Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #268
Episode Date: February 11, 2016This week on PKA, Boogie2988 joins us again for a good time! Boogie talks about the doctor's judging him and perhaps his "lady parts", the guys react to Lefty's return video and the Colorado trip is d...iscussed further.
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Holy smokes, it started immediately.
Oh, wow.
That never happens.
What episode is it?
What?
Tell them what episode it is.
Episode 268.
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We'll talk more about each of those companies later on in the show.
But first things first, we've got a great guest tonight.
Got Boogie with us.
What's going on, man?
Hi, guys.
Not much, man.
Just doing the YouTube thing and the Twitch thing and just chilling like a villain,
enjoying the fallout of this Fine Brothers escapade on the internet.
What an interesting time that has been.
Batman in a century.
People are going to look back on this.
I'd appreciate it if no one uses the R word.
I think we all know the word.
During this video, Woody does not want to get any strikes.
He's a stickler about that.
Won't happen.
Does anyone want to lay it out there for the people who are under a rock?
I can give you a short version of it because I'm very well versed in this.
Me too.
Go on.
The Fine Brothers created a channel called React,
and they also have Fine Brothers Entertainment.
And they've been making short films for about 12, 13, 14 years.
They've been on YouTube now doing the React thing for about six years.
And basically, they take a group of people,
they put them in front of a camera,
they show them stuff, and then they film their reactions.
That's the premise.
And they pretty much do reaction way better than anybody else is doing way better than jinx or any of these other reactors you just kind of watch the video
re-upload them in their entirety it's all it's almost respectable the fine brothers do i think
compared to what you would the other reactors are doing my son loves their stuff my son can't
stop talking about it so they decided that um they've always been kind of antagonistic when it came to people stealing their format.
And their format is pretty much theirs to an extent.
You know, obviously the kids react and the teens react and that stuff.
That's very much them.
If you hear the term elders react, teens react, you tend to think of the fine brothers.
The terms are.
The concept, I don't know.
Right.
Now, the concept i don't know right now the concept
obviously is not so they decided to work towards trademarking um their what they consider to be
their brand which is teens react kids react or whatever along with that they decided to also
trademark the term react which is not something i feel should be trademarked i think most people
feel should be trademarked because it is the first thing humans do for anything If you see something you think something you hear something you react like that's a natural human impulse
Having a trademark for a natural human impulse is something that you shouldn't have and the internet definitely got involved on top of that
They also came up with a plan where they would license their format including like their brand names teens react kids react or whatever
to people to
create shows under that umbrella.
Ideally, across
the seas in different languages and different cultures.
Once people got
to look at the contracts, they found the contracts
to be fairly exploitive and
not really leaving much left over for
the person creating the content,
a lot getting kicked up to the Fine
Brothers.
I didn't know that.
I think they were taking like 30%
off the top, I think was the number I
heard. So wait, a 70-30 split?
That's not too exploitive, especially
for a small channel. That's almost normal. Does anyone know
what you would pay like
a mafia don in that
type of situation? What percentage do you give a guy
like that? The Fine Bros aren't going to break your kneecaps.
I could go this way.
If you have 5,000 subs and you sign up for full screen,
what do you expect that split to be?
Yeah, it's probably going to be, I mean, I've seen 60-40.
60-40, 70-30 is kind of where it begins.
And if people don't know, as you get to be a big shot,
the contracts get closer to 90-10, maybe even 95-5.
And then some of the biggest of the biggest that are draws,
like the Captain Sparkles, Gentle Marbles, et cetera,
I don't know their contracts, but I know that in history,
sometimes they sign them as loss leaders.
What's really interesting to me about all of this is if you work outside of YouTube,
then what the Fine Brothers are doing seems particularly exploitive.
But once you've been on the inside of YouTube for a little while,
you realize that there are people doing things as bad, if not worse, than the Fine Brothers.
You look at what Nintendo is doing.
Nintendo has an exact React World setup.
If you want to produce Nintendo gameplay, you have two choices.
Number one, you can put it up in your channel and they will take 100% of your revenue,
or you can appeal through their program so that they'll only take, I think, 30% or 40% of your revenue.
But if you want to create gameplay of Nintendo videos,
you have to go through a React World style
process. And they didn't just try to do it
like the Fine Brothers did. They have successfully
done that on YouTube. There is no
ifs, ands, or buts. YouTube works
with them. Stuff like that happens all the time.
We're constantly fighting copyright
and trademark with, and sorry,
I didn't mean to interrupt you.
You're dealing with the movie industry, the gaming industry, the music industry, the television industry.
Even when you're working within the confines of fair use, these guys are constantly bombarding you with this stuff,
trying to prevent you from doing really anything that could possibly compete with them.
Do you have a policy on what happens if someone reuploads a derivative of your
stuff?
Like,
like if somebody reuploads the entirety of the video,
then I might rarely a copyright claim it,
especially if it has more views than my original video.
That's the only time I'll ever do that.
If,
if it gets free booted on Facebook,
I'll contact the people on Facebook and I'll be like,
Hey,
do you mind changing your description of the video to link to my channel?
And I'll ask my fans to go to that video and post my channel in the comments section.
I very rarely ever use Facebook to take anything down.
If it's within fair use, you know, 70% of the content is mine, but they've changed the –
they've edited it differently.
They've audioed, made different audio. They've added commentary over top of it, they've edited it differently. They've audio,
made different audio.
They've added commentary over top of it.
They've made a remix.
They made a YouTube poop.
I love it.
That's my favorite thing
in the world.
Download my content today.
Re-upload it by making it
your own thing.
Do compilations
of Francis sketches.
Do compilations
of Boogie Rants.
Make me sound stupid.
Speed up my voice.
Slow down my voice.
Make it your own,
and I love it.
I love seeing that.
Send that to me on Twitter.
I'll drop a like on it probably.
We do a similar thing on Painkiller already.
People have made compilations.
People have made derivative work.
They've made little cartoons too.
Animated versions.
The animated ones are the coolest.
They animate a whole bit.
I love that.
Not only do we not attack them, we often promote them.
If I like a video, it shows up on my Twitter and stuff,
and I'll do that for them.
I feel like it just helps get PKA out there.
Now, I will say I have – hold on, I've got more.
I've copyright struck people who've – like there's a channel.
I forget the name of it, but it's completely devoted
to just reloading PKA in its entirety.
Or back in the day when we live stream,
we used to do like a pre and post show and people would feel justified as
like, you know, like, Oh, well,
since the pre show is not on Woody's channel, therefore I own it.
You know, if you're not going to do it, then I, it's my responsibility to,
but I always felt like, no, no, no, that we were a little more kickback in the
pre and post show like
it wasn't meant to hit an audience beyond the live one and it was an incentive to sort of catch it
live and like you know if i wanted it upload i would have it's ours so in situations like that
i've struck stuff mostly i've been accused of striking a ton of stuff but the only one i'm
really guilty of is either pka like entirety
re-uploads or one time i struck keemstar because um he was picking on wings and i was like that's
my content but um for me the only thing that i really don't like getting uploaded is sometimes
on twitch stream i might say something regrettable because if i'm talking for two hours unfiltered
i might say something completely stupid
which I do tend to do pretty often so sometimes that's embarrassing yeah that'll happen uh the
other thing is sometimes I'll practice content like I'll do covers of songs and stuff like that
and I'll do those on twitch stream and practice them live and then eventually I get a version of
it that I like that may end up on YouTube. And I hate that it gets spoiled,
you know, that someone will capture it on Twitch and they'll go, here's this Matrix thing that
he's been doing every Twitch stream. I'm going to upload it. And then everybody sees it there.
And then the surprise when it hits Facebook, the surprise when it hits YouTube is already over at
that point. I think every person, especially comedians, deal with that. You go to a show where they're working on the material.
You record a lesser version of that material and upload it to their channel.
Now it spoils the joke for when you get it well-rounded and correct.
I don't know.
But again, even then, I'm not going to copyright strike.
I have no interest in it for the most part.
It's only ever going to happen when it's somebody blatantly re-uploading the video
in its entirety without
adding anything to it. I wouldn't even
mind, and Jinx said
come out if you mind
uploading your videos. I don't even know if I would mind
what Jinx does. Honestly, I'd
be interested in seeing what his audience has to say about me.
I'm glad that you're so
liberal with not striking people because
over on my
channel i'm about to debut a character named cyrus and he's just like a super nerd kind of talks like
this and he's really mad don't even matter he's just named cyrus and really loves magic gathering
i said i would not copyright strike you i didn't say i wouldn't come to the house and strike you in the face. I don't know. I think Cyrus is pretty endearing.
Yeah, I feel like, like I said, compilations, derivative work, et cetera.
That's just people doing free advertising for you.
The UFC has been big on striking lately.
They went nuts for it.
Maybe you're up to date on this.
They went crazy for it, and it's turned a lot of fans off.
It was just the guy doing a flip.
It wasn't even the fight.
It was like after the fight, he did a flip, and they strike those videos.
They did.
They struck every video that had UFC content in it that they could find.
I get it when it comes to like a Ronda Rousey fight or whatever,
because those only last for 13 seconds.
They're uploaded to Facebook like that.
You guys are paying for pay-per-view.
I'm watching it on Facebook 20 minutes later.
I can see their argument on that.
I get how that hurts them a little more, et cetera.
It's also not news anymore.
Part of the reason I pay for it is that I can see it live.
If I'm seeing it tomorrow on Facebook, then that has less value to me than the live thing.
All sports do.
I already know who won when I watch it on Facebook tomorrow.
But the thing is here.
So I'm a UFC fan, right?
And I don't mean to paint myself as the world's most hardcore fan, but I like to follow the UFC.
Like maybe someone who's really into hockey or basketball likes to follow those sports so every day i read some ufc
related news sometimes it's about their contracts upcoming events injury rumors um just pictures of
guys bodies because i'm so gay like um but like it's it's newsworthy to me if Johnny Hendricks, who typically has a
hard time making weight and he comes in with some body fat, right now he's like a perfect specimen.
So I just see a picture of a fighter who's maybe found a better diet or new discipline than he had
before as news. I follow this stuff every day.
And when the UFC starts copyright striking,
a lot of fans in anticipation of an event will make like a highlight video of a
fighter.
And when those can't happen anymore, it's like, shit, you know,
like this is the way that I make the UFC an everyday thing,
even though events are happening every two or three weeks.
And they take it.
I think when you punish someone who's creating drawings or fan videos
or fan songs or whatever they're doing,
I think when you punish them for doing that,
you're punishing them for being your biggest fans.
And I get that you have to protect what's yours,
you have to protect what you're doing,
and obviously you have to earn what's yours. You have to protect what you're doing, and obviously you have to
earn a living out of it. And if the
UFC isn't making as much money as they need
it to make to keep it going, I could see where they'd be
doing these kinds of things. But you're ultimately
destroying your fan base, and that's the stupidest thing you can do.
Because without your fans, you're nothing.
That's true of the UFC. That's true of everybody
in this podcast.
It's true of this podcast itself.
It's true of everybody on YouTube. Without your fans, you're
nothing. And the stronger, the bigger the fan
they are, the more invested they are in you. It doesn't matter
if they have money. It doesn't matter if they have anything.
If they are excited and they're getting the message
out there that you exist and what you're doing is worth
paying attention to, they are your
best friend. You'd never hunt with those people.
So hang on a minute. We're talking about the Fine Brothers
though. Somehow we have really
handed off the topic.
Can we have just sortandered off the topic. Let's just think.
Can we have just sort of a judgmental phase?
Here's what I think.
I'm sorry.
Let's have a judgment phase. I like that.
You know what? I've copyrighted
people whose eyes are too far apart,
and they're still making videos.
That guy on the left.
Brutal.
No, I'm kidding. I'm sure they'reutal. I'm kidding.
I'm sure they're nice guys.
So they appear to be
wildly successful,
right? Very wealthy guys.
And I don't know if it's
just this like inner rich person hate
that I suppose I shouldn't have, but
it's like, really? You didn't
get enough? You know, if it
was just the network they were putting out there,
if they said, hey, 70-30 deal,
you exist under our umbrella,
you'll get promotion from us,
you'll be like Britain's Got Talent,
like the next phase of our thing,
then it'd be one thing.
But if people don't know,
the thing about trademarks is you have to enforce them, right?
You can't selectively enforce a trademark,
or they say, no, no, no, you can't enforce it
in this case and not that case.
You are forced to enforce every trademark violation
that you can find, or you can't enforce them anymore.
That's the way it works.
You lose it if you don't pound people for it. for them to get a trademark on the word react really like it was either going
to be worthless or they were going to start copyright striking everything and they say that
was never their intention maybe it's unfair to say oh sure it was i know what you think better
than you do maybe that's not fair but to get a trademark on
react was really over the top and their format to me wasn't unique enough no like it's just a format
of getting like what irritates me a little bit like i already hashed this over on this week's
truly terrible but like they none of the content on the react is theirs really they're taking
third-party content and then they're taking other people.
And the only thing they're doing is editing.
And once in a while, like when a kid's trying fucking wasabi or like sardines,
they'll be like, what do you think of that?
And the little kid will be like, I think it's icky.
And they're like, oh, God, you slayed me.
Let's upload this and make some money.
Here's $60.
They get permission from the third.
Like, Kyle, you've been,
uh,
people have reacted to FPS Russia videos.
Yeah.
They talked to you in advance,
right?
Um,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
Philly D implied the same thing.
I think people have reacted to Philly D videos and they don't just straight up like steal your content. Like Ray,
yeah,
we talked to,
yeah,
we talked about it beforehand and we saw the video before it went live and
critiqued it and all that stuff. Yeah, they were cool about it.
I'm not sure if this is something you can answer.
Do they compensate you for that or is it just
kind of like, okay, this is just getting my name out there more?
No, they don't pay me anything.
Anything like that.
But I just thought it was a cool thing
to be done.
As far as this whole thing goes,
I don't know. I feel like if you've got some... If
there are people out there copying their graphics package as well as their format and all that
stuff, that's what would really stick it to me and I think that they've seen people out
there who do that and that was really sticking in their craw. They're probably coming from
a good place with most of this stuff,
and I'm sure they had this whole thing set up
with the help of maybe a legal team
and some other people,
and maybe it had more teeth on it
than they really wanted it to,
but someone was just recommending to them,
hey, you really need this in place to protect yourself.
But we saw what the reaction was,
and that's all that really matters, bottom line.
The real court
um you know to decide whether this is right or wrong or not was the fans and uh and they've
already their verdicts in we figured out the fine brothers might not know this but they're bad at
being in front of the camera right everyone hated everything about them these guys are
ruthless businessmen that belong behind the scenes.
Which is a real shame because when they were making short films when they first got it started,
I love some of their early short stuff, their short films.
I love some of the stuff that they started.
I thought it was really funny stuff.
But yeah, they look, I mean, let's just be frank.
I look unusual.
So I think it's safe for me to say that, you know, I mean, they don't look like everybody else.
They certainly don't look like the kind of people that you generally put in front of a camera.
You've got a very trustworthy look, though.
I look at you, I see, like, Hagrid.
I feel like you're going to look after me.
You're a wizard.
Yeah, I feel like you're going to guide me either on a magical adventure or something.
I don't know.
You look like you take care of me.
It's not that they look weird.
It's not, like, intrinsically that you look at them and you're like, that guy looks shady.
It's just the way that they carry themselves on the camera it looks uncomfortable they're kind
of like slouch things and like things like the eye roll like when raffi like you can tell yeah
a lot of people see that video like the apology videos being like um uppity or something to that
effect i saw i saw two guys in pain man i like super frustrated and super hurt by the fans backlash and stuff like that.
And I think when Rafi's rolling his eyes, I think he's not like saying, like, I think he's fucking idiots, which is what everybody thought.
I think he's thinking like, and of course we would never do that to you guys if you look at the moment of the film.
But, okay, let's play a fun little game.
We've said everything.
Can I get back?
I didn't get to finish my point.
It got cut off.
But when I was saying they were bad in front of a camera,
I wasn't picking on their physical appearance,
like the one guy that looks like that cartoon character.
I have a bigger issue.
What's the guy?
The football head?
What's his name?
Hey, Arnold.
Hey, Arnold.
Yeah, yeah.
I had a bigger issue with his hat, dude.
Maybe it's my age.
I can't get past it.
Oh, the indoor beanie. The indoor beanie thing? Oh, yeah. Maybe it's my age. I can't get past it. Oh, the indoor beanie.
The indoor beanie thing?
Dude, come on.
You're best friends with a man who wears
a paperboy cap, right?
Come on.
You cannot be friends with Chiz
and then give this man shit for some sort of beanie.
I didn't actually see the beanie.
That implies I never gave Chiz shit for the beanie.
I feel like I have.
Chiz has taken his
fair share you know also here's a good out here he's got his pka cap there's another thing chiz
is like he's probably 23 now but he was 21 you know during the paper cap thing and um these guys
what is he 35 i i apply a different standard you know if you're between like 17 and 22 or but
heck 13 and 22 and you're going through some sort of weird dress rebellion thing that no one else
does yeah you're young and kind of weird um if you're 35 you're steve Buscemi, hello, my fellow kids, with that fucking beanie on.
Oh, wow.
And that's what he came – that's how I saw it.
Look at me, right?
I'm 42.
Buscemi, huh?
Oh, my God.
Did I pronounce it wrong?
No, no, no, no.
I'm just picturing Buscemi and his crazy eyes.
Oh, no, no, no.
I wasn't talking about the physical appearance.
You know the skateboard meme, hello, my fellow kids? I thought that's what you you're doing for yeah no no no he there's a photo of him on the internet
he's a meme and then he's in a high school setting with a skateboard on his back and a hat and he's
like hey my fellow kids when clearly he doesn't look like a child that's what i was saying about
this 35 year old with the beanie i was saying like stop pretending you're a teenager i get you're on youtube and i understand that
pressure but like you got to let that go at some point you know well it was the way that they
phrased it as well because they the apology video didn't seem like it was like we're really sorry
about that it was like a we're sorry that you didn't get it right and it was like okay well
this is like around the back condescending now like are you apologizing or are you like backward getting a dig at me and it i don't know i it was
not a good way to handle it from start to finish well i think everything that you can negatively
say about the fine brothers has been said in this podcast so let's play a little fun exercise that i
learned in debate class um and then i learned through therapy we're going to try to see things
from the perspective of the Fine Brothers
briefly. From their perspective
I think this is great.
That was my initial reaction.
One of the things that I think
I cannot speak
for the Fine Brothers.
I am not
speaking for the Fine Brothers here. This is my
theory as to what they might have been
thinking. But the Fine Brothers have been doing new media for 12 years, and they have been constantly
battling with old media. And they have often felt snubbed by old media. And you can see these
examples when, for example, they were frustrated with Ellen doing a React segment on her show.
They felt that, look, old media is trying to co-opt what we're doing. I don't think what they were doing was as much fighting against new media
and keeping YouTubers from sealing their format as much as it was from the Jimmy Kimmel's
and the Ellen's and the Jimmy Fallon's from creating a sub-show or NBC creating an entire show
just called React, you know?
Hey, I got an idea, John. Let's reboot
Kids Say the Darnest Things.
We'll call it React, like that one show
on YouTube. I think that's who
their enemy was. And I think that, to be
honest with you, if you're in new media like we are,
I think old media, to some extent,
is always going to be a fairly antagonistic
relationship
to some extent, right?
I don't think they were worried about YouTubers copying their format.
But obviously that has to be the case because they had issued copyrights
and trademark infringement with Tins React, whatever.
But I don't think that was the primary target with React World.
I think the primary target was to keep some company in Germany
or some company in Scandinavia or some company in Sweden
from creating their version of React and calling it React and weakening what they consider to be their brand.
And especially afraid that that would show up on the Scandinavian television or, God forbid, American television,
completely dismantling what they've built.
And when you see it from that perspective, I think it's a very reasonable thing.
I don't think they thought it through well enough
to realize the impact it would have on YouTube.
I don't think they really fully realized
what they would have to do to protect that trademark.
Like what he said,
you have to actively defend that trademark.
And they would have to have actively defended it on YouTube.
And so I don't know if they fully realized that or whoever the legal team was and at the end of the day i feel like they just put
their foot in a bear trap and realized oh man you know the internet's not going to stand for this
and we're not going to be able to do it and holy shit the idea is flawed i'm sure right now if you
could talk if we could have raffy or we could have benny on the show right now they tell you
no you're right the plan was flawed from the beginning we should we fucked up yeah i'm sure they will say that
the tv show part that makes sense it's just like they could if they only did the word react like
they it makes sense that they couldn't have a tv show called elders react but if they want to do
something called seniors say on tv and it's the exact same thing it's like you can't copyright
the idea of making someone respond to something.
So it's like, what are you really protecting here?
Just the word react?
And that's the biggest flaw.
And you can see a lot of videos that showed up on the front page of Reddit.
They really break down to the fact that what they consider to be their format
isn't really their format.
I mean, the question time and kids react and the graphics
and the kids that they use and the background, that is all theirs.
But the format itself is not really licensable, if that makes sense.
Perfect.
So last week we talked about this a little bit too, and I'm glad that I shut up and let you guys finish.
But they seem to think that their idea and concept is much broader than a reasonable person would.
Oh yeah, yeah, here it is. The thing that I
own is I show you a thing
and then I film how you react to it.
Oh, fuck off. This is
kids say the darndest things. This is
React video. I love the 80s.
I love the 80s. Beavis and Butthead, for God's
sakes. Yeah, it's just way
too... Oh yeah, I forgot. Beavis
and Butthead would do that a lot. Yeah, it just way too, oh yeah, I forgot, Beavis and Butter would do that a lot.
Yeah,
they would.
Oh,
yeah.
That was the entire premise
of the show
for the first season
was they sat and watched
rock music videos
and then reacted to it.
It was,
you know.
Yeah.
That's the entire premise.
That's a great example
and predates YouTube,
let alone Fine Brothers.
Right,
we're talking 1990
for Beavis and Butter.
Yeah,
predates the internet.
So, so yeah, anyway, let alone Fine Brothers. We're talking 1990 for a Beavis and Butter. Predates the internet. So yeah.
Anyway.
Final verdict. Guilty!
Guilty! They overreached.
They overstepped. Hey, you mentioned debate class.
I just thought I'd mention my
daughter's latest piece of hardware.
Oh, very cool.
Is that first place?
Oh, please. Of course it is. is there's two cameras so i'll show
you guys next first and last baby first and last i feel really depressed for you and hope if you
like brought in a third place medal or like you're like have your thumb on the bottom covering the
word participation i um yeah no she she gets she doesn't always get first place, but this is her most recent competition.
And it's weird for me.
What was she debating?
So she doesn't do debate.
What she does is different speech events.
I could go on forever, but for people who know, she does POI, OI, and another one too.
This one's OI, oral oral interpretation and oh original oratory is
the other one she does and basically in two of them you like read from a binder and your feet
have to be planted and it's all based on your delivery almost like a talent that a radio person
would have and then another one you write it and you deliver it. And I think you can move your feet too.
So it's more like a monologue Broadway type thing.
So it's like a performance more than like,
I put to you that it doesn't.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So the debate stuff, if you've never seen debate,
I don't like the format.
The way that it works is is she doesn't do debate, but one team lays out as many assertions
as possible. And then the other team counters as many of those assertions as possible. And then
it flips back and forth. So what you get are not persuasive arguments, but rapid fire, just laying
out as many assertions as you can and wrap how fast you talk
is a big part of it how quickly your team can research the counters is a big part of it and
nothing is about the delivery or how you're just rushing them with arguments like oh that one
failed just send another one yeah yeah and it's just like you know whatever guns are bad if you
have more guns there'll be more violence if you have more guns, there'll be more violence. If you have more guns, there'll be more gun deaths. If you have this, if you have that that would prepare you for, say, a presidential debate
where there's some amount of likability and persuasion
or I could say a thing
and then you respond with a clever zinger way of...
Obama and Romney.
I think Romney was four more naval ships
and he knocked Obama for cutting it.
And he's like, well, we would cut the horse and buggy budget two times have moved on and now we have submarine that's what did he
say that whips and baby that was his thing he's like we cut horses and
bayonets okay yeah yeah he cut horses and bayonets and now you know we shifted
money from ships to submarines and it got play the next day it like the fact
that it was a counter combined with a zinger mattered a lot.
And I think in real life it does too.
If you want to build skills that help you present at work or make your way on YouTube or in Hollywood or in life or on the sales floor of a car dealership, the kinds of skills, according to me, that you build in the different speech events are cooler than the kinds of skills you build in the debate events.
It's actually interesting. I did extemporaneous speaking in high school. And it's really funny
if you look at what all the things that I took in in high school, I thought I was going into
the science field. So I took chemistry and I took AP English and AP calculus and all this stuff.
And I've never, I haven't done math in 15 years.
But what I have done is I've spoken every day.
So all the speech stuff, extemporaneous speaking and debate and all that stuff,
the one-act play for the acting, the video gaming that I did,
obviously that carries over.
All the computer skills that I learned, all that carried over.
And it's really, I think it's so important to get a well-rounded education
that includes some of that arts and includes some of that debate and include some of that speaking because that's a
skill that you'll use every day for the rest of your life and unless you're an extreme extrovert
i guess but even then that's something i wish i tried debate seems like fun like from the outside
looking in or now hearing stories from people who used to do it i bet that would have been a lot of
fun debate camp i know melissa used to do that. In my computer programming career, at first, I hated giving presentations.
As a matter of fact, I looked down on people who gave presentations, right? Real engineers exist in
an IDE, the integrated development environment, not PowerPoint, right? It's IDE, not PPT. And then I
had a manager who forced me to present stuff.
Basically, she felt like if I was out there bragging about the accomplishments that happened
under her, it would be good for everybody. And it was. And I went at it super hardcore,
and I got good at it because I was scared. And I just sort of started really nailing the like five to 20 minute presentation aspect of my job.
And because I worked in a field where a lot of people aren't good speakers or maybe even English isn't their first language.
Like I brag that I'm like in the top 1% of Cisco IT athletes.
I was also in the top 1% of Cisco IT speakers.
And it turned out to really help me.
When I came to YouTube, I felt like that experience that I had honed at Cisco,
like presenting professionally all the time,
carried over really well into making YouTube videos.
How were you at the furry cook-off every year?
Bottom 1%.
Bottom 1%.
Yeah, yeah.
No, they would do – Dude, they have a...
What is it called?
Like a pot cookout?
Like where everyone brings a pot?
It's not pot roast, but like...
Potluck?
Potluck.
Thank you.
That's what I was going for.
Potlucks in Cisco IT were shit.
Absolutely.
Do you bring beef chili just to troll everyone so you'd have your own?
I would bring like brownies or something that my wife made.
But everyone else is bringing like spicy thin bread and you're like what the fuck is this you try to like take a bite of the bread and it bites you back and you're like good i don't know
it was just it was the worst potluck environment ever oh indian food's great it is not it is not
it's just it's all brown mush that
There is some brown mush in there and it's
delicious. Oh, teak masala?
It's great. I love food and
I have had Indian twice and
both times I left just, I could not
handle it. It was either
spicy mush or
like some of it was fermented
mush, but it was all pretty much just
mush and it just, none of it it made sense in my brain as food,
which is a shame because everything makes sense in my brain as food.
Shocking.
Yeah, I'm paying attention.
When you started talking about Indian food, I was like,
let's perk your ears up.
Listen up.
Let's absorb some knowledge.
I've had a lot of Indian food.
I've eaten lunch with Indian guys like 4,000 times.
And yeah, it's mostly mush.
It's mostly brown.
They put different names on it.
It's mostly vegetarian.
And it's mostly the same to me.
Well, the vegetarian stuff sucks.
I've had good experiences three times.
I always like it.
Maybe you're eating at better restaurants.
I will say this.
When you leave an Indian restaurant, you're not hungry.
It's very rich, and it's usually buffet.
That's true.
So they fill you up, that's for sure.
You want to talk about a terrible potluck.
I have about 20 nerd friends that come over every Saturday.
Sometimes we film YouTube sketches,
and sometimes we just sit around and play Smash Brothers and draft Magic Cube.
But my wife cooks every time.
And she's gotten to where she's incredible at cooking for 20 people now.
It's just what she wants to do with her Saturdays.
I don't ask her to do it.
I don't beg her to do it.
It's just something she likes to do.
But every once in a while, she'll end up having to do something else that Saturday
or not be able to cook or her work week.
She's working 60-hour weeks sometimes.
We've tried two potlucks. One time
it was okay, but one time
everyone brought bags of chips because we didn't
assign. It was all a bunch of terrible
bachelor nerds, right?
We ended up with like 20 bags
of chips. That's all we got.
Chip again. It was so bad. I'll take
the Cape Cods. What a depressing
potluck.
Who's not here yet? Kevin, Chris, and Steve?
Call them.
Oh, shit. That's the door.
More Cool Ranch.
No plates.
No soda.
No soda. No beer.
Just Doritos. Is it time for a new topic?
I've got two. Okay, that was one of them.
Yeah, yeah. So Lefty made a video today. I want to talk about Lefty. I've got two. Okay, that was one of them. Yeah, yeah.
So Lefty made a video today.
I know Boogie hasn't seen it.
It was 17 minutes long.
Very nice.
It was kind of like, hey, this is my hello and goodbye.
I felt like I left YouTube without really putting a bow on it.
And he thanked a bunch of people.
He thanked Wings enormously.
He thanked us on the podcast.
Really didn't bring up any of the negative. Only talked about the positive.
And told us what he was up to.
He's pursuing the voice acting
thing hard. It seemed like he got
a bunch of regional things,
although he said national for something, but
I didn't catch what that was.
And he made it
pretty deep into a voiceover show for the Discovery Channel,
but they ended up going with somebody else.
He said a blonde bombshell.
