Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #266

Episode Date: January 28, 2016

This week on PKA, the guys are joined by stand up comedian and co-host of Schmoes Know on YouTube, Mark Ellis, they shoot the shit, talk Trump vs Sanders, and apparently Will Smith sucks!

Live, PKA episode 266 with Mark Ellis. Yeah, we've got two sponsors tonight. This episode is being brought to you by Movement Watches, where high quality doesn't have to break the bank, as well as Trunk Club, two brand new sponsors. Trunk Club is going to help us look good with ease in 2016, apparently. So you'll hear more about both of those sponsors later in the show. But first things first, we've got a great guest tonight.

We've got Mark Ellis. Yeah, thanks for coming, man. I am so excited that all your guys' mailing addresses are apparently out there on the internet. Oh, fuck that. EO boxes. No, dude. EO boxes. My mailing address, my social security number, my wife's name, her maiden name, my family's name.

Everything is out there. I am so doxxed. Woody really fell victim to that harder than anyone I've ever seen Oh, yeah, and it happened like four or five years ago You were you were in the first wave of yeah fucking dude the SWAT team and I got so tight They start calling in advance like you only had a hundred thousand subscribers But you had them it was almost like you had a media team and a publicist cuz all your information Blasted out there like you're a Paris H almost like you had a media team and a publicist because all your information was getting blasted out there like you're a paris hilton or something yeah yeah it was out there about that stuff happening like i've had people like schmo's no fans are the best fans and but

sometimes they'll write you and they'll be like hey i want to mail you something and i always give them the address of the comedy store my mom said so a couple times they call me they've been like hey do you have packages delivered here and i'm like i don't know what you're talking about but i'll take the package well now it's out yeah man they they like fans send me things and i it's tough for me so now i'm kind of known for like being terrible at sending them back which is good i'm glad that they know that because it was never like a thing i advertised or offered or whatever they would just send me like errands to run like hey i need you to sign this head out to the post office shoot that back to me some of them would make me feel guilty by including return postage but it's always like a dollar fifty so it's like oh they try and guilt

you into it yeah yeah it's like you know i already spent the you know 60 cents so you could send it back you know you don't even have to worry about that. We were talking about this before the show. Someone sent me money for postage on some bullshit and I literally tore your money up and threw it in the trash right there in the post office. It made me so angry.

Somebody sent me, I think it was a Black Ops cover, like the box that the game came in and it had like a couple dollars in there for postage so i didn't want to do it but i also didn't want to steal the money so the money and the box stayed in like the shipping envelope for years for years it was on my to-do list like three years later in my office was the damn box and like the three dollars return shipping and then we were moving houses,

and you go through every single item in the whole home as you're deciding whether to move it to the new house or to throw it away. And eventually I was like, well, he's probably not even a fan anymore. Yeah, it's been like four years. He's moved on. He might be dead. $5 for me.

I mean, that kid might be dead. He might have been in a school shooting or something by now. We don't have to worry about him. It's like 1.2 million subs. A couple of them have to be literally gone. Dead. Buried. Some of them are dead. Undoubtedly. Some of them are dead and probably in their will wrote that they want you to appear at the funeral.

I don't know how many you've actually showed up to. There's a lot of disappointed dead people out there i mean unless they can come up with the appearance fee i'm not showing up dude you know what i was thinking about so one of the the factions on woodycraft.net i have this minecraft server mark it's the best in the multiverse and uh one of the factions there which is like this gang that plays and they're gonna do jet skiing and that um you know that activity like you hook it up to a jet ski and uh water like shoots out the feet of it and you can stand in midair are you familiar with this devin super yeah it it is it like a jet ski but then there's like two seats behind

and you can kind of stand up on them no one of those it hooks up to the nozzle on the back of the jet ski and now you have a jet coming out of your feet, and you're fucking Iron Man, soaring around in the water. You're not familiar with this. It's standalone now. That's how it used to be. Now you're completely autonomous, and you don't need the jet ski. That part is in the water below you,

and it's always feeding water into you. It's basically like a jet pack um that uses water instead of you know burning jet fuel or something so it's got this little water pump dangling beneath you in the water continuously pumping water up into your water jet pack and then down you kind of turn into iron man on the water it's cool i love that funeral talk is what inspired this conversation so let's watch a minute or so of this thing. If you don't... Oh, let me go to the big screen. I am

queued up at zero. Are you queued up at zero, Mark? So what happens if we just all go to zero and I'll say one, two, three, play? Are you ready? Good to go. I am ready. All right. One, two, three, play. I hope to God this is the right thing get high

with jet lab oh fuck it's the wrong thing no this is it no the one that I know this is better out the feet hmm the feet yeah this is much better you have. I literally got an ad for mortgages. Well, how's that? Are you trying to tell me something? Okay, rocket mortgage. I think this thing is cooler than the thing that you described, Woody. This is the thing that I was

thinking of. I feel like you'd like mine more if you saw it. Seven, six, five. Someone's, wait. like mine more if you saw it someone's wait ah I found mine oh god that's amazing dude this is not even the amazing here wait can we watch this video instead sure yeah I want to see what makes this better than that cuz that other thing is pretty cool. This is a flyboard in comparison.

I feel like if you slightly angle yourself too far down, you'll just propel yourself to drowning. Are you guys ready? Mark, are you past the ad? I literally just saw the word mortician mortgage. Give me 10.

I need you to stall for 15 seconds. The other one looked pretty cool, but it also looked like it's more work than it's worth. You know what I'm saying? It's fun, but it's also not worth the debt. This one's 10 times cooler, but I feel like it takes

talent to use. And I'll assume, since I've never done it, I don't have any. But are you guys ready? I'm there. Zero, three, two 3 2 1 play. Coolest pack ever. Oh dude. Are you ahead of me? Oh wow.

What are you doing? Strapping like a snowboard and oh shit. He's a merman They should have had a hot redheaded chick on this thing instead of this dude It's cooler than the other one right well you turn into a dolphin with this one. You're basically a merman. Yeah, it's amazing. You're almost like Aquaman because this guy's way up above the water now doing 360s and kind of flying. But then at will, they'll just turn up and dive into the water like a dolphin doing that little hippity hop thing when they're jumping out of the water. Dude, that's really cool. Oh, you get a passenger out there?

Can I tell you what happens to guys who use this, who aren't named like Laird Hamilton? They get laid. Go on. They get laid in a hospital bed. Because did you see the guy when he's going underwater? He has to correct for how hard he's going into the water and shoot out this way.

Most people would shoot just straight down, and their head hits the rock. Of course there's rocks underneath and coral reefs and stuff. They get laid, but it's like a pity hand job in hospice care by their nurse. At the end of it, everyone's just crying.

There's a little argument between the two chicks there of you do it. You jack him off. You have to do something. He us his his jet pack so one of my um factions like on my server is going to do this they're gonna have a meetup like these guys don't hang out in real life they're online friends and uh oh shucks i need to turn the guest camera on anyway it was just for this part whatever they're gonna do a hangout and they invited me to come with them. And I have to

somehow convince my wife that this is a business trip. But that seems terrible. Where are we all going? Spain. Spain. Oh, Jesus Christ, Woody. I thought you were going to Orlando. Spain. Spain. It's a business trip. You want to go to Spain to ride a water skateboard? Yes!

I do! I really, really want to go. See, I would trust you to do it because you're an all-star swimmer. I can just picture seeing how hard those guys were hitting the water after they angled their feet up up there. I can just imagine hitting the water and getting a little discombobulated. And then before I know it, I look up and I'm 30 feet underwater and I just have to resign myself to the fate of being that guy who died on the water skateboard.

Dude, all over the news. The me that existed 20 years ago, inaugural death would be with these guys. I'd be one of those guys. I'd be like a freaking, I was very much that. Then over time,

without being notified, athletic abilities are just removed from you. So this will be like a bit of a test, you know, like, I wonder if I can still do this sort of thing. Maybe like try running a 5k before you jump on the water skateboard.

That's not the same thing, but like Oh, I remember Kyle and I went to this like military training ground thing, right? And there was a rope like 40 feet tall. And I was like, you know, I used to be really good at that. I wonder if I still am. And surprisingly, still can do that.

He climbed up that rope like a fucking monkey. It was ridiculous. And he had those gamer shorts on. I was like, your calves are going to get all chafed, bro. And he was like, fuck it. It was one of those ropes that's like this big around. And I mean, it went really high up. I'm going to guess 30, 40, 50 feet.

I don't fucking know. In that range, yeah yeah but he hustled up this thing like a goddamn monkey all the way to the top it was it was very impressive fair how high did you get up kyle oh i wasn't about to start climbing that thing i think it hurt i if i remember correct i don't think i could have climbed it for one thing but for the other thing like it looked like it was gonna hurt my hands like i didn't want any part of that did you ever have to do that in gym where you know climb the rope right up in the middle of the gym no i have zero gym teacher yelling at you emasculating your 11 year old self because you haven't hit puberty enough to pull yourself up

zero rope climbing experience back in the day i was the best in my entire school there's like a thousand people at this school and i wasn't the best at going up i was among the best right maybe i was like the third or fourth fastest going up. But then I would just, I just. Who's the fastest up the rope? No, dude, it was fastest up and down. So I would get up there and you know, my splits were good, you know, among the better people.

But then I'd just let go of the rope and free fall like 30 feet, just kind of like, you know, monitoring the rope as i went down crashing into this big fluffy mat they had at the bottom and that was where i made up my seconds see i was a chubby kid so i was grew up in fear of showing up to gym class and having a rope just dangling there and being like oh god we knew this day was going to come and now it's here it's arrived but it never did i never had to climb the rope in gym class i don't climb to rock wall i like rock walls but because they're indoor and you have like two dudes spotting you

you feel like you're tom cruise in mission impossible 2 and you feel like you want to go outside and do it but you're you're not you're just a dude in a gym that's it i don't think my elementary school had the funding that that yours yours did because we didn't have anything. I remember it was awful. There was nothing there. There was no equipment whatsoever. We just kind of had a big open flat area. You didn't have a rope?

Your school didn't have rope money? Uh-uh. We didn't have rope money. No tug-of-war? No rope time? I don't think we got the – we didn't get the basketball goals in until I was in like the fourth grade or something. What year did you go to high school?

It was 1917! And the war was so hard! I picture that with no gym equipment whatsoever. Just making mud balls and throwing them at each other. They just have one ball of yarn. It's one student starting with the yarn today.

Yeah. I had gone down and with the yarn today. Yeah. I had gone down and food stocks were low. No, we didn't have shit. I specifically remember, like, thinking back now, how lame in elementary school especially the gym was. It wasn't even hardwood. It was a concrete floor with carpet. It was, like, that really thin, like, industrial carpet that, like,

is really just there so that you don't have to look at concrete. But if you fell on it, you just smash your brains out. What an awful school you went to. Yeah, it was really bad. Middle school we had a track and a football stadium and all that shit. And definitely like a normal regular basketball court with hardwood. But yeah, now that I think back, that elementary school really sucked. I had a gym teacher

who, looking back, I'm kind of sure that he was a pedophile. Oh, you're silent, Matt Taylor. I love how it cut out right there. This is getting too heavy. This is too heavy for us to hear.

I'm pretty sure he was a pedophile, so I'll tell this story in silence. We'll just leave it right there. I think we should finish this story for him. He was pretty sure he was a pedophile because he touched Taylor's no-no square. He had the Ford Astro van. He had Charleston shoes available inside. There was a couch. There was carpeting nicer than the other one at the elementary school.

He ran a health spa when he wasn't at school being a PE teacher. Yeah. I'm sure Taylor's about to come back and ask questions like, if you give, does that still make him a pedo? Or does it make me into old guys? Like, that's give, does that still make him a pedo? Or does it make me into old guys? Like, that's why he's unclear. I guarantee the first sentence is, so they said it was horseplay, but I had to play.

Kyle, is there anything new with the Wings of Redemption sauce? I feel like it's been a week or two. Yeah, so I'm at an impasse with that. I've been for us all to get uh together so we can figure this thing out so what i want to do is so um i'm selling woody a gun i'm selling him one of these uh double-barreled shotguns i've got an actual gun i need it yeah that's yeah um and uh and so i figured and so what he said hey whenever you go to wings of of Redemption's house to take these photos of him for the label for the hot sauce bottle we're doing, we're doing this promotional hot sauce thing.

Do you need guns on the cover for that? Well, actually, no, but coincidentally, he said, hey, I'll come down there and I'll meet you at this third-party location and we'll handle that gun transaction. We can all get to hang out with our old friend Wings. So I said, hey, if the three of us are already in one location, then if we could just get Taylor over there with the wonderful internet in the location,

then we could do a live in-location version of this show where we're all sort of... We could get a conference room at a Holiday Inn and we could all be sitting around a table right next to next to each other, and we could set our mics up and film the thing with cameras. And I thought that would be really cool. So where I am with the hot sauce currently is that I could have sent samples to everyone, but it would have cost roughly $75 worth of just shipping

to get this stuff sent around to every one of us. What the fuck? For hot sauce? Yeah. Just go with me here. And so it was like, do I really want to waste $60 or $70 shipping everybody these bottles if we

in fact might all be meeting up in Southolina and we could just handle this whole tasting of the hot sauce thing then do you have hot sauce in your position that no okay but i can see i would trust you to pick out your favorite as long as you get a good buffalo flavor you know not something too sickly sweet yeah i i i thought a fun part of this would be us all sort of taste testing the sauce. So my only question is this. This is the impasse that I'm at. Do I send out the hot sauce samples to everyone regardless of the cost because I think it's a good bit? Do I send out the hot sauce to

everyone or is there a way that the three of us right now can agree to some kind of scenario? Obviously not January, February 1st through the 7th, because I'm away in Colorado, but some other time when we could all three meet at Wings of Redemption's house in Conway, South Carolina, do a live in-person PKA, take the promotional photographs for the hot sauce, sell you your gun, and have a good time, maybe. I'd like to weigh in on this, because it's clear- Yeah, Mark's coming too. Please, Mark, bring it.

What if we didn't? I'd like to weigh in on this because it's clear. Yeah, Mark's coming too. Please, Mark, bring it. The term hot sauce is obviously being used as a proxy for cocaine bricks. And I think everybody listening in can tell that you couldn't send the hot sauce. See, right through our euphemisms. I love it. We had to meet and we have to have certain flavors of hot sauce.

And Woody's got the gun. The gun, yeah. I think that South Carolina sounds like a fair meeting around, particularly because if you're in North Georgia and you're the guy with the hot sauce, but you don't have the hot sauce. The hot sauce is in South Carolina. Yeah.

So you have to go to where the hot sauce is. You don't want it to cross state borders. There's a lot more trouble with hot sauce if you're crossing state lines. Hey, look, if you want to go to where the drugs are, you got to go to the drugs. The drugs do not get in the car

and drive to you. You should meet in South Carolina. It's a great place. Go to Charleston. Charleston's awesome. Bill Murray lives there. What if when we met up, we did the show

and had wings on it? That's what I want. That's the whole idea. I only put that together in my head just now. Well, everybody knew that but me well fuck all of us it's me you Taylor

and Wings of Redemption all sitting side by side having an in person PKA and you know we don't have to worry about bit rates and none of that bullshit cause we just get some cameras on us all and there's the added fourth dimension of the show where you know I can poke wings.

Not that I will. I'm not going to poke him or anything. But he's right there. Like a broomstick. A real long one. But yeah. Who could eat the most wings? Can we turn it into a competition?

I can. How many wings do you think you could eat? I could easily eat 100, I feel like. Kyle is a eating contest champion. I don't know if you know who you're talking to, Mark. No, really? He's always the skinny guy. He dominated pro athletes, to be honest with you, in Chicago at a paintball eating competition.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. What did you eat? Were you eating paintballs? No, we had aball eating competition. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. What did you eat? Were you eating paintballs? No, we had a hamburger eating contest. I don't know. I don't want to guess at how many I ate because there's a video of me doing it, and I might be wrong.

Low teens? I don't think we got that far. I don't know. It seems like we ate... It seems like they were quarter pounders, maybe cut in half, and I ate like nine of them. I don't know.

One sitting. Did you do the thing that I see on the 4th of July hot dog eating contest where they dip them in water? Yeah, that's what I attribute my victory to, to just like deep, you know, just release it, opening my throat up and letting one slide down after it was soaked in water. That's how I got one burger ahead of Joe Lozon for that $10,000 prize. That was a good payday.

That was a great event. I'm glad we did that. The last burger sounds like a Disney movie. It's going to inspire kids across the world. Woody got $1,500. He's my trainer. That's incredible. Wow.

Yeah, 100 wings, that's a bold statement. I have done shrimp before. I've eaten right at 200, like, shrimp, like, boiled shrimp before. We had an eating contest with that. And then, like, they ran us out of red lobster. They wouldn't let us eat any more shrimp because, like, I had eaten, like, 185 and the other guy had as well. So we went across the street to a Crystal Burger, you know, those tiny little square burgers. And this guy was Turkish, so he wasn't even

familiar with like American cuisine that well. So he's like, he finds these burgers with the onions on them just disgusting, but he eats like five of them and I'm just sweating because, you know, got to eat five more of these burgers. And we ate all those and we had eaten chocolate cake as well. That was the other thing. Once they ran out of shrimp at Red Lobster, they gave us both this big hunk of cake. I wanted the cake because I knew he had bad teeth. The whole time he's eating it, he's like, my teeth, they hurt so bad.

Just constantly complaining about his feelings and shit. He finally threw up when he got about five and a half crystal burgers into him. And I, I became the, the red lobster champion. They should put a statue to you. Well, I,

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It was closed. It was too late. I did vomit out in the parking lot a huge pile of just disgusting shrimp vomit. So that's kind of a monument to my endeavor, I guess. What's the ruling on eating contests? How long do you have to keep it down before it's...

Five seconds longer than the other guy. I want to know if there are any performance-enhancing drugs involved in these eating contests. Certainly not. No? Yeah. No. I've been drug tested by the Georgia Commission for... They get you up at 6 a.m.?

Yeah. They wake you up and they take it right from the vein, too. They don't fuck around. It would be so obvious if those dudes were on HGH, because Kobayashi would show up like he's 140 pounds, but he's got just neck muscles out to here. It wouldn't be HGH,

though, right? I think it would be THC. Yeah. I ate a 72-ounce steak at a really nice steakhouse once. That's fucking impressive. Once I started it, it was like, if you don't finish this, it's going to be like $90. And so I was like, all right, well, I have to finish this now. And ate so much of it that I became like visibly – I got just the meat sweats,

and I didn't shit for like four days and had to go to the doctor. But did you get out of the $90? Did you get the T-shirt? No, there was no T-shirt. It's a little too high, bro, for a t-shirt no there was no t-shirt it was it's a little too high bro for a t-shirt um it was a very that's four and a half pounds am i doing that math right yes and it wasn't like a quick dinner like it was we showed up at five and we probably got out of there at like 7 30 had to really pay it's completely cold you remember in

that uh that chevy chase movie um the Great Outdoors? It's not Chevy Chase. John Goodman? John Candy. John Candy. And he eats the old 96er, this 96-ounce hunk of beef. And once you eat it, everybody gets their meal free, and he finishes it. And he's like, wow, that was incredible. And the guy's like, he ain't done yet.

He's like, there's nothing left but fat and gristle. And he eats all the fat and gristle and everything. And he's just like sweating and bulging and about to pop at the seams. And Dan Aykroyd's like, if I can get him to polish off a couple of desserts, will you throw in some shirts for the kids? So I can't pull off anything like that.

They had one at the steakhouse near where I grew up in Williamsburg, Virginia, Yukon Steakhouse. They had the 72-ounce you had to eat. But then they also – they didn't tell you this in the ad, but they also – you had to eat, like, a baked potato, and you had to eat, like, a veggie and, like, two biscuits and something else that they just threw on there on top of the steak. But you got a T-shirt, and you got your picture on the wall.

So, you know, if you take a date there, you can a t-shirt and you got your picture on the wall. So if you take a date there you can point out your victory. I'm sure that will get you what you're looking for. Here's the 72 answer, get it by night. In Kennesaw, Georgia, just north of Atlanta in a little suburb, they have a pizza challenge called the Carnivore Challenge. I'm looking it up now to see exactly what the deal is. But I think it's a 10-pound pizza. I think. I think it's 10 pounds. And I think it's two people try to split this thing. That's the deal. Yeah, I'll link you to it now. I've always wanted to do it. I've never had a partner that I felt... Yeah, it's an 11-pound pizza,

and two people go at this thing. And if you eat it... You don't really get anything, do you? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You get $50 to try, and... It costs $50 to try, and you get $250 cash if you win. You know, it's funny. We were talking about this earlier,

about, like, men of a certain age. I'm 35 now, so it's like you don't have the physical abilities you thought you would always have in your life. I find that more so with eating than I do with athletic challenges, particularly drinking too. I can have three course lights now, and I'm great. I'm like, what the hell happened to me? I'm such a pussy now. Pizza, this is a guy. I'm coming off a month of being gluten,

soy, and dairy free. So I don't know if this is the best time for me to be eating a pizza challenge or the worst time, but I would totally be your wingman. I would be your goose and I would drown in that cheese. It means Kyle gets a free t-shirt. After that long of being gluten free, I think once like two and a half pounds of dough hits your intestines, you're going to be down for the count. You're not going to be an effective partner. I need a big greasy fat guy for this. I need somebody who's been destroying their system for years.

Someone who just doesn't give a fuck. Bring back John Candy from the dead. Wings of Redemption! What are you talking about? I didn't want to say his about? I thought it was me. Wings of Redemption has been training for this his entire life. His entire fucking life. I would do that.

Now, I would do the carnivore eating challenge. This friend of ours we keep referring to, he's overweight. He's roughly 450 pounds. He's a real big guy. I think that'd be hilarious. I wonder if Winx would do the carnivore eating challenge with me. I know he's on a diet, but maybe that could be an off day. Because you know you could do five pounds of pizza. I don't know I could. I would want to do some training.

You're the Red Lobster legend. There was some training that went into that. Leading up to that, I would do this thing. Every day, I would drink as much water as I could, try to drink a whole gallon if I could at a time to try to swell my stomach, stretch my stomach, so it could take the big load of shrimp that was to come. I want your story to be like Rocky, where you show up to a dingy Long John Silver's,

and it's like, this is where he trained. I got my earbuds in there just pumping, Rocky where you show up to like a dingy Long John Silver's and it's like this is where he trained to take it I just I got my earbuds in there just pumping take it to the limit limit walk along the razor's edge just like shrimp scampi just pushing them pushing the trays away one by one

hot sauce dribbling down his chin I'm like more butter sauce just killing it. No. Yeah, I would do that. That would be really fun. But you definitely need some practice leading up to it. You can't just go in there rusty.

So, Mark, we talk politics on this show now and then. Everyone is saying that the Trump candidacy is fantastic because of the comedic value it brings. I don't know if i agree i don't know it seems like it's either low-hanging fruit like too easy or like it's just not clever comedy what's your take been on the trump candidacy candidacy so far i mean i i never like when when people you know like anchors are like well this is going to be good for comedians like you know viagra gets legalized or like bill clinton in the news. And it's like, well, comedians are going to love this. It's like, shut up.

You don't know what we like. You know, I don't I don't do a lot of political humor. I'm more interested in the Trump candidacy from a sports fan angle, because we were talking about Rocky. He almost is positioned to be like Yvonne Drago, where he says a lot of just like really mean stuff. But it's also like you can't stop watching him. And in a weird way, you're not pulling for him, but you want him to remain in the news. You want him to remain in the running in some sick way. Like Eddie Murphy had a great bit about how it when he was doing Eddie Murphy Raw,

about how white people would get drunk and go vote for Jesse Jackson. And then they'd wake up the next day and they'd be like, oh, my God, he won. when he was doing Eddie Murphy Raw about how white people would get drunk and go vote for Jesse Jackson. And then they'd wake up the next day and they'd be like, oh, my God, he won. And it's like you want Trump to remain like bullying the other candidates because it keeps them honest. So as a ball buster for people who I actually think should be in office, he's essential. But as the guy running our country, I think that's a little scary. I'm there with you. Now, these two are big Trump fans. So well, well, here I will say this for Trump.

And I was thinking about this today is that I what I what I would like about him as a president is that when when Barack Obama or George W. Bush would go overseas and meet with foreign leaders, you know, if you got to go have some meeting with with with Vladimir Putin, right, you go over there. Those guys are not intimidating. They might be great leaders in Barack Obama's case, or they might be good drinkers in George W. Bush's case, but they're not intimidating presences. When Donald Trump gets in a room, you're terrified of the guy. Like, you're going to bow to whatever he tells you to do. So I think in that vein, he might be an asset politically. But the decisions that he makes on a day-to-day basis,

I'm just not sure you can trust that dude for four years. So you're saying you'd like to see him host the future debates. I think that would be good, have the debates hosted by Trump. I wasn't saying that, but now that you brought it up, I totally am now taking credit for that. It's hosted by Trump, like in one of Trump's buildings. And he's the moderator, like he's just doing everything. Exactly right. Because when you when you watch debates, the biggest problem I have with debates

is that it's it's like a it's like a basketball game that never really gets into second gear because you never really saw Michael Jordan heat up until somebody fouled him or somebody said something and pissed him off. And that's off and that's when it clicked in. So politicians, they never really challenge each other. They'll be nitpicky about what each other's policy is but Trump just goes at you. He's an attack dog. So I like somebody that will lay into other people because it forces them to either fight or flight and I like that in a politician. I find him to be one of the most entertaining

I can't even call him a politician. He's running. Did you see the girls he had at his primary? It was so cringeworthy. Now that is cringeworthy. Dude, the worst part is that song was stuck in my head for days. I was sitting on the toilet looking at my phone and I was like, da da da da da da da da da da da da da. I think we need to queue up. Watch the ad, Mark.

Get to zero. We're watching this thing, making it happen. So what makes it so bad is, first of all, he's only got three of them. All right? And he's only got three of them. You can't have a coordinated thing here. It looks so bad.

If he had 30 of them, it'd be okay. I'm ready to go. All right, all right. Hold on, let me put on the big screen. Yeah, there's a critical mass of dancers you need when you're trying to put on a production, and three is not that critical. All right.

It's not it. Ready, set, play. Oh, yeah. Little one's totally off beat. Yeah, she's way off. I love the old people in the back row. Wait, wait, they start clapping and dancing back there. I don't know, look at that bald guy with the white t-shirt in the center.

Third row. Oh, I'm grinding my teeth. It's so bad. Now, alright. Imagine if he had, like, a huge voice choir. That's like... That would be okay. Or if he had, like, a bunch of, like, marching guys.

Look at the background! Oh, it's so crazy. They're all into it now now well some of them are look at fatty in the purple sweater third row back on the left i just imagine like trump under the stadium like this is like fabulous fabulous i think it's great that the kids get a chance to participate, you know? Trump has these children pimping his presidential campaign. Like, this is his event.

He's about to go speak at that lectern. Is that what it's called? Yeah. Creating summer jobs. How do I not? That group is called Trump. Oh. Wait, I think I need to take that call you got an okay i have a delivery it's supposed to be he's probably right here hold on is it food uh firewood firewood yeah woody lives such a such

an adventurous life now firewood deliveries I could use some firewood here. Okay, so does Trump ever actually come out in that video, or is it just the girls dancing? No, he doesn't. It's just the girls dancing. Yeah, it's just the girls dancing in that video. Hello, I missed your call. But that's like his intro.

Those are like his intro dancers. That's so lame. Is that just his intro in the local chapter of Pensacola, Florida, or is that the touring band? I really hope it's Pensacola only it that was awful though and you might not think it but that's in your brain now like they picked they picked a little tune there that will just get into your brain and your brain won't let it go I it was that was awful. I did love watching him.

I saw the clip of him. I don't even know if it might have been the same speech, where he was attacking the microphone. That was sheer brilliance. And we've all been there. If you're a public speaker where you've had a really crappy mic and you don't know what to do, and he vented about the mic and how bad it was to the microphone itself. He wasn't complaining sound.

He was actually complaining to the microphone as an inanimate object that's the guy you want i'd love to see him do that in like a like an address like fucking teleprompter piece of shit piece of shit worked flawlessly for obama for eight years didn't it didn't it like he's just losing his shit he like it's like clint eastwood with the chair you know he's except he took it a step further where you can't even imagine like a little jiminy cricket sitting on a microphone he's just yelling at a microphone it's it's sheer comic brilliance clint really went off the rails i so i don't think that clint is impaired in any way whatsoever because his movies are still pretty good. He just made American Sniper, right? That was a really highly praised movie.

