Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #276
Episode Date: April 8, 2016This week on PKA, Richard Ryan from Rated RR joins the guys again and they do a fun trivia game show, they talk about bible stories and discuss UFC 200 and the contenders. ...
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Take two, PKA 276.
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But first things first.
Should we explain that nonsense?
Woody didn't think that I was speaking loud enough.
He was like, you sound like a queer.
And we were all just kind of like, who even says that anymore?
You're whitewashing.
He didn't say queer
you know what he said fruit i don't say that word i don't use that word no the truth is
we did this like 10 seconds ago and his internet cut out while he started so we started over and
i joke you're white watching he didn't say queer you know what he said fruit i don't say that word
i don't use that word no the truth is he we did this like 10 seconds ago
and his internet cut out while he started so we started over and i joked that he didn't speak
loudly enough as if that would help his internet you're whitewashing he didn't say queer you know
what he said fruit i don't say that word i don't use that word no the truth is he we did this like
10 seconds ago and his internet cut out while he started, so he started over.
And I joked that he didn't speak loudly enough
as if that would help his internet issues
because I make the related joke
all the time when people can't get their computers to work
that they're not clicking hard enough.
And anyway.
I know a thing or two about wireless networks
and I imagine that
the amplitude of my voice
is somehow powering up that internet signal,
and that's helping things along.
So if it starts getting wavy, let me know, and I'll start screaming some more.
Louder packets.
I like that, Chiz.
You're absolutely right.
I'm sending out loud packets of information.
Well, actually, in all fairness, that seems to have fixed it.
Bullshit.
Or you could just have Richard Ryan.
Well, we have a guest, Richard Ryan.
Oh, hi.
Hey.
How are you?
I'm awesome.
Fancy seeing you here.
Welcome to the show, man.
Thank you.
You've been getting around?
Going to the SHOT Show?
That's one way of putting it.
You know what? I'm pro-slut.
Swipe right! Swipe right!
Swipe right!
What were you talking about just before we kicked the show off?
You were saying that you've been staying with some kind of pro-fighter
and getting in shape for a couple months?
Oh, yeah.
So, I...
Yeah, well, we got a long podcast.
Why not?
So I packed up my house in California.
And I've been battling with my California dangerous weapons permit for the better part of five years now.
And the CalGuns Foundation and some attorneys were like, hey, look, they've approved you administratively.
and some attorneys were like, hey, look, they've approved you administratively.
They did this crazy field investigation where they just canvassed neighborhoods that I lived and randomly interviewed people being like, hey, do you know Richard's trying to get an assault weapons permit
so he can have machine guns and stuff like that?
And I'm like, this one old lady called me up.
She's like, Richard, I don't know if you're getting in a terrorist organization or what.
I'm like, no, no, no, no, no.
It's just like if I want an 11-round magazine or an off-roster pistol,
like a VP9 or something like that, I have to have a dangerous weapons permit
because it's the state of California.
I'm sure she said, oh, VP9.
Oh, VP9, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, that seems reasonable.
Hey, you're throwing back in the bar right uh and so uh they're like hey
we'll probably need to sue the state to get them to release your permit for lack of due process
because they're just sitting on it because if they deny me then i can appeal it because i have every
reason to be issued it because all the different studios and stuff like that that vouched for me to gun manufacturers and stuff like that uh my business plan everything i make a living
off of firearms and stuff like that so anyways uh they're like the last guy who did that they
inspected his house at like three o'clock in the morning and pretty much rating all the people who try that. And he was in a little
bit of a different situation than me, but he had a AR pistol and one was a rifle or whatever. They
just, they got him with the intent to manufacture a short barreled rifle, where if they tried that
with me,
it'd be a little bit different because technically we're manufacturers,
and the only thing that's prevented me
from bringing a manufactured rifle in the state
is that permit,
whereas he was a little different.
Anyways, long story longer,
I just don't want to be in the state
dealing with legal stuff.
And so it's like, all right,
well, my girlfriend and i split up and yeah
yeah and so she made a bad decision yeah well yeah or yeah well yeah yeah i'm guessing we we
or maybe you made a good decision yes one of those two no it just it was one of those things
it was it was one of those things where it's like never been in a relationship breakup where it wasn't really bad.
You throw gas on the fire and everybody hates each other and it's just a nuclear situation.
But this was like, it's kind of like, okay, we're not getting any younger.
What are we doing?
YouTube and everything else is just, it's not getting any younger. What are we doing? YouTube and everything else.
It's not an easy life for a relationship and everything like that.
And we might be going different ways.
And so, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Long story longer.
Moving on.
Yeah, we were talking about it a few months ago back in Texas.
Yeah, right?
And so I was like, I'm going to put my house in storage.
I'm either going to get a place in Big Bear, super cheap.
It's just the cost of living in L.A. is stupid.
I just get outside of L.A.
Is that Colorado, Big Bear?
No, no, no.
It's like two and a half hours outside of Los Angeles.
So it's up on the mountain.
It's still California.
So it doesn't solve your problem.
It doesn't.
It doesn't.
It doesn't.
But I was like, if I need to have a residence in a state,
the places are super cheap out there because depending on if the permit
needs to be tied to a physical address, then I would have that location.
But then Evan and all the Black Rifle Coffee guys are in Salt Lake,
and I was debating on going up there.
So after a shot, I went and going up there so after shot I went
and stayed up there for a couple of weeks and then I went to El Paso and
stayed with Matt and article 15 guys for a few weeks and then I went up to Vegas
and I stayed with Kit Cope for like three weeks working out and training
with him.
He's the fire.
Was this just immediately post-breakup, like a travel bender?
Yeah, pretty much.
Well, it's more like trying to figure out life and where I want to be
because Los Angeles is not really a great place for somebody
who can be making the exact same living doing something somewhere else.
It's just like the city of L.A. wants 1% of your gross revenue,
and then you've got state income tax on top of it
and all the hurdles associated with licenses and permits.
Why don't you go back to Tennessee?
There's no state income tax, right?
Well, it's funny that you say that because I'm in a haunted house in Nashville right now.
The offices, I can't I can't
really talk about it but I took a job um they'll be making the announcement I think at New Fronts
um working for a company um in the firearms industry no no it's um yeah it's just it's it's
a media company so there's not nothing really to do with firearms but uh
so yeah i they they like they hit my manager up probably in january after shot and it's been a
couple months of negotiating and everything is like i'm not gonna like walk away from my youtube
stuff i need to still be able to do that and um yeah so i'm while I'm single, I'm going to try to juggle two or three full-time jobs again,
like I did like six years ago, which is not the easiest thing in the world, but I feel great,
man. Like I work out twice a day. I get up at like six o'clock in the morning, go to the gym,
or work till like, as soon as we get done
podcasting here and everything i'll leave the office and then go to the gym and go crash out
it's how old are you it's uh 34 yeah because fuck that
yeah well i'm just i'm like i so so Matt and I have this thing back and forth where,
so you know Nate after he beat Connor.
Rogan goes up and interviews him, and he's like, you just shook up the world.
It's like, what do you got to say?
He's like, I'm not surprised, motherfucker.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we have a running gag back and forth where Matt will send me just random points in his day,
and he'll just pull out whiskey and just start chugging it.
And he's like, not surprised, motherfucker.
Wait, so this is just an excuse for him to drink copiously whatever he wants.
That's exactly it.
But he's a veterinarian.
No, no, not that best.
Not demolition rant.
I was like, oh my god.
I pictured this guy at the operating table.
Not surprised, motherfucker.
And then just suturing
some poor dog.
He just pulls a bottle of whiskey out of a dog's
gut or something.
But for me, it's sugar right so
i'll just be randomly it it somewhere and i'll pull out like a chocolate bar or something like
that and so it's always sugar with me but i've like kind of come to terms with like everyone
in my family's diabetic what are you doing what are you doing
you mad man like i should probably rich i should probably get better about my health and uh exercise
and stuff and you know what's crazy is um like you don't go to the gym twice a day well here's the thing here's a strong point um i was on propitia for like 10 years um
and i don't that's the hair so it's hair loss the hair loss that's what i thought it was i should
have given myself okay yeah does it work um yeah take it off it did oh yeah yeah oh yeah oh yeah
okay i mean you see you see my my hair my hairlines retreating like a mofo. You watch my videos and you can kind of tell like two years ago whenever I stopped, maybe three.
But the thing I found was I've never really taken any drugs or pharmaceuticals in my life.
I got hit by a car once.
I took a pain pill so I could sleep after like two days of being up and antibiotics.
And that's about it.
Like no painkillers for any of my surgeries or anything like that. So I haven't been completely
anti-pharmaceutical because that made me a hypocrite for taking Propecia for that long.
But I did notice and it's really – it's kind of interesting to watch like all the previous videos
and see how it affects your hormone levels.
And like I was looking at one video where I was like turned sideways looking over and
my face and my neck was just swollen.
And I was like, you know what?
I probably shouldn't be screwing with my hormones in my 30s.
And so I got off of that stuff and I was like, all right, I got to get better about exercising, eating right, and doing that.
And hopefully that helped.
Did you notice any health differences in your thought process that you thought were caused by hormones?
Or just like, oh, I noticed a little, you know, maybe it's causing you to bloat like steroids do or something.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think it was water retention.
I think, like, I don't know all the science behind it.
But I think there's something to do with estrogen.
I don't know what it is, but that causes maybe water retention.
But you weren't just breaking down crying watching The Simpsons or something?
No, no, no.
Or the other way, like you were aggressive.
Yeah, I mean, life changes are always like emotionally
like challenging um i mean it was like it's really like i mean i feel fortunate enough to
have like people i would call my friends right because you you go through world and you meet a
lot of acquaintances and it's especially i mean you guys in the the digital space you know those
guys like people like hey how's it going and you know it's like hey what's what's happening it's especially, I mean, you guys in the digital space, you know, those guys like people
like, Hey, how's it going?
And, you know, it's like, Hey, what's, what's happening?
And it's like, Oh, let's, we should do something together.
That's great.
And everything.
But like, you know, when you have people, you can like actually have a candid conversation.
You're not even thinking about any of that stuff.
Those are the people you really want in your life.
And for me, I've built those kind of relationships with like phil um and
some other guys on the west coast and everything and it's like you know we'll sit we'll go we'll
watch fights on saturday and not even really think about any of that stuff and it's nice and and
moving away from that back here to the east coast it's like oh fuck what am i doing i gotta start
all over i can just drive two and a half hours down to Atlanta and see Kyle.
I suspect you're very good at making friends.
Yeah, I guess.
I mean, I'm definitely a people person.
And the funny thing about that is,
thank God that I practice what I preach.
And like, you know, like some of the root problems with society,
I feel like be addressed by
you know playing an active role in your family and then playing an active role in your community
and then politics right and you just work your way up and and how i i i kind of
initiate on that or whatever you want to call it um is like i get to know my neighbors and like i'll
just say hey you want to have a barbecue or something this weekend and blah blah blah blah and it's actually worked to
my benefit not that i thought about this in advance but like when the doj was canvassing
the neighbors and stuff because people would think that i'm like some like terrorist organization or
something especially with all the stuff happening in the world and stuff people are like super super
paranoid and everything, but
sorry to go on a rant.
No, that was great. That was awesome.
And let me say this about Richard.
Richard is so friendly and so nice
that when I first met him, I was like,
what's he up to?
What's he up to?
I was like...
What's his angle?
What's his angle? He can't be that nice.
No one's that fucking nice. No one's that fucking nice.
No one's that fucking nice.
Like, I had this conversation.
But I came to find eventually Richard is genuinely the nicest guy that I've definitely ever met on YouTube.
Just the nicest, most genuinely friendly.
Richard's helped me two or three times out tremendously.
And I really appreciate it every time.
So thank you.
I appreciate it. Well, now I know where we stand, Kyle.
I trust you
as far as I can fucking throw you out
I'm not even going there.
Not even a bit.
Me and Taylor have been playing video games all week
and I haven't even come close to winning.
Not yet?
It's a trouncing every night.
You did come close.
Yeah, that's true.
Actually, I did.
What are you playing?
An old game called Age of Mythology.
Oh, let me see.
Okay.
Age of Mythology.
It's just like a real-time strategy.
The last two games that we played right before this were not a good showing on your part.
That was like a little bit of a regression because you were killing it last night for a while.
I had a hard time tonight. I don't know. I don't know. I found your part. That was like a little bit of a regression because you were killing it last night for a while. I had a hard time tonight. I don't know.
I don't know.
I found your temple over in my section and it was all downhill
from there.
I'm dying to know, Richard.
You broke up with your girlfriend because the two
of you were headed in different directions, right?
What directions were you guys
headed in? Was she looking for a
ring and you were just
like i don't see that vice versa children what was the man you're digging you're digging you're
digging um no i no here's uh what did you hate about her most no stop it taylor he's thinking
no no it's it's it's it's challenging right i mean i really like i know you guys
completely understand it um um where she's like actually a really really awesome person like a
really like you know squared away head on her shoulders like really like hearts in the great
place but um it's hard because like she was separated from her family
her family's like in norcal and um yeah it we're both home a lot and with youtube and
a lot of the stuff we do seems like we're just screwing around. We're not actually working. But it is a
business. And there's a little bit of conflict there and maybe a little bit of resentment
between each other and like, oh, he's doing this or instead of doing this. And I told her,
I don't know if we just increasingly became more unhappy over the years. And I intentionally dove deeper into work or if work started to affect the relationship
and kind of like drove us apart.
But that was definitely a big element of it.
And I feel like now, like with the digital space, with whatever you want to call it,
it's completely different
from traditional media where you could have a career that would last 10, 20 years. If
you have an opportunity to capitalize on something, you really need to go hard in the paint as
quick as you can and have fun, enjoy it while you can and just expect the best, prepare for the worst. And I'm not really willing to ease up off the brakes right now.
And, yeah.
Well, so was it kind of like she was seeing you put so much time into your job,
but you just love your job, so it was like she was thinking,
well, he's just having fun all day.
Like that's not even really working, when in reality it very clearly is working it's just fun yeah yeah that would make sense for resentment like
if you have like a partner with a super fun job and you're like an accountant all day and you come
home and they're like oh i shot a bunch of spray paint cans and then we goofed off for a while
well yeah that's that well that's definitely an element. I think every person has their own level of what they need from another person if they're more codependent or more independent.
And that requires more time spent in the relationship, be it at home or wherever.
And I think she needed more time, like more time and because she wasn't getting it, it was a little more challenging
and caused a lot more conflict. Whereas like work became a mistress of some sorts or something
like that where I just, I wasn't doing my job like spending enough time maybe with her and uh yeah you know I thought about I thought about stuff like this um with
regards to like real celebrities you know like some Hollywood you know a-list celebrity and it's
almost fun to laugh at how short the marriages can be they get divorced one and a half years later
and and just you know
it like look at what a train wreck these guys are they don't do relationships well like us
regular people but then you think about it and it's like man if you've had even a taste of that
you know where you travel for like six weeks or you know what have you it it's hell in a
relationship it's super difficult to thrive uh when that
happens so anyway i can kind of see why it's hard yeah i mean it like it's at some point you
you you do have to like make a decision where it's like okay we we spend we spend more time
arguing than we do actually doing something together or being happy together.
Yeah, yeah.
So it's like at some point you have to say,
is this really worth dragging through the ground or should we figure something else out?
Like you say, when it comes to traditional relationships
versus celebrities and stuff like that,
I mean, we were together for seven years.
Wow. Yeah, yeah. like that i mean we we like i mean we were together for seven years so uh yeah it was yeah yeah sounds like she just hopped off the train when it's just steam in the head like right into
money town and she's like nope no luxury life for me you know i'll go account on my own. I'm not going to hitch my wagon to this gun connoisseur.
What the fuck?
I'd date you.
I'd hit it.
I have this thing ingrained in me as a kid where that whole Irish pride thing where it's like it doesn't matter how unhappy you are.
You never quit.
It doesn't matter matter you just keep going
like well so that's like i have a hard time saying no to a lot of a lot of things and and
and especially like relationships and stuff like that that i know take work it's like i don't want
to give up but the more we talked about it more we think about it that's like it work. It's like I don't want to give up. But the more we talked about it, the more we think about it,
it's like it's really – one, it's selfish if you're not willing to commit
all the way and say this is definitively what we want to do because, I mean,
it comes at a cost too because the older we get,
that's a missed opportunity for her to find
somebody else that would be way better for her than me yeah and and so it's you
just kind of have to like put all your pride and emotions aside and say hey
that's just it's probably for the better you know in terms of ours you did it
that way that's like that's a selfless way to do it like you see that maybe she's really wanting a kid, and those years are ticking away.
Oh, fuck that, dude.
I want all the kids.
Oh, you do?
I want a franchise, yeah.
Dude, I want all the kids.
I was joking as many as I can.
I was joking with...
Mormon Amish style.
How many is as many as you can?
Are we talking 5 or 14?
You have to really use
the more women you use.
Exponential.
14 would be great.
So JT
from
Article 15, I told him
he was like,
what are you doing? He's like, you're going back to Nashville
and everything. He's like, yeah i'm i'm doing this job there and i'm gonna keep doing full
mag and stuff and he's like what the fuck are you doing he was like i'll be honest with you
if it all ends tomorrow i'm fine i said i just want an airstream to live in near tactical ranch
that i can get a hot latina chick pregnant and have like 20 kids running around el paso like a
bunch of retarded gangbangers.
All right.
All right.
Who wants some of this action?
I put five.
Hold on.
I'll put five dollars on the fact that he and this girl are back together within a year.
Wow.
Yeah.
Make it 500.
500.
That was inside info, I think.
I'm telling you.
I got a contract with this company for a year, so that's
going to be rough. Oh, she'll be there.
She's coming. Did she move back to NorCal?
Right? You emptied that house. She's semi-mobile
right now.
She's coming. She'll be back.
She's going to be in Nashville
in three months. And I won't
be surprised, motherfucker.
Alright, going full circle here.
So, are they doing a rematch?
Did I read that correctly?
UFC 200 rematch.
Do we know if Joe's on that undercard yet?
Oh, that'd be dope.
I'm not 100% sure.
Because I remember... They keep changing it.
They keep changing it. They keep changing it.
It says he's on the prelims.
Okay, great.
Is that the same thing?
What I want to know is, why are they doing that?
Why are they having that rematch this soon, this quick?
And it's not even for a title or anything, is it?
All that money.
All that money.
You know why?
Because everyone who's fought McGcgregor for the most part
a little i mean think about like this way nate diaz is a fight that's people want to see a fight
and i don't know like the the all the little fight and everything else is like okay yeah it's great
whenever he gets a flash knockout or you know it's it's a big hyped
up fight and everything but i think people want to see him scrap and they know that they're going
to get it with him i mean i just think that's the big money fight and that's what they're going for
is a paycheck and not i have my own theory really yeah yeah uh i think every fight with connor's a
big money fight it doesn't matter if he rematches Aldo, Edgar, Diaz.
They're all going to be big money fights.
I think, and Dana White said this, that Conor's been such a good company man.
His opponent can drop out with 10 days notice.
100% of the time, Conor's like, yeah, whoever.
Just send him.
He fought Mendez, the American wrestler. His kryptonite, on like 10 days notice.
And he's like, yeah, I'll do it.
He fights Nate Diaz.
Nate says, I refuse to make weight.
Conor says, all right, any weight.
I don't care.
Whatever.
I'll do it.
And when you do this, you build up credit with the UFC.
And then they start letting you choose your fights.
And GSP is another guy who did that.
GSP fought Nick Diaz. Nick was coming off a loss to condit and then he got a title shot why because
gsp didn't like him gsp said he was the most disrespectful fighter he's ever met in his whole
career he's like i have never asked for a fight this is nick his brother i've never asked for a
fight in the last like eight years i want you to do me this favor i want you to give me nick ds so i can kick his ass and they did and he did so uh um you know i i think connor has built up some credits
connor though uh recently and and because he lost i think people want to see that and him like come
back and try to beat him will he be the only champion with a
two loss streak if he loses this fight i can't think of another yeah i can't think of a champion
that's ever had a loss before like silver's going in front of another way that would be a crazy
record right silver fought at 205 every so often but he won all those. I can't think of another champion who ever
fought in that class.
I don't know. He fought
at different weight classes, but I want to say if he
ever did, he had to abandon his belt to change
classes.
Yeah.
But
anyway, in the circles
I am, which is like the MMA subreddit and forums now and then, people want to see him fight Edgar the most.
Of course.
Yeah, right?
I mean, that's the toughest fight right there at that weight class for sure.
So for them to give him Diaz again like an immediate rematch at 170, I think they're giving him what he'd like to have as a repayment for him being so cool all this time
you watch all the embedded stuff?
I don't know
if I'm behind am I missing anything?
I typically watch it
do you watch all McGregor's embedded stuff?
I've never seen
anybody so happy to be
eating steak and salad
he's like yeah man
just cramming food
down he's like i'm not having to cut this is the best time of my life how hard will it be for him
to make 145 next time around he'll have been 170 for like a year i think i'm exaggerating but you
know nine months or so and uh then suddenly he has to get he has a harder time making 145
than most of the guys in that class.
And now that he's been big for so long, we'll see how it goes.
But he –
Who's the next big lady fighter?
So Misha Tate just beat Holly Holmes, took a title from her.
I didn't like that.
I wanted to see Holly win.
I like her.
No, Misha's hotter. Holly's easy to like.
They're both hot. I guess Misha's
probably... Well, that's not true.
Misha's much hotter.
Misha's the hottest
one, the hottest female fighter
I think that there is. I think she's much better looking
than Ronda Rousey. Yes.
If we're judging solely on physical
appearance. Paige Van Zandt.
Yeah, oh god. Well, you know, we're trying to on physical appearance. Paige Van Zandt. Yeah, oh, God.
Well, you know, we're trying to stay with champions here.
You know, when you just throw in, like, the Karate Hottie and Paige Van Zandt and stuff,
those are, like, cheat codes.
What's the name of that fighter that tells everybody what round it is?
I like that one.
The ring girl.
She's a fox.
I would like to see that.
I would like to see like
four ring girls versus one female
fighter. It'd be a bloodbath.
The female fighter would get murdered.
They get to bring the cards though.
If they put four
four of those ring girls
against like a lightweight
man, that would be a hard fight.
That's a lot of weight. that's a lot of weight i
don't know that's a lot of weight to pin you down and and you got four times as many appendages that
can swing you can't block it this is so tough see the thing is this i feel like ring girls in
particular are like a lot less tough than say random dude you grab from the line no no this
is a fight to the death it's not hey
we'll give you a 50 gift card to starbucks if you you put in a good fight here where they're kind of
like this is one of them goes it's kind of a thing where like their parents are at gunpoint in the
back and it's like and if you don't fight we don't think you gave your all we'll say goodbye to mom
and dad go ahead say it practice say goodbye to your mom and dad and just make them do that and
then then they would put up a real fight.
Maybe that would be the difference.
I don't know.
Because I have in my head that girls are quick to quit in a fight.
I believe that if Misha Tate hits a ring girl, maybe even just once, that ring girl no longer wants to fight.
No, that's why you have to force them.
Because of the implication.
Because of the implication. I'd be curious
to hear your thoughts on this, Woody.
Because I wasn't that big of
a female MMA
fan, say
the last few years.
Because I feel like the
talent pool in the Bantamweight division
is so diverse. It's just
so lopsided with Ronda.
And then you got like Holly, who's like a counterstriker.
Well, used to be.
I mean, even so, look at the top three.
You got Holly, Misha, and Ronda, and they're completely different.
It's really hard to like.
It's incredible.
They are the rock, paper, scissors of MMA.
That's amazing.
That's exactly it.
Right?
Ronda can beat, let's see, Misha.
Misha can beat Holly, and Holly can beat Ronda.
And I want to see that work itself out.
That's incredible.
Three-way fight.
Three-way fight.
But here's the thing.
The strawweight division –
A ladder match.
If they brought that into the UFC, like Kit and I went and watched the Invicta fights
and I was like,
oh my God, these chicks,
this is the next level.
You watch the Bantamweight division
and this is in no way, shape, or form
a knock on them,
but you watch it three years ago,
the female fighters are a little more chaotic.
They're not as calculated, right?
They're very reactive.
They have that kind of crazy look in their eyes at times.
They headhunt a lot.
