Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #273

Episode Date: March 18, 2016

This week on PKA, our guest disappears but Chiz sits behind the scenes fact checking & chimming in every now and then, the guys discuss marijuana related topics, we play Kyle's epic prank call and dis...cuss what Kyle's dad has been up to.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Most live. And we're live. I'm trying to hit the recording button. That's the one that's taking so long. Oh, we're live. And we're live. Here we are. Painkiller already, episode 273.
Starting point is 00:00:15 Most live. And we're live. We have several sponsors tonight. I'm trying to hit the recording button. We just want everyone to take a look down in the description below. If you're interested in Club W, Dollar Sh Club Casper calm ring calm prosper calm or a bronze Metal from Sony pictures. We're gonna talk about all those things later in the show, but for now let's get right into it terrific right into it Taylor do we start with Kyle's parents relationship
Starting point is 00:00:37 You know what I was gonna lead there organically you know yeah Taylor had this segue plan, but but Woody Woody just really crammed it down my throat. So yeah, I talked to my dad today. Future topic, my dad's health. Okay, so I talked to my dad today, and so recently we had some heavy winds and it blew a few shingles off his roof. So he had the insurance adjuster come out, and they figured it all out. They wrote him a check for everything. And so he says to me this. He says, I tried to speak to your mother the other night about the roof situation.
Starting point is 00:01:11 I don't know if I want to redo the whole roof. I want to re-shingle the whole roof. I don't know if I want to change shingle colors. I've considered putting on a metal roof. And so I went to her, and I said, said honey I want to talk to you a little bit about the roof he said and she just blew up right there and started what do you want to talk about you're certainly not doing anything about it and just like like went went apeshit so he was just like he let her go on and then he went she went so what do you want to talk about and he just he
Starting point is 00:01:39 goes nothing I lost my train of thought and he walks away he's like Kyle I'm gonna put blue tarp on the ceiling like we're like we're refugees fucker she don't like it she can she can get up there and hammer some hammer some nails he's like I'm gonna put a blue tarp on that roof and if she don't like it fucker he's gonna intentionally make it look shitty like those houses that like Christian missionaries that are actually 16 year old kidsold kids are building for those poor Mexicans? It's going to look like a Katrina refugee. There should be people on that roof waving for help. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:12 He's going to put a blue tarp on that roof just to spite her ass and pocket the insurance money, I guess. Oh, that's great. So then he tells me that he's been messing with her a little bit. He says, the other night, you know, she likes to take a shower in the morning before work. He said, so I figured I'd just go and turn the hot water heater off the night before. He's like, but damn it if that water still wasn't hot in the morning. So I got to turn it off a little earlier tonight so it'll be cold for her. So I started chuckling. He said, you know, she's got her own coffee machine. She won't use the pot anymore. She's got the Keurig machine over there, and I'm not allowed to touch it.
Starting point is 00:02:48 He tried to use it a while back after I talked him through how simple it was and how it was a really good cup of coffee, and she scolded him because he didn't put distilled water in it. He put tap water in. What? Yeah. That's a thing? Is he a radiator?
Starting point is 00:03:04 So he says, so the other morning i went in there and uh fixed myself a cup of coffee and had a uh there was a half a diet pepsi sitting on the counter so i just went ahead and filled her coffee machine on the rest of the way up he's like bet that tasted like shit don't you he's like dennis the menace at this point your dad is just a 60 year old dennis the menace war of the roses with with uh like kirk douglas and kathleen turner like it's like that like they're sharing the house we're not going to split this thing up we're hammering through it but this is like the first half hour of stepbrothers like what did she do with the retaliation you know did she put did she poop in his shoes or something like um she'll oh i know what she did she um he had some spicy relish that
Starting point is 00:03:51 he was going to put on some hot dogs and she threw his spicy relish away um and it was intentional and that's what that that's what started this he because he went in there he was like have you seen my my spicy relish she's like i threw it away all right then and then he goes and turns the hot water right here off Have you seen my spicy relish? She's like, I threw it away. All right, then. And then he goes and turns the hot water heater off. So they've got a real childish kind of back and forth going between a 62- or 63-year-old man and a 52- or 53-year-old woman. So is that what happens when you go over there?
Starting point is 00:04:22 Are you, like, reverting back to, like, a six-year-old mentality? Like, Mom, Dad, stop fighting like no way? No, first of all, I don't go over there. I don't I don't see I haven't seen her in a while I I just visit my dad. I go see him at his shop He's usually hanging out over there shooting guns or working on cars or just hiding from my mother So I haven't seen her in a little while not not since the holidays, but they don't fight They just kind of stay away from each other and try not to – because if they get too close, it just goes poorly. It seems like there's a lot of – there's no war, but they're having –
Starting point is 00:04:55 Cold war. What they're doing is like Vietnam between two superpowers. It's just like a proxy war of pouring soda in the Keurig and throwing away relish. This is going to build up. It's going to hit a critical mass where that spicy relish was all he wanted all fucking day, and he gets home. It really was.
Starting point is 00:05:10 And when it's not there, something's going to explode. He'll tear another hole in your head. I don't think I can co-sign that. That's how it is. It's little petty things. He's like, I asked her to make me some cornbread. She wouldn't do it. You know, it's little stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:05:22 It's just like little petty things. They go back and forth with that stuff. So my internet went out Saturday and I hadn't had internet for, it was Tuesday comes around I still don't have internet and I'm like, well this is bullshit. So I go to the internet office, they're closed on Tuesday. So I returned Wednesday, which was yesterday, and I go in there and this enormous woman who smelled awful. Tell me more about the smell.
Starting point is 00:05:48 Was it BO? It was dirt. It was like a dirty smell, like an unshowered smell. It wasn't like BO. Grime, thank you. There was a layer of it. I bet if I licked my finger and did that,
Starting point is 00:06:03 I could see the stripe, you know what I mean? So anyway, I tell this lady, I was like, hey, my internet's been out since Saturday. This is kind of messing me up. I need my internet. And I realized that she's really clueless about this whole thing. She's having a hard time. She's having to call a supervisor and stuff. And then I realized that there's really something up over there. She's been checking my account and clicking away and calling for help for like 10 minutes and I'm just standing there like what the fuck? I have not been charged for internet in two years.
Starting point is 00:06:32 $5,000 worth of free internet. That's about what your internet's worth. It auto-debits out of my account and when you it just stopped. At some point they did something to the account and it stopped charging us and I haven't paid
Starting point is 00:06:52 for internet on two lines in two years, exactly 24 months and it comes to roughly $5,000 for the free internet. So she's like, well we're going to have to start charging you and I was like, well I guess that's fair and I was like, well is there an upgrade? And she's like, well, we're going to have to start charging you. And I was like, well, I guess that's fair. And I was like, well, is there an upgrade? And she's like, yeah, there is an upgrade. So I've upgraded from 12 megabits download by 2 megabits upload to 20 megabits download by like 2.5 up.
Starting point is 00:07:21 So it's – Can you go over that? What was it before and after? It was – now it's 12.2 over that what was it before and after it was now it's twenty-two twelve twelve twenty two and a half correct that's a step up yes they download but both exact yeah yeah I really wish they I they have fifty by five in some locales but not mine and I really wanted it because you need at least twenty five to stream 4k and that's what I want. I you know I got this 4k TV
Starting point is 00:07:47 I'd be cool to watch things like house of cards is presented in 4k is that Oh the 4k is your new one. It's smaller. Yeah, it's the one we're on now. It's a 42. I think gotcha yeah Yeah, hmm My dad got out of the hospital today The clever segue there, but my dad got out of the hospital today. Clever segue there. But my dad got out of the hospital. So for those of you who watch the show all the time, I know there's some people on the stream and stuff.
Starting point is 00:08:10 Maybe they don't. But my father has this legendary sex life. And as he was going in, he had surgery on his prostate, which can have an impact on your sex life. So he's there on the gurney thing, and he's all drugged up. They put him on something just to make him happy and just chill. I don't know if you've ever had surgery, but it's my favorite drug in the world. I start looking forward to it. If there's something wrong with my arm or knee, it's like, it's going to be awesome.
Starting point is 00:08:41 And as he's high on the gurney, he starts telling all the nurses and doctors about his legendary sex life and how it's like especially critical that they do a good job on this so that he can get it back. And I was just like, yeah, dad. I've accused my mom. Kyle has a bumpy relationship with his mom.
Starting point is 00:09:00 I mock one with mine. I'm like, you wore him out, mom. Look what you did. The man can only take so much. I just imagine him whispering to the doctor, if you could give me a little more girth, that'd be nice. And your mom being like, no, no, don't do it. No more.
Starting point is 00:09:18 It's almost a deadly weapon already. But he got home today, and it appears that everything is going to be okay so I'm really happy about that yeah it's great I'm sure the first time he has he makes love to your mother you'll all know about it welcome to the house though like I don't know if your dad has Twitter but that would be one of his that would be his tweet. He doesn't even have a cell phone. Took the wife to pound town.
Starting point is 00:09:51 Your dad, he doesn't have a cell phone? He doesn't. He used to have one. The moment he retired, he retired maybe, I'm making this up, two and a half years ago, something like that. And one of his first things was to get rid of the cell phone. Just because it reminded him of work and he didn't want to be at anyone's beck and call? He's not a phone guy and he only had it so that he was available to clients. Is it because the cell phone is the mark of the beast?
Starting point is 00:10:18 Just like women drinking beer. Cell phones are right up there with beer and women driving. Plus, bath, all that stuff. Cell phones are right up there with beer and women driving. Plus, bath, all that stuff. Cell phones. He does believe in the Mark of the Beast thing, which I can't see eye to eye on. I got talked about that growing up. It's creepy. Yeah, but what's funny is, like, I don't know. You mentioned the eye.
Starting point is 00:10:39 Like, I guess there's a mark on your right hand that you show to people and you need it for commerce. So when you say, like, oh, are you talking about the iWatch? He's like, maybe. Like, it's a mark on your right hand that you show to people and you need it for commerce. So when you say like, oh, are you talking about the iWatch? He's like, maybe. Like it's a viable theory. You know, like, oh. Is it my Eagles card? Right. Right, you know, like your local grocery discount thing
Starting point is 00:10:57 where you need this to buy things, it's in your right hand. Like, yeah, this sounds right. It's- You think when you go to Costco, you think you're just getting good prices on exceptionally quality meat but really no it's the mark of the beast you can't you can only buy six pounds of cheese it's in one box through satan apparently that's the only way to do it yeah but uh yeah that's yeah i made chicken the other night i battered i battered it with uh with cheese it's it was amazing you battered it with Cheez-Its. It was amazing. You battered what with Cheez-Its?
Starting point is 00:11:26 Put the Cheez-Its in a food processor, grind them up, and do like an egg wash on the chicken, roll it in the Cheez-Its, back in the egg wash, back in the Cheez-Its until you got a nice layer of Cheez-Its. Yeah, delicious. And it was good. Oh, yeah. What kind of Cheez-Its did you use, original?
Starting point is 00:11:42 Yeah. Okay. I wasn't going to go to Parmesan or something like that. No, I wouldn't want to be low class. No. What is your favorite cheese? My favorite cheese? It's like
Starting point is 00:11:56 Pepper Jack. I like Pepper Jack cheese. Pepper Jack's good. Colby Jack is good. In my house, mozzarella is known as the king of cheeses, and everything else is just a pretender. It's just a wannabe mozzarella. American cheese, which is nice. Sandwiches as well? Yeah, it can be.
Starting point is 00:12:11 It's my favorite pizza cheese. It's my favorite sandwich cheese. It's the best cheese. And I will sometimes... Well, mozzarella is the best pizza cheese. I think we can all agree. Or parmesan. Anytime another cheese is used, I feel like it's because there wasn't mozzarella available.
Starting point is 00:12:24 Anytime another cheese is used, I feel like it's because there wasn't mozzarella available. If I go to Kodoba's, is that what it is? And get like a chicken gumbo, it's the mozzarella I want in there. Mozzarella is the best cheese. Yeah, different cheeses for different things. To me, that's an Italian food cheese. It goes well with like, I don't know, lasagnas and pizzas and pastas. cheese. It goes well with lasagnas and pizzas and pastas, but if it's a sandwich,
Starting point is 00:12:46 I want Colby Jack, Pepper Jack, maybe some sort of cheddar, something like that. I want some mild or maybe medium cheddar. That sharp cheddar on sandwiches is gross. Sharp cheddar tastes cheap, like it's poor people food. I don't know any other way to put it.
Starting point is 00:13:01 It tastes like it's government cheese or something. I don't know. Yeah, it's like if... Do you ever buy the wrong hot dogs? I don't know any other way to put it. It tastes like it's government cheese or something. I don't know. Yeah, it's not very – it's like if – do you ever buy the wrong hot dogs? I don't know if you guys get hot dogs the same way, but I only get like the Nathan's or the some kind of all beef Frank. Yeah. Bun length because I'm not a poor. Check your privilege, Berger. I can have a bite of hot dog with every bit of my bun.
Starting point is 00:13:23 Thank you. I can spring for 13 extra cents. But do you ever get those shitty Oscar Mayer ones when you're desperate, and it's made of turkey and pork, and it's just an amalgamation of garbage. When I was a kid, like in the afternoons, when I'd hang out with my dad, he would go to this country store, and there was a big dinner table set up with big chairs set around it, and all the locals would kind of hang out around that table and eat their lunch or a snack or a coke or whatever and there was a checkerboard and it
Starting point is 00:13:51 was that kind of like a country store hangout spot and i'm losing my train of thought rewind for me what were you talking about cheeses hot dogs the length of buns yeah so they served hot dogs at this place they had a hot dog machine and she only put the cheapest red the weenies were red and I ate them But I always knew that they were just low class like they every now and then you get a bit of bone That you'd bite into because it's you know it's it's it's shitty hot dog meat But yeah now I get the Nathan's or like the ballpark like big ones You know I want all beef the nice ones are the nathan's or like the ballpark like big ones you know i
Starting point is 00:14:25 want all beef the nathan's ones are the best yeah i like those a lot yeah i saw that um burger king has started making hot dogs they call them grill dogs and those are all beef but i'm not eating a hot dog from burger king yeah it's probably like what they pawn it off as a great deal and it's like a buck 19 or something bet. I have no idea. When you can get plenty of hot dogs. There's no excuse to buy a hot dog ever, anywhere, because it's never any better than what you can get at home.
Starting point is 00:14:54 I beg to differ. Five Guys Burgers and Fries makes hot dogs. You're probably not aware of this. They split the weenie down the middle. It's still together, but it's split. And then they grillie down the middle. It's still together, but it's split. And then they like, they grill it on the grill. It's really, really good. And they pile it
Starting point is 00:15:09 high with toppings like Chicago style. And I like it a lot. Yeah, I mean, I guess that makes sense if you're gonna, cause somewhere like five guys, you're not gonna be like, yeah, and then some ketchup and mustard. You're gonna be like, and I throw in some fucking mushrooms on there. Put some bacon on there. Jalapenos. Like, that makes sense. That's what I get. You're gonna be like, throw in some fucking mushrooms on there. Put some bacon on there.
Starting point is 00:15:26 Jalapenos. Like, that makes sense. That's what I get. You're not just gonna have a whole... Yeah, you don't have a huge assortment of that shit at home to do. But if you're eating a hot dog with just ketchup or just mustard or relish or something, just fucking eat it at home. No reason not to. I'm a big fan of the five guys.
Starting point is 00:15:41 I think I know who Woody's talking to. I'm not talking to anyone I'm calling Wings. Just to see. Okay. Trying again. Yeah. Yeah, we want to get a hold of Wings of Redemption. Talk to him.
Starting point is 00:15:53 So I'm going to Wings House tomorrow. Are we streaming? Are there people listening to this live? Yes. I'm not going to refer them or anything. I don't want to bring it up and make that a disruption in any way. But, yeah, so tomorrow I'm going to Wings of Redemption's house up in Conway, South Carolina, and we're going to get the hot sauce thing moving forward.
Starting point is 00:16:09 Going to get those photos of him taken. And no promises, but I will take a video camera. I'll take a DSLR and some memory cards and my flamethrower because I thought it would be funny to make sort of like a 30-second promo video for Wings of Redemption.
Starting point is 00:16:23 The hot sauce, the flamethrower. I didn't put it together until just now. Yeah, so he's going to cook some hot wings with a flamethrower and his own blend of spices and herbs that are incorporated into his hot sauce. You think a lot of thought's gone into his signature mix of spices and herbs? I've had him on it for weeks now. I sent him a lot of literature and I sent him like a 38 herb and spice
Starting point is 00:16:50 mixer kit with small amounts and he's been mixing and matching and coming up with what he wants. It's a butter base, but it's got a little kick to it. It's not too hot, but I like it a lot. None of that's true, by the way. You mean to tell me that Wings isn't actually sitting over there in South Carolina with a Morton Pestle, like, smashing up in one of those things?
Starting point is 00:17:13 Like, watching the powder, like, pass through light as he, like, looks at it with one of those, like, jeweler's glasses. With the sunlight, the morning sunlight peeking through his kitchen blinds, holding it up like that, sprinkling it. It's too fine! Fuck! You have to restart all over. He has a jeweler's loop inspecting. In reality, we talked about what his sauce should taste
Starting point is 00:17:38 like, and we talked to the sauce makers, and they sent us five different versions, and we'll settle on one of those five that most exemplifies the Wings of Redemption sauce brand. What flavor do you think of with wings? Like, just thinking of him, and then all the variations of wings that are out there, which one do you peg him as? It tastes a lot like Frank's Red Hot, because Frank's Red Hot is buttery, it's salty, and it's spicy. And that's what you want in a hot wing sauce.
Starting point is 00:18:02 And that's what I think about when I think of Wings of Redemption. That's what I think about, too. Just imagine what he would taste like. Like, if you licked wings, what do you think he would taste like? If I licked wings, what would he taste like? I imagine him being slightly salty, right? Slightly salty. Most people are salty.
Starting point is 00:18:20 Yeah, give yourself a lick. Try it out at home. I imagine that he would be a little buttery, too, because maybe he had, had like a Papa John's pizza with that butter sauce and a bit, there were some drippings, you know? It's maybe like a garlic butter. Yeah. He's always got a slight glaze of butter.
Starting point is 00:18:36 A slight glaze of butter. So he's salty, a little buttery. It's an anti-aging. Don't, no, I'm not making fun of it. It's an anti-aging technique he uses people are getting ahead of themselves I'm sure that's why he uses the butter I bet that you would taste like Taco Bell fire sauce
Starting point is 00:18:52 I bet Chiz would taste like soot from a 19th century chimney it's like a chimney sweeps beard. I don't know. I taste like some kind of fowl. Woody would taste very rich. I feel like he'd be hard to stomach. Hmm.
Starting point is 00:19:18 I would only eat Woody because I know given the opportunity, he would eat me. Yes, absolutely. That's what makes it moral. The only thing that's stopped me so far is that we haven't been alone. I feel like Woody's gamertag is a meal for kings anyway, not a common man like myself.
Starting point is 00:19:35 No. I've had sex today twice. That's a stupid question. Never mind. Disregard that. We should move on. Come on. What were you going to ask? I was going to ask if you had to... Woody was saying... It gets demented because of the implication
Starting point is 00:19:52 of what Woody said. Saying that I haven't eaten you yet because we're not in the same room. I was going to say, if you could get one person, preferably famous so people know who they are, into a room and you have to eat them, who are you going to eat? Are you going to go for a big fatty? Because it'll be easier? Maybe taste better? Or are you going to eat you're going to go for a big fatty because it'll be easier maybe taste better you're going to go for like one of the olsen twins just
Starting point is 00:20:08 try and knock it out in one day all right so here's my question um how much of them do i have to eat do i have to kill them myself and how am i allowed to prepare them uh you have to eat at least half of their mass oh my god it's not in day. You're in this room for a while. Get comfortable. Do I have to do the butchering? Give me a butcher. Come on. I'm not capable of butchering an Olsen twin. I'm sorry. I'm just not like to kill babies.
Starting point is 00:20:37 Okay, so you are going with an Olsen twin. So you're going to eat all that. Probably OD. Yeah, that's the challenge. One of my original thoughts was like I'll get, I can't think of his name. Who's the lead? Axl Rose, right? If I ate like an Axl Rose, then that might be a pretty enjoyable experience, right? Like I could get a second hand high.
Starting point is 00:20:57 This is a guy like a Joe Rogan. There might still be some LSD rocking in that system. They asked Joe Rogan if he wanted to fight in the UFC at one point and he's like I'd pop that drug test wide open you know he'd break the the measuring device I would never eat Joe Rogan his he looks like he'd be made of like corded up monkey muscle like just really tough I feel like if I you know but in terms of like just quality meat I feel like Oprah is a nice – like I picture her marbly. No?
Starting point is 00:21:27 No. There's not even – you know when you buy bacon and you can see through that back slit and you can see like, oh, that's all fat. There's only a tiny bit of meat. That's what Oprah would be like. It would be so much fat that it would be overwhelming and there wouldn't be enough actual meat there. I think you want someone like maybe someone like Brock Lutton, an O-lineman in the NFL. I disagree.
Starting point is 00:21:49 It's going to be like a ribeye. No, so here's the problem. Humans live to like 30, 40 years old. You would never eat a 30-year-old cow because it would be all tough and chewy and sinewy. No, you want to eat baby. If you're going to eat human, you want to eat baby. Who are the current Disney stars?
Starting point is 00:22:05 That might be one of the best ways to narrow this down. I love that you're going to current Disney stars. I don't know. I'm sure that's so Raven. I'm sure she isn't, you know. No, she's not. Yeah, I was going to go with Shox, not Taylor Swift. I forgot who it was.
Starting point is 00:22:23 I had one in my head. I'll eat Taylor Swift. Oh, Hannah Montana. But she's older. Taylor can't weigh more than what? Like 100 pounds. Taylor? I can eat Taylor.
Starting point is 00:22:30 I think he's more than 100. Oh, Taylor Swift. Right, right. Yeah. I was thinking Mercadurka. I'm going with the over on the 100 pounds. Yeah, I don't want to eat Taylor. No way.
Starting point is 00:22:38 A little over 100. I don't know. Speaking of the Olsen twins no go ahead I watched some of Fuller House I watched
Starting point is 00:22:50 say first eight minutes before I couldn't take it anymore I don't like to throw the word cringe around because I feel like
Starting point is 00:22:57 it's overused by a lot of people who are really socially awkward and they're cringing when they shouldn't be cringing but that's just
Starting point is 00:23:03 my own personal thoughts on the matter but I was cringing at this a lot there was a funny joke or two when they shouldn't be cringing. Right. But that's just my own personal thoughts on the matter, but I was cringing at this a lot. There was a funny joke or two. When they brought up Michelle, who is Mary Colt- Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's character, you know, why she isn't there, someone literally says,
Starting point is 00:23:15 well, she's off running her fashion empire in New York, and they all look at the camera like, and they like stare at the camera like, kind of nodding, like, you should be like kind of nodding like you should be here you rich bitch you should have came back and done this for everybody uh for maybe a good solid three or four seconds a youtube clip where they're like a thousand dollars a shirt no wonder she doesn't need to act or something close to that yeah something like that yeah something something along those lines i only i watched this last night but um a lot of the jokes are just awful
Starting point is 00:23:44 it's it's really bad. Really bad writing. And it is cringeworthy. I didn't care for it at all back then or there. I didn't even make it eight minutes. I bet I made it three to four minutes. And it's hard to stomach. It really is.
Starting point is 00:23:56 And looking back, I don't know how I ever stomached the original series. The original had hearts. Chiz watched the whole fucking season. Chiz, get in here and explain this. Yeah, Chiz, explain yourself with watching Fuller House. I put on garbage when I'm working, okay, so I let it run in the background, and I thought I had to watch it
Starting point is 00:24:14 just to get it out of the way. I like Full House, Fresh Prince, those shows, so I watched the whole thing. And Kyle is right. There are several throughout the season fourth wall, and I hope you don't hear the helicopter in the background several fourth wall breaking jokes um about mary kate and ashley olsen and it's terrible i said it before like every episode the kids are on their phones very stereotypical like get off your phones and like they're trying to play with them and they don't play like they
Starting point is 00:24:40 did in the old series because everyone has their phones. They're doing selfies every fucking episode. They're talking about posting on Snapchat and Facebook. It is a terrible, terrible fucking show, and I only like watching when Bob Saget is on. Do they have really profound little tidbits too, like when all the adults are talking? Like, these kids nowadays, they don't want to go outside and play catch and basketball in the driveway like they did, but we did with their iPads and their doodads.
Starting point is 00:25:04 That's exactly what happens. I hate that shit. That's exactly what happens. The low moment for me in the driveway like they did, but we did with their iPads and their doodads. That's exactly what happens. I hate that shit. That's exactly what happens. The low moment for me in the eight minutes I watched was Dave Coulier emerging from his basement bedroom wearing these cartoon pajamas that were, like, matching tops and bottoms, and they bring up the fact that he is a 55-year-old man.
Starting point is 00:25:21 And it's just like, come on, Dave Coulier. Like, your character still hasn't really pulled his life together I mean and they even mentioned that he was doing well financially but he's still wearing cartoon pajama like onesie type thing and living in Bob Saget's basement. There's a fan theory out there
Starting point is 00:25:37 that he actually was a rapist slash killer the entire original series and that he was hiding it the entire time down there in the basement. Like that's why he was hiding things and noise. Like Ted Cruz. Yeah, like the Zodiac. I don't think that's a real fan theory
Starting point is 00:25:54 out there, but if you check, there could be something similar. It sounds realistic. We were going to have a guest tonight, we were intending to and it was John McAfee going for the Libertarian Presidential nomination. I thought that would have been really neat I I he is wanted for murder in Belize and uh he had to like escape the country he was seeking political asylum in like Guatemala I think and he didn't get it but he managed to like escape that country by faking
Starting point is 00:26:27 a heart attack and they burnt his house and seized all his assets in Belize and like dude I so wanted to I was very excited about having him on yeah what was the story of the murder is it pretty much for sure that he did kill someone uh oh shucks i don't know um it was a guy who is a libertarian next to him or something and he was there was someone who lived next to him that he knew that was murdered but i didn't see really any evidence that he did it the belizean i don't know police i just see bolivian no belizean that's it bolivians are from bolivia yeah yeah yeah these are Belizeans. I don't know much about Belizeans.