Oh, yeah. So I don't think that there's a guy who really obviously thinks there are people in imaginary chairs, but it seems like someone would have told him, hey, Clint, you're like 85 years old, so if you go out there and do a bit where you're talking to an imaginary person,

there are some people that when they see an 85-year-old man talking to an imaginary person, There are some people that when they see an 85-year-old man talking to an imaginary person, they put a couple of wires together in their head and they start thinking maybe we should put Grandpa away. It's even more awkward when you think about that's his home crowd. That's the people that should have been going crazy and laughing and it just did not play well at all.

Yeah, yeah. They were all like, has Grandpa Clint lost it like he's losing it is this like it's like charlton heston is he is he is he losing it we got to get him we got to pull him quick if he is you got to get that you're the old timey uh like cane and looping around the hook baby play him off yeah yeah that um i i like clint but when i saw that that was that was pretty embarrassing i thought that was. That was poorly done. Well, now, let me ask you this. As a Trump guy, or at least somebody who's entertained by Trump, as it seems you are, is part of the reason why you like him hanging around the races because

there's just nobody else? Is he just kind of by default the guy that you would want because there's nobody else that is even remotely exciting or even has a pulse that you want? Yeah, he's so interesting. He's so interesting and so divisive on so many different issues that those two things are really the same thing. He's so interesting because he's so divisive on so many issues. You mentioned Muslims and he's not. Oh, yeah, keep them out.

Get rid of them. They're losers. You're like, what, did he just say all muslims are losers like like what the fuck like we've never heard a candidate for the the highest office in the land say something like that uh and it just blows people away i i i really enjoy watching him speak and uh and and really watching him debate and and woody was pointing this out to us the other day they They analyzed some of his speeches and stuff, and apparently it's all at like a fifth grade level, you know, like the fifth grade reading level.

You know, really small words. He's not really expounding upon his thoughts in great detail. He's not some great orator out there laying it on us real smooth. He's just kind of a hype man, and he says the things you want to hear. And that can be a little dangerous. Like, I could see Trump becoming some sort of 21st century Hitler if this shit just keeps, you know, if the snowball keeps rolling for him.

I don't know who's going to win. I don't like any of the potential candidates, to be honest. I feel like Sanders is too much of a radical, and some of his ideas might be set big that he can't throw the country into an actual uh... depression or something uh... seems kinda far-fetched but man he's got a lot of big ideas that don't seem to they're scary and uh... then you get hillary who i think might be the devil

actually lights like lucifer and uh... and then the rep those other two knuckleheads who are behind Trump and from the Republican side, they keep talking about how much they don't like the Muslims with their Sharia law, but usually they're for something that's basically Sharia law, but it's Christianity. I don't trust either of those guys, so I don't want anyone to win. I think I would rather have another Obama term than any of the current options,

but they're going to make a decision, and I think it's going to be fascinating. So I'm just sitting back and watching. The thing with me, I feel like I'm obligated to choose one of these people. Like you, neither Sanders nor Trump nor Hillary are my perfect candidate, but you've got to pick one of them you know unless Cruz comes out who's also it doesn't really fix that problem either but the candidates I like the most have no shot I like O'Malley and Kasich and I might like them less if I knew more about them who knows but uh um no no maybe Sanders it just seems like the strategy now for politicians

which is a bummer is that you you just need to hang around in the race and not say anything stupid. You just need to be around. That is not Trump's strategy. And it's not Trump's strategy, which is so refreshing. But everybody else is like, they're just watching him and the comet that he's creating. And everybody else just don't say anything. This thing's going to die out. And then when that thing does, we'll have three days left to make one bold statement. And then whoever runs on the premise

of that alone is going to be winning the election. And I think when I take solace in more now than ever is I think being the president of the United States is more or less figureheads the wrong word. But there's a lot of people in the government that have a lot of power. And I don't think a whole lot of it has to do with being the president of the United States anymore. I just don't. What politician who's not in the race and not even really on the fringes right now would you prefer? Like someone like an Al Gore or a Mitt Romney, someone who's kind of in that realm, like you're familiar with them. They've been around there before.

But who would you prefer? Elizabeth Warden, Joe Biden. Ah. Biden's already... I said that I thought Biden would be our next president like six months ago or something, long before his son died and everything, and I think I would have been correct had that not happened.

I think he would have thrown his hat in there, and we've seen that there's so much negativity for Hillary. incorrect had that not happened. I think he would have thrown his hat in there. We've seen there's so much negativity for Hillary. She's got enough positivity that she's just better than Bernie on a national stage. But she's got this innate negativity that comes along with her that's a bit unusual. It's like, oh, so 23% of people literally want to burn her at the stake that's that's unusual for a politician like we don't see that one often here like they just wrote that in and everyone wrote burn at the stake right here you see Hillary gets elected then the next religious

poll says that 30 percent of the country is now puritan and it's like wow that's a leap yeah so I don't know what's going to happen all i know it's going to be very entertaining and it's it has been thus far as long as trump's in there i'm entertained yeah he's kind of like the yankees yeah you're back taylor you know something like i don't necessarily want the yankees to win every year but the playoffs are more interesting when they're still alive and i would say hillary just for say, Hillary, just for the thing that Bill Clinton would be sleeping in the White House again, and that's just a fun premise.

It's not necessarily something you'd mind for a lot of comedy, but just seeing every time Hillary is giving a speech or she's giving some sort of public address, Bill Clinton is going to be standing right behind her, and just the thoughts going through his head, it's just going to be, I'm going to be watching him more than I am her. That would be something that I would look forward to enjoying. He's going to be the first guy

to get blown in the Oval Office 15 years apart. Just spread out that much. With no wife involved. Yeah, with no wife involved. Hillary won't be part of either process. Maybe like Randy Quaid at the end of Independence Day. Hey boys, I'm back.

He just talks dirty to her. Yeah, whose coattails did you ride? I really want her to name him as her vice president. I feel like that would be so wonderful. I'd love to see that. Clinton Clinton. That would be Clinton Clinton. It should be Clinton Square on the bumper sticker.

It would be super unoriginal with the bumper stickers. It would be like Clinton Squared or something like that. It would be clinton square you know they'd be super unoriginal with the bumper stickers it'd be like clinton squared or something like that it'd be so lame an echo i don't know that'd be so that'd be so ridiculous every male intern in him in hillary's serve it's like it's all male interns they all look like zack out front they don't wear shirts no No, it'd be women. Dude, my second cousin was a White House intern right around time the Monica Lewinsky thing

happened. It just made him crazy. Everybody was asking him if he had blown Bill and stuff like that. The obvious jokes. Did he know Monica Lewinsky at all? Did he know something was going on? No, apparently it's a super big building. No.

Did that actually happen in the Oval Office? Yes, it literally happened in the Oval Office, which is, for people who don't know, is that room with the carpet that's round and the JFK desk? That's the room. Do you think there are stains all over that room with stories relating back to the president?

They changed the carpet, I think. Oh, that's when Taft had a bit too much to drink. Maybe you don't remember, but whenever George W. first took over, he had this whole bit about, he's like, yeah, we're going to steam the carpets and we're going to go in and clean everything up, tear down all the curtains and stuff. Get a new chair. And they went in and all the keyboards throughout the compound had the w no apparently there was a keyboard or two where the w was removed but the whole notion that like the democrats left in protest with the w's in hand is not true

can you imagine something more petty than stealing a key from the white house keyboard where it's like we'll see everyone going to think you're your dad. And they just pull it out. It's just going to write George Bush because he's fucked. Well, shit. I'm being bamboozled again. What's my middle name? Yeah.

Shit. So Jeb's done, it appears. Oh, thank God. He didn't announce anything, did he? I actually read. He's just going to fade away into the darkness back to when he came. When he was at 12%, it was like, oh, my God, only 12%. Then at 8%, like, oh, my God, only 8%.

Now I see him in like 3%. I think I remember him at like 23% back when that was like something like that. Like maybe he was winning with 23% back when that was like something like that. Like maybe he was winning with 23% back when there were 50 candidates or whatever. But, and you know, he was definitely

the establishment's candidate. He was the one that the Republican convention was like, oh yeah, Bush is our man. But Bush again, you know, third time's the charm. You know,

get another Bush in there. And no, no. Trump is responsible for just ruining his candidacy trump's greatest contribution yeah just ruining bush repeatedly in front of the whole country yeah when you hear bush what i hear bush i think low energy right bush low energy he just says it again and again and again until like I hear yellow pages I hear let your fingers do the walking I hear coke I hear Anna smile I hear Bush I think low energy

they're just branded together real good tonight more energy I like it so patronizing it was so good it was like a legitimate it was like a boxing match with words it really was because Bush came in there and he

like had a little jab he he pokes trump a little and trump's like oh yeah that's that's real nice more energy tonight and it's like knock out like his whole if it's a video game he like loses all of his health right there in that one moment the crowd laughs at him and then he tastes his own blood and then he smiles and it's like, I just woke up a dragon. Trump is the guy that will throw sand in your eyes at the end of Bloodsport. Carly Fiorina's like, I just don't know if you know anything about foreign

policy, Mr. Trump. He's like, well, you're a horse faced ugly bitch. Deal with that! Dude, did you see Carly Fiorina in the kids thing? No. Dude, so she was holding some sort of campaign rally event thingy. And it was like an anti-abortion rally of some sort. So she goes and she grabs like a dozen children on a field trip to see like stars and dinosaur bones.

And pulls them into this anti-abortion rally. And the obvious imagery is all like well aren't you glad we didn't kill these fucking kids and all the children are like you know where are the dinosaurs it's how disappointed for those carly's like there were no dinosaurs that's blasphemy now come like come along or there's like a diagram of moses riding one like a stegosaurus and that and that's their proof of it. When they say behemoth in the Bible, they mean all the things that scientists discovered 80 years ago.

Here's Jonah riding the Loch Ness Monster. Yeah, very, very nice. Very nice. I would love to see a fundamentalist Christian Jurassic world where it's the dinosaurs and it's your favorite historical characters from the Bible that have all come back to life and one of them turns into Pet Sematary. Like Moses heading back into egypt hanging from the bottom of a pterodactyl just just just screeching as it drops him off on top of the pyramids

there's like i don't know how many kids are there a dozen 18 of them something like that at this like anti-abortion there's like a fetus in the background there. Are you on this web page I linked? Yeah, I'm here. It's very disturbing imagery. There's a lot, like you see that a lot on road signs on the interstate in Florida. Lots of fetuses and feti. What's singular for fetus?

I think it is fetus, but I think it should be feti. I would like that. The plural? Known as a gaggle of fetus the phoenician wait wait wait like crows it should be a murder of fetus it's definitely not going to be a school of feeders no never look at the mics and recorders down there around the children like you really need to get little Jimmy's opinion on this issue. Yeah, so you can get their delightful little squeals in there.

They've got several mics on the ground. Some of those kids don't look like they're all there either. No, you know there's some parents who had their kids there who were just silently wishing, like, this is just a reminder of other possibilities. They could have gone to medical school and all their dreams shattered by one of these little shit eaters.

I always wanted to try Broadway and now I'm taking my kids to see Plants. Now I have to vote for Carly Fiona. What a terrible person. Yeah, she really is. That's so lowbrow and manipulative. She in particular seems like a real nasty politician.

Like, whoever's running her campaign, I feel like, is from an older school of politics. Like a real dirty campaign manager. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Back to when you just shoot your competition in the face at a show or something. No, she's... But, like, remember that whole thing that she had

about the Planned Parenthood abortion videos. That was just fabricated. It's just like they had to sit down and write some lies down and be like, yeah, that's a real good lie, Carly. That'll play well. And she's like, I don't know. It's not misleading enough.

Maybe you could tweak the language a little and then be like, you know, you're right. If we tweak it that way, they'll have absolutely no fucking idea. I bet if you pull the fetus out, it just says mama and then dies. Go with it, Carly. Could we go in with some CGI and make the fetus mime mama? Could we do that? Yeah, right.

Good. We need to bring in J.J. Abrams to doctor your script. I want the Weta workshop down here. We're going to make this shit look good. They've got a full-grown man with all those sensors rolling around on the floor pretending to die in a womb. Andy Serkis is over there. You're like, God, that's what happens in an abortion. They're dragging the baby out of the vagina.

Pulling its arm back in you go you get back out of here a little michael bay in there right you could put some explosives up the vajayjay kill the baby and then you have the video and cut to black and then you have a post-credit scene of a baby's hand just reaching and that's all you see it's coming out of the medical waste dumpster out there. It's like clawing back out. Just Mexican food and children. Horrible. You know what's crazy is all these trashing each other ads we see for politics now,

if you look up what Adams and Jefferson used to do way back in the day, it was even worse than now. There was no internet. They couldn't just Google and be like, is so-and-so actually into fucking kids? They'd just release pamphlets. They'd be like, I'm really into Adams. You hear Jefferson fucks little kids.

He fucks just every day, apparently, yeah. Yeah, the Adams times. And it's like, they just risked each other. I feel like back then you also, I feel like Washington was a big guy, if I remember correctly, like physically. I feel like washington might come over just whip your ass if he doesn't like what you're saying over there like like if you start talking about some tory shit or something you know start talking about the wigs like like we need that we need some reform in

here washington might come over there put a pop knot on your head i think he's like six three six four or something he was probably like five'6", but for the time. For the time, he's really impressive. He played center. Teeth would have been just terrifying. He's looking at you, gnashing them all together. There's splinters crinkling around. They weren't really good.

How big was George Washington? I think all their stats get exaggerated. Well, they measured him before they put him away and everything. I think he's 6'2". What do we got? I'm going to say over-under is 5'10". I'll take the over. I'm going to say over because I think he was – with that hair. 6'2"?

6'2". Dude, that's an imposing figure in the 1700s. Yeah. Thomas Jefferson? Thomas Jefferson Thomas Jefferson even bigger really Thomas

yeah six two and a half I'm looking down the line here I'm trying to see if any of the other any of the other founding fathers were big guys

I bet like John Adams was a squirrely little fuck five foot seven for John Adams I'm betting that Paul Revere

was tiny I bet Paul Revere was tiny. I bet Paul Revere and I bet Patrick Henry. Patrick Henry, those are the guys that start all the, you know, they start all the shit

and then, it's always the short guy that gets into trouble. And so I think Patrick Henry saying give me liberty or give me death, that dude's like five foot one. Yeah.

Fat as president. Before he ran away. Fat as president. You're not going to, some of the old time Liberty or give me death that that dude's like five foot one. Yeah, that's where he ran away That is present You're not gonna some of the old-timey ones that you just memorized back in the fourth grade and don't really know much about Tapped weight 330 pounds Grover Cleveland 275 I think that taps was the guy who had they had to build a special presidential tub for him right because he couldn't slide his the special presidential tub for him, right? Because he couldn't slide his girthy waistline into it. Yeah, they bathed him out in the South Lawn, actually,

in the Rose Garden. They just hosed him down like an animal. It was disgusting. That's not, that can't be true. Yeah, it's true. It's on his Wikipedia page. I just added it. How bad Tapp must have felt the first time

he was in the White House. He moved in, he won the election. It's like, oh, honey, we can finally put our stuff away. I'm going to go get a quick shower, and then we'll go to dinner. And he walks into the bathroom, he's like, oh, honey, we can finally put our stuff away. I'm going to go get a quick shower and then we'll go to dinner. And he walks into the bathroom. He's like, oh, we got a problem. That orderly that had to take care of the post-taffed

bathtub. Dear God! He's walking away. He's like, them flies were there when I got here. Bill Clinton, seventh fattest president, 234 pounds. Oh, top 10. Barack Obama is

ninth slimmest president at 180 pounds. James Madison apparently only weighed 122 pounds. What a pussy. His nickname was Little Jemmy. How'd you like that? President Little Jemmy. Wow. Overcoming all odds to get elected with Little Jemmy as overcoming all odds to get elected with little Jemmy as your nickname

President's like back in the day it didn't take that much to get elected to an office like president like way less than now I don't know. I don't know I feel like all those guys like like those first like the first seven or so We're all founding fathers. You know they don't like's bold stance is like, did Washington really earn this shit? Yeah, he fucking beat England. Have we ever critiqued his presidency? No, but I feel like after the first few where they were all there for the inception of it, after a while it got to the point where they had all died off

and there was like their underlings and they're like, hey, I was fucking there too. And they're like, you know what? And he's like 87. I don't know. That's what I would imagine. I don't know how... I'd like to research that and see what was...

I think it's the 7th or 8th that wasn't a founding father. I wonder what his background was. What was he famous for? What was he well-known for? Where did he get his money? The 7th or 8th president? I'll be right back. I've got to pay this guy. I'm going to look up lists of presidents. Andrew Jackson got elected in 1820, right? Andrew Jackson was a war hero, correct? That's how he made the $20 bill. Yeah. Andrew Jackson was the one who

slaughtered all those Indians, I think. Well, I mean, you know, tomato, tomato. He's on the $20 bill. I mean, you wouldn't slaughter a bunch of innocent people for it to be on the $20. That's a horrible thing. Or I guess, aren't they switching the $20 to a woman just to make things complicated? I can remember, like, we had this Native American come to our middle school one time,

and at first he's all talking about basket weaving and making pipes out of clay and you know napping flint into arrowheads and then he goes on this long tirade about andrew jackson and how he won't even have a 20 bill in his pocket really and yeah yeah yeah about how all this bullshit and we're all just like looking around like what is this i my and that happens so regularly at my middle school i feel like whoever was you know you gotta go if you're gonna do a presentation for the kids you gotta go to the principal i guess and be like hey principal chalmers like we want to do this thing for the

kids and we'd like them all to come out and watch i feel like my principal just didn't give a fuck because not only did we have that thing with the basket weaving indian who convinced us all that andrew jackson was like uh you know, the first coming of Hitler. We also had this presentation by the Sons of Confederate Veterans. Ooh. If you don't learn history, you're doomed to repeat it, you know? So there we all are in the hot sun sitting in the grass, you know, like hundreds of us. And there the Sons of Confederate Veterans are, all dressed up in Confederate Civil War military garb,

with the guns and everything. This is at the school. And they're marching in formation, and they're playing the drums, and they're singing the songs. And I'm just thinking like, this seems kind of wrong. And I got a friend who was a black girl,

and I was like, how do you feel about all this? She's like, as long as we ain't in class. That's how everything was. The only presentation I ever watched that I was looking at the clock in high school, like, can you please just let me go back to math, was there was this dude they had come

talk with no lower jaw because of chewing tobacco. And he was regaling us with his weird robot voice of the glory days when he had a jaw. And then it was just him with this weird little tiny Roger Ebert mouth barely speaking. Oh, it was so uncomfortable. Did you guys ever have to deal with that, those no jaw people?

We never had one of those. The weirdest assembly we ever had was you know just those days when you're a kid and you got a new fart noise that you're working on like you're making a fart noise with your hand or whatever it was going really well well like a bunch of us were like practicing and we knew we had an assembly later in the week and it was like dude this is gonna crush during a silent moment the. We had no idea what the assembly was for. The assembly was they had a guy who survived one of the concentration camps come in and give a speech. You could hear a pin drop. Now, I'm happy to say nobody made the fart noise, but the entire hour I was dreading somebody making it uncomfortable. The guy's showing us his tattoos,

and he's telling us what it was like, and i'm just waiting for one of my friends to just like nobody did it but it was like the most nervous i've ever been for anything he's like yeah and then they took the women and the children and they gave them the gas and you just know that kids wouldn't get it enough. It would kill. It would kill. Oh, I'd have done it. Come on. We had this guy come in, and he was doing anti-drug talk.

And he was talking, and his drug of choice was meth, I think. But at the time, like, none of us really even understood what meth was. I didn't. You know, it took five seasons of Breaking Bad to really understand the drug, I guess. But he was talking about the lengths he would go to to get it. He's like, when I could borrow, I'd borrow. When I could steal, I'd steal. And if I had to suck some dick, I'd suck some dick.

And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa! And the theaters are like, whoa, whoa, whoa! All right, hang on a minute now. We're going to take five over here. You guys, if you'd like some snacks and refreshments over there by the bleachers, Mr. O'Shohanessy over here, we're going to give him his $8 and usher him the fuck out of here. It was like, whoa, did he really just say that? But he literally said that.

He said that he had to suck dick. And they were like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, and they calmed it down. but then they allowed this guy to continue after saying that and he wasn't graphic anymore uh he sort of used euphemisms and was like and you know what you got to do then you know see do that sort of thing my experience presenting in front of school is you're always allowed one dick sucking slip it's like saying you have one of the 13. Yeah. You always get one. It was just like, is this his first time he's told his horror story to 800 children? Because if he's poisoning child minds everywhere he goes, we need to slow this guy down. But he had a real horror story. Meth head face.

Because we had one of those guys come and talk. And he had not the active scabs everywhere, but he had the remnants, like the Ray Liotta face. Yeah. Yeah, like Edward James Olmos. Edward, perfect description. Yeah, that pumpkin face. Battlestar Galactica, Woody. Oh, thank you.

Yes, I needed that. Mark, did you need that too? I know Eddie James Olmos from, not for love of the game, what was the other one? Talent for the Game. I've seen him in a bunch of movies. I like that guy. He's got a boxing background, which played well in Battlestar Galactica,

but that's neither here nor there. Not the smoothest face, not the best guy you want for Dollar Shave Club. No, he's not the guy for that. When I was a kid, my mom would tell me, she's like, yeah, don't you mess with that acne, you'll be like Edward James Olmos, and I'd cry. Oh, mom. Battlestar Galactica is good.

Battlestar Galactica is one of the best shows out there, I think. I remember TV Guide said it was the best show on television at the time when it was in its heyday. Definitely the first four or five seasons or something like that. There's one guy who's a scientist

and he's in love with this droid. Baltar. Baltar, yeah, yeah. But you don't even know if the woman he loves is real or not or something. And I tweeted out about it. I was like, can someone explain this relationship to me? And the overwhelming consensus was, no, I can't. Are you just starting Battlesquad Galactica?

It's great. But you're in for seven seasons of confusion with this ball tar fuck she's she's real she's real but um it's it's something that sort of transcends reality though there's a whole lot of evidence that she's real and a whole lot of evidence that at some point she wasn't really there well it's very easy to get confused because there are so many versions of each character because the Cylons are kind of like copies of each other. You've got to just know that there's one Blunt.

Even though there's four characters that are identical, literally identical twins basically, they're four completely different characters and you've got to keep in mind they've got varying timelines. It's a lot to keep up with. Kind of like twins in Full House is what it sounds like. Yes, they have to switch them out depending on who's behaving. Kind of like Twins and Full House is what it sounds like. Yes, they have to switch them out depending on who's behaving.

Do you guys know about Fuller House? No. I've heard rumblings. For whatever reason, I see ads for it and articles about it and I'm like, I'll read it later. I never have. I need to be caught up to speed. Everybody's on board except for the Olsen Twins, basically. You've got

Kool-Yay. Essential. So everybody's on board except for the Olsen twins, basically. You've got Kool-Yay. You've got – Essential. Yeah, you've got – I'm glad he wasn't too busy. Who's Kool-Yay? Was he the funny uncle? Yeah, he was the funny uncle.

He was cutting it out. And then Uncle – yeah, he was – well, that was Stamos. That was cut it out. So Stamos is in there. Bob Saget's in there. You know, the three main dad guys, stamos is in there um bob saget's in there you know the three main dad guys you know they're all in there the two older daughters are in there dj and stephanie i think were their characters names but the olsen twins stamos said that he talked to the olsen twins and they were kind of just not interested in it like apparently they haven't acted in quite a while. Weren't they rich?

Billionaires or something. The cosmetics did do well, but you gotta keep in mind, it was kind of off my radar, and I'm sure it was off yours, but there was a time when those girls were like 8 to like 13 or something, where they kept making these Mary-Kate and

Ashley Olsen movies, where it's just the two of them in a really low budget, stupid fucking movie. And I think that they own every bit of that. They're doing the distribution, they're producing it, they're writing it, the whole thing. And they made billions in the end, so they're so wealthy they don't need some Netflix bullshit, so they're not on board. But I think the premise is that DJ,

like the older daughter, she is in the situation that Danny Tanner was in the original. She's got a couple of kids or two or three kids, but her husband has died or left her or something like that. So they all have to reform the big family unit to pull things together again.

Going back and re-watching that show, it's more clear what a dysfunctional, weird situation that was where it's like, oh, I just live with my dad and his friends. It's like, you can't give up little girls. You shouldn't be doing that. Clearly, Jodie Sweetin got into math, so it wasn't all hunky-dory in the full house. Yeah, she looks better now.

Yeah, they all got pretty hot. Those Olsen twins are kind kind of odd looking, though. I think, I mean, if you take away the billion dollars and the fame and fortune and everything. Oh, yeah, I've left eating disorder. They kind of, yeah, they kind of look like they, really, you're into that. I can't take away the billion,

and therefore they stay hot. Take it away, and you're left with someone who looks like they could be in a Faces of Meth like they're just something about those girls like they look a bit like uh they were in auschwitz they're just so skinny it's freaky um i remember one time they were like yeah mary kate she's got the eating disorder and they were like both next to each other and i was like which one which one has the eating disorder like they both are just way way too skinny and their faces are i mean i i got kind of an angular face but but like they they've got these sharp awful alien looking reptilian faces i i don't find them to be attractive get bug eyes i think

they're a little more attractive than you're saying according to me okay but what gets me is that um one of them is way prettier than the other. Right? One on the right. It looks like someone shot the one on the left with a Rick and Morty aging gadget. It would be tough being that twin on the left

there. I didn't know until recently that Elizabeth Olsen, the actress, is their sister too. No way. What? Yeah. I don't even know that person. Elizabeth Olsen, she's the nurse wife in the new Godzilla movie. She did a bunch of stuff.

She's their sister. I'm like 70% sure about that. Holy shit. Yeah. Alright, so there's Mary Kate, there's Ashley, there's Elizabeth, and apparently there's Mary-Kate. There's Ashley. There's Elizabeth. And apparently there's a... I got to see what Trent Olsen is up to,

because if he's not killing it... Oh, poor Trent Olsen. What a downer. Oh, Trent Olsen's bumming me out. What's wrong with Trent Olsen? I mean, looking at the success of his sisters, and then it's just him. First of all, he's 5'8", so, you know, it's already an uphill battle.

You want to see the worst part? I don't even know this person. The only thing, he's their brother. The only thing he's ever done is, like, their movies, and, like, I got a list of their movies, and they're just all ridiculous. It Takes Two with Kirstie Alley. Oh, wow. And Steve Guttenberg. That's actually one of their good ones, but they did this whole string of them like

Mary Kate and Ash- Here's one. You're invited to Mary Kate and Ashley's party. How the West was Fun was one of them. Vacation parties, greatest parties. Like I think this is just them dancing and singing and having a good time in a room. Like I don't even think they went on and like really made a movie. This one's called Fashion Party, a musical party series. I think they're just trying on dresses. This is so bizarre, but yeah I wanna see what their net party series. I think they just try on dresses. This is so bizarre. But yeah, I want to see what their net worth is. I bet it's crazy.

I always thought it was creepy how people would have like a calendar or something that had the exact date when they would turn 18 and be legal. Yes, that's creepy. We got introduced to them when they were little kids on a sitcom. Who saw the little kids on a sitcom and was like, I can't wait to get me some of them? And plus, what's going to happen on midnight that they turn 18? Are they suddenly going to show up at your studio apartment, like ready to go out for a night out on the town?

Ring the doorbell, ask your parents if they can come to the basement where you stay. No, I think we did that, though, for somebody on the show once. It was like a topic. Emma Watson? It might have been her. Yeah, it might have been her. It looks like here they got like $300 million cash, but their entire worth, like their empire, is worth a billion.

That buys a lot of shipped hot sauce. It does. They did well for themselves. That's good to hear. but it's also really not disappointing that they're not going to come back for fuller house can you imagine how much of a bomb that's going to be i bet it'll do well i think it'll do well it's on netflix yeah it seems like all these netflix shows that come back or they bring back old properties everybody gets really excited about and then by the fourth episode everybody's like all right well it was fun but now i have to pay rent so yeah i have no desire to see arrested developments eight or whatever they're up to now

yeah no just say by the bell is the one that i would be like yeah i gotta see what's happening is screech gonna come back like like after the porno and everything like they're gonna so screech is in prison yeah but you could so easily write that into the show that it's just one of these gags that zad came up with and screech got caught and we got to get him out of jail it'd be hilarious that would be great what's screech in prison for um some sort of drug related charge he'll probably be speaking at an elementary school near you. Very soon. A lot of service hours to get done as Screech. Hi, I'm Screech, and you're all

11, so you won't remember me from anything. You don't even remember me from the new class. Yeah, you don't. I'm about to be 30, but I never watched Saved by the Bell. I never watched that show at all. I think I had friends that watched it, but I wasn't into it at all. If they made a remake of that,

I don't think it's going to play very well. I looked up why he's in prison. He got into a fight in a bar in Wisconsin, and he had a concealed weapon on him that he wasn't allowed to have. I don't know if it's because it's a bar or if he didn't have a license, and now he has felony charges to deal with.