Swinging punches.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
Did he get quiet for everybody?
Can you guys hear him?
I lost volume.
Oh, they're all participating in this call just fine.
Ah.
Shucks.
It looks like I got kicked from the call. Perhaps it's my internet.
I'm checking. Oh, so sad.
No, my internet seems fine. Oh, so I can see in the chat they're saying everybody dropped.
I'm sorry for this.
I thought it was just me and that they were all talking to each other.
But Richard thinks he dropped.
Taylor thinks he dropped.
I dropped, obviously. um where else shucks oh this is the you get little hints of the kind of things that uh
Chiz writes in like he drops in facts and stuff I think it's made the show better
um so I'm gonna turn off their cameras because heaven knows what craziness I'll share.
We've learned that if I call someone individually, that fixes Skype.
So I can't just group call again or we'll have the issues that we've had last week
I'm just sorting this out. Okay.
I'm going to try to recreate this call again.
I'm sorry for this. We'll get it sorted out quickly if possible.
So Chiz isn't answering my call right now. Is that related to the issue?
Darn it, we had it like sorted out
so cheese is listed as busy I'm gonna group call just to see if this thing gets cooking
She's said to Colin
Jizz there. Yeah, can you add people to the call?
Yeah, I'll start adding people to there's Taylor Alright.
Kyle's coming.
Oh, Richard. Where's Kyle?
I don't know.
What the fuck yeah
hello
what are you doing
what am I doing
what did you say cheese
who's hosting us I don't know it's confusing to me I
don't know I guess it's is it Richard no everyone hang up hang up
okay i don't know why kyle was hosting or kept calling the other call i don't know why taylor i'm sure he had the best of intentions richard
are we still yeah we've been
rolling the whole time they're gonna see the skypes awesomeness yeah we choose
nice my window I still have two other calls still going I don't know if you
guys have that for you to get those stop, I literally had to sign out of Skype
and manually go in and leave those groups.
That's where I've been.
I've been signing out of Skype to get those other calls to stop ringing
because Skype kind of freezes and won't let you control them.
Choose left.
All right, I'm adding richard ryan
now kyle lost his video
yeah it looks like it kyle dropped
are we we're not recording anymore are we we are totally recording
oh
yeah if I
try to splice these things together it'll fuck up the audio
sync
and I'm disappointed
that sucks
can you like cut out huge swaths
in the middle like the last five minutes
that would fuck up the audio sync
just cutting out like five minutes would ruin it.
That's weird.
Rerendering it would ruin it.
Are we working now?
Fuck. I can see you now.
I can't see Richard.
Yeah?
Here we go.
We'll have Richard's video soon, I hope.
Alright.
I want Richard's thoughts about
this current political
whatever the fuck you want to call it.
The disaster that has happened.
All the things that have happened.
It's a shit sandwich and America's
got to eat it.
Narrow it down. Which of the many
calamities that happen are you referring to?
I think the
I check out. I really don't listen to the news any calamities that happen are you referring to? I think the, uh, I'm,
I,
I check out,
I really don't listen to the news that often.
Cause I feel like the,
the 24 hour cycle just really tries to,
I don't know,
bait in emotion for people.
And I feel like honestly the best case scenario out of all this whole thing,
this is just me.
Like hypothetically
um it goes to a broker convention for the gop um casek gets the nod and trump runs as third
party candidate and enough people vote for him where we finally have a third party come to the table.
I think no matter who gets elected at this point,
it's just like, fuck.
Someone sent me this the other day.
Oh, I've got one too.
Yeah.
Dude, let me get mine.
I'll be right back.
You're going to like it. Yeah.
So my girlfriend and I are big fans of the show of our new favorite
reality show which is donald trump's political uh career it's our new favorite reality show for sure
um there was a rally uh three hours to my house and i was like do you want to go see this thing
because it looks like a real shit show and she was like totally so we drive to north carolina
and like spend the night so we can get there i got there there at 5.30 a.m. That's when I was in line. And I waited in line for maybe six hours
and got in like six rows deep. So I could have hit Trump with a shoe if I wanted to,
and him and Chris Christie get up there. And it was cool watching them, and I got to see them in
person and everything. But the best part was the protesters who routinely get drugged the
fuck out of there by the cops.
Like, one guy stands up and he's wearing a Trump shirt.
And Trump said something about, look, when we go over there and we bleed in the sand, we should take the oil.
We should take the oil and that should be our oil.
And this guy stands up and goes, fuck Trump!
And he stands up and he's got a Trump shirt and he hulks out of it.
Like Hulkamania is running wild in the sky. He's just like's just like double birds fuck trump and his girlfriend's doing the same and then the
cops just drag him heels clicking like the fuck out of there so funny i don't know i i wish i
could i wish like i wish i could give an educated opinion on any of it um You don't have to. You just pretend. No, we're not looking for that.
Yeah, I mean, outside the box, it's like
I understand.
Oh, that's so good. Is it pink?
They gave me a pink Trump hat.
Who did? Yeah!
A fan! The Susan G. Komen
Foundation.
They sent me the Make America Great
What does it say? Choose Life.
It says Make America Great Again, Trump 2016, but it's in pink.
Get your wife to wear that.
Oh, get a picture of your daughter wearing it.
That would be the best.
Oh, that'd be great.
Child abuse.
Yeah, no, Richard might not know.
My daughter's way to the left.
Well, she's 16.
That's true.
It's normal.
What are you going to say?
She's way to the left.
I don't have to poke at her too much every so often.
Send her to boarding school.
Let them straighten her out.
Military school, right?
Yes.
It's not an environment where she would thrive.
I've really enjoyed this whole thing.
Like I said, me and my girlfriend,
that's our favorite new reality show.
It's the Donald Trump show.
I don't like The Apprentice.
I think I've seen maybe one episode ever.
I didn't care for it.
Not that great.
No, it's not that great.
But what he's doing right now is some of the best television I've ever seen.
This shit is hilarious.
And look, I don't like a lot of the stuff he does.
But what I do like that comes from him is someone going up there and kind of rubbing a little shit in the faces of all those politicians that probably don't have our best interest in mind anyway.
I completely agree.
It's rare that somebody like Jeb Bush gets shit rubbed in his face, but Donald Trump's the man who'll do it.
You know what's crazy?
I've said this a few times.
Go ahead.
You know what's crazy is I've said this a few times.
Go ahead.
I was going to say, I've said this a bunch, but I'm probably more libertarian than anything.
Because whenever I'm in California, I'm the gun-toting redneck.
But when I come back to Tennessee, I'm the gay-loving liberal.
And I actually believe more in an individual's right to choose than entity, be it government,
corporation, or whatever, telling people, hey, we're smarter than you, so you should do this instead. And I just feel like the GOP has really fucked up over the last decade. I mean,
just looking at it as a case study,
I geek out when it comes to analytics,
be it YouTube, Google, and everything else.
And hindsight's 20-20, but the big thing for me,
the first Obama administration,
I was like, these guys are crushing it.
They're going through Facebook
and they're targeting regions, specifically running campaigns, telling people that they need to tell their friends they need to vote and targeting campaigns like just really, really, really smart.
Now, it's funny hearing people say that, oh, Hillary's more qualified than Donald Trump.
Well, Donald Trump's more qualified than Obama was.
I mean, he had no, no experience coming into that.
I mean, he was a freshman senator.
Like, I mean, really, like as a businessman, I feel like Trump.
He was a state senator too.
Looking back, he really, because we've gone over this before.
He had been in politics in Chicago, which is some of the rougher, like trickier politics.
Remember on The Office when they would always make fun of
they got that guy for being a state senator yeah i mean the point is it's like you compared to like
joe blow you know city comptroller he's do he was doing real well but compared to everybody else
running for president at the time he didn't have nearly as much experience like i mean i'll catch
hell for saying this probably but um whatever it's the
internet um i don't think clinton was really qualified i feel like the fair housing act and
all that i mean it's just it's blatantly obvious how special interest played into a lot a governor
for eight years we're talking about well i yeah i mean qualified is probably the wrong term um where it's just
they probably didn't have the best interest at hand you know um i feel like hw uh herbert walker
was probably the the last time we had a president it was just like i mean he led the cia i mean he
was like he was in the know he knew what what was going on. He wasn't necessarily like as tied in to.
I just like four years. Well, yeah. Well, that was the thing was because he was like, hey, look, no, we're going to do this.
We're going to raise taxes because that's the only way we're going to keep from having this huge deficit.
And I was like, well, no, you can't do that as
political suicide for a Republican. But I mean, it was just what needed to be done. But I mean,
I don't know, like qualified is probably the wrong term. I just, I mean, ingrained into the system.
You hear it so much now. I want to throw up every time I hear people say special interests and stuff, but it's true when you look at
certain politicians and their affiliations like
Who is it the?
the Bush administration
Who was it that was that was?
You know what was the head of the FDA or?
We need people to lobby not just for special interests we need big groups to lobby for
general interests like there's not enough fucking water fountains in this city or like there's too
many potholes or you know they need to sell liquor earlier like general general interests that like
people can join those lobbies and be like yeah this is bullshit there's not that many crippled
people in my hometown and it's ridiculous having to park at the back of the parking lot when you're expecting the Special Olympics to come through with the amount of handicapped parking spots you have.
It's ridiculous, and we need to have a general interest lobbying sector where we can get those things heard.
I think that's where that comes back into what I was saying, like playing an active role in your family and then your community.
in your family and then your community. It's like if you start on a small level and you really get politically motivated to make change in your community and you guys kind of organize and
everything like that. I know a lot of people were excited about specific politicians that
they voted for, be it President Obama or whoever. And if you're disappointed by what's happened,
how have you held them accountable or tried to hold them accountable?
Because it's one thing to vote for somebody, but it's another to just back it up.
Right. So it's way easier to do on a state and a city level.
Right. So I feel like a lot of change can come from that.
A good example would probably be the city of Chattanooga, just because I know it.
Because one of my buddies is the director of audit, and he's like really shook up the system there.
And I mean, he's had a successful business and everything.
He didn't have to go back to work for the city.
He's like, I'm just going to make a change.
And it's like pissed a lot of people off. I mean,
he's like exposed a ton of stuff. And I mean, you look at Chattanooga, he doesn't have anything to
do with this, but like EPB, first city in the US to have one gig internet, like five years,
three, five years before Google Fiber was even thought of. Now it has 10 gig internet while Google Fiber is
still trying to get legs on one gig everywhere. I mean, it's pretty insane when people get
motivated and pushing whatever agenda it is. You want to bring commerce to your city. Okay, well,
okay, let's not raise the minimum wage to $15 an hour and drive all the small business out.
Let's figure something out to get other people coming in.
Make a hashtag.
Yeah, exactly.
Hashtag Nuga Strong.
You mentioned Libertarian Party.
I've got an issue with that.
The thing about the Libertarian Party, whenever they say, hey, how about a Republican against Hillary?
The Republican crushes them.
When they say, hey, how about Trump against against Hillary? The Republican crushes them. When they say, hey,
how about Trump against the Democrat? The Democrat crushes them. And the reason is sort of this
unnamed, uninspected version does really well. That's how I feel about the Libertarian Party.
People say, hey, what about Libertarian? Tons of people raise their hand. Oh, yeah, I'm Libertarian.
I'm Libertarian. Until you realize,, until the libertarian party actually does something and they put,
they look at it under a microscope, I don't trust it. You know, like Ron Paul ran and he's an
ex-libertarian, but he was real popular, whatever that was four years ago. And he talked about
getting rid of the EPA. You're like, oh, well, I'm not in favor of protecting every freaking frog and preventing
humanity from moving forward. But the EPA does have a role, right? We do like that they put
filters on smokestacks for power plants and stuff like that. And they asked Ron Paul,
so what's going to happen if a whole town gets cancer because a power plant did this? And they're like, oh, well, you know,
the individuals can sue the power company
and get restitution that way.
And it's like, you've gotta be fucking kidding me, right?
Like, how is a person going to sue a billion dollar company?
Class action lawsuit.
That's what it would take, right?
Better call Saul.
I get that, but I think the problem isn't necessarily with the libertarian party.
Your mic's fucked. Yeah, fix that mic.
Mine?
You're all crackly.
I love watching everybody's physical reactions to your microphone.
No, real quick to interject.
Me and Kyle were talking to Chiz about this earlier.
You were talking about helping your community and whatnot,
and it was making me think
Chiz is
a very active phone banker
for what he calls the Bernie Army.
The Sanders.
Is that true?
We were talking about it. Chiz phone banks
and he's donated like $3,000
to Bernie's campaign.
Go fuck yourself, Taylor.
I think libertarians...
Is it true?
Yes, it's true.
It's like $3,300 now.
Yeah, geez.
You've donated thousands of dollars to Bernie Sanders?
Yes, tens of thousands of dollars.
I'm calling all damn day.
That's all I do.
You wonder what I'm doing. I'm calling.
I'm texting. I'm face banking too.
Face banking?
Bernie Sanders.
A Bernie Sanders
tattoo. Isn't that true?
No, it says feel the burn.
It's a picture of him winking.
Got the feel the burn tattoo. Western Saturday.
Hashtag Sanders Saturday.
You guys are so stupid.
I hope that the revolution goes the way you want it to.
Me too.
Well, not really.
Not really.
You know, it's not completely over with Sanders.
He's still fighting.
I think he's won six out of the last seven states.
Yeah, and the Carolina Hurricanes can still make the playoffs.
Hang on now.
He's won six out of the last seven states.
And you can see the Clinton campaign is at least concerned about New York.
New York's coming up on the 19th.
Something like that.
15th.
And we just gave three different dates.
One of them is definitely correct, audience.
She's going to be right.
So sometime in there.
And everyone is calling that Hillary's's home state but that's not
hillary's home state she wasn't born there was she i know she served as senator there but
bernie was born in brooklyn like like that bernie's from there right but he's the guy from
vermont too right like yeah you know where's it have you heard this guy speak like like this guy's
a new yorker so he doesn't sound like a new yorker to me at all wait bernie sanders bernie doesn't have you heard this guy speak like this guy's a New Yorker
he doesn't sound like a New Yorker
to me at all
Bernie Sanders
he sounds exactly like
what you would think a Jewish person
from New York would sound like
complete stereotypical
New York Jewish person
it's like a stereotype
he owns a bagel store
no
is that for real
yeah oh my god fact checker just makes shit up now see he's lying it's not even true
the worst fucking fact checker
chiz stop stop being honest you should have let us roll with that
no no but okay so he's pulling pretty well in New York.
He's pulling well in Wisconsin.
Also in Pennsylvania. She's in Pennsylvania
working right now. She's having
New York is the 19th.
She's having Bill do a stop speech.
She said the 15th. I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry I interrupted.
Fucking fact checker. Fact check fuck face.
Originally I said it was on the 19th
and I was the first one to say a number.
What was it actually?
The 19th.
I said 16th or 19th, something like that.
People wanted to correct me so badly that they just made numbers up.
Well, no, it's because you asked if I remember right.
You're like, is it the 19th?
And I was like, 16th or 19th, something like that, if I remember right.
People are going to get this.
Chiz writes in there, it's the 15th.
Wait, guys, from the beginning let's rematch this whole thing again and see who's on what side he's our fact checker this is something to hone in on you know this is the thing okay i'm
sorry kyle carry on talking about uh early or i guess maybe this was before the show woody when
you were offering up topics and i was not familiar with this until I just Googled it,
and I'm still, I need you to do some catching up for me.
Opie and Anthony, or I guess just Anthony.
Yeah.
There's something going on there.
I think you're more in the know than me.
So let me read the article because it's super short.
Anthony Cumia, the former co-host of the popular Opie and Anthony radio host,
is headed to rehab.
Cumia has made the unexpected announcement on the Anthony and Kumi show, his web-based program.
He said he'll step away from the show for the entire month of April.
This is in quotes.
I'm going to be going away.
I will not see the month of April here.
Saturday, I'm taking a plane out of here.
Let's just say relaxing, learning, rehabilitating is a word that could be used.
He later added,
After this whole thing is said and done with,
I might have a better understanding as to how I should proceed in the future
and perhaps not get myself embroiled in legalities and what not to have plagued me.
Legalities and what not that have plagued me.
I'm sorry.
Kumi's latest brush with controversy occurred in December
when his then-girlfriend accused him of assaulting her
and posted videos of her claims online.
Saw the video.
Dubious, by the way.
Yeah.
He was later arrested and pleaded not guilty to the charges.
He's famously known for throwing wild parties at his upscale Long Island home.
Oh, there's two more sentences.
Cooley was joined on air by comedian Jim Norton and radio personality Ron Bennington.
You had a good run, Bennington said.
I brought this up to you 16 years ago.
You had a hell of a run.
I don't know what he's in rehab for.
It's for drinking.
I'm almost positive.
Okay.
Yeah.
That I don't think that he is a drug user,
but I'm also, well, I could be wrong. I have no idea. think that he is a drug user, but I'm also, well,
I could be wrong.
I have no idea.
Just as he is.
Yeah.
I think our fact checker,
ladies and gentlemen,
he's right.
He's a big angel dust fiend through a wall and through a chick off of a
building.
Yeah.
Uh,
well,
that's, I think that's in the end, that's a good thing for building. I think that's, in the end,
that's a good thing for him.
I hope so.
If he was getting out of control and whatnot,
he's the kind of guy who's got a lot to lose.
Have you ever...
Obviously, alcohol abuse or something like that
is, at some point, you're like,
I've got to get a grip on this. I need to get help.
But have you ever been into something in your life?
Not necessarily a substance addiction.
It could be a video game. It could be a hobby.
It could be a girl.
When you think that, realistically, if you really looked at it,
you probably should have gotten a little help.
Chocolate.
I might be there now. I spend too much time on the internet too much time on the internet
yeah i spent how much time in a in a given 24 hour period would you say you spend on the internet
last night i went to bed at what i like a great hour i went to bed at like 10 p.m right and i was
like man i'm to wake up and tomorrow
I'm going to grab life by the balls and get, you know,
just it's going to be fantastic.
And then I woke up at two and I opened my laptop
and I read until like 6.30.
What were you reading?
I was on Reddit, 5.38, Ars Technica, Engadget.
I go to Mac Rumors every day, and it disappoints me 100% of the time.
There's never anything interesting there,
yet I'm just daily looking for a new Mac for some reason.
I just go on the internet and consume information all the time.
Sometimes I feel like it helps me with this podcast ah X jaws talk you're on the X jaws
plan oh my god my information diet is coming to fruition oh what a success
Glee's right back to Sam X jaws information diet I wasn't around for
that alright so preface this by saying I really like Sam, and Sam, if you're
out there and you hear this, I still like you. You should get back in
touch with me. I think you got Kitty's number. You can get my number.
We can hang out sometime. I like you a lot. But Sam
was pretty out of it the last time
he was on the show, and he was all jittery and stuff
like he'd had about eight cups of coffee
for some reason, and he was
going on and on about
these life goals he had that were
just absurd. know things like
earning a hundred million dollars next year and being piddling over the percentage of his
gigantic wealth that he would keep because the rest of it would be donated just lots of silly
like a one percent pledge he said that if he makes 500 million a year that he'll only keep
one percent of it that year. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.
Just silly stuff like this.
And then he goes on to like,
and then he explains that he has this information diet
where he goes on Netflix
and he just consumes like massive amounts of documentaries
and like History Channel specials and shit like that.
And look, I kind of,
I subscribe to that idea a little bit.
I think you could catch a lot of stuff there.
I feel like you left out some important life goals, right?
We covered the income one.
Immortality was one of them.
He was going to invent a pill.
He was going to invent a pill that gave humans immortality.
But he's not in college or anything.
How's that color?
He's just like a regular know he's just like a regular dude
like he finished high school and
I think he's in college now actually
just to give people an update but like
you know like
there's no evidence to suggest
that he would be the guy that created immortality
in humans but here he is
on the podcast today
I mean it's worked wonders
for you I mean my god I feel wonders for you. I mean, my god.
I feel like maybe,
and maybe, Sam, you need to look
and talk to a lawyer about this. I think
Woody might owe you a significant portion
of his current net worth
if you really get down to brass tacks.
No, no. I'm going to sue Sam
for infecting me via Skype
of information
diet rot or whatever I feel
like a juice and like Sam probably knows a few lawyers who could look into this
so I have more money than Sam therefore I will triumph in court you're
underestimating that Jewish intellect is it the Jew gold that he'll tap into?
I don't even know what that is.
That oddly anti-Semitic term about an hour in.
You taught me that term.
I swear to God, I don't even really know what it means. That's a South Park term.
Oh, is that where it came from?
Yeah.
I didn't even know what the reference was.
You thought that Kyle just came up and started berating Jews for keeping gold on them them i don't know how it happened he just made some jewish gold references and i copied it
park um like there's this like fiery stairwell confrontation between cartman and kyle and kyle's
a jewish character and it's literally a fiery stairwell and and cartman won't let kyle pass
he's like give me the jew gold i know you got it around your neck. And he's like, what are you talking about?
I've never heard of any Jew gold. There is
no Jew gold. You're insane. And Cartman
just won't bend. He's like,
you give me the Jew gold or you die.
And finally Kyle's like,
fine!
He's got a leather
pouch full of Jew gold.
It's been a while since I've seen that one, but Cartman might be like, I know that's the decoy pouch. Give me the real Jew gold. It's been a while since I've seen that one, but Cartman might be like,
I know that's the decoy pouch.
Give me the real Jew gold.
And he's got another big bag of gold.
Oh, we were talking about
addictions. I've never had a Jewish person
actually get offended by any of the
silliness they're going at their race.
I think there's a reason so many of them are comedians. Good senses of humor. actually get offended by by any of the the silliness they're going at their race um yeah
like there's a reason so many of them are comedians good sense of humor what a great
grace people i i always enjoyed hanging out with sam because he he liked to he liked to uh mock his
own people very much so are they a race though because that's one thing that i'm confused about
is like it's kind of like because it's's just, I know it's a religion.
You could become a Jew, but just on paper, right?
Like, you can't become Jewish.
I could pastor Jewish. I just, I don't know if I understand it's like a different race.
I don't know if I understand it as a different race, as like black people and Asian people are a different race.
like black people and asian people are a different race or if it's kind of like if just everybody in missouri you know no no only fucked people in missouri for hundreds and hundreds of years and
then eventually it's like oh those are missourians you know they're they're different but really it's
just like i guess they're an ethnic group technically right yeah because it's they were
bound by religion and like way back in the fucking day they were just another tribe like you think
that they were the only ones traveling around wandering around the desert speaking of which you know that
story of like 30 years in the desert 40 years 40 years you know the space how big the space is that
they apparently got lost for 40 years in it's like two square miles like you it's two or two
five square miles it's a tiny little desert that That said, Muggs was a good navigator.
It was about the journey, not the trip.
That's such a small amount of sand
that they would see big tracks of their previous attempts
to escape the desert as they were going.
He was spelling out,
God, give me a hand here.
Walking in circles to the left.
And all they had to eat was shitty bread
that fell from the sky,
and pigeons or something.
Even in the version that the Jews
tell, they had
enough gold on them that they could
melt it down and make a giant golden bull
to worship while Moses was up on
the mountain getting the
Ten Commandments. Mount Sinai.
Mount Sinai. And is my
theology correct here? Was there another tablet that he
didn't he smash the tablets that's right he smashed the tablets when he got back didn't he
i believe the broken tablet is i could feel this one get back he goes on this mount think about
this he goes in this mountain he's gone for days and he's gone so long that the people give up on
him and start worshiping a big golden bull and And when he gets back, he literally has the word of God
written into two
pieces of stone. And it pisses him off so much
that they're worshipping the bull. He just smashes this
shit. There's originally a first
documented case of roid rage.
God gave him a little bit of
stone. He was just lifting stones.
Comes back off the mountain.
I was working out for like three days.
And you fuckers just like,
society falls apart.
Fuck this.
It's like God hyped him up the way you hype a dog up.
Like you can get all excited and it's like,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then you just quit and it keeps going.
Like God was up there as Moses.
Like, yo, you're the man.
You take him down there.
You show him these rules.
Yeah, fuck yeah.
And Moses goes down there like skipping.
Like, oh, I am the fucking man.
God's on my side. He sees the bull, shatters him. Hey, have we. And Moses goes down there like skipping. Like, oh, I am the fucking man. God's on my side.