Starting point is 00:27:06 Belzonians. Let's go with Belzonians. Yeah, it's Belzonians. Yeah, which is confirmed the guy was his neighbor. And I don't know. It would have been really neat to have him tell the story of, like, trying to escape the country, hide in Guatemala, and fake a heart attack and stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:27:24 But he's also like a genius. He started working as a computer programmer for NASA and then went to a couple other places. He worked at Lockheed Martin while inventing the antivirus software. And then he made millions and now he's working on other stuff. Work hard, kids, and someday you can fake a heart attack to get out of Guatemala. Dare to dream. dare to dream in your millions yeah dare to dream i saw on his wikipedia page it was like at his peak of wealth he had a hundred million dollars which made me wonder like is this guy like destitute now i wouldn't think so right like i don't know because he doesn't own mcafee antivirus or whatever anymore the art i
Starting point is 00:28:05 read a few articles about him and i read like even before he was going to be a pka guest and the articles painted him as crazy and i don't mean to paint him as crazy just that that's what they say like he's always shirtless he's pumped himself up with all kinds of anti-aging drugs he's taking he like hires lots of women to be his harem and uh he's out of money they say i don't know if any of this is true this is all like what would you do if you're john mcafee two chicks at the same time exactly i like hook something like that up if i invented an antivirus and not even worry about a virus yeah oh, clever. Yeah, so now he bought some land in Belize, and he felt like there were life-saving medicines in there
Starting point is 00:28:51 that they just had to discover. Like if he started picking all the plants and dirt and stuff, they'd see something in there that hadn't been found yet. Lorenzo's oil. I don't know. It's pretty fascinating. I felt like if we had him on, he would explain it in such a way that I'd be unqualified to dispute it. It's pretty fascinating. I felt like if we had him on, he would explain it in such a way
Starting point is 00:29:06 that I'd be unqualified to dispute it. That was my guess. I want some of that snake oil he's selling, if that's the case. That'd be nice. Dude, the guy's like 50 and looks 20, so I want some too. Wait, does he look good?
Starting point is 00:29:18 From the neck down, yeah. He's got like a young guy's body. Like he's just thin and strong. But he's seven. You know how um inmates and maximum security look like that's kind of the dad bod you know that you get when you're like 50 something he looks like the ones that lift all the time you know and somehow he's got he's older so like all the skin on his body is like three-eighths of an inch lower than it should be
Starting point is 00:29:42 you know so the body's still tight but there there's, like, that nipple saggage that you see in older gentlemen. You know what I'm talking about. I do. Huh. Let's look for a John McAfee shirtless picture. I think he has an old face. He reminds me of, oh, who's that rocker with the rough voice?
Starting point is 00:29:58 Rod Stewart. Like, he's got a rough face. I just Wikipedia'd him, like, you'd him an hour or so ago before the show whenever we thought he was going to be able to make it. It turned out he didn't have very much time at all. He was really cutting it thin. Yeah, we didn't know how long he was going to be on, but when we found out he was delayed by 15 minutes,
Starting point is 00:30:19 he was like, well, I won't make it in time next time. His face is so wrinkled, but his body looks young. It looks like he's in one of those movies where you freeze time, but time, like you age too fast when you freeze time. And he like took a 10-hour nap with time frozen and then woke up and now looks like shit. Do you have a Van Winkle picture? Like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:40 Are you looking at the one with him next to all the paintings? No, the one with him next to all the paintings? No. The one... Oh. It's an OregonLive.com link, and he's just got so... His forehead is like a...
Starting point is 00:30:56 Kyle-esque copy-paste skills, one might say, Taylor. Oh, no. I was just looking for a better one, potentially. Here. There, look at that. Look at how many forehead wrinkles that is. It does look a little 70 in this. Thousands.
Starting point is 00:31:16 He can never even wonder about anything without giving away. Look how hot. He's got like a thousand-yard stare. It looks like he's really seen some shit down there and believe well he saw someone dying beliefs at his hands got enough close view of that one yeah allegedly he is not coming on the show oh that wired I think that's the article I read that talked about... It painted him a little crazy.
Starting point is 00:31:47 Like, it wasn't a flattering article. With that photo? He doesn't even have the hammer cocked. It looks like that's a hammerless, isn't it? Unless I can't even see. No, it's got a hammer. Oh, no, it has a hammer. It's got a hammer. Well, no, it has a hammer. It's got a hammer.
Starting point is 00:32:05 Yeah. Well, he looks like a very interesting fellow. I bet he'd be a blast to talk to. You know, like... Yeah. He's lived an amazing life. And to me, the tail end of it is not that enviable, right? Like, there's a lot of stress.
Starting point is 00:32:22 I don't think anyone enjoys getting accused of murder, hiding in Belize, finding yourself in Guatemala, etc. Like, that to me just sounds like a really bad scene. You know, he must be stressed. He's faking a heart attack to get out of the hospital. This sucks. But is it worth it to live an amazing life if the tail end of it's awful? I think it might be.
Starting point is 00:32:45 You know, we've talked about this before. See, for you guys, 50 is further away. But would you die at 50 if you could be like a pro athlete in the NFL? Would you take that ride instead of a normal one that goes to 100? Probably not. Probably not. I don't know. Maybe. i don't know maybe i don't know i feel like that would seem like a great idea for like 12 years and then as soon as you hit like 43 or something you just be like oh my god shit's getting real i'm not even the best at this life that i chose anymore there's a ton
Starting point is 00:33:21 of people better than me at this sport fuck i, I'm not even trending on Twitter unless I do something crazy, like get accused of rape or drunk driving to someone. Like, my life, I'm basically as irrelevant as I would be as an accountant at this same age, except I don't have a family and all this other stuff, and I won't get to live to be 100. Like, you know, I feel like when you're 53 years old
Starting point is 00:33:40 and you're, like, on a vacation maybe looking at your wife or family, you're like, you know what, I'm glad I picked this one. I'm glad I didn't go for the running back route or whatever the case may be. I suspect a lot of the amazing lives aren't that amazing when you live them, right? Like, you know, like a UFC fighter, right? That's a life that some alternate universe version of me might think was really cool. But, you know,
Starting point is 00:34:05 the back room, the working, like they spend every day in a gym. That gym's not clean. That gym doesn't smell nice. Like that. It's, it's a hard working existence filled with pain the whole way through.
Starting point is 00:34:17 It's just one or two nights where you're a celebrity. It's a man. I don't know. There might be a reason most people choose a regular comfortable life it might be better or not yeah i did not enjoy the fights this week um i paid the 60 dollars i felt ripped off in the end the first three fights went to decision and i don't know maybe a real fan could appreciate this a decision but they weren't even exciting decisions i didn't think um i knew who was going to win the decision
Starting point is 00:34:46 in each case before. I didn't need to listen. I went to the bathroom. I don't care what the judges say. I don't care exactly what the point spread is or whatever. I knew who was going to win or lose. And then both champs fell, which was good, I guess, but those fights weren't particularly
Starting point is 00:35:01 entertaining. I didn't think... I take that back. I really enjoyed the Conor McGregor fight and watching that because I was but those fights weren't particularly entertaining. I didn't think... I wanted Hollywood to win. I take that back. I take that back. I really enjoyed the Conor McGregor fight and watching that because I listened to what Joe said about it and that made me... He said that Conor's all about his left hand and everything else he does is to hide the left hand.
Starting point is 00:35:18 It's to hide the left hand with smoke and mirrors. And so I was watching that. And sure enough, he'd do a cartwheel or something, but it's the left hand. It's left hand, left hand. And if you look at Nick, this is what's fucked. It's the right side of his face
Starting point is 00:35:31 because the left hand kept coming in there and fucking him up. And I guess both Diaz brothers, according to Joe Rogan, have a lot of scar tissue around their eyes. And he really opened him up. But I saw him post-fight and he was speaking fairly well.
Starting point is 00:35:45 And it was pretty good. I liked his fight. And I guess the girls fighting was good too. But those first three fights were a real letdown. And in previous events I'd seen, the first three fights were as good as the main two. It wasn't a super card, right? I kind of felt like we were treating it like a super card. And there were some good fights that you didn't see.
Starting point is 00:36:06 I like the Diego Sanchez versus Jim Miller fight, but they put that all the way on Fight Pass, like hours ahead of time. And then I can't remember who it was, but the last Fox fight was also a pretty good one. If they had taken all their best fights and put them on the main card like they did old school, it would have been a really great card.
Starting point is 00:36:24 But instead, they took five great fights spread it out across three cards and none of them were particularly great i feel like this has to take some of the momentum some of the air out of the ronda rousey holly holmes rematch i bet it definitely does i yeah and the question is does holly rematch Ronda for a title shot? Or does Ronda get an immediate title shot against Misha? And it's cool. So Misha can beat Holly, apparently. Holly can beat Ronda.
Starting point is 00:36:54 And Ronda can beat Misha. So there's this rock, paper, scissors thing going on between these three guys. Three-way. Oh. That'd be good. Put all three of them in there i'd like to see that and a ladder match we've watched group mma before like it's on youtube oh my god it starts off like mma right and then what happens so it's 5v5 and it starts off like any other mma match like how
Starting point is 00:37:20 big is this ring um call it like half court basketball you know but it's it's a padded floor but roughly that half court basketball sized and um it starts off as kind of five one v ones but then it doesn't take long yeah group of may your only strong is your weakest guy one of the people fall right within like the first minute and a half or so one guy drops then there's two v1s that just pick off people one by one and they get brutalized it's awful then it's a 5v1 by the end and it's just like like and sometimes there's a guy who just won't give in he's like locked up with his original opponent but everyone's just raining blows down upon him, kicks and stomps. What do you do in that scene? It's like you're supposed to fight.
Starting point is 00:38:07 Call it 5v3, right? The three of you know you're screwed now. You have got a big, big problem. And so, like, I'm locking you up in a guillotine. Someone comes along and just soccer kicks me in the face, right? Because there's other people here. You know, what was going okay. You're like, hold him down.
Starting point is 00:38:25 Yeah, you know, and that's how the group stuff goes. It is brutal. It's brutal. This doesn't sound like fun at all. It's fun for the people watching. Oh, and that's it. See, at most other sports, even like one-on-one MMA, like the person is there because they really love it.
Starting point is 00:38:43 Like a football player will be like I fucking love Playing hockey player. I love the sport Group MMA like even interviewing those guys like you know red team you're ready to go up against you know team Cobra No, no, I want to fucking go home, but I got about $90,000 in student debt for my degree and so I'm about to get my fucking head kicked in by that Samoan guy over there So how about you fuck right off with this interview and let me go in there? That would be horrible. I would be trying to stay in the back and not hook up with my guy.
Starting point is 00:39:13 I would be hiding behind one of my teammates. So he's really getting 2v1'd and I'm just creating space. You're like, every time he reaches you to tag in, you lean back. You're like, oh shit, you missed again. You know, come on. I'm spitting my mouthpiece out immediately and, like, crawling on the ground looking for it while the ref's like, yeah, just let him find it. It's not tag team, though. It's literally, like, all ten people in there at once fighting.
Starting point is 00:39:36 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's. What would you do to get out of that? Would you just. I'd honestly have to be like, I have diarrhea. I'm going to diarrhea all over everyone in this ring unless I can leave. Like, I'm sorry. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:39:46 Brain check. Diarrhea? I don't know what I would do. I would not go in. Means they're druggies. That's the thing. Wait, what is? Yeah, so a couple of guys.
Starting point is 00:39:56 Like, there's this guy, Yoel Romero. He's gigantic. He's just so freaking jacked. He's 37. He looks 19. And he's, like, ro out he just he got caught for steroids but previously he's had two problems that they both called stool gate one was tim kennedy had him so knocked the fuck out that he spent an extra 30 seconds he couldn't answer the bell
Starting point is 00:40:20 and his corner um like pretended that like always spilled too much ice or something they delayed it to give him extra time to recover the stool gate before that was he shit his pants get it stool gate and uh yeah and if a fighter comes into a match with diarrhea like that it usually indicates they use diuretics to help them cut weight. This was Jose Aldo. No, it was Yul Romero We've watched that video before of the the MMA fighter shitting himself in the ring, right? Probably I can think of a couple of them Tim Sylvia. It runs Romero did there the shit runs down his leg. It's diarrhea He's very embarrassed the crowd moves. They take so they take pictures of him as he walks That wasn't the UFC though.
Starting point is 00:41:06 No, no, no. It was some sort of off-brand shit. What was his name? When he finally makes it to the big league, he's already going to be like the Brown Bomber or something. The worst part is... Out of the red corner!
Starting point is 00:41:21 Brian, the Brown Bomber! Cruise! Cruise! They just play fart music as he comes yeah so the way i remember it is he was from like the midwest like maybe uh maybe chicago or missouri somewhere in there and uh it happened like the fight itself
Starting point is 00:41:38 took place on the east coast so like i'm sure he was that his friends were consoling and be like look man nobody back home's ever gonna hear about this and then the youtube video is like three million views everybody's seen it it's so embarrassing and it's a lot of shit yeah what are you gonna do to me give me the one poop punch yeah the audience is great there's some that are like laughing and pointing and have their phones out and then there's like some women who just like seem to have a lot of class and they just like pretend that they can't i had no idea
Starting point is 00:42:08 you know they just it's like um i don't know a social non-event i can't think of a parallel with it like everyone knows it happened but we just pretend that it didn't like if someone is too drunk at christmas parties you know until they do something everybody pretends like oh well, well, you know. Hey, Uncle Terry! Like, crazy, crazy cat, but not doing it. You know what I mean, right? All those family, maybe not Woody,
Starting point is 00:42:34 because I guess your family doesn't, like, really drink. No, not really drink. No, no, no. Not in my family. So, um, what do I have? Oh, Mizzou! So it looks like mizzou has massive budget issues now are you familiar with this did you read it no i'm already done there so i don't care well let me let me let me get the university will enroll 1500 fewer students than projected they will have a budget forfall of $32 million.
Starting point is 00:43:06 It's staggering. And basically people aren't applying for Mizzou because last year, when you would apply to these things, they had all that like drama and shit on the, about the racism. Some of it was fake. There may or may not have been a poop swastika. That was fake too. It was not fake, but it wasn't from mizzou really and apparently there was a racial slur said off
Starting point is 00:43:32 campus at one point i don't even get how this stuff is an issue like you sensitive little fucks like is that a good thing no no when people saying racial epithets rudely at you, but is this, like, a huge degenerative problem at this university where it's just, you know, hordes of white kids walking around harassing minority students? Like, no, they're fighting a non-existent battle. They're just, you know, taking up arms against a big old straw man. It's just, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:44:03 And then you can't even talk about how their outrage is false or suddenly you just, by virtue of that belief, are suddenly on the other side where it's like, oh, so you like when people yell the N-word at black people on the street. It's like, well, no, but we don't have to act like this is fucking World War III, do we? Like, this isn't happening at that rate. It's ridiculous. Like, when that Paris thing went down, did you hear about the Twitter?
Starting point is 00:44:25 Some of the Black Lives Matter people who were involved with what was going on in Mizzou at the time, because it happened really close in time to when the Paris attack happened. They started a hashtag, like hashtag fuck Paris, about like, no, this shit here is more important. Like, yeah, they got people dying and getting shot, but, you know, feelings are being hurt campus-wide. Yeah, it's silly. Dude, I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated that a couple, like, Tumblarenas managed to cause a $32 million budget shortfall at Mizzou. I got the answer.
Starting point is 00:45:04 Go on. What? It's the Trump train, baby. You got the answer. Go on. What? It's the Trump train, baby. You gotta get on the Trump train. He's gonna put an end to all that. All his microaggressions? No more. No. He's gonna build a wall around that, too. Everything is a macroaggression. It's gotta be big. It's gotta be the best.
Starting point is 00:45:17 You know? Fuck you. I won't just not use your preferred pronouns. He just doubled down on his stance that most Muslims hate America, and they're making a big deal out of it. Dude, this is a problem. I don't even know if that's true or not. I've read stuff on both sides that, you know,
Starting point is 00:45:35 I don't even know where to stand on it. I believe that most Muslims in certain regions hate America. If you were to say most Muslims in Iran hate America, I'd be like, that's probably true. Iraq, I understand we're not very popular there. But then there's all kinds of Muslims in Indonesia, and I don't know where they stand on America.
Starting point is 00:45:56 I don't know. Trump stands on top of his wall. If you actually look at Trump's issues, they're not too far from what I would like to, you know, like one of the problems I had with the GOP was there like, like I would love a version of the Republicans that wasn't so fucking
Starting point is 00:46:17 religious, you know, that didn't try to have like a non-secular government that didn't try to mandate their religious beliefs into our law. Right. I don't want the Bible version of sheer law here in america like i don't want that um i they're like the some of the trump stuff i like oh look at this it's like a sane gop but then other stuff is completely insane you know and he lies i really have a hard time with how often trump lies and but compared with the other
Starting point is 00:46:46 with the politicians on stage though i mean they're all professional liars right yeah not all does he really lie more than cruz lying ted cruz as he calls uh i believe ted ted cruz lies too actually that's one of the reasons that his co-workers hate him so much because you like you'll sit there and fight for like small farmers your whole career and then if it's helpful to him, he'll be like, this guy hates small farmers. And they're like, what the fuck? No, no, no. That's like the opposite of everything I've done. I heard his nickname in high school was the lizard.
Starting point is 00:47:13 I wouldn't doubt it. Why is that? Kind of looks like a lizard. Oh, I thought you had like a one-liner. Bernie Sanders doesn't lie. Bernie Sanders isn't up there lying, I don't think. I believe that. Yeah, he's misrepresenting what's possible to achieve, which is lying.
Starting point is 00:47:28 Now, which of them aren't doing bad? No, no, no. That's what I'm saying. They all are. It's just people are way more, I don't know, when they call out the lies, people like to pretend that Trump's lies of, this guy hates small farmers, is somehow a huge chasm of difference between him saying that and Bernie saying knowingly, we're going to get you free education. We're going to get you free health care.
Starting point is 00:47:49 All this is going to get taken care of. X trillion dollars we're going to need in taxes. And this is how we're going to do it. Don't really look too close into it. It's not going to work. Bernie saying this is what I wish I could do as president is a lot different than Trump saying, what? I have no idea who David Duke is.
Starting point is 00:48:06 He said that. Did I get the name right, David Duke? That's the guy we're talking about, right? Yeah, that's the KKK guy. So David Duke endorsed him or something, right? Trump didn't immediately disavow him, which is a non-story. He did a few minutes later or whatever.
Starting point is 00:48:19 And then they started hounding him over it for the next two days. Two days? They're still going on about it. They still go on and say that he still hasn't disavowed him. He has, though, right? I think that's unfair. Of course.
Starting point is 00:48:32 I've heard him do it literally eight times. So what happens is they say David Duke endorsed you. Isn't that bad? It takes him longer than it should have to say, yes, it is bad. But he does. And let me just keep going. He said his earpiece was bad in that interview. That's possible.
Starting point is 00:48:49 So then he does disavow him, right? Like later that day. Like it doesn't take long. He takes the right stance. He says, I'm not David Duke's guy. I want nothing to do with him, et cetera. And for days, they're still hounding him over it. And he's still playing the, I don't know anything about David Duke.
Starting point is 00:49:04 I'm not sure who David Duke is, I know nothing about him. Fuck you. You've already disavowed him. You've been hearing about him everywhere you go in public for days. And you're still playing the, I don't know this guy card?
Starting point is 00:49:15 You do now. You do. Like you need to change your tune. That's a lie. Heck, two nights ago, he was giving away Trump steaks. You know, oh they're acting like all my business has failed.
Starting point is 00:49:24 You want some Trump steaks? I got them right them right here no trump steaks went out of business you just grab somebody else's steaks packaged them up in a trump label and you're acting like this isn't a go on wait he serves trump steaks at his places he serves trump steaks his his the places that his restaurants use trump steaks so you're right right. Maybe nobody else is, but he's using Trump steaks in Trump restaurants. He's using Trump water. Trump magazine, I'm sure, is in Trump hotels. It's not on the newsstand, most likely, but it's not defunct. It seemed misleading to serve Trump steaks and act like this was still a viable business.
Starting point is 00:50:01 But if you went to a Trump hotel or casino or nightclub, you could order a Trump steak. They're just steaks. No, they're not. What makes them Trump steaks? I mean, Chiz, will you please research what's special about Trump steaks? Nothing. They're served at his facilities. They're literally from the Bush Brothers.
Starting point is 00:50:20 Every pundit has been discussing this and I've read up on it. They're from the Bush Brothers Farm. He takes them, puts them in his facilities, and slaps the label Trump Steaks. He does not raise cattle in any way, butcher the cattle in any way. It's like a private label steak company.
Starting point is 00:50:36 But it's not a steak company. It's like if you go to his place and order a cup of steak. I slaughter every single fucking cow. It's not a steak company. You guys are full of crap. This isn't fair. You know, like and order Trump steaks. Here at Trump Steaks, I slaughter every single fucking cow. It's not a steak company. No, you guys are full of crap. This isn't fair. You know, like the Hilton steaks. You can't be like, these are Hilton steaks.
Starting point is 00:50:51 No, it's just a restaurant that serves steak. It doesn't really make it a Trump steak. He used to sell steaks, and now he doesn't. And he just pretends that they're Trump steaks because they're at his restaurant. Which I guess they kind of sort of are, but he doesn't. The magazine is more real than his steaks because they're at his restaurant which i guess they kind of sort of are but he does magazine is more real than his steaks he has a magazine called trump magazine they publish things and release it the steaks are false he just serves them they're not his he doesn't have a steak company he doesn't have a steak company he has a restaurant and i don't see like every other restaurant pretending that these are woody steaks or you know Trump winery
Starting point is 00:51:25 apparently biggest on the east coast he said beautiful it's beautiful I'm sure it is but he lies real casually hey the thing about seeing thousands of Muslims in New Jersey celebrate 9-11 right that to me like it
Starting point is 00:51:40 I don't like that let's see so Chiz has an article here yeah there you go the water the winery the steaks the magazine the airline there you go oh he didn't give away the steaks he charged 50 bucks a steak yeah he said that uh i thought he was giving away i think members got members got ste, like members of his club in Florida that he was at. Wait, so they are a real thing? So he gave them away? So he has Trump stakes.
Starting point is 00:52:12 He can label up a Trump stake whenever he wants and sell it, right? Which means that it's a real thing. No, no, you can't buy a Trump stake if you try to. No, you can't. You have to be at one of his facilities. Yes, and if I want to buy Kirkland brand bottled water, I have to go to Costco. It's not the same thing. That's a
Starting point is 00:52:32 store. They produce that product though. He's slapping a label on something at his store. It's no different than buying a Hilton steak. If I want a Big Mac, I gotta go to McDonald's. They're getting the beef from Australia and they're grinding any cheap cow they can up to make it. But, if Big Mac comes from McDonald's, they don't make Big Macs at McDonald's.
Starting point is 00:52:52 But, they sell Big Macs at McDonald's. I don't see the difference. Those are Trump steaks. Yeah, this just seems like a little squibbling thing that- If you wanna choose to ignore the facts like many other Trump supporters, you by all means do that. I linked an article that- He used to sell Trump steaks. It used to be you could buy a packaged Trump steak and cook it at home. And that business didn't make any money.
Starting point is 00:53:11 So now he just pretends that there's Trump steaks because they're at his restaurant. Well, it sounds like they changed the business from business to consumer to business to business, where they're selling it to even if it's just his own restaurants. That's not business to business. Can I ask this question? Yeah, his restaurant from his production facility for the steak. He doesn't have a production facility for the steak not anymore I Bet you they're viable right now. He needs to get that shit up and rolling because he's made such a big deal out of it
Starting point is 00:53:38 Yeah, oh yeah, I want billions. He makes more than Carson made off his fucking book Yeah, he needs to get all that shit rolling that might be his plan Oh yeah. Billions and billions. He makes more than Carson made off his fucking book. Yeah. He needs to get all that shit rolling. That might be his plan. He might drive. They might give him the nomination. He's like, you know what? I changed my mind.
Starting point is 00:53:54 Fuck all of you. What if he did that? What if he won the nomination? He was like, you know what? Fuck you all. Fuck you all. I mean, you can't expect me to take the presidency. Trump's stakes are taking off.
Starting point is 00:54:05 They would too. Trump's stakes would kill it right now. I'd want to try one. That's where we acquired the Sani, Aquafina, Fiji water. They're no more. It's Trump water. You're right, man. If Trump steaks, if he started selling them right now, they'd sell. He just needs to freaking go to Shopify,
Starting point is 00:54:22 take some orders, and put a label on any fucking steak he can find. He can get already cooked steak and chilies. Put a label on it and people will buy that. Get those things on QVC ASAP. I will order some Trump steaks right now. I'll pay $50 a pop, especially if they grill his face onto it. I'd love that.
Starting point is 00:54:39 His merch is expensive. I was looking at his merch shop last night because I thought Trump had would be kind of ironic. But they're like $25 a pop, and I'm not doing that. I wonder if they give them away at the rallies. I want to go to a rally. I want to see what it's like. It seems like there's a lot of energy there and a lot of excitement. It seems like a real spectacle.
Starting point is 00:55:00 I think that's the perfect word for it. I want to see it. I want to be part of that. Stadium full of maniac perfect word for it. I want to see it. I want to be part of that. Stadium full of maniacs, like, cheering for Trump. It's like, the policies Trump's outlined are not too far from where I'd like to be. But the man, he just lies a lot. And also, his demeanor is an issue. Like, that is a thing.
Starting point is 00:55:24 If the president says the wrong thing or you know like even insinuates the wrong thing he could start a war crash a stock market etc people watch what presidents say really tight maybe they change the rules of trump as a president and stop taking everything they say so seriously or maybe not and every little slight against some small country is a major issue. I don't know. I can imagine Trump getting into some trouble. Although, I don't know. We see lots of social faux pas from our politicians anyway.
Starting point is 00:55:55 I think Barack Obama touched the queen. And Joe Biden's always getting grabby with everybody's female relatives. Even if they're nine. female relatives. I mean, how... Even if they're nine. A guy like Trump, like Trump has been in the company of, you know, I'm shrieking head. I really do think he can. I feel like he's like, he's rubbed elbows with plenty of high class sophisticated people around the world for decades, right? He wouldn't be able to do the business he does. Nobody would want to work with the man if he were a real nut job in private when he's actually working. I guess, right?
Starting point is 00:56:31 I don't know. I think he would do much better than people are anticipating at just speaking and conversing with foreign leaders. He's not going to go into talking to Putin like it's an episode of The Apprentice. I think a lot of people really believe that he's going to go in there and start critiquing the decor around the fucking palace in Moscow.
