Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #283
Episode Date: May 27, 2016This week on PKA, Daymond from DaymDrops Food Reviews joins us and kills it! The guys talk about retro gaming, the life of a food reviewer and then Daymond recounts PKA with some stories from when he ...was a repoman back in the day!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Alright, we're live.
Painkiller already, episode 283.
Yeah, we want to thank all our sponsors tonight.
Blue Apron, Total War Warhammer,
Tracker, MVT, and of course, Wendy's.
Right now I'm talking to, I'm not talking to just everyone.
I'm talking to you.
That's because Wendy's Jalapeno Fresco Spicy Chicken Sandwich
is so flavorful and so hot, it's not for everyone.
It's just for you.
We tried it, and we loved it.
It's made from Colby Jack cheese, fresh jalapenos, ghost pepper sauce,
and a toasted jalapeno bun.
And for those of you who really want to turn up the heat,
you'll want to check out Wendy's ghost pepper fries.
So go get one today.
The jalapeno fresco spicy chicken sandwich is only available
for a limited time at participating Wendy's.
So go make that happen.
It's crispy.
That's right up our guest's alley guests alley actually is a spicy cheeseburger
like that it's a chicken sandwich yeah man i gotta say i've i i've watched a lot of your videos
i really like them i myself i i believe i'm a connoisseur of fast food restaurants burgers
and that sort of thing five guys is the top tier for me so like i've seen that video a dozen times
at least i love that shit.
I love that you made a channel around that.
Tell us how that started.
You know what?
When you actually watch commercials, when anybody's doing a quick service fast food commercial,
nine times out of ten, I don't honestly believe it.
I don't really think the individual doing the commercial enjoys what they're doing,
but they enjoy that check.
So what I wanted to do, I kind of wanted to create a channel where I can give you the real. doing the commercial enjoys what they're doing but they enjoy that check so what
I want to do I kind of wanted to create a channel where I can give you the real
if I don't like something I'm gonna tell you I don't like I'm gonna throw it away
in the video but if something is amazing I'm gonna break down how amazing that
bird all right all right chicken sandwich I'm afraid to ask let me touch
on that what have you thrown away on camera and be like don't even bother
I remember i'm gonna
take it back i'm gonna go all the way back to 2010 on you when subway came out with the barbecue
pulled pork sub i'm excited to go back to 2010 this was when i was still using foul language
in my food reviews uh-huh i cussed all through that whole time I called it raccoon and possum meat. It was the worst thing ever.
And I destroyed it in the video.
Another video where I threw something away
when Burger King tried to mess around.
They came up with the french fry burger.
There was a garbage can you could see clearly
behind me. I got out of my vehicle,
threw it away at Burger King
in their trash can. In the video.
Trying to shame
the actual employees there waiting for them
to look over before you throw it away
you know what's horseshit like that is the mcrib i don't know if you're like one of the mcrib
fans because a lot of people are but holy shit that is disappointing To bite into a McRib and get that weird cough syrup texture on top of that,
I don't even know, retired circus animal meat that they grind up and press into that.
It's just horrific.
Did you see that thing where they got, I can't remember his name,
the Asian guy from the Mythbusters who seems to be one of the more tech-based guys.
Ah, Chen.
Okay, yes, Chen, of course.
McDonald's must have given him a huge fucking check.
This goes back to what you said a minute ago
about these guys are kind of bought
when they're doing these commercials
because he's doing this scientific review
of what goes into a McRib and the McRib process,
and he's really signing off on it the whole time.
He's like, hey, look at this.
This is good meat.
Yeah, these are good chunks of meat
they're grinding up into a pulp and then pressure forming into a rib patty when i was a kid and i saw that
rib patty and i saw the mcrib and you know i'm seven eight years old i'm getting my happy meal
in the back seat in my head even then i was like what do they do about the bones like like you
can't have a a rack of ribs on a sandwich. That doesn't work. Like what do people do?
Because and I just I didn't understand it until I was like maybe 14 15 and I actually saw one up close and personal
Because my family aren't white trash. We don't eat McRibs. And so when I finally saw one up close
I was like this is bullshit. They just this is like potted meat product or something
Forced in pressure formed and they put they put fake griddle marks on it,
which is just a real slap to your intelligence.
You think somebody's back there.
Like smoke coming up over them, red eyes slaving over this thing,
making it just right.
No.
You know what I like is that they put the ridges in there
like it was sitting on a grill, but there's no coloration.
There's no discoloration.
They got to the 50-yard line.
They couldn't drive it home.
Even if they did, it still tastes like
shit. That's depressing.
It sells so well every time they release it
that their stock prices
jump a little bit. It's a huge
thing somehow with McDonald's. McDonald's
knows how to play to the lowest common denominator.
They figured out white trash
America and they know how to get
those white trash dollars a dollar at a time.
They invented the dollar menu. Don't
forget. That's what they do.
They sell you that Australian beef
that's got worms in it and parasites.
They pressure form
ground up meat products
like in their chicken nuggets. That's a pink
slurry before it gets to your table. That's a pink slurry before it gets to your
table. That's a pink slurry. That video you're talking about
I'm just now remembering
the one where Chen
or Grant. Grant is his name.
Nicely done. Grant Imahara
I remembered it. And he was in like
they're trying. McDonald's clearly tried
to do this commercial to be like a documentary
almost like a Scorsese long shot
through the McDonald's thing.
We're like, see, no room for trickery here.
And so he's just walking by every machine like,
aha, meat and real bread.
And looking at the camera almost like insinuating,
like, look at this.
It's all real.
And it's like, this isn't selling me.
This is getting back to the bare minimum
of what it is to be a restaurant,
that you are serving food.
But I don't know. You know, the craziest thing about fast food, what everybody loves about fast food, of course, are the prices. That's the first thing to drive you to fast food. You know, and I
think if by chance you can get more fruits and vegetables at the same price that you can get
a burger or some nuggets.
More individuals would actually go that general route.
But if you know you can grab something off the dollar menu and for $5 get a whole entire
meal and bring that female out for the first time to dinner and you don't have to spend
a whole lot of money and she's happy with something that looks like a whole happy meal,
you're going to go that general route.
I don't think so.
So fast food, it just happens to have that flavor that keeps you coming back for more.
I don't think so.
I think that, like, I bet McDonald's could make a dollar salad menu with four badass
salads that were only a dollar.
Not those four or five dollar salads they keep coming up with apples and, like, pecans
in them.
Those are bullshit salads.
Those always fail, and McDonald's does poorly when they try to do that shit because that's
not their target audience.
Their target audience doesn't want to eat a salad in front of their buddies.
All their buddies are sitting around eating double cheeseburgers on the work site and this foofy motherfucker is over here eating his Cobb salad.
I don't think so.
Nobody's going to do that.
Did Damon just say he takes out new dates to fast food restaurants?
Did that get by him?
No, no, no.
I don't take out dates to fast food restaurants.
It's a write-off for him.
It sounds like you do.
You can't be married that long taking somebody out
to no fast food restaurant. Do you carry her
tray on the big date?
When your pockets are tight, the first thing you're doing,
you're taking somebody out to a fast food
spot. It wouldn't be a four or five star
restaurant when your pockets aren't
looking right. That's usually how it goes down.
Okay.
It's usually pretty deep into a relationship
before I feel comfortable going to a fast food restaurant.
And I'll even say, I remember with my current girlfriend, at one point I was like,
what do you feel about going to Chick-fil-A or something like that?
She's like, yeah, that's fine.
I was like, you sure?
Because we can go to Apple.
So you eased her in.
You started out at Chick-fil-A.
I really started out tired.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, five star all day.
See, you kept saying that the thing about fast food is the price.
And maybe that is is on the large, but for me, the thing that attracts me to fast food is I like really high quality food,
which doesn't usually go hand in hand with fast food, but the few exceptions that there are,
I really like those things. I really like Five Guys a lot because I feel like as far as hamburgers
and french fries go, that's high quality. I always like the more expensive stuff.
I remember when Carl's Jr. or Hardee's, depending on what side of the country you're on,
came out with a $5 burger.
When they first came out with it, that shit was delicious.
That was amazing.
That was the best hamburger I'd ever had from a fast food restaurant.
I feel like it's gone downhill since then, but at the time, I was eating at least four or five of those a week.
I don't even think of Five Guys as fast food, though, to be honest.
I think of that in the same category as Chipotle or Qdoba or something like that.
I think the best actual fast food, meaning you can drive through,
has got to be Chick-fil-A.
That's the only one that I look forward to the flavor of it.
Just a little. Chick-fil-A is good.
I'm actually a Wendy's guy.
I would co-sign that all day.
That's –
Yeah, all sponsorship aside, I know we're sponsored by them this week, but that's where we go. I'm actually a Wendy's guy. I'm going to co-sign that all day. All sponsorship
besides stuff. I know we're sponsored by them this week.
That's where we go. It's where Colin
likes to eat. That's my fast
food restaurant. If I'm going to eat nuggets,
I'll go to Wendy's even though I'm sure they have
a light pink slurry that they use
or something like that.
Chick-fil-A has got
to be the top tier. I know that they've got
its hate chicken. That hate has to be what makes that meat taste sweet because if you eat Chick-fil-A chicken, it's a little sweet.
There's a little sweetness there along with the salty and the savory.
And you don't find that in any other meat.
It can't be the Christian love or anything.
It has to be some hate for gay people.
No, it's a pinch of oppression.
A pinch of oppression.
It's never stringy, and it's never, like, gristly.
I've been into a chicken nugget before and gotten just the tiniest, like, a little piece of sand in there.
I know it's a chunk of bone or a beak or something, though.
That's what it is.
It's a piece of bone or a piece of a beak or something like that, and I just ate it, and I don't really care.
But I never get that at Chick-fil-A.
Really?
That ruins my whole nugget experience if I get one of the foul ones that's got, like, I don't know,
beet cartilage still left in there providing a weak skeletal system.
So for your fast food, you're breaking everything down.
You're going through it with that fine-tooth comb.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, Kyle especially takes fast food very seriously.
I would say he knows more about Taco Bell and not just their current menu itinerary and lists,
but past specials.
I got the Taco Bell app on here
and I'll get on there and
whenever they come up with a new creation,
they'll come up with some wackadoo
Taco Bell creation at the Taco
Bell laboratories down in Mexico
I suppose.
And I'll go and
special order it and they'll be like, what the fuck are you talking
about? And I'll be like, all right, it's right here.
You've got to put it together,
and I know everything you make
has the same five ingredients,
so just do it.
Just do it.
Just put it on.
It's just a different layering process
and some ranchero sauce on top.
Just make it happen.
Do you have lettuce, beans, and cheese back there?
Thank God, because you're covered.
I've been cooked for three things at Taco Bell.
I had them make,
they've got the cheesy fiesta potatoes.
I was like,
take that nachos bel grande thing, that fucking bowl they got i was like fill that
completely up with those cheesy fiesta potatoes put extra cheese and then put ground beef on top
and they were like we can't do that i was like i'll give you six dollars just make it happen
what do you mean you can't do the dollar for you
you can all i mean when it comes to fast food, what I've noticed, a lot of different locations, they're willing to try something new as long as they have the items there to make it happen.
If it's lunch hour and they're rushing, they're not going to do it.
You get there early enough, they'll make it happen for you.
David.
Kind of like a prank video.
I know that's not your thing in any regard.
But, like, if you wanted to, would be to go and see if you could get them to start incorporating some ingredients
that you brought from home into their stuff.
Like, I want the Big Mac, but I brought my own special sauce.
Why don't you put a little bit of this on there?
Hey, keep the bottle.
Trust me, you're going to like it.
Just try to sell them.
It's going to be amazing.
Bring one of those nasty portobello mushrooms and say you want that grilled instead of their meat.
David, you've been on TV?
Which shows have you been on?
Oh, my goodness.
All right, so I've done work with Dr. Oz.
He was actually the first one to reach out to me
after the five guys went viral.
He brought me on twice.
Before Jimmy Fallon took over for Jay Leno,
I did two videos for Jimmy Fallon.
It's funny that you mentioned the McRib because that's one of the videos that I ended up putting on for Jimmy Fallon took over for Jay Leno, I did two videos for Jimmy Fallon. It's funny that you mention the McRib because that's one of the videos that I ended up putting on for Jimmy Fallon.
And, you know, he aired it on the show and all that good stuff.
And recently I've been signed to the Rachel Ray Show as her food correspondent.
And that happened last year.
So that's a repeated deal?
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
We've been rocking out.
Every single month I go out, they put me out in the field, try something new, try something different.
We probably did about 13 episodes together so far.
So this sounds great.
I'm loving this whole success story.
But I want to go back to the beginning of this thing because I doubt that like six years ago you were like, yeah, I'm going to be a food correspondent for Rachel Ray.
I'm going to be on the Late Late Show with Jimmy Fallon a few times.
I do a few videos for him, maybe some McRib stuff.
I don't know.
What were you doing six years ago?
What was the day-to-day job when you were eating that burger at Five Guys?
And then I want to kind of go from, like, how big that blew up and, like, what happened then.
I don't know if you guys remember the Kodak Bloggie because that's exactly what I was using.
720p.
the Kodak bloggy because that's exactly what I was using 720p I'm talking late 2008 early 2009 when I was just kind of shooting up whatever I called a ghetto
news network so that was G a.m. GNN for my channel and I would just kind of film
things that I was seeing the hood this was me coming into a YouTube game like
late 2008 literally once I started working for Walmart as an assistant
manager they had given
all the managers an hour lunch. I had an additional half hour because every job prior to that, I only
had a half hour. So now I got an additional half hour to play with. I'm like, what am I going to
do? So that's when I actually took that Kodak Bloggie and just started filling myself eating
in the car. I didn't know what it was going to be. I had no idea, to be honest with you,
but I threw it up on YouTube because I was throwing everything else up at that time when I say
200 views was the biggest thing for my channel 200 views was the biggest thing people started watching
Me eating and talking about it in the car versus everything else. I was posted
So I was like mama stick with this then and every single week
I will put up one video.
Then people started requesting for me to go to Subway or Wendy's, pick out whatever came out on the menu, do my own little thing about it. And I would do little sketch videos, sketch comedy.
And it started slowly changing as my audience started growing and they started having more requests.
quests. Not until 2012 when I did that Five Guys Burgers and Fries review, three, no, not even three months, four months after I had launched the review, I get a message on my Facebook and
the kid was like, hey, listen, you know, I'm going to take your video and I'm going to just put it
up on a website that I'm familiar with. I was like, you know, do whatever you want to do. I
don't care. The following morning, I'm looking at this video and I remember going to bed and they had 5,000 views just organically by itself before anything
else happened I wake up the following morning to over 50,000 from the 5,000 the
night before and and I'm like well you know what happened you did a larger
youtuber make mention of this particular video and then I started doing my
homework I started searching going back going back my email started blowing up
with new subscriptions.
And I go back to my Facebook, and there's a message on there from this kid that said he was going to put it up.
And he was like, dude, it's from Reddit.
And that was the first time I ever heard about Reddit anything.
So I go to Reddit.
I look for the video.
At that time, it was on the second page, and it was still being voted up.
By the end of that day, it was on the front page of reddit number one on there and i kid you not within a week's time it went from the 50 000
and we were like over 250 000 and that's when i was contacted by andrew gregory of the gregory
brothers and he was like hey man listen we saw your video we loved it here's the link we took
it we auto-tuned it we hope you don't mind if you
like it get back in touch with me i check it out it was called oh my damn i see myself being
photoshopped with silo green i was like okay you know that's all i remember and i'm watching like
yo this is this is kind of hot so i get back in contact with andrew we talk about some things
and the following week that's when everything got crazy.
That's awesome.
Good for you, man.
This sounds great.
I want to know, what kind of video were you making before the food one, that the food one got way more traction?
So when I say I was making Ghetto News Network, I'm talking about there was a time I was working for Rent-A-Center.
And I was in the management program.
So I was the guy that would come to your house and pick up your shit if you didn't pay for your beat.
Oh, you were a ghetto repo man.
Yeah, I was the repo man.
I was the bad guy.
I mean, I did some.
No, you're the good guy.
They're the bad guy.
They didn't pay their rent to television.
You're making things right.
We ought to go in somebody's house and take video game system from kids as they're playing right before Christmas.
That's bad parenting.
I had to do that.
That's not on you.
That's a shitty parent that put that on you.
I hope, I bet you still think about that.
I kind of feel bad, bro.
Yeah, yeah, I would too.
That's a shitty parent though.
Don't feel bad.
He should have boxed that thing up, been like, kids, the PlayStation broke,
lightning must have hit it.
And then he like walks outside and hands it off to you.
Like there was no need for you to come in and trauma and like put that on you
rather than teach about like fiscal responsibility or something the correct
parental move parental move was to box it up and blame it on lightning it's
better than on Damon here like like yeah Damon's here to take your video games
away like the rest of your life anytime they see a guy that looks like Damon, they're like, damn it, Damon.
You want my PlayStation, bitch?
Fuck you.
They're hanging on to their shit, having PTSD.
No, that's a bad parent.
Yeah, teaching fiscal responsibility
would have been the best thing they could have done,
but they don't have to put that on data.
So this is what you were posting?
A recording of you going in and taking a child?
I wouldn't post anything inside the house.
But when I would be outside the house, I would sit there and kind of walk you through whatever it is that I'm about to do.
But I would never film inside anybody's house.
I've seen some things that were film worthy and YouTube worthy, but that was a different time.
And there was something that was so crazy.
I was at a different time. And there was something that was so crazy. Like, I was at, like, a graveyard site.
And literally across the street, it seemed like the hood of graveyard versus we have money graveyard.
Because on the we have money graveyard, you know, the headstones, they look great.
Everything was well manicured.
And if you walked across the street, you had, you know, the headstones kicked over, gravel all over the ground.
Nothing was cut
weeds were growing up where people were dead i was like okay so basically i don't want to die
on this side of hartford connecticut i want to die and be buried over here with everybody else
that you know people are still spending good money but i would film this stuff this is the
stuff that would actually post whatever i seen when i was driving that's the stuff that went
up on the page you You're from Hartford?
Hmm?
You're from Hartford, Connecticut?
I'm actually from Stratford, Connecticut.
Okay.
I've been to Hartford.
I like it there. Oh, yes, yes.
Dude, Hartford's bomb, man.
And I like the Hartford Whalers so much, I wore hockey pants for the next decade after they were gone.
Oh, damn.
You went all out, bro.
Yeah, you know, I commit.
He's a pretend fan.
And the Hartford Whalers, that's funny.
That must have been kind of aggravating to feel like,
because at least if I was in your position,
having a job at Rent-A-Center like that,
where you know that everything you're going out to is going to be video worthy
because it has conflict built right in.
You must have felt like you had the golden ticket right there,
and then a video of you
eating a sandwich is what gets you
popular. That's what got me.
That's so crazy. You must have been a little
aggravated. Like, god damn, I gave you guys way
more than this, and now you just want me to...
I'm going to talk about specials and the number five?
I'm still thinking about this Renicenter thing and how to
actually make that work as an entertaining thing.
Imagine this. Imagine if you wore a
hidden camera the whole time time and then after you've
taken their shit on their doorstep, you're like
maybe they gotta sign something or whatever. You say, hey
you sign this release and I'll give you 20 bucks.
They are in the
they're already in need. It's a
perfect setup. They need that 20 bucks.
If you're there, you could offer them
10. They're broke.
I bet 9 times out of 10 they would sign
the release and give them $20
and you'd have the interior, the conflict, whatever happened.
What's the – you got any Repo Man stories?
Did you ever have any real conflict?
I had to break up a fight.
I remember when I was first training for management position with Rent-A-Center,
I was out with another assistant manager.
She was teaching me the route and all that good stuff we get out there she's banging on the door
and then you know she was just like this is how you got to do you got to bang on the door and you
make sure they come to the door you know they're home just keep banging i'll start out escalating
yo it escalated real fast and she was dead ass in the hood so i'm just looking around waiting for
you know gunshot start
popping off she's banging blah blah blah and the girl's like she comes out the window first she's
like you'll stop that damn banging my grandmother appears sleeping and she was like you're gonna
come out here and pay me or i'm gonna keep on banging she's like i ain't doing so that
she slams the window homegirl the assistant manager just kept on banging at the door this chick came downstairs with a gun
what
yeah she came downstairs with a gun
she opened the door and she was like you bang one more time
I'm gonna shoot you
that's just how the shit went down
I'm at a moment like
is this really happening
I'm gonna die for a recliner
you know what I'm saying
so boom homegirl wasn't even afraid the assistant manager she didn't care that the gun was in homegirl's hand I'm going to die for a recliner. I just don't enjoy it this much. You know what I'm saying? So boom.
Homegirl wasn't even afraid.
The assistant manager, she didn't care that the gun was in Homegirl's hand.
She was like, I want my money.
I was like, damn.
That's the most gangster job ever.
You got the customer there with the heavy hammer about to give you straight work,
and you are determined to get your money for the company.
She was like, yo, I want my money.
And she was like, I'm not giving you shit. You're going to stop banging on my door, or you're going to get shot money for the company. She was like, yo, I want my money. And Tim was like, I'm not giving you shit.
You're going to stop banging on my door, or you're going to get shot.
So, all I know, I'm getting ready to turn and walk the hell away,
go back inside the vehicle, because like I said,
I'm not trying to catch a heavy biscuit over at the center.
That's not happening, right?
I get down to the bottom of the steps, and I kid you not,
I hear the door slam, and that
was the girl with the gun coming outside the door.
Don't know what happened with the gun at this given point, but all I know is she punched
the assistant manager dead ass in her face.
Just punched her.
Like, the whole world stumbled back in there.
So now they're up here fighting, and then I come back upstairs and go to break the whole
entire fight up.
And I wasn't even on the job no more than about two weeks at this time.
This is like my'm a second weekend
Pick up the fight. We finally get back inside the vehicle. Nobody got shot. Nobody got well homegirl got hurt
This is the major got hurt cuz I you know that little connect to the jaw with some heavy work
Okay, did we get the money no
How much money was it do you have do to see. How much money was it? Do you remember?
Hmm? How much money was it? Do you remember?
$37, bro.
Oh, yeah.
I knew it. I knew it.
How much are they paying assistant managers
at Rent-A-Center? Because it's not enough.
Jesus Christ. Almost getting shot.
She gets 10% of that.
That was a $ 370 bonus.
Yeah, that's a great meal, and she can check your channel out for how best to spend it.
That's what you do if you're looking for a real company when you are willing to fight for $37.
That's, you know, okay.
I can appreciate it.
I would have to be like Dog the Bounty Hunter, like with, like, bear spray and, like, you know, a vest on it.
Because I feel like you're just going
in there and and if it's a car i feel like some people like yeah i owe those motherfuckers eight
thousand dollars i'm fucked but if it's tv they're like it's thirty seven dollars fuck off i'll pay
you next week and you're like no that's not how it works i can see there being some real conflict
there where they're just like just fuck off tell them i wasn't home i'll get you next week and
you're like, nah.
They know that I know that you're here.
I got to have that TV.
I can see that getting rough.
Yeah.
You know, a lot of you guys, you know,
you're handling business every single day on YouTube.
You're on the grind.
So you just imagine that you just finally start getting all your stuff.
And if you happen to get it through Rent-A-Center,
just know you missed that payment.
They're coming for you.
I remember when swatting was real heavy on Twitch for a hot minute.
But instead of the cops coming in, that's just Renner Center banging at your door.
And you're over here live streaming.
You might catch somebody coming through your window, B.
They're coming for your microphone.
They're coming for your PCs.
Everything's going to be gone.
It's real.
Dude, so I was just thinking.
It occurred to me.
Now, you're a big YouTube hit.
Everything is going awesome right now.
But you worked for real before YouTube.
A lot of the YouTube successes, you know, they hit it big in their early 20s or teens and didn't really go through what you did.
Dude, you talked about the YouTube grind.
It's a pleasure compared to the real-life world out there, no?
Yeah.
Let me tell you something right now, man.
I always call YouTube the Titanic, and I really hope individuals stack for a rainy day.
Because if anything ever happened with the Titanic and you had no other revenue coming in,
you had to go back out there in the real world and all you've ever known was YouTube money,
you're going to be messed up.
Dude.
Because there's a reality out there, and that reality probably starts
about $10 an hour.
