Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #249

Episode Date: October 3, 2015

This week on PKA, the guys answer some Patreon AMAs that involve advice on dumping a fat girlfriend who is dragging you down, generic sex advice for getting better, retelling of mean stories and everyone's favorite.... Am I an asshole?!

We're live. Welcome to Painkiller Already, episode 249. This episode of PKA is being brought to you by MeUndies.com, who are changing up the underwear game like no one else. And you'll hear more about them later in the show. I'm a big fan of MeUndies.com. I'm wearing some right now, and I can honestly say, these are the best underwear I've ever had. That's true. Al was showing us beforehand. He couldn't show you because it's very thin yeah space age technology that shows every nook and cranny of the genital region so I guess word for it they are tie-dye yeah they're made out of mud all apparently that's the name black cereal but they're what they're on. Kyle's doing the way to work.

Kyle's showing his underwear. They are primarily line with a little bit of pink and turquoise tie-dye in there. It's like a first grade project. Yeah, with a tie-dye. I also got the camouflage ones. And if anyone from MeUndies.com is listening, I also wanted that pink

pair of boxers and i didn't get them and i'd like it if i could get those that'd be great and i and my and my girlfriend i think would appreciate some underwear as well i'd like it if we just match so if we get another like some panties and the tie dye the camo and the pink i'd like to make that happen you know i'm happy when my wife's underwear matches. It doesn't have to. I don't need to join in. No. Relationship building. Kyle, are you having a jiggle, Kyle? Oh, mic check?

Yeah. There you go. I thought it was the thing Taylor had like a month ago, but I think it was just a jiggle. Nah, pills got rid of that. Okay. So I was thinking we start with some of these PKA AMAs that the Patreons sent in. Or the Patreons. Patreons?

Whatever. Patreons both. The Patreons. Patreons. These cool people. So Woody, you want to read it? You seem to be the designated reader. I was just going to propose it to you. Rock, paper, scissors for it?

I will just... I'll just do to propose it to you. Rock, paper, scissors for it. I will just... I'll just do it. All right. All right. So this one sent in, called my girlfriend fat. I guess that's the title. So long story short,

me and my girlfriend got into a big fight about something unrelated to her weight. We ended up getting over it, but the next day she sat me down and said she wanted to talk. Always fun. So we talked out some things. Then she asked me why we don't have sex as much as we used to.

We've been together about two years. Then I told her it's because she's put on some weight in the past year. Well, that was a huge mistake. That was about a week ago. We have fought pretty much every day since then, and she keeps saying she is going to leave. That she can't be with someone that doesn't like all of her. So I told her that I didn't mean it and it doesn't matter. But in reality it kind of does.

Yeah no shit dude. What should I do? Should I stay with her and let her get fat? Fatter apparently. Or should I tell her it bugs me. You already did. And let her make the decision for herself. Her mom is bigger. So she says there's no way.

Yeah, bigger than herself. So it's all trending up. Her mom is bigger. I hate that euphemism, bigger. No, she's just fatter. Like bigger than her mom. Bigger still. Yeah, how long could you live off her in an apocalypse scenario?

Could she fit in a canoe? Could she fit in a canoe? Could she row a boat? Could we go canoeing together? Her mom is bigger, so she says there's no way that she will be able to lose the weight because no one runs in her family. And she's also

bipolar, so it's kind of hard to talk about things that could possibly make her mad. That is all. You don't want to trigger her. Bring home some Dunkin' Donuts. There's soing fucking tumblr in this post please kyle oh right all right so first of all you're not the asshole it she asked you a question and you gave her an honest answer maybe you should ask her like would you prefer that i lied to you or would you prefer that i

was just a different person because i'm not gonna change that's that's just who i am you asked me for my opinion and i gave it to you asked me why i wasn't fucking you it's because you've gained weight we should see other people and just get it over with get rid of that one you don't want the fat crazy chick like like that's not how it works it goes like this on the top tier you've got hot chicks who aren't crazy. Just below that, you've got hot chicks who are crazy. Way the fuck down here. This is the world system. Way the fuck down here.

You've got fat chicks who are crazy, okay? You don't need that. That's a double. That's unacceptable. Fuck that girl. But not literally. No. See, the problem here, you can tell that, by the way he phrased it,

like if it was just a little thing and he was like, oh, she's put on, you know, nine pounds or, you know, 20 pounds recently, like he would have said that to make it downplay a little bit. The fact that he says she's gotten bigger recently means that this is a behemoth of a change very quickly. Like just... He said she put on some weight in the past year. If you put your mind to it, you can pack a lot on

in a year. So it's like if she's not going to gain the it doesn't sound like she has any plans to lose this weight. It sounds like she has accepted this weight as part of her. She's a victim of her genetics.

Yeah, that whole bit about you not being able to love all of her or whatever, she's right. You can't love all of her, and that's the deal breaker right there. There's no reason to think about this anymore. Be like, yeah, you're right. I can't love all of you. That 45 pounds of fat just isn't something that turns me on. I don't want it in my life.

I want to live a long time. I want to live a healthy lifestyle. That's important to me. It's also important that my children are healthy and they live a healthy lifestyle. I don't think I can accomplish any of those long-term life goals with you, Miss Piggy. Yeah. How about he brings a little and then like really loves it. How about he brings a crack pipe and then demands that she love all of him. Sure. I like crack now and then or all the time.

But that's just a part of me. I just love crack. I feel like I'm usually like the kinder voice of what I think is sanity in this thing, but not this time. Like, listen, I'm not saying you expect her to stay model thin until she's 75 years old or, you know, like throughout her entire life or whatever. You know, whatever people I've gained and lost over years. So is my wife. Like, I get that. But this woman seems to be trending bigger and bigger and saying you're going to have to accept that trend. Yeah.

And it's going to get worse and worse now that she's apparently accepted it about herself. It's not even something to overcome now. Now it's something like, well, this, these double stuff Oreos aren't going to eat themselves. And you know,

it's part of me, you know, and you have to love me eating my double stuff Oreos. And then I force us to have, you know, paper over all of our mirrors. Cause I don't want to see myself gorging myself constantly. this is gonna get worse before it gets better buddy you have a responsibility to your partner to stay attractive to that partner right that's part of your deal

what what are you laughing at? You were talking and I was like, to Taylor, I was like, you ever fuck a fat chick? And he was like, and I was like, how fat? And he went, That's funny. Plus, like, how fat was she?

We could have canoed. Was she more than 200 pounds? Oh, no. Oh, really? Well, I'm not good at guesstimating that kind of thing. I see. I wouldn't think so. That's very, very big.

Could you have picked her up and done that thing where you're facing each other and had sex with her standing up? Do you think you could have done that? Like you see in videos online? No. No, I would have needed... That happens in real life. Yeah. No, I mean like that...

You know the porn stance I'm talking about. Like, yeah, no. No way. You couldn't have physically hoisted her? Not for an extended period of time Could you carry her like you know like you carry the bride over the threshold or would you have to fireman carry her It would have it would have been like four bags of mulch your shoulder at the same time. Good enough.

This guy needs to look out for this because it's going to get worse before it gets better. I feel like we sound like such assholes. If this is the first 10 minutes of the show that someone has ever watched, buckle up. It's more woman hate from here. This is all we do here. The whole show.

If this were exactly reversed, the roles, I'd be saying the exact same thing it's not totally i agree 100 yes i i want this to come off as misogynistic it's really not we're we're making light of this because it's we hate the whole fat acceptance movement but if it were a man gaining weight getting the dad bod and the woman was like yeah honey the reason i don't have sex with you anymore is because your dick has shrunk by an inch and a half due to your fat ass. I'd be like, yeah, dude, your dick's shrinking.

Like, yeah, she's going to leave your ass. You better hit that treadmill, get a hobby that involves some physical activity, or she's going to be fucking somebody else, you fat fucker. And he couldn't just say, oh, two extra large meat-loving pieces every night. I'll tell you what.

I think there is a place in some relationships where they co-accept fatness. And if that's your gig, knock yourself out. I don't have blanket-wide fat hate. If your 21st birthday party gifts to each other is that you can both get fat, I don't care. Right? I don't want to share a plane seat with you. But knock yourself out. But if this fucking crazy chick is also getting fat and you're like, hey, I don't really get turned on by her anymore.

And I'm guessing this guy's young. You know, dude, just drop her i i feel like this i'm reading a lot into this but i suspect this relationship is only existing because of momentum like yeah you know she's not re-earning his love on it she's got a lot of momentum a ton of it train yeah she's not re-earning or re-establishing this love all the time instead she's just making some withdrawals with her fatness and bipolar bullshit that he feels like he can't talk to her about anything that would get her upset. Like, it's hard to talk to her about things that could possibly make her mad. That's a line.

That's a quote. Well, fuck. I don't think you should drop it just yet. No, send her packing. Dude, she's a crazy fat. Listen to the suggestion. So don't, first of all, you made this a huge barrel of shit for yourself by saying it and phrasing it the way you did. You could have went about that better based on what you've written.

I don't know exactly how it went down. But what you should do is come up with something where it's both of you. Where it's like, we should start hiking together. Or we should get into lacrosse well she's probably can't play lacrosse i don't know why i went to that any level of physical activity get her into that but make it a wee thing not like hey uh you need to go and not be a piece of shit for an hour every morning like she's gonna fuck you, join my pie club. I might look at the contents of the pantry and be like, you know, honey, I don't think that this and this and this should be a regular that we stock.

Won't go over well. That is such a big deal when it comes to that. I went to Costco a week ago or something, and I can't keep Cheez-Its in the house or they'll just be obliterated. And they don't sell by me. Like I love Cheez-Its. It's my go-to snack food.

They don't have like the one pound human being boxes at Costco. They have like a six pound, like you're having three back-to-back parties and you need everyone to have their fill boxes. And I got one of those and just mindlessly ate it over the course of like three days like a piece of shit and then i had to go back and get something else and i it crossed my mind when i saw that giant palette full of cheez-its and i'm like oh i could use some more cheez-its you know what no i can't i can't i can't take that in our house jackie's like the cheese at nazi and this exists

also with um goldfish if you eat them from the box no bueno you can't do that she gives you shit about it you need to put them in a bowl so that you have a proper portion and then you can take that bowl to the tv with you and it'll end up being like half a cup or something of goldfish that you ration to yourself and stuff oh that that's so depressing to me i've done that i've tried that approach before where but then from the first cheese it on it's not even enjoying cheese it's like oh my god there's like 11 left like like how you're trying to take little little cheese bites to make it last i've tried to do that with oreos and it feels like rat i'm like okay three oreos three seems like a rational amount of oreos and i'm like how pathetic is three fucking oreos in

my glass of milk no give me six oreos and i'm just like who's counting who the fuck's decide how many oreos i get and then i just got the whole sleeve and i usually ration myself one like entire length of the sleeve like there's like like there's like four lengths of it. So I'll peel the box back and I'll eat one entire length of the sleeve, which I think is like fucking 15 or 20 cookies or something like that. It's a shitload of cookies.

Oreos to me occupy a lot of space though. I might grab four Oreos. That's like my personal cap, I think. And if I grab five, all of a sudden, that's a mass of food. I hold them like poker chips. Sit there watching TV and shuffle them.

I'm like, roll them into one stack. I like to do stuff. Sometimes I'll bring a butter knife with me and get creative. I'll take a cream out of 10, 15 cookies and make one giganto cookie that's literally got that much cream in between, like two halves.

I like having fun. I love Oreos. After we just indulged in fat person hate, we're like, I like 15 stuff cookies. I'm going to go one step. So the week after the survival trip, I started eating Five Guys, and I just haven't stopped. I just haven't stopped. I just haven't stopped almost every day.

Because it's unreasonable to get their normal-sized meals every day. It's gross. I get the double bacon cheeseburger all the way. I don't get the onions or the mushrooms. And I get a large Cajun fry and a large root beer, and that comes out to 2,350 calories per meal. And I do that every fucking day. You get a large fry from five guys? That's like, you know those bags they strap to horses' mouths?

That's how many fries are in one of their larges. It's like a 16-ounce cup, and they fill it heaping full of fries, and then they just pour a bunch more on top into the bag. It's literally 2,300 calories that I eat every day. For whatever reason, maybe it's because I'm an inch or two shorter than you. Am I an inch shorter than you? One or two inches shorter than you. One?

About an inch, I guess. About an inch shorter. That doesn't seem like enough. I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm older. We'll give it to you. I would fatten up quickly under that diet. That's what I've been going for. I feel like that's the way to go. I feel like I lost a little weight during that trip. I feel like I've got that to make up for.

And I'm thinking about going into another workout cycle. Doing the dirty bulk. Yeah. Yeah. I think so. I've been eating so much of that Five Guys and I love it. It's the greatest thing ever. So much of that Five Guys, and I love it. It's the greatest thing ever. It really is my favorite meal, I think. I always feel bad about Five Guys and a double meat with all the fixins. Burrito from Chipotle make me feel the same way afterward, where it's like, what have you done?

You feel happy. Oh, did you need twice as much beef? Did you? This is five pounds of compact food compact food once one's not enough but but but yeah like i'll work out though like i'll take some responsibility for myself and not get to 250 fucking pounds or something outrageous certainly not to three or four or five so like she should be doing the same thing for you if she cares about you i i think if um she should she should want to stay fit to be healthy and if nothing else so that you'll want to fuck her. That's the main reason most

people stay fit. So she's not willing to do that for you so get rid of her. Find someone who will do that basic little thing. Like I said, you can have hot and crazy but you can't have fat and crazy. Like there's no reason to settle for that. Unless you got like more energy or something. If he didn't care

at all about her. So clearly he does. So try what I said. Try getting both of you involved in like a physical activity. And both of you like start cooking together. Start doing that. So then you have a lot more control over what's being consumed. Make sure you're going on all the shopping trips. So it's not just a big barrel of diabetes every time she comes home.

I'm stuck on the shopping. You know, maybe identify her weakness and be like, you know what? We shouldn't keep Swiss cake rolls in the house anymore. I just don't think that's good for us. That's a thought. If you partner up on this, that's the right way to do that without fighting. But this chick is a lost cause.

I would fucking dump her on the side of the road. I ate half an ice cream cake yesterday. Chase, that burger and fries with ice cream cake? Half an ice cream cake yesterday. Chase that burger and fries with ice cream cake. Half an ice cream cake. It's called an ice cream roll. And it's literally like a sheet of ice cream, three different kinds. And then they cover both sides of it with, like, cookies.

And then they roll it up. They roll it up into this roll. And you cut slices out of it. But I just ate the whole fucking thing. I just ate the whole fucking thing. I ate the whole fucking thing i think i ate 6 000 calories yesterday there's a critical mass of eating shit like that where like once you if you pass that first sleeve of oreos or pass like half a cake or whatever you don't absorb it anymore i think you know no that's not where i was going with that there's not some way you can eat your way to the other

side like you that would be you just it's like you just give up and you're like you know I'm already in this deep like think about it it would be neat if your body was like you like okay with certain vitamins but if you take 10,000 percent of what they need your body just sort of like doesn't keep them it should be that way with calories like I think it might your 2,000 calories that's what i need 3 000 calories i'll store the rest 15 000 calories we'll just toss 12 that's what should happen i wouldn't i i think we need a nutritionist for this to fit well i could maybe do a little

googling but but i think that might be the case to some extent because sometimes i really do eat an unsettling amount in a day like there's some days where like like maybe it's the day right after a shopping trip and so there's like lots of options it's a great day I'm still a child so like I'll try every single one of them like oh yeah I want those chips and salsa oh but I also want that hamburger helper and that ice cream roll and I'm gonna have five guys for lunch and I'm gonna have like I've been drinking so much soda I literally drank a 12-pack soda yesterday like I don't know how many calories i had this week's been a lot of a lot of calories so much sugar too yeah most of it's sugar uh lots of sugar why don't you just

drink diet soda it's better anyway and it doesn't make your teeth sticky nobody else agrees with me there i i don't tried a diet soda in like a decade. Dr. Pepper is the best. Dr. Pepper's soda. Dr. Pepper's soda is better. So at this point, when I have bad food, I've been working really hard to get in better shape. Like I'm fucking exhausted every day. I've lost 11 pounds.

And I can't measure how much like muscle I've gained or something but it has to be there like i i'm just exhausted every fucking it's just working on construction in the stable but you have to understand like today was a day where we took pressure treated plywood and laid it across the rafters and pressure each one of them weighs like 75 pounds. Like these drenched in arsenic 4x8 sheets of plywood are super heavy. And I'm dragging them into place and just like laying the chalk line, right? I put the chalk line at the top and then I do like a decline burpee. As I like get down on my belly, look at where the rafter is, place the thing and snap the chalk line. And I'm just doing like decline burpees across the top of the stable

roof and everything is so exhausting. I finished sore everywhere. The day before I was, we were putting blocking. So if you can picture a roof, there's rafters and every so often there's the ones that go across so the rafters can't lose their verticalness. Anyway, I'm like a spider monkey on top of that thing crawling all day long. Thanks, honey. I'm like a spider monkey crawling on that thing all day long, hammering stuff in with like a 12-pound framing gun. And it's exhausting. But I'm eating better.

I'm doing that. And all my clothes fit better. So I don't know how much fat I've lost. I know how much weight I've lost, 11 pounds. But I just have to tell myself I've lost like 14 pounds of fat and added some muscle. Do you weigh yourself every day or do you do it like every few days? I probably weigh myself like five days a week. And I don't get all hung up over like, you know,

like I gained a third of a pound or something. I just watch the trend, you know, and make sure it goes in the right direction. But the reason I brought that up is Kyle's talking about some of his sin days. I feel like I put so much work into it. Like, I am not – I'm exhausted. Every muscle in my body, deltoid, bicep, quads, hamstrings, not calves really, but everything else is exhausted on me. And I don't want to have a sin food and just undo the work I put in.

It's too much work. That's where I am right now. Yeah, everybody goes through phases on this stuff, where some days they're working out and then some days they're not. But right now. It's just about knowing when to nip it before it gets just spiraling. Yeah, you can't spiral.

You got to get to a certain point and be like, oh, that's enough. Of gain, you mean? Yeah. You can keep improving. Oh, that's... I guess you could keep improving if you wanted to. If you want.

I don't know. I don't feel like I'm done yet. There were shirts on the rack where I'd look at them and be like, that one doesn't lay right on you, Woody. And now it's like, you know what? It lays better. It made a difference.

That's a good thing. We had a good PK end this week. Some flamethrower action, right? Yeah. That's a good thing. We had a good PK in this week. Some flamethrower action, right? Yeah. I moved my entire setup outside and got the flamethrower out at the end of the episode. Though I think it was a strong episode before we got the flamethrower out. I thought we had a good time. We talked about steroid use and we talked about my doctor and we talked about Cialis, Agra.

We had a good time. That was a great episode. I swear it's a good time to be a Patreon right now. We're doing Patreon questions. The PKN was, I called it a top 5% I think. I stand by that. The flamethrower is so badass.

You're getting a flamethrower. We should mention that. You're getting one too. Yes I and I'm very excited about that I I dude when I got that text from you that I was getting a flamethrower it was like I Felt blessed like I felt jealous. I I don't I am I'm at a loss for words I'm just like how is the universe smiling on me so much right now that I like things are I'm getting like a flame everything's going you know heads up for Woody yeah everything's

coming up millhouse I'm very excited about the flamethrower um that that's gonna be cool i'm wearing my new underwear thank you me undies and and like the the pka adventure stuff is going on like i just feel like like it was firing on all cylinders and damn things are good it's uh the one you're getting is the X42, I think. Which is, it's the less expensive one, but it's actually the one I want. Now, that might change. You'll have both in your hands, and you'll really know which is which. Yeah, my video is going to be all about, like, comparing the two, pointing out that, yeah, one of them's $900, one of them's $1,600, but there's a big difference between them.

The XM42, while it doesn't shoot as far and it's not as powerful, it's more professionally made. It's more professionally put together. And then the X15, which is the larger one, the backpack model, while it isn't as professionally made, it's kind of thrown together parts. It is a legit fucking flamethrower to shoot napalm 50 feet and you know you got the backpack on and you could shoot for several minutes and clear out some rice fields with oh you could clear a rice paddy right the fuck out as you do yeah i i just it well you've had both in your hand so you're a much better

character not yet well you will you will have had them both um looking at the web page though I just, it, well, you've had both in your hands, so you're a much better character. Not yet. Well, you will have, you will have had them both. Looking at the webpage, though, something about the all-in-one contain thing looks to me like my preferred form factor. But you might be like, no, Woody, it's hard. It's very heavy to carry, and the backpack is nice. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah.

I prefer the backpack because I feel like I haven't shot the other one, but I just like having a backpack full of pressurized gasoline on my back. That's pretty awesome. It's three and a third gallons of fucking gasoline on your back and then a 20-ounce CO2 pressurizing it to like 800 PSI, I think, and you're just running around with that shit on your back. It's great. How hot is it? So hot!

it's great how hot is it like so hot like it's i think the diesel last time you said it wasn't that bad which is why you didn't mind it oh it's so hot it burns it like i know those the gasoline and diesel burn at around 475 degrees but that doesn't mean that's as hot as it's getting because there's the air pressure and everything i don't know how hot it is in front of me maybe that's as hot as it's getting because there's the air pressure and everything i don't know how hot it is in front of me maybe that's something i do for the video as i i nail down exactly how hot this blast of flame is but when i really hold the trigger down like for three solid seconds like full blast it gets so hot that i'm like trying to like extend my arm to as far as it'll go but it feels like my face is being burnt not heated up not getting warm but like you know how i imagine it like this like you've tended to a fire before right and and every so often you need to like readjust a log but it doesn't go easily so you're over the

fire longer than you want to be and afterwards you're sweating and and was like... It's a flash heat. You're not burnt, but you're almost burnt. Like whatever, a zero degree burn. Whatever's below first. I've played with this thing five or six times and at least twice, like two of the times, I've like quickly went to a mirror to see if I was injured. Like it burns that badly.

It's a painful burn sometimes if the wind catches it just right and blows it back in your face or something. It's real, real hot. Can you just wear something? Like a mask? Yeah, I could totally wear a motorcycle helmet. I don't want to be a pussy about it. Why would you not burn yourself? One way or another, I'm going to

be on fire for this video. I'll find a way to be on fire at some point in this video. I have a couple fire suits. Just in case. I used to do a little off-road racing and you had to wear those to enter.

I'm probably going to be on fire at some point in this video. It's going to be a good time. You might want a more hardcore fire suit. I got my Ghostbuster suit. That's less hardcore. You're sure I don't protects me against ghosts ghosts If I get cool, is it a legit fire suit?

No, it's a Ghostbuster suit it protects against everything. Oh What is that? Are you just saying it because it looks like a Ghostbusters suit, or is that the name for it? It's literally a pair of coveralls with the name badge and the Ghostbusters emblem. It's a Halloween costume that I bought surplus somewhere. Okay, you're going to need something better than a shit-tier Halloween costume. No, fuck it.

I've been playing this thing all week in shorts, and I'll put shoes on because it drips gasoline pretty bad sometimes. That Malaysian shit to your fabric is going to go up like a match. That thing's so badass. Anytime I see an insect or an

ant mound or anything that I could burn, I just fucking take it out. And the neighbors. There's a mostly African-American neighborhood at the end of my property and over some fencing. And I was in the yard last night, just pitch black dark. It's maybe 11 p.m. at night,

and I'm just running around in my backyard shooting this thing up in the air, straight up and waving it around wildly, shooting like multiple bursts. So it's like lots of fireballs going in different directions directions like a war zone and uh every time you shoot it i mean everything lights up like a like flash photography and i can hear him over there i was laughing so hard motherfucker got a flamethrower

so yeah have you had any run ins with the cops because of your antics yet no not yet I'm expecting it at some point I guess I've been driving around with it just in my passenger seat just kind of strapped to the passenger seat and I figured

you know if I get into any kind of an altercation, I could give somebody a little burst. You know, burn them a little. You could. That would be the news trending worldwide that FPS Russia fends off assailant with

flamethrowers. It'd be great. Or what if I stopped a crime or something? What if there's some crazy shooter and I get out and strap my flamethrower it'd be great or what if i stopped a crime or something what if there's some crazy shooter and i get out and strap my flamethrower on and like come to the rescue you never know sir we're questioning you for evidence you need to drop the act i do not know that what you say like he talked to me in russia i always burn them like no that would be great not for you no probably not um no that that's legitimate like i got a bunch of machine guns and and body armor and all kinds of stuff that goes bang but that thing's

fucking legit when someone sees it they're like they don't think it's real at first and then they see it go off and then everybody's just been shocked and awed my dad hates it he's like like i'm like i yell at him across the field. He's like working on a well pump and I'm by the pond. I'm like, hey dad! He like looks up and I go and like shoot 50 feet of flame straight up in the air and he just goes just like

I strap my cousin up with the thing and let him start playing with it. Dad's like, just one mistake and it's all over. One mistake. And then he just leaves your your dad is in the right there he kind of is but it's like it's a piece of machinery and like i look over the flamethrower and i'm like yeah this is fucking legit like like this is attached here and that's attached there there's no way anything can go wrong like there just isn't like i don't know what could go wrong. Everything seems really sturdy and well-made,

and where things attach together is super heavily over-made, it seems like. I have no fear operating that thing. And if it does go wrong, it'll be like eight-tenths of a second of agony, and then just a pile of professional dust in the middle of your field. It's not a phaser. I think it's going to be a lifetime of agony. No, I mean if it exploded.