Starting point is 00:56:55 Oh, what are you thinking over here? He's going to go in there like an asshole. He's not going to do that. He's going to be way more kooth than that. I think he will. He did a victory speech on, I think it was super tuesday and everyone really liked it he sounded presidential it was great and then the next day or whatever soon after that mitt romney started attacking him and his wife said be presidential right be that guy everyone loved it they received so well and he's like honey i can't i've got
Starting point is 00:57:21 incoming when you've got incoming he can't presidential. And it was like a learning moment for me. It was like, yeah, you know, maybe you do take the low road every now and then. Trump is winning America with the low road right now. Oh, the lowest of roads. The lowest road in, like, recent presidential history, you know? And she wrote in the chat here that it didn't work for rubio rubio took the low road and he's just doing worse and worse so i guess you have to have a knack for pulling off the low road yeah he admitted he regretted that he said his children were embarrassed
Starting point is 00:57:54 his wife didn't like it he wished he hadn't done it what a big thing to say who said that rubio did rubio said that to me ohley. Yeah, well, not impressive then. Oh, Jesus. If anything, I think that was really shitty of him to do. Backtrack because it's Rubio. Admitting he's wrong, manipulating the view. Little Marco and Lion 10 crew. He's weak and small, robotic and low energy, to be honest with you.
Starting point is 00:58:21 I bet his hands are really clammy. Like, I bet you need a bounty towel afterward to just wipe it off. It's like a viscous little membrane. If I could meet Trump, I'd love to take a picture of us hand to hand. I don't even care if I'm bigger or smaller.
Starting point is 00:58:37 It would just be the greatest presidential shot ever. It would be fantastic. Oh, his hand thing? Yeah, he's got this whole thing about how big his hands are and how big his cock is based on the size of his hands. Yeah. It'd be fantastic. Why? I'll tell you. Oh, his hand thing? Yeah. Oh, he's got this whole thing about how big his hands are and how big his cock is based on the size of his hands and there's no problem here. That does seem like a weird thing to even go off on a tangent about.
Starting point is 00:58:56 Like I can't imagine a way to bring that up. All right. Well, you're missing part of it. So Marco Rubio comes out and says, and look how small his hands are. For such a big guy, he's got tiny hands. And you know what they say about people with small hands? You can't trust them. Which, of course, is him taking a shot at Trump and saying that Trump's got a little dick because he's got little hands.
Starting point is 00:59:16 So Trump just comes back and says something like, and he's went after my hands. Nobody's went after my hands before ever. Look at these hands. They're beautiful. He insinuated that if I've got small hands, I must have something else must be small. Let me assure you, there's no problem. No problem. And it was just like, I didn't feel like he was taking a super low road. I didn't feel like he was being that nasty. I felt like the arena going out there and telling lies about babies being chopped up on tables while people negotiate
Starting point is 00:59:46 the price was much more of a low road than Trump just defending his dick size on stage. I mean, don't attack him for defending his dick size if you're gonna let the guy slide when he attacks Trump over dick size, right? Like, at least get them both.
Starting point is 01:00:01 Rubio, bringing it up, like, I don't know how you would even go there. Like, what was happening in his head to even make the dick reference, you know? Because Trump said that Rubio's hands were sweaty. He's like, well, while we're talking about hands, I'll tell you what I noticed about Trump. You know, he's just trying to get down in the mud with Trump and just sling it right back at him. It was that sort of thing, if I remember correctly. Yeah, she endorsed Cruz, as Ch as uh she has just pointed out and it appears carson is backing trump tomorrow his endorsement will be out tomorrow which is pretty
Starting point is 01:00:29 big it's the other outsider candidate right you know that that helps solidify things a bit for trump i think trump's gonna win florida handily and i think he's he's so close in ohio it's kind of a coin flip but i think if he takes ohio i think it's a wrap yeah i agree hop in here and not on text this is your cup of tea man you're very knowledgeable there I think it's a wrap. I agree. Chiz, hop in here and not on text. This is your cup of tea, man. You're very knowledgeable. There's a path for Kasich to be the next nominee. And I don't know if everyone's watching it. So if Trump beats Rubio in Florida, which seems likely, and Kasich wins Ohio and he's favored,
Starting point is 01:01:02 then all of a sudden Kasich passes Rubio in delegates. So if Trump doesn't get enough delegates, it becomes a brokered convention. And the establishment, whoever that is, picks who the next president or who the Republican nominee will be. And Rubio becomes the establishment's lead pick. Now, I think. Kasich. What am I saying? Am I saying it wrong?
Starting point is 01:01:22 You said Rubio. Oh, I'm sorry. So Kasich becomes the position that Rubio used to have, right? Rubio, three weeks ago, was the guy that the establishment was backing. And you can't hear me, Kyle? Can other people hear me, Taylor? No one can hear me. Hmm. And the call got wrapped.
Starting point is 01:01:49 Just one moment, please. I'm looking at... I'm checking my internet to see if I'm DDoSed. And it doesn't look like it. So I don't think I'm being DDoSed. It could be that that is the cause though, or there's something going on there. So you guys are watching me. We'll get this back.
Starting point is 01:02:37 Hang in there a minute. I think that's what happened. So I lost the call let me get rid of there so now you don't see all the late behind-the-scenes chat for a second let me try and get this back I'll try calling everybody I'll try calling everybody. Interesting. So for two of them, the call instantly failed.
Starting point is 01:03:12 And for Kyle, he didn't pick up yet. Hey, Kyle. We're back to where we were before. You still streaming, I assume? I am still streaming, which implies that i didn't get ddost yeah uh chis says his internet went down and it does not look like a ddos situation so i would imagine he'll reboot and uh recall us all and uh get the all right all right so we'll just work from there. Chiz, you're back.
Starting point is 01:03:49 Yeah, you want to call for us? Yeah, Chiz, could you call? Yeah. We'll sort this out in just a second. There we go. That also fixed... I had this terrible audio issue with, I don't know, white noise on the line, and it's only when you were hosting there. Yeah. I don't know white noise on the line and it's only when you were hosting there and yeah it's going yeah I don't know what's a czar so why don't we have Taylor
Starting point is 01:04:21 we'll get this sorted out soon I think I might be able to put Kyle on... It's mostly working. You're just small. Whatever. It'll work. When he comes in, we'll format everyone in the right boxes, and it'll be good. So, what was I going to say? Chisro Taylor in all caps
Starting point is 01:04:46 like it was to yell for him louder. And it worked. I should have wrote it in all caps. Can you guys hear me? I can't see Woody, but I'm sure it'll fix itself. Anyway, what were we talking about? Politics, I'm sure. Do you want to go to pot?
Starting point is 01:05:01 The train? The wall? I want to go to pot. So did you guys read this to train the wall i want to go to pot maga so did you guys read this article about the colorado towns uh who are loving the tax dollars but not liking some of the other problems that pop brings i didn't read that let me take a look what are some of the big problems that they're talking about um let's see uh i'm trying to to scan it and get some cool stuff. So the sales tax from pot is helping us stay afloat. But the town people don't really like the marijuana.
Starting point is 01:05:32 Colorado isn't alone, et cetera, et cetera. Do the town people not like it? Or is it like a small contingency of easily annoyed assholes? Because sometimes that's all it takes to get articles like this written. Colorado pot stores collected $29 million in marijuana taxes, with $11 million budgeted to pay for regulation, enforcement, and drug prevention. The rest went
Starting point is 01:05:52 into the city's general fund. A driver who told police he was under the influence of cannabis and alcohol caused a fiery six-car accident in Denver. He wasn't under alcohol, too. I feel the same way yeah that's um he's also wearing shoes it's been difficult but not impossible to get our arms
Starting point is 01:06:13 around what the impact is in colorado i don't know if the revenue gained will outweigh what the social costs are i'm trying to find it right school counselors are told researchers who compiled law enforcement report that so many kids are high, it's impossible to apprehend all but the most impaired. In one instance, a counselor reported that a father allowed two brothers to smoke a bowl before school. Others noticed an increase in the number of parents showing up to school stoned. At Montfort Elementary School, four 10-year-olds were caught buying and selling edible candy bars they stole from their grandparents
Starting point is 01:06:47 i've seen it i've often said i've seen it all and clearly i haven't says gates a former police officer so the as everybody sort of points out and loves to mention the um the cannabis tax is a windfall and it's great but in here it mentions a bunch of emergency room visits for people who are too high um that's just people panicking like nothing bad that's actually that's actually been down by the way since they added their 10 milligram rule uh for anything they've had less people yeah and initially when they just said go do whatever you want with edibles. And I read someone's account that there was somewhere where you could get these thousand milligram bars and stuff.
Starting point is 01:07:32 And maybe that's true, but I drove all the way across the state. And medicinally you can. Okay, medicinally you can, but recreationally is what we're talking about anyway. So it's completely immaterial what's on the medicinal side. I mean, it has nothing to do with... You know what's kind of horseshit in this article is they have this thing that says uh so a driver who told police he's under the influence of cannabis and alcohol that same one in colorado about 20 of 2014 traffic fatalities involved drivers who tested positive for cannabis cannabis stays in your system for like a month plus that's like if you got pulled
Starting point is 01:07:59 over for rear-ending someone and they tested you and they could tell that you drank like a six pack three weeks ago they'd be like oh dui that's not exactly true sorry i i just the only reason that is how i have uh a little bit of expertise in this because i follow the ufc so tight and um there are some fighters who are just known to be on cannabis all the time but because their body fat is low and they're so active it gets out of their system in two to three days yeah it's stored in lipids right so the heavier you are the more pro-athlete look i admit that these guys are in the extreme end of the scale right they've got so little body fat and they work so hard just one second but also not everybody is on the other end of the month and a half scale right like There might be a lot of active people.
Starting point is 01:08:46 Three weeks is the average. It's even bigger than that. Because you're taking a subsection of the population, not the whole population. We're talking about pot smokers' fat lipid levels. This is the guy who's cramming a bag of Doritos every night. He's not going to burn it. I pointed this out to Woody the other day. in a bag of Doritos every night. He's not going to burn.
Starting point is 01:09:02 I pointed this out to Woody the other day. Actually, studies show that you're less likely to gain weight if you're a constant user. And I said, with that, look at anecdotal evidence. Do you see many super obese pot smokers that do it on the daily? When I picture a pot smoker in my head, like remember the guy, what was his name? Social strain?
Starting point is 01:09:22 Strain Central. Strain Central, right? Yeah, yeah. So Josh from Strain Central. Josh. Yeah, yeah. So Josh from Strain Central. He was on the show. He is in my head what I think of as a pot smoker. Or for those of us that were there, Kyle, remember the guy when you were like,
Starting point is 01:09:33 you look like you know where to score weed at paintball? That guy wasn't fat. Like when I think of a pot smoker, I think of a guy who, for some reason, is a little taller than average and thin and maybe into extreme sports? Could be. Yeah, like sand sports.
Starting point is 01:09:48 And not necessarily – Things are rad. I don't actually – and I'm not going there. But I don't think of them all as extreme athletes. But, yeah, I do think of them as kind of thin and looking good with clothes on. Like that to me is – if their hygiene was better. That's a stereotypical pothead in my head. I only think of – I know that kind of pothead
Starting point is 01:10:06 i have friends who have been that kind of pothead with where they honestly would skip meals sometimes where we'd like go to kidoba after class in college or something like you're not getting a burrito man he's like no dude i'm gonna pick up some you know pick up an eight in a little bit it's like all right well that's fucking weird like you're gonna go spend more money on pot that you're already high instead of just getting a burrito and eating like a human being yeah of pothead that i also knew where they're not smoking all day every day but they smoke pretty much every day at least once and they would be heavy no problem because they just have their one daily smoke they're not blowing all their money on pot and then they just feast on pizza
Starting point is 01:10:43 or wings or something that's not that great for you, as opposed to the really skinny ones who are just blowing all of their money on pot. And that's like their modus operandi. Like, everything is to get high. And it's like, it's a weird track to watch someone rationalize their way down that rabbit hole, because counterculture has gone so far in favor of weed that now tons of people can't see there are any problems with it ever and so they just take every opportunity to get as high as possible all the time that's always been there's two things i want to point out one i'm for recreational marijuana legalized right like sometimes people get the wrong idea because i'm not like a hundred percent on board with
Starting point is 01:11:22 everybody 24 blazing it you know um but in terms of whether it's the right call in terms of prohibition or not why are you laughing at me because i was laughing at 24 blaze it they made such a deal on the big deal on the subreddit i can't stop it now but uh um like i'm not seven blaze it is that 24 by seven blaze it thank you thank you am i am i saying it wrong is 24x7 Blaze It. 24x7 Blaze It. Thank you. Am I saying it wrong? Is that what's so funny? 24x7. And apparently you said
Starting point is 01:11:53 24x7 420 Blaze It. Which is like the most... Somebody commented in the subreddit that thing that Steve Buscemi where he's like Hello, hello kids. That's kind of what you were like. You know, 24x7, smoking all the pots, blazing all the reefers, smoking that devil's lettuce. I've been pretty consistent on this.
Starting point is 01:12:13 I'm for it, but I'm definitely on the outside of this. I'm not pretending to be an actual pothead. But so I'm for it in terms of like should you know, should we have a modern day prohibition and stuff? No, I think that there's more bad that happens from enforcing these laws than good that happens from cutting back on pot use. But one, I get a little irritated at the people who act like pot is like a health drug. Like oh yeah, it's kind of like celery, you know, and it's a negative calorie. It makes you better.
Starting point is 01:12:40 No cap. Yeah, yeah, no, no. Chill, bro. It's not actually great for you. Oh, jeez, no, no. Chill, bro. It's not actually great for you. Oh, cheers and your benefits. And then I was going to say something else. Oh, oh, I've noticed a trend. And I don't know if it's an actual trend or it's just my awareness of something that hasn't changed at all. But it seems like people are going towards higher concentrates. Like I see things online where they're like, I figured out how to make a dab or, you know, I figured out a wax thing. Like we've made, I talked to a person who said that the butter they made, I guess that's how you make like edibles.
Starting point is 01:13:18 Like you first you get it in the butter and then use the butter to cook. I'm not even sure. But the butter they made was so concentrated and so effective that uh it was a point of pride for him or her and uh i i've just noticed like an intensification of how people how some people are smoking it's not exactly like it was before where like a joiner bowl was the only way people really did it and I don't know if that's bad I don't think there's anything wrong with it at all
Starting point is 01:13:49 drink all the alcohol you want all the marijuana you want nothing wrong with that speaking of alcohol if you're anything like us then you know exactly what you like and how you like it except when you're in the wine aisle tannins and terroirs mean nothing to you unless you happen to be some fancy pants professional sommelier well with Club W the guessing game is over. Club W is the world's only
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Starting point is 01:14:35 listeners fifty percent off your first order when you go to Club W dot com slash pka fifty. Wine should be fun not pretentious. Start learning as you drink at Club W dot com slash pka 50 wine should be fun not pretentious start learning as you drink at club w.com slash pka 50 you'll even get 50 off your first order i don't think i'm doing 50 i don't know you're not but dude check out the um like seriously while you're watching this go open up a fresh tab and check out the club w questions because it's pretty cool like they don't ask you hey do you want a rosé or a tanninite i don't even know my wine they're like hey do you like your coffee black or with sugar you know do you like
Starting point is 01:15:11 uh you know what kind of syrup do you like your steak medium rare or uh you know medium well right you know does a perfectly grilled steak taste a little bit like the grill or whatever like the questions are questions that non-wine people can ask. They don't ask you if you want it dry. I don't know what the fuck dry wine is. I keep saying this. It's gross is what it is. Unless you get the right kind, apparently. It's obviously a liquid.
Starting point is 01:15:36 I hear dry wine, I expect something powdered. No. Turns out that's not what dry wine is. But the questions are geared toward people who have no idea what it is. So go check Club W. Go check out Club W. At the questions are geared toward people who have no idea what it is. So go check them out. What is it? Club W?
Starting point is 01:15:47 Go check out Club W. At the very least, go through the questions, and I think you'll find them interesting. There has to be something about wine to figure out, kind of like cigars, you know, where it's like there has to be a reason that so many people are super into this, and I'm just missing it, you know? Like cigars, every time I've smoked a huge cigar if i get i get halfway through and it's
Starting point is 01:16:08 like oh my god like this is like it's starting to get gross kind of an endeavor now wines i bet there's a ton of fucking good ones out there that you just need someone to point out the right one instead of just going to the wine section and being like oh cabernet sauvignon well this there's a six dollar bottle and there's one that's $25. I'm going with the $6 bottle. When you get older, you have these family friends. I really like the husband, Jackie's lifetime friends with the wife and our kids get along. And that guy's super into making wine. He has his own wine basement thing and his own great press and stuff like that. And every year he makes it. I hate 90% of it.
Starting point is 01:16:47 But he's like, you know what? This is the one that you'll like. Because he's like a sommelier. Sommelier. I'm sure that's it. Do you know what it really is? It's close to that. Yeah, it's sommelier.
Starting point is 01:17:02 That's what the word is. Screw you. It's not. I don't believe you. It's close to that. Yeah, it's Somalia. That's what the word is screw you. It's not I don't believe you Somalia. There's there is a Documentary on Netflix about Somalia Somalia's I have a feeling you have a twist on it to make me look foolish No, no look it up. Let me it sounds just like the people who would pirate your sailboat Somalia Somalia, let's see so mm e L I er Pirate your sailboat. Sommelier. Sommelier. Let's see.
Starting point is 01:17:27 S-O-M-M-E-L-I-E-R. A sommelier or wine steward is a trained and knowledgeable wine professional. Normally, dot, dot, dot. And that's where I have to actually click on the Wikipedia article. Okay. I'm going to play the thing. Sommelier. Sommelier. Sommelier.elier sommelier sommelier sommelier so we were very close very close don't appreciate you co-opting my success here though you know
Starting point is 01:17:58 you're like is it a samsonite oh something like that and then i say it and you're like oh yeah sommelier well let's see how close we got in my head i got you 90 of the the way there and then i took us the last 10 and and and you know it's just like that south park episode South Park episode where Jimmy comes up with that really funny joke. And then Cartman re-remembers it every time of him giving Jimmy the idea to come up with it. And then at the end, Cartman really thinks that he came up with it. That's funny. Yeah, but that's probably a cool service.
Starting point is 01:18:38 I'm going to check out Club W. See if maybe there's a kind of wine I like. I'd like to find a red wine that I like, because I feel like that's fancier. I think Kyle was somewhat goofing when he was like, drink all the alcohol, smoke all the pot, you know, until they run out of fish or whatever. But where do you stand on this?
Starting point is 01:18:57 Do you think it's a dangerous trend, like wax and edibles and what is the dab is becoming like a more popular thing in what way it's kind of like how you can drink beer or you could drink whiskey you know it's the same thing in there there's booze in there ethanol alcohol but the effects of it are going to be drastically different just because one is so much more concentrated like It's a different world because if you drink a fuck ton of rum that's 90 proof or something, you could
Starting point is 01:19:30 get alcohol poisoning and die if you drank too much. If you smoke way too much pot in the form of wax or dabs or whatever the correct nomenclature is, you're not going to die, but you will have a full-on panic attack. I could argue it's safer, if anything. If you're smoking higher concentrated weed or well, dab a vapor it's not even smoke you're burning but if you're
Starting point is 01:19:49 smoking higher concentrated you know bud for example then you have to smoke less so you're smoking less of the carcinogenic properties of burning those leaves and stuff like that whereas before at four percent you have to go through like several ounces of weed to get where you'd want to so you're burning less carcinogenic properties, which are the bad parts of burning marijuana. I'm not an expert. Go ahead. Okay, and Chiz makes a good point.
Starting point is 01:20:14 But in terms of the THC consumption, right? Like if you had a population that tended to drink beer, and then you had another population that tended to drink vodka, I bet the vodka population would have more alcohol related problems agreed yeah yeah but what are the can you give me several examples of the marijuana related problems i know because one is just getting to the end goal quicker you know if the equivalency let's just use basic terms i have to smoke one joint of the good stuff and five joints of the bad stuff my end goal is to get to a certain level of highness i just feel like do that i think that's fine but it's also like
Starting point is 01:20:49 see this is my rationale for is that if someone starts drinking and it's their first time drinking do you hand them you know two fingers of mccallan 18 scotch whiskey or do you give them a bud light you give them a bud light because you need them to be able to feel that feeling as it's going on and being like, okay, I will have another can of this, drink it, getting drunk a little slowly. Way better that than, oh, I drank way too much of this whiskey. Oh, now I'm fucked. Sure, if the argument is getting someone into it, yeah, you shouldn't hit it out. You shouldn't get into a Formula One race car if that's what you're going to learn to drive on.
Starting point is 01:21:23 I agree with that. But as far as a daily user, there's really no difference as far as what's bad for you as opposed to something like alcohol where you do get a physical dependency on it and you can't actually overdose and damage your liver severely is jizz i feel like it's i don't i don't know how to measure how high you are but let's pretend there was a blood alcohol content equivalent you're much more likely to overshoot what you would have other hit otherwise hit with less potent stuff but when when you hit but the worst case scenario is all right i'm having a bad time right now it's not like alcohol that's the worst case scenario that night and i agree with you it's not the worst
Starting point is 01:22:03 thing right maybe you get too much anxiety you feel paranoid you call the police on yourself or something you know like yeah people will have a full on panic attack sometimes if they're not used to it it's not just a joke thing like if you see someone who's not used to pot and they make way too much wax or some of that crazy intense shit it's not just like oh
Starting point is 01:22:19 guys I'm a little too high right now maybe I can't come out to the bars with you it's like some of those people like go ghost white and are non-functional for hours. So for that night, they might have a horrible experience. But if it's really easy to get to that level consistently, then
Starting point is 01:22:36 I just don't know what the long-term effects are of using more THC on a regular basis. Are they going to have that little memory loss thing that sometimes people get? Are they going to, I don't know. Like I said, it's like using vodka. You're much more, you can so easily hit the far side of your goal that perhaps it's a negative thing. And the tolerance, just to kind of piggyback on the point that Woody is making on tolerance, just like alcohol, if you get into drinking
Starting point is 01:23:06 a ton of beer all the time and getting drunk on that all the time, it's going to take you way longer to build up your tolerance on that than it is if you're just crushing vodka every day and eventually your body's just like, oh, well, that's one pint of vodka. That's assuming you're having the same quantities of these things. With marijuana, you're going to smoke a little
Starting point is 01:23:22 because you have such high... What you're smoking is so high. That's not necessarily true. I know enough people that moved over to wax and those kinds of pot products because they're like, Oh, we're going to save money. Like it's way more expensive, but we'll smoke like one hit instead of a whole blunt. And what inevitably happens is they take one hit of that thing. They're just as high as they were. They're at their peak. And then they're like, let's take another one. You know, let's push the limit. And eventually their tolerance is so out of whack that they need those intense kinds of pot to actually get high.
Starting point is 01:23:52 Like smoking just like a doobie like you see in a movie from the 70s, they just laugh at that and be like, yeah, I want to get high. That wouldn't even – Sure, that's just tolerance. But they could take a tolerance break for two weeks and die. The argument – yeah, what Kyle said too. It's not that hard to reset that. But the argument was the adverse effects of starting out so high or just consuming the super high potency stuff.
Starting point is 01:24:12 The negative effect I keep coming back to is what is that negative effect? Oh, their tolerance is high? Big deal. Take a break. Come back to it. You're not going to kill yourself. Like I said, you're smoking less carcinogenic properties because you're starting out out the gate smoking more higher quality stuff
Starting point is 01:24:26 yeah the carcinogenic stuff is a good point because you're dodging some of them like you know but i also think that taylor and i are right on this notion that you're gonna build up your tolerance if it's so easy to consume a large amount then you're more likely to consume more than if it was hard or slow. That comes down to an opinion. What it comes down to is too much of anything is a bad thing, whether it's ice cream, alcohol, or marijuana.
Starting point is 01:24:57 If you're a fool, you're going to end up in a bad state no matter what your drug of choice is, whether it's hot wings or heroin um it's all about responsible use and literally with anything and everything you could responsibly use heroin i'm sure it could be done right but nobody's really able to and to a lesser extent not there aren't nearly as many people who aren't able to use marijuana responsibly or semi-responsibly you know what i mean that it's it's a small percentage of i think the marijuana users who get into that uh that inevitable like worm uh uh wormhole or whatever of just higher and higher tolerance more and more high bigger high and oh double it triple it quadruple it until their tolerance is outrageous
Starting point is 01:25:40 and they're literally smoking all day every day just to feel normal i think for the most part you're right with that yeah it's most people aren't gonna fall into that. Yeah. But some do. Overall, yeah, I agree with you Chiz. Yeah, the people that smoke daily do take tolerance breaks to reset that. The positives far and wide outweigh the negatives, I think, of marijuana legalization. Those cartels down there, anything that makes that the herd sim seems like a good thing.
Starting point is 01:26:03 If there's a modern-day, you know, group of people that we can all agree are awful, it's those Mexican drug cartels down there anything that makes that the heard some seems like a good thing if there's a modern day you know group of people that we can all agree or awful it's it's this is Mexican drug cartels so I got that Casper mattress what I was it two weeks ago I I'm gonna be honest I swear to God I would say is that weren't true I'm getting such good quality sleep that my sleep schedule is better than it's ever been I'll sleep for maybe seven hours on this thing it feels like ten hours on my old mattress. I had a habit of sleeping in and sleeping until noon sometimes because I would wake up and not feel rested. But I
Starting point is 01:26:34 got to say, I really do like my Casper mattress. I got a king-size mattress, which was an upgrade for me. And it was really cool. It comes rolled up in a box, much smaller than you would think, heavy in style. But I put it where it was supposed to go, and I slowly start cutting the box and cutting the wrapper until I got to that crucial point where it had enough power to rip itself from its own enclosure. So I just stood back and watched. I wish you videotaped it. How fast did it go? Fast.
Starting point is 01:27:01 I didn't record it because Kitty made it out to be this thing where I should do it a day in advance and let it unfurl overnight because she had a dog bed that was memory foam, and it was like that. It took a long time for it to poof up. But this thing unraveled like one of those snake firecrackers that just continues to grow and grow and grow, ripped all this heavy-duty plastic wrapping off of it, and there it was. And I got to say, it really is a better quality sleep. So Casper mattresses are obsessively engineered American made mattresses at a shockingly
Starting point is 01:27:34 fair price. And now you can get $50 toward any mattress purchase by going to casper.com slash pka and using code pka. That's what I did. I got 50 bucks off. Listen, you spend about a third of your life sleeping. Let's make sure that you're doing it on a good mattress. Casper brings together two comfy technologies at the same time for better nights and brighter days. Latex foam and memory foam combined. So they've got just the right sink, just the right feel. No bounce no matter how you sleep. That's what I really like. I get up sometimes in the night. My girlfriend usually wakes up before I do.
Starting point is 01:28:10 We always wake each other up in a standard mattress, but there really isn't much motion transfer. I don't even notice when she gets up. Plus the size probably helps too. Have you done that thing where you put a glass of water on it and you try and move it? I've had stuff on the bed that would normally topple over on a regular bed. I think it's so risky as to get a glass of wine. If you're sleeping on a full size or a queen size now,
Starting point is 01:28:30 stop being a fucking peasant. Call up Casper Mattress and upgrade. Back me up on this, Kyle. I love it. I love it so much. There's so much more room. And the little dog, it has its own place in the bed. The dog loves it.
