Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #278

Episode Date: April 22, 2016

This week on PKA, the guys run solo until Wings shows up in the last hour of the show, the guys talk about the idea of doing a hydraulic press YouTube channel, share some of Wing's stories and talk ...about politics.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Damn it! Now we're live. Are we live? Yeah, I had a browser in front of Kyle's face. But no, just for a second. Just for a second. Take it away, Kyle. You gotta scrap this shit. You got a browser over my face? Just for a moment.
Starting point is 00:00:16 Take it away, Kyle. According to my contract, I get the exact amount of FaceTime as everyone else. Let me check my text messages for you for your contract. We have five very special sponsors tonight. We have Loot Crate, MeUndie, Squarespace,
Starting point is 00:00:32 ScoreBig, and a brand new player, Helix Sleep. So we'll hear more about all those sponsors later in the show, but first things first, let's get to it. Our guest didn't show up tonight. Chiz refused. Chiz refused, yes. And he staunchly refused, saying,
Starting point is 00:00:47 I have to listen to more inane babble horse shit from the mouths of these two liars and watch it on TV. Oh, they're going to cover something new this time. Oh, there's going to be some earth-shattering revelations in this debate. No, it's the same horse shit again. Hillary and Bernie are going to debate tonight for the umpteenth time, if my accounting is correct. And Chiz says, I can't miss this one. The umpteenth episode is always the...
Starting point is 00:01:14 How much money have you sent to the Bernie Sanders campaign at this point, Chiz? Is it over $4,000? Can you type that in, Chiz? Right now, honestly... $4,387 now. Holy in, Chiz? Right now, honestly, $4,387 now. Holy smokes. Chiz. Chiz, you got to chill out, man.
Starting point is 00:01:31 You're getting out of control here. There are baseball games that matter more right now than this debate. And it is fucking April. You know, we didn't mention the PKN thing. Oh, two things. Not PKN. The Patreon thing. Oh, two things. Not PKN. The Patreon thing. Yeah, check out Patreon.
Starting point is 00:01:48 Link in the description. You can get early access and video access to PKA and PKN and all the cool stuff. There's a private hangout monthly. Click the link in the description. See what we offer and support the show. That would be awesome. I actually like doing those private hangouts because it's almost always the same group of guys, so I've kind of gotten
Starting point is 00:02:08 to know those guys. It's the hidden show. And I see the same... Yeah, we do kind of a private PKN type show every month with those guys that are at the... I think it's a $50 level or something, so they're really chipping in. But we're in there for at least an hour. It usually bleeds over
Starting point is 00:02:23 an hour and 20 minutes. And it's just me and Woody. And I don't know if Taylor's ever come to one of those. You're really missing out on the fun. But it's me and Woody and like sometimes as few as three of them, but sometimes five or six or seven guys. And we just have like a little powwow and talk about whatever they want to talk about usually. It's fun.
Starting point is 00:02:40 Yeah. Check that out. My favorite part about it is they're all very different individuals individuals but it all seems like they got their shit together that's why i say the money dollars of disposable income because every one of these guys that's what they have in common like it's that they've all got their shit together by like the one of the guys like a young guy he's like maybe a part-time student but part-time like working in it and killing it and he's asking woody about oh do i need to get this special certification? Do I really need that?
Starting point is 00:03:07 And Woody's like, well, it would add to your resume. And he's like, all right, then I guess I'll grind it the fuck out. And he's like, yeah, that's a hardworking guy. And then the other guy owns his own business. It's always fun talking to those guys. Very successful people. The guy's like 19 years old, and he builds online gambling sites for a living.
Starting point is 00:03:24 That's one of the reasons I like... So I've been on a couple of Disney cruises. And they're like two or three weeks long going from like Spain to Florida or something like that, California to Hawaii. And one of the neat things about it is the other people on it. Like somehow these people have made their lives in such a way that they can take three week cruises like across the Atlantic or something. And I like to pick their brains and see like, how'd you do that? A small version of that is like, you know, I, I, weekends, weekdays, it doesn't really matter to me. And I think we all, we're all in that, in that situation pretty much. So like, I mean, I'm, if I'm going to go to the Coca-Cola museum or, or some like fun,like thing that costs $100, $200 to take a date to, I might well do it on a Wednesday afternoon.
Starting point is 00:04:10 And you see the same thing in that situation. It's like, who else is here on a Wednesday afternoon spending $200 to, like, see the world of Coca-Cola? You know, it's not that many people. Yeah, it's cool. Anyway, I like the Hangout guys. So, anyway, check that out. And then we've got another thing we're selling. Is it Gumdrop?
Starting point is 00:04:29 Is that what it is? Gumrobe, right? Gumroad. Oh, thank you for fixing it. Anyway, link in the description. You can buy the first season of PKN, which is 80 episodes. Yeah, and that awful survival trip. Looking back, you don't like the survival trip i look
Starting point is 00:04:46 that's i don't even want to get into that whole debacle that there are several reasons i was upset about the survival trip but um it's just the whole thing i i didn't like i i i hated i hated being in the woods look i liked being with you two i like and patrick i really enjoyed that every bit of the time we spent together, there was never a time when I was like, God, I wish Woody would go take another fucking bath, or God, I wish Chiz would go off in the woods. I never felt like that. I was happy to be with everyone, and I
Starting point is 00:05:13 enjoyed our time together. But the setting sucked so much, I really despised it, and I enjoy my creature comforts. There's a reason I do this show from a fucking couch. I think that might be a little bit of rose tinted glasses because i remember you being more than a little agitated that chiz was not pulling his own weight especially yeah making a fire okay yeah yeah there were times when we were out there when i when i wish chiz had chipped in a
Starting point is 00:05:36 little bit more like gathering wood and stuff i felt like he half-assed it sometimes but it was his first time in any kind of an experience like that. I get that he's – that's probably the first time he's ever gathered firewood. It wasn't my first time. And, like, I've done a lot of manual labor, like the kind that you don't enjoy doing. And when you're doing a job like that that you don't enjoy doing but has to be done – There is no manual labor in which you don't enjoy. What's wrong with you? Like cleaning gutters with your bare hands.
Starting point is 00:06:04 Good shit. Dragging rotten wood through chigger-infested high grass that's cutting your ankles and stuff. I don't care for that. Chiggers are the worst. I wasn't with you until the chiggers. Now we're lined up. Those suck. You guys didn't get chiggers?
Starting point is 00:06:19 That's why I would only wear pants out in the woods. You get so many goddamn chiggers. If you told me there was a lot of rotten wood to be drugged somewhere, especially if there was a fire payoff at the end, I'd be totally like, yeah, this sounds like a great day. But the chiggers, that's where I'm on your team. What I'm getting at is I don't like the discomfort especially. I totally get when you're doing a job that you don't want to do
Starting point is 00:06:42 but needs to get done, you just put your head down, you fucking full force ahead. Like, it's going to be over and you're going to feel better once it's done. I totally get that. But if there's a way I can avoid just doing that fucking job, like I can slip Josh $20 and, like, make that happen, I'd totally prefer to do that. And you get entertainment value with that, too.
Starting point is 00:06:59 You can throw sanders up there. Yeah, I had Josh and his brother come over today. His brother's 15, Josh is 22. And I had a lot of yard work that needed doing. There were some bushes, some shrubbery that had died. I wanted that pulled up and tossed in a dumpster. There were some old doors where we had renovated and thrown the doors outside that needed hauling away. There was an old safe that we ripped out of the wall that needed disposing of.
Starting point is 00:07:22 There was a bunch of shit to do. And the gutters needed cleaning. So they were here like six hours today working, and it was very entertaining. I fucked – when I told you guys this earlier, I feel like you all felt like I was being kind of shitty with what I did to Josh and his brother. So what I did was I took a Pepsi can, and I taped an M80 to the top of it and lit it and tossed it up on the roof with them so it exploded on them. And I thought
Starting point is 00:07:47 that was fucking hilarious. Good natured pranks with explosives. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it's an M80. You know, it's a little firecracker. That's the thing that kids blow their hands off with. Yeah. Quarter stick of dynamite. Not even. What if you hit that poor kid
Starting point is 00:08:02 in the side of the head and you blow the other half of his brain clean out the only half I would have felt comfortable the only folks that I'll have
Starting point is 00:08:10 the good half I would have felt comfortable holding this thing in my hand and letting it go off you know it just wasn't a big deal not around the school
Starting point is 00:08:18 look I'm talking about you gotta imagine a Pepsi can you know a soda can do not put explosives in in compressed areas I'm talking about, you gotta imagine, a Pepsi can, you know, imagine. List is a painkiller already. Do not put explosives in compressed areas and blow them up in your hand. I also don't like the rationale of, I would let it go off in my hand.
Starting point is 00:08:36 It's like, well, that's not your decision now, is it? Eve that over there. Yeah, yeah. If we go to a second puck and I just level you and be like, I'm fine getting hit. Woody just hit me. See, that's how I make decisions. Oh, you're bleeding. Oh, I can't skate. That's how I make decisions for others all the time.
Starting point is 00:08:51 Sometimes you have to. Someone's got to take charge. Someone's got to just do the thing, and that's me. I'm the guy who will be like, you know what? I'd do that, and then I'll do it to them because it's fun and it's funny. You make that list sound so valiant. If they'd done it to me, I would have got a real chuckle out of it. It scared the fuck out of the younger one. and it's funny. You make Jack Lissnitz sound so valiant. If they'd done it to me, I would have got a real chuckle out of it.
Starting point is 00:09:08 It scared the fuck out of the younger one. It was pretty funny. And then I got one of my little micro drones and buzzed them real fast while they were up on the roof. And that scared them pretty good too. So I had a good day. I want a drone with a camera in it, but I think it's pretty expensive.
Starting point is 00:09:23 All right, so it's not it's it's real cheap uh it just depends what you want the yes it just depends what what what you want to to achieve with this now i've got these parrot drones over here which to be frank are more like toys than tools and i think it's like 900 bucks for the drone maybe seven or eight but i think it's 900 bucks for the drone and then like another grand for this you can have it you can have fucking two of them um because i hate the for real yeah yeah you enjoy get it don't you have a package you're supposed to have mailed to me that probably you didn't it's mailed out yesterday no way either yesterday for it so you get your saw your your your sleeping, and your flamethrower.
Starting point is 00:10:05 Your flamenwaffe. Now, I was going to try. It'll be there Friday. I got the confirmation number upstairs. Awesome. But I was like, what do I have to pay to get it there on Thursday, which would be today, so you could have it for the show potentially. Maybe you go to your fire pit or whatever.
Starting point is 00:10:24 She was like, hmm, well, $112 will get it there by 8 a.m. and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I could fly this thing coach. Right, right. So I went with the $20 shipping or something like that. It'll be there Friday. I can wait until tomorrow. Yeah, exactly. So I've been doing daily vlogs this week.
Starting point is 00:10:42 As people watch this, I think I uploaded four or five videos last week, one of those two. And I'm trying to balance it because what would be bad is if hypothetically I uploaded PKA at noon on Saturday and then at 2 p.m. I bump it with a vlog. Pinky already deserves a little time to gather its views. So I think what I might do is have Monday through Friday vlogs.
Starting point is 00:11:07 I've been thinking about that. And, uh, and that would give Pinkular Ready the entire weekend. And then heck, you know, like the vlogs make reference to PKA and the things I do. And in some ways they could even pimp it. I don't know. I'm still figuring things out, but I've got a new camera coming Monday. Ooh. Yeah. It's, uh, I think it's the right one. I have some nice cameras now, but none of them really do the job that I want them to. I've got one that's on a steady cam. That's really
Starting point is 00:11:36 difficult to like operate in the audio. If you don't have an external mic is like super terrible, extra bad. Um, I've got my phone, which is actually my favorite thing right now. Go on. I'm just thinking about video ideas over here. I love it when you think of video ideas. People, I've mentioned this before. Kyle is an endless stream of fantastic video ideas. Things that like, if I come up with a video idea.
Starting point is 00:12:05 Can you throw this film up on it, like, before I even, like, get the idea? All right. This one's a vlog idea. But, like, if I come up with a video idea, it's precious to me. I need to keep it and not tell anyone. Like, here's something that isn't done. No, it's a video idea for you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:19 All right. So here's what I'm thinking. So let me just go on a little rant here quickly. So I think Saturday when this will go up, I'm uploading my flamethrower video, which is very, very cool. So make sure you watch my flamethrower video. I like it a lot. We shoot a firework one that had like $500 worth of firework. Saturday, yeah. So the same day this goes up.
Starting point is 00:12:37 Yeah, same day this goes up. Go check that out. It's awesome. You can only watch one. Choose wisely. Yeah, and I put up a shotgun video last week, and it's pretty good too. I'm doing that acetylene barrel launching thing, and I want to talk more later about acetylene barrel launching because I'm pioneering this new fun boy, and it's some cool shit. But I was talking to Eric, IraqVeteran8888. That's his YouTube channel.
Starting point is 00:13:02 He just broke a million subscribers, and we were talking about a collaboration video between the two of two of us what we could do and i don't know if it'd go on my channel or his channel i'd rather do it on my channel because i feel like it directs some traffic his way but i'm i'm you know either way usually the person whose channel it's not on is the beneficiary yeah i suppose so yeah or we could do like the nature of this video might preclude having two videos one on each channel and having them be Interconnected because what we want to do is make a giant Rube Goldberg machine that involves shooting So he would have to go bing bing bing bing bing and maybe all bowling ball starts rolling down a ramp
Starting point is 00:13:39 And it's rolling really quickly and I have to run up and bing bing bing bing b bing, bing, and clear the way for this bowling ball, shooting things out of its way. And along the way, there would be fireballs and explosions and, like, flying aspects and just this overly complicated Rube Goldberg machine that would stretch the length of my valley, you know, 100, 200 yards long. And I was just imagining, like, Woody's Gamertag, like, hustling up a fast rope and, like, getting the top getting the top and hanging from his legs and hanging upside down and shooting a thing.
Starting point is 00:14:07 I don't know. I just thought that would be funny to have in a video like that because I know you can do that really well. The upside hanging from my leg shooting part has me a little concerned. I could die. So much easier than you think. I'll practice me on the ground. I'll get you a little harness.
Starting point is 00:14:23 I even have a harness. I've'll get you a little harness. Yeah, with that. I even have a harness. I've got a harness in the stable. I could totally go up there, clip in, and then do what you're talking about. I'm down for that. Yeah, of course we would have to manufacture our own fast rope assembly.
Starting point is 00:14:40 I'm thinking some scaffolding and stuff. But anyway, Eric and I were discussing this thing. Tree climbing gear and a limb, right? I could arbor it with the little hook around my waist and the – I'm sure I used the wrong word. But you know how tree people – they have like tree spikes on their boots and the – The ants? Yeah, the tree people. The ants.
Starting point is 00:15:00 They have tree spikes on their boots and then like a line around their waist and they just kind of hook it up and climb and then i latch into a tree limb with the with a little you know safety hook and then i'm free to use my bad marksmanship i don't know what it would be the hardest part of this is going to be making that damn machine that actually is interesting enough to look at where it's not just you shooting a piece of steel so a bowling ball can roll over. It's got to be over the top like what's the name of that catch-em monkey or whatever the fuck that board game was where you drop the... Mousetrap.
Starting point is 00:15:34 Mousetrap. Mousetrap. Catch-em monkey. It was good enough. So I'm imagining aspects of it that utilize flamethrowers that are triggered to fire. Aspects of it that involve balloons filled with oxyacetylene, which I have mastered now. I figured out how to do it safely. And I feel like
Starting point is 00:15:49 utilize things like thermite. Like, maybe there's a thing where thermite gets ignited and it melts through something. A flamethrower could shoot a rope that drops a thing. Yes, all these things could happen. Like a giant pillar of wax that has the bowling ball on top of it, and the flamethrower shoots the wax, and it just is melting wax that has the bowling ball on top of it, and the flamethrower shoots the wax,
Starting point is 00:16:05 and it just is melting so fast, and the bowling ball just falls down and then starts rolling. You know? Great. We're going to do something like that. I think Eric has a parrot gun, which is basically a cannon. So, you know, we'll get that involved. So it'll be something like that.
Starting point is 00:16:19 It's going to be a really long one. We want it to be, like, rolling for a while with shit exploding and catching on fire and being shot. That's one of the cool things about profitable videos like so like when you first start on youtube and your videos get like 38 views you can only invest so much in a video that returns a penny right but when you get to like the fps russia level it makes sense to invest like a lot of time and potentially money in this video because there can be a return on it and a lot of times we can get a sponsor involved so so like i don't know if there's steel that needs being shot then we'll see which steel company wants to provide that
Starting point is 00:17:02 steel or pay us to use that steel and that sort of thing. Find ways to work products in there that aren't going to get in the way of a cool video. We're going to just amplify it. Why not use this particular brand of whatever it is if you're going to use it anyway? Absolutely. So the acetylene thing, I watched this video. Can we watch the video of those guys touching off those acetylene barrels? Link it?
Starting point is 00:17:26 I think we might have watched that. Or maybe you sent that to me privately. Yeah, I think I sent it to you privately. Let me find this. It doesn't look like a great idea. It looks like a terrible idea. Yeah, it does. Especially the way they do it.
Starting point is 00:17:41 Like if I'm going to light an explosive, I'm going to find some sort of longer fuse. Just any kind of implement to even light it from really far away. I'm using a shotgun with either Dragon's Breath or Incendiary rounds. Yeah, but that keeps you a good ways away. Exactly. Give me one moment, please, to fix the cameras. I know, Kyle, just to fix this, I'm going to fix your camera first so you have more screen time than Taylor. Yeah, make up.
Starting point is 00:18:12 I did earlier. All right. So, yeah, when I first got to making these things, I just put straight acetylene in there and lit it. And I didn't get a boom at all. I got like a whoosh and the barrel hopped maybe a foot. And I instantly knew what the problem was. I was like, well, unfortunately, I need oxyacetylene, which means you add oxygen to the mixture.
Starting point is 00:18:34 I know the ratio that you use in a torch is like 5 to 1 or something like that. So we aimed for something around that and got extremely explosive results. So much so that the barrels, instead of launching, the bottoms of them just turn into bowls and shoot about 300 feet up in the air. So I'm going to switch to plastic barrels next time, which will launch like these.
Starting point is 00:18:58 This is so puzzling. There's such a big group of people there. Is this a club? Is this spontaneous? I'm ready. Are you guys ready. Who brought the barrels? Who has all the gas? Who's in charge here? Ready, set, play. They're running like they're being timed.
Starting point is 00:19:19 Take this. This is terrible. They're taking- You're taking flaming towels, and just setting it on top of these metal barrels, and looking upward, anticipating later that it shoots up. And these things are going like, 200 feet in the air or something. Oh, my gosh. This is so stupid. They're not even waiting for the previous one to come down.
Starting point is 00:19:40 Oh, my god! They're coming down! Look at that one! Where- Like, I forgot they come back down! They're coming down. They're coming down. Look at that one. Where? Like, I forgot they come back down. They're coming down. Do you people have jobs? What are you doing?
Starting point is 00:19:53 Aren't you? There's like mariachi music happening. Okay, so that is fucking badass. And that's what I want to accomplish. When I tried the other day, the bottoms of the barrels, like I said, they just exploded and separated from the cylindrical part of the barrel. And so I'm going to switch to plastic barrels, which are one formed piece. And they're going to launch like that.
Starting point is 00:20:20 Those are outrageously high. They're going so high. Yeah, that's out of control at least wait for them to come back down before some of those were launching up and they had like a five second wait time and in that five seconds three more of those idiots were launching off more barrels and suddenly there's a handful of these steel barrels just kind of a miss in the air that's what i'm there was no consistency there there was no you know arbiter of gas distribution or something for all of these
Starting point is 00:20:50 barrels it was just it was colossal just did they put a hole in the top and then the gas is lighter than air um yeah i can explain how they actually filled those because so i rigged up a whole thing that makes this safe but what they clearly did is they had their oxy acetylene cutting torch in like the back of a truck and they got the mixture right on the torch and then they just go to each barrel gas it up and put the cap on the top and but the problem is some of these guys are the the air's leaking out and they're the the gases are leaking out there that's why they're hustling around because they don't want the acetylene to leak and they're getting those tops off real quick and then touching them off you mean you don't think there's a bunch of stop gaps and safety measures you know no um what i did was i i've got a bottle of oxygen and a
Starting point is 00:21:33 bottle of acetylene and i've got 50 foot hoses running from each of them and i put a bunch of t joints and l's uh in the line so that it's dispersing oxygen and acetylene uh equally uh right next to each other. And I just put the barrels on top. So I can do everything remotely, and I'm 50 feet away. Actually, there's literally a wall separating the tanks from the explosions. And so there's a guy behind a wall who can gas everything up, and then I'm over there safely shooting them with whatever I'm igniting everything off with.
Starting point is 00:22:01 But I'm going to make a video of just those, I think, because it's because it's gonna be fucking amazing and i'm gonna get a lot of those barrels like i'm gonna try to get 10 or 15 and uh and i want the same time yeah yeah like rapidly that's what i want yeah you just need a spotter you know yes you need a spotter yes there needs to be like you know move two steps left it's gonna be like uh you're gonna be like gotmog in the Battle of Minas Tirith when they shoot that, the trebuchet. It goes, and he shoots the rock, and then he sees it, and then he looks at all the other orcs, and he sees it flying towards him, and he goes, don't move.
Starting point is 00:22:40 And then he waits, and all the orcs are going, wait, this guy's fucking crazy. Like, look at this guy. He's going to stand here and die. And then he goes, and he steps to the side, and he sp and all the orcs are going, wait, this guy's fucking crazy. Like, look at this guy. He's going to stand here and die. And then he goes, and he steps to the side and he spits on the rock. Double birds up at Minas Tirith. Not real. He didn't do that.
Starting point is 00:22:52 That would break character. But he did dodge the rock. That's great. It's an excellent scene. Yeah, I like that character with the whole fucked up eye. Yeah, he's so fucked. How did that guy climb through the ranks? You know he had to be good
Starting point is 00:23:03 because he couldn't even see through his life. That leaky eye. He must have been a real backstabber. I know in Shadow of Mordor there are a few characters who are like that. They get up the ladder because they're conniving and sneaky. He must have been one of those. He just had one of those weepy eyes. Like all the other orcs were farting into his pillow, picking on him.
Starting point is 00:23:18 Like perpetual orc pink eye. He's the only one who doesn't like when meat's back on the menu. Pink eye for him. That's terrible. So we've got it into RTS, I guess. RTS? We started playing a lot of ancient mythology. The video idea you talked about, was it for me,
Starting point is 00:23:42 or were you talking about the Rube Goldberg thing you were doing? So I'm already doing a collab. What I'm saying is I'm already planning this collaboration with him. And I was just imagining a part with you in it. Oh, I see. To include you in some way. And I was just remembering how you climbed that fucking rope at T1G. And I'm just imagining you hustling up a rope while a fuse burns and you have to outrun it.
Starting point is 00:24:03 And like, I don't know. You flip upside down and shoot a thing. For an old guy that gets fatter every year, I'm curiously good at climbing ropes. If there were a rope there and mine was a quarter as high as Woody's, he would still beat me to the top.
Starting point is 00:24:20 If I had to climb 15 feet up a rope and he had to climb 50, I'm confident he would beat me up that rope. He hustles up this thing, and he's got a technique that I don't even have. I've never climbed a fucking rope before. I just haven't. We didn't have any rope at my school. Well.
Starting point is 00:24:37 Well. Not that kind. Yeah. That kind. We'll use you for something else. I don't know what we're talking about. Is this a drug thing? A porn thing?
Starting point is 00:24:49 I don't know. Like a burnt rope. Are you smoking rope, Kyle? A burnt rope I thought was supposed to smell like marijuana. Or is it a bondage thing? Is this an S&M joke that we're making? What is this we didn't use our rope for climbing? I'm just going to buy this.
Starting point is 00:25:04 Did you pull stuck vehicles out with it? I'm just going to buy this. Did you pull stuck vehicles out with it? Yeah, that's what I did. I have no idea what he's talking about. So anyway. Does everyone else know? Is this a thing? Like autistic Woody is the only person not in on this joke? Like, oh, we used our rope for something else.
Starting point is 00:25:23 You all know what I mean. So we've been playing a ton of Age of Mythology. Taylor and I have anyway. And I feel like I've gotten pretty good at it. I haven't gotten great at it. I don't think I'm like, I'm not as good as I am at Civ, certainly, having beaten Filthy, the greatest player in the world, handily.
Starting point is 00:25:40 I saw that. I have I think you need to stop using Ornos so much because at this point you're just me and you versus a couple of Titan AI or something, yeah, bust out Ornos but you've got it down to
Starting point is 00:25:55 you're hitting the mark every time, you're doing really well with him, but you just keep using him I'm sharpening myself every game I feel like I've got my hot... I'm sharpening myself every game, I feel like. I've got the hotkeys memorized and everything. I'm clickety-clack, clickety-clack, and everything's down. So we've been playing a ton of Age of Mythology,
Starting point is 00:26:12 and I'm really starting to like real-time strategy games. So Chiz suggested StarCraft II, because it's free to download it and to play, I think, the co-op campaign and a few other little things. So you can get a taste for the game, for sure. Play against AI. And I've played a little bit of that, and I'm starting to like it and to play the co-op campaign and a few other little things. So you can get a taste for the game for sure, play against AI. And I've played a little bit of that, and I'm starting to like it. And I'm thinking we need to get good at this thing,
Starting point is 00:26:33 get the Wings of Redemption challenge down, play Wings of Redemption and some StarCraft. I think that would be a lot of fun. Maybe it would have to be like a me and you versus him if he's still got those chops where we have to take him on. Yeah. Maybe he can slide for a while. I think he might beat us. I wonder what kind of player he is.
Starting point is 00:26:47 I wonder if he's Protoss or Terran or if he's Zerg. In the few games I've played, I've played as Zerg, and I think I've settled that that's what I want to learn to play. Those are the videos I'm watching. They're all focused on being a better Zerg player. Have you tried the other ones yet? No, I don't want to. From what I've learned so far,
Starting point is 00:27:03 with the grid hotkey formation, if I memorize what it does for Zerg, I'll have it memorized for all the races. So I'm just going to stick with Zerg because I feel like the learning curve will have a better band to it that way. I'm going to learn one race. I like what Zerg's about anyway. It's about aggression and hyper... inflating your population really, really quickly. Lots of hatcheries, lots of Zerglings, lots of units
Starting point is 00:27:29 everywhere. Just completely overwhelming the enemy with how much shit you're throwing at them. I like the idea of playing that way. And I feel like it gives me a big sponge for the fact that I'm so new to the game and most of the time don't know why I'm building this building or that building. I'm just building it.
Starting point is 00:27:44 I was always under the impression that Zerg so new to the game and most of the time don't know why I'm building this building or that building. I'm just building it. I was always under the impression that Zerg was the hardest to play. Or I don't really know anything about StarCraft 2. I played StarCraft 1 at like a friend's house a few times, like a handful of times, and learned to play it enough, but I don't know. I played Protoss when I did. I liked that they don't have
Starting point is 00:28:00 to wait around while they build buildings. They can just you can send one worker and he can build fucking everything while everybody else is collecting and then just i don't know i like that i like starcraft or i think i'm gonna like it because it's an rts game i just don't like the space future theme as much as like hand to hand that's true i agree i don't like the sci-fi as much as the fantasy you know what i would really like to play i really like don't like the sci-fi as much as the fantasy. You know what I would really like to play? I really like the fantasy, like the minotaurs and the gods and goddesses and such that are in Age of Mythology. I do like that. But I would totally be down to play a game like Company of Heroes that's World War II RTS.
Starting point is 00:28:36 I think that would be fun, you know, building tanks and paratroopers and shit like that. Someone tweeted me that. That was great. Yeah. I think we talked to them one time about doing a sponsored video or something, so I know a lot about that game. Like, not really the playability, but, you know, what's in the game. And, you know, it's World War II shit.
Starting point is 00:28:53 It's all the nuts and bolts. That'd be really cool. You should look into that. I'm glad you're liking these RTS games. I knew you would because you like Civ. And it's just a more intense micro-ing Civ. It's so intense. When we play these games, it's just, you know... How is your micro, actually? Because I feel like, having never played with you,
Starting point is 00:29:13 but knowing who you are, I suspect your strategy is really good. Like, you get invested into something in a way that causes you to become an expert. Thank you, honey. But how's your micro? Because that takes, that causes you to become an expert. Thank you, honey. But how's your micro? Because that takes perhaps time to develop the skill.
Starting point is 00:29:33 It's more about the hotkeys for me with the micro because I know what units do what. So if I see that he's got a lot of archers up there, I know that I need to pull my infantry back. If I see that he's got a unit that really counters my – if I've got a bunch of myth units up front and I see he's got a lot of heroes, I've got all my myth units hotkeyeded to 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 or 5. So I'm going to quickly 5 and then pull that unit back and then 3 and grab my hoplites and send them forward or whatever it may be. So fast enough to kick the AI's ass. Yeah, because I watched you learn civ and it it's wired into you you thirst for knowledge on how to be smarter at the game and i was like i wonder if it's like if it's whatever like you can if it was if it was cod it'd be you know how's
Starting point is 00:30:20 your aim is it keeping up with your muscle memory. I'll tell you what, when every game starts, I've got three fingers. The three hotkeys that I'm already on is H, G, and V. H is going to take me to my town center. V is going to spawn villagers. I'm going to like spam that. So I'm going to go H, V, V, V, V, V,
Starting point is 00:30:39 and then as soon as the first, I'm going to grab my first villager and slam G and click because he's going to plant the granary right there or the economic guild in the case of a Rannos. So I'm doing that literally as fast as it can possibly be done. The first five, the first three
Starting point is 00:30:56 minutes and 30 seconds of the game are perfectly programmed out in my mind and there's no mistakes. I'll waver five or ten seconds up and down yeah once you've got it down the only thing that'll keep you from fulfilling it is if you get like fucked and no animals spawn near you or if the gold is so far away it's not reasonable or like once you get it like the build order down it's not too hard and the that's a hard build order to counter too
Starting point is 00:31:20 because it's up so fast and you've've got units going. It's really easy to take down with Egyptians if you do Priests and Siege units, because Priests will tear through all of your Terma. It seems like you've got an army of Priests. I know it's not
Starting point is 00:31:40 lots of small things being controlled, but League seems like a one-unit RTS almost, right? Where you're managing your coming and your going. I don't know anything about League. I wouldn't know if I saw it. Yeah, I have no idea what it is. I don't know jack about League other than basically you've got your main character.