He wasn't really sure.
But he aspires to be like in a micro position where you hear him all the time.
He's got a great voice for it.
You know, I was listening to him and i was his audio was
fantastic in the video and i was like you know i feel like good audio is a little bit like good
photography right a lot of people think oh you just buy the right camera and suddenly i'll be
a fantastic photographer that's not right there's a couple aspects of it one is good equipment let's
not deny it that it helps to have better gear than worse gear so that's a couple aspects of it. One is good equipment. Let's not deny it that it helps to have
better gear than worse gear. So that's a part of it. Setting up the equipment, right? Like a
photographer, setting it up as a thing. There's, there's your three things that do light, right?
The, the exposure, the aperture and the shutter speed aperture and the ISO, right? Those are the
two things that make a picture with audio. There's a similar type of thing, you know, setting it up, getting your levels right.
And then there's an artistic side of it.
You know, early on, I just wanted as much bass as possible.
Make me sound like a man's man.
And then as my tastes evolved, I was like, you know, that sounds kind of muddy.
Like, I don't even like that look of it.
Lefty somehow sounds very good and still, like,'t miss the highs like he's got a setup done just
right he's very professional in his audio and I was like huh lefty is the
audio visual audio version of a pretty good photographer and I caught that in
his video so so that's what he's doing he asp aspires to be a busy voice actor.
It's good to see that he's doing well.
It seems like he is.
Kyle, you seem to get something to go into.
Oh, I don't know.
Chiz saw the video, came out today,
and so we pulled it up on the TV and watched it.
I thought it was pretty good.
It was long.
17 minutes, that's lefty.
He beats around the bush until it falls over dead.
But I appreciated his kind words about everyone involved with the whole thing.
As always, nice guy.
Wish him the best.
Hope he does well with his podcast, I guess, that he's going to do.
Yeah, I don't know if it's for business or for fun,
but he's starting a podcast. Yeah, he's... I don't know if it's for business or for fun, but he's starting a podcast.
It's mostly sports-oriented,
and he has a partner.
I didn't know his partner,
but I guess it's a two-man sort of sports-oriented show.
I know he did a sports thing before he did gaming,
so I guess he has a passion for it.
You said you saw the pictures of Chiz all iced over?
I did. Yeah, yeah. Wait, did you say you said you saw the pictures of chis all iced over i did yeah yeah
we text those um you probably did yeah oh okay yeah we um so we we've got ourselves a cabin out in colorado and they we had they had a serious snowstorm on our way in here uh i drove through
the night and like the ice and snow to get here. But anyway, there's like, I don't know, two feet of snow on the ground, something like that.
So we hooked an inner tube up behind the SUV today,
and he drug us through the driveway really fast.
And Chiz took a pretty violent crash into no man's land.
And by the time he got back to the house,
he's got a beard right now, and the whole beard was just ice and snow and he like cough
He's he like cough slash sneeze slash chokes and like ice comes out of his like respiratory system
So we had a good time today everybody was on that energy Paul and ass and flying through the air and wrecking
I got on there with my girlfriend
and we both crashed at the same time and just went off into the soft whiteness that is the
the field next to the road nice little rom-com moment where you both tumble off laughing
no we weren't laughing we crashed screaming and terrified face first into the snow
and she goes my back's broken my back's broken she My back's broken. She's like, I heard it snap.
Dude, that's risky business doing shit like that.
One of my friends was skiing and got really arrogant about it
and convinced himself that he could go down like this double black without ski poles,
which isn't even like a thing where it's like, oh, man, look at that guy.
He's not using poles.
He must be great at skiing.
It's like you're just getting rid of something that's unnecessary like that is kind of necessary to be better and he ran into a tree going must have been like 40
miles an hour concussed himself and to this day every time i see him i'm always like hey when
are you getting those teeth put back in and he's like uh as soon as i get insurance then it's like
all right these four teeth all knocked out and like anytime he has to eat like if you take him
out to eat as soon as the food comes he just pulls them anytime he has to eat, like, if you take him out to eat,
as soon as the food comes,
he just pulls them out,
just has no front teeth like an old fogey.
It's really gross, but, yeah, that shit's dangerous.
I don't know anything about cold weather hygiene,
so I don't really know how to have fun in all the snow and ice.
Hygienics.
Is that what you just said?
Yeah, you know, stuff that we can do out there,
because we've got, like, a vehicle and some inner tubes and some sleds.
I heard hygiene.
I heard hygiene too.
Just brush your teeth like normal.
Yeah, yeah.
It's really the same as warm weather hygiene.
Well, you don't sweat,
so you don't need to bathe.
I'm not struggling with my cold weather hygiene.
I'm struggling with cold weather activities that I can do outside,
silly stuff that I can do.
I built a ramp today in the snow, but it didn't work.
I don't know. We've got to come up with something else fun to do.
Last night, I went to the refrigerator and I heard this water spraying,
like really high pressure water, which made no sense.
It sounded like a downpour.
So I go out in the garage and look, and this house has one of those.
The heating system in this house is those pipes under the floor.
It's a heated floor heating system deal.
Yeah, really wonderful thing.
But the pipes had burst from corrosion, like out where they go into the pump,
the hot water pump out in the garage.
So there's, like, water spraying all over all this stuff that says danger, high voltage.
And I'm just, just like looking at it
like this isn't my problem i shouldn't have to fucking deal with this so i'm like knocking on
kitties we're like kidding there's a problem for you to take care of out here so uh we got the
owner and i think they fixed it they said the pipes version corrosion so that was a little
interesting night.
So far, I'm not really sure what to do for fun other than throw snowballs at each other
and ride that inner tube,
but I want to do something interesting
before we leave here.
Snowmobile, maybe?
Sledding's not working.
I guess it's the same as the inner tube.
Are you far from your mic, Kyle?
You're quiet for me.
You're a little quiet, Kyle.
That far? That's not too far. You're a little quiet, Kyle.
That far? That's not too far.
Maybe just turn the dial.
Can Chiz hear you?
Can Chiz hear me now?
That's much higher. That must be good.
That's much better.
I don't know. He might be able to hear me. I'm upstairs right now.
I was just going to talk about pranks because you need to have some hijinks on Chiz.
You could freeze all the poo and toothpaste
and stuff like that
I opened the window in his room
the first night and it got down
to like 4 degrees in his bedroom
before we told him
and I only told him because
those pipes burst and I was worried it might have
had something to do with that
I was like did I just open his window and burst
the pipes in his bathroom
and that's why this is leaking?
But it turned out it wasn't.
So I haven't fucked with him too much.
We've had a good time so far.
It's been really fun here.
You know, so we had Philly D on the show last week
and he was saying that he really wanted to invest
in the pot business, right?
Me too.
Like there aren't a lot of... I invest in the S&P 500, right? Which is the market
sort of broadly. And I invest that the population will keep growing and the economy and the S&P 500
will go up. And that's a real general broad thing. If I were to pick a sector, I feel like
marijuana is a good one, but God, it's hard to pick reasonable stocks.
Like, first of all, what do I mean?
Okay, so a lot of the stocks are penny stocks.
They literally sell for like three cents,
or the stock will have a market cap of like $2 million,
which is to say the entire company
is worth like $2 million. Fuckers, like say the entire company is worth like two million dollars.
Fuckers, like I think Woody Craft is worth that much.
It's like, I don't want to invest in something that small.
I want something bigger.
And I'm trying to think what else is there to say.
The, a lot of people say, hey, if you want to invest
in something legal, like if there's a gold rush, it's a good time to be in the pick and shovel business, right?
That's like a kind of an investing cliche.
Also, it's completely legal and therefore it's slightly less risky to invest in like the lamps and the hydration systems and all those other things that might form as an offshoot of it.
that might form as an offshoot of it.
But damn, I don't know how to pick the lighting or hydration system that's supposed to be it.
A lot of the pot plays that you see
have to do with medical marijuana.
Like, hey, is it CBD?
Is that what the one is?
You get some of the benefits that pot might bring you
as a medicine, but not the high that comes with it?
And like this is a weird biotech play that I barely understand.
I am like I want to invest in an aspect of pot that one I understand, not some weird biotech thing that competes with every other drug that's ever been invented to solve this
problem and um and i wished it was a little closer to pot and not just a light bulb company
but it's super hard to find i'm like maybe i should really really get into this what does
it take to own a mutual fund like that's you know a huge thing yeah and start your own start your own mutual fund i i would
there you go my door just opened um but yeah that like that's been on i get all kinds of crazy
flyers of an idea but um how interesting would it be if you became some sort of uh some marijuana
kingpin and you don't even smoke oh that'd be great you're like the godfather of the marijuana
mutual fund used That's pretty
interesting. I swear, like, I'm like, what does it take? Do I just need to like get an SS7 or
something? I don't even know. And get, like, I could probably pass a test. I have an accounting
degree. So I feel like a lot of the basics that it would take to pass these certifications,
I either own or I have the foundation that it would take to learn,
more so than like a regular guy, right?
So I'm like, ah, maybe I could like pass some test,
own a stock and see where the hell that goes.
But it is, I think, difficult to invest in pot right now
because no one's making these right investments
or simplifying it.
It's a big deal here it seems. Like every town we drive through there's like
multi- we see the green, you know it's like the Red Cross symbol but it's green. So there's
dispensaries everywhere cropped up and it seems like the majority of them are medical
but you know there's recreational marijuana places.
It seems like it's going to be a huge benefit everywhere it goes so much money to be made uh like so many uh what is it how much money went to their schools
in colorado a ludicrous amount went to their uh their public education system yeah drunk driving
is down uh everything it looks like there's like no downsides to it like i'm sure that there's a
pothead here there who smokes their whole day away but that's going to happen with anything
yeah that guy's going to be addicted to something, right? I will say that I have never partook.
I had edibles once a long time ago and did not find it very exciting, and then I smoked out of
a hookah once, and it just made me tired and kind of silly, and that's about it. But I've been told
that I would benefit a lot from the medical benefits when it came to lower
back pain and inflammation and things along that lines. So I've been really interested in the last,
because I mean, that was 15 years ago that I've ever touched it. I've been interested in it,
but I live in the state of Arkansas who does not know how to vote for its own best interest.
We voted to refuse Medicaid. And now we also voted
to refuse like by a landslide to refuse medical marijuana in the state. And it's just mind
boggling to me that there's all these cancer patients, there's all these miserable, miserable
people who could genuinely benefit from medicinal marijuana. And like what he said, they're working
on strains that don't even get you high, they give you the medicinal effect and those are what would be getting sold in the dispensaries
two or three years from now here in the state of arkansas which is very very conservative state
no you don't even get access to that fuck you and i i might benefit from it and i'll never know
because i'm not going to risk my freedom uh i'm not you know trying to do a drug deal in the
streets of northwest arkansas i'm not even going to think about it.
Northwest Arkansas, drug country.
It's funny.
Arkansas cops are good cops.
Please don't swap me.
They're good cops, and they tend to be very, very good people,
and they tend to do very, very good jobs.
I know back in the Clinton administration, like in the 90s, they had a bad rap, but they've
always been fairly good here. And it's funny,
they tend to leave the pot dealers
and the potheads alone for the most part.
He was the governor. Oh, right, he was
the governor at the time, yeah.
But
they tended to not bust those guys
too terribly often in Arkansas, unless
it's like a slow month,
and there's like all the meth labs have been shut down recently
and we've got to make a bus this month or we're going to bust.
Well, let's just go get the pot dealer down on Dixon Street real quick
and let's get him.
We've got to do something to make our jobs look valuable.
That's the real problem in all these Midwest states.
I guess you can consider Kentucky Midwest or South or whatever.
There's so much meth all over the place.
Just walking into any gas station in mid Missouri in the boonies.
It's like,
it's not even a mystery of like,
I wonder if that guy has been up to something.
It's like,
no,
he's got like a Gatorade bottle with a bunch of creepy looking gas in there.
And he's walking out.
There's,
there's something going on.
And when you get high on meth,
it's nobody who has cancer wants meth yeah like
to help them never know i mean yeah right i have no idea maybe in arkansas it's oxy and meth are
the two oh yeah oxycontin is still like crazy crazy and i i'll be honest with you even with
all the pain that i'm in i still don't take anything other than the stronger than the
ibuprofen and the proxen i've tried hydrocodone a couple of times and I've had it like prescribed,
like, you know, a little short burst of 10 days worth.
And most of the time I wouldn't even finish that prescription
because I know that I have a very addictive personality.
I come from a long line of pill addicts.
And so it's like terrifies me to ever touch the stuff.
But one time I took hydrocodone.
I took one when i was
not in a lot of pain and it was right after like just right after taking one previously and i'm
like sitting there playing world of warcraft and i'm like holy shit this game is awesome wow
everything is great i love everything man this soda i'm drinking is delicious and like why am
i euphoric right now like i'm actually euoric, which is weird because at that time I was so depressed I couldn't be happy, much less euphoric.
And I'm like, what the hell?
This is great.
And then I, like, look over the bottle of hydrocodone and I'm like, oh.
And then I flushed them down the garbage disposal because I know I can't tangle with that.
You don't drink either, do you?
No, no.
Long, long.
I picked the vice. It was food and I ran do you? No. I picked the vice.
It was food and I ran with it, baby.
That's the one I wrote.
Nicely done.
Another bit of a topic change.
It's more of a question. I just want to ask Taylor
before we go any further. Have you seen the new
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? I have.
I felt like it was
incredibly redeeming. I felt like it was an excellent
episode. I thought it was fine.
Go ahead and start describing it.
I don't care. It has to do with the rent.
They go to the suburbs.
Oh, no.
I haven't seen that one yet.
I usually watch it right after PKA.
She and I were laughing our asses off.
Is there a way to legally
stream that?
I'm trying to find a way. I don't have cable and I want to our asses off. Is there a way to legally stream that? I'm trying to find a way.
I don't have cable, and I want to watch the new season.
I just finished season 10.
It's on Amazon?
Okay, good.
Currently?
They've got the newest episodes on it?
Yeah, you've got to pay.
You've got to buy them.
Okay, well, yeah.
Oh, you have to buy them each week.
I started paying for TV shows on a pretty regular,
like through Xbox or whatever whatever I don't even mind
anymore I don't even care I just don't even think about YouTube money well that's the thing this is
this is what I figure a lot of my fans who watch the shows I talk about are gonna pirate them right
someone's got to pay for it right like someone's got to be the guy who puts money into the coffer
and so let me be that guy thank you for the the donations on Twitch. Thank you for the YouTube money.
Thank you for that.
I will pay for the TV show
so you don't have to.
Thank you for taking that bullet for me.
I'm not paying.
So you think it was way better
than any other episode this season?
It's one of the best episodes ever,
in my opinion.
Well, I don't care what Woody says.
Nobody does.
Excellent.
It was so good
so you see dennis uh really starts snapping like a genuine psychopath where to the point where he's
having like he comes unglued he's like have you ever been in a storm wally where it's just fists
raining down upon your body. He just completely snaps.
I really love this episode.
I thought it was great.
Is your Skype volume set to auto-adjust?
It could be.
I don't know how to adjust it in this app.
Are you on a Mac or a PC?
Oh, are you on a web app?
Yep.
That's what it is, I think.
I think as soon as you get excited,
you're just fucking muted for the
rest yeah i'll try to be very monotonous and i will say always sunny is one of those shows that
i i never stay current on it but uh i i re-watched that entire series about once a year for some
reason i don't know what it is it's a feel-good show for me like i watch it and i it's kind of
like i forget about all the problems,
and I watch these people with really awful lives bicker amongst themselves
for half an hour.
I like it.
Same with Archer for me.
I'm excited for the new season of Archer.
Very much so.
I don't remember if it was last season or the one before
where they got with the cocaine.
That one really fell off for me and wasn't nearly as good
as all the other ones.
But the new one is like Archer, Private Investigator. man hot pam was awesome i like every season of archer i
like archer a lot um i like always sunny this season more than you guys seem to but i thought
the most the most recent one was like a 25 minute snl sketch like they had a very small premise of an idea move here get bored
and then they just fucking retell that joke for 25 minutes until the end when there's a twist
that's it's a good snl sketch it was kind of like the 80s one the 80s ski one where they had like a
little grain of an idea and they realized halfway through they just were stretching no this one's
chock full of jokes this was chock full of jokes. This one's chock full of jokes.
Dennis is slowly deteriorating from the situation he's having to live in.
Mac and Dennis have taken on a traditional 50s housewife sort of spousal relationship
where Mac is staying home and being the housewife,
and Dennis is going off to work.
He's dealing with traffic because now there's a commute,
and he's just screaming in traffic.
You fat bitch! You fat whore!
He's just losing his shit.
He's got this whole feud with one of the neighbors.
I thought it was chock full of funniness.
We were laughing our asses off the whole time.
Like the Mac thing? No, Mac.
Dennis getting mad at people is exactly what I'm talking about with that SNL sketch thing.
Like, oh, I get it.
He thinks the neighbor's boring.
Let's just tell that joke seven fucking times.
Just escalate it up.
Oh, I get it.
He doesn't like commuting.
Let's just do that again and again and again and again and again and again
until the show thankfully ends.
That was my take on the most recent Always Sunny.
Watching so much media after hearing it from Woody and Kyle recently,
has been so confusing.
I'll watch whatever you're talking about,
and I'll see something I like,
and I'm like, you know what?
Kyle's on to something.
And then there'll be some hokey joke,
and I'll be like, maybe Woody's winning me over.
You guys have been so disparate recently.
Yeah, well, I'll say this.
Kyle didn't like Always Sunny all season long.
Goes to Colorado. Best episode ever.
That's not true at all.
That's true.
What should have made it better in Colorado?
Probably a good day of skiing. You get tired,
you know?
The way I see the season so far, I think
the first episode was very good. Charlie McDennis,
two electric boogaloo. I've seen it
five fucking times now. That one's like a 7 out of 10 for me. The second episode is the clip. Charlie McDennis, two electric boogaloo. I've seen it five fucking times now.
That one's like a seven out of ten for me.
The second episode is the clip show.
That's like a five out of ten for me.
The third episode is the ski resort episode, and that's like a three out of ten.
That's really, really lame, really sucks.
And then the fourth episode last week, I'm having a hard time placing, but I thought it was good but not great.
This one, to me, was amazing.
Chiz and I both agreed that Dennis gets naked.
I think the criticism I made of you fits Chiz better.
He hated this season with a passion,
and then he gets to Colorado, and suddenly it's awesome.
I'm sure he's sampling the wares there.
Yeah, music is more interesting too.
And even a warm shower.
Have you noticed every raindrop?
They're wonderful.
I think it's weird when people get ripped on when you're like,
oh, where are you going for vacation this winter?
Like, oh, we're going to Colorado to ski.
It's like, oh, Colorado, are you going to smoke pot?
It's like, yeah, yeah, it's legal there.
Why would you think you caught me? Where it's like, oh, no, you's legal there. Why would, what do you think you caught me?
Where it's like, oh no, you're going to think less of me for smoking legal weed. It's like,
why not go there and try it out? I don't want to go there and walk into one of those stores and
talk to the hippie and him be like, oh, you know, eat this, but only eat like a third of it. Like,
I want nothing to do with those super strong edibles. Cause that seems like it just ruined
you for a day and a half. Also the timing on the edibles thing. Like it would be a turnoff.
Again, I'm not an expert, but like they're like,
oh yeah, this will hit you anywhere
between like 30 minutes and three hours from now.
I'm like, really?
How do I know when it hits?
Like, how do I even do this?
How do I know how hard it is?
How do I regulate?
Like if hypothetically edibles hit you
like within two minutes, you could be like,
all right, let's scale it one to 10.
I'm kind of three in here. Let's double double down if it's two and a half hours then like yeah usually you get
impatient at like an hour 45 and you're like fuck this like i'm taking two more like i guess my
tolerance is just so strong and then you just start vibrating and just oh shit there are some
people who have crazy talent there's a there talent there's a person here who is eating
large amounts of edibles
cheese
cheese that you just have
regular brownies
yeah I saw somebody
smoking like an adult
I saw somebody in our comments
it was giving a shit because we were supposedly
really ignorant about our marijuana stuff
talk that we had a few weeks ago.
And then I go back and look at all of their beefs with the things
we said and everyone was opinion based.
He's mad because we said a thing tasted
a certain way. He's mad because we say a thing
looks a certain way. And I'm sorry
but those dab rigs, people doing dabs,
it does look like the meth
of marijuana. And I don't know
if you're okay with it, Woody, but there is a gentleman downstairs
who has a dab rig and he'll burn one right now and show
you it looks scary as fuck
hey bring it up yeah haven't I'm afraid is this okay on YouTube is this gonna be
on my channel that's that's why he asked if I was okay I don't care if he smokes
I worry about smoking on my channel that like Colorado though so it's legal there
is it like having a beer is it within YouTube standards, though? I think terms and conditions of illegal drug use,
but since it would be illegal somewhere, maybe.
Who knows?
I would never tempt YouTube to do anything to me ever,
so I don't know.
I'd be crazy safe.
Think it over, and if you'd like,
I could spin this camera around,
and it's set up right there.
It's semi-interesting because um like a dab okay
it looks like a woodworker's booger like some sort of that doesn't mean oh that was the other
thing that he was mad that because we described it as looking like earwax and stuff okay that's
better but a big one like like a caterpillar earwax all right so a dab is um is synonymous
with anything any concentrate that you're putting in that rig.
The dab is like the motion, I guess, you're using to put it in there.
But there's like wax and shatter,
and the difference has to do with how it's made.
The chemical process is used.
But they're all marijuana concentrate,
so I think that it's probably best just to call it that
so we don't offend any of our cock-sucking audience.
The guy who called us ignorant about this stuff who smokes a gram of oil a day the guy who called us ignorant was
probably right about me i'm not the expert but um there's like torches and superheated titanium
nails that like you you burn this nail to some ridiculous temperature you put it in this like
dollop of earwax and then it turns into a fume
that you... What am I getting
wrong?
It is called a nail,
but that's kind of confusing because you're probably imagining a nail.
Basically, he's got a
titanium bowl, really, on the end
of a standard bong type thing.
Like you said, he's taking a propane
torch and heating that titanium
bowl up until it is red hot, until it's glowing.
And then he's got...
Can I interrupt?
You use titanium, apparently, because it gets even hotter than more common metals.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I think they use ceramic in those things, too.
So he heats it up super hot.
And then on the end of this little steel pick, he's got some of the concentrate, which is like waxy and sticky and kind of like amber.
And while he inhales, he sticks that inside that titanium bowl and kind of smears it around
in there.
And that immediately like vaporizes it because of the high heat.
And he just inhales this stream of incredibly concentrated vapor.
And it comes with with the THC percentage
written on the side.
It's like 85%
THC or something like that.
The vapor is cool though, right?
Pardon?
The vapor is cool.
From the reactions that I've
seen from people, it is not cool.
I'm talking about
literally the temperature.
I am as well.
It's going to be hot.
People are fanning their faces and coughing
and tears running down their eyes.
What is the one that's cool?
I guess when you vape it, it's cool?
That is that
volcano vaporizer thing.
It goes into a bag.
It's not burning.
It's at 370 into a bag. It's not burning. It's like at 370
degrees, roughly.
It fills that
plastic bag up with that
room temperature vapor that you can
inhale at your leisure.
I've learned so much about
marijuana today.
The only thing I know about marijuana is this
conversation and watching Trailer Park Boys.
That's all I know.
That's all you need to know. That's all I know.
That's all you need to know.
And you also know.
That's an excellent show.
It's nearly guaranteed to get more legal across the country over the next decade.
Oh, absolutely.
And I just feel like, dude, there's money to be made here.
In this conversation, I've actually thought to myself, I thought to myself, you know, if I ever wanted to try it, and I'm still afraid of breaking the law because I did not want to go to jail. I never want to go to jail. Please never
put me in jail. I don't think you'd like it. Jail is so bad. I would like to travel to Colorado
where it's perfectly legal, like you were saying, and then I could try it there. But then I realized,
what if I liked it? Then I would have to move my very lucrative business from arkansas where i pay a lot in state taxes to colorado and you wouldn't
want that would you state of arkansas so you should probably get your shit together you can
get the you know we're talking about the cbd pain relief stuff like they make pain relief patches
like you could get at any other store but it's cbd instead um we were just uh we we went to
dispensary and like i'm it's so interesting to see.
I've never seen anything like that before.
They've got a whole...
To see the process,
the way everything works,
they've got these fancy chopsticks
that they're grabbing weed
out of enormous jars.
The whole place just stinks.
Just skunky.
Is it a bad, ugly smell?
You make it seem really unpleasant.
Usually the way pot smells
is people who don't smoke
or think it smells like skunks are really just kind of shitty and if it's a really strong smell
of weed then yeah it does it'll kind of smell i don't like it if i walk in somewhere and i can
smell a really dank like just ripe weed smell it's like oh well there we go but if it's just
like a tiny little amount you can kind of ignore it Like not nearly as bad. Woody would hate it way less than cigarette smoke.
I can guarantee you that.
I mean, I feel like even though I haven't smoked much, or barely.
Anyway, my mom's watching that one time as an adult.
But I feel like everyone like instantly kind of recognizes pot smell.
Like you just know it.
I remember the first time I ever smelled it,
I was on a bus on a trip to go skiing up north.
We would take these buses to New York and Vermont,
and they were smoking pot in the back of the bus,
and it was just like, whew.
You knew it.
That's pot.
Something about odors, they get burned into your head.
Yeah, yeah. They definitely do. you smell that same smell 10 years later and it brings back the whole memory um i
was watching something and they explained how that works how that you know yes the strongest
sense tied to memory yeah sense of smell yeah it's interesting but um but yeah this has been
an interesting trip so far i really love this fucking cabin that we're in.
This place is badass.
Yeah, it's so rustic.
It's awesome.
Yeah, it's really huge. It's like I'm upstairs right now.
So this is just, like I said, this is the upstairs bit.
But there's like a bedroom.
There's three bedrooms up here.
And then there's a lot more downstairs.
The downstairs is massive.
And the whole place is just giant glass windows.
We can see the mountains and everything.
I like it a lot here.
What's on the docket for you guys tonight
aside from trying to beat Chisholm Risk?
I think everybody's being quiet right now
or they're taking naps or whatever
because I'm doing the show.
Or maybe they don't want to use the Wi-Fi
while I'm using it.
But we have been just hanging out
and watching a lot of TV and cooking
and eating and just playing in the snow and stuff.
New topic?
Yeah, sure.
So the 2016 NBA All-Stars have been selected,
or the game just happened,
and there were zero white players selected.
So I feel like, I don't know,
white players matter should be a hashtag that's trending.
I'm boycotting the NBA All-Star game.
I feel like until they can get some white representation in that game,
I refuse to watch.
I want my people to be represented.
What about the coaches? Are either of the coaches even white? I don't think there were any black people in the NHL I refuse to watch. I want my people to be represented. What about the coaches?
Are either of the coaches even white?
I don't think there were any black people in the NHL All-Star game.
So I think it's...
Did they even let us put the floor in their game?
Did they even let us do that?
I'll tell you what pisses me off is I don't know of any sport that has really fat guys
represented, and that's pissing me off.
That's fucking ableist.
Okay, sumo.
Everybody brings up sumo. Where's the fat basketball players? There aren't any. That's fucking ableist. Okay, sumo. Everybody brings up sumo.
Where's the fat basketball players?
There aren't any. That's true. O-line.
O-lineman. Phil Kessel
in the NHL. He's a little fat.
And he's great.
Those are just little fat.
That's not...
They're ableist, right?
Oh, I need 500-600 pounds overweight
before it really matters, before I feel
represented.
Yeah, what sport, someone your size, what do you want them to be in?
Like one of the four major sports, someone your size.
All of the sports.
All of the time.
Why should there ever be anything I'm slightly excluded from?
That's the best way to put it I've ever heard.
Why should there be anything I'm excluded from?
I would like to see a team sport with a really big guy and a normal-sized guy,
and they have to work together.
I'd like to see a wheelbarrow challenge where he has to transport you for a challenge.
And eventually the fat guy is just like, put me in the wheelbarrow.
I think he means the hold-your-feet kind of wheelbarrow.
Oh, I got you.
Oh, God.
No, it's the guard game. Get in of wheelbarrow. Oh, I got you. Oh, God. No, it's the guard knee.
Get in the wheelbarrow.
Oh, I follow.
What did you think about the NBA thing, Woody?
I thought there was a parallel to the Oscars in there.
The fact that there were no white basketball players, really.
Not a single white basketball player was good enough this year.
You know what?
Yeah.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Just maybe this year. The top, I don't know how many all-stars there are 24 maybe uh they're 22 maybe the top 24 22 players in basketball this year
we're all black and the top whatever 8 10 oscar candidates this year we're all white sometimes it
happens yeah it's more insulting to just shoehorn them in like if for the nba or
nhl one if they just took like uh oh shit it's all white guys again in the nhl all-star game
we have a couple of blacks in the league right who's the who's the best of them yeah throw him
in the mix you know let's make him play against all the real all-stars like it who cares really
light-skinned guy now stumbling around on the ice, embarrassing himself. Yeah.
He said he could skate.
Dude, there was a black goalie who also used to be a professional boxer.
Do you remember his name?
The only black goalies I know are Grant Fuhrer and Fred Brathwaite.
He was a light-skinned goalie, light-skinned black guy goalie,
and I want to say it wasn't either of those.
Probably not Grant Feer because he was a legitimately good one.
Fred Brathwaite was not good.
Ray Emery. I think he's...
I think it was Ray Emery.
He's retired now.
Yep, that's it.
I think so. I think it was
Ray Emery. And I think he played for
one of my teams at one point. Maybe the Hurricanes.
I think he played for the Flyers. It was the Flyers. Yep, yep. played for one of my teams at one point, like maybe the Hurricanes, which is why I know about him.
