Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #281
Episode Date: May 13, 2016This week on PKA, Tucker comes on the show, we get another Taylor bible story, the guys a ton about VR and what's the best unit to get, as well as the slum whole Kyle is staying in during his time in ...LA.
Transcript
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Rely, Painkiller Ready, episode 281 with our guest, Tucker.
Yeah, welcome aboard everyone.
We have several sponsors this week.
I want to thank them all from Audible, Tracker, MeUndies, 1-800-Flowers,
Truck Club, Loot Crate, and of course Wendy's.
And speaking of Wendy's, let's see here.
Right now I'm not talking to everyone listening.
I'm just talking to you.
That's because Wendy's Jalapeno Fresco Spicy Chicken Sandwich is so flavorful and so hot, it's not for
everyone. It's just for you. We tried it and we love it. It's made from Colby Jack
cheese, fresh jalapenos, ghost pepper sauce, and a toasted jalapeno bun. And for
those that really want to turn up the heat, you can check it out over at your
local Wendy's with those delicious ghost pepper fries as well. I couldn't handle the ghost pepper fries in conjunction with the spicy sandwich,
so maybe separately.
The jalapeno fresco spicy chicken sandwich is only available for a limited time
at participating Wendy's, so go and get yours today.
It's good stuff.
Now I know what we've got to go get.
I've had it.
It's so hot.
Really?
So good.
Okay, we'll have to go try it.
It sounds pretty tasty.
I feel like Wendy's took a risk because it's hotter than you'd find at typical chains of restaurants.
They're pioneers, Wendy's.
Going places McDonald's and others wouldn't dare go.
McDonald's tried it.
They said no.
People couldn't handle this.
And Wendy's said, give them a shot.
And that's what they did.
They gave everyone the opportunity to have a sandwich.
It doesn't just pander to the masses.
So get out there and get yourself this sandwich.
Enjoy it.
Give it a thumbs up.
So Hope is only here for the very start of the show.
I got to study for APUS tomorrow anyways.
A push, I guess.
But yeah, I don't know.
The last couple weeks we've been going through her exes.
And the stories were hilarious to me.
There's enough of them. It's like it happens here it him no it was like oh yeah this
happened that happened um just collecting the story over a time of
weeks I guess you know like putting together like oh gosh she is it's a
program of store she's left the campsite a wreck. So, anyway.
You know the whole campsite rule?
Are you familiar with this?
I have heard it.
Yeah, yeah.
Well.
I don't know that rule.
Oh.
Can you explain the campsite rule?
The campfire rule or campsite rule is that, you know, like when you date someone, you need to leave it at least as good as you found it.
And seeing as how the campsite was left a wreck
in some of my relationships,
the ones I'm going to be sharing today are
the ones that
it was not my fault.
Okay? I mean, that just means as long
as you only prey on campsites
that were just visited by bears,
you're always coming out on top, right?
Like, just pick the really awful
campsites,
and you don't have to do any maintenance.
Sure.
Just short-term, fun campsites is what I would say.
This has been my strategy for many years.
Direct when you get there, it doesn't matter how you leave.
You don't go spend six years at the same campsite.
You're a crazy person.
You go spend a couple nights, and then you go find a new camping spot.
Yeah, you find the really ruined campsites and you take advantage of those and you just leave them just as ruined.
I like your style.
Well, I'm 17 so I think I shouldn't follow that advice.
No, no.
You're not even 17.
I turn 17 in a couple weeks, yeah.
Well, congratulations. It's a worthless birthday.
That's true. 16 I could could drive 18 i'm an adult
literally can do nothing 17 i'm the dancing queen young and sweet only 17 so anyway sorry yeah
all right what was the one we were just talking about we were talking about cancer kid
yeah so back when last year i dated this guy and we've been talking for a little bit it was all fun and
games and he goes uh well before he leaves for his two-week spring break which i'm still jealous
of you two-week spring break he told me that he went to the doctors and they were worried about
something on one of his lymph nodes and i'm like oh my god are you okay i'm so worried because actually that's like
well he's not mono boy so i think we can skip to the cancer part right yeah right cancer boy
that's is that what he has that is the boy same boy yeah there was no mono boy no but he went off
and for a couple weeks and then when he came, like we had been texting this entire time, too.
He came back, and he was right about to come back to school,
and he was like, hey, I don't really know if I can handle the pressure
of having a girlfriend and school stuff and health issues.
Cancer.
Basically because he had cancer.
He had cancer. Let's not gloss over this why not just give him just go out with him for a while it's got a built-in expiration date cancer
that's the right that's the right way to go about it because he was faking having cancer to get out
of breaking up with me and i honestly thought that this kid was sick.
No, no, no.
You got it backwards.
He faked having cancer so that he could break up with you.
Yeah, he didn't try and get out of it.
He didn't fake breaking up with you.
He actually did it.
He did it in one of the worst ways possible.
He looks for the other bad ways that I've been broken up with a little bit.
But he...
Why not just pick an easier thing than cancer?
I know, right?
Like, how do you even follow through with that lie?
This was a long-distance relationship, right?
No.
Oh, no? He's local?
Yeah, he went to, like, the other town over.
Okay.
Yeah, so...
Long distance for you, no car.
Yeah, right?
Not at the same as you're going to jog it up over there. Out of sight is long distance for you. That's. Yeah, right. Not at the same as you got to chalk it up over there.
Out of sight is long distance for you.
That's what I want to talk about.
I want to talk about the shocking revelation that you didn't want a car immediately.
You didn't want wheels to navigate the fucking planet,
to go anywhere and everywhere you could possibly go anytime you want.
Like, if there's an emergency, fuck it.
Not only do I have an ability to get my family
members and anyone i know to the hospital i have a 3 000 pound killing machine that i could crush
zombies with you have a 3 000 pound the car is not just transportation everyone in your car and
around your car that is why i didn't immediately get a car it's like some way too responsible 20s
trying to convince everyone that they didn't need a horse.
That, you know, carriages were just a luxury item. Like, of course you need it. You need it to get
anywhere. And that's why I'm getting it over the summer. You're like that guy who doesn't wear
shoes. He just wants to toughen his feet up. He's like, ah, man, I isn't supposed to wear shoes.
Yeah, maybe not, but really, could I get stuff? I wear shoes. That's exactly what he's doing.
He's like, oh, you, I don't,
I'm just going to drive this, like,
big killing machine around.
I don't need to do anything or whatever.
And I'm like, hey, I'm really worried.
I want to make sure that I'm more mature
and more able to handle all the situations
that I come across and driving.
If you're worried about how mature you are,
you're mature enough.
Yeah, because it doesn't make sense. If you have those thoughts, then you've gotten there, I promise. You're there!
You just need to get in your first accident. Just like, put her in a beater and drive into a wall and like, experience that shock and then you're like, okay!
Go to a derby!
I've done it a lot. Like, I often have access to cars that are like, beaters and I'm gonna blow up anyway. I'll fucking ram all kinds of shit. I can't even talk about the shit I've rammed with cars. I've done it a lot. I often have access to cars that are like beaters and I'm going to blow up anyway.
I'll fucking ram all kinds of shit. I can't even talk
about the shit I've rammed with cars.
I've done all kinds of crazy stuff.
Just to feel what it feels like to have a little wreck.
You're about not mature enough to be
having the responsibility of driving.
If I were mature,
I would be living in a place like this
24-7, not just for the weekend.
Maturity isn't necessarily for the weekend. Maturity
isn't necessarily a good thing.
Maturity is not always a good thing.
There's no reason. What is maturity, really?
Is it forgetting the joys
of life that we achieve every day?
I want to be mature
if that's what it means.
Alright, then.
I was just saying a situation
Do we want to hear more stories or do we need to leave?
Go study for A-Push.
You asked a group that wouldn't like that and I gave you one.
That's the only one I can think of.
Yeah, you're right.
I'm just happy that somebody
faked cancer to get out of a relationship with somebody.
That's not just a story that was told
online and it was like, yeah, this totally happened.
No, this one actually happened happened I didn't say how I
found out so the reason why I found out he didn't actually have anything wrong
with him was a few months later someone else that he was friends with live even
like said oh yeah he was talking about at summer camp about how he faked cancer
to get out of dating you shit not only Not only did he do it, he told people
about it. You know what we should do?
Do you have his phone number? We can put it out there.
No.
It's a service we offer.
You know, old school
painkiller already would have got 9,000
retweets on his phone number.
Old school painkiller already had a title
called Rape Squad Killers.
Where is this now? That was for me, even. I still don't understand that. Old-school painkiller already had a title called rape squad killers like
Even I still don't understand that I
Should have went back at some point and watch the clip honestly never took the time
Alright, I'll be you go study. Thank you. Alrighty does not condone rape of any kind
No, or squads of any kind, nor killers.
0 for 3.
That's the name for a softball team.
A softball team.
Softball teams have some fucked up names.
That's what I said.
Baby Steel Clubbers.
My favorite.
So I guess for... Taylor.
I guess if you don't...
I was just on the softball team name thing.
Do you have any cool hockey like you
played hockey did anyone have cool names uh did we do this already i think no it's just i think
it's more men's league teams yeah and like goofing on teams that let you have silly names because you
can't have like boner patrol coming out to play a bunch of six-year-olds and like mini might
you you have to have like you like the serpents versus the
alligators or something. You can't be getting
too out there with it. But men's league,
yeah. Yeah, I played for the Buffalo
Wings, but some of the teams we played against, we
played against the Ice Holes and
Only Here for the Beer. Those were some of my favorites.
Only Here for the Beer
seems to be the most accurate
of all those kinds of leagues and whatnot.
It's getting to the point where like a bunch of my friends asked me like hey do you want to uh you
want to come play softball with us in a league every sunday and i was like no that doesn't sound
like fun i don't like softball and they're like well honestly it's more just gonna be us drinking
at a field slowly playing one of my friends didn't doesn't even want to play, and so he got himself one of the t-shirts,
assigned himself as chief batting coach,
and he's just going to sit and get tanked every single game.
That's the way to do it.
He's like,
Glug, glug, glug, glug.
He's like, all right, all right, good one, boss, all right.
So I guess I should tell anybody who didn't watch PKN why I'm here.
Maybe should I tell the whole awful story?
Well, start with your start.
And eventually when you were forced to give everything to her.
And then eventually we'll turn back around to why you have a second mattress.
Before he starts this story, he's not gay.
Yet. Just setting it up. What kind of red herring was that? I am really Before he starts this story he's not gay Yet
Just setting it up
What kind of red herring was that
I was trying to
It was a good pause
I was trying to
I think Kyle knew that he had an awful breakup
And that he lost all of his things
And so now he was in this
I thought he was going to be like well yeah this is my dad's new place
Surprise
I was going towards
Awful things happened And we'll explain this was going to be like, well, yeah, this is my dad's new place. Surprise! Or something like that. I was going towards, you know,
awful things happened, and we'll explain
this insane
asylum.
And he said, nuh-uh!
I did not catch your drift.
We would have done terribly in one of
Chiz's 250 games, or
Pink Killer 200, or whatever that was.
Anyway, so explain why you're there, Kyle.
Yeah, so I'm in Los Angeles right now.
I've got a small role in a movie, and so I'm out here.
I was going to be out here for like three separate trips,
but I just got a call like a little while ago that they need me on Monday
when I was supposed to fly home on Saturday.
So I'm going to be out here for a couple weeks.
When I first got here, my driver fixed me up, takes me to an Airbnb,
and I thought and Kitty thought that this was going to be my own apartment, right?
I'd have my own separate space.
So I meet this guy, Matt.
Matt takes me upstairs, shows me the place.
It's not bad.
It's not the worst.
I'm quickly scanning the room, taking the measure of it, and I'm like, oh, fucking full computer desk with a gaming PC.
I can see that, like, you know, just by looking at the case, I can see that this will play
my games.
I can get on fucking Steam and have some fun.
I see there's a projector with a pulled-down screen.
He's talking about that.
He's like, your bedroom's back there, full kitchen over here.
And I'm like, this isn't great, but, like, it's not even as nice as, like, my very, very
first apartment, but it's close to as nice as that
and i can deal with that this will be okay and then he's like i'll be just down the hall if you
need me and just down the hall is like right there like okay yeah you'll be right there huh like six
feet away because i'm sharing an apartment with a dude i don't fucking know apparently and i'm just
like i'm in my room like fucking texting like fix this fix this fix this
fix this this isn't gonna work i'm gonna fucking lose it i can't deal with this i get in there the
windows don't have glass on them the windows don't have glass on them there is a screen there are two
double windows okay double windows uh on opposite ends of the room they don't have glass just
screens they they have a shutter on the inside but it's not a shutter like a modern shutter that on opposite ends of the room. They don't have glass, just screens.
They have a shutter on the inside,
but it's not a shutter like a modern shutter that would like, ka-chunk, and lock really securely,
make a noise that let you know that,
yeah, it's locked up and secure,
and oh, look, there's a key latch.
Uh-uh.
I'm talking about two old planks of wood
that go, errrr,
and then there's one of those hooks that goes on,
and the backs of them to make them opaque
because i guess the termites ate them up or who knows what the fuck here uh has construction
papers stapled all over it so the sun won't shine through not kidding all of the outlets all of the
outlets are two prong outlets no ground in the bottom middle so that means that my cell phone
like thing won't plug in. My laptop can't charge.
I basically don't have access to electricity
unless I go way over in the corner
where the one power thing is
and use the one source of electricity that's available.
But it's awkward.
It's hanging up from a corner
because there's guests.
He's made the sound system
of some Sennheiser headphones
that work wirelessly.
I'm in there fucking texting frantically.
I'm like, I'm not going to fucking stay here.
This is not going to work.
I'm not sharing a house with this dude on this tiny gross bed.
Like no privacy.
Like the bathroom's gross with like mildew and mold stains everywhere
and like missing some of the things that you normally expect in a bathroom.
Like, you know that little thing in the sink that prevents, like, a ring from going down the drain?
That's gone.
It's just a hole.
And I'm sorry, but I don't want to point it out.
Does that ever make you wonder, like,
when things like that are missing?
What happened?
That's not something that breaks.
Somebody came in there and was like, aha!
Someone had to take, like,
someone had to sit there and think,
I'm going to fucking steal this.
I'm going to steal this,
and someone's not going to have a drain stop.
I've always thought about things like that that don't make sense.
Why?
I can't imagine.
Like they would be missing.
Sorry.
So they apologize.
No, you're fine.
So they're like, oh, we're really sorry.
We didn't know that it was going to be like that.
We didn't know that.
We're going to get you in a new place.
So I call an Uber up.
They come pick me up, and they're taking me to a hotel.
They give me the address to a hotel.
But I don't even say anything to this Mac guy.
I swear, I pick my luggage up, walk straight through the middle of his house,
his tiny apartment.
He was in his bedroom, hockey game, door cracked about, yay.
And I just eased on out and never looked back
I guess they contact him eventually and told him that I wouldn't be staying
or something like that but then they put me in this Korean hotel
and by Korean hotel I mean owned operated and
the security guard was Korean all the other guests are Korean
eighty-five percent of the TV channels are Korean and I don't mean dubbed
not just Korean programming but dubbed American programming.
Both.
It's all Korean.
The menu, like, I tried to order room service, and it was in fucking Korean.
I'm not even kidding.
It was outrageous.
And there are little things wrong with that place.
Just little things.
But I was happy to stay there.
They also gave me twin beds, which I know these are little things, but it's like, come on, just get it right.
If I were booking it, it would be right.
That's all I'm saying.
So then I don't complain about that.
I didn't.
But that was only a one-night thing.
They're like, oh, we're getting you a new Airbnb place.
It's going to be pimp.
And Kitty's coordinating with them and everything,
and they send me a link,
and I'm on set in my dressing room sitting there looking at this thing,
and I'm like, oh, this is nice.
This is nice.
Big California king-size bed. There's
a nice living room. I get here.
It's a slum hole.
Okay? You open the front
door and there's a long, narrow
hallway of doors
that lead to rooms like this.
The bed is behind me. The living
room's over there. There's not a television
set. The heater is some sort of gas
thing from the 70s.
There is a...
Keeping us cool.
Whatever.
In the other room, there's an electrical wire
hanging
in midair, and
it's got a hairpin in there
and some frayed wires. I'm not sure if it's
keeping the wires together or keeping them separate, but it's doing one or the other, and some frayed wires like i'm not sure if it's keeping the wires together or keeping them separate but it's doing one or the other and i feel like it is integral
to not only my electrical uh power sources but my survival i feel like if something were to happen
to that in the night this whole fucking thing burns down and and these windows i i guess i'd
go through the screen i'm unarmed too i don't like that i got no gun like all i got is there's
an iron over there and every now and then I look over
at it and I'm like yeah that's as good as
it's gonna get I look at it I'm like
I could grab this boom but it's
so small that I feel like all I could do
to a real angry guy who's coming for me is
make him really pissed off
a little and I need
something to crush some skull or something
so I guess it's the iron
so I keep it plugged in
it's plugged in. I feel like an iron isn't going to be that great.
Oh, it's plugged in all the time, though.
Plugged in, turn all the way up.
I filled it up with water.
So if they come, I'll steam them first, and they'll be like, ah!
And then I can beat them with the hot iron.
So I keep it over there simmering 24-7 in case there's any sort of security issue.
So you're waking up every five, eight minutes,
making sure you haven't burned down as you slowly begin to go senile.
Dementia, setting in, no sleep.
Everyone's a foe when you're standing there with
a hot iron in your hand, looking at shadows
dancing on the wall at night.
What was that?
I haven't slept in three days.
I like that you're steaming them.
That's how I start.
I steam them to throw them off balance
and then I beat them with the hot iron.
And that's literally the closest... all the plates and silverware... I mean, I know these are little things, right?
And, you know, count your blessings, but all the plates are dirty.
And I mean dirty in like a soap scum gross, someone used this in barely half-ass washed it kind of way.
And I don't mean one plate was like this, I mean literally every plate to the point where I had to like wash a dish when I wanted a dish I don't know I
think at first I thought they were just fucking with me but now I I don't want
to say anything bad about the people who are booking this stuff but but I really
wish they were doing as good of a job as say Chiz would do because Chiz like
today he went rattly tat rattly tat Oh look at this point four miles away full apartment $98, and I'm like what why?
Yeah, I'm not there. It's not
Unbind it
Probably not hard to get a good air B&B for like cheaper than a hotel
So it's like what are they paying 20 bucks a day have you used them before Tucker air?
Yeah, even when I was in out like every e3's your experience? So I've had only good experiences.
It's like booking a hotel.
You can see all the reviews.
You can find people that have good amenities,
and they explain exactly what they want you to do with the property and all this stuff.
It's not rocket science.
It's like booking any other hotel.
They have pictures and ratings, and you choose one that's good.
It's mystifying that they'd fuck up that bad twice.
Yeah, twice in less than a day.
And it's just a sad-looking place you're sitting in, Kyle.
I do feel like you just got divorced and lost everything
and this is the place that you picked out for yourself.
All he has is this really fancy headboard.
That's it. That's all he has to his name.
That story that Taylor was telling is... Look closely, motherfucker. That's an old mattress behind fancy headboard, that's it. That's all he has to his name. That story that Taylor was telling is...
Look closely, motherfucker.
That's an old mattress behind the headboard.
The headboard stops where my finger is.
See where my finger stops?
That's the end of the headboard.
This area up here, this margin, is an old fucking mattress stood up over there.
And I swear to God, on the ad, it said,
California king-size bed.
Nuff said. That's not, California king-sized bed. Nuff said.
That's not a California king-sized bed.
I've got a fucking king-sized, and it's bigger than this.
I don't know what this is.
It's like an aggregate plane.
Yeah, both mattresses put together
are a California king.
Guaranteed. You go back and check.
There's a little asterisk there.
Some assembly required.
California king's leaning against the wall. Bring your own California King.
California King, for people who don't know, is a little bit narrower and a little bit longer for your feet.
What? No, California King is stupidly wide.
California King is the same.
Let's Google it, let's see. Let's do it... Let's google it. Let's see.
Let's do it. Let's do it.
Can I give you a little update?
No, this is Chiz's job. Chiz is the fact finder.
Let me give you a little update.
California King is like seven feet wide.
Yeah, it's extra wide.
Let me give you a little update on what's going on with me right now.
So, that was the director just texting me.
He says, just wanted to let you know in case no one had told you yet, you're not working tomorrow either.
I've been here for fucking... just discovered that I'm right what what he
is right I lied yeah it's it's four inches longer than the than a regular
King so I and for narrower yeah every photo I've seen of a California King is
fucking wide it's pretty wide like I have a California king is fucking wide. They just turn it sideways. It's pretty wide.
I have a California king, and it's how I know we looked into this.
And yeah, it's a little narrower.
Four inches narrower, four inches longer.
That's what it is.
All right.
So look, if any of the people who I work for or with hear this,
I'm not saying this in a disparaging way.
I'm just a little frustrated because from the outset of this whole thing, the whole
thing was that
my time was very limited
and so I needed to really get into LA
and film this thing real quick and then
get out and then, oh, you need me next week? I'll be there
then for two days and then pop out again
and I'll come in and I'll film my scenes.
We'll have that all ready to go and
it'll lickety split happen.
You just needed a little respect for your time.
I got here on Tuesday, flew in on Tuesday.
Yesterday was Wednesday.
Today's obviously Thursday.
We all know the days of the week.
Tomorrow is Friday, of course.
Okay, so what's after tomorrow?
Stick with me here.
By the end of it, everyone will know all the days of the week.
I know we've got a lot of viewers who may be wrong.
Super quick.
It's important to say this because the video goes up on Saturday,
and people might not know what these days are.
It does.
Get a lot of context here.
So Friday is coming up tomorrow as we record this,
and they just let me know I will not be working tomorrow either.
So I got here Tuesday, and I did nothing.
I got here then Wednesday.
I did my wardrobe and hair.
Today's Thursday, and they didn't need me today
because I think one of the other actors who was in my scene was unable to be there
or something like that came up.
I know there were some delays, and I didn't mind that a bit.
I understood the delays and everything,
and I didn't care that I sat there for nine hours yesterday
with a scar on my face and a wig on my head and didn't actually get on camera
because I know that's the nature of the business.
So tomorrow, also not going to need me. They don't work on the weekends
so that means I'm gonna be here Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,
Saturday, and then Sunday, and then on Monday,
the fucking seventh day of being here, I will start
work. Cross your fingers. I would stroke out, like there's
there's very few things that get me super upset,
but, like, my time is probably way up there
with, like, the most valuable thing that I feel I have.
Here's the best part is, like, I'm kind of, like, stranded here.
Like, I'm in a, what I consider my, like,
I know most people probably wouldn't.
I'm sure if you live in L.A., you're laughing at me now,
but I don't want to go out there and, like,
hang out with the people who are outside my house right now.
You don't.
You don't even want to do that when you're back home, for the most part.