Starting point is 01:28:44 What's he been saying? What's he been saying? Oh number one I love a new mattress new mattress is wonderful before I needed a boost to get into bed but now I can just hop what the fuck what's the line? that's uh that's fee that's fee's voice yeah the dog doesn't need a boost because
Starting point is 01:29:04 he didn't buy a bed frame for it yet. So this awesome mattress is sitting on the ground. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the little wiener dog is able to like, huzzah! And like hop right up. Which to her is like a monumental effort to jump this high. But they've got a risk-free trial
Starting point is 01:29:21 and return policy. They'll deliver it straight to you and you can get 100 days if you're not happy. They'll pick it right back up. At the store, maybe you'll get a minute or two to try out the mattress, but with Casper, like I said, you get 100 days to actually sleep on the thing. It's $500 for a twin size mattress, $950 for a king size mattress. Comparing that to industry averages, that's an outstanding price point. So get $50 towards any mattress purchase by going to casper.com slash pka and using code pka. You will definitely get a better night's sleep.
Starting point is 01:29:50 I guarantee it. So I saw an article on Live Science. I think Chiz might have linked it. Did you read the one about magic mushrooms altering your personality? Mm-hmm. Yeah. So apparently, I so don't know my drugs very well are mushrooms they're not lsd right that's no no shrooms are just shrooms right shrooms are toxic for you and
Starting point is 01:30:15 that's what causes you to hallucinate okay thank you so is alcohol yeah yeah so but apparently taking shrooms even once altered people's personality for an extended period of time at least 14 months is what the article says it makes them more open and open is a psychological term referring to an appreciation for new experiences people who are more open tend to have broad imaginations, value emotion, art, and curiosity. That kind of burned in with me. I want to say it twice. People who are open tend to have broad imaginations and value emotion, art, and curiosity. You know what other personality trait it causes is it makes it so that for that full 12 months, they will not stop telling everyone they meet that they have changed recently and that ever ever since they did shrooms man you've just got to try it like the whole world opens up differently like i don't even
Starting point is 01:31:08 i don't even think the same man like that's the biggest personality change is the subtle i do this kind of drug and i'm holier than you and i see things that you can't you cog it's related to veganism in some way or crossfit it's gotta be you know yeah i would uh i would be up for trying mushrooms. That sounds interesting. It scares me. I'm afraid that – I would want a lot.
Starting point is 01:31:31 That scares me too. That scares me. I don't know if I want a personality change. So here's the deal. Part of me is like I think part of the reason, say, Joe Rogan is so successful is that he has that built into his personality. I don't know if it's shrooms related or not, but that like appreciation for new ideas, even if they're crazy conspiracies,
Starting point is 01:31:52 that openness, right, is a big part of who he is and it makes him more interesting to have. I feel like if you tell me 100 ideas, 90 of them are just hit by my bullshit filter, right? Whereas if you tell a guy who's done mushrooms, maybe only half of them get filtered out to do bullshit. And they're just appreciative of art and it changes who they are. On the other hand, I don't know. I kind of feel like I'm doing well right now. Why would you mess with that? Yeah. Why take a bunch of ayahuasca
Starting point is 01:32:23 and risk going crazy and ruining what you've made for yourself? Suddenly you're wearing a sandwich board screaming about how the end is nigh when you could be a multimillionaire living in a compound off a Minecraft server. Maybe that's the thing that sends you off the edge is that little bit of ayahuasca. I don't know though. I don't know. A lot of those things freak me out. Especially DMT. That's the one I know the least about.
Starting point is 01:32:48 I know your brain produces it when you're dreaming. Oh, well, if it's natural, it's safe. Yeah, yeah. Oh, don't you love that? I had one friend in high school who got super into DMT, saying that it was like opening his mind and that he, you know, every time he would do it, he would go to the moon and he would see this alien and he would have conversations with him
Starting point is 01:33:08 about the world and about this and that. And every time I'd be like, wow, what did he tell you, man? He'd be like, I don't remember, but it just changed me inside. And it's like, wow. You know, so it's like exactly the same kind of thing I could say after the first time I saw The Return of the King, you know, kind of changed me a little bit, made me happy. But at the end of the day, not that fucking big a deal maybe um i don't know that that kind of stuff is i feel like
Starting point is 01:33:30 they try and make it seem like they're way more impactful positively than they are maybe or maybe i'm just missing the boat and these hallucinogens are hugely effective at opening your mind let's do some hallucinogens stop being freaks me out let's get some acid let's do some acid let's get one the inputs. Let's get some acid. Let's do some acid. Let's get one of those sensory deprivation chambers. Get in there and completely blank out so we're just going on some trip throughout our own insecurities
Starting point is 01:33:54 and mental issues and we go into this terrifying realm within ourselves. Should we live stream or DMT? Fuck yes! We could combine that with the next survival trip in the woods. How long does it last? Uh, like 12 hours.
Starting point is 01:34:12 8 to 12 hours. Well that's a long time! DMT is about 5 to 15 minutes. No, no, I'm talking about LSD. Oh, LSD, yeah. 12 hours. The problem is, it might last 5 to 15 minutes, but you're not aware of time. It could last days in your own head is the issue.
Starting point is 01:34:28 So anytime that argument is brought up, it's like, yeah, that's great, but it feels like I've been here for a month. That's kind of what it feels like. No, you should do that and live stream it so you can capture every time you shit your pants while you're on ayahuasca. Wait, is that a thing that happens? On ayahuasca, you'll throw up and shit yourself. It's pretty common. These are not are not desirable people still do that for fun yeah robin robin quivers tells the story of traveling to this uh you know this man in the jungle there and some hut or some shit and and going through the ayahuasca uh ceremony and drinking it and how it made her
Starting point is 01:35:01 violently ill and the whole thing she described the taste and the look and it was it sounded like a really terrible experience of course howard's the opposite he's like a germaphobe like xenophobe i wouldn't call him xenophobe but terribly a bit agoraphobe he's terrified of travel he would he's not going to leave the country ever um and uh and she's the opposite she's the one who like you know goes out in the jungle does ayahuasca but she had a very awful experience doing that sort of thing. She had a one-night stand and did anal in a bathroom. And bent over her sink, actually, in her apartment. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:35:36 So I remember Howard was helping her sell her book, and Howard expertly read that part to us over the radio. Yeah, I'm very familiar with that story. So, good on her. So I made a phone call yesterday. A prank call, some might say. I was being a little silly, I suppose. But Chiz got on the line with me.
Starting point is 01:36:01 Because I feel like I really need an audience when I do these things. It's really awkward when it's just me and them because like I feel so awkward doing it because there's not anyone for me to entertain that's present yeah you don't know what's hitting and what's missing like it could be working in your head and then nobody else thinks it works maybe I don't know having Chiz there it you know I just felt like my the gears were spinning a little faster yeah you need someone to impress, you know? It honestly is that. I need somebody to play off of and play up to.
Starting point is 01:36:30 I need an audience to please. And you recorded and edited this prank call, and we're ready to play it for our crowd now, right? We certainly did. All right, so I have... What version will you be listening to? The edited version. Okay. There's about two extra minutes on Kyle's version.
Starting point is 01:36:43 Hey, I like that part. Taylor, are you queued up at zero? I don't have the link. Could you relink it for me? I don't have the link either. Oh. There, thank you. Now I've got it. Wow, 52 megs? Jesus.
Starting point is 01:37:00 Give me 11 hours. It's because he put it in a wave instead of an mp3. Let me see if I can upload it it in a wave instead of an MP3. Let me see if I can upload it somewhere. My file's an MP3. Oh, who edited it? Who edited it? So I sent Chiz an MP3 that had a little extra stuff on it that I thought was kind of funny
Starting point is 01:37:16 but wasn't part of the prank phone call. And so he re-edits that out of it and sends it to you in a wave file. You made a wave. Silly Chiz. There's an extra 30% that is Kyle trying to get his Skype to operate. Yeah, but I'm being funny.
Starting point is 01:37:33 Charming and clever. It looks like it's going to take a second. What does your download time say? Three minutes. Four minutes. Mine does too. Just take down to three. Did that cancel everyone's are just mine
Starting point is 01:37:49 no no I'm one less person leeching off him because I have it already alright so while that rolls and let me just tell everyone about our tried and true sponsor dollar shave club you guys I figured it out I've discovered the key to an amazing shave. It's simple. Excuse me. That's exactly what dollarshaveclub.com does and why I'm a proud member like millions of others.
Starting point is 01:38:13 Dollarshaveclub.com slash pka delivers amazing razors right to my door for a third of the price of those greedy razor corporations charge. Both my wallet and my face finally get some relief. Joining dollarshaveclub.com means you can afford to shave with a fresh blade anytime you want which feels fantastic and for the smoothest shave ever use the fresh dollar shave club blade with their doctor carver shave butter that stuff really is great I mentioned a few times before but
Starting point is 01:38:41 the biggest thing to me is that isn't like a shaving cream that foams up like white and foamy so you can't really even see your face anymore. It's clear so you can actually see the hair on your face that you're slicing off with a razor blade, which seems like a good idea. It's not your average shave cream. It has high quality ingredients that make your skin feel soft, smooth, and moisturized. Your blade will just glide gently across your
Starting point is 01:39:05 skin. So if you want the most amazing shave possible, take it from me. Use a fresh Dollar Shave Club blade and Dr. Carver's Shave Butter. Two reasons to join dollarshaveclub.com slash pka today. I feel like between our mattress sponsor, our wine sponsor and our shaving sponsor, we are really helping people get some action here. We're going to get a marijuana sponsor. We're gonna get a marijuana sponsor. We're working on it. Don't worry.
Starting point is 01:39:27 I just, I mean, God, if you show up, if you shave well with a good mattress and a good bottle of wine, you're gonna have a good night. Oh, let's talk about the knives a little bit while that download goes. So some of you are probably wondering what's going on with the PK knives. This isn't one of the PK knives.
Starting point is 01:39:44 This is just my little knife. Our knives are better that we're going to do. So you've got a link there, I think. It's the CRKT Ripple. I think that's the one we've chosen for the PK branded knife. We are going to have, I believe, about 100 of those. So it's pretty limited quality. We're going to have them laser engraved with our emblem and logo and all that stuff.
Starting point is 01:40:03 And we're definitely going to get a big price break for a fan. So I think it's a $70, uh, retail knife on their site. And, uh, we're definitely going to charge less than that for, uh,
Starting point is 01:40:13 the knives that we laser engrave and, uh, and do the limited run for the fans. Yeah. We don't have currently have, um, everything set up to order. Uh,
Starting point is 01:40:21 we, yeah, they just have gotten the knives and stop. That's why that's the step. That's where we are now. So, they just have gotten the knives in stock. That's where we are now. So we're about to move forward with getting them going. And I would say within a week or two, we'll be ready to point you guys in the direction of
Starting point is 01:40:34 an Etsy store or something like that. A webpage that you can go and purchase these. It's going to be really cool. We all looked at the knives that we liked and I think we all agreed that this is the coolest one. It looks cooler than I thought it would be. It. We all looked at the knives that we liked, and I think we all agreed that this is the coolest one. Yeah, it looks cooler than I thought it would be, honestly. It looks like a real, legit knife. It is.
Starting point is 01:40:49 It's a $70 knife that we're going to sell for a big price break off that, a significant price break. And we looked at everything in the lineup. I'm kind of a knife guy. I'm sure there are knife guys out there with their $400 bench maids who'd consider me a lightweight, but I've been into this for a year or so now. And this is something I would love to have in my pocket and it's going to be engraved with
Starting point is 01:41:09 i think the engraving is going to be pka with the pill like you guys know the logo and um uh we're going to get that on the engraved into the knife and it's going to be you know the same knife but cheaper with the pka engraving and i'm pretty excited that it's happening like in real life so yeah and um oh and the hot sauce let me go over that because that'll only take a minute and uh I've virtually got the thing downloaded now um so I'm going to Wings of Redemption's house uh tomorrow did I mention that early in the show yeah I think we maybe did oh I guess I did so no I need to go over that we could go over the whole thing again though though. Yeah, let's just do it again. Where are you headed tomorrow?
Starting point is 01:41:46 Are you bringing anything cool? All right, so I have the audio queued at zero. I don't know if Taylor has his downloaded yet. I'm very close. Oh, this is nice. The chat is hearing us talk about the knife, and it has positive reviews. The people who have it already are like, yeah. Add to group call.
Starting point is 01:42:04 Awesome. Perfection. Stop it. about the knife and it has positive reviews the people who have it already are like yeah and group call awesome perfection stop it whoever's playing it through their speakers stop you're doing it wrong Taylor I've got it all right are you is he gonna play through your speakers anymore or are you all set? All set. Ready, set, play. Add to group call. Perfection! Hey, do you guys have DVDs? Yes, we do. We have DVDs, VHSes, toys, lubrication. We have an arcade, mail enhancements.
Starting point is 01:42:58 Pretty much everything you need for your triple X play. I wanted to know if you had a couple of DVDs that I'm looking for. Do you know the name of the DVD and the production company? Well I definitely, so I'm looking for like belly button fucking porn like when they when they get like a big fat chick and you know they actually fuck a belly button. You sure? Is there any way you can search by title because like I got that there's big beautiful belly button banging bitches. There's uh... I can tell you have no belly-button fucking movies. There's, you never know. Sometimes it's in there, and, you know,
Starting point is 01:43:29 there'll be some regular shit, but they'll, you know, they'll fuck a belly-button out of nowhere. There'll be Lent-filled holes, an erotic journey, uh, super-obese sluts, volume nine, The Reckoning. Nah, because I only have a, uh,
Starting point is 01:43:42 small BBW section. Shit. Hold for one second. Just hold for one second. I don't know how much more I can hold out. I need my DVDs. He's got VHS too. That'd be nice. That'd be good. Go old school with that shit. Mess up the tracking a little on purpose.
Starting point is 01:44:04 Yes sir, may I help you sir? Uh, am I still talking to the uh the southern knights video yes absolutely all right so the last guy couldn't find the videos i was looking for i was looking for some belly button fucking porn um so i had a few titles here i guess maybe you could search them for me there's um crisco cunts 3 the fourth hole incursion super obese sluts volume 9 the reckoning lint-filled holes and erotic journey that's my favorite that's an old one that one goes back he said y'all had the VHS's got vhs's but none of those baby i don't i know for a fact i don't have any uh belly button i might be able to look in my boardroom for you yeah yeah see what you can get for me see if i really want big beautiful belly button banging bitches that's that goes back to 1995 and if y'all
Starting point is 01:45:02 could get that on vhs my my daddy had, and I would sneak that out of his closet, and forevermore, that is what I'm into. Okay. What's the name of it again? Big, beautiful, belly button banging bitches. Big, beautiful, belly button? Banging bitches. The six six bees daddy always called it and uh lent field holes and erotic journey and now if y'all can get them on vhs i'll i'll pay whatever it takes oh i can't get them on vhs baby i think my my my uncle said he's got a way that you can convert the DVD over to the VHS.
Starting point is 01:45:46 So we just be doing that. That'll be all. Yeah, no. No, we can't get VHS anymore. Yeah, I'll just get the DVD and then I'll convert it myself. Because I like that old school feel. I like to get the tracking and mess it up a little so you can't really see real well. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:46:02 Yeah. Now, I'll check these and give you your name and number, and if I can get them, I will call you back. My name is Lefty. Lefty Purcell. That's P-U-R-S-E-L-L-L. Okay, phone number? You can call me back at 706-356-44.
Starting point is 01:46:23 Hell no. Oh, my God. Okay. I'll see what I can find. Thank you very much man you scour the internet for that bellybutton fucking point cuz I'm gonna tell you I ain't been able to find that I go to them trade shows you know you running some weird people there when you go there I don't like that they be into some weird shit you know I don't I don't like to be around no weird people and all kind of nastiness homosexuals and furries and tarot card readers and Democrats Democrats I don't think I can co-sign that. Democrats.
Starting point is 01:47:09 Republicans. She was like, I don't think we have any belly button fucking... Well, I'm glad you found another way to tie it in. Yeah, five shows in a row. Belly button fucking. I think we need to get a meme and a t-shirt for that. I want the t-shirt to have like where your belly button would be under the shirt.
Starting point is 01:47:31 Put a hole right there and somehow work that into the design of the shirt. Make it say like fourth input here or something like that. I don't know. So you want something that would get rejected for being a factory irregular to be the shirt that we sell. Just a hole in the middle. I want you to just superimpose a vagina right where the belly button goes or something like that. being a factory irregular to be the shirt that we sell. It's just a hole in the middle. I want you to just superimpose a vagina right where the belly button goes or something like that, or make it say stick it here. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:47:52 His and hers belly button holes. Oh, is there gay belly button fucking now? That's a good question. Well, we're not going to look that up again, because if we do this again, then we're teetering on low class here. A little low brow for you, is that it? Yes. look that up again because if we do this again then we're teetering on low class here. A little low brow for you, is that it? Yes.
Starting point is 01:48:12 We are on the razor's edge of class and we are about to fall into that chasm of garbage again. I think I'm going to do a few more of those next week. I've got a few more little ideas. I had to work bellybutton fucking in. But I need an audience when I do them so I've got to get one of you guys on there with me because I've tried it before by myself, and I never go far enough. It usually ends up being just a polite conversation.
Starting point is 01:48:31 You're like, whoa, you're selling dogs, right? Well, yeah, yeah, I'm selling some dogs. Oh, well, how many are you interested in getting rid of? Wow, that sounds really great. That's really nice of you to go out of your way. You know what? You have an excellent day. You need to revisit the puppy stomping. I was going to ask for you to dry clean my KKK hood,
Starting point is 01:48:51 but now that I'm talking to you for real, you seem nice. I'll tell you what I'll do. I spitballed off the top of my head. You mentioned KKK. It would be funny to call a city hall and try to get a permit for a KKK cross burning somewhere. I think that would be funny to call a city hall and try to get a permit for a KKK cross burning somewhere. I think that would be funny. It would be funny to get a KKK
Starting point is 01:49:08 outfit and vlog it as you try to get it dry cleaned. That's been done. Someone did that. He caught an ass woman. Under the sun. Yeah, it's dangerous dressing up as a Klansman. You wouldn't be
Starting point is 01:49:23 wearing it. You'd just be getting it dry cleaned. I don't want any part of that. No. No. That's asking for trouble. Yeah, yeah. And I think that if you had a Nazi uniform, I feel like even if someone took offense, you could be like, oh, I'm going to play.
Starting point is 01:49:39 But if you've got a Klansman who puts on robes and says Grand Wizard on there or some shit, I got a feeling, I don't know how to put this, but the kind of person who might take offense to such a thing might be difficult to talk down and reason with once they've seen that you're a Klansman anyway. That one black guy in the NHL, we got to get him. It seems like a real recipe for an ass-whopping. Yeah, not a good idea.
Starting point is 01:50:04 That's on par with those fake pranks. Like, you kind of deserve what's coming at that point. So, let's talk about some TV. We can either go Game of Thrones. I know it's a little early. I know it's a little early. I don't want to discuss the trailer. I didn't watch it.
Starting point is 01:50:17 I hear it's full of spoilers. I didn't either. I don't want to watch that one. I've heard it's very spoilerific. I actually did watch it, but it just caught me at the wrong time. I was working late. It was like 5 a.m., and I don't know what I saw. just caught me at the wrong time. I was working late. It was like 5 a.m., and I don't know what I saw. I think it's better that way.
Starting point is 01:50:30 Good. Yeah, I have not seen it. Don't plan to. I'm excited about it. The other thing would be Better Call Saul. I started watching that. I'm all caught up on that. It's Always Sunny just wrapped their season.
Starting point is 01:50:38 On the Game of Thrones thing, I didn't even watch it, but there was a montage. It showed an image from the show every frame for a couple seconds so there were like 74 images or something like that and uh yeah people on reddit have like taken it grabbed every still put it on imager and you can see all the like screens it did i don't know if they spoiled it or not like i really didn't know what i saw but we'll see it would be very easy to spoil it if you're as involved with the show as we all are for example if i saw stannis baratheon in any state other than decapitated i would then know that brienne is not going to behead him as was alluded if i see uh john snow in any state rather than lying dead
Starting point is 01:51:22 and cold i know that the Red Woman has brought her back. That ship has kind of sailed, though. You could see that, is it, what's her name? It's not Ariana, the girl who becomes the assassin. Arya. Arya is what I'm going for. You could see Arya and say, oh, she left that city, it seems. And that would be like a minor spoiler for people who know it.
Starting point is 01:51:42 Yeah, I don't want anything. For example, the Khaleesi, last time we saw her her she's being surrounded by a dothraki horde and uh if we saw her any in in any situation other than being like there we would know what comes next we would know oh she she got her way out of that horde surrounding situation they didn't know what comes next right as a i don't you don't But I think in the book they actually cover that. Yeah. So I have a good clue. I won't tell you.
Starting point is 01:52:07 Yeah. So, well, we know what happened in the book, but they certainly have diverted that in many ways. That's why I called it a clue. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I'm very excited about the season. I have not watched, I mean, for months and months
Starting point is 01:52:19 I've avoided spoilers, clips, trailers, images from behind the scenes, any of that stuff. So I don't know anything at all. Very excited about the show. I'm going to hedge my expectations, though, because of last season's little issues here and there. Though, of course, I read, like I told you guys, they hired some master swordsman who's just this world-class, top-tier guy to, I think, play the roles um uh of a great swordsman that's going to be portrayed this season so that that's that seems like a bright spot to me if that's accurate
Starting point is 01:52:50 i read it many months ago now though um it's always sunny wrapped um i think we got mixed reviews among us about what we thought about the uh the season finale uh i liked it i thought it was a good finale i haven't watched it i followed your advice to not watch last week so I could see it back to back. And it's still in front of me. Okay, well, no spoilers. Let's just, you know, it was a little different, but I really enjoyed it. Lots of funny moments. I don't think Chiz thought so.
Starting point is 01:53:17 Chiz thought it was shitty. He thought last episode was good and it dropped off. The penultimate episode, I think, is far superior. And I think I would have liked it more if I did woody's about to do and watch them in one continuous flow because that waiting for a week i didn't feel like it was worth the payoff me waiting in anticipation for the conclusion it had its moments it definitely wasn't the worst like the first four are the roughest episodes of the season woody, have you ever seen The Shield? Is that the one with the short bald guy who plays a cop?
Starting point is 01:53:47 Michael Chiklis, yes. So, are you familiar with the black actress who's on that show? Her real life name is CCH Pounder. She's got braids that she pulled back into a ponytail. She was pretty abrasive and loud mouthed. She outranked
Starting point is 01:54:04 Michael Chiklis' bald, white, kind of chubby guy character. Do you recall this actress? No, just barely. Okay, it is imperative before you watch It's Always Sunny that you familiarize yourself with what her voice sounds like on that show. If you've got Amazon Prime, you could pull up any given episode of that show, or maybe search YouTube, although I've had a little difficulty doing that. I pulled up an episode. Because someone in the episode does an impression of her, and it is so perfect that it had me just rolling laughing and just astounding at how good it
Starting point is 01:54:39 was. And then it's almost overshadowed then by another character's impression of something else that's just the antithesis. It's a real big funny joke, but it's important that you know what that black actress sounds like going in. Hmm. Okay. What are the other shows? Oh, Better Call Saul.
Starting point is 01:54:57 I am really enjoying that show. Really enjoying that show. Dude, I... What a fuck-up he is, though. Every time he steps in it, I'm just like, no. I'm back at... Sometimes, and it seems like in Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul I do, I really, really appreciate good videography.
Starting point is 01:55:16 You know, the people who do that purposely set things up in reflections. They purposely set up shots. What they do with the color correcting is amazing on it. I feel like I noticed stuff in those two shows, Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul, that I don't always observe in every other show. You know, some people love The Revenant for its video work. And I guess it wasn't my cup of tea because I thought, well, I recognize that it's good. It wasn't like micro observing stuff like I do in Better Call Saul. That show is just fantastic.
Starting point is 01:55:49 I really like it. I wish that I could have binge-watched it instead of it coming out weekly. Yeah. I just started last night, actually, so I think there's three or maybe four episodes. So I got to watch those in a row. And then it was like, oh, no. Oh, no, there's not an and then I didn't
Starting point is 01:56:08 search because I didn't want to know but when does the next episode air Chiz? It's every Monday at like 8pm so there's four right now five will be next Monday Better Call Saul? Yeah that happened to me Game of Thrones in season one when it came out like it got all this meme
Starting point is 01:56:24 activity you know winter is coming and stuff uh on reddit but i hadn't watched the show so when i did i just like binged watched season one of game of thrones and i was so excited i was like oh my god this is amazing it was crack to me and when i finished it i was like time for season two and i didn't realize that i was current and I've just been fucked ever since isn't that disheartening I don't recall
Starting point is 01:56:50 if I had one season to watch or two seasons to watch when I first got into it I think I might have had two seasons so that was pretty nice but whenever you run out it really is you're like fuck what do I do now? God damn it. Like every time it happens, I look at my girlfriend.
Starting point is 01:57:07 I'm like, well, now what are we going to do? You know, whenever whenever you finish a show, it's like right now we're watching The X-Files. I let all six episodes of this 10th season, you know, miniseries come out before I started watching. And now I'm two episodes in and I'm a big fan of the X-Files. I watched it as a kid, you know when I was a fifth grader I was having discussions with my fifth grade teacher during class about the X-Files because we both watched it. I loved it then, I still love it now. I've seen all the episodes many times. I really like this new season. They kind of flipped the script a bit.
Starting point is 01:57:42 Kind of rebooted what his conspiracy is about and what his journey is about. And they did it in a smart way, a cool way, and I like it a lot. It looks like the budget is pretty substantial for this thing because in maybe the first or second episode, we get to see sort of an alien spacecraft and it's on the ground
Starting point is 01:58:00 levitating and they're touching it. So it's not some out in the distance cgi it's right there in front of you and it looks real uh it's quite good um so i've really been enjoying the new uh x-files thing hmm that's what i'm watching now and then house of cards unless you don't want to talk about cards but everybody here's seen it we have all seen all 12 or however many episodes there are of House of Cards. 13, right? 52 we're at now.
Starting point is 01:58:29 52 episodes, 52 cards in the deck of playing cards, which is why I thought this was the final season. I heard that too, but it's confirmed that there's another year. Great. Awesome. Because, man, are we going to talk spoilers? That would be hugely disappointing if we didn't have another season. I think we should talk spoilers, but if so, I think you should do something with your hands
Starting point is 01:58:50 to prompt people when to listen and rejoin if they don't want to hear spoilers. Or you could not do spoilers, but I feel like it's hard to really have a discussion about anything if you're not going to talk spoilers other than saying it was good, you know? It's up to you guys, though. You want to do spoilers for maybe two minutes yeah sure um i'll go like this when the spoiler talk is over if you guys want yeah yeah all right so starting now you should mute us if you don't want any uh house of cards uh spoilers so uh let me jump in this real quick i think this this season was one of the best seasons maybe the second best
Starting point is 01:59:22 season that first season was excellent with uh the whole original cast that started there. Kate Mara is just so gorgeous, so hot, and she did such an amazing job with her character. And the Peter Russo character also, just gold. Did you know she's rich? She comes from money. That's God. What a 10, right? Perfect.
