Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #280
Episode Date: May 6, 2016This week on PKA, the guys run the show solo and Taylor tells a funny bible story, discuss the possible next PKA adventures and some interesting Wings B&B ideas....
Transcript
Discussion (0)
We're live, episode 280.
Here we are.
And we're live!
Here we go!
This just really kicked it off there.
And we're live!
He's like, let's go!
That's exactly what you would say.
We're live, Kyle!
So, Kyle.
This episode of Painkiller Already
This episode of Painkiller Already
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Well done, Kyle.
I've noticed for all of your ad reads,
when you're excited to tell someone about something,
you go, and you can get it for 15% off.
You extend your neck upward and kind of tell people,
like, oh, you won't believe this.
This is a real deal that you're seeing right now.
I like that. I like it.
I feel like you're on QVC and you're really pitching it to me.
That's kind of a sales
thing because you're supposed to be like,
it's like I'm peeking behind the curtain and giving you
the insider's deal. It's like, hey,
you know what we got back here?
We got some fucking sample box.
You want some of this. That's what's going on there.
This episode is also brought to you by Trump Steak.
The finest meal.
I don't know.
I don't know why you got to make fun of the Trump Steak.
I have seen the Trump Steaks.
They look delicious.
I've seen him eating the Trump Steak.
As far as I know,
there are Trump Steaks.
Oh yeah.
I agree.
There has got to be trump stakes out there it's
just funny to talk about it and how mad she is like for some reason it gets under chis's skin
so much to even suggest that a billionaire could have ever had the capacity to get some cows
together what the fuck you can obviously do that didn't hillary can't have some those were just
normal stakes yeah and dasani is just water you fuck like it doesn't wait a minute whatever
let's talk about the bet, because
Chiz and I placed a bet maybe a month
and a half, two months ago.
The bet is that Donald Trump will get to
1,237 delegates,
clinch the nomination before it gets
to the convention.
I said it would happen. Chiz said, absolutely no
fucking way, and we put $100
on it. And now that,
as far as I'm concerned, it's pretty much game over bro.
Like Trump's got it all sewn up.
You see the percentages that are required of him to get that number.
It's 49% of remaining delegates.
You see what he forecasted to take from the number of delegates at large and those numbers
just overlap.
And it's going to be a win for Trump unless, like he said months back, he literally shoots
someone on Fifth Avenue.
And that ain't going to happen. He's going to win. He's going to get it.
So, the real question here isn't
about how do I want my fucking money.
How is Chiz going to
pay up here? Because I don't want to make it easy
on him. No. No PayPal transaction.
No clickety-click. You're going to feel this
this time. I'm thinking...
$100 worth of Beanie Babies.
And since they're worthless, that's an infinite
amount of Beanie Babies. No, what're worthless, that's an infinite amount of Beanie Babies.
No, what I was thinking is that he has to give you –
it's boring if he just gives you PayPal like you were saying.
I think it's almost as boring if he gives you cryptocurrency.
I think he should have to give you $100 worth of your good of choice.
Who's to say if you just want three years of brown rice
and he has to find a way to ship that to you?
I like this. Things like this. He has to find a way to ship that to you um i like this things
like this he has to oh well shipping is on his end no that's no it's a hundred dollars of goods
and then that's just kind of sucks to suck on for him if he has to pay a few hundred dollars extra
to ship you a quarter ton of rice then then so be it i don't know what would you want though
what's difficult to ship liquidsids are fucking impossible to ship!
Frozen things!
Oh, th- oh, a bunch of-
No, uh, uh, frozen, that's-
$100 for the creamsicle.
Look, I don't want-
You guys are talking about a scenario where I get a lot of garbage delivered to my house
when I just wanna bet.
I- I- I wanna make this hard on Chiz, but good for me.
I- I'd like to get something that I want.
Oh, I hate brown rice.
It's so hard to cook.
Do you like hot sauce? What? It's so hard to cook. Do you like hot sauce?
What? It's rice.
It's the easiest thing to cook.
Then you don't know anything about cooking rice.
Rice is very difficult to cook correctly.
It's just not.
I have a special rice cooker.
If Yahoo answers it, there's two steps.
And one of them is put water in the pot, and the other one is boil it.
Add rice. Yeah, step three.
Absolutely not.
That's shitty rice.
That's shitty rice you're talking about.
Tell us about your wonderful rice.
Tell me how do you make rice.
Because I've been boiling my – I mean I've been watching Jackie boil my rice for all this time.
And I had no idea I was eating such shitty rice.
How do you make the – do you boil yours in milk and wine and beer?
Ew.
Yeah, what do you do?
You're talking about milk steak.
You're talking about milk steak.
That's a whole different process.
I have a special rice cooker that I use.
I have a special rice cooker, and it kind of does everything for you.
It's all digital, and you put in exactly what you need.
Sounds hard.
It does all the hard stuff, but I know if you're cooking rice.
Not at all, but if you're cooking it in a pan, I know that it's to get it right.
Are you adding the water or the nothing other step?
It's the walking upstairs.
It does the part where rice
is cooked perfectly through and through
and it's not just a big white
mush and it's not so sticky you can't
eat it. It makes perfect rice
every time. And I'll tell you the reason I got the thing
though. Listen to this. I don't know if you've seen this.
Yeah, okay. In any case, I don't know if you've seen this. Yeah, okay.
In any case, I feel like brown rice
is harder to cook. In any case,
outside of the rice cooker, because it's just
buttons at that point. I know you don't have a rice
cooker. And I don't want a bunch of fucking brown fucking rice,
Taylor, goddammit. But if you do have a rice
cooker, you can make rice cooker pancakes.
You mix up the pancake
batter and you put it in there, and you can make pancakes
that are perfectly symmetrical and beautiful and are this fucking thick.
I saw a picture of that.
And it's the coolest thing ever. I've done it a couple times.
That's the only life hack I've seen.
And like I've said, those life hacks, most of them are just ways that you can hurt yourself or ruin appliances.
But that one where you pour a bunch of batter in the rice cooker, it looked good.
Who knows? It seems like that would be hard to come up with.
It's really fucking good.
Yeah, that seems like a good one.
When I make one of those, it's one of those things where we share one.
Because you just cut slices out of it like a pie.
It's great.
I'm thinking maybe doubloons or something.
Is doubloons even a thing?
Oh no, am I delayed?
What are doubloons?
I thought that was like a form of currency that pirates used or something.
Yeah, doubloons.
I thought that those were Spanish gold coins that aren't really used anymore.
I guess that's what you would find in a treasure ship or something like that.
I just want to make it hard on Chiz.
I want him to have to get like some old coins or something that are worth $100 or something like that.
I think that it would be funnier to see i don't know i don't want him to ship you an envelope with one spanish doubloon
in it you know that would be cool in the long run but think of a consumer good that would be very
difficult for him to ship and that you could use a lot of a hundred dollars worth of something that
you want maybe there's a hair gel that you just like and you're like hey i want to have no more
need for hair gel for the next 10 years get me 60 tubes of it or whatever however much it is i'm forgetting this isn't this
is only a hundred dollars and this isn't the year 1946 yeah i know right that's five containers of
kyle's hair gel it would just arrive in a package that you could hold in your palm.
So Kyle's like, yeah, so two?
It's not like a nickel Grecian formula.
This sold for the Grecians in the 50s.
What could you do?
Liquids are difficult. I don't know.
Maybe.
Leave a comment on what you think.
What about service?
Some sort of service.
Oh, a service.
He could pay for like a maid to come by.
Naked
maid, one time.
Naked
maid? Does he do windows?
I would have hired a female,
but you... Well, we'd have to determine
and...
No, no, no. What are you talking about?
I'm talking about Chiz performing some sort of service.
Like something that he has to go and do.
I'm getting lag from Kyle bad.
I can hear
myself talking right now
through Kyle's mic and I'm having a real difficult time
still continuing this sentence with my own voice coming back through.
Hi.
I did it though.
It is very subtle to me.
Not a big issue kyle smoke fire oh there was some delay there go do it again
that was so long all right kyle i'm going to say
so be mentally prepared for this smoke fire yeah oh yeah the delay was just like that big
yeah like ships passing in the night not even close we used skype earlier tonight and it was
terrible for people listening it was dreadful super bad sucked the lag that we see here with
kyle also happened on skype
so we were like all right forget it let's go back to appearing and we tested we restarted the show
a couple minutes we only four minutes in like we redid the ad and uh um here we are again
kyle are you gonna ask you about smoke soon so So, smoke. Fire.
It's slowly getting better and it doesn't make sense why. Smoke.
Fire.
Now it got worse. It got worse. I don't know.
Let's not test it.
Let's see how it goes.
It's going to be the Taylor Woody show tonight
because our guest didn't show.
Is this the same guest that bailed on us
last time? It is.
It's the same guy who bailed on us last time? It is. It's the same guy who bailed on us last time.
Fucking burn in a fire.
Never invite this asshole again,
who appears that PKA is the lowest priority on his list of things to do.
Chiz is saying, LOL, stop.
I don't know what is it.
I didn't even read while he's gone.
You know, I don't like being informed when I do my best.
I don't know why he's gone.
I'll assume it was like a pet death.
Maybe a pet. Maybe diarrhea. It's worse when I do my maths. I don't know why he's gone. I'll assume it was like a pet death.
Maybe a pet.
Maybe diarrhea.
It's worse.
I know last time it was... Is it really worse?
Type it in.
Bridge burning for no reason, LOL.
Well...
Wait, do people know who we're talking about right now?
Or who you're talking about right now?
They might know because I said it was the same guy as another time
and we might have mentioned who it was the other time.
Apparently he has a legitimate reason for missing the show.
And I thought it was just his lowest priority.
He better not watch this section of the show
because I had something I wanted to cover with him.
And I'm going to be a little pissy if now he doesn't come on.
You were excited that he was a hockey fan?
Is that what it's
going to be yeah i finally i wanted someone what about me talk to you about hockey because all you
just take the opinion you're just a hockey contrarian you know you're like what i am with
politics where you see what direction i'm going and i'm like aha this would kind of bother you
and then just do things like that and it's it's so good because you or i guess this this is what i
do with chis well we all do a chis yeah yeah he likes he's so intensive in politics that if you
like poke the bear he doesn't distance himself enough from it that he can be like yeah it is
fucking ridiculous the all these people but whatever i gotta support him just like that
with hockey i can't internalize that it's just a game and so when you say like little silly
incorrect things like oh it'll just be another year where the blues get out in the first round i was talking about that with kyle one night
where i was just like god i fucking hope the blues win because i'm gonna be legitimately pissed if i
get back on pka and woody's like oh blues out again in the first round i'm like i'm honestly
i'm just gonna fucking hang up i'm just gonna fucking hang up i will say this i had i had this
conversation in my head and i was like you know what woody
i think you should be chill about it and actually empathetic because
he he honestly cares and it's all fun and games to do it when it's not happened but when it's
happened give the guy a break he gives a shit so uh all right let's how far delayed am I now? Smoke? Smoke.
Fire.
About, uh, just think like a second faster than you do now.
Yes, that's it.
Be telepathic, okay.
Alright, I'm gonna try to play off your body language.
Let's do this.
Yeah, throw him off the trail.
Random hands.
I'll start laughing, like, preemptively and stuff.
Just do things like that. that just laugh randomly make you think
you're lagging again i accidentally showed that conversation i hope that it's not private it did
something stupid i ain't typing nothing in that chat ever again like never again oh i don't i
paranoid to use the chat and when i do i almost almost treat it like I'm writing a little note on my taxes
where, you know, trying to be very polite or something.
Like, no.
It's too risky to be.
I have started pushing things off.
Like, sometimes Kyle will say something in the chat.
I'll just write bump like a hundred times.
You guys know I do it like six times a show now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A lot of nastiness dude in these chats so i um i've been truck shopping and i don't know here so i saw your twitter trucks yeah
oh you saw that all right so yeah i'm interested in adding vehicles to the lineup, right?
This is on my head.
And in a truck, one of the things I'm looking for,
or I guess I'm looking for the ability to perform work,
it should be inexpensive.
And Chase is making fun of me.
Normal people follow other people on Twitter.
So yeah, Taylor's all like, it should be inexpensive. It should be able to do work. And
part of being able to do work is the reliability. And the other part is I don't want it to be
like a showpiece trophy. I keep bringing up the same example, but Colin and I were moving firewood
and he was throwing wood over the side of the bed and into the bed itself. And he would hit the side
of the truck with logs of firewood repeatedly. And didn't care i didn't care because you've seen my
truck it's already dented and broken and 13 years old and etc i don't want i think a fifty thousand
dollar newish truck because i wouldn't use it uh it wouldn't solve the problem that i'm looking to
solve it could potentially but i wouldn't use it that way so't solve the problem that I'm looking to solve. It could potentially, but I wouldn't use it that way.
You have a tractor.
So, like, I thought you had a truck you could use to tow stuff with,
and then you have a tractor for your land.
See, like, that's – okay.
So the tractor doesn't really hold very much.
Like, it wouldn't be very good for moving firewood.
It just has a small front-end loader.
The truck can't tow as much as –
I think you're set on firewood for so has a small front end loader uh the truck can't tow you're set on firewood
for a for so long so you need to let the
so the south carolina threat you know the tractor the taco can't tow the tractor like it can't carry
a load that big i'm building a deck and tomorrow i don't
know i'm buying 63 uh 10 foot long like two by sixes full of decking like five quarter decking
material that will be a test for the um for the taco when we did the roofing material and stuff
like that was a test for the taco to haul that stuff. Kyle wrote in the chat, preparing for an all-wood economy.
So that's what me and Kyle do now when we're playing Age of Mythology.
So we were playing against three people,
and the game does a shit, it's an awesome game,
but it does a shit job sometimes of making sure resources are the same on
both sides.
And so sometimes, like, it happened in this game.
Me and Kyle ate through everything.
All of our food, all of our
gold in like 40 minutes.
And then the other team had a ton of shit
over there. And we're like, fuck. So we just have
our market going and we start trading resources.
We chopped every tree
on the map down to the point
that there was no more wood.
And that was our all wood economy.
Because you can sell the tree for gold
and then use the gold to buy food.
So you can switch to an all-wood economy,
as it were.
And that's what ends up happening at this point.
We can have a lot of fun.
Anyway, I just want a truck
that can perform work.
That's our...
I recently had to haul a bunch of asphalt.
I was like borrowing equipment
from other people and such.
So anyway, how cool would it be to own this guy right here?
I'll see if I'm able to, like, what is this even going to show?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Someone's showing me something like this and saying, look at how cool that is.
It's like someone who's into math showing me a cool calculator.
Like, it's work that I don't want to do.
I don't want to do I don't
Work I could do with this
Look at that we'll go to picture number three like it looks like a regular pickup truck But you go back to picture number one boom stealth dump truck. Oh
My god, yeah, that's real good.
Why do you need this?
This looks like something that someone's been killed in.
Or at least their body transported it.
It looks like a very utilitarian vehicle.
It looks like it could do a lot of work and a lot of varied kinds of work.
Anytime you need to haul a thing and dump it out,'ll be excellent for that what operates the lift i'm going to talk in long
sentences so that the delay doesn't matter okay i hear you um it says the dump works well i assumed
it was hydraulic this thing is fucking older than me don't this car. I bet it's a pump.
It's an 87.
Were you born after 87? What year were you born?
91.
I finished high school that year.
Motherfucker.
Yeah, I'm only 25.
And that car is like 28.
27. Whatever.
But that car does a whole lot more work
than that motherfucker. No, 16, 21.
No, 22, right?
Am I wrong? 22?
What?
I'm literally doing the math.
Of how old I am?
29, my mistake.
No, of how old this truck is. No.
Yeah. So what are we going to do about Kyle and his delay?
Do we switch over to Skype and hope it sucks less than it did
a half hour ago?
You want me to try leaving and then joining back
and seeing if that gets things back on track somehow?
I like that idea.
If that truck were in a professional
sport, it would be in the twilight
of its career.
If that truck were in a Pixar movie,
who would voice it?
It would be Larry the Cable Guy.
Who would voice that truck on Pixar?
Alright, come on, Kyle. This actually did work last time when we used this service i remember he fucked up a little bit and he left and came back and it worked so maybe it will hopefully
it's aggravating it's so difficult if i feel like people underestimate how hard it is to try and
have a conversation with someone who's even like a second and a half behind you or ahead of you it's so much more difficult infuriating fire fixed it we just fire we just need to do this
repeatedly throughout the show yeah yeah 20 30 times i don't mind that's what i'm here for
all right so you're good anyway so i would say don't get that truck. There's nothing about it that says this is a good purchase.
Let me take another look. Let's see. A 1987 F356.9 liter diesel truck, non-turbo.
That's good. Automatic power windows and locks. That's surprising. Very nice. Has new glow
plugs, which, you know, new glow plugs, batteries, front tires. I don't know very much about
diesels.
I know that Kloge's ones are...
It is not blood on the floor mats.
My mother bakes a lot.
This is weird.
Those are deer guts in the fan belt.
Is a good old truck, but has a few issues.
Speedometer does not work, but tachometer does.
Seems like an easy fix.
Car is known to come to life when you walk out of sight.
Oh, got two fuel tanks, I see.
If you want a knit truck,
this one is not for you, but if you want a good
dependable work truck,
this might be the one. 4x4
works good. Dump bed
will dump full load of
wet mulch with no problems.
Has a few leaks, but nothing major.
Only reason I am selling is
I got another truck.
Asking $4,200, I have almost
two grand in receipts for the work done
in the last year. Might consider
a trade for a skid steer.
Truck was also featured in episode
six of Making a Murderer.
Look, I
like this truck. I think you should get it.
And once you get it i mean you could
it would take like another thousand dollars to make it look sharp and get those dents out
i i don't know if you're even interested in that though because it's a fucking
tool right now yeah i feel like what he wants to be able to beat this to shit and not care
my um as if i don't know he's got that big dent on the bed what if we clean it as a goof though like i could put flames on the side you could make it sharp
i i like that idea i look i like i imagine that truck is red like candy apple red with like two
or three coats of clear nice and shiny as fuck straight on the sides because it's not an ugly
body style truck and you know throw in some high intensity lights put a put a, straight on the sides, because it's not an ugly body-style truck. And, you know, throw in some high-intensity lights,
put a light rack on the top,
put some, not anything silly with wheels and tires,
but put some good, dependable wheels and tires on there.
Not Coopers, of course.
Wings would shit himself.
Wings should be here for truck talk.
What's wrong with Coopers?
Oh, man, I bought some...
When Wings was staying at my house,
it was time to put some new tires on my Camaro,
and my Camaro came with pirelli
z-rated tires or some shit and those motherfuckers are like four or five hundred dollars a piece
all right so i was not gonna put those on there because i'm not a race car driver i mostly use
that car to go to wendy's so i put coopers on there which the tire salesman said was just as
good of a tire the harder tire um that would that would last longer
it wasn't as good performance wise but like i said not really a race car driver yeah um and they were
like i don't know six hundred dollars cheaper for the whole set or five hundred dollars cheaper it
was a good deal and i went with those wings was there at the time and he really poo-pooed my
decision which i laugh at wings opinions on things like like that. So it's just silly because Wing said it more than anything.
Yeah, I'm really cautious to say something negative about
Wing's or anything.
It's not just tire advice. It's financial advice.
And Kyle saved $600 or $700
because he didn't buy a premium
that he doesn't take full advantage of anyway.
Probably smart.
That's perfectly phrased.
Yeah, so it was probably the right call for him.
Well, that's not about trucks.
I don't know. The other day I...
Trucks and cars.
All right, I will say this, though.
I hope you do get that truck.
I like the idea of putting another couple grand into it
and making it look sharp.
It doesn't have to be.
Imagine if it were just nice matte black
and straight on the sides
just to get the dents pulled out.
You can get dents pulled out
and it's not exactly body work.
They're not slapping Bondo on
and straightening everything out.
But there's guys who can just kind of massage dents out
from the inside with these special tools
and get them like 90% there.'s it's much nicer than you're
imagining like i've seen them i have this new friend the general contractor and uh prior to
that he's he's done a bunch of jobs like he used to make trailers and i don't know he's some sort
of amateur motorcycle racer but he used to do body work and uh you know he can name you the price on
like every one of these panels apparently they
just stamp them cheap in china he's like for that like that rear i'm sure he'd replace it and be 150
bucks and uh he used to paint them he says that's a good point he paints them i know your father
paints them expertly uh i think he doesn't he like tries to find a day that's not that windy
you know and and or maybe just, does your father paint himself?
Oh, my God.
Yeah, he does all the painting himself.
When he paints, he doesn't have what you would call a professional painting booth by any means
because those things have huge HEPA filters, suck it.
There's no air coming in at all that isn't purified.
But what he does do is he closes everything down completely,
pulls all the doors shut, tapes the doors shut,
and then the night before he wets every corner and inch of the room,
including the ceiling.
Everything gets washed, and then he does it again the day of
so that any dust or just so wet that it's not in the air anymore.
It's really a sterile environment.
Because just the tiniest piece of dust
or dirt, you can see it.
It's really evident.
My friend's style is more appropriate for this truck, which included
you try to
keep the bugs out, but there's always
at least one in there.
There should
be one mosquito in the clear coat.
I feel like it's appropriate.
It's not mosquitoes.
It'll be these little gnats or a fly.
And I've seen my dad use techniques to fix that
because the fly will be stuck in the clear coat there.
Sometimes they'll walk.
These motherfuckers will walk.
And you would think it's a fly's footprints.
How bad could it be?
You see the trail it leaves all the way across your paint.
And it kills it eventually
so you can't even torture it you know
but every now and then you catch one you can take
your time with them
how much torturing can you do to something that size
magnifying glass
I've got very special fly torturing tools
so endless hours of torturing
they're a hardy bunch
no not at all but
I've seen them use like razor blades and hooks and stuff
to very carefully remove a bug from the paint.
But then you've still got that little piece of the clear coat
that now has to be sanded out, and then you've got to do another coat.
And sometimes they'll just do coat after coat of clear coat
until one of them goes perfectly.
It might be a fun project.
Get that thing, clean it up a little bit, and then it'll be mine.
It could be nice. I think so. I like that idea a fun project you'll get that thing clean it up a little bit and then it'll be mine it could be nice i think so i i like that idea a lot for you and the best part is you're saving like forty thousand dollars that can go to your pool or your sauna or or the the solarium or
or the horses yeah i feel like um god knows you you need to know you need a new hobby. I'd love to see you add a whole new wing onto the Woodworth estate.
I feel like right now, once you get that wood shop appointed,
you've got like, it's like Woodworth's Automotive,
Woodworth's Woodworking.
You've got like eight different department stores there.
Yeah, you're just playing with them on your land.
I feel like right now I'm building the-
Dude, I-
Well, this is where the post office is gonna be!
Well, well, Matt, I just- I don't- you're just- there's a lot of money getting spent here,
and you know, I'm going to college soon, I just-
I'm checking!
This is where the post office will be, and the bakery will be down the lane!
And there's-
Look! Look! in the end times,
you're going to appreciate that I built a library
there. We're going to need a library and
two barracks and one counter
barracks and five houses. I feel like
what I'm doing right now is I'm building the infrastructure.
You're really putting it together. I'm getting
a woodworking and a metalworking sort of
stuff.
I am the mayor of Woodtown.
I'm going to be able to work metal and wood in this thing.
And then who knows what comes next.
I saw a guy build a hover bike on Reddit.
I'm like, maybe I should build a fucking hover bike.
That sounds cool.
Oh, I watched that.
Oh, yeah.
That's for you.
Oh, my God.
What a bad idea.
Not to say that you couldn't make one of those really well, but just watching that guy do it.
I'm like, this is six seven minutes fucking tops
primo performance from this thing or you're losing the foot at the ankle because there is a small
piece of light plastic protecting that blade from the back of your foot it looked like there was a
ring and the blade was a few inches lower than it it was there's a tiny little bit of plastic
that hangs down from like where he's pedaling or not pedaling.
And the blade is within four inches of that little plastic thing.
And if it goes wrong, that little plastic thing isn't going to stop shit.
That's a great idea.
Very innovative.
But at least wear some armor.
Like some pauldrons or something.
He crashed it several times, right?
Propellers are spinning into the earth.
Like, I don't know why.
I wouldn't want to be near anybody using that.
Have you seen that
French hoverboard thing that
they made a video of the guy literally flying?
Above the water?
Yeah. I think you showed
me that. That was really neat.
Have you seen this thing?
Maybe.
No, it's not the hover bike.
He's standing on a platform
and that's it. He's standing on a thing,
this circular thing, and it takes off
and he's just standing there,
flying through the air, over the water.