Wouldn't that just incinerate you? Unfortunately, no. It would just cover me in liquid gasoline, and then I would ignite. It would take a good probably 30 seconds to put me out completely gasoline and then i would ignite and it would be uh it would take a good you know probably 30 seconds to put me out completely and i would just be burnt horribly i tell everyone i've told like i told my cameraman i told you know everybody that was there i'm like look if i'm fully engulfed like and like my eyes are boiling out of my head like someone shoot my ass like like legit like i was I was like you got your

Gun like yeah, he's like yeah, I got my Glock I'm like shoot me with it like kill me kill me if I'm fully engulfed cuz I don't want to survive it And I'm probably not gonna well I wake up in the hospital with your dad. They're looking at you no lips I should have listened I should have listened when you said that the flame was a chainsaw. Sorry. Sorry, don't grow your lips back. Just eat your ass chips.

Eat your ass chips. Yeah, so I told, and I meant it. I don't want to survive a catastrophic flamethrower accident. I don't think anyone does. Sorry I left you so long. I really wanted to show you my fireproof suit, but I thought it was in the northern attic, but I just couldn't find it. It must be in the southern attic.

Yes, we have a northern and a southern attic in here. What kind of folk live in the northern section of the home? Bridget's in the small door, apparently. Or little people. Yes, little people uh yes little people my mistake i you know i can get why they wouldn't like that i don't know whatever i didn't mean to hurt anybody's feelings both of them are bad i think they need to come up with something better than either yeah i to to so in one regard i see why people get offended when we, for example, say it, because maybe we're furthering the use of those words if we use the word tranny or midget. But I feel like they should realize that we're kind of doing a comedy show here,

and there's a lot of tongue-in-cheek, and you should just loosen the reins for us a little bit. And anyone out there who's impression who's impressionable we're pretty respectful of pretty much any and every community community um so so you know we don't mean any harm we're just trying to make you laugh with all the tramps and midgets and faggots and and and negroes and whatever you might be the gooks the slope i'd yellow yeah the mix the dirty oh wow look at look at risky woody over there taking a chance. No, Kyle's got an Irish thing. I wanted to say we actually do accept mix a little.

Kyle does not. That's where we don't fuck around. We're serious about the Irish. We mean that. But yeah, I see every now and then someone... I don't think I've done it in a long time, but someone will say tranny and somebody will get offended. I saw we had a tranny

a transsexual, I'm such an asshole a transsexual fan and he was like or she, I'm not sure said I'm the one transsexual PKA fan. I noticed it so so said it. Sorry if I offended you. Hey I have another Patreon question.

Do you? Am I an asshole? I like... Yeah, these are the best. So here's my situation. I know this might be a little strung out. I think he means drawn out. Strung out.

But anyway. But I don't want to have any questions about my situations, and you guys are judging my assholishness. I'm 17. I'm a senior in high school. I live a good life up in Canada. Like, that's possible. And money a senior in high school. I live a good life up in Canada, like that's possible, and money isn't really a problem.

I spend a lot of my time inside doing things I enjoy. This might not seem as relevant, but I find it to be. I have friends. I'm happy. And the only thing I don't have is a real job. Quotes. A fact that my friends seem to tease me and think negatively about. I plan to go to post-secondary school for computer engineering and the programs I'm looking at are all co-op programs, meaning I'll have to have job

experience in my field of study. My schooling will be paid for by my parents, thus I have no desire to save up a ton of money in high school. I spend a lot of time on school, straight A's, and I don't want to spend my free time working a part-time job for some extra money that I don't really need at this point in my life. I make some money doing some freelance video editing, but it's not a whole lot, $100 to $200 a week, so I really don't ask my parents for money that often. My point is, am I an asshole for knowing that I'll be able to afford university via my parents and using that to my advantage by not working away my younger years? I know that work experience is always a good thing, but like I said, the co-op programs in my university will allow me to get

some experience at that time as opposed to McDonald's jobs that won't help me get a job later on. I thought this might be a cool question to ask you guys, and it might stir up some conversation. Thanks for the opportunity to ask, love the show, and have for a great number of years. Is he an asshole?

No, he's not an asshole. It depends how he's handling it with his friends like if he's arrogant about it being like oh look at you johnny burger king gotta go there every day just to make enough money to pay for your shit tier uh community college well my parents are gonna take care of this but that doesn't seem like what he's saying it just seems like you know if you're doing well in school, you're getting that 4.0 and you're not slacking and you think that's what's going to prepare you best for your future, yeah, do that. Maybe go out and get a job if you feel like you're being a drain on your parents and you start to demand more money than that or need more money than that, which you probably will

when you get to college. But for now, just pour the effort into school. I think you should ask your parents what they think about all this. Oh, that's good. And that'll be your guide right there. If they say, you know, yeah, if they think you should, maybe you shouldn't. If they think you shouldn't, you probably shouldn't. And they would know better than anyone. I was going to ask, you know, how well off are your parents? Is paying for your tuition like a drop in the bucket to them that they're never even going to miss? Or is it something that's been saved for and focused on for years?

In that case, it might be nice to take a little bit of the burden off of them. It would be a pretty great surprise if maybe you paid for your own books the first semester or something. Although these days, I guess it'd be better just to torrent those motherfuckers. Do that for them. Hey, that's what you should do. Instead of getting a job, figure out how to torrent all of your books offline and then tell your parents, hey, don't worry. Books are on me.

Then you look like a hero all the way around. And, oh, even better, don't tell your parents any of this shit. Get them to give you cash for those books. Then you torrent them. Then you got your money. That this shit. Get them to give you cash for those books. Then you torn them. Then you got your money. That's true. That would make you an asshole, though. Then you're an asshole.

If my mother asked me this question, I would evaluate it based not so much on whether I wanted help getting payment for college, but whether I thought a job would benefit her, right? Like, hey, Dad like, hey, dad, I'm thinking of working at McDonald's just to have some extra spending money. And I think to myself, hmm, does this girl who's getting straight A's and seems to be happy, need employment added to her life? You know, like if she didn't seem to know the value of a dollar, didn't seem to have like a work ethic or maybe an aloofness that a real job would knock off of her, you know, which is something I value, then I would

say, yeah, get a job. But if this was a perfectly acceptable person where things were going right now and why break a good thing, then I would say, no, you focus on your schoolwork. You've got a life to work, especially if it's a McJob. Because I know there's a lot of people who might not like me saying it, but you're not going to get any real valuable experience at McDonald's. You're going to be treated like scum, like you're bottom tier of the bottom tier if you're starting off fresh at McDonald's. If it's a job that's going to benefit you, you're about to go to university. Let's say you're going to be a veterinarian. If you could do a summer internship with a vet

where maybe the first couple weeks you're scooping dog shit, but occasionally you've got to sit in on a surgery or something like that, or you get to learn the ropes a bit, or at least know how things go, that's a job you'd take. But if it's a mick job, you'd be better off studying, enjoying this little bit of your youth that's left. Any of those things. I'm not sure about that. You might be right.

And it's certainly not a crazy thought. But like my first job was at 13. And I don't want to retell stories too long winded. But I scrubbed the rust off bicycle spokes. That was the core of it. I rented out bikes to people who wanted to ride them on their boardwalk. And I'm getting up really early at like 5 a.m. or 4 something to get there at 5. And because it was by the ocean, I was just constantly battling rust.

And I'd dip the steel wool in the bike juice and clean it. And then after that, wash up properly because you can only ride your bike till 11. And I'd peel potatoes for the French fries. And that was my gig. I didn't learn skills that apply to today. Like, you know, I don't really peel potatoes or anything. You should. I could.

I'm pretty good. You could be a big help. If we want to make some French fries, I know what you're going to be doing. Boil them first and I'll take a butter knife and they come, anyway. So, but on the other hand. How long do you boil them? they came boiled i don't know oh you're worthless i know yeah

so um so anyway you don't even know what the bike juice was do you yeah that was pre-mixed it was like uh gasoline kerosene and oil or something all mixed into this it was awful and we and um the steel wool would poke your fingers and then the bike juice would infect it it was terrible so uh anyway but what i got out of that job was a certain work ethic a certain pride a certain like getting to a place on time you know when i had my more real career oriented jobs, it wasn't a new experience for me to understand hours, to understand punctuality, to understand having a boss and respecting that guy. If hypothetically, and I'm not saying that's this guy, but I had lived my whole childhood up to my first job being kind of a spoiled brat who you know like my parents give

me money and i'm privileged now see why i should have to earn anything then maybe i would be a different guy so um uh you do get things out of a mcjob that aren't just cash or the fact that he's concerned enough to bring this up leads me to believe that he's not a really entitled spoiled brat because if he was this wouldn't even be a question in his mind he would just be like oh to bring this up leads me to believe that he's not a really entitled, spoiled brat. Because if he was, this wouldn't even be a question in his mind. He would just be like, oh, of course I'm entitled to this. I deserve this. It's how it's always been and it's how it's always going to be for me.

I'm different. That's right. I'm glad you said that because that's the phrasing I was hunting for. If he's an entitled, spoiled brat, and that's almost why I'd like to ask his parents. If his parents say, oh, yeah, let's get little Johnny in a job. He's an entitled, spoiled brat, and that's almost why I'd like to ask his parents. If his parents say, oh, yeah, let's get little Johnny in a job. He's an entitled, spoiled brat. Then that might be one route.

Or they might say, no, little Johnny's perfect. He's an old soul who's understanding. He's character. He's strong. His grades are high. The path he's on is the one we're looking for from him. There's a chance they're doing this for him because they want, like this is what they want for him. They want him to pour all of his effort

into academics, you know, to get a leg up. There's another thing. With a Mick job, you're typically not self-driven, right? Like you're at a station, that station comes to work and you do a thing. With what he's doing, like he's video editing. I imagine

video editing involves a certain amount of like self-advertising self-promotion finding people who need this work getting stuff done on your own schedule he's building a skill set now that could lead to self-employment so that's not a bad thing at all right like what he's doing is is is better in some ways it's worse than others because he doesn't have, you know, someone teaching humility, but you know, to go out there and create some opportunity for yourself and earn one to $200 a week.

That's all a McJob's going to pay anyway. They're going to tax that. You're going to have to earn $300 to get 200 back. And you know, $ hundred dollars at ten bucks an hour takes a long time mm-hmm so so you're doing fine I think yeah hmm but yeah so doesn't sound like an asshole it doesn't she's always concerning with these a little bit because when you get those am I an asshole I donate to charity but am I giving enough it's, there's something you're not,

like, there's gotta be something else in there, because there's no way, based on the story, you could think you're an asshole. You seem like a perfectly good guy,

who's at least concerned enough to be willing to go out and work if it's what your parents want. But, but yeah, to answer the question, I would, my,

my guess is not an asshole. Yeah, I'd say no. Yeah. Kyle concurs. Do you want to do some questions or mix them in later in the show? I'm looking through a couple. There's a few oddballs here, but it's mostly good.

This one wants to know why I don't have a southern accent. I do, I guess. I've got a little bit of a southern accent. It changes. I'm more likely to dip into the Southern accent if I'm hanging out with some Southern people. Depends who you're speaking to. Yeah.

I have seen him really Southern. Sure. And it's more than just accent. And God, I hope this doesn't come off as negative at all because it's a talent that I envy. But like Kyle can dip into straight aw shucks country boy. Like he'll make less eye contact. He'll be like, oh, you know, like it is the whole package of I was raised in a log cabin without plumbing.

If he needs to go there, it's in his repertoire. Yeah, I suppose so, yeah. I don't know if you can break it out right now or if you need to be innovative back and forth with the same guy. If I need to be talking to somebody else for a certain action? No, it just depends who you're talking to. I'll usually try to sort of mirror wherever they're coming from. There's no reason for my grammar to be better than the person I'm talking to

they're going to see that as a slight or if I pronounce a word if they say oral if they're going to put some oil in their car and instead of oil they say oral then there's no reason for me to look like an oddball and be like yes oil, yes oil

no just say oral just move along I i wish i could so i used to go a little bit of arrow on it i used to go off-roading all the time and these guys were country country like back country deep south they had banjos and shit yeah oh my god and um i didn't fit in like i couldn't i tried i liked them but they didn't like me and uh and there'd be so we talked on the cb a lot and you have to know how shitty a cb speaker is it's it maybe some people have good ones but mine was shit it was like an all-weather outdoor boat radio thing and uh they'd be talking about like tires and i'm like come back yeah yeah I think like you look at you die I'm like I I'm really sorry

but I don't know what we're talking about right now you know and uh and it would just it it would distance me from them yeah wait what did they sound like again this is the tire and it would be just tar essentially no I know i just i like hearing your impressions yeah yeah look at your tire your tire's going flat over it's yeah see now i understand you but this is and it's over a cb which just adds a level of difficulty to it yeah and it was stronger than you just did there and um that was one of the reasons i felt like why did i stop off-roading really well part of it it was that it's a lot of time you know we'd go super far away and uh and it was expensive but a

big factor in it was i just wasn't making friends like i wanted to it seemed like two and every 10 people were getting along with me and enough is enough and i just fucking stopped you know like now i'm like and just to get to explain why i wasn't getting along know? Now I'm like, just to get to explain why I wasn't getting along, in my head I'm like, Woody, simplify your fractions. Right? But this in this deep southern thing,

it just wasn't fitting. What are you laughing at? I want to make a fraction joke, but I know better. All right. I don't know the fraction right i don't know that to myself all right we were talking about fractions earlier yes yes all right yeah i'm gonna make a joke but i i'm just gonna shut the fuck up it's what i'm gonna do appreciate that but um that's what i'm gonna do yes sir but yes sir ain't no need for no risk protect here, no sir. Kyle on the other hand, you know, I was with him and the whole collection of people that were really Southern, and he was like, suddenly I was the only non-Southern guy there. And I'm like, Kyle, Kyle left me.

What? I offered him some skull. He didn't. He had to leave it behind. They was both. I think I picked that up selling cars. I would always do that, you know, because the customer base would vary so much. Sometimes I'd have to deal with, like, a single white woman with a kid. And then sometimes I'd have to deal with a really

hood black guy. I gotta make this guy like me, I gotta find a way for us to relate to one another, so the way I would talk would change, and I would start sounding more like him. But then I'd have some old, fogey redneck who would come down to buy a truck, and I'd talk to him about fishing and stuff like that. And I'd stop pronouncing my Gs on ING words. I need to sell cars for a year. It sounds like sociopath boot camp, right?

You spend six weeks selling cars. You'll have all your accents down. You'll have, you know, like you'll just mold right in. And, like, it sounds great mold right in and, like, it's... Sounds great. I can give it a go. Day in the life. I don't think everybody did that. It was just kind of me. I just, you know,

just trying to do whatever I could. To be friends. Yeah. Yeah, that guy. But, yeah, you... We've seen your accent skills, so I would imagine... What would be hilarious is if you tried to fit in with those off-roads. but yeah you you we've seen your accent skills so so i would imagine it i would love what would be hilarious is if you tried to fit in with those uh off-road guys like this is my southern accent

like did he have his voice box taken out like what's his deal i your accents are so bad i'm still not convinced that this is an employ. Just as a gag, a bit. I did one that was good. Because every one of them, it's like an asymptotic line that approaches Indian accents but never reaches it. Like, it'll start out southern, and then before you know it, it is a bad Indian accent. And sometimes you'll just throw some gravel in the back for no apparent reason. Like, oh, it is me senor pirate what yeah that's that's real bad yeah i woody's not uh good with the accents i think it has

something to do with the the same disability disability that makes it hard for him to pronounce words and names i think that like carl drogo i love that like he called he's called called carl drogo carl drogo that's that's but he's got a dozen of those oh way more than a dozen there was a while there that he went like on a like nine straight streak of not knowing any celebrities names like at all i feel like he studied at some point because at some point he just got a lot better it felt like there was one night where he was like getting them all every one after another who's this you getting uh celebrity names you've really taken an upswing well you couldn't have gotten worse but it's gotten gotten better you've been getting a

lot of them first try um some of my regulars i just know now like Liam Nielsen Nelson oh my god no but um Emma Watson I feel like I actually learned her name over this time yep now is Emma Watson the Harry Potter chick or the redhead she's the Harry Potter chick oh yeah and yeah what isam's last name is it neeson fuck that should be the woody lightning round that we do as we come up we say uh name of the guy in gladiator and then he'll say like russell simmons or something like that'd be good uh you're thinking of leslie nielsen who's the gray-haired uh slapstick comedy from Airplane and Naked Gun and all that stuff.

Is he a good actor? He was really funny. I liked all that stuff. You didn't like Airplane? I did like Airplane, but I felt like it was the... It wasn't his acting that did it for me. As a matter of fact,

I was always slightly annoyed by that guy, Leslie Nelson. Oh. Whatever. You didn't like the Naked Gun movies. I didn't really. With O.J. Simpson and everything. Would you say you hated him more or less than Robin Williams? It's just a style of comedy I think you hate.

So I bet I can guess some... I bet you hate Chevy Chase, right? Yeah. Do you like Steveve martin sometimes uh you don't like jim care i'm with robin williams too like robin williams has had a couple good roles that i enjoyed as well just usually not as goofy ones like when he's doing his flubber character which he did in like half his movies uh that that's not my cup of tea aladdin right i i feel like he played that sort of goofy off the wall that was how his comedy was too like unplanned spontaneous you know super fast thought process they used to give him credit yeah i like it yeah i feel like

he's really on a roll and and he's like and and it may it's really. If you really listen to it, like he's coming up with some crazy connections. If you really listen to it, there's a whole lot of sound effects and just zings, roos in there. And you're like, that's not even a fucking thought. Like you're just filling airtime with shit. There's a lot more quick, you know, bang, bang, bang jokes than just like, ho, ho, ha, ooh, zing. Like, stuff like that. I like him. I understand where you're coming from.

Yeah, he's just not my cup of tea. But I think you definitely don't like slapstick comedy, it seems. Like, I don't know, did you like the Three Stooges? No. I don't think anybody born after 1941 really liked the Three Stooges. I like the Three Stooges. I think they're still kind of funny. I don't laugh out loud at them like I did when I was a kid,

but I can still get a chuckle from the Three Stooges when Shemp starts doing something silly. Any of them. What about Chris Farley? Oh, I liked Chris Farley. Yeah. I was kind of slapsticky like in Tommy Boy where most of it degenerates into him just yelling eventually. Fat guy in a little coat.

Yeah. Ruined the temper, the melody of that. But it was still, it really made me laugh. I thought that was funny. But yeah, I guess now that you say it, it really was just him kind of yelling and being fat. Yeah. Still really funny i probably wouldn't have liked chris farley if he made 10 more movies like the people who didn't die

um you know chevy chase jim carrey uh adam sandler you know i really like the water boy love that movie but after you see him play that same sort of dopey this is why adam sandler accent that's terrible but uh like the the accent that he does during the hanukkah song that great thing i forget how it goes the thanksgiving song like he just put out so much material using the same joke that it wore out on me and i bet chris farley would have done that to me had he not died early. It's possible. Well, who else was in his class that's irritating now? I'm trying to, like David Spade did. He doesn't really do anything anymore.

He has been on a primetime television show without pause for literally like 25 years. What's he on now? I don't know the name of the show. I can't tell you the name of the show he's on now. But he was doing an interview on Stern, and they were talking about how successful he'd been, how he had literally been on some primetime big deal TV show without stop for like over a decade.

It was a ridiculous amount of time. And he still does stand up and does well from that. And he just did Joe Dirt 2, and it went straight to Crackle, which I'm sure was like a payday of time. He still does stand up and does well from that. He just did Joe Dirt 2 and it went straight to Crackle, which I'm sure was a payday for him. I don't think he's just doing that for charity. They produced the movie. Is Entourage a TV show? It is.

I watched three episodes of that and I did not care for it. The Goldbergs looks like a TV show. Did you ever watch Entourage? Rules of Engagement. He was on that for six years. What'd you ask, Taylor? Did you ever watch Entourage? They seem like a bunch of douchebags

doing douchebag things. It just didn't interest me. I think Kitty's got it on her Amazon or something like that. She watches anything that's mindless when she's doing work. And, I don't know, she was painting the other day and there was Entourage on in the background. But, like, nah.

I don't watch that. I'm watching Boardwalk Empire again right now. Oh, I just re-watched that again. I can name them, actually. I've got it up here. He was on Just Shoot Me, 97-203. Eight Simple Rules, 204-205. Carpet Bros, 208 to 210. And then it has SNL, 1990 to 210.

I don't know how well that sticks. Rules of Engagement, 2007 to 2013. And that covers it. He's been on TV shows back from like 1990. Larry Sanders Show from 92 to 98. But even if he didn't do anything like I feel like you're allowed to not do anything heck that um whoever played Winnie Cooper and was that show with the guy who did lots of voiceovers Fred

Savage oh the wonder years so wonder years yeah Winnie Cooper's not a loser because she's not doing TV anymore. She just, whatever, she was on TV, hopefully made her money, and then chose a PhD in mathematics. That's, I don't know. You can do what you want. But David Spade, I feel like, has been really successful as not a top-tier celebrity.

I like what he's done with his career. I listened to his interview not too long ago, so this is kind of in my head, but they were talking about how much money he makes just touring. Apparently, he can go out anytime he wants and make a considerable amount of money just going from comedy gig to comedy gig because he's David Spade.

Yeah. A lot of those actors, you'll look up their Wikipedia, and it'll be like, actor, producer, and comedian. comedian it's like how the hell is this guy comedian and i never knew about it but i bet they go out and get a few grand every spot if it's a decent gig and it's probably not hard to get booked if you have the name recognition even if nobody knows about your comedy like i don't know anything about david spade style of comedy but if you saw that at least you'd be tempted to be like oh maybe i will check that out. Maybe he's funnier than just Tommy Boy.

He's a funny guy. I like his stand-up. Yeah, I haven't actually watched it. I'll have to check it out. I've been trying to get into Louis C.K., and I think I watched either two or three specials. It's hard to tell because I didn't make it through any of them. I'm really struggling. I really just don't think... Did you watch the But Maybe thing?

He has a... Yeah, he's like, But Maybe! What's the piece called? Is it a bit? I think a bit is a collection of jokes. He has a bit called But Maybe. Which special was that? Two years ago? Something like that's uh which special was that like two years ago something

like that's a good guess yeah two years ago it was the one that was a little disappointing because i felt like he was on top of the world his stuff was like an awesome special another grand slam special and then the new one comes out two years ago and you're like it's not that i hated it i've just been getting grand slams out of him his last two haven't been very good I I can't get behind the in any of his stuff and I want to like he's had a couple of shows and one of them's called like Louie and the other one's called like Unlucky Louie or Lucky Louie or something like that and like I watched like multiple episodes of both of them I think and then I watched at least two of his specials and I even picked some of the older ones that went back to maybe a 2006 special and a 2008 special or something like that

because I thought, oh, that's probably his good stuff. Go back to Chris Rock's early stuff. That's when he's really killing it. Go back to Dave Chappelle's Killing Him Softly. That stuff's amazing. I bet his early stuff's good, but I couldn't get through it. He just wasn't entertaining me.

