I am content and fulfilled. Like people who find Jesus. They filled that hole that was in me. Heroin and Jesus, very similar. I don't think, and I've never done heroin,

but I know it's just another really strong opioid. If you took a ton of Vicodin or Oxycontin or something like that, I don't think you can function if you shoot up a bunch of heroin into your arm like it's basically like even the people who you can sort it like you know those uh when you watch the sherlock home tv shows and the guy they walk into the opium den and everybody's just laying on bean bags not even responsive with their opium hookahs like that's not even as intense as injecting it and those guys are laying around like they're borderline dead. Granted, that was Sherlock Holmes, and I have no experience. So I don't know.

I do not think you could function on heroin. I've known people who used to be heroin addicts, and one of them used to shoot heroin, and the other one had only ever snorted heroin because she was so skeeved out by needles, I guess. So I guess that's a good thing.

But apparently when she was snorting heroin, she could operate fairly well doing basic... Go ahead. I have a video and I want to... It's my own. It's like three and a half minutes, I think I want to watch. I gave the time stamp

for when the interesting stuff starts. Can we watch it together? Sure. So I'm at 35 seconds. Same. I am as well. That should be very close to when it starts. Ready, set, play. The question was, what is heroin like? And here's the response. Actually, this is an obvious question, but it's

not what you might think. Let me explain it to you. I've been an opiate addict for a long time, and I've tried many drugs. Drugs that are uppers have the most obvious euphoria. For example, like if you take Adderall, Coke, meth, speed, MDMA, you will get this shining bright euphoria, self-confidence, energy, and other drug-specific feelings. For meth, like you are king. For MDMA, like you love everyone. However, you owe these drugs back what they delivered to you. After a meth binge, or lots of MDMA use, or staying up all night on coke, you will feel like shit.

To an extent, this is similar to an alcoholic hangover. On the other hand, for people who experiment with heroin, they are underwhelmed. Not including IV usage, but most experimenters rarely IV the first time. They just feel good, chill, happy. But they feel like the spooky drug heroin hasn't delivered. They're just mellow. Oh, and obviously it's all been a lie, they will think. Heroin isn't spooky. It's chill. It's not addictive like everyone else

thinks. It doesn't make you do stupid shit or stay up all night and hallucinate like amphetamines or coke. It doesn't empty your serotonin like MDMA or give you a hangover like alcohol. People tend to think, oh, what a nice drug. So the next day they wake up and everything is normal. No headache or shitty feeling, just a slight afterglow of that nice feeling. Oh, and it was cheap as well. It only cost $10 for a whole night of being high. I thought people said heroin was expensive. And then the next weekend comes. There are all these drugs I could do, but I liked heroin. It didn't fuck me up. I could still think clearly. No hangover. No feeling like shit later. I was still awake. It just made me happy and content

with life. Oh and it's only ten dollars. Well I should get some more for the whole weekend. This is great. I will use heroin on the weekends now. Now let's say this person works and has responsibilities. He knows he can't go into work drunk or on MDMA or high, so he doesn't. It's actually simple. But heroin? The user might actually find they do work better on heroin. Instead of being sad or grumpy or depressed with his job, he is just happy, mellow, content. Everything is fine and the world is beautiful.

It's raining. It's dark. I woke up at 5.30 a.m. I'm commuting in traffic. I would have had a headache. I would have been miserable. I would have wondered how my life took me to this point, this point I'm at right now. But no, no, everything is fine.

Life is beautiful. The raindrops are falling, and in each one I see the reflection of every person's life around me. Humanity is beautiful. The raindrops are falling and in each one I see the reflection of every person's life around me. Humanity is beautiful. I'm in this still frame shot of traffic on this crowded bus and I just found love and peace. Heroin is a wonder drug. Heroin is better than anything else. Heroin makes me who I wish I was. Heroin makes life worth living. Heroin is better than everything else. Heroin builds up a tolerance fast. Heroin starts to cost more money.

I need heroin to feel normal. I don't love anymore. Now, I'm sick. I can't afford the heroin I need. How did $10 used to get me high? Now I need $100. That guy that let me try a few lines the first time doesn't actually deal. Now I need to find a real dealer. The guy is a felon and he carries a gun and he can sell me the drug that lets me find love in the world. No, this isn't

working. I need to quit. To answer your question, heroin feels nice. That's all. It just feels very nice. You can make up the rest for yourself. Attach your own half-truths to this drug that will show you the world, and for a moment, you will feel as clever as Faust. That's it. And now my next letter. That, as far as I know, is what heroin is like. It kicks off just nice, just content, just happy.

It gives you the life you wish you had, and then it just starts wrecking you. If you had only put the first two paragraphs in your video and cut it off after that, you could have ruined hundreds of thousands of lives. It makes me who I wish I was. I am happy. Content.

Yeah. He's like, I see the lives of everyone around me in each raindrop. I can work on this drug, maybe even better. That, to me, was one of the biggest dangers about it. You know you can't go to work drunk. If you're an alcoholic, you need to hide that shit, unless you're a live streamer. If you're on Coke, if you're a um if you're

uh uh if you're on coke if you're on i don't know about coke i'm sort of speaking outside of my my expertise but if you're on a lot of drugs mdma he said you can't go to work high on that stuff but heroin yeah just a happier version of you a content uh I bet you could work on meth, on coke, on marijuana. I would think that the ones that it would be difficult to work on would be the hallucinogenic ones and the ones that really fuck. MDMA. LSD.

Yeah, yeah. Anything like that. Anything that's going to be psychedelic. Mushrooms, I would imagine. Any of that stuff that would actually fuck up your perception of the world around you. Can imagine like you're like you're working like a meat processing plant your hands going in the grinder and you just see rainbows shooting out the other end you're like let's do it let's do it again yeah like you don't want that but you were

talking about like oh yeah if i knew the world was going to end, well, shit. Oh, yeah. Heroin, that guy's an effective advertiser for if you're dying in two weeks. Yeah, I think if it were the end, it's all going to be sealed up. I'd go buy a few thousand dollars worth of fucking heroin, I think. That sounds like one hell of a time. Sounds like it would ruin your life, though. Even if you just, I guess you could try it once, but you would have to be real strict you'd have to be like that's it just the one time i can't co-sign on the just try once thing you know it never goes wrong because he describes it oh oh that was a thing so i did that as a series i know i did coke i think i might have done alcohol i forget

but um the common theme through a lot of the hard drugs was that at first you feel like everybody else is wrong like yeah I'm doing coke I'm doing heroin I think I did meth I'm not sure but it I would read a lot of these letters a lot more than made it into videos and they all kind of like started as you know what it's not as bad as everyone tells you it is. And but they escalate into every bit as bad as everyone tells you it is. Yeah. Not even once.

Yeah. My brother-in-law died from a heart attack because he did coke. Damn. Yeah. And it was a shame. It damages heart. And he was the vice president of a bank. He had a family.

He must have been. Was he doing a was he was he a cocaine abuser or uh he did it in college basically uh one would guess that he did too much um because it did kill him but uh you know how do they i'm sure you could work on coke that whole i'm wondering did they directly link it to that like was that what the the doctors said and everything it was a known thing before he died that his coke had damaged his heart and he was like you know sort of trying to regulate it and you know like and he just did it in college i can't i'm not i feel like i'm talking outside of my expertise but that's pretty much it it peaked because i fear about people like doing so much that you know they they ruin their nose you know the inside of their nose is gone but

their hearts don't give out that's how this came up to me like you said what was the drug your high school people did oh they they suck dick for this drug oh meth meth okay it was coke when i was in high school coke heads came and um the guy took a twine or a cloth string, and he went through one nostril and out the other and sort of demoed how Coke had burnt a hole in his nose. And I think people can do that anyway or something, can't they? Yeah, but they're going up back here. You can do it too.

He didn't have anything in between the nostrils though. Yeah, I think he was much less of a talent. He just kind of stuffed it over. Get yourself a spaghetti noodle and just keep snorting it, and eventually it'll come out your throat or out the other nostril. Or just look at a diagram online, and don't do that because that's disgusting. Don't tell people to sniff wet spaghetti. Make some videos of you doing the spaghetti trick wasn't there a thing like people were snorting condoms that was

like uh that was jackass wasn't it that was a thing for a little while it was a thing on youtube where people were repeatedly snorting condoms and i think somebody hurt themselves like it's yeah how would you hurt yourself sniffing a rubber bag into your mouth and nose where you breathe? Yes Yeah, yeah, that's what went wrong I think he's perforated a bit you know I that safety I Don't know I If you were dying in the next... If you knew you were going to die in a month, Woody,

you wouldn't try the poo-poo platter of extreme drugs just to see? If I was to die in a month? I suppose it matters what those responsibilities are, too. I would definitely... If I knew my end date was in a month,

I'd be arranging my finances. I'd have a lot of shit to get done. A week with a lawyer and you'd have that sewn up. Probably. assume all that. You could be high during that. Like you do meth while you're getting your shit arranged,

get it done in half the time, more, more heroin time. I definitely see the appeal of what you're talking about, but I also like, you know, there are people who care about me who would consider every last moment to be important. And I wouldn't want to rob them of that.

You asked the wrong person, Taylor. We get fucked up! Crazy, Kyle. I'd invent some drugs. Like, yeah, if you got a month left to live, you do anything you want, right? Like, fuck everybody else's rules. Like, live for you because what's the point? It's all about me.

If you've got a month to live and I know I'm going to keep living, I'll come down to your house. I'll do it with you. You will want to. Come with me. It's going to be a shit show. I'm going to be punching fucking rude-ass waitresses. I'm going to be spitting on crying babies. I don't give a fuck.

We've got 30 days to go here. It's going to be like a Morgan Spurlock documentary called Fuck It. It's going to be great. You know what I might do? I could see myself going on a murdering rampage. Gee, well that's even darker than what I see. There are people who

care about me and want to spend every moment. I'd rather spend it sulking in the shadows. Finding people who slighted me once in 6th grade there's some people who need killing I've got a list in my head is that what you do? if I only have a month to live

I feel like I could I could not get caught for 4 weeks Dexter's a little extreme I think I could just shoot a guy in another state and get back here and they won't trace it to me for four weeks god it'd be a while well that's that's a dark turn i just really wanted to live it up and have a good time no there's some people that need killing and uh who's on that list it seems like you got quite a list i've never revealed any names on the list. See? Just in case I decide to take care of some.

Well, the fact that you have a list already, I can just see the list. Have I shown you my manifesto? I just want to be known that I bail. As you can see here mr woodward clearly had a list he he produced it for the audience they all chuckled and he looked very seriously at the camera and nodded i was thinking to myself like so we're rebuilding the stable right now and the contents of it aren't secure right like we're redoing doors and stuff and and uh i'm like man it would really suck if somebody um robbed me but

that just happened once that's it well i i guess you think there's like a conclave of burglars that the guy's gonna get around don't go don't go over there i just went back to my no no i'd say i just feel like but no but he's gonna kill the guy and then hang him in the yard. Yeah. I wouldn't get... I don't see myself getting robbed twice. I... Ideally, they'd tell all their

robber friends, but no, certainly not the same guy. That's a killing offense. You guys got the castle doctrine up there? I guess you'd probably be okay. In your shoes, dude, that's a killing offense. You guys got the castle doctrine up there? Yep. Well, I guess you'd probably be okay. In your shoes, I'd probably... A good birdshot peppering hurts like a motherfucker, but they'll leave.

And there won't be, like, a person dead at your house, you know, that you would now have to deal with. I feel like it'd be better to just pepper them. We'll need that backhoe after all, won't we, Kyle? Oh, got it. That's weird that Woody finally decided to go with a pig farm. Go to the pig farm

after all. Yeah, we voted against that HOA. We're all set. You're like that guy from Snatch. Yeah, feed them to pigs. You know what this means 20 pounds of flesh a minute so you want to see a guy who um who runs over himself with his car i do as long as afterwards we can watch the guy who hit the uh the uh the other football player with his helmet yeah i like your idea too.

All right. Those both sound promising. Is it the guy's fault that he gets hit by the car? Because that's always a stickler thing for me. If it's just some guy walking around and he gets hit, I don't like watching it. It feels bad. But if it's some asshole trying to moonwalk as he has his hands on the front of his F-150...

I believe he's driving kind of aggressively or something and the guy behind him bumps him. Well... I'm not sure. We've been watching on the main screen. All I'm going to say is he should have buckled up, and this would not have happened. That's true. That's the best ride he's got there, though.

Can you guys link it? It's linked. It's an imager link. Oh, it's imager. You notice he's got that little toothpick thingy? Oh. What toothpick thingy? On the dash. It's being reflected onto

the windscreen in the car that's being driven. Is it green? No, there's one of those little toothpick things. Oh, that's what that is. I see. Yeah, it's the little floss and it flies away at some point during the braking. My God, who would have thought a Subaru driver would do that?

A Subaru WRX. Usually they're so courteous on the road. Those things haul so much. I don't know about that one in particular because it looks like a hatchback model that I'm not familiar with, but I drove a Subaru WRX, like whatever the performance model is. It's all-wheel drive and 300 horsepower. it's outrageous, and it's a small car It was as much power as the Mustang GT that year But it was that little ass Subaru with all-wheel drive

I was I had a saw a list on the internet And it was like the most ticketed cars that if I recall the Subaru WRx sti or whatever the one's called is the number one like far and away like even beats mustang and the little hopped up civics that people have so i drive at tacoma and at tacoma is a bit of a balance between like a big strong truck and a nimble car right it's somewhere in the middle of that. I had a friend who had like a Dodge Cummins turbo diesel. People don't know that it's a three quarter ton truck. It was really nice. He also had a WRX STI and that shit was a race car and he raced it on weekends. It had, they tore all the interior out to make it lighter. They put in a roll cage so he'd be race legal

and that was what he did. And it was like, damn, that just seems like a really good setup. He has the spectrum covered, or at least the ends of it. He's got the big, comfy truck, and he towed a lot. And he's got the STI race car with the roll cage. That was where I wanted to be. I could even still make a case for it. Did you get a race car?

Yeah, you know, for all my racing needs. Dad sold his... I need groceries now! You could totally get yourself a race-ish car for not that expensive. Dad sold that Chevelle that he restored for, I think, $11,000 today. A guy just kept pestering him about it. He's not done with it yet. He hasn't finished, so he sold it kind of... We accepted an offer on our house today. Oh guy just kept pestering about it. He's not done with it yet. He hasn't finished, so he sold it. We accepted an offer on our house today.

Oh, even nicer. I don't want to give away all the details, but I'm pretty happy with the offer. You know, I haven't told the world. I haven't even gotten the paperwork yet, but it might be in my email. He said something about Jackie checking my email.

I'll check your email. Yeah, that'd be great. But yeah, we're really happy with the offer and that's just one less thing on my list of things to worry about. Very nice. It wasn't that we needed the money or that there was any kind of problem or anything. But I always worry that an unoccupied house is steadily getting worse. I went over there a week ago or so, and there was a raccoon on the back porch. When we live there, raccoons didn't come on the porch and do shit.

I feel like the vermin are making their way in toward the home. They're all kind of closing in on it. There could be a broken window that doesn't get discovered. Well, it's showing a lot, so it would get discovered. But that's the sort of thing. It's just such a... I love your fears here. I feel like these are so unwarranted.

I would be afraid of squatters. But you are like... of your fears here i feel like these are so unwarranted i would be afraid of squatters but you are like i feel like we're a week away from some sort of post-apocalyptic jungle taking place inside my house like in the movies where like it's it's 20 years no humans and like the vines have grown in and there's monkeys living in the living room and shit you're like the coons are moving in they're on the back porch it's not a problem now but um uh oh oh so this isn't even a thing that could happen to us because you know the hoses that lead to you right in the back of the washer yeah okay there's usually a hot and cold and the washing machine does its thing um sometimes they burst and then you've just got water, like, pouring. Ours actually burst in that house, like, I don't know, shortly before we moved out.