Yeah, I don't understand how it works at all.
Alright, but let me find this
thing because I'm
surprised Woody hasn't seen it. It's really
fucking cool and I had Kitty contact him and I got word back from him.
No, no, this is not the water one.
No, no, no.
This is a thousand times cooler than that.
Yeah, the water one was neat, but it's not as cool
because you can still see the connection of you to the earth level, I guess,
because it's not ground, it's water.
I think I have seen this.
I think that's it, right?
Is this the one?
Is that the one you're talking about, Kyle?
I'm going back to whatever you put there.
She's wrote it just a few seconds ago.
No!
I'm watching together.
Well, now everything is all...
Please don't click watch together
oops well i guess i can't click the link at all either i need to click on the the link itself
are we ready to watch this i'm good to go zero yep and kyle is
he's oh k, you muted yourself.
Did you do that on purpose?
You're muted, Kyle.
No, you muted yourself.
Oh, he knows that.
Okay.
Maybe he's doing that so that his audio doesn't come through his mic or something.
All right. I'm ready to watch. All right. Three. Oh, I'm sorry. I need to put it on the big screen. his audio doesn't come through his mic or something.
Alright, I'm ready to watch.
Alright, three... Oh, I'm sorry. I need to put it on the big screen.
That's not the video.
That's not the video?
That thing is lame.
This is the video.
And this is the video, he says.
Well, shucks.
This is not lame.
That thing is lame in comparison to this thing
alright I'm cute up at zero all I have is a black screen so I have no idea
what's coming is everybody ready good to go three two one play music is better Flyboard!
Wait, a fire extinguisher? Is he gonna have rocket launchers?
Yes, because he might-
Ready?
That's the concern with this thing, this thing could explode
underneath him, this is a fucking test flight.
They're all wearing-
He's ready to put the dude out.
Yeah, this-
This is not the beach that you want to storm
but you know why be the guy that volunteered in your first
fucking hoverboard ride like double-down
I did I'd a totally done read this actually is cool with it
if you think it's so cool and he controlled this badass hoverboard with one of those trigger things that you used to have
that was attached by a thin wire to those shitty racetracks.
And you would, like, hold it down and it would keep, like, shitty cars that go
and eventually fall off.
That's what he's controlling this, like, billion-dollar Iron Man hobgoblin thing with.
Yes, he is the fucking hob
goblin that's what it's exactly what I was about to say he's he's nailed it he
needs a missus coming off that motherfucker oh my god yeah and you know
right now that guy's asshole is so tight he's not having fun he's so nervous he's
doing it over water wisely I'm gonna I want it yeah how does he not in the
loose like why is he so good at this?
You get strapped in.
What keeps your feet as your lowest point?
Yeah, what happens if he just tips forward, falls down, and then it just... Boom!
And then he just shoots into the water.
It's definitely got some sort of gyroscope-informed computer making sure that that doesn't happen.
Yeah, I know. It's the same reason on the ground this is different though this is this thing is
no it's real i uh kitty talked to him the other day
that was that is awesome so so what i was saying was that thing is well that might be beyond
my i'm not you know that kind of engineer capabilities.
Uh,
it's occurred to me like,
what if I were to start doing some interesting shit in,
in this?
What if,
what if this leads to Woody's lab,
right?
First you build like the,
the environment in which to create these things.
And then you create shit.
Just a thought.
Okay.
Not the hobgoblin.
She is the green goblin.
Green goblin.
You're absolutely right
thanks chiz let's all shit on chiz we tried to get chiz on the show what would you do
and he said no so we said that we said no over and over yes we we tried aggressively to get him
on the show and still no he said he wasn wasn't camera ready, which I assume you...
And I took that to mean that he had
a leather mask on and a biker cap
or something and there was something like that going on.
I don't know what not camera ready means.
He hasn't been speaking.
I usually roll in.
So, ball gag?
He's wearing nothing but a ball gag
and a paper boy hat.
Maybe it's like a fetish for him
to sit in and watch. It's like a fetish for him to sit in and watch.
It's like a voyeuristic thing.
He just likes it.
We should sell this to fans.
I know he likes it.
At a certain Patreon level,
you can sit here on mute
in the show.
That sounds awful.
That would go so well.
I bet people would be very respectful.
There's been a bunch of people that came and bought Age of Mythology to play with Taylor and I.
We play with usually a couple different fans every night.
We've been having a good time.
We've rotated a ton of new people in there recently
because so many people have added it.
You guys should get paid to play these games.
Yeah, lots of people.
Totally. We totally revived
the Age of Mythology.
I bet they had a spike in sales
that's notable. I bet
200 people bought the fucking game.
You should see the friend requests I've got from people
who said, I'm buying the game, I'm buying the game.
They fill up every day.
I've deleted all my old people and added only
Age of Mythology people at this point.
Yeah, that's what I'm having to do.
Speaking of revived, COD 4 is coming back. I think that's what I'm having to do. Speaking of revived,
COD 4 is coming back. I think that's
where Kyle might have just been heading.
And I don't know what to make
of this. A lot of people are like, COD 4,
yes, oh yeah, super
COD 4. It was the greatest
COD that's ever CODed, and it's
so wonderful. I think that
COD 4 by today's standards might be too
basic. Then again, CSGO is even at least as popular and that's probably more basic
but I'll be super popular and fun but like it's it's not going to expectation
of what you remember you know because you were you just don't you didn't have
that series of experiences on which to compare and I just want to say I know
Kyle's about to jump in that you know know halo was remastered halo 3 was remastered halo 4 maybe was remastered i forget
and uh like it didn't come back like in its former glory and you know take over the world
like halo once did uh it just like came and went real quick halo wanted two okay thanks uh cheers
It just came and went real quick.
Halo 1 and 2.
Okay, thanks, Chiz.
So old Halos were remastered and nothing big.
So Kyle, what do you think?
Why is COD 4 going to be better than Halo?
So they said they're going to remaster Call of Duty 4,
but they haven't really explained exactly what they mean by that.
Are they going to re-release the single-player campaigns,
in which case I'll stay home and I probably won't even bother at all
with any version of the game. But, are they going
to risk depopulating a brand
new Call of Duty with a
downloadable COD 4
Super Edition throwback, back to basics
pack, whatever you want to call it, where we can
get into multiplayer servers
presumably better than what we had
ever played COD 4 on before,
and play the same old game
as far as architecture, game mechanics,
and this is important.
The architecture has to be the same, the game mechanics
have to be identical. The M16
still has to be what it was.
It still has to be like 45 damage up close
and 35, you know,
breakdown from that. Still needs to be OP.
Juggernaut stopping power. Same shit.
Three frags. I don't want any changes at all.
And if they make them, then it won't
be what they're touting it to be,
which is COD 4 Remastered. It won't be that.
It'll be COD 4 Tinkered with,
and I'm not interested in that, even in the slightest.
So, if they do
risk depopulating their COD like that,
I'm definitely down. Two points. One,
I think they might, because I think Infinity
Ward's not next, are they?
So Infinity Ward might be
like, fuck it, I'll do it. I'm just
risking...
Maybe they are next, because it was just
the weird one.
Yeah, Infinity Ward is next, huh?
So maybe that's what Infinity... And ultimately,
it's an act...
It's an Activision decision.
What did Taylor say?
Like, for a year.
Like, so it always comes out in November or whatever.
Is this going to be the Call of Duty for the year
or is this just something else they're making?
That's certainly what I'm thinking.
Since it's Infinity Ward's turn,
it'll be...
Theirs is going to be a throwback thing.
They're going to be...
It's called...
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You think they're coming out with two
there's there's an yeah yeah that is what's happening here that's okay okay so the new
call of duty is very far in the future what's it called chis um it the newest call of duty from
the infinity ward people is a futuristic farther than we've ever seen it before call of duty
what they're saying is in addition if you buy the hardened premium edition, whatever they're going to call it, there's a COD4 remastered download
that comes along with it as DLC. It's a completely separate thing, and as I said earlier, the
real question is, is that separate thing that we're talking about multiplayer or single
player? Because if it's multiplayer, it's competing directly with this year's Call of
Duty, which is called Infinite Warfare.
I get it now.
Thank you for bringing me up to speed, Chiz and Kyle.
And maybe Taylor did too.
Who the hell knows?
Anyway, my opinion is that by today's standards from what players expect, they'll find COD 4 lacking.
They'll find Frag Times 3 to be a very broken mechanic.
They'll find only two guns to stand head and shoulders above the rest which are the mp5 and the
m16 to be kind of broken they'll be like this mp44 is no useful purpose whereas in modern cods and i
haven't even played the most recent ones but they do it like a much better job of balancing all the
guns than they did like it seems like every Treyarch in particular finds that makes the
guns better and better.
And yeah.
So did I,
I think that COD four,
if it were released today,
they would consider it shitty.
No,
I think you're totally right.
Like because of the memory and how much fun people have,
even if they really are super disappointed,
everybody's going to like be so up on it they're
gonna love it but it's like even in cod 4 like nobody really ranted and raved even the people
who are super pissed about balance issues no one was like on youtube because it wasn't a thing as
much being like oh the fucking m16 like at jd 2020 like fuck you this is ridiculous you think
this mp5 is fair there's a reason that optic every guy's using the m16 or whatever like it's just a different world now like i think that the flagrantness of
balance issues in cod 4 i.e three times frag martyrdom uh shit like that it's actually
gonna piss people off now because it's we're so used to being able to rant and rave about things
and then being like oh yeah i guess this submachine gun is a little bit too powerful. Let's tone it back.
Like, I don't know.
Like in the old YouTube scene, if people
uploaded too many like M16 videos,
they would get shit on by their audience. Like, let's see you
do good with another gun. Blame Truth used
to sell no, like frag times three
with like the circle and the slash, like no frag
times three. And I remember
he would complain that it was like
spawning in with a mini airstrike
and it's like you know he's not completely wrong like you know three nades what's an airstrike five
bombs like it's not too far um yeah it really is close to that yeah and you can pinpoint where
you're gonna hit those you know mini airstrikes way easier like grenades in that game are so good
they were very good yeah and I like the three frags
I've often said that I would trade
my gun for more grenades
The grenades were great
and I like that they're great
because in real life fucking grenades are scary
Yeah right I have
I've talked about this endlessly
In 2006 I set a precedent
I haven't taken a step back since
No I found my gun to be very useful in that game.
If someone threw a grenade in a room, you'd die.
So you just wanted to be like a paper boy with a satchel full of grenades,
just heaving them all over the place.
Five, six, or seven, yeah.
From a YouTube standpoint, because it got a little attention,
Syndicate said that he would, and he he would put all this because it was Twitter,
but he's like 1v1 M16 on Bog, right, with Cod 4 Remastered,
which kind of sort of implies maybe he'd do it again or who knows.
Would that be good or bad for Wings?
Wings has done everything.
It would be very good for Wings.
He's rebranded.
He's Geordie Jordan now.
He has no interest in that.
Even if you bring it up, he's like, did you have to
guys? I know it's internet lore.
But
Wings would rather that situation
get buried.
Here's what he needs to do. He needs to accept
that fight.
Fight. That match.
And play it. And go into it being
like a changed guy. like you know this doesn't
mean the same that used to for me like i'm changed i'm really trying to calm myself down it is just
a game but let's play and if he loses maintain that if he wins become the biggest most boisterous
asshole immediately boasting bringing up specific kills that he had, and how Syndicate,
if he wasn't such a fucking idiot novice,
could have outplayed him there.
And that Wings was anticipating him
playing into those traps, but it was so easy
that he just rolled right over him.
Syndicate, you've been slacking, just like totally
over-the-top
attack, revenge attack. That would be
hilarious, and all Syndicate's fans would get a little bit
pissed off, or at least pissed off and up
To click on a couple of his videos and like click it down
That's ideal for him. I feel like what I feel like we could
Okay, what if he lost?
I know he took his rage to a whole new level if it was just guttural screams and
Frustration and he broke multiple controllers controllers
that he wasn't even using at the time right you know he could just like grab
other broken controllers and break them more and and no no no it pans it's just
him and he loses he throws one controller and then he can't pans the
camera over and he's got one of those will it blend blenders and there's another controller already in there he just goes and that's how he ends his stream when's the controller that would be the greatest thing
oh and then he pans the camera like a little more hydraulic press you know smash the controller
you could have a cheap bottle press it doesn't matter right see you're going about this the
wrong way because you're assuming that wings is gonna lose not as you should do this should be like
A rocky this should be like rocky to remember rocky one. You know he he did he did well
He went the distance, but he lost and it and then rocky to he trains even harder
And he comes back with this time he beats Apollo Creed
That's we we need wings in some sort of FPS bootcamp part two where he's being trained by like I don't know like
Hastro comes in and like like we get feel like like like some old-school cod people because that's what you know in there
Whatever the fuck he's doing these days like oh, and they're training wings and lots of montages of wings fucking
Fear moho, okay, okay?
This blisters on his thumbs
Band-aiding them up, and he's just nothing but cod for for weeks and weeks
or months. Dude, the lead up to this
could be fantastic. A giant tub
wings with like a sweat band. A giant tub of ice water
A giant tub of ice water
and instead of he gets, he's in a towel
and instead of taking the, or he's in a robe
takes the robe off like he's gonna get in
he's fully clothed and then he just dunks
his thumbs in. I got it.
I got it. I got it.
Yes! No! Fuck you, Chiz! I already had the idea.
No. You fucking win a stadium.
You sell tickets.
You sell tickets and you get the fans
out there at one point chanting
wings and they're all going, wings!
Wings! Wings!
Wings! And they start flapping their arms.
That would be the wings.
Dude, we could do like a PKA meetup
where we watch it. We could rent a movie theater
and just like live stream this shit.
This would be so great.
This is a PKA idea. It's totally not happening.
But I would love
to watch. But it's only Wings
because all Wings has to do
if we get Wings and Syndicate on, they wouldn't
do it. Damn it.
We couldn't get
seven, you know,
random bugs to duke it out in a cage.
We're not gonna rent
Ohio Stadium
and get a bunch of people in there
to walk. That's fucking bananas.
I had legal concerns!
We're gonna orchestrate something
where we involve ticket salesmen,
brokers, mediums,
all of these different avenues that take a lot of work.
The three of us who couldn't get six bugs to fight in a small playoff
are going to do that.
No, that's nonsense.
But it is funny.
We could do something that way.
If you wanted to tone it down
into something that could really happen,
I could livestream it.
I would watch it on Ustream
briefly.
I would watch it for like,
I'm talking about it now, I'd be watching it.
There's no way in fuck
I would sit there and watch a 1v1
of those two on Bog or whatever.
I think that Syndicate
is... I think Wings
wouldn't do it. You would promote this thing like a fight.
You would promote this thing like a fight
and I feel like in the
end there would be money to be made on
the stream somehow because you would have to
pay-per-view this shit and you could do
ticket sales, but I think
in the end that Wings wouldn't be interested in
peeling this band-aid off again. Yeah, yeah, pay-per-view, totally.ings wouldn't be interested in peeling this band-aid off
again. Yeah, yeah, like pay-per-view, totally.
Wings wouldn't want to pull this band-aid off
again, and I feel like... Next time!
...wouldn't want to do it either.
Fighting! Out of the right corner!
Wing corner!
Whatever, wing, whatever much.
Yeah, we could rent
Bruce Buffer for like $60 million.
Will you do it
for like a few tons?
Is that?
Yeah.
That is accurate.
What would the nicknames be?
What would the fighter names be?
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Shit.
Oh, what would it be?
Oh, Kyle, you just thought of something,
and you realized that you shouldn't say it.
Because I know that sometimes you'll think of something,
and then you close your eyes.
I don't know if you're closing your eyes or just looking down,
but I imagine you're closing your eyes like,
not right now, not today.
You know, and you're just biting your tongue on things.
Yep.
I don't know, but I would love to see that.
And hey, you mentioned doing some sort of PKA meetup.
I'd like to do that.
I don't know what it would be.
You know, we always talk about that.
We've done a bunch of PKA meetups.
You know, we joke about, you know, the bug fight's not happening,
but that was just madness anyway.
There were disgusting bugs that would have
to be in my house. There's legal issues in the story.
But we've done many
meetups and paintball trips
and all kinds of stuff like that.
We made the survival trip happen and we
did our little trip ziplining and such.
So I think we should do another thing.
I don't care what it is
at all
or where it is.
But I'd like to do a thing.
Chiz is making fun of you down there right now.
Going, legal issues, lol.
Yeah, it's hard to get a spider to sign a waiver.
Yeah, and then he misspelled waiver.
Ah, to sign a waiver.
It's not about getting a spider to sign a waiver.
It's about the fact that because we're in the public eye,
there are people who might try to make an example of us.
Imagine that.
Or someone might go specifically to the guy you rat people out to
about animal cruelty involving insects.
And I don't know, maybe we're getting some nefariously imported bugs
and we end up in some sort of black market bug scandal. I don't know, maybe importing, maybe we're getting some nefariously imported bugs and we end up in some sort of black market bug scandal.
Like, I don't know.
It just seems shady.
And Kenny said no.
The furthest left person.
Of getting things done.
With environment.
He has mailed me both a flamethrower and a drone recently.
So Kyle is making shit happen as far as I'm concerned.
happen as far as I'm concerned.
I've been doing I've been having to go back and forth to the post
office a lot and doing a lot, overnighting a lot
of packages and forms and such
and so yeah, I've
been, I've been
dutious lately getting things done.
That SD card, I tried to
get it the other day. Let me tell you
I think, let me show you this.
If you gave me that SD card
that footage would actually get up on YouTube.
It really would.
What is...
I'm looking for the headshot footage.
I looked in the disc that I thought it was in.
I can't see that.
Yeah, you're...
Can you leave and come back with your video?
You're too fuzzy.
Can you leave and come back?
He's doing it.
He's going to need to do that periodically tonight.
It appears that with kyle's internet connection none of the streaming services that we're used to are working well so i
don't know i think i got it right here somewhere um i looked where i thought it was the day i was
mailing you that package one more time because you changed places when you left and came back
no i think i got the the thing here um i think it's one of these but what happened was what had
happened was on
The day that I was mailing either the drone or the flamethrower
I was like ah I'll send that that card as well
And I start going through the cards, and I couldn't find it there was one in particular
I thought it was because it's stuck in this adapter this USB adapter, but it wasn't on there
I went through all that footage, so I'm still looking for the footage. I've got it somewhere though
It's not even that crazy or impressive.
You just see Woody get shot in the head and it's
a fleeting moment.
There's no way for this to
live up after all the
hype. People are going to think
that some guy made Woody get on his knees
and then kicked him in the chest or something.
It's still a scar.
It's right here. There is a circular
scar on my head.
Yeah, I can actually notice that.
Now that you mention it, now that we brought this up, some guy sent me in my PO box literally this many USB adapters to do that thing.
Although I've got one. Just send me this many.
And then what was the other thing that I got oh he sent me a framed picture
of you with the wound on
your head and he circled
the wound and it says
never forget
the whole package
the wrapping was a giant
photograph of me black and white
just my face folded into
a package and taped up that's he also
sent you a random magic card that you texted me about didn't he sorry you were you were shaking
your head in the delayed video and i thought that meant you were disagreeing with me but then you
shook your head yes because you were not delayed but yeah he sent that to you and you texted me a picture of it and we're like look at this guy sent me and i'm like oh that's
neat and i checked i'm like i don't even notice this card and so i went and looked at it and this
dude just sent kyle for no reason a completely useless out of date card that's beyond common
you can get it for like 14 cents and just sent him one card one piece of shit card what is start his collection
is it like a compact flash card the magic oh magic card no magic card i got confused yeah
just a magic card that he sent you and one penny card well kyle you're not prepared to lose badly
at magic with one card uh--oh. We either just lost Kyle
or he is about to
have a recap about a crime he just
committed because he is in black
and white and freeze-framed, and that's kind of what
happens sometimes.
Oops! No, now he's gone.
No, now he's back. Yeah, we just need
the other version to leave.
Smoke. Smoke.
Fire.
Close enough.
Get out past Kyle.
I switched to line number two.
Line number three is coming any day now.
They trenched the thing the other day.
I don't know what their holdup is.
Internet companies are just awful, awful people.
Yeah.
I mean, and they like you.
So I don't know why they haven't been prioritizing it.
Yeah.
I think they hate you.
You tend to catch a lot of – no, go ahead.
The guy came the other day and, like, trenched the line or came in and told us what the deal was.
Like, he was there to kind of determine if the line was going to work, like if we could get internet from them where we were.
And he did all of his tests, took all of his readings,
measured everything, and then just fucking left.
Me and Kenny just looked at each other like,
did he talk to you? I was like, no.
Did he talk to you? No. He just left.
I don't know if we've heard back from him since.
I don't know what's going on with that bullshit.
Did they dig a hole in your property?
There's a hole, yeah.
They trenched.
But did they lay a cable in there? I would imagine there's a hole yeah they did you know they trenched but did they lay a cable in that i would imagine there's a line like
i haven't really looked they cover probably so yeah yeah
well that's encouraging but
i did not see there was a bulldozer fight in china yeah there was uh
apparently two construction crews.
You want to watch this together?
Yes.
All right.
It's not very long.
Now, do I click watch together right now?
No, please don't.
If you do, then it'll push all you guys out and I won't have your screens anymore.
Yeah.
Anyway, are you ready?
Yep.
Ready, set, play.
Kyle's delayed.
It's hard to see which team is which.
I mean, clearly you've got two people battling here,
but soon, and this is a major hockey faux pas,
you'll have a third man in.
What in God's name is going on here?
There's no build-up.
It's just a scene of a bunch of tractors fighting.
It's just like a union dispute.
Yeah.
This is the worst Transformers movie yet.
Yeah.
None of them are pissed off enough to just transform.
Oh, he... This is ridiculous.
What the fuck?
Look, there's a fourth guy there.
Two cars just drove by like this wasn't...
There were bulldozers fighting.
Oh, look.
Is it Saturday?
Look, if you're gonna...
Oh, an assist.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, third man in.
Look at that guy. What a dick.
Climb aboard, Michael.
Oh, the fourth man in!
This is... Okay, here's a pro tip for those of you
who are dabbling in the world of bulldozer
fighting. Being the last
person in is a guarantee
of success.
Yes. Because
everybody else is just beating the shit out of each other.
And they're not even mad at each other, I don't think, unless there are teams.
Because this dude just got out of a bulldozer that had been tipped and ran over to another bulldozer and just hopped in.
So everyone's heard early bird gets the worm, right?
But sometimes second mouse gets the cheese is the philosophy that you want to follow.
And this seems like one of those.
Yep.
philosophy that you want to follow and this seems like one of those yep or if any like it sixth bulldozer gets the win in this fight but if there were seven that's gonna catch on
no it's not very catchy that's not going to be sewn into any throw pillows anytime soon
yeah that's really ridiculous so chis what's the backstory of it uh apparently the bulldozers were
there was some sort of dispute over like who should be doing that job and they started fighting
each other disputing turf on the job yeah good lord and they all think they're gonna still have
a job after they destroy millions of yen in equipment or probably like billions of yen, right? Because it's not worth as much.
You got to spend a lot of it, maybe.
It's China, right?
And the yen is Japan, right?
Donald Trump.
Oh, well, what the fuck is China?
I don't know.
But I feel like you were racist there.
No, they switched to yen.
I stand by it.
Just like Kyle's, i would trade my gun
for grenades they've they are using yen in china now so those countries really have a long history
of of companionship if you look into it so it makes sense
it's they do not the what the one the one the one one yeah like the guy who cut your grass one ren me be
ren min me i've only heard it sounds like a soccer player
so what was i gonna say i had something something about my vlogs that I can't remember.
It was interesting and relevant to Painkiller already, and it's gone.
Oh, well, my mistake.
Gone.
We could talk about Game of Thrones.
Yep, that's where I was going.
Well.
Yep, there we go.
So everybody liked it. We discussed it briefly on pkn yeah i think
every one of us liked it and every one of us is mostly on the same page about dorn being the only
part of that first episode that was beyond the pale bad like nothing else was like there was
stuff in that episode that didn't thrill me like the amount of information you get in Arya's little section
kind of pissed me off.
Nothing was answered.
They just swoop in, make a bunch of questions, and leave.
You have to at least titillate me with a little answer.
So that one wasn't good, but it was fine.
It'll get better.
But good God, Dorne is fucking horrible.
It is so beat.
So the Jon Snow thing was barely
advanced to me. It's like, ooh,
Jon Snow died. I think we all know that.
And then everyone else was just kind of like,
oh, these are my reactions to
Jon Snow's death. I'm sad.
I'm happy.