I wasn't smiling. I was just watching him do his thing and just nodding like i i he doesn't he doesn't uh he doesn't make me laugh i thought his 2008 special was pretty good like not uproarious uproarious or anything like you weren't dying laughing like i wouldn't put any of his on par with any of Bill Burr's. Like I think Bill Burr's worst is still better than CK's best. Yeah. I really enjoy, uh, Bill Burr.

Uh, his, his, his worst I think was his last, that, that black and white one. Um, I didn't like that as much as I'd liked any of the others,

but the previous three just kill, like, like every bit of them. One thing about Louis CK, and I see this with some like people that are killing it you're like man must be good to be Louis C.K. right now

he's just whatever 20 year overnight success I don't want to say overnight success like he didn't work at it but in 2008 he got divorced so while on the outside he was doing his best comedy work ever, and he thinks we're crushing it,

and he's telling stories about his family and stuff, and you see him as that. In real life, he's suffering some traumatic shit. Notch from Minecraft. He got divorced as he was making his billion. And that's some rough stuff right there. My closest experience of divorce is pka dan you know he stayed in our place and and i got a vibe for how hard it is to

go through and um i don't know when i see louis ck or uh right now that who's playing batman uh tall dark handsome guy um oh affleck affleck he's playing the new batman affleck's getting divorced louis ck got divorced all these guys and it's like dude like you don't want to be them you want to say like that he's got a hundred million like all of life's problems are not an issue because for most people getting money is the primary like it's where they spend all their time it's the focus of all their problems and you know like it's hard to relate to to money not being you know like the biggest concern in your life but uh dude i don't know it sucks to be louis ck no i wouldn't go that far

like he's wildly successful i didn't like his show either, but hopefully he has a rebound, makes another special that I think is really funny. His show, though, I didn't watch Lucky Louie, I think the one that got canceled first, but how many episodes did you watch of the Louie show, Kyle? Because I tried to get into that, and I just couldn't. I definitely watched the first episode,

and I don't think I made it through the second. I watched a lot more, although I can hardly remember it, but I don't think I made it through the second I watched a lot more although I can hardly remember but I finished whatever was on Netflix makes me sad for him and not in a sad way where it's like oh ha ha ha just some chap down on his luck for a bit it's like oh this is depressing like

he paints himself as like genuinely miserable yeah and you believe the theme song is a downer like I couldn't even hum it but the like it opens up with this like oh things aren't going well it's uh yeah it's it's weird dude putin so putin's banker vladimir putin this is the uh the in charge of Russia dude. His banker is suing him for $12 billion. And apparently they like work together or something. And Putin, using his power of Putin-ness, just expropriated his assets.

Like he declared that bank's assets to now be Putin's. And the banker is claiming that Putin is actually the wealthiest person on the planet. Richer than Bill Gates, richer than Warren Buffett. That while it doesn't show on paper as his personal assets or something, like he is in control of far more money like he can just take whatever he wants like you know if you're a billionaire in russia and you think you have a billion you don't because putin because it's putin's billion um they think that he is the healthiest guy on earth some of those arab princes have access to or in royalty have access to enormous amounts of hundreds of billions.

So I feel like they rank up there. But I've heard that before about Putin. One thing I heard on maybe NPR or something, it's been months ago now, they were saying that he had such an enormous fortune that he had, and I don't remember exactly how, but in some nefarious way, he had made a lot of money his. And they were saying that he had two choices. He could either pass along power to someone who was still his puppet, like a Medvedev situation like we had a while back.

Or he could never leave power because whoever would take over would surely seize him and all of that money back for the country. So I don't think we're going to see the end of that guy for a long time. There are limits, though, right? Like, he could put that money in a Swiss bank account. Or if he put it in, like, Wells Fargo or something in America, then, like, Wells Fargo doesn't respect Russian seizing. I don't know enough about international banking. seizing or something i don't know about international banking yeah there's hundreds when there's hundreds of billions of dollars and like a world superpower and financial institutions i wouldn't

i figure all bets are off it he should just sit tight with that money and wait until he's he's dead you don't even need that much bill gates had this thing and i think i've said it before but he's like a hundred million he's like i can understand why you'd want to be rich i can see you know that you want to have money you can do things you don't have to worry about money and stuff he's like but after a hundred million you've got plenty of money and you think about that like um you know these expensive like super great mansions and stuff are going for like 20 million at some point houses just don't cost any more 20 million and you still have 80 million left over to live off of and you're outrageous at home and your cars and like how many a supercar is a

million right yeah can you have more than like can you enjoy more than like four of them or something? Sure. One for one, at least one for each day of the week. But I figure, you know, if you've got tens and hundreds of billions, then, then all of a sudden you could hire some lobbyists. We could get some, we could make some change happen. We could, uh, we could influence a few politicians. Maybe I could get some, maybe I could really have some power. And I think that's the difference between a few billion and hundreds of billions of dollars, is the enormous amount of power that this guy's got. Not only could he just go...

He just went and took a little bit of another country not too long ago, and nobody said shit. He went and took some of it. He was like, that part's mine now, motherfucker. And then they just shot down a random airplane. Like, those weren't even Ukrainians he killed. Like, nobody's going to fuck with that guy. That's true.

It was like a Malaysian airline. Yeah. He's got a lot of power. He does. One of the most powerful people in the planet. I wouldn't be surprised if he was actually the richest person on Earth. Like, who else aside from the like royal family of saudi arabia sketchy to me like so you know what happened what popped into my head when you said

that is my contractor the sketchy fuck who did this house um he told me he had something like 70 million dollars worth of coal like royalty access to that and And I'm like 70 million. Holy smokes. Like this is an amazing opportunity. You know, like why isn't that your main focus? Like why are you working on my freaking hardwood floors when you have 70 million in coal? So he was lying. I don't think he was. I think that it's not as great as it sounds. You know, he's like, I just have to get it out of the ground. Oh, is that all? And then he starts telling me about all the gosh darn hardships. All the, you know, like, yeah, the conveyor belt broke and this happened.

And his investors stopped investing because he's like, we were just about to make money. And, you know, we just needed one little more splash of cash, and things would have been fine. But anyway, getting out of the ground profitably is hard sometimes. It's cash, though. So the Saudi royals are given allowances by the royal court, and they're enormous. They have a pool of cash money. They're not dipping into a personal account. They're dipping into the country's bank account. So it's never ending. When's the last time the United States passed a balanced budget? It's been a little while, right? But we just keep spending the money.

And it's the same thing for these guys. It doesn't matter if they technically have the cash on hand because of all that oil money. But even if they didn't, they just keep spending it. So if he wants to spend $50 billion tomorrow, he can. I think the Saudi guys have more money than anybody. I don't know. At some point, back to Bill Gates' point, after $100 million, I feel like you're good. You have all the money you could want.

I disagree. It just depends what you want to do. If you want to do truly outrageous things, like if you want to jet set constantly, like if you want to spend, you know, if you want to be on two continents a day, if you want to be doing, if you want

a 747 for you and your posse and another one for your vehicles when you fly into whatever country you're going to this week. That way you've got your $200,000 truck that you can all pile into. Yeah, but what it means is that you have enough to live comfortably the rest of your life. And like, oh, five generations down. Like, not that you can't like, oh, well, you can't afford six planes.

It's not, yeah, yeah, right? It's like you can't have two 747s flying on that's what these saudis every day that's what these guys do though like like like these guys are ridiculous like that i remember the king of jordan uh hearing about how like he did that thing i described where like he had the plane for him and his friends and the other plane flying behind him with their vehicles so they both land and all the vehicles unroll out of the cargo plane and they all get in their their pimped out vehicles and they go and do whatever they're going to do in that country. And they've got like diplomatic immunity.

Like I feel like that's about as. I hear you. I don't even think I want that. Oh, come on. I don't want to travel that much. What I can see doing is being like, you know what? I feel like dinner in Paris right now. You know, like it's morning but

or whatever it would take because of the time zones but like let's do dinner in paris because fuck it at a hundred million you have go to paris for a meal money you're fine i'd want to have like a house that looked really really normal from the outside and just drive like a couple-year-old Jeep Grand Cherokee, but underneath is just like an underground fortress of majesty and luxury. So then everybody, when I did anything a little outrageous, they'd be like, yeah, but look at that guy. He's still at his roots. Look at that house.

Look at that car. He could afford so much more. Give him a pass. Whereas if you do something crazy as a rich guy they're not doing that exactly but but in i'm i've been reading about new york now this isn't the city i think or maybe it's the bronx or whatever let's just call it new york i don't know um when they have these like there's a term for their stone houses like uh it's not townhouse it's astone, I think is what I'm going for.

Anyway, they can't build out anymore. You can't have more land, your neighbors say, but they can build down. So they're building, I don't even want to call it a basement, like mansion basements, like amazing basements with indoor pools. And it doesn't feel basement anymore. They've got skylights in the backyard to like bring in natural sunlight. And like, they're just going wild. They have two to three story basements that just keep going down and they

build it like while they live above it. Like they just tunnel under there and they have like what I picture to be heavy equipment, like excavators underground working as they go three stories deep on their basement. Yeah, I was reading that about London because the property values had apparently skyrocketed there. I believe it was London, but it was really cool that that was what they were doing. They were creating these really rich guys who were creating super basements just just truly uh incredible basements did you hear about david cameron that whole thing where apparently stuck his dick in a

dead pig's mouth as some sort of college initiation prank ritual type thing who hasn't done that i gave right right i didn't stick my dick in it but i bit that pig's ear that time um it was dead what's up with that that that can't be true that whole story about the aren't there the guys oh well i was not aware of this i don't think there's any photos i just think it's um i didn't see any photos that was college yeah i don't know why they're making such a big deal out of this thing who cares if he stuck his dick in a pig pig's mouth whatever like clearly he wasn't like it was a it was a gag like he wasn't like now that'd be one thing if he was just like if he did it and i was like and then he's just like yeah yeah and everybody's just like when's dave

gonna let the joke drop like he's really getting into this one huh yeah he's quite the laugher he's not letting this one go is he yeah yeah! He's like twisting the pig's ear and stuff. I don't think that's what went down. Stop. You did it. They want the pig now. They want the pig back now, David. They're gonna eat it. Oh no, I'm finished. I don't think that's what happened.

What an awful way. Oh, his PR person must just be having a shit fit. There's no way to respond to that excuse me prime minister pig fucker i got a bit of a problem here like how do you let that one get out somebody should have been out there squashing that down like like bribing people doing whatever you had to do to keep the pig fucker story out of the light of day no but see you can't even try and squash that down because then it's like you know what i think happened to hide pig fuck i bet i bet that got dug up in relation to this that whole pedophile scandal that they're having over there i bet i bet there's lots of investigators digging around

into all the government i bet it came out because of something like that you know it seemed like they let all those uh that there's this big pedophile uh ring that they exposed where you had these upper class British people basically fucking a bunch of kids, it turned out. And it seems like nothing's going to come about of that. So it's nice to know that they're just as fucked up as we are. That's great. I've said this before, but nobody insults America like America. When Ferguson is happening, it's all this major race problem. Things are terrible.

Some people would be like, hey, this group of people isn't being good citizens. Other people would be like, oh, we have problems with people assuming that they're not good citizens. And all this controversy. Whereas in France, they have riots and stuff. And they don't say that their country is seriously damaged or flawed like we do. I bet they do. We just don't hear about it as much because we are a bigger player on the world scale as far as, like, when something happens here, like, people know about it from other countries.

It's just a bigger deal, frankly, as far as how much it impacts the world as a whole. deal frankly as far as how much it impacts the world as a whole then and you know it does seem that it's like cool like hip now to be like oh fucking america landed the free yeah right we can't even you know do this and that and oh republicans like everyone's so fat everyone's so this and you know we did i was watching the joe rogan experience recently he's talking with donald cerrone and they're like you know what amer America's got a lot of pussies in it. We're not like Canada where there's men, men, lumberjacks, and bearded people, and this and that. America's filled with pussies. And I think, man, it doesn't matter what you say about America.

People just sort of latch on to it if it's bad. They'll go with it. I had a friend who— It's very safe to make fun of America. Nobody's going to get offended because if you do you're a nationalist He was saying people needed to drink more right? This is water He's like all these Americans are walking around dehydrated typical American always dehydrated Really really this is the fucking land of milk and honey like it. We are so well fed

Apparently, but we can't find any water and we're just in a constant state of dehydration all the time. I don't buy it. But I feel like so long as it's negative and it's about America, you're good to go. People will believe it and latch on to it and run with it. I don't know why that is. But you see it, right? It's a noticeable trend that it's just a very safe thing to make fun of america even americans just like it's because it's become so popular i think that if other americans get in

on it like oh these fucking ridiculous americans then all the other foreigners back oh well you know this this is a cool one we found the one guys you know this guy's cool in our books because he sold everybody else down the river you know all, all those other fat fucks, not me. Like, it's just... I was teasing. You have to notice that as well, Kyle, right? It's easy to make fun of America. We're a big target. And there's so many

Americans. There's 330 million of us spread out over this whole gigantic land here. So there's all shapes and sizes and different kinds of assholes in America. So you could say something negative about America, and there's all shapes and sizes and different times kinds of assholes in america so you could say something negative about america and there's some probably some americans who will exemplify that if you look hard enough i was talking to chiz we were doing the stable stuff right and the stable involves lots of like climbing on we're working on a roof so there's lots of climbing

ladders and pulling yourself up and whatnot and he doesn't like being on the roof or a ladder at all he is a ground fellow that's his preference and um now i was like you know why don't you come up it's okay you know this is the emergence of sexy chis like to do some climbing and um uh he's like woody when i fall i fall a lot faster and a lot harder than you do and i'm like chis you fall like american it's not even you're doing it is it true i i don't know i'm so mad so look intellectually i understand that like regardless of mass things fall at the same rate or whatever but in practice they kind of seem to don't like if, if I drop, I don't know. I don't know what it'll be.

Well, that's only in a vacuum, and it's... Thank you. Maybe you can fill the rest of this out. No, I was saying, like, he seems to fall harder because there's a lot more mass at the point of impact, so, like, it's more like... Will he accelerate faster? No.

No. No, accelerate at the same rate. There's a gap in my physics here. 10 meters per second squared, right? Yes, that's the formula. Yep. It's not that I don't know the physics. It's that it doesn't match up with my experience oftentimes.

Or is it cubed? If I drop something light and I drop something heavy, that heavy thing seems to make a beeline for the ground. And that apparently is not the physics. Well, I think that's psychology. How about this? If you drop an empty soda can. If you drop an empty soda can and a full soda can,

they'll hit the ground at the same time. There you go. Absolutely. In a vacuum. If you're dropping it from like 30 feet and it's a little windy, that full one is going to hit the ground faster because the wind resistance applies more to the... God, we sound like assholes to anyone sitting here.

I'm going to do a quick experience here. I'm going to drop a knife. It's kind of heavy. And a sharpie. I'm going to see if one hits the ground more quickly than the other. They're going to hit the ground at the same time. Yes, they do. The sharpie literally hit first.

I attribute it to an error in my dropping. But I didn't expect that. No. What did you expect? Like the knife hits and you're like, see? Even as I speak, the pen continues to throw. Take that, Isaac Newton! Take that, Isaac Newton!

I don't know. You can't rewrite calculus. This is how it works. I thought that, okay, if it was paper, obviously, it wouldn't do the same thing, right? There'd be a little of that action going on. In a vacuum, the paper and a lead ball would hit the ground at the same time. It's just the air slowing the thing down. However, an empty can of soda and a full can of soda are dealing with the same amount of wind resistance.

To those of you watching the show. can of soda and a full can of soda are dealing with the same amount of wind resistance. To those of you watching the show... It's not like blowing straight up, like blowing the can away or anything. To those of you watching the show, marveling at my stupidity, please cut me a little slack. You probably had a moment like this too. He is an American, right? Oh!

There's a clip on that online. It's either on the moon or in some science factory where they dropped a feather and a bowling ball. Where they create science from scratch. They drop a feather and a bowling ball at the same time, and they both fall exactly the same speed in the vacuum. I've often seen it done with different size and weight spheres on a ramp. But somehow I just didn't think it would work with a sharpie and a knife but it did look at that so like people will say oh well does this bullet

drop faster or not as fast all the bullets drop the same speed the the thing that you got to aim higher because when it's a slower bullet if your, the faster your bullet gets from your gun to the target, the less you have to elevate. Because everything drops at the same rate. I hadn't attributed that to ballistics, but that makes sense. Yeah, they all drop at the same rate, but they get there at different rates.

So you could shoot your gun and at the same time drop a bullet, and both of them are going to fall at the same rate, and so you can do the math and figure out how high to aim above something at a certain range based on the velocity of the bullet. They need to shoot a bullet that looks like a little wing and do a thing. How would you do that? You'd have to have a tail rudder too.

To look like a little airplane. That's called a missile. Yeah. Those work too. No, I don't know. let's not get any deeper into physics yeah apparently i've exceeded my depth physics is our strong suit can't you hey you want to do kyle's topic here i have a topic uh you linked it oh i just thought it was funny for a for a laugh there. That image link? Yeah.

With Brock Lesnar? Well, yeah. So there's the old thing. It says, you know, would you do? It's sort of a would you question. Here's the kicker. One five-minute round and no ref against, excuse me. So you're fighting Brock Lesnar.

And it says, would you go one-on-one with Brock Lesnar in an MMA fight for $1 million? Yes or no? Here's the kicker. It's one five-minute round, no ref. He doesn't stop pounding you until five minutes is up if he doesn't want to. So, would you?

And Alstair Overreem just writes, Yes. And then, just for reference, this is what... If you look in the comments down there, the first comment is a gif of Overeem destroying Lesnar. Yeah, anyone who's not another professional fighter, though, if he has a contract where it's like, you cannot stop beating this person for the

full five minutes it's like you won't make it three minutes before you're dead yeah i don't know about that yeah you're gonna be dead dead dead i feel like you need to master some sort of like running martial art i think the running martial arts some sort of french practice yes yes i just want to say something overeem was on a lot of steroids at the time he did that to lesnar now really not as many as lesnar like look at lesnar like come on i was about to head there too yeah i now lesnar's been a beast since his college days and usually that's that's one of the things people do they look at the overeem fought like a weight class or two below uh six now eight years ago or something like that lesnar on the other hand has been like that since puberty

so i don't know i mean look at that it doesn't seem like a natural physique to me and all this time in the wwe imply steroids to me you know an environment where that's sort of encouraged and whatever. But Overeem's been busted. Yeah. Lesnar's just such a scary individual. Taylor, would you do steroids? For what? There has to be like an end game.

Cosmetic purposes. Oh, no. No way. That's awful for your heart. I'm talking out of my ass i'm not 100 sure what if you had a doctor oh if like a doctor said it was okay and that it wouldn't give me bad side effects then yeah i'd try it but that's like really really bad for you isn't it like you're gonna die 20 years earlier because your heart's just gonna explode i mean you're you're right it's really really bad for you if you're taking the kind of doses that a professional

bodybuilder might take. But there seem to be a lot of people who say, you know what? The steroid boogeyman, when taken in lower doses and in moderation, is not as bad as people say. Now, I don't know. It's outside my area of expertise. But the other thing is the psychological part of it. Like, I've had friends who did steroids. And I'm exaggerating. I had a friend who did steroids.

And he was a swimmer slash water polo player. And he got so into it. And it's like a really common story. Like, you know, he started weightlifting and he had these improvements in his body. And it was all done in an effort to be a better swimmer slash water polo player. He, like, was on a college scholarship and shit. But after a while, that became secondary. It was really about, like, what it was doing for his body and then the impact that that would have on his ego and self-esteem.

And he was all wrapped up into his gains and stuff. And I've seen so many people come off of steroids because i'm such an mma fan and they start posting like inspirational shit on their instagram like still me and he looked he's like the dad bodge creeping in and you know and you're like dude not still you no you're looking flabby compared to steroid you i think we need to do some practical research here i'm going to talk to my doctor about this see if we can get me on a low dosage of steroids talk to your doctor if steroids are for you you just have some big hulk of a guy you talk to your doctor see if steroids are right for you too and he just crushes

an apple in one hand it explodes and then he goes into a roid rage it starts crying hysterically and punches a wall are you familiar with hgh gut uh yeah and there's another term for it too it starts with a p like palombano gut or something like that organs keep growing with human growth hormone i think i mean i've heard that that's not true is it the Things do keep growing. Your head does. And it looks kind of weird. You mentioned Joe Rogan with that. I didn't notice that ever until you pointed it out. And I went and looked at a couple pictures.

And he's got a hell of a coconut up there. I couldn't afford to do steroids. My head... It's already gigantic. I couldn't afford it. He'd be a bottlehead character. Yeah, but I look pretty great, right? Like a handler holding my head up like a newborn. I'm seriously, like, I think I'm going to make a doctor's appointment probably next week.

And here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to say, hey. And this is where I'm legitimately coming from. I'm going to say, hey, I've heard that sometimes guys have low testosterone and they treat that. I want to take a testosterone test. Let's figure out what my testosterone levels are and if they're healthy and if they're not, let's do something

about it because I think that would be great. And I want to see what my doctor says about all this. My prediction is that they are healthy. You have to say, I want to know if they've declined since I was 18. And if they have have let's go back yeah because that's a guarantee that they have yeah yeah i uh i think that's what i'm gonna do and i'm gonna talk to him about and i'm i'm from i've done a lot of research in the past about this

so i'm familiar with the the gyneoplasty you know the bitch tits and the the back knee and um um the uh the the hair loss which is the biggest one that would concern me. But I believe that as long as you're not doing a massive dose, and as long as you stack or cycle or whatever you call it, you go on to some other drugs to balance your estrogen, testosterone levels and make sure they don't get way out of whack, because your body stops producing testosterone when you're on it yourself That's why your testicles shrink temporarily, and I think there's a lot. I think there's could be some gains there

I think that would be fun my tips. I'm sorry. I was a gap. Please carry on No, I think that would be cool I would like to try that under the under the supervision of a doctor and see just how Sure, you need risky, dude. Woody and I watched this video. Oh my god. It was on PKN. I don't know if we want to re-watch it. The before and after.

He went from a guy who works out a few days a week and has... He was strong but flabby. Wide shoulders, not a lot of definition, but a lot of bulk he went from that and kind of baby face there was so there was enough fat on him that he kind of had a poofy face when one year like the guy the guy the camera goes god damn like he came out the same machine as captain america he just did 10 years of gains in one year legitimately he comes out looking better than

captain america like like chris evans wishes he looked like this dude this dude is ripped uh like like super low fat content incredible definition and and his physique is just he's a bodybuilder and he looks like a good one at that like like he's not like just a real ripped guy he's like oh yeah that guy could probably win some sort of bodybuilding competition. Like, each muscle group is just perfect. His back looked freakish. He's too big, much bigger than I'd want to get. Bigger than I'd want to get to.

The aspect of steroids that scares me the most, there's two of them. One is the coming off of it, right? Like, your body starts producing its own T. And you, you know, like, all of of a sudden you're less than you were before. Like if it was do steroids and then phase off them and kind of try to keep where you were naturally, that'd be one thing. But no, you do steroids, you come off them and you turn into the prepubescent old version of you. I don't want that. That sounds terrible.

The other aspect. That's why you need a doctor there to be giving you drugs don't want that that sounds terrible the other aspect the doctor there to be to be giving you drugs to counteract that the other aspect of it is i worry that i'll have like mood swings or aggression like when i was um i was a college swimmer and um no i don't think anyone on the swim team did steroids but just hanging out in like the athlete circles the football players did do steroids and those guys would like lock in a room and void rage and it'd be all trash like a rock stars hotel room and shit afterwards they get into like fights with each other and it was a roid thing everyone knew it was a roid thing that guy does roids and he can't control his temper i don't want like i'm

a dad right you know like i don't want like a like if hope gets moody or something for me to respond inappropriately you know yeah I think the time is like the time has passed your steroid window has closed no this is when it opens man like this is this is when we hook you up with a stack you're gonna be you're gonna be ridiculous if I had. If I had a doctor say that it was okay and it was like a really low dose and it's like you just keep working out like normal and in like eight months you're going to be like 30 pounds better. And I can guarantee you won't have really bad, awful side effects. But other than that, like if there's even a risk at all, like, well, yeah,

maybe you could permanently make your hormones out of whack. You might have really high estrogen afterward and be weeping like a meatloaf and fucking fight club at the very end of this. So then if that's the case, just get some whey powder and creatine and go to the gym. Like it's not worth – the payoff is not worth the risk. So as an MMA fan, TRT, testosterone replacement therapy, was legal up until like, I want to say a year and a half, two years ago. So you were seeing all these fighters in their late 30s at like the top of their game. Career resurgence. Dan Henderson, Chael Sonnen, Vitor Belfort. These guys were the best in the world at like 35, 38. That you take all the experience and wisdom and expertise and like ring craft that someone gathers over a lifetime of fighting.