Screech back at me. If that isn't another Zach Morris hijack, just have Mr. Belding give Wisconsin police department a call because we know the Wisconsin police department never botches any sort of crime, right? Like we know they're just so good. That's where you want to be. I watched a documentary about that. They do an excellent job.

Wouldn't it be great if Dustin Diamond was actually the guy who committed the crime that Stephen Avery's in jail for? It'd be horrible, but it's horrible anyway. That'd be a great follow-up documentary. They're making another How to Make or Making a Murder. I don't know if it's a follow-up to

the same case or if they're doing another one like Serial, but people love watching the falloutout it's almost like we've had so much fiction we were so spoiled that we had so much fiction in our in whatever the last 30 years that now we cannot be entertained by fictional crime premises anymore we have to move on to actual dead people to entertain us it's kind of scary yeah i was we were talking about it the other week and it was right after i'd seen it and i hadn't done any independent research so i was just completely sold hook line and sinker like this guy is innocent he's totally fine those fucking pigs are the ones who set him up and

then woody was talking about it and he brought up a couple really good points and i like kind of logged him away and thought about it, and then actually did a little bit of research, and the more I look into it, the more I'm just kind of pissed, where it's like, goddammit, I feel like I've been had. They were not honest by any stretch of the imagination

about a lot of those situations. They were not forthright at all. I'm watching this show. I'm on episode five, and my girlfriend is watching it with me she's already seen the entire show and she's done all the independent research so she has her own opinion so i'm kind of watching it but i have the slant that my girlfriend is feeding me information almost like an offensive coordinator you know she's in my ear and i'm looking at i like to picture you with the helmet on. I watch everything with a helmet. I'm a big sports fan.

So, I mean, again, I'm only five episodes deep, so I'm not sure what I believe. But are you, Tyler, are you so totally convinced that he did do it now, or are you still not sure? I mean, I was watching some interview where they had – it was on the Opie and Jimmy show. And an attorney called in, and they were trying to get him to peg it down, like, so do you think he did it or didn't?

And the guy was dodging it for a while, and eventually he's like, honestly, I think that he probably did do it, but there's just, from a legal standpoint, not enough evidence. There's not an, it's not beyond a reasonable doubt. So I would say you have to let him go. Was he related to the case? Yeah. No, he was just an independent attorney

who called in to give us two cents. But that's where I'm at right now. Like, not enough to convict him, but it does seem really skeevy. Like, the more you look into it, the more it's like, this isn't some, like, doe-faced, poor, woe-is-me,

like, down-on-my-luck guy. It's like, you really were a piece of shit. Like, granted, maybe that was kind of facilitated by the fact that you spent 18 years in prison for something you actually didn't do. Piece of shit before that, too. Yeah. Yeah, it still was lighting cats on fire or something.

Like, that's not something that you just do once and you're like, oh, not for me. You know, I dabble in burning animals alive, but it's not really a full-time hobby. I think you and I are on the same page in that I think the Wisconsin police used some really shady methods to convict a guilty man. Yeah. They wanted to make sure they got him. And in doing so, they probably screwed the justice system but might have gotten the right guy. It's fascinating. That's why you can complain about it, like how skeevy it feels watching it, that this is actually something that's real, that went down.

But it is so engrossing when you're watching it. Like it just watching it that this is actually something that's real that that went down but it is so engrossing when you're watching it like it just it hooks you same thing with cereal i'm uh i'm terrible with names but who was the like accomplice brendan something or brendan the 16 year old yeah that guy i'm convinced he's every bit as stupid as they tell us he is. And that the policeman just funneled him into saying things and doing things. I don't know. The deck was so stacked against this functional retard that I feel like it was somehow not right. And his attorney, being pretty much on the team of the prosecution, wanting to help put Avery away was as shady as could be.

Right. Yeah. His attorney had, you haven't been to the end yet, but had like every motivation where he was just sort of trying to turn the person he's trying to protect into making sure he's a really good witness to lock Avery away. Yeah.

Should be worried about protecting his client. We're watching those cops interrogate him. They're just leading they're trying to lead a donkey who's dehydrated to water and he just doesn't know how thirsty he is. They're like, just please say you shot her in the head or whatever you did.

Draw a picture of her on this bed. Make it nice and big so we can see all the detail. Draw a picture of her bound to a bed. And the guy's like, all right. In his head, he's like, all right, if I do enough of this shit they ask me, I can go home and this will all be over. Work on that project to school again. Yeah.

I mean, he clearly is a dunce. We're not going to uh if i had done it book from him in 10 years because i if i did it this is how i would or whatever the yeah yeah the old oj book but uh he is almost like uh if it were just about avery i wouldn't have that much empathy for him because i'll after all the shit i researched it's like all right this is pretty slimy what this guy is but with dassey he's the one who ropes you in emotionally and it's like oh man like and it tints your whole view of the whole situation in a more empathetic light because he's involved you know it's almost like they bring him into the documentary to sway you even more on

avery but yeah they and dassey's attorney should be disbarred yeah he should be disbarred he's not actually an attorney like that guy i i swear i could have represented him as well and i'm not an attorney when you say that i i haven't seen did he pass the bar or are you just saying he was bad at his job he was terrible at his job terrible at his job and it was clear that he wasn't smart enough to be an attorney or at least not a good one like his attorney wasn't playing the same game the rest of the people were he was just being manipulated by everyone else oh shit the attorney's supposed to be smarter than the cops we were talking about when you're we were talking about when you're speaking to someone

who's a standard deviation of intelligence uh above you or below you it's very difficult to communicate with those people. You shouldn't have that issue when you have a phone conversation with your lawyer. You should definitely at least be on the same page, or you should be like, he used a lot of big words. I don't know. I wrote them down. I'm going to figure out.

You shouldn't be explaining things to him. From watching the show, I think you literally take the Wisconsin bar at an Applebee's. I think you show up, and that's where you take the test. And whenever you feel like leaving, you can just take your lawyer trophy with you because congratulations, you won. Karaoke night. He wasn't just a bad attorney as far as representing him.

It seemed like he was almost either intentionally or by sheer incompetence actively working against his client where it wasn't just like oh well rats i forgot to bring that up that would have been good it was like he just you know vomit of words of incriminating things about his client and then just like oops you know how it goes and then just awful the biggest thing is he let the client be interrogated without him being there and i don't know if he was just lazy as hell or if he was like you guys go get him i'll stay away and it's not some smart guy that can like talk back and be like you know what i'm not going to say anything else until i have my attorney you know thank you for being here but i'm gonna i'm gonna stay quiet

no it's a literal mentally handicapped person that they're berating in a room promising him he can turn his sixth hour project as soon as he incriminates himself for homicide. They're trying him for murder and at the end of the interrogation he's like will this take long because I have homework due tomorrow. Yeah he's like am I going to be on time for Wrestlemania?

Yeah. Well unless it's intro to pressing license plates then it's not going to be useful. I stumbled over my words. I suck. Yeah, it's a really depressing viewing of that show. I mean, even if it is totally like an Avery murdered him,

it's still depressing to watch. I'm watching Nurse Jackie right now, and it's like good enough to keep going, but not good enough to like. I'm really stuck on it. Bail out. Bail out. All right, so I just watched seven seasons of Nurse Jackie.

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. So I got it all. So here's the thing. The premise of the show is that she is an exceptional nurse. She's the best nurse that ever nursed a nurse, and she's been doing it for 30 years. And the thing that they kind of hammer into you as a viewer is that nurses care more than doctors and reality they're better than doctors

because at no point do i ever see these like super intelligent doctors ever correct a nurse but constantly the nurses are correcting the doctors it's so so i don't know enough about that world of that's realistic but that's hammered into you but cool thing about nurse jackie is that she's addicted to opiates, so she's constantly crushing pills up and snorting them in the bathroom to get that high to keep going, and you're not really sure if she needs these painkillers because of a back injury that she keeps talking about or because she's addicted, and you come to find out what the deal is pretty quickly, but by season two, you've kind of went the full revolution of things that can happen to an addict right she

gets caught she gets better she relapses once that's happened the show's over because it's just going to keep happening over and over again all the supporting characters are shitty actors the casting is terrible that coop guy like how old is he supposed to be i have no idea 40 that's your answer he's supposed to be almost 40 somewhere between 24 and 45 thank you thank you just just he's a he's a he's playing like a man child type character but he's he's terrible casting he doesn't work for that part she's her friend is this fabulous fabulously rich uh female british doctor who's just got money to burn and lives this crazy extravagant lifestyle. Of course, she's the perfect ex machina.

Any time money troubles come around, it's like, oh, well, we've got this millionaire right here who's literally constantly trying to give me money. But she's a shitty person. I don't think you'll like the show just because she's such a shitty person. She cheats on her husband and the whole thing. It sounds a lot like House where there's a medical practitioner who takes a bunch of opium and is snarky to everyone around

them. I do see the parallels. So House has a formula that it sticks to and House is the smartest guy in the room no matter what room he's in. Nurse Jackie is more like the hardest working person in the room no matter what room she's in. Nurse Jackie is more like the hardest working person in the room, no matter what room she's in. And she'll be unethical to get the job done.

So there must be at least three instances. It's exactly house! That's exactly house! You don't understand. In Nurse Jackie, they often think it's lupus at first. You don't understand. She has a whole crew. A black guy an australian another woman she euthanizes uh maybe three or four people i was gonna say there was a murder and you said not a murder not a murder for sure like i only read about it i hadn't i'm not even at that part yeah there's no murder whatsoever um the closest like there is euthanasia where the the patient is like will you help me die will you will you help me die please like and and in the first

time it happens it was actually a nurse who used to work with her so they've got like tens of years of like relationship and so she knows what she's even asking for she knows that what what they're gonna give her and what she's gonna drink drink and everything. But they carry it. There's like three instances of euthanasia right there. But I liked it, I guess. Is the episode Informed Consent of House in 2006? And he also experiments with euthanasia. I just had to Google that. I'm not a huge House fan.

No, no, no. See, one wears scrubs and the other one used to have a British accent, but not for this episode. Yeah, yeah, that's totally different. On that note, gentlemen, I'm going to have a British accent but not British accent. Yeah, yeah. On that note, gentlemen, I'm going to have to bid my adieu. I'm sorry for the pixelated Star Fox Nintendo 64

camera quality. You've been looking great for a while. Oh, well, hi ladies. And all you boys. Guys, thanks so much for letting me partake in the conversation. You got anything coming up? I really appreciate it. Yeah, we enjoyed having you on. Is there anything you want to pimp or tell people where you're going to be

or what you're going to be doing or some website or social media thing they'd like to go to? For all tour dates and all that stuff, for me, you can just go to Mark Ellis Live. That's my website, and my Twitter handle is at Mark Ellis Live.

And check out my YouTube channel, Schmoes Know. Me and my buddy Christian review movies on there. Some TV shows like Game of Thrones and Walking Dead. We have not gotten into the medical dramas just yet. You can all expect a knock at your door. Maybe I'll barge in on the South Carolina wing-eating party

and just ask you guys to review Nurse Jackie all seven seasons for the Schmoes Know. Invite only. I would love that. That would be cool. You guys rock, man. Thanks so guys rock man thanks so much for coming on appreciate it man see you later yeah I think Nurse Jackie probably won a bunch of Emmys or something too but in my

opinion it's poorly acted everybody in it is a bad actor except for Edie Falco she is good I mean you saw it in Soprano she's got some range she's a good actress she does being upset really well yeah there's got some range. She's a good actress. She does Being Upset really well. Yeah, there's like six, I think there's seven seasons on Netflix.

But her supporting cast is like really weak and wishy-washy. And they're constantly plugging in new actors and pulling out others. And it's clear that they're like trying to be, they'll like pull this minority out and replace it with another. It's like, oh, the gay Arab guy?

He's not cutting it. Pull him out and let's put in the straight, handsome Indian guy. This literally happened. They're like, uh-huh. Well, he's not really cutting it. Let's get a really smart black guy. Yeah, let's make him a nurse. Oh, he's kind of edgy, though. That's not playing well. Let's put in a really smart black guy

who's got a degree. Yeah! And they're constantly doing this with these supporting characters, and I hate it. I've watched seven seasons and I wish I'd only watched maybe two. Yeah, it doesn't. I'm just looking at their Wikipedia page right now for the show. It doesn't look good at all. Not even a little. It's not a bad show. It's it's not a bad show. It's just not a really good show. And I like really good shows if I'm going to be spending my time watching something. Have you ever seen Shameless? I haven't. That's one of them that's kind of on the shelf.

I haven't written it off yet. So one of these days I'm going to have some free time and a broken ankle or something and whatever. And I'll take that on. But no, I haven't. But that and stuff like Justified, I've never seen Justified. I've heard that on but no I haven't that and something stuff like justified I've never seen justified I've heard that's good what I want to watch is um there's an Amazon series about like if the Nazis won yes yes Kitty has has watched it says it's very good I watched a couple episodes into that and it I can't tell yet if it's just not that great or if it just takes a while to

get into it because there are some shows that are worthwhile once you get past the first two episodes, and I haven't got that yet. But, I mean, the premise is so interesting. Who has seen it? The West Coast is all owned by Japan, and the East Coast is all owned by Germany. And so it's like there's a bunch of Americans living their lives in, like, a weird, like,

Tokyo town kind of area, but it's just, like, white people from Portland. Wow. It's really interesting to think what would have happened if that had occurred. weird like tokyo town kind of area but it's just like white people from portland wow like it's really interesting to think what would have happened if that had occurred but yeah i'll have to continue with it are you up to date on it's always sunny no i need to watch the new episode came out last night right so so i won't spoil anything whatsoever but um whenever we initially saw the preview for this season will you and I were watching it, and I was saying, oh, look, they're doing some kind of a,

like, 80s ski episode, and we were discussing whether or not that was just going to be, like, that was part of the promo or if that was an actual episode. Well, it is an actual episode. I think it's the worst episode I've ever seen of It's Always Sunny.

It is, and you have both been saying that this season they just haven't killed it. We disagree. Okay, so the very first episode of the season was Charity McDennis 2 Electric Boogaloo. I liked that. Now, it was a play on something they'd done before, which is the board game that the four main characters invented. It's named after them, Charity McDennis. And I liked it. It was kind of a rehashed thing, but it was all new material. The Maori war dance stuff, when they're

comparing the opening ceremony to the Pakistani-Indian border changing ceremony. I went and Googled that and watched that. Charlie nails it. All that stomping and horn blowing, that's exactly how they do it. He's giving it his all. He's acting his heart out when he's doing it.

He's so red-faced and stuff. It's great. I like that episode. I'd give that episode a 7 out of 10. Second episode was really just a clip show. Lots of flashbacks. I'm infuriated

and I haven't even seen it. There's nothing lower than the clip show. There was stuff added in, but that's how clip shows work. I'm on board with Woody here. It was basically a clip show. Have you ever watched the Simpsons clip shows? I used to be into the Simpsons when I was much younger. And every once in a while they'd throw a clip show on there

because they have so many fucking clips because they've been going for 20 years. And it's so lazy. It's just all family guy style jokes where it's like, oh man, remember that time that we did something else? Wacky! Toe knife! Batsho! Batsho! The second episode of this season was one of

the worst episodes of Sunny I've ever seen. I felt like the second episode was like a 5 out of 10, which is just barely cutting it i did laugh at it there were funny moments and there was new stuff added in but it was a clip show this third episode i would say is like a three out of ten i laughed once and it was an off-color joke from a new character that's just you know he's a one-off character who's just there for one episode and gone like he had he had one scene, really one line,

and that was funny. The rest of it I felt was bad. Basically, they do a parody of those 80s ski movies, you know, when, like, the... I don't know if you're familiar with this genre of movies. You know, there's the douche... There's the douchebag rich guy, and there's the big race at the end

where the rich guy races against the cool local... the townies, you know, and the townies want to rock the rich guy races against the cool townies, and the townies want to rock the mountain because it's where they're from, and the rich guys want to turn it into a resort. If we win, you've got to get off our mountain. That's literally the whole show. The whole show is a parody, and it has a couple of moments that are kind of funny. Mac is skiing in the duster.

But in the end, it's a bad episode. It's the worst episode I've ever seen. And I started thinking about how to compare it to the old episodes and what they used to do in situations like this because there's a moment very early where the group, the core group of characters, the five characters, break off into two groups and then into three groups. And that's happened before in an episode like when they went to Atlantic City.

Remember when the gang goes to Atlantic City to relive their family vacations? In that episode, you saw Charlie going off, drinking the suntan lotion, getting really whacked out, and having this crazy experience with the waitress. Really funny. They had a good bit going. Meanwhile, you had Frank and Mac floating out into the ocean and getting lost with the rum ham and having sort of a

Wilson screaming for it reference. Then they get caught up with the Italian guys. They're shooting steroids. They're eating rum ham. They're playing music and having a great time. Meanwhile, Dennis and Dee have gotten... First, they go to that amusement ride and her hair gets ripped out, but then they end up with these druggies. There's two or three murders.

They're burying bodies. They're smoking angel dust and shit. That's a good episode. This most recent episode, when I compare what each group was doing it Pails in comparison on both the ridiculous level and the funny, you know, there's no jokes Yeah, there were no jokes in there. Do you feel like they tried to force the 80s ski thing way too much? Ah, here's what I hope happened. I hope that somebody I I hope that that group of guys who produced that thing, you know, it's really the gang that makes it,

that they're really into that 80s ski genre and that meant something to them. Because to me, it was so annoying. And all the, like, references, they kept beating over my head, like the 80s references. And, you know, they made it as much like one of those movies as they could.

And I hate those movies. I think they're very lame. So I didn't like it at all. It's the worst episode I've ever seen. Was it kind of like a carbon copy of South Park when they did that like eight years ago? South Park was much better. This is just lame. There aren't many episodes of Sonny that I just hate.

Another one I hate is when they try to add a new member to the gang and they bring back that friend who used to be part of their group and try to replace Charlie with him. That was a bad episode, but this was terrible. I laughed once out loud. It came out... They did that with Mac and it was pretty good. Was it Mac's brother or something?

Oh, that was wonderful. That was Mac Day. Oh, Country Mac. It's Country Mac. I like that one. Where he just embraces the fact that he's gay joke that i think is really funny that they're rolling with is like charlie will just be like oh yeah like 10 years ago back when you were you know into women and he's like yeah yeah wait what drop it just drop it just yeah because he's totally gay now like i haven't mac mac day is one of my favorite episodes he's a

loud oh oh yeah loud and proud brother loud and proud ain't nothing wrong with it like he's just so open about being gay like he's he's almost a little in your face but hey ain't nothing wrong with that i'm gay yeah that's what i do yeah and the way he dies at the end just with like the semi-dramatic like putting his helmet on or not even wearing his helmet and he just rides off falls over at zero miles an hour, and kills himself. Frank's like, you know what's fucking cool? Being alive. They were like, well, he never wore a helmet anywhere.

Yeah, and he was always drunk. Yeah, Mac Day was a good one. I really hope that they redeem themselves with something better this next time around, because I really felt like this episode was a very bad episode, one of their worst. New topic? I have a topic. I wanted to ask if you'd heard about this.

So apparently Spike Lee and the Smiths, and by the Smiths I mean Jada Pinkett and Will Smith, are protesting the Oscars because there are no black films nominated for the major awards this year. And they're not going to go. They're not going to go to the Oscars. Now, Will Smith was nominated for a movie about the concussions in the NFL. He was nominated for that?

I thought no one was nominated. That's the problem. That's what I'm getting at. Will Smith plays in this concussion movie and he felt like his performance was Oscar worthy. It was nominated for a Golden Globe I think his performance was. The issue is his accent apparently is quite bad in it. It's sort of a Nigerian, one of those British-y African, oh very nice to know you my friend kind of accents that sounded indian though um and uh and apparently he's all over the place with it's not very good and uh i think uh spike lee made a film called shy rack which is also not

not doing very well at all you haven't heard of it see see there you're like like fuck off you fucking entitled fucknards like shut the fuck up with your where the black people 30 years he has been what race yeah spike lee has will smith what's his last good movie i mean seven pounds was amazing um eight pounds i like oh it's probably eight pounds eight pounds and then he had another one right around that same time period. There were, they're like, um, he wanted to like save a couple of lives.

Pursuit of happy. So eight pounds is the one where he wants to save the lives and he's donating all his organs. Pursuit of happiness is when he's with his son and he's crying, he's homeless and he's trying to like do door to door sales and anything he can do to like make money. Is eight pounds the one where at the very end he has the jellyfish? Eight pounds. That one was really good to me i love that one i agree i agree and there's another one that's like 2004 though he made another movie i thought at the same time that i really liked a

lot aside from pursuit of happiness and i don't remember the name of it ali that's okay ali ali was okay um but all this new stuff he's making, I think he's producing a lot of his new films, maybe. off with your uh academy or oscar nominations you just don't deserve it you fuck um so they they've compiled all the statistics and found that the percentage of oscar winter winners is in line with the percentage of black actors yeah it's like 13 of both right yeah it's like 12 and a half 13 or something like that like they're right next to each other the percentage of oscar nominees is also in line with the percentage of black actors this thing you know take away the last two even even include the last two years totally what you would expect it to be but because will smith's not in it now he's fucking throwing a hissy fit fuck off will smith doesn't it also cheapen the reward or the award

rather itself if you're like hey not enough of this group got it so you need to make special you know uh exceptions for them and make sure they get it at a higher percentage so then anytime like denzel comes up he's gonna be like did i earn this or am i just the guy this year yeah yeah if next year you know maybe the guy from creed has some great performance and he wins the oscar isn't it everyone is going to say like oh yeah affirmative action oscars you know this is just his time do you want to watch this and of course um oh what's his god net i hate that guy so much vivian we're gonna go oh so this is good so this actress right here played aunt viv in fresh prince of bel-air i don't know if you

remember but he will smith's's mom. And she made this video responding to Jada Pinkett Smith's statements about boycotting the Oscars. I think it's worth a watch. It's pretty good. Right. Because she knows Will Smith. She used to work with him

like 20 years ago or something. You know that she left the show because there was a big feud and they couldn't work together. Yeah, I think money was a part of it. Yeah, too. Okay. All right, ready? I'm together. Yeah, I think money was a part of it. Yeah, too. Okay.

All right, ready, set, play. Blacktress Janet Hubert coming to you. Blacktress? Not in a post, but sort of in a post. And I got to say, I've been trying to figure out, do I really want to do this? And yeah, I do. I do. Today being the celebration of Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday and hitting 60 years old,

I just, I'm at that point where I'm like, uh-uh, I don't give a kitty. I want to say something about Jada Pinkett Smith asking other actors, black actors and actresses to boycott the Oscars. First of all... Do they need to boycott? It sounds like they weren't invited. Does your man not have a model of his own with which to speak? I'm boycotting too.

And the second thing is, girlfriend, there's a lot of shit going on in the world that you all don't seem to recognize. People are dying. Boars are being shot. Left and right. People are hungry. People are starving. People are trying to pay bills.

And you talk about some motherfucking actors in Oscars. And it just ain't that deep. And here's the other thing. She's getting sassy. But you don't ask other actors and other black dresses and black actors to jeopardize their career and maybe black, black tears that you know damn well, you don't do that. And here's

the other thing. They don't care. They don't care. And I find it ironic that somebody who has made their living made their living and made millions and millions of dollars from the very people that you talk about boycotting just because you didn't get nomination just because you didn't win that is not the way life works baby okay and it it's very suspect to me and I seem to recall maybe six seven years ago 25 whatever it was what what the I remember but I seem to remember at option time coming to you and saying you know what well you're the star of the show why don't we all get

together and with you maybe we could get a little raise maybe the network since you know the show is such a hit and you being the star of the show your influence will help us greatly like they did on friends like white shows do remember that can we pause it yeah ready set pause so if people aren't getting all this on friends what happened was rather than have all this infighting and trouble every single one of the friends agreed to be paid the same amount, you know, cause they were kind of equally valuable on the show.

They all paid the same amount and they all got paid a lot. And I think it just helped them all get along a little better than they would have otherwise. And, and it got them paid and it got them paid, you know, they strong negotiating. It was like a union,

right? You know, you had all of them or the show was just done yeah and uh you could you could take any one friend out and probably replace them with someone and keep it going five friends yeah you can't but you can't lose you know joey and and and chandler or something like that so they they got paid and that's what yeah that's what she's referencing there yeah so she's saying hey you know when i asked you for a little like support, you weren't there because you were the star getting all the money. You know, let's do what the white shows do. But now that you need a little support, all of a sudden let's form a union of black actors who are, you know, forming or working as a team. So ready, set, play.

or working as a team. So ready, set, play. And your response to me was, my deal is my deal and y'all's deal is y'all's deal. Well, karma must be a bitch because now here you are. Here you are. You've had a few flops. And you know,

there are those out there who really deserved a nod. And Idris Elba was one of them. Lord have mercy. Beast of No Nation was incredible. That man is an incredible actor. You are not. Maybe you didn't deserve a nomination. I didn't think, frankly, you deserved a Golden Globe nomination with that accent, but you got one.

And just because the world don't go the way you want it to go doesn't mean that you can go out and then you start asking people to stand up and sing We Shall Overcome for You. You ain't Barack and Michelle Obama. And y'all need to get over yourselves. You have a huge production company that you only produce your friends, your family, and yourself. So you are a part of Hollywood.

You are a part of the system that is unfair to other actors. So get real. Now, for those of you who say, Miss Huber, here you go. Here you go. Here you go. That's about it.

I'm bitter. Bitches, please. It's not about being bitter. It's about being right. You know, some of us got mortgages to pay. We got bills to pay. We got bigger shit to worry about than the Oscars.

The only Oscar I care about right now is Oscar Mayawina with mustard and relish. And on that note, Black Christiana Hubert! Oh, she ends it all sassy. To me, personally, ending it that sassy

takes away from her argument but that's just me I don't know so they're boycotting the Oscars even though they weren't invited and like why is that you know what they should refuse to use their NHL season tickets to oh my god like

show them who's boss like that's so silly you didn't get invited suck it up you've already won those before i just feel like i don't know the one of the lines she said is you know you want everyone to hold hands and sing we shall overcome because you didn't get an oscar you know get over yourself and i'm thinking yes exactly will smith get over yourself you know they could yeah that really is so narcissistic, isn't it? Where it's like, hey, I know there's a lot of shit that happens, but what should really bring us together right now

is that I didn't get this award. So, you know, put everything on the back burner. I am the priority. Right, I want everyone to... And who is the guy from Beast of No Nation that they keep saying needs a nod? That was the actress. I can't pronounce the guy's name.

Can you link his name? But you recall the movie, right? I know the movie. I want to see his picture so I know who the hell he is. Well, it's either the general or the little kid. It's probably the little kid. He's the one that people keep saying. That's the thing because I thought the kid did a good job.

Even though most of his lines weren't lines, he just kind of gave looks and quietly shuffled from one spot to the other a lot um in my memory anyway but uh and the general dude was just although you didn't catch the rape scene though either yeah i need things spelled out for me maybe a better actor huh maybe that's maybe they had mimed the sex acts for me by I just feel like you know a better actor would have non-verbally committed my butt hurts you know

he would have yeah yeah he could have been like and I'd have known what happened he probably sat on a sharp rock that must be what happened well it's pretty dangerous out there you know it could happen I slip all the time hit my tailbone pain for days

so the but yeah that kid did a pretty good job what was the movie called Beast for No Nation or something Beast of No Nation Will Smith I didn't see his movie but i'm i

just i don't know i didn't see his movie i guess i shouldn't say much but i i have a real hard time with this guy asking for all this support knowing that he's had a bunch of flops lately if i i mean if if anybody should be protesting maybe maybe DiCaprio should, right? Like, if anybody could, he could make a much better case that he's been treated wrongly than Will Smith can. What's Will Smith? Will Smith's like, look at this movie, you know, Beyond Earth right here. I was amazing, right? When I laid there and I did those eight different accents and cried about my broken leg for

two hours. That was great, right? Oscar nomination. Like, go back to his. Isn't that pretty much DiCaprio's role, too? accents and cried about my broken leg for two hours that was great right oscar nomination like go back to his is it that pretty much dicaprio's role too no i laid there my leg was hurt i was kind of whiny i haven't seen the revenant yet but oh you have you are the only one in creation who's like poo-poo in that one yeah it was a shit to your movie oh you know who else says it's a shit to your movie there's another guy so they someone was like ripping me apart uh no it wasn't will smith it uh some guy on the pks i read it was like you know wings of redemption like in one word got you know

proved that woody doesn't really know his movies and uh what he's referring to is wings asked me how I felt about the lifeboat a 1945 black-and-white film that takes place on a lifeboat in World War two and I saw the standard litmus test for movie knowledge. I I actually really liked the movie It was a good recommendation from wings, but I talked to wings on Skype and he's like the revenant sucked you were right i can't defend it because i haven't seen it yet but but like there aren't many who share your opinion so i look forward to seeing what's going on and i feel like i didn't do it just now usually when i say i don't like the revenant i couch it in like you know but i will say it seems to be a popular movie and i know dr chiz liked it and it. I just thought that it had a very small plot line.