I wouldn't want to go meet some strange people back home either, whether it's Atlanta or LA.
But it's LA, and that's a whole different flavor unto itself.
There's some crazy shit going on outside this window right fucking now.
There's hobos screaming and cholos
like fucking doing... I saw a fucking cholo yesterday doing carburetor work
in the street with his hazards on. He was blocking the road!
He had it off and he wasn't even going fast. He was spraying carb cleaner
and he had like a towel. He stuck it back in his pocket and he was just kind of looking around like he didn't give a
fuck. So when I worked at cisco and even before then i noticed that some people
are just really good at business travel right i would go on business travel and like when i wasn't
working i'd like visit a bookstore maybe catch a movie if i'm like really adventurous other people
are coming back they're like i caught a foul ball at the mariners game here's me jet skiing behind like mariners yeah the guy he came back he was jet skiing behind a yacht
like i didn't even know you did that right it was like 150 foot luxury yacht or something i don't
know why he was there but he was jet skiing behind a ship and like i don't know he would just find
amazing other people are going like yeah, yeah, you know what?
I found a place on the weekend to go horseback riding,
so we did that through the mountains near the coast or whatever.
And, like I said, I hardly catch a movie.
I just get drunk.
Like, I don't.
I just go to a bar.
See, that's not going to be me, though,
because, like, if I'm going to go on a trip and do those things,
I want to be fully in control of the trip.
It needs to be my trip.
Like, I booked the hotel.
I'm probably going to plan what restaurants I'm going to go to while I'm there because I don't like to eat at Jack in the Box
when I'm in a city across the country.
I want to go to some local barbecue shack or something like that.
You're a Wendy's guy.
Yeah, that spicy fresco sandwich is absolutely delicious.
But that isn't the case here.
I'm literally going to be stranded in this slum holehole apartment for like i would say for the weekend at least um and i got nothing out of see
but like you could go horseback riding all right well if i wouldn't enjoy it even in the slightest
look all right first of all i've done some horseback riding it's a lot of fun i like it
i also have done horse camp when I was like nine years old
and that's the worst fucking thing ever. Everyone
sits in a line and they lead you to
where you're going to go for the day and then they lead you back to the
stable and you brush a horse for half an hour.
It's bullshit.
I remember the Ushors.
Yes, that's part of it.
Saddle your horse.
I'm getting a business idea.
It was the same thing when I went to janitor camp.
It was just a bunch of scrubbing and cleaning the whole time.
I need like epoxy paint my floor camp on the stable.
No fun, no fun.
Stable hand training again.
Just call it an internship, Woody.
Would you rather eat?
I could get an Uber and ride out to the edge of the city
and maybe there's some sort of horse riding adventure
and I would hate every fucking second of it like every fucking second of it
I would be uncomfortable and angry that I was there and upset with all the individuals
I had to deal with and I got nobody here to share it with either which is sounds kind of lonely
But but like I like that I like having I like sharing an experience with someone so that we can both be like hey
Remember the time we're at fucking Six Flags and I fucking started tearing
the safety harness off Gary
and he fucking pissed his pants?
That was great, right?
Gary developed a speech impediment after that
and then we kind of feel bad.
If we were there together, I'd be hunting for a place
to go go-kart riding.
And if I'm there alone,
I'd be in the hotel
by myself just like Kyle.
Yeah.
No, I get that, though.
If I went there, I would definitely be in a real hotel.
I'm never going to use Airbnb, even though Tucker is really talking it up.
Maybe he's had way better experience.
I have.
I got firsthand seeing Kyle in these two shitty little hovels back to
back days.
It's just sad.
Look at that.
That guy knows it looks like you stumbled in and he was like,
Oh my God,
like this is a game show.
Like I didn't know I was this week's Airbnb guy.
Like I wish I had prepared and cleaned and had,
you know,
suitable amenities,
but no,
it looks like it's like,
it's unacceptable for someone who knows someone is paying to stay in their home.
It's bad, but it's not that bad to me.
I mean, his internet works.
He has a window unit air conditioner.
I'm sharing a fucking Wi-Fi signal
with God knows how many people.
We're all on the same thing.
It's super insecure, I feel like.
Yeah.
Let's not joke.
That window unit does jack shit,
especially in L.A. in the summer.
The weather's nice
the weather you're lucky now i'm i literally moved because my house that we were renting had no
central ac we had three of those uh like 1200 btu eight portable ac units pumping ac a hundred
percent of the time that house was 85 degrees every day no matter what like you get destroyed
even if it was cool
the noise and on that something like that would bug me oh yeah super loud super loud so yeah
well yeah i uh it's really really nice outside it's cool like uh it's kind of chilly i feel like
i wish i had a jacket i went on out today um but yeah i don't want to go do any adventures
while i'm here like i'm it's really work trip, and I'm in work trip mode.
I'm spending my free time reading the script.
I'm spending my free time going over the call sheet,
making sure I know everybody's names and stuff.
I'm doing work.
Company of Heroes 2 working.
Oh, I did that now.
I'll tell you what, I got my priorities in order.
I didn't have a laptop for this trip.
I stepped on, I had a, what was it, iBuyPower laptop maybe or something like that, like a gaming laptop.
And then I had a Razer Blade 2, and both of them are broken.
And then I had just a regular, like, I don't know, i7 processor, little notebook thing that I had.
And I think it might have been stolen.
I don't know where the fuck it is.
So I was left without a laptop, and that was going to be a no-go for this trip.
So I bought a laptop. It's
I don't know. It was like a $1,500
Asus gaming laptop for this trip.
And I'm digging it so far.
I'm liking this thing. I downloaded Company of Heroes
overnight last night, and
Taylor and Chiz and I got on earlier and
played a couple games, had some fun.
I'm liking that game. I like RTS
so much. I love RTS. I always
thought I'd hate it and not be able to
keep up.
Because you can, in Call of Duty
it seems like when you get a little bit better
you don't really even see it.
Like, if you improve a tiny bit. But if you
improve a tiny bit in RTS, you can
totally see it. It's like, oh, yeah, you just got a little
bit better and that really changes the
end effect. Can we talk about Call of Duty and the trailer that came out? like, oh, yeah, you just got a little bit better, and that really changes the end effect. Can we talk about
Call of Duty and the trailer that came out?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
We can't even watch it, can we?
We probably can. I don't know.
Yeah, you can, 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chiz, would you find the link for it? So, let me set it up.
It appears that
it's, like, Chiz wrote Space Wars in there.
It looks like there's a lot of
aerial piloting type stuff, and it's different. And I Space Wars in there. It looks like there's a lot of aerial piloting type stuff.
And it's different.
And I didn't really pick up on that in the trailer.
And then someone asked the CEO of Activision or whatever he was to respond to the fact that the video had so many dislikes.
I think it has more likes than dislikes when I saw it.
I'm not sure.
No?
Okay, more dislikes than likes.
It is the 77th most disliked video of all time.
It was 72nd when I checked. it's climbing you know it um who knows what it is now but it's one of the most it has almost
400 000 dislikes and people are not digging the space thing and the guy said we understand people
want boots on the ground that's why we remastered codD 4. And I didn't realize the implication there
is that those are the only
boots on the ground and the rest of it is Space Wars.
Do you have insight
on this or are you just going off trailer analysis?
I got...
So, I'm not going to pretend
to be any more involved in Call of Duty
than Team Art or Ali A's, but
from following...
That's pretty involved.
Right, well, they're the pinnacle of involvement. I keep my feet wet. than like T-Mart or Allie's, but from following the... That's pretty involved, yeah.
Right, well, they're the pinnacle of involvement.
I keep my feet wet.
And so, yeah, they said that,
they confirmed that they had said a bunch of stuff about boots on the ground,
which often refers to as the military stuff
being, you know, like just having units in the area.
The cod we're used to.
Yeah, in the community,
everybody talks about it as no jetpacks,
no thrusters,
not as flying all around shit.
So when he said, we do have boots on the ground.
That's why we're remastering COD 4.
That just says to everybody, well, movement's going to be the same as it was three years ago.
And somebody made a good point.
This game was in development from Ghosts onward.
So they had a whole year to start developing this
and then Black Ops 3 comes- er, uh, and then Advanced Warfare comes out
and then they probably had a whole six months before people were like,
fuck this movement, I want something else.
They can't stop and change fundamentally, like, a core part of the game, so...
I kinda fucked.
So, I thought people liked the new COD.
Like, okay, let me preface that actually.
And I- I'm- one second, I really wanna hear what Jericho says, okay, let me preface that, actually. And one second.
I really want to hear what Jericho says.
So it is May.
At this point, everybody hates COD all the time, every year.
At this point, in COD 4, Blaintruth was selling No Frag Times 3 shirts, right?
XCAL was ripping the shit out of COD 4.
And that's one of the most beloved CODs ever.
So keeping that, like, framework in mind, isn't this one of the most beloved cods ever so keeping that like framework
in mind isn't this one of the more liked cods no oh wait wait all right you're talking about
black ops 3 right yes because black ops 3 and advanced warfare are inherently like different
advanced warfare is like the most it's like the farthest left of of the movement so you can you
can jet thrust sideways
really quickly or backwards or forwards or ground slide around or black ops 3 is more like a movement
augmentation so it's not like it's not it's a core part of the game but it's not you you're not
trying to shoot a fly right you're not trying to shoot something that's zipping around so
black ops 3 still really liked they don't like the ideas that activision made with like the paid micro transactions that's always you know a
hot issue but the core gameplay is pretty well received it's just the fact
that it's an Infinity Ward team that did not make anything besides ghosts is
making this game that has a movement system like advanced warfare and you're
just like this has very low chance of being good
and a very high chance of being bad and horrible so so you move like advanced warfare so you can
boost around but imagine and they've already confirmed that all the multiplayer maps are
going to be on different planets so we could see maps with like quarter gravity where boosting is
literally the only thing you can do and then it's just like I want to I want to play Halo now or there's totally
gonna be a map where it's like zero G and everybody's flying around and it's
in a shit show yeah so look I don't think I'm interested in that multiplayer
definitely not long term I am interested in its single player when I watch that
kit that trailer and like if I had if I went into that trailer not knowing that it was you know space
warfare i i already knew basically what what the deal was before it but when i saw it i i was
thinking myself like if i didn't know that and then you know these ships take off and everything
and it's like oh okay they got kind of like hovercraft type big ships and then all of a sudden
it's like this is ground control to major tom and it fucking takes off through the atmosphere and
it's like, whoa!
That would be so mind-blowing if I didn't know that going in.
So I think I will like the campaign mode for the new COD.
And I'm so excited for COD 4 coming back.
How many years have I been talking about this, right?
For years and years I've been talking about this.
Like repopulating the old COD 4 servers and stuff.
But then it got full of hackers and it ruined it so much and and they're bringing it back and
presumably it'll be back for a long long time you know because it's it's DLC yeah
I'm sure they will I'm sure they will because there's gonna be a lot of us on
there that's where I'm going yeah I mean that's where I think that's where most
people are but I think it's just kind of funny like in the back of my head don't
get me wrong I am so excited for the remaster,
with the exception of the fact that I'm afraid they're going to change the game engine to an extent
that it's not even going to feel like Call of Duty 4.
Yep, me too.
But I have played COD 4 or one of the various pro mods, mods, etc. on PC
at least a couple times a month, every month since the game has come out.
Like, I post videos about Call of Duty 4
Me playing multiplayer or you know to this day
And it feels and it holds up to the test of time like it's that good
So it's kind of funny to me that a game that I'm playing in 1440p
Yeah, a game that I'm playing in 1440p is is is being remastered in HD
You know it's like it's not doom 3 which
has doomed the original remastered and you're like holy shit we went from
squares to HD textures it's like this game was in HD we're just making it look
better like full HD you know 1080p or 1440p textures so it's just kind of
kind of interesting to me but just don't play on this thing I don't want why do
60 to 70 percent of every game now have your
character wearing exoskeletons like it
seems like it's it's encroaching in
everything every person every game has
to like come crashing down and like oh
that would kill a normal person but not
that guy or girl like he's wearing a
robot suit all right but Master Chief
did that didn't fall like a kilometer in
like Halo 1 or 2 and
everybody was just like yeah he's got a super suit like he's basically a robot yeah right but
with the with the population or the popularity of like this new mech warrior shit coming in that
they they have exosuits that exist like people picking up boxes with them you know doing regular
warehouse work like that's you can see it going in that direction but fuck I
don't I don't want it to be zero though yep I'm ready to go all right all right
ready set play I want to try and figure out the exact time where everybody
started disliking like I good. Well you exactly
This is all like very standard model over 3s like showing mass damage everybody's dying
Yeah, I just don't dislike it. Let's see
Infinity Ward just the regular logo. I like that 10% of the people just like right there
Jericho is right. Yeah
Like this is very all this is like
I would probably dislike right here cuz I'm I'm starting to see out right there. Yeah, that's a jetpack That's not a backpack of soldier wears that's getting back this whole thing
Yeah, you can see this right here is where people just like they're like aliens, bro
Yeah, I didn't even know they were aliens
like they're like aliens bro yeah I didn't even know they were aliens I don't they're not oh yeah they're probably right I'll tell you my idea for what's going on after this but like this part was
cool to me actually this part I just feel like it's not gameplay like this I'm like no no you
have to show me what the game really looks like that's what I look for in a trailer first person
like somebody actually shooting the gun not cinematic yeah
do you think they know before they release stuff like this that everyone's gonna hate it and they just temper themselves like well we've been working on this for too long
the poor guy who actually had to edit this situation absolutely clear this is probably
where a lot of people dislike this yeah this i i got chills when they when the song comes in
like this yeah I got chills when they when the song comes in up yeah yeah but this got get rid of all the stuff in the air that's just like a space a Star Wars
space cruiser basically I feel like I didn't get into space I don't get what
they're not showing me to me this was the AC 130 scene from cod for that's
what I said yeah oh did you yeah I like, this is hype right here. Oh, this...
I really just...
At this point, I'm fine with World War II coming back.
Oh, I've got something to talk about.
But, like, obviously this does nothing for me,
but I think it's fucking cool looking.
Like, I'm not going to dislike the trailer.
Yeah, it looks cool, but it doesn't look like...
I don't know who's right.
...a Call of Duty 4 reboot.
If people are inferring that Call of Duty is now an airplane game, then I don't like it either.
But I think this is just showing off the AC-130 scene, right?
They always do single player shit, and then they do multiplayer shit.
This is all single player. Like every single bit of this. They don't even show COD 4 multiplayer.
They show single player clips.
You're holding a go ahead and right
now this part I was like what the fuck
are you showing me a score and you
minutes and 34 seconds and humanism 37
seconds you are you're fighting a robot
class trying to help us first F to pay
respect that's fair all right now we're
in space like a hundred percent fighting
on a different planet this is where a
lot of people like right everybody shut the fuck up. Best part of the trailer
The only thing I saw there that I liked was the ADS
For the old school AK-47
That's the only thing that I wanted
I was so all about that
Dude something about the recoil was like
I know exactly that Like that was so about that. Dude, something about the recoil was like, I know exactly that.
Like that bounce, the way that it was worked.
Yeah, I've spent a lot of time holding the trigger just like that.
Shizrodi's going for Mile High Club again.
Dude, I should like – you probably didn't see it.
I live streamed myself going for the Mile High Club
and I wasn't good at it.
Take a break, you dick. And what
happened was I had tried it maybe
I don't know, call it
200, 250 times before
I live streamed it and I didn't get it.
So I live streamed it and I tried
it. I don't mean to exaggerate, maybe
another 400 or 500 times
before I got it.
And I was getting frustrated and everyone's telling me to do different stuff.
But the people giving me advice didn't beat it either.
I mean, they were just...
Were you playing it on veteran?
Yeah.
You can only play on veteran.
Oh, no, you can play on...
You can only play it after you've beaten it.
But you can play it on veteran to get the achievement, obviously.
Yeah, I want to say there's...
I could be wrong on
this what's below veteran hardened or something hard yeah i think on a hardened you can shoot the
guy anywhere at the end and in veteran it has to be a headshot but i'm not positive about that
and uh but yeah i was playing it on the hardest level and i eventually beat it but during the time
the whole chat was just like they they could tell that i was a raw nerve and they loved that about me.
And they were like, take a break, take a break.
And I'm like, I don't take breaks.
I push through until I succeed.
Taking a break was like paramount to quitting in my head.
I'm not going to just go sing songs for five.
No, I will sit here and I will pound on this thing
until I win and it loses because that's what I fucking do.
And the chat is just...
They probably told me to
take a break like 10,000 times.
It's still part of the...
Sometimes you need a break.
You're right. They weren't wrong.
Focus. Because you can only do that same
thing where it's like, okay, I'm going to run forward
with my machine gun. Then I'm going to step to the right
behind the bathroom. I'm going to step to the left. I'm going to throw
a stun grenade. I'm going to step back to the left. I'm going to play a flashbang again. Step back to the right because that guy, I'm gonna step to the left, I'm gonna throw a stun grenade, I'm gonna step back to the left,
I'm gonna play a flashbang again,
step back to the right,
cause that guy with the P90's gonna shoot,
I'm gonna run forward, I'm gonna kill him all,
I'm gonna grab his P90, it's got more ammo,
I'm gonna run around, I'm gonna shoot over here
behind these seats, throw another flashbang.
Like it's so methodical at one point,
you don't even think what you're doing
until you get to the end.
I've had a bunch of things where I can't do it,
I tried 100 times, I ran out of time,
it's time to just ready to go to bed, I go to work, come home the next night, like second or where I can't do it. I tried 100 times. I ran out of time. It's time to go to bed.
I go to work.
Come home the next night, like second or third try.
I get it.
It was the break.
I'm sure it would have taken me another –
I wouldn't have got it in two more tries if I was going more that night.
So they weren't wrong, but that's not how I like to do it.
I like to just pound it into submission.
That's how I have sex.
Just slip that in there. that's not even true the way oh yeah so anyway yeah you were going oh I
was just gonna make one comment you were talking about World War two returning
did you see the battlefield a little teaser that looks very much like it
could be a world.
They're going to talk about it, I think, tomorrow.
The announcement of the new Battlefield game.
And they just tweeted like a six-second video.
I'm sure Chiz can find it.
And it's a guy just standing and looking at a shadow casting.
But a couple people have gone through and shown assets for World War II parachutes and life vests,
and it looks like the guy could be wearing a World War II life vest.
And if I'm going to be honest, if there's ever a time to quote-unquote dethrone Call of Duty as Battlefield,
it's going to be coming out with a next-gen World War II gritty, bare-bones game, kind of like the Vietnam DLC that they had,
and then doing it during this Call of Duty space shit.
Like, it's not going to take people from Call of Duty 4,
but I've been wanting World War II since World at War came out.
So, I mean, especially with new engines and shit,
like, just that raw energy and goriness could be fucking awesome.
But they won't do it, i don't know i don't know either i to me i feel like world war ii has been
done to death but i also feel like my vote's kind of invalid you know if i had put the kind of time
into cod that maybe some of the people listening here in recent years i might be around the same
train like oh yeah this future stuff is worn out.
Time to go back.
But to me, it's not that worn out
because I barely played the last two or three cards.
So Chiz, are you willing to admit defeat at this point
on our little presidential bet?
It's pretty much over, right?
He doesn't have the doubt.
What was your bet?
You're going to try to Jew me out of this?
Is that what you're
Doing Bernie Sanders cannot be elected without some crazy shit. I'm assuming so you're going on about he's saying Trump won't get the nomination I
Look man, I am from the nomination. I win. That's that's the bet it 1237 he got he doesn't need
He's got the majority of the delegates because there's no one to defy him.
They go to him.
Here's what I heard.
I saw an interesting theory.
Somebody said that the Republican side would quietly say, yes, we support you,
and then not do anything for him and let him tank in the general election and then just hope.
No, they're following in line.
All right.
They totally are. Mitt Romney
is going to endorse him soon.
Huckabee endorsed him today.
And McCain's going to endorse him too.
I saw that
Speaker of the House, that Paul Ryan guy
wasn't willing to get behind him.
They're going to get behind him. And here's the best part.
He's going to win. He's going to win.
I'm calling it right now.
You want Hillary? If you want. No, I don't want anybody. I'm calling it right now. Don't say it. Stop. You want Hillary?
No. I don't want
anybody. I wanna go to Canada.
I won't say that.
Why don't you wanna go to Mexico? Wouldn't that be better?
Hey, man.
My dollar would go a lot further.
Actually, no. Canadian
dollar is garbage, too. Canadian is 70 fucking
cents. 70 cents up there.
Living like royalty, man. That's something
Yeah, I just oh he just tweeted. I eating a taco like do you see that tweet today or the Facebook?
So it's just him. Oh my god. He's him in his chair like in his
You know on top of Trump Towers
He goes the best Mexican food is made at here at Trump Towers, and it's him with a taco bowl
But then he just took but then it's him with a taco bowl.
But then it just says, I like Hispanics. That's it.
And he's just eating a taco bowl.
And the best part is that somebody did one of the, you know, everybody's going to pour over it.
He's eating a taco bowl on top of a picture of his ex-wife in a bikini.
Why would he do that?
Yeah, not his current wife.
But it's not like he put it on there and was like, haha, totally.
It's just the corner is sticking out and it's like a high-res photo of her in a magazine, just fucking, you know, in a bikini.
So I'm like, sure.
Well, don't we all have some ex-girlfriend flatware?
That wasn't just sitting there by happenstance.
No, I don't know.
It's just like, oh my god, you came in while I was redoing the albums.
Right?
I'm going to link it.
Tactically.
Best part is it's still up
and he's just happy about it.
I love Spanx.
Alright.
The photo is
on his left hand.
You can see his wife underneath like a pile of newspapers.
I don't see his wife, actually.
Click it.
You got to click it because the bottom gets cut off.
Oh, yeah.
You guys are more knowledgeable politically than me about the outcomes and whatnot.
So from what I understand, on the Republican side, Trump's got it fucking locked up.
It's pretty much endgame.
On the Democrat side, Hillary's pretty much,
unless she gets indicted, got it locked up by numbers.
Does Trump have any chance at all against Hillary Clinton
in, like, a real election?
Yeah.
Because nobody knows what the fuck's going to go on.
Nobody knows what's going to happen.
Taylor, here's the real answer.
The Republicans start at a severe disadvantage.
There's like, I'm making this up, but I'll say there's 20 states that go Democrat and 15 that go Republican and 10 that could go either way.
That doesn't add up to 50, but work with me.
And for the Republicans to take it, they have to flip the coin 10 times and get eight heads.
But can Trump do that? He seems to be the giant slayer so far so it's possible but it's harder for republicans did
somebody hey uh chiz can you link some the first uh oh is that it yeah this is the the map that i
was talking about the first like kind of actually reputable uh like uh map of the US in which way everybody leans and how
likely it is to have one party take each state came out.