Added with the testosterone and athleticism of an 18 year old. And you have these like superhuman fighters and like you're like woody the steroid window's kind of closed on you no man this is when you want it like you know how old are you 24 ish you don't need steroids that's ridiculous the steroid window has not yet open for you to i have so testosterone levels generally peak during adolescence and early adulthood. As you get older, your testosterone levels gradually decline, typically about 1% a year after age 30 or 40. Woody could be down 10% right now. They'll hook you up, Woody.

Yeah, yeah. And sometimes I look at the changes in my body, right? Like now i'm headed in the right direction now naturally obviously but um like if i have a shirt that's too tight especially like a month and a half ago i'm like ah it's kind of a bitch tits thing going on there bitch tits is also a low t side effect and um you know like i like fuck maybe that you know maybe maybe get some high tea i don't know yeah we're gonna we're gonna talk to dr white about this get this all sorted out wait you haven't entered the what he says i'm too young for this i think you are too kyle you're

still in your 20s no i'm gonna go talk to this guy i'm gonna go see what i can do i i want to do it legally under the uh the trained eye of a physician but i think it like i think it's a good idea and i don't want to go like crazy with it but i think a little bit you know give me a little bit it'll motivate me to work out if nothing else and it seems like i mean that guy who was probably on a huge dose his gains in a year were like a lifetime's worth of working out. It was extraordinary. I would like to see what would it be like if you were on these steroids for six weeks or two months or something like that, working out five days a week. It seems like it would be a life-changing amount of mass and muscle you're throwing on.

Looks like a good idea to me. I'm going to see what the doctor says, though. If you come off it, you get that like weird like someone who lost a ton of weight look you know where like some of the muscle doesn't stick around it leaves and then you get like that like saggy arm flesh like that's a thing i i don't know about all that but um i'm gonna move forward with this yeah you definitely can't do it at the extreme levels and then like I don't know if you guys know who Don Frye is I wonder if yeah, Google. Yeah, I got a mustache right yeah I'm not gonna be the only one on the show who's not on roids

It's good this show's gonna get so much more contentious like no I wasn't done fucking talking buddy He's just crying. Like, uncontrollably. That's off my fear. Like, uncontrollably crying is not the direction I worry it'll go. Mine is, like, that I would be, like you guys say,

I am with waiters, but for real. Physical altercations and... Yeah, right. Choke a waiter out. I can't find... Ice in my lemonade. I wonder... Well, if you're going to get on steroids,

I'm not doing that shit. I remember we used to take this testosterone booster when we'd work out. It was like over-the-counter from GNC called T-Bomb 2. And I have no idea if that works or not. Maybe it's just like snake oil or whatever. But we always thought it did. And maybe it was a placebo effect. But I always felt like I was a little bit of a jerk when we were taking that stuff. I know it definitely made you sweat. Taking what it was a placebo effect, but I always felt like I was a little bit of a jerk when we were taking that stuff.

I know it definitely made you sweat. Taking what it was? It was a supplement. It was pills. It was supposed to be a testosterone booster. It was called T-Bomb 2. The letter T, the word bomb, and then the numeral 2.

It was like $80 a bottle, and I you know the numeral two um but but it was like 80 a bottle and uh i would double the dosage until i pissed green and yeah yeah i wanted to didn't take the bottles word for it you know no no i figured they're full of shit they were like three pills twice a day and i was like fuck that four pills three times a day like let's see i would literally take them until my piss turned green. That's how I knew I was getting all I could handle because it was just passing through

at that point, I figured. Kyle, the bathroom is starting to look like a shamrock shake in there. Are you feeling okay? Shut up! Shit. We were, I don't know. I went to GNC and bought a bunch of stuff. That was one of the things that we always felt bad.

And creatine and protein powder. I think those are the only supplements that I ever felt like I was getting any benefit from. And I bought a bunch of stuff. Yeah, creatine is definitely safe. You can run into dehydration issues when you've got team sports. And they're not letting the kids drink enough water. Because you've got to hydrate a lot more with creatine. But other than that, I don't think there's any drawback advice pka medical advice is not to be

followed unless you want to get huge and i feel like we're like mac from it's always sunny giving this advice i'm cultivating mass that's what you're gonna be eating four of those five guys meals a day they're like trying to cut me off i'm going to roid bridge these free peanuts aren't gonna fucking cut it so um i'm looking at this this is don fry after okay and this is don fry before i Don Fry before. His arms have shrunk. His body's gotten bigger. I don't know. It was actually not as extreme as it was in my

memory, but coming off the steroids, it changed him a lot. Look at his traps. That's the muscle up here. That's a telltale sign of it, I think. He's been retired for know for a while and oh dude the difference in these pictures is less than you might guess like oh really four years or something well that's shit that's that's actually plenty of time to lose i mean you gotta maintain muscle mass like that and it and in this first picture he's got some there's a lot of don fry to go around

such a there's that iconic fight where he's fighting that giant japanese blonde guy and they just say fuck it and they just start hitting each other in the face and it's like this it's like they're they're it's like a hockey fight you know when they grab the jersey? They do that in the ring. And they're just trading haymakers back and forth. And you see Don Fry's face just going, and he's just taking them. He doesn't care. And the Japanese guy's face just turned into mush.

It's like he's so swollen that he doesn't look like a human being anymore. He looks like some kind of a fucking alien. That was a great part. I know exactly the giant blonde Japanese guy you're talking about because every time I look up an MMA montage of like so-and-so highlights

or like ownage or whatever, it's always them getting in the ring with this big blonde haired Japanese guy who just relentlessly gets his ass rammed for like 10 minutes. It's just he is in every highlight reel like that Crow Cop highlight reel. There's like

four clips of him just getting kicked in the teeth. Poor guy. In seeing that gif I wasn't sure who won. Although afterwards the before and after is pretty dramatic. Don Fry wins. And even that exchange where they just punch until one guy doesn't.

Do you have that gif? Yeah, I've been showing it to everybody. I'll get you one. Yeah, well, I guess the Japanese guy was not on roids. It was pride. They were pretty much all on roids. Oh, great son of. That is like a hockey fight.

What is that Japanese guy's flabby belly? I don't know. He's not on roids. Could be just has a little too much sashimi. It was practically written into their contracts. Like the contracts had guarantees of no roid testing. Interesting. This just seems dangerous. Although if you notice, the Japanese guy,

I feel like about halfway through this, he's hitting him with the back of his hand. He's uncoordinatedly knocked out. He's still moving, but I don't feel like there's a lot of thought behind it. One of my favorite things in fighting is when one guy tries to alpha the other and the other doesn't allow it like it happened in

that robbie lawler fight remember like robbie lawler was uh it was i think it was between rounds three and four but it could have been four and five i think it was three four and um robbie lawler just sort of like stands there and he starts alpha and um i'm telling it back it was between rounds and they were both yeah they're both exhausted robbie lawler starts trying to alpha rory mcdonald just like he doesn't go to his corner and rory mcdonald was like what no you're not the alpha and they both start like staring down and pushing off like it was a weigh-in and uh um they i heard rory law or um mcdonald interviewed it afterwards and he's just like yeah

the guy tried to alpha me i can't have that you know no not allowed and it happens a lot like conor mcgregor tries to alpha people constantly and um sometimes he gets away with it and sometimes the other guy just doesn't you know it's like no no no i'm the alpha around here is he undefeated that irish guy uh in the ufc he is he had two losses coming into the ufc is he as good as people seem to think uh it's really sketchy early on people thought he was maybe mostly hype and uh then he just keeps winning and winning and winning i personally joined the conor mcgregor train when he beat Dustin Poirier, who was very much a legit guy, and he's tearing up the weight class above him now. And then he beat Chad Mendes.

So his big question was could he beat a wrestler? This might not be interesting for non-UFC guys. But Conor McGregor was a pro boxer before a UFC fighter. And when it comes to striking, he is as good as it gets. There is no question he may have the best striking in the UFC. He's in that list. He's in the conversation. Who is the best striker in all the UFC?

Conor McGregor is part of the conversation. But his ground game is shit. And he went up against a guy who was a takedown expert, Chad Mendes. And he did take him down a bunch. he went up against a guy who was a takedown expert, Chad Mendez. And, uh, he did take him down a bunch, but after he took him down, Connor just kept like elbowing him on the head,

on the top of the head. Like it didn't just look so painful for both legal, but barely legal. And, um, and Chad Mendez like didn't do what he wanted to do. Cause he kept getting hit in the head. Like you could tell like what he wanted to do was be in his garden,

like ground and pound and beat the hell out of him. But instead he's like, in the head. Like, you could tell, like, what he wanted to do was be in his guard and, like, ground and pound and beat the hell out of him. But instead, he's like, fuck, every time I do this, he's just, ow, ow, ow, ow, you know? He's taking his elbow and, like, with the hardest part, sharpest part of his elbow, like, the guy's head's right here and he's just, boom, boom, boom. And the guy's looking up at the ref like, these aren't legal, are they? They hurt so goddamn much. And the ref's like, I'll ref like, these aren't legal, are they? They hurt so goddamn much. And the ref's like, I'll bet.

I'll bet they do. Oh. And the ref said they were legal. They were legal. And, you know, Mendes was still doing better, I think, from the top. But it certainly wasn't the, like, you know, really dominant. So it's like Conor was crushing him on his feet and losing a bit on the bottom until connor eventually knocked him out and at this point is he as good as people say he is well shit what else does he have to do he beat probably the best

ground game in the in the game and he's got the best striking in the game yeah conor mcgregor is very very good i can't wait for his next fight. Yeah, I really enjoyed that fight. That's the only time I've seen him fight. But I like fighters who are entertainers as their first career and fighters as their second career. And he's definitely one of them. He came out there and put on a show. I found his silliness and antics in the ring were...

I like them more out of him than I do... What's that clown from Brazil that I hate so much? That goes in there and taunts? Yeah, that's always taunting them and dancing around. Yeah, he goes in there and he's silly. And as a result, the fight isn't as good as it should have been. But McGregor seemed like in my opinion for my dollar he increased the value of the fight

with his silliness and his dancing and all that stuff especially since I'm rooting for him I'm like oh be careful don't dance too much you'll lay you the fuck out over there like that's not a kid you're fighting like that's the guy they thought would be a good match against you

that dancing is interesting stuff so it's not i don't i suck at it but um they're counter punchers right anderson silva in particular is probably the greatest counter puncher the ufc's had so what he does is he stands just right outside of range and taunts you and what he wants you to do is overextend yourself and uh then he can you know really get you yeah if i tried if i try to throw a right cross from outside my range and start leaning over and all the stuff to try to make it hit, then you've got it easy. You've got a real easy dodge encounter going on there.

Anderson made a career out of it. And the cool thing about his dancing is that from a judging perspective, when he was being passive, he looked like he was clowning you. Whereas other counterpunchers that don't do that shit, they just look like they're dodging the fight. They're backwards the whole time, et cetera. He might be backwards. He might be out of range, but he's clowning you.

So he doesn't really look like the beta. Sometimes he'll just stand there with his left all the way out. And I feel like that's just him being like, well, I know how long my arm is and I know how long he is. Now I can be extra silly. I don't even really have to look at him. I just wait until he's near my arm and then I move back.

I feel like he's just being as silly as he can out there. Before I struck at all, I had no idea how difficult it was to know your range. If you've never struck, then you might not get it. But it's really hard to know like where the end of your arm is how when you can hit the guy that knowing your range that people will put their arm out as a measuring stick so they know where it is they use their feet as a measuring stick like that lead leg is how far you can punch that like i thought before having tried it like well i'm so successful at grabbing salt off the shelf that

i know how long my arms are but you know like i i you name it you can put salt a book anything i can get it off a shelf honey that's the salt i know how long my arm is and i cannot reach it i don't need to hand that here yeah but um if you start, then you'll find that, like, fuck, even a heavy bag. Like, it took me a while to sort of sort out. Like, yeah, just where is my range and where should it be? Yep. So, mid-roll? Yeah, let me pull that right up.

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you want to look at it, 100%. I like underwear it's very important to me when i'm picking out my outfit in the morning if i got a lot to do that day if i'm filming that day or if i'm you know going on a date or whatever my underwear selection is is very important to me i want my my best pair the best feeling pair and nowadays it's the me undies pair of underwear that i've got i got two pair. And if I've got one of those on, I feel like everything's going to be all right. Yeah, no joke. What are they made of that's softer from cotton?

I pronounced it. It's Modal. Modal? Modal, yeah. Yeah, it's so nice. I've never heard of that shit. So before we knew that that was a big part of the thing, everyone is like, it is so soft. It is so soft.

Mine was in the package for a while. And, you know, like Kyle was raving about it. And he's like, you got to check it out. So I opened the package. And it's like, holy shit, the hype is real. It is not your everyday underwear. It is, well, you can wear it every day. But, I mean, it's not the underwear you've seen before.

It's fucking... Does it give you that good underwear silhouette? Not like those baggy, shitty boxers that you wear too much where it kind of makes everything shapeless and baggy down there. It gives that sleek, aerodynamic look. If you're proud of what you're packing down there, you're going to be very proud of this underwear

because it really lifts you up and just shows you off to the world. got a nice package there it's clear what's what and that you're in charge it's it's i would show you but it literally is a bit pornographic you can really see what i got going on down here like i mean it's just clear which direction things are pointing and and where everything's at and me on these if you're watching this you should consider the male underwear equivalent of the Wonder Bra right just Give me a little lift a little lift package enhancement. Oh, I love some inserts Yeah, yeah, I want not my cock. I just want two enormous wings redemption style ball

Like I could just get two like little little silicone implants and maybe a little pouch to tuck them up into. You're gonna need that after the steroid. I was telling my girlfriend about this. I was like, we were talking about the side effects, and she's like, doesn't it make your dick shrink? And I was like, no, that's not true. It makes your ball shrink. Which wouldn't make your dick bigger by comparison.

That's what I said. I was like, and I don't, I'd be happy if my balls shrank. Like, what's, I'd be happy if I didn't have any. You know, if I still had the medical functionality of, you know, if they were internal. Like, I'd be fine with that. Like, I don't know what the big deal is about having the balls. I feel like aesthetically, they suck, right? I don't want to.

No, think of how weird it would look without them. Oh, I think it would look much better. And also, I feel like just get rid of the whole scrotum. It's just like your butthole and then like gooch and then like a cock. And that's it.

Double the taint area. You double the taint. You do double the taint. But I figure like maybe add a muscle group down there or something. Something to like work on and like pump up and show off. Maybe you got like two little biceps down there or something. Something to work on and pump up and show off. Maybe you've got two little biceps down there or something where your balls used to be. And use those to flex your cock or something. That's what I would add to human anatomy.

And they're a huge weakness anyway. What chick doesn't know to kick you right in the balls when you're trying to grab her in a dark alley or something? The worst. What have you. People are always kicking me in the balls. Always. I can't walk down the street. Even kids know that.

When's the last time you got hit in the balls? It's been happening too much. I have a puppy, Great Dane, that wags his tail furiously and he's just at the right height. I bet it happens twice a week. Huh. I used to play this game. I can.

I used to play this game. And we stole the game from some other friends. Of Kitty and mine. It's terrible grammar. But what these guys do. These brothers. The rule is this. You can hit the other guy in the dick

as long as it's recorded. Because at the end of all this, you make a montage of a year's worth of cock slaps. And so they would find interesting, creative ways to do it, of course, but it has to be recorded. So you've got to get a buddy to film it, a hidden camera, whatever. And that's the game. What a terrible, fearful life to lead.

It's these two brothers. They're grown-ass men with successful careers and pretty wealthy guys, but they still play this cock-slapping game to this day, and that's the rule. If it's recorded, you get to do it. So me and my friends took up that game for a short period of time at one point,

and god damn, like, you learn to just not enjoy that quickly. It doesn't take... The first time someone blindsides you by, like, hitting you in the dick with a broomstick, you're like, well, fuck this game. Yeah, who wins that game? Who wins? The viewers, I guess, of the montage,

because they show us the montage of them getting hit, like, literally 80 times in the dick over the course of a year. And it's real. It's not like a movie nut shot. It's like grown men falling in public places and lobbies and hotels and restaurants. They don't care where it is. So it was pretty hilarious.

That's so stupid. But yeah, that was the last time I got hit in the dick or in the balls like like really good like actually struck on purpose rather than i don't know dropping something on my lap like about about two years ago i guess oh that's the worst it is it's very upsetting have you ever been dude i i had a guy uh he didn't kick me in the balls he need me in the balls in eighth grade and i'm still mad at him about it like we were friends and um uh basically he came up to me he put his hands on both of my shoulders like on the top and was like hey woody and then he

kneed me in the balls how effectively and like i was just like i dropped on my knees it was awful it took a few minutes to recover like like you see in the ufc fights and um so you're in luck i have his facebook page right here we'll share that with everybody. Oh my god! What? Wait, did you just show this to everyone watching? Yes. This is Sean Bernardini from Ocean City High School.

This is what he looks like now. And fuck him. Oh my god. He's going to be so confused. This is what he looks like now. And fuck him. Oh, my God. So look at what a cocksucker this is. He's going to be so confused. That was like 30 years ago. Yeah.

I'm not completely over it, really. He did age pretty well, if I'm honest. He's the vice president of the Willis Group, an insurance broker. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Ah, fuck him. I probably still got more money than he does. Yeah, probably. He's flying a helicopter in this picture this picture maybe not I don't know

touching a rhinoceros what a cool let's let's hook up with this guy Taylor he seems fun at a distance as well. I think we can get that. Are you going to upgrade? Oh my god. This guy. I'm looking through his photos. He seems like he's got... I'm going to stop now. I don't know why we're tearing this guy apart.

Leave Woody in the grade. It looks like he's a... He's having a great time this guy so uh this one true woody who is this guy he's in a fighter plane like what the hell is that like the one i thought he was in a helicopter in a plane too oh the other one, he looks young in that shot. Oh, that's a plane. No, no, he's definitely a pilot.

He's in the pilot seat too. Yeah, but like he did sometime in the military or something. And he's a veteran? Why are you making us go at Scott? You should have done a little more research before this. Why don't you make fun of his chubby wife? He made me the balls for nothing. Why don't you make fun of his chubby wife while He made me the balls for nothing. Why don't you make fun of his chubby wife

while you're at it, you cruel son of a bitch? That was not me who said that. I'm not even looking at his page. I feel guilty transitively being a party to this. Yeah, he's got a chubby wife, but what of it? I bet he loves all of her. Is she bipolar and you can't bring it up but yeah that was Sean Bernardini and he need me in the nuts in seventh grade for

absolutely no reason whatsoever and the only reason he was able to pull it off like I was so defenseless is that I legitimately considered as friends I wonder if it ends right after that, or did you put together a long con that I guess came to fruition three decades later? It didn't end end. I remember I went snow skiing with him in high school, but I did never trust him again.

Never. Never forget. Never forgive. again never so uh never forget never forgive let's hope that i hope that no one tries to mete out any retribution upon this man anything like that all right oh new topic sure all right all right uh over 700 killed in crush of hajj pilgrims Saudi Arabia. I don't know exactly how to pronounce H-A-J-J. That works, I guess. That can't be right. Hajj?

Hajj. Seems close. Two giant waves of Muslim pilgrims collided at an intersection on Thursday near a holy site in Saudi Arabia. More than 700 people were crushed and trampled to death in the worst disaster at the Hajj in a quarter century. So I think this is like an annual thing.

It drew 2 million people from 180 countries this year. The huge logistical challenge from Saudi Arabia. I'll say 2 million people is a ton. Like, that is a lot. And, um, they go to these holy cities and like, there's some pictures here. I'll show you the link and then share it with the, uh, the people. But, um, if you look at this picture in particular, Oh, view gallery. Let's see what else they got. Oh oh god i didn't mean to see dead people on stretchers but um uh you can see in the first picture anyway this road that like goes as far as the eye can see

and turns left so you can see more and it's just filled shoulder to shoulder with people um millions of pilgrims i guess they call them checking out these holy cities. And two of these, like, they came together in an intersection, and 700 people died. Mm-hmm. Jesus. And they said this is the worst in 25 years. So 25 years ago, something worse than this happened? They need to make some new locations for this.

Because that's out of control. I don't think you could just sprout up new holy cities. But if you could, I bet there are a bunch of tourist destinations that would happily do that. I don't like crowds. Come to Mount Rushmore,

the new holy location for pilgrims. Well, not there. You would have a hard time getting me in a crowd of that many people to begin with. So that just seems

way... It doesn't seem like a good idea. I would not be there. So I'm having a hard time. I think we can solve this problem by designating more holy locations. Maybe that should be the PKA exercise. Can't they just Skype it in? You know, like God will understand.

Like if hundreds, almost thousands of people are dying every quarter century, that's unacceptable. Any other activity, they'd be like, oh, too dangerous. No, no, no, no, no, no. What a terrible way to die. Disney World should be a holy location, right? Because Disney World can handle a lot of population. If you drop 100,000 people.

Not 2 million. Not 2 million, of course. But we need to do a couple of these, right? We could say Disney World, Disneyland, Paris, right? Trump Tower. Trump Tower, maybe? Who knows? Just New York in general. I feel like if this was New York, we wouldn't have this same issue.

They'd be on taxis and Ubers and stuff like that. New York can handle 2 million. If two million people came to new york i'm not sure they'd notice the population change oh my god they would two like there's eight million people in that metro area right between seven and eight million or so if that grew by 20 percent over or i guess like almost 25% overnight. You're right. That would be a shit show. There's 8.4 million, so you're pretty much on target. And 2 million would be a huge addition.

Yeah. But I do feel like we could slip in like 500,000 and it would be crowded, but they'd be blessed. Have it in the middle of Wyoming and it wouldn't even make the news. Like they, it's just a huge crowd in the middle of wyoming and it wouldn't even make the news like they just a huge crowd in the middle wyoming nothing else there there's nothing less than a million people live in that whole state and it's gigantic like they could keep them there they could just live there be really close every year you know set up shop right next to the the new holy place but you know if it wasn't for internet access locations like that would be really appealing to me to live in like a big vast area like that like out in the frontier i don't know maybe i'd start missing stuff right like i ran to home depot

today if i lived in wyoming would that be 30 miles away because that's an issue that's hard for me to i'm just not that good at planning you know that'd be a that'd be a problem and being that far away from any like sports or things to go to that would really suck except for the movie theater I don't go to many public entertainment things like we used to do musicals a lot we kind of got away from that yeah you don't really go to sports games ever no not really I mean I used to go to hurricanes games but somehow I haven't gone for a couple years. What about the Panthers? Or where are they even based out of?

They're actually pretty far away in Charlotte. Oh. Yeah, so it's just the Hurricanes. But they're in Raleigh. I'm even closer to them now. So maybe I'll catch a game or two. But I do... Oh, so Google sent me this shirt.

It says, hashtag fiber is coming oh cool it's north carolina and that's where i live it's like the google colors and oh that's cool hashtag fiber is coming i had no idea what the hell was on your shirt this whole time just because we can only see half of it and it's a bunch of dots uh that's cool yeah so it i don't know when like i i think they literally don't have their first customer yet but um it's slow it's slower than you think like last year and last year's a while ago because it's late september now but last year you know they announced that they were going to raleigh and there's i think they said they finished planning

and now they're in construction they're like have you seen the trucks out there digging up and laying fiber no no not even one I have no idea like it it doesn't know I haven't seen that um but I guess they've started and it's happening but if Texas is any model like it it could be five years before i get it kansas city's got it like all over the place they have and they seem to be the exception i have no idea why kansas city's going comparatively so smoothly uh but um and maybe raleigh's going smoothly too i know that we the uh what was it was cool because google announced they were looking at Raleigh, and the citizens told the local politicians in no uncertain terms, like, you get your shit together. We want fiber here. It is tremendously important.

I mean, we're at Research Triangle Park. It's a population that cares about the internet. And the politicians felt a ton of heat. Neighboring cities that Google wasn't looking at started trying to get on Google's radar. Like, holy shit. You know, like, we really need to figure out how to get fiber here.