I could have told you
the Jon Snow stuff before we saw it because it didn't
really do much the circe stuff right her plot line wasn't advanced and as people were defending it
it might have been kyle it was like oh you got to see circe react to her dead daughter yeah that to
me is not plot advancement like i could have told you that she would be unhappy with that news and
that's really all we saw circe's unhappy with that news. And that's really all we saw. Cersei's unhappy with that news. No, that's not true.
We also saw her getting back together with Jaime,
which we haven't seen since season one.
It's huge.
It's a massive transition in her story and Jaime's story
because now after the Riverlands,
after his trip to Dorne,
it's been years and years now since season one,
since they've been back together,
focused and motivated. And that's what they are now. Now the been back together um focused and uh motivated and that's
what they are now now the lannisters are focused and motivated like jamie went now like she was
still being her nasty manipulative self yeah but but it wasn't like they both thought it was a good
idea he was still kind of begrudgingly going and it was only at like her behest and their threat
like neminified that that has not happened since season one since they were fucking in that
broken tower or something yeah um i agree i thought that was big okay all right i i guess i
get that cersei and and jamie being same team is a thing but i it didn't strike me as as monumental
as it seemed to have stricken you um I don't want to say any spoilers.
Go ahead.
The fans asked us to spoil the fuck out of it.
I don't want to.
No. Did they really?
On the subreddit, they took a straw poll.
Oh.
Okay.
I would still feel bad.
Honestly, there was nothing in this episode
that you could tell me that even if I hadn't read the book i i would be super surprised by like there was nothing huge
that was divulged it would be hard to spoil something that would ruin your day that's right
from this episode if you saw the finale for season five then there's not a season six is a big old
recap and that was the big criticism even i could see that you could jump right into episode two
and just from like the two minute roundup you know at the beginning of episodes that you could jump right into episode two and just from like the two minute roundup, you know, at the beginning of episodes that you could kind of be know what page it was on and you could kind of pick it up from there.
Like, good Lord, you know that when you get back to Dorne, like I wasn't paying attention for a lot of that anyway, because the dialogue is just painful and you're trying to forget that this scene exists in a show that you really, really love.
But, oh my God.
Oh, the Sansa Stark scene.
I was going to say what you said, too.
That was the best part of the episode.
It was a plot line that you didn't know was going to happen.
So that's worth something.
Yeah.
You know, like, all right.
I didn't expect Sansa to be the best.
A new thing that happened here.
Yeah, Sansa can be the best.
For a long time, I've been waiting for her to enter the Game of Thrones.
You know?
And every so often, she'll seem to be matching wits with little finger.
And then that just fades off.
And then suddenly she's like getting raped by,
uh,
is he Ramsey Ramsey?
Yeah.
And then you're just like,
all right,
now she's back to being,
I hate like characterize rape victims in a negative way,
but she's not in a position of strength anymore
and uh you know that's well no she hasn't been in a position of strength since her
her brother well her position of strength was taken down when her dad died but then when rob
died that's when her position of power really fucking dropped off and she was more like a
bargaining chip instead of like like something you could trip or i guess
she was less of a bargaining chip because up until that point they were like yeah we'll do this with
you and we won't kill sansa or we'll give sansa back to you and you do this for us but then when
rob died it's like well now winterfell is completely scattered now we just got to keep
you because your only use is to kind of be a a flag banner of yeah we, we still got one. Like join us. Like that's about it. Yeah.
Like I,
even when she was just a bargaining chip,
it always seemed like there was this possibility that she could be clever and
be more than a bargaining chip.
Right.
Like,
um,
who's the girl that's married to the current King Marjorie,
you know,
like,
yeah,
I feel like she's always maneuvered in her situations
by being clever and desirable
and such.
Not anymore.
Now she's in a dark spot.
Yeah, but I have a
feeling that she'll use her wit
to get out of it.
No.
You don't think so?
There's nobody in there
who's gonna be like oh really
well let me just let you back would you like some water
no they're in there like
beating the shit out of her ass
she's gonna tell Tommen like look you need to
sack up and save me and Tommen
is gonna fuck the shit out of this
dude there's no way
Tommen's not gonna go in and fix it and then also there's no way thatlin's not going to go in and fix it
And then also, there's no way that that bitch of a lady
In her weird, you know, gown
Is going to walk in and be like
Oh my god, there was a misfiling of paperwork
When we brought you in
And unfortunately, we're no longer legally able to keep you
Tomlin's going to sack
Here's your watch and jewelry
Tomlin is going to be
Here's your watch, your jewelry. Here's a manila envelope.
Tommen's a big fan of the sex he's been getting.
He's going to say,
you know what? Let's kick that back up again.
He's going to save the day in this Sparrows thing.
Here's what's happening.
Sorry.
You jumped in right there.
You're still delayed for me, Kyle.
I can't tell.
Oh, God damn it.
Maybe I'm delayed.
But regardless, Tommen –
Well, I'm just going to start right up again.
Tommen is not going to do anything because he's weak and ineffectual,
and he is like a 9- or 10-year-old child in reality in the books.
And even in the show, he's just a little kid.
He's a mama's boy.
He has no power or at least no idea of how much power he does have.
He's not doing anything.
The only person who has power who is motivated to get Margaery out is the Queen of Thorns and by relation, Littlefinger.
So I picture Littlefinger rounding up the Knights of the Vale, the Queen of Thorns going
back home rounding herself up an army and those two armies are going to be doing something
big this year. That's what's really happening. Yeah, that could be.
I just, yeah, I'm totally on the same page with you with Tommen.
Like, he's a child.
Like, you can't just be like, oh, Tommen's a pussy.
You mean he doesn't want to get engaged in, like, a war or a battle
and see people that he knows dies?
Like, no, of course not.
Like, he's a kid.
He doesn't know what to do.
He's a child.
If your parents was
if like half the people in your family were just fucking dead and getting constantly murdered and
then the one person who's left in the city with you gets kidnapped and everybody's coming up to
you like hey fucking third grader figure this out bitch and he's just like oh i can't even color in
the lines yet you're expecting me to figure this shit out here's what i think it's not you're seeing
and tommy get on the same page and they fuck some sparrows up that. Here's what I think. Circe and Tommen get on the same page,
and they fuck some sparrows up.
That's what I think is going to happen.
No.
Nope.
Tommen will try, I think, last second to do something
after being advised.
It won't work, and Margaery and her bro
are going to end up getting dead.
They're going to get killed. Definitely getting dead. They're gonna get killed.
Definitely her brother. I am convinced of that.
I think they've already done something terrible to Ser Lorre.
Her brother's been like, something awful has happened to him and we'll get caught up on him soon, I bet on it.
But Cersei has no reason to want Margaery out. Then she loses her control over Tommen.
If anything, Cersei has to direct
Tommen toward Dorne, because that's what's coming. The Lannisters have to go to war with
Dorne, they just killed her daughter. That's totally what's coming. And the Dornish people
want to go to war with the Lannisters. That's coming as well.
Yeah. Hmm. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Chiz, the books don't fucking matter anymore that's totally right
um but am i right about what i wrote there
whose brother uh marjory's sir loris
um no i don't believe that's correct from the book, unless I am really misremembering.
I definitely remember he was said to lead a battle.
He was said to lead some war, defeat some force.
Maybe it was Stannis, and I thought he lost him.
Yeah, it hasn't been established if they're dead or...
I mean, they're still alive in the book, so they're not dead yet.
But I'm saying, I think, in the show,
which is now wildly different than the book,
that Ser Loras and Margaery are going to be dead real soon because if they're going to be keep giving minutes upon minutes to dorn and that shit show down there like they can't afford to
keep another block i'm just going to spoil the heck out of this because i'm pretty sure that by
the time most people see this there'll be timestamps in the description and you've been warned. I'm about to spoil the heck out of it.
In the books,
Sir Loras isn't captured by the Sparrows.
Instead,
Cersei sends him to lead some battle.
And I think it's like an impossible task,
if I recall correctly.
And he was either going to die doing it or he was going to,
oh,
or he was going to like be away from um i think tommen who
he was like teaching to the tommen started to really look up to sir loris and she didn't like
that if i recall correctly tell me if i get any of this wrong so um uh so in the book he goes away
to wage war on behalf of cersei real honorable good, and I thought he died. Taylor's saying
he doesn't know if he died
or he didn't die, but
in my head, I guess I'm bringing it up
because if Ser Loras is dead in the books,
I know they've
diverged, then that would imply
that he might die from the sparrows.
Yeah, she
really, in the books,
she Bathsheba's him, which which is are you familiar with that bible tale
the story of bathsheba and king david i mean i am but for kyle's benefit
for kyle's benefit well it's similar to this gather around kids so king david was a king in
israel of judah after the tribes had broken up. And he was, God fucking
loved King David. He said
you're a man after my own heart. And that means a lot
when God's saying it because he also made a ton
of shit people that he would never say that to.
So, it's all about David.
David was dope. Did everything
right. Eventually he was up on his roof
of his palace while the war was
going on. Just looking around his kingdom. Sees a
naked chick in a bath on the roof. She's a fox.'s he kind of looks at her for a little bit like masturbates
under like the the palisade and eventually as you do and eventually after like laying sleep
nights masturbating furiously uh hoping god wasn't watching he eventually is like all right
i gotta go over there so he finds out that she's married to this dude named Uriah. And Uriah is a soldier in his army.
And they're about to have a big battle.
And David goes up to Uriah and he's like, Uriah, dude, you're just the fucking guy that I was looking for.
My God, come with me.
Come with me.
You are front line fucking material, man.
You are front line.
Show me your arms.
Give me a flex.
Yeah, this guy.
And so he grabs him and pulls him up to the front.
He sets him there right in the front, and he goes, you're going to defend my homeland for Judah, you know, for Judah.
And then he goes, but I am going to fight back there because I'm the king.
You know how it is.
And so he backpedals, goes back to where he is, charges in.
As they're about to fight, he goes, hey, you know that first contingent up there?
Send them in.
Send them all in?
No, just that guy.
Honestly, just send Uriah.
So they send that line in.
They all just get massacred.
They eventually just fall back.
He goes back to his palace, goes to Bathsheba, goes,
I'm so sorry.
Your husband was tragically and randomly killed in the battle
that we didn't even lose that many people.
It was a really freak accident.
I mean, I think the casualties were one.
One got your husband. You know, shit people. It was a really freak accident. I mean, I think the casualties were one. One got your husband.
You know, shit luck.
It's the way she goes.
Anyway, you want to come over sometime?
And she, knowing that he's the king
and that God is all about her,
I believe she says yes eventually,
and they fuck.
But God and Jesus, one and the same,
they were not happy about that one bit.
And so they had to send a priest, Nathan, to David at one point
and did the whole Shyamalan twist where Nathan described the whole event of,
oh, so, you know, this other, he basically says,
what would you think about a guy who lusted after another man's wife
and sent that guy's wife or his husband, that lady's husband,
to die in a battle so that you
could fuck her and david was like that's awful i would never do that that's shit and i think you're
shit for bringing it up here you fuck haven't you heard to god god's on my team and then nathan goes
and nathan's a fucking prophet he had no idea he had no idea it was a prophet he just lied to a
prophet that's a big sin and and he's so ashamed he's like oh god you just Shyamalan me with your prophet and I
totally see what I did wrong but like I still get to go to heaven right and
God's like of course and so that was that was it but it really ties in with
what happened here and I think it was probably an inspiration I you could make
it a YouTube series I think every pka you should tell another abridged bible story it's fucking amazing
yeah she just said you should make a youtube series abridged bible stories i'm sure some
will love it but i want to cut myself i think bible stories are so interesting they are because
it's like you can see not to say they're all original but like the the morals that you see there
Those are so old and ingrained. It's just cool to see what people thought was good and bad
Back then you know like today
Like a hundred years from now people may look at what we think about morality and transgender people now and be like wow they were
Fucking backwards or oh wow they really hadn't gotten around to the gays yet
And but like you go to now and a super progressive thinks they're doing the right thing
round of the gaze yet and but like you go to now and a super progressive thinks they're doing the right thing back then like a super progressive was like oh oh you're beating your slave six times
don't you know there's a five beat maximum you fuck wow look at him six six hits for a slave
guy over here like but he thought he was progressive so it's just interesting to see
how that moves bible's bible's really interesting you
should read it if you haven't in all seriousness it's interesting i had a slave topic this is
gonna be uh you know pka edgy but i thought about it and i don't think my family's ever owned slaves
and here's why i say that my father's side there's only two sides to deal with here real quick
interjection, though.
That is not a bold statement at all.
The overwhelming majority of people never owned slaves.
Like, the average dude couldn't afford a slave.
Okay.
So, on my father's side, both of his parents were not American.
Right?
So, one was English, one was Irish.
My father was the first American on that side.
So, totally didn't own any slaves in
the 50s and 60s.
On my mother's side,
she was American for a really long time.
I think Hope is somehow
eligible for a Daughters of the Revolution
scholarship or something.
But she was a Yankee.
So totally not owning slaves.
And that covers
the two sides.
Daughters of the Revolution? What does that mean? I have no idea. totally not owning slaves. And that covers the two sides. I mean, some did.
Daughters of the Revolution? What does that mean?
I have no idea. It's something to do with your bloodline being old or
something.
And there's scholarships for that.
She's the descendant of someone.
Yeah, she's a descendant of
Daughters of the American Revolution. I think that's what it's called.
I think there's a scholarship for it. I could Google it.
But... And that's on my mother's side.
Mother and the Sons of Confederate Veterans.
I didn't know that.
That would be sexist and racist, Kyle.
It is a thing.
It totally exists.
It's 100%, yeah.
I'm sure it does.
There's a scholarship for everything.
Chiz found it.
Daughters of the American Revolution.
It's a scholarship category for people who have, I they're i don't even know what does this take uh
so is there a sons of american revolutionaries or whatever check your privilege would you
check your fucking privilege no there's no sons what what yeah none of the sons of this country died in that war yeah it's really
women who are the true victims of war that's a clinton quote that women are the true victims of
war well of course it's just i mean she's color me shocked that she pandered to another group. Like, of course. But anyway, Yankees, immigrants, no slave owning.
But then I was like, I don't know what Taylor's background is,
but Kyle might have some old Confederate blood in there.
I don't think I do.
Yeah, I really don't think so. I don't think any of my ancestors had. I don't know. I don't think I do. Yeah, I really don't think so.
I don't think any of my ancestors had.
I don't know. I don't know fucking shit.
I should hop on like Ancestry.com or something.
Because apparently it's super easy to figure all this shit out
and it should be something that I should care more than nothing about.
But I just don't care.
I know we didn't technically own them,
but there was some kind of contract in place
that was non-negotiable on their part. I do know that.
Really?
A contract in place?
Of course, yeah.
I don't think, no. I'm like 99%
sure that we probably didn't own any slaves.
Like Taylor said, I think that was like those
southern plantation-owning
fat cats that were really
pushing the whole slavery agenda.
The average Joe would look at a slave
like a Ferrari, I think.
Yeah, because you have to think about it like it's a whole...
Or maybe like a gigantic hydraulic press.
If you buy a slave, it's like, that's just not...
You can't just be like, all right, well, go back to bed.
And he's like, you haven't fed me.
And it's like, well, sucks to suck.
You have to take care of that person.
So an average dude who's like struggling to support his wife
and however many fucking kids they had back then,
like seven, enough to have a farm,
and then you just add another adult man in there
you have to take care of.
It's like that dude wouldn't be able to handle that.
You have to have like a hundred of them out there
so that you can have enough shit to sell to everyone
and pay for itself.
It's a recycle my joke.
You had to pay slaves a living wage. Right? Otherwise they would
die. That's true.
Well, you have to pay them in the form of food,
shelter, and nourishment.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't like slave talk.
You don't like what?
Slave talk!
Slave talk! How did we get on
slave talk?
Woody literally said, we're going to talk about slaves. That's how we got on slave talk how do we get on slave talk what he literally said we're gonna talk
about slaves that's right I wanted to talk about all right Kyle what you guys
you next I've been watching people over OJ Simpson and I thought it was one of
the best things I've seen in a really long time. Cuba Gooding Jr. plays OJ.
John Travolta plays Shapiro.
Ross from Friends.
Schwimmer plays Kardashian.
It's excellent.
It's 10 episodes long.
Each episode is roughly an hour, I would say.
And it's some of the best TV I've seen in a really long time.
And you might say, like, oh, I've best TV I've seen in a really long time.
And you might say, like, oh, I've seen, I know what happened with the O.J. Simpson trial,
I watched it on TV, or maybe you just, you know, have been caught up on it.
No, this really shows you every little thing that happened and fell into place that led
to O.J. Simpson being found not guilty.
And I found it fascinating, because I knew the broad strokes. I
knew what OJ had done. I knew that he was guilty based on just the little evidence that I was aware
of. I watched this thing on TV when I was like seven or eight with my grandma. But after watching
the show and hearing, you know, some of it's word for word quotes of the testimony. So you're
getting the actual facts. You're getting all the details and then you're seeing how the defense
picked that apart and how they distracted the jur're getting all the details, and then you're seeing how the defense picked that apart
and how they distracted the jurors and all the juror issues
and the issue with where the trial was held and all the little things that happened behind the scenes.
Mark Furman, the guy who found all the evidence,
they recovered tape of him literally saying about Judge Ito's wife
that she sucked and fucked her way to the top of the police force.
That cannot bode well for your prosecution when you've got something like that on your hands.
So it was just such a shit show that it was really worthy of making a whole television show about.
I loved it. I loved it a lot.
Maybe I'll give it a shot But I don't know
I'm just not interested
Right
You know
I didn't want to
I don't
It's not
It's not compelling anymore
As soon as Kyle started talking
I had all these
You'll get interested
Negative thoughts
And I was like
Keep your negative thoughts to yourself
Let him do his thing
And maybe Taylor will jump in
But no
Instead Taylor and I
Just both
Shit all over his topic like yeah i i no i'm not shitting over the topic itself i'm just saying that the
issue that they're making a document doesn't interest me like oh it's so good it's such a
small deal okay so let me say this i i you say that but when you watch the show you start to
understand the magnitude of what actually happened
and you start for a focuses in on the victims of all this the people who are
actually hurt
you look at Ron Goldman's family and see the that they're just sitting there just
wanting justice and they're crying their eyes out every step of the way when they
get fucked over by Johnny Cochran and Shapiro
you I swear it's compelling you start you get to the point where you're very invested
in these characters and you want to see what's coming
next. Marsha Clark's
story is really good. All the
race relations and how that plays into it.
Watch one episode. I think
it'll surprise you.
Is there an agenda behind it
of the people making
it clearly think that he did it or clearly
think that he did not do it?
So they don't ever show like,
they don't show OJ doing it.
They don't show OJ admitting to it or anything like that.
But it's clear that they're just showing the facts
and everybody thinks he did it.
The characters are portraying people who believe he did it.
So they in fact believe he did it. Kardashian they, in fact, believe he did it.
You know, Kardashian was his best friend,
but abandoned him and left him after the trial
because throughout the trial,
he goes from being O.J.'s closest friend,
a guy who's crying his eyes out
when he hears what's happened to Nicole
and that O.J.'s wanted for it,
to a guy who's like,
I gotta distance myself from this O.J. guy.
It was fucking him.
It was fucking him.
And then, I don't know.
Check out one episode.
I think you'll be surprised.
Incredibly strong acting performances, I thought,
especially by Cuba Gooding Jr., who plays OJ.
Did a really, really great job.
And Schwimmer.
Schwimmer did amazing.
Maybe I will.
I just got a Roku, so that's pretty neat.
I haven't had one of those streaming devices before. I a row and I don't really know where to start with shit
It broke after like two weeks
I
Hate mine it just you know what?
What is not intuitive where the fuck is the remote for this thing?
Well I don't know where the remote is but
i'll hold it up in a sec but the the control pad thing has the select button under it so you have
to constantly be like moving your thumb back it's just not intuitive i don't know why that bothers
me so much like i don't but i was trying to type something on it and having to like okay george oh thanks i am hell is this remote yeah no my roku 4 at first
it would just turn off like once an hour and then it turned it like every half hour every 10 minutes
and it got to where it couldn't stay working for more than like 10 seconds or so or wouldn't even
turn on it would just overheat instantly ah was it overheating or was it under powering did you so what powers
that thing does it have a little USB that like like it's like micro on one
side and it's like a USB on the other to power it yeah it's just it's just a plug
that goes into the wall and then HDMI to TV last name yeah no I don't want that
anyway I got the Amazon fire and I think it's slower with the apps maybe,
but it's like a thumb drive.
It's the size of a thumb drive, and you plug it in the back of your TV,
and then you're fucking done.
4K, though.
I can't get that anyway.
I don't have the speed.
Well, fuck me then, you know? I thought it was neat i hope they were hey guys
i got this new thing oh i had that new thing too it sucks it's awful you're gonna hate yourself
i had the roku and i liked it i liked the roku like i've got a roku and i've got uh the amazon
and i like them but yeah it's a three yeah for. Yeah, I've had that too. It's not the newest.
Yeah.
I like that too.
I haven't tried the app.
What I don't like about it is that you still have to go through a whole list
of shit, you know?
You have to turn it on and then go through
every video provider and try
and log in to shit and out of shit.
I don't know. it's really neat but
it's still not as convenient as just tv would be well i don't want to pay for tv
there are too expensive there are buttons for some of the better stuff like you hit the netflix
button right oh yeah netflix amazon radio i guess and sling so that gets you pretty far but like you said it you know if you want to
go from like uh i don't know netflix to amazon or netflix to hbo go it's not like they somehow
take the catalog and combine it into one experience you sort of leave one and go into the other they
should so that's what exactly so i want to but they don't I want to ask this is there any kind of third-party
App that does that because I have every app known to man on my device like I have every I have Netflix and Hulu and
Showtime and encore and stars and FX and the UFC stuff and all that stuff
I would love it if I could combine that giant library of shitty fucking movies because there's thousands of them
And I got sling TV to into like one search thing so i could be like you know die hard 2 and wouldn't have to
i would i would never watch die hard 2 maybe now the road does do that yeah yeah if you go to the
search it'll tell you like like if you would type in die hard 2 for example it'll tell you all the
channels that it's on and you know it'll be like like Netflix has it for free. Amazon has it for two 99.
This has it for that.
Um,
in this,
so the search interface goes across all of them,
but the browse interface doesn't.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well,
I didn't like that because there've been times when I've purchased things
that I didn't,
I didn't have to.
Yeah.
I was watching an episode of Seinfeld on the free service
crackle, because I was just fucking around with it
the other night, and I'm like, oh, what the hell
is this? So I look at it, and it just has
random episodes of Seinfeld
peppered on its screen, and I start watching it,
and there's so many fucking ads
that it's ridiculous. It's like
actually watching Seinfeld on TV, where it's like,
what? What are we doing here? And then it just goes
like, here at Sonic, we do this and that, and it's like what? What are we doing here? And then it just goes like, you know, here at Sonic
we do this and that. And it's just the fucking
so many ads before I eventually like
near the end of the episode I'm like god damn it
there's, this is free on like
three of the other apps that I have
right now. I could watch this on Hulu
I could watch this on fucking
Sling. I could watch it anywhere and I'm watching
it with ads on Crackle.
Which was silly. Did Hulu step up for ad free games? I can watch it anywhere, and I'm watching it with ads on Crackle, which was silly.
Did Hulu step up for ad-free games?
I continue to.
It's $11.99 if you want ad-free.
That's what I have.
$12.
I don't know how to upgrade.
I really wish I did.
A lot of the times, there are a couple apps
that I would like to unsubscribe from, and I would
love to upgrade my Hulu, but they don't make it easy
and intuitive. I should be able to do that from the fucking
app on my thing. I don't have to log in somewhere.
I don't remember my information.
Oh, that's a huge
problem for me, too.
I can't ever remember my login for any
of these entertainment apps.
I think I've probably got
two Hulus out there going, or a
couple Netflixes, because I just just got it and gave up.
I should check my bank account.
No, I don't do that.
I'm not silly.
Yeah.
I think we are.
I need to,
there's a couple of things that when I'm subscribed from an advertisement.
Oh yeah.
Oh,
all right.
Uh,
you want to do our, our do our Wendy's talk?
Because I understand that you finally went and tried out that sandwich.
I did try out that sandwich.
Yeah, last week we were talking about the Wendy's jalapeno fresco spicy chicken sandwich,
which I had tried, and I really liked it a lot.
It's really, really hot.
Did you try it?
So you had to get a sense of how hot this thing or well I love you surprised
yeah you know you were spot-on it's really good and it's really hot and if
you like hot and spicy stuff telling you you got to try this and it's actually
challenging jalapeno fresco spicy is made with Colby jack cheese fresh
jalapenos ghost pepper sauce and a toasted jalapeno bun.