And it's something like the amount of the electoral college that heavily favors Democrats
and whatever. It's like a 70, 30% split. I made that up up but it's a very daunting split you know it's not like oh
yeah we'll win one we'll win ohio and it's good like that's not the way it is so uh yeah i'm just
the republicans just win all the states that don't have that many people in them just the more blue
collar agriculture crowd you know yeah i wish that this had the delegate totals in it.
Maybe it does elsewhere.
There is one that does. I don't have it, though.
It has them, but you have to add them yourself
at the bottom. I ain't got time for that.
Yeah, what the hell?
But if you look at that, those yellow
states, how many are there?
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,
9, 10 of them, right?
They need to win, I'm making it up, 7 or 8 of the battlegrounds,
whereas Hillary only needs to pick up like 4.
And that's why...
I just like...
None of that matters.
Oh, let me just throw these numbers out.
Shit.
What are you saying, Kyle?
It doesn't matter because it's Donald Trump that she's running against.
I feel like he's such a wild card.
He does nothing but defy expectations.
I think you just got to start believing.
As Charlie has shown us, wild card isn't always the best option.
Sometimes it's actually, it's like you're sabotaging yourself.
I'm just, I don't know.
I feel like there is a chance't know okay it hasn't gone
that way yet here's what i want to say if you add the solid democrat and lean versus the solid
republican and lean republican in our score that ends at 270 the winner gets 270 the republicans
start down 237 to 191 237 to 191 game ends at to 191. Game ends at 270.
That's why it's hard.
That's what I'm trying to say.
And Hillary just needs to pick up, what is that, another 33 points?
And they need to pick up 79.
Yeah.
And that's why it's harder.
But it's possible because Trump has defied all expectations so far.
You got to realize that as much as people like to point at like, oh, caucuses aren't a good representation of the type of people that are come out and vote or like, oh, primaries aren't very urgent.
And a lot of people don't go and vote in primaries.
And, you know, none of these are indicative of a general election that's going to slide one way or the other.
that's gonna slide one way or the other.
Like, never have we ever had a pretty outside candidate like Bernie Sanders get such a large portion
of one party's vote and be so against
the other person running in their party
that nobody knows what, like, that 70% of his crowd
is gonna do.
Like, I'm sure 30, 40% will just be like,
fuck it, Hillary's better than Trump.
Let's just go for it. It's going to be way more than
30-40%.
There's that wild card.
There's a group of people that are just like
fuck everything. I don't want this.
I'd rather have everything burn and start from the ground up.
The problem is this.
I watched this eight years ago.
Chiz is acting like he knows.
I don't know how old you guys were eight years ago when it was hillary versus obama but that was a much more
bloody battle than the sanders versus hillary thing right yeah they were throwing darts at
each other they were they had their spears out the people who were in hillary's camp were in the never
obama camp and vice versa and then come the general it it's like, alright, as much as I hated Obama.
They were like, I'm not going to be
voting for, was it McCain?
Is that who he beat the first time?
Yeah.
Was it? Anyway.
Yeah, that is right.
They're definitely not voting for McCain, that old
guy, this, that, his problem, that problem.
So the notion that
these guys aren't gonna that
they're gonna jump over to the other side yeah that's not usually what happens and you know to
me like i've seen this before the the bernie people are not as anti-hillary as the hillary
people were against really though yeah i i so maybe not as vocally anti-Hillary, but like there's definitely never been two people running in the same party that are so at odds with each other's stances.
I like it just seems to me like at least the two other elections that I had a reasonable understanding of because I'm not old enough to have that third that Bush you know
Gore shit locked down it just seems like most of the people involved are are very much running the
same platform with a few differences and then you go all right like yeah sure I'll go with this or
I'll go for that it's it's not a big deal but like when you get down to differences between
Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders a lot it seems to me that a lot more issues come to light where they don't mesh than
they do say four years ago or eight years ago when hillary was running against obama while both
different it just seems like that gap is a little bit larger if not way more larger but taylor's
also younger i changed my mind i don. I changed my mind.
I don't want to talk to you anymore.
Tucker, you've been playing some VR games.
Tell me about it.
Yeah, I wanted to hear about that too.
That's politics.
Yeah.
Let me ask you this.
Let me ask you this
because here's my thing.
I like to...
I remember when I wanted to get
my first HD video player
and it was Blu-ray vs. HD DVD.
And I was weighing them, and it seemed like at the time that clearly Blu-ray was going to win,
but HD DVD was so cheap, and it was the same quality, it was like,
ah, maybe I could build a big collection of that.
But that's stupid, of course, in the long run.
So my question to you is, if I want to get into the VR gaming game, as it were, and I just want to buy once, you know what I mean?
What's your saying, Woody, about buying nice instead of twice or some shit?
Buy it nice or buy it twice, right?
Thank you.
Yeah, if I want to do that and I want to get into VR gaming both feet and I don't mind spending a grand or two grand or whatever it costs, what do I want? What's the good thing to get? I got you, man. So I've tried all of the VR systems,
even Oculus Touch, which is not going to be released until Q3 of this year. You follow the
porn, deadass straight, deadass honest, happened with VHS, happened with Blu-ray, it's going to
happen with this. You follow the porn and you go where the porn is being made now
you know if we're not gonna joke about it the vibe is
Every single thing is a different experience to the other you can barely compare the vibe to the oculus
You cannot compare the vibe to literally anything else or the oculus to almost anything else on the market gear VR Google Cardboard
else or the Oculus to almost anything else on the market. Gear VR, Google Cardboard, those are mobile solutions to VR and those are like media consumption tools. Like if
I want to watch a Twitch stream, pop in my gear, pop in my cell phone to my Gear VR and
I'm watching a Twitch stream on the airplane, whatever. Fine. You're not playing games on
that. I don't care who you are. But the Vive and the Oculus, those are the ones that are
like the Xbox PS4. if you are going to buy any
System within the next six to ten months
It's going to be the vibe and you are not even going to have a debate and the reasons are simple
Vibe does roomscale support out of the box which is in my opinion
It does what could you explain what that what is sorry about so?
It does what? Could you explain what that is? Yeah, what is that all about?
So VR is, you know, a lot of people think of it as a gimmick, like 3D.
You put on some goggles and it changes the way you view content and you're like, cool.
And that's really what seated VR experience is.
You feel like you're in the game, but you're stationary.
They're made for you not to move around and just kind of look around.
So it's cool, it's a nice novel experience, but room scale means that it basically maps your play space. The minimum
is a 6x6 foot area and the max is a 10x10 foot area. And it lets you interact with the
virtual environment in that space. You can walk around it, you can, you know, if you're
playing a game, for example, like Hollow Point, which is you have a bow and know if you're playing a game for example like a hollow point
which is you have a bow and arrow and you're just it's a way based game you
can jump around and dodge shit in that area you're not static you're not
sitting down you're interacting and moving around the area and in the most
simple terms I can put it there is not a VR experience that I could give any
shits about unless it's room scale. There are cool experiences that Oculus
has or that you can strap on and watch Twitch, but room scale is like being a part of something,
not bearing witness to it. It's the difference between interacting and just observing. It's
just so unbelievably immersive that every single person, and we put
probably 25 people, uh, Sonya, my girlfriend has a Vive as well as I do. We put probably 25 people
into VR for the first time. Not a single person has gone, you know, like I kind of enjoyed that
sitting down better. Like I really wish they did more with this tech. Like this tech is kind of
underwhelming. Everybody, including my dad, who never has played games before, just
loses their shit. Vive
is that good. I don't think I can name
one early adoption
hardware that is that good.
There's so much stuff like that. Like,
people used to record sound on, like, wax
discs in, like, the 1850s,
and, like, they would have parties where they would go there
and it's like, watch, like, crank this, Susan.
It's like...
And it was like watch but like crank this Susan it's like
It was like oh my god. This is the fucking future recording tunes on wax my god
This is just the new thing like
Interesting that we're living in like now people are gonna look back and be like what how rudimentary that is it's fine
It's like in it's not computational power So the big thing is that Vive and Oculus, you need a gaming PC.
You don't need a PC that plays games.
You need a bitchin' $1,500, $2,000 gaming PC 980 graphics card.
That's what you need.
But the biggest thing outside of that is just the lenses.
Lens tech and screen tech, you've seen how cell phones went from four years ago,
we got 720p screens, we're like, fuck yeah, now it's like 4K or bust.
Lens tech is the, you know, it seems like the biggest thing that's the biggest drawback because it does not take away from the experience at all.
But when you first put it on, if you're trying to read text, you get this thing called a screen door effect, which it kind of looks like you're looking through a screen door.
You can see the pixels and it makes it hard to read text or anything.
You see that on, like, stadium TVs, too, because the pixels are too big.
Yeah, exactly.
That's exactly what it is.
So if you're at a baseball game and you're looking at the Jumbotron too close.
So as soon as I get rid of that, like, my stream output looks fucking great.
It's 1080p.
It looks crisp.
But, like, my view.
You can see it a
bit you can see it if you try okay I've been writing down questions can you wear
glasses under your VR girls not with the oculus yes good the vive we had so two
nights ago we had a party we just set up a room for our VR that's a good friend
yeah from all in for I don't wear glasses,
but from all the reviews that have come out,
Oculus is uncomfortable to wear
or unbearable to wear with glasses,
depending on how big or thick-rimmed those glasses are.
Vive, you can adjust
the distance
between your eyes and the screen.
So even if you have these Coke-rimmed glasses,
you can just put it on just fine.
Or these big sunglasses, it's fine fine so that's a good question but the vibe's the only one that does that
comfortably right now does anyone want to go before me yes okay so we talked about like a
two thousand dollar gaming pc does my experience change if i get a three thousand dollar gaming pc
instead no uh currently all right. Yeah, go.
I know that.
So what is my total cost?
If you were to sit to...
If I were to say to you,
all right, put me a package together,
I won't do that because that's troublesome.
But if I were to say that to you and you were willing,
what would the package include?
Ground up to get into the VR game
and to play the coolest...
And my next question is, what's the coolest thing to play on there?
What really benefits from the VR tech?
Alright, so, ground up, assuming you have nothing, not even monitors,
about $1,700. If you have monitors, keyboard, you know, you have a...
$1,700 for the computer alone, sorry. If you have monitors and keyboard, $1,500, sure.
Vive is $800, tax isn't included, so like $880 max.
So we're looking at about $2,500 to $2,800
for what you're gonna want for the best possible experience.
You can go bigger, you can go smaller, but I mean.
And then to answer your question what's cool,
the reason I say that is because there's not really
any AAA games that are gonna be
like crisis right
there's not like a crisis for the vibe yet
that's gonna be like pushing your computer to the fucking
max
but the coolest games there's
I find are a lot of
arcade games ones that I can hop into
for like 15 minutes when I'm just like
I'm waiting for a video to render I'll just pop it in and I'll play a couple
games and I'll dip out. There are long tail games called like The Gallery which
is a really cool kind of like detective thing you got to walk around pick up
look through things look underneath things try and find clues for something
really beautiful game but like shit like Audio Shield which is just like audio
surf where you just block beat beats
kind of like guitar hero except you're just punching them in VR space
that's fucking awesome yeah and it's simple fun it's like it takes no effort
you get in orange blue block orange and blue but like it's it's just so
impossible to understand until you're in the experience
I want I'm going to do this and I'll you why. It's what you said about your dad really
liking it. I want to show this to my dad,
because I feel like it'll blow his fucking mind,
and I want to see his reaction to it.
Because, like, he
never liked video games. He's
always hated my video games, and
you can't even get him to sit there for more than 30 seconds.
So, I think if I... I'll take
the whole rig over to his fucking farm
and, like, plug all this shit in and buckle him up and blow his mind. I think that I like I'll take the whole rig over to his fucking farm and like like plug all this
shit in and buckle him up and then and blow his mind I think that'd be fun I gotta yeah I think
I'm gonna get on board you would suddenly like virtual reality that just strikes me as something
that older people are gonna be like just like you ever tried to get someone who's older who
didn't play video games when they're growing up and they just can't for the life of them figure
out how to move both at the same time. It's difficult. Oh, yes.
Like, is this going to be something that if you're older, is it just like you put it on,
and you're like, oh, I have a headache.
I can't handle this.
No, no.
I mean, and the only reason I'm saying this is because, one, I get horrible motion sickness.
That's always a question.
I get, I can't sit in the backseat of a car, all right?
So, and I can't go.
Convenient.
Yeah, convenient.
Give me that shotgun.
But my dad is like that.
I know one of you people.
My dad's like this stoic businessman.
I simply can't.
Actually, that's me that Kyle might be talking about.
I get seasick, carsick, and airsick, and it's one of the questions I've been waiting to ask.
Like, am I going to get VR sick?
I don't understand this bullshit.
First of all when i
do get sick you just fucking get it over with you vomit get it all out of your system
i wish that worked i like after you throw up in your motion sickness unless you're
out of the motion you're still sick it's awful yeah it's not like hangovers yeah or like it like
i've had fevers where i get sick and then after after I throw up, it's like, wow, I think I just got cured.
Motion sickness is cured when you land.
When you were on that fishing trip and you were so sick, did you ever consider getting in the water?
Yes, I did.
I mean, it's risky because we're trolling, right?
So there's like 18 lines just behind the boat all dragging.
Like I would just get shredded right
but i was like man i feel like that would cure me if i could just like limp to the edge and fall
over but um you were the sick thing so right uh i've played two games that have given me motion
sickness one's elite dangerous it's a seated uh seated experience it looks gorgeous but you're
piloting a spaceship in
zero Gs, so I'm sitting
there and all of a sudden I do a backflip
and I'm just like, no, we're done with that.
It's not good.
That sounds like so much fun. Did you say that you
were prone to it a little bit, like
close to me? I am
probably the same. I'm very
prone to it. That said, the
only other games that I
can find a correlation between me getting sick are games that you are not directly in
control of your body. Like, your body and your head are one. So if I'm looking this
way and I'm walking this way, I'm going to start feeling sick. Like, that's uncomfortable
to me, and it's uncomfortable to a lot of people. But there have been there have been wait hold on if you look this way and you start walking backwards say
you're playing counter-strike right so say you're playing like or call duty in vr so you're sitting
at your keyboard or your xbox right and you're running and you're running and you're shooting
and you look to the left and your whole curse your cursor does not move your cursor still pointed straight your head your cameras facing this way
And but then you start strafing to the right so the game thinks you're facing this way
You're moving this way and your head is facing this way. It's like it's just it feels like I don't really know how to explain it
It just takes your money control
Sounds like if you're if you're shotgun like in the literal sense
right?
Like on a stagecoach
shotgun in a game
I can imagine that
sort of thing
you know where you're
just traveling through
the fields
might get you sick.
No?
If you don't have
control over your movement
if you're riding like
a ride
if you're like on a
rail system
or something
if you're on a
rail system shooter
that's not so bad
but as soon as you
like start moving
yourself and you're and it's kind of, that's not so bad, but as soon as you start moving yourself,
and you're, and it's kind of like a disconnect. If you take a step, and you're on a rail system,
and you move, and your character doesn't move, that disconnect sets you off.
Like, not even just me, there have been several people that are like,
you know, I don't get motion sickness, you put them in there, and they're just like, I can't do this.
But on the other side... Yeah, your brain can't justify that that just happened,
because your brain is perceiving
that you're not just sitting still, your brain is perceiving that you're like going on a
path but it also just told your entire body to make a movement and it's fucking your wiring
up.
And I would say that it wouldn't be that bad but this is a, we're talking about an experience
where on stream, like several times on stream, i've tried to lean or put something on a vr table or i've tried to lean on a wall and
i've straight fallen over because that you you just accept it as reality it's that's you know
one of the cool things it's really cool i've got so have you gotten any of the pornographic uh
accessories to this thing now oh accessories no i don't have like a pocket pussy that fucks me along
with like a... No, no, you just
use your hand. Like a simple man
with simple VR technology.
Listen. We all have sex robots
around here. We do.
You have the blowjob robot.
We all got one.
We all got one.
Well, Taylor never got his.
Poor guy. I think he's lying.
I think his brother swooped in there and made off with his blowjob machine.
Yeah, that's going to be a confession.
And if I'm on my deathbed and he's going to come up to me,
I just had to let you know.
You did get that machine.
I don't think you want it now, though.
It's been years.
I can really quick.
The skinny on VR porn is it's not good enough.
It just everybody looks like you're fucking a 30 foot tall woman.
Like they don't have it.
The perspective on a 360 video is different than a perspective of a game made for VR.
So like that lady who's
riding me, I'm looking, I'm like this.
I'm like, what the fuck is this, you know,
Amazonian goddess doing on me?
And then it's like, that's not, yeah, alright,
maybe it is. But then you gotta, like, beat it
in time with it, and that just breaks the,
you know, emergence. It's just not that great.
I'm waiting for the next-gen VR.
We'll get there, you know. We're just
getting started with the VR form. We'll get some side hits know we're just we're just getting started with a VR porn
We'll get some some I hope I hope eventual how does I want an attachment that like comes out like a boom arm like this?
As I'm over here just like
Are these are these VR goggles also a headset?
Are these VR goggles also a headset?
Seems like part of virtual reality is sound.
Like you have the 3D sound coming in.
So no, only Oculus has built-in headphones.
And they're like the headphones you get with your cell phone.
I mean, they all have headphone ports.
So you just plug it in.
Like I use these headphones. I just plug it in and put it over top of the headset and then it's fine um but okay huh you think they should someone could not like
because audio is a huge part of the experience big you guys are all kind of hip to it but a lot
of people don't get that audio is every bit as important as video i'm surprised someone hasn't
made like a whole freaking vr half helmet thing. What more do they need than 7.1 surround though?
Well, it sounds to me like you supply your own headset and they just do, it's like a
monitor.
They ship with a headset, it's just not the greatest headset.
Like I mean, anybody who has Apple earbuds, you know, and is acceptable or thinks that's
acceptable quality, they're never gonna complain.
But if you're somebody who's gonna buy the Vive anyways there's an $800 plus accessories system even the oculus is
600 bucks like we're not talking about Jimmy's mom going out to the store like
with an oculus like hair Jimmy like we're talking about people that
understand you know if you want to upgrade your your your audio you're just
gonna get a better headset it's not I don't know I don't think it audio
definitely helps but it's not, the lack of inclusion
is not pivotal to like the success or failure.
Maybe I need to see it.
I just, in my head, I feel like the...
This is the Vive.
The form factor of like being on top of your head
and inside of your head.
Why don't I just put it on, you know?
Yeah.
I can just do that.
All right, I can't hear you guys,
but you know, here's mean I can't hear you guys but um you know here's a
here's the five cables that come out or three cables I guess and here's the
audio cable this you just plug this in so in order to put it on you just
literally do this and then you stretch it over your head and I'm done and then
where's my headset and now I look like a praying mantis or whatever.
So, I mean, it just fits on fine.
I see better now.
Now, hang on.
I have a question.
While you're in there, while you're in that virtual world,
do you ever have the fear that someone's going to come up behind you and slit your throat?
Like, specifically slit my throat?
Constantly, I bet.
For ever more, I want you to think when you're in that virtual world,
riding a roller coaster,
popping little bubbles or balloons,
or dodging throwing knives
that some guy could have broken into
your apartment. He's already dealt with whoever he
encountered first, and he's just watching you
laughing while he brings
the straight razor closer and closer to your jugular.
Would you ever wear
a VR headset in an Airbnb,
Kyle? Jesus, no.
Let me tell you, I am so freaked out to be wearing this headset in an Airbnb.
Like, I'm honestly gonna get up and go check the door to make sure it's locked because
when I brought that pizza in earlier, I'm not positive that I locked it and I gots to
know.
I gots to know.
I gots to know.
When I came in here originally, I had my movie makeup on, and it's this scar.
It's this pretty wicked scar that goes up to my eyelash and down my face because I'm some sort of villain.
I'm going to this scary, dark hallway that's completely unlit.
I see this black guy, and I'm kind of worried about him.
I realize, though although that he's
worried about me he's like hey man everything cool and i'm like yeah everything's cool yeah
i just keep on walking and i'm like he was afraid of me this scar's badass i look i like super
hardcore with the with the scar i i try to wear my glasses when i interact with normal people
but like everybody that sees me they they're staring at my scar.
I'm starting to feel self-conscious about my fake scar.
I'm trying to hide it and point my head away and stuff,
worried somebody's going to see my fake fucking scar.
Fake scar, but real shame.
Yes, it absolutely is.
I feel bad about it.
Maybe what he was doing is,
you're thinking that guy was like,
man, that dude is scary as fuck.
What if it is LA,
just right around the corner of the hallway, some dude up as like the alien for a shoot it was just incredible
makeup and he was just like god damn and then he sees you and he's oh hello sir like back on the
vr thing back on the vr thing so hold on a second tucker i i've got this i like entrepreneurs and
always have is part of your motivation for doing the VR thing
to like own the space while it's new?
You know, like a lot of guys that got into YouTube in 2008
or got into Twitch in 2000, I don't know, 13 or something.
Yeah, 2011.
Yeah, so I would be lying to you if I said
that that wasn't part of the exciting part of making content.
Right, right.
So I got a developer unit so i've been able to make content months before
other people have been able to get it like even now only you know insert number 5 000 people in
the world have a vibe because of whatever um that said i i've i've said it before i've never felt
this engrossed in new technology in my life.
Like, this is Ready Player One.
This is, you know, when they pull up a holodeck and they're like,
yeah, here, here, and here.
You can do that, and it looks just every bit as cool as it is in the movies.
And, yeah, it's awesome that I get to be, like, part of this pioneering group of people
that get to try, first adopt this VR stuff.
But, like, the main goal is
just to fucking
experience everything. And, yeah, of course
I email every dev that has a game on
Reddit, and I'm like, please, send me a link
to your game so I can play it.
That's a win-win, by the way.
It is. It is. And that's why...
I'm sure they're more than happy to do that.
Yes, they are. And they're all
great people, because they're all... happy to do that. Yes, they are. And they're all great people because they're all, there's not, you know,
Activision hasn't made a VR title yet.
It's all indie devs or smaller dev teams that are making these titles.
So, yeah, I'd love to own the space.
I'd love to make some shit.
You could.
I've definitely been trying to work with some studios.
The head of animation at DreamWorks a vr studio that they're working on doing a
program for streaming in vr that allows you to kind of imagine mounting a 360 camera on your
head so instead of watching somebody from their perspective you get to watch it from whatever
perspective you want you know you're it's it's streaming for people who have a vr headset or a
you know a mobile device kind of like 360 videos are right now.
You decide where you're looking, not the person with the camera.
So shit like that is super exciting to me.
Yeah.
Because it is the future.
And it doesn't bother me one bit.
Not one.
I can't.
Zero doesn't seem to fully understand.
It's okay to have a business motive.