Where's the breaking point? I would imagine the end of the hose could get rusty, and it could, like, break away there. But did the hose itself burst? No, it was, so there's the hose itself. And then the end of it is just like a garden hose and then there's like a metal cylinder that clamps clamps on the hose and that cylinder clamping action seemed to be where it failed for us and um it just so happened jackie was upstairs and she went over there and just turned the dials like you would a sink or but if you weren't there

you'd have ruined the second floor of the house or wherever that thing was. You'd have ruined a lot of shit. It was on the second floor. And it would just ruin the second floor. It would have ruined the first floor. And my parents have friends who took a six-week vacation. And that happened to them. Yeah.

You got to turn the water off. You can leave that long. I wouldn't have known to do that. But it's a good idea the way you say it. I wouldn't have known to do that, but it's a good idea the way you say it. And because the vacation was more than a month, you know, four weeks, it was ruled unoccupied and their insurance didn't cover the damage. So now our place, I don't know if it's occupied or not by virtue of the fact that we go there almost every week,

but that's a risk rerun. Now, we don't have those hoses, so it shouldn't't be a thing but what if pipes freeze and i'm not there you know like it's not going to freeze in september in north carolina but i'm just happy to get the house sold have a happy buyer let them do their thing and uh and then no weird stuff will go wrong with it under my ready to watch this guy get hit with the football helmet i don't think it's great for discussion or anything i just want to see it i'm queued up at zero oh wait let me um you know what we've been doing so many video watching let me fix other people's videos can you hang on for a second of course so if you want to look at this up later it is linden player hits immaculata player with helmet immaculata immacululate here's that uh game of football is going on

rip roar and fun for the whole family so i'm at zero while i fix the uh things ready as well oh i'm sorry i thought you were doing play by play no no i was just giving the setting it up yeah uh and now i i want to look and see if i can tell who's going to get irritable. You know, on the subreddit, I've been getting a lot of advice on how to make it so that this is never a problem. And the advice is always bad. They're like, yeah, you know, there's only like two layouts that you need to save or scenes or something. And it's not true they fail to account for the fact that skype can be a different size i don't necessarily not

touch it all week long i use it every day they uh like there'd be a different layout for when murka drops than there would for when kyle drops or when kyle's video turns to an avatar versus murka there's like 20 different combinations of things that can go wrong the guest can do it kyle can do it taylor can do it the guest and taylor can do it like it um and selecting sub regions skype shuffles where they are in the app with everything anyway i'm going on too long but stop giving me advice unless you actually have a solution and you don't test it so uh are we ready i am ready oh god are you back in zero I watched something completely different it was horrible I'm ready for the football game ready set play Lyndon is this Jersey by chance someone on the black jersey team

is gonna attack oh you're so racist oh you're. It's because they're the defending team. They're going to get irritated when they score. Whoa! Whoa! What an asshole. He rips the player's helmet off and hits him in the head with it. And it wasn't like a cheap shot. The guy in the white

jersey was trying to push back on the guy in the black jersey. And as he's falling trying to push, because the guy in the black jersey is backing up, he just snatches the helmet off his head in a swift motion. I guess the guy's chin strap had kind of unbuckled. And then he swings it like he's bowling and just cracks the guy right in the top of the head. Doesn't look like it hurt him, though, which is impressive. But that was what a piece of shit.

What an awful piece of shit to do that in a high school football i'm watching it in in quarter speed now i'm pretty sure he face masks the guy rips the helmet off and then it's in one motion swings back and swings forward and uh well quarter speed is really slow here we go he's got the yeah he grabs it i don't know if he is face man yeah he is and then he's gonna pop him in the head yeah he pulled the helmet off in his head jerks back when he hits it my um i didn't play football but a friend of mine did and uh he was always impressed by this the coach the coach had like just played for michigan or something he was kind of a badass and all the players were so impressed because he played D1 football.

And players would headbutt each other, right? It was a common thing that players would always headbutt each other. They'd get each other. This guy would headbutt the players, but the players were wearing a helmet, and he wasn't. And he would give it to them, and they always thought that was the coolest thing. So I guess somewhere right around here is the hardest spot in the uh on the head that's where he hit him so i guess you can take a punch

i know with with boxing you know like if you can't give him an elbow or something you can take a punch on the top of your like just above your forehead and does almost more damage to the guy's hand yeah it seems like a very inopportune place to punch someone just running the yeah that's it i i feel like i'm not talented enough to like break down the joe lozon defense but uh he does kind of a george foreman thing foreman used to do this too like you when he clamps up like that he's all fucking elbows and forehead There's nothing that you want to punch. And I had a very difficult time with it. I don't ever want to punch him. Yeah, well, that guy was a real piece of shit. He was.

He was. He was in high school. Penalized. Yeah, but that's something that you just don't do. That's not like a one-time freak out. That's like assault. Have you embarrassed don't do. Like that's not like a, a one time, you know, freak out. Have you ever, it's like assault.

Have you embarrassed yourself though? Like that? Of course. Yes. But not hurting someone like not an aggressive move to hurt someone. Like I've never embarrassed myself by like hitting someone in the face with a beer bottle. But you hit someone with your stick or like hit him between the legs or like as a

goalie never done the between the legs thing i i told the story where i hit somebody in the ankle pretty uh pretty soundly i would say it was a hard rap but not to well yeah i guess so but this is see aren't you in this like is it totally different or is it pretty freaking similar? It's a little similar. It's really similar. I'm embarrassed of this. And if you play hockey, you'll know this really violates hockey culture. I've told the story before. But there was a guy who was kind of getting the better of me.

I think we were grinding in a corner and I ended up falling. Grinding is the – you know what grinding is. Yeah, I know. The puck is against the boards and we're both trying to get it to our teammates, you know, pass it away so that it's to our advantage. And when he got the best of me and I ended up, like, on my ass, I kicked him, kicked at him. I don't think I hit anything.

But to kick at somebody with the bottom of your skates, even if it's his skates or shin pad like I was going at, in hockey is very frowned upon. It's like a cowardly, awful, not cool. A bit of a faux pas and also incredibly dangerous. Yeah.

Yeah. Those things are related. There's certain things in hockey, like third man in is another one where like, you know, if Taylor and I are in a fight and Kyle, you know, jumps in against me cause he and Taylor just,

you know, blood brothers. No, Kyle, there's like no situation in which they make it okay to be third man in. you know jumps in against me because he and taylor are just you know blood brothers no kyle there's like no situation in which they make it okay to be third man in and uh anyway so i see this guy and i think well in the heat of the moment without thinking it through i've done similar jackassery if it's not a pattern with him, maybe let it go. Well, not let it go. Suspend him from the game for a few games.

But, okay, you're convincing me. Stop making sense and let me judge this kid with impunity. I am better than him. Dude, especially for young people, I give him a big pass. I gave Duggar not a pass, but a... Who's Duggar? Duggar is that 19 and counting or something. One of their kids touched his sisters or something in an inappropriate way when he was 15 or 16.

And I guess, although I've never done that, I've never fondled my brother, I just feel like there's a justification to why they kind of wipe your records clean at 18. Like if you're 16, that maybe doesn't need to follow you throughout adulthood. People do idiotic stuff at 16. No,

I disagree. I think maybe you're some, some stuff maybe, but, but I think like this guy, he's molesting his, his sisters throughout his childhood. At some point we need to start writing that down. Like, like, like, this guy, he's molesting his sisters throughout his childhood. At some point, we need to start writing that down.

Like, if no one ever, like, goes, molested sister, October 1st, 1994. Then in 1997, when he rapes her, like, we're going to be like, ah, came out of nowhere. How are we going to be so stiff on this guy? We've never had any sign before. But no, no one was writing it down forever until his parents his parents were finally like someone should probably start writing this shit down and they report him to the cops that guy's a scumbag and the way that they pander to the religious right as some sort of shield to hold up and you got the palins and huckabees of the world jumping to their uh their defense just because they're also christians like like no no that guy's that that's a bad guy

he's he's sick he that's a sick guy like regardless of how you feel about pedophilia that guy's a pedophile he likes little kids more so than more so than jared of how you feel. Obviously, I'm pro-pedophile. There's a huge split among the population. I know a lot of you guys are pro-pedophilia, but there's peace talking here. But seriously, we nailed Jared Fogle's ass to a wall because he was trying to have sex with some 14 or 15-year-old

prostitutes. Meanwhile, this guy has been molesting his prepubescent sister for over a pattern of years. And I think it might've been a couple of siblings. And these kids are like eight when he would do it at one point and then 10 and another point. Nah, nah. And you know, what's going on all in between. Don't think that he molested the kid once when, when she was eight and then like took a few years off and then suddenly got caught the first time he tried it again you know several years later no he's molested his children his sister sisters

throughout their childhood i i would guarantee it bad guy nail him to the wall don't let don't forget i don't know how hot were the sisters they were like eight like they were about an eight i um yeah obviously it's bad behavior right there's no doubt about it i just you know when i think of my own like justice system that i would create i i feel like the purging of the records at 18 and giving people a fresh start it makes a lot of let me try to sway you let me try to make it here's's the difference. When I was 16 or 17, I did a lot of silly stuff. I liked to break mailboxes. That was fun, I thought.

I liked to egg houses. Not usually of strangers. That was usually directed towards someone I didn't like. Lots of juvenile stuff like that. Like petty crimes. Just destruction of property, mostly. I feel like, yeah. There's no reason not to expunge that had I gotten in a lot of trouble when I was 16 or 17 for crushing mailboxes. Because that's clearly a

juvenile thing. It's just I was bored. I had frustrations to work out. It was a not much to do around here kind of thing. This is different, though. The reason you expunge my record is because I'm going to mature when I turn 20 and I'm not going to be into breaking mailboxes I'm going to be into GPAs so that's okay meanwhile you got this guy

GPA as in grade point averages my grade point average you didn't go to college hypothetical me hypothetical me I'm just saying, you know, I also didn't get arrested for destruction of property. Hypothetical me.

I'm just saying, destruction of property and those silly crimes like that should be expunged because it's an immature person acting out and doing something that's natural, I feel like. All young guys do that sort of stuff in one way or another. Maybe you don't drive right around crashing mailboxes but you did something but this guy

has been molesting his siblings throughout childhood but there's a pattern he was a child too and don't you think that he was he was he was a teenager he's a teenager 17 he's a teenager molesting actual children i don't think 17 is a child. I think 17 is a grown-ass adult who can make some pretty big-time decisions. I think, especially at 17, people make some pretty bad sexual decisions. They're still figuring shit out.

When I was 16, I was fully aware I couldn't fuck the freshman. I was fully aware at 16, don't fuck the freshman. You'll get in trouble. At 16, I knew this. And there were 18 year olds fucking the freshman. But I knew better. Because I'm not a moron. This guy is fucking his sisters throughout childhood

and you're like, I bet. No, he's not fucking them. He's finger banging them then. I thought the finger action was on top of the panties. I have no idea. I don't even want to talk about the intricacies of it. But it is wildly inappropriate no matter what he did like that's I really don't think we can minimize this I feel like molestation is molestation. I don't think the little girl saying like looking back like no

I'm not damaged at all. It was above the panties guys above the panties. I'm a fully formed human being no No, she's still fucked up cuz she got like Masturbated or something by her brother like throughout childhood. And like I was saying before, there's no way this happened two or three times or whatever the reports say or however many times the parents. How far would it have to go in your own household before you report your own child to the police? I think they didn't. I think they told a friend policeman. It was definitely around for years if they finally turned him in because you know that they had a bunch of discussions with him beforehand.

Like, we walked in on you again doing this with your sister. That was part of the thing. He never faced court. He never got real therapy. They told a friend who was a policeman, and he kind of handled it informally. How bad does it have to be before you do that? They had a 10-strike policy. They clearly had a

teenager that we know of there's a lot of pitches we never saw yeah with no learning disabilities no excuses no no reason to say well but you know in reality this 15 year old's a seven year old he's exploring no you've got a child molester in this duger guy or whatever the fuck his name is and he's going to continue to molest i bet he's molested since and he'll molest her and this Duggar guy or whatever the fuck his name is. And he's going to continue to molest. I bet he's molested since and he'll molest again because that's what sexual predators do. Bill Cosby didn't rape 50 women because he had a hard time getting pussy. Sexual predators do it. If they do it once,

they'll do it again and again and again. The Duggar guy shouldn't have his record expunged because we need to be writing it down and remembering. So the next time he molests a child, it's the last time. I can, I agree with that. Definitely. I feel like he's making his point so well, but

he hasn't convinced me that he's right. I just, again, people are idiots. Would you feel confident with looking after small children that were yours? No. Of course not. Why would you want something in place out there to at least put him on a different level than than you are when it comes to him being allowed around small children

shouldn't everyone with small children who ever lives near this guy know i would want to know i got two little girls who are seven and eight doogers living next door the guy who likes to rub them above their panties a little i I don't want to... You're not rubbing my daughter above her panties or above anything. Like, no. Like, there's no acceptable way to masturbate my seven-year-old daughter, sir. There's a compromise between what both of you guys are saying.

Like, an extreme sexual predator who does it repeatedly. Yeah, you need to keep tabs on that. You can't just ignore it and pretend like it didn't happen. Like, oh, you know, boys will be boys. Like, you can't pull that shit. that shit but if you know if it's something like breaking a mailbox or you get caught with a little bit of pot or something and you're 16 like a little like petty theft shoplifting wipe that off that's probably just pubescent idiocy that's hopefully not a trend of the future but some shit is just beyond the pale

which yeah i i think that that and it would be different if they were like kids playing doctor because because that and i feel like that's what the family has been trying that's the damage control mode right that's what everyone wants to do uh that's what the palins and huckabees want to go to that and they want to talk about christian forgiveness as if that works in the criminal justice system that a but that's bullshit now now it's it wasn't real kids playing doctor you had and almost adult fifteen sixteen seventeen year old and you had seven-year at the seven-year-old like like like

i'm not sure if you're i know you numbers on the as alter our good fifteen to seventeen at the kind of child I'm not sure. Seven, eight, nine years old, it wouldn't matter to me if she was 10. She's in that range. I think the age of the victim changed over the years. I think maybe it began when she was six or seven and was happening during the eighth and ninth years or something.

Yeah, it's getting pretty hard to defend. As a general philosophy, I do like the idea of giving people a clean slate at 18 because people are idiots when they're young. Um, but I'm also starting to be winning me over on the, yeah, but some things we remember, you know,

and it also, it's true. Like if he committed this, you know, sexual assault at seven, I'd be more inclined to forgive it than 17. Don't even care. Don't even care.

If two seven-year-olds are fucking like... The parents should be in trouble, but the children shouldn't. Why do those seven-year-olds know how to fuck? Little problem there. You guys are watching the Discovery Channel too much over there. Maybe, and I'm sure that could even happen.

But at 17, you start to try him as an adult. I feel like he knew what he was doing. you over there maybe and I'm sure that could even happen but but but but it's 17 you know you start to try him as an adult I feel like he knew what he was doing he knew what he was doing was wrong for sure I feel like his parents knew what he was doing I bet it was just like that Chris Rock routine where he was talking about like everybody's got an uncle who's this or that he's like everybody got the gay uncle everybody's got and everybody got that molester uncle he's like everybody's got that molester uncle your mom will be like where's them kids like with johnny ah get them kids away from johnny get away from uncle johnny like he's yeah everybody's got the molester uncle too and you

don't let him near him i guarantee the parents to go along with that we're like yeah let's not leave bill with the girls like like we're going on vacation who's gonna watch the kids i'll watch your mom and dad like i'll look after the girls nah actually we're going on vacation who's gonna watch the kids i'll watch your mom and dad like i'll look after the girls nah actually we're gonna send you to that camp again this year like like no there's something wrong that guy i i don't like him i i hate their whole family and and everything they're for and i and i really despise the way that like uh palin and huckabee and and and even the sean hannity of the world, those motherfuckers, will jump right into their coin.