Yep, and don't forget the ghost
pepper fries. Wendy's natural cut fries
with cheddar cheese sauce, fresh diced jalapenos,
ghost pepper sauce, so good,
so hot.
I could
not finish those fries. I ate the sandwich.
It was way too fucking spicy
to go into the fries.
Remember Wendy's jalapapeno Fresco Spicy Chicken Sandwich.
It isn't for everyone.
It's for you.
But it's only available for a limited time at participating Wendy's.
So check it out today.
You know, I thought the acting was pretty good.
But the delay, hilarious.
I will say this.
So good.
So hot.
I want to tell you the truth about the thing. It was actually good so hot I want to
I want to tell you the truth
about the thing
it was actually good
so I went
I had it last week
it was even in my vlog
I think
and uh
like it's totally true
I tried it
um
it
I enjoyed it
it was hotter than I expected it to be
I expected
I don't even know what they're laughing at
I expected
wasn't it so good
wasn't it so hot
I I didn't think that a company like Wendy's would take a chance with that heat level.
You know the stuff you take that's totally hot and you just put a drop on your tongue and suddenly your afternoon is ruined?
It's not that.
But I just have this notion that anything so mainstream wouldn't go hot, and they did.
No, that's the thing with, like, I guess I won't say the competing chain, but they have a spicy chicken sandwich.
And it's disappointing because, for me, I really like spicy shit.
And so everywhere that says something is spicy is never spicy enough because they always dumb it down to like the lowest common denominator of spice.
Where they're like, in the testing room, like two out of ten people are loving it.
They're like, this is a fucking great spicy burger.
And everybody else is like, oh, it's too hot.
Well, maybe it's not meant for you.
That's what this sandwich is.
If you really like hot shit, get this one.
Like, it's not going to mess around.
Yeah.
Sometimes there's a popular wings place, I think, that actually sells hot wings.
But if you were to get wings at a pizza place or something, then they're probably not actually hot.
This is an actually hot jalapeno chicken sandwich, and I actually did like it.
So that's my honest opinion.
Yeah, same here. I think I've had maybe three of them by now.
Oh.
I've had a couple times.
I like those things. I've just had one, but them by now. Oh. I've had a couple times. I like those things.
I've just had one, but I really did have it.
Step up your game, Woody.
Do what I can.
Anyway.
Oh, yeah, that's really neat.
Check out Wendy's. Maybe you've heard of them.
Wendy's Talk.
Yeah.
That's really neat.
So, Colin is a huge fan of Wendy's.
Chiz keeps pushing us to this. I don't think we should transition from one topic to that one.
No more rape talk! God damn it!
Why do we keep... How does it always circle back around to rape? No means no.
Like, like, like... No means no, Chiz. I'm curious as to what this...
I have some AMA questions here.
I have a...
Some guy just offered me a deuce and a half.
What does that mean?
Oh, well...
That thing runs on everything.
Here, this is...
That's funny.
Deuce and a half is a...
A big daddy military truck that runs on, like, I don't know.
I feel like Jackie would object to this.
Our neighbor, who is, I'm sure, a wonderful person,
and I shouldn't talk about people that I'm going to meet in real life,
but he has a boat, like, right near our property lines.
And I don't know.
Sometimes I'm like, you know what?
I'll just put the deuce in half right next to his boat cuz he's doing it I like those trucks I
think you're really fucking cool I've read a little bit about those engines
and been told a little bit about them and I just think it's cool that they
seemingly run on everything I've been told that they'll run on lighter fluid
or you know biodiesel or diesel or really anything you pour in there.
It'll just keep on going.
Hyaluronic fluid, kerosene, propane.
Yeah, like I wonder if they run on gas.
You could probably piss in there after a night of drinking.
Yeah, it'll run on gas.
Yeah, it'll do anything.
Yeah, I like those.
When they're bobbed, like when they've got like a bed on the back, they're really fucking cool.
I'm just not sure it does what I need to do, which is like I don't need a deuce and a half for projects around the house.
Right?
Like it's a personnel carrier in the back.
Imagine you hit a deer with that.
You would win.
Yeah, the deer would lose.
You could win with hitting a moose, I think.
Yeah, you don't need it, but you don't need eight lawnmowers.
You don't need enough firewood to survive six years
given all electricity ceases to exist.
You don't need lots of things.
If the ground crew for the Yankees ever calls in sick,
Woody and his family can come to the rescue.
Oh, yeah. He? Oh, yeah.
He should go.
Yeah.
The Movengers.
Yeah, that's what we call ourselves.
All right.
Any questions over here?
Yeah, let's do some.
Do you have any picked out?
All right, let's see.
Some of them are repetitive.
You know, what would you do with an unlimited budget?
What would you do with a million dollars?
What if it was Brewster's millions? That's kind of all the same thing, and I think we've all covered that before. You know, what would you do with an unlimited budget? What would you do with a million dollars?
What if it was Brewster's millions?
That's kind of all the same thing,
and I think we've all covered that before, you know?
Like, I don't know.
You fucking, you buy one of those $150 million yachts, and, like, professional chefs,
and you fly around the world, like, flying on hovercrafts
and fucking, like, beautiful women on every continent.
We spent, like, 50 minutes talking about this once,
about how we would buy sports teams that we hated
and transport them to Tijuana and do a bunch of
creative stuff. Lots of good stuff there.
I've got a
thing. So this one says, hey guys
it's been a while since your last fan meetup.
Are you guys planning on doing another one?
And if so, where will it be?
Transformed.
I feel like we should do a thing again.
Even if the fan meetup was real
informal like, hey guys you
know we're gonna go fuck about in uh tijuana anyone who's there meet me at this bar okay
tijuana might be a bad choice but whatever you know it could be in boise it could be in
let's just go do it detroit let's do a thing Let's go urban exploring in Detroit.
To those abandoned buildings and stuff. You don't have to...
We can go urban exploring in St. Louis.
It's just as exciting here.
Come meet up.
Do you have abandoned buildings?
Oh, yes.
It looks a lot like
downtown St. Louis.
You'll be driving and there's this place called Crown Candy.
And it's this super, super fucking old candy place where they make custom candies and milkshakes and malts.
And it's deep in the bad part of St. Louis.
But it's been there for so long that it didn't used to be bad.
And I went there as a kid for like a church group.
And I went there and all I remember was going in,
sitting on the old booths and like, they give you like,
they have like a 30 ounce moth.
And if you could drink it in 10 minutes and not die,
you like get it for free or something crazy like that.
And I just remembered how much fun it was like, this is great.
And so when I brought Melissa to St.
Louis for the first time, I was like, Oh,
I got to take you to crown candy. Like, cause she's huge.
She loves candies. I'm like, she's gonna love this and so we're driving i'm driving downtown i'm still in the
good area looking at my gps like to make sure i remember exactly how to get there and i'm like
all right like we're on the way we get about five minutes away and i'm like oh man i'm still five
minutes away huh starting to look starting to look a little sketchy okay it's about a minute away i'm
like this can't be right this can't be right pull over Pull over on the curb. Start looking it up. Very, very
closely. You learn this skill working on your
phone in the city like that. You're just
quickly trying to make sure. Is anybody
in the car? Anybody? And eventually
we pulled up, found this place, and I
shit you not, it is the only
building there.
It looks like there was
a bombing and that
God decided to save crown candy and
everything else is destroyed.
Like it looks almost like a paintball course in some sort of surrealistic
campaign mode.
Like it's horrible.
And so we go there,
eat our,
our candy and I couldn't even fucking enjoy it.
Like I had,
we had to like quick walk all the way back to my car,
get in and just,
just get the fuck out of there because it's so uncomfortable.
So yeah, we can go urban exploring in East St. Louis.
It's going to be real risky unless we have a black friend.
I have a black friend.
I'll bring him with me.
I was going to say, I've got black friends who might know yours.
My concealed carry permit Has reciprocity in Missouri
Who made your black friend?
Who were his parents?
What is this?
Smith and Wesson
This is that Rossi 357 Magnum
I like a lot.
No, none at all.
So, yeah, that's right.
She has Brazil.
So that's my vote there.
The Big Texan Steakhouse.
Big Texan.
They have a 72-ounce steak.
I don't know.
I've taken on that challenge before, and it's just a lot of constipation,
and it's probably not good for your cholesterol
yeah I would like to just have a really good steak
not a really big one
yeah
what if
the worst is if you bought a 70% steak
look at the picture of it
is it going to look like a big hunk of meat
the picture does look like it
here's a picture of it
I don't really think I need that much steak.
Need?
Need?
We don't need a lot of stuff.
There's a lot of diminishing returns.
Largest pizzas in Atlanta, Chess.
If you were like, hey, Wendy's has a thing.
They sell you 15 triple cheeseburgers.
I'd be like, no.
That seems like a lot of triple cheeseburgers.
This steak is not at all like the one that I ate in that challenge.
Mine was like a cinder block.
Very, very girthy and dense.
Just like, boom.
Like tall, big.
This one is like this wide, and it's the size of a grown man's torso,
just flattened out.
Like, that's not going to be good.
That looks gross.
That doesn't look like a good steak.
It's not even going to look as good as the picture.
When do you ever buy anything that looks like the picture in the food world?
You never do, and that doesn't look good anyway.
Alright, alright, fine. You guys
aren't as intrigued by the gigantic steak
premise as I am. I've always liked that
idea and thought it would be fun to go do it, but
you fucking assholes don't, so
let's do your idea of
wait, what was it? Are we gonna go to
a field and everybody's getting a lawnmower
sponsored by John Deere? What are we doing?
No, it's urban exploring.
No, we were going to go to a shut-down automotive plant
in Detroit and giant
auditoriums
and stuff like that and see
what urban
places look like. Come to East St. Louis,
Kyle, where all the buildings are.
Oh, so you would like a criminal trespassing charge.
Yes.
Take only pictures, leave only footprint concerned citizens in East st. Louis excuse me officer there seems to be someone nefarious about
Yeah, no, no, that's
There's a there's a couple of loiterers out here like no Like that's a place where if a gun goes off
They're not like oh my god get the phone
It's like close the door
Like fuck
That's not what you do
But I was saying that like
So many buildings already halfway collapsed
You could do like a Richard Ryan home destruction there
Just like super fast before anybody caught on
Just come in
Lots of explosives in this house
Hopefully no one is home
And then just, you know,
and they would come by and look for the evidence and they couldn't find it
because they couldn't differentiate your blown up building from the
several's of others.
They're like, dear God, it was complete and utter devastation, George.
You can't, can you believe those YouTubers did this?
Oh no, no, it's this house.
That's the one they blew up.
Oh, you're It's this house. That's the one they blew up. You're pointing at my house.
Well, look.
I gotta admit,
the silly, detached idea of
going and exploring abandoned buildings
sounds interesting because I'm thinking,
oh, it'll be just like a mystery novel.
Like the Boxcar Kids or something.
We'll run across an old hobo
who really used to be a billionaire.
And we'll solve a crime and he'll reward us all.
But I know that ain't what's coming.
That's not what's coming.
What's going to happen?
Oh my god, you have to repeat all your jokes because you just fucking boxcar kids.
Oh my god.
What?
You have to repeat all your jokes because I lost me at the boxcar kids just thinking about all of us
Romping around the most dangerous city in the country
I
Like
What's over there let's go investigate guys
Friendly on our adventure.
Hello, sir.
We're looking to if our lives are so easy that we do this for fun.
Doesn't that bother you?
You're going to point us in the safe direction?
Yeah, man.
Look, I'm not saying that I'm a fountain of good meetup ideas or anything but i don't want to explore abandoned buildings with you in st louis or detroit or any other country
listen if you said spelunking if you were like oh we're gonna go spelunking there's this cave in
wichita because that we'll watch a thunderbolts game right after it'll be i'd be up for it i say
this to my staff i say this to my staff.
I say this to my family.
It's a motto that more people should adopt.
You can't just be against something.
You have to be for something else.
I am for the 72-ounce steak.
Okay.
Fair counterpoint.
Fair counterpoint.
I hear what you're coming from.
Taylor.
Mega steak.
What is your idea?
I'd see a Blues game, but they've only got four left.
Oh, I hope not.
Oh, man, I'd be bummed out again.
But now that we're at least out of the first round,
I can't reach that deep depression that I usually hit, you know,
right around my birthday when the Blues get eliminated.
Every single
year. Taylor is
very invested in this thing.
He explained this to me the other night, and I
really got a sense for just how invested he was.
This is after their win.
I was texting back and forth with him while they were
playing and everything. As things would go
up and down, I'd be like,
they got it here. He's like, no, wait they'll they'll fuck it up but but they won
and everything but then he told me like we're playing games that night he's like every year
this happens just about and it's always around my birthday so every year at my birthday this happens
and then i have to listen to all the other fans and and it's just terrible it's just terrible
but this year maybe things will be okay and i was just like god damn
i hope so yeah i i know i'm it's pathetic i'm so into it that like oh my i was at i was at a party
a lot of my friends that i hadn't seen in so long we all got together and we had a party at a
buddy's house watching game six which we could have closed out the series there.
We were up three to two and we were winning three to one most of the game.
And I even said to my buddy then, I was like,
they're going to come back and we're going to lose.
And everybody's like, ah, fuck you, man, being a Debbie Downer.
And everybody continued to party.
Nobody's taking it quite as seriously as me.
And a couple of people are though.
And we end up, they come back, they tie it up three to three
and everybody's still sitting there. And'm like i fucking told you and then they take the lead and
we start losing four to three five to three six to three and by the end of it everybody else like
if something happens you know like in a game like people who aren't that invested can just walk away
and be like so it's a blowout and they walked away i was sitting there like almost by myself
to the end like oh jesus Jesus! What are you doing?
Just so mad.
And then afterward, after it ended, we lost.
Are you talking about this year?
That happened in game six this year, right?
Yeah, game six.
Yeah, we lost game five and six this year.
I was distraught.
Ruined my whole evening.
But hopefully it's going to be okay.
Anyway.
Yeah, I hope so for your emotional well-being
over there was a time i've never been quite that invested in in a sports thing you know so all
right there is a time when i cared about the flyers almost as much as taylor cares about the
blues i could name every player i could tell you every position that they play and what line they
were on and i could even tell you all the ph Phantom call-ups that got ice time that year.
That was my level of participation.
And I went to a bunch of games, and including Phantom games,
to scout for them because it's a service I provide.
But now I really only get invested in the UFC sites, UFC stuff.
And it's doubly true with Joe.
When Joe fights, it's my Super Bowl.
And it happens two or three times a year.
And, like, if he loses, the next day, like, everything's not okay.
You're just down.
Yeah.
It's not just – it's like something –
It's like a weird, dour feeling.
Yeah.
Like something horrible has happened.
Right.
And you can't pinpoint it.
I was going to say that.
Something horrific just went wrong last night.
And shucks.
And on top of that, Joe is a friend of mine that I care about.
So like – and, you know, I never want to say, like, a negative.
Like, in the UFC, I think a guy like Joe, who's kind of a UFC legend,
he's got the most, like, performance of the night bonuses in history
and this and that, could lose as many as three or four in a row.
Some people, they lose two fights and they get thrown out of the UFC.
I think Joe's more established than that.
He's more, you know, his fan favorite and stuff.
But, you know, like, I worry about the whole career.
Like, oh, if that happened, then who knows what happens here?
Who knows what happens there?
Leading into the fight, I worry, you know?
And I feel like worrying somehow expresses a lack of confidence, but that's not the case.
It's just how I'm wired.
It's more about me than Joe.
If he's fighting some world beater, I worry, no this guy's really tough if he's fighting a guy who's lesser known i worry oh no like a loss to this guy would yeah we would
reset you know the career in a different way and uh i don't know i worry about every aspect of it
and i'm so invested.
And, yeah, when he fights, my whole day is organized around watching that fight.
And that's where I am.
Isn't it crazy how easy it is to make fun of other people's silly thing that they're obsessed with?
Yours makes no sense at all, but mine is perfectly logical.
Yeah, that's something i'm like
what are you watching a bunch of guys roll around and fight each other why don't you watch a bunch
of men on razor blades on the ice with a rubber ball and shoot it at each other you bring up a
strong point i really was wrong you get the trophy and then the next year it all means nothing. Like, I don't know. It's what sports are, but it's just you can't stop.
Yeah, yeah.
And for Joe, there –
I'll go ahead.
I was going to say, with Joe, there is a level of, like, personal connection.
Like, we talk and stuff.
A lot of times I tap into him for inside info.
Like, you know, like, hey, what's the true story behind, like, this fellow or that fellow?
And oftentimes he knows.
But, yeah, Joe's fighting at ufc 200
uh that's oh good for him is he one of them is it called the main card uh no he's not on the
main card they just announced what is the main card it's the last five fights uh the main card
is the final five fights so um uh there's there's sort of three cards that night there's the prelims usually
there's a fox card and then the main card and it's a fox card it's the middle one and they get like
i don't i was gonna say they get progressively more prestigious but that's not necessarily
strictly true like usually like the last fight on like either the
like the last fight on the fox card is probably a bigger deal than the first fight on the main card
or the last fight on like the fight pass card might be a bigger deal than the first one on
the fox card or something because they want you to get all of them you don't right of course you
automatically get all of them i know they they want you to be in Fight Pass, which is like a monthly subscription.
They want you to buy the pay-per-view.
And then the Fox card is free.
But they want it to be good enough to attract eyeballs.
I think the Fox card that's free does a lot of promotion for the pay-per-view, which you can buy right on the spot.
So you might see the Fox card and be like, all right, I'm down for the next five and buy it right on the spot.
I usually buy my UFC cards like 20, 30 minutes before they start.
So you can do it really at the end.
Do you think they're ever going to move away from the pay-per-view thing?
Because that just doesn't seem like the way
any successful professional sport is going to go into the
future like it just it seems like that's kind of archaic at this point it doesn't fit me the
hardcore fan like i don't know like even at my level of i'm trying not to be a douche about this
so just forgive me as i'm a douche about this world um i have a decent income in savings and
i still don't like to buy every single pay-per-view
you know it's too expensive that's like 180 a month or something or 120 a month like it's too
much like that's ridiculous right um so for one sport yeah you would have to be really really
really really into it and and you don't like i don't know anyone in my
circles that is more into it than me so that's yeah that's a high level of into it to dedicate
that much money to it um i wish they had like a pay-per-view bundle that you could buy like you
know a monthly thing that would be good for me but i feel like it's turning prospective people off
because if you're let's say you're Kyle,
and just assuming Kyle is a huge baseball fan,
like he just loves baseball,
and he pays for the baseball and the NFL package,
and then he also gets into UFC on Fox,
and wants to get into it, and is like,
oh, fuck, I'm already paying for all these cable packages
to get ESPN and the NFL network and all this.
Am I really going
to pay like 60 bucks right now to watch this fight like no way like this I'm already spending too
much on sports like they need to get in on that level the NHL does a shit job because they're
with NBC but good lord the UFC's got to move out of there they're not going to grow fast enough
fight pass is 10 bucks a month and with that you get usually fights the same night as the pay-per-view
they're not the same fights but they're like the the rising fighters the newer guys and um so you get a couple fights and you get like a library of old
fights people think it's a good value i don't have it personally um that's a good idea i'd love it
if they had another tier of fight pass like oh yeah the fight pass classic is the same 10 bucks
a month or for 40 bucks a month we throw in the pay-per-views.
And then you get every pay-per-view.
Instead of picking and choosing at $60 and maybe buying a third of them,
you pay $40 and you get all of them.
I just feel like it would even be so much better if you could do it just online.
I feel like that's got to be the future of all these sports is eventually they've got to just be like, okay, so many people are just pirating and streaming
our content because they are refusing to deal with overpriced cable shit.
Like we got to find a way to facilitate this online so we can tap into that market.
Like there are people out there who will pay 10 bucks for this fight to stream it online,
but you know, so they don't have to watch it in shitty SD.
But I don't know.
That's what I'm thinking.
You can do it just online,
and that's typically how I do it.
But it is $60 to watch it online.
And I just feel like, man, $60 per show?
I'm buying one out of three shows.
Make it like a $40 subscription,
and you'll have me as reliable income.
Yeah.
I would never in my life buy a UFC fight because, I mean, if I were a huge fan, I'm sure I would,
but $60, that is a huge barrier to entry
for someone who's, say, 18, 19,
and they saw some clips on YouTube
and they want to get into it
and they start going to their gym
and then they find out it's $60.
I don't know how often they do it, twice a month maybe?
A fight? The answer to that is going to a sports bar, though, right? gym and then they find out it's 60 bucks I don't know how often they do it, twice a month maybe?
A fight?
The answer to that is going to a sports bar though, right?
I mean, you go to a place where the thing is playing. You don't have to drop
six. Yeah, you go to a sports bar
where the thing's going to play.
Or you host a party, yeah.
If you have friends, if you're one of those people
out there who has
people you know in real life that you want to spend your
fucking free time with. Oh, that's what i was gonna talk about remember like an hour ago i was like hey i got a vlog
thing that ties into it so i have an irl friend now uh my contractor and i we become friends i
feel like i can uh proclaim to my world that we've taken our relationship to the friend level and uh um anyway my backyard needs to be graded uh like when we put the pool there there's more impervious
surface and if you just concrete that i gave it an a it's beautiful well thank you so a lot of
water would great it would drain towards the house and like into the crawl space and stuff and that
would be an issue so we're gonna rent a bulldozer like i'll be out there in my tractor and he's gonna rent a bulldozer and it's like a grown-up's play date like i'm already looking
forward to it like i think my wife is gonna bake for us and we're gonna operate heavy machinery
and we're going to like reshape and two acres of land and it's going to be really fun. You know what I can picture?
I can picture it being like
you're upstairs
playing with your trains or whatever.
You're in your pajamas sitting cross-legged
and you hear a faint
car driving up and you hear
from the kitchen where Jackie is a yell
Matt, guess who's here?
And then you hear
running down the stairs and just right outside
just, come on, come on in, come on!
Like you're a child.
I gotta show you my tractor. Jackie, Jackie,
can I show him my tractor?
Show him your tractor. Come on!
Grabbing his friend, running out there.
It's gonna be great.
Now picture us in the backyard, right?
Both wearing motorcycle helmets
because they have intercoms built into them,
communicating on, like, dirt moving.
I can picture you guys, like, going to get, like, smiling,
giving each other a thumbs up,
looking over your shoulders
as you have a tattoo of, like, the John Deere logo
on your scapula.
That's funny.
Well, that's good for you.
Yeah, we're putting that in motion. I hope it happens next week,
but it's hard to be sure.
But we're going to
get bulldozers
and tractors, and we're going to regrade a couple
acres, and it's going to be
really cool. It's going to be great.
Sometimes I invite a lot of my IRL friends over
to do dishes and laundry.
This is fun, though. No, he's the same way. I was telling the guy at Home Depot today about my play date and he was totally dead. He was like, he was wishing he was my friend.
He's like, oh yeah, I used to drive rock trucks and he just loved heavy machinery.
I used to drive rock trucks, and he just loved heavy machinery.
I like big machines working and doing stuff.
And, yeah, it's cool.
Anyway.
You would have been the kid where, like, Huckleberry Finn or whoever is over there painting the fence.
Like, he wouldn't have to trick you to come paint it. You'd just be like, oh, shit, you got a fence to paint?
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll paint that shit.
Get out of here.
What are you doing?
Nothing.
Tell me what you're doing. I ain't doing nothing.
Oh, I love that. That little story where he just
pretends he doesn't want to let the other kid paint the fence.
Great. Anyway.
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So, if you want to get out of your house and have a night to remember, check them out.
You don't want that. Really? Just stay in your house get out of your house and have a night to remember, check them out. You don't want that.
Really?
Just stay in your house.
Out of the house.
I was interested in using this thing to maybe go to some comedy shows
because I've only done that a couple times,
but I've really liked it both times.
I wish I had – I don't know.
I guess the Hawks are doing great, huh?
The Hawks are in the playoffs.
I'm not a basketball fan at all, though.
What did Ted Cruz call the basketball huh? The Hawks are in the playoffs. I'm not a basketball fan at all, though.
What did Ted Cruz call the basketball stadium?
The rim shot.
Oh, ring shot.
He called it the basketball ring. The hoop ball rink or something.
I don't like that.
They're just endless.
Everyone is making fun of him for accidentally calling a hoop a ring.