He sees the bull, shatters him.
Hey, have we talked about Hulk Hogan and Gawker on PKA yet?
Yes.
Okay.
Okay.
We did.
We could keep talking about Bible stories, though.
I like Bible stories.
You know, say what you want about Bible stories.
I think they're very good stories, and they usually have some moral story behind them.
And I think most of them would make good movies,
if you think about it, right?
Yes, Joseph.
Well, most of them have been made into movies.
There's a lot of Bible movies.
The one where Joseph gets thrown in the pit,
and he gets fished.
Joseph in the Coat of Many Colors.
I think that's a Dolly Parton song.
It's a musical.
Yeah, it's a musical, too.
I used to see commercials for it when I was young,
and it looked horrible.
But the story itself, when, like, he went out in the desert,
and the dad, Joseph, was his favorite son, the youngest,
and he was always giving Joseph all this dope shit,
like the best camels, the best berries,
whatever was popular back then he got it and all
the other brothers were like fuck this guy this is horse shit we've been around here longer we're
we live in the bronze age and i haven't gotten jack shit for my piece of shit dad and so they
take the youngest guy out there they see a bunch of slavers and so they just are like you know what
this joseph guy's kind of a cunt and we'll get better treatment if he's not here so they sell
him to the slavers slavers takevers take him back to Babylon. Joseph
works up from a slave, Donald Trump
style, from nothing
into everything. He had a small million dollar
loan. Yeah, a small loan
of 60 shekels. Built a massive wall
in the progress. Yeah, and
then later in his life, you know,
the big Shyamalan twist.
The brothers come. They seek help from him
and he's sitting there the the grand
poobah of babylon and instead of going fuck you guys you're all going to pit he gives them some
money which i would not have done no no but you do something awful to him some some sort of awful
biblical punishment they had the worst punishments back then oh so and even after all that the the
dad was still just pissed he's like well god well, goddammit, Joseph's gone.
Now I got 11 shit-tier sons.
You think I just kept having kids because I wanted more?
We talked about the torture methods that they had back then before.
Have we talked about the brazen bull before?
Yes.
That's the one where they cook them alive inside the metal bull?
That was like a Greek thing, right?
Yeah.
I was just going to go down that path and say hey you
want to talk about torture because like yeah when they take they boil like they put those pots
and put a rat on their stomach and then light a fire on that and so the rat would start like
clawing through their like stomachs and shit to get out and everything do you know the story of
sodom i think it's a real torture is it it? That's a Thronesee torture.
Sodom and Gomorrah is the best one.
I don't know why we're not talking about, like, it's the story to be told of the Bible, right?
I don't remember the characters' names.
A lot.
A lot.
Yeah.
That's the story, not the part where Jesus dies for man's sins and then comes back.
No, no, no. Sodom and Gomorrah is the key.
I feel like if I mock that story, then I'm definitely going to hell, but I feel like I could
kind of giggle at Sodom and Gomorrah and I might still make it in.
This is a razor's edge. How's God feeling today?
It's really up in the air. Yeah, but Sodom and Gomorrah, evil cities.
Woody, you seem to know a good amount about
the story lot uh he actually let his daughters get raped he offered to let him get apparently
so sodom and gomorrah are these evil cities right and if i have this i'm gonna screw this up i'm
sure and uh these two what are they like salesmen or something come by to like check and see if
there's bad oh no i think they're going to see if everyone
in the city needs to be killed right so these like two people come down they're sent by god or
something and uh and they visit lot and uh um you know he's checking to see if anyone in the city
is you know maybe they shouldn't just burn it or flood it or whatever the fuck they're going to do to it. Righteous men.
What's that? Angels, not salesmen. You say tomato,
I say tomato. So these two
angels go into Lot's house
and he's feeding him or something
and then the whole town is like, you know what?
I'd like to fuck me some angels, right?
Because you don't get an
opportunity to do that every day. And the town decides
they're going to, I guess, anally rape uh these angels it's a big it's a big train no wait so the angels are
male they come in welcomes them in have something to eat kind of selfish of you to eat it you're an
angel and you don't need it and we're in an ancient time where there's not a lot of food
so please don't uh invites them in his daughters are also in the house people are freaking out
outside going you got angels in there this is horse horse shit. We're going to get them. We're going to get
these fucking angels and lots like everybody settle down. I'll give you my daughters to rape.
Just don't hurt super human angels behind me. And so he, he pretty much, he, I think he's like
right about to do it. And the daughter's like, as he's unlocking the door, they're like, are you,
are you shitting me? You garbage piece of chauvinist shit giving us out to be raped so
you can impress your friends um but then i think god comes down and pulls the old god gets a lot
of people like punk style you know kill your kid oh gotcha no don't do that don't do that you know
let them rip your daughters nope no i was joking yeah they were virgins yeah of course they were
yeah and then the best part is when they you know they get the message at this point and so
he's the angel say wow lot is the only righteous man left in the either of these two cities so
we'll spare him so you know they go walking off into the sunset and everything the angel say oh
by the way don't fucking turn around because we're gonna do some hardcore shit to your hometown just
don't even look at it it'll mess you up and lot's wife has to turn around and look're going to do some hardcore shit to your hometown. Just don't even look at it. It'll mess you up.
And Lot's wife has to turn around and look back.
And just the image of what was happening back there turns her to a pillar of salt.
A pillar of salt.
So then, so then Lot's feeling real bad about this.
Let me finish this up.
Lot's feeling real bad about this, right?
His wife just turned to a big pillar of salt.
So he seeks refuge in a local cave.
And his daughters and Lot are in the cave and everything and and the daughters start thinking wow we're the only fucking people left on the earth we've got to repopulate we gotta fuck dad
so they get they get a lot nice and drunk and then fuck him and And it works. They get pregnant.
And that's the Bible.
That's just one small... That's the key.
No, that's the central thesis of the Bible right there.
Yeah.
I used that story to guide my entire life.
That story and the morals that it teach
have kept me on the right rail
from the time i was a child
that's where you get the other interpretation of turn the other cheek
oh it's fucked up yeah there's a lot of bible stories that when you really analyze like what's
happening and especially if you were to apply them to modern day and like modern families and
groups of people you just they're they're shockingly out of place at times but you know
it's god i wish i knew my bible even better like like i think there's more references
into it more references to shellfish than there are gay people in the bible uh only in the uh
the argument is like oh that god never taught or jesus never talks about gay people
in the old testament they were very very clear about gays and about shellfish and about mixing fabrics.
Lots of things.
I know we have to take care of something real quick, but I do want to return to Bible stories.
It's fun.
Carl?
You did not call me Carl, did you?
No.
Like I wouldn't catch it?
Like I wouldn't notice that you called me Carl?
Is this a new thing?
Are we calling him Carl?
No. We're not calling him Carl? No.
We're not calling him Carl.
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Did you buy a bed for
it or is it on the floor it's still on the fucking floor let me tell you let me tell you why my truck
is it i wish a fucking asteroid would hit would hit that thing just in fast forward like the the
things that i have fixed on this thing um two hydraulic lifters uh Had to take the head off and service it.
New rear end.
New brakes all the way around.
New rotors.
Wheel bearing on the left side just went out.
Had to replace that.
Two transfer cases.
One transmission.
And there's still some electrical issues that I'm working the bugs out on.
It's been pissing me the fuck off.
I was over there all day the other day doing that wheel bearing by myself,
and I'd never done one before,
so I got my YouTube video right there with me learning as I go.
And it was a process, and it was $275 for the parts. Just a real motherfucker.
So I haven't had time to do that.
I get home from working on this car.
I wish I was there.
I'm tired.
Steel bearing is a 15-minute job.
You've got to take the tire off.
I'm not including pulling out the air tools,
but yeah, I've done... You've got to take the tire off, the rotor off,
the caliper and everything.
I've done it about 150 times.
Why?
Just take the gear splints out, put another
Ajax bolt in, call it a day.
You know? That's what I say.
08 Silverado.
Okay.
I mean, not to get in the Ford
Chevy debate thing, but one of the
things that really pissed me off about
my F-150, the 04,
was
to change the brakes, like the rotor,
you had to take the front axles off.
And they use like a wax or something where it cross threads it
whenever you take and you put it on.
So it takes a specific foot pound of torque to put on and then when you take it off
you have to buy brand new ones and everything it's just such a pain in the butt i mean like i know
different manufacturers make things way more complicated what they need to be sometimes so
toyota's good that way i so i've mostly worked on Dana 44's
And a handful of different Toyota axles
They're all the same but different
They just get bigger and stronger
And I don't know
The way that you pull out a Toyota third member
Is really easy to work on
The way the axles pull out
The wheel bearings are not that big of a deal
I guess I don't know if I'm just most comfortable with them
Or if they're actually easier to work the i guess i don't know if i'm just most comfortable with them or if they're actually easier to work on but uh yeah i don't know i used to go off-roading a lot and i
would break axles almost every trip and or break teeth on the ring gear of the third member or
whatever just change brakes or upgrade to new axles and that's why i've done it so many times
you still work on your truck and stuff me yeah yeah but it doesn't break anymore
huh because i i found like i don't know about you guys but um i i used to do everything like
my first car was a 67 mustang it was like here you go this thing doesn't run if you want a vehicle
to drive when you're 16 go buy a haynes manual after know, you've worked a few summers to get parts, to get it
running and everything. And so I've always worked on like Mustangs, F-150s kind of in the Ford
family and everything. Cause that's what I grew up on. And, and it was so easy. Like the engine
bays, everything was just the carburation, everything everything just like everything was just awesome it was so easy it just made
sense it clicked and now i got like a 2015 f-150 and i'm like fuck i can't even change the radio
out in this thing because it's integrated with so many different electronic systems and stuff
and it's so frustrating to me because it's like i i kind of yearned for that, like just wanting to just get back out there and just do maintenance.
You get an old fixer-upper.
We're always tinkering on something.
Well, one of my favorite trucks was like the 92, 93-ish F-150s, like just standard cabs, kind of like what the Rock drove in Walking Tall.
Like just – like Not the extended cab,
just the regular. That was a good movie. Yeah!
It was awesome.
4x4 post.
It starts
off with Greg Allman doing that
dirty version of Midnight
Rider. So good.
Very good. I like that movie a lot.
That was great.
Wasn't it supposed to be?
Wasn't it based on some kind of a true story or something?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I'm not familiar with that film.
You haven't seen that film?
It's a quick one, too.
It's not that long.
90 minutes or something like that.
It's got Johnny Knoxville in there.
90 minutes.
That's a rarity nowadays, finding a 90-minute movie.
Has anyone here seen Batman batman versus superman yet no you can spoil it though i don't care i do i have not seen it um chis watched it and did not care for it yeah he hated it a lot i'm gonna i'm
trying to get the quote right because it was not well he's gonna give you a new quote now um but
but i don't think... Here, hold on.
She thinks Batman vs. Superman is a
pile of shit wrapped up in a cat poop
tortilla with disappointment sprinkled
on top. I think that what really
put him over the edge was their
gay romance scene. I don't think there
was a need for that or for it to go on as long as
it did. I like the gay romance scene.
I mean, I definitely
didn't picture Batman assuming that much of a dominant
role. Like, when you imagine them
When you hit Superman with the pink
kryptonite, he's powerless.
You think I'm making
that up, but that's true. Pink kryptonite
makes him into a bottom. Well, no, I think
somebody else made that up, and now you're just
repeating it.
Kind of like the pink Trump hat.
No, that's true. Pink kryptonite really does make superman gay and it's
you know it's it's part of the uh the uh the canon is it yeah it's part of the canon yeah
is that like some weird little like lost in the weeds mentioned in the 1961 episode
the site source is. Here we go.
Pink kryptonite.
I don't... That's...
Wikipedia, Woody.
I don't think so.
Yeah, there's like five different kinds of kryptonite.
But, um...
Oh, that's it.
Yeah.
It is right here on the internet, so...
Yeah, right there.
You can't argue with that.
I'm not surprised.
I don't...
Motherfucker.
I think that would be a good movie.
Yeah, I'm not surprised that it is a shit movie.
I feel like they're really pumping out superhero movies.
A little too much gusto right now.
Like, give everybody a break.
How about you throw out a western?
How about another western?
I'd like some more of those.
Spaghetti Western.
Did you watch Bone Tomahawk yet?
I have seen Bone Tomahawk.
Richard, do you watch many movies?
I try to.
What's the comic book movie that we all love?
Deadpool.
Yes.
That was pretty good.
I did.
It was a lot of fun.
I loved the little jabs and stuff like,
just don't make my superhero suit green.
Or things like that
which was great. Loved it.
Yeah, there were a bunch of mentions like that.
Little things thrown in there.
I think at one point there was a picture of him.
You got something in your teeth.
Who?
Me?
No, that's from the movie.
Oh, you dick.
I ate like four slices of pizza like during the show four slices of pizza right before we started just wolfing it down yeah yeah i'm so hungry i've just noticed that like after seeing
that i've never actually like done that to anybody so occasionally i just do it and without a fail
every single time they're like like, oh, fuck.
And then they're like subconscious about it the entire time.
But yeah, no, I think they are pumping out too many.
Like you've got deals like what is it with Sony?
They have to have a Spider-Man movie in production to be able to maintain the rights to it because it's a Marvel property.
So if they don't have one constantly in production
or pre-production,
then they lose the rights to it.
How would you like to be somebody like Robert Downey Jr.
so that you're so integral to the whole thing,
the whole big web?
Like, I like that he's the nice guy
and instead of being
like you know what a hundred million a movie let's just make it a hundred million that's an even nice
round number right instead of doing that he was like hey you're not really paying everybody else
as much as they should be getting so if you want us all you should look out for everybody yeah and
you mentioned ed norton edward norton's a cocksucker i love his movies he's a great actor
but what a shithead right nobody can work'd he do? Nobody can work with him.
That's why he's not the Hulk right now.
He's notorious for being impossible to
work with.
I really like him as an actor.
I love him as an actor. American History X.
What did we watch the other day?
In Cold Blood or whatever.
What's the one where he's with Richard Gere
and he's pretending like he had a split
personality?
You know who else is great that doesn't get a lot of recognition is Sam Rockwell. with Richard Gere and he's pretending like he had a split personality. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
You know who else is great that doesn't get a lot of recognition is Sam Rockwell.
I really like him.
I don't know who Sam Rockwell is by name.
No?
Primal Fear.
Nice call, Chase.
Yeah.
Good call, Chase.
There's an unrated version on Netflix right now if you want to watch it.
Wow.
They chop the priest's fingers off with a knife
and you see him, like him spraying blood and everywhere.
It's pretty gruesome.
You know what's on Netflix?
Have you guys seen Promised Land?
It's promised, like past tense, promised land.
No, but it's reminding me of more Bible stories.
It's Matt Damon and...
I've seen it.
John Krasinski.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The office guy.
From The Office, he plays Jim. And it's pretty good, I thought. I enjoyed seen it. John Krasinski. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The office guy. From The Office, he plays Jim.
And it's pretty good, I thought.
I enjoyed the movie.
And there's a little fracking, like, propaganda mixed in there.
So you get both at the same time.
Matt Damon's really liberal.
And I was like, how is this going to...
I wasn't sure how it was going to play out.
I didn't see it ever being, like,acking matt damon win and uh it had a
had a twist ending and i enjoyed it yeah good movie uh john krasinski's a great actor i love
that meme i guess he's in that i was about to say he's in that michael bay movie about benghazi or
whatever and um i haven't seen it yet but i love there's a snapchat because not only is john
john krasinski in, but the guy who played
Help Me Chiz.
What movie are you talking about?
Roy. The guy who played Roy
in The Office. He's in there too.
13 Hours or whatever. The Benghazi movie that
Michael Bay made.
There's that meme where John Krasinski
is like, Roy, I need
you back. He's like, I left that game behind
a long time ago, man. He's like, Roy, I need you back. He's like, I left that game behind a long time ago, man.
He's like, they got Pam.
And there's both of them dressed like operators
with M4s and stuff.
It's really funny.
I haven't seen that movie, though.
To me, it seems a little disrespectful
to make a Michael Bay action movie
out of something that just happened like that.
I don't know.
I haven't seen the movie.
I don't know.
I think it was done pretty good like i yeah i like the thing is like there's
michael bay like movies i mean just because bad boys awesome right awesome but this is
this is one of his fewer i want to say character and story driven and not so much action i mean
there is action is a part of it and everything but like i think they did a really good job of
grounding themselves and would it uh i mean you know like the grs guys and the cia and everything
you know you say what you want about real life versus the theatrics of a movie and everything, but it was really grounded in reality, I felt like.
Maybe I'll watch it then.
When I heard it was Michael Bay, I was like,
well, why is Michael Bay doing that?
I'd like to see it.
What if Spielberg did it?
Then I'd watch it.
It really should be Michael Moore.
Oh, no.
No.
It would be about how Transformers aren't eco-friendly,
and they give off too much exhaust.
Michael Bay isn't eco-friendly, and he gives off too much exhaust.
Have you seen this guy?
You mean Michael Moore.
Michael Moore.
Yeah, he's fucking enormous now.
The last time I...
He's been around for a while.
Has he?
Yes.
I remember when Bowling for Columbine came out came out i'm
gonna estimate he was like 265 or something but he looks like he's getting up in the 350s now or
something he's looking really jesus oh it looks it looks awful looks like he's got like he's got
chins no he's like next to him ted cruz's neck looks like a chiseled professional athlete jaw,
which is because what's his name?
Michael Moore has that chin where it's not even like a sloped down chin.
It's the chin has grown beyond even the confines of the face.
It's further out.
That's what you call that.
Yeah, it's a jowl, a big hunk of meat.
Just kind of gross.
I really don't like it.
What did Kyle call it? A goblin? The gobbler i really don't like i'll call it a goblin the
gobbler the gobbler i like it i like the gobbler i uh yeah on one hand he's gigantic and he's hard
to look at on the other hand like well i saw this coming two decades ago like you always knew he was
going to grow into that uh chris christie like figure yeah and you Yeah, and you're not looking at a picture
of Michael Moore in 1986
being like, damn, where'd that sexy
motherfucker go?
He was gross
in the 80s, and he's gross now.
The other thing about Michael Moore that
makes gross such an appropriate adjective
is
he's always dressed down. He's always
slovenly. He's always like rolling out of bed,
sweatpants,
hair,
not done,
et cetera.
And this is on his,
like a CNN day,
you know,
like Chris Christie is as rough as he is to look at.
He is in a suit,
you know,
it might not have added,
you know,
he might not accommodate the most recent 10,
15.
I'll say this about Chris.
He looks better standing.
He should always stand no matter what the situation.
Because when he sat down in that chair, like the event I went to was kind of like a fireside chat.
Like it was Christy in a chair, Trump in a chair.
And they're just kind of like turned toward the audience and toward each other.
And they're just – Christy's setting him up for everything.
And Christy just has this massive belly.
And his legs are kind of sticking out of it.
It does look – Like a baby's. Like a baby's, yeah. He looks like he's not very mobile. just has this massive belly and and his legs are kind of sticking out of it it doesn't look like a
baby's yeah he looks like he's not very mobile um he would well he's probably not who had
aspirations of being the president would like get a lock on that because i feel like that
if he's our prime if he had won the the thing if if he's the the gop's nominee i feel like
somebody starts throwing they would ask health questions. They'd be like,
is this the guy?
Is this the guy you want up there?
He doesn't look like he's going to make it.
It's not just the health to me.
It's the fact that he has an addiction
that's beating him.
Obama smokes cigarettes.
That didn't bother me.
Do you think Obama's still smoking?
Yeah.
Yeah, of course he is.
Based on what?
Petty vices mean nothing to me.
You had Kennedy fucking everything.
See how cigars?
Reagan smoked cigars. Petty vices mean nothing to me. You had Kennedy fucking everything. Reagan smoked cigars.
Little petty vices.
The stuff that you can't deny that's in people's eyes.
Churchill was wasted throughout World War II.
I mean.
All right, all right.
These are not petty vices being wasted throughout World War II.
I don't like that.
If Obama couldn't stop his smoking, then that would be a deficit to me.
It would be a guy who's not squared away.
You want to be squared away?
Don't have fucking addictions that rule your life that you can't handle.
I don't think nicotine is an addiction that rules your life when you're smoking.
It's really annoying to the people around you when you're with your friends.
It's like, oh, let's start up this next game.
They're like, oh, I'm going to go have a smoke real quick. But when you're the
president, you're like, nah, fuck
all y'all. But when you're the president,
it's like, oh, should we have a meeting in five minutes?
Because I'm pretty fucking sure the meeting is
whenever I walk in the room because I'm the president.
It's a sign of mental weakness.
We have a meeting. He's like, yeah, I know. Gather around,
bitches.
That's funny, and it's maybe
even true, but it's a sign of mental weakness.
No, dog. Bum me one. It's no even true but it's a sign of mental dog bum me one yeah
i uh it's no different than chris christie's weight i imagine biden light leaning over
light and lighting a cigarette and then just kind of leaning back and watching
yeah he's open about it though he like didn't he didn't he say he had his stomach stapled and he
still like just just keeps he overcame gastrointestinal surgery
yeah he beat
lap band surgery
that's the term
he beat lap band
how much of like I don't
I know it's an addiction to
eat food and that's probably like the hardest addiction
to fight cause
you can 100% get rid of booze
and like your body's not gonna freak out you can 100% get rid of weed if you're a hundred percent get rid of booze and like your body's not going to freak
out you can a hundred percent get rid of oh you know if you're an alcoholic you get the shakes
you go into details you have a problem i know i'm saying like like if you wean off or however you
have to do that if you're like a hardcore alcoholic you can survive like and then you can stop drinking
you'll be okay with food it's like you have to do that every day so every day there's some
temptation like it's like if an alcoholic had to like at lunch to have one shot and then like have a shot at dinner and then just keep
it together you know yeah like that would be but come on you don't have to eat cheetos and funyuns
and no but that's enough to remind you of like man this carrot fucking sucks i hate my life like
all i wanted is that big bag of doritos and i'm gonna fucking have it you know like but isn't there a pull with every addiction you know aren't you like not doing heroin thinking
dude you know it would make mowing better heroin not really i've never just sat around and been
like oh man a great day to lounge around i wish i had a bunch of coke or like oh man i need to get
a bunch of like you know you know i feel like that would be the time when you would enjoy drugs I feel like if you if you were gonna do a
little marijuana like mowing time I feel like you'd be like fuck yeah let's mow
the whole world but you know what family I'm like that anyways you want to get it
done but but I feel like you'd be like, Jackie, take the kids inside. I'm going to mow it all.
Come back home.
Do you have an addiction?
Do you guys have anything that you would say is, yeah, fuck, man.
So Woody, yours may be the internet.
Anything for you?
At some point, I spent way too much money on magic cards.
And that's a funny one in a way.
And this is intermittent.
At least once a year
i get super back into that hobby and spend like not a lot of money to you know people who are
really wealthy but like five six hundred bucks you know that's that's a good amount of money
to just throw into a hobby and then suddenly it's like yeah hey i don't want to go play with
randoms down at the gaming store like i want my friends to play and if i convince them to get
into it it's like their piece of shit deck just gets blown out by mine because i'm spending so much time researching
and doing shit i haven't done that in a long time but i've that's a problem phases especially with
strategy card games for some reason where i just i get like i'm either totally uninterested in
something or i am utterly like i can't stop thinking about it like right now that's age
mythology i'm thank god that's
a one-time payment of 35.99 and uh we've got me and kyle been playing that i have an obsessive
personality so like i like being good at things and it upsets me if i'm not good at something and
and it doesn't like like if it were like basketball like real life basketball i'd be like you know
what i just don't have the talents needed for this and this could take years to develop these
talents could take years to develop and These talents could take years to develop.
And I would need trainers and equipment.
But with Age of Mythology, it's a $35 video game.
And I feel like if I just focus on this and read a little bit,
I can get good at this.
And so, like, I'm really sucked into this video game right now.
You're getting way better.
Every time you're coming in and we're starting up a game,
you're, like, dropping knowledge on me from your research that I didn't know.
Where, like, you're in here, like, spamming that I didn't know. We're here and you're spamming hotkeys
and I'm like, what are you doing? You're like, oh, well, you just
hit HV, HV, HV or whatever
at the start of the game and get your
workers going. No wonder you've never won!