Starting point is 00:32:03 I think he's called a hero. And if I'm right, to move him around, you click where you want him to go to as opposed to, like, Wazdi. And, God, people are going to hear this and think, you know, Woody has it all wrong. And I might. But I think a big part of the game is, one, guarding your three lanes. You know, so some guy plays top middle and center and then managing range correctly so like i hit you then dart out of your range and uh it it feels like at a very high level like sort of a one character rts but of course i think it's
Starting point is 00:32:39 four v four teams and then you go i mean like that kind of theme exists in rtss where you like uh the herseer rush where you send in all those heroes for the norse or you make those annoying fucking centaurs with zeus and then just run those in and and shoot their workers a little bit and then just be a bitch and run away and then like just as they're like chopping wood there's a ton of tactics and there used to be a really vibrant pro scene for this game which mean and there were tournaments like 2500 tournaments i see i've watched videos of these big games like this and so there's tons of material out there of the best of the best players guys who like wasted a quarter of their lives up until that point perfecting this game and so i have that
Starting point is 00:33:18 wealth of knowledge to tap into so um i'm liking it a lot and i'm enjoying getting better at it and better at it when we play uh taylor and i can play against four i think four ai for sure we've beaten i think we i know we've beaten four human players at once 2v4 and we probably have beaten 2v5 but there were some noobs mixed in there we played uh we've only lost what we normally do is what we get in there and then me and kyle will be like oh you want to do 2v and then x amount of people join who aren't us and it'll just be 2v5 or 2v4 and inevitably like three games in we did get beat once yes v5 i think or 2v4 it was four or five but they there was a v5 or 2v4. We couldn't overwhelm them. But usually it's like we build up, we take a few attacks,
Starting point is 00:34:07 and then we just completely, it's just a mighty bitch slap at the end where it's just kind of like, you want to end this? Because meanwhile, my strategy differs from Kyle's in that when Kyle goes in and just destroys your base,
Starting point is 00:34:21 desolates it, he's like, on to the next one, and he just sends his guys and they march to the next base. When I invade your base, Iolates it. He's like, on to the next one! And he just sends his guys and they march to the next base. When I invade your base, I destroy everything there, and then I build myself another base while I'm there. And then I leave.
Starting point is 00:34:33 It's like, while he's slaughtering the men, he's raping the women. He's not even waiting. He's raping the women right then and there. The town center is the key. It's your hub. It makes the villagers, which make everything else.
Starting point is 00:34:51 It's the key. And so he'll destroy that building first, and then he's got workers building his own town center on that plot while he's murdering the villagers, burning their houses, the granaries, the animals, salting the fields. You have to see the clip to understand the silliness of it, because it's just a huge, garish, awful, colorful battle around the edges, and then just one guy in the middle just kind of like,
Starting point is 00:35:15 God, another Tuesday, just trying to hammer this town center up. And that's how you do it. That's how you have to do that to win, and Kyle learned this one of the first few times he played me, and if he destroyed a base, he'd be like, haha, but he didn't know that I've got like five more bases. Every time he leaves to go destroy a new one, I just build that one back
Starting point is 00:35:34 up and then go find something else. I don't know, that's the fun way to play it. And you build your population. I've gotten really into RTS. I'm enjoying it a lot. I'm open to any suggestions from the fans, and if you guys want to come play with us, my Steam is OFPSKyleO. Mine is TaylorMurka.
Starting point is 00:35:50 We're happy to play with you. Just hop on there, send us a message, we'll add you. Like I said, lately we've been playing Age of Mythology. We got Age of Empires 2, but I quickly asked Steam for a refund on that shit because I didn't care for the look of it. Much older look. Kyle, your gaming
Starting point is 00:36:05 computer, I mean, it's not terrible, but it's a little aged in comparison. Yeah, it definitely is, but I'll tell you what I'm waiting on. The point when I had any performance issue with any game that I actually want to play. I put StarCraft on Ultra and had no issues. Okay. I was just going to ask about that.
Starting point is 00:36:22 And StarCraft, I guess, is not a new game. It came out around when your computer was no, I think like Ancient games yeah One came out in the 90s. I think didn't it yeah Yeah, it's not until like Starcraft 3 comes out in 2018 Which I just made up and you know where you'll be like I wish I had something new Maybe this that I know like spec wise this thing this thing is definitely old and slow it's got the two 580s or whatever in it um i think um but i've never ran into an issue where i didn't have enough juice except uh when i was modding skyrim and i i literally had
Starting point is 00:36:56 38 mods on there before it crashed i i was i was still pretty happy and running at 45 frames per second something like that silly mods or yeah Oh, big fucking titties, naked people. Like, there's a vagina mod to make the pussy look just the way you want it to look. There's so many mods for Skyrim. Like, all the chicks are, like, these giant, titted, buxom, ridiculous, like, elf bitches, like, running around with, like, you can pick whether you want them to have a landing strip or what you want. It's outrageous, the the customization can i jump in with the vagina talk yeah so like three weeks ago maybe you had a rant about how dirty vaginas were and how much
Starting point is 00:37:35 upkeep they required okay that is true so the next week my mom calls and i had the most awkward conversation it was like i've got a bone to pick with kyle and i'm like oh and she's like he doesn't seem to like vaginas at all and you know i'm like oh i'm sure he's a huge fan he just needs them you know properly maintained and uh and then here's where the awkward part comes from and kyle i hold you half responsible for this. She starts telling me. I know. Too much. Your father always made me feel beautiful and never had me feeling dirty or bad or whatever.
Starting point is 00:38:15 I'm like, oh my God. Oh my goodness. Mom. He said I was his little flower. He didn't care. He was a little musky down there. He dove right in. He dove right in. He dove right in.
Starting point is 00:38:26 Both feet. Both feet. Sometimes more. Sometimes much more. You know, you're like, holy shit. Yeah, yeah. And I was like cutting her off. I was like, okay, mom.
Starting point is 00:38:36 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she didn't say this, but there was this vibe of like, no, you have to hear this. You know, your father was a big fan. Your father loves it. Eat off my twat. vibe of like no you have to hear this you know your father was a big fan what word did she use to for her vagina slit i don't know if she used a word she might have just made a reference you know like your father always made me feel beautiful or something like that yeah I would have loved it to hear what uh what what she called it what uh what she called it yeah because everybody calls well now I'm sure
Starting point is 00:39:19 I'm about to Kyle I hear I don't I stand by what I said I feel like you know no it's a totally reason it's just like a pool like can be great and a barrel of fun but if you let the pH get all out of whack it's gonna end up start smelling weird and something could even die in it I have never ran into a like gross vagina
Starting point is 00:39:40 I really haven't but my cousin has he told me that he described a scenario where they were on a couch and the girl unzips her pants and like he's fingering her and then the smell hits him and he's just he like recoils and starts like getting himself together to leave and she's like what is it what's wrong he's like you know what you know what it is you know what were you trying to pull here you know what everyone in this room and in the adjacent rooms knows something happened bad down there. It was a clever ruse to tell me that you were just a producer
Starting point is 00:40:13 on Deadliest Catch when we met at the park. But now that we're back, I see that I was fooled. Three hours later and it's still coming on strong. Mike Rowe'sirty Jobs Assistant, my ass. I'm out of here. Watch out for that. No, I am particular about
Starting point is 00:40:33 vagina. That's the only thing. I think maybe if you were vagina starved, if you're out there and you don't get very much vagina per se, let's just say that, you might not mind if it's a smelly vagina or a bloody vagina or a dirty vagina or whatever you know cheesy vagina hungry man thinks a saltine is a gourmet meal absolutely okay um i i i i want a clean vagina that's all i'm saying a very very clean vagina and you're not
Starting point is 00:41:00 making a really crazy claim here like this this is – that's pretty sane. You just want someone to be clean. That's normal. Yeah. You know? I want her to be pretty too. I don't want some crazy rough people out there. I always see the complaint that pornography and the types of vaginas that are chosen to be put into pornography.
Starting point is 00:41:21 I think in Australia maybe there was even a law. Guys without dads. to be put into pornography. I think in Australia, maybe there was even a law. Guys without dads. In Australia, there either was a law or there is a law about the kind of vagina that can be put into pornography. Like, if the...
Starting point is 00:41:33 Small boobs. If the lips are too big or too crazy, like, you can't have them. They're like, oh, not that pussy, not in our pornography, absolutely not. And so that can distill this image in men that, oh oh all vaginas are these perfect little innies that don't have a big roast beef mouth coming at me all crazy
Starting point is 00:41:50 looking like the fucking predator face sucker like that's a vagina that's a real law in australia yeah it either was or it is and this is better information coming at you so um so what happens is all the men are expecting this perfect little any vagina. And then they see like the face sucker coming at them. And they're like, whoa, I don't want that. And so women are getting offended by that. They feel like their vagina should be pretty like everyone else's. But I say they should get that plastic surgery down there.
Starting point is 00:42:22 Get that thing fixed up. Because, I mean, I had a little surgery on my dick to make it more appealing for you why can't you do the same equal rights i say you think there should be a little it's good for jack the surgery you had was at one day old i presume i i mean before that right i i hate standing up to female genital mutilation, but someone's got to do it. You know, I've never been with an ugly vagina, but I picture myself being not that picky. Any vagina that can make me gasm is a good one. I don't like that word. You don't like the word?
Starting point is 00:43:02 No, I don't think that I've ever been with an ugly one. I've certainly been with someone where I was like, oh, that could be better. You know, I could be a little different. You know, they're not all perfect. You know, and there's definitely an ideal vagina in, I think, the majority of men's eyes or the majority of people who like vaginas.
Starting point is 00:43:21 It's one of those things, though, where it's like, unless there's a problem, I't really care you know where it's like until there's an issue with it it's like i as long as you're not as long as it's not just bananas down there like if it's just out of control you know and it's like what if it looks like when the predator is screaming at arnold schwarzenegger in Predator 1. When it's just like... Like with the crazy mouth. Well, is it screaming? Yeah, it doesn't have those bone teeth things.
Starting point is 00:43:52 What would it sound like? Just like a deep gurgle? Goodness gracious. Oh, gross. As long as there's no problem. I don't see a reason to even care. Your flyer's lost, Woody. Oh, they're just laying a trap.
Starting point is 00:44:14 They're trying to lull the Capitals into thinking that this will be an easy series. And come tomorrow or next day, probably next day, they'll split away and take home ice advantage so they're winning on saturday is what you're saying yes yes they win on saturday i'm gonna i want to get kyle and your bracket picks and i want kyle's especially because he won't know i started looking up flyers and for enforcers to counter our private conversation. The challenge was you were completely right. They have no enforcer whatsoever.
Starting point is 00:44:51 On top of that, you mentioned Wayne Simmons as their pseudo-enforcer. I think he's their leading goal scorer or second. Him and Giroux are right there. And I'm like, no way. He's their toughest guy. Actually? Yeah. right there and i'm like no way he's their toughest guy actually yeah like it and it's kind of badass that such a talented guy can hold his own like that do i need to fill this bracket out but um no i was saying we can just do it uh verbally kyle because the players already start
Starting point is 00:45:19 but yeah that's wayne simmons is a player. He's having a standout year, I believe. He is. Doing really well. Stepped up. All right, Kyle. So, first of all, let's not tell Kyle what the team names are. I need the team names. That's the only thing I need. No, I think you should go by emblem.
Starting point is 00:45:37 Yeah, you have to say like – okay, so that top one on the top left there, that's the Western Conference. That one means they're the first seed, and the W down there means they're a wild card okay so that's clearly the capitals and the flyers and the flyers just lost okay that's on the right side i'm talking about the left side oh on the left side is yeah is that like what is that d anybody guess um um well i guess i'll go with the uh the number one seed winning that the the d team what team wait well you got you got to give us the the match up there what teams are those who's gonna win and in how many games um i'm gonna guess that those are the diamondbacks
Starting point is 00:46:17 uh-huh where are they from the diamondbacks arizona they're the baseball team really doing well this year i'm the doing the best I can. Okay, and they're beating who is that yellow? They're going to win. Well, who are they winning over right now, that opposing team? The Green Donkeys?
Starting point is 00:46:38 It looks like a green It looks like the Green Borough. It looks like a green Borough. So the Arizona Diamondbacks are going to beat the Green Donkeys. I think he's right. I can't recall. Where are they from again? Mexico.
Starting point is 00:46:54 Wow, the Mexico Boros versus the Arizona Diamondbacks, who they just gave up on baseball, sucked so long, ended up being really just the whole team playing the wrong sport. Okay, so. Now you might know this next bracket. Yeah, you might know this next one. So someone is taking on someone else. So is this the music notes versus the Redskins here?
Starting point is 00:47:20 It is, yes. Okay, well, I'm definitely going to go with that Indian looking team because... You're right! Yeah, I'm going to go with them. The Black Foots or whatever the fuck they are. That's what I'm going to call them. Those are the Black Feet. I think the Black Feet are
Starting point is 00:47:37 going to trounce the like... The music notes. The conductors. The conductors over there. The conductors. The conductors versus there. The conductors. The conductors versus the Blackfoots, and you're saying the Blackfoots come out of it to take on the Arizona Diamondbacks. Yeah, yeah, they win in four, right? Okay. In four, wow. Well, they can't. They already lost the first one, so it's going to have to be at least five. They're going
Starting point is 00:47:59 to call it back. There's going to be a controversy. There's going to be a controversy there. You heard it here first. There's a doping scandal. Okay. And then down there, you've got... It looks like the brown batarangs are going to face off against the saber teeth. Can you help out with where these teams are from again? The brown batarangs are from Detroit, and I think the saber teeth are... I think they're from L.A. The L.A.?
Starting point is 00:48:22 Yeah, for sure. So it's not the logo directly beneath the saber-tooth that says LA? I think LA had two teams. Oh, so that's the Louisiana Kings. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:30 No, that's definitely the LA Kings, but I think there's two teams in LA, two NHL teams. Oh, okay. I mean, just look at the word.
Starting point is 00:48:38 LA Kings and the LA Sabre-tooth. I think the Sabre-tooth look like a logo that could be LA. I get the vibe also. They're not. The Sacramento Sabretooth over there.
Starting point is 00:48:49 I'm going to keep them in California. I say that they're going to win this one. Wow. They're definitely going to take out the Detroit Batarangs. The Brown Batarangs. That's deep shit. What about the lower one? The last one in the Western Conference.
Starting point is 00:49:04 The LA Stars are definitely going to beat the Rockets, I guess. The Rockets? I don't know what that is. It looks like some sort of sea animal, doesn't it? No, not even a little. Biting a hockey stick.
Starting point is 00:49:20 Is it like the seagulls? What the fuck is that? That does not look like a shark. Now that you know it's a shark, does it kind of look like a shark? I know what a shark looks like. He's been close with sharks. Okay, so just a quick recap. Before we go on to the Eastern Conference,
Starting point is 00:49:36 we've got the Arizona Diamondbacks taking it home over the New Mexico Burros. We've got the St. Louis Conductors losing in four games after a recall of the first game they won against the Blackfoots. Unprecedented. Then we got the LA Batarangs. The Detroit Batarangs.
Starting point is 00:49:54 The Detroit Batarangs against the LA Sabre Teeth. Sacramento Sabre Teeth. And then we've got the LA Stars against the Warehouse. Victorious over the Makos down there. The Makos. Where are the Makos? Where are they from?
Starting point is 00:50:13 They're up in Florida. I imagine they're in the – even though I know they're in the Western Division, but I imagine that they got sold, but they're still in Florida. So it's just some kind of like snafu that way. So the Florida Makos. So that way. So the Florida make goes. So that's up through the quarterfinals. Eastern Conference. It says Capitals up there, and you know that's the Flyers. So who's winning that one?
Starting point is 00:50:34 Well, that's definitely going to be the Capitals because they already won that, right? They already won one game. One game at best of seven series. Oh, well, I see that trending going forward. So I don't see the Flyers winning any games in that. Very opposite trend than the Conductors versus the Blackfoots.
Starting point is 00:50:52 Completely different, yes. How about the one right below there? That's a penguin. And that's the Penguins. I don't know. The Penguins? Are they from Canada? There aren't any American Penguins, so how could that even be?
Starting point is 00:51:15 You know, that's a good point. And you'll see that there are no Canadian teams here. None of the Canadian teams made the playoffs. None of them. Is it Pennsylvania? Yes, it is. Is that literally true? There's no Canadian teams in the playoffs this year?
Starting point is 00:51:27 No Canadian teams in the playoffs. It's Pittsburgh Penguins. And then, of course, it says New York Rangers. Then we got a picture of a cat and something else down there. Who's taking that one home? I didn't notice that. You're right. I can... All right, so that's New York something.
Starting point is 00:51:43 Durr? Something New York der something I don't know I don't know there's some sort of saber cat there again that's either like a it's orange and white so it's a tiger
Starting point is 00:51:58 or some sort of tiger versus the New York Islanders the New York Islanders. The New York Islanders. And I'm going to say the Islanders come out and win that. Another upset. Wow. I'm imagining.
Starting point is 00:52:14 Yes, absolutely. And then it looks like we've got the Kansas City Lightning Bolt versus the Detroit Red Wings, I think. Lightning Bolt versus the Detroit Red Wings I think and I'm going to say I'm going to say that the Thunderbolt wins Thunderbolt wins, Detroit, two teams for Detroit, three for LA
Starting point is 00:52:35 and then we've got where was this cat in the Eastern Conference from again I can't recall fuck I don't know. The Kansas City? No, that's what I like. Teams from Kansas City. They are really not diversified very well
Starting point is 00:52:51 in the NHL. Just throw another team in Kansas City. When you find a team that's into hockey, you've got to latch on multiple teams. Alright, so any more questions? I was going to say, who's bringing the cup home this year Kyle which one of these teams that you maybe might know well I predict the
Starting point is 00:53:09 Capitals are going are the team that's gonna make it and I see them the the black feet taking on okay the Capitals versus the black feet. Taking on... Okay, the Capitals versus the black feet. And the Capitals win it all. Yeah. Do you have the Capitals over the black feet? Yep, he's got the Capitals over the black feet.
Starting point is 00:53:36 Yeah. I would take the Capitals over the black feet as well. Kyle, I want to know... Or not Kyle. Woody, I want to know yours for real. Because I know you actually, you know, it's... How bad are you going to feel if I beat you? It's the 0% chance. What?
Starting point is 00:53:52 It was like that far off? Because the names don't matter. It's just a win-loss. No, yeah, I know, but you picked the wild card in three out of, like, four places. All right, I'll go. That's not going to happen. Are you ready? Shit.
Starting point is 00:54:04 You can even give the correct team names, Woody. I'll take the Dallas Stars over the Minnesota Wild there. I will take I guess the Blackhawks over the Blues just to poke at you. I'll take the
Starting point is 00:54:21 Mighty Ducks over the Nashville Predators. And I'll take the Mighty Ducks over the Nashville Predators. Ducks. And I'll take... I guess I'll take the Kings over the Sharks. I don't really know. I haven't been following that closely. At a risk, out of loyalty, I will choose the Flyers over the Capitals.
Starting point is 00:54:40 I'll take the Penguins over the Rangers because they've been mega super hot heading into the playoffs. I feel like the Islanders, until the very end, they were losing too. All right, I'll go Panthers over Islanders and Detroit over Tampa Bay there. We were really similar for the most part. Really? I also took
Starting point is 00:55:05 Dallas over Minnesota. I take St. Louis over Chicago. I take Ducks over Predators. Kings over Sharks. Capitals over Flyers. Penguins over Rangers. Panthers over Islanders. And then I can't decide
Starting point is 00:55:22 on Tampa Bay versus Detroit. I think Tampa Bay is going to win it, but they've got so many fucking injuries. And Detroit has, they're in the playoffs every year. They're in the playoffs every year, but man, they fell ass backwards into the playoffs this year. They started playing like they didn't want to make it to the playoffs. The whole Eastern Conference fell,
Starting point is 00:55:41 like the bottom half of the playoff bracket all lost together. Yeah. It was like the Red Wings, the Flyers, and the Bruins were all fighting as hard as they could to not make the playoffs at the end. They all only had to win like one fucking game to secure it, and every one of them lost like two or three in a row. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you go ahead and put five on the Kings. That's actually not that bad of a bet. The Kings, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:56:05 Depends on Jonathan Quick, Chiz. Depends on Jonathan Quick. His season hasn't been that spectacular. The other thing, Taylor, we'd be even more similar, I think, if I think I might still choose Chicago, just because I like teams that do well the year before. I feel like they're strong and they know what they're doing. Whereas teams that don't do well the year before,
Starting point is 00:56:23 they're still learning their way. But I'd probably pick the Capitals if I wasn't a Flyers fan, which would make us more similar. Yeah. This is like last year. Or no, it was two years ago that I picked Chicago to beat us in the first round, and they did because it was pretty clear they were the better team.
Starting point is 00:56:40 This year, I'm not quite sure. Yeah, I think we got a good shot this year. But I think we have a fucking good shot every year. It's disappointing, so I have no expectations. You're St. Louis. If they did do the whole, like... I think it's in their contract to lose in the first round. It is.
Starting point is 00:56:55 I could be wrong, but I think so. They have to be able to golf. Yeah. In spring. The only people better at golfing than St. Louis are the Bruins this year. And last year. Bruins missed the play the Bruins this year. And last year. Bruins missed the playoff by one point this year and last year. Yeah, well, tea time.
Starting point is 00:57:09 It's like they didn't give a fuck both times. But I don't know. I wish Kyle would get into hockey. We could chit-chat about it. Our guest tonight was going to care about hockey, purportedly. Yeah. Yeah, I watched part of a Cardinals-Braves game. It was at a bar uh when i was watching the
Starting point is 00:57:27 blues game the other night so nobody cares about this elitist sport says chis in the chat oh yeah bernie's gonna make us all seller hockey equipments we can give a bunch of shitty soccer balls to kids in the congo fuck right off dude there's a thing about bernie so here's the thing one i hear like it seems like russians again and again and again are talking about Bernie Sanders. And the general theme I get from these Russians is you guys don't know fuck about socialism. I do. You know, this is, like, you don't want a giant government that controls everything. Trust me.
Starting point is 00:58:03 You don't, excuse me, You don't want all this. And then I saw a YouTube video that said something that really burned into my head. It was, do you think you're going to do better or worse under socialism? And the guy's like, I think I'm going to do better.
Starting point is 00:58:17 He's like, doesn't that feel greedy? Like you're, okay, then you're going to be taking things from people who are doing better than you. Why is that right? Aren't you greedy? No, those people I'm taking from are the greedy ones how does that logic line up it doesn't line up it doesn't well it can make sense difference between democratic socialism and
Starting point is 00:58:39 leninism and marxism and communism it's it it's a huge big web to be debated. But even democratic socialism is a tad too on the take my shit away and give it to someone else side of things. It's socialism. I know democratic socialism, whatever. But it's a war on the losers against the achievers, right? And I feel like – Sanders versus Trump. The only way...
Starting point is 00:59:07 Losers versus the Achievers, 2016. The doers versus the tweeters. I'm not in love with Trump either. Of course not. Shit, I lost my train of thought. I feel like the only way to honestly be for Sanders is if you're going to lose in that situation. If you're going to win as a...
Starting point is 00:59:29 If you're going to benefit from a Sanders presidency, then you're a crook. If you're going to benefit from a Sanders presidency, then you're just trying to take somebody else's shit who probably went further in school than you. Damn, Woody. This is really it's yeah that's a really harsh way to put it but it's really you can't it's hard to argue against like playing devil's advocate let's see
Starting point is 00:59:57 well that's different woody because need some people need what some people need a kick in the ass that capitalism gives them i want i don't think you understand woody but but i i want it no you're you're mixing things up i i want it i want it and i you should be forced to give it to me. Rebuttal. I would not like to give it to you. Oh, this guy. Not giving me his. Now who's greedy? Now I'm greedy.
Starting point is 01:00:35 Yeah, now we've nailed it. I, yeah. And Trump. So, like, dude, can we, we watched already, I think, the minute and a half thing on Trump's abortion. I think we saw it already where he was, like, cornered into answering. And he said for, like, two hours he was for punishing women. And then he realized he was for punishing doctors. Trump's never been a politician.
Starting point is 01:00:59 And his inexperience shows on the campaign trail. It shows in all this delegate trickery crap. It shows, and it will show, in his presidency. Like, I worry. I would, if Trump wanted to be president, I wish he had done six years as senator first. You know? Or at least, like, three or four weeks like Obama. Right?
Starting point is 01:01:20 Was it four weeks or three? Over the course of a couple weekends, get your feel for it. I don't think. We want zero experience from Trump in there. I feel like that would just make him dirty, that toxic environment in Washington. They want an outsider, and they're going to get one. And let's hope that he assembles a cabinet who can guide him and make sure that he doesn't step into any more of these snafus with rules violations and stuff like that. It seems like, although that thing in Colorado does seem really shitty,
Starting point is 01:01:48 because I know the rules are the rules. I get that. I know that nothing wrong was done. What I'm saying is the rules are wrong. They were wrong before the vote, regardless of who wins, because what ended up happening is the delegates decided to all go to Cruz before the people of Colorado even voted. So why even have them vote?
Starting point is 01:02:06 Why have them vote at all? It doesn't make any sense to me on just a common sense kind of level. In every election in my entire life, I've never really liked the notion of the people who say all politicians are dirty, all politicians are bad. It's like, no, that's lame, and it just reflects a lack of research and whatever. You have to pick your favorite and vote for them. I've never had an election until this one. I don't like Trump. I don't like Hillary.
Starting point is 01:02:34 I don't like Bernie. Somehow they all seem pretty flawed to me. But Cruz. I don't like Cruz. Do you think he might be a Zodiac killer? So I hate that I can't find somebody to like, but this is what I'm trying to get to. I really do like the notion of the guy who gets the most votes getting the win.
Starting point is 01:02:56 That is important to me. And even though I think that Trump might not do well in the general, and if he does, I don't think he'll do well as president he should be the guy if that's who people vote for so and there are people who are going to explain to me that the Democratic Party and the Republican Party aren't government
Starting point is 01:03:16 and that they can do anything they want fuck off I know that what you're saying is true but they're effectively government can we agree on that can we agree that the president's either going to be a democrat or republican and we have a two-party system and we had the same two parties since like the 1800s and that's how things actually are so they should be run with at least the integrity that we've grown accustomed to in the government yeah i uh i i'm looking forward to seeing the protests
Starting point is 01:03:46 that are going to happen tomorrow, which will be Friday, yesterday, to you Saturday listeners and viewers. Because Trump said they're going to have a big protest in Colorado. And I look forward to seeing what goes down there. It's going to be... When they get down to the convention, I think if he's anywhere near 1237,
Starting point is 01:04:03 they've got to give it to him. If he gets 1100, like that one party guy37, they've got to give it to him. If he gets 1100 like that one party guy said, they've got to give it to him. Is Kasich still in it or is he done? Yeah, he's in it. Mathematically eliminated, yeah. But just running so that he can take away from Trump. Kasich is hoping that we add a few states to the union before this process is over and they get to vote too. He's hoping that Greenland and maybe Australia get to vote.
Starting point is 01:04:26 Maybe they'll want to go with him. Yeah, it should be criminal. Trump is clearly going to get the most votes, but he's not clearly going to be the candidate. And that shouldn't be in question right now. I look forward to it. I want to see Trump v. Hillary for the same reason I said I wanted to see it three, four months ago. It's my dream.
Starting point is 01:04:52 It's going to be hilarious because I hate Hillary Clinton. And whether he can beat her or not, he's going to insult her. And I like seeing Hillary Clinton get insulted. Didn't someone call her a whore yesterday? and get insulted. Didn't someone call her a whore yesterday? Sanders supporter did, but I don't know what relation he had to Sanders or who it was.
Starting point is 01:05:10 I mean, people say crazy things. It's not like it was Sanders' brother or something. Right, or it wasn't like it was Sanders. Yeah, exactly. Chase is about to type in who called her a whore. I think he's getting to that. A whore. A warm-up guy.
Starting point is 01:05:23 Oh, that's a little more associated. Wow, and Trump, if there's a Trump fan who has a racist sign, it's like, that person didn't even watch The Apprentice or know who Donald Trump is, but they'll be like, one of his good friends being offensive in the parking lot.
Starting point is 01:05:39 Meanwhile, Bernie Sanders does it, and everybody's like, well, how associated with him was it? Oh, he was the guy that walked out on stage? Oh, fuck. Well, look, Trump's name was Drumpf. Sanders wasn't there? Look at that content-rich link. How can he be the warm-up guy?
Starting point is 01:05:57 Who did he warm up for? Chiz? Maybe he was Sanders' fluffer. Is that what he meant? Warm-up guy for Sanders. Sanders wasn't there. Well, in any case, I really want to see this thing go to the next level. I'm tired of this Ted Cruz nonsense.
Starting point is 01:06:15 I feel like Donald has beaten him, but the thing just keeps dragging on for some reason. It's clear that Donald has beaten Cruz. It's clear that he's beaten all 16 of his opponents thus far. Did you see that leaked photo of the wall of shame at Trump headquarters? It's a picture of every candidate that he's knocked out. He's got them up there with embarrassing photos of them.
Starting point is 01:06:36 It says wall of shame on it. That's awesome. He sees life as a huge competition. And he's winning. Yeah, and he sees all of his opponents as just opponents to be beaten and that's what he's doing one by one the show goes up on the 16th on the 19th new york votes and if hillary whoops up on sanders in the election like she's doing in the polls about the election then sand Sanders is... Can we stop
Starting point is 01:07:06 talking about Sanders? Is New York going to be the time when they're pretty much going to have to say, like, alright, it's over. Like, we can't. We're done. Is that a line in the sand for real? We're practically there now. As long as we get Delaware. Unless she gets indicted, yes. I think if Sanders doesn't
Starting point is 01:07:22 either win or at least do well, he has to either win or do, and he needs to do well to keep this thing going. Even without the superdelegates involved, he's down by over 200. So he really needs to pick some of these up. 95 delegates at play.
Starting point is 01:07:37 They always put those delegates out in different ways. They'll be like 13 delegates if you win the state, but then the rest of them will go congressionally, district by district. It's to calculate how what he needs to win exactly but he needs to do well yeah like if you look at the pop I'm gonna mess this up somehow but like the population of the state Sanders won combines for like 20 million Florida also has 20 million like and Hillary kicked his ass in Florida like that's why he's so far behind. If you look at state by state, then suddenly, like, there's a game going on here. He's losing it, but there's a game.
Starting point is 01:08:10 If you look at the population of those states, then, well, that's why he's getting his ass kicked in the delegate count. And when New York comes around, if he doesn't get more delegates than her, then it will be time to open your eyes and realize that Sanders is not in it. If he does get more delegates than her, then this gets really interesting. What's the last movie you watched? Oh, shit. I don't know. I watched Ghost the other day with Patrick Swayze
Starting point is 01:08:41 to me more. Rewatch that. I tried to watch some war movie with British people and fell asleep during it on Netflix. Do you guys know it? War movie with British people? Yeah. What war? A recent one.
Starting point is 01:08:57 It was maybe Afghanistan. No, I haven't seen that. I don't know. I watched Ghost the other night. I love that. That one always makes me cry. Patrick Swayze's dancing with Demi Moore as a ghost. It's super, super sad.
Starting point is 01:09:13 I've never seen that. Did it really make you cry? Or are you being hyperbolic? No, it made me cry. Watch it. It's very, very good acting. Whoopi Goldberg's in it. She won an Oscar for that, for Best Supporting Actress.