You might be lucky to catch that 15 piece, and let me tell you something right now.
Those checks don't look nothing like no YouTube checks if you're really getting it.
No, if you look at some of the even big YouTubers who got big in their teens and whatnot, and
you know they're making good money.
You know, good money for them.
They don't understand the value of money, really,
because they're getting it hand over fist for something
that's really not that difficult at the end of the day.
They're going to be fucked because you see them buying expensive cars,
nice houses in expensive areas with high tax brackets.
And it's like, what the fuck are you doing?
You're going to blow through this money,
or you're going to retire with, I don't know, a mill, and then you mill and then you're gonna realize a couple years down the road oh fuck this is not as much
money as i thought and i didn't go to college and i don't know how the working world works and i'm
not interpersonal enough with people to get in on the ground floor with some you know customer
service rep job or something like that's gonna bite a lot of these people in the ass because
they think the gravy train just won't stop coming right right you get once you once you get comfortable that's that's
already like the first step to becoming a problem an issue you can't never get comfortable you got
to keep that hustle going like when i look at youtube i look at it as my part-time boo thing
you know no matter how many videos i pump out in a day in a given week this is my part-time
boo thing put that cash off to the side but I got that other hustle still going on
outside of YouTube.
I got to make sure that whole entire flow keeps going.
I got girls to put through college.
You know what I'm saying?
Rachel Ray is, I've heard,
kind of a Nazi about deadlines.
And so you really got to make sure
you get those reviews sent in to her, all that.
I don't think you're going to catch this man
say anything negative about Rachel Ray.
I don't think you will either.
He's like, Rachel Ray
is a wonderful person!
You son of a bitch!
Don't talk about DeLar like that.
All right, so I want to
ask some fast food questions.
It's entirely different. I don't do
the YouTube flow when I'm on the show.
On the show, it's like, even
there was a particular episode
where I was able to bring in two of the restaurants here in Connecticut.
I was able to bring the food in on the show
and help out local mom and pop spots.
You know what I'm saying?
Just talk about the food.
And then Rachel was able to try the food out,
and then we get everybody all excited about it.
So, you know, I tell them I always want to separate my YouTube life
from the TV life.
That's the hardest transfer to make, especially when you take a great YouTuber,
then you bring them over to television,
and you try to do the same exact thing they're doing on YouTube,
and then you wonder why the show fails.
It fails because if people want to watch it,
they're just going to watch them on YouTube, you know?
Yeah, that makes sense.
So who has the best hamburger?
Oh, wait, are we talking fast food or just in general both okay
fast food hamburger
i'm still yeah i'm no i'm still gonna give it to five guys man i've had a lot of a lot of
different burgers bro from a lot of different locations some are decent but they just don't
seem to to get
the whole entire proper breakdown of that burger
because you know Five Guys wraps a burger in the foil
and then all of a sudden the cheese is literally
just kind of wrapped up over the beef
and that bacon is extra crispy.
That's what sells me on a mean burger each and every time.
When that bacon is extra crispy, I hate flimsy bacon,
and then you can take a bite of something
and it's not crazy grease dripping down your face.
I'm going to get a little bit of grease. True indeed.
But you have an actual
beefy, meaty bite
when you're messing with Five Guys.
Not nothing flimsy where you're like,
And it's not a mouthful of bread.
It's not a mouthful of bread either.
There's a lot of meat on there.
Their condiments are good. Everything they put
on the burger is good. Their condiments are good. Everything they put on the burger is good.
Their hot dogs are good.
I wish five guys would expand their menu, but I don't really, cause I don't, I don't
want to overcomplicate things back there.
I don't want them to like get some fish grease on the burgers and all of a sudden they taste
like shit or something.
They're doing great at what they're doing.
They've already got like 30 different things they can put on their burger and it's all
good.
Like when I got mushrooms and jalapenos or whatever the fuck on there like it's not bad mushrooms that you it's not like sad like
mcdonald's bacon or something that's like just weak and it's like why'd you even put it on here
this is just a reminder that this isn't what i wanted like but but yeah five guys is great
yeah i'm a fan of food are you did you get served a salad b uh this is actually so i'll let you know
one of our sponsors is blue apron right blue apron delivers food and um we just choose like
what you like look i'm not into pork i am into chicken or whatever it is that you deal and then
they'll send you the ingredients to meals so they made this honey what is this I'm sorry almost almost ruined I don't eat I don't
know what's happening here what's on that plate yeah what do we what do we
got here oh she gave me their damn she gave me the damn... She gave me the card.
She gave me the recipe.
So this is hoisin chicken steam buns.
Steam buns.
Ah.
I've never had this before.
And on the back, there's like how to make it.
And my wife made it, and now I have it.
Sorry, I've been working all day, and I haven't had dinner.
That's all right.
Go ahead and get your grind on.
That works.
Yeah. I thought Blue Apron, like going into it until I received it, I
honestly was like this is going to be kind of silly and stupid, like there's no
way this is going to be what they say. I got three meals, we still have one more
in there, and it's legitimately like restaurant quality shit, and everything
comes in the most perfect containers, perfectly organized, it's, it's perfect.
Perfect. Since we're talking about it, since we're talking about it, I'll just, in the most perfect containers, perfectly organized. It's perfect.
Perfect.
Since we're talking about it,
since we're talking about it,
I'll just read the ad here because it's got everything
you could possibly want to know about them.
So thanks again to Blue Apron
for sponsoring today's show.
Blue Apron knows that when you cook
with incredible ingredients,
you make incredible meals.
So they set the highest quality standards
for their community of artisanal suppliers.
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So, don't wait.
That's blueapron.com slash painkiller blue apron a better way to cook my
blue apron uh delivery showed up last week when i was in los angeles and everybody ate my food
and said it was amazing and i'm like that's not the same thing as me eating it and knowing it
so i'm a little upset that they ate all my fucking food it sounded good i love how they ship stuff
dude let me talk about that.
I got a bag right here.
Look at that.
Two radishes, and it just says,
Blue Apron Radishes, in a sealed plastic bag.
When you need one carrot, they send you a carrot in a bag.
And you feel like you're on a German scientist level of organization
in your own kitchen with little measuring devices and cups
and everything's pre-approved.
It's so easy to do.
I love this service. I'm going to keep going with it.
This is excellent.
I have three different food delivery services
at my house.
We haven't, well, we started now,
but we went years without buying milk at the store
because we had a milkman just come and deliver it
in the bottles and everything.
Blue Apron delivers their stuff better than everybody the milk was going bad like like it would come okay but it
would go bad within like three days and i'm like i think it must have hit like 60 degrees
somewhere in the travel process and the stuff they use to cool it not blue apron but the other people
um they take like old water bottles you know the water bottles you just drink from
and and they're like plastic
and like mega super thin plastic they fill it back up with water turn it to ice and just like toss it
in there with my food it's like used water bottles and like people's trash like old orange
juice containers yeah yeah like literally peeled off or not peeled off you know the dasani label
is still on there and stuff would warm up while we deliver blue apron There were like 32 freezer packs in there like and and then it came all wrapped in some sort of like
tinfoil oven business like a pizza delivery guy would have and
It was I was just like it was another level from all the other
Figure family plan was I just got like with our trial like the two-person
Mm-person thing.
Like, three meals a week, two-person.
They sent three cold packs
the size of my torso
in this bag
to keep my food cold.
And that silver, like, heat retention
or cold retention bag,
even after I got it, they were all still frozen,
so I just kind of left it there with just the cold bags in
to see how long it would last. A full day later, I got it, they were all still frozen, so I just kind of left it there with just the cold bags in to see how long it would last.
A full day
later, I got up and I was gonna
go to work, and I was like, I'm gonna check on those.
Put it in, a little bit soupy, but it was still fucking cold
in there. Like, you could just
miss your day by, like,
missing your flight or something, and come home a whole day later
and all your food's fine. I signed up for the
family plan. That's excellent.
Because I think that, like, it didn't matter which one.
I think the family plan was more stuff.
It seems like it would be.
So I'm hoping that there's more stuff for me next week
that I actually get to eat.
I'm excited about it.
What did you actually get?
What was your meal, Taylor?
Was it the same as his, or was it different?
I don't know what Woody...
I didn't get what Woody had.
I got General Tso's chicken,
and then I got pork roast and mashed
potatoes and then we've got uh salmon a salmon salad with some other like radishes on there or
something like the the radishes oh where'd they go they're in the fucking radish bag
you know well that's cool i look forward to actually using the thing so jay you need to
get yourself a blue blue apron sponsorship yeah i gotta check that out i don't think no he's a menu you need to get one of those burger king
uh black cards right so you get burger king free for life you know those exist right like i know
robert downey jr yeah downey jr has one because he ad-libbed like a burger king line at the end
of iron man one or two um they gave him this like black card it's free whoppers for life
it's a black card for burger king but you neverers for life. It's a black card for Burger King, but you never have to pay.
I have a few black cards for different establishments.
Oh, let's hear it.
That's great.
I have a few.
Yes, I was hoping.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Let me see if I can whip something out for y'all real quick.
Hold on a second.
This is my dream.
Yeah, Kylo wants a Taco Bell black card.
I'd wear a sombrero for life.
So this one spot
that I messed with heavy.
See if you can get this in for you guys.
See if you can read that right there.
Plan B Burger Bar.
And you know what I'm saying, it's for
Dame Drops, plus one.
You know, for life.
And
there's a few other spots that I like that as well but
you know after you do a quite a food reviews they show you a little bit for
love out there in the streets it's always a good look that's awesome yes so
now so does it ever occur to you that like no matter what in life now I'll
never go hungry like no matter what like even if like I become like a
supervillain and I commit crimes and everybody likes me decides they hate me never go hungry like no matter what happens like even if like i become like a super villain and i
commit crimes and everybody likes me decides they hate me i'll never go hungry is that does that
ever occur to you i can go sit down and get something to eat and i'm still good to go yeah
it's crazy bro i mean i didn't expect for any of this to happen you know it's definitely a great
feeling to be appreciated for what it is that you know we do we provide some amazing content out there for the people and just we like having fun with what it is
that we do and then yeah we get kickbacks from the madness is what i like to call it and it's
just it's a good look that's really cool i don't have a black card for anything this is bullshit
i know right i'm saying man you know are you sweet talking these
these are sponsors bro i haven't even spoken to my local fast food managers in months
i've really you know for a while there i was really cultivating some interpersonal relationships
but uh wendy's guy and the jack the box guy but no dice. They don't care.
Jack in the Box is the best mascot.
That Burger King was creepy as fuck.
I was saying that Jack from Jack in the Box is the best mascot.
He's got the best sense of humor.
But that Burger King was creepy as hell.
Remember the Burger King, and he just had that blank fucking face like Michael Myers or something,
and he'd just serve you a croissant-wich in bed?
Like, nobody wants that.
That's a nightmare. No one was paying attention to, like, the steam rising you a croissant sandwich in bed. Nobody wants that. That's a nightmare.
No one was paying attention to the steam rising off
the croissant sandwich. They were all like,
who is this guy in my bedroom?
This is upsetting. I don't want him here.
I don't care. Leave the croissant sandwich
on the counter on your way out.
I just want you to leave.
Get out of here, buddy.
David, now that you have YouTube money, what finer things in life
have you started to enjoy?
Doing crack a lot more often now we have right now yeah as you do I mean really like I said I have a 19 year old and I have a three-year-old put a
19 year old through college mm-hmm money that actually comes in from everything
that I'm doing I'm just making sure I'm making some smart investments along the
way and stacking for that rainy day.
Do you have your RC track in place yet?
No.
He's teasing.
We had another guest.
I asked a similar question.
I was like, you know. That's a real blue chip stock.
You want to get in on that early.
It's the RC racetrack in the backyard that costs like $60,000.
$100,000.
$100,000.
You all are click hitting, right?
Yeah.
We had a guest who took who took 100 grand and made
a remote control race car track in their backyard yeah she said like i remember because we were
asking we're like what are you investing in and she's like uh an rc track in rc track or something
and i was like oh okay i and it was my impression for like the next half hour that okay she's
investing in i guess tonka or one of those like truck companies that like
hot wheels something like that electric cars for kids and then i found out that there was no
investing it was just i purchased a six-figure rc car track in my backyard and then i'm like oh
okay so it's like go-karts you hop in you drive around and then the final plummet i was like oh
my god these are remote control cars in your backyard?
You could have bought a real supercar for that money.
That's evil on the road.
The biggest piece of it, she bought a skid steer, which is a piece of construction equipment
to maintain the track, and that was the most expensive part.
But yeah, and I thought it was interesting because she was a real popular Twitch, YouTube personality.
And I have the same mindset that you do, that this stuff doesn't last forever.
So what are you doing about tomorrow?
And God, it sounds terrible to say it, but I feel like that's doubly true on the girl side because it helps to be pretty, right?
Damon, you're going to be just as good looking 10 years from now.
She's only going to be worth as good looking ten years from now. But... Ten years from now,
I will respect your hamburger review even more
than I do today.
Because you'll be a more experienced,
more tenured burger
taster, you know?
You'll be better behind the... And not that that's all you do.
You'll be better behind the camera. You'll be better in front
of the camera. You'll be better behind the microphone. You'll's all you do you'll be better behind the camera you'll be better in front of the camera you'll be better behind the microphone you'll be a better version
of you but if you're like now you're like roger ebert in the early 80s very respectable but you
can really soar to the top over the next couple decades in the fast food review world but if you
were like a 27 year old pretty girl 10 years from now you'll be a whole different you yeah yeah
unfortunately so and it's it is not necessarily it's not that it's a worse you,
it's just a less marketable you, unfortunately.
And that's just the world we live in, you know.
Yeah, so I was really fascinated about how she was
packing away for the future.
It turned south.
Yeah, we're asking.
It's unfortunate, but you know, these things do happen, you know.
You should make it.
You're coming to a lot of money to fast away,
and you're going to pretty much blow it on everything under the sun.
Damon, make a second channel.
Before you know it,
you fall ass backwards
into a $100,000 children's track
in your backyard.
Yeah.
You could give me $100 billion,
and at no opportunity
would it even cross my mind
to build an RC track
in my backyard.
I would have moats and catapults
and trebuchets
and whole armories of medieval warfare shit before I even crossed my mind to get a remote control car.
Different strokes for different folks, I guess.
Yeah, I guess so.
That was outrageous to me as well.
And I like spending money on things.
You should have another line of videos.
Not on your main channel.
It would break the flow.
Where you put these people straight. Let you know this stuff doesn't last forever money's harder to earn than
you think it is true indeed true indeed real talk series man that's what it's about real talk real
talk series should help a few individuals out there that are doing some real ignorant things
with their money right now we could do some real talk dual comms if you could teach me more terms like crispy and yeah
yeah i would i got you i got that you know this will be a real errol michael scott vibe yeah
it is it's a real michael scott vibe and it's and it's making my stomach hurt and my teeth ache oh
it's awesome it's crazy man you know he's not funny without a straight man. Let me ask you.
I know you're always with the questions for all the guests that you guys have,
but when you're not doing your normal grind with the YouTube and everything else,
what do you do outside of these walls?
What do you do?
I like to do a lot of things.
I like to shoot.
Shooting is part of my YouTube channel, but it's also something I really enjoy doing. I like shooting more when a camera's not on me, so I like to do
that as much as I can. I like to tinker a lot. Part of my channel's like pyrotechnics
and stuff like that, so lately I've been messing around with a lot of explosives and explosive
gases and stuff like that in my spare time, a lot of backyard chemistry stuff. But I really
like TV. I watch an unhealthy amount of television. I really do love fast food I eat an incredibly unhealthy amount of fast food
when I shit in the morning I just had to replace my toilet it it was destroyed it
could my plumbing I had to put heavy-duty plumbing in I it's awful I
eat an insane amount of fast food almost every single day and and so yeah these
are a few of my favorite things.
Like guns
blowing stuff up, fast food
and lots and lots of television.
Okay. I respect that.
Woody is a
pretend farmer in his
spare time.
Woody, you know the
fuck would you like that to be?
Yeah. It's it like, Debbie? Yeah.
It's fun.
I bought this in Raleigh.
We call it the compound.
I have 14 acres here and a big house.
And I mostly just maintain the house and the property.
And the John Deere 2014 catalog.
And, you know, I chop my own wood, right?
You know, I think that's fun.
Everybody else's wood.
I chop a lot of wood.
I go hardcore.
When I get into something, I get into it so hardcore at a level that you might not know anyone else who gets as passionate about
fucking anything as i do right i start chopping wood holy shit dude it's a new hobby i mow grass
with an enthusiasm that you have never heard of before and soon i'm going to start flying and that
shit will be off the hook and uh yeah i when i get my head set in a direction
then it's it's unstoppable and now even jackie's lined up so and by flying it probably a paramotor
thing which i don't know if you know that thing where you'd get towed behind a boat yeah that
likes glad so it's that but with a motor and a fan on your back and i can just right here from
the compound fly away And that shit's
going to start happening whenever I want it. It's badass.
I've been watching some of the videos.
My dad had this idea.
So there's a thing called a paraplane.
There's a couple of different iterations of this
idea of using a parachute to fly.
There's gliders, paraplanes,
and there's the paramotor
that I'm familiar with. But the paraplane
looks like a really lightweight tricycle-type thing
that you're sitting in.
It's shaped like a car, sort of, but more like a little buggy.
And it's got a fan on the back, and you sort of sit and steer,
and it inflates the parachute, and you take off and fly away.
Those are pretty interesting. Those are cool.
And that's what my dad always considered getting,
because, again, you don't need a pilot's license
because you're only endangering yourself, I suppose, put it woody but with this thing woody's talking about
you're much more it's much more like you're flying um like just you than anything because
you've just got this 180 sitting in a chair yeah you're sitting in a chair with an engine and a
fan on your back flying away and but there's this whole class of planes under 254 pounds that don't require
licenses and okay um the like what's cool about the thing kyle said is it's the fastest and you
know oftentimes there's some like a windshield in front if that's your cup of tea you can control
your speed fast slow etc the downside of is it has a lot of the downsides of a plane people tend to keep them at the airport
You tend to want a hanger for it stuff like that
With a bit of a runway to sort of you need a bit of a runway and on the end of that runway
Hopefully there aren't trees. You know where we need a longer runway and
You know, but this thing literally like five steps and you fly away and you can fit it inside your car
I don't know what kind of car
you have but it'll fit in there it'll fit a regular car and the capabilities are surprising
it can fly to 15 000 feet of altitude it can fly for four five six hours stuff like that depending
on which one you've got and that's like that i don't know but looks pretty quick like so on just
level like no wind thing something like
25 to 30 miles an hour i mean it's kind of a slow thing uh very long flight anywhere
yeah i don't really feel like it's a useful mode of i think the range is 200 kilometers i think i
read yeah which is okay that does sound like fun exactly. Exactly. I have a lake maybe three miles from me,
and it's like I could just step out my back door,
fly to the lake, and then, I don't know,
buzz around and do shit.
Drag a foot in the water and see the treetops and whatever.
And drown.
I'm hard to drown.
But yeah, so that's on its way.
That's cool, man. All right man so when you say on its way
it's great that you've got Jackie on board
I told my dad today
I was like Jackie put her foot down
and said this and that
but at first her thing was safety
he got her off of safety
it's eliminating objections
he eliminated that objection
and she fell into a trap there she
got sold because instead of like focusing more on it or doing research she just came up with a new
objection which he was also easily uh able to eliminate because the next objection was money
yeah i'm like baby you know she's like well plenty of it yeah what about the money and i was like
Well, yeah.
What about the money?
And I was like, what about it?
Well, we can sell a couple of tapes.
So, yeah.
Anyway, so that's – and she just ran out of objections.
I think safety was her real thing all along.
But really what it came down to is I was like, honey, I feel a bit handcuffed.
Like, you know, when you met me, I was on my second motorcycle,
and I was on my third not long after that and i would go off-roading and take my car up mountains and flip that thing and and i did brazilian jiu-jitsu and boxing and mma and suddenly now it's like everything's too
dangerous you said no to another motorcycle recently you said no to this you said no to that
flying must be get on board and uh well it in her defense it's really stressful to watch your meal ticket
just running around like a hell just just
just fucking gone well well there goes your future kids if he fucks up
i just see woody looking back where i'm going we don't need roads, and just takes eight steps and then falls face first and explodes.
Like, Jesus, no!
That's the fear.
I know you don't need a license for it now,
but I feel like it's kind of like drones insofar as, like, ten years ago,
there weren't a bunch of drone regulations for what people could and couldn't do
because you didn't have drones.
Like, there just aren't regulations yet for flying your own 200
pound plane around because most people don't have 200 pound planes there is a philosophy behind it
though that you might be right i can't predict the future but what they say is these lightweight
one-person planes the faa stance on it is that you are allowed to kill yourself you're allowed
to go mountain climbing you're allowed to do this you're allowed to do that you can't they make tandems and they made them illegal because they
said the minute that this thing the minute you have a passenger then some like you're kind of
making decisions on behalf of someone other than just yourself so they say look you can't fly it
um within a certain radius of major airports of which i'm just clear and uh and you can't have
passengers uh because you're making
decisions for just you so if you fly up and hit a telephone pole and shock yourself then uh that's
all about you so i think we should have here's what i think we should do we should have chis
i i know you're gonna get one regardless of any of anything no matter what you're gonna get one
i'm not uh unless we can work something out with a sponsorship so that we can get a discount or
maybe get one i'll take a plane.
Yeah, exactly, right?
Like, I would love to do something.
If you're handing them out, one plane here, please.
Yeah, I mean, I got $12,000 worth of personal tanks over here for free.
It's not unimaginable that I could get a $6,000 or $8,000 little mini plane for free.
So, you know, I think that would be really cool, and I'd be down.
I would definitely make a video of it and fly from it i i want to check the legality of shooting from it because
that'd be fucking cool right no no shooting yeah no i actually know about that even on your own
property there's that can't be legal there's no on your own property um you know i'm not certain
about the property thing but i there's another guy who shot from one and I
guess it's a small enough community that like everyone's talking about it hating
it and there's not so much traffic that things die fuck so this was like a year
and a half ago and people are like he's the guy that shot a gun from a
paraglider ruined it for all of us oh I'll get my when I like take off and my
sale will just be like a big AK-47 on the back.
You'll know I'm the one shooting the gun from the parasail.
I'll be the guy with the gun in the parasail.
I don't give a fuck if that community of people thinks it's a faux pas.
If it's illegal, I'll do it.
It's illegal to do it from a flying vehicle.
Now, I don't know what a vehicle is.
In what state?
Because in Texas, I can go up in my chopper and machine gun pigs.
Well, you know what? I think I'm stepping outside my expertise. and machine gun pigs. Well, you know what?
I think I'm stepping outside my expertise.
I'm not sure.
I would do that if it were
possible. That's one of the things I would do. I'm not going to break any
laws because obviously when you're uploading it on the internet and showing
a million people, you don't break laws when you do that.
That's WorldStar where you do
that.
You're going to break
some laws.
What's the CPMms like over there oh man so um yeah i i am down to get in a pair of uh motor i'm down to promote one i'm down to be
given one i'm down to get free training and then and then maybe do something what i don't want to
do though is like come out of pocket for like
$8,000 or something and then like 10 days
of training that's probably another $1,500
when I'm just about to buy that 1080
PC
that's wrapped around the 1080 graphics card
so I can do VR and I can play
some of these other games that I'm interested in.
So I'm about to put at least $2,000 into that.
Probably closer to $3,000.
So I really don't want to drop like $10,000 on toys this month.
I would guess three or four.
And just so you know, there's a culture in the PC building thing of how much you can get for the money.
Like that's it.
It's sort of like price to performance ratio.
That's what they're excited about.
So I feel like when people build a PC, they don't tell you the real cost.
They're like, I built this thing for $1,400 and it's XYZ fast. What's wrong with you? So I feel like when people build a PC, they don't tell you the real cost.
They're like, I built this thing for $1400
and it's XYZ fast, what's wrong with you?
Okay, did you include a monitor in your price?
Because normal people use monitors too.
And what about your keyboard?
Was that inherited from your last thing?
And what about this and what about that?
I feel like with a $1400, I mean,
I don't believe them, quite frankly.