I think, I swear I'm not going to spoil it. I think everybody knows a man, his son, they go into the woods on some sort of fur thing. It goes awry, and he has to make his way out of the woods. Right? I'll leave it at that i think that's not a spoiler and uh um that is a very simple plot line there's no twists there's no turns was that ben affleck movie we saw where ah yeah that what was that called he and his wife see now that is a psycho gone psycho not Gone Girl although that is excellent

that's Casey Affleck no it's not Ben Affleck is in Gone Girl I think it is Gone Girl that we're talking about that's the one where she goes crazy raped and murdered yeah we watched Gone Girl now I'm not expecting every movie to have

a plot as I didn't figure out the plot in advance on Gone Girl, I don't think. And it was just a lot of twists and turns. That was a curvy road that they let us down. The Revenant is a one-block dead-end street in terms of plot. It is a very simple thing. Yeah, but even if The Revenant isn't the one that would get dicaprio in there for the oscars like shutter island maybe he was gone baby gone that was the case the affleck movie uh blood

diamond was really good um i thought his performance in django was was oscar worthy as in a it's a um you know it's not a lead acting role anyway regardless he's been overlooked by the oscars a lot more than will smith total totally yeah chis knows a lot about this he he he would sit there and name every movie that he like every the one that actually won in the year that he could have won and for the most part he's like the guy hasn't been robbed you know he just was unlucky enough to go up in strong years. He's still a young guy. He's got plenty of time. Who else has plenty of time?

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I do too. I bought a crappier watch a few weeks ago, and I was like, yeah, I don't need good watches. And then I got this one, and I'm like, oh yeah. That's the difference, huh? That's like... Do you have the metal band kyle it's right

yes i got the metal band i actually got the metal band separate they ship mine with a leather band but uh i thought leather i thought the metal would be cool so i got the wait hold yours up again kyle because i think you might have got the last one that I initially picked, and I had to change my choice. Yeah. Yeah, the black one with the black face. I was leaning towards that one, and then I went for my second choice, which I think now really gives off a good, like, new money drug dealer vibe. Yeah, yeah.

You know? That looks like. Where can I get Molly? Oh, look at that guy's watch. Probably. That looks like... Where can I get Molly? Oh, look at that guy's watch. And that's the vibe you want to give out to people. Yeah, for $40, that guy could get you a handjob and some Molly.

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them to be this high quality when i was looking at the price online like when it showed up i was like all right this is like way too cheap for a watch to show up and not be like some weird plastic instead of metal but no it feels like excellent quality it's really it's heavy yeah i was gonna say the size the weight like it just vibes it's just right josh girth yeah josh got it out and it comes in this nice little leather sort of cushy case type thing and josh gets it out and he's like oh lord that's fancy right there yeah he really liked it yeah there you go even the um oh we got different cases yeah oh we did get different cases he's got kind of a zipper shell case and we had more of this sort of display case that was like not really a go and carry sent me a separate watch band and even like the watch band case seemed pimp and i was like damn you guys i don't know it just it's cool it's a nice

opening experience not that i pick things based on the, but you like unveil it in the box. And they somehow like, when you pull them apart, there's like a suction, like resistance that's not there with a crappy box. There's like a vacuum created on the inside of that box. Thank you. That's what I'm going for. Like you pull it and it's like vacuum. And then you take the watch out and you feel it and it's heavy and it looks great. I'm really happy with the watch.

I like free shit. Free shit's the best shit. Yeah, I'm a huge fan. Speaking of free shit, so the flamethrower company, the handheld models, I've got one that's yours and one that's mine

and I'm waiting to do the video with them and I'm going to send yours along on its way. The company got in touch when they said, hey, hold off on that video. We've upgraded the flamethrower. Now the flame shoots wider. It's a wider flame and it shoots farther as well. They're going

to send me the new models. I think they're going to be here Tuesday. They forgot to mention what to do about the old flamethrowers. I don't think they want them back. Why would they? They're the new models. I think they're going to be here Tuesday. But they forgot to mention what to do about the old flamethrowers. I don't think they want them back. No, why would they? They're the old ones. I think I'm going to have like half a dozen flamethrowers over here by the time this thing is said and done.

So I'm pretty happy about that. P.O. Box, send him a letter if you wish that he'd give his stuff to you. Yeah, absolutely. I'm ready to arm... Right now, I could arm a couple of squads of men. I've got enough body armor for one squad. I could have a flamer

squad where everybody's got a flamer. Your pillbox squad. Take them out from a distance. Every fan is like, oh, wait. You have a thing you don't want? I like free shit. Send it to me. I've got lots of extras. It's nice to be like uh like my dad he he always jokes to his friends about it he my dad has a friend who's like super jealous of that the fact that i give my dad stuff all the time and uh one of the reasons i

like to give my dad like cool gifts and extras and you know'll get, a gun company will pay me X amount of money plus four guns. I'll have four of these guns laying around. It's like, what am I going to do with four duplicates of something like this? I started with four of these things, these 12-16 shotguns. They're like $2,500 a piece. So, and I was like, oh, these things make good gifts. So like Jeremy would never get one. I'd never give Jeremy one, but I'd give one to everybody around him. So Scott would get a $2,000 gun. My dad would get a thousand dollar gun. Scott would get full body armor. My dad would get like a short barreled rifle. Meanwhile, Jeremy's just over there. This is probably what leads him to steal from me because I I do it on purpose. Because he'll always be like, well, what can

I get? All right, what are you handing stuff out over there? Can I get in on this? You need to start giving him accessories to guns he doesn't have. He's fine with that. He's cool with that. That's his thing. He's a borrower and a collector. He's got so much shit all the time that's borrowed from other people. I don't know if I said it on the show or not, but Josh is the guy who helps me now. He's 21.

A bit on the slow side, I guess. His girlfriend is 40. They had that pregnancy scare recently. She was pregnant but then they had a miscarriage and um i think i think he intimated to my dad that he was gonna try to get her knocked up again it the whole time is of the essence for her so better get moving yeah she's got like eight periods left he's got he's got eight left there are eight fucking eggs left in this prize of a woman

and he thinks one of those is his ticket to success like the whole thing is so bizarre yeah he's playing down syndrome roulette what's her situation like is she like okay here's the thing i am oh she's an aristocrat she's a high class southern belle. Yeah. Her daddy has a plantation. I worked with a girl who got knocked up at 16, I think. But she was really, really smart.

And she came from a fairly well-to-do family. And this guy was a complete goofus. Who knows why she dated him. And they literally, like his parents were like yeah kenny got uh kenny got his ticket punched he's set now and uh they actually ended up getting married and divorced about a year later oh yeah this is the situation where they he didn't really keep up with the child uh support payment That's surprising. Yeah, who knew?

So she dropped him off the other day to come work with me. Because he's 21, but he doesn't have a driver's license. Because when he was 19, he was drunk driving, came upon a drunk driver checkpoint, and decided to Mad Max his way out of it and tried to run from them. And they came and got him. That's great.

So he made it three times worse than it would have been by just like fuck this and yeah he can't drive till like 2047 or something like i don't know when they're gonna give this fool a driver's license i'm shocked they gave him a pistol license like you know i i'm all for for gun rights i mean i am literally for the right to be able to purchase an uzi but i don't know if I'm for Josh's right to have one. He should be written into the law in particular. You know, I mean, when you start. You can't handle a Honda Civic.

You shouldn't get a firearm. Full auto is good, except for Josh. Yeah, yeah. Josh needs a fucking slingshot is what his ass needs, so he doesn't hurt anybody. But, yeah, she dropped him off to work the other day, and I saw and i'm good at sizing people up i really think i am i could look at this lady and tell um i'll be honest remember when we met wings girlfriend that that time uh at yes yes at at new years i think we both knew right away that this is not a good person this person's a uh not a good

she she's not a good influence in our friend's life which girl was this i don't get her name but i remember that she was very cranky that was my big issue with her right like hypothetically if jackie was part of our day that day right she would do her her level best to be like one of the guys you know we're gonna go shoot and we're gonna do whatever um there was a time we were trying a thing i had seen a video on youtube where you could use a um you know the cans that just blow air like you might use them on a computer if you hold them upside down they blow the really cold stuff maybe it's freon or whatever it is uh out of it well

you freeze the car dent and then you hit it with a hot blow dryer and the change in it causes the crease to like pop out. And I, for whatever reason, one day I got into a YouTube thing where I watched six videos about it in a day. And I was like, Wings, I got an idea. Let's try this. So we asked her to get the blow dryer because like Wings doesn't have any hair to speak of. Right. And he didn't know where it was and she just like sat in the car arms folded unhappy like puss on her face unwilling to be

part of the thing and then she gives some bad instructions on how to find it like it's over there pointing to the house and uh he had to go and hunt for it and then just all day kind of a stick in the mud yeah she was a real cunt you could tell she was a real cunt i that's what i took from her that she was just a real uh mouthy bitch that's another uh thing i took from her um she seemed like she was the kind of person who would i imagined and i don't mean to speak ill of wings but i imagined this is the kind of girl who was probably, like, really beating him over the head with a lot of shit when nobody else was around and probably putting a lot of pressure and bullshit on him. Very naggy.

Real naggy. She didn't strike me as, like, the supportive, we can both make each other better type of woman. No. She was more of a hard to please. Yeah, I wanted to be like, if you got somewhere better to fucking be, then get the fuck out of here because nobody wants you here right now. Yeah, I wanted to be like, if you got somewhere better to fucking be, then get the fuck out of here, because nobody wants you here right now.

Like, fuck off. You're acting like you're just like, I have to be here. I feel like Kyle and I are agreeing, although he's got a much sharper edge on his crazy. Yeah, he is. But he spent like three minutes being like, you know, and I got a bit of a vibe.

No, yeah, it was a cunt vibe. Yeah, it was a cunt vibe. Yeah, it was a cunt vibe. It really was, and I bet Wings would agree with me if we could ask him right now. That lady was not nice. I bet Wings right now has gotten, has kind of put all of the bumps in the past. I think that's the one who took his camera away from him

and broke his phone, and he had the whole dispute with. I don't think he's on good terms with this dude if i could be wrong and i kind of want to ask wings about it but i bet the wings of right now is like yeah you know it it wasn't great the whole time but i wish her the best well i don't know wings holds a grudge i i think he might say something like fuck it ho i hope she gets hit with a mag light like you know that that sounds more sounds more like him if I'm trying to put it that way. Yeah, especially the mag light part. But I brought her up because when I saw Josh's girlfriend,

I got a similar feeling. I felt like she was almost a predator because she's 20 years older than this guy, and she's totally got him wrapped up in controlling him, very controlling of him, and he is slow-witted. He's not a bright guy guy and he's easy to manipulate um i don't know she seemed real overrun dassy from making a murderer i didn't watch that um but but but definitely over because i know i know that guy's iq i heard it read like 54 or

something no like something 74 i think okay but quite low. 71. Oh, I remember. I think his overall was like 70 or 71, but in some aspects it was 68. 70 is a really critical number. That's when you're handicapped. I'm certainly no expert to be figuring out what Josh's intelligence

is, but if you made me guess, based on the Howard Stern show and what I've taken from that, Gary DelBatte is like a 125 or something like that. And then you got somebody like high-pitched Eric who's down there. It's 66 the first test, 64 on his second test. Josh is probably like an 80. Oh, that's sad. like an 80.

Oh, that's sad. I mean, it's... The other day... He'll start talking sometimes, and I know that what he's talking about is just a dead-end street. And I want to be able to be like, hey, hey, just stop there. We're not going anywhere with this. But he's done it four times now since I've known him in the last year

and a half or so. But he has this idea for a redneck-based FPS Russia video, and he gives it to me every time he's like oh yeah it'd be great you have you like a redneck fps vid you and you'd have one failure just a hauling ass coming on in there in a big truck turn it in there sideways mud flying big double smoke stacks and he'd be shooting his double 12 gauge off like hell you know and maybe some watermelons would blow up and then an old-timey grandpa with a and i'm just and i'm just like it doesn't sound like a bad video so far it does to me this is what i always

whenever someone gives me a video idea they usually have 15 seconds of idea like dude dude i've got a great idea great idea for video You're gonna love this right like take your car and peel out with it right get the camera low That'll be awesome Like what the fuck that is like a fragment of a thought you just take it from there. Yeah, yeah, you know like gaps Yeah, the flesh it out. I'm a big picture kind of guy Yeah, it's no you're not you're kind of guy you got a real small furniture yeah yeah you could do a slow

bow shot of like peeling out but get this on rocks yeah yeah i'm just you know i'll be sure to upload that so so here's my dilemma about a josh of pain. I got the wheel. I found the wheel. I dug it up. It's back behind me. So here's the dilemma. I think he'll do it. I think we get him on here. I think we could tone it down some so that he's not literally getting a tattoo.

He's not being tased. But maybe the bad things that he would have to do. Let me grab the wheel. Would be like. You make tase such a big deal. Yeah, come on. Taser has to be on there. Or it can just be a surprise. Let me grab the wheel. Would be like... You make Taze such a big deal. Yeah, come on. Taser has to be on there. Or it can just be a surprise.

Let me grab the wheel. I'm thinking he's going to lean more towards eating gross things. Since that's probably more palatable for Josh than getting Tazed. I'm just afraid he's going to be timid. I need him to be enthusiastic and ready. I don't want him to roll across the first eat a snail and be bailing out and have the whole bit not go anywhere. Yeah. I don't want it to be a whole new making a murderer.

Joel Rogan on Fear Factor was like a psychologist talking people into doing things. Cattle pride. But they also had like fifty thousand dollars to win right if they ate all the horse testicles or whatever joe rogan was having them do i like to think 200 for josh is fifty thousand dollars i i hope kyle get this guy nice and broke first yeah he's hard up for money he always is like like i figure i i'd um impregnate his girl right and then he'll really he's he's all over that like i think my dad asked him you know are you are you using some protection he's like well you know we're thinking about trying again it's just disgusting it's it's i feel like someone should stop and tell him that like all right first of all like this kid is like

four times as likely to have down syndrome because of this girl's, first of all, this kid is like four times as likely to have Down Syndrome because of this girl's age. First of all. Second of all, Josh, I don't know if you've noticed or not, but you're a moron. Second of all, Josh, I don't know if you've noticed or not, but your girlfriend, also a moron. You're talking about having a moron.

You're talking about having a moron, baby. And that's best case scenario. Like, you're really picking up here. Yeah, best case scenario is below average. Oh, by the way, Josh, you can't afford your cigarettes every morning. That's what I'm here for. So how are you going to get formula into this baby? Like, how are you going to, like, do you even know where to start on, like, getting its life together?

I mean, you live at home with your parents, man. I want to say these things to him, but it seems like such an offensive thing to do. It feels like I'm sort of shattering his little delusional world, but that's what needs to be done, I feel like. You don't have to be super vicious about it, and like, you maybe, and like, what are you thinking?

Like, you can go into it a little nicer. Well, maybe you can't, but most people could go into it a little nicer and just kind of maybe guide him and make him think it was him think it was his idea where he was like oh what was i thinking i don't know man i because i was talking to him about um you know an abortion and trying to nudge him that way and he just was not about that at all couldn't get him to uh couldn't get him to like go that way i was i was telling him like hey man i'd be fucking i was like there's stairs at my house we there's we i'd have a wreck on the way to the fucking hospital with that chick in my car or something like that we drive into a lake ted

kennedy style i was like you're i wanted to be like you're just sick you're in quicksand brother you want quicksand right now brother and it's up to your mouth and i ain't got but one straw and i ain't sharing you know it's like you're sinking fast dude like literally and met and metaphorically like like you got to stop what are you doing but he's just like nah i think i'll knock up this 40 year old lady even though like both of us could probably put together 800 right now to our name he lives on he's always. And a lot of people live like that. And that's fine. If you, if you want to live paycheck to paycheck and always be broke, maybe that's kind of an adventurous lifestyle for you. That's okay. But fuck, he's already there.

And he's, he's trying to have this kid, which is just going to compound things. You know what I mean? Like this is a guy who lives at home and like his income is me and i pay him like a few hundred dollars a week if he works every day you know he makes ten dollars it sounds perfect for the wheel of pain what you could do so you could leave the more extreme ones on there is that it doesn't just say like two hundred dollars and then taser it'll say like two hundred dollars and then taser and then a little subscript to Taser is like, and you get a watch or something like that. Hey, now that's nice. Yeah, I'll hook him up. He can have this one.

Yeah, we'll do that. So look, here's what I want to preface. You can't have mine. I really want mine. No, I offered because I knew mine wasn't on the table. I say all of that so I can say this. I think the Wheel of Pain is a funny idea. It's a good bit.

But what I'm worried is that I'm going to haul this guy in here who's a little bit pitiful, and we're going to torture him and kind of make fun of him and all that stuff, and it's going to make me look bad and make us all look bad. I don't want to be the guy who's got some pitiful kid on his show. Like, yeah, spin the wheel of pain, dummy.

You're afraid we're going to look like Carly Farina, right? Where we just bring in humans as props for our stuff. Yeah, kind of. Carly is what we'd be doing. More like, you know, I feel like Stern is really good at separating what's happening on the show from himself sometimes. If they've got a retarded guy in a box and he thinks he's going to the moon, it's not Stern shaking the box

and making the vroom vroom noises. He's off to the side going, oh, I don't know about all this. He's got minions to shake the box and tell Gary... Is Kitty willing to tase this guy? Probably. Kitty's always got a release.

She's probably got a taser release that he could sign. So, yeah, I want to do it. In the comments down below or something like that, put some things that you think would be acceptable and fun to do to this guy because he's already quasi-agreed to do a Wheel of Pain. I kind of brought it up and mentioned the Jeremy Wheel of of pain and he sort of said something like you know i can't he intimated that he would be down if i remember correctly i don't remember exactly what he said but i think i can get him to do it and i think it'd be pretty ridiculous but you got to come up some stuff that that you think

would be funny to see him do you know the the bad things we can you know cash kitty and your girlfriend tortured him? Would that be the separation you're looking for? Do you think they'd be any good at it? They don't strike me as cruel enough. What kind of torture are they going to... Slingshot, potato gun. Potato gun seems dangerous.

Close your eyes. Neither one of them could operate the potato gun or a slingshot. I mean, just like you said sterns like if you were the one if you were the one torturing him woody and i could be the ones with plausible deniability like oh kyle you're going you're going crazy here i think you're overestimating the average female's coordination level i bet your wife can't operate a slingshot i bet she'd be all like having a hard time hanging on to the thing and she wouldn't know to like you know secure the projectile right as you're pulling like she'd be all like having a hard time hanging on to the thing and she wouldn't know to like you know secure the

Projectile right as you're pulling like there'd be a mess like girls just aren't good at shit like that you need a man to apply torture At least physical torture you know they have it down pat Lane awake at night you know who to get involved. Heaven forbid one of the items on there is like, get reminded three times to do a thing. You'll be fucked. Make him feel really shitty for no reason four years from now.

There are certain tasks in my house that are just guys' work, right? Like insulate a wall or whatever. That's just not on the table for her to have to do. And in fairness, they're the opposite as well but when she wants that done man she's just like on it on it on it nagging me to have a thing happen that i feel like she could do okay she wanted the downstairs roku to have hbo go that's a thing and you could handle that what's that handle that one i gave her a list of passwords and it was this big thing and she's got these you know crocodile arms that don't reach anything like i can't do it i'm so stuck and i'm just it it sucks it's a horrible job because the um the like little roku remote entering an email address

thing oh i'm very familiar i do all of that that's so that's so that's a job that i've always had it's the tech guy and i'm certainly not the most tech savvy person but i can get your as soon as your internet connection goes down i'm the guy who's actually smart enough to unplug the motherfucker wait five seconds and plug it back in Nobody else has figured that one out around here. That's my go-to. If that doesn't work, the list is over. I've had so many connectivity issues in the past. I've sat on hold so much that I know what the issues are going to be,

and I know how they present themselves. So I can usually figure it out. And I excel at plugging HDMI cords into televisions, which is something that most females are just blown away by. I mean, it's like a Lego block back there. I don't know if they're aware. I think they think that in the back, it looks like the Andy Griffith show when he'd try to call Mount Pilot

and somebody's plugging those wires in and putting them in other places to change channels. It's not like that, ladies. It's not a big deal back there. What was the thing I was gonna say i had a thing you're going on about the josh wheel oh i know yeah yeah so hey yeah we keep talking about this possible like mega live show with wings of redemption up in conway i could bring josh

his ass would come he's always like because because he knows me through jeremy and scott they have regaled him with all these tales of our trips across the country filming and stuff. So he thinks that when you go on a trip with Kyle, you get fucking whores and free Red Bull and everybody gets a blowjob and gets to blow up a house. Because everything he's ever heard about going on a trip with me is that. How disappointed will he be when the free Red Bull

is the only thing that comes through when he gets there in the evening at applebee's getting any tizers that's what's actually going to happen but i could bring josh we could do the fucking wheel of pain you know live there in some hotel room you know pull out the x26 taser and lock him down on the floor he shits himself or something yes can i speak to the manager of this holiday inn are you all right with us using your conference room to torture a semi-retarded person even four hours tops guaranteed that's all i could take yeah is cries after that rocks back and forth uh the hype i don't know yeah and then that'll make the sauce come and so look i'm up for all these things. The knife stuff, is that underway?

That's actually what I'm most psyched for. Those knives were out of stock. I haven't gotten an update on when that gets fixed. But, you know, we were kind of... But I think it's a matter of weeks. It's six weeks and stuff, and these things tend to come back in stock. And I would rather wait six weeks and get my favorite knife.

Yeah, yeah. I thought that was your position, so that's what I told Kitty wait six weeks and get my favorite knife. Yeah, yeah. I thought that was your position, so that's what I told Kitty. So whenever that happens, it happens. But that one's totally out of her hands. And the hot sauce thing is like, I'm ready to pull the trigger. I just want us all to taste this sauce and be sure that everybody's like, yeah, that's pretty fucking good right there. And I think it's a good bit.

I think us tasting the sauce is like, get three or four sauces and see if we like them and get wings input you know him tasting it and seeing what he says i think it'd be a great show um you get us all in a room together and especially if you add the you're right about everything you're right about the bit you're right about the great show i think it'd be cool to have it live i'd love for no one to be pixelated all day long and stuff the only nervousness i have is i haven't set up a lot of live shows before right the one that we've done it just turned out okay in terms of like audio quality and stuff and that was on the survival trip and i didn't do it you know patrick did really so uh i'm like uh i have to figure out some way to record from a camera and get four at least audio sources piped into one sound.

I think it'll be easy when you've got a conference room setting rather than the woods, obviously. That'd be nice. That'll help because there won't be crickets and stuff. Yeah. Yeah, and you'll have a table and you can... We can think about how it can work. I think from a tech standpoint, we can make it happen. The other standpoint is just availability.

Now, my availability is I am gone from the 1st of February to the 8th of February. Other than that, everything is open. I've got three film dates, and I've got a very important meeting I have to attend that's kind of non-negotiable, but those things are all floating around. So the week after that, you're open? Yeah, yeah. As far as I know right now. Now, there's some other stuff that could pop up,

but what I'd like to do is find the time in U2's schedule that you're both like, Oh, yeah, Wednesday the 17th or whatever the fuck here's the thing i own my own time mostly and i can usually work around stuff now at woody craft we tend to be busier on the weekends and we tend to do something every weekend to make people want to come play like double mcmo or a new crate or something you know like mostly friday through sunday we try to do shit that makes the server extra interesting. So it's better for me if it's not a weekend, not a showstopper,

but I'd rather any weekday and I can pretty much work with it. I would prefer that as well. Are there going to be weekdays that you are free, Taylor? I can check and try and make something work. All right. See what you can do in mid and make something work. All right. Yeah, see what you can do in mid-February. Let's see what...

If it's a month out, Kyle, I think it... I'm fine with that. It warrants locking it in, right? I don't know. Yeah, I agree. I agree 100%. If we got to go a month ahead to make sure that some of my shit isn't going to jump up or something, someone else isn't going to.

Then your shit can just be like, oh, no, no, no. That has to be one week out. Because for those listening along that maybe you're not piecing this together, I'm talking about flying Taylor in to South Carolina. Woody drives down from North Carolina. I drive up from Georgia with my special friend in tow. We hook up Wings of Redemption, do our hot sauce photography, do our gun trading, maybe go out and shoot or something, and then retire back to, I think, a conference room at a Holiday Inn is the way to go because you've got your own private room.

There's bathrooms. There's facilities. There's hookups for internet power and everything there, and you've got privacy. It's like $100 or something. I think that's the way to go, but something like that because I feel like hooking up at wings houses you're just asking for a disaster you got like people stumbling in there and dogs barking and roosters crowing and yeah yeah there's gonna be one issue that that happens at wings houses is there always someone in the wings universe that doesn't what i think of is like respect the show you know like i I might have Jackie Hope just now brought me a coffee, right? Sheepishly off camera hands, it slides out backwards.

That's one thing. That's how people are at my house. Like, you can't tell because they're respectful, but four different times people have walked up and down loud stairs, 20 feet over that way. But they hear, they know what we're doing

they creep around at wings house they just kind of like stumble in picking land out of their belly butt yeah talking to each other yeah you know like open invite anyone ever wants to hop on pka you just grab a seat in the corner and start screaming across the room to the mic yeah come on in here crook you got some you got a new line of work boots you promoting, right? Come on in here. Get your plug in. Sometimes it's funny. For one reason, a photography session for a Civil War uniform just started happening behind him. If I remember correctly, he was wearing his Marine Corps uniform or Army uniform, or someone else's was wearing someone else's.

It was bizarre. I hope I'm right because I thought it was a Civil War uniform. I didn't think it was. I thought it was like a modern uniform that someone was wearing that wasn't even their uniform. I thought that it was his brother's uniform because I know he served, but someone else was putting it on for some odd reason. That seems more likely, but I hope it i hope it was a civil war civil war

reenactment because that's funnier that is funnier yeah yeah they're out there we're gonna get them this time i like to imagine that when they do the uh when the sons of confederate veterans put on their like civil war reenactments they always make sure the south wins the battles even if it's not historically accurate do they really they set it up so they it's just like my nhl 15 season right now where like i'm just living in the fantasy of like yeah blues 25 and oh this is the year when it's like then i go back and check it's like oh like no how are the how are the flyers doing right now flyers are playing right now i have the nhl score up looks like did i win the bet last time live on pka do you remember we talked about it and the hurricanes were up but ah god you know

this sounds so familiar but i can't i think i've won and you let it slide i i you know it's hearsay you know do i need to look it up or you just want to admit you lost? No, you won. Okay. Now, what was the bet? What were the stakes on that bet? Something about singing maybe? No, that was established earlier. I said I will not sing.

Okay. Then what were the – I was saying you can pick what I drink the next drinking episode. Oh, well, that's awesome. All right. I'll have to keep that locked in. I have a topic. Should we do the ad or the topic?

Go ahead with the topic. All right. I have it all queued up here. Bam. I hope this is interesting to people, but it was interesting to me. So this video is going to autoplay, and I'll need you to stop it and roll it back. I'm there. Taylor, are you ready also?