Starting point is 01:09:24 I've seen it tons of times. Never cried. It's a very good movie. Sorry, go ahead. The category it's in is tearjerkers, literally. Oh, a tearjerker I can think of that wouldn't be categorized as that is Green Mile. It should be categorized as a tearjerker.
Starting point is 01:09:41 Of course, I cry every time. The book is sad, too. When he stomps out Mr. Tibbs, I tear up right then and there. I tear up right then and there, and I'm like, fuck, that's fucked up, man. It's so fucked, and I'm about to cry. But I hold it together, because, you know,
Starting point is 01:09:58 John Paul Jones or whatever the fuck his name is breathes some life back into that motherfucker. But then later, you know, when he dies and you get to the sad moment, I lose it there, too. I back into that motherfucker. But then later, you know, when he dies and, you know, you get to the sad moment, I lose it there too. I cry at that one. Yeah, that's a real sad film, yeah. Oh, just – it's not even as 100% sad as like the mixture of –
Starting point is 01:10:17 Injustice. It does a good job playing with your emotions where you're so mad at Percy and you're just, oh, God, I would do anything to see him in a Saw-like scenario, having his fingernails pulled out for stepping on that, oh, you just get so mad and then you get hit with the sad and then you get hit with the happy when you're like, oh, and John Coffey, like, he's this great, almost like a supernatural being and then
Starting point is 01:10:36 the end happens and he can't, he can't dodge death, you know? Yeah, it's, uh, that one makes me cry and of course Sling Blade, I mention all the time that one makes me cry and of course sling blade i mentioned all the time that would make sense if you've ever seen sling blade no uh green mile is by far it makes me sadder than any movie i've ever watched um but then of course i wish this looked like a play date like shindler's list is quite sad too um but but but you're right green mile sadder uh i recently
Starting point is 01:11:01 watched batman versus superman no, no details whatsoever, I promise. But I watched it in IMAX 3D. I liked it a lot. I have seen most of the source material that they used to make this thing. The Batman two-part series, the Dark Knight Returns series. I've seen that. It's like three or four hours of content. And I've also
Starting point is 01:11:26 seen... I'm trying to think. Of course, I've watched all of them. All of the Batman, Superman movies that there have ever been. All those animated ones are really good. Some of them are great voice acting and stuff. But because of that, I was really familiar. And the Death of Superman. I've seen that one
Starting point is 01:11:42 of course too. So I was familiar with all the source material that made this thing. And I didn't watch any of the teasers or trailers at all. I think I might have seen a Super Bowl teaser where you got the line in there, do you bleed? You will. That's the only
Starting point is 01:11:57 teaser I had whatsoever going into this thing. And I think because of that, I enjoyed it a lot. I like Zack Snyder movies. I liked the... what's that superhero movie he did that everyone hates um with um dr manhattan and uh and owl man and all those people whatever that is watchman the watchman i i like that too zach snyder movies don't have a lot of like uh herder character development and sometimes the pacing can be off and it can seem disjointed but it's a comic book movie and I got what I wanted
Starting point is 01:12:28 I got everything I wanted out of it and I didn't mind I've read all the reviews, I've been on Rotten Tomatoes I've seen the reasons people don't like it and I see those flaws but I just look past them they don't bother me because I feel like the overall sum of what the movie is was enough that I would give it a thumbs up.
Starting point is 01:12:45 And that I enjoyed it. And I'm glad I watched it. Maybe I will check it out after I check out Star Wars. Yeah, you should probably start catching up on some of the greatest movies that have been made in the last two years. Kilo 2 Bravo is the movie I didn't finish. It's supposed to be very good. I haven't heard of that. Are you guys just talking about Watchmen?
Starting point is 01:13:07 That is an amazingly good movie. Did you watch the extended version with five extra seconds of Dong? Yes. I hope so. I've seen it several times. I'm not sure if I've seen the extended version or not. I like the fighting in it.
Starting point is 01:13:24 The character who plays... What is he? The comedian. The comedian makes a small cameo appearance in the Batman vs. Superman movie. Is he a comedian? No, he plays Bruce Wayne's father. Gotcha.
Starting point is 01:13:39 So he's just the actor. Yes, the actor reprises his role. I immediately made the zach snyder connection like oh he was in watchmen and here he is here watchman doesn't exist in any of the other universes does it it's its own i think i believe that is correct yes i believe it's its own i oh i think what it is is a parallel universe in maybe the dc comic universe but don't quote me on that i think it's definitely a parallel universe though and it could and therefore it could exist within you know the the realm of dc or marvel and maybe chiz should be researching this i haven't read up on the watchman stuff in years yeah do you guys
Starting point is 01:14:15 watch walking dead i all right so here's the thing with walking dead um i watched that season of course where andrew i'm not gonna spoil anything or anything but I watched the season where we lost Andrea I remember that. That was several years ago when we were watching I think the last season I watched had the governor in it and there was the whole thing at the prison etc etc and I stopped watching there
Starting point is 01:14:38 because I lost interest in the show and I felt like it wasn't as good as it used to be however I know there's a character whenever that character named Abraham or whoever comes into the show, maybe it's season five or six, I've heard that it's gotten much, much better than it used to be,
Starting point is 01:14:52 and I'm planning on catching up to it. It's one of those things that I'm saving up, and maybe the next time I've got the flu or I break up with a girlfriend, I'll watch that. Looking dead got good. So one of the early seasons didn't have enough action. And I suffered through it.
Starting point is 01:15:07 And then Andrea, like, dude, I've never – I can't think of another character whose death I enjoyed as much as that woman. Like, I don't want her on my TV. I wouldn't want her at my barbecue. I don't want her in my life. I just – I wouldn't want her as my coworker. This woman is just detestable. I hope she doesn't get any more
Starting point is 01:15:25 acting jobs i i never i something about her is just awful to me and i'm glad she's dead and then she died just she's somehow disloyal and sissy yet want to be tough all at one time it's terrible yeah anyway i hated her i hated her character and i hated the actress that played her not just because of the character either like the way that the actress held herself was disgusting to me like uh joffrey for example i forget the actor's name um you hated that character right but then after he was gone it was just like bravo bravo for making me hate you the way you did well well played this woman speaks like a nice guy yeah i didn't hate her because of her character i hated her because of who that actress seemed to be anyway her name andrea in walking dead i need to see this sure anyway uh blonde hair wise gaping now straw blonde hair sticky thing look like years of bad hair keeping
Starting point is 01:16:27 or something and uh um but it got good and there's action every show now and there's like character development that seems to matter and the season finale from this last one the internet hates it because it a real cliffhanger huh i was gonna say too much um i'll say this there's a cliffhanger and historically in the walking dead every season kind of resolves it and gives a hint about next season they left questions unresolved and comic book readers or graphic novel readers know what should happen, but sometimes they don't line up perfectly. And the Internet hates it, but I was so invested in it, I was scared. And I'm not often scared at TV shows. You were worried for the characters.
Starting point is 01:17:20 I was worried for the characters. I was at the edge of my seat. There was a movie I watched as a little kid called The Wanderers. And there was a gang called the Ducky Boys in it that just sort of surrounded the main cast. And I just have never been – I was like, how the hell are they going to deal with this situation? They are fucked. And I felt that again as a grown-up like just like that with the Goonies Yeah, the Goonies
Starting point is 01:17:50 The ducky boys well I that that interests me. I maybe I'll catch up with the show I I don't really have anything to watch right now I just finished we were watching a couple of my favorites a few more times adding to the the mindless droll of useless Dunder Margo yet Better call Saul. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah favorites a few more times adding to the the mindless droll of useless dunder yet have you got a chance better call Saul oh yeah oh yeah you have to try it when you get a chance Kyle you're gonna really enjoy it up here he's a little cold but for the most part he's friendly folk he's he's kind of a North Dakotan leprechaun in there you're always after me snowy charms no i i watched it all snowy charms i watched it all uh i prefer season one i'm sure the entire world does my girlfriend couldn't even
Starting point is 01:18:33 enjoy it we didn't even watch season two with me she was like eh i'm not into it like season two and i was like come on give it up i like three four episodes in she didn't like the characters she didn't like uh she didn't appreciate the tie ins you know with the the season one you know season one often spoke about the events that happened in season two and you know built them up like oh back then and 78 or whatever the fuck it was you know so i was looking forward to that i felt like the uh the alien aspect of it was bizarre and like disjointed and i and i wasn't confused by it I got it I just don't know why it was there and why it wasn't either focused more upon or just left completely the fuck out one or the other in that whole series where I just saw something I was like oh fuck like god damn it
Starting point is 01:19:18 jump the shark you jump the shark like episode one like I didn't care about it at all. With, like, there was so much more. Like, there was already a ton at stake in what was happening at the motel where they were having to shoot out and whatnot. Season two. Season two of Fargo. Toward the end. And there was already a ton at stake. All the gangs are meeting up. They're all coming to the same spot.
Starting point is 01:19:40 And so you're already hyped. And I was like, oh, fuck. What's going to happen? And then they get there and in the middle of all the action where you're like trying to hash through and be like oh who's winning who's not like what's going on this spaceship shows up and completely throws the rhythm off of everything remember it was in episode one yeah yeah but it just i i didn't like that addition at all to the show no it was It was bizarre, off-putting, and made no sense.
Starting point is 01:20:07 It felt a bit like an X-Files episode. It was reminiscent of one, really. But it came out of left field. It's like all of a sudden if Decepticons rolled up in there and were like, Optimus Prime, we cannot allow him to take the sacred stone and started blasting blasters away. You'd be like, okay okay it's transformers now all
Starting point is 01:20:25 right yeah there's just no reason to add that to it they took away from a really important part just to put something in that didn't need to it's like if when and that's on the heels given that speech to to sam right before to pippin right before the trolls break down in minas tirith second minas tirith reference of the night and he's saying, this isn't not the end. And he's given all the details about the rolling hills and whatnot, and then they finally bust it down. But it's like, if in the middle of that speech, they just cut to, you know, fucking Gollum masturbating
Starting point is 01:20:55 in a cave, and that was it. It was never revisited to see what happened. It's just at the end, they showed up in Frodo's bedroom. Yeah, it was terrible. And the worst part is that comes on the heels of season one, which is really a masterpiece. It really stands out. Very, very good season.
Starting point is 01:21:10 Billy Bob Thornton steals the show. Amazing performance. Plays one of those creepier Javier Barden-type characters from No Country for Old Men who's clearly an individual who's not like the rest of us. He's not a socially competent human being. He's a creep, a weirdo. He makes your skin crawl when he's in the room
Starting point is 01:21:30 because he doesn't look at you like a fucking person. He looks at you as something to be used, extract information from. He doesn't care how he does it. He even says in the show, he's like, you think there are rules. He goes through that. Woody loves that shit.
Starting point is 01:21:44 I like those moments too. I am the one who knocks. It goes back to anything like that when it's fucking laying the law down. The writers took a minute and wrote a little gem here. This is going to roll off his tongue. This is a badass fucking moment. I like that shit too.
Starting point is 01:21:59 This show was full of it. It felt like a movie. That's the other thing. The production quality is so high on Fargo season one. My girlfriend, she's like, how long is this movie? Four episodes in. And I'm like, this is a show, baby. We got like 10 fucking episodes to go. And she's like, yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:15 Production quality is a weird thing. I love the line that he says when he's in the police station. And he just is leaving. And he's like, just like, and the way he looks, it's almost like he's looking like through the glasses like an awkward guy. And he's like, you know why the human eye can see more shades of green than any other color? Predators. Yeah. He doesn't, you think about that when you figure it out, you'll know the answer.
Starting point is 01:22:38 And he just leaves. He just turns around and leaves. And it's like, he's so, it's so perfect. I love that kind of bad guy so much more than like an over-the-top you remind me of isaac sosa yeah because he's he's just eccentric and weird and there's something off-putting about him just the way that he talks you can always tell like this guy is half a beat away from either like starting to sing a song or stabbing me, or I don't know what direction he could move in in the next half a second, you know? I think your boy is slow.
Starting point is 01:23:09 Yeah. I think your boy is slow. That was perfect. That was good. Something wrong with him. Yeah, I really enjoyed that. Pull your hair down. You'll have it perfect.
Starting point is 01:23:21 You look just like him. That's all that melissa could talk about when we first watched that series and she's like i can't stop thinking about how with that his hair like that it looks exactly like kyle when he used to do his hair like like your boy is slow yeah yeah that's that's a great show i i love that i i i wish there were more shows like that and it reminded me of true detective season one have you seen that yeah um i don't think woody cares for it so much but i love it at all i thought season one excellent season two
Starting point is 01:23:58 i didn't i got three episodes no maybe two and a half into two but season one was good i liked it why did you care for it, Woody? Again, you know, the only thing I don't fuss about with these slow-paced things in pacing is Bone Tomahawk and one of the other Westerns. Revenant? The one that's not the Revenant. Hateful Eight.
Starting point is 01:24:22 Hateful Eight I thought was a little slow-paced, and so was Bone Tomahawk and I like those. But a lot of times when the pacing doesn't move along like I'd like it to, like in True Detective season one and I hear two is worse, I hold that against it. Like give me a little something. Advance the plot. Do a thing.
Starting point is 01:24:39 I felt like they were giving you something every episode. And by the way, that scene where Alexandria Daddario gets naked with Woody Harrelson, that is a perfect woman. I like the Alexandria Daddario a lot. She is all over the internet, super naked. But that scene in particular, you see everything. And everything on this woman is fucking perfect. She's beautiful.
Starting point is 01:25:02 She's got these gigantic, sexy blue eyes. She's got perfect lips. Huge. I was on the edge of my seat to figure out what was gigantic. I was like, is he a big areola guy? Is he? Would she be allowed on Australian television down there? I would leave
Starting point is 01:25:19 Australia if they didn't let her on television. Let me show you. She's beautiful. But yeah, I liked that season a lot. Oh, you sent it to him privately? No, I didn't send it to anybody. I'm just getting it together. Okay, okay. I thought it was a copy-paste thing.
Starting point is 01:25:41 Yeah, yeah. Beautiful lady. I know. He started his url with hvvvvg oh that must have already been in the in the box yeah there you go yeah pretty lady oh this is an imdb link i was expecting to see a gif dudes or something i was gonna bother you how the side of her face looks a little bit like the Novocaine hasn't worn off yet? That's not nice. Like if she drank out of a straw, it kind of just
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Starting point is 01:27:11 see any game or show go to score big first and see how much you can save for the easiest way to save on tickets download the new score big app for your iphone enter promo code pka at checkout and you'll save an extra twenty dollars for your first ticket off your first ticket purchase no iphone no problem get twenty dollars off online too at scorebig.com. That's scorebig.com, promo code PKA. scorebig.com, promo code PKA. When I was a kid, there was a movie theater just outside town
Starting point is 01:27:35 that sold their movies cheap. It was like $1.50 to get in, which in today's dollars is like $2.50. And the movies all sucked. But I loved them because they were $2.50 and I had a different set of standards. I think I could go to a Canes game and watch them lose and still love it with scorebig.com.
Starting point is 01:27:53 Because if the prices are lower, you just enjoy your event a little better. There's no expectation. Don't show that one to the screen. You have no expectations in that team anyway and you have no expectation for the prices. So you just show up. You just pick your game. You wait until the team that one to the screen. You have no expectations in that team anyway, and you have no expectation for the prices. So you just show up. You just pick your game.
Starting point is 01:28:07 You wait until the team that you like is there. Scorebig.com, that's a really cool thing. I'm going to definitely use them to try and get some playoff tickets. That would be pretty sweet. Yeah, Chiz told me to pick something out on there. I've been looking around for something I want to go to. Braves games, right? Probably so. I would also like to go to
Starting point is 01:28:28 a comedy show or if there's some theater tickets I'd like to do that too. I like going to the theater. I don't do it very often but I've been to two or three different things and I always like it. How many Braves games do you go to a year? Braves games? Not that many. Three or four. See it's like a two hour drive
Starting point is 01:28:43 for me and then traffic is a motherfucker because i don't live there yeah just like it's an all-day thing if i want to go you know you got to get there and then get there like an hour early to to account for all the traffic and like the the hell that is getting in the stadium parking sometimes feels like you're you're in the jungle like i don't know who these people are. I'm just like, I give you 20 bucks and I'm okay. He's like, yeah, yeah. I guess. And I'm like, wait a fucking minute.
Starting point is 01:29:10 Maybe I asked the wrong question. Who are you? You know, you go that side of Atlanta. I'll be 20 bucks. I'll be whoever you want me to be. Exactly. Exactly. I'll be Leroy, Parnell, whoever, whatever.
Starting point is 01:29:22 I'm the owner of this parking garage, goddammit. Do you get to hockey games early? Do Taylor, do you get to hockey games early? Do what? Do you get to hockey games early? Dude, when I go to a hockey game, and maybe it's easier at a Canes game. I really haven't been to a lot of places. But we can stand behind the goals when they warm up and the players shoot the puck at you. It is an amazing experience.
Starting point is 01:29:48 at you it is an amazing experience i i their wrist shots like they do these effortless wrist shots that are as fast as my slap shot and it's nothing to them and those will sit there and you know your face is like four inches off the glass they will hit you in the nose at mock one with the hockey puck and it's just like bam like it hits you hard it's like being the fish having your glass tapped you're just behind like wow and then it's just like so they're warming up right the same thing happens during games where Kyle I'm sure you've seen gifts of this where people put their like beer on the the edge near the glass and then there will be like a big hit and the glass gives a little bit so people aren't dying and it'll just knock
Starting point is 01:30:30 all the beer into everybody's lap if they're a retard and just i saw a guy get hit i saw a guy get hit with a puck in one of the games that i went to it was the bruins and thrashers in atlanta and the puck went there's nets out there to them, but somehow this didn't get caught in that net and beamed a guy. I saw him at a game, I think, earlier this year that I went to at a Blues game. I didn't know what a puck was like, having never played the game. I may have never picked up a hockey stick in my life, but I had definitely never picked up a hockey puck. But when my friend had one from the game that he had gotten at some point,
Starting point is 01:31:05 it was signed by Kovalchuk or some bullshit. But anyway, I was like, holy fuck. This thing is heavy and dense, and I bet, I think they freeze them, right? They do. So it's hard as a rock. It's so hard. That's a real piece of sports equipment right there. People who don't know hockey at all, they store the pucks on ice, even in beer leagues, so that they bounce less.
Starting point is 01:31:28 If the puck is just rubber, it tends to bounce. It's there on the edge a lot. But when it's frozen, it wants to lay flat. So speaking of freezing things, Kitty is looking into some cryotherapy perhaps for her arthritis. And yeah, yeah. So what they do, they put you in this fucking chamber they put you in this just dry air chamber apparently so so it's not as bad but they lower it to like negative 270 something degrees and for like three minutes of exposure to this and whatever was fucking with
Starting point is 01:31:57 you is gonna seem like not a big deal and and she was saying she's a little scared to be in there by herself etc etc i was like fuck it I'll go to cryotherapy with you. Let's do this thing. So I'm going to go to cryotherapy with her, and I'm going to get in this tank. They say it's good for your skin. So I'm looking forward to a few of these treatments. I'm going to knock a few years off. It's going to be nice.
Starting point is 01:32:16 Dude, I wish I could. You're going to be looking 26 in no time. I wonder if an iPhone can survive cryotherapy. And how naked do you get? Do you wear boxers in it? She said something about that. You know, there's some sort of, you wear some stuff. There's some stuff you wear.
Starting point is 01:32:30 There's like a face thing, and I don't know. You're not naked at all. It's swimwear at the lowest, if that makes sense. I think you're in something. It's like something to keep you warm? No, I think it's just to keep your face from freezing off or something. I don't know. I don't fucking know anything about this shit.
Starting point is 01:32:50 Could your eyeballs freeze? Negative 270's cold. There's no way it's negative 270. I was like, I'm going to spit on you. She's like, ew, freeze for what gets to me. I was like, that's the point. That'll be hilarious. Wait, are you going to...
Starting point is 01:33:04 I thought it was a one-person booth like smaller than I don't like it well just open your mouth and and see if your saliva starts to freeze I thought about wetting my hair before I went in and seeing if I could like shatter some hair off or something I thought that would be I can't wait for
Starting point is 01:33:19 that to go wrong I'm sorry how cold can water get 32 degrees is that literally the coldest it can be like how cold it gets colder ok can be? Like how cold is really cold? No, it'll just be ice if it gets colder. Okay, okay. I guess how cold can ice get? Is there no limit on how cold ice can get? There's absolute zero, but that is... I think ice doesn't get colder than 32.
Starting point is 01:33:55 That's why in Florida, like when it's going to freeze over, they'll spray the oranges with water because it'll make an ice like shell around them and they'll only drop to 32 degrees rather than the negative 10 degrees that the air might be outside. So'll only drop to 32 degrees rather than the negative 10 degrees that the air might be outside so on the other side with the hot stuff ice only hits 212 you can modify it like if you put salt in it and stuff it'll get a little warmer but and i've experimented with this if you put a water bottle in a fire like let's say you have a half full
Starting point is 01:34:22 water bottle like the kind you drink from the top half of it will melt but the part with water in it doesn't melt even in the fire and coals uh because the water it evaporates rather than getting hotter than 212 and it'll just keep the um the plastic from melting until it evaporates out of it. Yeah. Negative 55 is as cold as water gets. Under normal atmospheric conditions, it freezes at 32. I would... Okay. That's what I was about to say.
Starting point is 01:34:52 That would also change the scenario you were talking about in the fire. Like, the atmospheric conditions, like the pressure, would definitely change things up and down. But I don't think so. Because water won't get higher than 212 because it will become steam.
Starting point is 01:35:04 Steam. But in, but in a pressure cooker. You know? Oh, I follow. As a matter of fact, in a radiator it goes over 212, which is like a pressure cooker. We should leave. Physics isn't our strong suit by any means. No, no, no. We need to forge a steam talk.
Starting point is 01:35:22 You want to forge ahead with our talk of physics? How did we get on this anyway? Where did this come from? Cryotherapy. You were talking about... Oh, yeah, the cryotherapy. We really should just look up cryotherapy and see what that's...
Starting point is 01:35:35 What is it supposed to... I don't understand. This seems like a crock of shit. Cryotherapy. Let's learn. So let me ask you this, Taylor. You know when athletes take an ice bath, is that a crock of shit?
Starting point is 01:35:49 No. I feel like this is so cold that it's like, aren't there diminishing returns once you get colder than an ice bath? It reduces inflammation. It's much shorter. An ice bath is meant to do that as well. Oh, I guess, how long are you spending
Starting point is 01:36:05 in this cryogenic chamber? One and a half to three minutes. Oh, so real quick. Because I guess you would die. I thought it was quicker. I thought it was like a blast. Like you go in there and like nine seconds later you've been cryo'd.
Starting point is 01:36:19 Three minutes will cool you off. Let's see. You're going to get the real leonardo dicaprio revenant experience in there it looks like a sauna like a stand-up like like i'm seeing one here that looks like a a little room here let me help yeah i'm at that same link um and i i don't know much about it but i saw an mma fighter do it like they whatever insider or something and it it was like this. It was a small room.
Starting point is 01:36:47 They went in there. You couldn't see what happened in there. And then they came out. And, you know, like you see a freezer open and all the fog drifts into the ground. That happened. And the fighter emerged from cryotherapy. That'll be fun. I'm looking forward to that.
Starting point is 01:37:00 When she mentioned it, I was like, yeah, I'm totally down. And she was worried about the whole thing. So I'm go do that that'll be cool yeah i i wonder if more athletes would i think it's expensive for it to be in your like regular thing like if you want to try it like you are that's one thing if it was like your post workout routine all of a sudden you're like you know 500 bucks a workout or something. I made that up. Yeah, I have no idea the cost. I know her insurance is covering the bulk of hers for sure. But I'm looking forward to seeing what that's all about. That'll be interesting.
Starting point is 01:37:35 Inflammation and all that stuff. That sounds good. Maybe I'll feel better. It looks more scientific than I thought it was going to be. Maybe it's because I'm reading it from their website. I'm putting a lot of trust in them. Were you imagining a Mr. Freeze scenario from the Batman movies? I was imagining them having you close your eyes and then a bunch of people with those fans that you can mist on people
Starting point is 01:37:55 just kind of move those around you. Get ready. It's going to get intense. It won't quite feel minus 100, but shh. Oh, wait. There's an answer here. In the cryo sauna, clients are protected with socks, gloves, and slippers. In the cryo chamber, I guess the smaller one, clients wear additional mouth and ear protection. Clothing worn during the treatment is minimal.
Starting point is 01:38:19 For women, clothing is optional. I'm sorry. For women, clothing is optional. While for men men genitals have to be covered with cotton underwear now to be honest that's for scientific reasons i was like sexist sexist but then i was like oh wait that's there's a good reason for that right like your nuts that could freeze off like it's an appendage that has issues. I actually – I was wondering if women who sometimes are – I feel like it's a moister, more exposed organ would have more to risk than guys
Starting point is 01:38:53 who to me it's a very closed organ like a hand. Like there would be stalactites and stuff when they're walking out of there. A vagina might just freeze shut or something like that. It sounds crazy, but we are talking about negative 270 here. Clam up. Clam up. Please. Right?
Starting point is 01:39:13 I want a big Austrian guy to come in with a big fucking backpack rig that looks like a flamethrower, but it's an ice machine. He's like, it's time to freeze. And then we're just like, holy fuck, is this really what it is? And he's like, just kidding. And they turn the machine on., fuck, is this really working? And he's like, just kidding. And they're like, they turn the machine on. I just, I don't know. I feel like, couldn't you just take an ice bath and see if that worked really well for her too? I think it's a completely different thing.
Starting point is 01:39:38 I don't know. I'm not saying this thing works or that there's anything scientific behind it. I'm not saying this thing works or that there's anything scientific behind it, but there's definitely a big difference between hitting the outside of your body with negative 250 Fahrenheit and getting in a 32-degree bath, which I feel like would lower your core temperature. I feel like what this thing is is more of like a shock to your exterior, I would think. She mentioned it being good for your skin, and I'm nice and vain and about to be 30, so why not you
Starting point is 01:40:05 know when do you think it would be possible to say that in this chamber may 9th may 9th yeah so do you think it would be possible to jack off in this chamber if it was like a day you considered that but i was afraid like what if my i'm going to use some lubrications i guess the oil if i use like some like that's gotta that doesn't have a freezing point so if i could keep it going fast enough to prevent any freezing I could blow some icy loads right right watch until it freezes like with a little bit left to go your urethra and it's just a kind of bootleg I think that wrapped up I'll strap on some me undies and that'll be uh that'll be all I need to keep everything in line I will spit spit in there, though, when nobody's
Starting point is 01:40:46 looking. I'm gonna do it. They can't stop me. They said that you had to wear cotton underwear. Maybe the Modal is too good, and it would keep you too warm to be effective. I would think just wear the cotton. Modal's too high quality. You wear it every day. That's 365 days a year, rain or shine. You need it to be
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Starting point is 01:41:44 when you use our URL, meundies.com. So click the link in the description or go to meundies.com to get 20% off your first order. One of my favorite sponsors that we have, I wear them as much as I can. I just filled out my order form to get some more. So now we'll have like four or five pair in the rotation. And once we get seven, then all the pieces are in play are you wearing one right now uh no i've got some hanes on right now they're scratchy itchy uh i've got i've got some kind
Starting point is 01:42:15 of a rash going on that you're sitting in ball soup down there too no moisture pulling away jungle down there a swamp people get some meies. Stop being a fucking peasant. They will present your junk like the royalty you are deserves to be presented. I'm wearing my MeUndies right now. They're actually – I honestly thought you were being just over the top, which is to be expected. You're, oh, this is the best fucking underwear. This is really good underwear. This is actually – I thought it was going to be just underwear you get in the mail.
Starting point is 01:42:45 This is really comfortable. It's's more like i don't know i don't feel like you know how when you get like haynes or calvin klein or something for like a week it's it's got that tight feeling on your thighs you know it stays in place when you pull your pants up it doesn't come in bunch all around your dick and balls and everything you know it stays way low on your thigh these ones i feel like are going to be like this for a while like it's still very taut you know yeah everything and it doesn't just it i thought that i was being framed correctly before by by being just kind of you know it was squeezing you against your body but no this this kind of gives you like a little like no nutsack what do you do all the way down there? Get off. You're off the lock. It's like a miracle bra for your cock.
Starting point is 01:43:30 It's like when you're sitting down and your balls want to do that thing that's uncomfortable, especially in summer months where they start sticking to your legs and they're lazy and hanging. It's like half an inch away from asshole country. It's so just hanging out there. Sometimes they go in. Sometimes it's going in. You know? Who's to say? You know, sometimes they'll be back there and It's so just hanging out there. Sometimes they go in. Sometimes it's going in. You know, who's to say? You know, sometimes they'll be back there,
Starting point is 01:43:48 and I'll just pop one in there. Just, you know, why not? Get out of the way. That's what I say. That's what I say, too. But anyway, it's really great underwear. It's going to happen one way or another. We all know that.
Starting point is 01:44:02 So might as well get it in there. Yeah. Are you wearing your MeUndies, Chiz? Always. Always. He's always wearing his MeUndies. He hasn't washed his yet. He's found that the Modal is not only twice as soft as cotton,
Starting point is 01:44:17 it's also a natural antibacterial, like honey. So he hasn't washed his since he's bought them. He's been wearing the same pair. It's sort of an experiment. And we're going to be auctioning off that pair of underwear at the end of the month. It's going to be big. And we did confirm
Starting point is 01:44:33 that Kyle's theory about it repelling poop is indeed correct because Chiz has had that problem. He's on the 100% food diet. Has been for months now. I really don't know if he's ever going to eat real food again. He's raving about that shit constantly. He talked
Starting point is 01:44:50 about having his jaw wired shut so that he wouldn't even be tempted anymore by solid food. Yeah, he's talking about... What is it? Three and a half months that you haven't... Hey, I got a question, Chiz. How much money would it take for you to get your jaw wired shut for a week?
Starting point is 01:45:08 Like legitimately, how much money would like some benefactor, the PKA fans have to come up? $2,000, he said. For a week? Would he have to show up on the show with his jaw wired shut? I think so. I think he'd have to be on the show for three weeks, right? It will not. No it first of all it will not be painless Chiz. Wait. It will not be. Getting your jaw wired shut is not painless? No. Well no not the way we're gonna do it. We're gonna be threading it into the gum tissue. You
Starting point is 01:45:35 gotta keep it on. In essence I feel like he'd be getting braces uh for a week. I don't know how it works but you know getting braces but it wouldn't braces for me and Kyle. I think it would be painless. I'll explain why. Stuts to his teeth and we'd wire them together. I've had braces before. And what hurts is the wire that shifts your teeth. If you just have like gluing the little
Starting point is 01:45:58 brace things on is completely painless. So they basically cement these things to your teeth. Then they'd wire top to bottom. And his mouth would be shut. And I figured he'd have to at least make an appearance on the show for three weeks to show a two-week span, right? Because if it was two shows, then that's just a one-week span, right? So it would have to be three shows to demonstrate that he had it on. Well, he needs to be on constant FaceTime.