I didn't know anyone was defending them. Yeah, Huckabee in particular. Kim Winslow's another one. I'm not familiar. I hope I have her name right. She's the one that didn't want to issue the marriage license. Oh, that's not the right name then. Kim Davis? Yeah.

Oh. Kim Winslow is a MMA referee. Is that a female MMA referee? Yes, yeah. Is she hot? Fair enough. That's a no? No, she's in shape, but she's just not pretty.

I only cared if you were like, yes. Kim Davis. I was going to check. Let's hope this fight gets out of hand and she's got to jump in there. Yeah, Kim Davis is the one. It doesn't. She is so unattractive. She is what I think of as a very common churchgoer, right?

Like churchgoer slash Walmart shopper. Did you see the talking about that like talking about kim davis in the debates where they took it the complaint because the way i see it yeah she should be shouldn't be in jail but she should be fired like i think she's an elected official so that probably throws some i think she's you know salt into that game but i mean you have to uphold the law. You can't just suddenly be like, oh, no, this isn't OK with me. You know, I I'm not I'm not marrying you. I know it's my job literally to do this.

The guy at Long John Silver's can't take your order. And then when he sees your black, when you pull up, be like, oh, no hush puppies for you, sir. Like you can't can't pull that shit. You're working for a company that you can't just selectively decide who to serve. But they were saying, I think it was Rubio who was saying something along the lines of like, we just need to make a list of what conservatives, what jobs can conservative Christians not have in this country? Can we not be caterers? Can we not work in the government anymore to fight for our freedoms, to take away rights from other people? Like did you hear that whole diatribe?

I've heard a lot about this, and I've done a lot of thinking about this. And I even heard in the debate they were talking about the various candidates had different thoughts about it. So here's what I think. It sounds, on one hand, it seems that she's saying, basically, my religion says this is wrong. I refuse to do it despite the fact that I'm sworn to uphold the law or to carry out the law in my duties. That seems a lot like the Saudi Arabians or some other theocratic Middle Eastern group imposing Sharia law on someone and saying,

no, you have to do this because the Quran says this or that. At the same time, however, you would hope that America would be a place where if you do feel, if you do have this issue that she has, where clearly it's not just bigotry. I don't think that. I think,

while I do think she is probably a bigot, I don't think that it's her bigotry motivating her here. I really do believe it's her faith, which I don't sign off on, but it's still a real thing. I feel like faith is... She wouldn't go to jail over bigotry. She will go to jail over faith. Well, I just feel like the faith inspires the bigotry. There's really not a lot of difference.

If you go back to the 50s, when faith was stopping interracial marriages, that was still bigotry. Now, in the modern day, when faith is stopping same-sex marriages, it's just bigotry. It's our version of the race wars. I can see her side of it to some extent, although I just strongly disagree with it.. I would think that it would be more appropriate in this sort of scenario to have one of her deputies sign the thing than to put her in jail.

It just seems like jailing her because of this doesn't... For some reason, it feels wrong. I think... You won't find a bigger proponent for gay marriage than me. I really don't even fucking get it. And whenever those nasty fucking huckabees of the world want to compare it to marrying a dog,

my instant response is, yes, we should be able to marry the dogs too. Marry the dogs, the turtles, a rock. I should be able to marry any inanimate or animate object or thing I wish to because it's me, motherfucker. Don't fuck with me. That should be the end of it. And if she's jamming up the legal process, then that's no good. She's either got to go or she's got to do her job unless there's a deputy there who can sign the thing

right on through and everybody can just walk away happy. You don't have to force her into a corner to make her do a thing and be like do it or else like you can't make her believe what you believe just like she can't make you believe what she believes just find a compromise in that sort of scenario i'm somewhere along the middle in here trump said she's in the wrong job and i'm like yeah yeah she really is now what if she was self-employed she was a caterer and she said i don't do gay weddings I feel like she shouldn't have to know I feel like you know like I can't while I think she should I think it's mean and rude and bigoted they probably better too my

it's mean and it's rude and it's bigoted to not you know cater a gay marriage I also feel like it's your freedom to do that i can't compel you to serve a gay person what if it's a black person same thing you know you should be able to kick pick and choose the jobs that you can do you know it's almost a self-healing thing in a way like every time something like that happens the reason we know about that catering story is because a company refused to cater a gay wedding like that nobody's going to use that company anymore like the market's gonna make its decision well there may be some but i feel like those companies they're all making huge mistakes themselves yeah they're making big

mistakes you come to me so you come to my christian conservative christian bakery and want a birthday cake jim and bob you're gonna get the worst tasting bird uh wedding cake you've it's gonna be lumpy it's gonna be awful it's not even all gonna be the same color i'm gonna run out of the fucking fontaine or whatever and i'm gonna have to go to like blue on the back side of the cake and look here you go it's the best i could do what if as a way to be like terrible you jerked off in the cake and they loved it. Right? Because they're gay. Why would a person who's against the gay do that? I'll show them!

Now it sounds like you're just like a closeted gay baker who's like, I'll show you what a tight ass is and your ripped abs. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Sounds like I was coming from a dark place. You know, it's worse than spitting in the food, right? Like you're jerking off on the two grooms on the cake. Baggots. You're so dirty. Yeah. Yeah, my mom watches this show. Well, I mean, you already insulted all the churchgoers,

so I'm sure she's already tuned away by now. She's on the way to get your father right now. She's not hearing this. It your father right now she's not hearing this it's it's yeah there's i when i was my father told me about how he found faith and it gave him sort of a happiness and contentness and etc and and that was what made me think about the heroine his story of finding god and plugging that hole in himself. And, uh, it just, it, it brought like a piece to him.

And, uh, yeah, I don't know. Just like heroin. Was there a hair out of life? Yeah. Yeah.

I like, like I grabbed mine and like put it back with the rest and Taylor's like, yeah, let me get that fucker back. A little character. Yeah. There you here. Oh, yeah. A little Superman cosplay. I can't even do that.

I have a whole new topic. I think you guys want to hear about it. Chiz is living at my place here, helping me out and all wrapped up to the subreddit fussing at him. You want Chiz talk? Yeah, I want to do...

Can I open this? Please. Can I give my thoughts? I want Chiz talk with respect to Chiz. You've been with him closer than us. I don't want to tread on anything that... Go ahead, Kyle. Yeah, okay.

So, all right. So here's the state of Chiz, as it were. All right, so Chiz came along on that survival trip, even though, you know, he's not one of the hosts or anything. He showed up and did his thing. I was reading through the comments on the subreddit, and I thought somebody made a good point. They said something like, wings wouldn't

drive a couple hours to do this thing. Meanwhile, Chiz, under his own expense, took a fucking stagecoach across the country to suffer for this thing. Now, while it's clear that Chiz wasn't out there hacking down trees, he wasn't out there starting fires and doing great entertaining things, he was out there and that was a big part of it.

Just going on that trip is a big step that most people refuse to make or can't make, but he made sure that he did do it and he came out there. As far as him always seemingly to be sitting there smoking cigarettes and sitting in that hammock, a lot of the filming happened when we were relaxing in the evenings. And we all had kind of the same spot we'd relax in. And that was his. He was smoking a lot. But he's a smoker.

I had no problem with that. Ex-smoker. Ex-smoker. He was a smoker. So, look. Did Chiz do an outstanding job on the survival trip? No, of course not. He was struggling with it for a lot of reasons, and he's got tons of excuses, but I never

heard him really make too many. He just did the best he could and suffered through it. I don't know why you guys are giving him such a hard time. I know there's a vocal minority who absolutely despise him. I think there's also a not-so-vocal minority that like him a lot, and the rest of you may be lukewarm or something. The truth is, he's a really great guy. He's funny to me. I think he's entertaining, and he works for this show harder than any of us, I think. I know Woody does all the graphic work, and he's putting in some time behind the scenes, but Chiz really

puts a lot of time in behind the scenes for the show like he's running down sponsors and stuff and and he's as big a part of why this show things like the survival trip even happened as any of us are like Chiz really made that survival trip happen he was the the architect of the survival trip so I wish you guys wouldn't be so hard on him I know you think it's playful I see you guys posting things like let's roast Chiz but people don't like being roasted. That's funny on TV when it's a celebrity, and they're volunteering to be roasted because of all the free advertising that they're getting. No one wants to be roasted. No one wants to be picked on. And it's a lot of mean juvenile stuff. It's a lot of hurtful stuff. And I just wish you guys wouldn't do it, because he's a great guy.

He works harder for this show that you guys claim to love than anyone, and he doesn't do it because he's a he's a great guy he works harder for this show that you guys claim to love than anyone and he doesn't deserve it chis he works chis people are talking about you someone compared of the jimmy on grand theft auto i'm a little out of place here because i haven't even played the new game or a little bit but whatever i don't know jimmy but my impression was that jimmy doesn't really have his act together and chiz does. Chiz has his act together in a lot of ways, except one, and that's fitness, and he's fixing it. And I just don't get where all this fussing comes from. And I think that some people, they don't know what it's like to be on the other side

of the one-sided relationship. You might feel like you know Chiz and that your jokes are just jokes, but he doesn't know you, and they come across as hate from a stranger. You've probably never had hate from a stranger. You've probably never had

two weeks of what seems like hundreds of people just constantly attacking you and you think that nothing should happen. I'm getting a clue on who Jimmy is. It's not a not compliment Jimmy does net now if you had to actually pick a youtuber who look like Jimmy who would

you say I don't know you think it's cool shift oh I know who you're thinking of but I don't think it's a compliment and I don't want to say it out loud or So I wouldn't say it out loud. Exactly. They do this all the time. They sort of like, oh look, he's Jimmy. But you're clearly like, it's a dig. You're clearly picking on shit. Do you want to be Jimmy? You know, whatever they say.

Who's the comedian who's very good at roasting people? Jim Norton? Is that his name? I don't know how many roasts he does. He went to a prison recently and made fun of people. I think it is Jim Norton. Oh, it might be Jim. I know Greg Giraldo is really good, but he's dead.

Yeah, he is. Yeah. He's dead? Greg Giraldo? I think he died in, like, 2010. He died before Patrice O'Neill did. Well, that's a damn shame. Yeah.

Anyway, I got someone who recently was saying that i look like jim norton is this the guy you want to look like i'll give you a link this is also jimmy oh they said you look like jim norton yeah they said i look just like this guy nothing like jim norton i don't i i have short hair i just don't really think I look like him. I have this theory that our fans are retarded. Because whenever they come up with a lookalike for one of us, it's just like, first of all, it's rarely complimentary. And when it is complimentary, like when you compare me to some hockey player

or some football player somewhere that is good looking or whatever, I'm like, yeah, that's a good looking guy, but he doesn't look like me. You'll a guy who like has like my mouth and like oh look it's kyle it's kyle it's kyle's brother like no it's just a guy with my mouth like like like like no like like or it's a white guy look it's kyle you know that's a white guy that's that's white guy like like no like you guys are so bad i want to put that thing in front of you with, like, the stars and the squares and the circles where you got to put them all in the holes. Because, like, I don't think it really worries me if one of you motherfuckers had to give, like, a police sketch. Because they'd arrest me right away.

They'd arrest me right away. You'd be like, it looks just like Kyle. That's who it looks like. Like, no matter what. It's shocking how the people that you people think look like me or Taylor or? Woody or chin don't even have people most of the time. They're just like oh you look like the the owls and owls pop Character with like an eyebrow Any fat guy with facial hair is wings

Like anyone with with sort of a similar facial structure to woody or myself is us like like get me pretty good with that guy at the beginning of inglorious bastards i think that guy looks like you yeah yes that one's pretty much lapidate but you look like as far as cheese goes uh milk cheese is doing great work for PKA. He books all the guests. We didn't have a guest tonight because of two things. One, the guest he had booked canceled two hours beforehand. I don't even know who it was.

And we asked Chiz if he wanted to fill in, and he said, no. You guys are giving me such a hard time. I think that I should take a break. You know, lay low for a little bit. And that's why there's three of us tonight. So, you know, some of you are probably happy about that. But I'm not.

I wish you guys would back off a little bit. I like having Chiz on the show. He's fun to bounce off of. Chiz is a smart guy. Chiz is smarter than most of the guests we get on here. He's smarter than most of the people I talk to on a daily basis. And he talks to me a lot. You are in Georgia.

So, I'm sure. Taylor said, you are in Georgia. That's how I miss it. I didn't hear what he said. Oh, and Chiz is helping me around here. I'm really pleased with how it's going. He works. He never complains.

And he's not an expert in construction. Neither am I for that matter, but I'm much further along than he is. And you know what he does? He helps when he sees something he can do. And that's all I really want. If I'm carrying something heavy, he automatically grabs the other side. If I'm carrying something heavy he automatically grabs the other side if uh if I'm doing something that like I don't know a lot of the things we do involve like almost monkey bar activity uh he's gonna see this I want to see this monk and I want you to really play it up I want I want like a I want you to make it seem like everything has to be done this way if I can describe what he's doing he's like he's got these rafters above him,

and he's standing on a ladder, so what he'll do to move around quicker is sometimes he'll hold onto the rafter and just grab the ladder with his legs and move it to where it needs to go. Sometimes he'll just monkey bar around out there. He's doing some monkey construction. I want to see that. It's an old stable, so if you can imagine,

their walls are 10 feet wide, right? So if I need to go from one wall to the other, I'll just go, go, go, and then I'm on the other wall and I can kind of stand there. Or a lot of times there'll be a ladder in the middle and it's only five feet to carry, so I'll just, I monkey all over, hang, put a nail in, couple nails in, do my job.

So Chiz is not the monkey bar guy, that's not one of the things he can do yet. But if I'm doing that, today, for example, I was doing that, and he was cutting all the boards to size. So I would say, I need one that's 20 and 5 eighths, and then he'd make that happen. He'd deliver it to me. I'd put it in place, and we're working together.

And he never complains. He never stops working. And there are times when I see him, not frequently, but sometimes he's bent over, exhausted. You can almost imagine the headache he has, that he's worked himself as hard as he can work. And he's like that. Not even a cigarette to calm himself.

And he doesn't say a word. He just takes the breath he needs and gets back to work. And it's encouraging to me. Like I see, like I've gone out of shape and come back into shape several times. And I know how awful it is. And it's like, yeah, he's paying the toll right now. The toll that it is to get back in shape. I can see him doing it.

And, you know, week by week it'll get better and better. Do you have him on a workout regimen? No like no no this isn't any kind of fat camp he's just out there we we put in probably four hours a day or something like the on average um it's like working out building something for four hours a day that's a lot of work that's about right yeah and um you know the last couple days we've been taking uh two by six by12 foot and 2x6x14 foot rafters and putting them in place. We also have these 10 foot 2x12 pressure treated headers that we've been putting in place. It's heavy stuff to be pulling around and holding above your head and nailing in place. And we do it all day long.

And he's been great. So leave him the fuck alone everybody. You're being kind of a jerk. Yeah, Chip's a great guy and doesn't deserve all that shit yeah no one should give chip a hard time he's gonna be mad at me for continuing this but uh he's fine yeah chis is a good guy don't pick yeah and i'm not just saying this like um i don't know like i i i uh i know his finances and i don't know how much he'd want me to talk about them but i can tell you he's got his act together and uh a lot of people

don't see him as successful i see him as a pre-millionaire the way that he earns and the way that he saves is he's on the path and um uh i you know and and you know they see him as like incompetent or not hard working all those things are off target um you know the only thing that's on target is that he's currently heavy and working it off yeah leave him the fuck alone it'd be an all-star jack of all trades once he gets that weight off yeah which i mean he's he said he was like 300 he's what's a goal weight for someone that height like one yeah he's 63 i think um at 63 180 sounds 190 at 63 i i think if he hit 210 he'd look pretty good yeah he can he can do better he can get down into those ones and I think once he gets down there low He'll really want to see see that one. Yeah

Or maybe he'll start working out a fuck ton Get that bear bod So I just searched cuz I know I'm comfortable 170, 175-ish. Could be a little thinner. Oh, you're right, actually. It looks like ideal weight ends at 199 for his weight. Huh. I would have gone a little higher.