I feel like they're like, alright, well yeah, I guess I didn't count the case because I had that I guess it you know that's the case
I'm in though. You know I've got I've got all the extra things then that don't get monitor every generation
So I'm not sure what I'm gonna do it, so I've got a 4k, but it's 60 Hertz and I want 144 Hertz
I want probably 1440p at a high frame rate
144 hertz. I want probably 1440p at a high frame rate. So I don't have a monitor and I'm guessing that I'm going to spend at least $600 on the monitor. So yeah, that's a big, that's one of
the, that's going to cost as much as the graphics card itself. I do have a case. It's a question as
to whether this case is appropriate for what I'm about to do or not. I don't know. I can't look at
it and know. I don't know what's required, but I'm sure I can get a discerning eye to tell me that.
I got keyboard and mouse, all that. I'm really happy
with that stuff.
I thought you just got a gaming laptop.
I did, but I mean
it's a gaming laptop in that it'll play
Company of Heroes on really high
settings, but it's not a gaming laptop in the
sense that I can play Witcher on
ultra settings and just feel like
I'm immersed. It's a really great travel gaming laptop but it's not
one of those three thousand dollar fucking badass ones with with dual
graphics cards or something crazy Damien do you play video games Xbox one gamer
yeah all right I haven't jumped over to PC gaming you know the, the master race of gaming, but Xbox One.
You're buying tuition, baby.
What game are you playing on Xbox One?
Currently Call of Duty I'm running through, and also, damn it.
It's crazy because I just switched up another game.
Battlefield?
No, no, no.
Is it Shooter?
CSGO?
No, no, no.
Fallout?
Oh, no, no.
The Division.
My bad.
The Division.
Oh, yeah.
I'm hearing a lot about that game.
I've read a lot about it, but I haven't watched anything from it.
Is that fun?
To me, it's amazing because you can run in there with three other boys, go up in there, blow shit up,
make sure you're destroying all the fellas coming out,
trying to stop you from hitting objectives.
And you really got to go in as a squad as you start leveling up
because the enemy gets smarter.
Yeah, when you go in there, do you mess with the other human players
or are you just trying to run missions and get stuff done?
Or do you every now and then?
When you mess with other human players, that's when you're going into the dark zone.
As long as you stay your ass out of the dark zone, you're good.
You can do whatever you want to do.
I'm talking about...
You step into the dark zone?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm starting shit
when I go into the dark zone.
Okay, you're one of those guys.
That's nothing else.
I'm just there to start shit.
It's...
I wish that they would expand upon the...
And again,
I've just read about the game,
but I wish the dark zone
was a little bit more like DayZ.
I don't know if you're familiar
with the awful things
that you can do
to other players in that game,
but it's really like a real-life war simulator.
So if I catch you in-game, and I'm like slightly armed, it's just like real life.
I don't need an AK-47.
If I got a.22 pistol or like a big stick with a nail in it, you're like, whatever you want, bro.
Like, you know, like if I'm armed and you're not, it's a big fucking deal in real life.
So it's just like that in the game.
If I got three bullets, you're like,'re like oh god he's armed to the teeth so i can hold you at gunpoint in this game and
like put those handcuffs on you'll be like all right because if when you die you just lost like
six your whole life you're just dead there's no like you're dead and you got to go back to some
random starting point and work for another eight hours to find a blue shirt because it's keeping
you warm that's how that game is it's like it's like being ragged and poor in a war zone with nothing some guy tried to rape me he succeeded from what
i saw i saw penetration yeah well basically he had the he out uh armored me by a ton
so not armor literally but like his his guns his weapons whatever you can see what they have just
by looking at the character and i know that like i've got guns with bullets that don't match it
right and this guy on the other hand is like full ammo full auto he's dressed like a soldier and
everything so i'm screwed and he's like you know get down on your knees and i don't really want to
open your mouth he makes me take my clothes off and. So he made me take my clothes off, and I agreed to that
because I thought maybe he wanted my clothes for some reason.
Oh, this is shameless.
Just turn the game off.
And then he wanted me to get down on my knees,
and I knew the next step was some sort of fellatio thing.
Now, the game doesn't have fellatio in it,
but it was obvious he was going to walk up to me
and be like, oh, yeah, yeah, you're good. And I didn't want any part of that, so I chose death.
That's the only reason I play the game. I'm waiting on someone to do that to me.
Hours I play, and I don't find it. It's overrated, I would say.
So, yeah, it's nothing like, I wish it was a little bit more like that because you know you
get the guy on his knees make him eat eat like a rotten apple or something make him cry and stuff
like that but from what i've heard you know if you go rogue and start taking out other enemy
players you get like a bounty on you and other people are looking out for you they're after you
so um it sounds like a lot of fun i like how he was talking about a player wanting to molest his
character in game and you immediately were like yeah i mean I want to get in there and make him do nasty stuff like maybe eat a
past expiration apple you know not too gross but just enough
I'm not getting as many nutrients brown spots all over it yeah I'm taking the
skin off so you don't get any vitamins toxic you
know that Charlie oh that's true yeah I so I play a lot of stuff not I'm not
passionate about a ton of games but I do play a quite a few I'm definitely
looking forward to the new Call of Duty not for the new aspect of it but because
Call of Duty 4 modern warfare is remastered come along with it I of Duty 4 Modern Warfare is remastered, come along with it.
I've played that game for two years.
When World at War came out, I played a little, got to the
first prestige, but then I went
back to COD 4, and I put two full
years into that game, and I have a huge passion
for that game.
I'm an expert at that game, and what that game's about,
and all the things in it. So I'm
pumped that that's coming out. Battlefield
1, though, looks like a game
a next-gen game
that, especially on the PC
with this PC I'm planning on building, I bet it's
going to look incredible and it's going to play really well
too. I'm interested in a World War 1
scenario. Then I play a lot of RTS
though, so there's games like
Civ.
That's a
turn-based strategy game.
Civ 6 is coming out fairly soon,
so I'm pretty excited about that.
I've got it right here in front of me.
I don't want to get the name right when I say it.
Total War Warhammer, which is actually one of our sponsors for tonight.
It looks like Age of Mythology, Taylor.
It's an updated,
modern version of Age of Mythology. It's an RTS game
with vampires
and supernatural
stuff and magic but also like real-world type stuff make in the mix to there's
dwarves with cannons and shit it's kind of off the off the wall nutty RTS and
looks like a lot of fun so we should have about a step yeah I bet you can get
it for free I guarantee it it. Oh, yes.
Well, we've been getting all of our games for free from all the nice people giving them to us on Steam.
Yeah, we got some great fans.
Oh, and speaking of that, Woody, I don't know if you noticed,
but we're scheduled to do a PKA Plays this weekend on Age of Mythology.
And we have two choices of game.
The guy who, he's one of our $500 Patreons, I think,
he gave us some choices. He said we could do Age of Mythology or Patreons, I think. He gave us some choices.
He said we could do Age of Mythology
or we could do Company of Heroes.
I am willing to give you a crash course in either game.
Company of Heroes will be easier for you to get going on.
I'm pretty good at that now.
I can beat the game on hard.
Does one of them have a bigger wood chopping aspect than the other?
Yes, yes, it does.
You don't want part of that. You don't want any of that.
Age of Mythology, there's a lot of wood chopping.
I don't know. It sounds attractive.
It'll be a lot easier for you to
jump into Company of Heroes
than jump into Age of Mythology.
Because Age of Mythology, you have to...
It's not a steep learning curve, but there's
quite a bit of time you have to put in where you're just
fucking bad and it's no fun.
Where you're like, I'm just getting attacked and I don't
even have a spearman yet and this is bullshit.
But at least with Company of Heroes
you can at least make some soldiers.
And your fellow people on your team
will help you out a lot more.
All jokes aside, I'll take your advice. Company of
Heroes. Yeah, you really
pay your dues getting good at Age of Mythology.
I think I'm a much better Age of Mythology
player than I am a Company of Heroes player. uh i'm really digging it like i had to take
kitty to the the doctor today and while she was in there i got my laptop in the truck fucking
playing a couple quick games i got my head this headset on like a full thing i'm out in the out
in the parking lot playing this pc game talking about games we're looking forward to i'm kind of
looking forward to cod 4 like i haven't had the drive to get good at a game.
Like, as you know, it takes a lot of hours.
You need to play, like, five nights a week to be the kind of player that I like to be.
You know, the one that can carry a team.
And it's been a while since I've had an interest in investing that kind of time.
But if COD 4 comes out again, then all of a sudden I'll be like,
oh, yeah, I just need to kind of get the rust off.
I know every line of sight in that game.
I know every weapon.
I have a lot of time in COD 4.
There's nothing I don't know about COD 4.
And get my aim back and I should be okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's lots of little like really my
really the minutiae of that game that i know both of us have a good bit of like you know as well as
i do that the that the bullet penetration on an ak-74u is that of an assault rifle but so is the
hip fire radius of it so in that way it's somewhere in between as it should be because of the caliber
that it fires it's a particularly good weapon for that is it it's somewhere in between. As it should be, because of the caliber that it fires. It's a particularly good weapon
for that. What's the square map
with the lattice work and the two stories
and the statue in the middle? Showdown.
Yeah.
But not the one with the...
Statue in the middle, you throw the grenades
over the top, they bounce through the hallways.
That's Showdown.
So I particularly like the high penetration
weapons on showdown
because everyone's behind lattice and you can see them and the lmgs and ak-74u good choice anyway
that's the kind of stuff that i remember from cod 4 and um grenade spots all those opening route
take three steps and throw the grenade imaginary lines on how not to flip spawns on every map
yep all that's gonna be refreshing to like,
and this isn't a rip on the recent Call of Duties totally,
but like to have a game where people aren't boosting around
and there's no hint of anything like Space Sage.
It's all just like guns that if you saw it at Cabela's,
you'd be like, that's a gun.
Like not like what kind of bananas, you know, laser rifle is that?
And I like that.
And that's why I'm so excited about Battlefield 1.
I've never been excited about a Battlefield game before but i'm gonna buy it for sure because world war one is
always playing second fiddle to world war two but world war one was probably the worst war in
history to fight yes because because you've got world war one is amazing because you have next
gen weapons and last gen military advisors and and leaders So you've got these guys who are like,
yeah, yeah, just fucking charge.
What are you guys, you guys a bunch of pussies?
Back in the fucking Crimean days,
we just charge right in and get it done.
And you're just like, no, that doesn't work.
They got this Maxim machine gun over there.
And he's like, Maxim, what do you call it?
Get in there.
Meanwhile, they're over there.
Just, that's why you've got millions and millions of people,
not to mention the gas, the mortars, the aircraft are in their infancy.
Trench foot.
Yeah, all that stuff.
It was a terrible, brutal war with just incredible cost in lives.
So it'll be fun to play that.
And it looks like they're mixing in biplanes.
It looks like they're mixing in zeppelins of some kind, airships of some kind.
And then I love the hand-to-hand stuff. When I saw that guy who literally seemed to have some sort of a club. The shovel, of course, that looked like
some sort of engineering class, but I saw a club with spikes on it.
Yeah, nails.
What I'm definitely going to say, I know we're some heavy gamers here on this particular call.
I'm about to take an old school.
How far back are you going with your gaming?
Do you stop at Atari 2600, or do you go all the way back to Intellivision?
Oh, man.
Intellivision, ColecoVision.
Super Nintendo was the first one I had.
I was a PC gamer on a Commodore 64.
Ooh, there it is.
There it is.
Uh-huh.
I had a Franklin Ace 1000, which was an Apple clone back in the early 80s.
We used to play a game on the abacus called Rose and Dots.
My brother, I was so jealous.
My parents got us TVs for our room, which sounds almost like chimpanzees for the room.
I get it.
But my brother's, mine was color, and it was small.
His was black and white, and it was bigger.
But it had Pong built right into it.
So, yeah, we literally played black and white Pong in my brother's room.
Lucky guy.
Wow.
How far back do you go with your gaming?
Dude, I kid you not.
Right now, in my game room, I still have my Sega Dreamcast and my ColecoVision.
And my gaming actually started with Atari 2600.
I was playing other systems
at my cousin's house, but as far as me
physically having a system, it was
Atari 2600. I still remember
when I had my Sega Dreamcast
when it was a Hang-On that was built
into it.
The original Sega,
sorry, the original Sega had
a Hang-On built into it.
And those were the games, man.
TurboGrafx-16 with Box Adventure.
That was me.
That was my childhood.
It made it all worthwhile.
Could you play Asteroids indefinitely on the Atari 2600?
No, I haven't played that one.
What?
That was like, ah.
For me, Asteroids was the point
of the Atari 2600. I would
flip the score like
14, 18 times and have
to stop because of dinner. Like I would
just have 99 extra lives. I could
always, there's no ending.
I could play it forever.
Who still remembers the
Contra code for 99 lives?
I don't know.
Don't disappoint me now, Woody.
I know the Grand Theft Auto Vice City PlayStation 2 codes.
I know them all.
I can still fucking do them.
It's like R1, R2, left, one, circle, down, left, right, up, left, down, down, left.
That's a weapons pack.
Like, I know eight of those.
Yeah, I don't know Contra. Left, right, left, right, B, A, start. For your 99 Lives. That's a weapons pack like I know eight of those Yeah
Left right left right be a start for your 99 lives that Contra cold
Nintendo was that that's what made the 80s all worthwhile from duck hunt
You know I'm saying for Mario Brothers duck of course was always the greatest for me double dragon that that was my game double
Dread dude, my game that reverse elbow
was op that's all i used yes none of our audience is getting these references they missed out on a
great era of gaming they definitely missed out even mike tyson's punch out you know i'm saying
when you finally beat mike tyson after all those hours of trying, you know you felt accomplished.
Dude, that double dragon.
So I had moved from Morristown to Ocean City in New Jersey.
And then my friend came to visit me from Morristown.
And we both knew that it was pretty much the last time we were going to see each other.
We moved away.
And it was the last night and we didn't want it to end yet
Scott Gensler he can look him up on Facebook and let him know what he said
hi so anyway we snuck out at like I don't know 2 a.m. or something with
five dollars worth of quarters and beat Double Dragon and then we got caught by
the police brought back home and I never saw him again.
But it was awesome.
At least you made a memory.
It was an incredible memory. I've told the story before
where we hid under the boardwalk and the police
were there with the flashlights.
I tried to pretend like they couldn't see me,
but my shorts were like, I don't know,
salmon colored or something.
They were ridiculous.
And he called me out.
Are you guys running
with the HTC Vive right now?
With the whole entire virtual reality
gaming lifestyle?
Kyle's going to lead the way on that one.
We're going to let him storm the beach,
get all the shitty ones that don't quite work
right, and then eventually when he spends enough
money, he's going to tell us
the one that's good.
Just like everything else you gotta wait for them to come out with one that's good i think tucker's already done that for us i know he didn't spend the money
but but in his world he he got to get in there and figure out what was what so i'm gonna take
his advice on that and uh and see that's the great thing about that that 1080 graphics card like like
it's it's just perfect timing i already wanted this VR rig, and now this super powerful, super cheap graphics card is coming onto the market.
And Woody and I have talked about this a lot in private.
This year is actually like – every year it's like 10% better or 12% better or 18% better in this very specific case.
case but this year it's like hey we're 30 to 40 percent better depending on exactly what you're doing and what uh you know um resolution you're watching it or you're playing it that's great and
it's cheaper it's much cheaper it's it's like 40 40 percent cheaper or something like that so
i'm excited about it it's gonna be great now i know you guys right now you know you have a lot of
um viewers out there watching and definitely being informed because you you guys right now, you know you have a lot of viewers out there watching and
definitely being informed because you guys definitely bring the information.
What would you say for an individual building their first PC where the pockets are really
heavy but they definitely want to get in the game?
What direction would you recommend?
Woody's the one who would know this.
I'm a little confused.
Talk to me Woody.
Now the pockets are heavy.
Does that mean a big budget? A. Now, the pockets are heavy. Does that mean a big budget?
A big budget when the pockets are heavy, but when the pockets
are light, that means, you know, you're
struggling, but you still want a PC.
If I remember right, earlier the pockets
were tight, and when we switched it to heavy
I really got a little mixed up here.
Oh,
Michael Scott.
Oh, you shut up. Of those three
of us here, I'm the only one with a verified hood pass.
Oh, okay.
I forget how I earned it.
How would you build it?
Kyle needs to know this lesson too because you're about to build one.
I'm going to have to watch a lot of videos.
Yeah.
You know what?
I'm a little out of touch.
I get the 1080 video card.
The last time I built mine, I bought probably the best motherboard of its time.
And that turned out to be a waste.
You know, like it has special monitoring stuff so you can use nitrogen and win over clocking contests.
None of which I'm interested in or do.
So I'd spend less on the motherboard than before.
I'd get a good platinum rated power I interject going what's your what the best way to say
it's hard to answer this question if you don't know a specific price range
because like every grand you at every sometimes every you had another fifty
dollars in like three three things will change you know I mean I look like let's
start with fifteen hundred dollars let's start there what kind of pc can you get with fifteen hundred dollars
shucks um i i feel on the spot i i probably the you know intel 5000 level cpu I'd probably stretch and put a lot of money towards the 1080 GPU
which is $600
of that budget, maybe $700
yeah, and then you should be able to slip
in the rest, you're going to spend something like
$400-ish on a CPU
and then motherboard, case, and RAM
and you're about up and running
good deal
good deal I mean yeah i'm i mean i'm really
enjoying i was always about console gaming too until well i'm still about console gaming for
everything that's not an rts real-time strategy game like agent mythology or company of heroes
the only time i want to be playing a game on the computer is when i'm like the god role and it's
like go do my bidding, soldiers,
or like, you know, hack that wood, peasant.
You know, I like that role.
It's fun to be the god in control, organizing everything,
but I don't like first-person shooters on it,
because I don't feel like I'm as connected with it as I am with the controller,
which I know a lot of people feel.
But I was really just thinking about getting a gaming laptop, because Kyle said his was good, but if it's $1,600,
and I can get a real desktop that would play games even better I should probably do that well so
and in your case $1,600 would probably be hard to do if you need to buy a monitor
a mouse and a keyboard too I got a mouse and well that's it yep yeah okay yeah
let's see what Kyle has in his PC yeah this might be out of date I would do a different video card
I'm sure you would too
but I just
on Reddit they seem to usually do a good job
at coming up with these builds
and this was a $1550 build
they've got everything on that website
including a lot of upsetting things
on Reddit
yeah I'm really excited about getting to play some of these games Including a lot of upsetting things. On Reddit.
Yeah, I'm really excited about getting to play some of these games to their full potential.
Because that's one thing that I like to do in all aspects of life.
Like, if I'm going to do something, let's do it 100%. So, like, you know, if I'm going to watch a movie, let's watch it in IMAX.
If I'm going to eat a steak, let's get the triple burger or whatever it is.
I want the big one or the best one.
So it would be nice to play a game to its full potential.
Yeah.
Let's talk about gaming foods because, like I said,
gaming definitely starts sucking up a lot of hours.
I see Woody over there.
You know what I'm saying?
He's keeping it light.
Woody, is that normally how you get down while you're gaming?
Do you have something light to snack
on, or do you just sometimes go
all out while gaming? If I eat anything,
you know, my favorite is sunflower seeds.
It keeps your hands clean,
it's a respectable snack,
and it gets it done.
A respectable snack.
No one's gonna look down their nose at me.
Yeah. Everyone respects
sunflower folk.
Living off the land.
Off of David's land, you know?
Sunflower seed's where it's at, man.
I like to get pretty unhealthy.
I usually...
Honey roasted, if you want.
Sorry.
I guess I'd usually go to some fast food restaurant
and just bring back a sack full of food
and sit that right next to me.
And if I die, I'm watching the kill cam.
I'm like...
Usually Taco Bell
because Taco Bell is so damn cheap.
I don't mind.
I get so much that it keeps the heat for a long time.
I get $25 worth of Taco Bell.
When you got that much... Damn, bro. That outer
layer of food is just a reverse ice
pack.
I'll just eat out of that bag.
I don't usually
get the cheap tacos. I get
eight or ten of the specialty
items and make a variety pack
over there. It's usually $20-$25
worth of food for me.
I don't go to for me. I tear
Cheez-Its apart.
I walk through an aisle at
the grocery store and I hear a chattering and a
dull murmur of fear from the crackers
section because they know I'm coming.
They know that I'm one man, but I'm getting the family size.
I'm going to leave
acting like it's not just for me, but everyone else.
That is my go-to. If I'm going to cheat and eat it's not just for me, but everyone does. But that is my go-to.
Like, if I'm going to cheat and eat a bunch of shit,
like, I don't even do, like, a sampling of different crackers
or cookies or something.
No, just give me, like, eight pounds of Cheez-Its
and just put it in a barrel next to me,
and I'll be fine.
Objectively, the best snack.
I find it harder to stay thin than I did even three years ago.
I'm 43 for your help.
And I hear the stuff that you guys are snacking on,
and I just think, man, I just don't feel like I could get away with that.
I am constantly –
How many meals do you eat a day, though?
When I snack on Cheez-Its, if I eat a whole family-sized box of Cheez-Its,
it's because I was at work all day, and I come home, and there's no dinner,
and there's nothing I want to eat, and it's like, I'm just going to eat this.
That's what my
calories for the day are. And you never feel good the
next day, and you have a very uncomfortable
shit, because there's no nutrition, it's just
empty going through you.
You can't stay in,
you can't not get to be a big
fat fuck if you're adding a
family-sized box of Cheez-Its on top of
regular food. Or if Kyle's having a a well-rounded dinner and then he goes and
gets Taco Bell like the way it's sustainable is because especially with
Kyle he splurges a lot but he also goes like 20 hours without eating often yeah
that's real yeah I eat two or three meals a day so if I were to throw
Cheez-Its on there that would be like extra
you know i don't skip many dinners i eat when i was in la i um and they kept asking me they're
like hey it's it's lunchtime you ready for lunch because like even like the the guys who seemed
well off were excited about the free lunch that comes at the movies uh when you're making a movie
they're like they're here with the free food did you hear and i'm just like what is this like free
free pretzel day on the office like i don't give a fuck about your five dollars worth
of free food like like i mean no offense to anyone enjoy it everyone but i don't care it's five
dollars with the free food it's not i'd rather go up and sit in my dressing room and like over the
lines or like take a quick nap so i didn't eat the whole time i was there more um for breakfast
or lunch and then one day uh filming went 12.30 in the morning, Pacific time,
so 3.30 in the morning my time,
and I hadn't eaten, and I'm just sitting over
there drinking espressos, just
shaking,
just hoping that they don't
need to see my hand do anything,
because if there's a scene where I'm like,
fuck you, I would just be like,
just tripping with weakness.
I think Kyle's an alcoholic.
He's been in there all day. He hasn't been drinking.
Shaking all over the place.
I never really go 24 hours without eating.
Unless I'm
on a survival trip.
I can. If you hit like
18 hours or like 16 hours of not eating,
have you ever not eaten long enough
that your appetite goes away
and your body is almost saying, I told this fucker for two-thirds of a day to eat and he's not eating have you ever not eaten long enough that your appetite goes away and your body is almost saying like i told this fucker for two-thirds of a day to eat and he's not eating
i'm done i'm done every day at 3 p.m every single day that happens and i'm like no i don't want to
eat 3 p.m feeling yeah yeah like i don't eat breakfast or lunch almost ever i mean if we're
if we're somewhere if we're traveling like i'll eat all three or four or five meals or something
like that.
What if she delivered the chocolate-covered strawberries right to you?
Would you still resist?
Yeah, I don't.
If I'm being honest, I don't care for those.
I say, man, man, fuck your chocolate-covered strawberries.
This is good stuff.
The thing about chocolate-covered strawberries is it's one of those combinations that I think Kyle will agree,
and most people disagree with us, but it's like you take two great things
and they're not as good together.
They don't actually work. Every time I bite one,
it shatters and falls all over me.
And then I've got three quarters of
just a strawberry and some pieces
of chocolate in my hand.
That would make Taylor happy, because they separate
into two better things.
With any kind of chocolate-covered
fruit or anything that's juicy, you always have
just a tenth of a second
of the goodness, and then
everybody has the panic lean
forward of like, oh, this is up. I should have known.
It's another fruit covered in sugar. I knew it was
going to explode and get all over me.
If I'm going to eat a dessert, I'm going to eat a real dessert.