I'm there. Okay. Ready, set, play. A new report out by the University of Michigan Transportation Research Institute, that's a mouthful, says young adults are ditching driver's licenses at a rapid pace. Just over three in four people ages 20 to 24 years old had a driver's license in 2014. That's down from 82 percent in 2008. Is this a troubling trend for the automakers? Oh yeah, big time. So the whole question here is, is this related to economic

factors such as younger people just don't have the money to buy a car? You know, the job market for recent college grads is still pretty weak. Or is something sort of fundamental changing here? And it's probably a combination of both. But cars just don't appeal to young people the way they did 20, 30 years ago when, you know, 50-year-olds like me couldn't wait to get their driving. You had your own set of wheels. How many, back in the 70s and 80s, how many 16-year-olds went to the DMV on their birthday, on their 16th birthday, because they just were dying to get that? So what, you know, so we know what some of these trends are.

More people live in cities now, including more young people. It's hard to have a cost. It says something interesting about the Internet in the second half. Ride sharing, such as we've been talking about, Uber and Lyft, you can get around with a car without owning one. Don't forget about Zipcar. That is something a lot of people who live in cities take advantage of. So where do the automakers fit into this? They have to figure out how to stay relevant if car sales go down sort of permanently in the future. Yeah, I mean, what do you think it is with the millennials? They're not into having their own

car, I guess. It's not a prestigious thing anymore. It's not the same thing. Well, it used to be that a car represented your independence. You were an adult. It represented a social life because you could go somewhere. Maybe you would go to the mall and you would spend more. Retailers have suffered from this phenomenon. And now the truth is we have so much going on with technology. They can have a whole social life sitting at home just on their computers and more often their mobile phones,

socializing with their friends. They don't feel the need to leave and go and see people in person. They're already communicating with each other. By the way, it's not stupid. I mean, cars are really expensive. I mean, everybody looks at what's the monthly payment going to be. They can drain your wallet. Even if you get a deal on the car, you have insurance, you have maintenance, and you have gas. You know, all those things can double the cost of a car on a monthly basis.

So still, if you're under 26, right, the insurance companies look at you when you get that higher premium because you're under 26. Now, there's also a notable increase in seniors who are obtaining a driving license. I'm a little worried about that one. Can we pause it here? What is behind that trend? I thought it was kind of interesting. So, like, I think a lot of people watching this show are in their late teens, early 20s. I feel like that's roughly where we hit.

And for you watching this, if that's you, back in my day, imagine it being like yours without the internet. If you didn't have a car, all you had was a bicycle to sort of explore your world. So you're stuck, pretty much trapped at home with no internet, and that's your life. And then the car, on the other hand, opens all the doors. With the car you can see your friends, you can do your things. There's these social gatherings. We had parties every Friday night in sand parking lots and stuff like that, deep in the woods.

You needed a car to go. Or if you didn't have a car to go, you were kind of, I don't know, a tag along, dependent on someone else to take you there. Which is okay if you were like true buds, but sometimes you were a hanger on to someone who had a car and you only hang out with them for his car. The whole thing that resonated with me here that I see, I don't want to make this about my daughter, but I see in her a little bit and young people in general,

this notion that your social life isn't dead from home really made sense to me. Like there's video conferencing on Skype. There's video games. If you're a console player, there's like the Xbox Live chat. On woodycraft.net, I see people have like rich social interactions with all woodycraft.net. I see people have rich social interactions with all the other guys on it.

They get no pussy. You can't fuck that Minecraft character. Look, I don't get this thing. This thing doesn't make sense to me. Here's why. It's pussy. It's all about pussy. You can get all that other stuff. Your Farmville can be going crazy. I don't know if that's probably dated at this point.

Your social, your internet life can be killing it, but you're not getting any pussy. But that's what a car allows you to do. A car allows you to go get the girl and then take her to a third location where you can fuck her when you're still 16 years old. So I love that I heard them in there kind of laughing. They were like, you know,

these people who are 50 or 60 years old in there kind of laughing they were like you know these people who are 50 or 60 years old now i remember when they were 16 they were there that day they turned it wasn't that long ago that's not really bull because it was just one of us to that age and i remember uh i turned 16 on a sunday and i was so bummed because i couldn't go get it and that monday i skipped school so i could get my license immediately. It wasn't something of a fucking square driving around. You needed that to be social.

I hate when people use that technique. There's this ad that plays on Sirius XM on the Stern Show and it goes like this. The guy says, Hey, remember back in the day when you had to wash things by hand like dishes or your clothes? Now, that's really going back, right?

Like dishes washing by hand would probably go back to like early 90s or 80s. But washing clothes by hand. No, dishes washing by hand is before my lifetime. Sure, okay. Yeah. But washing your clothes by hand, that's going back to the wash tub days. It's like settlers. He follows that up with.

Native American Indians were doing that. So then he chuckles. He says, remember when you were washing things by hand, like your dishes or your clothes? Or how about this one? Remember when you had to wash your mini CPAP machine by hand? Well, no longer. He's like, wait a minute, wait a minute. Are you comparing washing

your CPAP machine, which is that thing that keeps you from snoring at night, which is sort of a new thing. It's an electronic device. Let's just leave it at that. He's comparing washing that by hand with washing your clothes by hand, and that just pisses me off. I feel like it's so insulting. Remember trying to scrub the smallpox out of your blankets?

Thank you. It's so insulting to my intelligence that I immediately turned that one off, and I hate it. I hate that. And this strike struck me the same way they're like ah you know 50 years ago when you're 16 you really wanted that car but no longer i i feel like maybe in like really urban areas i bet in new york and la sure you turn 16 you're like what's the big rush like the the cost of even owning a car in those places is very prohibitive where you're going to park

that thing in new york you're going to be paying for a parking garage when you're 16? It doesn't work. In New York, that's one area. You get really urban in relatively tiny areas. You get urban enough. Sure, totally. But where I am, if you don't have a car, a 15-year-old version of me,

if I rode my bike for a couple of miles, I could get to a gas station. But it's going to take a while. And these aren't roads that are meant for bicycles. Some of them are fucking dirt roads along the way. It's a mess. You're going to get hit by a car.

There's no sidewalks. It doesn't work. It's like the white line that indicates the shoulder. There's only like five inches to the right of that. We don't have a white line on the road where I grew up. There's I grew up. There is no white line. You know, it's not a place to be riding your bike and going places. But when I turned 16 and got a car, suddenly my mobility went from literally a couple hundred yards to a couple hundred miles. You know what I mean? It was it was life changing. So sure, if you live in a super urban area where you've got all that public transportation and Uber and Lyft and all that stuff is an option.

I saw somebody doing that the other day. We were at a paintball field in Atlanta and somebody had gotten one of those. I think it was Lyft. I think – is that the car? No, it wasn't Lyft. It was the one where you can go rent. Zip. Zip.

Yeah, it was a zip car where you go like rent the car for a couple hours or something basically I suppose. And they had one of those. And that makes sense I guess if you aren't going to need to go anywhere very often don't use cars all the time does it make sense it was so great i had that car and i was like i'm you know anytime you can't even studying for two or three hours and you just want to like decompress but you know you do still live in a house with your mother, your father, and a sibling or two, that can be hard to achieve. But you can hop right in your car, you can drive down to the lake or wherever.

It's just a life-altering experience, and I feel like they're making too much of some statistics that say that. Yeah, I hardly even trust the premise of this. Every one I knew got their license. It's more likely that they can't afford the car than... It's more likely that this age group can't afford a car right now than it is that they don't want. I think that – I don't disagree with what you said. But I think the fact that you can have a social life online is a contributing factor.

I think you're not – taking away the internet now, and this isn't just for kids me too is a serious punishment you know if i didn't have my internet to talk to my friends and in my case professionally as well but it would be a big loss you know i would really hate that but you can stay connected to the world through the internet and i can see why at least in some ways it doesn't get you laid but it it you know it satisfies that social social yeah perfect it's more of a guy thing than a girl thing too i think that guys really want a car more than girls necessarily do because as a as a girl i think it's always easy to get a ride there's always somebody who who is happy to allow you into their vehicle if you're a 16 year old girl i guarantee it if you're pretty but as you're a 16-year-old girl. I guarantee it. But as a 16-year-old guy,

the options aren't as available and definitely not to the point where... I feel like a 16-year-old girl could be like, hey, I'd like to go to the mall today. And there's a whole pile of guys who'd be like, let's go. They'll just fucking take your ass. But if you're a dude and you're on your own

and achieving independence is a driver's license, that's what it was all about yeah i mean like one of my friends waited until he was 17 in a couple months to get his license and all we did was rip on him and give him shit for it yeah or it was like hey you're gonna meet us over at rob's oh oh no you're not because you can't drive yeah i had a friend i'm not gonna come pick you up because you're not, because you can't drive. Yeah, I had a friend. And I'm not going to come pick you up, because you're not a chick. I had a friend who literally could not pass the test, and we were all like, we thought Nick was a reasonably bright fellow, but he can't pass a driver's test. And, you know, it was a real stigma, and it still is as far as I'm concerned.

I saw that motherfucker working at AutoZone the other day, and the first thing that popped in my head was, I wonder if they just award you a driver's license when you turn 25 like because I know this motherfucker didn't pass it he can't even get my oil filter right uh I feel bad you know he was the only one it was him and the people who had like disabilities and stuff you know that didn't have I didn't get my license on my birthday. I desperately wanted it, and I drove illegally well before my birthday consistently. But it was tricky. It had something to do with, like, the school didn't have me take –

you had to have the written exam. You could only get the written test at 17. So in Jersey, it's 17. Most places, it's 15. But you could get it at, like, 16 1⁄2 if you took it at school. So they would, like, replace one of your gym classes with driver's ed and but you had to have the license for like six months so the way that mine was scheduled i didn't like it it was i got it six months after that but it turned out i was like 17 in a month or something i had a driver's and i didn't there

was no driver's ed at my school and so you had to do driver's ed either not at all and just ride around with your parents for the required amount of hours, which nobody ever did. The parents just signed it to get them out of your hair. Or you had to get an independent driver's ed instructor. And that's what my parents did for me. And they were like, all right, you're going to have this guy. He's going to pull up in his weird little car where you get in, and he still has, like, pedals and a mini steering wheel on his side in case you fuck up too bad thank god i get in with this guy on the first time and like 20 minutes into our trip of driving around where he told my parents he's like yeah he's gonna do fine i'll take him out there i do this all the time he's good we'll be back in like two two and a half hours i was like

okay well that's way too long that sucks but just drove around with them and like 20 minutes into it i realized that we were just going on a list of errands for him as he was teaching me to drive he was just like are you gonna take a left here and just pull right into the cvs drive-thru exactly yeah you put this in the tube and it's like are you shitting me dude like i'm parents are paying you to teach me to drive and i'm filling your goddamn heartburn medication i had the same experience yeah absolutely you did the same thing with the, errands. So this guy worked for the school. He was the baseball coach slash driver's ed.

Don't you love those high school slashes? History teacher slash wrestling coach. We had that. Yeah, that was a regular thing. I guess social studies is the easy one to either get accredited for or to teach. I don't know. But they always went for that, usually, if they were going to have to teach a subject. But this guy was baseball, boys baseball slash driver's ed.

And we would be driving along. All right, just make a left into here. All right, now we're going to back into that parking space right there next to the door. All right, I'm going to go in here and get some biscuits. What do y'all want? And it was like, sausage? And he'd come out with biscuits for everybody. Alright, now we're going to go check my mail.

I should have ran by now. Let's go by my house. And we did shit like that. We'd pay bills. We'd drive around and pick supplies up for the baseball team. Sometimes he'd drive and literally it was a trip to go somewhere and get some baseball shit for the team my high school had a couple of those cars where like the the passenger had the pedals and everything and uh dodge and trip it i don't remember ford folk ford um

taurus maybe but uh anyway yeah he just he took us around we didn't do errands or anything he was the gym teacher and he did that too but i couldn't speed you get in trouble for speeding right and the speed limit was 25 so i would like floor it'd be like right i get right to 25 because that was more interesting for me and he's like boy you got a lead foot and i'm like yeah i do that's not a compliment uh but i took it as one for sure i was like yeah well yeah i'm pretty cool it was an auto so it took no talent to just press the pedal down until 25 but uh yeah and i thought i had him on a technicality like well i'm not speeding oh the typical like dumbass teenager who thinks he outsmarted someone. My guy gave me some lip one of the first days because I had the audacity to try to go right on red

because I felt like I was prepared for that at this point where it's like, all right, I'm going to pull up. Now I'm going to go right on a red like you do. And as I was just trying to inch forward through the crosswalk and take the right turn, I was going to be fine. He just slams on his side of the brake, but I'm still kind of accelerating slowly, and so it's like a weird leaning forward on its front wheels

on this old Honda Accord. He's like, what do you think you're doing? This is an old black guy. And I was like, I'm trying to go right on red. It says that I can do that. And he's like, no, you are not ready for that. It was some insurmountable thing of like, alright, a couple more sessions then we'll be going right on it's an advanced technique i had a i had the worst

situation with driver's ed so i don't remember exactly what happened i know it was it was the first period of the day like it was the first class of the day because that's that's why i was in driver's ed when i learned about 9-11 but it was a scenario where either i remember i was definitely asleep when we picked partners. That definitely happened. But there was also something else where I didn't get in with my friends. We had all said we were going to take driver's ed together, but something happened and I didn't make it in. Long story short, my partners were, and I'm 15, of course, which is the proper age to be taking this. age to be taking this. My partners are a 16 year old mentally disabled girl and an 18 year old senior who also doesn't have his driver's license and is all fucked up. He's just got a litany of

issues. He's just a, he's just peculiar, just an odd guy. So I've been driving for a while now as a 15 year old. Like I was always driving for years. You know, even when I was like 10, I'd sit on my dad's lap and he'd let me, you know, turn the wheel and we'd drive around town and stuff like that. So I got this shit down. So when it comes to like, all right, put it in reverse and try to back up. I got that. Like I figured that one out.

I'm a master of reverse at this point. Ronald, Ronald's never done reverse before. Ronald nearly kills us just doing reverse. We got to this intersection once where the road diverged. It literally did this. In the middle is a giant tree. He couldn't decide. He just went, ah! He was headed straight for the tree going 30, 35 miles an hour. The teacher has to hit that emergency brake over there. And I remember, like, I didn't have my seatbelt on, and it throws me into the front seat.

So, like, I'm, like, up between the two of them, and I'm like, what the shit was that? What was that? He's just like, I didn't know left or right. And he's like, left. Why would you go right? That's a parking lot. It's a parking lot! But he was completely unprepared

for that. Driver's Ed was a terrible time. That was one of my least favorite classes. Dude, that was the class that I took most seriously. I was failing like everything my junior year. I was shit at school. Driver's Ed! 98.6 in Driver's Ed.

That was my strongest course. Do you guys remember what you got on the driving test?'s ed that was my strongest course do you guys remember what you got on the driving test yeah that was it 98 wait on the so is driver's ed that is at a school you can get your license through that you don't have to go to like an office like a DMV

so what it was there were two options to get your learner's permit you could take this like 25 question test at the DMV but you had to be 17 or you could take this like 25 question test at the dmv but you had to be 17 or you could take this like 125 question test through the school at 16 and a half and if you took drivers at school like this is like the written portion um that's weird i didn't know jersey was different your final exam yeah it's they make you a little older it makes sense though but your final exam is the state-issued test. I think that was the only grade in the whole thing.

Everyone did well, typically. I failed my permit test when I first went in, where you don't do any driving at all. It's just like 25 questions. And it said there, like, you need to know all the road signs. And I was like 15, obviously. And so I was like, I got it. They're going to show a picture of one that says stop. And I'll go, oh, you need to know all the road signs. And I was, like, 15, obviously. And so I was, like, I got it. Like, they're going to show a picture of one that says stop.

And I'll go, oh, that one says stop. I can tell because I can read it. And then they threw me for a curve when they started showing all the signs and just the geometric shapes, like, all in gray. So it wasn't, like, even red or orange or yellow. It was just, like, well, fuck. What's that trapezoid mean? Is there a railroad? I don't know. Children at play? Yeah, well, fuck. What's that trapezoid mean? Is there a railroad? I don't know.

Children at play? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's like, what is a yellow triangle? And I think that's children at play. And a red one would be yield, you know, like a red and white one. But they'll give you the signs with no words on them, and you're supposed to know them by that.

In Jersey, there were a couple things that you might not know, like how many points do you get for passing a school bus? How many points is the ticket? Three. It's five, I think. It's five. It's pretty hardcore. Yeah, I did that once.

Jersey's hard to drive in. Not only is there winter weather, which is tough, but the road systems are pretty bad. I think that's tied into the winter weather. There's just more potholes. Also, it's a really old state. Like, it's been – I want to be like – it's been densely populated for a long time. So there's all kinds of – you know how you guys have been – or I know Kyle, anyway, has been to Boston, maybe Taylor, too.

Yeah, Taylor's – I was there with you. Like, all the roads, they're not, like, just great grids that make sense and everything's laid out right. It's all like hectic spaghetti guy in a like stage coach first carved out this path and it's just been paved since then it's a wreck jersey's got a lot of stuff that kind of doesn't make sense you know it wasn't planned out by some city planner it just evolved that way i think it's a hard place to drive i think it's hard. They'll expand the road, right? So you've got a one-lane road with an on-ramp.

Then it expands to two. So now the on-ramp is literally like 30 feet long and you've really got to floor it. If you don't have a fast car, it takes a certain driving style. You have to make sure it's clear for like a quarter mile before you enter the highway because the acceleration lane is so tiny. It's more challenging than I think a lot of other states.

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is laughably bad right like the woody's gamer shorts are unique to me because no one else wears that shit that shit was fashionable for like two months back in six years ago if that um it'll be so funny if you had some other like old-fashioned thing that you were still rolling on with like you still had the g gene code jeans or something dude when i first started youtube i wore mandals cape i wore mandals and like everyone started laughing at my mandals like they showed up in a video and i you know i rolled with it it didn't hurt my feelings my like it's not a big part of my sense of self-worth but it was like oh, oh, noted. I guess mandals are bad. No one notified me.

Yeah, they made fun of mine too. Yeah. And a service like trunk.com where you're like, all right, I'd like to look good. I feel like I could look – I'm wearing a button-down shirt today. Why? I don't know. I get good feedback on it. Even Jackie likes it.

Touches me. And I'm just like, yeah, I feel better about myself. get good feedback on it. Even Jackie likes it. Touches me. I'm just like, I feel better about myself. People think nicely about me. It's good to look good. They're super high quality clothes. I know you guys need to get on it, so they'll send you your trunk. I got my trunk last week.

It's a legit trunk. It's probably wider than I can even put my hands on this screen. Just as tall as it is wide, a giant cube full of clothes. And like, it's not shitty quality clothes. It's like, uh,

the guy even asked me like, where do you do most of your shopping? I was just like, Oh, Nordstrom. And he's like, okay, yeah,

we'll send you some, some stuff that you might even find there. And it's, it's so great. You know, the, the clothes are high quality. I kept a pair of jeans,

which are in the other room right now. Cause I'm not wearing jeans right now. Are you wearing pants right now? I'm wearing pajama pants. It's super high quality. I liked it a lot. The way that they included the... The big thing with shipping shit back,

I'm always hesitant about services like that because I'm like, all right, am I going to get a box and then I'm going to cut that box open and now I'm on the box hunt to try and find a way to ship this back? No, it's just you untape the two little pieces of packing tape they do, flip it open, take everything out, try it on, put it back, reflip it, use the tape that they send to reseal it in the same spots, and then they have just a printed out postage information, whatever, just slap that back on there and ship it back.

It was so much easier than I thought it would be. So I'd recommend it. It's a good service. I'm going to do that. They have a questionnaire. I complimented the – we had a wine sponsor. Who were they? Do you guys remember the wine sponsor?

Club W or something? I think you're right. In a similar way, they ask you, like, what do you dress? What do you do? What are you wearing so that, what do you dress? What do you do? What are you wearing? So they can get you close. You know, if you work on the stock market, they're going to recommend different things than whatever. I don't know the opposite of the stock market. So yeah, where do you shop now? They asked Taylor. So they'll figure out your sense of style and then

kind of upgrade it, first start it and new wardrobe you. Yeah. And they give you stuff from a lot of different places. So like when I, I think a lot of men tend to do this, but when I shop, I like to go to one department store. I go to Nordstrom and I get fucking everything done

because I don't want to be traipsing about the mall, like lifting up shirts in H&M and seeing if I like that more. Like I just want it one and done. But with this, like I'm getting clothes that I know they know I like

from that store and then they're giving me like a smattering of other things too that I can kind of sample. So it's nice. Yeah, I'm about to that they know I like from that store, and then they're giving me a smattering of other things too that I can kind of sample. So it's nice. Yeah, I'm about to go on that trip to Colorado so I could use some long-sleeve stuff, I'm sure. Maybe a jacket.

I might just do a jacket, something like that. I need to get on there. Talk to my stylist, Eric. I think he's been emailing me. I look forward to getting back in touch. On the website, there's a part where you can upload a photograph and i uploaded a picture of me like shooting a 500 magnum and there's like a huge fireball coming out of the end it's like an action shot and everything i thought that was funny uh he asked me uh my i spoke to the stylist like i was in the car

just like getting some errands done and uh one of the questions was like where do you shop and then he's like okay what would you describe your style as i'm like i don't know like casual to business casual depending on what i'm doing and he's like all right all right like taking notes like what are you wearing now and i had to like hedge and like excuse myself for it now like well right now i'm wearing uh wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt that says this might tickle with a picture of mr potato head on it but that's not that's not uh what I usually wear. Of course not, Eric. Usually I'd be wearing, my hair's nice and coiffed in a sport coat, but

not right now. So I almost felt shamed a little bit, knowing that he's sitting there with his skinny, nice, expensive jeans, feet up on the desk, judging me. You're like, oh, I got some vintage, you're like picking the cheetahs out of your teeth, Eric. Got some vintage slacks on and

got a cable... Nice cashmere cable knit sweater and a little R-Mountie jacket. Yeah, yeah. And meanwhile, you're just like sweats and baggy shirt. Got a NASCAR shirt on. Jeff Gordon, Rainbow Warrior, baby. He retired, right?

I don't know. I think he did. I think he had his last race he somehow like in nascar i'm not an expert on this but they do something to allow people who weren't going to make the last race like just barely slip in and he did that so all he had to do was win the last race and he could win a whole championship like you, you know, historically, the last race or two, like if you go back a bit, sometimes it didn't even matter. This guy only has to finish the 23rd. They put playoffs in, basically.

Okay. Really? Yeah. So he wasn't killing it. Maybe it was last year. But he managed to make it to the last race. All he had to do was win that. Playoffs doesn't sound right. More of a

postseason. Only the best, only the top drivers make it into the postseason, so then you don't have that big cluttered racetrack full of dummies who can't even get their car painted and shit running in there like Ricky Bobby. I don't watch NASCAR.

I'm not a big fan. It's pretty silly if you ask me. Looking at this standing situation, I just went to ESPN.com and typed in NASCAR. I guess Jeff Gordon is still really good. He's number three. 5,000 racing points or whatever.

I think the season's over. I think. He had one win this year. It's a good season wow is that pretty big around where you are like is your do you have any family members who are nascar fans me my dad isn't my dad is an anti-sports fan he doesn't he thinks sports are silly uh and he always has my dad does too now oh i hate my my dad always has I'm the same way, man. I really don't.

I'm like, this is kind of a big waste of time. Like, I don't fucking care, you know? The dad that raised me, not the one I have now, the dad that raised me liked basketball. He even liked football a little bit, but mostly basketball. He played too. They used to call him the Thunder. And I guess he played a physical brand of basketball and uh i

remember one time some guy who was new to the gym felt like my father wasn't going to be competitive just by sizing him up and uh if i have the story right he like backed him up like with his butt like you know aggressively and then did this scoop shot that he was real successful with. And the other guy got like knocked to the ground. And one of these, like, you felt the thunder. Because he'll bring the wrath of God on you. That's not the dad that I had when he was in his 30s and stuff. We used to go to the basketball court,

and I would play like in one of the unused courts. I could barely throw the ball up to the rim, and he would go in there. And apparently, I don't think he was like in one of the unused courts I was I could barely throw the ball up to the rim and he would go in there and uh apparently I don't think he was like the best at the gym but he was um you know among the better players in his league and then when he qualified for the over 35 league all of a sudden he was like like you know big fish small pond like that was his domain he'd be in the over 35 league like men's league hockey yeah you go into men's league hockey as like a 22 year old and it's like playing against a bunch like 44 year old accountants and you're just tearing shit up like that's what it's like that was me i was like the 44 i'd play against people who were in the ahl which is like the minor leagues

last year right last year he was trying to get into the NHL. Now he's playing against me, and he's just impossible. Like, those guys were worse. We had a few, like, straggly NHLers in the league, but they would tend to be a little older, and they had their perspective together. You know, a lot of the NHL guys would just make the rest of the team so much better. Lightning passes on you. If you pass it to me so hard that it's mistaken for a shot,

I might not receive it properly. But with these guys, all I had to do was put the stick on the ground and they would handle the rest for me. Good players make you look good. Unlike basketball where the best player just makes themselves look great. Imagine you're playing

baseball and you didn't really catch it. You just held your gloves steady enough that they could beam it into your hand that's what playing with nhlers is like you know like you're on first base you're like all right right here no no you handle the rest hit hit it in this part and yeah i'm off camera but yeah that's what they do and they're amazing and it's incredible and then once they slam it on my stick with a 60-mile-an-hour pass, either I have soft enough hands to catch it, or it just kind of deflects four feet in front of me,

and I can assemble it from there. Yeah, or you completely fuck it up, and then you have to skate for a change and pretend there was an equipment issue. Be like, God damn stick. Ever since I switched to carbon fiber, I swear to God. I'm not responsive enough, I swear to God. Responsive enough.

I don't mind doing pick-up hockey, pick-up pretty much any sport other than basketball. I hate when I was with friends in high school at the rec center or whatever, or in college, and it was like, oh, yeah, we just finished working out. Let's all just play some pick-up basketball. I staunchly refused every time i've invited to play pickup basketball because i will make an ass out of myself out there and i look like a fool like i don't know if you guys play basketball at all but i look like a dick i'm right there just air balls

i look like just the worst i'm just bad right and and then in if i'm playing pickup basketball and it's friends or like i used to play at Cisco, there was a stage where I was playing basketball at Cisco and stuff. Oh, the cool thing about playing basketball at Cisco, at least at the time, there would be like a couple actual basketball players. And then a couple like computer programmers who just wanted to stay in shape, like my guys. And then there would be Indians. Now, these guys don't grow up around basketball, right? You have to be like, no, no, no, no, no, no. You have to dribble with one hand.

Like, oh, one hand? You know, you're like, yeah, yeah. You got to dribble one handed. Dribble you. So, like, even though I saw, like, I've talked about this before, but, like, amongst Cisco people, I am an elite athlete. And I enjoyed that a lot yeah just being the biggest fish in a tiny little you know semi-athletic pond yeah that reeks of curry yeah um yeah yeah so so in there but i like as a teenager and stuff we had a basketball court whatever 10 blocks from

my house or something ocean city and uh i'd go down there and I'm bad enough that I'd like, I'd see, I'd be sitting there waiting to play. Right. And I would usually join in when they were short a guy like, all right, it's 5v4. I would hop in. And then some actual basketball player would come up and confidently say like, I got next. And it's like, the ball's on that guy. Like, you know, saying he'd like to play in the next game.

Like, that's kind of some hot shit. You know, I'd like to be invited to the next game. What a coincidence. I got to head home right after this. Yeah, yeah. Gosh darn it. You know, like, ship's passing in the night. Someday I'll get you.