Starting point is 01:59:38 Right? And she got even hotter. Yeah, yeah, a thousand times hotter. I really enjoyed this season. I thought that last season, Frank Underwood really had the world by the balls. He's the sitting president. He's got time on his hands. He didn't struggle to get what he wanted done.
Starting point is 01:59:53 He just got stuff done. It was a boring season, and a lot of it focused too much on Prime Minister wifey, and that whole dichotomy was boring. Yeah, this season, however, Doug has really stepped up. Doug is my favorite character this season. He's all the things you want and sort of... A henchman. He's not an...
Starting point is 02:00:11 An office soldier. Thank you. He is as loyal as the most loyal Kingsguard member in Game of Thrones. His loyalty knows no ends. He will kill. He will steal. He will lie. He will intimidate he will assault whatever it takes yes yes whatever whatever i would not give my liver though for anyone i'm
Starting point is 02:00:34 sorry i really i agree with kyle we don't want your shitty when the doctor was like well he doesn't need part of a liver he needs a full liver and doug kind of like looks away and he starts doing research on how to get frank high on the list i agree with kyle i was like is he gonna off himself to give frank his liver because he would fucking do he goes to the end of the world for frank he's crazy he's crazy i love that about him um he he's he he's right up there he's one of my favorite characters in that show um i thought that the whole dynamic between Frank's wife's character and her mother that was really entertaining I really enjoyed that
Starting point is 02:01:11 I feel like we've gotten insight into the upbringing of Frank and Claire and we see why they're awful people now I also like that in the final episode Claire breaks the fourth wall with Frank they both are clearly he's like we don't
Starting point is 02:01:28 bend the terrors we make the terror and then they both kind of look at each other like she's like yeah that's what we did we make the terror and it was almost it was almost like that Breaking Bad moment like I am the one who knocks he's like we don't bend to terror we make the terror and it's just like fuck yeah that's frank underwood that's what i liked in the new season was uh when they were doing that whole spiel of like who's gonna you know all the states throw in their their votes around seeing who's gonna get elected and then the louisiana guy just ruins it for everyone where he's like oh the state of louisiana is gonna throw all 61 each votes for whoever the fuck that character was and it's like
Starting point is 02:02:06 he just ruined the whole convention yeah well no she gave her votes for um the secretary of state to be um the actual presidential nominee because it was an open convention they can do that i think that if if we're having an open nomination on the vp we should have open nomination on the presidential side of the ticket as well and they're like like, that's not what we're doing. And it just really blew up in his face. But of course, he handled it like he always handles it. And the big cliffhanger to me, and maybe I misunderstood, misheard. But what I think happened was the president tells Doug, go make it make it right. Go fix it and make it 100 percent. And so Doug goes out. He seeks the comfort of his female companion but if you keep him if you watch him he's keeping his eye on that clock it's almost 9 p.m and he's got stuff to do miles to go before he sleeps and he's got a lot of shit to do tonight and i don't know what he's doing but he's going to kill someone and or maybe a few people he's going after that herald uh reporter who just can't keep his see the reporter, the reporter, he's not going to touch the reporter.
Starting point is 02:03:05 The reporter is safe because of the article he released. But he will kill those testimonials. He will kill Jackie and Ruby Danton, I'm calling it now. And I don't think he kills the president, you know, Walker, the ex-president that got voted out or impeached out. Because that will draw way too much suspicion. But the other two people have been behind the scenes very often. You know, Jackie is no longer running for president so he'll kill those two and turn walker away with aggressive force who knows what was that thing where he what was that thing where he got on top of the guy and
Starting point is 02:03:36 get and just put the glass over his mouth and blocked one of his nostrils how intense was that well that was a very you're my dog now that was stupid like it was really stupid every bit of little grab like that's just not so position before submission right that guy didn't control his body at all you can't hold a glass on somebody's face and they have to stand still to allow you to do that it's a you could turn your head he had no control over what was going on. There's a reason that that move never exists in real life. I wanted more reality.
Starting point is 02:04:12 I didn't mind. I felt like the White House chief of staff beating up the... Press secretary. I don't think he needed too much jits to get it done. He seemed like the kind of guy who hadn't done much hand-to-hand combat. He was just shocked that the White House press secretary, his boss, is tackling him to the ground.
Starting point is 02:04:30 Does he fight back? Is he going to hit his boss? Not just his boss, but an angry physical boss who's attacking him. He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, stop. Wait, wait, boss. Don't, don't. You know, he's not in a position to, like, immediately start throwing, is what I'm thinking. So I agree with you.
Starting point is 02:04:46 He certainly just kind of, like, pushed him to the ground like a big bully and did that glass thing. But that was interesting, just the glass technique. Yeah, it was. You could see it was a real visual way to show that it was doing some sort of air check on him. And I think it should be accepted as the same kind of ludicrousness, like when in a kung fu movie the guy catches the shuriken and comes running at his head.
Starting point is 02:05:09 It's silly, but you can put it out of your mind. Should we end the spoiler talk now? Yes. You guys can come back if you muted us for spoilers. Come on back. All right. Oh, does anyone have a new topic or ad read what do you want to do? Are we do for an ad read?
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Starting point is 02:06:02 of the whole thing. It's like having a neighbor keep an eye on your home 24-7 without the judgment. Installing the video doorbell takes minutes and it works with either your current wiring or the built-in rechargeable battery. That's what I'm using. I mean, that thing lasts forever. Put your mind at ease and protect your home with the video
Starting point is 02:06:19 doorbell. Time Magazine and USA Today named one of their top 10 gadgets. Our listeners get free expedited FedEx shipping when you go to ring.com slash pka. That's ring.com slash pka with the Ring Video Doorbell. You're always home. It's pretty cool. It's a doorbell. You can either hook it up to your current one and use your house's existing doorbell,
Starting point is 02:06:38 or you can just put it on there, and it's like a live stream thing to your phone. So you know what, if it's the UPS guy or a bad guy or your milkman or whatever it is that you've got going on, you don't even have to answer the door if you don't want to because you know who's there. Yeah, I'm digging it. I'm pretty lazy and there are some people who I just want to answer the door for
Starting point is 02:06:58 and it's nice to be able to weed those individuals out. It's like an answering machine for your door. That's what it really is. Yeah, very cool. Have you ever done it yet where you see someone to be able to weed those individuals out. It's like an answering machine for your door. I like it. Have you ever done it yet where you see someone and you turn your TV volume way down? Oh, I've hidden many times. I've hidden many times. You know, if
Starting point is 02:07:15 some people will come and it's just some bullshit, like they're just wanting... I can't even... Jeremy has shown up before and I've hidden from Jeremy. Just not wanting to deal with his bullshit, because he always wants something, wants to borrow something, get something, or whatever. I've definitely hidden from
Starting point is 02:07:31 people who want me to sign for packages and shit like that. I don't like dealing with them. And if I'm not dressed, I'm just not going to the door. Have you ever had to double back? Where I had this habit in my apartment, where when I would open the door, you just kind of glance at other people, open the door, this is is back in college and then you greet the person that's there I had ordered a pizza and it was like 25 minutes later and the doorbell rang and I was
Starting point is 02:07:52 like fuck yeah it's the pizza so I walked over undid the deadbolt like that loud like click that like you can hear from the outside and then I went to like open the door and did a little peephole check and it was jehovah's witnesses and so i just relocked the deadbolt and didn't open the door but they clearly could hear the two like unlock doors tearing gonna open then oh no fuck you no pizza yeah those people are the worst those jehovah's witnesses yeah no i had a guy come to my house this week uh he was a it wasn't jehovah's witness but he was just trying to drum up business for his church. And apparently it seemed like politics. Like he got my name from a list of people who recently moved to the area. So he has like demographic data on me. He's like, I figured
Starting point is 02:08:36 maybe you didn't have a house of worship yet, so you can come to my house of worship. And he's like, do you have a house of worship yet? And I'm like,'s like well maybe you could come to mine i'm like i don't see that happening and like i was upset that he disturbed my peace you know i'm always upset i not that i take it out on people or anything but but a sign up no solicitors we were seriously we're thinking of doing that like we have this um we have two brick art with like an iron arch over the front driveway and uh i was thinking of doing that. Like, we have this, we have two brick art with, like, an iron arch over the front driveway. And I was thinking of, like, putting some sort of brass, like, antique-y sort of no solicitor sign. I.E.T. On one of the brick columns.
Starting point is 02:09:15 An I.E.T. But, like, the dogs go wild. And they're barking. And they're jumping around. And they've just disturbed my peace. Like, this is my fucking compound and you drove all the way up my driveway which is like a
Starting point is 02:09:32 private thing and you're knocking on my doorway because you want me to go to your fucking house of trickery. You know, like, oh yeah, we all believe in this invisible man and you give me your money so that we can talk about him weekly. That's like kind of our gig. You fucking scam artists. Snake oil
Starting point is 02:09:48 salesmen. Bullshittery. You are an evil, evil man ridding people of their precious resources in exchange for nothing but fakery and lies. And you're a predator. They are predators, these people. And they attack the old especially.
Starting point is 02:10:03 You start getting old, you start getting a little more religious. They're cramming for finals, right? They're hoping to get into heaven because they're about to go there. And I see this fucking piece of Satan bullshit on my front drive upsetting my dogs. And it's like, would you... I was much nicer. But in my head, I'm like, just fucking die in a fire, you shithead. My dad was talking about this just the other day.
Starting point is 02:10:28 We were talking about the evils of these televangelists and their crazy lifestyles. And he told the story of when his brother was dying of cancer. I was, I think, two years old when my dad's brother died of cancer. And it was terminal cancer. There was nothing they could do. He sought out all the medical help they could. And they ended up going to some faith healer somewhere in the country. They flew to this place, and Dad's telling the story about how this thing went down. He's like, they're up there shouting. The preacher is.
Starting point is 02:10:55 He says, who's got a $100 bill for the Lord? Who's got a $100 bill for the Lord? And Dad says, well, you know, you're sitting there, and I like to think I'm an intelligent person, but when he asked that question, everybody started pulling those $100 bills out and waving them, and you didn't want to be the one who didn't have a $100 bill for the Lord, you know? And so we all had a $100 bill
Starting point is 02:11:15 for the Lord, and it just described this whole scam artist bullshit, and of course my uncle died, so... That's the worst kind of person. Just preying on the desperation of someone who just doesn't want their loved one to be gone forever where it's like it's horrible dude as um there's a whole industry that gives like false hope to autism parents and they just oh yeah trust me sweeks weeks in our program and your kid's gonna be fine and uh like i remember looking at these things like am i an irresponsible parent for not putting
Starting point is 02:11:53 a hundred thousand dollars towards this thing when there's a chance a chance that this might be a fix yeah and like but it's a scam it's a scam but you're wrestling with these decisions and you're like man should i have sent them to fucking you know who's he watts's six-week autism camp i i don't know i don't think so looking back is well no you should bullshit so it's good that you did not but they they pull on your heartstrings strings and they are experts at it and uh so are churches they're just fucking fantastic at separating you from your money that's their whole thing and uh it's a business that exists they they sell nothing in exchange for cash and trick you into it so i understand that um they're currently uh looking at whether
Starting point is 02:12:39 or not they're going to declare what isis is doing in syria to uh christians and christian minority groups genocide or not they're looking at definition. They don't want to call it genocide, of course, because when you label something as a country, when the United States labels something, stamps it as genocide, then they're sort of contractually obligated to intercede with said genocide. So they want to say, no, no, that's not exactly genocide. But I listened to them quote the definition of genocide today on the radio and then describe the horrors that are going on over there directly to the ZD, I believe, or one of the ethnic minorities and the Christians and Catholics that exist over there, the extreme minorities.
Starting point is 02:13:20 The Pope's come out and said he thinks it's genocide, but our government has not. But they're weighing that decision right now, I think. It'd be interesting if they do label it genocide, because we might see an escalation in what's going on over there in Syria. Hope not. Another thing that could perhaps play a role in our current political race, when you've got Donald Trump saying, don't trust those Muslims. Most Muslims hate us. There are some good Muslims, but the Muslims hate us. Most of them do. That's what he's saying tonight, right now. And then you've
Starting point is 02:13:48 got Hillary Clinton preaching the opposite, basically. A lot of inclusionism, let the men judge, don't judge an entire billion people by the acts of a few. What if this thing keeps heating up? It keeps getting bigger and badder. I feel like Trump has a road to victory. And then SNL is great for the next four years. This is not a motivation fashion. You know what? I wish Jon Stewart was still in his seat. I feel like, and I'm a stupid follower for saying this,
Starting point is 02:14:20 but I feel like he would shine a little wisdom on what's going on here. He might make Trump look ridiculous. It would be the same thing he always did. Makes a joke, pretending to be really conservative, but it's really attacking a conservative. Then he gives you like an eyebrow raise of, look how clever I am.
Starting point is 02:14:37 Then he kind of shuffles his papers and everybody laughs. It's the same thing. It's like the same show between The Daily Show and Stephen Colbert, except Colbert is funnier. Colbert is better in every way. No, there's a difference. I'll tell you why. I like Stewart a lot more because he can go toe-to-toe
Starting point is 02:14:52 with anybody on the planet on these issues. When he beat Jim Cramer at finance, when he takes these Wall Street reporters or New York Times reporters and talks about their role in a financial crisis. When he brings in these world leaders and, you know, like, this is how you covered up or sold the Iraq war, you know, which was really based on lies. Jon Stewart, he would win all these Republican and Democratic debates, I feel. Yeah, he was just brilliant at it.
Starting point is 02:15:23 Whereas Colbert... How big is his cock? I don't know. It's uncircumcised, I guess. Wait, no, Jewish should be circumcised, right? Proper American. He's a tiny man. He might have tiny... Trump would probably use that. He's this tall. How are you going to vote for him? Stuart use that he's this tall how you gonna vote for him but uh but um yeah no stewart was brilliant and informed and he's an excellent speaker and he could go one-on-one with people who were like that and i like that about him colbert on the other hand was funny maybe even funnier but definitely
Starting point is 02:16:00 not able to really get to them like when it was serious time, Colbert came up as a lightweight. When it was serious time, Jon Stewart was not. And this new guy, I haven't watched enough of him. I feel like I should hold judgment. But what I do get from him is so much, I'm an outsider. Look at me, I'm from South Africa, and I
Starting point is 02:16:20 find this to be awkward. Again and again and again, to the point where I'm like, well, maybe you're just not the right guy for the job. Have you watched his stand-up? That's a little odd. Most of his stand-up is. Yeah, his whole stand-up routine is, I came from somewhere else, and I find these things about your culture to be ridiculous for an hour and a half. Oh, in South Africa, we do this and that.
Starting point is 02:16:39 Oh, here in America, you guys are doing this and this. Oh, my goodness. You know, cultural clashing. Watch me on the Today Show. I don't know. I don't think he was a very good pick as a replacement, mainly because I think he's too young. And if it's going to be a show about American politics,
Starting point is 02:16:56 I kind of want an American to be the one talking about it. I don't think that's douchey at all. If there was a show about politics in the UK and the host was some dude from Michigan over there, like, I would understand them kind of being like, what the fuck? Like, you can't put one of us on there? Like, you know, the people who are from this country talking about it that might have a little more insight? I don't know. Maybe I'm totally wrong.
Starting point is 02:17:21 That's just kind of my gut feeling for maybe why he's not as popular as Stuart was. Is it Jim Jeffries, the comedian who has the anti-gun thing, who says there's two reasons you don't like me? You know, one is you're closed-minded or stupid. I forget. And the other is I'm not American. And there is a hint of truth to that. If you're not American, off on how americans should do their gun laws you know like you shouldn't be just criticizing from the outside i don't do that to australia's gun laws i could give a fuck i wish you would i couldn't give a fuck
Starting point is 02:17:55 they caught me doing it yeah um uh anyway um so i don't do that in reverse and i i kind of feel like maybe they hired the wrong guy, but I know he was like their fourth or fifth choice. God forbid on any political forum an American say, like, I really don't think the way you do that over there in the UK or in Australia is good at all. That's really stupid. You'll just be shouted down, and you have so many fucking problems.
Starting point is 02:18:20 Talk to us when your gun issue is solved and whatnot. And meanwhile, people can just talk about America and shit on it, carte blanche, as much as they want, many fucking problems talk to us when your gun issue is solved and whatnot and meanwhile people can just talk about america and shit on it carte blanche as much as they want and americans will just be like oh yeah i'm just kind of kicking the dust around their feet around oh you know we do fuck up a lot a bunch of fat idiots that's us i don't know i don't like it i've talked about this before too and i'll just repeat. I get really frustrated that people believe anything negative about Americans. You know, if you just say Americans are stupid.
Starting point is 02:18:50 Americans are bad at math. My favorite example was, Americans are dehydrated. Oh, the typical American just doesn't drink enough water every day. Oh, fuck off. Really? This is the land of milk and honey. On one hand, you're like, we eat constantly. We're the fattest people on the planet. On On one hand, you're like, we eat constantly.
Starting point is 02:19:05 We're the fattest people on the planet. On the other hand, you don't drink enough, right? I think that you guys are just a whole nation of dehydrated people. Fuck you. America has its issues, but I don't think dehydration is one of them. We are a well-hydrated nation. But if you just lay it out there, like, oh, typical Americans doesn't drink enough water. People are just like, yeah.
Starting point is 02:19:28 I've never heard that before. They're apt to believe that Americans do bad shit. And, yeah, that's a real one that someone told me, and I came back with that rant. I had no idea. That's such a – you're doing pretty all right if the biggest critique of your country is hey you know that resource that you guys have in spades well you're not even taking advantage of it as much as you could it's like that's it's a decent problem to have like you know all those you know corporations that you have in your country creating delicious beverages for all at a reasonable price you guys are enjoying those so much that you're not even drinking the free shit out of the sink
Starting point is 02:20:02 like yeah like fuck it so whatever chat right now is like, well, American's piss is too yellow, right? Like, implying dehydration. Every once in a while. For the most part, do you have, like, I don't have much middle ground between, like, a freaking really yellow apple juice pee and just water pee. Because as soon as I have that awful stinky apple juice pee, I just drink so much fucking water
Starting point is 02:20:28 that the next one comes out crystal light, just perfect. I don't really pay much attention. I drink mostly soda. The amount of water... I don't remember the last time I drank any water. I cannot...
Starting point is 02:20:44 I swear to God. We were just talking about how dumb that I cannot. I swear to God. We were just talking about how dumb that stereotype was. I swear to God. I don't remember the last time I drank just water. I really, really don't. I drink a lot of soda. Right now I'm on a root beer kick, the A&W style.
Starting point is 02:21:00 It's delicious. But I drink milk, I guess occasionally, and cereal, and, if I got some cookies or something. But that's the only other liquid. Maybe a little apple juice mixed in there, but no water. Certainly not. I drink a lot of water. I hope that I drink mostly water.
Starting point is 02:21:16 Sometimes with a meal, I'll indulge in something that's whatever, liquid candy like soda. But throughout the day. All I've ever seen you drink is lemonade. Lemonade and Gatorade. You rarely get a Coke. Oh, you're talking about at restaurants? Yeah. See, you can't adequately
Starting point is 02:21:36 judge my diet based on what we do on trips. Because I'm a... I don't observe a diet on trips. That's very fair. When I'm on vacation, it's like steak tips for lunch, steak for dinner. You know, like can we get some steak for breakfast in here? Trump steaks on Trump steak.
Starting point is 02:21:55 Got any fucking lemonade? Right, right. Whore. She's a waitress, so you assume. Yeah. But at home, I mostly stay hydrated through this Nalgene bottle. And with meals, it's not as uncommon as it should be for me to have something sugary to drink with a meal. That's how I actually eat.
Starting point is 02:22:16 And how you stay so thin, Kyle, is beyond me. How he stays so thin is his borderline eating disorder style of eating, where it's like when someone who's really, really fat watches Kyle or listens to Kyle rather talk about, like, yeah, I go to Taco Bell and I get $30 off their menu, and then I go home and just sit down and munch it. Like that person sitting there eating that same $30 meal being like, well, why am I not skinny? What they don't show is that after that $30 meal,
Starting point is 02:22:46 Kyle fasts for a while. Nothing but, I'm sure, soda and the occasional homemade fries for a full day. I usually get pretty shaky around 5 or 6 p.m. because I haven't had anything to eat in 18 hours or something
Starting point is 02:23:01 like that, but I can usually have a soda and that'll take the shakes away. At 5 or 6 p.m., have you been up for like four hours now? Nah, I've been up all day. I get up around 8.30, 9.30, something like that in the morning. That Casper mattress really does. It's a higher quality sleep.
Starting point is 02:23:19 I can't stay in the bed any longer than that. I'm just laying there like, I'm done. I'm charged. So I've been getting up a lot earlier. But yeah, I eat like shit. like, I'm done. I'm charged. I've been getting up a lot earlier. I eat like shit. It's been pretty rough for a long time. Today, I ate a box of potatoes at Groton. I ate a
Starting point is 02:23:34 double flamethrower burger and fries with a root beer from Dairy Queen. I ate half of a family sized bag of sour cream and onion chips. I've had eight of these root beers now because I started with a 12-pack, and I noticed they're pretty much gone now. That's unbelievable.
Starting point is 02:23:52 I'm not done yet. So this is a splurge day. No, this is a day, and I'm not done yet. I'm going to eat more later. I eat a lot. Last night I ate five guys. I got a double meat burger, bacon and cheese. I get pretty much all the toppings and a large fry.
Starting point is 02:24:08 My girlfriend was like, I ordered the large fry, baby. And they said, are you sure? Because that can feed five people. And she was like, yeah, he eats it alone. And I do. I eat the whole fucking thing by myself. That's ridiculous. I tried the Michael Phelps diet, you know, like 30 eggs for breakfast
Starting point is 02:24:25 and a half a dozen pancakes. It didn't look like Michael Phelps. No. I don't know what went wrong. I followed him item for item. To the T. Three dozen eggs. I skip a lot of meals.
Starting point is 02:24:44 My issue is sleep schedule I feel like when my sleep schedule is in sync then you know on target then my diet gets more on target my exercise gets more on target everything like lately Woody Craft is doing a factions reset tomorrow if you're watching this live
Starting point is 02:24:59 and it's Friday for those who aren't and I've been up like between 4.30 and 6 every day this week. But I wake up at, like, between, I don't know, 11-ish. And that's just a shitty sleep schedule. 6 to 11. Like, it's crap. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:25:18 Not ideal. Yeah. We work so hard. And my players will shit all over me for some tiny little thing. Because that's the nature of factions, and you need thick skin. So, have you heard about this 10 Cloverfield Lane movie that's coming out with John Goodman? I haven't. Are you excited about it? I am excited about it. I heard him on the Stern Show talking about the film.
Starting point is 02:25:45 I know a little bit about it. I think it's a J.J. Abrams-produced movie, just like Cloverfield was. And if you remember Cloverfield in Fast Forward, it's a POV film. It's shaky, handicapped footage the whole time, like a found footage movie is what i should have called it and um basically it's like some young 20s uh 20 something year old uh friends and they're they're in a major city i don't remember if it's new york or new york yeah and uh basically a gigantic monster like a godzilla type uh monster um what do they call it kaiju a giant kaiju starts ripping its way through their city and they kind of are trying to escape the city the whole time. Now, I've watched the movie a few times and know a little about it. At the beginning, you can
Starting point is 02:26:31 see the kaiju coming from, like, splashing down in the ocean way off in the background. 10 Cloverfield Lane, from what I understand, doesn't have that monster in it. It's something completely different. And from what I've seen from the have that monster in it. It's something completely different. It's sort of a... and from what I've seen from the preview, it looks like it's kind of a psychological thriller with... basically John Goodman and a couple are locked in a bunker. John Goodman has the gun, nobody else does.
Starting point is 02:26:56 Just like Charlie said, but I've already got the gun. And it looks like there's something outside the bunker that John Goodman does not want this couple to expose them to and that's kind of the mystery and the whole thing that's building. I think it's going to be really good. I want to see it. That does sound good. Anybody else have one?
Starting point is 02:27:18 I'm looking forward to the Superman. Both the Civil War movies drawing me in and the Superman Batman movies. What's the Civil War one called? Captain America Civil War. Oh, fuck. That's going to be good. Spider-Man's in it. You thought there was a Civil War one. I thought it was like a battle
Starting point is 02:27:36 or a movie about Gettysburg or something. Like a fight, not Captain America romping around with his shield. Don't you understand? Spider-Man takes the shield. It's very exciting. Oh my god. Oh man. Pre-order those tickets.
Starting point is 02:27:53 So it's Spider-Man vs. Captain America? No. Well, I don't know if it's Spider-Man vs. It's kind of a civil war, so I don't know where Spider-Man falls. It's definitely not pitched as Spider-Man v. Captain America. It's Tony Stark and Iron Man's side of the Avengers and superheroes versus Captain America's side. And Spider-Man, I think, is projected to be on Iron Man's side of things in this.
Starting point is 02:28:18 That doesn't make much sense in the end like the the grand scheme of things because I remember several instances where cat or spider-man was like you kind of had a hero worship thing for Captain America like when they meet up he's like oh gee whiz your Captain America you know because you think about spider-man is like a teenager who just got out of school and Captain America is a super-soldier who's been alive since the 40s so he's kind of like a patriarchal they are taking civil liberties with the source material for this movie. They've already said that. If the leader of one is Iron Man, fucking Iron Man,
Starting point is 02:28:51 and the leader of the other one is Captain America, and Iron Man as Spider-Man, and purportedly other real heroes, that's looking like a real one-sided fight when Captain America is going to be calling in those periphery superheroes. Like, oh, here's Super Steve. Always finds a partner. Here's Rad Rich. He did my taxes 30 minutes last year.
Starting point is 02:29:16 I got way more back than I would have thought. My return was exceptional. Just stupid little things. You're right, though. exceptional uh just stupid little thing oh this is you know you're right though like captain america's side has his like brain fucked friend also from the 40s with like captain america and i'm totally i don't know shit about superheroes but i'm gonna try and get this as right as i can who has similar to captain america skills without the leadership he also has um a hawk man who is just a regular fucking dude with wings on his back, which is bullshit.
Starting point is 02:29:47 Anyone who's played Call of Duty knows that running around through the air gets you shot in a heartbeat. He's also got Super Vision. He's also got Black Panther. Oh, my God, really? So you mean he can do something that we can do with regular Vision? I've got contacts right now. I could go get some binoculars at Walmart right now. That's how I feel about flying.