I think he played for the Flyers.
It was the Flyers.
Yep, yep.
Yeah, he played for the Flyers for two years.
And he was a pro boxer goalie.
I thought he was interesting.
The Flyers have had a couple goalies that love fighting.
Ron Hextall.
Hextall.
Ron Hextall has had more fights as a goalie than I think any other goalie in history.
He would just start it.
Like most goalies, when there was a line brawl, they'd be like, all right, I'm going to skate over and start a fight with this other goalie in history. He would just start it. Like most goalies, when there was a line brawl,
they'd be like, all right, I'm going to skate over
and start a fight with this other goalie, and they'd fight.
But there'd be like one fight going that kind of ended quickly,
and Ron Hextall would get pissed at a player
that he thought shot at him after the whistle.
And so he just wouldn't even skate to the other goalie.
He'd just skate over to that fucking dude and start fighting him.
And it's almost like getting attacked by a woman
when you're getting attacked by a goalie as a player,
where the player's kind of like, I don't really want to fight this guy,
because if I do, that whole team is going to come defend him and beat the shit out of me.
And they kind of have to just push him back a little bit.
Do you think that's how it was for Hextall?
Well, probably not for Hextall, because he was a...
He was known.
He was a regular fighter.
He was a player fighter.
The weird thing to me was the equipment.
Hextall gets into a fight, but he's still got that freaking blocker pad club thing on which is way worse than
a fist and that's so pretty to leave that thing on when you're fighting didn't he though maybe
I'm crazy I'm not sure for a long time if he did if he's ever left that thing on uh I need to see
a video of it because the guy he fought is not returning to the NHL.
Well, maybe I'm wrong about that then.
But still, I don't know.
A goalie is really immobile.
It's hard to do the whole fighting thing with those leg pads on.
It's a weird thing.
But yeah, he didn't shy away from fights at all.
He'd start them.
He'd instigate fights.
And he just liked being a fighter.
And then there was another one. Maybe it was
Snow who also got into fights now.
And then of course Ray Emery did well.
Oh!
We didn't talk about that NHL
R-Star. Scott.
John Scott, yeah.
He's been approached for like a movie
deal as well as
so Boogie, are you familiar with this?
You got your finger on the pulse
of the internet it was trending on twitter for a while no no unfortunately so john scott is a
an enforcer in the nhl which is someone who fights uh doesn't get points doesn't get assists doesn't
do much as far as helping other than to defend the players out there six foot eight kind of an oaf
uh all the nhlhl fans just quick run
down what happened they voted him as one of the captains for the divisions in the
all-star game even though he had no business being there he's not a good
enough player and he ended up showing up the nhl traded him and sent him to the
minors and tried to make it so i can you can't come play in this game and he said
no screw you guys basically i'm gonna come and play in this all-star game and
so we did and his team ended up winning the three-on-three tournament uh he all of his t-shirts with like scott on the back
for nhl all-star game they sold out twice faster than anybody else's sold out once uh people came
up and like talked to him about making a movie about it since his entire career has just been
being traded from team to team when a new team is like you know what our all-star sniper forward
has been
getting his shit pushed in for a while we need someone who can make the other team think twice
how about six eight john scott you know nobody fucks with that guy uh so that's basically the
quick rundown yeah and i'm glad you gave that i was gonna ask about that when i got back everybody
thought he was going to look dreadful in the 3v3 and i didn't watch the whole thing but i do know he got
two goals he got into one fight in which they kept giggling and laughing throughout it was funny
yeah and uh did you see him push that guy from behind and oh but when he hit patrick kane because
he and patrick kane used to play on the same team patrick kane's probably the best player in the nhl
right now and even like you're not supposed to hit really in the all-star game but he hit patrick
kane just enough to knock him over like playfully yeah and still you could see this guy kane get like shoved
forcefully back oh he's flying yeah he's six eight two seventy so his little like who were friends
thing it was enough to be like oh and like it was very hodor it was very hodor because with the
like six eight is enormous right we all know that we can picture six eight but he's got the skates like 6'8 is enormous right we all know that we can picture 6'8 but
he's got those skates on and i don't know i'm guessing they add me yeah i bet they had i would
i would guess because you know i don't know anything about this shit but four inches right
four and a half inches to his height you know he's he's way the fuck up there i i just remember i saw
the footage of him standing next to the ref and it was like jesus christ but i'm glad you laid that all that out there because um i'm a complete non-hockey fan uh all the way around like so i had no idea
you know he lit up the front page of reddit it was all about john scott and i was like
what did this guy do like like break the laws of physics tonight i i don't know like
some of his goals it almost seemed like the goal he wasn't trying.
Am I alone in thinking that, Taylor?
I mean, they weren't going all out for him.
His second goal, Matt Duchesne for the Colorado Avalanche, one of the fastest players in the NHL, could have caught up to him on the breakaway.
Did catch up.
Dude, so the guy's doing a breakaway, and Matt Duchesne is his name.
You see him, like, catch him from behind, something he's great at doing.
And then he gets up, and he, like, once he's in position,
kind of half-assedly, like, almost disrupts what John Scott is doing
with his stick, and John Scott shoots and scores.
And it was like, whoa, it seemed like the last four and a half seconds
of this play, the defenseman stopped trying.
Like, he almost proved that he could have fucked this up and then didn't,
is the way it played for me.
Are you looking up a link?
It looks like you're.
Yeah, I was looking for something like that.
Here he is with the commissioner of the NHL tried to convince him to drop out,
and then he changed his story 100% when his team won the million-dollar prize,
which, of course, they just, like, give to charity or something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The guy...
Didn't he win a car?
What?
The car. Didn't he win a vehicle?
Yeah, he won a Honda.
And because he's an enforcer,
like, last year, Alex Ovechkin got the Honda,
and he makes $13 million a year, I think,
so he isn't going to drive a Honda.
But John Scott, he has two kids, twins on the way.
He's actually going to use this Honda SUV.
Of course.
He's going to drive around Montreal.
But, yeah, he's – it was really funny.
I'm excited for him.
Hopefully he takes the movie.
It sounds like a real feel-good story.
I'd watch that movie.
I saw the preview for a movie.
I wish i could remember
the name of it but the premise is this it's this kid who like from childhood wants to be an olympian
it's his one dream but he's like a complete klutz and he's a nerd and he wears really thick glasses
and all this stuff um so he looks for so he's like oh but he's always trying to like find his
sport so he's throwing javelins and stuff in his backyard. Just complete fuck up.
But he's from England and he realizes there is no English ski jumper.
So he becomes the first English ski jumper.
And he completely fails at it for a long time.
It looked really interesting.
Because ski jumping means if you're not good at that, then you crash over and over. Yeah, that's a risky thing to just take up.
So that's his life, right? He's like crashing over and over thing to just take up so that's his life right
crashing over and over in these awful injuries and he's lazy perseveres through it over and over
it's one of those sports where it's like how do you start like i watched um i went to the x games
once they hired a couple youtubers to go cover the x games or whatever and um uh i was watching these guys do backflips on snowmobiles,
and I'm like, how do you do your first one?
Because they're like 90 feet in the air.
When you do a snowmobile backflip,
it's not like, well, you start with the spotter,
and they pretty much make sure you land on your feet.
First, you do the foam pit.
No, this shit is for real.
They're doing snowmobile backflips.
They must travel 100 feet.
They must get 70 feet in the air.
It's ridiculous.
I think a lot of that you have to start really, really young, right?
Like you'd have to start when your bones feel really easy.
Right, yeah, exactly.
Like you'd have to start at the age of 10 or 12
where you can take a fall like that
and get crushed by a snowmobile a little bit and get back up, you know?
Speaking of people who didn't do that so well,
so Johnny Knoxville, maybe this is common knowledge,
but he did this stunt once where he tried to do a backflip
on a motocross-type bike.
This fits in really well with what you're saying.
He'd never done one before, and I don't think he'd ever ridden a bike before,
but he attempted it anyway because he's Johnny Knoxville
so he goes up the ramp and
Comes away from the bike right the bike goes keeps going up Johnny Falls
And then the bike falls on him hits him right in the dick
Breaks his dick and to this day to this day right now somewhere
Johnny Knoxville has to catheter his himself repeatedly every day to piss and to make sure that his pee hole, his urethra, doesn't seal shut because of the injury he sustained that day.
And this is my favorite fact about Johnny Knoxville.
It's mine, too.
It's the saddest one because I thought –
I wish I didn't know that.
That's depressing.
Yeah, that's exactly how I felt when I learned about it. I was like, well,
damn. You know, for a long time I thought,
yeah, I guess I'd swap places with
Johnny. He suffered a lot, but he became
super wealthy and has this whole empire
built and everything, but nah, I want
my dick to work. Like, I don't want to have to catheter.
One of my biggest fears is
having a catheter.
Like, I don't want that. I don't want that one
bit. That seems like something that would be really uncomfortable and painful and I don't want that. I don't want that one bit. That seems like something that would be really uncomfortable and painful,
and I don't want that at all.
I actually got very, very sick once.
And when I woke up in the hospital, I had a catheter in me.
And it's the first and only time one has ever been in me,
and I never want it to happen again.
But it was the most uncomfortable experience.
What did it feel like coming out?
Relieving, actually. Because what they do is, you may not realize, is they put the tube inside you
all the way up into your bladder. Then they blow up a balloon and that balloon keeps it from
sliding out. And so you've got this constant feel of, I need to urinate. This is a
full story. You want to hear this full story. This is a hilarious story to me. So I woke up
and I realized there's a catheter in my wing ding. And I'm like, nurse, can I not have this?
And she's like, Mr. Williams, we'll see if the doctor is willing to remove it. But you came in
here completely unconscious. You've been unconscious for almost 24 hours are you capable of walking i'm like i i don't know we'll have to figure that
out right so the doctor comes in and he's like uh mr williams i understand that you want this
catheter removed and i'm like yes um it's the most painful experience of my fucking life
please remove it from my penis i'm having a hard time sitting through the story it hurts the whole
time like i don't understand.
It seems like it would only hurt when you move.
It constantly
because of that balloon in my bladder
and then on top of that my body
is kind of pressing down on my bladder all the time
because of how big I am. It just was
a combination of very uncomfortable
feeling like I need to urinate all the time.
But the problem was
I was urinating all the time into the catheter, you know,
because as soon as urine would get produced to the bladder,
it would go down through the catheter too.
It's just fucking a living hell.
Can you feel it come out immediately?
Do what?
Can you feel it come out immediately, like little bits of heat?
No, I just feel the burning sensation of having a tube,
plastic tube that's too wide for my small...
All right, God damn it, two to script.
Okay, so listen listen
okay so the doctor's the doctor's like dude mr williams are you aware that my nurses will not
help you go to the bathroom so you will need to get up to go to the bathroom every time you need
to urinate and i'm like uh i'm like are you lit you don't get this tube out of my cock
i'm like i'm like yes doctor i'm i'm quite aware of that. That's how I've been doing it so far.
I'm fairly certain I can manage again today. And he goes, well, are you sure you can urinate?
And I'm like, what? And he goes, you don't have a very big clearance down there,
referring to the shape of my body. And again, I'm like confused by that. So I'm like, excuse me?
And he goes, well, sir, your member isn't very large.
And so that is the day that I had a clinically small penis.
Okay.
And so then flash forward to two years ago,
they do a testosterone test and they find that my body doesn't produce enough testosterone.
In order to do a testosterone test, they have to check me out down there,
and they have to make sure one of the things that they checked for
is to make sure I don't have a secret vagina I don't know about,
which is, like, completely weird.
But they're like, this does happen.
We need to check your anus.
We need to check your penis. We need to check your taint. And we need to look at all of this stuff to make sure it's healthy and normal before we can prescribe you testosterone. And I'm like, well, if I have a secret vagina, isn't that all the more reason to give me testosterone or whatever?
Solid reasoning.
The nurse, it turns out it's a male nurse, which I have no problem with a male nurse. You never know.
Maybe you want to go the other way.
Maybe you want to get some estrogen.
Right.
Exactly.
With a vagina.
It's a brave world.
You can do what you want.
Boogie, if you were an overweight woman on the internet, think of the power you would build.
Ooh, you'd be a feminist.
Oh, yes.
I could get offended and people would stare.
Big, scary, black, blocky glasses.
If I could dye my hair seven different colors.
Tumblr would be so happy with you.
If I'm you and a medical practitioner
says, Boogie, you might have a pussy,
I'm like, fingers crossed, fingers crossed.
I'm like, look, look.
You know, I have noticed
that I've been leaving snail trails
on my seats when I sit on them
after a shower.
So this male nurse grabs my testicles
and he checks them out
for a couple minutes
and the doctor's like looking at him and watching him do the work, right?
And then he like takes my penis and he like pushes around all the stuff around
and he plays with the penis for a couple seconds.
And I'm like, all right, dude, here's the thing.
I don't think I would be bothered if I got hard while he's doing this,
but he's going to probably be bothered if I get hard.
So just don't get hard.
Just don't get hard.
And so then he says to the doctor, he says, his penis looks normal. probably be bothered if i get hard so just don't just don't get hard just don't get hard and uh so
then he says to the doctor he says um his penis looks normal and i'm like yes upgraded to normal
baby thank god uh but yeah what what an interesting experience i've had with my genitals so why were
you brought in unconscious i feel like i missed beginning. I have a condition in my legs that I've had since I was about 24 called lymphedema.
You showed it to us once.
Yeah, yeah.
And basically, long story short, it gets infected a couple times a year.
And so I have to go in.
I have to get antibiotics to defeat the infection.
And then sometimes that infection, I don't even know it's there because it's always painful
and it's always red and it's always swollen and it's always hot.
So it's really hard to know when there's even an infection in it.
And that was one of the first times I ever got that infection.
I was like, second time that it hospitalized me really.
And I went to bed one day and I didn't know that I was going to bed for the last time for a week.
And I woke up, I was in bed for about three or four days with a huge fever and sweating
and incapable of even being aware of
what was going on i woke up in the hospital is that so if you lose weight does that go away or
is that just a condition that you have regardless now that's there forever it will get better the
symptoms will get better but i'm in stage three lymphedema which means it's now hardened and so
without surgery to remove the meat it's's not going anywhere. Is there a fourth stage?
I think it's just three stages, I think.
Oh, see, I was going to ask how many stages.
I'm like, if this is a 10-stage disease, then you're pretty good. My theory was there are four because I know in cancer there's at least a stage four.
And I thought that maybe you were slacking and you had another goal.
No, my goal is to wear normal shoes again.
That's my fucking goal.
Do you still have a relationship with, is it Dusty Rhodes?
Is that who you're talking to?
DDP, yeah.
And I actually talk to Dallas all the time.
He said something to me the other day.
I know your viewers don't like it when I talk about the weight,
so I don't want to talk about it too terribly much.
But I've lost about 20 pounds over the last month,
and I'm doing pretty good.
And for the first time,
I'm feeling really confident about what I'm doing.
Like, I think I've got it.
Regardless of that,
what spurred this current motivation was Dallas was on the phone with me
and we were talking about the new Jake the Snake
movie, which you guys really should check out.
It's on iTunes now. I think it's going to be on Netflix
eventually. It's the
resurrection of Jake the Snake. It gives
you an idea of what that guy does. Did you guys
see the movie? You really, really should.
Never seen Jake.
Yeah, Jake the Snake, I saw him wrestling in Knoxville, Tennessee when I was a kid.
He wrestled under the giant.
One of the most motivating experiences of my life.
And to hear him, to see him struggle with alcohol, struggle with drugs,
and his life just being complete shambles.
But by the end of that movie, end up in the Wrestling Hall of Fame.
Like, it's incredible what Dallas did for him, what he's done for Scott Hall, and what he's tried
to do for me.
But I'm talking to Dallas on the phone one day, and Dallas was like, you know, Boog,
I was thinking one of these days is going to be a video pushed out to your YouTube subscribers,
and it's either going to be a video of you having lost a couple hundred pounds, looking
better, feeling healthier, or it's going to be a video declaring your early death. Now you're going to get to decide which video that
is. So which one's it going to be, buddy? And I'm like, holy shit. Wow. You know, like that hits you
like a ton of bricks. And so I like hung up the phone. I was just reeling. I thought about it for
like a week, just in the back of my mind, the back of my mind the back of my mind. It was just this last November, and I'm like, you know, when January rolls around,
I'm going to do something.
And I've been doing something, and it's been working, and I'm happy about it.
Well, that's good to hear.
I'm sorry that my mic keeps doing that thing.
I don't see any way to change the auto-adjust here in the web app.
But while I'm here and my mic is working,
I just want to tell everyone a little bit about Squarespace.
I want everyone to remember that this episode of PKA
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Squarespace, build it beautiful
well done Kyle
yeah check out Squarespace
they're awesome
if you want to build a website do out. Yeah, check out Squarespace. They're professional.
They're awesome.
If you want to build a website, do it right.
Get on board with Squarespace.
They make it really easy to build a website.
That's what I really like about it.
It's just about anybody can do it.
Yes.
You have a couple options.
You can either hire a pro and pay him thousands of dollars.
You can go to school and pay them tens of thousands of dollars.
Or you can go to Squarespace and pay them $8.
It looks good.
I was futzing around with it once just with like a, I guess, free trial.
I don't even know how I got on there just making it.
I guess you can make it and then you pay for it when you're done is the way you can do it.
And I expected it to still be way above my abilities technology-wise.
And it's really not.
Like if you don't really get what you're doing, you just, like, click a little question mark box or some shit like that,
and it explains it in simple layman terms.
It's real easy.
Squarespace.com slash PKA.
Thank you, Kyle.
Oh, you're very welcome.
It looks professional.
You know what?
You need a glass of scotch and maybe, like, a cigar in that nice leather chair
with the backdrop of the rustic wood planks.
Or maybe just a Pepsi with real sugar in it. That's kind of classy
too, right? They're fucking delicious.
They're absolutely wonderful.
That's racist.
No, it's true. Coke and Pepsi
are better. You're not the first person to
have claimed, it's not racist, it's
true. It's literally true.
They produce the Coca-Cola
with the cane sugar in
Mexico exclusively. They always the Coca-Cola with the cane sugar in Mexico exclusively.
They always use cane sugar there.
I know occasionally they'll do a spin-off.
Oh, yeah, for a limited time, we'll actually use real sugar in our soda.
But in Mexico, they're always doing it.
Whatever you say, Trump.
Yeah.
If you have a chance to have Coke in Mexico, Coca-Cola, then try it.
It's so much better than it is here.
You can get those bottles here. They have most grocery stores. They're little glass bottles? Yeah, try it. It's so much better than it is here. You can get those bottles here.
It's a tall.
It's like a.5 liter glass bottle.
This last summer, I decided
to do a little experiment when
it came to all real sugar sodas.
Pepsi does the Mountain Dew
throwback made with real sugar.
They do several other Pepsi products.
Coca-Cola does the Mexican Coke in the bottle. And then you can get all that at a grocery store around
here. And so I got it into my head, I'm going to try an experiment of drinking real sugar sodas
to see how that changes my appetite, to see the way that it changes my weight gain, to see how
it changes my blood sugar. And it was actually very interesting. My blood sugar stayed about the same
as when I was having soda made with corn syrup
and not too far off from when I was having diet sodas,
which I thought was bizarre.
Then secondly, it did dramatically alter how hungry I was.
Of course, I am taking in more calories,
so that would make sense.
But I was eating less while doing it.
But after doing it for about a month i put on weight so uh you know obviously i wasn't i was eating about as much food or close
to it to where the the calories from the soda was was yeah i am not surprised now i'm not surprised
to learn that adding soda with real sugar in it did not make you lose weight right obviously i mean obviously
i can see a scenario where it might like like you know but versus corn syrup not versus right
versus and that's the thing an addict man you're gonna justify it you know you're like it's just
justifying my addiction as well as doing right but now these days it's it's mostly water and
this isn't actual fiji everybody sees this like and is like, oh, you're spending the YouTube
money on the Fiji water.
I still like to refill these bottles
for the record. But I did
buy a dollar. I did pay a dollar for this
originally at Walmart, man. Big spender.
I do that too. You look really
fancy. It's like in college when you'd have
a big bottle of Grey Goose vodka
and then once that's done, you keep
it and then you just fill it with, you know,
Dimitri's best effort at the bottom shelf.
Fill it up.
I love that name.
Are you switched to diet soda now?
Yeah, I have about a can, sometimes two cans of diet soda a day.
But I'm even trying to avoid it.
I'm trying to avoid caffeine and trying to avoid...
I'm just trying to avoid it. I'm trying to avoid caffeine and trying to avoid, I'm just
trying to teetotal it. My thought was if I go as far, like in the minimalist direction, I can go
like 1200 calories, like drinking only water, drinking all this stuff. As I slowly give in,
I'll give in less and less than I would if I just took a small step back. So I'm trying to do the
extreme thing now. And then when I slowly start to fail,
it'll last, I don't know.
I don't know, it's just, yeah.
I do love diet soda.
I mean, I hate diet cola,
but like diet dew and diet,
all that diet, like all the flavor diet stuff,
like just the fruity flavor is so good.
I watched this video, the guy, he sold soda. He had a store.
It seemed to sell soda exclusively. I'm not
sure. But he was a real
soda gourmet. He completely
understood it. And one of the things I learned was that
when they put it in a can, they
over-carbonate it. Because
during its life cycle in the
can, the carbonation escapes.
Whereas they put it in a bottle, they perfectly
carbonate it and it
stays that way so he had a big fan that's interesting i had no idea yeah i see i've
seen that guy on vice and i've just always wanted to go to a store but like maybe the worst decision
of the world but i love strange sodas like a uniquely bottled small bottled you know like i
guess it's the you know the the micro
brews of sodas i love that man it's the best every once in a while i go to uh oh is that that uh
butterscotch soda kyle yeah this is flying cauldron butterscotch beer it was so good um
although it was a complete rip-off two dollars a bottle oh yeah those like specialty sodas are
ridiculous the only like non-diet I get, once every few months,
I'll go to one of those specialty grocery stores
and get a couple bottles of custom cream soda,
and it's always infinitely better than Bark's cream soda or A&W cream.
Do you remember the soda flavors that guy talked about, Boogie?
There were ones you wouldn't expect to like, like squash.
Oh, right, yep.
I'm trying to.
Well, I think squash is just a kind of soda that there's that because Kitty's got this shit that she calls squash.
That's like it's like concentrated, like flavored sugar water.
And they like dilute it with water and make soda.
In this case, I feel like I got it wrong.
It's not actually squash.
It's.
Shucks. I almost want to watch the video. It's not actually squash. It's um, shucks.
I almost want to watch the video.
It's five minutes long and it's a little long for a PK.
Yeah, this, that grocery store has been interviewed by about five or six different
people actually.
Oh, okay.
And it depends on who you find.
And the one that I saw was a little longer, like 20, 25 minutes almost.
And one of the sodas they showed was an aloe vera one.
And they said it was like really good for inflammation if you have stomach issues and things along that lines.
So it's funny.
A couple weeks after, I went to Walmart and I'm checking the Mexican slash Asian food.
I think they call it the ethnic food aisle, which is probably a weird name for it.
But they had an aloe vera drink and I ended up getting it.
It was fucking delicious.
It wasn't carbonated.
It wasn't a soda, but it was still sweet and aloe vera.
I've tried those, too.
I really don't.
My girlfriend really likes them, and she'll get them every so often.
But the problem with it is it's one weird square-shaped bottle.
I'm not sure.
Everybody knows what squares is.
I don't know why I put my hand up to explain the square-shaped bottle.
Which one's square again?
It's a square-shaped bottle.
It's actually a plastic container used to hold liquids.
And it has this viscous, almost viscous. I'm not sure if it's actually a plastic container used to hold liquids. And it has, like, this viscous, like, almost viscous.
I'm not sure if it's the same shit you tried, Boogie.
Viscous aloe vera drink.
And apparently it's real good for you.
But that could just be another, like, pomegranate juice scam
where it comes out where it's like,
it's actually just kind of like OJ, a lot of sugar.
Like, that is about it.
Well, I will say I actually had a cracked on a
crack on the the uh callus on the bottom of my left foot which is like real dangerous for diabetic
and uh nothing i used worked until i went to walmart and found a um a guaranteed uh 100 just
aloe vera cream and i used it my foot healed in two days just from aloe vera. Why is that dangerous for diabetics?
Because you, I mean, you know, you got a, you're diabetic, you're not going to
have as good a circulation going to your feet and stuff and so that's why you end up losing
your toes and you're losing your feet and since I'm, the diabetes is causing poor circulation,
I end up having to be super careful with my feet. In fact, I'm supposed to have a nurse cut my toenails for me.
I'm not even supposed to do it myself.
Seriously?
Yeah.
Because if you cut yourself, it just won't heal?
Right, there's a chance it won't heal.
I'm still fairly healthy, so it will heal most of the time,
but there's a chance it won't,
and that chance could cost me a toe or two or even part of the foot.
So, you know, I've got to be serious.
If you were going to lose a toe, which one would you pick to lose?
or two or even part of the foot.
If you're going to lose a toe, which one would you pick to lose?
My mom chopped off her
big toe in a
lawnmower, pulling it
backwards up a hill. She tripped and it
ran over her foot. Because she
lost her big toe, it actually
ruined her balance for the rest of her
life.
She kept falling all the time.
You get to tape a Lincoln log
on there. Keep going about your business.
I feel like
the dinky toe or the ring
toe might be a good choice.
I'm thinking the middle one. Because I don't think
the middle one would affect your balance at all.
Middle one.
It's like I've heard that if you lose a
finger, people think
if you're going to lose a finger, you want to lose the pinky.
But that's apparently not the case.
What you want to lose is your pointer finger because within a few weeks or months, your middle finger takes over as, like, the new writing utensil holder.
And, like, I read it was saying, like, next time you pick up a bag of luggage or something, just kind of hold it there for a second and feel where the weight's being carried.
And I did, and it turns out, like, a lot of it is it is pinky like the pinky is doing a lot more work than it gets credit for
well he's got that whole big muscle over here kind of all to himself right like like he's
he's a big part of if you activate your pinky and feel that muscle activate yeah you know
activate your pinky do it and you can feel the muscles combined your powers combined
yeah that's the i am the powers
for captain uh captain planet the other day and one of them is near invincibility
near invincibility yeah so you're fine as long as you don't get shot
it's pollution no it's pollution that's his weakness pollution oh what a shit tier superhero
oh my god i don't want to talk about him anymore. Fuck that guy.
I'm going to, I don't know, kick my garbage on him.
I just keep a satchel full of those six-pack can holders, and if he ever gets on my trail, I just throw those out behind.
Like a little snake.
Oh, yeah.
His little kids run up to him, and he's all tangled up like a dumb little owl.
Fucking shithead.
I liked that cartoon as a kid.
Anyway.
Yeah, so I had no idea that cuts on the bottom of your feet or anything to do with feet were
that bad for diabetics.
Is it the same thing with...
Oh, yeah.
Like, can you...
Like, are you not supposed to clip your own fingernails?
Like, if you cut that, will it...
No, that's fine.
For the most part, I still have really good circulation up here.
It has something to do with the feet. I don't know
what the hell it is.
That's weird.
As I get older, apparently it's supposed to be
any extremity. Eventually you have
some problems or whatever.
Taylor, did you ever look into
or maybe find out if there are some days
in the coming weeks
that you might be free to travel to the beautiful location
that is Conway, South Carolina?
Near the end of this month or the beginning of March,
I believe I will be open enough that I can do it.
I'm trying to find a weekday that I could
because I recall Woody saying that that works better for him.
I'll continue to put pressure on that. I need to speak to a few more people before I can hammer it down for sure
But I I really hope and I have a good amount of faith that this will work out like okay
That's fun. I haven't seen you guys in person and fucking forever like four years something like that
Yeah
For those listening like what we want to do is is like kill a bunch of birds with one stone here
Because we're doing of course the wings the hot
wings of redemption uh hot wing sauce um and for that bottle we're gonna have some image some
pictures of wings you know dressed as a chef cooking his sauce up his famous recipe and all
and so that means i gotta go to conway south carolina to photograph him and do that
and uh and then woody and i were talking and i he said he'd like to purchase a gun that i have so
i'm like ah we got to meet up for that so he was like
well maybe we'll just meet up in Conway and I was like
hey if you, me and Wings of Redemption
are in the same location at the same time
we are one murka durka
away from a really cool
live in person PKA
so we want to get all those
things done at the same time
so that's the hold up on the hot sauce and all
but I think that's going to be really cool
all that stuff should happen toward the end of the month maybe we'll that's the hold up on the hot sauce and all. But I think that's going to be really cool.
All that stuff should happen toward the end of the month maybe.
We'll see how that works out. And the knives,
that thing is moving forward as well.
So all those things are happening.
Are you guys open first week of March?
Yeah.
Okay. Just wanted to make sure.
Yeah, that would be really fun.
Yeah, I think so too. Some sort of activity to do.
That, yeah. I was going to say as much fun as doing the show would be be really fun yeah i think so too some sort of activity to do that yeah i was gonna say like like
as much fun as like doing the show would be you know you know that's that's what we do every week
it'd be fun if like the four of us or whatever um went and did a thing whatever that is you know
sure we'll go out to dinner but maybe go and shoot again we did that once with wings before and it
was pretty fun yeah go shoot some skeet maybe go ice skating huh oh
yeah he loved look if wing if wings is there too then that takes so much pressure off me i am no
longer the guy who's like oh look you see kylie fell twice it's like look at kyle he's going
pretty fast yeah at least he's staying up where'd wings go and wings is just crawling like as i feel
like if i go with you and Woody,
I'm obviously, like, the guy who can barely fucking skate.
Woody's going to be the number one if we go.