Starting point is 01:46:20 You know, for $2,000 and considering the fact that we're going to have to pay the dentist, I would rather buy a hydraulic press and put that Finnish guy or whatever the fuck out of business. I got to say, that's also money. You just get a bigger press than this guy and you'll have yourself a YouTube channel. That's all you need.
Starting point is 01:46:36 And who knows, maybe Quable Cop hosts the channel, heavily crushing the drug cookies and they see their toes from there. Yeah, you would do a bunch of drugs and then you would... Taylor, would you actually do it like just all like throw the bullshit aside right if you were supplied with a hydraulic press would you be able to make it happen and like i say this as a guy i'm talking to a man who hasn't uploaded a gameplay video in three months all right like would you go and
Starting point is 01:47:02 source interesting things to crush and crush it and make a video? I feel like finding stuff to crush wouldn't be hard. But those ones we were looking at, those presses, I feel like you need a serious workshop to have something like that. You can't just like, oh, movers. When you put my couch there, just put my three-ton crushing press right next to it. And you probably need like, I don't know, some sort of three-phase, four-phase power or something. What does the thing run on? Probably a three-phase car, but you could definitely get an adapter for it.
Starting point is 01:47:35 It's not called an adapter. A converter, maybe? I forget. But you've seen the three-phase to one-phase or single-phase converters before. You'd need that, too. I would crush stuff on my own time like if i had that it wouldn't just be like a video it would be like oh i'm going to like fucking mcdonald's and i'm gonna ask for all the old fries and just like just see like how much oil are we gonna crush
Starting point is 01:47:56 out of this what's it gonna be it'd be neat and crushing stuff that's way more interesting than what that other dude is you know yeah some of his stuff is not interesting. Bones? He crushed a Lego car. That's not a good one. And then afterwards, unsurprisingly, it flattened.
Starting point is 01:48:16 And the press seemed to win this fight as well. Against a little car. I would take this pistol that's fucking loaded and lay it in there like that and crush it. Like, that's what should be getting crushed. Some shit like that.
Starting point is 01:48:33 No, that's... Yes! It'd be exploding. That's just gonna be sad. Bullets. Yeah, I mean... It might explode, yeah, right? When the striker's in the back and they pop, perhaps? Yeah, it's gonna get smushed and compressed, and the primers are going to go off, and there's going to be small explosions,
Starting point is 01:48:49 and I don't know exactly what's going to happen. Well, that can be one of our collab videos. Ah, yes. When we're collabing in FPS Russia and Crusher Man. Sure. I want to collab with you, too. I'll bring a dead mouse. Hang on. No, I wouldn't want a mouse. It's too little.
Starting point is 01:49:08 Okay, a dead cat. You drive a hard bargain. People are too attached to cats. Maybe like a dead rabbit. Like a hair. Not a cute rabbit, an ugly one. The kind that you would eat, generally. Or hunt. You could get
Starting point is 01:49:24 youtube.com the crusher. The crusher. Yeah, that's who you would be. You would be the crusher, and you would put googly eyes and face paint and stuff on your crushing machine, and it would have a personality. It would be a character itself.
Starting point is 01:49:39 What would his name be? Does anyone have a building that you could use? Do your parents have a... Well, you're too far, right? I also have space for a crusher. Compute! Right? But, like, does your dad have a spot in his garage for a 7-ton crusher?
Starting point is 01:49:53 Or a 100-ton crusher, I guess it'd have to be. 150-ton? I don't know. I'd have to find, like, storage or something that I could keep it and do it from. Because I do not feel comfortable going to anyone in my life and being like, do it from because I do not feel comfortable going to anyone in my life and being like hey on a wild idea me and some friends both nine thousand dollar hundred ton crushing press and I need where your car usually is for it and it's on the way here now and thank you so much like what would I even do all right by the way can I unplug the dryer yeah can I unplug the dryer
Starting point is 01:50:21 and the washer and if you could just shut shut off everything in the basement while I'm here, that would be... I've got some guys in the back already wiring up a few things for me. They're going to climb your light pole. Don't mind them. They are illegal, so... It's not just what we're doing. You're going to be without power for about two, maybe three days.
Starting point is 01:50:40 A blast cage, Taylor? Oh, you're going to want the blast cage. Yeah, what would be the first thing I should crush? I'm trying to think of what would just humiliate that guy crushing Legos and not... I'm sure he's a nice guy, but he needs to step up his game if he's gonna compete in this fast-paced market of hydraulic products. I would crush lithium batteries. You crush lithium batteries, you crush propane tanks, you crush things that react and explode when you crush them, you crush things that shoot ooze out that you wouldn't expect when you crush them.
Starting point is 01:51:06 Things like a whole big thing of ink pens. What if you crushed like a hundred pack of ink pens and that black ooze went everywhere? Crush fleshy things that are alive, like a whole fucking turkey. You could crush, like you said, bones and see the marrow and the liquid that comes out of bones even after a while. bones and see the marrow and the liquid that comes out of bones even after you know a while and the gig at the like a little bit at the end where his wife or girlfriend or whatever makes that little play-doh thing we would totally one-up that every single time it would be well not dog shit because i i have to keep using the press you gotta i don't want to do that yeah maybe like just a big vulgar like middle finger made out of like ballistics gel or
Starting point is 01:51:47 i feel like dildos won't get you that far because you're gonna get flagged and it's also as soon as it gets crushed it's just gonna be like every other rubber slash plastic thing you know and you couldn't even stand it up like that because it's gonna hit and then be like bow out and then just spring away. You need a whole variety. You need a special press, right? So I imagine this thing can do a couple things. They're the press in my imagination.
Starting point is 01:52:12 So it's got a big sandwich-style squisher, right, with some big square plates, let's say a foot and a half by a foot and a half square. And those can, like, sandwich crush anything. But maybe there's a thing you can bolt on there that's like a cylinder that's hollow and and there's a there's a punch that'll go into that cylinder to ultra crush things you know like and you could fill it up with anything and really compress it like that's a good and then you could make me a gun that could fire whatever crushed projectile thing we did i throw a bunch of shit in. Let's see what it'll fire out of the FPS cannon. You could grind up numerous items in a grinder and then compress them into bullets and fire them. Because you know Smarties, candies,
Starting point is 01:52:55 those are just compressed sugar. They use a really high tonnage press to make those. It's just k-kunk, k-kunk, k-kunk, making those things. So you make a bullet. What's great is that Yeah, we could have like a once a week or once a day job of crushing like bullets and guns and stuff And then that same crush would make Smarties as a you know side full-time job. That's my weekend gig Made Smarties old-time Big they sell it by this Handmade Smarties. Old time. Right. I would buy that. It smells slightly of dead hair. If you make Smarties the size of a hockey puck,
Starting point is 01:53:29 that'd be cool. That would be cool. What else could be crushed that that guy has not even thought about yet? Alright, so you gotta think about things that maybe aren't illegal for whatever kind of pussy country he's from. Finland.
Starting point is 01:53:45 So anything firearm related? Yeah. Bullets I think would be cool. Just take a whole handful of bullets and throw them in there. Just see what would happen. Primers are cool. They snap, crackle, and pop. I don't know. Let's think.
Starting point is 01:54:00 I think compressed air cylinders. Like CO2 cartridges? Ooh, what would those do? Those would be kind of violent, volatile. Maybe a compressed air tank, like a paintball one. You know, that fiberglass woven tank. Put 4,500 PSI in that motherfucker and compress it until it ruptures. That'd be neat.
Starting point is 01:54:19 That would be. I keep coming back to the living room. What if we compress diesel until it just spontaneously explodes? Because that's how it works anyway. I don't think you... That's great. You just need a container. Maybe you'd use a cylinder. That cylinder thing I was talking about.
Starting point is 01:54:34 I didn't know you could compress diesel to make it explode. That's how it works. There's no spark or anything. It just compresses in the cylinder until boom. Ah, that's interesting. Huh. Well, I didn't know that. So yeah, I think it would be really cool. You know, I wish one of you would do it.
Starting point is 01:54:53 I love to come up with these ideas for this thing, but I'm going to tell you right now, I don't want to take on the project of being the crusher. I could do that so easily. I feel like the stable is going to be done by this weekend. I've got you know all the pack and wire it up I got room in there. I have You should be the country means I would love to be the crusher and but it You don't you wouldn't even have to be a character to make people watch that as long as you were crushing badass stuff
Starting point is 01:55:20 I want characters better come to the crash. Oh Yeah, how many times... That's... People are just gonna get so pissed and be like, oh, that nice Finnish guy, and now this dick is up here with a bigger crusher making fun of him. You can go full America. Go America with it. Just, just red, white, and blue everything.
Starting point is 01:55:38 Oh. I saw there was some... Crushed politicians. I saw there was a Finnish crusher out there with some 7500 ton press. Pussy shit! Welcome to Raikato. I saw there was a Finnish crusher out there with some 7500 ton press. PUSSY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Kyle for commentary. You do the voiceover and we'll have a thing. Okay. That would be hilarious. I think you've got the cameras that would be perfect for this
Starting point is 01:56:12 because your high-speed camera, like the MP700, would be great running at like 250 frames. You don't even have to do anything crazy. You could still maintain a beautiful picture. But just a little slower and sharper. Oh, man, it would look great. This guy's a fucking amateur out there, killing it killing it on he doesn't know who he's fucking with rape squad killers are on the case I'm just saying you just need a bigger
Starting point is 01:56:33 press than he's got that's all he's got that's all that he's got in all of his videos it's the exact same thing it's just him picking up whatever it was and just being like well it looks like the brass has won this fight again. And then that's it. Start a war with him right away. You cannot be this guy's friend. You're not a comrade in any way. You're the enemy of his channel. That has to be part of your thing.
Starting point is 01:56:55 So when he crushes something, you crush ten of them. Be like, there's a guy out there crushing hockey pucks. Fuck that shit! We got a hundred hockey pucks! And stack them on top of each other. I put sixty hockey pucks in a hockey we got a hundred hockey pucks and like stack them just you know 60 hockey pucks in a hockey helmet in a dead goat you know exactly you know what that would be cool we take like the epic kill time crushes if you take like deer limbs if you go hunting like the limb you're not going to eat it anyway just to see what what the fuck it would do i'm curious if it would just be like a weird papery
Starting point is 01:57:23 like membrane that was holding it together like nunchucks or if it would totally split. So I know where for $150 you can get a goat carcass. It's the whole goat. It's butchered. It's gutted and everything. I've used targets before. I've shot them with that RIP self-defense
Starting point is 01:57:40 ammo, rapidly invasive projectile or some shit. It doesn't seem to do it with a flash. Goat seemed like a good stand-in. You could crush a whole fucking goat if you had the right press. You could do some hardcore shit. Yeah. I mean, you just get
Starting point is 01:57:56 a pressure washer and hose it down afterwards. Can you imagine how much liquid that would be? It would just liquefy that whole goat. So it would just be a goat's worth of pulp and nastiness. We'd sell the pulp. He has a 100 ton press, right? He's got a bitch
Starting point is 01:58:12 press is what he's got. I need to know because I need to know what's more. I saw a... I'm on eBay right now surfing with the viewers and for $5,500 here's an air hydraulic shot press 100 ton dude i've got the air compressor and the power to do this thing 4500 right what's stopping me here's another one for 4900 it's 100
Starting point is 01:58:36 ton automotive press it looks badass here i'll give you a link how are these looking compared to his press well You can tell me. I got a piece super bad, so I'm going to go do that. I want more. I'm really interested in press talk, and I want this to happen. So that press you've got there, we had something similar to that in our shop, and it's just a really small work piece. I think that's what you call it, the thing that does the work, like the puncher. You might be able to swap that out for something else.
Starting point is 01:59:04 But you're right. Now, there's shop. You need a very girthy press. You might be able to swap that out for something else. But you're right. You need a very girthy presser. I'll be back. I think this is a great idea and I would love to crush shit. I think the budget needs to stop. If we're being honest about it, we can talk crap all
Starting point is 01:59:19 we want in $18,000 prices, but it's not an $18,000 idea to me. But if we were to say five grand, especially if there was any viewer help, we can make this a thing. We? We got viewer help. It would be way bigger than that
Starting point is 01:59:36 one, I bet. Well, I don't know. It's no boot camp idea. Well, I don't know. I think that would be really fun there's so much ground to cover in that because it's not you can't ever run out of shit you know oh oh damn we already crushed uh you know volleyball full of whatever the hell you know oh now we'll just do four of
Starting point is 02:00:00 them like there's yeah see so infinite possibilities here's 150 ton press but at $13,000 $13,000 is a big investment for me to stick this in my stable that press makes his press look like a bitch though does it here's a $40,000 press that's too much I I kind of want it unless the viewers are going to help a ton, I kind of want to stop this press thing at like five grand-ish. That's, ooh, here's a 150-ton air hydraulic press for $5,500. Ooh. We're getting close here.
Starting point is 02:00:42 Let's see what it looks like. I don't know. That one's too little. See the Dake Model 8 170 hydraulic press? The green one? The picture in there. That gap between the top and the bottom there
Starting point is 02:00:56 where you put stuff, that's four feet. That's $13,000 press. Yeah, I'm just saying the difference between what these things are. You could crush that press with the000 press. Yeah, I'm just saying the difference between what these things are. You could crush that press with the top press. Probably. I don't know.
Starting point is 02:01:11 Whatever it had to be. We had to figure out what make and model that bastard's got running over there. I like how we're talking about it like we actually dislike this guy who's just a friendly dude from Finland crushing things. I like to think he's not a real person i mean he's not even american he's finished here's a thousand ton one for a hundred thousand dollars you see like
Starting point is 02:01:32 oh my god i'm trying to be serious about this thing wow you should see it it's like as tall as three humans link it okay Link it. Okay. Copy link address. That thing is huge. But I'm not going to put $100,000 into this. Yeah, my God.
Starting point is 02:01:58 That's too much. Also, I don't think my ceiling is high enough. I think it needs to be no more than like 14 or 16 feet tall. If it gets higher than that, I think it'll hit my roof. Maybe even less. It might be 12-foot ceilings. You definitely don't want that one in your home. That's like something that would be at like a smelting plant or something like that it looks like.
Starting point is 02:02:20 I don't even know what you would use that for. An entire goat's head. Like the head but maybe without the skin just but the eyeballs would still be there and slowly squish that motherfucker and you add sound effects in post for it begging for its life i wish i had 20 grand budget for this because here's a 200 ton press that would really do the job like i feel like this thing would would make all their presses sissy presses and you know you should see my stable right now we've cleaned out everything because we're getting ready for the concrete floor it looks so big i'll tell you what i'll do
Starting point is 02:02:58 um well i don't know if this is a big offer or anything but i know how difficult it can be to film by yourself and this seems like the kind of project that lends itself to doing lots of videos in batches so i'd be happy to drive up there and spend any any amount of time really uh you know a weekend or a four-day weekend or two weeks i don't fucking care whatever it took and film batches of videos with you helping in whatever way uh and then a batch schedule upload. Like imagine if it was so predictable. Like every Wednesday at 2.30 p.m.
Starting point is 02:03:30 Shit, do one a day. Yeah, every Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Do it. People love regular content. Well, damn it. Now Woody's going to get to be the crusher guy. Because he's got a bunch of money and a big enough house to put a crusher in. You can come.
Starting point is 02:03:44 There's no reason we all can't be there and doing voices and stuff and having a good time. I don't know. We could do something silly with this. It could be fun. It could be like our little group channel or something. That's a really good idea. I mean, come on.
Starting point is 02:03:59 All three of us, we can't lose to this Finnish guy. Yeah, he's only fucking Finnish. He's not even American american that's a country if you told me to list 10 countries i wouldn't even cross my mind to think about naming finland that would be like number 20 i'm like halfway through south america and then i'm like oh fuck those guys up there with within the cold well i think this would be really cool. We could put some Patreon money into that or something, I guess. Or if you want to make it your own thing,
Starting point is 02:04:31 you know, I don't know what we want to do here. But in any case, whatever we do, I would be happily involved with it in any capacity that I might be wanted to. I would love to just spend hours crushing stuff. Yeah, I want to come and crush stuff with you that's what i'm saying um i also want to do some videos with taylor we've been talking about doing like some age
Starting point is 02:04:52 of mythology videos uh we definitely have to do that that would be really fun and just to give some tips maybe and yeah because i think if we do like a tip video and show like i don't know however many thousands of people who watch it what's up and like what aom is uh like you know maybe 50 or 100 of them will come and buy the 35 game and come play with us because you know the more the merrier it's a lot more fun being up on people than it is on ai or maybe you know that you'll you'll beat us we're not and people are getting better they're definitely getting there's a couple people for sure that just a week cliff you're getting much better who else is who else who's getting much better um that you are seven guy um he's getting better um shit i wish i could remember more of their names but we play with a really small group
Starting point is 02:05:38 of guys probably three or four nights a week um and and they are improving they because because we were just kicking the shit out of them for a while and now they're they watched they all watched the same four minute and 30 second aranis uh video that kyle watched and now all those fuckers are doing that strategy god that that press is fucking cool imagine like imagine if you had the press inside of a small booth to get paint booth with white walls semi-realistic on this thing i could build a booth but this thing's not so crazy that it couldn't be real yeah but this is almost like a go big or go home kind of thing you don't think a hundred blow him out of the water with your press. Alright, alright. Let's
Starting point is 02:06:26 I guarantee his press is bigger than that. You do? I was gonna look. Yeah. 33 inches of movement of carriage up and down. Six height adjustments of five and a half inch increments. Ram cylinder capable of
Starting point is 02:06:42 shifting. Not quite sure what to make of that electric powered hydraulic cylinder for heavy pressing for heavy duty pressing what do we know about this press of his see he crushed a rubber ducky a rubber ducky it's not that i have some love for rubber duckies it's that like you know what happens when you crush a lithium battery it explodes into fire look i'm showing everyone what happens now when you crush a rubber ducky, and the answer is very little. Dude, this is 110 volts.
Starting point is 02:07:12 You can plug this one in next to your sink. The one I linked? Yeah. That's 110 volts. Yeah, just to get that last bit of toothpaste. That would be one of the things you did. Yeah. That would be a funny video.
Starting point is 02:07:27 He's got a wildly successful channel, but it's really unremarkable, this rubber ducky smushing here. How much does it cost to press one thing? The answer is, how many things are you going to press this year? Do you think that this would get a good amount of views? Yeah. I think it would as well. I think his thing is getting views, and I feel like it's easy to outdo him because we're in America and we have some of the most liberal laws in the world as far as our freedoms and the things that we can do and get our hands on. You can order any number of chemical compounds off the internet that are pressure sensitive and would explode or
Starting point is 02:08:05 do things that are cool I got a chemist on tap that we could ask about that at any time and you know crushing a loaded gun would be funny I would love to do that I just feel like and there are guns that are cheap enough to crush
Starting point is 02:08:21 I can't think of that, there's really cheap pistols, they don't even make them out of that. There's really cheap pistols. They don't even make them out of real steel. It's like pot metal. He has a 100-ton press. So that's our baseline. I don't think you can say that. We need to be able to say twice as good as that fin fuck.
Starting point is 02:08:38 Okay, the thing is, it appears that a 200-percent... First of all, I haven't seen a single 200. I've seen some 150s. The 150s are like $18,000 to $85,000. A 200-ton press, if it exists, here's a 200-ton press. It's, I'll link it. It's $60,000, and it looks like it's 30 feet wide. Christ almighty.
Starting point is 02:09:04 50 tons, or 150 tons is probably fine then. Here's 120. Oh my god. It made it look just like a tanning booth. That's so dangerous. Yeah. I thought I was going to get a nice tan.
Starting point is 02:09:19 It ended up a pancake. It ended up dead. Imagine the split second of horror if you were in that thing like as it came down and like oh no and then you just start exploding everywhere i am like it'd be like i bet there'd be like a tenth a millionth of a second where you knew like you could feel your head exploding and you could still think and then it would just be dress could we dress the press up like a very stereotypical Mexican man with a sombrero and a large mustache and call him Señor Crashing Steam? I thought that went without saying. We could crush bobbleheads of people that – you know, crush a Hillary Clinton bobblehead, a Trump bobblehead.
Starting point is 02:10:02 We could crush things that aren't meant to be crushed. Oh, a cue ball. I don't know if he's done that yet, but like a billiard ball. I had that same thing in my head, too. That'll just crack. Coconut. Maybe he's done that. Yeah, come on.
Starting point is 02:10:19 Coconut, you think? Okay. Watermelons, coconuts. Any number of skulls, like animal skulls i feel like he would be afraid to even do that but put a fucking deer skull in there dude why not it's crushed that shit right i have a challenge thing kyle where it's like you get a certain amount of objects and your challenge is you have to make an object that will be taller than x amount after crushed so you have to like make a little make something that has to try and survive. And of course,
Starting point is 02:10:46 that never fucking works, because you're not going to outthink 150 tons coming down on it. You could get some tooling together. There's something you could put in there, but it would probably hurt the press. See, there's a thing. Yeah. There's a lot of stuff we could do with that. I think it would be very fun. Yeah, we're still on presses, you little
Starting point is 02:11:02 bitch. Fuck you, Chiz. Where have you been watching bernie sanders you cuck see yeah that cuck over there thinks the press talk is going over too long what he doesn't know is i might make a bid on one of these things during the show to turn this fucking senseless talk that i was 100 sure wouldn't happen into something that might actually flipping happen. I don't know why I didn't curse that one time. I would love to buy a crusher. Just even if
Starting point is 02:11:31 not for a YouTube channel. Just to have it. Just to see. Trying to crush paper would be hard I bet if you just laid a bunch of paper down. The myth you can't fold paper 7 or 8 times or whatever. I guess it's not a myth. It's a fact. He folded it a bunch of times down. He folded, you know, the myth you can't fold paper seven or eight times or whatever. I guess it's not a myth, it's a fact.
Starting point is 02:11:46 He folded it a bunch of times and when he finally... Yeah, the seven times thing, that was really neat. I was thinking more like, you know, when you just open a bunch of printer paper and it's like a whole ream of paper, I wonder what would happen.
Starting point is 02:12:00 Like if it would actually compress or... Because it's basically wood, right? You should crush books. Yeah, you crush some books. You know, get Mein Kampf over there and smush it. Crush the Bible, crush the Quran. Let's not do that.
Starting point is 02:12:14 Let's not do that. That would be funny if you crush the Quran. You're like, now we're going to crush the Bible. But you put like a fake Bible in there that wouldn't crush. You're like, it's a miracle! That'd be a good viral video. Or just go through and, you know, finally it's Scientology. Who it won't crush, and you're like, it's a miracle! That'd be a good viral video. Or just go through and, you know, it's Scientology, who it won't crush.
Starting point is 02:12:30 Oh, yeah. Points is cool. Crushing anything with a battery in it, like cell phones and stuff, those batteries explode, and they'll be cool. We could crush all the Call of Duties together.
Starting point is 02:12:51 Everything would be cool. could crush all the call of duties together uh everything that was almost a problem for me have i ever told you that that that whenever the yeah i was doing the call of duty commercial they had it was a problem um you know i'd already like agreed to be in the commercial and we'd already agreed to everything i was in it and it was a done deal and then they were like oh um we might not want him in anymore it seems we found this call of duty hate video that he made and i was like what the fuck what call do you hate video and it was that video of me destroying modern warfare 2 and uh it was only after kitty showed them screenshots of my call of duty 4 um record you know how much play time i have that they then re-agreed to let me uh be in the commercial because they they thought that i was some hater that didn't even play the game and
Starting point is 02:13:30 i was like look i have spent hundreds of days playing your game i love it so much like uh you know that i'll take that video down i don't fucking care um but but yeah they were not happy with that. They called it a Call of Duty 8 video. Well, the Crusher thing. I'm excited about it. It's going to be the Crusher, Woody. Are we going to get Crusher t-shirts? Crusher, Crusher. We need theme music. Dude, we all come live in Woody's guest house and be the Crusher.
Starting point is 02:14:00 I imagine you need, as it's crushing, as it's coming, you music and, like, the music's getting more pumped up and more hyped up and it's like, CRUSHER! CRUSHER! CRUSHER! A-WOOOOOO! CRUSHER! CRUSHER! Like, as it's finally- No, it's gonna be, it's gonna be that, uh, oh my god, third Battle of Minas Tirith reference tonight when all the orcs are chanting for Grand the Battery Ram at the front. Grand! Grand!
Starting point is 02:14:30 That's what it's going to be. Grash! Grash! Yeah. Oh. I like that. I'm linked. I think that we're making this show so specific. It's going to be me and you watching it. Watching our own content. Talking about how just beating each other off of just, oh, look how good this Lord of the Rings reference is. Do you think
Starting point is 02:14:46 five was too many in the six minutes? No, I think they're loving it. We disabled comments, but whatever. That'd be funny. What do we do for shipping in here? Here's one from Minnesota. So they've got to send it basically on a
Starting point is 02:15:03 tractor trailer and then you've got to unload it basically on a, um, you know, a tractor trailer, and then you've got to unload it at your place with a forklift. Um, I can handle it once it gets here. I'm sure. How much does it weigh? Cause it's a good question.
Starting point is 02:15:18 What if these are shitty presses? I actually can't lift that. All right. You can't do that. All right. So my dad lifted a 4,500-pound thing out of a tractor trailer with his tractor, but still it was like,
Starting point is 02:15:30 all right, let's slowly lower it to the ground because I know if he were to drop it and then stop, it would have tipped the tractor over with the forks on the front. Yeah, you don't have what it takes to unload that. I don't think I do. How much does a... I can lift about 15 pieces of plywood.
Starting point is 02:15:45 How much does plywood weigh? What? I'd say that's probably like tens of thousands of pieces of wood. Yeah. It weighs 6,000 pounds. It'd be like
Starting point is 02:15:56 450 pieces of wood or something. Yeah, it'd be a lot. Yeah, I'd say a one-inch plywood would be 100 pounds. It's heavy. It's a fucking load.
Starting point is 02:16:03 70 pounds. This is like a piece of shit that just weighs 100 tons. And this is pressure-treated so it's heavy so 70 pounds this is like a piece and this is pressure treated so it's wetter but even if we do 75 pounds uh 15 times 75 i promise you don't have what it takes 11 yeah 6 000 i'm not even close it'll probably come on a pallet um and meant to forklift now some of those trucks and i think maybe you can pay extra to have this will come with a forklift attached to the back of the truck, and it lowers itself down, and then they unload. You would need that. Shipping like that? No, that doesn't work. The bottom of the U-Haul is rated lower than what this thing is. I've been through this.
Starting point is 02:16:41 But that shipping is cheaper than you might think it is getting it to you would probably cost $400 or $500 I know that's not a small amount of money by any means but you are moving something that's 6,000 pounds across the country and having it placed in place so this one's a realistic purchase
Starting point is 02:16:58 just saying so are these new? are they used? this particular one's new I don't know why it's less expensive but it looks like a pretty serious machine i think craigslist might be might be worth digging into for a little while because like what if we can find a three-year-old version of this that's been working in a machine shop like i mean it's a hydraulic press that's not really i feel like it's got life you know what i mean it's not like it's not like you're using that that constantly. Yeah, it's not like an engine or gears that can get stripped out or anything like that. As far as I know, everything is like over-lubricated by nature.
Starting point is 02:17:33 There just happens to be a 500-ton hydraulic press near me. How much? It doesn't have a price. I can just imagine. Here's what you would do in your in your first video you would have you would have you would steal uh borrow clip uh a little clip from his show where he's like yeah it's now he's 100 tons and then and then you would hear like my voice come come in 500 tons and then the music and like a montage of just awful things being
Starting point is 02:18:10 crushed like I think you should do it in your Saruman voice too yes yeah like like Saruman would be the intro voice for this thing totally yeah a hard time I think that's a five gallon pail in like the lower left corner for scale this thing must I know what how much force would it take to crush a cue ball tens of thousands of pounds but my lord, there is no such force. And he opens the door to Woody's shop. And you see the thing crushing.
Starting point is 02:18:52 Like, that's it right there. And you hear the horns blowing as marching to war sounds. Or just ruin it entirely with the, hello. Just ruin it entirely with the, Hello! Hello! I'm entirely too hyped for this crusher idea. I hope we do it. I hope you do it.
Starting point is 02:19:12 I hope we can find a feasible way to get it done. I would love to be involved in this. This is such a cool piece of equipment. I don't know why. I don't think it's just me. I think everybody's interested in just seeing how shit like this is like even the bowling pin where you're not you're not mystified you're not like wow it's we just would in there like but satisfy how it gets it like see what gives and how because it doesn't work the way you imagine you always imagine that it would
Starting point is 02:19:38 just kind of like crush some and then just shoot it out of there but there's so much pressure i don't know that's really really yeah i'm excited about that the prospect of doing this i i don't know i i feel like i come up with a lot of cool things to crush i saw that was 10 feet 225 tons i'm like so perfect right and it's in virginia but it the listing is gone huh well i think we should keep looking on Craigslist and stuff and maybe we could find like a steal or some sort of enormous crushing machine that blows our minds. Or someone out there. Does your dad work in the crushing
Starting point is 02:20:14 industry? Is he a crusher? Senior crush manager or something? Like, let us know. I love senior crush manager. This is going to be gone. What else could we... Well, I like this idea a lot. We'll move forward with this and see if something can be made of it.
Starting point is 02:20:30 Because I think it'll be very fun. I don't know how much of our audience is really interested in us becoming crushers. I found one. I'm like, ooh, a 100-ton Eagle hydraulic press. It weighs 57,000 pounds. 10,000. press it weighs 57 000 pounds that weighs more almost than that other guy's bitch press right or no he's got a hundred ton press no oh i see what you're saying yeah it weighs more than he can crush yeah he's got not quite but that would be funny his like his press couldn't even lift ours no no his his press
Starting point is 02:21:07 is that has to be like a minute long segment every time is just making fun of his press our recently this week on the crushing channel and then show some lame rubber ducky he crashed a duck guess what we're crushing a real duck and the duck's like looking terrified and then we cut to our intro music no no what we do is our intro music is like like really intense and
Starting point is 02:21:34 his is just horseshit awful like that bumbling music when someone's like tripping around in a cartoon like just fucking with this awful duck I want to do this so badly me too just to ruin this Finman's dream I feel like Colin would get involved in this too I can just imagine Colin really enjoying a crushing machine you know
Starting point is 02:21:59 like I feel like I mean who would who would? Oh, try those shoes. Crush those boots. You know, we had a problem with those boots. They shipped without insoles. Yeah, and because it's Colin, and, like, he wouldn't tell us about something like that, it took us, like, three or four wearings to notice that the bottom of them were rock hard, and you could see, like, the stitches underneath them. And I'm like, is this normal?
Starting point is 02:22:23 I look at their website, and, no, they're supposed to come with cushions underneath so it's lame yeah we returned them new ones came in today those were not cheap boots yeah they made a mistake i haven't opened the new package yet i could do it on air let's see if they have insoles this time yeah let's just fancy boots let's see if we're gonna have to start a problem with those boot motherfuckers look out timberland rape squad killers on their way. This press, everyone keeps knocking this press because they're not interested in it. It needs to be bigger and badder than this.