It's just a chart. Who knows? But, yeah, 199. Yeah. Okay. Well, he's losing weight.'s not smoking helping build shit yeah he's not smoking and sometimes i wonder like am i sure he's not smoking but dude like cigarette smoke to a non-smoker is the most very pungent you can pick it out right away yeah i swear you could pick out like someone smoked in that shirt three days ago like it you'd never buy a car that is smoker own i i think he just totally quit cold turkey weeks ago

like if you go to a friend's house and like spend the night there or something and you need extra clothes and that friend's a smoker and they take like a clean shirt out for you it's not like overwhelming that you smell cigarettes but you smell it like you you smell like stale sig smoke when that happens like of course they don't notice it just like you know you don't notice the smell of your cat's litter box even though everybody who walks in is like a fucking ammonia factory but people notice that stuff kyle yes mid-roll. Abso-fucking-lutely. Alright. Did you just put a hoodie on, or did you have that on before?

I had it on before. It's cold down here. I actually, um, I'll talk about it after this. Casper is an online retailer of premium mattresses for a fraction of the price. The mattress industry has inherently forced consumers into paying notoriously high markups. Casper is revolutionizing the mattress industry by cutting the cost of dealing with resellers and showrooms and passing that savings directly to the consumer, while still being an American-made mattress. A Casper mattress provides resilience and

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I am muted. Didn't want the sound of... Well well anyway so what could that sound have been so many nefarious acts that you can do in a minute but uh this is gonna be a fog rolling in across the thing we should talk about the clock kid. Ah, yeah. Ahmed Muhammad, right? The clock kid Muhammad. I will say this about the Arab people.

It seems like... Is it us, too? Is it all people? Do we all have these names that repeat? We're not all named John Smith. I don't know any John Smiths. How many Wins do you... If they're Vietnamese, they're all named

Wins. 60% of them are. Spanish names seem very... Mexican names seem... There's tons of really common ones. Here is Ahmed Muhammad. I hear that name constantly, so it's really easy to never forget

this poor child's name. I was interested in this story when I first saw it. I followed it from the beginning to the end. Can I lay it out there? Please. So apparently this kid, he's 14 years old. He's a Muslim student in Texas. Is it, I want to say it's the Sudan that he's from.

And that I do know for a fact that his father regularly returns home to the home country to run for president They seem like very that's a thing. Yeah, they seem like very nice people, but here's what happened He goes to school, and he's got a homemade digital clock He assembled components in this little briefcase thing and it's a digital clock and I looked at and immediately said that's a digital clock There's no explosive digital clock in a briefcase This sounds very much

like the bomb from Search and Destroy. That's true. Yeah, minus the big bricks of plastic explosives. Like, what he had at best was a timer. He had a digital clock. You can look at the components, and I'm no electrical engineer,

but I can identify two of them, and I know that third one probably is a capacitor of some kind. It does look a little sketchy when it's turned off and there's that red plate up there and it's like, what's behind that plate? So I can understand them wanting to look at it and sift through it. Yeah, sure. Definitely want to look at what you've got there, Ahmed.

But once I looked at it for literally like 40 seconds, I'd be like, this is really cool, man. Did you do this from a kit? Did you buy these components separately? Did you disassemble and reassemble? How'd you do this? You're a smart little kid. Move on about your day. Instead, the faculty freaked out, called law enforcement. Law enforcement treated this kid like he was a junior terrorist. I'm reading some reports where they're quoting the section codes of the law book

and they're saying that his rights were trampled upon but regardless of that I could tell just from him repeating what the officer said to him and from some of the other stuff that was out there like the way they were speaking to this kid they were treating him like he was a junior terrorist they were being really

accusatory they were accusing him of building a bomb and asking him why he's bringing it. They don't ask you, did you build a bomb? They say, why did you bring a bomb to school? That's the kind of questioning we're talking about. So they really treated him like shit. It was a while before his parents got in there and got him out of there. He's still currently suspended by the school. But here's the best part. As soon as the internet found out about this, of course everyone rallies to this kid's side. He's got three million retweets or something on Obama's tweet to the kid or something like that. Obama invites him to the White House.

He says something like, I'm going to paraphrase, he says something like, cool clock, why don't you bring it by the White House? And I feel like he's doing two things. One, he's taking a real jab at the law enforcement and the faculty down there who stirred all this shit up. He's saying, that's a cool clock you got there. He's just looking at a picture of it. Cool clock. Basically saying any rational adult would come to the same conclusion. It's a cool clock.

Why don't you bring it to the White House? I feel like he's really just rubbing shit and all of those people's faces That's one and then he's pandering to all hell on the back of an easy, you know Roller coaster really is there nothing he can do he does shit all any president or politician did this it part of you know Who is you know who he had, you know, you know who he had over the White House the day before yesterday He had those heroes who stopped that gunman in Paris. He's always inviting people over who have done cool things in the world and the community, and he's always doing that sort of thing, whether that's pandering or not.

You better tweet me and say, cool stable when this shit's all wrapped up. Yeah, cool stable. Want to stop by the White House and go to space camp? So then, world-famous astronaut Chris Hadfield tweets the kid and gives him some ticket to some magical space camp. NASA is tweeting at him. MIT and Harvard are. They're not giving him a scholarship or anything. They're like, come here.

We want to treat you to whatever we have. Is he 14? Yeah, 14. We should totally tweet him and be like, hey, cool clock. Why don't you come over to my house and check out the auto blow? He could be a PKA guest.

That's a tweet for you. That definitely is for you. That'll fit right in. But I like this a lot. I have two thoughts. I don't know which is funnier. One, what if this kid's a real dumb dumb, right? What if this kid just a real dumb-dumb, right? Like, what if this kid just, like,

connected some wires together, and, like, the clock doesn't even work. He got in a bunch of shit. He just gnawed out a hole with his teeth in the briefcase and stuck a clock in it. Now, you know, an accidental, maybe his parents put it together for him. You know, my parents helped me build my solar oven

in the third grade. I was fucking eight. Like, what were you going to do? You got to help me. So, like, I'm sure his parents helped with his digital clock right like what if what if he's a real dumb dumb though and now he's got to go to mit he's got to go to harvard he's got to go to fucking nasa then he's got to go to the white house and he's got to keep up the lie of being really smart like this sounds like a great mini series like i want the cameras to follow this kid

and and and him to be way out of his depth. He has to explain all of it every time. Like, the nice little questions they ask, just trying to be nice. Like, how did you build the clock? I smashed another clock with a hammer and I put it back together again. It's like, oh, what? This isn't what we thought. Well, Papa, he started by disassembling our clock. But the other thought is this.

What if this is a master ISIS plan? This guy has been going back and forth to a dangerous part of the world. Maybe he's bringing instructions back. Maybe he's been programming that child since birth to carry out one mission and one mission only. Blow up the president of the United States. And that fake clock he made that looked like a bomb is actually a bomb and he's gonna ingredient short he's gonna run a short yeah and and where's that ingredient held in the oval office

yeah that would be i saw that uh on 4chan they were discussing the possibility what if he's a terrorist what if he's actually like like gonna go go kill obama now like that would be the that would be the most ridiculous storyline ever yeah funny things to say about it one of someone was like uh he should join the cool clocks clan some witty creative people over there there's a lot of original content um but yeah i was i was upset by this thing when i first heard about it because it's like texas you embarrass yourself like every other day like like i love texas and like what i feel like texas stands for i love it i feel like it's all about individualism and and uh you know this this idea of uh self-reliance and even the like there's three power grids in the United States. Three major ones.

There's the East, the West, and Texas. That's a real thing. They have their own power grid. A lot of Texans consider themselves an entity unto themselves. We're kind of in the United States of America, but first and foremost, we're fucking Texas.

I like the bravado they have. Hawaii does that too. Fuck them. Anytime we want We're fucking Texas. I don't like that. I like the bravado they have. Hawaii does that too. Fuck them. Anytime we want Hawaii. Any fucking time we want. Pineapple eating savages. So this thing with Texas though, I like Texas.

I like the whole history of Texas. We took that shit. Those Mexicans were down there living it up in old Mexico. And we were like, nah, that's Texas, motherfucker. And we just took that shit. I like that. I don't care what anybody thinks. I like that.

What I don't like is the bigotry. Come on. Clearly, this wouldn't have happened, I don't think, if this kid was white. Although nowadays with the zero tolerance policies that many of the schools have, if you chew your Pop-Tart until it looks like a pistol, they'll suspend you.

That's a thing that's happened. That's ridiculous. You can take one bite out of your pop-tart till it looks like a pistol they'll suspend you like that's a thing that's happened that's ridiculous you can take one bite out of a pop-tart and make a reasonable pistol that's the problem that's yeah limiting people's freedom to eat shapes into whatever he ate into a pistol and then like mock shot another child that was a that was a that was a suspension zero tolerance policies just don't work uh at all i i don't believe in in in really any scenario really your tolerance and um uh what is it called mandatory minimums that's what i'm looking for no no it's it's it takes away the context of all the situations and what could be going on. Let the judges judge. It's what they do.

Yes, I agree. But yeah, Texas really embarrassed themselves there with this thing with Ahmed Muhammad. His dad and his parents and himself have all been taking the super smart move and taking the high road big time. Like we described it earlier um Ahmed's father brought pizzas out to the media that are like all in their yard like there's like 20 30 cameramen 10 or 15 more crew probably 30 neighbors out there everybody's stopping and staring dude comes outside with pizzas for everybody like that's a that's a that's a big league move

that's that's smart like like you could have came out there like Britney Spears and beat them up with an umbrella and made yourself look like a piece of shit or a piece of trash, but instead really took the high road, and they look great. So when that sleeper cell activates and the White House explodes next week, you'll all know why.

Do you think he was passive-aggressive with the pizzas? Like Little Caesars anchovy pizza? He had dominoes, I think. He looked like a really genuinely nice guy. And so did the kid. The picture of that kid, though, like, who took that picture of him in handcuffs being led away? Did you ever stop to think that? Like, who took that picture?

Wait, they might not think that he was a true danger. Get a picture of this nefarious felon before we tote him off. I haven't seen anyone bring that up. And to the audience out there, check on this for me, because I don't know how to figure it out. Who took that picture and under what circumstance? Well, I know the circumstance. He's being led away by the police out of what looks like the principal's office

in handcuffs, and someone snapped a picture. And you can see the look on the kid's face says what i think it's like why what are you doing like is my day not bad enough like i just got arrested for bringing my clock to school and you're documenting you're taking a snapshot you think that like i know that everybody handled it so poorly the whole way, but even if there was, like, a teacher who thought reasonably about it, like we were talking about with, like, the mandatory, you know, things you have to do when something like this happens, like, even if they thought it was ridiculous, they probably still would have had to go through this huge rigmarole of nonsense,

not to the same extent, but they still would have to harass this kid and do a bunch of shit, I would think. Like, if they could do it with Pop pop tarts and making guns with your hands those are like crazy instances of that stuff happening and i feel like i would hope that that the most common scenario and i guess it is because this shit isn't rampant is that there's like some people have common sense and they can look at what was in that briefcase and tell that there aren't any explosives in there that you've just got electrical components you've got like a and i'm not electrical engineer again but it looks like there's like a pastor thing there a battery some

wiring a digital display a circuit board like which part explodes which part goes bang and what are the purpose what's the purpose of the other parts? Just stop for a second, think rationally before you dial 911. And clearly the kid could explain it. I'm sure he was like, this is a clock. It tells time, you see? Like, look. I should be in gym

right now. It even has a countdown mode. They'd have knocked his fucking brains out. Yeah, i bet they wouldn't let him touch it i bet it wasn't about i bet he was like if you just let me touch it stay down stay down like led changes colors shut the fuck up bet you thought you're gonna go jihad on us didn't you boy tell you what time it is it's's ass-whooping time, Ahmed.

What's your name, Ahmed Muhammad? Well, that's already two strikes, and this looks like three. Some kind of a shake or something? Yeah, it is. I do wonder that, like the name thing you were talking about. Are we just as unoriginal with our names? I don't think so, because our three names here, I know all of our names aren't exactly public. But, like, our three names.

And think about, like, Chiz's name. Like, all of our names are very different. They sound different. There's multiple. Some of our names are very short, as in, like, you know, there aren't very many syllables. Some of them are long. Like, Matt Woodworth is a long name. It seems like we have a lot more just even amongst

the really common names like smith or thompson i don't know what the most common ones are i think those are two johnson i don't know but you don't go around and one in four people you meet is like oh this is eric thompson that's john thompson uh steve thompson come on over i'm introducing the whole gang to you guys and then then there's the five Smiths, we call them. The Smithies! Yeah, that's how it is, though, with them. It's like, hi, I'm Muhammad, and this is

Muhammad, and Muhammad, and Muhammad, and that's Mo. Call him Mo for short. His name's Muhammad, too, though. All of them! They roll dice for their names, and it's like, Muhammad is on five sides, and then Ahmed is on one. names and it's like muhammad is on five sides and then ahmed is on one and so it's like oh this guy you're gonna stand out in class like i feel like if we sat down and like wrote down the most popular the the eight or nine arabic

names we can think of we just don't know enough and like shook them together we we could we would start pulling ones that were from oh oh, Osama bin Laden. Yeah, yeah. Well, hell, there's only five. Yeah. There's only so many possibilities it could be. Saddam Hussein. Told you.

Again. Yeah, yeah. I think it's just because there's so much tradition behind it. There's no need for them to name somebody, you know, Tim or something. It's like that doesn't have any historical significance. And it's because it's okay for them to name someone Muhammad like their prophet. Nobody names their kid

Jesus here. If that were acceptable, I bet there would be... I'm saying... Okay, you're right, with Mexican people. Like Jesus, but if there were white people walking around with Jesus and that were acceptable, I bet there'd be a lot of Jesuses out there.

I think if you have long hair, you should have at least one outfit that you wear frequently that is a Jesus outfit. Like a robe, a staff. Everyone with long hair has to walk around looking like a vagabond maniac. Just the guys. Yeah, yeah. I think you should do a Jesus day once a week. Women have a Virgin Mary day. I have a new topic. Yeah, what. I think you should do a Jesus Day once a week. Women have a Virgin Mary Day. I have a new topic. Yeah, what you got?

So somebody wrote me on Reddit. And because this is a Patreon benefit, I really cut back. One in a hundred. I get a lot of letters all the time. But this one I thought was just good for the show. So anyway, don't go thinking there's a freeway on the show. This is an exception. Found out my girl is a bit of a Jesus freak. I'd love some advice.

I present this to you, the panel. Hey, Woody, I'm a huge fan of PKA, and I love the new places it's going with the survival trips. So anyways, I'm not going to give his age away, but he's a teenager, wrapping up high school before too long. So anyways, I'm not going to give his age away, but he's a teenager. Wrapping up high school before too long. And I've gotten in a pretty serious relationship, if that's a thing at my age.