Come on, Kyle!
Every edge I could possibly get. That's how it always
is. Same thing with Chiz.
Would you give away your edge?
I hear you giving
your little things you picked up to Taylor.
Well, we're sharing back and forth, so I don't mind giving him mine
because he gives me all of his.
I want us both to get collectively better at the game.
Fair point.
Yeah, like if I see him playing a god and I know he's doing something wrong
and we're playing against each other, I'm not sitting over here like,
ha-ha, fucking fool.
I'm like, hey, Kyle, you want to maybe do that with the Egyptians?
He's getting way better.
I did the same thing with Civilization V.
Chiz got to a point where he was just beating me.
At first, I beat Chiz a couple games, and then he started beating me consistently,
and I was like, I've just got to start reading.
I've got to go do some homework.
And I would do like an hour or two of homework every night.
And I would read and read.
And by the end of it, I had charts like this.
Like the one I have here for Age of Mythology.
Where it's a detailed build chart that I've come up with to remind me what to do.
It's this eco build.
First I buy hunting dogs.
I put two workers on food, one on wood, one on gold
Then I make a new villager
Is this grief?
Yeah, the ones with the expensive workers
No, it's Atlanteans
Yeah, this is an Atlantean rush
Using the Murmillo and the Terma and Valor
I'm just sitting over here
Trying to get better at the game constantly
So when I get obsessed with something
It does become a game
Richard, I think we found their addiction
Playing with Kyle is a lot of fun because like you're not getting super
like like you never care when you're getting like you care but like when you're getting beat you're
not freaking out about it but like you send in a big force on kyle and it's just like oh jesus
fuck god i just built a bunch of workers again like now like just right before this he three
times built his workers back up and he's
like god they're down to three of them so the way this thing is working is it's um it's about
micro control to some extent it's about perfectly getting your civilization moving forward so that
you hit these um important key eras of the game as quickly as possible because you get more powerful
every era so he's hitting his at like three minutes and 30 seconds into the game. I'm like 60 seconds slower, which means that he's already
built his army and sent it on the way while I'm building my army. So he gets to my town right
about the time I get three soldiers built and he's got 20 and they wreck my shit. And you know,
I'm pumping out one at a time, like one 30 seconds and he's already there with 20 and my workers are literally just peasants
they're the shovels rakes they're chopping wood and he rapes the fuck out
of them and they are your that's what you use to get money and food and all
that shit in the game and he'll come in fuck my shit up real bad cripple me but
he'll leave why because you could build yourself back and I'm
just like why like because you can build yourself back oh that's not a motivation
to not finish you no no because I can't like at that level in the game mice like
his town center and his towers can fight me off and so I can't just leave my
troops they're beaten on his building or eventually the arrows will take me down
so I go in fuck up his farms and his workers and destroy his houses to like lower his population limit to
set him back and then i just leave rebuild my forces everyone yeah and like three to eight
minutes later i send in another force when he's got like yeah you can keep saying and in three to
eight minutes in those three to eight minutes i'm as fast as i can fucking hot keying around i'm like
build it back build it back better build it back better build a wall wall tower tower and and he's like how's it going over there I'm like oh real bad
real bad having a hard time I'm not gonna make it I don't know I got like two workers left really I
got 10 and I'm just trying to get my shit back together before he thinks it's time to cripple
me again I'm hoping that I can get a real army together so he'll come back to cripple and I'll
actually beat him and then I go to his place which is empty.
Now this whole time, he's unmolested.
Right? So isn't he even
bigger and stronger? Like you're trying to
I don't know this game but I do know
Civ. I'm taking back a feat and he's
pumping iron.
What's happening is like I set him back
so suddenly he's like, oh fuck, I need to get like
eight more, I need to build
eight more people to put on food and seven more to put on wood and six more to put on gold.
Meanwhile, I've got like 20 people on everything and I'm building new settlements, increasing my population cap.
So even if he gets an army of 30, I'll just keep throwing 100 people at it until it dies away.
Is he just hopeless then?
No, they're like you can just like when I was playing with you and chis the other day and you i think wiped me out and i just like kept some soldiers and some workers and made a new
base in the corner everything he had except for like six workers who are unarmed and can do nothing
but build buildings and he went off into some corners of the world and built himself a new
little mini empire while i was trying to finish chis off and snuck into my base when all my troops
were across the world fighting Chiz
and just like, I don't know, minotaur
men tore all my things apart. This is probably boring
for the fans, but I'm really happy. Just smeared shit on the walls.
It was great. Yeah, yeah.
So that game right now
is what's like a bit of an addiction and I
should probably slow down with. I think my girlfriend's
gonna leave me if I...
She's like, you get three... She's like, you can have four days a week.
I get at least three.
I get at least three.
And I'm like, can we make it two?
She's like, no, we can fucking make it two.
Because I want to play the game every night.
And when I say play it, I'll get on and start playing.
And four hours will sneak by.
And I think there's still time to go upstairs and hang out with her.
But really, it's two in the morning. So that game right now. And I think there's still time to go upstairs and like hang out with her, but really it's two in the morning.
So that game right now is what I'm spending too much time and time doing.
Luckily it's free.
Yep.
I think when Woody said,
uh,
it was like,
like you,
when you realize it's a problem,
I think it's taken this long for it to click for me.
Uh,
the one time in my life where I knew like some,
well,
I didn't know until afterwards
that it was a problem was rockstar cola uh i got yeah the energy drink like i i tried red bull
and and monster and i drank them but i was never really like hey i gotta have one and then i started drinking rockstar cola and for some reason
it won lots of sugar and caffeine but it tasted like a jack and coke so i could just drink them
all the time i was like ah whatever and then it got to the point where i could tell you how old
the can or how old the can was by the design because there were like the really old ones were
gold and black and then the newer ones were like a gloss black top and then the the newest ones
were like flat black everything and matt was like really cool but um anyways i i got to the point
where i was like fuck man all right like i gotta get my day started, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I'm always drinking them. And I go through like crazy withdrawal
headaches and stuff. And it took them fucking discontinuing them before I could stop drinking
them. And when they did, I was running around LA like a fucking crackhead, like a crackhead,
just trying to buy as many of them as i could i was getting on amazon i was
like on social media hitting rockstar up was like hey you know if i could buy a few more cases
maybe just turn the machines off for 10 minutes and those will be mine
give me 10 minutes alone with the vet you know to the point where I found the last place in L.A. that had them was this donut shop.
And the lady who owned it realized that there weren't any more because I kept coming in there buying them.
And she couldn't get them from her distributor again.
She's like, Jesus, this dude's like, we're selling all kinds of Rockstar colas.
We got to restock.
And then she's like, oh, I can't get these anymore you can only buy one i was like what she's like
only one he's like you gotta buy something else too and i'm like what the fuck is this
it's like this is like a drug dealer here what's in it for her she won't sell me any cola yeah so for every like for like three weeks every single morning
i would get up and i'd walk to this donut shop and i get a apple fritter and a rock star cola
and then i would just be sitting at my desk and i go fuck i probably i might have a problem
you're like do i have a drug dealer now?
What a low thing on, like, that kind of problem.
Where, like, when you're starting that up, I'm like, man,
maybe he really struggled with crack cocaine a few years ago or something.
Like, maybe this is him, like, getting in shape,
really putting his life back on track.
And you're like, the only time I really noticed it was,
God, I can't even believe I'm bringing this up
but Rockstar Cola
like that's so low
on what could be a problem
like why didn't you just, what do you drink now?
Like I just switched to whatever's available
NOS, two for three dollars, not bad
As soon as I got, like I was like
I'm not gonna drink energy drinks again
that's like, I'm not gonna run the risk of
Guys who flush Adderalls up and snort lines
off a toilet seat.
Your rock star
cola addiction is really
not coming across well here.
It would legit affect
the day.
I think that's the issue.
You should have called me. I'd have hooked you up with some G Fuel.
Oh.
So you don't drink any?
I love energy drinks.
But I've never gotten a headache when I didn't get one.
I do.
Yeah, I have to keep caffeine going or I'll get headaches.
I drink a cup of coffee in the morning.
And sometimes I'll have one in the afternoon.
But Interspliced is nothing but soda.
I've said this many times and people don't believe me.
I drink nothing but soda and coffee.
There's a trash can next to me with
20 of these in it.
When I look at my end table sometimes in my living room,
it looks like someone dared
me to drink as many Diet Dr. Peppers
as possible.
It looks like I just finished a contest.
This is the Diet Dr. Pepper Cherry.
Oh, I like
Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper.
Have you ever had
kidney stones?
Never, not once ever.
I don't think I ever will based on my current track record.
Even as a child, it was Diet Pepsi constantly.
Well, you are...
I don't know when kidney stones...
It's more common the older you get, right?
So many sodas.
That gives you kidney stones?
Yeah. And some people um in a few years yeah i had a friend telling me that his son had them the
other day and he was talking about how painful they were he was like i was outside uh with my
diesel and sitting in my diesel truck with the window down and i could hear matthew screaming
in the bathroom in the house he's like i ran in there and he's laying in the tub, like trying to pass
this stone, just
in the fetal position, screaming.
That's when I'd want some heroin. I was like, how big
was it? He's like, well, if I were to come out,
you know, about as big as my pinky
nail. And I was just like...
That's huge. That's really big.
That's huge!
And they're not like a smooth BB.
They're like a medical leaf or something. Yeah, your bladder, your gall doesn't kind of
sand them down very well. They just push it through the assembly line all jagged.
It's a crystallized formation, so imagine rock candy like he said or something like
that, you know, it looks very jagged and I've seen it under a microscope. You
find that image for us, Chiz. That'd be good. It's just calcium, right? Microscopic or enhanced image of a kidney stone or whatever.
Magnified.
Isn't it calcium?
Yeah.
Like it's just...
It's calcium, I think.
Calcium.
Huh.
Yeah.
Is there calcium in soda?
I don't know.
I seriously doubt it.
I mean, there can't be any usable source of calcium. I seriously doubt it.
I mean, there can't be any usable source of calcium. I'm usually very careful to get calcium free.
Oh, good lord.
That doesn't even look like what I've seen before.
That looks horrible.
Oh, fuck that.
I'd cut my dick off.
Yeah, it looks like a booger.
It's like halfway through my dick, and I'm just like, fuck it!
Like, I can't take it.
You snip it off, like, squeeze it
through the bottom part like a go-gurt, and then just run to
the hospital and get them to re-sew it.
Oh, that's so awful.
And I know they can do, like, some sort of, uh,
there's a machine they can use to, like, bust those
up with ultrasonic waves or something
like that.
I would own one of those machines if this was an issue I had.
I hear about people who get them regularly,
and it's just a thing for them.
They get it once every two months or something.
Sounds awful.
Wow.
Previous guest, Doug.
Well, that's interesting, Chiz.
I don't like that.
That's like one of those problems
that if you had chronic kidney stones,
it's like there's no excuse
to not give that person
a prescription for morphine.
Just so any time of the day.
So what if it causes addictions?
If you're pissing out rocks every three weeks,
give them everything they need to get that done.
Just numb them. Yeah, that's an excuse for a drug problem cut me open all of it slice me in half get it out
i don't like those prescription pills really they make like when i have had to take them they make
me kind of itchy but that would be a time you definitely wanted the real shit like the what
house was addicted to shit not ibuprorofen. He's fiking it.
You know what I got in the mail the other day?
Fiking it. My tracker.
I think you got your tracker in the mail too.
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I love it. I already put it on my keys.
I haven't lost them yet.
So I don't know how, like I'll test it as soon
as I lose my keys but I'm ready
have you guys attached it to your stuff?
I attached it to a dog
oh which dog?
the one I care about
the weenie dog right?
no that's my dad's rat terrier
he's all shaky he's like shaky and shit.
He's like shaky and like really ornery,
but no, the weenie dog doesn't sound like that.
She's got more of a speech impediment because of her jowls.
Ah, speech impediment.
Yeah, I like how you just mix that in, you know.
Pepper and speech impediments, personality traits.
Dogs don't have lips.
I mean, I feel like with those jowls,
they wouldn't be able to enunciate very well,
so neither does she.
That makes sense.
She pissed in the bed the other night right on that Casper mattress,
and I immediately start ripping the top covers off and everything
to keep it from soaking in.
I was very upset about that.
Did you succeed?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I'm very unhappy with the dog.
I think the dog's becoming incontinent.
I don't think it can help it.
How old is it?
Like seven or eight.
Oh, my God.
Hold your piss a little longer than that.
Yeah, right?
It's a small dog, too.
That's like someone, that's a dog in Woody's stage of life.
Middle-aged.
If Woody was pissing himself every day, I'd be like, you know what?
How about you wait 20, 30 years and then talk to me?
I'm drinking so much.
I can piss whenever I want and someone will clean me.
Privilege, yeah.
That comes with like at 72, 73 minimum.
I love that dog, though.
I'm going to get her some diapers if I have to.
I told my girlfriend to try to find some stylish weenie diapers that wouldn't look like diapers so the other dogs wouldn't know.
Oh, thank God.
Yeah.
Yeah, I hate for that to happen.
Are there a lot of...
So you think the other dogs would be talking behind its back?
Yeah, yeah.
That it's a special accessory.
Oh, look at...
Oh, the wiener dog gets another treat.
Isn't that surprising?
They really don't like that.
The wiener dog will see that Kitty's dog has a sweater on or something, and she'll not
like it and try to pull it off the dog.
She wants her own sweater.
That's a really smart dog.
It's got a lot of personality.
Sounds like a dick.
Yeah, it is.
I like that.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a little more like a cat.
Oh, you know what I saw?
I had watched a documentary about this a while back.
It kind of goes back to our talk a while back
about how humans domesticated dogs from wolves,
that all dogs descend from wolves.
And in the same program I had watched
about how the Russians had bred these domesticated foxes
and how they interbred them generation after generation
to try to bring out friendly or pet-like traits
like white faces, curly tails,
and a better temperament, more trainable.
They've done it.
After 55 years of interbreeding, the Russians have created the perfect pet Fox the there's
a guy who's importing them right now I think he's got five for sale there nine
grand a pop and they don't look like regular foxes though they have these
white faces they're really intelligent and they're trainable they're like dogs
but they're foxes they're 10 pounds nine thousand dollars though what a
waste of money to buy a fox yeah if you know if I had ten million dollars I'd
have a nine thousand dollar Fox for sure because I think that's really cool
fucks head it looks so cool it looks so there's pointy though like it like
wasn't it wasn't it kind of like the orca thing, where after just a couple of generations,
the ears weren't as pronounced?
They started flopping?
It looked like a dog to me.
I saw the same article, probably, that Kyle saw.
I saw it on Reddit.
It had a lot of dog-like traits to me.
It was a fox. But fox but god it said something like
curiously that the genes for being like attracted to humans and stuff were also brought in dog-like
ears and dog-like noses and stuff like that there you go yeah have you seen like i don't know if
this is a video you're talking about but there's a video of this fox domestication where it shows, like, in one cage the foxes who are just regular fucking foxes.
And then there's another cage where they've been bred.
And the ones where they've been bred, people can go right up to it and it acts kind of like a dog, you know?
It's not like sprinting over to say hi, but it takes a measured look at you and then it's friendly.
The ones that haven't been trained like they are shaking
furiously in the back of their cages because they're so terrified of you coming towards them
like they want to attack you they're hissing at you they don't know they think you're there to
hurt them or eat them or something like they're freaking out yeah that's the same thing i saw i
think that's um it's called the history of dogs or something like that how dogs came to be it's
like it's the story of the of dogs and how they came to be.
It doesn't make sense why you would take the time and the money
to domesticate foxes like that.
We already figured out dogs.
I think it has something to do...
I think the reason is because you can't...
I think maybe the fox fur was very valuable,
but you have to hunt fox because they're not domesticatable,
so maybe they were trying to breed foxes puppy farm style so they'd have an unlimited amount of fox i don't know
but i they come they came up with a with a super pet um so i'd like one of those things
all those pets that like you watch youtube videos on where you think they'd be cool
yeah like sugar gliders like those little do you ever see those videos it's a little
gliders aren't like constantly in pain i found out later i bet they're constantly throwing a fit just little
screeches all day they're flying into shit you don't want them flying into oh my god i can't
find my sugar glider i think literally can't handle one without it being an agony i read
somewhere or something like that i feel bad for the sugar what is the sugar glider it's like a
tiny little it i don't know if it's
a marsupial or a rodent or what,
but it's a... There you go.
It looks like it weighs about a half an
ounce and that you could just kind of flick
its spine in two. Like, I don't feel like you could
ever comfortably hold it with a dog.
Even a small dog, you can be like, oh, gotcha!
Like, kind of, you know, roll it around
with this thing. You have to be like, oh,
how you doing? Like, yeah. Oh i'm glad um i i tried to get woody to get a pet wolf like
like her buddy out in texas um and i almost had him sold on the idea until i think he started
doing the research about you know you gotta feed it like 10 pounds raw steak a day and and you know
run like 20 miles or something to investigate it and the real problem
is wolves are assholes like they don't bond with people they're they're not nice they're like
they're timid they're like extremely frightened and then incredibly aggressive and they pace
constantly they don't do well in captivity it was just like oh it's cool and then it's different
than what other people have but that's about it not
the pet you want yeah did you just want it for the look i was buying a dog and i was i like big dogs
so i guess yeah just for the look you know i just told him that like hey there's this guy out there
he's got a fucking pet wolf like look into that and you know at first glance it sounds like a good
idea it does not sound all i
had to google was what's the best number of wolves to own and when everyone says zero i decided not
to go in that direction i get a cat or a dog i looked into it and they had like you know like
oh the um there was like a 45 minute episode of the dog whisperer who oh my god who like
helped somebody with a wolf but he didn't really know wolves
so he had a wolf expert come on and then he like the dog whisperer and the wolf whisperer like
partnered up and there were these wolf owners that were great owners he's like yeah yeah you know i
do my best i run him five miles a day on a leash right this guy's out there running five miles a day on a leash. This guy's out there running. Five miles a day on a leash. Fuck that.
And his backyard was like fucking Harvard for wolves or something.
It was all dedicated.
It was like a wolf institution of some sort.
And the wolf is still not doing well.
He's pacing.
Oh, he only likes his owner.
He wants to kill everyone else who comes around.
And I'm just like, I don't want anything to do with wolves.
No, you don't want anything to do with wolves no you don't want anything to do with wolves no you know i want it just because of the uh you know the connection to
game of thrones like i'm such a big game of thrones fan that i kind of want a dire wolf of
my own and like the dire wolves are like that like like you don't see the dire wolf walking over there
and hanging out with some fucking gray joys hell no no he's he's stuck with his owner and that's
who he cares about i I kind of like that.
A dog that would, you know, not be
social. If you got yourself a dire wolf,
it would like kitty.
Oh, I already did. I got him.
I already did. That's a real issue.
Dak's a real motherfucker.
You know, I
often look at him in that
cage and just think, like,
he could totally jump over that and come kill me right now. I don't think I could make it back to the house in that cage and and just think like he could totally jump over that
and come kill me right now i don't think i could make it back to the house in time and i don't have
a pistol on me like i'm at his mercy most of the time he just doesn't know it um yeah he's open
carrying in your own backyard just in case yeah yeah throw down yeah i picture you like waking up
like in a cold sweat at night because you think you hear
a faint bark or the pitter
patter of paws outside your door.
Remember in Jurassic Park
when the Velociraptor first turns
that doorknob and you're like,
oh shit. Dak did
that one night while we were all sitting in the
living room and emerged from her bedroom
and we were all just like the living room and emerged from her bedroom. And we were all just like...
And he's staring at me, and I'm
staring at him, and I'm like...
I'm looking over toward the hallway
and I'm thinking like, I can't
beat him there. And I'm like...
I'm looking around like, I can't
beat him anywhere. And I'm looking at the coffee table in front
of me, and I'm like, I can pick that whole fucking
coffee table up though. And I'm ready. I'm ready. If he takes one move, I'm grabbing at the coffee table in front of me i'm like i can pick that whole fucking top coffee table up though and i'm ready i'm ready if he takes one move i'm grabbing
the entire coffee table above my head but uh but luckily he was just like beat a dog to death he
like backs back in there and i'm and like but he opened the door by himself he knows how to open
the door he's he's a he's a real terrifying son of a bitch and he could kill me you know he's a
belgian mal those things aren't they're kind of made for hurting people and and to some regard ender also opens doors but the thing
about him is he doesn't recognize me at a distance right so every time i walk into a room he wants to
kill me every time i like you know he's just like wolf and and i'm all big and bad because i know
he's going to back off when he recognizes me like I'm like, who are you barking at? And then he chills.
But, yeah, Dak, what do we got here, Richard?
I was showing you this because I kind of felt the same way because I like big dogs myself.
And I saw this dog at the park.
And I was like, dude, if you breed this thing or you ever decide to get rid of it,
this is just a beautiful dog.
It would be so awesome to train.
It's a mix between a shepherd and a husky, and it just looks like a gray wolf.
I mean, it's so nice.
And the mask, everything on it is really nice.
Yeah, it's a pretty dog.
It looks like an athletic dog.
Looks like another of those dogs that would chase you down.
Yeah.
Do you train dogs for hunting or just to train them?
That was one of my first paid jobs as a kid was to train bird dogs.
It was like all Labrador Retrievers.
And as I got older,
a couple of my buddies have dog training schools and everything.
And when I moved out to Los Angeles,
working at the animal shelters and everything,
it was mostly like pits,
even though they ended up euthanizing
most of them and everything.
But when we got into the explosives world and everything,
my little dog like it
took half a day to train him on explosives i mean he couldn't go outside and and um and detect
anything when there's a strong wind blowing because their nose isn't doesn't go that far
into their sinus cavity into their brain uh like a mal or a shepherd they can detect
shit that machines can't i mean they it's just so deep how far the sinus cavity goes into their
brain but um i was so surprised i mean it took it took him working from treats and babies to deck cord in probably, I'd say, two hours.
That's cool.
I understand giving a dog treats.
You gave your dog babies?
Oh, they're little babies.
So, you know, the toys that they have maybe a psychological attachment to,
you know, like little squeaky animals.
Yeah.
I see.
too, like little squeaky animals.
Yeah.
I see.
So they have a specific scent or whatever that they could easily detect.
So you get them in the process of looking for something in a certain way, and then you imprint them on that smell and then move them on to different things, and you reward them
in that process.
And deck cord or PET petn is like you never
really run across that anywhere else so i was like all right well let's see if if he can imprint on
this smell and figure it out wherever i take it and sure enough he got in the rhythm of doing it
half a day so what are you doing so you're like holding the cord in front of him i guess giving
him a scent and then you have another piece hidden somewhere and then he goes and just finds that how far away
are you hiding these like i just don't know i man it was kind of one of those games where we do when
people would come over uh it was just like i would take and have him go sit sit in like the studio
and just in a completely different area of the house. And I just have like a guess at a point where you want me to put this. And like, I would like try to get it as casual as
possible without like really putting as much of my scent over there. So he doesn't know that I've
moved over there. Uh, high, low, whatever the air is kind of controlled in the house.
You don't have a wind blowing or anything like that so it doesn't really matter if he's up or downwind so it's a little bit easier for a small
dog um but yeah it was i mean a lot of guys you'll to do it professionally they use like boxes and
different things like that yeah i was gonna say to heal on but that school where i got dac they
had like a wall with maybe a dozen holes in it.
And there were boxes attached to each one
and he was hiding like fake marijuana
or something like that.
And whatever the dog was trying to find.
And whenever he got to the right one,
if he bumped the right one,
from the hole, a tennis ball would shoot out.
And he loved that fucking tennis ball.
That was all he cared about.
Have you ever been in a bite suit?
No.
It's crazy because they got to the point now where most places,
unless you're buying the dog like you,
they don't want you to decoy because one can mess up a dog
that they spend a lot of money on.