Starting point is 02:22:52 This isn't an appropriate starter press? Maybe we need to know the travel on the hydraulic thing because I don't see it. It says, I think it said like 30 inches, think I think so 33 inches of movement on the carriage but I know I can only length of the the RAM how far the RAM travels good point
Starting point is 02:23:19 hmm now there's a video here. 14 and a half inches. How does that compare to his RAM? I think it's in the same league as what he has. Oh, this thing ships like in... like disassembled. You want to watch this video together? Oh, it's 9.
Starting point is 02:23:41 Yeah, it's very poorly made. You won't appreciate their audio quality i promise i have it muted uh but yeah it looks like you could assemble it in the shop and i could probably unload these pieces uh it's 5500 shipped uh through amazon according to my little Chrome extension here. Amazon. Huh. I didn't even think to look on Amazon. But we could do this and then like the upside of this thing is it's real. Like it's new. It would actually ship. We could get it. $5,500. I mean I could just I could buy that. It'd be here in a few days. As a matter of fact, I need to wait for the cement to dry. It's so easy to happen.
Starting point is 02:24:28 It could happen too fast. I'm sitting here. I need to give the cement pours Saturday. It'll probably be ready for the press a week later. I think at the end of the month I'm going away for two weeks.
Starting point is 02:24:48 We're going to have to figure out PKA during that time. I'm going to have to make sure I've got a good setup to take with me. I can't really say where I'm going right now. Can you type it? You're not going to show everybody, are you? Actually, I'm right now preparing all the bump messages. Oh, interesting. Yeah. All right.
Starting point is 02:25:17 Well, I think we should wrap hydraulic press talk. I think we should strongly consider this exact press. I have a thing for grizzly equipment, too. So we should look consider this exact press. I have a thing for grizzly equipment too. So we should look at them too. They're usually cheap, Chinese made, but like, you know, strong iron. And yeah, maybe make this press thing actually happen. I feel like this has gone from the no flipping way this really happens to, hey, maybe. Yeah, I think we should all come to your house and do a thing there like seriously you know it it's a it's a shame that
Starting point is 02:25:53 wings isn't is persona non grata um oh right i forgot for a second yeah um well uh that seems like a very smooth segue into lootot Crate, I think. This episode is being brought to you by Loot Crate. Loot Crate is a monthly subscription box service for epic geek and gamer items, as well as pop culture gear. For less than $20 a month, you get four to eight items that include licensed gear, apparel, collectibles, unique one-of-a-kind items, and more. Make sure to head on over to lootcrate.com slash painkiller and enter code PAINKILLER,
Starting point is 02:26:26 that's all caps it seems, to save $3 on any new subscription. Loot Crate is more than just a subscription service. It's an entire community of fans that share their experiences and interact with one another around the unboxing of each month's crate. They guarantee $40 plus in value in every crate
Starting point is 02:26:41 and sometimes it's a lot more. Every crate, every month there is a different theme and all items are curated around that theme. Previous crates have included items from franchises like Star Wars, Marvel, and The Walking Dead, The Legend of Zelda, and many more. The theme this month is Versus, celebrating many of the greatest rivalries in pop culture. Dark Knight versus Man of Steel, Alien versus Predator, Spock versus Mirror Universe, Spock, Daredevil versus Pun Punisher, Harley Quinn vs. Everyone, and our exclusive items include
Starting point is 02:27:08 something you can display, something you can wear, and something you can use. Oh, and don't forget their T and loot pin. So remember, you only have until the 19th at 9pm Pacific to subscribe and receive that month's crate. And when the cutoff happens, that's it. It's over.
Starting point is 02:27:24 So go on to lootcrate.com slash painkiller and enter our offer code painkiller to get $3 off your new subscription today. Check them out. Well done, Kyle. You made me really want to check them out. Because I think that you got a sample of Loot Crate and you were telling me
Starting point is 02:27:41 it was really great, but I didn't get one. I got a lot of stuff in Crate and you were telling me it was really great, but I didn't get one. I got a lot of stuff in there. That's not really my thing usually, but I like little knick-knacks that I can put on my desk and around the house and stuff like that. I gave a bunch of that stuff away, but yeah, there's Man vs. Steel stuff. It's cool stuff.
Starting point is 02:27:59 There's so many Loot Crate services out there. Loot Crate to me is almost synonymous. Like, it's a code word for monthly subscription-based type stuff. My daughter is always asking for things. Someone told me, I mentioned, she wanted a redhead makeup Loot Crate-like thing. And someone else was like, yeah.
Starting point is 02:28:18 Like, as a fellow ginger, I can completely see why somebody would want that. And people just like If what's in loot crate is your kit cup of tea then you get a monthly Christmas There should be a loot great for every group. I feel like there definitely should be and there really is even the shitty groups Stop stop stop the white're ruining ad read. You're going to fuck it up. They're going to write us back and be like, no, no. I already thought of that, but I wasn't going to say it
Starting point is 02:28:52 because I'm usually the one that upsets our sponsors. I think I've seen a few of them running already. But I wasn't going to say anything about the KKK box. But now that you mention it, it might have that rope from my childhood in it. Stop, stop, stop, stop. There's... the KKK box, but now that you mention it, it might have that rope from my childhood in it. Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! There's... I have a question for Chiz that I just typed in. I'd like you to answer that
Starting point is 02:29:16 real quick, if you'd be so kind. If you would be so kind! Okay, perfect. Because I was gonna make fun of that, and I want to make sure that that's not the thing they're in. Loot crates like this make sense to me. If that's what the term is, is a loot crate or a crate that you get every month makes sense
Starting point is 02:29:33 if it's stuff that you can use. You like Batman, you get a bunch of fucking Batman stuff. You like subscription box, she says. The cookie, the fucking cookie of the week, you know, muffin of the month club, that sounds so fucking stupid and ridiculous. Why would you want... You can go to a bakery way closer to you,
Starting point is 02:29:53 no matter where you are, and get one. Get a way better muffin than this one that was shipped to you in some sealed container that was probably made six days ago. I don't get that. I bet Pal's about to disagree with you. Yeah, man, Woody sent some cookies our way one time and for a whole fucking year, every month, there was a box of cookies
Starting point is 02:30:09 and those things were delicious. It was a dozen cookies every time. They were always different cookies. I loved that shit. I want to buy it for myself now so that there's just always cookies coming. Maybe I'm being biased. I just don't like sweets. If there was a loot crate for cheesy cracker snacks, I'd be down for that.
Starting point is 02:30:27 It's not a loot crate, but my wife buys chocolate from this place in Jersey called Bromelos. They're, like, you've never, you know what? If you haven't had Bromelos, you are a candy virgin. Like, I really don't. Is it Bromelos? I wouldn't know. Bromelos. Just like a mommy used to make.
Starting point is 02:30:46 It is... I feel like buying it now. It's kind of expensive. It's not uncommon to spend $70 on the chocolate, which is a lot for some frickin' chocolate. But it's good. Yeah, but you don't know shit about candy if you haven't had this. Bromelos... Do they have salted caramels? you don't know shit about candy if you haven't had this.
Starting point is 02:31:06 Do they have salted caramels? I don't know. Those are great. Yeah, but you think whatever you like is good. You haven't had good yet. You know, I know Chiz was doing, what, 10 bottles of 100% food shipped every three days to you? Almost like a subscription box, right, Chiz? It was an enormous amount.
Starting point is 02:31:31 I know he spent... I think this cost like six grand, not $5,500. Oh, he did it in bulk. So you just ordered a fuck ton of useless powder. And now you got it. Just in case the bathroom needs re-grouting or anything like that you know it's weird but they haven't upped their their advertising with us again yeah he got a lot more mentioned than a lot of advertisers granted it's very negative we got the theme from their website
Starting point is 02:32:01 their website's reviews were all like you know know, not as horrific as you might guess. Yeah, I remember asking Chiz beforehand, and Chiz was like, they said be honest, and so we were honest. We were very, I'd say too honest, honestly. After every drink, I made a face like it was whiskey. You would probably prefer whiskey to that. I don't know. I'm really not a whiskey guy. No, I would.
Starting point is 02:32:30 At least whiskey is regular liquid you could just swallow like liquid. It just doesn't linger like chunks of it. I know. I love Kyle's copy pasting skill. Kyle's sending something in the chat. I have stuff in front of me. And it's really as bad as I say it is.
Starting point is 02:32:48 I don't understand what you're trying to send. Oh, here it is. Oh, he was sending. That's great. Is this something I can share with the world? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's still a work in progress. The artists at the hot sauce company are working with several images aside from this one.
Starting point is 02:33:14 Wow. Oh, and the knives, we should be able to do pre-sales next show. We're setting up an Etsy store that will have like um it'll be like product will be shipped on x date because we know when the knives will be coming because they're already ordered and everything and uh so you'll be able to pre-order those if you want and they're going to ship um i don't know the exact date but kitty does know that exact date and it'll be there on the store uh so we'll have that next week nice well i think that picture looks great and it looks like he looks like a real chef there.
Starting point is 02:33:46 I got several like that. It was a silly time over at Wings' house. Even a hot sauce of the month box, Chiz. That's a lot of hot sauce. You have to be a real connoisseur to be going through a bottle a month. Yeah. Yeah, that's a lot of vinegar to just be essentially drinking. Anyway, well done with the photography, Kyle.
Starting point is 02:34:09 I think that looks very good. Let's see. Let me get a full pic. It's the same size. I see that now. You blow it up, it gets all pixelated. The old thumbnail pic. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:34:28 Kyle, you know, for a guy who's made as many videos as Kyle, he's not really a computer person yet. No, not really. This is what I got here. I don't know what you want. I learned render settings from kyle like we've talked about that conversation before but like we have yeah i was like dude dude dude this is i'll just let you know how to make great videos i'll give up my secret here it is and and
Starting point is 02:34:58 it was him yeah he linked me my own video about render settings. Yeah, it's like yep that guy you're right What he's got it all figured out that guy must have watched endless hours of other videos and then Experimented for days at a time making thousands of sample videos uploaded to private on that guy was my ace in the hole I shared him with you. Yeah I don't know what's going on with that picture There's a there's a higher quality of that because I did it with Wings DSLR. So I don't know why that's a shitty quality. But you used Wings' camera? No, I like that.
Starting point is 02:35:31 Yeah, well, I got there and I had brought a camera, but I wasn't very familiar with it. It was my girlfriend's DSLR. And he was like, well, I got mine right here. And I was like, well, I got mine and I had the whole case and everything. And he's like, oh, shoot, shoot, shoot, come on. And I was like, he makes a good point point I'll just use his so excuses I see where you're coming from oh did that guy someone on the pka subreddit said Kyle
Starting point is 02:35:54 your move and I don't know what he sent you maybe a picture and like a bunch of reader card adapter oh did the card get into my package? No. That reader card adapter, I have one of those, and still that doesn't solve the issue. It just doesn't. No, it didn't make it into your package. But you did get shipped the flamethrower, your saw, and your sleeping bag. You got all those things back. I know.
Starting point is 02:36:18 And I know how much you appreciate little items like that. So I was worried even being the keeper of those items for a short period of time i would walk past the where the saw was every day and i'd be like the saw's still there nobody's fucking with that saw i had already put the saw in a closet because i was worried some asshole was going to come in there and be like cutting like brick with it or something like tile like i don't know what could happen You didn't scratch my soul or like, you know, did you,
Starting point is 02:36:46 did you rub my sleeping bag or anything? Right. Kitty's like putting like dirt bags open with it and like dulling the fuck out of it. I don't know what. So, so it was, I was very happy to get all those items back to you.
Starting point is 02:36:57 Um, they'll be there tomorrow. If you look carefully, you can see the paintball scar on my head. I have a circular, it's like my own Harry Potter mark. Can you see it? Well, that's generous.
Starting point is 02:37:09 I've still got a bump from that on my head. I can feel it beneath the skin. It's like a knot. Yeah, a knot. Yeah. I can actually see that through the webcam. Not yours, Kyle, because I think yours is on the top of your head by your hair,
Starting point is 02:37:22 but I can see Woody's when he gets close. I didn't know what it was. I was like, honey, do you see a thing here? You got a rough eye. She's like, yeah, that's from your paintball getting shot in the face. Great. Permanently scarred in the face. He got shot in the face and it blew the skin off his head. It's a scar from a paintball gun.
Starting point is 02:37:38 I had a mask on, of course, but the mask went here and I might have... I don't know if I had a hat on. I think I did. Woody darts through a room, uh, past the doorway. And there's a guy waiting there already shooting and, or,
Starting point is 02:37:50 or shooting at the right. The exact. Yeah. And my helmet cam catches it pretty well as Woody's kind of like head down running and the paintball just like point blank. I mean, the barrel to his head is like this and, and he visibly recoils and like lowers his head as he continues in.
Starting point is 02:38:06 And, yeah, it was bad. It bled quite a bit, and it was so, so swollen. I really wanted, when we got to Denny's, to make it out like it was a lover's quarrel between the two of us, and that's why he had this big knot on his head. I wanted the waitress to be like, oh, Lord, what happened? The same thing is going to happen to the other side if he keeps running that dick around town. Well, someone said we were going to make it to dinner by 7, and it looks to me like it's 7.15.
Starting point is 02:38:31 Hmm. I can make that mistake again. Woody, how are we? And you're all snidey and mean, but also a little gay sounding. Yeah. Oh, we did go to Outback. That was a good trip. I remember that we all got some booze,
Starting point is 02:38:41 and I remember it was really tasty because we'd had a hard weekend of playing paintball. What kind of booze did you get? Probably got a margarita or something. I don't really remember. Yeah, I got a margarita. Just with your online character, I never... You drink the fruitiest drinks, which is fine. I just don't get it.
Starting point is 02:39:00 I don't understand how you can drink that and not have a horrible stomach ache. I just drink one or two. And I'm eating the bread with it too. I mean there's a couple shots of tequila in there. It's tasty. I like tequila. And I wasn't really trying to get that drunk.
Starting point is 02:39:15 If I'm going to drink, I'll drink tequila probably or Jaeger or something like that. I can't do vodka anymore and most like whiskey and bourbon and stuff like that. Like nothing I can really do vodka anymore and most like whiskey and bourbon and stuff like that. Like nothing I can really deal with anymore. Like anything from Crown Royal to Jameson to Jack Daniels, all that stuff just makes me cringe so bad now I can't deal with it. You've just had it ruined for you by getting too ill on it? Yeah. I used to really like Maker's Mark. And my friend Paul got me into Manhattan, Maker's Mark Manhattan.
Starting point is 02:39:47 And after you sip one of those things down, you know, you got to get it down. But once you get one of them down, that second one is fucking tasty. And the third one is delicious. Because it is a lot of alcohol. It's so much alcohol. Like, I mean, it's a glass. Like, you know, it's a big glass that Manhattan comes in. And you're just kind of sipping away.
Starting point is 02:40:05 The sips get bigger and bigger and bigger until you're like it's a Coke or something and just ripped on that thing. It's tasty. I like that. If I'm going to drink vodka, it's Tito's Vodka. I don't know. I like some olives in there.
Starting point is 02:40:22 Some blue cheese stuffed olives maybe so I get something to snack on. That's a common food that I loat olives in there. Some blue cheese stuffed olives, maybe, so I get something to snack on. Oh, man, I hate... That's a common food that I loathe, is olives. So gross. I like blue cheese stuffed olives. I don't like regular olives. I didn't know they put blue cheese in drinks in olives.
Starting point is 02:40:38 That seems like too much shit going on. I sent a message to an eBay seller for a shipping quote on a 100-ton hydraulic press. We'll see how this goes. So according to Chiz, AMC is about to start letting people text while they're in the theater. And... Stupid. That's so fucking stupid. Can I bring flashlights too?
Starting point is 02:41:00 Can I just scream and clap? I'm really particular about this. Because when I go to imax i almost always go to the imax because i like it i watch superman versus batman and imax 3d and um and i always pick my i i get my tickets on fandango like a few days in advance so i can pick the exact seats i want because i usually like to get the seats that the whoever edited whoever makes the sound wherever that guy sits that's where i want to sit so i always look that information up and see what's going on with that. So I feel like I'm getting my best audio
Starting point is 02:41:27 experience as well. Unfortunately, that's kind of right in the center of the theater. And that's where a lot of people like to congregate. So despite the fact that there was only like 12 people in this like afternoon showing, they were all around me and these cocksuckers behind me just wouldn't shut the fuck up. And it wasn't that they were being loud. They were just being loud enough that I could hear them and it even that alone was just driving me insane and i wanted to fucking explode and scream at them and call them like cunts but but but you know you can't do that in public as you do can't have a fucking public meltdown but i wanted to so bad i wanted to throw my drink on them i wanted to fucking explode but
Starting point is 02:42:03 you can't i almost lost it at paris i'm sorry continue i just jumped right so the idea of like people like texting and like they're not even being like a crowd mentality of hey fucking cut it out dude of someone else is going to be like it's actually uh you know you do it according to the rules you can text and yeah i i won't go to amc then um i i don't anyway text. I won't go to AMC then. I don't anyway. But I won't go somewhere where that's fucking allowed. I would like it if there was a strict no talking policy. I wish they had like two or three movie Nazis in there with those red flashlights who would fucking zone in on anybody.
Starting point is 02:42:37 When I used to go to the Walking Dead night, there's a bar... I think it's called Six Feet Under. Yeah. It would appear someone is discussing the intricacies of the shot during the film. We would appreciate perhaps you keep it to yourself. I'll tell you what. I used to go.
Starting point is 02:42:54 I think the bar was called Six Feet Under maybe. I might be getting that wrong in Atlanta. But they do weekly Walking Dead watching parties. And with the Walking Dead on A&E, first know, first, the previous week's episode plays. And that's a casual thing. Everybody's eating, drinking, ordering drinks. It's a bar with, you know, with food and everything. It's a bar restaurant.
Starting point is 02:43:13 But there is a bar around the middle that's like a legit bar. And so, and there's TVs everywhere, kind of like a sports bar set up. But when the real one comes on, they let you know beforehand. He's like, all right, the show's about to start. And he's on a microphone. This is the main the main guy show's about to start got a couple rules
Starting point is 02:43:29 first of all there's no talking that means whispering murmuring anything verbal you want it you want your waitress you signal her over and point do your best with gestures there will be no talking it will not be tolerated this is your warning and that's it and then the fucking show starts and inevitably there's somebody who steps out of line and he doesn't he doesn't even wait around there's no there's none of that the show will be going and he'll be quick and succinct with it but loud as fuck fuck in the middle of the show hey you you shut up you're out of here now and and everybody was what the fuck and and nobody has ever stood up to that like they always shut the fuck and i've seen two people get escorted out they're like you
Starting point is 02:44:10 you're done you're done it's like your food and fucking drinks like you're done just you're out of here that's it it doesn't sound fun it's awesome i might like that yeah i like it we all liked it like we were all fans of the show but but we wanted the environment of the bar, the group feeling of it. Because a lot of times people who did the makeup and sound and little jobs would be there. And they would say that beforehand in his speech. He'd be like, hey, there are people here tonight that worked on this. This is very important to them. That's pretty cool.
Starting point is 02:44:38 This is a big deal to us. So we met. I can see it both ways, actually. I think it would be fun if everyone was completely silent and into it as much as we do. I know it's the word policy, which is funny. It would also be fun if it was like the – remember we saw the Conor McGregor fight against Chad Mendes at a movie theater? It was like being at like a sports arena. It was like going to the game. There were other people there cheering.
Starting point is 02:45:06 There were people clapping. We were excited when Connor won. Someone else was pissed when Connor won. I felt like it was a group experience. Different event. A sporting event lends itself to a cheering crowd, to that sort of thing. You're rooting for the home team, et cetera. But I feel like a TV show, especially one like The Walking Dead,
Starting point is 02:45:25 where they're always whispering and murmuring, and we're trying not to alert the zombies. I need to hear what they're fucking saying. And if some jackass over here wants another beer and he ruins that, then I'm not coming back to this bar to watch it. I'm here because I want the deep fried fudge cake that they make.
Starting point is 02:45:42 They would only make one a night, and they were serious about it. I tried to order night, and they were serious about it. Like, I tried to order two, and they wouldn't do it. Someone else got it, so as soon as I got there, I'd immediately order it, so I would be the only one to get one. And then everybody within sight would smell and see what I got. It's literally a cake, a chocolate fudge cake, deep-fried, and it's covered in powdered sugar.
Starting point is 02:46:06 Everybody would want it, but they wouldn't make another one. No matter what. You couldn't pay them off. I offered $50 for one one night. She said no. I hate shit like that at restaurants where they make something popular and they have this drummed up manufactured scarcity of it. Oh, no, no, no. We've got 16 chicken wings in the back
Starting point is 02:46:22 for every evening. We don't do 15. We don't do 17. We don't do 17. We do 16 wings. That's two orders of it. You go fuck yourself. We're not making any more. How about you do what the customer wants? How about you make another chocolate cake and stop berating people for ordering a drink at your bar while there's a show on that should have ended four seasons ago?
Starting point is 02:46:37 I asked him. I was like, why? Why won't you make two of them? Why won't you make ten of them if the people will pay? And they were like, ah, it's really messy to make and the batter, and they only don't... Well, we really have no business understanding, which is why we're running this in the first place, clearly kind of making some of our
Starting point is 02:46:51 customers feel a bit isolated, not wanted. And when this series is over, we fully expect to remain a successful bar, based on these pretenses and things that we've said. Ah, they were, you know, they were successful every other night of the week, I guess. It was a nice place, but I thought that was a cool little feature that they did. And I like that fucking cake.
Starting point is 02:47:07 I wish I had one now. It might be neat if it would work. I just don't feel like there's any way in a bar when people have been drinking all night that even a guy screaming is going to get people to shut up. Oh, he doesn't? People are going to be murmuring the whole time. Uh-uh. No, I'm telling you.
Starting point is 02:47:21 The people who are... First of all, getting a table is an issue. We get there two hours early when we would go like it was a whole thing yeah like to get a good table like with a good tv in front of you and everything it was like going to a sporting event so we just get there early and eat appetizers and drink and drink and be pretty lit by the time the show started um and you know we'd get a table for all our friends and they actually that does make sense because you were a little lit by the time the show started.
Starting point is 02:47:45 So you weren't like the sober guy sitting there like, God damn it. Like I can't pay attention. All these fuckers are talking. I can hear you. I wish that guy would just yell at them. God, that guy's a cut.
Starting point is 02:47:54 Like, but you're a little bit lit. And so it's like, you're not even pay attention to, you know, Susie Q being a little too loud. I'm telling you, nobody does.
Starting point is 02:48:02 Nobody would get too loud. Like it, it would have it. I watched the entire season there and it happened like three times ever and most of the time like a quick like hey that's not tolerated would like shut it down immediately like there were no fuck-ups like uh it's a nice place that'd be great if a place did that for game of thrones i would be down for that yeah that'd be that'd be cool to be watched in a group environment.
Starting point is 02:48:25 I'm really looking forward to the new season, man. Like I've been saying all along, I haven't watched any of the teasers. I don't know anything that's coming. Ten days. Ten days. Chiz saying that Alamo Draft House does Game of Thrones. You know, I think it would be cool
Starting point is 02:48:39 if I was with a group of people I knew, but in that case, I want to go to Woody's house and watch on his giganto 100-inch screen or whatever, right? I don't really want to go hang out with some strangers and watch it. What if their opinions differ from mine? Clearly my opinion is correct. Now I have to listen to their hydraulic press bat shooting
Starting point is 02:48:56 with Game of Thrones, right? We could just make sure that we're all here on a Sunday night and we'll take it over. Dude, my 100 inch screen and projection is pretty cool. really like it it's i think you would too my audio fuck dude like when you feel it thump your ass you're gonna be like oh like what he was right about this my audio is there's no room for improvement it's is it just like oh man we gotta come over
Starting point is 02:49:26 and you're gonna have to bear with us while we watch the extended edition of all three Lord of the Rings. Dude! Those are great. A whole day event and the sound is on point when you can hear those little goblins scurrying around in the halls of Moria as they're looking around
Starting point is 02:49:42 they know they're coming. Oh! I would like it. Fuck you, Chiz! In the halls of Moria as they're looking around, they know they're coming. Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. I would like it. I own the trilogy. The Hobbit trilogy. Fuck you, Chiz. Oh, no. Not the Hobbit trilogy.
Starting point is 02:49:52 No, you're not coming, Chiz. You can watch that on a portable DVD player in the bathroom. This should be great. And Kyle, we have another fence to put in. I will do no manual labor. You know what, Kyle? I've actually got a 52, 56-inch TV. You just come over.
Starting point is 02:50:10 I don't even have a fence yet. It's putting in. Hi. I've got a 72-inch. You can come over here and no fencing here either. Okay, we'll hire someone to do the fence. Now, we need a fence for the pool. I'm going to get there and you're going to conscript me to go get you snacks
Starting point is 02:50:24 because the dog's gonna be trying to eat you every time you go upstairs the thing i'm scared of that dog doesn't have that dog anymore he's got his face got no not woody your dog dax oh my god oh that cocksucker yeah oh fuck i've been feeding him a little chicken every day when i come home like i stop by zaxby's and and get get a small chicken tenders and I give them a few pieces of chicken every day. I'm trying to win him back, I guess, or at least get him to stop
Starting point is 02:50:52 barking at me. What if accidentally one day you order the chicken tenders, goddammit, they put chicken wings in there, the poor thing eats it whole, chokes on a couple of bones, goddammit, nobody could have seen it coming. I wasn't going to say anything, but at Wings House,
Starting point is 02:51:07 we filmed a couple things, and I had an entire plate of hot wings there that were going to be the before and after for a thing. Anyway, we poured the Frank's Red Hot all over them, so now we had an entire
Starting point is 02:51:23 big plate of raw hot wings. big ones, you know, big ones, not like tiny ones, covered in Frank's Red Hot. And he was like, oh, Chevy will love these. And I was like, at least wash the hot sauce off of him. And he's like, ah, she loves it. And I was like, but it's chicken. But he'd already given this huge plate of like raw chicken wings covered in frank's red hot to that to that labrador and that dog was just munching him up as i was leaving i was like all right kill that fucking dog we should have pinged wings as an emergency guest
Starting point is 02:51:55 ah we should have he messaged me earlier um i don't he messaged me too did you message him back um no i didn't know what this was about. He said, are you free in 45 minutes? And then he tried to... He already wrote me! He tried to send me this guy. Well, he tried to send me a contact as well. Did he do that to you? He tried to share this gentleman's contact information with me.
Starting point is 02:52:18 But it was like 20 minutes before the show when he sent me that, so I didn't even reply because it's like 20 minutes before the show when he sent me that, so I didn't even reply because it's like 20 minutes before the show. Well, yeah, if he can hop in for a bit, we could ping him. Maybe Chiz could be on that. Maybe Chiz could check. Ping Chiz. If you're not too busy watching them rehash issues. Ping Wings and see if he's available right now.
Starting point is 02:52:40 Yeah, see if he'll hop in for the last bit of the show. Quick hockey update. Looks like the Islanders caught up, took the lead, and beat the Panthers in game one. Stars won against the Wild 2-0. Sharks and Kings are tied. Chiz, I know you're tied to the screen there. And the Capitals beat the Flyers 2-0. Chiz, can we get an update on which of the cucks out did each other in the Democratic National Debate?
Starting point is 02:53:08 Was it the annoying soulless woman or the spineless withered old man? Was it the weak-looking octogenarian who brought home the gold tonight? Did he? The guy who could die tonight and people would be sad, but no one would be surprised. I just can't believe that you're watching another one of these debates, man.
Starting point is 02:53:35 I can't believe these. It's the same thing. I haven't watched any this entire time because I know they're all the same. It's the same shit every time. Well, shouldn't you watch one then I? Watched some the last cycle I Know Chiz I know I don't follow any it really bothers you though that I have strong opinions on things that I don't research
Starting point is 02:53:57 Come on I have strong opinions and all the on all the candidates who watch the debates now have you read the pilot no No, he's sending taylor all this literature read this read that taylor's like nah yeah he sent us one thing earlier tonight and he was like read this list of things and it was a list on sanders for president on reddit which is the most biased and i told him that's like me sending him you know a link from dr mengela's website from the nazi about how jews are actually the worst like of course it's biased like it's it's it's totally leaning that direction like i would not send you a link from the donald and be like look at that looks like i'm in the right corner like
Starting point is 02:54:37 no and i even pointed out on there i'm like hey this list of his achievements first of all there's not even one per year barely one every couple. And there's a gap between 1992 and 2007 on this list. So even his most adamant people that love him realize that he had a 15-year drought of efficacy, apparently. Which probably isn't even true, Chiz. It's not true. Are we talking about the stuff he passed? But he hates it.
Starting point is 02:55:04 Okay, now I see the goal. He hates it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, Chiz. I'm sorry. Anyway. Yeah, go back to hockey talk. No, I want to keep poking at Chiz.
Starting point is 02:55:16 I know. Chiz is truly into Sanders. I hate my own position. $3,200-something dollars now. All of us have shitty, shitty positions. I'll explain. Me, I dislike all the candidates. You have to pick one.
Starting point is 02:55:33 You have to find a guy you dislike the least, at least, and I haven't done that yet. Taylor, strong opinions change every week, completely unresearched. Right? So that's not good. They vary wildly. Kyle, hardcore Trump supporter who pretends he only supports him for the lulz. Right? That's intolerable.
Starting point is 02:55:55 And Chiz, hardcore Sanders supporter, completely drinking the Kool-Aid. Yeah, he thinks. See, if Chiz were super into Cruz or Trump, it'd be harder to do with Trump because embracing Trump in and of itself is almost accepting of the jokes coming your way because it's already... You know what I mean? People who are supporting Trump expect that.
Starting point is 02:56:16 If you were a huge fan of Hillary, I would be targeting her really hard because he's so passionate about it. It's just like when you make fun of the St. Louis Blues losing in hockey in the playoffs. I want to be like, ha, you, ah, fuck you. But really, I'm like, well, the fact is, Woody, is that our shot stats from the past few years are actually way better than you're thinking.
Starting point is 02:56:35 You're not giving us the credit. And you don't care. You just want to get under my skin. And you did. But I still have that urge to defend the team, just like Chiz. He has to defend Team sanders he can't resist it's great i'm not i saw all those posts on the reddit that were like um on the pka reddit they were like saying what you said about kyle that he's a secret trump supporter i was sold on that
Starting point is 02:57:00 for a bit i'm not he went to a trump rally i know that he really i know that he likes trump way more than he pretends to because you always back off and do the you know oh but that would just be so crazy like because you have to with trump a bit but i think he's so entertaining i think i'm entertained by trump he's not that entertaining he is to me okay i find him what's his best Trump joke? Where's his zinger in the debates? It's a different kind of comedy than that. It's not about necessarily what he's... The funny thing is his supporters are playing off him, though.