When I was in LA, I really did
eat like shit, because like I said, every day
it would be that night and I'd get a meal. When you're in LA, I really did eat like shit because, like I said, every day it would be that night and I'd get a meal.
And when you're in Hollywood, the delivery options are endless and amazing.
I would go on Grubhub and there would be 45, 50 restaurants in a three-mile radius.
And it was every single category that they had available.
There were four dessert restaurants that were like bakeries with like a dozen kinds of cakes and 15 different kinds of pie.
So every night I was just killing it eating like two servings of like Penang curry from a Thai place and three Thai teas.
Or one night I ate a whole 18-inch pizza by myself.
It was so fucking good.
It took me like three hours, but I ate the whole damn thing.
So I ate like shit in L.A. It was great. It was my fucking good. It took me like three hours, but I ate the whole damn thing. So I ate like shit
in LA. It was great.
It was my favorite part about that whole trip.
You were kind of in a
less than ideal mood
in LA when you were there in your shitty place.
We were talking, playing Company of Heroes
late one night, and Kyle was just like,
and I'm just sitting here by myself.
You didn't get on to play
until an hour after you said you would, and now you're on here and we're playing, and I'm alone, here by myself. You didn't get on to play until an hour after you said you would.
And now you're on here and we're playing and I'm alone and it's cold.
And someone could just hop in this window and burgle me if they wanted to.
You were in a very sad place.
That first trip, I really was.
I was so lonely.
They kept putting me in these shitty places that I didn't want to be in.
And I was just fucking, you know, nothing to do.
Fucking Cindy. Fucking Cindy. Oh, she she got cursed out she got cursed out eventually
I heard sit up so Damon for your for your benefit I went and filmed a small
movie in LA like over the last couple weeks and they usually I get put in
really nice places it's usually a hotel but for some reason they're into like
doing Airbnb which sometimes works out really good and
sometimes works out real fucking bad and i was in like three shitty places in a row before they put
me in a nice apartment uh in hollywood or something at the end but yeah yeah i was i was a little
depressed that first week all by myself out there just playing that fucking video game all alone
that's how i got way better at company of heroes though yes i did like all that time i look at the
plus sides of those negative situations.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Definitely got better at the game, being all by myself.
But this last trip out there was better.
I liked the apartment a lot better.
It had 15 by 15 internet, which is good enough
to do anything and everything.
There was so much delivery food.
Even the doorman was nice.
It was a nice building I was in.
There weren't scary people around everywhere that looked like they could fuck me up that that
first place was just like a slum it really was i feel like i was just hanging out with like the
dregs of society um and like i didn't want to walk out the the door to like go get some air
because there were so many homeless in that part of town so i thought it was especially funny
because like i've never been in a movie or been in that environment. And so when I heard you texting me, like, I'm going to L.A. to film a movie, I'm like, oh, man.
He's going to be high-fiving Robert Downey Jr., finger-banging Scarlett Johansson between takes.
He's going to be doing whatever he wants.
And then he hops on the camera later that day.
I thought they'd be putting him up in a a king's palace, you know, a penthouse. And he hops on, and it's a desolate little hovel with no decorations on the walls.
Not even like that taupe color on the wall that you get in a reasonable home.
White.
Insane asylum white.
With just a mattress laid on the ground and a spare mattress just leaned up against the wall.
No windows.
Just cardboard put over the windows.
In effect, just horrific.
It was a window.
There was just no glass?
I don't know how to describe that.
Then what is a window if not glass?
A hole in the wall.
They put a big hole in the wall,
which would normally be a problem, I would think,
if you didn't cover it with something.
They just had these big fucking holes in the wall with a screen over them.
It had a screen, but look, that's not keeping anybody out of creeping into my room during the day.
Bugs.
With all my shit here.
Some bugs.
Sure, I don't know.
Not all.
It was fucking awful.
It was absurd, and I complained a lot, and Kitty complained a lot,
and then eventually the lady responsible for all that shit really got cursed out and totally avoided me afterwards on set.
Like, she'd see me coming, and she'd be like –
That's the story, because we didn't get that.
What happened with her getting cursed out?
Yeah, so I guess what had happened was when I did – so they put me in my apartment this most recent time, and a concern was doing the show I was like look I'll do this movie
I'm happy to go out there and do everything
but I gotta do my podcast and it takes
place during these hours every week
and it repeats etc etc and they're like
cool so they get me to the apartment and the internet is shit
like it won't work so I'm like
alright you gotta take me somewhere fucking else
so there's like three or four people
somewhere else coordinating me getting
taken somewhere to have better internet to film the show we're doing right now not literally but you know
last week's show and uh what was arranged was for me to go to studio 71 and like have my own
fucking badass pimp room with like you know i got a conference room with this uh this gigabit
internet and like a big table of snacks and a big table of beverages and i was going to get to meet
the people that i technically work for and and some people that i talked to a lot over the phone
and through email and work with business-wise but never have gotten to meet and cindy sends me to
the fucking movie studio instead and i and i'm in that fucking room with like cindy it's like a it's
like a coke closet or something people like shuffling in and out this lady walked in she was
like uh that's my stuff over there and i was just just rude as fuck. I was like, well, get it. I was like, you know, cause I'm doing,
it would be like if a woman walked in this room right now, I was like, uh, that's my stuff over
there. Like, I don't have time to cajole you. I was just like, get it. What the fuck do you want
from me? Go, go talk to somebody else. I don't have time for this. So I was just so pissed off
and Kitty was pissed off.'s my manager and the guy
she called who had actually done all the
arrangements at the nice place
I was supposed to go and he had set all this fancy stuff
up for me and was actually excited to meet me
he lost his shit finally and he
cursed Cindy out and really
threw her under the bus with her bosses
and yeah I didn't know it at the time
I didn't find out until after the fact but it makes sense
now because on set she wouldn't even look at me or say a word and up until then
she was always hi all perky and fucking acting like i haven't been fucking you over constantly
so it's just they're not talking to you is the most frustrating part right like i was hoping
that the way the story would go is oh yeah, yeah, she got totally cursed out. Then after that, she was, hey, Kyle, can I get you something?
How's your room?
It's not her job.
See, that's not her job anyway.
She's got a bigger job.
There was no reason.
What's her job?
I don't know, but she was my driver's boss.
She was a coordinator.
Senior driver.
Yeah.
He wasn't just a driver.
You don't just do one thing everybody had like
four jobs you know what i mean was she a producer i know what you mean i i doubt that um but um in
any case uh fuck fuck her you know she was bad at her job i was glad that she i didn't have to deal
with her anymore because she you know she's the kind of person who's so fake when she comes up
and talks to you that i know that you're being fake.
And after a while, I stopped playing along and be like, yeah, you know how it is.
And I was just straight face like, how's it going?
All right.
Yeah.
You know, if you want to develop a rapport with someone, you got to match the mood.
Right.
Come a little close.
Don't go.
If I'm at zero, don't come in at 100, baby. You didn't leave don't go if I'm at zero
Don't come in at a hundred baby. You know
Like I feel like nobody had imparted on her just how fucking mad I was
Because there's so many filters between me and her that none of my rage was getting back to her like I'm on the phone with
Kitty cursing I'm fucking screaming and making threats and talking about what I'm gonna do if they don't fucking make this right
And I'm gonna fucking lose my mind and well about what I'm going to do if they don't fucking make this right. And I'm going to fucking
lose my mind and well maybe I'll just go
fucking see the sights tomorrow. I just might
not make it in. So like
you know I'm just losing my shit.
But meanwhile she's all like
oh Herbie had a little issue.
And finally I was like yeah we had a lot of issues.
And just in a
straight way I was just like you know this problem, that problem,
this problem, that problem. And she'd be like well I guess we got all that sort of I wasn't finished yet
There was also this problem that problem this problem that problem and finally she was just kind of bitch the fuck out and just just left
And never talked to me again, so fuck her
Everybody else I'm very professional and very good at their jobs, and it was a pleasure working with them
But she's in the comments. Yeah, I'm in you brought up weren't even like
Like it's very reasonable to be like,
I was under the apprehension that there would be glass in my windows.
I thought that there would be one mattress in this room.
Like, I thought that it wouldn't look like a serial killer's den
with scratch marks on the walls and mysterious stains about.
Like, these were not, like,
oh, my God, a regular king size, not a Cali king, you bitch.
Like, you were not being like that.
He wanted a whole bowl of green M&Ms.
What a fucking maniac.
You know how many packs I had to go through?
Do you know the story behind that?
That was the Rolling Stone or someone, right?
They wanted to make sure that they were just reading it.
It was like a contract test, right?
That's exactly what it was, yeah.
So Van Halen, if I have the story right would ask for a
bowl of green m&ms only green m&ms in their contract and apparently the contracts would
have a lot of things that they asked for right like we need 240 volt power under the stage we
need 120 volt on top of the stage we need this we need that and some would go through it and like
see what they provided and some wouldn't and that bowl of green m&ms was their
like canary in the coal mine right if there's a bowl of green m&ms you know they went through the
contract and figured out what had to be in order if there wasn't they were just like yeah yeah you
know this is this concert hall i'm sure it does concert halls things but they had light shows and
pyrotechnics and needed more than and maybe if they felt like they were mistreated they'd be like you know what i didn't even have my green bowl of green
m&ms that's a contract breaker i'm out sorry no m&ms no m&m i'm out like you know yeah
you know that's where he came with the name right it's marshall mathers those are his initials
and he and originally he wrote it out m and m and they were like nah man m&m's the m&m company's gonna fuck
you over you can't be doing that so he just you know wrote it out phonetically that's the whole
history of his name did you did that just hit you woody the m&m no no i i knew that all all along
i don't look crispy to you
i don't follow like m&m at all i like his music when it's on the radio and like his
older stuff but is that has he like totally gone crazy or is he still making music or
it seemed like he was on the path to like just running off on his own or being like he hasn't
had any like he hasn't had any nutty stuff in a long time you know he said he had a drug problem
for a while with like sleeping pills and pain pills think. That's about as bad as it ever
got. He seems to be on...
Rap God came out last year,
I think, or maybe the year before. It did really well.
He's not the biggest
thing in the fucking world anymore, but I mean,
he even said... But he's still
himself. He's still making similar
music. When his album dropped,
he seemed
bigger than most, right?
I don't know if he's ruling the world like he once did,
but he was the talk for when his album was fresh.
He's no, I don't know, Michael Jackson and never will be,
but he's still a name that's more famous than, what,
98% of every other artist out there.
Everyone knows who he is.
I'm trying to think who's bigger, Snoop Dogg maybe?
I'd say they're on par as far as fame goes, probably.
Because everybody knows who Snoop Dogg is.
If you say Snoop Dogg and say Eminem to a 70-year-old person
or a 90-year-old person in a nursing home,
they'll be like, oh, I don't understand their music,
but I know who they are.
They'll kind of be like that.
They'll at least get it.
Yeah, they're famous enough that if you tell them exactly who the person is, they'll kind of be like that. Like they'll at least get it. Yeah. They're famous enough that if you tell them exactly,
uh,
who the person is,
they'll know it.
Oh,
and speaking of that,
I,
I,
I got that little line from the fighter and the kid were on the Stern show
today.
Um,
uh,
so,
uh,
that,
that was really cool.
Um,
they ended up in the post show.
They,
they kind of talked about,
um,
they talked about a bunch of stuff.
It was really neat.
I have a question.
So Stern spoke strongly about how podcasts were stupid
and not the way to do anything.
He said you need to get yourself on terrestrial radio,
get famous, and then once you're famous,
you've got options.
And did we lose Kyle?
He froze on my screen.
No, he's back.
Okay.
Row, buddy.
Anyway, did they talk about that? Did did howard stern like reiterate or go back on
his hate for podcasts so i was driving this morning and i know he didn't go back so i didn't
hear that part but i didn't hear that come up but i think what he's always said is that he doesn't
like that there are thousands and thousands of podcasts that are getting 30 views he thinks that's
stupid because they're kind of they're they, hey, I'm a broadcaster too.
And they're just kind of putting on a show
in front of their cousin and a couple of their friends
or something like that.
But I think he would be respectful of something
the size of what we do and why we've done it
because we did all sort of become famous in a way
and then build a following around ourselves.
And then that's what fuels the podcast.
I think what he's always saying is,
you can't get into this by just saying,
hey, here's the Bill Smith show, come watch and then just start broadcasting.
Like you'll never build an audience that way because there's so many options out there
of people who are already established with either like broadcasting credentials
or just internet fame credentials or like the fighter and the kid, you know,
athletic credentials and he's got
a storied life and interesting takes on things
and lots of cool friends.
We have all those things, so I don't think...
I used to be kind of sensitive when Stern
would talk shit about podcasts,
but then I realized I don't think he's talking about me,
because in the next...
He's saying, you know, you can't make any money at this,
there's no way to make money at this, and it's like,
well, this thing makes a little bit of money, so he's just not talking about us so he may have tempered
his opinions on that as well because i remember we talked about this months ago and i just looked
up a clip on youtube just like howard stern podcast and it was just him kind of ripping on it
uh like saying like i don't know maybe he was making fun of adam carolla someone like that i
don't know but it's like maybe he's changed but he came off as just profoundly petty
misinformed and totally out of his depth like he came off like a real fucking idiot and i don't
know if that's uncommon for him but he did not came off as a complete ignorant that stuck with
with me right so he was basically saying the internet you need to get famous and then once
you have fame once you're howard then you have real bargaining power, right?
And he seemed to think that the internet was not
a platform in which you could get famous.
And I'm torn, right?
On one hand, this is Howard Stern, right?
This is a guy who
knows a thing or two about careers
in show business.
On the other hand, you know,
he is, what, 60-something?
And on the other hand, put him as whatever age he got into radio in 2016,
and that dude doesn't make a fucking dent.
I'll tell you this.
He's very good.
Put him on today's radio.
I'm not saying that he won't succeed.
I'm just saying that the opportunities in terrestrial radio
are not as good as they used to be.
So I was like, I don't know if I need to diss this guy who's an expert in the field and it's hugely successful but he does seem like he
doesn't he's not an expert i think that it hits way too close to home for for him to be honest i
think that he realizes thank god i got into this and i did before everybody and their brother who
was just naturally funnier out there than me could get a show and it kind of hits too close to home where he's
seeing these people who are just not famous
online. You seem to think he doesn't have talent.
No, he does. I'm saying that
I think it makes it, I think it threatened him
making him feel like, am I now on the outs?
Like, am I not hip with it? No, they're wrong.
They're not going to get famous. Terrestrial
and fucking satellite radio is a way bigger
deal, reaching a tenth of the audience.
It's big now. It's 30 million subscribers on satellite radio which he made
he made that very prediction 10 years ago
or something like that that they would hit that number
so he's like pewdiepie size
yes bigger assuming every single person
is listening to him
of course everybody who subscribes to sirius
well a lot of them do like he's got two channels
and they're the two most popular channels
and as far as like people who have shows, there's Opie, but his show is not nearly as big as it used to be.
Yeah, his show sucks.
Yeah, there's really nobody to compare him with at this point.
And he came up and beat people.
It's not like he just rose to power and there was an empty void for him to fill.
He came up against Imus.
He came up against imus he came
up against like i don't know all those little he he he talks about him a lot these morning show
guys that were big and in new york or in or in los angeles that that were established that had
a stick that had a built-in audience already that went back a generation sometimes and he came in
and slaughtered them all i lived through one of those now i, I feel like the Opie, Mad Cow, whoever that was,
and a few others were like his legendary battles.
But there was a Philadelphia show called The Morning Zoo.
And The Morning Zoo was like a big deal.
I remember as a kid, I was in South Jersey.
So we bought these extra powerful antennas so that we could get The Morning Zoo
and hear all the jokes.
It was almost like SNL type thing where like you,
if you wanted to be cool and hip,
you had to like follow sports and know what the morning zoo talked about.
And,
and then Howard came along and I just remember the battles,
right?
The morning zoo people were like,
he doesn't know the streets around here.
He doesn't know the teams.
He doesn't know who the captain of the hockey team is here.
He hears Broad Street.
He couldn't find it without a cab.
And it was just like piece by piece.
They eroded it until he beat them.
And then the morning zoo, I guess, went out.
I don't know.
They just faded away to me.
Yeah, I don't like it when he talks about podcasts.
There's a few topics that he'll start talking about
and I'll look at whoever I'm in the car with and be like,
he is so ignorant about what he's talking
about right now. Watch.
Any second, you're going to hear the audio
change because Gary's going to get in his ear.
Gary's going to get in his ear and be like,
actually that PewDiePie guy made $8 million last
year on fucking YouTube on ad revenue alone. He has way more subs than we do so chill out on that guy yeah dude so
the the numbers on the internet are amazing now like it so i've talked about this before
i've been waiting for the internet to have an impact on politics forever right for youtube
to have an impact on politics in terms of like fact checking.
Like, oh, now that the YouTube era comes,
we're gonna see what they said in 1992
and compare it to what they're saying in 2016.
We're gonna see what they say here
and compare it to what they say there.
People will mix together these videos
and it'll have an impact on the race.
And then it hasn't.
Like, for the last eight years,
both races have taken place in the YouTube era.
And I don't remember the YouTube really impacting the way that people thought.
But this year, like Hillary has a video called, like there's a video about Hillary called like 13 Minutes of Hillary Lying, something close to that.
And it's gone viral, right?
Like everybody's seen it.
It's made to the front page of Reddit multiple times.
But more than that, like television stations, you know, Fox News and the Drudge Report and like a couple others are bringing attention to this video showing 13 minutes of Hillary lying.
And it's not all straight up lies.
Like I have a few.
Sometimes people change their mind.
You know, I have.
And she's been around for so long
1992 was what how many years ago was that 8 plus 16 it's 24 years ago i feel like you can say one
thing in 92 and one thing in 2016 and not necessarily be a straight up lie you know it's It's just a change. But anyway, the internet now is so big that it impacts everything.
I think it was big last time around, but I feel like Romney was so unsavvy at anything internet-wise that we just didn't notice.
But Obama ran a – there was Obama girl,
there was so much stuff going on with Obama online.
Like he really, I won't say he threw his lasso on it
and wrote it into the White House,
like some of the candidates are doing this year's simul.
I feel like Sanders and Trump
had these crazy grassroot movements on,
passionate movements online that are just incredibly
large and incredibly active and
very high energy.
It's absurd. And we
haven't seen that before.
And you keep waiting for them to die out
like a fad, like we've seen in the past.
These, what do they call them, slacktivists.
We keep expecting
the slacktivist thing to happen, where it's like,
oh yeah, they hung out on the Wall Street steps for two weeks, but then after a while you start
smelling and they all went back to their basements or whatever.
Or less. They clicked like and then moved on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this time around, it's months and months and months and months
into this thing, and all of them are still going strong and in some ways gaining momentum.
And you see Sanders uh either matching or beating
hillary at raising money at this late stage of the game when he's you know she's the presumptive
nominee and he's still out earning her in some regards like bernie is the current best case
internet scenario right and compare that to ron paul the old best case internet scenario right
ron paul was the darling of the internet and he was a blip in real life.
You know, I don't know, 5%. I made that up, but it's about right. Bernie, on the other hand,
call it like 45%, you know, to Hillary's 55. With very low negatives. Yeah. He's the new internet's
best case scenario. You fast forward four years and winning the internet is winning the race.
It may, you may not have to wait that long.
Might be this year.
Might have to wait till November and you see that winning the internet won the race.
Because if I'm an average voter and I look at this thing, it's, I see Trump and I'm like,
yeah, he's braggadocious and egocentric and he says things that I don't always agree with.
But I kind of like this, this, and that.
I like that at least he says what he thinks is true all the time,
and I don't think he'd lie to me to make him say –
I think he'd lie to me in some regards,
but I don't think he'd tell the same kinds of lies that a Clinton would tell.
Does that make any sense?
I feel like Trump's lies –
I think that people like it most because it's refreshing
that there's so little time between the question
and his ridiculous answer even if it's shitty where you know that there's no time sitting there
like there's no buffer of like a sentence of well you know when with a question like this what we
all have to sit down and consider before anything is and then just nonsense while they're waiting
for someone to tell them what to say in their ear he'll just say nope don't like it even if he's
totally wrong it's still like all
right at least that's different john miller right i i saw them they're like you know hey
did you pretend not to be you as your own publicist john miller speaking on behalf of
you but it was really you and he's like what ah it doesn't even sound like me i don't know where
you got this that's not me doesn't sound like me. I don't know where you got this. That's not me.
Doesn't sound like me.
And I'm like, it sounds like him to me.
All these inflections and the pauses and the gravitas.
It was him.
It was so him.
It was totally him.
And he straight up just flat out lied and denied.
And I bet he'll stick to that forever.
Who cares?
I love it.
This has been the most entertaining
fucking that's the thing dude normally these gaffes would sink a politician yeah trump runs
on gaffeline right he just bulletproof yeah it doesn't matter he is he's a political terminator
with his um college plan did you hear it um no i did Let me see if I can outline it a little better. But basically,
what he wants is for colleges to have some skin in the game in the loan business. And the outcome
of this will be twofold. One, prices should start to matter a little more because if people default,
prices should start to matter a little more because if people default,
then the college will suddenly care.
Whereas today, the government is in the loan business
and the college just receives the money.
Two, if people don't finish college,
there's gonna be three now,
if people don't finish college,
the college doesn't care, right?
You know, if you go and drop out your sophomore year,
the college has no skin in the game.
They don't care how hard it is for you to pay back that loan. They didn't lend it to you in the first place.
And third, if you go for a major that doesn't set you up for a job,
then the college doesn't care about that. You know, so every damn counselor in the school is like, you know, if your passion is English literature,
you should pursue that hard
you know do you love gender studies is that what you daydream about all day and night
you should pursue a degree in gender studies and then romanian literature of course let's get you
a degree in that yeah now there's one employable job for that on earth fast forward now i don't
love all the trump plans that damon's new I'm here praising him. But this one particular thing he's saying where he's like, yeah, you know, if colleges had some skin in the game,
they would be turning out people who were prepared to get jobs that could pay back loans.
I think, huh.
Like that could guide an entire nation towards more employable choices.
Yeah, I like that one.
That one sounds good. And it makes sense and it seems easily implementable unlike
Sanders who's just like I'll pay for it I got it don't worry you're you're
Romanian literature fuck yeah I mean you but still you know yeah yeah I all right
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I really like this thing. I got it on my tater right now but that's just so i won't lose it and uh i really did just get a second one i think that
thing's on the way i uh i got a gold one this time it's kind of the the opposite of this flat black
one wore mine yesterday went to hope speech and debate award ceremony wanted to step up my look
a touch threw on the movement watch. By the way, thank you
from whoever sent me this tater.
I really appreciate it. If anyone else wants
to send me random things, that's where you do it.
So that guy actually shipped you
just a potato with stamps on it?
Tater, precious!
Yeah.
Potato.
Damon, have you been doxxed? Have people been showing up
at your door, sending you pizzas?
No, man.
I keep a low profile
in where it is that I live.
I'm not even in a bad neighborhood.
Trust and believe, nobody's coming over here.
No time soon.
No time soon.
It's all about keeping a low profile, man.
It's easy to find anybody
on the internet to begin with.
Unless you are in a nice little compound
and you have all type of crazy security going on around that compound,
people are going to find you if they're looking for you.
But if you're into certain things in life,
nobody's really coming for you.
I have a theory about this.
That's probably the best way I can put it.
I think that the reason that people aren't sending
pizzas and SWAT teams and whatever
to your house, one, you're real likable,
but two, you're not doing gaming.
If you were doing gaming,
if you were playing Call of Duty,
SWAT team would be knocking on your door,
David, can I come in?
Oh yeah, that's what they would say.
I heard you got crack in there.
Oh my god. David's like, we're coming to the house today. I'm in yeah, that's what they would say I heard you got cracking
Planet are you from the SWAT team bank? They don't knock they do they call ahead. I'm sitting there playing cod and the door explodes
I'm lucky cuz they only put one in my leg
Hey, I heard a joke.
Are you ready?
Run it.
Why are the police like a box of chocolates?
You got me with that one, bro. Because they'll both kill your dog.
That's actually, okay, that wasn't bad.
We're going somewhere else.
I was expecting for us to go somewhere else.
He's keeping it light.
He's like, I'm going to keep it light this week.
Whenever he goes into one of those,
I like to remove my face from this video capture.