If there was none maybe you the content
wouldn't be as good you know if there was nothing in it for you if it was just a hobby passion thing
then that wouldn't be one motivator you know i wouldn't have turned my entire uh so we have a
extra bedroom in this home we're at i wouldn't have we literally green screen the entire room
got a new pc a full setup so we could stream it like i wouldn't be able we literally green screened the entire room, got a new PC, a full setup
so we could stream it.
Like, I wouldn't be able to do that nor justify it if it was just, yeah, I want to have a
VR area and play space.
Like, that is business motivated.
That also helps my experience in VR anyways.
Like, you know, business doesn't have to be the sole motivator.
It definitely helps in some cases.
So I agree with you.
Yeah, it's extra motivation. I think YouTube videos have gotten better in the last five years you know
you compare 100 like the current vloggers out there like i keep talking about casey as if he's
the only successful vlogger but he's the best though i think he is but i'm telling you casey
probably wouldn't do this every day or couldn't do this every day if he was if it wasn't profitable
for him and you know he makes daily videos and i know how long they take to edit it's like for me i spend one to two hours
editing my videos and um uh you know like you can't do that if they don't make money so you
have to spend time on things that do true yeah so uh anyway i would just want i was like i he might
be seeing an opportunity and And I like that.
I do see an opportunity, 100%.
I mean, if I can, before we move on to VR,
if there's one thing that I've said hundreds of times,
as soon as you put on the headset
and you get involved for your first VR experience
and you get off and you start,
you're going to go home and you start thinking about it
and you're like, fuck.
Like, VR is so much more than just gaming. It's not like
we've got, you know, it's not like we're
getting an Xbox here. Like, this is
VR in a sense that you
could send this and help.
Example, there's a gun range
program, realistic, so in order to load
that M4, you have to physically grab the mag,
load it, you have to, you know, clear the
chamber, you have to take it off
of safety, you have to, you know, do all this stuff, stuff and then when you unload the mag i was talking about it in the video
i was like yeah this could be great to show people gun safety and basic rules of guns without taking
them on a live you know range and as i said that i pulled the trigger without clearing the chamber
and i shot like the the table and i was oh, fuck. That could have been somebody dead right there
because I'm an idiot.
So from anatomy to whatever it is,
there's just more applications outside of gaming
that VR is almost certainly going to be bigger in
than gaming itself.
So here's what I want to know.
So what I'm obsessed with right now is RTS games.
We've been playing a game called Age of Mythology a lot.
It's an older game,
much like Age of Empires, but fun.
And we've been playing, most recently,
Company of Heroes 2,
the World War II RTS,
which is super combat-focused
and not so much focused on macro stuff
and getting economies up and running.
It's really just about coordinating
mixed-unit packages and fighting.
And gaining the domination flags
and cod. That sort of game type
seems to be the only one.
And I'm really enjoying it, but what would be cool
is if I had the ability
to go in and actually be floating
above the battlefield
and flying around
and overseeing all my stuff and being
able to touch the stuff and make it do what I wanted to do.
Who knows?
Like if this hand would select units and this hand would tell them what to do, and I could just be like, you, attack.
Yeah, yeah, you attack there, yeah.
And then when, you know, in Age of Mythology, you literally are Zeus, so there's a power where you get one thunderbolt that'll kill anything,
and you get to use it once, and it would be like...
Yeah, that would be so...
I just imagine watching someone play
a game like that from the outside,
and just... You'd look like such
a maniac over there.
You look like an idiot. You do.
So silly.
But it's insane.
But it's great.
Like, that, the RTS stuff is one of the things I'm like, this is fucking sick.
Valve made a Dota 2 spectator thing for VR specifically where it has, like, a mini map overlay so you can get up and, like, look at where everybody is and what they're doing.
And then you can look over here to the scoreboard and it pops up with all the stats and shit.
And then they've got the game on this, like, IMAX screen.
Like, there's probably already an RTS game like that that, you know, for a car.
Well, I'm down. I'm pretty serious about getting into this.
If I can get it done, I've already got a monitor, keyboard, mice.
I've got enough. I could probably, like, cannibalize my current PC for a good bit of, you bit of hardware and get into that thing for probably under two grand.
So I think I'm going to do it.
A hundred percent.
You should.
You should.
If not for content, just for yourself.
I'm pretty certain you're not going to be.
You're not going to regret it.
Yeah.
I want to play.
I feel like it'd be so much fun to just chill out and do.
I feel like anything and everything would be cool.
Even if it were just a menu system and you're like setting the thing up in VR I
feel like that's fun it's like yeah I use my desktop I use my desktop in VR
it's literally I have three screens right in front of me fuck it gonna use
it in VR cuz it's just it's cooler I don't know what you want from me it's
pretty neat yeah is there now is there any is there any way to have input from your phone?
Let's say I'm in-game.
Can my phone...
And I see that Jim's calling me.
And then I fucking give Jim the finger and it hangs up on him.
Can I make that happen?
I don't know.
Give him the finger.
That's a great idea.
Let me give him a thumbs up or a thumbs down.
That'd be great.
If you're just like... And it's all rejected i would love that if that's not a feature it should
be make that hand hand hand controls would be sick vibe ships with uh phone support so if you
get a phone call you can just take the call in in or a text you can just take the text and respond
to it in vr like they already thought of that but but no thumbs support. How do you respond in VR? What do you do?
It's a built-in mic, or you
can text from inside
on the VR menu, but it has
a built-in mic and camera, so you
can talk and
shit. Sounds really
cool. I think I really am going to get on board
with this. But I don't want
to distract from my RTS habit, because
that's a full-time session. We're having RTS habit because that's a full-time...
We're having a good time. That's a full-time session.
I love it. I really do. I
like getting together, especially when Shiz
plays with us. He rarely does because he's got to stick
up his ass. I think he thinks he's better than us.
He played today. All he ever
talks about is how much money
that he's taken from those fat cats
on the stock market and then pumping right
to the Sanders campaign.
I don't know what he called it. some sort of a shit loop or something.
I don't know.
Shit loop.
That's all he ever talks about is Sanders, the campaign,
and how he's finding ways to get multiple people under his umbrella.
Because he can only donate a certain amount of money.
He's donating in his mother's name and his father's name just anybody and
everybody can get a hold of he asked me he asked me if he could donate if I could
if he could donate like $2,300 in my name or something I was a fuck no
absolutely not I will sue you if you do that yep he's asked us all and you just
have to be steadfast you know it's lost cause, Chiz. It's over.
I'm sorry.
It's over.
You need to give that up and get more time into Company of Heroes and Age of Mythology.
So you can catch up.
I want to hear more about our advertisers, our sponsors.
Well, which one in particular would you like to hear about, Woody?
Tracker would do.
The next one.
What was that? Tracker, I. The next one. What was that?
Tracker, I said.
Which one?
If you want me to pick one.
Oh, all right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm going to bump Tracker up to the front of the roster here.
He was number five, but he's coming up first.
All right.
He's the highest in the picture.
That's why I picked him.
Uh-huh.
Smart cars, smart phones, smart homes. Technology has made everything smart, but when you lose those smart cars, smart phones, smart homes
technology has made everything smart
but when you lose those smart things
it can make you feel really stupid
I think we've all lost things before
I get absolutely infuriated when I lose shit
I really do
I can lose my shit
and that's the one thing
that's one of the things that will send me
into an actual rage where I'll just get red-faced and be breathing heavily.
And everybody around me is like, let's just leave Kyle alone right now.
He's in a bad mood.
It's when I lose my wallet or my keys or something like that.
And since I got that tracker, I hooked it up to my big keychain.
And I haven't lost shit.
I love it.
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Now, what kind of messages are slipping me over here?
So the tracker thing interests me,
not only as a tool, but as a business.
I feel like this is a billion dollar idea,
like find your phone, find your keys,
link them together, et cetera.
I saw some wallet company that did the exact same thing. And I was like,
oh, Tracker's got some competition.
It turns out that this wallet company
just sewed a tracker
into the wallet. That was
their innovation. They got a tracker
and then now the wallet finds your keys
or finds your phone. I was like, that's clever.
Tracker's getting some credit for this, right?
TheTracker.com. It's
T-H-E Tracker.com. Which is why they say the hardest thing you'll have to find is their website. Because you think this right the tracker.com it's t-h-e tracker.com
which is why they say the hardest thing you'll have to find is their website because you think
it's tracker.com it's the tracker and it's there's no e she's just wrote it wrong in the chat um
but uh uh he says there is an e no no i don't think so he's he says there is an e it'll be
right in the description it'll be right in the description.
It'll be right in the description.
Dude, look at your image, Chiz.
Probably not the time.
Yeah.
Probably not.
There is no E.
While we're hassling Chiz over typos,
let me tell everyone about Audible. This episode of PKA is also being brought to you by Audible.
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It's really great because that's super annoying.
If you get mixed up, if you do what
Merkaderka over there did and you
listen to a whole Game of Thrones book on shuffle,
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Our audiobook that we're recommending is, of course,
Game of Thrones.
What better
to get and catch up on than Game of Thrones?
As it's coming out
every week and just blowing us the fuck away.
Yes, a song of ice and fire.
Cheers. Thank you.
I have really been enjoying this season of
Game of Thrones.
I know the first episode
was kind of a glorified
catch-you-up kind of thing, but
all the stories moved forward at least an inch,
sometimes three inches, and that was good enough.
I missed them.
These were my friends, and they'd been away for a year,
and I didn't need them to go on an adventure right away.
I just wanted to touch base.
You just wanted to check up.
I wanted to touch base with them,
see if anybody aged poorly in the last year.
So I brand-clearly turned into a Jew.
We can all see that.
I don't know what happened there. poor casting that does not look like that
Are we still in the ad read? I'm a little confused.
No that's going to Audible.
That doesn't mean you should check out Audible. They are not anti-semitic at all
unlike Woody over there. Of course it's me to get in at least one one Jew remark in every show
it's in my contract. I have no choice.
I apologize profusely.
But yeah, I've been loving it so far.
The second episode in particular I liked a lot.
I'm pumped for episode three.
Spoiler alert, if you haven't seen episode two of Game of Thrones,
you've got like three seconds before I'm going to spoil some shit.
Wait, we need to make sure.
Tucker, have you seen it?
I don't watch Game of Thrones.
Oh, and I want to say one more thing.
We usually get the
timeline and the description
pretty quickly on these things, so if you want to avoid
a spoiler, you can probably just click and go.
You know where to go.
Yeah, if there are any further spoilings,
check the description for warnings on those.
But, Jon Snow fucking
coming back at the last second. And you knew
it was going to happen, but there was a little doubt. doubt there was a little doubt and I was watching with baited breath
Watching just to see him move or move a little or just just do anything a twitch
I just kept imagining that that scenario with the with the onion night and
And the the giant slayer guy like haul him around like weekend at Bernie's from that meme and Jon Snow's got the glasses.
I was hoping that was going to happen.
Maybe a little bit like Carrie Ewells in Princess Bride.
He's completely powerless,
so they're just kind of propping him up
and he just runs his mouth to get shit done.
I thought that would have been cool.
If Jon Snow all of a sudden has to use his wits
instead of his brawn to make them do what he says
because he's kind of fucked up when he comes back.
But what it reminded me the most of when he came back
was Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
In between seasons, she died one season.
At the end of season two, three, something like that,
she legit dies and they bury her,
but then she comes back to life alone and buried alive
and has to like burrow out
and that fucks her head all up so I'm hoping that
Jon Snow being there waking up
alone and confused it doesn't mess his
head up cause I don't want to spend a whole episode
with him like recuperating
or like doing like a montage
of hacking up like
wooden men and like learning
to shoot the bow again
no he should come back and he should be like Neo from Matrix between wooden men and like learning to shoot the bow again. No. Oh my god, that would be so painful.
He should come back and he should be like Neo from Matrix between, you know,
before and after the hallway scene. All of a sudden he should draw his sword and when he looks at it,
it's on fire. Like, and only he can see the flames and he's just like,
what the fuck? And he puts it down and it goes out and he picks it up again and it's on fire again.
It comes back to him like a Jedi.
Wields the sword.
I will sign off on Jedi powers.
I will be okay with that.
I'm up for Jedi powers. I'm up for
levitation.
You're doing what Call of Duty did.
And you're ruining it.
Imagine that.
You know what Jon Snow needs to do? He needs to
air boost over the giant
snort of the wall!
You just see Jon Snow
full trench coat. He should be Legolos.
He's got the full trench coat with the wolf pelt on
and he's just walking slow
up to like, what would the Game of Thrones equivalent
of a telephone booth be?
It'd be the Ravens, right? Like he's walking up there and he's like
da-na-na-na-na, da-na-na-na-na
da-na-na-na-na na da na na na na na na na
as he like writes on a scrawl
and puts it on the crow and it's like
like at the end of the matrix when he's warning
the agents that he's coming or whatever
I would love it if there was a mega Jon Snow
super Jon Snow I'm okay if he flies like
Superman I really am I don't care anymore
I don't give a fuck
I don't know if I could go sign a map
you have to.
This is my story I'm writing.
I'm on my own right now.
What I also really enjoyed,
and it goes back to,
I don't remember what that video is,
but it was from College Humor,
and it was like all the things you wish would happen
in Game of Thrones,
and it was animated,
and it was back when Joffrey was still on the show.
And it's like, Joffrey, get like burns alive.
Like all of a sudden,
the Khaleesi is topless on a dragon
and Tyrion is on a dragon
and they've all got wildfire pistols
and they're all burning the worst people.
And Jaime Lannister is like, oh, and I'm good now.
It's like all the things that you really, really wish would happen
but never will.
And I think my version of that almost came true a little
when Tyrion's down there taking the shackles off that dragon
and he's telling the story about when he was a little boy
and he told his uncle that he wanted a dragon
and he told him there were no more dragons
and how he cried terribly.
I wouldn't need a big dragon.
A little one would do.
And he's just like fucking taking the shackle off and the dragon's like.
Instead of like chomp, chomp, chomp.
The dragon's like kind of feeling him out a little.
And the other dragon's like, all right, yeah, hook me up too, bro.
And I'm like, if next episode doesn't begin with him like shit face drunk on the back of a dragon flying through the clouds just like
laughing his ass off i'm gonna be a little disappointed because that's what i want oh
you know what i want i would like to see him become the actual ruler of that city like he's
kind of doing it now in denarius's place place. I would like the Sons of the
Harpies to be like, you know what?
Never mind. This is
actually really good leadership.
The trash is
taken out. The streets are clean. This city
is really operating like a
finely oiled machine.
We're good here.
It is in shit shape.
After Daenerys did more bad things for that city than
any of those slavers she just shows up on a moral crusade and is like i don't like any of this and
it's going to change and everybody's like all right and so they change she murders all the
slavers and whatnot creates a huge power vacuum in this city that had been filled by slaves because
that's where all the the industry. And then she just fucking leaves.
And then like, I don't know, five episodes later
now, the reporter... She's Daenerys
W. Bush in Iraq.
Yeah, you know all those places that you
conquered a couple weeks ago? Yeah.
Well, we're not there anymore and so it's a fucking disaster.
And it's your fault.
So, what are you going to do?
She's the worst. She's a terrible leader.
They should have raped her good in the first episode of the season.
At the end of last season, I was like, if she doesn't get raped good,
I'm going to completely check out of her story because it's unrealistic
that the hottest fucking woman on the planet gets captured by the barbarian horsemen
and they ask questions before they fuck her.
When would that ever happen?
They'd be like, oh shit, it's the
hottest woman in the world
and we just caught her.
Hey, other barbarian horse masters,
what should we do?
They were talking about
angrily raping her in the show, right?
They talked about it.
Who talks? These are men of
action. That's what
the Dothraki are known for their great talking about my skills
no I can't love and white killing rate
yeah I and look I'm not pro rape I don't
want to see her raped I don't want them
but don't know I don't I really don't I
just you did say yeah I want to see her
rate we need to roll back the tape on
this no let me explain let me explain that position because if I don't want to see her rape. Do we need to roll back the tape on this? No, no, no.
Let me explain.
Let me explain that position.
Because I don't want to see her rape.
But once they put her in a position in which it's logical for her to be raped,
then if she doesn't get raped, I'm disappointed because they've let me down.
It's not that I enjoy the rape.
It's that, well, you put her in a position where logically she should be raped. So you just went on an illogical turn and sort of
lowered my opinion of your show.
It's like when the cliffhanger is the car
in midair having driven out of the parking
garage, right? If the
next thing starts with it on the platform
and everything's cool again, no.
It had to crash.
It was in a position where crashing was the only
option. The only thing I can
think of is that, like,
to Thraki people like that, for all they know,
they could see her and think something like,
oh, that's a demon.
I know because of her hair.
Like, I've heard the stories.
This fucking bitch.
Like, that could be a thing.
But also, more realistically, it does seem like,
you know, season one,
they came off as a very rapey group of people.
And now to suddenly see this other group
not be rapey at all,
like cracking jokes about how Daenerys needed sunscreen when they were riding back.
It's like, what is this?
Like fucking Frasier?
Or are you like rapist cattle drive?
Like what is going on here?
Like it just, it was really.
They literally did crack jokes about sunscreen.
They can't have them rape like just anyone.
All like every time a woman comes up to talk to them
solo, they can't be like, well, you know,
in real life, they would fucking rape her. You can't do that
because then they're...
You can't move the story forward with that.
You can't just keep coming back like, this time,
they're going to hear me out.
It's not that they rape every woman they see, but when they
conquer or capture something...
No, no, no. When they conquer or capture
something, then yes yes but if it's
another Dothraki woman a woman that
there are like laws for respecting
her like or whatever they're not just
raping their own people they feel like
remember they were talking about the lamb men
like they felt like
the lamb men were like a lower race of people
and the lamb men weren't like a different race of people
necessarily they were just people who herded lambs
instead of being fucking horse lords or whatever the hell
act they're super rapey people when they conquer capture something they're taking
possession of it and they just see that yeah i i i i i rate this because i
captured it
they would totally rate her in a logical
world and and and they didn't so i'm just wondering why that i don't like it
and i don't like that actress either
uh... i don't like that she's not
topless anymore. I mean, a big part of the book is
that her titty is literally hanging out all the time.
They mention it all the time.
They talk about how, what's his name,
Jorah, was distracted.
And imagine how great that
would be if we had Jorah
trying not to look at the titty.
Imagine those tense
conversations they have when he's like, Michaelese,
I love you.
He's trying to, like, explain to her that he's so
sorry for what he's done, but
he can't.
If every scene with every guy
because it's always out.
Every scene with every guy for six years
was them, like, subtly breaking eye contact.
Yeah, and, like, she's eating
and, like, dribbles something on her titty and he's like,
Oh, you've got some raspberry jam
on your titty.
You're a keeks.
I don't like that old fucking maester.
You know, she did have a boob out all book long.
I kind of feel like that would make
the thing better.
I don't like it all because it's like
I would prefer no boobs out to
one out. I want a little bit of symmetry.
Not this toga
look, you know? That's almost...
I love it. That's more of a tease than anything.
I feel like the more boobs, the better.
At least then you get an honest
nipple appraisal up front.
An honest nipple
appraisal. Yes.
Yeah, a nice nap I
Don't like that she's refused to do any more nudity because it takes away from the show
it's clear to me that they're shooting around that and that we're not seeing what we would normally be seeing and
Any nudity was was a big part of the show initially and sort of remains a big part of the show
But not with our main characters, and that's one of the a big part of the show initially and sort of remains a big part of the show, but not with our main characters,
and that's one of the things I appreciate about the show.
I'm not like, yeah, show me your titties again.
Like, I know where they are.
They're on the fucking internet anytime I want to see them.
It's about the continuity of the show.
It's about keeping the show at that top tier of reality in my head.
This reality meets fantasy mix
where, like, things don't go the way you think they are.
It's kind of shitty like real life is sometimes and sometimes it just hurts because life hurts people don't want like
rape in the show like if there was another brutal rape scene in this episode after that
two episodes ago last season i'd kind of just be like like really like i i get upset at little
scenes in game of thrones more than other shows think, because I always am anal about like,
man,
they could have spent that time like with Aria,
like God,
if they had had 40 more seconds with Aria,
they really could have got through to something.
And I know that they're not going to make up for that 40 seconds next episode.
You know,
they're not going to just start the story again.
It's something they could have had.
It's funny.
The show's an hour long yet.
I always find myself screaming like,
man,
if there were just 45 more seconds of this,
how can,
like,
where is all this time going? Like that're just using not advancing the plot line not doing
anything cool the show lasts for an hour there's a lot of stories so many stories when you hit seven
stories you've only got like eight minutes per story or something or less than you got seven
minutes seven stories times seven minutes is 49 minutes you know you can only advance yay far unless you kill people
off and that's what's beautiful about the show and what i hate hate hate that they've done
is all of dorn let me tell you why because if you cut dorn out then all of a sudden everybody
else gets 10 or 12 minutes you could do five stories 12 you know 11 minutes each stories
really well instead of six or seven stories.
Too much bullshit going on, and
whoever's running the crew that's
in wherever the hell
Dorne is, it's not
at that same quality
as the rest of the show. There's definitely
a disparity there. It's the B team,
and it shows for sure.
I don't like anything about Dorne.
I'm very excited about the show, though.
I'm digging the mountain.
I was looking at my girlfriend, and I was like,
I hope the mountain does something.
Before the show, I'll tell her all the things
that I think will happen and could happen.
I ran through eight different scenarios with Jon Snow.
I was like, it could happen like this, this, this, and this,
and this, this, and that.
And one of my eight was exactly what happened.
I knew what would happen but i when i and before the show one of the things i was saying
was like i need the mountain to do a thing i need the mountain to smush something or crush something
or or like just get that big fucking eight foot sword out do a thing and he did i liked that he
smashed that fucking guy's head and just killed him like
a bug um i liked it a lot yeah i i'm i'm into this season i'm looking forward to episode three a lot
i gotta find a way to make hbo happen on my laptop i guess in this fucking slum hole
oh that's quality all right so we should probably step away from Game of Thrones,
unless one of you has something that you want to...
I think we should step away, because Tucker is bored to tears.
He does not know what's going on.
I like to think that just hearing all of this come out of us,
he's just intrigued.
Like, what are they even talking about?
This show sounds bonkers.
No, no.
It's more like when you guys talk about what level tractors
and, you know, trucks you own, and it's just like, oh my god
how can there be this many types of boring things
It's 55 horsepower, Chiz
You gotta get on board that
Do you mean RTS talk?
That we do for 20 minutes a show
and Painkiller nearly
Let's talk about 16 year old video games
Let's do that again
I'm down to talk about the dwarves for 20 20 30
minutes at least let's talk about some dwarven lore who's up for dwarven lore oh my god well
you know it really hit its stride the dwarves when durin the third led the other seven to get their
rings forged by the elves that of course sauron conscripted in the first place the devious
mastermind that he was the deceiver that
sauron the deceiver yeah you don't just get handed that nickname you know they don't they don't write
that under your high school picture you know you know like steve the deceiver smith there was a vote
uh more was it morgoth uh he bestowed that to him personally i believe most likely to deceive. Oh my god.