Starting point is 02:57:38 I think it's his style. It's everything about him. I think he's funny when he's up there. I think the way he took all those politicians apart, like from Jeb Bush to Marco about him. I think he's funny when he's up there. I think the way he took all those politicians apart, like from Jeb Bush to Marco Rubio, I think that's funny. I like seeing these guys being treated without respect, being treated indignantly, and they're like, nobody's ever called him a dickhead before.
Starting point is 02:57:58 Nobody's ever called him a goober or made fun of their dick size. It's fun seeing their fish-out-of-water experience because they've always been attacked by politicians in a way that Hillary Clinton attacks people, which is very measured, very precise. You don't want to overextend yourself, but you don't want to be too weak either. I hate politicians, and I don't believe in our political system anymore. I feel like it's so inherently flawed that it's just a broken system. I don't believe in it anymore. It's crap. crap i i feel like there are two or three there are two or three bigger things than than i can
Starting point is 02:58:25 ever be that are already uh guiding our politicians the way they want there's there's corporations there's banks there there's multi uh national interests that are putting so much pressure on our politicians that what my voice is so drowned out it's not even a point it's not even democracy anymore i want to say this it's an oligarchy i i kind of agree with everything you're saying if trump doesn't represent the republicans you know having gotten the most votes i strongly agree with what you're saying it it's if it goes to a brokered convention and the guy with the most votes doesn't win fuck the republicans i already feel that way i i'm not even talking about the republican party or the democrat party i'm just talking about the u.s government and and the way it's run. And most world governments, I don't know any good ones. Fuck, none of them seem to work. There seems like so much red tape that it's entirely ineffective from the smallest levels of state government up into the biggest nation swathing policies from the federal government. I don't like any of it. policies from the federal government.
Starting point is 02:59:23 I don't like any of it. I'm more and more libertarian every day and I don't like any of our politicians. I don't feel like they really are representing us. They're just not. I think they're a bunch of squares. You know what's better than politic talk? Squarespace. Squarespace is a service that
Starting point is 02:59:42 lets you build a website. It's really great and I think that Kyle can tell you even more about it because I don't have the copy. Well their sites look professionally designed regardless of your skill level. There's no coding required. They have intuitive and easy to use tools. Squarespace has state-of-the-art technology powering your website to ensure security and stability. They're trusted by millions of people and some of the most respected brands in the world.
Starting point is 03:00:06 And it all starts out at $8 per month. You get a free domain if you sign up for a year. That's a pretty good deal. So start your free trial today with no credit card required at squarespace.com. When you decide to sign up for Squarespace, make sure to use the offer code PKA to get 10% off your first purchase.
Starting point is 03:00:21 Squarespace, build it beautiful. I feel like we'll use Squarespace, I'm sure, to make our Crusher website. I didn't notice that you could get your free month without a credit card required. Like, that's a big thing. You know how they're like, hey, sign up for your free month. And then you forget about it
Starting point is 03:00:37 and they start charging you. That's their whole business model. They're like, hey, have your free month. I assume they just end your website if after a month you're not doing it. That's pretty cool. Not Squarespace. They're not trying to fool you into doing it. They know the product will speak for itself.
Starting point is 03:00:53 Or the service, rather. And joining us mid-show is Mr. Wings of Redemption himself. What's going on, man? How are you doing, Wings? Doing wonderful. Dude, thanks for coming. you doing, Wings? Doing wonderful. Doing wonderful. Dude, thanks for coming.
Starting point is 03:01:08 Is that a Blues jersey? It is a Blues jersey. Yes, it is. I was talking about behind you. Is it signed or something? No. No, that one's not signed. It's just one that I have in a glass box. My girlfriend bought it for me. Last time I knew about the St. Louis Blues, Brett Hull still played for them. That was a long fucking time ago. Well, to be fair, you're not really in a hockey part of the St. Louis Blues. Brett Hull still played for them. That was a long fucking time ago.
Starting point is 03:01:26 Well, to be fair, you're not really in a hockey part of the country. Like, not much down there. Yeah, anything past the Canadian border is generally not hockey country. Yeah. You can go to, like, a Hurricanes game, see the other dozen people, have a good time. Hey, Hurricanes are actually the only Carolina team with some championships. Are they really? Oh, the Panthers team with some championships. Are they really?
Starting point is 03:01:46 Oh, the Panthers don't have one. Panthers have one. Braves ain't got one since 95. Wait, the Panthers do have one or they don't? They don't. I thought, I don't know. They're a fairly new team.
Starting point is 03:01:58 We went twice. We went twice. Yeah. I thought the Panthers had a Super Bowl. Are we talking about the Carolina Panthers? Yeah. The Carolina Panthers, yes. I thought they had a Super Bowl. Are we talking about the Carolina Panthers? Yeah. The Carolina Panthers, yes. I thought they had a Super Bowl.
Starting point is 03:02:08 We can Google that. We should have had one this year. We were the best team this year. I really wanted to see Carolina win this past Super Bowl. I was bummed out. I wanted to see them win, too. That big foreheaded fuck has way too much success already. So, Wings. I'm in the camp that Peyton Manning was, you know,
Starting point is 03:02:26 Peyton Manning paid off Cam Newton to throw the game. That was easily Cam Newton's worst game of the season, and it just happened to be in the Super Bowl. You think that Papa John money was enough to push him over the edge? Give up the ring? You know, in Peyton Manning, he's a super Republican. You know he's about that dirty shit. Maybe so.
Starting point is 03:02:43 He's a jed. As opposed to those Democrats, where the dirty shit is built right into their super delegated system now right all the shit too I want to I want to talk about the drama you got going on up to your place we all watched your video today I'm so excited sitting around watching your latest video all watch yeah man so so let me get this straight. Your grandma got this boyfriend off Plenty of Fish, imported
Starting point is 03:03:10 him over to Myrtle Beach, and it seemed like, in her little video that you nefariously recorded with your cell phone camera, it seemed like she was... Yeah, it seemed like she was trying to play it off like, ah, he just wanted to come to Myrtle Beach, and I knew him. That's all it was, but in reality, it seemed like she was trying to play it off like, oh, he just wanted to come to Myrtle Beach, and I knew him.
Starting point is 03:03:25 That's all it was. But in reality, it seemed like maybe she had some feelings for this guy, and now they've kind of... Let me clear the slate up, because I looked at the subreddit, and they had the story all twisted. Which subreddit? Was it the Pika show or the Pika? The Pika subreddit.
Starting point is 03:03:39 I didn't see that thread. Okay. All right. My grandma recently got into plenty of fish she's a woman that leads a very isolated life and she just does stuff to make herself entertained well she finds jim which is the which is the guy's name and jim doesn't have transportation she don't know anything about him but in three weeks she's in love so she decides to move him down here and and so she asked me to rent a u-haul and go get him and he would pay me the money to uh you know after all the all the
Starting point is 03:04:14 stuff which he did this is great a u-haul and i paid the gas money all right thing and i helped move him down let me jump in how far did you drive with this u-haul like and was it it like a U-Haul you towed behind your truck? Yes, it was an enclosed 12-footer. All right, so you went and got one of those 12-foot U-Hauls, hooked it up to your truck, and then you drove to where? Fayetteville, North Carolina. How far of a drive was that? So you drove two hours.
Starting point is 03:04:37 You never met this guy before. 110 miles, something like that. So you never met this guy before. You load his shit up, put him in your truck, and bring him back to your grandma's place. Well and a guy named doug did it yeah has jim ever been to prison uh don't know about that question but um doug is a guy that i had help to help me move the stuff because jim is like 70 so he can help me move dressers and stuff so i took somebody with me let me ask you this Did your grandma come on this trip with you?
Starting point is 03:05:05 Yes. Okay. That was nice. She drove her own car. Okay. All right. You didn't have to spend two hours just you and this guy in a truck. He rode with her, I'm sure, right?
Starting point is 03:05:17 That's correct. So she fell in love with him online. Mm-hmm. Did they Skype, or were they just sexting like how does this go down phone facetime facetime okay okay so like so he gets down here in less than a week she's ready to throw him out he buys this big thumpity stereo system well he got it from aaron's he like bought you know when he's like buy here pay here places you got this big stereo systems and they're like this thing has like three eight inch sub
Starting point is 03:05:51 18 inch subwoofers built into it it's like and he put it in a single wide trailer it's like it didn't make sense what kind of music what kind of music does he play through this Thumpity's boombox? Country Western. Country Western. Like some Marty Robbins? Like Earl Haggard and some Waylon Jennings. Okay.
Starting point is 03:06:15 This is hilarious. I'd have an aneurysm. Regardless, the reason I'm telling you about the Thumpity stereo system, there was a point about that, is because when shit started rolling downhill, that was the first complaint that gets thrown up that she doesn't like the stereo in her house okay so she was trying to throw the stereo out the door you know this is a stereo that this man hasn't paid for fully yet he's on a payment plan with it so we had to stop living in the same house they were living in the same house at that point okay Okay. So we had to call the law. You know, maybe.
Starting point is 03:06:49 I called the law. Because Grandma was in one of her moods. My grandma, she gets, her blood pressure goes straight through the roof, and she gets ready to fight. My grandma is. So the call just hit four hours. Click your video thing, and it'll come back. It's a little slow, but it'll do it.
Starting point is 03:07:03 Okay. Let's make sure that it was recording. We're good. We called the law and the law comes down and goes, no, you can't throw him out. You've got to go to the magistrate. You've got to evict him. His mail comes here. He is now a tenant. Basically, what we were
Starting point is 03:07:17 trying to tell her, we had to have the law tell her. That smoothed things out for about four days. Then she wants to throw his clothes out the door so after she after that happens um he ends up because she's talking purity dog shit to him when he's there because they have like these two recliners and they would sit there and and she was a bitch at him all day. So he goes and rents a... Do I need to do something? Taylor did, but it's better.
Starting point is 03:07:49 Kyle, can you go on and off again, too? It's not working for you. I don't know. I should be fine, hopefully. You are fine, Taylor. Yeah, cool. So... Where was that?
Starting point is 03:08:02 They would talk... She would talk shit to him. Yeah, she would sit there and talk shit, him yeah she would sit and talk shit like purity shit it was so much she was talking down to the man so much i had to be like dude that's not cool you can't sit there and talk bad about this man imagine if somebody stood over you all day and talk bad about you here's the kicker she was charging a man 900 bucks a month to like stay in a single wide trailer no she was not yeah yeah so this was just a tenant that she found online so how how many how how much money how many total months of rent did she extract from him like one month two two she got 1800 bucks cash off this guy
Starting point is 03:08:37 yeah and the stereo well the stereo he turned back in but we'll get to that later um she actually probably got more than that because like i heard'll get to that later um she actually probably got more than that because like i heard from him today that what would happen is he got he has a pension check from like some place he was like an employee of and his pension check is like 2400 bucks a month he would give her the entire check both of the months he was there and and here's the kicker he would rely on her to buy him stuff like say he needed cigarettes or he wanted to go out to eat or something he'd be like she would have to pay for it because he pretty much gave her his whole check well she started accusing him of never buying anything
Starting point is 03:09:19 and now you got to sit there and talk to my grandma like well he gave you all his money he's technique you're you're not technically buying the stuff for him you're using his money to buy this stuff for him because like you can't realistically charge that amount of money for the for the uh for the house that you're giving him so after a couple months she kicks you out and all right she kicks him out she kicks she kicks him out and so so how does he end up at your place that's what i want to know because because like i'm gonna be honest he eventually gets tired of it if i'd only known this dude in rents a place i can't see letting him come live with me how is it that you're letting this guy live he um he eventually gets tired of me he goes and rents a place and um he bounces a check um the check he has like four checks come back on him he has like
Starting point is 03:10:12 the deposit check which is like a thousand bucks the light check the water check and like um a check he wrote at some gas station so all four of those bounce and then my mother starts feeling bad for him because like he didn't really know what to do here because he's like a 70-year-old man. You know, he's had a stroke. He doesn't have a car. He doesn't even have a license because of said stroke. So – and he's about to be evicted from the place that he went to rent because he broke bad checks to get out of there to get away from grandma. So mama goes, come live with us well she she moves him into
Starting point is 03:10:48 here since we have five bedrooms and till we can find him a place and get him somewhere so he can be stable again because he's pretty much been transplanted from where he was at to down here and he knows nobody down here so so that works so we get him in here and then grandma goes ballistic about that and then she starts out with this building stuff. Like there's a building on the property, and she wants to throw his stuff out of the building because we took all the stuff that he had left, and we put it out there in the building to keep it in storage because there's no room for it in the house. And real quick, this is over the course of one week.
Starting point is 03:11:21 This is over the course of about a week, week and a half. of one week this is over the course of about a week week and a half my god that that's a quick you know descent into a terrible situation so what's this guy's name again uh jim williams what kind of engine you said he was an engineer what's what do you do ac what he did okay what he did was like like when big buildings would go online like these box store buildings, he would design the systems that would go into the building like the duct work and where the air conditioners would be placed and things of that nature. Okay. So like kind of like a civil engineer I guess. Yeah, I don't know what his job title is. I never really ask him because every time I ask him about anything, he wants to cry about how he loved grandma and he don't know what he did or wrong i mean that's all i can get out of him but grandma doesn't want the stuff his stuff in her building so she calls the law on us and the law comes back out well not me personally but my mother uh-huh um so they go through that and then mother busts
Starting point is 03:12:22 out the landies and shows the law this and he basically tells her that she can't keep calling him out here. He's going to – there's something that they can arrest you for if you keep abusing the police. I don't know what it is off the top of my head. Wasting their false report. Yeah, false report. I kind of want to meet this guy now. Is there any chance we get him on video sometime? It's midnight, dude.
Starting point is 03:12:44 Oh, yeah. I'm not talking about now. I know it's too late now. He's okay. He's asleep. We group her up for all your videos. I'd love to get him on video and get his perspective of the thing because I think your grandma did him wrong. That's what it sounds like.
Starting point is 03:12:57 But also, he needs a nickname, though. Yes. Yeah. Hopefully, he moves out. This is going to be his nickname Jim who used to live here this sucks for you because you had nothing to do with the
Starting point is 03:13:13 forming of any of this and now it sounds like you're the guy who's kind of trying to take the high road I ended up getting a 70 year old man dumped on me I'm like dude I can't take care of myself this is like always sunny you got an old man it's me i'm like dude i can't take this is like always sunny yeah it is and you got an old man it's like i just all of a sudden inherited one he just he just fell into an
Starting point is 03:13:32 old man situation as you do you know i don't know how many times i've been you know just going about life and it just worked out so i had an old man living at my house there's an old guy to try just a friendly transient along for the ride. All right. So that's great. It escalated to the point where my mother just got tired of it. That was a straw that broke the camel's back. Grandma does this about three times a year.
Starting point is 03:13:54 She'll just become belligerent and want to fight with people. And she does it because she's bored. And she only has a sixth grade education. And she doesn't know how to convey her feelings properly. She can't go, I'm unhappy with the situation I'm in. Is there anything you can do to help? She will look for something spiteful to do and push that button. That's how she does it.
Starting point is 03:14:15 Is this one of the worst times she's done it, or is this just another part of the course? I think it's just the one that broke the back. So Mama packed up and left. Is your mom still pretty close even when she does pack up and leave like still oh she's in driving distance she didn't like move to another state or something but like she packed up and moved in with her boyfriend so it's just me and jim now so it's like whatever i was picturing i paid the share of the bills regardless so it's not like a huge money hit i was picturing you helping out some dude who was like 43, 44, and that seemed so fucking ridiculous to me. But then to imagine this old man.
Starting point is 03:14:52 It's like, you really can't just be like, oh, are you in a tough spot, you senior citizen? Fuck off. You have to be there to help. I don't know you know so you're i don't know how to phrase this and i don't know how to say it nicely so please just understand that this is a little uh not not very delicate i have a special skill that dr chiz admires and that i can spot fetal alcohol syndrome a mile away. He is. Your grandmother is. Do you know that?
Starting point is 03:15:27 Oh, no. Oh. What is fetal alcohol syndrome? Can you explain that? It's when her mom drank while she was pregnant. And there's a bunch of symptoms. The one that jumps out at me the most is the smooth philtrum, small head, small eye openings, low nasal bridge, small nose.
Starting point is 03:15:44 Yeah, low nasal bridge is a big one you can tell all that by somebody drinking while the baby's being formed yeah if you look up fetal alcohol syndrome it'll show super specific points i didn't notice that uh what do you say look i can only explain my my family tree as redneck that's the word i would describe them yeah i look at your like it's a thing that jumps out at me i I'll just watch. Like I look at people, whatever, and like I'll see some – I saw a girl on Reddit like dancing too slutty on a boat. You know how you see like a million times all these like – for some reason there's boat parties where all of a sudden like everyone has a boat
Starting point is 03:16:17 and this girl is dancing to music. And I'm like, yep, fine, fine, fine, fetal alcohol syndrome, fine, fine, fine, fetal alcohol syndrome. So there's something you'd look for. Oh, yeah. I can spot it a mile away. He's always looking for genetic impurities. He's like the next generation Hitler. Yeah, no.
Starting point is 03:16:32 Some of these are just – He might have a position in Trump's cabinet. So, yeah. I don't want to get down that murky road. I'm glad we got this update about Jim and everything. I now as well feel sorry for Jim. It feels like gangster grandma swooped in and emptied I now as well feel sorry for Jim. It feels like Gangster Grandma swooped in and emptied his pockets
Starting point is 03:16:48 as it were. She pumps them and dumps them, that Gangster Grandma. But I wanted to tell you about this. Taylor got me into this game called Age of Mythology. It's an RTS. I've been really enjoying it. I've put a lot of hours into it.
Starting point is 03:17:04 That's really taught me. I'm sure you know, one RTS is in some ways much like all the others. The same basis. Yes, exactly. In the same way, first-person shooters are all inherently similar. You're building an economy, you're building a military, a lot of macro. Macro and micro in an economy.
Starting point is 03:17:23 The base management is essentially the same, but then you have, like, units and how units are balanced are different. Of course, of course. So I started... I downloaded StarCraft II. Started playing as Zerg. I've been, like, learning as I go
Starting point is 03:17:35 and watching some YouTube videos. I want to play some StarCraft with you, and I think you should play some Age of Mythology with us because I think you would love that fucking game. Which StarCraft do you have? Do you have all the way to the Void? All right. So I think you would love that fucking game. Do you have all the way to The Void? I think Starcraft 2 is free.
Starting point is 03:17:49 We both have the free version of 2. It's $60 to get everything, I think, and I'm willing to do that if we can play some games together, but Age of Mythology is $35, and I'm telling you, that shit is so much fun, dude. It's like Greek gods are the basis for each race.
Starting point is 03:18:07 The races are very different and there's a lot of myth units in there. I know you like mythological shit. There's like Minotaurs and Cyclopses and Valkyries. I got Civilization. We still haven't played that, Kyle. You trying to get another game? The problem with Civilization is
Starting point is 03:18:23 a full game of Civ and for you to get good at Civ would take weeks. Whereas I feel like with one of these really quick RTSs, you can get a dozen games in in a four or five hour playing session and you learn so much faster. I feel like Wings watches
Starting point is 03:18:40 a couple of YouTube videos. And he's up to speed. If Wings watches that 4 minute and 30 second Aranos setup thing, I bet Wings watches three YouTube videos. It's not like compared to
Starting point is 03:18:52 running a Zerg patch. Well, StarCraft 2 Zerg is much different than StarCraft Zerg 2. Yeah, I've only really played StarCraft. StarCraft 2, the reason it didn't catch on
Starting point is 03:19:03 is because they made it a lot more new player friendly like um which it sounds stupid it does sound stupid on the whole outside that the whole like community would revolt against having like your hot keys being all one side of the keyboard but like in high levelCraft play, being able to manage the entire keyboard was one of the skills. That makes sense. For example, in StarCraft 2, if you want to build a Marine, the A button builds your Marines. In StarCraft 1, the M button builds your Marines.
Starting point is 03:19:37 You get to change your hand all the way over. You can switch it. You can still use that old system if you'd like. Yeah, you can. You can, but I'm just saying there's a difference between old Zerg and new Zerg. When was the last time you played either StarCraft game? I've never played StarCraft 2 against people. But I was a damn near semi-pro in StarCraft 1. I liked the way you were saying they make it more noob-friendly. The only StarCraft 1 I ever played way, like, what you were saying, they make it more
Starting point is 03:20:05 noob-friendly. Like, the only Starcraft 1 I ever played was at a friend's house, and he only had one PC, and so it was near when it came out, a couple years after, and so I could only play online people. And of the, like, four games of online I played, not one of them even approached
Starting point is 03:20:21 fun, because I was just getting shit on so hard. Like, I couldn't... hard. They got leagues in StarCraft 2 though as well. Say for example if Kyle was to start playing StarCraft 2 and say he would get to like a silver league or a gold league and I started playing and I started in as
Starting point is 03:20:39 a bronze, I couldn't play Kyle unless it was like 100% private. Yeah, that's what I want to do anyway. As a bronze. Sorry, go ahead, Kyle. Yeah, I don't care about any sort of in-game, in-battlenet rankings, anything of that sort. When we play AORM, we're mostly playing with either fans or AI or a combination
Starting point is 03:20:56 of the two. I'm just playing for fun. I don't care about any leagues or competitive bullshit. I want to get good enough to compete with my friends. I don't really care about the world at large. If we get wings on Age of Mythology, because what me and Kyle do is, it'll basically be a lobby with me, him,
Starting point is 03:21:12 and three or four other people in it, and we just do he and I versus everyone else every time. And we win the overwhelming majority of the time. No, against all the subscribers and people who are on the game. So people who just buy the game and don't know what they're doing. A couple of them are really...
Starting point is 03:21:28 Most of them are really, really good. You're going to run into that one guy that's a fucking freak. Yeah, and then there's a couple of guys who are pretty good, and then a couple of them are getting better really fast. Yeah, it's starting to get to the point where we can't play against four of them at once. But I feel like I can play against two. Does Peter Baelish play with you guys? All right, let me talk about this motherfucker. Okay I okay let me say I didn't know anything about this
Starting point is 03:21:48 guy but as soon as he joined okay all right so here's the here's the story on Peter Bayless he played Siv with us a lot his name is Peter Bayless which is of course his little finger in Game of Thrones his avatar is little finger and so when I picture him in my mind he is a little finger he is a conniving little wormy motherfucker and he plays that way and not to his betterment or anyone else's it's not like he wins games by playing like a douche he ruins games for everyone by playing like is it the actual peter balish no it's it's a fucking fan who like goes by that moniker and so so of course there were some issues where like he just beat us in games and you know whatever i'm not gonna hold that against somebody i've been beaten plenty of times but i remember one particular time he beat us and that and that kind of made me remember
Starting point is 03:22:33 his name um but later on it was your idea to do that but later on you say he plays dirty but doesn't win and stuff like i'm trying to understand what he's doing in a game. So we were playing a game with Filthy, I think six person free for all, and it became very clear that two of the opponents in the game had partnered together in an effort to simply destroy Filthy.
Starting point is 03:23:01 If you can picture this. Two out of the six had, they're basically saying, I don't care if I win or lose, I'm going to make sure Filthy loses. So they're double teaming Filthy, if you can picture this. Two out of the six had, they're basically saying, I don't care if I win or lose, I'm going to make sure Filthy loses. So they're double teaming Filthy. So that seems kind of shitty. You know, so Chiz, myself, and supposedly Peter Baelish were trying to get behind Filthy to try to push him to victory because it seemed like he was the guy punching up against two
Starting point is 03:23:22 players who were only trying to beat him because this was the only way they can beat him because he's amazing. And so we were like, yeah, let's pitch everything behind Filthy, and we can push those two guys back, kill them, and then, hey, maybe we turn around and kill Filthy and may the best man win after that, you know? Like, at least give ourselves some semblance of a chance because, as is, we can't deal with this two-man force over here peter bayliss the whole time claims he's going along with us in reality he's wasting resources on an avenue that's not going to give him the win and he lost the game for all
Starting point is 03:23:54 of us and in the end those two players just won i think it was just he ruined the game and and look it's not a 20-minute cod game it's not a 45-minute ageD game. It's not a 45-minute Age of Mythology game. It was a 12-hour game that began at 9 a.m. in the morning that I got up for, like I drank two cups of coffee before, you know. There's a whole square on the calendar that you need for that game, and that square is wasted. What did he do in Age of Mythology that pissed you off, or was it just residual hate?
Starting point is 03:24:22 Why don't you play with him if you don't like him? Well, yeah. He's too polite. I don't know. It's too polite, I guess. Although last game, we had like seven players, and we only needed six. And I was like, I've got good news.
Starting point is 03:24:36 I'm typing this to the group. I'm like, I've got good news and bad news. Good news is we're going to play Helm's Deep Scenario. It's amazing. And we get to play it just like from the movies. Bad news is one of you's got to go. And everyone's like, oh no, not me, not me.
Starting point is 03:24:51 I'm like, hang on a second, let me flip my magic coin. And I just kind of go, it's Peter. See ya, Peter. And he knows the deal. He knows he's semi-hated. I respect his play sometimes. I've seen him do smart things in-game. But for the most part, you're kind of a fucking asshole.
Starting point is 03:25:11 And I don't care for you. Yeah, I hope you are. You earned your infamy. You're a cocksucker. And you play games in a shitty fashion that I don't care for. And so, if you're around and we need an extra player... You would hate to play me in StarCraft, Kyle. No, I wouldn't.
Starting point is 03:25:26 I mean, if you're playing to win, it's all about playing to win. If you're coming to me... See, like, when you agreed to face me in StarCraft back in the day and I didn't have any... and I was not... I was really rusty at it, I was like, alright,
Starting point is 03:25:36 I'm gonna cliff tank this motherfucker and that's gonna be it. I'm sure... I don't know what that means, but I'm sure it's some sort of, like, quick, rushy maneuver that... No, no, no, no, no. What it is, you pick Terran and you just shut off routes out of their base with tanks
Starting point is 03:25:49 Yeah, yeah, you just defend against it is a war of attrition Sure a new tactic of some kind that that's easy to pull off or difficult to counter by especially by somebody that's new that makes sense That would be really shitty of you I mean that's what to me when you say he's a filthy player, I'm like, he's the kind of player that will use those tactics that are hard to beat, but very easy to execute. Because we're introducing me to the game.
Starting point is 03:26:13 Just like if I were introducing you to Age of Mythology, I wouldn't hit you five minutes into the game with an Oranos Valor Rush, you know? I wouldn't play my A game like I'm coming at you like an equal. I would play my sit back and turtle up game while you learn the ways of age and mythology. You just build your economy and nobody's going to want to play with you if you
Starting point is 03:26:34 rush them around. You guys are talking about this and I only have a short amount of time here with you. What do you think about New York? I know you've probably already done politics in the show. I think Anthony is going to take him down in the first round. I think Bernie really needs to win the state. He does need to win the state. That's a given.
Starting point is 03:26:53 I'm thinking, what do you think the outcome is? All right, so I feel like if Bernie doesn't win this, then his only other chance is if Hillary is indicted. I feel like that's it, in my opinion. Hillary's not getting indicted. Okay, well, you heard it first. I mean, he has to win the state, and he has to win the state by 20 points. I mean, he's not going to.
Starting point is 03:27:10 He's not even winning the polls. The polls would have to be wrong by like 35 points for him to get what he needs. So he's done. And it's a closed primary or whatever you call it. It's a closed election. So the independents, the Republicansans can't vote. Only the democrats. And the deadline to switch, if you wanted to, was back in October of last year, August of
Starting point is 03:27:29 last year. Something like that. Look, I like Sanders. He's my second favorite candidate that we have to choose from in this current pool of turds and douches. But I just don't think he's... I feel like Trump is a more realistic option to beat Hillary. I don't think Trump is going to be the nominee.
Starting point is 03:27:47 I'm going to call it right now. I'm going to call it right here. Everybody wait up. Kasich is going to be the nominee. That's not going to happen. It is. They're going to go to a contested convention. Remember, Ted Cruz is a Tea Party guy, and all the Republicans hate Trump.
Starting point is 03:28:01 But Trump might get it. But they're either going to put Kasich in there or they're going to put in Paul Ryan. Paul Ryan's not. He literally came out yesterday and was like, I want to state this emphatically. I'm not... He's like, I'm not running for the office of president. I had that opportunity.
Starting point is 03:28:19 Hillary's going to beat whatever Republican they put up anyway. We'll see. Hillary is a gaffe machine, and if you get somebody out there to get her off her center and get her speaking off the cuff, and I feel like Trump can do that.
Starting point is 03:28:34 Trump can make it look silly up there. I'm not trying to lose to Hillary, though, Kyle. Hillary is essentially Obama 3.0, so the black people love her. Look, Hillary looks okay right now because she's running against somebody who doesn't actually attack her. Sanders is running a campaign that inspires some people because it's so kind and gentle and nice, but it loses. When she goes against Trump, he is going to be... Trump knocked off Jeb Bush.
Starting point is 03:29:03 He knocked off Kasich, really. He's going to beat Cruz. He knocked off Paul – who am I looking for? Marco Rubio. Rubio, but Rubio's on the list. I'm looking for Ron Paul's son. Ryan Paul, maybe? Rand Paul.
Starting point is 03:29:16 Rand Paul, thank you. He knocked off Rand Paul. He knocked off everybody, right? Rand Paul wasn't even in the race. Hillary looks her best right now because she's running against a sweetheart. When she starts running against someone who punches back, she is going to look
Starting point is 03:29:31 terrible, right? When Hillary's identity stops becoming the senator from New York, Bill Clinton's wife, and starts becoming a fat, ugly whore who's been evil her entire life, know when you start seeing trump tweeting memes of her with horns and fire coming out of her nose and her whatever can i can i can i point
Starting point is 03:29:54 out something though all right in a political process you have certain states are almost always a given for example new york and california are almost always going blue texas is almost always going red. Most of the southern states are going to go red. All Hillary has to do is win two or three of the southern states and win in some of the states that Ted Cruz won in, such as like Iowa, Wisconsin, and places like that, which is very easy to do for a Democrat. Because Wisconsin is like a state that flip-flops red or blue. All you've got to do is win those two or three key states, and you've got it. And women hate Trump.
Starting point is 03:30:33 Black people hate Trump. Latin people hate Trump. Trump is pretty much an old white candidate. And I don't think he's got the numbers to back it. For people who maybe aren't Americans and don't know this already, there's red states that are Republicans, blue states that are Democrats, and purple states that are swing states. They could go either way. The thing is, there's so many more blue states than red states that the Republicans have to, like, shoot the moon. They have to get almost all the purples to go to their side to win.
Starting point is 03:31:01 Because if you just look at the reds and blues the democrats are practically winning already they just need you know three out of the seven purples or that's a lot you know two out of the seven purples and they win so he's right the democrats are most likely going to be the next president all i'm saying is hillary is going to look so much worse if she runs against trump because trump will make her look awful she doesn't even have a nickname yet. She's not Lion Ted or Low Energy Jeb, right? Wait until she's like corrupt Hillary.