Indefinitely, during the deposition,
when this is being played in court,
I'm not even present.
They're like, well, that Kyle guy wasn't even there. We don't need him today.
Yo, fellas, do you guys remember
the turning point of your
channels? The one video that was
the turning point? I shared mine already.
Yeah, I uploaded
one in, like, 2014
and I was just like, that's it.
I'm done with this.
That's a wrap.
and I was just like, that's it.
I'm done with this. That's it.
That's a wrap.
It's over.
I started putting up more of my own
self-ranting about stupid shit
just for fun, not trying to get back
into the YouTube scene or anything.
It just got to a point where it was like
I'm not really having the fun
that I had with it.
I used to get excited because because i started it when in college so i'd get home from class and i'd have nothing to
do for a while and so i'd be like i'm gonna make a video like this is fun and so i had a great time
with that for a few years and it got to be a point where i was to be sitting around just like
i don't want to play nazi zombies again i don't want to talk about what the fuck else like there's
nothing to even say. And so I just
kind of stopped, which was a little douchey. I should
have made a goodbye video, but
you know, hindsight's 20-20.
You got that done now.
There was a bunch of them.
Because it's like different stepping blocks.
You know, the first step...
At first, like you said a minute ago, that first time you
break a thousand views, it's like, holy shit,
a thousand fucking people? You probably told your sibling or your parent that first time you break a thousand views, it's like, holy shit, a thousand fucking people?
You know, you probably told your sibling or your parent or something, like, a thousand fucking people watched me do a thing.
You know, that's pretty nuts.
And then as I, you know, with gaming stuff, I remember the first gaming video I made that got a quarter million views on my channel.
And then, you know, the first one that got a million views on the Machinima channel.
And then, you know, when I transitioned from gaming stuff into real firearms
and explosives and stuff, and there was the
first video that got 3 million, and the first
one that got 10 million, and the first one that got 25 million
or whatever. There was a bunch of them.
Little things along the way.
There was a month when I got like 120
million views or something, and one July
or something crazy like that.
Little stepping blocks along the way.
You never know, like you said, why something is going to go from kind of viral to ultra viral.
Maybe it gets picked up by a television station or a newspaper.
It's on G4 or Reddit is a great one.
You get stuck on the front page of Reddit and you're on there.
The way the Reddit algorithm used to work, you'd be on there for a very long period of time.
the way the Reddit algorithm used to work,
you'd be on there for a very long period of time.
It seems like now, I was on,
I think a little clip of me doing something,
a gif or a jif, depending on if you're an asshole or not,
was on there last week of me shooting some shotgun rounds,
and that was on the front page,
but it was off in six or eight hours or something like that.
It used to seem like you got on there,
and it rode for a day, like 24 full hours.
I remember the helping hands i got like um i think i got my first like thousand subs on my own and that's about when i did a dual com
with wings of redemption and that you know gave me a bump and then somewhere around 11 000 subs
but i missed something i just made up a hand signal for Wings of Redemption.
Okay.
And then somewhere around 11,000.
I was going to do a dual comm with Hutch.
And respectfully, I think that he just had a lack of energy around it.
So he actually gave me the login and password to his channel.
And he's like, you know what?
Just log in.
Upload a video on your own. It's cool. And he's like, you know what? Just log in, upload a video on your own.
It's cool.
And Hutch was like king of gaming at the time.
It was like PewDiePie's password.
And I remember I was like, holy shit.
Like, I just got Zeus's lightning bolt.
Like, I could do shit.
I could like videos.
I could, you know, I didn't do anything bad.
All of his content.
Yeah.
One video at a time and just kill them all forever
at the time if you liked a video
it would put it on that channel's home page's
feed and that would drive
he had some real
power but I didn't abuse it
but I did upload my own video
and I want to say the impact
of it is I got from like 11,000
subs to 17
and then I went from there like 17
I was jelly oh really yeah yeah oh that was a huge deal you went from like the I mean like you said
from like 10 to like a 70 increase you know at a time when you had 10,000 something like that it
was like yeah 11 to 17 is stuck in my head I'm not sure about that and then um the next like 1.2 million
subs i just got on my own like just by uploading uploading uploading there was a period when black
ops 1 dropped uh i i'd done a video called shucks you you know the silo green song um yeah i made
one about noob tubes in call of duty from after mod war 2. And then right at the start of Black Ops 1,
because I bought the game early, I had a couple good tips.
And just that combined with that,
I had a few million view videos in a row.
It was great.
The game rolled out.
Everybody gets home with their copy.
And everybody's wanting to watch a video to learn how to do a thing.
And all of a sudden, Woody has a music video from the last game
kind of saying goodbye to it. And fuck you at the same time to the last game with all of its
moderate all of its one man army noob tubes and such and then and then at the same and that's
riding high on his channel kind of doing some front page stuff and bringing traffic in and then
he hits them with like three or four informative uh to the point videos that were one of a kind
all four or five of them and it was big you did really well at the beginning of the yeah i was what i was like top five growing channels on youtube
yep and uh like i look back on that and and almost forget like i was never higher than
the 112th that's where i peaked i was the 112th largest channel on youtube
but in terms of views and subs i was routinely like in the 40s to 60s like in you know in views
and subs uh yeah back when they had the little medals on the bottom of your i missed it would
be like number 45 most subscribed number 63 most viewed today when i when i got to like 300 000
subscribers i completely dominated all the r Russian categories there were to dominate like every single one of them and
Russia today the news organ a organization lobbied YouTube to remove me from the category because they were tired of being number two at everything
Yeah, that makes sense though because you're just a pretend Russian and they're actually like a Russian news organization
And I I thought that was a that was even better that like I'm coming in here being a Russian that any fucking Russian can be at this game.
Now these goddamn capitalists are pretending to be us for money.
I'm better being you than you are.
Fuck off, Ivan.
Let's take it there for a moment.
Because I know it happens with a lot of, you know, just YouTubers in general.
Have you ever hit that point of, I don't want to do it anymore, but yet you just kept going on
because of your subscribers? In the bedroom, you mean? Of course, no doubt. I get that feeling
every day about like five or six different things. Like this morning, my alarm clock goes off at like
eight or whatever. And I went to bed last night at 4.30.
So it's just like I hit the 10-minute snooze, and then it goes again,
and it's like it's make or break now.
You don't have 10 more minutes.
So it's just like, all right, I have to get up and start moving
and doing all the things that make my day to come together,
and I have to do it, so do it.
So I force myself along drudgingly through most tasks in life.
I'll have to piss really bad, and I'll be like, I could wait a little longer.
I know. You just took that to a morbid place.
I didn't say to kill yourself. I'm just talking about your YouTube channel.
Have you ever got to that point where you're like, I just don't as far as YouTube.
I don't want to do it. I hit it hard. I used to upload every day.
I uploaded every day for like a thousand days in it hard. So I used to upload every day. I uploaded every day for like 1,000 days in a row, right?
Like a lot of people upload every day, and they're like, after a year, they take their break.
No, man, 1,000 days in a row or more uploading every day.
That's third why.
He is so dedicated to YouTube.
That's not true at all.
That's the possibility.
But really, like a couple things happened. One, I didn't need the money like I once did
and to I guess the feedback like that that was positive feedback you know would drive me to make
more content it made me feel good about what I was doing I would start getting negative feedback
and it was like why am I doing this?
I don't need the money.
People are giving me shit.
I'd get less shit if I didn't do it.
There's the ticket.
And I never stop, stop.
People would always dog me.
Like, why'd you quit YouTube?
Why'd you quit YouTube?
And I'm like, man, I made like five hours of videos this week.
Why don't you go to Jenna Marvel?
She made seven minutes of video this week.
Like, you know, I never felt like I quit. I just eased off. I made like five hours of videos this week. Why don't you go to Jenna Marvel? She made seven minutes of video this week.
I never felt like I quit.
I just eased off.
But I can see why they say that because I used to upload daily.
And because they're assholes.
That, yeah. I have, I think, a meaner subscriber base than most.
I think that comes with gaming, to be fair.
No, there's something...
You know, we could dissect the perfect storm
that created Woody's fan base for an hour,
and I've thought about it a lot,
and I bet Woody's thought about it even more,
about what brought this group of assholes together.
You know, there's a lot of really nice...
No, right?
There's a lot of really great fans out there not
just woody's gamer tag fans but the pk fans who watch us every weekend they're incredibly supportive
and they want to be they feel like they're part of the show and when i meet them in real life
they know how to pick up a conversation so that it's like they're a member of the show and and
they know they know me so well already that they know my life and what's going on and they get to
be like so how's it coming with you know restoring that that car that you're working on i'm like oh it's
going really well we got some you know we're hitting with some 220 grit right now making
everything smooth you know they know what's up we've got great fans but there is a small minority
of real motherfucking pieces of shit out there who are just um spoiled rotten and um help me out here they they're
entitled that's what i was searching for they're very entitled they feel like they're entitled to
whatever it is that they don't feel that woody is providing at that moment they're they're just
fucking they're that four-year-old kid at the buffet whose parents never taught him to like
be a reasonable person and they're just you know causing a fucking scene being obnoxious and nobody's saying anything and that's them as adults now you know they're they're
they're 15 to 25 years old and and you know i wish they weren't such such jerks i bet they don't know
they're jerks they probably think that they're just snarky my video today was a miss right so
i've been making daily vlogs almost five days week. And not every day is really fascinating, right?
And my Thursday, like I didn't,
something about the fact that I had to leave
in the early afternoon had me just do less all day.
So I did a little bit of work in this table
and then I drove to my daughter's award ceremony,
which is where I had to go.
And my daughter is this award winning
speaker, right? She competes and I say speech and debate, but she does the speech part of it.
And I filmed her doing one of her routines and I've included it in my daily vlog.
And, uh, I haven't talked about it here and there. So I thought there'd be a big curiosity about it.
My gosh, right? All sorts of like, like their dog and her giving her a hard time. Listen,
Right? All sorts of, like, they're dogging her, giving her a hard time.
Listen, she got, like, fucking triple ruby sealed this year.
Like, I hardly know what that means, but I know no one else did. She led her team in National Forensic League points this year and last year.
She's good.
She got invited to Nationals.
We're flying out to Sacramento on Friday, you know, eight days from now.
And they're all like, yeah,ody really exaggerated how good she is i think you just don't know what
you're looking at you know like there's rules like she has to read it she can't memorize it
she can't move her feet she this is that you know she was a little far from the mic compared to where
i'd like her to be she had a mark on stage where she was supposed to be so she could be in the light.
But they were dogging her.
And like one dipshit was on the PKA subreddit.
He made like a five-page paragraph thing about how my last vlog was the worst one I've ever made and all the things he needs to see for me to get back.
And for some reason, you read it.
He's like citing sources.
He was a dick. he was such a dick and and so you say like oh we've dissected why woody's fan base is the way it is and like
you said not all of them if you're out here being like what he's dogging on me maybe i'm not dogging
on you right but this guy don't come back if you don't like my videos don't come back don't just
sit here and rip me rip the fuck out of me you know and um i think it's because of the sort of thing i'm doing right now like proving that i read it
uh maybe i don't know why you do that yeah it's how i'm wired i don't know it's been months since
i've been on it no you you can't get blood from a stone uh you know you put your best foot forward
i i i don't go on there I don't read their drivel. You
have to keep in mind that many of them are literally children. Literally children. If
you encounter them in real life, you would really discount their opinions about things.
You might listen to them because you are a polite adult, but you would walk away and
be like, can you believe that kid? Do you hear what he said? Well, he's 25. We'd slap
each other on the back and laugh about how you'll be living on welfare
or something like that you know or how you're gonna fail at life it's there's a lot of them
are children and and maybe you won't fail at life maybe you'll just mature up in four or five or six
years and you'll be you'll be you'll look back on this and you'll be like man i was kind of a
shithead i know taylor you've described the same thing, that when you matured somewhere between, say, 18 and where you are now, 24, 25, right?
That you look back at 18-year-old you and you're like, man, I was kind of a dick, wasn't I?
I thought I knew what was what and I was all wrong.
And I know I did.
The same is true for me.
I look back at the thoughts I had when I was 19-year-old me and I thought I had this figured out and that figured out.
And I was really ignorant about a lot of things.
I like Taylor's parenting advice, to be meaner to your children.
Yes.
I still stand by that, you know.
Not really.
And I don't think I said be meaner to your children.
I'm paraphrasing.
I just said don't be as coddling, you know,
because I grew up in the generation,
I think Kyle probably caught the beginning of it,
where, you know, my dad was not one to play into the whole,
like, everybody gets a trophy, aren't you happy, Taylor, that you get one too?
No, that trophy got screened at dad and never saw me,
unless I won or something.
He was not about that.
I lost, it was crying, and it was depression,
and it was a terrible thing.
It made you want to get better.
When you lose, it should be terrible because losing and being a loser is a terrible thing
and you should aspire to never have that happen to you.
But it's going to happen, so get used to it and fight through it.
I also thought of it differently.
Even as a child, if I was playing soccer like they did bring out the big tray of participation
trophies for all the kids like even as like a six-year-old i i felt like i was being made fun of
and like condescending like a six eight-year-old i was thinking like this is they they think i'm so
dumb that i forgot that we lost the game like that's how they know if i'm a parent right and
you're my kid then i don't necessarily go hard on you because you don't need it, right?
On the other hand, if you take your participation trophy and say, look, Dad, I'm the bomb, then, Damon, see my hip references?
Look, Dad, I'm the bomb.
Then I might be like, eh, you're a firecracker at best.
That's a participation trophy.
Yeah, I never encountered any of that.
It was always, when I lost, it was bad, and nobody coddled me.
Maybe too much so.
Maybe, you know, it was a bad thing when you lost.
You had done poorly, and you were treated a little bit poorly.
It wasn't like it was, ha, look what he did.
Everybody see Kyle Tripp when he was running into home?
Ha!
Gary Johnson's kid went a fucking trip.
He had a double last week.
You know, it wasn't like that,
but it was like, that wasn't any good.
You're not, you know, you're tucking your head
or you're not following through.
You're, you know, you're not doing this.
You're not doing that.
We got to work on this.
Let's go out this weekend.
Let's get in the batting cage you know it would be critique like on your
technique and stuff afterward from your dad like take yeah and i injured my fucking throwing arm
and and and it was a problem and it still clicks to this day yeah i want to talk damon
i'll ask kissing aside you have a vibe about you that strikes me as cool, right?
In high school, how did that work for you?
Did you have that going on?
Were you popular?
Did everyone love your jokes?
What's high school you?
It took a minute to get here.
A lot of people don't know.
I was born and raised a Jehovah Witness.
So I was a
kid in church, my Tuesdays, my Thursdays, my Saturdays, my Sundays, it was Bible study. It was
knocking on your doors, you know, 7 a.m., 8 o'clock in the morning. I carried that with me through the
better half of high school. So I pretty much kept to myself when I decided to disassociate myself and venture off into the world
is when I slowly started changing.
And I think more so when I became a certified asshole,
which I call myself today,
that's when everything completely changed.
And it kind of works for me only on YouTube
because I came into the game with that exterior shell.
I tell individuals you have to have that hardened shell
if you plan on sitting there really reading comments all day long
because people are going to pretty much tear you apart.
But the more positive that you actually put onto the universe,
eventually it's going to come back to you.
So I can be evil and upset and mad about life as I'm going through life
and nitpicking on every negative thing
that actually happens.
But instead, I'll just keep on putting out those sunshines, even when I'm getting that
smoke blowing up my ass, because I know what's coming.
You know what I'm saying?
I still remain positive through it all and just try to help individuals along the way.
So it actually just, it works in my favor.
That's a good attitude to have.
I like it.
That's great.
I definitely try.
You know, every day is going to be a little bit different than last,
but, you know, you just got to figure it out.
And when you have, like I said, myself, I have two girls,
so everything they see me do, you know,
I try to make sure it reflects in a positive way.
You're not going to win every single day,
but the thing is you're going to get another chance to do better than the day before,
God willing. If you're above ground, you make it count.
So about the Jehovah's Witness thing, you were raised that way.
Were you all in up until high school,
or did you kind of mentally check out
and kind of just had to stick with it for a while because of your family?
Were you pretending?
No, I was, I mean, I would say
it's about my sophomore year.
I was all in. I remember giving
my first talk in front of the congregation
at seven years old, you know what I'm saying?
So talking in front of large amounts of
individuals, and it never ever bothered me.
And when I actually had to start doing it in my
adult years, people were like, are you not nervous?
I'm like, no, because this is how my life
started. It started talking in front of large congregations, large groups of people. So I was just kind of used
to it. But year round sophomore year, I checked out, man. The ladies started coming in. I was
ready to go ahead and start dealing with the ladies on a different level. So you could either
go through the mental and emotional battle with yourself of trying to remain in the congregation
and then deal with the ladies, or you're going to have to cut one off so you can go out there
and learn for yourself. You know, I have a lot of respect for the Jehovah's Witnesses because I feel
like there's a lot of Christians out there who talk a big game, but I had a friend that I worked
with who was a Jehovah's Witness. He was from Haiti, and I think there's a high population of
them there, and he was talking's a high population of them there.
And he was talking about going out every weekend.
You only get one.
We sold cars.
You get one day off a week at tops.
A lot of times you just work through it.
But he would spend his one day off, you know, going door to door doing his thing.
And I was like, that's a hallmark of a believer. Like, if this guy was half-assing this or for whatever reason,
and there are many that people go toward religion,
but maybe don't have it in their heart.
Like, this guy's a true believer.
I have a lot of respect for that.
And for what he did.
And as far as, like, intensity of belief, you know,
like, the craziest, like, most, like, into it Jehovah's Witness out there
that's just, like, all they think about,
the worst they're going to do to you still is, like,
knock on your door and maybe bother you for a couple minutes until you say to leave you know like
there's no threat of like oh my god like there's a bunch of extreme jehovah's downtown we better
avoid the area so that's not one that mormons do the same thing where they go around and go on
missions they actually kind of they put their money where their mouth is as far as what they
believe last week i was wishing that a jehovah's witness would come knock on my door i was so lonely
uh i was like man we're someone would try to come spread the word right now i'm open to it i'd love
to sit down and pray with somebody right now just start explaining looking out the blinds trying to
wave people down i see you guys across the street come on over. Hey, Senator over here. Senator over here. I could use a little
salvation right about then.
It was awful. I really dislike LA.
And I hate that... We talked about this a bit
on PKN, and I don't want to shit talk one of the largest
countries in the world, but man, I don't care for it.
And I've been to a lot of the countries in this country.
All the major ones, I believe.
I don't think I've been to St. Louis.
And that's a pretty big city.
But most of them.
The whole east coast and the whole south and the whole southwest.
Have you been to Philly?
Yeah.
What did you do there?
I had a three-hour layover.
I got out, ran and got.
No, no.
But I wanted a Philly cheesesteak.
So I got out and got a taxi.
I was like, hey, I'm here for three hours. Let me get a Philly cheesesteak, so I got out and got a taxi.
I was like, hey, I'm here for three hours.
Let me get a Philly cheesesteak.
And he was like, I got the spot.
And then I realized it was like Cheez Whiz and old beef.
I was like, I don't know.
It was all right.
That's what a real Philly cheesesteak is, I think.
I told him I wanted it to be authentic.
I was like, I want the cheesesteak that you would get, right?
I don't want some touristy bullshit.
Don't send me to where there's a line of 80 people taking their photos and selfies and stuff.
Take me to go get a cheesesteak.
And it was okay, but I felt like it was a bit of a wasted trip.
I think it's overrated.
Cheesesteaks and po'boy sandwiches are things that people ate because there was nothing better.
If you go back into whatever time they were making Philly cheesesteak for dinner after their steel factory,
if they had real sliced cheese,
they wouldn't have used the canned stuff.
That's definitely some poor people food when you think about it. Now it's just
become trendy and everybody's like,
yeah, it's an authentic Philly cheesesteak.
Really, it's just like, that's cheese whiz
and low-grade beef you're eating there.
You're just not appreciating it, man.
That's great FME. We were talking about that po'' boy the best po' boy i ever had when i was in new orleans we're
out there filming when i did my television show back in 2013 and i was in the french quarter and
that was the first time i had a shrimp po' boy that that just it just blew my mind it's like i
can't have a po' boy from anywhere else but new Orleans. That's it. It's good food down there.
I was down there where they had the oil spill.
What do they call it?
The something coast.
The Gulf?
No, not the Gulf.
I can't think of the specific area where that oil spill really impacted down there in Louisiana.
And I remember we stopped at this place, and the food was amazing.
I've never had real Cajun food.
And just everything from the gumbo and jambalaya all that stuff it was so fucking good i loved it
cajun food's great like those big boils that they do where they just have like a big pot full of
crabs and corn and and uh and dewy sausages and all that and they just dump it out and little
bits like uh corn on the cob in there oh that's the best meal i love how it's just a mess and you
can just yeah it's like if you, and you can just, yeah.
It's like if you're eating ribs in public,
but someone across from you buys a burger.
It's like, well, now I can't enjoy my ribs
because I'm making a big mess, and you're watching me.
But if everybody has ribs,
or if everybody's eating out of the boiled pot
with crab legs, you feel okay.
Oh, man.
Let's talk last meal.
Eat each of you.
All right.
Let's see your last final meal what would you get there's gonna
be a lot of gravy um so the problem with that is i feel like if i knew that it's my last meal i
won't be able to eat it because when i'm like even if it's something that i'm not afraid of but that
i'm just uh nervous about uh you know if i've got a big thing to do tomorrow i i won't there's your
last meal and then you're getting taken up to heaven Elijah style.
That's what's going on.
I like french fries.
It would be a lot. I think I would
instead of like, yeah, get me this
one thing and I'll enjoy that. I think I would like
30 things and just nibbling and just
going from one thing to the other. I want a bite of
a Five Guys hamburger. I want some Five Guys
french fries. Those are there because french
fries and hamburgers are one of my favorite things. So you would get a Five Guys burger and French fries.
You can't just say I want a bunch of everything. Cajun fries. I get the Cajun fries. Yeah. Here's
what I eat when I go there. It's 2,300 calories. I get the large Cajun fry. I get the double meat
burger with bacon and all my toppings on it. And I get a large fountain drink, and it's 2,300 calories when I eat that thing.
I would also get from Lou Malnati's in Chicago a deep dish pizza,
pepperoni and extra garlic.
I would like some really good Najiri sushi, yellowtail.
I'd like a few pieces of that.
It's just like a bed of rice with the raw fish on top.
That's my jam.
I like that a lot.
I probably want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, at least a bite of rice with the raw fish on top. That's my jam. I like that a lot. I probably want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,
at least a bite of one,
because I live with somebody with an extreme peanut allergy,
so I don't get them often.
So, like, you know, when I went to L.A.,
first thing I did, like, stop me by the gas station.
I'm going to get some peanut butter, some jelly, and some milk.
Like, I'm going to have a sandwich while I'm here.
For real.
Yeah.
I'm going to be drinking a Virgil's root beer, but not just any Virgil's root beer.
I want the liter bottle with the cantilever top that's got the special nutmeg, the limited edition bottle.
I'm going to have me one of those.
And probably chicken fried steak with lots of gravy, mashed potatoes.
Ooh, that's a good one.
I like that.
I like gravy over everything.
The mashed potatoes would be covered in the gravy.
The chicken fried steak
and some good yeast rolls with some of that honey butter.
There'd be a lot of shit going on, man.
I see that.
They're going to have to wheel you to the execution chamber.
It is.
I would just get incredibly
drunk, incredibly high, and then just
make sure that I could eat as much and maybe get
a vomitorium kind of thing going. Just like throw up like a pound
of this deliciousness and keep going. I feel like if it's your last meal, like bulimia's on the table,
right? Yeah, that's what I'm handling.
If someone's going to be electrocuting you, you kind of want them
to be frying something that's going to smell gross and be nasty for them in your stomach.
Oh yeah, I'm going to drink like a quart of bacon grease right before i go to the chair you know it's not that bad the executioner's over there like stomach growling and stuff he's
like i gotta get i get out of here i got a hankered for a bacon sandwich just just let you
know i'm gonna just clip out that part of you saying
for your next video, you will be taking
down bacon grease.
That's going to be like the opening of my next food review.
You're just saying you're about to take down
some bacon grease. So everybody have something to look forward to.