We've known each other for three years, and last June, I got the balls to ask her out. I knew she was Christian, but it didn't really bother me. I'm secular, but not uber anti-religion, so I figured, eh, I like her. It's no biggie. Well, I was wrong. She won't even kiss me. She'll give me a hug hug and that's about it. She's one of those sexist for marriage girls. Heck, if I make a joke that's slightly edgy at all,

she gets uncomfortable like a Jared Fogle prison joke. Great beginning of the relationship material. Well, June, so he's a couple months in. I don't know what to do I really like her a lot she's a great person she's super attractive in a way it's reassuring to know that she has

good morals not saying Christians are always morals but this girl's special our families have even become friends and I can really see her being the one we do everything together and we get along great but am I just wasting my time and her time I can't change who I am just to stay with her and I feel like an asshole for starting this relationship

as I should have been honest with myself, and I'm afraid I'm really going to hurt her. Should I try to change her up and loosen her as a person, or end it? Really appreciate the advice. He needs to end it. End it. Two ways I can see this panning out is,

one, they go to different colleges, and he is resenting himself and coming to resent her because he's not allowed to go out and have fun and she'll be keeping tabs on him and all the fun thing he wants to do. And he doesn't have any problem with, but she would. And so he'll just be doing that for her sake. And then when they eventually do break up,

he'll just have so much regret about it. And well, I rolled both into one. So only one thing. Yeah. But yeah, that's what's going to happen. Or I mean,

if they do go to the same school, she's going to keep such close tabs on them. That's it's, it's not going to be fun for you, dude. You're a couple of months in and you already have this much hesitation to write into our podcast and ask us about it. Like that's,

you really like her now and that's fine but you're gonna wish that you had opened your horizons a bit once you get to college and if you don't and you end up breaking up you know sophomore junior year you're gonna just look back on all that time that you potentially now think that you wasted so i say get out while you can but be friendly about it seems like a good girl yep i agree that wow so i disagree i am so there's a chance i i've got the word asexual in my head right and uh i feel like that gets thrown around a lot like an amoeba like an eight no asexual is a term that they use now for people who have no sex drive who just have no desire to have sex who have no none of that on on their own and uh um there are a lot of christian girls who want to save themselves from marriage

who are kind of cool with doing everything but um or doing everything but if you know for those who got on the way to work, what is winking? My bigger concern is not that, you know, she wants to wait for marriage or whatever that is. It's that she'd be happy with a life that only does sex for procreation. And I wouldn't be in a hurry to just, like, wrap this thing up and call it quits because you're not getting what you want from her. I would just keep an eye out and make sure that,

I don't know, that you guys are compatible in the end. Like, you know, I had this as a video idea. But wait, that's risky. Compatible in the end? How old is this guy again? 16. Yeah, you're right. Come on, get some pussy! Yes? 16. Yeah, you're right. Come on.

Get some pussy. Yes. Yes. Kyle is 100% right. Look, it doesn't matter if you don't want anyone who's going to work out for you in the end. You're 16. The next eight years at least is fuck time. It's fuck time.

Fuck, fuck, fuck everything. If she's taking that long, she's wasting your time. Move along. You could have fucked two girls in these two months you've spent with her. Two. You're two behind right now. You're at negative two. You're at a buffet.

You've fallen behind. You picked up a crab rangoon from the appetizer section of the buffet. I love those. You really like it. But now you've relegated yourself to only crab rangoon. And not even just crab rangoon. They're so rich. Just occasional crab rangoon.

It's not even occasional. It's everything but the good part of the Crab Rangoon. You're not getting everything you want out of it, and there's a bunch of other things in the buffet. Maybe the orange chicken is just as good and a lot more fun. A lot of people who've had sex with a lot of different people agree that it kind of makes monogamy a bit harder, that sex loses its barrier and its specialness. It's just like co-masturbating or something. If you really, if you follow the fuck buffet advice,

that, you know, if you do decide to do the marriage route, that you might not be good at it. Every woman is different, though. It's not like it's... You make it sound like it's like gorging yourself on tons of mashed potatoes. That's what you just described, where you just had so much sex that, like,

now all sex is the same. I'm not gorging myself on mashed potatoes. It's... Different dishes... That's not what I was saying at all. No? I was just saying that, like, once you enter the

intimacy once you break the intimacy barrier with enough people all of a sudden that barrier gets pretty flimsy and you become not good at monogamy hmm i mean that makes sense i don't i don't know any research or anything behind it but i understand what you're saying people i've spoken to and i'm not talking about kind of all these are like people on forums and stuff people i've spoken to, and I'm not talking about Kyle at all. These are like people on forums and stuff. People I've spoken to on forums, they've agreed on that. I think a man's... On forums? Yeah, it's right there on the internet. For the most part, a man's level of faithfulness is dependent upon his options.

So one could say that what you actually have here is guys who are capable of having sex with a lot of women are just capable of having sex with a lot of Women and will keep doing so because I think that like if you're a single guy or in a non committed relationship like and there's just readily available Women to fuck like there's no way you'll say no how has anyone here turned down sex from a woman you found attractive before I? Feel like I could definitely get sex if I wanted to. Of course, of course. You can get the sex.

It's turning the sex down. That's what we're talking about. Well, have you, Kyle? I have not. Have I had the ability or have I actually turned it down? No, have you actually done it? Because you were saying that you were leading the question in a way that your answer was like, oh, obviously, no, I didn't.

I think I have. Yes, I have. I have turned down sex to remain monogamous in situations. I have done that. It is an incredibly difficult thing to do, though. It is very difficult. Because just genetically speaking, we're made to always want that.

And it's usually so fucking hard to get. And then when it's just freely offered, when it's just like, hey, do you want pussy? You know how hard it is to say no? Yeah, it wasn't that obvious for me. Oh, no, I'm'm full on more than one situation i feel like women have flirted with me you know like a knee touch or something like that that i felt like if i responded in kind could have cheated didn't obviously that's that's saying

something i i feel what you're saying but i'm'm talking about... Yeah, that's a couple... I'm talking about, like, in the modern dating scene, in the Tinder era, it would be very common for a woman to say something like, hey, do you want to come over and fuck me? Like, those words were just right out in the open, 100% plain, no games are being played, you want to fuck? And to be able to say no

is just a difficult thing to do i think see i think it's it's harder to say yes if you're not accustomed to doing that if you haven't said yes with well you know you what you didn't say that people who cheated on their uh their partners more were more likely to to cheat you said the people who had more sexual partners by that rationale i could have two dozen committed relationships each of which lasted you know three months each throughout my 20s and i would then you know fall right into that same pattern of people who find it difficult that's what i'm saying yeah yeah i'm not saying cheaters which i'm saying yeah oh cheaters are cheaters yeah maybe so but it yeah if you were to have, like, two dozen, if you're fucking 20 or not 20,

let's say 24 to 34 women through your 20s, then maybe you've broken that intimacy barrier enough that it becomes not much of a barrier anymore. It's not the intimacy. intimacy barrier enough that it becomes not much of a barrier anymore. Hmm. It's not the intimacy. All right. So I've, I, I feel like it's in poor taste to throw a number out there,

but quite a few women I think I've had sex with, uh, in, in what remains of my twenties. Um, don't have much time left. Um, but I,

I can't say whether it's affected my ability to be monogamous or not, but I don't think that, like, I'm not looking to hit the same number in my 30s. Like, I don't, I feel like it's less so. I think it makes me more able to be monogamous, because, like, I've been out there, and I've fucked a lot of different kinds of women. Gotten it out of your system, to an extent. That's how I feel, honestly. I feel like, yeah, I fucked that snake woman that that time and then i fucked that hooker that time and you know i fucked that asian chick

and that filipino chick and that black chick and you know on and on and on and until it's just like yeah and i fucked this older lady and this you know whatever like all the different kinds of women i i feel like i've i've been with them though the ones i you know whatever and i i feel like now in my 30s which are coming soon enough uh like I'm not looking at your birthday it doesn't matter you know it's uh May 9th May 9th is that it yeah yeah coming up soon is is what it I yeah that's my real birthday. Everybody knows it that because my youtube channel was my birthday channel birthday Yeah, five nine eight asking privately. Yeah, everybody knows I would answer

Yeah, there's no way to hide that anymore and cats out of the bag so yeah I think it makes me more likely to be a monogamous committed 35 year old at some point though That's not my goal really is it's not really to settle down permanently or anything I don't think. I don't know what my goals in life are as far as a relationship is. I'm with my girlfriend now. Are you an uncle yet? I'm a...

My half sister has children. Half uncle. I'm a half uncle. Yeah. She's got... I don't know how many kids. Like, she had twins and then another. Not a very committed uncle. Nah, nah.

She's got three to four kids. At least you can ballpark it. Yeah, yeah, I definitely can ballpark it. Because she had twins, you know, off the bat. And then she definitely had at least one more. I just don't remember if she had a fourth child. I feel like Kyle would be a good uncle. You know that?

My uncle never had a flamethrower. Right? I'm a good neighbor to have, maybe. I don't know, somebody to hang out with occasionally. No, that's not true. You're an awful, awful neighbor. Maybe you have a good friend to have if you live in the area and you're able to visit and play with some with occasionally. No, that's not true. You're an awful, awful neighbor. Maybe you have a good friend to have if you live in the area and you're able to visit and play with some stuff occasionally.

But I don't know about a good uncle. I just feel like you leave the kids over at Uncle Kyle's, they come back with stories to tell and experiences. I don't know if that's a good thing. So you're not taking them to whores, I don't think. He smoked a bunch of crack and went crazy. He said he was going to die in a month and he got high on meth it was

weird uncle kyle knew we were coming over and he made a jungle gym out of fence posts and then the next month at uncle kyle's place we did this and we did that we watched we watched the deer hunter and then he made me be christopher walken while we played russian roulette maybe not a good uncle have you ever seen that movie you ever you ever seen the deer hunter made me be Christopher Walken while we played Russian roulette. Kung pow! Kung pow! Maybe not a good uncle. Have you ever seen that movie? You ever seen The Deer Hunter? I don't think so.

Oh, okay. I know the scene you're talking about. But wait, back on this. I don't know. Maybe your topic was better. But I feel like with this 16-year-old, you know, he's dating a, he calls her a bit of a Jesus freak. Um, I don't know if you like spending time with her, then, uh, no, no, no, no. Go fuck a bunch of other chicks and then rub it in this chick's face and then fuck her.

That's what you need to do. And that's what no one else will tell you to do. You know what's super common? This is, this is how it's going to play out. This is what's going to happen. She is going to withhold it from him for the entire time they date, right? She is going to, listen to me say, she is going to like, oh, yeah, remain chaste, remain pure, whatever. They're going to date for 18 months before it finally breaks off.

And then she's going to date another guy and she's going to fuck him six weeks in. This story has been told. It's like a one-hit wonder in music. This is a super common story. She will get so used to turning you down and you will get so used to accepting it she's going to fuck the next guy in a few weeks.

If that. Could just be an immediate rebound. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't leave her immediately. Here's what you do. You make your case. You say, look, I want sex to be part of my relationship at this phase in my life, and I care

a lot about you, and I'd like us to stay together, but I feel like for us to really connect with each other, if we're ever going to find out if we are right for each other, then we should really connect I Trust you enough for you to be my first don't you trust me the same way and if she doesn't fuck you then you break Up with her you go fuck another chick and then you rub it in chick number one's face And then she will fuck you and that's what you do

Then she'll fuck you in this scenario do I'm sorry that she'll fuck you in this scenario that is very good advice are you fuck zero chicks it is good your choice it's good advice aside from the coming back with some weird vendetta angry fuck even if you take the whole you know him wanting it and she doesn't thing out of it her being a super conservative christian and you're already noticing that as a big problem like you think that's just going to go away i don't the option she's going to get way more extreme or she's going to yeah she's going to either get really extreme with the christianity in college or she's going to zoot that other direction real quick and abandon all of it and go crazy in which case if you're

at different colleges and that happens, you've wasted all your time for nothing anyway. Yeah, man. Like, this isn't one of those things where you're like, ah, I'm never going to get to have sex with Stacey. You're going to fuck Stacey. Like, trust me. No matter what, as long as you don't, like,

really bitch out of this situation, you're going to fuck her, for sure. Because she's going to, like, loosen up next year or the year after. But she could loosen up in four months if you start fucking one of her friends. You need to be working on that. You need to show her what she's missing out on. You immediately cut all ties with her. Is this saying dick pics?

No, no. You need to cut her completely loose, and you need to go to this other chick, and you need to be the best boyfriend you ever can to this chick number two. Doesn't even matter if she's that great looking. It's better if she's not as good looking as chick number one. By the time this is over, you will fuck them both

and you'll be much happier. If you stick with chick number one, you're not fucking her any time soon. Just get out of this weird maze that Kyle's trying to put you into. This labyrinth of deceit. Just end it and have fun in college with someone else. You don't have to look at it as a labyrinth of deceit

here look at it this way break up with her and find somebody else but in the back of your head remember that's somebody else you're just fucking her to rub it in chick number one's face because when she sees that you're off you've got this other thing going on she's going to be jealous

that's all that's going to happen I guarantee it something about her weight when you break up like a little thing he's going to be jealous. That's all that's going to happen. I guarantee it. Yeah. Something about her weight when you break up. Just a little, like a little thing. Like not even like a direct insult.

Just be like, You don't sweat much for a fat girl. You've been a big, big, big impact on my life. A heavy, heavy impact. I impact on my life. A heavy, heavy impact. I can physically feel it.

Like two backpacks. I think you said a couple times that she was really pretty. You'll be okay. I mean, you're a big girl. Yeah. It's better if she's really pretty. They have the most fragile self-esteem. Where are you from, Woody?

I thought you were from New Jersey. I thought you were from New Jersey. I thought you were hooking up with those tourist chicks. I never fucked them. I did not get laid that summer. That's a shame. Yeah, people thought that. I kissed a lot of girls and went to a lot of movies,

but I was not sexing up all those girls. Well, it wasn't a total loss. A lot of movies. I love the scenario you described because I feel like, I don know 18 year old single you or whatever or whatever like an older age bracket of anyone not necessarily you that sounds like a great like yeah i was environment to live in i'd like to be a townie that'd be cool townie yeah i want to be a townie somewhere. Maybe that's what I'll do in my 30s. Yeah, I don't know if Taylor knows it, but in fast forward, when you live in a beach town, every week there's like a whole new batch of people. And I would just, you know, whatever, date them, date a couple of them.

I'd get caught like cheating with my three-day-old relationship. Didn't care at all. It's like, oh, you thought we were like, yeah, yeah all right i got caught you can both drop me i don't give a shit let me just get started on another one the bigger your pool is the the more the the wider you can cast your net yeah and that's just a fun way of saying like you can just get a speech down just a basic intro and memorize that shit like a line. Like you're an actor. That's all you gotta do. Same intro every time. You know what the three possible

reactions are. You've got a line for each one of those. Next line. You've got like five lines and that's all you need. If you haven't gotten a date by the fifth line, then you just move on to the next one. And you don't even have to be polite when you walk away. Just be like, You don't have to go far. You can see the next one and you don't even have to be polite when you walk away just like you don't have to go far like you can see the next one from the like

no and just go to the next one like same lines it can be going well right and you're talking to this nice like seven out of ten and things are okay and it's kind of working for you and then there's a seven and a half out of ten over there just go and find and work the seven and a half out of ten if that's what you want to do they see like we've all talked about how it's a numbers game right you know like don't get too wrapped up into one girl they all have their pros and cons see what sticks right now uh when you're in college especially if you go how big was your school murka in college, especially if you go... How big was your school, Mirka, in college? How many students went there? 20,000 maybe? Oh, way bigger than that.

Mizzou had well over 30,000. Okay. So there's well over 30,000 people there. We'll guess about half are girls. He could really... 60% almost girls. Nice. So it was a numbers game that he could play.

If you go to a high school, like in an extreme example, my daughter's high school, each class, that is each year, has something like, I think it's like 80 kids. Oh, that's a problem. Yeah. You know, like, and by the way, you know, right away, only half of those are going to be, you know, the sex you're looking for. Right. So now we're down to like 40 people. And there's 10 of those who are fucked up.

More than that. Right. You know. up. More than that, right? Yeah, more than that. Of those 40, there's probably 10 that you would date. I mean, there's 10 that you just couldn't date, though. There's 10 that are just fucked out of that class. Yeah, that would make for a difficult environment to work in. Yeah, you're absolutely right.

The bigger the pool is, the wider you can cast your net. And that means you're just going to be much more effective. It's all about utilizing your time, man. That's why I say you're spending two months with this one girl that you like so much, but you're 16. You really should be getting laid or trying to. I mean, really. You should be getting laid. Or trying to. I mean, really. You should be getting after it, man.

Enjoy this time. This is about as good as it's going to get for you. Like, 16? You got your car. You get a girl. You're wrong on that. I would say there's a lot of... What's an average age to lose your virginity, you think? 14. Wow. I'm going to just Google it.