Starting point is 02:30:06 I feel like flying is a crappy superhero or superpower. I've got a passport. Yeah, I don't need it. Yeah, yeah. No, it solves a problem that I don't have, transportation. I can get around anywhere. And then it brings in a lot of problems too. Flying to me, I imagine to be like riding on a motorcycle.
Starting point is 02:30:22 Like, oh, no, no, no. I hate flying in the winter. It's so cold. Like, it sucks. You know, I just don't think flying's great, especially their variety where you use wings and shit like a regular bird. That's, like, Superman flying, you know, is at least next to teleportation almost.
Starting point is 02:30:40 But Hawkman flying. You know what person I want to see on uh captain america's side on his superhero team is a super like massive marty like a giant fucking fat guy like the blob but it's not a useful fat it's like they have to move him around in a wheelchair and get a special van to bring him from fight to fight and he's just a big obese waste of space that it's just he's with them like when the blob comes out and he's wrecking buildings obese waste of space that it's just he's with them like when the blob comes out and he's wrecking buildings they just put you know you know supersized steve in a chair right in front of him you show him have you seen the lozang video where he can't hit that guy in
Starting point is 02:31:14 the side hard enough yes i have really pounds him taylor i think we should watch this as a group i'm very excited about this uh give me one more all right when we get back I want to talk about Ghostbusters oh okay looks whole the video is about a minute and a half it looks awful embarrassing here's this channel and the body armor video hipp Pippity hoppity. I didn't realize I hadn't. Oh, no. In the meantime, Kyle. Who else should we know about?
Starting point is 02:31:57 Oh, there's so many different people to talk about. Let's talk about a movie since we're kind of on the subject. Sony Pictures Classics presents the hilarious new comedy, The Bronze. The Bronze stars Melissa Rauch from The Big Bang Theory as Hope Ann Gregory, a gymnast who was once America's sweetheart. A decade ago, that is. Hope's inspired performance on a ruptured Achilles at the world's most prestigious gymnastics tournament
Starting point is 02:32:19 clinched an unlikely bronze medal for the U.S. team and brought glory to her hometown of Amherst, Ohio. But in the years since that epic third-place victory, Hope hasn't done a whole lot of anything with her life. Still living in her dad's basement, she spends her days at the mall milking her minor celebrity for free food and favors. Hope's routine is upended when she learns that she must coach Amherst's new gymnastics prodigy, Maggie,
Starting point is 02:32:42 in order to receive a sizable financial inheritance. The hard-edged yet insecure Hope is faced with a serious dilemma. Does she jeopardize her hometown hero status by devotedly training this rising star to achieve the dreams she never could, or does she attempt to sabotage the impressionable Maggie to ensure that she remains the one and only star in Amherst? The bronze medal stars Melissa Raunch, Gary Cole, Thomas Middleditch, Sebastian Stan, Cecily Strong, and Haley Lou Richardson. The bronze opens everywhere on March 18th, only in
Starting point is 02:33:09 theaters. The bronze. There's no place like third. That sounds like fun. I'd watch that. I would sabotage to make sure I was always the best. That would be my approach. I don't think they're going to do that in the movie, though, because that's pretty mean-spirited. I bet you she starts to sabotage and then changes her mind
Starting point is 02:33:26 and helps her achieve success then she probably has a change of heart she realizes that she's not being as kind as she could be and she rectifies it that's how I bet it plays out but we will see do you guys want to watch this video? don't try this at home, sure I promise you'll like it
Starting point is 02:33:42 alright, are you ready? yep ready, set, play alright, so this is. Alright, are you ready? Yep. Ready, set, play. Alright, so this is Lorenzo, he trains at my gym, and we're talking about how he's got a little bit of body armor here. So I'm gonna try to blast through it with a hook.
Starting point is 02:33:56 I probably can't, but we'll see. You get lower and more in front runs, you get his liver. Wait, is he wearing body armor or is he just attacking? No, he's just fat. He's a beast! Look at Joe try it! You can't chop him down! If he hit him like that...
Starting point is 02:34:19 He tried. It's gonna be fucking nice. His left hand is so hard. Is Joe left handed? No. He injured his right in the first round. You hit his rib. Dammit. He's throwing that hard.
Starting point is 02:34:36 He is throwing that so hard. I never thought of fat like that as a real tactical advantage in a fight. That's not how Houdini died. Houdini died letting a guy punch him in the stomach, and the guy hit him twice the second time he wasn't prepared. What about Houdini? Houdini died letting the guy punch him in the stomach.
Starting point is 02:34:54 He tense his muscles and take the punch, but the guy hit him when he wasn't prepared. I think he ruptured his spleen or something like that, and he died. Wow. Yeah. What an awful way to die. Because you probably don't know you're dying until it's too late.
Starting point is 02:35:07 I don't remember the specifics. I remember that's how it happened, though. Hmm. When was that? Was that... When was he around? 1920s. Well, Chiz knows, because that's when he got his hat. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:35:24 That's a Houdini original. Part of his. Yeah, that's a Houdini original. Part of his spring collection. Who remembers what Houdini's brother's name was? Harold. You think that they had two Harry Houdinis? I messed up. Get your brother Harry, Harry. Herman.
Starting point is 02:35:44 Herman? What was it, Kyle? It's Iggy. Oh, fuck you. George Foreman had like seven kids all named George Foreman. And when they asked him that, they were like, why would you name all your kids George Foreman? And he's like, well, that's the best name.
Starting point is 02:36:01 Which one would you want me to slight? I gave all my kids the best name. He gave them that name because he didn't know his own father's name. He said, this way they know who their daddy is. That way they all know what their father's name is because he didn't know. I'm going to Google this because I know that he said my thing at one point or another. Or maybe he ate some other person's ass to eat on my gorilla pits. I mean, at this point, if you asked him, he'd be like,
Starting point is 02:36:26 George who? George who? Y'all want some grills? If you haven't noticed, I'm a boxer, and I can't even spell my own name. Much less my children. Those people do not stay sharp for very long. Houdini's appendix ruptured, his spleen oh thank you well now you know have any of you had an appendix removed i have not no i haven't either i'm just hoping that it stays
Starting point is 02:36:54 i don't know what it's supposed to do but let's hope it doesn't do what i know it to do which is explode and kill you she was born with append with an appendix. Kyle is right. According to Google, he named him because if he ever got separated or divided, he wanted them to know that his dad was really him or something like that. A big part of his training regimen was chopping down trees. He used to go out there
Starting point is 02:37:20 with an axe and chop trees. And now I keep reading that that boosts your testosterone levels substantially. I think just because of the way it feels. You know, you get your nice flannel on, some denim, you get out there in the woods, start chopping. I've been splitting wood. Like, probably every other day I get out there and split wood for an hour or two. And I just like being outside.
Starting point is 02:37:42 How's Colin, by the way? He's good. So we took Colin to the doctor yesterday, the surgeon that worked on his foot. And he took it out of the boot. He took the stitches out and the gauze off of it just for a little test. He had to move his toes and they're all connected and they all work. And we touch them. I was worried about nerve damage, so I touch them very carefully.
Starting point is 02:38:06 My wife used an artist paintbrush. And they seem to be just normal toes now in terms of feeling. So it takes six weeks, which we'll call – it's 42 days, but we'll call it 40 days. And today he's 11 days into his 40-day period. And then the boot comes off 40 more days, and he's full strength. So that's all great to hear. I'm glad that he's progressing well.
Starting point is 02:38:35 So the Ghostbusters trailer came out the other day. I watched this thing. Let me preface this by saying the Ghostbusters was one of those movies that we had on cassette, right? It was one of those movies that we had on cassette. It was one of the ones we had in our collection. So that meant I watched it many, many times, Ghostbusters 1 and 2. 1 is obviously a much better film. You've got an amazing cast though. Originally Ernie Hudson's role, the black guy role, was supposed to be filled by Eddie
Starting point is 02:38:56 Murphy. But I think putting Ernie Hudson in there was even better because you've got three like white goofball scientists, all of SNL alumni, and then you've got Ernie Hudson in there as the everyman role. That's what Chiz just threw in there, and that's true. He's the one there to be the audience's role. He's there so that Egon can explain this shit to Ernie, but really Egon's explaining it to us. And Egon just wants a job.
Starting point is 02:39:24 Excuse me, Ernie Hudson's character, the black character, just wants a job. This new thing, it looks so disgusting. It looks so awful. It looks like such a betrayal of what the Ghostbusters is about that I'm just sickened by it. It has nothing to do with the fact that it's women. I'm perfectly comfortable with a female cast taking over that thing. But that black caricature of a character that they've
Starting point is 02:39:46 produced uh in that role is is awful the the melissa mccarthy character i don't like her doing anything it's just she's not the black character no i know she's not but i don't like her character either and the the chick who's licking the the fucking pistol like what the fuck is that what the fuck is that like like Like, you're a scientist who's, like, fighting ghosts, but you find time to lick a pistol? Like, it just seems so stupid and so dumb. And I know it's a movie about fighting ghosts, but it used to be
Starting point is 02:40:14 a movie about fighting ghosts that you could kind of suspend your disbelief and be like, yeah, they're fucking fighting ghosts. The ghosts look like shit. The old ghosts look better from the 80s. This looks like... I don't know what it looks like. Scooby-Doo movie ghosts. Perfect.
Starting point is 02:40:28 I actually do have a problem that they're women. I feel like these people are somewhat action heroes. And if you cast an all-female action hero movie, there'd be a lot of discussion over what... Charlie's Angels.
Starting point is 02:40:44 I feel like it's silly um and this is silly they're all fat girls too aren't no no they're not all fat but a couple of them are fat no a couple of them are very fat a couple of them are fat a couple of them a couple of them could not jog around my house without being completely winded yeah no they could not a couple of them an action movie, by the way. It's more science-based than anything. Here's the worst part of all this. Think of the original movies.
Starting point is 02:41:11 They're not running around doing things in the expendables or anything. They're walking and sauntering around with their guns and stuff. I feel like I need to remind you of them getting sucked into the river of ooze and hopping aboard the Statue of Liberty and using it to smash open the museum and roping down in to fight this giant thing 50
Starting point is 02:41:30 flights of stairs or something to battle that thing at the top they were tired they climbed a lot of stairs they thought a god are you a god no then die and bill mur Murray's like if someone asks you if you're God you say yes! The biggest problem I had with the trailer, I don't know if anyone else noticed it, at the very start of it it opens on a black screen says you know like thirty years ago four scientists saved the world which is one inaccurate like you just point out three scientists and an everyman
Starting point is 02:42:03 guy but this is not a a sequel it's not a prequel one inaccurate like you just point out three scientists in an everyman guy this is not a a sequel it's not a prequel it is supposed to be a remake so when you allude to that gone wrong bill murray's in this movie yes a cameo role bill they said it is not a or it is not a sequel it's a one-minute the franchise and i'll do it right now it's a reboot so the problem is if you're alluding to that in that universe it doesn't make any sense.
Starting point is 02:42:27 Hiding Bill Murray's cameo because he's the one producing the ghosts. He's the reason that there are ghosts. That's the whole secret to the movie. Furthermore, that it shows it's not a sequel or anything. If he's in there producing the ghosts, it's straight up a reboot of the series. That's the issue with this. Not necessarily, but in any case, looked like shit, not interested in it. I saw that it got tons and tons of downvotes. It's not a sexist thing at all.
Starting point is 02:42:51 It's practically Rebecca Black's Friday. It just doesn't seem like it's going to be very funny. No, it doesn't. They took something that was a real classic. I really care for the Ghostbusters a lot. It's one of my favorites. It's not a perfect movie. It's not a well-acted movie exactly, but it's a good
Starting point is 02:43:08 fun movie to watch and I like every bit of it. And this remake looks disgusting. Like a mockery of my childhood favorites. I'm not excited for it at all. I will not ever watch it. You won't even torrent it. No, the same way I don't watch the Teenage Mutant Ninja
Starting point is 02:43:24 Turtle movies because I didn't come to stare at megan fox's tits i want some ninja turtles god damn it and they've got ninja weapons so there should be a lot of blood i want an r-rated teenage mutant ninja turtles i want that rat to get out there be grabbing eyeballs and shit i was i was in high school when they like got big and i just it't into it. It's a wrap. Yeah. There's never been a time in my life when Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles weren't stupid. I was four years old, right? Christmas comes around, there's the turtle van, it shoots fucking pizzas. I got Donatello, Leonardo, Michelangelo, Raphael, they're all backing me up.
Starting point is 02:44:00 We're going against the Shredder, right? He's got the brain inside that body. They're tunneling up from underground and my little imagination's just going as i pit them against one another with my you know hundred green army men with their bazookas backing me up if you were four i was 17 and like this shit is gay get me some that makes a lot of sense yeah i just you know it missed me so when i was around four five i like the power rangers a lot too yeah in addition to the ninja turtles somehow i was around for so i wasn't into the power rangers again too old but i never had an issue with it it was just like oh well that's for kids it's not
Starting point is 02:44:36 for me whatever teenage mutant ninja turtles on the other hand like i somehow had an issue with that the teenage version of me was like, no, that's too stupid. That's stupid. What's their superpower? Liking pizza or something? They're ninja turtles who eat pizza. Like this is so dumb. Oh, did you ever watch Street Sharks?
Starting point is 02:44:57 Yes. I loved Street Sharks. Street Sharks! Yes, the Street Shark figures. And in the action figure battles, you know where you'd have all of little kids action figure battles. It's basically like what an adult is. It's like fan fiction where it's just
Starting point is 02:45:12 like people from every storyline just fucking you know, you get it. Power Rangers, you're in here. Turtles, you're in. Street sharks, you're in. And they would always be the bruisers because those action figures were huge and those were ripped shark people. All those were so cool. I wonder if you can still get those Yes, three sharks read it. I don't get it the Bolton family is strong in Street Sharks and Game of Thrones Oh the family and yeah Street Sharks. Oh, so you like Street Sharks to choose
Starting point is 02:45:40 They literally swim through asphalt and fight emerge to fight their father's enemies. It's really... Street Sharks wasn't a retarded show, just built to sell toys like Power Rangers and Transformers and shit. It was a good show. I liked Voltron. Who liked He-Man and the Monsters of the Universe? Probably too old.
Starting point is 02:45:58 This is horrible. That's too old for me, Kyle. Come on, nobody was into He-Man? I was. Oh, I liked He-Man. I had the He-man sword okay i was the master spoiled child you i oh we had to hunt for this thing i remember i'm five years old i i got the sword and this thing like the he-man and the master of the universe sword was electronic when
Starting point is 02:46:17 you hit shit with it it made noise so it'd be like so i'm walking around, I'm fucking He-Man, and I'd say it, I have the power of the universe! A greyskull, I think. And then I'd fucking hit my aunt like she was Skeletor, and fucking try to kneecap her ass, like, and she's just screaming, and I'm just like, I was He-Man, I loved that shit. I watched the movie. The movie's terrible. Dolph Lundgren.
Starting point is 02:46:47 Awful. It's real, real bad. It's real, real bad. But I had all that shit. I had the toys. I had the castle. I had Castle Grayskull. It's got like a.
Starting point is 02:46:57 Yeah, I had Castle Grayskull. I had all of the henchmen. I had He-Man. Whatever that big cat he rode was. It was some sort of like alien tiger thing. It had a name. All of the characters. I had them all. And whatever that big cat he rode was. It was some sort of alien tiger thing. It had a name. All of the characters, I had them all, and I'd make them fight. And then it all got stolen from me.
Starting point is 02:47:10 There'd always be like – I never had any kids that were on the – friends that were kind of on the same socioeconomic level. So I always had these poor kid friends who would steal shit from me, and you couldn't trust them to raise toys. That still exists to this day. Like you'd leave your like plate. Yeah, it still does.
Starting point is 02:47:26 Yeah. I can remember like I had this huge Play-Doh thing when I was like six, like I had the Play-Doh factory with all these things that would do. And, and I must've had like 50 different colors of Play-Doh all organized and shit. And we moved. So it had to be in storage.
Starting point is 02:47:41 Fucking cousins got into it. All my Play-Doh gone, left out, hardened, you know, ruined all my shit, took my castle grace. That's why they're poor. so it had to be in storage. Fucking cousins got into it. All my Play-Doh gone. Left out. Hardened. You know, ruined all my shit. Took my Castle Grace. That's why they're poor. They can't take care of their stuff.
Starting point is 02:47:51 Damn right. Did you ever get into any trading card games? Because those were the worst if you had poor friends. They would just fucking... They just... No, I don't leave you alone in my room with my cards because you'll fucking swipe one and I won't notice several days down the line.
Starting point is 02:48:05 Fuck you. The worst is paintball because that's what I wanted to play as a 12 year old. I got my own gun. Hell, I got three. I got five 20 ounce air tanks. I got 2000 rounds because I actually went and bought as many as I needed. Nobody else does. Everybody else has got shit guns.
Starting point is 02:48:23 They don't have a parent. Poor kids played airsoft in our groups. They didn't have enough paint. I'd have to supply them with paint. Oh, that's getting expensive. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, oh, if I want to play with somebody, I gotta like... You have to host an event,
Starting point is 02:48:38 basically. I have to host an event. For your childhood friends. Yeah, it was absurd. So, like, I always had that issue. None of my friends were ever had the same cool shit I had. So I ended up playing by myself a lot. Which, I don't know if you could tell. It shaped me.
Starting point is 02:48:53 Led to mailbox destruction. That's why I keep this little piece of onion here in case I have to show it in the moment. Onion! Onion! Onion! Oh, that was so funny. That was one of the best parts of that episode. I don't want to spoil anything.
Starting point is 02:49:09 Are we talking about Always Sunny Philadelphia? You ruined it for me. You regressed. You bastards. We're actually talking about Prosper.com because in today's economy, cash really is king. So instead of getting stuck with a high interest credit card, you should go to Prosper.com.
Starting point is 02:49:23 Prosper's online marketplace connects people who need money with those who want to invest, invest in you. You can use prosper to borrow up to $35,000 in as few as five days. With prosper.com, you can borrow money for just about anything you want. You can pay off high rate credit cards. You can fix up your house, even plan a vacation. Anything you want, it's your money. Prosper.com is the better way to get the cash that you need at a low interest rate. To check your low rate instantly without affecting your good credit, go to prosper.com slash pka. So for up to $35,000 in your account in as few as five days, go to prosper.com slash pka. That's prosper.com slash pka.
Starting point is 02:50:04 I think I was reading about this yeah yeah it's cool because you can you know borrow but you can also invest too if you want if you want to play around with that you know because they need to get the money from somewhere it's almost like crowdfunding alone you um so i'm gonna say oh oh the uh there's like financial independent subreddits and stuff and some people are like hey i, I've got 50 grand. How can I get this much out of it? And services like this are one that they point them to. Like on the loaning side, you get a high rate of return.
Starting point is 02:50:37 And it's no work for you. So I don't know. It's an interesting new world of like micro lending or, you know or just lending outside what traditional banks have used to do. What do they call it? A disruption, disrupting market, something like that, where someone just attacks a problem from an entirely different angle and changes the game. And, yeah, I'd be interested. It's pretty neat
Starting point is 02:51:05 so prosper.com check them out for all your money lending and borrowing needs did you type something in chat yeah what'd you yeah man he said a new low in advertising i said no man it's a new high six motherfucking sponsors. Suck a dick, Manny. Jesus Christ. Who's Manny? No idea.
Starting point is 02:51:30 I don't know. He's a hater in the internet. Oh. Kill yourself. Yes. That is a... I was going to try to tie that into a sponsor, but they probably don't want murder talk and sponsor talk.
Starting point is 02:51:43 Kill yourself with this. Kill yourself with Dollar Shave Club. Get alone. Grab a razor. We won't go that way. Everyone's telling Manny to suck a dick. Ah, fuck you, Manny. So where do we go from here?
Starting point is 02:52:07 Let's see. We've covered the entertainment realm. We've covered... If you had $500 to burn, what would you buy for yourself? What do you want in life in the $500 range? Wow, that's pretty limiting. A thousand, I feel like I could give you a better answer, but 500. That's a limiting. A thousand, I feel like I could give you a better answer, but 500. That's a lot of hats.
Starting point is 02:52:29 I'm going to be honest. I don't think there's anything that costs $500 that I want that I don't already own. I mean, I've got... Yeah, right? It's not to say that's an insignificant amount of money, but for a lot of people, it's like, well, if it was at 500, I might have gone it by now. I mean, this is about as good as I'm going to get for a gun for $500. Actually, I want a Sig P238, I think, 236, the smaller one that shoots a.380.
Starting point is 02:52:56 It's probably.238. And I don't know. I just haven't pulled the trigger on it yet. I don't know quite what to do with it. I think, like you mentioned, it's not a fun shooter. It's just a nicer carry. Do I really want that? I've got a $500 watch. I've got a roughly $500...
Starting point is 02:53:11 Oh, I would get a SureSM 7B and a new mixer. Ooh. Yeah. It comes out to roughly that much. Yeah, yeah, it does. I like the SureSM 7B. People have said that they hear me breathing through this because I'm too close.
Starting point is 02:53:25 So I've tried to be a little further, and I put the big foam on it. We'll see if that helps. Yeah, I really can't think of anything. I'm trying to think of something that $500 is extravagant for that item. You know what I mean? Like, what? It's a $500 bottle of Coke? Or a $500 light bulb? Are you saying I have to spend this money? Like, I can't keep it and save it. I have to spend it.
Starting point is 02:53:48 Because if that's the case, I also might buy a $500, like, processor or something, like a CPU. Because I'm not going to spend that amount of money, probably, you know, out of my own pocket. Interesting. Yeah, I just, there's not a lot of stuff on the $500 amount that I've denied myself.
Starting point is 02:54:04 You know, so, like, what exactly do you want at that price point? That's what makes it interesting. Yeah, there's not a lot of stuff on the $500 amount that I've denied myself. So what exactly do you want at that price point? That's what makes it interesting. If it was like, if you were $25,000, then I'll pick a car or something. Taylor, if you had $500 to burn, what would you treat yourself with? What would you buy? What have you denied yourself in the $500 range? 5,000 packs of magic cards? You know, roll the dice to get a black lotus? That's an investment idea.
Starting point is 02:54:30 No way you could buy that many packs for that amount. Of course not. You could buy five of them. I don't know. I guess I would say it's not enough to like jump into a new hobby, so to speak, but it's enough to bolster another hobby so i'd probably just buy a ton of ammunition so i wouldn't have to worry about that for a long time which i'm sure kyle and you probably have a ton of ammunition just laying around i'm pretty good i'm low on shotgun shells i think those are so cheap though like comparatively unless you're buying like home defense rounds or something i have a lot of ammunition he does i i would have bet on that
Starting point is 02:55:10 i'm not surprised bullets per gun you have a lot of ammunition like a lot of times i don't know i'll buy like we did an m60 video a few months ago and i bought you know enough ammo to make sure that even if there were multiple takes i could have it and didn't need multiple takes so i got like a you know 2 000 rounds of 308 now upstairs i got my 308 rifle out today and went and plinked a little bit that was fun i have um like i don't know i bought a couple i i had this idea that i wanted a lot of ammo on hand for some of the different calibers i have so in nine millimeter i've got like a thousand rounds and um what is an ak-47 shoot help me 7.62 by 39
Starting point is 02:55:52 millimeter thank you i've got a thousand rounds of that maybe more um two two three or i think it's literally five five six i've got like a thousand rounds of that um a couple hundred rounds of 380 and oh a couple hundred rounds of 50 cal all tracer yeah and um wow that's pretty expensive right how'd that happen why'd you get tracer i yeah you know it was for woody's lab and i thought it might uh make for more interesting videos if i ever made videos so what you're really October is just a few months away. I like the way you're thinking. What you really want is incendiary, though, because the tracer takes like 150 meters to ignite because the bullet's moving so goddamn fast.
Starting point is 02:56:36 But the incendiary is what you really want. Let me see what it is. It's not far from me. If you show me what color the tip is. How much is an incendiary one? You know, I don't know because I was given a lot of it about four years ago, and I'm still using the allotment that I was given. I was given several hundred, maybe 800 rounds of.50 BMG mixed in incendiary,
Starting point is 02:57:02 armor-piercing incendiary, tracer, armor-piercing incendiary, just tracer, spotter tracer, ralphos, slap, slap T, a little bit of everything. So I've got a lot of.50 BMG stuff. That's actually, you see that little barrel sticking up right there? That's my.50 cal back there. So I like that stuff. It's a lot of fun. I've got some 12 gauge incendiary rounds
Starting point is 02:57:25 now and they're pretty fucking outrageous. I was shooting those out of my candy cane gun today. It's that like 8 foot tall 12 gauge. Put a big 6 power ACOG on it and at 100 yards I'm shooting a plate about like this off hand and it's just explosions. It came in these boxes.
Starting point is 02:57:43 American Eagle? Yeah, is that bad or good? Um, fine. Um, fine. I mean, it's not bad. It's fine by that. Like, it's not the worst. It's certainly not the best.
Starting point is 02:57:56 What would you say is the best? I'm not an expert in that, but I would get Hornady. Oh, that's what my home defense are. I think it was cheap. I think it was posted on some sort of sale and I was like I'll stock up. So it is tracer like I thought it was and we'll open it up. Can we see around? Ah yeah. Yeah I'm working on it. I'm trying not to tear up in the box more than I have to. Here we go. Looks like this in the package.
Starting point is 02:58:29 Oh, let's see the tips. These are the backs, I'll get them out. Oh, it looks like they're all stuck together, maybe? They are. Ah, okay. So what does that color mean the backs interesting that they're different colored in the back is it just is it just brown on the the tip yeah I'd call that brown okay tracer right what it I think Kyle's gonna break out something with more interesting tips is my the only 50 caliber you've got right now
Starting point is 02:59:10 I really kind I have but I have a lot of these boxes ok yeah I think I may have exaggerated when I said I had hundreds I don't know if I weren't that many boxes back there there's only 10 in here but I've got a bunch of rounds. Enough. More than most. More than most, I guess. Yeah, yeah. I have the other stuff.
Starting point is 02:59:31 Like, I've got... You know, I'll grab one. Ammo cans and stuff. This will just be a second. Okay. Chiz, are you here? No, he's not. It's just me right now, guys. It's just me hanging out.
Starting point is 02:59:43 Go over to my my channel check me out like all my videos check out my pod check out the truly what's your podcast called truly terrible check it out go go over there do that spam the shit out all those videos comment silly things and like it and uh this is what happens when woody leaves and chiz and kyle this is horse shit this is just my podcast now. I would do things differently if I ran things around here. Oh, you bet your ass I would. Gotta be quiet now though, boss is coming back. Jesus, where did everybody go?