Starting point is 03:31:32 I can tell you how Trump wins the White House, though. If Sanders runs as an independent, Trump wins the White House. Yeah, I guess they'll split up the Democrats. For me, I won't vote Hillary. I'm not going to vote Hillary. No, I wouldn they'll split up the Democrats. No. Because for me, I won't vote Hillary. I'm not going to vote Hillary.
Starting point is 03:31:48 No. Because to me, Hillary is not a Democrat. Hillary is a light Republican. I mean, she has Republican policies, but she kind of leans a little bit further to the left. If you went back to the day of Abraham Lincoln, Hillary would be a Republican. So it's like... My politics knowledge gets sketchy if you went back to day of like abraham lincoln hillary would be a republican so it's like my politics knowledge gets sketchy if you go back that far but she's probably as far right as like reagan is you know reagan wouldn't be much of a republican nowadays
Starting point is 03:32:16 yeah abraham lincoln was a republican yeah right abraham was a republican but you know he also set the slaves free that's just what what I was saying, that Hillary Clinton would fit right in the Republican party if you went that far back. Yeah. Well, any of the politicians nowadays would, because they'd all freed the slaves, and that was, you know, Democrats weren't all about that back then. So, here's what I was saying before you got on the show, we talked about this, and I was like, the only honest way to support Sanders is if you think you're going to lose.
Starting point is 03:32:46 Right? And that is, like, so if socialism comes around, there's going to be winners and losers in this redistribution thing. And if you think you'll do better under socialism, then really what you're trying to do is take from the achievers to line your own pockets. No. the achievers to line your own pockets? No. Alright, first off, you're older than me, Woody, so you should know this.
Starting point is 03:33:13 Back in the day, rich people were taxed after $10 million at 95%. This is... It did. Eisenhower knocked it down to 75%, and it slowly went down there were so many tax deductions back in that day that it wasn't the same you know you'd create this is after 10 million dollars you know it's a scale you just make fake partnerships that have like cash gains
Starting point is 03:33:36 and tax losses i mean even during like carter's day there was a 70 tax rate and everyone had these like crazy funds and losses and stuff that like even if your business made money you'd be able to lose money in the books the point i'm trying to make is these fake tax rates that they pull out from the back were never really what they say they were when there was a 70% tax rate you didn't pay it there's some companies that didn't escape that fake tax rate and we lived in a a paradise i don't know which i'm just saying like every company doesn't get those tax rates like for example like when machinima boomed me and you were paying like 40 or 50 percent tax rates on our money i mean if we were donald trump we wouldn't be paying 40 or
Starting point is 03:34:16 50 percent tax rates because we would have all these like shell companies and things to funnel money through and launder money and we got the process down pat. But not everybody is Donald Trump. Not every company has these expensive accountants that do nothing but launder money and kind of clean money as it goes through a system. So there's going to be more money made out of taxes in a 95% era tax rate than there is in a 28.8% era tax rate, or 35% of the daystanders. And what I was saying is, when Trump goes, let's make America great again, he points, he doesn't really point out a specific time,
Starting point is 03:34:53 but I'm only going to assume he's mentioning the 50s, where the German auto industry was destroyed, Japan auto industry was nuked, America's car industry was booming, and everybody was paying taxes. You, buy a house and a new car every year on one salary. And all this came through because we had a good, strong social safety net. Well, I think it was more because the companies that would have competed were utterly crippled by the war, which meant that there was no competition. There's that, but also that we were building roads, we were building interstates, we were building up the infrastructure.
Starting point is 03:35:28 There was a lot more jobs to go around, and those jobs paid well. I think Taylor's onto something here. We literally blew up all the other countries while America wasn't involved in the war. I just said that. I know, but you also sort of assigned it to, well, taxes were really high and things were great, so if we could just make taxes higher again,
Starting point is 03:35:47 then that's really the core reason that our industries were thriving. Here's my core reason I want to go for a socialist type system. And you think it's got to be redistribution of wealth, which wealth does need to be redistributed. When your money, Kyle's money, Mirka's money, my money, Chiz's money, everything you see right now on the table is 2% of the total wealth. You need to redistribute it. now on the table is 2% of the total wealth, you need to redistribute it. When 160 people have 98% of the wealth, something's wrong. You know what I'm saying? You might need to redistribute it. And you're trying to say achievers. You used the word achiever just a minute ago. Do you think the children of Sam Walton are achievers? Let ask you this no so bill gates dad was wealthy right his father was worth like 20 million dollars if his dad was yours right if you were born in that
Starting point is 03:36:31 family would you be bill gates i wouldn't bill i wouldn't be the richest man in the world of all his money yeah i would not have made it to be the richest man in the world if my dad was worth 20 million like i get that he had a head start but head start or not how much you think donald trump's kids are worth what do you think a lot they all do they all do cool things his daughter married a billionaire so like i mean like i can't think of a better catch like like than a billionaire's hot daughter like i think ivanka's pretty fucking hot and the the Tiffany one, she's okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:37:07 I don't know. But do you think Donald Trump Jr. is this super achiever that the economy would fall apart if we didn't have? That guy looks like a real fucking doofus when you look at him. But I've heard him speak twice. Once to Sean Hannity, like a phone call interview, and once on CNN maybe or Fox News, I don't know. He is extremely well-spoken and intelligent, and he looks
Starting point is 03:37:30 like a real doofus. I know he does. He has a terrible look, and that is not the hairstyle when you have a face like that. Yeah, we're not talking about the look, Kyle. We're not talking about the look. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. What I'm talking about is like a lot of these people, like not everybody that has money is an achiever. They might do something great. They might run their father's company to a T just like he told them to do it.
Starting point is 03:37:49 And he, you know, it might constantly make money, but they were born with a money pipe already full blast. But on the same token, not everyone who's born or in a situation where they don't currently have funds available to them just ended up there, you know, because they fell off a ladder and, you know, they had to pay $600,000
Starting point is 03:38:06 for a new spine or some shit. Most people... It just seems like it's a really harsh dichotomy. One side's like, all those people who have money, they're not really heroes. That's the Sanders side. And then the other side that's so against it is all these people don't have money because they're just not working hard enough.
Starting point is 03:38:21 Because they fuck people out of their mortgages. Wait, what? I don't have money because they're just not working hard enough. Because they fuck people out of their mortgages. Wait, what? Are those achievers? I don't know, man. Back in 2008, you had people borrowing money off of the gains of bad mortgages, and then they would sell that money back for profit, the mortgages to other companies for profit, and eventually these mortgages started going belly up,
Starting point is 03:38:39 and it caused the crash of 2008. Yeah. Are everybody that became millionaires during that time, are they all super achievers? No, of course not. That's a differentiation to make. Here, you think of every millionaire as a Justin Bieber,
Starting point is 03:38:53 somebody that worked hard at their craft, put in the hours, and then gained success. That's not always the case either. That's the overwhelming majority I would say. Especially when we talk about millionaire. We're not talking about billionaire. We're not talking about 100 millionaire. If you talk about the people who have
Starting point is 03:39:09 less than 5 million, they probably started a business. It was successful. They worked all the time. I haven't had a day off in six years. More likely than not. You also, under Bernie Sanders tax plan, would not be adversely hit on.
Starting point is 03:39:26 And you wouldn't have it any other way. Because you don't make $10 million a year, would you? Not yet. You would absolutely have to. Everybody would have to pay. I mean, so if you started making $10 million a year, you'd be adverse to paying like 20% more taxes. Hey, we're about to start the crusher, all right?
Starting point is 03:39:39 And when the crusher hits the scene, $10 million a year is going to be chump change. I'll be the richest one on this call. I'm just saying this. I'm just saying this. It's good to have rich people, and rich people deserve to be rich if they work for it. They do. But on the side note is when you have companies like Walmart, you have companies like the pharmaceutical people, people like Mark Shkreli that are just laundering and leasing people for their money
Starting point is 03:40:05 because they can. When you have companies like McDonald's that won't pay their workers a fair wage, when you have companies like Walmart that get it coming and going, they pay their employees so little that the government has to subsidize them with food stamps. And then the people turn around and use the food stamps in their company. And this is the biggest company in America right now. And as soon as they have to Walmart pays their people exactly what they're worth. And as soon as they have to pay 1% more taxes, they're ready to run from the country. 1%. That's not his plan. So look, what you do is you say, hey, everyone deserves $15 an hour, right?
Starting point is 03:40:35 Every man, woman, and child who has a job, well, that's what Sanders says, deserves $30,000 a year. That's what $15 an hour is after two weeks off. He put $15 up there, but he said they need a livable wage. 15 could increase. Not every job. If the person that's pouring your coffee at Starbucks has to feed kids too. They do. And even if everybody went to school and everybody was a wonderful achiever,
Starting point is 03:40:59 somebody has to dig the ditches. Okay, hold on a second. Capitalism requires people to make more of themselves than a barista. Crony capitalism. That's what. We're trying to go to a socialist. Crony capitalism means that you hire people who are your friends instead of a meritocracy. But you don't all get to make $30,000 a year if you're not worth that.
Starting point is 03:41:23 It's supply and demand determines wages. Who determines what's worth $ if there's so many it's supply and demand 30 grand though supply and demand determines it just like it determines the price on everything else it also includes human capitalism doesn't work unless it's in an enclosed system i think what you don't realize is that if you make the minimum wage 15 an hour then people are guaranteed to lose those jobs right the fries and mcdonald's will make themselves because at $15 an hour, it's cheaper that way. You got to put government regulation on it. Okay. So here's the thing. When you take the government and you have it mandate how things are run, right? It's protectionism that is so strong, right? Like, all right, now this is forced to be done in the US. It's forced to do that. If the government starts regulating how these things do, instead of allowing these companies
Starting point is 03:42:03 or forcing these companies, I should say, to compete on their own merits, you get what happened to Russia, right? Hold on a second. What about the Finnish companies? When the Iron Curtain dropped and we looked inside what was Russia, it looked like it was the 50s. Their cars were old-fashioned while ours were electronically fuel-injected. Their tractors and tanks and all the crap they had their their farmers were shit you want to know why because they weren't forced to compete on prices next to others like the American farmers are the level with us in any way you're trying
Starting point is 03:42:36 to say you're trying to say keep staying up to date with other countries that have like this thing I'm just looking about it trees like wait look at the competition competition is what the entire universe is about. Look at how evolution works. No, hang on. Just look at how evolution works. It's the survival of the fittest. And if we start changing that,
Starting point is 03:42:56 then it's going to be the survival of the shittiest. It's really difficult for me to think that entity that can't get the mail delivered correctly, that can't fix the roads in a reasonable manner, that can't do anything, needs more control and needs to have its hand in more cookie jars. It already can't handle what it's been tasked with. Yeah, but Taylor, let's look at it this way. Let's look at it this way.
Starting point is 03:43:19 There's a guy in my house right now, 70 years old. He could have a massive heart attack right now. And the closest hospital to me is a memorial center. And if I wanted to get him to a hospital that had to take him by the 1986 Medical Act, I'd have to drive 35 miles to get there because the hospital wouldn't take him, that I'm closest to. So even if I found a hospital and he survived he's now hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and to say you're using russia as an example russia could be a bad example as far as i know because the finnish countries have a 21 an hour minimum wage and they're not fucking falling apart here's the thing if you're 70 years old and you live in America and you're not a millionaire, then you're bad with money.
Starting point is 03:44:06 Right? So you should die? Listen, this guy worked in the HVAC industry his entire life. It is filled with money. I swear to God, those fuckers are so rich. And unlike every other contractor in the planet, they get paid up front before they do anything. You write the check, then they do the work. Unlike everyone else.
Starting point is 03:44:24 This guy could win the lottery and he would be poor in no time at all just like so many lottery winners if you live in america and you're 70 and you don't have a million bucks then you haven't you just haven't been smart with your money but you're under your idea you should just die right nobody should care about you you should take you should be able to take care of yourself i understand that i get the cruelty like thirty thousand dollars and it's cruelty it's just like martin squarelli that's capitalism i need those drugs now to pay 750 a bottle i'm not even completely against socialized medicine medicine really like i think it might be a good i don't
Starting point is 03:45:02 care about wage increase and everything i won't free help there are so many other things in sanders platform that have to do with like just fucking the rich like oh do you make too much fuck you were taking your money do you you know inherit fuck you were taking your money taxes taxes by themselves initially is taking money regardless of who it's from if you're need more money, do you take it from the poor, or do you take it from people that have an excess of it? But he's giving it to everyone. Maybe you shut down a government program that doesn't work and is a waste of money, or maybe have a few more auditors
Starting point is 03:45:33 that go into government buildings and say, hey, you don't actually need all this funding. Name a government program that doesn't work. The military. The military, I will agree with you there, but the military does have a purpose. It works, actually. It doesn't need to be where it is. It's just not cost effective. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 03:45:48 Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I don't want to live in a country where this is a right, but health care is a privilege. What? No, I definitely want to live in a country where that's a right. But health care is a privilege. I'd rather have health care be a right instead of guns. At this age, I prefer guns.
Starting point is 03:46:07 Ask me when I'm 75. You know, with a gun, you can force someone to give you healthcare. I've seen that in the movies. I'm bleeding bad. Works out well. Then you get to see what human incarceration is all about. More free healthcare.
Starting point is 03:46:23 More free healthcare. No, the issue is not the healthcare for me like i'm not even completely against that whatever um i'm not even against it at all the issue is the rest of the safety nets he wants to put around everything the minimum wage hikes the taxes the free school like a lot of this really concerns me you know when college tuition becomes free a lot of people that are on the fence about whether or not they give a shit about their education will take it. You know, like,
Starting point is 03:46:49 I've been on autopilot for 12 years now. I guess I'll go to 13th grade. And that's not good. But it works in Germany. It made Germany the most, it made Germany the most vibrant economy in the world. Oh, yes.
Starting point is 03:47:01 If only the American economy could catch up to Germany's. Yeah. They're horseshit compared to us. Yeah. Oh yes, if only the American economy could catch up to Germany's. Yeah. They're horseshit compared to us. How many Germany's would you need to make just the west coast of the United States as far as economic productivity?
Starting point is 03:47:16 Unless you count Hollywood, there's not very many people in the west coast. Silicon Valley? We should really be talking about crushing things, getting our asses fingered, shitting in mailboxes. You done with the politics? The last time you bombed it on a living thing. You guys have such a slow vision.
Starting point is 03:47:32 You gotta take care of everybody around you. I find people that don't. No, you don't. No, you do not. I don't take care of it. Taylor, let me ask you this question. There's three people I fucking take care of. Let me ask you this question, Taylor.
Starting point is 03:47:45 How are you forming that opinion? How am I forming it? You just said you don't have to take care of people around you. How did you come to that opinion? You came from education, right? Well, you said you have to help everyone around you. Right, you should. You should have to help everyone around you.
Starting point is 03:48:01 Because guess what? Guess what, Taylor? Because everybody believed that you were when they paid for your education. He grabbed my arm and he kind of like clipped his teeth at me. When they paid for your socialist education, Taylor, they believed in you. They believed in me? Wings, what are you saying? What does that even mean that you have to help everybody around you? People want to say socialism is going to be the downfall of everything.
Starting point is 03:48:21 As it always is. All our education is socialist. Only so far. We're not trying to turn ourselves into China. We're trying to turn ourselves into a capitalism with a social safety net. Like you have a safety net, so if you fall,
Starting point is 03:48:34 you're not going to be ran over by a car or some shit. Ideally, you're 100% right. It would be... I think everyone in principle is like, yeah, everyone ideally should be able to go to the hospital, get free care. ideally should be able to go to the hospital get free care everyone should be able to go to the the local university and get free
Starting point is 03:48:50 education but it's just a matter of is you can find tool stuff you realize this though someone into it how about a minimum salary you know what if you don't feel like working and you'd rather be a beach bum right so minimum salary for everyone they shouldn't be able to say woody oh hey i'm the government i'm mr government
Starting point is 03:49:08 woody i know you're running a business there you're trying to do this actually as it turns out um everybody on your payroll now no more no more of this you know twenty eight thousand dollars a year for you know 30 hours a week you're gonna pay them twenty one dollars an hour because that's what they're worth and you're saying I can't fucking afford that. I have too many people. I can't. Oh, well, that's too bad. According to me, if you were running a sound enough business, you'd be able to abide by these arbitrary constructs. You'd cut some.
Starting point is 03:49:34 Fair. You'd cut some, but they'd get jobs somewhere else. I'm sorry. They could go back to college. It's free. They could go back to college. They could go into these road work jobs that Sanders is talking about. Rebuilding the roads, rebuilding the bridges, infrastructure. Who's paying for that? The same money everywhere else, Wall Street dividends.
Starting point is 03:49:53 Wall Street dividends. I'm glad there's $18 trillion of that to go around. Look, at least Donald Trump has a plan. Look, Donald Trump's plan. You guys act like Trump. Shut up, you. I'm going to tell you. Here's what Trump's going to do. He's going to build the wall.
Starting point is 03:50:11 Apparently there's like $25 billion that gets wired by Mexican nationals back to Mexico every year. He's going to lock that shit down. That's his plan. And he's going to say, Mexico, we'll turn the faucet back on when you pay for the wall. He's going to turn off the $25 billion a year faucet. The wall's going to say, hey Mexico, we'll turn the faucet back on when you pay for the wall.
Starting point is 03:50:27 He's going to turn off the $25 billion a year faucet. The wall's going to be fucking pointless. Now look, there are a lot of walls around the world that keep out a lot of bad people. And they work, and they have worked, and they continue to work. Kyle, name one time in history that a great wall has stopped anything. You know, I found it interesting that the Pope went on and on about Trump's wall. Have you ever seen what the exterior of the Vatican looks like? That country within a fucking country?
Starting point is 03:50:52 It's a giant fucking wall. It's a giant fucking wall. It might be the world's biggest, scariest wall. You know why the Vatican wall works and Trump's wall won't, though, Kyle? Let me tell you why it won't work. The Vatican's wall most likely has a guy with a gun on top of it.
Starting point is 03:51:06 Trump's wall stretches like 1,200 miles or something like that. You can't put a guy on a gun on top of it. We'll have helicopters with guns. Bullshit. You only need more people than Vatican City. I mean, if that's the case, you just need to stand a guy out at the Texas border with a gun every three feet.
Starting point is 03:51:21 They already do that. I know some people who are... They already get through, too, because most people that come into our country come through it legally, not through a wall. Every three feet. If there's a guy every 30 feet or something across the border, they are not sneaking their way through. Shoulder to shoulder. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:51:37 I'm telling you, the wall is a stupid idea. It's a complete waste of money. Why is it stupid? I feel like if you were... Here's what it might do. Here's what it might do at the very least. The portions of the wall that are around these border cities that are seeing these influxes
Starting point is 03:51:50 of illegal immigrants coming over who turn out to be criminals and rapists. And it does happen. Everybody hates that he says it, but it's happening. All illegal immigrants have committed at least one crime. They get rapey. Yes, absolutely. That's not what he means. It's not what he means. Just by coming, they became a criminal.
Starting point is 03:52:07 That's what I mean, yeah. Those criminals by virtue of their... Those slow folk out there listening. Let me tell you something. I've ridden with you in a car. You break laws. You're a criminal. That's... Remember that time you broke into Canada
Starting point is 03:52:23 illegally and then started siphoning resources from their socialized medicine system and took advantage of their hospitality there for years until eventually you went back and left. First off, Taylor, first off, you act like Mexicans that are illegal get free health care. No, of course. Do they go to an ER? No. They go to an ER, they get the same health care you would get, Kyle, though.
Starting point is 03:52:42 Why? Why do they? You should let them them out in the streets Well, because people don't like dead bodies laying in front of the hospital doors when they go pay for the service It's wrong that Mexican. I'll tell you like I Because if you make them prove citizenship when they're injured then citizens will die too. They'll be like oopsie-daisy You know what if I get away? Daisy you know what if I get away that's very good what if I went out to work or happy Civil War happened and it's happened 60
Starting point is 03:53:08 I instantly tell he is a Mexican or you were mister one of the questions on the test oh no when I go back to school I mean it's on the citizenship test what was the question but the Civil War started oh I don't have to take that. I was born here. When it started. It began at night. Either 60 or 61, right? 64. No, that's not right, Wings. It might not be right.
Starting point is 03:53:40 Oh, you had such conviction there. There's other questions. Like 60 to 65. 66. It's something like that like 60 to 60 66 and something like that 61 to 65 Yeah, I was right it ends in 65. We were both right. Yeah, I Wasn't wrong. I didn't say shit Regardless most people want I vote to. I vote to decitizenize Wings of Redemption. I second.
Starting point is 03:54:07 All in favor say aye. Wings had a job skill. I do not think that citizenship is something that can be prevented. If Wings had a job skill and health, I would renounce my citizenship and move to a Finnish country. Here's the thing. I just worry that if we do too much of a giveaway, a couple things happen. It makes it even more tempting to hide your money, right, in like Panama, for example. It makes it more tempting to outsource jobs. It makes it more tempting to automate jobs.
Starting point is 03:54:31 And it protects the country's businesses in a way that stops them from being competitive. Those are my real concerns. I'm worried about small business. You know what my concerns are, Woody? Getting free health care for Jim. James doesn't know what he's talking about, and? Getting free health care for Jim. There's somebody on subreddit that says, Bings doesn't know what he's talking about, and I want to address you right now.
Starting point is 03:54:47 All the people that are going to comment on the subreddit, I might not know what I'm talking about sometimes, but when you comment on it, I would like to let you know I wish you were sucking my fat dick because I hate your ass. I have two comments. One, I suspect they're going to say that you held yourself really well, 3v1. And two, I also wish I was sucking your fat dick. Oh, my gosh.
Starting point is 03:55:09 I guess you don't agree with Carolina's new laws then, Woody. No, I don't. Oh, my gosh. It's such an embarrassment. So there's these laws. It's like H-2B or H-B-2, one of those. H-B-2, House Bill 2. And what people know it as
Starting point is 03:55:26 is like the bathroom law. So they made it so that people who are... I'm going to mix this up because I suck at like the new gender. Transgender. It's transgender. If it's like transgender or gender spy or whatever. No, no.
Starting point is 03:55:40 It's not just transgender. I swear there's more to it than that. Let's say LGBT. No,bt doesn't cover it either but they're they're like cross trashes whatever you basically people it's no i swear there's more than just if it was just transgender i'd know it so okay i don't know you i would anyway they want people to be able to choose whatever bathroom they want to go to. Right. The people, the Republicans are like, no, you can't have men in women's bathrooms. That's not OK.
Starting point is 03:56:13 The other people are like, look, these guys are at high risk for suicide. They identify as women, even though they're men or vice, even though they were born a man or vice versa. You know, I have a heart. Let them go to whatever bathroom they want to, et cetera. But there's more to it. They also made it so that the state law, which says you can't issue – the state law, which says you got to go to the bathroom. You were born on your birth certificate. And you can't have any laws that project project i'm sorry protect lbgt rights
Starting point is 03:56:46 you can't have the city right supersede the state one so previously for example charlotte had a law that was really um like protective of leg of lesbian gay bi and trans right they had some laws that protected people now that law is no good because the state law says ours supersedes everybody else. I think you're missing a key point, Woody, in that. Because the bathroom was part of it, but they also issued a rule in there that would allow businesses to use a religious bias as a reason not to give services to a – I think that's – there's a bunch of things bundled in there The bathroom thing is the one that gets all the headlines But there's Businesses being religiously biased
Starting point is 03:57:29 States I'm sorry cities can't have protected things Like let's say for example if Domino's Manager was on duty and he's a Southern free will Baptist and he doesn't believe Gays and abomination and all He can choose not to serve you pizza At Domino's he couldn't
Starting point is 03:57:43 If it was Joe's Pizza Shack he could if he was Joe So the issue there Because what's happened is He can choose not to serve you pizza. Well, not at Domino's he couldn't. Yeah, that's not exactly true. If it was Joe's Pizza Shack, he could if he was Joe. So the issue there, because what's happened is there was that florist who was fined $150,000 because she didn't want to make an arrangement for a gay wedding. Now, you've got to think about it. It's not that she was unwilling to sell a product that she possessed. She was unwilling to create something with her hands to go out and design a thing and basically take part in something that she had a religious
Starting point is 03:58:11 objection to. Now, I'm 100% for gay marriage across the board. I don't see what the big fucking deal is and I can't understand it. I don't think she should have paid. I don't think she should have paid. That seems very unfair. You shouldn't be able to force me to contract for you. Now, if I'm the waitress... I think the reason she had to pay, though, is they wanted to make an example
Starting point is 03:58:28 of her. Like, for example... It's not the first time it's happened. When I was assistant manager of Domino's back when I was a little kid, we had... Not a little kid, but like a young man. We had the right to deny service for... We had the right to deny
Starting point is 03:58:43 service. We didn't have to give them a reason but I think the fact that she gave them a reason that they were gay is the reason she got burnt so badly like she said I'm not making you a cake I don't think that you should honestly that's not fair to her if it's her business like it's
Starting point is 03:58:59 murky because you feel like everybody should be able to get service everywhere but at the same time you shouldn't be able to go to someone and go hey this event you have to participate in it and you're also going to pay six figures for it so fuck you like it at the end of the day it is their business and if that gay couple went in there and was like i want you to make us a cake and they were like no we don't like gays they could go oh okay well i'm just going to go ahead and post this on facebook and we'll see how much longer your fucking bakery's around. See you later. Like, that's the response.
Starting point is 03:59:26 That's where capitalism is going to work. Most people don't want to go to bakeries where they hate gay people. Most people don't really give a fuck or think they're disgusted by it. I think the gays should be treated the same. There's some people who love bigoted bakeries, too, though. It goes both ways. I'm really torn on it, and I completely agree with you. On one hand—
Starting point is 03:59:42 It's not fair to make them do something they otherwise wouldn't with their business. Exactly. I'm big on the freedom issue of only having to do what you should do, right? You shouldn't force me to work for something I don't want to. On the other hand, I really – like as I play this out in my head, I'm like, oh, I could have a restaurant with, say, no black people or no green people or no Jewish people. Like, yeah, we just don't serve Jews here. And that's so obviously bad but i'm just saying like you know or golf business owner and you don't like black people like mormons think
Starting point is 04:00:10 black people are the devil yeah yeah yeah well they changed because they had to change so all of a sudden it's like is it is it worse to say okay business owner you're forced to like be this guy's accountant or whatever or is it worse to say you know like you can't discriminate right like that's not right but do you also forced like i don't know i'm torn it's one of those things where it's like when this is getting pushed the response is always like like because the people like this florist will be like well i don't want to have to make gay people cakes. And then the response is like, well, if you don't want to make them a cake, you don't have to.
Starting point is 04:00:51 Or if you don't want an abortion, don't get one. Or if you don't want gay marriage, don't get it. And then they come around and say like, well, I don't want to make you this gay cake. And they go, oh, really? Well, that thing we said before was a lie. You're going to make that cake and you're going to pay me $600,000 for it or whatever the fuck. It's so bigoted and cheap but it's not fair to make them do it. I'd have baked a cake before I had to pay a quarter million fine.
Starting point is 04:01:14 This North Carolina thing though is becoming a national story. PayPal pulled out. A handful of musicians have pulled out jimmy buffett didn't um but it like boycotting north carolina is the new trendy thing and like i'm counting thousands of jobs another 2 000 jobs just didn't come this way uh for one company alone that's a big we're really happy that you're taking that ferguson heat away george is getting it too because Georgia and Mississippi. He vetoed that thing. Hey, we vetoed
Starting point is 04:01:47 our bill. I think Disney was about to pull out of Georgia. He was never good. That thing was never up for consideration. They made a big deal out of that, but he was never going to sign that. That wasn't even a consideration. What do you think about Mississippi's
Starting point is 04:02:03 court, the judge making Mississippi take the rebel flag off their state flag? I don't care. I don't fucking care anymore. I just don't fucking care anymore. Like, I don't care what our flag is or our bird. I don't fucking care. Not even a little.
Starting point is 04:02:19 Um, not even a little. If they got rid of all the flags, it would take me a long time to notice. I'm going to tell you what Georgia needs to get rid of. All the ugly-ass people. Georgia got some ugly motherfuckers in that state. You're thinking of Boston. I'm thinking of Georgia.
Starting point is 04:02:34 I was thinking specifically of Toccoa, Georgia. Those Toccoans. I wouldn't know. There's some mountain folk there. I know where to go I'm walking around with Jeremy in two koas Walmart and we walked around about an hour Jeremy had a little racist spell that day
Starting point is 04:02:52 but uh Your little one a black man hit his buggy with his buggy and you know, it just popped out What popped out? popped out what popped out what do you say slurs were there some n-bombs involved yeah there's some n-bombs involved but uh me and jeremy was walking around i'm like jeremy i'm like i haven't seen one good looking girl yet he's like what do you mean and he's like and we started looking around we started looking for a hot chick we couldn't find one in walmart i think the problem is that you're at walmart because i was at the conway walmart i had a similar experience of ugly motherfuckers so just it's walmart shit it really does depend on what walmart you're at though because it's like a joke of like oh fucking ugly people at
Starting point is 04:03:40 walmart but everybody goes to walmart so if you go to a Walmart in a decent area, you're going to see some attractive people. If you go to Walmart in apparently Toccoa nowhere, it's not going to go well. I'll tell you another thing I've seen when I was in Georgia. Open Carry is a lot more prolific in Georgia. More people do it.
Starting point is 04:03:58 I don't get Open Carry. I see a few people doing it. There's a certain vibe about guys who Open Carry. I don't give a fuck what you think. And it makes me like, oh, well, it would be a waste of time to be offended by his gun. And that's the end of that. It doesn't bother me that he's got a gun on his hip. I just noticed that it's there.
Starting point is 04:04:18 It's like, oh, I've never seen that in like Conway or like Myrtle Beach. Chiz saw it. Like Chiz just had gotten to georgia and we were doing our rafting and ziplining trip and uh we went to walmart and as soon as we're walking out of walmart there's a fucking cowboy walking and he's got a gun belt on and a six shooter and and he was just like what the fuck is that and i'm just like oh yeah that's how it is around here everybody you know lots of cowboys but it's just like i'd never seen anything like that before he was he's like a six shooter and a gun belt with bullets in it you know what i mean like a bandolier of bullets around you might have been competing that day no it wasn't that kind it
Starting point is 04:04:54 was like even if i was competing i would have left it in the truck i'd like threw it in the back seat or something no it's this can't walk around with an empty bandolier it wasn't empty he was locked and loaded he was ready to roll. No, he was saying he'd have left the gun in the truck. Then you'd be all cowboy outfit. I would just put the whole gun belt in the back seat. He brought his into Walmart on purpose. Yeah, I see a few people over here.
Starting point is 04:05:15 You know, Walmart's the place you get into gunfights all the time. Oh, it looks like it's time for one more ad read. We have a brand new sponsor at Piers this week. HelixSleep.com. Tell me about them. You spend a third of your life asleep. Why cut corners when it comes to this area of your life? With a mattress that isn't getting the job done.