But I know Mike Dowling, he wrote this book Sergeant Rex he's in the Marine Corps as a
military war working dog handler and he was telling me about how Camp Pendleton they would
occasionally have the media come out and they would do different things you know either shoot guns or
decoy for the dog program and so the reporter is like talking oh
blah blah blah blah blah they get him in the dog suit and he's like fuck it we're gonna send out
our hardest hitting dog and they sent this dog on him and when he jumped and bit him in the arm it
actually snapped his i don't know what this bone is in half and so it did two things there
uh one it made the the dog program uh as far as like the aggression dogs look super badass because
he snapped his arm through through a bite suit uh but then two it kind of did away like the
the government won't won't do um decoys with civilians anymore so now
they'll just have like guys who are just getting into the program or something get out there and
decoy or some of them more experienced guys you should that is ridiculous you shouldn't be able
to be like oh hey i want to put on this bite suit and run around and they're like oh okay
hey you know you're really fucking funny let's uh let's sick Cujo on him. You know, let's send him back there.
That was my experience.
They kid.
Everybody got a big laugh out of this except for me.
You know, wait, was it Dak?
No, it was much worse than Dak. The dog that he was sicking on me was he had like a like a 75 pound Belgian male.
And he had like a much bigger German shepherd.
And it was like his dog that
that that was like super trained it was the one that would go get him beers from the fridge
that dog was a real handful and the suit itself is incredibly big and bulky and you're hot in there
and i mean i could i had i was literally swinging the dog like straight out in circles like it's
holding my arm and i'm just like bracing my arm with my other arm and spinning you know round and round to the dog and i'm looking him in the
eyes and he's just and it's like his whole body is suspended i'm spinning him so hard i i i've
grabbed him and like flipped him over my shoulder um but what would happen if like you got a good
move and you like just hurled this dog like 8 feet behind you
It falls just
That exact thing happened
Alright, I felt bad about it
But look, that dog had been whipping my ass all fucking day
And I mean whipping my ass
Like he's biting hard
The guy's like
Pockin' Pockin' Pockin'
And he's fucking
He'll like make him bite my crotch
Make him bite my leg make him bite my
abdomen make him bite my right arm now my left arm now now chest now chest and he's just i'm just
exhausted and finally he like jumps up and bites me here and i didn't mean to flip him through the
air i meant to like just pick him up but i flipped him over my shoulder and he did land on his back
and yelped a little bit but he had it coming i'd been getting my ass whooped all day i was gonna say if they if they they sent dac on you before you got him imprinted yeah that'd be yeah that's a hell
of a way to introduce a yeah yeah yeah that that wasn't the case but they uh they had some other
dogs there to to do that to me uh that that was that was fun but it was a real workout i had no
idea that they bit that hard and that they were that vicious
like you just can't get away from those motherfuckers yeah when you hear like 75 pounds
or something you're like human thought process is like oh that's not very big like that even a small
one is that size but like an animal like we're such pathetic bitches by weight to power ratio
when it comes to other animals he's a chomping machine
that's what he's good at and like like i said like like i can pick him up and i can throw him
i can throw him over a truck or something he's he's yeah but he'd be right back around that
truck and have you right back around that truck yeah yeah i don't know if kyle and i talked about
this or not but i i feel like i feel like there is a – I don't know.
Like a lot of people have a – I don't know.
When it comes to different things, nostalgia, when it comes to the military and everything.
And I don't know.
They like owning things from that type of world or whatever. like shepherds were one thing because you can find a lot of shepherds that are really really good
like house dogs to kind of timid or they can be either or but when it comes to mouths like
they're like there are timid mouths but they're very few and far between and i feel like there's
so many people who get a mouth and then they realize, oh, shit, I got in over my head.
These dogs.
What kind of dog is this?
Belgian Malinois.
Belgian Malinois.
Yeah.
M-A-L-N, like what is it?
Malinois?
M-A-L-I-N-O-I-S, yeah.
Their prey drives and their energy levels are just, man, you've got to run the fuck out of them.
They're a huge responsibility.
I know a lot of guys are just like, I can't do it.
That doesn't look like the kind of dog that you would buy under the presumption that it was going to be a gentle little pup.
I didn't want a gentle.
I thought it would be my friend.
I thought he'd be my badass.
I thought he'd be my badass i thought
he'd be sitting next to me looking for other people to fuck up that's what i wanted i love
that idea that like and you know i like the commands and everything and his was so obedient
like i felt like his was a tool not an animal anymore it was like it was as a it felt as
effective as a handgun because he could just point and that dog was coming and that he's not gonna miss
he the dog's not probably is better than a handgun in a lot of scenarios oh it's just that dog
especially a house oh yeah oh god i'd hate to be in fucking close quarters for that motherfucker
yeah everything like you can have a plan to like burgle someone or whatever but as soon as you walk in you get that like like you're gonna like it's that uh what's the quote it's like everybody's got a plan
till they get punched in the face like tyson like so you see a dog like that like what do you do
what's like you you have like a crowbar like home alone style burglary and you walk in and
see that thing growling at you like you can't just walk back out the door and be like well
clearly i've made a mistake.
I feel like I could take most dogs with a crowbar.
I feel like with a club,
I feel like with a club, a man's better than a dog.
I feel like you would get...
I feel like animals react differently
to pain in the midst of a fight.
I'm not talking about pain.
I can swing a bat real fucking hard.
I feel like a man with a bat is better than virtually any dog.
I think you've got to keep them in you because they're the way they're trained to
to grab is like not actually from the front if they come at you from the front then yeah crowbar
or a bat or something like you even your hands you could you could probably like get one up
underneath the neck or something like they're trained to actually come like behind you and
grab like the meat of the back
of your arm so you're trying to swing
around and you just
can't do anything about it.
Jeez. Well, that sounds really...
That's a good deterrent.
I believe if Kyle hits this... I'm sorry.
I believe if Kyle hits this dog,
the dog's in a lot of trouble. But also,
Kyle, I feel like you've got one shot to hit
a moving target. I'm going to choke
up on that bat. What I don't want to do is go
like Mark McGuire on this thing and swing for the fences.
I'm going to choke up and I'm going to be
like some of these.
These weak palms are sweaty. It's late at night.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You don't have to swing a bat very hard for it to
be pretty fucking substantial.
But you're right. You miss and
lose your balance or
something you gotta hit it hard enough to demotivate a dog with bloodlust in its eyes
what's that um call of the wild the jack london novel like that's what happened in that like that
you know you're inside buck the dog's head and buck finally learns a dog is no match for a man
with a club like that was one of the key lessons that's the first lesson he learns once once he's
like taken into captivity and it begins his journey to being what happens at the end.
That's a great book.
I think I heard something about Into the Gray,
or The Gray, that they're talking about doing another one.
Oh, my God.
Why?
Liam actually kills the alpha and becomes, like...
This is my idea! This is my idea!
I said this years ago. I've been saying this for years.
Like, the movie that should be, like, what I wanted is for Liam Neeson to be the alpha wolf.
And, like, it comes back on, and you just see, like, all of a of a sudden like the camera's looking down a valley
and you see elk or caribou or some shit and then it slowly comes up and you look up like like like
upward facing angle to liam and he's fucking like mountain manned out beard and and like all he's
wearing like skins he's got he's got a primitive weapon of some kind and he just goes like points and the whole fucking pack runs past him after the elk and then he starts jogging like
that jog that you saw like primitive man doing with the way it yeah the way it happens is that
first scene is it's just the wilderness and the the moon there and you hear the oh and then as
you're hearing it then it cuts from that to just a pan
down shot and you see that the oh noise is coming from liam neeson's face and he looks solemnly over
and he goes when he points and then all of them take off and then the entire movie is about uh
his wolf pup gets taken by the grizzly clan and he has to go to the Grizzlies and find a way to sneak in and get his pup out.
It's called Graken.
Graken.
Yeah.
That's it.
All right, so Chiz and I were,
I guess we were all talking before the show,
and we thought that some trivia might be fun.
Ooh.
Yeah.
So I'm reading Chiz's...
We were going to do a
Chardy McDennis-style one,
where we all submit things that only we would know the answer
to like i would put in like ridiculous hockey stats and kyle would put in like what bolt to
put in an ar 68c from the korean war i want to do some hockey talk later i don't want to derail the
quiz thing but uh taylor was completely wrong about the flyers not making the playoffs i'll
wait all right that has to decided, but we'll see.
Anyway, Kyle, go ahead.
So it looks like he's got 25 questions.
Chiz, aren't you going to have to read these out loud?
Yes.
Yeah, let's do it now.
Did you read the rules?
No.
I'm going to read them for you.
So there's 25 questions.
Questions will be read out loud, and the participants say beep to say they want to answer.
I think a better idea would be for everyone to use their keyboards.
That way, everybody type the letter F, and then use the enter key as your buzzer.
And whoever gets the letter in first gets it, right?
So, Woody.
Anyway, correct answers are worth two points.
If no one wants to answer, we'll go down to multiple choice,
where now the correct answer is only worth one point.
Negative one point for incorrect answers.
Is there a chance to steal?
Yeah, so if nobody gets it, it'll move on to someone else that can jump in.
You only can answer once, obviously.
You can't keep buzzing in.
But if you didn't understand that, I'm going to ask,
what is the capital of France?
And then if you know it, buzz in. But if you didn't understand that, I'm going to ask, like, what is the capital of France? And then if you know it,
you know, buzz in and say the answer, and then
you get two points. If no one
wants to answer or knows the answer,
I'll push it to multiple choice, which is worth
less points, obviously.
These are, I'm not, they're not categorized.
They're all kind of randomized together. It was hard
to categorize
them, so we're just going to... That's fine. Let's give it a go. Alright, so keyboard. Type the They're all kind of randomized together. It was hard to categorize them. I understand.
That's fine.
Let's give it a go.
All right.
So keyboard, type whatever you want.
Whoever typed something in.
All right.
Here we go.
First question.
The layer of the atmosphere closest to us is known as what?
Stratosphere.
That is incorrect.
Negative one point.
I am going to say... Remember, you can...
What if you wait until you're called on before you answer?
Oh, okay.
But now Taylor's up.
But you are up. You did buzz in.
Troposphere?
That is correct. Taylor is up a point.
Wow.
Two points, I thought, right?
Yeah, you're right.
Let's make sure no one's clicking away.
Oh, did you Google?
No, I had one on the enter and one on the three.
And Richard, no one stayed on it, but I thought it was obvious you can play too as well.
Okay.
I'd encourage that you do.
Alright, I'm in.
I'm just gonna let you sit out there and deal with yourself.
What color...
We always let the guest win.
What color
was Slimer in the original Ghostbusters?
Oh.
Green. That is correct. Two points.
That was
incredibly easy. I thought that was a
trick question. If it was easy, why did you bitches
win, huh?
Rings were in the Lord of the Rings. Some are easy and some are gonna be hard that you're going to bitch at how hard they are. It's a trivia.
Nine were for ten.
Alright, let's stop typing.
I'm about to ask a question.
What color are bees not able to see?
Oh!
Kyle got in.
I was just guessing.
Blue? That is incorrect.
That's a shame. I get a two for Kyle now. Yeah it is, that's a damn shame.
Woody gets an answer and then I get mine, right? Woody?
Nah, Kyle took mine, I'm not gonna go. Do I get to do that? Am I forced to guess?
I think you buzzed in, unfortunately. I buzzed in, but after you did.
If we were to think of it, this is a real live game show, it wouldn't work that way.
It would just be a pause and then
the remaining contestants would buzz in afterwards.
Can I answer since Woody is foregoing? Yes, sure. Green.
That is incorrect. Fuck! Alright, I think it's yellow.
That is incorrect.
It's not too late!
It's too late!
It's not too late.
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
Richard, would you like to guess?
Is it red?
That is correct.
Richard is on the board and in the lead now.
Did you google that?
I've processed it and tested this.
Nobody sees bees, but they couldn't see.
Cause infrared, or like red, like a lot of animals can't find it's not the time for facts
Coyotes you use a red spotlight. You got a real ringer here folks all right
This is horseshit all right in which Olympic event might you encounter the terms eggbeater and flamingo?
Woody synchronized swimming that is correct fuck off y'all i know shit so
hoping you'd get that one all right one now dude i'll do a different one who split the atom
oh i want to stress this again remember you can all move it down to multiple choice a Sir Thomas Lichtenstein
but we didn't win you didn't even know he didn't get in
no I made up but he sounds real it's for what's on what either
it is not to his own time nobody has buzzed in nobody is but I'm going to
like to buzz in
here he put K yeah I buzzed I bet K was Kyle buzzing in right there.
Gotcha.
Kyle, go.
Oppenheimer?
Nope.
Good guess.
All right, we've got to be more definitive.
What does splitting the atom mean?
What does he German?
Who was the man who split the atom?
That's what it means.
Wasn't Oppenheimer running the Manhattan Project?
I don't know, but somebody did that before the Manhattan Project.
I have the answers to my questions.
All right, fair enough.
This is an obvious one that we're going to be pissed at.
Are we going down to process of elimination or multiple choices?
Just go to process of elimination.
Who split the atom?
Sir John Percy, Sir Henry Adams, Sir William King,
or Sir Ernest Rutherford?
Ooh, Ernest and Rutherford are old-timey names.
That's a promising one.
I don't know.
Adam is kind of Adam, though, so. hmm oh he named it after himself I'm
gonna say well I was gonna say Einstein but he's not in the list read him again
I feel like Oppenheimer John Percy sir Henry Adams sir William William King, Sir Ernest Rutherford. I think we all know that it was good old Percy, right?
That is incorrect, Taylor.
Fuck.
Okay, so who did it, and what exactly did they do?
Because I'm a bit befuddled here.
We're getting lost in the weeds.
Just pick out a...
If nobody wants to answer, the answer was...
Do you lose points if you get it wrong was... Do you lose points if you...
Yes, you lose points.
Oh, fuck.
I know.
You did buzz in, sir.
So I buzzed in, so I have to answer?
You do.
Very strict about that.
All right, so...
Go with Oppenheimer.
Oppenheimer?
I did it.
It's not even a choice.
It was wrong.
I don't want to make fun of you, but if you were paying attention to the multiple choice options, that in fact
was not a choice for Kyle.
Whoever A was.
I forget whoever A was.
Also, if you were paying attention, A was the one Taylor had picked.
So everybody's gone but me, right?
No, you were.
Just say Rutherford.
Wait, how did I go?
We should really move along and just tell us who did it
and how they did it.
I can't hear what Taylor's saying.
Sir Ernest Rutherford.
Oh, I was right!
What did Ernest do exactly?
I'm not going to Google that in the middle of the game, Kyle.
I think you're... I'm calling bullshit on that one.
I'm not... I saw the awards.
Who won the 2010 FIFA World Cup?
That one team where a lot of Latinos live, right?
I don't know.
Germany. Spain.
That is correct. Woody is now
taking the lead.
I've had three right and one wrong, so I think that gives me
He's got so many monitors, Google's up on all of them.
He's got Colin in the corner.
I know that because Chiz lived
here during the last World Cup
and told me many times that Spain won.
All right.
What food is hummus made from?
Peas.
Well, Woody, hold on.
We've got to buzz in.
Woody, then me, and then Taylor get to answer.
Well, God.
I'm a little screwed.
Taylor said peas?
Yeah, it's made out of green beans.
Alright, because I thought it was made out of goat.
Woody goes, then I go, and then Taylor goes.
Wait, I go after Woody, right?
Isn't it like goat intestines?
Holy shit. Woody answered first.
Fuck the order. Let Woody answer.
What? I answered.
I thought it was goat. I guess I'm wrong.
Intestines is incorrect.
No, I go after Woody right? On my screen it's me, Kyle, Taylor, and you're last.
That is correct. Does it look different on your screen? Yeah it's completely different.
Make sure you're scrolled down all the way.
Yeah on my screen I'm first so I think I should be.
Well the answer is chickpeas and on most of the screens I am next.
Yes that is correct. Kyle was also the order where you riled off was the same order
Did you know the answer before I said it? I just want to put out this typing system was Kyle's idea
So if there is any hate coming off of it, and I'll go if you want me there is nothing to do
Which city has hosted the most Olympic Games?
There is nothing to do.
Which city has hosted the most Olympic games?
Kyle?
Athens, Greece?
That is incorrect.
That's a good guess.
Yeah, right?
I figured the old ones ought to have always been there, right?
It was definitely up there.
There's... Okay.
We can move it down to...
Multiple choice.
Multiple choice.
All right.
Is it Beijing? Is it London? Is it choice all right is it Beijing is it
London is it Athens or is it Los Angeles London Taylor is correct
oh wait is he next he buzzed in first oh not on my screen it's me that looks at
this turn this team around did he really buzz it first are you sure I really did
buzz it positive yeah it was him and then you. Taylor, you are back at zero.
Any consolation? I didn't know the answer.
Who plays Nancy Botwin on the comedy drama TV show
Weeds?
That was an accident. I didn't mean to do that one.
Okay, I'll let it slide.
I'm in there.
I don't know what the order is.
Richard Ryan went first.
Hold on, sorry. Richard Ryan did go first, in fact, on my screen. I don't know what the order is. Richard Ryan went first. Hold on. Sorry.
Sorry.
Richard Ryan did go first, in fact, on my screen.
I think we should just raise our hands.
I don't know.
Mary Louise Parker?
You got the answer correct.
Why did you say you didn't know?
You clearly knew.
She's the only person I know on the show, so I was like, all right, I'm just going to
try to get back up on the board.
Nice.
You are in the lead now. All right. Wait try to get back up on the board. Nice.
Wait, wait.
He's in the lead?
Yes.
Yeah, because we keep answering incorrectly, and we're killing ourselves.
This game is going to end like minus 10 to minus 8 to 2.
Which sitcom starred kids named Theo, Vanessa, and Rudy?
Oh.
Taylor was first.
Oh, not on my screen. No, I'm sorry.
Woody was first. Oh, The Cosby Show. That is correct. I! Taylor was first. No, I'm sorry. Woody was first.
Oh, the Cosby show.
That is correct.
You guys help me out and do that so
I can clearly see between questions.
But Woody got it right. That is plus two.
Back in the lead.
Alright.
Taylor, a bit of a harder, more college
educated man question. Not to say
Woody isn't.
I'm going to have trouble saying this.
The characters of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern appear in which Shakespeare play?
Hands off that one.
Hamlet?
That is correct.
Nice, Kyle.
All that college learning must have been.
I saw it on the television. Correct. Nice Kyle. All that college learning must have been. Back to Taylor.
I thought on the TaylorVision.
Where is the thickest skin found on the human body?
I'm in.
I'm in.
The back.
That is correct again.
Not only did Kyle outbuzz me, but I would have got it wrong.
I was going to say that bundle between your ball sack and your butthole.
I thought it was your heel. I thought it butthole. I thought it was your heel.
Alright. Yeah, I would think heel.
Woody, that is the second answer. Palm and feet.
What was the name of the meth that Jesse Pinkman initially made and distributed?
Kyle? He put the chili powder in it.
Chili pee or something?
That's what he called it.
He called it chili pea.
Kyle is the only one who has buzzed in,
so Kyle, you have to give me an answer.
That's a shame.
I don't recall.
That's a shame.
I don't remember what it was called.
All right, Taylor.
Chili pea.
That is correct.
I said chili pea. No, you didn't. No, you really correct I didn't think that was a possible
anyway what he called powder which country had the most casualties during
World War two I got when I was watching.
Wait, where did he lose it?
He did three last one, and then did three again.
That's why he's typing.
Oh, I see, I see.
Anyway, go on, Taylor.
Russia.
That is correct.
Russia is correct.
Four, for those curious, the scores right now,
Woody with five points, Kyle with two,
Richard with four, and Taylor with four.
Anyone's game still.
Plenty of questions on the board.
Getting a little bit tougher here.
Who was the only U.S. president to be a bachelor?
Oh, god damn it.
I don't know it.
It was the one that they all think is gay.
Oh, what's his fucking name?
Oh, I think I might know this.
I just have to throw in, was it Hayes?
That is incorrect.
Was it?
Well, I mean, it's Taylor's turn now.
I'm sorry.
Is it Tyler?
No, that is incorrect.
I don't even know if we had a president.
John Tyler?
He was only president for like a little bit.
Oh, that isn't.
Woody and Richard, would you like to move to multiple choice?
Yeah, fuck yeah. Let's hear it.
The only U.S. president to be a bachelor, was it Calvin Coolidge, Andrew Garfield, James Buchanan, or William McKinley?
Buchanan.
It's almost like you don't know the rules of the game.
It's almost like that.
Buchanan. Except you should, because there's only like you don't know the rules. Buchanan. It's almost like that. Buchanan.
Except you should, because there's only like one rule.
So now I have six, right?
Yes.
Wait, was that correct?
Yes, that was correct.
I was trying to throw him off the case by being confident with it.
I had no idea.
Oh.
Well, thank you.
Well, it didn't work.
All right.
idea. Oh. Well, thank you.
Well, it didn't work.
Alright. The 45-mile supply run known as
the Voice Secree
was established to supply which
French location?
Les Corsons?
Oh, oui.
You guys are...
You enjoy your history documentaries.
Multiple choice? Is that where we're going?
We're going multiple choice. All right.
Is it Paris, Yon, Verdun, or Lion?
I think it's Lyon.
It is not Lyon.
Oh, that's a shame.
Verdun.
Sorry, what was that, Chair?
Answer?
Yeah.
Yes, that is correct.
Oh, you tried to Regis Philbin me, you bastard.
You tried to get me to double back and pick a new answer.
You answer out of turn so often, I didn't know you had typed something that time.
Put the break in there.
Oh.
That was breaking between the questions, yeah.
Oh, okay.
All right.
In It's Always Sunny sunny what's the name of
the family who's home of the sorry and it's in taylor you already went you got started
mcpoil's no that is incorrect your cockiness just removed that point all right i think hang on
and you haven't buzzed in so So I'm gonna read the question.
In its all-
Martinez.
Oh.
Martinez?
No, that is incorrect.
Oh!
They both get negative ones.
Yeah.
Alright, I will finish reading.
In its always sunny in Philadelphia, what is the name of the family whose home the gang
forcibly make over in the home makeover episode?
I thought it was the Martinez family. I'm gonna gonna type multiple choice multiple choice richard and woody yes okay is it the sanchez
family the perez family the morena family all right woody the sanchez family no it is not
it was so close to martinez i thought maybe that was it. I'll read them again, and Richard, you can take a guess or abstain.
Is it the Sanchez family?
I'm going to abstain.
I don't know shit about it.
All right, abstain.
Nope.
It's fine.
One, two, three.
The Juarez family.
Yep.
I'm sad that I didn't know that.
I really am.
Martinez.
Well, that was disappointing.
Anyway, continue. All right. Well, that was disappointing. Anyway, continue. It was.
The second highest mountain in the world,
Mount Godwin-Austin,
is also known as what?
Woody went first. Woody got in.
K2. That is correct.
Very good.
Very good indeed. Thank you.
I got a search back.
All right.
Who plays the part of Caesar in the 2011 version of Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Kyle?
Wait.
Isn't Caesar that monkey?
I just have an issue in that.
Yeah, because he continued the question.
Yeah, Kyle was going to play who played Caesar long before you named the movie.
Yeah, yeah.
I, I, I, I, um,
I don't know how to handle this. I know that he buzzed in around when I said Rise, so we had already gotten
past 2011. I don't,
I don't know the answer anyway. I thought, I thought
for sure we were going to, uh, going to that
new movie that's coming out by the Coen brothers.
Yeah. Caesar is a
monkey in that movie, right? Yeah.
So wouldn't the name of the actor be that monkey
probably like pebbles you did rich go on andy circus that is correct you are
a media man nice let's see richard wow richard yeah so the score right now is Woody 7, Kyle 0, Richard 6, and Taylor 3.
A couple more questions on the board.
Fuck.
What were the names of the Blues Brothers?
Jake Elway Blues.
That is...
Nicely done.
I, you know, I'm going to look this up real quick.
I'm going to see if your answer was acceptable.
What was your answer, Kyle?
He said Jake and Elway's Blues.
Elway.
Blues. The Blues Brothers.
I'm sorry. I'm going to have to say that again.
No.
I like how you apologize. I'm sorry.
Unfortunately, we're going to have to take those points back.
Looks like you didn't get the obligation to this game.
So.
Ah!
So I'll read it again.
But what were the name of the Blues Brothers?
Anyone?
Or we can go to multiple choice.
Multiple choice.
Okay.
Was it Jake and John? Was it John choice. Okay. Was it Jake and John?
Was it John and Elwood?
Was it Jake and Elwood?
Woody?
Jake and Elwood.
That is correct. God damn it.