Yeah.
I like bacon a lot. I'm not in love with bacon.
I'm pretty good friends with Harley
and those guys from Epic.
I'm not in love with your bacon enthusiasm
because if you go too far with it,
it's aggravating to everyone because it's like you're trying to co-opt a cool food.
Why is it cool? It just tastes good, right?
I like bacon sandwiches.
I like mayonnaise a lot.
That's one thing that a lot of people don't like.
I like mayonnaise on everything, and I like a lot of mayonnaise.
For anybody out there who does like mayonnaise the next grilled cheese you make
you put mayonnaise on the bread i swear that cheese bro yes if you put why would you do that
to a grilled cheese just listen to me listen to me god damn it i know what i'm talking about here
you put the mayonnaise on the bread you put two slices of cheese in the middle then you put it
in one of those like panini smusher makers until that thing is
melty and golden brown on the outside, and it's
delicious. It's the best way. I won't eat
a grilled cheese if it doesn't have mayonnaise on it.
Damn. It's good. Oh, man. That's gross.
Chicken sandwiches? I want that shit slathered
with it. I can dip fries in mayonnaise.
It's not that bad.
You got a mayo guy?
I actually stopped messing with
mayo probably about... shit. almost two years, bro.
Almost two years I've cut mayo out.
Congratulations.
I mean, if mayo was on something that I review, I'm going to leave it on there.
But as far as if I'm doing something on my own, I won't get mayo.
I love it.
I like tuna salad, chicken salad, potato salad.
All that's got mayo and mustard and stuff like that in it.
Anything with mayo, I'm a big fan of it's terrible for you too
are you like miracle whip mayo salad dressing or hellman's mayo neither dukes it's dukes they
make that stuff in the south and it on the bottle on the thing it says real mayonnaise
because nothing else tastes like when you get this stuff this stuff out, it'll sit on the spoon of the knife and jiggle.
It'll jiggle
like Miracle Whip.
I don't know. The consistency is
that if you put it on your knife and jiggled it,
it'd just stick to the knife like glue or something.
Duke's mayonnaise, you get a spoonful of it and jiggle it
and it's all jiggly.
It's thick.
You want a little bit of bounce in your...
After I make the sandwich, I lick the knife. I want it. That's what you want. You want a little bit of bounce in your... After I make the sandwich,
I lick the knife. I want it all.
I love that shit. I love mayonnaise. It's a
cornerstone of my diet.
Alright, Ted Taylor, what's going to be your
final meal, bro, on your way out? What is your
final meal?
I need some steamed
snow crab legs and not
a couple clusters. I need
twice as much as you think a human can eat
that much because i i tear through crab like it's it's uh if we ever get together and go out to eat
to a seafood place kyle i'm gonna order the crab and you're gonna sit there and watch me like i am
mozart like i'm gonna do crab shack and go oh no't. Joe's Crab Shack, they don't have an unlimited crab meal, which means that I just end up ordering like six entrees.
They didn't last time I went.
It's a limited time.
They bring you a bucket.
I've still got the bucket.
But regardless, they'll bring out a full serving for each of us, and I'll be completely done with every bit of meat out of it in like four minutes.
It's gross to watch because when you break open crab it's just
kind of like a of of liquid that goes out and you just cut her everybody no not just butter like
when you break the the crab there's a little juice coming out i don't even put butter on most of the
pieces i just wolf them right down because i like crab i also have a nice uh filet mignon
with the bacon around it rare a little bit just a teeny bit warm on the inside
maybe a little cool i like it when it's so red it just looks like it's just died um god what else i
would have enough scotch to make it so i wouldn't be upset about being electrocuted to death in a
little bit uh what elseata. What else?
I wouldn't have any.
If I had dessert, I would just get something like a Reese's Fast Break because I'm not into super crazy desserts.
That's my favorite sweet I've ever had, and I'm not moving anywhere from there.
The Reese's Fast Break.
It's the best candy bar on the planet.
What the fuck else?
Big giant Caesar salad.
Love Caesar salad.
And I'm not going to eat any greens or anything that
i don't want on my last meal so only ones that i do want not preparing for anything uh and some
burgundy mushrooms which is just mushrooms you slice up you cook it in a pan with some garlic
and butter and you pour a little red wine on it soaks it all up tastes good great on top of steak
um yeah and i'd probably be real full from that.
My mouth's watering.
Yo, just to let you both know,
you both just accomplished food reviews right now.
With no food in front of you,
you both just knocked out food reviews.
That's why I did this exercise,
just to see if you could make me want what it is you're talking about.
And, you know, outside of the mayo, I was hungry.
I was rocking with you the long way.
You were doing a major, and
Taylor, you fed me amazingly.
Amazing job, fellas. Amazing job.
Thank you. We got a real future in this, you know,
if we ever want to ditch this Little League stuff,
Kyle, and go hit up with Richard Ray.
Or actually,
we gotta find a different one.
Burger Bros. That's our channel. It's called Burger Bros, and we just eat burgers.
Speaking of, let me go ahead with the shameless plug.
My next episode on Rage to Ray is on the 25th, next Tuesday.
Be sure to tune in.
See me doing my one-two thing, most definitely.
That's awesome.
Definitely check that.
I need to check that out, too.
That's Food Network, I guess, right?
Well, for me, it's ABC. It's her daytime show. ABC. Yeah. I'll have to check that out too. And that's Food Network, I guess, right? Oh, well, for me, it's ABC.
It's her daytime show.
ABC.
Yeah.
ABC.
I'll have to watch that.
10 o'clock a.m. Eastern Standard Time.
I like watching cooking shows way more than you would think
because I'm not super into cooking.
I like to do it every once in a while.
My girlfriend's a great cook, so she just handles it.
But it's fun to watch the shit they can do,
and especially that dude, the British guy who screams screams at people gordon ramsey yeah really just no no good reason
you got to find a way into hooking up with that guy just to have like the one-two punch if he's
really critical and then you kind of like lift him back up like hey it wasn't that bad like he's
just coming down on you because he owns a bunch of really nice restaurants you stick with it you
know well put it like this Just to let you guys know,
his team did reach out
probably about two weeks ago
with an email to bring me out there
an episode and I had to
nicely decline
because they didn't want
to show any love.
My requests are always small.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm a big boy you know i'm
saying so you got six foot six close to about 387 pounds i haven't fit inside coach seats i don't
remember how long so for the last three years i've always been flown first class that's what
i was like i don't know i'm not even worried about the money just fly me first class they're
like we can't do that i think when then you ain't got me. That's good. I'm glad you stood up for yourself.
That was a good conversation.
Gordon Ramsey couldn't put you in first class, or his
manager, whoever it was. His team.
His team, you know what I mean?
Does Cindy work for him? I respect
you standing up for yourself and for your brand
and all that stuff. That's what you need to do in
situations like that. If it's just a
bridge too far, you'd be like, nah, if you can't
afford that, you can't afford me, because that's what I am. He's six foot six. They're trying to put him in coach to go
be on Gordon Ramsey, do something with Gordon Ramsey. He's like, first class or bust.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Plain nightmares. Make your own show.
I'm like six one, maybe a little bit taller depending on the gas station I'm walking out of,
but it's tight in there.
My knees are against the thing unless I slide my ass all the way into the seat,
and then I'm kind of hunched forward.
It's a real tight fit for me, and it's very miserable.
It's very miserable if your seatmate is not my size again,
if he's any bigger than me.
I'm 6'1", 6 one six two like 180 to 190
pounds uh depending and if if he's any bigger than me then it's not enough room uh both ways back i
had tiny people on the way back this last time i was just waiting you know wait for my seat mate
to come and there's this little if you're there first you're playing the like please please please
no no no game, right?
As they come down the hall, it's like, I hope it's that little Asian woman.
I hope it's that little Asian woman.
No, not the big dude.
Oh, no, he's coming closer.
He's going, oh, fuck.
He's pointing.
He's like, could you let the arm rest up?
It's just not going to work otherwise.
I'm like, absolutely not.
Real quick, I want otherwise absolutely not one of the
probably most uncomfortable and not so much for me just for the guy sitting
next to me that was my final coach trip a few years back I go to sit down the
gentleman next to me he's rather large in size but he's in his seat he's
already comfortable and I gotta go sit down next to this individual.
The plane is packed.
There's no other places to sit down.
I kid you not, for about two and a half hours,
we are just intertwined with our legs. You're cuddling.
Wrapped to each other with all type of body arm fat,
snuggling close.
It was the most close I ever wanted to be next to a stranger
in my entire life.
Yeah.
And we said nothing to one another.
We didn't.
We were already sharing far too much.
But I never skipped that experience.
And that was my last time flying coach.
That's great.
Nice.
I like that.
Yeah, Mr. Fiscal Responsibility is like, but there is one thing.
Coaches for peasants.
I'm done with that shit.
I don't care what I find in first class because I don't want to have to go back and forth.
For peasants.
That's what I understand what you're saying.
Small.
Yeah.
I have a good pass.
It sounds like you need an estate pass.
You know what I'm saying?
We all got to start somewhere.
If there was a middle ground where maybe it's not so fancy and your luggage isn't free and you don't get free booze, you just get more leg room, I'd pick that.
You know?
Because I'm never like, bring me a glass of champagne.
I'm never really taking advantage of a lot of the first class stuff.
The free luggage is great.
And it's usually the thing, the determining factor if I'm going to take a first class the you don't take advantage of like champagne or whatever the fuck they bring
you why not it's too because i don't drink but i used what i used to do is i used to order bloody
mary's over and over and over and just pocket the mini bottles and then when i got where i was going
i had a little walking mini bar because the mini bars and hotels i don't know if you've ever done
that drinking out of one but it gets. It's like six a shot.
Oh, maybe not the alcohol, but I'm huge on the food.
All the peasants, as Damon would say, are back there eating their,
I don't know, mystery meat and mashed potatoes or something.
Meanwhile, you have steak and lobster up front.
It's nice.
I've never experienced that on a first class.
Really?
Oh, I have.
It comes with a dessert.
They have peanuts back there.
I have heated cashews up front.
You know?
You eat them and you're like...
This sounds great.
Last time I was on the plane, I bought an $8...
When that warm towel comes out, that's everything on first class.
The warm towels?
The bomb, yeah.
I don't have warm towels in my daily life.
As great as my wife is, she's not heating up wash rags and laying them on me this gloriously.
No, I don't get that unless I'm in first class, which is rare.
You can heat your own towels.
Wait, what?
Yeah.
I don't know i i'm speaking from a coach only perspective
because i've never flown first class i oh you'll i don't know if i want to get up to first class
and then see what i've been enduring so far i think i'll just take i'll just you know leave
them and i'll just stay in the dark you know like you've been on this i don't want to know i don't
want to know you've been i spent like eight8 on a paper box full of nasty pepperoni
because they said that would be a meal with some crackers in there.
And it's just, have you ever bought that?
Of course you guys haven't missed your first class
where they just are like, hey, do you want to eat our shitty little sad salad
with brown lettuce?
Or you can spend $9 and get our super snack box.
And it's, you know, the picture on the little pamphlet is like,
I'm getting some good shit here.
There's a little chocolate chocolate there's some crackers there's there's what looks to be real meat in a tube at the bottom for sustenance and you get it and it's just depressing meat and so
old it's a little sausage vacuum sealed meat that you then have to like you know like you have to
ask them for scissors because you have to pull it and then you hear that little like jesus christ you know what it's what airline is this this is like this is this is like romania
air or something yeah i was gonna say lithuania would you like to choose
it's just you and a meat sickle no it was the pilot sent this for you
it's yeah you're a little puddle jumper between Nepal and mainland China.
Coach is pretty much the aerial version of bus folk.
I wouldn't go that far.
No, no, no, no.
Bus folk are folks who ride on buses across the country like Chiz.
Chiz is a bus folk.
There's a very niche group of people who are bus folk.
Even a person who hops on a bus to get across town is not necessarily bus folk
because that's not a necessity.
Someone is a bus folk, like Chiz, our manager, so to speak, because he hopped and drove from California to the Carolinas multiple times by bus.
By bus across the whole country with bus folk having to hide as valuables the whole time because they're all transients and HIV positive.
And this is a man who probably has $1,000 that he could spend on a flight
and just make it happen.
Chiz saves all his money.
The big thing, like, he's very frugal.
He's a saver.
And I think he aspires to have great wealth, and he's on his path.
So that much is cool.
I feel like I've been a pretty good saver over the years.
But the big thing that I have is, so he stayed in my guest house for a while.
And he was there, I don't know, maybe five, six months.
Most of the light bulbs burnt out.
They were just fluorescent light bulbs.
And he just stayed in the dark.
He's like, ah, fuck it.
You know, he stayed on electricity and light bulbs and he just stayed in the dark he's like ah fuck it you know he stayed on
electricity and light bulbs and uh yeah literally for two rooms there was like one light bulb that
worked and uh and that's that i noticed he was in the dark all the time but i didn't know until
he moved out that he like didn't replace any light bulbs that's frugal i gotta do what you
gotta do you know i'm saying you know what I'm saying?
That's the grind. That's the hustle right there.
Yeah. It was a want to, not a got to, though.
He saves all his money.
Well, you only live once.
True.
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Yeah, I used to stumble over it a little bit.
Something about the way Chiz had spelled it out
or something like that.
I got it memorized mostly now. Nailed it.
Yeah, the trackers are cool.
I've still got mine on my gear bag.
Haven't lost that. If I had,
it would be a fucking meltdown anyway.
Yeah, Cindy
wouldn't help.
Cindy's of no use.
She's someone
that we should have tweeted her number.
She's someone who deserves it
one of the uh yeah i like the way you're thinking i think we need to bring that back i feel like now
if we gave out somebody's personal information that's so mean yeah no we see we should have
never stopped doing it right now it would really make waves if some guy were to like call in and
prank us and we gave out his phone number to the world they'd be like oh my god you guys are so
cruel but back in the day we did it all the time so they'd say oh my god to the world. They'd be like, oh, my God, you guys are so cruel. But back in the day, we did it all the time.
So they'd say, oh, my God, you're so cruel.
And we'd be like, and?
What are you, new here?
That's how we roll.
You fuck with us?
Your shit goes public.
Damn.
I got some guy.
So we used to do this thing like Road to Black Ops 2 or whatever.
And we'd try to get the game early.
People would be like, call this number.
And they'd pretend they had the game, but they didn't so we'd give everyone their number i got over
9 000 retweets like you know hassle this guy he hassled us and uh he had to get new number
9 000 retweets is a lot that was my most retweeted tweet that guy's number from years ago it got like 700 yeah oh mine too my
channel my twitter's not that big if you look at it now it doesn't have 9 000 retweets anymore i'm
not sure why like i don't know if someone unretweeted it or like accounts closed or what
the deal was but it definitely went over 9 000 which was like a big anime thing. Everyone wanted it to go over 9,000. Like, over 9,000?
Yeah.
Dude, a Beastie Boy died today.
Are you serious?
Yeah. John Barry, something like
that. Oh, shit.
I'm surprised that didn't blow up all over my
feed, you know? And that's the kind of stuff normally
comes up. What happened, Woody?
I didn't catch that.
One of the founding members
of the beastie boys died tonight um he had some sort of frontal lobe like brain deterioration i
hate to get it wrong but uh he had a brain problem and he hadn't been himself for% for a little time now and he died today and it's uh yeah it's interesting to me
because I'm finding boy died a couple years ago too hmm I'm hitting an age where like
the people that were in their prime when I was in like fifth grade are starting to die and it's a weird thing it's like like i don't know when
you're 25 and people die you're like right yeah that really wasn't my guy you know i didn't watch
that person's films i didn't watch that i didn't make that guy's music i listened to as an oldie
um but yeah for me like i don't know, Vanilla Ice
is going to drop off soon and I'll be like, really?
Like in high school, that was the jam.
True, true indeed.
You know what, now that you mentioned Vanilla Ice,
I give it to him though because he's holding on strong.
He has that little, that house rebuilding
show project he got going on
and when a lot of artists fall off
from like the 80s and the 90s, you never hear
or see them again unless they end up on an Old Navy commercial
where they use their track in the background.
He's holding on.
The thing about Vanilla Ice.
He's doing a real estate show, Vanilla Ice's?
Yeah, it's like a home improvement show that he has.
It's been on for a while.
It appears that he stayed rich.
A lot of people in his position just like blew it up
blew all the cash you know it's gone a few years later they're like an ex-youtuber who wondered
you know like oh i thought it i thought it'd always be this easy to earn money um you know
but not him like you know i saw him 20 years later and i saw his home and I was like that's a pimp house that guy
says he's still worth like 20 million
that's great
good for him
good for him
that was a very different hustle back then
I know for a lot of artists
in the 80s and the 90s
the money that they got back then is nothing like
the money artists are getting today just because of social media and the way things work when you put your
album out there you know you're single we can't even say full albums anymore because nobody even
cares about albums it's like you're single it's hot when's your next single coming you know so
that's what's pretty much driving the music industry but you know good on him yeah the um
i like seeing celebrities like that who i don't really
know much about and you know that their time in the limelight is long over but you still see him
and it's like oh he doesn't look like he's on heroin or addicted to meth like looks like that
dude lives in a subdivision somewhere and and you know goes to target like it looks like they did a
good job transitioning back into the regular person
world he he did a movie that hurt his career it was called cool as ice or something like that
and um they paid him a million dollars to do it and he's like dude it was a million bucks
you know would you have done it and i thought for a I thought, for a million dollars? Yeah.
For a million dollars, I would direct a documentary smearing me.
It's like, no, no, he's a bigger piece of shit than that.
You're going to have to take that again.
You have to really show me how bad I am.
Oh, yeah.
Definitely I would do that.
Well put, man.
That's pretty much what he did, I think, with Cool as Ice. That describes the film.
Of course, it wasn't like a a documentary but he made himself look bad you know it was like you know supposedly who he is or whatever and it was silly but um uh you know before my time how
huge was vanilla ice like i wasn't he was um he was not popular i think know what? Maybe comparable to LMAFO, right?
Did I get the name right?
I don't even know who that is.
They had Party Rock.
Party Rock?
It's that really generic.
If you heard it, you would recognize it right away.
Yeah, Party Rock is coming to my house tonight.
Everybody going to have a good time i know i'm gifted so um so you know he had that that one song that was a huge hit that everyone was like addicted to out of school it was on everybody's
speakers it was like it was just like ubiquitous it was everywhere as a song, kind of like maybe Party Rock used to be.
And then he had another hit, I guess, but it was a shadow of his biggest one.
I forget what it was.
And that's, you know, I think LMAOF.
Oh, I can't say the band, but that's about right in terms of fame level.
Okay, that actually helps because they were a big deal for a couple minutes.
Taylor, how much Company of Heroes have you been playing this week?
Really not that much this week.
When I am playing, I'm trying to get better with the Obsterwuffen or whatever the OKF is.
The second German faction. Oberkommando. get better with the obstrewolfen or whatever the ok f is yeah over woffit the the second german over over commando yeah i'm trying to get better with them because they seem like the most fun
well um they're they're tough to use i watched a couple tutorials on them and from what i can
tell you're right that the soviets are definitely objectively the best best faction like for being
good but i just like that the Oberwaffen or Ober...
I don't even remember what you just said.
Oberkommando or something like that.
Oberkommando.
Yeah, I like how they have the best heavy tanks and armor.
It seems like if you could survive early game with them
without getting overwhelmed by the conscripts from the Soviets,
that you have a way better shot taken down there.
Not against me, I don't feel like.
My entire game and my whole strategy
is to eliminate armor from the whole field of battle.
I don't like it being there.
I don't enjoy fighting with tanks,
so I deprive the enemy of any tanks.
I send out...
Everybody's specialized to destroy tanks, usually.
There's lots of anti-tank weapons.
I bought the British.
It was like $10 to get the British.
So you did.
Now I gotta get them. God damn it. Dude, they're great. So the British. It was like 10 bucks to get the British, but so you British now I gotta get them
God damn it dude. They're great. So the British are very defensive
They they like they build like hard placements that are very defendable and they build these enormous
Antitank guns that are that dirt just sit there and you can use them to direct fire
You can just tell the gun to shoot the ground somewhere and it's like a 25 pounder cannon or something like that
You can build 40 millimeter Bofors guns like that thing I shot in the video that time,
that little carriage you sit in and gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong. And you can
tell that thing just to auto fire somewhere and it will high explosive rounds continuously
forever. And you can build them pretty cheaply with your engineers. I like it a lot. I've
been playing as the British all week. I felt like it was a worthy $10, unlike that $4 I once spent on one of the commander cards.
I'm digging it a lot, though. I like the British.
I want to play some 1v1s. I feel like that would be fun.
And I feel like when you were kicking my ass forever in Age of Mythology,
I felt like that accelerated my learning so fast.
Because that meant that if i wasn't at least doing
well enough three minutes into the game to fend you off then there's no point in going to the
fifth minute right i gotta master how to get the minute three who cares if i if we if you can just
kind of play with your food and let me get to minute eight yeah if i can and and in that way
i feel like i was forged in a hot fire. You know what I mean?
Like, I got good and I got good fairly quickly.
Well, I'll play 1v1 in Company of Heroes with you.
Like, it'd be helpful to get it figured out and whatnot.
I need to start playing with the British, though,
and take a look at them, if they're that neat.
They're great.
Because I've only ever played against them,
and I see those giant tank emplacements
or whatever the fuck they are.
They have, like, four of those they can build
and lots of specialized stuff.
And for our fans out there, if you ever want to play with us,
my Steam is OFPSKyleO.
We have a Steam group.
There's a PKA Steam group that Chiz made.
You can join that thing. I'm a member
of it. I don't know the exact spelling of it,
but if you look at my Steam ID,
you'll see that I'm in that group. I'm only in like three groups.
But join the PKA Steam group
and you can jump on and play with us.
I play a lot. And Taylor gets on
a couple nights a week.
Did you guys see the Egyptian plane crash thing?
Yes. So do we know if it's terrorism
or not? They're saying
it seems to be.
Maybe that's even a stretch.
But they're like, we're not ruling out terrorism.
And there's like four things it could be.
It could be a terrorist. It could be a terrorist four things it could be. It could be a terrorist.
It could be a terrorist that worked for the airline.
It could be a terrorist that was an insider at the airline.
Or it could have been like a technical malfunction.
Yeah.
A couple terrorists got sucked in.
You know what?
I bet it was a bunch of extremist Jehovah's Witnesses who pulled the caper off.
Those people.
You know, that's usually the group who does this sort of thing, right?
That's probably it.
They were knocking on the airplane door and then just opened it unwittingly and everybody got sucked out.
So I was listening to Fox News, a good radio, which is not nearly as – although this election cycle, I don't feel like anybody's biased or more biased than the other.
It's a real shit show out there in cable news.
But I was listening to them and they said something about some military radar
indicated that the plane dropped
by like 50, I think first it took a
very hard left turn. Then it
dropped 15,000 feet, did a 360
and then dropped another
10,000 feet and was gone.
So
who knows what that means. You could interpret that
a lot of different ways.
I don't know this for a fact,
but I would bet that pilots are taught all kinds of maneuvers to use
and tactics to use if someone's trying to get through that door,
to throw them off their balance, to make it hard.
I mean, you know, you hit some turbulence on a plane,
and it's hard to even fucking stand.
Imagine if you're trying to hack your way through a pretty sturdy door,
you know, with rudimentary whatever the fuck you've snuck on there,
and he's doing loop-de-loops or, like, dropping 10,000 feet of altitude on you.
Who knows what happened, but I guarantee it was terrorism.
It always is, right?
And the reason I say that isn't about, like,
because terrorism is just a global problem that's just running away
like a like a
burning train into the night which it is um it's just that mechanically speaking i think planes
are much better these days you don't hear about mechanical issues taking planes down anymore you
do occasionally hear oh yeah they had to land early because this happened and that's because
we have so many different warning systems and indicators that let the pilots know that hey
you're getting pretty close to having an issue. Let's nip
this in the bud here. And so you don't see
planes going down on the runways anymore.
You don't see that very often.
I never thought about that. You really don't ever
see that anymore. Like a plane getting
all the way into where you're going to land and then
just the guy fucks it up and
sneezes and suddenly you go in a little too
much and it tears down.
Oh, and those pilots are excellent.