So, yeah. And they did it. I guess they accomplished it. I don't understand their selection process. Like, why start out in Kansas City? Why? I don't know about Kansas City in particular, but the selection process has a lot to do with governments that are willing to work with them.

They want access to right-of-ways. They want access to telephone poles. They're like, hey, we'll pay for it, but we want to hang wires on existing telephone poles without you giving us a lot of shit about it. If you want fiber fiber grease the slides with regards to how hard it is to dig up the ground hang wires on poles and etc yeah that's what's annoying though clearly missouri is willing to play ball why do those fucks over in kansas city get it not st louis it's not fair i want that

that fight i didn't understand that so st louis missouri doesn't have it but kansas city does because st louis missouri is like the bigger better part right uh so kansas city is the second biggest city in the state st louis is the biggest as far as like crime and shit goes st louis is much more dangerous but that's like the actual downtown area i might be mixing up St. Louis with Kansas City. Kansas City, Missouri is the bigger part, right? Kansas City, Missouri is the bigger part. Yeah.

Then Kansas City, Kansas. Yeah. St. Louis, Missouri is the bigger part. Kansas City is really in Missouri. Yeah. There's a little bit of Kansas City in Kansas and there's a little bit of St. Louis in Illinois, but that's like the East St. Louis.

So I mix them up. But yeah, I don't know. in Kansas and there's a little bit of St. Louis in Illinois but that's like the East St. Louis kind of shit. But yeah, I don't know. I think everyone in every area is like Google, come to me! But we'll see how hard it is when Google gets to my house but I feel a little

fortunate anyway in that they're just on their way. You'd think Atlanta too. That'd be nice. Did you see that diana rigg the lady who plays lady olena uh on game of thrones died oh really yeah that sucks i like her she was really good at that too yep they finished filming right so we get another season uh that i don't know i feel like they've probably done by now yeah oh i'm sure they're done by now but yeah that sucks she was like one of my favorite newly introduced characters queen of thorns oh yeah that's definitely what i was talking about yeah yeah i really enjoyed her work she and tyrian had really good banter i liked i thought so too and um uh who's the the eunuch i

feel like she had a couple scenes with him yeah Varys I like the clever ones in Game of Thrones like Tyrion etc I'm trying to think who's the guy that probably died at the end of the last episode

he's oh Jon Snow no the other brother Stannis stannis yeah stannis baratheon he seems to be like more of a brawn guy right like you don't see him doing clever banter and figuring out his next move as a chess master in the same way that you get from tyrian or what was her name the queen of th Thorns? Lady something? Lady Elena. I like the clever ones, I think, more than the strong ones.

But there's a place for everyone in that universe. Yeah, well, that sucks. I'm surprised you like Olenna. She's clearly Irish, Kyle. That's a shame. I wonder who they'll... Like Woody said, I wonder if she's already filmed for like this upcoming season and uh if she's done with done with the show it seems kind of awful to say but like i want to know if the show is going to be ruined or not

i imagine she's not done their character's not finished and they'll need a replacement. Speaking of replacements, Daenerys. Did we talk about this in public yet? I don't know. We talked about it. Yeah, we definitely talked about it. I don't know if we talked about it on the show or not. But basically what we're saying is we don't like the fact that she's not comfortable showing her tits anymore

or getting naked at all. Yeah, no more nudity as far as she's concerned. It's in her contract now. Yeah, and I heard Stern talking about this, and he was basically saying that he thought they should just replace her. Like, they should just kill her or replace her or whatever it takes. Because the whole thing was, the whole reason that she got the role was because she's going to be naked. They didn't hire this chick because she's a great actress.

And if you watch the new Terminator movie, she was the weakest part of it. She's not a good actress. Her acting ability is not what brings you there. It's her looks. She looks a lot like the character. She's beautiful and she was getting naked. And now that she's not, I would totally vote for getting rid of that actress and replacing her with her stunt double, body double, whatever she's called.

Because that chick, that chick is so much hotter than Emily Clark or Amelia Clark, whatever her name is. Amelia Clark is hot. I like the expressive eyebrow thing, and I think she's got an amazing body. She's beautiful. That's why I think she should be naked more. She's pretty, but she's not Hollywood exceptional to me. Not Hollywood exceptional. They're just going to do a body double thing, so it doesn't matter anyway. No, they're not. No nudity even from some sort of digital effect.

And I didn't like that Lena Headey wasn't naked, but then I heard that she was pregnant or something. There was some complication there. I don't know. I hate this fake nudity. And then I started researching. It turned out that a lot of the nudity on Game of Thrones in the past has been body doubles or CGI.

CGI? Bullshit. I want real titties. How much does that fucking cost? You're telling me it's cheaper to CGI a titty in than to get some real titties up in there i know a place that for fucking 15 dollars cover charge it's titties all night and but they can't get some titties on hbo and i'm not happy with it i've got an idea so get rid of amelia clark get sasha gray in a blonde wig and you're golden that's just let's just make a whole new show that's just an actress sasha gray is a legit

actress now i've seen some of her i've seen bits of her role like trailers and stuff like that she can act and it's weird because yet if you've ever seen a non-actor i'm sure everybody has but like if you see um rampage jackson in the a-team Randy Couture in his Expendables roles, you realize every line they deliver has a certain undertone of insecurity that real actors don't have. He's wondering if he's doing a good job while he's doing the job, and it shows if you look for it. And Sasha Gray didn't have that like she seemed like like

she's taking some acting lessons and she's trying to become a real actress and and she is now is she going to like you know win an oscar so hot i don't think so but um i don't think she's her ass but yeah but um but she is a genuine actress and that am Emilia Clarke chick, or Emily Clarke, whatever her name is, I'm not seeing anything great out of her. Replace her! She just freaking looks vulnerable and confused. Do you really care that much, though? I don't care if there's no more nudity in that show the whole rest of the time.

Just put more TKA material. The nudity is a big part of it for me. I'll give you a perfect perfect example of why I watch these shows and why I like HBO so much we were watching Boardwalk Empire last night and it was we may have maybe we watched two or three episodes but encompassed in those episodes one man got his face beat in with a wrench just beat caved in they show it happen um couple of throat cuttings another man gets scalped peeling the flesh back off his head and when there's nudity it's it's full-on nudity you see you see you see pussy you see ass you see like the crack at the

bottom of the ass so you can see like her pussy from behind rear pussy uh there's there's there it's legit nudity on boardwalk empire they don't there i don't see a lot of merkins uh in the group game of thrones is even more turned tuned down from that like there's everybody there's a bunch of like floppy soft dicks and like like you see plenty of tits but they're always kind of showing vagina in the right light so you never see any like uh like like you don't see vulva you don't see pussy lips and I don't like that I want as much nudity and violence as you can

cram into these shows and if all of a sudden like this actress is getting too big for her britches and saying that like no I don't I want to be considered a good actress it's not about you know the nudity and it's like well no we hired you for the

nudity your character is constantly naked like we didn't make you have sex with that underage slave girl in season one so let's just have some titties okay like that's how i see it that that character is supposed to be naked all the fucking time i want titties everywhere yeah and and that's a weird time for transition anyway like why why now like now that she's finally getting it's not just now it was it was last year too like she hasn't been naked since she got out of it as far as i know she hasn't been naked since she got out of that bathtub and like made dario naharis uh like swear his allegiance to her you know she got up she got out and she you had you had breasts and you had full back nudity, but no vag, I don't think.

And I think that's the last time she's got naked. Now you watch it and they're trying to be so strategic about placing her elbow or moving the camera up in a way or pulling the blanket up to her neck. It's just lame. It's just lame. It's just lame. I don't like it. I want the nudity there. And if she's not willing to do it, I want an actress who is, because she's

not a big part of the show to me. It's not her acting. It's never been her acting. It's never been anything about her other than her body. Tyrion is the fucking actor. Tyrion brings something to the role that you can't replace. First of all, he's a little guy. I only know of one more talented little person actor,

and it's that British guy that works with Ricky Gervais and they probably bring him in in a pinch. But other than that, where are you going to go? And I'm not just saying that because he's a little person. There's plenty of actors on there. You cannot replace Jamie Lannister. And I like Tyrion more than the other guy too.

Yeah, I love Tyrion. He's my favorite character. Yeah. Oh yeah, definitely so. He's everybody's favorite character. Who did you just say? Jamie Lannister. I think he's everybody's favorite character. He's Minaria. Who did you just say that the good-looking... Jaime Lannister. You can't replace Jaime Lannister. It's hard to replace Jaime Lannister, and Jaime Lannister's acting is good to me.

Tyrion, I think, is a great actor. Varys. I'm not sure how you pronounce his name. Varys is a very good actor. I wouldn't want to see him... Varys is on that show because of his acting. The Queen of Thorns can act, and I think she does a lot of great stuff in acting.

Daenerys just has that same freaking, like, she goes from stern to vulnerable back and forth. She has two emotions in five years, and it's shit. The character's great, but the actress isn't doing anything special that's that's that's all there is to it for sure and maybe maybe a better actress would have brought something special to that role maybe we're saying that her that the role of daenerys is a weak role and a replaceable role not because it's poorly written because i don't think that's the case i think it's a well-written well-rounded role she's just not filling the shoes and now she's not even filling the whatever they put

their tits in back then oh for two she's the guy that played um he got killed by the mountain i'm so bad with all these names which one you know cobra guy he was like a van ah obran right obran went in there had a i don't want to say a minor role, but he was less in the book. One season character. He crushed it in the TV show so much. It shows you what an actor can do. Daenerys, on the other hand, we're all campaigning for her to get swapped out.

Yeah. It'd be weird if she got swapped out now. You got to look at the body swapped out. Yeah. It'd be weird if she got swapped out now. You gotta look at the body double first. Yeah. You gotta look at who we're replacing her with. Hang on, let me find this. No, I've seen her before. Really?

Well, I mean, they look very similar, except the other one's hotter. We've never actually seen her act, so what if she's even worse? She's probably an actress. She can hang. There, I sent you a link. I don't know.

The only reason I'm even interested in Daenerys' storyline at this point is because Tyrion is now in it. For the longest time, every time her little plot came up, it was like, oh my God, what's she going to do now? Complain about her dragons leaving her because she's a child and not capable? Or is she going to ask about ships? Or is she going to make some half-ass plan to release slaves in an area that it's really not gonna end up working out like then you leave and

all the slaves get punished like oh it's just a shit show she's like the trump over there like i'm i deserve all this so wait are you anti-trump uh i'm anti-trump like for real like if i'm being real like yeah i don't want him as the president that's kind of like making a mockery of it but as far as the funny the comedic value of it it would be really funny and he only looks appeasing

or appealing rather compared to the huge collection of idiots that he's standing around like he just is more charismatic I I'm really curious about your thoughts on the... So, you, to me, have identified as Republican lately, right? I could be wrong, but that's how it's come across to me.

And, you know, there was sort of a, like, I was liberal when I was younger, but I'm conservative now. But to me, like, it's not that I republicans or i'm anti-republican it's just that it's been a long time since they were a good party right they're a bunch of kooks and wackos and they go so far to the right and they they pander to um crazy religious people and uh like they love their war right they're huge they always want to mix it up and they feel like taking the country to war is like a really cool and manly thing to do and um like until they aren't that party that's the party they are yeah but i'm

i just can't find myself liking any of the Democrats. And I've always been socially liberal, like Kyle and I have talked about here a dozen times. Like, I don't give a shit if you want to marry your toaster. Like, do whatever you want socially. As long as you're not infringing on my right to do what I want to do, then go nuts. As long as it's not my toaster, because I use that all the time. Yeah, as long as it's not my microwave or my...

You can go to Home Depot and get your own shit to marry. Don't come to my house and demand it. But financially, fiscally, I am pretty conservative. But it's just difficult because anytime you look at the Republican candidates, they'll say something financially where it's like, okay,

I can get behind that a little bit. But then there's just a quagmire of nonsense. Also, these Mexicans! It's like, god no it'll be like they'll lay out their this financial plan and they'll talk about um you know you know cutting fat or they'll talk about um getting rid of um um um entitlements or whatever various entitlements and then and you'll be like yeah yeah okay okay and then they'll be like because and that's how god would have wanted it. Genesis 25.

And you're like, what the fuck? What? I thought you were an economics guy. What? Genesis? Wait, no. No. And then you're just like, you get pulled right back out of it. They mix their good ideas with their crazy ideas.

They mix them all together, and they make it difficult to. There's a litmus test over on the Republican side that you have to be a little crazy, you know? So they'll say something that makes sense, but then they have to say a lot of shit that doesn't or their base will leave them. Well, how is that different from Democrats? I feel like the Democrats say less crazy stuff.

Yeah, I don't know what... Like, the craziness that comes from Democrats, certainly Sanders with the 95% tax rate is crazy in my mind. What else do the Democrats say? Climate-denying stuff is just... It bothers me. That is stupid.

But I've got a crazy Democrat thing. The way that they hate GMOs. So GMO, genetically modified organisms. These are crops and such that yield better and they're resistant to certain pesticides. The science on that is similar to climate change in that like, look, these things are healthy for you. Like that's it. It's okay. It's good food. You're cool to eat it. And kind of like climate change you can find that three percent of scientists who say i don't know about this stuff but that to me is the democrat science denial right and i think in

general people think of republicans as the ones that ignore science you know like oh yeah climate change who knows if that's happening or not no it's measurable and it is. It's caused by humans. The score is posted. The Democrats do the same thing on GMOs. Especially in Europe. Remember I called out Carly Fiorina for that whole Planned Parenthood

thing she went on. I was shocked that no one called her out on it. This past week it seemed like everybody called her out on it. Dan Rather called her on her bullshit. I was glad to see that, because what she said was a lie. She just lied. I really wish they would start calling these politicians liars to their face. It doesn't have to be something nasty. You can just do it like this.

Here's what a liar is read the fucking definition here's what you said here's the proof that what you said was a lie his proof that you knew that it was a lot mister trump you're a liar how can the trip american people trust someone who is by definition a liar there was nobody left on any stage think also a liar. There would be nobody left on any stage. Also,

you're all liars, actually. Let's just go down the line. But no, but in this case, it was like she had her minute or 60 or 90 seconds or whatever it was on the national stage. 23 million people watching and she just started spouting lies.

She might as well have then and the worst part is they were kind of based on something that was real she just went on a a tear they're making shit up that wasn't true claiming she had seen things that she could not have seen because they don't exist and then like adding things together and she lied she she misled people and she did it on purpose and she's i don't like that i don't i don't know how, and she did it on purpose. I don't like that. I don't know how she makes it to the next debate after telling a lie like that. I don't know how anybody can be like that. It's about how many people they get to like them.

It's politics. That made me dislike her enormously. Apparently a lot of people didn't. It made me dislike her. Carly is now the only person I dislike more. It made me dislike her just because... God, I've seen things come out of that like in many... Carly is now... The only person I dislike more than Carly is... Huckabee.

Huckabee. If I'm going down the line of like, you know, I got to vote for one of the, whatever, 15 people that it's possible. 20, 30. I'm including Democratic, hopeful stuff. You know, if I'm going down the line, this, then that, and this, then that,

Huckabee's right at the fucking bottom, I think. And then right above him is Carly Fiorino. The more I read, the more it seems like she really did do a terrible job when she was a CEO. It seemed like, I read a thing today about her taking a lot of government money and just wasting it.

And she made $100 million herself by running that company into the ground the way she did. And then she just told that lie, that lie that was just ridiculous. And then whenever she would start spouting her thoughts for the future U.S. military, it's like, does she think that we're going to have to fight space aliens? Because otherwise, this is a little insane right now, when she's talking about these hundreds of naval vessels we need and these dozens of new battalions of Marines. Marines are like the first shock troops.

They're the ones you send overseas to invade a people first. She feels like we need more, many more. Dozens of divisions. And she just kept on with these numbers and the same breath talking about cutting the national debt. And it's like, we owe 19 trillion and you're wanting to

add on the equivalent of Great Britain's military to our already inflated military. You feel like we need to be able to take on every country in the world simultaneously for some reason. Maybe if you weren't such a cunt, that wouldn't be the truth. Maybe a little diplomacy would outweigh the need for another hundred naval vessels.

Maybe we don't need 200 more ICBMs. We could just not be assholes. And I just did not like her. She really turned me off with everything she said, and not to mention that lie that she just got caught in. And I knew it was a lie then, and I was shocked that the people on stage didn't know it was a lie. And I doubt it.

It made me doubt myself and my own information, my own sources. I was like, could I have been wrong? Could that Planned Parenthood thing be real? Are they really standing there with a live kicking fetus, presumably they could be incubated and live, and they're talking about killing it in a way that will preserve the brain to settle it on the open market? No! No, they're not!

She's lying to you! Don't believe that shit. Who would you vote for as of right now? Because I can't imagine myself voting for anyone on the left right now. Hillary Clinton is just as much of a liar with all of her email horse shit. Literally, she'd be in jail if she wasn't a Clinton. Bernie Sanders so far left. She's actually been found to be okay with the email horse shit.

They're still investigating. They are, but she deleted some of her private mails and they came out and said, yeah, we've looked into this and she's completely in her rights to do that. Not on a private mail server and it's okay to delete your private mail. No, it's that she was sending government information

over her email server. She did mix them up a bit. That's a big deal. Like jail for no more than three years i think i read she was doing a purpose maybe no i feel like there's been a lot of hillary witch hunts and look i don't like hillary i really don't i it's one of those situations where it's like dude if half of what they say is true i think half of it is then it's completely unacceptable you know i keep bringing up the cattle thing.

She turned $1,000 into $100,000, you know, in like three months. And you know how you see the stock charts, they go up and down. She like called every peak and valley all along the way. And meanwhile, she knows nothing about cattle futures. But yeah, so there's clearly something nefarious going on. Yes. There's been a bunch of real estate transactions that they thought to be kind of shady that she's been involved in that's what the

the monica lewinsky thing started as a real estate transaction witch hunt and um i don't know who i'd vote for right now if i i don't like the my but i want to finish my thought okay there there's but then there's other stuff like benghazi where she really didn't fuck up or do anything wrong. Like that thing's been put to bed and there was nothing on her. A bad thing happened in Benghazi. And, you know, a couple people died. Four, I think, in total. Four people died.

a couple people died four i think in total four people died but they made it seem like hillary killed him or that hillary was involved or behind it or or you know it was enacted in an incompetent way and that wasn't the case and this email thing like nothing's sticking i feel like they they're not done there's still an fbi investigation going on here they just slander the fuck out of her and then when it's over, it's like, yeah, I don't really know what happened in that Benghazi thing, but I know she's bad. That's my only takeaway. But she's being investigated by a Democratic

president. Under a Democratic president. This isn't a witch hunt. The FBI is going through stuff. When they questioned her about deleting these emails, asking her about wiping the server, she's like, what, with a cloth? You mean like dusting it? That was a horrible thing to say. Yeah, clearly being a face to face.

Either she's really stupid or playing stupid. And neither of them's. Being stupid and playing stupid, I don't like either of them for my president. She was running above top secret government emails through her private server in her house. And the tagline the Republicans were running with was that it was unsecure, it could have been hacked into by the Chinese, the Iranians, or just some 18-year-old hackers who wanted to have some fun. Any of those things could have happened. And she deleted a lot of stuff before she turned any of it over, and there's still... We'll see where it goes.

They're reconstructing the deleted emails now to see what she was deleting. Regardless, enough if, just like what you said, if 40% of it is true, it's still beyond the pale. Like, you don't want that person as a precedent. Which is what my point was. Taylor was like, everyone up there will be uh if we get the liars off there i'm not sure that's true like obama for all his faults i don't think he lies to people and when he does state of the unions and stuff like that like it

all turns out to be 100 true after the fact checkers look bernie sanders um you know like i don't agree with all of his policies but i don't think the man's lying at all. You know, Trump lies knowingly and, you know, Carly Farina lies. And a lot of them will just flat out tell lies because they think it'll help them. But there are a couple of them. Well, it doesn't have to be a stone cold lie of like, I was here on June 5th. Oh, no, you were there on June 5th. Like, it could just be like a flagrant misrepresentation

of what they'll be able to achieve in office. Does anybody really think that Bernie Sanders is going to be able to make, you know, free shit for everyone? Oh, no, we're having free healthcare. Free, throw that word around. Oh, college education, going to be free under me. Fuck the fact that I've only had three sponsored bills in the last 20-plus years.

I'm about to change everything. Nobody's stopping me. He knows that that can't happen. All these politicians know that their promises are horseshit, and if they said anything less than those ridiculous promises, everyone would be like, oh, well, that's not remarkable. Of course, anyone could do that. Can you imagine if they went up there and they had realistic aspirations?

Like, you put me in president, I'm going to tell you what. I'm going to slow that debt down. It's not going to go down, but we're on course to hit $24 trillion. I'll only hit $23. In reality, that's probably like a best-case scenario for us right now. We should be like, yeah, man, if you you can keep it under 24 like we'd like you we we need a professional like you keeping our debt under 24 trillion in the next four years that'd be great but instead they've you got somebody like bernie promising the the moon and the stars it's just really anything and everything

when you include unachievable campaign promises then then Bernie probably gets lumped in with the rest. But I don't know who I'd pick. I used to do this thing where, for some reason, I felt compelled to figure out who my best candidate is as if in some wacky way, me just thinking it would make it happen. Or I felt like, well, I need to settle on one before it's time so I know if I've won or lost, but I feel like I'm going to lose no matter what this time around. I really don't like any of

these guys. Biden is looking like one of the top choices, even though I hated that guy just four years ago when he was in those debates. I despised that guy. I thought he was such a dumbass, and he was always saying these, almost as bad as Bush with public speaking, just really a klutz, but he's looking like the lesser of the evils right now. I don't want Hillary. As far as everyone or just of the Dems? As far as everyone. I feel like Hillary is awful.

You want another Obama, effectively? Yeah. You could do a lot worse. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. I think I could do a lot worse. I feel like I don't want Hillary. I definitely don't want that. I don't want Bernie because I don't know what kind of shit he might step in

given what he inherited obama's crushed it on foreign policy in my opinion some guys will disagree with that but you know pulling out of iraq uh you know dealing with isis in a measured way uh working our way out of afghanistan um you know every time someone mouths off he sends some drones over there and gets some kills like i don't know't know what you want. You want a full fledged war all the time for everything. You know, he's no sissy on foreign policy yet. He hasn't launched any full scale invasions, which for America is pretty measured. And I like that at home, like Obamacare, in my opinion, is actually a really good thing. And God, 20 seconds.

The core of Obamacare is this. Everyone has to have insurance. Therefore, everyone gets the benefits of insurance. It used to be like this pre-existing condition shit would ruin people. You know, like, oh, but you had BACNE and didn't tell us. And that's a cancer indicator. And insurance companies would fuck you over. Now, like, oh, but you had BACNI and didn't tell us, and that's a cancer indicator, and insurance companies would fuck you over. Now that can't be the thing.

That's not a cancer indicator, is it? They just raise premiums forever. The premiums, the rise in premiums has slowed down compared to pre-Obamacare. It's still above inflation, but looking at the rate it was at before, no, it's just going up, but not like it was prior to Obamacare.

But the big thing is everyone is covered and everyone gets treated. And there's no dodging there. Before, there was a pre-existing condition problem because obviously the thing you want to do as a consumer is not buy insurance until you get sick and then you pick it up and everyone else has to pay for you you know the way that insurance work is you have to carry it the whole time and now all of America's buying insurance and now all of America doesn't get

fucked over when they're sick and it's a huge improvement over the previous system. And premiums have gone down. I still haven't picked my politician. Yeah, God. It's real hard. So it's easier to clip the ones I don't want than it is to pick one. So I'm just going to continue a little bit. So Huckabee is just an absolute no.

He's way, way too religious. Rand Paul is pretty high up there on guys that i like um because he doesn't want to go to war because he doesn't want to go to war and i feel like that'll save enough money that his other craziness can't be that bad um i feel like like if there's anyone who who like i think that their sort of personality or the way they do things will make a big effect on our future it's ran Paul. He's up there because he won't go to war. He'll shoot at some people, but he won't

invade. If he has to. He's not eliminated. Bush has got to be eliminated. Just on principle, I won't stand for a Clinton or a Bush. Trump is just a loony tune. Anyone who's seen this week's episode of south part that was fucking hilarious that's one of their best episodes ever um so no trump

of course that carly furina chick is just it's just a disaster waiting to happen i hope she falls behind in the polls that doctor surgeon ben carson he clearly doesn't even know enough about the constitution to know who is is and isn't clearly doesn't even know enough about the constitution to know who is is and isn't he doesn't even know the eligibility requirements for the job he's running for right now so let's just mark him out right now he said that like a muslim can't be president like this should be a religious litmus test i can't quote him but but something like that yeah yeah just what about uh chris christie i don't like that bridge gate, yeah. What about Chris Christie? I don't like that Bridgegate thing because I feel like that shows that he's kind of a dirty guy behind the scenes.