I'm sure... I should ask Siri. United States. United States average age to lose virginity. Even autofills. 17.1. Wow. That's fucking high. I can't be right.

According to the United Center for disease control and prevention it is although how would they know like like how many 12 year old how many how many 12 year olds are like yeah i'm fucking i feel like they're hard stats to get but like i don't know i feel like like like there were lots of kids having there were kids having sex in the 6th grade. There was a chick in my 5th grade class with tits. Kids start early now. 6th grade or 5th grade? Those kids are like 11.

Yeah, 5th grade, she had larger boobs than most women. Teen health FX. That doesn't mean that... This is a second source that also says 17 it was so i didn't i mean i was a fifth grade fucker i was just marveling at the fact she had tits but somebody else was fucking her like she seemed to always gravitate toward the big fat bearded

redneck type who was like eight years older so let's see that would have been like a 19 year old she was probably fucking in the fifth grade or something like that. I love white trash just terrific. So third a Third resource sixteen and a half it says for girls and 17 for boys That makes sense that was it makes infinitely that makes a ton of sense for it to be less for girls because I think a Lot of girls might date a guy a year older You know when they lose there now I think I well I mean obviously all i do it if a girl wants to lose her virginity she she need only raise her hand if a guy wants to lose his virginity he need only work his ass off and really shine like a star like it's hard yeah work his ass off what he said is true as well

that like the 16 year old chicks don't want to fuck another 16 yearyear-old. They want some 17, 18-year-old boyfriend. In my high school, there were plenty of chicks in the junior and senior year who were dating these dudes my fucking age. My age currently. They were dudes my fucking age. Fucking 10th graders. When I was in high school.

I think back on that now, I'm just like, what a fucking loser. Even at that time, honestly, I was thinking that. Mostly because I was in high school and I think back on it now I'm just like what a fucking loser but even at that time honestly I was thinking that mostly because I was just like jealous because it's like this is no this is not fair my dad gives me all my money like like if I have money it's because he slipped it to me when I got out of the car this morning meanwhile this motherfucker's got a career he's got a career like of course he has a car. He has his own house. He's a grown ass man. We can't compete with him.

He makes his own hours. He's there after school to pick her up in a nice car. I remember at my high school, almost every weekend, there was a party in some sort of sand parking lot, right? Deep in the woods, along the bay, whatever. And sometimes people who already graduated would come back. I hated that. See, that's a faux pas. See, I hope I'm not interrupting your story,

but that is different than what I described. Because what I was describing is like a couple of outliers who weren't even from our class. Like, we didn't know who these people were. Like, these are grown-ups from the real world who just happened to meet this 17, 16- out of the mall somewhere and they hooked up and now their boyfriend girlfriend what you describe is a much lamer scenario and when i graduated i i knew

in my head i will never ever ever it's so lame there was a guy who came on our senior trip think about that there was a guy who came on our senior trip. Think about that. There was a guy who came on our senior trip who had graduated like a year or two prior. He just needed one more year of high school. Yeah. No, no. He's already graduated. No, but he...

Emotionally, he needed one more year in that environment. He needed closure. He needed... He just... Go ahead. All he wanted to do was party. And he hooked up with two of the chicks, too. Which was, I thought, pathetic at the time as well.

It was a gross time. They were both making out with this slovenly-looking fellow who hooked us up with alcohol. Anyway, I think it's much easier for a young girl to find a partner than it would be for a young man in these... I always didn't like him sorry all right so i was gonna say like when the seniors leave like they're oftentimes cooler than you right it's nice to have them gone they're supposed to leave the area and it's your turn to

be a senior or if you're a junior there shouldn't be two years of people who are bigger and stronger and cooler than you like it it's supposed to fucking end at some point and some people like me would look at the post seniors at our party and think you know you don't really have it going on if you did you'd be at like college parties right now instead you're 1920 at a high school party on the other hand there were other people typically the athletes who were on the team with them who were like you know oh yeah josh just so cool to see you right right you know how you doing this year i'm good you on pace to break records nah like like i don't know whatever conversation they're having they're close because they were on a team together and uh that also gave them like almost their old status back

and it was bullshit i didn't like it i never felt like that we we had an even more extreme there were like a contingent of five or six people from like probably almost kyle's age like four or five years older than me or i guess that is your age, Kyle, who would come back, like I would be in class, junior in high school, and this ass would parade through the door and just start talking to the teacher like, oh, Mrs. Smith, like, oh my God, it's like so crazy to see you.

She's like, then she'll talk to him about college and that, it made me so embarrassed for them and sad, just wondering like, how bad is your life right now that you thought, you know what would brighten my day? Going back to that place I couldn't wait to leave and talking to a teacher. Man, I've been back

and it's so weird. I didn't want to interact with anybody. It's not that far away. It's not that far away. I drive past it and I see the thing and it's just like, when I see changes, it kind of bothers me a little bit. Like they've really reconstructed my high school. And so like lots of the memories that I have, like I can't even picture them now because that stuff's not there.

So that's kind of a bummer. But I've never went back and like socialized with any teachers or anything. I think I went back one time because I was purchasing. I wanted to buy a welder and I went back to my welding teacher and was like, you know, I bet you've got some cheap welders laying around here, and he hooked me up with a welder. But, like, I've never been. You didn't go back to catch up.

Nah. You had something to do. Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't. I wouldn't. Like, I mean, for one thing, like, I didn't get along too well with much. I mean, I hit one of the fucking teachers. Like, I don't think they liked me very much there at that high school.

What did they do to you for you to hit them? Nothing. It was 100% unprovoked. I did it on it there. I donkey-conged him. I haven't told you about donkey-conging Mr. Cawthon? No, tell me about it. I got a shop teacher named Mr. Cawthon.

He's 6'4", maybe like 160 pounds, really skinny guy. But he's like 40 years old. He's balding on top. I got a real southern accent. And he's the leader of our shop class. It's woodworking, masonry. We build gazebos for auctions and stuff. He's cool enough, actually.

He really is. He's very nice to us, despite shit like this. And so there was this rap song that one of my friends listened to he listened to like underground like uh atlanta rap and this rapper would always talk about donkey in one of the songs he's talking about donkey kong and hoes and like there's that part of the rap song where they stop rapping and you you like hear him smoke like yo and then they start then they start like talking yo man and like going back and forth and they get into this thing about donkey kong and them hoes

and and the first guy was like yeah man i just got out of jail because i hit my girl and you know blah blah blah he's like nah man you don't hit those girls in the face you donkey kong at ho you hit her in the top of her head so the police don't see no bruise and it's just a ridiculous rap song about you basically make a fist and you know howise and it's just a ridiculous rap song about you basically make a fist and you know how donkey kong's got a hammer and he hits you with a hammer top of the head just top of the head with the the bottom of your uh hand you know with the meaty part not with a knuckle or anything it's a jolt like you're like whoa what the fuck happened and so we were doing it to each other as a joke at first and then we just start doing i would just

start doing it to random people in the hallways and it became kind of a joke i was like i'll do it to anybody i don't fucking care i think it's funny uh and they were like i bet you won't do it to mr coffin and i was like i will fucking do it to mr coffin i don't give a shit and they're like you won't do it you won't do it double dog dare you mother and think of it keep in mind i'm like 16 years old and so so like, I'm just, I walk up to Mr. Cawthon's podium as the class is starting. And he's like, he's like, you know, you guys get on the masonry and you, you know, you need to get on the, uh, the shingles on the gazebo and Mars, what are you doing today? And I just went Donkey Kong and hit him in the top of the head real fucking hard. I hit him real fucking hard in the top of the head so much so that he went like that and and he just froze and looked at me like like with just hate in

his eyes and i thought he was gonna hit me and i was getting ready to fight maybe i didn't know what was gonna happen and he just grabbed me by the arm he's like come to my office and he told on me he went and fucking told on me of course he did he can't let that precedent be set yes wrap people on top of the head he should have hit me if to be honest if he'd have smacked me in the head like no matter what he did he could hit me in any way he wanted been straight no problem cost him his whole career nah i wouldn't have said shit so um your dad be on his side so they suspended me for like two days or whatever. My dad made fun of him afterward. He was like, pussy.

Pussy. He went so long. There were a couple incidents like that with my dad and teachers. But anyway, yeah. What a babble-rousing little bastard you were. I don't know why I did it. They were just telling me I wouldn't. And I just knew I would.

And they just kept saying I wouldn't. And I was like, fuck it, I'll do it. I just don't fucking care um the other one was my I had another teacher and it was so like the other t I had missed six days of his class and if you miss more than five you just fail and uh and he had written in the book and so like I didn't know it but I had missed six days out of just his class and and he didn't know it either so the paperwork paperwork goes through. I get my report card in the summertime for the past year, and I failed a class.

And this is going to fuck up my graduation time. It's going to be cutting it close. I can only fail so many. And so I told my dad about it, and he's all upset. And it just so happened that the teacher shot skeet with us, sporting clays. uh and so we're

all at the sporting clays clay place we're about to meet up and it's myself and it's uh the teacher who's failed me accidentally and it's two more people two more men who know both me the teacher and my father and they start fucking with the teacher like this one guy his name's bart and bart has a stutter he's about 40 years old and, and he's very, very much from the South. He's like, you ought not have done that. You ought not have failed that, boy. I'll tell you right now. Lamar Myers whooped a man's ass over something like that. I've seen him do it. I've seen him put a terrible ass whooping on a man for not nothing. Not nothing, damn it.

I wouldn't have done that. And they just keep doing this to him. Like two or three guys are just telling the teacher, like, you shouldn't have done that. Lamar is mad. He's pissed. He's on the way over here. Dad doesn't know anything about this shit.

He's not upset. He wouldn't beat up a teacher over a grade. He don't fucking care. So, like, Dad pulls up and the teacher has this in his head. He meets my dad at his truck and is like, looking in the way, hey there, hey, I just wanted to let you know, I'm gonna straighten all this stuff

out with Kyle and his grades and everything. I'm gonna make sure he's doing okay. And Dad's like, alright, dude, that sounds good. But they got in his head so bad and got him so scared. Nothing like that ever happened for me. That sucks.

No, I never hit a teacher. No. What's the worst thing you've ever done to a teacher? I've told this story before. I told one to go to hell. That's as far as I went. I don't think I did anything. Were you about to go into another story about something you did worse to a teacher than Donkey Kong him?

I can't think of anything. I've been a little smarmy shit plenty of times, like talking back, being a smartass, but nothing notable like that. Fake the seizure. He freaked out, scooped me up in his arms, running me to the office to get medical attention, and I started laughing as soon as we got to the door. He dropped me. Then you had a seizure for real, and he walked away. He was like,

asshole. He didn't say that, but he was an asshole, too. He made us watch this video called Why the Civil War Was Not Fought About Slavery the civil war was not fought about slavery and he was always talking about the sons of confederate veterans and he arranged this whole civil war reenactment uh so fuck that guy oh i ate a teacher's lunch uh just being like a little shit he was sitting in the cafeteria with all the kids this isn't even that bad but he would like

this creepy guy who would always go sit with the girls our age and like pretend he was like talking to him about class really he was just being pervy and he had to go stand up and talk to another teacher and a friend of mine was like hey taylor you should go eat his entire lunch while he's talking right now and i was like i don't know if i can eat his entire lunch before he goes back he's like well you better get going like and he had like a spicy chicken sandwich and some fries in that bin i just went over there sat down with the girls real quick and then just ate it all as fast as i could it wasn't didn't even enjoy it did you know it was you uh well yeah i didn't know maybe no one saw no one snitched he was sitting like at the table with the girls and so they saw me sit down in a fervor just

eat as fast as i could and then get back up, scoot back over there by his giggling at my table. And so of course when he comes back and he asks the girls, but what happened to my lunch? Taylor ate it. And it's like ah, you bitches. You couldn't have said anything. You were always very mean to the substitute teachers because they're gonna be gone. You know what I mean? Like

and I like fucking with people and I could always I knew which substitutes could be fucked with and which ones didn't know the regular going-ons in the class. They didn't know we don't watch a movie in the middle of the day, or they don't know that we're not allowed to just walk out. And if you just look at it incredulously and just be like, yeah, I'm going to metalworking.

I have to. Every day I go. They'll feel stupid for even questioning you. Free reign of everything. But we had this one old-ass substitute. And I mean old. Like, 70s for sure. Maybe 80s. I don't know. And she was

a habitual liar, okay? And as 17-year-olds, we knew this. Like, we could tell. Sure she wasn't just senile? Whatever. So she's like going on. She's like a truck driver and she like invented some sort of way to recycle tires and like she just had this laundry list of achievements

and accomplishments and places she'd been and it was just bullshit and i knew it and i didn't like her and i thought it would be funny she was wearing a dress and they were i was behind her and she didn't know it and there were people in front of her. So I thought it would be hilarious to those who were watching if I came from behind her and started reaching up her dress. And, of course, stick with me here. And imagine she's talking to the class of people and I'm behind her giving them the crazy eyes, reaching up this lady's dress. This is funny, Kyle Duggar. She doesn't. Reverse Kyle Duggar.

It's different. It's an octogenarian. Yeah, octogenarian here. So I'm reaching up because I think it's hilarious. And the higher I reach, the more hilarious it is to me. And I bump her thigh. I bump like an area that's definitely above her knee, but her thigh with my hand. And like a goddamn human Spider-Man, I withdraw. like an area that's definitely above her knee, but her thigh with my hand and like,

like a goddamn human Spider-Man. I withdraw, do a back roll and stand and, and, and, and, and try to act like I'm like studying my shirt or something. And she like turns around slowly. Cause she was rickety.

Like I was, it's probably more like an average person rolling around on the floor and popping up, and just a really old rickety person who could barely turn around, turning around. But she didn't catch me. Are you sure? Oh, my, Kyle. Would you please stay after class for a bit? But I was terrified in that moment.

I felt like I was going to get in a lot more trouble than I did for hitting the teacher. But I just thought it was funny. Because just for the visual that they were getting of me like going up there, it was totally worth it, I thought. I don't know, I put stink bombs in a couple teachers' classrooms. I do that pretty regularly, a lot actually. I got suspended for that as well. I had been stink bombing the school all day actually, and I would do it in sneaky ways. I'd just drop them in the hallway and keep walking, let somebody else break it. I'd put them in a soda bottle with a rock, put the lid on, shake it so the rock ruptures, the stink bomb. Then all you got to do is pop the top and drop it in a trash can.

I'd put them under people's desks so when they sit down, the weight crushes it. I'd always try to be sure that I wasn't around when it happened. But somebody ratted me out, as those fuckers like to do and And so like they call me the office, and they're like oh We you know they searching me and everything looking for these stink bombs And they're like well, we're gonna we're gonna search your car, and I was just like yeah Let's go search my car I don't have anything to hide and I was just bluffing of course because my car is completely fucking full of stink bombs

But like as soon as I saw that he was committed. was like stink bombs are in my car let's go get them and i had so many i knew what was in my car and that morning before i went in when i like got my 12 stink bombs for the day or whatever i remember thinking i should hide these under a dumpster so that if my car is searched they won't be in it but instead i just left this big bundle of wrappers all in my console, and I just knew it was over. Have I told you guys about the – I know I told it on my channel years and years ago, but about the poop bandit story? Tell it again.

The poop bandit? Okay, so there's this – it's not me, but there's this kid. No, no, the bathroom bandit, they call him at our high school. This kid, this weirdo, and I was the only one who 100% knew, to my knowledge, what was happening, who was doing it. Because I almost caught him on accident one day early in the morning. This kid, this weird kid, he would go into school, sometimes really early. would go into school sometimes really early and he would go into the bathroom shit into a paper towel and then write on the wall joker-esque messages like ha ha ha ha ha you'll never catch me in shit on the wall or on the inside of stalls and like like like clues like uh getting closer

question mark things like that to the point that our morning announcements they had to say like to whoever has been defacing our bathrooms please if you know anything about this person report it to the principal you won't be told out but the time i figured out it was him and this happened at all times throughout the day it wasn't always the morning there were i don't know how we never got caught. You'd go to class, come back out before lunch. I need to use the restroom. Walk in, ha, ha, ha.