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Starting point is 04:06:47 designed to be comfortable, breathable, and sleek. Head on over to helixsleep.com slash pka today and get started getting a better night's sleep. That's helixsleep.com to save $50 on your mattress right now. So wait, these guys make custom mattresses based on your height, weight, and dimensions? And that's, I feel like a peasant now. As a fat dude, the box spring fails me more than my mattress does.
Starting point is 04:07:16 Well, this one's got forged coils to resist. The coils in my mattress don't fucking fail. I'm just saying like the box screen usually fails before the mattress does. Yeah. The box screen's like 70 bucks. Just go get you a new one. Or you could do that thing where you just put a mattress on the floor. I'm going there now.
Starting point is 04:07:37 Helix mattress. Let's see. Helixsleep.com. I didn't want to disagree with, like, your sponsor, but,, but polyester covers are not sleek. Oh, they're so sleek, dude. Sleek is not the word to describe a polyester cover. Yeah, I think probably classy. So sleek.
Starting point is 04:07:54 Classy or maybe bourgeois. It's a very bourgeois fabric. I don't know. It's a negative connotation. I can't stand polyester covers on a mattress. You shouldn't even have a box spring, right? You should have a bed with a platform that the mattress sits on. I don't even know what box springs are all about.
Starting point is 04:08:12 Yeah, that's what a box spring is, what you just described. Like, for example, my bed has rails, and it has three or four pieces of wood. Then it has a box spring, and then the mattress sits on the box spring. Buy a platform bed so that the bed sits on top of like a big wooden like layer and then uh it's like laying in a pool of lube i'm told it's me calling my broker woody it's ir nothing let me go and get a gold brick and just chip off what I need to get that platform. Dude, California King's like a thousand bucks. You take 50 off.
Starting point is 04:08:49 You got that. Oh, you know what you could try, Wings? Upload videos. Is it really? Is it really that cheap? $9.95 and then $50 off with the PKA code. I paid $1,200 for a memory foam mattress. These guys are like scientific and shit.
Starting point is 04:09:03 Yeah, this is the way you do it. So scientific. Yeah, this is what way you do it. So scientific. They're talking about scanning you. I only picture you putting a mocap suit on and laying on a fucking mattress and they're using a computer with a laser going up and down you. They actually let you put on the same suit
Starting point is 04:09:18 that Andy Serkis wore in Lord of the Rings. I went to a mattress king and took one of the books for a queen. What's an Andy Serkis? Oh oh he was gollum probably yeah he was gollum dude i like the box it comes in but i should do more youtube videos that is good advice dude you'd be buying mattresses like you bought trucks old old days man oh i doubt that. I mean, my mobile views went through the roof since back then. I mean, back in the day, I was getting like 18% mobile views.
Starting point is 04:09:50 We don't get paid for mobile at all. Is that true? There's no mobile money? I know there's ads on mobile now. But my mobile views are something like, I think last month was like in the low 80s. I think it's gotten to the highest 87. Here's what I think we need to do. was like in the low 80s.
Starting point is 04:10:03 I think it's gotten to the high 87. Here's what I think we need to do. I would think that people would watch longer vlogs and be more likely to watch that on a PC. I make most of my money on Twitch right now. I know that, but listen to me. I just wanted to do YouTube because
Starting point is 04:10:19 it seems YouTube's easier to grow on than Twitch. Look, here's what I think you should do. You should get some kind of hidden camera thing, and I want to be immersed in your family life one night. I would love for you to wear a lapel camera and microphone all day, and then that night, edit together the full day into 45 minutes that tells the narrative of your day, and intersplice that with you on camera being like,
Starting point is 04:10:44 Here's the problem, though. That video will make my life much worse. Here's the thing. They watch my videos. Everyone else who does vlogs. Okay. Casey Neistat makes amazing vlogs, right? But he's doing a little different than other people.
Starting point is 04:11:00 He's sharing his life and he's showing the highlights and he's doing a thing, but you sort of see what he's up to a lot of people that make vlogs are just like look at me for six minutes like it's they're kind of crappy i'm doing these day-to-day vlogs vlogs no i'm doing jive does them right maybe i'll look at them see if i'm inspired but um i've been doing vlogs like these daily vlogs on my channel this week. And it's a little different than anyone else is doing. Like I'm doing more during the day. I'm including it. I'm showing the ups and downs. And a lot of the vlogs are just like, look at this thing right here. And I'll talk about it with you. And they're
Starting point is 04:11:39 kind of shitty. Your vlogs, if you were to show the drama that is your life people could get invested in it like a soap opera and and i picture you as like the only sane person in your world saying yeah look at this can i play devil's advocate because like i could i'm gonna get two videos out of that and then every time the camera's busted out people shut up because they don't want to be on camera oh as long as you do it at the right time it'll be like laguna beach myrtle beach like my grandma's different my grandma's different she doesn't give a fuck but like my mother doesn't want to be on camera at all like if i pull the camera out hidden camera man look look all you gotta do is like throw that thing and like yeah like how can you get a hidden camera before they go to your YouTube channel and be like, this motherfucker
Starting point is 04:12:26 was filming me. I got a thing, right? What if you just, like, as a normal course of the day, you start wearing button down shirts, and your new thing is that you keep your, I don't know if you guys see me. They watch his channel. Make a decoy channel.
Starting point is 04:12:42 Decoy channel. Hey, maybe you just make some videos for me. Maybe you just look at my world. I won't tell anybody, you know, and your mom won't see the videos, and I'll get my kicks. Wings, not your last one. I want to film this family show. There's, like, money to be made there.
Starting point is 04:12:58 There's, like, real money. I know. You made a video today, Wings, and it was to gameplay. The one before that. Did you make that video yourself? I did. It was terrible, I know. No!
Starting point is 04:13:11 It was good. It had editing. Like, when you talked about the tire tracks, you went outside and, like, got the tire track footage and overlaid it and put it there. And we're all like, whoa, there's cuts here. Like, Wings got some footage of what he's talking about like i i thought that maybe you went back to patrick who used to edit your like walking videos and like do some like your branding and stuff he didn't have my walking videos well maybe i'm all patrick did was like he uh he did some overlays for me over any of this messy stuff i thought he did at least one video with the music he did do one stuff he did yeah
Starting point is 04:13:44 and you could tell. It was like professionally done. And I thought that maybe someone had helped you with that because it was so good. I just threw the fucking iPhone out there. That's all it takes, dude. Today you were talking about it. We were like, I'd love to see what – the shed. You were talking about the shed today to gameplay.
Starting point is 04:14:00 And we're all group watching this thing on the edge of our seats like, oh, I want to hear more about the shed. And we're all group watching this thing on the edge of our seats like, oh, I want to hear more about the shed. And we're like, where's the video? You needed to go outside, put in the corner some shots of the shed to show us what. I can't picture a shed that you're tempted to turn into a home. I don't know what that looks like. I think of a shed as a little bigger than like a push mower and some chainsaws. I'm imagining bubbles out there.
Starting point is 04:14:24 You've seen the fucking shed. We were just here like two weeks ago. It was that big building. I know, but I don't remember the shed. I didn't get a good look at the motherfucker. Why didn't you get some video of the shed when you were talking about the shed? We needed you to do it. That's good advice.
Starting point is 04:14:39 I'll probably do that next time. The reason I did the tire tracks is because I want people to see it. I don't want people to take my word for it. I did that because I didn't think people would believe me that Grandma spun the yard up. Chiz put something pretty funny out there. We put together all of our PKNs, which is like an hour-long show that we do in the middle of the week together. And we sell them on this site called Gumroad. You could do the same thing with like the gangster
Starting point is 04:15:05 i don't know the inside the wings redemption family show and you know charge like three dollars an episode or whatever the fuck you want to charge for it and i feel like your dedicated fans would pay three bucks for that and there'd be several hundred of them i would think i would pay i'll chip in that three bucks an episode if they're 45 minute like day-long blogs like you like high effort videos like you could be making 500 a video youtube has that built into it too like are you familiar with this i want some advice from you guys it could be 50 cents a video yeah i'd like to get some advice for you guys though i'll try my brother's situation this was a little tougher yeah um what after i left kyle's house and i came back here um my brother had been carless for about a
Starting point is 04:15:54 year at that point and he had a military check my brother's a purple heart uh military veteran and you know he was down on himself he was gaining weight he was stuck pretty much in the house because he couldn't you know he had to beg people to take him places. So I'm like, you know, my credit's freed up. You got the money to pay for it. I'll go help you get a truck. So I went and helped him get a truck. And I co-signed for him because his credit was ruined from credit cards in the military.
Starting point is 04:16:21 Like he got these credit cards in the military where you could buy stuff out of the base store. He messed his credit up with that. So two and a half years go by, and it's all good and grand, but my brother develops a little bit of a drug problem. But, you know, it's a lot of a drug problem. He's had that for years. A couple years right he didn't but at the time i i helped him get the truck he wasn't on drugs so like my my belief was this it
Starting point is 04:16:54 was a solid deal i'm helping him out he gets 1400 from the military truck payments 300 bucks a month he can cover the truck payment even if he doesn't get a job you know why do you give him from the military um ptsd and um he caught a frag grenade okay that lasts for life for life he gets that for life um and then well he got on he started on with these things called pain pills, you know, Delatas, things of that nature. And he got that through a girl. And, well, eventually he got another job by a guy across the street, and he ended up making good money on that job. He's making $16, $17 now, which is good money in South Carolina. For sure.
Starting point is 04:17:39 And so he's getting the military check plus that money. So he's making $4,000 or $5,000 a month. So, you know, whatever. I'm good. It's only going to help my credit out. Whatever. Well, he starts graduating. He's making three grand a month.
Starting point is 04:17:53 But anyway. Right. Unless I'm missing it. He starts graduating. He stops doing the pain pills and he starts doing the heroin. That's a common progression. That's a common progression. That's a common progression. He started out with these things called slits.
Starting point is 04:18:08 They're like little envelopes that come with white powder and you sniff them. And that eventually turns into the liquid heroin, which is like black, and it comes in like vials. Well, when he couldn't get the heroin, he subsidized it with crack.
Starting point is 04:18:26 Well, when he couldn't get the heroin, he subsidized it with crack. Well, he got caught about two months ago, two, maybe three months ago, with all three substances in his truck, crack, heroin, and pain pills, in a bottle that isn't his. So now he's facing a felony charge of trafficking. But he doesn't actually traffic. He just happens to be... It's going to be pushed down. That's the charge they gave him.
Starting point is 04:18:48 They're going to lower the charge probably. He's probably going to get a misdemeanor. But when he got hit with that charge, his job fired him. And now he's using his military check to fund his habit. The only problem is he just bought a house on the GI Bill to go his habit. The only problem is he just bought a house on the GI Bill to go with it.
Starting point is 04:19:08 So his house payment is like $850 a month plus the truck, plus the drug habit. And now he's like three months behind on the truck. And I have no clue. I confronted him about it. And all he wanted to do was fight me. I think there might be a good chance he might have to go
Starting point is 04:19:25 to jail for it you know at least i'm not talking about prison maybe maybe not prison i don't know what about his priors his military record will help him some i'm sure in court but but i think he's in a good bit of trouble here and he might have to go to county jail for you know three months or something like that you think just yeah if this is his first offense and he's just got a bunch of drugs on him like you don't go to jail for that do you i mean look i don't have a lot of experience in this in this regard but i remember i was in traffic court and there were guys up there who had a small amount of marijuana and they were it was either like a thousand dollar five eight hundred dollar fine or they were sending some of them to jail for a week.
Starting point is 04:20:05 I predict he gets probation. I think in lieu of a fine, he may have to do some jail time. I don't think he'll get jail time on the first time. I think he's going to get hit with a misdemeanor, and he's going to be forced to take place in a locally run center that helps you get off drugs, which charges you like 300 bucks a month to be taken part of and you probably get probation too which even then all this isn't helping because
Starting point is 04:20:31 all this is gonna be like six or seven hundred dollars each month that he doesn't have you know i think it really depends if the judge sees that amount and thinks that if he believes him that that was his personal stuff then that's one thing thing. But if the judge sees X amount... It's going to be some minimum sentencing thing. Yeah, that could run into it. I don't think that'll happen if it's not a felony. I wish the best for him, but in the best case scenario... I don't care about what he goes through. He's dead to me.
Starting point is 04:21:00 I want to know what I should do about the truck. Well, I don't know about that. Do you let it go back and just take the hit on the credit? Because the truck's fucking worthless. We owe like $10,000 on the truck. He has beat it all to hell. He's wrecked it five, six times. He's got rust on the body.
Starting point is 04:21:14 The truck is worthless. At best, it's going to be fair, like on a Kelly Blue Book fair. I think it's worth like $5,000, but I don't think I can get somebody to give me $5,000 for it. I think what you need to do is go talk to the bank. 2008 GMC Sierra Z71 extended cab. Yeah, you need to go talk to the bank, and you need to be very honest and straightforward with them. And be like, look, this is the situation I'm in. This is what's happened.
Starting point is 04:21:40 And just tell them the truth. Be like, look, I'm not going to make payments on this vehicle. I can't see doing that. So I'm just letting you know up front, whatever we need to do. They're going to take the truck back regardless. I was trying to say, what would be the best route for me? I'm going to do that. I think Kyle's plan, the tail end of it, is going to be,
Starting point is 04:21:59 would you arrange something for pennies on the dollar? It'll get you something rather than nothing. Yes. You may be able to. That's about it. They're in a position to deal with you instead of selling your debt to some collection agency. They might be more willing to work with you
Starting point is 04:22:14 and work something out that will be softer on your credit. But I'll tell you what, if you just turn a cold shoulder to them and ignore them and like, I'm not answering that. That's my brother's phone call that's calling because that's your phone call. Don't be confused. It's about you too. They call me six times a day. You need to be answering them.
Starting point is 04:22:31 You need to set an appointment, go and talk to them and be straightforward and just straight up honest with them about everything that's happening and everything that's going to happen, and it'll be a lot easier on you. There's a little bit of information I still got to get. Let me pull this out here. I don't know why I'm bothering to show you, but he sent me a text message. Let me lot easier on you. There's a little bit of information I still got to get. Let me pull this out here. I don't know why I'm bothering to show you, but he sent me a text message. Let me read it to you.
Starting point is 04:22:52 It might have been a Facebook message. And I don't know if I should believe it or not. This was sent on Monday at 6.21 p.m. Well, I sent him a message on saturday he goes still no word if you're going to make a truck payment i really need to know something and he got to me uh monday which is two days later i'm i am trying working construction started last week i should be able to start catching up well you know i guess you have to take him at his word for it but if he he misses it, like I said, he could possibly go into jail.
Starting point is 04:23:27 I mean, you need to do what I told you to do. You need to go talk to the bank. Just talk to him? Yeah, you need to tell him the truth, 100% the truth. Tell him about the drug problem. Tell him about why you co-signed with him. Tell him about your personal financial situation. Let him know if you can do anything.
Starting point is 04:23:45 Let him know that you're interested in looking at some other alternative, but let them know, hey, we're not going to be able to make payments on this. You just go to the bank and talk to the loan officer. Who's the loan through? Who's it financed with? Chase. You arrange that at a car dealership, or Chase is your bank, and you went in there and took out...
Starting point is 04:24:05 No, Chase is the car dealership we arranged it at. Then you need to do it over the phone then. You can call them and then they'll let you know where to go from there, but that's a phone number kind of thing. Yeah, answer their calls. What happens now when they call? Do you not answer or do you like...
Starting point is 04:24:20 I've answered a couple times and all they want to do is make me... They'll be like, well, can you help them out today and make a payment and i tell them no i'm not making a payment over to them because you because you can't pay it either no i can pay it i got the money to pay it but i don't but like i understand it's my responsibility but at the same time i much rather have kenneth pay pass this as his truck. Yeah.
Starting point is 04:24:47 I don't drive it. I never drove it. I think I drove the truck one time, and I was test driving it. And, like... Cosigning's a tough deal, man. It kind of sucks, because I thought this was a solid one. It's like, you know, this is helping him out. He's got the money.
Starting point is 04:25:04 He makes good money. And then heroin comes out of left field and, like, elbow drop. Yeah, He's got the money. He makes good money. And then heroin comes out of left field and elbow drop. Yeah, that's shitty, man. Well, you definitely need – I would talk to my brother, tell him, look, man, if you haven't gotten this payment to me by – and just pick a day, next week, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, whatever. If this payment hasn't been made by then, then I'm going to let him know that, hey, I know I've co-signed for this thing, but he's not going to make any payments. And I'm going to start looking for some other option where they take the truck back or they auction the truck,
Starting point is 04:25:33 or, you know, we refinance this thing in some way or another. I don't know what your options are, frankly, but you need to talk to them because what you don't want to do is have them like put you on some like red list where like you're a you're an issue customer and they start doing the worst they can do to you they sell your shit to collections and they hit you as hard on your credit as possible like they can definitely take it easy on you or
Starting point is 04:25:55 fuck you up yep yeah if you yeah you don't want them garnishing your wages well yeah yeah they can't do that there but but but either Yeah, you don't want them garnishing your wages. They can't do that in South Carolina. Yeah, they can't do that there. But either way, I'm glad you came. They can put a judgment against me if I get –
Starting point is 04:26:13 and they take taxes and shit like that, which I don't get taxes. I pay in taxes, so that doesn't help me either. Yeah. I'm glad you came on. What have you been up to in your free time? Before we go to there, Wings, What have you been up to in your free time? Before we go to there, Wings, I think that you really enjoy being the hero in someone who's on Tough Luck Story.
Starting point is 04:26:36 If someone's not doing well, you like helping that guy. And I get that. It's important to evaluate the risk to yourself, though. Like when you help Kelly, like that's all cool. He's staying with you. And there's not a lot that can go terribly wrong. You know, you're inconvenienced or whatever, but that's okay, right? That's what you're deciding to do to someone. When you co-sign, like when you put your credit on somebody else's hard luck story because his credit's so bad.
Starting point is 04:27:01 You know, he wasn't even a case where he had no credit. He was a case where he already fucked up his credit, and now he's fucked up your credit too. Yeah, but I did evaluate it. You can't foresee, well, this guy's going to become a hardcore drug addict in the next two years. I feel like I swear he's had issues with that
Starting point is 04:27:18 as long as he got out of it. He had issues with that when he was still in the military. He was a drinker or something? Yeah, he liked to drink. Yeah, but at the time, he was at the house when he was still in the military. He was a drinker or something? Yeah, he liked to drink. Yeah, but at the time, he was at the house, he was sober. That's a big leap from alcohol to heroin. I know. Alcohol's a problem.
Starting point is 04:27:38 But the thing is, I evaluated him. He gets the money. And at the time, my mother was working his finances. My mother would pay his bills for him. I get that. Look, maybe this one was hard to see coming. Yeah, this one was hard to see coming. This is crook, right?
Starting point is 04:27:55 Yeah, this is crook. This guy hasn't been thriving for as long as I've known you, which is like six years now. Well, he was kind of thriving a while ago because he was making $3,000 or $4,000 a month depending on how much he worked. And that was enough to support quite a drug habit, unfortunately, though.
Starting point is 04:28:16 Right. I mean, that's the problem. Like, you know, if you make $3,000 a month in South Carolina, you're living easy. I guess I just... I mean... You can get a woman that drives a Chevrolet. A real automobile.
Starting point is 04:28:34 All I'm saying is be sure to evaluate the risk that you're taking when you're helping people out. You let someone stay with you, that's cool. You let someone borrow your truck who's likely to steal it, which is the thing. One of these people stole your truck.
Starting point is 04:28:48 Yeah, I'd watch that old fellow in there. You never know. My mama let somebody borrow one of my vehicles. I'd watch that old fellow in there. He'll be rifling through your drawers, going through your change and shit, taking stuff. We don't know that fellow. That guy came from plenty of fish.
Starting point is 04:29:00 I didn't choose to help this guy. He just got dropped on me. Motherfucker, you opened the door. Look, I'll tell you what. Somebody dropped that old motherfucker off on my porch, he would not be here an hour later. You'd be calling the law. I'd call the law.
Starting point is 04:29:14 Mom invited him in the house, you know, and then she left. Are you telling me that you would like it if this motherfucker would leave right now? Have you told him? Is he actively looking for a way out? My mother is for him. Well, he should be looking for himself because he's fucking seven. He doesn't have license or anything.
Starting point is 04:29:35 You need to tap into this pension that he's got and start taking some of that money and put it on Crook's fucking car. That's your answer. There you go. Alright, we can rap PKA your answer there you go all right we can wrap pk happily here you go defraud that old man take his money give it to crook that plus it plus crooks gi bill money and and you know maybe a little supplemental construction work he'll be fine don't forget wings you're a rape squad killer you defraud this fucking old man
Starting point is 04:30:02 that would be defraud like if he is just if he like if he doesn't out if he isn't out by the end of this month he's got to start paying rent yeah charge that motherfucker rent and look just look just sign him up for a thing where he his checks go directly into your account and then you bill him you bill him for services and he gets like a statement and like and the net uh you know the over. You make it a lot more complicated. You ever seen Better Call Saul? No, I haven't. Don't spoil it. Don't mention anything from it.
Starting point is 04:30:32 Good stuff. That's awesome. I'm glad you came on. I like having you on here. I'd stay all night, man. Kyle's wrapping the show. God damn it. Wings is here, baby. I ain't got no place to go. No, you don't you're probably gonna play starcraft after this starcraft absolutely well maybe if wings will come play
Starting point is 04:30:51 starcraft what do you want to talk about you know talk about the brazier dumpster fire no no i don't want to talk about that even a little i i don't watch um it look i'm a real fair weather fan i i i admit it right away look i don't I got no business rooting for a shitty team. So you better go out there and play hard if you want me to clap for you. That's how I see it. If you want one of these, then you better go out there and hustle and win some games. And if they're not doing that, then I just don't watch. They haven't won a game yet.
Starting point is 04:31:18 I know they're 0-9. 0-9? The Cards aren't doing that well this year either. I mean, they're still positive. They swept the Braves. Well, yeah, but the Braves are horrible. I think it's our coach's problem, to be honest. I mean, the guys that we put on the field,
Starting point is 04:31:35 I think they're more than capable of winning baseball games. I think it's the head coach's problem. We need a fucking real – We need a team of young Hispanic guys that play small ball. We have young Hispanic guys. Matter of fact, Philadelphia is second place. Our left fielder recently
Starting point is 04:31:51 started beating his girlfriend slash wife. I don't know what it is. So... No, David Justice. That's who it was. They got David Justice back. No, no, no. No, David Justice. Slapped her around a little bit while he was with the Braves.
Starting point is 04:32:07 Three game winning streak. So I'm like... So I went on his little forum post. I go, I think it's a safe bet that he didn't do it with a baseball bat. That's funny. He'd have missed her, huh? Yeah, he'd have missed her.
Starting point is 04:32:20 Because he hit like.90. I don't know. I thought it was funny on my joke. I like it. Did you get banned? What forum was that? Are they treating you right? We can send some. It's talkandchop.com.
Starting point is 04:32:35 They love it. I got all kinds of thumbs up. Okay, that's good. We're about to send our people to them. If they treated you like Ford, dude. Oh, fuck Ford. I'm still banned from that bitch. It's been like four years. You need to come off this shit.
Starting point is 04:32:49 I want to read about the truck launch. You told them to burn their truck and accept the insurance money. Hey, hey, the man needed help. He wasn't looking for the option for going to the bank and reading it. Can you get some overtime at your
Starting point is 04:33:06 job maybe no this man living with you and collect his life insurance yes that's where i was going you need to take some of that same old school rap scallion wings redemption behavior and apply it to this old fogey you got living in there on the couch is he in a bed or is he on the couch burn the old man he's he's he's on twin bed let ask you this. What's this guy eating? Is he eating your food? He's eating... We go out and eat all the time. It happens when dinner time comes around. This guy got cash to...
Starting point is 04:33:33 He gets $2,400 a month. I don't know how much of that gangster grandma siphoned away. He's got his full check this month. I think you need to tap into that money, get that flowing in the old wings of redemption circles, and, you know, it goes where it needs to go. I'm not going to steal the old man's money.
Starting point is 04:33:52 And stimulate our own internal economy. Housing this guy, you're feeding this guy, you're transporting him all around. Look, you're a caretaker for an old man. He's about to buy a tank of gas. It's about to happen. I ain't worried about that. For a social worker,
Starting point is 04:34:03 they'd be paying you $1,200 or $1,400 a month just to watch after this old motherfucker. Look, first diaper you change, you better hit him up for $500 on the spot. I'm telling you. I had to shave him the other day. Bullshit. Bullshit, motherfucker. I had to shave him. Wait, wait.
Starting point is 04:34:19 Where did you shave him? His face. Why? I was really hoping you manscaped him he got upset he got upset with me like he goes you know i need to shave i need to go to walmart i'm like i got some shaving stuff here i mean you shoot some of my stuff he's like well my hair is really long i can't get down i'm like i got buzz clippers i pointed to my head like i shaved my head i got good clippers he's like well i can't do it i'm like can you rub your face he's like yeah why can't you use the buzz clippers he's like well i can't do it i'm like can you rub your face he's like yeah why can't
Starting point is 04:34:45 you use the buzz clippers he's like i i can't do it and he didn't give me an answer why he couldn't do it yeah even if it's a shaky hand it's not like it tears your face apart when you touch your skin with this that's kind of how i use an electric shaver yeah i i just go to town yeah so i'm like instead of fighting with him like all right whatever, all right, whatever. I'll do it for you. So what does this guy look like? How much does he weigh? Height, weight? He's probably like 150 pounds at most.
Starting point is 04:35:13 Like how tall? About six foot. He's a little waif of a guy. I mean, like he's 70 years old. I mean, you could punch him in the chest one time. He'd probably die. All right, so what happened with the TV that he pawned? You work any way into his will?
Starting point is 04:35:31 The TV he pawned, my mother got it out of pawn, and she ended up buying it off of him. All right, then. Happy ending to every story. I fucking love it, man. I love that you're helping these people out. It's outrageous. I would not.
Starting point is 04:35:42 You should not. You should not. You should dump these people and stop. What I'm trying to do right now is just have the house to myself again Trying to find somebody to move in with me. That's my family Well, you see if Drew had a stable if Drew's situation was better I'd have him move in and just pay me like $500 a month and we'd do the training videos again. Drew over there, I bet he knows some black ladies that he could get over there and maybe some party favorites. He's black. He just doesn't know.
Starting point is 04:36:18 He's like David Ortiz Latin. He's like Barry Bonds Latin is what he is. he's like Barry Bonds Latin is what he is I always thought it was funny as soon as I heard that he got fired from his job as a personal trainer I was like he fucked a customer and sure enough he fucked a customer
Starting point is 04:36:34 Kyle did call that I forget my yeah I don't if you were Bill Gates and you were helping the world, that's one thing. Bill Gates is in that position. But your wings are motherfucking redemption.
Starting point is 04:36:51 Stop throwing yourself under the bus. I don't do it on purpose. I'm over here like, well, I wonder how fuck I can get under this bus. I'm telling you, dude, you do do it on purpose. Woody, is there any scenario in which an old man ends up on your couch who is not blood relative?
Starting point is 04:37:07 No. No. No, right? What if your wife invites him in? Why? She wouldn't. She wouldn't. Woody would divorce his wife because clearly she's been taken over by a pod fucking person.
Starting point is 04:37:22 He'd be like, oh, Jackie invited an old man to live here they've taken her she's a pot person uh i know it's a it's a messed up situation i'm like i've got messages to my mother i'm like we gotta get this dude out we gotta get him out like i don't want him here i would send the message to him i'd be like you've got to get the fuck out keep in mind you don't you never know like when somebody's standing over you're like are we gonna go get something neat today? I'm like what? What maybe later? I don't know you need to go back to gangsta grandma's house Full of blood, but where'd he go wait fucker up wake his old ass up and get him in here I'm gonna tell him he's got a go. I'm looking that's the service we provide I swear to God if you get him on here
Starting point is 04:38:04 We will that come on if you get it because it's your I said that the rest and I having to talk to him about the way to find hard enough to invite him into his home he's kind hearted enough he's not going to bring him in front of the camera for all three of us to be addicted bring the
Starting point is 04:38:20 camera to him like your fun yeah dude I'm saying wings won won't. Wings, I will talk sense into this. Old guy to old guy. We speak a language. Yeah, but like... Hopefully he gets a place at the beginning of next month, and this is done with. Out of the life.
Starting point is 04:38:37 No, seriously, if we talked to him and said, look, you know what you're doing is wrong here, right? You can see that you're taking advantage of his good nature and staying in a place where you shouldn't be. I have no desire to talk to him because if we talk to him, it's going to go from, you know,
Starting point is 04:38:53 us being a little pissed at him to just being really sad. He might cry. I don't want to do that. What if he started crying and he was like, you know, I'm going to say this on the low key, but I kind of went through his stuff. No one can hear. Go on. And his birth certificate and his license
Starting point is 04:39:11 have different years of birth on them. What years? 47 and 53. Oh, shit. That ain't even close. That's close. It's not like it was a leap year or something. Do you think he's assumed his brother's identity or something? I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 04:39:26 I don't know. I have his security number. I'm running it. The last person who tried to mess with me, his name was Creed Bratton. That's what's happened here. He's assumed someone's life. He's a... Wings, pull the fucking...
Starting point is 04:39:37 Now he's Creed Bratton. He's going to take your life over. He's going to become you. He's going to... Two weeks from now, he's going to fucking... You're going to be bored in the 80s. All of a sudden there's a 70 year old man wearing your glasses and your headset. Woah woah woah, what's up it's your boy Wings of War Addiction!
Starting point is 04:39:54 What the fuck? You have pictures of his... You can't even see it. I was covering some of the numbers, but like I got his social security number. I'm running... I'm having the police run it. I love this. Tune in next week when we find out that Wingslip's roommate is an identity thief living under
Starting point is 04:40:12 an assumed name. Might be hip for being old. Yep, thanks for coming, Wings. And that's a cliffhanger. I need... You're all pussies. Alright. PKI episode 278. I need... You're all pussies. Alright.
Starting point is 04:40:28 PKA episode 278. That's 278? 278. Good. I think I clenched the best guess for another 50 episodes. There it is. I don't know. Harley killed it last week. No, he's Harley. What's he going to do? Talk about bitches he fucked? In Duke Camp, actually. Yeah. Are we stopped or are we still going? but no he's harley what is it what's he gonna talk about he uh in juke camp actually yeah
Starting point is 04:40:48 are we stopped are we still going we're still going the isn't okay all right i'll stop i i don't know i i think it's the g fuel i'm up till four it's not even a choice for me it's just okay because i got work to do do. Are y'all running literally like a two-hour, almost six-hour painkiller already? Nah, we started late. It's like 4.41. Yeah, we waited for our guest for like an hour and a half or something.
Starting point is 04:41:15 And we upgraded. Who was the guest? Jeremy from CinemaSense. Oh. I had no internet, apparently. Yeah, he tweeted that he didn't have any internet, so I assume he used his phone. It kind of makes sense.
Starting point is 04:41:31 All right, I'll wrap up here. Episode 278, Painkiller Already. I hope you guys enjoyed it. With wings of motherfucking redemption.

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