But aren't they all? I feel like... His expense account, too? Like, he's been charging hundreds of thousands of dollars. Well, we can afford it. Far more than his previous people. What he's been doing with his expense account is kind of having a money-no-logic petty cash that the other governors didn't have before him. As long as he doesn't do what Bush did

and run up his own personal $1 trillion tab, then I'll be okay with it. How much lobster can that fat fuck eat? I mean, let's get real. He's feeding everyone he knows and buying shit that's not just food. Add $50 million to the cost of having Chris Christie as your president. You'll never even feel it. Well, it's a little royalty dirty to me.

Like, oh, yeah, my whole family wants watches. Yeah, every politician does that, though. Yeah, I just don't. Okay, the Bridgegate is a bigger thing than me. I didn't like the way. So basically, if you don't know Bridgegate, a mayor, for American politics, the governor is the whole state. The mayor is just a city or a town. A mayor didn't support him in his reelection.

So what he did is he shut down the lanes from that town or reduced them from like whatever, five to two, so that the people in that town had awful traffic jams as a way to punish them for not being republicans and you know that kind of shit like you think about it on a political like on a statewide level like or a national level if suddenly like i don't know he picks a blue state like massachusetts and says you don't get any highway money because you didn't vote for me last time. We can't have that in a president. It's dirty on a level that I'm not used to. What about that other guy, Kasich? That was the guy that you liked quite a bit. Well, he's got no support behind him.

He'll be out of the race soon enough. I thought Kasich did really well in the debates. And then once the score was posted, nobody was talking about him. Yeah, you saw, what's his name? Scott Walker. Scott Walker, like a year ago, was leading in the polls.

Now he was polling at 0% or something when he finally pulled out after this last debate appearance, so he's a non-issue. I don't know, man. Who's left? Cruz just doesn't appeal to me. I don't know, man. Who's left? Like, Cruz and... Cruz just doesn't appeal to me.

I don't like him. Rubio? No, him either. I don't trust either of those guys. They seem kind of greasy and not in an ethnic way like Chiz. I just don't know about those two. And they're both religious guys

who use that to guide them, it seems, a lot. And they got that whole fake family bullshit that just feels fake coming out of them. Like, you're a goddamn politician. I don't care about your shit. I don't know. I just don't trust any of those guys. I don't know who it would go to. Like, there's a reason that Trump's doing so well.

It's because everybody sucks so bad. Related topic? And the there's a reason that Trump's doing so well. It's because everybody sucks so bad. Related topic? And the honesty's a little refreshing. Honesty, I don't think, is the word I'm searching for. Being unabashed in his approach to responding to things. Like, he's not being honest with all of his answers, but, like, the not waddling around the issue and actually just saying, like,

I'm not apologizing, I'm not apologizing. I'm not doing that. Like, that's novel to people. He's dishonest as hell, but he is somehow refreshingly less calculated. If you watch this video, it's only 12 seconds.

Ready, set, play. We want the pay! We want the pay! We want the pay! We want the pay! We want the base! We want the base! December! We want the base! We want the base! We want the base! We want the base! So what that is, is the Democratic National Committee chairman, right? She decides sort of how the party runs the party, not the country, but how the party is going to strategize and win elections.

And one of the things she does is she decides when the Democratic debates will happen. And how many there are. And how many there are. And they're scheduled. There's only two prior to the first primary, and there's only six total. And by comparison to the Republicans, that's not much. And also it's very late. Like theans have already had two debates and the democrats are at zero and it appears that it's calculated so that hillary doesn't face a challenger you know once you put them all on stage together the fact that one guy is polling high to higher than another kind of disappears you know like the media treats one guy is up here trying to be on camera and another guy is down here and it's a big difference but

when they're on the debate stage they're all kind of equals or at least more equal and it appears that they're denying Bernie Sanders a chance to talk to Hillary. Hillary's at whatever, 40%, and Bernie's at like 25% roughly nationwide. And they're just like not allowing him to close that gap. Carly went from worst to second because of her debate performance. If Bernie went up against Hillary, a similar thing could happen. He could go from second to first. Everyone could be like, you know what, fuck Hillary. I definitely like this Bernie guy more.

So that lady who's making this decision for the Democratic, the DNC, she doesn't happen to have any former connection with Hillary Clinton now, does she? Funny you say that. She does have a connection with Hillary. Well it couldn't be that close. Probably just a passing connection because they're both in the same party, right? What is the connection specifically? She ran her fucking campaign!

Did she? Yeah! She still is. She used to. She ran her campaign in the past. I'm saying she still is. Oh, I got you. So it really appears to me there's a dirty thing happening on the democrats and their best

candidate is not going to win her name's not like debbie wasserman schultz or something like that is it you're really testing me kyle is it sounds right is that her name um i'm just guessing from memory like i thought you had an article uh i didn of your face showing your webpages coming up. Clearly it's memories. Oh, no. I'm actually looking. It is Debbie Wasserman Schultz. Thank you. I was looking at this thing about Carly Fiorino. Apparently she scammed

the U.S. government of $4 billion according to this report. She sold stuff to Iran when they were under sanctions. She did that because it's funny. It was one, she did that because, um, it's funny. So it was one of the companies that she owned or something that was doing it,

and they did it in a way that was technically legal, I think. But in the same, but it, they would defend that by saying, well, it was a subsidiary, we're not directly in control of that company, and it's overseas, blah, blah, blah. But at the same time, they're more than ready to tout that she's worked in 180 markets. That's her campaign manager was on uh i was on um talk radio the other day

she's been in 180 different countries and they're and they're like personally they're like well no her company sells products in 180 and it's just like are you telling me that hp sells computers in 180 countries is that what you really mean to say motherfucker yeah because i believe woody craft compares favorably with that oh i guess oh you should that's all yeah dude we've got a bunch of people in the middle east we've got tons of australians all throughout europe i probably had sales in almost every country in the world at this point and you know like that doesn't make me ready to be president. Well, we should probably hop off American politics.

I don't know how the rest of our multinational audience is about that. But just so you guys know, we don't know who the fuck's going to be running a country that controls hundreds of nuclear warheads this time next year. But it could be a loony. It could be a guy named

Donald Trump who, according to NBC, isn't even qualified to run a reality show. We'll see how this goes. I have a whole other... Am I...

Okay. I was at Home Depot today. Did you kill a migrant? What's this Depot today. Oh, is this you personally? Did you kill a migrant? Like, what's this wind up here? What'd you do? And so I needed to buy a nail gun. I thought I was going to be nailing down felt paper.

It goes like on top of sheathing. So if you don't know, you have a roof, right? You've probably all seen roof. The things that go across and like are rafters. And then there's plywood that goes on top of those rafters and they're nailed in. That's called sheathing. And then goes tar paper and then goes shingles. Well, that tar paper is held in place. And one of the things that people use to hold it in place is a roofing nail gun. And they're just just like regular nails except the head on it is big round and fat and and that's so that it doesn't like go too deep or break it or like you don't

over puncture with a roofing nail gun really it kind of lays and holds it and you can use it to hold tar paper anyway i need to buy one i don't have one now i've never installed the roof before uh did you get gay? No. I'm wondering why you don't get a fucking hammer. I have a hammer. But the thing is, we're doing about 3,000 square feet of roof now and about 2,500 square feet of roof on the next shop. And the thing's like 200 bucks.

Now, having used the framing thing, like I probably drove 700 nails today. Like we're busy. you know and it's like you know I'll get in a spot and I drive 70 nails like in a little session like I'll measure it out and drive 70 nails um it's it's a big job and we don't have like Habitat for Humanity like hordes of people all doing it together it it's it's mostly me she doesn't like to be on the roof so i do it and uh it helps to have automated tools so anyway i was gonna buy it i go up to a guy at home depot and i'm like i need to you know buy this thing we're gonna nail and felt paper

then after that shingles and i need a guy who's an expert and And he's like, oh, you want Matthews. So, okay. We go by. We find him. And I'm like, Matthews, I'm going to pick out a nail gun. And I need nails. I need an expert to help guide me through this. Are you that guy? And he's like, yeah, sure. And, oh, my God, he was not that guy. He was not an expert at all.

You know? So, the sheathing is half an inch thick, and I'm going to nail paper into it essentially. So I don't want like two-inch long nails to nail paper into a half-inch thing. You're just going to have a ton of nails sticking out the bottom, and they're going to hurt someone sometime. Not that you spend a lot of time touching a roof, but I don't like tons of nails sticking out. It looks shitty. So I'm like, can we get a half inch nail just to hold the tar paper and maybe something longer for the shingles, et cetera. And he's looking around. He doesn't know

what he sells. He doesn't know how long the nails are or what length nails people customarily use. And I'm asking him like, which nailer I should use, you know know as one more hobbyist and one more pro like they were all within like thirty dollars so I just get the better one you know when the prices are that close and uh he's like well this one here is uh porter cable and this one's dewall and he starts like reading the labels to me and and it's clear to me that he doesn't know what these are used for or anything. And he starts stumbling on his own words. And I got a little... I'm like, are you trying to say something? And then he just starts reading like, this one here is $1.99.

And this one here is $2.19. And it's like, fucking no shit. I turn those people away. I've done this multiple times. It hasn't been with something like that, but if I'm buying lumber or something specific, when I need an expert, the guy will come by

and I'll ask him a very specific question. I run into this in my day-to-day life. I don't like it. I want a yes or no fucking answer. I'll ask a question like, hey, do you know if I need 11 penny nails or what for this? Will this gun shoot 11 penny nails? If they don't say yes or no or that one won't but the porter cable will, then you're fucking done. That's it right then and there.

I'll be at my house and I'll ask Kitty or somebody a question. I'll be like, hey, do you know where my wallet is? And she'll start looking. Don't fucking start looking. I wanted to know if you knew. So if they don't have that information up here ready to roll, I'll always say, no, thank you. I thought you knew.

And I'll just walk away. That would have been the great line, I think, for me to use. Instead, like I was, I didn't say it great. You know, like at first, like I've given him a little time to collect his thoughts. Maybe he knows what he's doing. When did you get shitty? Because you haven't been an asshole yet, and I know this is coming. Oh, yeah.

Why don't you spit on him? At first, I'm giving him a chance to sort of look. He's like, well, these things here. He grabs 5,000 screws. I'm like, well, that doesn't even go in a nail gun those are screws it's like oh yeah that's right and he puts them back like what yeah they're fucking screws you fucking fuck what the fuck is wrong with you we're buying because you don't use screws to hold in paper you dumb fucking fuck and so but this is all happening in my head that's not how the conversation went i hope not i did kind of say like but those are screws and he's oh yeah he puts them away and i get him

confused sometimes yeah yeah and then you know he's going on and he's basically just telling me what i've already found like i didn't go straight to help. I had already looked at the stock. Yeah, yeah. This is where I'm confused. And so then he starts reading labels to me and I'm like, all right, all right. Well, thanks for your help. Like that, right?

That's my dismissal. And he keeps talking and I'm like, are you trying to tell me something? Like, are you trying to say something? I'm almost giving him a second chance in my head. Although Chiz has walked off to the shopping cart and started covering his mouth. You can't take it. You can't take it. So what did you actually say?

Did you say, are you trying to tell me something? Are you trying to say something? Say it in the same way you said it. It was a little annoying, but I'll go with with are you trying to say something like like like that and um it's douchey a little douchey well i and um uh and and i should note it turned out that chiz i he was on a mission for a little metal bracket that holds the sheathing together. Like if it's not on a stud together, it has a tendency to do that. And this is a bracket that holds them together.

Anyway, we couldn't find him. So I was like, I'll tell you what. I'll go to Nailguns, do my thing. You go to whatever it takes to get it done to find that part. And the same guy helped Chiz. So Chiz knew, like the second that I brought him back as our helper, that this guy was shit. He was fucking awful.

So, like, he went on a tour of the whole fucking Home Depot together. Like, they're just walking around looking like, oh, it's not in this aisle here and not this aisle either. Yeah, no shit. Like, we don't need to know the aisles that it's not. We need to know the aisles. Remember the not. We need to know the aisles. Remember the other day when I asked a guy for tape, and he goes, what kind of tape?

We're at Walmart, and I need tape. I'm like, hi, where's the, where's the, at first I asked, I think I asked, where's the medical tape? And he's like, I looked really confused. And I was like, no, I'm sorry, I'm butchering this, but I said, where's the tape? And he goes, well, what kind of tape? And I was like, no, I'm sorry, I'm butchering this, but I said, where's the tape? And he goes, well, what kind of tape? And I was like, 3M medical tape.

And he was like, oh. I thought you were going to say duct. I thought you were going to say, I thought it was a question I knew the answer to, but just walk with me. And I was just like, no, I'll find it. I think afterwards he was like, well, I don't know. And you're like, well, any tape. And was like, well, I don't know. And you're like, well, any tape. And he goes, well, I don't know that either. Oh, yeah, that's right.

That's how it went. It's like, can I have tape? Well, what kind of tape? This kind. I don't know where that is. Well, then any kind. I also don't know where any kind is. You know, I don't know where any fucking tape is.

That's the worst thing ever. When you ask for like a specific thing. This happened the other day at a place where it was like, do you know where the molasses is? Molasses? Cheryl, say Cheryl, do you know where it is? And it's like two employees somewhere yelling to each other about your problem in front of all these other customers who are like,

look at this dumb fuck, couldn find something now he has to make everybody else listen to it and then they come on an adventure with you trying to talk the whole time like oh what do you need this for just just don't talk to me lady just just tell me you don't know and I'll give you this painful process on my own but don't don't join my escapade now trying to be a part of it because you don't want to be on cashier duty for five minutes. Like, I can be very polite under crazy, under unusual scenarios. I was buying block the other day, and I was buying, like, 58-inch cinder block.

Yeah, and I went straight to the source. I went to the concrete factory where they make the fucking concrete. And it took them 20 minutes to ring this concrete up. And at the end of it, the thing was like $34.17 or something like that. And I had $35. And I had literally stood there for 20 minutes over 83 cents worth of change. But I didn't feel like anyone there was an idiot or didn't know what they were doing. They explained why things were taking a long time.

I felt like I was dealing with professionals. They even loaded the blocks for me while I waited. But those motherfuckers at Home Depot don't know what the hell they're doing. At any time, like I am not an expert. I'm not. I'm just not. I've worked a lot of projects from electrical to plumbing to carpentry and stuff, but I'm not an expert at any of them.

I just know which tools do what and how to use them most of the time i still might electrocute myself or cause a leak but i'll usually get the job done these motherfuckers sometimes act like they've never worked on anything like like they couldn't wire up an electrical socket like if the bulb broke they'd electrocute themselves and die or something. They don't know what tar paper is. I hate to stereotype women, but oftentimes, if I ask a woman, she really doesn't know. I'm going to say this. If I was a woman working in that field, I'd be the one. I'd be the one that when you were like, sir, can I help you or anything? The guy rolls his eyes.

Well, I'm looking for a nail gun that shoots 11 penny nails. I'd be like, well, you want the Porter Cable CR5? That or the DeWalt if you like the warranty better. It's got the three-year warranty, and you can shoot brads. Like, I'd fucking know, and that guy would fucking be impressed when he talked to me. That's one of the things the guy did. He was like, well, this one here's got the lifetime warranty. Pointing to the big fucking lifetime warranty.

Yeah, no shit. Like, there is, on Nailguns, there is about four minutes of reading material. You know, like the different features, the prices, and the warranties. I covered that before I asked for help. That everything he said and did was a waste of my time. And, like, not just that, but, like, I didn't really want him on my adventure. So by bringing him, it was kind of like a concession. Like, all right, you know, I don't really want help, but I need some, so I'm going to ask for expert advice.

And that fucker was worthless. And that fucker was worthless. And I have to be very honest to all people in my life, whether I've known them for five minutes or five years, and I'll just, I'll figure out how to say it in my head, but I'll usually calmly just say it. Like if I'm done with them, like it happened the other night, I won't be too specific so that this person doesn't get their feelings hurt,

but I was working, and someone was just watching me work. And I was working frantically. I was on a time there were time constraints i was working with stuff i'm not all that familiar with this person was just watching me like oh you're doing this yeah i'm doing that you're gonna do it like this yeah i'm gonna do it like that i'd appreciate it if you left me alone now so i can get back to my work and that was it they were gone and i'm gonna do that from now on in all situations. I hate this scenario you're describing with these people. Like, I get kind of, I get uncomfortable in my own skin when I've got this person with me who, like, I feel like I'm just dragging them along for this thing.

And I know they're going to ask questions and I got to answer their questions. It's like, you're supposed to be helping me, but clearly you're too incompetent to do so like you're not even as good as a quick Google search like you just need to be gone like like all you are is a pair of hands and and and another person in the crowd who knows that a fucking read asshole like that's why a robot will replace you it's it's it's worthless to have those people occasionally of course this happened oh yeah yeah yeah yeah I was just like i'm fucking working here you can you can just make yourself scarce now i'm gonna i'm gonna get back to it um i can be pretty rude if i'm most of the time i'm

really happy go lucky like if i'm if i'm just doing if i'm just hanging out and chilling but if i'm actually working like the stuff that actually constitutes me making money if i'm filming a video or getting equipment set up or something like that, and I feel like someone's taking my time away from that or distracting me, I get really upset about that. I'm a little different. If I'm really working and cranking away, I don't mind a spectator. It's when I'm half working.

Like let's say that I'm on WoodyCraft just like interacting with players. That's a thing. A lot of people on WoodyCraft like like me so I pop in and I have conversations with them and while I'm doing that maybe I slide over to reddit or Yahoo or something and come back or whatever and I'm just sort of slack working if Jackie's there watching that it's like I don't know I feel guilty yeah makes you anxious like you then you have to feel like you need to pretend to be all in on what you're doing. Yeah.

So then they can witness you doing it for real. And it's, yeah, it's like passive guilt. Yes. For not working as hard as you want. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, not every second can be, like, full-on driving attention. And maybe I'm just an asshole i just really don't have any um patience for people who don't like i just really don't have any patience like

like so so there's a few topics that i feel like i'm pretty well versed on one of them's guns so like so i'll be in if i'm in a gun store and i hear someone just saying stuff that's just they don't know what they're talking about behind the counter, that annoys me. And I feel like I've got some sales experience too, so I feel like I'd be good at selling guns. I feel it's kind of what I do anyway to some extent. So I'll hear this gun salesman behind the counter who doesn't know what he's talking about and isn't effectively selling the gun.

He's talking about some gun he doesn't even own and selling that to the customers now. The customers are like, oh, gee whiz, I'm going to go look for that. He just doesn about some gun he doesn't even own and selling that to the customers. Now the customers are like, oh, gee whiz, I'm going to go look for that. He just doesn't know what he's fucking doing, and that always annoys me. I don't like people who are bad at their jobs and sales. In the service industry, that's what it is.

That's what really gets at me. I think I just figured it out. I don't like when people in the service industry don't treat their own job like a professional job. They treat it like a bullshit job that they expect to move on from in a year or two instead of a profession. I think that's what bothers me. I will say a thing about guns, and maybe it's true with a lot of it, but I feel like there's a lot to know.

If someone shows me a picture of a gun online, I'll be like, it's an AR-15 or an M4. I don't know. They look so similar to me. But there are other people who will instantly identify the scope, the stock. They know the difference between an AR-15 and an M4 and which one's a variant of what. And there just seems like there's a lot of things. That stuff doesn't matter, though. A lot of that stuff doesn't matter.

In this particular case... So the guy wanted... He was interested in buying a suppressor for a handgun, neither of which he owned. And he clearly had the money. He mentioned some of the other things he owned, and he could afford to do this. And what the salesman should have

been saying is, like, first of all, well, have you ever shot a suppressor? And the guy hadn't. Well, you've probably seen them in movies, right? They're really freaking quiet. Well, if you want to achieve that, you need to shoot a gun that's using subsonic ammunition. There's two ways of going about that. Some calibers are just by their

nature subsonic, slowing the speed of sound so you don't get the crack. The sonic boom, that adds to the loudness of the weapon. These are things like the.45 ACP and the.300 Blackout. You can also get.22 long rifle that's subsonic. These are kind of the three main calibers that I would go to if I were going with a suppressor. With a.45 ACP, every bullet's subsonic.

You take this gun, slap this suppressor on it, and you're movie quiet. It doesn't even sound like a gun anymore. It's like a paintball gun or even quieter. Or a.22, endless ammo, it's cheap to shoot,'re movie quiet it's just it doesn't even sound like a gun anymore it's like a paintball gun or even quieter or a 22 endless ammo it's cheap to shoot and movie quiet or this 300 blackout you can kill a ditch with and it's quiet if your only goal is to not wear ear protection then this works on almost any gun you could do a 223 or whatever yeah but the guy just wasn't doing a good job of selling and explaining any of that. I don't know. I don't like it when people aren't good at their job, especially when their job is selling stuff or providing service at one of those stores.

This happened to me. So, as you know, I have a lot of lawn equipment, right? I have a tractor and three lawnmowers, and they all sit in the stable. And it won't be too long before these things are put up for the winter now if you don't put something on them to maintain the battery like if you just literally have them sit in the cold without having any kind of charge for four or five months half those batteries will get wiped out over the winter so i need a battery tender well it just turns out that the battery tender person has like an online chat and battery tenders can charge multiple batteries did you know that

i did not know that you can wire them i don't know series parallel or i'm a little mixed up on that but i think you wire them in parallel and then you can charge multiple um some of them are designed to really do it some of them are designed to kind of do it the batteries it turns out need to have um similar like wear characteristics and capabilities it's like you can charge four identical batteries and it'll just charge them a lot slower i understand but i wanted to talk to her about my use case and she wasn't helpful at all so then i was like well you know do i need to literally buy four of these things uh do it? And she says, yes. Like, all right, at least I know what I need and where I stand on this thing. And I keep looking and they have like four bank battery chargers, five, 10 bank battery chargers or, you know, battery tenders. And I'm like, wait, doesn't this thing charge four of

them? Like exactly what I'm talking about and she says why yes it does and I said did you just forget about that one when I asked if I needed four and she's like well that's four in one the fuck you know and now I'm wondering like so the four in one is 250 250 $250, right? The 5-in-1 is like $800. How come? Does it do, yeah, exactly. So, you know, how fast does this one do five batteries? And how fast does that one do four?

Right. In my case. And you need a pro. Yeah. I want to know. So at least one of these, I have a preference for these Optima batteries. Are you familiar you need a pro. Yeah. I want to know. So at least one of these. I have a preference for these Optima batteries. Are you familiar with them at all?

Yeah. They're very expensive. They're more expensive. The one in my truck, though, is like 10 years old now. When I burnt that last car, I forgot to take the battery out, and it was my multi-cell Optima battery that I had just put in there to move the car. Very upsetting. They're expensive, but a battery's not going to be buy it for life.