That's frustrating. That's what's above
my toilet. There's a
big wooden movie
poster from the Blues Brothers. That's
frustrating. I called him Elway instead of Elwood all right we got a surge ahead Kyle we're
getting butt fuck oh it's going real bad one Richard is just playing so
conservative oh I know and he's doing pretty well it's doing very well
It's doing very well.
Make a good question.
Who played the part of Commodus in the Academy Award-winning movie Gladiator?
I got it.
Joaquin Phoenix.
That is correct, Richard.
He was Commodus?
Yeah, for some reason I was thinking Commodus was
Joaquin Phoenix's father's character.
Are Richard and I tied at 8?
That's Marcus Aurelius and that was played by...
I forget his name.
Yeah, that old actor.
What's the score now, Chews? Are we tied at 8?
Let me add, you are correct.
You two are tied at eight.
I just need to look something up real quick.
I'm really hoping to win
the nothing that comes with this.
It's so funny
because everyone's so competitive.
Everyone's so competitive.
Alright.
Which of the following TV shows
aired the most seasons? I didn didn't think but i'll make this a
two-pointer but obviously this is a question you need to hear the options for so is it 24
freaks and geeks lost or breaking bad what was the oh lost what no i got it first
uh you're right i thought that three was from the previous round.
No, it was lost.
All right.
I think Richard got it first.
No, that was from the last one.
Everyone agrees it wasn't me.
Taylor, you got it incorrect, though.
It's not lost?
No, so now who's next?
What was the question?
So wait, wait, wait.
All right, hang on.
Slow down for a minute.
Slow down for a minute.
Taylor rung in first.
Who's second after Taylor
I think Kyle is you are so what are those? What are those? What are those? I will beat them again
Can I just duck the point from Taylor? All right, and what are you didn't hear the question?
So I'll read the question again and the options I got the following TV shows aired the most seasons
24 freaks and geeks
Woody 24 my turn most seasons. 24 Freaks and Geeks Woody. 24.
I thought it was my turn.
What are you talking about?
We're having a lot of issues here.
But I thought I
rang in after Taylor. You asked me to
reread everything.
Which
somehow means that you lost your turn, I guess.
Yeah, I guess so.
Which means there's a new round
of buzzing in.
This is a conspiracy.
I think so.
I'll throw that question out.
Hey!
I'll throw that question out.
I have a better idea.
Go on with Woody's better idea
with this stupid typing mechanic Kyle implemented.
I will split the two points with Kyle. There you go. You each get a point. Go on, what's Woody's better idea with this stupid typing mechanic Kyle implemented?
I will split the two points with Kyle.
There you go, you each get a point.
That's unfair.
I want at least five of Ryan's points.
Kyle, back up to zero.
What are you, Bernie Sanders?
All right.
I'm not doing very well, can we just share them?
I think really that... Go on.
It is mathematically impossible for Kyle
or Taylor to win this game right now.
It's not true. They can keep getting them wrong over and over
and go negative.
I still don't think they could go that
negative. There's an unlimited amount of bad
questions to ask us on the internet. We can play
this until cows come home. What political
party was Millard Fillmore,
the president, associated with?
Taylor.
The Whig Party.
That is correct.
I was going to guess that.
Well, you're both smarter men than I.
It's a guess.
Well, that's a hell of a fucking guess.
That's a real part.
All right.
Last question for you buffs out there of the histories.
After the death of John F. Kennedy and Robert Kennedy,
how many children did Ted Kennedy end up adopting?
Six.
Oh, yeah, that's Barbara.
I know, I didn't buzz in.
Which one did he...
What's that thing called when they cut out a piece of your brain?
Lobotomy?
Yeah, he lobotomized one of his kids, one of the girls,
I think.
That's pretty fucked up. I didn't know that. Did you count that one?
That's a half-baked.
I can go into detail on this after an answer's been submitted.
Well, I am not risking
this one. I'm not putting a choice.
You're going to multiple choice, really?
You don't want to throw your game? Risk. I gotta make the playoffs. I'm not putting a choice. Really? You want to throw your game?
I got to make the playoffs.
I'm pushing. Multiple choice?
Oh, Kyle. Three. It is.
Three. Alright.
No.
Show me five!
That is
wrong as well.
Richard and Woody, would you like to go to multiple choice?
Not that many numbers left. That's
reasonable.
Can I get a multiple choice confirmation
or are you two going to actually guess?
You don't get multiple choices for numbers.
Is this the last question?
Yes, it's the last question. And Woody is ahead
by one point for the record.
So I have to answer.
Multiple choice? We going there?
Yeah. Okay. And choice? We going there?
Okay. And you're all going to be very surprised.
Is it 15 children?
11 children?
13 children? Or 9 children?
Taylor, you're done.
It's between Richard and Woody.
Look at Richard. Look at those gears turning.
How many times did that guy fuck?
How many times did he pop one in his head?
Someone has to go for it because Woody's ahead by one.
If you both win, that's the score.
Woody's not going to go for it until you do.
Right.
Yeah.
I'll wait forever.
You take your 25% shot at tying. You have to.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, so can I hear the options again?
And I'll guess if I get it.
15, 11, 13, 9.
And Richard, you are the guest.
You get a 50-50 lifeline if you want to go ahead and use that right now.
Shut up.
Really?
No.
Phone a friend.
I will do it for you right now.
Yeah, Google.
Here we go.
No, that's cheating.
Yeah.
I feel like nine being the lowest number would be
wrong.
Because everything else is so much higher.
Solid points.
Solid points.
I don't know.
11 or 13.
I'll read them again for you.
15, 11,
13, 9. Fuck. or 13 13 i'll read them again for you again 15 11 13 9 fuck uh 11 or 15 uh double digits so
they wouldn't have made such a big deal out of it yeah let's fuck it go big or go home let's just
say 15 well you'd be correct if two of his children didn't die before the parents died?
The answer was 13.
Wait, his kids died, but that doesn't mean they just never existed.
He had those kids.
He didn't adopt them. No, he adopted 13.
Oh, the question was after they died, right?
They died before the parents.
He adopted dead people, you know.
Well, Woody is the champion of our trivia game, which was brought to you by Ring.
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Well done. Check them out. that's ring.com slash pka with the ring video doorbell you're always home well done check them
out that thing's pretty cool because like i'm down here playing games and stuff and sometimes i'm home
alone and if i get like a package i need to sign for i can just look at my phone and be like oh
yeah it's a ups guy i'll answer that it's not jeremy not wanting to borrow a handgun or something
so i'm digging it i like it a lot some of these ideas are amazing like the ring doorbell
or the tracker how does one go about selling a product that you could never invent what do you
mean well like you know i'm like all right hey i'm gonna uh whatever build a dog collar that
makes it so your dog never barks or gets lost great okay well i'm not nearly smart enough to
accomplish that so you're not i think you put you combine a shot caller with the tracker and you're done i know i think of something else that i am not
smart enough well i think coming up with that great idea is is the real hard part right i think
facilitating it you can always find somebody that can facilitate it i think you'll find somebody
who's like all into the mechanical not really a big picture person as much and they're probably not having the same ideas for shit they just kind of implement the ideas and concepts that other people provide for
them you know like there's probably idea people and you know work people you know not to say the
idea making isn't work or difficult just i don't know your brain yeah there's different kinds of
people out there some people like i could never be the one who sat down and was like,
I'm going to figure out how to make this fucking toothbrush a permanent vibrating battery or some nonsense.
Like, I don't know.
But some people can do that, and that's pretty crazy.
But they need somebody to sell it because they could have the best thing ever.
But if they're uncomfortable in a boardroom and they can't present things cogently, it's not going to do well.
Like when you watch Shark Tank and someone has a great idea idea but they're just inept and just kind of like,
well, I'm really hoping you help my company.
Like just – you know what I mean.
I have a simple idea.
I'm into this everyday carry stuff and I have a slim wallet.
No one does a slim wallet perfect.
And I have a small change on existing concepts that I think would make mine my idea a better idea than all the other slim what's the change and in
in short the problem that they have is that the dollars aren't well accounted
for it like here I'll show you my wallet it's in my back pocket and it's this
slim I think my wallet is as slim as most people's wallets
when they're empty.
This is my full,
but the dollars don't stay very well,
and I'm sorry.
The dollar, they slide around,
and on rare occasions,
I'll pull it out,
and these dollars will still be in my back pocket,
and I'm like,
oh, you know,
I could do a small thing better than anyone else is doing,
and then mine will be, in my opinion, objectively the best wallet in the world.
How does one go about, like, what are you, contacting China to have them make your wallet or something?
Yeah, what sweatshop do you dial up?
Exactly.
Like, hey, can you do this?
There must be some very skilled seven-year-old chinese children ready to make these wallets for me
you need their deft little fingers and their inability to communicate pain
i wonder like how do you transform an idea into a product that you can sell you go to a sourcing
expo you're i think are you far from you're coming in very quiet yeah yeah oh sorry sorry uh you go to a sourcing expo it's still quiet yeah that fixed it
so magic is like one of those for clothing have you ever heard of magic
magic clothing uh no so it's in uh las vegas they do it twice a year i believe so uh the hats and
everything that i had made um you just go there and – Those big hats?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I want one of those.
Oh, the one you wore in the video where you forgot your hat?
Yeah, I know.
I've bought so many hats over the years, and I finally had a company just make them for me, just the way I want.
They're going to be like the operator style, like rice hats.
So it will have like a Velcro pile thing on it, like a grenade
clasp and everything. But the only way I can kind of compare it to, or only thing I could compare it
to is like, if you were to go to CES and you have Best Buy and Apple kind of set up there and
they're like, Hey, you know, this is the new iPhone for this year.
It's going to be great. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Check it out. And then you go over into the
sourcing expo or sourcing side of it. And you have Foxconn who set up there and they're like, oh,
hey, you want an iPhone with your logo on it? We'll totally make it for you. And so all the new products for the
year. So magic is like all the clothing designers and stuff. So it's like, oh, we're making all
these clothes for these people. If you want it with your logo on it or whatever it is. And that's
hats, that's shirts, pants, shoes. So wallets, I'm sure all kinds of leather goods and things like
that. They'd totally be down to do i mean backpacks
you can just give them say hey here you go wingsuits are even a thing that we've even
considered is because wingsuits are fairly expensive and stuff but it's a life-saving
kind of thing so it's got to be yeah life-saving in a very specific circumstance you know if a
bear attacks you you're not gonna spring to safety in your wings.
You might.
You might jump off that cliff instead of going back. I've seen several movies where that happens.
Yeah, but if it was like a Revenant-style bear attack
where there wasn't an imminent cliff to just jump off of,
you probably would have got a little bit of air on that hill
but then still ended up under the bear on the bottom.
If I've learned anything from James Bond,
it's that there's always a nearby cliff.
Yes.
But, yeah, if you're serious about that, I mean, I'm sure you could get on like any of those websites.
The cool thing about it is when you go to the expos, a lot of times they break them up into countries and regions.
So if you're, oh, I want to make sure it's made in America, you'll have all those manufacturers in one area,
get all their cards and show them what it is that you want to do or whatever.
And generally you can then go over to the Mexico side or the Chinese side
and be like, oh, we'll make it for like a third or a 16th.
But it's in a slave labor camp.
Yeah.
Well, sometimes you just got to weigh your options.
Slave labor.
Don't even know those kids.
Maybe some of them are shitty anyway.
I'd like to be completely unscrupulous.
So what's cheapest?
Slave labor, prison labor, or child labor?
Oh, it's got to be slave labor.
There's nothing cheaper than a slave, right?
No, no, no.
Because you have to feed and clothe slaves slaves you could pay a child less than a living
wage under the assumption that someone else is picking up the rest of their bill true so children
are probably cheaper than slaves because they're not like because they're just paying them enough
to like eat a piece of bread every day or whatever slaves by definition earn a living wage given that
they're alive that That's true.
Yeah.
They have to.
They're not slaves for very long if you don't get a living wage.
You'll ruin your capital investment.
It's just in the form of food and shelter.
Richard, I wanted to ask you if you knew anything about that explosive that they used in that Brussels terror attack.
I think it's TATP.
Yeah, TATP.
It's the acetone peroxide stuff.
That's it.
That's it. How sensitive think it's TATP. It's the acetone peroxide stuff. That's it. That's it.
How sensitive is that stuff?
Super sensitive.
Super sensitive.
It's the HME of choice.
Like right now that's.
HME?
Homemade explosive.
Okay.
It's funny.
You talk to any of the EOD guys and stuff like that.
C4, DETCORD, all that fun stuff that you'll see in like maybe videos that I'll do, nobody's worried about that.
I mean, it's like RDX and the taggants in it and everything are just, it's so traceable. It's the stuff that people can make in their garages that people are freaking out about because it's like how do you can't you can't regulate that like acetone and peroxide.
It's like I mean, it's super sensitive stuff and super unstable.
But I mean, like like I'm not going to give the kids a chemistry class here and how to make stuff.
But you don't have to be Walter White.
No, you don't.
chemistry class here and how to make stuff but you don't have to be walter white no you don't and and and i think like just somebody like yourself who might not have the craziest um
chemistry background you have a very simple understanding from say tannerite or binary
right you're like oh aluminum powder and ammonium nitrate uh well it doesn't take a whole lot to figure out aluminum is pretty
fucking reactive i mean it's it's a key ingredient in a lot of stuff and i was playing with thermite
just the other day that's exactly it iron three oxide iron four oxide and aluminum powder it's
like if you start buying a bunch of uh aluminum powder like five micron off of Amazon, which is totally legit. I'm sure it's going to
raise some flags. I'm sure stuff like that's going to start raising flags. And you know, I mean,
if you're, if you're making thermite, that's one thing. I mean, nobody's really worried about that,
but the second you start doing like Walter White purchases of barrels of peroxide or hydrogen peroxide and,
and everything else.
That's when it's like,
yeah,
I got it.
Like start getting,
uh,
going up.
I was watching Adam Savage talk and I guess he's doing a show where he was
testing different homemade explosives and he found one that was so reactive
and so dangerous that they canceled the show and decided that's what we're
talking about that one. And, uh uh then i guess like homeland security wrote or something and asked
for ideas about which one would be like ideas for homemade bombs so he wrote them about that
you think that's what it was um well i don't know if that was it because TATP is definitely a well-known homemade explosive, especially within the global community.
I know when Mythbusters did the thing about breaking down a body like Walter White, they successfully did it.
But they wouldn't talk about the chemicals used to break it down.
But when it comes to explosives,
that's what I'm meeting with ATF with next week
and transferring my FEL and everything back here onto the East Coast from the West Coast
is that I'm going to be doing an explosive series
on different kinds of things that maybe have happened or it's just it's easier
for me i don't have to spend like tens of thousands tens of thousands of dollars on videos and i can
still focus on these other jobs that i'm doing and everything but still do some stuff that has like
like some type of payoff to the viewer and everything without giving a full-on tutorial
or whatever but yeah TATP
I mean that's the
hot shit right now I mean that's what everybody
is looking out for
for sure
I saw some images from that you can see
I guess one of their hands is gloved and
from what I they said that you know it meant
there was a wire running into the glove with like a dead
man switch so if he
first he starts shooting and you know if someone kills him he lets go of the
switch and that's when it goes off so there's really no way to combat that no but i think they
had they had 33 pounds and yeah and then it's super super volatile too which is crazy and like
a lot of people you know i mean i we we don't have to get in that like crazy philosophical conversation,
but it really like does get to that point where it's like you can regulate everything.
Like it's easy for people to point fingers at guns and say, hey, that's a problem.
Once you get to a point of homemade explosives, you got to start asking yourself,
what's really the root of the problem and how do we address this?
How do we keep from this knee-jerk reaction of regulating this or that?
We're just a dog chasing our tail right now.
We've got to really try to figure out what's going on here.
Yeah, there's so many things out there that you're not going to be able to take enough stuff.
You can't take all the stuff away that lets you make explosives. There's so many things out there that you're not going to be able to take enough stuff.
You can't take all the stuff away that lets you make explosives.
I mean it's everything from fertilizer to the stuff you bake cakes with or all these things are minor.
They mitigate like coating ammonium nitrate fertilizer with oil so that the prills won't take in the aluminum powder and everything.
But it's maybe not even that with explosives. There's always going to be something, right? So how do you address that problem? Because
first it may be guns, then it may be explosives. What about next time there's an Ebola outbreak,
they say, fuck it, let's go to the Congo. Let's get a few vials of that shit. And let's just
fucking put it in ourselves, go to every airport and just start coughing and try to do as
much damage that way as we can it's there's always going to be if if not explosives it might be
chemical or biological next it's like how do you really address the problem and like what's the
solution to it i i wish i knew but you build the wall it's it's it's plain and simple you build
the wall you know what it's worked for kyle and
age of mythology and it's going to work for the united states absolutely oh i don't want to go
back to age of mythology for too long but we we found this this helms deep scenario where they
completely replicate the battle of helms deep from uh from uh lord of the rings and uh you start and
they like they went so far as to like rename characters and give them special attributes so
all the main characters are there defending.
And then you have this mechanic setup that just sends an enormous amount of enemies your way toward the wall.
And just like in the movie, there's a weak spot in the wall
and there's some sort of torch-carrying unit that's always trying to blow the wall up so they get in.
We need seven people to play that shit.
But it looked like a lot of fun.
Maybe you'll give it a try
sometime.
Belly button fucking.
Is this the kind of game you would try?
Age of Mythology?
Just not now.
I feel like if you caught me in the winter or something,
I'd be more apt to it.
But I've been loving having a good sleep schedule.
I've been loving getting outside.
I've been loving...
We can play in the afternoon, early morning.
I'll get up at 7 a.m. and play.
I'll rise early and have a few cups of coffee.
Did you show him the video that you showed me, like the small map one?
That's really neat.
Yeah, I don't know if he watched it, though.
I didn't watch it, though, yeah.
And Kyle's, what, two weeks into this thing?
And he's still learning the game and getting better?
I'm good enough to beat the game on normal difficulty.
Like I whip the game on normal difficulty in 15 minutes flat.
It's just that Chiz is very good.
It's not that I'm poor at the game.
Chiz is very good too?
I'm sorry, Taylor is very good.
It's not that I suck at the game.
It's just that I'm playing with somebody who's really good
because I whip the game on normal difficulty
in literally 15 or 16 minutes every time.
You really have that Stewie quip.
Quip, yeah.
Yeah, he does.
Yeah, we've been through this.
We got out the dictionary.
I proved that it's one of the correct pronunciations of that.
It really is.
I didn't expect it.
I thought it was going to be some southern thing.
No.
He's correct, but it's technically correct.
The best kind of correct.
The only kind that fucking matters to me.
The only fucking...
Whether you like it or not.
I just want you to start doing it now on W words that don't have H's.
Just give me a sec, guys.
I'm going to go grab a glass of water.
Yeah, I've always done that.
I don't know.
I have to make an effort to enunciate.
I know I make an effort to enunciate certain words and to pronounce them correctly so that I don't sound like an idiot.
Were you rapped on the knuckles
like in Catholic school? Oh, the opposite
of that. The opposite of that. No, no.
It's the exact opposite of that.
I don't find the southern
accent to sound very intelligent.
Especially if it's really
deep. And I know that's a stereotype
that someone from the south shouldn't have.
And I certainly don't judge people
based on their accents.
When I hear them, I listen beyond that to what they're actually saying.
But I feel like a lot of people don't do that.
So I feel like if I had a Southern accent,
I wouldn't pronounce it.
If a word ended in I-N-G and I just said swimming,
I just don't think you sound as intelligent.
So I try not to do that. Yeah, things like exactly thank you like you have the most mild southern accent that it's
not it's not even really southern like everyone i see in southern missouri has a worse southern
accent than that like you yeah i did it well commode is redneck something you have to get
rid of but more white trash than redneck. My grandparents say commode,
but they grew up without running water.
It's old-timey, too, maybe.
I thought it was a British thing or something.
Ooh, sitting on the commode!
No, I think they have
a loo.
Yeah.
I guess it's the bathroom.
It's not really the toilet.
In any case,
there's only one thing that I want to talk about right now.
What's that one thing?
That's scorebig.com.
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Didn't you just buy some tickets, Taylor?
I did.
What a fool you must feel like now.
I was just thinking about that quite a bit like
literally i get we're playing the game two three i guess we're like almost three hours four hours
in but i bought blues tickets for the blues bruins game tomorrow night and i feel like a real idiot
asshole right now because i completely forgot that we had this new sponsor and i probably just spent
way because the tickets were like $80 a piece.
It probably would have been
way cheaper. 60% of $80.
That's money.
It's real money. It's $48.
Where are your seats?
Are you at center court or what?
Center court.
Center ice? What do you call it?
Center ice.
Yeah.
Should be a real good game though.
Bruins are in a rough spot, maybe not making the playoffs.
And Philly, Woody, you're convinced they're going to make the playoffs.
I'm not convinced yet.
I'm not sure.
That's iffy.
Detroit might beat them to it.
Detroit has to get more points in their next five games
than Philly does in their next six.
And Philly is the hotter team.
Well, who is Philly playing?
Let's see what their schedule is.
Philly has actually a lot of critical games.
Like some of the teams in front of them, they do play Detroit.
That's a huge game.
If they lose that, that could be it.
Then they can still win because they have other games
and a game in hand versus Detroit.
Yeah, Philly is clearly going to make the playoffs.
And unlike St. Louis, they will make it past the first round.
So take that.
You're not supposed to agree, you douche.
This is how sports arguments go.
Well, I mean, you're making good points.
All right, I have a question.
The Blues already clinched a spot.
Yeah, they can win the President's Cup.
They still won't make it out of the first round.
No.
Washington won the President's Cup already.
No, no, no, no.
They could hypothetically make the President's Cup,
and they still wouldn't make it out of the first round
because they're the St. Louis Blues.
Well, they have done that before,
where they win the President's Cup.
We won the President's cup in 2012.
I think when LA,
the eighth seed played us in the first round,
upset us in six games.
And then I was just sad.
I continue to make more good points.
Yes.
We're always good in the regular season.
We're always tearing it up.
Well,
that must make you feel good.
Really tear it up.
Well,
how about 2010 huh last time
philly was relevant uh 2010 is that the year the hurricanes won the cup no no 2010 was when philly
lost to chicago oh okay yeah yeah anyway kyle is kyle oh my god we've we've had 30 minutes of
agent mythology talking i never did that yeah but there's at least one other person who likes that.
You're talking about something nobody likes.
I don't even think either of you...
You don't see two of us talking about it right now.
I still find it unbelievable
that both of you find that game
to be interesting at all. It's so silly.
You watch baseball for crying out loud.
There's so much action.
It's not a sport like basketball
where one player...
Any sport where it's a team sport and
one team can go like 55 and four on the season like the golden state warriors it's like that's
a sport that's all about like one dude like you have that one guy like steph curry or whatever
and it's you could be good just with that one guy hockey you could have the best guy in the world on
your team but it's so much of a team sport, that's not going to win it for you.
I like that about it.
I have a question for Woody.
I think they made the minimum wage in maybe Seattle 15 bucks a few months back,
and we had a discussion about that.
I think what we came to and what we all kind of seemed to think was that
it's kind of a small case study as far as how it affects and a at the larger economy there now they've done in California
which is one of the biggest standalone economies in the world if you know you
made its own country
me what what effect is this going to have
in the state and outside the state do you think now I think it's gonna drive a
lot of automation
inside the state like that read an article told me yesterday and
it seems like it makes a lot of sense inside the state like that reddit article told me yesterday and it seems
like it makes a lot of sense but i think when when all of a sudden that the lowest paying jobs
pay 15 i think a higher skilled worker is going to be filling those jobs i think the people who
were once capable of earning minimum wage now they might not be up to the task. You know, I've said all along, everyone who works is competing with automation and overseas
labor, right?
You don't get to choose whether or not you do.
Nearly everyone has to compete with automation, overseas labor.
And when they increase the cost of you, then those other things become more attractive.
In China, it used to be if you needed a basement, they hired 100 people for a few pennies with shovels.
And then when people became more expensive, they bought an excavator.
They weren't stupid.
They weren't too stupid to own an excavator or operate one.
It was just more expensive than cheap people who were next to free.
Now that California has a $15 minimum wage, like you said, I think automation will be the first thing.
It's easy to swoop in and do that.
There are jobs you wouldn't think you could outsource,
like drive-through order taker.