It's not that I don't want to watch
Game of Thrones, it's just that I watch TV
on airplanes because I travel a lot.
I can't watch people fucking...
Like conventions,
commercials, etc.
I do a lot of traveling now.
I can't watch tits
in the cabin.
In the cabin.
It makes me uncomfortable.
Well, it's that time again, boys and girls.
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What are you chirping at me with, Chiz?
Do you know how hard it is to fucking read with that thing chirping in my ear?
Wait, do you have notifications on?
Yeah, I do.
Yeah.
I need to turn that off, I guess.
He bought a new computer, so it's got like...
Yeah, it's brand new.
I got Windows 10, too.
That's an experience.
How do you like Windows 10? I barely use it. I like it. You like it? got like oh i got windows 10 too that's an experience how do you like windows 10 i barely
use it i like it you like it i like it it's a big step up from it's like windows 8 uh got
fucked by windows 7 notice i didn't say that it's like windows 7 got fucked by windows 8
it's the other way around like windows 7 was the top and it bit Windows 8 over and penetrated it fiercely,
and out came Windows 10, which is a pretty usable system that I like and I'm learning.
I believe that's what David Pogue said in the New York Times, too, in his review.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, not everyone can be as eloquent as I can.
Fair enough, poor guy.
He probably just doesn't have a background in training, I'm sure.
Jesus.
But yeah, I'm digging it a lot.
Should we do a...
Where'd Taylor go?
I had questions for Taylor.
Do we do another ad?
What was your question for Taylor? I'm curious about that.
I want to ask more about his venison hunting.
Because I don't think...
I don't think we got to that. Oh no, we did. That was on PKN. We talked about that. want to ask more about his uh his venison hunting because i don't think was that on the show i don't think we got to that oh no we did that was on pkn we talked about that
that's right you guys uh you guys mentioned dragon ball z you guys watch any anime
only when no that's a swing and that's a swing and a miss in the crowd that's fine every now
and then we literally we every now and then we literally get paid to watch anime.
And if I'm going to be reading an ad read and then saying,
one of my favorites is Ruby whatever the fuck it was.
I feel like I should at least that be true.
So I watched a good bit of a couple things and I hated it.
I really hated it a lot
So and it's not that I'm anti animation. I'm just anti Japanese animation like I just don't like there
It's it's not that I'm xenophobic or racist or anything
I just don't like their culture and their people we get you hate Chinese Japanese people and you hate all Asians like that's yeah
Don't forget Koreans. I really feel like you left
Most especially the fucking Korean did I did I tell did I mention the soda thing that happened in the lobby?
Let's so I'm in the lobby of this very nice Korean hotel
It's I only mentioned it was Korean because it was just shocking that everything there was in Koreans and it smelled like a Chinese restaurant
There was a Chinese restaurant there
It was a Korean restaurant. A Chinese restaurant in a Korean place?
It smells like Korean.
They border.
There's a Chinese restaurant there.
It smells like Korean.
You know, that's interesting.
Don't you think that, like, if someone said,
that smells like American food, and they're like,
no, no, that's Mexican food.
Well, they border.
Of course they smell alike.
But I feel like it's actually true with Korean food and Chinese food.
They smell exactly the same to me.
I think some of the main ingredients are the same.
But anyway.
South Korea doesn't really have any contact with China, though.
North Korea does.
And North Korea doesn't even have food.
This was a North Korean hotel, I like to feel like.
It felt that way to me.
I felt a presence there of anger.
Like maybe we're being watched the whole time.
But we're in the lobby checking in. And the guy was really nice nice and i had a full coke that i just had gotten from jack in
the box and i've got excuse me two roller bags and i go to like leave the lobby to like go up to my
room and i drop the full gigantic large coke from jack in the box and it just tumbles end over end
and slow motion toward the floor and it just tumbles end over end and slow motion toward
the floor and it lands upside down on the floor and literally explodes like it went pop and the
top and like the lid like fractured and like just flew off and coke just sprayed everywhere and i'm
talking about this thing was completely full it's like 24 ounces of soda are just all over this nice
floor and the guy didn't notice but i just checked in so he knows
who the fuck i am i can't slink away i've got coke all over me anyway so i'm just like excuse me i
i'm sorry i i dropped my soda and it spilled on the floor he goes oh did you and i'm just like
yeah i did he's i'm like i'd happily clean it if maybe you've got some paper towels.
He's like, no, no, we clean, we clean.
And I just felt like shit.
I felt so bad about not being there.
He's Korean.
He might have dry cleaned your stuff too.
He should have just handed it to him.
So I'm just saying, we're all thinking it, right?
I felt bad though.
And I came down later and We're all thinking it, right? I felt bad, though. And, like, I came down later and looked
and the whole lobby had, like,
it didn't just pool. It, like,
made a stream and, like, went all
the way across the lobby. And they've got
all these caution signs around.
And I'm like, fuck, I've ruined the lobby
of this place. Like, they got
signs up and they're having to direct people
around my mess it was it
was terrible i felt really bad yeah well at least you could have offered to help clean up i did
offer to help and then let me tell you this i woke up and i felt sick i um i don't know why but i
vomited uh that yesterday morning whenever i got up i just i hadn't had anything to eat the night
before and i think my blood sugar was
just low I had a wings of redemption moment and
and I just got really weak and shaky and clammy and pale and and
I was I was like I'm gonna throw up when I throw up any second now and
All there was was this big Korean like urn type thing and I'm looking at it like
Like I might have to puke in this fucking urn
I'm hitting the elevator button like click click click click click click click click and I'm looking in the like I might have to puke in this fucking urn I'm hitting the elevator button like click click click click
and I'm looking in the urn
to see like how like sacred
it is or whatever
and there's like some sand in the bottom and like a
bubble gum wrapper and like
the bottom of like a sucker
like a tootsie pop or something you know just a
stick you know there's some trash in there
so I'm like
and I didn't vomit in it but I did spit in it just a stick. There's some trash in there, so I'm like...
I didn't vomit in it, but I did spit in it. It was a little vomity
spit that came up and burnt a little.
When you have to go like...
You have to
really get it off your tongue.
I did that in their urn.
Then the elevator showed up, so I go down to the garage
and it was
really cool down there and cold. I felt like... I vomited all in a trash can down there.
And it was just – I kept looking to see if anybody was seeing me vomiting in public because I feel like that's –
And why were you sick?
I don't know.
It wasn't nerves.
It really wasn't because I wasn't nervous to go at all.
I knew that all I was going to be doing for the first half of the day was getting in my suit or whatever and getting dressed.
I know what you're talking about.
Sometimes if I go a really long time without eating as well,
or if I miss dinner and then I don't eat lunch the next day
and it's been 19 hours,
you start to almost get a dry heaving feeling
where your stomach is super tight.
If you have a drink of water, it's like it wants to come back up.
I know what you're talking about.
I've had that, yeah.
It was definitely like a low blood sugar thing, too,
because as soon as I got a Sierra Mist and guzzled two mouthfuls,
I could instantly feel better.
It was like magic.
It was metabolizing instantly and going into my brain
and making me feel good again.
So maybe I do have a bit of an issue with soda.
They're piled up everywhere here.
There's no trash can in this place. They don have now that's on them so when i leave this
place fucking like it's gonna look like a uh like like a homeless man lived in here and just
because i'm probably used to it like i don't know what to do with this box of eaten pizza
because there's not a fucking trash can there is one but it's one of those hotel trash cans it's
like yay big and like
that tall that's suitable for like your
used tissue and maybe a Q-tip.
You could crush the can.
Crush what can? Step on the can.
You'll fit lots of them.
I got like a 12-pack over there.
I mean, I'm up here
stomping on cans.
That's not my responsibility.
I think I'm just going to leave it on the big table.
That's not my responsibility. I think I'm just going to leave him. That's not my responsibility.
I didn't go to school for that.
What if I cut my foot
or something?
I was about to go into Lord of the Rings talk,
but I won't do that.
I was going to talk about when Sean Austin
or Aston, whatever, stepped on that
broken bottle in the river
or whatever when he's going out. He's, no, Mr. Frodo, don't
leave me, or whatever, you know, when Frodo's trying to go off
on his own. He stepped on a glass
bottle and severely cut his foot open
like dozens of stitches, I think,
like across the middle of his foot
and fucked himself up there.
He did. Yeah.
Yeah, he really fucked his foot up and
Oh, is he saying fucking don't? Don't get into
Lord of the Rings talk? Okay, cheers. Alright. All right fine. We won't go into the long illustrious lore
That is Middle Earth all the histories and battles and and people of repute
We were talking about just just what are you really into?
Like I feel like I feel like Taylor and I and and Woody even have passions for certain fantasy.
We've all got passions.
What's yours?
Yeah, yeah.
I want to know what fantasy world or sci-fi world, what sort of nerdy thing are you into?
I love Star Trek, not so much Star Wars.
He just bought me Chimney Sweep Simulator 2006 on Steam steam I'm impressed with Taylor's knowledge of learn
like so I've watched all the Lord of the Rings movies many times several times not many um I've
read all three or four books if you include the Hobbit I feel like I know Lord of the Rings yet
when I hear Taylor talk about it I feel like I don't. That's because he read the fucking, go ahead.
The Silmarillion.
Yeah.
Which is just, so The Silmarillion is a book where it's basically like if J.K. Rowling just had so much more to say about Harry Potter.
That she was like, alright, and this book over here that I'm writing doesn't really have anything to do.
Like the story's all wrapped up and I just have to let you know, like, how the dinner parties were
and everything that was happening behind the scenes.
And it's, like, a bunch of stuff that's really not necessary,
but ridiculously, ridiculously detailed.
And it's so jumbled, it is hard to follow.
Because he'll just, it's like he's in his own,
it's like he's in his own head.
No, no, no, not those kind of details.
What he remembers, saying, like,
oh, and then, you know, the cave trolls, actually, they came from here, and this is what happened.
Oh, and then I forgot.
Also, with the elves.
And it's macro details, not micro details, like you're thinking about, Woody.
You're thinking about micro details.
Yeah, the micro details in this book.
He'll tell you, he takes two pages.
He will take two pages to describe how dark it is.
And it's a lot of darkness.
I won't go through it all.
In the Cimmerillion, however, it's more macro.
He'll tell you a whole fucking story about, like,
you know, you probably think that Sauron is the bad guy,
but he's not.
He's like one of the, there's a Satan character
and a God character, and Sauron isn't even Satan.
He's like a demon that's being bossed around by Satan.
And the same thing with Gandalf. He's more
like an angel.
There's a whole background
that goes into the religious
implications and everything.
And you know, just character
arcs and then all those
nitty gritty details about
the dwarves and the elves and where they came
from and where they're going and who their ancestors
were and what their ancestors did and
all the interplay that was had
and it's just silly. It's too much.
It's too much. I couldn't get into it.
I tried to read The Hobbit after reading the trilogy
and I was like,
okay boys, we're going to have to
The Hobbit's the easiest read.
That one I thought was quick. I read it first.
It was quick. It's just like you said, the amount of detail that he goes into, not just with The Hobbit's the easiest read. That one I thought was quick. I read it first. It was quick.
It's just, like you said, the amount of detail that he goes into,
not just with The Hobbit, but with everything.
I was just like, I don't have time to process through all of what I've just read.
I'm just going to skip.
Is he still talking about how dark it is?
Cool, let's go on.
I love reading, and I've been reading more and more, but I still can't bring myself to read a book of that density, that much info.
I know how you feel.
I can get into a pattern where I'm reading, and it becomes almost a speed reading competition with myself, and I'm trying to absorb quickly.
But then I find that I don't enjoy it nearly as much.
It's just like food.
You should slow down and savor
a fine meal. It's the same way
with a book. If you try to speed read
and absorb it quickly, or maybe just
read at the same pace that you would read an article or a
magazine, that doesn't quite cut it
if you want the 100% full surround sound
experience that is reading anything and everything.
If you slow down and you really
start imagining yourself in that situation
and like when he's talking about Jon Snow
hammering those spikes into the wall
as he slowly climbs and how they're
using the felt
hammer so that it doesn't make any noise
because the bad guys are waiting up there and if they
hear us then we're in a terrible position.
We're climbing a wall of stone and ice
and they're just up there on their perch. They can shoot us
with arrows. We can't make any noise.
And how scary it is and how his fingernails are getting ripped off and the blood's pouring.
And his hands are numb, and every step is terrible and on and on.
And he slips.
And if you take it slow, then you're up there with him.
You're hammering ice spikes.
You're imagining your fingernails ripped off.
And maybe you've had that happen before. You're thinking back to how much it hurt and i feel
like it's a much better experience yeah for sure so i don't mind details i i eat the details up
um like like i i've read all the harry potter books and i like when she's talking about the
feasts and you know all the little the meats and the succulent pies and the the roast this and the
boiled that i like it yeah but there's a difference between that and what he will do.
It's just like there's a nice middle ground between we went here and we did this
and this is how we did it.
And I'm going to explain to you how it felt to take a step on an unseated rock
for 45 minutes.
There's an in-between.
Have you read Lord of the Rings, Kyle?
Pardon? Have you read Lord of the rings kyle pardon have you read lord of the rings are those three books yeah i i it sounds like tucker has because he's right that i think it was he on his way to fight some giant spider in the scene you're
thinking of yes yes yeah i know exactly what he's talking about it's just like like yeah okay i get
it the rocks that they kind of move when you step on them. No, no, no.
Take a seat, young man.
Let me explain the rocks to you.
And you're just like, oh, my God.
That's why Shelob's Lair was such a good part of that book.
Shelob, that's what it was.
Because you were constantly, it took so long to get there,
it was out of control.
Where it was just like, I kept flipping to different chapters,
and it's like, there's no fucking way that he's still here everybody else is busting ass all over middle
earth and these guys have been on a rock for two chapters like debating like well i mean
should we go in there's a big fucking spider up there that's a good point that's a good point
should we go back dude it's so steep dude taylor would you rewrite this book because it's better
would you sell it as i hear this i'm like yeah maybe maybe maybe that's better that you're just
sitting there for two chapters reading and you're like fuck i wish they'd just go in but but then
you're like listening to them argue over it i wouldn't want to go in there that's one of the
most daunting things that happens in the whole story when they go into she lobs lair and he's
he's a hobbit he's a little guy right he's so happens in the whole story. When they go into Shelob's lair, and he's a hobbit.
He's a little guy, right?
He's so tiny in comparison to this enormous fucking thing, and it's a spider.
I don't like spiders this big.
And this thing is as big as a cow.
It's awful.
It's so terrifying.
The way that it's mouth does like the...
It's just horrible.
It's fucking terrible.
I can just imagine, like, that you're laying down.
You're not even afraid of getting killed anymore.
It's just like it's weird spider tongue
just, like, slaps your neck.
It's just...
You're just fending away.
You're just stabbing yourself over and over.
You won't take me.
Just gurgling at Frodo in that weird rap
as he's passing out.
Sam's just, kill me! Just gurgling at Frodo in that weird rap as he's passing out, Sam's just,
Kill me!
That would have been dark.
See, now, that's what would happen if
what's-his-name that writes Game of Thrones
wrote those books. That was what
would have happened. Sam would have died.
He'd have died terribly, and he'd
have been like, the venom would be
slowly, it would be like necrosis.
It would be like eating his flesh but at a pace that was like creeping and you could see.
And he's like, kill me, Mr. Frodo! Kill me!
And he's like, you're my son! You're my son! Mr. Frodo, please!
And he's just like, ahhh!
to Frodo, please!
And he's just like,
and like, but they go to the silhouette, the shadows,
and you see Frodo finally
penetrate Sam, and it's
finally, yeah, yeah, it's
kind of symbolic there, like
a little bit, yeah, a little something implied.
I think that if it were an OST series, there would at least
be some sort of charged embrace
or maybe like a second
and a half kiss. Like a
teaser, almost like
the end of Inception where you're like, is that top spinning
or is it not? I don't know.
Are they gay or
is this just like too long of a kiss before you die?
Like a tease.
If Tolkien had wrote the Wendy's ad read,
we'd still be talking about cheese right now,
two hours into the show.
Mountain cheese,
asking over mountains of beef.
Yeah, he loves food so much.
It's so evident.
I hope he survives to finish these books off.
It's going to be a real downer
if he eats himself to death
before we get these books.
Oh, so,
I was talking about how it would be cool real downer if he eats himself to death before we get these books. Oh, so I think
I was talking about how
it'd be cool to have Wings do his own Airbnb
and this experience that I've had
has only reinforced that. My idea,
Tucker, is that Wings should open
his place up as an Airbnb because
he's kind of home alone.
He's got five total bedrooms.
Advertise on YouTube. Talk about
it. Film everything.
Get five fucking GoPros.
Position them so we've got angles.
And move the furniture around if you need to.
Frame up the living room.
That's a shot.
You can make a sitcom out of this.
He's got a guy who'll edit.
Oh, a live stream.
Oh, if you could switch through the cams.
Would you like to see what's going on in bedroom number three?
You go to bedroom number three,
and it's Wings shaving some old man
real slowly.
Wings just kind of looks over you and nods
and just goes back to shaving.
The old man just nods, too.
It goes to camera three.
You see Kelly, like, banging his wife
in bedroom number two.
You, like, cut away real quick.
Oh, shit, don't want to do that.
It's going to be like, Remember that scene in The Shining?
They're doing rails off the table.
Remember that scene in The Shining where the wife
is running up the stairs after Jack's gone crazy
and she's just, oh!
She looks down the stairway
and that creepy music plays and she just
sees that dude laying back on the bed
and a guy in a bear suit filleting him
and they just sit up and look at her. That what it would be like at wings airbnb just nonsense happening
in all the rooms just complete mayhem i want it so bad i want it so bad wings could make so much
money and you know what else you want you want to know another way that wings could make so much
money and this won't happen it'll never fucking happen but if i were like one of the if i had that
you know we talk about billion dollars
Ten billion dollars I would make this happen no matter what it cost me if it cost me ten billion dollars
I'd make it happen
Cod for is coming out
remastered bog
You rematch wings of redemption and syndicate on Bob
Bastard you fucking you sell tickets to it maybe even do it in an arena and do a big fan meetup
where everybody promotes it you pay fucking tickets get to watch them head to head you know
chairs facing each other pcs between facing the other way they're fucking gaming they're fucking
going at each other and like add some rules in there that'll allow like some trash talking and
maybe a separate component aside from the gaming.
Maybe they can fuck with each other a little.
I'd buy tickets to see that thing.
Kyle, have you seen Syndicate talk about this?
No.
He brings it up about once every six months.
It just depends on how it comes into play,
but he does talk about it a lot.
Well, okay, so what happened was
when he
learned of cod for remastered what's that a week ago um he wrote like m16 1v1 on bog with like a
smiley face or something so a lot of people got excited about it and you know it's suddenly like
a real possibility and i guess he got nagged about it enough that he's he went on a, I hate to call it a Twitter rant, but maybe eight tweets or something like that.
Really?
Yeah.
And he, I think it's only fair to say,
very rudely said the summary of it,
and I'm hoping Chiz finds these links,
was that he doesn't like wings,
he doesn't want to do anything to help wings,
rest in peace wings career.
Like that was his current stance on it.
Sure.
And a lot of people took that as kind of inelegant.
They called him a cunt.
All right.
Well, let's go to the second, the number two person that Wings hates and hates Wings.
Let's get Dr. Chiz to 1v1 him on Bog.
Let's do that.
Does Wings hate Dr. Chiz? Yeah, yeah. Wings hates Dr. Chiz to 1v1 him on Bog. Let's do that. Does Wings hate Dr. Chiz?
Yeah, yeah. Wings hates Dr. Chiz.
Of course he does.
No, he doesn't.
Join the club. He does not.
Wings invited him on his
I guess they have a private podcast.
I'm actually trying to trigger
Chiz to speak because
Chiz hasn't spoken on the show in a long time.
I feel like if I back him into enough corners and say
enough bad things about him, he'll have to
step up and defend himself.
I'm just going worse and worse
with it. He's going to be
a real nefarious individual if he doesn't
pipe up in an episode or two.
I'm pumped for that.
How did this pan out with Syndicate and Wings?
I think Chiz might have left
Oh no, he's there
Did Wings reach out and say
Hey, I want to do the Bog thing
Or were Wings fans, or PKA fans saying it
More than likely
I'm sure anyone who saw the first one
Wants to see a second one
Because it was such a crazy little moment
And so much has been made of the moment More was made of it than it was such a crazy little moment and it was so uh and you know so much has
been made of the moment more was made of it than it was actually worth in my opinion like it's it's
a kind of a nutty moment you know it's cool taylor had a question though let me answer it since i
know it um so fans were poking it at syndicate but also on wings's podcast they talked about it for
like 10 15 minutes and the gist of it was a wing said that
he would win nine times out of 10, that that was a complete anomaly. Wing said that he has way more
skill than that other guy. Wing said that it was really my fault for setting up the rules wrong,
that it should have been radar always on and no timer. By the way way if this gets to wings i take exception to that like he didn't
ask for any specific rules all he asked for was like so wings set up the map bog wings at the time
i don't know if it's still true but what he was really good at was long distance aiming you know
you could call it camping but like at a distance picking off a guy where only one or two pixels
is showing was the thing that wings really excelled at that gameplay he wasn't running gunning killing people
in the same building he was picking off those guys from camping positions so when he set up m16 red
dot bog he set up the game to be like his forte and i happen to know that he had been like playing
some of that recently uh you know like it's 1v1ing
with his friends like it was his current trend and I was the host in North Carolina Wings was in
South Carolina and Syndicate was in England and uh so Wings set up the map he told you know what
the guns he had to use and he had practically host advantage and he still like I just don't
like that they're dragging me into it like oh that's bullshit what he didn't have radar on and no time limits
and I just say that also on top of that one like if you're gonna talk to anybody
that's gonna do any 1v1 competition and call of duty for and they're gonna start
off by saying it's not shipment then that in itself is kind of like well why
like what what is shipment gonna do my one B ones on on what Creek?
Papers only Gillian
But like that's but like not only that but everybody like the de facto rule set was radar off
Anyways, like the whole point of it was just like it was supposed to be game sense only and in a small enough space that
It doesn't drag out. Oh, here's the tweets. Yeah,'t i don't get uh red dot or not red dot radar always on that seems like it's just whoever
sits still longer wins that's a 1v1 holy shit this is a lot of tweets oh my god someone
oh cheers do i read these from bottom to top or top to bottom i don't know how to read these
he's top to bottom top to bottom do i start at the how to read these. Top to bottom.
Top to bottom.
Do I start at the white one or the black one?
The white one.
I think they're from Twitter white.
Okay, all right.
So top to bottom.
Looks like... All right.