Yeah. I, yeah, I was just, I don't know. I put some hours into basketball too but i you know what i'm a swimmer i would go out i went through phases after school in high school where like i would come home and i would either spend like three hours just uh shooting the puck in the net in the driveway because like it was fun for me to pretend and fool around when I wasn't playing goal try and get a good shot and I enjoyed that and then I'd go through phases where I'd spend like three hours after school being like you know what so many of my friends are good at basketball I just need to get good at one thing if I can get really good at

a layup or a shot or something like I can at least participate and they'll be like hey look at him not useless and just like weeks in of practicing basketball just in my driveway i just had to be like this isn't going to come to you like if i had like a trajectory of of my stats of how many baskets i was flatlining there was no upward there was maybe like a peak of like a really great day shooting like 15 and then all the rest was just shit and it was like what's the point why am i doing this i had a question for you so i saw your ama and someone asked if you could skate uh there's probably and i often hear and you said it yourself that the goalie is the best skater on the team right i have never seen a goalie demonstrate that i've heard it it's like a truism in hockey right goalie is the best skater on the

team and stuff and that's always true in terms of like like in place footwork right you know like a goalie can drop to his knees and stand up really well a goalie can shuffle from side to side certainly better than any other player can go but do you think you were the best like if you were a winger who had to like zip up and catch his center you that best skater too it's it's hard to compare because uh goalie skates are so much different than player skates that you learn to skate a lot differently so as far as kind of like like yeah because in goalie skates you can't demonstrate it goalie skates are i don't know if yours were but the goalies i play with often were super dull right so they couldn't even get

yeah a lot of goalies do that i don't know why they do i think that's usually just laziness because they don't want to deal with having to push harder off their their lead foot if they like slide over and then there's a quick pass back then they switch back like a lot of goalies keep their skates dull i don't know why i never did i kept mine pretty sharp but like the whole difference of like if you're skating with goalie skates because the blades are flat you have to push back so i'm doing that motion to get speed so i'm not going to hit a top speed as like a player could because they're pushing down back like this almost like they're running on the ice whereas i'm skating more laterally in a way so as far as like relative

speed like when i would play on good teams i i could keep up like i was pretty fucking quick i was a good skater certainly the best in a small area because that's what your job is as a goalie and your skates lend it like lend you that ability like you don't have to worry about rocking back and forth and losing your balance it's flat so you're you're good to go there but uh yeah it is like a hockey truism that i wouldn't say is always true there's some goalies out there who are just shit skaters but just make up for it with just natural great reflexes but i'd say most of the time they are good skate they're among the best skaters on the team uh it's just a matter of

their skates being like a hindrance have you used goalie skates before yeah i don't own them though but i've i've played goalie and borrowed equipment yeah like i don't know if you skated enough that it made like a huge difference i mean you've played hockey enough i'm sure everything when i i was terrible at goalie and i didn't realize how bad i would be like it seemed pretty straightforward okay that's a thing that happens yeah yeah i um okay for example uh as a defenseman every so often like maybe the goalie's out of position or something you find yourself playing goalie for four seconds right like all right that guy the guys they just passed across the goalie's on his knees i'm going to handle this open part of the net until he you know sorts himself out um maybe the goalie doesn't have a stick i don't know whatever sometimes you

help if they shoot it at me super hard i can catch it with my stick and just easily like either dump it in a corner or outlet pass right when i'm goalie, all of a sudden I'm holding shit backwards. Like I didn't really dawn on me. Yeah, you have to shoot left-handed if you're a righty. That's a big problem. And you're shooting left-handed and your gloves are not useful gloves, not for handling a stick. You know, I often wondered why.

I felt like an A-league goalie was a C-league at stick handling, right? I didn't know why that was until I played goalie. And then it's, I was just, there isn't really a league for me. I was a non-player with regards to stick handling. Yeah, that's an interesting thing when you play goalie is, like, people either have, like, so much respect for it that, like, when you make a save that's pretty easy, they're like, wow, how'd you do it? Or they completely underestimate it and it happened one point where it was one of my good teams and i was like 16 uh me and the other goalie my backup on our team we both were violently ill with the stomach flu and so i started the game and i got like half a period in i thank god the other team wasn't like super great getting a ton of shots because I was just sitting there like, I'm going to have to stop a shot soon,

and I'm going to shit my pants right in the middle of this ice rink. Oh, and you see it on the ice too. Yeah, it would be horrible. And then the cold there, oh, but I had to like flag down the coach. Yeah, what were you saying? So I see when there's blood on the ice. I've seen the process for cleaning that up, and it's a little gross because they sort of shave up the ice, and it makes like a blood slushy out there.

And then they scoop that away. I've seen that in person. It happened at the game I was at. But to shit the ice. Now that is a much. Now you bleed on the ice so much they got to come out there and clean it up. You're like, yeah. Yeah, I fucking showed him.

Look, they got to clean up what I did to him. But you shit yourself. And there's no tough talk for that. I was reading a Wikipedia article about some old school goalie from the 1950s before the NHL was more than six teams, and apparently he, of course, no mask, he would just

have a bunch of chewing tobacco in his mouth every game and just have a big pile of chew spit right in the front of his crease, and then every so often just spread it around and move it so that defenseman and offenseman on the other team wouldn't want to get up close to them they could fall in all of his chew spit and it was like oh the 50s but uh anyway with that goalie thing like i had to flag down when i knew i was going to be diarrhea-ing all over the place

had to like tell my coach like you pull me right now which is a huge faux pas in hockey you do not tell your coach you need to come out you come out when he tells you to but i just like started skating over there he's like all right get in there do your thing uh adam you get in there he went in by the time i had finished shitting my brains out i come back out and he's like oh thank god taylor you got to get in there he's gonna poop his pants out there and so we switched off for a whole period and a half until eventually my coach was like we got to call a timeout he sent one of our useless defensemen who like he basically was like all right guys this isn't going great but who thinks they can play goalie and one guy was like i i'm pretty sure i can do it like i've watched them do it enough

and so he went in there got dressed in all his goalie stuff of course like skating awkwardly because he can't use the legs right and that was just the catalyst that let the other team see like guys that's not even a goalie. That's just some guy. He doesn't even have a goalie helmet on. He just has the round, regular face mask. Let's light this guy up. And they scored, like, six times on him in, like, a period and a half.

All from, like, outside the blue line. It's like everything will go by. Yeah. Yeah, just so terrible, like, just falling on his knees and knees and then like doing that slide back where suddenly you're on your ass and you're useless. But, yeah, it's like almost satisfying to watch your team lose when it's like that where it's like, see? See what would happen.

When I played goalie, I thought that I would be – so I played a lot of defense. That was often my thing. And I thought that as far as stopping the shots on the ice, I would be at least as good as a defenseman and then recognize that I might not be as good with the blocker and the glove hand. But it turned out I was bad at all of it

because it's totally different. You're holding the stick wrong and you're trying to, the glove hand is nothing like a, whatever a skater's glove is. It's very difficult to handle the stick using it, and it's backwards, and everything is hard. When was the first shot on you that you realized,

like, oh, no, this is the part I thought it was going to be? Warm-ups. I did wear my skates. I've done them more than once. The time I'm thinking of them, I wore my skates, and I could move like I normally could. I wasn't a bad skater, but it more than once. The time I'm thinking of, though, I wore my skates, and I could move like I normally could. Like, I wasn't a bad skater, but it is – yeah. I've worn goalie skates, too, though.

I really have. Anyway, everything's bad. I'm not good at goalie. I'm terrible. I'd love to see Kyle try. That would make my day. I was a fast skater. Like, the opposite of you.

Like, I went up and down the ice at full speed most of the time, and that made me as fast or faster than most of the other players. But in traffic, I never felt like I was slick, you know. We have one rink around here that's Olympic-sized, and that was kind of my thing. Like I didn't even have to outstick handle anyone or whatever. I could just go wide, and that worked well for me yeah i had more of an appreciation for like people who played out when i would play on like the c team like when i was a sophomore in high school uh there was like

a team of like eighth and ninth graders who weren't good enough for jv and somehow i still qualified to be on there as long as i wasn't goalie like i wasn't allowed to play goalie on that team but they're like hey if you want to go play forward and just fuck around you can do it and i was like i can do that that's so easy and so i go out there with my big giant goalie like i wasn't allowed to play goalie on that team but they're like hey if you want to go play forward and just fuck around you can do it and i was like i can do that it's so easy and so i go out there with my big giant goalie skates like an asshole with my my player outfit that i borrowed from sub kid that was way smaller than me so i just looked like a goober and i i just never realized how hard it was to stay on your man and like play defense i just get in like a zone of like i'm gonna catch this pass and I'm going to,

I'm going to shoot on that. I'm going to catch this. Oh, it's going the other way. Oh man, I really fucked up like that. That's my, that goal was my fault.

Like I'm not in position at all. Everybody's looking at me like I'm an ass. That position thing is really tricky. Like there's, you know, sometimes you need to, like if the guy that you're covering is way out of position, you have to read the play and figure out if you should also be out of position

or if you should play that zone. If that guy is out of... You might have a breakout opportunity. Yeah, it's hard. I have an appreciation for that. Sorry, Kyle. What do you have here, Kyle? Do you have a topic?

Oh, it's barely a topic, but sometimes when someone has to shoot a free throw, especially in college games, the students in the background will do something that's very distracting to kind of throw off the guy. I thought this was a really good one. What are they doing? Oh, they're having a baby? Yeah.

That's pretty creative. There's a person born under there and everybody cheers when the person comes out and then he misses it's pretty great think of how much better golf would be if you could do stuff like that totally but i don't know why like if i feel like if tiger woods hadn't been a thing then like the pGA would have taken note of Happy Gilmore and adopted some of the changes that took place in that movie. I feel like that's unlikely. I don't think they would have taken cues from Happy Gilmore.

What's that? There's no way that... I think it might be you. Probably. Yeah, no, I don't think that... What is it? The PGA would be like Happy Gilmore if it wasn't for Tiger holding it back.

Hey, there's this popular movie that rips on our entire viewer base and family. It improves it dramatically. You got people screaming at the tee-offs. You got sponsorships, a little bit of cursing, some fighting, and just knocking the shit out of the ball. I'd watch that.

PGA is so fucking lame. I can't... Golf as a yeah totally like it was interesting to see like tiger woods dominate a sport like i'll watch it you know if if there's a guy who's apparently the best at darts there's ever been of course i'll tune in and watch a great at his thing even if his thing is sort of lame and mediocre but you take him out of there i don't give a shit who's hitting that ball and where it's going and who's women winning money i i don't care back when i played hockey all the time people would be like yeah you know do you play golf like nah i play hockey i'm saving golf for my old age uh yeah there's a lot of really good uh hockey players who become really good golfers after they retire apparently like a bre Brett Hall, you know who that is, I'm sure.

Sure, yeah. He's good at golf, though? I didn't know that. He's on a list of the top 10 best ex-other athlete golfers, which is funny that these other athletes who dominated their own really physically demanding sports can just, in retirement, be like, I'm going to take something else up,

and they just take up the sport that other old men have been doing their whole life. I understand it's hard, but it's just's just god it's so boring and almost like elitist i was at a um a hurricanes game and i think they were i think it was they were down two to one in the series or something like that and it was the first home game so they were going to like even it up or maybe i'm mixing it up but um oh oh i know what it is they split the series in detroit and then they came home so they were either going to be up a game or down a game based on the first home game and this is the

stanley cup playoffs right so this is like the last round for the in the finals and uh we the hurricanes were about to win it was like one minute left in the game, and we were going to be up in the series against Detroit. Now, the Hurricanes at the time were like this sort of regional team, really low payroll, no business being in the playoffs. And Detroit was the juggernaut. There were like seven guys who made the Hall of Fame on that team at that time and uh the hurricanes were about to go ahead bread hole scores with like one minute to go and ties the game and he comes back he sticks his tongue out at his teammates like like how cool is

this and then i swear this part's true He locks eyes with me and enjoys my disappointment. So yeah, I had bought fantastic tickets. I sat right behind the Detroit bench. The most notable thing was throughout the game as it went on, they smelled worse and worse and worse. But I was close enough to be offended by the BO of all these Detroit guys and the Canes ended up losing in like triple or quadruple overtime.

That would be kind of awesome to live in an area like where you are that has a team like the Hurricanes. And I'm sure tickets are so cheap if you want to go see their games and you could just like go see anytime you want it. Like even if you're not a huge Canes fan, you could just constantly be seeing live hockey

and not have to pay an arm and a leg the cheapest of the tickets are probably pretty cheap let's well i'm just looking around i linked a video like a hockey video i think is from a Chicago-Colorado game where this hockey fan is taunting a player who got an injury, and then the fan ends up having something bad happen to him. Dude, the tickets are cheaper than I thought. Like, against New York, which is a more popular team here because a lot of them...

Like transplants? Yeah, transplants. The tickets start at $13. But against Calgary, for example, they start at nine jesus christ starting at nine dollars yeah yeah the highest number here i see is against chicago they start at 23 so yeah well there's chicago has been so successful in recent years that they have new fans everywhere so they just flood arenas it's so obnoxious

when we play Chicago and St. Louis and they just show up there's like one of them for every four of us I've bought the cheapest tickets at where the Hurricanes play I forget the name of the arena and it's scary at the top like it

it's so steep at the very top that like it's almost like a ladder where you want to go down the steps backwards. Put your hands on the thing. Like it catches your attention. I see parents like holding their children's hands because if you were to like hypothetically just fall forward on those steps, you'd fall down like 18 steps or something. Like, like it's like a ladder. Not a trivial amount of steps of concrete steps. Yeah. Yeah. Like if you were walking on a normal stairs and you took like a giant step, you'd go down like three steps, right? You know, something like that. Two, three steps with one giant step. Um, would be like nine like they're just all

vertical steps it's it's like uh kyle remember that scene in lord of the rings where they're trying to climb up uh past minas morgel and then they before they run into she lob and they're having to like climb the stairs like this like it's like that yeah up the stair That's a great movie. I recently re-watched it all. Lord of the Rings. Yeah. I'm due. I watched the extended versions. I have them on DVD, but it's been years.

And so I actually purchased it online. You get all three movies in HD in the extended format for like $40. So I just got it. And they're dramatically longer. So if you're a Lord of the Rings fan who's never seen the extended format for like 40 bucks so i just got it and they're dramatically longer so if you're a lord of the rings fan who's never seen the extended version you're you're missing like almost two hours of new peter jackson lord of the rings content that's actually good and adds to the story quite a bit really fleshes out tracking kyle's media consumption is crazy like like there's so much of it there's He really watches a lot of stuff.

He's like, oh yeah. I stumbled through seven seasons of this show. Wouldn't recommend it. Yeah, I was watching Nurse Jackie. I'm on episode three, season two, since he told me about it. We started at roughly the same time. He's seven seasons in and has it all figured out. He's like, yeah. And in the meantime, I also consumed

about 14 hours of Lord of the Rings and this and that. And it's just like, holy smokes. What I'm working on right now is called the Godfather Epic. So what they did is they took Godfather 1 and 2 and they re-edited both films into one mega film. They added a ton of extra never-before-seen footage. And they edited it chronologically and Godfather wanted to kind of hop around a lot

between the old days in like 1901 America and back in Italy and then back forward again to like mob dealings and it can be a bit confusing and it's an older movie it's a little bit slower paced than some people are and so you can get bored and zone out.

This thing, guess how long it is. It's both movies compiled into one. Two movies compiled into one. Seven hours. See, I feel like I'm using psychology and not logic. I would assume two movies compiled into one would be three hours. It's seven hours. Really? It is 424 minutes long. Would you think it's too long you would all right so so i don't

know so you know there's maybe i was thinking maybe there's a pacing issue like how are you going to get through this thing i definitely knew i wasn't going to watch it all in one sitting so what we did is we watched the first hour and a half in one sitting and that gets you up through the wedding through uh you know the daughter's wedding and we're going to take on another hour and a half tonight probably or something like that but I stay up really late almost every night and then I wake up I'll stay up at 4 or 5am and then I'll get up at 11

sometimes I sleep in day before yesterday it was freezing rain I wasn't going to do shit i slept till like almost one in the afternoon i guess but uh most nights i'm up till like three or four watching uh something or another nurse jackie's been one of the new ones i will like i said that i watched all of that shit there was to watch um but now i'm on the godfather epic it's good i'm getting a fireplace and I'm conscious of the fact that fireplace talk could very well go down with Mike talk and lawnmower talk in that I am very enthusiastic about this and nobody else is.

There's a certain, there's a certain, like that's not all bad. Like Kyle tells stories of him deep frying stuff and I feel like it's parallel to the things I mentioned. There's a lot of people who don't really share his passion for deep frying, but he's so passionate about it. Some decent storytelling there.

I am so – I'll tell you this. I'm 30 times more excited about Fireplace Day than I was Christmas. You know? Like, I didn't really care. Tomorrow I'm supposed to get my fireplace i'm jazzed i've been watching the clock i've been like on craigslist sky my firewood was just delivered during the show wood burning not one of those gas bitch oh i could talk about the options we got there you know i i have a propane gas log set there now but it's expensive to run propane's

pretty pricey and um we were going to get pellets but in this area you can't buy pellets or if you can you just get them at the start of the season and they run out so pellets just haven't really taken over north carolina yet i went to several different places with pellets in mind and they're like this just isn't the place they're like we'll sell you pellets we'd have to special order it because we don't stock them here because no one sells what is a pellet? Oh, I'm sorry. A pellet stove, they take sawdust and kind of just compress them into pellets. And then they can self-feed and self-start.

And it actually seems like a really good system if your locality, I'll say, supports pellets. Mine doesn't. You can't get pellets here. And apparently, North Carolina is like the leading producer of pellets. Perhaps because we have a big furniture industry here and we make sawdust. I just thought of that myself. But they ship them overseas. Wow.

And you can't even get them. It's all that lobbying from Big Pellet. Big Pellet. So pellets just aren't a thing here and we decided to go wood. And I just want to have this wood-burning stove freaking cranking heat and then, like, the HVAC system spreading it around the house. I'm very excited about this. I'm looking forward to, like, burning shit.

I'm huge on burning shit. I'm a big fan of that. And tomorrow is supposed to be Fireplace Day. But tomorrow is also, like, snowy, freezing rain day. And I'm afraid that it's not going to happen yeah that could be perfect it'd be the best time to enjoy your new fireplace but not the best time to install one i'm hoping that they don't cancel it and make me wait and then like next week it's going to be in the 50s where i barely want the thing and it could go horribly install a fireplace like what do they have to do

there's knock out a wall uh well it it's uh it's actually an insert stove right so that it has like the door in the front and stuff like that but the tricky part is they're putting in a lining through the the chimney so they need to go up there sort of drop the lining down and then connect it to the back of the stove so yeah some people wouldn't want to go onto the roof in freezing rain and snow that's a that's a cool little construction project i guess you got going on i thought about doing it myself but like i don't know in some cases there's literally like building permits involved and like yeah you don't want any of that they make it so you don't want to do it plus there's a lot of things i'm comfortable with right i hate plumbing but i'm pretty good with a lot of construction

stuff i'm pretty good with electrical stuff especially with my brother there to answer questions um but i've really never done fire stuff before and i feel like i have an opportunity to mess it up my uh my dad's over there they're starting construction on his little man cave uh at his farm. I don't know how many square feet that's going to be, but he's basically putting in a bathroom, a full bath. Like 1,500-ish, right? It's a good-sized thing. Yeah, I think it's going to be.

He's already got a structure there that he was parking stuff under, so it's a structure. But he's going to flesh it out and make it like a man cave um he's gonna put like a full bath uh washer and dryer in there like a living room area does he still do a lot of it or is he mostly like the foreman on this project um definitely the foreman oh yeah he's got a friend who does construction work like that and uh and he was over there the other day and he was like how much would it cost to do this? And he gave him a good price and so he's not doing any of it.

So for all intents and purposes he's just moving out in a way. A little bit. So the deal is that he hangs out over there for as long as he can until it gets cold at night and a lot of times his buddies will

hang out over there and they'll kind of circle through and um dad's got a got a shop with a car lift and a paint booth and a bunch of a bunch of tools you know air tools and power tools and mechanics tools and so anybody who knows he knows who doesn't have access to that stuff you know you will come over there and use his stuff and borrow tools and stuff so it every day there's at least one or two visitors. And I think the idea is to make like a cool, warm man cave over there that he can just kind of hang out until like 9 or 10 o'clock at night. I think he's going to put a bed in there too, actually.

He might just move out and live over there. Sounds like something's on the rocks and he's like, fuck this, I'm starting my own little one-bedroom apartment. He can have all the benefits of a divorce without the financial deficit. Look, I didn't want to get into it too much, but that's what we're talking about here. He was talking about the cost of a divorce and the cost of just doing something like this. Just building his own place. Light years better by like a factor of 10 or 20 or something like that.

It's much better to just build yourself a man cave than to get a divorce uh but but yeah it's gonna be pretty cool i've got a pool like a full slate eight foot slate pool table right now that's like doing nothing in storage and i got a ping pong table and um there's arcade machines behind me but i got more and i've got i got lots of stuff that i'm not really using right now i've've got like a half a dozen recliner chairs and stuff like that. So I'm going to donate some of that stuff to the cause and make him a cool little room. I'm going to hook him up like an internet entertainment area so that he's got Netflix and Hulu and shit and a TV up on the wall because he's not good. I bet your dad is so excited.

I need a video tour. Even if it's not on YouTube or anything, walk around with your phone and show me what – Yeah, I'll do that. I'd love to see it. Yeah. I got a question. I don't know. Stop me if we just need a new topic.

You have an industrial building. Doing anything with that lately? No, not doing anything with that. I got to get that all sorted out. But it's got... I'm using it for storage right now. It's got tons of stuff in it. That's where I keep my explosives. I've got

400 pounds of explosives in there. And I probably should have said that out loud. That's where he intends to... That's where they're supposed to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're just not for commercial purposes. Yeah, well, I mean, they're my private.

It's my private stock of explosives that I use for fun. Yeah. I'm looking through some of these AMAs. Oh, right, right. I like the one that, all right, so what would stop you from doing the show or make you quit the show? I really like doing this.

I like having a thing to do every week, if nothing else. So, you know, I really can't think of, like, something that would make me stop, you know. Probably the same sorts of things that would make me stop doing a lot of things that are kind of parts of my life right now, like major injuries and, and, you know, people dying and like life changing shit because, you know, I get along really well with Woody and, uh,

and get really, really well with Taylor. And we kind of got a nice flow going here. This thing is pretty easy to do. Uh, most of the like work work is on, uh, Woody's shoulders cause he has to do the upload and render every week. And then having Chiz in place is kind of part of the... If this were a radio show we're doing, he'd be our executive producer, I suppose,

because he books guests, he comes up with... I haven't booked a guest in like six months. Chiz is just carrying the weight on that thing. Yeah, Chiz does all that shit. And so having him there, I think, really helps the longevity of this thing. Because if it were just me and Woody doing this thing, I feel like we wouldn't do as good of a job for one thing. But also I feel like it wouldn't be as much fun. And there'd be a lot more work involved. We get to just be the talent.

Yeah, to some extent, yeah. So, you know, I can't think of anything. I get along well with these guys and I like doing this show. I like the format. I don't even mind that it stretches on into the late hours. We started this one early today.

I like that, actually. But I can't think of anything, really, that would make me stop doing the show other than you know life changing shit that would also make me stop going to the same barber and leave this state like you know if my whole family

dies or something or if I win a billion dollars in the Powerball other than that I really enjoy doing this Powerball wouldn't stop me it would probably have to be it wouldn't stop me. It would probably have to be... It wouldn't stop me either. It'd just be a different show. If my internet presence caused some sort of negative impact on my real life,

that's the kind of thing that would make me just back off. Let's say hypothetically I start working a day job and my whole PKA library is a serious embarrassment to the company. That sort of thing might make me stop my presidential run yeah you know that sort of thing um that's all i've got in my head i enjoy doing the show um yeah it's fun to do and like if i didn't win the powerball i would just i think just like what k Kyle was thinking is we would implement a lot of crazier shit and Every well Daniel Comes up Vanna White's over there pulling the guillotine handle as Jeremy's head comes flying off. We got like a billion dollar. Yeah game We got we're hosting it offshore so that we can have death

on the wheel of pain and shit. Live from Saudi Arabia. See if this infidel can make it out. This one's designed to cause fights. What do you guys find most annoying about each other? I'm not going to do that.

This is a trap. I don't know if we should do this one. Hi, I'm going to ask a question that's intentionally made to drive a wedge between people. Look, everybody's got little faults and faux pas and sometimes we do things that are repetitive

in our speech patterns and stuff. And that can grate on you when you've known a person for so long. I often do this thing where I say something like, regardless, it's like this. You know, little things like that in your speech pattern that you do repetitively can be annoying. So there's stuff like that for everyone in my life that I find annoying. It's like, oh, you're saying that for the 18th time? Like, it's such a cliche. It's like a personal cliche. Like, that's your cliche. I know. It's like,'s how you're saying that for the 18th time like you it's such a cliche it's like a personal cliche like that's your cliche and i know it's like where do they get off where makes me want to whip them yeah that's the whip i like that i think that's funny

yeah i actually don't have wh i still i'm not convinced i don't even not made up have those things in the dictionary. It is. I thought it wasn't. No, yeah. No, maybe you weren't there for that episode, but I was sure that where would not be an acceptable pronunciation. So, like, on PKA, I looked it up, and it is. Really?

Yeah, it's okay also. It just sounds like there's three H's in there. Like, where? Like, H-W-H-H There's only one, I just pronounce it That's all I actually don't have much I don't like about the other guys in the show I do sometimes

Envy Things about you guys Like, oh okay Well whatever, if something Isn't well received on the show the fans might hold me responsible for and not you too and uh um sometimes like a double-edged sword though because you're also seen as that like reaffirms that you're seen as like the head honcho you know there's not a lot of benefit to that second part no you don't you don't get a lot of

you don't get the praise. You just get the blame sometimes. You know, there's never any, it's rare that there's a post where they're like, hey, can we all just take a minute and appreciate that the show, you know, nobody got disconnected tonight. Great job, Woody, for making sure Taylor's internet is good because that's on you. Yeah, yeah, right. You know, if you guys have trouble with your audio, that's on me.

If the topics aren't, you know, if the people don't love the topics, that's on me. If the topics aren't... If people don't love the topics, that's usually on me too. But in my heart, I'm like, oh, but we're all here. I did my best. I don't know. Usually, it's not you guys. It's just I envy not being held responsible for all the shit. You envy our blameless position in a lot of it.

Yeah. Especially, well, I can't even say Kyle even more than me because I really don't get shit either. And neither does Kyle. Every once in a while, Kyle will do something, and they'll be like, do you think this was genuinely mean what he was talking about, Josh? And someone will be like, yeah, like, God, he really is an asshole.

And someone will be like, you know what? That's why I like him. He's honest, like the Trump of... You know, when it comes to stuff like that, I feel like these are mean things. You know, people are too trigger-happy to label you a mean person and that means you're always mean. It's just like, look, I'm not being mean. I'm just taking it in as I see it and analyzing things as I see them.

And clearly this guy is just a real dum-dum. And it's evident not only from having a conversation from him and seeing that it's difficult for him to put words together into sentences and to get his mind across. Like when someone's a little slow like they have a hard time expressing their feelings um and you know conversations are very one-sided it's it's mostly him just kind of reacting to the things i say but also there's the evidence of how he lives his life and stuff so i feel like it's clear if anybody's out there going like that josh guy's just fine i bet he's a bright fellow he's probably all good and kyle's just being mean like no this guy's a real fuck up and sometimes it's's really funny to be mean. Like, to take it to the nth degree

and just be a rascal. Exactly. We were leaving the gas station the other day and there was this little girl by the gas pumps with her father. And she... I'm not good at guessing children's age, but her head came up to about your hip. So, like, I'm gonna

guess she was like a six or seven or maybe an eight year old because you know it's hard to tell with development medium-sized child and she was so fat she had big dumpy ass she thought you were about to say that she was hot and i'm like no kyle pull up pull up Kyle. Well, did Kyle just freeze right there? He did. Yeah, I thought he was about to say, she was maybe six to eight and she was so hot. And I'm like, no, Kyle, no.

Oh no, I lost everybody? Is it me? But wait, I just had Taylor. Shucks. Oh, thank God. That's not private. I'm trying to pull up this. Oh, it was me.

It was my internet. So they'll be back in a second. they'll be back in a second. Taylor's here. Taylor, you see me too? No, I don't see anyone. It still doesn't even show. Can you see me? I used to be able to. I just lost you.

Oh, it should be good now. It just shrunk down to normal size. Oh, wow. Now I see Taylor in like the best quality that I've seen him all night, almost HD quality, looking nice over there, very coiffed. Don't see Woody, though. Are we rolling here? Yeah, I believe we're rolling. I don't see Woody either.

Oh, I know why that is. I don't have my camera on. Anyway, Kyle, you're talking about little girl dumpy butt cheeks. Yeah, so this very, very overweight little girl. And I was driving out of the gas station, and I don't know what possessed me. I really don't. But I just started screaming, or really squealing like a pig. I just looked at her, and the first thing that struck me was to go,

Whee! Whee! And squeal like a pig. was to go, wee! Wee! And squeal like a pig. I did it so loud that she heard me screaming, or she heard the noise, and she looked up at the car, and I just thought

it was the funniest thing of all time. You just started an eating disorder. There is no way that a little girl... Perhaps that'll be a positive change in her life. There is no way. I doubt it. It is no way she like identified that i was squealing like a pig at her through my tinted windows at night and at a loud gas station at all but it seemed like it to my girlfriend she she was she was pretty angry at me but i thought it

was fucking hilarious that kid was so goddamn fat and maybe that is mean it's definitely immature seven i would say seven yeah like seven years old, 140 pounds, something like that. That's when you're old enough that you can start to put the pieces together, though. I don't know if she can hear me. She's from Georgia. She knows the squealing pig sound, and she's gonna be walking in like, man, I can't wait to get my blue slushie. This is gonna be such a great night. Yeah, I can't wait to drown

my sorrows of my awful parents in this blue slushie. And then she just hears your jackass just, wee! Wee! Just right out your fucking window. And she's like, oh, so this is when the curtain snaps back, and this is my first real memory being mocked by this fake Russian speeding out of a gas station. And I'm just shattered. I was cruising. I was in my truck.