Starting point is 03:00:12 I don't know, you know? Just me here. I went away and everybody disappeared. This thing is legit heavy to like carry. I'm trying to... Look, Kyle's got a belt of ammunition right there, racked over the couch. No big deal. Oh, it went too far.
Starting point is 03:00:35 I've got... Just a lot of rounds. I think you can't see with your thing. Shit. Managing the webcam is kind of tricky. But I don't know. I'm ready for zombies. This stuff smells bad.
Starting point is 03:00:55 How come you didn't keep them in the boxes? Is there any reason why? Yeah, it's not a great reason. But I watched Kyle load his uh magazines and it was just so much nicer like he had ammo cans like this and uh you know just watching him they're so easy to grab out of a can and drop in the thing it was like oh that's way better than having them all like in the plastic and And like sometimes they come in, my five, five,
Starting point is 03:01:25 six came in these like stripper clips for some reason. And you get to fight like every one of them out of the stripper clip. And Kyle had a pile. It was like pile is so much nicer to just grab and load. So that's why I'm minoring these things. Cause I envied what Kyle had. So. I couldn't find any with like good markings.
Starting point is 03:01:55 So blue is incendiary. I think that these. How much is one of those blue incendiary bullets? I really don't know again because I've always got them for free kyle it's called a stripper clip right a stripper clip that when you put them in the like a mozen to gaunt they'd come in as a clip is it not called a stripper clip yes yeah okay yes it is they're all writing stripper like i'm crazy in the chat and i'm like i think i have it right it's if you make a mistake to gun people they they will tell you. But I think I have that right. You could just call it a clip, but yeah, stripper clip works too.
Starting point is 03:02:29 I think that red and silver is probably armor-piercing incendiary. It may be armor-piercing incendiary tracer, though. But in any case, it does a lot of stuff. Inside, there's a steel penetrator that's really no joke. It really goes through a lot of stuff. It makes a difference. Kyle has a thick piece of concrete on his shooting range. And if you shoot it with a regular.50 cal versus that,
Starting point is 03:02:57 you're like, ooh, yeah, it does a different thing, right? Yeah, it keeps going in. What will the regular one do to it compared to the powerful? So it'll blow out a spot about this big around and about that deep. But it's really like you hit it with a sledgehammer, you know, and just disperse the material.
Starting point is 03:03:14 Just a hard impact, a punch. But the penetrator, it does that, and then that steel penetrator continues to burrow into the concrete in a way that normally lead projectiles, copper projectiles would splatter and deform. This keeps going on in and it burrows in pretty far, about this far and I've dug them out with pliers and stuff and they're pristine
Starting point is 03:03:36 because that steel they're using is so hard. You can pull them out and I've heard of people using them as like punches, using the end of a punch and stuff like that. So, yeah. And then the slap T rounds. I wish I had one. The point of it is almost like a pinprick. Like it's very sharp. And I think it's tungsten.
Starting point is 03:03:58 I think it's tungsten carbide. They also make depleted uranium rounds. It's really heavy, right? That's the point of it. I think the point is that it's really hard, dense material that penetrates well. Isn't that what a tungsten is? Tungsten is just a really, really hard material, right? Yeah, they use it on tooling and stuff. It's an element, I think, right?
Starting point is 03:04:25 Isn't it an element? We need Wings of Redemption for that. If you've got a metallurgy question, I like to refer to it. I think it's kind of like aluminized steel. Element 74. Thank you. Element 74.
Starting point is 03:04:39 It sounds like a movie that would let you down. While we're here discussing the element, let's see if we can disprove hell using the periodic table. I feel like that's the only... Oh, stop. I feel bad. Ah, come on. It's funny.
Starting point is 03:04:58 I don't even know what we're talking about. There's a Wings of Redemption video where he used science to disprove hell. I think, if I remember right, it tied into the idea of an eternal flame needing to burn atoms or something. I recall this now. We'll just leave it at that. Eventually, it's just all gone. No more carbon. And that's when I lost my...
Starting point is 03:05:18 Magic is not on the periodic table, unfortunately. I remember that. Woody, myself, Taylor, and all of us, we were at the paintball event when that video came out. We all really enjoyed it. That was a good night. That was a good trip in general. I had a
Starting point is 03:05:36 great time. Was that the same trip? We went to Applebee's and had that wild, crazy night. There were two or three meals during that that I felt were really fun. I enjoyed hanging out with everybody I like that trip a lot yeah that was a fun one the trip so I'm going to go for me at this point place with the skirt that was fun till whatever that's still kill yeah that place was all right yeah I like that too yeah I wish I'd managed to stay
Starting point is 03:06:01 fucking sober so I could have maybe fucked one of the tilted kilts. But no, you were too kind with your accepting of shot spot for you, right? Yeah. Just couldn't say no. They kept buying me drinks, and I kept drinking them, and I definitely missed out on getting late on that trip. That was a real bonehead mistake. And it ruined the evening. You know, I'm vomiting out the truck window on the way back. Joe, like, legit held a grudge for me because i think i like blocked he was photographing you in the side view mirror and maybe i leaned forward or something i ruined it and uh he now he doesn't
Starting point is 03:06:36 have video of you vomiting out of a car which apparently he valued highly yeah there's video of him doing it in the sink and i had that video i deleted my copy i'm not but yeah so but like vomiting out that window it was we were going fast too i just hung my head out and just let it fly and it's just vaporizing and like you ever like pour a bottle of water out the window and watch it just go and like go away it was that the vomit and it was like when colin chopped his foot with an axe 10 days ago or 11 days ago he uh he had some like shock and he vomited out the side of my truck and it's the passenger side though so i never really think about it or see it every so often i go by and I was like, the rain hasn't taken care of that yet. There is a vomit trail
Starting point is 03:07:26 on the side of my truck from when he got sick. There's more character. You're going to want to take care of that because that can ruin paint. Oh no! Oh no, not paint! No, it can't. It happened on my Jeep when I was in high school. I was driving
Starting point is 03:07:41 one of my friends and they got hammered and they were hammered and they were throwing up outside my passenger or my rear passenger window and like the initial like got out but all the remainders just like you know the the first rush into battle made it but the rest of them kind of just trickled out just all over both inside and out and i just it wasn't on my side of the car so i just left it for like a month and I walked over there one day and I was like well what well goddamn look at that vomit is still there and I walked back around got in my car and drove away and like probably six months after that there were just little
Starting point is 03:08:15 paint peeling ruined areas from this asshole's stomach acid really his fault not the fact that I neglected it for half a year. I agree. One thing I'm sure of, Woody is very concerned about the pristine paint job on his beloved vehicle. I think he should be. It deserves it. You haven't seen pictures of this mode of transportation, have you? Yeah, I have. Okay. We'll leave it at that. I kind of don't want it to rust on the door, though.
Starting point is 03:08:43 I probably should hit it with the hose. I mean, it'd be good not to have vomit on your car when you drive to places at the very least. I want to put my best foot forward. That's a good minimum standard to maintain. Like wiping your ass. Yeah, you don't have to get the dirt off, but there's a level, all right? No vomit on the car if we're going somewhere. Yeah, I mean, I thought I sort of went above and beyond when I got the blood off the floor mats.
Starting point is 03:09:12 To get the vomit off the side. It looked bad. Dude, I watched that video, and I didn't think it accurately represented how much blood there was. Like, it was dried. A lot of blood, man. Like, sinewy by the next day. On day of, it was puddles. It was a lot of blood. Yeah like it was dried man like sinewy by the next day on day of it was puddles it was a lot of blood yeah it was uh it's gonna hurt the resale oh no yeah no i died every so often sell
Starting point is 03:09:34 that truck for if you wanted to is a thousand dollars thousands maybe two of them yeah three thousand dollars three thousand is actually the number i have in my head uh i think that a one in a 13 year old tacoma in good shape is probably worth like five or six and mine is probably worth four or five ish if i were to bet and uh a dealer might give me less than that like on a trade-in you'd be surprised. I purchased a lot of cars on Craigslist, and I've been looking around there, and you'd be surprised some of the deals that are on there. We got Josh rolling for just a few hundred dollars. Got him a Ford Ranger.
Starting point is 03:10:15 He's getting himself a... They're all the same, right? I don't even know. They didn't change that body style for like 30 years. Hope has committed herself to driving by this summer. There are a couple things that she wants that can only be done when she can drive herself and uh she's newly motivated so i will have a car to buy i think the plan is to buy my wife a car and give hope the
Starting point is 03:10:35 forerunner i like that plan a lot it's a good plan yeah the four one sixteen she's she is 16 now yeah yeah what's what's the delay here? She's not motivated to drive. I swear. I have a theory. I got it from the internet, but it made a lot of sense to me. Even you, maybe. A little less so. But if you're 16 now, right?
Starting point is 03:10:57 If you're currently 16 years old, you don't need a car to have a social life like you once did. So much of it happens over Skype and Facebook and whatever that I don't think she feels as out of the loop as 16-year-old Woody would have. Bizarre. It's not even just that. You know what I love the most? I'll tell you. It was being able to go get my own food
Starting point is 03:11:18 because beforehand, if, say, the family went out for dinner and I wasn't able to get my order in then I didn't get any food but now I can go anywhere I want you know beforehand you know if we're if we're gonna get fast food or something if dad wants Wendy's then he's certainly not gonna take me to Taco Bell but now I've got my own ride it's Taco Bell time whenever I wanted to be it's anything all the time every waking hour hour of her, I feel like she works too much and I pride myself on working. She comes
Starting point is 03:11:49 home from school and just works until sleep and that's like her normal thing. And when I say work, I mean all, like she has two extracurriculars. She does, she's captain of the speech and debate team and she's in the high school musical, which is finished now, but that was something that occupied a lot of her time. And now she's found out that by May,
Starting point is 03:12:07 she has to do 100 hours of community service, which is a lot of community service if she wants to remain in the National Honor Society. And I don't feel like if we added a car to her life, a driver's license, the only change would be she has to drive herself. What are we laughing at? I didn't tell any jokes.
Starting point is 03:12:28 I'm just remembering when I got assigned to have to do community service to stay in the National Honor Society and I didn't tell my mom or dad until it was like two days, like literally not enough hours to do it. Where I'm like, hey mom and dad, you know that National Honor Society thing? Yeah, I need
Starting point is 03:12:44 to do 100 hours of community service by tomorrow at 4. Either I'm like, hey, Mom and Dad, you know that National Honor Society thing? Yeah, I need to do 100 hours of community service by tomorrow at 4. So either I'm not in this, and I'm not putting this on an application to college, or you're going to sign this and say I picked up litter. And they're like, alright, well, you know, we got us over a barrel here, Taylor. Well done. Really? Do they even hesitate?
Starting point is 03:13:00 Because I feel like my dad would just be like, don't do that community service. Bring that over here and let me sign it but yeah in all seriousness she does seem to be occupied almost like did she oh so um i probably shouldn't put too hope too much hope stuff out there but at her last speech and debate competition she lost her glasses and it turns out she needed new lenses anyway so i'm picking up a good portion of it but she didn't need new frames. So now she has to buy the frames, which she is working off $10 an hour being my slave. And I had her do some data entry recently. She's got one hour knocked off already.
Starting point is 03:13:54 She is going to be my new Chiz. I'm going to wire up the stable, and she's going to be my partner in this thing so that I don't have to run up and down the ladder and all that stuff. So she's my new stable partner. She's going to earn those frames, and I'm going to be psyched about it. have to like run up and down the ladder and all that stuff so she's my new stable partner she's going to earn those uh frames and i'm going to be psyched about it a poor child that poor child
Starting point is 03:14:12 she has i don't know i guess on a week in short but i mean i can attest to her schedule i think it's almost illegal how much she works woody are you telling me that Hope is so brave, so fearless, that she can climb up one of those step ladders? I don't believe it. Yes. Are we talking about a full three feet off the ground? I climb ladders, you cunt. Really? Many ladders and scaffolding.
Starting point is 03:14:42 She is not going on the roof. I bet you could count the ladders you counted on one hand you find no one hand that's not even true oh wait I don't know if it's true but I do know that two hands this is strong chance ok you forget how many times I was on a ladder underneath the roof putting those two by fours in the cross sections that's right yes and there was a roof that's how you got the that's
Starting point is 03:15:05 how you got the ptsd that was the ptsd day yeah yeah you're right i remember that yeah the day yeah so what we would do is the um because i'm not an expert when we sheath the roof if people don't know what sheathing is that's the plywood that goes across all the roofing joists um an expert would have had them fall right on the roofing joists so that two of them sort of landed there. Mine would sometimes be in the middle. So we had to like support the middle with blocking so that it like, if you stepped in the middle,
Starting point is 03:15:32 it wouldn't bow and Chiz would be under the ladder holding it while I was on the roof, nailing it in place. And yeah, so there's probably a lot of ladder time for that, but it's that sort of ladder you'd need to reach up and touch a ceiling not like eight-foot ladder or anything this is not a ladder guy I don't know is it the heights is it
Starting point is 03:16:01 because you're way better at gravity? And the damage? Why is it that you dislike ladders so much? My center of mass is larger. So if you take a line... No, it's not. You're right. But if you look at my shape, I stick out from a ladder more than you do. So my tendency to lean back from said ladder is more than yours.
Starting point is 03:16:24 I do not like being up high. It is not. Just admit you're afraid of heights. I am. I said that. But at the same time, it has to do with falling. The reason I'm afraid of heights is because of falling. That is why.
Starting point is 03:16:38 It's from the falling aspect. When I was a teenager, my mom, she was heavier than she wanted to be at the time. She's thinner now, actually. She's lost weight. But when I was a teenager, she fell off a ladder. It was a teenager, my mom, she was heavier than she wanted to be at the time. She's thinner now, actually. She's lost weight. But when I was a teenager, she fell off a ladder. It was a step ladder. She was maybe on the second step, like two feet off the ground. And she hurt her knee bad.
Starting point is 03:16:54 I don't know what it was, like somewhere on the level of a torn ACL. She couldn't walk for a while. My wife took care of her, girlfriend at the time. And the reason that she busted up her knee compared to like what would have happened to i don't know uh jackie onassis is she weighed more and she took more damage when she fell and when chiz was cautious of that i remembered that my mother had that issue that she heard her knee falling off a two-foot ladder i'm like that could happen to Chiz. I see where he's coming from. Because he's better at gravity. What do you want about the rate of falling?
Starting point is 03:17:28 I will take more damage than if Woody jumped off the roof. Chiz is awesome at gravity. Chiz, do you also suffer from osteoporosis? No. I think he might. Why would he suffer from osteoporosis? I don't get this joke.
Starting point is 03:17:43 It's an elderly thing. It's an old lady thing, yeah. Woody's mom was in her prime when she fell, I'm sure. Well, I'm just trying to make a connect. I'm just trying to make fun of you little bitches for not wanting to. Well, while I'm not good at going up, I'm very good at going sideways and knocking down walls with my massive center of gravity. He would. I would be.
Starting point is 03:18:03 Again, it's the same size. That's just nonsense words. That doesn't mean anything. No, we would have to... I use fancy words. We would have to tear the siding off of the building, right? Because we were tearing it down. We did demo before we built it back up again.
Starting point is 03:18:16 The siding was rotted and had vines. And I would go to the top and do a Spider-Man thing where I'd attach straps and stuff to it. And then Chiz would go from the bottom and just sort of pull backwards like a donkey maybe. And he'd just tear the stuff down. It was pretty good. We worked as a team.
Starting point is 03:18:39 We got it done. The barn looks stable, I guess. It looks excellent now. It looks excellent. I'm sure it's improved since the last photo you sent me, but, man, it looks legit. Liked it a lot. I like the color.
Starting point is 03:18:50 Yeah. I bet I could show a picture to the camera. I could find one. So what's our bet, Chiz, on the election results? It's kind of a multi-tiered bet, so I think I bet that $5 that Rubio would drop out before Tuesday. It doesn't look like that's going to happen, but $5, right? But I think I bet $100 that Trump gets to 1,287 delegates, because I think
Starting point is 03:19:17 he's going to win Ohio next Tuesday, and I think that puts him on a pretty good path to do so. And what was the other part? So five for Rubio, 100 that Trump gets enough for the nomination, and 25 that when it goes to a brokered convention, so I'll lose this one by default if the first one pans out, that Cruz or K-Stitch will be handed the nominee. Gotcha. Okay. Yeah. I'm willing to take more, too. I don't know if I'm not taking any of those bets
Starting point is 03:19:45 I gave one to Woody about the Democratic one too I mean I got it wait did I take a bet I don't think I have you didn't take one I proposed a bet what was the bet again that Sanders and Clinton will get all the way to the convention and there will be 200 delegates that's I'm not saying who wins because I would put money on Hillary but I say it's a close race, and there's 200 delegates spread between the two of them. I would take that vote if I weren't already going on the Trump train here. I think he's going to get a 1287, because I think he takes Ohio and Florida next Tuesday, and I think that that really just gets rid of Kasich, perhaps, and Rubio.
Starting point is 03:20:25 And then when it's a one versus one with Cruz, at that point he needs to win about 50% of the delegates to lock the nomination if he takes Ohio and Florida next Tuesday. And I think against Cruz he can take 50%. Because he's, I mean, getting up there in the high 30s and low 40s in some of the polls in different states now. I looked at Six different polls for Ohio. He was leading in every one as of three days ago
Starting point is 03:20:50 I now I've seen a CNN poll where Kasich is ahead by five. It's gonna go back and forth this week It's it's a it's kind of a coin flip but cases it is very popular in that state Very popular governor polls just don't I don't matter is a stretch i think you know i think polls are pretty indicative of who actually wins but um for some reason trump always seems to underperform his polling like it not that he's losing but if he pulls at 40 he gets he wins with 36 if he pulls at 50 he wins 45%. And I don't know why. Maybe his ground game is weak compared to the experienced politicians or something. I don't know.
Starting point is 03:21:29 But I don't know. Sometimes it's not, though, right? Like in South Carolina, he wasn't polling very well, and he destroyed it. Same thing in Nevada. Sometimes he under-polls and over-succeeds. I think it goes back in both ways. Maybe I have a confirmation bias or something and I just see what I want to see.
Starting point is 03:21:51 I don't know. I bet he wins Florida, loses Ohio. But at that point, Kasich is so far behind. I'm betting no one gets enough delegates at this point like everyone else is almost mathematically out of it because they're not going to win any
Starting point is 03:22:09 states trump is getting harder every time he's cruises the only candidate who can mathematically still win he has to win every he has to win every winner take all and he has to start winning decently in the other remaining states, which are winner-take most. Yeah, you've got to be a close second. I mean, like I said to Kyle the other day, if Trump took every winner-take all, that would put him about 40 delegates, 40 to 60, I forget, over the nominee requirement. And he's not going to win Ohio. And I bet he splits in Illinois with Kasich. We shall see you next Tuesday, my friend.
Starting point is 03:22:43 I think he's going to take Ohio. I hope he takes Ohio I've been fascinated by this whole election cycle it's so entertaining so so so so entertaining and it's all because of Donald Trump the campaign that he has run is unlike anything
Starting point is 03:22:59 else ever seen before and it's just I mean it creates so many highlight reels so many funny videos so it creates so many highlight reels so many funny videos so many memes so many jokes um and it turns out that that might be more important than a than a political background and a good plan uh if uh to as far as the voters are concerned so which is interesting stuff i have a question for. How have you been getting guests that are so much better than PKA has ever had before? Yes, I'm curious.
Starting point is 03:23:29 I work hard. But, like, what is the technique? Do you use your Twitter a lot? Do you have, like, a media packet that you send out to draw people in? Like, what do you do? Sometimes I use Twitter if there's no other way to reach out to them, hoping I catch them when they're active. But otherwise I try to find, like find an email or some kind of business contact
Starting point is 03:23:48 through someone's agent or something through their website somewhere and scour around for an email. And I send over, I've got a pre-written out thing I send to everyone I'm reaching out to as a guest with numbers and why it'd be good. And then I have a media packet that goes with that. Just working real hard to get the day and make the show even better. You're doing a good job. Yeah, a lot of people have appreciated your...
Starting point is 03:24:11 I was on a guest hot streak, and then fucking Mr. POTUS over here threw that for a whirl. Hopefully we have Tim Kennedy next week. He said yes. He asked for the call-in information tonight and I had to tell him, we're on Skype. Do you know what Skype is? Hopefully, get Tim
Starting point is 03:24:32 Kennedy on camera. That'd be nice. He was over somewhere doing something for two weeks. Is he still fighting? I think so. He's doing something fighting related. Fighting is a broad thing with him. He's a soldier and that was the aspect of fighting that I meant like right it do they do they ring him up when they need a couple of guys killed I think so I think he's part of
Starting point is 03:24:53 some battalion or squad because he was just over somewhere like he took pictures of his cot and he's got pictures of all these other guys with him and guns and stuff like so wherever he was before for two weeks he had like no internet or access of communication and he was sleeping in a cot so dude i think tim kennedy is still active in some regard to the military so uh being in the public eye he gets death threats all the time right you know whatever even as a ufc fighter i'm sure there's idiots out there who want to kill you for one thing or another and and um he started i guess when they found out he was special forces, like the UFC was marketing him as a special forces guy. Cause he is. And, uh, he started
Starting point is 03:25:30 getting death threats from ISIS. So the, uh, the CIA, you know, reaches out to him and says, look, man, you know, we're concerned. We've got like credible threats that there are people from the Middle East who are trying to kill you. And he's like, how concerned about this should I be? People try to kill me all the time. That's what I do. And they're like, I don't know. Well, we're concerned. So Tim Kennedy's fucking response? He makes t-shirts.
Starting point is 03:25:57 And they say, ISIS, send whoever you want, but don't send anyone you want back. And it was just like, now he's selling t-shirts. He's got a brand called Ranger Up or something. Send anyone you want, but don't send anyone you want back. Well, shit. Not scared.
Starting point is 03:26:17 And it'd be pretty cool if he was our guest. He's an impressive person that's done a lot. Yeah. He's a great fighter, too. Yes. Yeah. He's currently ranked like seventh or something but i looked at the six guys in front of him and i'd pick kennedy like in five of those fights or something like well i mean i think they just pushed bisping up to like number four in that
Starting point is 03:26:35 division too and you know he beat bisping yeah he's beaten a bunch of those guys like a lot of people that are ranked ahead of him he's's already beaten. So yeah, it's funny Tim Kenny's like this is the only time I'm rooting for Michael Bisping in the civil fight You know, he was rooting for him a lot of people were that was you know, yeah Anderson Silva lost a lot of fans when he got busted for steroids or performance enhancing drugs, whatever they were Yeah, fuck that Brazilian Yeah, fuck that Brazilian. Yeah, I... There seems to be a correlation there.
Starting point is 03:27:08 I don't know. But then Americans do PEDS, too. What was the tennis player that just got caught using the performance enhancing drug? I don't know. I didn't even hear about that. The female Russian.
Starting point is 03:27:22 Yeah, there's been like eight more Russian athletes that have come out to... Sharapova or something like that? Yeah about that. The female Russian. Yeah, there's been like eight more Russian athletes that have come out to us. Sherepova or something like that? Yeah, Sherepova maybe. Sherepova? Yeah. Apparently it's some medication, some heart medication,
Starting point is 03:27:32 but you're normally prescribed it for four to six weeks, and this bitch has been taking it for ten fucking years, and she's won like just dozens and dozens of, you know, accolades. And it doesn't look good. But I saw that it's recently been added to the banned substances list, I think this year. But she's been taking it for 10 years.
Starting point is 03:27:52 She tested positive. All of her sponsors, except for, I think, Head. Head is a tennis racket manufacturer. They make skis, too. Yeah, they make skis. Yep. Cool.
Starting point is 03:28:02 Well, everybody but them seem to have dumped her. Nike, Tag Heuer, Porsche. She lost a lot of big money sponsorships this week. I'm sure she's set. Yeah, you would hope so, right, at this point in her career, but it's
Starting point is 03:28:18 pretty disgraceful for it to go this way. And like I said, eight more Russians tested positive for this shit. It was either eight or ten wow it sounds like Like a Russian thing kind of That's like we need some of this stuff every time I hear about one of these like products that they're using I'm like how do I get some that stuff right where they were talking about the stuff that Mark McGuire was using back in the day and we were All like where do we get some?
Starting point is 03:28:42 Fucking home run I it some yeah i want to hit some fucking home run please that guy's skull i want that because i i'm friends with joe lozon and he's a clean athlete it's changed like i'm really hard on these cheats uh if i had never met joe i think i would have been for like an all steroid league you know like oh yeah bigger crazy action figure people whatever but now But now it's like, dude, fuck. Like, Anderson Silva used this shit for a decade, you know, broke records, made millions. How would the world have been different if all the steroid users weren't on steroids? You know, I'm not calling any particular. Well, his retina would have been attached still.
Starting point is 03:29:22 You're thinking of Bisping. Oh, sorry, Bisping. Yeah, yeah. You know, like, Joe has like 22 fights. Guarantee some of those guys were on steroids. It has to be. You just don't fight 22 UFC fighters and not run into a guy in the pre-Usada days who didn't take roids. Yeah, I think I said it right.
Starting point is 03:29:39 Anyway, so yeah, I don't like the cheats. I don't like the cheats. I watched Misha Tate on Fight Pass earlier today fighting a woman who looked like a man. Joe Rogan was like for a 135 pound woman she's got more power than
Starting point is 03:29:56 I think Misha's used to. This woman was a really accomplished wrestler. Did she lose? She had an incredible fight was it was that her name cat zingago i don't recall i just remember she had an she had a great he kept talking about her uh her right hand and she kept throwing this combo that that like she this overhand right and then little a little left to follow it up that she missed a couple
Starting point is 03:30:21 times but first round she hits misha with it staggers her badly she wins the first round but then Misha wins rounds two and three pretty handily on the ground and they were making the point that the the girl that Misha beat what being such an accomplished wrestler didn't have very much experience from her own back you know she's used to being in a dominant position on top all the time and then now all of a sudden it's not collegiate style it's it's it's jiu-jitsu so there's strikes mixed in and she's used to being in a dominant position on top all the time. And then now all of a sudden it's not collegiate style. It's, it's, it's jujitsu. So there's strikes mixed in and she's on the bottom and she just couldn't handle it. There's elbows raining down constantly.
Starting point is 03:30:51 Yeah. In wrestling, uh, of course, if your back is to the ground, you're getting pinned and that's terrible. So like, for example, let's say I was hypothetically to take down a wrestler, they would flip over and land belly first, like wide, you know, they'd land like this because they're not going to – like putting your arms out is dangerous in fighting because you're giving people gifts and they can bend them the wrong way. But in wrestling, it's making sure you don't get rolled over.
Starting point is 03:31:15 So they land on their belly like that, and that's giving up your back in MMA. So they don't spend very much time. They're just inexperienced on going to the pin position. very much time. They're just inexperienced on going to the pin position. And Joe's so good at talking his way through what's going on in the mat and making me understand what's going on.