Anyway, Keemstar...
How does this even happen with these two people?
Sorry.
Keemstar wrote to H3H Productions,
No, don't give Leafy a platform to defend himself.
I don't know why he says this
Syndicate wrote
Go on
H3H3 and Leafy both had a beef
I hate the current trend
Everybody just hates everybody
But they had this beef
About shitty content and shitty people
And making fun of kids with mental disabilities
Right
Leafy and H3H3 were talking about another guy,
and H3 said,
don't give him a platform to defend himself on YouTube.
So Leafy...
Keem said that.
Yeah, no, no.
H3 said that to Leafy.
Leafy posted that DM on a video,
and Keem is tagging in Jess,
using his words against him.
Don't give him a platform to defend himself on.
So it's complicated.
So then Syndicate wrote,
You're all childish fuck.
Learn to make videos without breaking controllers.
Keem wrote,
Haha, please do the rematch.
Syndicate wrote,
You think I'd waste my time on that?
No thanks.
Rest in peace to the deceased.
Keem wrote,
For charity.
If you say no, you're a ball sack syndicate wrote
the last time he tried to pay me to lose the rematch so he could regain his dignity hashtag
rest in peace career which i thought was very mean but it was also a bad idea on wings part
um keem wrote fuck you we offered you 10 grand for the rematch wings lied and wanted you to take
the fall not me i have no idea what i didn't even know what that was, but...
Oh, hey. Change of topic.
The PK knives
will be up tomorrow
at 5...
Tomorrow at 5 p.m.,
which will be Friday, so
for all of you Patreons
that are hearing it at 4 a.m. Friday
morning, it'll be
at 5 p.m. Eastern Standard Time on
Kitty's Twitter, Paintball Kitty. We were trying to figure
out where to
send people, but the page will be
ready to go and she's going to link it from there.
She wanted to make sure everyone knows. This is for
the PKA knives with the laser engraved and
everything and you'll be able to see the knife and everything
on an Etsy store that she's setting up.
She wanted to warn everyone
that sometimes when there's a big rush on an Etsy store that she's setting up. But she wanted to warn everyone that sometimes when there's a big rush on an Etsy store
that it can get locked down
and they can lock the account
and put you on some probationary period
for like 12 hours or something.
So if you're trying to buy a knife
and it won't let you,
then check back in half an hour
or maybe just follow Kitty on Twitter
and she'll keep you updated.
Or I'm sure Woody can relay messages through his Twitter
as well. But they'll be on there
and all the details
for them will be there. I think that's
all I needed to cover with that.
Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. Those knives are coming.
Exciting. They're all done.
Hot sauce is ordered. It's on the way.
So
gears turning and things happening.
And I think whenever I get done with this month-long excursion
that I've made to Los Angeles,
maybe we'll do one of those in-person PKA's,
because I think that'd be a ball,
and I'd like a real vacation where I'm not afraid.
A real vacation in a real hotel,
with real TVs and one mattress.
I would love, yeah, just one mattress at a time.
You know what? I'd really like to have my gun.
I feel like I'd feel a lot better if I had my gun.
I just feel like if somebody comes in here,
like I said, I just got the iron. I'd just, you know,
fucking steam them, bash them a little, but
I know I can't take more than one. Not with an
iron. What are we gonna do?
You're not even gonna be able to take one with an
iron unless you get the least prepared
burglar of all time.
Well, maybe he stumbles in, you know,
and he's incoherent,
and he doesn't realize that he's stumbled into my apartment.
I don't know what kind of burglar I'm dealing with with Taylor.
I'm just doing the best I can over here.
I got this lamp.
This lamp weighs like 30 fucking pounds.
I can't wield that.
Honestly, I'd let the burglar come in,
and I'd be like, take anything you want. I will stop you
if it's my thing.
And so he'd go and he'd look and he'd pick it up and I'd be like,
it's fine. It's A-OK.
Collect your shit in there.
And then just be like, everything else outside this table.
Everything not in this corner or in that
backpack. All yours.
Go hog wild. Take as long as you want to.
There is nothing in this place worth taking
that I do not own. I guarantee it and all the furniture is fucking what window
unit it's a it's what it's like a 16 inch white Zenith something there's a
reason I'm not running it doesn't even do anything it just makes noise just
cuz yeah it doesn't put out cold air? Barely. It's so nice here.
I don't need it.
It really, like, I can open the window, and it's just, it's really nice outside.
It's, I don't know, 60s, 70s, something like that.
That stinks, though.
When I travel, like, so at home, my AC's not on, like, 65 or something.
But when I'm in a hotel, sometimes that's when, like, I'm going to need all these covers.
Bring in some extra blankets.
We're turning the ac onto two what he splurges with the energy consumption when it's on somebody
else's darn walk into that hotel that's 66 degrees i'm sleeping well tonight like i'm not
getting uncomfortably he pees in the toilet he's like oh i can flush it down. That's not my water, baby. Flush it down. All right.
He's watching it.
Wow.
Yeah.
You don't see this at home.
I don't even care.
What are you typing over here, Chiz?
You're driving me mad.
He's talking about the hockey game.
Don't let it disturb the game.
You know what I was talking about the other day?
Instead of hockey, I'd like to see ice rugby.
Now, I think that would be a fun sport. Imagine the speed of the
skates and everything. Some rules to
keep them from just going from one end to the other.
Slow the game down a little bit
so you have to have so many players
on certain sides of the line
on the ice or whatever. But I like that idea
of all these guys wrestling and fighting
out there. I think the inclusion of the sticks
is just silly.
It would not work at all.
Have you ever seen, like,
the reason that, like, it's hard to fight as a hockey player
is because, like, the whole time,
you're not, like, a boxer in a ring.
Every punch you throw,
it's like you're on one of those swivel things,
so it's like your foot's back here now
because you're throwing punches.
You need ice rugby skates.
So on ice rugby skates,
ice rugby skates, so you've got the blade, right, like on a normal skate, but on ice rugby skates. So on ice rugby skates, ice rugby skates.
So you've got the blade, right, like on a normal skate,
but on ice rugby skates, I feel like you put
a T up on the front somewhere.
So under the toe,
you can push.
No, so what you do
is you can roll up on your toe
and you can push and you can shove.
Yeah, it's like the roller skates
from when you were a kid. They had the rubber stopper
on the toe. So when you want to throw a punch,
you just dig your feet in there and you just
wail on them and then you just go back to skating.
That's genius.
I'd rather have ice rugby than hockey if I'm being completely
honest. It sounds like a ball.
Hockey's pretty cool to watch even though if you're not a fan
though. I don't care at all about hockey.
But I'll go to a hockey game and watch somebody play.
That seems fun. Yeah, it's a fun sport. I I don't care at all about hockey, but I'll go to a hockey game and watch somebody play. That seems fun.
Yeah, it's a fun sport.
I definitely agree with that. I tried to, I started watching the Blues game the other
day and I watched the first period. And after the first period I fell asleep. I slept through
the second period and then I watched the third period. I don't know, I liked it I guess,
but I don't really have a dog in the fight and sometimes it's just like wow they've just
been hitting it back and forth for like
two minutes now with no real
cool action I don't know I get bored with it a little bit
but I've been to a couple
hockey games before and I always like that so
I think there are a lot of sports like that
I hate watching baseball on TV most of the
time unless it's a playoff game that I
really care about which is extremely rare
but I've been to baseball games and always enjoy that, and basketball games even more
so.
I always loved mainly high school basketball games.
Those were always so much fun going there because you're pretty close to the action
in basketball, and I feel like you can see what's going on pretty well.
Are you sure it's not all the 16 through 18-year-olds in the crowd?
Well, I was over there last week.
Oh, no, there was no basketball game.
Just, you know, browsing around.
I was just over there.
Check it in.
The cheerleaders are getting out there early and stretching and stuff.
And I like to be there for moral support, you know.
I like to be able to walk them to their car afterward.
Make them feel safe.
I'm usually lying in wait out in the parking lot when they get there.
So, I don't really walk to theirs as much as I kind of lie in wait out in the parking lot when they get there, so
don't really walk to there as much as I kind of
lie in wait. That's more my game.
Call me the spider!
Yeah.
None of that.
Well, anyway.
Enough about you
getting close to raping high schoolers.
Let's find a way out of that.
Out of that.
There's an ask Reddit question. Oh, go ahead.
No, we needed years.
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Alright, alright. Here, round table, guys.
This is an AskReddit thing.
Your last text message
is the only thing you're allowed to scream during sex.
What is it?
Oh, no.
I don't know.
It's my mom.
Oh, it's my dad.
Land Saturday morning!
Delays are common, I'd say!
Not sure.
I'd say the winner of this one wins the series.
Mine's just sure
sure
sure
that's a lot to yell
why even bother anymore if that's all you
I thought are people screaming things
anyway like if you're so
into screaming that you have to
even if that's the only thing you can scream
I don't know I thought my message was going to be
something different but that turned out to be Skype.
I thought it was going to be,
is Taylor here?
Yeah.
But I wrote that on Skype.
Because you always typed that before.
Anyway.
It was at the start of the show.
Yep. So, Chiz. anyway it was at the start of the show yep so cheers trying to think what I got
going on she stepped away for a minute
I'm kind of like I've got anything else
I want to share about my trip or what's
going on here we've had an interesting
couple days
holy shit sorry this actually might be
interesting you I just got an email
apparently the FTC is just ruled that ruled that if you are doing a sponsored stream on Twitch, you have to legally add a PNG on the stream.
And it must be up there the entire time it's there. I wonder if they're going to move it and do that with video as well.
Not just an ad card that's at the beginning of the video, but literally there the entire time.
What's a PNG?
that's at the beginning of the video, but literally there the entire time. What's a PNG?
Uh, it's a file type. So like an image.
So literally, the one that I got as a demo is just a square and it says,
uh, paid ad content and then the Overwatch logo,
because I'm doing a campaign with Overwatch.
So that means that I have to verbally call out, like currently,
I remember the good old days where you didn't have to say anything.
I mean, that's obviously- Was that good? I hated that.
No, that's not good, but I meant i meant like you know back in the day you didn't have to disclose anything obviously
really immoral and conflict of interest but now you know that means basically you start your stream
the title has to stay sponsored by or add whatever you have to have a disclaimer that it is verbally
called out that's an ad now you have to have an image that's on top of the entirety of the thing
saying that's an advertised product it's kind of crazy like you know just how fast
they've been moving on it i'm not saying it's bad i'm saying how fast they moved on it it is
just like three years ago the sponsors almost like didn't want to disclose anything they wanted
to seem really organic yeah and uh um you know and if you're in a deal like that like oh shit like
it was always me like there'd be like eight people doing the same thing and then there's hate videos
about me you know and it was like fuck you know but like what am i supposed to do i guess not do
it at all but um uh now you know like i feel like there's laws that protect that and you just say
hey this is sponsored by whoever and I wouldn't mind that at all.
Heck, King Hill already appears to be already set up for this.
Because our show has the...
There's nothing hidden about our sponsorships.
But yeah, I don't know.
It's moving along quick.
I kind of like it.
It's a move towards honesty.
And as a content creator, I feel like I'm protected from people who want to fake it yeah i wouldn't i would never say that transparency is a bad thing it's
always a good in fact since transparency moved in it's no longer like oh my god you're paid to do
this it's like no like i i if i go to chipotle and i'm like fuck you i love chipotle somebody
will come in and be like dude this is is fucking paid. And somebody will be like there's clearly no disclaimer,
it's paid, it's not paid, don't worry about it.
You know that's helped out a lot.
It's not a bad thing, transparency is always good.
I was just shocked that within the short time frame,
I wouldn't even say three years,
I'd say a year and a half,
the FTC went from not caring to like,
no you gotta do everything this way.
Like this is the way it has to be,
it's not a gray area anymore.
So they moved fast. Yeah they're practically political messages right my
name is Tucker and I support this product I have to start every video hi
I'm Tucker and I support me undies I'd not because they support me right back
why wouldn't you see I'm wearing these things right now they feel so great I
am symbiotic relationship I was throwing them out and they keep you in.
So I was in wardrobe and I didn't know what to expect because I'm getting a suit tailored and I've never done that before.
And my tailor is a pretty attractive young lady.
And I'm wearing the MeUndies and I come out in this pair of pants, and you can see my dick real well through these pants.
It's like, damn, there's my dick, and I didn't know what to do.
Because on one hand, I feel like it's her job to know that my dick is showing through these pants.
She needs to know.
And so I just figured I'd make sure that she found out her own.
So I just kind of looked away and gave her some room to investigate,
and pretty soon she was like let's try on some
different pants yeah yeah that's not something that you want to be hiding when you're getting
fitted for something because you need it to fit right so if it makes your ass look weird or you
can see like your ball sack or dick there like that needs to be something immediately like okay
well let's nip this one don't need to check these pants out anymore let's get some other ones
like yeah that would have been awful if you just kind of stood awkwardly,
let them get it okay, and then you're out there walking around.
Would it have been awful?
I feel like the project would have been really funny.
They probably don't want him to be really funny in his scenes.
I don't know.
You saw those photos of me in wardrobe.
Yeah, that's pretty funny.
Yeah, and's pretty funny.
Yeah, and you add like the... I'm wearing like a double-breasted suit
and like combat boots with that.
It's pretty silly. It's good shit.
I'm having a lot of fun with this thing.
I think it's going to be great.
We're not doing anything until Monday.
So I got the whole weekend to...
Three-day weekend.
Just sit in that weird little apartment, I guess.
You can do it.
Eat delivery food.
That's what's going to happen. I'm going to sit here, play
Command of Heroes, or Company of Heroes,
eat delivery food, and
that's it. That's what I'm going to do until Monday.
I got nothing else to do, and I hate this city.
I hate exploring it. I don't want to
explore it. Every time I see a new
avenue of this city, I hate
it. All these places that look so nice
on television or have been described to me
like someone was talking about Pink's Hot Dogs
and I went there once and they were
disgusting. Five Guys Hot Dogs are ten times
better. What is Pink's Hot Dogs?
It was supposed to be like this famous
hot dog place in LA and
when we got there, the line is super long.
We waited 20 minutes to get a hot dog.
Yeah, Portillo's knocks it out of the water.
Yeah, Portillo's are excellent.
You know what I do?
Chicago's the best food.
Chicago's my favorite city.
If I was in your spot, business travel the same way you do, right?
Don't naturally go out and catch foul balls at some game.
I'd catch a movie at that Walk of Stars movie theater.
Maybe the new-
Chinese theater.
Is that what it is?
And there's a new honestly
the civil civil war thing right that's the captain america civil war would be great it's
you know you probably want to see that and if you haven't caught a movie there it's a little better
than the other experience like the hooray for hollywood plays on like a brass band or something
and and it's you're almost like yeah i forgot how fucking cool
hollywood really is there's like a history happening here and uh you might i would like
it i bet you would too i might go to the the uh it's the videorama or something like that it's
that one that quentin tarantino was in that whole debacle with disney over and showing
and the showing of hateful eight um that's just like down the road i'm really close to that uh
that's the they had one of those 70mm
I might watch it there because I have considered
that. I'm thinking about
maybe flying my girlfriend out here too.
What are you going to do?
Stay in this scary fucking hell hole
while I'm gone for 12 hours?
Do you really want to?
Don't you want a little bit of alone time?
Nah.
I don't like that at all. I'd rather have it right here pk dan had a formula
he said that like the amount of time you like being away is the is like the days equals number
of kids times two so like back when he had one or two kids he wanted two or four days before he was
like yeah i really like to get back with the family i missed that situation by the time he had four girls he's like eight days eight days away before i start missing
them i wanted to come back and i i don't feel like i was guilty for a while guilty for what
oh like if i was a parent like and i went away for like business for like a week and it got to
be like the last day and i hadn't seen my kids in like a full week and i was thinking like god this has been great like i would feel so guilty
if i was thinking like oh i don't want to see those fuckers again like god what a taste of
freedom again that's like a scary feeling you know you're not supposed to think that but i
guarantee there are tons of married people out there who feel trapped like that every day
you know and nobody talks about it so it seems like it could happen to anyone everybody's just walking around with fake smiles of oh
you know i can't wait to go lows later my god you know then we'll hit up the whole foods they got a
new shipment of kale and but really you're just dying inside slowly and you hate yourself and
you hate that little kid like i don't see any of myself in you like just things like that i don't
know that's funny i I could talk about that.
So I don't feel that way about my family.
I'm quite happy to have them, honest.
I will say that when I worked at Cisco and stuff and traveled,
sometimes the first day or two, either I went or they went,
it was kind of nice to just like, I don't know.
Like for example, Jackie doesn't like to see me lay on the couch. I don't know what the heck that's all about.
I could be busy all day.
I could have worked until 4 a.m. last night, and then I get up at 8 a.m.
That's a power move, my friend, and you're falling for it.
You can't let her dictate.
That's the same thing your mom did when you were little where she would yell,
you know, boys, and you would have to run to her and be like, what?
I stopped doing that when I was like 12.
I'd just be like, what?
And make her come to me.
Because it's a power play.
And you gotta learn to play the game if you're gonna win.
I think it's a Chris Rock routine
who's like, nothing make a woman
upset like a man sitting on the couch
or however he says it. And
when I heard it, it was like, damn, that's true.
And so you said, damn, that's true. So you said, damn, that's true.
I bet you did.
So anyway, yeah, as busy as I keep myself, that's a thing.
So like when she's out of town and the first day or two on the couch where it's like, yeah,
I could sleep here on the couch if I wanted to.
And that would be great.
But after a while, that gets overridden by, like, wishing they were back.
You know, the empty sense of purpose, et cetera.
It takes me a really, really long time to get homesick and to want to be back home and to want to be back.
It really does.
Especially if, like, where I am is good.
Like, when Chiz and all of us went to Colorado, I wasn't ready to go fucking home.
I could have stayed out there for a year.
I'm not exaggerating. A year before
I was like, I really want to see Dad.
I got to go back. That's what it would be.
I could be out there a year and I really
wouldn't care. It wouldn't bother me a bit
not seeing any of the people I see.
The guy at the gas station?
Who am I missing out on? I don't give a shit.
Sounds like your home isn't cool enough for you.
Or you're not enjoying where you live enough then.
Because it's like four days for me before I'm like,
I need to get back.
I need to go home.
No, what you're missing is we went to a fucking badass cabin
out in the middle of nowhere in Colorado and had a ball.
So it was a great time anyway.
We had an amazing time in Colorado.
It was a lot of fun.
Yeah, we had a buddy out there with a four-wheel drive uh suv so he tow us behind it uh on on like
big inflatable uh i don't know like lake toy um so that was a lot of fun like flying through the
snow inner tube yeah chis nearly died that was fun um food was great had an awesome time there
and it's beautiful i'd never been to color before. Your home's got to be better.
Like, I drive around in a golf cart every day.
And I guess that's not quite inner tube dragging.
But I love every freaking time I hop on that golf cart.
I love it.
We've got a go-kart.
My buddy's bringing over a go-kart tomorrow.
It's a street go-kart.
And apparently it goes like Mach 1.
We're going to give that a whirl.
Is tomorrow the play date?
No, it's another play 1. We're going to give that a whirl. Is tomorrow the play date? No, it's another play date.
We scheduled one before.
Jackie's letting you have two play dates.
She is. I'm a very lucky man.
Is she going to let you guys sit on the couch?
Probably not.
Kyle, be real.
Yeah, no, no.
I was sending him pictures.
So I became friends with my contractor,
and there's water on the stable floor.
Like it's coming in from somewhere.
And I was like, you know, look at this.
We got this problem.
We got to sort it out next time you're over, et cetera.
And he's like, you know, my last appointment's at 1130.
I got the afternoon off.
Off to him means like no like, you know, quoting meeting with customers.
He still has crews and stuff doing shit.
Anyway, he's like, I could come over.
We could go to lunch. I'll bring the go-kart on the trailer. Well, you know, we'll do the,
and I'm like giddy about like, yeah, I got a fucking play date tomorrow, but it's a grown-up play date with like 50 horsepower. You know, like it's going to be great. You know, people listening
to this just, you know, you're probably laughing at me right now, but hypothetically, imagine you were invited.
Like, hey, we're going to hang out on the compound.
We got two go-karts, one street, one dirt.
We got plenty of fuel.
We're going to go do our thing.
We're going to go out to lunch.
Where are you going to drive?
You know, you wish you were there.
Where are you going to drive the street go-kart, though,
because it needs asphalt, right?
So around my compound, there's a whole bunch of it like you know yeah
i get my go-kart up to 40 on that and there's no like real street traffic or anything it's like
well don't you go across the street on you guys gonna do some sick jumps you can do jumps on the
on the dirt one the one that i have like in front of the stable in particular there's like a ramp
you get air it's cool god i just i can't stop picturing like this whole thing is a skit of you and
your adult man friend like romping around like you're running up the stairs
and he grabs you by the shirt and he pulls you down you guys are both racing up the
stairs to get the dessert that Jackie made for you you're asking if he can
spend the night and she has to call his wife to check and you know Ted can stay
and you guys go yes yes red box. Can we go to Redbox?
Can we go to Redbox and get the new ones?
Did we just become best friends?
Shit like that.
You know, you're sneaking up at, like, 11, 15 at night, really quiet to get snacks, you know, all the time.
Just picturing this makes me so happy.
Just the silliness of it.
Dude, yeah.
And Tucker doesn't know.
We've got another date.
this of it dude yeah and tucker doesn't know we've got another date i have to like regrade my um my backyard because we're putting in a pool and and because it doesn't just absorb rain anymore
they'll be like concrete it would drain towards the house anyway we're renting a bulldozer so
we'll have like a bulldozer and a tractor and we're gonna like redo my backyard like the grading
of it this is like fucking diesel fun man like like oh that's gonna be great i feel like you
guys you get so into stuff like that,
you would want to make pillow forts,
and you would go out to Bed Bath & Beyond with him
and just clean them out of everything.
Build the biggest pillow fort,
because that's how you are with these things.
You wouldn't be happy with a couple of cushions and then a sheet.
No, you'd go and you'd buy all the fucking bedding you needed.
Chiz wrote that. Let's build a pillow fort in the guest house hashtag diesel fun yeah so so my friends come on over tomorrow i guess i'll try and get some
vlog footage of it or something and uh and you'll see us i i have never seen his street go-kart yet
so um so that'll be cool.
We'll hang out and we'll do that. I had one of those when I was a kid.
They can be dangerous.
They are very fast.
Yeah.
These are my favorite things.
Arm and leg arms.
Wait, what?
They're real twitchy.
I think I've mentioned that before.
A couple of friends of mine broke their arms and legs on it.
Sorry, I thought you said what to me and not to Colin.
I did.
No, Hope, we have a dirt go-kart, and Colin hurt his arm,
but it turned out he just needed it in a splint for a little bit.
Hope hurt her passenger's arm, and that may or may not have been broken.