I can't rent goalie skates.
I'll have to rent player skates,
and my entire skate motion that I learned is totally different.
It'll take me a while to figure that out.
I believe Wings can tread water longer than Kyle.
Well, he's buoyant.
And that's not a joke.
That's a real thing.
Right.
I can't sink for the life of me.
You have to push up
and even then you're kind of just like a bobber
with a fish maybe on the end.
I'll take that bet because it's not
fair. The man has a lot of ballast.
That's true.
He's a fucking life preserver.
I could probably i could
probably tread water for i don't know i don't even know how to estimate like i want to say
20 minutes but maybe 20 minutes goes by and i'm exhausted or maybe i could do it for 40 minutes
i don't know i'm sure you could do it for an hour didn't you didn't you guys have drills where you
treaded water like forever um you know it's hard to say because i haven't done it for so long you know in my prime
it would be days um it'd be more it'd be like how long you would sleep and tread water at the same
it'd be like how long can you walk how long can you walk um i don't know it's almost like walking
is not the problem it's more to do with like yeah i got shit to do like i can't just go well like i
was gonna say fatigue exhaust like almost sleepvation would be the bigger issue than the walking.
Do your feet bleed or something really?
Yeah, yeah.
But the me of today, I don't know.
The problem – the thing is this.
I bet I could do it much more efficiently than someone who's never swam as much as me.
Like you just get a knack for keeping your – like what a full inhale and a full exhale is.
Like if I'm treading water, I kind of just exist in that top half what a full inhale and a full exhale is like if i'm treading water i kind
of just exist in that top half of the full inhale and i float better and the way i move my arms and
you know like you know they curl the water and stuff it just takes a lot less energy for for a
swimmer to tread water than you know i remember um i watched the lifeguard test and they had the
tread water for five minutes.
And it was like, oh, my God, they're letting you rescue people, and you're struggling with this?
There's no way people were struggling for five minutes.
They were.
Teenagers, too.
I don't have a lot of aquatic experience, but I do remember we'd do pool parties where you have pool volleyball,
and you have to tread water to do that because we would play in the deep end.
I've definitely tread water
for multiple minutes before
without extreme fatigue, so that's shocking.
We would tread water.
You know what that's reminiscent of?
That reminds me of how the police
shooting requirements at seven paces.
That's what that reminds me of.
It's just like, yeah,
do you have both eyes can
you walk you're in that's good yeah yeah and then you know anyone who can shoot is like whoa this
seems like a really low standard and on the swim team we would have two bricks and the bricks were
heavier than normal bricks because they were um they were coated with i don't know what like a
vinyl or like they were rubberized almost real bricks
but with like a rubber on like resin bricks yeah and uh and you'd we'd like pass them around from
person to person so you're treading and life is all easy and then some douchebag like gives you
the brick and then even the bigger douchebag is the guy that has both bricks and like butterfly
kicks and there's like no hands oh what a twat yeah that can't be that i mean i
someone i was friends with who was a swimmer in high school like was talking it up how difficult
it was to tread water for a long period of time and he was like i bet you can't do it for like
an hour like i can do it for like 10 hours and i was like first of all this is a dumb thing to
brag about like wow you can be stagnant in water longer than me like that's cool i'm gonna go talk
to some chicks like but i did it for a full hour and like it's one of those workouts which it is a workout like
it's not like an intense one but once you get out like 20 minutes later you kind of realize
the fatigue you're in where it's like wow i did i thought that this was just kind of me existing
for a while but once you get out and you spend a little time sitting still and you get up, you're like, wow, that actually burned some calories. It's a good workout.
I really do. The more we talk about your swimming stuff and the more I think about you, Woody,
I feel like if you could pick one movie to be that guy, I feel like you gotta pick kevin costner from water world right oh is
that is that not what you really want to be think about what that guy is oh you know every you've
set your sights i'd settle for kevin costner from that rescue swimmer movie that no he's a badass
but he dies at the end of that but dude what he't die perfect no that'd be awesome like i i feel like if
i had the the life of that guy through that movie i would that would be he lived a successful life
i don't know man kevin costa from water world first of all he's got gills right so it's pretty
awesome he's basically aquaman he's got the webbed uh webbed toes and stuff he's got that sick
fucking boat and you're always talking about wanting to sail the oceans.
He's super self-reliant,
does everything on his own.
He's incredibly gruff.
Remember when he's buying that dirt, how much
shit he gives the dirt salesman?
He drinks his own tea.
I need to watch this movie.
Dude, I love that movie.
Maybe that's why the whole world
dogged on Waterworld like it was
a terrible movie I
liked it I liked Postman too that's another one
yeah that's one we definitely agree about
the Kevin Costner stuff like I love
all of his movies I think he's
good I like the Postman
I like Waterworld
a lot I didn't like him as
Robin Hood that English accent I mean
any one of us here could have pulled a better English accent.
I don't know about all of us.
Three quarters of us.
It's so funny.
Carrie Ewells in Robin Hood Men in Tights makes fun of it.
He's like, and I can speak with a British accent.
Because Costner made an entire Robin Hood movie where he's just stumbling over his words
and just sounding like Kevin Costner for the most part i i really don't think i could do like every so
often i think like yeah i could do a better accent and then in my head i'm like doing it you'd make
it up you'd make it a priority i feel like costner was just like phoning it in like he didn't give it
oh well that's true i would have given it my all but But even right now, I'm like, I could do a better British accent that's not British at all than Kevin Costner.
That doesn't even sound British.
It's so awful.
Yeah, but you would get a voice coach.
I was watching some videos the other day, and this guy was talking about how to do –
there's this guy. He has YouTube videos, and he does voice work.
And he talks about how to do this accent versus that accent.
YouTube videos and he does voice work and he talks about how to do this accent versus that accent and he speaks about the accents very technically like he knows the words for
the different nuances of how to speak.
It's really interesting to see because he's excellent, right?
He'll go into that French accent and it's, he's perfect at it and then he'll go to Australian.
I've heard you tell someone how to do a southern accent and i've heard you receive
how to do an accent and i feel like it just comes easier to you than it does to me like if someone
were to coach you on how to do irish accent um i think that in a few minutes you'd be saying things
that sound irish and i don't think that's true of me it would be a much harder road to hope yeah
it's definitely easier for some people. Yeah.
And there's nothing worse than a movie where it just takes you out of it
because someone is so bad.
Like, I had to look it up because I couldn't remember which Ocean's movie it was.
But Don Cheadle in Ocean's 13 doing his accent is horrible.
It's horrible.
That dude is from Kansas City,
and he sounds nothing like who he is trying
to be in that movie and you can't even see a scene with the dude without being like oh yeah
this is a film that i'm sitting here watching and now i'm noticing consciously that my toes itch
or something like that it's just horrific there was an oscar bad accent was it dicaprio i forget
like they were they ripped on it wasn't a Will Smith they were
all talking about his yes accent and whatever movie thank you it was Will Smith yeah yeah yeah
accent was it I haven't seen that all right so here's the thing about Will Smith's accent that
movie it's interesting what they did so is the premise of that movie as fucking ridiculous as
it is and poorly exposed uh the in the beginning this is the NFL concussion movie. No, no, no, no
What movie is it? Okay, so it's really bad in that but I'm talking about after earth the space movie
His accent was crazy in that one too and all over the place him and his son and at one point he called his
Son's character the wrong name in that movie. So that wasn't what we're talking about though
But yeah, I think concussion I think it's supposed to be Nigerian or something and I used to work with a Nigerian guy
So I got a little bit of an ear for it.
It's this British-y, African kind of thing.
And, yeah, he was kind of all over the place.
But maybe he wasn't.
Apparently Will Smith is, you know, Black Actors Matter, et cetera,
looking for an Oscar nomination because he's black.
And I guess when you do that, it instantly up the the guns aimed toward you for why you
shouldn't get an Oscar nomination and his accent is getting a lot of attention so yeah it was it
was it was particularly poor in that other movie though like it you know the idea in that movie is
that it's like a thousand or two thousand whatever it doesn't matter years after we've abandoned the
earth and we've now colonized this new
planet, so his accent
is supposed to be like an amalgam
of American
South mixed with
German,
all the nations of the world
that got on the rest of the ship.
Exactly what wouldn't happen with accents in that scenario.
Yeah, yeah.
Some futuristic melting pot
bullshit that would never actually occur
without some sort of space race war.
Why not?
When I was a kid, my solution
for eliminating
racism was crossbreeding.
It's like, you know, can't we just
all evolve into some sort of...
Ah, a bit of eugenics, eh?
It's like liberal eugenics.
Just force everyone.
Ah, two white people, you know.
We're trying to be a little more progressive.
One of you can't be white.
I see you, Asian white person combo.
That won't do.
That'd take decades and generations.
We really need the darkest and the lightest.
Irish people and African people going together
until we all become somewhere in the –
So we look weird.
So we're like Mexican-Asian people.
Like those goobacks in South Africa.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
The Irish are lazy enough already.
What are you thinking?
Oh, my God.
Did you just say that?
You know what you're going to do?
Jesus Christ.
Smoking dope and drinking all day
not working real drain on the world's
economy at that point you don't want to create that super
race of evil
don't do that
wasn't there a guy who once
this is the thing that's going to show up on a
subreddit as soon as I'm done saying this
this won't even be
aired and they'll know I said it
wasn't there some sort of guy
who once said something like
I dream one day
about my kids being judged
by the content of their character
and not by the color of their skin
and doesn't that kind of mean that
it doesn't matter if any of the actors
who got nominated for Oscars this year
are black, it just matters that
they were good actors.
Like, that's what we're supposed to be looking at.
No, that was back when equality was the goal.
Not anymore.
Now it's about what can I get out of it by exploiting.
I saw a picture of Will Smith's palatial estate,
and seeing it, he's got, like, a moat.
There are armed guards with halberds standing about.
Like, it's a crazy nice place. There are not armed guards. No, there are no guards with halberds standing about like it's it's a crazy nice place
no there are no medieval style knights i was being hyperbolic
you can't say that or i'm gonna start believing it okay well there were no knights but it is a
giant palatial estate and just to know that that guy would complain and say when am i gonna get
mine is like i I, fuck you.
You know it is right.
You haven't been good since the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
You're not a good actor.
I'm sorry.
Like, he's not.
You want to hear my theory on Will Smith?
I think that Will Smith is gay, and I think that his wife is also gay, Jada Pinkett, and
I think that they have a relationship that works for each of them that they've got going
on, because she seems very butch and I think
that more it seemed to me that she
was the one leading the charge she was like Will
the fuck's going on Will
you were supposed to win this thing I need you to be winning
that Oscar Will what the fuck this ain't part of the
plan you better get out there and start making some
movies Will. Will Smith has a
super high opinion
of himself and
that's where this actually comes from, in my opinion.
I read an interview with Will Smith before the Oscar nomination thing
about how he was thinking about being President of the United States.
And he was serious.
You'd think to yourself, President of the United States?
And he's like, apparently, I am destined for great things.
You would think that being like a gold record artist or platinum or whatever he is
and winning an Oscar and being like the number one actor would all be too high goals
if you met me as a teenager.
But these are all things that I've accomplished.
Who's to say President of the United States isn't in my wheelhouse too?
Fucking Rudy's Gamertag we'll say that yeah fuck off and now
for him to hear that he's not nominated for an oscar this year like i honestly believe he's like
whoa what the hell don't you know i'm destined for amazing things it's like fuck off in his head
it's like well i can't be president until I get an Oscar. He has one, right?
I don't know.
He didn't deserve it if he got it.
No, he doesn't have one.
I don't think.
Yeah.
I will say, I think.
You're probably right.
I said this in reference to the Fine Brothers on my stream, and I'll say it again here.
I think something happens to a person when they get to that second comma.
And I don't think it happens to everybody.
I think probably if I got my second comma, I'm't think it happens to everybody i think probably if i got
my second comma i'm probably going to be okay um i think i'm saying millionaire you make your first
million i think a lot of people when they get that taste of their first million i thought you got
another comma at a hundred thousand for like a minute there i'm sorry carry on i'm so dumb but when you get with that second guy's an accountant
at first i was like so you got one comma at a thousand and then i was like a second comma is
at ten thousand right that's another zero and i was like no wait second comma is at 10,000, right? That's another zero.
And I was like, no, wait a minute, you idiot.
It's 100,000.
And he's sitting over there.
I've got seven commas, guys.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Throw one after every zero just to be safe.
I'm so sorry.
I stepped all over your point.
No, that's fine.
The point that I'm making is, like somebody said the other day, and I think they're true,
$5,000 isn't a lot of money to have, right?
But $5,000 is a lot of money to need, you know?
And I think that's probably true.
I think when you get to a million dollars, you're like, you know, a million dollars is a lot of, it doesn't seem like as much money as I thought it was going to be.
Now I need it to be multi-million.
Now I need it to be 10 million.
Now I need it to be 100 million.
Now I need it to be a billionaire. Now I need it to be 100 million. Now I need it to be a billionaire.
Now I need that third comma. I think that's what happens, and maybe that is what happened
to the Fine Brothers. Maybe they're just like, you know,
we're doing really, really good, Benny. We're probably
worth 5 or 10 million dollars between
the two of us, but maybe we could
be worth 10 billion. So let's try.
You know? I don't know. I think
people just eventually, you get the taste of it
and you think, I deserve the Oscar. I deserve the EGOT. And I think people just eventually you get the taste of it and you think
I deserve the Oscar, I deserve the EGOT
and I think that's what happened to Will Smith
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I wear them as much as I can, and they haven't worn out yet.
The real question is, do they come in boogie size?
I don't know.
You may have to reconstitute a couple pairs.
But, yeah.
but yeah like you know it's time to step up from the uh from the lousy underwear you're wearing today uh go to me it's very nice it's very it's uh it's very supportive you well it frames you
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shouldn't be there you know don't let it get to that point.
Nobody wants to see that walking around.
MeUndies is the difference between a dumbass poster you thumb-tacked into the wall
and a painting with a frame, right?
With a glass case.
A glass case.
It takes your junk, lifts it, and presents it and says,
I have giant cock, hear me roar.
That's the MeUndie story right there.
Yeah, well, I don't know if that's their main goal.
I believe it's their tagline.
It keeps you dry.
I looked up the Will Smith Oscar thing.
Kyle was right.
He's been nominated for an Oscar twice, but he's never won.
However, he does have four Golden Raspberry Awards
for worst
screen combo, worst original
song, worst supporting
actor, and again,
worst screen combo. What was worst
supporting actor?
Wild Wild West. He has worst screen
combo and worst original song.
Was the song also Wild Wild West?
I don't know. I know that it was with stevie wonder and cool mo d uh whichever one that was i love that song though
the wild wild west wiki i love that that's a good song and uh for after earth he got um
worst supporting actor and worst screen combo and I should mention for After Earth, he was nominated for Worst Picture and Worst Screenplay,
but he didn't win those.
It is trash.
It is a scummy movie.
It is so bad.
I watched it twice because I wanted to be able to explain to people
how bad it was in the future if I ever needed to.
Oh, my God.
You watch that on CinemaSins or whatever
that do everything wrong with name a movie
and X amount of time or less.
It took them like 30 minutes or something.
What was the most egregious problem with it,
in your opinion?
That it exists.
Okay, so they're fighting these alien monsters
in the future, but the monsters are like biological weapons that are kind of dropped on them by these aliens that they're in a confrontation with over a planet.
We get all that exposition very early in the film, but we never actually see the alien overlords who we're in confrontation with.
We only see the biological weapons that we're dealing with, and this is what they designed. They designed a biological weapon that can smell our fear. That's what they said.
Basically, they can smell the pheromone that humans excrete when they're afraid. So Will Smith
is such a hard ass that he ain't got no fear. So for the longest time, human beings had no defense
against these monsters because they're huge. It looks like a giant monster.
You can't deal with this thing physically if it can see you, but it's blind.
Its only way to find you is by smelling your fear pheromone.
So one of them attacks Will Smith at some point in his life, and he just goes calm.
He loses all of his fear, and it can't see him, and he fucking kills it.
So from then on, he's like Professor Badass,
and he's walking into so from then on he's like professor badass but and he like he's like walking into like rows of these things and they can't see
him because he's fearless and he's slicing them up with this this melee
weapon he has that can kind of become anything he wants it to be that sounds
really fucking cool right that's the highlight of the movie it happens seven
minutes in it never gets as cool and for the rest of the
movie will smith breaks his leg 15 minutes in and he lays there in pain for the rest of the movie
at one point he abused his drugs you do not want to get that that ball rolling
i poke the bear sometimes. It's a masterpiece. It's just such a shitty movie.
It's awful.
There's tons of bad CGI,
tons of things that don't make sense.
I don't know.
The kid is terrible.
His accent especially is awful.
And like I said earlier,
there's even one point where Will Smith calls his...
He's playing with his son.
He's co-starring with his actual real-life son.
And he calls his son's character by
the wrong name.
It's obvious when he does it.
No, he doesn't call him by his real-life name.
He just butchers his character name.
What's the character name?
I couldn't say. It's been a while.
Let's just say
it's Hakeem. He called him Hakan
or something like that. It was like,
whoa, you done fucked up, Will.
It wasn't even close. Do you think they called him on it at the time and he was like one take i am one take will just walks into his trailer or he was like we'll fix it in post and
then that like they like hounded him for weeks trying to get that voice over and he was like
fuck all that yes nobody noticed just switch the rest of it to hakeem you know do
you ever look at jayden's so so maybe you've all put this together but they but will smith and his
wife jada have two kids and they've kind of combined the parents names to make the kids names
so uh jayden is you know a combination of their names and willow is the daughter's name but have
you ever looked at jayaden's Twitter and seen the...
He considers himself like a modern-day philosopher.
We talked about him on PKA for a while
at one point.
That's too much. I don't know. He's going to look
back on that just like everybody else who did shitty things
on the internet when they were too young and be like,
I wish I hadn't done that.
Everybody else who does shitty things on the internet grows
up and has to live in the real world. His dad
is supporting his madness, and they've got enough money that he'll never have to live in the real world.
I'm going to predict that Jaden Smith has a Michael Jackson kind of life falling apart, becoming a real weirdo type thing.
And while we're on that subject, did you win the death pool when that Godfather actor died?
I was going to bring that up. Yeah, Abe Vigoda. I won the second death pool in a row, which means
we need to re-up our dead pool. Bill Cosby. Bill Cosby's your death pool choice? Yeah,
he's under a lot of stress and strain right now. He's like 80, right? I was just thinking back to when they had that big sexual scandal at
Penn State, and they fired
the head coach, you know,
even though... Joe Paterno.
Yeah, they fired Paterno despite the fact
that it was the assistant coach
that did the raping and all, the Sandusky guy.
But remember, all the stress
and strain that was on Paterno, and then him losing
his job, the guy died within like
two or three months. I think if they keep
hounding Cosby with civil suits,
these repeated flare-ups, maybe at some
point his wife leaves him,
I think he just, the stress
and strain, he can't take it. I bet he dies
within two years.
Cosby, that is.
Did we bet anything on that last
death pool? Did I win anything?
The fans will have to let us know.
Yeah, the fans will let us know.
We never pay up, which is why with the crapper thing,
I was like, right now, PayPal bet.
During the show, we pay off.
Because I would like these things to actually have stakes.
Yeah.
I think in painkiller history, no one's paid.
Instead of money, it should be something else, though.
It should be like an act that has to be performed at a next meetup.
I think that's more fun.
I'd rather it be more immediate.
I feel like we'll get there in person and let the guy off the hook.
I want to be like, all right, let's make a bet, you and I, right now,
at the conclusion of this bet, which, by the way, is six minutes from now,
someone singing a song or doing something.
I've got two in the chamber from christopher lee and abe vagoda so i'm gonna pick another winner here go for the the three pete
all right so the rule is boogie would you like to play along yes absolutely you pick
three people to be in the death pool one of them has to be under 40, which is really fun. The under 40 pick is my favorite.
Shit, who would be a good under 40 pick right now?
Oh, if I say it, I'm keeping him.
Go ahead.
Steveo.
Oh.
I don't want him to die.
Because you don't know.
Like Justin Bieber, for example, right?
Healthy as an ox.
But he could come out of anywhere.
He could just, like, boom, hit that OD.
Well, that's what I'm saying with Steve.
You never know when he's going to relapse.
You never know when he's going to climb another crane
and fall off the fucking thing.
Lil Wayne.
Lil Wayne's mine.
Lil Wayne.
Is he under 41?
Yeah, I heard he's back on the lane.
Hmm.
Well, I'm going to take Lindsay Lohan.
Oh, that's a good one.
A repeat choice.
All right.
I'm definitely going Cosby as one of my old ones,
so that leaves me with just one more of any age, I suppose.
I'm doing Betty White as one of my old ones.
Oh, that's good.
Bill Legend.
Huh.
Did somebody pick Lindsay Lohan before?
Is Kirk Douglas dead?
Kirk Douglas?
No.
I'm taking him.
He had that stroke.
He's 99.
He's 99 years old.
All right, so Woody wins this one.
I'm taking Kirk Douglas. There's a years old. All right, so Woody wins this one. I'm taking Kirk Douglas.
There's a couple presidents.
Bush and Carter are both very old.
He's making it for midgets for sure, right?
But I kind of feel like they're going to have the best hospital care on the planet.
So I don't know if they're good.
I don't know.
How old is Kesha?
That's a good one.
If it was a who's the stickiest person you can think of contest,
I already would have won.
Stickiest?
She looks like she'd be sticky.
You know what?
I wonder about...
Dumping champagne on herself every night?
There's sugar in that shit.
I was talking to my daughter about Kesha,
and I don't know the story.
God, I hate to start a hate train about Hope.
Sometimes that happens when I talk about her.
But she was saying that Kesha was raped.
And the situation that I understand
is there was a casting couch situation where kesha maybe slept her way to the
top or or workplace harassment situation where she slept with her manager so that he would be
her manager and help her be a star um i don't know i i I really get she sexually manipulated
her manager
that's how I see it
well I think the reality is
I wonder
what that did to his self esteem
and his self worth
she didn't want this relationship
like in all seriousness
I know Kyle's goofy
but in all seriousness
she didn't want this relationship
she fucked a guy
because she felt like
she had to
to get the job she wanted
is god I hate to like I was gonna say that's not rape right because she felt like she had to to get the job she wanted.
God, I hate to like... I was going to say, that's not rape, right?
I feel like I'm defending
this kind of awfulness.
No, of course it's not.
If anything, saying that's rape
trivializes what it actually is.
Rape. Yeah, yeah.
No, that's not rape at all.
That's not rape at all That's not rape at all
It's like saying, well I got slapped in the face once
Is it bad for me to say that I got the shit kicked out of me?
Yeah
Yeah, that's not what happened
That's a bold faced lie
Like I didn't get the shit kicked out of me
If I dangle the brass ring in front of you
And say the only way you can have this
Is to fuck me
I guess it's not rape, that's just not what rape is if kesha was some someone who actually was like a super talented
uh singer like if she if she was one of the if she was adele i like her songs it's messed up that
adele had to suck all that dick to get her voice finally heard but you know i kind of feel bad but
it's kasha i'm like like they could probably replace there's probably like eight Kesha's out there
and she was just the one who sucked the dick
she should just be happy she got the guy she got
the she got she got a chance
yeah there were eight other girls willing to suck that dick
if Kyle or no Woody like
you're not very good at voice impressions but if you
just had it in your heart that you wanted to be a voice
over actor for cartoons and stuff
and you were really willing to suck a lot of dick
some really old lady who just had it out for you and then you got in a cartoon show or something
and everybody kind of just dealt with you like you were okay whatever like but you were that
was your career now would you say that you were sexually abused to get where you got like no that
was a that was a tactical maneuver that you employed you're like i want to get there and
i'm going to do this like not really ethical on your part or her part yeah i but some young people define much more as rape
than i do uh like it's uh like it if she says no and then you like persist and persist until
eventually she gives in that's not rape to me see and like the broadening of that definition
of like oh you know uh this person got it's like did they really or did like they get felt up or
something like that like or was it just a sexual assault it's still bad but that is what causes so
many people to when someone comes forward to be like oh well how do we know this wasn't one of
those trumped up like uh you
know someone grabbed your ass briefly and then walked away like is that what we're talking about
or did you actually get raped like that like broadening that definition probably makes the
real victims of that feel isolated and that their suffering is being trivialized by other people who
just want the the good part the attention of it the victim status but didn't go through the horrible reality
like if you say no if i say no no no no all right i'm in i i shouldn't be able to be like dude he
coerced me he or she like you know like no no he well seduced you a lot of what you're talking
about is what they call great rape right you know it's not like violent rape, but it's like gray rape. Is that where you rape a black girl?
No, it's where you rape an alien, I guess, because they're gray, right?
That's green rape. That's green, okay.
They call that the gray rape area, and that still needs to be defined.
Number one, I don't think calling it gray rape is not right. I think
it needs to be
coercion or something to that effect. And like, if we're a society going to agree that no means no,
like if the very first time she says no, you get up and leave the apartment, if that's what it
needs to be, that's fine. That's what society will decide. I'll deal with that. You know,
I'm married. I'm very happily married. My wife is probably, I don't think ever even implied no.
happily married my wife is probably i don't think ever even implied no so i i'm a very lucky man in that respect but that said um like i have no problem that's what they want the future to be
but we need to define it i don't like i don't like it being in the same category as a guy who
finds you in an alley punches you in the face until you stop fighting him and then violently rapes you like that's a very different thing you know
yeah my wife is implied no and then i'll you know like if i stopped at the first no
i'd get less sex sometimes you gotta be like you know seducing convincing if you if you stopped at
the first no you might not be with her today. All right.
Hey, it's cute when Ryan Gosling doesn't stop at the first no.
That's what seduction is.
You're convincing the other person to fuck you.
That's what it is.
They'll tell you on college campuses these days, you're supposed to ask for every step of permission,
every step of the way.
May I touch your hand?
May I kiss you?
May I touch above your waist?
May I touch below your waist?
Stuff like that.
And that's what they want you to do.
But that's actually always come fairly natural to me
because I'm just shocked that someone wants to have sex with me.
So I'm like, holy shit, can I play with your titties?
And she's like, yes.
And I'm like, woo! And that I play with your titties? And she's like, yes. And I'm like, woo!
And that has never gone away with my wife either.
I'm like, can I play with your tits?
And she's like, yes.
I'm like, yes, best day ever.
You know?
I can't believe this.
I'm so lucky.
That dog got so big.
I've never been.
That dog got so big.
He's big.
Let me see.
I'm going to do a bad thing.
I'm going to let him stand up.
Christ, that dog is almost jack size already.
And you wanted him to get a wolf.
Dude, that wolf is fucking cool.
That wolf would eat that black dog for breakfast.
Maybe. I don't know. That's a big dog.
I don't know anything about...
That's an inappropriately large dog.
It is so big.
It is so, so big.
Wow.
I can't believe how huge that dog is.
Yeah, that dog takes shits bigger than he does.
You step in that dog shit,
you just throw the shoe away.
Yeah, you sink. It's like quicksand.
Wait, is that the same?
The black dog is a Great Dane.
What's the white dog?
He's kind of yellow.
He was a rescue, some sort of lab mix.
The yeller.
I just picked up a...
I forget what the breed is,
but my dog is a little nine-pound dog.
He lived with a family for a while,
and that family had to give him up,
so instead of going to a shelter, he came to us. And it's the best dog i've ever owned but i think it's so hilarious that
here i am i'm a giant and i have this little nine pound dog who just like sits on the top of my
tummy and watches television with he's the best thing i wish he's probably in bed with my wife
right now i'd go get him is it a little white fluffy dog or or is it like one of those skinny little chihuahua-looking things? He is a Tibetan terrier or something to that effect.
So he's got like brown and white fur, and then he's got – my favorite thing about him is he's got eyes just like Raffi from the Fine Brothers.
And so, I mean, no offense, Raffi, if you're watching.
I know you're not.
But literally he can't look directly at you if he wants to.
He has to kind of cock his head to the side to look at you.
And it's the most adorable thing in the world.
You know, that's evolutionary, so he can see predators.
Is that it?
Yeah, like a hammerhead shark.
No, that's made up.
Ender is a good dog.
He has the personality that I wish all my dogs had, right?
He's athletic yet lazy, and he's super loving,
and that's a pretty neat combo.
When I do get a dog, I think I had a friend who had a German Shepherd
that was really, really well trained,
and that turned me towards that kind of dog.
But then it's reminding me of like, well, it didn't just come out of the dog womb trained like that.
Someone had to put in a lot of work to get this thing to respond to German words and shit that you yell at it.
But I'm sure you could do that with any kind of dog.
But the Great Dane would be a lot of fun.
As long as it was a little smaller than that one you have,
because that's out of control.
I couldn't hear what you guys were saying,
but he's a little bigger than the other Great Dane we have,
but she's also a pretty big-sized dog.
Yeah.
Don't they have one pet boogie, just the dog?
Yeah, but I don't know that I ever want another one.
This guy is enough for me.
He's very interesting.
Like, he's very, I don't know.
I did not expect it to be as involved as it turned out to be, but he definitely
wants attention all of the time. He won't leave my foot most of the time. The only time he's
understood that this space is dad's space. So if he's in here, he has to be quiet. He has to set
still. So he doesn't like to be in here when I'm working. But the rest of the time, he's in my lap.
He's on my tummy.
He's laying at my feet 99% of the time, and he's just very involved.
He has to be let out about every two hours, which is super frustrating.
But he's a small dog, so they have small bladders.
Does he sleep at night?
Well, he is nocturnal along with me, actually.