That actually doesn't really have to be local at all.
I can do that job from India.
It'll be interesting to see if that happens.
And...
That would piss me the fuck off!
If I get to Burger King,
I'm like,
where the fuck are you?
Because if you're not in that fucking Burger King right now,
I'm going to lose my shit, motherfucker.
They lie.
Hello, welcome to Burger King.
What's your name?
Steve.
Where are you?
I'm right here.
They always lie.
They're trained. I'm Shapoigan.
I had it. I don't think they do it anymore.'m Sheboygan. Yeah.
Like I had it.
I don't think they do it anymore.
Maybe it didn't work out.
But at my local Wendy's, I think they like they just made it so that like they were all American, but they were time zone based.
So, you know, maybe if it was lunchtime here in the East Coast and it's 10 a.m.
over in Colorado, that guy took the order.
coast and it's 10 a.m. over in Colorado that guy took the order that way I didn't have to like staff for peak hours because we all had like even staff or
are we doing at Wendy's my friend might be fucking it up it might not be
Wendy's but I've seen that done yeah I've literally seen them take orders
from elsewhere in America because you know at 10 a.m. your order into a machine
and then that information is being relayed back to the store that you're at exactly yeah easy to do right what's the difference between me
keying it in locally versus me keying it anywhere i could key it in from my desk it's just you know
frosty big mac whatever i've never encountered this thing like conversation like to to think
about too because you you want to you want to go to the extreme and say oh well
okay ten years ago there were half as many billions of people now there's seven
and a half approaching or maybe surpass that by now seven a half billion people
so there's more people but there's more automated jobs so there's arguably to an
extent the job markets going down so at what
point does it become you know like oh we should figure out some some way to as much as i hate to
say it like maybe socialism in the future isn't a bad thing right where it's like way down the line
how do you yeah well no it's like it's a sliding scale right it's like
if everybody's working then everybody should like have that pursuit but if like you have this this
one guy here who owns all of the machines that are doing all the things everybody's a consumer
so what do they really have to make money off of besides making youtube videos i think if we can
agree like human wants are insatiable, right?
They'll never be satisfied.
So this idea that, like, oh, well, we'll get all the things
and everything will be cool.
No, it won't.
Houses will get bigger.
Cars will get cooler.
You know, phones will be more complicated.
Yeah, people see this world where they're like, oh, man, automation,
it's going to take all the accounting jobs
and it's going to take all the marketing jobs
and it's going to take all these jobs and everybody's going to be take all the marketing jobs, it's going to take all these jobs,
and everybody's going to be standing around without a job,
with their dick in their hand, and everybody's going to have everything they need
because we're just in a weird future where everybody can make everything
in a 3D printer or something.
That's never going to happen.
It's never going to happen.
Automated logistics and self-driving cars, automated trucking or whatever it is,
I mean, just logistics and driving alone would be huge.
It would be huge.
Fucking havoc.
All kinds of driving.
Forklift drivers, tractor trailer drivers.
Farmers are effectively drivers in a lot of ways.
They just handle back and forth around the fields.
Well, look at the tractors that have have gps and they just do their own
thing the combine and thus far it's rare for a farmer not to be in one but it's the near future
right it seems like a really safe spot to try this automated driving you know around in a field
but i've said this before so forgive me listeners pretend this is a really simple village economy
right we've barely got anything going on and
we've got you know 12 people with spears spearfishing every day trying to feed us yeah
right and then you're doing an age mythology thing or whatever um so you got 12 people with spears
you know catching fish and then some guy invents the net and suddenly 11 people are out of work
they don't just go out of work and be like, well, you know, you really don't need me for food anymore. No, those fishermen get placed elsewhere in the economy and they start
building huts or pizzas or whatever it is that comes after fish. That's going to happen. So
I can always count on insatiable human needs to fully employ everybody.
Yeah, there will, I mean, Well, that's the interesting thing.
Improvation is a huge percentage of jobs.
Like, if suddenly it was like,
oh, we don't need truck drivers anymore,
that'd be really impactful for them.
But I don't think that this future
where suddenly the majority of people don't need jobs,
like, that's not going to happen.
There will always be something new.
No, but I think in a global economy
and when you are able to scale at the rate at which you can scale
jobs or industries and everything it can be way more devastating to happen overnight
whereas it taking 10-15 years people have time to adapt where it was i forget who it was was
talking so forgive me for like just talking out of my ass, but I heard somebody talking today on an article or a news segment
where they were talking about, uh, how food stamps was a failed program where, uh, in one
of the States, a millionaire or something like the guy won the lottery who was on food stamps.
The guy won the lottery who was on food stamps.
He took the lump sum and that month didn't qualify for food stamps, but the very next month got food stamps because he didn't qualify
because he didn't have any more income coming in.
And so they were wanting to change things,
what I thought was really, really smart and kind of makes sense now
looking at it in hindsight.
It's like, no, you've got to be working.
If you can't work a job that's going to pay you the wages
to reach this financial whatever it is that you need to be doing,
we can help supplement that.
And if you can't find a job, you need to be volunteering.
You need to be contributing something to society,
logging those hours either way.
If it's at an animal shelter a women's shelter a homeless
shelter picking up garbage in the park for t-dot or whoever it is you need to be contributing to
society and not just hanging out at home collecting a check and like that's actually like potentially
a really good business model for the future right it's like like if if you are offering your services in a way that might not be driving a
truck or making a hamburger fucking go pick up the park something like that eliminating handouts
sounds really cruel right you know if i were to advocate this right now oh yeah we got to stop
you got to get rid of welfare we got rid of food stamps got to do all that the trouble is that
these programs can create dependencies in the cycle of dependencies
and they can be anti-business too. You know, if suddenly I decide that like, you know,
people in Tennessee have lousy dental care and I'm going to flood in there with all kinds of
free dental care, then I'm putting dentists out of business. I'm wiping out like the dental
economy that exists today. If I say in ghana doesn't have shoes and i
just flood it with shoes then all the cobblers in ghana are ruined you know you're not doing
anybody favors by just yeah that life on easy street long gone so both of them ruined so um
uh you know when you do that with these other industries it's just like if i just give somebody
money and never get them out of their chair, then I'm not doing that person a huge favor.
Yeah.
You're not teaching them to fish.
I know, right?
You're just giving them a fish.
I knew it was coming.
But there's something to that.
And I don't know exactly what the answer is, right?
Like a straight up handout might be a good short-term solution,
you know, three months or so.
I saw this Michael Moore thing on the health care.
Do you guys remember what that one was called?
Something sick?
Yes.
Sick and dead or something.
Is that it?
It might have just been sick.
I don't recall.
Sicko.
Sicko.
Thank you, Chiz.
And he was talking about, I think it was the U.S. versus like a French health care system.
And in the U.S., the guy got his cancer payments paid for.
And then the moment he was declared cancer free, he was like expected to go back to work.
And you saw him and he looked terrible.
You know, he was like his cheeks were like puff sallow puffy sallow gaunt like everything
was just sick and weak about him and mentally he was broken too you know he had just beat cancer
that's not an easy fight and then there was another guy i think he was french and it was
the same thing he had this like cancer survivor like fat alchewitz look about him you know just
nothing good i don't know how to describe him.
And he's like,
in France,
they gave you three weeks and he's taking pictures of himself on the beach. Like,
like it was like a celebration,
celebratory vacation.
And he's like,
it was great for me.
I got,
I had a thirst for life again.
He was ready to hit the workforce.
He was fixed.
And I'm like, man, they're kind of on to something.
What sounded to me like, freaking post-cancer vacation?
What kind of horseshit is that?
Get your ass to work.
But look, there was a sickness that needed to be cured,
like a health that needed to be regained in that scenario.
And it made a lot of
sense so sometimes the harshest policies that that maybe i knee jerk toward are not the right answer
but the most generous bernie sanders everyone makes tons of money you know i hear people talk
about a um not a minimum wage but a base salary, it's like a salary for doing nothing. Like, hey, if you're a citizen, you get 30 grand.
Pop.
Yeah.
There you go.
Yeah, like some countries do that.
Like some of the oil countries, they have –
Alaska has a subsidy where you like being an Alaskan resident
because of the oil and everything there.
You get tax credits or a couple thousand bucks.
I think it is now for being a resident.
Yeah, and I'm just like, man, you can't give away too much
because then people don't earn it.
No incentive.
Yeah.
Sorry.
If you protect people too much, they get weak.
I have a video to watch.
It's 50-something seconds.
Yeah, link it.
What is it?
A little preface?
Hey, is it the mountain?
Yeah.
All right.
Let's just jump right into it.
I'm queued up at zero.
Right.
Richard, if you're new to this,
we just all sort of queue it up at zero
and then I say ready, set, play.
Are you ready?
All right.
Yep.
Ready, set, play.
How can I be like you?
Just long as my nose. Thor, how can I be like you? The strongest man on earth.
No way.
People ask me. Thor,
how can I be like you?
The strongest man on earth. Well,
the answer is right in front of your eyes.
Sparkling water. This is
my brand, Heavy
Bubbles. We have 2 kilos, 5 kilos
And 10 kilos
What if I can't carry it?
If you can't carry, you can't drink
You die
You can really become stronger
Just by carrying it back home
From the supermarket
What if I bought other stuff?
Don't buy other stuff
Heavy bubbles.
Sparking water that makes you sweat.
Is that a thing?
I can't tell.
This is a gag gift, right?
No, it's real.
You're lying.
It's heavy bubbles.
No, I don't trust you at all.
Oh my god, it is real.
This is a real thing.
Yeah, you get some heavy bubbles.
Oh my god.
I already ordered mine.
I'm gonna get a workout and get hydrated at the same time.
Heavy bubbles uses nitrogen instead of carbon to carbonate their water which infuses it with more...
This can't be real, no way.
I love the animation. It's him, like, electrified.
He looks like a Greek god or something. There's like electricity and lightning bolts running through him.
Wait, when was this? Is this an April Fools thing?
No, this is way to get in shape.
March 31st? Come on!
This is heavy bubbles!
This is heavy bubbles. It's not even a diet. It's a lifestyle.
That's right.
I've got six of them.
I'm only on the 10K.
Yeah, that's, of course, not real.
Those are heavy bubbles.
So that's absurd.
He is so big, it's ridiculous.
He is so big, it's ridiculous.
He makes everything funnier.
The guy can clearly only speak enough English
to say the words that we just heard,
but somehow I still want to watch and listen to him say those things
because he's just fucking gigantic.
His name is Thor Bjornsson.
He would have fucked up a couple of villages
back in the day off of his longboat.
Imagine him, you know, axe-wielding, back in the day off of his longboat imagine him you know axe wielding
screaming in the night as he runs armor like a battle axe in each hand just if you existed back
then there would be stories about it like people would still know who thor bjornsson was because
there'd be like a life-size wooden carving of him like holding a mammoth head. Whenever they like track our genetic code back, they're like, oh, wow, it seems that
like 80% of the men in Europe came from these five men.
And I'm like, probably a man like that.
Probably a man like that and stuff like 80,000 bitches.
I feel like that big, like you could really run shit in a time and place where being big
meant that you would run shit.
I'm a cynic, but what does he look like without steroids or performance enhancing drugs?
He's just a 7 foot 5 inch tall regular guy.
Just your average 350 pound colossus.
Just another Joe you might see at the store.
Getting his 11 daily pounds of lean meat chicken
and his brown turkey breast
as he has his sixth omelet of the morning
because I have to get all my protein for the day.
Like, have you seen any of those, like,
YouTube documentary videos that they follow strong men?
There was one where they follow this guy,
and he's, like, 7'1", just so muscular that the body has given up.
And it's like, we can't make this look good anymore.
Just put it where we'd usually put fat and be done with it.
Like, he can't keep working out.
He can't keep getting bigger.
Just store it away.
He ate, I think it was like 14 eggs every morning, like 6 pounds of turkey bacon.
And then he went over to his family's house to make a big like potluck dinner.
And just like he made a giant vat of chili with like half a cow in there.
And half of it was for him, just for him.
There's a family.
His like whole extended family is there.
He like taking the ladle out and is like, and the beef for you, and the beef for you,
and the beef for you, and I take the pot.
And like he just starts, it's
disgusting, but also fascinating.
Like, that's an addiction.
I watched a thing about female body
builders, and you know, they also
have to eat an enormous amount of food,
but the difference is, there's not as much
money in female body building.
So, they,
I don't recall how much it was costing these ladies to eat,
but it was so much chicken breast and so much lean meat.
It was very expensive every day, like $50 a day, $60 a day, I think, something like that, maybe more.
So to supplement their income because there's not sponsorship money, there isn't as much prize money for winning the women's bodybuilding events and all that stuff.
And I'm sure there's barely that much in the men's.
I wouldn't think it's a life's living living i don't know maybe it is i guess maybe with the products and supplements
and that money there is but anyway they moonlit not as prostitutes but as like basically basically
these men would come to them and they would want to get roughed up a little and i and not in a
dominatrix type way she would like wrestle this guy and like
pin him and like put him in in holds and stuff because she was like a collegiate wrestler or
something so she would legit like whip his ass yeah yeah i think i'm just part of it yeah
yeah they would come in you know they there's a porn genre like total domination or something
like that it reminds me it's a sport and you know in
the porn genre the two women wrestle against each other and the winner fucks the loser
you know with the strap on but but um it reminded me of that porn genre i trust me i've never seen
it mom um but it reminded me of the porn genre. That's the worst part. Yeah, she literally does watch this whole show.
And I guess the woman would wrestle the guy and she would just beat him.
That's a weird fetish to be attracted to you losing an athletic competition.
I'm like, I should take this woman.
I know I can.
I think what it was, I think he had kind of like a fetish for like amazonian type women like he had
this he was he fetishized a big strong powerful woman and he was a small guy this woman what he
wasn't just like oh you're beating me up he wasn't pretending like she was his physical superior in
every way she was taller wider more more muscular by like she was picking him up like the genders were reversed.
I mean, like I picked my girlfriend up.
It was pretty funny.
I like that.
That just doesn't sound like fun, going in and getting wrestled and beaten.
Woody, remember that girl who was at paintball who was very muscular?
Yes.
Have you seen recent photos of her?
No, I would like to.
She kept going with the bodybuilding and she is a
i don't know if i saw on her magazine i'd be like okay like i feel like she fit right in she is a
when you said human body or female bodybuilder taylor immediately said gross right he just like
slipped in gross and it's like no man female body Female bodybuilders, not the top-level guys,
but the ones who are like one or two years into training
are the hottest women on earth.
You're talking about like fit bikini, though?
Yeah.
The female bodybuilders.
I'm not signing off on this at all?
No, no.
This woman was hot.
Fitness bikini is like completely different from bodybuilding.
You guys are talking about top-of-the-game female bodybuilders, right?
I'm talking about the ones who just got started,
who suddenly have started watching everything they eat.
They're lifting their tone.
Their shoulders start to broaden.
They're steepened.
I think some CrossFit chicks are broadening.
A little hair on their lip.
Oh, twats a bit itchy today.
Oh, Jesus, good Lord.
You say that the guys make more, but actually I feel like social media now,
a lot of those chicks are making a lot of money on the social medias.
You can see the fibers of their muscle.
That's what she just wrote.
Wrong.
You are talking about
women who've been doing this for five
years, who are at the top of their game.
No, I'm talking about the noobs.
You're talking about someone who
works out. I disagree, but
it's hardcore about it. Like a CrossFit
chick might be.
Well, that's not what I'm talking about. The chick that went to
paintball with us at paintball
was very fit and attractive.
The next year, she was too much.
The next year, she was even more too much.
Now she is stronger than any man I know.
And she looks like skin draped over a musculature.
You see striations.
You see indentions like her fat content must
be like guy that was also like abnormally strong right wasn't he like he was he was fit but but he
wasn't a bodybuilder per se he looked like you know he looked fit it looked like he'd run a
marathon and and you know bent bench 180 20 times like he looked like a strong fit guy but but she
now is some sort of like amazonian freak if i'm
being honest like it's a real fucking mess like she's got man face she is just a monster a hideous
monster and i get pictures of her shown to me occasionally and i'm just like oh god she's just
ruined herself because of don't you think that they call it bigorexia. Have you heard that term before?
Yeah. Where they look at themselves
and they don't see
strength. They don't see their muscles.
They just see like, I've got this
area to improve. I've got that. I'm not quite there
yet. And everyone else
is like, dude, there you passed
it three years ago.
Maybe take
a few steps back.
Take a vacation
at paintball she was still one of the fitter women i'd ever seen and uh but very attractive
and just tone doesn't begin to almost a little too strong yeah but like when she would roll her
shoulders and you're looking at her from behind you're she looked like linda hamilton from
fucking termininator 2.
She's ripped.
But now she's to the point where I know she'd kick my ass.
I absolutely know she would kick my... Maybe if I could hit her first, I'm sure...
You'd bring the baseball bat you have for the dog anyway?
If it went to the ground, I'm fucked.
If it went to the ground, I'm fucked.
Because she's so much stronger than me, I guarantee it.
She's just a muck.
It's almost like a shame when you see that where it's like you don't want to say it's a shame because it's condescending to
look at someone's interest and be like oh they don't even get that that's not that great like
so i bet there are a ton of them that are just super into it and good for them but from an
outsider perspective like when i look at someone for men and women there's a point of musculature
where it goes from like impressive to like that's a little upsetting and weird and that's not how you're
supposed to look for men you have to get ridiculously muscular for that to happen
and you're like ah the pinnacle like that's what i think when i see someone like schwarzenegger i'm
like well that's the pinnacle for women it's not that much like you don't have to get
like super schwarzenegger in his prime jacked for it to look a little off,
just because that's not a natural thing you see walking around.
If you see a guy like Arnold Schwarzenegger in a t-shirt in the store,
you might be like, wow, that guy's in fucking great shape.
But you're not going to be like, what?
Let me Snapchat this fucking weirdo.
It's just a different kind of standard.
I mean mean good for
them for being passionate about it i just i don't i don't get it yeah i i i don't you know i i think
it's great when someone's really into physical fitness it's it's definitely much better than
being on the other end of the opposite yeah yeah yeah and so like i'm hesitant to be like hey calm
it down with the push-ups like it's it's much. Yeah, but if you're pumping roids into your
system and your heart's
getting strained.
And your clitoris
is three and a half inches long now.
Yeah.
You don't need the strap-on to fuck your girlfriend anymore.
The clitoris grows.
I've heard the labia grows.
Yeah, the clitorisis grows It becomes a little penis
One of the UFC fighters
Like they're doing
Close up examinations of her labia
Like during weigh ins
To determine whether
Guessing whether or not she's in
Who convinced her that that's how you tell
They're like yeah yeah
No
I don't know it's yet
no no no no get up there with the chart
advanced third stage clitification i feel like you're fucking with me right now
is this you fucking with me oh is that great they don't use the labia they don't do that
yeah they do.
Yeah, they used to use a ruler to measure it,
but now they take string because some of them are curved,
and they lay the string on top any more than three inches,
and it's a certified penis.
Kyle, no, no, it's not official.
It's the eye test. You know, people will look at a dude and say that guy's on roids.
I can tell because, like, he's really ripped in every way except he's got puffy nipples, which is like a steroid thing.
They'll look at a guy and be like, yeah, you know, like he's bulked up like lots of people can do.
But it's weird that his hat size changed.
So you're saying if you see a girl's clit hanging out the bottom of her shorts it's a good chance. Basically
yeah there's a UFC fight. It's Holly Holmes is who I'm
talking about. They looked at her during weigh-ins
and they're like dude
either
she's got a gigantic labia
or that
gigantic labia is the result of
steroid use.
What's hilarious is I've heard
people talk about it before that.
Like
months ago.
It's just funny that it got brought up again.
Regarding her?
Yeah.
That must get back to her somehow.
She must know that people on the internet
are all discussing her labia.
So it affects her labia?
I'm not an expert on
steroids yeah i don't know the clitoris yeah i didn't know it just caused general swelling
maybe it doesn't i need some pictures of holly holmes like camel toe now apparently could
someone could you fish those out for me you got a file there woody you got a special like holly
part of your like porn meta reddit
that you've put together it's like it's like huge clits anonymous and yeah woody's got it like
segmented uh where's my march folder you know five o'clock shadow bitches or something i don't know
yeah let's watch this all right touch of testosterone all right right. So I wish I could.
Let me fix the screen grab and see.
Hang on before you hit play because I think I can make this a better picture.
That's not even that big.
It's not.
Well, hang on.
It'll zoom in and stuff.
I don't know. you just hit the first second
right look for back for for lack of a better term the lady's got a meaty pussy all right it's it's
just not that that's not that big hang in there let's watch this thing all right set play what's
up everybody this is hollyholm in the way in as you guys know she won i don't think this is the video i watched before spectacular way versus ronda rousey in a second round knockout uh which is pretty much the biggest upset in mma
uh history i mean ronda rousey was a title holder uh never been beaten she was hyping herself as
uh as a person who would retire undefeated a lot of people were deeming her being cocky.
I do agree to a certain extent.
Anyway, right now, there is a so-called controversy about Holly Holmes.
Some people are accusing her of a possibility of juicing,
or at least they're questioning that because of this precise picture in the way in.
I'll talk about it a little bit later.
I'll make it a little bit bigger so you guys will know what is up.
I'm not sure that I like that we went into this.
I don't want to judge this woman's vagina anymore.
I feel like I'm in this a little bit.
Oh, now we're getting classy?
As you guys know, I love the questions I get.
You mentioned belly button fucking like seven weeks in a row.
Yeah, but that's completely different.
Something about this seems more personal, doesn't it?
Yeah, because it's hard.
Yeah, I don't think there's anything wrong with this woman's vagina.
Go to 406.
I'm looking at it.
I'm literally paused at 406.
All right.
Some vaginas look like that.
Here, go to the CamelToast subreddit.
You know, some do.
I think she's on the bigger edge of normal.
Sure, sure.
That's not a simp.
That's not an any.
There's some stuff going on there.
Yeah, and I really like her.
Well, not that I know her, but she handles herself really well.
Well, I'm glad we covered that.
Me too.
Yeah, I think that she is not on steroids.
I think that's probably just normal.
There's a labia gone wild subreddit here.
Go on.
I'm looking at the labia gone wild uh uh tag here on imager there are
plenty of women here who could who could who are packing more heat than holly holmes is i guarantee
it that's awful yeah she probably just used heavy bubbles anyway what do you think she's on? Richard, you said it depends what you call steroids.
Yeah, I will not even come close to being a dude who's going to say that I understand even a fraction of that stuff.
But when it comes to that level of athleticism,
there's so much money involved that like, I know a lot of athletes
will like, like Kennedy's like really vocal about it and a lot of other guys. I mean, there's
certain things like, like what HGH has a 12 hour half-life. Um, I mean, you have a lot of different
things. Really? So, I mean, is there lot of different things really?
so I mean there's so many things
out there that it's like if you can get an edge
and
you can get through a camp
and do this or do that
I just you have to believe
that the bulk majority of
athletes out there are on it
it's just like if you're
in South America and you know that majority of athletes out there on it it's just like if you're if you're in in south south america
and you know that you have a little bit of a window to be able to get away or something like
that jose aldo yeah i mean it's like i mean it makes sense it's it's i think it's most sports
not all of them it's obviously most more common in like football baseball but pretty much every sport
out there i think there's a good percentage of them doing roids or at least something in that
family performance enhancing drugs apparently like last year and this year there's like a bit
of a cocaine problem in hockey with a lot of the players doing a good amount of cocaine apparently
mike richards has to be on it i am positive mike richards was doing
a good deal of cocaine um what was he gonna say uh oh bass nba players now granted this is a time
in their life when you know men can get stronger but the difference i see in their physiques from
like when they get out of college at 20 to 22 because a lot of them go early, to where they are at 26 and 28 is huge.
It's so big.
I'm like, wow.
Well, it's frustrating to me as like, I don't know,
just maybe a sheltered person growing up.
I never realized that that was such a thing.
Like in professional sports i mean you got the mark
mcguire sammy sosa thing i was so disappointed by that it's like these dudes are big blah blah blah
blah blah but like you don't realize when you go to the gym like your local gym and there's like
ripped up dudes there a lot of times more times than not they're on something it's like ripped up dudes there a lot of times, more times than not, they're on something.