Like, there's shit on the wall. Like, when did this ghost of a person find it? Like, it got to the point that teachers were logging your bathroom exits. And I got into school really early when he decided to strike one day. And I walked, I was about to walk into the bathroom and this Kid walked out and he knew me and so he was like oh Taylor I wouldn't go in there if I were seems a certain bandit has struck again Mike I knew it was you

Mike was the bathroom bandit he ever get caught Mike was the bathroom bandit did he ever get caught no he knew when to stop it was an Ocean's Eleven style you know calculated he was running there but that's

the poor janitor he became so sullen and downfallen every time he had to go in there and clean the shit yeah that's great I love that so sullen and downfalling every time he had to go in there and clean the shit. Yeah, that's great. I love that. Oh, that's so funny.

Asshole move. I can't hang with your story. I don't know. Bandit. Yeah, the bathroom bandit. Wow. I have a whole new topic. I think Taylor's going to say something. Is it impacted?

Oh, no. I've been keeping a list of the topics so that the title at the end is easy. Oh, nice. Well, thank you for that. You're welcome. Nick Diaz. If you guys don't know who Nick Diaz is, he's an MMA fighter. He's a bit of a legend.

He was a Strikeforce champion, but not UFC. He beat Robbie Lawler, the current champion. He's beat a bunch of current champions. And he's been around the sport for a while. He's 32. And he started super young at like 19, I think. And he's also a pot smoker. Like a pro level pot smoker, like a pro-level pot smoker.

Somehow, in spite of his pot smoking, he's also like really fitness-oriented. He runs Ironmans or, you know, he's a triathlete. He's got some of the best cardio in the sport. Anyway, he's been busted for smoking pot twice by the nevada athletic commission and uh you know he said it would never happen again he'd be more serious about it and i can't detail too much the way these tests work i know their urinalysis which apparently is not the good one they tested him three times and the first and third one were like official WADA tests. I think it's W-A-D-A. And those tests, like the

chain of custody on who touches the urine sample is all detailed and how they do it and he was found innocent on both of those. But the middle one, the sort of non-official test, he was busted for pot. And they held his trial like two or three days ago. And in it, he just pleaded the fifth the entire time. And they threw the book at him. They actually suspended him from fighting for five years. Jesus. Yeah.

Which is essentially the rest of his career. It might be. He'd be 30. Well, I mean, what's he going to do? Spend the next five years coaching and running and training other people, meanwhile trying to, you know, keep up his game and be in fight shape in five years? Like, he's got to take his life in a different direction.

Five years. That's a lot of ring rust, you know? Like, yeah, five years. How long was ali out of the game i don't know yeah five years is a long time it's a lot of ring rust yeah and and like you said 37 there aren't a lot of people that come back at 37 and do better than before um that's uncommon they're essentially you know ending his career with that it's such bullshit. It doesn't make any sense to me because it's just not a performance-enhancing drug.

No one would stand behind that. You could go to the staunchest Republican, the Mike Huckabees of the world. You ask Mike Huckabee, do you think marijuana is a performance-enhancing drug, Mike, with everything you know? Even he would be like, oh, shit. Just devil's advocate here.

This is a guy with huge anxiety issues. They can't seem to talk to the press. They really struggle. Excuse me, struggles to exist in the public life. In his case, don't you think he's a little better on pot? No, not in the ring. I think that's what they care about. Like, the guy could be on lorazepam

and achieve the same anti-anxiety as the marijuana if he wanted to, but I'm sure he just doesn't want to take lorazepam, and he probably likes weed. I don't think there's any case that you can make where it's increasing his performance. He never beat anybody up because he got stoned the week before. There's no way anybody ever caught a beating because Nick got high. But, I mean, there's a lot of people who maybe, you know,

go under the bright lights of the octagon and the cameras and maybe aren't the best. Yeah, he is. When he's fighting? When he's fighting? Why would you do that to yourself? No, man. he's not fighting i'm not gonna fight pumping myself up a little bit of weed before i go in i'm pretty no one

no one would want that he's a pro level pot smoker dude you're gonna have to produce something where he admitted to that because there's nobody who would want to want to take a downer and then go fight like it would make sense for him to do some coke for him to do some meth some some some greenies some uh some some sort of an uh uh an upper um that's what the baseball players used to take back in the day amphetamines um yeah there was that um that that netflix documentary about the guy who threw the no hitter uh high on lsd um and uh and he used he was talking about how many greenies he'd take a day he's like i just take a handful throw them on the table the ones that stood up i'd take them sometimes not that many stood up so i take the ones that laid down it was like holy shit like 20 30 at a time whatever but nah he's not fighting high and

and if he were if he gets high and beats somebody up then he should get two belts like like it's just in no way it's marijuana performance enhancing drug that would be like calling alcohol a performance enhancing drug it's it's it's just not yeah Yeah, that makes sense. They're trying to set an example, but it seems like this is ridiculously extreme. There's no way it helped him win. I can't find something that says he fought while he was high. In my foggy memory, I thought he did, but I'm not positive anymore.

But anyway, so they banned him from the sport for five years, possibly ending his whole career. He pled the fifth. And, um, I really only knew about pleading the fifth in criminal cases, right? So if people don't know, maybe non-Americans, the fifth amendment means you have the right not to incriminate yourself. If I say, Kyle, are you wearing a red headset? And he doesn't want to admit it. He can say, I plead the fifth. And, uh, and then that just means I have no evidence about that from Kyle. I have to prove it in some other way. I can't just compel him to tell me about himself. But, and I looked into this in a civil case, which is what this was, um, pleading the fifth can be used against you. You can infer that this person is not telling you because he's guilty.

It's okay to infer that apparently in a civil case, but not in a criminal case. If he'd gotten an illegal IV, it would have been a slap on the wrist. If he tested positive for Deanna Ball, it would have been a slap on the wrist. If he was blood doping, it would have been a slap on the wrist. If he tested positive for Deanna Ball, it would have been a slap on the wrist. If he was blood doping, it would have been a slap on the wrist. If he'd beaten up a hooker and she was half dead on a highway, it wouldn't have been five years out of the sport. It's bullshit.

So they actually have a rule, and the rule is for a third time offender, it's three years out of the sport, which is what he is. But that rule came into effect just after he became a third time offender, so it doesn't apply to him. And for him, they chose five years. At one point, the commissioners could be heard because the mics were on him.

It's just disrespectful. It's like a matter of respect. They threw the book at him because they seemed to not like him, and they didn't like him pleading the fifth, and they didn't like the way that he defended himself. His attorneys did a pretty good job of laying out how this drug test, the one of the three that he was positive for was the least accurate of them

and that they should be using the two in which he was clean. And they just didn't like the way the whole thing went down and seemed to punish him. I hope it doesn't stand. I hope there's some sort of a way to pull this back, some way for him to come out of this unscathed,

because it just seems like such shit. It seems so shitty. It's just not a performance-enhancing drug. There's no reason to disallow it. Did you see Ronda Rousey's statement? She's not a fan. She's not a fan. She's not very...

Not a fan of the English language, either a grammar. Um, Carly Farino seems, God damn. She seems smooth after listening to Rhonda Rousey, Jack jibber jabber for a little while. Wow. Didn't she say something like that? She said something about some girl coming on her face or something. And then she's like, yeah, uh, she's, she's talking about fighting. I think not, not Nick Diaz. and it's like yeah she's she's talking about fighting I think not not Nick Diaz and she's like yeah you know

she just comes on my face and then he's like that sounded kind of or she says if I come on her face you know they'll be over quick and she's like well that came out funny and and if that were to happen I wouldn't do it quickly I'd take my time but yeah I think that I hope something happens i don't i don't know much about nick diaz i've seen a few of his fights and i know that um that that he has kind of a crazy attitude and he's known for doing stuff like that he's he's an entertainer and i like that in my ufc fighters you gotta have two jobs if you're gonna to entertain me in the UFC. Kicking ass and entertaining.

You can't be a robot and go out there and beat people up. There's been several guys like that, and I didn't like any of them. John Dodson. I didn't like it. Oh no, who I'm thinking of. DJ. Whatever, the 125 pound champ. I don't like that. You've got to be an entertainer. You've got to be a Chuck

Liddell. You've got to be out there dancing or something. You've got to be harassing your opponents. People should fear you. People should hate to fight you for one reason or another, and I like that. I like watching this McGregor guy fight. That was very entertaining. He's putting on a show out there. It's not just MMA.

There's a little something else there. There's a little bit of WWE mixed in, but just enough so that it's not... I don't know. You don't want them wearing luchador masks or whatever. Nah, nothing like that. I don't want any silliness, but I want some passion.

I don't want it to be all business. It's nice if they've got some skin in the game, if there's a thing. And yeah, I like entertaining fighters, and Nick Diaz is one. And it's a shame if they really just take his whole career away when this is the part of his career where, if I had to guess, I would think he should be trying to cash in the most. He should be making these next five years

be his most financially beneficial years. They're just taking him away from him if that stands. What a shame. We'll see. It's a shame that it's happening to him, but it's pretty cool

as a fan because there's going to be a good fight out there. He's going to take them to an appeals court, and they're going to have to stand in front of a real judge. Instead of getting to be the judge, these commissioners are going to be in the actual legal system. I look forward to that. I think it's going to be pretty neat.

Yeah. Well, we'll see how that plays out. I hope he comes out of that okay. Yeah. Do you see Kyle's camera, Marka? I do not. You get the little fanny thing. Yeah, I'm getting...

I don't know if he'll ever come back. Yeah. I'm back. Kyle. Can you see us, Kyle? Oh, yeah. And they all just brightened up, too. Yeah, they brightened up.

I was hoping the brightening would bring your... Oh, no. I'm out of time. That was just your logo. I clicked it. I'm sure you'll come back. We'll see. Anyway.

Yeah. Yeah. So, anyway, Nick Diaz did terrible in court. That sucks. Yeah, the fight that I watched with him, he seemed kind of like an ass, so I don't really care. But it also is really unjust. That's not fair. What was I going to say? Really unjust.

That's not fair. What was I going to say? Oh, there's that North Carolina guy who, let's see, he's looking at felony sex offender charges for having nude photos of himself. That's like an onion article but the thing is it appears that he also has a charge of possessing a naked photo of his girlfriend who was 16 when they exchanged the photos and uh how old was he uh he's 17 he was also 16 jesus this is ridiculous they need context for these kind of situations like that it doesn't make sense i agree this is why. They need context for these kind of situations like that. It doesn't make sense. I agree. This is why I don't like mandatory minimums. Now, the pictures are the problem here because they're technically in possession of child

pornography. And that's why when you're like an underaged kid, like sexting is probably not a good idea because every time you do that you're kinda committing a crime and at I it's the it's not the kind of crime that people go out and like dog you for like there's no investigator coming around to look into your your nudies if you're a sixteen-year-old a football player somewhere however if anything else in your life happens that's a bit of a complication and this comes up it'll be added to everything else that's what I always say about like having a gun in your life happens that's a bit of a complication and this comes up, it'll be added to everything else. That's what I always say about like having a gun in your car.

Like someone was asking me the other day, like, do I need a concealed carry permit just to have the gun in my car? And I was like, well, it's the letter of the law in some circumstances. Yeah, if you want it out in the open and readily loadable. But I've never seen a scenario where a cop pulled someone over and they had their deer rifle or their bird gun or their hunting firearm or something like that in their car when they even said anything. Oftentimes, they'll just kind of acknowledge it, nod, maybe even compliment it and move along. But if you're there on a DUI charge, they're going to write that weapons charge up along with it because that's how that sort of thing goes. So that's why it's just best to always be doing the right thing and not be in possession of child pornography you 16 year old knucklehead snapchat delete it but it is ridiculous it is ridiculous yeah if i were king i think the

laws would be very similar to the um the consent laws right like if're, you need to be 13 at all. Other than that, we have some sort of problem. I don't know. I need to think that through. But if you're both 14, if you're both 14, then you're in the clear. If you're 14 and he's 18, check the birthdays because that's the widest gap that we're allowing here.

If you're 15 and he's 19, you don't like it. Go on. No, because it creates a system that can be abused by adults. Now what you're saying, now I see that being used in the same way that sometimes drug dealers will use children to carry out their drug transactions because

they're of an age where they won't do any time. Now I can see some sort of child pornography ring which employs children to handle the trading. Well she's 14, that's not child porn. That's not child porn, she's 14. It's on her phone. It's pictures of her, she owns it. No it's not child porn, she's just delivering it to that guy over there. So if you want to slap her on the wrist, go for it. You gotta have a zero tolerance policy with that. I take that back have a zero tolerance thing policy with that so that you can take that back not zero Maybe two tolerance

Three point one four tolerances, but still a little tolerance That system won't work You can't have like a thing where like dates are coming into play and you got to do you got to get out a calculator To figure out if that's child porn on that phone What if this 16 year old has pictures like, 10 different girls from his class? You're gonna go through and, like, be looking at all these naked, like, alright, she's 16, 16, 16, 15 in 11 months. You motherfucker!

Like, this doesn't work that way. And I feel like that could be abused by an adult who's trying to, like, do some sort of child pornography ring as well. I don't know. It's a sticky, it's a weird situation. I feel like my solution is still better than yours. Like, you have a, you know. Better than deleting your pictures?

Well, I mean, let's assume we exist in a world where you can't have teenagers not sexting each other. You delete pictures after. Snapchat. Well. You can't after Snapchat. Well, keeping a library of nudes of your classmates. Um, I hear you, but I,

I still feel like, you know, let's assume that 16 year olds make mistakes. What are we going to do about this? I like the idea of, uh, you know, you can only own these things if you're at the right age yourself.

I don't know, but then it, all right. So here's the relationship. Like now all of a sudden you're at the right age yourself i don't know but then all right so here's now the relationship get like now all of a sudden you're 14 and it's okay for you to look at any 14 year old that i don't think i like that and what can that 14 year old do with those pictures what if he shows him to someone older you know what if he gets sends them to someone older what if the 14 year old sends it to a 16 year What if the 14-year-old sends it to a 16-year-old? Now the 16-year-old's in trouble, but the 14-year-old's not. If that law goes into effect, I'm going to fuck everybody I don't like that's an overclassman. Oh, yeah? Child porn to you, my friend.

And to you. And to you. I'm calling 911. Yeah, there's three guys that are starting on the football team. They all got child porn on their phone. My next call is to the coach. Hey, coach! You think you can put me in next week?

Kids are too scary these days. You don't know this, but wide receiver and cornerback have openings. I'm going to be playing all three times this week. I have special teams, offense, defense. I got you. I'm going to be kicking off. I feel like I don't have a solution for this. There's no good way to handle it. It's good advice, like Kyle said, to just not do it until you're 18.

But at the same time... That's abstinence, though, and I hate that. Yeah, but what other solution is it? That's like a condom for this. And bleeding your pictures is like the morning after pill. So use some birth control if you're going to be sexting children. Sound advice. I have another video to watch.

I will warn you, it's just shy of four minutes long. But a Hell's Angel is chased by police and they have it on like helicopter footage and it's pretty cool. Okay. I'll watch the Hell's Angel. They say that.

I think it's actually true. I thought I saw their patches or something So I'm queued up at zero. I'm ready to go ready set play It gets pretty good Looking from a helicopter perspective right now, down onto some traffic. Looks like there's some ruffian on a bike. Going fast. What I would say is too fast.

Yeah, he's making everyone else look like they're kind of standing still. He's just weaving through traffic like they're traffic cones. Whoa, audio got better. I have mine muted. I'm just watching the video. I have mine muted. Just watching the video. Got some stereo now. Right?