But there are situations where the more expensive one is a better fiscal decision. And I bought that battery in 2005, and it just keeps going for me. And it doesn't seem to be wearing out or anything. I really like them. So I bought one when the lawnmower needed a battery that's the one i got for it thinking that probably the last one and uh but not every charger could do it well and i just want to know like do i need this

expensive one to charge this i'm going to have a mix and match some are high-end batteries some are low-end batteries and um anyway to make a long story short she didn't seem to know about her products and that sucked i um whenever i need a pro i start with my dad because if he doesn't know like he might know someone who knows because whenever there's something that he's not good at like um with with um fuel injection uh with cars the computers in them like he doesn't have the diagnostic machine to plug in and figure out what's going on he doesn doesn't know what the codes mean. If he sees three flashing lights, it doesn't mean anything to him because he's not trained with that stuff. So he's got a guy for that. Um, or, or like, um, I'm trying to think what,

anything with computers really like, like based on my impression of your father, if he doesn't know, then he'll tell you that. Right. And I prefer that greatly to pretending you know. Yes. Yes. That's, that's, that's, yes. I hate that because people are always afraid to admit they don't know. Especially

if they're working somewhere. Because I feel like, they feel like they've failed at their job. And they kind of have if they don't know, you know, some basic shit. I rarely get professional advice. Like, I think I went to a paint store one time and I got some really impressive advice when I was asking about, uh, like chrome illusion paint from a paint guy. I've gotten really good car advice before on like racing engines and how to rebuild them. I was

doing a three 83 stroker one time and I didn't know, you know, exactly how to go about that and the, what I needed to start with. And I met an engine guy that knew a lot but if I go to somewhere where you don't have to pay for this professional advice and I need it, I usually find a forum somewhere and start reading online. That's the only way to find people who know what they're talking about and then have them be fact checked by others who do as well and actually get

your shit straight because these places can't afford to hire anyone who knows what the fuck they're doing I guess. I don't know. Do you hate when you go out to eat or when you go up to like a deli or something and ask for like a specific meat or specific thing on a menu and they don't tell you no we don't have that they give you a completely like unrelated suggestion it'll be like if you see like crab like market price to be like oh i'll do the uh crab tonight uh we have trout. No, just say no. Don't try and fool me.

Crab of the river. Tricked another fuck into buying trout. He didn't even know what hit him. Hey, I have a Patreon question. Patreon, by the way, if you guys don't know, there's a level, I forget where it is. You can check out the page. There'll be a link

in the description and the annotation on the screen where you can ask us questions every month. So we're going to go through and answer some of those. But this one's fun to me. I'm a 21 year old guy and I've been having sex regularly for a year and a half. The following emotional side is all there, crazy feelings, but it still feels like I'm shit at actual sex and have no clue what I'm doing half the time. When did you guys start thinking you were good at sex, in quotes,

and what is the best way to keep getting better? When did you think you were good at sex? Sometimes they ask questions like, I feel like sex is one of the things that I am good at, and I don't know. I really feel like from the beginning i was doing a pretty good job i feel like i've always been successful at making the other person uh come um i i've never really had any issues lasting as long as i want um it's happened a couple times definitely like like there's been some scenarios where i was with uh girls for the first time and maybe it was a super hot chick and a little overzealous.

Absolutely, that's definitely happened before. But as far as knowing what I was doing, I feel like I just watched enough porn or something, and maybe I've got some rhythm anyway, just naturally. I figured it out, and I feel like I've always been good at it. Some rhythm? Yeah, I got a little rhythm. Yeah, I got a little rhythm, whatever.

I feel like if you don't have any rhythm, maybe sex would be hard. Maybe if you're a good dancer, you're probably good at sex. Woody over there, fucking award winner. I got a medal for tearing it up. But yeah, I don't know how to answer that question. I guess if you're having...

The better question is, what are you doing wrong and how to improve that? I feel like porn is just a great guide if you're a dude on a lot of things. Maybe not that whole jack hand, maybe not some of the ridiculous stuff. It depends on the porn you're watching. You don't know what you're doing. How do you know which is ridiculous and which is just a great technique? how do you know which is ridiculous and which is just a great technique?

I'll tell you, as a general rule of thumb, if it looks rough, it's probably not good. It's probably just for the camera. If it's a particularly rough pounding, you'll find that most women, I suspect, don't respond well to that. If it's a particular rough fingering, then you'll find most most women that's not what they're going for how about this how about some tips how about some little tidbits that we've picked up that may help him along the way because i'm not going to be i'm going to well you want to well twist your nipple a little you want to let your left hand run down a rib cage to her buttocks and squeeze it firmly while you insert your... No. But maybe... Rum is bad.

Caress is good. Little things like, I don't know, trim your fingernails. That's one. Unlike... Wings of Redemption may like to go in with his talons and... It's the werewolf technique. Yeah. But personally, I feel like you want them as short as you can possibly get them without

having some sort of biological issue. Yeah. If you can get them... You don't know if it's good or not? Yeah. It's actually inside your mouth. Oh, I like that, yeah. Because you're going to be jamming those things inside of her vagina,

and especially if you're new at this, where the vagina is located and the directionality of the canal may be a bit surprising for you. First of all, it's a lot lower than you might think it is if you're new to sex. And second of all, it's a lot lower than you might think it is if you're new to sex. And second of all, it goes kind of in a back and upward kind of motion. There's a bit of a hook involved there. There's some stuff to be learned there about doing that.

While we're doing sex tips, if you look at the vagina, towards the very tippy top is the clitoris. Under that, urerethra not a pleasure zone underneath that the actual vagina that's where the canal is i didn't know at the very first that the clitoris you grew up in a different time yeah maybe i had less access to digital porn but i didn't know where the clitoris was at the tippy top uh at first. And the G spot, inside and up a little bit, you can kind of make the come hither sign to find that. And it feels a bit like a squishy wet walnut. So here's what you want to do.

Anyone out there who has a female close by that you can manipulate. So you want to take your left hand, you want to place it right on top, right above the pubic hair, really. And push down a little. And you want to put two fingers in, facing up like this, like that's her belly button, and you want to try to rub the

inside of her belly button. You're just kind of like doing one of these, the come hither, like right on that spot. That's all you got to know. Maybe get your thumb up there. This isn't really breaking new ground. That's like standard. I feel like we're talking to people who don't know the standard maneuver.

Well, this guy seems to. He's having a hard time. It feels like I'm shit at actual sex and have no clue what I'm doing half the time. You want to get her 90% of the way there with your hands and your mouth, and then

it doesn't matter if you're good with everything else. Then you can just go crazy and fucker like you're retarded, and then you'll be... You'll get 10% more. Yeah, like you're retarded. Just go crazy with it. I don't know, dude. I don't know about... We need to see you have sex.

That's the only way to know. You know, of your technique. Get her to hold the camera, I guess. or i could come i got a lot of camera equipment i would mic you up get the lighting and everything we'll do this right like i'm in an awkward position that's a whole production while i and we've talked about this once before while i think i'm very good at sex with jackie i haven't had so many partners that i know that i'm like some sort of sex machine, right? If, if, if there was some reason to be a new partner, I might be like, oh wait,

shit. Like you don't like X, Y, Z, you know, that was like my go-to move. Like there's always a surefire hit. And, um, uh, yeah, you just stopped there. You're good no i was gonna yeah yeah i'll just stop right there yeah we need a video for you and proper critiques here yeah um 21. here's what i want to say that lick the alphabet thing i think it's yeah yeah the genesis i think that that was a that's a joke from sam kinnison It's a well-known. I like Sam Kinison. He gets tired fast. So much yelling.

Watch a ton of him. But yeah, that's the Genesis of that. Yeah, but young me heard this routine and thought, ah, store that away for when I get the opportunity. Turns out it's just kind of stupid yeah i i feel like we could probably help you a little bit more if we knew oh i thought you're talking to me i don't give you any assistance but the whoever was writing us i feel like we could help you more if we if we heard from her side of it like what she telling you

I got a this is the answer talk to her I talk to her and talk to her not just before you have sex or tonight or whatever talk to her while you're having sex that's the most important thing get her to put your hand on your hand and make it do what it needs to do a lot of girls are just really embarrassed and like skeeved out by that sort of thing a lot of them are shamed their own orgas, which is a silly thing that guys can't even fathom, but it's true.

So like it may take some convincing and she may be really nervous and embarrassed about this whole thing. But the best way for you to be good at sex is you being good at sex is her coming. So let her help you help her. So let her help you help her. Actually, like the way you said that, one of the best ways to be good at sex is to be good at making her comfortable during sex. Like that is the foundation

from which you can learn all your other techniques. You know, like Kyle is saying, talk to her and get guidance from her. Right. Like step one, make sure she's comfortable giving you guidance and if you do that well then you can get the rest yeah that's the trick because any tips i like the kyle advice where it doesn't go crazy off the deep end at the very tail end of it where it's all

good and then it's like yeah you just want to do that make sure everybody's really comfortable and then you know just just just give her a bop right in the forehead four fingers second knuckle right up the ass and you want it to be a surprise i call it the shocker draw attention to something across the room is that a bug then i think that's the best advice i can give there because like i don't know like why sex isn't going well for you specifically and so therefore there's no way I could give you realistic advice other than just tell you random things that might make sex better but the

real trick is to talk to her. He also said he started a little late so it could be that he's in his own head a little bit. Could be. You know just talk to her. That's the trick. And just be happy that she's not some like fatty that you don't even talk to her. That's the trick. And just be happy that she's not some, like,

fatty that you don't even want to fuck. That, you know, count your blessings. Small miracles. That's bipolar, so you have to be sure not to talk about things that make her mad. Yeah, wouldn't want to anger her. Not a keeper, bro. Where do you see hope in 10 years?

Well, I'll go first. Yeah. It's interesting. So if you had asked me, you know, where I saw her in, I'll say 14 years, four years ago, it was very much the mom thing. But she appears to be wired to be very career driven. The way Jackie puts it is she wants to be me, right? She would like to have, like her husband may want to stay at home and she would be me, right? She would like to have, like her husband may want to stay at home, and she would be fine with that. She aspires to have a career that can have someone that can survive on a single income.

She has, you know, like some of her greater ambitions include changing the world. She used to be like, I want to be a foreign ambassador. I want to be, you know, like she wanted to be, at one point she wanted to work in a school system so that she could change the way that kids with special needs are handled. There's kind of a save the world thing going on there. And I'm trying, like, the dad in me wants to coach her towards like, you know what? Why don't we save the world without as much self-sacrifice, right? You could be like

a speech therapist, which is like a really viable offshore proof career, or a physical therapist, or an occupational therapist, or something along those lines, where you're doing a lot of good, but you also live in a big house on the lake, right? That's the balance I would love to strike, as opposed to the government employee route, where you're doing a lot of good but it's absolutely soul-sucking 50 year old government building bullshit bureaucracy etc where you you know maybe you could regret your decision so where do I see her well no her grades are pretty good I think that she's more or less a lock to go to college and finish that. And, you know, where that takes her, it's hard to be certain. But Summer,

I don't know. In my hopes, probably, I still cling to the like speech therapist, physical therapist. I think that's a good life for her and something she's especially good at um she wants to change the world uh i feel like that's a little self-sacrificing i don't want that for her but one of those two routes seem most likely what's nice yeah yeah i have no idea yeah i don't feel like like like we need to take a turn at this yeah and some of these are tough what's the meanest thing you've done what's the most shameful Yeah, I don't feel like we need to take a turn at this point. No, no, I think it's fine. Yeah, and some of these are tough. What's the meanest thing you've done? What's the most shameful thing you've done?

I don't have... Meanest thing? I don't know. I guess I made fun of that girl in school that had the cane and all, but not to her face. And it doesn't even count. Well, I did sort of replicate her walk with an imaginary cane.

Behind her? Yes. And I referred to her as Cane Girl, but not to her face because I still don't know her name. One time I beat up a guy over nothing. It felt somehow not chivalrous.

I was like 14 or 15. up a guy over nothing it felt like mine was so horrible nobody said anything like you made fun of cane girl i know her yeah good old cane girl you know what i did that i still feel bad about so there was this girl in my high school and she was a lesbian now i've just to set the scene i think that was less accepted when i was in high school than it is now now it seems like everybody's pansexual transsexual asexual gay it doesn't like like there's a whole spectrum. They don't even agree on gender. Something cool and trendy. Even gender is a spectrum. You know, I'm mostly boy. But back in the 90s, this girl was gay and she didn't change with the the other girls at gym class and stuff like that. And and she was out and she had like I guess she was she's pretty but not any kind of

knockout or anything she was just a normal looking in shape ish girl and she didn't have any friends he was kind of ostracized so I was nice to her and then because that happened she latched on to me hard. Like, you know, we'd just pass in the hallways, and it was like, Woody, how are you? And at first I'm like, good, you? But after a while it was like she was a social pariah because of this gay thing. Like, you know, it wasn't working for her back in the day in my high school.

And I turned off the charm strong enough so that she would stop latching on to me and uh that wasn't like the me of today wouldn't have gone that route you know fuck everyone i don't care i'll be your friend but uh it still feels like one of the meaner things i've done like i was trying to be nice and then she latched on so tight. I felt like we couldn't just be like casually nice. We had to like, she wanted hugs in the hallways and stuff. And,

and it was like, nah, can't have that. You're going to have to back off. And the way to get her to back off was to cold shoulder her enough that she stopped. Well, you know,

I mean, if that's on the, how old were you? Sophomore junior. sophomore junior i mean hey if i can make fun of that can girl i mean why can't you do that yeah at least you were being passively kind of shitty not actively seeking out a handicapped person i guess so i mean she walked past me every day really she was not very fast you had plenty of time to think of jokes. Maybe that's why. Maybe that was part of it.

That is true. She really did sort of linger there in the corridor. Linger. Taylor, you have one? Of course, we wouldn't open the doors for her, so she didn't have much of a choice. I can't even think of the meanest thing. You saying that story reminded me of...

I did the exact same thing with someone who was a social pride not like a lesbian or a gay guy or anything but someone who like had no friends and well i guess the difference was after like a year and a half of like shunning them like trying to make it so nobody thought that i was that guy's friend so that then i could get lumped in on the picking on with that guy like hey you know screw Steve over there hey and he always talks to Taylor fuck Taylor too he didn't want that but after a while I started to get like a little afraid of this guy thinking like this guy's gonna if there is ever a shooting at this school I know that this guy is high on that list so I completely backtracked and acted like I never like stopped wanting to be around him or seen with him.

So I guess smart, the wrong intentions. I was hoping that if that day came in the parking lot, as we were walking in, he'd be like, Hey Taylor, how about you skip school today? My dad,

I'm like, Oh, see you later. Like I've got another story that would that did make me feel like a piece of shit like looking back like they probably really hurt both of their feelings one person they think that actually gave enough of a fuck not even to like hang out with them outside of school just to chit chat for a while not make them feel so lonely that they were so ostracized that that one person that they held out on, they probably went home and thought about,

I could ask them to hang out this weekend. Maybe I'll have something to do. Maybe I'll be normal. Then that person tells them no. I don't know. It's not flagrant, but it is really shitty. I didn't say anything. Maybe she asked herself, in my case,

what did I do to lose Woody? I gave it my all I was really nice you know I every time I saw him I would greet him I would this I would that and it's like she didn't do anything wrong except the world agreed that she was wrong, you know, like, yeah. Hmm. Yeah, it would have been hard to be. I feel like every day, I guess, it's a little easier to be a gay high schooler, but man, that would have been a motherfucker in 2002. I remember we were sitting in shop class,

or we called it metals, it was welding, and there was a guy who i didn't even know him but he was clearly gay like clearly gay and uh and i just remember he came in the room and like had to do a thing like he the room was enormous it's a shop but he came and like interacted with our teacher in some way and on the way out like some guy just yells and it's just like yeah that's what this guy's to deal with on the way out like some guy just yells faggot and it's just like yeah that's what this guy's to deal with on a daily basis like like people just screaming insults at him for no reason just randomly that would have been awful like this guy just walked by

and someone thought it was necessary to scream faggot at him i have another one where i'm awful so i'm in college right and And people know my life story. So to fast forward up to this point, I lived in the dorms. We threw jelly down the stairs. I got thrown out of the dorms. I had to find a place to live off campus. And I stayed in this bedroom in a house. And this, I guess, young woman, young to me now.

She was like 24. So she was like the grown-up. Owned a place. But she rented it out to college kids, like different bedrooms, to help her pay the mortgage. So there were two of us there, me and this other guy. I don't remember his name, which you'll hear. So this other guy was weird. He had this really strong social anxiety.

And he was thin, but he was ugly like to the point where not deformed but like he just wasn't proportioned right in the face he may stop you in the streets ugly like oh jesus that's an ugly person i i wonder if he had an identifiable um like disorder like you know like i don't know there's some sort of like oh yeah that's jason x syndrome it gives I wonder if he had an identifiable disorder. Like, I don't know, there's some sort of like, oh yeah, that's Jason X syndrome. It gives you large ears and kind of a prolonged jaw or something. He didn't, if you looked at him, you'd think,

oh, that's a weird face. It's not Down syndrome, but it is a thing that you just don't see all the time. So he was ugly. And he would sometimes have like panic attacks if he stood in a crowd like at the student center with just all the people sort of buzzing up and down stairs he just would freak him out and um he had great grades he had a 4.0 but he was really struggling to to just get by in school. This is college. And at first I was like, oh yeah, you know,

like I'm going to teach this guy how to get by socially. Like I'm going to be a whatever. And I even like took him out and we played Frisbee in the street together. You know, just like, you gotta get outside. You gotta spend some,

you know, we're playing Frisbee. He was so fucking god awful at Frisbee that I instantly regretted it. Like, I'm throwing it to him, and it's floating, and he can't catch it. He throws it to me, and it's like I'm a dog playing fetch, like, off to the side. Don't worry! Over there running and picking up the Frisbee, and it was terrible. Sound nice so far.

When does this turn? So then the suicide attempts start and um you know like like he's doing fucked up shit like his um his door not good for a renter especially but it had all these glass panes on it and he broke one he threw a ball through it and it's like dude you're like breaking your door and uh he's you know's, you know, he's like, I was just going to get the glass and, you know, do something. And, uh, I'm like, you're not gonna, right. And he'd talk him down another time. He's taking like a plastic first aid kit about this large. You've probably seen things like that. And he's slamming it on the mirror in the bathroom and you hear it. Cause

it's loud. He's just banging the mirror. I don't like this guy this guy wants attention and uh i go over and i'm like you know what are you doing with that and he was he explains that he was hoping that uh um the mirror would break and then the glass would somehow cut him in a way that he would die so these are like half-hearted suicide not even that like like like a fifth hearted or something. That's that's I mean that's retarded what he was doing Really he was making a ruckus And they're wearing me out like I started wanting to help this guy and now he's an annoyance for me and It was one night that I like I went over to his place and he was like sleeping on the floor or something. And he's got like pills scattered about and such.

And he ate them. He ate a bunch of pills. And I call 911 and like, you know, the ambulance comes and the emergency crew's there. And he calls his mom. And he's like, mom, it's over now. I'm done. I'm going to die. I'm just calling you to say goodbye.

I've already taken the pills and I can't take it anymore. And I talked to the ambulance guys, and they're like, Well, but this doesn't kill you. It's like he's taking an overdose of penicillin or something. He took 70 one-a-day men's. Three months. Am I going to die? Well, no, but your hair and fingernails are going to be spectacular, son.

I'm going to die fucking now. That's a lot of niacin you down. Am I going to die? B12 off the charts. No, but the gonorrhea is cleared up for good. That's a lot of penicillin you just downed. That is really sad. So when does this?

Well, it's just that I stopped giving a shit entirely. Like, even when I called 911, it was an annoyance that I had to put up with this guy. And that, you know, like, I'm taking time out of my day to get the paramedics here. And he left for a while. He was gone for, like, three or four weeks. And then he came back, and maybe the't know maybe the semester ended like i didn't really keep up with him i just stopped giving a fuck about him yeah i know he's constant problems i've known people like that after a while it's like you stop taking them seriously and you start

taking their threats seriously because they're not serious in some cases and it's a really it's really risky ground to be on it's really thin ice because all too often someone has those threats. And then Monday comes around, Fred's not at work, and Fred's dead. Fred killed himself or whatever. He's like, oh, he always talked about it, but he never did. But this guy, like Taylor said, he's just causing a ruckus. He's throwing a piece of plastic baggie, essentially, against a mirror. And his thought process is well you never know maybe

it'll shatter and then the glass will jump at me just so and it'll like slit my jugular and then i'll bleed out right here like if he wants to bleed out if he wanted to die like like how hard's a knife to acquire but being me like okay these are cries for help, right? And at first, that cry was something that I was willing to, like, engage in and help him with. And after a while, that cry became, dude, can you just fucking cry quietly? I ain't got time for your shit. Because I didn't like him. You know, and I could see why the world didn't like him and why he had so much difficulty making friends and why he was so alone in this earth because he was ugly and he was um like an i don't know annoying and uninteresting

i got a really good one i uh when i like five years ago i was walking through a grocery store and this elderly woman was offering bagel bites. And she had just finished one batch, was turning around to get the next sleeve out, and I took all of them. And I left. Didn't buy any bagel bites, but I took like nine. You had nine. So I didn't stick around, but I could just picture her turning around like, oh, someone wants to try my bagel bites.

And then, oh, Jesus. Where have they gone? Where's that nice young man? I can't think of anything truly awful. Maybe I've repressed it. Because I have to have done something really genuinely mean. I was driving the car one time when my cousin threw a packet of McDonald's barbecue sauce

and hit this guy who was riding a bicycle with it. He was wearing this big, poofy white coat that my cousin felt was offensive to him anyway. And so we singled him out. And we would go to McDonald's and get like a 50-piece McNugget, which they do. And we'd split it. And so they give you all the sauce you want. They literally give us a bag of sauce. And so we had all this extra sauce, and we sauced that guy. He was dressed funny.

And we didn't like that, so we went and sauced him. That was pretty mean. I've got this for Kyle. Sure, he had to go home with a sauced up, white, poofy jacket. It was one of those big, poofy, white Tommy jackets or something. Got him. What is your worst experience ever with a gun or other weapon? It could be gun safety related or just a bad gun you didn't like.

I swear I've got nothing. Those fucking... Let me grab it. It's right here. These things are such shit. I will wait before... Well, not wait, but... I predict he brings back an unreliable shotgun.

I think that's what he's going to do as well. That one, I don't remember what the name of it is, but there's one shotgun I remember he hated. He's talked about it like three times. Oh, is it an unreliable shotgun? Yes, it is. I think that's the one I'm thinking of. Has like four chambers.

Go ahead, Kyle. Oh, you're muted, Kyle. Maybe jiggle. Still muted. Yeah, I just clicked it. Okay. So despite the fact that this thing is like, I don't know, $1,500, $1,600, I didn't buy it. It has two tubes of ammunition

running the length of the rail and just the one barrel there. It's a real piece of shit. It's a UTAS-15, I think, or something like that. Isn't that in Call of Duty? Didn't they pay you to use that gun? No, they just gave me a bunch of them.

In this case, I was given three of these motherfuckers and in the video, I'm very clear that I don bunch of them. In this case, I was given three of these motherfuckers, and in the video, I'm very clear that I don't like them. Like, see this right here? This is where the switch should be to switch between the left tube and the right tube, but it broke right the fuck off because it's a plastic piece

of shit. It's just a real, like, I don't know, $1,600, but dozens of dollars in materials, Kyle. Dozens. It's just shit. It really is. I want to show you some of the inner workings here.

It's got like... Looks like there's a lot of plastic everywhere. That's... Huh. So that's where the shells go. They go up in there. Those are the tubes. But that thing...

On my Remington, for example, those things don't go past that spot. Well, this is a piece of shit. Oh. So it's part of the design what happened here is they had x amount of money for r&d research and development they ran out of that money without a finished product this then they sold that product because they were out of money and everybody just got a gun that didn't work and that's what happened um they tried to sell to smith and wesson smith and

wesson told him to suck a dick. They didn't want that piece of shit. I don't know much about it, to be honest, other than that it is a piece of shit. I don't know why this is twisting right now, right here. I really don't. But I own three of these. How many work? One? One of them still works.

I broke two making the video. And nothing crazy. Just pumping it. Just pumping it. Just shooting it. If I recall correctly, you were chopping down a tree with a shotgun. No, that's the MKA 1919 shotgun, which is a fair shotgun for its price. It's less than $1,000. Magazine fed.

It's a pretty cool shotgun. This is the real piece of shit. This is just junk. This is the one where I shot some toilets, I set some mannequins on fire, and then I punctured fire extinguishers to put those mannequins out. I shot the paint and the paint, I've got one of these that's completely

covered in paint because I was shooting the paint and it was raining down on me. It's a cool looking gun. Yeah, it looks paint. It was raining down on me. It's a cool-looking gun. Yeah, it looks neat. Futuristic. Yeah, you want one? I just got a new shotgun. You just got a new shotgun? What'd you buy? Browning Light 12.

I don't know. Is it L-I-G-H-T, a Browning Light 12? Yeah, 12-gauge. New to me. That's not an underloader, is it? Yeah. Does it expel the shells out the bottom too? No, I don't believe so.