It's like, well, fuck, I busted my ass for like four years just grinding it out, doing all these different workouts and eating right.
And it's like, I just can't reach that level.
And you're like, oh, fuck, that's why.
Yeah, you're not taking steroids.
But it's OK, isn't it?
Like it is. If you're not competing steroids but it's okay isn't it like it is if you're not competing
knock yourself out i mean you're not competing and like i'm i'm warming up to the fact that like
i've i've probably like in taking propitia pharmaceuticals and shit like that i probably
damaged what my endocrine system to some extent to maybe manufacture more or less testosterone.
And at some point I probably should think about like testosterone replacement therapy or something
along those lines. Um, it, where it's not that bad of a deal. You just gotta be honest about it.
Don't fucking deceive people and say, Hey, look, I'm getting fucking ripped up. You got to do work,
son. You got to go, you got to fucking eat chicken breast and broccoli all day long you know that's the only way you're
gonna get them gains no talking about the rock right now and his you know he promotes that
gigantic diet that he does and all that craziness but oh no no no no i just i just mean like that's
a good example i feel like i've been lied to like like about everything it's like oh fuck man now like i have
like you know buddies who are odd like honest about certain things and like kind of giving me
like insight oh shut the fuck up that person's on steroids what uh what what it's just like i feel
like i'm like i'm a 30 year old something dude who's just like
been told that there's no santa claus it's like fuck man i've been busting my ass who are you so
surprised with some steroids type i'm not i'm not gonna say what are you good friends with them
no i just i just mean like like okay let's just take movies let's take movies for an exam and no no way shape or form am i accusing anybody of or saying anyone's
on steroids but you take ryan reynolds and blade or you take brad pitt and fight club you take like
these iconic scenes with these dudes that are just fucking ripped and you have to ask yourself did they get this from busting
their ass for six months working out before the movie i don't know or like christian bale he
played in the machinist where he was that emaciated little guy and then like eight months later he
comes out as you know where's the joker and he's like six five and gigantic like it's what the
fuck is going on like he didn't just, you know, kale your way
into that body.
On the other end of the spectrum, I think Kurt Russell did it legit.
I don't know if you ever saw that movie Soldier, where he says
like 25 words the whole movie.
He worked out for like 14 months
leading up to that.
It was over a year it took him to get into
the shape that he felt like a super soldier
should be in. Adam West was also
totally natural.
I always like it
when they talk about Babe Ruth. They're like, yeah, he did it on
chili dogs and beer. He was hung over
half the time. Back in those days,
you could get by in sports
by being kind of okay.
Well, you didn't have any black guys hurling
the ball at you at 95 miles an
hour.
People were so bad in every sport that like people who just had jobs where they weren't
full-time they're like man i got off really early at the colfax i'm just gonna go you know pick up
a hockey stick and go play hey who knows maybe i'll make the maple leafs this year what the
fuck are you talking about everybody's skating around with no helmets on. You play baseball. You're using
a thin stick. Somebody
says, we should widen that. You go, you know what? That's a good
idea. That's how early you are in the
game. Sports are
just such a tip of the iceberg, though.
I feel like that
stigma attached to the
sports side of it, be it
Lance Armstrong
was cheating or this or that it like like actually
meeting people who have like done or been on like testosterone replacement therapy and just like how
they're like oh dude this totally fucking changed my life like i'm my my whole mental well-being
like i feel like me again. It's really weird.
I don't know how to explain it.
I don't know if with our
foods, Kyle, you probably know more about
shit that's put in chicken than anybody
here.
Our diets, maybe
exercise, work, all this other
stuff really affecting our
hormones and everything.
Literally arsenic.
If we find a way to balance things really affecting our hormones and everything. Literally arsenic. Literally arsenic.
So if we find a way to balance things out
or bring it back to whatever level it should be,
it's like I'm all for it.
Just be honest.
Joe Sonnen is a UFC guy, and he's like,
man, I'm on TRT, and I love it.
I take it all the time.
It makes me a better athlete.
Now that he's not competing, it's time. It makes me a better athlete. Now that he's not competing, it's legal.
It makes me a better athlete. It makes me a better husband.
It makes me a better dog owner.
Because I have more energy and I'm a
happier version of me.
Somehow the dog owner thing
burned into my head. It makes you a better
dog owner? Yeah, you walk
the dog more.
It builds a good relationship with
i don't know i i got the vibe he was just like i'm a better guy to be around
you know when i'm on this then i did it why don't you investigate this woody i want you to
i i if you go to your doctor and look into this i'll do the same like like maybe your doctor is
so much better he really is he might hold me up much better. He really is. He might hook me up. He's so much better. I heard something about, like, I think maybe alcohol lowers your testosterone temporarily.
So I figure, like, do, like, three shots, go in and ask for the test.
Work out a lot.
I have a secret.
I wanted to be low when I go in, though.
No, you work out a lot, and it actually drops your testosterone levels.
Okay.
Fair enough.
If I cannot get more, I'm going gonna be 25 next month and if i get
any more testosterone i'm gonna go crazy so am i i'm gonna beard coming off your nose
yeah i'm just a very hairy individual it's awful like i barely got anything going on
yeah you're just like a wolf man it's yeah i think i know i already asked you this before but
but would you consider some sort of like laser like if it were pain i think i know i already asked you this before but but would you consider some sort
of like laser like if it were painless especially like if i told you for five grand i'm gonna zap
you with some lasers and we're gonna like thin that out by like 95 would you be down no not
unless there was like a team of hair placement specialists like figuring out it's me oh it's you
my flamethrower not fucking as long as i get to
wear the ghostbuster suit no there's no way because no matter what would happen they would
like they'd go in and they'd take like too much here and not enough here oh just completely
eliminate one shoulder and the other one still got some action but they leave the five percent
all in one square like what if it was plastic surgery level removal? I think
the stripe here is kind of cool.
I definitely like the happy trail.
Well, I got that in spades.
You know,
you would love to see me in my bathing suit.
I would.
I can see Woody going to the hair transplant
place, and they're like, well, you really don't
need any help from us, sir. You've got one hell of
a hairline. They're like, actually, I'd like you to take it from here.
And my wife over there, she would like a happy trailer.
I would take her and give her the busiest happy trailer ever.
It's going to be great.
That's funny.
I had a prank idea the other day that I thought would be fun for a hidden camera video.
I have no way of facilitating this myself. It's just a funny concept
to me, but it was like having
a blind guy
with the glasses, the cane, and everything
go into a gun store and purchase
a handgun.
And going through the whole process.
Him being like,
I think I want a revolver.
Give me a.38.
And him just being like,
yeah.
And him at first
pointing it the wrong way.
Of course, when I pick up a handgun,
the first thing I want to do is like,
yeah, that does look nice. I like how that drives.
Yeah, I like that. But yeah, exactly,
right?
Oh, God.
I'm searching and assessing in the
fucking gun store.
It's all cleared here.
I wonder if that guy does that.
What if you ask like qualifying questions like,
and how many times do you have to pull it before it will fire?
Just once.
Just one time.
I just want him to be like, you know, like, like, you know,
putting his finger in the barrel and like, oh, that's a big hole.
Wow.
Yeah.
Where do the bullets go? Show me. And like getting the guy's hand and feeling his hands and be like, you know, his finger in the barrel and like oh that's a big hole wow yeah where do the bullets go show me and like getting the guy's hand and feeling his hands and be like you know
going through the whole purchase buying it and of course the whole time they're just gonna be like
what the fuck but i legally i think they have to sell it to him like what if you started off with
giant sunglasses it didn't make it completely clear that you were blind right like just like
i don't know it just over time oh i want to be obvious immediately is
that better you think i want it to be like over the top obvious like white cane and glasses tapping
his way in yeah dog maybe that would be funny too but at the end i want him to be like you know
could you load it for me well you still need protection immediately yeah you still have to
uh do the nix test and everything so if he
can't see he can't answer the questions get help with that though you can you
can get someone to help you fill it out because if you're because Chad was
telling me they've had people buy guns from that were illiterate and they just
walk them through it you don't need to be able to read and write to buy a gun
that's hilarious the guy lies about not being able to see he's like oh I'm
illiterate I can't read.
I know that they've sold guns to people who were literally illiterate.
So if you can do it to them and you can help them through answering the questions,
you can certainly do the same thing with a blind guy.
You just ask him and fill it out for him.
How do you sneak through life illiterate in this day and age?
A lot of guys do.
What if you're really good at sports
mayweather i know two guys who aren't sneaking their way to through very well but they're both
fucking illiterate because they were homeschooled um and and neither one it's those guys that helped
my dad you know once 15 once 22 and they're both functionally illiterate i taught them how to read
no or right or do basic mathematics um i taught them how to use... They can't read? No, or write. Or do basic mathematics. I taught
them how to use a tape measure the other day.
We went through fractions.
There was one point where
I was using quarters to
explain it, and one of them went,
so that's why they call it a quarter!
And I'm just like, yeah, that is why they
call it a quarter. Wow, that's so sad.
We had, like, fifth grade
math out there for about half an hour and I think
I got them on the right path to
be, you know, they can read a tape measure now.
So did they just not attend school?
Nobody ever sat down and drew some lines in the dirt?
No.
Well, do these kids have parents or are they
just wild feral children living in Georgia?
I think my mom has told me that this is
called environmental retardation
and that's when you're raising your upbringing,
your environment when you're raised up is such that it holds you back.
It literally retards your intelligence levels.
You're not learning fucking anything, and that's what these kids had.
They were homeschooled, but in reality, they're just not doing anything all day.
Like the kid's 15 years old, and he works on my dad's farm.
And I guess he's learning on my dad's farm like and i guess he's learning like whatever my dad teaches you which is like i don't know pvc pipe today electrical tomorrow
the next day we'll do some small engine repair but he's still not learning to fucking read and
write dad needs to get some fucking novels out there and get them kids gathered around so what
do they how do they they can read really slowly i and i do they, they can read really slowly, I assume, right?
Like they can read really slow in some things.
Because otherwise, how could you, you couldn't read what exit you were getting off at, like what road you were going to turn on.
You can't read road signs.
You can't know what is on the back of the box of Cheez-Its.
They can't read and write, but obviously you go through life enough, you know what Cheez-Its look like.
You know what the word Cheez-It looks like.
Words, in many cases,
have become pictograms for them.
Like, you know, they
know what the word means, but not why it
means it. They think in hieroglyphs.
That's weird. Yeah.
They're pictographs. Yeah. Emojis.
There you go. Next level.
That's really all that hieroglyphics was.
Just emojis that you had to carve into
stone. Yeah, I mean, they find ways to misspell words,
even through text, and that shit has autocorrect, right?
Like, it's doing its best to help you along.
Well, they think the phone is trying to sabotage them.
They don't know a damn thing.
Just voice to text, and then read messages.
I was at the tractor supply store the other day,
and you know how the credit cards
now have a chip in them? Like it's a little more secure?
The lady behind
the counter was pretty sure
that's the mark of the beast.
Ah.
It's a good thing to run by people behind counters.
It just
I don't know.
Yeah, she thought it was the mark of the beast.
Can someone break down the mark of the beast, what the things are?
It's a mark.
Basically, it's a mark that is going to be on your right hand or something,
and you're going to need it to participate in the economy,
buy things, sell things, transactions.
I don't know how much of that is actually you know kind of taken through in the bible and explained
and how much of it is just like made up like purgatory you know where it's just kind of one
day it happened and now it's just something they believe but i don't know it always it catches my
attention like there's religious people and i guess that's fine and then there's religious people who think they want to make it a real active thing yeah the end being near is one of the the key
things for me when they're like look like it yeah i'm covered this whole place is about to get
destroyed by god's meteorites and a fiery storm but i've accepted jesus and i'm actually kind of
looking forward to that day i know that shortly, I'll be pulled up into heaven, and everything will be great, and
you know, all this praying I've been doing is really going to make for a happy afterlife for me.
Are you hiding, Kyle? No, I'm reading. Oh, okay. I think I thought you were doing another one of
those. Oh, no, no, you're doing great over there. i can't behind all that awful stuff you're saying
and and this woman uh you know mark of the beast type like oh yeah the new credit cards they have
a chip in them now mark of the beast and it's just like i i don't know if you're qualified to work a
cash register if anyone should be able to recognize the mark of the beast it's the person who's
dealing with transactions all day, right?
Maybe I was wrong. It's Visa in front of you.
Everything's fine. They run your card
and it's just like...
It's like, oh, Jesus.
It's a beastly, hellish card.
Anyway.
What would it take to get a custom credit card with like demons and shit on it nothing at all
like like i i don't know which company exactly but a lot of them do like super customized cards
and you can upload your own images and shit yeah that'd be fun that's totally what it should say
mark of the beast it's just a mark of the beast and you should i wonder if there were a way to
like you know get them to like make the number 666 in there a few times or something oh wow that would be great yeah and then make and then make
sure you do it like real slowly in front of your parents while you buy them dinner oh that's my
parents and then once they consume the food once they consume the food you inform them that that
they've they've been damned because they've eaten the mark of the Beast food. It's kind of like that dramatic The Omen music where it's like,
He's a teacher.
It's all loud and monotonous and scary.
That'd be good.
On a totally different topic,
Colin's foot comes out of the boot in like seven days or something like that.
That's great.
So just for Richard's update,
Woody's son colin had a
little bit of a wood chopping accident uh hit his foot with a very sharp axe went through the boot
the boots uh severed three tendons they were all reattached successfully it's been in a boot for a
while can't really move his toes because it would be bad after the surgery but uh now everything
looks great and he's looking forward to doing some more wood chopping very soon once we get the
foot off he's really excited he wants to go boot shopping he's uh he hates to miss out on any splitting i've been
doing without him um we i've found that there are boots that are cut resistant that like they're
like kevlar or something and they just don't slice very easily shatters all your bones
well steel toe i would think would be built in there um you know so uh uh
yeah also put them in some like goalie hockey pads or like shin guards or something i think we're
you know i'm gonna have him hand me wood while i work a hydraulic splitter for this season
let's try this again a little older not You're not asking for my advice, but
the one thing that I would do
is make sure his axe is duller than
normal, because I feel like it went
through that boot like a
knife through butter, and it must have
been pretty sharp, or he must have swung it real
fucking hard, or I guess both.
I feel like a duller axe
might be a better idea.
Or is that worse?
Right? I'm not convinced.
It's better.
It would be better to have a duller axe.
A broken foot with some bad bruising
would be better than the tendon damage, I think.
And less expensive.
We're going to have to mythbust
this or something.
Well, we'll get a couple of kids,
a couple of axes, and we'll make it happen.
Chiz has passed this thing along to me.
I think it's on the overlay.
If you go to gumroad.com slash pka, this is something that Chiz has cooked up.
So I think what he's doing is he's compiled all the PKNs into one giant thing that we're going to sell.
It's 80 episodes of content.
I'm just reading your notes here.
Correct me if I say anything wrong, Chiz.
It says,
Running a 10% discount for the next two weeks.
Promo code SEASON1.
We're selling these because people have been asking for them.
Patrons and non-patrons want access to the back catalog of videos.
It's kind of an issue when someone signs up for one month of Patreon
and all of a sudden they're given all of
the previous content. That doesn't seem exactly fair.
So we found a way to make it fair.
So you can check it out. There's a lot of content on there.
The survival trip episodes are on there.
There's me playing with the flamethrower
and the potato guns. All that stuff
that I did on some of those earlier PKA's
that most of you never saw.
So if you like it, join the
Patreon page. You can get on there and do it that way.
But go to gumroad.com slash pka
and you can check this thing out.
I think it's pretty cool.
If you're interested in it,
this is definitely the way to get into PKN.
And if not, not.
This was a good idea.
I'm glad he did this.
Yeah, he spent dozens of hours uploading.
Think about 80 episodes of content.
It was 80 hours of stuff
he had to go in and make sure all the audio was right chis has been spending a lot of time to
make this happen which because fans were requesting it and fans fans are complaining about
about stuff and wanted to find a solution to all that and it meant chis had to work for like 30
fucking hours on this he hasn't played any video games with us all week every time i ask him he's
like doing stuff doing stuff doing stuff and this is what. Every time I ask him, he's like, doing stuff, doing stuff,
doing stuff. And this is what he's doing. He's a hard worker.
He's face banking for
Bernie Sanders. A busy beaver.
How much of that time is phone banking,
actually? How much of that time is he uploading?
Is he just hitting upload, and then it's, you know,
great, I can squeeze in 10, 20 quick calls
for Bernie, and then just give him
a ring. Tell the truth, has he done anything for Bernie?
$3,200? $3,200?
$3,200, $3,300 donated to his campaign.
Is that part true, Chiz?
Yes. Look at him. He's going to type it in.
I don't trust
any of you bastards. I don't know.
$7,500 now.
Okay, okay. You can't actually even donate
that much. Yeah, you can.
He donated it. He used his mother,
he used several relatives' names
to get that money to the Sanders campaign.
He's also been donating
to the Communism Super Pack, I think you called it,
right? The one that supports...
The final solution.
The Commies United, I think it's called.
Yeah.
I mean, I wouldn't have donated that much.
2,700 is the most you can donate
did you type that in wrong
no you can donate more than that you just have to use proxy names
under one name
you think Chiz is going to max out one name
for Bernie
the Titan Sanders
yeah right
well I think we're getting pretty close to the end here
are there any more topics we want to squeeze in here anything and we need to get covered i got a question for richard ryan
about your stuff i don't get your branding you've got rated rr and you've got full mag
and you may have something else in there too what what goes where what i'm confused. Yeah. All right. Well, I'll lay it out for you as easy as possible.
I had some aspirations in what I wanted to do with Full Mag a few years ago.
And that started actually when I was applying for my dangerous weapons permit
because I was wanting to do a more elaborate thing involving
a bunch of people in Los Angeles. And then I got a cease and desist from the Motion Picture
Association of America. And after talking to my attorneys and everything, they were like, look,
you can fight it. Rated R is a noun, represents you,
and theirs is a verb for rated R,
indicating that there was a rating thereof.
But they've got more money, a lot more money than you,
and they're repped by the largest IP firm in the world,
and it's just, you're going to go broke.
And I was like, well, like well all right well here's me
saying all right well i'm just gonna move forward and redo this thing funny enough i still can't say
um what i'm doing until like the new front's here in like month, but it's going to get way more confusing.
All right. It's going to get way more confusing.
Well, find him now before it gets confusing.
Yeah, no, so that's the thing.
I tried splitting up Richard Ryan and Full Mag,
but the reason why I liked Rated RR as a name
was because it always represented me.
And when people would get pissy about me doing wingsuiting or whatever it was I was doing that maybe wasn't firearms related.
Like as soon as those explosives, like, well, we want to see more guns or destroying iPhones.
It's like, dude, this channel is about me.
dude, this channel is about me. And like, if I want to vent creatively, however, I'm going to vent creatively. I work 20 other fucking jobs. I'm not necessarily doing this to make a living.
If I, this was my only job, then I probably would treat it more like a business, but it's just a
way for me to vent creatively and in a lot of ways and write off my life. Right? And so I've always had that kind of philosophy.
And now it's like, okay, I really see where some people just want the gun stuff.
Some people just want explosives or wingsuiting.
So I've tried splitting it up as much as possible and everything.
But across the board, it's pretty much just full Mag and Richard Ryan now.
How many people want just infrared videos of
dogs pooping are there any people who you saw that i saw it shut the fuck up that's awesome
i was like fuck it i'm gonna burn my audience i don't care because that that small group of people, like you, subscriber numbers are just,
that's just, that's arbitrary.
The numbers like,
like very small percentages of those,
some like SEO,
like inflates the views and everything else,
like from discovery related videos and everything.
There's a very small portion of people
who actually watch your videos
who are subscribers now.
And I'm like, well, screw it.
I'm going to make videos for them too.
So if they like this, then I said, fuck it.
I'm going to infrared my dog or thermal my dog's like taking a crap,
and then you see like the eat signature on the ground and everything.
Screw it.
I thought it was funny.
It's just frustrating.
You get in the whole social media world when it comes to
freebooting. I've never really embraced anything
outside of YouTube.
You know what? I'm going to talk shit for a minute.
I don't care.
YouTube even pisses me off about
certain things. When when, when it comes
to freebooting, you got all the guys on Instagram who, who repurpose your content. And then they,
they, they put all these tags, descriptions and stuff, and then they'll put, uh, via your name,
but not even hyperlink or credit you. it's like okay you just stole my content to
repurpose it and everything it's just it's ridiculous and then on top of that uh you got
and i i don't know i don't even know if this is going to come back to bite me in the ass but i'm
going to tell you the facts um viewers will tell you if somebody steals your content, right? So WatchMojo took a,
made a video about what happens when you get shot by a gun, right? So they stole two of my videos
that were watermarked, just the slow motion stuff that say full mag on it and everything.
They re-edited with videos from movies and
shit like that. They made a completely new creative narrative. They're not commenting
on my videos. They're not referencing my videos. There's nothing in the description that would
lead people to me. They don't say my name or anything. It's a completely different narrative, right?
I do a copyright claim on it and show YouTube, Google where all the information was and everything and what videos they came from, and they pull it down. Two days later, it's back. YouTube sends me
an email that says, show us where you're litigating this or prosecuting them, or the video goes back up.
They stole my footage and not even close to being a fair use argument.
And then YouTube's like, fuck it.
They've got more subscribers than you.
That sucks.
I was thinking though
Devin Supertramp, he also
makes videos that just lend
themselves to freebooting. I prefer
the term viewjacking.
I think that's better described.
Viewjacking. Anyway,
he sells his stuff. What is it
called when they sell the clips? Licensing.
I do that too.
I do that too.
Yeah, I charge.
So I have companies like on a regular basis,
like reach out for slow-mo footage of like ballistics and stuff like that.
And I tell them like,
this is what it costs to run a slow-mo camera per day.
This is what it costs per operator.
So if you were to do this shoot,
you'd pay X amount of money. And so that's why my rate
is X. And 90% of the time they don't pay it. Other 10% of the time I license my footage out.
And it's just, it's really frustrating. It's really frustrating.
Devin breaks down his three income sources. Of course course there's the youtube pre-rolls right that's a thing there's um you know uh brand integration right that's a
thing and then the third one is what we're talking about selling the footage there's a term it's like
it's not i have clip art in my head but it's something like that it's like um when they just
sell clips and how is it on the tip of your tongue too?
To me, it's licensing what you're talking about.
I've done that before.
Like people wanted to use, I don't know, news channels.
There's been a half a dozen times they wanted to use a clip of something.
Sometimes they just need a car exploding or whatever they need.
I've done it twice.
Real cheap though.
I did it once with the leaf blower video and once with the dog bark collar video.
Like I said, whenever it goes on TV, I get a million tweets about it like I just saw you on this
channel yeah I think usually it's free I think I think once I got paid a lot of money but most of
the time it's just like yeah yeah use it I don't yeah sure yeah yeah mine was in the hundreds like
it wasn't any big deal yeah for digital it's like it's way than, and that's the way I break it down too. You have digital, TV, and theatrical,
and then depending on the scale and everything,
there are different rates.
Just for internet, it's super cheap.
I think stock footage is the term I'm looking for.
Yeah, no, that's it, stock footage.
So yeah, you can sell the stock footage,
and a lot of the stuff that you make,
or Kyle makes for that matter,
are just really eligible for it right no one wants stock footage of me freaking working on my stable you know but uh but if you know i do man hammering oh do you don't know what it would
cost to reproduce this yeah but taylor you muted it seems.
Oh, sorry.
I was saying I want one with you in a hard hat and a clipboard kind of like sun behind you and you're pointing at something off screen
like kind of furrowing your brow like that's not right.
No, I know construction and that's not the way it should be.
And that would be a good.
But yeah, I didn't know that you were already sold stock footage,
but it seems like your channel just really lends itself to it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So Richard Ryan and Full Mag for now.
Yeah.
And then coming soon, you should name it like a Call of Duty player, right?
Like XXRichardRyanXXCasual.
Triple X.
Still.
86.
With a Z in there.
Check him out.
That was a good show. That was fun.
Thanks for coming on, man.
Thank you for fucking having me.
It's always awesome coming on here.
Check out our sponsors down below
or wherever the fuck they are. Click those links.
Check them out if you're interested in any of those fine products and or services.
Very good.
Thanks, guys.
See you later.