And I'm sure he knows that it's a hoop and it was just a slip of the tongue.
ring and i'm sure he knows that it's a hoop and it was just a slip of the tongue uh all of us have spent the left time enough time on the mic that we like accidentally forgot an actor's name
or you know i don't know called something equally stupid as a basketball ring there are a lot of
people like are so on cruise's case because everybody seems to hate him from every angle
that he could say anything and people will hate it like he could have like been really
savvy and nice like the guy could have been joking with them he's like oh I'm
gonna put the fucking biscuit in the basket and they would have been like oh
this guy tried to act like he's plays basketball like that there's no winning
for that guy he looks like a thumb and everybody hates I. I call him Lion Ted. I don't even get why Lion is Ted's thing.
I like making fun of him.
I think it's funny.
Dude, I'm on board with nicknaming people.
Crooked Hillary I think is great.
I would have went with Crooked Clinton because, you know, CC.
But Crooked I think is nice.
I think that her response should be, I am not a crook, which is hilarious.
But I don't know if you're gonna rip on
ted like i don't know why he went with lion because it seems like that's not his biggest
flaw there's lots of good policy reasons to hate him because he picks up the bible and he wears
and then he puts it down and he lies yeah let's get specific what are the lies i didn't realize i didn't realize that he said this
in indiana which is like you should have fucking prepared some right it's that's their thing there
did you know they are all about basketball he redid the scene from hoosiers where he measured
the hoop and and said oh yeah the basketball ring is 10 feet off the ground
just like everywhere else.
That was the context
of it. It was
really silly. That's so fucking awkward.
That's so...
He is cringe-inducing at every turn
when anything has to be personal
or he has to come off like a real fucking person.
Meanwhile, Trump has Bobby
Knight campaigning with him and talking him up at every turn and it's it's people are coming out to see bobby
knight talk like he's gonna kill him in indiana he's gonna i think he's gonna win and it's gonna
take is it where you take all strict up or straight up or is it like by county and stuff
like new york was it's win or take most with congressional districts.
I think he's going to do real well there.
That basketball comment might be enough
for him to have lost Indiana right there.
I wonder.
If they love that shit as much as I do.
He was already behind.
He's been behind in Indiana for a while.
She's saying that he was ahead in Indiana.
He was ahead at first. I've just seen him behind. Weeks that he was ahead in Indiana. I've seen... He was ahead at first, yeah.
I've just seen him behind.
Weeks ago, he was.
So there's a Patreon level, link at the top above my head,
for asking questions,
and we try to incorporate him into the show.
And this guy asked,
will Chiz ever be a guest on the show again?
No.
If he says he will not be a guest on the show again? No. If he says yes,
he will not be a guest on the show again.
I decided a while back
that I just wouldn't have him.
He keeps asking, keeps offering
to do favors
of various sorts, and I won't
have it. There's going to be no more Chiz
on the show. I don't want him on the show.
I don't think anybody does, quite frankly.
He's better where he is right now, in the
shadows, clicking away at his keyboard.
That's where we want him, and that's where he stays.
You know, I'm totally on your side.
We have done our
best to extend an
olive branch to Jesus,
and we are rebuked.
Just like when Peter rebuked. Just like when
Peter rebuked Christ
three times before the sun
rose, as was prophesied.
So, look at
Chiz going, I'm out.
Thank you.
The truth is, we tried
to get Chiz to be a guest tonight. He had no
interest at all. The people that fussed towards Chiz to be a guest tonight. He had no interest at all.
The people that fussed towards Chiz, they broke their toy.
And now he won't play with them anymore.
It really did.
It went, like, it took so much for a while that I think he is now enough to, like, he makes a couple steps.
Taylor, can you leave and come back?
Just hit refresh because you're so robotic that
it's breaking up.
Yeah, it's not working out right.
Okay, I'll refresh.
Hit refresh at the same time
and then it'll just take a little breath of the show
and
there, they're both doing it.
It's just me and Chiz. It is me and my silent partner.
Hello?
You're here and you look good.
And Taylor's here.
Alright.
So, sorry to do that on the audio Nazi,
but I think it's going to make it better.
Yeah, improvement.
Taylor was getting all robot-y and broken up, hard to understand what's going on. Yeah, I better. Yes
cool
But yeah, that's the thing you guys uh they broke your toy. That is it
We were going to have some sort of gladiatorial combat match
What would your weapon loadout be like like and keep in mind?
You can't go like head-to-toe body armor. It's going to be one of those
scenarios where there's the trident and the net.
There's the sword and the
shield. There's the long, double
handed sword. There's
a gladius.
Automatic shotgun and a sit-and-spin.
No. No guns.
No guns.
It's gladiatorial combat.
You know, clubs, spears, battle axes, you know, anything you want, really.
A fully automatic slingshot that shoots those pinballs.
Someone who's good at the game.
Taylor.
I'm going to say, see, I want to say, I know there was a name for this style of gladiator
because I watched Spartacus and they
said it but the kind that has the trident and the net because it seems like if you did a good job
mastering that that you could really fuck like because it wasn't so much like you're gonna
scooby-doo them and they're gonna like you throw the net and they go oh because they can't get out
it's like you tangle up their sword in it and you yank it back and suddenly you got a net with a
sword in it and a spear or trident and he's fucked you know so i think that that one if you got a while to train would be good
if you don't get any training time that would be the worst because you'd fuck yourself yes now
something a little known fact about that type of gladiator that was looked down upon as being the
lame kind of gladiator the audience thought the guy who came out like that
was kind of a pussy.
They thought it was a cheap tactic.
They didn't like it.
He was looked down upon.
I think if I'm going in there,
I think my reach is...
Yeah.
I don't think I'm going to be able to master
the trident net fisherman warrior guy setup.
I don't think I could do that.
I think a two-handed sword is going to
make me prone to over-swinging
and following through and then just getting stabbed
in the side or the back.
I don't think I'm strong enough to continue a long
battle with a shield in one hand and a
sword in another. I'm going to be gassed
pretty quick.
I need to have something that I can't charge with.
Maybe I want a spear.
I worry about the range. I think to have something that I can't charge with. Maybe I want a spear. I have...
I worry about the range.
I think I want a spear.
But I think I have my strategy.
I think I want a shield
so that I can close the distance and defend myself
and some sort of battle hammer.
Something that if I hit his shield twice,
by the second time I'm connecting.
You know, like a battle hammer on the shield
knocks the shield out of the way.
And if you hit a person with a battle hammer, worse than a sword.
Worse than a sword.
If you hit me with a sword in my shoulder, now my shoulder's injured.
If you hit me with a battle hammer, like a mini sledge, you're fucked.
One hit.
Beautiful things happen.
Shield and battle hammer.
That might be good, but I feel like you have to put so much effort into that swing
that if that person is a little bit, you know, sly,
then they're going to jump out of there.
I disagree with you on the spear thing, though.
I'm not holding it.
The spear thing, what's going to happen,
you're saying you have a two-handed spear, and that's it.
No shield, no.
You just have a big spear.
Like in Game of Thrones the the sand snake yeah
okay like you feel like what happened there is that you would go for a stab they would i can
also like what if you swept with it and they got in your range and suddenly you hit them with like
what is essentially now just you know a hockey stick you just hit them there and they kind of
wrap it up and now they're inching towards you with a real weapon and you're
ahhh!
Just...
I feel like...
I'm okay with the net now.
I don't care if they dislike me.
You know, you think that
the range is going to be your friend
of the spear or something.
I don't have a lot of talent, so I'm going to have something that attacks at six feet
when he can only attack at two, and that's to my advantage.
But to exaggerate, to make my point,
if you were to say I want a lance to attack at 15 feet so easily,
we would just push the lance sideways,
and now you realize how fucked you are.
I think the spear has that to half that extent.
My shield and hammer i feel
like i'm going to get inside your spear and now you're in a really tough spot i don't never i
would i would always be running backwards and parrying and thrusting and and then i would stop
and you'd continue forward because you're carrying a giant hammer and a shield and your momentum's
too much and i'd run you through there's only one way to solve this. I was just about to say that, Chiz. I was going to say that if you were a guy that had the trident and the net,
you would absolutely, in your net hand,
also want to have a fistful of the gladiatorial sand
so that when you're all tied up, you could just kind of like,
poof, just boom, sand right in his face.
And that sounds like a joke.
I think that is a thing that they actually did.
If you went down and you could grab
a bunch of dirt and throw it in their face, I bet they did
that. Like, they didn't call, like, two
minutes for, you know,
dirty or sanding.
You could sand yourself.
So there's this competitive
league.
That's what
they did, like, back in the day. That was their
mace. Like, the people, the Roman cops to settle people down threw sand in the day. That was their mace. The Roman cops
settled people down through sand in their face.
Anyway, sorry. Thought that was going to go somewhere. It didn't.
I think there's some kind of a competitive league
where they have these competitions with blunt weapons
and they wear these
vests and stuff that register
G-forces and force
and you beat the other guy to death
functionally.
You've got to get that reading on his chest thing, and, you know, that's how you
separate winners from losers, but on a smaller scale,
that could be our PK meetup, maybe,
maybe we get some, like, uh, some gladiatorial
weapons, and have, like, uh, a, uh,
I don't know, gladiatorial games,
and, um, and, you know,
and we dress Chiz up like
Caesar, with the whole thing, and he
presides over them, and he's just like...
And I whack the kid with a foam sword.
I think that would be fun.
But I don't want pussy weapons.
They'd have to be like...
There would be some waivers to sign.
We're going to have to train for gladiatorial combat.
I would be down for that.
I like Chiz's idea
back then. Their anti-rape
thing was sand in a bag.
Just carry that around. Or maybe
instead of a rape whistle, you have a rape
fife. So if you hear weird
loud music
that sounds like there's a satyr in the
midst.
You're like, oh fuck, someone's in trouble!
You have to run around and find them.
Or the liar. You know, women in trouble
have to pull out their small harp.
Hope someone's really close
and good of hearing.
Anyway. I would like to do that, though.
I feel like gladiatorial games would be fun.
What is that called when you fight with foam stuff?
LARPing. It'd be a whole...
Oh, that's cause...
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Lightning bolt.
No, no, no, fuck you.
Lightning bolt.
Fuck you, absolutely.
What I'm describing...
I'm describing...
I don't know what lightning bolt means.
Oh, you don't?
Oh, it's a famous LARPing video.
It must have 10 million views.
Lightning bolt.
Yeah.
Lightning bolt.
Oh, yeah.
Can you find it for me?
Yeah. I know. I get the reference now.
I'm just...
I would want it to be nothing like that.
I would want it to just be about fighting with weapons.
I don't care about any of the other silliness.
No, that's what it would be.
It would only be the fighting
and then you would have Chiz as some sort of
mediator in a throne of sorts
kind of sitting over it in a toga.
I have a Caesar costume.
I have the toga with the
gold embroidered. I have the wig that
goes with it. I have the whole costume.
What could our gladiator outfits
be? Like those weird
leather diapers that they wear?
No,
absolutely not. What would sportswear?
I think I would put on
some running shorts with some fucking knee socks or something.
I feel like this is going to be some physical activity.
Can we watch this? It's a 24 second video.
Is it Lightning Bolt?
Yes. Just so people get the reference.
Yeah, this doesn't look fun.
Alright, are we ready?
Well, it looks a little fun.
Play.
Lightning Bolt! Lightning Bolt! Lightning Bolt! look fun all right are we ready well yeah fun play what's he throwing like
cashews yeah something with that all this looks like a bad senior art project.
Lightning Bolt!
It's so embarrassing.
The one clapping at the end really
sets...
She's been there all day,
and that was the highlight of the day.
That's what you should keep in mind here.
We didn't just see a random 30-second clip.
That was the best part of the whole fucking day.
When the lightning bolt guy came in there oh that's so lame so they make montages of larping
that moment right there is when the bodies hit the just
that's what happens there that's like the intense thing like in their montage it's just some fat guy
with a satchel throwing Beanie Babies at someone
talking about lightning.
Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!
My cholesterol's gone! I can't run for six minutes!
Lightning bolt!
It like freezes and rotates
180 degrees around like the
Matrix time as he's throwing those fucking
Hershey's Kisses at that guy screaming
lightning bolt in the woods.
Fucking assholes. That's pathetic.
He's not pretending well.
He's not going, like, if I was going to do that and I had to commit,
I'd be like, ah, lightning bolt, like, trying to do something.
And he's just, he has them in his hand like he's eating popcorn,
and he's going, lightning bolt, lightning bolt, lightning bolt, lightning.
What the fuck?
Like, get into it.
Get into it a little bit.
Like, they're into it in all the wrong ways. rid of the costume have a little bit of emotion a little bit of vigor you know anyway yeah that would be fun as long as we didn't have to play
wizards no we would not play wizards um i do think it would be fun to to do that though i don't know
if the the the the tools to make it happen even exist.
But I'm just imagining that scene from
the cable guy where Jim Carrey and Matthew Broderick
face off and it slowly becomes
apparent to Matthew Broderick that Jim Carrey's not
fucking around. That he's just
fucking crazy as fighting to the
death. Yeah.
Yeah, that would be.
I think that whoever did the
little net and pike or whatever the fuck thing, trident,
I think that would probably be the best thing.
Definitely.
I don't know.
I think my spirit is the way to go.
It's going to do well because in real life, you'd be pulling back
because you wouldn't want to risk missing and having them charge you.
But in a fake one, you don't give a fuck.
You're going to be throwing points out there like nobody's business.
I think that's probably the best for fake fighting.
Just swing it like a maniac.
Next topic?
Yeah.
Sure.
This is into the ground.
Cool.
Game of Thrones edition.
Who will be the first to die this season?
Sir Loras. That's a very good one
that chick beating on aria is in my mind it's gonna go sir loris marjorie and then
that new uh call that the calise met he's to end up dead somehow when that dragon comes around.
So I'm thinking of Jon Snow's storyline.
Somebody there is going to die.
One of his friends is going to die.
The Onion Knight might bite it.
The guy who has taken over at Castle Black,
Sir Alistair Thorne, I think,
that might not be his name.
He might go down because I feel like there's a revolt coming.
The Wildlings are coming to back up Jon Snow.
Red Woman's going to revive Jon Snow at the last minute
because if we wait until nighttime, he's going to become a White Walker anyway.
That's our ultimatum from the –
No, if she does, then she's giving her life for Jon Snow.
That's what I sense might be coming.
She might be giving her life force to him, something like that going on.
But yeah, I think somebody in that storyline is for sure dying.
Because we've got armed conflict over Jon Snow and the control of Castle Black
and the future of the wildlings.
All of that is at play there.
So someone's got to die.
Ormond Redbeard,
whatever his fucking name is.
He could die there.
I think somebody's dying.
Whatever the fuck.
I like Sir Loras because I think he's dead in the book and people don't agree,
but I'm not sure.
I honestly, I could be wrong on that. I don't recall. I don't think he's dead in the book and people don't agree but i'm not sure um i honestly i could be wrong on that i don't recall i don't think he is though or if he's supposed to be it's left for us to decide
yeah maybe he left but we don't have the information back yet i'm not 100 sure but in my
regardless in this new storyline he's done yeah yeah i think salores dies i think marjorie gets
pulled out and i think that tommen and cersei send some forces and you guys think i'm crazy we'll see no marjorie's done too totally cersei
hates her so much and now cersei's on the outside and even though cersei like like tommen doesn't
have enough power to rush in like they now control the outside so if by some miracle they release
marjorie they'll they'll trump up something where they're like, well, the High Sparrows chose not to do this or we were able to take it back here so that we could invoke the king's justice, not this vigilante nonsense.
And then the same shit will happen.
So you are a homosexual.
And I think they're either going to die in the keep or they get released.
There's a brief like Lord of the Rings or Game of Thrones style.
Like, it's going to be all right.
It's going to be okay.
And then no, it's not.
Why is Margaery in jail again?
Because she knew about her brother?
She's complicit in his actions of being gay.
She lied.
She lied.
Okay.
Yeah, she lied about him being gay, right?
That's the lie that got her in there.
Or lied about being ignorant.
Yeah.
Yeah. That's the lie that got her in there. Or lied about being ignorant. Yeah, yeah.
Well, lied about a specific event when she was present and saw the man whore with Sir Loras.
I was trying to think of like, what are you?
Yeah, the man whore, that guy.
Yeah.
So yeah, she lied to them, and that is a great crime.
So she's got to stay in that dark cell, which must suck.
It seems awful. and that enormous uh like
nun or whatever the fuck yeah looks fucking tough as nails she looks like she's six feet tall at
least and she's like wide and stout i want to at first i wanted to see her face off against
brianne but brianne would just mash her to bits because Brienne mashes grown men to bits. So now instead,
I just want the Mountain to do
something terrible to her. And I think
I'm going to call the shot right now.
The Mountain is going to do something
to that woman. He's going to smush
her head or rip her titties
off and make her eat them or something
bad. He might just cut her in half.
It's going to be ridiculous when he does it. I'm calling it.
That's a really good
guess. I think that if he does, I think
that we're going to at least get one super
cool shot of the mountain just
cutting someone clean in half.
Because at least in the books, you remember all
the paragraphs he spent talking about the size of
the mountain sword, where it's like the size
of a grown man and no other man
on earth could even
wield it with two hands. And this guy walks out just like one hand, spinning it like a writer does a pencil man and no other man on earth could wield it with two hands and this guy walks out
just like one hand spinning it like a writer
does a pencil and then just
like there's like people who watch him fight
like there's like blowback
from the size of that blade swing
it's ludicrous that guy he's like a
he's like a sea giant
he's like a human bush hog out there
just fucking cutting men down
yeah he would be the person you would be supposed
to be wider than as wide as a man's hand and like i mean you see what it looks like in the show i
think they tried to make it kind of accurate although you know the mountain that's in the
show is a tiny person compared to the one in the books um i'm digging it so far i don't know
like uh eddard sword ice and that's the comparison they made like in the beginning of the book it's
all like ice is so fucking huge like eddard wields it with force and then when they describe the
the mountain sword it's like the mountain sword makes ice look like a bitch like it just it's
not even comparable like you look at ice and you look at the other sword it's like oh my god like
like is that even a sword like that i't know. I'm excited for him.
So I guess, ah man, we both want Sir Loras and Kyle's
taking the Onion Knight? Am I right on that?
That's a very
solid pick. If I couldn't have Sir Loras, I think that's a good
one because he's so entrenched
in the whole, you know, I'm on your
side here and he's danced
with the devil for so long about taking one
side and then another and always following what he thinks is right instead of what's practical that it has to catch up with
him caught up with ned um if not sir loris then I'll say the next interesting person
to die is that
big woman the captive
the jailer nun person
oh
okay
she's gonna die
I hope so
yeah I like her for death
I don't like her one bit
yeah she's
there's nothing redeeming about her.
I'm glad Game of Thrones is back.
I missed it.
I really did.
I love this show.
I'm glad it's back.
I'm looking forward to the next episode.
When it comes on,
my girlfriend and I are ready.
We've got food ready.
We're prepared.
We're sitting there five, ten minutes before it actually comes on,
ready to push the button.
I need to establish more dominance in my house.
I love it.
I was relegated to the bedroom, right?
We have a big screen TV.
We have a literal Game of Thrones room in the house,
and I'm watching it in the bedroom.
Now, that's not the worst environment.
You know, it's pretty good.
You're in bed.
It's got the 52 inch, whatever.
But God, I really feel like I should have taken over the living room with the big screen
and the good audio.
You should.
It's your house.
Yeah, I think I would.
Yeah, since you paid for all that shit.
Yeah, I think next time I might be a little pushier.
Be like, you know what?
One night a week.
Yeah, I think so.
Jackie's like, where are the rest of us going to go?
You should tell Jackie.
Get that sound system cranked to the max.
Exactly.
Get the walls shaking.
The neighbors should know.
It should be an event.
Oh, they won't know at Woody's house.
Yeah.
Sounds totally dissipates after that kind of distance.
Yeah, I should rock the house.
I'll see if I can get it going this week or whether I get cucked again.
Where will your daughter be?
I don't care.
It doesn't matter.
She can go to her room!
It's Game of Thrones night!
Caps beat the Penguins for game one.
Yay! So you're on the right track Woody.
I guess I want the Penguins to lose.
The Caps knocked out the Flyers. I'm still saying Penguins at six.
You were wrong. I think.
Yes, no way. I might be. They will not win four out of the Flyers. I'm still saying Penguins in six. You were wrong. I think.
Yes.
I might be.
They will not win four out of the next five. But TJ Oshie had a hat trick tonight, and I doubt that's going to be replicable.
And they only won by one goal.
So who knows?
Who knows?
Caps didn't have to play the Flyers in the first round, which is why...
I'm sorry.
The Penguins didn't have to play the Flyers in the first round.
That's the only reason the Capitals look decent.
No, the Penguins look decent.
Shit, I'm fucking this all up.
What I'm trying to say is Capitals had a tough first round.
They would look dominant too had they not played the Flyers.
And hell, in one of the games, they should have won.
They outshot 44-11.
So if the Caps won in six,
I think you'd be looking at them as a dominant first round two.
The Caps did win in six.
Or five, then.
If that game went the other way, they would have won in five.
I don't know.
Every time we talk about hockey,
Kyle's face looks like he's preparing for a movie role
where he has to walk into a room and scream
and threaten to kill someone.
Like, really getting stern.
Like look at his eyes.
Cold, dead eyes.
He looks so aggravated.
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I've gotten three of them in the last few days,
and it's been so...
It's nice.
You don't think that you really like flowers
until you get them,
and then you're kind of like,
well, this brightens up the...
It's one of those things that you make fun of
until you try it, you know?
And then you see...
I made it sound like a drug or something bad,
but it's not.
It's flowers.
You see flowers, and it just brightens up or something bad, but it's not. It's flowers.
You see flowers, and it just brightens up your whole room.
And they gave us three things.
So I kept coming home and feeling like someone really cared about me,
but it was just the sponsor.
It really, really took care of me.
Yeah, being able to – yeah, I'm like, oh, man, maybe a friend.
Someone was thinking about me.
Oh, no, thanks for your patronage.
All right, all right.
So anyway, yeah, that's really nice. It looks like they snipped the flowers like 15 minutes before they brought them about me. And, oh, no, thanks for your patronage. All right, all right. So, anyway. Yeah, that's really nice.
It looks like they snipped the flowers, like, 15 minutes before they brought them to me.
Like, I have some from three days ago, two days ago over there.
And it looks, I mean, of course, they're flowers. But they still look really, really fresh.
Yeah.
Mine look great.
Yeah.
Yeah, mine look great, too.
A lot of baby's breath on mine.
Yeah. I don't think I got any baby's breath but i i could be wrong uh anyway yeah the flowers are awesome i i feel they've been sending they sent
me three like just like you guys but it feels like i'm getting them on the daily and it brightens the
room up which is pretty cool so i like you know what's interesting is like why what did you do
with the baby's breath it just smells like titty milk you know like that's
that's what they're really calling those flowers what is a baby's breath well what else are they
eating they just eat breast milk you know you're never gonna like get next to a baby and be like
jesus garlic this time of day like no they're not gonna do that because they're not making their own
food they get a tip whenever they need it and that's about it so i don't know i don't know what breast milk smells like maybe just maybe like regular
milk what do you would know uh shit i don't know that i dealt with it in large enough quantities
yeah but like a drop i can just imagine with the bread like yeah yeah that's good stuff all right i don't think it
works i feel like you need like a cup of it like you know like you'd like your coffee cup full of
it to really know what it smells like not not like a drop uh did you ever try it yeah just like a
drop or so though it's a it's you wouldn't let you go full bore? I just didn't. I don't know.
Like, I, I don't really know where to head with this.
I feel like if you're going to do that, like, you can't make it something where it's, like,
you're quiet the whole time, and it's, like, you're nursing.
It has to be almost like you're standing above her doing it, like, scientific.
Like, you're standing behind her.
She's sitting like this.
You lean your head over there.
You just grab the titty and lean it up.
You're like, all right, not too bad, not too bad, pretty good, alright,
let's keep SportsCenter on, let me try one more time.
But you can't just lay your head on her lap and be like, give me a go.
Because that's fucking weird.
What if that straight up nurses you, right?
Everyone's in the kitchen, around the breakfast table,
and you've got your coffee, and you just kind of go over and just,
and then you know, you go about your day.
Just do one of those. What if she's watching TV?
You put a pillow on her lap.
Rest your head comfortably on the
pillow so now it's elevated to boob level.
And for the next, I don't know,
40, 50 minutes while she watches TV.
50 minutes?
50 minutes?
You're being a little judgy. Drain her
down? What do you think? She's a cow?
How much milk do you think is in there?
She has to continue to treat you like a baby.
Like, what do you eat?
Teeth?
She gets one of those special things.
You're not even doing it from her tit.
She hooks up one of those transition pumps and you're just sucking on a tube.
You get thrushed.
No, that's pretty disgusting.
So they put that purple shit on your lips.