So during the daytime, he's been sleeping, and then he's been staying up all along with me actually so during the the daytime he's been sleeping and then he's been
staying up all night with me um but my question is we've had a lot of issues with marking and
he's had that issue since he came here and occasionally we can break him from it um so
we'll go two or three weeks without an accident but then like last night he just like pissed all
over the place but unfortunately he peed in the bathroom and he peed in the the dining area so there was
both you know uh tile floor but what the hell do you do he's four and so he came to me like this
and i don't know if it's too late are you familiar with crate training you're right which we do
actually uh he does sleep in a crate about eight hours a day um no no no okay so like
um he stays in the crate
and then you let him out
and then you take him right outside
and that's the way he learns to...
Which is what we're doing.
That's exactly what we're doing.
Since he can't be trusted while I'm sleeping,
I keep his crate right next to me
and if he does need to go out,
he'll whimper and I'll take him out.
But then, you know,
after about eight hour mark, I'll get up, I'll take him directly outside, he'll go out and i'll take him out um but then you know at uh after about eight hour mark
i'll get up i'll take him directly outside he'll go out and then every couple of hours i'm letting
him out and sometimes i wonder if it's not marking as much as it is he was just not getting enough
attention last night because i was putting in a lot of work um the wife had to go to bed a little
about an hour earlier than she normally does and so i don't know it's just really frustrating i
don't know if we'll ever fully break him from it.
I've tried all the tricks, like, whenever he does go, show it to him.
This is one I learned.
Show it to him, wipe up his pee with a paper towel,
and then take the paper towel where you want him to go.
Like, that worked once, so maybe it'll work again today.
We'll have to wait until the 9th.
What I do, but I've done in the past, is I take the dog out there. I just want one.
I carry it, and then I
make it watch me peeing
outside. So I'll take my
dick out and start peeing outside, and I watch,
and I tell him, good boy, good boy, good boy,
and then eventually it figures it out.
I did the same thing. It's so funny.
It was embarrassing,
though, because my neighbor sees me out there shitting
in the yard, but I was proud of getting in the carpet.
It was just so messy.
It's more embarrassing when you're training them to shit in the neighbor's yard, right?
Yeah.
The neighbor's like, why are you shitting in my yard?
And you have to explain the whole thing about how you didn't want it in your yard.
I saw it on the dog whisperer.
Trust me.
Two weeks tops.
Two weeks tops and I'm out of your hair.
For weeks the neighbor was like, I think there's a bear around here.
This is a bear.
I don't know.
Sammy will go in the backyard to poop there, which is great.
I'm glad we're not picking up poop at least.
But the first few days we picked up every poop he took to keep him from being out in the backyard.
Then it got really cold out.
And so now we're just kind of leaving him out there.
And so whoever has to mow our back lawn this summer, I'm real sorry.
It's going to be real mad.
The old shards of shit.
Riding mower.
Take care of it.
I've told this story before, but I'll tell it again.
So I went to one of this guy's house for like a, I don't know,
like the hangout at his house and
play video games one time when I was like maybe 12 and I get there and apparently it was the day
that they clean dog shit up he has two Labradors they keep in like a fenced-in backyard so the
first thing we did when we get there like our first activity wasn't PlayStation it was I'll
hold the plastic bag and you scoop the shit into it. And I just remember I was carrying the bag,
and I just remember thinking, like, I'm never coming back here again.
This is bullshit.
First of all, like, they're drinking water instead of Sunny Delight,
which is bullshit.
And second of all, I'm carrying around an enormous trash bag full of dog shit
right now for fun, apparently.
I feel like they need to make those deposits first right like deposits talking about dog shit but like they if they
if you'd eaten a bunch of times yeah if you're eating dinner there if they had brought you games
if they had if you were practically part of the family then it it's like i could imagine a scenario
where they include you in family chores but that that doesn't sound like it went down.
Did Chiz ever pick up any of your dog's poop?
No.
Yeah, I wouldn't think so.
Chiz just received the love.
Can I tell another depressing story?
I have a really good depressing dog poop story.
Yes.
When I was in, I think it was kindergarten um they were
teaching us our colors might have been head start or something like that but preschool
uh but they're like hey who can name something that what color is this this color is white
who can name something that's white and i raised my hand and i said dog poop and my teacher goes
no dog poop is actually brown or black and i said, not the dog poop we have in our back bedroom.
And so this is one of the very first times it ever occluded me that I was growing up in a very inappropriate home and in a very inappropriate way.
Because I then had to explain to my teacher that we have like this back bedroom where we just store all the garbage.
And the dogs shit back there all the time.
And if you ever have to go back there, you have to deal with all the dog shit and a lot of the dog shit that's
been back there has turned white because it's been back there so long that's that's awful so you just
had a designated shit room like a bunch of streets in india right right it's like my mom would throw
trash in there and just that's like you can't have trash in the living room but she still has to hoard right so were there ever any animals in there did any any wild would throw trash in there. You can't have trash in the living room, but she still has to hoard.
Were there ever any animals in there?
Did any wild animals ever get in there?
Little cat skulls?
We always had some sort of rats or some sort of infestation cockroaches or whatever.
But anything bigger like a possum?
Unfortunately, no.
We did have a bat in the house a couple times.
Remember that?
Like a vampire bat?
Was it drinking blood?
No, it was just a regular old bat.
And my mom killed it with a broom.
That was awesome.
We put it in the freezer, and I took it to school for show and tell.
I thought for sure she'd throw it in the room.
It's like a dead bat to show and tell.
Oh, no. Yeah.
I don't...
I mean, we were a weird family.
We were the monsters of our neighborhood, I guess.
We once had two bats in our house in Apex.
And I immediately grabbed the phone, and we recorded us getting the hat.
I think we caught one of the bats and the other we got to fly out.
That makes good YouTube.
I love YouTube videos when, like, you see that, like, candid stuff.
I like it because you get to see people's houses and stuff.
And that's, like, fascinating to me.
Seeing other YouTubers' houses is just the shit to me.
I like to see how other people are living, right?
And it's so funny because when you see's living out in la they tend to live in like a tiny little apartment even though they're very successful because that's all they can afford
multi-millionaires holding up their computer monitor with seven boxes and some books right
and then you see like the people who um let's use like uh well i don't want to use anybody's
example i don't call them out but you find the ones that are living like, you know,
suburbia in Jersey or Kentucky or like southern Texas,
and they'll show their house and it's like a mansion
because they can afford that there, you know.
And you're like, wow, they're living awesome.
Sometimes it's stage of life too, you know.
Like, I don't want to call out names either.
But, you know, you take a young guy who you would estimate
has like two or three million in the bank.
They're just living in that LA apartment or a rented house
because it's their chosen lifestyle.
They don't have a family and kids and all that other stuff
to warrant the rest of the package.
We bought this house last year.
I think I talked to you about it the last time I was on PK.
We just got it.
It's a mortgage that we can afford at just a little over
$1,000 a month.
It's 2,700
square feet. It's in a really
nice flat north-east Arkansas.
It's all one floor, which is obviously important to
me with my bad knees and legs and stuff.
It's enough room for
friends and family to visit
and plenty of room to film in.
And that's all I ever wanted, all I ever needed.
I didn't need a mansion.
I mean, it's practically a mansion.
This is a mansion to me.
I don't know.
Are you in the same place where you filmed your really early videos
when you were in there throwing soda around?
Back when I had the Princess Leia poster and stuff behind me,
that was a 700-square-foot apartment.
It was split between me and a roommate.
Then we moved from it to a little 1,400-square-foot apartment,
including the garage, so about 1,200-square-foot of living space.
And that served us really, really well for a while.
And then now I've got enough room here to where if I want to set up a green screen
in the living room, I can do that.
There's a house tour up on my channel if you guys want to see it.
I've seen it.
Have you been to the new place?
Do what?
Check that out.
How long have you been at the new place?
It'll be a year in a couple months.
I'm not sure exactly.
That's nice.
You got a fresh start.
Yeah, it's been great.
There's plenty of room to store my Amiibos and shit.
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I actually haven't taken advantage of this yet.
I got my email from my personal stylist, and I haven't gotten back to him yet.
I need to make that happen.
I got a pair of jeans.
I'm in the same spot. I really want to start this too. I've been trying to dress a little
more nicely. I just feel better about myself if I'm in a button-down compared to a t-shirt or
like for years I wore the Woody's Gamer shorts and the t-shirt and felt, I don't know. The strapped
sandals. The mandals. Yeah. And then I don't know know, I wear a button-down, and my wife, like, you know, I can't really whistle, and, you know, does the thing.
And, like, I just, I don't know.
She says, you look good today.
And it's like, yeah, well, why don't I look better more often?
Every now and then, my wife will be in her pajamas at 1 p.m., i think you know fucking sort yourself out right that's me no no you just said you said i'll be like you know
sort yourself in my head but but what what i think you mean is you shout in her ear you know
get yourself shorted.
But, you know, in my head, it's like, yeah,
like I'm used to her being the best version of herself on a daily basis.
Yet me, I was pulling that stuff off like twice a month.
So it's now a little more often, you know, put on something better.
Yeah, I went on a shopping spree before this little winter trip because I didn't really have a lot of new winter clothes.
I went and got a bunch
of stuff. I really like all this winter stuff, though.
I wish I lived somewhere where it was colder more.
Where'd you go?
I went to an outlet, but I went to
Timberland and Calvin Klein.
Got a bunch of sweaters and
winter stuff.
You always want to live somewhere with more snow
until you live somewhere with more snow.
Yeah, right.
I think it's good to visit the snow
because it's treacherous out there on a daily basis on these roads.
We're kind of having fun with it because it's a vacation and all,
but I'm really glad that that Explorer that I rented has all-wheel drive
and a snow-slash slash ice mode on it because
anything less would, would be scary out here that the roads are just frozen. And especially the
roads in this area, like you can't see the asphalt. It's just, it's just ice. There's,
there's big piles of snow on either side of the road. And then there's an icy
Boulevard to drive your car down. Ice is hard. Like I, It's almost like there isn't a talent that really lets you
drive well on ice. You can learn to drive
well on snow because there's some
limited traction on there.
But if it's pure ice,
I've driven on ice where we were
going like three miles an hour
and then we hit the brakes and you don't stop.
It's downhill. You just keep sliding.
So now you're trying to like feather
the brakes as before, nice anti-locking, and just dodge sliding so now you're trying to like feather the brakes as before
nice anti-lock and and just dodge whatever it is you're sliding into like there's no good driving
if it's icy ice enough you're just out of luck yeah there's nothing more panic inducing than
driving with someone who is like confident in the snow but they've never been in like like they're
driving in like i don't know georgia for example. So they get confident there and then they come somewhere and they're like on
the ice in Chicago or Detroit.
And you're like in the passenger seat,
gripping your right foot is pushed down because you just intransically are
like,
I wish I could break this car.
I wish I could break this car.
They're going fucking up,
up two miles over the speed limit right now,
normal time.
And they think that that makes them good driving in the snow and ice where
they're like,
I can still drive same speed as always.
No, you're gonna get yourself fucking killed.
I hate that.
I hate driving with people.
It was scary getting here.
We drove, I said it on PKN, but I got my rental car at about 7pm and I got to my house at
like 6am.
So we drove all through the night.
We stopped for maybe an hour to get food and stuff,
and we stopped to pick Chiz up along the way.
He took the train in, as usual.
I thought for a minute with the conditions we were going to have to send
like a sled dog team for him or something,
but picked his ass up.
And, yeah, it was just snow and ice the whole way.
We drove behind snow plows for what seemed like an hour,
going 40 miles an hour,
through these mountain passes and stuff, and just blowing snow.
I'm so happy that that guy at the Alamo rental place recognized me and gave me that free upgrade.
You lucked out there.
That could have been a trip ruiner.
Because I...
Well, it was going to be a smaller SUV is what it was going to be.
But he upgraded us to that limited Explorer,
and I really, really appreciated it
because I didn't know where we were going to put Chiz at.
We were going to have to strap him to the roof Mitt Romney style
to get him here or something.
It was going to be a little treacherous.
I like the Mitt Romney reference.
He once strapped a dog to the roof.
Oh, that's what happened. gonna be a little treacherous i like the mitt romney reference he once strapped the dog to the roof and the dog the dog got so frightened it uh diarrhea all over the car and to him this was a story of how the romney's overcome and they found a hose and they hosed down the outside of the car
everyone else heard it and they were horrified at the animal abuse that haven't even occurred
to this aristocrat.
Like, what?
You mean the dog didn't like the frightened diarrhea experience it has?
He was like, oh, yeah, us Romneys, we're so resourceful.
We strapped the dog to the roof.
And then when it shit itself, we found a hose.
That's just how we work.
We make things happen.
We overcome.
And I was like, you're fucking cruel.
He's going like 75 miles an
hour down the freeway I did with Beverly
Hillbillies shit on the Explorer we
hosed it down and we just kept going no
big deal dude I did a um a day in the
life livestream yesterday did you guys
hear about it or see it or anything just
told me that you were live streaming
your day and that's all I know Yeah it worked out really well
Like I wasn't even sure how I was going to do it
I had like a couple things
Like I had like a gutter to fix
And I fixed it in the rain
So it was like kind of an awful experience
Just water pouring on the roof out the gutter
And I'm like hooking
The downspout fell off
So I fixed that
I had a battle box video to shoot and edit so like i did
that with the world and um it did really well like it i had a consistent thousand to twelve hundred
viewers which is a good number uh you know like the people who do that well usually stream all
the time or or it's like a special event or
something i just out of the blue was like let's turn this thing on today and see what i get and
there were a thousand people watching the whole time and the reception was really good people
seem to like it i'm convinced that this is a genre somebody will be successful with like there will be
some internet kardashian you need that drone that follows you and that to be streaming your day all day
while you're outside doing something
that requires you to walk the estate.
I'm fascinated by this.
What format did you do this on?
I did it on Twitch.
I did it on Twitch.
I had a laptop that I kept for a lot of it
and that did the audio and video.
Then when I switched over to editing I
used my desktop that I used all the time and like screen shared that with the webcam and um if I
were to do it again I think I might step up my audio a little bit so it'd be on my collar even
if I walked away from the like even though I got like 10 feet from the laptop I'd still have decent
audio and um I don't know I showed people my the things in my gun safe uh just hung out with people all day
long and like a bunch of old names i recognized were sort of hanging out and just chilling with
me and uh it was a it was a neat experience we made cookies my wife and i we made pizza but it
failed like the dough didn't rise or something and um but know, we're like getting live shots of the mixer and adding things.
And, um, I just thought like, let's do the Truman show today. Heck with it. And, uh, and it really
worked out until the Twitch mod shut us down. So I'm a partner. I'm lucky that I get like partner
support and I wrote him a letter, but they didn't write back. And I was like, you know, you should
consider this. Like, you know, this is what I did it was like 100%
clean and family friendly and cool and everything
and I was like
you guys you've got a couple UFC athletes
who live stream on here
what if they could take their fans to the gym
you've got to you know like what if some
actor brings their people to the set
what if you know just a regular
person becomes the next Kardashian
like instead of seeding
this ground to periscope and youtube like you should allow it did they shoot you down uh show
you down for non-gaming content was that it yeah so i thought that they stretched past gaming and
they have but it's gaming music and what they call creative and a lot of people were like you
should just classify it as creative, but that doesn't,
I feel like they've already classified it as not creative.
Right.
You know,
I honestly,
though,
if you think about it,
they are the people that got their start with Justin TV.
So I would take advantage of a channel that was just live,
just call it live or something like that.
And let me, or call it personality or whatever you want to call it. And let me just do that.
And then you've got those, no offense to these women, because I love you girls. Don't get me
wrong, but to the women who just want to be up there and, and show off their breasts,
let them do that in that category. Now, again again i would like to reiterate my position on
those i love you girls i love breasts and i love you for showing them that's great do that have fun
with it but that would give them a category to do that in it would give me a category to to do my
pre-show and my post show in you know like i'm already i'm i'm in gaming talk shows a lot more
often than i am even in a channel these days because i get in there and i answer chat and
talk about games and i talk about other stuff.
I do deviate every once in a while,
and I am always afraid of getting in trouble.
Hearing that you got shut down and you're Woody,
that's terrifying.
Yeah, I mean, they were nice about it.
They didn't, like, just to be clear,
they didn't, like, shut down my channel or anything.
The mod was like, you know,
hey, I sent you a message, you didn't see it.
I didn't. It was during dinner, you know? But he has. I don't know if everyone does, but he has the ability to
pop up almost an IM client, like an instant message type thing.
I was like, oh. I knew they expanded it. They included
music. They had Bob Ross on there for a long time. Gaming talk shows,
as you mentioned, is a thing that they have on there.
I guess in my head, I didn't realize it was gaming talk
shows like it's all well music
Bob Ross isn't but the gaming talk show
at least a derivative of gaming in some way
straight up
real life you know
like I think it'd be interesting
if a farmer brought
like Twitch along with them and you saw
them do that maybe a lot of people
wouldn't like that
but like whatever it is that floats your boat out there viewer like you know do you think it'd be
interesting if you followed a plumber along do you think it'd be interesting if you followed like a
mason animal control a policeman um like you know whatever it is that that's your cup of tea
like you could follow these things and maybe there's some cop that's freaking hilarious, right?
He's always either busting drug dealers or singing to his radio.
And he's the next sort of online star.
I don't know.
The EMT.
If you can live stream from a GoPro or something like that, I have no idea.
But put that on a professional hockey ref ref or professional basketball ref and you can
hear what they're saying to the players when they're out on the court or the ice or the field
or whatever i always thought that would be interesting to hear like if it's really professional
because they have videos of it of the nhl up there all the time and it's not nearly it's like way more
crass and cursing and like oh are you fucking shitting me ref like you goddamn like just way
more crass than you would think like I wonder what that would be like in football
or basketball or, well, I don't know what it would be
like in basketball because I don't care,
but I'm sure someone would.
Yeah, like someone is going to take this Truman Show concept
and make it really popular.
I feel like, I'm not saying it's me, you know,
I'll probably reach whatever heights I could reach.
But someone will be a Kardashian.
You know, it might be someone who's already famous.
Like, you know, I don't know.
Will Smith decides to start bringing you to the set or something.
Schwarzenegger.
Some politician shows you what governing is really like.
I don't know.
But I just feel like the real-life concept, the Truman Show idea,
could turn into something.
And hopefully Twitch gets on board and they let someone try it.
I watched a really good show today.
What did you watch?
The People vs. O.J. Simpson.
I watched the first part of what I think our eight-part,
is an eight-part miniseries on FX.
Chiz and I downloaded it last night and watched it
today. It's excellent.
They've got Cuba Gooding Jr. playing OJ
and it seems that they're
going to keep it ambiguous.
They certainly didn't show OJ kill
his wife. It's
left a bit ambiguous. But
you're certainly presented with every
bit of the evidence. And you've got
Marsha Clark, the prosecutor. She's like, why haven't you've got like marcia clark you know the
prosecutor she's like why haven't you arrested him already why haven't you done this like like
she's like a complete bulldog about the whole thing it's great um i love the first step the
first episode gets you up into the point where he's in the bronco and about that there he's about
to have the whole thing where he's driving down the interstate in the bronco uh and i was captivated for the whole thing it's like an hour and a half uh each episode with commercial breaks
because it's on fx um really really good lots of strong actors uh it's got um oh what's his
fucking name the scientologist guy that that there are rumors that he uh was getting hands
he was getting this one was getting handsy with the male masseuse.
John Travolta.
Travolta's in it.
He plays Shapiro.
And I think he might be producing this thing as well.
Really good, really good show.
I need to check that out.
I've heard it was trending on Twitter for being really interesting.
I don't even know that much about the OJ trial, to be frank.
I mean, I was like five years old.
I barely was old enough to remember it. I mean I was like five years old when it was.
I barely was old enough to remember it. I remember my grandmother was like really into
it and I just remember sitting on the couch with her and watching it and sort of overhearing
the grown ups discuss this whole thing and hearing what they had to say about it. So
I remember the characters, you know when I see, when I saw Marcia Clark's character with
the perm and everything I was like oh that saw marcia clark's character with the perm and
everything i was like oh that's marcia clark like i immediately recognized her when i saw shapiro
when i see johnny cochran um and and cupid gooding jr does a convincing job as oj he's not trying to
do an oj impression but um he comes off as a guy as he's got the personality down he's got that
uh he works as oj so i's an interesting time to do this now.
Like, what, 21 years later?
Because I think that was all in 95, right?
If, yeah, I believe so.
Something like that.
I remember.
93 maybe?
When he was caught, I was old enough to like, I kind of didn't give a damn.
It was like OJ Simpson did a thing.
How much would you care if some washed up
football player did a thing now well i stopped now come on now he was the face of hertz rental
cars he was he was you know the heisman winner he rushed for 2 000 yards he he was the guy in
the lethal weapon movies which were big at that time he was pretty big he was he was a guy um
okay okay gun right you guys remember rocket ismail wait lethal weapon
or naked gun um naked gun i'm sorry right do you guys remember rocket ismail the football player
he won a heisman um shit can you think of some heisman player from the 90s who's like not in
the pros anymore no right okay well it was Okay. But he was better than that.
He was like, I don't know.
Maybe if...
Who did he even play for?
He played for Buffalo.
No, college.
Oh, I don't know.
Shit.
Well, okay.
A bigger star is...
Who's the guy?
I think he played for syracuse he was an
amazing athlete played lacrosse and football jim brown i think i'm thinking of you guys know jim
brown i know i know the name jim brown i think i would recognize him if i saw him but i don't
know his accomplishments yeah so if you heard that jim brown was like you know just busted for
murdering his wife i think you'd be
like i don't give a fuck i don't think he's at the level of jim brown i think you gotta you gotta put
it like at the time he was such a celebrity that he was he was like he was in commercials on
television he was in movies and uh and at the theater like he was bigger than jim brown ever
was i think he's very close played uh he got drafted to the NFL in 1957
So
People
He would not have been given the benefit of the doubt
Like OJ was in a lot of situations
Being a black guy in 57
Not a fun time
I'm trying to think of another guy who's kind of parallel to OJ
Jim Brown was a much more successful
Maybe Bo Jackson
Bo Jackson I think is a bigger deal as
an athlete than than um OJ Simpson was but yeah I think so but um all right so they always give
a shit for talking about um like sports that we don't know anything about and maybe I don't know
anything about this but OJ is like a record-setting guy like I think I think OJ is considered one of the best running backs ever
but then you got
Bo who never really set any records
at anything he only played for a couple
of years before he blew out his hip or whatever
it was
Bo Jackson is kind of like
an urban
legend like a fairy tale we all watch that
Netflix thing about him you know you don't know Bo
a remarkable guy an incredible story but as far as accomplishments an urban legend like a fairy tale. We all watched that Netflix thing about him. You know, you don't know Bo.
A remarkable guy, an incredible story.
But as far as accomplishments, O.J. Simpson was,
I think we're, I think you gotta keep in mind what celebrity was.
Jackson's numbers aren't quite as big.
I just remember Bo being huge.
He was all over my TV.
Bo knows.
You say O.J. was in a Hertz commercial?
Yeah, I guess I kind of remember him.
It's as remarkable as fucking Donovick McMahon's stew commercial.
Just one lost in history, no name, whatever.
I think what you're forgetting with uh the oj simpson thing and
the reason it was so big was it really broke the media when he tried to escape in the white bronco
right so they they hear that there's a celebrity trying to escape in the white bronco and they're
doing the chase uh so they break the news and then it turns out to be oj simpson who's running
for murder you for murder I mean
it was a big part
of the time because there was a lot of people
glued to network television at the time
you got CNN broadcasting for 24
hours in and they've got to broadcast something
they cut to that white bronco and it turns
out OJ's inside it and then people
are hooked for the rest of the trial
what I was going to head to
what I was going to get to before I had to stop was it, not you, the,
it started off as not a big deal.
Like first he was being accused and I didn't really care.
I think a lot of people didn't.
Then the Bronco scene happened and that escalated it.
And I was like a slow speed chase. All right.
You know, that's who they kept calling it, the slow speed chase.
And, and that was kind of, but somehow during the trial,
it escalated to capture the national attention in a way that like,
I've never seen a court case do since.
Like everybody cared about it.
There was, was there a, did Nancy Grace cover it?
I forget, but like.
No, that was before her time. Was time was it careers were born following that thing there was a channel that like broadcast
it in in its entirety and people would watch the court case like it was a daily soap opera
and me who like just couldn't give a flip early on started caring.
And by the time they announced it,
I worked like as my first or second, whatever.
It was a professional job I worked at.
And everybody got around and someone had a radio,
like an old terrestrial radio.
And there was like, I don't know, 50, 75 people in silence,
hushed, listening to the uh to the radio
announced it and when they said not guilty everybody was like what like no a murderer
just came got all free i'll tell you like just watching the first hour so when i think back on
the thing obviously i was seven or eight or whatever it was. Maybe nine. I don't know.
I didn't care.
Even thinking back on what happened
and knowing vaguely what he did
and how he murdered them
and all that stuff. But watching that
hour and a half thing today,
I walked away feeling angered.
I know OJ is currently in prison
for that bullshit kidnapping thing
where the guy's had his memorabilia and he said,
Nobody's leaving this room. I'm the juice.
Or whatever, and that's kidnapping and they just put him away. Good.
But, like, watching this thing and, like, Marsha Clark is kind of the voice of reason, it seems.
Everybody else is spellbound by this guy's celebrity.
They were all big football players.
You gotta think, you know, it's these 40-year-old male cops who are all in love with this guy and were fans of him,
so they're all tiptoeing around him.
And Marsha Clark is like,
I don't care how many fucking yards he rushed for.
She's looking through the police records,
and eight times the police have been called
because of domestic abuse with OJ against his wife,
or Nicole.
And they talk about the bruising on her face. All this stuff is factual stuff
because the show is based on a book that was written some years later. I'm really digging
it so far. It's the thing I'm most interested in right now. Aside from The Wire, which I'm
rewatching because they re-released it in HD in the correct widescreen format rather
than that bullshit with
the black bars like it used to be so that's what I'm watching right now I'll fly through this
because I talked about it on Painkiller nearly which our patrons have heard but Occupied this
like Norwegian TV show it's 10 episodes they're all an hour was amazingly good I'm sitting here
I'm like should I re-watch this like it premise of it is, in an effort, it happens slightly in the future,
they want to get away from, what do they call oil and stuff?
Fossil fuels.
Fossil fuels, perfect, thank you.
They want to get away from fossil fuels to a cleaner burning energy,
and they shut it down, and then they don't have the support of Europe.
This all happens in the first episode of europe and russia so they basically threaten war and rather than do that he agrees to let the
russians come in and like get fossil fuels back up but then you realize over the course of the
series that the russians are getting very hard to eject from the country And it is so compelling to watch what is basically
like a no shots fired occupation, declaration of war,
annexing another country, breaking a country's sovereignty.
And it's, I think to myself, like,
this all seems like a thing that could really happen.
That's how you get happen that's how you get
that's how you take over norway without getting like the us and europe and stuff to
to interfere to intervene you just do it sort of like yeah no no but just we just took over the
oil rigs we're going to get them up to speed then we're going to go home and then you know like just
they just don't you know yeah yeah and it's like you
know what what like like the slightest wrong thing would happen like i don't know oh i um
a russian gets hit by a car and it's like whoa well i shit i feel like you guys aren't protecting
the russians this place isn't safe for us we need some Russians involved in your police and government I mean a Russian got hit by a car you know we're
gonna cease all negotiations we're done talking to you guys until we feel like
this isn't gonna happen anymore and the Norwegians are like a car accident like
dude you know and it's amazing to see it escalate and the acting is all
first-class I'd assume.
I mean, I'm reading the subtitles.
Wouldn't it be better, though?
The acting is great.
I don't know what they're saying, but I'm convinced.
It looked really good. I love the idea of this, but I can't help but think that it might be a more entertaining version of this would be if it were Mexico's national resources and the United States taking them.
I would love that. Right. I would love that.
Right? I would love that.
Not to happen, but to watch.
No, I feel like that setting
would be more entertaining
and Spanish is...
I certainly don't speak Spanish,
but I know a lot of words in Spanish.
I don't know any fucking Norwegian.
Oh, you do.
Do I?
Bomba?
It's bomb?
Is that bomb?
There's a couple.
Bomb is a word that's used a lot.
And you hear them.
They're like, hulky-pulky, socky, bomba.
And I'm like, oh, that's the part where they said bomb.
I got it.
But, yeah, dude, I'm so – I loved Occupied occupied so much i watched it like an addiction and um
i i don't know i feel like my um movie and television picks are going to be completely
written off forever now because i didn't like the revenant and i like this weirdo subtitle
norwegian thing but i really liked it oh better call sa Call Saul's on Netflix. That's good, too.
I just re-watched Better Call Saul,
and I'm now in the middle of
The Nick, that Doctor
show. I have exciting news
about Better Call Saul, by the way, if I can
say that. I'm so excited
because I like to stream my stuff,
and I like to pay for it, but I also
like to get it for free on a service I'm already using,
and Netflix will be premiering the next season of Better Call Saul
on Netflix the day after it airs.
So you won't be able to watch it live, obviously.
That's so exciting to me, because that's the world I want to live in.
That's a great show.
When does Better Call Saul come out?
Last year?
No, the season two.
There's already been a preview for the new season, I would imagine, maybe in the fall.
Oh, man.
That's one of my favorite shows ever.
Game of Thrones is only a couple months away.
You're like two months away from Game of Thrones.
I think the last time I was on here, I had not watched Game of Thrones, and now I have.
I'm fully caught up, and I love everything about that show.
And holy shit, were you guys right. everything about that show and holy shit were you
guys right. Damn that show
is good. It's great. You know what?
It's good to hear from someone who's
all positive about it
for a change because it went through a cycle
where when I first got into Game of Thrones, me and everyone
I introduced it to was like this is the best fucking
show I've ever watched and then
felt that way all the way through like season 3
and then season four came around
and everybody got in a big slump
of like, oh, this is just kind of going to shit now.