Okay, different shotgun then. I've got... Semi-automatic. Oh, it's a semi-automatic. It's got the blowback barrel. It's not gas operated. The barrel itself goes back with every shot. Yeah, like an inertia thing Yeah, I've got

What how old is it My grandpa gave it to me and I think he got it like the 50s or 60s. Yeah, it's pretty old still an excellent shape I like it a lot. I in in some of the pictures just to my eye it looked like it might be like 120 years old or oh i can find a picture i'm sure oh i'm uh i'm actually showing a bunch of people on the thing so they have an idea of what it looks like it's cool i don't have anything like that yeah i like it a lot i um i hate these things what i'm what i should do if i what i should do is send them all back to the factory i from what i understand they'll they'll um they'll put the new metal parts in and like get it going again and then i could sell them because they're worth quite i

think they're worth like 1500 bucks a piece a piece, and I'm never going to do anything with these things. They're such shit. They really are. A lot of these brownies in this search are engraved, which looks super cool to me. I don't have anything engraved, really. Yeah, mine is engraved. Is it? Yeah.

Yeah, it's real nice. But as far as the gun safety thing, not like shitty guns, do you have any awful gun stories of safety with someone? Because everybody's had that story of the person who thinks it's cutesy to not know what they're doing, like waving it around like an ass, thinking that it's like, ha ha ha, ha ha. No, that's a firearm. So there was the guy at the gun store who had a gun go off, an MP5K in his hand, and he was trying to be, he was showboating a little bit for a customer,

and long story short, it went off in his hand. And he shot the countertop and the bullet ricocheted and hit the window. So that's probably one of the worst displays of gun safety I've ever seen, especially considering the guy was working in the gun store, and the customer right in front of him. I mean, some of the shit i've done is people might think is ridiculous and crazy and and not very safe but i mean you know car doors flying by and stuff but it's just me yeah it's just me that's in danger for the most part um there's a lot of tripods in use and and most of the time i mean we've had a few little nicks and tears there but it's not as awful as it looks but as far as bullets flying at you, which doesn't happen when I film because I'm the one with the fucking gun. Yeah, that guy who had the gun go off in his hand.

Most of the time, like the people that the kind of gun stuff that I go to is it's a lot of expensive stuff. If I go to a gun show or a gun shoot, like a machine gun shoot, like at Kn at knob creek or something those people are paying so much money to be on that firing line that they know their shit i i haven't seen too many of those guys doing dumb stuff because if you own 50 000 100 000 worth of guns and you've just paid a couple grand to even stand in this spot and shoot them then you probably know a thing or two and you're not going to embarrass yourself. What about amateur shooting, like taking your friends out to shoot skeet, like anything where you had to really get onto someone then?

I usually give them a talk before, and I kind of give them a talk that sort of makes it so that they'll be embarrassed if they fulfill the prophecy. I say something like, look, a lot of times when people shoot one of these machine guns for the first time, talk that sort of makes it so that they'll be embarrassed if they fulfill the prophecy i say something like look a lot of times when people shoot one of these machine guns for the first time the first thing they want to do after they and like do the thing is turn around and be like that was awesome did you see what i did did you see what i did did you don't do that because some of these people will just go ahead and shoot you in the fucking face like they don't take having an uzi pointed at them kindly so just one rule just always keep it pointed that fucking way like if

you can turn around but your hand doesn't have to turn around like i can i've given that same speech you know like yeah there can be a temptation after you shoot to say you know what'd you think of that thing that just happened don't do that yeah with dan pk dan when we were doing that controller thing um for uh for ea for metal of honor war fighter and we had uh hex and x jaws and um and all those guys down plus the the uh you know the professional military guys the special forces guys i had to talk to them a lot about that. And by the end, I had to set a protocol that was like, all right, the gun will be on the ground loaded. You will pick the gun up. You will do the thing. Your next step is always to place the gun

back on the ground again, still pointing that way. Like just don't stay to this protocol and nothing bad can happen. Gun's pointed that way, you pick it up and shoot it. You place it back down, still pointed that way. Nothing in between. But still, I won't name any names, but some of the guys would occasionally spin around with a gun in their hand or something like that.

Nothing too off the wall, but there were a few like, be careful there kind of moments. Yeah, I try to stay away from public ranges and stuff like that where i might be exposed to like just random people with guns um like sporting clay ranges it's kind of hard if you don't have like a full group and you're you know if you ever end up mixed up with some other people i don't like that i get i get nervous around amateurs with guns when they you know especially some of the sporting clays where you can take it real lightly and it's kind of like golf in a way.

And sometimes people drink doing that. You know, something like turn around, blow your face off. That's a 12 gauge. I like shooting with people who know what they're doing and people I trust. So. Yeah. I just don't have any bad stories. Yeah.

That's a good thing. I was almost involved in the controller I think I was a competitor at first and then broke my hand and I was going to be like an announcer or something like that but there were two issues one the way the contract

read to me was not right like it one hate those fucking contracts I hate it when a contract is so difficult to read and understand that you need like an attorney to help you with it. It feels almost elusive to me at this point. I've read simpler contracts and why did you do that? But, um, it read like it owned all rights to everything I've ever done past and

present. Not just in related to this project, but like that. And they're like, well, no. They often do. Yeah. It's like if you read it a little more carefully, then it's in the scope of this and that. And I'm like, I don't know. That sounds like your fucking oral interpretation

because it's not how I read it. Exactly. So that was part of it. And then the other part of it, it was the money was low. Like, yeah, I was going to have to fly and travel and across the continent. The competitors were not compensated very well unless they won. Unless they won. Yeah.

Well, the announcer was, I think it was compensated maybe the same as the competitor without an opportunity to win. Yeah. Yeah. So it was like, I remember the dollar amounts. The competitors were getting like a couple hundred bucks a day. The announcers were getting pretty close to that, not much more. But they didn't even have a chance to win.

I don't know what they gave the guys who were hosting that thing over in LA. But my part of it was more than just hosting it. I did everything. I really made that whole thing happen. So I was doing the guns. I supplied all the guns and ammo. I was the one setting all of them up. I set up a lot of the targets.

I came up with most of the target ideas. They took care of me very well. I was very happy with my compensation with them, and that's probably why everyone else's was a bit low but they were going to have to pay if they if they had picked four professionals to do the job of one me it would have cost them a lot more like i did every i did so much shit on that show there was and i didn't hire any help i was so busy that that week of filming that i just didn't hire any help because i was so busy that it never occurred to me. So it was literally just bust ass, 12

hours a day for every single day. And you were always needed somewhere else. I would have to load the gun, set the gun up, and give Sam X-Jaws a real pep speech from Kyle. Be like, alright, look man,

this thing kicks a lot and it's heavy as fuck. You do not want to have to Reload it this being like an M14 I was like you want to get this done with the the ammunition that's in the weapon So do this breathe like that and then the camera comes like alright So what you need to do is don't be a bitch right be a big man You know operate this thing and I got to do that for the cameras And then as soon as I've done that and made sure he's all safe and pointing the right direction,

I have to sprint, join the group that's composed of Hex and the other competitors and contestants, and now they got to film me joking with those guys and yucking it up. But as soon as he's done filming, I got to sprint back over there and make sure he doesn't turn around and shoot anybody and that the gun is unloaded properly, placed back where it's supposed to go. But then real quickly, I got to get next to to sam put my arm around be like you did pretty good job that i'm going to say you look like a professional jew very good you know i gotta yuck it up with him make a new joke but now it's time to reload that gun and start all over again

because there's five competitors or something so i just did that all day every day and uh but yeah they took care of me they didn't take care of of everyone though yeah so except for winter sam made out well i just ended up not doing it i was like i don't know they just like you don't i'm not that cheap and and there's a cost to it right like it was like six to eight days of filming or something. Yeah. I was going to do the West Coast part with the video games, and I needed to shoutcast it, and I was uncomfortable with that because I'm not a shoutcaster. And in the end, like, dude,

if I spend eight days in L.A. doing your shit, then that's probably eight shitty days on my channel that are less profitable than they otherwise would have been. I know they wanted me to come to L.A. to do that thing after you didn't take it and after a few other people didn't take it. Because I'd already done the shooting portion and they wanted me to come there and do that. But I don't remember. I didn't have the time. That was the end of the story.

It wasn't that we wanted more money. I't remember. I didn't have the time. That was the end of the story. I don't think I, it wasn't that we wanted more money. I think I literally just didn't have the time. Like I was going to do another project where it was like, yeah, this is make or break too. Like these are more professionals waiting on me to go do this other thing and couldn't do it.

But I really enjoyed working on that thing. I'm still shocked that some of the stuff that we did worked. That Mars Rover skit where we've got RC cars that have this Mars Rover body on them and they've got low velocity explosives attached and we've got Sam, Hex, and that Justin, I think. Justin guy who was like 90 pounds. He was a Halo Pro. AA-12, fully automatic, Justin guy, who was like 90 pounds.

He was a Halo pro. AA-12, fully automatic, shooting this exploding thing, and it worked. And then we've got airplanes, RC airplanes, flying around the contestants' heads with a pound and a half of explosives tied to them. They got 870s blasting at them. I just dreamt up all that shit. EA was like, okay okay make it happen and then

we were all just kind of scratching our heads on how to do it and and and somehow or another we we all just came together and made it happen it was a there's like there was a lot of times where i didn't think that thing was going to work and we were on such a tight schedule that there was no room for failure um that was a lot of fun. I like that thing. You should have came just for the fun of it. I was working. I was in a helicopter shooting a minigun for Gamma Labs.

And you were just about to become an award winning gamer probably, wasn't that around the same time? Dancer? I don't know. Dancer, yeah. I forget the order of events there. I did a different shoot and ended up doing that. Yeah. And I'm sure it paid better.

I know it did. Yeah, I was happy with them. Good relationship with those guys. So, it beats real work. Yeah. The flamethrower. I'm very excited about that. Is there an ETA?

I know that you're getting two. I get mine on the third. You'll have yours on the third. And mine is yours. I'll get mine and yours on the third. You'll use it and then when you're wrapped up with it, you'll shoot it my way. Can you ship a flamethrower? How do you do that? Yeah, you can ship it, but I might just come up there.

If I'm bringing the thing, I might come up there. I'll make my fireproofs out it'll be too late well shit i might need it um but but yeah maybe i'll just bring it up there i've still got your saw i haven't figured out how to mail that like oh yeah that that bow saw yeah yeah i was like yeah i'll mail it's a little cylinder right and then i looked at it it's like that fucking long and i'm just like i want to get that back to you though because i know how particular you are about your things but just so you know like it's it's it's in safe keeping it's not outside rusty or anything like that like it's in my living room floor everyone is like that about like their possessions but like i've used that saw to get trees out of the way that block the road from after storms. And I like it.

I'm growing attached to my framing nailer. I've driven thousands of nails with it in the last couple of weeks. See this motherfucker with a rain slicker. You'd think he had sex. I saw it. He was a little aggravated. Ready? Fist of cuffs.

You spit on his raincoat. Dude, my wife mentioned it. Oh, he has to turn the video back on. I will beat the fuck out of you, Chiz. It's not,

it's mine. Look into my it. Oh, we have to turn the video back on. I will beat the fuck out of you, Chiz. It's mine. Look into my eyes. My wife mentioned to my sister-in-law that, yeah, Woody got mad because they were messing with his rainfly. And she goes, oh, yeah. Those things are real fragile. You can ruin them. You can't hit them with bug spray. You can't wash them.

You can't do this. They're walking on them. They use it as a porch. It was no joke. If it's an outdoorsy thing, they should make it a little more durable. It's a lightweight thing. I'll tell you what, I saw that piece of plastic, and

I gave it zero regard. It looked like a plastic bag to me, or a trash bag, or at the very most, it looked like some sort of satchel that came attached to it. It's the thing that's been protecting me from rain and snow for a decade. And it was just sitting there with all the other gear that was like freebie stuff from our sponsor. Or like, you know, I have no, like my hammock, I just don't care about that stuff.

I really don't. Like it could be trash after the trip as far as I'm concerned. So like I just didn't realize that something of value was there. I feel like what my mother would say in that situation was woody if you care so much about it why don't you take care of it why don't you have it put up somewhere why don't you have in your little rain slicker baggie that you keep on your waist at all times so you know that it's close and safe but instead there it was on the ground I didn't put it on the ground. You took it out. Out of what? Out of, it was in a case. So the tent cot has like a big case,

and it was in there with the tent cot inside its case. They pulled the tent cot out of the case that it was in, and I guess Patrick carelessly laid it on the ground or something? I saw it on the ground, and I hadn't sat down yet from the trip, so I spread it out on the floor of the forest and lay upon it. And I didn't even know what it was. So that's as close as I came to disrespecting your rainfly. I used it as some sort of a bed for about two minutes and then got up and then never had anything to do with it again but somehow it became chiz's front porch over there as you like to say and it was

assembly was he had it so that he would walk it was at the like he had a door that he would unzip and walk out and he had like his shit that he was storing on it that he didn't want to touch the ground and his his shoes and he'd walk all over it it's a rain fly like it's delicate like that little spray they put on it to keep it as weatherproof like that stuff comes off guard yeah it's like scotch guard or something like it you can't just abuse it and expect it to continue to be waterproof i wonder how difficult it would be to find a replacement rain fly uh you just check my attic i got more of them so that's why i thought look into my eyes like that was so great i i love

that so much i predicted going for it aha i have it so i predicted it i i was i was like because at first they were talking about using your actual rain so i predicted it i i was i was like because at first they were talking about using your actual rainfly for the shenanigans and i was like he'll beat us up so that you can't see it but on the screen the tent cot has a bag like this that it's stored in and it was in there and the tent cot if you don't know looks i guess something like this uh you know when you use it you guys if you watch the survival videos you saw it so they must have pulled the thing out of the bag that it was in and and left it on the ground so it wasn't like I mistreated or anything I mean I let somebody borrow it but I didn't expect

them to disrespect it and leave shit laying on the ground. I don't think anyone knew what it was or that it was fragile in any way. Yeah. It was. Clearly not. It survived the trampling and the front porch work

it put in and all that. Took it just fine. You don't know. It didn't rain well it's not that they tear it's i hope you go on the fucking appalachian trail trail and you get that thing out and it just leaks and leaks after all this if it does i'm in for you i hope it drips and drips and drips and and you blame chiz this is totally Chiz's fault. All I did was lie on it a bit. Chiz was the one who...

Let's redo the call real quick. All right. Sharing. So you guys are just seeing links. And then... How do I call it? Right there. I'm hoping that we reestablish the video we gave it a while there yeah I couldn't

see either you guys yeah I was just getting the sprawling thing so in a second chooses picture will go away this is I I could go on forever about it people are like oh it's so easy you know to do these layouts and get everything right now they shifted the size of Skype, everything, but whatever. She's still on the no cigarette train. Yes. Yeah. She's completely stopped smoking. I feel like it's off the radar.

Like it's been a month now, right? Since no, maybe not that long. How long have we been back from the survival trip? Two and a half weeks. All right. Three weeks maybe. And he quit for a week or half a week. I want to say, you know, the tail end of the survival trip Thursday. Maybe he quit for a week or half a week i want to say you know the

tail end of the survival trip thursday maybe he quit yeah and it's thursday now so so call it three weeks he's been done i kind of feel like you know cigarettes are just not on the radar and you know i was i was with him till five he had one cup of coffee by 5pm. This is a guy who had 10-12 cups of coffee a day. Jesus Christ, I'd have a panic attack. I don't know. I'd drink coffee like once every couple weeks, maybe. I just never

drink coffee. I'd probably drink a cup a week. Did you see that little girl who ran out from the crowd toward the motorcade with the Pope? I heard about it. What makes her special? This little girl ran toward the motorcade with the Pope. I heard about it. What makes her special? This little girl ran toward the Popemobile and Secret Service grabbed her or whatever and then the Pope's like,

no, bring her over here. They stop the whole thing. The Pope picks the little girl up and kisses her and says something to her and hands her back and they take her back to the crowd. She's crying with happiness. It's a pretty cool little moment. I like the new Pope. He's a cool Pope pope he's the best pope in a long time classic number one pope yeah he's he's he's definitely the best pope in a long

time is he pro condoms i think he is right or no i don't steer clear of that yeah yeah you just don't make a stance on it they've made on it. They haven't changed their bad stance. Yeah, he's doing the best he can. You gotta crawl before you walk there. He's doing the best he can with what he's got. That's true. He doesn't have one of the richest organizations on the planet.

The richest organization. I feel like it's gonna be hard to change. He doesn't wanna fuck that up. I'm just being antagonistic. There's no way you can change all that tradition as one dude. Seems like he's trying at least, although I only see the little sensational titles. He hasn't fucked any kids. I like that.

I saw him kiss that girl right on the cheek. Didn't finger bang her or nothing. Very platonic. That's great. Yeah, he's already a cut above. Is that other Pope alive or did he die yet? No, he's still alive He's off. I don't know training some Sith Lord or something. Whatever they do in retirement

That guy looked just like fucking Yeah shocking Use a scary looking Pope a little girl wouldn't have run up to say hello to him no no absolutely not feared a curse or he'll fucking absorbed her life force and left her a husk of her former self anyway right there in the street he would have transferred his life and traded it with hers walked away as an evil little girl and a girl terrified than that old man body riding down the motorcade what has happened to me oh that's yeah he was creepy look at look at this gift this guy's uh this guy's pretty smooth the one you just linked no i got a new one here i'm really struggling to

find his stance on condoms i thought he said they were okay and now i'm not sure he definitely did not yeah he did not say that see no way i feel like that is a very basic thing that you're wrong about that that's a big sticking point for the catholics that whole birth control thing it shouldn't be though like you should be able to use a condom i don't i don't feel like any reasonable person is still anti-condom the catholics aren't necessarily the most reasonable people. I hear ya. Most of them don't care. I know a lot of Catholics, and I don't know a single one who would take

a hard stance against condoms. You know any Spanish-speaking Catholics? They take a very hard stance against condoms. I'm in the Midwest, so not... no. No. I'm sure they would. But the Catholics around here are like the Easter Christmas Catholics

who, you know, Lent is like, oh, you know, I gave up masturbating a bit. Well, the Catholics I know are the name-your-kid-after-Jesus kind of Catholics. Hey, suits. So, yeah. So they are very anti... Really anti-Catholics down there there's a ton we really ran them out back in the day it seems like like from what i understand like that's a real thing like

we ran out the jews and the a lot of the african americans and uh and the catholics out of a lot of the rural areas down here and um from i asked one time i was like because like i didn't see a jew until i was like 20 years old I had to move to Atlanta to meet a Jew we don't have any that's a big population here I asked somebody I asked somebody one time

because my grandma had this sticker on her fridge that said my God is a Jewish carpenter because you know Jesus is a Jewish carpenter and I was like why don't we have any what do Jews look like and she showed me or whatever and I like, why don't we have any? I was like, what do Jews look like? You know? And she showed me or whatever. And I was like, why don't we have any? And she's like, oh, the old boys run them out of here a long time ago. I was like, what? The good old boys? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think she meant the Klan. So I

don't know. It seems like every area has a group that, or or more that they kind of chased out of there. Yeah, the Jews got rent out of a lot of places, though. They've had a tough lot. I mean, let's say you're an average guy. You don't pay your rent a time or two. You'll get kicked out of a few places, but the Jews, they get kicked out of everywhere,

like dozens of countries throughout history, thousands of years of history. I mean, they've had a few hardships. Oh, here's a question. I can't say that on the... If anyone here might know someone who's sort of a theology student, more or less, I've been doing a little research about this, and it turns out the Jews had nothing to do with the construction of the pyramids, and

in fact, they were never in bondage in Egypt, as far as all of historical reasoning can determine. That's true. That shit just didn't fucking happen. Yeah, they were never slaves in Egypt. Like, that was made up. And you start thinking about it, and you're like, yeah,

maybe that greatest wonder of the ancient world wasn't built by a force of slave labor. That does kind of not make much sense. You watch Moses, and they're all, like, putting those mud bricks together. Like, that shit doesn't look like they made it with some handmade mud bricks. That looks legit. It was probably still

slaves doing all the hard labor, just not Jewishish slaves definitely not jewish slaves um so like i i've been wanting to ask someone who like knows their stuff like what gives i feel like i could have told you that like if you said hey woody i've got a theory that the jewish people did all the real hard labor. I'd say, meh. That doesn't sound right to me. Maybe they should be counting. Yeah, right. You need yourself a lawyer or a doctor or an accountant.

Or a Nobel Prize winner. A Nobel Prize could be. I get that. But hard labor? Pyramids? Rocks and mud bricks? Whips? I just wonder why that was the chosen place

that they picked to make it up. That does not sound like the work of Jewish people. I guess it could have been written so long afterward that they genuinely thought at the time that that happened. I don't know, man. I'd like to know more about that because

we've all seen Moses, right? The Ten Commandments Charlton Heston great movie yeah of course you know and like from that and every biblical description and you know maybe you watch the Moses cartoons or something like that you get the strong fact based seemingly idea that there were like tens if not hundreds of thousands of Jewish people the whole group of the Hebrews all of them under bondage under a pharaoh building these pyramids but that's just wasn't the case and and that was something that when I learned that I was a bit surprised

because that they don't seem to I don't think there is wishy-washy on that we if on that if you're a Christian. I don't think there's evidence that they were held in, I think it was Babylon for 80 years either. Slaves in Babylon. But I know there's a lot of stuff in the Bible that I'm not so sure about, and that's one of them, definitely so. I'd like to know more about that. I'm not so sure about. And that's one of them. Definitely so. I'd like to know more about that. I'm going to do some more research.

It's interesting to research stuff like that. I'm trying to think of some other biblical stuff that's somewhat based. Alright, so they mentioned the pyramids, right? That's somewhat based, in fact. I'm trying to think of other things that could be sort of quickly debunked like that. One of them is always, the Noah's Ark thing is the most...

Someone claims to find that fucking boat like every eight years. They find an old piece of wood that's Noah's Ark. Like, what the fuck's that about? Oh, it's on Mount Arafat. Is it? Like, really? No. Clearly not's it's so obviously bullshit yeah the math is quite easy to do all right so like the Bible gives the

exact measurements of the art in cubits and we know what a cubit is offhand off the top my head I think a cubit is the length from your elbow to your hand or something like that. Google it real quick. It's something based off of that old world measurement bullshit. Convert 10 cubits

to feet. No way. That is a made up unit. Converts to 15 feet. Oh wow, so a made-up unit. Oh, wow. So a foot and a half. Okay. In any case,

so they did the math. They find out how big this boat is. It doesn't work. You wouldn't even have enough room in the boat that the Bible describes to have enough food stored for a tenth of the animals on the planet, a hundredth of them. There's so many goddamn animals. Like you've been to the zoo, right? You're still seeing a fraction of them. Think of all the animals you've ever seen on all the

wild discovery you've ever watched in your life. All of those animals are not fitting on there. Think of how many different kinds of deer there are. Like maybe you don't know. I didn't until I went to that ranch out in Texas. There are dozens and dozens different kinds of deer there are like maybe you don't know i didn't until i went to that ranch out in texas there are dozens and dozens of kinds of deer and antelope and hooved just mammals like that well yeah it is i think everyone knows that it's horse shit but i think the reason they gave those units is because like whoever was writing that like someone wrote down like it's 20 cubits tall and they're like no we can imagine that let's make this unimaginably big no one could make a boat that's 30 cubits tall like oh my god that could fit like every animal on the planet probably two of them they're like yeah yeah go with that go

with that i i feel like that's as easily debunked as santa claus right like oh yeah it's not true think about how fast santa claus would have to go to visit every home or every christian home or whatever in a single 24-hour period right that's how long night is you know over the course 100 miles an hour it's so mind-blowing like you know his his freaking fur would burn up and stuff yeah even if all he had to do was like pass over each and every household he would be drawn he'd be he would be like a zigzag line at the speed of light freaking fur would burn up and stuff yeah even if all he had to do was like pass over each and every household he would be drawn he'd be he would be like a zigzag line at the speed of light like like every house is bursting into a friction fire like the atmosphere the notion of placing

presents under a tree takes 90 seconds it has to right and already it's become so impossible for him to visit you you know, more than a couple thousand homes. He's eating the whole time. Yeah, right, all the cookies. Noah's Ark is as ridiculous as Santa Claus. Well, I want to thank our sponsor

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Almost as good as their underwear makes my cock look. Painkiller already. Episode 249. Bye, guys. Root. Stem.