Maybe you guys aren't familiar with this, but
it happens to babies.
Yeah, they put purple crap on them. You go to work that way.
It'd be great.
It'd be great.
Huh.
This is horrible.
You were starting a company on this.
You were starting a company on this.
Look,
we discovered that we couldn't do U.S. sales.
There was some kind of FDA snafu.
And so we have moved.
But we had a large amount of the product already stocked up,
already boxed up and ready to go.
It turns out Taiwan, huge market for titty milk.
They love it there.
So it's doing well.
It's doing well.
It just turns out that in the U.S.,
technically keeping the women in a storehouse there. So, it's doing well. It's doing well. It just turns out that in the US, technically,
keeping the women in a storehouse
and intensively monitoring everything they eat
and drink and all their activities isn't
allowed because it's cruel.
And they think it's bad to keep
300 women.
You think that we're going to start an organization
where women are out there doing whatever they want
and then they come in every once in a while and
donate shitty milk?
Let that be for Tilk's competitor.
That's not who we are as an organization.
I'd like my customers to know that they're getting good,
pure, clean titty milk straight
from the source with unadulterated.
These are good girls
that we deal with here. Tracy,
Monica, Therese,
LaShonda.
Tiffany. Stacey. monica it's not respect therese lashonda yeah tiffany stacy richard trans but you know we don't discriminate um wait no no no no we he i mean that would be oh god so let's talk about that so
i i have a hard time with the trans bathroom laws.
I guess in the end, I really don't care.
But I think what gets pushed a lot by one side is,
hey, I don't want some hairy dude in a dress going into the bathroom legally
and spying on my daughter or something like that.
And I immediately have a reaction to that.
I'm like, yeah, I wouldn't want that either.
And I don't think anyone wants that.
So is that happening?
Does that happen?
I don't think it is happening in the end.
I think it's kind of like that elusive Al-Qaeda anthrax guys
that are just somewhere in the U.S. these days,
and that's why we need to spend billions on Homeland Security.
It's just kind of another scapegoat.
I don't think it's a real issue.
What the hell is LGBTQQIA?
That's made up, Chiz. Stop fucking with us.
Oh, wow.
Only the first, like, four of those are real.
It's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, queer again,
interesting, and alright.
Like, this is so dumb.
Questioning?
An ally lesbian.
You can't have two
concurrent cues
in...
That looks horrible. Space it out.
Regardless of whatever
she is writing there.
I think as long as what that that like weird
scenario i described isn't happening like who really cares and how much time are we really
spending in the bathroom anyway like that law also prevented cities from having like a city
or whatever their jurisdiction was minimum wage and it also prevented lgbtqia's from suing for gender discrimination so like they're calling
it the bathroom law they're kind of sweeping under the rug the other aspects of it um for me
like dude i hate the law you know like maybe a city should be able to set its own minimum wage
maybe although i'm not in love with that maybe um uh what was the
other part oh and you should definitely be able to sue for like gender discrimination like that
that seems like a thing but uh also like the repercussions have been business related and i
initially when i hear like hey businesses are hurting i think well fuck the fat cats right
like who cares but it's not just that.
Like, there are tons of people selling, like, glow-in-the-dark necklaces at rock concerts that now aren't going to happen, right?
There are people who sell popcorn at these things that aren't happening.
The NBA is not coming, so, like, hotels are going to have fewer people in that.
Those jobs are not just Paris Hilton, right?
She's not the only person who gets money from this.
It goes all the way down to the people cleaning the rooms and such. Those jobs are not just Paris Hilton, right? She's not the only person who gets money from this.
It goes all the way down to the people cleaning the rooms and such.
If anything, the fat cats are fine because it's just North Carolina. And if they own a giant national business, they're like, oh, well, sales in North Carolina are down.
But we'll bounce back when people forget.
But someone who just has a bakery in North Carolina and maybe they want to bake a bunch of gay cakes.
Actually, their business is probably doing really well if they're baking
a bunch of cakes. There's a lot of jobs.
Chiz mentioned PayPal in the chat.
I think Deutsche Bank is also not coming.
And those two combined for like
1,500 jobs or 2,000 jobs, something
like that. That's a lot of jobs. And the
thing is those are alpha jobs, right?
If you employ a new waitress,
then you add one job. If you employ a new waitress, then you add one job.
If you employ a new like investment banker, then that investment banker has like daycare and restaurants and yard care and all the beta jobs that go along with the alpha salaries.
When I worked at Cisco, that was a big deal.
They really, really liked Cisco employees because they're mostly like white collar six-digit jobs.
And those things fueled all kinds of other growth like in the supporting ecosystem that goes around them.
And,
uh,
and now that's not coming.
And so those 2000 jobs might've been like,
you know,
whatever,
4,000 jobs total,
you know,
for,
for all the people that exist around them.
And it's like,
just,
just reverse course.
Come on.
Like,
can you, can you not see this has been a huge mistake at this point can we just just flip this back and and say all
right we realize we messed up you know we're gonna undo this thing i don't know what's so i just feel
like they're jumping the gun it's like why why not just kind of let lit let it be and then if like
you start noticing like hey you know ever hey, ever since transgender started getting accepted,
we're noticing a lot of people getting molested in bathrooms.
And they're like, oh, fuck, how could that be?
But something tells me that's not going to happen.
And if they just hadn't said anything, it would have been fine.
It's so typical.
North Carolina Republicans are just,
like I said a week or two ago,
like a caricature of what you worry about republicans
being you know like all that shit about not passing science not like making measuring climate
change illegal on our coasts uh that's talked about the thing with the gay marriage now of
course that's backed off now but it was already illegal they had to make it a constitutional
amendment to have it on illegal uh why just like, double down on hating gay people for some reason?
It's so stupid.
And it frustrates me.
So when they pass this thing, like, oh, let's make it illegal for LBGTQQIAs to sue for gender discrimination.
It's like, really?
Like, you assholes are just pressing your advantage every
week and i don't know why you're passing bills to against problems that we're not even having
and uh it's just like it's so i'm not a huge trump guy but to me trump's biggest advantage
is like oh yeah he's a republican without all like the religious bullshit wrapping around it.
Like I think a lot of Christians don't see themselves as trying to impose the Christian version of Sharia law.
But that's what this is. Right. They're like they're trying to make it illegal to be gay, you know.
to be gay you know and uh it's just like just stop stop stop with your big government morality baked into it it's wrong and uh and trump seems to be a republican that doesn't want to do that
so yeah honestly the republicans would pull in i want to say they'd pull in they pull in a lot
of new people if they just dropped so much of that religious nonsense if they still want to say they pull in a lot of new people if they just drop so much of that religious nonsense. If they still want to be like, I'm a Christian, and I think that I'm against gay marriage, and I think it's a sin,
but I don't think it's my place to dictate to people what they can and can't.
If they want to still be like that, I'd be like, okay, fine, as long as you're not being crazy with it.
But they will not let that go because I think they're so afraid of all those old people just suddenly dropping them,
which won't happen because they're not going to suddenly go over and become democrats they're like no i
don't know it seems like the republicans are missing out by harping on this religious shit
yeah it's just a lot of them believe it i think oh definitely i think they're just basically
it it's the modern day racism you know going after gay people and they're just basically... It's the modern day racism.
You know?
Going after gay people.
And they're on the wrong side of history.
And people will look back on this. Well, that's not a new thing.
I'm not saying it's new.
I'm just saying that what is new,
what is going to change in the country's moral compass
is they're going to look and say,
you know what?
Like, hating on people for
being gay was wrong it was very much like hating on people for being black it's the frontier for
civil rights yeah it's it's where things are changing and people are getting more of them
um so yeah i mean i'm all for that i i'm never i'm always up for giving more people more rights
to do more things just as long as you don't take away my right to do anything just leave my shit alone and everything will be good yeah yeah i i don't
know why you know that they harp on big government but do you think that a person should be able to
marry an animal i think we talked about that before and i am for interspecies marriage i feel like you should be able to marry your horse or your your llama whatever don't care has no impact on me it's like i don't care
except for all the like benefits you get for being married like your standard deduction doubles in
your taxes your llama you don't you don't get a deduction for marrying animals right you just
have to admit i'm a fucking weirdo and i'm marrying an animal and you don't ask a deduction for marrying animals right you just have to admit i'm a fucking weirdo and
i'm marrying an animal and you don't ask for it oh you want us to let you not pay as many taxes
because you're fucking a horse at night you can eat shit because that's not happening yeah right
you know otherwise like i just quickly marry my stapler right like all right you know what that's
huge advantages to being married so me and this stapler we're married now give me all those
you marry that guy behind you?
Yeah.
So I really don't care.
Yeah, I'm going to marry him.
I don't care who I marry.
It's not a problem.
I'm married, and I'm not all wrapped up in your marriage to that guy behind you
somehow making mine less valid.
No, no, I don't think that way in the slightest.
But I do think that you shouldn't be able to get out of taxes for marrying that guy behind you.
Okay, okay.
Well, how about this?
How about this?
Could I get a civil union with a llama?
So the llama could visit me if I'm in the hospital.
That was the whole thing for a civil union.
It's just like a marriage.
But if you had...
I'd let you marry it i
just don't think that you should be able to get the benefits of marriage unless the thing you're
marrying has a social security number yeah well that almost says he's not gonna do anything unless
we're married so you gotta figure this out well you can marry him but if he doesn't have a soc
you're filing single
hey kyle want to get married?
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, okay.
Can we get some tax benefits?
TKA trip? Get married.
Oh, man.
I don't think that would play too well.
Get married.
Nah, that's alright.
I don't think I should. should probably like uh not do that
i feel like that would be a horrible idea do you feel like there's people in your life that
would be upset that you married merca instead of them is that what you're saying i think there's
a couple people in both of our lives who might be upset if we if we didn't mention it and we
came back married to each other oh my god oh we Oh, we'd be – they'd be so pissed.
They would be so angry.
They wouldn't believe it.
You'd have to show them the paperwork.
And then they'd just be like, what the fuck were you thinking?
You're married.
Yeah, you're talking to your girlfriend.
You have to get an annulment right away.
You have to get an annulment right away.
What do you mean Kentucky's not an annulment state?
What the fuck have you done?
It would be a real mess.
So do you guys ever talk about marriage
with a significant others?
Only to say I'm not interested.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's the page I'm on,
and she seems fine with it,
and that's pretty important to me
that she is okay with that,
because I don't plan on it.
Mine spoke up a little when I called her,
but just fucking put her in her place
and she's good with it now. She's just
happy that the beatings have stopped.
Yeah. I know there's
advantages but
until you're like a million percent sure
it's just so risky.
I'm not interested in entering into a marriage
of really any kind
with anyone. Probably ever. Same thing with kids. I just don't think that's something I'm not interested in entering into a marriage of really any kind with anyone, probably ever.
Same thing with kids.
I just don't think that's something I'm interested in.
I mean, I got a dog that hates me.
I don't need to make a little person that hates me or something.
I don't want that.
I don't want to enter into any relationship like that, like what marriage is sometimes,
where you double your responsibility, but you cut your power in half.
Where suddenly you got half as much authority, and you're still covering the field for all the errors, you know?
And it's like, I don't know.
That's an outsider looking in, but it looks scary, and I don't like it.
Yeah, I don't want any part of that either.
I always want that thing where I can be like,
fuck it.
Fuck it.
I'm out.
I'm done with all of this here and all of that there.
Fuck it.
I'm walking away.
And I feel like if you marry someone,
you can't do that anymore.
If you do, they got to come with you.
You got to be like, fuck it.
We're out of here.
And maybe I don't want it to be us. Maybe I wanna get the photo,
Canada, and become a logger, and just retire
like Wolverine did.
Yeah, and I think that is
a good way to look at it. To just...
I mean, who knows?
Maybe I'll want kids later in life. As of
now, I have no desire to, but I don't think it's
that uncommon for someone who's
25 to not want
kids, especially a guy. Fuck man. All I saw so many people that I went to high school with,
like having kids at like 20, 19, 20, 21, 22. It was like, I was like, we just have started like
real fucking life. And I'm seeing popping up on the internet, like dudes on his second kid. And
I'm just like, shit, your second kid. I'm worried about Taco Bell right now, motherfucker.
I'm hoping that the Monopoly game comes back at McDonald's.
I don't want any big, giant world shit to wrap my head around.
Let's keep life simple for a while longer.
This is fun.
I have no interest in being the person who's responsible for another human being,
much less a whole group of them.
I don't want to be your tribe leader. I went to school with someone who had two kids by the time
uh he was 20 two kids by the time he was 20 you're what the fuck like your life
all of it like you're not clear out of that until you're 38 now
and then you're on the line for college more than likely
like god that's like your prime years i think i think kids cost like quarter million dollars to
go from like zero to 18 and i doubt that even counts college maybe it does but quarter million
bucks could what if that whole time you're putting that money in an investment account or
just an account that and you could instead of having a kid at 20,
you could be like, you know what?
Vasectomy at 20.
There's two grand down.
The rest of that quarter million at 38, I'm buying a Ferrari.
I'm buying a Ferrari with my quarter million,
and I'll get a whole new wave of pussy.
Like, until I'm, at least I'm 50.
You know, a 10-year-old Ferrari is still a 10-year-old Ferrari.
Those cars do not get you pussy like you think. I just don't want it.
I, yeah, I don't know.
They absolutely do, but it's not the
car, it's the money that it represents.
It represents security.
Nice things. Fun.
Responsibility. I saw the video, Kyle,
where all the girls, like, instantly
jump in, and I'm, like, about
100% sure it was fake.
And I saw another guy with a Ferrari try to like get girls to go out with him and it 100% failed every time.
Like he just – he couldn't – and he was a –
Well, the guy looked like –
He was – I'm going to call him 6'3", blonde hair, good looking-ish, would be better looking if he was 10 pounds or 15 pounds lighter, but 6'3".
On a scale of 1 to 10, I'll 7 him.
I'll give him a plus 3 for a Ferrari.
I don't know.
I feel like, just like my Camaro has many times been like an icebreaker where girls will come up and just be like, oh, I like this.
I like your car. They'll drive by and like, oh, I like this. I like your car.
They'll drive by and like, yeah, I like your car.
They like ride by.
And all you got to do is flag them down and get them
and you've already started a conversation.
They're clearly already interested.
The car is going to get you posted,
but the car is going to break the ice
and get them kind of looking in your direction to begin with.
And then you can kind of go from there.
They're not going to fuck you because you got a car,
but they'll talk to you because you got a car.
And if they talk to me, I mean, you know, sometimes it
works out.
I have to ask, have you made a habit out of when you hear girls screaming in adjacent
cars, chasing them down, waving them down, and then approaching them quickly for a conversation?
Ooh, I'm halfway there.
Yeah.
I've done something like that before, you know, If they're clearly waving and like, yeah, sure.
That makes sense.
This guy must be so socially awkward
if he can't get any headway with a fucking Ferrari.
Because that is like, you could be a little hunchback dwarf
with no teeth, like little weird gnarled up hands and if you are
worth a ton of money this guy you'll have some success that it's guys who like ferraris not girls
yeah the women don't care about the car itself they care about the money that it represents
and some of them just a lot of women look i mean just to say that women care about anything is such a broad thing that it's insane anyway.
Like, what do men care about?
Like, which men, really?
So the women that I want to fuck, they like Ferraris.
They love them.
They think they're incredibly cool, and they want to go on a ride in one right fucking now.
And that's all that matters, right?
Yeah.
You know, it doesn't have to be, she doesn't have to be perfect. She just has to be willing to hop in the Ferrari for like yeah you know i it doesn't have to be she doesn't have to be perfect
she just has to be willing to hop in the ferrari for today you know i want to i feel like you get
mountains of pussy if you to the marriage thing i felt like i didn't get a chance to reply but
like listening to you guys talk about being single was almost convincing to me and i like being
married um it's like yeah you know i want the ability to pull the rip cord and jump out anytime i want i want the ability to like it what you guys keep making jokes and stuff i
don't get it no i'm just i'm just like oh we went too far what do you what he's gonna leave it all
he's done oh no no um but like on the other side like you didn't mention like i don't know having a team having a person a
permanent team like having real loyalty um they're like when you talk about yeah because
what sports franchise hasn't benefited from that that never changes what uh you know like you
probably have things in your life that are cool that like you're happy you own uh none of it like even comes close to
kids like there's like there's no project you've worked on or thing that you've created that even
approaches like the the parenting you know aspect i have a pokemon red version from 1996 with every single Pokemon on level 100
and the entire Pokedex completed.
You look through that game that took over 180 hours
and you tell me that I don't understand
what it's like to have a child.
Okay, that's funny.
You are so out of your depth, sir.
It's funny. Ludicrous. You are so out of your depth, sir. It's funny.
But, yeah, like, the whole, like, parenting, like, steering the ship, fatherhood thing that I've done just completely trumps, you know.
I can imagine maybe certain business owners, like, have steered a similar ship, a similar ship to what a parent would have.
But yeah, the whole like, I'm going to pull the ripcord and never commit to anything huge.
I see the appeal.
I get what you're coming from.
You know, like, hey, I always get to care for number one here.
Like, that's kind of what you've got cooking.
And if somehow number one's not happy, find a new number two.
But –
A lot of eggs in one basket, though.
That's what I'm thinking about with kids, too.
A lot of eggs in one or two or three or four baskets, whatever you want to do.
Expensive ingrained eggs.
Oh, yeah, and you don't even know if they're going to be grateful or not.
You could raise brats that are
ungrateful and don't care about all the things
you did for them and that you made that huge...
that you chose them.
They don't appreciate it.
What do you do then?
What if your kids turn out like me?
They don't like you. They don't come around.
You like your dad.
And maybe... Yeah, well, yeah. Maybe mom could't come around. You like your dad. And maybe...
Yeah, well, yeah.
You know, maybe mom could have done better.
I'm not sure.
But anyway, the whole parenting trip,
like this ride that you take is a pretty good one.
As a matter of fact,
the saddest event I have on my horizon
is Hope going to school.
Um,
heck we mentioned to Colin that she turned 17 soon and he's like,
17 is that college?
And we're like,
no,
no,
that's 17 is just still high school.
It's like,
okay.
Cause that's going to be a blow when hope leaves the house,
uh,
for everybody except hope probably. And yeah but anyway yeah it's a
real big deal it's real life and it it's it's pretty awesome too how does it feel to see a kid
like that like just because it just seems so crazy that to that now you're on that place where
parents are where you have to let a kid go. Like, are you already struggling thinking about like,
fuck,
like,
like what am I,
am I going to,
what am I going to do to not bother her?
Like give her a space.
Or are you like,
I'm going to call you every day.
Like I can't let go.
Like,
it seems like it'd be harder with a daughter than a son.
Um,
uh,
to me,
they'd both be the same,
I think.
But,
uh,
and it's not that I'm going to call her every day or anything.
I hope that she still stays engaged, you know, with think. And it's not that I'm going to call her every day or anything. I hope that she still stays
engaged with us.
I picture her
living at home in the summers and things like that.
But
what it really is
is right now, like, I don't know.
She'll come home at like 6pm
and I'll be like, well, damn it.
You know, I hardly had the day with her.
We pulled her out of school on Colin's birthday.
Because she had a doctor's appointment.
And the doctor didn't come to the office.
Like, the doctor had to cancel.
And we're like, hell with it.
We pulled her out anyway.
And we went to lunch.
I'm not going to call the principal.
You don't have to explain it.
And, you know, we went to lunch with Colin.
And she was around for his whole birthday.
It was a really nice day.
And, I don't know.
There's a part of me that was just like,
fuck the police, you know?
I don't have much hope left.
We're calling a Ferris Bueller day right now.
And that's what we did.
Do you let your kids do that much?
No.
I got away with murder on that front when I was in high school.
We had good grades, right? And middle school.
I did. I always had very good grades. Um, but I would just, I didn't even fake sick. I would just tell my mom, like, cause my
dad would already be at work. And if he were home and I was like, I don't feel like going in today,
man, my mom would always just say, okay. And my dad would be a little pissy, but yeah, I,
I think you should be able to do that if you get good grades, you a little incentive yeah hope you'll be able to skip school more and you gotta
know your kid right like if it's like mom i want to take off but you know i'm gonna sync up with
lewis over there and like get the notes and i you know i'm gonna cover my bases on this then i'd be
much more inclined to say yes than knowing uh you know you're gonna this is really going to hurt you in some way.
You think Hope is the kind of person who's going to do really well in school,
avoiding the party atmosphere and whatnot? Or do you think she's waiting in the wings for that college madness?
I think that, although we've only recently done what I've been trying to do
for some time now
which is like give her more and more freedom i mean it like jackie doesn't like her at the
mall by herself and i'm like jesus what could she cross the road yeah um i'm like let's get
this girl driving you know and and like being out on her own. Let's, let's get this girl like going places,
doing things, et cetera. I would hate for, um, you know, her to go to college and that be her
first taste of freedom. And, you know, thus far hope is a really like, you know, a kid that most
parents would wish they had. But, uh, I'm aware that if we want to keep that being true, then,
you know, you've got to let her spread her wings in high school.
Cause if she does it in college for the first time,
like those are the tales of the girls that,
that jump off the cliff.
So,
uh,
that's what we're doing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a good approach.
Well,
she really has got to get her license then if she's going to do anything out
there.
Like I can't imagine not getting your license as soon as you turn 16.
That is craziness.
Why would you do that?
I was the same way.
There certainly are.
She's not alone.
There's a lot of people that also feel like,
it's a sense of responsibility they don't want.
It's a budget thing they don't want.
I can do all the things I want to do online, etc.
She says Uber ruined our kids.
But not in my area.
I have heard Uber is a contributing factor.
They can go and do anything they want.
But my kids don't take Uber.
I don't know how big it is in Raleigh.
That's such horseshit.
I hate that kids don't want licenses so they can go out into the world and just explore.
Just drive around.
I still do.
I did it today.
I drove around for about an hour today.
I went for a drive. It was great.
It was great. I got a little lost.
It was wonderful.
I did that for a couple days right after I got my license.
Because once again, I just wanted to skip school.
And so I got allowed to skip school.
And I didn't even do anything really.
I just drove around the city.
Just enjoying being like, wow!
I can go over there if I want to. I'm going to fucking go go there i don't have anything to do there but i can go there and
i'm gonna do it and like just drive over there to do it like it was fun and it's the easiest test
even at the age of 16 when i got it like i was it shocked me that i took the test passed it and
then the lady was just like all right here you go here's your license that two-ton metal brick and drive around with all these other adults.
It was like, holy shit, this isn't safe.
It should be harder.
Are you talking about the driving test or the written?
Yeah, the driving test.
They need to make that a little more difficult.
She's passed the written.
She just needs to do the driving.
And I think she pretty much just signs up for the driving and gets to take it.
Like, anytime she wants to, she can pull the trigger on that.
And lately, her desire has been re-sparked, you know, that she wants to do this.
And there's a bunch of things she wants to do this summer.
I don't know.
In my mind, I'm like, let's do a little practice.
Get your license.
Get your license.
You don't have to drive yourself to school every day, right?
It's a highway that gets traffic-y and stuff. You don't have to start doing that on day one
of having your license, but let's get it.
And then certain things start ticking.
I think you can't drive in the dark at first
for, I don't know, six months.
I made that up.
Let's just get that process ticking.
Yeah, they're probationary drivers at first
in North Carolina
there's a bunch of things that get rolling
the day you get your licenses they open up your
privileges so let's just get it
so are kids 16 year old just
speeding going like 100 miles an hour
just frantically looking at the sun in the rear view
mirrors and slowly going down
fuck fuck not again
558
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nighttime or whatever it might be 8 p.m all year or it might be like it's like dawn till dusk it's
like dawn till dusk or something and then like that changes daily there's a chart let's be honest
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Nice.
My back hurts.
I twisted it today. I was in the truck
and I did that thing where you like twist
one way really hard
and like my back cracked and it's been hurting ever since.
It's all fucked up.
I need to go to the chiropractor.
I haven't been in eight months or something.
Huh.
I hate back pain.
I think it really sucks.
I don't get back pain much,
but when I do, I associate it with old age.
I think I've talked about this before on the show maybe.
I forget.
But there's a lot of injuries.
You twist your ankle, and I don't think that's an old man injury.
I think that's a soccer player's injury.
But you hurt your back, I think that's a fat guy's injury,
which clearly is not the case with you.
Yeah.
My dad apparently – he went and got his MRI the other day,
and they said he definitely does have a ruptured disc,
but it's been hurting him less.
He's lost a small amount of weight, I don't know, 15 or 20 pounds or something like that,
and he says it's hurting him less.