Is that old fogey George
ever going to write anything? And now
it seems like it needs to be a brand new person who hasn't
been poisoned by haters
to get into it to where they're just like you
and just like, I'm excited about it. I'm happy.
I'm sure eventually I'll get like
frustrated like everybody else, especially having to wait for'm happy. I'm sure eventually I'll get like frustrated like
everybody else, especially having to wait for that
show. I can't imagine what it was like
for you guys to have to wait for some of these
story arcs week to week or God forbid
season to season. That would
I would have become better too, obviously.
I had to wait for the fifth book. It was awful.
I was having to wait
because I would binge on this
stuff in between working on YouTube, working on Twitch.
If it were up to me, I would just binge on it.
But my wife wanted to watch it with me.
And so really, realistically, with her work schedule, which is changing, by the way.
I'd love to talk to you guys about that.
But with her work schedule, she was only really able to see one episode, maybe two in a day.
That's no good.
That was tough, tough, tough.
What's your favorite storyline slash favorite characters so far from the whole series? maybe two in a day. That's no good. That was tough, tough, tough. She gets left behind.
What's your favorite storyline
slash favorite characters so far
from the whole series?
I really like Arya Stark.
She is such a cool character.
I love the whole
assassin brotherhood thing,
whatever it is that she's getting into.
I'm just fascinated to see
the way that's going to turn out.
And of course,
it's hard to not love Jon Snow, obviously, and that whole story arc. And then I just fascinated to see the way that's going to turn out and of course it's hard to not love john snow obviously um and that whole story arc and then what i i'm excited to see what
they're doing with him the next season obviously no spoilers for the people who haven't seen it
um what don't i like about the show like i love everything about the show there's literally
nothing i don't like i've got a thing you could not like. What? Go ahead. Sansa Stark needs to more quickly become a player in the Game of Thrones
instead of just a pawn that gets victimized for five years.
Right, right.
And actually that is really super frustrating
because it's obvious who she's going to become, right?
But she's just not doing it, and she's so reluctant.
And that's the thing.
It's not that the writer is reluctant.
It's that the character is reluctant.
I mean, obviously the writer is making the character be reluctant,
but it's just a natural fit for that character.
Some of the players are players because they're great fighters and leaders of men.
And then there's other people who are clever.
Like Littlefinger hasn't ever beat up anybody i think in his entire lifetime
no he's been beat up a lot but he always comes out on top yeah yeah he gets beat up a lot um
and he but but he's very clever and he's therefore a serious player in the game of thrones he wasn't
even born into power sansa stark i think we're going to see her become just as equivalent as...
Shit, what's that Lannister woman's name?
Cersei.
Cersei, thank you.
In the same way that Cersei is a player in the Game of Thrones, Sansa can be too.
But it seems like too much.
Sansa's not evil, though.
No, no, no.
I guess I'm just saying that you don't have to be Jaime or Ned to be a player.
There's other ways to do it.
I'm done with Sansa.
I don't care what happens to her anymore.
She'll probably do some interesting stuff, but it's going to be a long fucking while.
She's a really boring character right now.
She doesn't have to be.
No, she doesn't have to be.
You're absolutely right, but she is.
My biggest complaint, and we all agree on this, I know, was not only the
Sand Snakes
storyline
and the whole Dorne thing
with Jaime taking Bronn to Dorne and all
that, which never even occurred in the books.
And I don't care that it didn't occur
in the books. It was flat out unentertaining
and didn't make sense and was kind of weird
and poorly put together.
If you're going to deviate the books, you have to be better, not worse.
Yes, you want to elevate the story,
not just like
fill air time.
That whole Sand Snakes thing, it was like
every moment of that
could have been spent
either furthering Tyrion's storyline,
which was interesting, is interesting,
or giving us a little more insight into what Arya's
doing in the House of Black and White over there
with all the magicians and the faceless men.
That's the interesting shit.
I don't want to see that.
I did like seeing the one Sand Snake chick topless,
but then I found out those were CGI titties,
and that really pissed me off.
No wonder they were so perfect.
I would vote no CGI titties.
I hate that.
In life.
In life, ever. I never want to see any CGI titties ever,'m I hate that. I feel like In life. It's never again.
I never want to see any CGI titties
ever, ever, ever, ever. There's too many real titties
out there. You should get the fine bros to copyright
that and then strike everyone who tries to
utilize them. Yeah. That I would support.
If they were to do that, that would be
supported. Gain subs.
Before I watched Game of Thrones, like, because
of South Park and stuff, I had this impression
that all they did was show, like show men's flaccid penises.
Because obviously that's what South Park built up.
And then I'm like, I'm watching the show,
and it's not like I want to see men's flaccid penises,
but that doesn't bother me either.
No, the lookout.
Right, but I'm like, I have this expectation to see a lot of flaccid cocks.
No flaccid cocks, no erect cocks either.
None, I think they're here.
There's like three cocks across the whole show.
It's so rare. I went back and re-watched it after that South Park
episode because I thought the same thing. I'm like,
wait, did I just tune out all these dicks in this show?
Am I just not paying attention
to men's groin areas?
And then I re-watched the whole show
not just to fiending with a notepad
looking for time stamps for cocks
but just notice there's no dicks in this show. looking for timestamps for cocks, but just notice like there's no Nixon.
That's the thing for me too, by the way.
Like a lot of people are like, you know,
Boogie, we can't have the naked female form
and we can't glorify the naked female form.
We can't objectify.
We can't sexualize it.
I've always been of the school of thought
that you want to do that.
I want to do that to everybody.
I want to do that to everything.
People like sex.
I like sex. I like sex in my video games. I like sex in my movies. I want to do that to everybody. I want to do that to everything. People like sex. I like sex.
I like sex in my video games.
I like sex in my movies.
I like sex in my shows.
I like sex in my life.
I want sex.
I want to look at sex.
I want to think about sex.
I want to jerk off to sex.
Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex.
Put sex in everything.
Put big dicks in things.
Big flaccid dicks.
Hard dicks.
Put vaginas into things.
All the time.
Fucking 24-7.
Put fucking into children's children shows i don't care
sesame street i want to watch big bird fuck snuff lobogus fucking is great sex is great
putting i don't want less fucking and less sex i want more fucking and more sex that's what i want
i think you're already bitches i agree with you like 90 but doesn't it also bother you a little
bit when there's like a really intense storyline going on
and then just there's like a three
minute sex scene and you're kind of just like come on
alright what's going to happen when's that guard going to
break in the door like what the fuck
I mean it depends on who's fucking honestly
and how hot they are you know
like a
three minute sex scene with Tyrion is a little awkward
for me because I don't find Tyrion
particularly attractive.
Every time the red woman gets naked, I'm happy.
Right, yeah. Oh, God, yes.
She never gets naked willy-nilly.
She gets naked because it's part of some dark
ritual. Those little gyps have to be out.
I don't know why he's calling her out.
The one to call out is Jon Snow's girl.
She's the hottest girl in the whole show.
Oh, yeah. The redhead who died?
Yeah.
You know nothing, Jon Snow.
I thought the red woman was better looking.
The red woman you'd take over.
I got a thing for redheads.
I married a redhead, and I'll say.
Well, they're both redheads.
Right, but I'll definitely say his girlfriend was way hotter.
His girlfriend was really, really hot.
She doesn't need a name.
She's dead now, so who cares?
Egret.
Egret, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm trying to think of another girl that might compete with her for hottest.
In the book, she was supposed to be a little homely.
Yes.
She was not in the show.
All right, so I think hotter than her.
So definitely Marjorie, who's played by, what's her name, from the Tudors.
She's fucking gorgeous.
She's also super hot.
I don't know if I can pick a winner between them.
She's much hotter than the redhead.
But I think the red woman.
I'm always going to give redheads benefit of the doubt.
Yeah, yeah.
I like the red woman.
I think she's really hot.
Stannis' witchy girlfriend, witchy woman.
I bet they had really straightforward sex, though.
Yeah, yeah.
I bet it was really quick, too.
I bet it was literally no more than 90 seconds.
He's got so much going on in his head.
He's like, God damn it.
I thought this would be fun, but now I've got to go big battle plans.
That's what they said about JFK,
that JFK never lasted more than three minutes
because he had shit to do.
What a great excuse to be
the busiest man in the world
and so even if you prematurely ejaculate
every time, it's like, well,
how much time do you think you're worth?
Prematurely ejaculate?
You mean efficiently ejaculate.
That's true.
You think most animal species would survive
if premature ejaculation were out there?
No, two wolves don't have half an hour to kill
out in the wilderness.
Eat each other out.
They gotta get moving.
Do we need a new topic?
That was like an animal fucking, okay.
I'm about to say this conversation just got good.
I thought it had just paused.
This is the peak AA I expect.
I docked my grandmother.
You did?
Yeah.
Well, she's dead now, so she won't care.
Like a gravesite?
No.
I've talked on this show many times about how my father grew up broke.
If you guys don't know, my father was super successful.
He lived a pretty neat life, naval aviator.
He owned his own accounting firm.
But he was born broke.
His father ran away when he was 10.
And they were all happy about that because he was a drunk who beat his mom and the kids.
And I was like, I wonder if I can find this house just by navigating it through Google Earth,
barely remembering how to get there. But I ended up just doxing him. wonder if I can find this house just by like navigating it through Google Earth, like barely
remembering how to get there. But I ended up just doxing him and I thought I would share it on
the show. Now I should note, no one in my family lives here. I think the house might be empty. I'm
not even sure. So fuck with them if you'd like. I was actually going the other way. Like don't
send them pizzas or anything because you're not
you're not getting anyone that you're that you're willing to target but um this is where my dad grew
up and i thought it was kind of interesting i don't know if i can fit like more in the screen
that works and uh i've also talked about this like i'm not particularly great it's this um house with the
pumpkins if you didn't catch that people watching there's a couple houses in the shot but um i'm not
great at identifying bad neighborhoods right like they always they mostly seem like normal
neighborhoods to me like you know like how can you tell this place is a dump uh if you drive up
and down the street here virtually i I remember I was seeing cars that like
the entire roof was rusted off and stuff like that. It's kind of a sign. But this is where my
dad grew up. This is the lot that he used to mow. And I think I've even mowed once or twice.
And yeah, I don't know. I don't know where i'm headed with this but i thought it was
interesting i was like i'm gonna show these people where where my people come from it's uh
gloucester new jersey there's a i don't think that looks like uh were you saying you think
this does look like a bad neighborhood um well i don't think it really it looks bad i don't know
that it looks bad but it definitely looks poor i mean you can tell the people who live in here are definitely probably paycheck to paycheck.
You can tell by the paint jobs on the houses.
You can tell by the conditions of the cars, stuff like that, you know?
I can tell you, I looked at the house on Zillow, and I forget the number,
but it was either $38,000 or $44,000 for the house.
Wow.
So that's cheap by houses, I would say, $38,000 or $44,000.
It didn't have these satellite dishes on it back when my grandmother lived there.
That house next to it, it's kind of gray, next to the green and white one.
It's the one that caught fire.
And it caught fire, and then all the paint and stuff was boiled off and flaked off in my grandmother's house.
But instead of fixing it, they kind of used that money to live on.
And every time you go in there, there's fire damage in the bedroom.
Nice.
That was a thing.
Well, at least there weren't bats flying around in just the designated dog poop room.
Because that sounds probably worse. I was going to say, this summer, if my health permits, I'm going to take my wife back to, and I'm going to vlog the whole thing.
I'm going to take my wife back to the place where I grew up in and show her some of the houses and film it.
And I would link to one on Google Maps, but Google has not mapped that area
that I grew up in. It's that remote and that messed up. I mean, it does go, there's a road
that goes by the town I grew up in, but that's it. It doesn't go into the areas that I lived in
or anything close to it. You lived in Arkansas your whole life, right?
I lived in southwestern Virginia.
Shout out to St. Paul, Virginia.
And there's some nice parts of St. Paul for certain.
If you live up on Gray Hill, you probably have a real nice life.
But if you live down in River Road and the places that we lived,
and specifically the houses we lived in, you'd probably not have a very nice life.
We also lived down in Castlewood for a while.
It was so bad that a week after we moved out of the
first house I lived in, the
landlord burnt it down because my
mother and father had trashed it so much.
And so we were, we still
have my brother's rescue
squad like emergency
band radio and mom
would listen to it all the time.
Somebody's like like does anybody know
how to get a hold of brian uh why his house is on fire so we drove to castlewood and watched that
place burn and uh they said the source of the fire was electrical or whatever but my brother
is convinced and i i tend to agree with him that they actually the landlord burned it down because
we destroyed that house living in it wow geez Do you talk to your parents at all anymore?
Are they still around?
Mom passed in 2009 and dad passed in 2001.
But he had a stroke due to his alcoholism
that pretty much took him out 10 years earlier than that.
I was so afraid.
It was some sort of bacterial infection related to the white dog shit.
Yeah, they inhaled that white dog shit dust.
That'll get you every time.
It's funny because me and my brother and my sister growing up in that,
my brother is convinced that, and he has a degree in health science, he said that probably the reason I've survived the infections that I've gotten
have been because my immune system is probably insane from having grown up like that so you owe your life to white dog shit
yeah I probably owe my life to growing up in a fucking shithole yeah that's great that's a great
way to look at it the uh when I lived in Ocean City and it was a nice house and it wasn't like
a dump or anything but two doors down there was a house that hoarders owned and uh when i moved there no one lived there so we used to like i guess break
in i don't know there there was a way to get in i forget if it was a broken window or a window that
wasn't locked or something and we'd go in there and it was you'd like climb the mounds of stuff
i don't know what the stuff was.
Newspapers and furniture. Sometimes broken furniture. The kinds of things you'd find in a dumpster
almost. Sometimes there were paths from room to room. Sometimes it was
like just climbing on a giant trash heap and we would go
exploring. I want to say at one point the house cracked
open almost like
like picture the corner of the entire home it just split like a seam that had ruptured wow
and then um and then it got bought by a guy with um like a lot of elbow grease and some
construction skills and he emptied it all out fixed it up and rented it and stuff made it better
but yeah there was a hoarder's house like i've seen
legit hoarding that's always boogie but yeah yeah mom wasn't so much of a hoarder as it was just
she would keep like the front rooms clean because she was all about appearances and keeping up
appearances right uh they like one of the reasons they never got me out of that home
with all the abusive stuff that was going on is because she hit it very very very well this is a woman who taught preschool
so i mean they trusted her with 20 30 kids at a time um but uh yeah the back rooms were always
just just trash just garbage and i never understood it i just never really comprehend couldn't you smell it like i i feel like sorry
taylor it always seems to come from a place of this stuff has value why would you just throw it
away or right someday we won't have money so this is almost like a savings account right yeah you're
gonna go find your own dog shit when the economy crumbles? That's why we have a surplus.
I actually have that tendency is in my mind as well.
And so I found a thing that in my mind makes sense.
So that's what I do.
It's Magic the Gathering.
And to this day, I've been investing in Magic the Gathering cards for over 20 years.
And I've never lost money.
I've only made money.
I spend on the hobby probably $4,000 to $5,000 a year,
much of which is earned back through sponsorships
when I do unboxings on my gameplay channel
or on YouTube or whatever.
And then, of course, tournament winnings and things along that line too.
And my collection is very, very considerable.
It takes up
about a quarter of our garage currently jesus christ right yeah i mean i won't even throw away
the comments sometimes because you never know what's going to be the next raincore what's going
to be the new serum visions you know and so i i hoard it all i sometimes say the same thing yeah
yeah you never know it's going to be the new serum visions right yeah oh my god you know
raincore sometimes they just pop out where you least expect them like you know that's kerberos did that too and
so did flying nuggets what's so funny is kerberos is so close to the name of a magic card
it's also the name of like an nvidia card i think or something
there's erboros he's a god from th I think. There's Ereboros.
He's a god from Theros.
And I was like, oh, Ereboros.
Yeah, he might be worth something one day.
He's on a $5 card right now, but one day.
Someday.
I don't think you could pay Woody and Kyle to play Magic.
Oh, I play.
No, no.
I would be into it.
I feel like if we had a deck right here, I would play.
We've been playing a lot of board games.
We've been playing Monopoly and random stuff.
I think we're going to get a very serious risk game going on
because there are two people here, one of them being Chiz,
who consider themselves risk experts.
And so I'm going to get that started.
Real quick interjection.
If we get this whole trip where we're all together to work out,
we all need to buy a starter deck and play some magic.
Hell yeah.
Okay, sure.
I'll do that.
Put that on your channel.
I will watch the shit out of you guys playing magic.
Does Wings play?
I'm sure Wings knows how to play.
He knows how to play D&D.
If not, it's not that difficult.
I would be willing to play that.
That's what we should do.
Wasn't Wings the dungeon
master? Wasn't he the guy who leads you through
the thing or whatever? I've played D&D
before, but there are so many fucking rules
I couldn't even begin to figure it out
unless I had someone watching my hand. I played D&D
as a kid, and I'm sure I did it
improperly. There's a lot to know.
Pick up second. I think Wings is an expert.
Third edition and
forward is fairly complicated, but realistically, if you pick up Third edition and, like, forward is fairly complicated.
But realistically, if you pick up second edition again,
second edition is so simple.
Once you understand the THACO system of D&D,
once you pick up the second edition of D&D,
every time I think about DMing again,
I think about DMing second edition again
because so much of your character was in your head in second edition.
Unless you're playing a wizard or a priest,
then it's a lot of character sheet issues.
But if you're playing a warrior or a paladin or a rogue or whatever,
there's nothing that differentiates you from another rogue or another warrior.
I feel like there was tables and tables,
like charts and charts of army and melee and first move.
But that's all for the
dm to work with you know as a player you can walk if you've got a good yeah wings would do that for
you right that would be fun to have wings invent the story as we go yeah you think he'd be good at
it because i remember we were doing that game where we had to complete the story he wasn't the
best at coming up with a narrative on the fly. I feel like
one of us might be really good at that. I feel like
I'm good at that. Like just bullshitting
some sort of silly narrative. I feel like Kyle has a natural
aptitude for it. No experience. Just picking something up
off the fly. Yeah.
You can tell a story. I think that stuff's fun.
Like when I was
writing the fake
Game of Thrones passages and we were trying
to see if it was me or George R.R. Martin.
I should do that again.
I think that was fun.
I'm going to do that some because that's super easy
and it takes five minutes of my time.
But what I really want to do is some prank phone calls.
I keep saying I'm going to do it.
I've got my setup all set up to record them and everything.
And I was talking to Chiz about this.
It's like you've got to come up with a bit, though.
There has to be a reason you call the person and
i don't want to just copy someone else's you know what we generally do is call someone and and just
hope for you know i try to be spontaneously funny or try to like get something out of them on the
fly based with what i'm handed and i have to come up with it all on the fly but if we had like a bit
like i've seen they did a thing on the stern show once this prank phone call where they have like an elderly husband and wife calling the animal control in the background you
hear a monster roaring and then they're like yeah there's some kind of a furry thing i don't know
it's in the girl well it's a werewolf and at the end of the call you hear the werewolf ravaging the
guy just ripping him apart and and it's roaring like a monster, and you hear him scream, My balls! It got my balls!
And his elderly wife are like,
It took his balls! His balls!
And Animal Control is like,
You need to call 911! 911!
So if you've got a bit like that,
I think you can have a lot of fun.
I think it's a good idea for you to pre-record the calls.
So then there could be a section of the show
where it's for six minutes or whatever.
We just play those, and we all
watch and laugh, and then it's over.
So there's no big
dilly-dallying or
fucking around.
Oh, we can call this person. Oh, they didn't answer.
Well, shit. That's six minutes down the drain.
That would be good, but on the
subreddit, they were making a pitch
for a live Pka and i think that
now we have to be careful because some patreons pay because they get the show on thursday night
instead of saturday afternoon or morning but having said that maybe if every once in a while
maybe as often as we did live pkns like a monthly thing or bi-monthly thing we did a live
pka and that might lend itself to some prank calls and it could be fun yeah yeah and that's a totally
different thing in my opinion like if we're doing a live show then a live call makes more sense to
me it's like because because you can get feedback from the from the audience and you can even
utilize that live audience to further fuck with someone you know
you can you can invent some sort of celebrity you could you could call a hotel and you'd be like hey
i got chris rock i'm chris rock's published publicist we're we're gonna be staying there
tonight just so you know it's been leaked already it's on tmz they know we're coming to that holiday
and and then we have all our fans calling and looking for chris rock blowing up you know we
could we could utilize them in some way too yeah's fun too. Yeah, I remember, what was he called?
Taylor the Guest?
Do you remember?
The Sub.
Taylor the Sub.
Taylor the Sub.
That guy you guys had on years ago?
Yeah, yeah.
So what happened is we used to call subs every now and then,
and nine times out of ten, as soon as you put them on the mic,
they'd kind of flop, they'd freeze up.
They weren't ready. But Taylor the Sub took to it really well, 10 as soon as you put them on the mic they kind of flop they'd freeze up they didn't have they
weren't ready um but taylor's sub took to it really well and we had him on for i don't know
four or five more shows but he used to do a lot to involve the live stream as like the fifth host
and he'd have them like creating photoshop stuff or i don't know if we were to go live i think we'd
have to incorporate that fifth host. It'd be fun.
Yeah, definitely agree.
Just to manage it and keep their finger on the pulse.
But I feel like that's a
completely different thing than the idea of
pre-recorded prank phone calls.
They're just different.
They're both prank phone calls and they're both messing with people
over the telephone line, but you approach
them completely differently.
I think if you're pre-recording something, then your
final product can be extremely polished.
You can put three or four of them together.
You could work for eight hours at getting three prank phone calls
and have all three of them be gold,
rather than spending one hour and have five bad ones and one chuckle.
Yeah.
I used to do prank calls at my local gaming store all the time
and the premise I would always use
and this is a good one
pretend that you are
baked out of your mind, drunk out of your mind
some sort of altered state
and that you're calling for a ride
and that clearly you've got the number wrong
and this is especially
funny when you wake them up
it's like Tim, Tim listen dude
they're
gonna get me caught they're gonna catch me drunk driving again i'm gonna jail tim fucking help
okay then i'll get i would get like their number and get their name with it and generally it would
be a friend of somebody and you would get like four or five voicemails in a row before you'd
eventually get somebody and then one guy would just hang up on you i don't know who you're
talking about it takes a while to get some gold out of it. When you get gold, you get that one guy that's like,
look, dude, I'm willing to come get you.
I don't know you, but I'm willing to help now.
Where are you?
The other one we would say,
we saw your phone number written in the bathroom here.
And people are like, well, where is here?
And I'd be like, oh, I don't want to say, man.
You're going to come erase it.
I just know you're for a good time.
And like,
they'll keep you on the phone to try to,
we need to get boogie on it.
Phone number is written on the wall.
I,
I have an actual experience with that one.
The first one you did of someone calling you,
this wasn't a prank.
This was just a situation where someone calls you really fucked up and they need you to like do them a favor.
It was like one in the morning. And I knew that a lot of my friends are out getting fucked up at some bars i left way
earlier because i was tired and i was sleeping and i got like five calls back to back and i kept
just hanging up and hanging up and eventually i answered it and i was like i knew who it was it
was my buddy and i was like dude what's up like it's two in the morning and he was like uh yes
is uh is this taylor and i was like, yes, is this Taylor? And I was
like, yeah. He's like, this is Officer Smith. I'm here with your friend. It seems like,
do you have any idea what he was doing tonight? And I'm like, I don't know. I think they went to
Bengals or one of the bars on campus. He's like, okay, okay, that makes sense. Well, we're about
a mile and a half from campus at XYZ Park. uh he's just sleeping here at the park right now we
need you to come pick him up we tried to get him in the back of the cop car he's being rambunctious
we don't want him to throw up just we need you to come get him and i was like honestly i quit
drinking like five hours ago too and i was pretty drunk so there's no way i can go drive and i'm not
gonna go drive to cops and be like hey how you doing i was just here to get him you know and
just throw him in the car and so i went through my like entire contact list i called like 20 22 people
and uh every single one of my friends it was a real wake-up call of who my friends were where
it was like every one of my friends was too fucked up to help until eventually the cops
just like honestly fine just tell me where to drop him him off. I will get your buddy to wherever he needs to be
because we are tired of waiting out here.
We've been out here for an hour and a half
waiting for this guy to wake up enough
to get in a car and get left,
or get picked up from this fucking park
because he's passed out drunk.
We don't want him to get raped by a homeless guy.
So yeah, it was a really aggravating conversation.
Wow, that's pretty awful.
That's funny.
I thought you were going to say it was an awakening thing
to show you who your real friends are.
There's a country song, I think, that's like that.
You find out who your friends are.
And it's something about being on the side of the road
with a dead battery or something.
The people who will actually come when you call,
like, hey, man, I'm on the side of the road,
who will drop their shit and come get you.
I thought you were going to go in that direction.
But you were just finding that all of your friends were alcoholics.
All of my friends?
Well, it was like a Friday night, so I wasn't like, oh, my God,
on a Tuesday, guys?
But it wasn't that big.
Yeah, Woody and I are always blitzed on a Friday night.
Oh, God, Woody, I found the drink for you.
They have the most silly commercials.
They're like, for when you want to live life
a little hard-ish.
It's lame, hard beverage.
I wish I had written it down. I'll have to find it.
It was like Mike's Hard Lemonade, but even
lamer.
They were like,
I don't know how lame they were.
What's that?
Twisted tea. That's what Woody needs.
He could absolutely drink that and enjoy it.
I think I would really like drinking.
Every time I'm on the show, I'm just like,
I should become an alcoholic.
That's not really fun.
Well, just have a little bit of middle ground there.
Oh, no, no, no.
You know me.
If I do it, I'm going all out.
I know what alcohol is.
I'm going to be straight lining vodka into my anus.
Day one.
I know what alcoholic beverage Woody would love.
I bet he agrees.
It's that apple pie moonshine.
Yes.
When it's made pretty weak.
When they make it so weak that it's not like fire in your throat.
It's more like candy.
And, you know, let's say I've had it so that like if you your throat it's more like candy um and you know let's say i i've
had it so that like if you sip like i don't know if you drink like 12 ounces of it you'd be good
and drunk but it's not one of those things where like you take two shots of it and like you're
you're drunk it's it's not that that kind of moonshine it's still homemade alcohol stuff we had
was it was strong people who could drink were getting drunk on it and you wouldn't know about
when you were a kid or uh no i was an adult i was camping and it was during my like off-roading
period so we would go off in the woods where we could drive our like rock crawlers and stuff
and um during the camping some people drank and i didn't drink, but they told me to try the Apple Moonshine,
like give it a go.
And then they warn you,
like this stuff,
like filled with alcohol,
just like fucking strong.
And it tastes like apple pie.
And you drink it,
and the alcohol was just hidden, hidden.
And if you're like me,
and you don't like alcoholic drinks whenever they
tell you the alcohol's hidden you're like i found it no no no you didn't hide it very well no yeah
i can tell it's here because it doesn't taste good exactly like if you ever have a jaeger bomb
or like you know like oh yeah i like those those are not the worst or um
schnapps right like oh schnapps it tastes like mint yes really fucking alcoholy alcoholics mint
of mint like it's it's the alcohol of mint it's all this moonshine like it for how strong it was
you would never know there was another another one. It was peach.
And some guy ate the peach.
And they're like, that's a lot.
And I'm like, it's like a peach amount, right?
This is what, like two shots?
It was a lot.
Yeah.
It was a lot.
And, like, I had a sip or, I don't know, I had a couple gulps or something.
And it was like, like wow that should get you
drunk like yeah get you
drunk and I could have drank
the whole mason jar I could have drank
it all I did
yeah it
tasted like apple pie
I'll see if I can get us a gallon for the
for the thing with wings because
I know a guy who makes it and
he makes it by the gallon it's gallon is like 80 bucks, I think.
I'll try it.
I usually don't like really sweet stuff.
You know it's rough when you get
that warning you're talking about. Be careful. It's really
alcoholic and it tastes good. You drink it
and you take a couple more drinks. That was good.
The first thing you notice of it is not the bite, but
just your stomach emanating
heat a minute and a
half later of just how strong
it is you're like oh shit like i'm in for a rude awakening in nine minutes yeah this stuff i've
got's not that strong i i would equate it to like um it's stronger than wine but it's not like liquor
the stuff i drank was magic like like like you know like dude i drank wine after my day in the
life because it got cut off and i tried it i wish it was on my day in the life because it got cut off and I tried it. I wish it was on the day of the life because if you watched me, you would have thought it was like straight alcohol.
I had a sip of wine and I'm like, oh, God.
Red wine or white?
Red.
That's worse, yeah.
I don't like red wine either.
It was rough.
I didn't like it.
So I drank wine and it was rough.
But I drank this stuff and it's like, ooh, it's sweet.
Like someone had, it was sweet tea for the first time.
Like, ooh, this is candy in a jar.
To me, it tastes like apple cider with cinnamon.
Like really good apple cider.
And it actually has sticks of cinnamon in the jug.
And then Taylor says his first observation was like his stomach was like emanating heat or something.
For me, I'm like, you know, like this is alcoholy?
Like you act like it's really strong and then my face is numb.
And I'm like, whoa.
Yeah, you're right.
You've done that on our drinking episodes before where you're like I don't know if I'm faking it but I feel like
my face feels different
that's the first thing that happens when he gets drunk
I remember when we were in Killington
that we were sitting downstairs on a couch
talking and bullshitting around and we were both drinking
and he was like
my face is numb
my face is a little numb here
that's a normal reaction to alcohol, right?
Like, is this one of the steps, Taylor?
You too?
I don't really get that, but I get that.