Right? In dash cam. So you can see he's doing the... Ooh, electric cover cop. He's got the magic of the motorcycle, which is he can go from zero to 100 in nothing flat. Yeah. He was just weaving around like an asshole, and then one of those black Tahos that you don't know

are pulling you over until it's too late. Flipped its lights on and is now in pursuit. Maybe there was a helicopter on him already, so hard to say. So now he's in a rooftop parking lot? Is that what that is, or just a parking lot? No, it looks like a second level parking lot. Watch this shit. Yeah, it's a mall or something.

He can't find him. Helicopter lost him. Still panning around. So he's on the second floor or top floor of a parking garage and there's like a glass pyramid on top that leads inside. I guess he went there maybe. and there's like a glass pyramid on top that leads inside. I guess he went there, maybe. He went in there. Oh, now we're switching over to a mall security camera.

Uh-huh. We're gonna basically- And then he comes down the escalator! Oh, what a badass! And there's a security guard on foot chasing him! He went fucking Schwarzenegger. He's on a harley in a mall and he's doing pretty well there's a couple of police chasing him on foot and they're doing okay because you can only go so fast he's passing like mannequins and shit

man it wasn't even all security guards who were chasing him. It was just a couple of good Samaritans. He's back outside. He drove out of the mall. Okay, out to 108 in 152. Still escaping. And he goes south down into the mall on the north side of 108 by the Sears. At this deep into a chase, you just, if you're the one being chased, you have to know you're not going to get out.

Like, there's no chance. They get away more than you think. Like like the news presents it and tv presents it like we get them like 90 of the time i don't know what the actual statistics are but it's nothing like that they often escape so if you guys don't have the audio these are pedestrian overpasses and shit that he's using places cars can't go yeah he's driving around on a bunch of thin bridges looking like it's winding through a park yeah and nobody's on his tail yeah the police cannot follow him on pedestrian roads it just seems like once there's a helicopter on you it's impossible to escape no they can escape the helicopter has to go back and refuel if they don't have multiple It just seems like once there's a helicopter on you, it's impossible to escape.

No, they can escape. The helicopter has to go back and refuel if they don't have multiple choppers. Seems like that would be a while. I don't know how long a chase usually takes. I haven't been chased. Another pedestrian bridge. This guy's like crisscrossing pedestrian areas. I was hoping he'd take the stairs right there. He doesn't even need to. There he is. This will spit him out. A tine head. A tine head. I was hoping he'd take the stairs right there.

He doesn't even need to. It would just be cooler. Is that the it? Yeah. Is that the it? Is that it? Yeah. So no resolution there?

It just ends with him driving off into the sunset? No, no. If you read the description. I'm reading. Refuses to stop for the police he reportedly roared through the gulford town center mall where he drove his bike down an escalator before freeing the scene the suspect a white male in his 40s was last seen near 192 and 96 police is still reviewing surveillance tape and interviewing witnesses in an attempt to identify the suspect oh Holy shit! I didn't show the video that whole time! Oh.

Well, fuck. Link it. Link it for him. Woody apologizes profusely for not showing the video. But the guy escaped. That's pretty cool. I will put it on the big screen anyway and you guys can see the video title and look it up yourself.

Oh, that's why. Crazy Hells Ain't There. You can watch the video on your own my apologies everybody um mistakes were made but anyway you should be able to find it now yeah it's it's a good video i'm glad he got away i like rooting for the bad guy right he's a hell of an angel it said like serial rapist drives through mall it's like you better catch this fuck he's probably a violent drug dealer yeah playing pretend with a his little jacket on and oh we got patches and titles we're like sons of anarchy i've told my story have you ever run from the police from anything taylor no never no that sucks i'm like one for three or something like i'm yeah it's not a good ratio no kyle i'm sure you have

um yeah you know there's been that scenario where maybe uh you meet um you know in the road and you're going too fast and you can kind of tell that he's slowing down to come get you and instead you kind of speed up and take the next left and just keep making lefts until you think you've escaped. Yeah, that's happened a few times, maybe. Maybe. Mayhaps.

That's pretty much how I did. It wasn't all lefts, but yeah, I was going really quickly on a motorcycle. I saw him stop stop turn the lights on make his u-turn but uh i was near my destination and uh just get there really quick and he couldn't couldn't find me once on a motorcycle that's pretty pretty easy to pull off i feel like the motorcycle has a huge i guess a supercar would be a similar type deal. But just the way that it's not top speed. For all I know,

the cop could do top speed just like I can. They have a lot of horsepower. But the ability to get going, to get up to 80 is so quick on a bike. And to slow down, it's next level. I think you've got top speed too. I think that those cruisers, I don't see those cruisers ever doing more than

130, 150 miles an hour, something like that. That bike could do 200. Some of those bikes can. Some can. I mean, a lot of them can do 170. Mine was an Interceptor 500. I think it went 122 or something like that as fast as it went.

I bet the cop could do that. If it's a 1,000cc bike, though. Right, yeah, they do do. If they're on an R6 even a 600 cc bike maybe like i don't know you gotta be trying to escape a murder or something awful to go 200 miles an hour on a bike if you even begin to slip no open casket funeral for you like you just vaporize like a balloon full of ketchup on the highway. Just dead. It's disgusting. I would never ride a motorcycle that fast.

Woody, did you watch Star Trek Voyager? Yes. Do you remember Kes? The hot blonde, short-haired blonde chick, right? Mostly. I didn't think she was that hot. But yeah, the short-haired blonde chick. Yeah, yeah.

Did you see the news about her? I guess she... Well, she left the show for psychiatric reasons back in the day. Okay. And it turned out that things haven't really brightened up too much since. Oh, man. Yeah, she exposed herself to some children in Tennessee and fled back to her home. And when police came to her home, she was still naked.

And they took her into custody naked, I believe. Is there any pictures or video of this? I got pictures of her. I just gotta... Please, help me. What websites? I need to avoid these. Actually, 404. But anyway, she looks rough and does not look like herself.

And, uh, yeah. It was a pretty sad story, I thought. I've never watched Star Trek, so I have no idea, but that is quite the downfall. You ever watched any Star Trek? No, never watched any. You guys are... Yeah, Kyle got Robody for me.

1, 2, 3, 1. Still Robody. 7, 8, 9, 10 ten now you're better am i better yeah i can't believe you've never seen any star trek i think i've seen all of the star trek that there is to see no i may have like seen part of an episode here or there but i don't have any memories of it or yeah just i don't know i don't really get into the space thing i do i really like that stuff i haven't seen all of the original series from back in the 60s,

but I've seen a lot of it. There's not that much of it to see, honestly, but I've seen all of the others, and there's a lot of it to see. All of Next Generation and Deep Space Nine and Voyager, and I even watched all of Enterprise. I've seen it all. I like Star Trek

a lot, and the movies, all that shit. I keep seen it all. I like Star Trek a lot. And the movies. All that shit. I keep like triple checking to make sure I'm not screen sharing on this Kes search. Yeah. I don't know why I'm on this goose hunt. There are plenty of naked women on the internet. There aren't naked pictures of her.

Yeah. They didn't barge into the house of a mentally ill woman. They actually did. Well, not the pictures. They barged in and arrested her, but they don't make any pictures. There was just a mugshot of her that was just very...

Haggard. It wasn't very appealing. Yeah, yeah. Just really short, men's type haircut, and I don't know. Oh, wow. I've given up. She she hardly looks like herself kind of a meth face um this i can share for everybody um she might still be naked in this picture although it it's

kind of safe for work they cut it off you know here and um yeah it's it's not a good look on her. No. Well, that's sad. I don't know who she is, so it's not that sad for me. Yeah, I guess not. So you don't like sci-fi at all? No, I like sci-fi. Like, I like sci-fi books.

Oh. Like, not, I guess I just read this book called Martian. You've read a book? Fuck you. I know, I'm such an ass, right? But I liked that. But even that, I generally go for fantasy stuff over sci-fi. So like Lord of the Rings or Star Trek or Game of Thrones over Star Wars and shit like that.

I've always liked fantasy more. When does Martian come out? I don't know. It has Matt Damon in it and I haven't even seen the preview. The book is really interesting though. I feel like there's some real winners coming with Martian and Star Wars that Suicide Squad and Batman vs. Superman

The Hateful Eight Hateful Eight, yeah. You know Hateful Eight lost me a little on the trailer. Why? Or which one? I've only watched one trailer i don't want to um i've only seen one trailer too i think it just looked real low energy to me all the actors were really old and um maybe i give it a little credit for not telling me too much about the story but i i was more excited quentin Tarantino Western and then once I saw the trailer and I'll definitely go see it but it lost me a touch have you have

you seen all of Quentin Tarantino's movies well probably not I think I have yeah I've certainly seen a bunch of them have you seen true moment um true romance yeah schwarzenegger one we have that that's true lies ah it is true lies uh true room true romance is the patricia arquette and um what's his name movie uh what's the other what's the guy's name uh christian slater christian slater um it's a you should watch that that. That's a Tarantino movie you have not seen. I feel like I have seen it, though. Is that one of your favorites? Is that why you bring it up, Kyle?

No, I just think it's one of the lesser known ones. I don't think a lot of people have seen that one. Jackie Brown is the worst one, if you ask me. I don't like Jackie Brown. I haven't seen Jackie Brown. I guess that's what I have. I should see it again. Yeah, I don't like Jackie Brown. I like Res seen this i guess that's when i should see it again yeah i don't like jackie brown uh i like reservoir dogs and pulp fiction obviously i like the kill bill

movies i like inglorious bastards and uh django um the um the uh the grindhouse uh one with the chicks who are driving the car death race or death that was great i love that i it's it's probably a second worst movie um what's this i really liked it jackie brown jackie brown's is worse i just didn't like deniro in there deniro didn't do a good job i didn't think i don't i didn't like it i just didn't like it i liked grindhouse a lot i i want to go see that again. De Niro isn't very cool anymore. He went from casino and everything, like what, 20 years ago? And now it seems like he's a hapless idiot in some relationship with an old woman

that he shouldn't care about that much. And they're having mishaps getting across the Midwest. Like, it's... I don't... He doesn't seem cool anymore. Who's Jack Nicholson? Is he doing anything lately? No, he hasn't made a film since The Departed.

That was like 10 years ago. Yeah. He's done. He's retired. So has Gene Hackman. Gene Hackman's been retired for quite some time as well. But yeah, I like all those Tarantino movies. I'm trying to think if I'm leaving any out. I think Reservoir Dogs is one of my favorites.

Pulp Fiction might be my favorite. Kill Bill movies are excellent. They're overrated to me. I know most people disagree, but I didn't love the Kill Bills. You want excellent? Django was excellent. And Glorious Bastards.

I love the Bruce Lee influences and all the old school Kung Fu influence that's in that movie. I love the Bruce Lee influences and all the old school Kung Fu influence that's in that movie. I love that it's a meta film. It's a film within a film, Kill Bill is. Because Kill Bill is Fox Force 5, the pilot that Marcellus Wallace's wife was in Pulp Fiction. Remember Uma Thurman describing Fox Force 5 to Vincent? She's like, you know, it's four badass

chicks and they all got these skills. We're all assassins. That's Kill Bill. I love that about it. And that's in all of his movies. There's Big Kahuna Burger. There's Red Apple Cigarettes. He creates his own little universe. But I loved Kill Bill. I can't believe you didn't like it.

So good. So good. So good. Every bit of it. The music? I thought it was a little simple. It's good. I think Reservoir Dogs and Inglourious Bastards are my favorites. Maybe even Django up there above Inglourious Bastards.

Django was very good. Yeah, yeah. I think I've only seen Django once. Django! It's on Netflix, isn't it? I know, but i just never seem to be like you know what i got four hours to watch a show i love what he does with music and dialogue that's where everybody talks about tarantino's violence but for me it's the it's music dialogue and then violence i i i love that like you know you see jango like riding out in that blue suit and all of a sudden the rap music drops,

and it's just so out of place, and it takes you out of it for a second. But you go right back in, and you're like, yeah, that's kind of part of this character's swagger. It's cool. I really like what he does with music. And the dialogue. When two people are sitting at a table talking, it seems like such a real conversation.

And even if it's a fantastic conversation they're having about robbing people or you know irving uh pulling out the magnum behind the counter uh not wanting to give the money up or something it's a kind of a ridiculous thing that maybe you and i wouldn't talk about but it feels it seems like it's natural the way that they're talking about it i love the tipping conversation with steve buscemi uh yeah totally yeah absolutely yeah that's that's a great conversation um and you start you stop i i stopped viewing it as a movie uh when i when i'm watching that scene and you know i start considering what he's saying it's like i'm part of the conversation i'm like you know he's fucking right i wouldn't tip a chip at donald's like yeah what is with all this tipping and i love that

reservoir dogs is great um it's so violent i i saw it for the first time when i was 16 i remember it it like freaked me out a little when the when they cut the ear off yeah it's something about the ear it just seemed permanent like up until that point he had like maybe they hurt his knees or something they cut his face did they you're saying but but it's hard for the air you probably wouldn't know you probably didn't notice i don't know uh it's been a while you need it i feel like you need to see blood before you're like did he cut him or not because it was kind of an implied cut like he's he slashes but like you don't really see it and even the ear like i bet when you picture

that scene you picture an ear being sawed off don't you don't see it you don't you see the hole after you see the whole act hold the ear up don't they don't they show you the ear yeah but you don't see any of this unless of course like you watch the extended version that i watched and then you see him saw the fucking ear off it was awful I may have seen that um yeah that torture scene when when they cut his ear off and when they started doing permanent things to that cop it was like whoa whoa whoa like I sort of thought we were gonna go back we were all gonna find a way for this to work out until they cut his ear off and it's like well fuck like something that is like well now what are you gonna do you really damaged the guy like yeah they never intended on letting him live

yeah and then uh i want to say like one of the guys I forget how it goes probably don't spoil the climax I know it's like a 20 year old movie but some of them haven't seen it and it's such a great movie yeah let's not ruin that well it takes a turn that I didn't expect um yeah I don't know what else to say yeah

and uh um I was just like it jaw dropped for me Reservoir Dogs is something else the rape scene in Pulp Fiction same fucking thing in that movie it's just like whoa we were just watching a gangster movie

like the worst thing that could happen a minute ago was you'd get shot like you know messing with some gangsters or something now we're getting fucked down in Zed's basement this is fucked up and I've seen that movie dozens of times i watch it two or three times a month and so i'm like looking around and i'm there's oh there's the mattress thing over there and there's all these tools and and you see like hand prints on the wall that from other people and it's a it's a scary

scenario um that that scene really shook me up the first time i saw it too it's like fuck god damn they raped him they're fucking him um the same way that the um that that hillbilly raping movie uh oh but deliverance deliverance yeah yeah get your panties off boy woo squeal like a pig yeah and he's like like fucking yeah fucking this guy twisted his ears saying squeal like a pig and he's and um yeah he's trying he's going and he's going like no no he like does a better pig impression and you're just like stop yeah oh it's so brutal. I haven't seen that movie, but you recommend it. Yeah, you gotta see that one. And then I will say... I'll ruin it for you.

You can ruin Deliverance. That's okay. Kyle ruined it for you. There's a part where they get back at him. I don't know why, but Young Me when I first saw this movie didn't expect him to hold a grudge over it.

But he did. And it's delightful. Like, yeah, I just, it was good. He held a grudge. Yeah, he held a grudge about getting raped. I would too. Yep. As you do.

Yeah. What was I trying to say? Do we have another topic to talk about? I think we should call it a show right about there. I think this has been an excellent show. Yeah. It kind of flowed. Yeah.

Happy. Yeah. Yeah. I am. All right. We'll call it a show. And if you're not, I'll tell you what. If Chiz had been here we'd typically threaten

five hours ten Chiz always wants more he does he does but okay so that was PKA episode 248

thank you again Casper our sponsor check them out coupon code PKA gets you $50 off there'll be an annotation

on the side a link in the description we thank them for their support. And yeah, so I hope you guys like the show. Yep, see you next week.