That was the first day we met her.
We broke their daughter's arm.
That's how all those injuries go in those things,
is because there's so much centrifugal, centripetal force, whatever,
when you're turning and you're going to tip,
that your body, like, you know when you watch crash test dummies,
they don't just slam down.'s like a couple seconds of like and then just
like that but um that was pretty good taylor you're like
i like it yeah uh yeah so i guess colin rolled in such a way that he put his arm out to post up,
and Hope rolled in such a way that her passenger did.
And at first, it was like, oh, it's okay.
It's not broken.
It's not broken.
And then we talked to him a week later.
Like, the other doctor said broken.
But it wasn't –
And in seconds.
It did need to be reset.
So I guess the difference between broken and not is pretty subtle.
I've been in ATVs crawling up like really really steep hillsides and stuff where i i just
the goal was to flip it was like let's do it until we flip upside down because that thing has a roll
cage and like netting all the way around and i'm just holding my heart yeah i've got a harness
it's coming down like this and i'm just holding it and i'm ready. I know I'm not going to stick my arms outside this motherfucker
though. The only thing I'm worried about is any
stick penetrating in, but that
seems like such a rare thing and I had a helmet on
so it was just like, here we go.
It was fun.
You want to roll it. It's like, let's turn this thing
sideways on this hillside and
that's what this thing's built for.
My buggy was a similar thing.
It wasn't like that all the time.
But, like, when we're headed to an obstacle, I'd explain to my passenger, like, all right, let's tighten up the five-point harness.
You know, you're going to grab it like this with your arms in an X.
And, you know, if things get tippy, don't post up.
You know?
And we flipped it a bunch of times.
Enjoy the ride.
You got no control at this point.
And so ours was...
What do we do?
Hang on.
Yeah, I was trying to make it. I didn't really want to
roll it because it's heavy enough that there's damage.
It weighed about
3,000 pounds.
Maybe less.
But a 3,000 pound vehicle crashing
on the roll cage of it is
a solid hit.
Yeah.
Those things are certainly dangerous.
Be careful tomorrow. don't try and impress
your friend too much no playing chicken by the the road if you can vertical jump over it when
he drives towards you you know just like clear it yeah yeah jump over him yeah that'd be sick oh
get him coming at you with dude this is for your high speed camera you stand there and he comes at
you with the street go cart and at the at the last thing you then and then and then and then and then and like jump and he and he pat like
like this is you and and this is him and you jump as he like passes yeah that was what i was saying
i feel like yeah that's what he was i feel like i'd have a better chance doing that in some water
world universe with the boat than i would on the street. Do I look like I'm built for jumping?
Look at those calves.
You look like you could jump over a house.
Gravy and I are friends.
What you need to do is here,
just have some forced perspective.
So you're standing there,
and it looks like the car is coming right for you,
but really it's like that.
You know, there's the...
Tucker, you must like that.
Yeah, I like that pivot.
I like that pivot.
Yeah, like that. So there he is. There's the, Tucker, you must like that. Yeah, I like that pivot. I like that pivot. Yeah, like that.
So, there he is.
There's the car coming at him.
You, as soon as it's about to cross, that's it.
You cut the video there.
You replace it with a straw dummy dressed in your clothes.
And then you get the exact same footage again and cut it back to right where it's about to hit you.
And it just, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Just pummels over the fucking
dummy with all the straw in it. Oh, that would be a
hoot. That would be a great video for you.
Free of charge.
Thank you.
It's easy too.
You must have a ton of straw laying around too.
You seem to keep a lot of agricultural goods
just in case. A lot of wood, a lot of
seed. We just threw away our
straw like two weeks ago.
The straw's gone bad.
Yeah, it was
in the stable. We paved the whole thing.
Yeah, he's
being serious. They really had to get rid of their straw
spine.
That was a real issue they faced in the morning.
It's an issue we faced.
They're stringent straw standards here in our home.
We're not going to let it get a little wet
and put it back in our pristine barn.
On our rubber mats.
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Let me start over there.
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When I talked to my stylist, he invited me to a play date at that fun house or whatever they have in Chicago.
He said, hey, I'm going to pick out your clothes.
Do you want to come pal around for a while?
In different words, he was more professional than that.
And I said said where is
it and he said chicago and i said oh that's like a long time to drive to hang out but like maybe
another time he knows i didn't mean it we both did but he invited and that's what matters so
friendly folks there i did it too let me talk about my experience so um i guess going into it i
didn't want to talk about clothes and stuff like i, I don't know. Like somehow it was like, ah, these are the clothes I want.
But I don't every day talk about my sense of style and such.
And she's like, well, what do you wear every day?
And I'm like, ah, that's not the hole I'm trying to fill.
Every day I wear like crappy stained shorts because I'm going to do something that will stain them further.
And a ratty old t-shirt.
A lot of up and coming tees.
Yeah, right?
Like every day I wear a shirt well on tuesdays i wear
my tech tuesdays shirt i've got someone that says bitches be crazy that's the weekend
on a daily basis i wear the worst clothes i have because every day i'm like working in the shop or
something but i was like that's not the hole in my wardrobe I'm trying to fill I'm trying to fill that
occasional like go to the friends barbecue kind of like casual look your
best you know slightly there so I'm a school look what's that a first day of
school or say hello that's kind of what I was going for and I wish I had used
that term and she you know to ask about your height your weight and you know like
your fit concerns and she you know
we talk about all that and
she sent me a trunk full of stuff and she was
born to be a stylist like she was just
put set me at ease
and suddenly had me talking about clothes
and clothing goals which is
something that I don't normally talk about
and she sent me a trunk of stuff and we
picked out the stuff we kept and sent the rest back.
I figured for you, you just really got
six pairs of leather sandals.
And that was it.
Just tons of dad sandals.
These are my weekend mandals.
These are my daily mandals.
So unfair. I haven't worn mandals
in like five years.
So you want a collared shirt?
I want one t-shirt, a pair of jorts, and six pairs of mandals.
Sir, we don't have six different kinds of mandals.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I thought I was talking to the trunk club.
Like, just kidding.
I'm not having all the mandals that you think a traditional stylist should carry.
I don't wear mandals.
I do wear flip-flops sometimes Or whatever you call them
There's a difference, flip flops are different than mandals
But what do you call a high end flip flop
That's like
Do they have gladiator straps on them
Or are they just like the thong
Just the thong thing
But they're like a little leather
And they cost like 60 bucks
Don't care what it's made of.
It's not just those.
There are some gladiator straps on your sandals.
That's not fair.
You were talking about sandals from 2010.
Those are mandals.
But flip-flops, if it's just the fucking thong thing, that's it.
I don't care if it's made out of gold.
It's a flip-flop.
They're only one minute away in this house.
They're nearby.
Do you want to do that to yourself?
Mandals just don't make any goddamn sense.
What shoe void
do they fill?
You know those shitty wooden shoes
that they used to wear in Holland?
They were tied to those because they were
just shit.
You don't need to keep up with
old shoe styles that are shit now.
I like sandals. I like flip-flops uh here's the hole that they fill they feel i can like if i'm gonna be just like walking
outside and like going to my car or like doing something really quick and i'm gonna be like i'm
inside working most of the time i'm on my computer or doing something in home but then i need to
quickly put on some footwear to walk into the yard in case I step in dog shit or something So the plops are perfect for that
I'm doing lazy if I'm feeling lazy
Then I'll wear like a polo jeans and flip-flops, and I'll go to the gas station or you know like somewhere like that
I'll go out like that. I won't go to the movies or dinner or something. Maybe but like I'll rock the sandals
I like them. This is what I actually wear
But like I'll rock the sandals. I like them. This is what I actually wear
Yeah, yeah, but mandals don't fill a void that needs filled like there's not all right So no one has needed to wear mandals since they completed the pyramids like that's what they hand out to all the Jews that were
Building that shit and then afterwards you not build that whole thing and he's awful
That's factually a trap shoes Yeah, that was not the Jews.
I know it wasn't, but it's more topical.
If you're gonna like... Oh!
Can we let Tucker finish? No, go for it!
I wanna know what just made that happen.
Yeah, I want Taylor to tell us
the story of
Job.
Job.
Taylor, that
was lost.
It's lost footage, really.
And it was ruined anyway by my internet connection.
Okay.
You have to give me...
Bring up a moral quandary, Kyle,
that would be answered by Job.
This is like...
Think of these stories like Magic School Bus.
Mrs. Frizz never went out there and was like,
we're going to learn about the fucking digestive system.
It was always because that little fucker with the red hair
was like, I got upset, Tubby.
So they had to shrink up and go inside.
I need a direction.
I guess maybe
it would be a good one to tell
someone where you need to
keep believing and stick in
there because it's the right thing to do
sometimes.
Maybe. Maybe.
Like,
maybe if you're describing work ethic.
If you're talking about work ethic,
maybe,
like,
it's not about this,
it's not about that.
It's about it being the right thing to do
and you just do it because
it's there to be done
and it needs to be,
it needs doing.
I don't know
because the story of Job is awful.
It's so awful.
I was trying to think of just any,
like,
that's how bad the story is in the Bible.
Like, you take any other parable, and you can be like, oh, the fish and the, you know, fucking bread that he fed everybody with.
That shows that he gave everybody a bunch of food.
It's a good moral.
If you got food, give it to people.
You know, help them out.
You can even pull something out of that.
With Job, you have to sit there and think, like, maybe he was, no.
No, because he gets, oh, God.
have to sit there and think like maybe he was no no because he gets no oh god so basically joe the story of joe is if you read through the bible and you've made it to joe and you're still somehow
a christian like joe's gonna fucking do you in like you're not basically joe starts out
very game of thronesy where everything's being built up like wow what could go wrong here you
know ned's got a handle on this whole thing.
So Job was the best guy in the whole world.
And God knew this.
And everybody on Job's block knew that God thought that Job was the best.
So there's a little bit of resentment right there, right away.
Everybody knows that Job's God's favorite.
But he earned it. And so the devil, who apparently can just, you know,
quaffily drift into wherever Jesus currently is,
Jesus slash God, one and the same.
That's in later chapters.
I didn't mean to spoil it.
Don't forget the Holy Ghost.
Yeah, there's another one in there.
The Trinity.
One and a half, well, half of one.
So Job basically lived his life doing the best he can.
Satan goes up to God and says,
Hey, that Job guy, he really loves loves you but he's got like 12 kids
he's got a dope house he's got more crops than he needs he's got a bunch of animals he only likes
you because you gave him all that shit and job or and god was like that's not true that's horse shit
and i know that's not true because i'm god like i know this but anyway god goes okay i'll indulge
you satan you know god often makes a game of of indulging Satan at the expense of those he loves most.
It's just something about God.
And Satan goes, okay.
And so Satan goes, and he starts making Job's life as fucking terrible as possible.
Starts out, what did he do first?
I think boils might have been the first one.
So basically, he goes.
The crops die.
All his animals die. And you got to, it's not like he's like three pigs died like herds and herds of multiple kinds of you know thousands
of goats and hundreds of cattle think of this like a factory farm he was like a big time dude
he wasn't like oh no tracy and susan my goats like it was like they didn't have names they were
thousands of goats all of his livestock just dies which is basically like all the money you have like oh no tracy and susan my goats like it was like they didn't have names they were thousands
of goats all of his life suck just dies which is basically like all the money you have gone
and a bunch of predators or whoever else just eating rotting meat he still is like you know
what god that sucked but i'm on your team you're gonna get me through this and so the devil goes
back to god and he's like can i try something else you know i didn't i didn't go the angle i
should have and god's like fine you fuck like just get? You know, I didn't go the angle I should have. And God's like, fine, you fuck.
Just get this done.
We don't have that many pages in this book to spend on this one dude.
And so he goes back, gives Job's entire family boils.
Boils.
Pustules all over their body, erupting willy-nilly.
Just nastiness.
They can't sit and eat dinner together.
It's disgusting.
No one trusts any kind of food that's creamy or
indistinct
textures. It ruined couscous for me,
Susan. God, no more
to us. No more quinoa
in Job's house
after the boils hit.
They all sit there, and Job's family isn't
quite as hot on this as him.
They're like, God, this fucking sucks.
And Job is still like, guys, we're sitting in a dope house all the animals are dead but we got food right now
god's on our side so what if we're itchy for a few days you know satan goes back to god again
says this fucker actually he's pretty tough i gotta hand it to you and god's like i know i
saw i literally saw this coming and satan's like, all right, one more shot.
One more shot.
And so he goes to Job's house.
Job's out and about taking care of things, taking care of business,
needs to try and rebuild his empire.
I'm sorry?
He's probably doing the Lord's work out there.
He's proselytizing or whatever you call it.
He's out there finding new followers.
Woke up tender to the bone, and he's like, I just have to spread the love of the Lord. And so he's out there finding new followers. Woke up tender to the bone,
and he's like,
I just have to spread the love of the Lord.
And so he's out there doing his thing.
The rest of Job's family is sleeping in.
This is fucking bullshit.
God comes down,
watches as Satan collapses the whole house
on all of Job's children and his wives.
I don't know.
At least one.
At least one wife. Half a dozen to a dozen kids in there,
every one of them crushed to death.
Crushed to death in Job's home amidst ashes,
and their boils just, you can still see,
they can't even have an open casket funeral, and there's no land to bury them in,
because it's covered in shit and dead animals,
and it's just horrific, and Job comes back back and it's almost like he sees it on
the horizon and he's like oh no no no no no and he sprints over there and he's oh
no Jesus oh god and he tears his clothes probably tearing a few of those like
pustules off as well because he's so overtaken by grief and he's just sitting in the burnt out remains of his
home and he's just
rubbing soil and ash
onto himself and as this is
happening it pans
up to heaven and it
shows God and Satan sitting there
and God goes see
I told you he wouldn't betray
me and it
ends
and the devil looks to God and says, well, you won again.
Here you are.
One dollar.
There's no redemption.
There's no redemption at the end.
At the end of the day, God doesn't even step in and tell Job what happened.
He didn't even step in and be like, hey, Job, it's been a lot of nonsense.
Just to let you know, you were a pawn in my game and we won you know hooray uh but really sorry about that
he doesn't even step in he doesn't even call back and let him know what happened he just lets him
live the rest of his shitty life in squalor so uh so he did win the bet and if you can find if you if you can find some kind of moral in there other than like
don't trust deities i don't know don't trust god because he'll sell you out for a little street
cred for the to the lord of darkness himself his whole family went to a better place i am a better
friend to you than that that's horrible if i were to tell the people at fucking a Tex-Mex
restaurant that it was your birthday so we could
get free dessert, I would feel
bad about that, much less sabotaging
your whole life to win a bet where nothing
was wagered. Like, if you own
everything in existence and you can summon
things just by will,
what could you possibly bet?
Like, how could it be fun to bet
if you already know the end game?
I don't know, but it's an interesting story, and I probably got some of it right.
I probably got some of it right.
That sounds all, like, factually exactly like the way I remember it from Sunday school.
Like, that's absolutely right.
I remember the preacher talking about him.
He specifically talked about being in the soot and the ashes and how he's rubbing that all over his body.
And wailing, praying the whole time.
Forgive me for whatever I've done to deserve this, Lord.
That's his whole thing, the whole time that he's suffering.
Terrible, terrible story.
I can't find the moral there.
I don't get it.
It makes me feel real bad.
Perhaps my parents will call me and tell me why it's good.
Oh, yeah.
I'd love to hear from them exactly what the story of Job has taught them in life.
It's probably like, don't fuck with God.
Your dad's like, don't gamble.
Clearly, don't gamble.
Ever.
Not once.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm not getting the moral in this one.
There's something in there.
There's something.
There's something in there. There's something. It's not really a moral lesson
as much as it is a warning
of what is to come
if you defy.
No, he didn't even defy God. He did everything right.
I feel like the lesson is don't be unlucky.
Yeah.
You know?
Don't be some
overachiever who...
Don't stand out. Don't be some overachiever who like... Yeah, don't stand out.
Don't stand out.
Always don't succeed.
You know, God might let you down in the pinch,
but you know who won't?
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I didn't know if you were going to say it, but then you said.com.
I'm like, oh, that's where you go.
I don't know if any of you held up flowers during that thing, um i i'm in the lace i don't have any of my flowers but they are very nice every time they've
come they're very lush they're coming from like local greenhouses in your area in many cases so
like you know you're getting these things and they seem like they just got chopped or cut or
like they're incredibly high quality flowers yeah they're the best flowers i've ever received and i
haven't received many but but I have bought enough.
And of the ones I've even bought from the florist, it's not as nice.
Like these look like they got cut five minutes before they got here.
And even the ones that I got like a week ago that are dying because they're flowers and it was a week,
Melissa hung them upside down and is drying them out because I guess that's something you do.
I don't know if you grind it up and make some sort of elixir or if it's just supposed to look good.
Yeah, I asked my girlfriend about this.
I was like, what can we do with these flowers because they look so nice
and we have so many. We've got six dozen.
And she was like, well,
you can hang them upside
down and dry them out or whatever
but you can also...
But that seemed dumb to me because then you just look at them.
I wanted to make potpourri.
You misspelled potpourri.
Yeah, let's keep going.
Potpourri.
Potpourri.
Yeah.
That's when, like, the pope gets a little frisky.
Now he's getting a little potpourri.
His shorthand for touching children.
Potpourri.
That's when a cat gets high.
That's funny.
That's not how you spell it either.
No. No. Keep going.
O for two.
I'm digging the flowers.
It's nice to have that many flowers around.
They smell nice in my house and they look nice too.
They look very nice.
What was the smile guarantee they have?
Is that what it is?
They have a 100%
smile guarantee, I believe.
A smile guarantee?
Did you smile?
Did I smile?
No, but I didn't pay for mine, so it doesn't matter.
Not the direction I thought you'd go with that softball.
I call him like I see him.
How hard can it be to make me smile?
We should make our own guarantees for the podcast.
Just things that you can't really quantify,
but it helps.
Guaranteed not to cause.
Or the keep your head up statements.
Guarantee.
I don't know.
Just things you can't quantify, but it sounds good.
That's what we need.
Anyway.
Yeah.
These flowers are guaranteed
to make you look at them.
It'll happen.
I actually scientifically plotted
the points at which people looked at me.
It just doesn't add up, guys.
I'm sorry.
No? Sorry.
Are you still working on potpourri over there there chis is trying to spell potpourri i just see dr chis is typing dr chis it's exactly like he's
sitting at home just mad mad drinking scotch quickly running his hair through wiry hair
quickly losing because of stress because he can't figure out where the tea goes on potpourri oh jesus christ cheers hashtag suck yeah you hop in cheers okay i got a question it's from
ask reddit what is legitimately better than sex if you're in the right mood like something like
chicken wings definitely i was gonna yeah if i'm if it's cold enough clothes fresh from the dryer I'm
trying to think of some of the greatest things what clothes fresh from slightly
warm clothes my top you know it's better delightful things. I'm cool on a winter's day.
That is better than blowing a load of
I might not be very good at sex.
The first fall leaf.
I would
100% trade
sex for
not just a good steak, but
a really good steak.
That once every four to five months think that you go out and
get that you're just like you set aside the whole night for that state you don't
take your stomach with any other food like that's
that's absolutely better than sex yeah it can be
I'm a yeah I was in my head and on your current mood
10 exactly that's the thing it done it it's continued on your current mood. Exactly, that's the thing.
It's contingent on your current mood.
That's exactly it.
What else?
I don't know.
Sports are often better.
Some of the cooler things... Oh, what the shit?
His site did get jacked.
Sorry.
Ted Cruz's site.
Yeah, it redirects to Hillary Clinton's fucking...
That's outstanding.
Like, flying underneath a helicopter is better than sex.
Like, being dangled underneath a helicopter and swinging around with a machine gun.
That one, like, full of anxiety or full of, like...
Have you gone skydiving?
Uh-uh.
I've just been banged a few times.
Close enough.
Like, I'm sure that...
Like, anything that gives you that absurd rush, I'm sure, is better than sex.
Yeah, it was so much fun.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was a lot of fun.
And anything with a helicopter.
I've hunted from the helicopter.
That was a ton of fun.
I think that's better.
I think shooting those pigs from the helicopter is better than sex.
That sounds so...
God, I feel dirty already saying that.
It sounds so awful.
Yeah, man.
One time we got in a Robinson. 22 flying about 45 kicks off the ground.
Took out a few big old boars
with our machine guns.
Better than six.
I don't want that to be me,
but it really was a ton of fun.
I've been in a helicopter a couple times.
I don't really like it that much.
The first time I did.
I'm done with it now.
It's a cool little novel thing.
I like it a lot.
I've been in a few times.
I've filmed from them, and I've been in them, and I've shot out of them a few times.
And I've been on some helicopter tours.
I really like it because I usually start bullshitting with my pilot and see what he's made out of.
And sometimes it's just a guy that I'm like, just take it easy, man.
Do your best, all right?
We're all counting on you.
And then sometimes the guy, I'm like, how many hours you got?
Hours? I've been flying
since NAMM. And he's just like,
and he's like,
he's like in and out, and like
just seems like he's a master at this
thing. Like he can fly it sideways.
He's flying, and he's using
every axis, if that makes sense.
Like he's not moving in
straight lines. We talked about video games and how newbies move forward
and then turn their head.
Well, it's a helicopter.
There's a few more axes to deal with.
We're going up and down and left and right and side to side,
and he is doing all those things simultaneously
to do exactly what we need to do to do our thing.
And I'm just like, fuck yeah, I feel completely safe with that guy.
But my cousin was cameraman-ing out of a Robinson 22 one 22 one time and that guy when we asked him how many hours he kind of scoffed and was like
man i got i got several hundred hours don't be worried about me and he like ended up in the wash
of the robinson 44 i think it was and nearly crashed his fucking helicopter like so those
things that's it's the most dangerous Vietnam experience too yeah
literally the guy with special forces in Vietnam and we were flying a Vietnam Air Huey with a
minigun and we just did fucking like pass after pass after pass they were shooting a minigun and
they were I guess incendiary rounds are those the ones that light up and uh like they didn't hit the
tower the first couple times so they just did like on
purpose so that they could get the shot and then they eventually did and i'm there like filming it
and being involved and stuff and uh i uh i don't know it's just like after a while you're like dude
like we've done this 10 times we've been up here for 50 minutes uh can we just hit it and land
don't even feel well anymore i I don't have that experience.
And there was a power line.
I guess he had it all taken care of,
but there was a power line that we missed by whatever, 20 feet, 10 times.
It's like, dude,
if we do this 100 times, he'll hit it once.
That's how I felt.
Not my power line.
That's always
the way I feel about it. I ask
who owns what and what are the liabilities
involved.
Sometimes we're shooting. You're in the helicopter.
Do you think that that goes well if the helicopter
gets hooked on a power line?
Hooked? Oh, I thought you were talking about gunfire.
Yeah, we weren't in...