Yeah, no.
And I always wonder, like, because I feel like I could pull off sober a lot.
Like, you know, am I just letting the alcohol take over and, like, you know, playing it up?
Like, if I had to be sober right now
i could be sober but it's always like i guess i could you know like that's a razor's edge
that you're walking where you know you can pull off the like you're in control and then just a
little just a just tiny bit too much and you know not a chance i wonder i wonder if wing i know wings is kind of
against drinking but i wonder if he would drink that that tasty moonshine if if uh it was an
option or if he would or if he would not because i'm not sure if this thing is the live show right
he doesn't have to get out of control like i didn't put together you were talking about making
the live show a live drinking show it should should be a live drinking, live streaming bonanza.
Yeah.
Well, I don't know about live streaming.
Well, you're the tech guy, right?
It's not like I'm showing up with my cameras and being like, all right, everyone sit over here.
So whatever you think is best, I'll certainly help however I can.
I'll be a grip.
But I don't know the best way to record this thing.
I worry that if it was my house,
I'd feel a little more comfortable
in the live streaming thing.
It's Wings' house, right?
Didn't he have that static IP that gets
Oh, I was going to go to a hotel
and get that conference room.
Even so, now we're talking about
hotel internet. It's an environment that I don't own.
I won't see beforehand.
That's the challenge.
I'd be happy to come to your house.
It's just a question of that wasn't the original thing.
Now Wings has to travel to do a thing,
which is different.
Right.
And then...
I think Jackie's still mad at Wings.
I know Jackie's still mad at Wings.
So that doesn't work.
Maybe if... Yeah, so we need to do it there I know Jackie's still mad so like that doesn't work maybe if
yeah so we need to do it there
and probably record it with like
DSLR and
yeah I thought about how to do that like basically I need
like a black magic intensity
or
what is the competitor that everybody
gets answered by
what did you say? Elgato?
yes like an Elgato and then you could just
like it'd be an hdmi output like anything else like gaming or whatever just feed the hdmi into
the elgato into probably my mac and then you know split up the image with obs and record it and that
would work and then of course the audio i'm sure wings would be down to try that moonshine like
he doesn't have to get i don't know know, because see, here's the thing.
Wings has the history of alcoholism,
which I think turns him off to alcohol.
So I don't think his thing is...
It's either that or he's really against the taste of it.
I don't know.
You guys right now have me interested,
so I'm telling you.
The way you guys are having this,
I'm like, well, I would like to get drunk in three shots
not taste it
have it taste like apple pie that sounds great
yeah but you're a reasonable human being we're talking about
Wings of Redemption right now
oh yeah okay
yeah we'll see how that goes
there was a big push to get me on Wings'
podcast and I was like yeah I'll go
on and I would go on I'd absolutely do it
but I haven't had any
invites yeah i noticed that yeah yeah yeah for all the uh podcast him white boy and uh jive and a guy
named eddie the chump i have been invited to be on it and i wanted to be on i don't know if they'll
see this i wanted to be on it it's just so difficult for me to schedule these things and um
you guys have a tendency to just keep coming at me until i finally
relent i'm like you gotta get a chis on you but that's really what it comes down to that's all
the reason let's say like i'll do it uh i'll do total biscuits podcast whenever he asks because
i mean he's tb i'm just gonna do whatever he asks he's a great guy and uh and i'll be on here
whenever i can too not only do I like you guys,
but then, like you said, you got Chiz just literally
hammering me.
If I do the show, he'll
shut up for a few weeks.
Chiz will ask us, he's like, you guys want boogie?
I'm like, yeah, get boogie. He's like, alright, I'm going to get boogie.
He doesn't stop.
Plus, I will be honest with you.
Your audience is a great audience.
You guys, your fans are great.
Even the ones who don't like me are still super respectful.
They're like, oh, as long as he doesn't talk about the weight and stuff,
I'll see.
I see what you guys say, by the way.
I don't have a PR guy.
I have to see it all myself.
So I see the crazy shit you people say.
But even the worst comment that I'll find on the PKA subreddit
I was like oh it looks like I'll have to skip over 20 minutes
That's so nice
Your audience is actually really nice
I really like you guys
I agree they're great
They're the best
Kyle looks to the side and
He's hesitant
I love that kiss ass piece of of shit. I love them.
They're great. Fuck you, Taylor.
They treat
me top-notch,
so I have no reason to dislike them. And you should like
them too, Kyle. They treat both of us great.
Whatever. Yeah, it's a good audience.
I mean, it could be worth...
You know, they're nitpicky
about some stuff, and they're silly
when it comes to some stuff, and immature, and sometimes they just don't get it, if that makes any sense. But, for the most part, they're nitpicky about some stuff and they're silly when it comes to some stuff and immature.
And sometimes they just don't get it,
if that makes any sense.
But for the most part,
they're a very supportive,
caring audience
that really love the product that we're making.
And that's why they're so passionate.
Passion is the word for it,
I guess,
most of the time.
I try to keep it in perspective.
You know,
I get fussed at sometimes.
And when I do,
sometimes it's like the highest rated stuff.
But, you know like remember all the good stuff too you know that the bulk of this isn't about fussing
about me the the bulk of it is um is positive stuff or things they'd like to see or good ideas
um i just like yeah if there's a hate woody of audience size, there's going to be someone to say something crazy all the time.
And a lot of times the Woody hate isn't really so much that they hate who I am.
It's that there's an aspect they want fixed that they feel I'm responsible for.
And that's something that doesn't come to Kyle and Taylor.
They're just like, if Taylor's mic is bad, Woody has a problem.
If the topics aren't right, Woody has a problem. If the topics aren't right,
Woody has a problem.
Thank you for taking my side on that.
You know, if, if Kyle's internet connection makes him like pixelated,
Woody has a problem. And, and so sometimes the fussing that comes towards me isn't because they don't
like, like the essence of me.
It's because I'm in charge of things aside from what I say.
It's because they see you as the head honcho. Oh, at the end of the day though, you're talking about like the essence of me it's because i'm in charge of things aside from what i say because they see you as the head honcho oh at the end of the day though you're talking about like
like if that's your worst fan right if the guy who's just like really passionate about the product
and so he wants to see changes that he feels is positive or wants to see changes in your life
that's positive i will give you an example i have guy who posts on my subreddit all the time, and he can be very, very abrasive, but he's super passionate about not just the content that I
create, but me as a person. And there have been a couple of times where on other subreddits,
people have said something about me, and this person has had my back. And so like one time,
I called him out for being a dick
because based on one of the things he was saying on my subreddit and then three days later he's
just like rabidly defending me against some other people it's nice having fans like that it's scary
sometimes and and sometimes it can really throw you off and irritate you and be frustrating but
if you really think about it what a wonderful gift that is to have that someone's
that dedicated to you or your product.
As long as they're not showing up at my front door
knocking on our door, which has happened to us
by the way. As long as they're not
getting you swatted or sending you pizzas.
I had three pizzas yesterday.
Really? Yeah. None of them
were prepaid, so I didn't like that.
But yeah, three different pizza
delivery places. Did you keep any of
them no no and my at the time they were coming my wife was making pizza i'm like i'm gonna get
this random pizza while she's making it and uh one of them the name on the pizza was bob marley
and it came from an 800 number and uh i was like i'm sorry you know like this is this is the lay
of the land this is the people are playing a prank on us and this is that and he was like i'm sorry you know like this is this is the lay of the land this is the
people are playing a prank on us and this is that and he's like i should have known he shows me the
receipt it's like bob marley from an 800 number i'm like all right that's his problem yeah you
should have known maybe has it ever been a blessing in disguise when you got a pizza like god i'm so
busy i'm just so hungry and then the doorbell rings and they're like hey we have a pizza for
julius caesar and you're like oh thank god never that's never happened now i've had a lot of pizzas sent to me paid for
right like they send me pizzas even that like it's typically not the configuration that i wish i had
like it's a pepperoni pizza not the worst but it just wasn't what i'd have picked a lot of times
when i live stream it's right after dinner like i tend to go live at like 8 p.m. ish or 7 or 9 or whatever.
I'm not feeling like a second dinner.
And then here comes the pizza at the door.
It's prepaid.
I feel obligated to have like a slice or two because the stream sent it to my house.
And they think they gave me a gift when in reality –
Yeah, they gave you carbs.
Pizza delivered right after dinner is not a gift that you want.
Yeah, they should send you breadsticks or dessert or something.
That'd be cool.
Ooh, ice cream.
I have a question.
How much do you tip, or do you not tip at all,
if it's a prank delivery and you're not paying for the pizza?
Because I gave the guy five bucks just for driving out there.
And then told him, I don't know, are you supposed to tip in a prank situation?
No.
No, you're supposed to tip when they go above and beyond the call of duty for you
under a normal circumstance.
That's it.
Wait, do you tip?
So you don't tip as a standard?
That's delivery.
They see that delivery is different.
Yeah, that's what I meant as delivery
but I didn't order that delivery
so someone else owes him a tip, not me
okay, that makes sense
I feel like if UPS brought a package
to my house that wasn't for me
no, he's not getting anything either
we gave him five bucks for him
and then called the place and couldn't talk to his manager
and told him what was happening
and then I found out that you can do this.
You can just call all the pizza places in your area and then tell them, please put on my account to this address.
No deliveries that are not prepaid.
And now they just then they just don't deliver anything.
I did that.
And it still didn't work.
It didn't work.
No dice.
And I'm hoping definitely on them yeah yeah and uh i didn't tip the pizza guy i feel i guess a little bad about it now but i also feel
like if i made a habit of tipping the pizza guy well shit make a habit of bringing those shit
pizzas to you now yeah now he's gonna learn he's like yeah when i bug hit me but that'd be the new
prank get woody to tip random people.
Send a taxi out.
Woody will give him money.
Send a pizza guy over.
Send a Chinese food guy over.
Uber drivers showing up all day.
What'd you say?
Uber drivers.
Uber drivers, yeah, yeah.
I don't know.
In my head, they intend to play a prank on me, and I've said this so many times,
but they're really playing a prank on some small business owner who's financed all this shit yeah at least
with you woody like it seems like you know if the stream's doing it and they prepay it that they have
like a good intent in mind at least some of them do with boogie like because you're working on
losing weight right now that's almost mean mean to send you a bunch of pizza.
It's like sending a barrel of Robitussin to a meth head.
Like, sign for this.
That's almost mean.
I didn't know that was a thing.
Robitussin is a meth thing?
I believe Robitussin is how you make cheap shit meth.
Is that not correct?
I don't know.
I never heard of that.
Well, remember Walter had this special way of using the...
What was that chemical that they were always having to go after?
The methylene?
Methylamine.
Methylamine.
Yeah, he used methylamine instead of the pseudofed,
the pseudofedrin that comes in certain cough syrups
and cough cold medicines, I guess.
I think I got that right.
You weren't thinking of pseudafed, were you, Taylor?
Oh, Sudafed. Yep, you're right.
Okay.
I don't know.
Probably Sudafed.
Although you can make some drugs with cough syrup, too.
Lean.
That's when I picked Lil Wayne
as my celebrity under 40
that I think will die next because he used to have
a real lean problem and I remember he was
having seizures because of it because he was doing so much
of it and then he got clean
but then I recently read that he's back on the lean
again so
that's a very dangerous thing to get involved in
yeah
doing lean, wearing hoodies, you never know
what could happen
I don't understand what lean is, Skittles and Robitussin
am I missing any ingredients?
Some kind of
flavored fruit drink, usually.
I don't know anything about any bootleg drugs like that.
Yeah, I don't
do poor people drugs, Woody.
I mean, that's really gotta be what it is, right?
They're mixing soda and
cough medicine.
Can you get a real drug? Somewhere out there in the middle of Kansas, that's really gotta be what it is, right? Like, they're mixing soda and, like, cough medicine.
Like, can't you get a real drug?
Yeah.
Somewhere out there in the middle of Kansas, there's just a trailblazer just mixing and matching, just trying to find the next crystal meth.
I hear about people eating, like, random shrooms they found and then having these dreams, and
then having hallucinations about, like, spiders crawling out of their ears and all over their
body and shit.
And it's like, yeah, you ate a mushroom you found in some pig shit, bro.
What'd you expect? Like, like no don't do that that can happen with like
over-the-counter stuff with uh god when i was like i think probably like 19 or 20 i had a horrible
stomach flu and i would like wake myself up retching like just i couldn't get any sleep
and so i took like the recommended about of nyquil or one of those sleep aids didn't do shit took another one didn't do
shit was still waking myself up retching took like another one and like i woke up in the morning it
didn't feel like i existed or that i was real and like i kept like opening my eyes and seeing like
little dancing lines in the corners of my vision and thinking that i like saw things like skittering
uh it was awful like that's what does that sound fun ambient messes you up like that too they call it
the walrus have you heard that term before so i don't know what the walrus is but i i can describe
my uh experience on ambient um so i took the ambient and i fell asleep but then i woke up like
an hour two hours later and I had to piss
super bad. That's totally what woke me up. Luckily I didn't piss myself. Um, but, but I, I get woken
from this deep, deep Ambien sleep by having to piss. And I start walking, you know, leaving my
bedroom, heading toward the bathroom. And at the time I was sleeping downstairs. So I got to go up
a flight of stairs to get to the bathroom. And it was like was really drunk i was stumbling around um i was
everything felt thick and foggy like it felt like i'd had it felt like it had seven or eight beers
and uh and i did not like that i could definitely couldn't have driven a car yeah i was messed up
i've never had a sleep aid before aside from like mel uh man yeah melatonin like from turkey or whatever
it's really effective and i could see how i guess it's not non-habit forming but i could see where
like maybe you're not chemically dependent but you're maybe like just physically just dependent
on it to you know go about your life like that that's what makes your life work that's how you're
able to get up for work that's how you're able to end your day because man when you take it you're ready for some sleep if you
ignore it though i'm told you go into a really scary like trippy kind of so basically it puts
you on a clock of you've got 20 minutes to fall asleep or you'll be horrified for six hours and
you're like all right okay gotta get to bed like Yeah, it's either a sleep aid or a weird kind of trippy drug, I suppose.
Yeah, I don't understand fucking around with stuff like that.
If anything, those drugs...
Two Ambien's? How many are you supposed to take?
I think, I don't know how many you're supposed to take, but my girlfriend takes one, and I was like, well, give me two.
I'm gonna take two.
One would make me really sleepy, but two would knock me the fuck out and that's what i was going
for how long do you sleep like 10 hours a normal amount of time like eight nine hours and you feel
really rested when it's over i like it a lot like it's i mean do you need to prescribe that yeah i
don't know if there's any negative side effects or anything, but I've had all good experiences from it.
But, you know, same thing with the Adderall.
Like, you know, I don't take it regularly.
I take it when I need a little help.
Yeah, or you can take both at the same time.
Have, like, an internal Clash of the Titans.
Do you fall asleep? Do you stay awake?
Yeah, take two Ambien and two Adderall.
That would be...
Yeah, and then's telling to send an
ambulance on the way and you'll be waiting outside like yeah the damn heart attack shit yourself
yeah i have a topic are you guys ready yes yeah let's hear all right this was suggested by the pka
subreddit and you have to like um pay attention it's a story and we're gonna rank the characters from worst
person in the story to best i did it in my live stream a little bit too so the thousand of you
that saw this already sorry are you ready yes abigail loves tom and tom lives on the other
side of the river a flood has destroyed all the bridges across the river and has left only one So, rehashing, because there's a lot here.
Abigail and Tom, separated by a river and flood.
Sinbad says, you can use my boat, but you gotta fuck me.
Abigail doesn't know what to do and runs to her mother to ask for advice.
Her mother tells Abigail that she doesn't want to interfere with Abigail's business.
In her desperation, Abigail sleeps with Sinbad, who afterward brings her across the river.
Abigail runs to Tom, the boyfriend,
to happily embrace him and tell him everything that's happened.
Tom pushes her away strongly, and Abigail runs away.
So, again, recap.
Abigail fucks her way across the river.
Sinbad, the recipient of that with the boat.
Mom gives no advice whatsoever.
And when she finally meets her boyfriend,
he pushes her away and sort of,
you know, pushes her away strongly.
Not far from Tom's house,
Abigail meets John,
Tom's best friend,
the boyfriend's best friend.
She tells her everything that's happened to him as well.
John punches Tom, the boyfriend,
for what he's done to Abigail
and walks away with her. So, to recap, Abigail fucks Sinbad to get across the
river to see her boyfriend. Boyfriend... Is this a riddle? No, we're going to rank the people
from worst person to best person. To recap...
Oh, here, let me give you the thing so you can see it too.
Abakale sleeps away across the river.
Her mom gives her no advice.
When she finally sees the boyfriend, he pushes her away.
So she walks away with the boyfriend's best friend.
Ranking the people in this story, who's the worst person and who's the best person sinbad's number one is the worst is the worst the best person is tom because to his knowledge all that happened to him
is he wanted to be with his girlfriend she cheated on him and then tried to play it off like nothing
happened yep yep i agree really i thought tom was among the worst people because here's my pitch for it
tom is is oh wait you said tom which one's the original boyfriend tom yeah all right i said it
i heard i was thinking john is among the worst people i messed it up so john's the best friend
john knows the scoop here that i can't figure out if Abigail was terrible or not.
Right?
Abigail was stupid.
Yeah, Abigail's stupid, but not a terrible person.
She loves her boyfriend.
I don't think she wanted to cheat.
I feel like she was like...
Is there one guy with a boat?
Yes.
One boat guy, and it's Sinbad.
It specifically says that. It says there's only a boat? Yes. One boat guy, and it's Sinbad. It specifically says that.
It says there's only one boat left floating.
Oh, you have to hit your cameras.
It'll come back shortly.
Yeah, so I definitely put Abigail as the second nicest person, if that makes sense.
So the person who's done the least wrong is definitely Tom
and then I think his girlfriend
did the second
amount of wrong things
if that makes sense
Sinbad is definitely the worst person
I think that John
is second worst person
because he hit his friend and took his girlfriend
like that's bullshit John is among the worst who did you say was the very worst? Sinbad? second worst person because he hit his friend and took his girlfriend like yeah i agree bullshit
john is among the worst who'd you say was the very worst sinbad sinbad is the worst um he's he's you
know because of the implication that's me because of the implication see i'm not sure sinbad's so
awful because sinbad is a raper um well we covered this earlier in the show he was really just he says yeah i'll
do it for you he didn't rape her he just wanted sex for payment he's really taking advantage of
he coerced her that's what adele's manager did he i i feel like i'll catch her thank you keshia
i i feel like um like there should be a new term coined for it like sexual coercion or sexual
i don't know use of power or something like that abuse of power yeah yeah so yeah her mom though
her mom um did more wrong than she did maybe her mom it's easy for me to say that the girl is
stupid and blame it on that because that's what it just seems like based on the information we
have we don't have enough we don't have very much information about the mom i would say the mom is stupid but i feel like she should know by now
like what's up she should be she should know like what how mal she she should know something about
men right as a as presumably 30 or 40 year old woman um so she should have known to tell abigail
uh no don't sleep around on your boyfriend he won't he won't like that at all he'll see you
and then push you away maybe back i I pictured Abigail to be an adult.
Like, at least a young adult.
Picture 21 or something.
I'm thinking star-crossed.
This is like a Romeo and Juliet thing.
They're like 17 in my head
because, you know,
they haven't mastered getting across rivers yet.
What year is this?
Is there no bridge nearby?
What year is it?
It literally says it destroyed all the bridges.
How about you both just find someone on your side of the river?
All right.
So I have a hard time with a few of these.
I don't know how bad Abigail is, right?
If hypothetically I had to sleep with some woman in an effort to save my children from drowning,
I don't know how this could play out,
then I don't think that makes me a normal cheater.
That makes me whatever.
Makes you a father, yeah.
Right?
What if you slept with a woman so that you could get to Jackie sooner?
Because that's what we're talking about here.
That's so counterintuitive. it doesn't even make sense.
Exactly.
Jackie's back in Jersey with family.
All the bridges get destroyed except for one, right?
You know, this makes sense.
And then this guy named Sinbad,
you know, the comedian, he comes up
and he offers you a way to get to your wife,
but you have to blow Sinbad.
And, you know, of course you don't blow Sinbad because we'll figure a way across the bridge into Jersey at some point.
And Rob Thomas, watch.
Rob Thomas, watch.
Rob Thomas is my bitch.
It's a great, sunny episode.
Who's the worst?
Who's the worst one?
Sinbad.
Sinbad's the worst one.
I think you could make an argument for john
i think you'd say john knew the scoop he knew abigail's she's wounded she's wounded emotionally
she's not a normal cheater john takes advantage of the situation hits tom and steals tom's girl
no i the reason i think john is a good guy is because, all right, so if we're being honest here,
the fact that destroyed bridges prevents two people from getting together indicates that this is olden times.
So the fact that she has fucked Sinbad probably means that it's going to be hard for her to find a new boyfriend,
especially since Tom has already rejected her.
So Jon is really swooping in, like, you know, in Game of Thrones when there's, like, a maid.
You're really adding a lot to
This story that I don't think no no let him continue. It's not up for interpretation
We're in a place where a bridge being destroyed means you can't get to your your boyfriend across it
And there's a guy named Sinbad with a boat who'll fuck you for passage
But I'm making a big leap to say that this is olden times like yeah
This is like a Bible passage. You can read into whatever you want.
I'm imagining there are so few people in existence,
kind of like Cain and Abel times,
just post-Garden of Eden,
that, yeah, she needs to get over there and get to Tom
or whatever the fuck his name is
because there aren't many Toms around.
But, yeah, I'm going to say that John saw that
here's a woman who's had her chastity taken from her in this terrible way.
She was trying to go for true love, and she was tricked by this sin-bad guy into fucking him.
Maybe he promised her that, oh, yeah, I'll get to your boyfriend, and you'll live happily ever after.
She didn't have a support structure.
And here's this John guy saying – taking pity on her and know, I'll make you a, what do they say?
An honest woman.
An honest woman, yeah.
That's what John's doing.
Boogie, did you tune out?
I feel like you're doing your homework over there.
Because I can't do fucking, I can't follow puzzles like this.
But how about this?
All men are assholes.
All women are whores.
Fuck them all.
Yes.
So everyone's on the bottom of your list.
Can we restart the call?
I'm not getting Taylor and Kyle back.
Yeah, sure.
All right.
Here we go.
Hello.
I hope this works out better.
All right.
Kyle, did you answer with your mic thing?
Oh, Kyle's not picked up yet.
I'm done now.
There we go.
Alright, so this won't be too much longer.
There! That worked out well.
We just need Chiz to disappear and...
Yeah, I don't...
That was a confusing problem,
and I'm trying to look into it for a point,
and I can't find it into it for a point,
and I can't find it.
No parable there.
Like, if your girlfriend or wife fucks someone to get across the river to you,
you know the old adage,
look out for John.
I feel like...
All right, so I guess this topic flopped.
No, no, I'm trying to look for meaning.
I have a hard time stack ranking who's the most terrible in here.
You know, you get a mother who just doesn't mother.
You get a best friend who steals the girl.
You get John who doesn't understand the position that Abigail was in.
Sinbad, who really just made a contract that, Sinbad is like a modern pharmaceutical
company, right? So hear me out on this. If you need a life-saving drug, right, you will do
anything to get that life-saving drug. It, it, the cost doesn't matter.
You'll mortgage your house. You'll like finance your future. You'll be in debt for the rest of
your life. Chemo is insanely expensive because you have no choice. You buy the chemo or you die.
It's crazy expensive. So Abigail here was willing to pay any price to sinbad the pharmaceutical
company because she had no choice the price she was willing to pay was sleeping with sinbad
what else was she gonna do to her wait wait because tom was over there working away at his
job to earn enough money to pay Sinbad.
And Sinbad had already taken Tom's money,
and then he fucked Abigail and he got both.
Now you're making stuff up.
Yeah, well, I mean, if I were writing a story, that's what would happen.
Yeah, yeah.
So I don't know. I feel like Abigail's there dealing with the pharmaceutical company
and what's she going to do but pay the price
because why would she live on without her boyfriend i
Don't know man she could have she could have done something different
Which crossing rivers is difficult like maybe she could have got a seat
Oh, you couldn't you couldn't make this like of like all right she separated from her boyfriend for some unsolvable problem except for the
Delta Airlines. Okay.
What if she was on the wrong continent?
What if Pangea became modern earth and now the one guy with the plane
charged,
you know,
sex to get across from continent to continent.
That seems like a pretty good deal.
That's not just a river,
you know?
Yeah.
That's,
that's a lot more value. a lot more bang for your buck.
I'm declaring you fuckers no fun, all three of you.
No fun.
All three of you.
Yeah, not one of you.
I stacked ranked mine.
Yeah, I had it.
I did as well.
Sinbad's the worst.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, it's really just Sinbad is the worst, and the best is the guy who gets cheated on
and then punched, and everybody else just kind of floats in the middle.
New topic. This time Taylor comes up with it. Go. All right. who gets cheated on and then punched and everybody else just kind of floats in the middle new topic
this time taylor comes up with it go all right i'm gonna have a lot of recaps um so joshua joshua
has a girlfriend named sarah and sarah lives in the other side of the castle yeah and now i don't
want to go through a whole lot of recaps yeah don't worry if you don't get it the first time
no i've actually got a flow chart over here let me go get that
oh i'm surprised we haven't talked about sanders yet
oh with him tying uh or i guess we should only do that briefly
because we did most of that on PKN
yeah I don't care anymore to be honest
like do any of us care we all know it's going to be Hitler
excuse me Hillary
see how that happened
I swear to god that was an accident
that's just how it came out
we all know it's going to be Hillary
I just feel like we see Sanders
already slipping he's already lost 7 points since we saw the results in Iowa.
But gained a lot of money.
Sure, but not nearly as much as Hillary.
I bet Hillary outgained him.
His average donor, I think, is $30, something in there.
And he's got so, so many of them.
But I see it pointed out on his subreddit a lot
that Hillary just got one donation
that equaled like 300,000 of his donations.
Like, he can't outspend her.
Her war chest is bigger.
She's got the party behind her.
It's going to be her.
So I'm done even being silly about the Sanders guy
because, I mean, I'll sit and watch.
It could still happen.
But it's that 15%
outside chance, the same as it is for
anybody who's a dark horse candidate
like that. He might as well
be a third party guy.
I just don't see him pulling that many
conservatives over to his side to
win a primary election.
Trump falling behind surprised me a bit. I guess not appearing in that election maybe made him look weak. conservatives over to over to his side to to get the to win in a primary election um trump falling
behind uh surprised me a bit i guess not appearing in that election maybe made him look weak maybe
the iowa voters take that stuff very seriously um um so we'll see how trump fares in new hampshire
i think that'll be telling it's interesting and then south carolina is big too i feel like too
that we i want to see what they do in the South because the South matters. Is it any surprise that I'm all about feeling that burn right now?
Is that a big surprise?
Well, you're from Arkansas.
I wasn't sure.
Yeah, I mean, a lot of people in Arkansas, obviously.
I mean, Clinton might have a chance in hell, but this is definitely a red state.
So I definitely see whoever the Republican candidate being is winning.
But, man, I got to say, Bernie Sanders says a lot of the things that Jimmy Carter said. definitely a red state so i definitely see whoever the republican candidate being is winning but man
i gotta say bernie sanders says a lot of the things that jimmy carter said um and jimmy carter
said a lot of the same things that roosevelt said uh he's got a fairly good platform and the platform
of it's going to cost me specifically money to pay for it but um he just really, like, calling what he wants socialism is not really fair.
It's just him wanting to get us caught up with the rest of the first world countries.
That's a self-ascribed, like, label that he gives himself, though.
Right, I'm just saying that it's almost unfair because he's almost wrong
because it's just what every other first world country now benefits from.
We're behind so far you know it's
like if we didn't have roads and this guy's platform is let's build roads well he's on
running a platform of let's get health care let's have an education that's pretty basic shit now
so let's do that you know yeah we we've we've beaten this horse to death and into a pulp at this point.
It's putrid.
It's smelly.
It's all over us.
But we all agree that Sanders is the most honest and genuine and trustworthy candidate, you know, just add a synonym.
How do you like your topic now, Taylor?
We've beaten it to dead into a bloody, stinky pulp.
It's still going, and there were no riddles,
no stack ranking of Abigail and Steve.
It's a secret purple pulp.
It's infectious.
I'm so sick and tired of political talk.
And this isn't a shot at either of you or anyone who brings it up.
It's a shot at Taylor.
It is a topical thing.
Thank you, Woody.
But yeah,
fuck that. I just don't care anymore.
I don't care who wins. I want it to be Trump because it's
entertaining, and that's just the truth.
I want it to be Trump because it's entertaining.
It's not entertaining at all.
He's simple, obvious comedy. He's an SNL
skit. It's not even
funny. It's low-hanging fruit.
First of all, SNL skits are funny
a lot of the time. Second of all, if you had an SNL skit for your commander-in-chief,
it would be fucking hilarious.
We're not talking about, let's turn on YouTube and watch an SNL skit.
We're talking about, oh shit, it's time for a presidential address
with President Donald J. Trump outside of Trump Towers.
Yeah, he's in his chopper right now doing a presidential address
because he's a fucking asshole.
He's such a buffoon such a such an asshole i want to see him i want to see him as president i think it'd be great it would be more entertaining for me and i agree with you because
of that he's been i really don't think he'd get anything done anyway he's been a candidate for
what six or eight months now has it been funny yet like i don't remember any funny stuff i haven't
it's been funny to me the The Rosio comments were hysterical.
He called Megyn Kelly a...
What's the B word?
Bimbo.
Bimbo.
Called her a bimbo last week.
That's funny.
Like, that's not...
Yes.
No.
It's outrageous.
I'll give you outrageous maybe a little bit.