Starting point is 03:31:31 He's like, she should have her arms inside right now. She should be pivoting her hips. She should be popping. She should be bridging up anything to get her off, and she's not doing that. And I was like, oh, yeah, that makes sense. And he was pointing out their leg work. He's like, she should be hooking that leg. She should be trapping it.
Starting point is 03:31:46 She should be spinning around trying to get free. And it went the distance, and it was a decision, but it was a Misha Tate win. I think Ronda Rousey had beaten the chick just previous to that fight. But I just remember the woman that Misha Tate was fighting looked very masculine and her shoulders and arms were just terrifying. A lot of these women are just getting scarier and scarier.
Starting point is 03:32:14 Rhonda looks scary too. Outside of fights, Rhonda can sometimes look a little fat to my eyes. But when she's getting closer to the weight cutting, man, Ronda is just, she's born to fight. As soon as someone loses a fight, I feel like MMA fans turn way too hard. Conor McGregor is still amazing. Muhammad Ali lost fights, you know. He came back and got stronger. Conor McGregor went up a weight class. Nate was long, and he's particularly good at what connor's
Starting point is 03:32:46 good at also and uh you know and it wasn't it was a close fight it wasn't uh it could have gone yeah i like connor i thought won the first gassed out and uh and you know if i've watched the fight a bunch of times now connor i when i first watched the fight i thought nate clipped him and then suddenly it was a changed fight and it was a big deal. After watching it more, I was like, oh, Conor didn't get ruined because he got hit. Conor got hit because he got exhausted. And, you know, just for whatever reason,
Starting point is 03:33:18 couldn't go as long as he had to. Doesn't seem like there's any excuse for that, because that's the easy stuff. That's the stuff that you and I, given the time could accomplish is cardio cardio is just cardio You know it's it's it's doing rounds on the bag or it's it's it's literally just running a That disappoints me when someone who seems to be skilled so skilled You know physically and and and have so many talents and then it's cardio I don't know what it is exactly.
Starting point is 03:33:46 I've got a couple things going on. One, he had more muscle than he had in previous fights, I think, to my eye. And kind of like a muscle car. You know, they just burn cardio more than a thinner guy. You know, whenever you see like the Joel Romero's or the Hector Lombard's in there, the guys who were just like jacked for their weight class, they typically run out of gas a little faster than the other guys do. So that might have been it. Or it could also be an adrenaline jump.
Starting point is 03:34:11 That happened to Lozon. I forget which fight. But there was a fight where he gassed out like after a round and a half or so. And all the haters were like, oh my God, too much time on your Xbox as they type on their keyboards. And he since learned to manage the adrenaline dump. You know, he came out there. He was like the super him.
Starting point is 03:34:32 And then the adrenaline wore off and he wasn't anymore. And that's something that fighters have to learn to deal with. Maybe that hit him. You know, it would probably hit me, too. What do I know about UFC fighting? So, I don't know. Sometimes fighters gas halfway through a fight. And it's not because they didn't train.
Starting point is 03:34:49 It's because, you know, they gassed out. Yeah. I enjoyed that fight, I guess. It wasn't all that I had hoped it was going to be, I suppose. I really thought he was going to win that for some reason. I wanted Conor to win. I am a Conor fan. I like him. I'm a Diaz fan too.
Starting point is 03:35:08 But I like MMA to have something great. There are times in basketball when you've got a Bird versus Johnson, when you have a Michael Jordan, when you have a greatness. And then there are times when there aren't. There's a different MVP every
Starting point is 03:35:25 year and like you know it's kind of balanced it's fun when Jordan exists while you're watching it's fun when you realize like oh we have a Muhammad Ali right now this is incredible and to watch Connor in his weight class anyway just knock everybody out
Starting point is 03:35:41 except for Max Holloway in the first round or two and talk the way he talked, and back then walk the way he walked, like, you're like, yeah, we have a Muhammad Ali right now, you are living through a Wayne Gretzky, and that only stays true if he keeps winning, and I, that's how it felt, you know, and I'm not saying he was the best fighter, I, like, I recognize he's a little one-dimensional and such but in terms of like my excitement look i got excited to watch mcgregor fight i really like watching that dude fight and um i really liked watching that dude hype a fight
Starting point is 03:36:16 yeah i uh i know i like what go on i so so i like the antics in there. So what I don't get excited about is really boring, basic stuff. If their technique is just something that I've seen a thousand times before, if it's jiu-jitsu on the ground, they're shooting and trying to avoid takedowns, and then there's some stand-ups, some dirty boxing, oh, we're on the ground. Elbow, elbow, elbow. Long periods of time against the fence with ineffective knees. But when McGregor goes out there,
Starting point is 03:36:52 he's going to do a cartwheel and try to do some sort of cartwheel spin kick. And he's probably not going to hit it. Probably not. I haven't seen him really connect with any of that crazy shit. I haven't seen any of those question mark kicks do a thing yet, but I like watching them. I like watching them. I like watching them.
Starting point is 03:37:06 I like when he does a barrel roll across the mat or does some monkey stuff. Or it looks like he's doing some drunken boxing out there all of a sudden. I like that a lot. And it's all about being a showman. And he's found that really important medium there between being a showman and being a piece of shit like Anderson Silva like I watched that guy go out there and I know they play that clip of him like fucking dodging a dozen punches ok sure that that's great but you dodging them because because you
Starting point is 03:37:36 wouldn't get anywhere near the guy all fucking night he's just frustrated like you've been you've been running from that guy all night long for like 20 three six nine like 15 minutes or something like that and he's just frustrated and tired anderson silva arguably the best counter puncher in mma history right great fighter it's roid head but whatever um but kyle's right you know like he's making you come at him and i get a little frustrated by that he's doing a dance as if he's clowning you no you fuck you're doing that dance because you want him to come at you aggressively and it worked but when it doesn't it's the most boring fucking fight ever the day the most recent one yeah or yeah that incredibly frustrating uh is that the one where dana white
Starting point is 03:38:24 didn't even want to bring the belt in there might have been i'm not sure about that but uh yeah and him against bisping was another one where he just you know walked backwards for too many rounds and wondered why you're paying 60 people paying 60 for that shit and you go out there and clown around and be a fucking piece of shit yeah every time that happened, I was thinking, like, the UFC, the way it's kind of set up, it's a little bit Wild West, seemingly. I'm like, I wish Dana White would be like, you know what, fuck you.
Starting point is 03:38:53 50 grand off. You lose 50 grand. We're going to refund that to the fans somehow. It's really bad for his business. His whole business is charging people $60 to watch a fight, and that fight is shit. I'm glad Anderson Silva got caught with the Roids. I'm glad
Starting point is 03:39:09 Bisping beat him up. I hope he's out of the sport. I hope he ends up in some bullshit league. Some 30 for 30? I hope he's in some bullshit fighting league, fighting like Tank Abbott and
Starting point is 03:39:24 some 8-foot- like Tank Abbott and some 8 foot tall African guy and the fridge Perry. I hope he ends up in the freak fights. Nobody finishes on top. You know. Maybe Peyton Manning did but it's super rare. Even like GSP who finished on top
Starting point is 03:39:39 is going to come back and not finish on top. You can't do a comeback at 37 and reclaim your title. You underestimate how much Vaseline that man has at his disposal. He's going to come in, and they're going to be like, where's GSP? He's that puddle right there. Get at it. He's just going to be a little translucent puddle.
Starting point is 03:40:02 That's an old school reference there. Back when BJ Penn was one of the most weird people in the world. I liked BJ Penn. I watched him in The Ultimate Fighter. I think he fought Pettis. Who was he? It was the older guy.
Starting point is 03:40:17 Jens Pulver. I watched him fight Jens Pulver. That introduced me to Jens Pulver. I started liking him a little bit. But I really liked BJ Penn because there was one of those things where, you know, they give the whole fighter's background and all of his accomplishments and his pedigree, and I was impressed by BJ Penn. I liked him a lot, and they keep talking about his cardio and this and that,
Starting point is 03:40:39 and I liked him. And so that GSP fight, I was like, this is going to be good because even though I felt like GSP was overrated, I felt like BJ, as beloved as he was, was underrated. Because he was coming into that as an underdog. And I wanted him to win so bad. And to see that he was just fucking cheating. He was coded. He was glowing.
Starting point is 03:40:58 So BJ Ben is very good on the ground. He's amazing grappling. very good on the ground. He's amazing grappling. And what GSP did is he coated himself with so much Vaseline or baby oil or something that even when you wiped them off of it with a towel, the sweat came out of his pores as a lubricant and not just sweat, but like he was, he was sweating oil and sweating Vaseline to the point where you just,
Starting point is 03:41:21 you could prevent this guy from being greased up and being greased up against such a great BJJ guy let him escape and pull his arm out when an arm with more traction or friction would have not pulled out so uh yeah it was bullshit it was bullshit and he won you wouldn't allow I'm trying to think of a parallel
Starting point is 03:41:40 for another sport but I mean you know they catch that pitcher out there with some pine tar they fucking throw his ass out of the game you had two more cylinders in nascar they're not okay with that you know it's a big deal yeah so uh i like watching mma though i like i i feel almost guilty like these guys work so hard and take some damage and you know it's uh what they do is superhuman and uh i don't know i'm almost not worthy to watch it i like it too i really enjoy it um i get excited and a little afraid before the fight even if i don't know the fighters or anything about them because i know what's at risk i know what's at stake for each of them and it's not you picture yourself in there
Starting point is 03:42:23 right i picture myself in there and and the butterflies and the fear and and some i i sometimes i see the fighters like on while they're walking out they'll kind of like yell really loud or like to get themselves hyped up or something and i'm like he's scared right now that's why he's yelling he's out there going ah because he's like ah be scary because this fucking sucks i don't want to get beat up dude sometimes i don't know why this goes through my head, but when Lozon fights in particular, in my head I'm like making a decision as to whether or not Joe or I should take this fight.
Starting point is 03:42:54 And I feel this sense of relief like, oh, I'm so glad Joe's got this one. He's way more qualified. He's just, between the two of us, he's a much better choice to handle this situation uh i don't know why i process it that way but it's like oh yeah i have a similar mindset yeah like like when i see those guys go in the ring and it's like i i can't imagine that the stress i couldn't stay focused i feel like i feel like i could be a good like when there's no pressure on
Starting point is 03:43:23 like i feel like i could remember all the things I need to remember like okay yeah keep my left hand up keep your left hand up keep your left hand up all right move to the left move to the left pivot pivot pivot all right rotate your hip rotate your hip I can I might be able to remember that when you know we're in practice or we're in my gym or your gym hitting mids but when we're in there and Bruce Buffer it's fucking fucking laying it out there and I look around and there's flash bulbs going off everywhere and it's just like I can feel that mat and that I bet that mat feels different than the mat back home I bet it's newer and rougher or maybe you know it's all different yeah it's really scratchy and there's that guy over there and he's he looks fearless and he's been training for the last six weeks to kill me. And it's time? All right. All right. Oh, no. The other thing is, like, fighting is the win-lose business, right? Like, every fight, one guy goes up the mountain and the other guy goes down. And every fighter is just about two or three fights away from getting cut from the UFC.
Starting point is 03:44:21 You know, if you're on a one-fight losing streak. That's the scary part. Yeah. Yeah. And it's, I don't know how to say it more. UFC. If you're on a one-fight losing streak... That's the scary part. Yeah. I don't know how to say it more. It's the win-lose business. Somehow you can lose in baseball and in football and stuff, and it's okay.
Starting point is 03:44:36 Yeah. Well, you can't kick out a whole team every time they fail. Right. If a team goes, I don't know, 6-10 this year, most of those guys will be back next year. Literally, most of those guys keep their job. You go 6-10 in the UFC, you're gone.
Starting point is 03:44:55 You won't even get that far, probably. Probably not. It's the win-loss business, and it's super rough. Incredibly entertaining, though. I'm looking for the next... Will we ever step up to gladiatorial games again? Do you think that's coming? No.
Starting point is 03:45:11 No? UFC already had their human cockfighting phase. Oh, man. I know we've talked about this before, but I think that would be highly entertaining. I agree. Not going to happen, though. Roman-style gladiators, swords and shields.
Starting point is 03:45:26 I don't see why, if you're sentenced to death, why not try to fight for your freedom? Come on. I don't know. Make Death Race real. It would be fucked up. No, Death Race seems like a terrible idea, but getting them into a big arena with swords and shields... No, that's a good idea. Yeah, no, the one with cars.
Starting point is 03:45:42 Contain the carnage, right? You're talking about a nationwide death race where we put these convicts in high-powered motor vehicles with weapons attached. Can you compromise on Running Man, you know, with Mr. Freeze and whatever? No, Sub-Zero! Sub-Zero.
Starting point is 03:45:59 No, just Plane Zero. He's just like, who wrote this shit? I've seen the Running Man a dozen times. I love that shit. Schwarzenegger just doesn't give a fuck. And that Latino chick, Latina chick, wearing that onesie with the camel toe is so fucking hot running through there. Ah, that's great. That's a good one.
Starting point is 03:46:20 I'm a big fan of the camel toe. I think it's a good look and that more women should do it because it's attention-grabbing and they love that. I love the camel toe. Yeah, and this modern era of women wearing so many yoga pants and so many similar bottoms, lots of camel toe to go around. I see it all the time. Tons of camel toe. My next business venture is going to be women's clothes, right? Camel toes and then bras with perky nipples just built into them. So if they're not perky, it
Starting point is 03:46:49 looks that way over your shirt. That does not seem like it's going to sell. At all. Oh, please. It's the next big thing. No, it's a sports bra. You don't understand. It's for when they're running. Yeah, it'll be at the gym. It'll just be a sports bra with fake perky nipples.
Starting point is 03:47:07 And telling you, everyone at the gym will wish they were with you. Don't show that to the audience. It's going to be a huge hit. Okay, look at something, and I'm not going to show you guys. Wow. This is the finest camel toe to be had. She knows she's rocking the camel toe so much that she's covering her camel toe.
Starting point is 03:47:28 I mean, I think she's wearing a cup. So that's Kate Hudson right there. If you search Kate Hudson camel toe, you'll get there. And there's a lot of related images that are really just as good. Lots of camel toe here. It's good stuff. I think there's a camel toe subreddit.
Starting point is 03:47:45 Women in the Orange. Yes, they's good stuff. I think there's a camel toe subreddit. Women in the orange. Yes, they are very hot. I think they are... Yes. Oh, they all have camel toes. You know what awesome subreddit that I don't hear mentioned very much? Bikini Bridge. Bikini Bridge.
Starting point is 03:47:58 Yeah. And what is that about? Is that about a vaginal mound? No, it's... Or they're on a bridge? I know what it is. Let me guess, let me guess, let me guess. Is it the bridge that is created
Starting point is 03:48:09 between sort of the mound of the vagina and the hip bones? Yes, but I don't feel like the mound of the vagina plays a role. If she's lying on her back. She's lying on her back typically and the hip bone, I guess the belly is so flat
Starting point is 03:48:23 that the hip bones protrude a little bit. And you don't usually see under the bikini, or at least not anything good, but there's like an imagination zone there where like, ooh, I can see in that bikini. Can't see shit. Ooh, imagination zone. Yeah, I'm telling you, dude, check out the Bikini Bridge subreddit. Tell them what he sent you, and I swear you're going to be happy for my recommendation. It's good stuff.
Starting point is 03:48:47 Maybe I will. For the Camel Toe Subreddit. It's good stuff. I mean, I don't mean to knock the Camel Toe Subreddit. I just feel like Bikini Bridge is pro tip right there. Fair enough. Alright. Got at least 10 more minutes to go so kyle what do you do with the bulk of your day today i got up at oh didn't you say you were working super hard recently
Starting point is 03:49:20 remember you yeah this is like a few days ago yeah Yeah, I'm building a few things. He's wearing jeans so you know he was working today. I'm actually not wearing jeans. You're wearing pants though. I saw. Yeah, but they're sweatpants. These are my old maybe sweatpants. They're very funny. They're very comfy. They're so comfy. Yeah, today I got up
Starting point is 03:49:40 at like... I got up at 8.30 took a shower got ready and then I waited on the cable guy to get here um kind of kind of made sure that that got done and then it was 11 by the time that was over um went to my dad's place um i had three guns to kind of zero the scopes in did that hung out with him for another two or three hours, went to a friend's house, returned something to him that I had borrowed, some gun equipment. Came home, watched two or three hours of TV and what else did I do?
Starting point is 03:50:18 I had a few phone calls to make, maybe an hour's worth of phone calls. I had to call one of my lawyers and I had to call for some licensing stuff. I had to call someone from the state of Georgia and set a few things up. That's about it. Didn't really do anything too labor intensive. Last week I was building a lot of stuff. We built a porch and some target holders and among other things. My days have not been that interesting. I've been working late nights, which means I kind of sleep my morning away. You know, I'm, I'm, I feel like I'm waking at 11 and maybe even laying in bed till like 1130 or something. And, uh, then I don't know. Oftentimes I do something around the house during the daylight. I might split an hour worth of wood or today I went in the crawl space and looked at the insulation and some other stuff and then uh like
Starting point is 03:51:09 Woodycraft kicks up again you know check in with people see what they need we got a bigger hard drive because we have this factions reset coming tomorrow and uh I needed to get a bigger hard drive and that's just even though it's not me doing it oh my god you know back and forth with the questions that like it's the support it's it took like six hours of being on top of them to get it done and uh that's i guess woody craft after i get up like that kind of thing so yeah but tomorrow we have a reset and i think it's going to go good we worked really hard on it hope it goes smooth
Starting point is 03:51:51 thank you I know this is the third time I've brought it up but it's really present on my mind are you staying at his house or at a hotel are you spending the night or are you coming back? What's up? Probably gonna spend the night at a hotel or something. I think I think I'd like that It's probably what I'm gonna do depends what all we get into like I said I'm gonna bring a flamethrower
Starting point is 03:52:18 And I think it'd be funny to make like a 30-second little like quick promo that I'd do the voiceover of later and like just Add it together myself like me from the finest ingredients in south carolina you know just we could have some fun with it um you get you're asian in this promo for some reason no no that was um i don't know we'll figure figure out a persona to be the voice, the hot sauce voiceover guy. But mostly I'm going to get his photograph wearing the chef's hat, holding a plate of hot wings, and get that for the bottle. That's going to turn out cool. I'm excited to see those.
Starting point is 03:52:59 Yeah, as soon as I get the designs of that to the hot sauce company, they'll print them, ship them, and we'll have hot sauce in hand to ship out pretty soon. I think the hot sauce and the knives are going to come to fruition at virtually the same time. Maybe within a week of each other. That's going to be good.
Starting point is 03:53:17 Save your money, people. We've got shit coming soon. It's going to be cool. I'm looking forward to seeing Wings. I haven't seen Wings since we did the FBS boot camp. So I think that'll be interesting. I haven't been to his house in like three years. I went up there January 1st, like 2013, 2012. I don't know which one it was.
Starting point is 03:53:36 But Woody was with me. Went up there and had a good time. Got to meet the whole Wings of Redemption clan. I remember I blew up like a pound of Tannerite in his backyard. That was my first time seeing Tannerite blow up and it was pretty neat. Like I'd blown up firecrackers and stuff like that. Even, you know, like biggish ones. Like if you've
Starting point is 03:53:52 blown up an M80, you might think like, oh my god, quarter stick of dynamite. No, dude. A pound of Tannerite, like my hair doesn't move, right? Like it's kind of helmet-like. And this stuff, he shot it and like the shockwave was just like, whoop. It hit.
Starting point is 03:54:12 There's a hit to it. And I was like, oh, my God. I just felt a shockwave. That was a thing. And it was really loud. And it was like a physical push on you. And it was my first time feeling that so pretty cool yeah yeah that was fun uh i think that was one probably wings first tenorite experience
Starting point is 03:54:31 too we did it right in his backyard we're pretty close to that that was good stuff yeah maybe 25 feet or something something like that like you i don't know i just kind of seemed to know what he was doing. Yeah. The way I look at it, you only got a problem. There's a facade of knowledge. You only have a problem if there's something for the explosive to send back at you,
Starting point is 03:54:55 unless you're dealing with a high explosive, then you got a pressure wave that could liquefy your organs, but we're not dealing with anything like that. So the fear would be that that Tannerite would go off and then a piece of gravel next to it or a nail that we don't see in the ground is then forced
Starting point is 03:55:08 at us with a lot of speed and that hits us. But since it was just Tannerite in its little container and it just went poof, there's nothing going on. I wonder how he's really doing. I haven't had a heart-to-heart in some time. I know that
Starting point is 03:55:23 financially he ran into a couple bumps in the road say a year ago but that's not now. Now he seems to be doing okay financially. He's not under any like duress. But his videos imply that he's not that happy. He's having a hard time just
Starting point is 03:55:39 finding joy and I don't know. I wonder what's going on. Hopefully he's looking forward to this trip with, or not trip, but Kyle coming over. That's neat. Maybe that'll have his spirits up. Yeah. Temporary, but cool.
Starting point is 03:55:54 Yeah. I think so. It should be fun. I'm not sure exactly what we're going to do. I'm really not. I was hoping that Woody would join me on this trip, so that it wouldn't just be me by myself. I'm really not. I was hoping that Woody would join me on this trip so that it wouldn't just be me by myself. I'm sorry, it is the day of
Starting point is 03:56:09 our factions reset at WoodyCraft.net and I badly need to be there. That'll be okay. We'll figure out something to do. Maybe we'll go again in April. I'm always down to go to Wings of Redemption's house. That might be neat. Then we'll get some vlogs out of it and good stuff.
Starting point is 03:56:27 That'd be pretty cool. That'd be neat. Taylor. Are we getting close to the end here? Yeah. I just want to know, Taylor, what do you do during the course of a day? You have me curious. Today.
Starting point is 03:56:41 Well, I went to work for late morning, afternoon-ish, came back, cleaned for a little bit, and then my brother was going to my other brother's lacrosse game, so he came over for a little while when I got back home, and we played some NHL 15, and then I had dinner, and then I have been talking to you guys. So did you kick, I imagine you completely outclassing him at NHL 15 and then I had dinner and then I have been talking to you guys so did you kick I imagine you completely outclassing him at NHL 15 uh yes you could talk trash the entire way did you take advantage of that no oh Taylor wasn't being a dick about it I'm disappointed it's a game like that and there's not many people who play with you, you're very nice to all opponents. Ask yourself, what would Trump do?
Starting point is 03:57:28 Dominate? It's a Canadian game. He would beat the other Canadian. That's how he's doing it now. My favorite thing about Donald Trump is that the people who don't like him get very upset if anyone else does like him.
Starting point is 03:57:44 And I like that. and i like that the people who don't like him vehemently despise him my dad was talking about this he was at some store buying something and some people he knew were just going on oh trump's a bastard he's a son of a bitch and dad's like so i just fall right in with him you know i like to fit in yeah fuck him and it's not my dad's not political by any means but you know i he just kind of knows what i know i'm i'm like well you know ted cruz ain't a booger you don't want him to be your president that other guy he's a lightweight from what i hear and i can't even spell that k-man's name so that black doctor fell asleep about two weeks ago so it's gotta be trump let's do it.
Starting point is 03:58:26 Oh, he's overlooked the Hillary argument. And the Bernie one. Oh, he had some choice words about Bernie. Ah, I can't repeat them. We try to keep Painkiller at X maximum. I literally can't repeat
Starting point is 03:58:44 what my father said about Bernie Sanders. Did not like him. He thought that he was just as bad as Hillary, though, more or less. In some ways, he's worse, and in some ways, he's better than Hillary. I feel like he's an honest man doing what he thinks is best. I just don't agree with what's best and that's that's where i am with that guy that's how i feel about trump too just an honest man doing what he feels is best and absolutely that's the troll right there trump train trump train i love it
Starting point is 03:59:18 i love that they hate it it's so sweet. I love it. I love seeing the people who are so frustrated with him. I gotta vote for somebody on the 15th. I don't know who to vote for exactly. Is it an open election? Could you vote for Sanders? Yeah. I could vote for anybody, I think.
Starting point is 03:59:40 I think you should vote for Sanders. I hear North Carolina could be in play for him. It's within 10. But that would make Sanders that much closer to winning, which is not something I want. I feel like there's other people I want. He's not going to win, but you want him in there as long as possible to take his money. You don't want Hillary going to general election mode anytime soon.
Starting point is 04:00:00 You want her spending her money, time, resources, dealing with this Sanders guy and trying to try to focus on that as soon as she starts pointing her guns toward the GOP it it it doesn't bode well for the GOP and I mean anything but but Hillary anything but Hillary if there were like a nazi party like I'm a little while you get anything but Hillary yeah is on the bottom of the list.
Starting point is 04:00:27 I can't deal with it for a lot of reasons. I'm not a single-issue voter, but her stance on guns, like, I'm more anti-gun than you. Oh, you can't handle how anti-gun I am. I'm the most anti-gun guy ever. You're not selling me. It's like a Republican bragging
Starting point is 04:00:42 about being anti-gay. Yeah. You know what Trump said tonight? Maybe I misunderstood him. While we were doing the show, I opened Fox News and it started autoplaying this thing. And I heard him, he was talking about, he said, there would be no better friend to Israel than me. And he goes on to say that he's got a daughter who's Jewish or she's married to a Jewish man, I think, and she's an Orthodox Jew, and his granddaughter's Jewish, half Jewish or whatever. And then he was like, last year, I guy in the Jewish gay pride parade in New York.
Starting point is 04:01:31 He's the GOP without some of their ridiculous religion stuff in it. Yeah, I like that. I like that stuff. I feel like you can only go on what he said recently. I feel like you should ignore a lot of that stuff he says. Look, he's Donald Trump, but he's the best chance we've got that's not Hillary. And I can't have Hillary. And I just can't have Hillary.
Starting point is 04:01:59 So anything is better. Anything is better than Hillary. And if that means Trump, then I'm on the Trump train. I don't vote anyway, so who gives a fuck? Same vote. I don't know. I might vote for Kasich over Trump. But he's so anti-Planned Parenthood that's not my cup of tea either.
Starting point is 04:02:16 I just feel like all of them have showstoppers with me. I don't know what to vote for. Don't you want the wall, Woody? Don't you want the wall? John McAfee. I'm voting for John McAfee. I want that wall. I want't you want the john mcafee i'm voting for john mcafee i want that wall i want it bad he'll make a firewall
Starting point is 04:02:29 nicely played i like it i like it ended on that high joke yes all right so that was painkiller already episode 273 jesus yeah jewish gay pride parades are a thing. Look it up. Hillary for prison 2016. That guy's on. He's got a thing. I don't care if people get pissed off infamous reflex. Bye all. Good night everyone.

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