Someone was telling me once, I think we were talking to TSA,
there were some armed TSA agents and we were discussing the possibility
of them letting us attempt to sneak weapons on a plane
to sort of see how their security was doing.
And he was talking about that they picked really qualified pilots for those.
It's hard to be an airline pilot, I think.
It's not just a pilot's license.
You've got a lot of experience,
and I think a lot of them have military backgrounds.
Those guys don't get paid nearly enough, those pilots.
I don't know if they do or not.
I don't know how much they work.
They're away from home constantly, even if they're not working,
which I think even though you could say they only work...
Truck driver.
What?
I was just thinking of truck drivers and how shitily they get paid.
That's what I was thinking about. I don't know.
It just seems like it's so high stress and so difficult to be one.
Is it high stress?
I'm picturing myself, and I'm not someone who drives a plane,
so I'm just thinking if I were in charge of who drives a plane. So I'm just thinking like,
if I were in charge of hundreds of people's lives, I'd be stressed out.
Technically speaking at this point, and someone will correct me if I'm wrong,
but I don't think you even need a human pilot necessarily anymore. The pilot is really just
a fail safe for the autopilot at this point, it seems like, because I think that, that, you know,
if both pilots were to die mid flight, that someone just needs to press the autopilot, and it'll
land that fucking plane on its own. And I bet
it takes off virtually on its own, too.
It does the whole thing by itself.
I watched this documentary, and they said that
it won't be long before we'll have
an autopilot, a pilot, and a dog.
The autopilot flies the plane,
the pilot's there to monitor
the autopilot, and the dog's there
to bite the pilot if he tries
to fly the plane all right then so uh so yeah like how's i i imagine like if you're a qualified
pilot 99.9 of that job is really routine and non-stressful to you yeah one it's on autopilot
i think that's why they're drunk so much
you know are they really though i don't know but if um like yeah i shit i just feel like
even even if they're taking off manually it's something they do all the time and it's not a
big deal yeah we know as far as you know with uh autopilot system being in plans for many, many years now,
we have a lot of the car manufacturers now trying to set their vehicles up for the auto drive system.
How comfortable are you guys with those type of vehicles being introduced?
I am 100,000% confident in that.
And most of the time, I drive myself.
I enjoy driving i uh i lament the fact that i see american youth going away from uh wanting an automobile right out of
the gate because i feel like it's a very american thing that we've got this big wide open country
that that with no fucking borders in between that we have the liberty to drive across and enjoy and I feel like as early as possible you
should get behind the wheel of a car and start going and doing things and being
self-sufficient and get into the routine of that because it's a great
thing to be able to do but I have made road trips from Atlanta Georgia to
Boston Chicago Seattle and Phoenix those are the farthest distances in every direction.
And after driving that much, I would have loved an autopilot,
just so I could sleep, you know?
I'll drive 80% of it, but let me get some shut-eye.
Let me relax and get my neck to get this crick out of it
or whatever's going on.
Also, lots of sex in the car now.
Constantly going to be fucking in my car.
Just black those windows out.
Now I bet, I bet, I bet I could-
Let the glove compartment be known here to forth
as the condom department.
The condom department.
It would be like on a trailer-
Compartment, I see.
It'd be like trailer part boys.
I'd hit the window washer fluid
and wet platinum shirt shoots out right here.
It's like, fucking all right, let's get slippery.
So I, but i do trust those systems
100 i think um i trust myself as a driver say 99.9 i've never hit anything ever ever um but i
and i rarely ride with other people but um i'm often uncomfortable riding with others uh not
because i've got a phobia or anything just because of my evaluation of their driving skills I'll be like yeah this guy's just not a very good driver
I've ridden with like race car drivers
I think the guy's Billy Baldwin
the like Baja truck champion
or whatever, when you're in the car with him
you're like do whatever the fuck you want
Billy, you wanna jump the Grand Canyon
let's fucking do it
cause I believe you and you have more driving
skill than me and infinitely more so
so like whatever you wanna do, I'm on board for it, let's do it, but if you and I and you have more driving skill than me and infinitely more so so like whatever you want to do I'm on board for let's do it
but if I'm in the car my girlfriend I'm like just don't get anything baby just
fuck you trust yourself tell me more than a robot or less more on the long on
the long on the long run and that's despite the fact that I've driven
probably 400,000 miles on my own and never hit anything. But those auto things do better.
I think you answered it backwards, right?
He said, do you trust yourself more than a robot?
And you said more.
You mean you trust the robot.
Oh, my mistake then.
Yeah, no.
I trust the robot more because I feel like if I were being irrational,
I'd be like, hey, man, I'm just an amazing driver, never hit anything.
But it's not like it's a different computer system driving car A and car B.
The same computer is actually driving all the cars,
and none of them have ever had any issues. So they have millions and millions and millions of miles in every direction,
all kinds of conceivable scenarios, avoiding incidents that a human might not see.
You know, it's 3 in the morning.
I read something differently about that
in that some of them are having problems, like,
just because some roads are shit
and you can't see the lines correctly,
and so the computer is really having difficulty reading, like, by context.
Like, maybe it's fine on a brand- new road in New York, but then it gets
to East Jesus Nowhere
in Indiana, and it has no idea
what to do. New York known for its
quality roads.
I was just thinking about it.
Nowhere has quality roads.
Southern cities. Do they?
Missouri does not.
Come enjoy the New York hospitality
and our brand new roads.
Special.
We got your breakdown.
We know that you trust the robot
more than yourself. You need a little bit of relaxation
after clocking in over 400,000 miles.
Much respect.
Taylor, how are you feeling about the situation?
I like how you're taking charge of this.
Me too. I think it's fantastic
yeah i love letting let him go with it uh hmm i still as long as i have the option to like turn
on manual i'm fine with it like as long as it's not just something where if it goes awry i'm just
looking at like a readout and there's nothing here and i'm'm just grasping. As long as there's something there tangible for me
that I can grab and take control of need be.
Why won't you die?
In like 20 years, they're going to make a movie like that,
just like that shitty movie, Phone Booth.
Stephen King?
Oh, yeah.
You're stuck in there?
What's Overdrive?
Maximum Overdrive with Stephen King
when all the vehicles and stuff are reanimated
by the comet
or meteor or whatever.
I watched the movie.
Wait, maybe I'm thinking of the wrong thing.
It was also a book.
I mean, all of those...
I thought about it once
because I didn't, I guess, count them
at any point, but Stephen King,
his books have been turned into movies
almost every single one
what's your favorite?
my favorite is The Shining although
Stanley Kubrick really disagreed
with him
on the way that the direction of that
whole thing should go and he
Stanley Kubrick is such a fucking genius
he's letting you know in his own subtle way
like three minutes into
the movie you'll see a Volkswagen that's been hit by a semi truck.
I think it's a green VW.
And it's overturned.
And presumably the people in it are dead.
That's the car that originally in the book they're taking to the Overlook Hotel.
He's starting right out of the gate and saying, hey, you know the direction that your story takes?
We're stopping that right out of the gate.
Like, your car doesn't even make it up the road. They all die.
Now I'm in control of this story.
And he told his own story. So while it was based
on Stephen King's book
I guess that meets the criteria. That is my favorite.
One that's more true to the way
Stephen King intended
Misery with James Caan and
Kathy Bates.
Kathy Bates shows us that
a woman can put on,
it's one of the most powerful performances and real performances by a woman I've ever seen.
She frightens me, intimidates me, and I believe that she's off her kilter.
Yeah, she comes off as really crazy.
Like, it doesn't seem like acting.
She's a great actress.
And meanwhile, you've got James Caan kind of mirroring what Stephen King's actually feeling in his real life at that time
as someone who's stuck in this genre of creepy horror and would love to write about something else.
You don't think Stephen King ever wanted to write about a romance novel?
He puts the protagonist in his own shoes, and then he adds the evil that he always adds to his story.
You've got this writer who's tired of writing that same genre,
this whole story, and he's killing the character off,
and that's the thing that ignites what is misery,
the misery itself.
So that's my answer for that one.
Did you ever watch...
The movie itself isn't exceptional compared to Misery or The Shining,
but Pet Sematary?
Yes. As a book book did you ever read
it i have not no i read pet cemetery and the shining which did you think was scarier i thought
pet cemetery was scarier than the shining by an order of magnitude yeah for me for sure but i
don't know if i just understood it better. The whole concept of the shining the shining in the book
was kind of a
superpower almost.
It's like a psychic ability. I thought that's how they portrayed it.
It's in the movie as well.
But it was a really helpful thing.
You know, like it greased the slides.
Kids did better in school because they had
this shining and things went
easier for them because they had that shining.
And I don't remember it being like that in the movie.
Some people shine.
That guy's name is Scat Williams or something like that,
that actor that plays that guy,
the guy who's rushing up there to try to save the kid.
He did such a great job.
That actor is so warm.
He's got a big smile big smile well the thing about him in the movie and spoiler alert came out in the mid 70s i think so you
should have seen it by now but he gets he spends like there's a whole subplot in the movie of him
on a plane trying to get back from where he is to where they're all staying in the house because he
can tell by the shining that you know little kids in deep trouble and so he goes through
all of this shit like calling the sheriffs trying to organize help walks into the area snowmobiles
cars doing and pulling out all the stops gets like six steps into the hotel and jack nicholson just comes out and right in the chest just dead and he that's it
and that's it's like oh my god that was the guy that was supposed to help yeah like that that's
it that i thought that was just up to this big toothed lady and this weird little kid to find
their way out of here like the red wedding what no that was our savior now what yeah it lets the audience know that that like no this isn't a
traditional horror movie uh there is no deus ex machina there's not a a big strong man to come
save us this time this little olive oil looking late i think she literally played olive oil
and this tiny kid would have to figure out a way to defeat jack nicholson on their own
you know the cool thing about pet cemetery was for me anyway in reading the book
it proposed uh or posed a question that he had to answer you know like what would you do if your pet
died what would you do if your kid died yeah you know like god i get they're not the same but you're
just gonna say bye bye for done you know when there's a chance they could come back don't you
roll the dice yeah you roll the dice and you get the gun that's why so many movies
don't do it for me I think
because I've got guns and I've got access to lots of guns
and really powerful ones and effective ones
so it's just like every time
the hero or
the guy on screen runs into an issue
that could easily be solved by just a gun
I'm just like alright
let's see how you do it without a gun you know cuz like most things a gun solves I mean almost
everything I saw that's true in life isn't it I couldn't open my coke the other day
yeah absolutely couldn't open your coke so you got your gun out yeah dude I
carry a multi-tool on me not right now as i say this but i have my
multi-tool on me almost all the time i think it's in here i carry a nine millimeter multi-tool
do you i use that like it seems like i can't be an hour without that thing without noticing that
i don't have it and also most of the time it's me but i'm also like the family multi-tool holder
so you know the hope has a spare string at her uh
speech and debate event yesterday and you know i come in take care of it i uh it just seems like
i use it five times a day that's something you should get the whole family you got them all
lawnmowers they should all get their own multi-tool so you're not called to their errands
well half of them are girls
and don't have the same kind of pocket capacity that I do.
They have a purse.
They have a larger pocket capacity.
They have a bag that they can carry around everywhere.
You make a strong point.
So you know what?
They just don't want to do it.
I am so happy with my multi-tool
that I bought one that's TSA approved for the trip.
Maybe I'll give it to Hope because it's probably school approved. I'm glad you's TSA approved for the trip. Maybe I'll give it to Hope because it's probably school approved.
I'm glad you brought TSA approved.
I wanted to talk about this, and I almost got on it earlier.
I feel like TSA security is shit.
It's absolutely terrible, and I feel like I was just thinking,
because I saw this guy on the plane with a very large cane,
and I guess you're allowed to have them,
and I was looking at it and thinking of ways to conceal weaponry in it,
or explosives, or something that shoots a projectile of some kind.
And I was thinking, like, an intelligent, motivated individual
could get a gun on this plane,
because I just figured out how to do it sitting here.
And that really bothers me, because I know it's true.
Like, I know exactly how to get a shotgun on that plane.
Like, it's not that hard. You know exactly how to get a shotgun on that plane. It's not that hard.
And you could bust a lock with that.
You could depressurize the cabin.
Or you could just shoot people.
And it's terrible, but it's true.
It absolutely is.
And I saw recently, I guess their budget got cut.
Would your hypothetical shotgun do more than one round without reloading?
No.
Yeah, mine too.
Looks like a tripod in the end when it's in there everything you want yeah you screw things apart put them in different
configurations and it looks like something and goes bang yeah i follow but uh i do wish that
i could arrange something where i didn't have to like reload. You get one good shot. You gotta figure
though, if this is what you're doing, if you're like
yeah, next month I'm gonna go
hijack a plane with my shotgun,
how much are you practicing reloading?
I got another idea. All day,
every day? If it's a tripod,
why not have three barrels?
Ch-ch!
Just, you know, like...
Should I make this gun? Get the guy! Ch-chang! Get the guy! Ch get the guy get the the door there's a shotgun like that
it's called a kiapa triple threat is that how you pronounce kiapa yeah i took italian
okay then yeah yeah yeah um yeah hickok 45's son.
Is his name John?
That sounds about right.
I think his name is John.
Anyway, that guy can shoot it in like...
You know how you put that special stock on an AR-15
and it becomes almost full auto?
Yeah.
He can hold that Kiapa in such a way
that the same sort of thing happens.
Oh, he fires it.
Bump fire. That's what I'm trying to say to say yeah he's able to bump fire a triple threat a triple barrel shotgun
and it's pretty neat to see like it's it's it looks so heavy and unwieldy but it's got a real
like pirate vibe to it that like that's the kind of person who would have been carrying a really
unwieldy silly gun like that is like a swashbuckler just firing, you know,
willy-nilly across the sea trying to hit a foe's ship.
Single and double barrel shotguns are universally accepted and considered cool.
Everything else is like, is that a gimmick?
You know, that quad fire shotgun, that triple fire shotgun.
It is a gimmick, though.
It's like, it's totally a gimmick.
Like, if you see a car with three wheels or a car with five wheels you're like we've already arrived
at the perfect number of wheels for this and you're just being a dick trying to act like this
is better we all know it's not better the reason two the reason two is the perfect number first of
all like all the shooting sports are based around two and you could say that you know which came
first chicken or the egg but but all the shooting sports and you know hunting sports are based around two or three rounds
and it's just uh you had a third barrel it gets very heavy i've got a couple double barrel
shotguns i got one in the room back there i could get i guess but it's they're fairly light
you had a third barrel that that kia is a is a little unwieldy although like all of the silly shotguns are i mean this is the
utas and it's fucking like i mean it's all plastic but it's still pretty heavy piece of shit
kyle's got so many weapons just sitting right by him it's just weapons on deck over there bro
Kyle's got so many weapons just sitting right by him.
It's massive. Just weapons on deck over there, bro.
This is the 1216, like, from Modern Warfare 2, you know, with the magazine down there.
Sure, I know.
These are great.
A lot of noobs with that thing.
So many fucking noobs.
These things are pretty great, actually.
I like this.
But, you know, it's very heavy because it's an oddball kind of special thing you're trying
to do. I can't really reach the other three over there, but all of the special ones are
like that. They're just too fucking heavy.
Do you have any experience of guns, Damon?
Been to the range a few times over on a little.22, nothing too crazy. Getting
the wife into stepping up her gun game so I can make sure that she's well trained when
I'm on the road.
But not as heavy as our good man Kyle over here.
Most people are not that heavy.
Of all weaponry.
Where are you in the country,
if you don't mind saying?
I'm based in Connecticut.
I'm not even really far from Hartford at all.
Right, okay.
We talked about that before, Stanford.
I don't know what connecticut's gun
laws are like i think they're kind of tight it's massachusetts they are very very tight and they
keep changing what seems to be every two years at this rate they're about to actually make some
more changes to make it a little more difficult for you to even get your license if that's what
i gotta say i really hate those liberal gun laws yeah I used to live in Alabama, but they got very liberal in Alabama.
I don't know if you're aware of this.
They were going to take my rocket launcher away.
And I was like, we gotta go to Georgia where they believe in the Second Amendment
and anyone and everyone can have an anti-tank missile.
Because I just feel like that's the way the founders intended things.
We should all have one.
I think it might be
in the Declaration of Independence
the anti-tank missile. Yes, absolutely.
At the time it was like
anti-carriage rocks or something
but it just transitions with the time.
You know? Yeah, yeah. They mention
catapults in there. Similar system
right over there. No issues with that.
Yeah, the gun laws are tied up
there it's a shame i was just in california and i was talking to my driver about that because he
was like he's like yeah i'm really into shooting sports and he was like i shoot out here all the
time and he was costing him so much money to like plink a little bit he was like what do you like
to shoot and i don't he didn't know what i did and so i was just like i don't know man you know
just do a little plinkinghots yeah you know nothing too scary
just didn't even want to go into it
mostly 50k
he'd been bragging about shooting his pistol for like
15 minutes or something and how much money
he spent on like 10 boxes of ammo a year
or something and then he's like what do you like
to shoot and I was
you know I just like plinking stuff like that
I used to
talking about like the youtube thing your your
fame like not wanting to go into it again like it's gotten that way for me at this point where
i used to be like oh yeah let me show you this video from one of my buddies kyle like he shoots
up all these guns and now it'll be to the point like if i talk about guns i'll be like oh yeah
one of my buddies has this super cool xyz it's awesome and they'll be like, oh, you do YouTube. Is it FPS Russia? Is it that guy? No.
No, it's just a...
Shut the whole conversation down.
It's not that guy.
I'm not about to talk to you about him.
Is he really Russian?
I asked Vitaly.
I was asking him about my
Russian accent, because Vitaly is Russian. His parents
are very much Russian.
And I was like,
how good's my accent? He's like, it's very thick.
But I always thought you were Russian.
He's like, we all did.
I was like,
good, good, good.
It's very thick. So you're pouring it on heavy even for Russians.
They're like, this guy's a bit of a hick.
Because the guy that I'm
mimicking today
is like a 53-year-old Ukrainian man.
So I have the accent of a 53-year-old Ukrainian man.
Although, yeah, that's what's going on there.
So Vitaly's like 30.
I guess he's my age or something like that.
It's not nearly as thick.
And he lived here most of his life, I think.
Let's see. Oh, I was gonna
say that I would like to have that
job for the TSA or at least do that
for them. Show them security weaknesses.
Because I have a few ideas
in my head that I feel like could really
defeat their scanners and a few other
pieces of technology they use. And I
wonder if it's true. And if it is, I feel like know it and i i'm i don't want to sound arrogant that
i've like figured this out and they'll never believe it but i mean it is the tsa like we've
we've all been to the airport right we've seen these people in action um so i it just worries
me because because on that last flight i had so much stuff in my bag that was like lots of
electronics because i had this whole boom mic.
Like this whole boom mic was in there, and there's metal and all kinds of stuff,
and there's all kinds of electronics, big extension cords and stuff,
and my bag wasn't even looked at.
And I know they don't look at any of the bags.
They got their budget cut recently, and to kind of protest that,
they're allowing the lines to go outrageously long in Atlanta.
Is that why that's happening?
Yes.
In Atlanta, the line was backed up to a place that it's never been before.
If you're familiar with Atlanta's airport, that sort of food court place that's in the
middle between North and South Terminal, the South Terminal security line stretched through
that and wrapped around the bathroom area and it went almost to the check-in area.
And it was four people wide and there were two of those lines um and that wasn't nearly as bad as it was in chicago
i was gonna say i i couldn't describe it very well but i saw it in chicago
and it looked a quarter mile long and four people wide like it was 450 people missed their flight
450 450 jesus that sucks fuck the psa you know what i was talking to someone i know
who's jewish recently who's been to israel and they were saying how airport security in israel
is is if you're gonna do airport security they take it so seriously you can't bring your phone
on the plane everything has to be stowed away.
Like, you give it all to them.
You just go in, no phone, like nothing.
It's just you and your clothes walking in.
And apparently they have tons of devices for entertaining you
and having movies going because they all know, like, you know, we're in Israel.
You all have to kind of know people don't care for us in this area,
so we've got to be really careful.
And so they just entertain you on the whole flight
because they don't let you bring anything
on the plane. No laptops, no electronics,
no wallets.
I wonder if it's good, because the airplane
entertainment I have now is shit.
They've never had, and this is
Israel, mind you. This isn't fucking New York,
Detroit, St. Louis, Chicago,
Atlanta. This is Israel. They've never had
a plane get hijacked
from their airports while doing these procedures.
I find the airplane television to really suck.
I don't think it's good.
It has commercials in it.
A lot of the channels are bad.
The audio is bad.
They have a lot of connections to the entertainment community,
so they get lots, lots of good movies.
So I'm not looking for a great experience with airplane television.
I usually, I really, when I see it, it's a blessing.
And if it works at all, I'm happy.
Like I'm never like, oh, what is this?
Only 14 channels?
I'm like, all right, let's put the news on and watch that for a while.
Maybe something funny will come on later.
I can watch for two hours.
You know, like, oh, Friends is on now.
I can't choose that it started.
I missed the first ten minutes.
It's like, you know, what is this?
Every once in a while you luck out and get a good show
like Seinfeld or something.
But most of the time it's like a big fat mailman
and his big fat wife or something.
I don't have cable, so I'm...
Yeah, King of Queens. He's UPS.
Yeah, I miss cable news because I don't have cable, so I'm... Yeah, King of Queens. He's UPS. Yeah, I miss
cable news because I don't have access
to it anymore, and
I feel like it's kind of like junk food
for my brain or something. I really like getting on there
and watching Wolf Blitzer bullshit for two hours,
so I usually take
advantage of that when I'm on the plane. But hang on a minute.
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For you future viewers. I saw a bunch
of people commenting about that game, saying
that they loved the previous ones, and
that we need to give it a shot.
Especially since it's an RTS game.
Is it? I think it might be
turn-based, but I'm up for that too,
because I love Civ.
Is it turn-based?
I don't mind turn-based either.
As long as it's not like Civ,
and from what I've learned about this game,
games are pretty quick.
It's not like a 10-hour civilization odyssey
that you have to embark on.
Yeah, I'm not sure if it's all turn-based,
but it definitely says right there at the beginning
that it combines an addictive turn-based campaign
with conquest and empire building, et cetera, et cetera.
Maybe you can get more.
Yeah, that sounds cool.
We need to check that out.
Yeah, yeah, definitely, so I'm up for it.
But this weekend's going to be fun doing PK plays with our fan.
I think it's going to be all of us plus Chiz and our fan.
So we're going to have some fun.
We could, see, hear me out, Kyle. We could do Company to have some fun. We could.
Hear me out, Kyle.
We could do Company of Heroes for the benefit of Woody.
Or we could play Age of Mythology and just shit stomp everyone and have more fun.
Me and you will have more fun.
I'm on Kyle Taylor's team.
Three of us versus Chiz and the Patreon.
Worst experience ever yeah i uh i feel like i'm pretty
decent at fucking agent mythology especially at like early rush against noobs like like like that
that we'll clean you up real fast is kyle better than taylor at this point
we haven't played a long time we haven't played in a while if i i will say i'm still better than him he's just as good as I am
with Orinos the Atlantean
god he knows
but as far as I feel like
kind of freestyling with the game
as a whole like I can hop onto
any one of the gods and
be better
well then we'll take Kyle
I'll be with the patron
whatever I don't care I'm targeting Woody first.
Company of Heroes is great because...
Good. I love it when people do that.
Oh yeah, you want that.
No, I'm not going to attack.
Company of Heroes is great
because you know what a rifleman is
and what a machine gunner is and what a mortar is.
If I told you to build three
Hercere and to upgrade them really fast
you would have no
idea what i'm talking about whether whether i wanted horses or buildings or me or me to give
you some i'm gonna guess is a her seer a bird like animal not even close i'm thinking like
some sort of griffin dog thing not even the norse heroes yeah it's yeah it's a it's a bipedal hero guy um anyway the uh but if i tell you to make me
like two anti-tank guns you'll figure that out immediately because it'll have a picture of an
anti-tank gun there and you know what that looks like i'll say at gun and the and the cool thing
about that game well it might it depends who you're playing if you're if you're playing the
the germs or something it's just a bunch of consonants. Or if you're playing the Soviets, it's a Pac-40
I think.