And so for the time being, they're not going to perform a surgery
because it's not hurting him at all,
and he doesn't need to be on any pain medication anymore and he's going to continue losing weight i
think um so maybe he doesn't have to do another one of those surgeries because those things suck
i had a um a ruptured disc he's uh he's had one before and uh like i went to the
neurosurgeon or whatever it is that is someone who looks at your spinal cord and brain and shit.
And she looks it over and she's like, yeah, yeah.
And I'm like, when does it hurt most?
And I'm like, it hurts most when I take slap shots.
That sudden jolt to my spine and such and through my shoulder, that seems to be creating the pain.
And she's like, well, could you maybe stop taking slap shots?
And I said, nope.
We need another option.
We need another course here
because uh what's that should be yeah right you know it was like if i can't take slap shots then
what's the fucking point you know yeah i need this back pain cured yeah while still taking
slap shots and uh she gave me a drug yeah doctors don't understand quality of life sometimes i feel
like that that would be like you know oh you have this terrible pain every time I have sex.
It really burns. Oh, hot.
Stop having sex. There's your answer
right there, sir.
That'll be $150 for the visit.
No, no, that doesn't work.
What's option B?
Because right now option A
is this.
What's the point anymore?
Don't look forward now.
Taylor, do you have a decent slap shot? I know you played
goalie.
At one point I did.
Well, you know how playing goalie
like if you shoot right-handed,
you hold the stick like this and so you're
forced to shoot left-handed.
It's fucking ridiculous.
Basically, if you shoot right-handed, you have your
or the way I did it,
most people have their dominant hand on the bottom.
A lot of people from other countries, I've learned, put their dominant hand on the top
so that they can direct their stick handling better, and apparently that helps.
But most people, as far as I know, use their dominant hand on the bottom.
I do.
Goalies have to use their dominant hand on the top when they're shooting
because they have to hold it with one hand.
My slap shot left-handed was never good,
but I have a pretty good wrist shot left-handed
and then good snap shot and wrist shot right-handed.
But slap shot I never quite got the hang of
because I didn't use player sticks enough to figure out what flex worked for me
and when specifically with a certain stick.
Because I had a playing out stick, I just never fucking used it.
So when I did use it, it's like, well,
it may as well be someone else's. I have no idea.
I chose... Yeah, it's fun though.
I chose weak flexes.
They'd be like, yeah, if you're this tall and you're this strong, you should really have like a 95
or 115 or something. I'm like, give me that
65. Give me that 75.
I want the weak shit.
Phil Kessel does that.
Does he? Yeah, Phil Kessel does that. Does he?
Yeah, Phil Kessel, if you look him up, he looks like a fat guy,
but he's an incredible goal scorer in the NHL,
and he uses a 65 flex stick, and it bends like ridiculous.
It's like something that bends easily.
I can't think of something, but it bends very easily.
Like a wet noodle.
Like a wet noodle, yeah.
But when you see his wrist shot,
he doesn't do what other guys do,
which is kind of get like a drag
and then you fire it.
He like just basically leaves
the blade of the stick
right behind the puck
and then almost just like
a quick lean in
where it's like he's super charging.
He's just like, boom.
It's ridiculous.
He can shoot it so goddamn fast.
That's actually why I like, so I'm less strong than him i'm sure technique is worse or something but um i felt like
with the the heavy one like on the slap shot i might get some flex but on the wrister like i
might as well be using a steel stick or something like like i'm really only getting the force of
moving it for people that don't know you hit the ice kind of, like, right behind the puck.
The stick bends, and then it, like, springs and whips forward.
I don't know if that happens in golf.
But in hockey, the stick kind of loads up, and then the blade of it just, like...
Yeah.
If you watch slow motion of any professional, you can see it.
Yeah.
And I like the whippier ones because my slap shot
was fine and then my wrister would get the benefit of flex whereas um you know if i had a real stiff
stick it didn't do that yeah so uh oh i've got a cool hockey video here it's from the game tonight really and i saw it on the hockey reddit so basically
what happened is watch uh the capitals player in red beagle he gets a stick you'll see the stick
go up through his helmet and at first you see it from the back and it legit looks like he gets
stabbed game of thrones style through the head with a stick it's crazy so I'm looking at the red guy here right now
I'm cute of it just about zero is it the guy these number starts with a two right
now and he's number 93 okay so watch this started over and then as soon as
you see 93 or 83 I'm sorry just start following that guy. Beagle.
And then watch what he does in the corner. Do you see that stick
get jammed up? You have to restart it to
see.
Yeah, it's through the
right before
it's still on it.
He's just playing with the stick in his hand.
And he can't get it out.
And he can't get it out.
God, that could have been's a special right there I've
never seen that happen before oh they do slow motion at the very end yeah yeah
good stuff I know I've never seen that I most some of the guys wore those but I I
guess a shield is good because it protects your eyes, but in the beer league I played,
it was all about the cage.
Some people had the,
like a plastic shield with like a plastic thing over their mouth.
I like the wire shield,
the wire cage.
Um,
I just felt real good.
Oh,
I totally agree with you.
Yeah.
If I was playing out,
I would never just wear a visor or none.
Like I would always wear a face mask.
You can't,
unless you're a professional hockey player,
you can't just risk losing five or six teeth for no reason.
Like if I lose a bunch of teeth in an accident, it's like, well, fuck.
I'm short like six now.
This is a big thing in my life.
Those guys, like they just go hand them to the trainer
and they get it taken care of at the end of the year.
You should definitely use protection.
When I first learned to play, I didn't wear a cage, right?
Because, like, I don't know.
I just did what the NHL guys do, which is, you know, like, open face.
I didn't even have a visor.
And then I went to a place that required a cage.
And afterwards, I realized – I went to a place that required a cage
and I went to a place that didn't.
When I took the cage off, suddenly I realized how much more I had to track.
Like, I had to look at everybody's sticks. I had to look at everybody's pucks. I had to be careful in a way that I didn't when i took the cage off suddenly i realized how much more i had to track like i had to look at everybody's sticks i had to look at everybody's pucks i had to be careful in a
way that i didn't otherwise have to i'm like i'm a better player when i wear the cage like why do i
play better but i'm safer like this is just the way to go and that's why i always wore cages
so yeah yeah it strikes me as like a i'm really good, look at me thing to do
if you're not a pro and you're skating around
like you're fucking Chris Pronger
or something.
It doesn't make sense.
You're an accountant. Settle down.
You don't want to go into work tomorrow with a broken nose
and nobody wants you to come in and tell your horror
story of how you got taken down
pretty rough by a guy in the beer league the night before.
But, did you watch? Are you watching that kyle i'm watching i i see that it's stuck through his uh
face guard or whatever i'm trying to see how it got there uh at the end it does a slow motion
oh i see that it looks like he gets stabbed in the head like uh yeah like that from the last game of thrones episode tristane tristane
should have picked him in the death i'm gonna read
oh kyle's straight over i'm looking at some of these topics
india working their asses off in the solar game and now solar power is cheaper than coal in india uh that's what the topic says
let me look at this more closely yeah i read something about that as well that's that's
remarkable al gore was right a lot of people don't have power in india right or toilets
yeah and so is it really that good or is it just that hey all that money we have we spent enough
of it on this solar shit so that all the rich people have power i don't know i i feel like
whenever we talk about like a country as large as india that we're speaking in like generalities all
the time like i'm sure it's that everywhere you go in india they're not shitting in the streets
you know but i just think that i think in most places in india're not shitting in the streets, you know? But I just think that in most places in India, they're shitting in the streets, though.
You know?
You could show, like, the worst parts of Detroit or maybe, like, East St. Louis, whatever the fuck you said.
And if you showed someone from, I don't know, the United Arab Emirates, that shit, they'd be like, oh, fuck, America's on a downward spiral.
But, you know, it's not really indicative of America.
I don't know.
That's true.
That could be our destination wedding, Kyle.
India, an Indian wedding.
Where do you want to go?
Absolutely not.
I won't be able to retell it nearly as funny as Robin Quivers did,
but they got some kind of three-week vacation once,
and she decided she was going to take a trip to India.
And long story short
She never got in she got into India
She her her next flight out of wherever the fuck got canceled so she had to get a hotel
She never left that circle of buildings the hotel and the airport she was back and forth between, getting fleeced at every turn by cab drivers and anyone who could take the Americans' money. And in the end, she was just like,
fuck it, and got the first flight back home and canceled the whole thing. It was so bad.
She said that the cab drivers would immediately pick her up and then go to the gas station
and say, I'm out of gas. Like, come on, you're a rich... She said they would literally be
like, but you're a rich American.
You're a rich American.
It means nothing to you.
Nothing.
It's rupees or whatever,
you know,
200 rupees is nothing.
And she's just like,
I guess.
And she's paying like thousands of rupees to get bullshit done.
She hated it.
I would never go to India.
There are a lot of, a lot of places that are as poor as that.
It's risky to go to if you're from a country that they perceive to be rich.
Because no matter what, just like we are generalizing India, they generalize Americans.
They think all of us are living in estates like Woody's with six lawnmowers.
And for all the grass they have in America.
The truth is, though, that any American who wants those and is is willing to work hard enough can achieve them that's the truth they should be that taking uh
taking to heart you think it's true and and it's equally true yeah i think it's true of course it's
true it definitely true name a person who couldn't if you're physically and
there's a delay it's hard to talk if you have if you have uh yeah yeah i'm just gonna keep going until until until we catch up and then it'll be okay,
because then I'll just do a long sentence.
I feel like if you have average or maybe a little above average intelligence, but most
importantly if you're willing to be a self-starter and work hard, really fucking hard to the
point of exhaustion and then go a little further and then just keep doing that and make
a habit out of it for long enough
that you'll just rise to the top.
I just strongly believe that, that we're
in a system that's conducive to that happening.
Now, I don't think it's always going to be a smooth
ride and I think there's going to be unfair
turns along the way, but that's the
whole point. That's the part where it gets really
bad, but you have to keep persevering.
It's the unfair turns along the way. It's easy to say, ah, look at this, this stumbling block. That guy
didn't have a stumbling block. I can't go any farther. There was a stumbling block. Clearly,
I have an excuse for quitting. It's easy to say that, but you've got to be the guy who
hurdles stumbling blocks. That's how you succeed. If there weren't hurdles, then everybody would
get there.
I agree. So I believe that if you keep doing that, if you have a work ethic,
you'll always rise to the top, whether you're black, white, a woman,
whether you're gay, no matter what.
I'm not saying it's not harder.
Yeah, we know what you're saying, and I agree with you for the most part.
For some people, it's just not possible,
but there's no way to get anywhere with that argument with anyone because there's always a middle ground
like i i lean more towards your side that like if you're willing to put in the time and really
bust your ass chances are like you can make a successful life for yourself but by no means is
busting your fucking ass and you know doing everything right guarantee that you're going
to be a millionaire you know maybe some guy that busted his ass and did really, really well.
By millionaire, Woody, I mean you make like a million dollars a year.
I think it does.
I'm saying for some people, maybe they top out,
and the best that they're able to do is like maybe they're making 90 grand a year.
Like they're working their ass off.
Yeah, okay, we all have potential.
Yeah, we have varied potentials, and that's kind of where I started at.
I started at someone who's maybe slightly above average intelligence.
Like it helps if you're bright.
If you're dim-witted, then
along the way, the sharks are going to take advantage
of you because there's lots of people out there
trying to either jump
the hurdles or make them for you. Sometimes it's easier
to trip somebody else than it is to learn
to jump your own hurdle.
If you're a little slow, you won't catch up on
that and it'll be game over
for you.
I don't know. I just believe that you're a little slow you won't catch up on that and it'll be game over for you so i think that
i don't know i just believe that that capitalism is is the best system for making that happen
so everyone in america has the opportunity right the opportunity is there for everyone
i'll admit that when it comes to hitting a home run some people are are you know at bat and other
people are starting at third base right you know because their their father was president right you're pretty much there already but everyone is at bat on this thing and like
kyle said people have varied potentials uh you know some i think most people have the opportunity
to do really really well you know anyone of average intelligence can do really really well
but um uh it often comes down to like work ethic and discipline etc and and the thing is a
lot of times people just say oh if you if you work hard then you'll do super well and that's not
exactly true like the um you know the guys that say there's no correlation well here's what i'm
getting at let me the guys that um put the concrete in my stable right they were working
until like 9 p.m. or something.
They brought lights out.
They were clearly working hard, but they weren't putting themselves on a path towards great wealth, right?
Like, are you doing what you can to be the boss of this crew and then to have your own company and then do those other things?
I feel like a lot of them were just like –
Maybe so.
Some of them might have been, right?
Maybe so.
Clearly one of them was. That so some of them might have been right maybe so maybe clearly one of them was you know that's where you start but um i think having talked to him and met with him and
stuff that most of them were happy just kind of working there and they they sort of felt like
that was their role and that's okay but you've got an opportunity to do anything yeah some people
like kyle was saying i really like the stumbling block thing um you know if you hit your first stumbling block and say, well, shit, it was harder for me. I didn't have it easy like
that fellow over there. Um, you know, my first stumbling block was, was self-created. I fucked
up in high school. Right. So, so because I fucked up in high school, I had to spend the next decade
in night school, you know, like getting my education. It would have been so much easier to go the four years day school route, et cetera.
Now we've talked a million times, you know, did that shape me or whatever.
But when you stumble, you have to sort of work hard and dig yourself out of the hole
that you created.
And everyone has an opportunity.
Some people start on third base second
some are just at bat but uh if you make the right moves the chance is there for everyone even like
and it it also depends what your goal is what it is you're working toward if your goal and what
you're working toward is just to become a millionaire then that is an attainable goal
that any hard-working smart guy can achieve.
If that is your goal.
Now, if your goal is something else,
if your goal is some sort of really happy family life,
sometimes it's not always true
that you can combine the two.
Maybe to be that millionaire,
you have to work so much
that there's not going to be time for a family.
I'm not saying that's always going to be true,
but you might have to make sacrifices if being a millionaire is your one and only goal.
It might not be the happiest version of you.
The happiest version of you might make $125,000 a year
and have lots of free time to spend with his bowling team on the weekends
and spending time with his son fucking bass fishing.
I don't know.
It really depends what makes you happy.
But if just that title and... A lot of those people coaching Little League teams have white-collar jobs, right?
You know, like their boss just understands that, yeah, you know,
for 12 weeks a year this guy has to leave early on Monday, Wednesday, Fridays,
and he's okay with that because he likes this guy.
And, you know, that might be the best version of you.
That's fine.
But I feel like, especially among young people today, there's a sense of defeatism that, you know, like,
ah, I wasn't born on third base.
This whole system is fucking rigged.
I'm out of here.
And it's like, no, no.
Like, that's that.
A lot of people say, like, well, someone has to be the ditch digger.
So, you know, well, fuck it.
And it's like, no, no, no, no.
Like, I love income inequality, right?
Income inequality is just like inequality in anything else, like in sports or reading ability or whatever, except that some people think for some reason it's supposed to be fair.
Make it so that when they're talking about income inequality,
they're talking about you because you can do that.
You can make the right moves.
Education helps a lot.
Work ethic helps a lot.
Busting through whatever barriers are put in your way is absolutely essential.
But you can be the guy so that when they're talking about those rich dicks,
they're talking about you.
And that opportunity is there for everybody, at least in America.
So I don't know.
Just be that guy.
I feel like some people just have a mind for it though.
I know guys that are just always turning a new idea or business into a thing.
And it's often so varied.
At first, they'll make some money in real estate,
and then all of a sudden, they're producing videos,
and they have a video production company.
Then all of a sudden, oh, renting equipment is a huge business,
and now we're putting money in equipment.
I know a company that makes thermal imaging,
and it's really high-dollar stuff, like $20,000 units thirty thousand dollar units and you know there's only so much markup in
that it's a very competitive game you know you're looking for government
contracts the civilian market isn't that big for twenty thirty thousand dollar
units and then all of a sudden they started making these trendy stickers and
the stickers took off and they started selling so many goddamn stickers that
they primarily sell stickers now.
That's what they do.
They're a sticker company because there's a huge amount of markup in stickers.
And they have quirky, funny sticker ideas that everybody wants.
You know, I feel like if you're a self-starter and you're always looking for the next thing and you're always trying to use what you have to find that next avenue, I just feel
like you can always be doing that.
It's super common in business for a business to start off thinking,
these are who my customers are.
This is what my product is.
And then they find someone else using them.
And if they're smart, they'll look at that other market,
see if it's viable, and latch on to it.
If I start thinking, this is a teleconferencing system
that saves business people from having to travel,
and then all of a sudden like moms are talking to their college
daughters who were away at school like you know look half my customers are this then start serving
that half and people are hooking up on it and you turn it into a dating website pivot right you know
the willingness to pivot is an important thing in business.
I know, Kyle's funny.
But yeah, anyway, everyone has an opportunity.
When they talk about inequality, make sure they're talking about you.
You can do it.
Get rich slow.
It's simple.
I made two videos on it.
All right.
Yeah.
There's no way to ever get anywhere with this conversation, though,
because the only thing that you'll get in response
is whoa that's so ridiculous
you're so out
there you've lost touch you know you think
everybody can be a millionaire that's ridiculous
like but
I remember so I talked a while
ago so here's your point
I feel like it's so easy to come up with a
I'm
I feel like I just made up a plan to become a millionaire off the top of my head.
I just wanted to throw it out there.
I was just like, go to trade school.
Learn to do heating and air.
You make a lot of money doing that, doing heating and air repair.
Start doing that and save up some money.
While you're making all this money from doing heating and air and working these long, tiring hours,
start building your credit to the point where you can start your own heating and air business
and then just keep doing that and keep getting more and more employees who you went to school
with hire people that are i feel like you'll become a millionaire if you do that and work
at that for 15 years like i feel like that's it's just done right no yeah well like for things
yeah i agree with you i'm just trying to like play dev devil's eye. But I want to be a writer, Kyle.
Not HVAC.
I want to study 14th century Celtic poetry.
I talked about the HVAC guy that was staying at Wings' house for a little while.
He moved out, by the way.
And he was in a lucrative job for a really long time.
He was 70 years old and he hadn't saved any money.
And I was saying it's really easy.
That guy should totally be a millionaire.
And Mirka was like, oh, that's,
I think we didn't talk about it,
but he went afterwards and started running numbers.
And he expected me to be wrong.
He expected like, yeah, you can put,
you can grow to 300 grand or something like that,
but not a million.
And he ran it and ran it and ran it
and found out that, yeah,
you don't actually have to set aside tremendous amounts of money
for that to grow into a million bucks over the 50 years he worked.
I think the disconnect there for people is that they're not thinking about
HVAC guy that they see at Home Depot who just looks like Joe Schmo
and is maybe 49 years old.
They see him and they hear
what he does. They don't think, wow, that guy is worth 1.3 million bucks or something, a millionaire.
They don't think that. In their head, when they hear the argument of anyone can be a millionaire,
they're picturing fat cats with suits on, leaning back, doing cocaine and smoking cigars on Wall Street.
And that's their picture of the millionaire, the evil millionaire.
They don't picture the people who provide good services
and have solid businesses and got there honestly and ethically
and they have success because communities enjoy what they provide.
I was on a Disney cruise talking to a multimillionaire
and he did water filters for people in West Virginia.
And he apparently is the West Virginia water filter leader.
And I was like, I didn't even think of that as a job.
I didn't even know it was a thing.
And then it tied into what my father's friend Dick was saying.
He's like, oh, yeah, business is easy.
You just provide a great product at either a better service or a lower price and in no time at all you'll have everyone else's customers
and uh it's like wait what like that's that's all business is like a great product with either
better service or a lower price there it is that if you do that you'll steal everyone's customers
could you believe that wing shaved that old man oh i i mean i don't put i mean
right isn't that like he seems open i told my cousin about this i told i told my cousin about
this because we were you know talking about it and uh and he was like no that's where i draw the line when i find myself shaving an old
man i'm out i was like dude he has this he's got this guy living with him like for a while i know
he's gone now but he was there for a while and he i don't remember did he use like a beard trimmer
or like a razor i don't think that he gave him like a shave where he had like that thing and was going like right before he gave him a shave.
You know, barbershop.
But maybe he got out like a Dollar Shave Club blade and, you know, gave him a nice good shave.
That's not possible.
Jim should be so lucky.
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Holy smokes, man.
This sounds like the future of sleeping.
The future of sleep.
As I'm reading
about the Star Trek mattress, I'm surprised
at every step.
Oh my.
They're going to scan me in.
My firmness preference, which side I sleep on,
pressure something or other and you order it
and they vacuum seal it and
ship it to your house and it opens and expands
and you
this is
pretty neat. You're a fool
if you don't take advantage of this.
If you buy mattresses from a store, you suck.
It's a terrible experience the price is double
and yeah it's it's awful then they pay for that i don't even know how you get it home
you pay for shipping on top of that it sucks don't do that check them out yeah sleep sleep well
with science i need to get a new bed i um i just got one for myself uh but i think i need one for the guest bedroom
because uh i'd like to have one in there because we threw that one out like just you know if you
want i could tell you my height my weight my dimensions and then you could order the right
one for me because i wouldn't want you to just have to guess for you ah i i was thinking about
getting like a wings of redemption that's what we should do we should
send them wings profile and we should get one made tailored to him fps boot camp version two
i want to see what that looks like i i told him whenever like we were doing the hot sauce pictures
that like hey you know you could come down to my place for a week and um i told him that i had some
things i needed to do,
and I almost got those done.
I got to go do that thing in a couple weeks.
But after that, I'm thinking maybe, yeah,
maybe get weeks down and have some fun with him.
I haven't really talked to him about it, but I know he'd love to.
I know he's all stressed out with his brother and that car and all that stuff.
I think that's all still going on.
So, yeah, I bet he'd like to get away from all that.
Has he made any vlogs recently to tell us what's up with his life?
No, he told me he's been really upset about the whole thing,
and that's why he's been slacking on YouTube.
He said that, you know, that same thing with his brother in the vehicle
and all that mess is really bugging him.
See, I don't accept that.
Like, that ties into our, like, like roadblock success that's what i told him
i i let me say i i want to let me see exactly what i told him because i all right yeah i just
feel like like yeah you know my brother's going through a hard time right now so i'm only working
one day this month like really you know he um yeah, I think I said that sucks about your brother, but you can't feed into that too much.
Doing some work would probably make you feel better.
Right.
But yeah, I mean, God, I don't mean to be picking on wings.
I just like it's more like, hey, for anybody listening, you can't jump at every excuse not to go to work like you don't just
like you don't decide whether you work today you just fucking work today
and uh um you know i feel like wings isn't programmed to do that which is asking why i'm
moving so much i my camera is like between me and my screen so sometimes i have to like
like look around to see where it is.
Okay.
Yeah.
I don't feel like we're piling on wings or anything.
We,
we want the best for wings,
right?
Like,
yeah.
Sometimes you see him making mistakes and we just want to give him the
right direction.
Oh yeah.
But I,
you know,
I was even going into a more general thing than just wings.
Like,
you know,
you gosh,
you know,
finding every reason not to handle your responsibilities like just fucking
handle them all the time you know yeah well it's harder for some people because some people don't
wake up in the morning and just greedily run over to their list of responsibilities hoping that
there's more than the day before like oh i oh, I wonder how much the grass has grown. Ah, fuck, tomorrow for you.
Like, I just feel like you wake up and run around
just trying to, I don't know,
it seems like a very fulfilling way to be.
Yeah, it's hard for me to do that sometimes,
but I always feel so much better
when something is just falling on my shoulders
and you just fucking do it.
You hate it, but you just get it done.
You feel so good after.
It's hard in the moment to get yourself to it.
I think Chiz and I just came up with a brilliant idea
for a new series of Wings of Redemption videos.
What if, because I know he's staying in that house by himself now,
what if he listed the place on Airbnb,
a service where people hop on the app and come stay with you.
He opens an Airbnb
and he films it.
And that's a caveat, honestly.
Be aware, we're filming for YouTube.
If you're okay with that,
that's part of the deal.
The channel would get them coming.
I'd come.
Yeah. And guys,
by the way, you should know this wings of
redemption couches are outstanding they are the best he explained to top of the
line big people like great couches I went that I was amazed at the quality of
his couch I don't know that I've ever had one that matched it it's or have you
got a mighty cap to stay up for Wings of Redemption. Yeah. When big people have couches, they tend to, you know, it softens over time, you know,
because it's being sat on by more weight.
And that's a real thing, guaranteed.
Like this spot on the couch right here, I always sit on this spot.
It's softer than everywhere else on this couch because I don't sit on this middle part
because there's nowhere to put your arms, you know?
Like it happens.
And if you weigh more, it's going to happen even faster. I don't know how he middle part because there's nowhere to put your arms. It happens. If you weigh more, it's going to happen faster.