I thought you meant that you're shooting
and the bullets are hitting near the power line.
I see. That's a terrifying situation.
Helicopters are not good at handling
mid-air collisions with anything.
Even my rifle had a shell catcher on it.
The shells go into a little pouch on the side.
Because we're worried that
rounds could deflect up into the blades
and it would be a major issue.
It could cause a crash.
A Robinson.22 is so small that you fold the rot blades and it would be a major issue could cause a cause a crash because Robinson 22 is so small that you like fold the
Rotors and shit up and then haul it behind a pickup truck down the highway like it this thing is tiny
When you get in it like my if the seat is narrower than my ass is
like you mostly cut you put like your left butt cheek on the seat and kind of put your leg out on the
whatever that landing leg of the helicopter thing is and kind of
lean out and like
I don't know it's a really really
really tiny thing I would compare it to like
How many people can be in there? Two. Fucking two
people. It's me and the pilot. Yeah.
There are bigger helicopters
and they do that hog hunting sometimes with the bigger
helicopters where you can have like four or five people
in there so you've got like a door open
and two guys shooting out the same door but the way i did it is the fucking cool way because
like you know you got to set up just like this with uh with um a mic so that you can talk to
your pilot over the all the the noise it's because it's incredibly loud and i'm shooting a gun most
of the time but i can be like oh yeah yeah lower lower lower stop stop stop right there right there
rotate rotate faster faster faster, faster.
And he's just keeping up with me as well as can ever be expected.
Just putting us right on this pig.
And it was like fish in the barrel, but I hate those pigs.
They're kind of like cockroaches in Texas.
So it's a lot of fun.
A lot of fun.
We should do that sometime.
I want to find some way to get paid to do it, but I'd be happy just to pay to do it.
That does sound like a lot of fun.
Tucker, where do you live now?
You said you moved recently?
Yeah, I moved up to Portland, Oregon.
You there by yourself?
No, I live with Sonia, my girlfriend.
Gotcha.
How long have you guys been together now?
Three years now.
Sounds serious.
We're getting up there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, moving in is usually that step. So we'll getting up there. Yeah. Moving in is usually
that step.
We'll see.
Did you guys live together before
you moved? Before Oregon?
No, no, no.
She moved in
about a month and a half
before we moved up here.
It's only been about
eight months total so it's not
been too long but there's not been any i mean i don't know why people make such a big deal out
of it it's really just not it's just seeing each other more i guess i guess you can get on people's
nerves and you find out more about the person but it seemed pretty seamless to me so that's good
so yeah yeah good good news good news. What was I going to say?
How do you like the city compared to where you were before?
Yeah, like, what's the whole situation?
Like, are you in the city, the country?
Do you have a house, an apartment?
Yeah, so we're renting a house right now.
We're, like, you know, without giving too much detail away so people can find me.
We do live, like, we're not in downtown Portland.
Like, that's just not feasible.
We're a little bit out.
And it's nice.
It's just the one thing that I miss because we lived in L.A.
We lived in Santa Monica.
And the accessibility to everything from just being able to call up somebody and within 20 minutes have them deliver me anything I want from Thai food to Chipotle
to Whole Foods with all these services available.
It was awesome. But we don't have reliable Uber pickup here.
It's only downtown, downtown that you can get a ride within five minutes.
It takes seven or eight minutes more here.
I just miss the conveniences of a big city,
but I'd trade all of that for a house with AC in a nice area.
I like it out here a lot
yeah there's good balance between city and like i'm on the edge of the city so if i hypothetically
wanted uber i have that and i'm near like the state capital and whatever facilities that might
need or pro hockey or something but i'm also like because i'm on the edge of it i'm like five miles
from the nearest hardware store and like where i it, I'm like five miles from the nearest hardware store.
And like where I was previously, I was like five blocks from one.
And I kind of miss some of the stuff that comes along with Elbow Room.
But yeah, I mean, that's really it.
It's just the convenience.
Like we're not that far.
I mean, the grocery store is legitimately within walking distance and stuff like that.
But it's, you know, we don't have a yard very much
of a yard so i kind of miss because i grew up you know with like a good acre of land so i kind of
miss having that like personal space boundary between you and the house we didn't have that
in la of course but we got a little more but it's still enough that you know if i spit out my window
i could i'm spitting into the neighbor's yard here so i'd like i'd like a little bit more space
minor things minor things you know yeah you figure out what you want it's good that you're you know
renting and bouncing from place to place if you do eventually put roots it won't be you know just
because it's like first thing we found you know right yeah be what you're really that's the goal
you know i don't like i just uh i didn't i I really, really didn't want to hang out in L.A. much longer.
Just the cost of everything is just so exorbitant.
And when you, especially when you were not growing up in L.A., you're not, I mean, I spent four years there, or three years.
So I felt like I was used to it.
But, like, you know, go back home or you go anywhere else, no matter where.
And you're just like, unless it's San Francisco, you're just like holy shit your food's cheaper here like movie i went to a movie and i paid eight dollars
a ticket and i shit myself i was like this is affordable and i would go to movies instead of
the 22.50 matinee that it costs to go to is it really 22.50 that's if you go to the why even go
that's what i said why even go and that's Why even go? Especially if you bring a person.
You know, like, you bring a family
and all of a sudden you're in for nearly a hundred bucks.
Well, that's what we used to joke.
I was like, Sonny would be like,
let's go out to dinner and a movie. And I'm like,
well, you know, that's like a $250
night out for like
four hours of entertainment.
Why don't we just order food again
and rent a movie on Redbox
and we'll have fun here.
It's really
de-incentivizing to go to anything there.
It's just super expensive for
supporting your local industry.
It's $22.50
a ticket for me.
I think there's another couple bucks
service charge because I use Fandango to purchase
my tickets.
It comes to $50 for me and my girlfriend And then I think there's like another couple bucks service charge because I use Fandango to purchase my tickets. Yeah, $250 or so.
Yeah, so it comes to like $50 for me and my girlfriend to go to the movies.
And then, you know, dinner at at least another $40, I'd say, especially by the time you get tip in there.
So it's at least $100 to go out, you know.
But, you know, I guess I'm fine with that, though, because I feel like that's what my date cost when I was 16 years old.
I remember being 16 years old and going on a date, and I had like $150 what my date cost when I was 16 years old. I remember being 16 years old and going on a date and I had like $150 in my pocket and I felt comfortable.
I was like, no matter what happens, I can take care of it. Because I feel like if you're
going on a date and you've got $25, $50, $68, you know, it's like that Dave Chappelle scene
from Half Baked where he's got like $3 and he's going on a date and he's trying to find ways to make it work.
And there's like a running tally of how much money is in his pocket.
And at one point, he robs like a blind man from his cup and the thing goes back up again.
But even as a 16-year-old, I felt like $150 in my pocket.
It doesn't matter where this date goes.
I got it.
And I guess it's still true now
and I'm almost 30. I don't mind it.
It's $50 but it's
IMAX and I usually go to the
3D thing and it's a whole experience anyway.
It would be nice if it were
cheaper. I remember watching Jurassic Park
when I was a kid and it was like
$5.50 for adults and maybe $3.50
for us kids or something.
That's over
it's just
a little Chris man
would you pay more to be able to watch movies
that are in I think there's a service
where I can't remember
Chiz maybe knows more about it but you'll
be able to watch box office movies
at home for like a large fee
depends on the large fee if it's
the same price as going to a move i
will never say yeah that 50 bucks yeah let's say the new james bond movie comes out new james bond
comes out just came out instead of going to that midnight release if you're a big bond fan yeah
50 bucks like a people you everybody bodies like just watch him at I did pop the the whole
would be going to be what it takes to get me to get into a movie theater is
that movie
asked to be something that I can't like
that that movie has to be something that I can't I can't
get the same experience on my cell phone or like a like home theater system like
I have to be able to feel shit you know so
yeah after the movie thing I don't know system. I have to be able to feel shit. Yeah. I feel you.
The movie thing, I don't know.
You've got to get your home theater game stepped up.
I feel like I feel it there better than the movies.
That's where it's at. Good times.
Well, I have to be hopping off
early this week. I have a couple things.
I have to get done. Very busy day tomorrow.
I believe you have a gynecologist appointment
in the morning, right? Well, it takes so long to get in, I can't afford to miss it. Very busy day tomorrow. I believe you have a gynecologist appointment in the morning, right? Well, it takes so long
to get in, I can't afford to miss it.
So, anyway,
I have to hop off. Tucker,
it was a lot of fun catching up. Thank you.
But, uh,
definitely.
Are we seeing what?
For me, it looks like
both of you are having bandwidth issues.
Well, actually, no. I thought you are having bandwidth issues. Well actually...
Yeah, I thought you were having bandwidth issues.
Is it just me or can you guys see each other fine?
No, no. I'm hearing it. So I see everyone but everything degraded slightly.
And Tucker kind of started getting row body sounding.
Oh, you guys did the same thing too.
What else do we want to talk about here? What have we got cooking?
What's in that pot?
What's stewing?
I need to fix the layout.
Oh, that's right, because this is all live, like live recorded.
I forgot.
Yeah, see, sometimes people are like, you should just have a three box and a four box or whatever.
It's like, no, they all shift.
And here's Chiz.
It's a different size box than you two.
I'd really need like 17 combinations to handle all the things.
Kyle's in the Tucker spot.
It's just chaos here.
Set up some more overlays, man.
So I want to talk about some of the things that I would like to do.
Go on.
So we've got the knives are out now.
If anyone's listening to this, they're virtually out.
I guess no.
Some of you maniacs I know will be listening to this in just a short few hours when I'm speaking these words.
So this doesn't apply to you crazies, but thank you so much for supporting what we do with Patreon.
Link down below.
But for the rest of you, Friday, Eastern, the knives are coming out.
So that thing is done.
The hot sauce is being shipped to me.
Soon that will be on the store. Friday, Eastern, you know, the knives are coming out. So that thing is done. The hot sauce is being shipped to me.
Soon that will be on the store.
So some other things that I've got in the works that I think would,
not that those things were entirely me.
It's kind of a team effort.
But some other things that I think we should do,
I would like to do the in-person PKA.
I'd like to do that meetup sometimes whenever I get out of this fucking slum hole here.
And I would like to, I'd like to re, I don't know.
I don't like that idea anymore.
What is the idea you don't like anymore?
I'll type it.
Okay.
That thing.
But I would like to do the in-person PKA,
and I'd like to maybe... Oh, I lost my train of thought.
There was a thing that I thought we could all do together.
I'm trying to remember what it was.
The in-person PKA?
Was it something at Wing's house?
Was it a shooting thing?
Was it a...
I don't remember.
So the in-person PKA I think would be fun,
but it's a different kind of fun.
It's what we do normally,
but a thousand times better in my opinion
because we're there and we're all in the same room,
the same space.
I think it would look better than any of these have looked before and it would sound better and it would come off better i think would be more fun um but i i'd like to do something
where we all went somewhere and did it uh too i think that would be fun uh like not necessarily
paintball or um you know i know we go back to this tons and tons of times i don't it doesn't
happen necessarily be a thing that the fans come and do with us.
Or maybe they could, but we're not expecting it to be 100 or 200 fans
like we do with Paintball.
We don't build up a whole thing.
Maybe we just go somewhere and do a thing.
I don't know.
I'd like to do that too.
You know, just throw an experience on there.
We'll go to – well, I'll meet at Tucker's house.
He'll find out where it is.
Yeah, and we'll just have everybody over.
Everybody.
Shut it down.
You'll see the place.
We'll party in his backyard and partially his neighbor's backyard.
Yeah, it would be a lot of my neighbor's backyard.
I would like to, I would like to maybe go to Canada and do a thing.
Or, or.
Hockey, perhaps.
I would go to Cuba.
I think that would be fun. I would go to some sort of playoff hockey game.
You know, maybe some...
Hey, if the Blues went to the finals,
maybe we could go to one of those games.
I'm sure nobody will be there.
That sounds right.
You won't see this.
Taylor's not going to watch this.
We're safe. I never watch these.
Do you ever go back and watch these?
Sometimes, yeah.
Sometimes, like, what happens –
I know we'll go back and watch a segment.
That's what I was going to say.
Like, a segment might get linked on PKA, or maybe I'm just, like, reviewing it or thinking it.
Sometimes I'll say something insane that seems normal on the show, but when it gets tweeted back to me, like, you know, whatever.
And I'm like, I can't believe I said that last night.
Like, somehow I get partially drunk on this show when I'm not at all.
And then I'll, like, it'll hook me.
Like, I'm watching it and watching it.
And I'll be like, you know, I can kind of see why people like this.
You know, like, this is flowing.
And that's when I watch it again.
I never do.
I don't read any of the comments.
I don't go on Reddit or any of that stuff.
I'm zero feedback.
You can leave comments right now and Kyle won't see them.
I always read your comments.
After every show, I always go back.
I got to make sure I didn't fuck anything up.
Make sure people don't hate me too much.
You're one of the favorites.
Yeah. Somehow, unsurprisinglyprisingly it seems to be the case but like i'll never touch my own comment section like my videos i don't give a shit like i'm not really ever i've been active in my comments
on mine um and then there's a there's a couple things about that uh one i just feel like i give
back a little you know if i'm doing a vlog channel I feel like part of it's connecting with the people.
And you reply to the comments.
The other thing is when you reply to a comment, it becomes like a top comment because you replied to it.
And I feel like I can set the tone.
So if someone says something nice, I might say thank you.
And then I have a nice comment at the top, which is cool.
No, that makes sense.
The feedback on the vlog.
Back in the day, that was more important than it is now because now it seems like
people are being very nice to me which wasn't the case four years ago things
change people change yeah people grow up past the age of 14 so yeah oh I remember
I really want to do a live stream where we play a game or do a thing.
It doesn't – of some kind.
I was trying to pitch that the other night.
So just to get this clear, 99% of the time I am the weak link in live streaming.
But I forget what it was.
Maybe two days ago.
It was recent, and I wanted to live stream, and it just seemed to fall flat.
What was that, flying?
It could have been.
I don't know.
Yeah, Kyle is the opposite. You're like, hey, i got a hankering for a big old live stream and like i'm i'm mid-flight to la or
something like that i i ask about two or three times a week i i usually send a text it's like
looks like a good day for a live stream it'll be like saturday at noon or something like that
seems like a good time for a live stream nobody ever replies nobody says i
kind of want my channel to be the vlogging in the podcast like that's in i don't want to just like
slip in random like can't we do like i don't want to i was thinking like like twitch though like no
i'm with you i'm with you i just wanted to throw this out there too like like chiz was like oh we
gotta upload gameplay of this and there was some game where I guess I've seen it in GIF form.
There's like a penis and balls.
And you drive around and you try to get like in between the balls, which I guess is like the.
Yeah, it's what is it?
Penetrator?
Penetrate?
I know what you're talking about.
You make a big dick train.
Yeah, yeah.
And I'm guessing I haven't.
I don't really know.
I've only seen like GIFs of it.
But it seems like a musical chairs thing.
Like maybe you don't want to be last or I don't know. But I've only seen gifs of it, but it seems like a musical chairs thing. Maybe you don't want to be last
or I don't know. But how do you win?
What's the objective?
It's like a Gar.io.
It's like you're a dick, so you
swim and you try and fuck the dick
in the butt and then you control
whoever's dick that was and you have
two dicks and then you just try
and dick the other dicks.
And then when somebody gets you,
now you lost control, I guess?
Yeah. There's another game called
Slither.io, and you're a snake.
And you make a turn,
you don't need to
turn like that. You start
turning, and it feeds
turns. So you've got to
plan your trajectories really carefully
because you're always trying to eat other snakes and become them.
And of course you can do that
thing in the other game where you
lose part of your mass to accelerate.
You can do that thing.
So what I was trying to say is
if we were to do a PKA Plays or something
I could see uploading it as unlisted.
Maybe for the Patreons. Maybe put it on the subreddit.
I don't know. But I don't really want
just like Dick and Ball's video games on my channel like it's not understandable you've moved you
moved away from this yeah yeah so um you know like i'm down to play it you know we could do
whatever with it but i'm like you know you guys can't just like decide to update Dick and Paul's genital jousting on there.
I've changed it a bit.
But, yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway, somehow that got in my head.
Interesting.
Yeah, the bit rate's getting bad.
Yeah, we're having some connectivity issues or something.
It's raw, raw, raw, raw.
Yeah.
So, for me, I'm seeing it for both of you,
which... Chiz's host?
I'm guessing.
I don't know.
It's gotta be Chiz. He's the weak link.
Blame him.
But yeah, I see it for both of you guys,
so it can't be mine.
Or it could be mine, but that doesn't make sense
if you guys are all seeing the same shit.
Right, yeah. That's good. Hey, Chiz, hold on. Talk for a second so we can see if it's you. be mine but that doesn't make sense if you guys are all seeing the same shit so right yeah that's
good i don't know hey chis hold on talk for a second so we can see if it's you dicks
that sounded robot-y to me right i don't know maybe longer sound bite i don't yeah
no no dice guys
close enough
holy shit
oh you would link a fucking
it ends with request timeout
so it's dropping some packets
of course what do you know
yeah
are you gonna ever go back to networking?
Are you going to ride this train until, I mean, you're retiring in like one year.
Right.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Sometimes I think, you know, I should go back.
I could, you know, like I'd only take the right job, of course.
And, you know, like it might be neat, like a sense of purpose or something to work for somebody and like, I don't know,
drive some division somewhere. And, uh, then like the other day, for example, forget what I did.
Maybe I worked on it. I worked on something in the stable. I don't know what it was. And the sky was
beautiful. And like, I just sort of wrapped up and i was walking back to the house across the compound and i was just like i'm not meant to be in an office like i love this and um you know that's
like it it's one of the things i really he's gonna be a farmer it's coming he just doesn't
know it yet he is going to end up being like a cattle farmer or like a sheep her it won't be it
won't probably not cattle it'll be some sort of like politically correct farming like i feel i can imagine him shearing sheep or
something like that like like that's coming it is it just is i can see it happening but um uh yeah
and i really like deciding what to do with my time mostly. You know, like I guess everybody here does that to some extent.
You're busy.
You've got things to do.
Tucker, how much time do you spend streaming?
I stream four to six hours a day every day.
Huh.
So you might not want to say it,
but I bet there's moments where you're like, you know,
time to bake the donuts, right?
Like time to get on stream?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, that happens all the time.
It's not because I don't like it.
It's just because it's, you know, maybe I'm just not feeling like a thousand bucks today.
I'm just like, well, time to boot up stream because I have a schedule.
I try to follow it.
And then plus people, they only want to see the best version of you, right?
You know, like maybe 10 minutes before stream.
What's that?
Are you?
Oh, I blame Chiz.
Can you hear me now?
So what I was going to say is
they only want to see the best version of you.
They don't want to see you like,
I'm frustrated.
I'm down. I'm sad today.
No, you got to...
You're Tucker. You bring the energy.
I'm here for your energy.
True.
True.
So you got to do the thing yeah well it's what makes you happy i mean even if i'm a
bad mood and you hop on it'll almost always considerably make my mood a lot better but like
i can i always get that same scent like ideas well i'm like shit you know how nice like i see
one of my friends from back home is like taking the weekend to go to
New York, and I'm like, I wish I could take the weekend
to go to New York. Oh, I can do that,
but I'm not going to because I don't have, like,
a day, two days off. Like, that's not
a thing. It's just kind of like, I'm not working
that day. It's not a day off. It's a difference.
You know, I would like to be, it would be nice
sometimes to have that. It's 5pm.
I don't give a shit about anything
that I just did for the last eight hours until 9am.m tomorrow but that's feeling far between you know yeah when i worked
for somebody else sometimes i had days off right days where i literally didn't do anything for that
company you know i think it was even typical every saturday and sunday i didn't work. And now every day I work. It's not always eight hours or anything, but
like there's never a day where I don't have to pop onto Woody Craft and answer some question
or complaint or whatever. There's never a day where I don't have to, you know, of course
now I'm vlogging five days a week, so that's a lot. Last week I did a, like I felt like
I didn't have great content or at least enough content, so I did two days into one.
So that's kind of like vlogging six days a week.
You know, it's – so yeah, this concept of days off, like I haven't had a real day off in six years, seven years, something like that.
Yeah.
Yep.
But that's just the way things work.
Yeah.
You do something long enough enough it doesn't matter
how much you enjoy it there's going to be a time where you're like shit this other place looks like
it would be fun if i could just take this one aspect for a little bit and use it you know
on the other hand i bet none of us would really trade like all right yeah how would you like to
be a nurse you know now you're going to be a nurse you're going to deal with like people's
emergencies and worst days all the time you're doing good for the world and there's some satisfaction in that.
But 12 hour shifts are normal.
I just hate that argument because a lot of people all complain.
If I complain about anything, I'm bound to have somebody be like, well, why don't you
shut the fuck up?
I flip burgers.
And it's like, well, you're right.
If you look at it that way, I will never trade what I've got in my job and what I've been doing and all this stuff.
I would never trade it for something else. But like, that doesn't mean that I have to be a hundred
percent satisfied with every single aspect of everything about life. Like, you know, there's
things that I fundamentally would like to experience once in a while, like a day off where
I legitimately don't have to, or feel like I need to care about you know streaming or YouTube or any anything outside of
that as well just that would be nice doesn't mean that I would ever trade my
job for a job that would give me that but it you know I'm allowed to complain
without being unsatisfied I guess is my my one qualm that I always get called
out for you Well, it seems
like the net connection's not coming back.
Yeah, this is weird.
Well, I do need to tell
everyone before we say goodnight.
Thanks again to
Loot Crate, the monthly subscription box
for geeks, gamers, and pop culture nerds.
The release of Captain America Civil War features
a clash of epic proportions
and that makes May the perfect time to get the spotlight on characters and items of great power.
So you only have until the 19th at 9 p.m. Pacific to subscribe and receive that month's crate.
And when the cutoff happens, that's it.
It's over, so go to dotcomspankkiller and uppercutkiller to set free files on your subscription today.
Limited time.
Can I read that, that too just in case the
audio didn't work out would you link that for me um yes i will sorry about that i just
can't hear nothing can't hear you it's uh yeah
all right so as as Kyle was saying
Thanks again to Loot Crate
The monthly subscription box is for geeks, gamers
And pop culture nerds
The release of Captain America Civil War features a clash of epic proportions
That makes May the perfect time
To put the spotlight on characters
And great items of great power
You only have until the 19th
At 9pm Pacific to subscribe
And receive that month's Loot Crate
and when the cutoff happens, that's it.
It's over. So go to lootcrate.com
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So, there it is.
Get out of here, fucking shit!
We're underwater right now.
You can't hear it, but I'm recording locally,
which you probably can't hear me say this,
so the audience will have got what they needed to get.
That's why I read it.
All right, so that was Painkiller Already,
episode 281 with Jericho and Kyle.
Thanks for tuning in, guys.