I get that they called him a carnival barker or something like that.
But this isn't funny.
This isn't, this isn't like
on the level of things that are funny it's just when normally presidential electric elections on
a scale of one to ten are ones and this is like two ish bullshit no this is 100 they're like a
hey i will i will say i will say something like it's crazy i will say something something. Number one, there has been an election like this.
We had a celebrity run.
It was Ronald Reagan, and it was fucking weird then,
and it's fucking weird now when you've got Trump doing it.
Secondly, when you really look at Trump's plan, it's not that crazy.
The financial plan is not complete lunacy.
Like everything he says is lunacy,
but the people who built this financial plan is not complete lunacy. Like, everything he says is lunacy, but the people who built this financial plan
is almost reasonable.
You know, I mean, we don't really have one from Clinton,
and Bernie Sanders' plan will work,
even though it's going to cost some higher-class citizens money.
$1,000,000,000.
Well, it really comes down to, like, if you look at,
Medicaid for All will actually save most people money, an average of $2,100 per home over their current health care premiums.
And the people who can't afford health care will have the option of just paying their minimum tax and then getting health care.
And that's going to really help those people.
They won't pay penalties under Obamacare.
under Obamacare.
But the fact that Trump does want to force people to keep their money in America,
I like that.
That's the one thing I like about what he wants to do.
And it would work if he did that.
If he made those jobs come home somehow,
that would actually be awesome.
Yeah.
He'd end up being a great president.
I like that he's keeping the Muslims out
that's a big one for me
that's a big deal
the big thing is just more white people
you know
see Taylor's
funnier than Trump is
and that's my problem at the end of the day
I can't abide by racists
like I mean everybody's a little bit racist
right everybody's a little sexist
everybody prefers their religion over anybody else's religion because obviously their religion
is the correct one but that said like at least most of us have the decency not to say that in
front of the entire goddamn country not on pka what am i looking at Is that a pot? What is that?
Pancake.
A marijuana pancake.
It's a regular pancake.
Yeah, I know you.
You eat regular sized foods in that portion size.
Yes, I would like one single Silva dollar pancake, please.
These are big pancakes pancakes it's not small
these are delicious
well I think that's a show right there
could I
I had one more topic
I don't know
I just had it stacked up
we won't be able to use it
it's kind of tied into the Fine Brothers thing
I have it here at a time stamp
so get to 132 it should take you right there is at least the... It's kind of tied into the Fine Brothers thing. I have it here at a timestamp.
So get to 1.32.
It should take you right there.
And we'll watch for a minute.
Oh, let me put this on the... Behind the scenes of my life sucks.
Yeah.
The premise of the whole video
is how a couple bad things happen to him
and he's just going to persevere and keep going.
But he talks about one of the bad things and it's relevant.
Are you guys ready?
Yeah.
All right.
If you're at 132, ready, set, play.
Now, this week was super important to us because it is our best video,
the best of Dead in a Supertrap.
It represents our entire year of working non-stop with our entire crew.
So we are so excited about this video and the reason why this video is so important
because it represents our experiences with you, our fans, it represents all our hard
work but we also use that video to get all the jobs for the rest of the year.
Basically we'll reach out to different companies or they'll see those videos,
they'll say because of this video
we wanna hire you to do more videos
so it represents our work.
It's a demo reel is what they say in the biz,
in the film industry if you will.
So our company, Dennis Supertramp,
it consists of a lot of people.
A lot of people being six or seven people
which to me is a lot of people
because I originally started off by myself.
But with that being said is most of the people on our team,
people like Carter, Tyson, they have families.
Carter has a baby, he has another baby on the way,
adorable baby.
So they all have families and we use our YouTube business,
Devon Supertramp, creating cool films
that we get out for free,
but we've used that to basically make it
so we can provide for our own families.
So that's why this video is so important to us our best of
videos because that's how we get our income for the rest of the year now so
we put a lot of time a lot of energy into this video and when we release the
video two days later and just for the record these videos are always some of
our highest performing videos because it represents everything that we do.
Two days later after releasing our video, it was already one of the most liked videos
we've ever done as far as within a time frame.
Within two days it had 28,000 likes and it had over 400,000 views.
And then we go on and we basically sent out an email to everyone we worked with for the
year saying this is what we did last year.
And then all of a sudden we started getting really cool business opportunities. Now we sent that email
out on I think it was Wednesday and then we get onto YouTube in the morning and the YouTube video
that we created and spent the entire year creating was gone. Just like that. Absolutely no warning
whatsoever. It was just gone.
And we had no idea where it went.
We went on to our YouTube video, like kind of through the feed.
And on our feed, it was just basically our thumbnail.
It was just a blank picture.
And the title wasn't even there.
We couldn't even click on it or edit it to figure out what was going on.
So we checked our email, and we still didn't know what was going on.
And then our MCN, our Multi-channel network is what that stands for. They're basically a company that represents you within the YouTube space and other spaces as well down and we didn't even know that this was even out there.
But they had the power to take it down because they trademarked a phrase, the phrase, people
are awesome.
They made it so they could copyright and own that phrase so whenever anyone uploaded anything
that had that in there, they could instantly take it down, no questions asked, they wouldn't even give us a chance to basically defend ourselves. And just like that, it was all gone. And so we contacted them and Fullscreen copyright phrases, people are awesome. And it was another company, the company that owns that trademark, Dukin,
they were the ones that came after us right away once we released that video
because on the title of our video, it was titled,
People Are Awesome, Devin Supertramp Edition 2015.
So that's exactly what our video represented, is amazing people doing awesome things.
So they trademarked that, I guess a little bit earlier in the year maybe was a year
before that they just trademarked that though and so anyone that uploads
anything with that in the title they have the right to instantly take down
your video and they said it was destroying their brand or having some
effect like that so how that does that I't know, but they had the power to do that.
So we're like, well, let's fight this.
So we were able to contact Jukin and what we were told is that if you use the word in your video, people, or
awesome, we can take it down because it's too similar to our copyrighted phrase already.
Because their goal is to build something else outside of that.
So it was super frustrating for us when we're building our entire career out of this.
We're supporting our families with this.
And then someone just like that without any warning can take down our video, not stoked
on it.
And actually, there's very few things that make me legitimately mad.
The reason I didn't do this video right when it happened is because I wasn't happy about
it at all.
I already said pause.
So I've watched this whole thing and I can tell you that he calls them and says,
can we change the name?
From People Are Awesome to Aren't People Awesome, they say no.
He's like, well, can we change the name entirely to Devin Super Tramp?
Amazing people?
Devin Super Tramp 2015.
And they said no to that like they flat out made him like
take down and re-upload the video which is a bummer because videos uh I'm not an expert on
the YouTube algorithm but they have a certain momentum you know like if you download and
re-upload a video I've had to do that for pka it loses like the the seo that it would have had.
It's much better to have a video with a million views than two videos with half a million views
because a million-view video is likely to get recommended
and sort of have a better long tail and things go better that way.
In the extreme, I'd way better have a video with a million views
than 10 with 100,000
because those 100,000 ones are going to be getting like a hundred
views a month and just sort of fade away.
So they made him take down his video and re-upload it.
And that's a thing.
It was very similar.
I thought to what the fine brothers were trying to achieve, you know,
with the react thing and they would have to take down all that stuff.
Yeah.
That's shitty.
That's shitty.
Yeah, let me just go ahead and say,
I mentioned these guys in my Fine Brothers wrap-up video,
and fuck these guys.
There's no other way really to put it.
Trademarking a common phrase is really messed up.
People are awesome is a phrase that you can easily use
in the English language.
Trademarking something like Coca-Cola,ola pepsi cola uh even pka right like whatever trademark
woody's gamer tag nobody's walking around saying hey woody's gamer tag 300 times a day 500 that's
anybody that trademarks a common phrase like that you are trademark troll. You're acting like a piece of shit.
Stop.
I think that's basically it.
You're old enough to remember phone books.
What if I trademark let your fingers do the walking?
Okay, that is not a common phrase.
That is a phrase that they created.
So that's the thing.
If I create a phrase called put your fingers in the poop chute,
and then I make that synonymous with my brand,
put your fingers in the poop chute. Not a lot that synonymous with my brand put your fingers in the poop chute not a lot of people are saying that that's not a common phrase
putting professional russian right put a fingers in the poop right perfect right i trade work that
create a phrase trade market first then market it make it common right that's the way you do that
but don't take a phrase such as jerking off. That's a phrase that everybody uses.
Don't try to create the jerking off brand of jerk off devices.
That's a terrible decision.
You will probably not get the trademark.
If you do, people will hate you when you abuse it, when you use it.
That's what happened to the Fine Brothers.
That's what's happening to the People Are Awesome guys.
That's what will happen to you forever if you ever do that
you know
that's why Google
asks creators
of content to not call it
Googling in a TV show
and they will enforce that trademark occasionally
and the reason being is because right now
Google means the company
but if you
use it enough to mean searching,
eventually it becomes synonymous with searching,
and their trademark becomes invaluable,
or not valuable anymore,
and they lose it because they can no longer enforce it.
That's what happened to Xerox.
That's what happened to, I think there's like an example
of five or six other companies that have had,
Escalator is another one.
Everything is an escalator now.
Everything that lifts you up,
but yes, stairs is an escalator.
That was a brand name.
Yeah, Xerox became synonymous with copying.
Right.
And so, I mean, that's how you...
That's the way that you're supposed to enforce your trademark, right?
But not keeping YouTubers from mentioning
or reviewing your products
or taking a chunk of what you create
via Nintendo's program.
To play devil's advocate, and I love Devin Supertrant, but don't you think that he named
it People Are Awesome in an effort to sort of get SEO associated with somebody else's
brand?
Do you think that he just stumbled upon, like didn't know?
People Are Awesome, everyone kind of knows what that is right compilations of whatever um he was putting
it in a compilation of his own work but felt like it was in the people are awesome genre and it is
it's very close to the kind of video people people are awesome use devin supertramp stuff
if i was i just thought of that.
Devin should have copyright the fuck out of them.
They've used my stuff.
Have they?
Yeah.
I feel like you could start attacking them,
you know,
taking down their videos left and right,
um,
until they let you back up.
But,
um,
uh,
anyway,
but you know what Devin did was he,
he saw that people are awesome was a category of videos that did really well and then wanted to be in that category.
Yeah, if I'm being honest, I mean, he's a YouTuber, right?
Yeah.
I know what people are awesome at.
Very good one.
I just mean that he knows what's going on.
He was familiar with People Are Awesome prior to this.
So yeah, if I'm being honest,
I would say it's very likely that he was trying to take advantage of some of that SEO.
And it looks like it bit him in the ass big time.
If I were him, I would have taken such a big gamble with such an important video.
That's how I honestly look at it.
But I like Devin Super Tram and his videos.
And if I'm being 100% honest, I'm like, well, did this really damage the People Are Awesome brand?
Maybe not, but I feel like he was definitely going to profit through some sort of confusion there.
So I could see their side of things as well.
Yeah.
On Devin's defense, I've gone all over the place.
I, too, would have not recognized
the risk you know in hindsight maybe now i will maybe now the next time i i can't think of another
like people are awesome or react like series um if i if if um if i wanted to call something epic
rack battles and it was like me and wings then my eyes are open now
that that's probably something that that could get if you started a channel called actually epic
grilled grill time and you got me a bottle of jack in my big ass propane grill like harley's
gonna be pushing some buttons over there yeah yeah like what would you do if somebody started a channel called FPS Somalia and every episode was an AK-47?
I made a parody of Epic Meal Time called Francis Meal Time,
and it's my understanding that Harley saw it and thought it was hilarious.
So that's exciting.
He likes all those.
Yeah, like parody is fine, you know,
and parody is protected by the law, which is even better.
And if you make Francis,
or if you make Epic Grill Time,
and it's a grilling series,
it really will come down to
how much of your format they steal
and how much it,
if you design it to look like their show
and as confusable by their show,
then they have a legal standing,
unless it's parody.
Then it's designed to look like their show,
but be outlandish and lampooning,
and then they don't have a legal standing.
If it's your own thing,
and the name is just similar,
you could probably get away with that for girl time.
You would probably win that court case.
People are awesome, though.
But the nature of what Devin Supertramp does
is like a compilation of Devin Supertramp videos is like a compilation of People Are Awesome.
They're just very similar.
He could have said People Are Amazing, but he said People Are Awesome.
I will say that it may be possible that he made a mistake.
And I've never heard of People Are Awesome until this.
Oh, you didn't?
No, I'd never heard of them are awesome until this but this is what you didn't no i never heard yeah i didn't heard them until this call i bet they have several videos with 10 to 25 million i straight up called
them evil in a video today so yeah i just i mean i bet most videos with 10 or 25 million views
you've run across i bet they've got a couple in that class uh but i didn't pay any attention to
the brand if i saw that video i'd never paid attention to the brand. If I saw that video, I'd never have paid attention to people who are awesome or recognize it as a brand.
I just thought it was a common phrase, such as I react, reacting to thing.
I didn't know that was a phrase anybody was going to attempt to trademark.
That's crazy.
It's just a thing people do.
People are awesome.
Yes, they are.
That's just a fact to me.
That's not a brand.
Google is a brand.
That's trademarking.
Google had a previous definition, right?
But it was an unused definition.
What was the previous definition of Google?
It's a large number.
It's 100 zeros.
A Googler, you're thinking of.
I think it's just a Google, right?
I think it's just a Google.
I don't think so.
Let me check.
Let's see if I can define Google.
We have three against one here, thinking Google is a large number.
Although the accountant is saying Google.
He does know his numbers, although he doesn't know how many commas they have.
It's spelled G-O-O-G-O-L.
Google.
A Google is 10 to the 100th power.
Somewhere in the middle.
It's spelled differently.
Shit.
Why did I?
I knew the word Googler,
at least I thought I did,
before the company.
And now I'm doubting myself.
I think it's G-O-O-G-O-L.
That sounds right.
Right?
Like that's the number.
I'm on the Wikipedia.
Yeah.
Oh, Googleplex is the number 10 to the power of Google.
Gotcha.
What the fuck are these people doing with their lives, these mathematicians?
Get over it.
You're just inventing bigger numbers.
Oh, what's 10 to the power of a Googleplex, huh?
Ooh, Google, Google, Googleplex.
Google, Google.
Right, you're on the Wikipedia page.
G-O-O-G-A-L-A. Google Google Googleplex. Google Google. Right, you're on the Wikipedia page. You're welcome.
G-O-O-G-A-L-A.
I thought that was it, and now I can't find anything about it.
Maybe I was wrong.
Long story short, let me say that this is a fascinating time to be a YouTuber,
and if you're interested in what we deal with on a daily basis,
it's a fascinating time because it's about to get real shitty.
Because you are now finally seeing the corporatization of YouTube.
And we've been seeing it in the last year
as your Jimmy Fallons and your Jimmy Kimmel's
and your Ellen shows move into the territory, right?
And then you see smaller YouTubers,
your PewDiePies and your Markipliers creating their shows,
and then YouTube Red creating shows behind that paywall.
And then you see big organizations like Buzzfeed spamming the out of youtube and so
those guys are on that corporate level too then you have the people that youtube have picked up
and lifted up even though they earned it on their own i'm not saying they didn't but youtube has
helped pick them up like the jenna marbles and those types of people who are getting that youtube
red carpet treatment.
And everyone that's not currently in that bubble,
you're going to be clawing real hard to get yours.
I feel like that's been the case forever.
It's been that, well, that's what I've been saying.
We really saw it start, I guess, a year, year and a half ago.
And now it's, that's just how it is.
There's been a few injections of funding,
and I've talked to people that i can't i shouldn't give sources but it's not like i'm plugged into the know exactly but i
would hear like dollar amounts that these channels would get smaller channels but just because of
what they did or who they knew and tens and tens of thousands of dollars and sometimes i was a
couple instances somebody told me that one channel got like, call it $60,000 of seed money, development money that was his to do with as he pleased.
But, you know, it was for developing the channel.
And he just spent it on a house.
He spent it on his house.
So, like, back when related channels popped up, remember you two came with a new format and there were related channels on the side?
You know, you could put your friends in there and then you could put related channels. Those related channels on the side. You could put your friends in there
and then you could put related channels.
Those related channels were always giant.
They were like the PewDiePies and Jenna Marbles
and the, who's the big makeup woman?
Michelle Pham.
That's who I'm thinking of, Michelle Pham.
Those were the related channels
and it's like, oh my God, life is so unfair.
I never get to be a related channel.
It's always these giants.
Before that, the homepage format,
which benefited FBS Russia a lot,
it seemed like you had to be a superstar
and then you make it to the homepage or a cheat.
And those things, like those people
that made the homepage all the time would get boosted in a really big way.
Loved it.
It always seemed like there was a, like, you know, there's the people who do well, the people who don't do well.
And then the people who do really well get a lift that you haven't seen ever before.
I don't think this is something new.
I don't want to make an enemy over there at YouTube.
I certainly don't think this is something new. I don't want to make an enemy over there at YouTube, and I certainly don't.
But if you think for a sec, I genuinely believe that the game is rigged in favor of certain people who meet certain criteria that YouTube feels.
And I mean, Susan will tell you that right there.
She said there on the stage of VidCon one year and said that there are certain people who we are putting on billboards or putting on the talk show circuit because we want to prove that YouTube can make real celebrities too. And if she's doing that,
obviously they're also doing the other thing. People get weighed heavily, more heavily in the
system. There's a system that very few people even talk about called super likers. And if one
of these super likers like one of your videos, it will do severely better than a previous video.
That's a program that's very, very hush hush. It's not talked about. The algorithm is not 100% fair. Now, it's still
fair because anybody can create content. You can still do something, but the statistical
chances of you breaking into the Markiplier Jacksepticeye level is real slim now.
I felt like that old homepage was fair to a certain extent. Now, it was
easily manipulatable, that's what we found in the end, but there's something to be said
about putting a spotlight on the video that got the most views for that day, regardless
of what it's about or who made it. Whether it's the World Trade Center, I'm sure, if
there was a YouTube then. But if there's a disaster, if there's a tsunami, whatever,
that's going to be the most viewed video.
But then again, it could be a Kardashian tripping and falling.
It could be anything.
I liked that, and I liked the most favorited,
but that quickly, that guy with the favorite bot became an issue.
And I'm sure there were many others.
Yeah, and the current algorithm we have right now
weighs two things very heavily.
The first is the watch time
that your channel has overall.
If they're watching multiple videos
in a row or you're uploading long form content,
the sweet spot is 10-12
minutes. You want to reach at least 10 minutes
average watch time for your channel. That will
clue you in on YouTube Red Money
and that'll include
or you're going to watch my short-form
content if they watch three or four videos in a row, which sucks because I've never used
end cards and I don't like using end cards, but whatever.
The other is frequency of upload, and so a lot of people are getting heavily punished
like animators or people who create music.
They're getting heavily punished because they can't upload as often as YouTube would like them to.
And that algorithm
was created as a
response to the Reply Girl
thing, which was three or four years
ago now, right? Do you guys remember the
Reply Girl? Oh, we spoke at length
about that recently. Yeah, last week, I think.
So in order to push that
kind of content down and push
the other stuff up, that's what they've done.
Watch time and they don't really care about views anymore.
They don't really care about likes anymore.
They only care about watch time and frequency of upload.
Watch time is a function of views, right?
My understanding is if you have like 100,000 hour-long watches, that that's I should make my numbers
smaller. If you have 1,000
hour long watches that's
comparable to 250
15 minute watches. They just care about
the watch time on a video.
It's weird because
sometimes I'll upload
long form content like an unboxing
or a panel I did at a con
and then that will be my most bled-into video as the next, you know,
up next is this panel I did.
And the problem is the fans will watch it to begin with.
They'll be, like, super excited, and 50,000 of them will watch it,
and it's an hour long, and they'll watch the entire thing.
Then it gets recommended to everybody that's new to the channel they don't want to watch me for an hour the first thing
they've seen all they've seen is a francis video and they want to see more francis they don't want
to see me answer questions at retropalooza and so they then they start to do tragically well
or tragically poorly because the watch time on it's 30 seconds like i'm not gonna watch this shit
you know it's weird it's weird yeah I mean that's
the thing that that a lot of people who watch YouTube don't really understand there's always
this constant song and dance with the algorithm and with PR and within hackers and all this stuff
you're always dealing with the uh that's the real consuming. One of the scary things is that you can change the,
like YouTube can change the rules any day,
right?
So I've got two guys in my head right now that are doing super,
super well.
Um,
the game theorist,
do you watch his channel at all?
Oh yeah.
I love Matt pad.
I love a guy.
I love everybody over that channel.
Yeah.
So,
so he makes really good videos.
Let's lay that out there.
I like his videos.
When I see one, I'm like, I get really there. I like his videos when I see one.
I'm like, I get really absorbed.
I almost always watch them to the end.
His watch time must equal his video length nearly every time.
Something about the pacing of it gets you to watch for 12 to 15 minutes.
And then so he nails you on that.
And the length of it is right for the long ads.
The length of it is right for the long ads. The length of it is right for the watch time.
It seems his content is great, but I feel like his content is heavily influenced by the way that YouTube rewards content.
There's a reason his videos are that long.
It's not just because that's the exact amount of time it takes to make his point.
He structures his point in some way that makes it take the right amount of time it takes to make his point he structures his point in some way
that makes it take the right amount of time oh i i could probably get in trouble for saying what
i'm about to say and matt if you ever hear that i said this please do not get angry at me but i
will tell you that matt is a fucking genius when it comes to the youtube algorithm when it comes
to what it's looking for, and he shares it with
his immediate friends, and it doesn't always help them very much, but for the most part,
it's a closely guarded secret, because he's smart enough to figure it out based on looking
at his own analytics.
That's where I think it comes from, and you're absolutely right.
I know for a fact that when somebody asked him at Retropalooza, I was on a panel with
him, and somebody asked him, what can I do to improve YouTube?
His answer wasn't, well, upload consistently and be cheerful and smile a lot.
It was 10 minutes of technicals because that's what YouTube is to him.
It's a puzzle to be figured out because the guy is a fucking genius.
Yeah.
So now another guy, GreatUnderA.
I don't think he does it
as intentionally
as Matt,
I don't even know his name,
does.
But his videos
are all just the right length
and they seem to get you
to watch to the end
and his channel crushes it.
He gets more views than subs,
which is an uncommon thing.
He's hysterical too.
Yeah.
But his videos
are just what YouTube
is looking for right now.
And it's, like sometimes, like during my YouTube career, YouTube is looking for right now. And it's like,
sometimes I like during my YouTube career,
YouTube has changed what it wants many times,
you know,
at least three right now,
they like long form video for some reason.
I don't know why they prefer it,
but they seem to,
if you make three minute long videos,
which I enjoy,
I've been watching a lot of demolition ranch and vet ranch and stuff.
That's not what YouTube wants you to make anymore. He does
great, but his videos are all like three
to five minutes and
YouTube's not looking for that.
If they change their mind,
then he's going to start getting 10 million views a video
and the
Game Theory channel is going to start getting
100,000 views a video.
I'm looking at grade A, under A right
now and I've been watching this. I'm looking at grade A, under A right now.
I've been watching this.
I'm caught up. Every one of these videos has a watched
signal over it.
Things I Find Stupid, a million views.
Prank Channels, a million views.
Nicole Arbor, two million views.
This is from a guy with
still under a million subscribers.
It's exactly
that. Look, 10 minutes, 11 minutes, 10 minutes, 11 minutes.
That's the sweet spot.
And another way that I know that that's a sweet spot
is because Rhett and Link have a TV show called Good Mythical Morning,
and it does superbly well with the current YouTube algorithm.
And it's always right about 12 minutes.
That's where you want to target.
And people watch the end because they want to see the Wheel of Mythicality.
They want to see their And people watch the end because they want to see the Wheel of Mythicality. They want to see
their end card.
And they want to see what stupid thing they're going to do
at the end.
I'm going to take a shot at Great Ender A and I'm going to get blasted
for it. But you don't find that he just
complains about other people every video?
It's not my cup of tea.
He does. And there's a lot of
griping about other YouTubers and a lot of other stuff.
But people love that, right everybody loves apparently yeah you know i've got a bunch of watch symbols
over him too so maybe i'd love it and just hate deny it you know i mean like for example i hate
even ever bringing them up because i know i'm gonna get like a bunch of negative feedback when
i say it but you look at uh keemstar right and uh keemstar uh you know he fucks up pretty often man when he
fucks up I'm gonna call him on it you know that Keem that said it's difficult to not watch a show
when it's recommended to you because that shit's fascinating to see what crazy shit other YouTubers
are doing what crazy shit's going on in the community it's just fascinating I think it's
just human nature to want to know that I don't think he executes on
the format really well because he's
not a very good reader and
he gets news stories wrong, like
calling people pedos that aren't pedos
several times. Yeah, that was fucking bad.
That was so bad. But
he invented a format
that was on target.
He invented a format that was on target. He invented a format that people like.
So you take it one step further away from what he's doing,
and then you have what Grade A is doing.
And that is considerably more interesting to me
and more enjoyable to me because it's that,
but with an actual opinion built into it too.
And I love that show.
I love Grade A. He's just fucking funny. That's what? And I love that. I did love gray.
He's just fucking funny.
That's what really makes it funny.
This is funny.
If you were in my shoes,
you'd think drama alert has an opinion built into it.
Whatever he mentions me and all he does is like read things I wrote.
I'm like,
ah,
thank God.
That's not even bad.
When,
uh,
when he's like,
well,
this part's not verified.
And then he like invent something.
That's when it gets ugly.
I still watch DeFranco for the same reason. I watch grade a too. like, well, this part's not verified, and then he invents something. That's when it gets ugly. I still watch DeFranco for the same reason I watch Grade A, too.
I've been watching a lot of Philip again lately.
I've been watching him since he was at Sexy Phil or whatever.
But his show is exactly that.
It's a little bit of YouTube drama.
It's a little bit of celebrity shit.
It's a little bit of sports,
and it's in that nice little 10-minute bite-sized chunk, and i'll put it on and play a game of hearthstone and that's what brings
me to it is is just that a little bit of drama that little taste of drama yeah we had him on
last week he's a he's a good guy a guest i like him a lot yeah i will tell you that and i hate
to say this i thought he was going to be a bit of a jerk the first time I met him. Because when I was watching his content, I thought, oh, he's going to be kind of gruff
and kind of whatever.
And I bet in real life, he's just not that great of a person to know.
And then I met him at VidCon, and he was nicer to me than any other person at VidCon.
And I've never met a mean YouTuber.
I just want to make that very clear.
Nobody's ever been anything but nice to me.
That's actually true, yeah.
But Philip was so nice.
He's showing me baby pictures
and he introduced me to the wife.
He's like, oh, Boog, I'm so proud of you. I see your channel
is doing well. He's like, how many
views are you up to? He's just complimenting.
He's like, I love the friends. He was just so,
so nice.
To this day, I feel bad
that I thought that about him because it's so far off
base you know yeah yeah I I think of him as one of the good guys but then I also like do you
remember Will of DC uh no I don't remember well he used to do like a YouTube news like sort of
update thing he was very obsessed with me he liked me a lot lot. I met him at VidCon, and I gave him a pair of FPS Russia panties,
and he was very happy to have them.
For himself.
Yeah, of course.
I like Will of DC, too.
I know that he and Phil had friction somewhere along the way.
I don't know what the core of it is.
But, yeah, he works for EA now.
I did a thing with EA and like he was,
uh,
I guess the,
I guess you'd call him our handler.
You know,
he just made sure that we were going to get to where we needed to be.
And he was running the thing.
It was cool.
I was like,
I was a little starstruck.
All right,
we'll call it.
Uh,
I always say it because I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm it's,
it's,
I'm sitting in this chair and like my back is just fucking killing me.
I keep shifting positions and moving this pillow under me,
and it just keeps hurting.
That's right.
Well, the good news is I made it to the end of a PKA.
I normally have to check out of these things early,
but I just decided, what the hell?
Let's see if we can get through the whole thing.
I have the same problem.
This lower back man is screaming at me.
I hurt mine on a diving board when I was like 13.
It made a cracking noise, and it hurts in like certain weird –
if I sit wrong or in like – if I have to sit in the back seat of a truck
that's not like a full back seat or something,
and my knees are higher than like my ass, if that makes sense, sitting,
it starts hurting, and it's just excruciating.
I should probably get a doctor to look at that, but it's not a thing that like affects day-to-day life.
Yeah. Remember preventative care. That's what you're supposed to do. Right. And I'll get that
preventative care. Cause I'll tell you, if I had had the capacity and the money to go to a doctor
when I first had this injury, that's led to what this is. I would hate the fact that I didn't treat it back then.
I hate it.
I hate it every day.
Well, check out our sponsors down below.
Boogie, what would you like everyone to go check out?
What would you like to plug?
I'm still making YouTube content on the daily five days a week
at YouTube.com slash Boogie2988.
And that's a fairly tame version of myself. If you prefer to
see the kind of thing I am doing here on PKA and talking about the types of things to talk about,
check out my Twitch channel. I stream five nights a week, generally very late at night,
but that schedule may change. I play a bunch of H1Z1 and I troll in there. I screw with people.
I play whatever feels good. I play whatever game is popular, whatever I feel like playing.
More importantly though, I sing and I
dance and I make a complete ass out of myself.
A lot of people seem to think it's really
super fun to watch. It's twitch.tv
slash boogie2988.
I'd love it. You can follow me on
Facebook, Twitter.
Those are my two primary things, boogie2988
and you can watch me
get really screamed at a lot by feminists there,
if you like, because that's funny.
That happens to me a lot.
It's too bad they didn't find that vagina or you'd have had it made.
I know.
Oh, I know.
I like the way we ended that.
PKA episode 268.