I don't know how he turned those
couches into magical stuff.
I bet wings are redemptions.
He pulverized them.
I feel they were soft
and supple.
He needed them.
He softened them with a tennis racket
before he even sat down.
Have you ever seen that machine?
Have you ever seen that machine on construction sites
that looks like the steamroller,
but instead of a smooth barrel,
it's got those nubs sticking out and just rolling over?
That's what being wings of redemption's couch is like.
You're just getting crushed and kneaded all the time,
pulverized and manipulated into all kinds of awful situations.
And the result of that is a soft Corinthian leather like nothing you have ever felt before.
Dude, why don't you really do this Airbnb thing? I swear it's easy money.
He'll just have money coming in from the housing thing. You know, whatever. I don't know bucks a night what do you pay for Airbnb he'll wake up in the morning
I think it's more cut him some making a breakfast right some a good charger I
get it do people would be staying 250 people would stay they really would in
his channel would pump people would come just to get in the videos come on that's an episode it would be great welcome back to wings b&b
today meet cheryl um other than wings b&b um b&b i don't know
huh B&B at the Nation.
Shucks.
I'll think of a pun.
Eventually.
That's what I'm working on.
I'm looking for an alliteration.
I don't know. I'm coming up short.
Yeah, well, they've already got that handle with bed and breakfast.
Geordie Jordan's... That's alliteration too maybe don't even change it jordy jordan's
bed and breakfast jj bb's yeah jj's bed and breakfast i want it i don't want it to be over
the top silly i want it to sound like this is a place where you expect it to be like rustic and
you're like oh my god god, the wildlife here?
We never see this at home, hun.
I'm so glad we decided to take a cheaper honeymoon.
I hated Hawaii.
I'm so glad we're here near Myrtle Beach.
Myrtle Beach, you know?
That would be great.
Oh, it would be so great.
I'm drawing a blank here.
The challenge is he can't take days off.
This is the 18th good idea we've given him.
It'll probably come to naught
as always, but just saying
I think it'll be great if he did this.
He'll probably have a million excuses. Mama's got the deed
or granny doesn't like
blacks or whatever it comes down to.
In the end, he should
have people come stay at his
house Airbnb style he loves doing that
shit anyway and you know take care
of him breakfast and you know get him
a meal and everything and interview him have the cameras
rolling and you could
it would do so well and you'd probably make enough money
you could pay
what's his name Christopher Robin to fucking edit
that shit together for you
Christopher Robin?
what's his name? Christopher Robin to fucking edit that shit together for you. Christopher Robin. What's his fucking name?
Come on.
Pat used to.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Christopher Robin.
The poo guy.
What is.
I forget.
How is he like that?
Yeah.
He used to edit it and help wings out and stuff.
I think he found it unfulfilling,
but,
um,
um, surprising. surprising um but yeah he did a really good
job with it and i dude i just i um yeah i'd love to see wings do that i you know i don't know what
he charged 125 a night does that sound right ish i think he could charge more than that if they know
they're gonna if it's like a show for them, an experience maybe.
He could also do like Geordie Jordan's bed and breakfast after hours with a couple of hidden cameras out in his living room.
He could try and like facilitate intimate behavior between couples, things like that.
Yeah.
And Giggs' granny could be like selling hard drugs over there.
She's got ecstasy.
Crushing up Vicodins over there.
Doing rails.
This could be great. Gangster Grandma would love this. She'd have a whole new clientele
to work with. Can you imagine Wings as a
concierge, right? Like, you know,
just telling him where to go about town and
maybe he'd even dress nice.
It'd be a great video.
Well, the Applebee's just down the road is very nice.
Their nacho fondue.
It's top tier, sir.
Top tier.
It would be great.
The Applebee's.
Oh, man.
That's where we went.
That's where we went.
That's where you went.
What'd you get?
We went to Outback.
Well, that was a different trip.
That was a different trip.
The first trip,
or maybe it was the same trip, but different meals.
Because the Outback meal,
I guess his girlfriend was with us for both meals.
The first meal was the Outback meal.
That was night one.
That was night number one.
There was a bunch of black people at a table being real rowdy
and taking up the table for a long time,
and it was the only table that could accommodate our party,
both because of the number of individuals and some of the individuals' girth.
So we had to wait for a very long time to get our food,
and we were just starving.
But that night was interesting.
But yeah, the Outback Steakhouse night was even more fun.
I miss hanging out with Wings.
We should do another, at least like a Wings meetup.
I feel like that live PKA idea kind of got lost on us.
Dude, yeah.
Remember I was saying we should do a thing?
And I'm just like, just make it a thing.
Do a thing that happens, that actually happens.
I'd meet you at Wings'.
I think they'd like it in my vlogs too
I'm definitely down
I've got that
kind of crazy schedule thing coming up
for like the next two weeks
where I'm like flying back and forth to LA
like six total times I think
so like kind of hard
to plan around that
it's not hard to plan around it I've got the exact dates and everything, but I'm not sure if I'm going to be up for
a wing shift in the middle of...
Yeah.
But I'm definitely down
to do it. I think we should get Taylor out there, too.
I think it's great. We could do a lot.
I think it'd be really fun. It's so easy to do,
too. I think we should film it. We should film
it with a camera. Yeah, yeah.
I'm down. I've still never seen that
personality for real. Yeah, yeah. I'm down. I've still never seen that personality for real.
In the flesh.
You know?
It's an experience. It's all real.
That's the first thing you get
when you meet him. You're like, shit.
It's all real. This is who he is.
It's not an act.
You get Wings of Redemption in video.
He's that guy in real life.
100%
It's him. It's overwhelming. It's a lot to take in. You get Wings of Redemption in video, and he's that guy in real life, 100% fucking percent.
It's him, and it's overwhelming.
It's a lot to take in.
It's good time with Wings.
I always enjoy it. I feel like there's always story.
When I spend time with Wings, it's a story.
I'm focusing to remember details so that I can recount this letter because it's always interesting in one little way or another.
Something about the trip, something that happens.
Someone says something. does something something is revealed that you didn't know before and you're just like oh i came it happens every time so yeah anything
involving wings redemption i'm always down oh the uh drinking episode thing i have i found this
woody i think you should give it a go i don't even know
if you can read that no what did it say it's hard ginger ale i got it to try hard ginger ale and
it's i don't know i don't know how alcoholic it is five point something so like about a budweiser
but it tastes really really similar to ginger ale and it's really sweet, and I could see this as something you would like.
That is like regular
beer alcohol level, and not
totally gross that would make you
get too in and hate it.
Maybe. There's a huge world
there's a whole brand.
Maker's Mark.
You're drinking Maker's Mark?
No, you are, because I choose your drink, and I think you're trying to weasel out of that,
but you're not.
There's no way to gauge
as a metric what amount of Maker's Mark
equals one of these. It's going to be about that much.
Shotglass.
Kind of, right?
Yeah, right about there. Maybe a little less
if this isn't very alcoholic. I don't know.
But for the drinking episode,
we all need to be drinking the same thing.
I don't know where that really came from.
Here's what I thought.
I don't even mind drinking Maker's Mark.
It's not bad.
It's just I don't want to get...
Well, then I'll choose something else.
We'll get you some White Rush.
All right, then.
Clearly, Woody wants to do two separate drinking episodes,
one in which he chooses your beverage
and another in which we all drink the same beverage, which is fair.
So for the first drinking episode in which I have we all drink the same beverage, which is fair. So, for the first drinking episode
in which I
have a suggestion for the group beverage.
What if we all made a mixed drink
that can be controlled and regulated
and will also taste delicious? What if we made
like Jell-O shots or something like that?
No, that's like a whole afternoon.
I don't want to make Jell-O shots.
I don't see why it's a big deal.
Your girlfriend would be so happy to make you jello shots.
I bet she knows the recipe.
She has the ingredients.
But there's no way.
That's why we need a bottled drink that says 5.1 or whatever percent alcohol.
And you totally have.
Why do we need to drink the same thing?
Well, I mean, you can gauge it that way too
like what is because for example taylor's way better at drinking the idea like i almost feel
like taylor's making it competitive when it's supposed to be fun to watch no no it's not i
don't want it to be competitive but i want it to be a thing where it's like we set a rule for
ourself where it's like at the end of every hour you have to have that drink done and it's way more
fun if instead of like me holding up and being like fuck oh i got a little bit of this mixed drink left and you going
oh i got a little bit of beer but at the end of the hour all of us holding it up and maybe at hour
three woody's like fuck i didn't i forgot to drink it and he holds up a full one and then he has to
chug it like that would be funny because we're all doing the same thing together you know we're all
experiencing the same thing i agree i i feel like it's a better metric
because if we're playing a quasi drinking game at times then it just doesn't work if you've got a
mixed drink and i've got a budweiser and and chiz is doing his shots over there like a maniac or
whatever um i know i feel like we just need to agree on something remember that yeah or or wings
over there with this crystal light. I feel like if we
set up metric, we set
a thing that it's going to be. It's like,
oh yeah, this is a bottle of
whatever the fuck. It could be good.
I feel like a mixed drink could work.
You just have to treat it like it's chemistry
a little bit. We're not Walter White,
but add a specific amount
of vodka to a specific amount of
whatever the hell else and then get 12 ounces of that and go.
Yeah, I just, I don't know, I feel like a six pack of something about this alcoholic,
like regular beer, is a good goal for us to try and get through as much of that as possible in the show.
Like, we have to finish one before we start, and then one by the end of every subsequent hour.
So then over the course of every subsequent hour so then over
the course of like four hours we've had like five beers so we won't even be drunk but it's still a
drinking episode oh so at five beers your hypothesis is that i won't be drunk over four hours no i'm
saying five over four hours yeah over four hours like your body's metabolizing that constantly
like it yeah one an hour i feel last time i drank was it was either a
pka episode or that trip in vermont like it's been a while i speak well yeah your tolerance is really
well you're very sensitive to it like and so for you it'd be way faster like you'd probably get
through like half of this and be like am i acting weird my face is hot am I drunk like I feel like
talking about stupid stuff yeah yeah that would be fun I just feel bad that I
want to be Taylor and I'm not really getting any payoff I feel like maybe we
should change what I get right we know I'm totally willing to do the second
drinking episode and I'll drink maker's Mark or whatever. Like, I don't mind.
But we, knowing our rate on drinking episodes,
it's going to be a hot second before we get around to the next one.
Back to back.
I'm going to send him.
Back to back.
Back to back drinking episodes.
I don't want to do back to back.
I'm going to send him a Black Hawk shirt and he has to wear it one show.
Maybe that'll fix it.
I don't know.
That's actually a good one.
I would really hate that.
And you're not here
and so you couldn't make me do it.
I'm not doing that.
I'm not wearing a Blackhawks jersey.
It's like burning.
Yeah, it's just...
It's holding up your life on fire.
Make a pyre for it.
What is Chiz saying here? He that we drink manhattans which is a great suggestion from someone living in 1928 during the prohibition or wearing a hat
like he does like that's not an old style of drink i don't think i've ever had a manhattan
i don't think i have either i don't know what. The tasty. What do you order at a bar?
It's what I offered you that night that you took a tiny sip of,
and then I ended up drinking and getting way too drunk.
That was a Maker's Mark Manhattan.
Oh, I didn't know.
They're a similar thing.
I like, yeah.
Yeah, that was a mixed drink that we had.
That wasn't even straight.
That shit was strong
like it was one of those yeah well you smell it and you're like this is a job in front of you to
drink this thing yeah i paid for those drinks i'm sure that he knew that i wanted a big drink
i order beer instead of mixed drinks and liquor at bars. Like I'd say 99.8% of the time,
because it's just like,
what's the,
I feel like if you're the only person drinking liquor and everybody else has
like a Bud Light or something,
you're all sitting around watching the game.
It's like,
who are you?
Like Don Draper over here sitting,
watching a game in a hoodie with your fucking like mixed drink and everybody
else is is drinking their
beers casually and you're sitting there with
a bunch of liquor, sipping it, and you're
finishing yours first and it's like, what the fuck are you doing
having a Manhattan with a bunch of $8
appetizer wings? You pretentious fuck.
You think that lady back there knew the first thing about a Manhattan
before she pulled up that nasty old wrinkled
plastic covered menu and
horribly made one for you?
No. I have two kinds of drinks all
over if i'm in a position where like i feel like i'll be judging i give a fuck then i get a bud
right they always have it and everyone seems to accept that it is a stand a reasonable thing to
order like you can't go wrong um yeah if i'm like among friends or something, I'll get whatever comes with an umbrella.
Give me something sweet is what you like.
Gingerbread martini.
Strawberry daiquiri.
Stuff like that.
Gingerbread martini.
Yeah, that was good.
Well, when you go to the store, Woody,
it's called Coney Island Brewing Company,
and they have one that's even better than this, Root Beer,
and it's
it's it's so much it's just it tastes just like root beer and usually people pull your leg with
that and every time when the person who had it like was sipping it and at a friend's house is
like that's really neat he's like yeah it tastes just like root beer and I'm like fuck you no it
doesn't because it never tastes just like root beer it's like oh this tastes like shit root beer
but you take a sip and you can tell it's like the because it never tastes just like root beer. It's like, oh, this tastes like shit root beer. But you take a sip, and you can tell
it's like the most
minute amount of alcohol, but
the aftertaste, everything, it's all just root beer.
The local gas station by my house
sells moonshine.
And I'm wondering if it's...
Yeah, we've got some of that.
Well, they sell
alcohol, and they sell a mixed
alcoholic beverage in a mason jar is what they sell.
I haven't had it.
You think that it's not like moonshine?
Well, it's like what is moonshine, really?
I think it's corn whiskey that's made by somebody in the woods, right?
But that's not what's going on at the gas station.
They're just bottling it up in mason jars from a regular distillery.
And it's like 35%
alcohol by volume or something, so it's
super toned down. And I often
think of moonshine as
either really, really super powerful
or the really
tasty kind. In my
experience, usually less alcoholic.
It's not really moonshine.
It's kind of just like it's kind of a
marketing thing need it to be made in some like old car radio radiator like turned into a still
like yeah if it's professionally made and it's alcohol but it somehow tastes like an apple pie
like that one time i've talked about then that'd be amazing i don't know yeah it's i know it's not it doesn't i got the cherry
sorry it was awful very very alcohol alcoholic tasting it was terrible yeah root beer you should
get that you'll like that and i could see you like liking it enough that you like sit down at
game of thrones time maybe open one. This is so far up your alley
as far as an alcoholic drink.
I believe you, but I almost don't want it.
I thought about you when I tried it.
It's just another drug trying to work its way
into my life. I bet I'd love pot.
I bet heroin and meth
are all wonderful things.
And alcohol, of course, not as
extreme, but...
It's just relaxing.
You don't have to buy 30 of them and get trashed.
If you have four of these over the course of a few hours,
you won't be getting drunk or anything.
Maybe you just enjoy it.
You don't have to do it every day.
But maybe you just don't like it.
It wouldn't...
Are you afraid that you would like it too much?
I don't like it. It wouldn't. Are you afraid that you would like it too much? I don't know.
It's just one more avenue to consume calories and spend money.
Calories, that's a big one for me too.
Yeah.
As long as it's not worth it.
But on the other hand, you know, whatever.
I can see a hard day's work.
You come back.
You have a beer. it just you know is
a a self-reward yeah i don't like chiz's beer snobbery in the chat over here telling us to
drink our pee beer which is so douchey chiz what's wrong with the bud light or a miller light or a
coors light they're wildly successful because they do
what they tell they're going to do. Low alcohol, easy to drink, refreshing. If you get off your
lawnmower and you go pour a nice, low-carbonated, thick porter into a mug, you can fuck right off.
That is not what you're supposed to do. That's what that's meant for. A reward beer, I think of
a Budweiser or something. You just finished a bunch of yard work and you want something that's alcoholic
but borderline water and you can drink
real quick and it'll basically hydrate you.
You know? Have a Mexican
beer. Bud tastes like shit. I agree with what he
just said. Mexican beer is better.
That's not true. That's not true. Dos Equis
tastes so much better than Corona
and Corona tastes so much better than
anything Budweiser's ever made.
I do like Corona with lime in the neck.
I wonder if Chiz watches my vlogs and how he feels about it.
Like, I'm out there making a deck right now.
Does he think, man, I'd have been a part of that?
Or does he think, oh, thank God I'm not a part of that?
He thinks, thank God I'm not slaving away with a hammer and nail
and building what to him is a pyramid-level feat.
He feels like a Jew in Egypt in the year 400 BC or whatever.
Well, way before that.
But yeah, he even said, I do not enjoy it at all.
He does not envy any of it, is what he wrote.
You're missing out, Chiz.
Like, you could be.
It has its moments, but overall, not my thing.
You're missing out, dude.
You could be deck building with me.
We're about to put the top cover on hopefully tomorrow.
It's real rewarding shit, dude.
That would be the day I'd sleep in on. Really, tomorrow's top cover
day. Well, I'm going to be up until 5am, so
when I wake up, it should be done.
If I wake up
every morning and there's always another thing
to do in my yard, I'll know
that I've passed away and that
I really fucked up in my life.
Because every day I have to wake up and build a part
of a shed that when I wake up the next morning
I have to do it again.
And again.
And again.
Every morning you get up
and put the shed back together
and every night the demons come
and tear it all back down
and you have to get back up
and do it all over again.
That's Woody's heaven, by the way,
just so you know.
That's Woody's heaven.
It's all optional.
You don't have to do it.
I'll probably start late tomorrow. That's like a Twilight Zone-style thing. Like the afterlife fucks up and know. That's Woody's heaven. It's all optional. You don't have to do it. I'll probably start late tomorrow.
That's like a Twilight Zone-style thing.
Like, the afterlife fucks up,
and it sends me and Woody to the same thing,
and we're there together,
and it's his heaven and my hell,
and I hate it.
But by virtue of the gods,
I have to help him with these things.
He's so upbeat about it that I just want to kill him.
And so I kill him, like, every other day,
but he just comes right back,
because it's heaven and hell.
It doesn't sound like my heaven, getting murdered every other day but he just comes right back because it's heaven and hell it doesn't sound like my heaven
getting murdered every other day but
yeah no but it's like
well it's like not real murder
it's just a good comeback
yeah it's heaven
anyway
slowly growing to resent each of the lawnmowers
bad boy bad lawnmower
now tomorrow will be a late thing
it's 1.10 now
and shit I'll probably be up
till 3 I have to edit today's video
I got a lot of work in front of me
still
he liked when the tractor
did work
what do you mean?
Like lifting the plywood and stuff?
I'm thinking about squeezing in some Age of Mythology.
No heavy lifting.
Ooh, Age of Mythology!
You wanna squeeze some in, Carl?
Yeah, a little bit, I think so.
Nice.
Maybe Chiz will join.
It's always fun when Chiz joins in.
Chiz doesn't like to play the game with us.
I'll tell you why.
Chiz says he doesn't like Age of Mythology for a number of reasons.
I think A, he's bad at it.
He's just real bad at it.
He doesn't have a mind for it, I think.
I think it requires a real quick-witted guy to be good at this.
RTS in general, we haven't really seen him excel in anything RTS-based,
but I just think he's a little slow for that sort of game,
especially Age of Mythology with all of its many facets
and the different gods and how they all change.
No two buildings are alike.
Like cognitive horsepower and memorization.
It's a lot to think about.
Hours and hours of studying.
I mean, I got my notebook here.
I'm always watching tutorials, taking notes,
trying to learn from the best,
and he just doesn't have what it takes to go up to that next level,
if you understand what I'm saying here.
So it's been hard to get him to play anything with us
because, you know, we've shamed him several times now.
Yeah, I think the problem is that he's waiting for
Sander's policies to be implemented in-game
so that he gets some of our wood and our gold
and our food and our food
and our trade routes.
Because he's working just
as hard as us, Kyle.
He's just having trouble.
We should have to pay our due.
I wish
he would come play with us, though. He's always all
playing some stupid...
StarCraft is... I don't want to play StarCraft
right now. I want to perfect my... I feel like I haven't peaked at Age of Mythology yet. I'm still some Starcraft. I don't want to play Starcraft right now. I want to perfect my age.
I feel like I haven't peaked at Age of Mythology yet.
I'm still trying to get better at that.
And then once I feel like I've kind of mastered that
or gotten as good as I can be at it
or as good as I'm going to be,
then we'll move on to Starcraft.
And then we'll start the Wings of Redemption challenge
and we'll shame him at the game he's supposed to be so fucking good at.
It'll be sweet.
It'll be sweet, Chiz.
It's like
mastering Age of Mythology is fucking hard
because now you've mastered Orinos.
I don't think so.
I think there's so much to know.
There's so much to know.
I'm saying that Orinos is one of the gods you can
use, but Kyle's very good with that god.
And I think that you pretty much
have it down.
Any differences in how you're playing now are largely going to be having to do with
the random environment that you got spawned with.
Situational.
Because you know the steps
but you don't know the Egypt steps.
You're still working on Greek, I think,
because you skipped straight to Atlantean
because you liked them more.
Yeah, it seemed like the better idea.
I've got, I don't know, I've got build orders written down.
I can play any of them, but I've just got to go by the cookbook.
I've got Ornos memorized.
I've got Atlantean memorized, I guess.
It's all different.
It's a difficult game to get down.
I guess StarCraft's equally difficult
in that you've got the Terrans and the Protoss and the Zerg,
and they're all just radically different.
I mean, I was playing with Zerg the other day
trying to get that down, and
it's
weird looking at how all the units are made.
You're mutating things, and
it's all biological,
so it's kind of weird to get your head wrapped around.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't like it as much
but that's just because i just like the ethos the mythology that's neat the thing with like mastery
like you're talking about like almost being like a really good master at it is knowing when to
ignore that build order and when you're like no i know better than that like i'm doing this now
like you have to derivate from that and that's the mark of... Because if you just followed those build orders piece by piece by piece,
like a recipe every game, it'll work.
But you could be doing better.
There's a difference between a cook and a chef.
Yes.
Yeah, that's what it is.
A cook is just reading that, and you became a chef when you're like,
yeah, I don't need three people on wood right now.
Fuck that, I'm advancing anyway.
I can do this.
That kind of shit.
Really intense stuff, guys.
It really is.
I've been taking it pretty seriously.
I get a little upset if we lose a game.
I'm like, well, what the fuck happened there?
God damn it.
I'm usually pretty upset with myself.
I feel like I've...
Yeah.
Our fans have gotten better.
They've definitely stepped their game up.
And yeah, facing two or three of them is too much sometimes.
I don't think we've lost too many fair fights, but we've lost a few.
A couple.
No, I don't think we've lost... But last night was just a real shit show.
No, we've lost one fair fight, and that was because of the resource thing where we ended
at the end and then we checked the map
and they still had like fucking deer roaming
around in their area of the map.
Trees, gold, they were still mining
and our entire side of the map was
barren. It was just
snow. There was nothing left.
It was snow and a bunch of
little brown dots where trees
used to be.
Nothing. Yeah, nothing.
Yeah.
Yeah, we should play some of that.
But, yeah, I'm really having a lot of fun playing with the fans.
You guys are generally really cool people,
especially the ones who come and play with us.
Never are any of those guys douchebags.
And I'll tell you what, most of the time you guys have really good senses of humor
and you're quick-witted guys, a lot of to hang out with um i who was that one guy it was clear he was like trying to
make an impression on us like make sure he was memorable he was cracking jokes the whole time
uh it's kind of shitty i don't can't think of his name but uh sour plays with us uh seems like
we've played just about everything sour from cod to isn Sour easy to get along with? That guy,
he's a great guy.
Yeah, I like him. He's good.
It's been easy to get along with everyone
for me. I don't have that history with Peter
Baelish like you guys, and so
I'm cool with him.
I think they're all good.
Even Chiz says, fuck Baelish.
If you ever see Sour,
I would love it if you gave him preferential treatment
because he's a man.
We do. We get him in there as much as we can.
And Peter, I'm just fucking with you.
You should come play with us some more.
You're good at the game.
Stop playing like such a fucking asshole, though.
Chiz wrote,
I'm not a guy, Peter.
You're not going to be playing Starcraft. Yeah, right? You won't get to play with Chiz Bro. I'm not. I'm not Peter. Oh. You're not going to be playing StarCraft.
Yeah, right?
You won't get to play with Chiz, but if you want to play with me and Taylor,
you're welcome to come do that.
We have a good time. I really enjoy
those games. What an empty threat.
Oh, you won't be able to come
bowling with me.
You weren't going to come bowling with me.
Anyway, you guys want to call it a show?
Yeah.
Yeah, I think so.
PKA.
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All right.
Goodbye.
280.