No, I can't help it. It is funny, though. I have mean thoughts and mean feelings, but I don't express them in mean ways. It's very rare that I'm mean to a person, that I'm actually mean to them. I might say mean things behind their back because I think it's funny, but it's rare that I actually hurt someone's feelings.

Do you mostly just fantasize about it? Like, thinking about what you would do? So what'll happen is I'll be in a scenario where, like, at some point you're allowed to say some mean shit right like if someone keeps like being bad at their job like like if you keep failing at your end of the of the bargain if you keep doing bad at your job in a service type job or if you keep repeatedly being rude to me in some other scenario, then at some point, the emotional bank account has run dry and it's now time for me to hurl an insult your way. And so I'll be in those scenarios where it's like, all right, one, two.

And I'm just counting the little slights and I'm just waiting for the point where I've got enough ammunition to unload on this person. And usually it doesn't happen. Usually the conversation ends or we move on or I find someone else to help me at home depot or whatever's driving me insane but sometimes like it gets to that level when I can just unload and be cruel and a real son of a bitch and say the things that are on my mind and I love those moments like like cursing the lady out at McDonald's is a perfect example. It was like in one move she took me from zero to ten. But usually it's like

I really hate the lady at Home Depot who says she can help you out with a power drill when she knows she can't. Don't be coming back here if you don't know anything about amperes, bitch. That's an XR. I don't want the 1.5. There's a huge price difference. The battery life and torque are completely different.

Like, you didn't know what you were talking about, and you had me drive down here because you don't know anything about power drills. You pretended like you did. All you can do is read off a fucking box. Congratulations, you're literate. That doesn't make you able to do this job. But, you know, stuff like that could make me really lose my shit.

My dad's the same way. He and I were on... I made a phone call for him the other day and i called and i was asking about these power drills and they transferred me like four times and you know how when we try to prank phone call walmart it'll ring and ring and ring and they'll transfer you back to the front and you keep getting moved around and you're not getting anywhere it was doing that and dad was like i didn't cut somebody out by now i'm like well it's your phone i didn't want to take any liberty he's like he's like feel free and i'm just ready like all right hair trigger now so hoping for something else but i don't think i'm yeah but i i don't think i'm a mean person i i um i hold back all the time i am a smart ass i've always kind of been a smart alec

smart ass smart ass like my my like favorite kind. I've always kind of been a smart aleck, smart ass. My favorite kind of humor is kind of listening to someone else talk and thinking of a, like, that's what she said or some way to twist what they said and make it a little funny spin on it, some little goofy thing like that. So I'm naturally predisposed to be sitting there and just kind of thinking of ways to insult you so whenever I get the opportunity

more than anything as well is just like the being a smart aleck to teachers and people of authority or whatever I can picture you doing that in spades turning the phrase on them or something like that or making oh don't you mean this and that because that word

goes both ways. And, you know, just, just, just being a dick, you know, convincing someone to talk themselves into a hole where they say something dirty or something like that.

I used to do that to teachers where, you know, they ended up talking about cocks or something when we were really talking about chickens and our agriculture class or something. Um, I don't know, I guess, but I,

I've never, I never, I don't think of myself as cruel because I don't take pleasure from hurting someone else's feelings in fact it makes me feel terrible like when I know that like like maybe you've you've said something about someone and then it gets back to them and you never intended it to it was just supposed to be a private thing and you're like ah those were just like private a private moment that I had and I don't even feel that way anymore but now it's gotten back to Bob, and Bob thinks

that of me, and now I feel bad. I get that. I'm not heartless. I would hope you wouldn't enjoy that. That would legitimately make you a sociopath, wouldn't it? Yeah, right. There you go. That's what I'm defending myself against here. It's your accusations of sociopathy.

But if I feel like I'm in the right, if I feel like we're on even, we're both firing at each other, then I love to really get... Low blows are fun. I like saying some awful, mean, nasty shit to people and really hurting their feelings.

I enjoy that. You know, if it's a fair fight. There's one here for me. Woody, you seem okay with knowing where you live. Your family and your wealth, most people such as Kyle and Taylor don't want that info out there. What makes you okay with everyone knowing a bunch of personal info about you? Well, to some, part of it, I just feel like it's unavoidable like if there was a really private version of me on the internet it would be totally uninteresting right like oh this is only the

things I'm willing to let you know like it what's interesting about me I feel like is sort of a realness or a connectedness or whatever if I were to hide most of me from you, you wouldn't be interested in the part I shared. So to some extent, it's unavoidable. I talk about what I'm excited about. I remember when I was buying this house, I hadn't even made an offer and people found it yet. People found out where I was going to go

just because if I didn't share the things... You described it too well on yeah i remember when you did it i was like oh now you've done it well i also wasn't trying not to you know you described the fountain i remember um initially it was when you described the fountain on that house you were looking at you're like yeah the long driveway and then this this and that and it's shaped like an l and there's a fountain and it's on an island and I'm like you've done it you've done yourself in a bunch of sycophants on Google Earth frantically scrolling but I wasn't like

yeah like I wasn't trying to make that not happen either you know I wasn't trying to have a hidden location I didn't do anything special to keep the house out of my name or things like that I it was just like this is going to get out because even if they don't know before I live here, I'm not gonna like

So like do what Kyle does for example, which is like stay in one location all the time So no one can identify your house by what they're seeing right here You know the the view that I have into there is that I to me I just feel like I have to have a view into my life to be interesting at all and therefore stop trying to hide it i feel like one of the fears for that i would have one of the things that like um so because you're so if you're if you're that open and outward with it like if you ever go on one of those disney cruises everybody knows you're out of town now everybody knows where you live and we know we know not only like what guns you have but where you keep them and you you keep them. And we'll know where the dogs are.

It's weird being that open with people, especially in my case. I don't want anybody coming and robbing me of the... I've got a lot of expensive stuff. There's lots of stuff. There's just stuff everywhere. The other thing is know don't want anybody messing with my family or you know annoying them or anything and i just like my privacy you know i don't i wouldn't want to have to somebody coming and bothering me like i like to be able to take

a piss in my yard if i want to i don't like it it would take a high level of effort for me to filter at a level that you do easily you know you don't give clues about things you don't want people to know about whereas i would let it slip yeah that's part of the endearing nature of why your channel got successful in the first place though is because people liked feeling like they were almost on the trip with you like when you started trending up with the success it was like people knew the family. So it was like, all right, I'm following along. I feel like I'm more involved, even though I'm really not. It's easier to get invested. I feel like with letting stuff slip, there's a part of my brain

where I can be like, okay, this information is classified and it'll never slip in casual conversation ever. I can just kind of put a mental highlighter on something and it's like, oh yeah, don't say that. That's a real giveaway about where you live or how you conceal where you live. And there are people who think that they have addresses that are tied to my name. And sure, there are addresses that are attached to me, but they're not the ones that I live at. It might be a place where I own some property. It might be somewhere where a family member owns some property. You might be able to look that up. But there's just no records of where

my home is and I've made sure of that. I feel like my list of top secret stuff can't have that many items. I've got a couple that I've got in my head right now. But if I were to include everything so that it wouldn't give away where I live or I don't know, relationship stuff or whatever, if I were to filter that much,

I don't know. I don't have that much room in my filter. Yeah. There's a couple top secret items in there. Yeah, I like not being able to... Well, I used to. Did I mention that it seemed that someone had rummaged through my girlfriend's wallet in her car in the yard?

Oh, that's creepy. Yeah, very very odd so like once as always i don't get too descriptive about where i live but i have a long driveway it's kind of it's pretty nondescript and uh you know once you go once you get to the house like it would be real difficult to get away without us watching you slowly do it it's that kind of deal um but but apparently kitty said that that hurt said that Dak was freaking out one night at like two or three in the morning and she thought someone was outside. And I'm like, why didn't you come fucking tell me? And then my girlfriend was saying that she went outside and

her wallet was sort of dissected, if you will, like in the front seat of her car, you know, everything pulled out and lying there. So nothing stolen. And then, you know, in my truck, I've got like my, I've got a handgun or two sitting there, and there's maybe $200 worth of cash sitting right there on the console, kind of wadded up and stuff. And, you know, there's stuff in there, but none of that's taken, which is bizarre. So I'm kind of half hesitant to even believe that anything happened, but I have taken steps to, to, um, you know, deal with that.

So, so I've got a, a way to notify me now if, if someone were to come in the yard and I've got my, got my weapon ready to roll. So we'll see. I got a question. I like this one.

This, I feel like this AMA is better than average. Maybe there's a couple of gems in here, but, um, Hey guys, does everyone eventually hate their job? is better than average. There's a couple gems in here. Hey guys, does everyone eventually hate their job? It seems like every professional I interact with doesn't enjoy what they do for a living. I think a lot of people do,

but I think maybe the trick would be to have a multi... There's different kinds of jobs. If you're a carpenter, I feel like that's a job where you get to, depending on what kind of carpenter you are. But let's say you're a contractor. That's a better one. You're always traveling around doing different stuff. So it's never the same thing.

It's not as monotonous. It really depends on the job. If you're a guy who hits the same hammer every day, who swings the same hammer all day every day, of course you're going to hate your job. The guy who makes donuts, he hates his job, they say. And the gynecologist, eventually he hates his job too. But I feel like me and you and this thing that we do changes up so much. One week,

a little part of the percentage of income comes from hot sauce. And then the next week, it comes from selling some swords on Minecraft. And then the next week, it comes from this podcast. And we're always doing so many different things. I don't hate this I really love this it's always different and changing and there's so much to do I don't know I feel like um for example running Woodycraft is one of my favorite jobs I've ever had but sometimes I'm just okay with it like I you know if it gets me up at night I actually don't want to do it that's a thing sometimes sometimes I'm just okay with it. Like, you know, if it gets me up at night, I actually don't want to do it. That's a thing sometimes. Sometimes I'll – this has happened a bunch lately.

I'll work at it. It's like go, go, go, go, go. And then I'm happy that I'm done. I'm ready to break away. And then it has to pull me back. You know, some asshole DDoSed us or something. And it's like, oh, really? I was just about to decompress.

But I feel like if you do a job long enough, it's almost like the best you can hope for is to be okay with it, to be fine. It's rarely going to be your favorite thing to do. They say like, oh oh you do what you love and every day's a vacation or you'll never work a day in your life that's what it is um yeah fuck off no yeah a bunch of bullshit yeah i guarantee you even tom cruise is like fucking acting i get depressed like just thinking about it sometimes like when i talk to people who

say that they really love their job but it's not not like someone like Kyle or Woody where it's like, man, I love my job. I get to go out and shoot guns or like, you know, I run the best Minecraft server in the multiverse or whatever. It's like, oh, man, yeah, I've been the regional HR supervisor for like eight years. And, man, I love coming into work every day. Like it's a dream. And like talking to people like that, it's almost like, oh, my God, like am i gonna am i gonna be you someday am i gonna be someone right now who has the audacity to lie to someone who knows better like you're trying to convince yourself right now stop fooling me stop saying you're you know reading uh job applications and resumes from a bunch of

unqualified communications majors is what you want to do day in and day out like doesn't that almost makes me more depressed is like seeing people who have finally given up on the, I want to be doing something of my dreams and they just convince themselves that what they're doing is their dream job. If that makes any sense, maybe I articulated that poorly. No, I think you articulated really well. And I, this, um, what I was, I had a video idea. I haven't talked about it yet. I might still do it even though I'm about to. But a lot of times people in this wonderful position, right? Like say Tom Cruise or whatever, will be like, just pursue your dream.

Go at it doggedly and then refuse to be denied. And then you'll do, that's what I did and it worked well. Yeah, well, a lot of times those people have like a certain survivor bias you know and i don't because i've in my heart anyway i've lived both jobs right i've done the two decades in it and i've also done the half decade on youtube and it like i fully get that like you know if you just like oh I'm gonna keep making videos and I won't be denied yeah you might be you know there's a very real chance that you can't have what you think you want and so I don't always know how to advise

someone who says you know I want to be president of the man of America no well maybe realize that's not your lot in life and apply down at the subway. Start small. So, yeah, I don't know. This like survivor bias where whatever, some guy with the dream job, the lead guitarist for Aerosmith,

whatever, it's an old band. Really got your finger on the pulse. artist for Aerosmith, whatever. It's an old band. Yeah. You really got your finger on the pulse. You know, the trumpet for some 1920s swing band. But yeah, it's just like, you know, not everyone is going to be that guy. Not everyone is going to be, you know, in a boy band or whatever. And you can't just not refuse to lose and assume you won't. And the advice you get from people with survivor bias is sometimes bad because they think it's more possible than it is.

But then again, giving up right away is a tricky thing too. Does everyone eventually hate their job? I think very few people find their job as their favorite thing that they wish they were doing. Even if your job is awesome, there'll be days where you wish you could Netflix instead. See another one. Well, I'm going to watch The Revenant this week. I want to be able to voice my opinions on this thing.

Bring your caffeine. What's that? Bring your caffeine so you stay up. Bring your caffeine. See, stay up. I don't have that problem in movies. So I'm going to check out The Revenant. I almost felt like I should watch Will Smith's concussion movie just so I could be fully informed when I said that he didn't deserve an Oscar. You should know going in.

It's Will Smith. Come on. But I really hope Leo wins this thing. I feel like the internet would just explode. I feel like everybody would be real happy. There'd be lots of cool memes. I'd like to see that happen for him. I want to go see this thing. See what the deal is though.

See if it's any good or not. I'm wondering what other movies there are out there. I still haven't seen Hateful Eight. Ah, yeah. Or Star Wars. Shit. there are out there that i still haven't seen hateful eight ah yeah um that was star wars i'm shit i'm not into star wars like i just don't care you know i've so people my age like had a huge star wars experience with the the first trilogy and it's just embedded into them that they almost have to see the rest of it right

where you've watched seven seasons at this point you need to keep going but it's interesting to me i see these guys i interact with a lot of young people because of my minecraft server and a lot of them don't give a shit about star wars like to me it's the most valuable movie property to have ever existed. But to teenagers, there's just too many gaps. Don't care. Well, I'm not sure what are the movies I want to see this season. I saw that. Super Sidesquad? Yeah.

Well, that's coming up in a while. That'll be okay. I watched the teaser for it. That'll really help. No, it's not. You're not thinking of Daredevil, are you? It's not rated R. Deadpool is rated R.

That's the one I'm trying to say. My mistake. Oh, really? Oh, okay. God damn it. Yeah, it's PG-13, man. It'll be good. It looked entertaining.

That's what I'd say about the preview. It looked entertaining. That's what I'd say about the preview. It looked entertaining. It didn't look like a great film. But I'm interested in several of the characters. I'm going to watch it, but no. Unfortunately, it's not rated R. The movies that are rated R

that I'm excited about are Deadpool and apparently Alien Covenant that Ridley Scott is going to make. I think Ridley's making this one. I'm way more excited for Deadpool knowing that it's rated R now. You see the marketing campaign where they're making it look like a romantic comedy, romantic drama type movie? Oh, yeah. Melissa saw that poster and was joking we should go see it

for our Valentine's Day. Valentine's. Yeah, man, that's pretty funny. I like that. I'm going to watch that for sure. I hope it makes some money. It's weird, though, because it's another one of those properties that's technically still a Sony thing, and Marvel doesn't really own them,

like Spider-Man and the X-Men. So with Spider-Man, I think they're doing... They came up with some kind of agreement. We talked about it months ago when it happened. So the Spider-Man, even though he's a Sony property, could appear in Sony films. And I think maybe they're going to get some of the Marvel characters to hop over in the Spider-Man movies that are made by Fox. But I don't know if you're going to have any luck like that with Deadpool. I can't imagine Deadpool appearing alongside Captain America.

I'm surprised there aren't new superheroes. I feel like everything is old. Now, to me, Deadpool's newer. What was it, from the 90s or something? It's not as old as some of the other stuff. But Superman, Batman, Joker, the whole Iron Man, most of the Marvel Universe, the X-Men that stuff seems like it's been around

for so long it has, yeah since like World War II Captain America, right? it's really old I think we're seeing the new stuff in the form of graphic novels though stuff like Sin City and stuff like that

why is it taking so long for new things? I feel like the theater should be filled with new things. So, for example, Guardians of the Galaxy. God, I hope I'm right on this. I'm not a guru. But Guardians of the Galaxy is a fairly old property, right? But it's new. I thought it was new.

I'm not very interested in that. It's new to me. I didn't know anything about guardians of the galaxy prior to the movie coming out can you guys grip and yeah i'm looking it up i'd watch the cartoons you watch the cartoons for guardians of the galaxy not well they appear in the um avengers cartoons like they're part of the same universe with the Avengers in Marvel and that'll eventually happen whenever they get to

the what is it phase four or is it phase three when it so the next movie is Civil War you know where with Captain America versus Iron Man but after that will be the you know when all the Genesis stones come together, and they said how many different Marvel characters were going to appear in those two movies, and it was like 50 or 60 or 80 or something crazy like that, so that'll be a big blowout crazy thing. I could be mistaken, but I was pointing at Guardians of the Galaxy because I thought it was old, and it was wildly successful but to me it had

like it didn't have any built in interest they had to start from scratch and I think a lot of people didn't know anything about Guardians of the Galaxy before they saw the film I don't think there were a lot of guys who just loved the comic for ages

I think the bulk of the audience was entering it fresh which tells me you can enter fresh. You know, I loved Watchmen. It was rated R, so it wasn't going to be a huge commercial hit. But those people, while I know that the graphic novel or comic book that it was based off wasn't new, I had no background in it, and I still had a lot of interest. I feel like people will accept a new superhero,

and you don't have to just keep doing like Wonder Woman and the Avengers. Who would your new superhero be? You got to make one up. What would he do? I don't know. But I'd start with he'd be medium powered. You know, I feel like Daredevil's too weak. All he really does is see in a different way and he's wildly athletic.

He's like a – what can he lift? Like one side of a car that's within the realm of regular humans. He's one of the only superheroes who I'd rather be a normal guy than him. You know? Yeah, yeah. So you got The Punisher coming out on Netflix soon-ish. I think that'll be good. It's got that guy from Walking Dead playing, you know, The Punisher.

I think that'll be cool. Which guy from Walking Dead? Daredevil? No. The guy who shaved his head, who, like, turned crazy. The one who was fucking Rick's wife. Shane. Oh, that guy.

Interesting. Yeah, Shane. Okay. Yeah, he's going to be The Punisher. And I hope it's cut from the same cloth as Daredevil. It's nice and dark and gritty. Daredevil's probably the most violent thing that Marvel has done, including the movies.

Like, Daredevil's more violent than those movies, than the Avengers. Those things are pretty cleaned up. There's no blood. If something does bleed, it bleeds oil or green goo. But, you know, Daredevil, he's huffing and puffing, beating Chinaman down with his bare hands. it bleeds oil or green goo but you know daredevil he's huffing and puffing beating it beating chinaman down with his bare hands daredevil i i liked it less than it seems the rest of the world did it's another one of my unpopular i still think it's because you didn't watch it like

get into the the feel of it and go with the momentum it might be i i like it's an hour long and it's not like tv hour long which is really 40 minutes it's an hour long and it's not like TV hour long, which is really 40 minutes. It's an hour long. And, you know, I was watching it with my wife. So, you know, she wasn't really like we hit the bed at 11 p.m. And I'm for me, I'm like, let's watch four of them. She's like, no, that's how I do it. Like my girlfriend has to she takes caffeine pills because she knows I like to stay up late.

And we have certain series that we watch together. And then we have series that I fall back to when she's not around. So like Nurse Jackie, we always watch together so we can stay on the same page. But The Office, I'm in a continuous rotation of re-watching The Office. You're really a consumption. I could never keep up with it. It really is impressive. I've seen The Office so, so, so many times.

I think that's one of the reasons I enjoyed the clip show from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia so much is because I've literally seen every episode of that show a minimum of three times. Some of them I've seen maybe eight, nine, ten times. The gang, the one where they fight for the troops of three times and some of them i've seen maybe eight nine ten times you know the gang uh uh you know the one where they fight for the troops and they're the uh the uh the eagle men or whatever and they're all dressed up like like birds the chicken and then eagle men fighting and killing

and then they had this whole verse about like protecting their eggs in the nest and it, you know, I've seen all those things like multiple, multiple, multiple times. The office, I think I like to go back to because you know how you like you smell a smell and it takes you back to a memory. Like the office was really cool for me in a time in my life where I was real sad. I don't remember what was going on, but like I was all bummed out and I discovered the office. And it was before it was on streaming. Can I ask a question? Huh? Is the truth that you did know what was going on, but I was all bummed out, and I discovered The Office. It was before it was on streaming. Can I ask a question? Huh? Is the truth that you did know what was going on, and you don't want to say it?

No. I don't know what's going on. Just wondering. Did I just see his filter in effect? No. I just remember being bummed out. It might have been a breakup, or it might have been a big poker loss. I remember this one time I was real bummed out because I lost a lot of money in poker one night.

Was it to me at the paintball trip? No, that six-pack at Ducati was all yours. Everyone put in $20. Oh, okay. And I walked away with everybody's 20s. Yeah, you are not good at gambling. He made money. Yeah, I know.

What was I saying? Oh, but i just remember like i had the deal where you got three dvds out at once but they'd only put like i don't remember i think it was two d two episodes per disc so you'd get like six episodes of the office at a time and then wait like two or three days to get the rest and so that's how how I was introduced to it, like given a little at a time, like just enough to really get into the flow of it. And, you know, I'm sure you all know the theme song. Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. Dude, when I hear that, I have a chemical reaction to it.

It's so comforting to me. It's like smelling mom's apple pie if my mom made apple pie. Pavlov's dog. Yeah, yeah. Like when I hear that, there's definitely some brain chemistry that happens that is comforting, makes me feel good, and de-stresses me and all that stuff.

I re-watch The Office every two months. I feel that way with Seinfeld. I know what you mean with shows like that. I've seen every episode of Seinfeld at least once. Most of them I've seen twice. Some that. I've seen every episode of Seinfeld at least once. Most of them I've seen twice. And some of them I've seen three or four times.

I've seen all the TV shows there are to see, I think. I usually don't want to see something I've seen already. I like getting the... Even now, when I go back and watch It's Always Sunny, I'll pick up a little joke. There's all these little jokes in the background. And I remember there's an episode called Matt Kills His Dad, I'll pick up a little joke. There's all these little jokes in the background. And like, I remember there's an episode called

Mac Kills His Dad, I think. It's where Mac's dad's in prison and he and Charlie try to go to be like his legal team and on the outside they're gonna prove him innocent. And Mac is having this whole conversation with his dad between the glass, you know, with the phone and all. And you just gotta

watch Charlie's face. Listen to what Mac and, and you just gotta watch Charlie's face. Like, listen to what Mac and his father are saying, but watch Charlie's face. And it's its whole, it makes it funny all over again just to see his reactions to what they're saying because they're so comical. So I like watching stuff multiple, multiple times

and try to, you know, wring every ounce of content out of it there is. I don't do that with comedies as much as other kinds of shows. Like Band of Brothers, I've probably seen three times through, Pacific and the original. Pacific isn't as good, but it's still a really good... If it didn't have to compare itself to the original, everyone would look at it as that's an astounding good series.

But the first film is just one of a kind. But I watch through that usually once a year. That's one of my favorites. I've seen that three times. So I think you can get Band of Brothers in 1080p. Will these old things be remastered? And is there 4K footage out there? Probably not.

I don't know. Band of Brothers, the original one, came out in 2002 or 2003. So it's probably filmed in HD though right I would think so it looked HD when I watched it on HBO HBO Go or whatever it was it's the nice stuff about that stuff that was in film until Kyle gave the password to too many people

and then we got barred from the account you know six years on that fucker I was the straw that broke the camel's back me and the 80 people i brought on board yeah so many people use that account it's just stealing i think that might have been the account i was on i'm not sure because i got it from people you know and uh um you know like the shows were always like partially watched and like i'm like i felt like i was like you know is it okay to rewind this one and start like

i'm miss i'm losing their spot yeah i never i never even thought about it i i would i would come into that and be like yeah fuck it they should have finished you should have finished that in one sitting i'm trying to read about Band of Brothers and being in 1080p. I know I got the DVD box set. See, that worries me. Like, was it not formed in HD or filmed in HD? I mean to say it was filmed on film. Then it becomes a question of how shitty is the film.

Like with Jaws, it was some major effort to like fix the film and take out all the cigar marks and fix the audio and they had to like really do a thing whereas i wonder if they're just like oh yeah we could just release this original color correct it and shoot it out the door but there was a question here i'm gonna what do you like that not many people know you do? That one's impossible for me. I have not kept a lot of secrets. Yeah, I read that one, and I'm trying to think.

Did you guys know lawnmowers and campfires? They're like, yeah, Woody. We know. I don't even know. You have a little hidden pleasure. I was thinking of, like, foods, but that's fucking boring. Who cares? Right.

I wouldn't picture you as an artichoke guy. Well, I really like a lot of people. I like bands that most people either don't like or are afraid to admit they like. What's a movie that I liked that everybody hated? I don't know. It's being like a contrarian contrarian. I could be a contrarian. I thought The Sandlot

wasn't very good. It wasn't very good. Of course, it's also a children's movie. I feel like the internet loves Sandlot. That's because it falls under their... It's the movie they watched when they were a kid. They were the appropriate age 20 years

ago to love the Sandlot. We weren't. I didn't think it was good then or now. It's not good. That red-headed kid's so obnoxious. He played a vampire in an episode of The X-Files. I liked the Sandlot. What year did that come out? If you watch it again, I think you'll find the acting in it was atrocious. It was just a bunch of

children who weren't actors running around. That's what all those movies, like Bad News Bears, all that shit. I didn't think that was good. I saw it when I was five. If I revisit that, then perhaps I'll be a little more critical on the children's acting i really i saw

the guy on the internet who would critique children's drawings it's the fucking funniest thing terrible scale yeah this is my giraffe they're like what the hell's wrong with your giraffe it has two spots on it that neck is so short. Just lazy artistry. I don't know. I can't even think. That one might have to be revisited. I can't think of a good answer for that one. I don't know.

I own a lot of shoes. I like shoes. You like shoes? Yeah. I have no particular affection for shoes. I own a lot of them because I've been the same size for a long time. There you go. Yeah, that's the best.

See, my pant size goes up and down all the time. It could float from 31 to 34, anywhere in there. But shoes are always the same, so I don't feel bad getting a third pair or fourth pair, even if they're similar to one another. So I got a bunch of shoes. Usually mine are specialized. I've got just the right pair of shoes for cold weather outdoor construction work. I wear them every two years.

I don't know. We talk about all that stuff pretty much. I don't know. I like little dogs. I'm saving little dogs for my old age. I feel like... Don't waste your big dog years. Yeah. I feel like I'm 42 now. Don't waste your big dog years. Yeah, I feel like I'm 42 now. You fast forward 13 years, and the weight of the dog will be a thing. At 55, did I say two years?

I meant 12. It's actually 13. But at 55, it might be a struggle. It might hurt my back to lift a Great Dane. I've been considering getting one of those wiener dogs. I saw they had a litter of them, and I was looking at one, and it was like $600, which seems like a lot for a dog, and I'm not really in the market for a dog.