I think, and I'm certainly
I don't know, I'm not a good player
at that game or very knowledgeable at it, but it seems
like in team play, I could
focus solely on infantry and you could sort of
race toward tanks and together
we would be an effective fighting force.
It doesn't seem like we each have to have a perfectly
balanced army that we send independently
out and do things. Like, I could just build
all the machine guns, and you could build all the
infantry, and Woody could build anti-tank
and mortars, and we could,
all three of us together, still be an effective
fighting group. I think that that game
would play to that strategy, but...
Yeah, yeah, that you can actually
do it in that game, I think. You're right.
Where you could just assign Woody a role to do,
and it might work.
Whereas when people were trying to call bullshit on us
playing Age of Mythology,
accusing you of just chopping wood and farming
and giving all the resources to me,
and then we told them that's what we were doing,
and they tried it for a couple games,
and it was just no fun for them.
Oh, that was great.
They just don't understand how the economy works.
It takes a few dozen hours
to figure that shit out.
And a couple dozen YouTube videos.
Put a lot of time into that game.
I think we're all in that.
I think successful people just do that.
You were talking earlier, Woody, about that you get
obsessed with a thing and you focus on it
and you really become consumed with it
until you become a bit of a minor league expert on
it within a week. And I think
we all do that to some regard. I've
certainly done it with a handful of video games.
I mean, shit, with Civ. Look to the level
we went with Civ. Like, tracking down the
world's greatest player and making him our
friend. And then, like, learning
his own special way of playing the game
and, like, going and playing with him.
You know, and, like And waking up early in the morning
to go play.
Yeah, that's
dedication, to wake up early
to play a video game, to get better at it.
Especially when early is defined as 9.
I think I
woke up at like...
Yeah, it was a little earlier than that. I think the game was going to start
at 8.30 or 9 or something, but
you know, I stay up late. I don't get up early in the morning. Shit going on at 8 in the morning. earlier than that. I think the game was going to start at 8.30 or 9 or something. But, you know, I stay up late.
I don't get up early in the morning.
Shit going on at 8 in the morning.
I hear that.
David, what time do you get up?
It's all about the 3 o'clock in the morning hustle.
That's when my days start.
Are you working the night shift?
No, no, no.
On YouTube?
24-hour Planet Fitness.
I hit the gym 3 o'clock in the morning just to try to maintain balance with my lifestyle. Are you staying up late at 3 in the morning or are you getting up early at 3 in the
morning? Getting up early at 3 in the morning. Holy smokes. When do you go to bed? It depends.
It depends on how many videos I knocked out for that day or what I have coming up. I'm trying to
be able to pump them out. I try to get to bed pretty early, about 10 o'clock. Sometimes I'm up a little bit longer than that.
Did you start your day
like 21 hours ago?
No, no.
I think today I actually woke up. I woke up a little
late. I was up about 6.30.
Jesus.
I'm always
early riser.
You know what I was doing at 6.30?
Going to sleep.
I was turning in for the night. I got up at 6.30? Going to sleep. I was turning in for the night.
I got up at 4.30 today.
You know, I set my alarm for 5.
I think it was 4, actually.
And I just couldn't sleep right.
I knew it was coming and whatever.
I wanted to capture the sunrise for my vlog on Friday.
And anyway.
You can find so many of those already on the internet.
Just sleep in.
Yeah, right?
Lift a sunrise. Nobody's going to say,
that's not the sun in your backyard.
I thought about playing one of the sunsets I've captured
in reverse, but it'd be on the wrong
side of the property and stuff.
It rises in the front. I thought I'd get
crap for it. I got a good sunrise.
How many multiple channels in the front and I thought I'd get crap for it. So I got a good sunrise. But
yeah.
How many multiple channels do you
maintain? And we'll start with you, Woody, on that one.
Just one. Just one, really.
Well, two. Woody's Gamertag and
Woody's Lab.
You don't know
that I don't actually upload videos to Woody's Lab.
So I don't...
I've got three channels, I suppose.
I've got my FPS Russia channel
with like six million subs, and I've got a second channel with
right at a million. It's getting there. I want that other
golden play button. And I've got a gaming channel
that I uploaded on like sometime two years ago
or something like that, like 80,000 subscribers.
And I haven't been uploading very much
at all because I've been working towards some
federal licensing, which just came in.
So we're about to kick things up a few notches because I'm able to do a lot of really cool
stuff like starting next week.
I got one channel.
Ready to go.
Just one.
Nice.
Yep.
Just one?
Just one.
Just living it up over there.
It's a nice small group of guys, you know.
It's gotten to the point where like it's not going to grow anymore,'s fine just just keep those same guys they're all really friendly and they like me
just let them hang out how many channels you got going i would say it's about i have three
i maintain of course you know the food review channel right i still have my dame drops gaming
channel rarely get a chance to upload to them much anymore
And I have my vlog channel, which I'm actually starting to do live streams on I started my first one about like two days ago
So I was doing my real talk segments on it for probably about a month and a half
Then I stopped then I came back with live stream so
Consistency is key it is it definitely
is I gotta try to figure out something within my life to remain consistent all
the time consistent with are the food reviews though that's that's the primary
one right yes yes yeah do you guys think that wings of redemption could do food
reviews I think he could it's right in his wheelhouse you would think Yeah I think he'd do good
I don't think so
Because
It involves like going outside and making
A thing happen and that's not his
Like strong point
He goes out and makes the thing we're talking about
Happen at least two or three times a day
I guarantee it
I didn't think of it along those lines.
Well, right now he's eating healthy, right?
Yeah, I didn't think about it along those lines.
Because I remember he was going to...
He's also really into trucks, right?
So we were like, why don't you go to a car dealership
and just talk about trucks?
See, these are the things that are good.
This is the thing.
See this plastic grommet?
Man, I spend all my day on forms and this plastic grommet breaks all the time cars catch on fire for this and um it you
know it didn't happen because like you know he's much better at like getting stuff done that doesn't
involve leaving i think i am too but um maybe with with going out and doing food reviews like
that's something that he would make happen.
I don't know.
Probably not conducive to a healthy lifestyle.
No, no.
It'd be like, hey, what if he did a little crack reviews?
I know he's on the –
You're like, I don't know, man.
I'm just kind of coming off of it right now.
Yeah, right?
I know he just finished rehab.
He's got himself coming back.
He's on the healthy train.
Things are going good.
It doesn't have to kill him.
He could just have one Big Mac every two or three days.
Something along those lines.
You can see they cut this with a little bit of bacon soda.
For sure, I can taste it.
You can taste the saltiness right on the tip of your tongue.
It hits hard. It hits hard.
This is from Lil J.
Lil J!
Lil J, don't put me on the camera, motherfucker.
I told you.
Ah, Lil J's cool.
He's cool.
Nothing worse than giving a shout-out to your plug
when it comes to the drug.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't have any subscribers.
Fuck off.
Yeah, that would be, you know,
he'd be fresh out of rehab. He he just put the cork in that bottle and
we'd be asking him to take a drink we laugh at that but i i predict in the next 25 30 years
we'll probably legalize a few of those harder drugs make cocaine definitely and uh and you'll
have somebody like uh strain central on there josh hi my name is josh welcome to strain central
he's gonna be on there fucking doing coke like doing a fucking rail and be like,
yeah, there's a little laxative in there, just a little,
but not much, not much.
This is from part of Columbia where,
and I can tell this is from last year's crop,
God damn, where it had a lot of rain,
a lot of rain down there,
and it was real wet,
and that makes for some potent blow.
And that's going to
be a youtube channel like in 25 or 30 years or whatever youtube is then because we see josh on
there right now you know smoking a gram of weed right there being like yeah that's smooth that's
smooth and you know if we saw that 10 years ago we'd be like why haven't they taken this down yet
i wonder um you know when does YouTube get knocked off its perch?
Never, because Google is the big daddy,
and he'll always be that big sugar daddy making things right.
What it would take is for someone to make a competitive site,
and there's only a couple of people out there in the world now
that are big enough to do that when you're going up against Google.
Maybe like Alibaba or whatever that
chinese company that's amazon's making one uh and and i yeah uh i could see i feel like the chinese
uh will probably do something because their censorship is so crazy and stuff they'll want
to do their own thing and it'll be all government sanctioned i feel like damon's tone over there is
amazon might be doing a thing but the people are on YouTube and I need to be where the people are but what if they said hey bring the people with you
we'll give you cash you know what give me that Amazon black card motherfucker
Amazon's amazing for everything that we have to do when it comes to pretty much cutting out the middleman
and getting everything that we actually need for a low rate, of course.
And it makes sense, you know, with the direction of television and everybody grabbing up the, you know,
the little Amazon little plug-in modules and getting all that wonderful television.
And if you know how to connect to your proper bootleg, man, you can take it a step further.
But we won't plug nothing like that here today.
a bootleg man, you could take it a step further.
But we won't plug nothing like that here today. But what I'm saying is
for Amazon to be anything like YouTube
and for that monetization to be laid
out for individuals to make that switch
and to start bringing over
their loyal subscribers,
I think it will still be
a difficult fight for Amazon
more so than it would be for
Facebook, for instance.
Whereas Facebook, you don't
have just a set range of you know of a particular age group it's not like you
just have the youth you have all ages I mean you're your 85 year old grandmama
is on Facebook messing around and she might end up with a Facebook page very
much similar to a YouTube channel if she knew she was getting paid she's like
well forget my Social security, honey.
I got myself a Facebook page.
I would just sit here and play with my teeth and take them in and out all day long.
So I think Facebook would be more of an issue for YouTube than Amazon would be.
Facebook started monetizing, right?
Am I crazy?
I remember reading about that.
I heard they have with certain individuals, but they haven't made it wide range as of yet.
They said they're working on it.
Facebook's got enough issues right now
with it seeming that Zuckerberg is censoring out
half of the country's news
and figuring out which stories need to go to the top.
And that way, being a bit of a fucking James...
He's at least one quarter of a James Bond villain
with his manipulation of the media
when you're as big as Facebook, so
that's pretty shitty of him, and I believe those
claims, and I love that they were like, there were
some journalists today being like, yeah, they're taking
a thin today, and they're gonna show us the
system and tell us how the algorithm works,
and we'll see if everything's on
the up and up, and I'm thinking like,
this reminds me of that scene from House of Cards
when you've got the NSA guy, like you know using the the master nsa computer to like uh data uh
mine everybody and figure out how to win the election for frank and frank's like can you keep
this buttoned up over there and he's like yeah as long as i'm here they'll have no idea what
they're even looking at and i'm thinking like that's exactly the scenario with some journalists
going down to Facebook headquarters and looking
at a computer screen. They got no idea what they're looking at. And even if they did,
even if they had the know-how to see something and know something, they wouldn't be shown
anything. And what they're being accused of doesn't leave any traces anyway. It's just
someone selectively saying, this is news, this is not news, this is news, and when you look at it
as a whole, it's like, well, all the
stuff you said was news kind of
seems like it's coming from the same
bias, and all of a sudden, stuff
that you said wasn't news also
looks biased. Yeah, you can say it.
It's conservative. Yeah. They censor
conservative media. That's what's happening.
Yeah, and they've always been scary
when it comes to gun stuff anyway. I've got gotta be very careful with what i post on my facebook
uh or risk you know having the page just deleted that's so ridiculous yeah they can just shut you
down if that you post something about guns that goes against the narrative or like that's your
livelihood that's why you like deplore hillary so much as you know that's going to be her modus operandi, just like Obama's
was implementing this healthcare.
Hers is going to be shutting down
guns. That's going to be her thing.
Which is, I don't like that because I like guns.
I like owning guns and shooting guns
and being a responsible gun owner.
It's that.
It's the Supreme Court Justice
nominees because we're getting at least one,
probably three.
I would bet on three by this next one.
They are old as shit.
They're old as shit.
So, you know, there's a lot of stuff at risk here,
and I can't trust it to Hillary Clinton.
As terrible as it may sound to some people,
Donald Trump is much more trustworthy
with the rights and the things
I care about than Clinton.
For you, you know
he's not going to come after your
livelihood.
And the way that she specifically
wants to do it is troubling
because it's in
a way that would doubly affect me.
If she just said, we want to ban assault
rifles, then I'd be like,
first of all, you're not going to be able to do that
because the way laws work
and the way everything's written,
you just can't do that specifically.
You're going to fuck up at that.
It won't get through this Congress.
It won't get through any Congress, really,
because everybody will lose their little seat
four years down the road.
But she wants to hold gun manufacturers responsible.
And in some regards, I am a gun manufacturer.
At least I'm licensed as such. And in some regards, I am a gun manufacturer.
At least I'm licensed as such.
And I have aspirations of doing things with that license.
I don't want to be held responsible if some maniac takes a gun that I build and then misuses it. And I don't think it should be.
Just the same reasons I don't think that Ford Motor Company should be held responsible when some maniac drives into a crowd.
Or any of the other scenarios that
we've beaten to death like a dead horse.
Or beaten over and over like a dead horse.
Who are these people beating dead
horses anyway? That happens a lot apparently.
I bet it was something. You just don't know when to
stop. You get carried away.
The horses have been getting their ass whooped for a long time.
It was back in the day when you're
beating the horse to go faster and the
horse died under you from dehydration
And you're so angry at the horse that you just keep beating it even though it's dead. Do you think we'll ever get so
The social justice warriors do you think the social justice warriors will ever take over to such an extent that?
Using the phrase beating something like a dead horse will become like a foot like hell don't say that about horses
We don't use that anymore no
that's very no absolutely
not because I you know like little things like the rule
of thumb might offense anyone
and everyone who knows what it's about
horses can't applaud them about how tolerant
they're being and so they have no
interest there I don't think
I think the social justice warrior thing is going
to slip backwards
oh yeah it's gonna it's just they've
pushed too far and now people are getting pissed because they feel like they're getting accused of
things like what what did i do like why are you mad at me like i didn't i didn't social appropriation
is one that i find particularly like lighten up cultural appropriation or whatever where they're
like i think that you said social but i think i know what you mean i made cultural appropriation or whatever where they're like i think that you said social but i think i know
what you mean you shouldn't be able to wear a sombrero or something because you're you're not
mexican or you shouldn't be able to dress in a parka or whatever if you're not an eskimo
that's silly because on the one hand they're preaching that all all cultures are equal but
you can't participate in any of them, except for yours.
I've talked so many times about how I love the melting pot
and I don't love the salad bowl.
Cultural appropriation prevents the melting pot from happening, right?
Like, I feel like you're supposed to take nine-tenths from America
and America's supposed to take one-tenth from you
and in the end, we're all better than we were before.
And, you know, when you say no no no
you can't imitate me like this is my sombrero you're like really because none of my hats were
protecting my shoulders from sunburn until now and and suddenly i'm mocking you if i have one
silly it should be like the different cultures come together and maybe one culture is the best
at one thing and everybody else is like oh they
these guys got it figured out like these uh jewish fellas really know this financial market and
they're really successful let's take a look at what they're doing now their food's kind of gross
let's maybe let's let's let's chop that off let's yeah let's take some china soul food some yeah
bring it on in by the way china those chopsticks what the fuck are you eating
food is good utensils we got you there yeah yeah see you bring the best of everything together
yeah and that's that's the melting pot right i love it that's what you think what it's supposed
to be anyway yeah you don't want people coming in and keeping all the bad stuff and yeah that just makes sense
yeah no country would want that and what we have now is this like groups of people who find strength
through weakness you know like oh my god you're suppressing me oh my gosh you're bullying me and
they're cry bullies and they they push back and say how dare you do that to me and it's like stop
it you're you're being offended and your weakness is not a strength.
You want to have actual strength, just power through.
It's taking authority in the grossest way
by being a fake victim and forcing others
to kind of fight on your behalf
just by virtue of the fact that you don't like
what someone said or something like that.
It's just condescending and disingenuous all around offended i don't i don't know when it stopped being okay to be offended like i get offended all the time
i often read things on online and and i'm filled with a little twinge of hate for the writer for
a moment when i'm just like you're being deliberately misleading i think or that or
you're very ignorant in which in and in either, you shouldn't be here spewing this kind of rhetoric,
and I hate you for it, but it's your right, and I respect that,
and I'm going to keep moving on, and maybe I'll post a comment down here
giving my clear thoughts about where you might have went misguided,
but I won't be insulting, and I won't be an asshole like you are.
But you don't take all of your friends and conscript them into emailing the management at MSNBC
talking about how you're so offended by Rachel Maddow or whatever
and that everybody like you.
There is nothing offensive about Rachel Maddow.
Everything about her is just tip-top and perfect.
Is it?
Oh, yeah.
That haircut?
I like that fucking haircut.
I think it's hot. No, you do not. You haircut? I like that fucking haircut. I think it's hot.
No, you do not. You liar.
I like her too. I think
Rachel Maddow is very attractive.
I like how smart she is. And it's not because I'm gay.
That's the reason Woody likes her. For me,
it's something else. She's so intelligent.
And I can see
she's not intelligent like
Peter Jennings sitting there reading off a teleprompter.
I can see through what she's reading and kind of behind her eyes
and see the inner workings going on here
because she lets it show through her facial expressions and her eyes so much.
What she really thinks, so she might say one thing,
but she's like doubling down with her eyes, you know what I mean?
And I can tell she's a really bright person.
I disagree with her strongly on a lot of issues,
but very attractive, very intelligent.
I like that.
I like her.
I disagree.
You're more of a Megyn Kelly kind of guy?
Absolutely.
Guess how old she is.
Both on the looks and the positions.
Guess how old Megyn is.
And her policies.
How do you know what position she's open for?
Wait, what did you ask, Kyle?
I do not give choice. How old do you know what position she's open for? Wait, what did you ask, Kyle? You have a choice.
How old do you think she is?
Like 39, 38?
45.
Wow.
Congrats.
Yeah.
She's got at least two kids, maybe three.
Looking great.
I'm a big Megyn Kelly fan.
I saw her Trump interview the other day.
That was a little... It was okay, I guess. I okay i guess um i was hoping i didn't see that how was that it was quite short
um she uh she really muscled him to try to get an apology or tell or say that he regretted things
um but it's hard to get that out of him you know he said something like along those lines like
um yeah yeah he did but but he said something like you those lines like um yeah yeah he did but he said
something like you know but but you can't dwell on those sort of things you've got to just keep
moving forward when something like that happens because there were some things that because because
she pointed out that he retweeted a thing that called her a bimbo and uh and and and he said
and he he seemed surprised that that word was retweeted by them genuinely i i almost felt like he was a bit
embarrassed that he had retweeted that he was i felt to me he looked a little trapped like you
know like because she corrected him she was like you know he's like i'm sure you got a lot of mean
things not necessarily by me but but you know mean things were said and she's like by you
you know well he retweeted yeah that's how it went though you call me a bimbo and he's like, by you. Well, he retweeted it. That's how it went, though. You called me a bimbo.
And he's like, I wouldn't say that.
He's like, you retweeted it.
And that's when he was like.
And he was just like, bimbo?
And then he thought about it for a moment.
And you could tell he was like, that is a bit too far.
However, Megan, I'm sure you've been called worse than that before.
I mean, come on.
Like, what are we doing here?
And I was just like, motherfucker just owned that shit and kind of.
He was like, take that gimbal and hold that L.
Yeah.
He's like, well, that's not the worst you've been called.
And then she goes, that's pretty bad.
He's like, oh, you should read some of the other stuff.
He goes, terrible, terrible things.
Like, I didn't retweet the stuff about raping your ass.
I brought the transcript.
I'm prepared to read now.
Just so you can see in real life the comparison of my comment.
There was a Reddit post that was like, how Donald Trump apologizes.
And it was in that moment.
It was something like, ah, regrettable.
I forget what he said.
But he didn't apologize.
I don't think you could call it that, but he did something halfway.
Yeah, that was interesting.
And then I saw he did an hour on the Hannity show.
You know, it's amazing the way he owns the airwaves anytime and every time he wants.
Prime time, morning.
I don't know.
Like, if you get up early, I know you guys all do, it seems.
But when I get up early, I like to listen to ABC News CBS News something like that
he does at least a dozen interviews
every morning it seems like he's on like half ass
radio shows he'll call into like
all the morning shows and stuff
and he'll give them three or four minutes or however much
time they want he's happy to be on the air
yeah that's the thing but he's willing to do it
like so I remember Jeb Bush was complaining about all the airtime that Trump got.
Back when Jeb and Trump were kind of competitive,
and everyone on the – it might have been Fox News.
It was one of the big ones.
They were like, you know, we'd have Jeb on.
Jeb's got a standing invitation.
He's one of the major players in the Republican National Party here,
complaining about how he's not getting airtime, but he won't come on the show.
It's because Jeb doesn't have Trump Force One and not give a fuck what jet fuel costs
and bounce around the country all week long.
Maybe.
I think Jeb can afford to travel, too.
Yeah, he's paying for that.
Probably.
Probably.
Yeah, he had a well-funded campaign at the time.
But yeah, these other guys, they're just not coming on the show.
I bet if Hillary said, hey, Megan, do you want me?
She'd be like, yeah.
You're the best get in the world right now.
She doesn't do very well with extemporaneous speaking.
I feel like when you, especially in interviews,
I feel like Hillary is, she comes off as a bit wooden, and it's hard to relate to her.
Just looking at her face, it doesn't move the way people's faces move when they're nice people, you know?
Like, she doesn't have a lot of, like, natural charisma.
Charisma is, what's the opposite of charisma?
Because that's what Hillary Clinton has.
I don't feel drawn in by her.
I don't feel like she's a warm person. Bill? Oh God, he's the opposite. I've heard people
tell stories about meeting Bill Clinton for the first time and how he walks in a room
and fucking owns it. He's a big guy, you know. And he just kind of comes in and he gets very
close and the way he shakes a hand and he's like he grabbed my hand with both hands. He
grabbed my wrist and my hand and he pulled me in close and he smiled and nodded
and told me a thing about myself that he knew.
And, you know, immediately, I like
Bill Clinton and he likes me.
And that's intoxicating. She is
not that in the slightest.
Trump's closer to that than she'll ever be.
Yep. Repulsion
is the best one I can find. Or repulsiveness.
I'm a bit...
Yeah, sure.
So, Trump's going to be your next president,
barring, you know, something weird happening.
And the more planes that go down,
the more it looks like Trump knows what he's talking about.
Could be.
Could be.
If you were to force me to bet right now i think i'd take trump but uh well get on those vegas odds because they're in your favor also i feel like um
uh like there's potential landmines and october surprises and stuff like that that can sink
hillary but nothing sinks trump right trump is just a natural flotation device. You can hit him with a bomb
and he just pops back up again
because gaffs don't hurt him.
Well, I think
we're coming toward the end of the show. I want to do a couple
of post rolls before we
jump out of here. Thanks again to
Blue Apron for sponsoring today's show.
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I also want to remind everyone again,
go check out Total War Warhammer. That's
definitely going to be the next one, the next
game that we jump on board with
after we master Company
of Heroes. I'm very interested in it. I love the
idea that it's mixing fantasy with
some
real world components and stuff like that.
We really loved Age of Mythology
because of those facts.
And I think that's going to translate here too.
I saw,
I read a PC,
uh,
informer mag or excuse me,
gamer informer or something on the plane.
And I read a good bit about it.
So a lot of screenshots and just the epic scope,
the epic scale of this is very surprising that it's,
it's so big.
Um,
so check all our sponsors out.
And of course,
check damn drops out over here.
Like where,
where do they want to go to, to to check out all that is you, Damon?
Where do you want to send these people?
I know you've got that Rachel.
You definitely should plug the Rachel Ray time and slot.
But tell them where else.
Just let everybody know you can catch me May 25th next Tuesday
on the Rachel Ray Show, ABC, 10 a.m. Eastern Standard Time.
Of course, check out the Super Official Food Reviews.
You're already on YouTube, so check me out, Dame Drops.
I'm always in the building at Dame Drops on Twitter, Instagram, Dame underscore Drops.
I'm all over the place.
I want to give a quick shout-out to the P.K. squad up over here,
Woody's Game and Tag, FPS Rush, and my main man, Taylor.
Joe and the Major right now have me over here on this Skype call, super official.
Thank you, gentlemen.
Hey, guys, check him out.
Link in the description.
Yeah, definitely check him out.
Thanks a lot for coming, man.
I appreciate it.
Sticking through.
I know you must be tired.
You're still here.
I love you for it.
All right, that's a wrap.