So then I was looking at, like, the Humane Society, the local ones and the sort of regional ones and the state ones and stuff near me and uh it's pretty fucking sad they've got like a list of the dogs that like don't have much time left so i'm like flipping through i'm doing a different voice for each one to my girlfriend begging her to come get me making up a whole life story and you know they're all they're all named and stuff and like lots of pit bulls that look scary like like you know someone had like these wrinkled faces they they're just terrifying dogs but they're not terrifying and when you do

them i guess no well sometimes people don't understand the true me i've got anger issues i lived in a hole for five years you know stuff like that if they're scary but but just flipping through them one after another and you know stuff like that if they're scary but but just flipping through them one after another and you know just like tender just just no no no gas chamber gas chamber um couldn't find any that i wanted um so i don't know that i'm not i don't have dog fever puppy fever like jackie did or anything like that but i think a big part of it is because we're about to go on this trip to colorado uh my girlfriend had to go down to florida a couple a week ago and so she took advantage of that to drop

her dog off at her parents house to for them to look after it while we're gone which meant that i got a you know i'm like a month away from this little dog that's usually like my my nightly companion like me and that dog are tight so like the dog's gotten fat i i've made the game it's it's like 15 pounds and it shares your enthusiasm for fried foods i i like like i went and bought the other night i bought four pounds of jelly beans as you do yeah yeah and i mean i've got this box of jelly it's like it's this big it's this big around it's got only eight year olds who just won the lottery and rapists go out and buy four pounds of jelly beans it was a little pricey but i got 50 flavors of jelly belly jelly beans and and so like i'll be sitting there eating them and and i like eat one and then i look to see

what i ate oh blueberry yeah yeah tasty and i'm eating these things and the dog's just watching me and i'll give the dog one and the dog like chews them up and i the dog's getting fat but but i love the little dog so the dog's been away, and I haven't had her keeping my feet warm at night and playing fetch with me and all that stuff. So I'm starting to want a dog. I've had a puppy fever before. Which dog is that that you're talking about?

Is that the one that's like, oh, it sounds like he's about to die? No, that's my dad's dog. That's Rambo. Rambo's 14-year-old jackrat terrier who's just like a wisp of a little guy, and he's all shaky all the time, like he's got Parkinson's.

He weighs like seven pounds, I think. But my girlfriend's dog is a Datsun who's like eight years old and super intelligent. I didn't realize little dogs got this intelligent because it's brain. It can't be that much bigger than this. But very personable, intelligent little dog. Very surprising.

You guys would like Ender. Ender is a big goofball. And physically, he's a magnificent example of the breed. He's just big. He's strong. He's so loving and so happy. He wags his tail so ferociously it hurts a lot. Like, like it gets me, like when he's, he comes at me, right? And he's happy, happy, happy, happy, happy. And then it spins and comes back and he gets you with that

tail and fucking hurts. And you're like, ah, god damn it. It's like nutsack level. So you're like god damn it it's like nutsack level so you're like protecting yourself but even a good thigh slap with it it's like a whip like a whip like it hurts it's like a ufc leg kick yeah and we'll be like in the game of thrones room and he's just spinning and happy and excited and and you're like god damn it and i I check it like a leg kick, you know, so he gets the shit. He'd check it. Yeah. I'd check it. Dude, you see it coming.

Like, you got to check the tail wags because it hurts more than, like, you need to see this. You need to see it. And he'll love you, and he'll, like, just so happy and enthusiastic, and you got to check his kicks. And it's a thing. It's a whole experience my my parents were not prepared he's bigger than he looks on camera according to them yeah and uh

yeah this is just a big goofball happy dog and he hurts you but he loves you so much his love hurts i don't want any of that love that's a big dog big dog. I like the little dog because I like to be able to like – the one thing I worry about is like your dog is not fragile at all. Like you don't have to worry about if somebody is going to step on your dog or if like some little kid is going to trip over it. He'll be laying on the couch and it's like that's my spot. So I'll lay on top of him or sit on top of him and he's like man i'm perfectly fine with this arrangement i'll wait you out and that's yeah yeah yeah with a

little dog you know you could kill him if you trip over him or step on him or something or at least hurt them pretty badly it's like you could break a leg or something just by you know how you walk behind someone you flat foot them? My sister had this friend in high school who was a big guy. He was 300 and I'm not good at guessing weight, but he was tall as well. So let's just say like six foot three, 320 pounds, just a big guy. And he wanted to be a veterinarian. I think he's still on the way to, or maybe he has become one by now. He got a pug puppy. He loved this thing and he would sleep with it every night. Then one night he falls asleep and he rolls over on it. He wakes up and he

has smothered this new puppy to death in the bed. It it's all because he's such a big guy, right? You know, a 200-pound man wouldn't have done this. It wouldn't have happened. But he's 320 or 350 or whatever the hell. And so it was just too much. And the little puppy got, he rolled over on the puppy, smothered it, wakes up to a dead puppy right under him. It was, he cried a lot. He needs a seven-foot-tall Great Dane.

Right? Yeah, there's two of you, two peas in a pod. Yeah, that Great D dane would have farted on he'd have woke up and he'd have been all shaky and had a headache from low oxygen to his brain my dog's fart so bad it's awful and there's two of them right so sometimes they're both just cooking at the same time oh my god you know we've got like the fireplace going and stuff just the room i don't envy that yeah like they'll both be in the like say the family room with jackie and i'm like oh my god like is it this place is polluted. She's, you know, I know, I know.

You should put, I imagine like putting one of those sticky Febreze things like on the back of the dog, like right above its tail, just so it's constantly just hanging out. Yeah, that's awful. When you got a dog that weighs hundreds of pounds, that digestive system is not conducive to anything good. No, they could be so stinky. It's kind of funny funny but oh my god my the way my dogs fart is it's bad it's real bad it's something like i i

think people are out there think like okay so my dogs are human sized right you might think that there's a similar no no they they out fart any person that I've ever met. Yeah, yeah. It's because they have no concept of restraint. They let it go. Yeah. Just give you both barrels right away. And, you know, they fart, so you think, like, all right, whatever. We're safe for a few minutes. But there's more.

There's more dogs. They can trade off. It's a tag team. They'll pollute a room. But it's also kind of funny so i don't know they're they're really loving dogs so it's easy to forgive their faults it would have to be i don't envy your giant dog situation that's not no i don't either i don't envy your little dog situation i i have what i want it's. I could definitely see that there are definitely

drawbacks to the little dog, but I think there's also drawbacks to the big dog. Ideally, I think I would want one of those Australian cattle dogs, one of those little... A dog that's big enough to bite someone, but small enough to hop in my arms and that sort of thing. One thing that we like about Danes is how they're lazy a lot of the day they sleep away a lot and i really like my dogs to be low effort like yeah they're they're just turned off most of the time yeah and you know in comparison it's probably not for the same reasons but that wiener dog sleeps all fucking day it's great that dog loves to nap that's that's my nap buddy yeah i i imagine i'd really like the wiener if i got to know him it's got so it's like a person this got personality

it's odd it's like a cat a little bit it's not the kind of dog that'll snuggle with you at all it's like it's got other shit to do ender in particular i know you'd like ender you'd want to come you'd want him i'm swear that dog is so sweet so goofy so he has personality galore he's a good dog he's a good dog i'd like to see i'd like to bring my uh my water balloon launcher i got one of those that's like i got the big one that like a person gets on each end and holds aside and then the third person cocks and holds back the thing be fun to get over there and like launch some balls and see those dogs running across the field and stuff maybe so we had labs yellow labs for a while and uh they were amazing at fetch you know they were great they taught me a lot of my hockey skills i'd be on the deck just

playing with the ball you know going back and forth back and forth the thing i try to do is like get it between their legs and i got really good at bringing it between my own legs and keeping my body between me and the defenseman and you know like know, like that was a big deal. And then I'd flip it up off the porch and they'd zip out there and catch it. They could catch crazy things. You throw the ball poorly to them. They're like doing backflips and landing on their feet like a cat. My great Danes are so incompetent by comparison. You know, you throw things for them to catch. They get bopped in the head or they try to catch it with their mouth. They have no mouth-eye coordination.

Mouth-eye coordination, that's what I call it. Kitty's dog is retarded like that. I'll go to the refrigerator and make a ham sandwich. I'll tear off a little corner of ham for each dog. My girlfriend's dog will be like, catch it out of the air like it's because because she hunts all day she fights lizards uh they're the perfect size to be below her in the food chain so like lizards beware uh but with her accent she calls them wizards

uh but anyway wizards be well the wizards and then we're watching a nature documentary and there was there's a Komodo dragon that comes on the screen and she started looking at it. And I was like, oh, be well the whizzled king. I like to do that stuff. But anyway, what was I saying?

You're talking about the dog, the hunting, the mouth-eye coordination. Not mouth-eye coordination? Oh, yeah. So her dog can catch shit, but Kitty's dog, the hunting, the mouth-eye coordination. Not mouth-eye coordination? Oh, yeah. So her dog can catch shit, but Kitty's dog, Muppet, who's like a little terrier that's maybe that tall or something like that, you'll throw cheese or ham at it or whatever

and it'll just hit it in the head. It'll just be like, ah! It'll blind it for a minute. I see this cat. You see it happen to cats on Reddit all the time. She'll stop being able to dog. She'll de-dog and just freak out and fall on the floor

and stuff. It's pretty funny. Completely uncoordinated. Same with balls. You just throw the ball at it and it just hits it in the head. It's just like, why'd you hit me? Why? I trusted you, Human. Human. Human? Human.

I'll have long conversations with the dogs. I like to give them a little voice, you know. They got no way to communicate. I like to make people feel bad for them. That's what I've been doing to my girlfriend for a week because she took that dog back to Florida. I'm like, you know, doing the dog voice and pointing out that there's like alligators in Florida and shit like that and the dog's going to get eaten. I'm like, that dog, doing the dog voice and pointing out that there's like alligators in Florida and shit like that.

And the dog's going to get eaten. And I'm like, that dog's forgotten all about you. When it gets back, it's not even going to know who you are. Just making her feel bad. I'm going to whip out an AMA question. Is this okay? Should I try and save every cent I have and put it towards retirement if there's a chance I won't even make it? I guess he means die.

Or should I spend some money on enjoying myself in the present while I can since i won't even make it i guess he means die or should i spend some money on enjoying myself in the present while i can since i won't be young forever it's a pretty loaded question yeah what would be a good balance like should i try to save for retirement given there's a fair chance i'll just die and never enjoy it or should i live it while i'm young because i'm only once thanks for barely enough like just enough information to not be able to answer your question. Well, I don't know if you got terminal cancer or something. Probably should not be putting the money in the piggy bank.

But if you're just like, I don't know why. That's the question, right? Why do you think you're not going to live to enjoy retirement? I thought I wouldn't when I was a kid. And I don't know why, but it was just, you know, well, I'm just so wild and crazy. I'll probably never be 55. Um, yeah, find a balance. There's, there's plenty of, there's plenty of like tables out there that'll help you set aside the correct amount. Um, it really depends on you and your income and your expenses and your

lifestyle. And there's no right answer to that without the help of some. I feel like one of the things people do is they deny themselves small things like movie theater money and, uh, and then let the big things fly. And it's like when you sign up for a, I'll make something up, you know, a $40,000 truck. Um, like that's a big deal like how many times did you look at something that was 150 and 150 dollars like literally just 150 dollars and say no I can't have that you know I can't have an xbox right now I can't have this I'm gonna deny myself some game and then you bought a 40,000 car like that now you're up for I'm making numbers up but like six years of 500 payments and you know your whole life got trickier because one day you were weak and you signed yourself up for a lifetime of

debt yeah then you then you still owe like ten thousand dollars what do you mean? Like seven years. I was doing the math on the payments with interest. You're paying forever. That's what people never realize when you borrow money. I can remember people signing up for those 72 month loans. And

it was outrageous. And you could go even farther. Like go out into 80 plus month loans. I've seen that once where someone went I don't even remember what it is. It's like 84. I think it was outrageous. And you could go even farther. Like go out into 80 plus month loans. I've seen that once where someone went, I don't even remember what it is. It's like 84. I think it's 84 months when it's eight years. No, no, no. Seven years.

Seven years. Seven years, yeah. Seven years. Ridiculous. An auto loan for seven years. But I've seen that happen before. It's crazy. And then you start,

God, you don't have to be that bright to just do the math there and see how much interest you're paying over the course of that time. Especially, and I'm thinking back to cases of poor credit, and it's always zero down and shit like that. And it's just like, dude, I mean, I'm happy to sign this paperwork because I'm making a commission, but are you sure? I never asked that, but that's what's going on in here.

I feel like people sometimes watch their pennies and not their dollars, and it's like, dude, just take a breath and realize what you're buying here. Cars in particular, this guy wants to know if he should save for your future, live a lifestyle that makes you happy but god don't there's a lot more middle ground than what this guy is saying too where it's like should i save every single penny or should i spend every single penny it's like you know common sense dictates it's somewhere in the middle there but it is aggravating like when you have a friend to like my age bracket like they're putting the payment down on their first home or something that's probably too expensive.

And then meanwhile, when it's like, hey, you want to grab a burrito at Chipotle, catch up? It's like, whoa. Can't be spending money right now. Can't buy a $9 burrito. I've got a $400,000 house that I'm going to be tied to for the rest of my life. Yeah, it is silly. So don't be that guy. Just be reasonable, I guess guess it's not that hard yeah and

the home could be an appreciating asset we'll see how that works i know i might sound biased because i just bought a home but uh the car in particular pretty much never be a good investment yeah and nobody's ever buying cars for more than or i guess like every once in a while there's like a shelby cobra or something but that's like one in a million that actually appreciates in value nobody's like oh you got an 82 civic like wow is that a manual roll down windows yeah all those cars on the lot you're looking at are just gonna cost you a bunch so yeah where did he go off to what What's he grabbing? He didn't say. Bathroom break, maybe?

No, he walked in the back. That's not where his bathroom is, I don't think. I don't know what's there. Unless he's been lying every other time he's ever said he's going to the bathroom, which is also a distinct possibility. Just going up and butting around in his house. Unless there's other times he goes to the bathroom, he does two things. Like bathroom and coffee. or bathroom and snack. Bathroom and throw a couple more fries in the deep fryer.

New mixture. That cracks me up that he's so into deep frying because I know that it would be something that I would think was a ton of fun if I had one. But I also know like I'd probably use it like once and then you have six gallons of rancid oil that you need to dispose of somewhere it's interesting as a topic to me like i was saying before how like he's so passionate about it that i normally wouldn't want to hear fryer talk but you know if you're totally into it i'll listen yeah so call a show there i've got one more thing and I don't know if it's a good topic but Bernie Sanders released his tax plan

and did you guys see it at all here's a link a guy on the PKA subreddit simplified it it's kind of hard to talk about one because facts and figures don't really translate to non visual stuff and two because there's a lot there here's the entire proposal talk about one because facts and figures don't really translate to non like visual stuff and

two because there's a lot there here's the entire proposal and if i were to print it it would be like seven pages which i mentioned is to his credit i feel like a lot of people will just be like you know i'm for higher spending and lower taxes i'll make it work and uh he on the other hand has a real like i going to crack down on this. I'm going to do that. I'm going to charge this, and that will fund this other thing. And he lays it all out there. But, man, like my big takeaway on this is holy Robin Hood.

He has, you know, like on the top tax bracket, for example, which a lot of people just hate people for being rich, but for people who make over 10 million, it is a, trying to do the math on this right, from basically 40% to 50%, is that a 20% increase? 25% increase. You know, 25% increase in taxes, although it's like 12 actual percent.

It's just a couple more million dollars. No big deal, right? Yeah. Now, please, I understand marginal tax rates, but I'm talking about the top thing. You know what? I'm going to briefly explain marginal tax rates. So the way that things work is there are brackets, right? I'm going to simplify it.

Let's say that the brackets happen. The tax rate is 10%, 20%, 30%, right? And then that increase happens at $100,000, $200,000, $300,000. So if you make a $201,000, right? I don't know if I messed this up, but let's say that at $201,000, you're in the 30% tax bracket, right? You've just reached that thing. The first 100 grand was taxed at 10, and the next 100 grand was taxed at 20, and then the 30%, hardly anything. It's de minimis, right? Like, it's just that last $1,000.

So really, you're paying 15%, because the first half was at 10, the second half was at 20, and practically none was at 30. So we'll dismiss that. That's how a marginal tax rate works. So when they say 52% on income over 10 million, a lot of people will be like, half my money?

Maybe when you throw in states or whatever. But for the purposes of this, no, because most of your income wasn't over 10 million unless you're doing super well. But still, oh, oh, and then on the other side, if you're ever looking at tax deductions, then you do just look at your highest rate. If I hypothetically made $20 million and I had a million dollar tax deduction,

it would be worth 52% of that because it all comes off the top. You don't look at marginal when you're looking at deductions. The big thing with Bernie Sanders is, holy smokes, he really has a tax and spend plan. And he really targets the top earners as if they were bad guys. And I think, like, I remember I was talking to Kyle once. He's on PKA.

He's like, I love rich people. Have you ever met rich people? They're great. They're generous. They're fun. They're successful. They're not haters. They're just, like, if you ever get an opportunity to hang out with a really rich guy for a day, I bet you'll like it.

They're glorious people oftentimes. They got ahead by being sociable and you know and I think if you don't know rich people it's easy to think that they're just total douchebags because they have what you want if you do you'll realize like ah you know that oftentimes they executed super well on one really great idea and that's there or other times they just persisted persisted persisted and ignored the 10 failures and then they're until their great idea worked but um i don't know the bernie sanders

philosophy seems to be fuck rich people they're rich yeah i uh i reiterate all the all the rich people i've ever met were great people real Real fun hanging around with them. They were very sharing, very fun, very nice people. Yeah. Good time. I'm just 52% tax rate. Now that's over 10 million. He wants to bring the estate taxes back to where they were, I guess, pre-Bush. I forget what that is exactly.

He's targeting. Yeah, I don't know. it's too much for me i definitely hate some of the breaks i hate that capital gains taxes are lower than ordinary income that's stupid and crooked in my heart um the social security thing doesn't seem correct that that they're gonna attack they're gonna just continue taxing the income despite the fact that you're not reaping any further benefits from there it seems wrong and i and i feel like it's so difficult to explain that correctly if you're on the other side of it but it's so easy that rather it's so easy for him to be like hey look uh once they get a certain point they're just they're not paying taxes on this anymore what's the big deal you know it i

don't know i don't like that there's a number of things always an investment account right like if you make i'll make about 20 grand and then you put in seven percent on that you know as you do and uh then when you retire you reap the benefits as somebody who made 20 grand and put in that if you make a hundred grand the whole way and you also put in 7%, a much greater amount, then you reap greater benefits. It's an investment account. The more you put in, the more you get out. It's how it's always worked.

He's changing it so that if you make 20 grand, you get out what you're based in. If you make 100 grand, you get out what you put in. But if you make 100 million, then you just keep putting in forever and you take out just like that guy that made $100 grand. It's no longer an investment account. Yeah, there's a cap on benefits, but no cap.

But he's wanting to remove the cap on the money you pay in. Yes. Yeah, there's a cap. Perfect. Thank you. There's a cap on the benefits. That part's not changing. But how much you pay in will get rich people to fund it all because fuck them.

Yeah, that's not fair nope i've heard years ago you know people would be like oh yeah these guys these democrats you know they just want to you know raise taxes they're trying to steal from you but they would never have the balls to do it in person with a gun and i thought fuck you you know like this public benefit whatever like you you it's not stealing but the way this is structured feels like that to me like we're attacking it's too aggressive it's just too aggressive you're not going to eliminate the class system in one foul swoop like and that seems like what he's trying to do he needs to be a little bit more reasonable about about his uh he needs more reasonable expectations it's a popular thing to say um you know like that well fuck rich people they didn't deserve it they

didn't earn it they just got there off the backs of all these silver spoon but um man i i don't know there's a lot of rich people who are who got rich because they're hard working and they're innovative thinkers and if you start taxing the fuck out of them they'll go somewhere where they don't tax the fuck out of them and they'll make money for that country yeah yeah they'll just make their company owned by some company in switzerland and suddenly they're not paying taxes here nearly to the level they should be. There's aspects of Bernie Sanders I'm totally excited about, right?

I feel like he has like a straight moral compass, right? He has character. He's an honest man. Yeah. And I kind of feel that way about Obama too, but I've never, never in my life can I remember a guy,

a politician who was so uncompromising in his morality. Right. I don't think you can get that high up in politics and be a bastion of honesty and morality. I just don't think you can. You cannot be a career politician who really doesn't do anything but leech off of his constituents because that's what they do. You shouldn't be able to just have a career of essentially manipulating people. It's really easy if you're a career politician to convince people of certain things because that's been your job. You don't know a trade.

You don't know anything useful. You're not making people more money. Well, Bernie's, in my mind, either I'm being fooled. Not just Bernie. Either I'm being fooled or I feel like Bernie's broken the mold. And in some ways,

I'm excited about a guy who is just, his morality is great. It's unquestionable. He's only doing the right thing in his heart all the time. Bernie won't fuck you. But I don't agree with some of his ideas, even if I'm confident they come from a place of goodness. I agree completely. I'm 100% with you there. I feel like Bernie is well-meaning

and a good guy, and I can't say that about the others. I feel like some of the others are greedy career politicians who are just... I mean, Clinton is just a monster as far as I'm concerned. Ted Cruz is the biggest monster for me. He is not well-meaning and a good guy

at all, at all. No, she's second most to, or he's second most to Hillary. Cause she takes the cake. I think to me, I flip them, but I can accept either way.

You know, um, I think Ted Cruz is the biggest douchebag in that's relevant. But, um, yeah, Hillary also, I just,

she's a politician. I don't know. I just don't trust any of them at all. Well, lucky for us, we have virtually no say in this whole matter, so we just get to sit back and watch what happens. Bernie Sanders has such an incredible following. They're so passionate, the ones that there are. Like, if you're a real Bernie Sanders supporter you you're serious about that shit uh

oh you know what i did see today i saw the uh in in my town i saw the trump 2016 uh election headquarters i'm not sure how that gets funded and all that but they got a big building together all covered with american flag shit and like red white, and blue banners. Where does the money come from for that? Trump? Typically, they raise it from people, and the campaign asks for donations, and that's what they buy. Yeah, but this is Trump, so I don't know if maybe he runs this thing a different way. He talks about not taking any money and financing his own shit. He definitely takes small dollars.

I feel like he's talking about not being in the pockets of GE, but you can donate to Trump. And that's what matters anyway. Like, I don't care about Joe Schmoe throwing six bucks at his candidate. Trump is totally in the pocket of a teacher from West Virginia who donated $250. He's got him dancing like a puppet on a string. But I saw that today. Susan's the one who's really calling the shots. It was impressive.

Like, it's a big building they got, and it's all decorated. And it used to be sort of a derelict kind of place. But someone has went in there, and they're serious about Trump 2016. They're going to carry Georgia. I guess in the primaries, that is a question. Georgia's leaning more purple these days from a lot of stuff I've read. So who knows? I didn't expect that.

I didn't expect it either. But I still think it really depends on the candidate. I feel like, and the matchup in particular. The matchup really matters. It's really important because the they're you know once we get to the primaries and once they've selected running mates that could really sway this thing a bunch um you put the right person alongside virtually any of these candidates and i might be like oh well that's that's a good team you know okay he's bringing

that guy in that guy's got a lot of foreign policy knowledge whatever you know oh john mccain's hopping on board with this guy oh okay that's kind of weird all right you know whatever it is that could that could be a big game changer but that i think that is the game changer for me whenever we get down to the primaries and they select uh their vps uh i i hope there's a period where where like trump kind of suggests that he's got a vp in mind uh soon sooner rather than later i'd love to know who his idea is like who could it be watch him be someone totally non-traditional like he just grabs tim cook from apple i wouldn't like that i need i want him to grab someone who's going to really help him navigate the world. Foreign policy.

Foreign policy and inside baseball. Like a Paul Ryan, for example. The political system in Washington. If all the senators are going to line up against Trump and make it so that he's ineffective. Newt Gingrich. There you go. Trump Gingrich, 2016. Wow.

That guy. I hear you. I don't know if he's out of date or not, but I was saying Paul Ryan, you know, the current leader over there. You know, some guy knows his way around. Sarah Palin. No. Did you see she endorsed him? Her endorsement was so wacky, it was perfect Palin.

I think I've got a quote here somewhere. This man build big things, big things that touch sky. Well, I mean, it speaks for itself. All right. Yeah,

Sarah Palin's crazy, but you know what her endorsement might carry some weight you know get him some voters it will and her her porno is great so it can't hurt people are gonna nobody's gonna write him off because she supported him yeah they will well people who weren't gonna vote for him anyway probably probably guys like me will think he's just even crazier. But Trump really wasn't getting my vote. But he wasn't getting yours in the first place. Can't wait, man. Can't wait.

Trump 2016. That motherfucker. I wonder if he would do design changes to the White House. Like pimp it out. Like make it 30 stories or something. They'll call it the Trump House for the next four or eight years. Oh, man. Eight.

they'll call it the trump house for the next four or eight years oh man eight i can just see him like his his uh inaugural like speech or whatever he is we're gonna put the white back in the white house he's going in there like like great great that's uh it's not great at all yeah man it's gonna be so funny be such a mockery of the whole system, the whole thing. There's a big part of me that wants Trump to win just because of the sit back and watch. All of me wants him to win. It would just be interesting. I don't care. I don't think any of them are going to make a difference in the first place

so at least have somebody who's fun to watch. I don't care anymore. I don't want Hillary. After that, I do want Trump. I want Trump to win. I don't want Hillary. After that, I do want Trump. I want Trump to win. I've thought more and more about it, and out of the people that are out there, if I've got to pick one, I'm just going to pick Trump. I'm not betting that

Rubio will not make us all recite the Ten Commandments every morning at dawn. It could happen. I'm going to go with Trump, keep the Muslims out of the country, make those Mexicans build us a wall and then pay for it.

And apparently the Moroccans too. We need to lay a little justice down on them. Some drone warfare, I think. Keep them away from that fence they were running at. We need walls around every country. Return to the days of Greek city-states. I just understood the Moroccans too thing because of his stupid campaign ad

that showed Moroccans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's pretty ridiculous. I wonder if there's... I wonder if there have ever been another non-politician, crazy, wacky outsider like this to run for

national office in another country and get this far. Has one of the Spice Girls ever went out to be the new the new PM and like Ross Perot was almost Trump level back in 92 really well so he ran as a third party and got something like 20% of the vote I thought it was 15 that's time though Yeah That's impressive if you got 20 That's a legit third party Yeah it was kind of 19

So you got 19% of the vote That You know that It's somehow he was never going to win But He was going to create a three-party political system. But for whatever reason, even at 19%, he wasn't able to get a traction. The numbers on Trump running as a third-party candidate are interesting.

There's so many ways to look at this election, pulling it apart and moving the pieces around. But Trump as a third party ruins the Republicans because he really keeps a lot of his support. He keeps his hardcore base. No need to disparage that group any further. Trump as a third party, even doing poorly, will pull in 10%. And the Republicans were no way going to beat the Democrats

by more than that. And he pulls more from the right than the left, certainly. And the Republicans were no way going to beat the Democrats by more than that. Yeah. And he pulls more from the right than the left, certainly. Almost purely from the right. I think there's some independents out there who are on board with him. Okay. But. I mean, you know, he's just doing so.

And then it'd be like libertarian independence. So overall skewing right. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like if he gets 10% of of the vote he takes at least nine of that from the republicans and that's why the the rnc are in such a uh a sticky situation it's like okay we don't if we don't give the nomination to trump he could run as a third party and just fuck us right in the ass if we do give it to him then we make ourselves the laughingstock of world

politics by making donald trump our representative to go into this thing. It's a real rock and a hard place. Can't wait. I can't recall a more interesting presidential race. The pro-em's may be good too. You say, Bernie Sanders is just this year's Ron Paul. No, I feel like Bernie Sanders is a lot more competitive than Ron Paul ever was. Might be this year's Barack Obama. You never know.

If he can keep it going. He's probably going to win at least one of these first two states. If he gets into South Carolina and he's within, say, if he can pull within five points, that's a huge statement. I think right now he's behind by like 15 or so, but he was behind by like 35, and he pulled like 17 points ahead in 30 days or something. So he's closing, but he'd really have to close a lot.

He's got to get on that national stage. That's what matters. He's got to win Arizona. He's got to make statements across the country it can't just be the new hampshire if he wins iowa and he might come and then wins for north north new hampshire then i i feel like you have to look at him in a different way all of a sudden the big news story will be hillary's deflating and you know that's going to help him in south carolina it's he'sating and you know that's gonna help him in South Carolina it's he's not getting you know I see a lot of those big groups throwing their weight behind Hillary

already like the gay rights groups uh I saw frustrated me right when she was voting against gay mayors not that long ago yeah yeah yeah politically expedient and whatever works for her she's just manufactured I I mean I think I've said this too many times, but I empathize with politicians who choose their words so carefully because they know everything is going to be dissected and used against them. Having said that, fuck politicians who do that because I'm done with it.

I'm exhausted by it. I like the Trump and the Bernie who just consistently say what's on their mind. Agreed. Wrap? That's a wrap. Check out Movement Watches.

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